Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP54: Jeff Innocent

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Jeff Innnocent. You can get tickets for Jeff's 'Smart Casual' tour HERE Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Rex, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett! And can you say Josh Whiddicam? Josh Whiddicam! Well done! That was superb! Oh you'll like this Rob. Yeah. This is Rex, my two-year-old,

introducing Rob and Josh. He is little brother to Edie who is six. We live in Beckenham. Beckenham? That is down the road. Down the road. And mum? Well close. Liz, so the mum, grew up in Devon and went to school in Exeter. Oh, look at this. It's a Rob and Josh absolute combo. And dad, Andy, did the comedy circuit with Rob many years ago. What's her surname?

Andy Davies. Andy Davies. I wonder why he didn't do it with me? So we have something in common with both of you besides parenting. We love the show it always brings a smile to our faces Liz, Andy, Edie and Rex. Oh I know Andy Davies that's her dad. Yeah. You must have done in the gigs of Andy Davies. You're down at the Lions Den he used to do. I didn't do the Lions Den Rob. Thank you for listening Andy. Yeah it was funny bloke. I didn't do the lion's den, Rob. Thank you for listening, Andy. Yeah, it was funny bloke. You don't do it anymore.

No, Andy, that's not Andy messaging, is it? That's his wife. Oh, his wife was messaging in. That's his wife messaging in, and it's his daughter. But that was his daughter, right. I was gonna say, that's like, fucking hell, you must have had a kid at about six, if that's his daughter. No, no, no, no, no.

That's his daughter who's got a kid now. Fucking hell. Oh, Randy Andy, you weren't messing about. Oh, lovely bit of business that, isn't it? There you go. Still tired? No, I've just got confused because Andy Davis was also the name of the producer guy

that used to go on Jonathan Ross's TV chat show and sit next to him. Oh yeah, I remember that weird bit. That was odd, wasn't it? Yeah, so there's loads of these, on his CV, Andy Davis, all these gigs he's Yeah, so there's loads of these, on his CV Andy Davis, like all these gigs he's done, or like, he's done a couple of Andy Burr shows

and a few YouTube videos. And then it goes down to like, Friday night with Jonathan Ross. And I was like, it wasn't Jonathan Ross with Gary Lineker, Richard and Judy and Ozzy Osbourne. I was like, oh no, that's the other Andy Davis. That's a good selection of bookings, isn't it? It's a right old mad time,

the first series of Jonathan Ross? So that producer, he'd like... I'd totally forgotten that happened. He'd like, just come on for a bit at the start and have a chat. Yeah, it's because it used to be on Jonathan Ross's Radio 2 show. First episode of the first series of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross was John Lydon, Tamsin Althwaite, Neil Hannan. I'm gonna say it. Yeah.

Not that strong. Well, I tell you what, don't you worry, mate. It must have been a hit, because the next week... I love Tamsin Althwaite. Next week, Richard Harris, Kim Cattrall, Elton John, we're just warming up. Fuckin' hell! How about this for a line up? George Foreman, Ronnie Ancona, Bjork, Paul McCartney.

Fuck me! And no offence to Ronnie Ancona, but she must have been sat there going, Fuck me! How has this happened? Bjorkcona, but she must have been sat there going, Fuck me! How has this happened? Bjork Bacardi, former... Bloody hell. It dropped off slightly when it was Barbara Windsor, Mark Lamar and Samantha Mumba. Then it was Ronan Keaton, David Blaine and Ronnie Wood.

Jesus Christ! Wow. Mental. It's so funny reading old lineups like that. God. I wonder what that... That is mad, isn't it? Hugh Jackman, Marianne Faithfull, Leslie Phillips. Leslie... Oh my... The what? The carry on bloke? Cliff Richard, Carol Smiley, Elvis Costello. That's a bad week. That is a weak week. Dale Winton, Phil Jupiter, Tom Jones, Red Hot Chili Peppers. I don't know why I'm finding this so funny.

It's just madness. What year would this have been? 2002? 2002, that was. 2002. Bloody hell. Crack me out that dude. I used to love that show, still do, but what I mean is like it was when everyone watched the same things do you know what I mean? We would have been teenagers watching that with me it was like 22 years ago. Yeah I'd have been 19 yeah. Exactly you're like that but when you're 15, 16, tell you so important to you when you can't go out. You're like fucking hell Cliff Richard

and Neil Hannan, I'll watch this. It just speaks to me. This is youth TV, it's best. I'm not missing Dale Winton and Phil Jupiter's on the same bill, not on a Friday night, not me. Anyway, do you want a couple of correspondence bits before we bring in our guest? Yeah, all right, and then one more lineup. Okay, I'm running out of lineups.

Here's a boomer. Hi, Rob and Josh, please keep me anonymous, not that my parents listen, but I still feel ashamed of what I did. Is it Trevor? When I was around 10, I stole about 15 pounds from a friend's bedroom. I still feel terrible about it to this day,

but in my defense, she was showing off a lot and it was 1990, so that was a lot of money to a 10 year old. Yeah. As punishment, my dad decided that a prison simulation would be suitable to teach me a lesson. What? He made me clear out my entire bedroom of everything. Then I had to stay in there for about four days, I think.

I had all my meals there and I was only allowed out to go to the toilet. It was a hot summer too, as I remember watching my dad mow the grass and my brother playing outside. I do think this was probably a bit of a harsh punishment for a 10 year old. Have we had this one before or is it a similar? I don't remember this. I feel like we had that one before or it's someone else got the same treatment, but it was like in the 80s and 90s you pretended to be a child as a prisoner. I can't remember. I remember watching him mow the grass. I've just seen something about simulation theory. Are you aware of this?

