Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Best of 2021
Episode Date: January 10, 2022This week YKWD and Robert Kelly celebrates 2021 with some of our best times, favorite moments and even a couple of previously unpublished bits! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.c...om/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hoy es un dÃa de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el dÃa.
¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene?
¿Sino por qué no te viene?
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso, que Madrid nos vÃa.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.
Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico financieras del solititante en el momento de la solicitud.
¡Hey, that was amazing! Ya, we didn't get it, we didn't get it.
Ya, we didn't get it, we didn't get it.
What the fuck, you got a Mexican...
I know!
No!
You don't hire a Mexican to teach a woman...
Is that the camera?
Oh, we got that, we got that.
Are we going?
The camera?
No, we're not live yet.
All right, let's go, we got that recorded.
Market, tape it, send it.
I want it.
The magic that's on that tape?
Check the gate.
It belongs to us.
Yes.
I mean, technically it belongs to me.
Sure.
Well technically it belongs to you,
but the magic that's on that tape.
I mean, creatively we sold that I would make the most of the money
Yeah, that's lion sure. Yeah, lion. I'm a lion
Racer cat
This is start come on I'm waiting
Ladies and gentlemen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that today No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's today. No, no, no, the first time. Not yet, it hasn't gone yet. We do the as an intro.
In over a year.
You fucking beat the G-Gear.
I already appear and proud to bring back.
You know what, dude.
It's a podcast.
It's a podcast right now.
We're back.
You know what, dude?
I welcome everybody to the show.
I'm a white kid at my computer.
I started a social media podcast.
I'm a white kid at my computer. I'm a white to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it.
I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here to do it. I'm not here, thank you for all my podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does.
Is there any better show?
This is the original original.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out. I'm out. I'm and one of them smells like molestation.
Jesus, that's it.
I remember him when you were little.
I remember he used to sleep with your mouth open.
I used to see him back.
He was more like that. to see that you were born in. I'm not born in. No.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
What the fuck kind of had of you?
Are you wearing a...
Is that a shoe?
No.
The closed caption guy wrote,
Light Laughter.
I mean, he wrote it.
This guy's like light laughter, heavy comedian.
Hard to say, the first sip of piss.
First of all, if that's not your next album,
I don't know if it's a sip of piss.
First sip of piss should be your next album.
And was it a sip or was it more like open your throat?
It's a great question.
It was a sneaky mouthful.
I fight with her, but there's a point with her.
I'm going to pull back because I know she'll fight me.
So punch you in the neck.
I get proud.
Yeah, I have to fight.
It makes me so hot.
Maybe that's what I should do on my only fan.
Fight.
And then they just see my panties get wet.
Yeah, without.
How much of a bobby grow up?
It's so hot. Why would you pick? It was 80 pounds on keto. He doesn't need it. get wet. Yeah, without. You'd come to my Bobby grow up.
Why would you cost 80 pounds on keto? He doesn't need it. He just has to have that image. I'll never read again.
Just fucking.
Flesh colored panties getting wet.
There's nothing worse than being done. The seller and girls looking at the wall and my sexy
Bobby photos behind me.
And like, who's that? I'm like standing right there.
Did an old Indian chief curse you?
You were being as large as a buffalo.
Shut up dude, get the fuck out of my way old man.
You are messing with the force you don't understand.
For you are the great white water buffalo and you will be cursed through us give your
life.
Fuck you dude, I'm going to a set.
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna suck on some pits.
Which one? Which one?
You got a pick one.
Who?
You got a pick one.
There's a gun against your hand.
You got a pick one.
Which one?
We're gonna do a whole, I'm a farm hand and needs...
With me?
You pick me?
Damn.
Nice.
No, she wouldn't, wow.
You just said it. You got to understand. Lewis nice. No, she wouldn't. Wow. You're just setting.
You got to understand.
You have to understand, in olden times,
bigger people were seen as being very close friends.
You get a little fucker stuff.
Oh fuck, Holly.
Oh fuck, Holly.
Oh fuck.
She's like, I'd go with President Taft.
She's like, I'd go with President Taft.
That's a man that can not in the economy!
Ah, she's gonna die if I see photo shots of me as Taft!
I'm gonna fuck his staff!
Bobby at a bathtub!
Fuck yeah dude! She's gonna pass away from COVID after this, but it's so a good time
Well, it's fun
No you really you choose Bobby out of everybody
Are you are you're near sighted?
Miss miss do you understand what's happening right now do you know where you are
I can hear you and I walk along
oh my god I need to get you on camera, sweetie.
Hi, mama.
So you definitely pick me, right?
That's great.
Who would be your second choice in an orgy?
Yeah.
Oh!
We should have known you had Joan Rivers at RJ.
On the set of Matt about you, there was an earthquake and Helen Hunt got in between the doorway
of the set.
Like she hid in the doorway because that's what you're supposed to do.
But it was a fucking set, like a wall, like it was a 10 foot high wall.
And then after the earthquake settled, Paul Reiser said, that would have only saved your
character. That's funny. And I'm like, that's one of the best lines I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, that's very funny. Very good. Um, for a Jew. For a Jew. Like I had to save it.
All right, we're gonna do. Um, yeah, it's fucking, it's crazy to me. Are you gonna stop doing?
Are you gonna just keep doing Doug? Yeah, it's all right. I mean, I just gotta do more
if you had a if Patreon
I'll be Barry cats if all your characters are drowning which one would you save?
Chip
Chip after everybody else uncle Paul's gone. Yeah, even though he's probably deep down my favorite, but uncle Paul
Yeah, he's the most fun. Why is it just repulsive?
You know uncle Paul no, I just don't understand how all the characters could
be drowning at the same time if he plays all of them.
And why would they be?
How does that make sense?
If all the characters were, well, thank him about it.
Game 1 1 say to me.
I remember Dave's hip-hop.
That was one thing you used to say to me all the time
if you're on a showcase.
He came up to you like, you nervous. I'm like, no
I'd be like well if just if all your drugs are grounding which ones would you save?
That was the one you do tonight. Oh, well, that's a dude. That was his advice
jokes are drownings off of what's what you say the one about Susan Smith and Andrea Yates
Dennis that way I just Oh, damn it.
That way.
I just didn't get it.
Yeah.
I say, I feel like I'm not bringing much, I stink.
No, you don't.
Yeah.
That really bombed all except for spots.
Yeah.
I feel it deserved more, but that's Uncle Paul.
That's on the internet.
Yeah, I just on vice.
Oh, yeah, I was.
Who's advice?
I'm for Hades.
The founder of Uncle Mangle. I don't want to watch this. Oh, Nathamon. Yeah. who's advice
I don't want to watch this uh-natterman yeah
is that it? play it
no
why you were in it
I wasn't I was cut out
oh wasn't I
oh they didn't air that episode
no I did four episodes
I did two Uncle Paul sketches
no I get too much. Yeah, I shut.
Yeah, yeah, that was Uncle Paul like a reality show at Uncle Paul. I have the photo first of all and
I show you know, he calls me up. He's got this vice show. He's like, I want you to do something.
That's hilarious. I want you to do something on the show and I'm like, yeah, and this is, I believe when I'm on, Louis, I'm on FX.
I mean, I'm fucking really as an actor, kick an ass and Norton has this
fight show.
And he's like, I'd like you to come down and do this thing.
And I'm like, of course, I didn't even ask what, I didn't even care what I'm just
coming down.
I'm doing what he wants me to do.
So I get, I get down there and they gave me my wardrobe.
My wardrobe was a diaper and a bonnet. So I get I get down there and they gave me my wardrobe my wardrobe
Was a diaper and a bonnet
Yeah He gave me a diaper and a bonnet and a fucking pacifier
That was it a giant diaper and a bonnet and I was what was I under cover because Uncle Paul's a pedophile
So Bob was undercover.
That's hilarious.
So I was baby, I was baby vice.
Meanwhile, I have a baby at home.
I have a child at home,
and I have, I mean, I remember being in the back room,
putting this diaper on, going, fuck.
I mean, is this one of those times
where you just say no and and maybe lose the
French. You hear it is right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's adorable. That's me. You want to
take in your shirt off too for it and just have a bib on. I want up. I want to take
in my shirt off. I'm outside. Dude, you don't understand though. I'm outside in the fucking streets of Brooklyn. And no shirt, a fucking, a bonnet diaper,
with a pair of handcuffs.
I'm arresting this guy and he's trying to suck my dick
as I'm arresting.
He tried to suck you, I forgot about that.
So, so he's going, I don't know.
Every time I try, every time I pick up some,
and we're filming this. And I'm like, oh, he's trying to time I pick up some. And we're filming this.
And I'm like, oh, you're trying to suck it here.
You went to the diaper, I'll go go go go.
And then I remember no one told me, yeah, dude,
it's not going.
I'm like, yeah, I kind of fucking under two in.
Four episodes, two Uncle Paul sketches.
They were like, it's just, we can't have.
Oh, so they cut it.
You didn't.
Vice to vice.
Oh, okay.
I just sent Nicole the photo of that.
If you want to bring that up, it is.
I did, I was in the middle of this. People are walking by. And I, sent Nicole the photo of that. If you want to bring that up, it is. I was in the middle of, people were walking by
and there was a rant I did in the,
diapet and the bonnet.
Why does it only have five likes?
That's some fan put that.
Oh, okay, this isn't like.
No, that's actually a clip from the,
from TBS's, what is that?
That's stupid tournament alf show.
You did Uncle Paul on TBS for a second. Yeah, he's in like a sketch with chip
I see this please you have to go back a little bit. I figured it's oh chip is
Yes, oh, yeah, yeah
It was chip doing his prank show. No, I could see why you'd be embarrassed by this
Miliating
Yeah, someone made just a little best of video.
It's very embarrassing.
It's well, you know, it's so fucking funny, man.
All these characters are funny.
Do you think that it's the times we're in that this,
if this was in the 90s, you think this would maybe pop off?
No.
No, I think it's got a ceiling.
A ceiling.
Yeah, it's a specific taste for people
uh... god he is so committed to it uh...
story line it was uh... short stories
uh... for short stories fun i always love a diary of a milf
short stories that's red shoe diaries on hb o which is one of the things i
similar but hard this was hard core yet of course the one that i like the best
mhm was
the husband was hiding in the closet.
Fun.
They hired a guy to come over to fuck his wife.
Okay.
And all of a sudden the guy pulls up,
but just before he pulled up,
the whatever, the six,
like kind of flipped down or something happened
the address changed okay so the guy was like there it is so he goes in to the
wrong house well he goes into the house and he
forcefully takes this woman
oh for the money that her husband owed
okay
and it was a pretty holy god seen
she fought a little bit but then she gave in.
Sure.
And then, because she, her and her husband hired this guy.
But I thought he went to the wrong address.
Well, it turns out this guy who came in was,
at the last scene was like,
hello, what do you mean he can't find the house?
Ah.
The guy they hired couldn't find the house
because the number flipped. Ah. The guy they hired couldn't find the house because the number flipped.
The guy that came in was a mob guy
looking for the other address.
But they didn't, so what, he just banged a lady in the house?
He came in and he banged her.
Get money?
They didn't get the money because you got...
Guy goes in the river.
You tell your husband next time it's gonna be his ass, I fuck.
No, that's, that's pretty.
That's what he says.
If I'm the mafia boss, that guy's off the team.
You didn't bring me back my money.
Yeah.
The same for you to get off the bus.
Unless you're the boss.
Unless it was the boss doing it.
But I don't, the boss doesn't do that.
The boss doesn't come in and fuck it.
No, he's got his, what are they called?
Or the side pieces called?
Lieutenant's?
No, no, no.
The Guma's.
Guma, he's got his Guma.
Guma, yeah, but you come in and you bang. That's bad for business. Yeah, yeah, no, no, the guma's guma. He's got his guma. Guma. Yeah, but you come in and you bang has bad for business
Yeah, yeah, listen hey the only woman that receives my seed is my fucking wife and the guma. She blows me
But the guma gets to see it too. Yeah, she gets to see it in a mouth and then you kill it
Yeah, they're moush spits it out like the majyo you make her spit no a dixie cup. You don't put that in your vagina
I'm not having a half Russian half what are you out of your fucking Russian tits?
Spit that in the sink like a dentist
Yeah, dude I cut that guy loose the sack. That was your favorite scene on the the second favorite scene on it was
The the girl was home from school. How old are we talking? Oh, she's got to be
The girl was home from school. How old are we talking here?
Well, she's got to be 19-20.
Okay.
Yeah, she's not a, I'm not into kiddie stuff.
Yeah.
Thank God.
Because that would really damage this.
No, 19-20.
I don't know about the EP.
I don't know what you guys are doing.
Like a high school and a high school.
That's still, let's just say early college.
Yeah, college.
Yeah, college.
You know what?
College.
First year college.
Yeah.
Community sophomore year, just to make sure we got some clearance soft. We are undergrad still she's still an undergrad
She's sophomore college that's still fun about Catholic college
So all right so anyways
The boyfriend comes home. They live together. Well, no, no, no, the mother's boyfriend comes home. Oh, no, catch is her reading a
porno
I'm like a like a Daniel Steele. She's checking out a penthouse
The boyfriend the mother's boyfriend comes pretty hardcore stuff now
Then the mother comes home and catches her boyfriend with her daughter
What and the mother gets mad at the daughter and the boyfriend.
Because you wanna do this, I'm gonna teach you how to do this.
That's every scene of the past seven years.
And then teaches the daughter how to do it.
Damn, you saw scenario before it went big.
You understand?
That red tape was like, that was like hipster band
that no one knew, that premise of like mom walks
in, girlfriend's fucking the like, how dare you, or a lot of times now it's the girl, the
daughter and her boyfriend and then the mom comes in and like, let me show you how to suck
a dick.
Yeah, no, this was husband.
Like, this is, I've never seen anything like this back then.
Yeah, and this is VHS.
I mean, you got to rewind it. I mean, you gotta rewind it.
I mean, you just do it.
To understand the concept.
You have to perfectly time your orgasm.
Yeah, so those were the top two scenes.
Top two.
What's your bottom scene?
The one at the, where the guy comes in and he's at a hotel and the,
the, the girls are staying there and he's like the manager of the hotel and they came in
and they, they, they force him on the bed.
That's fun.
Man, they start sticking stuff in his butt.
That's not fun.
Humiliate them.
That's not fun.
He takes it.
That's not fun.
Yeah, I didn't like that one.
If you're in management, you gotta learn how to do that.
So the better is him as a hotel manager.
As hospitality.
Yeah, he's like, oh, okay, yeah, sure.
Well, we can honor your help.
Are you gonna leave me a five-star on travelosity?
I don't think you should staple my P-hole shot,
but that's your opinion as the guest,
as the guest of our place.
Do you remember, I mean, you're gonna have now
or going to watch porn.
So I'm almost done with it.
Yeah.
It's so like, I mean, I've seen every...
Damn, tired.
Tired, tired.
I'm searching for, I'm like. It's like, I'm... I'm tired, tired. I'm searching for...
I'm like typing in, fucking, you know,
a windy kidnapping...
You like the kidnap?
No, you know, I'm trying to find some weird shit
that I've never seen, like, done gambling.
Sasquatch footage.
Type in Sasquatch, can you type in Sasquatch
see if any point comes up for that?
I like to type in bare knuckle boxing big tits.
Just see two fucking thick women exchanging.
Typen, Typen, Typen Sasquatch porn.
Yeah dude, I bet there's a dude dressed like Sasquatch with a big old dog lying it to a lady.
This poor girl is trying to give a blowjob and the hair keeps getting in her mouth.
Excuse me, Mike Diamond?
Director Mike Diamond?
I don't think I can do this.
But you don't watch porn that you live with a girl.
Yeah, I live with my lady friend.
So you can't really fuck her?
You have, I mean, is she ever not home where you can do it?
Road, you just went to the road.
You can't do it at home.
I'm trying to do it as a joke right now, but it happened.
What, you got caught?
Yeah.
Oh no.
On a Bluetooth speaker.
No.
Yeah, dude, we got, I got her a Bluetooth speaker for Christmas.
Oh.
And then we were both on it, and then it was like the beginning of the pandemic.
And I fucking would put porn on my, I was in the, you know, where we recorded the guests,
the podcast and stuff.
And I was like, I watch porn in like weeks.
Right.
I had to type in an old scene.
Oh, no.
And it was like, there wasn't any audio.
Yeah.
And I was like, where the fuck is that?
Yeah, yeah.
And she was in the shower listening to the speaker.
And I didn't know that my phone was connected
and I was turning it up.
And I was like, what the fuck?
It's like, for wanting the scene,
it's just like,
ah, ah, ah, and I hear it through the wall
and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
my heart was in my fucking throat.
You know that feeling where you're like,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
and I turned it off and I said,
fuck like a hundred times, it was like,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
And then I come out and she's like,
you know how women drive their hair?
That she comes out of the bathroom and she goes,
I don't wanna talk about it.
And I was like, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool.
And then like a week later, I was like,
I'm really sorry about that.
She was like, that was fucking crazy.
But there's how much I love Katie like a month ago.
Because we were both like, one day that's gonna be very funny.
Right.
And then she walked out to the living room one day
and I was like, Stephen, she goes,
it's time for you to tell that story on stage.
Oh, no shit.
Yeah, she was like, it was too funny.
Yeah, it was poor.
On, porn out of nowhere? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it caught out and you just hear like oh yeah fucking yeah fucking me there is mighty
nightly sass watch oh I want a lot more deal of rapin revenge beyond any
woman's experience if you know John Carter and Judith Frankl I'm watching that
tonight I love do you watch a scene with Frank there's no scenes I don't know
there's a bunch of joke things with an actual night with
Sasuke.
Is it a book or is it a movie?
This is a book.
I'm not reading porn.
Wait, a couple wrote that book.
That's so funny.
Oh, sorry, honey, I'm all hot at the time, right?
Are you jumping?
Then Sasuke raved to me.
He goes, I heard.
That's where you're going?
I heard rocks being thrown into trees from the distance.
It sounded like a moose.
But there were no moose in the air. I heard sticks crack as into trees from the distance. It sounded like a moose, but there were no moose in the air.
I heard sticks crack as I bent down to pee.
As I drank the cool water from the stream, I felt a large hairy hand in my back and instantly
became aroused.
It went up my sundress.
And then he's just massaging her as she's riding it going, yes.
It's very erotic.
Oh god.
It's very erotic, love her, dude.
I don't think fucking list is coming back. He's coming back. You want a bet on it?
I how much you want to make a bet?
One dollar.
All right. I'll bet you one dollar. Says the EP doesn't come back. All right. He's coming back. You can't text them. What's that?
Play it. This is Sasquatch porn. Oh, God. Yeah, dude. Oh, is this Sasquatch good for Sasquatch? Are you play this dude?
Don't show it
She could show it to me. What's the name of it? It's reality gang go look up missy woods bigfoot
Can't what are you doing it? Can we watch it and we watch it? You keep it off screen?
What's it don't show it? We'll just if you want to watch it just type in missy woods missy woods and Sasquatch and Bigfoot do big foot takes on Bigfoot dude. I love it that takes on it. It's like a boxing match
Hey, she's
Missy woods and a super tight vagina versus half man
Half beast
God vagina versus half man half beast God
Fucking not a little red corner. Oh my god. All right with this. Yeah, look at you. God. Hello. Is that a popsicle?
Oh, why are they gonna make penises look like can we listen to it? Oh, she's running. Oh, she fell a meat. She's running
No brawn. Oh, here we go. She's screaming mid 90s fucking fake tits. I'll tell you yeah. Oh, she's got
Dukes. She's running up a hill. She's running up a hill. This has got to be a lot of film a lot of fun to film not fun to fuck I bet
She I bet she got her doing big comes big foot. That's big foot right now. How big do you think his dick is?
