Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP8: Laura Smyth

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Laura Smyth. Laura Smyth will embark upon her debut UK tour of Living My Best Life from 4th April until 27th October. Tickets are available from https://laurasmyth.com/pages/tour-dates Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening Can you say Rob Beckett? Close. Can you say Josh Widdicombe?

Okay. Weirdly, you can say Ramesh Ranganathan perfectly. There you go. That's Joel Domet from South Wales. That was him and his son. We've got to get him back, haven't we? Yeah. Even his voice is sexy.

Joel? Yeah, obviously Joel. That would be weird if I'd... That baby voice was something else. Oh, God. Yeah, no, we've got to get back on yeah thanks for that joel right let's do some correspondence let's do some correspondence right here we go hi josh rob michael love podcast only thing that kept me sane and made me forget my stressful pregnancy for a little bit of time which i'm very grateful heart emoji i have a boomer story for you well I say boomer but I suppose it could be neglect okay I'm from Tembi but now live in New Zealand when I was 10 years old we went on a family holiday to Nuki Cornwall one day my brother 12 years old wanted to go to play mini golf but I wanted to go to Nuki Zoo now most parents would divide and conquer but

oh no not my parents instead they decided to go with my brother with their mini golf but instead of making me go with them they drove me to the zoo dropped me off with some cash and let me go in on my own how old was he 10 years old this was kirsty oh my god how old is she now it's be good to well she's moved to new zealand which tells you a lot. Some would say there's a favourite child in the family. Here we go. Anyway, I had a great day and now I'm super independent so it probably did me good, more good than bad. Keep what you're

doing, guys. It's good to know that we're all in the same boat. Because if I was a parent, right, I'm going not just the Divide and Conquer, but the zoo is better than the mini-golf. Also, I've done mini golf. Unless you're really bad, you can do that in the morning. How many fucking holes is it?

Or maybe it's cheaper, though, for an adult not to go to the zoo, just for a child. Maybe that was it. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't want to besmirch new kizu but how good is new kizu yeah i doubt it's so good that you could really put a like 100 pound premium on it i remember my brother and i got dropped when we were on holiday in south wales my parents wanted to do

something but this i'd have been 13 and my brother would have been 16. And we went to the crystal maze experience and my parents were like, I'm not doing that. Yeah. I think that's okay. We got lost in the crystal maze. Oh, no. Oh, God. And then, like, we could hear people shouting our names, like the staff,

because we hadn't turned up at the next room. How old were you? I would have been about 12, 13, and my brother would have been three, he's three and a half years older than me. Right, yeah. About 16. No, that's fine. I think if you could drop two teenagers off somewhere.

Yeah, yeah, totally. But not a 10-year-old on their own at this fucking zoo. It's dangerous, the zoo. I mean, what are you doing as a 10-year-old at the zoo? Are you getting your own lunch? Can a 10-year-old do stuff? Because obviously I haven't really spent much time with a 10-year-old recently.

No, not since you're a co-year-old do... Because obviously I haven't really spent much time with a 10-year-old recently. No, not since the cold. In 200 yards, I'm not allowed within 200 yards of a 10-year-old. Even waiting in the industrial estates, but just loads of bloke's turned up with Facebook Live cameras on. I don't want to go bowling, mate. What's up with bowling? Could a 10-year-old buy their own lunch? Well, it depends what they're buying.

If they're buying a pack of cigarettes, no. Yeah, I think if I saw a 10-year-old in a zoo, like, buying food, I'd probably report that. I'd go, I think there's a 10-year-old on their own walking around the zoo. Yeah. I don't think that's so true. They're not buying fucking lunch as well, let's be honest. You are absolutely off your head on E-numbers by the end of that journey.

There's a tenner just to spend on sweets. All right, I've got another boomer here. Hi, Rob and Josh. My dad was an alpha boomer and didn't mess around with safety belts when driving to the shops. So seatbelts. He used to call them safety belts. On one occasion, he turned too quickly on a bend

and eight-year-old me slid across the back seat and knocked the door open, falling out of the car my god oh my god i landed luckily on the curb side remarkably unhurt if not a bit dazed i vividly remember my dad turning around in his seat and looking at me on the curb then laughing and driving 50 meters down the road to turn around oh my god when he finally came back he said what you doing down there stinker his lovable nickname for me before getting me into the car and making me promise not to tell mom he's put mam m-a-m there because he's from durham oh yeah he bought a whole six pack of gold bar biscuits for us to eat which he ate five folks a monster thanks for the laughs and being sexy relatable danny from durham

fucking i don't think you could do that if you were filming like a movie and you were like so the stunt is the child that or you even with an adult they've got to slide across hit the door go out and land on the curb i think that's a tough stunt to pull off yeah because it's like you've got to do a lot there you've got to go so fast around the corner, you slide all the way. I'm assuming leather seats. No armrest down to stop you. And then you've got the door. Hit the door open.

And it's also, in hitting the door, you've got to not lose momentum enough because you'd think you'd hit the door open. And bounce back. Yeah. Well, that's what we've got these the thing is though we're gonna our kids are gonna tell stories about what we did when i took my kids to the shops in a cart thing that we bought to go into music festivals and for picnics and i tried to pull them up the curb and they both fell out and bang their heads yeah i told you about that but and

that was something like hey you could write that back and then they dragged me in a cart down the shops anyway so we we've got opened up the am i a modern boom a cart down the shops anyway so we've got opened up the am i a modern boomer uh section haven't we so we've got one here trying to find out so we want your opinion on this josh hi robin josh am i a modern boomer if i am let me tell you sometimes it works in the mornings when i'm trying to get everyone in the car i would send my son who's six to the car and he wouldn't get in the car and get strapped in he would mess about so much while i was locking the house getting his sister strapped in putting the bags in the car he has still not strapped himself in he never did it which he can do i lived on a very long quiet road so he wasn't strapped in so i drove about 30 seconds down the road and slammed my

brakes on for a seat belt check as i like to call it he flew forward into the sea i must stress he was absolutely fine but it was a bit of a shock. And now he gets in the car and puts his belt on straight away. Oh, my God, you are a boomer. And he knows the importance of wearing a seatbelt. A victory for boomers, I say. Now, this is key, anonymous, because you know that's fucking wrong. Let me break this down.

