Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP50: Janine Harouni

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Janine Harouni. You can get tickets for Janine's new tour HERE Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Attention all soccer fans. From Orlando to Los Angeles,

take to the fields of the USA for your next vacation. Ready to kick off? Discover exciting games and events. Plus, find amazing hidden gems in cities full of adventures, delicious food, and diverse cultures. You'll love it so much you'll want to extend your stay beyond the matches. Get the ball rolling on your soccer getaway. Head to visittheusa.com. soccer getaway, head to visittheusa.com. When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance, it becomes a gift from you to your family later, because no one should have to plan for a loss while they're experiencing one.

Paying in advance protects your loved ones and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at DignityMemorial.ca Picture this. You finally get to the party and it's the usual. Drinks and small talk. Suddenly you spot something different, the Bould Seagram 13, a 13% cosmopolitan cocktail. You grab a can and take a sip. Suddenly you're on a fresh adventure, becoming the hero of your own night. Unapologetically full flavored cocktails with a 13% punch. Seagram 13, dare to make your own luck. Must be legal drinking

age. Please enjoy responsibly. Available at the LCBO. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with... Kids, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett! And can you say Josh Whiddicombe? Josh Whiddicombe! Well done!

Wow, our first cult leader. Do you know what that felt like? It felt like she was hosting a quiz on CBBC, you know, when you're like, kids, are you ready? You've got to go through the gunge. Then you've got to defeat the man dressed as a pirate. And then you've got to collect the tokens. Yeah, that felt like a great energy, like it was a birthday party or a family event

and they went, oh, while we're all here, let's do this. I'm going to tell you, Rob. Go on. Oh, wow. Do you know what? Fair play to Tanya. Tanya! Not heard of Tanya for years.

No. What's a Tanya? Same thing? Tanya, Tanya. Tanya's a sort of posh Tanya, innit? Her PS is fucking incredible. PS, I've scheduled sending this for 5am on a Monday morning to be top of the inbox. And it worked!

Fucking brilliant! She's on fire Tanya! But, I'm going to tell you now, I think where she is, is your? She is at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium teaching children Maths at 6 a.m. On a Monday. No, she's not Rob what she is doing This is Dylan Amelia Jackson Mayor Seth Nathan Lottie and Missy aged 96 They are posh to four hundred and forty four months. Yeah, this is recorded our 12th NCT holiday get together. Fucking hell, Tanya. Having met 13 years ago when we were pregnant

with our firsts. I know this sounds like hell, Rob. She nailed it as well. Well, at least we know each other. You know what we like, we don't like. But it's genuinely the best week of our year. Josh, you'd love it. I don't know.

Eight adults, eight kids, a big villa, and a lot of food, drink, and laughter. Yeah. I thought they were gonna be camping, so the villa I'm on board with. We are all big fans of the show. Yes, the kids too. Thanks for all the laughs, keep it sexy and relatable.

Laura and Alex, Vic and Al, Tanya and James, Karen and Nish. Right, I'm gonna say something here. And I don't wanna cause ruptions in what looks like a quite wholesome event There is no way all eight adults like each other forget the kids. There is no way I Get the feeling Tanya may get on with everyone. Yeah, however, I'm not saying they don't get with Tanya But there may be other infighting in there. Give me the names again. I'm gonna predict you don't like each other Okay, Laura and Alex. What do you think of Laura and Alex?

Laura and Alex, I think Alex works in finance, Laura works in HR, a joke like that, they're no trouble. Vic and Al, I'm presuming Vic's the woman. Vic and Al, now these are your wild cards. These are our wee short names because we're a bit of a laugh. Now I think Vic and Al, I think they're the ones that Laura and Alex don't mind, but won't say, can they not come because they don't wanna cause ruptures.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Vic and Al are a bit too wacky for me. Yeah, and all the others. Then you've got Tanya and James. Tanya and James, they're from Money. I've got the feeling Tanya and James front up the old house, and then they all come in quite cheap.

Well, I don't know if they're from Money. I think Tanya knows how to make money, because she worked out how to email at 5 a.m. on a Monday morning. Either way, I think they're weighed in. Tanya runs a hedge fund. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. And do you know what they do?

They go, we'll just book the villa, just bring some drinks. And then Laura and Alex go, Vic and I are doing our heads in, but it's a free holiday and the kids like it. Yeah, Karen and Nish. Karen and Nish, I mean, if anything, Karen's just probably trying to keep her head down

because of the name. Do you know what I mean? It's tough to be a Karen out there, so she's probably just happy for any invite at the moment due to the terrible PR that Karen's getting. Same with the name Nish in the last few years. Oh, Nish Kumar. Yeah, you've got Karen and Nish. That is tough, innit?

If you're a conservative voter. He's called Nish, not for me. She's a Karen. Let's swerve it. for me. She's a Karen, less worth it. They've even sent in a lovely picture of their kids by the lake. And I've absolutely shat all over their wake. Yeah, but I'm not gonna- Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my gut.

That's what my gut's telling me. Well, she said you'd hate it. We've delivered. We delivered what you want, Tania. Michael was predictable. Yeah. With which emails he chose. Rob was predictable with his reaction.

Yeah. And I was there as well No, but what I've done is I've not just gone that won't be my cup of tea I've gone through the names of all the people attending and told Tanya why I think they don't like it Which things a bit much she's added Yeah, one person from each couple has slept with each other and she wants Rob to work it out. Okay, here we go niche dirty Okay, here we go. Nish. Dirty. Nish and Vic. Absolute fuckbusters.

Nish and Vic. But no, I'm glad you have a nice time. Do you know what it sounded like they were having fun? So maybe, cause you know, we've got friends that we get on with the parents and all the kids get on and there literally genuinely is no ruptures either way. Yeah. However, finding that with four couples is impressive, but I'm not saying it's impossible. Yeah.

But that's just my gut instinct on it, Josh. But I'm glad you've had a great time, Tanya. Thank you for sending that in. Have a great holiday. We're going away with two couples this weekend, Rob. Yeah. So this is recorded before Father's Day, Rob. Right, okay.

But we're in separate, it's a caboo in Kent, which is like kind of, they're not called pods. What would they be called? You went before, it's like a posh cabin sort of thing, isn't it? Yeah, cabins, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three separate cabins, yeah. We're not all in one.

No, that's good, I think that's very healthy. The Euro starts on Friday, Rob. Oh yes, please, straight on eight o'clock, Germany, Scotland. Germany, Scotland. That's going on the telly, please tell me that's going on the telly. I'm watching that, yeah, yeah. I would, I'm at the stage of my life now, where if they're all in one cabin having a laugh, I'd say, well, if you're gonna watch it and you don't want it on the telly. Please tell me that's going on the telly. I'm watching that, yeah. I would, I'm at the stage of my life now, where if they're all in one cabin having a laugh,

I'd say, well, if you're not gonna watch it and you don't want it on the telly, I'll sit in the other cabin until 10 o'clock, then I'll come back. Yeah, yeah, of course. And I'm willing to live by that. Well, you're just bang in the middle of really bedtime as well, isn't it?