Super big or do you think it's like I think he's like he's probably five eight
Nobody you think his dick his dog's gonna be big. Oh, it dick better be big. Cause if you're bigfoot, up, here he comes.
Basically, it's just a monk.
They're playing it like a monkey.
Yeah, why would you play this?
For any Sasquatch enthusiast offensive.
He's not a fucking monkey.
Oh, they scream.
Yeah, he's come on.
He's human.
He's quite, yeah.
He's the missing link.
And how is he?
How is he not catching her?
Oh, I don't know.
He is such a longer gate than her.
I feel like he does have closing speed.
Oh, here she comes.
Oh, here she comes.
There she comes.
Her nipples are rock hard.
That, there she goes.
Into the rock quarry.
That's where you're gonna do.
Everyone knows Sasquatches move quick through rock.
Yeah, this is actually rock.
She got caught.
Eyes over, big like a bear.
Get big, miss.
Get big. All right, here we go wait. What? She doesn't understand it. Oh, he's injured. Oh, he hurt his foot
I'm out. No, I'm I'm gonna do it. I'm out. No, no friends. No. Yeah, she's gonna suck his dick. No, dude
I want to see how transitions
Let her help her
Give me my money. All right, take it.
The E.P. is back.
I do want to watch his Saskwatch form.
Turn Joe's mic on.
His mic's off.
Oh, here it goes.
Oh, it's a thorn in the paw.
I can't see either TV is so bright.
All right, she just took a thorn out of his paw.
We're wondering if he has a big dick to play Bigfoot.
Hmm. Oh, she's going
to start jerking them off. I know. I know how slow it's move.
Chasing me like that.
Is your big tits?
Because you're fat fucking titties. What do you think we're doing? I'm a, I'm a
son squatch. I'm not a gay. You're sick.
Yoda. I don't even know where I am.
Oh, she's lost, dude.
I don't know.
He's trying not to talk.
Dude.
I like old pussy finder.
Look at that ad.
Yeah, dude.
40 plus.
My wife is an old pussy.
Yeah, dude.
That hurts.
Oh, he's just cutting.
Oh, oh, it is.
Oh, there roasted marshmallows.
Would they get marshmallows? I don't know. Oh, do you have a girlfriend Oh, there roasted marshmallows. Would they get marshmallows?
I don't know.
So, do you have a girlfriend?
Damn, she's already horny for Bigfoot.
She's a roast of the Mollos, and then she's ready
to suck off Bigfoot.
That's why I was up here all alone, trying to clear my head.
In full makeup?
Do you want my girls around here?
We're the woods, you stupid bitch.
Why is Bigfoot only the same size as her by the way bigfoot's lucky
He can't talk because you just be like you're an idiot. I don't know fucking I think that's Mike sure as
Dude with without a baseball hat mush. Were you in a fucking Bigfoot porn?
Here comes you see it Joe
Can you fast forward
Fucking son. Oh, that's Bigfoot damn way home. Go back to he pulls it out cuz it's gotta be like you are big foot
Yeah, dude, it's gotta be so hard to get hard in the Sasquatch
Here comes
Pull it. Pull it out, big foot.
Pull that dong.
Pull that dong.
Pull that dong.
Pull that dong.
Here she goes.
Oh my god.
Damn.
Oh my god.
Bigfoot's got big dicks.
That is huge.
How come, it's so noticeable that they're not cooking the marshmallows.
Yeah, I was producing this.
That's those bug minutes.
You're an idiot.
What would you do?
How would you do that?
Damn, dude.
If you need a heat source, my career might do the trick.
Wow.
You're Joe and Fuego live.
Oh, you won 50 bucks.
No, we didn't win.
Stop it.
We already did it.
We didn't win.
The coin doesn't, the, the win. Where's the coin? Give me that. This already did it. We didn't win. The coin, where's the coin?
Where's the coin?
Give me that.
Give me the coin.
Give me the coin.
Give me the coin.
Give me the coin.
Give it to us.
If you're lying, your career goes in the twos.
Hold on one second.
We're in a price.
Yeah.
Let me see.
I think we're in a price.
You should reveal.
You won 50 bucks.
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
I should get it.
Let me see it though. I should get this money. Lie it. This is see it. I should get let me see it. I should get money.
Lying. This is a few other. I will bet you if you're all is no I'll bet you 25 I'll split it with you. Let me hold it if it's if it's I will split it with you. Let me hold it real quick. If you're not lying
I'm gonna check this nothing. We're gonna throw them all you fucking pot at this is the thing
This is the problem you mean the mistake you made what oh my god from New England New England is don't know scratch
Non-New England is don't know scratch tickets. There is that mean
We're too busy settling the West we care about scratch tickets. We live as we're in staunched in scratch ticket right
He's from Colorado. They put just got scratching. It's two years ago. It's not a reading. He's a moron
Let me see let me see 50 bucks. Let me see pretty bucks
He's a fucking you're a fucking you're a fucking asshole. He's from Colorado. Never do anything with you
No, no more
Jackpot no sir
No sir, let me see he's acting he's acting now. Hey, let me see hang on you fucking pot. No, I'm not gonna see it
It's a $50 winner 50 baby. I would oh my god. Why'd you pull him a shit up Joe? You're
25% of it. I want to I don't think you would. Why'd you pull him a shit up, Joe? You're 80. What's 25% of 50?
I wanna know what you're not getting.
Oh my God, now you're not getting any of that.
Joe, I'll split it with a 20.
I get like 12.50.
Can I get 20?
No, I'm not getting any of anything.
We were gonna throw it out.
I was gonna take it.
I know you weren't.
I didn't know.
It was gonna be tossed.
I was looking at numbers.
Oh God. I was a camp
I lived with a foster father after I got a rehab. Blasadoo. Really? Yeah, I could.
When I got a rehab I was 17
No, 16 some 16 and a half maybe 16 and I went back home, but my mother was still dealing with me like I was a
Little fucking juvenile punk alcohol drug addict
and I couldn't live with her anymore,
it was just too much.
We were fighting too much, so I went,
I had a, my outreach council was this guy Ken Lass
and he had foster kids.
So he said, come live with me,
the state will pay you as a,
me as a foster kid for you.
And I lived with him in Winthrop for three years.
And one summer, I think it was the year before I left,
he came to me and said,
listen, you gotta find a place to live for the summer.
I think it was 17 or 18.
And I'm like, he's like, I just,
I go out, I'm a member of Camp PowerCrest.
A lot of Jewish kids go to camp every summer.
Sleep away camp. I'm Catholic, we don't do that.
You go to camp for the day and you go home.
And Jewish kids go away.
They owe you guys what a way.
Yeah, they went away for the two months.
Yeah, fine.
I mean, their parents just said, go fuck yourself.
Totally, they leave with their girls up here, they come down.
It's nuts to me.
Yeah.
I love my kid.
I could never send Max away for two months.
It's such a fucking weird, evil tradition to me.
Yeah, even boarding school kids,
like I would compete against speech debate.
Parents would send their kids away forever.
I don't understand that.
They would only see them in the summertime.
Yeah, I love, if Max was away for the summer,
I would fucking kill myself.
I wouldn't be able to do it.
And, but anyways, he goes,
you can either work there or you get a good place to live.
So I said, what's the highest paying job?
And he said, lifeguard.
So I went and I got my lifeguard.
I literally made it by a second.
I took, I went.
Anyway, he was like literally two, one.
And I was like, all right, you're a gift for a lifeguard.
And they gave me, so I went to camp out of the press.
I lived in the game.
He was one of the kids.
Shut up.
That is such a small world.
That is nuts.
And I guess I didn't know that I was known.
Oh my God.
Because back then I was sober, but I was, I was,
I'm very glad that I became chubby though. Because if I stayed that good looking. He was an adonist. You were about to say I was I was I was I'm very glad that I became chubby though because if I stayed that good looking
He was an adonis. You're about to say I was gorgeous. He was he had ribs. He had I believe I've seen
Like a hair bring him up, but I've seen him. I believe you I'm not negating it. I mean don't say that word
He was better looking than Jane. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes
But he found this local woman that like to give hand jobs.
Shut up.
Yes.
And you found her after, it was my left.
She was still giving the camp counter hand jobs.
I was on a canoe and I went out and I found the red head.
It's always a red head too, by the way.
Shannon, she's legendary at our camp. She did a
full strip tease down in the boat house with a with a boom box and a and a
Shannon sounds like a good out there. Yeah, she sounds like a good tell. That's me a camp hour
Chris. No, it is. Yeah, that's me a camp hour crest. That's lifeguard. That's a lifeguard. Wow. He's
still he had a you know what dude. look at that funny that body's under there babe
I mean listen to me that's me and Juve Hall
Nice look at you yet you kind of you dressed like my dad used to dress yeah, I mean I those are I didn't have clothes
They gave those to me. Okay, this was Indian. I grew up in darkness. This is Indian casino Bob and high school
I'll get you all these photos after the good. You got any Alan the
monkeys. I got fucking true Bob Kelly. Oh there he is. It's transitioning Bob.
100% and this is me my ass to make you sang it out.
You have Kenny Rodgerson in that one. But so I go to this camp. I'm the only
Catholic guy there. There's two, maybe two other Catholic kids.
And this is tradition.
These kids, these counselors,
they went from little kids to counselor,
you know, just circle of life.
Oh yeah, it's a community, it's a whole, yeah.
And I didn't understand it.
I just got out of rehab.
Right, what are these kids doing?
You guys sing songs, right?
What do you even do all day?
They're just two orbs and cramps.
That was a sports camp.
That was a sports camp.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was very jockey.
Okay, okay.
And I remember, I used to take, I had the little kids.
Remember there was a little kid that kind of like,
he was built like you too.
Yeah.
For some reason, this little kid was like,
like a guy.
And they called him Minimba.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's it.
So I'm at this camp and I'm like, I'm just out of
Juve a couple years rehab.
You know, I'm, you're the bad boy lifeguard on.
Oh, yeah.
I love the jacket.
Oh, wow.
The summertime.
But it was all boys.
So that's why you find it.
That's Chin Chan and he found.
Yeah, I don't know if you know this.
So I had a 67 Chevy Impala.
And he's gay.
And that's a great car.
That was a Ford one. Maybe you know, this is gay. Two that's a great car. That was a Florida maybe.
Maybe you're right.
That is gay.
Tudor would have been fucking me.
But I don't know if you know this,
but I had a collection of sunglasses back then
from, you know, not just gas station sunglasses.
I would go and get different sunglasses
and I had a cassette briefcase and I ripped the cassettes out
and I put my sunglasses in and I wrote shades.
I gave myself a nickname.
My fans though.
I gave myself the nickname and shades Kelly.
Every morning I would wake up and I would open up my briefcase and go through and pick out a,
yeah, you can see in the photo.
With gas station pair of sunglasses.
Yeah, that's one of my shades Kelly.
That's shades Kelly.
Those are women's for sure.
I remember.
I would have I would go in there and the other little kids would come over.
What are you wearing today shades?
No.
And I swear to God it was the oh I'm getting dude look at my, look at my, look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me.
Look at my oms, it's killing me. Look at my oms, it's killing me. her. Late night after work I got her to go into the photography. The photographer was from
London and he had this curly hair and he was like, hey, hey, Bobby. And I was like, do that.
I met this chick and I used your photography law. And he's like, yeah, so she came in and
she could have a shack. She stripped for us and moved his jerking off. And then-
You worked at Dunkin' Donuts.
Oh, so she was rich.
And one time people went in and she had a soft cast on,
if she had Carpool from the dirt.
From giving everybody a lot of many hand-gums.
Well, I took her down to the boat house one night
and I got someone go to radio.
Yes, so I hit-
So I had like five or six Jewish counselors
and she came in and I hit the music and they're like
No, but she did a bigger show you got yeah, she did a bend
She did a that's when we were like I was 15. Oh, so that was just a pretty and I got in
You were there with me though. Where are you? No? No? No? I got caught
Oh, that was the next year so me and my count roommate, Councillor, who was a shredded guy, Dave, red head, played water
polo for Harvard.
Oh, Mandela, yeah.
Okay, Dave Mandela.
Yeah.
Fucking guy was shredded.
I mean, he was in, so I-
Sounds like Frances Ellis.
We bonded in the photography thing that night with her dancing.
And we're sitting there cranking it out and all of a sudden my foster dad,
Laz comes in, what is going on here?
Oh my God.
Where did he come from?
He, someone ratted us out.
What?
So he came in and she had to put her titties back
and we had to put our dicks away
and he didn't talk to me for the rest.
I, he didn't talk to me for the summer anyways.
Yeah.
We had a big f falling out because of that.
Because he was my foster dad,
but he felt guilty having me there,
and he didn't want to show favoritism,
so he just didn't talk to me for the summer.
It treated me like anybody else.
But worse actually, I'm not a rehab,
I got a year and a half.
I'm fucking go a mental.
I'm losing my mind. I wish I could find the diarrhea. I'm fucking go a mental. I'm losing my mind.
I wish I could find the diarrhea.
I had to get a diary.
And I just rode in this diary.
I wound up putting blankets all around my bed
and made a tent, because I was isolating.
I was in a deep dark depression.
I can't power up this.
Because the only man that really cared about me
just stopped caring about me
in front of all these friends
that I didn't know.
And then I got caught with that and they brought us all out on the lawn.
No, humiliation.
Oh humiliation.
Humiliation.
And I got big fucking trouble for that.
Brudal.
Yeah, I was scary.
One really guy should have been like, would stop.
Yeah, we're drinking up at this time.
He was legendary. He was legendary. Oh, it was. Oh, the tradition. It
was. Oh, the tradition. It went on years after I started something.
It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. Yeah, so that party poop of
laska kicked out of the director's business and when a new guy was like
got I was like a counselor in training like a year. C.I.T. Yeah, I must have
been 15 or 16. She came 16 and my job like was to
go find her because it was too star by the way it was a map I know I left a map it was a
map with a call it must there and I just I found her on the back road and I was like it's Just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, she was just in the sex. Maybe she was a superhero. And she's like, oh, my wrists were twitching.
There are people that found her on Facebook.
Really?
Like a few years ago, yeah.
Well, I mean, I hope.
That was still not in that way.
Just like, hey, what's up?
Relax.
But she was, she was really cool.
Yeah.
Really nice.
Like, because the next day you'd see, she'd be like,
hey, Bobby, what's going on?
See you, see you later, no?
I love it.
Yeah, Ken, the party, Pooper.
But we were, I was a council there a long time.
So I come years later,
and this clock seconds here at the seller.
But I was doing comedy in Boston.
He had gone when I started,
but all my friends from camp were still coming
to my shows when I started. and his face would be like on the
Dictority vault, they're like, is that our Bobby Kelly doing?
Yeah, I know, I'm gonna go crazy.
It was a song you get sang before breakfast every day.
B, A, U, ERC, R, S, T, B, World Christ,
W, R, R, C, W, Z, T, B,
Fair, it's still a ball of beer vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a ver, vamos a en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? Tres por uno, tres por uno.
Ah, no, no, no.
¡Dominos!
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¿Qué es verdad sobre tú y Bobby se me me metan?
Bobby crea sus oportunidades.
Todo Bobby crea que todo lo que crea es que todo lo que crea.
SÃ.
Pretty much todo lo que crea.
Cuando crees sus oportunidades, ¿no se puede realmente dejar de dejar de dejar de dejar? Pretty much everything I do I create so when you create your own opportunities No one can really hurt you. I'd love other opportunities, but no one wants to
Don't about that is that you can't want to create an opportunity for me
I thought the funny guy was gonna have a good career like I thought you could plug me in with like I'm the guy at the fire
station who can't
fit down to Paul or, you know, you know, I, you give me a fat wife and Nebraska watches
us every Wednesday.
But apparently that's not the game.
Why do, uh, I'm a lady, skip around with children.
Anyway, why don't you, why don't you make a movie like the John Pinetch story or something
with the last scene where he's on the plane when he was told not to fly.
And then he stands up after a seven hour flight and that's it.
That's literally what happened.
I knew his opener.
Who's now, you know, eating his own shoes.
Get a get Bonnie.
She could show right a movie or a TV show around you and I promise you it'll be good.
Well, She could show right a movie or TV show around you and I promise you it'll be good
Self into Tim's fame
No, I'm getting fucking sick of your ass kids. It's boss you come in here and you're middle-aged that sucking Dylan's ass I Did it like the Austin me Joe doesn't want you there if I was
I'm happening even the fucking even the fucking producer
Let me take it not having to move to North Carolina and I'm gonna follow him
I'm you know what I'm gonna follow you. I'm fine. You know what? I'm gonna follow shulks wherever he goes. You can put in my enemy. Go to my
enemy. You'll fit right in at the retirement home. All right? You can't go to
the beach because you'll get hard-puned. I'll go to you. Really? You just go
right to the fat joke. I hope you're fucking into that nice thing to you. Tell me why not. I should come in and eat your own stuff.
I'm sick of you kissing Tim's ass.
It's not going to happen.
I can't take it.
Tim's taking anybody's taking me.
OK.
Listen, tell Bonnie she doesn't have to write anything new.
Me and Jessica Kerson have had the same life.
Yes.
And if Tim takes you, Bob, you're going
to have to fucking fly cargo both of you.
First of all, I'll have a daughter with a heart problem. It doesn't matter. If Kim takes you Bobby you're gonna have to fucking fly cargo both you
I'll have a daughter with a heart problem. It doesn't
I Have a medical issue. Let's be honest
Whatever comes out of anything
It'll be a but high diabetes or I don't know whatever comes out of anything, it'll be a
but high diabetes, so I don't know, but it's gonna be a problem. Certainly a couple of
rashes. I think this is, I don't kiss ass. That's my problem in this business.
That's not your problem. You do kiss that. Never. Tim, let me tell you something. Voss is the fucking worst.
He's just a nice, funny guy.
Somebody who's got a little heat, he fucking wants to latch.
And now, I think the point of me is,
I don't even know who he is.
There's no heat.
Let me try to latch his wife onto that person.
You're right, I'm gonna send Bonnie over.
I wanna play golf.
Let fucking Bonnie do the writing.
I do love Bonnie.
I tell you, Bonnie is one of the top three things I miss about New York
the big
Sam and white fish-dalleted sails
and
The chicken parma quality Italian and then Bonnie because I really did this
Where's the chicken pump place again quality Italian 57 and sex. It's the one that's been pizza. Oh my God.
Okay.
That's the one thing.
If, first of all, if Tim ever did take one of us,
he's gonna take me because we can have lunch at least
and enjoy ourselves, all right.
Yeah.
What are you gonna have a salad and take a walk?
Shut up.
You have the heat of an igloo.
First of all, I fucking don't fail on stage, all right?
I fail. I know, but I'm a no fail act. I'm
never fail. I'm not. You're on it. You're on it. You're on it for the
vocabulary. I've seen you fail on our fucking tour. Never once. One time. No. I had some lady
walk out because I offended her. You were racist.
I wasn't racist.
You were racist.
You did 10 minutes of racist.
No, I said, I said, my daughter lives,
is married a black guy.
So I heard due to family.
That's what I said.
That's so funny.
That's so funny.
And now it's like, if you say that,
they'll try to make you into like a mass murder.
If you say that joke, it's hilarious.
The black people, the black people love. Listen, the other night I said, I went to a BLM mark.
Yeah. I go, I went to sell wings, but the black people fucking the white people are the ones that fucking ruin it for
everybody.
It's white women.
It's white women.
It is white women.
That is a good point.
They say, right, what I would say in this a couple of weeks ago when I got shit is I
was saying that white women are the the hecklers.
They're the ones that usually are yelling shit out of talking or on the phone during a show. I said 95% of the people
that cause trouble at comedy shows is usually some white chick. Whether it be a young hot chick or a
a fucking middle-aged chick who got divorced and you know got some issues with men. It's never a
black dude. It's very rarely a guy and it's never ugly people. When I do
my show at the pussy cat back a year and a half ago, I did a Tuesday show every week,
I told the people, the managers, everybody up front has to be me or uglier.
