Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 12 Point Helvetica

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

The Regs are here. Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, and Bobby discover who's the best actor in the room, and go over the guest list drama from Joe's latest special taping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma Network, riotcast.com. We're back. You know what another new intro I don't want to change There's the truck All the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps, all the Trumps That's how the host does you motherfucker. This is OP. I do some things. That was what he said on my on your Inter that I also remember I mean he's Schumer and came is now. That was in there.

She said this cocksucker has not put me in one intro of his show. I'm going to fuck up. You're in this one. You're in this one. You're in this one. I know you guys were yelling. You're in this one too. He's the only one that's not in this one. Why am I not in this one?

Because you never know the show. I can't, I reach out to her on the car. Well, you're in it now. Let's be sure everyone knows that Soda just blanked on her name. Gabby and I have been married for three years. No one knows. You should know that I regularly masturbate with her underwear in my mouth I know and we masturbate to you. We watch videos of you and that's how she climaxes Gabby. Yeah, I mean to be an asshole here

Okay Please get me a fucking sweetener from my latte. Oh That could have been way worse. Can I get another tea to you want to do? Yeah T2 judgment I spent spent. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. All are be Bob March March for 2020 Bobby spills his T five, five million people die. Welcome to YKWD with the regs.

You don't like the new intro. I mean, you're in it. Thanks. I'll not. I'll give me I'll bring Deroz a back for to have the old intro. So you don't want this new one. Nope. I like the new one I didn't hear it because those guys were yelling, but am I in it? What do I say? Do I say something fun? Yeah, you say something like I'm the truth I never said that. No, you go like this you go. Yeah, Bernie's the winner. What? Lose and I'm just you just excluded me because you just want me to hurt no you weren't here. I

you just excluded me because you just want me to hurt? No, you weren't here. I hurt myself today. The great version. When I heard the new intro, Bobby left me out, and now I am so sad. But you can't go further, that's all you got. What have I become? A serious XM DJ. My sweetest dude. Who's successful for this program everyone I know

asks for money in what have I become too good for podcasts for a busy schedule maybe you've never watched Showtime. I'm on to page handle. I still live in the apartment that I could have bought nine years ago. Yeah, I live with Vecchio. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, it's just to, it's just to be nice to Vecchio. We really should undan. It's because Dan's a good person. Yeah, but what? Neil Brennan does the Vecchio to us. So you're just like now you guys choose to live together. And I was like, weird.

I don't know. It's weird. The sex is outstanding. Yeah, is it good? I can't leave my Italian meatballs. He locks his shoulders. Like a pickle. I don't have that bad pose.

You pretend you're that the the girl around the girl on billions. Yeah, we should go around our go around in a circle and do the sound We think we would make marketing but fucked if we were getting I know it'd be mine. Well it'd be yours Oh I think I have mine somewhere Be yours And then I go and then oh

And then they'd be this little to and out and then I go and then and then they'll be this little to I go I go in you see my would be all Louis I like that kiss my neck with my neck can I just jerk off in front of you and I'm like just come on just let me finish it for any I like to finish in you I like context I don't like just come on. Just let me finish it. I don't like finishing you. I like context. I don't want to finish you. You taping tonight? What you tap in this week at the seller tonight. Why do you want to know that? He's right. You're out for it. I can tell also you came in with some fresh rebox. Yeah. You got your skins all puffed up.

There's some smoothed out. What do you mean by skins puffed up? I'm at the day buffed buffed. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're you're I just say buffed buffed. Yeah, you're you're you're you're you look like normal. It's it's his buffed. He has been a problem. It's but Joe doesn't have to compliment people Joe just trying to say you look good. Thank you. But in said he has to break you down and say, oh, you must be doing television because

you wouldn't normally look good. Thank you. Lewis. That's exactly right. Yeah. I think I think you look like a cab driver on the up and up. You look like you bought your medallion. Yeah.

Yeah. You look like a cab driver fromallion. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a cab driver from the good old days. Yeah. You remember what I mean? Things were good. You mean Trump days. Yeah. We're going to cab driver that would never pick up black people. Yeah. You also look like you call other cab driver that didn't have to. Yeah. You also look like a cab driver that calls other cab drivers first generation drivers. That's like the way you get racist. You got two menza. Yeah. We haven't fun. I think you fucking you out. We were having fun. We tried. I'm all proud. What's like the way you get racist. You got two men, sir. Yeah, we haven't fun. And then you fuck you out. We were having fun.

We tried. I was the all proud. What's going on? I go guys. Yeah. Hey, hoodie guys. But you're in it fellows. But you are taping tonight. What?

You are taping. Why are you saying? Don't avoid the question. I just want you to admit that that's why you addressed it. You're best shirt. It's not my best shirt. It is. We've definitely seen that.

He keeps on mirroring you. This is a technique. I've been reading a book specifically on negotiating. I hate CEO Lewis. Where he goes, I actually have this new book on tape, where I imagine my power and then it comes to me. He's my fruition. There's no Bobby's doing it because he's been repeating the question back to you.

It's called mirroring. It's a get you. It's a get you to break. He's trying to break you because he's not willing to break We leave Joe list goes I gave him a thousand dollars. How did that? Joe is keeps nagging me because he wants me to like because he wants to get the Fuzz. Yeah, he keeps nagging me. So what did you say? Nugging Joe? Why are you nagging Bob? Why my neck? A real neger. Oh Why my neck a real nigger oh?

Naisy we're saying that you think you say you're dirty nigger you have an actual career Mally ashy nigger what that's what he said you guys ever do you remember that South Park where they did the real a fortune Yeah, and he goes this is a group of people that bother you guys people that annoy you The best is Randy's face. I said, I don't know, I shoulda say. And then he goes, he goes, Niggers. And then he bites his bottom, let me go. Everyone's quiet. And then a white just walks over to the SDA. It's Nagers.

Oh, dude, it's one of my self-portrait scenes of all time. Jesus Christ. the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the We all thank you buddy. Oh, these lids don't really stay on to it. Kathy Reggio, kind of a fucking losing their touch. Yeah, they're losing their touch. You'll get the tuna sandwich there. That was a good tuna sandwich with potato salad. It's off the fucking chart.

It's toasted bread. I love Bobby. We'll be fat again in them. I mean, we can't even, though what you need to describe it. What I can't say, which is like a sandwich. What is the best sandwich I've ever had in my life? What do you mean?

It's in the airport, it's in that plastic things. With the slide on it, you pull it back. A blimpies and Winnipeg can at a best sandwich in the world. I really love blimpies. Is blimpies still around? Fuck, blimpies. Jimmy Jones. Jimmy Jones sucks.

No, no five. Compared to blimpies. Number five, Jimmy Jones. Blimpies, I enjoyed the blimpies tuna in a very, very big way. You guys ever hear a subway? They're bad. Dude, subway stinks. What? The guy that spokesman raped children.

You know, you know the guy that's like, there's a subway in my town and there was an Indian family that bought it and they stopped paying the money and they just painted over the subway part, but they kept, they kept the colors on the awning and inside, and they just wrote sub sandwiches. Sub sandwiches? Where it said, sand subway. So you drive by, you think it's a subway?

I was in there halfway through, I looked at the ham, I was like, is that rainbow ham? Like, and I looked up, I go, what is this? It's sandwiches. You got duped, they duped your dumb ass. They fucking got me. You guys, this subway goes, if you wanted to be. It's sandwiches. You want sandwiches? It's better to get king, shop right, whatever you like. It's fucking got me. You guys, this subway goes, if you wanted to be. It's sandwiches.

You want sandwiches? It's better to get in, shop right, whatever you like. My friend, my friend. A battle sandwich. We have, is it basketball robins? It's Robin Robbins. You know what?

What? What's Robin Robbins? We have 32 flavors. One of them is shame. We're not becoming a doctor, like your family wanted you to be. The ham was just like an inch thick. Like you cut it with a steak knife. Dude, you got that fucking foreskin there.

It was bad. Be careful, Bob. Why? That's too hot. I'm a man. You're lips in your best part of your body. Yeah, they really are. You're lips.

You know, I think if somebody was taking a fucking a chainsaw to your arm, what are you doing? No, that's your best part. Don't fuck up your lips, man. I thought somebody was pointing lava down, dance throat. Imagine that. No. That was the best part of you. You just fixed his voice.

I go, hey guys. Hey, it's me, regular voice, Dan. What's going on? Did you get a clear as a throat? I go, ow. Hey, everybody. Wow. Oh, wow. I don't need the effects of your strangers.

I'm off to live in Denver. Bye, everyone. You move back to Denver. No, I moved, uh, I don't know, Western mass, maybe just get a cabin. Really? Birkshires. Living the woods, dude. Who lives up on the, how do you know about the birch?

You don't know me. You don't know what my past is what the fuck is you don't know the Burn identity book girls family lives in the birchers max and there you go I was like, oh, it's pretty nice. I like it out here. I always wanted to try oxy cotton. Yeah, do you know the Smash nut pills you never try oxy cotton dude if I did opiates You'd I'd just be under the George Washington bridge right now sir What would you be doing under there opiates? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I think we did hear it, but comedy. Who's up, and Dana? It's right. How about Ron?

How about Ron and. Oh, don't throw a wet. Get about it. It's kind of nice actually. Look at how let. That's it. It's like a shit spit on there. Are you guys, is it me or is there, is it me or is there more Asian people on the streets

than usual? Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Finally, we get to the issue I've been waiting for for years on the fuck. I slept in a girls house in Chinatown the other day and I walked out and I was like, I held my breath for five bucks. Dude, I had, I fucking literally went, I had to plug my shirt over my face.

They, I wouldn't breathe or make eye contact with anybody. They give you an Uber home when you do the comedy seller table thing, cause you went late to work. You're doing it tonight, right? What? I like it. I like it. What do you mean?

I gotta do the podcast. What am I doing? You're doing the podcast. I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the,

I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing the, I'm doing Yeah, you bring it back. Newsy's the musical. I got papers for sale. I got papers for sale.

Dude, I love papers for sale. You know, the newspaper business is almost almost completely dead. I tell them say, you're pretty journalist. It's done, dude. I'm actually playing the corner man for Ray Lewis play. Oh, that's Ray Lewis. Come on, Ray, you can do it. The Ray Lewis play. Oh, so. The guy that on, Ray. You can do it. The Ray Lewis play. Oh, sorry

The guy that the linebacker that stabbed two men before the terrible. No, I was thinking of the boxers. They're black Joe Lewis. Joe. Sorry. Yeah, sometimes they get They gave a they gave they said you home in a lift after the comedy seller thing and the driver was like Foreign I don't know what kind of foreign one I couldn't put my thumb on but all the same He's like oh, I'm just coughing The whole drive homemade the window crack nose breathing Oh god, don't fucking die because I did fucking the table with a comedy-seller show on the fucking It's like a James Bond movie. Yeah, I got nothing today. Hi, he's two in a row. You do a drop-tap

You know, right you look good. They sent they sent you a lift. This is Bobbie a fork lift. I thought you weren't be still got it. He still got it. He still got it. I did Lewis. Would you pick a nose? Yeah, dude coronavirus ain't up there, dog. I mean, I really see a lot of It's like is it like when you're trying to buy a car and all of a sudden you never see Toyota Corolls but now you see a ton of them.

Love a Corolla, more of a Nissan Altima. But you know what I'm saying? That thing where you never saw it before, now you see it because you want one now. Now I'm looking out and there's a bunch of Asian people that were mass-catch-ish. I'll hold them Toyota's with this toy. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey guys, they had a couple Hondas and Toyota's on my subway. He's coming to have some fresh air wash, and I got a nice Hyundai, you brush and Toyota's on my subway I got a nice Hyundai you brush up against me on the subway At a miss obishi I Find it problematic that you find Asian people invisible unless they pose a problem to you That's not true Yeah, what yes queen when I'm hungry. I fucking see a ton of them too Yeah, and then you eat and then you see him again

It doesn't stay never later. Hey Back we're back we're back. So does our whole bag. Um, yeah, I just I I you afraid of getting this thing Joe There's no you don't give a shit because you have a little OCD. I'm not yellow. He's got herpes Would you rather herpes are coronavirus? Corona Corona Corona come out of that. I'd rather Corona. Corona. Corona. I'll come out of that. I'll come out of the other end.

36. It's really killing you. Junk at Herpes while he was drinking Corona. Yeah. It's probably cause of Corona. That's why I bang that chicken the fuck in. Playground. You guys really squished that Corona junk didn't you? Corona.

