Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Being Vulnerable

Episode Date: January 30, 2012

Robert and Joe sit down with Matt from The LaughButton and Chris from The Syndicate.   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night! ¡Gun fireballs! Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. Hoy el show es abierto a la gente. Puedes visitar a podcas.com por el WD para su frío audio-book.

¿Qué es, Chris? Y esto es Matt. ¿Dónde la pésita? ¡Puedes encargarle! ¡No, no, no! for your free audio book download. Hey, this is Chris. And this is Matt from the left button. I already fucked it up. Go, you just go. And peace of shit. Just go, you fucking cuckstack. Hey, this is Chris.

And this is Matt from the left button. And I'm from this indicate. And you're listening to... You know what, you know what, you... You know what, you... You know what, you know what, you... You know what, you... You know what, you... You know what, you... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM RightCast.com. You know what dude on myCast.com. I got a special announcement for all you New York City fans of the You Know What To

Podcast Wednesday February 8th at 9.30pm presented presented by last but live. We will be live at Gotham Comedy Club. You know what dude podcast goes live hosted by me Robert Kelly along with Joe Derosa and special guest. Bonnie McFarlane from the My wife hates me podcast and more. So come down and watch us do a

stand up and then do the you know what did podcast where Gotham Comedy Club? When Wednesday February 8th, what time 930 p.m. doors open at 830? To get tickets go to Gotham Comedy Club.com Hey phones face down in the middle Joe come on Maddie beats powering down Maddie beats no power down leave it on okay, you gotta leave it on Yes, right and it's a game. We're doing so whoever buzzes. I'm what happens. I haven't explained it yet You what happens? I'm fucking control issues that you can't just play along with some called were grownups and what a guy starts You're not a pro now. You're like all day playing video games. No, I did it

I've been writing a script for you all day as you should yeah, yeah, well, I'm a thank you truth comes out I'm about thank you that I'm submitting two different shows scripts and ideas to a puzzle for both of us to try to do Can you not can you breathe in between there? Two I got a couple yeah, I'm speaking to mine are fully written going? Two. I got a couple. Yeah, I'm speaking two. Mine are fully written going in. Good. I have a question. Yeah. You want to, you hang on one second.

Do me a favor. Please, before I introduce everybody, can you patch on the back? No. I don't have a pattern on the back. Pat them on the back. That's it. That's it.

That's it. We'll get to the the the the the fact that I don't care. Take me out. Take me out of two scripts. You're up. Good. Out. Out. It's on. I want because you know they listen to this apostle. You're listening. Take me out. We're not even recording yet.

That we are. You're just such a sneak. You just start recording. That we are. Hi you guys. You guys you guys welcome Oh an episode fucking I don't know an episode of all Jenga yet don't ever talk during the intro you know Everybody You wanted a big Lex free for all podcast, but you got it Welcome aboard welcome to you know what dude podcast with me Joe de Rosa and the boys from laugh button live in the syndicate

Matt and Chris What's going on guys? How you doing hey, buddy and you are from the syndicate you got's correct and you yes are from laugh button life the left button the left the left the left button the left button. Sorry, the left button. The left button. I actually brought it as the left button. Well, left button is when we do live shows. So it is a left button.

Really? Yes. You're not incorrect. Fancy. So, yeah, we got an open source to be here today. I'm going to try. I'm really. I just got out of therapy, Joe.

And I'm going to stop. I'm going to be vulnerable right now. Okay. I'm going to'm gonna stop I'm gonna be vulnerable right now, okay? I'm gonna be fucking vulnerable. Okay, so let me be vulnerable But don't you dare I'm taking my armor off. Okay, I'm putting my sword down. I'm taking my helmet off Joe And I'm getting off my horse. Okay, all right. Yes, I want this podcast to be a little more Loving little more loving. A little more understanding. You're gonna tell me, I'm one getting shit

for the last two weeks. You're saying that to me as if I'm coming in. Okay, wait, no, let's go. Okay, wait. I'm gonna refresh your memory. I'm still off my horse. Okay. I don't have my armor,

but I'm gonna refresh your memory. Right. Three weeks ago. Yes We were in the podcast and you would be in a fucking cunt the name of the podcast was Joe the cunt Because and I said you want to play the game? I'm in Amen, baby, and you added let's do it and we did it for a couple weeks, right? My arm is off Joe Okay, so let's have, let's have a, a good old, you know what,

dude, Joe, Derosa and Bobby Kelly podcast with the guys from the syndicate and, and laugh button. Right. He laughed button. Yeah. And he got to get some, and no, monster voices in here. Yeah, I know. He's not here.

I know. It's going to be an old school Those are what are you retired? Dude thank god That's why you don't ask him the So that so that's out there so the armors the armors off the armors off now I asked everybody to put their phone in the middle because you said it was a little,

like we talked, it was a little weird last week, there was phones going off, people on stuff. So all the phones in the middle of the table on, so you'll hear them buzz. They have been. But we'll see who can, who can respond to that? Three, somebody's buzzed.

It's somebody. They're face down. They're face down. I'm pretty sure it's mine, because the buzz sounds very close to me. I Three iPhone 4s is how does it sound different than the other two? Oh, iPhones This would be a fun betting game actually Joe almost went for it. Who's following off? It's like three card. I say by the end of the podcast

Joe has the most texts or calls. What do you say? I believe it. I agree. I believe it. Well, you guys both have low self-esteem. I never say. Nothing going on in your career. No, they know not to bother us right now. We're out.

We're at an important shit right now. So you guys are actually here. I mean, most people will be like, who the fuck are these guys? Because you're not comedians. Yeah, I question them. We're certainly not funny. Well, when you do impressions, you're fucking terrible. How was Monster Voice again?

Well, I'm retarded Monster Voice. And he's sucking a cock now too. That's terrible. That was terrible. We lost respect for him a little bit. I'm going to do Monster Voice. This is what I want to do. So people who are listening.

Sure. Thousands. 10,000. We're back, Joe. We're back, Joe. We're back, Joe. I know. This is how it used to be.

This is how it used to be. This is how it used to be. Yeah. I say the wrong lyrics, but I say it with you. It's fun. It's fun again. Yeah. I fucking love you.

Damn. Damn. He's ruined again. I fucking love you. Dan. Dan is ruined it. Dan. What? So let's do this. So yes. And you're going to hear Chucklehead over here the entire time. The laugh you can shut down the podcast.

It didn't. No. Really? It didn't shut down the podcast. It didn't shut down the podcast. Dan really ruined the podcast. He's bad luck. He's a mush Let's just his face His face is mushed in the flattest face ever. I told him I go he has fucking he has the same face people in the hampture have on their license plate

The old man in the mountain I met now. It's just a flat side of a mountain. He should. The drunk is just face down the fucking street somewhere on his get us tour. Nothing would make me happy if he gets a D, a D, W, I on the get us tour. Oh, I'd love it. He's fucking, he's driving the Guinness truck from the ancient shit face gets pulled all over thrown in the slammer. I love it. Guinness gets sued for a million. But he has to hit a baby carriage. Yeah. He's driving it. He's driving it like the way Pesci drives the truck in goodfellas. What they said? He'd be carrying. And he hits a fucking baby carriage like the beginning of Bella Hills Cop.

We've got a homeless guy with the cans and the baby just goes flying out like that. We're in Santa Barbara. We're in Santa Barbara. We're in Santa Barbara. We're in Santa Barbara. We're in Santa Barbara. But the baby doesn't get. That's actually even better one because he didn't have to fucking make it a baby carriage. I had a

homeless guy with cans. You found a movie with an actual baby. They were just cans. They were just cans. It's my terrible impression. I'm gonna do this really quick. I'm gonna point to you. I'm gonna point to you and then when I point to you, I want you to let the people know who you are, what you do, and that's it. So I don't know what you want. I'm gonna point to you, I want you to let the people know who you are, what you do, and that's it. So I don't know what you want, I'm going to point to, I'm going to point to, and that you just go into it, who you are, give it to your bio so people listen to know the fuck

you are and why you're here. I'm going to tell them why you're here, but you just tell them why you are. Ready, go. All right, my name is Chris Ellis from a company called The Syndicate. I'm a co-owner there. Talking to Mike Chris. I'm talking to Mike. Can you not hear me? We're not on a bus, you cock suck there. Talking to the Mike Chris. I'm talking to Mike. Can you not hear me?

We're not on a bus, you cock suck up. That's the Mike you gave us, by the way. Talking to your Mike. What's his love? Got your Chris Ellis. Yes. And I'm a co-owner of the company called the syndicate, based out of Wehawk in New Jersey.

Yeah. And we do a lot of entertainment marketing in the music and comedy space. Yeah. Okay, go. I'm mad I also work at the syndicate, but I also run the and comedy space. Yeah, okay, go. I'm mad I also work at the syndicate, but I also run the laugh button dot com, which is a comedy website, right? And what does that do? We talk about comedy, okay? That's what you want.

Six one blue eyes. If there was a contest faster than I want to be, Chris, he won't hear you are just a bear. You are very burly. Chris are. It's a bear. It's the beard. It's the beard. Very burly. You are. Chris is definitely an old twink like he used to be a twink. Yeah.

You're definitely just a full-fledged young bear. If you were, you know, if you should have the cat. You should carry an axe and a cock. You know him so well. Yeah, you're to share it. Let's do this. He'd be the bossy, you'd be the bossy neat one in the relationship. You're the red head on modern family.

Oh, he's on cams out there. At least we have an Asian kid. We're happy about that. Yeah, you'd like come home. You'd always come on a bad mood, too. Cute little girl. How many, you're like, when you're over the over the how many times have to tell you not to leave this fucking bike by the Torx like that's how you come in every fucking who ripped the screen who ripped the fucking screen door Then he and then you would just go, come here. Come on. I made I made ribs

here. Come on. I made ribs. But he tried to fight you like legitimately pull away as a man, but you're too powerful. So you go, I'm scared. You can't fuck over here. And you grind him into your chest. You, you, you alpha male in a very cute way. See, I, I don't think he, I don't think he'd alpha. I think even though he's bigger and stronger, like he would slap him and he would cry. And you know, he'd just be like one of those amasculated bears. I think he was right on this. Yeah, but here's a deal.

He would do that, but he doesn't know his own strengths. So when he went and punched the wall, it would come off. Like a re-talk. Like, what would you make me do? Oh, no, I've re-talked him. Get out of the bad end, said. No, I could say like how I retire. Like my cement area, he doesn't know his strength

and he kills the bunny by accident. Yeah, yeah, you kill anybody kill a bunny though But by accident because he pets it too hard Yeah, and she was choking it. I was trying to get the bunny to blow him in his pants. You didn't know that No, he's easy. Did you read the book? No Just a clip. No, it's a got him through. It's all good So you guys are here basically We announced it last week on the podcast Just the clip. Just the clip. Just the clip. No, it's a got him through. It's all good. So, you guys are here.

