Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP55: Cloned Licence Plate Gate

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Norma, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widicombe? Josh Widicombe. Very good. Very good. Hi guys,

here's a clip of my daughter Nora, two and a half attempting your names. Thanks for your laughs. Oh, thanks for the laughs I was going to say. Just had another baby, Asa. Nora and Asa. Nora and Asa. Is Asa a boy or a girl? It'll be a boy. Asa Butterfield is the actor, isn't he? And he's currently in an app with Robert De Niro. Oh, is it how you spell A-S-A? Yeah. Asa. Okay. And your podcast is keeping me entertained whilst I get through the newborn days,

many walks with him. Cassie, 410 months from the Isle of Wight. Is that someone you know, Michael? No, it's not. Oh, that's how Devon people would be offended by that. If I said to you there's someone from Devon, do you know them? And now you're pushing that down the line to somewhere smaller enough and slightly shitter. I yeah, I'd say the only, only in my defense, only in my defense is Michael does source these. So I thought he might have been given it. Do you know what I

mean? Fair enough. So it. Do you know what I mean? Fair enough. So it's not you don't know Cassie Michael. No, not that I'm aware of. Cassie Satchell? What a surname. Cassie Satchell. Cassie Satchell. Cassie Satchell sounds like something from the 90s all the girls at school had. Oh, mom I want the Cassie Satchell. Those girls at my school that had gold clown necklaces. Do you remember them? No. I think that might have been a little bit of a rougher thing that people had. Like it was a gold necklace with a gold clown on it that had sort of like coloured gems for its

eyes and stuff. Oh yeah. But yeah, I think that might be a selfie sundan thing. Rob, I can tell you're tired. I am. I'm a bit all over the place today. Yeah. Well, I've just flown in from, why have I got two Zen castors open? Must have been older. I don't know. But are you googling gold monkey, gold clown necklace?

Yeah, I was googling gold clown necklace. Some pricey ones actually. Yeah. Yeah, some like five, six, seven, a lot of money these. They must be cheap shit ones as well. No, I've been away working for the week in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Oh. And I flowed in and it's a bit of a dirty flight because you sort of leave at five in the afternoon then I land, but I was supposed to be back earlier and I built in time to rest before I did this so I could give you and the listeners full pelt back here. I don't want to be shortchanging anyone.

I like your actual material. I know. Look, I can still put it out the bag if I need to. However, I tried to make my life easier. But a little old airline called British Airways. They hate you. Shook me again with a little two hour, was it an hour and a half, two hour delayed flight. So I'm two hours behind schedule. So it's 1pm. I've slept for about 90 minutes on a plane that I think was a thousand degrees.

Why a plane so hot? I can't sleep when it's hot. Shouldn't be that angle. I cannot sleep when it's hot. I can't, couldn't get any shut eye. So yeah, so a bit jet lagged. Here's a question. Yeah.

So you were Ramesh, obviously. You were working with Ramesh. Yeah. What's your off camera? Yeah. So when you're flying, what's your unspoken agreement on how it works? What's your unspoken agreement on evenings, on breakfast at the hotel?

Okay, yep. Shall I have a guess? Shall I have a guess? You guess, you guess. Okay, I think, I don't think you text each other to meet for breakfast. I think that'd be too much. I'll message Rob and say, I'm going down about this time. But normally we only really go away when it's sort of America and that's, we're normally always up from about five. Yeah, because of the time

difference. So that's a bit more like- You can't wait to see each other. Yeah, can't wait to see each other. But basically, the way it works is, at no point would Ramesh initiate me in for food or drink unless I do it. Right. Oh, that's interesting. Just because he's a very laid back man that would stay in his room for the entire week. But I coax him out. And I tell you what, once I get him out, he absolutely loves it. Oh, does he indeed? Does he indeed? He absolutely loves it. And what about travel? Travel, we-

And then the headphones going on. I'd say travel. I used to be way more keen being with each other. Because now I'm much more comfortable on my own. Actually, I find Ramesh is the one who's a little bit more, oh, we're not sat together. I'm like, no, we're not actually, we checked in separately. So you are down there. I asked. But this is confusing. Normally though, we're very lucky, we get flown business class when we're filming. And normally there's just like little section at the front. But on the way to LA, LA was one of them double decker planes. And

then as we're walking it and normally we don't sit right near each other, but we're in the same section. They looked at a ticket, you go that door, you go that door. It was downstairs, I was upstairs. Oh, my word. So sort of separate levels, Josh. We didn't like that. Did you come and see each other? I went and saw him. Have you wondered if he doesn't like you anymore? Well, no, he's always been like this. He's always been like this. Remember when you came up to Birmingham to meet us, we was doing gigs up there. And I tried to get us into collective rooms, but he didn't want that just because I used to hate being on my

own, but I'm much better at it now. And you came up to meet us. This is when you were still drinking. You come and met us in Birmingham. It wasn't when I was just still drinking, I'd still got 10 years left somehow. It was probably an early warning sign that drinking wasn't your buddy, where you come and did this gig and then you stayed over in Birmingham even though you had to go to Manchester the next day for fighting talk and was in the dressing room and you had about four beers, you was absolutely shit-faced. Yeah, I wasn't even in Birmingham, Birmingham. I was meant to carry on, but then I realized it was basically free bar.