Hey. I'm like, go go haul. I'm not yellow. Nothing. It's a double meaning. I liked it, but you know what? Yellow means scared. Oh. He wins. I feel like I'm working at a. It's a double meaning. I liked it, but you know what yellow means scared

He wins I feel like I'm working at a higher level than you guys could you bring it up a little bit? Is that possible? I'm sorry. Yeah, you're really bring it was a good racist pun Bobby showed up ready to tape Uh Another level what times you're set tonight when you're taping what's it? What's a set tonight? Yeah, you're doing the commis ocean. What are you talking about? You're doing the show. No, you're doing it. Have you done it? Yeah, you're doing the comedy social. What are you talking about? What are you doing on the show? No, you're doing it. Have you done it? Yeah, Jay and I did it.

You did it to a Jay? Oh, that's cool. Have you done it? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. You've done it too, right? Yeah, I just did it last week. No, I haven't done it.

What the fuck? The comedy sale is all on Comedy Central. I hope both places die. Die. Die network. Die Comedy Central. Die. Die Comedy Seller.

Die, die, die. What? Live with the sale? Live with the sale on YouTube. Network die comedy sellin die die Live with the time on YouTube you haven't done that one Lewis Lewis gets booked by bringing a school shooter mentality to everybody We don't want you to kill people beyond the show I did I really would be the fuck a trench coat mafia of the comedy I did I really would be the fucking trench coat mafia of the comedy I know you would be the only one by myself nobody will talk to me Yeah, just a long duster and fucking black thing in the air paint Lewis would also be the only school shooter with catch phrases as we shot someone you went In the dirt dog

Science can't help you guys holding up a book Gotcha I hope you guys holding up a book. God job. If you were at the seller now, I mean, this place is very woke now. It went from being the most exclusive to the most inclusive. It's weird. It's like watching your dad die his hair yellow. Hey everyone, I'm cool, right? You're like, yeah, fucking damn it, you're ruined. It's weird, right? But is it just seasonal from when this shows on when

comedy essentials here? No, I think that the cellars and most popular club in the city. And the, it's part of pop culture. So people that are into pop culture now, we're fucking woke jerk offs. It's not like a cool underground thing like it used to be. You just have to be fucking, there's, there's so that three, three rooms every night, seven nights a week. I mean, it's fucking crazy. CBGB used to be like a dangerous punk club. Yeah, it came assured at American apparel. Exactly. So that's I think what you're dealing with.

I don't know. I think the comedy source, comedy source, hard to go fucking murder in those, like those massive rooms where it's not like real comedy fans coming to see you. Where it's just like the people that want to see a comedy show on a Friday night. Those people are trained to be triggered by these words. They're not like the words. Some of these night, those people are trained to be triggered by these words. They're not, like, the words, some of these words, they really are fucking, you know, if you don't hear, you know,

the N word or a failure, or any of these words like on a daily basis, and it's not part of like you and your friends laugh. Or if you're Lewis, they're just floating around your head constantly. I gotta get it out. Sorry, I got the, I got the fag of hiccups. Sorry.

I used to hear it on a daily basis, but my parents stopped calling me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Different level Joe. Oh, yeah, in order to get me to stop saying, in order to get me to stop saying, faggot, you have to scare me.

Yeah, I go. Ah, you go. Okay. Okay, oh, that was good. No, it's sexual. Yeah, you have to get in a couple of water and count to 10. Yeah, I get on a sourcingle banner. Yeah.

Mmm. Oh, it's the half of it. I'm going to. Oh, God. I love it. But I don't think this shows the seller. I see what you mean. It's gotten some of the, there's a lot more comics there that wouldn't fall into our Ilco, whatever.

But the shows are still hot. Well, you're in the red and still kill. You're a woke, you know, you're a little woke, you know, as Joe well, Joe's jokes, folks, fuck dog. He could be Joe is not. He's woke personally, but not his comedy is not woke. He's very, I got no woke comedy. I would describe his act as woke. You haven't seen his act in three years. I knew he was recording an album tonight. It's good. Never invited me. Weird. Um, it was a special and it's a public show. You could have bought tickets. It was a special and it's a public show. You could have bought tickets.

Wow. You should have. You could have learned a little thing. But Lewis, I get it. I watch the special taping. He doesn't use pronouns. Can I tell you something? I regret about my special.

What? Doing it. Come on. You should never take a break in what you're saying. I regret I didn't let Lewis open for me. Thanks. The one with the Jared opened? Yeah.

Oh, he did great. Way better than anyone else would. I think Jared should have opened the thing, but I should have put Lewis on before me. Why? Because he would have got him revved up a little bit. There would have been relief to see you. I think I should have had, I mean, maybe not Jack. I think I should have had, I mean, maybe not yet.

I think I should have had Lewis do it. Well, I think I prepare people for like a dirtier experience. No, I mean, I like both ways, when someone goes up clean in front of me and I'm a little dirty, it's better, it's sometimes just better. It doesn't really matter. But no, a soft opener is good for a special. I agree. That's not what I was saying.

Who do you have open? Sean Donnelly. All right, accurate. Donnelly. He did great. Sean's not soft, Sean's a fucking phenomenal. He's good at it because he does a warm up thing and he does act and it's perfect.

Me and him, when he's hosting, I have to get on stage. We have to touch bellies and turn, like a locksister. And then he's like, what else do you guys do? We just jam. We just bounce off. Yeah, we just want to lock. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, don't turn. And then you separate. You guys have to plan it like a heist before you go on stage. You got to get out there. I turn you turn. Don't fucking turn early, dude. You got to lock me in by the piano.

It's like what they do marching bands. It's choreographed. He goes this way. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Watch him, watch in by the piano. It's like what they do marching bands. It's choreographed, right? And he goes this way. Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, Watch him, watch him dot the eye. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam it's all about content. He need content. What the fuck's that mean? You got to put things out The funny little vignette. Yeah, so so recreate that vignette. Yeah, it's easy All right, do it you put it up there it gets fucking 11 likes you don't do any content Dan so do what do you do? It does a TV show now, but you don't do any

person no he's doing real people content. We're doing fake content. Hey, here's me talking to Mark. Who? He's on a fucking TV program. I need a radio show. Are you done? No, I don't have any more keep going. I'm fucking. He's doing like union shit. What I'm saying is Are you done? The six so hold on Yeah, okay, what I'm saying is is that You don't do any hey, what's up? I'm here terrible on it or hey, what's going on? I'm a check this out you know

I see that I record it and then you watch your back immediately and I'm like Fucking idiot. I like Lewis's Lewis is great. I love what I love Joe's too. I love watching yours. Louis's great. I love watching yours too. I love watching yours. I do great content. I love watching yours. That's how I know about Pancake today. I think all three of us do really unique good content. You guys do. I love watching your guys' I love watching Bert's story.

Look at this, Con. Yeah, now we're on the way. Here on YKBD Podcast right now, baby boys. The best podcasts of the world, the regulars. Hey, Gabby's Pan, he's, I've tasted them. Woo! Fuck you. He steeped them in his mouth.

I have. Did you see my content the other day? Me running naked through seers. I saw that. When was that, though? That was a long time ago. That wasn't now. You don't have the ball suited.

2006. Well, I wouldn't do it. That's like a crime now. 2006, you had to be an alcoholic. Fuckin' do the thing. When did you, were you completely naked? I was, I wore, um, what we realized, I was gonna be naked, but then we realized that's a sex crime.

Yeah. So I went with, I had a candy thong necklace that we wore as like, we made like a thong. Was it your last day at Sears? It was like one of my last days at Sears. It was fun. My first day. Your first day, I'm gonna let these people,

I'm gonna set the tone. I'm gonna let these people know how I, I wore a paper bag over my head just so I wouldn't be able to buy. How'd you get the footage? We worked security that was our job. You were a security guy. Well, I was lost prevention undercover I was not in the cover brother. It's my I've wanted to be an undercover Loss so you walk around like a shopper you'd blow that so fast how someone would be looking at you go don't steal that I would be like don't even fucking think about it. You fucking do that.

I'm a smash. You fucking head, dude. And then they were like, he's running. And Bobby would be like, that, you know, it wasn't that much close. What was that? A new saw? I think, whatever. It's okay.

It was great. It goes, okay, it goes, we're in shared. You just bring up insurance. Robert, we can't keep you on anymore. You're costing us a lot of insurance. Is that true that they, did they make it a non-arrestable offense, like Mr. Meanor theft and somewhere?

Was it San Francisco? I just read that maybe it was a joke. No, they did. I think it was California or something like that. They made it a non-arrestable. Non-arrestable, which is hilarious. Yeah, it was some liberal left, left liberal, far left like let's not a right.

Well, I mean, look, it makes it, I mean, if you put these people in jail for fucking stealing shit in their homeless, what are you gonna do? And they're insured. But how many people, I'm, what percentage of people, do you think it's the homeless people? That's what it is that are stealing? No, assholes are stealing. So if you make it an honorable offense, people are just gonna steal more. I don't see that.

I agree with you, but it's crazy. I understand their concept behind it. It's like they don't want to, like weed. They don't want to put people, they'll put in people away, you know, for fucking 10 years. 25 to life. Yeah, for weed, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy.

That is crazy, but I do. I think it's crazy though that it's fucking, everybody's gonna be smoking. Now you get a fucking inhale weed on every corner. It's like bad ass dude. Well, you still can't smoke in public. You can't. People smoking public on the bad.

Yeah, but you're not supposed to. So you can't, so let me get the straight weed. You can buy it. You can smoke it, but not on the street. Not you're smoking your home legally, but I mean in Denver, it's like one of those things where if you go to a bar and someone's outside by like where the cigarette smokers are, mm-hmm smoking a bowl. No one really. Well, it's legal to smoke weed in your home in New York. Now, that's not a crime to in the world. They're going to want to be criminalized. Not even to be criminalized to the there's not it does not a crime. If you're in your home in New York. Now, there's not a crime to in in the yellow marijuana. Not even decriminalized to the there's not it is not a crime.

If you're in your home smoking a joint, nobody can call the cops in USA. That guy has weed in his home possession of marijuana even 10 years ago was in a crime in New York. It is possession of marijuana in public is the crime. Right.

So if they they're stopping Frisk was a problem because they would go through your pockets and they'd find weed on you and will now your possession possessing marijuana. And was it a problem or a solution? I don't really got a problem with stuff in prison. I, to be honest, I personally was arrested because of stuff in prison a couple times.

And I was so worried. So it works. So it works. I'm like, where are you? I was so worried. That's so funny. They're doing it and he goes, you guys nailed it. Stop it for risky.

He goes, you guys got a good eye. It helps like we're taking you and he's like, what'd you get arrested for? We eat multiple times. That's it? That one time I threatened my roommate with a knife. Oh, I remember that. That was that he came by your house. shirtless.

I remember that. They had a roller blades. I'm a roller blades? Well, they arrested me for menacing and harassment. Menacing, such a terrible word. That's fun. Menacing. You real menacing. That describes Lewis. Menacing such a terrible word. That's fun. Menacing. You real menacing.

That describes Lewis to a T. You were like Dennis. Yeah. I hit him with a slingshot. You hit him. I call the Mr. Wilson and I shot a slingshot at him. With a ball bearing. And Mr. Wilson.

What was the Dennis the man is joke, guys? I loved it. Okay. You were tagging on his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his his his his Yeah, there's a yes and do you inf physically touch him though right? No, I threatened him a bunch. Did you put the knife down somewhere? No, what happened was he was going. We were arguing and then he wanted to get the cable box at a my room because I was moving in a couple weeks and I was like, hey, you're not going to my room.

You're not going to my room until I get home. Sorry, he's like, you want to bet? I mean, you're room right now and I was like a block away. And that's when I ran past you. Yeah, I'm going to go beat up my roommate. You're like, you get to go to jail, dude. And yeah, I went up there and started arguing with him. And I just want to talk shit.

I talk shit like a Puerto Rican. So I just started. Give me a little bit. I'm fucking in your room right now. You bitch ain't doing shit. It's like I go crazy. Let me hear it. You've done it before.

Yeah, I've pod for real. Yeah, you've heard me. Yeah, we've heard. Can you sum in it? I don't know if I can sum in it. Sum in it. You might a good actor. Okay, there you go You don't have it. What's your motivation in this thing? Maybe that's good that you can't summon it But I will I will say things like I will kill you. So what the fuck you cock sucka you go in my room again

I'll fucking stab you in the throat look at my eyes. I will fucking murder you. You got it back to fuck up Oh, you're dead. Yeah. Yeah, I'm dead Yeah, really Keep going I'm almost there almost there. I'm almost there fucking yell more. I like anger's in my I play angry Joe you go now you got a threatening kill somebody. I feel pretty cool right now Well now a little skeptical now. I feel like every time you've ever yelled at me. It was just just dumb enough Yeah, it's fucking phony. Yeah, just did it for the program.