No, what's that? So it's basically the idea that, you know how advanced everything's getting? Yeah. Yeah. And so as things just get more and more advanced, eventually you're going to be able to go into a simulator that's exactly like real life. Yeah. Or like living an existence. Yeah. That will feel so real that it feels real. Yeah. And that is so likely to happen that that means the odds are you are currently living in a simulation. And what you're experiencing now is a simulation because the chances are that we're going to get to such a point of advancement that everyone is living in a simulation and the chances are that we're going to get to such a point of advancement

that everyone is living in a simulation and the odds are that this is a simulation. Right, okay. Well, and then we don't even realise it is because it's such a good simulation. Yeah, because it's such a good simulation. Okay, so in my head, someone says things, well, if you lived every day over and over again and you could choose how your life went for infinity. And you go, Oh, I'm going to be like a millionaire and have a yacht and do this and do that. Eventually it would go on so long. You'd end up picking the same life as you've got now. You what? I don't really understand it. Write in if you understand

that. I don't get it. I'm trying to find more lineups with Jonathan Ross. Go on, hit me with one. I'm struggling now, I'm back to 2011. They'll be quite strong by then, right? Because I think it's less nostalgia driven. Yeah. There was Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Hugh Bonneville, Jack White or the Arctic Monkeys. It's a great week, isn't it? It's quite a random one.

That is a good week. We'll have to try and find some older ones, but I can't find it. I haven't got the list of guests on there. Sad times. Right, let's do one more correspondence and we'll get our guests in. Okay, one more correspondence. Okay, we've got some funny things

your kids have said here, Josh. Okay, go on. Keir Ora, Rob and Josh, which must be New Zealand for something. New Zealand? Because Charlie from Wellington, New Zealand. One time my three-year-old was explaining to me how his penis sometimes gets stuck to his skin and he has to unstick it before peeing.

I feel as she responded, I don't understand that feeling because I don't have a penis. Well he loved this phrase and started repeating it in all sorts of non penis related contexts. E.g. when I was trying to get his remote-controlled car working, mama you don't understand because you don't have a penis. Oh God. Needless to say, I was terrified he would use his new favorite phrase within earshot of strangers. Thankfully this has not happened yet.

Thanks for all the laughs. Charlie into Wellington, New Zealand. They are weird things, little penises, aren't they? Little penises, not just little ones. Are you pleased that you've dodged the small penis? I don't mean in your life. Well, I'd say it's average size, but it's pathetic when not non-erect. Yeah. I flaccid, my penis is an absolute disgrace.

That wasn't what I meant, by the way. I hate having to shower in public because it is, I'd say at full mast, no problems with it whatsoever. I'd say that'd be worse. I'd rather- If you were showering in public with an erection. I think I'd rather do pornography than shower of a flaccid penis in a public shower Do you often shower in public? No

At the gym you get all like old men with a horrible cocks flapping about you should be ashamed of your bodies Let's not just be walking around naked. You know, I'm not ashamed of my body We should be more body shameless, but not ashamed our body, but I just don't think you need to see it. Oh, you shouldn't be wrong. I've seen it. We should do more body shaming than this. I'm not ashamed of my body, but it's just like, I think dicks are intriguing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I think it's because you don't see them very often. If you had a dick on your nose instead of a nose,

if you dicks were on your nose, you'd be obsessed with looking at all the different types, wouldn't you? Do you think they're more different? There's more different types of dicks than noses? Yeah, I'd say dicks are the most random and different body parts out of all the body parts. More so than nipples, hands, feet. Yeah, dicks are all mental. You ain't seen enough dicks, mate. No, wow. And vaginas are different. They're all different.

I'd be gutted if this was my episode and this is my intro, but there we go. Jeff Innocent's the man who's gonna have to put up with that. Right, guest this week, Jeff Innocent, who's a legend of the comedy circuit, Josh. It feels like, no offence, Jeff, because he's a bit older and I think he's a wearer there, he's 60, late 60s. He's 69.

It felt like he'd been doing comedy for 40 years when I started 15 years ago. He did, yeah. He was a legend of the circuit and he's always been on the circuit. He's always smashed gigs and done well, but he's recently got on Instagram and his clips are going mad and he's sold out a tour. He's put on more dates and stuff. So he's a super funny comic.

Google image him. You will probably recognise him from an Instagram clip. Do you know what I mean? Or you'll have seen him at a club over the years, especially in London. Yeah. But also more importantly, very interesting, four children. One of his children he didn't know he had

and got reunited with them on MySpace. He also talks about his son being gay and how he has dads and sons coming to his shows where the son's gay and because they're connecting with his material, talking about that. So loads going on with his kids and is a super funny comedian. So here's Jeff Innocent.

Jeff Innocent, welcome to the show. We're very excited about this one. Yeah, we've been looking forward to this. Me and Josh are big fans. It's a pleasure. I'm so happy to see how many tickets you're selling. How well you're doing because you've been a legend of the comedy circuit for years. And I think if you talk about comics long enough, everyone will be always go, how come Jeff Inneson never toured and got, you know, but now you're through Instagram,

you found your audience, you're doing these massive tours that are selling out and it's well deserved. So I'm buzzing for you, you must be loving it. I am loving it. It was unexpected as well. Not something I would have been able to do myself. So I've had outside help from my sidekick, Sam Bicconi. I didn't even know what Instagram was actually. In fact, when I first had a viral video, somebody said to me, this has gone viral and I thought that meant I've been cancelled or something. Honestly, because it doesn't sound good, does it?

No. You're not used to the language of technology. Yeah, he showed me what that meant, that it was over a million or something. So it's been a bit of a learning curve for me, but I'm absolutely overjoyed by the whole thing after doing comedy for so long. How long have you been doing it, Geoff?

Because you were a legend of the circuit when I started, and I feel like I'm getting on now with it. Well, I've been going for about 27 or 28 years. Yeah. Bloody hell. However, I didn't start until I was 41. So it's not as if I'd been doing it all my life. I did lots of things before that. Oh really? I didn't know that. Yeah, so it's just, it's happened late in life, late in my comedy career. And it's been fantastic. And I really enjoyed it, being able to be on stage for an hour with audiences that have come to see you. I mean, you two guys have been down that road already before me.

And it's a real joy that when people come and they've come to see you and they wait outside for you as well. But not in the old way when people used to wait outside for me. Our first impression of you, Jeff, because obviously you're a very physical imposing, you know, you look like a tough guy. If someone see you in the street. I remember when I was at Open Spot, you'd teach me self-defense moves in the dressing room before gigs.

