Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP58: At the end of the day it's content...

Episode Date: July 26, 2024

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. This episode we get through some more of your brilliant correspondence (keep them coming to the email below!) Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Exec Producer: Michael Marden Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Maddie, can you say Josh Widicombe?

What a voice. Pooh. No, not poo. Josh Widicombe? What a voice. Pooh. No, not poo. Josh Widicombe. Yeah, poo. Can you say Rob Beckett? Be-be. No, not close at all.

That was like someone doing an impression of a posh person. What, Ivo Graham? It was like if you said, I'm going to put on a posh person. Well, I vote Graham. It was like if you said I'm going to put on a posh voice. It was incredible. Good on him. I do feel sorry for properly posh people. I know no one likes to listen to his voice. He is from stock. Maddie, can you say Josh Whiddicombe? Josh. It's like Jack White or his dad.

Oh, what's up, James? Blonde documentary. And people do just hate anyone that's posh, but they don't choose what they sound like. Hi guys, love the podcast. This is my 18 month old Madeline attempting to say your names. She's Winnie the Pooh obsessed. Keep it sexy and relatable. Reece Davis from Newport, South Wales.

That's such a posh cartoon for kids to like, Winnie the Pooh. Newport though, isn't the poshest place I've ever been. That's the way I'm going to phrase that sentence. What's going on with Newport then? Why is he in Newport if he sounds like that? He's supposed to be well, should he? Yeah. Do you want to fact about Newport Rob? Yeah, give me some.

It's where Kurt Cobain met Courtney Love. Really? What are they doing there? I think one of them was playing a gig and the other was in the UK so came to watch. Oh god, no offence Newport but if I'm trying to impress a woman, yeah, don't come to the Newport show. It's only for three hours from Paddington but luckily it's the first stop in Wales. Mad you stop you go all the way to and then like quick out Newport then Cardiff. Why are we stopping here straight to Cardiff surely?

Oh man, I am tired Rob. You're still tired. You're still unwell, Josh. Parenting is tiring man. How is it going, what's going on with your parenting, what you've been up to? It's when you're ill. Yep. So not well.

No. It's that you can't just do nothing. Yeah, that's the thing, you can't rest. You can't rest, it's so difficult. What have you been doing parenting wise, what's been going on? Have you had sports day or anything like that? End of terms near?

No, just yesterday I was really unwell. Rose was unwell as well. Yeah. So you've got to just do stuff. What did you do yesterday? Oh, went to the park. This actually feels a bit like- We rarely go to the park now.

It feels like you're attempting to, you've tricked It feels like you're attempting to you've tricked me and you're attempting to get out of recording this and you've got chat GPT doing a Joshua Willicombe. Tied you're in the park and I'm like, I haven't been into the park in ages. That's how ill I was. I'd run out of ideas. So I was like, should we just go to the fucking park? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. How was it good times? No, part. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. How was it? Good times?

No. It was fine, actually. But I don't know what was going on with the slides. It just rained, but it was now sunny. But it meant the slides were basically sticky. So people getting stuck on the slides due to the riot. So there was like big slides. And there was like parents whose jeans were just stuck. And they were having to shimmy down the slides with their children in their laps. The weather's been an absolute disgrace. It was like red hot summer for a week, then it's like it's sunny then it rains and it's sunny then it rains. It is depressing. I just want to have a barbecue, Josh. Yeah. Safely.

Yeah. Because you go on holiday, like you go somewhere like Spain, you go out for the day, you like you look out the window and you go like it's hot. I wear shorts. And then that's that's all your clothing and weather decisions and discussions for the whole day. And I know we get sucked off for talking about the weather. Do we?

Yeah. You know that, don't you? On this podcast? No, in this country. All right. So I thought it was like, bloody hell, don't listen to that podcast. They're always talking about the bloody weather. No, British people always talk about the weather, don't we?

It's a cliche. Yeah, yeah. But that's because we've got weather. Got bloody loads of it, mate. That's what I mean. Like, why would you talk about in LA? But we've got different weathers. I like different weathers. But I just wish they were more split up. You've changed your tune. You was moaning about the sticky slide a minute ago.

Oh, well, sticky slides shouldn't be an issue. No, any other parenting you want to get off your chest, Josh? I've got loads of correspondence we haven't got through. Oh, if I ever tell my son I love him, he says that he loves his mom, which does my head in. So you pretend to be your son. I love you. And I love mummy. Oh, that is son. I love you. And I love mommy. Oh, that is bad. That hurt me.

This is role play with you. And so he just says I love mommy, but like to wind you up or just... Well, he knows now, doesn't he? The ear noise you. Well, I actually try and see the funny side of it now. Because at the end of the day is content. The best thing about this podcast really is that everything bad that happens to me is worth something. Or talk about what bad is happening to you. I know this isn't great for listeners, but it looks

like you've been burgled behind you. It looks awful. What's happened at your tables everywhere? There's stuff on the floor. There's some work being done in our house. What again, it all in shape before it goes on the market. No, it's not going on the market. It's fucking not going on the market. Oh, we've had ants. So I told you we've had ants. But don't say that. I won't buy it.

We've got rid of the ants. All right. You had ads. Yeah. We were the ants. Do you want to see the ants? How? Rose videoed the ants. Yeah. We were the hands. Do you want to see the hands? How? Rose videoed the hands. Okay.

Sorry, I'm professionally replying to another message. What? You fucking kidding me? I went on there someone else messaged me. I just don't reply to it. What about? Oh, it's someone's coming to pick some out later, but I wanted to come and get it. So I wanted to go. Oh yeah, that works for me. I've done that.