Yeah. So I was like, I reckon I can make it to Manchester in the morning. And he'd done one of your little sat down six. Oh, God, what a life. That was 10 years ago. Yeah, 10 years. It was 20 years of the Glee Club Celebration Special. Oh, was it?

Yeah. And it was 30 very recently, or it is 30. Oh, is that what it was for? Oh, fair enough. I tell you what, though, I'm gonna tell you about my trip because I've got nothing parenting wise. I've not seen my kids for a week. I've got so much. But basically, it's a couple of things. One, I've got severe, tired jet lag, parent guilt where I've been away too much working and then I extended my stay an extra day to watch

UFC. So now I'm telling myself I'm the worst parent in the world. Well, I'm sure that bringing to go getting home going straight to do that. I suppose they're at school. So that's why I'm trying to get this done before Lou gave me a bit of a saki comment because I literally saw for five minutes I went, Oh, quickly do this pod and I'll come back and we'll have a catch up. Yeah. What in four hours time? I was like, yes, yes, actually. It will be five times. So, okay, love you. The podcast is you can't rush it through because it's timed. Yeah. I mean, if I had to write an article now for a job, I would, I would have AI all over it.

Yeah. Chat GPT up to your arsehole. I only need to make it worse. That counts as a thousand, but we can't, we have to, you know, Can't we have a word? We can't speak faster. Can't we have a, you know, kind of what can we have a word speak faster? Can't we have a word? Exactly. Michael could slow it down. Welcome to parenting. Hell. Right, Josh, in Vegas, it was 42 degrees. That's hot.

Really hot. So hot, and also it's a dry heat, Josh. So it's sort of like, I could literally feel myself crinkling as I went into the sun. And I've been in Dubai when it's been like 42 degrees. When you're on holiday, it's sort of survival because you don't do anything. When you're running around working, you're just like.

What were you doing? Street magic or something? No, I was doing stunt performing and UFC, so I was sweating a lot. And one day, I wasn't really on top of my water and making sure I was drinking. And I was sweating a lot because we was doing a physical like- Are you four? No, no, no, no. But Josh, that's what I thought. But everyone in Vegas like you got to keep on top of your water in this heat. And I was like, I don't want to talk about. And then I realized, when I got home to the hotel at 10pm at night after I finished work, I had a piss and I realized the last time I had a piss was in that toilet when I woke up. I didn't have a piss all day. That is bad, isn't it? Imagine

not having a piss all day. What colour was it? Don't worry about colour. What matter was it? It wasn't liquid anymore, Josh. You had to straight out your dick. What colour was it? Don't worry about colour. What matter was it? It wasn't liquid anymore, Josh. You had the shit out of your dick. I had a dark yellow shit on my dick, mate. I'm trying to be, mate, my healthiness I've been trying to do going to America is an absolute joke.

It's fucking off, mate. One point, Josh, I walked around the entire airport trying to find a salad and I couldn't find one. Then I found somewhere else that was like did salads. They went, oh, we're only doing pizzas at the moment. I was like, for fuck's sake. Then I went somewhere else. I went, can I sit here to eat my sandwich? It was part of the same place. But yeah, but only if you order a drink. I went, okay, I'll have a Coke Zero. He went, no, alcoholic. Oh, fuck it. I was about to have a pint. Oh, fucking, I was about to have a pint. Fucking hell.

I was like, is he mental? You have to have a pint. What's Ramesh's... He left the day before because I stayed. What's his food like in Vegas? Vegan wine, I'm sorry. LA and Vegas wasn't too bad actually. LA was obviously fine.

LA was fine. What was he doing? He was just sort of having salads. Nashville was difficult for him when he had Patreon Pe for dinner three nights in a row. Anyway, but yeah, so sit back and let me tell you about my parenting week Rob. I've got also I can talk about Taylor Swift. That was ages ago when I went Taylor Swift. We had a good time.

Well, you can tie that into my Girls Aloud stuff. Oh, yes. Let's bounce. Let's bounce off that. Talk to me about parenting, Josh. That's what we're here for. Okay. Hey, dog tried to fuck my son. Okay. Okay. I've got questions. Take it where you want, Rob. The answer is no, he didn't manage it. Okay, that's that one done then.

How long was the attempt for, would you say? I wasn't there, I was inside. What, in the house? So we were at a friend's house, they've got a Whippet named Bullet. I tell you what as well, like Whippets are light, but they're big when they get on their back legs, they're tall. And my son, I was told, unbelievably, Bullet was trying to fuck all the kids, basically. Bullet was trying to...

