Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bear Without Hair

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Yankee pitching great David Wells comes on the pod and he brings the heat just like his days on the mound! He talks owning Babe Ruth’s hat, betting Calta on his bachelor party, and what it’s like returning to New York when you’re playing for Boston! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma Network, riotcast.com. Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what, dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW I started the social media podcast. YKW

YKW Back again Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up!

You ruining this! I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an fun and crazy and there's no rules. Shut up, you ruining this! For the more damn I'm sorry, it's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original. I'm you, me. Welcome to my KWD. That's me that guy who makes the most money right now has the worst background.

Yeah. Carboliting. I keep it real. Calta. I keep it real. 100%. I'm a musician. I'm a pop star.

Father's me that guy who makes the most money right now has the worst background. Yeah. Carboliting. I keep it real. Calta. I keep it real. 100%. You bothers me that that makes the most money right now has the worst background. Yeah. Carboliding. I keep it real, Calton. I keep it real 100%.

Sorry. I don't have. I don't have Bobby's coming out of surgery lighting. You know, he's in Bobby's. Around him. Why do you have to trash me? I have to take it out. I didn't fucking do anything.

You know why, Bobby? Because yours is the best looking. And so I felt like I needed to go after yours. I Spend all day and made it look this way. I look fan fucking tastic Mike looks like he's in a storage unit You look like you're fucking at an oil rig field on a break in between rough neck and you guys we hit some Texas T around 2 p.m Real proud of my background until George Rosa made me feel like I was on American pickers That's so I got this Pearl Jam poster. It's pretty good. I could probably give you $300 for me. That's not weird. I think 12. Me and the Rosen was just like, dude, he's got, he's got platinum records. Yeah, but we're like, you did nothing together. Yeah.

That is not true. Suarez looks like he's doing the Kevin McAllister pretending people are home when they're not thing. Where he goes, no. What does Gabby look like? Just reeks of wealth. Gabby't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I's the boy. Let that, let that Moppy Frogo. Oh, he whips it. He whips it around. And then my girlfriend and I had an interesting conversation of if you could eliminate one band in all of their influence they had on music, which band and I picked on Joffi. That's a direct attack on me. Because to be perfectly honest, I don't give a shit. I've never. What do you like? What do you listen to? I mean, my favorite bands, Queens of the Stone Age, but you know, I grew up on like Metallica, Guns and Roses.

I mean, listen, I, I will not say I have the best taste of music. I'm saying for this game, which I think we should all go around and say the band so that I'm not the fucking bad guy here. Great. I never really was like, Bon Jovi, I was young enough that they weren't, they weren't cool when I was getting older. Like they were like cool when I was young, when I was really young. Like that was like the band my babysitter wanted to go see.

That's it has a babysitter energy. They whipped it around and they became cool years later. Two listen, we had the guy from, you know, we had the guy from the, from the metal band on. What was the, what's the band? Obituary, one of those bands. Yeah. Oh, no. Obituary.

Obituary. Obituary. What was the band called to nothing. Testament. Testament. And those guys were like, when nobody's looking wrong, the car going, wow, what the hell are they? they fucking love it too. Listen, I'm sure there's people that I adore that fucking think Bon Jovi is in the Mount

Rushmore. I'm saying, to me, listen, I don't like it either, but I don't say it on a podcast, you know, you just, you know, that's fucking nuts. It's fine. He should stop. He should stop giving you money. Yeah, that gold. Well, don't say that. You're gonna have to pawn that shit for face masks.

And I disagree with you so much. I think Bon Jovi is has, you know, listen, man, don't bore us. Get to the course. I mean, they're fucking songs are the shit. I mean, they got so many are the shit. I mean, they got so many of them over the years that you're in the car and it comes on. Shots to the heart, living on the prey. I'm a cowboy. I'm a mashup. I mean, dude, it's a baby.

Run away. I love Bob. I love Bob. He's owed the bungeo. VV. I love Glee, Bobby. Hey, Bobby, every time that happens in the car. I turn the song I had to lie when you're alone. You're singing it. You know, there are there listen, there are some Bon Jovi. There are some Bon Jovi songs that thump. I'm not gonna lie. They do like what name one name one I'm a cowboy. Is that him? one. Uh, I'm a cowboy. Is that him? I'm wrong. Next. Listen, I'm in a band.

Nothing gets to crowd detention, like until we play a bond, you'll be song the place was fucking that's now. Greg get all the fans and all the women are in their 50s. 40 year old tips everywhere. Actually, Gabby, it's, it's 10 year old tits, uh, on 40 year old woman, you got to do the math right? That's it. I'm sorry. You got to do your Tampa tit math.

Would you? They don't have they all have chest cancer from not wearing fucking. Oh, yeah, dude. Not wearing sunblocked their whole lives. Nothing like some Florida sprinkles on those big round fake tits. No, that's one of my fucking things is those little fucking sun freckles on the chest. Oh, that that's soon to be cancer. Oh, I think it's sexy and I know you're not gonna be around for a while So I'm gonna be single again soon

Those are like those fish that if you eat the wrong part you die I don't know what band. I think Jesus I would have to I don't know man. I don't know what band I would say That we doesn't doesn't deserve like just eliminate them. By the way when you when you eliminate them all right Let's eliminate the people they influenced heavily All right, you ready? I'm done ready fish. You go ready. Fish. Well, look it. Fish is great.

By the way, Gabby, great call. Everything is playing a vacuum on stage. All right, then I'm going to do this. If that's what she's going, I'm going to say, I'm going to, you don't have to use that, Gabby. I'll use mine and you also be eliminated. I mean, Gabby, you also be eliminated for my pick. Grateful dead fish never exists. There you go. Thank you. I was between the two. Grateful dead fish never exists. There you go.

Thank you. I was between the two. See if it see if that upsets me at all. Bay Area band, my family's in the I don't give a fuck. But here's what doesn't set me upset me is that Ben and Jerry's probably wouldn't exist too. And that breaks my heart. Well, it's probably be called Ben and Larry's.

That'll set it apart. No, but you know what? That actually, Bobby, you're right because I think cherry Garcia is what put him over the top and put him in all those major stores Yeah, the hippies and they love that shit. They love vans and colors and shit Yeah, yeah Call to call to who you eliminate Cheryl Crow Great And all the guns that came after great choice.

Great. It was Meredith Baxter, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry. Oh, I mean, you were basically eliminating the entire genre of I'm on my own rock. Right. Which I'm on my own again. Away from all my friends. I'm on my own again.

Look at you. To the star. I want girls being gold to be the suck bun joe. He's dick not to be on their own. Sorry, but but round one we eliminated all that. Yeah, bun joe doesn't exist. We took out the New Jersey trash. Oh, wow. I'm just going full heel on this trash. Oh, wow.

I'm just going full heel on this episode. Oh my god, I'm pressing charges. Lewis is here. I'm here to be heel. Swaris, who would you get rid of? Rush. I got a problem with that. That's bad.

That's not that. So that every D&D rock band after that never exists. Get out of here. You're out. Rush anybody that sings about. Just five. Three. You know what. Anybody that sings about the fight. I love to hear the wings of a dragon bring the day of a new light. I love that. I love any song that's like, as the God

in scroll. The stone is ten. That's that. The tempest of the night. Keep saying, coming through my window. I say hello to her and she waves the pie. That's my shit. Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom I look into the sky I see a media again Any songs it sounds like horses big getting tired. I don't want You know what fucking swore as you're the only one of the group that I adamantly disagree with

I love Neil Pert but yeah, I got to agree that fucking that Dungeon Jindrags and rock okay, okay Hypothetically eliminate rush and then welcome school shootings to the 80s Incredust early Columbine happens around 88 in Reagan don't fucking pump the brakes. I don't know. More parking for us. Which worse, the songs about D&D or the Iron Maiden songs about the Indians? Yeah, dude. Iron Maiden is one of the groups that they influence too many people I like, but they were on. They were bouncing around the old way the way the way the Queen's the Stone Age got a little bondo we thumb to them Nice try No, no, no nice

I can feel your fucking your judo you're trying to get me to trip over my own momentum Yeah, get him Calta fucking get him That I gonna have you seen Queen's the Stone Age fans. They are not a good looking group. Yeah. I do every fans are hot old people. Queens of the Stone Age people are like, can I bum a smoke from you on my break people, which is why I love them. Do the best as they played here one time and a guy jumped on the stage and danced to them

and he walked over and kicked them right into the fucking crowd. Calta, Calta, I had been trying to tell people about this YouTube clip. That was one of the first YouTube clips I was obsessed with. That was a how it was at House of Blues, right? Oh, that might have been Orlando. Yeah, it was. It was House of Blues Orlando. Yeah.

And the guy Josh Hommie walks away from the stage to light a cigarette. And this guy who looks like a finance bro gets on stage in front of the microphone. It goes like this. Josh Hommie has his guitar. It's the most cool. I wish we could find the video. He slings around too. They pulled it. I think it's a stone age pulled the video. I'm saying, I'm saying, Suarez can look for it all he wants. I don't think he's going to find it. You see, like in videos of aliens and shit, they can find it. Yeah, but when you assault the man, I just, I just said that. But Josh

Hami assaulted a man. I don't think he wants that. He did. He encroached in this area though. So he I don't think he'd get in trouble for it. But the yeah, he fucking takes his guitar, whips it around his back. The guy's like dancing in front of the stage and full 300 kicks him into the back,

into the audience and then just grabs the microphone and goes, this is my fucking stage. And I was like, that is awesome. I did that at the Denver comedy works. Really? Yeah, a pregnant woman. All right. I go, Bobby, you just took that from very rock and roll to like, dude, do we have to follow protective services body. And that baby's not mine anymore. Yeah. Robert, it's yours. The timing times out.

Tourism was here six months ago. I kicked right in the stomach and it pulled out like a sangria. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I just got a text from Noam. My kids playing his kids in Minecraft, and he text me, tell Max to stop killing people.

That's so fun. And I texted him back. I go, I texted back. I go, okay, Fag. Yeah. Dude, do you? What the fuck? Who, it's a, why would you not let the kids kill each other?

Who cares? Yeah, also, it's a, why would you not let the kids kill each other? Who cares? Yeah, also it's weird that Nome's the parent of the kid that's like, that's not how you play. I have to pay. And Max is like, I got something for you. Fuck the mother of God. I got you. I'm gonna blow up your house.

I was thought those kids whose parents told my mom on me. I was like, you're headed for a life of dorkness. Now that I'm a parent though, it comes a certain amount of guilt when you know some information, you feel like I should tell the parent about that. Oh yeah, dude, that's probably great. I hear it. But like, listen, when your kids are playing and you know what I mean? And you're monitoring that much where you're like, I'm gonna touch them. It's like, just let them play. Yeah, let them play the game, let them play.

And let them kill him back or not play. However, when I was a kid and we played CYO basketball and I was 10 years old, that's fourth grade. What's CYO basketball? Is it like basketball for heavier kids? No, it's not. It's Catholic. Oh, sorry.

I love Jesus, You jerk off. Sorry. Sorry. And my coach was probably about 19-20. It was freebase and cocaine where we're out there. And I was like, I feel like I should write him out. No, the kids wanted to be a rat. So we just had a coach who would do cougar. You would be a rat. Why the wait? What a motivator that guy probably was. a run you got a run You got to stand right now. We're all running from something Yeah, I speak of the running I think those cops are stopping because I stricken electricity box of all of the I need you to run and I need you to take that VF VW apart right now also take that apart feel free to

Some of your mom's jewelry to practice Let me see some of the be some of your mom's jewelry to practice. You know, let me see some of the earrings, some of the bracelets you guys got. I feel like really fucking you guys ready to play Falcons. I heard they've been listening to my phone conversations. I feel like they're outside my house. Danny boy, so tell me about I haven't watched an episode of billions. I haven't watched it. I'll tell you why before you get crazy. I want to save it up. I want to watch it, I want to watch it all together because when I've been watching every season every week and I get fucking, I can't do it anymore.