That sounds good. Isn't it? Right. Ants. Oh, you can't really put this on Instagram it's a whole house oh my god oh my oh my fucking god up the wall oh my oh my god josh there's so many ants yeah oh fuck me fucking hell josh you ever see I've never seen anyone have ants like that Oh, fuck me. Fucking hell, John.

I've never seen anyone have ants like that. We used to have ants. So basically we'd feed a sea about one or two in the kitchen and you put a couple of stuff down there, go. Yeah, I put some things down so we had to get a bloke in. Right. I had to get an ant bloke in. Was he just ants or did he do other things?

Well, they're pest controlled, but they did ants. Yeah. And he looked at our little things that we put down. Laughed? Well he didn't laugh but he was like, come on mate. There's a thousand ants here. Yeah, you might as well put a cork in the Titanic. What do you do to get rid of ants? They put stuff down and then it gets rid of the ants. Was this about the time when Rose started messaging us about moving house and the houses she's seen and right moved?

No, it wasn't actually. No, this was this weekend. Right, okay. And so they're all gone now, the ants? Yeah. That was a lot of ants, Josh. Can I be honest? You're itchy. I've got itchy nose now because of the ants.

I know, I get itchy thinking about the ants. I know, I'm itchy. It's awful, I'm itchy thinking about the ants. There were so many of them, Josh. I was so prepared to be underwhelmed. Yeah, well, you know, you've worked with me a long time. You know, when you had roses every day, take the ads video tape for you. But frames. Yeah. And I was like, all right, wait, but I thought, okay, I'm prepared to go into WhatsApp, watch two ads, sort out a couple of messages first to make it worth my while.

I feel like ants are crawling up my nose. It's twitching. That was fucking loads of ants. Yeah. If that was in my house, I'd ring Lou and go, Lou, there's fucking loads of ants. Yeah. What would you have done? Immediately called a man. Yeah. Yeah. I would have gone out, I think.

Would you? I would have gone out and called a man and went, let's go out. I'm getting itchy here. It makes you itchy thinking about the ants. It does, doesn't it? Anyway. What have I got? We've got a fox that walks through our garden that my dog's chasing.

I tell you what's lovely, where we are now, we're getting baby deer. Oh yeah. I see the baby deer running about. It's really cute. So I've got loads of stuff in my room, Rob. Because of the ants? No, not because of the ants. That's on our side. All right. We haven room, Rob. Because of the ants? No, not because of the ants, that's on our side.

All right. We haven't moved the table because of the ants. Well, maybe they moved and there was enough. So we're doing some work. So we've moved that chest of drawers there. Yeah. Into this room, but we haven't got rid of the other stuff, which is a fucking table.

Oh, that's the ants in the middle of the room. I'm just squeezed in the fucking corner. So what's happening? What are you getting done? Just the stairs sanded, won't it? We're repainting a few rooms. Yeah. And then we're going to redo the kitchen.

Oh yes. You have a little extension on it. Well, it is an extension, but we're going to change the kitchen and glass up the end. Oh, so you're not really extending it. You're just changing the configuration, putting glass in. Yeah, yeah. Get an island. Oh, that'd be nice because you've got quite a big table in there. There's a table going.

So we're then going to move the table. I mean, I don't know, Rob. This is what happens. So this this is an idea of the communication that's going on. So, you know, when you come into my house, right? Quite traditional Victorian sort of terraced house. And on the left, there's what's happened in a lot of these traditional houses, these Victorian houses, is what was a living room and a dining room

knocks her into one big room, yeah? Yep. And so we've got a door that would have used to go to the living room. And then you go on a bit further, there's another door into what is the same room, two doors into the same room. That would have been a separate back dining room back in the day. Yeah. And so I'm with Adrian in the hallway. How was he after Romania went out?

He was very sanguine about it. He was fine with it. They'd had a good run. That first game, I think on the day of the first game, he said they're the worst team in the tournament. So when they then went on a one, I think that was enough. He's fired. And they won their group.

Yeah, of course they've done brilliantly. What a tournament. Overshadowed the blonde haired ones from 96. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So he I was talking to him in the hallway. Yeah. He had his tape measure out. Yeah, we were in the same one. That's it. I was like, you're only repainting the same. You don't need tape measure it. Do you? He was like, Oh, no, no, we're plastering over the door. And I was like, Oh, what? He's like,

Yeah, Rose told me yesterday that she wants to get rid of this door and plaster over it. So you can have it. I hadn't been told this Rob. Adrian's been commissioned to do work. Also, well, a couple of interesting things there. Yeah, you said I hadn't been told this yet, which implies there would be no consideration of your opinion involved. No, that's all. Yeah, Rob, of course. You've gone so beyond that now you accept that you won't even

be asked if you want to do that. But now all you need is to be told what's gonna happen. Yeah, even that's not happening. Do you know what, Rob, I can't disagree with any of the words you've just said. Which is something you say to Rose all the time. Exactly. Yeah. So now let's go back a few steps. Do you want the door closed if it was up to you? Well now it's been explained to me. It does make a lot of sense actually. Right. Because that door is never used because the other door is used. Yeah. But it means that you have to leave this gap for the door. Whereas if it turns into wall you can have a longer sofa and it will create more space. I'm all for it but it's quite funny that you don't even know. When he first explained why we were getting rid of the door, I didn't know this sofa theory,

because Rose knows about stuff like this. So I was thinking, why would you swap a door for some wall? What is the advantage of this? Don't talk about the sofa theory like it's the Big Bang Theory where if there's more space you can get a bigger sofa. That's not really theory, that's just is it? No, no, no. But I mean, I suppose theoretically you could just put a sofa in front of the door, but it wouldn't be good.

