Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP2: Max Rushden

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant podcaster and presenter - Max Rushden. @maxrushden Listen, follow and subscribe to Max's fantastic ne...w podcast 'What did you do yesterday?' wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes released every Sunday from 1st September. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.
Starting point is 00:00:23 And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision
Starting point is 00:00:48 with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. and of people we barely know. On September 13th, I guarantee you won't want to leave. Speak No Evil is filled with teeth clenching, sick, clawing, suspense. Something's not right with him. I've always wanted a family like yours. James McAvoy will scare you speechless. No!
Starting point is 00:01:16 You're gonna kill us. We're just sad to see you go. Speak No Evil, only in theaters September 13th. Go. Ahhhhhhhhhh! Speak no evil. Only in theaters September 13th. The collab that you always wanted is finally here. Tim's and Nutella. It's time to enjoy Nutella in a new way with your favorite Tim's baked goods and beverages.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Try them all today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. It's time for Tim's. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Darcy, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Good girl, and can you say Josh Whiddicombe? Josh Whiddicombe.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Good girl. There we go, this is a good email, Rob. Darcy's a nice name. It is, isn't it? This, dear Rob and Josh, a few weeks ago I gave birth to our little boy, Quinn. I had to be induced and was advised to keep up my oxytocin levels,
Starting point is 00:02:15 which to be honest with our terrible two year old meant my oxytocin level were understandably not really peaking. Shall we? I've got oxytocin here. A natural hormone that manages key aspects of the female male reproductive systems, including labor and delivery and lactation, as well as aspects
Starting point is 00:02:29 of human behavior. Right. It's like happy hormones, according to this. Hospital advised that it would take 24 hours to start labor or not at all. On the way home from hospital, I knew the Parenting Hell podcast was my gateway to raising those happy hormones. Oh, within 10 minutes of listening to the podcast in the car, I looked at my husband and was like, Oh, it's happening. Now I'm not sure when to credit 21st century medicine or the oxytocin rise from the podcast. But I've told
Starting point is 00:03:00 everyone that it was your anecdotes which finally brought Quinn into the world. Thanks for all the laughs. The bi-weekly podcast release is genuinely a highlight of our week. Jaden, Rob, from Stanford. Have you done Stanford in Lincolnshire? Yeah, I'm sure I've been there. Very flat. There we go.
Starting point is 00:03:16 There we go. Well, congratulations and I'm glad that we helped. I'm sure it's just coincidence. Couple of messages, Rob. We've got a message from Lauren Smith, who's been on the show, very, very funny comedian. She's basically bought loads of tickets to her first leg of the tour. She's doing a second leg, because she sold so many.
Starting point is 00:03:31 So if you, like Laura Smith, wanted to buy tickets to see her live, but they're sold out, you've got another chance. Um, she's put on some more gigs. Here's a little voice note from her. Have you got the voice note there, Josh? Hi, Parent in Hell listeners. It's me, comedian Laura Smith.
Starting point is 00:03:44 You may remember me from being on the show. And what happened after being Hi Parenting Hell listeners, it's me comedian Nora Smith. You may remember me from being on the show and what happened after being on Parenting Hell was I sold loads of tickets and now I've got an autumn leg of the tour so in a proper Beggy Mitchell move I'm now asking you to buy tickets to my autumn leg, September to November, I'm everywhere. So yeah, buy tickets. Thank you. I love that, Becky Mitchell. Head over to my website, laurasmith.com. That's Smith with a Y.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Y, I don't know. There we go. Rob. Sorry, I got distracted by my phone there. Josh, we've got a brilliant guest. What was on your phone, Rob? I saw you were distracted by your phone. Oh, pick up times. It's so complicated at the moment, getting places and where I'm dropping the kids,
Starting point is 00:04:29 who's having the kids, when Lou's back, where I'm going. And it's, I can't keep up with it, Josh. And what I'm doing is I'm trying to nick little bits of time in other things I'm doing to try and plan my day. And then before I know it, I'm on the back foot and I don't know what's happening in a podcast. And I feel like I'm living Josh Wincombe's life. And I'm't know what's happening in a podcast and I feel like I'm living Josh Whitcomb's life. And I'm overwhelmed with... Why didn't you bring on the guest? Why didn't you bring on the guest? Yes. Who's the guest? For fuck's sake.
Starting point is 00:04:49 It's my question. Yes. Oh, of course, Maxime. This was a good one. This, I like Max. Talksport presenter, Guardian Football Weekly presenter. One of the big podcasts, the Guardian Football Weekly, one of the biggest. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:57 If you're not a football fan, that's a big deal. It's actually one of our greatest sports presenters. That's a very lovely introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great introduction. I think it's a great biggest. If you're not a football fan, that's a
Starting point is 00:05:05 big deal. He's actually one of our greatest sports presenters. That's a very lovely introduction. Also very interesting because he's got an Australian wife, so they were in the UK for a number of years and they've just moved back to Australia. He's doing a lot of presenting work and radio work here and there, so he's very busy with time zones, back and forth. We talk a lot about long haul flights. We do and I do apologize for basically rubbing it in his face at how bad it sounds. Yeah, we love Max.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Anyway, here's Max Rushden. Max Rushden, welcome to the podcast. I thought you were in Australia because you moved there but apparently you're in a cupboard in London fields. Is this a podcast or a cry for help? I've been in this cupboard for two months. I've just been desperate for anyone to talk to me. It's odd that it's the two of you and we're recording but yeah, if somebody could let me
Starting point is 00:05:50 out of this cupboard and I could get home that would be very useful. It's such a bleak cupboard. So from what I can tell, there's a on the top left, there's just a wire and unconnected wire hanging down. That's the top right you're looking at. There's like a black wire and then attached to the wall is a on your other side is a piece of paper in a plastic folder hanging down. Info for the boiler that is.
Starting point is 00:06:18 It is Dear UPS Amazon, if I'm not in please leave package with Mrs. Gully at number 46. Many thanks David. So, I'm in an Airbnb. What's that? I'm in an Airbnb in London Fields. I presume this is what he puts on, what David puts on his door. He was, he was... Who's David?
Starting point is 00:06:36 David owns this flat. Do you know David or just through Airbnb? Just an Airbnb. You did say this is the bleakest cupboard you've ever seen. Now look, you have a very successful podcast, so maybe your cupboards are like, you know, gold enameled and glittery, but most cupboards I own are pretty bleak when you're inside them. Yeah, true, true. I'd say it's an unremarkable cupboard than a bleak cupboard. I'd say that's a pretty
Starting point is 00:06:56 standard. It's your bog standard cupboard. Max, children, talk. How many have you got? We have a two and a half year old who we'll call Ian, Ian Rushton. Ian Rushton. And we have one Jew. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, well, I didn't until three months ago.
