Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Barrier Of Entry
Episode Date: January 20, 2020YKWD returns with Bobby testing out his new Oculus Quest with guests Ian Fidance and Mike Feeney! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
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Hoy es un dÃa de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el dÃa.
Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene.
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso que Madrid nos lia.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia.
Un número de mao, a Madrid. I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best This is it, NPR. That's the Tarkand done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe one too many Bannonano now.
Now maybe we didn't need the favorite refrain.
I maybe.
No. I love more how it's the third refrain. I maybe, no.
I love more how it's the original podcast.
What's that?
That was more how it's the original podcast.
I started everything.
You weren't even, you didn't even know what the podcast was
when I was doing podcasts.
Even born.
You weren't even born.
You knew it was mustache.
You just regular.
It's just a normal thing.
You just a regular little thing.
Are you, you're Italian?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
You weren't Jewish. I love Ashkenazi, but no, no.
Everybody does.
Everybody claims that Ashkenazi now,
because they started a fucking independent film.
I'm fucking, I'm one quarter Ashkenagi.
Because that study came out that said
they're smarter than everyone else.
Yeah, all right, Elizabeth Warren, relax. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I have to thank real quick, I don't know if you can do that.
I don't care if you do.
I wanna thank all the Patreon new people.
I love you people.
Right now you guys are getting it live.
Why?
Because you're awesome.
You're the best.
You support what I do and you pay a little money.
Now money makes the world go around.
God bless you guys.
James took tat crazy.
Ryan Sullivan, Torrey Beavitt Beavons,
Lisa Ipa-Lito, Diverna, Stephen Kiddler, Stephanie Falcone, Christian Sosa, Geo Al-Rarras,
Mike Hublitz, Dan Whit, you got it. Yeah. Mary Virgin, Schfinkler, Nott Fumes, Ty, plus Gash, Callahan.
Nico, Rudei, Niko, Niko, Niko, Niko, Niko, Niko, Niko, N Start fucked up. Nico Ruiz, Kevin Hoff, Brent Eldridge,
Aaron Vasquez, Rudy Ortega, John, just John.
Marcus Gorza, Joseph Adams, Joe Scott Kaplan,
we have Greg, just Greg, what are you doing?
This second time.
It's a work in progress.
Just put it on the table.
Relax.
Robert Bradley just Joe Stoludo, Robert Bradley combs Tyler Weaver, John V, Dan Cron,
Ronald, Ronald, Rowan, Ronald, okay, Harold, six, nine, just leave it alone.
Just leave it.
Stop. It's always you, Mike's leave it stop. It's always you Mike's not doing anything
It's always you you're the kid that trips for attention. That's what you are, okay?
You can't sit there and let it not be on you Mike sitting there like a sophisticated young man
Like a tall glass of water and you're sitting there like a silly oomph all his alive family
He really does Tyler Weaver John V Dan shut up while I'm reading the names.
Dan Crone, Rowan, Ronald, Harold 69,
20 Eric Stahlman, JP, just JP, Michael, Lord, Philip,
Brian Pico, Kim Little, Andrew McLean, Merklin,
status, Stephen Rogers, Andrew, Sal clean status. That's Stephen Rochester. Andrew Salgiver, Salgiver.
Shane Johnson. I love you. Freckles, Perry A. Joshua Torres, Patrick Myers, Jimmy, Jimmy,
Jimmy and Rick Verna. And John Glennon. Thank you so much.
Be a member of the Patreon. You're getting the show live.
You get everything we do.
Life of the Sheds coming up, Bonnie McFarlane
and the great gym, Norton, this month for you guys only,
right here, and we're doing those,
me and Mike are gonna be doing a tech talk
with Bobby and friends.
Up here, we're gonna be doing them up here for you guys only in first and my phone's going off.
We have a great show tonight.
I, first of all, welcome.
We introduce our guest, Michael.
We have Mike Fini and Ian Fadanza.
Yeah.
Is it Fadanza of finance or finance?
Fidance.
Fidance.
Fidance.
Now that doesn't sound too Italian.
It used to be Fidanza.
So I guess it should be Fidanza.
Why would you not go by Ian Fidanza?
Because they change it like a century.
Yeah, but you could change it back to Fidanza.
Dude, Ian Fidanza.
Give it up for Ian Fidanza.
It's like Tony Danza.
I'm not there.
Fidanza.
Dude, you're not if finance is stupid.
It's not Fidanza.
No, finance is a separate comic.
There's another comic in E. E. E. No, no, it's filing. It's E. E. E. L. E. L. E. finance is a separate comic. There's another.
No, no, it's filing.
Oh, filing land.
One letter off.
And they're competing to see who
going to have the better career.
You know, you're good looking now.
Okay.
Because you're Irish, but you're going to be a ugly old guy.
I told you that.
Oh, it's like, you're Irish.
It's like Jan Michael Vincent.
You know what I mean?
Just lips are getting.
Oh, the flips will get then.
So teeth will get gray.
The thumbs will recede.
That hair will always be there though.
Thank you.
Always be there.
Unlike some of us.
They say to a hairline, you have a 30s to hairline
you have when you're 70.
Yeah.
That's how that's in my pubes.
I got two little fucking, I got two little fucking bushes
on the side of my packa.
Hair liners have progeria.
It's fucking aging.
We write that on the way up, but I just write that now.
Unfortunately just right now.
Oh, okay, let's work on it.
You know what?
It's new jokes now, let's get to that.
Yeah, I did do my set, I'll just do it.
Yeah.
A couple of things I want to talk about tonight,
I wanna, are you afraid of heights?
Okay, good enough.
Well, I'm gonna talk about it,
but I got the Oculus Quest.
What is that?
Exactly.
It's the best.
Well, around, I would say five or six years ago,
I would go to these tech conventions.
Like South by Southwest has them.
It's just a big open floor of all the shit coming out.
Like when Moefe was coming out for the phones
and headphones and wireless headphones,
all this shit, like the true wireless,
like the ear pods are, you know,
because before that they were wireless,
but they were connected to a wire.
And they said, you know, they're not wireless.
But I would go to these things,
and all of a sudden I saw this VR shit
was just popping the fuck off.
And I was like, two years in a row,
I started it self by self-wrested. And I was like, two years in a row, I started it self by self-west.
And I was like, wow, this is the next thing
that it never took off.
Cause you had to get a big computer
and it had a thousand dollar fucking cameras
on the corner and set up this pervert.
Fucking nuts.
And all of a sudden I'm talking to Rob,
the founder of Riotcast,
my old partner, always my partner, sometimes lover, mostly
friends.
He said, I got the Oculus Quest, because I told my kid was in a room, I was using this
paying 10 bucks for 10 minutes to use this VR thing in this mall.
And he loved it.
And he was like, dude, you got to get the Quest.
And I'm like, I can't, you know, whatever.
And he goes, you can't get him,
cause this is changing VR,
because you don't need the computer,
you don't need to be plugged in.
It's all in the headset.
It's, everything goes in there.
And I'm like, you fuck you.
And he shows me this stuff, and I look,
and he goes, they're out of stock.
You can't get him.
And then all of a sudden, somebody sends me a link.
I go to Amazon, they're gone.
Someone sends me an online, fucking best,
but gone, oh my gosh, shit.
So I know if that's happening in the tech world,
if you, if the nerds are grabbing them,
and the rest of the people don't know,
this is the next big thing.
They finally figured out VR,
because now the average asshole can put this headset on,
put these little sticks,
and they get away with the little hand controllers too.
This year because there's cameras on the front of it,
there's all these cameras.
They're gonna just use your hands.
Yeah, hand, yeah, hand-trained.
You don't have the, you won't have it.
You'll just use your, so when you grab something,
it's your hand grabbing it.
And when you, it's fucking nuts.
Sometimes it's nice to hold the thing though,
the little controller, just cause it feels like
you're gripping something.
You're an idiot.
Alright.
If you could climb a mountain with your hands, grab a gun with your hand as of
learning a new curve, which is you have to push this button in your hand open,
push that button in the closes, that's a whole new curve.
I mean gamers do it all the time, but the average dickhead can't do that.
The average dickhead doesn't know to push X
and then the other controller,
that's some serious gaming shit.
But if you can just put your hand out there
and your hand grabs that bottle in the virtual world,
that's a game changer.
That means my mom could do it.
Right.
And when you draw this square around you, and that's the environment.
When you step out of the square, you can see everybody, but it's in black and white, like
fucking terminator shit.
Jesus.
Like I can see you, but it's like fucked up.
Like I get, it's like all kind of black and white stuff, but I can still, I know not to
step out of the thing.
Right.
It's crazy. You can go what you can you can watch a movie
Go to a theater in your house with other people sit down pick your seat
Yes, and you can get kicked out of the theater. She's too noisy and watch a movie from your fucking house
But hey, that's it. Do it. Life if we all wanted if you had one and you had one and we all went to the movies on a fucking
Thursday. Yeah, like a video game character would kick us out. Yeah, we're being too
loud. No, the person running the room will fucking just be like boot you out of the room.
Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We can don't we can get our own theater and
pick it like three. We could pick our own theater and meet in the theater.
And just be a little bit of a wrong theater. I don't know.
You have to really get? I don't know.
You have to really get the instructions.
I want everything I say.
You keep fuck, I mean, can you just go with it?
I'm asking.
You like my fucking up?
I'm not.
No, you're not.
You're fucking, no, you're not.
Let's build a brick by the way.
I say, I said, no, you didn't.
I said we got the thing to get in the way with the crew.
I like the controller, do you?
And then I say we're gonna sit and watch a movie like,
yeah, but can you build it? Who the what I'm saying but I said is that an option
because I would like to feel fucking blue collar asshole you want to build the
house before we go to sleep and yeah fucking iron some you wouldn't feel better
going to sleep at night knowing you built the house of your wife sleeping I
would feel good yeah never gonna happen in real life so let's in virtual
reality let's virtual reality be a man.
Yeah.
In the time.
Well, it's, and then we just did the porn.
They told me to go to Pornhub.
What's that like?
Buddy, you're gonna find out tonight, baby.
We're doing it?
You're doing it.
No.
I got it set up over here.
Shut up.
But first we have to push you off a building.
Oh, oh, what?
Yeah, what?