It wouldn't be very nice, would it? No, no. And it's weird to have a door there you can't open at some point. Yeah, exactly. And someone would open it and then push the sofa. You're sorry that we don't really open that one. Do you mind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you just lock it so it can't open and then people are on the door handle.

So I think it's a good decision. Yeah. Yeah. OK. How much do you reckon that's going to cost? I don't think I'm the man to ask. What's Adrian said? I said, are you going to price it up for me? Yeah, why are you starting to swing your dick around like you're in charge? As if you're not even told it's happening. Never mind being asked if you wanted to do it now you're like oh yeah

give me the price I have a big boy they were about that yeah I just felt I needed to say something like that to get a feel for you're like Bruce Willis in sixth sense are you sure you're alive just wondering around this house at Rosie's just doing up. One day you'll go to your wall, Trump, and it'll be all Adrian's clothes. That'll be the big reveal. Okay, well that's exciting though, isn't it? What, get rid of the door? Is it?

I don't know how exciting that is. It's not like fun money to be spent, is it? Get rid of a door? No, no, it feels like you're paying to lose something in a way, doesn't it? Yeah, like if you spend money on like a new sofa or new telly, it's like, ooh. I'm not looking forward to that bit of wall. Yeah. They go, oh, you know, like, oh, they'll finish on the bathroom this week. Can't wait to see it. Like, oh, yeah, agents finished on the wall.

Yeah, we've got we've got more wall. Then you and Rose just looking at it going, oh, yeah. But then you're gonna have to repaint the hallway as well, aren't you? We're doing that anyway. Oh, right. Yeah. So it seems like a good time to do it because you don't want like a freshly painted door shape. No, exactly. So where exactly did the door used to be? Oh, that's nice. That's good. Right. Should we get through some correspondence?

Let's get through the correspondence. Here we go. Hi, Rob and Josh just wanted to say after listening to a recent episode and the Olly Olly song, I used to sing it when I was at school too and lyrics go oh here we go. Still itchy Rob. I know it's horrible isn't it? You didn't know the Olly Olly song did you? How does it go? Olly Olly song, did you? How does it go? Olly olly olly, tits in a trolley, balls in a biscuit tin, sitting on the grass with a finger up your ass,

playing with your ding-a-ling-ling. No. Love you, Pod. It brightens up my day. Can't wait to see you on tour, Rob. Lots of love from Sam. Love you both. Oh, so you didn't remember the lyrics?

No, Sam, a lot of people sent it in, but that was from Sam. Oh, okay you didn't remember the lyrics? No, Sam said a lot of people sent it in, but that was from Sam. Oh, okay. He's coming to my tour, giraffe tickets still available for London Palladium. Do sign up to my mailing list. Yes, Josh, of course. Cause I might go back on tour.

I've misjudged the tour, Rob. Why, what do you mean? Well, not that I'm going on tour, but... What? Have you delayed your photo shoot still? Cause you wanted to get ripped. No, I've done my photo shoot. Oh, you've done it, all right, okay. I thought youhoot still? Because you wanted to get ripped. I've done my photoshoot. You've done it? All right, okay.

You said you were going to delay it to get ripped. I am ripped. All right, sorry. Sorry, I must have forgot. I never said get ripped. No, but you wanted to lose a little bit of weight. I have! All right, okay. No, I'm not saying you haven't.

Well, it doesn't sound like that, mate. Well, I didn't think you had any weight to lose, but you're happy. How is your fitness journey, by the way? How's it going? Yeah, good, actually. Yeah. The other day, I thought, I do look good for a 41 year old. And then I thought, what's wrong with me? So are you trying to to bulk up lose weight or get a bit of definition what you're after?

I'm just trying to look good be happy with myself. Okay. Okay. It's fine I don't know what your aim for what kind of because I always think you look quite good I think you look really sort of like no, I'm happy with that. I take wiry. I was a bit doughy Bit doughy around the middle. Yeah, and around the cheeks. Jokes aside, I can't really see because you're on a grainy webcam. Yeah, yeah. If you want though, take your top off. Do you want me to take my top off?

If you want, if you want. No, I don't really want to. Do you want me to take my top off? Oh, I feel like you want me to want you to take your top off. No, I don't want you to want me to. If you want to take your top off, take your top off. No, I'm not going to take my top off. I don't want to take my top off.

Just pop it off. Well Or pull it off a bit. Anyway, sorry, go on about your tour. You look great. Washboard. That's what it's called, washboard. Yeah, it was the only thing that was in focus on this grainy webcam today. I could do it much sooner. What, the tour? I'm much more ready than I thought I would be Rob. Yeah, I think you always sort of are a bit so when is the I mean, we're talking around the house is it you're gonna announce the tour

next autumn. Next autumn. Yeah, that is a long way off, isn't it? Well, you brought yours forward, didn't you? Yeah, I was gonna start in the spring before I started this autumn. And actually, it's like, I'm at that point where I don't feel ready, but that's because it's not November yet. Yeah.

But it's a nice point where I've got loads of stuff. Cause I did an hour at Soho theater the other week and then there were still loads left over that I didn't do that. I did an hour the other day and that bit's left over. Yeah. So by November. I've got 14 months. You'll be bored of it by the time the tour starts. Well, I'm trying to cut down on my gigging.