I was scared of you, dude. I was scared of you. Dan, you should be. Yeah. You are the best actor in the room. No offense to Dan. Non-taken. Non-taken.

I can't book billions to save my life. No, no. Well, it keeps sending me on auditions. I'm in a room with guys who are 70 Yeah, and this man I'm like hey, I'm gonna listen for bunions. Yeah That's got more hey That was great. I didn't even get it. Everyone was 70 oh Bunions young people have bunions. Yeah, billion's bunions

I love this see I like onions. You know what? I get it. You didn't even get the billion. I didn't get it. Really? I got it now. You don't expect it from him. I know. That's why.

I expect it. I was there from the jump. I loved it. It's okay. Living with Louis dogs the only way to stay sane. There's a song. Sublime. That's a love.

Billions coming out soon, right? May. Never watch it. It's good. You've never watched that one episode. Now me either. I feel bad about it. Every single episode, some of them twice.

And it's one of the things that you like the show. I love the show. Not because you love him. I love that. I love that. No, it's, it takes me out of it. Whenever I know somebody in a movie or a TV show, I'm like, and there's not take me out of the show.

I get excited. Curb has had so many comics. Yes, he knows. He knows. He knows Nick Crow show. I get excited. Curb has had so many comics. Yeah, seeing he knows. He knows Nick Crowell. I was on the lobby slate and were you? Yeah, Curb. I was on curb too. Amy Schumer.

I played Boston fan yelling at. Oh, Bill Buckner. Bill Buckner. Yeah, I just saw that the other day. Yeah, he's dead, right? Yeah, he died. Yeah, sucks. I was on, um, I played.

I was on, I was on. We had a yell. We had a yell at him. And they were like, all right, just do your thing. He's going to come out and yell. So as soon as he walks out, me in this other comic, this redhead guy, I feel his name is Bill Blair. Pretty big guy. We're going, hey, we're going back now. Go fuck your mother. You're fucking piece of fucking shit. Just, just trash in him. You just saw him get kind of sad. And they were like, whoa, whoa guys, guys. Cause we're like, well, you said do it ever.

I mean, we're from Boston. We have no feeling in this. I just toned it down a little bit. By the end of it, we did like four takes. And we finally like, hey, Bokna, Yelooza. Yelate to everything, that's rude. So then you're not my favorite. Yeah, fucking terrible at parallel packing.

I said, I came up with a good one. I said, Buckner, get a time machine, go back to 86 and bang your knees, you're fat. He goes, was that one? You did that so funny. And then he looks out, and he goes, was that when you were skinny and you go, hey. He goes, they kept, told us down,

it's fine, it was just simple. Then the last one, the guy, do you think, whatever you want? But you know, don't be, you know, so mean. The kid next me, they go, and he walks and goes, Buck, now go fuck your mother. And then he went, why? He just told me, why would he say that?

And Dave was like, what's going on? Why would he do that? Why would he say that? I was fucking dying. It's so funny. Go fuck your mother. Go fuck your mother. After that, did you get to meet Bill Barkner?

I talked to him before, after he left. But before we chatted, he's a big fly fisherman. Big, big, uh, oh, speaking to fly fishing guys, uh, uh, me and Ari talked yesterday. The second week in June, my mother, tell her, is it I? Hey, ma, I'm on the podcast live with Dan Soda, Joe Liss. And do you remember Lewis Gomez? Lewis J Gomez. Lewis J Gomez. Oh, Lewis J Gomez, the Spanish kid that helped me move that time,

remember? Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, settle down. When she goes, he was hot. He's not hot. That's her. What do you mean? I said he's not hot.

That's what she took up with me. It's my mother. Not ask her took up with me. It's my mother, you're not... Asker! Listen, Mom, what's up? Nothing. I just wondered if you got my message. I only need two tickets. All right, yeah, you got two tickets. Yeah, you're all set.

Sorry. All right, I just need two. So you can give whatever I guess we certain Christian and... All right, we don't have to. I'm like, at the beginning, I'm live on a show right now you'll like the break Tell everybody I said hi All right, you just I thought you left the planet I haven't heard from you

Well, Bob call your mom call your mom My what call every I called you the other you should call every son. My, what, I call every Sunday. I call every Sunday. You should call every Sunday, didn't you? You're a piece of shit. She must have another mother. Oh! She's found out about your side mom. Side mom. Side mom, dude.

Bobby cheats. I don't have mom. I love you. Bobby cheats. I love you. I love you. Bobby cheats. I love you.

You're a good son. I love you. I love you. I love you. So bye That sounded like real damage control at the end. Hey does your mom sound exactly like Don or am I crazy? Yeah, it does my dick move. That's all I know. Oh come on I hope it moves and do a better place She goes oh that's strong Spanish boy that helped you move. Yeah, she was a fucking hearty She really they really took a liking to Lewis Likeable dude. He's a likable dude. That was my original podcast likable dude. How it's up? I just heard about the weather. How you're doing?

Lois is like I'm starting my own podcast. It's called you know what likable dude. Yeah Sorry, don't fail. You're doing something. I felt I felt a wall on that one. I thought you got pressured by them. No, no, no, no, that was purely you. You wasn't even listening. That was purely I didn't know you're gonna do a you know what? You'd rip off. It didn't make sense. Bobby's just like Mark Henry the World Strongest man. Subsexual chocolate. Subsexual white chocolate. So does really bailing people out today. He really is and he's bailing one person out today out of time. Louis J. gum. I love him. Yeah, you guys like the look. Can you notice the space between you and yeah, notice that Suarez told me there's a line right here

that I'm not allowed to cross the camera. He's following rules. Oh, wow. Wow. Thank you, Dad. We never crossed the line on this show. Hashtag Nagger. Jesus. Whoa, dude. I said, hey, that was an A. No, dude. What up? Yeah, you're supposed to put up the end now. Everybody's going to hashtag on your Twitter feed. Yeah.

As far as I had a good line. Guys, nobody, nobody, nobody, added out Joe saying Nagger over and over again and posted to Reddit. Yeah, nobody. Nobody nobody. Negru over and over again and posted to Reddit. Yeah, nobody. Nobody. Nobody. What do you always do that? Someone's gonna do it.

You're trying to get your friends in trouble. Every time they just made a compilation of me saying the actual myth and word. It wasn't even by the way. Yeah, but I saw that. It was hilarious. I was like, wow, they didn't really have to pull hard. No, I get that from one episode. Yeah.

A compilation of one episode. Yeah, but they really do do that in a sense of comedy, but then they just take people down by accident. Yeah, because then like nerds see it and they're like, wow, this is real problem. Yeah, yeah, they forget that it's just going to be released. And poor Joe specials going to come out and he's going to get an NPR shot to do something, and then they're going to release that and he's going to be taken down. Well, you're Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican's insane. I thought. Got him right, nigga.

Mike, take it for a spin. Yeah, yeah, Mexican. You can say it. No, I can't. No, no. That's why you joke that we missed that side of the the booth is the proof. Oh, I wasn't a word and word joke. Can we hear it?

Nope. Please. Nope. Come on. It's too late. Just knock knock. He had to set it up. Who's there?

What? What's the deal with? Go. And words. Well, do it. Do it. What do you cause? What do you got? What do you call black? I flies an airplane? What? What? pilot? Thank you. Racist. Will you fix your ears? Try to listen to every other ear. They're folded down like the hats. Yeah, you look like you're going into a little rascals audition. But yours aren't even. That's why it does that. Your ears aren't even?

No, no. Bob, I'm sorry. What's happening? I'm sorry, sorry. What are you doing? What are you fucking faggot? Make fun of his dumb fucking uneven ears. Yeah, you dumb ears.

You stupid uneven ear Mexican. Oh, I'm sorry. Mike Suarez, your ears aren't normal. Yeah, your dog passed away. Yeah, he probably died because of your ears and making a lot of siding. He probably killed himself because he's gonna. Stan looking at your dummy ears anymore. I've never seen a dog throw himself down stairs.

Continuously, we keep taking the money for the brakes and the brakes and the vertebrae say that this was more than one time. Yeah, this was initiated by the dog. Yeah, well, I guess all dogs don't go. You're done getting your ears. I'm gonna kill them. His dog, he's done been a knife. Yeah.

He ran out in front of a fire truck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, at the power lines. Get him his bestest pillow. His bestest pillow. Oh boy. Let me see your ears. I didn't get serious. Yeah, what's up with you? There's your phone. There is a phone. No, it's not even in them.

Take the hat off. Take the hat off. He's evening his ears with his hat. Let me see, turn. Oh, they're normal. You have normally. Just leave it on. Don't put it on so tight.

Leave it up there. Mike, you're bald. Just accept it. I haven't shaved my head, that's why. Yeah, it gives a fuck, it looks fine. Nobody who's sexist. Yeah, I love when Lewis gross his errand. When you grow your hair in, like,

will you let it fucking in? That's what's up. What are you, are you fucking giving me sexy lips right now? Yeah. Oh, you're fucking pounding. You and Gabby should have your own Instagram called Lips. Lips, lovely lips.

Look at those lips. Look at those fucking. Gabby, have you ever Instagram called lips lips lovely lip look at those lips. I get those fucking Gabby Have you ever thought about kissing Lewis? No, never ever very something your panties you did don't like Have you ever had a sex stream about Lewis and woken up like what did I do? No? What'd you drop my phone? Get up you fucking addict Oh fucking addict. I got you dude you got a notification in your settings. Well it's real deal. No but never you off. Thank you for coming to the special Dan. That was a good joke. How did you go Joe?

Kill it. Call if you would have invited me. I thought we were friends. Oh, it was really I promoted it. I promoted it. It was really great. I saw I saw people talking about it and I was like oh cool Joe's doing a special. Joe didn't even talk to me anyway. That's cool. I was actually promoted it a few times. No, I picked it up. You did. Yeah, it was weird. We plugged it for a while. And I did see yesterday him saying that there's still tickets available the day of the special.

So that did make me smile a little bit. Because had he told me to I would have been the first person out there being like, you know, Josie Joggy's one of the fun people. We promoted it. Well, we wanted some, but he wants to disassociate himself from Anderson. Just we want to, why do you want to disassociate?

Those were all gonna create a, yeah, why? We wanted some regular people there? You didn't want right some kind of you know tattooless Non-drogatics that toothless. That's our No, really why didn't you tell Lewis? What do you mean I got an email everyone I know to tell them I'm doing Yeah, you're Tell me I'm sitting there my post was, I think my good friend is doing a special that he never told me about.

Well, I wanted it to be like a regular night at the seller. A lot of friends want to come and support you. Like, it hurts your feelings when you don't. You don't tell us it hurts our feelings. I had to put a thing up. Does anybody know when it is? Yeah. I had a look up on the website.

I genuinely thought, I was like, okay, I guess me and Joe aren't as close as I thought. Yeah, I mean, your original initial post was a picture of Liz Meal. So I had no idea to play Reddit. That's the link. I know, but it didn't. Yeah, but it was hurt.

It looked like harsh back. Let me take Joe's back on this. Joe isn't the kind of person to extend himself and let you know he's doing that. He was, you know, he didn't tell anybody. Everyone promoted out of the goodness of their own hearts. Did you not want us here? Thank you.

Did you not want us there? Well, I wanted it to be just a regular old night at the cellar where I happened to do a nice set. Touch it. But what about us? What about your friends? So you want my special to be about you, his set. I want your special.

You're upset. Good, yes. My special wasn't about you. I want your. I'm good. Yes. My special. Yes. Wasn't about you. How does that make you feel? I'll tell you, can I tell you really? Yeah.

I'm upset. Louis was there. I am upset. He was in my cancel corner. I'm upset. He was around a curtain. No, it was him and I was like. Yeah.

I walked in there. They had binoculars. I walked in. I said, no. What if Louis really was just addicted to jerking off like every time you like, you still look water like, hey, stop dude again. No, Sarah was there as she cares. I wanted to be there, but I wasn't asked. How does that bowshows? Why would I ask? Why would I

spend? Why would you even let me know that it was happening? That is true. I promoted it. Everyone's on social media. Why would you let me me know that it was happening? That is true. I promoted it. Everyone's on social media. Why would you let me go? I saw the day of when you said, you guys follow me. You're one of my followers. I would be, I posted it to my father.

