Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP6: Joe Marler

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the rugny player and podcaster - Joe Marler. Listen to Joe's podcast 'Things People Do' wherever you get your podcast now. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride

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one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high 2 focused ultrasound procedures, 1 specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity focused ultrasound waves, 0 incisions, and that very same day, 2 steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Elliot, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh?

Josh. Widdicombe? Widdicombe. Well done. Well done, Elliot. I did it. I did it. In the middle, I like that.

I did it, leave me alone. Come on, woman, leave me alone. Back off, mum. Get off my case. This is my nephew Elliot. He doesn't, she's not even his mum. He's like for fuck sake auntie. Yeah look, come around here. I see once every six months now you want to get your gob on a podcast you listen to. Put a shift in. I mean I'm making it up, she might be really involved. Well let's see. This is my nephew Elliot who will be three in October. This is the first time I met him. No, he was trying to tell me about the vending machine Nana got his chocolate buttons from in between saying your names.

Elliot is one of those annoying children that eats everything. And if you tried to test him with a prawn, he'd bite your hand off. Loves a prawn. I don't have kids, but I love being an auntie to Elliot and his cousin Rosie, who's almost one. Yeah, is almost one year old cousin Rosie, who's almost one. Yeah, is almost one year old. Oh, who's almost one? What did you think it was like a deeper philosophical, she's almost one. No, it's like, I don't have kids,

but I love being an auntie to Elliot and his cousin Rosie, who's almost one. I thought she meant to do almost a kid. Oh, right. What is she like a kind of? So almost my niece. Yeah, almost my niece. I wasn't sure a parenting podcast

was for me but then you interviewed Tom Allen I was hooked there we go that was early doors as well that was early doors thanks for last Kate from Birmingham Elliot from oh sorry red itch I wouldn't have got that anyway red itch been there done a gig there where is it I'd say what though do you want me to Google it we doing it red itch let's find out out. I was in Andover the other day. Oh yeah, Andover the Lights. Yep, good venue that is. No Nando's in Andover.

You have to go to Basingstoke. No Nandover. How did I not do that? Go back Rob, rebook. Right, we're doing it again Andover. If I had a bloody time machine, I'd go back and do that. Oh, Redditch is south of Birmingham near Worcester. Oh nice.

Royal Immanent Spa, Kidam Insta, all that malarkey. Yeah, and I know that they had a fake Nando's called Frangos. How was it? But it was decent actually, because basically there's a big Portuguese community in Andover because they moved there to pick watercress, which some lady called Mary told me, who sounded like she had been in Andover forever.

Rob. Yes, what's going on? Can I talk to you about stand-up comedy? Is there a big exciting announcement? There is a big exciting announcement. I've kept this under wraps, Rob. Really? I don't know what it could be. Go on. Yeah.

I've decided not to go on tour. Right, OK, sure. Good decision. Yeah. I saw a couple of the previews. I think it's the right thing to do. You don't over-stretch yourself. You don't really love it anymore.

Good decision. No, I'm going on tour. I'm incredibly excited. Great idea, I think you've been loving it, you're better than ever. Great shows coming up, why not really take it to the rest of the country. Good for you. So, I've been told to announce it exclusively on the podcast today. Oh, right, first question, dynamic pricing?

Yeah, it starts at £1 and it goes up to £6. No, you're not doing, you're just doing a flat fee. I'm not doing dynamic pricing, I'm not, dynamic pricing? Yeah, it starts at one pound and it goes up to six. No, you're not doing, you're just doing a flat fee. I'm not doing dynamic pricing. I'm not doing dynamic pricing. So whatever you do, don't get in early. Leave it. Leave it.

Leave it late, you'll be fine. No, I will sell out. Where you playing? Can I see your dates? Have you got your dates? What's the tour called? The tour is called Not My Cup Of Tea. Not My Cup Of Tea.

Yeah, it's a very Joshua-like title. I'm excited about the poster. I don't know what I'm meant to say, Rob. You drinking tea? I am drinking tea on the poster, Rob. I went all the way to Margate to drink tea. Sat down on a, I think you're going to be sat down on a deck chair or something seaside-y with a cup of tea. No, it's in a house. Let me find it. Why did you go to Margate for a house?

Because it was like, we wanted a really old style house and it was easier to find one and go there than build one in a studio. Right, you should have just gone round Tom Allen's house. Yeah, I should have just gone round Tom Allen's house. But his fees are too high. Ever since he knows that his appearance on this podcast got us listeners, He's been absolutely...

What we're plugging, Robert Ramesh, watch that. Oh, you're on my Sky TV thing this morning. Oh really? Heavy metal. Yeah. Anyway, let's get back to your tour. Yeah, well, it's actually quite good that you're filling it in because my agent's currently typing in response to what do I need to say about the tour? She said for which app?

And I said this Friday. And now she's typing. Are you worried that not my cup of tea is gonna like be really easy for reviewers to use against you? Well, I don't care about the reviewers, Rob. Okay, why are you telling me that by staring me dead in the eye, sat forward, licking your lips?

Because I'm hard. Right, so you don't care at all about reviewers. If there's a review of your tour show, will you read it? No. No? I haven't read a review of my tour show in over a decade. Really? So if I'm making all the same mistakes every time I do apologize to everyone. But it's less mentally exhausting for Josh to read through them all. I'm sorry

so what's the announcement where are you going what you do? The reason I don't care what reviewers say Rob about that title is if they're gonna hate me they're gonna hate me they're not gonna go if they use the title against me fine. Okay. I also think if it's not your cup of tea fine either is your cup of tea or isn't it a cup of tea if you're listening to this podcast is your cup of tea yes yeah so not my words the words of my agent that's a funny title what not my words not my words not my joke it goes on sale next week sign up to my mailing list on my website and you will access the pre-sale. So I'm not doing dynamic pricing, obviously, because I didn't know it existed till a week ago so I didn't have the option.

But if you sign up before 9am on Thursday the 19th, then you will get the first dibs on tickets. And without blind smoke up your butt, you're not doing arenas. So the tours will sell out straight away. And then it will. You'd hope so. It will. And the other option is it will sell out and then you might be able to put on an extra night.

But if your schedule is too busy, you probably won't. So you do need to get in quite quick when they're in theaters because they have such a strong mailing list on their own. So if you want to see Josh, I would recommend. Get in ahead of the theater because I want the fans and me rather than just people that happen to live there to come. Because that's what happens sometimes. But I will take them. I will take them.

Look, and over the lights, no one at that gig last night has bought tickets to the tour. They only come and saw me because it was a five minute walk from their house. Yeah, yeah. That's how touring works in the beginning. Yeah, when you're doing the small venues, you're just the thing that's happening in the town.

