Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 6 Takes the Train
Episode Date: September 25, 2017This week on YKWD: Robert welcomes to the show Andrew Schulz, Lenny Marcus and Jim Florentine. The conversation covers everything from pitching shows and modern television to girls to die for. We talk... about Jim's new upcoming tour (with a hilarious title) and Andrew's new 441 comedy experience on YouTube. To end it all, Lenny talks about his new show soon to be on the RiotCast Network. This is an episode not to be missed dudes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com.
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth.
This is gonna be a claustrophic.
It's podcast, no rules.
I'm not gonna to the mic asshole.
I'm sure I've already said should I regret it.
Can I get a mic or who?
Oh, what the fuck?
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down,
and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's sad.
No topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin!
That's how it all holds the stars you love apart.
I don't want to do anything.
My podcast is popular.
I might affect something's like...
You never know.
You think so? You know what?
You know what?
You've passed UnwiredCast.com.
Yeah.
If you have headphones, you need to go up a little bit.
Let me know.
If you know.
Let me know.
All right.
We should have did this before we went on the air.
You don't want to mean like boy, you're sitting here for 20 minutes. What's that? You know checking with the headphones to the volume. Yeah,
I like to do it on the air. I like to see it behind the scenes a little make it dirty. I like it dirty.
The fuck, I'm sorry, I'm dead. You're fucking rascals. Fucking cuck's up.
There you go. I think you know everything about me uh... yet we are here learn is fucking uh... sick
with uh... davis mithaids
uh...
i don't know if she's got
she's uh... she's feeling sick
she's got the flu
which i didn't know you could get the flu in september i guess
you know you flew is like a i will start it flew as... February. Yeah, like...
Yeah, it's like January February.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, it could still be around, I mean, it's germ, so.
Yeah.
Am I not even me to flew?
What do you think it is?
It's, you know, you could just be fucking sick.
Gastigial, bro.
And people say it's to float.
Gastigial's, uh, staking their claim, I think.
On Lauren?
Yeah, I think they're trying to take little pieces away.
You know, what's this guy's name?
He'll be working over there soon. They're gonna
Zach, is that Zach Zach you going over there?
Never what how do you like that now? You fucking trouble maker. I'm wrong. Sorry. You really like to just cause trouble
I don't in the house Andrew
Shultz now how do you say your last name people right? Yeah, but some people say different Yeah, they're his sholes, right? Yeah, why sholes?
Why is that?
No T.
Sholes, it's sholes.
It's sholes, because I guess in Germany,
the Z is like a TZ sound.
Right.
But you know, we're in America,
so I'm fine with you pronouncing it sholes.
Right, sure.
I really don't go for it.
This only became a thing with like the internet.
Is it?
Yeah, because before that,
it didn't really matter how your name was spelled, right?
It's just like, it's like you're looking anybody's name up
But now you Google now you Twitter now you see it. Oh, you see it. It's all over the fuck exactly
So I know this I would have put a T in there right why don't we put it now?
Hey, you know sure one for two. Let's put three T's three T's maybe the way
Shirts to set I back on the show last time you on the show, this fucking guy.
What happened?
How you know what happened?
I don't remember what happened.
You fucking fucked up.
Was this with the guys?
With the guys.
And you made me text Captain America.
Oh, did he ever text you back?
Yeah, he did.
What did he say?
I fucked it up again.
Because I wasn't there. Yes. So I do this thing about Jim Florence in the house who you have never you've never been on right you never invited me
Really yeah, why would that be the case?
Rumors what was a rumor? I'm not saying well you could say I invited you twice a mind. I don't even have comics on
Well, that's a disc. I did I, what did I not?
No, I'm just fucking around.
No, usually I got my kid these nights,
so it's tough for me to do it, but you know.
I've invited you on my show before you said no
to me a bunch of times.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, that's why.
Yeah, that's why I got my own podcast on my cast.
Why do I gotta do Roberts?
That's true, I fucking, you know what I mean?
Like, is that doing mine?
Yeah, yeah.
So second doing people's podcast, but you're doing my pot. No, it's like doing shitty rooms in LA. Hey dude, you show up for LA to fucking hang out because you got a nice
Parton something and then I'll be sitting around every fucking
Shit room at a donut shop with fucking five people that are we're big fans are yeah?
Is there a room that's bad for comedy and
Yeah, is there a room that's bad for comedy and just in general like any room people will make
Into a comedy show. I mean, I've done them all and I think that
If you go in and you do well
You you don't give a shit. Yeah, if you do shit, you're like why would anybody do a comedy show and I
Launch remat. Yeah, but if you do good, you're like, I'm fucking great.
I can do comedy.
If I did comedy at a library,
remember the library one they had down here?
Over and so how?
No.
Jim, who's a Joe DeRosa?
Joe E. Roses called me up.
Do you wanna do my show at the library?
It was a fucking library.
I thought it was the name of the gig.
It was a fucking book everywhere.
You know what I'm timidating is me to do my acting
for the books.
Yeah.
Isn't there one at a barber shop too?
Yeah, they get to shows anywhere.
I know in a city somewhere.
Yeah.
But if you do, if you do well in a shitty room, I don't know what that means.
That means, you know what I mean?
Like you just,
It just means you're funny.
You know, I guess, right?
I don't know.
If you're doing like a, you know, a shitty bar show, it's just like you're kind of like catering the audience like if they get it and you just kind of fucking
Are you panning down you kind of pandering to them just to just to get through it?
Is it weird that like I don't know? I don't know
I mean as someone's a few old when I say when I say these things, but like I never really
Dreamed to do comedy in these types of places when I was coming up like I just want to do clubs
You out but you know no, but I'd say I did I never dream to do comedy in these types of places when I was coming up, like, I just wanted to do clubs. You out, machino.
No, but I did.
I never dreamed to do comedy in these places.
I've been saying, like, it was, I mean, it's cool.
I think that people are putting comedy shows
wherever they can to get saved on the center.
But I was never like, oh, man, I can't wait to perform.
And the, I think it's, I think it was, it's a,
it's a new guy thing.
It's not, but I think that,
that's what alternative comic came from,
is where alternative venues,
we talked about before, it's not that they're doing
any different comedy, it's that they can't do comedy
at the comedy seller.
Right.
So they were like, all right,
let's just go to this fucking muffin shop, my friend.
I love it.
You know, and they do a stage and people go up and do it.
I don't know. I've done some weird shows. Yeah, and it, you know, and yeah, and they do a stage and people go up and do it. I don't know I've done somewhere it was weird shows. Yeah, yeah, then we started it was VFW Halls firehouses
Yeah, and also sports bars and strip clubs. It was strip clubs. We did comedy. I did the bill me Patrice bur and Dane
Used to do five minute spots at the work in 99s and we got paid and cheese and crackers. What's that?
It's just a shit bar chain.
Right, right.
You know what they have, you know,
they have a dart bar.
We just play darts.
Yeah.
Well, we're waiting to go on.
Get cheese and crackers.
There was a stage.
It was like three feet by three feet by three feet.
Like you had to like help each other up
onto those fucking stages ridiculous.
And there was just like five drunk motherfuckers at a bar.
Yeah. Yeah.
The bar tend to hated you. One time I did this biker bar down on South Jersey. And I got in there.
And I'm like, where's the stage? Like, no, it's over there. And I was just playing pool.
And I'm like, what do you talk? I go, after the pool games over, we put a police's plywood on top
of a pool table. I stood on top of a pool table. And that was the stage. And for like 20 bikers.
And I wasn't going to bitch because a biker owned the bar.
So like, all right, that's fine.
And then I climbed up on top of the pool table.
Jesus Christ.
I did a biker bar in, in Maine.
And the stage was at the door with the doors to the right of you.
Right.
So every time somebody would come in, it was just right, right here, like right there. Right. So you'd be like, I have that and the sum of the right of you. So every time somebody would come in, it was just right here,
like right there. So you'd be like, and some of the door would open, where's fucking Wendy?
Who's this fucking queer? And then, you know, and then, but I think that shit makes you stronger.
Way stronger, because these guys who are doing these, the shit rooms. I'm not saying these other rooms that are catered
where it's, you know.
Yeah, talking about the tough, the challenging ones.
I mean, some of these rooms that they go to,
they're catered to laugh.
They listen, they laugh.
They're like introspective and quiet.
There's an ideology to the room.
Good word.
You know what I'm saying, right?
Yes. We laugh at these types of things. Yes. And if you hit that button,
we will respond with laughter. Right. But if you have six people from North Dakota
that just happened to walk down to a basement at the village lantern, it's a
tougher room to get people together and laugh at. Yeah. Yeah. That's where we came
up. Yeah, Boston Comedy Club was a motherfucker. I remember it was a big deal.
That was a big deal when we got you to come
to do our show at the village lantern.
Oh, I remember that.
I was walking by.
Yeah, well, we asked you.
I think we might even book you where we had this show
we were doing to stretch out.
And we're like, yeah, I think Collice
kind of wrote you and to do it.
She did.
And I had to follow you and I ate my balls.
Ah, it was good, but it was good
It was really good. It was good. Yeah, it was one of those experiences where you know when you're going up with people that are kind of on your level
It's you know, it's not that hard to maybe follow or whatever
But it was one of those spirits were like I went up and I was like oh wow like there's another level
Yeah, of jokes I have to to get to yeah
That was like the Boston comedy club that was the same shit because you were following
Brewer, Chappelle and their prime.
Yeah.
Remember that shit?
Oh, yeah.
Dane, Louis CK, Tell was in there.
It was Brewer, you know, Keith.
Cav.
Cav.
Treas.
Yeah, that was one of the best.
You guys had like a great class.
That's a thing.
You guys had like a, you know,'s a thing. You guys had like a you know,
they talk about like draft classes and NBA like that class was exceptional because all of
those guys are around the same age, right? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty close. Yeah. But they that
was that that was a tough room. That Boston comedy club. Yeah. It was it was a comedy village
when I was when I first started. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I remember walking in and seeing J. More on stage just
fucking brutalizing the crowd. I mean
The fucking and then all of a sudden like you see brewer waiting to go on and you're like are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah, and then he'd go up and just fucking
you fucking kidding me. And then he'd go up and just fucking b****. And you're like, I don't even want to fucking go on. I
don't want to be I want to go home. I got killers. And there
was a comedy team called red Johnny the round guy. I was talking
with those today. They were on and with murder going
together. Go on together. There were comedy team and fucking
and the scar brothers. I think we're going to maybe a little
later. I put red Johnny the round guy with these two white
dudes with fucking murder. Go ahead. And the Sklar brothers I think we're going maybe a little later at bud red Johnny the round guy with these two white dudes
We're fucking murder
Go ahead red Johnny the round guy and the Sklar brothers
Yeah, why the fucking Sklar brothers never murdered no
Twins yeah, did you ever see
twins kill? Stop it Jim. The
Menendez brothers put them I'll take
the time. I'm saying, I think they're
they're good guys. They're funny, but
they weren't red Johnny and I'm talking
right. I'm talking they did well. Right.
But I'm talking I'm talking
fucking murder. Yeah, yeah.
You don't put, you don't put fucking the Skullar Brothers
with fucking brewer, Shepal, red-junking the round guy.
They would come in and like these guys would murder
and then they would go up and do something else.
Like something else.
What happened to these guys?
One, I don't know.
What happens every group?
One suicide? They were real. Just like the jerky boys, they don't know what happens every group one one suicide
They were like the jerky boys on they don't talk to each other
They realize they realize nobody's gonna nobody's writing a fucking sitcom with the
Shot in the round back. Yeah, two guys. I don't know they were fun. I mean Jesus. They made money colleges gigs
Yeah, back in the the late 90s. Yeah, boof. Dude they will make it fucking yeah
They hit the college circuit with their act and I mean back in the day 90s. Yeah. Boof. Dude, they will make it fucking. Yeah, they hit the college circle with their act.
I mean, back in the day, as a comic,
you can make sick cash ecologists.
Still now.
You, not us, we're fucking old men.
That's right, it's super gay.
Yeah, the sub you, you, you,
all the Instagram stories and shit make you.
But you're very, here's what's good about you.
Okay.
Is that you can get away with your act, because your act is sexual and very, you's what's good about you. Okay. Is that you can get away with your act,
because your act is sexual and very, you know,
alpha and, you know, confident and, you know,
you like, you know, I would say me, you know,
you talk about stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You, you can get away with that stuff
because these girls, they like you.
But if you go, it's creepy, you think,
well, if I go and I'm a chubby bald guy
talking about fucking get laid or whatever,
I remember once I made a show at a college
and I said, Faggy?
Not even Faggy, Faggy.
And I got cast out after the show.
By this girl, she was like,
you offended a lot of people.
And I was like, I go, wait a minute.
Was Dane here last week?
You're like, yeah. I was like, I go, wait a minute, was Dane here last week? You're like, yeah.
I was like, his last bit is you're a faggot.
Yeah, yeah.
And she's like, yeah, but when he says it,
I said, I said, Faggy.
Yeah.
She's like, it's different.
Now I hit that Tate.
It's fucking different, man.
It's different.
But it's weird because when those people
are in your environment, they react with laughter.
At the college, I might be weird for them, but they're at the seller, all the sudden,
they're laughing. That's not offended.
That's why, like, if you, like, if you go, I love when they say this is an R-rated
show, adults-only before my show.
That's like the nasty show on, you know, Montreal, they just put them in a
psychological fit.
They prefer it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a guy wearing dirty stuff.
And it's not even that dirty the nasty show is not disgusting
right now it's like fucking
you know deaf jam
it's just regular horseshit you know
Lenny Marcus is in the house
hey hello
sorry
Lenny's still you know
always something weird happening down
at the seller
Lenny's still trying to get over to
giant loss last night
what happened with the giants?
they got murdered again
they're always
seasons over kinda they're murdered. It's done. No, no, no. I mean, there's a long way
to go in the season. There's 14 games with gyms. What they say, erratically, right? They
suck and it doesn't look like it's going to get better. Really? Yep. And there was high
hopes to see that. That's why it's happening with the pants. They're still great. I know.
I really have the best. Oh, you know, yeah course I know. You're never mind. He suckers me in every time.
We're just talking about colleges and shit.
I want to get back to this before we get into this.
The last time I had fucking Andrew on my show, this fuck.
I tell him, Chris Evans.
I met at a comic come home, the actor, please.
Captain America.
We actually walked up.
You know, I'm like, dude, he gave me his number.
And I sent him a text that night and people don't text him.
It was like, it was like dating somebody.
It's like, dude, don't text him, wait.
I'm like, but I'm a guy.
I don't, I'm a, he's a guy.
I'm a, you're not trying to fuck.
He's like, so I sent him a nice meeting.
And I forgot to put you
So I never heard back from it because you can't send another text Why why two or two are gonna pop off is like
You can't in America, I'll forgive you what he's like he should have fucking thought this out and you know double check
Before he sent an out
His friend down the down the street could be. And the next day probably woke up,
not as buzzed, who's this?
Right?
And then so he's this, this, this motherfucker's on my show.
And he still have the text, what's I do?
I think I deleted it.
He busted his balls about this?
No, I think I gave him a like sound advice to reach out to.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I feel like this is good for you, Andrew. He said to me
I don't have to tell you because it was so painful. He said to me
Text him fuck you right now. What I go what's your advice? He goes
Then what you called on let's go some text them fuck you. That's what you need to do. I go here. Are you crazy?
I Hold on let's go some text them fuck you. That's what you need to do. I go here. Are you crazy? I
I'm not texting him. He's like if you want to talk to him again text them fuck you
Right now, please God tell you to text them only fuck
So this I mean you know look wait with it long after your first tax be this is months? Okay, all right. So it wasn't like the next day, like I'm returning it.
So all right.
So he goes, I'm looking,
but he's got so much confidence.
Yeah.
And so, you know, he's got charisma.
So I'm, you know, you listen to him.
So I did, I did.
What?
So I type, I type fuck you.
And then I type, but I hit sand.
He goes, now now wait 20 minutes
Right I'm like oh god, this is terrible. I mean not that I'm ever gonna have a chance
I know it's unreal. I know I'm not gonna have a chance for what Frank
Definitely not to be in the fucking infinity wars
fucking infinity wars. So.
So.
Money makes go by.
He looks and he goes text him, oh sorry, sorry, bro, wrong
number. How you doing?
