Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Allucinate
Episode Date: March 11, 2019The Legend Rich Vos and The Rattlesnake Luis J Gomez join Bobby for a killer YKWD! We unveil some Skankfest secrets, forget what’s on our phones, and leave out letters in this can’t miss episode! ...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on lot. But it was a part of history.
This year, we have three full days of skank festivities. June 21st through 23rd at Brooklyn Bazaar in Brooklyn, New York.
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Jake the Snake Robert, Doug Benson, Tony Hinchclips, the God damn comedy jam,
Robert Kelly, Bonnie Mithfarlin, Rich Voss, Anthony Kumiashow, believe you me with Michael
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Pickets are on sale now at skankfestnyc.com. NYC dot com you a
a
a
a
a
we're here
we got a
fucking full house
we're saying people every week
let me finish the sentence
you fucking shit audience
there's this tell we got we got a full house of ykwd crew tonight it's called my coffee what's that it's called my coffee you want to why do you have to you can have this you want that
I didn't say the coffee look I didn't even sip that one anyways can you talk to the microphone it is
a fucking live fucking recording.
This is live recording?
Can you put your headphones on,
so you know how loud you are?
I can hear it right now, perfect.
I hate you.
I dropped my voice.
Mike, we got Becky, Gabby's back from being sick
and being an LA, being a Badusa.
What's up?
A Badusa?
You were a fucking Badusa in LA.
You were a fucking Badusa.
A Badusa.
You were a Badusa. We got mushy Mike who was doing gigs came back just a little chubbier
Yeah, a lot of fucking Mexican food with you away, huh? Yeah, Oscar's mom's restaurant. Oh, that was the best restaurant
I've ever eaten at yeah, what's that noise?
What's that noise? Why am I hearing me?
noise why am I hearing me? That was me. God you not do that again. I was having a stroke. I heard myself going gabbies back. Oh here comes live on air and I just gave raw shit for not putting
stuff on air and my fucking death is gonna be on air. Which will make everybody so lucky.
Really is that what you want? Not at all. You know what? You can say that to me on the phone all
the time but I never said that to you once. You've said it to me a lot. I've never said that. I wish my death.
Never.
You know why?
Why?
Because it's due to happen now.
I don't want to be on my conscience.
Why did you just jump like a fucking oldie?
Oh, well, what are you doing?
Why is she calling during the broadcast?
Hold on, Bonnie, yeah.
Why would you answer it? Because it's my wife. She doesn't want to talk to you.
She's calling you because she has to. I want to, I asked her to my wife. And in case
something bad is happening, there's some emergency. I always answer my calls.
What, Bonnie, what's the emergency?
No, I sent him a picture when the movie got it.
I hate everybody.
Hang him.
I'm excited by it.
What are you sending it?
I hope it's of divorce papers.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, so look at it now.
I'm going to find the photo.
You would Steve Bird.
Oh.
Hold on.
I see the pictures coming out.
This is just, don't worry, we're going.
We're going.
Oh, it's me, you and Patrice in the car.
Oh, God.
I had this picture.
I've seen this picture a million times.
You are the fucking, most anti-climactic asshole I know.
All that for fucking a photo of you your wife and a dead guy
Sorry Georgia. I'm sorry everybody
What are this? Oh shut up. We talked about this before I know I didn't put it in the aquarium though
I never saw that yeah Yeah, you did.
Someone else said that I swore to God.
It really not you.
No, it wasn't you.
No, I swore to God, it wasn't me.
No, you had to talk with quarantine.
Oh, sorry.
I was going to take a slanty.
I'm like, you're no glass of that.
That's fucking Jersey trash.
Thank you.
What's that?
You're doing 14 Jersey trash.
Same fucking thing.
Okay.
So anyways, yes, I'm back.
We're back.
I'm glad to have the whole crew back.
It's good to see you guys.
And Voss is here.
We got, who's coming in?
Lewis.
Lewis J Gomez is doing a spot around the corner, came early.
And was like, should I leave and go do a spot?
We said, why don't you go do the spot?
Where's he doing a spot?
Pushy Cat, the push it. The push that. How's he doing the spot? Pushy cat, the pussy.
The pussy.
I knew he'd get in there.
He's into the cellar.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, she uses them once in three months, but she uses them.
No.
He's over at the pussy cat.
Good for him.
What do you mean?
You're in the cellar too.
Why would you say it like that?
A good for him, because I haven't seen him around there.
So I like to see people I like working at clubs.
Yeah.
That work.
Because it's fun to hang out with people you like.
Right.
I've got to hang out with him and some of those fucking dead weights
at the table that have, you know, you say anything to him.
They get hurt or they're just fucking, you know,
oh, and they're all just fucking, you know, mediocre comics,
but I like him.
Yeah.
You know, so when you rather have a name names, tough guy, why would I name? No, cuz you're friends with all I am
So you know like don't you love being around people?
That's fucking broken and as aggressive as you are.
That's my man right here.
When you buddy.
What's his name?
Huh?
What's his name?
Don't tell him anybody.
What's his name?
What's his name?
Yeah, free gift.
No, what's that?
What's his name?
What's his name?
What's his name?
What's his name?
What's his name?
Steve.
No.
We get two more guesses.
I don't know.
I gotta look online. Come on's it starts with a C uh
uh cook load
Jesus the young Benito Dottora Benito Dattara you can't you can't make us do the joke. What's his name?
What's his name? Guess.
Oh, start through the sea.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
That's how I forgot your backup.
You can't. He's got a keyboard this week.
He's doing good.
Oh, he's the fucking worst last week with the keyboard.
Fucking good.
Um, guess so.
But notice the size of your head.
Tom now.
It's fucking big, right?
Holy.
What's that, Cad?
Mostly head. Do you have to wear a neck brace big, right? Holy fuck, that's a head. Mostly head.
Do you have to wear a neck brace when you sleep?
No, it's not that big.
Not the elephant, man.
I see it up right, it's a lot easier for me.
What is his name?
Claudia.
What is his name?
What is his name?
They give a guy name with a C.
Cameron.
No. One more. Less exotic. No, one more. Charles. They give a guy name with a C Cameron no
One more less exotic no one more
Charls basic no close, but no basic close no, you're that's the same thing as well
Chauncey chaunce
So we should talk his name is? Chanty, now. Surrival.
Surrival.
Who's he a fucking villain?
Who's he a fucking Marvel universe?
No, not Surrival.
What is it?
This new Marvel movie coming out.
Yes.
With the girl.
Yes, it's playing a...
Yeah, it's Captain Marvel.
Wasn't he a guy?
He was a guy.
It actually was a guy
correct me from ron mic on me say before you know you'll be a little
you're right
i believe he was a guy and then he uh...
transition no they made him a black woman
uh... and then they were then they made him here are a white woman correct
you're not incorrect and just sleep in stuff out but yeah
well i mean
i would like to have my wife
it was a
uh... do you
i can't sir
and then
it was careland and there's also a black lady but the black was before
the cald amriss i think so yeah
they don't use her very much because they're all up in arms about that
they they took a black character way made her woman, because she's bitching about white men. And people
like, well, you took away a character from black women, because it was a black character.
And it, and it initially was a guy, but it's shazam. Now, I'm confused. Shazam is Captain
Marvel. Yes. Shazam was Captain Marvel. He was back in the faucet comics before, and then
before DC bought them. So yeah.
So Shazam, the guy with the lightning bolt, Shazam, which is coming out of the movie going
against Captain Marvel, correct? I don't know at the same time.
Oh wait, I'm going to come over here. What? Oh, I'm taking a Captain America, but Captain
Marvel, like we, how come during all the Christopher, you might know this. How come? Oh my God.
What?
Who fucking texted you?
Nobody.
I knew it was the whole time.
You're lying.
Let me see your phone.
Let me have your phone.
What do you want to share my phone?
Who told them?
There's no text on my phone.
Who told them?
There's no text.
Did you tell them?
No.
Gabby, you're lying.
I knew it.
You're a dog bull die.
I know I'm a dog.
You're a dog that you get in five years with the guy you meet in LA when you're on a sitcom
and life is going good
We'll die in your pool if I could be on a sitcom. I'll let my dog die in my book. Wow
I didn't tell him now. What a sick fuck
I plugged him on my podcast. I give a big plug listen listen. You didn't give him a big plug. Oh, I did
Oh, I did very big and not as big as me
Oh, no one is
Why are you laughing so much?
Why are you talking man? I don't know I haven't seen you a week
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
Well
Now you don't like Gabby's crab work. Are you sure we show a little bit of it?
Ah, I think we have the video.
Let's see.
Have Gabby's crab work.
No, no.
Do you have a video?
Yes, they record every set.
Oh.
Yeah, we have video for her.
Can you redo her crab work?
I'll be the only one.
You'll be Gabby.
So what do you do for living?
I'm an engineer.
Whoa!
What are you from? I'm Minnesota. I've been there. Are you married? Yes I am. Good for you.
for you. How many kids you have? Two. Two. Two. Unbelievable. You look so young. Thanks. And what do you do for a living? Do I ask you what you did? You did engineer. You're an engineer.
Yeah. I know an engineer. How long in town for?
Just a weekend. A weekend.
Enjoy your stay.
Do you have any big plans?
We're going to go see Wicked tomorrow.
Wow, that's wicked.
You're going to see Wicked. How do you get tickets?
My uncle is one of the theater reps.
No way.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, it's great talking to you.
I don't think you do very much.
Do you have another comic you want to bring up?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well, I mean, her crowdwork does lag.
You have a conversation.
What?
It's a chat.
It's a small talk on the bus.
Yeah.
I've seen her crowdwork on most elevators. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're I want to do crowd work, sometimes I'll do material, sometimes both.
But there's nothing worse than have somebody going up and do a bad crowd work.
Or when somebody goes up and funny you, that doesn't have kids, but talks about, oh,
my brother has kids, and now, you know, he's going to step in.
Not that you own kids' bits, but yours are are gonna be 10 times funnier and that comics gonna go up and go
Well, I don't have kids, but I have my cousin, you know, and you just going, you know, I get original. Stop it. You're gonna cry work
Yes, when I wanted to cry. Well, yeah, I'm not
I'm gonna cry work, too. Yeah. No, I'm great at crowd work
I mean I compliment you and then you're like, yeah, what I want to and then you're like, no, I'm great at crowd work. I'm like, at another level. I mean, I compliment you and then you're like,
yeah, what I want to, and then you're like,
no, I'm fucking great.
You don't take it back at compliment.
You don't deny it, compliment.
No, I'm gonna take it back and make it better.
I upgrade my compliments because I want to bring them
to the level where they're supposed to be.
That's like you saying to me,
oh, no, you know, you're gonna crowd work.
I'm great at crowd work.
Well, all right, I said you good. Do you want to better?
You want okay? You're fucking amazing at crowd work. Is that what you want from me? Does that sound on the right?
Coming out of me. I'm the best. You're not the best. You're not the best. Oh, yeah. I'm in the top three best crowd work.
Who's the top three? I would say a tell. Yeah, myself. Yeah.
Big J. Yeah. Uh, big J. Yeah. Uh, what's the three? Do you know the count? Jimmy Brogans pretty good.
All right.
And today, uh, well, if you want to see his excellent crowd work, I'm not doing it. I think I'll
cast wake, whatever. Shut up. I'm just plugging. It's a transition. It's not a fact.
Fucking CNN shut the fuck up. You would look good with makeup. Fuckin' boss.
Kaz, Kaz McHier, Friday, March 8th.
Ron Bennington, myself, Jim Faurantine,
and the most amazing crowdwork comic in the world.
Top three, but he's not gonna do that this weekend.
Garantini will.
I won't.
Garantini will.
Garantini will.
What about you? I'll bet you, yeah. I bet you will. I won't guarantee you will. Garen T.D. will. You want a bet?
I guarantee you, I'll bet you, yeah.
I bet you a million dollars as you do, crowd work.
Well, you get, I'm most, I'm a bet.
I'm sorry I get it to a little.
I got, I got to break them in, you know,
you hosting.
There's a, how much do I want a bet?
There's a few tickets left.
I understand, you can come if you're under 16
with an adult, bring your mommy.
A Keswick theater, go to Keswick.
Where is it at?
It's on my website, right?
Keswicktheatre.com for tickets.
And you just remember, if you're under 16, you're only going to the Keswick.
You're not going to Neverland, just to Keswick.
So, what we did, Segway, was that?
What show did you watch?
You're not watching the Michael Jackson.
I know it was something. I stopped. I can't watch it. You you watch? You know, watching the Michael. I know was something I stopped.
I can't watch it.
You know why I hate your segues.
I can't do it.
What was it about?
Really?
That's my favorite joke with with Dan Adamin.
I think I've said it before.
Haven't I on here?
Where I go?
Dan, man, Dan Adam is a pedophile joke.
He goes, uh, Michael Jackson has rides.
He can't compete with ride. Where regular pedophiles can't, they didn't add his pedophile joke. He goes Michael Jackson has rides. He can't keep people right
Rather regular pedophiles camp. They can't compete with rides. I mean, you know, I pull up a van
Hey kid get in you got rides mj's got rides. I'm not gonna suck your dick for a nala later
Thank you
Chris
I don't know what you don't think that's how good the impressions impression that I do great impressions. Yeah. Oh my God. Can you do
top three top three top three impression. Top three impressionists. I'm not doing
them this weekend at the casualty hitter. That's Friday night. Yeah. I would you I don't
think you molested anybody. You know. Noup, you know. Ha ha ha.
No, because I saw Cory Felman,
said he's defending him and I believe Cory.
I trust Cory.
I trust Cory.
Someone said Cory Felman,
he's just trying to get press again today or something.
Yeah, I guess he,
talk, you gotta talk into the microphone.
So try to towards your face.
Oh, it doesn't work on the sides.
If you had your headphones on, I got your, I't work on the side? If you had your headphones on, I got your rakes.
But if you had your headphones on, you'd hear how you sound,
that's why we wear hands.
Do you have a spray?
For what?
The headphones are clean.
After you'd use them, we'd do spray them.
We spray before and after.
We spray before and after.
Oh.
Yeah, they're sprayed, they're clean.
Put them on your head.
I want to see if he doesn't want to spray.
I'll do my stuff.
I give him the fucking spray. You know what I will. I want to see it being done. I want to spray. I'll do my stuff. I give him a fucking spray You know you you are a fucking showhalter
With all your horse shit. Thank you. What doesn't it?