That's it. That's the real me or uglier up front. Hot people all get the back row. I don't want hot. I do not want
chits in the front row. Get the fuck out of here because they got to make it about them. Yes, this fucking lady
I was going to outside show she wouldn't shut the fuck up. I said, you know, on the p I go, can you stop people? You know, I go
I go, you're gonna have you're gonna have to leave because goes, I like to see you make me leave.
I go, that's true.
I don't have a fork lift.
And then you fucking left because I attacked her,
fucking disgustingness.
It's always the hot girls too,
that fucking want that attention.
Why is that though?
Why is, why the hot girls?
Because, I mean, you're gorgeous.
You get the bang.
You get guys buying you shit. There's so much of those that are hot girls because I mean you're gorgeous. You get the bang. You get guys buying
you shit. There's so much that everybody wants what they can't have. Those girls are, you
know, they're hot, but they want to be known for other things like the worst things in the
world are rich people who pretend to be poor and hot people who pretend they have something
to say.
Yes. and hot people who pretend they have something to say. Yes, I was the worst too.
Also too, the hot people have,
have always had the attention on them,
but when you're on stage,
the focus is on you and they can't handle
not having that attention.
It's pure fucking narcissism and fuck them, all right?
I'll, hang on one second.
Hey, mush, put Tom McLaughlin in time out for five minutes. He used an emoji just an emoji. I don't like that. What is he doing?
What is this guy doing? I just I'm just I don't he wants the bus balls. So I want a bus balls back have a little fun
Put him in timeout again. Goodbye. Gc. You want a bus balls back? What are you my uncle? Jesus?
Bus balls. Oh, you stink.
Are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?
What is this good fellas?
Are you talking? You know what?
Fucking kick Vos out too.
I like him.
Get him out.
Did you check him out?
Did you see special victims?
No, don't bring up fucking fun facts, Coxaka. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha I'm sorry. How do you like Austin? The city is a dump and it's shit and it's full of blue hair people.
But the surrounding area is nice.
Like the air, I'm 30 minutes out.
It's nice.
But the city of Austin itself is always sucked.
They think they're cool.
They're not.
The audiences are cool kids.
They all work in tech.
They've all got a lot of money.
They suck.
But I mean, the outskirts are nice,
and it's a lot less money to live here
in terms of taxes in New York and LA.
And Joe's opening a club,
and we hope that that should be really cool.
And we hope that good things happen.
When he opens his club,
what if he asks you to send a tape, would you be pissed off?
No, because at the end of the day,
it's like he's done enough for me that,
whenever he decides to stop doing, I will go, that's fine.
So Tim, if Ryan resulpened a club somewhere,
would you follow him?
Oh, there's a big difference between both of those guys.
If you go go to him, you go to him is actually a, you can actually go to
Forbes, you don't have to Google them.
I want to tell all the fans that,
good Gabby's going to be not on Waikid W. D anymore.
She's moving on. She's got a, you know, she's, I love Gabby.
She's my favorite.
I love her.
She was great.
She booked the show for a long time.
She helped produce the show for many years.
And she's got a lot of stuff going on.
She's wanted Emmy.
She's making documentaries.
She's got a pilot.
So, and of course, we got new Nikki.
New Nikki is the producer of the wicket
who is fucking kick ass.
But I, you know, I really love Gabby and all she did,
but she's got a lot of stuff going on right now.
So, what's that?
I don't know.
What is that? Who is that?
All girls check, I have no idea.
Fuck people are knocking. What the fuck is... what is that?
Gabby. Gabby. Oh shit.
What are you doing? Hi, Gabby.
Gabby. I was just... can I say Gabby?
You look incredible. Well, this is...
I'm so sorry Gabby, that...
Gabby, this is the most I've ever been a track.
I don't want to get... This seems like a moment for you two,
but I just need to say this.
This is the most I've ever been attracted to Gabby in my entire life.
I don't know what it is.
There's some kind of genocent qual about you right now, Gab.
And I'm going to try and keep it professional,
because we are co-workers. Yeah. some kind of genocent qual about you right now, Gab. And I'm gonna try and keep it professional
because we are co-workers.
Yeah.
But please, and to complete respect to the podcast,
but if I, Bobby just said how busy you are,
if you have time for like a dinner or a coffee or something,
you wanna like hang out, let me know.
And for that, I'll take my leave, but really,
you're ravishing.
You're filling that top out better than I've ever seen
you did in my life.
I'm better than you, Stavros.
Oh, okay.
You know what, I kind of like being domed by you too.
I'm gonna be honest with you,
it's really working for me right now.
Two years on the market.
Do you need money?
Yeah.
Do you need what's your Venmo?
I don't need anything.
Okay, great.
I have 13.4 K Instagram subscribers.
And I'm just here.
Wow, they're subscribing. Can you talk
into the mic though? Yeah, you bring his mic up a little bit because she's, I mean she,
she, I'm sorry that you're leaving the show. I'm just better than everybody, Bobby. Well,
I mean, I don't know. Well, I mean, that's look, I've read the comments. That's a character
choice. What do you mean you're better than everybody?
I've read a lot of negative comments,
I'm just not gonna take it anymore.
I'm moving on.
Well, what would the comments say?
They say I'm not funny.
Yeah, they say I chime in too much, right?
Or they say I don't chime in and off.
Don't bitch.
Oh, that was me after the show.
I just can't satisfy anybody.
So I'm moving on.
I feel the same way.
I honestly think you could probably satisfy me
the way you look right now.
There's something about you.
Something about you.
What?
She looked like the Greek guy.
Hahaha.
Yeah, that's what you started you on.
Yeah, she looks like every girl that ran her father's
restaurant in my neighborhood that I jacked off
to at Greek school.
Hahaha. The same, the same five o'clock shadow is my first crush
yeah sideburns long sideburns on a woman
so I'm so I'm sorry to overstep i'm being so horny plea you to have something to work out here it seems like
uh...
uh...
he looked great
uh... handsel and grotto would have been fucked if you're the witch bomb there's no way you're letting those little
mother fuckers get away
you're having your having to handle souffle quick.
We're having bulgogi handsel later on later tonight
if you're the witch.
Yeah.
No problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's no way.
You're eating the bread crumbs that they left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I mean, you got it. Yes, Bobby. I just heard pharamones are really doing it for me.
I don't even have to look at it or just,
I guess it's all over.
I mean, if you do, you want to date get out of shape.
Yeah.
Are you available?
What's up?
Are you single right now, Gab?
I'm single.
Molly's single.
You're always single?
Is that a choice on your end?
I thought you had a boyfriend.
I can date whoever I want.
Wow.
You hear that, Bob?
Yeah.
How you doing?
Are you looking for some side dick perhaps?
Side dick, front dick, back dick.
Really?
Back dick.
Back dick.
What's back dick?
It comes from behind.
Oh, behind dick.
You mean in the ass?
I think back to be like to be fucked in your fucking
you know, you're spine.
Yeah, maybe.
You like, oh. If that's what you know, you're spying. Yeah, maybe.
If that's what you need, I'll go in between your, your, your,
your vertebrae.
Yeah, yeah.
You showed the blade, fucker.
Whatever you need.
I mean, it's not funny.
If you,
I'm surprised they haven't invented a new,
a vertebrae job.
Well, I, I, I've done,
I've, I've eaten armpit. Mm-hmm, sure. Pussy and finger-banged. You finger-b've eaten armpit,
like pussy and finger banged.
You finger banged an armpit.
No, so you finger banged.
Yes.
And then you eat the armpit like a pussy.
I love that.
And that was weird, but it really got the girl off.
And here's the thing.
Is that a thing?
It wasn't me, it was her thing.
Of course, of course.
That was like I invented that.
I'd love to take full credit for that.
If you're the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been studying the Arachina zones and you used the armpit that did it, of course. I was like, I invented that. I would love to take full credit for that. If you're the A, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've been studying the Erogynous zones and you've used the armpit that did it, but
no.
You had some very specific instructions you followed, if you could.
Yes, I had very, very exact.
I mean, I would wonder if there's, if you could, I had a girl one time just, we can have
sex, but just in my butt cheeks.
Cheeks?
A cheek job.
Yeah, she told me she put cream in her cheeks.
And I could,
was she Mormon?
Was someone, you don't put your dick in her butt cheek
because you wanted to jump on the bed.
No, she got it out.
She had a very good booty.
You know, so I put the cream in her,
she did it, she put cream, she literally reached her out
and she said just fuck my cheeks. Interesting. And she did it, she put cream. She literally reached her out and she said, just fuck my cheeks.
Interesting.
And I did that and it was phenomenal.
You remember, too.
I was banging during AIDS.
Sure.
So this was nice.
This is, there was a, there was a,
Yeah, pregnancies.
Regancies.
All that shape.
A piece of mind to know a penetration.
Before Plan B, we had to,
you had to pay like 600 to get rid of it.
Oh, dude, you fucked after AIDS before Plan B.
One of the worst times to be a slut.
Wow, dude, that's fucking impressive, honestly.
I'm gonna take my cap to you.
As I knew you were a compulsive sex haver.
And you did it in the most dangerous inconvenient time.
I did the Vietnam most fucking being a slut.
Absolutely.
Oh, I got it easy.
I'm desert storm being a slut.
I'm drone-slutting right now.
There's no fucking danger for me.
I'm sitting somewhere.
There's nothing.
I'll never, I never want to ever get pregnant.
I've never had a disease.
Yeah.
I've been eligible, but I'm just in love.
We used to get crabs and throw them on each other.
I was just fucking, dude. Stop, stop stop. Ah fuck you. It's just crap. Yeah, yeah, crabs was nothing
He he no nothing. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. I don't know what I would do
Yeah, I remember so when you could do something sexually that was a little different. We didn't know where I mean
You you'd go home the next day be like man. I know she has a
You'd go home the next day be like man, I know she has AIDS
Yeah, yeah, there's no way armpits is where she started
She's not that's not at the top of her list
She just pussy an asshole was out of the commission. So she's just like go ahead and just finger pop me Where are these gloves by the? Where are these yellow dishwasher's gloves? Why do you do it?
It's definitely somebody with AIDS.
Hey, can you fuck my armpit?
What do you think about that, Gabs?
Yeah, yeah. I'm done. Are you interested in getting an armpit job?
What cream will we use? What does that mean?
What you said you fucked her ass with the cream?
Yeah, what is it? What do you mean?
Pool whip. No, it was a cream like a sex cream lotion of some lotion.
Okay.
Yeah, nothing from the refrigerator.
Well, I think she's calling you fat Bob.
Oh, I thought why would you fat shame me in them?
That's not like you.
Was it?
She's new.
She's getting improved.
Keep doing it. Keep going. I can hear you. I got it. There's new she's giving improved keep doing it Keep going back in here
There's something in the head you know what maybe these new producers not that good some
It's not me do a kitty cat. Yeah I can hit you
Stop that actually does
I don't know why you the cutest little chubby cat and I've ever seen oh my god
Thank you so much
Why are you sitting over there?
Why was I supposed to sit there?
Yes.
No, that's good.
Yeah.
What's up with all the sexual tension?
You guys immediately start talking about old beages?
Well, two of the best sets of lips in the business.
Man, it is true.
I have got a lips in low.
You don't know.
No, no, no.
No, Bobby's are better.
I have a lips in you.
I have a heart.
We already settled it.
I have way better lips than you do. I have a whole lot of the ladies in the crowd. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, If I win, you have to kiss my dead toenail. What if Lewis wins?
What if you, if I win, you have to kiss my dead toenail.
Absolutely.
And I have to.
Do we all have dead toenails?
No, I'm not dead toenails.
Hey, I'm just going to throw this out there, Jill.
I don't know if you have a dead one, but I have one I can toss into the pot.
All my toenails are alive.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, I want to put some of these hobbit feet in there.
Oh my god, dude.
Samurai is ganging up in the bathroom.
Why the fuck?
God.
Check him for a ring.
Yeah.
The wire oldest toes are weird legs.
Look, they're hypnotizing you.
You have a fucking monkey foot.
Yeah, dude, I could pick up this water.
Oh, no.
This is appalling.
Look at that toe.
Look at that one.
Like, you can see.
Let me see.
Let me see.
That's what he's going to have to kick.
You promise you, no, look at this.
You can't really see it.
Look at the brown, and then it goes to black.
Bobby, that's what he's going to say.
Please don't pop your hip out.
Look at that.
Look at that one.
Oh, it's like, oh, great. Look at that. Look at that one. Oh, it's like three.
Look at that.
It's like, we're going to fuck a grind.
Mine's dead on the outside and then in the middle it dies again.
How do we judge who has the most sensual lips?
I have to be the one.
I see the women in the crowd by the way.
I do like you should have to kiss the stomach of a fan.
No. I say I say I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think Oh yeah, you're the kiss side me. No. We got to dry off first. All right, you guys pick.
You guys pick.
We can pick who you're going to kiss.
Yes.
Raise your hand if you want to be tested on by these women.
We got one right there.
We got a woman, and it's all guys.
Yeah.
Oh no, you have to pick a dude.
No, pick this hot old lady.
No.
All right, look at this fucking coug in the front row.
She's not old at all.
She's like 28 years old.
I will let the fans feel them with their fingers.
I don't want to let them.
It's a fucking pandemic.
You need my lips with your fingers.
I'm not letting your fans touch my lips.
Why don't you like the black kid and hook?
Yeah.
Like there you are, Peter.
Group, uh-huh, that kid.
Yeah, two.
Your lips are the best.
I talk about your lips every night before I go to bed.
I have good lips.
Great lips.
No, I don't buy a round of applause.
The women should decide who has better lips.
We do a lip model off.
Okay, let's go.
Let's go.
Gang of women in the front.
Yeah, okay.
You look at these fucking sluts.
Hell yeah.
I mean, I don't think they're sluts.
I think they're fine young women that know what good lips look like.
They're volunteers at a local hospital.
These fucking pigs, no way.
Those are pigs.
They're fucking Puerto Ricans, or do they not put a riggins in?
They don't have Puerto Ricans in fucking use, then they're Mexicans.
No, first of all, nobody is from Texas.
Everyone flew to be here.
Woo!
Where are you from?
Los Angeles, they're from Mexico.
Are you Puerto Ricans?
What are you?
They're from Mexico.
You're Mexican.
Exactly.
You can tell she's Mexican.
You guys came from LA, where'd you guys come from?
Say, I'm talking about the band.
I'm a refugee ship.
I was so fast. To like California like
New Jersey move on. He's called the Swats ass hole. I'm a fucking
Stab you. Bigs. We're part of New Jersey. I live right near New Brunswick. Oh
I'm gonna fucking try to fuck these shit.
Yeah. Did you just realize that everything you were saying was being recorded and you were on stage?
And your girlfriend is right over there.
One of them is right over there.
She's right there.
No, she's damn.
Alright, so we're gonna do round of applause from the four women in the audience.
Five.
Really?
Are you in sweetie?
Yeah, could you be a little more enthusiastic?
So I said we do a lip model off.
The straight out, you fuck as your lip model.
Yeah, but what does that consist of?
You pose like you're going to be able to do lip poses.
I always try to do lip poses as they speak the whole time.
I just noticed that.
You.
You're looking at me.
So what you're saying?
He's giving you full LL Cool J video.
Yo, I put my jacket over a puddle.
So, but how are they going to know?
Shouldn't we kiss him on the lips?
I mean, not on the lips, on the cheek.
I'm the pussy.
No.
We kiss your pussy.
His lady is good up here.
I'm not kissing. Come on LL. I'm not I'm not I'm not
kissing you brunswick pussy okay. Not okay. Ruggers pussy. I'm not saying
thanks. I say we have to kiss them on the cheek and let them feel the softness
because your lips aren't as soft as mine. There's a lady in this room that can take down this entire festival.
I don't feel turned up.
I will say that there's probably a non-measurable amount of difference in softness between our lips.
Inmeasurable.
Non-measurable.
Your lips are thick.
You got like thick ones.
Thick, Puerto Rican.
Look at all the ladies getting wet as you see.
They're plump.
They're fucking, dude, look at the buns,
look they're sliding out of their chair right now.
Your lips aren't good, man.
Your bottom lip is too big.
Yes, fat.
Your bottom stomach is too big.
Whoa!
Yeah, but the top one's just right. Can I get a Makers on the rocks from the green room?
I wish I didn't have a top stomach.
From the green room, a Makers on the rocks, somebody on my staff.
How about this painting? That's insane.
Yeah, he's probably... He's been in Kingpin.
Could you look like Deathstroke?
You know you can make me a little thinner, right?
You don't have to do fucking real life.
No, Bobby, Bobby, the paint adds ten pounds.
You got to use some paint thinner.
Let's good.
Thanks guys.
Maybe I'll have a cigar and celebrate.
Yeah, I want a cigar too.
Yeah, give him a little more time.
Yeah!
A cigar for the end.
Yeah, big time.
That was really scary.
Did anybody notice?
I think Dan's in a abusive relationship.
Lewis went to high five.
Dan went like this.
But you know, Lewis, you know, the guy that shadow boxes an inch from your face all the
time, you tend to flinch.
Can I tell Lewis's story?
Lewis and I work out at the same MMA gym.
And thank you.
Oh, I heard a woman make a noise.
That was fun.
And Lewis go, I don't want to spar Lewis.
He's a higher level than I am.
And he's crazy.
And he weighs 150 pounds more than me.
So I said, he goes, no, I'll just do defense.
You just throw punches, and I'll block them.
So I'm like, OK, we can do that.
I'm doing it for like 30 seconds.
And Lewis just fucking punches me in the face.
And I go, what are you doing?
And he goes, I gotta throw some punches.
I'm like, what?
So I tell the other part of this,
I'm like, you threw a fake kick and slow motion.
And I checked it.
And his dude, the impact was,
I'm gonna be kidding you was this.
And it floored Joe.
He fell down from the pain.
And he was like,
I'm gonna be kidding you.
I'm gonna be kidding you. I'm gonna be kidding you. I'm gonna be kidding you. I'm gonna be kidding well, I'm gonna be kidding you was this.
And it floored Joe, he fell down from the pain.
I was a distance runner, I have sensitive shins.
If anyone's ever ran a lot of miles on cement, it takes a toll on your shins.
But no, I was upset like a bitch.
It really, it's on video, it's on Instagram or YouTube or something.
It was literally, this is how hard I kicked him.
And I showed the instructor and I was like, can you look at this?
Because I think something's on.
And he was like, I don't, there's not even like kind of a mark.
It was bad.
But then you punched me when you said you wouldn't.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Remember that story? Well, I mean what happens is eventually, you know, your instincts just kick in.
What instincts?
To punch the weekend.
To a ugly person.
Yeah.
You instinct.
Wait.
Does that make sense?
I'm like it.
I did it all right.
You instinct.
That was fun.
I got a lettuce on it.
Somebody carry the show for a minute
It's your lighter it's not mine. Is it really? No, it's Pacos. Oh
Paco can I have that back?
I said you're the best lips.
I can use a match, because I have a match.
You are facing my ass.
Bobby, are we gonna do a model off?
Yeah, I'm gonna do a model off.
But I think, what are we gonna do?
We're just gonna show it.
Yeah, I think we should play the sexy, I'm a model. You know what. Yeah, we like to look and model off. Yeah, we're with the catwalk right it work
Work yeah work our lips to the lady wait. Wait. Do I have to get up and move? Yeah
Go see some sweaty lips. Can't we do it sitting?
Holy shit, that is your plan that is your plan for everything
That's a third question on anything What is it sitting Holy shit, that is your plan, that is your plan for everything.
That's this third question on anything.
What is it sitting?
I hate you.
I know.
But God is our sexual tension palpable.
Why can't we plant one on somebody so they can feel it?
What, Bobby, fine, if you really want to kiss one of these people we can do it, but
it's weird, dude.