But now, hopefully. It's me, Peter Andre, T-Rex tribute. Yeah. Exactly. Frangos. Quick frangos. So, go to joshwidicom.... that's the difficult bit for me Rob. It can't be. Is it.co.uk or is it.com? I'll be honest with you, I don't visit it much.

Is it on your homepage? It's on my bookmarks actually. Oh, I've just had some more confirmed, some dates. Well, tell us where you're going. Name me a place. Okay, Inverness. Yes, that's one of the ones I've just had confirmed. Do you know what? I'd advise you to not do this

because I said I was doing Woking and I'm not doing Woking and I still get people from Woking going, I'm doing Eden Court in Inverness but that isn't on this leg of the talk. Right, okay, but at some point you'll be doing Inverness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you live in Inverness, for the isn't on this leg of the tour. Right, okay, but at some point you'll be doing Inverness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you live in Inverness, for the love of God,

don't buy tickets to Andover because you feel I won't arrive. Apart from that, apparently they've got a new thing in the office, Rob. Yeah? They plot all the things on a map and it shows the hot spots around the country so that everywhere is covered by dates. Really? A bit like a COVID outbreak, like, Matt. Exactly, yeah.

And so there will be dates near you. Great, good announcement. So basically bottom line is sign up to the pre-sale link and then actual information will get to you. Sign up to my mailing list on joshwiddicom.com. There we go. Josh Widdicom, comedian and presenter. I'm Googling it, that's a gamble.

For fuck's sake, the first picture is a cutout of my face from celebrity cutouts. joshwiddicom.com and it'll come up at the bottom, sign up to mailing list. For fuck's sake, the first picture is a cutout of my face from celebrity cutouts. JoshWiddicombe.com and it'll come up at the bottom, sign up to mailing list. Just put your email in there. What's your email Rob? Just read it out. Oh my god, the photo view is awful on the first image on Google, isn't it?

It's fucking terrible, isn't it? That's an awful first one. I know there's some great photos of you on Google image there. I don't really want to look, do I? I could be if, oh, we've got silly wanker at from the university. We've got one where you literally look 25 stone heavy. And I don't know when that was.

When was that? I've never seen you that heavy. If you go to Josh Whittaker and just go straight to images, right? Yeah, I've done that. First row, fine. Absolutely textbook Josh Whittaker. Second row, fine as well.

A couple of nice ones of you and Rose. Third row decent as well. Fourth row is when you're 25 stone, you look like Jeff Row, far left. And then you've got silly hat and then you've just got a few of you looking a bit confused. Fucking hell! Look at this one! Fucking Nora! Which one? Look at the size of me here!

Is it you sat with a blue open shirt? Yeah, what's happening there? You look big there. What is going on? Are you on steroids or something? You know sometimes steroids can bloat you out. What's going on? Because you don't look like you look bloat, you just look bigger all over.

Right, we're gonna put that on. I've just put it on a group. Why do you look so big? I was bigger at a point Rob. Just put it on a group. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha VX, catch Josh Wood to come on tour. God, that was my last tour. Fucking hell. Well, this tour I'm gonna look a bit lighter on my feet. Did you have your appendix out in 2019? Yeah, sorry, what are you doing? Let's just come up. There's a photo of you with double thumbs up

in a hospital gown. Oh yeah. Last leg Lynch pin, posing to picture himself on Instagram, smiling in his hospital bed with a caption, can highly recommend having your appendix out, absolute time of my life on morphine. There you go.

True, true. Appendix out. All right, oh my god. Right, guest this week Josh, I'm excited about this guest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so good. I think he's a great guy. I absolutely hate his spool, Richard Rugby, so we won't bog him down talking about that. However, great guy, very funny, very likable, has his own podcast. I'm a big Joe Marla fan already. And we haven't recorded this as of yet, have we Rob? No, so by the end of it I might have changed my mind, but free show. I'm a big Joe Marla fan already. And we haven't recorded this as of yet. Have we Rob? No. So by the end of it, I might have changed my mind, but yeah, show on buzzing to meet Joe Marla. Yeah, can't wait. Right. Is Joe Marla bring him on.

Joe Marla, welcome to parenting hell. We should inform the listeners that you are at Harlequin's training ground. Would that be correct? Yep, that's where I'm at. And behind you is two massive photos of I imagine rugby legends that I don't know. No, it's just one. It's the same bloke. But different ages. Bloody hell, he looks better as an old bloke, doesn't he? I'll pass that on to him, but he's dead, so he probably won't get the message. That is... Is that the original Harley Quinn that the team's named after? It's one of the big

Harley Quinns. His name's Waval Wakefield. What a name. Okay, I don't know anything. Did I play with him? Was that going to be your next move? No, no, no. Super aggressive start to the episode. Was he your apprentice that used to do your boots? Yeah, Waffle Wakefield. So now I'm in a Google Waffle Wakefield.

So you're a trainer? He's calling him Beckingham. Go on Waffle. Oh bloody hell. I'm not sure he spoke like you, mate. Hang on. Well, I don't want to go in too hard in case he did something really important, but I'm going to go with Waffle.

I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to go with Waffle. I'm going to beckon him. Go on. Well, bloody hell. What do you know? I'm not sure he spoke like you, mate. I don't know. But I don't go into it in case you did something really important. We only play 29 times and there's a double picture of him.

But I need to be probably administrator then in the next. No, no, no. They only played like twice or three times a year back then. So, all right. OK, but it's up to you if you want to mock the dead. That's completely you. You know what that's on me. It was the conservative politician as well, so Tory in it rugby. It's weird though because a lot of the lads in it are quite normal but the top brass is a, I don't know

why we've gone down the political route. Abbey Kitch you got joke? Yeah but it's a parenting podcast. It was a parenting podcast. Joe, how did you get away with this? You know, your proper job is a rugby player and then you've got a podcast on the side, which eventually will be like your full time job, I imagine. Which is massive. It's huge. You know, I'm a bigger fan of your podcast and the whole rugby personally. Yeah, I wouldn't have ever guessed that from the opening gambit from you.

So how do you get away with doing all your podcast stuff when you're supposed to do they not going to hump with this or are you sneaking out? What's going on? No, well they do get the hump, the amount of warnings I've had, I think I'm on my final written warning, but I do things really quietly and I'm injured at the minute as well. So I just, I do things really quietly and I'm injured at the minute as well. So I just, I was meant to be back already. So I should be like with the team and that I got my kids to jump up and down on my foot to make it longer. So we're trying to get past Christmas here.

So I've got my own schedule. So that's how I sneak about getting it. But it's a bit of a juggling act sometimes, but they have been very good to me or, you know, just ignored me because they see me more of a hassle than to get involved in trying to stop me doing it. But yeah, I like doing it mixing up rugby and a bit of podcasting. I love it. How many kids you got Joe?