I text him. Sorry, bro, wrong number. How you doing?
And I in nothing, we're nothing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I go home that night.
Dingling.
Hey, bro, oh cool, man, yeah, I go home that night Hey bro, oh cool man, lol laugh thought it was funny. How you doing?
And of course I took it too far again
You know, it's fucked up. You never told me that he right that he texted you what did you what until now that I find out I was right
Hold on what'd you right back the second time? Did you please tell me a double check that and at least I think I fucked it up
I don't I deleted can I get in the infinity was I
Dude hold on so wait, so he texts you back you guys have a little combo and everything is good
I can find I wish I could find it. I text them back
I text them back. I Text them back. It will you at almond Atlanta filming and I'm I got and I was like coming to Jeff. I'll know. Oh, here it is
I text him
It's painful. I love it so bad. I was feeling go go, just say it, just say it. I don't remember it totally, but it was,
like I texted him something about comics come home.
Yeah.
And then, but, and then I texted, I texted the lineup.
Yeah.
And he was like, wow, sounds like a killer lineup.
But I texted something like, something else about, about coming to see my I don't know
It's just like I confused the text. Yeah, so now it was like I would have to call him and say oh dude
I didn't mean that I meant this right. I just let it die. I let it die of a fine
I'm out. I'll never see him again
But you did have that conversation. He did remember you that's important. He knew who you were
He did which is important, but important. He knew who you were. He did, which is important.
But then I saw him at like Danes, I talked to him.
I told him that Danes partied.
Oh, you saw him again.
No, he was at Danes party for, you know, a-
But you saw him.
On Instagram.
I wasn't there.
I haven't talked to Dan in a while.
Oh.
Okay, so he's at Danes party.
So what happened?
Did he stalking this guy now?
You liked the picture?
I'm talking to him because he won't respond now.
No, I didn't like the picture. Let's call him. I'm talking to because he won't respond. No
I didn't like
Let's call him
Let's call him right now. I call him. Give me his
Give watch I end up in infinity worth. Yeah, give me his number. Yeah, no, you know, I call them. No
No, I'm not doing it. I'm call. I'll just call him. I'm like, Hey, I, what's up? This is this is Bobby's assistant. Yeah, I gotta watch the video.
I'm not my assistant. He won't watch the video. Hey, this is Bobby's assistant. Um, look, my sister doesn't talk like that.
Listen, it's a new. I'm just filling in. I'm filling in. Okay. Okay.
I'm covered with the character. Okay. Hey, boss. What is it?
Boss. I'm from Boston. First of all,. I'm a boss. I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss.
I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm or Jim calls, but this what happens, it goes, hey, how you doing buddy?
It's Bobby's assistant, sorry, it's been a while
since I've reached out.
I know we've reached out.
Just go with it.
I know we've been trying to get you on the podcast.
What, we haven't.
Can you let the live builds?
Let the live builds.
Okay, so I know it's been a while
we've been trying to get you on a podcast, Chrissy.
So Chrissy, Chrissy, you get, no you're running, you're running Chrissy. Chrissy, Chrissy, get Sean a pie crass Chrissy so Chrissy Chrissy
No, you're funny somebody Chrissy Chrissy I'm calling Chrissy Chrissy. Let's say Chris. Oh, sorry. Oh my friend Chris you're trying to steal Chrissy. I don't want to be his friend. You're trying to take
I don't like him
I'm using a nice guy. He seems like an Iarra guy. He's not my favorite Avenger, but nice guy. Oh my god
Capna favorite who's your favorite Avenger? I mean obviously come on
Oh, come on Robert down in junior
Why are you why did you just turn into a Yenta?
Junior is the greatest Avenger come on. That's a rubber down in junior. He's got the money. You know, you know, he likes diamonds
He's a diamond guy. Okay, but you you don't like Avengers to you. No
Like realize stuff. I don't know what do you mean? Yeah Jim
No, I like realize stuff. I don't know what do you mean?
Yeah, Jim.
Captain America, right?
I can't suspend disbelief.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
No, that's a good point.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't suspend disbelief and just go to suicide.
You can't enjoy it if you can't get into the world.
Right, but it's not making fun of it.
I just just doesn't work for me.
Like when I like that response because I'm not a big comic book guy but like Sometimes I feel that way about comedy you ever watch comedy and you're like like a bad bad comedy
It's like I know that this interaction is fake so I can't get behind this. Yeah, absolutely
So I'm with you on that. I have to be able to get into the show
Yeah, I am not not paying attention. I'm trying to get look
I would just call this guy hey robber. This is Bob Kelly's assistant if you're ever in New York
He'd love you to do his podcast.
If you want to check it out, it's on riotcast.com, but you can only listen to the last 15s
for you.
Because he's got to pay wall that nobody pays for.
I'm going to say, but not this episode.
I know.
These thoughts have been brought to you by Kevin Brennan.
I think you have to tell him.
I think you call him.
I'm not calling.
I call him and I just say this.
I say Christopher.
I go Christopher.
I thought he was Chrissy.
You start a Christopher.
Listen, we meet you get you on the podcast.
Bobby's really sorry.
How about this?
Next time you're in New York.
You're too alpha for my assistant.
I need you to be a little more femme.
Okay, okay.
A little more in New York.
Okay.
Hello, Mr. What's his last name?
Can you be Chris for a second?
Just be Chris every time.
Answer the phone, ring.
Okay.
Yeah, who's this?
Hey, hey, this is.
What's wrong with your voice?
Oh, well, yeah, I just had a really, uh, I was bullied a lot
But so what I wanted to tell you is I'm Bobby's assistant and you know Bobby Kelly you guys had that little rendezvous and
At the comics come home you guys rendezvous
What do you remember the rendezvous which guy was a very handsome guy?
He's you know, he's great forms. It was like nine comics on that show
Oh, you would remember Bobby. He's just so charming and he's great forms. It was like nine comics on that show, though. Oh, you would remember Bobby.
He's just so charming and he's got hairless.
He's got alopecia.
He's both.
He's both.
Oh, the ball guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the ring guy to come up to you
after the show and one of my number, I really don't want
to give it, but he put me on a spot.
I gave me his number.
Yeah, yeah, that guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby can be like that.
Yeah.
Let us have it.
Let us have it.
Let me do it. I'm not going to be a minister. Bobby can be like that. It, yeah. Let us have it. Let us have it. I'm not gonna let you be.
Bob, he can be like that.
It's okay.
It's totally fine.
So we were wondering, I know, I remember Bob said something
about how you really wanted to get into podcasts
and we were definitely down to how you were.
You know, I was just making conversation with him.
He wouldn't leave me alone.
Okay.
Well now you've confirmed that you're into it.
I think it'd be good if we just have you on the Ryecast.
Mortis Ryecast.
Well, Ryecast is a podcast system with the whole.
I'm doing a hundred million dollar movie right now.
I don't know what Ryecast is.
100 million.
Well, you can afford the paywall.
How much is the paywall?
It's a billion.
Okay, a billion.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a billion dollar movie.
Yeah, how much is the paywall?
I'll pay that.
Okay, it makes a dollar, not an amount.
It's a dollar, not an amount.
That's a deal.
To not come. So you just, you can, that's you have a choice. You could pay a dollar nine a month. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait don't know. Yeah, maybe you'll come to New York next month Yeah, so that's good. How well can I talk with you leave your number? Can you bring can you bring the other superheroes with you?
Yeah, yeah, well to bring them all thanks. That's my assistant's voice
That's the way better. That's
That's the assistant's voice
Superhero
They brought all assistance Yeah, yeah,'d be like, oh, yeah.
So that's the voice you're gonna use?
I guess.
But you are the type of guy.
I'm not this guy.
Which I don't know what it is.
But you're the type of guy that can,
if you met Chris Evans, you'd fucking hang all night
with him, have a fucking story the next day.
You know what?
I wish, I'm glad you'd see me like that.
But a lot of times it's hard for me to interact
with people that I kind of want something from.
Like if he was in a field where I didn't want anything from it,
like he's like a musician, where like,
there's nothing you could do for me or anything like that.
Like I could be completely cool, honest, whatever.
But since he's an actor, I don't want him to think
that I want something from him,
and that will get in my own head.
Right. You know, so it's just weird and I'd rather not.
Yeah, it's what about you?
You can, of course, you hang out with your fucking idols.
Yeah, but I, but I know not to go, you know, what was that?
That one song you wrote or whatever.
Like I was just at the garden of the show when I was hanging out with some of the dudes backstage.
And I was just wrapping with them just about, you know, New York and all that stuff. Who you, who'd you see?
Scorpions and Megadeth. Yeah. Yeah, but I could talk to the 95. I could talk to those guys.
Right. But you just hang with them and just, you know, whatever one of the guys came to
my show tonight before and all that shit. So it's, you know, so you're friends with the
lead singer scorpions, the scorpions. No, not them. Those guys are girlfriends.
Did a fucking. Yeah, they love ger a thing. He's still alive.
Rony James, he'll pass away last six years ago.
Yeah, I did know him though for a little bit.
But Megadeth, the guys, you know.
Yeah, I know the guys, I went on tour with those guys,
so I know him.
You would open for them.
Like, like, Gully is selling.
That's a good story.
Yeah, holy shit.
I thought you opened for him.
Yeah, he opened for him.
I haven't even stand up before.
Before who?
Megadeth, anthrax, and slayer.
Why?
Like 14,000 people tell me how much
Tell me his good money a grand the night. I got
But I do like 35 I want to pay you a grand a night just to perform in my backyard by yourself
From my wife in my heat do better you would do I was your crowd from yeah, it would only be three bottles getting
He's your crowd from it would only be three bottles getting
14,000 Now when you go to games you understand why they take the tops off. Yeah, I know
Yeah, I always yeah, you have to do it from the pirate ship though
Whatever
So you're up in front of 14,000 people as everybody seated and waiting or are people still trickling in
Well, I had to do three different sets. Who's, what the fuck?
Who's seated?
It's not Celine Dion concert.
It's mega death.
No, that's right.
The fuck is standing on the floor.
On the floor, that's standing.
It's extra death.
So it's probably like 6,000 on the floor
and the rest are sitting.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those fucking people, that's mosh pit.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
So wait a minute.
So you're, this is crazy to me. Oh, you are a fucking, let me tell you're, okay. Oh my god. So wait a minute. So you're, this
is crazy to me. Go. You are a fucking, let me tell you. He's the best. You're the, you're
the most fearless, fearless, can't I know? I know you know, I know. Have you ever done
well? Did you ever kill? Yeah. And then I fell bags. I'm like, if I'm killing for, this
isn't good. This, I know, like I, I felt bad that I was killing that I figured it out.
Cause I'm like, this is, wait a minute, this is not helping my comedy at all.
What do you mean? What do you mean? What does that mean?
What do you mean? Because I'm just, it's like crowd control.
I said it's like I'm seeing a rape is what I had to do.
Jesus. I had to keep everything fucking together.
You want to try to get people screaming this going on.
I'm like, I behind me warming up, boom, boom on the guitar.
I'm trying to go joke warming up.me, warming up, boom, boom, on the guitar, I'm trying to go joke. I'm warming up.
Well, you know, like the roadies get tuned in the guitar,
so I had some of that shit going on.
So you, but you tune out,
what you have to do is just go out there,
tune out, fucking everybody,
and go, you're doing, I'm doing this set
for this long and getting the fuck out.
Yeah, I had to do three, five-minute sets
in between each band.
Are you fucking me?
Yeah. I complained about checks. I'm like sets in between each band. Are you fucking me? Yeah.
I complained about checks.
Like, why would they job tricks during the show?
Thank you.
I complained about a fucking hot chicks
with their phones on their faces.
During my last five minutes of my show.
But you know what?
But they couldn't make it to an hour.
They literally had to tap out five minutes left
and just go, I have to check my Twitter.
This guy's boring.
I get it.
We're old.
You have a kid fucking you fat.
Goodbye.
Okay.
So tell me the time you killed.
I want to hear your intro.
This next rape coming to the state.
Well, when the first band went on at like seven o'clock,
there's only like 2000 people in the venue.
So it was great.
They were all listening.
Nobody was heckling.
You know what I mean?
So they were fine.
The second time in an hour later, when the second band's going on.
But actually, I said, let me go on right after the first band.
So that 45 minutes in between the set and up the second band
was going to be too much.
So let me just go on right before the first band,
then right after their 40-minute set.
So I did two quick sets, and it was fine.
But then I went on right before the headline or slayer,
like an hour and a half in the show. Now the venue's got 14,000 people and most of
them didn't even see me from before and the last that I had to do I couldn't even do it
on the main stage because there was a they had such a big stage show.
I had a curtain cover in the whole stage.
I had to do it from the sound board in the middle of the venue.
My last set so that I had all of a sudden they had a spotlight on me.
I'm like, hey, you guys doing them over here now.
And then everyone had to turn around.
You fucking kidding me.
Now we gotta turn around and hear you, dick jokes.
But will you do in the typical,
because I performed in front of 14,000 people at the garden
after fish and the spend doctors in front of fish.
And you start doing that.
What?
You start doing that fucking, are you guys ready?
Oh yeah, cheerleading.
So you cheerleading.
Who hates hip hop?
You don't even say that, take a second.
Not in seconds.
All lives matter.
In that crowd, what the fuck, you know what I mean?
You wouldn't have to take a beating on that one.
Yo, yo, what up everybody?
Welcome to the coffee section of the show.
You shit.
But if I was doing a hip hop show, I'd say who hates heavy metal?
Yeah, to get the reaction.
But then I'd like to Kanye West.
Boo.
There's another 20 seconds kill.
Beautiful.
What?
So we're just cheerleading drinking sex.
You get a box.
When was sex?
And so you're just throwing some sex jokes, some drinking jokes and drugs.
I'm talking about you.
But you're getting wakes jokes, some joke jokes and drugs.
I'm talking about.
But you're getting a joke.
You're getting a joke.
You actually set them up, you get a joke.
Yeah, quick.
Within 15 seconds.
And when you're done though, and you're after you're close, do you bring up the band?
No, I just say Slayer's coming up in a couple of minutes.
Oh, and I just have been.
So it's very, it's anti-climactic.
Yeah.
So if you go out there in between
blah, blah, blah, doing that shit. All right, I'll see you guys later. Slayers coming up
at a second and then you walk off and then there's a couple minutes and then. And then they
come on. Yeah. But but when by the time I went off from my last set, I would go on like
seven minutes before they were going on. I like eight fifty three. I go to eight fifty eight
day. We come out at nine. Now the whole band's the whole crowd's chanting slayer because they're ready from the come out.
And then they fucking hit me with the spotlight
back at the soundboard in the middle of venue.
I go, hey, how you guys doing them over here?
And I'm like, hey, so listen, slayers coming up in a few minutes.
Like, it was by my third set, people like, all right, dude,
we get it. You tell me the jokes.
But that's what I was hired to do.
Yeah.
All these people know you now though.
No, well, I'd say probably half the venue to three quarter new, but that's good for about
30 seconds.
Do you get any like tweets or hate tweets from that or anything?
This is just was in 2010.
So tweets weren't in there and that and those fucking old metal dudes, they don't, they
don't, you know, they still have my space.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
See, I want to know you, you're worst night. What happened? Well, the first
night I was in San Antonio was a bunch of Mexicans and they didn't, they didn't know my
show, they didn't know that metal show that was on. Right. So they didn't know who the fuck
I was. So about a third said it was like 17,000 people who sold out. They were throwing
beers at me because I would, they thought I was taking time away from the main band. So
I'm at the, I'm at the soundboard and that's fucking beers like missiles coming at me. And I'm ducking. I'm moving around and there was hitting the soundboard. So I'm at the, I'm at the soundboard and that's fucking beers like missiles coming at me.
And I'm ducking, I'm moving around
and there was a hit in the soundboard.
So I was gonna shoot out the whole board.
So then I get the fuck off.
Yeah, so the next night,
they were like, look, they were covering the soundboard
before I went on.
Like a tsunami was coming.
Like five minutes to tell them all,
cause all the families hang out
and watch the band there.
So they got everybody out of the way,
out of the way, they would leave me up there naked.
But they were covered with tarps, cause they're like, we can't have fun. You didn't know you. No, me up there naked, but they would cover it with tarps because like we can't
You didn't know you know, I'm not yet fucking I'm what did you say when a beer came flying at you?