You are busy with another child. That six-year-old has not asked you to have another child. So have another child. It shouldn't take your attention away from that six-year-old not asked you to have another child so have another child shouldn't take your attention away from the six-year-old i think it is annoying keep asking them to do things but when you're in the car you know the seatbelt's not on it is still the parent's responsibility to go put the seatbelt on yeah i don't think giving them a sort of traumatic memory is a way to go around reminding them. No. Do you know what I mean? I'd say.

But it works. Yeah, okay. Right, well, that's, you know. You go, like, my kid leaves the toilet seat up, and once I bog-washed them for 30 seconds just enough. Now they don't. Am I a boomer? Can I ask for a,

I know we don't do that. Can I ask for tips on something? Yeah, go on. From people. Not from anonymous because it will be strangle my daughter with their leggings. But it's a trial

to get my daughter clothes wise, some clothes that they'll be fine that day. The next day they they're making she doesn't like the feel of them on her legs yeah she's got we've we've narrowed it down to only the clothes she wants so but every day there's a drama about her leggings or her t-shirt or her cardigan or socks right there's a big one annoyingly we bought our days of the week socks

which she likes. If anything, that's added an extra thing we didn't need as a problem. Because now you're trying to find Tuesdays. Now we're trying to find Tuesdays. Yeah. What are the best tactics if your child, because it's not about what the clothes are.

Do you know what I mean? It's not buy bigger leggings. There's something else going on. What's the best tactic? Well, Anonymous has just emailed in and said, burn all her clothes on a bonfire and scream in their face children are starving in africa well my daughter was like that but she's sort of grown out of it slightly or i just give her the socks and go put them on and you put them on so they don't annoy you she's been doing we've been doing that like shit we now got to the point where it's like you get yourself dressed in your bedroom and now you come down because then you've got as long as you want to choose.

But it's still happening. Right. Well, I can't help you. If anyone out there knows, let us know. Thank you. So basically, how do you get your child to stop whinging? But what's the upshot? She's not getting dressed and she's delayed.

It takes 45 minutes for her to get dressed. Right. And you don't want to rush her and get in her head. But yeah. And she's like, I don't like to be rushed. And you're like, yeah,

but this is too long. This is too long. Have you taken a clothes shop in herself? And she gets to pick the clothes. So the clothes that are fine in the shop are then not fine. Right. Oh God, this is difficult,

isn't it? I'd say you are just staring down the barrel of what it's like to have a child and this will never change. And this is the problem with it. Because if those little things were solvable, this podcast wouldn't exist. Okay. It all doesn't make sense at all. I was driving the kids to school the other day and one of them went,

the day before yesterday when I was at so-and-so's house and the other one, that wasn't the day before yesterday, that was Wednesday, and then the other one, well, it was Thursday. And I just went, shut up, shut up, shut up. It doesn't matter what day. It has no bearing on the story. So just both agree that neither of you agree on the day and tell me the story.

And they went, okay. And it turned out the whole story was about it being bin day. So it did. But she still went, Wednesday instead of sister. I went and it started again. I never heard what it was about. Fucking hell, what a life. Right.

Time for a guest, Josh. Yeah. Now, Laura Smith, brilliant comedian. If you don't know her, you soon will. She's, I'd say, a very authentic comedic voice, super funny, working-class girl from East London, and she's got an amazing story, and she's got three kids, a 21-year-old and younger ones, five-year-old and eight-year-old.

So she's really funny and also a really interesting story about how she got into comedy, having the kids with such a big age gap, and also she had some serious health problems recently that she's luckily in recovery from. But yeah, she's an amazing, amazing person. And it was a great chat, wasn't it, Josh? Yes. Enjoy.

Laura, welcome to the podcast. We started straight in there. I know, but it's like, it's not even like, apparently now it's like, it's a support group right now. I've been treating it as a support group. Yeah, we normally do an intro, but we just didn't bother it was like we just started was mid slagging off uh the school run oh god i'm jealous of that tea um right laura tell us about your tell us about your setup at home myself how many kids you got ages three well i've got three and i'm doing

it both ends i got a 21 year old at home yep yeah and then i've got the and I'm doing it both ends. I've got a 21-year-old at home. Yep, yep. And then I've got the big gap and the eight and the five-year-old is where I'm at. Oh, wow. Right. Okay, right. So you are covering all bases there. Oh, mate.

Is the 21-year-old helpful? She's kind of helpful for the right price. You know what? I never thought that they, you know goes oh well you know like like for instance Saturday night we were invited to this Burns night and then we and we're getting the kids ready I'm ironing a tartan dress we're all ready to go and my friend who's hosting messages and says oh someone's just had to pull out because for some reason they thought kids were coming and I was like and so then we were like quickly like bribing the younger ones.

And then the eldest, I was like, I put it on her really. I was like, well, we've made the dessert. We're ready to go. And I offered her 30 quid to babysit, but she gave me this look that was like, I could name my price right now, couldn't I? Was she indoors anyway that night? Was she already staying? It was fine.