Yeah, I think when we just do that, do one a week to keep your hand in, just don't gig loads and then... Tell you what though, it's going to be good when it happens. Fuck it, now. That's going to be a fine. But we are both overcompensators, Josh, so we need to reel it in. The last thing me and you will be is lazy when it comes to work. And our main problem is working too hard. So make sure you've got lots of breaks. Josh Birk- Which if you listen to this podcast will blow your mind.

But then this is the most popular thing we do. Josh Birk- Yeah, I know. Adam- The more relaxed and casual we are, the better we are. Josh Birk- Yeah, but we won't ruin our fucking lesson, will we? Adam- 40 months to go, the better we are. Yeah, but we won't ruin our fucking lesson, will we? I had 40 months to go and we only got an hour. What annoys me is there'd be people that are really shit strolling out of a crap show, not caring. I know.

For the next week, but you know, each to their own. But both shows would be great. You must be able to bring it forward a bit. Do you know what? I'm enjoying being chilled and I can just do other stuff. And I did think if I get a load too much stuff, I've started the next tour, haven't I? Exactly. Just log it up.

Do you know what I'm not going to do? What? Is a show that's too long. So this is my plan. I don't know what people think about this. When you hear about a comedian doing two and a half hours, fucking Nora. So I cannot accept it. If a show starts at eight o'clock, I just do not think it should finish layer and 10.

Absolute layers. I'm actually a quarter to 10. I aim to finish at about 22, quarter to 10. And you haven't got support, have you? I don't have support. So I'll go out and do about, I basically do an hour and a half, spread over two halves. So sometimes I'll do 45, break 45.

But if the crowd, if it's like a Tuesday and the crowd have run straight from work and they're a little bit like need another drink, I might do 20 minutes break and then I go and do an hour because they sometimes need another drink to calm down and warm up a little bit if they've been busy. So I try and do that. And then that way I sort of finish it around 20 to 10.

And I think especially because most people are 20, 30 minutes from the venue, if it's like a town somewhere, if you're owned by 10, you're buzzing in. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Imagine a show finishing at quarter to 11, you say they're going fucking hell mate, I've got to get up for work in the morning. I've had a bit of a laugh, leave it out. You don't need too much. You just want absolute brilliance for

like the right amount of time. Yeah, I don't know if I can do absolute brilliance for 90 minutes. There may be a couple of bits where it drops off where I say what do you do for a living, mate? Yeah, of course. Bit of shit crowd work to pump a bit of energy. Exactly, Rob, exactly. I was gonna say-

Oh, bandsaw. Fucking bandsaw. Nothing I can do about it. You need some soundproofing. Oh, the bandsaw's stopped. Right, let's go. Do you want some boomer parenting, Rob? Yes, please, Josh. Hi, Rob, Josh, and Michael. Oh, there's the The bandsaw stopped. Let's go. Do you want some boomer parenting, Rob? Yes, please,

Josh. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Oh, there's the fucking bandsaw. I do apologize. Nothing I can do about it. Growing up, my dad was always dead set against getting us pets. No matter how much we begged and negotiated, he would not budge. So imagine our surprise when he was collecting us from school one Friday and told us there were two pets waiting for us at home. We were ecstatic. As soon as we got home, we raced to the bathroom where he'd left the pets whilst collecting us and discovered two large lobsters swimming in the tub.

We named them Clicky and Snappy. No, George, please. We were six and nine. After the initial shock wore off, we began questioning where the lobsters were gonna live or whether we would now be having showers instead of baths. With a cackle, my dad tells us not to get too attached and that he was setting up their new lodgings in the kitchen.

We go downstairs, but all we see is a large pot of water on the stove. I'm sure you've now realised where this is going. After several hours of crying and tantrums, we were sent to bed early while he and the guest dined on clicky and snappy. He still believes that it was hilarious. I believe this incident is why my younger sister is still a vegan. All the best, Ellen.

Well, I don't think that's funny. People are weird, aren't they? Josh, as well. I've got some school gate shaggers which we absolutely love. Oh, talk to me, yes please. And also, we haven't still haven't done the meme challenge where I play you a meme and you've got to guess what the next one is. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. Should we try and do that after? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do some school gate shaggers.

Hey Rob, Josh and Michael, love the podcast, been listening from the beginning, keep it sexy and relatable. Here's some content for you, please keep me anonymous. We found out my dad was having an affair with another mum from school when a girl in my sister's class came over to the playground and said that oh this is awful Josh your daddy slept over at our house last night. Oh my god nothing like shitting on your own doorstep feel free to use your artistic license to take the piss out of this. That's mental. Because there's kids in the house. Go to a travel lodge or just have a quick one in the

car. You can't be sleeping over with the... obviously, I think some of these people want to be caught. Yeah. Because they're too scared to tell the person. Oh my god. It's a coward's way out. Oh my god. It was 25 years ago and the dust and divorce has settled. It's so, look, don't have an affair. But if you're gonna have an affair and for an affair with someone that's not the same school, there's so many other people to shag out there. Do you know what I mean? But do you think there's something about it that turns these people on? The thought of it's taboo. It's the worst thing you could possibly do. It's like meeting up at the school sports day and going behind a tree. Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's mental. That's surely never happened. Fucking someone having an affair behind a tree. They're not shagging. Not shagging.

Having a little smooch. Yeah, you know, like it's like, should we get to pick up five minutes early and be the first two there or whatever? Yeah, it's that kind of people are just lazy and they're just stood there. She's all right.

Yeah, fuck you know, just see if she's good. I promise to actually do anything else. Too tired to go to a club. Do people go to the club to meet people anymore? Oh, I'm so glad I don't have to ever meet anyone ever again. Well, yeah.