As if to go, your kid ain't special. What kind of... Does it matter? I don't care. If a dog's fucking my kid, I don't care if he's tried on the others. No, no, they weren't saying, don't worry, he tries to fuck all the kids. I'm just saying. I'll be full disclosure, there was people outside and there was a few of us inside

watching Switzerland versus Italy. Yeah, of course. Good game. So just outside the door, I hear a bit of a commotion and it turns out Bullet, who's been trying to fuck all the children. My son had made the mistake. I was putting his trousers down and wiping dog food on his ass. He was in doggy position. Oh, he was crawling around. Yeah, he'd got on, I don't know why he's on his hands and his knees and then the dog tried. Dog tried to fuck him. How was your son about that? Was he just laughing about it or didn't really know what was going on? I don't think

it really, you don't really understand the gravity of it, I suppose, at the age of three. Yeah, you just think, oh, they're jumping on me. You're just actually jumping on me. They're not being playful, yeah. Yeah, well, because they, my girls call it the conga. They're doing the conga. Right, yeah, yeah. So they- It's good to your Lou, don't you? No, I can't remember what, ours is the hash brown, isn't it? I can't remember what we called it. So more parenting. Yep. My son started, I've told you my daughter, he's now moved into a proper bed.

Yeah, so your daughter's old bed is still in her bedroom with the captain's bed. No, no, we've moved her bed down into his room. Oh, so he's got his own proper bed now in his room and your daughter's just got the captain's bed. Yeah. Okay, how's it going? He started just walking through and getting in our bed in the middle of the night. Right. Okay. Not ideal, but I can sympathise because that's what my six year old and how old is she? Six, seven, six, the youngest one. That's what she's doing. And I've been away for a week. She's been

in our bed every night just because Lou says it's easier, yeah but it's difficult isn't it because it's 3am yeah you're like what the fuck it's so much easier i've had to go back to going head at the other end of the bed right now but so so when you when you he gets in your bed does he just get in the middle well this morning because you sleep with a duvet over your head don't you yes i do sleep so if you do that doesn't that that'll go over the child's head? No, no, no. So he, so it's happened twice this week. The first time, neither of us even remember there's just been a knock at the door, but there's got to be someone in. The first time. I don't think we've ever drilled down into you having a duvet over your head. No.

Have you spoke to a therapist, a psychologist about that? No, I've got bigger issues. It feels like something that's just come up from war would do. Well, I just find it snug. Well, I think you should have your own duvet. Why? Because surely, well, because if Rose has got it down like a normal, not a normal person.

No, because it goes over the head and then it goes down It's like it just goes up for the head It must be pulling up on Rose and if she pulls it down a bit must be putting must be a slight tug of war Because I mean I can't I can't I can't emphasize enough how far away from me she is Well, what is Rose having the duvet so just like over a shoulder probably It's difficult to know under the duvet sort of just over like over a shoulder probably? It's difficult to know because I've got my head under the duvet. Ask her where is she? She's I don't know she should be in.

Oh okay oh okay. Yeah she must be downstairs I think. Oh okay just wanted to just wonder. Yeah she is in London. Is there any opportunity if she's in London that's quite broad. Yeah that was broad wasn't it. She's still a UK citizen. Yeah? She's still a UK citizen. Yeah, yeah, she's still a UK citizen.

Oh, sorry. She's still registered here for tax reasons. She'll be voting, don't you worry about that. She'll be voting postal, but she is voting until London's been landed. Yeah, so when your son gets in the bed, so you change your position completely? Well, he just took up all of my pillow. I didn't even remember him getting in the bed, so you change your position completely? Well, I, he just took up all of my pillow. I didn't even remember him

getting in the bed. I just turned around and he was there between us. Because they used to get in and just go to sleep. They get in now and go, where's my pillow? I'm like, well, you're not supposed to be fucking here. Don't start digging me out for a pillow. Where's the pillow? Where's my pillow? I was like, in your own fucking bed. That's where your pillow is. And my son's bed is so uncomfortable that I can't go to sleep in it. His mattress is shit. I know we had that for a bit when we and Lou sat on their mattress. We just got like the cheapest ones. I was like, this is no wonder they keep coming in our room. It's horrible. It's unbelievable compared to their beds.

Why are kids given such shit mattresses? So thin. It's like being on a roll mat, a camping. Just doing a bit of yoga. No, this is bed, is it? Okay, fair enough. So you can't get out and go in that one because it's too uncomfortable. Yeah, so I went head at the other end.

Why did you go head at the other end? Because he'd taken up all of my pillow. So do you grab another pillow? Yeah, I grabbed another like, you know, one of those big square pillows that are on the beds during the day, but not ever used. Not even a real pillow? No. I quite like that one as to my main pillow, but Lou tells me off.