Basically, we announced it last week on the podcast that we're doing a live. A live show, the podcast is going live at Gotham Comedy Club February 8th, presented by the... Left button live. Left button live. Correct. And the... Syndicate.

Right. They're actually putting it on with Gotham Comedy Club. And the, send the kid, right. They're actually putting on with Gotham Comedy Club. We're gonna be doing a live. And here's a deal. Here's how it works. It's gonna be stand up though. I know a lot of these podcasts come out. They just do the podcast.

They talk to the people. It's funny that I love them. It's great. We're gonna do stand up though. I think people come to actually, people that don't know Joe stand up, maybe just know him from the podcast. I think it'll be a good thing to see him do a stand up that he kills it on stage. And we're going to have Bonnie McFarlane. She's going to be doing stand up from the, my wife hates me podcast, which is fucking on riot cast, by the way.

I don't know why I said fucking in between those words. I think you said fucking. And then Rich Voss can't be there. So we're actually having Bob DeBono, who does the most amazing Rich Voss impression will be filling in playing the role of Rich Voss. Perfect. Doing a 10 minute stand-up routine

and being on the podcast as Bonnie Suzman Rich Voss. So it's kind of Bonnie feel about that by the way. It doesn't matter. Sorry, I'm sorry. How does she feel about being married to Voss? Probably miserable. Fucking regretful. Suercile.

Bob is the Voss. She's always wanted where it could stop being Voss. Eventually. He would take cut it out and he can. And then he would just be be like I'm sorry, buddy Who would you like to do today just turn it to a regular guy? Bob the actual Bob is a very interesting guy too because he's got OCD like real fucking I want to get him on the podcast Mm-hmm because he's got legitimate fucking has to you know turn the knob flick the light washes hands kick the tub

Yeah, check the stove before he leaves the phone house. I think he's got a good case of it. It's funny, man. The ones from when he was a kid are really funny. Like what? Explanate. One of them, he said he used to have to run.

It's already funny. I know. It's already funny. Well, you have to run somewhere. Stop right there. Good enough. When he got into bed at night He had to get in the bed in a specific way

Yeah, so he would have to run and jump into his bed and land exactly the specific way to if you didn't do it right He had to keep doing it over and over He said his dad would come in and be like what the fuck are you doing in here? What the fuck is all this bang? It you know because his dad didn't know what's going, because he just kept running and leaping into his bed. So, he was one of the funniest OCD things I ever heard of. Like, that's not what is so crazy. What about the one I told you about with the kid?

Anytime you point something at the kid's face, he'd moutlet open and go, aww. And if you play the run and go aww, aww. So, a friend of mine, he was a head of friend, he was a head of friend, who told me so he was a teacher, and he'd walk by the kid and he'd take a pen out in the class, and he'd just point the pen at the kid's mouth

and he'd go aww, and then he'd make circles with the pen that can just go aww aww aww. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Really funny. It's really funny. I love it. Oh, see D man. It's fucking brutal. It's brutal. Do you have is anybody here? Before we get into this I want to know my wife my wife claims that I have a little bit. I still disagree Really what is she what is she what is she say she has? Fixing your hair It is nicely quaffed you You do, you have great hair. Yeah, great hair or great hair. You look like, can I just say something to you

that I'm telling you what? You look like my real dad in a weird way. You have the same, that's not good. No, it's not good. All that's gonna stir things up throughout the podcast. Listen, we said we're gonna have a good, no, I know, I'm saying, we're saying for you, you probably don't want to sit look at a guy looks like you're real dad right? Your dad call you is that Bob? What is your dad call you? He has a robber in fucking 15 years. Yeah

Well, okay. What did he call you though? What I know it's okay. He don't want to talk about it before I'm here I'm talking about it. My dad I haven't talked to him in a while mean, my dad, and it's weird because when we stopped talking, we were really cool. Like I really, my real dad, we were friends, more so than father and son. He was a real cool guy, but you know, we kind of, he got pissed about some shit at my sister or son. He got mad that we weren't, remember his birthday or we called him for shit or you know What I don't know he felt like we were using him or something. I don't know some weird shit Hmm which yeah, we were using him as a dad

Okay, yeah, we needed like my sister might have needed a kidney because she was gonna die right So you had to go in and get maybe you were her father, biologically, you have her fucking jeans. So you might have to go and give a kidney. At least go get checked out, sorry. Sorry, that's the way it goes in life, that you fuck somebody, your gizz went into into an egg, and you created a life. Yeah. And that life needed something.

Right. And then as far as me, he was cool with me. I mean, he, look, he gave me a grand to move to New York, okay? Nobody knows this. My mother didn't give me money. Well, they do now.

Yeah, I was probably telling them. It's not a breaking story either, but it's, I was what I'm telling him. It's not a breaking story either, but it's, uh, huh. I know how the podcast works. I know how to, I set the mics up. So, uh, I, uh, yeah, he, we were cool, man. He gave me, uh, I remember, he gave me a check for a thousand dollars to go to New York and I was like, I can't take this.

He's like, just take it. I go, I don't know if I can pay you back. Don't worry about it. And he gave me a grant. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have thousand dollars to go to New York and I was like, I can't take this. He's like, just take it. I go, I don't know if I can pay you back. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And he gave me a grand. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been able to move to New York. I get your start, sure.

He gave me a grand and then shortly after that, I think like a year or so after that, something, I got a call from my mom that my sister's gonna fucking die, you know, she needs to get a new kidneys. Right. And I had to go home to get checked and And then he stopped talking or gave a look at letter like y'all as you do is you got You got diagnosed with something too when he went in to get checked

Mm-hmm, he felt like I don't know something with her like she wasn't she didn't give a fuck about it So let me ask you something then is there there anybody else in your life besides your father that I slightly resemble or look like, so I don't have to remind you of him? My aunt Peggy. Okay, perfect. You, the way your cheeks get rosy and you're bearded. Right.

I don't, the rosy cheeks are quite a duet around the office. You, you, you, you really fog with them? Oh yeah, he's got a nickname for the Rosie Cheeks. I don't know what to do. I do. What's your name? What's your name?

What's your name? What's your name? Cot coming. Is that your nickname? No, no, no, no, no. It's what you're going on for years. I know if I wanted to put you on the list. That's fine.

I don't care. Whatever. My nickname. Who's more powerful? You were him. Powerful in what way? Well, he's in the business. You look, he's twice my size.

He's not super-recycle. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're the one that can can make could you fire him if you wanted to I could you could you could this is getting interesting Oh, what's the next damn again? Go ahead the big thing is when when he has to what's your drink? He gets very rose and he's called happy boy really happy boy That's what I call him too. Yeah, that's a good one though some people when they get when they drink too much or they You know they get really they drink too much or they, you know, they get really drunk, they turn arrogant or angry or like, you don't want to be around that type of person.

Yeah, I'm kind of, Joe's nodding his head like, yes, yes, sounds all too familiar like Tuesday night. Later today. I'm the opposite. I get very happy and cheery. Joe, and I'm saying this with my armor off. And I mean this, I love it.

Yeah, I was saying the dead thing out of love. I wasn't saying this with my, I love. You look like my grandfather. Right now? Yes. Why? You have the whole family free here. Your energy right now is if I invited my grandfather

on this podcast, he'd have the same shit energy. Shit energy? Yeah, like you, you look, you're tired, your eyes are tired. I haven't been sleeping well. Yeah, you don't look good. And your arms are crossed, you're holding your tits, you got a cardigan on.

My grandfather used to wear cardigans all the time. I've worked this card. You've got those wooden shoes. I like this cardigan. I haven't been sleeping well. I've been staying up late writing, and I'm not sleeping well. Writing shows for me. I haven't been sleeping well. I've been staying up late writing and I'm not sleeping well. Writing shows for me. I've been writing these scripts. Well, it was a very late last night. We're working on another script.

Right. No, I, yeah, I finished the one, the, the Bobby and I have the same management. So we're trying to sell TV ideas together. But Joe's writing scripts without me. Like I'm a writer too. Yeah. I write, but he's writing scripts without me for I'm a writer too. Yeah, I write but he's writing scripts without me Well for me not asking for my input well the reason I wanted to do that was to get all the accolades and not have me That's why he wants to hand shit and then go I did this for FATSO Taking the credit. We have a new armor off, man. Jesus. I took it in the car. We're my shield up.

Got it in the yellow today. No yelling on the podcast. I- Now that you slipped your digs in. Okay. I apologize. I apologize. I wasn't, there was some words.

What I wanted to do was create something, because Bobby has been a good friend to me, and we've worked on a lot of stuff together but he's brought me in on this podcast and given me a lot of exposure and he's been very supportive to me of me at the comedy seller and places like that and whatever and spoken a lot of good stuff about me and it's helped me a lot and as a thank you I knew I could write something quickly if I put my mind down to it and lock myself in and I said I want to just create one or two things for me and you let me just bang them out and then all you gotta do is read it and tell me if you want to be a part of it and if you do you're fucking there you go you know we'll go do it together. If I read it and I want to make some changes. Well then I don't know that might be a different story. Well I wrote it.

See that's not the part of doing something together. We're supposed to work together so I don't have to go through the process that you know having somebody else go do this that way or this way we do it together like the movie like the book like the the show, we did it all together. Well, I also said too though, I also said to, oh, FX show, we never mentioned that before on the, it's done. That's done.

That was the secret project. The secret project. There you go. For all you fans, we were writing, damn. Wow. That's a big moment, Dan. You left that out. That's a big moment. That's a big moment.

You just revealed the secret project after a year. A year. A year. All right, the secret project is we were hired by FX to write a show. Yes. I'm going to exclusive with this on the left button, by the way. That's fine. We wrote a show.

And it didn't get picked up. It was a long process. It was very funny. We had a very and it didn't get picked up. It was a long process. It was very funny. We had a very good relationship with FX. They're really cool people. It didn't get picked up. They loved it. It was a great idea.

They loved it. They love us. They still do. We're probably going to do something else with them. But the show that we came up with didn't make it through all the fucking chambers. So we still got the show that we came up with didn't didn't make it through all the fucking chambers. So hopefully we still got the show. We might we might present it somewhere else.