Talk us through. Let's get the facts out first. I've got four kids. Oh, I've got four kids. I've got a 10 year old boy, an eight year old old girl a five year old boy and a three year old girl You close your eyes as if deep in thought of that moment because it gets to the point where you go Hang on What are their names again? And what their age is? I had to like just concentrate on getting it right

I'm now considering calling my wife and going am I sure that they're this old and it's definitely four Yeah, and they're definitely all mine. What's the crack? But you can start up a different fight. Are you going to go for a fifth? Um, I'd like to. Really? Really? Is it because you're always playing rugby or doing a podcast? You never have to do any

of that? There's a beauty, isn't it? There's a beauty. You go, it must be so hard having so many kids in my book. It's the hecticness of it. And I'm like, I'm away for six months of the year. So yeah, it's really hard. So how does your partner deal with it then? Well, she's a fucking superstar. I've always described her as someone that was like born to be a mom, but I don't know whether that description was at the very start or that's what I've

sort of forced down her head to justify just going away all the time to do this this is what you're you're amazing at it this is what you're born to do you crack on let's have another one and then I'll fuck off again but then does she agree with that or that does she love it no she does love it she's amazing you can joke when people go what do you do she's like well I'm a mum yeah they go oh yeah but what do you do she's like. You can joke when people go, what do you do? She's like, well, I'm a mom. Oh yeah, but what do you do? She's like, what else can I do? Like this force force. She hasn't got time to fart, mate, let alone fucking do another job. Well, I do think it's a weird thing because back in the nineties, if your mom was a career woman and she went out and worked, she was judged like, Oh, don't worry about your kids. You're not looking

after them. And now I feel like it's great because obviously it's swung a bit where women yeah have got more opportunities like in traditional careers and not being a mum and staying at home but then if you are staying at home looking after the kids there's almost like a judgment of like oh and yeah i haven't got a career as well you know and there's like a kind of if you ask someone what they do like if you're asking them if you're doing a gig or something and someone's a mom or dad, they'll always say just a, won't they? And you're like dismissing it themselves because they feel like it's not enough. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. They're almost too scared to just say, I'm just a mom. Like, well, hang on, try doing the parenting. I don't know what the situation is with you two and how much you actually tried doing the parenting job or that role. Whenever I joke with her, I go, right, I've got to go out and work, you know, and she's like, yeah, fucking work. Like you're sitting on your ass fucking rugby all the time or you're going podcasting. It's not really work. I'm like, well, it's sort of paying for the house, so we'll crack on with it.

Or maybe we could swap roles. Like you do my job and I'll do your day to day stuff. And she goes, all right then. Yeah, cool. Actually, she's playing the same amount of rugby as you at the moment. Very good. Fucking hell. Is this my wife Daisy in Rob Beckett form? You know, you don't actually fucking do anything.

I could do what you do. You plod around a rugby field and then punch someone occasionally and get banned. So right. Okay. It's a skill. It's an unappreciated skill. But then doing the role reverse, I'm like, fucking hell, you're right. Never dream of mocking the situation of you're sitting on your ass all the time, because it's nonstop. No. Because you've got the little one that's three, not at school yet. That's running around being mad mental. And then you've also

got to make sure the kids are in school with the right stuff for the right thing, four different drop offs, four different pickups. Like I struggle with the logistics. Obviously Lou takes more of the lead because I'm away quite a lot, but when I'm at home, I'm like on it, but it's like the logistics of getting them to and from. Do you do a lot of school drop offs and stuff? Or yeah, I try. Yeah, no, I get involved as much as I can, mate.

I love it. We didn't have four kids to just fuck him off and get everyone else to do everything I we had him because we wanted kids young and we wanted to sort of grow up with them a little bit and we're still kind Of doing that. He's 24. We had to us was a 24. Yeah, it's 24. Yeah Yeah, it's 24 when we had Jasper and then all our mates around us were like, what are you doing? And I was like, well, what do you mean what I'm doing? It's great.

And how do you know it's shit? Because you like, I've got kids and they're like, yeah, but look how great our life is without kids. And I'm like, yeah, it's a good point, but we're just going to have a great life with the kids. So like, we tried as hard as possible early on, still like doing everything with all our mates, going down a pipe or whatever, and then just taking the kids with us. And Jasper, the eldest, sort of experienced a lot of that. He'd come to everything and they'd be like,

what the fuck? And then it got to the point, it was the second and then you get to the third and then the group of mates are a little bit like, we love your kids and we love you guys, but like you're sort of ruining our night now. Do you mind just maybe like dipping out of this Friday night or dipping out of the weekend away with the couples and you're like, cool, we're going to go find some new parent friends. Yeah, because you have to at that age really, because your mates are so far off. Because 24 is quite young for our generation to have kids, isn't it? I wanted to ask you boys, how many kids have you got each? Two each.

So together we've got four. Together you've got four, cool. You know when you go away and stuff, what the fuck, what's wrong with you? You're just funny. You're just funny. You're funny and the fact that when you're just talking about going away with four kids, I'm just already excited to hear how awful it is. No, I'm not saying about going away.

I meant when you go away and do your gigs. Right. Sorry. You do your bits and that lot. Do you find yourselves like getting that guilt at all? Yeah, totally. Like consumer guilt sometimes. Yeah.

You're like, oh, fucking hell. But you're also fighting the fact that you're like, I'm going to do a gig and do what I love. And so you do that. And then you go, that doesn't help the guilt. That doesn't help. No, but you get to forget it for a minute. And then when you realize fucking hell, this is amazing.

Like you're in front of thousands of people making them all laugh. And then you get flicked back to going, Oh fuck, the missus at home and probably clearing up a shit on the floor or Yeah, one of the kids punch the other one and thinking you're there like, Oh, works really tough. It was a tough crowd tonight, but actually it was the night of your life. Do you ever find yourself maybe telling a poor person? I suppose the problem for you is your results are published. So you can't go. It was a bad match when you've won.

Well you say that Josh, but they still publish rugby results. Excellent. He's still going with it. But you do say they are published, but fortunately like my wife has never taken an interest in rugby whatsoever. We got together at school. It was never like a wag situation because let's face it, I was never going to nail down a whack was I look at the state of the face on it. It was

more case. She still doesn't know the rules of the game. Yeah, I can come back. She doesn't even watch the games. I can come and there's no way she's looking on BBC sport for the results. I could come back and say, look, love, it was great. We won 50 nil. I scored five tries like dream and then she'll go that's great. Can you do the dinner or that's great? Jasper's punched his sister. Can you go and sort that out? Right. Yeah, which is brilliant because then I get to switch off completely from The sort of rugby persona to then just going back to being normal

I did was less interest in your career out of your children and your wife. Because I realized my children are never interested in my work and I don't think they ever will be. And I think that's quite healthy. Like I suppose rugby's more exciting than your dad being a no bed on TV. Kids aren't in favor of you being a no bed on TV. You know what? They're not that fussed whether I've done the wheel with Michael McIntyre. It doesn't in favor of you being a no bed on TV. You know what, they're not that fussed

whether I've done The Wheel with Michael McIntyre. It doesn't really taste the same. They're not really aware. No. But if you did a show that they did then, you know. But it's more impressive to show rugby highlights to your kid than a witty line on last leg at 11 p.m. My kids never say how it's work.