You were doing some content. I would actually, I would actually, if you call me and said, dude, hey guys, I'm doing this thing. Can you please put it out there because I want to sell the room out with all fans? And I would be like, yeah, absolutely. I had to go, I heard it from over here and over there. I was like, what? And then I looked and I'm like, where is it?

I couldn't find it. And then I did it myself. I was like, can somebody send me that? And then they said, and then I put a bunch of things out trying to promote it and get people to go. And- Kidding Wamp that though, what are you saying is here? And I didn't even get a, like, a, hey man, thanks.

Or can you make it down? I'd love for you to be there. Well, I was a lot of- Special night. It was a lot of night. There was a lot of pressure comics being there. I just like kept it on a low. Oh, that's it. Low key. You didn't want to worry. Louis. That a low key. Well, why Louis was it? Why was okay to have Louis? Because he's famous. It's okay. Well, I was with him leading up to it. Why? Because I was opening for him. So you came from a shoulder and Louis. So you didn't want

comic except for two better comics of me and Bobby. No, so did I came yet better than me. Well, you know, we're not at all. So it was there. In fact, I saw him while it was on stage. So Louis and I'm better than him. I'm better than you.

I'll give you then. I give you you. Good dance. I make it weird. Dan's probably a better feature than you. No, absolutely. I better feature 25 minutes of Dan Soder. Come on. Come on. Yeah, that is a good. Right? I'm guessing. I'm guessing. You want 25 of dance odour. You get 28 minutes. You're getting peak 28. You're like doing other voice get

out here kid. I remember Bobby. You close with your opener. I remember I remember Bobby when I was featuring for him. When I first started headlining, he goes, you just get one time my future for me gets off the stage. He goes, yeah, you can fucking feature dude, but you can't fucking headline. That's just how he opened the sense in the green room. He just opens, walks in the green room he goes,

yeah, you can fucking feature dude, but you can't fucking headline. I was like, what did I do? I don't do it. It just killed for 25 minutes. Here he is. It's great for you to awesome. Featuring is the best thing in the world.

You can look like a god for 25. I'm gonna show you, you're best material though, crowds warmed up. No cheques by. I have all this stuff. By the way, I didn't know that. That can be no pressure. I didn't know that rage. And then I had Tim Dylan on the road with me.

And I had the exact same rage when I got off stage. I was like, yeah, you're fucking killing it 25. Do 45 doing that. He's ashamed too. I'm like, he has you killer. You're fucking hour, right? And I'm like, oh my god 45 doing that, or he's ashamed too. I'm like, he has a killer. You fucking hour, right? And I'm like, oh my god, it's so like Bobby. You fucking kill him, it's fucking you, it's fucking hard.

My boy was just like me. And my boy. And the fats and the cradle and the stew. What you want me? The cats and the fat. You said fats. What? You said fats.

I don't think so. I think you said someone please rewind that and play it back. You said fats. I don't think so. I think you said someone please rewind that and play it back. You said that. I meant to say that since. Shh. Shh. But no, I didn't want a bunch of pressure and stress and I just kept it low.

No, it's high with the much on it. It's not a little pressure, it's just having. Just Louis. Yeah, just Louis, the guy with every fucking kind of protest. Maybe a protest might break out. Oh, and Ari. Yeah, there's no point. Ari was there too.

Ari was there. Yeah. One of the comics, Mark. Mark, good. I'll give you the whole list. I'll sing good Wow I'll can't hear you The stool pigeon, maybe Vita was there Vita was really sweet. Wow. She didn't even want he's a lying piece of shit No, here he's a lot. It's fine. Can I just why don't you just be honest? They all were head spots upstairs They came out of show upstairs. I don't the seller. These people were there because they were upstairs. I

didn't get an invite to your special. You had dumbed them. Yes, you did. An email to come to your special. No, you got an invite specifically. I said, please come. I love you. I respect you. No, you sent it to me and I fixed it. Got to say that's the only involved that I had. I didn't say that at all. I had a really great time at your special. Thanks. I didn't even know about it. Hey, by the way guys Thanks for coming to my special. I was at yours Bob. I did come to your special. I was at your

I know I'm filming another special in a month If you want me there, but if not I understand a lot of pressure if I was this where's it at? You know, it's it. I can't it's gonna be at the village on the ground, but it's gonna be insomnia cookies Can I'm taking over. That was a low blow. I'm sorry, I'm about to rip off. No, it was probably not like that. That's how I'm doing cooking. That's true.

We're not fat shaming anymore, it's 2020, dude. Well, we're actually doing half now and then half later. What? Right. It's kind of a different thing. Oh, you've got a more than a material. It's easy, it's easy. Yeah, you go.

I got 30 and then I'm fat. And then it's fat. I can only do it there. I'm coming over here. I can only do it there. he goes I got 30 and then I'm Coming up you know that beach of talk I was fucking I'm not Is it gonna be a fat then huh? It's gonna be fat then hopefully I Do not do actually that's a good point I keep on losing weight though you're gonna almost spit in Bobby's face almost a spit coffee Because it's like the four after how you guys gonna come yes on your face No need for that. I don't know why you're done with my face.

There's no need to come on anybody's face, Joe. Well, that's what I'd wanted to do. I wanted to keep it real good. Oh, I think he's very decorative. Yeah, who does it, it's here. But then I thought, then all of a sudden tickets were very low. Yeah, I don't know a terrible marketing idea

to keep it low and secretive. Stupid. Well, the seller fucking sells at every show. Every show you're at. Yeah, because the a terrible marketing idea to keep it low and secretive stupid one the seller fucking sells at every show Yeah, because the weird comics are there. Yeah, you're also a Monday night to shoot going up against the coronavirus I know Corona people want terrible Corona with a lot of agents at your show agents agents there were agents. No, we didn't let them. Hi Corona No, we didn't let them. Hi, Corona.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad,

bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad do want to talk about yours. No, it's okay. It's fine. It was phenomenal. I want to thank you. I will first of all, I think Joe's phenomenal. Thank you. And I think in the last two years, I'm trying to say something serious. Oh, sorry.

You smell your own hands? Yeah, it smells pretty good, actually. What do you got? That's pretty good. I think, try it. You have to invite me to smell your armpits, but not to your special. You know what? Invite people to your special.

Yeah, you do. I invite you to watch my big night. I saw fucking asshole. I invited all three of you to my special. You should have trashed me. I made sure you were on the fucking list. You had a certain table. I go, I want these guys to be taken care of at that table.

All you guys. Look at this. I still have my fucking ticket list I said I regret not having him. He should have opened for me on my special. Did you go to the soda special? I was going to but I couldn't I He was in Boston and he actually called me with a lovely talk. Yes And I told him how proud I was a him he came with me on the road. You are not proud of me I want to say that it's coming at the end of the show. I don't know.

We don't know. We don't know what the special is. I just don't, I just, I just, you know. I'd love to say I'm proud, but I have no idea. I'm quite a fucking each other. I mean, I understand him, but me, me. You don't invite me, me, me. I think I would, if I wrote to everyone,

I would really like to be with everybody. Why am I with everybody? Why am I with everybody? Why am I with everybody? You're close friends. You, I gotta invite. You're close friends. Everybody. No, you don't.

Look at that. Fight me. Look at that. Still the list I got for my special. I still have everyone I invited for tickets. I was gonna come to both shows and I felt very bad and I hit Dan up on the dinner. I can't come to both of them so sorry.

Is that a problem? You're gonna worry about that. I was like, dude, even that you're coming to one, thank you. I call them. I call them. Wait a long walk. You were on your way to Boston. You were gonna come back down. I just thought we were friends, Joe. I didn't't call I just went and then got a macard in the gift and I can't believe it

I'm gonna see if I can find my fucking thing Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, Can we give a special discount code ticket link for your special right now? I'm gonna promote it. I'm gonna get all my pronouncing your special right now. What do you mean? And a special discount code. What do you want? You're not gonna pay full price for your special. It's just we're gonna be. I do like three for one.

That's mean dude. Three for one. Four for one. There's no for for one. It's free. No, it's that it's just gonna be at the village. I got it's gonna be, you know, a night at the village on the ground. Mike, you got to go and do that thing in front of Joe's for one. It's free. No, it's that it's just going to be at the village on the ground. It's going to be, you know, a night at the village on the ground. Mike, you got to go and do that thing in front of Joe's for me.

Would you do that real quick? I fucked up again. Mike, I just pays in $10 to dance with a shirt off in front of Joe's. Dude, I want you to go whack, wag your dick at the college student. Did the truffle shuffle in front of Joe's. He has $10. Sam's high. Go go. What do you have to do in front of Joe's he has $10. Sam's hired a go go go. Delib it. I'm sorry. What do you have to do in front of Joe's? I my car's there, but I got this parking app that every week I fail to get the stupid number. What?

He should give me another coffee while he's down there. Yeah. Starbucks. Hey, you go. You go. Swarif. Somebody go and get another coffee for him. Yeah.

Hot skater vampire kid. Go get his coffee. Yeah. Hey guy that took my girlfriend in eighth grade Can you get me an ice coffee with cream? I'm sorry. I'm a coffee a little bit of cream. You got it Mike I go ice coffee green tea ice coffee because it's nice out there in the pocket my pocket of my jacket That's Lewis's jacket. I would never wear that coat. It's coming. Now. I don't care. Calvin Klein is stupid What target shit? You don't know Cal Marshall It's Calvin Klein. Now I don't care. Calvin Klein is stupid. What? Target shit.

You don't know Calvin Marshalls. Dude Calvin Klein is not talking. Calvin Klein is fucking the worst. What? Thanks. First of all, they stink. It's Pierre Cardin. Calvin Klein is gabbage.

Dude. It's a Pierre Cardin. Pierre Cardin is the cheapest coat you can get. Mike, do you know my jacket? It's the one with the furry inside the cool hipster jack the 4x one So when it like a blanket a house when they're bombing it for Oh, no, no, that's not a pool tarp. That's Bobby's jacket. Yeah. Why would you kill your funny joke? That came out nice and then step on it with the same joke and I missed mine came off the fingers

Why would you do that? I didn't kill it. I said not my laugh. We paused dandard bomb then I bomb yeah, but you But other joke existed you know what I was Louis Carol does I feel like my bomb I don't think the whole tarp was bad. It wasn't even bad. It was maybe maybe just hurt I think I think it hurt but also I think my bomb affected it and I put a little shit on it. I think it hurt I think you just heard but yours wasn't about it was a flat tire. tire Let's buy some I want to be I think it's gonna be specific. You're right. You know what? You're right. This is yours though. Yeah, flat tire. What was my mom for I can't remember? Oh, I'll be an Anthony. I so what do we say to you after your special of really a lot of meaningful things that most of you guys Have never shut up and kiss my quits. Don't know. He said it was great. That's it

He said more as a personal You don't share any of it. Is there any words of wisdom? We can get he said it was really good. I know I had the best talk with is our friend Colin Quinn We calm was there he go. He did not he said he was going to and didn't come so nice. You're not so you spoke You spoke to him and told him about your story. I said it would be very, I told him a few weeks in advance. I said it would be very meaningful. Yeah. Lewis just called. Lewis just called.

Lewis just called. It was like three months ago. Lewis just called. I'm bowed. Lewis just called. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed.

I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bowed. I'm bow. Make your argument, yours. I'm Baylif. Joe.

Judge. Of course you're actually neutral. Goddamn right. I am. I'm sweetest day. I'm going to go right down the. Joe, we'd all like to believe that you're a good person. Thank you.

I appreciate it. We'd all like to believe that you're a good friend. In fact, you're one of the only people in here that I know that really prides himself on being a good friend. I've had issues in the past with Joe where I've got, I've actually lost my temper, probably overreacting. Yes. And then Joe, you know, he gets very visibly upset. We have a conversation. But Joe does not want to be a bad friend. It's scary, how, but that is actually not really who Joe is. No, that is who Joe wants people to think. Thank you.

Are, can I just interject, are you calling him a phony? I'm saying that I'm the judge. You're right. I'm the best. You're a bailiff. If something happens, if anything happens. Your bailiff is way out of line right? I'm sorry. Touch my shoulder. You send it through me. Whisper it to me.

You're not wearing any clothes under your robe. That's not anybody's business. What was the question? You make me do dirty thinking you're all. That's not anybody's business. Well, I feel like I'm being smeared here. Can I object? You can stop talking until it just drives.

I mean, you will have your honor. Should maybe be asking questions. He's making statements that are liable. Well, that's it. You can say you object. I object. You object. Overrule.