True, yeah, I mean, yeah, but they don't go to bed late when there's something like that. They have late when there's something like that. It's holiday, isn't it? It's holiday. Holiday rules, Josh. Yeah, exactly. Do you know what I'm doing for Father's Day? Well, that's it. His father's day on the Sunday as well, Rob.

What are you doing? Are you coming home? Are you staying? Well, we'll still be there. In the morning. In the morning, yeah. I'm interviewing the lead singer from Slipknot. Oi, Corey Thingy?

Yeah. Oh, he's meant to be a laugh. Yeah, I know he's meant to be a laugh, but I would quite like to see my children. But needs must. No, to be fair, it's worked out all right. I'm at that in the morning. And then Lou's taking the kids to her dad's

to see her dad in the morning. And then I'll see the kids in the afternoon. So that may not happen. I might get canceled last minute, who knows? But that's the plan at the moment. England in the evening. And England in the evening. Also, what do you think about this, Josh?

Lou said backwards cap on me. What did you say about it? She likes me wearing a backwards cap and this is the caveat on holiday. I think you look like you're going undercover in a school to try and find some teenagers that are- What like Channing Tatum in a, what's it called? Yeah, I don't know, but you know-

With Jonah Hill. Yeah, thingy fourth street or whatever it's called. It's 42nd street. No, what's it, fuck it now, how old are we? 21 jobs. it's called? It's 42nd Street. No, what's it fucking hell, how old are we? 21 Jobs Street. Miracle with 34th Street, yeah, yeah, I know the one. But yeah, Lucid's quite like the backwards cat on holiday. I didn't know Lou was a paedophile, but fair enough. Oh wow, do you know what I mean? Gotta do we gotta do the Keeper Interested.

24th Street, 42nd Street, 21 Jump Street. Email in if you've got any stories about getting the names of things mixed up. I mean, really? Is that a good one? It's worth a go. Favourite grand shag as to once I called Shawshank Redemption the Shawshank exception. I liked it. That's a bit of fun, that.

Do you know what? It's a bit of bloody fun. Exactly. Michael, if you do email those things, if you could shuttle them for five a.m. on Monday mornings at the top of the inbox. Oh, poor Mike, Michael's going to have a horrible Monday. Michael, I love that. He loves films. I suppose the point now is, you've got to work out at what point on a Monday morning

Michael's checking the inbox and get a minute, because now 5 a.m. Go 5.15. Really, you should go 5.15, and then someone's gonna go, how late can you go? It's a game of kind of brinkmanship. How late can you go? Right, well, should we introduce our episode?

This is Janine Haruni. Haruni, you will find that out at the start because we ask her. This is Janine Harouni. It's a good one. Well, we've spoken about Doomsday Preppers quite a lot, talked about her stand-up career and the fact that her husband does her tour support and we asked quite a lot of nerdy questions about New York. Because we're a couple of nerds despite- Oh, I don't know about you, I've got a backwards cap. Yeah.

I don't think a nerd has a backwards cap, mate. No, sorry. They're too busy studying to change their hats. I'm surprised you didn't ask her whether she'd ever been to 34th Street or 42nd Street. Yeah, I've been up the old 21 Duck Street. Janine, please excuse me, your pronunciation of your surname, is it Harowny or Haroony? It's Harowny. Haroony. Like peroni. Like peroni. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. That's what you've been in London using peroni as an example.

In America I used to say heroni like baloney and I tried that here and they were like, I don't know either of those words. Baloney? Well, welcome to the podcast Jareen. Oh no. Oh no. I'm peronia by it. Janine Heroni.

How are you Janine? I'm good. How are you Janine? I'm good. How are you Rabe? Great. Josh, you alright? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Thanks for doing this because you're very busy. You're in Dubai. Are you on tour or is it one of the circuit gigs out there?

I'm on tour. I'm doing my tour show here. Honestly, this was the perfect time because I'm not. I've got nine months on at home. So doing this was the perfect time because I'm not, I've got a nine month son at home. So doing anything in the same house as a baby is a ticking time bomb. Well, you've left your son for what? Is it 48 hours or whatever? Yeah, yeah.

How much do you check in or are you enjoying the time away? Zero. I check in zero times. Yeah, no, is that bad? I just, I need a break, I think. Yeah, no, I think that zero times. Yeah, no, is that bad? I just, I need a break, I think. Yeah, no, I think that's fine. I think when they get older and they ask to speak to you, but at this age, they don't know what's going on.

They're just sleeping and eating. I'm not talking to him when I'm at work. He doesn't know my schedule. I'm being busy. Exactly. Getting a little massive lying. How good at that age, at nine months, when you go away to work for a couple of days

and you get that lying, it's outrageous, isn't it? You know what's crazy is I just toured in America and my parents looked after Miles, my son's called Miles, while we were away and my husband was opening for me. So we would be with my parents for the week, then on the weekend me and my husband would fly to two or three different cities and leave our baby. It was like we were just going away on little city breaks every weekend. It felt like we were cheating. Like it felt like we were cheating at parenting. Were your parents totally aware of your schedule or could you say have done one extra weekend and gone just doing Cincinnati and blah, blah, blah?

And then? Well, we did stay for an extra night because it was my husband's birthday. I always forget this poor man's birthday. I booked a show in Boston on his birthday and then had to style it out. And it made him work. Yeah, I was like, no, I planned it. So, God, I hope he doesn't listen to this podcast. I was like, yeah, yeah, I planned it so that we could stay an extra night in Boston.

And thank God, actually, Boston is a super cool city and we had a really nice time. Yeah, that is a good one to be in, Boston. You could have been in some actual shit-up. Yeah, it's really cool, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, like Raleigh, North Carolina, that was not. Well, that's the thing, because you're completely guilt-free as a couple if you're both working. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you just went to America, dropped your kid off, and then just traveled around America for three weeks, you'd be like, I've got to fucking parents this. But when

you are officially doing that as work, it's the ultimate getaway. And I mean, work is an hour and a half a night. We had so much free time. It was crazy. And we had also, because my parents don't get to see miles very often because they don't like traveling too much. So it's only whenever we come over, they get to see him. They were just lapping it up.

And my mom was a maternity nurse when she was working. Oh, my God. So your child returned to you, actually sleeping better kind of rhythm. Genuinely. Genuinely. They sleep trained him while we were away, and now he sleeps through the night. Oh, my God. It was unbelievable. Yeah.