I don't have it in me to wait. So I need to be able to, I need to be able to juice up on in a couple episodes. And then, you know what I mean? Like I can't watch one and then wait a whole fucking week. You know, it's crazy. We didn't get to film the back half. So it's only the first seven episodes of the 12 episodes series. I mean, you know, episodes in a season and we, yeah, they shut us down after episode seven. Are you gonna, are you gonna do what fucking danger forest did on Nickelodeon and filming episode from home? If they do that, no, they're not that dumb.

They're not that dumb to, to blow it like that. I'm wondering, I'm wondering if they're going to incorporate quarantine in the final five episodes, you know, like with like the real billions diologues, like, you've got me like a mask on a cloudy COVID day. And he's like, I thought you would say that, well, I'm the, I'm the medicine you need. You know what I mean? Like I wonder if they, the last season goes like this, he's like, I got you. Now you don't got me. I do now, he walks out. I was just a bloop because I sold woohand short. I released the first bad chick.

I am the cop done now. Is that not what they could use? Yeah, they I think they're I think every TV show is going to have to reference fucking quarantine now. Well, none of it's a vampire show. True. True. Right. On space, the future, anything in the future, they don't have to reference it. You make it's or or historic piece. Goddamn it Bob. You just poke a hole in this. Or any sitcom on TV that doesn't know the reality. Are you kidding me man? sitcoms will be fucking stretching for COVID Joe.

They actually, they did a show, Max's show, Danger Force, which is a kid show. They did the whole episode on like Zoom. Oh, and I told, I told, they just did this. So they had their lines and they just they probably did their lines together So they all had their phones. They did it on headsets and shit like you know ear pods They did the whole episode. They just acted their scenes right in here and the guy added it together added a soundbed Put at its end cut it blah blah and I told I want to write

With Fini I was, we should write a mystery like a mystery drama on Zoom where we all come into a Zoom for a podcast but people slowly start getting killed like and but you film you film we film the other part of it like you would be like hang on one set what I'm gonna go with the Christie yes of different characters I'm gonna go with the Christie. Yes. There's been characters. Hello. Can I always be the count?

I always in your episodes, or they're like, oh, look who's here. That's the count. And I go, there's better than mad. I'm the Japanese chef. Yeah, I'm always it it's I'm the I'm the Japanese chef. Oh, yeah, yeah, let's get your monotone. If you're a monotone, I'm dirty. So you don't know what are you eating, Gabby? Cough drop. Oh, do you have COVID? No. Why are you going gonna cough drop? Got a little cough. Why are you coughing? What are you coughing? What are you? Call allergy cough. Why do you get out how much how much you coughing?

Little just occasionally. Can you take that baby me cough? Look at body with a cigar dude. Yeah, no You look like a full fucking Boston bookie today, huh bud? Clarksackle is you get fucking you're gonna fucking half the past. You fucking shot the dogs. I fucking eat. That's how it works. Yeah, I don't know where they're gonna film the answer question.

I honestly don't. So I should probably not fucking wait and what I should probably slow roll this. I would slow roll it. Now, how is this compare rate the season out of all the seasons? What is it? I mean the end of the season was supposed to be like the biggest holy fuck moment of the whole show. So I don't know how they're building to it. Oftentimes I'm honestly too dumb for the riding on billions. I'll read the scripts and I'll be like, oh, that's pretty cool. And then at the end of the season, they're like, you know, they set that up in episode eight. I'm like, I didn't know that.

That's so cool. They do that. Yeah. So cool. They do that. Yeah. Dude, I'm an idiot. I've never acted like I'm not.

And that shows very smart. So I'm just like, we never thought you weren't too. Yeah, but then like people act just because you're on a smart show. If you stay next to a smart person, they think you're smart sometimes. And you're right. I'm a fucking full-fledged idiot. Luckily, I've never done that.

Yeah. Well, you know me from back when I was making a table side guacamole. Well, that's funny because when I had I did an episode of live Gabby remember that we had Brian on And he for it was live from the pussycat Mm-hmm instead of live from the shed we changed it to the pussycat lounge in the winter because it was too cold We had Brian on but Brian showed up and he didn't he, I don't know what he thought he was coming to my podcast. He was going to shut up and he shot cameras. He's like, I can't fuck. What am I, what is this shit? And I'm like, it's my, he's

like, yeah, I can't, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, yeah, you know, whatever, whatever we worked it out, we want him sitting down. Who is it? Brian Copeland, just a sweet guy and a very talented guy. Very smart guy. Dude, that guy has lived a crazy life. Yeah, crazy life. Well, I just wanted to talk to him about writing, you know what I mean? And I claim you as mine. I made, and he was like, not true.

I go, you found him because of my podcast and because of me, he goes, absolutely not. He goes, we used to go to his restaurant. Yeah. He used to wait. I love. And you didn't open mics together. Yeah, I did open mics with with Cobbleman because he was like in 2007 when I moved here,

he was, he was doing open mics every night. And I met him and I thought he was an open micer. I just thought he was like, you know, you see fucking wild things in the New York comedy open mic scene. You see people where you're like, Oh, you just came off the street just to get off the street. That's in your waiting for your name to get called out of a bucket. You don't see it. It's not like comedy clubs. Even when you start working comedy clubs. And there's like

an MC in a feature and a headliner. And there's like a whole hierarchy. And the way it works with the managers of shit. New York comedy open-mic scene is a zoo of people and I met a couple people when I first moved to New York and Brian Coppillen was one of them and I thought he was just a regular dude. He had like a big beard and he would always like wear these Jordan sweatshirts and I was like, oh, it's guys a fucking dad. I thought he was doing it because it's like you see a lot of guys They're doing it to get away from their families And they're just like I fucking my family's fucking nuts. I'm gonna be a comic But compliment like we were talking about it. I was like oh this guy like he knew comedy

He was normal. He was like semi normal and then we went to this really shitty show at bar none on I like semi normal and then we went to this really shitty show at bar none on I think it's on second avenue or third avenue it's on third avenue and we will go in and I'm like talking to him and he's like yeah I got to go to LA and I'm like oh cool you got a notification and he goes no I'm going there for work and I was like what do you do he's like I'm a screenwriter I was like oh sure sure sure yeah I'm a screenwriter too I'm're all screenwriter. I'm an actor, I'm a bucket director, maybe I don't know. And I'm like, cool, man. He's like, yeah, so my movie, I gotta go out to LA and do some stuff with my movie.

And I was like, cool, what movie? And he was like, ocean's 13. I was like, oh, yeah, okay, fuck. And then it was like, I jokingly told him, I'm like, I thought you were a construction worker. Can we just pretend you're a construction worker? And he was like, yeah, cool. That makes you feel better.

And then him and David Levine, the other co-creator of billions, their office was near those Caminos. So they would come in us. Those Caminos. Those Caminos, they would come in and watch me melt down during a lunch service several times. They came in and saw me like sweating and being like,

this fucking job, Fuck all these people. Yeah, dude, our guacamole never got to the table. Like son of a bitch. But it was, it was crazy because he never was like, you know, when we met, he was doing it because he was just wanted to do comedy and also he was writing, and it like helped with this writer, writing a writer's block. But he was like a guy that once we met, he was just like curious to see what it's like to go from like open mics to like check spots to guest spots to like getting spots

in the city. And he was like, I would check in with him once in a while, but it was funny because he told me he goes, Bobby Kelly claimed you. And then I had to prove that I knew you longer than him. Really? Really fucking bothered me, dude. It really bothered, because I was like, you know, you're one of my successes. Yeah. Because I started social media.

I started broadcasting. I started a lot of this stuff. We did. I started social media. I started social media. We have, I gotta do a ad real quick. Let me get this ad out. We write back after this, uh, this message.

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Go to hello2shy.com slash what dude? Hello2shy.com slash what dude and get 10% off your order. Right now, just go. I use mine. slash what dude and get 10% off your order. Right now, just go. I use mine. It's a, I got one for Keith Robinson because he had a stroke. You can, you know what I mean? How do you wipe your ass?

You don't, you can't do it. Good, it's good for him. It's, they have a couple different brands, but it's so easy. Unhook the thing on the wall. You put the tea split in, you hook it back up, you hook up the Tushi, you plug it in, you're done. 79 bucks, you're in, you're out, you got a clean ass hole,

you feel fresh and you don't have to worry about these people price scouts and toilet paper or taking all the toilet paper. And you have a cleaner ass than you did before. Tushy.com, helloTushy.com slash what dude? Again, helloTushy.com slash what what dude 10% off your order go ahead and Great and then we got a special guest that just came in Danny soda. I saw I just saw the name on the thing and I was like Mike you want to introduce our special guest my question? You're a tire this afternoon

Why it is pretty aggressive call to me. Yeah. Think of that till now. Why is it? David, his start video. David, turn on video. The video bottom left looks like a camera. Like I still fucked up. Bottom left, heavy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to turn on music. Oh, dude fucking hey, I like this. I like an entry truth Yeah, yeah, 40 in my ass off you guys Music, okay, so You see it start video bottom left They're ain't shit on the bottom left Are you on your phone or your computer? No my iPad where I did one this morning, so

So I got how to do it since this morning My caltah, but the only thing I'm a bottom is That so I here. I'll leave and I'll try it again. Okay. All right. Come back. We'll talk shit about you. What you're going to? Perfect. Leave. Now, what's weird about this is that I, Gabby's dad has been friends with him for a long time. And I've really known him my whole life. And I think I'm in a very young Gabby at one point.

Gabby? That's crazy that that's the mutual friend. Right. Gabby was that? Is that better? No. And the Bobby gets no credit for connecting call to Gabby. I, oh, I get absolute credit. I connect the world.

All right. That might be my thing on my headstone. Connected. Connected. Connected. Connected. might be my thing on my headstone connected the world connected uh if you whatever you liked in your life he has something to do with dude bobby if that's how they start diagnosing you with ct hello there he is look at that background what's up fucker

now we stand here. You're video is good. You're your sound is muted. But hit the we could see you, but we can't hear you. Which means we can talk as much shit to you as we want. No way man. I can't turn back. He could hear us.

His red sucks. He just wanted to audio. What's that? He disconnected the audio. Like that's not even hook you auto back a little that pool. Oh, yeah pool table We just heard him. I just heard him. He's got a billion room He's got a billion's room. That's when you get money. You can play pool You got enough room to play pool all the whole way around the pool table. That's where you have a pride of smashing into a lamp That's where you have your private conversations as while you're shooting pool. The first thing he had that I was very jealous of was a urinal. Yeah, that's pretty

nice house. That was awesome. Did you ever get it? Oh, you left again. Did you ever get one? I called out your you have a urinal in your house. I have a bidet. I have no urinals. Okay. Yeah. I didn't build I didn't build this house. I have a bidet. I have no urinals. Okay. Yeah. I didn't build. I didn't build this house. I bought it from a previous millionaire. That's so bad ass. Yeah. Uh oh. Here we go. Here it comes. All right. We're back. We're gonna do this. I feel like every time you leave Bobby should have to take off the jacket and put it back on again. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now let me ask you some some I got you guys with the picture But then and I did the other one I saw everybody but I could get sound

This is so weird now we could hear you but we can't see you yeah, I might you near him go to his house Post that you to start your video, okay Look at that shit. Hell yeah. Hi, Gabby. Hi, I miss you. I miss you too. You're doing great.

Thanks. You're great. I love your makeup, bet. Thank you so much. It was psycho. The human acne or the adult acne? Uh-huh. You know that?

Uh-huh. How you doing, David? I'm Robert. I'm Robert. That's Dan Soda. And up in the corner, the guy that looks depressed, that's Mushy Mike, our producer. How are you? Kind of look like Calhabb. Always good. It's up, buddy.

Hi. None, buddy. How you doing? Are you ever worried that your house is gonna catch fire? And those guitars are gonna go down well right behind those guitars is the canyon all the backyard and the canyon Psycho inlet and then it goes into a big canyon that fire happened twice so all those guitars behind me and Everything in this room I

Took out and everything in this room I took out and put them in the truck I call like five of my buddies that live about 15 minutes down the road and they came up and we loaded every car and truck and got these guitars out all the other shit so I'm just there. 6 or 7. Last call. How much is it? What is it? I don't know.