Overrule. Judge. Judge, is there a question coming to that Corona? We can't do that. There you can. Is there a question coming anytime? Yeah, there's a question coming. Get to your question. Joe. Joe. Yes. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, We found out at least a half dozen names that were there that watched you half a dozen and half a dozen names that we all know that I feel that I'm friends with those people too not to anything. Sorry. There's a lot of comics there. I

Don't want to make I know we're doing a comedy sketch, but in reality you might be the most horrific judge of all time Just plugging in your overall Overworld shockers overworld. Oh, yeah, dude. I The dick the dick till the dick till the hikier that feel bitch. You're on it. May I ask is again? I don't want to belabor my my my question. Is there a question coming at any point? Your honor objection. It's not a job to ask questions What it's not a job to ask questions since the job to answer. All right, listen, I need you to get to you. I'm my own representative I need you to get to your point, Mr. Gomez, Jay. Thank you for using the J. You're on to get the fuck a man.

You're right. Realized, realized judge right there. Realized judge. He's a realized judge with a realized plan. He's judging things with the realized judge thing. Bobby. Get to it. Let's go. So, Joe, when you didn't invite me or Bobby Do you feel as if you were making an excuse in retrospect for forgetting to invite us and just trying to pick up the pieces and salvage your friendship?

One thing I want to say first and foremost answer the question. This is my answer. You're on oh, sorry Your honor. You're on her. He's beating around the bush My I was you're on a beating around the bush. This is my answer, you're on it. Oh, sorry. You're on it, you're on it, he's beating around the bush. My, I was, you're on it, beating around the bush. I was, don't beat around the bush. I was joking about Colin. I talked to Colin a half hour before, because I was freaking out, and so I called him. He was not, I can verify.

He was not notified. I can show you the stats, the, the, the call. I'd like to see it. I called him right before the special, and he was very helpful to me, and I recommend everybody talking to him before us. Can I, can I just pause the courtroom for one second? So what you're saying is, and please add this rusty. I can't do it on the bail of dog. You're part of my room. But you're also the stenographer.

We're a low budget, low budget courtroom. It's the dude court. Dude court. Do you want me to re-back the minute? No, I don't. Not right now, Rusty. What I want you to do. Hi Rusty. It doesn't matter. Yeah Cuz I got a rusty trombone what it doesn't matter You're on around what? What do you want to call Gabby? What no, I like rusty. Oh, it didn't shut up Nothing for me. I think Your honor mage eject was it still my time to talk I get nothing I He's avoiding

I remember I really used to drink alcohol in this show you just you drank all my alcohol Yeah, yeah, we were fucking awesome dude, too Because in this actually goes back to the the foundation of what I'm about to talk to. Remember when we used to be. Friends. Remember when we used to be. Yeah, we made a woman move back to Australia. Remember when we had a foundation of friendship. That wasn't it.

Remember when we were a unit of one, when we did things for each other, we used to have it. The biggest thing is, I've slept in this room before because I mean, I was, we're gonna do back to back episodes. And here's the thing I'm saying is is that I was there when there was no Louis I was there when you didn't know Colin You know, you know when I know I knew Colin before I knew you I would not know my story You didn't okay. I was there like years before I was I was there before any of this and

You know what it it pains me it pains me Hit it hit it Lewis Lewis doing I got more speech I I remember back in the day Remember one joke got stopped drinking This was us I was totally Bobby was fat Monica Damn was definitely chin like Suck my dick. I love pills Damn, it's definitely Chandler. Yeah!

Suck my dick, I love pills. Got a tranny, Dad. Yeah. Who am I? You're Joey. I'm definitely Joey. I mean, dumb hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot Your armor Gabby's rates I totally put it panties in my mouth. Yeah, you're gonna get you're gonna get herpes What did Gabby? No, you're maybe tall and blonde Week a week

That's no, I love to hear Lewis's break down to friends Phoebe was a tall dumb bitch. I shut the thing up. Oh, that's bad radio. Turn that off, we can't hear. Listen, that's fun in the moment, but people at home are like this son. I know, but he's a fine.

Oh, house music is on. You know better than that. You run a network. Yeah, come on. I come on, no better. Thank. Gassage a little bit. I really, I can't believe it, you know.

Anyways, I didn't invite Con con i called him before for advice and have you guys considered this he's like should i invite bobby and louis perhaps i don't know if i can bring down the room have you considered perhaps i hate myself and have very low self-esteem and don't want to encumber everybody with trying to come to my special and give them the pressure of going all i got to go to this fucking special now

that would be that i don't invite every other comic in your life. I didn't invite people. They gave you invited Ari. Dan, did I reach out and say, could you come to my special? No, he's not. I did not call Ari and say, can you come to my special game? In fact, it added stress to me to have Ari there. You invited Louis.

Louis, I, he knew I was having doing the special and he texted me and said, how you feel? And I said, pretty good. I'm here. If you want to come by and he said, I'm going to come to the 10 o'clock. I didn't invite. I didn't say come to the special invited and he texted me and said how you feel and I said pretty good. I'm here if you want to come by and he said I'm going to come to the 10 o'clock. I didn't invite I didn't say come to the special. I texted you. I said so no one told you it was going to be this way. I invited nobody Gary Veter reached out and said he was coming down and Gary went, I'm

going to be around hold on my wife's hitting me. Hey, listen to his album. I'll let's do it down the hammer. Yeah, Vita lost his mind. Sorry, babe. I was there when he filmed, he taped it. So was I, and to further your point of how great of a comedian you were, I followed your degenerate set, and it made me want to stop doing comedy.

Oh, that was the week when he was filming it. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, Vita's set. You were running your degenerates. Vita was taping his album, and this is like, you're after Bobby. I was like, cool. Thanks for making me hate this room off the jump. You had a good time, didn't you?

Yeah, not the first time. Second time out of good time. First time was a rough go, buddy. Vita, what is it called? Vita Las Vegas. Yes. It's out now. Where is it?

It's out everywhere they have it. I actually listened to it. It's great. Can I say this? I think the real issue here is your honor. Yes. That you feel in the court. Are you addressing the court? Yes. I feel that you feel in the court. You need to ask if you can address the court. Your honor, may I address the court? You may. I feel that you feel invisible. And I'm sorry that you feel that way. And if I'm

contributing to your feeling of visibility, I apologize genuinely. I just know that I was invited to one thing of yours. picnic party and you trashed it I trashed because you told me my friends were gonna be there and it was just all open-micers and a balloon and the balloon What and the balloon was way too low you're on her wait. I had a baby. I had a baby in the carriage a wife in tow And out you said look for the balloon and the balloon was two inches off the ground It took me 45 minutes to find it dump party in a huge field and you said, look for the balloon. And the balloon was two inches off the ground. It took me 45 minutes to find your dump party in a huge field.

Oh, I know it's work. Okay, so, and then I got there and it was about your people, and I thought when you do a part, a little thing like a picnic, you bring food and everybody brings food, but not Joe's fucking homeless friends. I brought food and they ate it all. Okay, I thought I was gonna,

yeah, let me have some of your cheese, have some of this, have this, I guess, nothing. They just scavenged my shit. These little thin pale bearded half-connected facial here, people that I haven't seen ever since by the way. They don't care about you. Now that these friends with Louie, none of those were invited to the special.

They were all there, the whole table of them. One, there's a table of 14 of them. One, I'm sure they were fucking good. It was really nice. there. The whole table of them. One. There's a table of 14 of them. One, I'm sure they were fucking good. They had to pay for their food. One. Fucking party that I trashed because I feel like I had the right to trash, by the way. Sure.

Because of the dumb balloon and all the hijinks that happened, okay? And I've invited them to every single party I've ever had. Every party, every barbecue. Which, you know, you guys may think that I invite everybody. There's a finite amount of people that I can invite to that party. There's some people there that probably should be nick. Name one.

I will not name names, but we'll couple them here. Can I write them down? Can I write them down on a paper and slide it? Everyone's in a while you do go to one of Bobby's Barbecue's and they're like, why is this person here? You don't think Collins said that about you every time? Me? Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I mean, those things.

I used to get shit for having you guys, because I would have these, my friends, Colin, Keith, Voss, and then you guys were nobody. Yeah, and now you need people that feed your old ass. And they were going like this. They would say, who are these other, I mean, they're my friends, they're funny. You know, you're on my, that's it, they're coming.

And then I would get people that would come who aren't on comics and be like, dude, it's all comics. We'll go say hi. And you guys accused me of putting open micros over here. And I didn't, yeah. You're on a, do you see the double standard in complaining of what you're saying? Everything you're saying right now,

we are in reverse roles of my party. I'm invited invited everybody. That's what I do in the park. And I haven't invited me since. Yeah, but you're parked. Here's the, here's the, your party sucks, Dick. Bobby is,

you love the park party. I object. Lewis enjoys it. He comes and wants to fight everybody, throws the Frisbee, I'm gonna do something out of character. We have a great time. I'm gonna make a stance.

What? Whoa. I did gonna make a stance What Got an opinion You're both right in your own way you guys are seeing it from different angles Let's all be friends park parties blow my party's bloated Yes, I'm in that best of a shit situation. Yeah, Bobby's look sure I got Amy Schumer sign eyeing me fucking cool person table, but at least Bobby's got food. There's kids There's transisting tips are the best

Stank tips I am Ever I'll tell you I'll tell you I'm gonna share some spicy peas with a bunch of open Micros from Brooklyn yeah Fuck you I'm like going to Bobby's I know I'm gonna get some seasoned He's with a bunch of open-micres from Brooklyn. Hat. Yeah, fuck you. Ah! Are they going to Bobby's? I know I'm going to get some seasoned potatoes. I know I'm going to eat some ice cream,

and then I know I'm going to diary it out. And Bobby's been- Wait, I'm going to cook in the park. I can't cook in the park. Where's your fuck- Bring your entire E-Mac and Bolly O ice cream stand. That's my respect. I had fucking bad injuries every fucking year.

Your order. The bone. I had a party this Sunday at my house and we had a huge spread what? I wasn't invited no no no you sir are fucking convicted you are

it was great you chose a bad friend you chose a bad friend big goes a bad friend Joe has shitty parties in the grass Joe has shitty parties in the grass that Joe has shitty parties in the grass. That was a hard one to do, but I thought it had some home. Joe, the thing is, look, Bobby's right.

First of all, you're only as good as the people you surround yourself with, okay? So... Then Joe's right. If that's the point. Yeah, I mean, we had some star-studded event at my special. Yeah, it was pretty good. You had a party and you didn't invite me at your house?

We're talking about your park party. Why don't you invite me? Do you not like me? Bobby, you also don't come, so fuck you. It doesn't matter. So fuck you. Okay, hang on a second. Bobby's like, because I invite him every year

to the fucking all dude, all male community. I was coming this year. Food thing. I started for Bobby, and all you can eat all male comedian food event. Okay, I just won out of all the year. We call it Bobby Kelly Day. Buddy, first of all, this year I was coming,

but you didn't tell me this year. I found out from a, you told me the day of. No. Buddy, I got the tech. Are you lying the day of an hour and a half? Are you also talking like a foreign cabbie? Buddy, buddy, I got the dog on the Brooklyn. Why you are?

They called the Brooklyn and Barney. Why the hell? You called me the day of and said, dude, I don't know if you can make it. It's in an hour and a half, but we're meeting for the ball mail. Oh, good news about Lewis. He'll show up 40 minutes late to his own fucking life.

OK, but I was coming. I would have finished him. You told me the day. I barely saw you. I was there for 45 minutes of the show. You told me the day before I would come. And I am definitely love. That's a good party. Yeah, I've been to that party

That's all I'm gonna tell you story Patrice are nail had a barbecue every year. How long is the story? Not too long. Okay. I had a barbecue every year in his backyard And he would fight a certain amount of people not everybody But if you did get invited you went because you know, you it's Patrice and you love it like you know Reason why my barbecue exists is because that barbecue, I thought this should be a barbecue for this group of friends to keep together, right? And to bring up the next guys and so anyways, Colin Quinn never went.

He always invited Quinn, always. And then one year he didn't invite Quinn. And Quinn called him up and said, you know, where's my fucking invite? He goes, you never come. I'm not inviting you anymore. I invited you to, you don't come. He goes, that'm not inviting you anymore. I invited you too. You don't come. He goes, that's not the fucking point.

I get the invite. You always. Can I answer that? He goes, you're gonna come? He goes, absolutely not. I'm probably never gonna come to Jersey City. But I still get the invite because of who I am to. And that was actually the last words

that Collins had to put to you. It's pretty bad. Yeah, it was very bad. The whole, it's haunted him ever since. You stopped? That's very close. Yeah, it was very sad. It's all in them. It's haunted, I remember saying that. You stopped. That's very close. Yeah. That's very close.