Not kissing on the lit, on the cheek. What Bobby fine if you really want to kiss one of these people we can do it, but it's weird dude not
Kiss him on the lit on the cheek. I
Think a body shot off of a fucking 400 pound man earlier today
I think we just found our solution Who wants free shots?
I'm not worried about kissing somebody's cheek. I'm just saying I feel like they're gonna get a better gauge for his better lips
And also all the ladies on the ground can participate in the fucking applause a meter
This is a plasmeter a plasometer
All right, let's do it whatever I don't give you shugo first. No you go first you go first
I don't want to do it. I don't know what the fuck you would walk back and would you afraid?
Now I'm not afraid of you.
You're afraid of my heart.
You're about to talk to you when you're going first on your own podcast.
I'm not going first.
You go first.
I'm a mom.
Rock paper says it, man.
You didn't know what?
Rock paper says it, man.
I'm not rock.
Lewis.
Look it.
Lewis.
The people have spoken.
Lewis.
Work it, girl.
Now they're saying Lewis is right, Bobby.
Go first.
No, they're not. They want you to go. I appreciate you, Lewis. it girl. They're saying Lewis is right Bobby go first. No, they're not I want you to go. I appreciate you guys go first
That's overwhelming is there any music do we have any mute?
Can you?
First
Nobody
Like that
Work it
Get up here let him him see. Let him see it, dude.
Are you really?
Good, good stop.
Dude, face model.
Face model.
I'm two six.
Six.
Two side profile.
Yeah. Sticking And I stick it.
Move it.
Look over.
Yeah.
Showed, relaxed fit.
Now give me, I'm yelling at a cab driver.
Now give me, at food delivery driver
Now give me sexual harassment of Shannon
Be fat I think we can all admit that Lewis worked it
There you go we were sitting I think we can all admit that Lewis worked it. Yeah! Yeah!
Ladies, have we ever seen it?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, you might have just fucked first of all.
I think you might have just crushed loose.
Now, yeah, first of all, Bobby, you're getting all of the dude vote.
That's fine.
Dude, this is the Swiss, this room of all my sexier.
Look at my lips.
He just changed my lips.
Woo!
You made him sexy, man.
Yeah, I made him sexy.
Look at that. Wow. You like it,. You made him sexy. Look at that.
Wow.
You like it too, don't you?
Look at Lex, what's a kiss, G-I-J-O. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I didn't watch Breaking Bad until last year. I didn't watch the wire until like five years after it was done.
And now I just started watching the sopranos.
All right, so I've still never seen the sopranos.
You've never seen the sopranos?
Oh, it's the best.
I've only watched the first couple episodes
and then the finale.
Why?
Because it was too much to try to catch up.
I'm like, all right, let me just see
what the hardest thing ends.
The CF, I really want to watch the journey up into this.
No, that's a bad sell.
Yeah.
Right at the end, you're like, yeah.
But it was a great series to ending fucking.
Yeah, the end of the house where they go,
like whatever, Brecky, you end up marrying so and so.
Yeah.
You went straight to that and surprised me.
Yeah, I did that. And I was like, yeah, I don't really care.
They ended the surprise.
They ruined the fan life.
Yeah, it was, they didn't make no sense.
They ruined it.
Yeah.
They mentioned our hometown in surprise.
They threatened to kill a stripper there.
So what is hometown?
Coltsnack, New Jersey.
Oh, that's strong.
Yeah, it's a really good show.
And you know what?
It was, it was a woke show.
Like they were, I'm telling you.
They were dealing with shit.
The thing, the thing about woke,
they had one guy come out and they were physically awake.
They had a gay mafia guy.
One of the guys was gay.
He got found out that he was gay.
And Tony was, he was like, listen,
they guy, he was trying to save his life,
going they got gazed,
Navy seal, who gives a shit
and he got pressured so hard to,
like all these other guys
and then he started, they were bringing up God
and he was like, let me tell you something,
what we do, you're comparing what we do
to what he does, like he's not going to heaven,
but we are, like he was,
it was fucking weird to see that in a mob movie.
I didn't know that that guy was, you know, pretty well,
and the new movie was, was that?
They did kill him.
Oh, they definitely killed him, yeah.
You can't have a game, I'll be a guy.
No, no, you're out.
Yeah, you got to lose wrist.
He's gone this now.
Well, they caught him.
Thanks, Ben Row.
It was one of the most shocking fucking scenes in any TV shows I've ever watched, You got a loose wrist. He's gone this name. Well, they caught it. Thanks, Monroe.
Right.
It was one of the most shocking fucking scenes
in any TV shows I've ever watched
is because you got all these mafia guys, right?
You remember the scene.
So the daughter,
spoiffer and shows up on the construction site way early.
Yeah.
And he's nothing would do with the mafia, nothing.
He's just dating Tony's daughter. He shows up early and he looks and there's nothing would do with a mafia, nothing. He's just dating Tony's daughter.
He shows up early and he looks and there's a guy guy,
security guard like this and his truck.
And then all of a sudden one of the fucking head captains
of the family head comes up and he's just sucking
the security guard's dick.
Do they call them captains?
He was a captain in the, yes.
Yeah, in the mob?
In the mob, yeah.
They have captains in all that.
Yeah, it seems gay.
Already, everybody's like a safe place.
If they got nicknames and they all wear suits and shit,
it seems like the right place for a gay guy to be.
Not a time.
That's funny.
That's the same.
But you just have to have uniforms and nicknames?
I'm saying the mob, everybody's wearing a suit.
They're really flashy.
Like, you're the club?
Yeah, they got bro love.
Like, they kiss each other on the cheek.
Because they're like, what's the problem with what he's doing?
Every time I go to Italy, I'm like, how is it okay?
Yeah.
That's how it's all.
It was shocking, man.
It was like, what the fuck?
And I remember when it was such a funny writing,
because they were like, so the guy, remember when it was so it was such a funny writing because they were like so
The guy the kid was telling them what happened and he was like
So he was the security guard when he was blowing. He's like no no no no no no
He was sucking the secure he was going down on the security guard. They were like
What the fuck like that made such a big difference? Like they were almost going to accept it if he was getting
in the guy, but then they're like, what do you was, he was
pitching or something like that.
It was like so fun.
Yeah.
Fucking great.
Great job.
Well, that was the woke moment.
It was a lot of them in there, man.
Yeah.
You know, I tell you, I said this, yeah, they fucking had a
acidic guy. And this is the funny thing about the Jews? Yeah, they fucking had a Hasidic guy.
And this is the funny thing about that.
They were gonna beat, this kid, the father wanted him killed
or beat up.
No, the Jew.
Wanted to beat up because.
Who doesn't?
I'm a Jew, I can say that.
Oh, okay, I got to pass.
I got to follow him.
All right, yeah, I was like,
wow, that guy's a fuck.
No, no, no. He says nothing all show. I'm on the Oh, yeah, I was like, you're like, wow, that guy's a f**k. No, no, no.
He said nothing all show.
I said, I'm on the team.
Yeah, I was like,
well Yankees, yeah, this side of the table,
very Jew heavy, but I put the Jews over here.
Jew is heavy.
Wow.
Wow, that's a pretty good one.
Yeah, I like that.
Is this my gun or is he just talking like a little Jew?
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, he, they're gonna kill him.
Oh, no, beat him up to get the money back.
And he just took the beat and he's like,
you're gonna have to kill me
because I'm never giving you what is mine.
Which is money.
And it was money.
And they wound up giving up.
Like they were like, what the fuck?
This guy.
Wait through the Jews beat Tony's crew.
Yeah, like just by saying fuck it.
And they came up with a deal and they stole his money
And then his steal his money they were hired to get why do you say something?
Fucking to
hired muzzle tough. I'm O. C. Lech. I mean, go ahead. Did they kill them? No, the end of killing the Jew people
the end of killing the Jew people. The Jew people.
The Jew is a Jew people.
He's like, I can get back.
The Jew is grew.
A people.
A people.
Men row sweating.
They're black.
Are there any blacks in the surprise?
Yeah, they have a couple.
Are we still food?
No.
Not the movie, dude.
The new movie is.
It's serious.
It's half, I mean's it's half about the
uh... black people in the uh... and the black mob yeah the black mob but how
it started all that shit yeah i like that movie i heard it was why did you
like it why didn't you like it i don't know it's just what movie uh... soprano
movie have a
same thing of uh...
new work you don't know that this is a fucking soprano's movie? Yeah, it just was unnecessary.
I was watching it and I was like,
this didn't wrap up any loose ends.
He watched four episodes, you wouldn't know anything.
Yeah.
Is anyone watching?
Yeah, you don't have an experience.
Does anyone watch?
Absolutely. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no What is that? What is it because Dan Soder and Christus that Christus said was like you got a fucking watch squid game
Like it's fucking crazy, so I
Christus
And you're good general. Let me see you're very good. That was not
I know I actually do a pretty good Christus stuff. Here we go. Let's do it. I don't know. I know I'm thinking like
I'm
Can't call someone Cuzz or Kiz.
Cuzz. Cuzz. Cuzz.
Maybe.
Say B.
Let him go.
Um, anyways, I finished it today.
I, you can finish it.
What is it about?
I don't understand what it's about. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so don't know what you're talking about. No, the show is like, I mean, not to give too much away.
It's just like a group of people find themselves on this, in this place where they're playing
games.
And if you don't beat the game, you die.
And it's like a whittling it down kind of thing.
Is it real?
It's a cake room in Saul.
Well, it's in the commercial.
I mean, that's in the, it's like every other game.
I can't, we didn't hear it.
Where you said, because everyone was talking at the same time. It's like, to me, if I explain that's the sounds like every other game. I can't we didn't hear what you said because everyone's talking the same. Sorry
It's like to me if I explain it. It's like
Saw an escape room mixed in together, but with a lighter with a lighter
Competition lose there's like everyone is there. There's no murder. There is
Why there is like only murder that's like the whole thing you play these games
There's a bunch of people there because they are in financial debt near ruin their lives and other people spoilers
That's a porla than mine
They're pit if they pitched the show this is what they would say without giving it away
If they pitched the show, this is what they would say without giving it away. This is like in a scripture. I give away a lot, dude.
Then I don't know how to explain this shit. Yeah, well,
he's just having this. He's not a fudge.
White belt. Everybody's like so far. It's Asian white belt would murder or American Ninja Warrior with murder.
That's it. I like it. Yeah. So this is not real. No, it's not.
No, it'd be great. That'd be great. great Who's real people really being worthy on an island? So never watching that while while while country
Remember while while country. No, what's that oh show those that's cult?
It was like a big Netflix show like
Three years ago four years ago. Damn, but everybody thought it's cult and I'm like this is made up
It sounded so real, but I'm like no one's ever heard of oh you talking about the Indians
Jesus up. It sounded so real, but I'm like no one's ever heard of it. Oh, you're talking about the Indians. Jesus. No, there was Indian. He was Indian. Yeah, he was an Indian. Yeah. Wait, can't say Indians.
He was from India, right? The Indians. Yeah. Is that what it is with it took over the town? Yeah,
it took over. That was real. Yeah, but it did. I was like this has to be scripted because I've
never heard of it. Oh, yeah. There yeah. There's one cult took over this town.
They bought a ranch.
A fancy people.
But no, they would say how big is the town?
They bought 80 acres or 500 acres on a ranch
in the middle of fucking nowhere.
And they went into the town, and the people will like,
fuck you, don't ruin our little town.
And they were like, okay, fuck you.
And they just bought property as it came up.
And then they just kept spending money on property.
They bought the whole town mainly.
Then when they did votes, they were the majority in the town.
So they just changed the names of the streets.
They changed the local store to like how Bucci,
Wawi, or that meant fucking love or some shit. They changed the local store to like Habuichi Wawi or that meant fucking love or something.
They changed everything.
And the fucking old people were like flipping out.
It was a weird movie, but then of course,
internally they turned on each other.
Murder, more murder.
Netflix was murder.
Somebody got murdered, right?
Everything is murder.
Netflix is murder.
Yeah.
Even let's go look at pet tigers
and like how about some murder in there?
The British Bake off the next season
Murder by K. If you look For the for this star Baker this week goes to an congrats and I have the unfortunate news to tell who is going
That's the impressions were used to yeah, that's it. I gotta shoot them. That's the impressions we're used to.
Yeah, that's it.
You got to wake up.
Ah, he called me to what a fucking just garbage.
Yeah, he's an asshole.
He really is just garbage.
It's cold back.
Oh, man, there he is.
Okay, why would you hang up?
I didn't get it was an action.
Wait, I was asking asking can you hear me because
you're on our podcast right now oh we're on my wife hate me yes well you're on ykwd with
Adam for hour and and joe de rosa hi adam hi why you rich hi bye is this about restaurants and
stuff this is it you don't need to take shots at bob why cuz you Why cuz you rich you trying to book more gigs yeah yeah
Oh
I don't get it because I work restaurants he says yeah
I was in bad well not he says yeah everybody says yeah you got yeah everybody says it and you know get it
Bonnie cuz you're successful
Well you know what dude when Joe just smashed me about comedy,
he really, you know, no one cuts an onion
as good as Joe's.
So, I'm not.
I'm fucking hot peppers.
I can't hot peppers.
I mean, Bobby, what's up?
This is gonna be a special hot peppers.
Wait for what she said. She said that's gonna be a special
Which is what she said that's gonna be a special hot peppers
But I was being nice because obviously he's not gonna get a special
Bonnie Bonnie's cutting with a knife right now really came back with fucking pent up Boston energy didn't you? All right, what do you got?
Bobby we were talking about
The movement you love so much. Yeah, but yeah, bone Tomahawk. Yes, I'm a hot bone that we watched last night It's bone Tomahawk not Tomahawk bone
Bone Tomahawk, which probably gonna go in your backside tonight
Not not why do you love it so much?
Because it's a fucking masterpiece, Rich.
It's a masterpiece, yes.
Wait, so do you agree with that, too?
Yes.
Haven't seen it, Bobby, you told me to see it less
than I haven't seen it yet.
Listen to me, yeah.
Do you remember, and it might be Hartfeeter, remember,
do you remember the scene when a little kid was killed in the
in the barn, right?
Yeah.
Get dead.
They were going to go into the barn.
The three guys, they had rifles like they were going to
barn.
Who's gonna remember that?
Yeah.
It looked like the three stoochers were running into a barn.
He made the three stooches.
Yeah. He put an R on the end. Yeah. Stoochers were running into a barn. He made the three stooches.
He put an R on the end.
Yeah.
Stoochers.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Yeah, but because back then, dude,
it's not like everybody was John Wayne.
You know, there was Indians that were around
and they were scared.
They were frightened.
They were running into the garage.
Like it was almost like a silent movie.
It was, how is it a classic?
They didn't say it was a classic.
We said it was a masterpiece.
It was a masterpiece.
It was unbelievable.
It was one of the best Westerns I've ever seen.
What about Adam for our next?
Why?
Rich Neckstack, God damn David, I had a good slam.
He said it was for the best westerns I ever seen.
It said next to Omelette.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Next to Omelette.
Wow.
Jesus, not only was it a good show show you read your fucking practice menu
Show me those sandwiches
Hi Bonnie, how are you? I
Ask Adam a few sort I did not see it. No, I didn't see Adam's favorite movie is Mike cousin Vinnie
That's a masterpiece
movie is my cousin Vinnie. Let's say.
That's a masterpiece to him.
You like the new Ghostbusters, right?
You said you saw that.
The new Ghostbusters was a lot of fun, yeah.
Yeah, it was.
I mean, it really showed, really stuck
into those women that it was.
Yeah, their movie scene.
Oh, all right.
Franchise is over.
Not really.
Well, listen, we got, I don't think it was a masterpiece by any such the one good
scene was where they split the guy in half uh and you got to be more spoiler-less
with people listening that want to go see the movie rich see it I haven't seen it yet
it's Bobby Jassori's all excited about about it. When they were screaming and then you found out
how they were screaming, that wasn't fucking crazy.
And the fact that when the girl...
Yeah, I just put Joe's whistles in there.
I just...
They sounded like you.
Oh, that was good.
Hey, it's a masterpiece. It's a western. Oh, that was good.
Hey, it's a masterpiece.
It's a western.
It's a great western.
And I thought it was unbelievable.
And it was very realistic to probably how it was back then.
You know what, baggage me about that is that they have the phone still has a B B B B.
Yeah, fuck it.
You know what I love?
That you spelled
Rich's last name with an extra S.
Reboises?
Yeah, I do that.
Because that's the way he would say it.
Foss.
Yeah.
Ha, ha, ha.
Um.
Can I tell you what bothers me?
What?
Yeah, I know what bothers you.
Before we get started.
I know what bothers you.
But a lot of things fucking bother you.
Oh, God.
You can be, yeah.
Fucking lippy woman. bother you. Oh God. You can be fucking lippy woman
Lippy woman
Might be sure what are the things you like? Was that a good show? I want to tell you what bothers me about the show. Go ahead about my show. Yeah, yeah right now
My show let me tell you. Yeah, let me tell you I
Can't stand that you don't use my music anymore. I
I can't stand that you don't use my music anymore.
I hate that you were placed what was like sort of an interesting,
different kind of podcast theme
with what everybody does, which is like,
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
That bothers me.
It bothers me that I'm nowhere to be found in that montage.
You're in it.
You're in it.
The very end.
You're in it.
You're in it.
You're in that.
What am I, what do I say? You're in it, right? Play it again, please. No, don't, don't, play it again. You're in it. The very end. You're in it. You're in it. You're in that. What am I in it?
You're in it, right?
Play it again, please.
No, don't, don't, don't.
Play it again.
You're in it.
I made sure you're in it.
Fucking Stevie Ravel.
All right, can we, can we get the original?
Do you have the original, right?
Much, look, most just panicked.
Because I asked him to do his job.
Any other producer, like, yeah, let me find it.
Most goes, oh, he's gonna kill me
You're an intimidating intimidating guy, you know who said that I'm saying you're intimidating. I'm not saying I'm not you're not intimidating You're just angry here it comes again
Yes, you know, I got Bonnie was out of masterpiece and she goes it was a good movie, but do
Real quick remember when they were lifting the guys up into the cave with the rope?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, how they got them into the cave, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
How did a fucking guy with one leg get up there?
You just see him up in the cave with a gun.
All right, how did he get there?
They cut his leg off after he was up there.
What?
We can cut his leg off. he was up there. What?
He can cut his leg off.
What?
What?
Now he's talking about,
oh Richard, a husband.
Oh yeah.
From the conjuring.
Wow, Patrick Wilson.
Patrick, he got up there.
His leg was fucked up.
How did he get himself up?
They had to drag those other guys up.
Right.
And how did they get him up?
Buddy, I'm sure there was a
mark. There was stairs. I'm sure they have stairs.
He would have had trouble navigating stairs as well. Yeah, I know, but the timeline, maybe
it took him six hours. I mean, who knows? I mean, it was a fucking great movie. You're talking about one part. I agree with you that part.
It's just be clear on that.
All right, yes. All right, it was. Hold on. Wait. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do the FaceTime. You accidentally hit the FaceTime button.
I apologize.
Oh, I can't. He keeps hanging up. We're now mad.
What's wrong with you now?
Nothing. Just listen. What's wrong? First of all, I'll tell you right now. I don't like you. I don't like you.
I own a bar deep voice. It was. I don't like you. Nothing. Was that you? I don't like you. I'm not your voice. Yeah, he's got like a manly voice now that he's, he's has a fucking brick and mortar.
Hey, look at you. No, it's it's just from too many cigarettes.
Listen to it.
Oh, nothing.
I'm not doing it on purpose.
It's not doing it on purpose.
It could be a polyp.
So you got that clip.
You have that clip?
He says, yeah, I don't need you to communicate.
Just play it.
He says, yeah, I got it.
Thanks.
Good, thanks, man. Glad you got it. I mean, yeah, I got it. Thanks. Good thanks, man.