I didn't say anything. I was just trying to get through it when Trump builds that wall. It's never gonna hit me
Yeah, just a pretty drop. I would have definitely I would have been definitely doing Trump
You remember any of the jokes that you did the ones ones that killed the ones that all, the one that always worked. I always, I had this joke that I did when I was, you
know, doing comedy, maybe five years. I said, uh, you know, I'd something about drinking
and drive. Hey, you guys be careful. Now, if you're going to drink, you know, I got, I
watch out for the roadblocks of the spot checks. I go, I got caught at a spot check last
week. The guys, the cops like, you've been drinking. I go, yeah, he goes, you drunk.
I go, do you see a fat chick in my car?
I did that when I was, you know, when I was doing
cops, so that was a joke from like 20 years ago.
That's why you paid for the quarantine joke.
Yeah, and it would kill even for, you know, and that was,
and then I'd bring on the band or whatever.
Right.
Right after that, Jeff.
Pretty much that would one that usually do pretty well.
Right.
See, I feel like they should let you bring the band on.
It is.
No, because there's too much time.
Maybe if there's too much time going on before, like maybe the guys are going to be
minute late or whatever they don't want.
A band doesn't just, I don't want to stretch.
I never want to fucking stretch.
Yeah, but it's not, it's not fucking Abba.
You know, they're all fucking waiting exactly meditating before they go on.
There's a fucking bunch of drug addicts alcohol.
Where's fucking told me? I don't know. He was before they go. And there's a fucking bunch of drug addicts alcohol. Where's fucking told me?
I don't know.
He was fucking hit.
You know, and the fucking this guy's up to get fucking bottled
thrown at his head.
They were in the back just waiting to go on like, this guy's
really good, man.
I got offered to do another tour like in two months, December,
like December through February.
What did you say?
I said, no, it was a really good money.
Why?
Black label society was like the guy from Ozzy's band and this other band corrosion
reformer day.
Why would you turn it down?
I'm not going to be on the road for too much. You sleep in a bunk. It's, you know what I mean?
On a bus. Oh, yeah, you sleep on a tour bus in a bunk would would up usually to roadies.
Okay.
That don't, you know, and you have to shower at the venue. You get there in the morning,
like eight in the morning, you pull up in this 10 roadies in front of you showering.
Was it better money than last time?
Yeah, it's like 1500 to show.
Stuff.
I know it's pretty good money, but I'm not doing it.
Is it? Oh shit, okay.
Yeah, for like, for like 60 shows.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, there's 55 shows.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but by the end of that, you'd be dead.
Yeah, I can't, yeah.
Bob DeBono is doing that now. And I'm be a wife of my kid that long Bob that exactly right?
Bob the bond I was doing Trump in front. There's a guy with a YG or whatever the rapper's name is.
You might some torre with YG. Yes, his
Stair because he has a song called Trump. So he Bob dresses up his down. Trump does the impression. He literally starts the concert.
Come out says hey everybody they go
ballistically they hate them right and then they start yeah three minutes he doesn't
and boom starts the song and he basically chased them off stage and a place goes absolutely
what's he getting for that I don't know good money I guess probably not
speaking of Trump probably 500 yeah yeah speaking of Trump 300
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Ah, anyways.
Um, ¿y algo que te promote?
¿S� ¿Qué es esto?
SÃ, me pongo a un proyecto de stand-up.
Oh, sÃ, me pongo a esto.
Oh, sÃ, I heard about this. Oh, yeah, cool. Yeah, I basically, I filmed, I guess the long story short
is I filmed a...
Comic-Con already did that.
I filmed and it was great.
It was all right.
Well, New York story or long story short?
I thought they were all great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm a big fan of comic.
I'm a huge fan.
I love New York story.
So basically, I filmed the, I wanted to film a special
and an idea last year and basically what I was going to do is like
do an hour over five different clubs and film the cab rides
in between and like really do what it is that you know
a New York a New York comic what we go through right
to showcase this this life.
And at least for one night show kid this one night.
So I did it and I cut it.
It came down to like 50 minutes.
I tried to sell it to all these networks
and I was very humbling experience.
I figured I was gonna sell enough fucking heartbeat.
And because I had some shit going for me at the time, you know what?
I'd lean a sitcom, I had a podcast very popular.
What was the lean the sitcom?
Benders.
You know, yeah.
Yeah, and Bender just had just got on Netflix.
Like there's a lot of things, the guy who heads Netflix
is a guy brought me to Montreal.
I'm like, yeah, it's his name.
Oh, Robbie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm like, love Robbie. Yeah, Robbie's great
Do a great job over there Netflix and
And I went to other networks and it was like a hold on
It was like this and a lot of it was very humbling and I just said you know what I want to put it out
I want to put out myself and I want to
Give it a get not give it away, but essentially give it away
So I just I cut it down to about 17 minutes and I did four clubs four different sets one night and it's called 4 4 1 and
I basically put it out on my YouTube and I just said let people share it and watch it and I think if people share it and watch it enough
I think that um it's well done
Who did the editing on that because I thought oh yeah?
Well, I I teamed up with this production company Manhattan production my brother is also involved
He does all the video stuff for the podcast.
But like, yes, we, so shout out to Brandon Walsh and Bradley Ross.
I don't know, maybe you might have worked with Brandon before.
He knows you well or he knows you.
Who is your first?
Brandon Walsh, he might have worked.
I think he was actually over there at what's it called for a while?
What is sex and drugs?
Maybe before, maybe other projects earlier,
but he worked with CERPORCO.
Oh, yeah, for a while.
He was at the office for a while.
But he's a big fan of yours.
But yeah, so I just put it out,
and I was like, you know, I'm gonna put this thing out,
and it was so crazy, man.
Overwhelming response, and I would love for everybody
who listens to the show to watch,
but what was shocking is, I assume everybody knows me
as a standup, right?
Like, you know, you're on TV shows,
you assume that people would know you as a standup
because that's what you do.
These people do not know a lot of times.
Yeah, because you did MTV show.
I do MTV, I do a podcast.
What's the shawlamein?
I do a podcast shawlamein, God, brilliant idiot.
What's his name?
Shawlamein, the God.
What?
The God.
The God, the God.
Yeah, today's fucking time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a fucking great nickname.
Come on, bro, confidence all day.
You took the called Chris Evans. I'm not. He probably knows exactly. If you name the fucking great nicknames. Come on bro, confidence all day. You think you're called Chris Evans.
I'm not.
He probably knows exactly.
If you name the God, then we go.
How do you name him?
Did he get name man?
I think it has to do with the 5%er teachings.
Like what's that?
It's like, 5%ers, it's like a black empowerment kind of
movement that really got popular.
I think in like the 90s.
And I think man is part of God or God is in man
So everybody had these names that are like Siphah Siphah's name for Siphah sounds
You know Siphah works here. Siphah comes from that. Oh really? Yeah. I want a fucking cool nickname
We're gonna get you one Jim. Give me a nickname
Didn't you have one what started?
Why don't you have a name? I had the the rooster
What I started, you don't have a name. I had the rooster. What? What?
Yeah, the rooster.
I was on O'Bean Antony.
I did the rooster.
Yeah, I brought my clip of me doing stand-up
to O'Bean Antony one day when I was young, brand new.
It was the night, the first time my wife ever saw me do stand up, who's my wife now is just to check
I was trying to bang back then, right, and I had a fucking black t-shirt on with the sleeves rolled up and
a flannel with the sleeves cut off
Talked in just tight jeans and I would I would go on stage and I would like what's up?
And I would I would go on stage and I would go, what's up? I'm
a
And then we'll come up the rooster Kelly
Why would you do that?
No, I'd be in a jug and I was like, this chick was fat and then she did that
I would get a laugh. I don't know why they loved it.
She's so that tongue work. I need it. I need it.
I need it. I just go school. I remember one night. This is a fucked up.
Dan was on stage and he's you you know, 500 people at Nick's comedy stop.
He goes up, he's doing his act.
He's like, boom, bam, and that's good.
And I was like, he just did my fucking school.
He just did my shit.
And he came off.
I'm like, dude, you did my school.
I'm like, what?
I'm like, dude, I'm Bob the rooster, Kelly.
What do you do? He's like, dude, do them Bob the Rooster Kelly. What do you think?
He's like dude, I didn't even know today. I'm like yeah, you know
I know that's my thing I do
It's a great wrestling. It was pretty catchy. I'd love to see that fight
What the Bob the Rooster Kelly people don't I school
Don't know my turn. I'm not quick enough to tongue this faster. That's pretty good.
Anyway, so I got this thing.
I got this special.
And I put it out.
I call it a comedy experience.
It's on my YouTube YouTube.com slash the Andrew Shelters which is also the brilliant editor's YouTube.
And the goal is just to create heat and get heat.
You know, like I had, I guess I get,
let my ego get ahead of me and there,
but like we still need to prove ourselves constantly
in this business.
And so my whole thing is,
hey, I wanted to get out there, get tons of views.
And then I have some product that shows,
hey, I know how to do stand up.
I know what I'm doing.
And well, I mean, look, our style of comedy right now
is not that in, I would say.
Yeah, what style is that?
Well, you know, I got a kid, a wife, or a woman,
or girls, or, you know, that type of, you know,
white guy comedy.
Funny comedy.
Well, I look, we're all funny, I think.'m sure so I'm sure everybody in this room makes me laugh, but I think that
You know, it's funny. You say that. It's just like this bit you get
You get to a point where everything's fucking great
Because you see some people that maintain it. Yep. It is maintainable
Absolutely, and you're like oh, I'm here. I'm here. I got it. Let's
just maintain this. Yep. I'm cool. But then you dip. Some people dip. It's part of the business,
I think. Well, mostly. Yep. You know, and Patrisius talked about that. That rollercoaster ride. You
get a dip. You're going to make sure that, you know, some people get you everybody gets back off the
ride and back in line. Yep. Just some people have that VIP Disney pass and they get to cut the line again and go on the ride quicker
Sure sure, you know sure. Yeah, it's it's funny because you were on benders
You had all of shit and then you would think that everybody would just pick this up
I mean, you're a good looking guy you're fucking you got a great stage presence. You're very confident
Thank you, and you put this thing out yourself?
I thought, I planned for this, by the way.
Why?
The reason I did it specifically like that is, I thought that I was like, okay, maybe they might,
maybe I don't have like the juice.
You know, there's some guys who are like industry darlings in the standup world and,
you know, the industry really gets behind them.
That's never happened to me.
I've had a lot of great opportunities, maybe outside of standup.
But never like, it wasn't like, you know, these bloggers or anything like that, I've really kind of gotten behind them. That's never happened to me. I've had a lot of great opportunities, maybe outside of stand up, but never like it wasn't like, you know, these bloggers or anything
like that have really kind of gotten behind me. And, but I was like, you know what, this
idea in itself has some equity. Like the idea of like showing a New York comic and having
the cap rides and all these little things in one night. And I was like, surely people
who are really into stand up or a network that was really into stand up would love to get a piece of this because it's an interesting experience.
Yeah.
And, um, but just because they said, no, doesn't mean I shouldn't put it out.
And my feeling is, I've always had to prove myself whether it was stand up or anything like that. I've always had to constantly do it.
So if I got to prove myself through YouTube and I got to get a bunch of views and people fuck with it, then that's great.
And if I get a big number, you know, if I get something,
if I get 100,000 is cool.
500,000 be amazing.
If I get a million views on it,
that's a different conversation with networks.
Now I'm going to networks like,
what can you do for me?
Because calmly central, nobody, a million people are not watching,
a million people are not watching their specials.
Right.
I don't care who it is.
They're happy with like 100,000 at 12 o'clock at night really nobody watches the air at once
There once yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, they're leveraging right what is it? What are they doing?
Why don't know what they're doing? They just parody specials
Why do you do that do they chop it up and then put it on their serious?
What how do they make it really cheap to make yeah for them and
Also, it's a it's a leverage play, right?
So when Kevin Hart has a new special that comes out
or a new movie that comes out,
you're gonna notice that all of a sudden
it's half hours on rotation, it comes in.
Right, so now you're still on ads on the same piece of
the same ad revenue.
Of course, it's a leverage.
So it's like, boom, you could have a show come out,
CBS, huge popular show.
Guess what's gonna get rotated on the center.
Oh, yeah.
You know, boom, same thing. So I think that's what the plays, the smart play.
That's not that expensive to do stand up.
Wait, how did you film in each club?
You had cameras.
I had two camera crews flip flopping.
And I just did my actual set.
That's the thing.
I so wait.
So you went from one club and you got the other and the other, and the other,
the camera crews got to go to the next club.
But so the camera, yeah, they set up all lights.
How did they do that?
That quick.
So, so I had, I had two crews.
One was at the comic strip and the next one was waiting for me at the seller.
Right. So I do my set the comic strip.
And by the way, they're just set times.
They're not like the show is just for me.
Yeah. I come and I do my set and I leave, you know, I didn't ask for it.
You bomb on any of them.
Um, there's ones I didn't do as well.
What did you leave that in?
Yeah, of course.
You did in the in the, in the whole version turning into a fucking old Jewish in? Yeah, of course. You did. In the course. And turning into a fucking old Jewish guy.
Yes, of course.
Hey, I'm 33.
I'm 33.
Lenny's here.
Okay, I don't know.
So what happens when you don't sell a special,
you get a little Jewish, you try to,
hey guys, what happened to the tribe?
He's a good boy, right?
Hey, that's a nice one.
I mean, is it me or am I hearing it?
You know, no, there's no good on this.
He does every once in a while.
So I like it.
So basically, I should have that fucking
locks in bagels tonight.
I would have been delicious.
Jim would have been like, I don't like him.
It's fish on a bagel.
For even just eating a fish part.
You don't eat fish for a breakfast.
No carbs, he's in such a good shape.
Jews were the best.
He's a very good sick.
Jim's always been in fucking great shape.
I'm single, so you got it. You know what I'm saying? You're the best. He's a very good sick. Jim's always been in fucking great shape.
I'm single, so you got to get on that.
Yeah, it's right.
Yeah, it's good.
I want to talk about that.
So I'll wrap this up.
So basically, we would have a time.
So, yes, I basically had two crews and one crew waited the next one and then after I would
leave a set, they would go to the third one.
So there was a lot of timing involved and it was some tricky shit to make happen. but you did it yourself. I did it myself with with help obviously I had guys of course
But here's the thing is and I'm I'm telling you right now
I'm starting to I I set my I've been buying lights. I've been learning lighting. Yeah, I got cameras
I got microphones. I'm doing this shit on my own
You know you gotta do I learned I learned that shit you doing this shit on my own. You know, we gotta do it.
I learned that shit.
You gotta do it on your own.
And Lenny, Lenny, you wrote a whole fucking show by yourself.
You got it, man.
We did this in 2006 before anybody had a web series.
They did it on fucking V.
Here's the go.
We had those big cameras.
We did like,
We had a big camera, but we had, no, no, no, no.
We had whatever the digital tapes were. Yeah, so we did a web series on digital tape
Yeah, right soon as the first
Editing sweet came out that you could do with digital you got to prove yourself man. It's like it's like with we see a lot of like actors get
Opportunities over and over again even those shows don't work. Yeah, and we go. Why would they keep picking that guy or girl?
And it's like because they've proved that they can do the job.
Well, I don't think so.
This is a little of everything.
I think there's a little bit of a culty circle of your in.
And I think that to break through that
for people like us, I've had to pick up every rock
and look for a fan.
You know what I mean?
Well, some people just have them come.
Sure.
It's almost like they're given a fan base.
There's different tribes, right?
Like, I think that we have to fight and claw and...
What's your tribe?
If you really want to talk about fan base,
you gotta think about what is the tribe?
Like, who are the people that are...
Well, I gotta, I gotta talk with you.
Listen, man, I got a couple.
I got O&A fans.
Right.
I got Torgasm shit still.
I mean, I have people this weekend at Buffalo. When I do a show, I got O&A fans. I got Torgasm shit still. I mean, I have people this weekend at Buffalo,
when I do a show, I have Sex and Drugs fans
from Sex and Drugs, I have people that love me
and Louie, so that type of thing.
And then I got Opie and Anthony fans, of course,
who are probably the biggest one.
And then there's people that have come
into see me since Torgasm.