Big J, big J is one of my favorite stories about Patrice's barbecue. Nate went one year, and then the next year Nate didn't get an invite. And Nate was like, I did not piss off Patrice or something. Yeah. I didn't get an invite. And J calls Patrice, and he goes, hey, my friend Nate was there last year. Did he do anything? Like, is he not going to get an invite?

And Patrice goes, Oh, man invite Nate He doesn't believe in dinosaurs. That's the kind of guy I want at a party Everyone is gonna agree with me. I was like that's so funny Yeah, Patrice went to big J's barbecue one year. I was there and he just spent the whole barbecue trashing big J's barbecue Just there's like there's like there's no food. Oh y'all don't have a cook I mean is there garbage? Just sat back like I'm never coming to your house again. I'm treason's barbecue dude was too much. It was crazy I I mean Thanksgiving one year. Oh, it was nuts fucking it was nuts and honestly

It's probably why he died, but you know what to be honest with you. It was yeah good barbecues tend to lead to problems It was it was all his aunt upstairs. Shucking beans. What? I don't know. They're doing something upstairs. That sounds really racist, but why? They weren't shuckin beans.

Get out of here. Go shuck beans. Look at all these bean shuckers. What the fuck? This is old. Shuckin bean. Yeah, you get the shuckin bean. Shuckin bean.

Shuckin bean. Shuckin bean. That was her name. Shuckin beans. Shuckin bean on eel. Bobby get out of here. I'm shuckabee. Shuckabee. Shuckabee. Shuckabee. That was her name. Oh, peace, peace. Shuckabee. Shuckabee and O'Neal. Bobby get out of here. I'm shuckabee.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Hallelujah. Shuckabee. Shuckabee. So I mean, we've got, I guess I've gotten down to it. I'm not as close to you as I thought I was. Wouldn't you say that being the person that marries me, Trump's any kind of Sunday get together

with people that you so callously call open-micers? You're not open-micers anymore. You were when I met you, Joe. No, a lot of these are open-micers actually. Well, you were, you weren't when I met you and I took you under my little dusty wing. It was a... Why dusty?

I didn't want to say heavy. It was an Why dusty? I didn't want to say heavy. It was an arm flap. I didn't want to say heavy. I was setting, I was throwing the ball up for one of these assholes. Sex-esque in. Yeah. I didn't know you when I was an open mind.

Take him under his, I would say. You were to me. Maybe it's tit. I would discover sort of tit. Dude, I remember Joe opening for you. When I took you under my tit. Yeah. Under his food flap?

He held you like a pencil under his tit. Dude, I got a lot of room under my boot flap. You know, that's where you are. I had all three of you under my tinium. Yeah, I remember a joelist opening for you at Caroline's in 2008. And I went with was it 2008? It was later than that. It's like 19, 2010.

No, wait later. I didn't wait later because I knew Bobby. It was Saturday. I did not meet you until we did the podcast. That's not true. You open for him at Caroline's? No, no, that happened after the podcast. Nope, started.

No, that's not true at all. Cause Bobby had, I remember Bobby had hair. Joe's told his soul. Billion times that coming in the podcast the first time and I was supposed to be there and I didn't show up. Oh, yes. I look up the dates so I can prove it. Yeah, he's talked about that.

I feel like you can look back to you. You know what, dude, history. Yep. And when I said you should have Joe list on the podcast, I said March, March of 2012. I said he opened up and open for you at Caroline's. That's it. March 12. My son was born.

That's not true. In December. Yeah, I was late. Your son, birthday is my sub right. We started doing this podcast in 2010 altogether. All together now. No, I was first on in 2000, maybe it was 2011. It was 2010 because I was a waiter. Hey, guys, I think this is all important. I think I think let's be honest. I think really I just met Joe right

now. Yeah. Now we really know Joe will be right back after these advertisements, we'll be right back. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fui paraas! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

¿Ve a ver? ¿Ve a Nagger? ¿Ve a ver? ¿Ve a ver las naves? ¿Ve a ver las naves? Pero vamos a ir. Gracias por checking la podcast. ¿Ve a ver back. Thank you very much for checking out the podcast. Wait, that was it. Yeah, that was it. Oh, I thought we're gonna I'm gonna read the names when Dan comes back. Oh, okay. Yeah, what names? Well, we have new Patreon members Robert Kelly live.com

Patreon. What is it called? Fucking old coot Patreon.com says Robert Kelly. If you're a man, listen to this podcast, if you subscribe to the YouTube channel, please subscribe to my page. There's three different levels and each one of them is amazing. Thank you so much for being a member. We have the gym, not in life from the shed up there. Right now. Sorry.

You don't like burps? No. You know, is it gross? You know, what happens when you quit when you quieft? Do you get embarrassed? No. Why? You mean, do you quiefe? So burp on your skin. Not men don't quiefe. Yeah. We can't quiefe. Yeah, you do. Go back. Go back. You don't take for a bobby. What's a dick fart? Just Oh, come right out of your dick. No, I never heard my dick fart really no dick so far you should try it shut up Just stop saying stuff you've alternative asshole Just really you just go with it. Would you take an improv class this weekend read the names?

Well, I said I'm not reading no tell me what to do. This isn't your fucking Extraving in podcast or whatever the fuck all traffic what's it called unabashed? I knew you'd love a little plug right there. Look how fast you get in. I love you. Okay. Here we go. A lot of do people from the gym, Norton.

Thank you. Thank you. Like on track. Yeah. Thank you. Get me back. Did you lose weight a little bit? Oh, you can't tell.

I know. I'm kidding. You look great. Anyway, here coming soon. We just taped. Jim Norton is up right now live from the shed. Great episode. Great response. Irish affair.

We just taped. We also have Anthony Cumia. And I'm going to be I'm going to announce it now Dennis Larry. Yes. Yes. It's a big one. Big one. Um, so anyways, uh, take care.

Get me on the, uh, the big show in Boston. What's that? The comic come home. I'm from there. Oh, I would definitely do that. Yesterday I would have done. Oh, anyway. Yeah, I know.

But you think about get me to one of your parties and then we'll talk about getting you in at the comic come home. Sure. Thanks for being the biggest, most important part of my wedding, the biggest day of my life. Yeah, but I thought it was, I thought it was, it meant something to me too.

That was it. But apparently I was your But apparently he had come to your house. Like, you meet you at a Sheridan at a double trees, or wherever it is in Tari Town, but I can't come to your house. Tari Town. Yeah, I mean, by the way, he's, he's going like, yeah, dude, you worked for me on my wedding day. I put you to work.

So, remember, I did the thing for me. All these names are you up? Did he pay you? No, I didn't get tips. Wow. Hey, someone for fucking your way. And I brought two boxes of cigars.

Didn't get one cigar. I bet you do pay the person who matters you. You go to the church and try to get a priest to marry. You got to pay that motherfucker. You think he doesn't for his health? Five hundred dollars in cigars.

I didn't even smoke one. You could have smoke. I couldn't because I couldn't bring my kid. I had to go back the babysitter. Oh, that's too bad. Well, I'm sorry that my special wasn't as everything that you wanted it to be. I don't know what it was. To be honest, I heard it was great. It could have been a pie beyond my wall. Guys, let me tell you right now. It was phenomenal. It was a night in coffee. The last 40 minutes might be a window into why you guys weren't invited. Ooh, a counter-archimant.

Because you're not funny. That's some good ones. I had a few good ones. All these names are new. All right, here we go. These are names, new Patreon. When you become a member, I read them right on the podcast.

And this is a very special one because of Regsie here. Brad Average Pecker Brown. Brad Average Pecker Brown. Confirmed pedophile. have to all say his name Doug Harper Doug Harper Burr Burr Burr

Burr Burr Burr Burr Arsonist Jeremy Haudley Jeremy Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots

Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots Hots A.K.A. Little brother. Little brother. Little brother. Andrew Borsetti. We're all the women. Warner Boo Kiss. Warner Boo Kiss.

Warner Boo Kiss. Boo Seas. Patrick O'Connor. Ah, look at the Irish. Oh, a cool, doy-dryish guy. Bill Niko. Bill Niko. No, Niko.

I'm sorry. I said it wrong. Great golfer. And Eric. Eric. Eric. Little gay, Eric. Kevinger. Sorry. I said it wrong. Great golfer. And Eric. Eric. Eric. Okay. Little gay Eric. Kevin Yelkin. Yeah, old Yelkes. John P. Boyd. John P. Boyd. He's rocking the fucking middle initial. Greg Landelang. Landelakes. Landelakes. Buttery Craig. Chris Callis McAllister. Guy Chris. Another one. Another one. Drew Martin. That sounds made up. That's two different men true and Martin. All in Hill

made up Seriously not one one So Vestus this alone so Vestus alone Tristan Faris Tristan what lovely Stephanie Fucking it fucking it fucking it's she loves Men every orifice fucking it fucking it fucking it fucking it fucking it fucking it suck it. it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's fucking it's After finding the great, the big white chief does not know how to read off of the piece of tree. Are you reading 100% of your Patreon's?

No, this is just new ones. Imagine come down to this. Yeah, 19 hours. Alright, right. Stardro is like, he's going. Is he going to your Patreon's not going to go? Todd? When you personally thank every patron, Todd Rudolph.

I think this doesn't too. Todd Rudolph. Todd Rudolph. Great segment. Great segment dear. Greg. That's it. Just Greg.

Patrick Luke-key. That's made up. Mark Cullet. Who lit? James Scalzo, Ben Blaise, Kevin Donnelly. Benny Blaise? Peter Gayer. Yeah.

Yeah. Errol. Errol Hack. John Gayest. And Jason Hoffman. Thank you for being here. Hey, what are you? What are you?

I love Jason Hoffman. Straight up. That dude's a mother, that's the motherfucking man. Well, thank you for being a member of the game. Shout out Jason and Ronnie and their son Jason Daniel. You guys are the best. No. Ronnie's a woman. That's a lovely lady and they're in Minnesota. I'll see you guys in Minneapolis. All right. Thank you for fast forwarding through that. We're back.

They didn't fat there. They want to be part of it. Patreon.com. So Robert. Well those 11 didn't. Uh, the other 100 did. We uh, Joe, I just want to thank you for your handwritten invitation to your special. No, I actually, I was, what? Joe, take a calligraphy class.

I'm so glad to say that you motherfucker. I definitely did it with a quilt pen. It was unbelievable. Joe, a cool pen. Three month calligraphy class. It was unbelievable. I've never seen a D-dun in cursive that well. Oh man. Well, that well. Oh, man

Well, how was the party Sunday sick? What party your party? You had a party at your house You said oh that was joking these are all jokes. No, that was a real party damn it. Come on. You could help me Yeah, I wasn't I wasn't there with those real party then what I got invited with this real party It was a good together i was a lot of i'm i'm i'm dead as i'm no longer literally i'm i'm i'm questioning my friendship with him i promoted his wife on my fucking on my my instagram there's three thousand people like i love

yeah i brought him and his wife to skankfest thousands of dollars across us to make this shit happen fuck you job well you hired no for my service no I'm bringing him and his wife to Skankfest thousands of dollars across us to make this shit happen. Fuck you, Joe. Well, you hired no for my service. No, I don't think you hired me. I like Lewis. I like Lewis turning a booking into a personal thing. You're going, no, no, I did it for the company.

I did it for the company in Houston. I thought I thought the pie the way joke. I thought the party was a funny joke. I was like, I'll see. He's joked up. Skankfest.net ticket still available for Skankfest South. Very few. I mean, very Friday individual Friday passes. There's a head and a fucking banger. What? There's some special guests in the web that I heard about. That are websites. Unbelievable. Don't make. Yeah. All right, but text him. You make hand gestures. Look at you. Look at that. Look at that. What a lineup.

I wait. Let's see what Joe is on this. Oh, right there. If I'm and I mean this, I'm texting them to cover Joe's face right now. Wait, where am I? Sarah's not I'm not even on this. I'm in the bottom corner. Oh, they're in a fish. I'm right next to salad. I'm next to any pepper tone. I like it. Yeah, we got to go. Oh, look at all the skanks together with you got skinny Adrian photo, huh? Yeah Who would they take to the top of a skyscraper? You got any letterman 2008 There's Joe list. I don't like our skinny confidence. Yeah Okay, look at look at Norton looks like he's getting sucked off by somebody dude

Amiko looks like something you see when you wake up in a bathroom the lineup is the lineup is batchet dude It's a norin Tom Green's gonna be there Shane. Shane Gillis, Schultz, Nate Bargazzi, obviously all these fucking examples. What are we going to do at night, though? What it? Drug. Suckin' in fucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in,

sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, sucking in, Sucking and fucking and fucking and fucking and fucking and why does the honors look so happy to be next year wife Joe? Where like this up at the top? Who's to the other side of Sarah? Who is that? That's Brian Redman. Oh, I don't know Redman. Good dude. Oh Redman is a great guy. Really good guy Yeah, kill Tony's gonna be there. De Polo's coming out for the first time. Andrew Wow. He knows coming out for the first San Tino's the man South North. No, no, no, no, Norton's coming. common. What about Voss? Voss. That's gonna be there.