I don't know if... Oh no, it's so funny. I was just setting Sam up for me. I'm around his house at the moment because I don't even know how to set this up. We were just looking at a picture of John Robbins, who I'm sure you know. I told him a story that once I was coming up for grading with my martial arts and I was working with Stuart Goldsmith and I was using him as a crash test dummy. I'd moved because I had a grading and some months after that I walked into a green room and saw who I thought was Stuart Goldsmith

and started throwing him to the ground and wrestling. And it was actually John Robbins. I didn't know. I threw him around a bit. I thought, why is he acting so weird? We had fun with this last time. And he sat down and started talking. I looked at him and in my head I thought, shit,

it's not, it's not Gosselin, is it? Well, those nerdy white guy comics all look the same. They all look the same, those skinny middle class white guys. But I've stopped doing, I still do a little bit of boxing. I don't want anyone out there thinking because I've stopped doing martial arts. They can say, here it is. So I still do a little bit of boxing, but I've stopped the crowd Megara is doing because there's a lot of grappling, a lot of grappling involved and when your joints are going and your knees

are going, that's very difficult. So how old are you now, Geoff, do you mind me asking? Well, 69 in February, I'm 68. 69, wow. Yeah. And so your first tour was at the age of 68. And through Instagram as well. You wait till you get on Facebook, you're going to clean up if you're doing it on Instagram.

What are your audiences like? Are they like young Instagram people or are they like... Not really. I mean, there are one or two of those, but I seem to have got the audience I deserve really. I think you get the audience that your material attracts. I'm getting people in their 20s and people in their 70s, but I think that the bulk of them are 30 to 60 in the middle there and there. Beautifully, there all seem to be people from my routines. Oh, that's what you talk about. Yeah. So when I meet them afterwards, they go out to do selfies and that, as you know, that's

what they do now and that's part of the job. They're keen to tell me their stories, so it can take a lot. The selfie period takes longer than the show. I mean, it's double. The show's only an hour. It takes two hours. But you may not know how familiar I am with my material, but it's about, you know, I have a black wife, I have a gay son, I have a Jewish dad, and all of these people are turning up. You know, I'm having these black women turn up introducing me to their white husband as if it's some sort of cult that I've been doing. I'm having dads with their gay sons coming along. I mean, this is beautiful, man.

They're coming along to see me. You know, I talk about having a gay son or what that's like. It's beautiful. Oh, that's amazing. Your act is, I'd say, sort of a nice combo of Mickey Flanagan and Sean Lock, where that's sort of every man from the East End, but with that sort of quirkier edge. That's a lovely combination. That's very complimentary.

But maybe you're right. Yeah, yeah, maybe. And I still think that's one of the best. Sorry, Jeff, go on. No, you're going to say one of the best. I'm not going to let you knock the staff down. Let's cut it there, Rob. He's interrupted at that point.

Well, it does actually link it to the podcast, but one of the best jokes that just always sticks to me is when you talk about having your black wife in the joke from Sierra Leone and then people think you look racist and they come up to you and go, oh, you're still living in Cannontown. You must have been one of the only white faces left in East London. And you go in East London, I'm one of the only white faces in my own fucking house because of you kids are mixed and it's such a great line. I mean, what I like about those lines, they're lines that you don't write, aren't they? You know those lines that just come to you naturally

and you think this is the sort of thing I'd say in conversation. And when you manage to capture those in your comedy, that's a great thing, isn't it? Because you think, well, this is me, this really is me. And it's not me, the written me, it's the natural me. And those big lines are all, I think for me anyway, are all things that I would just say in a conversation with friends or whatever. And I'm very, it's taken me years to capture that, I think, really. Do you enjoy that? Like, because obviously, when you go on, people have certain expectations. and part of the fun of watching you is obviously you subvert those expectations so much.

Do you really enjoy that? That must have been quite difficult to get the handle of, right? Initially. Very much. In some ways, however, the people that are coming to see me already know that now, of course. So, yeah, yeah. And I imagine that joy has diminished slightly. I mean, when I walk into clubs and they don't know who I am, I enjoy that joy is diminished slightly. I mean, it's when I walk into clubs and they don't know who I am, I enjoy that unexpected. But yeah, of course, it's a gift really, isn't it? To look a certain way and be another way.

It's a great comedian. Well, that's the thing I have. People don't realize I'm such an alpha when they meet. Yeah. Yeah. But you're doing martial arts. Let's ask you about your kids, Jeff. How many kids have you got? OK, right. I've got four children.

Yeah. Three different mums. Yeah. And three different moments in history. Let's put it that way. So they're not from the same conventional nuclear family set up. In fact, one of them was a turn up on the internet one, which you hear about happening to people. And it happened to me. Oh, you didn't know about at all?

I didn't know she existed. Wow. That was quite a few years ago now. I can't remember how long. Well, I'll tell you, what was before Facebook? Friends Reunited. MySpace, yeah. So my daughter, who I did bring up,

she got in touch with me and said that a girl has got in touch with her on MySpace and said that I think your dad is my dad. Oh, God. Oh, get out. Yeah. So that's all worked out beautifully. So I met her and what happened was her mom, it was a fairly casual relationship, but her mom didn't know my surname. She didn't know where I lived, but she knew my daughter's name because I'd taken my daughter there a couple of times.

So she knew my daughter's name. My daughter's name is quite unusual. So the girl has gone onto my space, looked for the name, looked that this girl was Miss Grace like her and just thought, okay, maybe this is the same one. And it was. Wow. She's now got a son and I'm a granddad. That's incredible.

Yeah, it is incredible. And what was that first meeting like? That must have been... I put it off for a while. I think I was in denial. The whole thing was not to take on board. So I think I kept putting it off and hoping that my daughter would develop a relationship with her and then eventually I would see her.

But in the end, we arranged to meet. You know what she said? Oh, it still hurts me now. When I met her, she said, I used to come to London and every time I did, I used to think, I wonder if I just walked past my dad. Oh my God. Oh, wow. No, no, even now, even telling you that.

Yeah, yeah. So I'm so happy to have met her and developed a relationship with her over the last few years. Yeah, it's been fantastic. So that's one of them. So how old are your kids now then? What you got your full? Well, my daughter is 40.

The one who turned up is 38. And I've got a son who's in his mid-30s and I've got a son who I live with. I'm at home now as a single parent living with a 19 year old. So the odd couple, it's fantastic. You see, because of the nature of my relationships being sort of unconventional, I've never actually lived with any teenage children before.

