Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Black Magic
Episode Date: April 30, 2018Guests Stavros Halkias, Brandon Collins and Cort McCown join Bobby Kelly to discuss Nick Di Paolo's removal from SiriusXM, the impact of Social Media and Stavvys missing tooth! Learn more about your a...d choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth.
This is going to be a claustrophic.
It's podcast, no rules.
I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?
Can I get a microphone?
Oh, that's so f**k.
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down.
Yeah.
And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down
Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it
Side to the coin
Daydying my podcast is popular. I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com.
I will back on last week's episode of fucking Dicky.
I'm gonna be the best comment. Cheers, please.
Just raise your index finger on your left hand.
I don't know. Even though that was my. Just raise your index finger on your left foot.
Even though that was my right hand, I needed to be your left.
We'll get another great show this week.
I think the show's been fucking amazing every week.
Last week we had a magician in Dan Soda.
What more?
I mean, what more than that?
We have a Black Dinesdavra system.
Which is very similar to a magician,
and we have a slip-in, a friend of mine,
just snuck in.
Snuck in.
A slip-in, I call it a slip-in.
A slip-in.
A court, Macau.
One of my good friends from a long time ago,
for a long time.
I've been in, and I haven't seen you two, dweebs.
I know.
It's so long I miss you faces.
I miss you, daddy.
Ah, ba-ba. I'm gonna cry when I miss you daddy. Oh, blah, blah.
I'm gonna describe what I saw.
I'm gonna fuck a bubble.
Oh, Rich Vos is calling.
This should be fun.
Rich, you're live on the YKWD podcast.
Hey, how's it going?
What do you got?
She's doing it out today.
I have, yeah I got brand-in I got court and I got uh Stavvy baby
my buddy court McCarran yeah it's not it's not McCarran but that's cool
yeah nice try way to go boss you played 18 holes with the guy and you call
them McCarran no McC there you go. Still not right
My buddy Kurt
Yes, court not only is a funny comic yes
He's a great golfer
Yeah, I've never heard that's the oldest thing i've ever heard anybody say
okay no
he's a hilarious guy and he's really good at bridge
what
what okay well i'm just saying you know i'm saying some of his better qualities
you know
what about your better can you work on your better qualities? I don't have any better qualities. I do know, I do know if you guys are looking for work,
there's an opening and serious. She's just surprised. You know what, you're such a fucking piece of garbage.
I am?
Yes, I mean right out of the gate
and the news broke fucking 15 minutes ago
and you're already on it.
Oh, two soon?
Well the guy just lost his fucking job.
It's rich at home right now editing.
Editing is podcast and sending in little clips.
He's not doing that.
Call Jack.
No, Bonnie is.
Call Jack right now and tell him, me and you, me and you.
Me and you.
I wouldn't want to do that.
That's time slot five nights a week.
Are you fucking stupid?
Wait, what are we going to do?
Yes, yes. You fucking at what what are you fucking stupid wait what are we gonna
You want to go to fucking the chuckle lick hot down and fucking
Boise Idaho
Radio fan saying Chucklehead listen to fucking blow
Your
Stink Okay, you're Your your
Cort
That's
I think we got a radio show
We got a
I mean yeah, what I love doing comedy but if I had a radio show four or five nights a week and I could just do
Saturdays and sell it on mini theater and make the fucking same amount money
I was gonna make doing Friday and Saturday fucking yeah, I would do a radio show and then be home every night
You shut your face and let me finish my red
Show together we have to work together. Okay, you can't see the mini-feeder.
Now let me tell you.
You can't see the mini-feeder.
Wait a minute, you have one mini-feeder.
You shut up. You have just mini-feeder.
It's what they do to build up.
Oh, Bobby's in town.
Let's build a mini-feeder.
That's how I'm still like standing mini-feeder.
So you can open for you.