I'm glad you got it.
I mean, it's almost a thing now, where my,
I just like when you get angry,
I just, it's like, can I play this clip?
Yeah, we got it.
And then I say you got the clip.
Yeah, we got it.
It's like, what?
Not yet.
What is not yet?
No, that's what he said.
That's what I have left. No, he didn't say yes. He said not yet? No, that's what he said. No, I'm talking about.
I'm laughing.
No, he didn't say yes.
He said not yet, which is why I started laughing.
And you thought he said yes.
Oh, hey.
That's what I was laughing at.
What is the other clip that I said?
Nicole.
Oh, that's.
Oh, I hate you.
Oh, forget it.
This is the message Joe left me on my phone.
This made me laugh.
No, okay.
I played this 10 times.
And go.
Yeah, I left you this at very early in the morning.
Dude, I woke up at 8 a.m. today to cook a side of roast beef.
I am just finished in comedy.
I want that to be your ringtone.
That's where I'm at now. I'm at these days. 8 a.m. you cooked a big fat roast
beef. Yeah. I didn't know you were cooking the food. Now I usually don't but
but I needed to make a roast beef because we ran out fast and I thought we
would so the I didn't have time to get it from the place that cooks it for us
usually.
That's the one thing that I was talking to Keith and Louis smash and you know that.
Yeah, he's an asshole. Why is he an asshole? First of all, yes he is. Second of all, why?
He comes down an opening night at like 8 p.m. He's like, I want to say it. So I'm like, we sold out.
The first day we sold out.
He's like, how the fuck are you gonna sell out of sales?
It's like, that's how product works stupid.
You fucking moron.
Try going by a PS5 on opening day
and then go and yell at the Walmart lady.
How the fuck are you gonna sell out of PS5?
It's called supply and demand, you dumb fuck.
Can you not, I'm not Keith.
I know.
But you're yelling at me like this.
But he's so dumb.
He needs to get his phone.
But first of all, don't compare yourself
to Sony PlayStation.
You know what I'm saying.
You're a sandwich shop, it's gaba goal.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but we make our own roles.
Yeah, but you could have, you make your own roles there.
We don't make them there, we have to make them off site,
but we bake our own bread
Where do you bake them? Hey, and the reason we didn't have extra rolls or reason we ran out is because we don't fucking keep them overnight
We bake them for that day
So yeah, but that's retarded. No, it's not so you're gonna run out of sandwiches every day
No on the first day when we're trying to figure out how many we gonna sell and you're guessing
Yeah, maybe we ran out of sandwiches at some point. How many sandwiches do you make? Don't phrase it like you run out, you sold out.
That's what I'm saying.
You sold out of sandwiches.
I don't know, we did like 50 that day.
50 sandwiches individually or in a bucket
when people just grab a sandwich.
Oh, no, we sold 50.
Because I saw a tray of sandwiches.
The tray was at the private event.
So you sold out?
So he didn't get a sandwich.
No, he did. because somebody that had a sandwich
to go gave them his sandwich.
Somebody who bought a sandwich.
Somebody who felt so sorry.
Was it, please that would be a white girl.
White guy.
White guy, even better.
It looked like a cop.
A cop.
Oh, even better.
Yeah.
Gave Keith his, Keith, barely even said thank you. He just took it and ate it.
But he barely can. I know. So let's just a fucking idiot.
What was the sandwich? I think it was an E.C.
All right, we got to go.
I'm sorry that the shows are off to a little rocky road because a stupid boss called up.
He really just derailed. He derails everything.
And then you have Bonnie in the background
just throwing in zingz.
Yeah, I wrote for the Oscars.
Shut up, Bonnie.
Pfft.
Pfft.
He's his.
We have the old theme ready.
I never wanted to throw something in somebody's mouth.
We have the old theme, ready?
Don't peek around the monitor at me.
Mushy, go ahead, what do you got, buddy? Let me hear it.
Can we hear it lower? It's too loud.
What's that playing, oh? Why is my voice?
See this is like an original
It's got a nice groove to it.
Yeah
All right, let's take a vote right now.
We're gonna take a vote.
They're gonna vote against me despite.
We're gonna, who wants the original YKW theme song made by
Joderosa on a drum machine, which I love.
Yeah.
Or the new one.
Can we hear the new one?
10 minutes later.
I mean, you guys should just have it ready to go.
Do you can answer me? Do you have the new one? Ten minutes later. I mean you guys should just have it ready to go
Do you can answer me? Do you have it? Do you have the new one?
Hey, this is
I did welcome to the man cow show
It's shock radio. Don I miss live at 6am. It's rock
tober, rock tober, rock tober. He says the things you only
think I want to hear what he's going to say next to for Tuesday
coming up. Thank everybody who came down to bring down that canned goods
to help people less fortunate at this time of year.
All right, that one.
My team is better.
Do you have a clean version of Joe's original?
No.
All right, Joe's voice is in this package.
Play that loud please so we can hear it.
That one.
Or this package. Play that loud please so we can hear it. That one? Or
this one. I talk slow so that they can produce. I'm just gonna say I do suffra- what?
Play it louder. You make a guy to go welcome.
Where did you go back to it?
Shut up, Joe.
That's nice.
It's a different vibe.
This is the overnight guy. This is 101 for the AFN. Bobby Kelly show. You's a different vibe. This is the overnight guy.
This is 101 for a BDF and Bobby Kelly show. You know what?
You know what? All lines are open. You talk and you let me know.
We have Nirvana coming up next on the alternative rock.
But make sure you stick around. Be given out a PSP and an Nintendo switch.
And don't remember the roses sandwiches. They go in there.
Yeah. Joey Rose is 174 living, Livington Street, Wednesday through Sunday.
We open a 12 PM every day full bar and sandwiches come down.
First of all, I am so white trash.
The fact that I'm in a trailer with I can,
and there's somebody that can go get me whatever I want food wise
and drink wise.
I mean, I will stay in that I'll do, I'll say you in a script, you.
And that's all I'll be there for a week and a half.
You pay me, fucking sag.
I'm getting fucking pennies.
I'm getting egg sandwiches in the morning.
I'm at lunch.
I'm sleeping in the trailer.
Are you nuts?
I love it.
First of all, it was one of those half trailers,
which is an insult.
Oh yeah, half trailer.
Oh no. Half a trailer. I mean, the movie is an insult. Oh yeah, I have trailer. Oh no.
Half a trailer. I mean, the movie is no good.
Oh no.
What the fuck?
Hey,
is that a bell?
Ladies and gentlemen,
hell's bells.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's not Kells bells.
Don't call me Kells bells,
because that's on my Wikipedia now,
is Kells fucking bells.
My fucking sister, it's called me Kells bells, okay?
Don and Max are saying Kells bells.
It's terrible.
It's cool.
It's not every private.
It's not every private. Doug, Doug Bell, everybody. What's on your mouth?
Doug my lips. What's on your lips?
Are you in a, uh, Colin?
I don't. I don't. I don't.
I don't understand I don't, I don't understand his delivery.
I don't understand his backstory.
I don't understand Doug Bell.
Oh, man, that says it's too complicated.
You shouldn't understand.
What's on your lips?
It's grown to be out.
I'm going to throw up.
My lips.
Do you remember the Joker's cafe in Cincinnati?
How fucking good was the food there?
What?
What?
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
I didn't work that one.
What is on your lips?
Why is nobody saying this?
What? Who's got a trailer? Where's the trailer?
No, we were talking about the old days you had a trailer. Oh my god. Yeah, I had one one time when I was on this
I we were shooting we were shooting
We're shooting the bell. Yeah, we did a location shoot
Well, it was in a college and I was like talking a bunch of people
It's crazy. Listen, listen, dude.
What, Quinney and Cal's Bell?
Back with Cal's Bell.
Yeah, yeah, talk to us guys on the bellcast.
Quinney.
His name is not, you called him Quinney?
I hate you, he's called Quinney.
Yeah.
He called me Cal's Bells.
There are people, I was at a show and they yelled out cows bells.
Yeah.
Thanks for having me.
What can I just please know what's on your mouth?
I can't see my eyes for no good man.
I think I know what it is.
I'm sure Norton put it there.
Oh Jimmy. I think I know what it is. I'm sure Norton put it there.
Oh Jimmy.
What on your fucking lips man?
That's a book.
The worst thing is you always, you always do like this.
Yeah, and then nothing gets said.
I know.
No, dude, you're, you're doing any acting in the whole pandemic. I haven't done the acting
I was on the Michael Shay Joe once oh cool the
They look like Michael what Michael Shay Joe Michael Chey are they
They're looking for people
I don't well I was a couple of months ago, but I mean, I could put it in
word, I guess. Oh, cool. What about me? Put it in a word for me. I'm, I'm, I'm right here.
Yeah. Yeah. Why not put it in for the pretty blonde girl. I think, uh, Doug Stug seems to have a fancy for you. Oh, no, it's cool. Oh, no. Do you know her? Do you know
Gabby's dad you
Yeah, oh, you know what it's funny. I remember you were a little pup when I saw
I was with Johnny Bungellov. I got backstage. I already was.
And yeah, I'm the little pup. Yeah, well, when I first time I seen you at like this big,
you know, I remember I said to him, I'm such a big fan and I like living on a prayer
and thought he was cool. He's like, I looked so I better knew you were a fan if you like
living on a prayer. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, that's what I thought to him. I bet I knew you were a fan of you like living on a prayer especially. Yeah, definitely.
The deep cut.
Yeah, that's what I thought to them.
I'm like, that's fucking the soul with that song.
Yeah, I need, I need you to wipe your mouth.
I think there's something on your mouth.
I think there's something on your mouth.
I would love it if you could.
No, no, no, no, no.
I think there's something,
no, no, no, no, no.
Up, up, up, up. On the thing, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, dude, I do remember I'm from Warner Burry and that would kill. Oh, I was fine with you. Hi, I forgot this. Yeah, but nowadays
it's considered offensive dog. Yeah, you can't do that anymore, Doug. That's, that's
yeah. Well, what are you going to tell you? Do you remember that gig we did Bobby it was in Florida, and I don't remember
Half of it. I mean I was too Bell's to the wind
The guy in the back kept talking and I was just it was crazy funny night, man
I don't what I don't remember what club was it what happened?
What happened?
We're do I got
I did no, but I did Do you remember that joke I used to do about like far like with just so many old people here?
It was kind of big laugh. And I even remember pointing you,
Chrissy Rock like that.
I was at the seller one and Rock is in the back.
He's looking through the door.
And they kept giving me the light,
but I'm like, I want to rock to see me.
So I do like an extra 20.
And he was smiling, I told the audience,
I had Chrissy Rock rocks back there going up
uh...
i i mean it's it i'm getting dooshivers
literally
physically affecting me uh... turn on the heat
what
you see if you do she'll turn on the heat
uh...
i think that's not apparently
but it's it's funny that you do bring it up call do I think that
Stand-up comedy right now. It's funny to me that comics what I'm agreeing with your stand-up comedy right now
Survival
He agrees you're gonna I do, man.
Stan, you agree with this point?
Stand up comedy right now.
Yeah, because it gets us all through these moments.
People need to laugh during COVID, is that what you're saying?
You know, because everybody's been so upset and they're like, after it's the best medicine and somebody says to me, go,
Belle, are you going to get back up? And I said this soon.
You're gonna do. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, we, you know, we could probably get SD and she
in the different audition for SD. Yeah, man, she, uh, she didn't like it.
She was, she didn't get it. I would never hang, I would
always kind of hang at the other table. And I finally got to go on. And she was down there
the night that rock was there. And she was the one flashing the light. Oh, maybe, and
I'm like, hey, I just got up here. Uh, and I told the audience, I'm like, Chris Urock is back there.
I wanted them to see my set.
Oh.
Are you a friend?
Are you saying your friends with Chris Rock?
He came afterwards.
I walked by and he said, he's a good set.
I'm like, yeah, I figured he's a fan.
He probably digs material.
You probably knew you from the show.
Yeah, I asked him that as he was, uh, he was leaving.
I was like, you watch me ring my bell and he was like, it's
wave. You know, but he was.
What show?
Where in my pal?
Oh, okay, I forgot.
I forgot you had your show.
It was like a real fortune.
Can I rip?
No, I wasn't.
There's a whole lawsuit but I bullshit
Bobby Kelly
Hell's battle
Bobby Kelly Bobby Kelly you call and have a nickname back then besides Quinney
No, it's just Quinney like you'd always come in with Cher and they'd be over at the other table
And I'm kind of coming after tapinging and it's like, oh Christ bells here. Really? Is that true? Colin? You just be like,
whoa. I don't, yeah, I mean, I'm assuming it's true. Yeah. Oh my god.
I think Doug is very heavily
maniceted. I feel really good,
dude. The important things you never want to lose your fastball.
Never lose your fastball.
I feel like I think you're on hit with a fastball.
Yeah, I think it's a little psychiatric unit and Doug's past 15 years.
We cut that because I'm trying to bring a show back
and everybody knows what happened.
Oh, I don't want that out there.
People remember.
I apologize.
It's a cut or he's a cut or it's embarrassing.
Yeah.
Is there any way you could cut that stuff off your lip?
Oh, maybe. It's on top. Yeah, is there any way you could cut that stuff off your lip?
It's on top. It's right here. What is it?
Oh my lips. No. No. The other hand. Can't do that.
You can't do that. Most of the stuff Doug did. can't do anymore. Yeah, I was so crazy back then
Colin we were talking about Colin was on a show and he actually left it but Colin a double banger first of all It's called a trailer then a double banger and the triple banger and the double banger. Oh
Call the FCC double banger and the triple banger and the double banger. Uh oh. Paulie FCC. Yeah.
And then we're worried about the FCC anymore.
And then they have the honey wagon, which is like five speedboats.
The honey wagon is dug that's where the bathrooms are.
Oh, I know.
The Honeywagon I would always got sweet.
We had one on Bell.
We would do like locations shoot.
And you would say it was sweet.
That's kind of creepy, no?
No, because they called the Honeywagon.
Well, I know.
Yeah.
We're opposed.
I don't have a carbon that came on a set one time.
I've seen Cameron Diaz
And I told her I'm a honeywagger sweet. She smiled. Yeah, yeah, she was on your show. No, she was just in the same
area going into a Ralph's and we were shooting
So I called the role from the head dog Bell like I just told her like what's up? See if she wanted to come on
What she said? She's like, oh cool. Yeah, and she's like, you call my agent. And I was like, all right, we follow it
up a lot, but I see agent is my political. Anyways, Colin
had a double, you had a double, a double banker, and you weren't
happy with it. Would you want to, you wanted a fucking whole trailer?
No, no, no.
I had a half trailer.
Uh oh.
Yeah, I have trailer.
And then the thing up from that is a whole trailer.
Right.
No, it's the recorders of a trailer.
Yeah, it's the recorders of a trailer.
That's a great one.
Let me ask you a question.
We were almost sure a couple weeks ago,
and you did your impression,
which is fucking nuts, by the way, your impressions.
It's, I mean, it's crazy,
because it's like, you can,
we can talk and just do a regular,
and then all of a sudden you come out,
you do a Paul Mooney and a soprano, a Tony soprano,
and it's nuts, but then a fucking week later,
after you do that, Paul Mooney, he's passed away.
Let me, let me tell you something,
I'm in heaven, and white people hold your markets,
and God is a nigga.
God is, like, God is Sam Cook.
I know you don't wanna believe it,
and all of the white people that you run from me,
I'm coming after you in your dreams,
I'm haunting you, I'm Freddie Nigger.
You cannot get away from me, can't. I know you're scared of me. I'm haunted you, I'm Freddie Nigger. You cannot get away from me.
I know you're scared of me.
I'm not like butter rabbits.
I know I see you, I'm coming for you Nigger's freshman.
Dude, it's fucked up.
It's so fucked up, but I didn't even know he was sick.
I didn't know that.
Matter of fact, we did a gig in Pleasanton, California.
And the manager of the club, Tommy T, was hanging out with Paul that night.
And he said, he had Paul's in the green room.
And he had had Paul come downstairs.
And I said, hey, by the way, y'all, the legend, the great Paul Mooney was in the back.
And then he walked up to the stage to grab the mic and get on and that's when I knew he was fucked up because Paul would normally wouldn't do that. Paul wouldn't
be trying to jump up on stage and you know, chuck him with him or fucking take your time. He would
just probably wave and may nighting come down at all but the way he walked to the stage and he was
asking for the mic, I was like, damn, and I didn't give it to him. I gracefully, you know, gave him his love and kept it moving because I
Neuted if I gave him the mic. He might not stop. Yeah, or he might go off on a
page and make sense. Okay, listen, let me ask you a question. Yeah, so Paul
Paul mooney. Yeah, how long ago was this?
Almost two years ago. Okay, so it wasn't like a couple weeks ago. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so it wasn't like a couple weeks ago. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, this is boy guy.
No, no, no, no.
He was dying and you said, nah, I'm good, listen.
Give it up for that motherfucker anyways.
Women are fucking crazy, right?
Right.
Dude, what the fuck?
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So he was physically, you could tell.
You could tell.
I saw him on a plane like five years ago,
and you could tell he was,
it was the first class.
Yeah, where were you?
Uh-huh, where were you?
I was in cargo.
I wrote the bit for Paul.
It was one of the most famous bits on Chappelle.
I saw Paul walking down the street one day,
and I used to open for my count and I go,
Paul, I can't do this bit.
You do it.
And I go, and I said to him, I go,
Wayne Brady's so white, he makes Brian Gumball look like Malcolm X.
So I gave him that.
Oh wow.
And he thanked me.
We did a roast together.
I gave him that bit, which they turned into the bit
on the Chappelle show,
where Wayne Brady,
now that's it.
Fucking Paul,
let me tell you something, me and Bonnie,
a couple times, but I used to work with him a lot of times,
but Bonnie, we sat and watched him.
Paul, this white girl started crying at the audience,
like crying, and Paul's like,
whoa, whoa, calm down, this is just comedy.
She was offended.
Yeah, she just, young, you know,
won't like girl.
And he's like, listen calm down.
Just, you know, and he, he calmed it down
and then went right back into what he does.
And you would watch him go,
this motherfucker is one of the most amazing comics.
I mean, this is 15 years ago,
probably 15 years ago. And you could watch him for two fucking hours,
and he would hold your attention that long. To me, that's how good he was.
Yeah, you know, we talked about it, and you know, on our podcast, and my thing was this, you know,
I just kind of felt like whenever black comics, and we all do it, because, you know, listen,
we live in the skin, this is our uniform, so we got to do racial material, we can we all do it because you know, listen, we live in the skin,
this is our uniform, so we gotta do racial material.
We can't not do it.
So, but I always felt like when I would do it
at a Griffin, Chappelle, you name him, rock.
It always felt like if we were slave icons,
we would be Sagerta Truth, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass.
We would easy on the white palette,
whereas Paul was an actor,
like he's stabbing the white babies and the white women.
And he's a genius, yes, he's great, yes.
But I always just felt like a lot of white people
for those that walked out that couldn't take him, why?
We all tellin' the truth,
comedy's all based in truth.
We all tellin all tell the truth. Comedy is all based in truth. We're all telling our racial truth.
But he's shit.
It sometimes didn't feel like comedy,
even though I know it was.
Yeah.
And like I would read some of the comments on his YouTube
and white people, this guy's racist, this is fucking racist.
So I always wondered why he didn't go down
with white people as easy as most black comics
I go white people take it I understand you white people could take it
But there were a lot of white people couldn't because he never apologized for it
That's why he just went in and it wasn't I thought it was because he went in and he didn't a lot of comics
We'll say not all white people or this part of white people. He just let everybody have it.
And it wasn't, there was no apology.
I watched him a few times at Caroline's
and in Laugh Factory when he would come in.
And I enjoyed it, but he, I don't know
because I am a comic, it never,
racist stuff makes me laugh.