So it's like this, and then there's people that just found me.
You got a conglomerate of fans, but there's not like a, there's not like a,
a common thread, a common thread for all of them. And I've noticed the people
with big fan bases, the majority of their fans are part of a common thread, right? So
like black people, for example, will put, put up one comic that is the black comic.
Yeah. Kevin Hart was that for a minute. Obviously rock at his time when he was
that, uh, apps at his time,. Obviously rock at his time when he was that right apps at his time probably cat
Williams at his time, right? Yeah, so like, but they will all lift that person up because it's a
Community and then when they come in town. It's like yo, cat in town. You're black. Well, what are you not doing at the thing?
It's almost like being a giant's fans like giants playing at home. We're gonna
They have a people exactly Sebastian is that right now for a, Italian people. Boom. Jews had that, but now that's slipping. Who they have a for
day. There was millions of guys who were like, they talked about the 50s. Yeah, the
the force got to cure now. Sorry. He said, he said, I had to make Jim laugh. He's just
sitting there listening. But what do they got? Well, but Jim's thing, because you actually, you actually have that. I imagine with your fans, like you have
metal fans. Well, well, metal fans, but then also you get open anti fan, you get how it's
certain fans. So I mean, how it how it must have, how it, you know, how did you mix the
two?
Um, you got to a point when, uh, he's not a care, yeah.
What?
No, yeah, when they didn't care.
When they were fighting back and forth to both shows or whatever, there was a lot of
tension.
He did one or the other.
Right.
So I got on stern.
So my god, I'm going to stay here.
Right.
You know, I got a good base here.
And then, you know, you couldn't, you couldn't do both shows at that point.
Right.
So I just stuck with him for a while.
And then, you know, eventually, you don't, you don't go on as much.
He's not on, on the air as much. And then I you
know I started going to OP because I was good friends with Jim were opening me
in North more roommates. So we're always good friends. I went over there and I started
going over there and you know they got younger comedy fans that like that you
know that that audience is we'll go to comedy clubs. They're great. Yeah.
They support. Yeah they are. They great. They do come out. And they're older now
like it when they you know 15 years ago they were 20 and they were angry and, you know, I mean,
like they, but you know, now they're 35 and they got a kid in their married or something.
So yeah. So now they just want to come to come to come to, but they're big comedy fans.
But up, but we don't have a people like our people would be closer. So I would say, but
we, but he has the metal rock and roll. But I got, but I got guys that like heavy metal, I come to my shows, but not necessarily
comedy fans that'll sit in the front and they're Iron Maiden t-shirts.
And then I don't really know comedy.
They don't get it as well.
They want to yell out like, why'd you pick that Iron Maiden record to be to us one?
That you all want better.
I know my guy, can we, can this wait the left?
They think it's a meet and greet.
Yeah, they think it's a meet and greet.
Yeah, yeah.
I threw that beer at you and San Antonio.
That's how I do it.
Yeah.
But I would love a people.
Wouldn't you?
Wouldn't you just love to, I just, you know.
So let's think about it.
What's your, what's your,
I would have to be middle-aged fat people.
I know it's, I know it, but I like.
There's none of those.
If there was only them in a, like, where could we find
in America?
I don't know.
So middle-aged fat people. But, okay, yeah where could we find in America? So middle age fat, but I'll okay.
Yeah, we can find them, but try getting them off the fucking culture of Friday and Saturday
night.
Those fat foxes.
A good point.
I worked together.
All the bits are like, don't you hate leaving the house and they're like, yeah, that's
why we don't go.
I came all the way from New York and I had to get like two seats on the plane to do it.
You can get out of your chair.
Yeah, it's like, I mean,
well, you don't have a fine.
You just identify as fat.
What?
Do people identify as fat?
No, you can't because you don't want of it.
I look, does people identify as metal hits?
Yes.
People identify as black or Italian or Mexican.
So I think you need to tap into the identity.
I walk out and buffaloed the onstage. It was a Friday night. I go, you guys are all fat.
Like everybody I see. If I'm looking at you, I appreciate the crowd kids.
You're right. Exactly.
The little between you and me.
That's why my friend Chad didn't get laid open for you.
Chad. I like Chad. Yeah, he's a good dude. He's a good dude, man. Very very good The only animal like about Chad as we were doing a podcast like we'd he would do in mind
And I was doing his so he could have one and he he had roast jokes that he had written for me
Like on one of the roasts of something and he was like trying to get trying to save them to me and I'm like dude
Shut the fuck I don't want to hear me shit from you
You're in Buffalo. Yeah, it's like shut the fuck. He read like one. I'm like, dude, shut the fuck, I don't want to hear me shit from you. You're already in Buffalo.
Yeah, it's like shut the fuck.
He read like one, I was like, okay, he read it to us, I do, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna
fuck you.
I'm gonna hit you with the lamp if you keep going.
But I know he was a good guy.
Like, I'm in this kid.
Oh God.
There's these fucking, I come out after the show, there's these, these guys had to be six
three each and they've just beards and hair and big.
Just big. The sweetest guys ever. Just, but they're just big guys. It's like two snuff
alufa kisses. And that's your audience. And they're like, dude, we're going to take
you with cigars tomorrow. And I'm like, real, I'm kind of a little scared. But anyways, Chad's like, you know, Chad was like, I'll go.
So Chad, me and Chad went, we met him.
We smoked these bats with these guys.
And then like, we're going to get wings.
And it's like, we went in eight.
And it's just like, oh my god.
And then they're like, we're going to get donuts.
It's from the movie.
And I'm like, we exactly, it's like, hang out with Chad
and checkers.
And we go get donuts.
And the guy's like, yeah, I got diabetes. Let me get that one. I'm like we exactly like I'm a chopper checkers and we go get donuts and the guys like yeah, I got diabetes
Let me get that one
I'm like guys
I should know how to please I have diabetes
Just a regular don't I should have took them to the gym. Yeah, we should have like I should have did some
Something we should have did something out at a donut shop can't eat healthy in Buffalo. I was there a few weeks ago.
It's got a wings.
You got wings in Buffalo.
I don't know, like physically it's hard to eat.
Yeah.
There's one spot.
It's right near the hotel called Rachel's.
It's that Mediterranean spot.
See, only play.
It's like a Mediterranean trip.
Yeah, right, right.
Only place.
It's tough.
I asked, this sounds like a fucking joke.
Yeah.
It's not, I asked the guy, I was like,
where do I get good health food in the guy way? It's saying he goes, a fucking joke. Yeah, it's not I asked the guy was, hey, where do I get good health food?
And the guy was saying he goes, yeah, Toronto.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
He's got to do Toronto.
Those guys eat some faggy health food.
Yeah, these guys are fucking eating to have fat.
They're like, bears.
They just, they need some extra fat for this shit-wint
and this man is coming.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
Those guys are sweet. I mean
great fans too. But it's like Jesus Christ man. How do you follow up chicken wings with donuts?
Dude, we did. It sounds delicious on paper. My feet were wet. I felt wet. My feet felt
on stage. It was like I shit yellow immediately. Like yelling. My kidney stopped. Yeah, it was fucking nuts dude. I went I
I've been working I came home Sunday worked out Monday work out today I worked out. I'm like I'm done. I'm fucking
I'm back in the gym you getting in I went and bought a
just these
Beautiful adjustable dumbbells and a bench and I have a treadmill in my click in ones the click in one
Yeah, the high-end, the good ones. Okay.
And, like, YouTube is the most-
That's why I'm glad you did this on YouTube.
Yeah.
Talking about all this shit.
Anything you want is on YouTube.
You can learn anything.
I learned the drums on YouTube.
That's it.
Drumming without drums.
A fucking idiot with a magazine, a book, and drum.
Not an idiot.
Great guy. Help me fucking learn how to play drums.
I learned carpentry off of the fucking internet.
I learned gardening, I learned about bugs,
and I put this work out, I wrote,
I wrote literally 12-minute bicep workout.
And a fucking dude, all right guys, let's go,
woo-woo, and then I wrote fucking 12-minute shoulder workout.
All right, we're gonna do this.
And I just did a fucking, you know, like a half hour
by and try where in my shed.
I was like, the fucking is beautiful.
Yeah, I was dying.
But yeah, the buffalo's a nightmare.
Nightmare fucking nightmare.
Okay.
But thank you for letting me plug it.
I appreciate the, uh,
Oh, dude, I'm glad. Listen, watch it, man.
Let me great and share it too.
I was, I was talking to somebody about that.
What we have to do at this point, because, you know,
it's, it's almost ridiculous.
It's almost crazy what, I don't care.
And I just wish we could stop talking about race.
Like Morgan Freeman said at the best.
I'm not gonna call you white and you don't call me black.
My name is Morgan, your name is Chad.
And can we just go from there?
And it's like, yeah, it's a great fucker way to live.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't care.
It has nothing to do with it.
Culturally we live a little different.
You're like different foods, different clothes,
different music, but when we give this a fuck,
I know white people just stop it, you know,
because it's like us as white guys,
we're especially white comedians,
I feel like we're sometimes it's like,
nobody wants to hear from you,
we've heard enough out of you.
And it's like, that is so unfair to say to me.
You know, you always say that,
but I never think that's true.
I think they'll hear from anybody.
I mean, when you go downstairs, they're not turning off on you.
You know, they don't go, ah, I don't want to hear this.
Oh, at the cellar you're saying down,
I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about,
I think you're talking about more like taste makers and entertainment.
Taste makers and entertainment are just exactly what you said before.
It's like, how do we generate income?
What's hot right now?
They don't know what they're doing.
What's not what's not hot is you, you, you, you, you.
Maybe no way, dude, yeah, it's perceived as maybe not as sexy
and stand, not stand up, but like Hollywood.
But I think there's numbers to back it up.
Like black women, everybody's trying to make shows
for black women because they fucking watch television.
They're the only ones that are watching as a block.
That's why VH1 is killing it when every other network
Is fall on a part they just keep doing the black chick shit. I gotta fucking I gotta get I want a black chick audience then get that
Rooster bro, no the ring back rooster. No rooster. You gotta bring the rooster. What's up ladies? I eat that pussy
If your man ain't going on that click he ain't shit
Like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like
That would kill you know the crazy thing though. This is weird. It's like
We have all this opportunity now the biggest barrier for entry for us
It'll even hurt like even like 10 years ago, for making films
or anything like that was technology, right?
It was like, I can't afford a $10,000 camera.
I can't afford a $50,000 light setup, whatever like that.
Like in this room, you probably spent maybe
what, 20 grand on all this whole setup here?
Oh, sure.
Oh, good amount.
But like, you have a fucking TV studio.
I have a TV studio.
Yeah.
You can create TV level content in the room.
And I could never be done before.
No, because here's the thing I was telling you before.
I just, I have my podcast set.
I've always, technology's always been my fucking thing.
It's my dick heart.
Everybody knows that.
That's your new addiction.
It's my old addiction.
I have the first of everything I always,
you know, and my thing is I always wanted to be able to do my podcast with me and somebody else just high end audio
and as small as possible. And as I don't want the file to be a massive thing, I want it to be I email it to a fucking bang. It's up and it's up. You know, and I, I, I, I, I finally figured it out. I went to
Sanhizer, Sanhizer. Yep. And I bought these new wireless AVX, uh, laps. And I went to
being H, your people, yeah, who are the greatest people in the world. I said, this is what I want to do,
a podcast on my phone on a regular, just, you know, you're fine to do a podcast on my phone on a regular just you know, you've got to do a podcast on the phone.
What am I?
I want to do it on my phone.
Choose the closest thing I'm talking.
That's right.
They're close.
People are close.
They're surprised.
Dude, that should be right.
You're right.
I've never gone to be an H to get some shit.
And you didn't know it was a Jewish holiday.
It is a fabulous.
I've done that.
And so annoying.
For a moment.
Close at four.
I didn't want it.
It's the sun still out.
And then you're just grabbing any Jewish guy
that looks like he could work there.
Like, dude, what's the deal?
What's up with it?
Oh, I've done it a hundred times.
I got these microphones that hook up.
This guy was like, all you need is you need this wire.
You need a three cord and a three prong.
And he goes boom, push the button over.
It comes in a box.
And I go home
I hook two receivers that go into one wire into my phone
I put a lav on you wireless a lav on me wireless walk around the street get on a bike do a motorcycle ride go into
Ferris whatever the fuck I want to do record it right to my phone
I hit a button I send it to my drop box, my guy throws
it up for my premium members. And it's like that. So technology, we're there.
Yeah, it's not the technology. What's going to cost you on all this stuff is labor.
Yes. Yeah, but labor, okay. First of all, the greatest, I edit videos on my phone with
my movie. Yeah, no. So I've, but at the skill, Apple, why Apple's great and apps are great, they make it
88 proof.
Yes.
They literally go, just drag drop, stupid, title, duh.
And you can put, this guy just did the, I'm getting the comics, the comic of the year thing
I told you, right?
He goes, can you please send a video?
So I took a video of me.
I took their logo out of the title, put it in front of the end.
I did all of my phone within fucking 10 minutes.
I said to told me, he's like, hey dude,
dad, like did you pay, did you have something,
you don't have to go this far?
I'm like, no, instead of my phone.
It's a technology's fucking nuts.
I'm gonna shoot a show out of my shed by myself.
You should.
You're gonna shoot a show out of your shed?
Out of my shed.
Shoot a show, you're gonna shoot it.
What are you doing?
You're doing tries and buys.
I went out, we were walking to work out.
It's called the Clint Workout. It's called the Clint workouts.
I go find them.
No, no, no, no, no.
So here's the crazy thing.
We can do it all ourselves now.
Yeah.
So the good thing is we can do it all ourselves now.
The bad thing, we have to do it all ourselves.
Yeah.
There was a time where we could pitch an idea for a network
and they would have tons of money
and they just go, yeah, Jim, make this show.
But Bobby, make this show.
Now they're like, you know, but now if you're, if you do it right, you could have the
ride cast network on television, you know.
So I was looking, you and I were talking about the fall preview.
I was going through more of those things.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I don't even know how the networks.
Can I say something right now?
We went from
36 shows on TV to I think 600. Yeah, it's crazy. You don't even know half the networks that are out there
So it blows my mind is the shows are out there. Yeah for actors to get absolutely
I mean, it's fucking quadruple duple dupled
They're willing to risk it because it only takes a moment show because remember 10 years ago was all reality shows
There was no those hardly any work for actors. Yeah, very true
TV's unbelievable right now, but that's the reason that these networks will pop up right because they know all it take AMC
When we were fucking growing up. I know played that a Christmas Carol are stupid over and over and over again
They got one hit show, which was what was it madman breaking breaking
Well before breaking back they even got mad men no breaking bad was before that was before yes
Well they hit breaking bad and then they went on a tear of hit show after hit show
But one fucking show will make a network. Yeah, so why not?
We'll effects great example though like yeah, and then boom and then and they're rescuing me
Yep, and then they had their comedy
But now you know fx is a thing you can go to fx for
Yeah, but comedy's not comedy's real life comedy's not comedy anymore. Mm-hmm
They want they want real life comedy. Mm-hmm. It has to be real. They don't care of how funny it is
They care if it has to mean something and say something and be funny. Was it land and land is affects?
Pam shows.
I'm sure it's good.
Yeah.
It's funny.
It's a funny show, but you have to, you know, you have to be into that.
You have to watch it and be into that.
You know, you can't be a teenager and be like, I get it.
I don't know.
For a dog.
Yeah.
And then I'll give a fuck about ratings anymore.
I mean, NBC, ABC, CBS CBS you had to get a fucking 10 million
Ray, you know, viewers. They don't give a fuck because you can't tell when somebody's gonna watch it, right?
And people just aren't watching. I actually think somebody's gonna happen like you know how Trump won the election by appealing to
To people who are maybe overlooked. Yeah, I think the same thing will happen with network TV.
I think network TV is trying to go a little high brow,
like they're trying to get brunch shows
and fancy graphic designer show.
And I think a lot of the people who watched
maybe the Kevin James type show in like Rosanne
and those kinds of like, they were looking at these shows,
like I don't relate to the only brunch
I have a normal fucking job puts something on and I relate to you know what I mean like
Well CBS still does to your basic and who who's winning is yet?
C.B. Yeah, yeah, they're very easy show. I'll tell you this too is that I think I was saying this to somebody
I think it was Quinn. I was like we need to get the fucking millionaires out there.