It's not a problem that you're fucking cool. I want to be known for something
You laugh for crowd work. Showhalter. I'll be straight in your face
That's enough. You're not clean of floor. You're fucking asshole
Are you are you really that scavots about people? That's enough. You're not clean of floors, you fucking asshole.
Are you really that scavats about people? Scavats?
Are you really getting that bad in your old age?
No, no, not at all.
Um...
That little prop, little.
Let's go.
Enough with the cleaning Jesus Christ
I hate him right? Oh God why God why I don't people with such good friends I don't people they fucking they call me like yeah, we got together
It was such a good time. Did you guys fight did you with death on each other?
Did you bust each other's balls into fucking tears?
Did you fucking did they they said they death on each other? Did you bust each other's balls into fucking tears? Did you fucking, did they,
but they said they give themselves accolades the whole night?
No, they weren't. It was just a good old fucking time
until you cracked your ribs.
And they didn't piss you with not.
No.
Oh, one.
Yeah, those are good friends.
No Bobby's out.
I, uh, do you see the video me cracking my ribs?
No, I don't like watching you going through pain.
Why, you put me through it.
That one.
I hate you.
I know, the room looks full but bare.
You know what I mean?
Are they gonna do something remodeling up here? Yeah, we're remodeling those studio new desk new everything
Oh, you know what what that snuff from under your nose
What was it? It was just a little water. I don't know. Here's just in case. Thank you Michael
I'm gonna spray lace on my nose. So what does this never-land ranch thing about?
And I stopped halfway through the front.
Is it?
It's about Michael Jackson.
It's the documentary, The Kids, The Two Kids,
and their parents, and they're talking about.
They must be like, oh, now, right?
No, they didn't age.
They're fucking it's about Benjamin Button.
You fucking idiot.
Of course, you're old now.
It happened fucking 20 something years ago.
You fucking moron
you're trying to leave you with a story
like how old are they?
yeah my question was there must be old now
and then you go yeah they're around thirty or thirty five
I don't know how old they are
I mean I didn't want to be attacked
I was just trying to further your shit story
that you segred into
with a fucking crowbar
but here's
yeah look there there
just a kiss of socks.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying though, but I only know them from them.
How old are they now?
Is that should I ask that?
How old are they now, Richard?
Did you watch it?
I saw.
Did you see their faces?
Yes.
Could you guess the mate?
Are they bald?
No, they have hair.
I just like what's my line? I
Say I would say 32 my 32. Well, I would say and they're still saying they got my lesson
Well, they're it's pretty graphic. What do you mean? You know they're talking about how it happened?
What they like what like what like you know how he, you know, how he would, you know, in the beginning, just, they would,
you know, he would rub their privates or.
Well, you know, why is this so hard for you?
Because I didn't, I didn't watch the whole thing.
What, what do you say?
He said, because you're getting hard.
I got it.
I got it.
I love it.
I love it.
Does that mousse, right?
Yeah, he sneaks a man.
He sneaks a man.
I think he very Mike. Does that mousse right? Yeah, he sneaks a man. I think he's possessed
Possessed the next day from San Antonio
What's up? So tell me tell me I only watch half of the beginning
Okay, but just tell me what they were saying. What was uncomfortable? You know how how he would jerk off in front of all men
I would blow you know blow one one, you know, seven and he actually
said he would be blowing, you know, and they, they thought that was the norm. So they didn't
know they were being led. They thought, you know, this is Michael Jackson. So they're
thinking, you know, this is the biggest celebrity in the fucking world. He'd be friended
him, be friended their family. So he he's saying they're saying now in their 30s
Yeah, that he this is all true all the shit that he did. Yeah, that's what they're saying because they they got paid off
And they went away
So it was weird because you're sitting there going, I well
You know if you took money
How much is your kids
You know, if you took money, how much is your kids'
sanity?
Hey, yeah, how much is your kids' head worth, sanity worth, dignity, you know, because, you know, they're gonna have to live with that for how much money going in.
But that's all they got. No, that's not what I'm talking about.
You banged in to my kids for a million. I
Even if the guy is a billionaire I mean
Your acting like the guy only has five five million
My glad fucking was the billion dollars you could so much money you would ask
You would ask a little more
It's not the white stripes
It's Michael Jackson you fucking cunt
You gotta look fucking cunt. Did you seen it now though?
No, why?
Dude, it's because they didn't take care of it.
It's fucked up, never land, now what?
Take a picture of it, now.
Yeah, it's all fucked up.
Look, yeah, look at all the shit's done.
Not that one, that's it.
Wait, they let it go to hell.
Yeah, that, look at that, look at that.
Look at all the fucking grass is dead.
What about the house though?
The TPs are always living in the house.
No, nobody fucking lives in.
The ground, the zoos go on there, a big zoo.
It's all fucked up now, man.
Neverland, the sign neverland is all fucked up.
Well, what the, I mean, that's a big piece of property.
It was a massive piece.
Nobody's buying that, nobody wants that.
I would buy it.
I'd buy it, make it a, make it a kids hospital. Make it a kids a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a I know that it's but I mean who would live there Michael Jackson Neverland on the market for a hundred man
I mean who's gonna buy that hunk of garbage. It's got so much bad mojo to it
I know it just got bad. Yeah, you can't have that every stain you find around the house. You know what is that from?
Just fucking hell. Well, I think before they sell the house to clean it. Yeah, but they might you're not gonna clean every
They're gonna find some secret room
house still clean it. Yeah, but they might, you're not gonna clean it every,
they're gonna find some secret room.
A little door.
It's the only, it's the only wheelchair that brings a black
light in for sale.
Yeah.
Wow, look at that, they've rides.
Yeah, I mean, it's just,
yeah, rides, I stopped halfway through the first half.
It's two, two two hour parts here.
Because, look, I mean, I think, you know you know what they're saying it sounds like
he did it but what he's dead what are you doing what's you know where you're just going
at because well because he's dead and they can finally probably say something out of
these dead well they also too were I mean there must have been a contract that they signed
right I don't know but the parents were just as fucked up as they
as he was for letting them happen.
You know, you would never let your kid go sleep over with somebody.
There's a lot of stuff.
Listen, man, you live in California and fuck it up.
That's not from California, we're from New York.
In California.
In California.
And parents were like, Ryan Reynolds was like,
yo, can I hang out with Max?
I'd be like, yep.
Go ahead, fucking take him with you up in the catona.
Of course, I would come the sounds up for me.
Rye, Rye Dog, that's what I call him.
Rye Dog, take up Max, Max, see you later.
And give Max a back,
I leave Max to give Max a script in his backpack.
I would give, I would let him, I would let Colin hold on.
Yeah, of course I would.
If somebody famous, Michael Jackson,
oh, look at him.
Nine medals.
No, you're not.
Look at him so hot.
So he's not that good looking.
You're out of your fucking tree.
Who's that off, my bestie?
I better look in there now.
That's right.
Then the other guy they all love,
that was in Ryan, Ryan Gosling.
Yeah.
Ryan Gosling.
Who's better looking?
I don't even know why people think
Ryan Gosling's good looking.
Ryan Gosling's hotter. Yeah, he's hot. I disagree better looking. I don't even know why people think why gossips good looking. Right, gossips harder.
Yeah, he's hot.
I disagree.
Really?
I'll tell you why.
If you bring up Ryan gossips, bring up gossips.
Now, look at Ryan Reynolds.
Look at that.
He's just, I mean, he's got a little bit of attainability to him.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you're right.
So I'll hang on.
Stop.
Listen, I think, I think, I know somebody who dated him.
Really? Who lived in my neighborhood when I lived lived on 43rd between 10th and 11th, the
girl upstairs who was friends with my friend and friends or my wife. Back then
my girlfriend was dating Ryan fucking gossip. Yeah, before he was kind of
anything after the notebook, when he was kind of transitioning, he wasn't
really doing shit. Yeah, there we go. He knows.
Wow.
He's not as hard as Steve Bache mi.
Do you want to see a hot body?
Do you want to see a, bring up Jake Gyllenhaal and what was the boxing?
Gyllenhaal.
Oh, Gyllenhaal.
That's all right.
And Salah, bring up Gila.
Look at his face.
Look at that fucking body.
Can you bring up Gyllenhaal too, though? I'm going to see who that is. Look at Gila Gyllenhaal. look at that fucking body. You bring up killing all to though
I don't see you that
Look at you killing hall look at that fucking nose. I have this car. Roy's dude. No, he worked out
Not stop. I'm a little bit stirred stop. You they all do Roy's they don't do a cycle
You're out of your mind. There's no way you get like that in fucking a year. There's no way
He's doing a cycle and he's safe.
Look at a lot of people do that shit.
I think he's a bug.
Look how ripped that is.
Like I could do it.
I think you did it.
If I got like that again, I dumped on in a fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking,
give it a butt boot.
Beat it, fucking flat ass.
No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Look at his face though.
He's in a boxing match.
Stupid.
Still.
Why is this? He's a little beat off. I thought he was like a mom. Yeah, there's no way he went from that
Sock as a lot of others in the mall. Yeah, she gave you a fucking wife humor
Oh, did he I thought he was in the mall
Anyways, girl, I'm seeing me in Brooklyn at the cafe.
At the cafe.
At the cafe.
Empty.
Cafe empty.
Cafe empty.
That's a good one.
Do you let him be cute?
He'll come back.
He'll always tell him.
Look at that fucking body.
It's insane.
That can make a movie.
That's what they go through. You know, actually, it's not that fucking body, it's insane. That can make a movie, that's what they go through.
You know, that's not that fucking hard boss
when you're getting paid millions,
and you have millions.
That's not what they're doing.
And you have millions, and you can just hire,
you can take a year off to just work out.
It wasn't a year, he did that in like, I think,
four months, six months.
With steroids.
Guaranteed.
Look at the vein, look at the vein look at
the vein in his arm that's fucking Roy's brother and it's not bad I'm not saying
acid Lewis Lewis he took Roy's when he prepared for South Point take you
and all self-pop sorry would are using steroids thank you human growth
warm-up thank you you can't mean to be a fucking superhero yeah you can't look
that way without it.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's not bad.
I mean, then how did they using them?
If you're a rich and you have a doctor,
I mean, these mother, trust me,
they're healthier than anybody in this room.
Believe me.
They're using saucer and whatever it just depends on.
All right, thanks.
I'll see you later, dude.
Appreciate you stopping by.
Anyways, little shagomas, everybody.
Gas digital, fucking.
Yeah, the absolute, you can't go from thin
like that to that. That's all worried about, man. And it, and it's not, it's not like it's
bad. You say, Roids, and you think of people just dying in the dicks falling off and having
heart attacks. He put under a doctor's supervision, there was probably 10 people around him working
out with him every day, telling him what to do, how to do it, what to eat for six months straight.
Anybody in this room, I could become that if I had that.
I could come close to that.
If I had that stretch marks, they would look like you have surgery after.
There's nothing that you could do in your life to ever have a body that looks like that.
Listen, can you guys show that?
I look like a melted candle too.
I know.
If you got a chef, if you got a chef to carve from first.
What?
Nothing.
Yeah, that's all right.
All those guys take right.
They all do cycles.
I'm just trying to make you feel at home.
I don't think.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
you're like, Louis is going to be scared of what he grew up
within his fucking house
Wow, why would he jump put a stack of cash there he'd flip out whoa nice talking to you
Hey, oh, I'm just saying he was ripped he might have got this guy's ripped to fucking creed
Yeah, let me see let me see his stomach though. What is this is this?
Shredded oh he is but know, black people cut out here so you can see it.
Easy to get to me to Greek.
No, I read this in the morning.
Then do I say this?
So you don't get trouble.
Black people, their cuts show up better
because they're skinned as thinner than white people.
It's a little thinner.
Read that in bodybuilding magazine.
Look at that. That's not true.
It is. Look at that.
Black people do not have thinner skin.
You want a band? You know what that is?
Why do you get colder quicker?
Because they don't pay their heating bill?
That too.
Yeah. And how could they do all those rows
and all those battles with thin skin?
Wow. Thank you.
You always bring them back to a row.
Did you break your funny bone?
That's good. You always bring it back to us. Did you break your funny bone? Hahaha.
That really does it.
Why do black people just put doobie?
What if white people have yellow eyes?
That's the most funny stuff.
What if black people have and see what it feels like?
Because it's just type of tiger.
It's called yellow eyes.
No, it's Saint-Doo, black people have finished. We know, well, fuck yeah. I let it up, it was of tiger. It's called yellow eye. No, it's saying two black people have thinnest sleep.
No, well, fuck, yeah, it's a little bit.
I'll let it up, it was nothing.
Why is yellow?
Yellow eyes is looking, John is,
which blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, all right, there you go, nice.
I've written muscle magazine.
Probably the liver.
What muscle magazine?
Muscle magazine.
It's just not true.
Well, that's human.
It's not the muscle magazine.
But are they humans? They're, we're all human. We're male or female Well, that's what I'm saying. It's not true. But are they humans?
We're all human.
We're male or female, and that's it.
No, I go by day.
I don't like to be fucking classified.
I'm day now.
Hey, you're not day.
You're not even him.
But it's a devil and rich.
It's all done.
It's all fucking nature took over, dude, it's all, all of it.
Nature took over, dude.
They didn't, they didn't keep up with it.
It's all fucking up.
Of course millions to keep up with that place.
I know, but I mean, they're trying to sell it as is.
It's gonna, I bet it becomes some fucking weird zoo for some millionaire lady who husband
died and she has a bunch of fucking orangutans and fucking Zemus or whatever
fucking animal she has.
Is there a Zemus?
Do you have to talk to the doctor about her?
I have a night in watch.
He only watch half a bit.
He stopped.
He stopped because when they were talking about the kids, it's too close.
It's too close.
He used to, he used to blow us.
It was the ammo.
And he's blown a lot of them
they're old and studies gross you know
what they mean
vultures came
on the we did that we did it
oh sorry
sorry
it is a variation
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha
haha haha haha haha haha right there. I've been seeing you in a while. How you been? I've been good. How you been? You're here's growing in. It's always grown in. I always had here. Yeah. I just cover it with a hat.
I get bored. I don't want to fucking deal with it. This is the fucking biggest dick friend. Did you hear
it's growing back? I'd never cut it. No, he hasn't seen me because I always wear a hat. So it's
a normal thing to say amongst two pals. But he got something for you. Oh, he's a,
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
An extra show at Skankfest.
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Look, if you want to give me an extra show,
Washington, what?
I do it for the first one.
My wife hates me live.
Yeah, what?
Did you guys do it a couple years ago?