Yeah, you push stuff to building.
No, you got to.
Are you serious?
You're going to have to walk out on a wooden plank
or the top floor of a building.
I've heard about this.
And you're going to have to be so scared.
You're going to have to jump off to get to the porn.
Is this a trusted thing?
Yeah, this is a YKWD.
Can you?
I'm going to be the first casualty of the virtual reality.
I want to remind you that I, one time used the Oculus years ago, I did the Beat Saber
game, which was awesome, but then I did some mountain climbing thing.
My shoulders were getting sore just from doing this over and over.
Dumas, and then I fell and it was giving, like your eyes just see that 3D environment.
Hey, could I say something Mike? Next time you don't even have to remind them, just tell them.
What?
Why you remind you, I want to remind you, why you reminding?
Oh, I don't know.
Just tell them.
All right.
Hey, I want to remind you about something.
You're not every, I just did a virtual reality act like you're listening. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Ah, what are you fucking, you'll see, you'll see, you'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see.
You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. figured it out though. I know that other people have VR, but it's such a huge set up.
I did it at a buddy's house and I'm like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, you don't know where
you are. You can take this on the road.
It's around. But imagine taking it. Imagine you get it. I, I, some, a friend fan, you know,
when you're fucking, I mean, I did a little bit.
I got it for you. Yeah, man, I just, I, someone just said, here's a link dude, and I clicked it.
Wow.
And I was like, max college,
well, VR, and I clicked a VR.
I love it.
Yeah, I got it.
So.
We can go to virtual reality college.
We can put himself in the class.
Yeah.
I'm not even kidding, but to Rye University.
You joke, you just, I want to remind you that,
I know. You, I mean remind you that, no.
I mean, you're gonna be able to go to school
and be taught by a teacher in your house
if you want that.
Apps are fucking lootly.
Versa reality title now.
Dude, Facebook is joining forces with Oculus Quest.
I don't like it.
Can I finish it?
Sure. Before you give your screams, I don't like it. How can I finish it?
Before you give your screams, I don't like it.
Yeah, we get it.
And we get who you are voting for too.
We understand.
Fucking vegan relax.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
Oh, it's too much.
You gotta come up on one of those big-wheeled bicycles.
Like that's what I like.
That's what he is.
Yeah, fucking juggling.
Yeah, I like that. Listen, they're gonna, I don't even know what I like. That's what he is. Yeah, fucking juggling. Yeah, I like like, listen, they're gonna,
I don't even know what I was saying now.
You still have it?
He still has it, the slide whistle.
That's his new, that's become his identity now.
It's actually complimented very well.
And it's infuriating because it.
What is it?
I pulled it out on stage when I was doing like a massively
heavy joke, like a really dark joke.
Yeah, then I say the crowd's like, and I do a slide whistle, it cuts doing like a massively heavy joke, like a really dark joke. And then I say the crowd's like,
and I do a slide whistle,
cuts attention like a knife.
Do you do that when you're fucking people too?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's the sound I make when I come.
Do you come?
Do you?
When I come, it goes,
get zooks.
You lose your erection, it goes,
eew.
I was, what was I saying to you that you did,
oh, Facebook.
Yes.
So Facebook, I saw this whole thing that,
this is, I like this because I'm old.
I'm done.
I'm not doing anything.
You're not gonna, whatever you catch me in, I don't care.
And my wife, if she found out, she'd be like,
I know he's a piece of garbage.
So Facebook, so what I'm saying is like,
some people like, I don't want anybody in my life.
I don't care. Oh, yeah
Facebook so now you'll be able to go into Facebook app on the VR
So me like I'll be like you let's I'll meet you on a plane and you'll be flying on a plane and I'll be able to meet you
In on my plane and we'll be like what's up man? And then Mike you can pull up on another plane
What's up, dude? We can fly around and just talk and hang out like a community in little planes.
And we can fly up, go to the store, get coffee inside of VR and hang and meet like a bunch
of people like that.
We know crazy.
I might never be.
We are excuses for things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
VR porn on the road in a hotel room.
I mean, it feels like it was made for comedians and musicians
and people on the road.
It's pretty intense, but it's gonna get better too.
What, once they've, what?
Let's scare you.
What scare me?
That no one's gonna, it's just isolating us.
No, dude, I got fucking 30 years left.
I'm done.
That's your problem.
That's not my problem.
What about the sound?
Is there headphones or you do?
On mine, a lot of people use headphones
because they have headphones, Jackson either side.
So you can plug it, but you really don't need it
because it has these, I don't know how they do it.
It's this little, this feels like it's going right here.
It's up in the Oculus, but it's coming down into your ears.
And can someone else hear?
No, you can't hear, you can hear.
Wow.
You're gonna flip the fuck out when you put this on.
Oh my god.
I just don't know who to go first, but I couldn't imagine being high doing this.
Dude, I, this almost makes you want to smoke.
Fuck.
I'll test.
I'm very nervous.
This makes me want to fucking.
I'm so nervous.
This makes you want to fucking dope.
I think I should do it first because Ian's probably going to have a much, uh,
nancy reaction.
Are we, I'm gay.
Are we gonna, are we gonna, are we gonna do virtual porn to relax?
I told you, once you get, you have to, you're gonna do the plank first.
Yes.
And then the porn and then maybe, maybe some lightsaber dancing.
I might have you do some lightsaber dancing.
Like, be sabers.
Yeah.
Can I do that?
That's fun.
The lightsaber one.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, do they have you being a ghostbuster? Could I be a ghostbuster? That's not listen. I don't have a beat saber shit. Can I do that? That's fun. The lightsaber one. Oh, oh, do they have you being a ghostbuster?
Could I be a ghostbuster? That's not listen. I don't have a game for everything
Yeah, it's VR would be bad for him. Yeah, you just find him
VR have the L train
They even ill train with the seat on it
Hello there people of the L train. This is Ian
Yeah, you really get sick of his fucking outgoing personality.
I can't imagine.
You ever try and do what it does.
It goes as well as funny though.
Yeah, that was great.
If people haven't seen it because my fans are adults,
and they laugh at real jokes and not silly horse shit,
but if you haven't seen it, no.
And he ends up fucking lunatic.
First, he got the whole train to sing Happy Birthday. Uh, uh, and hands of fucking lunatic.
First, he got the whole train to sing Happy Birthday. Oh, yeah. That's a balls. Yeah. It really does.
But I mean, have you ever tried to do something?
I mean, I've never talked to a full subway car people and yelled.
I know, but I've talked to a room through of 17,000 people.
They wanted it. These people didn't want it.
But you just asked me a question. I answered it.
I've been performing in front of thousands.
I can walk in front of endless enemy.
Let's play.
You are going to train in you yell.
See, let's do it.
Bobby just clams up like eight miles. I'm like, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I could do it. Let's do it. Well, all right, relax.
But we're not going to do it right now because we're going to do this as buckets.
When we're run to the fucking A-trainer now, happy bird.
Hey, you.
It's not a big deal.
I've done it in the Fridays.
I've done it in the P-poppeginos.
I've done it.
It's the filming part of it that makes it more.
People are like, get me off that fucking camera, you know?
No, but people, if you just, if you outweigh them,
if you just fucking ball through it, they don't care.
Right, that's your trick.
Yeah, he just fucking does it,
but look, watch this, ready?
Watch, look, they're right there.
That, see, that smile, that smile underneath that mustache
it reminds people of the fucking Marx brothers,
the three-boss-
The beard is warm and nice.
People feel good.
Nigel Thornberry. nice, people feel good. Nine to the phone, Barry.
Yes, hell air.
But the Ghostbusters won, hollaries.
I, I, when I, this is why it's funny,
because you see him walk in and then he does that.
What'd you say?
I go, Ghostbusters.
I never heard of that.
And then you like, what is he,
and then you realize it's the library
from Ghostbusters.
Which is fucking great.
Did you get yelled at?
Oh yeah, I got Ghostbusters.
I was just saying,
remember Ghostbusters?
They go shh, dude, to be shushed in 2020,
you know how hard it is to get shhushed for real.
Well, then, everybody's afraid to get knifeed.
Right, he went goes buzzers
And I go yeah, who are you gonna call and they go shhh? I go wrong answer. Yeah, it was a funny way
We're gonna a little twink
Security guard floated over so fast. It's like you can't say that my buddy turned the camera
But I go do you remember ghost buzzers wasn't it good he goes one of my favorite movies you need to leave
Do you remember Ghostbusters wasn't it good he goes one of my favorite movies you need to leave
No, no my buddy turned the never turn the key I know even when they say no you just pointed at your shoes for yeah, and you get that audio
Yeah, it's my favorite movie. It's my favorite movie you need to leave
Is on my Instagram I am I saw it was very far. Thanks. No, what else I saw too, which was fucking great is your story.
Well, the haunted, which is I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it. It's a poster. It's a little as a painting.
And behind you. I know you're on other shows and they just like, I'm gonna take over. I got it. I'm gonna do this too.
We'll do it together. But let me host it. What the fuck? Take it away. I'm gonna take over, I got it. I'm gonna do this too. We'll do it together, but let me host it.
What the fuck?
Take it away, mom, fuck it.
Oh, you're taking away.
I'll let you lead.
I have to lead you.
I need you to stay.
I know you're on fucking Adderall
and you can't wait for people.
I'm not on Adderall.
How you shouldn't be.
I know.
I'm taking this to you.
That was a trick one.
You thought I was gonna say you should be.
And I said you shouldn't, even I know.
You're the host? I'm just checking. But anyways, you're a thing. Take it away, Bobby. Thank you, Michael. You thought I was gonna say you should be and I said you didn't even I know
But anyways, you're Thank you Michael
Floors yours. Thank you
Go for it, but okay, whoa, he really fucking thank timing
Jesus Christ
That was a shirt your out he's buffering. Yeah, I
Submit my time back to the committee.
Jesus Christ. You know,
go. You were you were here.
You were staring right out the
command, taking away chokes.
Oh,
the neck. Maybe shit.
I should have.
Yes, I did do a video.
You did a video. Now, here's the thing with Fini's videos,
which I read the script, by the way.
Oh, I liked it. There's little tweaks here, but I like it.
So, um, well, anyways, well, um, he has these great videos and he does these.
I love you. You missed out.