Is this the first grandchild of theirs, or the elder other? No, it's the third, but it's the first grandson. So he does get, I think. Right. A little bit of special treatment. Yeah, he gets preferential treatment. Yeah. Can I ask what it's like having your husband open for you? I know this isn't what you're here to talk about, but like, there's obviously a dynamic there because what if he has a bad one or are you like,

you know, could you not do this bit like is there ever is there any? Situation going on there's one joke that he has that's about me. That's very funny But I've asked him not to do it and he's acknowledged that he's your husband when he's on stay Yeah, I introduce him. I come on introduce him as my husband. Yeah Honestly, it's great. The only way he could ever mess my show up is if he was way, way funnier than me. So I'm like, have a good one, have a bad one, just don't have an amazing one.

And he's done that a couple of times, and then I'm like, come on, man. Yeah. There's two ways to be sacked as a support act. There's two ways to be sacked. One is being too good, because it's hard to follow. Or the other one is if they're too shit or don't listen. If you say, don't do crowd work,

because I want to talk to them. And then they go out and do crowd work. You know, we'll get rid of them. They're not even listening to me. Right, exactly. Luckily we're very, he's so good at crowd work. And I am terrified of crowd work. I want to go out.

I'm like, I've written the jokes. I want to come out, do the show. There's a bit of crowd work in, but I never do it at the top because I'm always just a little too nervous to deviate. Well, that worked pretty well then. Really well, thankfully, yeah. What was the joke that you had to take out?

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. It was about finding my porn history online. I'm like, I don't want people to know this. And he's like, they don't know if it's real. I'm like, oh, it's real. I'm like I don't want people to know this and he's like they don't know if it's real I'm like oh it's real

especially if you've got to come on after because you sort of have to address it like a write a reply almost is he allowed to do that routine in clubs? I'd rather he didn't but he's told me a couple things he doesn't want me to say and so I've had to tweak them or stop doing them. That's fair enough. I think that's only fair Why have your partners said you can't say certain jokes? No, but I think I'm I don't do that much about our relationship So I don't it's not a situation which has arisen if that makes sense I've had people ask me to tweak something I used to do a routine about Some of my cousins saying that that was in prison and My mum was like, can you not say that?

Because Auntie might get out. I'm like, well, it's true. Right, wow. What was he in prison for? Also, I don't need to go through the full charge list. It was just like a video footage of me and my family growing up. And I was like, he's in prison now. But in the video he's like a cute little kid.

That's very funny. But yeah, I think it's different though if you are in the public eye, or especially at your show, you've got to go on. If someone talks about your porn history and then you're on stage next, you've got to address it almost, and then it's just an awkward way to start. Yeah, yeah. He used to do this bit where he tells a story where he thinks I wanked the dog off. And so I had to come on and be like, I don't wank the dog off.

I suck him off. And so I had to like come on and be like, I don't wank the dog off. I suck him off. No cleanup. Get it? Yeah. Yeah. Get them before they're gone. It's time for tins. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working. You're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan?

And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal, probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be KD.

Shop now. You've both got similar kind of evenings then and stuff. So you're both around a lot in the day and then how do you work that? Well, Andrew does, he moat, his main job is he directs. So he does actually recently, he started directing specials. So he is gone in the night. So we have an amazing friend of ours who used to be a nanny.

She's also a comic. Basically, I just employed comics. Yeah, I know. It's also a comic. Basically I just employ comics. So real laugh being your baby. It must be an absolute hoot. You know what? Because I did Edinburgh when I was nine months pregnant with him. Oh my gosh. So I think because of that he laughed so much because I think he just heard laughter so much while he was in the womb. Oh, he wasn't at my Edinburgh. I did that Rose was pregnant when he was in the womb. Oh, he wasn't at my Edinburgh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know what we were thinking. How soon after did you give birth then? A week. A week. Fuck it out.

Yeah. She wanted to hear something crazy. My agent, when we were talking about whether or not I should do it, she's given birth to two kids in her house with no medication. One of them, her midwife, didn't even get there in time. She just gave birth on the toilet. She's like, birth is easy. You know, she has no concept of how afraid I was. And she was like, labor takes hours. I have friends that were in labor for like two days.

So if you went into labor, you can always just get on a train and go down to London. I was like, what? I don't know anything about giving birth, but I'm sure we shouldn't involve the British Rail. Yeah, yeah, not at the moment as well. If I knew West Coast, the kid would be about four months by the time you got there. Because Romesh, he had his kid in Edinburgh, didn't he? His third kid. Now looking at his career is the most Romesh thing ever, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. The signs were there, weren't they? He did the gig that night and then... He did the gig? He did the gig. Was his wife in Edinburgh with him or was she... Yeah, yeah, yeah. She told him to go and do the gig. So how was the label then?

You said you were scared, was you nervous then before? I didn't do it. I had an elective C-section. You can do that. You can do that on the NHS. It's amazing. You just tell them. Yeah, and they try and convince you otherwise.

Like all these midwives were like, are you afraid? Do you want to go to like a class to help? I was like, no, I just don't want to do it. Just get it out. I don't have to do it. Just get it out. I don't have to go through labor. It was amazing. I think that's a really, you know, positive thing to hear because you can. There is a lot of you have to do this, you have to do this.

There's stigma attached to everything. So it's good to hear you kind of just say that. Do you know many people that have done that? I had one friend, it wasn't elective. She did it because the baby was turned the wrong way around so she had a scheduled C-section. But by the time it came to do the C-section, the baby had moved and she was like,

let's still just do it. And I mean, a C-section isn't easy. The recovery is really painful. It's not a laugh, is it? No, it's, if someone told you that they had surgery while they were awake, abdominal surgery while they were awake on a battlefield, do you think that was the most badass thing you'd ever heard? They're like well you just pop that baby out the sunroof. It's like yeah of a car

that doesn't have a sunroof. Yeah I've got to cut in the sunroof to get the baby out. Well that's just the thing isn't it? I think there's a weird stigma to it as well and Yeah, I've got to cut in a sunroof to get the baby out. Well, that's the thing, isn't it? I think there's a weird stigma to it as well. And there's also like a weird like showing off thing of like, you know, when you give birth naturally and I hit no birth and it was the most magical experience. And I felt one with my body and nature and I'm like, all right, okay, well, fair enough if you like that. But no, because I really don't ever have a painkiller ever again.