It's really good, really funny. And now we're just on onward and upward. Yeah, I would hope that we have the chance again to give them another idea. Yeah, we'll die. That's a fucking look. I love everybody over that fact. Yeah, they're great. And they love us.

Yeah, we built a good relationship. And you know, we're going to come in and promote it with you. So we're on the team. Yeah, they're great. And they love us. Yeah, we built a good relationship. And you know, we're going to come in and promote it with you. So we're on the team. So anyway, that was the secret project. And but when I started writing these, yeah, of course I wanted to, there's a, there's the selfish motive in this gesture or whatever is that, you know, for somebody who has a very heavy interest in writing and directing, I wanted to write some things

where I could say, I wrote this by myself. And so I have a writing sample and I can direct this and whatever. But here's the thing, I also said to you that I was 100% into doing a collaborative thing. And I have to do something collaborative. Because Joe, I'm saying it like that. I'm gonna I put my my hat back I gotta take my hat off I apologize

He's referring to you Joe not the other On and off of the hat. It doesn't work like that. You leave it off for your dough Look dude, sometimes you get scared and you put your hat back on I I'm not I'm mines off mine hasn't gone back on once You have no reason to be scared. No, it's good. It doesn't fit. I'll, we need to do, which is great. Yeah, just for television. You guys have already written things together. Well, we have the still the movie we get to finish.

Yeah, 100%. 100%. That's, I said that from the jump. And also you have your script that you wrote on your own that you said I'd like you to be this guy in this. On the, you had another thing that you showed me a couple months back. Oh yeah, yeah, we actually met with that yesterday.

We had some very interesting stuff going on with that too, so hopefully that works out. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you. It's the best part about it. As I've got, you got a bunch of shit going on. We're both fucking working our asses off. We're not just sitting here. Let me look, we got the book, we got the podcast,

we got our dates, and there's a lot of people doing shit too. This is the weird part about this business. There's a shitload of people really in the limelight right now. I mean, you got pilots or shows that are right there. Yes. When you get to this point where, you know, you got your shows,

you got your things that are cool. It's what you do with that other three hours of the day or four hours that you have. Like you're writing scripts. I'm working on this other idea. We're constantly fucking coming up with even the live show that we're going to do with you guys. That's another something else created that we're going to do for the fans to just get some other. Because you never know what that one thing is. It could be the show you wrote that could just blow the fuck up It could be something we work on collaborative or the thing I'm thinking of the podcast who knows what the fuck

It's gonna be but I love that we're both We're both you have to be doing a billion things you have to be that way every you know look in a perfect world You know I think in a perfect You know, look in a perfect world, you know, I think in a perfect world. Good job, she's singing. That's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song.

It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song.

It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. It's not a real song. Yeah, so I thought you were a true from the little mermaid. How about this song? How about this song? Losing weight my name is Bobby K and I

Losing weight Losing weight Every day I'm not eating Losing weight So I sang it. Thanks. I did. I saw it. I, uh, I don't even know what he was talking about. Can I just say something?

I hope people who listen to this podcast. I hope that's stuck in your head all day. I hope you're walking around your office and I was on lose and wait. Pop's out of your mouth and someone goes, what the fuck is that? And you're like, fucking Kelly. Lose and wait. Fuck it, Kelly. Oh, I got it. No, I was just going to say, like, in a perfect world.

And look, you guys are the left button, guys. You're in the position where you're pretty much doing what I'm about to say. We always we could do, which is everybody wants to do that tray parker matchstone thing where you, where something pops immediately and, and, and you get to work with your best friend on every project. Now realistically for most people in the business, it doesn't happen like that because unless you sell that major thing fairly early on or whatever, or not even fairly early on, but you

got to sell that major thing first and then go, okay, we're gonna rick your Vase Steve merchant this and just keep doing stuff together. Until that happens, I think you have to keep creating collaboratively and independently, because otherwise then, you are in a way locked, if you don't do independent stuff, then you're just locked to all the collaborative efforts, and then you can't do any work while the other guy isn't around.

And then you're just sitting there wasting time going, like Bobby said, resting on this other thing. Well, that's going on already, so I don't need to do anything else. And it's like, last night, I got this idea for you, this other idea for you and me, I got it at like 2 a.m. and I was like, fuck, I think, well, you know what? I got an idea. And I just sat up for 4 a.m. writing. All right, all right, listen, listen, listen guys. Really quick, Joe, I want to announce this to you

that we're gonna be doing, this is our first ever sponsor of the show. Really? First ever. I didn't know that happened. Congrats, yes. We, uh, audible is a sponsor of the show. I don't know if you've people have gone here before, but I've been to audible. I go there.

I check out a lot of their books. This is the best part. You can go and get a free download. If you listen to this podcast and you use audiblepodcast.com forward slash YKWD and you get a free audible download. So go to audible and check this out. I actually got Steve Jobs, which is a great unbelievable work. It's great. If you don't want to carry around these books, I mean, these books are heavy. Yeah, the jobs book is thick. Yeah, it's really thick. It's a great place to go.

Again, you can listen whenever and wherever you want, just like this podcast you listen to right now. Audible has over a thousand science and technology, over 1100 science fiction and fantasy titles, with more being added all the time. Audible has over a hundred thousand titles to choose from. Every genre Audible has it covered. So get a free Audible download when you sign up for a free trial. This is a really good deal. So go to audiblepodcast.com forward slash YKWD to get your free audible book today. I'm going. I'm getting it. You're going to get it? Yeah. I'm going to get a Star Wars book if they happen. If they have it. It'll be like listening to a new Star Wars movie. Oh, yes. Such a nerd. Oh god go get a free Audible book download when you sign up for a free trial make sure you go to www.Audible

Podcast dot com forward slash YKWD to get your free audible download boom bang nice Okay, now back to the action. Mm-hmm. We got a fucking sponsor gel. That's amazing. It is yeah It's a real good one. Yeah, you guys know him too. Yeah I've known I've known people that have worked at Audible absolutely great company great company guys got a lot of love out there today It's the future right why read a big lugging book you got a lot of love out there today. It's the future. Why read a big lugging book? You got a lot of love for my story today. Is that something you can count as reading the book? If you've listened to it. Yes, absolutely.

Absolutely. I know people that would argue against that. Well, those people aren't sponsoring us. There's no assholes. Back to the podcast. So I call them assholes. I want to write, maybe that could work. I want to write the idea that we, what the fuck? I'll say it on the air. I know, fuck yeah, I want to write, maybe that could work. I just want to write the idea that we,

what the fuck? I'll say it on the air. I know, fuck yeah, I want to fuck it in. I want to write that idea we came up with, you know, where we have to move together. We have to move to another state. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. That's the fucking idea.

Here's the thing, man, is this, this is the one thing that I've learned in the last year, is that you have to fucking, you have to constantly be working, creating something, because something, even this podcast, I did this podcast. I remember doing it to keep myself up going to gigs, literally talking to myself on my iPhone with my wife's sleep next to me, trying to make it to some gig, just talking to myself on my iPhone with my wife sleeping next to me trying to make it to some gig just talking to nobody like there Was a million people listening. Yeah, sure if you listen to the earlier podcasts. It's me just going yeah, man I don't know a fucking if you know if silver's gonna win that fight

It's like you're open mic diary. Yeah, it's fucking weird to be where it is now That what I mean what you got you got great people around you. I mean, and that helps out. To get real quick, where you're sitting on a table with us. I mean, that's the, not to confuse with laugh button. Look at it. It's the laugh button. You should be the actual mascot for like, you know,

just for laughs, I can only imagine a little fun. It looks like that green guy. No, no, know, uh, just for a little. Only a man. A little fun looks like that green guy. No, no, no, no, no. I was just going to say we should dress mad up like that next year. His cellos looks like Joe. Jesus. You're a debt-s-attacking. I don't know if you're going to attack me.

It's fine. Tell me I look at your grandfather. And my grandfather's a nice guy. You told me you used the word shit energy. I said tired. Shit hired. No no you said he have your shit energy I had my whole my helmet was on mine was off on for a second all right well then you all right that's good off again I'm just on again off before the record no one's touched their phones yet we're

doing pretty good here no somebody's phone is blowing up it's not mine well here you go to from our. From our side, we're big fans of you guys and have been for years. And we've actually worked with you guys independently before you guys came together and started doing this together. But what I'm trying to say is, it's not me. Are you speaking on behalf of?

I'm talking to the podcast. As you're in the middle of the day. Listen, that's what he's saying. Hey. Explain it. Explain it. Explain what you guys do, though, because we have everything to say. I'm kidding. You know, you know this guy listening. explain what you guys do though because we have every bit of

steady. You know, you know, you know, this guy, like, can you explain the faces that I'm making right now? No one cares. Explain. I will just say, wait, wait, before you even say it though. Shit. Too fat guys, the laughing and having fun. And the time you guys walk into a donut store together. Guys, yeah, and you fucking screws are trying to over here. Two friends ain't mixed having fun.

And you fucking screwed just trying to talk business. But no, but before you say, you show the chips. Explain what your company does. So we're a marketing company who gets hired by our company. Nobody gives a shit. All right. And there you go. There you go.

Done. Done. No one knows. No one knows. No one knows. No one knows. You picked up your lance. He?

You hit him with your lance. I got him. You felt for it. I was like, they don't know I'm doing it. He fought his fault for it. Chris, man. Chris, stop. Very low, guys.

Come on. Chris, come on. I'm sorry. I was trying to give you, I'm not giving any more compliments to Joe D anymore. Joe D's off the show Red dog Martin's on ox blood was he fucking chicken that was in the cotton comic books Oh my god, I've been wearing docs for you. Fuck it. Gimli is wearing Gimli Do you know Gimli! That's a new one. Do you know Gimli is? It's a great reference.

Is that the way it is? Is that who cares? Is that the way it is? Is that the way it is? Is that the way it is? Is that the way it is? Is that the way it is? No, that's the way it is.

The way it is, the way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is, the way it is.

The way it is, the way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is, the way it is. The way it is, the way it is. The taking it where we said we wouldn't go We all started it. We got we need to take our He's like I got rookies here. I got yeah, I Chris's face is not red anymore. It's white We need to get their rose back into those roses coming back roses coming back. All right. Let's all stop Let's all stop all right. We're back Now I'm gonna take a little break does anybody want to check their phone real quick?