If you, if you're around during vine
I was around during vine and I did I was I was not vine famous ham sandwich on a bus
It was the best it was the best social media following I had a lot of like
Just talk right over what he's no no, he's such a fun thing
He's trying to fucking tell us and you fucking keep yammering off from yeah, I like remember in Chris suck
He's trying to fucking tell us and you fucking keep yammering off from yeah, I like remember in Chris suck He's back
15 minutes on you right up here. I'm just trying to give this fucking twink some time just a second
I had like 15 seconds I like a 15,000 followers of vine. I was doing well
It's up and then all of a sudden they just call out well
That's what I'm saying is if if you started immediately on vine
I think if anybody would have you're perfect if vine stuck around you and then all of a sudden they just go out. Well, that's what I'm saying is if you started immediately on Vine,
I think if anybody would have, you're perfect.
If Vine stuck around, you, you, you, you, that's what TikTok is now.
Your shit is great.
I, I, I just started using TikTok.
I want to get TikTok, but you're great because this video
of your stupid, haunted room.
I mean, this, this, it was a, it was a, it was a, where was it?
First of all, state college PA right across the street from Penn State University. It had, what club? Uh,
wisecrackers. But that's the place they put you up. Yeah. It used to be the remata. And
that, that was not Wilkesbury. No, no, not that one. It's a different one. But it's, um,
it's state college PA, but they have a building from the 1800s and on the website, it looks
like downtown Boston. It's like colonial. It's beautiful. You go in there
They have all these restaurants on the bottom floor and you go up and it's like oh, this is gonna be nice
They go we're giving you the bigger room. I go oh my god
This is great and I go in there the door frames are six feet high
So I originally have to duck my head. There's like stains all over the place
The there's stay there was a door in the bathroom that was closed and had a chair wedged underneath the door knob as if to keep somebody out.
And it was so gross and so terrifying
and the carpets were so stained and nasty.
It was like when you were talking about the other day
how you had to like, you're like,
I'm leaving this fucking apartment with McGubbies
where you're like, I'm staying at a different hotel.
Yeah, but in hindsight it was, I got ribs off some.
Yeah, that's true.
I was getting ribs in bed.
This was like the last times I cleaned it was 1925.
And so I, I couldn't even take a shower.
I turned on the shower, just like dribbles out.
The sink was so disgusting.
It had a, it had been dripping water
that it was for so long.
It's a 1800s.
It's that it's, it was black where it was falling
like a cave, you know what I mean?
It wiped the porcelain, the water.
Oh.
Wipe the porcelain off the sink from dripping
for a hundred years.
Just black rust.
Jesus.
And so the only way to cope with being like, I'm gonna die or get bedbugs or get like, you
know, it's gonna be so disgusting what I'm saying.
And I decided to do a self-defense mechanism and make a fun video of it, which didn't
be.
Did it change rooms?
There is no better room.
This was the best room.
I got the big room, they said.
And this was it.
Yeah, but maybe the big room is maybe not the best room. Yeah. Maybe the smaller room was the best room, but the big room was not the best room. I got the big room, they said. And this was it. Yeah, but the big room is maybe not the best room.
Maybe the smaller room was the best room,
the big room was not the best.
Maybe the smaller room is the best room.
And remember this.
Remember this.
Remind me.
I'm, I mean, I remind them.
I don't know.
I would remember this.
You can say it.
Sometimes I don't know.
But I do remember filming that.
And you know, I had been out, you know,
we went out with some comics and stuff like that.
So by the time I got home, when I filmed that,
after I posted, I was like,
that might be one of the best things I've ever done
on social media, but there was like nobody so hot,
but it still was fun for me to watch and do.
And I actually hit my fucking head on that thing.
Yeah, I saw that.
It's real bad.
Yeah, in the video.
Yeah, in the video.
Oh yeah.
Slam my head off.
Why did you do that?
What?
Because I was looking at myself in the video.
Oh, so you didn't know that that was.
Walking into the bathroom.
And then on the way out, I was like, I'll hit my head again.
But then I saw it coming, so I kind of winced.
And then when I hit my head, I overreacted and slammed my head
backwards, which hits the back of the door.
So I'm like, like that.
So I hit my head three times.
I had a fucking red knot on my head afterwards.
I was like, I've hauled for 400 views,
but it was worth it because it was.
How are the shows?
Fun. The shows were surprisingly great.
I'm like, I wish I could say something bad about them.
They were great and the guy who runs it, Tom, was awesome.
And it was like 85.
No, why can't they push up in a better hotel?
Because it's literally attached to the building.
It's like the venue is where do you just go down
to the face?
But can they get a room that is nice?
Yeah, I mean, you're a town-y one?
Going forward.
We did a video.
Well, they, yeah.
What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what What do you think that's better than sleep and in blood? Well, and here's the other thing. The second night I decide I go, I'm gonna go home
because I'm not saying the second night.
I'll drive the four hours home because it's a seven o'clock show.
So after the seven o'clock show, I go to leave this other
comic that was on the show with me, Mike Spears.
He was on the way home, too.
We found out.
Hang on a second, breathe.
So we're here for awhile.
Okay.
You're literally my brain, my eyeballs are spinning.
I had to slow down.
Feel like I'm in a hog.
Yeah, this isn't vine.
You took all my time. I'm gonna get it in a hole. Yeah, this isn't Vine. You took all my hands out of it.
Get it in.
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.
So this other comedian, Mike Sears, was on the show with me.
And we found out while we were doing the shows, we both live in a story.
So at first we got fuck, we could have fucking carpooled out what a waste of fucking, you know.
And I left about 15 minutes ahead of them, we joked that we would maybe on the highway,
we'd honk at each, something like that, right?
So I drive home, I, just drive in down I-80
for three and a half hours, which is just pitch black,
no street lights, no rest stops, no anything.
I stopped at an abandoned gas station in two guys in Camo,
we're literally resting on a pickup truck,
watching me try and pump gas,
that on a gas station that was off.
You a city boy.
Yeah, like literally duck dynasty beard, everything. That were city boy. Yeah, like literally duck dynasty beard.
That's his dream.
Yeah, he just dropped his pants.
He's gonna blow you country bitches.
Money, gas.
Yeah.
You got a pull of pants, that's it.
It's a boss.
Yeah.
That's just like I stick.
So I end up driving.
So I drive home and I'm doing, I'm doing the speed limit, 70 or whatever,
I'm going like 70, 75, it's pitch black, it is raining,
and it keeps saying deer crossing, deer crossing.
And I'm thinking, if I hit a deer,
I was in a car that hit a deer going like 40 once
and it crunched our whole hood and I go, man,
if I'm doing 75 and I, and a deer jumps out right now,
I could die, like the car could flip over,
it could be the end of my life.
We know how to get in here's work.
But 75, I never considered anywhere else.
We're a dope.
And we've considered it.
I'd just be good enough.
We've done these road trips too.
It's not like, what do you think?
We just dropped the fillion back.
We've done it.
So, regardless, well, I don't know where it tells.
I don't know where it tells.
I don't know where it tells.
I don't know where it tells.
Tell us about the road.
What is that, Christopher? You used to do busy steamroll, and that's why, if you fucking listen, the cat's burned. You're really a steamroll. I don't know where I tell them. I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying?
I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying? I tell them, you know what I'm saying? fill in back. I go, I don't know where to tell, let's them go with him.
Oh, you faggot.
She's, oh my god, peep that out.
I need monetization on YouTube.
You're gonna get a strike for that.
So, anyway, the long story shows,
I love it's from one.
What?
Nothing, though.
So I drive home and I get home fine, right?
The next day I wake up to 10, 30 in the morning,
a message from Mike Spears and he goes,
good thing we didn't carpool.
Last night I hit a deer doing 75 miles an hour
on the highway.
All my airbags went off the car came to a screeching halt
on the thing, the doe exploded into a thousand pieces
and then other cars thankfully didn't smash into him
and the thing and it was in the rain and the worst part is
He was two hours into the drive of a four hour drive
So he's in the middle of nowhere on i80
He has a hotel paid for back in the shithole room that we were in but he can't go back there that's too far
He also can't take a cab home
So he has to have state troopers drive him to a motel
He has to buy a motel for the night then the next day buy a rent a car to drive back to New York City and his car is totally fucked all from that.
And I go, man, you should have just stayed in the fucking terrible hotel.
He goes, I would have rather had what happened to me than stay there another night.
Wow.
Is this car total?
It's gone.
Yeah, it's total.
It's just gone.
Oh, my God.
So that's what happens when you did it.
So when you hit a deer doing seven, that's what happens.
And may I remind you, he was doing 75.
Wait, and so it was a baby deer?
No, it was a doe.
It was a female deer.
A deer.
A female deer.
A deer.
You dumb.
Fucking idiot.
Yeah.
No, a deer.
You learned to be.
You may not come in a lot,
but when you come in,
you got nothing.
It's like.
He just tried to do it.
Now, I checked the singing of the song.
And he failed. My little one that was bad. Yeah, the steamroller. I would give a fuck
if steam roll over him trying to sing this song again. I didn't even hear. I got the joke
and you tried to get another piece off of you little greedy bitch. Okay, so now that's
out of the way. I had a great time.
I was in... How many connections?
Thank you. How many connections were out?
I love that club.
Love it.
And there was a segue inside of this fucking self-praising
rant and boat to go on.
I thought you were gonna say like the real segue
that you ride, I got so excited.
What?
All right, well I'm gonna see you guys later.
I hope you're not.
What happened?
It's been fun for you to ride a segue around.
You know you.
Bobby of a segue.
Hey, Bob.
Hey, Bob, don't try to put everything together.
Sometimes you can just listen.
Sometimes you can be an ear instead of a mouth.
You nose. I
Know my favorite club. I love core. I love both of those guys. They're the best Korean Dave the Korean Dave are the best and and and um
The clubs great and I I sold out three shows almost four four, the crowds are fucking, they've been
to see me fucking, you know, every year I come, did they come and see me? And they showed
up this year. It was awesome. The two guys open up for me were great to fucking do this
from long. I wrote out on the other guy was from, was there really cool guys. They were
killing it, which was fun. I had such a great weekend. Plus, you know, this is my final,
this is my fourth week of the diet, the whole 30. So it's been four weeks with no dairy, no,
no carbs, no sugars. And I feel fantastic. And this weekend was my first week in a alone away
by myself. And I think it was, it was great. A perfect, perfect. I went on a hike. Did this
thing called geocaching? Do you have you heard of that? No. I got, I, I, I'm so bad at texting.