No, they haven't got an interest. The kids always go, why are you going to work? Or yeah, what are you going to work for? Don't go or Jasper, my eldest who loves sport absolutely loves it. But he loves football. He's hardcore football guy and not bothered in the slightest. And also like then just antagonize me mainly about like rivals, like Saracens, he'll support Saracens who are our hardest rivals. Or he'll ask for a Saracens kit for Christmas or something like that. And then I'm like, are you seriously fucking winding me up?

So he takes a bit more of an interest in it, but more so that he can pick holes and wind up. Like the fact that I've never scored a try for England, he's like, mate, you're not a real rugby player because you can't score. And I'm like, he brings me back down to earth quite hard. And it's great. I love it. At school, there was two guys that were good at rugby. And basically in PE, they just run through all of us. Was that what you were like? Were you just like, massive and you just smashed everyone out the way? No, I was wide. Fucking fat, actually. Why am I trying to be pissed?

Like the weekly shot would be done on the Monday and all the fucking crisps, all the snacks, they're out, they're gone by Tuesday. So how did you sort of get into shape then and change that into muscle? You're trying to put yourself down. You know, you're in great shape. Yeah, it was about 14, 15 when all my mates were talking about, like, oh, this girl. And then I'm

like, oh, maybe I should try and lose a little bit of weight. So I started trying to run back home from school. But within the first week, some of the older boys that are in sixth form and it's in this tubby loser running down the road with his backpack in his P.E. kit. And then I just feel like, oh, wanker. And then just felt something hit me on the back and I'm like, oh God, what? And then I get home and then parents like, what's that on your back then? And they'd thrown like McDonald's, like sweet chili sauces and that like open it and just thrown it on me like that. And then I was like, probably not going to take that route home running anymore. But the alternative was really hilly. So I was like, I'm not going to take that route home running anymore. The alternative was really hilly.

So I was like, I'm not going to take that other route either. Cause that's too fucking hard. So I just sacked it off and then rugby sort of took off when I moved out at 16. I'll find out if you like footballer, you're identified from seven. Yeah. Is that not the case in rugby or were you kind of a exception? Rugby is different because it is so physical based. Yeah. Is that not the case in rugby or were you kind of a exception? Rugby is different because it is so physical based. Yeah. You can identify an eight, nine, ten year old kid who's pretty good, pretty skillful, but they're small and then you've got to sort

of weigh out a bit. Are they going to have a lot growth spur? Are they going to get a beard? Are they going to like talk deep or something like that? So you have to wait a little bit and see what the physical outcome is of them. And rugby is a bit later because I don't know, it's just later because no one really likes it. There's not as many people. The reason you start with fucking six, seven year old kids at football is because every fucker plays it. Yeah. You have to, you have to start them early because everyone wants to poach them early.

Are any of your kids showing the signs that they could be good at rugby? Well, my eldest daughter, Maggie, she has got a massive back. I mean, I don't even know what that means. It's got a really good, does that not mean you've got a big front as well? Like, no, no, she hasn't actually. All fairness to her. It's like she's got a massive back. She's got a great frame to her back.

Yeah. And I said to my wife, I went days. I'm going to turn her into a power lifter. Like I've got a gym in my garage at home and I go in there for a bit of me time to get away Just like that be my sanctuary But now it's like being invaded by all the kids who want to try out all the different machines and lift up All the weights and the competition to him, but like Maggie's really strong She can I lift her eldest brother and she's like really proud of it and I'm like, she's got a massive back

I'm just like, oh, do you think that's a nice thing to say about your daughter? I said, Well, it's not a horrible thing to say, is it? No, it's a good thing. Big, you know, athletic and strong. That's a good and have you got a big back, Joe? Yeah, I've got a big back. One of my many nicknames is quasi Marla because I look like the bloke who used to ring the bell. Just like that. So I don't know if that's a compliment when they say that. But yeah,

she's got a big old back. Could she be a swimmer? Big shoulders and a back. You need that for swimming. Don't you have big shoulders and a back or is the back better for lifting? Back's much better for lifting Rob, actually. That's fine. You know, is there money in women's rugby? No, no, really? No, then there's definitely no money in women's powerlifting. So I don't know why I recommend either, either to her. I was like, maybe we just turn her into a golfer, but she's not interested in that. But the only other one is Felix who's the five year old and the only sign he's

shown being interested in the sport or being good at it is his anger. His aggression. He can fight like fuck. Like he is an angry... And where do you think he gets that from? I've been racking my brain for a good four or five years now. Um... Your personality is so chilled and funny and relaxed,

but on the pitch, I've seen clips of you lose it, but I don't know if you are losing it or you're pretending to lose it or you can just get fired up. Are you in control in those moments or has the red mist descended and you're in another place? I would probably say I'm more in control now than I was, but previously it was complete red mist, didn't know what was going on, just lose it.

And I don't know why I'd lose it. I just lose the plot for no reason. The amount of times that I've been banned or done something stupid and then gone, fuck, I have no idea. Almost I've blacked out and just done something there with rage. Or the weirdest one was when we beat our rivals at home in a game. And I hated them, really despised them because they were like, well known

cheats, they've been cheating for years and I just lost it and it was amazing that we won, but instead of celebrating, I just ran over to their bench and all the staff and all the management, all that lot and just dropping the C-bomb everywhere, all that was just spraying them and then lost the plot and stormed off in my kit, in my boots, in the crowd and got in my truck and drove home. And just, I don't know what was going on. Just completely lost the plot. And then next minute I'm home and I'm like plot in the next minute moment. I'm like, what the fuck? How did I get here? What's happened is there have been a fair few red red miss moment.