Oh really? So this is the first time I've had to live with all that teenage. And you're 69. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the other thing. When I had him, I was that. Teenage. And you're 69. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the other thing.

When I had him, I was 50. And it felt pretty cool. You know, I thought, well, look at me, yeah. 50 year old, just having a kid. But now that he's 19 and I'm 69, it doesn't feel so cool. How is it then, having a 19 year old that I imagine is going out, coming in late,

and you know, when you're 69, and you're touring and stuff, but you want a quiet life now, do you, Geoff, or you still? I think I'm the rock and roll one. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I'm the one he said, oh, haven't you got your key or what time do you call this? Or I'm the one that's the rock and roll one, really.

Because kids have got recently, certainly teenagers in the early 20s have got a lot more kind of into health and fitness and all that kind of stuff as to what we were like. Have you seen the difference in those times by having kids over kind of different generations like that? Well, certainly not with them, but maybe with me. I mean, I used to be, you know, I used to also be a DJ and spend weekends being out 24-7. And so I think the change has been more with me in that the type of dad I was when I was younger is very different to the type of dad I am now that I'm in my 60s. But in my 20s, having a couple of children, I was busy doing other things as well.

Busy living a life, being a DJ. Even though I had children and I didn't neglect them, you've always got something else that you're doing. Maybe you, I don't know if you've been a younger dad, but even though you love them and you're devoted to them, there's always something else you're going to, isn't there? Well, I suppose I was 29 when I had my first, but you was 19, were you? No, no, I wasn't 19.

I was in my mid-twenties. Oh, mid-twenties. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when I had my first children. But I was still busy. And I think the difference is when I was younger and they go, oh, daddy, can you come and play? I go, yeah, in a minute, in a minute. Whereas when I had my son at 50, I realized this was a second chance or another chance to do the right thing, maybe.

Yeah. Now with him when he was a child, can you come and do this, daddy? Yes, every time. So much more devoted hands-on and spent more time with him when he was a child, can you come and do this study? Yes, every time. So much more devoted hands on and spent more time with him. But at the same time, not as much energy or not as connected culturally. So I don't play football with him or I don't play computer games. So it's a trade off all the time, I think. But then you're the king of Instagram.

So he must be impressed. You know, I don't know if he is or not. I don't. He seems underwhelmed by the whole thing. However, he's at Performing Arts College, okay. So on a couple of occasions when people have come back from the college as mates, they've been all over me. Oh really? They've seen me on Instagram.

So I don't get that sense from him that he's impressed, but his friends seem to be. In fact, one of his friends came around with his girlfriend and she was in the kitchen. I was in there with my underpants and crocs at the scene and she went, Oh my God, I've just realized who you are. I must have a selfie. So you can never escape the selfies, even in the selfie you're having. But we've got a great relationship and he's a great kid and I enjoy being a single dad.

Do you run your Instagram then? Have you got someone that's running it for you? I've got somebody, I would never know how to do that in a million years. Robbie, you had to go to a different house to make a Zoom call. What it is, is during lockdown, when I was doing all the Zoom stuff, every time it never lasted the whole hour for some reason. So I thought, I don't want to risk it. So I had to come around to Sam's house, who does my Instagram, to do this. Because my house would be all rare, modernist paintings on the wall and interesting books behind me, wouldn't it?

And you'd be in your pants and crocs. In your toes. So have you even got Instagram on your phone? It's on my phone, yeah, but I don't really look at it very much. That's incredible. What a thing to happen. Like you're just not even up. So you're just like, do whatever you want with these clips.

And well, it's not exactly that, is it? I mean, the clips are not random or arbitrary, are they? Yeah. But I just said, look, you do whatever you think. In fact, at every turn, he said to me, oh, if we do this, this will happen. I went, I don't think so. We can do a tour and we'll set it out.

I go, yeah, yeah, if you say so. So every turn, I've doubted it. You're on the second leg now of the tour, aren't you? Let's have a look at these dates. Yeah, we are. Do the Steve Wright thing. I love it. Wait, Rob, you ask another question, I'll get the tour dates up.

Okay, that's quite a difficult thing to do because if we're getting something juicy, then you're going to start shouting Tamworth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. You'll say, so what was it like when your son came out? And I'll say, I've got the tour dates. Oh, okay. I must say, if I had to come out, he's never come out.

Let's do this then and do the tour in a second. Right, your son is gay, but he's never actually come out to you. Is that correct? No, no, no, because there's been come out. Let's do this then and do the tour in a second. Right. Your son is gay, but he's never actually come out to you. Is that correct? No, no, no, because there's been no need. He was one of those kids who was gay and being naked. Just completely obvious from the start. I mean, I do a whole big routine about about him changing his mind and coming in.

That would be the shock for us. And so it's never been discussed? Well, this is a kid who I wouldn't say that when he was a baby, you could tell, but as soon as I started taking him to nursery, he was always looking for an alternative to that kind of masculine image. Although I didn't know what that was then, but it turned out that obviously, that's how he's always been sort of openly gay and not traditionally masculine.

I was going to say, so that must be lovely for you to see other dads and their sons coming to your shows, because it feels like you're very open-minded and it's not been any issue for you, but for some people it is an issue for the person who's coming out or the parent. I think it is. And even though I'm not on a crusade, but it's nice to think that your comedy, what does Trevor Griffiths call it, changes the situation. You know, Trevor Griffiths wrote that play, Comedians, and his ideology is spoken through the character Eddie Walters, who's the teacher in this night school of stand-up comedians.

And one of the things he talks about is how comedians, I think it's a proper comedian, a real comedian, pushes through the laughter to change the situation. And even though that's not my intention and I'm not on a crusade, when I realise that the things I talk about and the way in which I talk about them can change the situation, can change the way people think about things, that is very rewarding. I think it's also a testament to you as a parent and to his mum that he was in a situation where he was able to just express himself like that. Do you know what I mean? I think that's a really

good reflection of you guys as parents, right? Thank you very much. Thank you. Although I take it for granted, but you're right. I mean, I might be in the minority with the way I responded to this. And that traditionally people from my age and background would not be embracing that situation. Yeah, and not just your background, you know, like the other end of the social spectrum. Imagine if he'd grown up and, you know, that feels like I'm going to homophobic. Imagine if he'd grown up and named some Tory minister or whatever. But like, do you know what I mean? It feels like such a kind of gift that you can give him that he can just do that. He can come home from school and put girls clothes on and make up and stuff. And in a different era with different parents,

that would just not have been an option. Well, you know, even in this era as well, John. Did you come up against people commenting on him and his behaviour when he was young? Well, I got out with him on a bus one day. There was some local kid on the bus, some like more traditional kid, as we know this way. He went to him, why, you a boy or a girl? And he went, I'm a boy girl. And I thought, yes, that's my son.