So, what you call it. Kevin Buehl, Springsteen's guitar tech. I showed him it. He says it's a great guitar. I don't know. I don't know.

So, what you call it? Kevin Buehl, Springsteen's guitar tech. I showed him it, he says it's either worth about 600 or 300,000. But it's signed by Les Paul. It was Carlos Santana's first guitar. And one show we went to in Tampa years ago. I think I went there with Coney and somebody else. And I presented it to him and I asked him, was this your guitar and I picked it up, he played it and he looked at it.

He's like, well, just or I said, was this your guitar? And he goes, yes it was. I said, would you like it back? He goes, enjoy it. I said, no. I'll trade you for any guitar that you played tonight. Keep taking your guitar back. And so he signed it and then he says, do me a fair one more signature on it. Get buddy guy. So when I moved back here in San Diego, I went and saw buddy guy. I took it in there and buddy guy signed it. And buddy's like,

come with me and went to the next room and BB King. He was touring with us. So I had BB King sign as well. So you have Carlos Santana's first guitar signed by Carlos Santana Buddy Guy and BB King. And last Paul. And last Paul, that's Paul Santana. That's not his only BB King guitar. The good thing about being rich is when you go get a guitar sign,

you can actually buy the authentic guitar. So we went to CBB King and he was like, I'm going to go buy two loose heels. And he brought a new daughter and brought another BB King signed them. And there it is right there. Yeah. I have, I have a degenerates post assigned by Jim Norton. I like to say Ron Jeremy. It's close.

He was saying, this is David's jacket. I bought this V-bay. This is when he played for the Red Sox. There you go. $100,000. That's not true. You're not. Still can't button it.

I know that. I got you in your head. That'll fit you. You know the same one he lived here and he like normally when your friends ask you to help him and something like, fuck, when Dave's like, hey, you want to come over and help me clean my office? I was like, fuck yeah, I do because I'd leave there with about 50 grand worth of autographs and shit.

It was awesome. Dude, yeah, that's got to be fun junk that you throw away. He got you. Hey, this is from a perfect game when I was a Toronto. That's got to be fun junk that you throw away. He got you. Hey, this is from a perfect game when I was a Toronto. I hope fuck, that's incredible. No, we, uh, they're in this pandemic. So like the first, I don't know, first two weeks of this.

I said, you know what? I'm going to go because in the garage, I have a big, huge closet. I just throw all my crap in there. And so Nina's like, let's go through everything. So I took everything down. I have like five, six shelves all the way up. And took it. I found stuff from back in the 80s when I was in the minor league.

I was like, oh geez, I still got this. It was unbelievable the shit that I had. So what we did is we just we itemized everything Logged it in all the bats everything all the gloves jerseys. I Got so much stuff. It's ridiculous. What's your favorite jersey that you have that is at yours? That's not mine. Yeah, like that's not Played with or just I have I have Babe Ruth Jersey I have Babe Ruth Jersey. Wow.

Have you heard of him? You have Babe Ruth hat that you wore in a game and Tori told you to take it off, right? Yeah, I sold that. When we had the fire, I sold that, but in auction, what? How much did you get for that? Almost 600 grand? You bought it for the 30s, all right? 35, yeah.

35, oh my god, what the fuck am I doing? I was crazy. But you realize that that had only became worth 600 grand because he wore in that game. Yeah, pretty much. Now some technard watches weird Japanese porn wearing it. So I developed a witch. Whoever bought it, I talked to the guy who sold it for me. Techner watches weird Japanese porn wearing it Whoever bought and I talked to the guy who sold it for me and he I talked to him a couple weeks ago And he said that that guy sold this collection somebody else bought it But you know, he didn't he didn't tell me what they got for or whatever But you know, I kind of kicked myself and the butts are doing it, but then again

You know, it's put in the fires. You never know. You might as well get this. I'm your good stuff. And that's what I put that. Did the hat fit your head? It was a little big on me. I had to put some cushion in there. And I wore it for that one. And then Joe told me to take it off. So why did he why did he tell you to take it off and just out of respect? So why did he why did he tell you to take it off and just out of respect?

Hell yeah, did he? No, did they know you were putting it on like in the dugout like did you just like Joe Joe? Joe knew Joe knew I was gonna wear it, but he's like you're not putting the hat on. I said, I'm gonna wear it sometime trust me. He goes, no, you're not. I said, we'll see. time. Trust me. He goes, no, you're not. I said, we'll see. And so the day I wore it, you know, I walked, I did my warm up, walked across the diamond back into the dugout. And when I was walking through the dugout to go up to my locker, get it. Joe was just staring at my hat. He was just staring at my hat, seeing me. I looked at him and said, see, it's normal hat. And I ran up my locker, put it on, and I ran back down in the tunnel.

And I just see Jorge and Jeter just sitting on the top rail. And I'm like, go, go, run out to the field. Because when they run out, they start the music and all that. And so they took off running, and I bolted out, and I bolted right out the tunnel onto the mound Joe's piss. So he ended up finding me like $2,500. That's it. Yeah, that's right.

Told him. That's it. Thought you got for me. Something bad. That is so badass. That's so badass. You were Babe Ruth's hat in a fucking game at Yankee Stadium. That is so bad. I was talking to's hat in a fucking game at Yankee Stadium. That is so bad. I was talking to a friend of mine who was at one night, big Yankee fan. He was at the

SNL party one night and it was around two in the morning and he looked over and you're still fucking pounding, hanging out. It took a good time, but you had a game the next day and he came up and he's like, you're playing tomorrow. He's like, yeah, absolutely. He like didn't even give a fuck. I didn't sound as good as you right there, but I think I'm playing tomorrow. Yeah, I can tell you, he has got the full on micromanal gene when it comes to drink. When you're about to pass out, he's there to tell you, come on, what the fuck? Call to, let me ask you a question.

If you're putting together like a party A team, you can only call one, you need the A team. Would you say David and Bert Kreischer or two of the members? I would say that the two of them together would probably cause a vortex in time, another black hole. It just creates a giant, a tonic ripple of a hangover for everybody. Hey, Kawa, wasn't it? Was it your bachelor party that we did? I loaded that son of a gun up the limo up.

We went to Orlando. Yeah. So, so I decided I'm going to have it a bachelor party. We were, we were not having a bachelor party so me and Wells and buddy my buddy Frankie and then Rico Chaconi who's to play for. And so we decided we're just gonna go to a nice steakhouse and have a nice dinner and then Wells is like, well, let's start off with a ball. We know we're shot up.

We'll do a chair. I was like, I cool do a shot. Then he's like, well, it's just a bottle of a tron. Now we're all drinking full glasses of petroleum already. And in the middle of dinner, it was like, we should, we should go to Orlando tonight, which is an hour away for no reason. And the next thing you know, a limo shows up and we're pouring into the limo going to Orlando. And no fucking, no plan to do this or another now in Orlando. And we walk into this bar because there's a band plan and they're shaving the drummer's head while they're playing with a buzzer and

Wells goes I'll give you 10 grand if you go do that right now and she goes like I'll give you 10 grand to you and I'm fucking poor Shit at that time I'm like that's 20 fucking grand But imagine I have to get married next weekend with with no hair Wife was like I would I want to show a time to do it. I'm gonna shave my wife's head. If David Wells was like $10,000, you go fight that band. I'd be like, all right. That I would have done.

Yeah. I literally would have got a man's scoop and right down the middle of my wife's fucking head. Her fucking whole main right off in front of David for 20 grand. That office stands today, David. I'm not rinking in the money like I did back then. So one of those guitars should be right. I love that his background looks like a fake background. It looks like it looks like it looks like a green screen. Dude, honestly, honestly, you got my live at Budukon up there, my Rick Nielsen.

It's amazing. Uh, poster, then, you know, you got Jerry Garcia. Honestly, if you look at, if you didn't know who David was and you just saw this, you would think we're interviewing a hard rock cafe manager. You should say, they're getting through the quarantine. I have to go to the kitchen. We can't have interim dining, but we do, do delivery. And it's a big problem. Well, I did during this pandemic, I did my vault

with all the baseball memorabilia. And then I would do segments of that, just break it up, because who knew how long this was going to be. I would have done that. I would have just showed little articles at a time to keep going But then I then I kind of built this room up for everybody and and then I end up showing the room this room This whole room because I got I got shit all over the place in here. It's just pretty cool So really unique stuff that I have But you know Gabby. I don't have any

So really unique stuff that I have, but you know, Gabby, I don't have any, I don't have a full bond jovy. I got your dad's guitar that he got me in sign, but it was one that he was playing and writing music on, but I need to bond jovy stuff. It's crazy. You don't. Well, it's just come over and steal it. Get everyone really hammered and start stealing shit off the walls. That's true. You bring up the bond Jovi because Dan Soda said that if there was one band that he could get rid of, it would be Bon Jovi.

Don't try to fucking, don't try to cut my Achilles. I don't know if it's all right. What is it called? Point was, and David's welcome to play the game. If you could eliminate, if you had to eliminate one band, and if you eliminate that band, you eliminate all the influence they had afterwards, which band would you eliminate? And I was honest, and I said, Bon Jovi, Bobby, who did you say, Bobby?

I said, the grateful dead, I'd fucking kill them all, and with my bare hands. I said, fish. Fish. We'll have to die. And then wait, who, Mike, who did you say? with my bare hands. I said fish. Fish. And then wait, who, Mike, who did you say you said? Cheryl Crow. Cheryl Crow, which is probably the best. That's a good one, because I, that's a great one.

I mean, she was not very nice. Yeah. Well, you have the benefit of me. Not very nice. She was a bitch. Yeah. She has that. She has that. She has that moral on her chin that just get it removed. You got enough money. Get that. It's risen.

It causes a shadow. You know, I feel about risen moles. Yeah, you could tell the time off of it. Yeah, stop trying to be interesting with your fucking Cheryl Crow. Imagine kissing it. You know, probably I went like one of the worst concerts. God, let me see what, Hall and Notes was one of them. And I liked their music, but man,

it was such a bad concert. Really? Oh. But, wondering who Hall and Notes influenced. But before that, I think, you know what? It was Prince. I saw Prince, and I left after about 15 minutes, I left Prince. But now, I'm saying, about 15 minutes I left. But now I'm saying if you

eliminate Prince, you eliminate everyone he influenced. So anyone after him that's cool with that. What a fucking take. Where did you see him? And that dude was amazing. He was unbelievable. He's unbelievable, but then you're 98 or 8 days. I think it was a lot of me because Prince influence me, Dan. So if you eliminate him, I'm not here either, Dave. So I think I'm being

a prince influence you. Bobby doesn't wear jeans with a butt cheeks at him. My dance moves, my songs, the way I treat people. Well, back in the day, he looked like Apalonia, so yeah, dude How cool I Did look like a little apalonia back at high school Yeah, coming out with those abs Yeah, I would say prince is the most controversial take outside of Suarez saying rush, but that's just because I love fucking Neil Perk

I'm yes, he was he was amazing. I Did rush probably 20 20 times and Those 20 times I still I tried to get a set of drumsticks signed for my son Lars and he would never do it But I'd see him hand him sticks to everybody else and he would never sign a set of sticks for Mars. Do you remember when you played for Toronto? I went and met you during spring training in Dunedin. And we went and we were going to go to lunch and we walked out of the locker room and there

was Neil Purt and Gettie Lee. Gettie. Yeah. And they just came to see the spring trial. I was like holy fuck. Like I just turned a corner into Gettie Lee. It was like I saw a. Like I just turned the corner into Getty Lee. It was like I saw vampire in the day.

Yeah, he was, he was awesome. He's a great guy. Alex was awesome too. But Neil was just always up to the side and, and really not very personal, but he was a true. You were weird guy. He was used to drive his motorcycle. He would ride his bike yeah his bike he would ride his bike like two to three hundred miles yeah

dude that's so fun to think you're just like driving by and you go was that Neil Pertleman bike? yeah he did yeah he tried to blow me behind a Marshall's once. Yeah, some homeless guy telling you he's Neil Perk goes, well, sure, I live in a drainage. That's where I get all the sound.