She's doing dry January. So it's like, because she is a little, she does like a night was she already standing she's doing dry january so it's like because she is a little she does like a night out she does so she's she's she's home she's been helpful this january actually and saving money and do they get do they get on then so is it more because it's such a big gap because i've got my dad so that my dad i've got two half brothers um who are a lot older so i don't know why you're what your gaps for but i was was with my dad was my reformer you're being careful yeah different dads babes it's all right yeah no but you know that's up to you if you want to say or not i'm telling you my story i just found out i'm from a blended family i thought it used to be called a broken home back in the day but that's real fucking nutri-bulleted with my brothers so they were almost like more

like uncles than brothers as such like but we didn't live with them because i was much older but yeah so is it more like an auntie relationship or cousin sister and they never feel more like siblings than when they argue and you know really the two like i was at the two elders so my oldest was my oldest my only child for a long time then she was like 12 13 obviously when the second one comes so it felt like having a first child twice sort of thing but then when the third one come along all of a sudden it felt like the you know the middle child really become the middle child the eldest really became the eldest and the little so in that in a weird way the three of

them have made it the kind of traditional dynamic no there's not an auntie thing really like they yeah they go in her room she's screaming um you know the little my little girl idolizes her wants you know the hair like her do you know so it's all i'm actually quite surprised by it actually that they are and it is it's when they're arguing in the back of the car they that's when they most feel like siblings and i like it and does your eldest go like are you a bit softer on the younger ones than you were with the eldest and she's like whoa i never had that you know i and yeah and and i know someone else my mate's got six kids and she's and and her eldest looks the way she treats the youngest and i mean yeah my elders cannot actually cope the things that they get away with i don't know you make living it's always a payoff in it you know

every all the stakes are high with your eldest anyway but especially i was a young single mum and i think i felt very like you know the stakes are high if you ain't got a lot of money the stakes are high if you see what i mean like if you've gone you've asked for that five pounds and i think there's stress related to it and you're trying to do it and yeah i don't know maybe i was a bit tough on her tougher on her but equally she had a lot more of my time the little ones don't have my time at all i mean so yeah she she's quite harsh on them but i think they need it yeah a little bit of reality check kind of thing. Well, because your career's amazing.

I think you're one of the best newer comics on the circuit and you're just going to go off and be household name. You're amazing. So thanks for doing this, for getting you in now, just before you get to... Thank you, I'm fine. You fuck us off. You had a child 21 years ago.

You've only been doing comedy a little while. You're already sort of smashing it and been on telly and stuff like that yeah so talk us through from like what was you doing when you had your your 21 year old and then you and how you managed to then sort of start this new career having all these kids and stuff like what talk us through that sort of path well you know everything changes when you have kids and all your priorities shift wherever you are in life. So when I was young, I didn't really know what I was doing. And, you know, I sort of dropped out of uni and I was working and I met my oldest dad. And it was all just a bit messy, really.

And I didn't really have much ambition. But when I had her, all of a sudden I knew I wanted more for her. Do you know what I mean? So I ended up bumping into my old A-level English teacher and she was sort of saying what you up to I'm just a single mum just this and you know it was sort of very typical sort of East London going through the sort of I'd split up with her dad and I was in temporary accommodation do you know I mean it was it was tough how old were you at that point Laura if that made me asking 20 so i was 20 when i had her 20 yeah just 20 when i was sort of 19 when i met was with her dad and then you know it always so then

i was sort of in temporary accommodation in in sort of on the on the council waiting list it was like pretty bleak really but you know she was a real sort of motivating factor and you know you know what it's like when you're young i don't know you know when you're like when i was young and it's sort of your mum and dad and all that it was like you know what do your parents do and i was like well a bit of this bit who's asking so i think i had the ambition to become a teacher you know i loved english and loved that and and lost my sort of confidence

and went back and did an English degree. And she was at the, I was at University of East London and she was at the nursery on the campus with like lecturers, kids and things like that. Oh, lovely. It was nice. And she was, and so we just sort of made it work, me and Rosie. I always, my mate Natalie, my best mate Natalie, she goes,

oh, we grew up with our elders because she had her elders at grew up with rosie yeah so yeah so my eldest so then yeah had her and then became a teacher like did my degree and what was that like at uni like because obviously other people are presumably at uni and they're like no the whole thing if you describe uni to me is like no cares do you know what i mean it's like freedom and so were you was it really weird for you in that sense like you must have been taking it really seriously because you're like if i'm gonna do this i'm gonna fucking do it do you know and i needed to take it seriously because like i said when i first went to uni i was just i just got on it for a year i didn't really know and it's funny i mean a lot of people go to pieces at uni the first time they go you'll either handle it but i thought i was confident i'm from a big family i thought i

was confident but you and also i don't think you realize you're working class till you go to uni you don't really think about it because everyone's in the same boat and you go to uni and you're like i couldn't understand people that were called tequin and were Welsh, but they didn't have a Welsh accent. I didn't understand how the people could be. I didn't get it. And I just didn't know who I was. I just didn't know who I was out of the context of my ends. Yeah, yeah.

It's quite a small world you're from, really, isn't it? You feel really confident and big, but actually you're only going a few miles and everyone you're related to you know and i found that when i went to dan's canterbury i was like oh so you do that and your mum and dad go there and oh that's an option or that's a thing and also like oh you go skiing but you just you talk fairly normally you're not like one of the princes yeah your world is blown open isn't it yeah and when you're young i mean when you know i've taken a long time to get to this and act to get to this sort of cop anyway we'll get to it when i get when it's comedy but i i don't think i could handle doing

comedy in my late teens early 20s because actually comedy is really um egalitarian if you're funny you're funny i don't care where you're from if you're Cambridge Footlights you know all the people I love then you're not funny but I feel like

class doesn't come into it when you find someone funny I can mug off all the posh comedians but if they're funny they're my favourite person do you know what I mean but it's like I write on Bad Education and I'm in there with Jack Whitehall I can mug off all the posh communities, but if they're funny, they're my favourite person. Yeah, yeah.