Starting point is 00:07:16 And I didn't let you, like you weren't the first, but I thought I must tell Josh. I don't know you well enough for you to contact me to say that your wife is pregnant. Yeah, quite, you know. So we've been at that stage recently, you know, where you tell, you don't tell your family, but you will tell a waiter because you have to ask about, you know, unpasteurised cheese or something. Oh yeah, yeah, that's a weird stage that when you tell people that don't matter to you because it won't get back to the people that do matter. Exactly. But obviously, you are the, I wanted to wait, we haven't told anybody apart from you two that we're this exclusive it's an
Starting point is 00:07:48 exclusive it is a fucking scoop mate well it's not totally exclusive because we weren't gonna tell my parents but then they were gonna come down and visit and then my dad thought he got the mumps and we were like oh shit his mumps bad for pregnant so we got one coming end of January January, so we had the 12 week scan two days ago and... Blimey, that is fresh news. Fresh news, they think it's another boy. Respect the 12 week scan, that's when you're allowed to tell people 12 week scan isn't it? So what I'm hoping is this is a gentle hour where two other slightly younger middle aged
Starting point is 00:08:19 men tell me that two is easier than one. That's what I'm generally looking for in this conversation When they the problem is if they play together and get on it's an absolute dream Yeah, so in four years, so basically if they play together and get on it's an absolute dream. Yeah so in four years. So basically if they play together and get on it'll be as it is now. Yeah okay. It's all right. It's all right. It's fine. It's not survivable. It's not great news it'll be the same again for another potentially four or five years. Yeah. But if they don't get on then that's more difficult because then you're split because they'd want to do separate things but but it's not I think it's nice for them to have a sibling. I mean, I think it's good.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And it's fun and they're cute and you'll enjoy it. You're in a cupboard in London fields anyway. How much worse can it get, man? Exactly right. I do have to say that my wife who is incredible and I love her dearly. It's a strange way to introduce at the beginning before you say something about her. It's not a but at all. It's just, she as you may or may not know. It's just, it's just is a but isn't it?
Starting point is 00:09:31 It's just. It's just is but in a different word. It's not working. It's not working and I want a divorce. No, I am, she has no interest in football, right? Which I find very refreshing. I spend most of for listeners who don't know as a manager, most of them, but most of my work is football based brackets, all of it is. And so she's, she has not listened to a minute of the Guardian Football Weekly. She has no idea how to get talk sport on her radio. I think she came to a soccer N once, but she's never watched on TV. She's never watched anything I've done in Australia on TV. This, she really loves this podcast, right? To the point where I think one of the
Starting point is 00:10:07 first things she said to me was, after she realised she was pregnant, was you can go on lockdown parenting now. I mean, it has been two and a half years, Chaps, just to point out. I know you have quite a few. Yeah, but you've been busy. You have genuinely famous guests. I understand that. No, Guardian Football Weekly is huge. Your pod royalty. You did the greatest phone in where people just had to phone in recently with their favourite thing about England and their predicted score for the Euros final.
Starting point is 00:10:35 It was at the end of the Switzerland game and we, me and Charlie had been doing the two word phone in for a while because it's got, it's, you know, it's quite funny. You go, what's the best goal? And people just ring a Dave in clackton and says, Aguero, bye. And if they say three words, they're never allowed to call again. And yeah, we did, yeah, best thing about England and the school prediction, and we were like,
Starting point is 00:10:53 well, this might work, it might not. And quite often radio presenters go, wow, the phone lines are going wild. And quite often, they're really not. And actually, the phone lines did go wild. And the first caller just went Pat Butcher 4-0. We're like this is great. And then some guy, we had two Margaret Thatchers. We were like okay, takes all sorts. We're not in a echo chamber. And then someone just went Baked Beans Penalties.
Starting point is 00:11:18 And it was like, it was just, it was just such a brilliant moment. It's not related to parenting at all, but on phone calls that I was on BBC London breakfast once and it was a three hour all speech phone in show and it was a bank holiday Monday, right? And I was doing the show and the phones weren't ringing at 6am, let me tell you, me and my co-host, we were hammering the phones for about half an hour and then at 6am. What does that mean hammering the phones weren't ringing at 6am, let me tell you. Me and my co-host, we were hammering the phones for about half an hour and then at 6.35. What does that mean hammering the phones? Really selling it? We were trying to get anyone to ring about fucking anything and like nobody was ringing and then like Faye and Chiswick- That's so sad.
Starting point is 00:11:57 It gets worse. Faye and Chiswick rang and she's a regular Faye and Chiswick. We were like, oh thank god tonight I'll fill 10 minutes and talk to Faye about anything. So it's 6.35, and we're like, oh, Faye and Chis is called. Faye, what did you want to talk about? And she said, I don't know, you rang me. We're like, oh. Whatever happens to my career, it will never be as bleak as that moment. I once did Absolute Radio on a Sunday for four hours on my own and we were just chatting nonsense playing songs and we realised by hour three no one had rang or texted, not
Starting point is 00:12:36 one, not one message, no interaction online, on social media, not even like nothing and we were asking for it and then by the end we went let's just see if we can do a full show. Amazing. With nothing. You start going, you know, do you have a phone? You go to those levels like, text us now, do you have a phone? So this is the only thing she listens to? I mean she listens to other things, I'm going to say, exclusively, but this is maybe the
Starting point is 00:13:04 first time she's ever heard me broadcast and she has said that if I use any of her lines, she will come at me in the comments, you know? Sometimes, you know, like sometimes you're like your partner or someone will say something funny and then you'll think, oh that's funny and then you'll just use it and then you'll forget that actually it wasn't your line. And then, so for example, right, like Ian is like, he's at that stage where he might be dropping his nap, right? And this is her line, but I've definitely used it going, he might be ready to drop his
Starting point is 00:13:34 nap, but I am not ready to drop my nap. Yeah, a bit of fun round the coffee table. Everyone's giggling. Oh Max, is it any fun here? Yeah, it's a good one. And then she's like, we'd leave wherever we were, she'd go, that's my line. And like, so like, if I do deliver anything of any of the vague entertainment today, it is down to Jamie. I was gonna say, do you want to get any of her lines out early doors and like, and attribute them to her before we crack on?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Well, that's one. Like, the loop that's dropping in that one, which, you know, and it is true because, oh, I love, I mean, sleep is just... How about doing this this way, Max, at the end of the podcast, you can weave them in as much as you want. You're more than welcome at the end of the podcast to flag as a kind of, you know, like any acknowledgements at the end will go. Any of those that you said in the last 40 minutes. Citation six, Jamie Bruce. Does she owe you because? No. She's from Australia. Yeah. And you on, was it related to her getting pregnant
Starting point is 00:14:36 and you having a kid? But you moved to Australia, basically, back to her home country at the time of her getting pregnant. I want to go through this decision making process. And what does she do for work? Is her work in Australia what wants to vibe? Primary school teacher. So she was a primary school teacher in Tower Hamlets for the eight years that she moved over here, when she moved over here. And I always said, oh look, if I get a job in Australia, we'll move. Which was basically, we're not moving to Australia because there's like one job I could do there.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Max, can I call bullshit immediately? What's that? I've been to Australia and New Zealand. Radio is fucking massive over there. It's still 1972. No, you're right. They go mad for it. The budget for radio is insane.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Yeah, I agree with you. Radio's huge over there, Max. There's loads of work. Yeah, it's huge. But I'm there now. It there now. I'm going to google that deal. There's the biggest show on Australian radio, they're on like 20 million a year or something. They are absolutely terrible. I was in a taxi, they're called Kyle and Jackie-o. Kyle and Jackie, they're really rude and a bit old-chart. I heard them do half an hour on a joke about a foreskin.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I was listening, I was in a taxi, I was like, how is this on the radio? Oh, that sounds quite good stuff. I was like, I'll write it down. Let's just wait for callers, Max. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all been stuck without callers, Max. So I said to her, look, if we get a job, then we'll move. And she really, she found London quite hard when she first got here.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Did she come to London for you? Well, that's a good question. We met on a volcano in Nicaragua, right? Classic. Oh, right, right. You blasted. Obviously, right? That's it.