She says that one's for decoration. I'm like, no one's here and I like it. Yeah, I like that one as well. Because my head isn't thick enough because it's so big. Also, it feels light on my head. Yeah. You mainly use it for sitting up in bed, aren't you? I don't know what it's for.

I've got a dining table. I don't dine on that. I hunch over it, shoving a sandwich down before I have to do something else. Rob, if someone offered me the opportunity to eat every meal for the rest of my life in front of the TV, I'd take it now. 100%, yeah. 100%. So much better.

So good. We don't do it. We've got a cream sofa, which is a terrible decision. Oh, no. It's quite a banter off room that one's in. Yeah. Don't get in there. No!

It's on the floor. I know. Why was there a nice carpet by the TV? Is that asking for trouble? I just want that carpet to stay in good Nick. Well don't put it by the TV. Can't put it in your, can't put it in the room in Cornwall. Yeah, put it in the basement. Next to the goo drip. Anyway, sorry. So you, he keeps coming in. So you're at the end of the. Yeah. So that started happening. Came in at six this morning, but he went back to sleep.

Thank God. But in a way that's good. But in another way it's set to precedent because he doesn't know it's six. He just knows that I go and get in bed in my parents' bed. And then did you get up then or did you just down the bottom? No, well, he luckily slept on the roses side. He just get got in roses side. Oh, well he luckily slept on the Rose's side. He just got in Rose's side. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. And then he fell out at one point.

I had a weird morning, Rob. So I'm such a stiff neck booking. This is so weird. What? I got, and I did it because I was like, to be honest, it'll give me something to talk to Rob about on the podcast. Okay. I got asked to do Radio 5 and Radio 4 breakfast to talk about the England game. Both of them. I did them back to back. Why? Well, I was just like, this is a weird thing. I might as well do it. Yeah. And then it suddenly got earlier. 10 past seven for a fucking sound check for Radio Four. I only did five minutes. What time were you on? 20 past

seven. Oh, no, 25 past by the time. I couldn't hear them. Turned out. So I had to do it on the phone in the end. Turned out the volume down. Are you supposed to be on Zoom? Yeah. Oh, then on Radio 5, I got asked to play a game called Baller or Banger, in which I had to identify whether it was a football or a sausage, the name, which was quite a good follow. Okay, that's quite a good follow into that.

You do enjoy that. Yeah, big fan of that. So any other parenting stuff, Josh, for you? Yeah, I'll lead up to the big parenting event, but I need to give you an update. I've seen one. I tell you what, this could get really turned, this podcast. One of us, I got divorced and it was like, one comes and goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, well, yeah, she's not, I'm not allowed to see her at the moment.

Fucking hell, just one of us dragging this and the other one through. Luckily, we're not in that position. We're not in that position, Rob, no. It's quite nice for me to be the least tired of the two. Yeah. Not that I feel tired. I feel very weird. Yeah, you do feel quite weird.

I feel quite off. I feel a little bit angry. Yeah, you know what? I think you've been picked up on that. There's an edge to me this morning. There is an edge to you this morning. Yeah, you don't seem happy with the wood. I am, Maggie, if I haven't slept is bad.

Sorry, I'll try and be more positive. No, it's all right. So I've had a bit of a problem with that. You know, the car number plate, Rob? Yeah, so your car got someone stole your number plate. Yeah, so my parking charge. I've been scared of one of my charges. All right, because you had to tell them that your car. What happened to the builders? Did the builder get a parking ticket the other week? Good work.

Yeah. Barking council. Barking. I've not accepted my challenge. Okay, so your number plate got cloned, the police gave you a number to give to the local council to say this isn't my car. So it turns out that's not a crime reference number. That's a reference to the call I made to the police. They can't give me a crime reference number because all I'm saying is someone stole my car. They haven't got any proof there's been a crime. Right. Okay. So I've got no car reference

number. Barking Council got back in touch with me. Have they got a photo of the car? It's at 1am they've got a photo of two red lights in the darkness with a number plate between them. That's what they've got. Can you prove your car wasn't... How? Photo of you asleep? But how's the burden of proof on me? I know.

Surely the burden of proof is on me. Don't get me started with a fucking council, Josh. They ought money grabbing little fuck nuts. Right. And it's not even my council. So I got done for 23 in a 20. That fucking hurts. Yeah, I did. I got done for 22. I did a speed awareness course for 22 in a 20. I actually enjoyed it. That's not in there. Because I'm a nerd. I came away thinking everyone should do one of these.

They will. I've driven better ever since. Anyway. So now, so one of the options is I'm allowed to go to Barking Council to view the video footage. Yes please. Can I come?