The, uh,
did that we did.
We did it.
Yeah, that was great.
We should have done creeps with it.
We should have done creeps with kids.
It's, we're still in it
We still we have probably another 40 comics are gonna be announcing over the next few weeks
I just see I think just for laughs is doing it. What doing what?
Chris for kids. So you can't do it in New York and then we put on it just said that. I don't even know
Yeah, but
My
Look at the ZM
What I call me why about 200 comics on that list?
Uh, what about me? What about 200 comics on that list?
There's, uh, whether it was 80 that we released right,
there's gonna be about 150 comedians
over all 20 podcasts.
What's wrong with that?
Not that I'm just saying.
So of course, the three days, it's from noon till 2 a.m.
All day, all night, four of its stages,
just non-stop party, you know.
Now, last year, I got, I was there, you know,
I don't drink, I don't use drugs.
It got a little fucking scary at some point
There was a couple people just fucking passing out. Yeah, well, they was taking
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but so did you go to the ONA virus tour? They were fucking passing out there too?
Some people can't handle their drugs. I was just some people as good as the actual viruses that cause them to pass out
Don't have unprotected sex as gangfests.
That's just the one better device
that I can give you guys.
Beyond that, it's fun.
Why, is this people get shit?
Oh, you'll definitely catch something.
Yeah.
There's no way.
Yeah.
There's no way.
You're not a herpes that are as gangfests as fucking.
Gross.
Both different levels.
There's open mic herpes.
But it's gonna be fun.
Tickets are on sale selling that Bobby's doing obviously
Vos, uh, fucking Michael Chey. Doug Benson's coming this year to Doug Love's movies.
Whoa! Wow!
Oh my god! What a flash of books, what's up with that one?
He's way through some books of you.
You couldn't get me fucking hideous and cute. you couldn't get me fucking
Shut up
Jake the snake Roberts
Is Eddie if making an appearance? Actually, he might do.
We got Berk Lake's stomach.
He's sure to do an afternoon show.
Sober.
Yeah, yeah. Oh boy.
Oh, so it's into your fucking get
You better bring 17 people
Great boy, I love those movies. It's a great podcast. I'll kill Tony Tony and Clare. Oh
Riveting
Oh, everything.
What the fuck does that mean? Everyone.
Whoa, you think Tony and Doug will come together?
Tony, Tony, Tony.
Tony is.
I don't know.
I think it's it.
Look, it's literally a party for three days.
We always have a great time.
There's a corner.
What?
Also, there's, uh, yeah, there's, I I don't want to there's some people we can't just announce it because of contractual
Jesus Christ. What do they have had learning dates between them? Oh shit. You can't tell them about Gallagher
Gallagher, too
Again Brian Wiggins brother
Mattery so Neil showing up
Big dog me so fucking fucking bad. We have the best results.
It was, it was so badly, it was just,
oh, butchum is there.
Butchum is there.
You can't do.
Don't even Big Dog you boy, Dan.
Talk to us like our age.
Big Dog's what?
You fucking big, you mean the high hat?
We called the high hat.
Yeah, I had it, man.
He did?
He'd been a fucking high hat.
He didn't know, I don't think he knew that I was one
of the owners of the, he thought it was just some dude,
like hanging out, giving a fuck about him and all. I'm sure he's great, you know, I don't think he knew that I was one of the owners of the, he thought it was just some dude like hanging out, giving a fuck about him and all the guy.
I'm sure he's great, you know, but what happened? He was doing a Ralph Sutton show.
Why? And he, you know, he comes in and he's trying to sell tickets, it wasn't sold out.
He, I think he was, he's trying to, he's promoting something. So I asked him, he's, I asked him, I was like, oh, you're promoting something?
And then he yeah, he like laughed in my face and went
Yeah
And then he turned to his makeup artist that put makeup on him before he did a podcast. No way swear to God
And I was like literally and put my entire staff is like watching this happen
I just saw everyone's faces. They all sort of looking down with their feet
Because they just watch me get fucking Alfred by Dan Cook
Because they just watch me get fucking Alfred by Dean Cook
Nothing my name was a fucking
He left and I punched a hole in the wall the gas digital studio made me so angry You feel like you're back at home? Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So you get my someone to the super fingers that me now Just can't can see just fucking sorry then. Oh, yeah, the fuck it high yet
I'm fucking DC
And out
Never even do podcasts what the fuck she put on makeup before we won the podcast
Was it being filmed yeah, oh, that's why.
He's probably making a documentary.
No, it wasn't being filmed by his people.
It was being filmed by our fucking sub-games.
Oh.
Oh, just fucking, just the image.
You know what I said, my next sort of getting hot,
and like, I just, I didn't know what to do.
That's the problem is that you knew what to do
after you left.
Everybody, you wish you had that, that fucking.
What was I gonna do?
It was gonna be like,
you know, hey man, I'm one of the owners of the network.
I so wouldn't have, but I just now I know.
Why would you say that?
No, because I have a list of people that are either,
look, you're either on my team or you are a deep,
deep, dark enemy.
So there's just two people in your life.
You have no gray area.
So you're in the deep, deep, deep, dark enemy.
Or you're on the list.
You're on a Eurofuck and you're saved.
You're real estate.
Save your real estate, right?
So there's just two people in your life.
I can't wait to hit you 50s.
I can't wait to hit you hot 50s.
And you realize you're gonna need a lot of gray area
of people your cock second.
Nope, not me.
I can't wait to do it.
What if Dave wanted to do?
If Dave wants to do a skank fest?
Yes.
If he called back and said,
yo, do what I'm sorry, I'd love to do a skank fest.
He said, I'm sorry, you didn't need a apologize?
If he apologized, then I'd be like fine.
But I need you to apologize in front of my entire staff. So you have to get the gravel like what what's gravely?
You have to get on his hand and knees
Jesus you have to fillate me in front of his heart girl. Really? Yeah
You have to spit my coming to my mouth. You'd spit it back in his mouth, right? What do you get gain?
Why would we talk about it? Why why we even, that's too much show.
There's no show, it's too much show.
There's a thing is too much.
So, well, you guys wanna talk about now,
this movie's crazy, where am I?
Skankfest, who cares, I don't even know what I'm doing.
What am I looking, laughter, right?
I think both. white getting symbol be there
Antikunia Shalva turns people thought he wasn't coming back
Oh
Shit This is fucker. This is East Coast comics going after West Coast comments. That's not fair
It's a war
It's just kidding you guys are fucking out of Doug. We all love Doug, but Dean. It's a real war
I mean, I mean, when East Coast comics are killing it right now you have to admit that I mean West Coast West Coast
West Coast West Coast West Coast is killing it. Huh?
Not always be killing you know, it's not really coming up. No, no, no, we were coming up the West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast West Coast Mayor de Blasio Do Jay I agree with you
York, though, it's you know
We take all because we suck in Rhode Island in Connecticut. Yeah, we split that down the middle
I'm German in New York, so I always spent weekends here. Yeah, so I'm kind of but I'm from Jersey
I never say New York, you know
The people go you're in New York comic, then I'll go, you're a Jersey.
You're a New York comic or West Coast comic.
Because that's the clubs you worked
were in New York, huh?
Right.
So, can we grow up in New York?
You're either like, you're out now, right?
You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you almost became an LA comic.
No, I was gonna be your gym sales guy probably.
How long will you have LA comic?
Maybe into personal training.
Hopefully, I can shape my, I was hoping to get some sun really
oh my god did I save your life you did my god I saved your
son's life yeah I didn't save your girl's life but your new
girl's life I saved you technically
yeah
I uh the Kim do acid the other day on Instagram Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha who bought everyone that I know DMT off the dark web. Um, everyone, stop one second, explain to him the dark web and all that.
That's key, key swaps.
Yo, by the fire, come to my show.
I'm open if I want to go to the dog web.com.
I think a short name because I want to tell my right, my left hand.
So I probably want to go to the worst drugs because you can't control like why would you care when we're bad, too?
You can I don't have a one you can control you're not gonna start elucinating and not
One second, what's a hallucinating?
Losing any he's
Said oh
He said, oh, loosen it. What is it?
I'm not a loosening, am I?
You're not a loosening.
Is that wrong?
A loosening?
No, that's not it.
You're wrong.
Absolutely.
But you're not loosening.
No, loosen it.
I wish your family would have died in the Holocaust.
Yeah, not all of them did.
Oh, shit, I just ruined it.
I'm sorry.
Fuck why I stepped on that.
I'm loosening. I was loosening. Either way. I just wanted it. Fuck while I step on that. I'm hallucinating.
I'm hallucinating.
I just wanted to make a joke.
First of all, I'm fucking dumb.
Motherfuckers are trying to...
WIT!
I'm trying to quick my grandma.
I'm in a scene.
I left out an ache.
I said, I'm a show.
I said, I'm a I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I'm gonna do it four times. Oh shit. God, you're not.
Lucinate.
I can't hold it.
I can't hold it.
I can't hold it.
One more time for Rich.
Lucinate.
He has to put on his headphones.
I hear it.
I hear it, Nick.
Just stab him.
So, uh,
we thought he would just trigger his Puerto Rican.
I, uh, I, I, I, I hallucinated a couple of times when I used to use.
I hated it.
What did you see? Like, what did you, what did you use?
I was 13.
It was acid.
And I did masculine.
Mascaling was fucked up.
No, what the worst was, was a window pane four way window pane back then
What blotter but window pane was the strongest? I didn't even know what the fuck it was
I knew I they just gave it to me. I took it. It's a worse because I was so young and I remember I took it
Do you see of this yellow pill to go tea?
It's called tea. I think it was a speed ball. That was a bear. Huh?
You just had to bear the little yellow.
Different.
T is just a bear.
No, my brother flipped out.
We were tripping in my little brother, took some.
Yeah.
And he was flipping out and it was freaking everybody out.
Yeah.
You know, because he was having a bad trip.
Also we were tripping one night and my friend had a band and he had up in the
garage, he had band practice, we all hang out, doing party after and stuff. So we're all
tripping and let's do Chris, I think his name was, took acid. We all did. And he got up and
he fell and busted his lip and blood was pouring down. And we kicked him out. We said,
you got to leave. You're fucking up on the runny or a trip. I'm not a trip, we can't look at your bloody face.
It was your worst show.
I'm so glad I got involved in crack.
I was super sorry.
Crack was better.
Crack, you're not gonna, you're not gonna fucking,
you know what you're doing.
What was the first time you took a hit of crack, feel like?
What was I feeling like?
What's it feel like?
Like I know a Coke feels, like Coke, you just fucking,
oh my God, it's just great.
You got the drips and it's kind of uncomfortable,
but you're all right with it.
I like your life.
That was close.
That was close.
I know it was close.
That's all right.
You're too close.
I'm hungry.
Because you're theater this Friday night,
me, Rich Ross, Ron Bennington, and Jim Florentine.
And next, Ross, no crowd. All four four all four will be performing at skankfest
Yeah, June 21st together
And Tuesday I'll be at fat black pussy cat with Bonnie during a live my wife H. Me podcast
And just curious and all it's gangfests Wow and Jessica
Wow, Skankfest andomac.com for tickets.
Get them now.
75% of the prices are gone.
There's no, what's the big, what's the big get to share?
The, I mean, we can't, I haven't announced anybody
that I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
So if there's three people right now
that people are gonna be fucking bad shit,
I'm crazy excited about that, I can't announce you.
Now, all fans and broadcasts, it's fucking shit.
Have you ever had a stand-hope there? Yeah. Are you gonna have a Rogan come? out that I can't announce yet. Now, all fans and the boy's podcast, that's fucking true.
Have you ever had a stand-hope there?
Yeah.
Are you gonna have Rogan come?
Doggy, listen to me.
I cannot announce it.
So it's Rogan.
It's Rogan, I know it is not.
I know when you're lying.
Look at me.
Look at you have Rogan come and do his podcast live.
Which is wow.
Fucking wow.
Holy shit.
I gotta become a guest on that one.
Is that my god? Oh, that's fucking nuts
Is that when you're doing the podcast live?
Nigger. Oh my god. Stop that. That's crazy
When is he gonna fuck girls we fucked actually the both doing the part they're both doing it
I'm saying a heart to end current Fisher and Rogan both
I can't fucking when you've heard it here first
Both of his camera. I can't fucking when you've heard it here first.
It's probably,
Roblois, it's been just days before.
Yeah, he's right here.
I've always sold out to him.
He's right here.
He's right here.
Rogan is six to how easy with that be if he just swung by
and did the Rogan experience a life.
Or is he just gonna do a show?
Just comedy, straight up comedy.
He's a fucking.
Wow, you got him doing stand-up?
Holy shit, at night.
Joe will be fucking nuts.
He's going, wow.
He's not a f**k in nuts.
It says Skatefest right on his page.
You know f**k it.
I'll announce the back one.
You're good.
Kevin Hart?
Louis CK.
That's it.
He's coming back.
Bobby got him for us.
Wow.
He's going to be back.
He's going to be back.
He's going to actually do it. He's probably a hooker.
You're one of the hookers.
I can hook that up.
If you want that, I can literally make a phone call right now.
Take away the sheet, you can get Louis cast.
We really, we should get.
You should ask Louis to do it.
You really should ask him to do the negative attention.
So, there's what people give each other herpes.
Hey, fucking dying in a lobby.
He's an exhaustion.
I can't get along. Yeah, really. I can't even hear me unless you're bringing anything. Those were people giving each other herpes Fucking dying in the lobby He's exhausted
Really?
I answered a QMU edition bringing him
What's his name?
Whatever the fuck?
Did he put an H in QMU?
No, it was a W
It was a QMU
He used the H from hallucinate
Hold on, he wants to get in
I got mine in there
I said you took the H from hallucinate
And put an NQM Oh, you got smash- smash. Ross has that feel. It's just smash. He's not
yeah. He's fucking to shrily. He's not fully. He's not fucking in the homophobic. He's
not. He's not going to have tried to suck his neck. He would let me fucking know. He's
goings and nose rings. Yeah. So does he? What? You have multiple rings. You have a minor
diamond. And our headliner rings. What is his? He's a from treasure. Let me
sing. I got a lot of work to do. I can't really show you my rings. This is from a fucking
a lot of sorry. Cocko. This is from a dive he did in Bermuda. Woo. I think we got it when he
said treasure fatso. Stop going to the well twice you fucking cut Podcast I can't town live yes, I don't like to get my mind
My mind podcast it's on there. Where it's everything's there on the bottom
You know every you know really looks at a post like we're fucking I'm fucking
So you don't know where cuz you know where
I'm fucking off my goal. Yeah.