Starting point is 00:16:11 You found. And I fell in love with her after about three seconds. And I'd say that- She's funnier than you. Yeah, she's great. She's got loads of lines. She's a very promising feature. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:24 And I'd say three and a half years later after a process of what I think geographers would call erosion, she was just like, oh, okay, all right. What was the erosion via? Email and text? Email, Skype messages. Skype messages. When she was back to Australia and you were in the UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so, but like, I was like, I really fancied her when I met her and she was not
Starting point is 00:16:49 interested and she was travelling with her friend and I was like, oh, where are you going? Oh, she was like, oh, we're going to Costa Rica and Panama. I was like, oh, sounds good to me. Because I was like, I had nowhere to go. What, you just tagged along? Just tagged along. Oh my God. You are pathetic.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Yeah, yeah, I am. Oh God. Baby rush deer. Yeah, I know. And then I had two weeks off that Christmas like the way Saturdays felt during Socorro. We'd just park outside our house and watch. So I booked a ticket to Melbourne, England were in the ashes so I got tickets to the MCG, I got makes in Melbourne, I was so amused with these excuses but then when I got to Heathrow it was
Starting point is 00:17:21 like the year that Heathrow froze and no flights took off so I had to my flight was daily I went to Melbourne for four days I took her to the MCD on boxing there she hates cricket and so we left at lunch and then she just thought who's this psychopath so I didn't see her for the rest of the trip I didn't see her for the rest of the trip and I flew home and I was like well that is a stupid idea isn't it and I was and I just said like you know we took her to the cricket in her own in our hometown it's like visiting her going kennet and taking her to the oval. Yeah, oh yeah, totally. Well, I wanted to go. And so anyway, she thought I was a psychopath. So can I just check, have you spent Christmas day on your own? No, no, no, I've got some good friends there who now live just down the road. So
Starting point is 00:18:00 I had... You're fucking keen being you all that. She must have been panicking a bit. Yeah. So eventually, like, I think just, I just think she just, I've sort of wore her down or she realized that I wasn't a psychopath. I was just quite a banal. But then she emigrated. She must have been into you, Max. Stop putting yourself down. She's emigrated to the UK to teach while you work here. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was, so she made that sacrifice. But every primary school teacher wants to teach in Tower Hamlets. Well of course. Melbourne to Tower Hamlets, that's their dream. You can't spend eight years there in your 20s or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:18:31 From Melbourne. So anyway, so I was like, if I get offered a job, we'll go and then, like, it came up really quickly, do you want to host the Champions League for Australian television? And I sort of said, I had loads of experience, I'd never done live football in my life. And let me tell you between the two of you, that is the easiest racket in the world. Like, you know, line-up, line-up. 100% that. It angers me.
Starting point is 00:18:54 There's a sports broadcast awards. You know, where they win like, oh, best coverage of the football, the final of the Euros. No one gives a fuck about you, Gary Lineker. All they care about is the football. But like, you know, you're sitting there, so I'm doing the Champions League and I've got Mark Bosnic, Craig Foster, who are both brilliant. I've got Mark Pugac is at the ground for us. I've got like one of my mates from the pod, Jonathan Wilson or Lars Sivit, whatever, on Zoom. They all want to talk and all I have to do is go, good morning everybody, Round Madrid are playing AC
Starting point is 00:19:20 Milan. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? Here's the first half. All you have to do is get writers and now here's your commentary team Don Goodman and Simon Brotherton. Oh you're good. That was liquid. You're doing some of a disservice. I was excited for the good thing. I want to watch. What time does it kick off over there then on the time difference? Five o'clock or seven o'clock. Oh that's a lovely little way to start the day isn't it? Works done at seven. Feet on coffee. Champions, you've done your day's work at 10am. Although that, I'm not doing that anymore. When I go back, I'm gonna, because that's all in Sydney and we found the travel a bit
Starting point is 00:19:52 hard and I'm gonna stay in Melbourne and do, I might be branching back into, might do a bit of football for them, bit of current affairs, sort of got another job and I'm starting a new podcast which we'll talk about in a bit. We are gonna come to that. I guess. We are gonna come to that. But then you do the Guardian Football Weekly and your talk sport show from Ashuda Melbourne. Yes. So I do the pod out of my shed and then the radio.