You know, like just get a couple,
fuck, not even billionaires to invest in us.
Just give us the money, let us make our own shit
with our people and we'll make you your fucking millions back.
Isn't that good?
And that could be a deno-
That was, well that was Louis Luzard.
Yeah, but that could be delusional but if i if i got a
billionaire say i got fucking uh...
he'll almost
not but fuck him because he's very conservative
isn't it no i mean not very liberal he's very liberal he's he's more
yeah i don't think it's not gonna be a billionaire no you want a fucking you
want a conservative you want a guy and every billionaire is a
Conservative they will lie about it, but every one is who yeah
Who's the guy with the beard that's on fucking Instagram shirtless all the time with guns damn bulls-arian get him
You know who huh? He's a millionaire though. I don't know if you got enough money to make TV
You got enough money for hookers to come shoot fucking blocks, but that is different when you're trying to make TV. You got enough money for hookers to come shoot fucking blocks, but that is different
when you're trying to make it to you get a four three key grips. That's it.
Come on. There is a fuck up. He get afforded a couple of beauties to sleep on a plane with
them. That's it. No, you know, you want to conserve it a billionaire because you get
a liberal then they're going to go, well, you need a black guy. Yeah. Where's the Asian
show? And you don't have this? Whatever's funny is funny.
Yeah, fuck it.
Whatever you want to make.
You know what I'm saying is too many white guys, too fucking bad.
Yeah, fuck it.
That's what you need.
The funniest people, you know, those are the shows that are going to be on.
You're not going to work.
Yeah, we get a fucking conservative, we get Trump.
Trump just fucking gives us, he's a billionaire.
Trump TV.
Trump.
They were working on that actually.
That's, that's what they said. Yeah, that was going to be a thing. We get a billionaire. Trump TV Trump. They were working on that actually. That's yeah, that's
a lot. Yeah, that was going to be a thing. We get a fuck. We get a conservative billionaire.
We need two of them. We can't just have Trump. Look, he's a fucking numbs go. And he's somebody
who has a little respect, right? Right. And and and Melania TV. He got a coke brother.
He got a coke brother. Okay. We get the fatitas fatitas their billionaires. Oh, yeah, they are making great
Sounds delicious. We get them we get we get Dana white
Who's a million? Oh Dana white you know Dana white and we get them to give us fucking money
Yeah, we get to make whatever we want you get a show you get a show you get a show. I got a show. It's like oh what about?
You get a show. Let's say there's a
Look under your seat.
Eight episodes.
Oh my God, I gotta show.
What'd you guys get?
I wonder if there's a way to,
I wonder if there's a way to like induce that
through the market.
Like you said, you're making a show in your shit, right?
I'm learning how to, because of technology,
because I can set up a three camera shoot
and one of the cameras has nine shots on it
where I can just hit a button and have a, But I had to learn lighting. I had to do
the work and stuff. And we I'm still we're still working on it. But I can you
know I can invite you up to my shed and then we can make a show. What do we
make a show? Let's say right hypothetically. Yes. We make a show. And if you believe
that there is an audience out there for it, you just need to make it hit that
audience. Once it hits the audience improves,
this is something I've realized about Hollywood.
Yes.
Hollywood isn't open-minded.
They are very prejudice, but they're just prejudiced to profit.
They're not willing, you know what I'm saying?
Like all they want to do is make, they're a second, right?
Like there's a lot of hip-hop shows out right now.
That's because empire worked, right? So immediately every network was like, Oh, Empire work. All right. 50%.
You get power, uh, FX, you do Atlanta, uh, uh, VH1 had one Netflix. I went, all you have
to do is prove it works once. And then they all come suck and dick to get their version
of it. What's your show going to be? I don't know. I got a billion, I got a billion
dollars. I got to show you, whatever you want to do, what were you going to do, Jim?
Pitch it to me.
I don't know.
Can I put you a show?
You know what I like to do?
I like to do a thing where I go to people's houses, people at post bad Facebook posts.
And fucking knock on the door and sit them down.
Can I already, I already have like a five minute clip, but it's sit them down like,
why would you post it?
Listen to me.
I already pitched the show.
Mother Nature doesn't. What's it called? I don't know what it's called. down to go, why would you post it? Listen to me. I already pitched the show. I like it. Mother Nature doesn't.
What's it called?
I already pitched it.
I don't know what it's called.
I already pitched it.
I already pitched it.
I already pitched it.
Okay.
To who?
Ralph Sutton.
What?
I don't know what you're saying, right?
One of the owners of gas digital, me and him.
Literally, I know Ralph.
Three years ago, we should do this show.
This is what we do.
I named it too, called Troll Hunters.
And we go out.
Charlemagne has that show coming out on MTV.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
But he makes, it's like Hatfish only,
he makes them face each other.
So the people who trolled him, they go see,
but the show is different.
Your issue is just literally.
It's not different at all.
It's the same exact idea.
Well, no, you're talking about bad Facebook posts.
He's going to find that.
Oh, whatever, anything on social media, like a stupid post.
Can I pitch you a show that I think would work?
Wait, I'm the billionaire.
Okay, you're the guy who's the billionaire too.
But it's about him.
We're both billionaires.
No, it's a show for him.
Okay, then pitch it to me.
It's a fake, it's not a fake reality, but it's a pseudo reality show about, and you put yourself in
it, but you interact with, and I think Brewer should be in it as well.
But you guys might, you're the big money guy.
You're getting on the line.
So you interact, you have all these famous rock star friends, right?
But they're aging, right?
They're adults now, right?
So people see rock stars on stage and the fucking put in the furniture on the ceiling and
the hotels.
They don't see the rock star at home when their nine year old kid is like, that I don't
care.
Dad, did you take my mascara?
Dad, you know, like that side of, and I think there's something really funny and likeable.
And you have to get them to sign on.
You have to get the lead singer of mega of the sign on.
You got to get this.
They did this.
They did this is Skid Row.
What about Gene Simmons?
Remember they did that with Skid Row?
They did that with, they did that.
It's Gene Simmons to a certain extent, but you do, you would add more rock because that was just about Gene Simmons? Remember they did that with Skid Row? They did that with, they did that. It's Gene Simmons to a certain extent, but you do, you would add more rock, because that
was just about Gene.
This you actually get these rock stars to have dinner together.
It's the same thing they do with these fake reality shows on the actual housewives, but
you do it with rock stars and it's more rooted in reality.
I'm pretty sure, if I had a person here who worked with Skid Row, it was four different
guys in a band, Ted knew Gene or whatever, and, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no they filmed it yeah, I'm sure to fucking pitched it. That's the other thing you Three years ago I pitched it if people say no, it doesn't mean the show is bad
Like people said no to the the special I put out I promise if you go watch it the 16 minutes
I think I think you'll really enjoy it. That was good plug
Thank you for one you to the
That was a fucking good one. I didn't even see a comment. I was like wow brought to you by Brooklyn and speaking of good plugs, deepdiscount.com is it's a loaded website with CDs, vinyl, blue rays, video games and more.
Let's go see for yourself. Deepdiscount.com. Just click there logo on my homepage, ryecast.com,
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And the more you buy, the more you save, okay?
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Stop watching and searching.
For all the, I mean, you sit there and you're trying to find something to watch 20 minutes.
You want to watch in some Steven Segalmo, if you already saw halfway through.
It's a nightmare.
Just crappy quality of words.
You can't find anything.
It's not, it's taking black shows.
Just, what's wrong with black shows?
I love black shows.
I was saying, you said there was too many of them.
I never said that.
I thought you're,
why would you say that?
I was calling it back to you.
You didn't say make TV great again.
I did not say that.
You didn't say that.
You said I said it.
You said it. I said it. I said you said I said it. I said it.
I said it.
I said it.
I said it.
I said it.
Why would you make it up?
Say that you made that up.
You're going to be filming your own TV show.
What I tell you in the read, did I say in the read?
Yeah.
Let me, you know, you get through the thing.
And he's going to bring up some awful stuff.
Oh, sorry.
You're right.
Okay.
Well, he wasn't here. Why does he have to apologize?
Huh?
Because he just made a lie.
Okay, but you're going to be filming your show
in your shed in Westchester.
Yes.
No one's going to take that away from you.
Yes, right.
And no one's going to buy it.
No.
No.
Shed show with Robert Kelly.
That's the name of it.
Shed show.
Is it?
Shed show, yeah.
Shed show. I got this branding shit down, guys.
I'm with you.
You know it wasn't, but when you said that,
I mean, it's just what it is, yeah.
She shows, she shows.
She shows.
I really do think that there is a rock reality.
We know.
So, reality.
Anyways, deep disk count.
You used to look into Jim, I'm just saying.
I'm throwing it up there.
We should have had your headphones on so you can hear me talking.
Sorry.
Deepfizzcount.com.
I can do, I can interview black rock guys too, right?
Guys, wait, I'm,
we'll be the key.
Bobby won't watch that episode.
We gotta keep Bobby's demo away, right?
Black people in my demo, the black,
though, I'm getting the blank chicks.
Just go, little, little, little.
Listen, all right, listen, buy it right now.
Go to deepfiscount.com.
You can buy your DVDs and Blu-rays right now.
Own it.
Have it forever for your viewing leisure whenever you want.
You'll find new releases too.
Like the entire Ken Burns Vietnam.
I got it right up on the screen right here.
This thing right here, man, if you didn't see this.
Did you see it?
The first one?
It's amazing, okay.
It's amazing.
It's a documentary series on sale right now.
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found on my homepage, riotcats.com, slash Robert Kelly, support my sponsors and be good
to yourself. Okay, buy your favorites, watch them when you want. Check it out now. Thank
you, Deep Discount. Yeah, this is, I love this type of stuff. I love it. I love,
I love when it's an epic fucking seven hours, 10 hours. I have the first one. You're right.
It's only into the S literally up to week two or something like that. They're all in it because
now you can talk to the enemies. You know, you can talk to these old guys that were fucking just
killing fucking mother and you can be like, you can get their perspective because we're kind of friends now. No, they say they say they have I read a lot about
this and they said that the um you read a lot get out. Yeah, I read a lot. I'm kidding. We get it.
I read a lot about this show and they said I was just meaner because I was meaner. I've
wanted right when you said a red all about it. That's great. Moving on. No, they say they have so much. They have so much.
I don't know.
I'm not going to get sweet. It was a sweet little baby.
It's so much footage. They have so much amazing footage to back up what the history says.
You know, like the guy would come out and make a speech and they actually show the footage now.
It's amazing how much footage they have of the actual war.
It's like the most filmed war ever. So it's this is the first time they filmed war too, right?
That was why it was a big, uh, this emotional reaction. As it was happening, I think, yeah. Yeah, you
couldn't control the, um, what is it called? The narrative. Mm-hmm. So they, this is supposedly brilliant.
You know, you know, the narrative, the narrative, you know, Lenny. I think it's when you talk to Lenny.
The Jewish on media, you know, uh, we all need to the narrative, you know, Lenny, I think it's where you talk to Lenny. The Jewish on media, you know, we on these things.
Why we're gonna film everything from that shed and it's gonna be a documentary.
It's gonna be beautiful.
And we're gonna get Trump to give us the money to support.
I mean, I voted for him.
I'll say it.
I'll say it proud.
Did you vote for Trump?
I didn't vote for anyone.
And you don't vote, right?
I do, but I didn't like either.
Really? And if I was gonna vote for Trump in New Jersey don't vote, right? I do, but I didn't like either. Really?
And if I was going to vote for Trump in New Jersey,
he wasn't going to win, so.
So let's go.
Hillary's going to win the jersey.
I just got to get into this with you.
Because you're divorced.
Yeah, we all know the fucking story.
Right?
I don't.
I hate the heat.
Sorry.
What?
Does everybody know?
No.
Yeah, wife fucking was, how do you say that politely?
I'm not talking. Why are you talking?
Just another dude. Thanks, James.
I'm faithful. I'm faithful. Thank you.
There you go.
I love you.
It was banging another dude.
Yeah, it's just you could see the personalities in this room.
Like with clarity. I'm not talking
Bang another dude. It's not for me to say it's for Jim's to say let me just think this that gonna happen to me
Never
Never it's never gonna have she settled for his hips. She's in for the long
Hips don't lie my friends. Yeah
She's into that Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Yeah Sips don't lie my friends. Yeah
She's she's into that Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know like my wife will cheat on me. She didn't that is she did not she did not call any's
Hit Lenny has clown hips come on
You do you have that little you got some curve to you, bro Lenny. I love you
I don't talk about it. I do have two different bodies. You know that. Yeah.
I did. Bizarre. Have you ever seen your upper half?
You should be on a little Jewish boy at a baseball game and your lower half is Larry
Bird.
Dude, I work a lot more on the lower half. Yeah. The little lot of running.
You look at Barry Sobel's cartoon.
Oh, man.
But you're, uh, Jimmy.
Jimmy.
So your dry Bobby's 12 minute
out of the other one.
And Carl's get the other one going.
I like to try it by 12 minute.
Carl work out for 17 years.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing, Lenny?
I'm doing the shed workout, honey.
It's been a long time.
How great would that be?
This is what, if I did a some type of YouTube workout
off of somebody else's workout,
and that's what made me big, just like a million fat people
all over the world, just selling out arenas.
Yeah.
Like, if it's a 15,000 arena,
it's only like 6,000 convertible. it's a 15,000 arena, it's only like 6,000 convert that
That's a great
That's a great
That's a great one
It's so
Holy arm rest of rock
Yeah, they're gonna take all the seating out
Bring your own seat, fatty
I would love that. I would love fat people with my people
I think they are because I had a lot of chubby people that might like fans. I love my fucking chubby fans. There we go. Nothing
makes me happy when a chubby dude. Do you think if you lost all the weight, would you still
have those fans? Yes, because they can relate to that shit too. They probably went through
to ups and downs and they lost. They know. But will they be envious to you lost a weight
and they didn't? No, I mean, I'd probably be inspirational to them. It's the worst for
me is that I've known fans
that were fat and I was skinny
and they were like, you inspired me to lose weight.
And then they went and lost all the weight
and I just went the other way and they show up
and like, dude, what happened?
You were my inspiration.
Now, I just tell them to be shit again.
And then you see them again and they're fat
and it's like, you tell me, it was like,
if Bob can do it, I got to pick one weight
and just stay there for at least a good
fucking 10, 20 years.
Fuck it.
Oprah, didn't.
Yeah, she's a gazillionaire.
But speaking of all this shit, you got divorced.
I didn't want to, you got divorced, whatever.
Now you've been single for how long?
Two and a half years.
Two and a half years.
What are you doing with your fucking face, Lenny?
Sorry.
What are you doing? Do you know the guyny? Sorry. So what are you doing?
Do you know the guy I'm sorry?
And you hang on one second before you side please.
Please.
Sorry.
S.E. just texted me.
So I wanted to make sure that was.
It was his wife.
Lenny, when are you coming home?
It was.
No, no, no.
She knows.
She loves Bob.
She doesn't care.
It's like Lenny.
I can't talk to you on Thursday and Friday.
It's been some time together.
No, she was like Lenny, can I borrow your belt?
Can we go go tell him?
Can we go go tell him?
Because we can't eat for two straight days.
That's not the song.
I can't even be a Lenny Kim on this.
Lenny came home one night after working the sound of your...
What?
What is going on in there?
Honey, when you're done, please come out so we can talk about this
Dude, so you've been single for two and a half years are you did you go back full-on?
Just fucking the way you used to fuck or you dating chicks or you are you just banging?
I mean I got listen my first girlfriend she cheated on me, okay?
It it killed me.
This girl, I fucking loved her.
I was writing poems in the library by myself.
I wish I could find these poems.
Before the Rosa shows.
I was, I was fucking, dude, I never felt anything in my,
I couldn't imagine when you went through.
I can't, I can't even imagine,
but when I got over it, once I got over it, I was fucking lickin' and flicking
and suckin' everything I should.
I mean, any fucking, whatever the fuck I could,
anywhere I could.
I didn't care the age, size, color, didn't matter.
I wanted it and I did it.
Did you go into that face?