Go down a little. We're gonna lose the next. You didn't even gotta go see, uh, Chris, the kids, you just come to Can't Chris. What about this? No, gold, Chris, we have eight tickets left in Grammacy.

That's awesome. But they keep, we sold out, then they release tickets, and then we said, and then they read, why are they doing production? The number of seats dumb like that, because they want it, they raise the prices as those, let's take

it's available. That's shitty. That's a happy shame looks looks in this picture. Look how that is right when you got us now. Yeah. I don't know. It's a shot. They go. Now you're canceling us. Oh, hell no. Where's shame? Oh, right. Under the rose. Yeah. And then look at sholts is just looking off onto a lake. Sholts is looking at his money. Look, I'm talking so much. Tim Dylan always look at these about to have a hard attack on stage. Hillary Clinton would have never what that though. You believe in aliens good for you. We're gonna have to do a fucking go fund me for him someday. Your gravy tickets guys. Skankfest.net three full days of

party. I know that. Non-stop. I mean, dude, any Peppaton, Tim Dillon, Jessica Kiersten. It's nuts. Fucking Jeremiah Washington. It's gonna be fun. It's nuts. The lineup is, there's not, I know they just released the Netflix as a joke. Line up. I'm on that too.

Fucking batch it as well. That shit's, big J's post was hilarious because he put the poster out and then circled it at the bottom with all the arrows going. Cause it was like, he's such a cocky son of a bitch. So I said, yeah, Jay, where do you think you are on the list of Chris Rock? A whole burger. It's just like, yeah, that entire everyone's above you. Yes. I have been I've been 12 point hell, Vedica on every. Here. Every festival.

You're about to rip fucking festival posters is one of my favorite things. I remember he knows the what font he's in. Oh, yeah, I've been 12. I'm 12 point hell, Vedic, a bob. Anytime, I'm always. I honestly, and then they, and then 15 years ago, it made sense. That's you like 16 point hell, Vedic, a monkey. I should at least be, I should at least be like, like bold. Yeah.

I have a bold. Yeah, dude, I don't even, I saw that Netflix special. I didn't even, I knew where I was on that. You mean, and that's not even alphabetical. You had to go good. That's, somebody went, no, he goes here. You had to get your readers on. Where is the Netflix special?

That, it's a festival. In Los Angeles. Netflix is a joke. It's one of the different venues in Los Angeles. But I still think that every college festival is great, but every comedy festival is like that, where you have to buy a ticket for the, get it spent $100 to go see Bill Burt, this venue,

$200 to go see Chris work in this venue. That's not what Skankfest says. Skankfest is one venue, one party, three full day straight from noontal to a.m. Every night, every once together, the fans, the comics, it's it's not charging different prices for bigger shows. Nope. There's one. Are you going to do that some?

Never. Never Skankfest is one venue, one party. You come to Skankfest or you're not at skankfest It's not fucking we do we had comics that we're like yeah, I'll do it. I got to get 80% of the door We got to do a certain venue like well, you're not gonna do skankfest because that's not what this is Socialism no, it's not socialism. I mean Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie I love sex fresh. It's the place to go. I was supposed no other. Most of all, most of our Gomez is taking the top 1% and spending it on baby James.

Baby James. Baby James. He does limp wrist pointing. There's new toys. And I go over there. And over there. And there's only one show in the middle. And that's what all you want. You look like a puppet when you do.

Right. Right. Look at a puppet. Where is it? I don't know. What is that? I'm a stand tall. Of course you are because you're neutral, Dan.

No, I'm actually taking a side. You're fucking wrong. You look like a puppet, you puppet bitch. Was there a reinforced string? He's like, he's like bridge cables. He's here breaking. You know when you're Comedy workshop you guys

We're fucking learning You do got him comedy jam this year. I don't know. I don't know if I'm asked, I'll do it. If I'm asking you, it's my festival. All right. It'd be awesome. Yeah, I do it. They're doing it three full days. I'm playing drums. I'm singing.

I'm playing guitar. I'm doing a song. Are you doing a song? I want to do a song. Oh, Joe. I ripped it at the Joker's cruise. You think I ripped it at my party on Sunday. You should have heard me.

We had a karaoke machine. DJ. It was great. I was quiet ripped it at my party on Sunday. You should have heard me. We had a karaoke machine. DJ was great. I was quiet. I was quiet, get together. I went around the room and told everyone how much I loved them. It was pretty cool. I wasn't there. I don't know.

There was love. A lot of it. Lots of love. Wow. Well, maybe someday. Someday when I'm awfully low. I think this is a thing the world is cool. This is even he had a football party.

I didn't get invited to. He went with the ball party. Joe, Joe, I think the reality is, I think he even he had a football party I didn't get invited to. And with that, funny. Joe, Joe, I think the reality is, I think he wants to disassociate with me because I'm becoming a sort of like a white supremacist. I get that. Or something. I understand that.

But why in the corner of your mouth right now? Is that cut? That's called weed mouth. No, you're good. You're good now. Somebody who talks a lot but doesn't have the saliva to do. You got to do it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're gonna eat it. Yeah. Well, guys, how are you? Somebody who talks a lot but doesn't have the saliva to do Yeah, yeah

You're gonna eat it. Yeah, well guys. How are you white supremacists leader when you're Puerto Rican? I don't know dude. I say that every day What a wake up state. Yeah, well how I call me white supremacist. Oh, yeah, I do I have so much space I'm gonna see you know what I do try to further the white right? I think they claim with let you in I eat yeah 100% Re-subscription gas digital. There's what we're gonna do you guys really like grand wizard We're going this you go. Yeah real as dude. No more hoods. We have hoodies. Yeah, they zip down the front that way We can take the train you know look like a fucking asshole shit

He would he would bring the clan to another Lewis J Duke we gotta do a podcast called the dragons Why are you not drinking milk about this? Because I take white supremacy very seriously. Wow. But just in the wrong way. So. So.

All right, well, listen, Joe, I'm glad you're special. Went great. Thank you. Yeah, it was great. Do we want to talk about how it went? It was really great. All right, let's talk about how it went. Yeah, it was really fun and great and

It's been marred today by your self-centeredness. I don't know But what has been bill marred? It was the rules Mars bar new rules. Don't invite a friend You have to really know how done again in perfect. It's perfect. It's the fucking funniest thing Kyle done against Kyle done against them is incredible. Why is he not on television on snl? Why is he? Yeah, some why is Kyle Dunnigan not being picked up? He did have a TV. I think they were working. That's something for him for a little while. It should be right now. I don't why is it takes so fucking long? It's kind of I mean the last one is Bill Mar being gang banged by a bunch of celebrities. Dude the funniest one was the Michael Jackson when he died and he goes, no, I'm not up in heavy. I touched those kids. Did Trump do Trump and what's the little girl from Sweden?

Oh, Greta Thumberg. He's telling her that she's going to be hotter. It's like, yeah, you're like a four. You can be a sex. I like one with the, with what's his name, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the transexual. Oh, Caitlin Jenner. Caitlin Jenner and the girls. Because of him, because of Kyle Dunnington's impression, every, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the at in Instagram is when he's doing that character. He does the geth what chicken butt.

It's the third time. Why do you keep doing that? It goes geth what chicken butt and what he puts his mom in the middle of the night. So hardest I've laughed at Instagram. It's so funny. So hard so there's probably the funniest Instagram out there. Yeah, probably. And I can't believe he's not.

We're trying to get him at Skankfest. We're trying to work it out right now to do. He's living with those characters. Oh, is he? Yeah. And I think it was working on the stirring show or something What yeah, he's working on Schumer. Yeah, it's on L.A. He was working on Schumer show. Wow fucking he's really funny. She has a show coming out I think I blew what's it gonna be? Oh Inside him she got a new show that was coming. She has a new show. Yeah, he was working what's it called You're the laugh button. No say you should know the news

So anyways, how was your special great? What was the best part? What was the favorite part all of his friends over there? He just felt all the love in the room people that he knew loved and trusted being able to really make icon tackle people that he really He actually said a couple of names during this special taping which I thought was on professional love in the room, people that he knew, loved, and trusted. Being able to really make icon attack with people that he really, he actually said a couple of names during this special taping, which I thought was on professional. Yeah, I showed a few people. Very nice. Yeah. He should only thank me and Bobby now in the liner. What's up?

Great. Did the, what did the both go great? It was the first show was amazing. Was one of the best shows of my life. Really? The second show was really great. So what do you think I used the first one? Probably the first show. I was the first. I was at the first one. He fucking murdered. Thank you. There's great. How much time did you do?

I don't know 55 is you did over now 50 to no it was less than now. I was like 50 something 50 something why I'm asking him I'm not fucking answer for him. You know what it was an over an hour This is why you're not good friends of them because you don't know what you're like. I'm trying to fucking Joe likes to be protected. And I'm protecting him. I'm asking him how much time he did when I got invited to a special. He said, I need you there to protect me. I said, I'll do it. I invited nobody. So, so you, you're going to use the first hour. Yes. It was awesome. It was very good. I'm very excited. That's great. What it was proud of. Where is it coming out? Do you have any plans on that? Or are you going

to sell it? It's coming out on the white guy network, also known as YouTube. Oh, you're just going to release it for free. Well, we're going to try to, yeah, yeah, wait, you know, it's a tough, these are hard times. Let's sell it. Well, we'll try to sell it to come to the central digital, I think, but I don't think Netflix is said they're not buying people of my ilk. What does that mean? Netflix said no white guys till 2022. Who said that?

It's people in Netflix. That's a lie. I've heard it. You've heard it. No white guys. I've heard they're not interested in white. I think they want famous people. Famous people.

Okay. So, but famous people or woke young women and browns Yeah Cleveland that was the other The world is all the like cattle yeah, like browns. Those are browns Hey, so but there's so many options. I actually have an interesting option. I'll talk to you off air about okay They you might be oh to Vimea no I'll talk to you off air about okay, then you might be able to Vimeo no No

It's dude. What if I got you on Quibi? What if you tube you the way to go and then might it might actually get you in a something else I'm listening Dennis Leary yes, PBS dude. Well, I mean off air What if I can burns direct your special did six hours don't give it away Joe try to try to sell it You're our I would I was away. It seems like the way to go. Sam has a million hits over a million. What does it mean? No, I mean, what does a million, what does a million hits mean? A million doesn't mean nobody knows who the fuck he is.

Yeah. I don't, I think my, go outside and ask five people. The first, well, I'm not saying he's famous, but he's got a million hits. Nobody knows who any of us. I did. There was a lot of essentials page. It wasn't just on his own. Well, we're going gonna try to sell it. Well, listen, so what I would say is I think you should do a combination. So I understand the whole giving away this.

Am I paying out that you need to spend $80,000 on a special anymore? I think you could do it really low budget, the video side of it. Use that as clips with the fucking, you know, for promotion. And then sell the album version of it with extended cuts. You do like an extra 10 minutes that's only on the album that you're gonna buy. Everyone that's gonna support, is gonna support you. You could use those clips to actually sell the album

and it's something that's fairly special and use all those clips to go and promote yourself the same way, Shultz or Tim, or any of these guys do. That's how I would do it. That's what we did. I mean, it's an album. We recorded an album and we shot it. I think you should,

my opinion is your hour that I've seen over the last couple of years, you should try to sell that because that's what we are going to. That's worth money. That's your last thing. Should be like here. Take this because no matter how many views it is, you're going to wind up on YouTube. Well, it depends on how much it'll bought Sam's. He got paid and has a million hits. That's a pretty ideal situation. That's it. He got his money back and then he made. And now he has a million people watching it and going. The problem is you don't have millions a lot. Yeah. Well, millions and not a lot really for the internet. It's not like a crazy amount. I mean, I think that you need an order that that's a really the reason

for fucking sort of sell out the ears because he had like 50 million views on those clips. Well, not a million in three weeks. So he might have 50 maybe I don't maybe I just don't know that I had a Netflix special that We're saying we don't like Sam We do like you that's what trying to say. I appreciate so stop We're saying we like you. Thank you. I'll do what I can with it. It's more than just the views you get though Yeah, like you need more of a social media thing to make that actually Transit ticket sales. Yeah, so

How many central puts more marketing into SAMs especially actually spend money to get people to view it. It's not like it's just organically got a million views. It's a little different. So when Shultz goes like, dude, all you gotta do is put a thing on YouTube. It's like, okay, well, yeah, Shultz, you're famous and you do a radio show with a really famous person.