Let's do a live pod. We'll drive up together, have a little chat in the car. We'll go in mic'd up in secret to the council. I'll be your guardian or whatever it is, your representative, you know, when you get like HR on you. Yeah. So how, like, they're just, I'm not accusing of them, I'm not saying this is what they're doing, but what I'm saying is a lot of people might just go fuck it, I'll pay it. Yep. And I am very close to being that person. However, when I spoke to the police again, she said, some people have 15 or 20 of these

happen to them when they get their card number plates cloned. I said, so what can I do? She said, do you you could just change your number plate? I haven't done anything wrong. Can you imagine the faff of changing my number plate? Get a personalised one. She said, she said you could just change it by one number. That doesn't make any fucking difference. What the advantage isn't that I want a number plate a bit like my number plate.

I'm basically going to... So Barking, what have Barking said? They've just refused that question. I don't know what to what barking said they've just refused. I don't know what to do now. I've got about five days to make a decision. Is it still 60? Or is it got you got a 190 fucking Oh, fuck off. But they would I don't want to lose days of my life to this. I know. But if you don't challenge it now, what if another 10 come through with barking?

I know with barking. But how many councils are they going to drive through? There must be someone at Barking Council listening. If not, let's start a petition. I don't know what to do. I put it on Instagram actually to check and I haven't checked the replies. Let me just check. Yeah, not enough replies. I think you should challenge it as part of the podcast.

Yeah, but what do I challenge it over? We can't keep getting bent over and ramrodded up the ass by these councils. Have you heard about GameStop? You know that- Charlie Baker just sent me a personalized number plate for 250 quid. I'm not getting a personalized number plate. What is it?

What's it say? JOS treble 9H. Oh, yes, please. No, no, Rob. Come on. No way. Yes. Have you ever seen someone with a personalized number plate and thought anything other than that guy's a c***?

Like, no one ever thinks cool dude coming through here. No one's ever thought that! I think you now have an excuse. No I don't! Maybe all those people that have got them have had their number plates cloned in the past. What Lord Sugar with AMS1? How do I know that?

What am I going to do? What, Lord Sugar with AMS-1? How do I know that? What am I gonna do? You're gonna fight back. How? You're gonna put these bastards in their place for the common man and woman. Should I reply and say, I'm refusing to pay this, but I don't have any evidence to back my...

Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Because... You know what? It's a burden of proof on me or them. Well, you have to go to court and prove that you weren't. That's not your car. I can't be doing this. What? Let's go. I'm your lawyer. I'm your lawyer. OK.

Hello, Mr. Whitaker. Thanks for I knew you were here. I just saw you pull into the car. JOS99H. Obviously, I know this wasn't you and it wasn't your car. However, we need to prove this to Barking Council on the courts. So on that night in question, can you have a look at your diary? Do you know how much this lawyer's going to cost me? More than 190 quid, I'll tell you that for free. Right, so where were you that night? In bed, it was 1am. Yeah, but where in bed?

Between my wife and my son. End of the pillow cover over my head. I was taking a photo and there's a man with a duvet over his head driving a car. The problem is, even if you had a photo of my bedroom, I wasn't going to prove I'm there because my head's covered. But no, but was it in London then? It was in your home, it wasn't anywhere else? So you were just at home.

Had you done anything that night? No, I just watched TV and gone to bed. Yeah, because if you're away gigging, you could go, well, I weren't there. I was in So-and-So. I was at Telford doing the Spiral Awards. Exactly. But I wasn't. I was at home. Oh, you need to go look at the video because is it? No, I don't. What's that going to achieve? Because you could be able to bring-

I'm going to lose a day of my life to this. Yeah, but you're going to gain another day in eternity as the absolute barking slayer. But I think you need to at least see the video. What if I drive to barking to view the video and I'm mistaken to go in a bus lane? All these guys going in a bus lane at 2am. Who cares who's in a bus lane at 2am? There's no traffic around. But now Josh, or just keep speeding and then send in this crime reference number and hopefully you might get away with a couple even up the school. I'm so annoyed.

And I think you should go to Bark and look at the video because then you can go, that's not my car. I'll update you on how it goes. How do I know if it's my car? Why can't they send you the video? Maybe it's on video. It's good. I mean, am I going to go on a screening room? Like I'm watching a fucking film that I was like, you know, and it's like.

You have a show that I'm privy to. Should they send it to you on email? No phones in here, because we don't know who's pirating this fucking video for CCTV. Well, yeah, I think you should watch that video and say, look, that is not my car. Yeah, I think I should. Livid.

But no more have come through. No, none yet. And I've been cleared of parking on a road, four roads to my house. So why would I park four? Why would I drive four roads to my house to park? So they're still near you then, aren't they, these people that phoned you? Yeah, they're taunting me. Have you thought about going out to try and find it? No I'm not going to become a vigilante. And just break it off and nick it back? Honestly I would suggest that there

is a one police officer in this country that's aware of what's going on. There must be one. But no they're not well it's just someone in a call centre that basically just note that down as possibly cloned. Oh my god, you don't think this has gone up to Scotland Yard? No, this hasn't even gone to Sun Hill. Burnside's not even touching it, it's old Reg, honest. Poor old Reg, right. So, went girls Girls Aloud, Rob. Oh, yes. Exciting, thrilling, very nervous. I got incredibly nervous.