Do you know what I mean? But it's like I write on Bad Education and I'm in there with Jack Whitehall and Freddie Sybourne and I think, look at them. You know, and I'm at my seat at that table, I'm contributing as much, I'm writing, you know, and you think, that's a nice feeling. That don't make me think, oh, they got, oh, they had it easier than me. I just think whatever we've done in life or whatever we've had we're at the same table now do you know what i mean i don't think

like education and university and stuff not even for the academic degree i think if you're from a working class background it opens your eyes to the world yeah and you understand the different pressures you have but also the different pressures people from public school have because there's expectations i mean if you work in class you don't really have expectations so a freedom comes with that however there's no safety net to support that freedom yeah and that and and when you if you're there for a few years you can sort of understand it and your confidence comes up because if you go and do gigs when you're 18 you could be funny and you might have funny bones and be really funny but the rest of it like going into meetings or the the industry which is heavily middle class and privately educated you you're

completely lost and at sea and i went to uni and then did an events job in london and so when i started comedy when i was 23 i'd seen a bit of the world and seen a lot of posh events and stuff in london where you get free booze if i I'd had 18 and had the opportunities I had at 23 I would have fucked it and been an alcoholic because I'd be like, this wine's free let's fucking go, you know what I mean? So I made all those mistakes from 18 to 23 and then when I found comedy

and I think maybe your English degree helped you with that and you know but that must have been pressure having to get your baby up and ready and go into a crash and then go and study. It's like anything in life, it's only when you look back and go how the hell did i do that it's like when your kids are a bit older you go how did we handle it when they were three and five and how did our marriage survive but yeah so in answer to the long roundabout way because i found it all too overwhelming the first time josh i kind of by the time i kind of was like 22 23 doing my degree

it really did mean something and you know you know i still had mates and they all looked out for my oldest as well you know sometimes you're like you're coming for lunch yes or should we go for a drink what other students like be up for you know carrying the baby around because if if i'd had like when I was 19 and at uni, I'd have fucking shat myself if someone had handed me a baby. Oh yeah, she was four or five by the time. Oh yeah,

yeah, yeah. Four or five by the time. And, and she's just, she just always rolled. I think I just sort of thought, like,

I almost shirked mother and toddler groups. I was like, oh, I don't worry about her. She's just on my hip, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

And she's like that now. And she just rolls. So she she's so she's kind of cool but yeah so then i did so then she's kind of done an english degree at the age of four by just being there she has she's so well read because that's all i sort of i think that education reading and all that she's just like well she's been hanging out of all those lecturers kids isn't it her network's unbelievable she is bold i mean she's a little bit like rah where's my backy she's bold as brass she doesn't have any kind of there's no imposter syndrome with her she's like and i just said to him you know and i'm like who are you what did i create but then so then yes teaching then so that was sort of 2010, 2011, so she's getting on for like 9 to 10 now.

And then I met my husband, so that was all nice. It felt very box-ticky. You know, I'm teaching, then he became a teacher, and, you know, we're married and the kids, and it was just like this tick, tick, tick of what I wanted. I felt very like, oh, look at me. I'll go to John Lewis. Do you know what I mean?

But it was, it was very like, okay, cool. And I just knew it was very stressful. And I, and I've always wanted to do comedy. I used to go, um, I don't know if you remember going, um, Stratford theatre, or you said Monday nights, I don't know if you ever done that. That was the first place I died. First place I died. I'm sorry, that was probably us in the audience. We lived there. You know, 17, 18 to sort of mid 20s. We lived there because I loved it. Would you have been there in 2008?

Let's do the maths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, it was quite late. Oh no. When was that? It was almost, that was a tough gig Because it was almost like It was so local To East London So you'd have all the East Londoners there

Also as well A lot of the black community So it was half an urban gig It was Caribbean food They always served Caribbean food No one gave a shit About the comedy No

We were brutal So I'd go on a lot of The black circuit acts I would rip it Because there were Indifferences between Jamaicans and Ghanaians And I was like

I can see what's working And you were like I they're doing my material. But my mate Natalie, we were just talking. We were so pissed just talking. And he went, and he went, a comedian just in the end, he just went, why are you here? And she just turned around and she went, why are you here? It was the best withering take down.

But now I'm doing it I just think and I think I think that's probably one of the main things that stopped me ever doing comedy because I was thinking

I could never stand in front of them that was my only experience I mean I went to jugglers and things like that I can tell you now I didn't have the guts to ever go back

you know those comedians that go when I die somewhere I've got to go back I'm like no I've lost it's over i'm not doing never mind the buzzcocks again i fucked it up that's it i i'm not doing stratford theatre

royal or harper adams uni it's over there's done for me well they are but those i think i know what you're saying with those audiences we're like you know how bad you were as an audience member so the thought of you getting up went i don't have to perform in front of me pissed yeah i'm awful i remember being up the creek like i was i got so pissed watching up the creek then stayed for the nightclub after i was sick in the fucking urinal trough yeah and then went back to the dance and to sit there to watch the headliner i've like i'm just i'm on my ass it's disgusting yeah we used to do that um yeah backyard as well like we were there we'd go that was our night set. So I just loved it.

I've always loved it and never felt, but I always write routines in my head. I just love, I was so obsessed. And then I only admitted to my husband that I wanted to do it. And for a wedding gift, he bought me a day's writing course with Logan Murray. Oh, lovely. And I just loved it. And I just, you know know I was the teacher and then three kids and oh no two kids by then and Logan said something like oh I've never had a real job

yeah and I've done really a day's work and that was what was like oh and there was other comedians there some were just like oh I just did this as a top-up Edinburgh and I just felt like I was with my it was that first day that I'm with my people here. I felt it. Yeah. And I was funny. I got laughs. And then it was only after my third child then, and I was going back for maternity leave. And I just thought anyone that's had that proper full-time career, you know, in the public sector or any sector, but you go, I know once I go back, I won't come up for air. So if I don't do it, I'll never do it.

And I just was like, I booked the call. I booked the full, I booked,, you know, the six week course, whatever it is. I put it on a credit card, babes, you know, because you're on maternity leave. And I just went every Sunday.