Starting point is 00:20:13 I sometimes do in the shed but it doesn't have air conditioning. One night I tried it, it was like 40 degrees and it was a bit like doing a radio show on Apollo 13. At some point this thing is going to overheat and I was like, I bought six bags of ice. I don't know why. I was like, I panicked on the day. I was like, surrounded by bags of ice. They don't do a lot. They just melt. Yeah, they just melt. So it'd be wet around the equipment. It was such a disaster. So what time of your hours then are you doing those shows? Depending on the clocks, it's like the worst is Sunday night 11 till 1 here is 10 till
Starting point is 00:20:50 half past midnight. That's fine. That's not too bad. That's alright. Yeah. Mom, Dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero backpack,
Starting point is 00:21:09 but next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs? I don't know, I'm not a fortune teller, but I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop low prices for school on Amazon. K, good chat. Amazon, spend less, smile more. You'll flip for $4 pancakes at A&W. Wake up to a stack of three light and fluffy pancakes
Starting point is 00:21:33 topped with syrup. Only $4 on now. Dine in only until 11am at A&W's in Ontario. What's the journey? What's the journey from Australia to the UK? How often are you doing? Take me through what that's like. I'm doing it. We're doing it. It is, and we've got it next week. It is terrible. Is it? It's so, it's like, it's 24 hours and it's, it's it's just you get you have to come here for long enough that you it's like two or three weeks anxiety building up to it and then like the PTSD is about a month so then you get about two weeks of enjoyment and then the anxiety begins for the flight back. Oh my god. I reckon the
Starting point is 00:22:19 last one wasn't as bad because like we're trying to get him just addicted to screens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like get him into to screens. Anything. Anything he can. Get him into alt-right stuff. Jordan Peterson. Anything that he'll just watch. Those incels. Good thing about those incels. They keep themselves to themselves. They're quite on a flunk. When you're in seats 56, J, K and F, that is really what you want. We tried on the way back last year, we were like, he sometimes falls asleep in the car, but actually he doesn't fall asleep in the car, but we've seen parents get a car seat, right? So we're like, why
Starting point is 00:22:54 don't we get a car seat for 50 quid and just put it in that. And so we got the car seat and we put it... So you've got a car seat on the plane? Yeah, you can do it. And so I stuck the car seat... Where is it? In the aisle? Well, no, no, you put it in car seat on the plane? Yeah, you can do it. And so I stuck the car seat. Where is it? In the aisle? Well, no, no, you put it in his seat, right? Oh, right. Oh. How old is he now?
Starting point is 00:23:12 He's two and a half. So we got him a seat on the way home because he can't sit on us. Up to two, they can sit on you. Oh, yes. So you had him on your lap for the whole 24 hours in the past? No, in the past. So early, you have the little bassinet, which is is fine unless it's like turbulence. Really bad turbulence. Yeah and then they bounce up and down you're like we should probably do something about that. So like we were like we'll
Starting point is 00:23:34 get a car seat for him and then and he hated it. So then you're just three people on an airplane with a car seat and you know what? Then you're like do you know what it's really hard to sell a car seat and you know what? Do you know what? It's really hard to sell a car seat when you're on a plane. Yeah but why would that be better? Surely it's a smaller seat than the one he's got. Yeah but he's kind of strapped in, aren't they? They're like a fist. So he's used to it.
Starting point is 00:23:56 He's used to it but it was a disaster. So then we tried to offload that at Perth. We tried to leave it on the plane. We sort of like tracked it around a corner and ran off the plane and then someone ran after us going, Oh you forgot your car seat. We were like, it on the plane. We sort of like, tried to run a corner and ran off the plane and then someone ran after us going, oh, you forgot your car seat. We were like, oh no. So then we left it in the Qantas lounge.
Starting point is 00:24:13 So someone in the Qantas lounge has found a car seat and goes, what the fuck has happened here? But it was like, you're desperate. So what do you do to kill the time? Have another kid make it double R. Stickers. Stickers, stickers, that'll do. What you do is you get,
Starting point is 00:24:26 Stickers. You take, you get crayons, stickers, Play-Doh, and then you and snacks. Play-Doh. Right, and then you've exhausted that about an hour into your first flight to Hong Kong. And then you're like, okay, 23 hours to go lads. Let's dig in.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Oh my god. Two and a half's too young for Screef. About four's the right age for Screef. They're too young at that age, aren't they? And do you get any sleep? Well, the worst thing, well, not for me, but he's sort of at a stage where he is really, he loves his mom.
Starting point is 00:24:59 He's like, mama do that, mama do that. He wants change, he's like, I don't want you to do that. I want mama to do it. And sometimes you go, like, come on, mate. like, I don't want you to do that. I want mama to do it. And like, sometimes you go like, come on, mate, this is all you. Basically, if we're in the, if we're together, all three of us, and we're in the park together, like, I'm not pushing the swing. He's like, dad, I sit over there and he sort of points to a bench about a hundred yards away. If it's just me and him, he sort of looks at me and he goes, okay, this is what I've got to work with. Like, okay, I get it. This is as good
Starting point is 00:25:20 as it's going to get. Yeah, I'm on that stage. On the plane, it's like, she is there, so he will only fall asleep on her. And then we, then you know, it's a bit like that, you know, when they're the sort of unexploded grenade, then you try and push them onto the seat. And then eventually Jay's like, ah, I'll just let him sleep on me.
Starting point is 00:25:35 So- I'll tell you what he's gonna love when he has another sibling that needs to be with him on. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's gonna actually love that, that. Yeah, no, I reckon you're right. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:25:46 So that's what I came on for. It's just that kind of positive affirmation that we've made the right decision. That's okay. Do you know what? One of the main reasons to have kids is to enjoy the pain and suffering that other people are going to go through. And that's exactly what you're doing now. You've had the struggle and now you're just like...
Starting point is 00:26:02 It's worth it though. And it's just flying to and from Australia is hard. You know what I wouldn't have done Rob, I wouldn't have gone to Australia. I wouldn't have ever flown. Not moved, I think moved is a good decision. Because you come back, do you come back to see the Russian clan or do you come back because during the Euros it's untenable for you to be working in Australia? Basically, yeah. So like the hours would kill me.
Starting point is 00:26:28 So you come back as a family this time then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. If I said I'm just off for two months, is that all right? Like if everyone's well, it's kind of okay, because I have to go to Sydney a lot for the Champions League. But if someone's sick and we don't have a lot of, we don't have loads of help close by, sometimes when I'm away, Jay is like, she is doing a lot of stuff on her own. Yeah, it's hard. And so when I came back for three weeks, she was like, this is, you know, that was shit. Plus, she can't even text you about it because you're asleep when she's awake. Yeah, that's the difficult, that's what I found hard when I
Starting point is 00:27:00 tour Australia is that you're on totally different wavelengths when you're like, you're just as you're waking up there, going to bed and vice versa. What I've had is that you're on totally different wavelengths when you're like you're just as you're waking up They're gonna bed and vice versa What I've had is during the Champions League When I do the Champions League and so I'd be up at say three or four or five is I'd wake up and I just hope There was nothing on the whatsapp, you know, just absolutely. Do I wake up to nothing? What I don't want is 106 up 132 up again 215 up again. How's your hotel room?