If Rose leaves me, do you know what? I just can't be bothered. Single, fine. Single forever. You? No, I'll probably put it about a bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, why not? At the gigs?

No, if Lou left me, do you know what I'd do? I'd not have a relationship, anything serious until the girls are grown up. Because I feel like... They're already getting used to one step dad, they don't need a step mom as well, right? Yeah, well, there's another 10, 12 years of... And then they're at uni, and then I can start actually having a proper relationship.

But I think I can still go out for a drink with people now and again and casual stuff, but not anything serious where they meet anyone till they're older, I don't think. Because I just feel like it's such a short period of time I've got with them. But you know, it's easy for me to say that I'm not in the position, but yeah, I think I just probably wouldn't bother anything serious. Now, because I've been married 10 years. And if Lou were to leave me, I'd be quite happy to be not married for 10 years. And then go again. But I'm happily married at the moment and I don't

want anything to change but drop that in late in the conversation. I am very happy being in a very good place at the moment. Yeah, sort of get on with each other when we go out for dates. We've like each other sort of get on with each other when we go out for dates. Yeah, because I. Sort of get on with each other when we go out for dates. Yeah, because I see some couples, I think you two hate each other, don't you? Yeah, oh my gosh.

This is quite palpable. This has gone toxic. If you were a football manager and a club owner, you'd have been in mutual agreement. You're a Gareth Southgate in the England team. Yeah, yeah, basically. Look, it was great, it's not anymore. Let's both move on for the good of us. Let me find these memes. So do you think other people of our age are into these memes, Rob? I think people must.

I think you are older than the average person on TikTok. Maybe, but I'm not TikToking. You must know that we did for the Huckster girl. No. She's like worldwide famous. But not in my world. Well, what is your world? But I don't go on TikTok.

No, but she's beyond TikTok. Not as a point. Not as a point. I just don't fight myself on there. People are shouting Huxer at stuff. You know what I mean? It's becoming like this one. Moving band that makes a man go crazy every time. Oh, you gotta give him that Hux. Do it. Get on that thing. I've never heard that before in my life. Really? I don't think anyone at home

will have heard these things. Michael, have you heard that? Yeah, I mean, I'm not across the memes, but I'm amazed you haven't heard that one. It's literally everywhere. It's everywhere. People are doing it in like on other websites. People are going like, you've got to give it a hockter. The Formula One would do it about when they see someone who's shining a car. It's like not knowing about Cat Bin Lady. Yeah. I know about Cat Bin Lady.

Yeah, I know, but now. Or Charlie Bit My Finger. Remember Charlie Bit My Finger? Yeah, I never really found that funny, Charlie Bit My Finger. I thought it was incredibly overrated. Okay, well, that's fine. I was aware of it. Michael, I think it's a good barometer, because I'd say Michael isn't like young. No offence, Michael, you're slightly older than us.

You are aware of stuff that's in the ether. I think you're quite good with pop culture. Would you say, Michael, even if you're not into it? I'd say that's fair. So where are you hearing about Hukta? It's on every social media platform everywhere. Everyone was trying to find out who she was and then you surely that you let it out. It wouldn't come a second sneeze. I've never seen anyone swallow a sneeze like that. That's not good.

I didn't try to get it out. I was trying to get it out. It looked like someone had lifted a curse in the middle of that sneeze. You never had to sneeze again. I wanted to sneeze. I couldn't do it. You know about the sprite challenge, don't you? Yeah. You know about that, Michael, don't you? Yeah, I do. People down upload to sprite and then they just burp, which is quite funny. Now I've saved this thing. This is Guy the Wolf from Traitors. Do you know, have you heard of the traitors?

I love the traitors. Okay, sorry. I just didn't know what you are into or what you're not into. That's all. Well, that's a TV show, isn't it? So I'm across that. Will from the Traitors Does a Thing goes, which meme do you quote daily? So if I was to say to you, I'm claustrophobic, Darren? No. Okay. Michael, do you know about I'm claustrophobic, Darren? No, I don't know that one. This one?

I'm claustrophobic, Darren! No. Darren. No, I don't know that one. This one. No, no. Okay, that's Gemma Collins gun. I'm claustrophobic Darren. Okay. I'm looking for a man in finance, Josh. No, you must know that one. I'm looking for a man in finance. 65 Michael. Yes, I do know that one. Yeah, that one's this is huge. It's been in people know about these things been remixed into songs. But I don't listen to those songs. But there's like brands like Reese are doing a thing where they're employing people to dress in finance guy suits and dance in front of the reshots and is their advertising campaign.

I've not walked past a recent months. Okay. So it's this. I'm looking for a man in finance trust fund. That girl. No, she just sings it. So I just don't understand where where I'm looking for a man in finance with trust fund. That girl, she just sings it. So I just don't understand where I'm going wrong. I look at Instagram. This is it. Finance, trust fund, six five, blue eyes, finance, trust fund, six five, blue eyes. I'm looking for a man, I'm looking for a man, I'm looking for, looking for, looking for, looking,

finance, trust fund, six five. Trust Fun. Six-five. Blue Eyes. That was massive. And so she just said that and then people jumped on it? Yeah. And it's basically gone huge and then she put it on songs. Like the Hock-Turk girls are on stage at the country music festivals. I'm not at the country music festivals. She's got a merch range. She's selling tops with Hock-Turk, Spill and that thing on it, stuff like that. I just don't know who these people are. I'm trying to find another one for you. Bye bye driver. Bye bye

driver. Bye bye. No. Michael, do you know bye bye driver? I don't know that one. You could have made all of these up. What about what a sad little life Jane? Yeah, yeah, that's from Come Dime With Me. Here we go. You've got a couple. That's it. It's like the older one. But that's basically famous memes. Yeah. Okay. What a sad little life, Jane. Yeah, we know that one. So is Wilf from the Traitors now a big thing?