I wish people didn't text me. Fucking Christ. Um, the guy Rob, um, hang on a second.
Let me get his name real quick.
Keep talking.
Gio, what's it called?
C-A-C-H-E.
Gio, cash, G-O-G-A.
Basically, you try to find something based on its location.
Oh, like Pokemon thing.
Real world stuff, though.
It's real Rob Pierce.
Rob Pierce was the middle of a great guy.
He goes, Gio,ache, we're hanging out and you get this app and all of a sudden you turn
it on and all around you, these little dots and people hide these treasures.
They're all over Manhattan and Queens, Brooklyn, everywhere, Jersey.
And we're in the middle, we're at this diner and there's one up the street and you click
it in this hints like the third bush on the left, eye level.
And then you go over there and you find this thing, these coordinates, and you go to
this a bush. And inside of this bush, we found this little metal container, and we pulled
it out and we opened it up and inside of it were these names, like all these names from
like all the way back to 2013, people signing it and writing it. And then you sign it and write shit
and put it back and someone else finds it.
And they're all over the fucking world.
Wow.
So wherever you are, you can hit this thing
and go on this fucking hunt.
What a great way to trick people
into like coming to a place to rob them
if you want to.
You set up a little of the shit.
Yeah, go.
So you just just wander for that.
Yeah, go to the get the truck
stop.
Oh, go for treasure.
Yeah, third.
Yeah, third.
Third bush of the
left.
Yeah, I love.
Yeah, I wish I had that in the
fucking rest nobs.
I go to so bad joke when you
just made it.
Oh, you guys a fight.
I like it.
Spin on it.
Hair line.
Oh, thank you. Good. Hell. You compliment is that you think now you compliment
I do pretty eyes
My god, I love this say to my face great eyebrows
Fuck you you perfect mouth
I was good fucking lost weight. Yeah. Lost weight.
Fuck you, you cutie-potentiary.
Listen.
Mustache compliment your face.
Fuck off.
Hey, Mike, we...
Good job.
Good job sitting there, no redeeming.
Yeah.
So we, Lewis came over yesterday with his kid.
You know, I always have Sunday. I do pancakes Sunday with my kid.
Oh, that's fun.
He brought little Jamesy up and we went for a hike
because I live in Westchester, Westchester.
And we found these, I was like, dude, I got the zap.
And he's like, yeah, we'll do it with the kids
because it's good with the kids.
I'm not gonna do it for myself, like a lonely old man
go down a path and look for a tree.
It's one not blowing some old
Modern equivalent of like the the metal detectors on the beach. It's like the new equivalent of it
Don't act like it wasn't a good. It didn't have to be funny, but it was a true. Thank you
I know but you didn't say enough fast enough and he's just waiting to jump
I'm just I'm just you bug me
Your analog it was a great analogy. It was not. That's an old man on a beach alone.
Thank you.
Yes.
Oh, whatever.
I'm gonna fuck you there.
But, so me and Lewis, look at these, we're on this path and we're going in the woods.
Did he totally just take it?
Well, we're in the woods, but me, we both have OCD.
So the kids are like, all right, let's, we couldn't find it.
And then we finally found one.
It was fucking crazy.
What was it?
It was this, it was a container
and it had all this stuff
that it from people.
Are they all containers?
No, there's different ones.
It's like Easter ones, it's stuff with toys.
And there's all, you got to find these ones.
Wait, so where are you at your house?
No, we're on a pass.
We're, they're everywhere.
Oh, okay.
And we do one right now, see if there's something
in the city.
I'll do one right now if you want. Yeah, in the woods I picture finding those like true detective totems
They were the kids were killed. Oh, I was the naked woman of the dear aunt or yeah, yeah, you're like, oh, I shouldn't have found that
Find a dead body. Just find them with a no-bake
James finds it. I got it. That's my kids initials MDK
You're like, come on James finds it. I got it.
That's my kids initials MDK.
Dude, there's a lot around here.
Whoa.
Yeah, there's a lot around here for you.
Okay.
So here we go.
There's one.
Um, yeah, there's one.
There's one right here.
What is it?
I don't know.
I am not where.
What do you think I'm the fuck is a Oracle?
I have no idea.
It's um, it has a hint. Do you want I'm the fuck is a Oracle? I have no idea. It's
It's in this has a hint. Do you want the hint wait wait in this room after the gold cache?
A so it's a gold cache a okay, this is amber
So it's something amber the description a micro cache is the heart of Greenwich Village in the how to half a block from Washington Square Park GPS
part of Greenwich Village and then how to half a block from Washington Square Park, GPS reception might be spotty.
All right, so it might be a little spotty where it is
because it shows you where it is on your phone.
For rock and roll, aficionados and geocashers alike,
this is the third of a series of,
we gotta, she go find it after.
Yeah, do it.
You wanna go find it after?
All right, so, yeah. Yes. Yeah, do it. You wanna go find it after? Yeah. All right, so, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, there's one right here.
But this app is crazy.
But it's kind of fun to do it.
I have a kid.
So my, me and my kid are looking for these little things.
Me and Louis is up.
There was another one we were just like,
they were just hanging out.
I looked at one point, James and Max were hanging out
on this bridge with their scooters.
Just talking about life.
Look like two adult men, just talking about chicks.
And me and Lewis are like, is it in there? Look in the bush.
And we're just in these bushes, like kids, looking for this stupid fucking camouflage.
He's poison ivy, just running through.
Yeah, fucking stupid.
Anyways, this week can't wait.
This week at the, at the, the reason why I really was
into this Oculus Quest, Corey is a fucking super nerd
who owns the comedy connection.
He's got the Oculus Quest.
He brought it in and I put it on and I had,
I couldn't fucking believe this.
That no computer, no attachment, you put this headset on, you don't even
know you got it on. And you have these little things, and you set up your little perimeter
and you're wherever you are. And you can just go somewhere else. It's, I was flying
like Iron Man off this building. You step out in this thing and you hit boom
and you start to fly over.
And I'm flying up to these helicopters
and a balloon and I just felt at peace.
Like I've always wanted to fly.
Like and you're not falling over like, nope, hitting anything.
You could if you were an asshole.
No, but you build your own environment.
So they won't let you leave that.
Do you want to who wants to go first?
I'll do it.
You go first.
Okay, you go.
Ladies first.
You want to go first?
That's fun.
What are you eight?
What was that?
I would be.
That's not even eight.
That sounds like an old person.
Got him.
Like from the 60s.
Yeah, ladies first.
Got him Joey.
He would have finger gun right there. Do you want to go? Yeah, I don't know either
I took my headphones off just relax. Yeah, just chill out. Yeah, you guys are all wet. Go behind the curtain
I'm gonna set you up. Gabby's back there setting it up. I'm gonna set you up. Okay, great
But it's it's pretty fast but you have to I'm gonna set you up to walk the plank
Okay, my heart started beating fast.
I said that, I don't know why.
I can't.
There's a thing where you have to go up
and you get in the elevator
and you go up to the top of the elevator,
it opens as a wood plank and you walk out on it.
Oh my God.
It's like a city, my hands are getting hot.
Oh my God.
All right, so let's do this.
I need a microphone near me.
Or Mike, can you,
just hold it like this?
Can you, no, can you and Ian Ian like tell everybody what's going on?
Okay, yeah, oh, I get to go to the bathroom real quick. Okay, you have to go downstairs
I can't use the bathroom up here. What?
Sorry, we can we list we need Liz. Yeah, geocache it open
I'm just wanting your virtual things. Oh, baby. Don't be hurry up. We'll wait
Yeah, put on this one in your virtual page.
Go pee.
Hurry up.
Wait.
We're going to do the Oculus P.
Yeah, hurry up.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, watch out for the camera.
Where's the other way to the seller?
Yes, they locked the door.
We couldn't get into the pee room.
Oh, I think they're building another door.
Because that's like a whole lot of the place now, like another studio.
And they locked this one and they're going to build another one out here. I don't know something like that yeah that's funny.
We've got to get our fridge back. Do you where is the fridge? In there? Mother fuck so
you ready you want to do it? Well let's set it up while he's on the way here.
Dude this shit is fucking piss us. Alright. Okay. Yeah okay. Before we were doing it I drove
a blimp. You have a what? Oh, wow, what happened?
Can you still hear everything? I'm so good. It just fell off. I can hear
I almost did
So there we are
Yeah I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
You ready?
I'm going to sit there. I'm going to call us ahead of time while I'm doing this thing Ian's going to show up and he's going to fuck with me somehow. I get her in fucking to you. I want to fuck with Bobby when he was doing it, but
okay
I got I can't hear her suckers. What is she doing? She's jerking my deck off. Why is it black?
She's having a good time.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this.
I'm not sure if she's going to play this. I'm not sure if she's going to play this. I'm not sure if she's going to play this. I'm not sure if she's the porn still up. What does she do? She's jerking my dick off.
Why is it black?
She's having a good time.
She's having a great time.
I can't believe the audience.
Is it making this live with her noise?
She just got to her fucking day.
Oh.
All right.
How are we talking?
How are we talking?
You're talking.
No.
Get out of here.
Who would put your own color?
Oh, it's a nice couch over there.
Alright, we're good.
Alright, things.
Okay, back to home with the library.
Wait, the browser?
No, we're going to delete that.
So Max doesn't.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I'm going to set you up.
Put this. Okay. Oh, yeah, okay, I'm gonna set you up
Bobby setting it up for Mike
Well, I'm with you, buddy. I'm right here. I'm to art.
I'm to art.
So I'm going forward to the blow job right now.
Yeah, I was all about the blow job.
Wait, Mike, what, what, what, what, what artist was it?
You know, he punched Andrew in the face.
She was older.
She was definitely in like, P.
She was definitely like in her 40s.
That was incredible.
Andrew was as well as the punches.
He had to, but with around Bobby
But with with her with age with her age came experience. I will say that's great
We're putting the headset on feeny now
You're ready you're in for a trip buddy. So what's the scenario Bobby? I got a little bit of this.