Starting point is 00:27:25 Like, you know, these totally justifiable like, oh, what are you doing now? Just having a coffee. I'm not, you know, and I don't know if you find this like, cause like I really like my job. And now when I record the pod, it's like, it's like bedtime, bath time, dinner time. And I'm just going to the shed to talk about football
Starting point is 00:27:45 on zoom so it's not like it'd be better if you were a coal miner and you came back in yeah like covered in soot and going oh this was uh honestly that was an agonizing day I'm exhausted but basically just like so generally just as like the shit's hitting the fan and he's not just still saying all I want is plain pasta and and then I was like, I've just got to go and talk about the crisis at Everton for now. I have a huge crisis. And so two and a half, so there'll be a three and a half, well, kind of three year age gap.
Starting point is 00:28:17 That's gonna be. Yeah, he'll be just, the new one, Ian the second, if it is a boy will be just, will be born just before Ian the first turns three. And what's it like bringing up kids thinking your kids are going to be Australian? Fine. Australia's really nice. I would love them, whether it's a boy or a girl, the second one, I'd love them both to have the broadest Australian accents and open the batting for England. That is like rinse the Australian sporting system.
Starting point is 00:28:53 But they will want to play for Australia. That is true. Yeah, I think I lost that battle, I think. And the thing is, it's like, because we're back enough, I don't really miss home that much. I'm here quite a lot. don't really miss home that much. I'm here quite a lot. I don't miss it that much. It's an amazing place to raise kids to. I've always thought that. I think it's beautiful over there and it's so safe.
Starting point is 00:29:11 A lot safer in this space and there's so much more opportunity to do sport and exercise. It's a healthier way to raise kids, I think, out there. Totally. I think so. I think if I compare it to London, right? I'm comparing Melbourne and London rather than England and Australia Yeah, and Melbourne is such a great city because it's small so you feel like you're sort of part of it But you can live. Yeah, we're sort of in like with a suburb next to the hipster one
Starting point is 00:29:35 So you're like we're trying to pretend we're cool, even though we never were but like if you remember It's quite European as a city for Wazie standards, isn't it Melbourne? It is and and like learning to swim when you think back to learning to swim, it was just cold and shit and athlete's foot and your wife front's kind of ringing in, getting really tired. Varukas, Varukas sock, I remember that word a lot. In Australia, you just go every day. It's just really nice and it's like somewhere you compare it at 30%. I remember we'd been away for a year and we came back back because when we first got there it was like Covid and we had to quarantine and then
Starting point is 00:30:08 we had to split apart. So we were apart for three months when Jay was heavily pregnant and we were like, hopefully the borders open because I had to stay in Sydney and fortunately they did. But we were away for so long we came back and like the first day we're like pushing a pram, we had jet lagged and we bumped into someone and they just went, oh fuck off. We're like, this is London. And I sort of miss that energy right you just don't you know it is it is different you don't you don't get that um so yeah like I am like because Jay came here for nine years it's like she's like well you got nine years mate and then we can discuss you know where we're going to live but yeah I'm pretty I'm pretty simple I as long as I can have a cup of coffee and some peanuts.
Starting point is 00:30:46 They love coffee in Melbourne. I don't get it. It's like they think they fucking invented it. It's basically just because it's not shit coffee. Like yeah, everyone has, oh Melbourne's the best place to have a coffee. Coffee snobs coming out of your arse. No it isn't. It's just the same as everywhere fucking else that does coffee. I don't know what the hard on is for Melbourne coffee. Do you know what, if you, if you clip that up and sent it to the Australian media, you'd get about 50 requests, Rob. Just, you know, from saying, you know, man says coffee in Melbourne isn't the best. They'd be like, they just wouldn't believe it. It's mental that they're like, they're so
Starting point is 00:31:16 militant about their coffee. I was just like, I couldn't work it out. I'm in Melbourne touring. Take me somewhere where they do coffee so I can taste it to see what's going on. But I don't get it, the obsession with coffee. I did an incredibly, spent three weeks in Australia of which I didn't even go to Melbourne, I went to Sydney, that's where I went. Have you driven down through the middle of Australia yet, Max? No, we haven't done that yet. It's fucking awful. I'm looking for work in Australia, Josh. I think it's a wonderful, I've never been but honestly, honestly it is but I would describe that as the darkest three weeks of my life.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Now, yeah, let's talk about your new podcast because it is an excellent idea. I hope so. I hope it's an excellent idea. I've had this idea for a while. I'd say this is, you know, when you go, this is a good elevator pitch for a podcast. Hit us with the idea. The podcast is called What Did You Do Yesterday? And it is me and David O'Doherty, who is obviously very funny and talented. An excellent comedian. He's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Great guy. So really well connected. And so we get good gifts. Within comedy. Within comedy. Yeah. I mean, I can... He doesn't know, like. I mean, I can... He doesn't know, like, you know, Eelil on mask. The Irish guy from Bridesmaids. He's must be on already. Next one, Eelil the Bonzer.
Starting point is 00:32:32 He knows a few Bonzers. Whereas, you know, I could get you Vinny Samways like that, but apparently there's no cut through. Where's the Samways traction? So basically, it is what it says, it is we get guests on who we think are interesting and we forensically analyze, like we really drill down. It's a way of interviewing them, but just by going through their day yesterday. From the minute they wake up to the minute they go to sleep. And everybody, apart from literally one day old babies will understand the concept will have had the same yesterday
Starting point is 00:33:07 And so we think it could like everybody on earth could listen to it and go. Oh, well, I was doing this There's no prep no one has to do any prep Also, like it we basically steal all the best bits of like food podcasts, right and we steal the all the best bits of parenting ones. There's no good bits in those podcasts. Yeah, other parenting ones, we can nick those too. Yeah, school drop off stuff. Do you know what's really interesting? The difference in someone's day when they have kids and when they don't have kids is fucking wild. It's like, you don't notice that until you say, and then someone goes, and then I just went for a coffee for a couple of hours, just wrote some things down and they're like, oh my God, I can't believe that. And then you've got like, I don't know, Ellis James talking
Starting point is 00:33:47 about the military, you've probably done his military school run, you know, like these things and you're like, oh wow. But what the thing is, is like we all live these days and I think it is sort of the antidote to, you know, high performance. Come on a podcast, burst into tears, tell us your life story. Oh, ripping up the crying, fuck off. Self-improvement bullshit. Has anyone cried yet? No. Oh, I was at my nan's funeral yesterday.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I just draw down into this. You know, like it could happen, like what did you do yesterday? Oh yeah, we buried my aunt. We haven't had that yet. I'd rescheduled. Yeah, you think you would. A couple of people have rescheduled lately. I wonder what they did yesterday. That's interesting. Yeah, I'll get to five o'clock. I've had three wanks
Starting point is 00:34:29 and I've not been outside. I'm doing a podcast tomorrow. I'm gonna have to reschedule. I sound like a monster. It's funny you mentioned that. Nish Kuma was episode one and he didn't do a lot. I'll be honest on that day. But actually the less, the more normal the day, the better it is. Cause that's what you... Yeah, you don't want someone who went to get their MBE do you want someone who's yeah? It's just a normal day Yeah, and and actually I I don't know if you think this and you you are a higher level of you know Inverted commas fame than me don't you go throwing around those fucking inverted commas. Thank you very much I think you could remove the inverted commas and we'd all agree
Starting point is 00:35:03 Okay fine Thank you But like But like But like But like But like But like But like But like But like But like I think you could remove the newcomers and we'd all agree. Okay fine. Thank you. It's weird we're all wearing golden top hats and none of us have mentioned it. But like... I've got a blue ticket.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I'm going to be holding that shoulder. But like actually, nobody's life is interesting. Like nobody's is. Even like if you've got David Beckham and you say what did you do yesterday? He's still doing the same shit everyone else is. Well that's the best bit. That's what makes it interesting. That's what the mundanity of life is interesting, like nobody's is. Even like if you've got David Beckham and you say what did you do yesterday? He's still doing the same shit that everyone else is. Well that's the best bit, that's what makes it interesting, that's what the mundanity of life is. So we've done about seven episodes, I'd just like to point out that Nish Kumar's episode
Starting point is 00:35:33 is far more scatological than any of the others. So if that- Doesn't he have a lot of shits? Well that was his day and we have to talk about someone's day, but it's really nice. I think it's really nice. It feels nice and it's like not every minute of everyone's day is hilarious or... No, but if you drill down into the reason why... What did you do?