I said, that's 2019. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, so, so,

so, and then, so you've done all this and there was a two year pandemic where you couldn't gig. I know. But I mean, the joke here, I mean,

I literally, I mean, cause it was, the trajectory was amazing because the end of April I started in March end of April we did the showcase and it was the 28th of April and someone filmed it and funny women awards their closing date was 30th of April so I submitted and I ended up winning it five months later I won the funny women awards and then I got signed and then and I got signed with Carly Peters and Maureen Vincent like French

and Saunders agent and I the year before was when I was watching French and Saunders 300 years of French and Saunders and that was one of the big things I thought I'm living the wrong life that's what I should have been doing amazing sure enough maureen vincent was at funny women awards and was taking care of me when i started as well so it was like our life can change and then it was all go go go and then the pandemic and then as soon as the pandemic was over and i was back at work i just had to hand in my notice then i didn't so september 2021 now two years later i was still able to quit work didn't go back to work and then i then found a lump in my breast i had breast cancer so i was like oh my god I know so it was mad and then I just kept going because I thought I'm not gonna fucking die I'm gonna keep going amazing

and and and how how are you now health-wise and stuff like that well you know you never anyone that knows anyone that's been through you're sort of waiting for that five-year mark but I was considered in remission after the surgery and everything else like the chemo radio Well, you know, anyone that knows anyone that's been through it, you're sort of waiting for that five-year mark. But I was considered in remission after the surgery and everything else, like the chemo radio, everything was sort of adjuvant to sort of protect me and I'm on like hormone blockers, so I'm like in the menopause. But. This is fun. How's that?

How's that? Well, ask my husband how it is. Justin Warhouse. He's got the best joke how it is Justin Warhouse he's got the best joke about it he goes we've got the menopause in our house she's on three patches she don't know about the third that's a really good joke

just patting you on the back as you leave bye that's exactly what he does it's a perfect joke and I howled because when I talk about the menopause and how mad i am on it on in in um you know the clubs or whatever it's the men that are sitting with their wives going yeah they're almost relieved again oh yeah that's you you're mad you can't say that because i think when my experience of being around people in the menopause which is

trying to say that as diplomatically as possible, is that I think it's sort of like, I don't think sometimes you realise you're in it when you're in it, if you're in the menopause. And because of the hormones, and even if you do realise you're in it, you don't really accept that you're in it or admit it. And then if people bring it up, that really doesn't help.

No. I think you've really well talked around the subject, Rob. And I don't think your mum's going to have any issue with the way you do it. There's more than one. I say, the material I have about it is that it's like being gaslit by your own body because it's hormones, but you're feeling it. So I don't know whether all the rage is hormones or if my husband is in actual fact a stupid fucking useless

and never fucking listens. What I found was I could deal with sort of giving a bit of space to someone. What I struggled with is when every window's in the house and it's so cold and I won't even say, should we shut the door? Or I might just put a jumper on and then you'd get and you're hot and then you have to sort of go like what lie about your own

heat because then by being put in a jumper it's almost a passive-aggressive dig to go you're too you're too hot we're all cold you know i just think women you just go through it you know when you're menstruating you go through it when you're pregnant you go through it when you give birth you go through it and then then what's waiting for you at the end obviously mine's come early is this menopause and then you think that's not fair to be a slave to your hormones and i will i mean i i don't know what any feminist would say to this or any of my sisters in arms but i think if you're a partner to that and these clueless men are just going i don't know what you want now

and because they're like are you are you mad i've been watching you forever and like my my husband's so lovely, but he'll sort of just go, he's so delicate, like, yeah, I get it, I get it, I get it. Because maybe just tread lightly, you know? Just roll your eyes, maybe. Don't always go to war. Yeah, I imagine that because you must be having your buttons pressed by having a 21-year-old living with you, and then you've got the little ones that are pulling on you,

grabbing you. Is that a challenge of trying to, you know, hold back your temper slightly if you're being pushed? Because it's not your fault if your hormones are doing this, but then also it's not everyone else's either, so it's just delicate. Well, and then, you know, do you know what I've learned? And it is through being ill I learn about self-care, but I learn about a lot of hypnotherapy in that.

And they really break it down. And we know every parent at the moment is juggling a lot, whether what we do and, you know, it's all a bit scrappy and you've got pressures and deadlines and pitches and all that sort of stuff. But it's keeping your – we use the language keeping your cup full. You know, you've got to have your good cup full because that other cup, when that's full, you ain't got – you know. and often my eldest gets it because the two little ones and then she'll sort of stroll in to make a coffee while i'm trying to do sandwiches and toast i'm like

so it's always the eldest or my husband who gets it to try to not let the kids get it but i think i work really hard at making sure the other cup is full so and it's now become very much language in our house because the eight-year-old bonnie she'll go actually cool your cup gets full quick so yeah it's about i think i've got good i mean it is it is hard and it is a balance and it's about making time for all of them but i think i've got really good mean it is it is hard and it is a balance and it's about making time for all of them but I think I've got really good uh in terms of like everything's mental health hashtag mental health now but like if I'm like on a short fuse or I'm aggy or I'm being hard on

myself I sort of treat it like warning lights on a car now I think yeah we're doing too much you know take maybe take a couple of gigs out or you know reschedule that meeting or what have you or get a bit of sleep or stop drinking bottle of something on blanca day i've talked to me you know i totally get that i've i'm quite happy and chill but when i start getting annoyed by sort of you know like someone will walk past and i go look at that fucking prick and i'm like hang on sure you may not like what they've got on or the look in his eyes a bit off but you it shouldn't matter this much Rob something else that guy is not the problem you're the problem yeah um so did you teach during the pandemic on zoom I mean insane when it first happened you're just sort of trying to give them something

to do but when they started getting like when the powers that be thought and we can zoom you know how to work out the kind of google classroom and get it all going it was just insane and these poor kids and we had to sort of chase kids that were like um not engaging with work but you think of course they're not engaged if they're curled up in a ball, enough are they getting through it. But we did a lot of things like sending like Wi-Fi dongles out to, you know, families that were struggling and even laptops. We were sending laptops to kids and there was a lot of, I was a head of years. So there was a lot of like that sort of welfare care that I was doing as well.