Yeah, I took a little, but as you get older, you don't have the energy for it. When you're 20, you could, you know, you can run around and bang through a different
chicks in one day. No problem. Do all this. Like, like, I don't know, you know, if you
don't want to come over, it's no big deal. You know, I mean, like, yeah. So it's trying
to get laid before 10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah, it wasn't
as much, but definitely you just are you bringing out you get the house to yourself.
Yeah. That's your show. PM dick. Uh huh. Are you coming? Are you bringing chicks back to the house?
They've been there. The problem is if I take a girl back from New York City and they see
the house, they're not that it's like a mansion or anything like that. It's a nice house,
but they want to move it within two seconds to move it in.
They've been living in a shoebox for fucking 25 years.
Yeah.
So as soon as they walk in there, I can see them looking at the walls.
I don't want to take that down.
This is coming down.
Yeah, never really fucking.
You know, in the morning, let's go to home goods.
Oh, my God.
I want to get you, I want to get you some shelves.
Yeah, no. I want to get you. I want to get you some shelves. Yeah, no.
So, so, so, you know, I get that and I'm like, I better not because then they think we're
dating too.
And then like, if I take them before I go to the train station, like, do I go, let's
go get breakfast and then we get breakfast and they go on a train, go back to New York
or whatever.
So you don't even drive them back in the city?
No.
No.
How far do you live for what?
How far do you live?
35 minutes.
Okay.
So 35 minutes.
And you drop him off with the train like Keith Robinson with a new open micer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Play.
You got to you got to drop you off of Philly Homes.
But I can go see my kid.
I love that.
It's a two hour train ride back.
Yeah. I'm not taking them that drive it all the way back in the city next. I see my kid. It's a two hour train ride back.
Yeah, I'm not taking them driving all the way back
in the city next to me.
You never drove any chick was, no.
You never met a girl that was worth it.
Like, oh my God, I'm, have you met anybody since then
where you're like, I gotta stay away from this girl.
I'm in love with this girl.
This is perfect.
And there's not one that hot enough
to drive her back in the city. Really? Yeah, I mean, a six, this is perfect. And there's not one that hot enough to drive her back into the city.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, a six is taking a train.
It's just the way it's going.
Oh, yeah, wait a second.
So a six is taking a train.
Is that today's episode?
It has to be a six is taking a train.
Right there.
Listen, so wait a minute.
So a sat, I'd say, say.
I'd almost ask for gas money in the way.
I'm not.
No, you pull up to a thing. I forgot my wallet. I'd say I almost asked for gas money in the way
You pull up to a thing like I forgot my wall. Yeah, my god. Yeah, I don't have easy pass. I take it down Yeah, can you can you give me a coffee to yeah, why you're in there? Can you give me a Starbucks? Yeah, and an egg McMuffin? Yeah, it's an easy pass six
Dude what would you do with an eight an eight or nine
Still train still train amtrak
Yeah, well that faster train. Yeah, I don't maybe it depends
Uber Uber would you Uber now cuz Uber would be probably about probably about 60 bucks?
Okay, I'm thinking plus they gonna play the tall to yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the tall 20 16 15 or something like that
So 15 bucks so about 75 would be an Uber so it's right. Yeah, 75 bucks back to the city
You wouldn't drop 70 I would if if she was gonna take it over yeah
Ten ten you know girls are living New Yorker. You said a train though. So it's not that big of a deal
Yeah, so you know, so you you know, some chicken saying, Lewis is going to be like, I'm going on a train. They don't want to go on a train.
Right. Yeah, no problem. I got a fucking, you know, so I got no problem. But I, but I got
a bit, but even if I just take into breakfast, like girls, like, girl, friends of mine, like,
you can't take it to breakfast. You got the wrong idea. I'm like, I just fucking, we stop
got eggs. The train was a comment for 20 minutes, but just because of that, I'm like, I'm
just being nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you know, but do you find yourself?
Look, I'm just I got a gift card that I don't know.
I'm like, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you know, but do you find yourself?
Look, I'm just I got a gift card that I don't know.
I'm like, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I know, but do you find yourself?
Yeah, I mean, I know, but do you find yourself?
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I know, but do you find yourself?
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice. Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice. Yeah, I mean, I'm just being nice. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just being nice. She knows all you have to do is say red dragon. All right, whatever you want is on me.
Just go in and say all you have to do is go to see
see Lois and go, you can order whatever you want.
It comes in, they punch his thing.
Wow, dude.
So now have you had a piece of ass that just blew you away?
Because here's here, cause I haven't married for 10 years.
You were sounding like it.
Well, you were. You were sounding like it but
you were sounding like that
Let me tell you something
Make something up if you have to
Look, look your app
You wanted this your whole life
Am I right?
No
You didn't want to be married?
No
You didn't want to fucking just do it
I've never seen somebody as in love as you
I love my wife
You do I could cry looking at my wife.
He gets, hi, like, hi, oh.
I just do it for show, but he, but we're in love.
What do you want?
I love it.
I love that you're in love with their making me happy.
Well, we always do this and I believe her too.
I go, I love you and she goes, I love you.
And I go, I love you more.
She goes, no.
And I believe it's like she is.
Yeah. I'll hand it to her. She beats me every time. My wife, I love you, and I go, I love you more, she goes, no. And I believe it's like she is, I'll hand it to her.
She beats me every time.
She's way more convincing.
I love my wife, but here's a deal.
I love technology too.
And I love where sex has gone, technology wise.
It's like blows me away that I could just spend hours
in my hotel, swiping, looking hunting.
Oh yeah.
For somebody to come to my Yeah, just to match with some
Somebody as lonely as me
Yeah, come to my hampton in and come up to my room and fucking just
And fucking eat and and then I'll see you later and and that's crazy
Why'd you throw eat in there?
Don't they're gonna get attached. I just told you don't
Because we gotta eat
Gonna get attached I just told you don't feed him my the chicks that I'm going with
Blood sugar is gonna fucking drop right
Do I feed him or I call the fucking EMS?
Diabetic fucking chub load out of there
The rubber feet. You see what's he through in there? Just come upstairs.
I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I've never been happy in my life, but I do look at like,
I mean, it sucks that what you went through, but you do want to get married again? Do you
want to? Probably not. Really?
I wouldn't rule it out.
But you loved being married.
Yeah, yeah, I did.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't rule it out.
Youngest girl since.
Oh, please have the word teen.
Oh, yeah, wait.
Please, please let it be.
No, no, no, 24.
24.
No, I'm sorry.
What is it?
Don't leave me hanging.
Wow, you're on your shitty own hand.
Wow. 24, how old are you? Can you say, don't you don hanging Wow, you're on your shitty hand. Wow 24. How old you?
Can you say don't you don't say if you don't have no no I'm a 53
God what that's almost a 30 ball
What I would need your difference
They don't care so they say your basketball when you
when you score 30 points. I won't say sorry guys. What I remember one time I was probably like 33 and this 18 year old
waiters at this comedy club. And I was wrapped up after which
goes all come the place in New Jersey, whatever. And we get we're
going to go we're going to store like the shop right over by snacks
18. So we get out and we get out of the park Half moons, what you get?
No, so really?
Yeah, I was like popcorn.
She just wanted shit like that and like some chips.
Yeah.
So Halloween costume.
We're in the park a lot and she goes, okay, we get out of the car.
She goes, all right, let's race to the door.
She wins and I'm like, no, I'm not racing.
She goes, come on.
I go, I'm not racing to the car. What don't be such a baby? I'm like, you know what, she's 18 years old. I'm like no, I'm not racing she's come on. I got I'm not racing to the coach
What don't be such a baby? I'm like, you know what she's 18 years old. I'm 32. I shouldn't be here
So you race to the day. I'm so I fucking I pulled a hamstring
I was supposed to day-to-day
Dude and then we bought match and then we bought the tattoos on the way out and the gum ball machine
Yeah, yeah
Let's get tattoos, all right, so we bought tattoos. I'm gonna eat my juice box
I'm 33 I had a 20 year old girl come over and
I'm not as nice as the technology as you are and this girl taught me how to use my my wand remote
What you know the remote that like you can go point at the TV
and it will go to certain parts of a smart TV,
whatever, I didn't have to make it not that.
So for a year and a half, I'd been like
wanding around to switch channels and it was like,
this girl sits down within a second, she's like,
boop, boop, boop, and then she's just scrolling,
like it's a normal remote.
And I got to pretend like I know how to use it.
And I guess pretty cool you can do this, dude.
How'd you get it back to that setting?
You know? Show me this get it back to that setting?
I know show me this again. Show me that
Old Jewish guy. I'll do why you why do you do this? The youth these days are so good
Dude, I remember I was thinking the other day because I was I was out of red light today and this girl the scrupper girls Walk by but one of them I don't know how old she was
She or tummy was out.
She, her skin was tan.
Her hair was black.
She was holding for eyes. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha She's walking across the street and I just I had to look away like inside me
What because my I don't know what it was some age thing
Some more something that was instilled some value that I might like you know Bobby
You shouldn't look at this anymore
Yeah, look at look at the car across the street because this is not for you like a voice
Was I don't look but it made me start thinking of like when I used to have when I used to bang chicks like that
21 22
You know fucking 19 and I mean it was trouble. There was just so many words coming out of their mouth
Yeah, just so much shit was being said.
Yeah.
That you had to, but back then I think,
and I used to talk just as much.
Yeah.
And then to get naked and their bodies were just...
Body's so incredible.
Just, it's like, God, it's like, sculpted.
Yeah.
Abs and butts and vaginas and nothing smelled and nothing flapped.
And titties were, oh, just I started thinking to all these girls
That I used to bang all that like going to in comedy. I
Remember I did I did a college once and these two girls who drove me there and drove me back came to my room and
just
Sockton lick both of them bow. Oh, and I just remember doing that and you know just it was just like
If I knew that it was never you know what I mean if I knew back then that this would you know what I mean like this is gonna go away
It's a long light
On his beep
But look from the center's beep and all for sorry
And stop looking at those chick. I mean you're there again like you're there now. Yeah, right? But you're there again you get to you get to do whatever but I wasn't planning on it like I was happily married
And I was like oh my career is over right a good career, you know, I'll take it
I was a borderline holo famer maybe
Possibly possibly better Mike whatever I'm career, you know, I'll take it. I was a borderline holo famer, maybe. Possibly.
Talked about Coxman, his Coxman possibly.
Better Mike, whatever.
I'm good, you know, I'm a, that's almost like a guy, you know, that's going to retire from
sports.
I'm like, I'm good.
I did, you know, and then, and then I'm a guard.
I guess I'm back in the game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You had a, you had a, you had a come back in.
Oh, I was rusty, man.
I was, I was like, I was a, like, Randy Couture.
Oh, it was brutal.
I mean, I was like, I had to call my, my nephew's like 25, my dude. And he's like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, Randy Couture. Oh, it was brutal. I mean, I was like, I had to call my nephew, it was like 25, my dude.
He's like, what's wrong with you?
Oh my God, I lost it.
I was like, Lou Garrett looking at my hand
and probably, I'm not gonna lose it.
What's fucking, you know,
and he would coach me through it
because no, you don't do that.
You don't do that.
You gotta relearn.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
You gotta relearn how to get chicks.
So rusty.
Give me an example, like you would just just talk too much.
Yeah, or just being way too nice or whatever,
and you know, not making a move on a girl
when I should have, you know, a lot stuff.
And then with the dating apps too,
it's like, no, you got to join this, Tinder,
you got to join.
Did you do it?
Yeah, he's like, you got to join this one, join this one,
do this, set this up, write it this in here.
That's your show.
I mean, yeah.
That's your fucking show.
You never take a girl with dinner.
An ex-rocker.
An ex-rocker who got fucking married,
his whole life ripped out of his fucking hands.
Got a cool son that loves him.
More than fucking the wife that's cool as shit.
And he's got to relearn how to get push again.
Yeah, by your black nephew who teaches you?
Not the boy gonna add that.
I'm adding some color to the equation.
I thought we were gonna do a bigot diverse.
We're not getting the good idea here.
No, we got to conserve an a billionaires.
We're gonna put a black guy in.
Okay, I mean, I'll fuck a black chick in an episode.
We'll do that.
There we go.
Yeah, you like black chicks.
I haven't had any in a while. You dated Robin. we go. Yeah. You like black chicks.
I haven't had any in a while.
You dated Robin.
Yeah.
No, I always like black women.
Yeah, really?
I have no-
Yeah.
I always had black Spanish.
Yeah.
So yeah, a lot of Spanish girls like blonde hair, blue eyes had, you know, so they didn't
like the, um, I just wouldn't pitch you with Robin.
Like when I found out you were dating Robin Quivers,
I was like, how the ff?
It made me like you more,
because it was so against your type
that you think that you had.
What happened was we were on the air
and we were just bullshit,
and I just got out of the lay ship.
She just got out of one,
and Howard and Arty were there.
And they're like, oh, Robin, you're single.
I'm like, Jim, you're single.
Hey, why don't you guys go out and like,
ha, ha, ha, ha,
and 45 minutes of busting balls.
You're just, I'll go on a date, we you're fine.
Right.
And then we just hung out and we just go see each other
like once a week or whatever.
And then it turned into something a little more.
Right.
It didn't last that long, but you know,
so it wasn't like, oh my God, I'm gonna ask her out.
I'm definitely gonna, you know,
and she wasn't thinking that either.
I want to go out with him.
She's just like, oh, you know, I'll go out, yeah?
Cause I was a regular on the show.
She knew me for a while back, you know, so.
And then, you know,
so the hangman should have.
I date Robin.
Oh, she was great, man.
Yeah.
So hotty, there's a little hotty.
She's got a little plus also.
She wasn't, you know, texting every two seconds.
Where are you?
Who you with?
None of that bullshit.
She was a security self.
We're worried about that bullshit, you know.
Well, who's on the show with you?
Who do's a female on the show? You still talk to, you guys still talk? Not really. I mean, I text, I send secure in a self where you don't worry about that bullshit. Wow. Who was on the show with you? Who do's a female on the show?
You still talk?
You guys still talk?
Not really.
I mean, I text.
I sent her in a couple of emails.
How is she?
It seems like it's okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, so now you have any prospects right now?
Are you just single?
No, I'm single.
Yeah.
My son wants me to get a girlfriend.
He's like, you got to get a girlfriend.
I'm like, I mean, this is a show.
I mean, right?
It's really, because I think that kid is many.
You got 50% of the people in America that are divorced, right?
So you got 50% of the dude, or the married people,
and 50% of dudes are gonna watch this show,
like, yo, I've done this exact same thing.
I've asked my nephew to help me.
How do I date again?
What the hell is going on?
Yeah, but you gotta be an ex-rocker, dude.
You can't be.
What he is?
I told him saying, that's what he is. What are you fucking singing be an ex rocker, dude. You can't be. What is I'm saying?
Yeah, what is what he is? What are you fucking singing for? That's what he is. Listen, I talk
with passion and emotion. I, well, this is the show. I'm in. I'm in. Let's get it done.
Let's get the billionaire. Lenny me and Lenny are going to write it. You're going to sell it.
I got you. And you're going to star in it. Call Chris Evans right now. Chris, we got a show.
Can I play your manager? How great it was. call Chris Evans right great Chris. We got a show can I play your a manager
How great who's if Chris heard this and was like I like to show let's do it. You know he gets literally if if Chris did that
He that's the power I want well imagine that you know many people I would help you if he's in it
If I was if I was sandwich that powerful right now. Yeah, yeah, I would take your fucking show. Yeah, buddy
I take your you're you're you're you're you're you're
What was it called again vendors? Oh
Four for one for four one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right and I fucking I put it on it. I do it. I'd make it so it was on TV
I take this show. Yeah, I'd do it. We get it done. You'd be broke very soon
You'd be broke very soon. Yeah.
Well, it's, let's see if you can do it.
I wouldn't put my money into it.
I just use my cloud to get networks to how you want.
Oh, you wouldn't put my money in.
Well, let's see, maybe the premium service will take off for you
and you can fund our shows.
I make some good money off of that.
Well, this is what you do.
You know what?
I want, you don't have premium fans.
Yeah, I do.
How many you got?
Seven.
How many people in this room?
I got 14.
No, you know what?
The premium thing, it's a good, it's a...
No, it is, absolutely.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
But I'm also, there's other things we're researching too.
Because we are trying, it's funny because you do want to make money.
You got to make money off of these podcasts.
You can't do this stuff.
You want to do it.
You got to do it for free.