But so you know what I'm saying?
So if I hear someone being racist,
I'm going, what the fuck is that?
Even if it's real shit.
Yeah, even if it's,
if he's, when he was saying something,
you know, I remember Voss,
you know, Voss has some crazy jokes about the daughter one
that's just hilarious.
When I hear that stuff, if it's fun, I laugh.
So, I don't really, I don't know,
I don't know if I can answer that question.
Why it's gotta be.
Well, you're a comic, so you see it through that lens.
Right.
Yeah, I'm talking about average Joe, white guy,
white woman, wing guy, none to do a comedy.
That's the same person that's gonna get offended
if I do a joke about a check.
That's the same person that's gonna get offended
if I do something sexist.
Maybe.
Or, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I know, but.
Here's the deal with Paul too.
Paul not only won after white people.
Paul with the microphone.
Paul with the microphone.
Paul with the microphone.
He won after hypocrisy.
He won after Oprah.
He won after,
he won after black people.
He went,
but those jokes aren't making white people get up
and walk out.
The jokes about Oprah and the jokes about whoever else black
Yeah, did not walk in out because of that right they're walking out when they hear him say white people are niggas in a
Like when they hear that you know you white people you white
I love that as much as I love magic
You know what I mean? It's the same it's on the same thing. I don't care.
The other day I was doing that, he said, he said, dude, you kind of bled in the body
sliding on top of that, too. I'm in the big one, I'm in the big one, I've been doing
a whole lot more time. And I tell him, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
tell him I'm going on the time. So, you know, sometimes you go from all the niggas
in the niggas in the big, so, I'm trying to separate this. But yeah, sometimes I would always say like this.
If the audience was a turkey, all other black comics
that do race, we car them.
Here you go.
Paul's in the jail with the fucking,
he's shanking this motherland.
And that's the difference to me.
And I don't think a lot of white people could take the shanking. Yeah. Carve it up. Give it to us. The true. No, but because
instinctually, you if somebody says something about you, you want to go, Hey, well,
a fucking you, hey, shut the fuck up. I'm fucking. I'm not that or that's a bullshit. It's just,
it's it's in you to defend yourself.
You know what I mean?
So, especially if you know who you are.
But if you know who you are, it shouldn't have offended you.
It's the people who...
But it's not, most people don't know that when that comes up,
you go, oh fuck it, whatever.
You know what I mean?
Most people can't do that.
Most people just react.
Most people, it just comes out.
So you think it's because the comic side
doesn't, you don't feel it.
It's also too, it's, it's,
of course, because of the callus of, you know,
a sense of humor is something you build
and something that is kind of taught to you.
My kid has a sense of humor.
I know other kids that don't.
I know friends of mine's kids who stink.
I mean, you'll say something funny.
They'll be like, why?
And you're like, you fucking suck.
You know what I mean?
You stink.
My hand.
No, your daughter's funny.
She's got me, she's got me,
she's got me, my daughter's,
I don't want to be near her.
How she'll fucking, it's her. imagine him and then Bonnie McFarlane, that comedy, which
is just fucking tax yourself a steam and just slices you up.
Why don't I want to Tim Done? We're at the stand.
It's like a comic that doesn't bomb my, my, my, my daughter will leave in the stand
and she goes to Tim Dylan.
Good night, Fatso.
So she got in the car. My wife is like, you can't say that.
They're calm.
They're my friends.
You gotta be.
So the next, you know, you gotta be nicer to him.
So the next night she was leaving, she goes, it was good to see you, Mr.
Don't Fatso.
That's not funny to me.
I mean, you know, like that's just, I mean, Tim's a fat dude.
I'm a chubby dude.
I'm a fat.
That just hurts.
But I'm getting hurt by a fucking 13 year old.
She goes to Doroza.
She covered what was the movie with Sandra Bullock?
Where?
Bullock?
Sandra Bullock.
Sandra Bullock where she covered her eyes.
Oh, the bird cage.
The bird cage. Every time she sees Doroza where she covered her eyes on the bird cage.
The bird cage.
Every time she sees her rosace, she covers her eyes.
You still don't like Italians, huh?
Yeah, they're gross.
Worse the whites.
Worse the whites, they'll maintain it.
Attaians.
Worse than the white.
Do you know last time?
Worse the white.
Last time you said this, a couple of my Italian friends
got a little fucking mad because you said
they were trash people.
They're trash people.
Yes. All right, now listen. Let's pack up a little. And what do said they were trash people. They're trash people. Yes.
All right, now listen, let's back up a little bit.
And what do they say?
What do they do?
They went straight to threatening violence.
Okay.
Okay.
Trade of a trash person.
Okay, well they did.
They were going to come down.
They're going to come down there.
Fucking idiots.
Fucking idiots.
The worst thing to ever happen to any Italian was soprano's finishing.
He had nothing since then.
Fuck off.
You see that last-course-daisy movie
with that old man throwing fucking fake kicks?
That's your legacy, you garbage trash.
That's your legacy.
Fake kicks from a guy you're still clinging on to.
You've had no one since then.
Ugh, idiot.
You still have nobody in there. Nobody. Your no one since then. Oh, it is. So they have nobody in the nobody.
Your last great thing was pizza.
Fuck off.
I don't listen, man.
I'm half Italian.
So I am, well, I would say a quarter, maybe,
but I am very offended by this because I don't,
I'm Irish and Italian.
What do you think about Irish people?
They're the worst of the whites, the all the whites, Italians, other words, no, obviously,
whites or wherever you want to put them on the scale of race, but of the whites, wherever you
want to put them, that's up to you, but I'm saying, of the whites.. So the other wife. So, all right, we're gonna, we're gonna,
are we an hour, all right?
Almost.
By the way, you can see me and Bobby having fun talking
about Palmoni, other stuff.
On my podcast, R.I.E. Shapiro,
Skepper Tank, it's on YouTube now,
youtube.com slash R.I.E. Shapiro.
Please check it out and subscribe.
That was a fun podcast.
That was a fun, a shit, what?
That was really good, man.
Outside, smong as the guys.
I wish all podcasts, either, I love the studio.
I'm back, but that was fun.
Perfect day too.
Perfect day.
Hold on the mic.
The dog would fly in and out.
People are saying you can see the dog running
behind the screen.
So the birds would sharpen.
You really get the ambience.
I want to talk to you about, in the overtime for the
Patreon only, I want to talk to you about Bushcraft
Body Boys and what's going on with what's happening
with this.
Are we killing it?
Is it going bad?
Is it over?
Because you seem to be domesticated.
No, I just got back from a long,
quite a long vacation.
I'm ready to go camping.
I was gonna go this weekend with my niece.
You would be able to do this
what I'm talking about.
What?
You were going car camping.
With my niece for her fucking bout mitzvah.
I'm Jewish. For a bout mitzvah. You were taking her for her fucking bot mitzvah. I'm Jewish for bot mitzvah. You
would take in your camping for a bar mitzvah. Oh, dude, but I plan shit to go wrong. What do you
I got what are you talking about the Appalachian people? We're gonna find the whites. No, yeah.
Those are better whites than the Italians. The wonderful wonderful world, the way, no way.
Yeah.
The way as a group.
Did not bet the whites, did you see that documentary?
I have sure did.
They took her by me.
Hey, hey, they took her by me.
This snort and fucking pills in the hospital.
They're not great.
Instead of phrasing it, they're better than the Italians.
I'd say the Italians are worse than them.
You think the Italians are worse than the fucking West Virginia
Appalachian Rednecks, the whites.
Yeah.
I think you're crazy.
The Italians have brought us fucking.
This is what Italians always do.
They go back to way, way in the past.
Greeks try to do that too.
Like who would vote to the language?
You're like, what are you talking about, dude?
Where's the whites?
Better than Italians.
Better than Italians.
Oh my fucking god.
They probably don't put on heirs.
They can't.
They all have a good time playing music
down by the tracks.
They're not pretending they're someone they're not.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, what do you mean the Italians not pretending to be somebody they're not. Yeah. I mean, listen, what do you mean?
The times that pretend to be somebody they're not?
Just they are.
They're not.
They're fucking, they're hardworking people.
They built this country.
What?
They were attracted to that.
Blacks had never run.
Something to do with it.
What did you say much?
They wear track suits and never run.
Oh my God, that's a great point.
So do an eye.
You don't wear track suits.
Yeah, you're like,
I grew up seeing just showing up in a track suit. And you're like, it's a great point. So do an eye. You don't want tracks. It's like, I've seen just showing up in a track suit.
And you're like, it's a costume for a sketch.
You know what?
What?
And you're like, I forget it.
She looks so hot.
Shut up, Alan or she is hot.
We know she's hot.
All right, Bobby, put your pants back on.
Sorry, I apologize.
I apologize.
Lisa.
Lisa.
But yeah, I don't.
People are like, you should cut out sugar.
I don't think I could.
I really, I would just pass.
I pass away.
It's the worst.
I mean, it's the best because listen to me, I'm a fucking tub of shit.
I had no choice.
You both are fucking in shape.
I'm not really.
I mean, she's in shape.
I use, she's in shape for sure.
I am questionable.
You go in the gym a lot.
You do go to the gym.
And I run a lot, but I also eat like a fucking monster.
That's the thing.
And I emotionally eat sometimes.
Yeah.
It's such a rush.
It really, I don't drink.
You live alone, right?
I get hanged from Marshal.
Wow.
Jesus.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a single one. Again, that's just triggering for him.
He's got to clean the fucking sheet yet.
I apologize.
You just opened up to me.
You have nobody tonight, right?
How much do you have?
You have one pillow, right?
You have a tiny dog.
He's not going to do anything doing it in the street, right?
You have one toothbrush in you, bathroom, right?
One coffee mug.
I love me. I'm dating me.
Kirk was made for you specifically.
But you live alone too, right?
100%.
But he wanted to live with all by choice.
All by choice.
This is all by choice. I've been engaged three times.
Three times? Nobody's ever wanted to marry me.
Why, I don't understand, you're a pretty girl.
You're a high, pretty bad person, Anthony.
What do you mean you're a person now?
Tell me why.
Well, I mean, no, it's a good person.
No, I am fun.
My last boy.
Was that your therapist talking?
Don't do your mean self-speak again.
I am fun, I'm fun.
You're embarrassing yourself.
No, my last boy from broke up with me
because of my only, I had started in only fans.
What, what, you show your booty?
Yeah.
You show everything?
Yeah.
You make good money.
Joe, can you sign me up under your name for her only fans?
Please, I'm so jealous.
I don't get an extra $5 from an R Kelly every month.
I'm like, which one is this?
I, so, I, I, I'm so fucking.
Is this the one that pees on your
So you show
Yeah, I strip I get I'm gonna get Bobby's attention again cuz you brought up a fucking only fan
He hasn't even looked over you turn her mic off. Please listen. I gave you 15 minutes. Yeah, exactly
Talk about your only fan. So let's see. How much are you paying her to be on this pudge?
You have a lonely fan's page.
I'm gonna start it.
The lonely fans are just me walking around my studio apartment.
Yeah, yeah, in a tan rock.
And panties that go up above your belly button.
You're like doing stand up to like your family like Maria Bamford.
Yeah, you just try to have family.
You're trying to massage a Veriko's vein on your thigh.
Devaining life.
Swipe up.
Hello.
It is.
You're $20.
Tears.
Wait, I want to hear more about the only fans.
I do.
Like, you make good money because I'm so jealous.
Yeah, listen to me.
I've heard something about you and tell me if I'm wrong.
You make 20 grand a month on, wow.
Muzzle talk.
Thank you.
Muzzle.
A lot of it goes back into the product.
What product?
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, you.
Oh, what do you do?
What could you possibly do?
I reinvested.
I do a lot of, like, health and wellness stuff.
I get a lot of IV drips. I'm in the gym a lot what the fuck is it? I do
I was thinking about recommending one to you they have specific ones for weight loss. Yeah, really go three days in a row
You'll fucking notice like you can get on B5 or no B12 shots in your butt. That's just
That helps your metabolism
If you get them regularly, but I'm that I got my dad one, he's not used to it yet.
He's like, I'm a fucking goalie.
Would they just stick me up?
I'm not sick.
Is your dad know that you have this page?
I bet he does.
My mom, I'm a hundred.
I bet his friends, though.
He's not, I'm not.
I bet his friends.
I bet you go for Christmas, you got a little more fucking pals.
Hey, I was stubborn.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's new?
How's new?
You're dad of the comedian.
You got the dress, I boy. I mean, that's a good dress you got doing. I was new. As you're done with the comedian. You got the dress I bought.
I mean, that's a good dress you got.
That's a new apartment.
Wow.
I'm just gonna give a shank because she's seen my new apartment.
She's like, I don't give a shit how you're paying for this.
Really?
Yep.
I love her.
But you don't have to.
But I know you're not doing anything.
I don't do porn.
There's like no penetration.
I really like it.
It's not.
All right, listen, can I be first she ruins this
because she's coming it from a woman's angle. I'll let me come from it. I'm gonna know really like it. It's not all right. Listen, can I before she ruins this because she's she's coming
it from a woman's angle. I'll let me come from it. Oh, all of it. It's you know what do not you know what
fucking party pooper. Listen, shut up. Look at these curtains. I can stand you. Let me let me ask you
let me make you Ravioli. I'll ask you a couple questions and then fucking Eleanor
Meredith
Gladys will fucking ask a couple of questions from the 30s
Kids do the chick with a hair up in a ponytail last year go fuck yourself cuz by blow
Yeah, your roots look good. Listen
Just got it that no, we go ahead. I want to hear this question. You're first where you're beautiful. If you had an early fans
I could I be honest I'd go to your fans crush. I'd go to your
Absolutely you would
Why?
Yeah, but people like that and I like that
I'm told it's uncomfortable. They like that pretend you're taking a clock back
I'm like a bird you don't have to showcase your insecurities You know those Roman women that they would draw like that. That's what I'm They like that. Pretend you're taking a clock back. You don't have to showcase your insecurities.
You know those Roman women that they would draw like that? That's what I'm built like. That's not.
They like that.
But a little pot belly and a kind of a satiety. Yeah, just like a long toast.
Eat grapes after yourself. So hot. He'll be a millionaire. You're very pretty. You're out of your mind.
You're really hot. You're Philly hot.
Brutal. I was South Philly eight.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I was South Philly 8.
No, you're very Philly, huh?
And it's only because I don't have a self-tax.
You got beautiful.
Let me tell you something.
You're very beautiful.
You got beautiful hair.
I've got to fucking cool.
And you got beautiful eyes.
No, you're going to take this.
You're going to take this.
No, the blue.
You have nice shoulders.
You're just South Philly 8.
Okay.
And you got a smoking lower half of your body.
Very good. Thank you. You do. Just don't look at the feet. Like cut the feet. Okay, and you got and you got a smoking lower half of your body very good
Good you do just don't look at the feet like cut the feet. Oh cut your feet off
Right I'd rather fucking fucking ostrich than look at your feet
Yeah, they won't sell you
Toget they won't sell her flip flops when she's on vacation
No, you have to cover those men you're please you must cover the feet cover those feet the children scream from pool We need you to to cover those men. You're pleased. You must cover the feet. Sir, cover those feet. The children scream from pool.
We need you to please cover your feet.
We hear you clicking from hallway.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Not much.
Sounds like a rooster walking down the hall.
Listen, so you have this page.
What made you say fuck it?
Or did you not care at all?
Um.
Was it the pandemic?
Yeah, I mean, I'm writing job and I was doing sponsored.
What was your writing job?
I worked at Paramount Network.
It was a copywriting job.
Love that network.
It was fun.
Yellowstone.
Yeah, fucking, I did a promo for them and stuff
and I worked on their social and I...
Wow!
But...
Are you a social media holy shit part?
No, I mean, when you have like a show like that,
it's not hard to promote Kevin Costner.
My, it is a fucking great. It's my favorite show. It's really good
It's a Taylor Sheridan. He's a really good. He's fucking insane
It's like so fucking hot too. I follow her on Instagram. Yeah fucking. I love that show so much
Only fans or she would crush it. Here's the thing with that show too is that cost
I thought it was just a mini series. Yeah. Oh shit. I swear to God. I hear a great thing.
It's good.
Oh, I'm terrible.
Kelly Riley, the actress, the place Beth.
Oh.
She's the girl that was...
I think that looks like Elinor could do a Kelly Riley.
Yeah, no, she could actually do that, the cowgirl.
I thought you were going to say her name.
I thought you were going to say her name.
My name.
What's her name?
Oh, don't.
I thought you were going to say one of those sentences.
Karen?
That's more accurate. What Bobby's saying is bullshit. I'm more of a hoi the lead
No, you can see the girl that plays the other character. You definitely could play her. Yeah, she could
You see
Just see fucking hell hanging in the stall the
Dice shows up I hanging in the stall like the heaven cock and I Dice shows up. I got in the bar. I
Got on the box. Oh
Hey, you're not on the show. I talked to Kevin
He said you can stick your head out of a stable. Oh, he's gonna feed you a carrot while he reads his monologue
Oh, he wants to ride you
on a log. Oh!
He wants to ride you.
What?
That's weird.
That's fucked up.
Listen.
That's fucked up.
Elano is pretty.
I know.
Beautiful actually.
I know.
Just stunning.
My type of girl.
I feel nothing.
You throw darts.
I'm feeling it.
You're so stupid.
My wife took out a pair of bikini yellow bikini swim trunks that I bought in
2008 I got it I got shred for you I bought them for me. Oh
I bought three
red
Vampire red oh boy. I bought an area yellow I bought black and I bought Canary Yellow, I bought Black,
and I bought, I think a seafoam green,
all the same pair of bikini, they were bikini,
but they had a little trim on them, right?
They hung a little bit, and I fitted them,
and I looked the fuck amazing in them,
and I was shredded, and she went,
she grabbed me, she goes, what are these? I go, I go I'm wearing these my new I bought these these are my
swim trucks she goes you're not wearing bikini I go I'm wearing them because I
never know where I'm gonna be and if I'm gonna look back and no I'm gonna
photos in me in these beautiful fucking little tiny swim trunks.
I'm wearing these fucking things, I go fuck you.
I'm wearing them, I work my ass off.
I just lost 80 pounds.
Damn.
And I had fucking six pack, I had the V.
I was trimming my bush fat again
cause I could see my fucking back up.
I mean, it was so, I bought everything.
And.
Man, the idea of shaving your dick hair
that looked better. Dude, sounds great. Let me tell you something. We get to a Rubo. So I bought everything and the idea of shaving your dick hair that look make your dick look better
Dude sounds great. Let me tell you something. We get to a rubah. I am pack
Wow, I go where are my fucking she goes I threw them out. Wow. I go what she goes you're not wearing those
I was fucking really mad. Wow. She's like I go you I regretted that I
She was like, I regretted that. I regretted that so fucking much.
You know what she did four days ago?
She pulled out a fucking pair.
She had him.
She pulled out the canary yellows.
And she goes, I was, no.
She's not a fucking, remember my wife?
You can spit these.
No, but maybe she goes like this.
I was saying something about putting on shorts. She's not a fucking remember my wife and you can spit these no, but maybe why no maybe she goes like this
I was saying something about putting on shorts. She goes here put these on and she I go the canary yellows
She starts laughing and I I went to go put them on I couldn't get them past my fucking
I got them up over my knees and they all that's the only I
Ripped them up on my ass and I ripped them up over my knees and that's the only, I ripped them up on my ass
and I ripped them over to my, and you could barely see them
cause of my stomach.
And I ripped, and I was in the mirror and I go,
I could have worn these when they fucking fit me perfectly.
And I'll never have you rob me of that.
And I picked, and I took them off and I threw him at her. I think if you hold her, she's behind the pool.
If you get divorced for that, I think she pays you out.
Yeah.
It was sad, man.
It was fucking sad.
There's nothing worse to me when you lose weight.