One of your fucking slaves that you got working in there. to the Bob Kelly show would you get that shirt
Listen listen to me all I'm gonna say to you is this go make some calls
Yeah, really that worked out for you. She doesn't like me since day two. So if she if she laughs at legit, yeah, usually she's staring at the side
of my neck with fucking disdain. She walked up to me today with a thing of coffee, she
goes, I got you one too. I'm like, oh yeah, well it's my show. I appreciate that.
Well, I think she's a hard worker. She's a very hard worker. I mean one of the best. And not only a hard worker. I heard, uh, I mean, not only that,
she'll go to the shows. She's what's going on around town. She's trying to stay,
you know, in the loop of things. Oh, God.
Which boss wants to. That was it. huh? That was all you got? Yeah, I took what I took, but I can't take the more.
Oh my god, if he's gonna call back, I just couldn't take it.
This is trick. Hey, what are you doing?
Where's he gonna call back? He goes, I think we got cut off.
He's buying time to think of something.
Well, she's nice and she's work on and then thing and then I got one
That's all yeah, it is all right. Hello
Sorry, that was too easy That's what PCS
That's what I'm good at
You're gonna go to the stand later tonight
I'll see you there later tonight
Goodbye I'll talk to you I'll call you there later tonight. All right, goodbye. I'll talk to you. I'll call you right when I'm done.
I can't wait.
I'll take a shower for a bike.
All right, goodbye.
I'll take a shower for a talk to you.
Yeah, what the fuck was that?
We were like, what do we have a couple?
Well, yeah.
Sort of.
We really, I mean, I can't tell you how much I love talking to us.
He's one of my favorite people in the world to talk to.
He's hysterical.
He makes me laugh so fucking hard on the phone.
I can talk to him for hours, really.
I will say this, I used to play a lot of golf with Rich.
And he's one of these guys, you know,
he's got a touch of a temper.
And so we're playing one day and he misses a pot
and he takes his putter and he throws it. And it goes into these kind of rocks area and we're playing one day and he misses a putt and he takes his putt and he throws it.
And it goes into these kind of rocks, you know, area and we're in LA.
And so he goes looking for it because he realizes he doesn't have another putt.
Yeah.
So he's walking in there looking for it.
And I wait till he gets kind of deep in there and I take this big rock.
And I throw it right by him and I go snake.
And then he just high steps it fucking running out of these fucking rocks.
He had to be there.
I don't know if he can high step it
Me I get maybe mediums that mediums this fucking little let's introduce her
Yes, all right, let's introduce our guests and then we're gonna go make some intros
With this fucking what's this app called again?
It's like oh first let me just do before we introduce that let's go to laughable.com you guys know about laughable
Stavvy baby knows that you guys all know laughbole.
If you guys love podcasting, please go download this app.
This app will introduce you to so many more comics.
It is, the functionality of this app is truly amazing.
It is at the forefront of app functionality,
especially for podcasting,
because you know, you want to listen to the same people
with this app, whoever's on the show
You see every podcast they've been on and they manually do this for you
It's a lot of hard work and they put a lot of effort into it. So go download this app laughable.com
Comedy seller Vegas. Let's you know check it out and then
Go to comedy sell.com check out all the stuff and I want you to I'm gonna thank all the new Patreon members this week
Do we get any new stuff from butter? He might be a little busy today. Yeah, let's do that up today
But I mean guys are still coming in we are at 173 now you would up for since this morning. Yeah, it's pretty cute Rob
Yeah, Nick Bullen's gonna great drops
Whoa How dare you right if I had a fucking mustache
He hit you right on the gate mushy might Mike just smacked you right here on the hood.
Yeah, how dare you, Mushy Mike.
I think you're great too, though.
Anyways, I want to thank all those
a bunch of new members in the last couple of days.
The Matt Sarah Live from the shed,
Matt Sarah UFC former Well-To-Way champion came up to my shed.
We had a really fucking great interview.
It's, what are you laughing at?
It was the way you're saying you laugh at my shed.
It sounds so great.
Well, here's the funny part is, is that when they come up,
they all go, oh, it's really in a shed.
Because I think they think I have a studio or something.
It's like a fake shed.
And it's no, you've been in me.