So you don't know where,
because you know where,
you know where people have you.
When you're on a poster,
you know where that festival has you in their mind
by the hell, the hell, like 12 point,
the size of your fucking-
The size of your name and where the fuck you are.
On the poster.
Adam Freeman's a big gut this year.
Yeah.
Adam Freeman, wowie, we, we. Yeah, we know, it's, wowie we we yeah, we
Wally we what do you fucking have any baits from misery?
Sorry
Wow
Pertis ankle yes, stop for his book is ankle last year at the bad
We had a basketball tournament last year. Maybe that's returning. I love stuff happening
Bob won't you sing a song this year at a Guadalem comedy jam? I will. I'll sing.
Yeah.
Also, drums.
Have a dream of a drum off?
I would not do a drum.
I'd like to sing and do drums though.
You're gonna do a AC DC.
What?
You're supposed to have your rescheduled drum off.
With J. I gotta do a drum off with J.
Oh, but you guys stink at drums?
Yeah.
Yeah, so you're good, right?
No.
I mean, I'm back taking taking lessons but I'm not.
You're taking them again?
There's a big difference between when you play in your house
and then you in front of a crowd,
there's a fucking shit that's way different.
First of all, what adult takes drum lessons?
How bizarre is that?
Yeah, I do.
Why wouldn't I take drum lessons?
I don't know.
I don't know, because you're fucking, it's just too old.
You don't pick up an instrument at this late.
I did.
I did. I play drums. I can play fucking a bunch of songs I play drums. Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm not in a band
I don't even a band, but I I play I can play better than somebody who doesn't play
You're in my house. I have your right. Yeah, what the fuck's wrong here my kid plays. It's good that he sees me play your kid played at my house
The fuck kind of question is that?
Yeah, we gotta do it.
I'll play it.
I wanna do a play with you.
I just fucking took away my dream.
Yeah, like you have never, like never went.
You have the drum set and a fucking fake fucking ship.
Huh? Nothing.
Wow. Oh my lord.
How can I look like Kathy Bates?
No, I fuck you.
I fuck Kathy Bates back then.
Kathy Bates is one of the best actresses ever.
Here's the problem with misery, the whole fucking thing.
All you to do was fuck her.
All you to do, shut your face, let her fix you,
as soon as you can walk, start typing your little fingers off,
and then eat that fat pussy that fat
Maine for Mont whatever the fuck she was pussy
Fuck the shit out of a jizz in her and then when she's sleeping you fucking choke that fat
Cunt out and you run away. He tried he tried to do some stupid shit
What happened? He hobbled them twice. How do you watch?
Was it once or twice?
Okay, once.
But so he got quite a hit.
What he did is he would write up in Maine
or whatever the fuck it was.
And then he obsessed with her, his books.
And he wanted to.
I was literally in the fucking process of telling him.
Oh, you were?
Yeah, I was talking.
If you had your headphones on, you'd hear me.
I can hear you.
Loud and clear.
In Maine.
He's driving after you always have even other words, Maine.
It could have been for a month.
It's Maine.
Oh, he always does shit in Maine.
It's Maine.
It's Maine.
And he's driving home snowstorm.
They said don't go.
Crash is his car.
She finds them because she was fallen on them.
Because she's the big thing.
She was falling.
Pulls them back to house, wakes up. She's the one who fucked up his legs. So it's twice cock fucking so
Fucked up the first time. Yeah, I was oh no
No, I know for sure to call in right now 917 261 685
No, it's Memorex
Wow six one six six five no it's Memorex wow
Is anybody hurt from that one so right is it really funny
Did your dog live yeah, he's great. Yeah, there's lots of appointments last week and I was all did I give the most out of every Roadie no you didn't if the 250 you said you went along with me at 250 like four weeks later not in yeah after we all gave it right look at me later how many days later I was
like a week later but you know weak big deal he gave it what the fuck did you give 250 yeah oh what
did you give 100 I got my own dog hey hey no no no you hey listen I if I listen I didn't eat Hey
What misery was set in Colorado no, yeah, but it was filmed the main
Usually
He that when we will pass that he bought that I thought it was being cute. Yeah, thank you Michael Thank you Michael beat up a fat woman
She is fucking woman and she's fat like like not when you hobble no cardio
I believe she I believe she's a wheelchair. I will fuck up Kathy Bates
Can we do that? I said that happened easily can we do this guy any woman you bring any one We happening. Easily. Can we do it at Skankfest? Any woman, you bring it, any one of you in an outpeat,
we all sit amongst you, you strap my legs down.
Beat the shit out of any woman.
Let's do it at Skankfest.
And this is another thing.
We got another big event.
We get fucking Lewis.
Can we get to fight Lewis?
No, boxing gloves, we'll give.
We're gonna go.
How many fat girls do you think you can beat up at the same time?
How many fat girls?
How fat? We'll say, I wouldn't want to fight a fat girl. Do you think you could beat up at the same time how many fat I would fat girls how fat
We'll say I wouldn't want to fight a fat girl. I don't know I'm 30 girls buck 30. Yeah buck 28 Buck 30 that's not fat 130 pounds. That's not fat. That's a effort. That's pretty much every girl
Yeah, you gotta get you gonna do like
160 for a chick 170 to be fat
for a girl Maybe yeah be fat For a girl
Maybe yeah, and they stay hobbled twice
No, we just go to call they call in then as you convert it
It was only a
She doesn't take him to the hospital on purpose. She takes him but she takes him back to the house
Yeah, she's hobbled him. No, she was not that her accident
But he was not that hard in the car accident.
To find hobbled.
Hobbled these.
Did you see the movie?
No.
Oh, no, she's a little sledgehammer.
She was a railed tie between the two.
She put a four by four, not a rearo tie, a four by four.
And she took a sledgehammer and broke his ankles.
And she'll have to wear.
She'll have to see. Show the scene.
By the way, I need a show on the scene.
You know, it's not real, right?
It's a full of the show asshole.
Is it about your fucking life?
I'll see it.
I'll see it.
I'm good.
Really?
I ain't fucking asshole.
Fucking shit content.
I'm kind of filled with two hours.
He was like, no, we're good.
Let's end now.
I'm the hobbling scene.
It's called hobbling. I thought you were like, he was a weird man. No, good, let's end now. I'm the hobbling scene. It's called hobbling.
I thought you were like, he was a weirdo.
No, no, it's hobbling.
Fucking awesome.
Yeah.
No, it's fucking hobbling, dude.
He fucking widows.
He's doing my father used to fucking hobble me back
in the day, dude.
Shazam, here we go.
Oh, come on, just get to it.
We need to fucking see his dramatic pauses.
He's such a good actor. Yeah, so he's strapped in.
My little ceramic penguin in the study always faces himself.
Oh, Mr. Mr.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Scramming penguin.
Oh God. Oh boy.
Oh boy. Oh God oh boy
Oh boy, I know you've been out twice Paul
First I couldn't figure out how you get to it. Can you just get to it? This is her scene is great right there right there sure they could never run away
The operation was called hobbling there we go
Four by four yes rear-row time, please 800 pound 4x4. Yes. Rarely I'm tired. At least 800 pounds. Fuck it, idiot.
I wish you were tired of one.
What a hobble, you teeth.
Oh!
That's what a fat chick at Barely lives up the sled, Jammer.
She'd be out of breath just picking her up.
Not a chick from Maine, Colorado.
It's for the best.
Oh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH see it again. Oh fucking hobbit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh what a fucking great movie.
Oh. Oh. Look, she's smiling. She loves it. Oh. Oh, that's got a hurt. You think?
Wow
She literally reminds me of my girlfriend
Before scary best, you want to be the real wheelchair? Fuck you bitch, hit him in the head.
Ha ha ha.
Oh that's good.
Wow.
Yeah, wowie.
Crazy.
Keswick Theater.
This Friday night, March 8th, 2009, 19,
and we got Don, Ron Bennington, me, Jim Foyntine,
and the host of the night.
That's a great surprise.
It's 40 bucks for all four of you guys.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
For 80, you can see like 150 comedians
at Skankfest NYC.
Skankfest, what is that?
Skankfest at NYC.com, June 21st through 23rd.
That's the weekend.
And let me tell you something, last year,
the year before was fun, Creek and the Cave,
a good time.
I fucking have class. The game's a wolf was cold, but you know,
it's just, this is a great,
this is a great time.
Last year, the fucking stupid crazy,
I saw many crazy things.
Crazy, crazy.
And then, and we did the tough crowd reunion there.
That was actually almost emotional.
Yeah.
And the fact that nobody recorded it,
they just did it.
He didn't like, he didn't like, he didn't want it.
Yeah, but I love that. It's awesome. I love that. We all, we, we all this the smallest room in the entire, Nobody recorded it. They just did it. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it. He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it.
He didn't like it. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. Yeah. The dragon fucking. Logan.
Amazing.
Logan.
Dude, let me tell you something.
I was getting I love dog.
That's a great cat.
That's a big get.
But Rogan, but Rogan to have, I mean, Tony awesome.
Yeah.
Is he doing his, uh, kill Tony?
I'm so much.
Love that.
So much fun.
Yeah.
He's great.
But Rogan is fucking crazy.
Another level. Who else do youan is fucking crazy. Another level.
Who else do you got?
Lucy Kay.
Lucy Kay.
Rogan.
We're having Bill Cosby.
They're gonna bust him in just for one.
They're letting him out one day.
That'd be great if you did some,
just a FaceTime chat with Cosby from jail.
Hey, man.
We got Bill Burr.
Obviously.
Yeah, come on.
Who else do you got?
Who's another big one? Everyone's on the list, Bobby. I can't name anybody who's not hard to be named.
You already named your name one Rogan. Who else? Kevin Harry. You know,
you know, I know it's Rogan because he's snickering. Yes. I say Bill Burr and he gets here.
You can see it in the eyes. Watch, watch Bill Burr. He gets mad. I say, watch says mad. Yeah,
it has you. Not fucking hate Burr.
He gets mad. I say watch this man. Yeah, he does. He's not fucking hate burr.
Ever since he big dog near front of my staff. Oh, that was big. That was that was sorry. I get them all mixed up. Now do you think he big dog?
Or you just think he just he just he just I was cooked. That's what everyone's been saying.
You've been cooked. I was cooked. I've been cooked a couple times.
I'm living in a three-bedroom ranch. That's how fucking cooked I got.
I'm living in a three-bedroom ranch. That's how fucking cooked I got
I've been baked I mean cooked you don't have a basement
Shed to get extra storage just to put some of Max's old clothes in
I don't do that I get get Mexican do that. I get your people. Oh, look at that. Oh God. I remember that. That's when you were
Puerto Rican. Yeah, that's when I was there. Raddle snake. Yeah.
The original Legion of Skanks right there.
We're gonna leave you in the skanks right there. I don't know what that was.
I don't know what that was.
Who's that?
Get you what's this guy's name, Jay Davis.
Yeah.
Jay was just booking the laugh factory, all of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think he's gone now, I think I fired.
Weird fucking time.
Weird fucking time.
That whole thing.
I remember Gary on Torgasm so did not want to fucking be there miserable.
Cause he just got off that, what was the thing he did with you?
Last comic.
Last comic, they just did that whole tour with them.
Yeah.
And he was miserable on that.
He just wanted to be his solo shit.
And he was with Barry Katz at the time.
And they kind of were like,
I remember they were like,
oh, it's just gonna be us.
And we're gonna film it.
It's gonna be a documentary.
And I was like, that sounds great.
Fucking documentary, a month on the road.
What was it?
20 shows, 30 days, four comedians.
And it was a bus, fucking bus tour.
And our names are gonna be on the side. The names are to be on the side of the bus was dainon the bus
or did he fall on dainn dainn was on the back he was in the bus no he was in the bus with us he
we just had those little bunks and dainn had like a queen band in the back but I but didn't
flew on on uh attached one of those giant kites attached the. And they were real human. Now he had they had the back of the back room
was like another little place for us to go watch TV and shit. And then they had bunks six of them
out three of them for Bobby. We were up. No, that's what I was in that bad. I was not
I was good then. Um, I wasn't the best, but I was all right then. But they had three six
bunks. And then he walked in the back,
and he's like, what's this room?
And he goes, oh, this is a lounge area,
but we can make it whatever,
we can make it another bedroom,
and he goes, oh, make it a bedroom.
So that was his little chalet back there.
Oh, he should.
He should have one, absolutely.
Fuck yeah.
I mean, he said it was all of us.
No.
I remember the day they were like,
uh, they were like,
our name's gonna be on the bus and we showed up
and they just said,
Dean Cook's tour guys, and we were like,
hey, where's our name?
And then he was like,
You've been cooked.
No, he goes, it's coming.
And then it's coming.
And then one day we come out,
I think it was four days into the tour,
he goes, they had us all go to the back of the bus,
closing our eyes, we opened it up.
And our name's you're in the back of the bus,
like in three point hell
Vedica
So this was this was a tour that
That wasn't on then everyone was furious. No, because the deal was is that after this tour we were supposed to go on a sponsor
Dane tour, you know,
and he was going to plug it for you. Well, yeah, he's going to do this. But they,
but was it live nation came in and was like, look, they owned all the venues,
all the theater, they're like, and they offered up a guarantee that was, I mean, dude,
love, love, guarantee. Oh, I bought my fucking apartment with that guarantee. It was it was crazy guaranteed
Plus travel
So it was crazy money. That was for you Jay and Gary. All three of us got sick guarantees
So then his team came over and was like well, they just took they got the whole contract that they sent and
Put it over here and added and they took the travel out
and threw it on top and said ours is more money.
ours is $100,000 more.
You get more money with us.
And I was like, well, no,
because you took the travel and you started it
to the main number.
So it's not.
We still got to pay for our travel.
You know, and it was,
and they owned all the fucking venues, Live Nation.
So it didn't make sense.
So I walked away.
And I was like, in Live Nation,
I was like, well, just do a tour with you. And then, and then they live nation. So it didn't make sense. So I walked away. And I was like, in live nation, I was like, we'll just do a tour with you.
And then, and then they came back.
Gary and Jay came back and they're like,
we'll go with you for some reason.
And then Dane, whatever, didn't really sponsor it.
Sent out of my space.
So you were going, you Gary and,
it was me Gary and Jay touring the country
and on the real men,
on the real men, on the real men, on the real men of comedy tour was Joe Rogan.
Um, who the fuck was it?
Who's the white guy that won the last comic standing?