That was him. Oh, my God. Yeah, go ahead, Mike. What else have you been fine for? You go. Your mic is so bad. It's right to hear you. It looks like I'm blowing

I'm like in fucking I'm just blowing black guys on it's Dude Yeah, I'm so glad that you yeah, that's going out there the most famous Most interesting man in the world. Oh Barry. Yeah, this is named Barry. I don't know that guy Bobby your mic is I guess he died, but he's been dead for a long time and his wife His wife is really mad and this is a fun fact He's she goes his dick wasn't that big. They made it big in Photoshop She this this twat

This twat rat of him out and she could have just let him have it But she had to take it away in death. She's pissed because she didn't get anything out of the out and she could have just let him have it, but she had to take it away in death. She's pissed because she didn't get anything out of the death. Yeah. And she did. She got a really gaping vagina. That kind of that's kind of a fucked up thing to do to someone after their dead. You're like, if Jordan died and his ex is like, he wasn't even that good at basketball.

You're like, he was the greatest. Yeah. I was that said, if I died and then I became hugely famous because it was a picture of me with my fucking hog out on a coach and it got passed around as a meme and you guys all knew that that's not Bobby's deck. But everybody thought I had a massive hog and I could go down in history as the fucking ball guy with a massive hog. And then my wife is like, his dick

was, he was inside most of the time. Like an enemy. You know, I had to put, I had a push his belly button to get it out when we wanted to fuck. How the fuck are we on this conversation? I welcome you to watch it. Yeah, it always goes like Mike, go ahead. What were you going to say? I was kind of curious how he gets it out to you. No, you said that they find you for in the hat.

I wanna know what else you were fine for over the years. Like what are the better things that you were fine for? Well, when I wrote my book. Well, I know about that. Fuck that, that wasn't cheap, that was cheap. Well, that was like 150 grand, wasn't it? 160, 160 thousand. You signed my book, you said enjoy this $160,000 fucking book.

Yeah, no shit, that was crazy. They said I'd honest, the Yankee image, which I think the media really pressured the Yankees to do that, to be honest with you, but, you know, that was bad. And then they tried to tell while I go, if I'm gonna have to pay that fine, and then players are so at the same test,

they wanted me to file a grievance against it. And I'm like, you know what? I'm with the Yankees. I don't want to play there for the rest of my career. And so I agreed to do it, but I said, I want to send the money to the charities that I want. And they said, no, you got to do it to this charity. And I think one was the Wounded Warriors, which is cool.

And I think the other was the Safe at Home Foundation, Joe Torres. And that was a safe at his house. Safe at home. But I think the other rest of the money went to that. So. But no, Joe has it here. But I didn't know that at the time, but he does have a stage of home foundation, which I have attended a few times.

It's, he does on a pretty good event. So a couple of years ago, he had it in LA, Bernie Williams came up and played with a band there. Bernie could kill it, man. He's awesome. He loves you. He always talks, you should about you and everybody, when we talked to him. Yeah, we're just coming back, where's comeback man? We got along

That's great. How fun was that how fun was that Yankees team? That seems like that was a fucking fun team to be a part of Well, it was it was it was insane. I mean to me it's You know every success that we had People wanted to be a part of it. So you were getting nailed left and right by with tickets and doing all that. And I remember, I mean, I gave everybody tickets and if I couldn't find them, I'd buy them. But the team was so good. That's how we, you know, they just wanted to be a part of it. And a lot of people were a part of it that year at Buddy's shoot that.

Probably went to 30, 40 games at Yankee Stadium just to see the mystique and how good we were. It was, that was a great year. It was awesome. Wasn't it, wasn't it, I mean, you played for the socks for a couple of years, right? Two years, yeah. Yeah, I mean, how did you feel about that? I mean, because when you play for the Yankees, I mean, that was, that to me Yankees Red Sox playoffs is the World Series When they're playing against each other who gives a fuck whose plan? How did he feel about it? That was the that was the World Series. How did I feel about it now? I hang out with him. Well, he was on the Red Sox

I heard me What it was a job so I didn't mind it one day I mean it's just when I When I left San Diego are Yankees when they let me go in 2000 in 2000 after 2003 I signed with the podgeys and for 2004 we came in to play the Yankees in Yankees. I got a standing ovation. It was very emotional. It just, I've got a roll call from Leach Creatures, which was awesome. Then the next year I go to Boston. We come back in to New York. I got food. I got people

throwing shit at me. I was the Antichrist of New York. I was like, whoa, wait a second. I just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just,

he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just,

he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he It was great, right? It also shows you how non-threatening the Padres are. But everyone was like, hey, what's up, David? Good job. Go get a contract. Padres? Are we afraid of the Padres? No matter where I went, it was a job and I had to do it the best I could. I didn't discriminate win, it was a job and I had to do it, you know, the best I could.

So, you know, I didn't discriminate because they're paying the checks. And, you know, so to me, you've got to be your best no matter where you play, whether you like it or not. Are you a Yankee or you a Red Suck? What do you think? Good, damn it. I know. I just want to do that. I just got a perfect game and some chips. He's talking about Joe Tori and Jeter. And you're like, one of those fucking two years with Johnny Damon. But I fucking did I have to do it right after they broke the fucking curse kid.

What's fucking? That's so funny. Now you got now you can brag you got what three broke champions not hard. It's I tell you, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's because the year before was a fuck fest too. I mean, I was on stage when he hit the home run and we were out again. So the next year, when we came back and we won that, I mean, I don't think there's anything greater in sports for me than when we beat the Yankees to go.

And then we, who gave a fuck about the work series? Was that that year that shitbag Kurt Schilling faked that buddy's hug? Oh, fuck. We didn't fake that. That was a goddamn man on a mound doing what he had there. Is that that year that that shit bag Kurt Schilling faked that bloody sock? We didn't fake that. That was a that was a guy that man on a mound doing what he had to do in a battle. Do you have any drunk guys in Massachusetts? Site that is like a religious moment. Fucking chilling had a bloody

And he fucking did it the way. And everyone's like, all right, take it easy. I be honest, I think they hand it up just a little bit, but he did it the way. Yeah, everyone's like, all right, take it easy. I, I, I, be honest, I think they hand it up just a little bit, but he did have the surgery. I saw the scar. So he did have the surgery, but you know, they numb that crap up to where you don't feel anything. We all would have done the same thing. But here's, here's the kicker, Rob.

If I was, if the Yankees would have kept me, that shit would have never happened. How about that? Man. No, no, no, that's a fucking shit you could talk. Cause you're in the same name. Yeah. Me and me and Burr actually went the next day after we won. We went to the Yankees Sylvan Air Shop in downtown Manhattan with all our red

socks, Regalia, and we held the door for everybody going into the store. Funny. So good. held the door for everybody going into the store. So funny. That's so goddamn. Look at the way I get punched. You're like, eh, fuck them. Yeah. We're down to our man hat and we were like,

you guys have the shirts? They're like, what shirt? The greatest come back in history shirt? They're like, no, we don't have that. I go, do you have the other shirt? They're like, what's the other shirt? The greatest collapse in the history of sports. It was a poor, we were like,

I way to get the fuck out of here. This is getting a lot easier. You're like, you ain't getting a shit kicked history of sports. It was a point where like I weird get the fuck out of it. This is yeah, I know it's bigger like you get shit kicked out of you. David, I always was like fascinated with Randy Johnson. I'm a giant fan so I watched him pitch for the diamond bags for years. Could that guy just throw fucking gas? We go through gas. Yeah, I mean you guys are all, but I just remember him hitting the pigeon. And that's one of my moments from. Have you almost, have you hit, have you ever had a pitch

go wild and you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, yeah, I mean, playing tie. I faced Randy. He hit me. I was hit against him. Um, here in San Diego. Yeah, here in San Diego, and he drove me, hit me right before our. Oh, I had to get the hell in San Diego, and he drove me, hit me right in the forearm. I had to get the hell out of the way because lefty on lefty is pretty gnarly. And, you know, I'm already belling anyways because I don't want to get hit in some bitch head. But, you know, he's, he's just for six, she had the six, ten, so he, yeah. But, you know, he would release the weird dude.

He's a weird dude. I don't know why that sexual ratio is down. Oh, really? Because he seemed like the weird dude. He's a weird dude. I don't know why that's the actual place where we're now. Oh, really? Because he seemed like a weird guy. Because I remember when he came to the Yankees, everyone was like, shave your face and then just looked like a weird, like he looked like he was like naked on his face.

He's just like, everybody. It's like the first time you see your dog after it gets wet. You're like, oh, that's weird. It's like seeing a bear without hair. You're like, yeah. He looked like a tall Ron Carcavise Google Ron Carcavise I'm going to Google it right now Ron Carcavise. I know I know he was a catcher for the white sauce Anybody else you're not dude. That's hilarious. I'm not pronouncing his last name at all and he called him cock of rice It was so funny.

But yeah, I got it with the mollions. And they're ready to, ready to judge him with the mollions. Who was the guy that you ever face a guy that you were like fuck me? This fucking mollion? Yeah. Movolon owns him. Yeah, I couldn't get that some bitch out. Really? More than bon than Bobby's a beat. What about Barry Bonds? Did you ever go get bonds? Yeah, yeah, he hit. And what was it, old five?

Well, when he hit 700 off the J.P.V., I pitched the next night, and he had 701 off me. So I made him sign my glove after the game. I took my glove and he signed it. So it was pretty cool. As a Giants fan, it was fun to have bonds because it quickly became in the early 2000s that you were like, he's innocent.

And everyone's like, he's clearly not. And you're like, fuck you. And then you said, the ball was jersey on. And you're like, never got caught. Balco was bullshit. I didn't know. I tell you what, 90s, probably the late 80s, 90s

and tell now has just been painted. You know, you never know. I mean, you see guys getting popped every year, but in the 90s, you know, when I was coming when I was there in the prime, I mean, it was tough. I mean, everybody was doing it, but, you know, back then, they didn't really make a big deal of it until, in Saigle got all but hurt and kind of sold everybody out.

So, to me, it was, you know, pitching in a steroid era is pretty different. I would rather pitch in a steroid era than what the, but the astros and the red socks were were doing. Yeah. So to me, you still got a pitch to these guys, but when they know what's coming, when Al Tughey hit the home run off a Chapman, who in the hell can hit that pitch, a home run. You're not sitting on that pitch, unless you know what's coming. So to me, that was, that was the beauty the beauty of but it was a challenge, you know But you know, so but those guys that did it that got caught are you know Obviously at some point they're probably gonna go and call it thing

But are they just a re-problem? Not yeah, if they're gonna do that and they better put peat rose and shoes Joe Jackson that can yeah Yeah, that's that's that's always the thing is like I feel like if bonds and you know McGuire and Sosa go in and so should Pete Rose Yeah, no doubt. I mean and and Peter he was just a punch in Judy but for 40 some hundred hits That's and he never better. He never bet when he played he was betting on it He was a manager, but just the reds so

Yeah, so that that's that's just that one makes you scratch ahead a little bit. You know, you're like, what the fuck? How did they have an idea? I don't know if you, I don't know if you wasn't betting. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Pete, they couldn't, every time they would drive home, you'd have to stop at the highlight track and then a derby lane of the dog track because he can pass anything that was taking action without laying a bet down. Well, that's, you know, he's got the fever, but, you know, to me, it's the no-no when you're managing and you can write a line up every night, you know, that, that, don't let him in as a manager, let him in as a player, but not a manager.

Yeah. Hey Dave. What did you get up? He's so much. He's a man. Got us on mute. No, he's just a nice shot. He's producing another podcast. He hasn't even been listening to this thing.

You know, it's funny because I was watching a try to kid two today. That's probably his real father, Sato. I'm not saying I'm not from Japan. You're from Okinawa. There is no way you're right. You're from the island of Okinawa. I'm on call to side now. I've known you for a while, Bobby. You are.

Okay. So, right. Did you ever run into a whitey ball? Sure. Ah, no, I look back then when they were there, I just didn't go to Southy. He just didn't go there. You know, we just watched the documentary on the other day. Oh, that would beat the shit out of you just for going in there. You know, I did a girl that wants, I mean, fucking smoking hot girl. And I dumped her because I couldn't take the anxiety of going to pick her up in South. I mean, and she always wanted to hang out and like in front of her apartment building and make out.