It's got to be available free for people. Because you can't just say you have to buy it. I don't believe in that.
But you have to give them the option to support you. Correct. Because your fans do want to support.
They want to support you. And they do. And they do. But your fans do. Right. Or if you...
But then they come to a show, they buy a ticket, they buy merchandise, that works too.
Yep. Yeah. But you think they come to a show, they should do all of it.
No, it should. I think more people are buying stuff now,
you know, 10, 15 years ago, everyone used to steal it,
wouldn't pay for it.
I think as people hit like, you know,
early 30s, mid 30s, they're starting to make some money.
Ah, I'll pay it, 10 bucks a month, whatever.
And whatever it is, I'll buy this, I'll buy that.
I know I used to steal, because I had no money,
and I was an asshole, but I'll pay now.
It's no big deal. So you're getting more people to pay for stuff
You just gotta give me option. I think it always should be free for people that can't or can't anymore
You know what I mean? You you know give it free and the people but you should always give them a little something extra for people
Who will do it? I think more people will do the eventually the what is it paywall. I just think it's so new
that the I and there people so accustomed to free people come up to me and say dude I'm a
premium member proudly because they know that they're supporting and it helps. Yeah and I get
I got to pay this fucking hump over here. This beautiful guy. Zach. Yeah. Who is you know working
as asshole Lauren. You know what I mean mean we have fucking you know, I got that
You know the shit cost me a lot of money to fucking you know, we got ship chipper's in his carrying the network
He's killing it or what? Yeah, let me take something to show huge. Oh my god. I can't believe how big it is
What what is he doing?
He's hit I mean mean, people love it. Women, children, men, all races,
all creeds. Nobody, everybody loves chips except for me. You guys need to have an intervention
podcast. My wife's favorite person on that word. Chipchippers. Oh, really. By far, by far,
buddy, he the show. I saw a clip. It was hilarious. But listen, Jim
Norman puts a lot. This is not just a he there's a lot of effort and work that
goes into it. He's a vet. This is he is a hard work guy. And he works. He cares. I've
never seen somebody care so much about the fans of this character. Yeah. This guy. He
really every decision they're in on, right, whether they know
it or not, right? You know, so, you know, but, you know, his, but in all seriousness, if
he, he carries network, when this show takes off and your show takes off and then it's
show, and that elevates the riot cast network to something you, somebody will pick it up
as far as like, yeah, your AMC that's breaking bad.
No, absolutely. That's what that's the whole foundation of this podcast network is that we would help comics.
We'd all help each other and then we can help each other at some point.
Fucking, you know, let's let's Jim. Let's get Jim a show. Let's get someone's going to pop.
Let's get Lenny a show. Let's exactly people will go, oh, I love this guy.
I love that guy. Stuff like that.
If it's generating enough income and you could do the work yourself,
you could film a pilot episode of Jim's thing.
And look, I'll tell you this.
Jim is doing great, but he's not, I mean,
look, he says he's caring.
He's not caring the network at all.
I'm Joe's show.
I know, but I mean,
but no, because I want to make sure that other shows get the credit
that they deserve.
They still hold network.
You got to know what I mean.
Jim show is a fucking killer. My show.
What does he do? Dante show is a fucking killer.
What does he do? Numbers wise.
Can you share that?
Yeah, he does.
17 people.
Let's put it this way.
He got 100,000 views on his one of his videos on a video.
Just the video.
So he got a incredible 100,000 views on a video.
He sold out the on the ground in like 12 minutes.
Yeah, he literally sold it out in 12 minutes.
On the phone.
He put it up.
It was gone.
Just gone.
It was amazing.
I mean, incredible.
Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous.
It's a guy that doesn't exist.
Well, I heard that he did the meet and greet after the show in character.
Yes, but he did a fuck.
He did it now.
He did an hour and a half meet,
but which is long as the show in character after the fucking.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I was there for the first, well, 40 minutes.
This is funny.
Is anything I've ever seen?
It's the one of the funniest things I've ever.
They get it.
They kind of play a lot.
The they get the character.
They play along with it.
They understand what's happening and they still
They this is this why norens great the video of that night is being edited now, but he's given it away for free
That's incredible to me that's something where you can put me on a paywall. Yeah, why would that's where anybody would just rape the fans
I just be like any any any was like, you know what no, just give it to him. Give it away because the fans do
You know they like, you know what? No, just give it to him. Give it away because the fans do You know, they they will you know
I know that they'll support him and his you know crew and stuff like that. You want to grow it
Any any any like a charge impedes growth, right? If you give it away for free. Hey, you got to check this out. Share it share it
All right, we're gonna wrap this up guys. Uh fucking great. I mean really great show. Yes, it's fun
I Jim thanks come we show. Yes, it's fun.
I, uh, Jim, thanks for coming.
We come on again, dude.
Probably.
Probably.
What do you mean, dude?
You don't like it?
Yeah, of course I will.
You always do it on Tuesdays.
Tuesday nights.
But I do either do the afternoon's
but the night ones that I invite you to.
Yeah.
The night ones are better for you, right?
Yeah.
Just like a night guy. I don't think I've ever seen you in the morning. You know I'm friends with really good
Sully about it seven in the morning. Well, no, but I mean I just feel like you're in your element until I would say
Night time, you know, I'm really good friends with Sully from God's Mac. He's great. He's fucking a great guy
Yeah, well, I mean he's one of those rockers those famous people that I have no he's just a regular dude
Yeah, he shows up on my show like eight deep when I'm in Boston really oh
Eight deep just fucking right up front
Love that guy's awesome. All right Jim Florentine
September 22nd and 23rd Uncle Vinnie's
September 29th you're gonna be at Ventura Harbor Comedy Club
Ventura California with Kate, fucking whoever. Quickly.
Who's that?
She Australian?
She's hot.
Is she?
Oh!
No, I'm just saying no.
I know what you saying.
She's a female comic from LA.
Yeah, she's hot.
She's hot, yeah.
Super.
I think I heard about her.
She's really funny, yeah.
Yeah, I heard about that.
October 6th and 7th, Rising Star, Casino.
Where the fuck is that?
It's outside of like Cincinnati,
like 20 minutes outside of Cincinnati.
All right. Great.
Well, you got a bunch of dates on here.
Go to Jim Florentine dot com.
I got the house tour.
Is that the, is that really the
yeah, so then yeah, scroll all the way up to the top.
You'll see the poster.
Yeah, that's it.
Right here.
Yeah.
Sure. So you're talking about getting divorced.
He's talking about. I've talked, I've talked about it. Is it
okay? Is it legal to do that? Yeah, I can do whatever I want. Wow.
That's the worst thing in the world for somebody to get divorced to a
comic, because you know, they they're just gonna have a whole hour of what a fucking twat you are. Wow. All right, Andrew. And that's my
book. Where is that coming out? I'm February. That's a cover. Everybody is awful. Dude,
you're one of the funniest guys going, man. You're I mean, anytime I hear you on radio,
it's you get fine. I mean, just you have fucking take on shit is ridiculous. Thank you.
Ridiculous.
Except you.
The kid in the girl people love Jim Florentine.
What does that have to do with fucking anything?
They just they they call me and tell me about his rants.
I love Jim's rants.
Are they on Ryancast? No, no, no, but it's like I just said I love Jim's rant. Are they on Ryancast?
No.
No, but it's like, I just said I love them, right?
How much I love them.
And then he goes, Keith and the girl love.
See, he went up to her love.
Hey, just on another, it's like,
why?
That's like saying, that's like saying, you know,
okay.
I mean, right?
Am I on the line?
My uncle and, huh?
Georgia, like some, what?
No, no, no just they're huge
It's like we're I know I know they are we're wrapping it up, but I'm like I love you dude you're great
They're huge I'm saying I'm I
Specifically call me to tell me have you ever listen to Jim Florentine? I'm like yeah, he's amazing
Yeah, but why don't you say you love?
I don't know he knows I love it. What are you talking about? I'm like Like his biggest fan? Why do you gonna say why is this always have to be a fight just say yeah?
Why do why do you why can't you just say I think he's great?
I think he's great to that's like me saying dude. I was talking to fucking I can I was I was talking to Keith Robinson and he thinks you're great too
It's like what the fuck does that mean I'm in hell
Why is there always have to be a fight? I know people love him, I love him, you love him.
Just say you love him.
Andrew, you love Jim?
Yes.
I've got this really cool comedy project out right now.
Thank God.
It's on, oh my God, Jesus Christ, you look like Mr. Rogers.
What is that?
What is that picture, dude?
It'll be clean, God.
Oh no, I gotta change it, I guess.
I, uh-huh.
Where is, where is this project?
Is it on your video? No, go to just my homepage. I'll go. It's the front homepage, uh, where is, where is this project? Is it on your videos?
No, go to just my homepage.
Oh, yeah.
It's the front homepage.
There's a clip right here, right?
Yeah, brilliant idiots.
And that podcast is huge.
Yeah, we got a big one, man.
That's cool, man.
It's been, I started, I started two other ones.
What do they call one?
It's called Wester Bros.
Yeah.
And I just have me in a couple of my like, just douchebag friends.
We talk about, yeah, we talk about, uh, about a game of thrones but like just like a very rowy douchey take on
this nerd show. And now we're doing a couple other shows as well, Stranger Things and
right. I think we'll do it Lanna. And then I just started we just started a sports podcast
called Flagrant 2. So me, Akash Singh and guy named life, life cast, cast. And so that comes on every, every Tuesday.
That's great.
Yeah.
So for the loudspeakers network, check it out.
I love it.
You know, I really got into bar stool, guys.
Yeah, right.
I can't fucking believe how great I do.
I mean, I do it.
It's a review thing.
I can't, I will, I would watch that all day long.
Yeah.
It's been when he goes one bite, everybody knows the rules.
And he takes seven bites. I fucking every time it makes me happy. One bite every
nose of rules, seven bites. They kill it. Yeah, they're they're slid right in like you know,
ESPN is like so politically correct and like there's so politically everything right now.
Bar stool slid right in they don't go fuck up politics. They dress up dog up in a Brady
Jersey trick and Dunkin Donuts and people go fucking crazy. They're just being unapologetically
no. And then a one trash and Roger Gidell and had those the towels opening day. Yeah.
Look at that with the clown nose on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I'll tell the future fans and waving them as Gidell's at the game. Yeah. So Bostles.
Yeah. Kickin. ESPN's. Jesus Christ, they're fucking kicking ass.
Because people who watch sports, they're fucking men.
Like, we're guys, we're not offended by things, right?
So I'm drawn to the people who are gonna have
a similar sentiment to me, and I just gonna be these barstools.
Yeah, but I love the guy too,
because he's not a phony, the guy who does the pizza reviews,
because he walks out of a place, he goes,
you know what, these people, they fucking,
15 minutes for a pizza, an hour and a place goes, you know what? These people, they fuck it. 15 minutes for pizza an hour and
a half later takes one bite, 0.9. Tardiness. And it's just like, you know, when you do a review
of something and everybody's like, well, you know, it's I'd say a five but he's like Because you were late. Oh funny guy funny. Yeah
So yeah, you just get click there and then boom watch it just this right here
And click right there and let's see what the beginning sounds like
Okay, oh you guys
What is this the ad that's where you know it's doing good when you have ads. Oh, yeah, yeah, you got audio
Oh, I got audio is this gonna be bad for you. No, it's good. It's fun. It's just actually turn it up. Yeah, it'll be good
There's you got to turn it up
That's the sound of the greatest comedy city in the world
New York City Why sound of the greatest comedy city in the world, New York City.
Why is it the greatest?
Because it's normal for us to perform at four different clubs, do four different sets
all in one single night.
And that's exactly what I'm about to show you right now.
This is not a comedy special, it's not a comedy documentary, this is a comedy experience.
Welcome to the world of a New York comic.
I hope you enjoy the fuck out of it. They shout out to school for the same reason. I'm not making this up. Every one of them said they did it because they weren't getting a pussy.
That's a fact.
Now, should it we appreciate the teachers, the fuck the kids?
All right, I'm gonna say this right off the gate.
You're a good-looking guy.
Oh, thank you.
What the fuck this kid has just looks shit-not-of-his-face.
Hi, cheekbones.
Talk glass of water.
He was gonna move me start back in the day.
Thank you.
The pussy you must be getting is fucking.
Do you have a girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.
I'm saying I like a girlfriend. You got to wrap it.
You're going to get AIDS.
You're something bad. I've been. Yeah.
I've been trying to write straight mail. I've ever got AIDS.
Huh? That's what I'm saying. He's that good looking.
He's fucking dudes. I'm getting both.
I'll get a sign. He's he's boning guys. He's got to go find he's got to do that. He's to have that good looking. He's fucking dudes. I'm getting both of you. I'm gonna say. He's boning guys.
He's gotta go.
He's gotta do that.
He's to have that good looking.
And it's not even gay.
It's just sex to him.
It's friction.
This looks great.
I'm gonna stay with the chicks for now.
Now, can I give you one critique?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The opening you should have had somebody else do.
You should have, you should have
Charlemagne or somebody famous.
Great call. Do the opening. Great call.
Because that would have been like that kind of that's then it goes to you and it's like
and you know and just make it about you. Cool. Yeah. Because you know you're talking about
yourself is cool. But if you had that out of the voice. Yeah. I tried to talk about New York
not me. But I hear what you're saying. Like it would have it would add production value to have
like a big thing. What's the fourth club? Comedy Cell Stand Up New York Comedy Club.
And Comic Strip.
Oh, Comic Strip, I'm not pretty sure.
Is that what the mediocre set was?
It was okay.
This is so short, so I just picked bits that like really
they killed, right?
They did well.
I mean, so here's the thing,
some of these rooms, there's only 40, 50 people here.
Yeah.
You know, so it's, yeah, you don't,
it's not just like 400 people going,
they don't know why I am these people.
Where is this guy with this shot right here?
He's at the table.
Yeah, but this, this call, that's all they pulled in.
Well, you always pulled in, he's in the back of the room, yeah.
Looks great.
Yeah.
You went a lot, you got him.
Now, what is this shot on you know like a 4k
So we got Alexis
Comics watching that's a fucking joke comics watching a video of your set. Nope, nope.
Well, I'll throw up.
See, we would never do it.
Nope.
But because we are so viscerally against it,
I feel like going to make me to check that out.
Yeah, we cry for an hour.
Oh, that would be terrible.
So because then you're worse, you take,
you have a tape show and you kill,
and then you listen to it the next day,
you're like, oh, I didn't do that good at all.
No, yeah, absolutely. I'm a sociopath. Oh I did I did
pretty mediocre. I thought I was way better than the middle of it. Actually I
wasn't. I watched Norton's last special. My son wanted to watch because he
knows Jim and my son is dying laughing at his jokes and I'm just watching
you know when he's like that how come he not laughing. I go I go he goes you
don't think it's funny. I go no I do. He's like yeah but you know not laughing like I am. I'm like he goes, you don't think it's funny? I go, no, I do. He's like, yeah, but you're not laughing like I am.
I'm like, because I'm going, that was good.
That was good.
Like, you joke about the school shooters.
Lucy, I'm like, that's a good joke.
That's how we laugh.
I know, so he was like, but you're not laughing like I am.
Yeah.
Crazy.
We have to do that.
We have to bring comics in.
It's the way you watch the other thing.
And camp because you'll literally lose fans.
If you actually let fans know what a fucking,
just a fucking shallow hack we all have.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to fucking do that.
Why is it Lenny's website now coming up?
His energy.
That's a funny thing about misery loves company.
Everybody thought Lenny was the company
He wasn't he was part of the misery. He was just a different misery if you ever see Lenny get off stage
He is fucking sick of himself
He's just bullshit. Um, you can come over here and do this. Um, he's gonna show you matter. I'll tell him I'll be here all weekend
All right, all right forget it forget it. He's gonna be you a matter. I'll tell him I'll be here all weekend. All right. All right.
Forget it. Forget it. He's gonna be there. Where are you gonna be?
There's not gonna be a there's comedy seller all weekend. Yep.
If you want to come down on. Oh, here we go. Look at that nice.
Well, did you make this website? Yes, I did.
The chip powder calendar.
Why do you have the chip podcast on you? Because he has me come on.
It's a placeholder. If you know what I'm saying.
I have you come on. Where's my fucking holder?