Efron.
Efron and Charlie Murphy, the real men of comedy.
And they weren't that one.
Nobody, none of us were.
We saw the couple places.
Yeah. But some of the places we showed up,
I remember one place in Buffalo.
Kittt off.
I don't know where it was, dude.
They had us at one place in Buffalo.
We sold probably fucking 20 tickets,
and they were paying us a money,
and there was a snowstorm.
They wanted to cancel that show so bad,
but we were like, fuck you.
A two-footed snow dropped it.
And we had all of you the next night,
and they were
trying to cancel that. I paid a guy $500 to drive us out of Buffalo to Rochester to
rent a car to go to Albany. And it was illegal to be on the roads. That's how much snow
it was.
Wouldn't you guys in like bigger venues? I remember being out in front of the garden.
You did the theater at the garden, right? I did the theater at the garden, yeah. I remember, I remember I was selling comedy club tickets
at the time out in front of the garden
when you guys were there specifically.
And I remember how many people were upset
that Dane Cook wasn't actually on the show.
But if he thought tickets thinking it was gonna be
Dane Cook's tour cast,
it's my whole day.
Well, they made us.
Well, you guys really got better numbers.
We would have fucking sold out.
Yeah.
I think you guys, right?
I think so. But why wouldn't he promote it? What was your reason? Because it wasn't he was doing
his own tour. No, he was getting makeup done. No, it was because of it wasn't his tours live
nation's tour. Barry Katz and him wanted to do the tour. I kind of wanted to just step away
from the Sufi for a sec and do my own thing. And so to Gary, I think we wanted to just, it's like
look, the tourgasm,
the answer to you was a fucking blast.
Yeah.
You did a bunch of fish.
I'm not gonna show you that.
But thanks for your fucking,
you have to walk away.
You can't just be the dude opening for another dude
or being, you have to literally walk away.
Well, that was the deal.
At the really, like, after this,
you'll go do your own tour.
Our tour.
And it wasn't, it just wasn't a good deal.
This was a great deal. This was guaranteed.
This was how many venues this would have all been canceled and fallen away and nobody would have
gave a fuck. Drive nation fucking what's his name over it. Yeah. What's his name? Jeff.
Yeah. Yeah. Fucking he's he's a solid guy and he's he's the he's the mother fuck. Yeah. So
He's a solid guy and he's the he's the motherfucker. Yeah. So how many like how many venues? Okay. So you did a tour that you filmed with Dane that was that that was tour guys and that was supposed to be first of all that was a documentary. That was supposed to be a TV show HBO
What didn't series no HBO the guy running it at the time who got fired after some time for fucking great guy. He's gonna be the dormant at the improv.
Awesome, fucking.
He was a dormant at the improv.
The years you fucking funny, I love that guy.
He actually make Neil, I think.
No, that's not it.
But he brought Dean special, right?
From all this, while we were on tour,
he sold out these shows.
He went in and said, okay, college students get
a $5 ticket or a $10 ticket,
and everybody else has to pay $15 or $20.
So all the college kids who's huge, they would sell it out, and then regular people would
come, so we'd fill up, I mean, Jesus, we did Penn State, the meat and greets were longer
than the shows.
We did four hour meat and greets.
It's kind of crazy, like, back then you could do colleges and the kids that give a fuck not at all
Yeah, it would be
Sorry, I'm skank for some was he don't come so
Just show welcome show welcome
But yeah, I mean it was like even when I started doing comedy it was literally just a different tone
It wasn't even about like what they were allowed to do? The kids won't laugh at it now.
Like younger people are trained to be fucking,
you know, looking for triggers
and looking for microaggressions.
And it's like that's a part of their culture.
It's like literally there's courses
that they take in college on social justice.
It's a whole part of the curriculum.
Oh, it's done now, do we used to do colleges, man?
I remember me and Keith would do colleges.
Me and Norton used to do colleges, man. I used to, I got so excited. I was like dude, I'll eventually be able to do colleges man. I remember me and Keith would do colleges. Me and Norton used to do colleges man.
I used to, I got so excited, I was like dude,
I'll eventually be able to do colleges,
fuck a bunch of teenagers, this is gonna be the best.
And the whole game changed.
Dude, on tourgasm, that fucking, I mean,
the game was massive on colleges.
I mean, crazy.
It was fucking like the Beatles.
Yeah, but it was maybe not the Beatles, maybe like the, I don, crazy. It was fucking like the Beatles. Yeah, but it was maybe not the Beatles,
maybe like the, I don't know.
Yeah, but it was the Bee Gees.
Well, we did.
Not the,
the Dave Clark Five.
Not like the Bee Gees.
Crazy town.
No, no, no, no, like the Bay City Roll.
Like the Bay City Roll.
I think the Bay City Roll.
Well, we did.
Yeah.
Remember that, you love that haircut, did you? Yeah. Nice fucking Bay City Roll. I think the Bay City Roll is here. Well, we did. Yeah.
Remember that?
You love that haircut, didn't you?
Nice fucking Bay City Roller haircut.
We did.
Yeah, my jacket from this guy.
There you go.
Well, we did the ONA tour.
We were doing some starrroses outfits.
We were doing 10,000 people.
Remember?
Well.
We did the ONA tour.
We were doing some 12,000 people.
At some places.
Right.
And we could do summers and the guarantee was fucking
Very good 10,000 bucks a show
But it was no and and and the thing was
We did two summers. Yeah, and it was fucking in,
they were gonna do a big cruise too,
oh, and we were gonna do a big cruise.
And a serious guy boss on it, right?
I heard about it.
Yeah, that would have been fucking.
That's what Skankfest has to do next.
That's what we wanna do.
We've talked about it.
You should do Skankfest next cruise.
Fuck being on land.
I wanna, the whole Skankfest was actually inspired
by those cruises and
you've done the impracticals overshrews so you know, yeah, you see how it is like we have one
venue where you can't escape like you're you're you know, there's moments. I mean that cruise
people will die and get AIDS. Yeah, there's going to be blood on the fucking railings.
It's going to go on the hallways. The lights are going to be off. There's going to be real candles.
So much going to be so so much gonna go overboard.
Yeah.
And they're gonna get back to shore and go, we're Sam.
Yeah.
You're gonna go to the, you're gonna go to the fucking ocean
when the boat pulls into port.
Look at the fucking crowds.
I know.
It's fucking great.
Here, bring up, and this is narcissistic,
but bring up Rich Flaust hosting Woodstock.
You wanna see something crazy. Dude, can we not go back there?
It's 100,000 people.
I know, but first thing nobody gives a fuck.
In 1969, the footage is great.
Nobody feels like...
Look at you little pot belly.
I know, I was heavy then.
Yeah, I know, but nobody, it's not really, you didn't do anything.
Yeah, I always put it in the day.
Please, Senator, who's that Jessica Kirst?
Yeah, but you days.
And I barely got paid just because I'm in the party for a quah. I, I totally center. Who's that just get curious? Yeah, but he days I barely got paid just because I'm already for a
I put already with me. That's why I put already
I'm just saying when we did those events the future
I'm just saying we did those events outdoors. There was so much fun
Shut up. We're trying to have fun. We're done with you. I don't hear you. We're we don't care
I'm trying to have a moment. Yes, don't try to have a moment.
Woodstock, I have no one.
He's a bad person.
You're a skank fish moment for two hours.
Your Logan is gonna be there.
Don't you fucking understand that?
Okay, you got, you got Birdcrasher coming too, right?
Where's he going to park his bus?
No, Birdcrasher, bird can't come this year.
Has he ever been, he was there last year, he was there.
Yeah.
Or two years ago, we don't fuck around, guys.
You're gonna give out glasses this year?
No, I'm sorry about that, last year, Bob.
I got the real ones.
Body, body, body.
No, already gave me a, he is.
She gave, she gave your wife fucking good.
These are good ones, Bonnie.
Shh, don't that reach you. Already gave me the good ones. These are good ones, Bonnie. She's done that rich.
I already gave me the good one. Hey, Rich. Yeah. Hey, take this.
Take Bonnie to good ones. We had 500 or sunglasses and $2 sunglasses. Rich. Yeah, but I know.
She didn't give me shit. We get. She was retarded. She back. No, she's not back. The chick we had doing artist experience last year,
just like, we're just like,
it's in front of Bobby.
What did you call her like Pete Davidson or somebody?
No, it was, Sal, Sal.
Yeah, Sal.
Sal, she goes, Sal, Sal,
no, but she walks in a room.
She goes, Sal, Sal, Sal.
We got glasses for you.
Sal doesn't want glasses.
Sal buys his own glasses.
He's a fucking millionaire.
He wants a certain brand.
He likes his own shit, you know what I mean? He wants Sal, we get these glasses. He's a fucking millionaire. He wants a certain brain. He likes his own shit. You know what I mean?
He wants to know.
We get these glasses.
He's like, what?
All right, whatever.
Okay.
She's like, these are really ex.
Oh my God.
And then she sees me looking.
She's making me crazy.
She goes like, no, she goes like this.
She goes, oh, we have glasses for YouTube, Bobby.
I'll play with you.
No, he's like, he was like the middle after the show.
When he got to the headline and go, you were great.
And then he looked at him. You too. You too. I got a nice, I got a hot YouTube. You were funny. After the show where they go to headline and go you were great
I got a nice I got a hot you to I got a nice oh my god, so oh Bob you
I'm gonna get you fucking
You host when you host and they go like you should do comedy up there too. You got to pick Dunlap glasses
This is why I love lose though. He fucking took care of me after. Of course. Yeah, cuz he's the fucking you
We took care of you guys, right? Yeah, he did sent you guys some nice stuff. You and don't yeah, he's fucking sweetheart
Already gave me Asian. You don't defend the fucking Don the godfather Bob Kelly you crazy. Yeah
I said I said that I was like Bobby Kelly is is literally as important as anybody at this festival
And the truth fucking we do the festival doesn't exist without
Not as important as Joe Rogan, but I'm up there.
Come on.
I mean, because not they're here and over there,
Joe Rogan did a separate category.
A separate category.
I mean, he's a fuck.
Yeah, he's the tonight show.
Tonight show of podcasting and commute company.
You're the yesterday show.
Yeah, I'm at last night show.
I'm actually like Tom Arnold show or something.
No, I'm like, you're like, you're like,
you're like, you're like, like like Jenny Jones like in the middle of the day
Jenny Jones
Jenny
Now she got her talk show you now she got it. She went on tour. She was so she was a historian
She went on tour actually. She only let women into her shows
She did all her shows like at the comic
close and which for women only. Yeah. And then she exploded and got her own talk show.
She was a standup. Yeah. I know. Oh, yeah. She was on Storks. Jenny Jones. Why do I not
share? It was like a daytime. The guy killed. I don't know about that. Oh, yeah. She was
on the I think star shows. I had no idea. she was a standup. I just remember she had a daytime talk show
It was her it was like more. He there was all these like yeah, yeah, Sally Jesse. I heard was
She made a lot of fucking she was smart man
She did that we're part about that that being that famous though
Can you button that thing on his shoulder for him? No, what am I a fucking teller? It's not a it's already button
I didn't actually just to sew it in.
Just ask you to button it for him. It's a little annoying. Um, buttoned your mouth.
Comic-freeling, fucking manny, fucking you jack-and-ipes.
What? Comic-frewomen only Jenny John is in the's in the general. So far we smart man. Shut up back then.
That was smart.
What was smart?
That he made a career.
He ended up with a talk show,
closer to that tour.
And that's what you try to do.
You want to do a tour and have it, you know,
to people.
Is that it?
Look at her now though.
Look at her.
That's her.
That's her.
That's her.
She fell off, dude.
Click that photo. That bitch fell off. She didn't drink off, dude. Click that photo.
That bitch fell off.
She didn't drink enough water.
She lived in Arizona.
That's her.
No, it's a green party politician, Jenny.
I know.
I'm reading it too stupid.
It's weird.
Where is she now, though?
Why am I fucking, I love she is.
That's the baby.
Where they are now.
She's probably took her money and I think she's dead.
No, she's dead.
She's doing so.
She has to, she's actually opening for Rogan.
She had breast cancer, I think.
Nah, they all had breast cancer.
Nothing done.
They all.
Sorry, girls, I apologize.
I'm terrible, I'm terrible.
I'm the guy on the hospital.
I mean, you could never get breast cancer Gabby.
There's not enough. No, I that's my joke.
They call it a clinical cancer.
They call it rib cancer with her.
I hope you don't get it now because this is clinical cancer.
Jenny Jones, there she is. Let me see her stand up.
We see someone roll stand up over.
Oh God. All right. Do you think it's good or bad?
She was on star search. I think
I think women aren't good at comedy now
I couldn't imagine I'm telling you right now you want to see some of Gabby's crowd work
It's really good. Go go where you from Minnesota. Love it
Living I am I work at Walmart Get out of here. I shop there. And are you married? No, I'm not married. I'm
single. Well, you should be. Did you bring her to open for you? I was used at the pussy
gavicle a couple weeks ago. She was like, Hey, where are you from? Wow, that's great. Cool. We got video of it. We'll play it.
I mean, if we're fucking dying, we're in the hallway dying at you.
Fucking mesmerizing fucking crowd work.
I would have been dead somehow.
What are you?
What are you eating, french fries?
They look good.
Shit, so my crowd work, then does the shitiest crowd work?
I don't do it.
What are you doing?
You are. I was. Shit's my crowd work then does the shitiest groundwork
Debbie white even do any of this you Debbie so pretty and rich
Gabby I almost feel like what's the point of all of this just fucking because you know why she's doing this made She's just collecting all the coins buddy
She's killed. I think you're thinking,
you're thinking, you're thinking, you're thinking.
What up?
She's cutting my zero.
She understands what she's going.
What's your fucking heart, right?
The matter of fucking her dad is the shit.
Her mom's the shit.
They have a fucking house in the shore.
She is fucking over here and she's smart.
She's pretty.
She can act.
She's direct.
She knows how to shoot at it.
She does.
She does.
Which one?
I don't know.
She's pretty.
It's a deal of choice.
Yeah. She doesn't need to be here. She's doing this collecting coin
So you know what she comes from a creative family
She's not gonna sit there. She's gonna be able to make it on her own without her family
I'm alright, so that I mean that's her head goal. It's good. I'm just saying I say something else. She sings still a
Great
Listen dude she's I'm doing here, girl. Listen, dude, she said,
I'm gonna stop.
I'm not able to do it.
She's not gonna come in.
I'm gonna stop for one second.