As quick as a flash, he had an answer for that. I've never, I mean, I don't know if he, on a personal level, what he's had to face, but he's never come home with any stories about him being abused in any way whatsoever. So I think he's been privileged enough to live in a more modern world than when I was his age. Yeah, definitely, definitely.

He's a huge kid as well, so I think he'd come unstuck. Oh, he's a big lad, is he? Huge, yeah, bigger than me, bigger than me, and taller, bigger, so I think he's fairly safe, you know? I've got the tour dates here, do you want me to, have you got them, Josh? Yeah, I have. So you're back on tour from September.

Yes, I am, yes. When you're in Oxford, Cambridge, which is selling fast, Chelmsford sold out, Bedford, Wrexham, which is the only Welsh state, Hull, York, Otley, Leeds, Tring, Southampton, Luton, Guildford, last few tickets, Liverpool, Manchester, Chorley, Huddersfield, Portsmouth, Brighton, Nottingham, Birmingham, Reading and Cheltenham, last few tickets, Cornwall, that's the key theatre in Cornwall, Belfast, that's the only Northern Ireland state, Dublin for the only Irish state.

Bristol, Swindon, Exeter, Hartford, and then London, Leicester Square Theatre just before Christmas. December the 18th, that's Sellingfast. Well, I think we've sold out Leicester Square Theatre. I sold out. Look at that, you're flying. Yeah, it is.

The old Cornwall-Belfast double. Oh, there's a couple of days in between. Yeah. Yeah. Crafty little devil there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A crafty little double there. And have your kids come to see the show? They do, yeah, actually. All of them are different shows. They all do come, yeah. And they're sort of in the show. Not just my son is in the show, but my other daughter's in the show

in some way. Hey, that's, I don't know if you've ever been in that position, where you're about to embark on a routine about a person that's actually in the audience. Yeah, like the ship and yeah, that's an extra layer, doesn't it? Especially I feel like you really need to have it honed and be on top of it because when you are writing a routine, certain things get stretched in ways that you're maybe not happy with. But you need to stretch it in that way to create the final piece. Oh, yeah, but it might not be as accurate. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, luckily I was able to explain that to her as well.

And she was fine with that. Is it your daughter that you met through MySpace? No, no, it was she's been to the show, but I did do something about her years ago when I did first meet her. But my son's in the show and my eldest daughter, who I've got this routine, she's, she's in the corporate world, which is not something that I was hoping for. I don't have enough money, but in a sense, I'm still a little bit disappointed because that's not what I had in mind. So I did some stuff about that. And then as I was coming into it, I thought, oh, and I was in Hastings, she lives near there. And I said, I remember saying, Oh, God, I'm about to talk about

my daughter, and she's actually in the audience. I'm not really sure how to do this now, but I carried on and it was okay. But yeah, they all come to the comedy. And I think they're all sort of proud. And I think what's happened is, I think they were very pleased about it anyway, because it's probably quite a groovy job for your dad to have. Yeah. Because of this newfound fame, now they go to work and people know who I am in their work. Amazing. Their bosses go, oh, I saw your dad on Telly, or I saw your dad.

So I think it's helped them a bit, up their status somewhat, or maybe it could have had the opposite effect, of course. Yeah, proud and pleased to be associated. It's good. And you're a granddad now, right? Yeah, I'm granddad twice. Twice. And what's that like?

Are you an on-call granddad? Well, I'm not. I think I resisted being called granddad for a while. Did you? I did, because it takes a while to do. I mean, I don't know. You're probably not grandparents because you're too young. But I wasn't ready to be called granddad.

It felt a bit weird. So my daughter would say, so hello to you, granddad. Let him call me Jack. It's okay. So I've had to lean into it a bit. Yeah. So are you granddad or are you grandpops, grand-py? One's grandpa, one's granddad.

How old are they? 10 and two. Are you babysitting them? Because obviously you're a single parent to a teenager that you're living with. It must be hard to manage that and then also help out with the grandkids as well. No, I don't really help out with the grandkids.

I go and visit. I put a day aside that week to go and visit. I did them and I'll go and do that one. And so it's, yeah, I can manage it. It's good and I've really, really embraced it increasingly. And you can buy what's great about being granddad is you can buy your grandchildren clothes that their parents wouldn't necessarily approve of. So I've got my son a little, I've been buying him chavvy tracksuits.

It's really just me to see him. And then I hadidas tracksuit. But I think his mum is probably thinking, no, I'll have to do it for my dad. Well, because you're obviously a working class guy from East London. Now, it feels like especially your eldest in that corporate world. Is it weird seeing you've sort of bred these maybe middle class children? It is weird. And I think that's exactly it. But I mean, my son, he's totally

middle class. My son at home. I mean he's in every way, the way he speaks, the way he cooks, the food he eats. His whole lifestyle is what we would describe as middle class. And I guess it's because, you know, both his parents are graduates or I mean showbiz which can go either way. So yeah, yeah, it is funny actually. But also with him, it's not just the class difference. Historically, we're from very, you know, I mean, I grew up in the 60s. He's got no concept of that.

Yeah. Would you say your life now, taking yourself out of it is quite middle class? Yeah, possibly. Floating around art centers, talking about your kids. It is in some way, I would say. Yeah, I mean, I'm in the type of job, I'm in the arts, if you like. But don't forget, before that, I'd been to university for five years anyway,

and I had a part-time job as a part-time lecturer at University of East London. So there were things before comedy that were pushing me in that direction. What was your first job, Geoff, then? I was a window dresser. Your window dresser? You know what that is? Yeah, yeah. So you do the mannequins in the windows? Yeah, yeah. That's what I did. Yeah. When I left school, I did that for 15 years.