No. No, no, we gotta do it a little bit. That was a test. That was a fucking test and you all passed. But Joe looked at it. Joe, yeah, Joe looked at it. It's hard putting you in front of you. You know what my mom told me to do,

and I'm doing it and it killed yourself. You know my son died. You find your real parents. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh! Hey, I'm sorry. parents. I love you man. I took it off. I took it off. Go fuck yourself. Dude, I'm back. I'm back. I'm off my horse. Jesus Christ. Fucking talk sucker. Don't stick it in my face like that Joe. No, she, you said it like, you said it like, Jack trippin', I'm fuckin', Mr. Roper. You know what my mom told me, Mr. Furley,

what do you mean, I'm fuckin' Mr. Roper? Yeah, no, Roper. Yeah, I turned it to Cabaret last. Yeah. Oh, then he go, what, not be gay. I get the Roper close up. That close up was the funniest close up in television history

I do it sometimes on stage. I just the fuck with the crowd when I see well Look, I know that something's coming and I know it's gonna get a big laugh and when it gets a big laugh I'll I'll be sideways drinking my water and I'll turn to the crowd go like this I just smile and nod my head and give the Mr. Roper. I mean, nobody gets it. It's just kind of for me, am I right? It's good for you. That's fucking funny. They, they, oh, so she said she goes turn

because I was complaining, I go, I go, I can't, she goes, you gotta relax. You gotta relax. And I was like, I can't relax. I'm like every time I just, even I come down here to visit you guys and I just wanna breathe and the phone is just blowing up with work emails and call, I go, I just can even I come down here to visit you guys and I just wanna breathe and the phone is just blowing up with work emails

and call, I just can't cut everything off. It's just like you should have two hours a day, at least where you shut your phone off, put it on airplane and just shut it off. And I've been doing that and it's like, dude, it gives you such power to go, no, like my soul, or whatever you wanna call it, is worth more than this phone right now,

because this is hard, dude. It's hard leaving your phone sitting there, not looking at it. It's fucking hard. And it's stupid, because it's not, there's nobody emailing me, we need a million, the million dollars is gonna go away if you don't answer right now.

Or are there? I'm not hilarious if that actually happened. I know, I really like it. It would fucking make me happier than anything. If this meant to be Joe, it's Conan. They wanted you for this fucking callback. You had the part, it was up to you and Eddie if they gave it to Eddie because you weren't around.

I'm gonna get steady, I love Eddie. I love Eddie. You know friends are Eddie? I'm friendly with Eddie, I know Eddie. I like Eddie. I tell you it. Ven y vive la emoción de la Navidad con Isema Madrid. Malinche, Guá, Juvenalía, Círclasica, oro viejo, Crismas by Starlight, Brech y muchos más la nabilidad cobra vida con Ifema Madrid. Entre en Ifema.sí compra tu entrada. Ifema Madrid, siente la inspiración. I can't say, because it's going to give him away on something he was like being... He was smashing to me. He was smashing something to me on I am.

And we were like, you know, theoretically. He said it was just a joke. I was like,, don't, he was smashing to me. He was smashing something to me on I am. And we were like, you know, theoretically, it was just racist. No, no, no, it wasn't like that. It was like a work related thing that he was trashing to me, because I was like,

hey, Jim, what are your thoughts on this? He was like, oh, mate, you know, like, oh, Mike, and he just trashed it. And I don't want to blow up his spots. All right. Anyway, all right. You got what these guys? This is a little bit of checking your phone, but I'm actually,

what I'm really trying to do is I'm trying, I just, just to why I'm on the computer. And sometimes I do this. And I hate it because it, that's why I hate doing any, I hate having calls, I hate skyping. We have the ability to go live. I fucking hate it because I have to do it yeah and I I literally get sucked I can't do two things at once but we got a donation from a guy in Australia I can't I

brought my computer down they took out the hard drive I have to reboot my computer and back it up I don't can't get into my PayPal to get the guy's fucking name. He donated a lot of money. I mean, he donated a good chunk of money. It wasn't twice. It wasn't, it was more, it was, it was good money. This guy really, Australia, really. Are we under it here?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, very nice. Get your fucking mitts off it. It's going to a fucking business. Yeah off it. It's going to a fucking Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going on mixes so we can do the live show. I didn't I would appreciate you He's just fucking I saw you face you look at a new shoes Ali and fucking

Definitely he definitely had cloning I want to exaple fucking count He acts like he's doing technical shit of the if you spun that computer around it be a domino's ticker Your pizza just went into the oven Come on fuck you you adopted jokes and you handed me that one And no you dug that out of the ground Motherfucker, but you dug it out of the ground you fucking handed me mine You had a metal detector and had to go to feet down for that one. I lost. I've lost. I know. No fuck you don't

say it like it's not. No, but you're doing it. I beat cancer. I know. Good for you. Dude, I lost just I lost 17 pounds. Oh, God, did you just compare? I can't say. Losing weight to beating cancer? I can't fucking nuts. Listen, you're doing great. I told you last week I thought you were doing great. How do I look?

You look good, dude. What are you doing? I want on South Beach again. South Beach is the only diet that I can actually do because you get to eat. I get to eat, you get to eat. I get it, you get to eat. Just no carbs and no, for two weeks, no sugars with like fruit, carrots, corn, carbs.

How's it different from the acids diet though? Because now I can eat, now fruits come back in and there'll be a day where I can bring in whole wheat carbs back in too. But carbs make me fat. I gained in four months, I get, what'd you say? I know, Carl. I can't.

Yeah, I know, man. Well, you said it, look, I forgot you were fat too. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because you said it like one of these thin twists. You look, I'm not a thin twist. You look me up and down and you go, yeah, I know. That's how, see what you got me, you got me on my toes. Even with another fat guy, I started it.

Yeah, exactly. We're supposed to protect our own man. We're supposed to look out for each other. So to protect our own and eat your own meat. So what are you down? How much are you down, you know what I'm saying? I like 17 pounds in two weeks. Wow, very nice.

But that's the initial water. You know, you can literally carry 30 pounds of shit in your intestinal tract. Sure, and if you clean out your if you Clean that out and naughty crap and take you know Take the musin X whatever the fuck not musin XM. What's the shit? I'm using the musin you clean it all out. You'll lose all that that will just come out of your system. You know shit out Pounds of food that was just in your body. Now you gotta keep it up.

And the water, this is the reason why I quit smoking. It's been five months now, five months without a cigarette. So this the first time I lost weight, since I got sober, I went on a diet then had both those things going. Either a smoke in the losing weight or gaining weight and smoking. Now I quit smoking, done with that. Now, now I'm fucking losing the weight, which would be good. I, I don't think I'm losing anything on this diet,

I'm on, man. My gut is still there. What's the gonna lose, man? It's, this is my, this is my bitch, proc fucking problem that I got, that I can't stand, is I gain weight, I'd rather be like you and Bob where I just get fat Unhivable bend over and touch your toes I have to I have to unhinge my shoulder blades like a fucking cobra jaw

To get the top button on my pants button get a wind and running up a flight It's better you're better when you jet now listen, wardrobe wise, it's a pain in the, no, no, that's actually, no, that's not true. I think mine's more annoying because you guys, you can't get one without shoulders. Sorry, that was unfair. There you go. You guys expand everywhere.

You just gain weight and become bigger guys. I gain weight and I just get it here my neck. And in my gut. We call that the BIS. Yeah, it's like my fucking legs, my arms, nothing else gains weight, my chest. So it's like, it's annoying because what happens is now is I theoretically look thin.

You wouldn't look at me and go, he's fat, you just wouldn't. But, and I'm not fat. But then I put a shirt off right there and know that I fucking hell back. I took the armor off, because there was not, you said, there were like, you look at me, there was nine things that came in my mind. Yeah, you wouldn't say that,

you wouldn't say this. It does, it's not, you understand, it's not taking the armor off. If you go back and say what you could have said Because you pass of aggressive now I've slipped the insult it But I didn't say but I know what you're thinking. No, you don't I knew what you were thinking when I was saying what I was saying that made you think it He's thinking moving target moving target moving target and way I'm not losing way lose and way this is the problem the point we all miss was he's jealous of us

The way that we lose because I gain weight Here's trying to relate the tummy to your whole body Here's what's actually a shirt like what I'm standing up you go you go. Yeah, whatever you look fine And then I sit down Yeah, it's hold it. It's not the helmets back on hold it Yeah, wow hold it. It's not the helmet's back on hold it Hold it curly. I didn't say do you understand that I didn't say you look good? I didn't say that No me you fucking

Sensitive douchebag There it is there it is back. So you didn I did it! Armor, armor, gut, it's Mike Ford, lean Ford. Listen, what I'm saying, I'm saying me. Don't throw the mic out of it. Don't throw it. Don't throw it. Glasses off this time. I'm not going to throw it.

Last week you threw your glasses, you took your glasses through them on the table and swatted the microwave. Oh yeah. I'm done. You gave me a man last week. Last week was a rough one. But this week we get the arm off and we're here. And it's not perfect. It's a new day. It's not perfect. New day. New day. New day. We're good. We're good. There. Here's the point. I didn't say when

you look at me, you go, you look good. I said, you look at me and you would go, if I was like, I'm fat, you would go, no, you're not. And then you said, then I sit down and this pops out. Right. And your shirts don't fit just here in the gut. And that's what you're going to do. The seller one night with a, remember the time you had the white shirt on you pointed, he showed up. And this is why it's happened to me. I've actually shown up in blue sweatpants tight with a baby blue stripe down the side,

literally security guards pants, but there were sweat pants. They smashed me, I went home, and they were brand new, and I threw them out, and my wife was like, what are you doing? I'm going, I go, I went through 45 minutes of every security guard, mall cop, TSA work, I'll fuck these pants. You'll get me pants like this again, I'm dumping you.

He came down one night with a button down white, nice white shirt just buttoned down, but it didn't fit up top, it fit in the middle. Right at that bottom, or as little belly button is, it was screaming for help. And we were, that's the tough one. That's the tough one right there. That's the tough one.

I know. So I gotta like leave the bottom button on time. The bottom, but whatever, to fuck. That's supposed to, that's the tough one. So I gotta like leave the bottom button on time. The bottom, whatever, the fuck. That's supposed to, that's good. It's stylish. But look, today I'm doing it on the sweater because I just like the way it looks. I'm putting down shirt, it looks kinda goofy sometimes.

Sometimes, depends on where the button is. So my point is, I just, all I wanna do is just get rid of this, but I don't think Diding is gonna get rid of this. I think I need to sit up, exercise. No, it's just get rid of this, but I don't think dieting is going to get rid of this. I think I need to sit up. It's not exercise. It's not exercise. No, it's not exercise.

It's not exercise. It's not exercise. Well, I'm dieting, it's not working. Here's the deal. It's not, you're not dieting correctly. What, it's literally mathematics. It's a fucking scientific fact. Scientific.