If you really want to experience nature. There's drugs for a reason. Yeah, exactly. Also, I have given birth to zero children at that point, and this doctor had done it, I mean, 50 times that day. So I trust him more than I trust me. And so many things can go wrong. Honestly, if you ask doctors, I think it's something like 90%

of doctors and their partners have c-sections because they know all the things that can go wrong from a natural birth, you know. And when I heard that, that's when I thought I was gonna do. Yeah. Also, as well, I do think if you are busy, and I don't know if this is, I'm gonna get cancelled for this, but when you are busy, it's quite nice to go, 13th is coming out. So if we get your mum on the 14th, my mum up on the 50, you council work for a week, because you know, especially, you know, if you're trying to work and put in schedule stuff and you're self employed and things like that, if you can manage that, rather

than a baby just coming out in the middle of like a mad work period, it's like... Middle of Edinburgh. In the middle of Edinburgh, exactly, yeah. What would have happened if it had come early during Edinburgh? I wouldn't have done the show, I guess, I don't know. Oh no, I meant C-section wise. I didn't mean Edinburgh wise. Oh, I see.

I mean, they said they didn't know. It was kind of dependent on if there were any doctors available because obviously they have to prioritize emergency C-sections. So if you go into labour, they say that you still can have a C-section, but some people have really quick labors. So I was really terrified that that was going to happen.

Yeah, because if it's a quick one, there's no point cutting you open. You're chasing it out. Yeah, yeah. So it's already half out. Yeah, pulling it back through the other exit. Exactly. It's like a wall. I know, because in my show, I ask women, you know, I talk to them about their birth experience. One woman at my show said she was in labor.

It was one of those two days laborers. And they said, you know what, the baby's in distress. We're going to have to do an emergency C-section. And when they got in there, the baby's head had already started coming out. So they had to pull him back. So we went out the birth canal. Oh, my God. He's inside the birth canal to get him out.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It's a mess. I recommend getting an elective C-section to everyone. I probably won't do it. It's got to be an easier way to have a child, isn't there? To carry it for nine months in a belly. Oh my God.

With all the technology. Is it particularly bad with humans or like, do animals have this? In Sarah Pascoe's book, I remember it said something about because our brains have gotten bigger, our heads have gotten bigger. And so actually, human birth is one of the most difficult ones. Yeah. So the thicker you are, the easier it is to birth animal wise. No, because I think some properly thick people have massive heads.

I don't think it's proportion to the size. Because there were some kids at school that had really big heads. There weren't much going on in there. It's all the casing. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Just sort of hard. My husband has a giant head. My baby has a big head. Honestly, my husband looks like he's wearing a helmet that has his face on it.

His head is so big. Like a fake mask thing. And my son looks exactly like him, yeah. How have the first nine months been then? It's exhausting, isn't it? You see now why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique. Yes. Yes.

That comes up a lot, I think, in the first year when people mentioned that. Now that he's sleeping, he's been sleeping through the night for about three weeks now. Now it feels a little bit more, we feel a bit more human. I think we might have painted a slightly sort of too rosy picture of like drop them off for the mother-in-laws and go on to city breaks because that's sort of like a very fine amount of time when you're in your tour but Baiten you're back in London normally without your parents support network. With no grandparents because my parents live in America and his parents

live in Ireland so. Oh god yeah, it's been full on. And also because you don't know what you're doing, you know, the first one you just, and also I wanna say officially on the record, this is also the last one. I can't imagine doing this again. Really? I don't know how women do it.

I don't know how anyone does it. It's yeah, also because I don't have maternity leave, I went back to work about a week after the baby was born. Yeah, it's so difficult, isn't it? Stuff like that. Yeah, also because I don't have maternity leave, I went back to work about a week after the baby was born. Yeah, it's so difficult, isn't it? Stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. Were you doing standup straight after the baby was born? I think I did stand up maybe three weeks after.

I do a lot of voiceover stuff, so I went in and did a voiceover. Off to the C section as well. My voiceover's very easy. You're just sitting down talking, so it wasn't that bad. Don't say that to the David Attenborough fans. They love it. Because it is really tough. It's quite nice just to hear someone go, do you know what, fuck this. How many do you have? Do you just have one?

No, I've got two. We've got two. And genuinely, I think for Lou, not to speak for her, but she's mentioned it before in books and stuff and on here. They're like, actually, the being pregnant and giving birth part, that is more of an issue, I think, for her, but she's mentioned it before in books and stuff and on here. They're like, actually, the being pregnant and giving birth part, that is more of an issue, I think, for her and for us than it is having an extra child in the house kind of thing, because it takes such a toll on you physically and mentally and hormones and stuff like that. And it really affects Lou, like when she's, she doesn't enjoy it. Some people love being pregnant and sort of float around and it's like,

they feel like supercharged. But Lou, it didn't do anything for Lou, really. She did not have a good time. The whole show that I'm touring right now is just me saying how much I hate float around and it's like, they feel like supercharged, but Lou, it didn't do anything for Lou really. She did not have a good time. The whole show that I'm touring right now is just me saying how much I hate being pregnant, how much I hated pregnancy. There were all these crazy things that happened,

things you don't even know about. Like I ended up getting carpal tunnel syndrome from pregnancy. So it lasted for maybe like nearly two months. What's carpal tunnel syndrome? Is that in the hands? It's the tendons in your hands. Because basically your hormones are kicked into overdrive

and you've released these hormones that help kind of open your pelvis. They open the ligaments, I guess, in your pelvis. But they're not targeted just to that area. So it affects your ligaments all over your body. So a lot of women get issues with trigger finger carpal tunnel syndrome. Then you have the kid and all your hair falls out. I mean, honestly, I'm just pulling out like, glum sick hair.

Yeah, Lou had that. I've been in a nuclear disaster. Do you have one loose, restless leg syndrome? Yeah, which is a very funny name for a really awful thing. Yeah, I know. It's, oh, right, your legs are moving a bit, whatever. But she's like, all night at night, she has legs just constantly going.

It's sort of like, and it's like, it must be so infuriating, just the whole time. And then you roll over and just see a sort of fat snoring bloke with nothing, nothing happening to him apart from going, oh yeah, another one's coming, yeah. Everyone's slapping on the back, congratulations. All my husband had to do was just his favorite thing ever.

And then he had a kid and I had to do nine months and recover from a C-section. Your publicity for the tour is you pregnant. So when was this taken? I was only just gone five months pregnant, but he was such a big baby, which is another reason I had the C-section. I mean, he's massive now. He's nine months, but he wears two year old's clothing. Is your husband big? Yeah. Honestly, I think it's our fathers.

So, my father's 6'4", and he's really big, and his dad, I think, is 6'4", and he's really big. And when I gave birth, I just looked at that kid, and I was like, I gave birth to my father-in-law. He looks exactly like my husband's dad. That is horrible, though. You don't want that. No one wants that that do they? You always want them to look like a bit like your family.