Wow. Pings Road, Carnaby Street. Yeah, it was great. It was like being a show business, actually. Being a Yeah, it was great. It was like being a show business actually. Being a teenage bloke from Newham in Pings Road in the early seventies was just, it was amazing. How did you end up doing that job then? Well, I had a Saturday job in a shop called Mr. Byripe. So I don't know if you would have even heard it. I didn't recognise the name. It was like, quite a famous shop, isn't it?

I was working there on Saturdays and the window dressers used to set up and I thought, whoa, that looks cool. I was a little bit arty at school. So I just left school and became an apprentice window dresser. That's what I did. Oh wow. I did that for 15 years, yeah. Very different from what I do now, but also very different from my sort of physical demeanor and image.

So you've always been a little bit of a fish out of water then in all your jobs, your whole career? Definitely. I mean, I think like lots of us in this job, aren't we? I think almost everyone in this job, the thing that does connect them is being on the outside a little bit. So in every area of my life, even when I was in a gang, there was a skinhead, I was in a gang. What gang was you in? Well, like a local skinhead gang, you know, in East Ham when I was growing up. But then another sort of a gang. So I was in all that kind of stuff.

But I always, when I first did a comedy, I did a joke. I don't think a lot of people go, go, yeah, I was, what was it, in the city firm, you know, West Ham's famous Wigan branch, the ICF. I said, yeah, I was in the ICF. I was a peripheral member though, I used to do the artwork for the flyer. You know, they used to leave a tip in the mouth. That sort of sums up my role in every kind of gang or group of blokes, whoever, you know, the arty one, the one that read. I was always the one that could read, you know.

So are you still in East London now? I am, yeah. I'm still in Newham actually, where I've always the one that could read. So are you still in East London now? I am, yeah. I'm still in Newham actually where I've always lived. How do you feel about having a teenage son growing up in East London? It's a totally different East London now, that's what it was. I mean it is a very different East London now. In fact it's probably more suited to his lifestyle than mine. But when it was changed in his lifetime, I would say that his 20 years is where I've seen the massive change, property development, people moving in who are not from this area,

middle class people moving in, professionals, creatives. Like Josh, that's what Josh did. Like me. Came in, drove with the prices up. I was too late, Rob. The prices were up by the time I got there. I was 10 years too late. Now when we're in school now, you know, instead of like my dad's a builder or my dad works at the docks, it's going to be something different now, isn't it? My dad's in the art.

Works at a tech startup. Yeah. His East End is very different from the East End that I grew up in. And is he studying or is he at work? He's doing a degree in performing arts at the Chickenshed Theatre. So he's singing and dancing. And do you love going to watch that? Well, I haven't. I used to watch him when he was younger, but I haven't been to see anything since he's been at uni. He's one of those kids that used to do that thing every weekend, that kids theatre.

Every Saturday since he was about three, I've been taking him to some kids theatre group, like you take him to football or karate or something. And that's all my Saturday afternoons have been that for the last nearly 20 years, really. And how long have you been a single parent to him? Has it been more recently? Not very long, fairly recent, yeah, there's some recent things. So that's quite a new experience for me. You must almost be like flatmates, right? It must feel like you're... Do you still got authority?

There's been issues around stuff in the fridge and all of that. Has there? Has there? It has been like living in a shed. What's the fridge issues? Oh, the fridge issue is where's my stuff, you know? So I've had some work out an arrangement with him about down right, not exactly this is your shelf, but I've had to say, look, if I put this stuff in here,

that's my stuff, yeah? I want you to know, if you want it, tell me, I'll buy extra. Yeah. But I don't want you to, so we've had, I guess, what shared houses have, those kinds of conversations. Yeah. It's different when you're a flat share,

because you're like, no, you're taking a piss, you've nicked my food, but when it's just suddenly, you'll be like, look, I don't mind you having a bit of chicken or steak as well, but let me know you're having it, because I'm coming home excited about that. After my Cornwall Belfast double. That's the thing.

But he's so middle-class, he won't eat my cooking. Really? My basic kind of cooking. Is that what you get? He's all waltz, he's waltz and ingredients and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stands there, walking stuff up. But I just chuck something under a grill or put it in the microwave.

He leaves me links to what I need to get when I'm shopping. But here's the thing. He never does in his shop. He never he complains about things. I'm thinking, well, why don't you do it? But I guess that's the arrangement, isn't it? We've teenage kids. Yeah. Doesn't do anything. I see you as quite kind of laid back as a parent. You do what you want, you know,

when he was doing his GCSEs or whatever, you like, you've got to get the grades. You're like, what will be, will be. No, I mean, I think to a fault really. I was thinking about that yesterday, actually. I was thinking when I was with his mum and we were both bringing him up, she was the disciplinarian or she was the one

that would sit him down and go through his schoolwork. I've always worked on an osmosis kind of thing that, look, if you're hanging around me for long enough, the things I think and believe will somehow rub off onto you. And I think that's partly a mistake that I think I've never been good at doing the kind of, you know, ground rules and perimeters. I've never been good at that. So in that sense, I've never been a good parent, but I think I'm probably good in another way, in a hip groovy kind of way. So I think you do need sometimes two people to bring both of those things to a child, I have to say. But his mum's already done that. So, but he didn't give me a father's day card. No, and-

He didn't. No, he didn't. You see, here's part of the osmosis thing. I don't do things like that as well. I've never been good with family. I've never been a family-orientated person. And I think it's because I've always been looking to sidestep convention in some ways.

Yeah. You know, I've never been married actually, but I've had children. You know, I'm not really into these conventions. So it's come back on me a little bit. What about birthdays? Would you get people birthday cards? You're a bit more like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, you know, when it's like they get to a certain age

where it's amounts of money, isn't it? Yeah. And actually he came to me the other day and said, they have a voice when they're asking for money. I mean, you got this to come, I guess, haven't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a voice. they're asking for money. I mean, you got this to come, I guess, haven't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a voice, he has a wife saying, dad, about that. How much? You almost give it again, how much? But he's going on holiday, only in this country to visit his friends. So I had to book him up a hotel at his train fizz. And then it was, oh, dad, I'm going to need some spending money. And then it was, I'm also having a tattoo while I'm down there.