When you put something on YouTube, it fucking blows up. But 99% of the comics that are throwing something on YouTube get 100 views on their fucking clips. It is nothing to up. But 99% of the comics that are throwing something on YouTube get a hundred views on their fucking clips. It is nothing to do. YouTube is on a new platform that fucking is a, you know, a deal maker, a deal breaker. You have to be really talented. You have to understand how to market yourself hands on a hit radio show and he's on a hit TV

show. Still can't sell a ticket. Nobody knows who he is. You're right. By the way, I added show Denver comedy works tomorrow night. That's weird. Why would they add a show? Now what? I just sold out all five. So if you're in Denver comedy works tomorrow night. That's weird. Why would they add a show? I sold out all five so if you're in Denver look at look at insecure Dan is like we're joking Obviously, and he's got a fuck also I'm gonna add a seventh

Here's the problem out of seven shows for people that and it's gonna be a private meeting Here's a problem with you two. I gotta take fat jokes about being a fucking marrying a fat puppy. Are you really not gonna want to joke about you? I don't have the fucking butt! Are you recording me? I'm not gonna let you. I'm not gonna let you. You got nothing on you, boy. Oh.

Oh. You get literally breakdance. Finger. What? I bet you're fucking fat. I'm a... Oh, finger fight, finger fight. What do you fucking... Whoever breaks those. He's got nails. That's right. Yeah. Oh Fingerfight finger fight

Whoever breaks those nails So I have fucking weapons Come on stay stand there We I feel like it's gonna smack my coffee in my face I'm gonna be furious Yeah, you got hard fingers boy Yeah, but this even thing will fucking fall. See, we say you can't sound ticket. We're joking. We

call Bobby. We're like, Bobby, you're almost dead. You're so fat. Ha. Yeah. That's all hilarious. We leave it because I really can't go. I can't go. That's not true. Yeah. There you go. That's not true. Then you take off makeup and I go, you've been fucking smoking hot this whole time. I've been 60 bomb. I've been sheds, Kelly, for five years. I do it. Those lips don't go away.

Well, all right. There you go. We've learned a lot today on the show. A lot, I think, right? Joe special. So when do you think we could see it, Joe? I don't know. We got to edit it and stuff and all that shit.

I don't know. I don't know how it works. Everyone tries to explain stuff right after you shoot it. I'm like, I don't even. We got to edit it and stuff and all that shit. I don't know. I don't know how it works. Everyone tries to explain stuff right after you shoot it. I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Who's editing it? I don't even know. Louis, directly by himself. You should have him.

That would be great. He's great editor. He's got his own business going on, you know. What's he doing? He's doing spots in Israel. Who cares about that? He's such a funny way of saying that. He's doing fucking fucking studio down his basement. He used to edit a television show on. He can't edit your fucking 48 minutes.

No, I got someone editing. I got a whole team. I got a whole thing going on, everybody. Is it a team that you invite to a party? No, I keep my business separate. Like this is business. Oh, oh, oh, invite to parties? No, I keep my business separate. Like this is business. Oh, business podcast.

All right, well speaking of business, do you have any plugs you want to plug? Yes, I got lots of plugs. I got a new podcast called Mindful Metal Jacket on this network, which I appreciate. I say something. Thank you. Didn't even ask me about trying to give my counteroffer to that deal. Nothing. Well, if there was a deal with Joe's podcast, I want to say something. Would have given him a way, but I? Did you even ask me about trying to give him a counteroffer to that deal? Nothing. Well, if there was a deal with Joe's money,

I would have say something. Would have given him away, but I know. You're out of your mind. Guaranteed. Should we give him a base? He would have started making money just to show up. It's literally just to show up. Exhausting being with that.

We actually already have advertising. I already have advertising before you. I believe, right? I've got the thing in the mail. Well, if you're with us, I'd have three advertisers on your show this week. Right now, I have an advertising company that I have. We have advertising for Joe's. Yeah, but if you're with us, I'd have three advertisers on your show this week. Right now I have an advertising company that we have advertising for Joe's.

Yeah, his show is, I mean, I mean, it's fucking taken off. I mean, it's really the reviews are very good. People loving you. Stop. Thank you. Loving it. Terrible. Good job. Great stuff.

I'd like to have you on. Listen to good. I would like to have God. I believe you on the show on the gas digital. Yeah, everybody wants to listen to God for your fucking sex have a couple of you on the show on the desk. I want to go out for a fucking sex hours. It's a six hour show. Six hours.

The God for a sex hour. It's a six hour. It's just him making sex. He does nine characters. But the show is going well. I don't know how it works. I don't know how anything works, but I've got a lot of really nice reviews that are touching and people have been listening to it.

We know how it works and you're doing great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Very happy for having me. It's called My Flemish Jacket. And of course Tuesdays with stories every week. And I'll be at Skankfest. Last time he'll ever be at a Skankfest.

Oh, thank Christ. Very stressful. I'll say. And I don't know what else. I don't know. Comedian Joe Liss. You have any dates? I don't know. You guys I don't know. Committee and Joe list. You have any dates? I don't know.

You guys have beaten me down. All right. I'm just unenjoyable. Good. I hope you have. I hope you have. I'm not mindful mental. Now you know we feel in Tuesday's with stories.

Dan speaking of plugs. Just want to say soon to be hair plugs. Are you talking about not receiving that bad? No, not at all. A little bit. I'm not receiving this. As a guy who receded quick. How, when did you lose yours?

30 something, 35. 30 something. I already beat it. I already beat it. I'm not. No, but wait. I shaved pre. I didn't have to shave for five more years,

six more years. I did, I was like, look, I was like, I'm gonna shave now so that people will know me like this. Instead of, I don't wanna be Tom Poppin' have to wear a dumb hat all the time. That's cool. Yeah. And you wear dumb hats.

You're a dumb hat. You have a dumb hat sitting in front of you. Yeah, you're dumb hat. I have another dumb hat sitting in front of me too. Oh, yeah. I can't make that joke again. I can't, I tried twice. I just wanna thank Joe Lister for inviting me

to a special. I had such a good time. Listen to the Bond Fire Monday, two Thursday, six, eight PM on serious XM. Who's on that with you? Big J. Oakridge. Oh, okay. He's funny.

I heard very funny, very funny. Um, I'll be a fan. Is he getting thin? He is getting thin. I'll be a skank, if I'm self. Is he going to be okay, thin? We'll see. Is a thin J going to be as fun as a J.

Then J. Oakridge, and it comes off the tongue. It's like big fun as a J. Then J. Okay, so it comes off the tongue. It's like the game. Then J. Then J. Maybe then J. We're gonna start calling them then J. Then J sounds like a Vietnamese guy, you know, what's all the sweatshirts you guys have been wearing?

Lewis J Gomez has a wonderful printing press at cast digital.com. No, we do too. It's called remember to be happy.com. Yeah, she steals all my clients. Uh, dance, dance, show to dot com. Fucking great. She writes, she steals all my clients. Uh, daintsjotard.com. Fucking great. She writes the name of the podcast in a font that you're t-shirt. Guys, I need help selling tickets.

I'm coming to Madness. Fucking sick of every, like literally I do things better than everybody and I have to fucking watch these assholes rip up my ass right now. It's like, it's like happening to network. I got sick having a network. Yeah, I'm like, it's the next fucking level, Bobby. I'm not a part of everything you did. I got Madison coming up I got you think gladdest is apartment

No, I'm actually in a fucking two studios that I L.A. Providence wrote island at dance soda if you took everything a morning Cuck suckers dance soda dot com Not a rich is kids ruin on this fuck us dance soda dot com For live day billions May 3rd May 3rd is coming out now. I heard you got killed off. Yes Really? No Pull Joe's on tilt I never see really

You know, I love the show and it's such a I can't see in this year and I have a feeling and you can nod your head You don't have to say I've got a feeling I have a feeling that the two guys the two leads are gonna be joined up again to fight Why don't I get my billion swag? What do you want? I want something dude? I promoted you shit. I want something in return for it. Yeah, I want something Wow Dude, I promoted you shit. I want something in return for it. Yeah, I want something. Huh? Wow Wow Don't give me a clue. What if it's nudes of some I would love if you went into my backpack and got the gift you got me and gave me I don't want a cozy

It's got a nice bum. This is dead air. We got to throw something out there. No, you don't I get it. Oh, yeah, let me do my plugs while he gets you your president. Yeah, skankfest.net guys. Grab your skankfest self happening. This March 27th to 29th Houston, Texas Secret Group. Everybody here is going to be there. Everybody fuck everybody. Anybody who's anybody in comedy will be at skankfest. Go grab your tickets.

Check out my other pods available on gassage on network.com. Believe me with this thing, Legion of Skanks and realize podcasts. I mean, Kurt Metzger currently on tour, the This Should and Well tour. Lots more dates coming up. I'm taking a little bit of break up until Skankfest,

but starting in April will be out in Boston, Sacramento, San Francisco, Vegas, off the NX. Lots more dates being added. Look out Denver, look out Chicago. How's that been going? Been going great. I actually we bumped into each other in Cleveland.

That was fun, man. That was great. And then he took off, keep my mouth shut. Oh sorry, he took off and went back to the hotel. We stayed in that awesome hotel. Well, the one across the street from the hilarities. I love that with the old mall. Yeah, I was at the Winchester.

You were at hilarities for one night. Winchester is fucking great. Next time you, I mean, the Winchester's a rock club and it's fucking the shit dope. Yeah, it's dope The latest was cool. That was a cool place. There it is go, but I like that. I like that dirty fucking stage with a Persian rug and Rock and roll. Yeah, fucking rock and sex and jugs and rock and roll Check that out. That's on FX stock. What do I got? Well this weekend if you're watching live

You'll be at comics roadhouse and he can he can son. Yeah, with Greg Stone. Awesome. Yeah, I'm going to run off stage and go, yeah, fuck you. You do 25 minutes. Try headline and you rock. So I can't, man. I remember calling you from the parking lot of Target in Kansas City when I was at Sanford and Sons. And you go, and I got to do the sucks and you go you want it to be a headline. Yeah, and this is what it is. This is it hot walks through a target park. That was like a 20 minute walk. Then you're gonna have the turning stone casino with kids. Cramps at the end are right after that. That's what we're gonna be there. Yeah, you've got a lot of a South by South. Yeah, read it. South by Southwest West.

You got Moon Tower, Skankfest South. Yeah. Why can't it be these going to be there also Netflix? Yeah. Yeah. Why can't it be the Skankfest one? We do it live. Last year, we could only show it to people on the Patreon.

After what happened there is a really wild show. Yeah, why? So you don't want to miss out on anything on that. Yeah. And our Krebs for Kids is back. Krebs for Kids. We're doing Tampa. We're doing Georgia.

We just booked DC. We're in Lanark City. We're at New York, the Packet Tukutuku Theater. Packet Tukutuku. So the Packet Tukutuku tribe. It's a great tribe. They're very fun people. Packet Tukutuku.

Yeah, Packet Tukutuku. It's mostly Chubby women. Yeah. There's two guys and mostly chubby women. Yeah. There's two guys and 38 chubby women. The whole tribe. Our tribe is very insulated. Yes. For when the winter nights come, the

squas cover us like blankets. We do not have TPs. We have women. Great. The great white chief comes from the South to take more women. I have to shit so bad. I have a headache. Follow Bobbi at Robert Kelly live on Instagram, follow the podcast at

Waikidwedeod podcast follow Gabby at Gabby is Brian and follow Mike at Mike V Suarez. Man, what do you got? Gab's I'm a podcast called unabashed podcast. I have a show first Tuesday of every month at the stand. And I'm going to be in LA first week of April. And I have a show at the Comedy Store April 6th in the belly room, come to that.

All right, you hear me on Instagram, as well. What? Yeah, you know that. I'm kidding. I'll be at Skengfist South. I don't have anything else in tooling, actually. So yeah. Chris, are you the worst?

Not that Chinese, the H-E-N.E.Y. on Instagram. And it designs. Yeah, I did Bobby's March. Yep. Bye. Bye. That go. Oh, shit. That's a great looking cough.

I got to pay. Alright, guys, Zach, what do you got? See you guys next week. Best fans of the world. Do you know what, dude? You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.