While I was sort of just having a little bit of a breakdown myself, you know what I mean? And it was a little bit of a breakdown myself you know what I mean and it was a lot and none of the kids cared and I do tell the joke about this but it's a fuck it's true they'd be on mute I'd be teaching and at the end of this English lesson I said okay you can unmute yourself if you've got any questions any questions and this girl I don't know if she asked a question because she felt bad for me because no one gave it but she unmuted and went yeah miss have you got any netflix recommendations i thought oh no that's what i thought no one's even pretending anymore what age were you teaching then what was that 11 right up to sort of a level 19 and stuff so

the a levels were quite students were quite good because you could really get into it's a smaller class and you could still discuss stuff with them and get into it but yeah the little ones it was tough man it was really tough did any of your students know you were doing stand-up yeah when when i won the funny women it sort of emerged and then i did um yeah and then do you know what it's like they when they started finding out or i did a sort of nationwide advert or little bits that come up there was a little bit of like and you go yeah and then they don't care do you know what i mean you're like that teacher's like oh i'm getting married and you might be interested for two seconds or you find out the first name and then you're just this adult you know Charlie Brown teacher really you know they

and that's as it should be but yeah they it's nice when you bump into them because I was taught in my area so I always see miss miss miss and it's quite cute and but one kid that really helped out a lot and she she was really struggling when I was taking care of her and even her family and then I bumped into her in the co-op in Forest Gate and she went all right miss ain't seen you on telly yet but they're cute they're sweet you know and sometimes I've got you know the older ones now follow me on Instagram and say oh well done I'm so proud of you and that's quite cute oh that's cool and how do your children feel about it i think they don't yeah the eldest likes it i suppose um the the littlest one because they all like youtube family so he's

kind of he's five so he doesn't know whether we're a famous youtube family i'm like i'm not even famous do you know i mean but he's almost like what are we what are we like when that and then the middle one, she just, you know, she, she, they know I gig, but I did Richard Osman's house of games.

And then all of a sudden that spun her out. She was a bit like, this is something we watch. Right. Yeah. She was going, who, what is it?

I know she's like, I know you gig. She just all of a sudden didn't know what I was then. Like I said, I was. It's quite difficult to describe. isn't it, your job? Yeah. Because there's so many bits to it.

Yeah. You're doing stand-up, you're working out anagrams with Richard Osman, you're talking about scripts with Jack Whitehall. It's quite difficult to get that to a five-year-old. Yeah. When I was teaching, you know, they're in breakfast club, after school club, I felt like I barely saw them. And a lot of the motivating factor to do this was just that bit of autonomy and freedom but the kids don't see it

like that they don't see that you can do pick up and drop off and be at every school play and you're there in that sense yeah i was full-time teaching so much but all they see is the sort of three nights out a week you know i mean well i'm not yeah that's all oh you're not coming oh you know and then it's whatever you You're guilty, whatever. You feel bad, whatever you're doing. Yeah, because you've got a big tour coming up in April. And I implore people to go and see you. You're absolutely amazing.

And I think sometimes in comedy, you don't get many authentic voices. And I think you're one of the most authentic voices we've had in ages. Like, because of the class thing, a lot of people that end up doing comedy are people that could afford to give it a go where there's a lot of funny people that end up going i'll fuck this i ain't got enough money i'll stick to my job kind of thing so um your april is kicking off fourth of april winchester maidstone two in maidstone you sold one out extra show extra shows already la too. Both Maidstone shows sold out. Maidstone's your stomping ground though, isn't it? A bit of Kent and Essex.

Kent and Essex. It's just, but what they do, you know what it's like on tour because you don't even know. So it's sort of, some are like 100 and 200, and then you sell them out

so they go, but I'll give us 600 room in Southend and then sold out Leicester Square Theatre. So then it was like, right, give her a hack in the Empire. So you're like, yeah,

please buy, you know, all of a sudden. So it's been quite nice to know that there's an interest and i feel really proud of the show all of a sudden i think this is working well no everyone wants to be good but when it's like i know what i'll do and then as soon as people start really buying tickets you go oh they spend their money on me i want this to be really good do you know what i mean yeah i feel like when you're

i think that's the thing I felt when I first started touring was it's the first time you feel a duty to the people's night out. Do you know what I mean? Especially when you've got kids, you know how hard it is to get out the house,

get a babysitter and stuff. But the other thing is you don't want to put too much pressure on yourself as well, Laura, so that if, because some gigs go well, some don't,

you don't want to be like, oh, fucking hell, people have spent all this money and I'm not delivering because that's, your bad cup can start overflowing and you're losing your mind in fucking Swansea or something. But, you know, like your ticket... I've done it like the Hacking Empire.

What happened in Swansea, Rob? No, Swansea was all right. But for example. But it's 21 quid for a ticket. And, you know, it is a lot of money people spend. However, people might spend 40 quid on a Chinese takeaway and not think about it. Do you know what I mean?

This morning. Yeah, this morning. However, people might spend 40 quid on a Chinese takeaway and not think about it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, this morning. But yeah, get on a Laura Smith, it's spelled S-M-Y-T-H, the tours, yeah, there's loads of gigs. So book a ticket. Yeah, there's an autumn leg now as well.

Autumn leg as well. Autumn leg, Belfast, Dublin. And I love it, people slide into my DMs and go, oh, we've just booked for Brighton or we've booked for Southend and then I answer them and they go oh I didn't know you were going to answer me I'm like yeah I feel like a small business owner yeah quite a little hand note in there thanks for buying the thing oh but you know you're absolutely you'll smash it you're so funny and Anyone who's got tickets in for a treat. How are you balancing being away from the kids and stuff like that?