You have an outfit pair of pants that you really like.
And then you get a little too confident.
You go, I can have some p-tuck you really like. And then you get, you get a little too confident.
You go, I can have some pizza.
I can have this.
And then you kind of start sliding and then you try to wear those pants again.
And you like fuck.
What's the kids did it again, man?
The kiss of death for me and Christine is very similar to me in this way.
It is someone going like, man, he look great.
You're like, well, I'm gonna start eating my shit again.
Yeah.
Isn't that fucked up?
Yeah.
You, you look great.
We're going, so this week we could have two shitty days
of eating, instead of just one normally do.
And it takes a day to gain it all back.
This is not.
I mean, you'll work so hard, 30 pounds,
and in a week it's all back and then some.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
And here's the thing too,
I actually left the thing on Tim Dillon,
he's always posting these photos.
I left it was a hamburger with bacon and then it was an egg.
And I went, what the fuck, I need this.
Something like that.
And the amount of fat comments that I got,
I didn't look at them, but some guy was like,
dude, why are they so mean to you?
It was just like, it was a response to-
That's someone who has been
a factor whole life.
Bobby can't show appreciation for deliciousness and food
and amounts of food in front of other people.
Yeah, but it's like,
it's like,
if I go to the phase and they go, I have to say this, I go stupid.
Okay, food probably all sucks in it anyway.
I'm not a, I'm not a fan of the egg on the burger, man.
What?
I can't do it.
What, then you don't like Japanese people.
I love Japanese people.
And you like the egg on the road me dumb hole for a harbor anger
I'm sorry put him in the camps I say because I'm not we still have answers oh they
get in country again listen the egg the egg dude I get it but I runny I don't
oh yeah well that's the idea I can't do it I can't do runny I get the I get it, but I don't yeah, that's the idea. I can't do it. I can't do runny. I get it for the flavor, but like the
Texture I can do it out. I do I love a runny. I love ramen with the egg in it a runny egg. Do you?
We got to go to over years anonymous dude. We have to write your passion for a delicious bite of stuff, especially when it's yeah, we don't talk about
what's that we do, but we don't talk about not anymore, but I'm saying, we don't,
like me and you haven't had a passion to talk about pussy in so long. We've had more about ramen.
Yeah, dude, we've talked about food really passionately. Absolutely, but it's almost my point,
but we're also never talking passionately. It's not about like how the something French bistro hit our pallets.
It's like, dude, an azeago ranch chicken from Wendy's just cranking it at 3 a.m.
is just like, who needs pussy?
There's cartoons right on my computer.
Dude, when I was on stricken my diet, I got to, because I was not doing any carbs.
Yeah. You know, you go to that carb desperation.
There was a point where if there were like,
you can either have sex with your wife or have some bread,
I was 100% gonna go for the carbs, man.
Just 100% pancakes, a waffle, something, man.
I think carbs is better than pussy, man.
Dude, I'm a big rice guy, and I love rice.
If I could live on anything, I would just get a fucking thing
of rice.
Just regular white rice.
Oh, white sticky.
Like sticky, sticky Japanese.
I'd like to buzz my own.
That type of rice, I would just fucking, my god,
but if you had chicken and rice all the time,
you'd lose a ton of weight.
No, the rice. Something about the carbs fuck me up, dude
I don't know what it is a support is has to be porcise dude. I can't do that though. I'm a full-fledged
I am a out and out fucking addict
I am not how many sites you're doing a pizza now dude. I was over it. I don't have pizza
But I'll tell you the last time I was over it. I was over at Janice Poppest
Who is a fatty in the making.
He's got a, he's better hold on, because Janice is us.
Yeah.
Oh, Janice, dude, you see it.
He takes it off quick right now.
Once these tea levels go down,
once that testosterone starts dying,
he's not going to be, and once he gets, and he's happy.
Once he gets happy and he ain't leaving the house
He's just in front of a microphone can he cuz he's got his Greek and attack. I mean dude He's got all the food me and him. Oh, this one. I knew y'all this was a fatty like me
We went to Joe's
Ordered a pizza to bring back over here as we waited for the pizza to cook
We ate a pizza in slices Jesus two. Two slices and we're back in.
Let's get two more.
We're back gonna go to, I mean, we ate more than a pizza.
And then we ate that pizza.
Then we ate that pizza.
We had two, we had a pizza each.
Christine just came.
I would do it.
I'm so happy.
Yeah.
My buddy does this.
Have you heard of this?
He's like a, the movie FATO right now.
You got the honey, Jr.
I want fucking pizza.
This is what he does.
He'll order at a drive-through,
and while he's doing that,
order a pizza, so when he gets home,
there's a pizza there.
Oh, God.
So he eats his shit in the car,
and then when he gets home,
like five minutes later,
boom, a pizza shows up.
Pretty wild.
What I do now for years is I eat two pieces of pizza.
Yeah.
And then I take off my other two pieces of pizza
that would be, if me and Christina are splitting a pizza. Yeah. And then I take off my other two pieces of pizza that would be,
if I mean, Christina's splitting a pizza.
Right.
I take the crusts off of them.
I love this.
And then I take all the cheese and mushroom,
shit off.
Right.
And put that on a plate and then like a little fucking weird fat.
So I just decorate the crust with slab of cheese,
like walking dead masks.
I just
I just don't know if it's so sad. Oh my goodness.
Christine still has sex with me after she watches me do that.
Weird. Not the same night. This is Christine I think is trying to like I
think she has a dependence or something. She's trying to feel better
about herself. Yeah, she's not she's trying to achieve a goal or
try to get some of a ward. She swears. She wants my shirt off
She wants me to sleep naked all these things. I'm like you don't want me to for real
I don't know how women do it. Hey man. I look at some guys like this a woman that list this man climb on top of her
Yeah, and just pump till he just dumps all up. I just I don't know. Yeah, do it. I'll tell you I think Jay is a great guy
Well, it'll fuck me. Oh, yeah, yeah, you don't want to picture me laying on you
I'll say it well. Yeah, but we but I'm a what upsets are though. We both have man bodies like we're chubby
But I'm still a man and I like I still got you know, I still got guns. No, that's the thing about I think America
We get tattoos. Yeah, you know, I mean we have we're an illusion
Talking about this in therapy. So we'll get there. I said we said partner with some of the Royal Air Force guys some time.
And their bodies like these older like enlisted guys. Oh my god.
This is so gooey. Like I remember this one.
He was standing with his hands on his hips.
And they were just sinking like one of those memory foam mattresses.
I was like this guy is built like a middle-aged nanny.
Just no muscle mass at all.
It's just fat to the bone.
But I think at least American guys,
we have at least layer of muscle underneath the fat part.
No.
No.
Go to 7-11 at fucking two in the morning.
Watch a guy walk out with a big gulp
and a fucking thing of donuts.
But I just think our fat people are different here.
I mean, the people that listen to me do it.
Go to a truck stop.
Watch the fat people. Go down south. I live in Virginia. Yeah, dude, listen to me dude go to truck stop watch the fat people go down south. I live in Virginia
Yeah, dude listen to me dude our fat people look at their ankles look at their legs look at the fucking elbows
You know that we have the best fats dude our fat people are fucking
Fat go on a cruise ship. Yeah, dude go go on a go on a fucking
What are those guys?
Dude I was on a joke, what was that guy? Prachal Joker's cruise. Prach, dude, I was on a Prachal Joker's cruise.
These two bitches pulled up.
A Bobby look at God damn waif.
Yeah, dude, I was in shape.
Yeah, you'll get pussy on that thing
if you're not in a scooter.
Dude, I saw two scooter chicks.
They were so fat at the buffet at like three in the morning.
They pulled up to the table
and just pushed the chairs away in the scooter.
Eight over the handlebars
Dude I'm not kidding. They didn't get out of the fucking lock do people do they said what a lot of people do
Mike Fenoy was something like a crew's nachos
They get like whatever there is like a little bit of meat whatever salad a slice of pizza some pasta
They make a taco whatever and then they go to the end of the thing and you could just scoop
pasta, they make a taco, whatever. And then they go to the end of the thing
and you could just scoop cheese.
Oh, yeah.
But I saw, I was going to the buffet
and the elevated door opened
and there was two massive women with two plates of food,
one in each hand.
And one, I remember they both had one plate, had pizza,
mac and cheese, slice of pizza, mac and cheese,
slice of pizza, mac and cheese, on one plate.
Man.
And first of all, I was like, that's awesome.
Like what a great idea, I never thought I'd make it.
She's going for it through just like I was on you.
Yeah.
They were going back to their room.
They were going back to the room.
I don't know, I like them.
I like a big fucking nut.
I like one of my nuts a hot and hanging like a man.
Like I like, I don't know, it just makes me feel manly.
When I'm-
I have polychipeter listeners that I brought this up.
When I'm out and I got my fucking swim trunks on,
I'm sitting and I can feel my nut, my big balls.
I'm like, yeah, I'm a fucking man.
These are my nuts.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I don't mind a big nut on me.
Yeah, but sit down, sit down's a problem, right. I've sat on my nuts a little bit. I pissed on my nuts one day.
I remember that because my shdomink
wasn't, you know, was facing down.
My, my scoops are fucking big.
My scooby snacks are big.
So, but I don't mind them.
I don't mind having, I feel like it's, you know,
it's, you're a man.
You got nuts.
You know what I mean?
I don't, you ever see a guy with little tiny nuts?
That freaks me out. No. I'm not. I'm not. I don't mind them, I don't mind having, I feel like it's you're a man, you got nuts, you know what I mean?
I don't, you ever see a guy with little tiny nuts?
That freaks me out.
No, how would I ever see that?
Yeah, you watch a porno, you ever see a porno?
You watch a kiddie porn?
Yeah, but like, what do you mean?
Like, I never look at the dudes nuts.
Dude, you can start, are you fucking out of your own mind?
I gotta check a big girl guy with tiny nuts.
That's like a, that like a tiny nuts category.
Dude, listen, I don't watch that anymore.
I'm not saying Google nuts.
Yeah, Google tiny nuts.
I'm just saying that.
I've never seen an abnoor, like with porn,
I've never watched it.
First of all, you say that you don't want,
you have to see it.
There's nothing, I'm not sitting there going,
oh, look at these nuts.
I mean, you're making it, you're framing it like that.
No, I understand, but I.
You've seen nuts.
Of course, I've seen nuts.
There's no way there's someone in porn with a giant hug.
Who has a tiny nuts.
There is.
Wait, a giant hug with tiny nuts?
Giant hug tiny nuts.
Not tiny nuts, but not...
Not in relation to the giant hug, yeah.
Yeah, little tiny school, little Scooby snacks.
I've got some little marbles on me.
Yeah, because you're Irish, you got little Irish nuts. Yeah. Yeah, you, little tiny school, little Scooby snacks. I've got some little marbles on me.
Yeah, cause you're Irish, you get little Irish nuts.
Yeah, you get little, like, they're getting bigger though
as I get older.
Oh, they do, that's what it is.
They do get, as you get older, I'm 50,
going on 51 next month.
And yeah, they get bigger.
Mine are probably doubled in size in like two years.
Yeah, they just get bigger and they fucking sag
It's gross. Yeah, I know, but I like it. I'm a man. But there's like a wisdom to them now. Yeah
Yeah, they've been through some shit. Yeah, like they know something
They're swirling a fucking bourbon
I feel like they represent me like they just hang in there come ask them for advice and stuff. Yeah, yeah, shake them
What do you think? Yes or no? They don't say much, but when they do, it's
crucial. You listen. Yeah. I mean, it's, I'm having balls makes you, I mean, what's the
first thing they cut off when they're making you a girl? Yeah. And that's, well, we were,
we were all girls. Did you know that? We were all boys, too. What? No, I'm saying we started as girls.
What are you talking about?
We started as both.
Not.
You start as a girl and then the next drop.
I don't know about you, Paul, but I was always a man.
I was always a boy, this new age, horseshit.
No, I think somebody said that and I believed it.
Are you just saying something, somebody said that
you don't even know?
We're not.
No, it's the have a fact no
We were all girls we we start out in conception as girls and then not drop
Pretty sure we started as both and then at one point how long and there's one point you you're whatever
Picks aside
Picks a sometimes it picks both but most of the time it says oh
You I believe your clitoris is your penis. Yeah becomes a penis and your vagina lips be our balls
If you look at yeah, if you look at a labia, it's just not it's not without the ball. Yeah, you have a Google giant
Yeah, it's just a small
Clint giant Clint is a penis. Yeah, really. Absolutely. Three signs you started as a girl.
Yeah.
I read that to us.
We can't, I can't read it.
Basically, I'm right.
No, you're not.
You're not right.
It would just be if you're human.
Can you please, yeah, can you please bring up?
Nipples are.
Don't bring that up, Max.
Bring up my question.
How long into when you're a fetus?
This is just awesome. Three fucking dumb dumb. Yeah, no clue. We've never listened in health class. There's zero science here
Oh, it's great. Hey, we started as a girl. I mean, it's the dumbest it may it's the best and this is what you should be coming to for
You know's and for your information is three dumb dumb's upstairs from the comic
Cell because we're gonna figure it out right now other people just say shit and leave it out there We're're gonna figure it out right now. Other people just say shit and leave it out there.
We're actually gonna figure it out.
I'm gonna nerd on a computer right now,
trying to figure it out.
Are we both at the beginning?
What's the date?
What date into pregnancy?
Can you figure it out?
11th.
You can find out what sex the baby is.
You gotta wait, I had a kid,
we should know this.
Seven weeks or something? I think it's like, yeah, it's like two weeks. So if wait, I had a kid, and we should know this. Seven weeks or something?
I think it's like, yeah, it's like,
I think it's like two weeks.
So if you were to do two months,
a couple, two months, two months or something like that?
They do little scan.
Yeah, I think at like seven weeks or eight weeks,
it's about two months they can get a good picture
and like 90% tell you what it is.
Yeah, and they were right with us both times.
Yeah, they can tell you.
We found out it was good.
You can be like, I'll keep it if it's a boy.
Whoa, what? You know, what if it's a girl you don't throw it out?
Fucking flush it flush it. What the fuck kind of I'm pro life dude. Sorry. You're such a fucking showvinist a pig
Pro choice, dude. Stop doing your little act. You don't make sense
He's like damn but then make sense you want to kill the baby or not because it's a woman pro choice
How is that so you want to because it's a girl? I just believe the women have the option to do what they want
But you if it's a woman you throw it down the tubes
It's a you're probably more likely to get rid of how about save the baby and throw a fucking wife down the tubes here
We go now we're talking all right listen first. Well. I love I'm joking. I don't know what happened
Do we start I asked a question about the wall?
We were talking I just fucking scumbag throws a joke because his accent you don't know if it's getting a nod
He says if it's a boy keep it if it's a girl flush it
I love that this kid is drinking a fucking 24 ounce fucking champagne appears. This is what I was that's fantastic
This is provided to me by the host. I guess he's a showstopper
I don't think I'm fucking red wine show stuff. I fucking run you can have whatever you want
What do you want? It's too late now. What do you mean it's too late? Huh? I mean?
What do you mean you have red wine up here? You don't listen snobboy, okay? This isn't the fucking no
I'm not talking about this isn't the LAT fucking island. This is you know, I mean you want to be
LAT you want some bourbon we'll get you some bourbon. No bourbon. I'm not getting you a fucking shardin. You want a meldic?
The fuck he's got a fucking...
Tall boy, we got one. You want one? No, I can't drink that.
What does it say? Read it out loud.
All right, so this is all human individuals whether they have an XX or an XY
or an atypical sex from a own combination of being
developing from the same point.
Can you dumb it down please?
I don't understand it enough.
Oh God.
You don't understand it.
We're fucked if you don't get it.
Yes.
It says we're all we start out as
female.
Look at the bottom.
Look at the end of it.
Look at it.
Right.
Is that what it says?
Does that it doesn't it say
that at the beginning no
matter what at the beginning
you're female and then if the
and then if the testicles drop your man a man now yeah
Oh, can you answer him?
You just I don't say it where at the bottom of which paragraph. Ah, you just got where the purple shit was
The highlight the dumbest people with so stupid when yelling at this boy kids science making a
YK WD. Science. Science.
I got fucking two chains out.
I'm going,
we all started as fucking women, right?
And then the balls drop.
Isn't that right?
I'm asking some guy.
You're a chick.
You don't have to look that up.
I don't even know why I said that to do.
I don't know what the fuck.
Who cares?
I'm just asking,
what do we start out as?
You know what?
I fucking.
As chicks.
We start out as female Bobby
We're all female at the beginning and
If the nuts drop you become a boy and if they don't you stay a female. Where does it say that?
He just read it didn't he now? He didn't know he didn't you fucking cunt. Oh, Paul said I saw here
We go confidently. I just believe them. Yeah, I know he's here. Do we all start out as female?
now Confidently, I just believed them. Yeah, I know he's here. Do we all start out as female? Now
Re-signed you started as a girl. That's the same thing. We were once all female science alert look
We were all must why are you talking me like I'm not from this country right now. Wait me. We are all I mean
I'm just ready. Okay, but I'm just trying to get to the bottom. I'm glad you found it.
All right, here we go.
I still don't believe you.
What?
Look, what does it say?
We were all female.
Dude, that's so fucking blogged by a female.
I don't believe that.
It's called science alert.
All right, I believe it now.
It may come, listen, I'll read it.
It may come as a surprise to some of our male readers,
but you, ready?
But you all actually started out as females.
And then what happens is,
yeah, hold on, you're all cold.
No, okay, okay.
This is what somebody told me.
What happens is, in this either, either the thing,
look at you, you're like a scientist.
I think, right, if they stay up their ovaries
of some shit and if they drop their balls something like that that could be wrong
that could be that could be wrong if they
stay up I love it if they drop their balls or some shit like that
let me tell you something if they stay up it's an ovary all right and if they drop down
they're fucking boys would that be like telling like a mob guy like god Are you something who was a woman? Yo, these look like ovaries to you who started out as a what what are you playing here
We're literally in the middle of talking. He's playing something while we're talking
Can you pause it please? I'm right. So that worked is that yeah, we're good with the thank you
Nice, but I you know, I don't know but I mean, you're right, but I don't like...
I really don't like you.
Fucking, you're confident Ted talk when you're not at your right.
Because two people told me it, so I was glad that it is.
One of them was Bretterance, which is hilarious.
And then somebody else said it though,
we all start as females and then they drop or they don't.
That's what I heard. So luckily I was right.
And yours dropped.
So did yours?
And yours did too, but they were little.
Little Irish ones. They that still drop them every year
Irish fucking pebbles could you imagine how your balls are gonna be when you're 70
oh makes your sneeze what do you learn just the big balls
yeah it's it's it's it's that we just went on the thing and it was you know
you know I don't know how to handle it or talk about it.
Yes, that's where we get to right there.
The Italian.
It's your fucking Italian upbringing that you don't know how to communicate.
Let's deal with that.
I want to go inside Anthony right now.
I want to get into the, who Anthony is.
Let's get to where you are.
This is what I say happened, ready?
And tell me if I'm wrong.
All right.
You took the last thing you were thinking about
was Dave not being with you when you went down to South Carolina.
Probably. Yeah. And you had all this shit, you went down to South Carolina. Probably. Yeah.
And you had all this shit, you're going to sell that fucking
gaudy house, which is not selling because it's way priced way too high
because you have a fucking gambling addiction, your data 20 year old.
Okay. And you have helicopter toys in your garage that you can't get rid of.
Okay. Because you waited too long to put them on eBay you
Every asshole has a drone now and you still have a fucking full-size helicopter in your garage
That's it work
But you you sit to all this shit in the network and you leave in the studio and who's wearing what's happened
And this and subscriptions and people and
And here you're going down there and everything and you got to get out and here you're going down there and everything,
and you gotta get out and here you are,
and all of a sudden, hey dude,
I'm gonna leave the show.