I'm a fast one.
That way.
That's how you do it.
This asshole is what he's oh no.
Fuck off.
Are you kidding?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Wait, I'm so fucking.
Oh, dude.
That's just that's not.
No, that's true.
That's getting in there.
Hey, let me see. Ian goes down. That's not no that's true that's getting in there
Go sit down. Yeah, watch over the
Okay, wait wait wait wait wait wait okay listen
Okay, now Mike is going to be walking out you gotta do it you gotta walk out just walk out on the plate He didn't have that things on his hands
Chris get over there.
All right. I mean, I'm at the fun of you. Can't go out. You gotta go out. You gotta go out.
You gotta go out. Walk out.
You're not real. Just keep going. Just you're such a pussy. It's not real life.
He's just
You gotta do it
Not your clothing just go out one more foot. Okay, go out. Okay, just go go go such a fucking
How you out there step it's one more? I can one more foot take one more step
Are you kidding me?
You are such a push.
I feel like we're almost effort.
One more step.
I thought I'd go, just do it.
Just go. One more step.
There you go.
I'm going to put the other leg.
Can you see it, Bobby?
Go.
We just shoved him. You see it Bobby? Go. Get that in your hand! Get that in your hand! Bunko!
We just shoved him.
Oh my god.
How wide is the plank?
This is terrifying.
Get away from this or a bunch of...
I feel...
I hear God!
Oh my god!
We just put him off the plank.
Oh my god.
Holy shit!
Push comes the shove.
Feel my hands! Feel my hands! Oh my god. I have no... Bobby, I can't wait for you to do this. Like Push comes the stuff
Bobby I can't wait for you to do. Oh my god look at Bobby
So cool
Bobby Bobby looks like an injured turtle villain
I'm not a little bit more like a turtle villain. I'm telling you, you go.
Like it.
He's a lot of boss.
I don't know, I'm sweating.
Oh no, let me take a look.
I thought I could do it.
Where are my glasses or no?
No, you can't where you, all right, guess.
Bobby, where are my glasses?
Dude, that's fucking reality hand to the song.
How was it?
That was absolutely terror. Like, I thought I How was it? How was it? That was absolutely terror.
Like I thought I could do it and I know it's not real
but it's something about the sound of it.
So you're totally immersed in it.
How wide was the plan?
You're in the elevator.
It's super, it's a foot wide.
And when you step out of creeks
and then you go out and you're dropping down like 70 stories.
Haha.
I know walk out.
Yeah, because you actually fell down.
That was more than I expected
He's Ian doing it Ian's doing it. Oh Ian wait a minute buddy. Why are your hands like that cuz he's Ian
Why Ian going back in the closet?
Come on you're walking like Daffy duck. You're such a pussy. Yeah
Are you in the closet. Come on, you're walking like Daffy Duck. You're such a pussy. Yeah. Ow.
Ow.
You punched me.
Are you in the elevator still?
All right, all right, I'm on.
Oh, there's doughnuts.
Oh!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Are you falling?
Are you falling?
Oh my God. I did. That's you had fallen through that door we can use a bathroom again
Woo! Woo!
Woo!
This doesn't look real.
I know.
Oh, it's dead, dude.
That was awesome.
Dude, I was so cool, yeah.
Tell me, tell me, it's not fucking terrifying, man.
It's terrifying, right?
Oh, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's so scary.
It's so scary.
I thought I could do it, and then you get in there,
and you hear the creepywood and the wind the wind
Who'd I punch I'm sorry? Oh my god, it's fucking tariff
The Bobbinator
All right, come here. Oh me
Is this gonna be virtual reality massage from an uncle? Come here. Oh, me? Yeah, you. Oh, God. I'll get worse than that.
Is this going to be virtual reality massage from an uncle?
Oh, I'm out here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This is a virtual reality lab.
Can't see sound.
Oh, hell, yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Give me in the mic.
Oh, I just got to play.
Yeah, it's a joy.
Hold these.
I'll look like I'm playing. I'll look like. But you can play? Don't know yet. Where's the play? Give me in the mic. Oh
Holy shit
Yes, yes, it is who's in this look down
What oh my god, it looks like a legionine. Turn it off. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, I got a bigger hog in real life.
This is so weird. Can you virtual reality give her a dick?
What do you do?
You just sit here?
Well, usually jerking off by that.
Wow.
Man, that was, I'm like, I'm like,
can I make her show her butthole?
Why give me this?
I thought this was the experience.
Can she be named Rick?
Yeah, there's a butt.
Yes.
I'm watching her yell for an ass.
That was awesome.
God damn.
Come on.
Let's go.
What?
What?
I'm trying to virtual reality.
Why don't you stand up?
Stand up. A slapper with your dick in the face.
Let go of the mic.
Yeah.
Hold the mic and walk.
Keep walking.
Just walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Whoa.
Everyone's black and white.
You can see it.
I can see you.
I can see you.
I can see you.
Is that weird?
Now walk back.
Walk back into the reality.
Oh, this is so weird. If I was high right now, I'd lose my mind. You just walked through a lot. Now how do I walk back into Is that weird? Now walk back. Walk back into the reality. Oh, this is so weird.
If I was high right now, I'd lose my mind.
You just walked through a bottle.
Now how do I walk back into a blowjob?
Huh?
Right there.
Where do you push?
Oh, yeah.
Fini, you gotta see this chick's butthole.
It's amazing.
I saw it before you came up, pal.
Really?
You've never done it?
This is great.
Have you done it, Oh, this is great. Have you done it Bobby?
That was terrifying we were fucking away before you guys got here. I
Mean it is so I mean I was sweating and I'm not afraid of heights
I'd like rollercoaches and stuff and I knew I was when he was setting game with guns when he was yeah
Of course when they were to do that you got lightsaber. I want to do the beat saber game. I'll do lightsaber after Mikey
Okay, Mikey want to walk the plank? Yeah
But I want to see that like you know, I in my mind
I just I'm gonna go oh, I'm just gonna run straight off this plank jump into a swanda because it's not real
That's the sensory makes it so real sensory makes it so real dude. I still feel like I'm in it right now
I know the and the creaking of the wood in the wind. Yes
Fucking terrifying smell that but hole, huh? Yes. Oh, I wish it had real dude
I swear to God it feels like I'm still when you got when Bobby pushed you do you fucking dropped and
Screech at the top of your lungs and fell into the wall going
Yeah, it's terrifying. I was joke
I'm going, yeah, it's terrifying. That was joke.
No, it is scary, but I hope you're, you know, whenever you're ready to issue me that
apology for making fun of me for not being able to do it.
Dude, I still feel like a minute.
It's weird.
You're in?
We are in, this is the matrix.
We've been in it the whole, that's reality is out there.
That's scary.
You open?
Don't worry.
Oh, sit.
Right?
Yeah. I walk out. Okay, now my scary. Yeah, I'm going to go blurry. Oh, right. Yeah. I walk out.
Okay, now Mike's there right? Yeah. Now jump.
It's not going to be hard for you to commit suicide. You think it'll be a lot.
Yeah, he's he's oddly comfortable. He makes it. Oh my god. Mike took that so well.
What do you know what? What?
Well, what do you know what?
Oh my god Mike for those who are not watching Mike had zero reaction whatsoever He looked oddly at peace when he did it. I mean what a sociopath. It's over. It's finally over
Well, I heard him go piece
Yeah, come on, buddy I heard him go piece. Yeah. Shit. Oh, shit. That was the, I'm gonna do it.
Yeah.
Come on, Bobby.
I'm gonna try to jump off.
Don't push me.
Someone push up.
Go towards the doughnuts.
What?
What?
He's on hole 30.
You can't.
Bobby, you broke the plank.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh
Shit, oh shit. Oh shit. Oh it is creaking right how is it know you're wait
Thanks That died in every reality
That joke just walked the plank
Jump you got a jump we all hit it jump friendship. If you don't jump you're gonna get pushed.
You're gonna get pushed. Oh someone's pushing you. Someone's pushing you.
Three two one.
I
That falling is the worst wait Bobby set me up let me get in there
What did you didn't look down you gotta look down
Me set me up. Yeah, I'm scared of heights too. Hey, I
Don't like I don't like are you sweating?
Dude dude do the one where someone pushes you and you go into a wall
Yeah, that one's real crazy Bob. He just cross checked in into the wall there Yeah, wow, but my knee hit the molding
Did you I don't know. Wait, hold it. Hold it down. Hold it down. Wait, I just like jumped to the side.
Oh, fuck. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I want to watch people doing it for hours Just straight
Unbelievable
Are we still doing pumpkin?
That was awesome. That was like I'm dripping. I mean this is fuck yeah, I gotta get mostly things. I don't I don't know if you should
I only want to get that you know if you should. I'm using this one.
I only wanna get that.
You know me, you know my sense of humor.
I only wanna get that to do that plank thing to everybody.
That's all I wanted to do.
Every game on there is amazing.
Well, I wanna do the,
all right, let it put it back on.
Let them have it, put it on, go over there, grab this thing.
But you have to put the wand handles,
put your hand through the handles. Can you set them up, Chrissy? Put that on, put that on, just give it to them.
Man, no, it just is so scary. Even when you know it's fake, you just can't, you can't
bring yourself to do it. You can't. It's the sensory, it's the wind, it's the, and
the, and they, they have ones with it. Street. The street.
I just hit the main button.
The they're upside down stupid.
No, I'll own Jesus.
It's a great.
You got to put your hands through.
This is all great podcasts.
Yeah.
This is terrible.
Yeah, but it's fine.
He's not even Mike.
He's just making noise in the distance.
Oh, wow. He knew the technique. He knew the Lord of the land on that.
I've never fisted somebody's asshole. I a hundred percent admit to that.
This doesn't look like fisting. This looks like splaying. You gotta get in.
But then what?
Then what?
Then you clench.
And then what?
And then white power, you know?
But then what are you doing?
Do you stay restyped the whole time,
just going back and forth,
or do you come all the way out and penetrate each time?
No, I think you go to like, where your watch is,
and then you go to like, you know,
where you would pull up your sleeve.
No way it goes in that far. I don't know, man. I mean, fisting's weird enough. You can't go to like, you know, where you would pull up your sleeve. No way, it goes in that far.