I'm gonna do it.
I wanna stop for a second.
Tomorrow.
She's absolutely not.
Tomorrow.
There's a club stadium.
They'll call you back.
I'm not even kidding.
She sings and I, I've had her sing for me unfuckin' believable.
And it's not like she just sings.
She has her own little, you know,
John Mayer has his little thing.
She has a thing that Gabby go.
No, Gabby, stop.
Gabby, you can sing a comedy in public.
It's horrible.
Just sing.
He's, Jesus.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, How many of you in public? It's horrible. Just saying. He's fucking crazy. Jesus. Oh, man.
No, no, no, he's saying you're good at it.
I mean, where are your fucking priorities here?
Oh my God, something just came out of my skull.
Oh, it wasn't brained.
Wow.
That was good.
All right, let's listen to, let's listen, ready?
What are we listening to?
You know, Gabby, Gabby Bryant singing is on the internet pull that up to a fact
Yeah, it is it's on one of our episodes. Yeah, so I'm one of our episodes
I forgot about what tango go ahead people like it people did like it nobody
Wow, he's dead
He's going to see fine guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going to be a guy who's going Show your pussy, hoor! Get fast, man! You see one person?
You know, whole thing's going on today.
I wanted to do something for the homeless, so I bought my ex-husband a tent.
I'm buying a new car. Finally, finally.
I have to get something to pay for, because I think mechanics take advantage of women sometimes.
Do they not?
All right, last time I took my car in,
$95 to have my spark plugs rotated.
I said, you must think I'm stupid.
I never paid more than 50.
We didn't have to know about cars.
I was very specific.
Very specific spark plugs, you know.
I paid my older, well, a lot older than I was.
And it's not like I didn't try.
I did everything for him.
Like it up every morning, I washed his hair.
I brushed his teeth.
They were always ready. I got up every morning, I washed his hair, I brushed his teeth.
They were always ready when he got up.
I was like, generic, misdirection.
Oh my god.
It was fun.
She didn't win this year.
I used to play games with them to keep him young.
I would make up games to play with him.
He never wanted to play.
I don't think hide the insult in such a bad game, you know.
Wow. So we finally split up. I started dating a younger guy, and people a bad game, you know. Wow.
So we finally split up.
I started dating a younger guy, and people were so shocked.
He was pretty young.
I mean, I don't even know what the attraction was.
Well, you know, in the middle school, you know.
You see a guy that the scarf, the badge, the compass.
Yeah.
This boy's got to say, just, for sure.
It's just, what is this being said?
I know.
It's really depressing.
When he actually helped them with his history lesson
and you were there,
I was shaking camera.
Hang on, let's see if we can guess the next joke.
Oh yeah, it was hard to find the record.
You know what I find attractive on a man's face?
Stop, stop, oh, you can't.
I got it.
You got it?
Hey, there's a cash.
That's the joke. I hate you. I was it? No, you know, she said cash cash. That's the joke.
I hate you. I was trying to guess the joke. See if we could guess it as comedians.
Mommy rewind it.
I want you to rewind your steps into the studio.
She's, I mean, that's his garbage.
Yeah, first of all,
but I'm gonna stuff her because you're wrong. Once she's doing I mean, that's his garbage. Yeah, first of all, but I'm gonna discover, because you're wrong.
Once he's doing network television,
it's in the fucking 70s.
All right, 70s?
70s or eight, okay, 80s.
So it's fucking, I'm swearing.
40 years ago, it's a scam, this is 40 years ago.
I mean, it's a 40 years ago.
There's some words in Jamalin, I mean.
It's 40 years ago on network television.
Come on, what do you expect her to be?
Like some fucking, what year is this? It's not 40 years ago. network television. Come on. What do you expect her to be like some fucking what years?
This is not 40 years old. Oh,
Alright,
four years.
This doesn't say. Can I say something?
What first of all, I don't give a fuck if it was last week or 50 years ago.
I don't have to like it because of the fucking time frame or because she was on TV and not on that one.
I still I don't give a fuck.
I don't like network comedy.
I don't like set up punch tags.
Set up bunch.
Why you didn't like that?
You did network comedy.
Yeah, but I didn't, but I didn't do,
but I didn't do set up punch tag.
I did a club set.
I did my act.
I'm just saying, I'm not saying that all late night people
are bad.
The some of them I really enjoy.
Most of it I don't really like. Because it is also bad for this.
So I can watch Ellen DeGeneres from this same time period and go, okay, she's a very skilled
comedian and substantially, you know, she's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped.
She's well-slapped. She's well-slapped. She's well-slapped. She's well-slapped. This, she is not that funny. No, but here she is not that funny.
That is not why I'm sticking up her.
Because she's your the same age.
At him.
I'm almost peeping my pants on that one.
That's what happened.
I was tingled.
It happens now too.
It's not been.
She wants to start.
She wasn't probably ready to do all the stuff
that was coming away.
I mean, why am I, why are you sticking up and telling the fuck you, Jones? wasn't probably ready to do all the stuff that was coming away. All right.
Why am I why are you sticking up for?
I don't know fucking Jones.
Maybe so we got a TV show again and either sidekick.
Let's not get happened.
You'd you'd better fucking hook you fucking wagon him.
He's got Rogan booked.
And fucking Brian.
What's his name?
Oh, no, what's the guy?
Brian Regan's no, the fucking stoner guy. Doug Benson's come Benson about Oh, Reagan. No, what's the guy? Brian Regan's coming.
No, the fucking stoner guy.
Doug Benson's coming.
Doug Benson.
About the movie thing.
Are they watching movies?
They have it in Douglas movies?
That's great.
That is a great fucking show for Skankfest.
You should do it.
Great show for Skankfest.
We be guests.
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
I swear to God, dude, I really had a blast last year.
But because I'm a recovering drug addict and alcohol.
Too much, we have a sober, we give you a sober green room.
Yeah, but it's a little, it's lonely in their first of all.
I'm saying.
There's like three people in there.
Everybody fucking having a good time next door.
It makes me want to do drugs and drink.
And it's the cocaine green room is way better.
Wow, it's, it was a little, I had a good time.
I kept seeing people passing out. I kept wanting to go fucking 12 step. I'm listening, you gotta, it's, uh, it was a little, I had a good, I kept seeing people passing out.
I, I kept wanting to go fucking 12 step.
I'm listening. You got to, you know, gotta look at me, man.
You got to, when you get tired after six steps, this weekend, Friday night,
every theater rich lost the amazing, the amazing, oh, and, uh, Friday,
a Saturday night, Where am I?
The next week I'm doing golf. I'm doing I'm gonna go soon. I'm doing the 20th
I'm gonna feel first time doing that place. I'm excited. You should be doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good time
I'll tell you what it is. It's bring your own booze
Which is awesome. It gets a little crazy, but they're good crazy not bad crazy
I always hear cheers. Those sold out. It's a good fucking
great room and you go in. These are good guys. They're good guys and they don't they're not they're
good people good people solid. I like them a lot. I don't do right now for the white hit of
we defense give away all three tickets. The way to take this guy. I'm just right now for the callers.
Right now 917 2616831. Is it on?
Yeah.
Call number three.
Let's do call number one.
Call number four.
Call it, let's do one.
Let's do one.
I'll just be 10 and one is three.
You think it's two all access VIP passes?
VIP.
VIP.
What does that mean?
That comes with a t-shirt.
Signed by Rogan.
Get into the, and the winner is Don.
Don King.
Have you seen what I've been doing?
Do you know what Camio is?
Do you know what Camio is?
Have you seen what I've been doing?
You want Camio?
No, have you crashed Camio?
Listen to me, and I feel bad because...
Do you know what I've been doing?
What?
Me and somebody else been paying other comedians to promote my day. Listen to me and I feel bad because you know what I've been doing what
Me and somebody else Been paying other comedians to promote my dates. I
Bad I've had Christie. I've had Steve Burns promote my day. I paid y'all to sell himself a faggot
You want? Y'all is promoting my dates last week. I
I show what you want. Yannis promoting my dates last week.
As Al Maricia.
I know I paid Yannis's to say $30.
That's it for my dignity.
I had Nick the Pueblo.
Dude, I had so many people, all these comics promoting.
Promotes me.
But I had it.
I put them to, they didn't even know it's me though.
Because it's B-O-B-B-I-E-K-A-Y.
Bobby Kay.
Silly Hey, man, you can have a great time
this weekend
out in Arizona, make sure you go check them out,
have a great show.
Oh, they know what you though, right?
No, they have no idea.
No fucking thing.
I really, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
I tagged them in it.
So when I put it up, they know I know.
I don't want to just hit them so they find it.
But oh, Maricia was the best.
Steve Burns did a great one.
What a swell guy he is
It's funny, too, the different prices
I don't understand
I they asked me to do it and I was just like no, I'm not selling I'm not
Hucking messages to my fans
That's gross what yeah, they didn't ask me
No That didn't ask me. Oh, I didn't ask you. No.
Oh, they have salespeople just.
It's terrible.
Maybe.
I'm going to like if somebody wanted a happy birthday to their brother, just hit me up.
I'll say happy birthday to your brother on a message.
If I have time,
I'll let you know you 30 minutes.
I don't have Perez Hilton do it too.
Perez promoted my, he called it Albany.
My Albany dates he promoted at the Albany funny moon
Yeah, how much is he? 27 yeah, yeah, he was great. He did a great one
What do you write?
You write to them what you want to say?
You're birthday you could pay one Gilbert. We should get Gilbert Gilbert Godfrey to go and ice key is up there. Yeah
Yeah, you can get anybody up to go to to comics, scroll down to comics and the left.
It's terrible.
Don't these people make money in real life?
Yeah, they some of them actually make money.
Chris Delia is up there, but he charges.
It's hilarious.
It's like $1,000.
You made it.
You're only thinking, that's the best if you're gonna do it.
Yeah, that's the way to do it.
That's how they fucking bucks, which made me fucking cackle.
I almost did it.
I was almost able to be worth a thousand bucks just to get a nice one from Delia.
Yeah, looks up there.
Scroll back up.
We got Michael Rappaport.
What's your name, that girl?
What's your name?
What's your name?
I'm your comedian.
He's doing stand up now.
No, he isn't.
Yep, he's doing stand up now.
He's doing stand up now.
He's a good actor.
He's getting fiscanx fast. How do you do the he's doing stand up now. He's a good actor. She's getting for Skankfest
Have to do the rap of poor podcast live. He's a good fucking. He lives right over there, too, dude
Yeah, I'm scroll down scroll down. Who else?
Do we know anybody?
House box house box Blake Weber don't know him James Murray don't know him Joe sent the I go don't know him
Who the fuck are you who's what is
Us guys name's Chris. Isn't in Chris. I'm on a bit of an asshole, but who the fuck would pay Mike?
Stuttering John $10 to get a message from none of these people are anybody
Stuttering John 40 bucks go down
Paulie sure is 150 Tom Arnold these guys
I'm gonna be stars. Ben Marjara was bam reality star check it. It's bam is 65 twice 65
Why is Tom Arnold a hundred and bam is 65? I'd rather have scroll down Ruth Busy. Oh my god
That'd be a good one scroll down how much is my calendar 500 bucks for who?
You honest probably was 39 bucks. I actually have paid more for them. God damn it's my most fucking load is real Mauricio is more scroll down. Oh yeah, my
is 40 Jesus what are these people? Chris is doing this is 25
Chris was cheap. I'm gonna go up there for a dollar. There's the
Apollo 60 bucks every spears. He's on no comic. How do you know
it's him though? You could tell by the way standing. I took
what I said on. I said I want to go to click on the, I want to see the Apollo's
messages though. What a, what a come margin here's just
looking at the camera. It's like, uh, thanks.
All right, scroll scroll. Let's go down.
Go to click on this video.
Yeah, click on it. This is for Sean.
Oh, which one? That one? Was it that one? No,
no, scroll down. See if you can find mine.
That one right there. No, the one to the right. that one to the right. No, it's in the kitchen. Scroll down again
Scroll down. Does there any more show?
Right that shift
It says the names of the
Yeah, it does great. You probably didn't want to show that
You're tired
You're also
Yeah, you're a Trump hater, huh?
That means you voted for Hillary, the thick ankle dog face.
That means you have a clit.
Yeah, you have a clit.
You're a truck driver with a clit.
You're also a Louisville.
How great is this, though?
This is hilarious.
He's just trashing some of the pain of him.
And so some guy, no, paid to trash his first love the other guy
He knows recruits
Huh?
And you like snaggle tooth women which tells me you were blown by forty or fifty a lot lessons over you career
I'm guessing some of them were female so the guy says not what he wants him to say anyways
I just want to say. Anyway, as he wants to say, he's often, it's not like a horrible person.
You really do.
You're like Louisville, Scandalist college,
you're like Democrats, fucking criminal enterprise.
So, this is a long-wind shit.
This is a lot of fun.
So here's my problem.
Like, look, this is, this is very funny,
but it's just like, let's go down.
It's just sort of a weird
Revenue stream that just almost shouldn't exist
There's something about sticking your fans first and cash to send a message and it doesn't it sort of feel like when people charge money for a meet and greet after a Shell that ridiculous have you I've seen that or you're gross are you saying because you do it? No, I never did in my life Bob
Have you ever done that? No, we did I was like the tiered
uh,
said, uh,
I get a t-shirt and that's it or or CD. I only like selling my fucking uh, I don't like selling
like, I do.
Jeff Ross Jeff Ross. How much?
How much 300 fucking box?
Uh, we should do that to promote why he does have other, does he have other comedians right the
I guess I guess he's not doing your fucking
What's up packs it's your buddy Jeff Ross, the roast master in fellow Jew.
Miles will tell you on your bar, Mids for Bro,
today you are a man.
Tomorrow you are a woman, but good luck with the transition.
I'll go back.
I hear you're a baseball player.
He's so rich that it's like, it's not worth the $300.
Is it, is it crazy to me?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, it's just not worth the $300.
I, you know, you get Darren Carter,
the party starter for 15 bucks.
That's a fucking deal.
Go to his, his is fucking, I bet his are fucking awesome.
Ready?
Let's go.
What do we got?
Let's hear it.
That first one, let's go to the first one.
No one's calling him a Darren Carter, the party starter.