But you got to meet the girls. Was you nervous about meeting them? To go back in time, I don't remember if I said this on the show, I had sent out a couple of Instagrams a couple of months ago about how much I liked Girls Aloud. Then I went on the show, I had sent out a couple of Instagrams a couple of months ago about how much I liked Girls Aloud. Then I went on the Zoe Ball show and they brought that up on the show. And then the manager of Girls Aloud, who a huge thank you to Peter Lorraine, the manager of Girls Aloud, was listening to the show and said, if Josh wants to do a meet and greet with his door and Girls Aloud before the show. Oh, that would make me nervous.

Yeah, it made Rose nervous, obviously, because she knew. Oh, in case Rose was a bit worried that you were going to just go out on the... Yeah, in case, you know, there's four girls there that probably won't be able to resist, but there we go. I wore the wedding ring, let them knew, you know.

I'm taken. So, we're ready to go. I had an insane rush of blood to the head 20 minutes before because my daughter with her, she's got pocket money now. Yeah. And with her first pocket money, she bought a bead set so she could make bracelets for the Taylor Swift gigs in August.

Yeah. That had arrived. Why did I do this? I said, do you know what? She was just making a bracelet for Taylor Swift before we lead to Girls Aloud. I said, oh, you could make the band bracelets with their names on them. Oh my God. Why did I say that? It's just before you left.

20 minutes probably. She's like, obviously now that's got to happen. Set in stone. So now I'm quickly trying to make these bracelets. Even though it's a new bead set, there's not enough eyes in there. So we're discussing whether we could miss Belle Kimberly with a Y instead of an I. Or could you just do K, the C and an N just... Too late by then. She's like, Cheryl and Nadine have got their own bracelets. You can't really, you know, as if they'll give a fuck. I do similar things like this where I go, oh, that'd be a good idea. And I've not

thought it through. And then it just causes mayhem. Yeah. So in the end, I find myself with a Sharpie writing an I on a plastic star for Nicola. So then we get there. I'm incredibly nervous about this, partly because I'm nervous because it's my daughter's first proper music gig. So she's been to concerts before, like children's concerts. Yeah, but this is a proper gig. And also you love these, this band.

Also you get there and you realize, Rob, the cue for the gents was Swift. Yeah, that's it. Taylor Swift was the same. It is mental. Love it. UFC, UFC, that's a cue for a piss. I had to queue for a piss. Women's FC. I bet he did. It was unbelievable. I'd say I was the only heterosexual male I met that night. Are you queuing up with other people that have paid for like a meet and greet or is it just... The guy before us I think was the support act. Get a photo with them. Have you ever done that with your support acts?

Quick meeting group. Do you want a photo? I've got a Josh Woodie backdrop here if you want to have your photo with me. I know I put it in my boot to drive you here. So we queue up. There's only a few people in the room. They're all in dressing gowns, cause they're about to go, like they're not ready for the show.

They were so nice. They were so good with my daughter. It was brilliant. They were like so pleased about the bracelets, you know, that she felt amazing. Oh, that's nice. So we had a group photo. I mean, she's never gonna...

How do you go on from that from your first gig? No, it's difficult, isn't it? Completely sport for life. We had a group photo and then my daughter had one with them. And then I was like, I've got to... I can't... I do want just one with me and Girls Aloud. But I did that in selfie.

I was like, I can't do that in the queue up mode. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Just grab it quick. Yeah, they were lovely. They were really good. It's on your Instagram, isn't it? The picture. Yeah, yeah. The live photo is good at that, Rob. I'm absolutely stationary and they're all pulling loads of like really glamorous faces and I'm just there with a rictus grin. You've got big old grin. I always do stupid big grins in photos. Oh, there you are. You sort of cut off Cheryl. Well, yeah, but there's quite a lot of them. And I didn't mean to. That's not cut off from a photo. That's because... There's loads of your face. There's even space between your ear and the edge of the photo. No, no, but the problem is, Rob, that I have,

it's done that thing Instagram does where it sizes it for a different photo in the amount of photos that you've provided. You're wearing the same colours as the backdrop. You look like you're part of the show. I was, yeah, yeah. I did five at the top. The show is, I mean, it's finished now, so this is no use to anyone, is fucking incredible.

So good, really great. Really brilliant, loved it. I'm glad you had a good time. Is your daughter like it? Yeah, she loved it, but it is that thing where, it was a lot, do you know what I mean? She watched the whole thing and she fell asleep in the car home,

but then for a lot of it she was just like, she wasn't like just dancing, like she was just like taking it in, if that makes sense. Well, yeah. So we went to Taylor Swift for the girls and they just sat there for the first bit of it, completely open mouthed, just like. Yeah, it's like they're kind of-

I can't believe this is a real thing. It's like they've been turned off. Do you know what I mean? I was like, oh, they're not enjoying it. And then I'm like burning in the face. Is this fun girl? And I'm like, just shut up. I was doing that.