But back then, I had a little tiny mustache. I looked like a Puerto Rican more than Irish Italian. And I'm kissing this salty broad, this, you know, this red head. I'm going to catch a beat. And I used to kiss her and get the fuck out of my car. I just told her I go, I'm done. I can't do it. There's too much anxiety dating you.

One of your fucking brothers or cousins is gonna fucking stick a chalely in my ass. I'm not doing it. But now it's all gentrified. Now it's all rich people, all the, all the, all the fucked up parts of Boston, Charlestown, that's all, it's all, the only part left, but it still is North and it's still Italian. It's pretty much a lot of time. Bobby, I was gonna ask you, what was more terrifying to walk through Southy in the 80s or Charlestown? For me, Charlestown, because I mean, I got mugged in Charlestown

when I was fucking eight. That's it. What? For your house. By who? Yeah. This guy, this fucking guy. This guy was like, and it wasn't even met the pan. I know. Yeah, yeah, I go fucking Not as guy was like and it wasn't even method What did you have to give him?

80 cents took 80 cents I had 80 cents. He took me and my friend at 80 cents We will go into the mall to steal fishing lures like because we want to go and He we had 80 cents and he took the 80 cents. And then I say, sir, can I please have a dime to call my mom to come pick us up? And he threw me a dime.

I know. Thank you. It was a nice guy, after all. Ciao. I'm never done. I'm never done. Ciao, ciao, it's a nightmare. Hey, Dave, let me ask you a question.

This is, when did you know that you had the goods to play ball? Because that, that's a fucking, you know, look, anybody can step on stage and start comedy and do it and, you know, whatever. But to play baseball. That's an art. Well, well, you haven't been to an open mic. How do you know? But, have you? Well, well, you haven't been to an open mic. How do you know? But, uh, have you?

I have. You did comedy. Where? No, I've been, I like, I saw it. Just as a participant, seeing people, you know, for the first time doing additions and stuff like that. Here in San Diego down in TV, they used to have an improv down there. Dude, that's good. They would have people come in and like that. Here in San Diego down in TV they used to have an improv down there. Dude, that's gonna be what have people come in and do that, but to me it was, that's not easy to get up and doing that. That's crazy. That's gonna be such a mind fuck to be on stage in an open mic and you're like, is that David Wells? But a no-stop check this shit out. So years ago,

we're in Las Vegas going to see my buddy Jason Schaff who was the bass player for Chicago. And so they were touring with the Beach Boys. I think they did a little residency at the Seasors' Pouts. So I came in with my ex-wife and we were hanging out and Jason doesn't drink. So he's been for a few years sober. And so we go to this comedy act. And he's like, hey, let's go to this comment, but then we're going to go to karaoke afterwards. And you're going to see us, dude, I don't say it.

I got to get drunk if I'm going to do that. So he just started buying beer. And we went to get I got to get drunk if I'm gonna do that so he just start buying here buying there And we went to this comedy act and it was I Think it was Donald Curry. I guess the guy who played hanging with mr. Cooper Mark Curry. Yeah Mark. Mark. Yes. Yeah, Mark Curry and Hugh Fink, okay, and Hugh Fink was a writer for SNL and so We get there and I'm already kind of buzzing up a little bit and so Mark Curry's doing his thing and then he's done and it comes Hugh Fink.

Hugh Fink, little, you know, Jewish guy gets up on the stage and he goes, hello ladies and gentlemen, good to see everybody here, I'm Hugh Fink and all that and I'm like, and I'm like, I'm already tipsy. And I'm like, Hugh Fink. Hugh Fink. I'm like, we're like three rows back. I stood up like a dumb shit.

I stood up and I go, Hugh Fink on me and I'll kick your ass. Yeah. Yeah. I got, he proceeded to bury me the whole show. Oh yeah. He just ruined me. And I sit there like this, and my thumb and my mouth. Everybody's laughing at me, talk to shit.

And I'm just like, I felt about that tall. So fast forward, I'm in New York. It's 98. I go to Saturday Night Live. And I had full range of, Lord Michaels, Gini, you know, VIP anywhere I wanted to go. So I'm down on the, I'm back in the dressing room, just cruising where they make up and all that stuff.

And in the corridor, this guy walks by me and I look and I go, excuse me, sir, and he stops me, I go, is your name Hugh Fink? He goes, yeah, yeah, and I said, oh my God, I said, is your name Hugh Fink? He goes, yeah, yeah. And I said, oh my God, I said, dude, I got a story for you. He goes, but his it, what is it? He was all excited. Because he knew who I was. And when I saw my new it was, I said, I went to this comedy act in Vegas years ago. And you were on stage, and this dude stood up and set something to you and you proceeded and he goes

I know I buried that son of bitch. He goes that guy was an idiot. I said hey asshole. This is the idiot He bolted right out of that room Ran I was like, that was so fun. That's so fun. No, no, no, no, that was all good, dude. I was hammered and I know better than a mess with a comedian. But then that year he wrote, he did all the writing for the S-mas. And that's when I want to S-maspe that year.

So pretty cool. But now we're friends, we're good friends now, so let's meet. But they, look, just, but I have to disagree with you, because there's a lot of comedians that have specials and are on TV that I don't think of that good, right? In baseball. Bobby, I'm on the fucking news. Yeah, well, I have to be honest.

It stays well. Mushmead, Dan, so we can get through this. Mm-hmm. But I'm saying, though, like baseball to play professional ball that has to be a moment where you know I got it. I'm going to do this. I was probably like 10, 11 years old. I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. In baseball, I played basketball, I played everything. Every sport I played, I practiced until I was one of the best ones out there.

I'm ever getting cut. I was so pissed off that I got cut. I said, I'll never get cut again. So everything I did, I did pretty well. But baseball just stood out like a sore thumb. And I can always throw the ball hard. From some of the skinny run that I was, I just I threw really hard. So it's kind of intimidating. When you're throwing, you know, 10, 15 miles

faster than anybody else your age. And it just kind of progressed that way until I got into high school, you know, my senior year, I'm throwing my 96 miles an hour. Wow. So, but I think probably people really notice They say you're gonna go place when I was like I Intense grade on varsity intense grade So they knew I was gonna go then I Been doing comedy for 30 years nobody's ever said that to me Dangerous I'm still waiting for somebody to go, you're going places, kid.

I mean, the best is his upbringing. I mean, his mom was hanging out with all the hells angels. They were always partying. I mean, nobody, you didn't come from an athletic family. No, not at all. I just put it in. Yeah. Exactly.

I'm showing my show. That's, that's fucking great. You're just showing up throwing fucking heat showing up. That's fucking great. You're showing up throwing fucking heat and then all these baseball kids are like, I was on a Mickey Mantle team. Why is this guy doing this? And you're like, fuck you, boo. What's this?

What the cool part was, when I was 15, 16 years old and caught me, this girl that I was going out with, and my sister came to the game with these these trolls or just they were messing with my sister and my girlfriend and they were giving them crap while the game was about ready to start and usually down the third baseline because we were on that side that's where all the hell's angels hung out and they'd always come to my game so which was really cool and I would get 25 cents to strike out and five dollars a win. So which was really cool. And I would get $0.25 to strike out and $5 a win. So I had like 15 of those dudes that I was making bank. And so they kept messing with my sister and my girlfriend. So one of the guy, one of the kid I knew I grew up with his dad was working the snack check. So he went and told my told my mom you know because I'm pitching that game

I just see like 10 Hell's Angels walk right in front of all the families and They were sitting in the stands right there and the hell's Angels went out and grabbed these two dudes by the back of their thing and just took them behind and You know and the rest was history. It was great. Everybody, because everybody was afraid of me because of the hell's hatred. These guys were awesome.

They were heart guys and after that happened, they were high five in the A.J. They were doing everything and they were like family. Everyone was afraid of me and my house passed. So I'm a cool story. Dude, Daddy's just as someone that's allowed mouth just being at a baseball game and you're like, hey, fuck you. What are you? Your brother, a place with another team. Fuck you. Shut up. And then all these hells angels come over and you're like, oh, what's up? Yeah.

Let me tell you, I had a, I was a little, I had a little bit of attitude just because of that because. Yeah. You know, anyone mess with me and I would mess with people a lot bigger to me. You know, you've been, you know, you've messed with me and I would mess with people a lot bigger to me. You know, you've been, you know, you messed with me. My mom's boyfriend is going to beat your ass. So,

by the way, he's a hell of angel. So that's the last word for a little bit. That's the last thing you want as someone in a vest to beat the shit out of you. You know, you don't want to get hit up by anybody. Vestor, no vest. You don't want to get beat up. It sucks.

Why did my mom date anybody in an MC? She did it fucking insurance adjusters. I feel like I need a Randy. You were you were getting fucking your enemies chain whipped. That's fucking awesome. Well, at least you could say you didn't grow up on welfare. That's true. You know what?

I did. I did. You know what sucks is when your mom hand you the food stamps, it says go to the store and it'll be less. Yeah. You're walking up every aisle and you know everybody in the store and you're going, you hurry up and leave people. I would be two, three hours because I didn't want anybody to know where I'm elsewhere.

Was your mom, when you got your first like major league check, was that like a moment with you? You like call your mom and you're like, hey, this is we fucking did it. We're out. Oh, yeah, I bought her a condo. I bought her a car. I took care of her. That's that's fucking badass. I love that. He was stoked. Oh, yeah. Instead of going to a band near something, you buy your mom. Take care of mom. Yeah. Dan is on the show Billions on Showtime, which is the hit show.

And you take care of your grandmother, right? Don't you take care of your grandmother? Yeah, take care of her grandmother, mom. Yeah, he's literally one of the greatest comics out there right now, special on HBO, on Billions. He has probably millions in the bank, but he has that couch in his house. This is a like-houch. It's also a futon, house. This is my couch.

It's also a futon, Bobby. This is my beautiful. He, all his money, all his money, he helps his grandma and his mom, what a good kid. Yeah. People could sure a lot of DNA on that couch. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a quarantine.

There's a, it's not taking a black light to it. No, I don't even watch. You just lay on that. He's whatever's on that it's going to kill anything. It's out of your body. Right. Yeah, you have the antibodies on that couch. Yeah, we've got the vaccine.

And it comes from my loins. Deep in my loins. I'd rather be fine. My loins. When are you coming back here? Well, I was trying to get there soon. I mean, when this, I left on March 20th, when this thing really got out of control,

you know, I was panicking on the flight home because there was barely anybody in coach and there was like seven or eight open seats in first class, where Neen and I were flowing and they'd let everybody, every seat that was in first class they filled. and I flew in and they'd let everybody, every seat that was in first class they filled. And there was nobody in college and I was about, I was about ready to go back and coach. I was so pissed. I was paranoid. I was petrified. But I got here

so we quarantined for tell now. I mean, I, last week as I finally started going out and golfing, you know, just to get out of the house. But I mean, I'm, I'm a porch. I got a big property. So I'm out at the pool every day. It's 90 degrees in my backyard pretty much every day, because, you know, it's just, we're in a heat spot, so which is great. So I'm occupying doing stuff, but man, I tell you, it was, so I've been trying to go to Michigan up to the, we got to ranch up in northern Michigan, and I can't even get there. It's like these flights, you got to take like three flights to get there

and I'm not going to go on that because I'm tied to diabetics so I'm one of those you know guys it has a chance of you know what's your name? It does. You're old now too. Why don't you get it? Why don't you go in those RVs and do a cross-country trip? I thought about that, you know, I'm just driving my truck, but then I'm not gonna sleep in a hotel. I'm not gonna do any of that. Do the RV, sleep right in the RV, man. You get one of those big big five-year-old class. I saw mine. I mean, it was a brand new one and it was a lemon. So I got rid of it. They gave us all our money back, thank God. But, you know, to me it was just like you learn your lesson once, once it's one and done. But yeah, that would have been cool to do. I got four dogs. I'm not going three thousand miles with four dogs and you know, pissed off life and a knucklehead for a kid.