Doing a big shout out to Marty Dor Derosa the comedy bulldoza. I
Like that. That's a ring to it. Anyway, it's one to give you a shout out man
Keep making them people laugh and hopefully we'll be sharing a stage soon. All right, Marty. Bam. Get it bulldoza
That's fine. I can go back. Go back. Go back
Where she started? Let's grow them. Let's's get some more people we're gonna see somebody we know
This Renazese is up there no fucking way he's right there where she do it 100 bucks
Where she doing it from the road but rose my go to rosebud wait
$35 who the fuck is paying rose but $35 look at the find out right no no
Look at the find out right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and also from Charlie who is from New York. He's from New York. How much is Charlie? But loves me.
Anyway, I...
I gotta go back to Let him Charlie,
look peanut butter out of my pussy.
Well, you get Esther Kooz up there, scroll down.
Keep scrolling, keep scrolling.
You got, with how much is Esther?
20 bucks.
20 bucks.
This also does your nails.
Mike Moreno, how much is Mike Moreno on the road?
Who's that guy?
Matt Rife. He's Alex, he's good your nails Mike Marino. How much is Mike Marino on the right guy Matt right?
TV guy
What's your name for a little bit?
Check that out Pete Davis if we're just caught making out with my back
I'll be back. Is that the best looking guy in comedy? Maybe yeah, he's handsome. What the fuck is good looking?
What the open that up. Yeah, he's like a shut up
Look at that right. Mutt off. Open that up.
Yeah, he's like, shut up.
Okay.
I'm the gay guy here, I should know.
Oh my God, let's see what he sounds like.
Go to the middle one, go to the middle one, light.
For Gary.
Hey, what's up, Gary?
You're obviously homosexual.
Gary, you like Ben, obviously.
You will mind my advice on something like this.
You being a 48 year old gay Latin doesn't matter.
So matters because that's who you are. 48 year old gay Latin
Matters because that's who you are and you should embrace that and it is your niche and it's your lane as bad as exactly We just got it off. Lord. Why did you get the wrong age?
Scroll down like Marino was Mike Marie up to the right
We're right there. Oh, yeah, you know him right? Yeah, he's from the town next to me.
How much is he, don't go there,
just how much is he 10 bucks?
10 bucks.
We should buy that now.
Oh, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down.
Wow, I don't even know, is Judy cold?
Get the fuck.
Jeff Lee, it's Christian Finnegan.
What is Jeff Lee, Jeff Lee, scroll down, scroll down.
Who else?
Hey, how can I get Mike Moreno right now
to say rich forces to greatest comic from New Jersey.
You're gonna go pay 10 bucks.
Do it for me now.
Do it for me now.
Do it.
No, we can't do it now.
You're gonna put in your credit card.
Who's that blonde?
Hell yeah, Aaron Darlene.
Steve Hofster, how much do you see?
What a cool 20 bucks.
Steve is 20 bucks.
And two drinks.
And two drinks.
Who's that blonde?
Who's that blonde?
Yeah, blonde's hot, huh?
Yeah, the blonde.
I don't think he's that.
How many D.S.? No, she's a comic
Her name is Aaron Darling. Where is she from? She's from Canada. She writer actor
Fascinating. Let's get on see what she has to say look. She has one. Oh, here's long
Nothing to say. What's up? Oh, I want to come in your face. Horror
What's up? Oh, I want to come in your face horror
Jesus fucking pig I got so much respect for you in your jokes
Oh, look at the girl on the right who's that?
Why is this turning into porn there's zero chance Madeline burn is funny. It's impossible. She's too Madeline bar this I let's go Madeline bird. Let's see if she's possible any little
What's in it any Any letter, man?
No, she thought that hot actually.
I was wrong, her picture's good.
Yeah, her picture's good.
Yeah, go back for me.
Pictures good.
Good eyebrows.
Any 20 bucks?
Scroll down.
Your picture is hilarious.
Scroll down, skip scroll on the skull.
We got it, somebody else.
Who's blare?
Who the fuck is Brett Galman?
Fuck that, who's blare?
That's my friend.
Is it your friend?
Yeah, blare. Is she funny? Yeah?
$10 she's $10 funny
Here's what they did now go because all these comedians like Blair and Rosebud
It's like they're just reaching out to anybody on social media that has a blue check mark
And that's sort of like it's just a salesperson. So it's there's not any
All right, I might
be we're just looking at stuff. I'm listening to you. You've fallen. Go to her. Go to her. Go to
this girl. Binks. No, don't go to banks. Fuck banks. No, go to Julie Stewart. Fuck. Oh, that's
banks. Sorry. Go to Lincoln. I want to see Lincoln. Yeah, he's got a $5. She's go to Lincoln.
You guys keep on just saying go to and then before they click on him
You say go to another person. I have to explain to you
Let's pick a lane kids. Let's fucking pick a lane. Don't cause kids. All right. We're older than both
Wow, he's doing your ad
I'd rather watch Gabby's power. Gabby, will you do a cameo?
Go back.
Wow.
Look at Bill.
Now, you think this is what just dig into deep.
I think the creating a revenue stream that shouldn't exist and it's taking advantage
of that.
So should this be free stream that shouldn't exist and it's taking advantage of hand. So should this be free?
This shouldn't exist.
And how much does the company make an offer every set?
They make a percentage of them.
Yeah.
Of course.
They're not doing it for me.
It's just, look, I have a lot of friends who are on here.
This Steve.
Go to Steve's.
13.
13.
Why so cheap?
He's a good guy.
He doesn't want to fucking, you know, he's's just say I'll do this for a little couple bucks
Scroll down see if he's got more see if I'm up there scroll down no
Yeah, no that's high on moody. He's only done six of them
No, you don't have to put all of them up there. Oh, all right. Let's go because I'm sure I might be the people that are buying yours keep them private
I'll do it
I if you pay me 50 hours or call anybody the unward
Start that who's not going to write anybody anyway, I'll give a shit. I go on the right Joe Rogan
Yeah, you can't do the way to the left of the sky fest and do that
Wow fucking crazy man get her up. I mean, listen, man, they helped me
promote my dates. So it's pretty good. I worked with all and fucking Vegas. Nicole Amy
Schroiber. Yeah. She was nice. Nice girl. That's guys. Two dollars. All right, guys, listen.
This is real. Here's the deals. Uh, oh, they apparently a lot of fucking comedians. And
I, here's what scares me worse is I don't know any of the I know five of those people
Yeah, but some of them are so rich. Why are they doing it? I don't get it. It seems like
Because they're below them because their people make them do it because their agencies and like look
I don't know that's true. You think that Jeff made that up just made it up
I don't have a head not true at all. No no one told me that
I'm not true at all. No one told me that.
I just, I just, I just realized what I was doing.
I know I just was like, it sounded like I thought you guys
gonna buy it.
It was a 50-50 shot.
And apparently you, you clock sucker,
had a fucking call me out.
So fucking cook.
I'm glad you got cooked.
I'm glad you got cooked.
They paid so much money.
Why would they, it seems like they're above that some of them.
I don't get it.
Well, I understand what you're saying,
but it's probably just the thing.
People who are plugged into being famous,
they have to do Twitter, they have to do Facebook,
they have to do every social media that might be something,
they probably have to do.
Whoever's on there doesn't get it.
There's about three famous people up there doing that. Yeah.
Chris Delay at the Apollo and fucking kept the leaves.
Great.
Because he's the leaves.
Thousand dollars.
His is almost a gag.
Where is it?
If I'm going to even pull up my camera,
you're paying me a thousand dollars even do this.
So in his mind, he's going,
all right, well, I guess if somebody really wants to pay me a grand,
I'll do it.
I wonder if anybody has.
I'm sure some of you are.
I don't get to the right.
We I looked at it a while ago on my show.
Nobody at that time. So you knew what this was. So why you're pretending that you didn't even know what this was. What are we talking about you are. I don't get to the right address. I was there a while ago on my show, and nobody at that time had that.
So you knew what this was,
so why you were pretending that you didn't even know
what this was.
When we talked about it,
I specifically brought up Yonna's being honored.
I said that I did.
We talked about this before.
I just made that up too.
You don't listen.
No, I do listen.
I just want to see if you listen.
That was a double listen test.
Yeah.
Book a Gamiro.
I ain't doing the ship less than one cat.
That's what I was.
I mean, you can't get fucking funny, other than that. That's fucking real funny. That's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's I can tree. Look at that. How much is a hundred bucks? A hundred bucks. Wow.
Like Michael Rappaport, a famous actor.
He's a famous. He's always doing stand up though.
Michael Rapport's stand up.
He's not doing stand up.
Doing stand up. No joke.
Name one club. He's working on it.
Buddy, he's at the call.
He's at the store.
Is he?
Yes.
Is that the store?
Michael Rapport doing stand up.
At the store.
First time you were standing up, Micro-rapport.
Yup.
And then Bill Burke calling out Micro-rapport.
Uh-oh.
We want to see.
I don't want to hear the commercial.
Yeah, he's doing stand-up now.
A lot of comedians are doing stand-up now
because it's a lot of comedians are doing stand-up.
A lot of actors are me.
A lot of actors are doing stand-up now.
And Rappaport started as a stand-up.
I believe he did. Yes. Well, his father used to own the fucking improv
What his father owned the improv was partners with bud Freeman
So why would you why would you be shocked when I said that he does I think he's such a good actor that he doesn't need to do standout
Oh, yes, man. He's doing stand up. So is that other guy from our what's his name?
Are you sure fear? No. Oh, the guy he was me too. Yeah.
What's in who's played? He played Ari Emmanuel Jeremy Pivots doing I mean doing a shitload of clubs. Yeah.
Everywhere I go, he's there the week after me or the way he was just there.
The reality is stand up is not that hard. No good stand-up is good stand-up is.
What do you want to say?
I mean, how good is schoolers and fucking old actors and they're just like,
you know, why not?
All right, I can say I'll take it and then they figure it out.
I have people, I know people that aren't funny that we're smart enough to figure it out.
Well, we do too.
Yeah.
I'm looking at two of them.
You got, you had to get, we were ganging up on him. Oh, we were. Yeah, we were.
I was saying him and I said, I said, we do do. And then you go, I'm looking at doing me.
I'd turn on me. You took my joke and fucking made it about me. We can't do radio.
Are you seeing? I'm done. I can't do anything with you. Can you raise my number please? Yeah, you say it looks screeched back in the day.
He started your Santa comedy.
MMA fighters, your Santa comedy.
Yeah, but there is a,
there is a, what MMA fighters do comedy?
A, a handful.
A handful.
You know, I'm fucking five.
A Brendan Shaw.
One.
He's killing it.
One, two.
One.
There's no way
X champ is fucking doing stand-up
Combo stand-up. It's really to hip-hop album. You're an asshole. I want to fucking kill you's not doing stand-up
How much about how much you want about why do you stand up right there? Oh?
Well how dumb do you I don't feel dumb. I feel betrayed
Fucking guy a little bit. I was trying to prove you right
That's two who's the other guy he was actually the two I was a he said a handful Gerald Harris
He shot the fuck up. He's putting names together Michael
Osbow
Why would I make this stuff up John Heffron?
Okay, I'm a
He's not in the fight or though
No, but yeah, I mean, you know, it's not rogan. We put too much is a comic first we put too much
Not a fighter. We were man to size we were man to size his business the reality is
People would way rather have been Margera than anybody first or stormy Daniels is doing comedy now and she'll go and sell out a tour
Yeah, yeah, he hears the thing
It's not you can't blame them for trying.
It's the clubs that got us to be comedy clubs.
Well, they want to sell tickets and make money.
Why do you blame them?
But then just have knife fights.
Lou, here's the thing we're saying.
Lou is gonna fucking be booked all over the country.
No, I'm just saying.
Yes, you're right.
You'll be fucked on a superstar.
The coach won't fight for any too.
But you're supposed to build up a rebuke
take it for good comedy.
I can't listen to nobody cares about it.
I'm saying nobody.
We're the comedians are the only ones
who have this romantic like, oh my god.
Comedy's gotta be good.
The audience doesn't give a fuck.
Clubs don't give a fuck.
Nobody cares except for comedians
where they're struggling.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Yeah, listen, which most of the time are struggling.
Cause also one of the ones that are always fucking,
I hate it.
I hate, I fucking, man, to I hate to agree with you.
But I think you're right.
Nobody cares.
I know.
I think, you know, Lewis has a point.
Here's the thing.
You watch certain comics and you sit there and I watch.
There's a couple of my watch them and I'm like, okay, let me see what people
and I get lost.
I forget where I am when I watch them.
And then when I watch a great comic, I'm captivated.
I learn something.
I, it's in me.
I don't forget it.
You know what I mean?
But there's a lot of comments you're just watching.
You're like, why are they laughing that and that?
Like people, I listen to crowds and like,
you'll say this and then that.
And then they'll say a punch or like,
almost up to a punch, not even a punch.
And people are laughing at a or a tag.
And I'm like, that is literally not funny.
I always listen to a famous comic going home.
I'll tell you off the air.
Unrated.
Jerugan.
No, no, no, he, no, I'm,
I'm listening to, and I'm going,
it's called, it's Skankfest Trace.
I was mad at the audience for laughing.
I was, I'm going, what the fuck is,
for a year?
But, but, but, but here's the thing is,
I don't think, I think Lewis is right.
I don't think they care.
I don't think there's anymore.
I don't think they, I don't think they did. I think people want to just grow up. No, I don't think Lewis is right. I don't think they care. I don't think they did.
I think people want to just grow.
I think people just want to have a good time.
Yes, and people care more about celebrity
than they care about actually it's got laugh.
They want to have a good time.
Yes.
Seeing Screech is more valuable to them
than having a real good hearty laugh at a good joke.
Yeah, well how many people watch out of my show
that don't know me?
And be like, that is the, we come here all the time.
And you are the funniest comic we ever saw.
And I say, but yeah, but you, they will come here
and see famous person, famous person.
And they don't give a fuck.
That doesn't, that doesn't buy me a shit.
So they get more likes on their Facebook photo of Screech
or of this other guy than they are of you.
But how do we have the, let me ask the question.
People live in though, they live off of this other guy than they are you. But how do we have the solution?
People live in though, they live off of this sort of like
Facebook like in Dorphin, fucking.
But how?
But how?
Okay, say rich, right?
Great comic.
Fucking hilarious, great.
Ready?
No him.
Top three crowd workers.
Right here.
Top three at car work in the world.
Unbelievable.
Say he.
Todd Barry could say. Rich Voss. Top three of car work in the world. Unbelievable. Say he. Hard-married to Joey.
Rich Foss.
Say he wants to go, he wants to become one of the greats.
He wants to become one of these touring guys
that does theaters.
How does he do it, Lose?
As Voss?
How does he do it?