So you just kind of have this red miss blackout. I think my wife's been such a calming influence and my kids, they have been a calming influence or more of an influence of like thinking more before doing. Yeah. Resisting the urge to fucking just go with how you feel and actually thinking about stuff. I remember watching your documentary that was released like mental health week and like your sort of struggles with your mental health. Since you've sort of been more open about that. And I imagine I don't know if you have done any therapy or coping strategies. Now you've been more open about it and you're aware of

how your mind processes stuff. Are you more in control and more in the moment and can control your feelings and stuff, rather than bottling it up, pushing it down and then exploding? Is that sort of, there's photos of you, like you look unrecognizable in your eyes. The eyes are quite a good indicator to what's going on. And some of the photos of you when you're younger in your career, you look like a different person. Obviously you're a bit younger, but actually you look younger, brighter eyed and more in control and in the real world where some of these photos of you playing with young age like this sort of crazy guy that's a different person to the one that's

out here now. Yeah, I don't think I knew because I didn't know what was going on. I just sort of, I don't know, I just didn't have any answers to any of it. And then when it had crept into home life, as opposed to the rugby thing, I just always assumed it was rugby pressures, or that side of it, that persona, all that lot. But then when it started creeping into home life, it was like, what the fuck is going on? I've got to do something about this. Otherwise, I'm going to lose everything that I do love and value. So

how was that manifested at home? When you said like, would a little thing set you off, and you'd be frustrated and think that I do love and value. So how was that manifested at home when you said like, would a little thing set you off and you'd be frustrated and the smallest of things would set me off. I was becoming more distant, like not present at home. I was there physically, but just within myself, I was having all sorts going on. I didn't have any answers to it. And then it came to a head when I completely trashed the house and my wife was, it's, it's still hard to speak about now because it's so full of shame.

I just ran out on her basically. And that was like my lowest point. And it was like, fucking hell what's going on. I need help. It was that moment. I need help. I need to go get it. And then I went and got help and started therapy and I've been doing therapy on and off since then

and exploring it and getting more answers to things. And, you know, I don't want to delve into it all now because it's a fucking lighthearted funny thing at the same time. Yeah. I really enjoy this free therapy session from you boys. Do you mind if I just lie down and like, there's a chaise lounge here and whatever you need, Joe, whatever you need. Thanks. So yeah, now I feel like I can recognize things that are going to trigger me. Now I feel I'm aware of things in the future that I know that I'm going to struggle in that part. So I'm going to need a little bit of break or a bit, you know, stuff like that and coping with it. And yeah, I just feel much happier and I'm so much happier because I'm at home. I'm actually experiencing these things with the kids as

opposed to just being there. I'm actually driving more with it all and loving it and actually engage with it. Also. Yeah. I feel a lot more in control of those things. That's why, when it comes back to the rugby side of it, I'll still have an occasional flare up because it's a contact sport and that's what I love about it. You have to have the physical alpha mindset of going after each other, but it

needs to be that level of not going too far. And then I've also got that in the back of my head of if my kids do bother to turn the TV on, they might watch this and I don't want to be setting a really bad example. I still want to have the ability to go home and go Jasper, you can't turn around and punch someone at school because you didn't get what you wanted or whatever. And then him to turn around and go, I saw you turn around and punch someone yesterday on the pitch.

So yeah, fuck off basically. It was, I say, not as I do, son. All right, let's go down that route. So yeah, that's where it's at. And I think it's also because I'm coming to the end of rugby. I'm like, stop being a twat. You've learned some valuable lessons through the therapy that I'd say. So I'd say it's going really well.

So far, it always starts with, Hi Joe, how much of a twat have you been this week? And he's like, cool, let's delve into it. Let's work out why. I'd say that I think a lot of people, especially I think for men, when you are sort of out working and you're a bit more away from it and you basically have to go into work mode and then come back into being a parent. That's the point that's the biggest stress. That's where I found it really difficult. I had a breakdown and I had to do therapy when I had two kids, but one was very young. But like you say, you had a baby and then another one on the way and you're like 25, 26 in the middle of a really insane, intense, physical and aggressive spall. So I think that's

when a lot of people, it becomes too much. I watched that documentary and it really helped me and it made me recognize that in myself. So I think, you know, we're having a, it's a lot higher podcast, but it does make a massive impact. You talking about that kind of stuff. I think it's really important. What would you say to people that feel they're in the same position? That's always the toughest question because you go, no one's ever in the same circumstance. I like that everyone's always different and so many different things don't work for people and so many different things do work for people.

That's why I struggled to actually answer that Josh. So you've put me right on the spot. You fuck. Yeah. Everyone's yeah. Exactly. I think it's such shit advice being able to talk, like open up and talk to

me and you go, if you say, just talk to someone, if you're feeling shit, if you're feeling, you know, if you're struggling, if you stress or whatever, just talk, that's the whole point of having a network around you find someone to talk to, to open up to. But that's always the hardest thing. I found it so hard because I was like, I don't want to open up this can of worms to my wife. She's got enough on her plate as it is. I don't want to burden her with any issues I've got. She's got enough going on as it is. I don't want to then burden my mates because they've gone out partying all the time and they don't want me to

take my kids out all the time with them and fuck up their nights. Plus lumping a load of issues. And also the fact in my position where it was like, what the fuck could you have going wrong, mate? You know, you play a fucking sport for a living, you get paid to do a hobby. So it's hard to say, just talk open up. But I can only just say that when I did hit rock bottom, then going to see someone actually talking about the issues that was going on with me. Fucking hell made a huge difference.

And then made me also realize what's the point in having all these people around you, your wife, your friends, your family that love you and you love back. Like if it was reversed and they were going through something you'd want them to talk to you, open up and think, cause that's the point of being together. That's the point of that. We help each other through this. And so yeah, talking for me and meeting other people is like, made a point of being together. That's the point of that we help each other through this. And so yeah, talking for me and meeting other people is like made a huge difference. But for me, I found like, whoever I told I struggled with everyone was supportive and not

one person said, Oh, shut up. Do you mean it was like, Oh, I'm sorry to hear you feel like that. I'll explain what I'm doing. Oh, that's really good thing to do. And it was more just like, so nothing key. But I thought it was going to be like, Oh, leave it out. You're moaning. You also then find out the people that actually care. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it's quite a good way to sort of whittle down, whittle them down. And now I've got a wife and one friend. It went really well for me. I could go back to slightly less intense chat and stuff. Did you get a long time off over the summer? I know you was injured, but with rugby, like, cause you are away a lot in the

summer, do you have that time off? And then is your wife a bit more like, right, you're in charge now, Joe, you've been away on tour with England or whatever now. So how was the summer? Was it full on? No, it was great. I, uh, broke my foot away on tour for England in the first test against New Zealand. And then if you're not fit to play, you usually flown home and you get someone else in.

That's what happens. And then cause I'm old and the boys in my position were young, the head coach was like, Oh, do you think you could stay around for the last week? Like you were going to be away anyway, but could you stay around for the last week and help out the young boys with bits and bobs? And I was like, yeah, as long as it's all right with Daisy and thinking, I was like, well, can you ring her? Can you?

Oh, you're injured. Brilliant. You're coming out. Is there any way of putting an announcement on Monday saying that it's not a broken foot? So I said, don't worry, I'll speak to her. And I rang her and said, Dave, Steve's asked me to stay out. Obviously I've already been away for five weeks and you've had the kids on your own. And then thinking, and she was like, yeah, no, I want you to stay out.