It's all he would do is play video games all the time. He wouldn't drive. He wouldn't do any of that. So yeah. But Lars goes to Michigan State. So it's cool. He wants to get back bad. He wants to go there, get his Jeep and then drive back home. So. Great name. No, Lars. What's that? The Lars. That's a great name for a kid. Yeah, his first show was in Tampa when Metallica. Were you that at that show, Mike? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were this. So I got backstage passes and they were doing a meet and greet.

And they came in and Lars came by and he goes, you must be gay. And that must be many me because he heard that they named my son out for him. And so we took a really cool picture. He's got a, I got a picture of Lars, Lars when he was a big couple months old. So that's bad. When you go to a concert, when you're, when you're a morning radio guy and you get backstage passes, you go to the meet and greet with a hundred other people and you wait in line, you take a picture of the artist, when you go at Wells, you sit on the stage and watch

Metallica from the side of the stage, Pirates blowing up next to you. That's the best fucking experience ever. No, it's awesome. Because like when it was just, I don't know, probably, eight, seven, eight years ago in Tampa, you know, Gabby's dad was, they were playing there and I took Nina and her best friend and her husband and shit, they rolled out the red carpet. We're in the back stage and I mean, Rich, he was great. John was poking his head in and out.

He was doing his own thing, but he would come out, take pictures and all that. But, you know, what'd you get to know these guys and they trust you? They were all out the red carpet. I mean, it's pretty cool when you're hanging there and then you see all these other celebrities on the outside and you're that guy in there, you're like,

yeah, I'm cool. When did you meet my dad? I never even asked you guys that. I met your dad in Wayne Trebetts, Wayne. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. What a fucking rock. And we have the reception at Fiddler on the Green in Central Park. And so, and it is a great story because we're sitting there at the reception. And Nina goes,

she says, she's nice, she's nice, she goes, she goes, honey, she goes, that's David Bryan, upon Jovi. And I go, I look, I go, you're right, it is. And he was there with your mom. And You're right, it is. And he was there with your mom. And she goes, he was my favorite in Bon Jovi. She goes, I drooled over him. She goes, I drooled over. And I said, really? I said, that's good to know.

I said, everyone probably want Richie or John. And so I saw your dad get up and go to the bar. So I get up and I see my right there and I introduce myself to him and he was really cool. I said, I said, I got to come clean. I said, my wife wanted to bang you back years ago and over find you. And so I motioned for her to come over and I think he's like, oh, so you wanted to bang me, huh? Her friends at tomato. And that was our introduction to Dave and Dave and I've been great friends ever since. So yeah, you should like 10 or 11 years old at that time.

Yeah. Yeah. So funny. But I was shocked how awesome Gabby's dad like it, like how normal of a funny guy he is. He's literally just a dude from Jersey. That's how he tells you. He's from George Jersey. He's the best. He's the best. She got me tickets to the show. I brought my son Maximus. And he was on my shoulders and he

took a nice shit on my neck. Midway through shot through the heart. Oh, really? Is that what he dropped? Yeah. Sure wasn't a flow shit. It actually felt good in my neck. I was a little cold to it. Warm my neck. I had to take him. I had to take him in the days. She took me into Dave's locker as a dressing room.

And I cleaned him like a pit crew. And we went back out and did the show. We went to the best show. I mean, I'm Dan, I know you talk. Juan Jovey puts on a fucking great show. That's great, Bob. You're not betting my, you're not betting. 25 shows as well.

And even they get a private gig. When I was with the Red Sox, they did a private show at Boston college, and it was in a private, and some dude paid like $2 million to have them in days. Like you're with me, you're carrying my keyboard. Or whatever. So he gave me some, so I went in, and got a full private show,

with them and all that. That's a cool thing about knowing somebody, because like I said, when you become friends, they do everything. And Dave comes here and he starts all this place here, the whole way around. Yeah, so that's the last time I saw you. Yeah, so Memphis, and then Chase and the song,

was it Chase and Saul? Yeah, and then chasing the song, was it, was it, and then Diana. And then Diana. So we just, we went to all three of those. And then Diana's on Broadway, and it hadn't been shut down because of this, but we got to see it first and foremost, and we stayed out there,

and we got to be the critics, give them a quick, see this is what we thought of this and that. That's pretty cool how it does. But Dave rents a house here for a couple months. We hang out every night. It's pretty cool. It's the best. What's that?

We're drunk on whiskey. Yes, we were. Last time I saw you, we were drunk on whiskey. Hell yeah. That's all right. We got plenty more time to do that. I don't mind. When he comes to here, but it's neat neat because we want to be rock and roll.

We want to be them and they want to be, you know, they want to be baseball players or football players, whatever it may be. But, but when you connect and you do all that stuff, it's pretty cool because I got a piano, you know, in the house and day was over years ago and he signed it for me. And I had Jason Jeff from Chicago signed it. Toby Keith came over, we went motorcycle riding and he

used to be in here so I think I had him sign that panel so I got three signatures done. So it was pretty cool. It's pretty bad ass. We should be interviewing Gabby. What's it like growing up? One of the best bands of all time. Oh, we've asked Dr. O. David, we've asked her. She won't answer. Gabby what's it like growing up with one of the best bands of all time? We have a daughter David. We've asked her.

She won't answer. I only could say so much. I'm under contract. I'm under contract. I'm under contract. She's not a fun Joey fan. Yeah. I know where she gets a lot of her humor because Dave's a son who's at funny sound of

bitch. He's got the best one liners of all time. Truly. We had Dave on. He's fucking hilarious. Yeah. He was on the show three weeks ago. But yeah, she won't give us any dirt at all on any. Oh, I know.

I know how headless Jack and when he was on the show, biggest fun, Joey fan of all time. I'm in stories. Yeah, I bet you do. I know, I know. I didn't know how weird it was all came about. We're doing the show and then Gabby's on the show. And then she knows you. I don't know. I know. I know. I didn't know how weird it was all came about. We're doing the show and then Gabby's on the show and then she knows you. I don't know. It was all fucking weird. I was, I was freaking out. Like there's no way. She, I just, I didn't know you did

producing and all that. And then you text me. I'm like, oh, that is so cool. It was so fun. I found out two days ago. Bobby was like, David, what did we have David Wells on the show? And I was like, no fucking way. My boy. Yeah, that's awesome. It's small world. Small world. It is a small world.

It's so funny too, because when Gabby was first on the show, I she'd ever told me who she was. She was just a comic, a young comic that a friend of mine hooked me up with, because I needed somebody to do the stuff, to produce the show. And then I would see her Instagram, and she'd be with the, I thought she was dating the dude from Bon Jovi.

I'm like, why are you with this fucking dude? In all your Instagram photos, like it was freaking me out. And I was just like, that's my dad. I'm like, oh, thank God. You know what, I fucked up because I asked Gabby, was it last year when they did Diane here? And I'm like, because I usually have a comment like Larry, the cable guy comes to my event, he'll do like 30, 40 minutes, you know, for all my, for a private show, for online, the celebrities of people who buy a force, I or for my golf event, for my foundation. My Gabby, you wanna come?

She goes, yep, I'll come, and I never call it a day. I apologize. It's okay, he was like, you could do 40 minutes. I was like, listen, I'll do a tight 15, and then I'll lose 10, and then I'll talk for five minutes after that. There you go. Cause I usually, I do a comedian,

and then I usually get slightly stupid plays, and then I've got these guys I've known for years. They do cover songs, and they kill it. They're like, everybody wants them every year, because they do all cover songs, and they've been playing since we were in junior high school. They've been a band, and they just, they kill it. They both both toddlers available if you need us. There you go. Get it. Slap in the base, man. Slap in the base. Dave, you know, Mike's doing a little stand-up now, too.

Did you know that? No way. Yep. He go, but he lost time at side splitters. And he was like, I think I'm gonna, I was like, all right, And I thought he was gonna do all right. He went up and fucking killed for 10 minutes. You better have gotten so much info from Ralphie Mayo over the years. I still always, as soon as he died, I took all those jokes he wrote in my house, he threw those in the jail. Yeah.

You should have hacked his computer because I know that's what you guys keep all your jokes. Yeah, you gotta write all those things down. It's crazy. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. of here. It was when you go sleep on the couch. Yeah, we're gonna go and I gotta go lick the futon get these antibodies up Who where are you by the go? What what where where the fuck are you that you have my girlfriend's guest room at her apartment? Oh, where is she? Can we get a look? Can we get a look at her? Here's your old friend to the little baseball

Dude, I'm here. No one on the product I got to see her. She's nowhere on the floor. Get her in. And get her in. I gotta go. It's not nice. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I fucking love her she's the best Katie Nolan from ESPN Yeah Yeah, Dan is no fucking joke and I'm glad I found you when I did I'll take that compliment from David Wells. We want a way to close out the fucking episode. And I love you, buddy. Check out me on the dreams of Peter Sniper's, dude. Bobby, I love your call to I love your Gabby. I love you too.

I love you, I love you, daddy. Suarez, I don't know where the fuck you went. The Suarez is in the crowd in the back. Oh, yeah. Nice meeting you, man. This is what we're getting to see his dad. Yeah. And his mom. Yeah. I love you guys.

I'll talk to you later, buddy. I'll see you. I'll check out the bond fire. Four nights a week, I believe. Five nights a week. Four nights. Monday through Thursday, six days. Six days a week.

Monday through a four. The series XM, one of the greatest shows on serious right now. Him and Big J and billions every Sunday, seven episodes. And HBO special. I'm so glad I found you, Dan. You are. You discovered me, Bobby. You put, you let these wings spread, baby.

I love you guys. I'll see you later. I can't wait to fire all this comedy act up. Yeah, dude, fire it up. Get a whiskey. Yeah, straight I am. We love comedy here. Hell yeah. All right. I'll see you later guys. I'll see you later, man. Take care. You should start with your best joke. You think on me and I'll kill you.

You think on me? I kick your ass. I love fucking dance. So what a he's the best. He's just a, I mean, there is no, anytime he comes on anything, it's just fucking fluid. He's just a fluid human being. You don't have to ever do anything, or he just goes, I love him.

Funny, fuck, his special is great too. So, I mean, you guys gotta have, I mean, large stones and just because to get up on a stage, I mean, it's easy for us to pitch up front of 50,000 people. We don't have to talk about it. You know, and we entertain them, and then when we don't, we get booed, just like you guys would get booed, but if nobody laughs at your shit, I mean, to me, is that like the worst feeling when nobody kind of laughs at you at all? I've bombed in front of 14,000 people

at the Boston Garden. And to hear 14,000 people not be quiet is one of the fucking shittiest feelings I've ever felt in my life. To scream out some shit and just have them stare at you. And there's one guy going, keep going. I love it. It's bad.

And I mean, look bombing, bombing is something you get used to as you get. Like now, like during the week when I bomb, I can kind of feel it and get into it because you're figuring out what the jokes work. But bombing when you're getting paid, when you're on a fucking show and it's your show and you can feel that bomb coming and it's terrifying. It's like crashing in a plane because you literally feel your fucking plane going down and you're trying to pull up and nothing's working. And everyone's about, I'll pull up.

I don't bomb that much anymore, but it's a petrifying feeling to bomb in front of people, especially fans. Yeah, I just, I don't think I can, I think I was a baseball player because I couldn't hack it, you know, trying to be a comedian and then going out there and if your material isn't epic, I don't know, I'd be a fucking great drunk.

I'd be an element drunk. Yeah, it's funny because when you do do good, I don't think there's anything in entertainment better than killing as a comedian. I mean, being a rock star was awesome, I get all that. But making people laugh to hysterics and then having them fucking flip aren't them out. Well, that's, that's a good every 30 seconds, making people fucking roll over in a chair. Laughing is a pretty awesome feeling.