I have to kill someone.
No, I'm not asking you.
I'm not, I'm not where you're at your head.
I'm asking Lewis, how does he do it?
What is the way for him to do it?
He becomes famous, famous famous famous.
I'm talking, no, I'm talking touring the country
doing clubs and theaters making a ton of cash.
I know how.
Now move to LA and become a regular on Rogan.
I can help.
That could help.
I can introduce you to him at Skatecans.
I've done it twice.
I've done it so twice. I've known them for 30 years. Nobody thought the phone's working
Nobody the not working
I literally want to fucking stab you if I didn't think you would choke me with one of your fucking big Arab hands
I would fucking stab you why is he MMA to know he's Arab
Taliban that's it.
First person to tweet at me with, uh,
yeah, I love the YKWD podcast.
Now give me my Skankfest and YT, C tickets with the hashtag.
There you go.
You guys would appear a free Skankfest and YT tickets.
VIP.
VIP all right.
You get that means you get to go backstage, meet Rogan,
get a side teacher, and you're gonna grappling lesson by Rogan you get grappling rages you to jutsu
He teaches you how to do a spin kick that he taught George St. Pierre at his fucking house
I'm teaching the real technique. He taught George St. Pierre like an inch off
Because he didn't want to teach him the real shit exactly and
4,000 worms on you and you get a rump roast from a moose that Joe fucking killed a week ago
Right And you get a rump roast from a moose that Joe fucking killed a week ago Right
Yeah, this guy buddy. See buddy says hey, did you give a pair of skank physics?
It's away on white you to be the I called that it was busy didn't see you guys on show give him away, but I did
I just once
What is this?
Listen why you guys are just get Well, you guys are doing nothing.
Listen, this I should deal with.
No.
Listen, oh, sorry.
Let me see.
I said the first person that tweets at me,
I love the fact that you're being called. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no right here on eight four five eight four just call Lewis right now. What are you
doing Flash? Why are you mesmerized? I'm watching Rogan Kick. Oh yeah Jesus Christ. You imagine that What do you do when you have inside conversations on a part of all of this stuff showing him stuff you're on a show show him a after
Fucking idiot stop distracting the show we're almost done put your phone away
What
I said look at me look at me. I'm gonna count to five one
Two I don't want to put you through that challenge.
This Tuesday, this Tuesday,
at the fat black pussy cat, live, my wife hates me
with Jessica Kurson as our marriage counselor,
it's gonna be fucking great.
All the shows are great.
Even with Bobby, even though he didn't think it was,
it was a funny little part.
It wasn't a great show because you made it into a podcast.
I was supposed to be your fucking counselor
and then you started asking me questions.
I'm trying to promote a show.
It is a great show.
Let me tell you, I produced the first two,
and that's when they were really great when I produced them.
When you produced them, you know,
I made it like a therapy session,
but flowers and tissues and I got a great host.
We have music that went with the people and blah, blah, blah.
But now it's, you know, now, no, it's a great show.
It's a great show.
This Tuesday at the fat black.
This Tuesday.
Yes.
This Tuesday fat black, Jessica Kirchon.
Don't forget solar vagus.
Kirchon, I saw what I say.
Oh.
You just corrected me.
What?
Oh yeah, comedy seller Vegas.
We're there.
What are we in Vegas?
May what, what are you? Vos.llo Vegas. We're there. What are we in Vegas? May what what are you?
Vos Vos Vos what the fuck are you doing?
I think I see a picture of Arnie's tits and I'm not even lying
How are they?
Yeah
It's not rain Look at me look at me look at me look at of all the people, out of all the people they get to see them.
It's not Colin.
It is actually a kill.
It's serious.
You're so serious.
You're so serious.
You're so serious.
How do you get up on the end?
It's literally hurt to win this.
I know I took a picture.
Oh.
Oh, you Guys were fucking so
This is live
Why not just go to tweet
That's what you get for showing for fucking diverting attention from my podcast, doing your side cross talk,
they're not supposed to do.
That's what you get.
Louis knows what her boobs look like.
Oh man, that's what you do.
Fuck you, I'm glad.
He showed her boobs on tough crowds.
To me a favor, will you draw them for me later?
Right.
Just take your shirt off.
Mine are way bigger than hers.
You're out of your mind.
He showed them on tough crowds.
No, she didn't she did she
Yeah, that's not showing him he just
Electric rattlesnake just saw
Fucking kids the best that's the gr. I always thought I married her like him
Her mom's hot too 20 second through 26th of May. Yeah, 20 seconds to the 26th of May. What oh Vegas me Keith rich Ross Paul Versey and
Then I'll go into Vegas you play Vegas yet
No, no she didn't get back to me. Where does she did she said to hit her up again?
I don't really work the seller anymore. You should fucking do Vegas man
You Jay she wouldn't even give me spots at the clubs in the city. There's got a spot tonight
Shut up. It wasn't through her. Well, just don't worry about it. Yeah, whatever to you'll be fine
You're specials coming out everything's working. You're doing good. You're gonna know I'm a
Don't fucking cook yourself. I'm not cooking myself. I can't get booked at the comedy seller any less by saying they don't book me
Beforeting yeah, yeah, yeah, I just popped a hemorrhoid.
Yeah, yes.
All right, check it out.
Is that a hemorrhoid?
Yeah, you can do that.
Anywho.
Yeah, go to comedy.
No, don't pull that up.
No, that's not going to pull that up.
No, don't do that.
What else you got?
You're going to be, well, come on.
Gotham next week, you're in the city.
Yeah, you're going to be at left out Calgary.
Yeah, Gotham.
I'm here at Gotham next week. I'm also shooting a movie next week. I can't even tell you what movie
Huh, the Neverland Ranch. No, I'm shooting a movie next week. You're gonna be Spider-Man, buddy. I'm a
Nope, I wish I was. I would love to play Kingpin. It's in that vein
And not in that vein. I'm a character. You guys all know and love.
Kathy Bates and
Missouri.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me say what? Let me see. No, no, no, no. Why can't I see?
Beat it. Show me Don's titties. All right, here you go.
Show me Don's titties. I'll show you.
Well, you show me first. I don't trust you. Why don't you trust me? Why would I trust you? You're Puerto Rican. I just showed boss.
Fucking all right. There you go. You ready? I'm gonna take your shirt off. No, it's gappy. I know
I'm tired. I don't want to use all my
Let's take a listen in. You haven't all night.
You haven't all night
Tuesday at fat back, but shit my wife hates me live
Be careful about me, let's get him. Oh, sorry. What are you doing?
What show?
Let me see cross All around sorry don't worry about. Let me see, cross over. We can't see.
We're all around.
Sorry, don't worry about it.
They can't see.
We were just like, they can see.
Alright, come here.
Alright.
I hope it's a picture of us, Dick.
Oh my god.
That was actually some fat chick on the internet.
This was actually dawn. I have to see dawn's tits to take photos of them by the way.
I'm glad you guys have a good sex life.
Fucking Christ.
Anyways, alright, we got scared.
Listen man, scary fest is going down.
Take it to gonna be sold out very soon.
If you didn't get your ticket, Chad, you're gonna be fucking out of luck.
It sells out.
I'm telling you, every year,
if VIP pass are gonna sell out quickly,
don't wait because you'll be able to get
Friday pass will probably be available
for a few more weeks, but don't wait.
Sam tripling, I love Sam.
Sam's got, I mean, the fucking lineup,
you guys really have, I think, the best.
You Kyle Dunnigan's coming?
Where's he Kyle Dunn onion? I see him right there
Is that Kyle I don't have my glasses on I can't see
No Keith Robinson. This is called Keith Robinson
Same thing, huh?
Kurt Mezzard, Joe DeRose. I mean, we're talking about like Michael Chey. Yeah, I would show Rogan
Unfuckin believe I can't be like Lauren teen just get curious a big J. J. Cigarabra, Jeanne Garafalo, Eddie Bravo, Doug Benson,
Dan Soder, Dan Natterman.
What a, let me tell you something to great fucking fans,
great crowd.
If, I mean, just last year was a blast.
The year before was great.
Unbelievable festival.
It's one of the best, I love just the laughs.
And this festival right here, right up there, I fucking love it. What a great festival. It's one of the best. I love just the laughs. And this festival right
here, right up there, I fucking love it. What a great festival. It's a legitimate festival
in New York City. It's not a hygiene shit. It's not a money making thing. It's a fucking
real comedy festival, real shows, real fans. Get your tickets now, skankfest, NYC. It's
a number three Joe Roganlined in the whole event.
So let's make sure we get this down.
And this weekend, yeah, we pay everybody, we don't charge comedians for submissions,
we had over a thousand comedians submit this year, watch all those tapes.
Most most comedy festivals charge 25, 30 bucks and go through their tapes.
And then they give a fuck about the comics, because even the lineup, it's an alphabetical
order.
It's not some asshole who likes this guy more than that girl,
or they just say fuck it.
It's all showcases.
There's no single headliner.
It's always a comedy.
Jeffrey Rogan is gonna probably say
he's a separate thing in a separate category.
Anyhow, there's Friday, you gotta come see
the Keswick Theater, Bobby Kelly,
Florentine, the comedy, great again tour.
No, that's given it a new name.
Well, we've given it unscensored.
Uncensored.
How about this?
One of us won't be here next year tour.
How about let's call.
How about how about men of a certain age?
Men of a certain age.
There's what the girl is doing independent film.
So anyways, it's going to be great. I'll see you downstairs. Richie, thanks for coming
in. I always like this is my favorite podcast to do. It's just my favorite podcast. I love
it. I'm glad Lewis came. I don't know about Lewis. I've always liked. Yeah. Maybe that
he's fucking getting successful and he might help you out later and he can't help me.
Yeah, he can help you. Nobody can help. I saw it was trying to say.
I'm gonna tie a machine.
Yeah, where you say your father's life is.
You guys.
Becky, of course, you're hanging out.
Always the greatest.
Bobby, yeah, laughable.
Okay, laughable.
And your Patreon.
On my Patreon, patreon.com.sets.
Robert Kelly, when are we shooting the new episodes first of all that right there?
Can we grab that and bring it over here and show everybody?
Lot wish live from the shed in the wicked time
We are shooting it because I don't have heat is it next Wednesday?
Oh, boy, he in your shed or in the business
I'm gonna eat yeah live for the show all day. Yeah, live from the pussycat. Uh, we're shooting live from the pussycat. We have that. Look at that gorgeous sign. We have, um,
Liza Colbe is coming down. She is one of the fucking most amazing rock and roll singers
in New York City. She has been for fucking 15 years. She is the shit. And she's coming on. And we
also have Brian Coppeman coming down to do live from the pussycat, from the fat black,
because we can't do the shit because we have no heat. And it'll be too cold. And there
you go. So over the with the time for my patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, you have, you're going
to have these two episodes coming up very shortly. We also have a brand new one on one and black and white up right now with the great Rob
Duke from the lead singer of Exodus is up there when I was in Arizona and a couple of
things coming down.
So let's make sure you go to patreon.com.
So that's Robert Kelly.
If you're a fan of mine, go become a fan there and donate to that
that system. What else we got? What do you got?
Hiccup shit.
I'm at my cabrousey on Twitter, Instagram everywhere and I got a podcast called A Little Time
that you can download and listen to.
Great podcast, great guy, funny, looks weird but trust me.
Hello.
Go check out his podcast Becky, what do you got?
She's been on it.
I have.
Hey, um, how do you not? I just I want a bite or jeez but I know she'd hit me. Go ahead.
Oh my comedy photographer at human places on Instagram the ease of three.
All right great thanks for coming thanks for being here I love her energy.
Gabby what do you have besides fucking hey hair?
You so transitioned hair last week. Yeah.
And I thought about it for the rest of the night. You can follow me on Instagram.
At Gabby is Brian. I host a monthly show every first Wednesday at the
way station in Brooklyn. And that's it.
Yep. What do you got?
I'll be with you tomorrow. Oh, am I there?
I know. Yeah. Shit. Okay. Yeah. Is it really? I can't host that all right. Well, you'll host
So I'll be there with you
You're coming back Chris is doing a spot too. He's doing a five minute spot. What what good?
Be at yonkers this Friday. You are yeah. Oh no shit with three other people all right cool
Hopefully, but I'm gonna call I know how long's worse gonna be there. Oh cool. Hopefully, we'll have a car. I know, hollinsworth's gonna be there. Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Awesome.
You can follow me at Mike Fee Suarez on Instagram.
Follow us at YKWDude Podcast.
Make sure you are also subscribed to our YouTube.
Now, you can find out when all the videos are coming up.
If you like it, like it, leave a comment.
Yeah, like it.
And if you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
Just move on.
Don't be a loser.
If you want to come in as an audience member, ykwd producer at ryecast.com
We'd love to have you on the count. Yeah, please come in and and make sure you like it and subscribe and
What else?
That's it Zach. What do you have?
Zach the new guy low we good
You check out the other pods Legion of skanks real-ass podcasts believe you. You guys can get them all for free on gassage.com,
all the live streams are free.
If you guys like, you know what I did with,
no disrespect, no disrespect.
No disrespect.
They had a great show dude.
They fucking care.
They put so much, they put so much prep and energy
into that show and it shows you.
They went from, literally, they just created the show
very recently and it's getting really, really popular.
So, that's a great show.
Yeah, I love it. If you guys like really good podcasts, just go's getting really popular. So it's a great show. Yeah.
I love it.
If you guys like really good podcasts, just go to gastageonnetwork.com, look at the schedule.
There's free.
You watch every show for free on the platform.
We're going to do it.
We're doing a camping comedy camp.
We're going to rent a bunch of shit, a bunch of lots up at the KOA.
Are you in?
I'm 100% in.
Maybe we'll get some of the, we'll get some of the we'll get some of the rye cast shows
Some of the gas digital shows who go up there and fucking take over that be incredible It's up in new new bird right it's kind of ghetto, but I'll tell I will have our whole crew bring our we have a mobile rig
We do video you everything. Yeah, we'll do a bunch of shit up there. We'll fucking have food
Well barbecue will hike and we'll swim fucking run a train on Gabby
All right, so she guys
What does that mean? Oh my god fucking no you don't she does it gang bag
Well, it's one at a time. Yeah. Oh, at least there's patience
All right
Y a lo que, el doctor de la gente. Y a lo que, el doctor de la gente.
Ya era un bomba de la gente,
y la gente era el 10-second.
Allí, lo que hicimos,
es que todos los fans de la gente se han visto.
Y no lo ha hecho. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.
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