So I stayed out there and then got home and then it was because of the injury. It means I actually had the whole summer off for the first time in a long time to spend with the kids and we properly went for it. Although the physios and the club were a little bit like, right, you broke your foot. You need to be off feet for the next four weeks. I went, what do you mean off feet? They were like, well, you need to just sit and wait for the bone to heal for the first four weeks. And I went, there's no fucking chance that's going to happen. Like if you think it was a bad idea, me asking my wife to stay out in

New Zealand for an extra week, even though I can't do my job, but now you want me to say, when I do come back, I'm sitting on my ass for four weeks. And that's it. I said, now you need to call her. Now you need to tell her if you went and they were like, actually we won't bother. Just try your artist. And I went, it's also festival season. And they're like, what do you know? I've got loads of

festivals to go to. Right. So fuck off. I'm not complying to the non weight bearing. So yeah, we did a couple of festivals. Do you take the kids? Have you not done a festival yet? Not with the kids. Oh lads. Oh fuck me dead. You've got to get down to camp best ofival. Really? Oh my God. It's like we've done it last three years now and it is fucking brilliant because everyone's in the same boat. Are you one of those couples that have got four kids so what

they do is just go somewhere there's loads of kids and adults and then go, I'm sure someone's watching them. Do you want a beer? Because that's what happens. You get to four kids, you tap out and keep your eyes on them. If you keep a beer? Because that's what happens. You get to four kids, you tap out and keep your eyes on them. If you keep having it, they look after each other. Do you know what I mean? Just fuck them off. Where are they? Oh, they'll come back. It's fine. No, I mean, it's unreal. It's like family orientated, but not so like you can do all sorts. It's good for the adults to think, but everyone sort of- I've got loads of kids stuff there. Mr. Tumble, Hacker T, Vicka Dom.

I mean, we don't really go for Mr. Tumble, no. Right, OK, so you're not taking them there. You took them to just the gigs. Mate, Camp Best of all is great. Did you do a gig there? Because you're on the listings there. So did you do your podcast or was it an interview type thing? Rob De Bank, the DJ, it's his festival.

And I just did a chat with him. Oh, you interviewed on there. Talked bollocks, but we're open to take the podcast there next year. Was it like bedtime wise there? Like, you interviewed on there. Talk bollocks, but we're open to take the podcast there next year. What's it like bedtime wise there? Like you're camping, how do you get the kids to go to sleep in that situation? I guess the approach we took, it was more sweet induced where you just go fucking hell, have a load of sugar and then you know that they'll crash.

Mate, it's freedom out of the routine of the weekly stuff. And they love it and they soon get knackered dancing around all the place and. Yeah. Yeah. And they love it. And they soon get knackered dancing around all the place and then you get to midnight and then everyone crashes. It's fucking great. I cannot recommend you put your own nice 10 6 and 3 perfect. Six and a perfect six and a even more perfect. Oh, they also do like a boutique camping as well because I can't put a tent up. Did you put the tent up or did you get nice camping? Rob the bank sort of set up with some of the boutique things. So it was all set up, but you still take some of your camping gear.

I could only go if it was set up. I couldn't put a tent up with two kids. I hate it. Why? I don't have to build an house for a night off. My night off work, I don't have to build an house. Get them to do it. Just say you do it.

I'm not saying. I'll do it. Oh, you just get so pissed that you don't care where you sleep. So if they've built it shit, you just sleep on top of it. Fair enough. So you're going to take the Jo Malas things people do? You're going to take that there next year, did you say? Yeah, that's what we're hoping to do.

It's just a lovely little gig, mate. And we also then get to meet, the whole point of the pod is to meet random people that do random stuff and just Just talked shit about it basically and you have a mixture sort of like you had rag and bow man on but then you just get Like random like head teachers do they have head teachers on? Yeah, we tend to try and go with more like a drainage engineer supposed to Like the big stars that have done the fucking circuit ten hundred times. Do you know?

I mean, yeah, well, Steve the drainage engineer has never done a podcast before. So let's see how that one goes. Some of the shit and the stories that come out of people, people always cross your mind. You're like, well, what the fuck is a drainage engineer? What actually does a surveyor do? Like I'm like, what is that? And people go, well, that's not interesting. Is it? I went, well, fucking ask him some questions. And I bet you people are interested. Give him a chance. All right. I already know what Robbie Williams does. Like, why do I need to be Williams? I know what he does. I know sort of how he does it. Like, let's just talk to like the normal people. Your episode, Charles, is mental. Once groundskeeper sumo wrest in prisons you'll never eat travel

lodge eggs again. In fact groundskeeper was really good he was really good. Terry the groundskeeper. So what would you say to get a taste of the podcast what would you recommend they listen to? Groundskeeper? I highly recommend either Darren the marine biologist. The filming elephants guy. Well, no, because that's not fucking Marine, is it? Well, it depends if they're in the water or not. He's a niche elephant Marine biologist. Yeah, like the bin lorry guy, the librarian, the state agent.

Or the chimney sweep. Chimney sweep? You've got to go listen to Josh, the chimney sweep. Josh, you've got to go listen to Josh. The chimney sweep, mate. He was fucking unbelievable. I know people. Well, I did, but Josh, we found on the chimney sweep association group on Facebook. Amazing.

So you think of a job and then you find the person. What have we got lined up here? I see. I asked for these, but they never fuck. I don't know. I've got loads of mates that are proper funny and live a mad life and do a mad job but they're like sort of running a logistics company which you wouldn't automatically assume. Exactly. You tell me Rob, what's a logistics company? He basically has loads of warehouses where he stores stock and then makes them get on lorries and sends them around the world. Yeah I want to to know what stock I don't know. Exactly.

I thought you was accusing me of not doing my research. Oh, no, no, no. I was saying this is why I listened to the podcast. I was once at a wedding and I was sat next to someone who worked for Tea Pigs. You know, the tea company tea. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And I'm really grilling her over how they do it, what their rivals are. And after

while she said, sorry, you being sarcastic? Because I'm so interested in her job. At what point did she say, fuck off, I'm trying to enjoy the wedding? Well, we were just sat next to each other. And you're like, for the whole meal. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, I'm interested in her job. I'll talk to her about that. You've already told her what Jimmy Carr's really like. Obviously, part of it is trying to distract from having to talk about my job. I'll talk to her about that. You've already told her what Jimmy Carr's really like. Obviously part of it is trying to distract from having to talk about my job.

When I was younger with no mates, sometimes I used to go to like Clapham Junction, the train station. When you go on holiday and you're in the airport, you're looking at people, you look at couples. Don't try and make it cooler. You're a teenage, you're alone at Clapham Junction. Fair enough.