Yeah, I'm not sure if my husband's dad looks like my baby or if he just looks like babies. It's hard to know. So let me take you through the remaining tour dates. You've got Dubai, well that's tonight. Cork in Ireland, Southampton, Amsterdam, that's tonight. Cork in Ireland, Southampton, Amsterdam. That's exciting. Yeah. And then London, Stratford East early in late show. And Paris.

And Paris. So will you take the baby with you then if you're both there and if your husband's supporting you and you can't drop them a bit out of the way to go back to New York to drop the baby off and then go to Paris? For these dates, no. For these dates, my husband's, he's taking one for the team and staying home. So I think I'm doing them without, I think I'm just doing local openers or no opener. Basically the show in Stratford, I'm filming. That's why there's two that day.

Oh, wicked. Yeah, just get ready for that. Yeah. So that's the problem though, isn't it? When you are going somewhere else in Europe, it's like your husband's lost a day at work, essentially, and they're looking after the kid. And then someone else is coming in that could potentially do better to do the support. So it's a higher risk. Yeah.

A stressful swap for him. We did take the baby on tour in the UK to a couple dates and that was, I don't recommend that because we brought like a pop-up bed for him to sleep in. But in one of the venues, I think it was in Leeds, the lights in the dressing room were on a sensor, so they wouldn't turn off if anyone was moving. So we put the baby in this, and it's covered. It's got a little tent to it, but it's not a blackout tent. And so it was just in the interval,

it was just me and my husband, not speaking, sitting as still as we could, just hoping that the lights could turn on so the baby could go to sleep. Uh-huh. And then also as well, if we ease on doing the opening, you don't really, just before you go on, want to be double. And then also as well, if he's on during the opening, you don't really, just before you go on, wanna be double checking if a baby's asleep

and all right in the dressing room. Yeah. Oh, God. As he rushes off and you rush on, technically the baby's just in a dressing room on his own, so then he has to rush back and stay. Well, luckily we had a little interval in between, so that was okay. But yeah, no.

It would be mad trying to like feed him and shush him. I can hear my husband over the tannoy. Talking about your porn search. With the Stratford one, that is a lovely theatre by the way. It's a beautiful theatre, isn't it? Yeah. That was the first place I died was the foyer of Stratford Theatre Royal East. I've died there as well on a Monday night. It was so difficult that gig.

Why the foyer? Because it was like an open mic gig in the foyer. I don't know if it's still going. But I've done maybe three or four gigs. And when three or four have gone well, you're like, oh, I can do this. And then the utter shock of that first death is awful. That was a tough gig, though, to be fair.

It was. It was basically like cheap booze and, I think, cheap food to try and fill it up on a Monday. And the company was free because we weren't being paid. So they just were chatting and talking when I was on. And you're in front of a glass window as well. So people like walking past on the street. Yeah. And they would give you shit through the window. In like their business clothes who just look like, you know, what you just think, Oh God, I've made the wrong choice in life. Oh God, awful days. the wrong choice in life. Oh God, awful days. But it is a lovely theater.

We went to the pantomime at Christmas. It was great. In my experience, it's always better to do the theater, not to the entrance foyer. Yeah, just to check, you are filming it in the theater, aren't you? Not the foyer. We were gonna do the foyer,

but now I'm starting to rethink things here. It'd be quite exciting though, to film your special in front of a glass window. I suppose it's just like you did in the one show, isn't it? It's not really actually that exciting. This episode is brought to you by New Balance Running. New Balance believes if you run, you're a runner. Whether you're going for your first ever run around the park or going for your personal

best in a marathon. Speed, strength, stamina, whatever goal you're working toward. New Balance has the running shoes, clothes, and accessories to push your run further and help you run your way. Find yours at newbalance.ca slash running. New Balance, run your way. Get to know yourself and your roots better in 2024 with Ancestry DNA. Want to know where your family comes from in northern France? Maybe you'd like to see how your genes influence certain traits like diet, fitness and allergies. There's so much of you and your heritage to discover.

Visit Ancestry.ca and get started with an Ancestry DNA kid today. Did you go down the NCT route trying to get, like, mom and dad friends with kids the same age? Are you going to baby classes? I get the vibe, that's not your thing. No, we didn't do any of that. We just watched a couple of YouTube videos. I spoke to a few friends who were, like,

you forget everything in the NCT class by the time the baby arrives. So just look it up on YouTube. I do regret not, we don't really have any friends that we've made from having a kid. We have some friends who have kids already. But also, those people seem boring. I don't know, a lot of them seemed,

we'd hear them chatting when we go for our hospital visits. And I'm like, I don't want to be, do I want to be friends with this person because their kids are relatively the same age? I'm not sure. I know. Because it's not enough really, is it? It's a bond to go, our children are a bit similar. It's almost like going- Basically, we had sex in the same bit of London at the same time is basically what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's just sort of me going out to somebody who's blonde going, I'm blonde, you're blonde, should we just see if we get on? Yeah. It might work. Yeah. It's difficult because you've got this situation where I suppose you're going to get to the point where your kids become friends and that's when you spend time with parents,

but when you've both got a nine month hold, they're not going to do anything together, are they? They're not going to get anything out of it themselves. Yeah, in a way it's better, isn't it? Because then you can really pick the friends. Whereas how old are your kids? Three and six, mine are. Eight and six. So they're sort of properly making mates. So you just kind of have to hope that they make friends

with kids that have cool parents, I guess. Yeah. You have no control. And if you even try and have control, they look mental. But I do feel like some parents do get a bit involved in like trying to make kids friends with. Oh, like set up play dates. Yeah, like and stuff. Which I sort of get though, because you'd rather your make kids friends with... Oh, like set up play dates? Yeah, like and stuff. Which I sort of get though, because you'd rather your kids be friends with people you

get on with. When I was a kid, if ever you had to hang out with children of your parents' friends, they were the weirdest kids. They were fucking odd. Like the kids that you didn't choose yourself, I never liked those kids. No, if the parents just went around because they got on with the parents, that's normally what was it, it's so awkward.

So fucking awkward, awful. I remember my parents, my mom was friends with this woman and she would go to her house and I'd play with her daughters and they had just like this horrific doll house that they'd made that was, it was like something out of a Tim Burton movie and then they'd handmade all the dolls that went in it. was, it was like something out of a Tim Burton movie. And then they'd handmade all the dolls that went in it. Like, it was terrifying.

Went there all the time, because my mom just liked their mom. Yeah, that's the thing, isn't it? And you haven't got a choice. Which part of America did you grow up in? In Staten Island in New York, which is kind of like the Essex of New York. Is it? Yeah, so you know that show, The Jersey Shore? Yes, yes. So it's, you know,

fake tans and big hair and long. Everybody talks like this. That's a lot of those people were from Staten Island that were on that show. So what are the compare the other bits of New York? Because I always wonder this when I go into cities. Give me the equivalence of the other bits of New York. So Staten Island's Essex. Yeah, I guess sort of the Upper West Side would be like Chelsea maybe. Right. Or West London. Then a lot of Brooklyn has now become very yummy mummy, so maybe that's kind of Walthamstow. Yeah. I'm not sure. I've actually never been to Queens. I don't know what's going on there. Where is Queen? I can't even picture where Queens is.