I don't know, man.
I mean, fistings were weird enough.
You can't go a foot deep and someone, can you?
Yeah, definitely.
You can.
But I don't know.
They're a woman, so I guess usually I know.
Why are you asking us?
Yeah, we'll ask you.
You can go elbow deep in somebody.
You have gone elbow deep in somebody.
God, you have done.
But when you go,
when you go, do you pull it all the way out and repenetrate or you stay in
there and just kind of that's good thing you're not on mic for any of this because it's interesting
pop-up massage and asshole he said so you start at a little Bobby in the button where you
Bobby and Innerbets make out.
Dude, if you kiss him on the lips, I'll give you $10 right now.
Oh, he's doing it.
He's doing it.
I meant, I meant the beating.
All right.
Now you got this.
I
Sure Yeah, we'll do a podcast you in now hit the button
Damn out demo also move back
Shit my credit cards linked up to this. I you're gonna slice them
All right, there's music too.
Follow the arrow direction if it's up, go up,
if it's down, go down.
Yeah, and go with the music.
Anyways.
I mean, this looks like.
See, this is the problem with this thing.
I do want to do.
Oh, the arrow direction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
Oh, just play the game so we can have the cast.
Yeah, it's the things of the best.
I like I said, I had only played the riff before, but I'm surprised.
I'm interested to see how good the graphic are on like a beat saber thing compared to the other one.
It's so fucking crazy.
How does that's amazing?
Did Max do the plank?
He hasn't, he hasn't seen it yet.
No shit tomorrow. He can serve from school, but you can't, you can't, He hasn't, he hasn't seen it yet. No shit tomorrow. He
gets over from school. But you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. This is what every
podcast should be. By the way, us having a real conversation while Ian's playing video
games in the corner, like a divorced kid, you know, he's our chunk. Yeah, just here.
Do you take some quarters of the ground? I used to do that my family's taking it to the
ground. They say it's, it might be a bad for kids development
So you can't let them play because he might not know what reality is because
It's so fucking crazy and you can do so many things with it that he might not be able
He might think if he sees something scary in there
He might be like this. That's him. He might have that memory like it happened. Oh, yeah. That'll definitely
fuck somebody up. I mean, that would if I had played that game, the plank game, I max
his age, it would probably get instill a wild fear of heights inside of me because you're
in my carot. I think if you have it, it's good to overcome it that way. But otherwise,
you're never going to be on the plank in a building. So that's terrifying. So now anytime I was up, hi, I'd be thinking about it. way. But otherwise, you're never gonna be on the plank in a building so that's terrifying.
So now anytime I was up, hi, I'd be thinking about it.
Yeah.
But wait, was it say the ages, the minimum age?
I haven't read any of that.
Okay.
13 and up.
All for the quest, I think it's 10.
Yeah, but look at kids, kids are doing stuff
way earlier than we ever did shit.
They have phones, iPhones, they're, you know,
they're on their computers.
I mean, think of all the shit that my kid does.
He has an iPad that knows how he's better than me.
He has a computer, plays roadblocks,
and Minecraft with people on other servers.
Sure.
He's so much more advanced that 7, 6 and a half.
You know what I mean?
That it's, and the game's I'm gonna get him
a fun game for kids.
A new generation.
And how do you better delete that porn?
I know I got to delete the, I got the first thing he puts on by accident.
I got to be the browser.
I got to clear the history.
Oh, clear the cookies.
Yeah.
If I just go in the room with Max, he's been his room for four hours.
Yeah.
He said we ran out of clinics.
He's sexy.
He doesn't come yet.
You fuck it.
It is. Could you come at sex? No.
What do you mean?
No.
I think you come.
You just don't come clear.
No, you like it.
You have clear feeling, but nothing happens.
I think you should clear come.
No, you don't.
You're insane.
You don't shoot anything.
I had clear come the first time I masturbated.
But it wasn't six.
No, it wasn't six.
It wasn't six.
Yeah, it was probably right up 12, right?
You have to have puberty for stuff to come out
Well, though, but then it's I remember jerking off where it was clear and then got cloudy and then turned to white over like
Radio flu it to you miss out your prostate. That's what comes out of there. What did you say?
Perennial fluid
What do you want to just you want to stop?
No, no, it stopped doing it because I did a spin to be fancy and it stopped
Yeah, cuz you broke it
He can't just let it be even in virtual reality and gotta go
he's gotta do his own thing it's the button of the queue it's the thumb not that
one go down that right yeah that one
so anyways yeah I don't I mean I'm a little nervous about because he has video games
He has his iPad. He likes watching videos
And he has to earn it all and all that said but once I give this the world's gonna change for him
Not you're giving it to him or why don't you like let him use it for whatever it is?
It will be the families. Yeah, yeah, but you're gonna bring it on the road with you
To jerk off. Yes, of course. No. I'm so have you already
I don't know if you know have you already no no, I haven't I just got it tonight. Oh, I don't know you got it
I thought you got it when you got it
That's how many concepts though because you're having families just have a family computer now
There's gonna be like family fucking virtual reality. It's gonna be family. I mean think about that
If everybody had because there's no look at this okay. Okay, five years ago, you had to be plugged
into a massive computer that was three years ago.
Okay, three years ago.
And he had to have cameras set up in the room,
all this crazy shit, and you had to know how to use it.
I mean, you can just, he just put that on his fucking head,
and now he's playing, he has lifesavers in his hand.
I'm on a intelligent scale,
that not many have seen before.
Can you push him off that?
No.
Can we just push him?
I've got a lifesaver.
Can we also talk for a second about how comfortable
Mike was with dying?
It was distracting.
It disturbed me.
Deeper than jumping off the dude.
He did casket.
Yeah, he posed at the end.
Did you hear him sigh of relief?
I heard him sigh. I heard him sigh. Finally, I heard at the end. Did you hear him sigh of relief? I heard him finally.
I heard finally.
I heard that was us.
That was us.
I heard the notes in my back pocket.
But did you hear him say, I love you, Bobby, before he jumped off.
Is there a funny button on here?
I can.
I wish you had one.
I wish I wish all the clubs you work had one.
Hey, that's not funny. That's what your audience said. Hey, hey. I wish I wish all the clubs you work had one
Yeah, Mike why were you so
Why were you so comfortable? Diet like a water slide
You ever been on a water slide the last water slide
You were younger. No, no, no, no, no, no, one of those.
I never had that. I don't know, but air water slide. You may have told you to do that. Hold
back and put your arms. Yeah, but when you're falling to your death, it should be a little
terror. I mean, I saw two people do it fake. So I knew I was. I knew it wasn't real, but
that didn't help. Did it really? Really? I got told to jump. You thought my hands were so happy.
And when I jumped, it didn't happen right away.
So it was a little...
I jumped.
If I got pushed and it expected, that would have been totally different.
I jumped.
I jumped and I stayed on, but then I fell.
And that fucked me up, dude.
That scared me.
Because you hear the wind going...
Yeah.
Like, if I had hair.
God, maybe this could...
I could use this as a parachute.
It slowed me down a little bit.
I wonder how crazy it's gonna get in five years.
Oh, I mean, if you,
this won't be a thing.
It'll be like so thin, I bet.
I know it goes to the beat of the song.
That's the whole game.
The song, the song goes catchy.
Well, it'll probably, they'll try to make this slimmer
in like Google Glasses. Remember how they tried that? But that was a huge failure. Yeah, but try to make this slimmer in like Google Glasses.
Remember how they tried that?
That was a huge failure.
Yeah, but I mean, like this is the big Google Glasses.
Do you know who's coming up with glasses?
I think Apple's trying to come up with glasses now.
Yeah.
Now imagine buying a thousand dollar pair of glasses
that have everything in it.
And then you could just hit a button and they zone out
and you're in a virtual reality office
with all your employees.
Right.
And you're home.
But that's where the problem of blurring that matrix
like reality versus virtual reality is going to start.
Is when people start utilizing that,
I'm in my underwear at home,
but I'm really at a board meeting with all these other people.
That's how it's going to become like,
what was that movie that animated movie that won all those wars?
It's been Spielberg do it or something like that and it was like the the guy in the video game
record Ralph. Can you get around?
Put that right over here. Oh ready player one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ready player one. Yeah, that was incredible
That was essentially what this is just when virtual reality gets to that next level where you only know people inside the game
It's fucking like second life Yeah, put that right over here guys. I
Don't know if you're sweating wow jeez look at you dude. It's like a workout
They have a boxing one in there. I did it. It's like a workout. You're fighting this guy. I almost said something racist. I was so mad
I almost said something racist. I was so mad.
I was cock sucker.
Well, I'll give you one guess.
But I could take, because my character was ball of creed.
It was creed, son.
Oh, OK.
So it would be anything.
Yeah, yeah.
It's, huh?
It's pretty.
You can't say that's one of the situations you're supposed to get.
I can say it because I'm one, too.
It doesn't really work.
I guess the reality is stealing my wallet.
Oculus, if you're listening, we're very interested.
We love the product.
We love the product.
Is this and we're excited.
What do you go, mes?
I'm trying to get free.
I love from the best.
You're not going to get a free object.
We're plugging on Irish goodbye podcast.
You're in here first.
You'll have 13 people giving you a thumbs up
on YouTube.
That's just in the live stream.
But there's many, many more that download it weeks later.
I think it's, I think this is,
because when I saw it five years ago,
I was like, it's never gonna,
it's too much for the,
this, this right here is a game changer.
And now PlayStation, you know the PlayStation 5,
they're gonna have some sort,
they already have virtual reality ones
for the before, but it sucks.
This can plug into the RIF too,
so you can plug this into the RIF.
It's a great, so it can be a different one. That's the big computer one that, ones for this can. This can plug into the riff too. So you can plug this into the riff.
So it can be another one.
That's the big computer one that the Oculus makes.
And when they get rid of the hand, these hand things in this year, you're going to be able
to just put these on and push buttons and open stuff and pick things up and throw them
and.