I've given up on arguing about tattoos. There's nothing I can do, but it's very expensive. They're very teenagers are very expensive. And I might argue that gay teenagers are even more expensive. When you say given up on tattoos, I'd have thought you'd be quite a tattoo kind of guy. That would strike me as you're saying. Well, no, I've never had any tattoos. I think, you know, when I was younger, tattoos weren't beautification.

They weren't image and beautification as much as the army or the Navy or your football team or the prison you're in. There were some mum and dad stuff. Or swallows or true love in someone's name. Yeah, it was more about association than image or fashion or beauty. So I think my argument with him is quite an old fashioned one is that I don't want you having a tattoo at 16 because, you know, when you're 32, whatever you've got written on you're probably not going to have the same significant. It's like wearing flares for the rest of your life.

That's what I said. I might not look good in the 70s, but... And they might come back around for a couple of years, but they'll be gone again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll be going to sleep up every now and again. Does he have a job, your teenager? Has he got a job or is he just full-time?

No job, that's what I mean. Middle class, relying on his parents. He doesn't pay job or is he just full time? No job, that's what I mean. Middle class relying on his parents. He doesn't pay rent or any board or housekeep. Well, no, I couldn't do that. It's very old fashioned, isn't it? That housekeep. Yeah. I'm going home and having to pay housekeeping each week. That's old fashioned working class idea, isn't it? Yeah, we had to pay housekeep.

We had to get a job and pay housekeep. Did you? Yeah. How much was your housekeep, Rob? We all had jobs from 16, but I don't think we had to pay housekeep until we were 18 and out of education, basically. That sounds right, but I remember going to work straight away. In fact, I remember my mum encouraging me to go to work so that I could bring money into the house.

Yeah. And that's why I'm quite like him not doing all of those things. Yeah. He shouldn't have to have pressure on you at that age to bring money into the house. It's the same with doing performing arts. You know, I don't know what's going to become of that. But when I was 16 at school, I wanted to do acting, you know, and I thought I'd love to be an actor and go to drama school, but it just wasn't on the cards at all.

No. Whereas with him, I thought, yeah, go and do what you want to do, because I couldn't do that. And if we can afford for you to do that, that's fantastic. Even if it amounts to nothing, just go and have those three years of doing what you want to do because I couldn't do that. And if we can afford for you to do that, that's fantastic. Even if it amounts to nothing, just go and have those three years of doing what you want to do because I couldn't do that when I was your age. And part of what's so expensive about that is the living costs if you move away from home or whatever. So having him live with you, stealing your food. Yeah. I mean, the whole thing's changed now, is it? When I was his age, I'd already lived away from home for two years.

A girlfriend lived in a bed seat. Remember those bed seats in shared houses? Yeah. And so who knows how long he's gonna be here forever, I imagine. Can I ask a question about your daughter that you met at an older age? How do you go about building that kind of relationship then?

Because presumably it's different from a lot of people where the dad has made a conscious decision not to be there, so there's no kind of blame attached to it. But that's still a hell of a bridge to build, isn't it? I think it is, but you just go on with it and have as much contact as possible and get to know each other, really. But then she was young then, she was 18 then, but she's older now. So yeah, you just throw yourself into it and have the relationship and get to know each other. And that's what's happened. Yeah, there's no real strategy other than have contact, I think, to make up for lost time. Because I'd fit in clients like if I would sort of bring them into the life, into situations

like with a few people around so it was less pressure because if you go all right let's go for a drink it's quite an intense one-on-one. I think you have to do that one-on-one initially though one of those situations because it's quite a special moment. Yeah of course. Yeah and then we were actually when we did meet my son's mother my the time, I said, I don't know what to do. She said, just do whatever she wants to do. So we met. And then we went out for something sweet. And then she said, I said, what would you like to do? And she went, I'd like you to come around and see my mom. Oh, wow. That was an unexpected thing that I thought

God, I bet your heart fell through the floor at that point. That was quite tough, actually. But I thought I've got to do this. Yeah. Yeah. So how was that first meeting? And just like, hello? Yeah, it was difficult. Hello again. It was difficult.

The thing is, I did that for her, and I have seen her mum on a couple of occasions subsequently. But it's actually about me and her. And now she's got her own child and her own husband. So now it's about that. Really? You've nailed so many different parts of parenting, like you've been through so many different things. When you had a kid at 50, in your head at that point, when you're 48 or whatever, you presumably were at one point thinking, I'm out the woods here with children. I've done all the kind of, you know, waking up in the night. I've done all that.

What was it like going back to that? I found it very difficult, actually. I found it really difficult that first year that most parents find difficult anyway. You're not sleeping in your... I found it very difficult and not enjoyable. Yeah, I did find that tough as an older person actually. Yeah.

What happened is that I'd been with his mum for 15 years. And so I already had a couple of kids anyway from a former relationship. And we weren't planning on having a child. And in fact, she had had, sadly, an ectopic pregnancy at some point. So her chances of having a child had been diminished by 50%. Yeah.

So we weren't planning on it. We weren't not planning on it. It was just so bad. I remember we were out having breakfast in a cafe in Forest Gai. I remember it exactly. And I looked to her and I said, you did something about you. You know, she'd been a bit sick. And I went, and I could tell because I had a wife who'd been pregnant before I could just tell that she was pregnant I went I think you're pregnant and

she popped next door and got a test it proved positive so it was a fantastic joyful thing. Yeah. Hey let's do this, let's go with this. Yeah. But it was tough I have to say it was very tough but I came around to it in the end but it was tough, I have to say. Yeah. It's a labour intensive thing to do. You're 69, you've got your flatmate, but he's 19. He's kind of grown up. You've just kind of broken onto the touring circuit. Are you planning on doing standup forever? Yeah, exactly that. Yeah.

I think during lockdown, when you realise how important it is to you, what it means to you as your whole psyche, your whole psychological background and emotionally. So the idea of not doing it, but I mean, there might be restrictions as I get older and older, but all you've really got to do is stand up, although increasingly sitting down on stores seems to be quite popular these days. Maybe I can extend my career if we can get armchairs and shit onto the stage. It's normally when the stool comes out, they try and get edgy.