That's North East, isn't it? It's quite far North East. Is it attached to Brooklyn? I don't know. No, Jersey's Southwest, isn't it? Sort of like if you go from Manhattan. Jersey's just to the never eat sour, to the West. Yeah. To the West, yeah.

It's also, Jersey's very long. So it's- It always goes up, doesn't it? Yeah, because it goes up to where the stadium is, the MetLife. Is that in Jersey? I think so. I don't know. What's the equivalent of Jersey with- Jersey, it can be a where the stadium is to MetLife. Is that in Jersey? I think so. I don't know. What's the equivalent of Jersey with...

Jersey can be a little bit like Staten Island too. So Jersey has many different parts. They also have like, you know, those bros that wear like Oakley sunglasses, but on the back of their head. Oh yeah. They're like tech bros. I always think of them wearing beach attire everywhere. And they live in Jersey as well. They live in Jersey, yeah.

Queens is the other side, so it's like, I don't know anything about Wilsdon or Kilburn, because I live in southeast London. So it's sort of like, I've never been there. Where do you live in London, Janine? Walthamstow. Oh, there we go. Makes sense.

Yeah, makes sense. We thought we were so original when we moved there. We had a little fluffy dog, and now we have a baby, and we just look around, everybody's got these poodle cross dogs and a baby. We had the same buggy as everybody else. The slow train to Hertfordshire basically. We started thinking like we get so much more space we just moved a little bit further out of London. Exactly, everyone slowly creeped further out. You'll be in Hertfordshire having a shit takeaway in five years I guarantee it.

Well yeah yeah I see that in my future. And what does it feel like? Do you see a child as British? It's so weird. It's so weird because I'm American and Andrew's Irish. And I'll be honest with you, my only reference point for British kids is just American horror movies. There's always just a creepy little English kid just creeping around like, hello, mommy. Like, I don't want that. I know.

Because he will have an accent. I know, I know. And then obviously, if your husband's Irish, was it you born in Ireland as well? Yeah, Dublin, yeah. Which, come on, what a cute accent. Great accent. What a cute accent that is.

Would you consider moving back to one of the two? Just so that I enjoy my son's voice more? Yes. Yeah, it's worth it, isn't it? Yeah. We might move maybe to Ireland. It's very hard when you have kids when you don't have any family around. So, yeah, I don't know.

The state scares me because there's just guns everywhere now, more than even when I was living there. I mean, so many people in my family and not even conservative members of my family, liberals, just they all have guns now. Really? Yeah, yeah. And where would you keep a gun? My brother has a, well, first off, I have two brothers. One is like super liberal and he has his gun

in a fingerprint safe. So his fingerprint unlocks the safe above the door to the entranceway of his bedroom. Right. Right. In case someone breaks in. Yeah. My dad has just a bunch of loose handguns in a plastic bag on the floor of his closet. And the only way I know that is because he accidentally drilled, he was hanging a shelf

and accidentally drilled into the water pipe. And so poor Andrew was in there trying to fix it. But this was insane. My dad didn't turn the water off. So Andrew was trying to fix it. But this was insane. My dad didn't turn the water off. So Andrew was trying to fix it while the water was just spraying him. And he was standing there and he's trying to be polite, cause it's his father-in-law.

And he's like, I'm pretty sure we can just turn the water off. And my dad's like, no, no, I tried everything. You just gotta do it this way. Anyway, the only way I found out about the guns is because I was mopping up the water about two hours later and just found them. Oh my God, now.

And then my other brother is a doomsday prepper and he keeps his guns in an underground bunker that he built with some friends he met on the internet in Arizona. Wow. Yeah, now that is amazing. That is three really different approaches to gun control. Exactly.

So if you were in the States, would you have a gun? No. No. I've shot a gun once. My dad took me to a gun range. I shot a gun on Easter Sunday. Grabbed the old bag for life out of the closet. Classic bag full of guns.

So basically, if someone breaks into dad's, he runs to the closet, gets a gun out of the bag, right? Your other brother's got to climb up and get his thumb out, but probably half asleep, naked with a lob on. That's what I'd be like, middle of the night. So you get the thumb out, you get the gun out. Now you're stood there naked on the gun trying to fend her out. And your other brother's got to go down in the basement. No, it's not the basement. He lives in Las Vegas. He's got a drive to Arizona. Oh, he's got a drive to Arizona to access the bunker.

His is for the end of the world. That's for the end of days. And what does he think is going to lead to the end of days? So all these doomsday preppers have all different ideas of what it is that it's going to be. And his is that the power grid goes down. Right. So that we suddenly lose power, internet, running water. Yeah, but that used to happen all the time when I was a kid. You just light a few candles for 45 minutes and you're fine. Right, until it goes back up.

But what if someone, if someone were to attack that, let's say they blow it up beyond repair, like nuke it, the power would be down for months. I mean, you saw with COVID how quickly the supermarkets were empty. Yeah. When that happens, people panic. And so the reason he has all the guns is because he said, it's not your enemy.

You should be scared of it's your neighbor. Oh, God. Because when people are hungry, they become desperate. It's a great line. I'm like the doomsday prepper. Oh my God. But he has got food and water there as well, not just guns. Yeah.

You've never seen someone more vindicated than when COVID happened and people couldn't buy stuff and my brother just opened up his spare room and it was full of like bags of legumes and rice and pasta. And is he a laugh about it? Sounds like you double checking someone that's on a stag do. Yeah, he sounds cool. But he can be really intense about it in some ways. I mean, he came and visited, and we live right behind a fireworks store,

and so they set fireworks off every weekend. And when that happened, he was like, that's a Smith & Wesson 22 gauge. And my husband was like, I'm pretty sure it's just fireworks. And he's like, you think I don't know what a gun sounds like? And we were like, okay, all right, it's a gun.

It's a gun. But also, I think he thinks of it a little bit like the Boy Scouts. He's learning all these skills. You know, he's gonna make a CB radio out of, I don't know, like the underwire of a bra or something. Legend. And there's community and all this stuff.

And so he thinks, you know, if it doesn't happen, at least he's learned new skills and met people. So has he got kids in the family? No, no, no kids, no, no. Yeah, I think I'll take me chances than going in an underground bunker with him. I'd rather be out and about with the neighbors. Do you want to hear something crazy?