He's got his TikTok channel. And is it popular? Yeah, pretty popular. I don't know. Wilf website, 400,000 followers, 17 million likes, a couple of 15 million videos. I liked Wilf. If anyone's got more memes you want to check with Josh? I just don't know how I should be across these. So where are you getting them Rob? TikTok, Instagram, other people saying them. Other people saying them? Yeah so like if someone don't like something, go oh brother,

brother oh. What? That's a meme, someone's on the internet that's gone viral saying that so then it turns into pop culture. I'm into pop culture. So for example, if I picked up the phone, right? Ring you ring me ring ring. I answer. Yeah. What's up? Yeah. Yeah. If you've done that, I never hung up. I want to know. Yeah, what's up? Yeah. Yeah. And that's from Bob Weiser commercial. Yeah. And then it seeped into popular culture. Yeah, I understand. I understand what popular culture is and how. Commercial. Yeah. And then that seeped into popular culture. Yeah, I understand what popular culture is and how it works.

Yeah. So what I'm saying is you are out the loop. I am. Nothing wrong with that. But I'm just saying you are. Yeah. So do you think that's problematic for my life? So the way I look at it is if I'm doing a stand up or on my radio show on here and I'm

talking about things, if I want to be able to connect with younger people or understand what's going on, then I don't want to be this sort of like groovy guy of a skateboard. But imagine being like when we were younger, a 40 year old and you went, what's up? And they didn't know what that was. You'd look at them like they're insane. But the other side of it is if I'd seen a 45 year old saying, what's up? Yeah, I'd have gone, you're a fucking loser. I mean, what's up is a terrible example because a 45 year old saying what's up, I'd have gone you're a fucking loser mate. I mean, what's up is a terrible example because it involves you screaming, what's up every time you pick up the

What's up. Everyone that did what's up was a complete ****. Let's be honest. Us watching Ben Elton do his thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought no, come on. But even at the time people did. They were horrible. Yeah, they were. I want to be aware of what that is

and why kind of thing. Right. Okay. That's why I sort of try and be aware of anything that's cropping up. Right. Yeah. Hello, it's me Jessica N Knappett and here, here, here, here, brand new podcast alert. I've got a new show for you. It's called Perfect Day. And yeah, you've figured out the premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart and because it's obvious. Every Thursday, I interview a guest about what constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams, fantasies and sweet memories, you're going to love this stuff. Ah! We have got so many lovely, funny, nice people on. Your Ramesh Ranganathan's, your Dolly Alderton's, your Jamali Maddox's, Arabella Wearsh's doing it.

Don't worry about the quality of the guest, just worry about when you're going to listen to it. Or don't worry about when you're going to listen to it. Just actually listen to it. See you soon. Jess Knapp here signing off, wishing you a perfect day. Perfect day on all your favourite podcast platforms. I watched a good film about the GameStop thing, you know, when they artificially inflated the price of GameStop. Oh yeah. I can't remember what it's called, Dumb something.

It's a really good film about how this guy, a YouTuber, basically was just advising people to buy GameStop and it was going up and up and up and then they earnt like 300 million out of it and a hedge fund or thing on Wall Street went bankrupt. Oh really? Yeah, it's quite interesting. Oh what? Yeah, that's interesting. Anyway, correspondence, back to correspondence.

Back to correspondence. I think I'm obsessed with you and memes. I know. And it's because I've signed out of life. You're too young for that. I haven't consciously tapped out. You could only be interested in what you're interested in. Yeah, but you are interested in popular culture.

I am interested in certain things. Popular culture from the 80s. Yeah, I know, of your era of it. But then at the time you was interested in it then. So is it nostalgia driven or is it you do, like when you were that age, you'd just like to know what was going on, but it's now you don't like to know what's going on. You like the nostalgia.

Yeah. Then conversely, I'm interested in new music. What's your favorite SZA song? I found her of Glastonbury performance quite boring. And what was your favorite song of the set? Well, I only watched about three and then I turned over. You're into new music. Yeah, but not SZA. What, the biggest download streaming artists of the year?

Yeah, but that's all right. I think the Ray album is incredible if you want me to stick my colors to the mast of popular music. You just said to me you're into new music. Yeah, I am. I think that's what Scissor's done, the headliner of Glastonbury,

which is one of the biggest artists for young people over the last year. I know, but what I'm saying, Rob, Yeah, yeah. Is you go, you're into new music. Do you like that? Not really. That doesn't mean you're not into new. That's like, I don't know about it. I like new films. I didn't enjoy Oppenheimer. I thought you were into new films.

What's your favorite Central Sea song? Well, I can tell you that Rob. He's Googling. Well, I'm not saying I'm into new music for young people. What I mean is you keep track of the things you're interested in. No, not at all. You can't call Blur I'm into new music for young people. What I mean is you keep tracking the things you're interested in. No, not at all. You can't call Blur's new album new music. I'm not calling Blur's album new music, Rob. Sorry, God. No, I'm only winding you up, Josh.