Have you thought about that or is it more, have you paced out the tour? You know, because is your husband still working as a teacher or has he stopped now? No. He does landscaping and he's a musician. So we kind of keep it all balanced like that. It's mostly Friday, Saturday nights nights i'm doing to be honest are you quite looking forward to like june the 6th 7th and 8th when you're in newcastle salford and liverpool and you're just staying away on your own and there's no responsibilities that's basically a holiday those three days well it is that is i'm never i'm never that good at sleeping in hotels without them, but there are times when you go,

you know, you've just got to enjoy it. So I think Birmingham, where there's a couple of nights in Birmingham, but that falls in the Easter holidays, so I'm taking the kids, we'll go up to the kids' school, we've got friends up there anyway. So there's only two weekends where I'm probably away, away.

And I've kind of could justify that, and that feels actually, I'm going to get nice hotels. Yeah, no, definitely and that feels actually I'm gonna get nice hotels yeah no definitely do that invest in yourself yeah and enjoy it and it's amazing it's amazing things to do and like you know you can take them to a few gigs and stuff like that but yeah you've paced it out well and so um with the um 21 year old have you been on the lash with her you say she's doing dry January now because obviously you're closer in age to her so is there a feeling that you can go out on the piss with her? You say she's doing dry January now, because obviously you're closer in age to her. So is there a feeling that you can go out on the piss with her and stuff like that? You know,

we, we do. I don't know. I'd still feel so responsible for her, but she can sort of party better than me. I mean, there's, do you know what I mean?

She's 21. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But one of the big jokes that went viral was about me talking to her about going ibiza and trying to be since that's a great joke it's a good joke but and that was a genuine story but there was sort of one summer where she was sort of like i remember what's stitching on her but like loving a mushroom or two or tripping you know i mean you gotta be i

was sort of so i kind of have it open conversation i was like you gotta be careful with them you know hallucinogenics and all that and she sort of went to me she didn't know how to delicately say it she went yeah but mum you've got to remember you're you know you're a bit you know and i was like what and she was you know you're a bit you're a bit of a pussy so she can have it but i yeah i don't yeah you know we'll have a couple glasses of wine or everything like that but she kind of holds it down she's not messy like we were messy when we were doing yeah yeah she's like oh yeah like add a few glasses like even at christmas because i was sort of busy with everything she was very much like the kind of party maker at christmas about 16 of us but she was one getting the games going getting the drinking going and i was just sort of quite oh well done i was impressed by her she got everyone got so yeah she feels like she's

she backs you up do you know what i mean rather than creating more problems she's sort of like she's on the on the right side of the team yeah just about now like well my sister went to her she became woman this christmas she was helping out she was helping out and how old are your girls Rob? 8 and 6 I think that's dream ages that's like dream ages and then these teenage years happen and they're such nobs they're such pricks

and you just think as long as they come out the other side we were nobs, everyone here so I feel like she's just come out the other side and it's like me and my husband are both going, Oh yeah, she's all right. And he's very good at going. And he's going, and now the menopause is here. When am I going to catch a break?

He's like spinning plates. You know what I mean? And just as I get over the worst of the menopause, the middle one will be hitting pubic. But yeah, it is just i feel like she's just come out the other side and go no you're all right you are gonna be all right yeah so what were there anything standout moments from her as a teenager that put you under pressure that you were like this is this is mental what am i going to do here they were just things

like parties where you go i know that area and i know and even like she had her six four she knows her school prom and they just hadn't they were all trying to book hotels and after for an after party and i was like no and i just i don't mind hosting something but i laid down all we got a security guard and we put the whole garden in fairy lights you've got security guard for your house yeah because amazing because we just knew because we're in east under yeah that it's not nice i mean no and it was you know she went to school in bow so it was like so i said the rules are everyone's parents need to know they're coming and they all need to know how they're getting home i'm not like taking drunk yeah because i just didn't want them

hanging around yeah yeah hotel and flipping woolage or something so things like that where i'll kind of pretend there's boundaries do you know what i mean and i just tried to be cool so all those sorts of things yeah you're navigating them through little boy boyfriends and all that and you just just hope they come out the other side that's it did you when you're a teacher what was it like when um you'd have parents evening and stuff could you really see the parents and the kids like did it always make sense do you know what i mean yeah the vast majority of the time sometimes you'd have this nightmare kids and then you meet these terrifying sort of parent and you i couldn't do it you think this kid that usually disrupts every lesson is a nightmare sort of like this kid terrifying parent you think oh that's why

you flex your muscles in school because your parents psychopath and i'd always sort of you know mitigate like yeah she does try and come to the lessons and not because you know if you're too mean is they're going to get a smack even they get home or something probably yeah you'd get a lot of that and i mean and then sometimes you get this really quiet quiet wouldn't say boot or goose kid and then you tell their parents i'd like them to maybe contribute more they're like what she don't stop talking at home you know yeah but usually i think it's a hard and fast rule lovely parents have lovely kids and actually yeah you know if they're sassing you at home they're usually lovely at school my kids are so leery at me and then you know lovely at school and all that that's good news because my my daughter couldn't be more different at home

from what she is at school do you know i mean like she's she's so polite to her teachers and stuff and then she's just you know gives me shit six and she she'll give me shit all the time but you're like well like well like shit air yeah stuff like that well no no no she picks her target i've seen your notebook the jokes they're not working you've lost a little bit of what you had, stuff like that. It's really getting in your head. Do you think any of your kids might end up in comedy? I could see the eldest. I could see all of them, actually.

They all make me laugh. All my kids are funny. Yeah. They do come from funny families, you two. Yeah, I think when I was growing up, taking the piss was a bit, like nothing was serious in the sense of, life wasn't seen as too serious and we'd watch a lot of comedy.