I know I am. I love doing stand up and it's, I mean, apart from having wear and tear, as everyone gets when they're older, it's not that difficult to step up on a stage and stand there for 20 minutes or an hour. So I think it's more gonna be about intellectually how I get on with old age rather than physically. Are you already planning your next tour? I've just started writing that show and getting the ideas together

and getting a structure and a plan and thinking about what I want to do with the next show because the next show is going to be a show written for an hour, whereas the show at the moment, of course, is more or less a greatest hits show because we had to seize the moment based on very sudden Instagram popularity. So, I was just talking about it beforehand.

So, working on an idea, putting some things together. So yeah, thinking about the next show now. I mean, there must be out of 27 years, there must be some other bits that didn't make the greatest hits that you think I can just wipe that in there as well, can't I? Yeah, I could do, but I think some of that

isn't me anymore, you know? Josh is always trying to find an easier way to get it down. Yeah, fuck it. Come on, Jeff. Dust off the old gear about about Tony Blair. Just change it to Kirstammer, you'll be fine. The routine about having a mullet and one kid.

That's not about the Iraqi war, you mean? Yeah, call it a moment, Zay. What do you reckon? Good or bad for the country? So it's great to see it, but yeah, there's a limit, isn't there, to how far back you can... There is a funny way to make a thing out of that, where you could go like, right, I've tried to get stuff together, so for this joke, you need to think it's 1997. All I'm doing now is just trying to figure the crap vehicles you could use. Imagine we're in a time machine.

It's 2011, there's horse meat and burgers. Oh well, Geoff, it's been a joy to speak to you. Thanks for inviting me, man. I'm so happy. It's so amazing what's happened to you. On that, like you said it just kind of happened, did it feel like an overnight thing? Because I'd say most comedians, happened? Did it feel like an overnight thing? Because I'd say most comedians, that idea in the world of the arts is this kind of, you're on top of the pops once and it happens, or you release your book and it happens, or you go on TV once or what. That's happened to Kevin Bridges, John Bishop, but very few other people. But does it feel to you like you had that, it happened? I know

it's not overnight success, because you've been there 27 years, but does it think like change that quickly? Yeah, I think it has. I mean, it actually literally overnight, I would say. Certainly in terms of, I mean, my relationship with comedy hasn't changed, but the audience's relationship with me has changed. I'm still doing what I've always done, loving doing comedy, trying to write some material,

going out there enjoying performing it. But now people know who I am. So I would say when I leave the house, I expect to do two or three selfies a day, two or three hugs and handshakes a day, maybe some waves from cars. It's really full on. Yeah. shakes a day, maybe some waves from cars. It's really full on. Yeah. Kissing in there. You've not changed at all. It's just the access to you has widened through Instagram.

And that's happened very suddenly. I imagine that you become famous on TV over a period of time. So, yeah, it's much slower. I'll be on there for a few months or. But with Instagram, a million people see you in one day almost. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Well, it's true.

It has been, like you've looked at your clips, have had like, you know, some of them have over 3.6 million, 3.3 million, and the rest of them are doing huge numbers. How do you know how to do that, by the way? Cause basically, if I go to your page, I can see you've got 143,000 followers, right? So most videos, if you've got that many

just people that follow you are watching, you might get 15, 20,000 people on your videos, but all of your videos do like, you know, even the ones that are getting a bit lesser still around 75 to 100,000, but there's loads of quarter of a million, 800,000, 3 million, 2 million, 1 million. It's brilliant. You're a genius for having to work that out. I've never known that in all the time. I think the major thing that's happened, and it's not just me, is the phenomena of social media over TV. Traditionally, ways of being well known or set up to TV, Edinburgh shows and all of that.

Now Instagram means you have a direct relationship with the audience that have seen your stuff. No gatekeepers. Yeah, totally great. No producers, no big comedy companies. So it's a much more instant thing. It's a much quicker thing. Well, if you're funny, you're funny.

It's tangible and it's just a way that people can find it. Are the comedians coming up to you in dressing rooms going, how have you done it and how can I do it? Well, I mean, I think they think that it's just a question of putting out pics and that will do it. Yeah. Certainly Sam, who's done my social media, he's had people queueing up outside his house, but fair, you know, because of

it says and very well known comedians as well. But it's not obviously it's not as simple as that. It has to be put out the right stuff or the stuff that send. So yeah, I'm loving it really. Oh, brilliant. I will enjoy it. You deserve it, Jeff. And go back home. You've used zoom now. You can go back to your own house, see a flat shower with your son. Thank God. Yeah. They're really cool for inviting me guys. It's lovely to see you. I don't see you. I know. I haven't seen you for years, but it's that thing though when we go on tour and you're on tour. That's what you'll find now you're on tour Jeff you don't see any other comedians.

I only really hang around with Shur in action now. I can't play the small rooms anymore. Thanks a lot guys. JeffInnocent.com for the tickets. Good luck with Jeff. I love Jeff Innocent. That is great. He's a really funny guy. What a life story as well.

I think there's, you know, there's a lot of negatives promoted about social media and I would promote a lot of them myself, Rob, about what it's done. But one of the great things it's done is allowed people a platform that haven't got it otherwise and allow people to find them. And you think initially, oh, that means young people trying on makeup, but often it means people that, do you know what I mean? That are overlooked,

that are brilliant. And that could be Jeff, that could be, we had George Lewis on the other day, there were sketches we've had. You have people like Alistair Green. I think it's so good for comedy that these things exist. Defo. Wicked, right then, do you want to see me on Tuesday? Yeah, what's happening on Tuesday? More shit. Just me and you catching up.

Yeah, yeah, another bonus of the internet. I've got, it's my mom and dad's birthday meal on Saturday, so I'm sure there'll be loads of child-related stuff. What time's the meal? One o'clock, don't you worry, it'll be wrapped up before England play. Okay, I was just checking. Oh, I have fun.

Right, speak to you later. Right. Mum? What is it? Are we there yet? Hello there, it's me, Harry Hill, with some exciting news. I've got a brand new podcast.

It's called Are We There Yet? And is the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from A to B. Join me, my son Gary. Hello! Sarah the AI Bot. Hello, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons. Is it out now, Daddy? Yes, Gary, it is. Are we there yet?