No, I know. No, I just find it interesting because you are you love all those. You know, I am into culture. I'm hugely into culture, but I just can't get into social media culture. Well, yeah, that is the part of new culture. So, for example, quickly, Kevin, is the epitome. That is almost like an old school meme where someone might call a podcast huckter

and where they talk about all the mad memes from the 2020s. I think I'm now interested in the past. Isn't that bad? No, not at all. There's no judgment. It's more just like, I find it interesting because you're so, you are like the king of like niche pop culture of a certain period. But it's like you just pull the drawbridge up.

Well, no, I haven't because there's various things I'm still letting in. Okay. What's coming in? The new Blurr album? No, not Blurr. I like loads of new music. What new music do you like? I think the new Fontaine's DC single is probably the best song of new music. What new music do you like? I think the new Fontaine's DC single is probably the best song of the year. Who are the Fontaine's DC? They're an Irish band who I'd say are probably,

I'd say they're probably quite big now. They closed the Park stage at Glastonbury this year. They're very big. This is their fourth album, so they're not that new. And then they are new. 2017 they started. I did get really into the Ray album off She Won The Brits Rob. I thought, do you know what I did? I thought, yeah, I'm gonna seek this out. And I thought this is really good. I basically listened to the new stuff that's on six music, Rob.

That's what I do. Basically the new stuff on six music. That's what I listened to. But what I mean is I haven't pulled the draw up on that. I'm not just listening to the same music. I don't just read the same books. I don't just watch the same TV. So I watch Succession or The Barrel, the other shit that everyone watches. But my absolute blind spot is memes. Well, because I suppose really memes is almost taken over from big moments of TV. Totally.

There's no such thing as big moments of TV anymore, really. Well, like Cat Slayer, you ate my mother. Exactly. Huge moment, but now it's coming through on social media. The monoculture is dead, isn't it, Rob? Where everyone watched the same thing is dead. It's just loads of little tiny tribes. It's loads of little tiny tribes.

Apart from the probably eight billion people that know about the Huk-Tur. Exactly. Everyone but me. I don't know if your mum and dad would know about Huk-Tur, spit on that thing. They wouldn't know. Was yours? No. My dad's 80.

Right, a couple of bits of correspondence. Yep. Slipping on a banana skin. Here we go. Slash discarding food waste off the back of me throwing a banana skin out of a window. You said someone must slip on it. And we were told I shouldn't do that because you should only throw it.

What was I saying? If it grows there, throw there. Yeah, yeah. So you can throw an apple core into an English hedge. We chatted about hedges for a bit. Yeah. Anyway, hi, both. Just listening to the latest podcast, we talk about how banana skins aren't that slippy and just thought I'd share my story. My grandmother many years ago was walking down

to the shop and passed a banana skin on the floor. She didn't pick it up and instead tutted about how horrible it was to drop rubbish and that someone would slip. Lo and behold, on the way home, when it was a little slip low and behold on the way home when it was a little darker, she stood on the banana skin slipped and broke. God, she slipped and broke both her arms. Fuck off. How do you break both your arms on a banana skin?

Well, I would answer that. Thank you. Osteoporosis. Oh no. And some of the things you may have sort of vulnerable to breakages. What is osteoporosis? My grand had it and she used to have to take stuff for it. And she'd say like bloody osteoporosis.

I think it was just like fragile bones really. Fragile. I would say now, and I don't want to pour blame on the victim here, which is a very horrible story, that if you do have osteoporosis, you can't even say, you can't really keep your eyes on the floor in you. Especially when you know there's already banana skin there from earlier, but I'm sorry you broke both your arms. Will Barron So she'd walked past it on the way. Jason Vale Yeah, I went, oh, that's bad. Someone should pick that up.

Will Barron Oh my god. Jason Vale And then on the way back, a little bit darker. She still had banana skin, broke both her arms. So I can confirm they're pretty slippy. Thank you for such a wonderful podcast. It got me through many a car journey with two boys, two and nine months. Oh, you're in the war zone there, Lucy and Hywydcombe. Love to your nan as well. And what's the score with when you break both your arms?

Yeah. Are you like that? Are your arms out? You can't have double sling. That's like you're in the West Amfad. Are you irons? You irons? Because if you were slinging off a broken arm, that can't work.

So what are they like? Did they tell you about the guy that broke, he tried to slam dunk at school and injured himself? No. I don't know if you can say his name. They're always up to now. Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan.

No, a LeBron. He was quite a tall guy anyway, but he wanted to slam dunk. So someone bent over and he was going to run, jump off their back and slam dunk. That was the plan. But he was only in like year nine or 10. He's probably about six foot, but that was big for that age. Anyway, he runs up and does it. And as he does it, he whacks his arms so hard on the rims, trying to get it in, he breaks both wrists. And then when he lands, he breaks his ankle. So he was on crutches but also had two wrist cuts. Oh, he's gonna break your wrist as a teenage boy I tell you that for free.

I say like the no wanking comments he got was absolutely what are you doing with your good ankle? Stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, good stuff. Poor fella broke both his wrists and his ankle trying to slam dunk. My gosh that is fucking pathetic. Did he get it in? I think everyone's distracted by three bones breaking. Fuck it. One movement.

Would you feel guilty if you were the guy with the back? No, if you were literally the stooge and you are the rock, you know, unless he stood up halfway, but if you've remained still, you're blame free. That's very much on the dung dung. There's a blame, there's a claim. If he sees the guy with the back. Big footprint on his back. Have you ever broken a bone? I broke my wrist playing football.

Yes, I do. And my mum sent me to bed with a bag of peas. Oh no. She regretted that the next day. Also happened to my brother as well, he broke his arm. My mum sent him to bed with a bag of peas. But yeah, I got sent to bed with a bag of peas and next day it was all over place. So I had a cast there and I've broken, I ripped all my ligaments in my ankle of peas. But I got sent to bed with a bag of peas, and next day, it was all over the place. So I had a cast there, and I've broken, I ripped all my ligaments in my ankle playing football.