And next year's model is not going to have hands
Call me. Oh, this one does I'm saying you're saying in the next year the next generation. You won't have these That's wild. Call me. Oh, you might be optional. My favorite virtual reality is real life
I wish you really fell off the building
We got if you just had a
It would be fun if while you were falling you did the slide whistle
It would be fun if while you were falling you did the slide whistle
You should do that after every joke
Yeah, it's gonna be I mean this
Do how about walking out of the room? Did you see that? Yeah, you what you didn't see that When everyone goes gray air you walk out and it's all black and white
But you can see us all just sitting here looking at you
Yeah, and then you step back into the virtual reality and it's all black and white but you can see it's all just sitting here looking at you And then you step back into the virtual reality and it's another world
It's like walk for Christmas. You gonna get this?
I'm gonna ask if you get it we could play it together. That's crazy
But are all the games like just like how pong was on the Atari just like really basic and boring or they like do this a game
I just play a lightsaber game. Yeah, it was it. No, no, but it was very like rudimentary.
It wasn't like does a game.
I was playing world or anything.
There was a game I was playing where I'm a robot
and the robot just you're sitting there
and all of a sudden on the TV,
this thing happens with the robot.
Someone took over the robots and I'm a guy.
And then all of a sudden all the robots around me
like what's happening?
And then somebody put a plug in the robot virus
and then all the robots go, and they turn to me
and they like, they come after you.
And then you have it here?
No, I didn't get it yet.
And then you have to like, you all of a sudden you go,
you grab your guns, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
and you throw in guns, grabbing guns, getting a shock,
you're grabbing a robot as he jumps
and you rip them apart and throwing them at another robot.
It's gonna get nuts.
And when you're gonna be able to just use your hands,
when you don't have to hit,
because you have to hit this button and that button to grab now,
when you just grab a robot and rip them and throw them
and grab guns and-
The barrier to entry will be so low that everyone would get one.
What did you just use?
The barrier of entry?
Do you know that I don't want to hear that?
What does it mean?
Well, it's the same thing like we talked about
with the Oculus Rift, the start-up cost.
What does it mean?
It's the start-up cost in the barrier to entry.
It's so great because of the financial burn
it puts on the average hassle that can't afford to do it.
Oh, yeah.
It's like expensive.
Wow, we figured it out.
Well, I didn't know we had to talk everything and dumb, you know, simple, tin language
But I can dumb it down if you guys choose it though. Yeah, please do that dumb it down. Yeah, dumb it down dummy
So you have a basic economy, right? And then it's trickle down
And then you know you pro-write that and you tell us what you tell us what both your parents thought you did it still together
Tell us about your happy family. They're not together. Your parents are right relax. They're not together. They're not together
They have a virgin rady hog
Really all game. Yeah, he feels just like a father
Well, what if you what if what if they did create a game? I remember when I played soldier of, uh, soldier of fortune on something, the one of the first games before mod, all the,
mod, this is way back on the computer. Metal of honor. Before it. So,
it's a fortune. It was way before any of the games. Me and Dan used to play them all the time.
We had a clan, we did all the ship. Very rudimentary, but it was great. You could throw grenades
and stuff.
But I remember I was in a room,
and I talked about this before, and this girl was on,
and you could talk like this.
So you could go in and she'd be like,
hey, what's up guys?
And I'm Kathy, and you're like,
hey, Kathy, I'm gonna go around the back,
and she'd be like, oh, I'll come with you.
And it was, yes, it was a soldier guy,
but it was a sexy girl talking,
and we would go around the back through the woods
to kill these guys.
And then I was on this crate, like looking out a window
and all of a sudden she goes, hey, check this out.
And she goes, you like when I suck you dick?
And her character, which was a guy,
was just going back and forth.
She's like, you like that?
And I was like, and I got hard.
I don't know what.
I do it, I would do it.
I would do the way around.
It was this girl.
And I was the guy, but it didn't have to be a girl.
Now, imagine if that was a girl,
if the Sims, if you could sit on your couch
and be wherever you wanted to be,
and have somebody come over that's somewhere else alone,
and you could be thin, you could be blonde,
you could have big tits,
and the characters become as real as people do.
And, yeah, but that's just escapism.
Everyone's gonna become fat, lazy,
dumb, and they're just going to. I'm my Marty. I'm fucking most of those right now. I know. We're
looking at the future right now. It's fucking bleak. Handsome. You can't take my. I can't
make people more. You can't take my joke and make it real. I mean what the fuck I said it so you guys wouldn't you
You just read it was yourself to
self-defense and then you hurt me before you can hurt me my mama talking about that. Oh, you want some water?
I don't know you have that body bouches mom. Yeah
I'm a doula I'm god. I think it's gonna be I'm nervous. I'm nervous with my I'm afraid to give this to my kid. It's scary. And I know I'm going to get fucking emo too. Don't give it to you.
Get let him play. I look I take my kid for hikes. We go outside. We do a lot of things. And I but I do let him play video games. I let him play Minecraft. And I will not let him play fucked up games on this.
I guarantee he will not, he'll play little's Minecraft on this.
You can, there's Minecraft on this.
But you pick up, you literally hit the block with your hand.
Do you think that this is a subtle way
to train people, to use guns
and then use mine control later to turn us against each other?
To kill ourselves and each other.
Could I say something though?
This is the weird thing is that they say that kids, there is a form of mind control in this because when their brains are so young,
you can tell them these things and you can show them these scary situations in these games and they think it's real.
And they bring that, yeah, they store it.
That's the dangerous part.
So I can't let my kid play a scary game.
I can let my kid play kid stuff.
But you're a good father.
Think about all the shit parents out there.
Yeah, but it's gonna be disastrous for society.
I don't know.
I think it might be great, but it might be bad.
Bad.
I don't know.
Not gonna be good. I don't know. I think it's... great, but it might be bad. Bad. I don't know. Not gonna be good.
I don't know.
I think it's...
I'd like to see.
I mean, you can...
I'm gonna get him the drawing app.
So he can sit there and just in the air, just paint.
Why not get a fuck day long?
He's on a pen.
I have one of those, too.
So then why is he gonna fake it?
Because it's not art.
It's a form of art.
You're acting like painting in the air
or digitally painting is not art.
That's a new form of art.
Illustration, it's called.
So is it, but will this virtual reality painting
be able to be translated over to where you can take that
and like send it to someone.
You can save it in there and send it to somebody, yes.
And they can view it.
So the people can actually become like graphic artists through virtual reality
I believe you can save the painting or the whatever you made and send it to somebody or
You can go back in and see it
So my son could go in there and do whatever he wants. I mean whatever brush. I mean 3d
Whatever I mean, it's just crazy and just paints and do things in whatever the fuck you want.
And then save it.
And say, Dad, come in here and check this out.
And I can put it on and go and look and be like, wow.
He holds his art.
I mean, so it is an art form.
You can't say, it's like drawing on an iPad 10 years ago.
Or whatever they fuck they came up.
People like, that's, it's art.
People, I know people draw on
Ipad's not know them personally, but on on YouTube
It's um, it's like paint. Oh Mateo for one. Yeah, it's paint. Yes, this is I do I major merch like that what I major merch like that
Well, I'm speaking my merch. Can we get some new shirts? Yeah, sir. What do you want some doom designs? Yeah?
He's a great. He's great designer. He is.
It's true.
I mean, I used that.
When I took, did you know what I took
desktop publishing back in the college,
you oughta use the mouse to draw.
Imagine that.
Imagine drawing.
How good they came,
artists drawing with a mouse
when it first came out.
Like fine, how good did people become making six second movies?
Vine was pure. It was. It was absolutely. It was one of the most beautiful social media apps
I've ever seen. You're not in the North end. I call it Follini. It was a one of the most
things. Vine was six. It was so great. What they did, it was so great. What they did because they
leveled the playing fields like everybody could only use the same camera
which was the camera installed on the app
and each frame touched it.
So everybody at a level playing field,
the barrier to entry was not very high.
And then it was Bernie Sanders motherfucker over here.
They had a reminder.
And so a socialist.
But then Instagram, we all start on the same level.
You don't think that it tools,
but you steamroll over him.
And I had kind of like it.
Go for it.
Steamroll.
I'll get up no matter what.
You see me take that fall earlier?
I didn't mean to, did I push it too hard?
Yes.
What are you all right?
No.
Well, seriously, I wanted apology.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah. I am hurt. What happened to you? My for nothing. Yeah. Take it out. I am hurt.
What happened to you?
My knee hurt.
What's wrong with your knee?
And my trust is lowered.
My trust is damaged.
Should I let you watch the porn image?
That doesn't make up for my fucking broken,
your knee's not broken.
Oculus, or whatever's in your knee.
What's it, what's wrong with your knee?
My, my meniscus.
It's not.
It's not.
It is.
Are you really hurt? You can have to leave the podcast if you hurt
Cardinal just we're gonna have to send you downstairs
Cardinal it just you're gonna have to go to the doctors
Do you want to go to I'm gonna have to get your name?
You okay? No, how about a way are you alright? Yes, you're okay. Yes. Okay. We get that remarked
That's it's staying said that it's staying cut that out. Yeah
You're cashy with dog. He actually seems like the guy that would try to get you
for money.
Like all of a sudden.
Like a slip of volga.
Yeah, you're imagining a slip of volga.
Like all of a sudden I see him tomorrow and he's got like
a neck thing.
Yeah, that's great.
And he's got a gang.
Bobby!
There's no way I could possibly feel better except for
maybe $1,500.
I'm not showing you.
I'm showing no.
Yeah.
Yeah. My knee would feel better, I'm showing no. Yeah. Yeah.
If my knee would feel better if I had an Oculus.
Yeah.
I'd give my kids Oculus.
I would fucking rather kill you.
Ah.
You almost did with that push.
Wait.
He's stretching it, man.
Look at his knee.
What's wrong with it?
Imagine it was just cut open.
Look.
Yeah, there's a really bad tattoo on it.
I'm gonna hold it. I'm gonna hold it.
After a body push.
Look at all the blood.
Yeah, it's your big blood.
Let me see, let me see.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Oh, there is real blood though.
Yeah, there actually is.
Yeah.
Let me see.
Boom.
Let me see where?
Right there.
That's tattoo.
No, it's not.
It's Michael.
I submit to the jury.
Could you imagine like meeting him somewhere and
meet him somewhere and then he gets naked and he has tattoos in his knees.
Yeah, I'm dying. She's gonna. He's gonna murder me.
Chicks love it. Chicks love it. Chicks love it. Yeah.