I say difficult because it's centrifugal. Like, a strategy. It's scientific fact. Sometimes we're going to some shit math here. It's scientific fact that it's just what you put in your body, how much, how many calories. That's it. Weight watches, all the diets are based on what you put in your body, how many calories. That's it. Weight watches all the diets are based on what you put in your body. How many calories?

That's it. You want to lose weight, put less calories in your body, and you'll lose weight. And what you're eating, Joe, what you're eating, you can't just stop eating because your body will go into, hang on, your body will go into starvation mode, especially late at night. Starvation mode. If you, starvation mode, if you, if you're hungry while you're sleeping,

your body will take your fat that you have, especially if being winter out, and it will go, retain it. You have to feed yourself through the night. You have to get a protein drink with that slow absorption protein, with a time absorption protein,

it was a time release protein that you drink at night. So when you go to bed, your body, you'll feed the muscles, okay? It will eat the fat, okay? The muscle will eat the fat because it's actually as food in your body. If you don't have food in your body and you're sleeping,

because you're starving yourself and not eating correctly, your body will store that fat and you'll also plateau. You'll lose a little and then you stay there. Okay, but okay, I don't think I'm starving myself, number one. It's a little faster. You know, I'm eating less. Oh, that was.

I'm eating less because I will eat just to eat. Like, I'll just sit there and eat because I'm bored. So I'm eating less, number one. And I do have to deal with Sometimes going to bed a little bit hungry, so I'm not laying in bed eating. No, you got to eat you got to eat more to lose weight It's weird. You're not to eat before bed Oh, you got to eat smaller portions more frequently. You got to eat my for bed I told you before bed like you get a five almonds you could have a couple piece of cheese

You could have the protein drink that I told you about it. It's five almonds gonna do it's gonna I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been.

I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been.

I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never been. I've never brother. I am full every day. I, this diet aggravates me because I'm full all day. Okay, and it's like, oh, I don't wanna eat anymore, but I have to have something.

So what are you, Snack? This is the thing I'm doing is, I mean, like for breakfast day, eight, eight, and an apple, some cheese and a banana. That's fine, I guess, but you need, in the morning you should, is like a guy like you who's not fat like me and Me, you'd say you

Right Where you have to wake up in the morning and have your your your eggs your protein you need protein? Yeah, you need You can have a little whole week carbs or like oatmeal or something have that in the morning It gets you going then have a snack have some like a little cottage cheese or a little yogurt in between And then have your lunch which is a salad and some more protein then have another snack in between that Which is like nuts again or some type of fruit? That's what I'm doing then have a dinner a nice a nice piece of meat, five, six ounces, and just a vegetable. That's it.

That's what I'm doing. Okay, and then at night you have to have another snack before you go to bed so the your body doesn't go in a starvation mode. Right, this is the exact item doing. For breakfast I have eggs and turkey bacon. I didn't feel like eating it today. I just wasn't in the mood. So today I had fruit and cheese for breakfast.

For lunch I'll have something on whole wheat. What'd you have in between lunch and breakfast? Why eight right before I came over? But what'd you have? Nothing. I ate breakfast. But are you eating between there? No, I might go right so much. You should. No, you should have something in between that. Because what you do to your body then, dude, you switch it up. You get your metabolism working. Like all of a sudden, something's in there. Let's kill this. Let's eat it. Let's use a friend of you, right? What are you laughing at, fatty? I'm just thinking like earlier,

when you're talking about the audience screaming, I don't care. This might be one of those moments. Wow. I'm just thinking the critic. You know what? The critic. Okay, good point.

Cutting it out. Well, you know, 10 minutes of, uh, that he's really, I don't like this. I'm right. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah, he's got a good point. He really does. Well, I don't know.

Do you really care what Joe D'Rosey from breakfast? Are you smoking anymore? I, yeah. You're not smoking. I had one cigarette. Uh oh. I haven't smoked since I was a child. I had a cigarette. I haven't smoked since I was a kid. I had a cigarette the other night, but I was drinking,

and I had perhaps an adult, and another. Yeah, you fucking fingers look like art. I had an adult, and I had an additional substance of some type. And the additional substance made me a little like... Wait a minute, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. What do you mean it's this to those, what do you mean? I had a, I had a, I had a, I had a,

I had a little drug and addition to this. What is that, fuck that, tell me. And my, my, my started, started going and I was like, I need a cigarette to calm the fuck down right now. What is it? Oh Bob, if I wanted to say, I wouldn't have said it on the podcast, God. Come on man, you did drugs, what drugs?

It's just, you know, a little something. What? We did, you did coke. Jesus, you. You did drugs. What drugs? It's just, you know, a little something. What? We didn't. You did cocaine. Jesus. You did cocaine. Nothing. You did cocaine. No. You did heroin. Oh, you did heroin. Yeah. You guys did heroin. I did heroin. He was great. I did do heroin. Why did you do heroin, dude? I don't want you on that. Glad you're off the train. You get a horse to stay. So I need, I mean, I was freaking. I need what fucking drugs I am not gonna say why? Drugs are illegal and I don't need whatever's with the way this fucking business been going with it with these fucking

Comedians policing everybody and everybody Everybody Here we go here we go here we go, Joe. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah. Go ahead, Joe. Let it out. I'm not saying anything. He's fucking. What the fuck are you saying, Joe? That's what I'm saying. What are you saying? Say what you just said. What do you think? He's fucking Cunt Comedians. Say it. I'm not saying I'm not being specific about a legal activity of any kind

because he's fucking Cunt Comedians are ratteness out now and what's already tell them Oh because of the shit they did the day in on the AV Club fucking you know what These were people that I'm like friendly with too and it was really fucking Disappointing to see people you like like TJ Miller alley waller What do his other kid who I to be managed by the same person. The third guy in the fucking article, whatever. I can't remember his name right now. But these are all people I was really, really friendly with.

I knew TJ the least out of the three of them, but it's like, I know Ali. We explain what happened though. You go into the theater, remember that people who listen all over the fucking, remember that people who listen all over the fuck, and they just finish. Don't talk. People all over, listen to this.

We got people all, literally, all over the fucking world. And they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm sorry. I'm backing up. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Listen, here's the thing.

It's at, it was there, there was an article on the AV Club website where comedians, it started with postings on Facebook by TJ Miller about Dane Cooks. Yeah, it was about Dane Cooks performance the night before at the LaFact read. Started while Dane was on stage and he continued the next day. A.B. Club took these, you know, sort of, you know, disparaging posts and did a big article about it. And the whole theme of the article was like, who, where's Dane Cook's head at these days?

And what's going on with Dane? He's finally lost it. He's lost it, it's over. Well, here, and here's what he said, though, so let's just back up. He came in and he bumped people off the show at his home club. Bobby Lee was one of them. Was it as a home?

Was it less of a ref? It was less of a firm. At his home club. Okay. He came to his home club. Bump people off the show. And then he actually did like 45 minutes of new, working on new material. Okay.

Which happens all the time? Chris Rock, Louis, all these guys come down to the cellar all the time, Damon Wains, and they all come down and do, they clean the show, they bump the show, whoever's on stage gets the fuck off and it's the respect of the business, the code of the comic, it's just the where it is, you get off and it sucks. Hang on, let me finish this thought. Put that finger down, because it's fucking respect of the business, the code of the comic. It's just the where it is, you get off, and it sucks.

Hang on, let me finish this thought. Put that finger down, because it's fucking up my thought. Okay. It sucks. It blows. It's not fun to be on a show and to get bumped. But there's nothing you can do. There is one thing you can do, become more famous.

Well, yes, but here's the thing. Here's the thing, everybody. It's good for you. It is one thing you can do. Become more famous. Well, yes, but here's the thing. Here's the thing, everybody, good place. Every difference. Everybody you named, right? And also, people less famous, considerably less famous than all the people you just named, can still bump you.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's like, no, I'm serious though. It's not just a superstar, you know, Dane is very fucking famous. Yeah. He's right up there, like that Chappelle level of famous as a standup. There are all kinds of level of fame

that lead up to that as my point, where those guys can even drop it and go, guys move over, this guy's got to go on, whatever. And you go, okay, whatever, this is just how it is Yeah, this is just how it fucking is now grant there are guys that have a little more saying that or get a little more courtesy where Say people come in and say yeah people look there's certain people You know, I've had people wait Especially at the cell of two because there's a lot of good guys on the first show. And you'll see that certain guys like Rock or whatever, come on the second show,

or right at the end of the first show. And they're always, okay, but look, they're going up no matter what, but here it's not even that would bother me. It's that, that, that, that. Wait, what the bother? That, I get that that bugs people and that. But it's deal with it, though.

That's the business. But I get that they bring it up It's I don't care about that bring it up talk about it. It sucks, right? It's the actual as a comic working on new material in front of a crowd trying to create and you expose that to the general public expose that to the general public and take stuff out of context and use the word misogynistic, start using real dangerous words, words like that against another fellow comedian. Whether you like him or not, we could all do this. We could all go to alternative rooms or big rooms or big shows and take stuff out of context, throw it out on the internet, and use fucking words like that

and make people look bad. We can't do that. It's a fucking... It's a fucking... It sounded like what's happened, actually, too. It's a real shit thing they did. And then it wasn't enough that they did the thing about TJ's posts. Then they go and get quotes from other comedians like Ali

and the other guy who I can't fucking remember Ronnie something No, it's it's driving me nuts that I can't remember this kid's name The computer yeah, the point is is it's like you don't do that You don't fuck you don't fucking do that like Bobby said and Bobby to speak to your point Which I don't know if this is what you're saying but this is how I feel about it. It's like yeah you can bitch about getting bumped into the club. But you bitch about it the way you bitch about the fucking lighting in your office being too harsh or whatever you go, uh god damn it the sucks whatever you

don't fucking make a case out of it in any way. Yeah you don't even make a case of it to the club owner let alone the fucking god damn it You true responsibility It's deal but watch it makes it easier to get that thought from your head to your fingertips But you instead like there's no pausing between that. Yeah, there is there should be absolutely there is absolutely no as a comic You should be I mean look everybody's you know look we have a code in this business yeah first of all you want to go after massaging is to comics yeah I mean there's a lot of women comics you can go after who

a massaging is to up to up to their own fucking kind there's black comics me you know I mean I mean I mean there's a lot of people you can go have to you start throwing that word around It's like what the fuck man, you know, and you have to be able to get to the funny if you can't go into a club on a fucking Tuesday or Monday or Wednesday at a club and fuck off and make mistakes and say shit that it over the line and that hurtful or is wrong or a little racist or something to find where the funny is, you know what I mean? I'm not saying what his name did at the last factory pointing at black people and that's Richard's. Richard's right. Richard's right.