Really bad that was a few years ago, because I sprayed my ankle since, I didn't realize how bad it was, but I heard them all pop out, it snapped. They all snapped. That was a real dark period of my life, because you ended up going to take a penalty at AC Milan, because I was booked to do League of their own road trip.

Yeah. And then I got cancelled out of all the shows and that was my first proper booking of you'd already done last leg, which was a regular gig. And the weird thing with it was. Yeah. Geri Halliwell was doing it because of you. Yes, because I'd been working with her before on something. So then she's got teamed up with you.

Did I replace you or was I going as well? I think you were going already, but then you ended up doing more to cover for me. But that was my first proper gig, because all my other gigs have been like one mock the week or stuff like that. So I was, yeah, honestly, the money I lost from that ankle break was having to tell Lou I couldn't do that job. We sat there, we had, also we had like a three month old and a two year old and I'm sat on the sofa she's bringing me lunch and I've just lost

thousands and thousands of pounds oh my god that was that was bad that was bad but it all turned out well in the end but yeah I've never broken anything else luckily apart from that no few cuts and bruises what have you broken? Broke my wrist. It was when I was doing work experience. Well as arm wrestler. We played football at lunchtime. And I just saved a shot point blank range and it bent my wrist back. Oh, that's the worst way isn't it? Yeah. Just so pathetic. Five, the ball to break your wrist.

I can't go and go away. I've got weak wrists. I stayed in goal because I thought it took me a long time to realise I'd broken my wrist because Well because also you're not doing as long as you're not doing too much with it, it's not that painful straight away. It's only when you try and move it around and it gets more painful later on. Fucking nightmare.

Fucking nightmare. Right, let's do a small business shout out, Josh, shall we? How about emailing the most stupid way you've broken a bone. Oh, yes, please. You're back on form, Josh. There we go. You're flying. Here we go. Hi, Robin and Josh. We would love a small business shout out for our

project, the Strawberry Line Cycle Project and Bike Hire. Catchy. It's based in North Somerset. Is that near you, North Somerset? No, I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I suppose it is, but... Well, these guys are a not-for-profit organisation that employs people with learning disabilities and additional needs and provides vocational support sessions for young people with disabilities. We have a great range of bikes available for hire. Adults, children bikes, children children seats, trailers, trikes,

e-bikes and tandems, hand cycles, co-riders and many other options for riders with additional needs. Based on the strawberry line cycle path allows riders to enjoy 11 miles of traffic free cycling through Somerset countryside. This sounds like fun because I want to take the kids on a bike ride but it's just so dangerous through country lights. We also have a cafe on site again, employing young people with learning disabilities. Oh my word. Here you can fill up from our breakfast menu before heading out for a day cycling. Good on it.

Visit our website, strawberrycycles.com at strawberry line project on Instagram or Facebook on strawberry line cycle project. Thank you, Sally. That's a good little summer holiday thing to go and do if you're nearby. Nice stuff. Nice stuff. That's the Strawberry Line Cycle Project and by Kaya in North Somerset. Hi, Rob and Josh. I would absolutely love it if you'd be able to shout out my little sister's florist business in Bedfordshire, the Petal Home. My sister took the plunge last year and committed to making

bespoke flower arrangements for all occasions. I'd love to get her name out there even more to do my bit. She has a real passion for floristry and making people smile with her talent. Find her pictures or arrangements, Instagram at the Petal Home or TikTok, Rob. Oh, here we go. The Petal Home. P-E-T-A-L Home. The Petal home. P E T A L home. The Petal home on both any sport be hugely appreciated. And earn me some cracking big brother points. Keep doing your thing, guys. Thank you for the last. Thank you.

Lucas Yates. Cheers, Yates. Right, Josh, you are a tired boy today. I'll see you next time. Fucked. Get some sleep. I'm going back to bed. Bye. Hello, it's me, Jessica Knappett and here, here, here, here, brand new podcast alert.

I've got a new show for you. It's called Perfect Day. And yeah, you've figured out the premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart and because it's obvious. Every Thursday I interview a guest about what constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams, fantasies and sweet memories, you're going to love this stuff. Ah, we have got so many lovely funny nice people on.

Your Ramesh Ranganathan's, your Dolly Alderton's, your Jamali Maddox's, Arabella Weirshe's doing it. Don't worry about the quality of the guest, just worry about when you're gonna listen to it. Or don't worry about when you're gonna listen to it, just actually listen to it. See you soon. Jess Knapp here, signing off off wishing you a perfect day. Who is the most impressive Welsh person? What's the best thing to wear on your feet? And what supermarket would Jesus shop at? Guestamators, the weekly interactive quiz show is back for a brand new series with me Andy Bush and our quiz master, Statman Matt.

We've surveyed the nation and now we're grilling our celebrity guests to see if they can tap into the collective brains of Britain. Past guests include Lloyd Griffith. If you're taking that into the shower, I mean I know the NHS is stretched but go and see your doctor. I've never been asked to join a pub quiz team because I think people really detest the way I become. Like we just spent 15 minutes talking about how long the guest donation spends on the loo, you know? That's not normal.

As Italians go, he's probably a bit more famous than Pablo Picasso, isn't he? If you put your purse on the floor, you'll end up poor. That's the rhyme. Everyone knows it. To listen to the show and play along at home, you know what to do. Go to guestamators.com.