Busiest train station in Europe. Where else would you go? So I'm sitting there eating my pasty or something and then I'll just like, what's their story? And then you dream up, oh my God, I bet they're having an affair. I bet they're going to the Premier Inn down the road and they look like they're about to fucking do the day. Or then you just got this random guy on his own. You go, what's his story?

And then I'd always be either dreaming up the story or trying to muster up the courage to actually go and talk to some because we never talk to each other anymore. I'd never see randomly talking on a bus or randomly to be all those low low men at train stations eating pasties staring at people putting you off having a chat with a beard at 13. I used to do is she asked the questions now of these random people doing their random job. I used to do is she asked the questions now of these random people doing their random job. I do that but I didn't invent it. It would always be end up being really bleak and

then I'd feel like I'd have to go in and look after them but even though I've made all of this like if I saw an old man come out of shop but he's going home alone he's probably not met anyone for a week and he's got this big smelly house he's too old to clean and I've just made it all up. I'd get sad doing that. Yeah, fair enough. If you were gonna do it, you put a limit on it. You go, Ella mate, you're right. I'd just like to chat to you, but it's a 20 minute like limit and then I'm gone. There's no aftercare. No, but this isn't what he's told me. This is what I've invented. So I'm saying, it's not like he's told me it's an odd inventory. I need to go up to

him and go, can you just tell me you're not completely alone? Yeah. So I can just forget about it and move on. Can you stop? That's going to put a real, uh, spring in his step, isn't it? Yeah. So someone's like, I'm really bleak out by you. Please tell me your life's not as bleak as it looks from the outside. And then the moment he says, actually it is as bleak as it looks. You then go, right, I'm off.

Cheers. Yeah. Thanks mate. See you later. Off you go. Right. You really doubled down on that blokes day cheers thank you as well as a camp festival and festivals did you go on holiday

taking four kids no you don't go on holiday no I do go on holiday but we didn't go on holiday this summer because the last summer was fucking mental we went to Greece for a week and you don't think about these when you, well, you definitely don't think about the logistics when you're shagging, do you? But you know, that's, that's how I, that's how I get turned on actually. Yeah. All right. Okay. Well, we need to talk to your podcast manager.

Yeah. Yeah. Really help you. And then you don't think about, Oh, I need a new car. Cause when I was younger, I was a family of five, not five, there were all five, but we're all like, you know, like big, like we weren't like a big backs. There we go. Yeah. So we'd struggled to fit in the Clio or whatever, or a mate or whatever. We'd just put one of us in the boot or in the foot well, but like, there's no doing that these days. Even me mentioning that

to Daisy, like, just shove him in between your legs down there. Like even me mentioning that to Daisy, like just shove him in between your legs down there. Like my dad used to build a seat in the boot of a state car with suitcases and we'd sit on the suitcase facing out the window on the motorway. Yeah. So then he still had the ability to buy a reasonably priced car rather than getting a fucking seven seater or something bigger and then you don't think so you've got to buy that and then you go, Oh fuck, what about holidays? And you go, well, the options are you even

have to buy the fucking top end suite that fits everyone in that costs you an arm and a leg, or you have to buy two so you can fit it and then try and get them together. And that's still cost you arm and leg. And then we went to Greece. I said, look, we'd buy two rooms for the thing. We've got four kids, et cetera. They're like, they've got to be next to each other because they're quite young kids and it would just be fucking carnage or this lot. And it was opposite ends of the hotel when we arrived. I'm then too polite to actually kick up a fuss because I'm like, oh, well, we're in now. I just want to relax. And then it's just fucking batshit crazy. And this year we decided, no, let's just drive four and a half hours

to Norfolk because that'll be fun. And yeah, we just kept more staycation this year. We loved it. Norfolk was gorgeous. So it's expensive for the flights. You've got to get six flights. How can you justify? But like, she's not even as big as my leg and I've got to pay for a seat that's the same thing, right? And she's not going to sit in it. So what's the point? Can you maybe just give us a ticket that's like a quarter of the price, but you also tell all the other passengers who look at you like, and frown at you.

If your baby's crying or whatever on the plane, they're like, I feel like you sat in the middle of your big back, your elbow, getting hit by the drinks trolley every two minutes. We actually had that on the last holiday we went to. We went to Dubai and I booked the ticket so we're all together and we get on the plane. There's this tall chap in there, doesn't speak a word of English, so I'm going to really struggle here. Hello, mate.

I think you're sitting in my kid's seat because we're all together. And he was like, no, this is my seat. I've paid extra for it. I was like, you know, I get that, but that's the same seat as what's over there in 36 J. So like, do you mind just swapping with the thing? And he just flat out refused. So then we were like, this is a big moment. We chose the 10 year old to go and sit off on his own because the others would have just

gone mental on that flight. How did he do? He absolutely loved it. We checked on him occasionally, but at the end of the flight, I was like, well done, mate, we're really proud of you. Like that was big and it's good to actually let your kids do it. Cause I don't know if you guys are thinking about this, it's probably not you, Josh, or they're still a bit young, but you've got to start thinking

about when do you start giving them a little bit more rope to go and do stuff. So my eight year old, she's nine in a couple of months. Yeah. She's like, can I go to toilet? So if we're in a restaurant, if she's with another girl, who's like eight or nine, we're like, yeah, you two can go together alone without us. And you're just sat the whole time going, oh my God, you can't take them to the toilet when they're 15, that you've got to at some point go, we're starting to

do that now with like the eight year old, but it is like, oh my God, but it's just a hard balance, but then especially when you've got four, you have to, like you've got to do that. We can the eight year old, but it is, oh my God, but it's just a hard balance. But then especially with when you've got four, you have to, it's like, you've got to do that. We can't send a three year old. Oh mate, like some of the stuff I've been away and my missus decided to take them out for the day or whatever they're bored. I'm taking them out and then I'll get a video and the video is all of them. One's planted the hairdryer, one's planted the sink.

And I'm like, I'm thinking what she was like, I was desperate for a shit. And none of them like would stay at the table. So they all came with me in the disabled baby change toilet. And then they're all in there like, Oh my God, this stinks. Yes. Daisy sitting there like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Like I can't even have a shit in peace. Happened to me the other day, we were swimming with the girls, it's a male changer room.

So I was like, I thought you're just waiting outside. I went come in. And then when it's tiny little cubicle in the disabled toilet, and I'm just churning out a horrific dad shit. And they're like, and they're not like going, er, stinky poop. They're like, dad, that is what's happening? What is going on? Why is it so bad? I'm like, it's just, I had a couple of beers. I'm like, ooh, ooh. And then you're like, I feel like I'm scarring the kids more. It's worse in here than out there.