First time I hosted at the Comedy Cellar, I bombed my ass off. Oh, I was there. Yeah, it was I literally was like, you know what? You know, I'll get a job in marketing. I was like, it's good. I'm done So what if I would have bombed you made a fun mirror would you have oh if you bombed that night? Yeah, I Stid I would have fucking trashed you Yeah, yes, yes, I would have went up on stage and be like holy shit stick to the microphone I mean we would have we would have had some fun But I knew you weren't gonna bomb because here's the thing is you're a funny you're funny in the fucking

Sprinter on the way there we make each other laugh. Yeah Also, I don't it's all about confidence and I don't care. So I wouldn't bomb that bomb that one. Right. I remember Gabby one night was fucking bomb and then she went to crowd work, which was how that's always hilarious. What? What? You went, uh, so were you from? There was one time at the cellar. I was literally like, uh, you guys hate me. where are you from? Yeah. And I remember she started crowd work and then, they weren't having that.

And it's like, you got nowhere to go. Once the crowd work, don't work. You're done. She was like, ah, you guys ready to start this thing? And they were like, yep. Yeah, please. Well, the thing, he let me host at the comedy seller like, truly way before I should have.

So I was just like really getting my bombing stripes. And then now it's fine. But bomb bombing is the best thing because it teaches you how to just not give a fuck. So when you go up, why don't you bomb, you've already done it. You know, so now going back up is, so then when you start getting laughs, like, oh, this feels a lot better than that. Let me just try to do this.

So just take it, one show is like one at that. You go, old for 15. Do you quit? You think about it. You think about it, you think really hard about it. Hey, you're you spend all my think about you know, it's so funny. I actually always thought I play baseball as a kid. West Medford Little League. I caught the game winning ball hillside beat West Medford for 10 years. I caught the game winning ball slid into my knees left, caught it on my knees sliding to win

for the first time West Medford. Beat Hill set, first time 10 years, I won it, slid, and then the whole team pigg piled on me, and I cried because I couldn't breathe. So, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And then they handed me a root beer and I had a root beer. I had no dad either, so nobody was there because my mother had to work.

And I was just by myself crying, walking home. Congratulations. Yeah, I know what it's like to be on the bottom of the pile. That's not very fun. It's sock stave. It's not a good thing. You think you're going to die. That's what you're going to do. You really do. And it's not like football where you have a helmet. And there's a little air between the grass in your face. Baseball players, they pick pile and now it's it's terrible, right? Yeah, we were in Atlanta. We won the World Series in 92 and we went running out there and I saw the way out I

slipped and fell and I'm on my back and somebody fell down the top me and their leg was right across my chest and then here comes the whole team and I'm like I'm done I couldn't move and somehow I found myself to turn over, did a push-up and knocked everybody off me and just like, I didn't even enjoy the celebration I would like because I thought I was dead. It's such a bad... It's like they should ban the pig pile. The pig pile is fucking bullshit. Oh, just being smart pig.

No. There you go again. Dude Paul Avil does, it just jumped on top of everybody, so he's on the top. It's the top. It's the worst. You ever see the guy get up from the bottom of the pig pile? He just looks like he was fucking, it's just trauma. What did you mean? Yeah, yeah, because it's like, he just did this great thing

and then you died. Has anybody ever died from a pig pile? I wanna find out. I bet you said that. It's been there a great show. But you know the best thing about it, we walked home with a root beer Well, I wish I could button this jacket

Is it is it is an asmeteom? It's a smextra large. It's not a stre a extra large. It's a fucking I think it's a medium. I have this. This is my one of my gold jackets. I brought this jacket because I'm going to lose weight. And it's actually better than it was. But I'm almost there. But if you paid me $10,000 right now to button this, I'd have to give you a money back. Right now, instead of seeing it all together, we just eat ton. Oh, Bill, I tell you this whole thing, I haven't had bread in like almost two months. It's like, I just said, you know what? I'm going to get in shape. I said, I'm going to get in shape. So I went on this retarded diet and I gained like 10 pounds and I was I didn't even eat 10 pounds

where the food and I was just like you gotta be kidding me. How do you gain weight through the pandemic when you're not even eating? I mean I'm I'm I finally went in my gym. I got I think I can cardio I do like like I used to 10 miles a Hello. And yeah, and then I lived every other day and I was like, I can't lose it. It took like four and a half weeks before I finally lost a pound. I was like, what the fuck was that? What?

What were you eating? It was ice cream. I was having my protein shakes in the morning, but I fast like for 15 to 17 hours, I don't eat past 7 30. We drinkin'. What? We drinkin? No, no drinkin. Nothing. Nothing. And I'm just like, you got to be kidding me. And then finally about about 7, 8

years ago, I just went. So I lost probably about 15, you know, but it took too much to lose 15 pounds. It sucked. Hey, your body, I did the same thing. I did the whole 30 where you do that cleanse and you get rid of all the shit. But then there's a point where it just, it kicks in. Your body is clean and then it kicks in and then you start just drops away.

Well, it's just your body holds, I guess it exists, whatever, and we just stay fat. And fat doesn't go anywhere. But I can gain 15 pounds in a weekend easily. Yeah. Easy. Oh, isn't it funny? I can gain 30 pounds this week if I wanted to. And then right now I lost weight, but I still look like a melted candle naked. So our regimen back when I lived in Florida, we were going to e-bore after e-bore we'd go get a we get a a dozen donuts at the crispy cream and then when we're dry eating those all the way down to white castle art crystals crystals crystal we get like a ten pack and then go home get home about three three thirty in the morning just obese and then do it again the next night.

I was right there. He's the worst because when he's drinking and eating, you're doing it with him, but don't need the sides to go on a diet, then you're forced to do that as well. I remember when you were in Manhattan, we'd be like, oh, we're gonna go to the store and you go, come on, we're gonna walk there.

I'm like, it's like 42 fucking bucks in the winter. And you're like, come on, we gotta get in shape. We gotta walk. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't imagine Mike, two fucking box in the winter. And you're like, come on, we got to get in shape. We got to walk. I couldn't imagine Mike you walking 42 blocks must have took three days. Yeah, but no, because I get him. Yeah, I'm most I move like a slow ship in the night. I call him. I call him. I call him the non-chalant elephant. But he's got a brain like an elephant. elephant. But he's got a brain like an elephant. I'm sure you got them right. I can't remember. That's right. That's right. That's right. Kills me as I can't remember anything

anymore. I told my you got to tell we got to have a conversation or whatever. And you got to tell me everything that happened in the 90s and 2000. All right. I'll write that book for you. What's that? I'll write that book for you. What's that? All right that book for you Please just remind me of a bunch of stuff is I don't even have a shit dude What band did we what band that I fight the security at backstage or we got kicked out? She I thought I was gonna lose my job. Well, it's like if they fire fired you for this shit, I'll hire you. And I was like, thank God. It was, it was, no, no, no. It was corn.

Oh, that's perfect. That's right. Oh, I was just fighting with their head of security. And why? Oh, I was a long story. They were giving away passes to go on stage for a song and then we were in a Rob Zombie meet and greet so we were late to get to the passes and the guy like physically pushed us out and I don't like to be pushed.

So we've had, but we ended up hanging with them afterwards. Yeah, the band was cool. It was a security guy. What was that guitar player there? Wookie or Wookie? Wookie. Yeah, the band was cool. It was a security guy. What was that guitar player? They're wookie or wookie? Yeah, some like that. He is a stinky fucker. God. Yeah, they all were. Oh my God. He was a stinky guy. Oh, man, that was a great show. And how does DMX open up for that? I don't know. We know that was we saw that was DMX and Lynn Piscott that we saw. Oh, that's right. DMX is a cool dude. He was a true. Yeah. Well, we can't be in a DMX, Lynn Piscott.

We have a good time. We've seen so many fucking shows together. That's the night I'm with beat the shit out of Fred Ders. So if you didn't have that big old bodyguard, I'd be to shit out of that guy. Why? Why? He's on. why? You know what? So I take that back. Lip biscuit. That's my, that's your lemonade. Didn't influence anybody. No, he did. Yeah, he was. Why? What do you do? Kirk Gibson, his wife called me and she, because, you know, we, Kirk and I talked all the time. I mom's going to see uh let biscuit and

who was at lip biscuit DMX lip biscuit and somebody else. Who there was another band and I always gots back. Got smacked. That's right. And and so she goes. So Joanne calls me and she goes, Hey, one of my son's friends is really sick and he's a big

Lebschit fan. She goes, do you think you can get your ticket signed by Fred and send it to him? I'm like, yeah, no problem. Because we always got back to age in Tampa. And so we were back in that room and his dressing room and you know, a lot of stuff going on. So I went over and I said, hey Fred, I say, can you give me a favor? Can you sign this ticket for me? It's for one of my friends, for my friend's friend. He's really sick and he's a big fan. He goes, I don't give a shit.

That's what he said, Gabby, and I was just like, and I was like, what a fucking douche. Yeah, he goes, I don't give a shit. And I was just like, and I was like, what a fucking douche. Yeah, he goes, I don't give a shit, and I was just like, then I just saw red, and I went, and that's, I can big old bodyguard, he was huge, I mean, he made, he made Michael a small, and that's why, that's why he had a bodyguard that doesn't have a lust for him.

You, I would have laid him out, he would have never sang again. Good day, Dave. Dave, guess what? He doesn't have a bodyguard now. Let's go get that fucker. You'll fight him with a punch out. Yeah, and there you go.

What now? That was like one of the shittiest things. I could not say this kid's sick as can be. And he goes, I don't give a shit. And I was just like, wow, what a punk. What an absolute punk. Fucking hell, you know what I mean? I know he's a douche.

I really know he's a douche. Every time we would go out together, people would see me with Dave, they would just assume I was the bodyguard. Yeah, you were. The bodyguard, I go now, and then I go, are you sure? I'm like, I punch him, see if I fucking stop ya.

I'm not. Go hit him, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I open hand and fucking smack some right in the dead center of the back. And the guy turns around like he knows he's gonna kill somebody. He looks and he sees his Dave and he goes, and he goes, Dave goes, I'm not scared, you know why I get your big. My fucking friend, Calhane here would kill you. And then Dave walked away and I'm like, I was leaving. You did that thing so many times. I was really excited about that point. I thought I was pretty sure this was going to go after Mike.

I was like, I would wear a show hammer that night. But I'm a happy drunk. You're a happy drunk and people love you. I remember that night we were in the car and you were fucked up and you go, Hey, you know, who's in town? Let's call Jack Nicholson. I'm going down Jack Nicholson at four o'clock in the world. I just I think it's I think it's I gave a clock when I'm hammered all the time. Yes, it's okay to call anybody.

Hmm. I think those days they're over. No, I whatever. Bring it back. Bring it back. Well, so once in a blue moon, I have a drink to this whole pandemic. I might have a glass of wine here and I see Lexi and David posted all these different bottles of wine

every night on my son of bitches. I've barely been drinking and I went home for three days and we got fucking hammered every night. Like it would be six p.m. and Lexi's like, here's a full vodka martini. Cheese. Very animals. I mean, I want to lose weight so bad,

but it's like, that's why I'm not drinking. Oh yeah, they don't eat. No, not drinking. So I guess I should not eat for two days and then drink. That's what that's the Brian diet is you don't eat at all and you drink one muscle milk and then you drink all night. That's it, that's it. Well, he's got good genes. He can hold a hook in a Cheerio. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, us fat guys, we got to take it easy. Because I kid you not. I gained it was a Friday night and I weighed Monday and I gained, I think it was 12 or 13 pounds Friday Saturday, Sunday. I think it was like 13 pounds. And it took me like six months to lose it. That's like a superpower. Oh, dude, I mean, that's amazing. Talking about going big. Yeah.