I'm gonna blah, blah, blah,
and he got an offer that is, you know,
forget about friends or business,
was like this is a solid thing, and I don't know what's happening with you
I don't know what's going on I don't and he's like I'm gonna go over here and you're like
because you're you're not a fucking dickhead you're not an at your man all right dude do what you
gotta do I'll do I would do what I have to do you're gonna do what you have to do so okay but it hurt
You're gonna do what you have to do. So okay, but it hurt
No, it's didn't hurt. It's frustrating. It's gonna make way stop before you step over that listen to me
Stop before you listen. I'm not Kevin Brennan. I'm the opposite
Okay, I give you I give love love Kelly from Aruba. This is a movie. This is a movie of Bob, you know what?
When he did that, it hurt.
It hurt and you're like, fuck man.
I didn't, I thought everything was alright.
I thought, you know, and now you gotta deal with this.
And it's like, fuck that.
But, but Bob, I gotta step in.
You're mistaken.
I am not hurt.
I don't get hurt. I don't get hurt. Everybody gets hurt. You're not a superhero.
No, I don't hurt.
Sing the song.
Sometimes everybody cries. Even Anthony everybody has to think he wasn't leaving.
No, I don't.
It's my grosses so atrocious.
The trouble with a lot of fucking people these days is that
personally hurt by things.
This is business and I understand it 100 fucking percent.
I'm not hurt, but it frustrates me.
It made me angry at the way things went down
because it wasn't, hey, I'm gonna go with this guy.
It was, hey, I went with this guy.
That's how it, that's how it was.
So, so that got me kind of like, you know,
I stepped into the studio Monday thinking, yeah, the day. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Just Dave, hi Dave.
Yeah.
Let's sing this song again.
Everybody heard me body hurts.
Sometimes.
Sometimes. time. We would do in the show together.
I was hurt, but I swear he tries, he's trying to analyze me. It isn't a hurt thing. I don't
take these things personally, but I was frustrated. Straight it It is hurt my therapist said frustration and anger is hurt inside out
Got you god turn your
Gawd inside out
I'm on shitty hotel Wi-Fi and this is such an important conversation. I'm so it's better than boss is fucking Wi-Fi
Rather than here in Vosko, what's that?
It sounds like it's like I'd rather do chip show.
Yeah.
What's that?
So he was saying, you're saying that he was not,
you would not hurt, you would just frustrate him.
Well, it was frustrating because it really did.
We did talk about,
about Crowder and
Dave going down and doing Crowder show for a week talk about, uh, about, uh, Crouter and, and, uh,
Dave going down and doing Crouter show for week and then
Skyping up and again, I had no fucking issues with that.
I, I wasn't into it happening every week or every other week.
Like it was going to be two weeks in a row.
That's a little much or one week and then one week here and then a week back in Texas. I was kind of like, eh, that's a little much, but I didn't, I wasn't saying, hey,
don't you fucking do that. And then with the email, it was just kind of like, hey, I'm
doing this now, and I even asked, kind of like, uh, is, is the crowd, is crowd are gunning
for you and stuff. And from the impression I got, it was no.
And then he did.
And again, I get it.
But I have to say something, I have to be like,
yeah, it's what it is.
I get it.
You know, Dave.
Right.
Dave.
No, I get that.
And I didn't mean to, I'm trying to,
it's really like coming in. Like it sounds like a guitar is in the middle of your voice because I'm on shit Wi-Fi
You're on your phone, right? I was playing everybody. No, I'm on a laptop. Is it on Safari?
Is it what are you on Safari? I
Don't think so. You need Firefox or Chrome. Yeah.
You need Firefox?
Oh, Chrome, yeah.
Chrome, I get Chrome.
Type of Chrome.
Well, come back, go on Chrome and put the URL back.
Let me log on on Chrome.
Yeah, we're going to trash you some more.
So go do that.
Just trash me while I'm on Chrome.
Hold on, just, I think I'm going to be back.
Oh, hi. Hey, anyways, so you got an open spot.
Now Kelly's looking for a spot.
I'm going to, I'm going to leave Calta for Kumia.
I'm coming down.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not, I'm not openly searching for a co-host.
That doesn't matter.
I'm going to step in.
I know you, I know you too.
You don't have enough feelings to ask me because you don't want to hurt you know you don't want to hurt Dave's
feelings. You're all emotional. I'll step in. I'm all emotional. But let me let me let me ask you
something Anthony. Please you do have that. I don't know if it's an Italian thing. I don't know if it's an alpha male, a generational thing. But you, and as a comic,
a lot of us are emotionally connected.
We wear our hearts on our sleeve.
We give very, you know, you know,
and we have to, because that's how we analyze things.
We take it, we rip it apart, we go fuck that,
and we go on stage.
Do you have one of your friends?
Say he's not mad, but he's frustrated.
It's fucking mad.
That's what he doesn't, I didn't hurt his feelings.
Go fuck yourself.
Like you're talking like my wife talks.
No, I'm not, I am not mad.
I am frustrated.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm not, it's just, is that it? Is that better? It's
moderately better. Oh, okay. Well, that was like how I felt.
It's really, you know, once people think it's a fucking, you know, a fucking melodrama
or a romcom where, you know know we're going to the rom com
uh... no i don't get
i have a
this is a happy bobby
this what i'm happy about for davi that he's moving on
because now
he doesn't you know forcing him to get a
hitler youth haircut to do the show anymore
he can actually get a regular hair cut
oh yeah
because the congress actually a lesbian.
It's Christ.
It's the total opposite.
He told me I had to have a progressive haircut
to balance him out.
Correct.
So now, I mean, it is, you guys made a great couple,
if I say it in a side-queer way. I mean, Dave Landau, when you look at do, when you made a great couple, if I say it in a sidequeer way.
I mean, Dave Landau, when you look at,
when you look at for somebody and you pick Dave,
I was like, I was like, I love Dave,
but I was like, that is so fucking out of left field.
But then when I saw him, I'm like, it's so perfect.
This is so beautiful.
There, I mean, two years.
It's so subtle.
Really good.
Really great shows. Perfect. There's no one in there. I mean, two years. So subtle. Really good.
I know.
Really great shows.
Yeah, I mean, there's no, I'm not, like I said,
and that's what I kind of wanted to tell Dave,
was obviously with the way things went down,
I, because of the show, I have to get on and have fun with it.
And the way we have fun is Boston Balls.
And it wasn't anything personal.
I'm not gonna sit there and, you know, badmouth anybody
about that you or crowd or anything.
But I gotta make some jokes.
You know, I can't just be like, oh well, I guess, yeah, it's you.
You know, I had to make some jokes.
The Kevin Brennan thing, Kevin Brennan snuck into our studio.
Oh, I know.
I don't blame you on that at all.
And went on.
Aaron actually text me after I go, Anthony, I want you to know, we didn't even book
Kevin.
He just came in and said, and I just thought it would be hilarious because everyone's
speculating who's after his co-hosts going to be now. And it's like Kevin Brennan, ha ha never happened that so it's funny
he's there and go sit in the chair yeah my co-host Kevin Brennan who would never be my
co-host but it was it was a funny show it was ball-busting it was whatever it is but Dave I
got no fucking problems with you I don't have a problem I understand what you're doing
what you you know that you want to move on you have to do what's a problem. I understand what you're doing, what you, you know, that you
want to move on, you have to do what's best for you. I'm not the guy that's going to hold
anyone to anything and go, hey, you, you don't do that. Because I said, let's, you know,
you sit there and do a show with somebody that resents you. Yeah, that's fucking, I did
that for 20 fucking years. It's not fun. So that's not the issue. I thought it really came out of the
blue. I saw it coming, but it's because I saw it coming. It wasn't like I was told or anything.
So, you know, that's the only, and that's the only kind of thing that I have a problem with with this.
And it's not even that big a problem.
I still have like utmost respect for you as a comic and a broadcast earner, just a good
guy.
Yeah, with me, like I just thought, am I coming through?
I hope so, so much.
Yeah.
When we talk three weeks ago, I called you because we were trying to talk in studio.
And we would sit there and then I look over and like, Loube is just looking over at us.
Or we're sitting on the couch like a couple of fruits and people are coming in and out.
And it's like, yeah, we kept trying.
And then we even tried to have the conversation across the street.
And then there's like, bombs coming up.
It's just like, God damn it.
So when I called you and I said, you know,
you said, are they making an offer?
I said, yeah.
And I was considering it only for the stability
of South Carolina.
Not that I wasn't gonna go back on your show
or not anything, but I was what I was considering
because I didn't know.
You said you weren't 100% sure what was gonna go on with that.
And I know you're selling your house
and at that time I thought that.
Fucking Bobby.
It's gonna fucking be a rust bucket
with vines growing through the fucking kitchen.
Nobody's buying that fucking stupid house.
Go ahead, sorry, Dave.
Don't worry.
Jesus Christ.
He's the one.
You're not, you're not helping him.
Oh, sorry, Dave, go ahead. The house is garbage. Go ahead. He's the one you're not you're not helping him
House of garbage
The last thing I would ever want to do is not do radio with you wherever disrespect you and the reason why that
It was the resignation letter that I sent earlier shut the fuck up. I was just wondering what you did. Even though it was the last thing you'd ever want to do.
Oh my god, I didn't have to instigate it. I'm sorry.
I did. We look, there was no need to be hurt. He's not hurt. If you met him,
I don't get it. That's my job. The guy is fucking embedded. He has a superhero.
No, one, you know what my kryptonite is you know
what hurts me yes I do it's taste I'm just girls no one else nothing
else pretty close relationships with girls have hurt me over the years anything
else don't give a fuck yeah that's true and if they do hurt you, you're
just saying you're fighting by a little more loop.
So bad day. So one. Sorry. It's just no expression of
tape. Expression feelings to a person who has no feelings.
Go.
Fortunately, I like men.
It's a huge issue, but I have three lesbian moms.
Yeah, she's raised by lesbians.
Oh, that's cool.
That's cool.
Yeah, I know a couple of friends of mine are.
Lesbians?
Yeah, well, Don's friends up and her best friends up will we live or two moms?
Don is a good voice.
Shoot a lesbian name.
And they have the fathers, the two fathers are gay.
What a dream.
So everybody has AIDS.
And no, Jesus Christ, it's lesbians.
That's right, guys, that's why I'm working in Cellar.
That's right, that's why I'm working in Cellar.
Everyone has AIDS, am I right folks?
Yeah.
Two dads, two moms.
No, the dads who donated the yeah
where gay
so the dads were gay
and they
and gave them the sperm to have and that the kids go to the sea and that the
dad's
actually how they have they created coven
uh... that expected
that was a
it was a little on lab they made that
quadruple gay baby
and it unleashed
COVID on to society. Do you think like babies?
They allowed the kids are I mean they've just hold on he was about to say something.
Oh shit. I said I don't think they allow that in China. Double gay babies.
That's true. They were fucking. They were just
like double gay. It's like double champ. Double
double champ. It is funny.
I wonder if the boys though,
I just, they're not gay.
I don't think they're gay.
They're too young, one of them is,
but I think they're.
Because it's nature and nurture.
They're being raised by gays and they're made from gays.
It's like a hundred percent that these kids are gonna be gay.
You're right.
No, no relation, that's not it.
Me and my sister are,
you know nothing about the subject.
Yeah, I don't know what you're doing. I don't, it doesn't make you gay. You're right. No, no. No, no. That's not me. Me and my sister are you know nothing about this subject. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't. It doesn't make you you're gay. You guys know nothing about
science. I love it. Sounds like a closeted gay man who's like there. Everybody else is gay.
I'm parents are straight. So I'm straight. That sounds horrible. Okay. I've been gay. I've been
gay for the bit like eight times. I'm not afraid of my gayness.
I suck Bobby Kelly's dick on fucking camera.
That's okay, that was disturbing.
What the fuck is that?
Who the fuck are you talking to, bro?
I suck his dick, bro.
Why suck his fucking dick?
He will fight you.
I know, I know.
And you won't go to the same train.
He goes to him still.
I know, I just can get away with your little dick.
Did you fucking, you fought, you actually fought it, dude, right?
I did fight it, God.
How did that go?
I won.
Hell yeah.
I'm under bearded.
Yeah, you did, but here's the thing, the dildo,
you bought the dildo.
I did, I fought it.
You don't have a bit about this in my act now, right?
No, I don't want to hear it.
You fucked the dildo.
No, he bought a dildo, we had a blowjob competition.
A friend of mine, Bailey J, who was like,
the number one trans-poin star in the world,
is a good friend of mine.
And he is a good friend of mine.
So we had a blowjob competition, life.
And-
So he goes to me, he goes, he, you wanna do this?
And I'm a young comic, right?
I'm impressionable.
He's taking advantage of me, by the way.
This is my personal need to-
That's what he does, yeah.
It's really true.
So I was like, I wanna do this.
Anything to get on stage, whatever,
let the sellers right when they opened up
the village on the ground for comedy shows.
It was like this big deal, 250 people,
live podcast recording taping. And I bought the Dildo, which is the problem.
He bought his deck. I bought it, I bought, no, it was white, it was a five inch, it was like a, it was a four and three quarter inch deck. It couldn't have looked any more like Bobby's deck. It was misshapen, it was miscolored.
But I put it, my deck is nice. Really? Yeah, I got to say.
Let's see. was miscolored. But I put it, my dick is nice. Really? Yeah, I got that fuck.
Who would know?
Well, it was nice.
Let's put it there.
It used to be nice.
Now it's...
What happened to it?
Now it's hidden.
It's hidden in between a thiz and stomach.
It's inside.
It would take a lot to get it.
It's inside.
Yeah, you'd have to...
It doesn't have to be tight.
It's in a skin action type of kidnapping thing.
Yeah, let's forget it out.
I see.
I see it.
It's lost to shit.
It knows what it wants and it's not coming out for any.
Yeah.
He would have to be eating his ass. You guys are fucking sticking
something in his head. Yeah. So, but he what happened the reason why it look
real is that I put it through my zipper. So instead of holding it up, I put it
through the zipper. So it looked like he was sucking my
so I go first, right? And I really like I'm competitive. So I really want to
stop you. I'm going to stop you right now what you're lying
You've sucked a dick because the technique he used no, I've had my dick stuff
I've had my dick sucked well you went I
Spent on it. I need to know you went like this you went
Down and then you re-tilt back to the right.
I put my hand in between his legs,
and grabbed his ass cheek, and I pulled him into my face.
Woo!
The crowd, by the way, the crowd, standing ovation.
I didn't know any of these were effective.
At this point.
But the girl, hold on, hold on, hold on.
It's supposed to be 30 seconds.
The buzzer goes off, I keep going.
I keep, I'm like, I'm choking tears
of rolling down my face.
I'm literally filling up.
Tears rolling down my face.
The crowd's chanting my fucking name.
That's it.
How did you knock it hard?
I was.
Yeah.
So then I was, but I had a dick in front of my dick
holding my dick down.
Thank God.
He did so good.
The my friend.
The whole I hope that's not why it didn't,
that's what happened. She was just smart.
Billy J. It's her turn to go. I was like follow that and I dropped the mic. I was like follow that bitch.
I said that's your drop the dead. He dropped a dick. Yeah, and then she goes she goes. Yeah. I'm good. I forfeit.
So I just stuck this dick on stage for no reason. For no reason.
Cracked losing their fucking mind, but here's what's funny now it is 10 years later
Everyone can just literally just screen crack grab a thing on their phone. So now there's just a
38-second clip of me sucking like he's thought I saw Bobby Kelly's deck on stage. I did
You're like I saw
People see it I have people hit me up like dude. What the fuck like what happened?
But I have to to my son one day. I have to sit him down and show it to him be like listen this is what a bit is
And his son of my son or best friends
and I'm going to have to tell my son to this how you bitch something
like you make somebody a bitch when when when when shapel gave everybody a chain with his name on it and I'm like
I The Chappelle gave everybody a chain with his name on it. And I'm like, what? I literally, you know, living man's,
you know, like living man, fuck is wrong with you.
What kind of self respect a human being
is gonna wear a living man's theme
around their neck?
I understand everybody wants to go to the fucking farm
and do the comedy, whatever, right?
So you put the chain around your neck, but like this is not some fucking documentary about some crazy like
Indian Sherpa on Netflix
I am a
I have a sufi necklace that I wear
Sufi necklace that I wear. Thank you so much.
Yes.
I would wear the Dave necklace if I was hanging from a rafter.
Okay.
I just, I couldn't believe it.
And I said it once on like, brilliant idiots.
And then like, I guess Donnell got all upset about it.
And I'm like, we're comedians.
Like, you got a man's name on your neck that's alive.
That's alive.
There's like one guy in history you can wear on your neck.
Jesus is the only guy and then that's totally okay.
Everybody else, what do you put on your neck for?
Throw a bottle.
Are we throw a bottle at the staff?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That's a beautiful.
One girl I dated, we got like a male escort
to come over and she blew him in front of me.
And it was kind of hot, but it got weird after like,
I had jealous like the third time we did it.
That's because she made you leave the room original.
What the fuck are you doing?
Of course, that.
These waters suck.
You can't open them without them squeezing on your face.
It's like my dad.
If you get a horse, I will fucking you. You would come over and ride it. Absolutely. Yeah, you would fuck my dad. If you get a horse, I will fucking...
You would come over and ride it.
Absolutely.
Yeah, you would fuck my hero.
Dude, I got the best saddle ever.
Nobody's had a fucking saddle like this.
It plays iTunes.
I drop mud.
You sure you don't want to sandwich?
I hate to do this.
This is the most mush moment ever.
But hey, mush, give me my hundred back.
Oh!
Oh! What's this? What's this? This is the most mush moment ever, but hey mush, give me my hundred back. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm not saying that you did it. Relax Liz.
All right.
Liz, it was funnier if he didn't.
Yeah, thanks for being the break of comedy.
I don't know.
I can't save this show.
YKWD fans, you are the best fans in the fucking world.
Musashi!
What is it?
I was saying thank you. What's Mashe! What is this? What?
I was saying thank you.
What's Mashe?
What's Mashe?
What's Mashe?
What's Mashe?
Arigato!
Domo!
Don't do that ever again.
Alright.
I find it too adorable and I would want you to...
Robert!
I don't have that!
Moshe Mashe!
Why do I...
You do it.
It's not adorable.
He does it.
It's adorable.
You do it like an American... ...not a sail adorable. You do it like an American. I'm Sally.
Oh,
Mossey Mossey.
Oh,
Oh,
God, it's on page.
Oh my God.
You're lucky we're behind the paywall.
What are you talking about?
We're
seven
and
I
think I
think I
Why is that better?
I'm in a minute, dude.
Get off me.
I'm in different markets.
What you want?
What you
going?
That is so
a
nonsense.
Listen, dude.
We're going to go. Dude, I love you guys. I don't know. Patreon.com. That's so offensive. Listen, dude, we gotta go. I love you guys, patreon.com.com.
If you're in Japan, make sure you check out Big Worm, little princess, my new cartoon
coming out on the Kyoto Network.
This is not representative of Big Worm, little heart.
Not even me.
That's so offensive.
See you guys next week on You Know What's In The Hall.
Yeah, I don't forget to get a wiki for the true talk. Not even me. That's so offensive. See you guys next week on You Know What Dude? Yeah, and then forget the guy to wicket for a true dog.
It's not a billi-ass set.
Best, best, best, best thing you're for a true fucking
parcel of me.
Stop it. Stop it.
Hey, stop it. You drink some water after haze.
See ya. Bye.
Bye. I will see you guys next week.
You know what, dude? See you next week.
You know what, dude? Bye.
You know what, dude? We'll see you next week.
See you guys next week on You Know What, bye. You know what, dude, we'll see you next week. See you guys next week on You Know What, Dude, You Know What, Dude.
We hope you like it.
Thanks for being part of my Patreon.
You know what, dude, you know what, dude, later. A-W-D podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
you