So to be in this group, you have to have skills that would help in the apocalypse. So my brother's a nurse, so he can be in the group. But his wife is, she was a Vegas dancer slash real estate agent. So they were like, she doesn't have any skills. So she trained and became a gun instructor. So now her skill is that she can teach people how to shoot.

Wow. I think dancing is a skill. Yeah. Because obviously, right, you're in the bunk car, you've got your guns, you've got your water, you've got a nurse, Saturday night comes around, but it's strictly, it's not on the telly. There is no telly.

Thought you'd know it. She's back in the game. She's out, feathers out, in a little bikini. So you wouldn't have the skills, Janine, or would you? Have you got, how good do you have to be? Can you go like, I can do a bit of DIY, or does it have to be, I am properly certificated up on this? I think it needs to be like healthcare survival skills.

I personally think comedians would do well in the apocalypse. I think it's so bleak. You need something to laugh about. Yeah. Comedy always booms doesn't it when society is in a bad way? At the worst of times. At the worst of times. Why must be quite a big bunk then if there's quite a few of them doing it, this little gang?

Yeah, they bought a farm. So it's a full working farm. Yeah. At the worst of times. Why must be quite a big bunk then if there's quite a few of them doing it, this little gang? Yeah, they bought a farm. So it's a full working farm, yeah. So if you turn up, okay, say this has happened, right? The power's gone down, it's not really kicked off yet. He's there with his wife and all his other crew. You and your husband and the baby arrive. Two comics.

They're not letting you in, are they? Listen, there's this fable, I think it's an ASAP fable that's very big in the Doomsday Prepper community. It's about, I think it's the two mice. So one mouse is really productive in the spring and gathers all the nuts and makes his home really warm and the other mouse just like lays by the river relaxing. And in the winter, the lazy mouse comes and tries to take the things from the mouse that had been really productive. And the moral of the story is like, unless you're ready, you're dead.

So... And does the winter mouse shoot the summer mouse to keep him out of his nut store? Not if he's got a super hot wife on guard. An instructing wife, yeah. God, that is mad. I do think that is a... If all the power goes and the internet goes and

stuff like that. I had no internet for two days. I couldn't exist in the world. So if that happened for like months. Yeah, I just can't be bothered. I just life's difficult enough day to day. I don't want to survive the apocalypse. I just, you know, sometimes you just got to accept what's happening. And if it's the end of the world, it's the end of the world. Yeah, exactly. If I have to switch on and off my internet router, I'm like, ugh, my day's ruined. You know, I don't know where it is. I don't know how to do it.

I'm not living in that world though. No, it's not for me. If your brother said, I want to take my nephew when he's 12 and teach him these skills in the wild, because he'll need them. No guns. No guns. No guns. He can do all the camping stuff and all the fire starting and all that but the gun thing. Yeah, no. And do you think, I mean, I know that your kid's only nine months, you probably haven't come

across many other parents and stuff, but do you think it'll be a quite different upbringing in the UK to, I mean, New York's not a million miles culturally from the UK and London is it, I suppose. I'd like him to have a similar childhood to what I had. You know, I grew up in the most southern part of Staten Island, so it was very far away from Manhattan. So there was, I lived on an island, so at the very tip of Staten Island. So there were no cars down there really, nobody was driving anywhere. So we just rode our bikes all day

and went into the woods and you know. I'd like miles to have a childhood like that with maybe a little bit more culture. Isla Sheppey, move there. I wondered what Rob was looking at, he was Googling islands. No, I was just trying to look at Staten Island and how far down it is,

but it's really far, isn't it, from Manhattan? Yeah, it was like two hours. There's only one train on Staten Island. There's no subway system. It's sort of almost halfway to Philadelphia, really. Like, not that far, but don't want to drag you down. If you get the boat to Staten Island, that's what people, tourists do to look at the Statue of Liberty, isn't it? Right? Yeah, yeah, but that's what you do. You take the train up to the north of Staten Island, the North Shore, and then you get the ferry over. And the ferry's free. Yes, it is.

And the reason it's free is because if it wasn't, no one would go to Staten Island. There's nothing there. And would you go out on nights out in Manhattan when you were a teenager? No, not when I was a teenager. My parents were like crazy strict. And also you couldn't drink until you're 21 in America, can you really?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, everyone does. It's so weird. Everyone does. As soon as you go to college, when you're 18, everybody drinks. No, mostly Manhattan was when you come home for Thanksgiving. The night before Thanksgiving is a really big party night. So kids who'd all come home from college would go out in Manhattan. And then on the ferry home, it was just like, there's a bar on the ferry. So it's like, you're on this little 30 minute yacht ride. Oh, that must be incredible.

Yeah, that was super fun. Not that I'm missing drinking, but that must have been incredible. Just getting pissed on a ferry. That's all it took to take it. But it's a really scenic ferry. Like you get a view of Lower Manhattan, it goes past the Statue of Liberty. It's actually a really nice ride. Especially if you're coming home for Thanksgiving, it's like everyone loves that, you know,

that driving home for Christmas or Thanksgiving. It's sort of like a wholesome feeling. If you're on that ferry of all the people you went to school with and grew up with, getting down to Staten Island must be great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not the people I went to school with, but yeah. Which I never really got with people that like live in London and go back to like

a village in Yorkshire for Christmas. It's all like beautiful. And I'll just get the same commuter train to zone three in London, shuffling off, got the bus and just sat in the house after 40 minutes. I've got to ask about something in your career. You were nominated for the best voice performance by Inside Gamer magazine in 2021. Oh, yeah, yeah.

What does that mean? Are you a big gamer? No, not at all. I just saw it on your website. I was like, what is that? It's like, what did you do? You won so many things in 2019. In 2019, it was a good year.

It must have been a nightmare. Basically the new act that came through on the BBC New Comedy Award, Amuse Moose, 99 Club, Laughing Horse, New Act of the Year. That's basically like doing the treble, the Amuse Moose, the BBC, and the Laughing Horse. And then COVID strikes, and you can't kind of be a comedian off the back of that.

You sound like my therapist. Yeah. How does that make you feel? But I remember when people won all those awards, that's kind of when you get all the paid gigs and all that kind of stuff. That wasn't even the question. The question was about best voice performance

at Inside Gamer magazine. We'll get to that. Is that a fair description of how that happened then? Did COVID just strike at the wrong time? Yeah, yeah. I think the first competition that I won in 2019, because I was just doing open mics, I was basically doing open mics until that first Edinburgh in 2019 when I got the newcomer nomination. But the first time that I won one

of those awards, I got an email the next day and someone was like, do you want to come and do our gig for 75 quid? And I was like, I can make 75 quid doing stand up comedy. You know, it was the first time because if people don't know, you have to, when you're doing open mics, you have to not only do you not get paid, but you have to drag a friend along who's going to buy drinks at the bar. And they have to sit there for mad and three hours and watch people try and do comedy that can't do comedy. Or, you know, so that was amazing. I thought I'd made

it. And yeah, then less than a year after that Edinburgh, yeah, COVID happened. And that was the end of that. God. Then I started doing Zoom gigs, which were so fun. Did you like them? No. They were horrible things. Where now I go and do a circuit gig for no money to try out a new idea, like, or an open mic gig. And like, that's a fun afternoon evening for me. Go out, try a few things, come back, don't get paid. However, if I said, do you want to go on Zoom? And no, no, no, that's not fun.