You just go back with, oh, you think your shit don't stink? All right, some of the stuff that I've cleared up out of you lot. Let's be honest. Get kids poo dusting. But me and you, and like Josh doesn't drink now, but I'm sure me and you have had similar nights. We have quite a few pints and maybe a curry and the next day it's a different level, isn't it? Oh, it doesn't even have to be a night out. I regularly shit three times before 9am and

they're all horrific. So don't have to be a night out, but you're right. What about other kids poos? If you've got mates or whatever mates or whatever, like shit, you're like, no way. Am I helping you tidy that up or whatever? I can't handle it. My kids poos. They're offering. Oh, you do that one instead. And you're like, well, no, I've fucking done my days with nappies mate.

You do this. This is your fifth. No, because then I'm not gonna have my fish Josh we didn't finish out there because I'm booked in for a sect to me oh when you're yeah well it's meant to be next Monday but the best really don't apply rugby again do you well that's it the club are now like don't think you should have a vasectomy when you're trying to rehab and all that like you've had eight weeks off on the piss at camp festival. Maybe that was a really inconvenient time.

Whereas now, right now that I'm in my job work, I'm whispering because they're next door and they're like, fucking out. Probably. I was like, yeah, but it's a medical need. They're like, it's not a fucking urgent medical need. Is it just stop having sex with your wife? I went, wrap it up and slap it up. Well, that's not the issue, mate. The sex fucking doesn't happen anyway. I just want the safety.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Just in case. But the going for the consultation for that was a real eye opener because no, I got there. And he went, are you sure you want to present to me? I went, yeah, like Mrs. One and more kids. And yeah, I think she's the one who was like, how long you been together? I was like nearly 10 years. He said, yeah, I think she's probably the one then I was like, cool. Um, he said, right, drop your trousers and get on the bed. I went, are you doing it now? No, no, I need to check it all out.

I went, all right. Good job. I had a shower and stuff. Here we go. And then he's, you know, fiddling around with it and thinking you're immediately in your head. You're like, just don't get excited. And then he was describing it to me and about the burning of the flesh and it does have

a particular smell. And I'm like, what the fuck, mate? You're meant to be convinced me to get it done, not have it not done. I said, can I be put to sleep for it? And he said, well, you can, but I wouldn't advise it you like you're fine to do it under local. I was like, Yeah, but I don't like the idea of that smelling or whatever. He said, Well, you can, it, it'll be an extra two grand. I went fuck off.

Really? Fuck it. Oh, you can do it now if you want, mate, with no money. Like just get rid of it. Hold your nose. Just hold your nose. Two grand extra just to have your knob cut open. There's fresh burnings. I had a weird thing that had to be cut off my finger and they basically burn it.

They inject it so you can't feel it. You need to ejaculate out your fingers. Spider-Man. But they burn it. They burn it once they've cut it out and the smell is alright. It's fine. You'll be alright, mate. Try and forget this, your dick looks burning. We've got one last question. like burnish like once they've cut it out and the smell is all right, it's fine. It's you'll be all right, mate.

Like try and forget this your dick that's burning. We've got one last question. It's about Daisy. We ask everyone what's the one thing she does. It's not always about Daisy. Well, not about Daisy, but people's partners. Yeah. Every week. It's got a week quite niche.

No, it is about people's partners. What's the one thing she does that's amazing and you're so happy and lucky to have children with her and then is there one thing she does that's amazing, and you're so happy and lucky to have children with her? And then is there one thing she does that frustrates you a little bit, but considering how much time you stay away from home, you don't have to answer that one. Let's start with the negative and then we can finish on the positive. Yeah, good. The negative and it's quite fresh in my mind at the minute. So I'm a bit of a night owl. So I like to relax and watch TV in bed. Yeah, I think where she's like, I'm shattered because I've actually been doing stuff all day and

you've just been doing fuck. Oh, that's fine. And then she'd always be like, Oh, can you turn the TV? Because funny enough, I'm really got great hearing with these like luggles. Oh, wow. Yeah. But I really shut up. Yeah.

Yeah. She'd like, Oh, can you turn the TV down? I'm like, yeah. Okay, cool. Only for her to then fall asleep in my arms, you know, loving cuddle and all that lot. Only fall asleep in my arms. Whilst I'm trying to watch TV that she's told me to turn down

and I'm not allowed to turn it up in case it wakes the kids up or the fucking dogs. I'm assuming it was snoring, Joe, was it? Fucking snoring, mate. It's fucking snoring. I'm like, what is going on here? And you're dribbling all over my arm. As a friend, I'd guide you towards deposit

if as quick as you can. Okay, fine. Just to save yourself. Aside from everything she does with bringing the kids up, and we touched on it earlier with, she was born to be a mum, like just got so much love to give. I don't know how big her fucking heart is

because she just loves everything and everyone and she's got so much love to give, even to the point of now she's convinced rather than having another kid. We've just got a puppy. Actually. That was the, that was the deal. We're up to three dogs and I'm like, okay, you fucked off. It's four kids and three dogs.

I'm like, oh Jesus Christ. Back to positive. Yeah. She's a much love give and she's helped me through so much and realize the calming nature and actually the loving nature. And that's what a wishy washy answer to actually get. I just love a mate. I couldn't do any of it without, you know, we've both created and both got an input

into it. Of course we have, but like you said, I've been away a lot these last 10 years. And a lot of it has been down to her and she's never fucking moaned, never been an issue about always been supportive and encouraging of my selfish career aspirations of like, I know what we're getting into. I'm up for this. Let's go and love it. And I couldn't have done any of it without her. So she's fucking brilliant. Now she sounds incredible. And especially, you know, as you spoke before, quite openly about, you know, when you hit that rock bottom

and she was there for you and what she's done for you. And like, if you just Google photos of Joe Marla, there's two different people there. The way you are now, you're so happy and, you know, and seeming such a great place. And it's really inspiring, I think, Joe. So don't forget that. Lads, I've really fucking loved talking to you guys.

Oh, it's been great. I love listening to your podcast and you two are fucking brilliant. Cheers, Joe. Thanks. All the best. Cheers, boys. Bye. I love Joe Marlon. What a great guy. And that is a great idea for a podcast.

What a lovely bloke. He's absolutely he's funnier than a comedian, Rob. There's a lot of comedians out there, Robin and Livin. He's super funny, a comedian Rob. There's a lot of comedians out there, Robin and Livin. He's super funny, but his documentary's amazing. It was filmed a few years ago on Sky Sports. Is that on what iPlayer? It was on Sky Sports, I don't know where it is at the moment.

I'm sure you can find it maybe on YouTube, but it was released by Mental Health Awareness Week about his journey with getting therapy and stuff. But yeah, it was brilliant. So Joe Marla, give his podcast a listen. Things people do, not Josh. Things people do. Things people do. Things people do.

Um, Josh, I'll see you next time. See you. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's a show that asks guests the big question quite literally. What did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it Max I'm still not sure where do we put the stress? Is it? What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.