I kept kind of checking in. Are you all right? I was like, that's the thing, what is my dad staring at me in the face taking photos. That's it. It's pathetic from me. Oh, Taylor Swift for people that are going in August, I think you're going August as well. That is three hours long, Josh. It's really long. The first hour love second out was a bit the folky folklore album, which I don't really know that well. And my kids weren't massively into that they loved the first and last hour the middle hour

I would say the middle hour is a good time to go and get merch yeah have a wee or get something to eat and bring it back whatever but um yeah they loved it but like I say they were completely like what the hell is this and then we're really going for it um like dancing and stuff by the end but the start it's just overwhelming I think for kids isn the end, but at the start, it's just overwhelming, I think, for kids, isn't it? Yeah. It's a long night. It's just like, oh, that walk.

Girls' Lab was the right length. And can I just say, the tribute to Sarah Harding, literally you're in a room with 20,000 people crying. It was so beautifully done. Oh, that's nice. It was incredible. It's your daughter.

Do you have to explain that to your daughter, though? Not really. No, so we've been priming her. Like we did say one of them died. Oh yeah. Because they've, when the pictures come up on the, on the car, Apple car play thing, like the girls are going, who is everyone? And there was that one.

Oh, and then you have to explain that who they all are. And cause that's how they get the pictures of who they are on it. But six year olds, you, it's weird isn't it? So, what goes? Is someone scrubbing something? Oh yeah, he's sanding the wall. Is that a problem? I don't know.

Do you want him to sand the wall? No, I just heard something. I thought it was my ears. Michael? Yeah, ideally not, if possible. Oh, he stopped now? Yeah, I know. Yeah, we don't want to be super Keno Stephen Bartlett, but I do think a man sand in a wall on a podcast.

I know we don't pride ourselves on super slick, but he's really taking a biscuit from a man sand in a wall during a recording. What about if as well we're recording an advert for Screwfix? Oh, that's great. Yeah. Rob, I love life on a building site. And do you know where I buy a lot of my sandpaper? Where? Screwfix. Could hear that now, he started sanding again. Um, coming to the end of the episode. Yeah. I would argue I might save my, can you stop sanding for the start of the next episode?

I mean, have I gone mad for the start of the next episode? I mean, have I gone mad? Have I lost the plot? Well, no, I think slightly because we have to be able to record a show without the noise of a man working in your hallway. Do you know what I mean? Because I like... Your ego is quite big, Rob. Yeah. No, but I'm just saying that.

Also, I'm aware that we are now doing this in the afternoon because I was coming back this morning. No, no, that's not your fault. They arrive at 8am, so they would have been sanding this morning. Yeah, I do think if you're going to record at home, you can't really have builders in the house. Yes. Because it's not really helpful for you or the builders, is it?

I hadn't really thought it through. And I don't quite know't really thought it through. And I don't quite know how to approach it now. He stopped sounding. We started again. You stop. Yeah, I know. But I think for future of calls, you may have to be like, don't work in the morning.

Yeah, I'll just work further downstairs. Cause they're doing the whole stairwell. Right. Is it called a stairwell if it's in a house Cause they're doing the whole stairwell. Right. Is it called a stairwell if it's in a house staircase? Staircase because stairwell is like a separate to the- A block of flats, isn't it? Stairwell.

Yeah. Yeah. Staircase. Small business shout outs? So I've got one. Adrian's Builders. Small business shout outs. Here we go, I've got one. Hi, Rob and Josh. I've been really enjoying your podcast from day one.

I listened to you in the car, which isn't always a great idea. Sometimes I have to put over for safety reasons as laughing so much. Oh, thank you. Also, you do have some really good tips for parents as well. And a lot of what you talk about, I went to when my boys were young. I wish you had been there for me then. Please, can I do a small business shout out for our small family business, Flat Pack Wizards.

Great idea. I know what you do. You've named it well. Unless it's not what I think it is, I think that's a great business idea. Josh, they've spelled Flapjacks wrong. What? Their business is a sham.

I'm joking. No, it's Flatpacks. Oh. They still Flapjacks, but they've just spelled it wrong. I was going to break it to them, but I thought we'd do it. No, no, it's Flatpak Wizard. We are based in Norfolk and we've been going since 2016. My husband, Mike, or my son, Jack, will come along to assemble flatpak furniture for people.