Richard's that's fucked up. That's not fine. But like you know you go up there trying to find the funny, you can't expose that. And the best, you know, that's a great example you bring up because I think it was Shepel. Thank you. When they asked Shepel how he felt about the Michael Richardson, he goes, I believe it's Shepel.

He said, you know what, man? I guess I'm a comic before I'm anything else. And that like was the way he explained how he took that in. He took it first as like how a comic would look at a situation like that. Even then comics weren't going, this disgraceful fucking whatever, it was like comics were just going,

hey, he fucked up man, you know, we can't deny that, but fuck, you know, he's an asshole, but he's an asshole anyways, I heard he was a fucking asshole and he's not a comic. I'm not saying he's gonna stop real quick, not a comic. I'm not saying he's gonna stop. Real quick, not a comic. Actor, going to do comedy to make money. That's a big thing that happened in the last

maybe 10 years of comedy is that comedic actors, their agents and managers said, okay, hey, the show's over. Let's go, keep the next egg. Well, go learn how to do comedy. Go to the club, come up with a fucking 40 minute set. That's all you need. And we'll make you 50,000 a weekend, bro. Right. And then these guys are going out a lot of them. We're going out on the run. They're bombing and people are walking out and going, what the fuck is this? And that hurts us.

Yeah. Guys who are legitimate stand up comics that go around the road and do a legitimate hour. And you laugh, I don't give a fuck, I'll pat myself on the back. You come to one of my shows, I don't care if you don't like me on radio or ONA or you don't like the fucking podcast or you don't like me, you come to one of my shows, you'll fucking laugh. And this is the biggest and that what you just said is truly the heart or the nucleus of what the fucking problem here really is. Hollywood, this industry looks at us as the people that are always gonna be there as the

fucking fallbacks, as the old faithfuls, you can always go back to comedy, you can always pick up comedy, we can always take advantage of a few comedians. And the reason for that is, is that we're not fucking unified, we're not organized, we're the only dipshits out there that don't have a fucking union to protect us, because everybody's too goddamn worried about where their next laugh compliment or $100 is coming from, okay?

And it has fucked us royally. And now these motherfuckers are gonna go Hollywood with, and I say Hollywood not by location, I mean it by mentality, these motherfuckers are gonna go Hollywood with this shit. And do the shit to us to their own people that this fucking industry is doing to us on a regular basis. Are you out of your fucking minds? These people cut our scripts down to nothing. They've bend us over the table on our fucking deals. These club owners and bookers

jip us on our fucking money. They lie to us about the tickets that we sold. They tell us what we can and can't say. They fire us. They treat us like fucking garbage. None of that's ever happened to me. And you, I'm serious. I love all, I mean, I've never been jipped. They never fire me.

But you come on, dude. I'm, look, I've got a great career. I think Joe. I've got it. I just had to break the monotony Joe, because you literally entranced all of us. Because I was making a good point. Oh, you, the tone and the tempo and your fingers,

and your point, it was like an Obama speech. Yeah, it was really good. Fucking said, these fucking little corporate Daniels. I, I want to, I really want to stand up and clap for a second. I really almost ended the podcast. These fucking clowns, guys. If any of you are ever listening, and you know, again, I'm very Daniel Kino, that was the other guy's name.

I'm very friendly with all three of these people. But if any of you happen to hear this, can graduate fucking relations, you sold out your fucking ethics, and you broke the fucking code to get a few more hits on a Google search. That's all you fucking wanted was when somebody types daincookin,

your fucking name comes out. And here's the deal too, is that Billy, Rogan, me, all the fucking big name comics that you think, OP, every, Norton, you, me, all the fucking big name comics that you think, OP, every, Norton, you, I mean, all of us, Dane, you're good, man, we got you. We got you back, you're all together. So it's like, you, you were trying to say,

Dane cooked, finally, it's over. It's, he's not a fucking threat. He's not, he's not, Nobody gives a fuck anymore, man. Yeah, what ever Dane's done, blah, blah, it's a wrap. It's over. And I'm not saying that because I'm friends with Dane. Not he's not, you know what I mean? He's over, you mean.

No, no, no, no. He's over. He's fucking old, it's hacked. Well, don't you think there's just jealousy from other people? Of course. Look, man, look, I'm fucking jealous of it's act. Well, don't you think there's just jealousy from other courts? Look, man, look, I'm fucking jealous of the cock sucker. Okay? I used to do a Bill Rican 99s with the motherfucker for cheese and crackers,

and this twats living in a fucking Japanese fucking palace on the top of the hill with a fucking Lexus. Suck my dick. I'm with you fucking three plus wax at my kitchen table and hell's kitchen. Keep going, that's good. I'm fucking jealous, three plus wax at my kitchen table and hell's kitchen keep going That's good. I'm fucking jealous, but here's a deal is that who it's it's it's you should look I look people I don't I don't sit here and tell people who they should like. I don't sit here and say why you should I get it There's people this actresses. I fucking hate this people. I don't like in this business Not they've done nothing to me.

I just fucking hate their voice. I remember when I first got into AA. I remember I was kinda like the little kid, King of AA, little, you know, I was young. I was like eight, I was 15, but when I started going to the AA, when I got out of rehab, I started going to the same meetings.

But here's this cool, good looking young kid. He's already got three years of sobriety. I started going to the same meetings. But here's this cool, good looking young kid. He's already got three years of sobriety. I'm going to the same meetings. I'm like the little young gunslinger. And I remember I go to meetings and I'd make people laugh and people wanted me to speak. And my sponsor was a big iron worker guy. There was this one guy that fucking hated me.

Treated me like shit, never like, I never did anything to him Never did shit now. He's tried to get him to fucking. I was like, hey, man He blown me off and I went to him. I told my sponsor one day I go just I go this guy fucking what the fuck I've done nothing so he's a dick I've done and he's like it's human nature man. He goes yo everybody in this room You spoke tonight everybody loved you everybody applauded you had Most of the people come up to you and go, you, that speech you gave, changed my life.

That was beautiful. One guy thinks you're a piece of shit. And doesn't like you. And you're ready to throw all that away. Right. It's human nature, absolutely. That not everybody's gonna like you.

That's just the way it is. Nor can you please everybody. Right. You bug that fucking guy. So I get that maybe dain bugs I get it what he does are fine. I bug people people I don't get Why people don't like me? Do you understand like it doesn't make sense can I be honest with you? Yeah, I don't either right

You don't get it. Oh, you don't like me Get it? Oh, you don't like me. Oh, I hate you when I want to be stay away. Yeah, I got that same thing. I'm like, people just don't fucking like me. I've met a lot of people that just don't, I'm like, what the fuck did I do? Yeah, why? You know what I mean?

It's especially doing comedy. It's like, what the fuck did I say or do that you don't like, like, oh, and hey a there's guys that fucking hate. That's the phone. Wow. That was a good thing. They're all like, that was a good place.

They're good. Well, it's, you know, it's, you know, and it's not just by the way, just so everybody gets a fair shake here. It's not just the dain thing either. All right. There was no whole thing at all to me. No, I know, but I'm saying, I'm saying not to come. It's the comic censoring of the comics to me.

But that's what I'm saying. It's like, that wasn't the only story about this. There was the other thing that, and look, Pat and Oswald responded to this story publicly and said, look, I feel that I was wrong and I took it too far, however, this is what set me off. But there was the story that the girl put on her blog about, it was called The Night Patton Oswald,

it was an asshole, and she told this whole story about the girl in the audience, taping Patton, Patton was in some free downtown LA workout room, whatever, and some girls taping him, and he goes, listen, you gotta stop taping me. I'm doing a new special, this is like the opening tent, don't tape this. This is my intellectual property.

Yeah, and she goes, you're're gonna want this you're doing it perfect And he goes no, I already have this chunk on tape to stop taping me Mm-hmm, and he said she goes okay And he goes at all everybody in the room saw was her take the camera and go okay What they didn't see was what I saw was when she looked at her friend and rolled her eyes at me and mouth the word asshole. So then I snap on her, she gets up to leave, I go good go, right? After she's gone, apparently he trashed, she kept trash in her for her looks and whatever, now whatever, that's what happens. We've all been there, we've all fucking been there. This other comic. We've all been to Tennessee.

We've all been to Marko Island, Florida. I love Marko Island. I love the guy. I love his mom. His dad, they have me over from meatballs. I swear him in the pool. I fucking love Marko Island. Off the hook comedy club is a fantastic club. If you're in the area, make sure you stop on down

and get the fish plate and ask for the Joe DeRosa bomb. The Joe DeRosa dead fish plate. Come get it now. It's due to a yo fucking fish. Why's it go the Joe DeRosa plate because it stinks. So so this comic this other comic writes this blog and she tells it the night patent on what was an asshole or something along those lines.

And then she tells all fucking story and goes like, you know, he, I looked up to this guy and he's no longer my hero because to trash someone for their look, she said she was sorry, she did it. Now, regardless, patent responded publicly and said, look, I was wrong for trash like for their looks. She said she was sorry. She did that. Now, regardless, patent responded publicly and said, look, I was wrong for trash like this or whatever. That is actually trash somebody for his looks. That looks as well. She brings it up in the article.

Oh, God, his fucking head. It's just a head. It's just a head. It should be on. It's just he is, he should be able to put his head on the end of a fucking pencil. Oh, come on. He's my friend.

I can nothing against him. Fuck him, take a joke, he's a comic. He's got a big head, I'm fat, you're fucking, you look like shit and naked. So, yeah. Jesus. We're gonna do it. All right, it's on the table, sorry Pat.

It's on the table. I look like shit naked apparently, you got a head, he's got a fucking fat. He's got a big, Pat. It's all the table. I look like shit naked apparently. You got a head. He's gonna fuck up your mat. Big face ahead. Alright, fair enough. So he wrote back a response saying, look, here's where I was wrong. But you didn't see the girl roll her eyes, it set me off,

but still I was wrong for doing that. Now, he's made his peace with it. But what I want to say about it, and I'm not speaking for him obviously, is once again, the only fucking reason that, and she can think she was waving a fucking ethical flag all she wants, she wasn't, you're a dipshit, because all you were trying to fucking do was get hits on your website,

because this is what you want. You want this story to break, which it did a little bit like, laughspin, didn't article about it, you guys covered it so people covered it and all this chick wanted and she fucking got her little wish was the story originated from the barberteen blog or whatever the fucker blogger tumblr don't give a credit on this fucking podcast well I'm just

you know I don't want to fucking you're right you know what dude fucking associated with that I don't want to give, I don't like it. I don't want to give any fucking, look. The lap button does not endorse the, but he's fucking scumbag. It's like if you've got a problem with something that somebody did in front of you or to somebody else. First of all, it didn't involve you directly.