What about the two? Why you like black dude, right? Yeah.
It was these last black eye fucked. Yep.
I guess I would. I guess I would actually was. a greatest. I've never been asked that in my life
I've also never been more interested in something Ian's
Supposed to be that I guess that was great. Third thing my wife said to me when I met her
Why all right?
What the fuck is it real? Is he the champ? Wow. Is that a real, that's Halloween.
Oh wait, no, you can't show his picture on the thing.
He didn't.
You did.
Oh, what is it?
Oh, what?
Did you see it?
No, we didn't see it.
You can't see him anyways.
You see the belt.
You can see his teeth.
What's a black belt with a black belt?
What?
What's wrong with you?
What about Mondex?
What?
Just because you fuck up doesn't mean, or do you fuck you got to get for you don't get fucked never
Well, I mean
I'm gonna be talking here. I'm gonna go fun guy. I know good fun guy
What the fuck is it all good fun guy?
Good boy are you a good old boys that's a good guy. A good old boy. A good old boy is different than all good fun guys.
A fun guy.
It seems like it's like a Japanese game show.
I am all a good fun guy.
Hey, oh, a mushroom, a fun guy.
Yeah, you a sloppy bottom nom, and all good fun guys.
What does that mean?
I do it all.
Oh, shit, dude.
So you know, you know, take it to the bum bum.
Once in a while. What, you go crazy once in a while. Once every lunch, so. Sometimes you know, you know take it to the bum bum once in a while what you go crazy once in a while
Once every time you have to let people. Yes
Do you ever have you ever added where you know you go in them and then they're like you know what now
It's my turn and you go no, I don't think so no I don't pull name you wine house and say no no no
It's the only works it works. I wish I thought way to work. It's the only way to work.
I wish I thought of it.
I want to point out.
I was the one that pointed that thing out for you to use on you up.
It was just on that desk.
Oh, on the radio.
And since become a beautiful part of the identity.
I love it.
I'm always evolving.
Yeah, we're an artist.
The portrait of an artist. I was guzzly evolving. All right, we're gonna wrap this up, guys. This has been a fun episode.
My heartbeat is final.
My hands have stopped sweating just now.
It was pretty crazy, right?
I hated it.
I can't believe.
I don't even know what I scared me.
I don't know what I did.
I feel embarrassed.
I don't know what I did what I fell off the building.
You covered your head as if you were crashing in an airplane.
I want to do it.
You look like one of those experiments
where you drop an egg from a high place.
You know.
You can have the microphone there.
You can't even jump down.
Yeah, what do you do with that?
What do you finger bang chicks with that?
I'm put in my ass.
No, you don't.
It's fart.
Woo-woo.
That's when you know you come.
Yeah.
Stick it in your mouth.
Like one of those turkey little look at the face.
You can't get a turkey stud.
Anyway, guys, all right, listen, it's been a great podcast.
You guys are fucking great.
I'm glad you guys did that.
That was fun.
That was a shit.
Patreon people, I hope you enjoyed tonight's episode.
Thanks for tuning in live for you did.
If you guys are part of Patreon,
and you're watching this on Thursday,
know that you can tune in live.
They don't have to wait.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
They don't have to wait till Thursday.
Okay, there's something in your mouth.
Yeah, horrible.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I don't want to fuck with you,
because you could have suicide tonight.
I don't fuck you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, wait till Thursday before they had to wait till Thursday at night.
It's up tonight for you guys.
So you guys are watching it this week.
If you want to watch live, you can, you're the only ones who can.
If you're not and you're a big fan, become a member of patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.
Just join up whatever tier you want and however you want to support and every, we put so
much shit up there.
I would pay money to see here you mispronounce those names again.
That was incredible.
There was amazing.
That was really good.
That was my thing.
Yeah, at least.
But there you go.
And robacadolive.com creeps with kids,
Detroit Saturday night.
And then I'm at Saratoga Springs at the comedy works
in New York. Go to robacadolive.com, creeps with kids.com, uh... and then i'm at uh... sarah toga sprens at the comedy works in new york
uh... go to robbercat alive dot com
creeps the kids dot com get your tickets
the tour starts
this saturday
grammer's theater creeps with kids more or t
well almost all that well yet
sick
it on it new york
new york new jersey get on those tickets
uh... alright what do you think
uh... eon fight against dot com for all my dates. I'm in town for a while and then I'm gonna be at a left Boston for my comedy club.
Woo-ha-ha in Worcester
Wisecracker is in Wilkesbury and American comedy
company
Do not gonna run us coming up. Well, you know, Ian fightM. Finance, I got a thing. I animal for Instagram, I put up fun videos.
No, and I found a better way to do what?
Just tell the cities you're gonna be.
Yes, at no date.
No dates.
Say, I'm Detroit, I'm in Saratoga Springs,
and then you go to Robert Kelly.
I'm in Boston, I'm in Vermont, I'm in New Hampshire,
San Diego, and Wilkesbury coming up, be in 5Dance.com.
I love you, bye.
Love you too, but a good to see you.
Good to be here, man.
Thank you.
Is Janie okay?
No.
No, seriously.
You all right?
It'll be okay after some therapy.
No, sir.
He scares me.
He scares me.
He's going to get you.
I will cut it all out of the fucking show.
Every nugget of it, like you weren't here.
I already posted pictures.
No, you didn't.
Time stamped.
Yeah, everything.
Oh, sorry.
I haven't even heard me.
Hey, we're all eating here.
When you had to head sit on it.
Yeah, we were revamping everything like you wanted.
Yeah, we cut you hot.
No, the knee's fine, right?
I'm totally fine.
All right.
All right.
What do you got?
Like VinnieComedy.com, I'm gonna be at Uncle Vinnie's.
There'll be a comics where you can send a St. Paul Minnesota
Troy New York, Skankfest.
And yeah, I have my album, Raging Against the Routine,
which is available now.
You can get it Mike Finney.com and wherever you listen
to music or comedy and then at I Am Mike Finney on social media.
Make sure you're requested on the series, satellite radio.
Yeah, that would be great.
And if you see it on Pandora, give it a thumbs up
one of those things and...
Funny, funny, funny channel.
On my YouTube channel,
MikeYouTube.com slash MikeFenicomini,
I putin' up a bunch of videos from the album,
the videos of it, so.
Great fucking album.
Unfuckable, great album.
I love how rich Voss doesn't know
that when you stream an album, you still get money.
Like people who are telling,
I was streaming your album on an apple and Spotify was like, you're stealing money from me, they're not, you still get money. Like people were telling, I was streaming your album on an Apple
and Spotify was like,
you're stealing money from me.
No, they're not.
You still get money from that.
Yeah, it just takes a lot more streams to get it,
to get money.
The money you would get if it was somebody bought it.
They want you to go to serious.
Yeah.
And then request that shit.
Mm-hmm.
What do you got, Chrissy?
Not that cheney.com, C-E-N-E-Y.
I'm gonna be in Vegas this week this week and then
Orleans the week and after for comedy shit and some other shit. Why would you say that to somebody?
Why I mean literally why would you just assume what assume I did like doing what shows
No, you said you said
First of all, I don't like you.
I people who fucking do fucked up shit, I don't mind them.
The ones I don't like is the ones that don't admit it.
You got caught.
Yeah, what?
Just say I fucked up.
I fucked up.
Not to me to him.
I fucked up.
I forgot to mention Irish goodbye podcast.
I also have a sneaker podcast.
And yeah, I made Bobby's birch.
You can get it at remember to be happy.com slash YKWD.
Yeah.
Aren't you make six flyers too?
Thank you, man.
Appreciate that.
Why don't you make me a fucking flyer?
I'll make it whatever you want, buddy.
Did you should make a creeps flyer?
Yeah, I want you make a creeps kid flyer.
I helped with it.
Yeah, no, but make one for this weekend.
Oh, yeah, sure.
I mean, grammar see one.
I'll make whatever you want. Yeah, I want a couple of them. All right Oh, yeah, sure. All right, I mean, Grammarcy one. I mean, whatever you want.
Yeah, make I want a couple of them. All right. There it is.
We can hang out at Grammarcy.
Um, yes.
One of you can't. I'm going to throw, I'm going to get a poolstick
break it in half. Whoever wins.
Keep calm. Well, I've been practicing with the lights,
everything. I'm good. Give me a movie's that from
The pool cues the two sides of a pool cue. Yeah
Man, remember when the joke is snapped to jing oh, yeah room for one of you
Yeah, nice talking. Yeah, I love that. I was happy. Yeah, of course you did. You remember it so well
Make sure you follow the podcast at ykwKW dude. What do you got Instagram?
Sorry.
X the possible.
Mike's really getting good at stuff.
I just have to listen now.
Or Mike.
I was thinking of the host air.
Follow.
Thank you. Follow me at Mike Beeswores.
And of the month, I'll be at Bridgeport with Chris Eiffon on the 24th
and Atlantic City on the 25th at the end of, uh,
February, I'll be at Gotham with Janice,
Popus and Uncle Vinnie's weekend after that with him.
Yeah, when are you gonna get on some of my shows?
Whenever you like me, dude,
well, you gotta tell me I can't just fucking,
I'm not your manager.
Well, you've been doing creeps.
That's why you're a creep.
I wish I was.
I don't have kids yet. Uh, you've been doing creeps. That's why. You're a creep. I wish I wasn't.
I don't have kids yet.
Did you keep killing yourself with my podcast tonight?
We have to talk.
That is.
Great.
I was one of the most uncomfortable things I've seen.
It was the, I feel culpable.
I mean, who are you guys watching?
That was with these words.
That was a test run.
Culpable?
Yeah.
What a fiduciary entry.
That was nice. Thank you. We had it half right. A fiduciary entry. That was nice. Thank you. Yeah,
it had right. A fiduciary reserve barrier of entry. Yeah, I said, I wait less fancy
word than fiduciary. Yeah, your fiduciary. What does that mean? He just a douche.
Was it a fairy? Yeah.
All right, listen, you guys are the best fans. Zach, what do you got?
Zach the new guy. All right, listen, you guys are the best fans. Zach, what do you got? Zach, the new guy.
All right.
I love his fish.
YKWD best fans in the world would love you.
Know what, dude?
Next week. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
you