Starting point is 00:35:55 I had to go to the shops to get that. What did you have to get? Why did you get? What do you need that for? And then you go, oh, I need this light bulb thing for that. And then it unravels what's going on in their life. When you find out how Sam Campbell gets himself to sleep, you will just be like, oh, go on, go on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:36:29 That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Like, what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:37:02 That's too much, isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday. What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash Business Platinum. So do you as a football fan, do you see your son? Are you trying to move him towards your passions?
Starting point is 00:37:35 He's got a good left foot. I worry that he's not as into it as he is into dinosaurs and cars because football is on the telly a lot and dad is working and like that is not, you know, maybe he might grow up hating football. I don't know. Are you worried though because Australia, I know you're into cricket as well in all sports but it's quite likely that UK soccer, football, he's not really going to get into in Australia, it's cricket and basketball is big because it's of the time zones are quite good for the UFC. Yeah, well, football is an Aussie rules. You might be stood at the side of an Aussie rules game, watching
Starting point is 00:38:08 your son getting beaten to shit. Yeah. With a massive. What a terrible waste of an afternoon. Wearing a vest with a massive mullet. Now he, football's the biggest participation sport in Australia, interestingly, but like, like it's a bit like the US. Oh, here we go, Mr. Stats trying to convince himself. Someone's been Googling. Hello. You try telling that to the old ruse, the soccer ruse. Yeah, but a bit like in the US, right, if they're good, if they're like athletically good they get picked off by the sports with money.
Starting point is 00:38:37 So like in Melbourne it's AFL and in Sydney it's rugby league, or cricket of course. But like I do what's interesting is having worked in football for so long because like you do sort of hope that your child might be an elite sports person because that would be cool I don't think it's a path to happiness I think it's like a really oh no it's quite bleak I think it's really whatever level you get to you get to the absolute top okay you've got so much money but I just don't think really hard to forge normal relationships etc etc and like the sacrifices you have to make and then if you're playing like league one and you're playing for you know Cambridge what a dream that would be and then the manager says I've sold you to Doncaster
Starting point is 00:39:12 Yeah, but I don't want to go to Doncaster. Well, that's it. You've got you know, I just think yeah So like I'd be quite happy if you know, let them do what they want to do if they're really talented That's great but like I from what I've seen and obviously it's not universal, there are lots of ex-pros who are very happy and have had lovely lives. I think it's really hard. I think it's really hard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Defo, because I mean in normal life, what is winning? Like, okay, I'm on a radio show, you're on a really popular one, or it wins in a war, but it's not really, it's sort of like, oh, that's a successful thing, let's pay my wage. Where in sport, it's like, did you win the race? Yes or no? Failure or success? You know, it's a lot more straight down the line. And it still have to be. I think that's really hard. And also, like, there is a chance, right, that the three of us have peaked, are peaking right now. But there is also a chance you never know, you might peak in 30 years, like if you're in a different area.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yeah, of what you do for living. If you're 20, you know, like, I remember Tony Cotty, excuse the extraordinary name drop, saying, you know, like you were playing and you were getting cheered by 30,000 people or whatever and suddenly you retire and it's like walking out one of those fire escapes and the door shuts so you can't get back in. No one gives a shit. And you're like, right, now I have to sort of rebuild my who I am and what I mean to people and all those things. So like, hopefully he just has a nice time. Do you think that's something that would be quite good if you played for England or Australia?
Starting point is 00:40:33 I was thinking of a really tortured analogy, a football analogy with parenting about, and I don't tend to do football analysis all the time, although some of my friends I've worked with for so long only use football analogies But like, you know how England and the Euros were like a team of moments, weren't they? Yeah, not many moments, but yeah. No, but like a lot of it was turgid and hard work and tiring and shit. And then there was the Jude Bellingham overhead kick. And that is, that feels to me like parenting, like absolutely encapsulated, wasn't it? Because so much of it isn't. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Yes. But you imagine the parenting is like Spain. Before you parent. Yeah, you think it is going to be tick-a-tacka, instant to you, me to you, dun dun dun, this is great. But if you become stronger with managing the kids and making sure that you're in charge of them, and put your foot down, unlike being a bit more of a passive Southgate, then you can get them really purring. No, you're absolutely right. But you see, my in-game, if I've got a plan, it's okay, put your foot down and like being a bit more of a passive Southgate, then you can get really purring. No, you're absolutely right. But you see, my in-game, if I've got a plan, it's okay, but my in-game management is appalling.
Starting point is 00:41:29 Right? Right? Interesting. I'm a great substitute off the bench guy. Oh really? Impacts. You pre-match him a bit all over the place. I start 2-0 down and then I'm an impact parent.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Also, I can make too many changes, so I can get it going, but then what I'll do is, if they're loving life, out of nowhere, I'll bring on another striker, aka, let's go swimming, and it's fired the clock. And lose like, whoa, too much on the offensive there on. But you do have the Jude Bellingham overhead kick, right? You have those moments where you go, ah, this guy is just the greatest fool. Would you ever have that moment on the plane to Australia? Is it all bleak? Your obsession is flying.