I'm a believer that you keep your fucking mouth shut unless it's some social injustice. You're talking two different things. Can I just stop you right here, Joe? What? I know you're a little heady right now and I admire it. Oh, Fuego. Yeah, and you know, it's fine. You're a little tired, but you're mixing two different things. One is a guy going up. I'm going to go up at my club and I'm gonna do 45 minutes of work some material. He hasn't been on stage in a year. So he's floundering or doing

stuff and taking it too far over the edge blah blah blah blah. And another guy actually fucking accosted verbally attacked somebody right wrong when she wasn't in the room. It doesn't matter.'s verbally attacking somebody uh... for doing something away they look a blah blah right but hang on let me say one is somebody working out material it's the you know the other one is somebody he was mad his emotions hang on his emotions and it and i've been there i've attacked people i've done it but once you started attacking people and they you they they got to you and you start Fucking just saying you're ugly you're this you that that's when people go. I don't get I can understand people

Going he fucking did this, but actually exposing somebody's new material But actually exposing somebody's new material Somebody working on a joke and and and and critiquing it and censoring it and saying it's it's certain Negative negative words about it is totally different than somebody going once you say Fuck you you con you're done the gloves are off. You're exposed. You have to take what you get bullshit Bullshit and here's the two reasons I disagree with you. I don't even think you should care. I think people can say, once you say, once you make it personal, okay, what you make it personal, it's the glue.

You don't get the protection of the art of standup. I don't agree with you on you. Oh, on that. And here's the two reasons why I don't agree with you. Number one, you're saying two different things. That's not until you are. No, no, no, I'm saying you just you number one. You're saying two different things That's not until you know, no, no, I'm saying you just said Joe. You're saying two different things. Yes, you are You want is yeah, yeah, I know I know but this is what you think is your fucking well to first of all to address First of all to address the two different things thing There was stuff in TJ's are quotes where he said Dane was going. I'm Dane cook show me some respect

Yeah, okay, so wait Quotes where he said, Dane was going, I'm Dane Cook, show me some respect. Yeah, okay. So wait, stop, you finished up. That's a joke. You don't know that, you weren't there. I talked to him.

Listen, I don't carry their way that he said that. I'm not criticizing him for saying that. This is my point though. What Patton was saying could have been mean, mean spirited jokes. You can attack somebody and make it funny. We all know that.

You stop, and this is, he apologized and said he was wrong. This is, once you say you're wrong, you're wrong. It's two people. This is why, this is why he should have never had to apologize and there should have never been the blog about it. For this reason, there should have never been the blog

because a fellow comic should understand, number one, we all have those times up there and we all get vulnerable we all get edgy up there number one number two that girl was doing something wrong that started this and didn't apologize for what she was doing that was wrong by taping a number and number three you know fucking rat out what's going on behind the scenes at a workout, this podcast. You fucking conned. Do you know what I'm saying? No, listen, Joe, you're wrong. I understand what you're saying, but you're wrong. Even he admits that he was wrong, because he attacked somebody.

It wasn't about, if he was up there doing a set and somebody brought out, he just did a set. And it was, being goofy inside of his set, it wasn't personal to anybody. It was like I'm dank cook show me respect Well, there was someone texting though, and I think that's what he was from the story That's what he was upset about oh Jane. Yeah, so they're kind of two different things as far as Yeah, okay, but he wasn't recall good someone was recording it. Oh, he was texting up He's saying he's saying that he was missa the jokes. Yeah, yes He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about.

He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about.

He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about.

He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. He was talking about. we don't want anything to do with that. That's, I mean, Eddie Brill got fired for massagenistic comments. He was going off on his material. So here, it was material. He was just up there being a comic. What happened, and he actually apologized,

is I fucked up because I made it personal. I was up to doing my material, and then I made it personal. Who made it personal? Patent. But Bobby, so what you're saying is it's okay that TJ criticized when they made it personal, but it Bobby when you make what you're saying is it's okay that tj Criticized when day-made a personal, but it's not okay that he criticizes material because tj did claim that Dan was being an asshole And be just being mean to the audience too that was part of it

And I think criticizing for that is bullshit, too, okay, that's fine I don't I don't Criticize somebody for saying this guy attacked a woman, a woman comic, saw a guy comic, attacked a woman for physically fat or ugly or idiot or dry hair, bitch asshole wouldn't shut the fuck up. He apologized because he knows I let this bitch win because I'm I let her get to me. Okay. Now I'm not saying, look, you want you say I'm sorry I fucked up here, but

she did this, okay. You're still gonna have to own your shit that you said you did. He did 100%. I've done it to do it. I've snapped on chicks and I've I've looked this bitch wouldn't shut up. I told her, I snapped. I own what I did. I hear you. Okay. Now here's the, here's two different things.

Listen to me, I get it. But that being said then, then you're saying the two things you're saying with that statement, hold on. The one thing you're saying with that statement is then you approve of some of the stuff TJ said, just not all of it. Though I told you, censoring other comics,

I don't care that it's Dane. I told you that Dane could be an asshole to people. I don't, some people just don't like people. I prefaced all this with the one thing that fucking bothered me is comics censoring other comics. When you listen, you got it, we have to have a safe zone where we can develop and evolve jokes

and not have to worry about people going, did you hear what Joe DeRosa said? He said something about Jesus and fucking a baby. Let me tell you the wormiest fuck. That winds up in the paper and then you're fucked. Let me tell you the wormiest thing that's ever happened to me in comedy, okay? And here's, this is the only,

all right, let me just not say. No body jokes. I'm not gonna, I'm not, listen. I'm not, he's going for the fun. Look at this, look at it. Here's the, here's the wormiest thing that anybody's ever done to me in comedy. And this is why, this is why I disagree

about the criticism of the gloves are off. What you're saying. My problem is the public relaying of the information. That's my problem. Let me say that before I tell the story. Okay, I was at a lab factory one night. Okay. I'm going to stay.

You got to really get to it because we're running over time. I'm getting to it. I'm going to want you to get to it. Well, you just went off for an hour. I didn't go for an hour. I went off for a very short time. All right, I didn I wanted you to get to it. Well, you you just went off for an album. I didn't go for an hour. I'm okay. Very short. All right. I didn't tell you to get to it. Oh, let me do my counterpoint, but I am telling you. Yeah, and it's root. I know. But you guys want us to tell you about what we do again. Just go. It's it's I was at the lab factory one night. You said it's rude, like run serious.

That's rude. Yeah, we get off your joke and it's out. Just go. Listen, I was at the lab factory one night. I'm on stage. There's a bunch of like thugged out dudes in the back of the room. I get before I even there was a bunch of, they're in the back of the room. People.

Before I even get to the mic, I start getting heckled. They're screaming at me. They're jumping up. They're waving their arms around. They're doing all this fucking intimidating. Fuck you, racist. They were. They were jumping up, doing this shit with their arms.

I swear to God. It's fucking. Why is that racist? It's a joke. It's a fucking joke, Joe. All right. Remember you said get to it. Don't interrupt the story in every other word.

How about that? So they're doing this, right? And it's fucking intimidating. And you can't get a word out. I flip the fuck out. I'm screaming at them. I get yanked. I'm supposed to do 20 minutes.

I get pulled physically, pulled off stage by the host. Five minutes into the host. This fucking little rat named Bobby Johnson. which now, now I'm fucking name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, I'm messing around with it. You know what? Do you podcast anymore?

He's naming names, no, I don't know if this is as bad as me complaining about other comics doing this or whatever the fuck, but whatever. It's he Bobby Johnson, right? He pulls me on stage and I get in trouble with the club. I wasn't allowed back for a little while. I'm yelling at security going get these fucking guys out of here. I'm the one with my back against the wall. 10 guys yelling at me.

You guys coming tell me I'm fucking wrong. Tell them they're fucking wrong. This big fiasco. The owner comes down all the shit right. I find out later and this is my problem Bobby Johnson who came up to me and said that was fucked up And I'm sorry that I was the one that walked up on stage But I was just the host and they made me do that

I found out later that he ran to the managers while I was on stage and said look at what Joe's doing in there He's freaking out. this is a problem. And that's my fucking beef with the public criticism of a comedian doing whatever on stage. It's the good-fellest thing. You don't rat on your friends and keep your fucking mouth shut. What Patton said to that girl,

what Dane said to that audience member had nothing to fucking do with these other people writing about it. Okay, mishaps happen, unfortunate. You're not gonna have that, it looked so, but my grandmother, oh, male, she loves writing letters. Move the fuck on, man, because nobody's writing one back.

Send an email, bitch. It's gonna happen in this day. People are gonna write shit. People are gonna- But comics shouldn't write it. But here's the deal, okay, comics shouldn't, but she's not a comic. She is!

But she's not really a comic. She's a fucking's a deal. Okay, comics shouldn't, but she's not a comic. She is. But she's not really. Bob, she's a fucking comic in hell. Okay. So I agree that she should have kept her mouth shut. Yes. I agree. That's what I'm saying. But he put himself out there.

When he said, I'm sorry. When you say I'm sorry, if you don't think you're wrong, don't be fucking wrong. Bob, you're misunderstanding the story of what the trajectory of events she wrote the blog Then he said you're right. I'm sorry. Yeah, after I'm not saying I said I'm not speaking for bad. He is sorry I don't think he should have even been put in that position to begin with because that blog should have never been written Nobody should have ever known about that. So that's the offended party went out. But here's what comes to my theory too on that is I think there's the crowds have gotten

worse. I don't think people know how to act in public anymore. They don't. They're all entitled. They're all about to be gone. To the movies are going to a comedy show like put the phone down and focus on being present and doing whatever is going on in a comedy club, it's the comedy clubs that have made that happen. Because when you go to a club and it's, you know, people have been there for an hour drinking already because they want to sell booze and they have food.

There's plenty, you know, they want chicken wings and fucking popcorn and all this shit. And they're gonna drop a check because they want to get the next 500 people in and make that fucking money. It's the comedy clubs. They want to make money. This is about making not just making comedy money.

This is about becoming a millionaire and having a boat and a fucking mansion. But I also think there's a responsibility as an audience member too. The audience didn't. Not tweet, not videotapes, not pull out of camera and tape a pat. I agree. But look at, man, when you go to a Broadway show, you don't fucking do it. Of course.