I've been in the shed.
We've been in there many a night, smoking, writing,
doing all kinds of stuff.
And if you've seen the footage, you just don't let that go.
Just don't let that go.
All kinds of activities.
You know, it's just two men, so what? Together in a cabin. Whatever comes up comes up. Just slapping the activities. You know, just two men. So what?
Together in a cabin.
Whatever comes up comes up.
Just slapping those.
Yeah, like hairbears.
We can't touch decks.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
There's no way possibly touch.
We have two sports fields.
This stopper is right there on the front cover of my Patreon.
That's right.
There he is right there.
What a sweetie Petiti.
I missed you, boy.
I know.
What's dinner?
After. And there you go.
I now introduce everybody, Mikey.
Okay, we got court,
McCown right over here.
I think I finally got a little bit more.
Patreon.com, such Robert Kelly.
That's the thing.
One on ones, I forgot to mention this.
We have one on ones every week.
I put a new one on one up.
Every month you get a new life in the shed.
Next month, this month, Matt Sarah,
which is fucking an amazing interview next month Ronnie B
We got two more we just booked
very fucking holy shit guitarist from a holy shit band
And we have another holy shit person
From another mother fucking band and we have an actress coming in the next three or four are gonna be fucking off that you're gonna be like how what the fuck is he doing to get these people
up to Westchester in a shed so I know what he's doing but I really am doing a lot.
A man and a core form.
He just like to be on the audio listeners.
I wish my fan base were fucking drooling kids and fucking people on the spectrum.
That's right.
We're making the autistic community for sure.
They don't even look at the pockets, they listen to it.
They just like the noise while they're sorting Legos, you know?
This is the crowd while they're doing comedy.
Well, they're doing comedy. Yeah, we just jingle keys if we're bombing.
Everybody gets a drone at the end of the show.
If they act that we give them a Rubik's Cube that takes him out for about a few minutes. Simon Says. Yeah.
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
All right, who else?
All right, we got Clark McCown right over there.
We got from Comtown, obviously, we got Stavros,
Howkees right here, and Brandon Collins, guys.
Let's give them for them.
Of course, I don't have credits, apparently.
We just come down.
What do you mean?
You got Craig?
He's got a beautiful podcast. He's got an amazing comedy career and acting career. Yeah. that's apparently. You just come telling. You know what you mean? You got Craig.
He's got a beautiful podcast.
He's got an amazing comedy career and acting career.
He was in standby me.
He was also in...
Can't buy me a lot.
Can't buy me a lot.
Can't buy me a lot.
Why do you always want to say standby me?
Because I want you to stand by me when I find out.
Yeah, okay.
I want you to stand by me.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I won't stand by you.
I'm standing by me.
I'm standing. I'm standing by you. I'm standing by you. I'm standing by me. I'm standing on this. You're credit. It's amazing. Can't find me love and team wolf and a bunch of other shit and comedy
career that spans over 20 years. Yeah. And I got arrested development coming out next
month. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, thank you for slipping in. You're on that. You're
on the new season. Yeah. I did two episodes of the new season with Jeffrey Tambor. Is
he staying in it? Yeah. Everybody's in it. Every single pocket. They're going to write him out. Jason Bateman, even
an added Henry Winkler. Oh nice. Oh, he's fucking new chin. Oh, he's got new chin. No,
he's the hang down. Yeah, it sucks because he's faunsy. Yeah. And now you see him as an old
dude. Yeah. He is so funny. funny and everything he does he's not you
Well, they get fired up
You can make the isolate dad get it. Let's take some town down
So much work
How funny is that is it if somebody really wanted to just I mean they took we take 30 seconds
We're gonna get to make it and you have a beautiful podcast. Yeah, medium popcorn, niggas, bowl of movies.
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
It's a medium popcorn, niggas, bowl of movies.
That's why it is.
That's why it is.
Why guys can never say the title of that.
The popcorn part?
No, the other part.
You slowed out, are you saying the N word when you said it?
Now, how do you put that on iTunes?