Starting point is 00:42:11 I just think it's mental to have 24 hours. I know he's not got an option. He's not got an option. I can't comprehend doing it. He hates it but he has to do it. We're talking to him about his day Rob. It happens that the day we're talking about is that one. Comprehend doing it. You know, it's it but he has to do it We're talking to him about his day Rob. It happens for the day That's a good idea You know what? You know what?
Starting point is 00:42:34 There is a moment and this is true even if you're not you know on a 24-hour flight, right the moment where When your kid hasn't fallen asleep when they are really should have done right. You know, you've had a night where they're up till two in the morning or whatever. Yeah. And then they and they actually go. And that five seconds when they are you they're done and you've closed the door. Like our door in Australia is the loudest door that's ever been fucking made in the world it's like what are you doing door like like it's just and you clearly manage to close the door and it clicks and they don't wake up again but that moment on a plane when he's down and you go
Starting point is 00:43:14 down down you look at each other you do the eyes you go down and you can just for that moment and you're so fucking exhausted and like it might be you know and it might be 20 minutes, it might be three hours, you don't know but for that minute your body just you have this it's like I can't explain the jubilation right it's like it's like you're it's like you're taken to another place it's like you're sort of elevated you're sort of looking down on yourself your body is like I once did the longest ever radio show in a shopping center in Cambridge it was six days long for BBC Radio Cambridge yeah yeah I did I did it for children in need and I held the world record for it took me longer to get it
Starting point is 00:43:58 than I held it for cuz some guy in Slovenia's died off for six days yeah what child is in need your one for six days so this was is in need? You're one home for six days. So, this was like... Tell you who's in need, the fucking... The guy who needs attention so much. He's done six days. It was early in my career, it was 2004, I was desperate. But the next day, I remember I finished, and I think you could have like, I could have 15 minutes off every eight hours so I'd get to go bed at midnight for see I got waking up and I go here's the Eagles you play two songs back to back all right and then go to sleep yeah so I do the nights like that oh my god but anyway I remember going to the pub for a pint when I finished I said no I'm gonna have a pint of the
Starting point is 00:44:39 Salisbury Arms and I got so tired I remember lying in bed that and I was sort of twitching with tiredness and that is the same on the plane or just anywhere when they've had a shit night and Ian's sleep has been okay but we've had some pretty tough times. That is just the single greatest moment. So it's not worth the flight, let me tell you, it's not worth the work. But but when you're on the flight, that moment. When they go down. Do you know what it's like? Have you ever been kicked in the balls? And the pain is so bad, but the elation when the pain fades, I often think, I think it was worth being kicked
Starting point is 00:45:18 in the balls. But the feeling when the pain goes is better than any feeling you can have in the world. I love the way three blokes talk about parenting and I spoke about football for an hour. Now we're on how painful it is to be kicked in the nuts. It's like 1997, all the mums are just going, I've been kicking the bollocks getting paid for this. This does come free with loaded magazine. I'm concerned that I haven't spent enough time talking about how what a brilliant mum
Starting point is 00:45:46 Jamie is. Oh, we can do that in a minute, don't you worry mate. Well, I did that anyway. Don't worry about that. There is one with the flight to Australia. Have you seen, I don't know if you've been tempted by it, there's one that goes direct from London to Sydney. 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:46:02 That hasn't started yet, but we do do London to Perth mostly, like if we can get on that one, because, okay, 16 and a half, that is bad. And you know, you know it's long when even like, you know, at the start, there's like the computerised plane that says this is your journey. Even that takes about two hours. Yeah, just to watch it go round. We're still fucking, just like somewhere near Sri Lanka, seriously. Like.
Starting point is 00:46:22 And how long's Perth, how long's the bit once you get to Australia? Perth to Melbourne is like four hours. And actually the, this is really nerdy travel chat, but like the, that's the same plane and they just take you to a room like, and Adam Hills is always in that room, and then you see, for an hour, and then you go back on the same plane. Whereas if you go, we're going by Singapore next week and Singapore airport is the most chaotic bit and you're like, I don't need fucking chaos and then nine hours, like this is, but like when you get, and also I tell you the worst, the Perth one lands in the UK at about 5 a.m. so you can jump in a taxi and you get to your, like, you get, we're in East London, it's an hour, this
Starting point is 00:47:01 time when we landed it was 7.30 a.m. we got in the car and he put you could see he had Google Maps on and it went two and a half hours and you know like for normally for two and a half hours journey that's like an event you're like you get your snacks ready yeah get stuff what we are just like with we're all empty vessels we're totally crushed oh my god we're sitting in this car and i've not booked a big enough car and we've got a lot of luggage we've got a scooter and a pram and like and honestly and Jamie's sitting there with a bag enough car and we've got a lot of luggage. We've got a scooter and a pram and like, and honestly, and Jamie's sitting there with a bag on her and we just sat on the M4 and I'm like, I just want to die.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Because it is too far really to travel the kids for like a holiday. When I'm doing Australia, I'm going out for a couple of weeks and Lou's going to join me with the kids. When are you coming? That's October November 2025. Will you come for a cup of tea? Yeah definitely yeah come to the gig I'm doing Hammer Hall Hammer Hall whatever it's called. I haven't been to a thing for you know really I work in the evenings and I have a small child Rob I just don't you know my socializing is tinker at the cafe between 7.30 and 8.45, have a coffee and that is all the social life.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Do one of Jamie's lines, I'm bloody ill, don't get up for the nap, fingers crossed. But I'll message you when I'm over there. But yeah, they're coming out, but they'll be older then, they'll be like, um, nearly, nearly 10 and eight. So that's good because that's like flight is fun when you're eight. Yeah exactly. What's something really fun about two and a half is like you know that they sort of understand the things but not the scale so like obviously he just thinks we could go to Australia this afternoon and and then when we get to Australia he'd be like oh can we just go to what he calls balanced bike park in London fields, could just go there. But also he's and he's just got past one of my favorite stages,
Starting point is 00:48:48 which was not understanding like if it's a little toy motorbike, you can't ride it and just trying to get on like a little absolute greatest bit when he's like, or like there's a tiny staircase in a doll's house. He'll try and climb it like it's the stairs. But that is I'll be sad when he doesn't do those things. I think I house he'll try and climb it like it's the stairs. I'd be sad when he doesn't do those things I think. I think he'd be quite happy, don't him doing that at 23. That is true, there is a limit. Right, shall we do the final question Josh?