Yeah. We can go big. You know what I mean? I had my 15 year old body again. Mm-hmm. I was thinking the other day about how we met. I don't know if you remember, but I I was living in Miami for the summer. It was a summer of 1995 or maybe 1994 and you would just

wait a year to go to the Yankees. That was 1995. Okay, so I'm in Miami packing up my shit and I got CNN on the background and they're doing this piece on Dave And I had heard his name before but I didn't know anything about him and they're like wells who likes to drink and blah blah blah Suppers from the gout when he drinks beer and when we ask wells what happens when the beer will get too much for the gout And they interview wells and wells goes well, then we switch to vodka That guy's fucking great. And then like a couple months later I'm at a bar in Ebor and you roll up with Hans up to the bar and I'm like that's a fucking guy from the TV. I just want one TV. And then we're drinking together. That was great. That was a good friendship because when you

parted from that attitude, that piece of shit and then it it was, you know, then it was, it was all rock and roll then. We've done, you know, to me, when you round certain people, you get bad influences from them. Remember, what was that party that Max and party? Remember, Chase's ass out of there. Yeah. Max and Super Bowl party. Yeah. I'm so, I was always good that one of us was always a little sober to control the other one Because I remember there were time I remember I was I have this thing that I do when I'm really fucking drunk And we're out somewhere as I go in the bathroom and I sit in the stall and I just go to sleep in the stall And I was down that I'm down that oh I was in there passed out and I hear I hear I'm passed the fuck out

I'm not throwing up, but I just passed out and I always something here Just fucking leave me alone. I'll get him and I open my eyes and there's all these security guys in front of me. And Wells is pulling and he goes, I got him. I got him. He picks me up. He carries me out of the building. I was like, oh, one night, the year or so. That'll side. That'll side. That'll side. He carried you.

Well, he fought. Like a baby. I did the leave. He exactly. Oh, that was an easy carry for me. That was an easy carry. But no, the security guard was in there. And he was getting a little pissed off. And I told him, so I got an argument with the guy.

I said, you just get the fuck out of here. I got him. That's my boy. You're not touching him. So we got him. It's all my heart. Yeah, he went ahead. And for a big guy

He can't roll that big. I sometimes my body needs to take a break That's all it doesn't want to quit. It just needs to rest for a little bit But you were in there for like hour and a half. Yeah, I don't know how I can I see us that I make a decision to do it too. I don't pass out. I go. I'm just gonna go to sleep for a while You know what you're smart man. Yeah, Smart man doing that. It's a union break. He always take your Derban times while I'm walking up and I've had to like look off a balcony and try to figure out where it was and how I got there and where my car is and all that stuff. So at least I'm right in the home always safe. There you go. Always got to have a wingman watch watch out for him. Dude, I, I gotta tell you, I hope you come back here because we got, we got some fun now because when you were here, I never

had any money. Now I got a little money and we can do stuff together. I can actually pay for a meal. Now, do you, now do you live out in North Tampa still? No, I live in, in Chavall and Loose. Oh, you do. Yeah. Because we found, we found a place that we want to buy in and guess. Oh, it's right 10 minutes away. I know. We found the property that we want. And I just don't, you know, I don't, I don't want to lose that property because it's a cool property. But, you know, we got to sell this place here first. Are you going to need to set the other day? She goes, she goes, maybe we'll just get it anyways. And I'm like, yeah, like money's growing on trees. What are you? Do you have the

place in Clorida Beach, though? The condo? Yeah, the condo there. Yeah. Fucking live there. Why? How's the need? No, it's just, well, that's for babe. That's the baby. That's a baby house condo. So that's the hack money. But if I sell my house here, then we're or it's easy, but you know, when you're in a big house and in a pandemic, nobody want to buy some. True. This place is still there. And they came in. They want to buy all this. I think going, this is all going with me. Well, you can come here and stay in the you can come here and stay in the Bobby Kelly suite if you'd like whenever you like. Dave, Dave, Dave, get a house with a guest house.

I'll just live with Dave, Mike. That's fine. A little. I'll take care of your pool, whatever you need. Well, me and you, I don't drink. I'm sober for a long time, but I can eat. We'll go fucking eat. Can you guard? I'll get. Look at me. Of course, I've got drink. I'm sober for a long time, but I can eat. We'll go fucking eat Can you garden? I'll get it. Look at me. Of course. I'll go and I'll bring mush with me. He can garden

No, man. You probably become vegetarian and eat all my plants Me vegetarian today. I ate a whole stick of salami last night by myself Is that the metabolic diet? Yeah, exactly. You're going to have some venous and sausage. I told Mike if you cut my calf open, it looks like a soprosada. A little spicy. Hey, Bobby, have you ever had, have had ever had duck sausage? Oh, no, but it sounds beautiful. Duck on down here, motherfucker. You know, my joke. Can we come to the ranch and kill someone?

Comedian. Can we come to the ranch and kill something one day? Yeah, whatever. I want to come to November. September, I got to go to, I'm going to New Mexico for help. And then October, I'm going to Alaska for moose. And then November, I got, I'm wide open November to December. I want to kill a pig. Those are. Kill yourself.

Yeah, but man, they're so good. Yeah, I want to kill a pig, man. I want to kill a pig. Those are killer. Yes, but man, they're so good. Yeah, I want to kill a pig, man. I want to kill a wild boar. That you do down here. That's the one thing I've shot so far as a wild boar. I don't want to kill a deer. Take it to out back and have him smoke it for you. Oh, dude, I'm a smoker now.

I got a big green egg. I cook everything. I do too. I got the trigger. Oh, it's a great semi- you're good. You're good. Your dad has a bunch of deer in the back of his property. Oh, yeah, you could shoot them off

our porch. I don't want to shoot you. You're too cute. I got the idea. I don't want to get. I don't want to. They're rats here. They're rats in New Jersey. I don't want to eat a Jersey deer. I want to taste like they taste like

cigarettes. I Leave in the morning and it's like a it's like a pancake. It's like a fake lawn I got a family of deer they eat the grass. They look at me and I go high and then they go right back to eat And they don't even move my parents shoot BB guns at them at the deer. Yeah, get them away. That's for me Can you dress it? That's funny. Oh, no, I'm putting an arrow in them. I'm with them. They're going to be on back straps. They're going to be right on the on the grill. Can you dress it? I do everything. Yeah. I don't know how to.

I got to learn how to do that. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I may need to gut her first deer. She hunts. She's big. She bow hunts and she will not touch it. She'll go out there, take a picture with it and then this will go. Yes. Got it clean it, skin it, do whatever. So last year I finally got her to

get her hands bloody. She finally did it. Oh my god. Meena. I'm out of feel just pretty. It's it's it's pretty simple. What you do again, it's I grind a bite. It's pretty self. I have a childhood memory, like a traumatic memory of my dad stripping a deer in front of and making us all watch. I'm sure there wasn't a fat man. It was a fat middle aged fan. There was a fat fan. The face boogs off hers. He's had the living room.

You have to cut off her leather pants because she's like kept him on. No, it's it's that's the fun about about hunting. You get there, you get the harvest it, you know, and then it's just all the little details. And then you cut it up, you quartered up, and then you, I had a grinder, I made my own burger, you know, my own cuts and all that stuff. I got, I bring about five, six hundred pounds of emissive home every year

You should see us in the airport So large Nina Brandon and I so we each get two Coolers each And it's classic. I mean, we're rolling down the airport with eight coolers all of medicine It's pretty awesome. It's pretty awesome. And we go through every year, but a lot of it, I, you know, about 200 pounds of it I do for my golf event. So I do Venison tacos on the golf course for everybody. So it's pretty cool. Nelson, do your chubby friends in Florida?

Well, I'll just bring someone to come back. Do it it if I can get on a plane to come back to Florida. I do it right now All right, well do it If you want to house Come on down Thing is I mean, it's not hot. You but like it is in Florida's, you know, it's not hot and humid like it is in Florida. It's 72 and sunny almost every day. We got a little bit of a migray, but that's at hovers over the five. The five I-5 to the ocean is migray, but east of the I-5 is the desert, and it's just like Jesus Christ. But it's good for us if you want to get your can on but you know at least you're not

The humidity is nowhere near Florida or even the whole east coast. That's what sucks about these coasts of Dude, that's great to catch up with you. Yeah, they're quite great to meet you man. Great to talk to you. I heard so much great shit about this. We got to go. He's the one he's going to get in the show. Listen, I have a baby shower to go to. Yeah, I'm sick to my stomach right now. Yes, I fucking Rachel fine Rachel find students having a baby shower. She wants you. Is she having a baby? Uh, yes, she's having a baby. Yes. So I have to go to a baby shower.

I supposed to be there on 20. I don't even know what the final even. I'm a guy. I, I don't, whatever. Yeah, but that's a comic baby shower. You're just going to be fucking wrote. It's going to be this. You know what's weird.

Is that picture you showed the other day on Instagram or whatever it was, Gabby, you were the the big I thought you had a baby I'm like Nina the Gabby just had I didn't know so many people so many people call me yeah yeah so funny I do that too I was like she had a fucking baby and nobody told me this I know and I saw a video like about a month ago and she's, you and, uh, is that who's the other, is that your boyfriend? Is that my gay roommate? Okay. So anyway, you guys would do something and then you were pregnant. I'm like, now she has a baby. I don't, I'm confused.

I almost called your dad. I'm like, what the fuck dude? Why don't you tell me she's pregnant? No, that's a union baby. She goes, no, that's for her show. She's a baby mom. I had, no, that's for her show. She's baby. I'm on her show. I'm like, I gave full birth. How was that? No epidural? No epidural. Just a nice fat check. No vaginal C section. No pain. No scars. No scar. Well, hey, have fun at your fucking baby shower. No, don't.

I mean, what the fuck am I gonna do? Go baby jokes. Yeah, tell dead baby jokes. Oh, that's gonna fly, Gabby. No, take off all your clothes and come into this scene. And look like a baby. Look like a baby wear a diaper. Oh, yeah. and come into this and look like a baby. Look like a baby wear a diaper.

Oh yeah, put a diaper on and then shake while your head's already shaved and they have a bottle with those glasses on. Yeah, I got to keep the glasses on. A diaper and a bottle. I look like baby boss. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

Yeah. That was great. He wishes her a baby. He's like a baby who grew up. He wishes her's a baby. Who grew up? Yeah. Wishes there, baby's born with those sexy lips. Hey, my, he quiet. No.

Oh, that makes me happy that he fucking gets munches vibe right away. He's spawning right now. He's spawning. Yeah. Dave, what are you got. What are you got, Dave? You got a podcast, you got anything we can check out? What are you doing? Radio TV? What are you doing? You're doing anything we can go check on in on you?

I ain't doing shit. I'm not Twitter talk to all the fans. Twitter, the fan I'm doing. I do the Instagram more, more so the Twitter because what I've been doing is like since I've been going through all this crap I'm finding stuff and an abundance of it. So I'm I'm signing it all. I'm I posted on Twitter through my foundation and then I've been I've been given money to the first responders in New York here in San Diego so helping out the first responders. What's the handle? What's that? Oh, it's it's boomer wells 33. That's your handle.

Yeah. I got a handle. A bunch of handles over there. Oh, get sent some to me. I got so much. Let me know when you find a Datejust Rolex with a Jubilee bracelet and a fluted bezel. A skin fluted bezel. There you go. I think it's brother don't grow. Okay, you got motion on that one till he finally fucking showed an emotion. You had to go blue, Dave. That's what you had to do. You

go blue. Gabby, you got so much shit. You got a movie. You got your show. You got your biggest thing is I just started a Patreon. So sign up for my patreon.com slash unabashed and listen to unabashed podcasts and follow me on Instagram and Twitter, which is at Gabby is Brian. Gabby is Brian. And of course, my caltham, caltham show, my Mr. Caltham show every day,

the hottest show in Florida, number one show in Florida, and my number one best friend. At Caltham, Kelly on Instagram. At Caltham, Kelly on Facebook. That's right. New lovers. You got a new lovers. I have things. Listen when I had to replace you with somebody. Yeah. Wow. That's dark. I also

go because they're big guys and they can't penetrate. Yeah. It's difficult. Now I know why you're mad at me that I shaved my goatee because now I don't look like Dave. Don't look like Dave. I can always shave it. It's great anyway. So I'll grow it back for you. All right, Bubbala. All right, I'll rub it.

Mush, what do you got besides a shitty disposition? Add Mike. As far as I'm in serum. Yep. There you go, man. The mush. Dave, it was great talking to you. Patreon, thanks for listening.

This has been a great fucking show. I can't believe we got Dave. I'm so happy that everybody knows each other. And now I love you. Love you too. I'll hopefully back on soon. We'll see you guys next time. And you know what, dude?

We'll see you later.