So if it's a large wardrobe, garden or nursery furniture, and it comes flat packed, we can assemble it. We also do complete bedroom and kitchen assemblies too. You can find us www.flatpacklittle-wizards.co.uk. And if you quote Parenting Hill, we will give you a 10% discount. Thank you so much for keeping us entertained. You are both an absolute delight from Wendy Segoe. Well her son's working for her now so she's definitely not got like young ones. That is, no, yeah I wouldn't want to speak to her telling her to do my flat pack. I'm

on flatpatwizards.com. Yeah, co.uk. .co.uk, sorry. There's a 10% pensioner discount as well. So do you reckon if you're a pensioner and you quote parenting health, do you reckon you can get 20%? Well, I reckon as well, imagine it would be quite good if you moved house, right, and you had loads of new stuff. Yeah, that's what I mean. You could get it all delivered on a day and say,

right, come around for two days, get it all done. And you could just go, what a nice two days that'd be. You could ruin your weekend for three weeks. Oh, I love it. There you go, Flatpak-Wizards. Hello, Rob and Josh. I'm a big fan of the Parenting Health podcast. I love laughing. There you go. Flat pack hyphen wizards. Hello, Rob and Josh. I'm a big fan of the parenting health podcast. I love laughing along with you both. I look forward to my weekly dose of anecdotes from you sexy and relatable pair. I would love it if you could

give a shout out to my sister, Tarek. This is good, Rob. Go on. You're not going to believe this. This feels like it's set up. But I can tell you now it's not set up because as you're aware, I'm not professional enough to even have read ahead. I'm just reading out. At no point is anyone accusing you of being too professional when you just went, is it okay if that man sands my wall while we record? Well, this is weird. Do you know what? I don't think I'd say no, Josh. That's a bit like a cab driver going, you don't mind if I pick my wife up on the way

through do you? I would love it. If you could give a shout out to my sister Tara and her fiance, Igor. No way. Yes way. Double Igor. Double Igor. Brilliant new small business, please.

It's called Only Rescues and is an app designed to re home rescue cats and dogs. Oh, that's good. It's a bit like a dating style app where you can search for your perfect rescue pet. The app will show you all of your matches based on your search criteria and you can swipe left for now. Oh my God, brutal. Swipe right when you find your perfect match. Hopefully bullets not on there pretty soon because he's going to get a lot of old swipe-os

if he keeps shagging kids. He's not on that. That's not the app he's on. Tara and Igor love dogs and cats and have developed a completely free and simple-to-use app with an aim of finding forever homes to as many rescued animals as they can. Also, if you're a cat or dog, you can join up and swipe left or right

to find your perfect owner. Ooh. No, I've made that bit up. All right. If any of you are listening. I haven't had attention, was I? I just went to my phone then. I just did it all

because I was listening to intonation. It was absolutely potluck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. It's good. The audience will have enjoyed it. So if any of your listeners are looking for adding a new furry addition to their family, I urge them to check out the app. You can find them in the app store under OniRescues and follow them on Instagram, OniRescuesUK.

Thanks so much, Nadia. Nadia and Igor. Double Igor. Josh, I will be rested, pumped up, ready to go, milkers at the ready with parenting content for you. Just been nose at the grindstone this week. Don't think you will be Rob because we're recording the intro to Friday after this so you'll be in the same mood. Yeah I still haven't seen my children. Yeah okay. Perfect. There'll be no sounding though.

Well I just heard literally heard some. Yeah I'll stop it now. Okay we'll tell him not because if if they're still sounding on Friday I think we're gonna this is gonna be bad news for the listeners. Yeah all right. All right bye. I think we're gonna this is gonna be bad news for the listeners. Yeah. All right Hello there, it's me Harry Hill with some exciting news. I've got a brand new podcast It's called are we there yet and is the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from a to be Join me my son Gary. Hello. Sarah the AI bot.

Hello, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities, and cultural icons. Is it on now, Daddy? Yes, Gary, it is. I'll be there. Yet.

Do you ever feel like topical comedy only ever tends to come from one angle? Well, I'm Geoff Norcott, host of What Most People Think, and my show jokes about all sides, jokes about Tories, jokes about Labour, jokes about everyone. If there's any Lib Dems listening, there is. We're returning guests from across the political spectrum, including Ramesh Ranganathan, Simon Evans, Catherine Ryan, Constantine Kissing, David Baddiel, Andrew Doyle, Al Murray and more.

Sometimes we'll make good points, sometimes we'll make cheap jokes. But whatever we do, we'll be trying our best to get to the heart of what most people think. Uh oh, you died. Mince through a woodchipper, absolute classic. But don't worry, you're coming to the fun place where the lava's hot and the gossip is even hotter. Welcome to Hell is the brand new comedy podcast by me, Daniel Fox, comedian, sketch hussy and Hell's resident receptionist.

And me, Dane Buckley, comedian, black belt in contemporary dance and lapsed angel. Each week we read outrageous confessions from you, the listener and judge them. So come down and join us. Welcome to Hell is available now wherever you get your podcasts.