It's a placeholder if you know what I'm saying. I have you come on. Where's my fucking holder? It's a placeholder
Teppler, hello. What's that mean?
We're you telling me we okay. Yeah, I gotta tell you this
We're very excited to it like on riot cast. We don't we don't just bring on shows a lot of networks
We just bring on whoever the fuck says hey, can we yeah? Yeah?
We only bring on shows we the shows we have were very thought out.
Right.
And it's for a reason.
Sure.
We have a new show at Lenny coming out.
Hot.
Lenny, Lenny and Neil Brennan.
Can you imagine if I did it with both brothers?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Neil, I didn't get that.
Company, company talks about misery.
I didn't get company company talks about misery
I'm doing it with a Neil
He's doing it with his friend Neil it's called it's called four corners podcast
Lundy Marcus and Neil Potter Potter. Oh, it's real. Yeah, he's the best. He's the best.
So what's the podcast going to be about?
Paul, call it Clint the best.
It's okay.
Neil's all right.
What's the podcast going to be about?
It's Ford Topics.
We change topics every 15 minutes.
That's the hour.
Listen, I've done the show.
It's very quick.
It's very fast, but it's, you literally get into these topics immediately.
And you're, you know, you, and then it being, you go into the next topic.
We have a bell.
Bing, if 15 minutes, you get cut off.
I mean, listening to the show, when you listen to it, why is it, you've done it before?
I've done it.
We've had 20 in the can.
We just waiting Bobby wanted it, so we waited to release it.
Oh, because it's evergreen.
Yes. So it's not topical stuff.
It ever so slightly will get topical every once in a while,
but you would in most 98% of that's great for paywall, by the way,
yeah, because there's still value to the show.
Yes. Yeah. His I love I love doing the show. You should do it.
Do you have yet? I would love that. Have you had an
Androon? I have a list of people we are trying to get to
come on. These people to the top.
Yes, I would love you guys to come in a little bit more
In October we have we have those two days off, you know, and four days off. We it's killing my September schedule, but yeah, I'll
Tore it out. Yeah, of course I want Jim on I
Everything I want you and Andrew of course, Andrew. So we get you to come. I don't have a six. I can't see like I'm not known in this space
I want every.
This is what the difference is.
This is very inclusive.
We want everybody and not only comics,
but we want all walks of life.
You know, we'll get singers.
And like anybody can add value to this.
It's just quick and opinionated.
And at the end, we play, you know, like our fourth corner
is usually some sort of game or fun thing.
We didn't do it with Bob, because we had so much to talk about.
But like Bob and I kind of created a game the other day
about when we were going through the fall preview guide.
And I said, what do you think about these shows?
We just started talking about the shows.
So we must have killed 45 minutes.
We could do fun for free.
But I came up with a game called,
is this a show or is this not a show?
Is this not a real show?
Yeah.
Do you want to play a game?
Star Trek.
So the new Star Trek coming out.
Sure.
Black, the lead is a black woman.
Right.
And he started cringing and it was like,
I mean, I mean, I go, oh, fuck me.
Political correctness, captain Kirk most iconic mother fucker ever.
But what they did is number one, they're making the show, I believe,
serialized. So they're fighting the Klingons through the whole series. Right. Okay, which
is real. It's not just flight. The Klingons won episode and the green people, the next and
the fuzzy people. They're fighting. So it's more of a story arc, like a game of thrones,
which is great. Right. They're using the space from like Battlestar Galactica
that fucking movie space on TV, which I love.
I hate TV space.
I like movie space on TV.
And she's not the captain, she's the first officer.
So she's not the captain.
She's not replacing Captain Kirk.
The story follows this first officer.
Not saying that it's just like, I hate when they go back in and fucking rewrite history.
Yeah, I know.
But this is actually a whole new concept, which I'm, what did I tell you, man?
I think it's cool to watch this TV.
That's funny.
It's funny.
You say that.
So anyway, we would do that.
We would, if we did this and talk about the fall preview, paying next one, we're talking
about water bottle.
So you're going to do it once a week.
You already have 20.
We have 20.
We either do once a week or twice a week.
We haven't worked out the details.
We're going to, whatever they want.
We can buy you that.
It's so quick.
It's so it goes like this.
It's like candy.
It's like that.
It's hard.
Yeah, it's hard.
No, no, no, when you're listening, it sounds.
I'm going to listen.
I'm going to listen.
I'm going to listen.
It really is.
When you listen, because I listen to all, you know, the shows, I have to listen to all
the shows every once in a while.
I don't listen to them all all the time.
Did you hit me bad mountain the last week?
Did you really?
What did you say?
You didn't hear it.
No, I don't listen to you listen to all the shows.
No, you didn't listen to me.
You didn't hear what I said.
What did you say?
I listen to all the shows every once in a while because I have to hear what the content
is and how, but I don't listen to them all the time.
I listen to a few here and there. Nick DePaul don't listen to them all the time. Of course not.
I listen to a few here and there.
Nick DePaul's I listen to them,
but not all the time,
because I just don't have time.
But his show, some shows a long,
my show is a long haul.
This will last you the week, my show.
Because it's two hours, we're going from here to there.
You can stop it, go take a shit,
go back, listen to it tomorrow.
Lenny's, this thing's, you, you, from front to back, you you you from front to back you know and also if you don't like the for what
we're talking about this skip ahead 15 minutes and we got something else so can I
play one with you yeah god real quick play with Jim all three all three you okay
all right so this game is called new show or not new show okay for the fall so
is this a show that's gonna be on TV right now in the fall or not called seal team. Jason Hayes has given his life to a Navy sealed team as life
is in tatters. So is relationship. So is this relationship to child, but it's tough
as nails mentality is starting to show cracks. Is that a show coming out this fall or not?
Yes, Jim. No. Andrew. Yes, that's a show that's going to be on CBS.
So we would do games like this.
How about I'll give you one more.
Yeah.
Okay, it's called hot date.
Hit the bell.
What's the bell for?
Well, the bell is just a start to segment.
The show is called hot date.
The latest web series to successfully make a leap to TV, explore the idiosyncrasies.
No.
What happens if you do the bell?
And relationship of a dating?
Like if you're doing any hotel room and you
figure out the show. Tell me if this is going to be a show.
Not a show. The latest web series to make it to lead to TV
explore the relationships of dating and stars Emily
Axford and Brian K Murphy AKA Murph. No, Jim. No. Bob Jim
didn't know where you so I didn't I
I said no
Like that. What is that that's a true show? What is it really? Yes, what is hot TV?
You ever hear that no that was my point of this one the hot TV
It's a network that none of us have ever heard of but there was a show on what is the point of you a fucking miserable face on the front page
Your website why are you so mad? I'm not mad.
Bring, can you please show that?
It's sardonic.
It's not what?
What I tell you about those words.
What I tell you about those words.
Is that what he looks like when he gets off stage?
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
Literally murdered.
Just murdered at the village underground.
It's that evening.
Murdered him.
He walks off.
That was all right.
All right. The fucking place is That was all right. All right.
The fucking place is shaken.
This is a great pain.
Did you get this from when you worked for the Corcoran group?
I fucking hate that you.
Everybody else used tour and you put calendar
like it's 1992.
Calendar because it's legitimately a calendar.
You should put your real shit
and that you have to do there.
Like a therapist.
I told you, you should actually put your meetings your real shit that you have to do there. Like a therapist. I told you
actually put your meetings. I love that you're I wish the next photo was you on the pavement
after this photo. Wait, it's good. You look like Jewish Christian Bill. Thanks. This is a great photo.
It's a great photo. Yeah, it's taken by Angela Saga. You remember she used to work at the
seller's great photographer. When did she take that? I couple years ago years ago. Well, you hang on the ledge outside my apartment on the balcony. Oh,
That's a great photo. Okay, Lenny. Where are you gonna be?
The comedy seller you could see it there all weekend. There's the this weekend right here
Okay, so you're at the comedy seller all weekend Friday and Saturday nice New York comedy club in there
Yeah, all right
Lenny Marcus and his new podcast, Four Corners,
is coming to Riotcast very soon.
We have another announcement to make on Riotcast, too.
We got a bunch of stuff.
The chip show will be up live this week.
His merch will be up this week for you guys to buy.
Jim Florentine's podcast is one of the originals
on the network. And I think one of the originals on the network and
I think one of the fucking to me as far as podcast go it's
One of the original type of podcasts that it goes by quick like you said and it's it's fucking interesting and shit You're one of the funniest guys out there. Not just on stage. Just personally your take on shit
Is just how do you're taken shit is
just how do you do it by yourself? Cause he's a certain people can, I'm made to do by
themselves. Yeah, if I could find something that just annoys me, I can go off on it. I could
just figure it out. I'm like, I just will this one. I'm just fucking riff. Do you ever have
any guests? Once in a while, but I was on people on like guests. They want me to just
rant different shit. I've had bands on, I've had other comics on,
and I don't like it.
They won't even listen to that one.
What did you ran about last week?
Yeah, well, about like the moms at the bus stops,
I got a kid and they all got these fucking signs.
Now they hold up.
My kid is going to the first grade.
They have make them hold a sign
and they post it on social media.
My son Luke is going in the first grade and he wants to be an astronaut when he
gets older. So then they post it on Facebook, my kid look how big he's getting. You know,
yes, so they all do that. So every year they posted, you know, kindergarten first grade,
second grade. Oh boy. You know what I mean? So all the moms at my bus stop, we're doing that.
I'm the only dad out there because most of them, them dads are working. Do you run into that a lot?
I don't have to sign I don't have to sign like where's your sign? I go already know my kids name
Yeah, I know what grade grade is going to be like yeah, yeah, don't I like me, but they know okay
Hey, they have a listen to your podcast you trashing probably
I usually wait a couple weeks. That's why I said forget if they're gonna listen that week
I wonder if he's gonna say anything then I put it on the phone week
They probably don't like the greatest things ever stories ever is fucking Jim
Social media smashing this fat fuck sit next to him on a plane and the guy was a fan. Yeah, yeah
Tell the story well, yeah, cuz it was just when Twitter came out to I think it was
And this guy was sitting next to me and the emergency exit and he was the huge fat guy and I'm just fucking bitching about him. This
fat guy's looking at my arm, like a much more realistic, whatever. I'm just saying a little
stupid shit. And he just told me he was dude, I'm a fan. Oh cool. And I, but at first he
said I'm a fan, I'm like, okay, cool. But I didn't put it together. Right. I didn't
put it together at first. And then he said,
Oh my God, that is the greatest episode of any show ever. Yeah, and he's like, I follow you on Twitter, man.
And I'm like, I gotta do it, I'm just messing around,
you know what it is.
He's like, yeah, yeah, he's like,
he's like, he's like, he's like,
yeah, it's cool, man, I gotta go look,
I just, you know how you,
I can't make you make things bigger, you know,
you overblow. And then we started talking for like about 10 minutes and then we're playing thing
Well, it was a six hour flight. He then it really sat in just sunk into on what I did
And then there was just complete silence six hours before you took off
Because that's when I had service on my phone and I was fucking pounding him. I had like 10 fat jokes in a row.
It was fucking pounding him.
It was fucking me.
It's terrible.
And he didn't look at me like this guy.
I know me, I had no idea.
That is the greatest story ever.
And then the rest of the, he was fucking miserable
of us in a fight.
Like he's like this fuck.
Like at first like, no, that's cool man.
Whenever we just started talking,
I'd show you whatever. And then, yeah, that's cool man whenever we just got a talk you I've saw you
Whatever and then yeah, that's awesome. I didn't even got to go to the bathroom the rest of the family
This flat fuck's not gonna let me get by anyway
Check it out. I'm gonna be this week and I got this great live. You know what dude podcast
You know what I had you know I want to bitch about a little bit.
Is this on on your calendar page?
No, this is on my tours.
I don't I don't know.
What is mine called?
You know what?
I'm a fan just so you know, but I sucked because my my web guys are fucking jack fuck.
He's he didn't change it to 2017.
He left 2016.
I got a almost 2018. I'm gonna talk about it. I don't want to talk about it.
He's had a fight. I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
Spray paint effect doesn't work with an 8.
I fuck off. I get a talk to him.
That's what happens to you. Web guy is fuck anyways.
He's a party podcast.
I'm gonna just cut out the deer and then you have to worry about ever changing
I don't talk about it. Please. I'm just telling you how to avoid this you know to avoid it
Yeah, get a fucking new web guy. Yeah, all right listen so the Friday night me on his poppest in
In fine finance finance. Yeah worst name ever
Finance finance. Yeah, where's name ever?
Yeah.
Pizza party podcast, federal hill.
This I was nervous about this gig.
I was shit in my pants about this gig.
I'm like, it's a pizza place.
There's gonna be kids.
What did I get myself into?
It's a mob on some Italian guys, and they're gonna
fuck them make me.
I see you on the thing, my daughter loves you.
And I'm gonna, it's a great, they took over a theater.
That's why I love Rhode Island Providence, Rhode Island
Great, there's one of the greatest creative fucking towns out there. They love arts. They love creativity. Yeah, I love it
Food's great foods insane
So they have this they they bought this movie theater put it in a pizza place in it and they have a backroom
With a stage and have so we're gonna do this great fucking pizza party podcast in the back of
this thing. It's going to be great. YKW podcast. My this podcast, me,
Yannis Poppis, Chris Gopo, Ian Finance, Finance, and myself. And I think one of
the owners who's a tying guy supposed to be having a character, it's gonna be a great time.
It's this Friday night, the next night, the 23rd in Boston,
some of the theater, I'm accepting comic at the year
for the Boston Comedy Festival, Friday, Saturday,
and Sunday that festival's going on, I believe.
And then next week, I'm at Side Splitters, baby.
I love Side Splitters.
Love it. Love it. I was just then next week I'm at Side Splitters, baby. I love socks. But I love it.
Love it.
November. I was just talking to who was I. Oh, Sam Morrell went there.
You know, he was like, Oh, it's fucking, you know, they're
hecklers, they're drunk. I'm like, you know what? I love it.
I'm first of all, the guy who runs at the manager there.
He, he, you know, fuck around. He knows the way I like the room.
And he just fucking handles it.
Doesn't let anybody fucking gap anybody says he shuts him the fuck down.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, I love it.
Side's put is I'm saying I see Mike Calta, which I love punchline Philly.
After that, I'm all over the flake to coma Washington.
The tree house laugh it up.
A kipsy can't wait to do that room.
I'm at the bed.
I'm in the Bennington Art Center Center for Odds. I'm all over the fucking place. Go to my website
Robert Kelly live dot com for all my dates. Check it out. I'm going to San Diego. I'm going
to fucking Timonium, fucking Maryland. I'm going to be in Vermont, Indianapolis, all over
the place. Go to my website, get tickets tickets now and thank you all the premium members of this
I love you. Thank you for supporting the show for all these years all the people that came out in Buffalo who listened to my podcast
The support is fucking unbelievable. I love you guys the death. I want to we got two new one on ones going up for the premium members this week
one on one's going up for the premium members this week.
One's with Chad. I did one with Chad. Really good episode. And I did one with John Ailes tonight.
The actor that played rehab in sex drugs and rock and roll.
It's all about acting and auditioning because he's an actor.
And he's he's got just a great take on how to book shit, how to get roles.
You know, I know how to get certain roles.
Dinner rolls. What?
I got I got a bonus podcast
going up with Chris Evans. He got back to me right away. Christ really makes me sad.
I'm going to have to call him. Yeah, Captain America. Who said that? Oh my god. I thought
there was a girl in this fucking stuity. Oh, Jesus. I thought there was a girl in this. Dude. Literally thought that was a woman in this fucking stuity.
Oh Jesus.
I want to thank Lenny Andrew.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Jim.
Good luck on Lenny's podcast. I'm excited.
It's going to be great.
Yeah, absolutely.
I can't wait.
And Zach, thanks so much.
What do you got, Zach?
Zach, the new guy.
That is it.
That's his name on Twitter.
He's kicking ass.
This fucking kids grace.
Nice. I love him. Thank you so much for having me, man. Yeah, you guys got it. And make sure name on Twitter. He's kicking ass. This fucking kids grace. I love him.
So that's it. Yeah, you guys got it and make sure you get Andrew's special out there. Check it out on his website free watch it share it
I would love that thing. All right, you know what?
Listening to YKWD podcast
Thanks for listening
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