Unless there's money. Just criticize someone's exercise bike in the back of their shot. That's how I'd panic and just kind of take the piss out of someone's sitting room. Yeah, exactly. Watching someone making a risotto in their kitchen while you're in comedy. Right, should we do the final question? Oh yeah, we always finish on the final question, which is the same question, which is, is there one thing about your husband as a parent that you're just in awe of, you're so impressed with that something parenting-wise, you think,

I just couldn't do that. And on the other side of the coin, is there something he does that you haven't brought up with him, but were he to listen to this, it's a way to communicate to him that that really does your head in about his parenting. Well, we do couples therapy.

So if there was something I hadn't brought up to him, I couldn't think of it. How long have you been do couple therapy for? It's great, I love it. Do you do it all the time or is it just like- Once a week. We've taken a break now because we were touring so much. Well, from therapy or from each other?

Therapy. And actually, I think our therapist misses us, which is really nice. It's so sweet, yeah. Yeah, we've been going since the pandemic. Right, okay. Because no matter how much you love someone, you shouldn't spend 24 hours a day together.

That was rough. So who brings up the couple's therapy? Is it a joint decision or is there one that goes, I think we would benefit from this? I brought it up, which doesn't, of course, doesn't go well. And then we went and saw this therapist in person, who's not our therapist now. And I loved her, but all she did was just take my side with everything.

She was so nice. So obviously he felt very cornered every time we went in there. And after a while we're like, oh yeah, we are just paying a stranger 70 quid to listen to us argue for an hour. I think I wanna be a therapist. So now we see this new therapist on Zoom.

We've only had Zoom sessions with her, which is weird. And yeah, I imagine that we'll meet her in person one day. The woman who answers the door will be like, Linda, Linda's been dead for 30 years. And we'll be like, ah. Yeah, it's great. And she's really good at helping us say things to each other. Cause obviously, you know,

in a relationship resentment can really build. And especially with parenting, I found that I always think I'm doing more work than he is. And he always thinks he's doing more work than I am. Yeah. And so it's really good to have it be contained. So once a week for an hour, we're just going to get stuff off our chest, figure out,

Oh, what was it that was actually, you were actually trying to say when you said that thing that I took as an insult, you know? And so it's really nice. I think people think couple therapies only for when you're having like big problems, but it's very good for us just as kind of maintenance. Yeah, it's sort of a bit of a stigma attached to it,

isn't it? But I think if it's helped, it's only, but anything, if something, you know, makes it smoother and better. So was there something that you brought up that would answer this question normally if you weren't having the therapy? Okay, well I haven't brought this up but it's hard for me to bring it up because I don't really cook. So Andrew does the lion's share of cooking. I try and cook and I don't know if you can see I've grated my thumb off. I tried to grate

cheese the other day and just completely skinned myself. I'm really bad at it. But when Andrew cooks, he will just leave the flames on hours after the meal has finished. Or he leaves the oven on. Yeah. And I'm like, do we need the hob on right now? Or can I turn that off? Also, that's a passive aggressive way to say it, because you don't need

the hob on right now. If there's not something on above it, no one's going. Are you feeling particularly chilly just right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think we won't have enough for gas? I thought let's throw a couple more quid at it. There's no way to arse though, that sounding passive aggressive.

Or sounding ungrateful that he cooked dinner. Yeah, I suppose you could just turn it off silently. You could just, do you need to bring it up that you're turning it off. You know I don't need to bring it up, but I'm like don't leave it on. What if I'm not here? I can't just be in charge of turning the oven off. I think some of them make a lot of money if they invented, you know the way that the refrigerator beeps if you keep the door open? Right. If somebody invented a sensor that could sense that there was no pot on top of the open play.

Oh yeah, that's a good idea, that. Can I just say copyrighted? Yeah, that's recorded. That's how I heard it. Absolutely solid as a rock, that. Enjoy your fortune. Yeah, this is June the 12th, 2024. That's when that idea has been tabled.

And can I say a nice thing? Yeah, of course you can, yeah. He's endlessly patient. So I can be, so let's go, we gotta get this done, we gotta go, and he's just very calm and very patient with our son and very loving. And I feel like I'm in a constant mode of, we only have one hour, I gotta get to work,

I gotta do this. And basically what I'm saying is I mode of we only have one hour, I gotta get to work, I gotta do this. And basically what I'm saying is I think he's an amazing mom and I think I'm an okay dad. Oh. Oh. That is the perfect ending. Thank you so much and good luck with your tour. Thanks guys.

We've got Dublin, Paris, Cork, Southampton, Amsterdam, but then the big ones for recording. Yes. Stratford East, Theatre Royal in London, early show. What time's the early show? 5 p.m. is the early show, and it's about an hour and 20 minutes. So if you're coming from just outside of London,

you'll be able to get the train home. Lovely. Be embedded a reasonable hour. Thank you very much, Janine. Thanks guys, thanks so much. Janine Haroni, Haruni, Haroni,oni Aroni it's good when you say rhymes with because it means you remember it forever Yeah, well, then I said Jareen rather and Janine. Yeah. Yeah, but there we go. We'll be keeping that in fuck Janine Haroni Haroni not baloney. Yeah, that was a lot of doomsday stuff and guns

I know but it's fucking fascinating stuff like that. I felt a bit like, am I talking too much about my brother being a Doomsday guy? But really, things like that are fascinating. Especially me and you are so obsessed with New York and America from films and all that. I know, I know. We're just like, what's Brooklyn like? A pathetic little English nerd. And she's like, oh, it's like, OK.

It's like, I don't know, I've never been. Talk to me about the ferry that goes past the Statue of Liberty. And you can have a drink on it. Oh, can you imagine it? Go in two pints of Miller Lite, please. And they give you a fucking pint of lager. And you look at the Statue of Liberty, and you go, this is living. Exactly. Right. I'll see you on Tuesday, Josh. But Statue of Libby and you go, this is living.

Exactly. Right. I'll see you on Tuesday, Josh, but make sure you go and see Janine Harouni in Stratford and on YouTube in a few weeks and buy a new hob. All right. Bye. Bye.