Starting point is 00:49:15 Yeah we always end with the same question. Which is what is amazing about Jamie, your partner, as a parent and what is the one thing she does that she will listen to this and when she hears it she'll go, fair enough that I can imagine that is frustrating. It's a good way to get that across to her in a way isn't it Rob? Yeah no totally, totally. So where I am think I am the luckiest is A, like I have to sleep, I just sleep or I just love sleep and she has a constitution which is just insane that she can you know during the Euros it was tough she was first trimester and I was saying I did work till 11 because it went to penalties So you like if he's up at five that you don't win that you don't win that fight
Starting point is 00:49:52 but I need to sleep more than she needs to sleep, but because she's a primary school teacher she understands like Rotating toys and like messy play and water play and all those things like how would anybody know right? I guess you could read a book about it, but like, it's taken me six months and I'm only halfway through the Thursday Murder Club. I don't have time to read books, right? And so just having that knowledge of going, oh, this is really great for their development and this, you know, is just, I feel so lucky that she knows, she just knows that stuff and she's, you know, totally natural at it. And like, just like, it's weird, isn't it? You've definitely spoken about this before, but about it's so,
Starting point is 00:50:31 it's rare that you now do something you're not good at. Now, a lot of listeners might disagree with that for me, but like, I've stopped doing things I'm not good at because I'm pretty fine. Yeah. Right. Like why would I try ultimate frisbee? I'm just not very good at it. Yeah, just out your back. But this is like a thing where you're like, shit, I'm not good at it. Like, am I good at this? I don't know if I'm good at this. And she isn't total natural. And you know, so that is, I would say like the fact that she just has all this knowledge and is so good at it is sort of mind blowing, really, I would say.
Starting point is 00:51:02 And the bad? So, let's rephrase the question. The feedback that I would give to her. An appraisal, appraisal sounds worse actually. What's the thing that maybe frustrates you a little bit about the parenting that- I think this is a really, a real traditional one is that like, and I was obviously before like,
Starting point is 00:51:22 my work is still work and I know it isn't as bad. I just know it isn't as bad, but I still had to go to work. So like, you know, I had to go and do it. I'm still like, I'm not as tired, but I am also tired. Like my life hasn't got exponentially easier since this all began. My life is also also hard, just not as hard. And, you know, I, I, so I'm also tired, I would say. I am also tired. Not as tired, but also tired. I love you, Deally, but I am tired. I am also tired. Arguing about who's most tired is, me and Lude used to do it all the time. We made a rule, no one ever wins when we argue over who's most tired. If you've done loads of
Starting point is 00:52:01 work or loads of the kids, no one ever wins. So we agreed early doors that we never make it competition and then we was having an argument about it and I went, look, we said this, we'll never make it competition. And she screamed in my face, I know it's not a competition, but if it was one, I'd win. So, so, and she, Jamie would always win. I always say you would win, but she has this thing that I have never spent a whole, like 24 hours because of my work is like every day. I'm doing probably six days a week or some evening and she went to Italy for six days last year and so I got Josh's excellent babysitter, Marteen, to do two hours a day because I had
Starting point is 00:52:36 to work. Right? So I had just two hours a day to just sort myself out, get my work done, whatever. So it is a thing where I have never done a whole day. I'm not, but you still got to it. You know, you still went on your trip. I just managed it in a different way. You had to have someone else to do. Yeah. Yeah. But there were a couple of days where I didn't have to, but like, I was like, I'd like to. Well, Martyn's got to eat, hasn't she? Exactly. Well, also as well,
Starting point is 00:52:57 for that two hours, if it means that you can get all your work done, mentally calm down and then be a better parent after that, then it's, I think it's good to do that. Get your admin done, all that kind of stuff needs doing. Tell that to Jamie, right? Tell her, she's listening to this, say that was the argument I used, but it doesn't work for her. Well I'm not being dragged into this. You're being dragged into this. Well no, but then it's each their own, but then maybe what Jamie's thinking is, she's
Starting point is 00:53:19 doing 24 hours of the day all the time, then what she wants really is you to fill the sufferers. She wants me to fill the sufferers. I think, Rob, we've got to think about this. We've got a loyal listener here. We should take her side over the person. Well, yeah. And I totally agree with Jamie, actually. I used to think, when Lou went away before, for like three nights, and I had both kids on my own just with the kids, I'd be like on it and you go like, I'm going to tidy before they do that and if I get all that tidy when they go to bed and that's fine because you can do that for three days but if you're the main default parent for weeks
Starting point is 00:53:55 and weeks and weeks it's just so intense and day after day it's the same, it's the same. For a few days you sort of can. So my tip would be don't try and get the house really nice and tidy when they come back and go, look how calm, organised and well I've done. Even if you're lying, just come back to chaos and go, I'm really sorry, it's been chaos, it's been mad, hope you've had a good time, but you go upstairs and have a bath and let me tidy now. And even if you have to create a bit of mess because it hasn't been, they want to walk
Starting point is 00:54:24 back in and go, look look I knew he'd fucking struggle so you've had an absolutely perfect week he's slept 10 hours he's like 12 hours yeah he slept all week I've slept I've been to the gym the house is tidy we're all good they'll hate that have you ever sort of said they didn't sleep when they did sleep I haven't done that but no I'd never do that I'd never do that Rob I'd never do that. Rob? What's that? Have you ever said? You want all of that and you know keeping it clean and tidy and whatever is I'm I'm just gonna have a really great shower when they're both about ten. The amount of time I'm in a cafe and Jamie's like your t-shirt's the wrong way around. I was inside out I'm like wow I just got dressed in the dark again like what are you gonna do?
Starting point is 00:55:18 Yeah I know because I'm on the sleeve. Well it's like Rob, not a go, Rob was like oh you, you're wearing the same t shirt you wore to the gig last night. It's like, yeah, because I reached for the t shirt when I woke up and I haven't had a chance to get it changed. Yeah, that's life. Yeah, that's life. And as we always finish on a song, Max, you want to take that in mind? Jamie will have readied you for this. And what's the name of your pod again about what your guests did the day before? It's called What Did You Do Yesterday.
Starting point is 00:55:48 What Did You Do Yesterday with Max Rushton, David O'Dockerty, Nish Kumar opening episode. Who else you got coming up? Lou Sanders did you say? Lou Sanders, James A. Castor, Ellis James, Jim Brister, Josie Long, Natalie Cassidy, who have I forgotten some other? Sam Campbell. Lots of good people. Oh brilliant. I think it's going lots of good people I believe I think it's gonna be great success I'm up for it I'm listening well yeah and you can come on if you want I'm up for it I'll come on it yeah yeah yeah we're gonna be a strong the Australian base tomorrow at 11 a.m. cuz I just have a drop out no
Starting point is 00:56:16 no someone's probably on acid right now I can't come on tomorrow so thanks thanks for having me I had a nice time. Cheers, Max. We'll see you soon. All right. Cheers. Bye. Cheers, mate. Bye. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?
Starting point is 00:56:47 That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Like, what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.

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