Why you get kicked the fuck out. You don't have a phone. If your phone goes off, you get kicked the fuck out. There's people all over the place ushering. There's a lot of rules and regulations. Absolutely. And yes, comedy clubs don't do that. And once again, back to the point that I made 20 minutes ago,

whatever, this is my point. There is no unity. We're already getting fucked by enough people out there, okay? And then when comedians go and rat the fuck, and they, people see that and go, we don't need to respect these companies. People videotape comics, because their mentality is you owe me this. Yes. People will bitch and go, dude, what's up?

You haven't done a free podcast in a while. Dude, what's up? Why aren't you tweeting more? Dude, why don't you put more shit on you? It's like, motherfucker, how much more free shit do you want? It's not that. Look, there's a thing though, but I put it back on me. I put it back on me. I don't have to, I, I look at certain people that, that look, I, this is what I do. It's on me. The people that bitch are complaining, I don't care. The people that are my fans, I, this is what I got to offer you. I got, I'm going to be here then. I do a couple of Twitter's once in a while. I Facebook here once in a while. I let you know where I'm gonna be.

And I do this podcast for my, the fans of the podcast and for anybody, once a week I'm gonna really try to make this podcast happen and make it as good as possible. That's what I do, that's on me. I don't have to do anything. I don't, if I don't do this podcast ever again, it's okay. I will go do comedy.

If I don't do comedy, I mean I do this because number one I want to do it for whoever the fuck listens to it. Whether it be two people when it started a couple years ago, whether it be 30,000 now, okay, it's on us. And this I look in the crowd now and I see a broad on their cell phone, I'm not flipping out like I did two years ago, because this is what they have become. That's right, there's an addiction to the social. I just walked into an audition and I fucking said,

remember the day I looked up, big audition, producers, direct, I mean big, big. We get it. Big. Yeah, yeah. Please don't do that. You can keep saying big, Just don't do that. Big.

I'll do that head now. What is that from though? I'm doing it from a double head. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Anyways, one more time. Big.

You. It, um, and I looked and everybody's on their phone. Everybody's on their phone. And I took it, not I take it personally, I made a joke. I was like, well, I remember the days when before phones, what did do people do in auditions and stuff you know I like everybody's on their phone the guy held his phone up the

producer and he goes I'm looking you up dude I just want to seize you you know where you're on the web and I'm looking at you and I'm just look researching you and I felt like a dick you know what I mean I one night, a girl was texting her on her phone, I go, put the fucking phone down. And she goes, I'm just texting my friend how funny you are. And you should, I mean, it's where we are. I don't like it.

I don't agree with the joke. I understand what you're saying, but where becoming this, and there's a certain level of what he said don't record me, apps, a fucking loop. And what he did, I don't give a fucking loop and what he did I'm I don't give a fuck I'm for do it lose your shit right make a mistake who cares okay but what she did all she said was creatively on her blog what Pat Naswell did the night really fucking made me pissed as a that's her blog

if I went to a fucking show one video taping him. Yeah, if I went to a show, yeah, I started commenting fucking do some shit. I'd come back to my podcast and I'd go I'd probably go fucking this guy lost his fucking brain last night. He fucking hits somebody on stage. Dude, you listen to me. You I don't believe that you would. I don't believe you would because I'm gonna do it to you. I'm gonna follow you around this way. If you, and I'm gonna fucking tell,

let people know the fucking massage and it's racist, the Jotaro surrealist. If we were- You're racist, Joe! You mouth the word, you mouth the end word. I did not stop it. Stop it, that's all you do is stop it. You mouth it.

If you were, if you were, I know you're joking. If you were If you were I know your word means nothing when you say no helmet. I know it means nothing. No go fuck yourself Wow Yourself no, don't go not again. No, no Armour's on buddy. I'm sorry. I'm in Bob. I'm fucking in. Remember that from two weeks ago? I do. Listen, if you, we're on the show tonight at Gotham, right? Yeah, we're, oh yeah.

Well, it's not, we can't plug it because it'll be after. But we, we're on the show tonight at Gotham. If, if you lost your fucking shit on stage. Yes, you wouldn't tell. I'm a comic. I'm not going to go tell on you even if it was directed. You're going to go to another comedy club and tell everybody there. Yeah, but that's that's not. No, I would I would tell listen, I would tell comics. Yes, the first thing I do,

that's the code. I agree. I agree. That's my only beef is that a comic that wasn't getting yelled at witnessed it and then went, eh, patent did this. Am I panzer in a bunch? I agree. He fucking crazy. I agree with you. I agree with you. I understand what you're saying, but it's, it's, he should have, he, he fucked up that

he's saying this. I don't think he fucked up. I don't think he fucked up. He's saying that he made a mistake because he snapped on this girl this other lady wrote this This other broad wrote the blog. I get where you're saying we should keep our trap shut Even good or bad if you see somebody yes, all right. I get where you're saying it makes sense But I understand where this girl I Understand what she did I understand it. I don't agree with it

I understand what she did. I understand it. I don't agree with it. I'm not gonna back it, but in this day of blogs and Twitter and Facebook, I understand that somebody who will go home and go, I need to talk about this. Yeah, and that's bullshit. Yeah, I think I understand, I agree.

That's what I understand it. I get it. That's the new age. So we have to be aware aware of each other But we also have to back each other up which I think what you're doing when I'm doing what everybody's doing with Dane What happened this time we didn't let happen we killed it we squashed it we didn't give it legs and I think that's A positive thing I think that's good positive thing. I think that's good.

And Joe DeRose, you speech was amazing today. Honest to God, dude. All right, thank you. I'm voting for Joe, I don't know. I'm voting for Joe for a fucking Shwanky Award. Yeah, you got my vote. Let's see what we're nominated for. I'm gonna get my shorty award.

Yeah, which I found out. Congratulations. Yes, which I found out what. Shorty award. I looked at, I looked. I've been going around for a while Yeah, is it is it I mean their award itself is real they have celebrities present them and shit Yeah, but then I just looked on and it was like I just saw random people to be like I nominate someone so because that is that how easy Is that how easy is the

Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of those web awards. I don't think of I can't think of anything on top of my head It's very like I want to I had to get nominated for Like a lot of people have the webbies is another one that they have out there. I love the web is They do have podcasts awards. I love the web. All right. All right guys. I'm real quick Thank you so much. We get a big travel Great to hear you guys He's trying to plug a show That's great to hear you guys in person. He's trying to plug a show

Guys plug it we plug it real quick February Gotham comedy club You know what dude live. I can't do the music. You know what dude with Robert Joe Bonnie Vade boss fake boss Bob the bono Monster voice will not be there because he is a sell out It's too good for it. It's too good for it. Please fucking DWI right to a fucking tree. Yeah It's gonna be good and there we go goes to a strong it makes his voice higher It's gonna be good. And then there you go. Gossier is throwing it because his voice higher.

Ah. There you go. Hi, guys. It's most of voice. You know what's called a fucking plus whack voice from now on. Tickets are on sale now. Tickets are on sale now. How many clubs?

Go get tickets. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham.

Gotham. Gotham. Gotham. Gotham.30 doors open at 8.30. We're going to be doing stand up then the live podcast from downstairs is only 80 seats as of right now. 80 seats available. We're going to have a limited run of posters for the show. Very limited. We're going to be selling and also we're working on a special treat. Yeah, we're working on a special treat which we're gonna we're confirming that later today. We're confirming it later. We're gonna confirm it later which is gonna be on the site. Yeah, we'll be on the site or Facebook or Twitter.

We're gonna announce it next week on the podcast. That's gonna be amazing. A very special special thing we're trying to, these the the Syndicate and Laugh button is trying to work out for you guys to show. There's 80 seats available. It went on sale yesterday. Tickets are flying. Get. You got them tickets. If they're still available, by the time this podcast comes out, you know, so this is going to be a real special treat. Now, I want to thank

right now, Noel Baruso. Is that the Australian guy? This, this son of a bitch, man. You donated some serious cash. And, um, I mean, Evan Scott David Johnson Darrell Hiller Robert Bloom once again a constant guy donating to the podcast you guys are all we really appreciate the donations and i'm actually gonna we're gonna be able to do this show live at Gotham because of your donations i'm actually gonna be taking a lot of that donations and and buying some stuff to be taking a lot of that donations and buying some stuff to be able to have more than one for guests on the show. So thank you for that. Joe, where are you going to be?

When does come out Monday? Monday. Why can I never remember that? Sorry. Every week. When does come out? Where am I going to be? I'm going to the laughhouse in February and also be University of Delaware in February come up to those shows, joe de rosa comedy dot com. All right cool and you guys the left button dot com Twitter at the left button Facebook dot com slash the left button. That's it very easy. It's good. Yeah. And if you want to check us out at the syndicate that'd be great to the sin.com T.M.S.Y.N. dot com. You have any of you young and promising comics. Come on.

The left one comes definitely wearing fun everything. Yeah, and make sure you go to riot cast, check it out. They're podcasts big show. I'm fucking excited. It's going to be a blast. Joe, I think we did good today. We did.

I mean, we was back to fun. Trashing. Fun, Trashing fun Trashing was fun We let it we let it get serious I got one I got you I got three look at this That's Twitter you can add Twitter three texts. How many texts? I got I've four texts I have one two three four five six emails. Oh Emails email down the email. Oh fuck you. It's I'll take you down all right five

Five texts. Oh, I just got another one. Does that count? Two Joe one Joe. I lost Joe one. It's because I have the black Joe's a fucking people person. Fuck him. I bet you have those a fucking mediocre chicks. Are we are we meeting tonight? That's nice. I'm sorry, Joe That's really nice. I apologize. Fuck you, Joe Hey, you a fan of the You Know What Dude Podcast with the three things you can do to prove that. Number one, go to iTunes, subscribe, and leave a review.

Not just any review, leave a five-star holy shitfuckin' plot hunt. Wow! Review. Write it down on a piece of paper before you even post it to make sure it's wow. Holy shitfuckin'. And number two, go to the Robert Kelly page on Riotcast and hit the donate button. You can donate a dollar, you can donate 5 million dollars, it doesn't matter.

And you know what, you don't even have to donate anything if you don't have the cash. This shit's free and it always will be. But we do appreciate all the people who have donated so far because it's made this podcast better and better every week. And number three, go to riotcast.com and check out all the other podcasts. There's nine of them. If you like podcasts, there's no need to go anywhere else,

but riotcast.com. Woo, woo, woo, woo. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? I think it's stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, This comes from the inside You know what I did? Really did, really, really, really You know what I did? I missed it, I missed it Me you