So that was, like, that was probably, like, everything was comedy on TV. So it's there, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think some families, most, like, there's families that are, like, the comedy family, that they all take the piss out of each other, all got funny stories, the dad tells, the mum tells a story, sit down and watch it all together. Because then you do find other families where they literally just sit and watch like oh let's watch um planet earth yeah and then watch

it and go oh yeah quite interesting wasn't it right now i'm like fucking what a waste of an evening when your family's funny when you go then out on the circuit you know the game the game is yeah go to the sixth seventh joke that will top everyone else up yeah that's the game and it's like a game i've played my whole life without realizing that's the game do you know what i mean so when you go and watch some comedians some comedians i watch you think you ain't even got a funny family comedians like me and i talk to them i think what made you think this was a good idea for you? That you've never made me laugh. You just talk so confidently and then leave,

and then you go, oh, that was a good one. But sometimes these comedians, without naming names, are incredibly successful. And you're like, you're not a funny person. You're not... Do you know what? I don't want to sound like I'm 200. What happened to being a laugh?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's cute. And you know what's funny? Talking about my talk, I think because I've gone through illness, I was like, it's going to be really worthy. And then recently, and that was my early wits, and then I thought, no, it's funny. Yeah.

That's it. But when I always say people are comedians or they're not not whether they're because people can write a joke but don't mean they're a comedian comedians to me are people that like you go again there's nothing else you could have done on this earth yeah or there is but you'd have done it terribly and been so unhappy but like you know when you speak to alan carr there is no other job for alan carr than being a comic. It just encapsulates funny. The fact he used to work at a call centre is fucking insane. Prime example. He is just...

That's how funny he is. We can all laugh just thinking of him doing something. He doesn't even have to do it. Yeah. Should we do the final question, Josh? We should do the final question, shouldn't we, Rob? We always do the final question. We don't always, but...

No, we should. We do it. Let's do it. Laura, what's the one thing that your husband does that you think, oh, my God, I'm so happy we've got kids together. You're it laura what's the one thing that your husband um does that you think oh my god i'm so happy we've got kids together you're amazing and that's what's the one thing he does as a parent you're like this bores my piss and he has got to listen to this and stop doing what you're doing oh my god i mean ali is just i mean and when you meet him you've got to meet him to believe him it's's just this absolute, he's the most capable person you'll ever meet in your whole entire life.

And there's just a deep, he can just, he just makes sure, he just makes sure everyone's all right. You know, if you say, oh, have you packed that? Yeah, on it, done it. Everything's done before you've asked. And he's so brilliant. And he just makes sure everything's all right. There's this overwhelming sense of, oh, good, Ali's here.

You don't know what you want him to do. An energy about him. Oh, he's magic. everything's all right. There's this overwhelming sense of, oh, good, Ali's here. You don't know what you want him to do, but he's just... An energy about him. Oh, he's magic. He's absolutely magic. I don't think anyone's ever said that about me. Oh, thank God Josh is... Yeah. He's going to be all right, Josh is here. You couldn't even finish the sentence, Rob.

No, I think it'll be, Josh is here, and then someone goes, is he all right? How is he? No, it's a lie. If someone said who's on the bill or who's on the show, Josh is here, you go, oh, yes. Thank God for that. I'll do better than him.

No, not at all. And the negative about Ali? Well, like I say, he's a musician and a creative, like me, he's a creative, so he can half daydream. And he's a lot of, when he's not present, you're sort of like, Ali, there's a lot of, so he can be really not present. And I can look at him and go, they're talking to you.

And you go, what? And there's a joke about him. Cause I said, he used the wrong phrase and he meant he's a daydreamer. And he always away with the phrase. And he went, and I said, come on,

Ali. What? You know, he goes, sorry, I'm just a dream boat. It's kind of a joke. And me and my sisters all take the piss.

Oh, I dream boat. I'm just a dreamboat. He goes, sorry, I know I'm a dreamboat. The worst thing about him is he's quite quiet.

He's like, oh no, bless him. Well, we played, we went to this dinner party and it's like the, you know, the mafia game, which is basically

what The Traitors is based on. But I knew, he's quite introvert but i knew within seconds he was the murderer he was the mafia well he couldn't function and he had a few beers and i was just he just couldn't actually do this he couldn't handle it and then when i i knew straight away and voted him off because I was, I'm horrible. And then the other mafia person who was sitting next to me went, yeah, yeah, and voted for him too.

And he lost it. He went, you fucking snagged me. He snagged. I snagged him out with him. He just lost it at this stage. You fucking grass. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle it.

Laura, it's been absolutely amazing. i know it's two things though and it's something that i see myself when you said to him oh i admitted i want to do comedy yeah like it was a crime yeah because of your background and then yeah yeah exactly and then um the other one when you said um yeah you went he's a creative like like me, like me, you felt so uncomfortable saying you're a creative. That's because of your upbringing and your being working class. You are creative. You don't have to admit to being a comedian. You just are.

And then when you're back for round two, when you've done your sellout tours, no more of that. You just say it loud and proud. I'm a creative. Maybe not too much. No, if Rob Beckett said he was a creative creative i would absolutely take the piss for about 10 years actually josh laura's been absolutely amazing good luck on the tour that's how it goes and we'll speak to you soon I'm sure thanks for having me cheers mate Laura Smith she's brilliant Laura

she's so funny do you know what I didn't do Rob what I didn't Steve Wright it should I quickly Steve Wright it yeah read out all the good guys Norwich, Maidenhead, Poole, Hemelhamstead, Cambridge, Brighton, Guildford, Southend, Leeds, Bristol, Cardiff, Newcastle, Salford, Liverpool, Southend,

Farram, London, London, Glasgow, Leicester, Norwich, Cambridge, Nottingham,

Bath, Cardiff, Dublin, Belfast, Brighton, Sheffield, Birmingham, Coventry,

Salford, Leeds, and Chelmsford. Laura Smith with a Y.com. Yes, go and see her. And also, she'll be in sort of

good- size rooms with like 100 seat like three or four hundred seaters see her before she's inevitably in the big massive theaters 2000 seats because she will be she's amazing anyway i'll see you next week josh bye