So we actually, we used to have it on iTunes
when we took it out because we were getting, we would be like mentioning like time on New York
and then we realized that we were even taken out and I'm like oh it's probably because of
the subtitle so we changed it so it's just medium popcorn now. But our theme song we have
Niggas Pull and Movies under easy lover by Phil Collins. It's probably the best podcast
theme song. That's crazy. We use the same theme song on Come Town.
Did you?
No, no.
The N word.
We just say the N word.
I love it.
I love Star Wars' new confidence.
I never saw it.
I've never seen it.
The mustache.
He used to stand by me waiting for me to take him to Korean barbecue.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, man.
Just pushing his little glasses back.
Now he's like, come town. Yeah.
On come town, we used to use that.
I'm kidding.
I'm just joking.
I'm gonna just take off now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just got a text.
I came here and I just wanted to come and see, I think.
Yeah, still cute.
What you guys doing with the studio.
I love the improvements.
I cannot wait for the dinner, Patron.
Just Rob's you guys.
Oh, yeah, no.
Just a one month, they don't fuck.
What do you mean?
I mean, for him, not for my, my, my, yeah. I mean, my $200. Why, they can't rob you guys. Oh, yeah, no, they don't A you what do you mean? I mean for him not from my
I mean my $200 why they can't rob you. What are you is that just a
What if they were just like oh there's a glitch in the system and like the money just goes and I love how nerds
Just a glitch
I'm packed into the main frame
I learned how to program and I can I can hack it so I don't understand anything these guys are saying
I learned how to program and I can't understand anything these guys are saying I don't know they could they could be bought out by some law I still have a flip phone
I mean you know you gotta go inspection real if I ever won like the mega millions
I would buy like if I want like I don't know if I got like say a billion dollars
Yeah, I would buy patreon and cancel your shit
by Patreon and cancel your show. That's fine, yeah.
No, that makes sense.
I would expect a bit.
You know what Bob was?
That's a great bit.
I didn't deserve it to begin with.
Well planned out.
Well planned out.
Yeah, it's very well done.
That's what you know you're funny.
You know, lively, who gets taken away,
it was funny.
Good bit.
Good bit. That was better than I thought. I ready to live. It was funny, good bit. Good bit.
You know, good bit.
That was better than that.
I mean, I can't eat, but good bit.
Hey, Bob, are you getting gigs you can throw me on?
Yeah.
I'm sick of working with Voss.
Yeah.
We gotta talk about this.
This is fucking outrageous.
I mean, it's, I mean, this is the problem
with the fucking world right now. I mean, I mean, this is the problem with the fucking world right now. I mean right now
This is the problem with everything. What's the problem? I'm telling you right now the fat what happened to your tooth? Oh, yeah
I mean dental disease
You're talking about it is a fucking problem with comedians. I
The first of all the fact that you pull it off. Yeah
The flipper does Does that flipper?
Nobody could pull off a front missing tooth.
You can if you play hockey, but you do not look like you play hockey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that?
We're gonna play Xbox hockey, but not you.
That's right, NHL, yep, I'm on there online.
No, the fact that I just look at it like,
no one's ever fucked because of my appearance anyway.
So what's a missing tooth?
You know what I mean?
Just throw it on you really are pussy sales
I realized I was like his elect is to get box at the end of it
This is signed. Yeah, yeah, it's the cutest little build to I'm gonna eat you a fucking box
It doesn't look like a seating joke better than any fucking skinny guy you'll ever meet
This little roton Greek fucking douche is gonna suck the juices from your
knife and you're gonna fucking lose your mind and it works
and wow that was aggressive buddy I've never seen a guy I've
been on the road with the best okay he's up there thank you
but now I'm saying they're heavier girls. Yeah. You're not the same way to range.
Yeah, it's quite a range.
It's a realm of time to have the same weight class, you know?
So sometimes we feel like a wrestling match,
more than sex.
I don't know.
I don't know.
The last time we were in Vermont.
Oh my god, yeah.
He's he's pussy by a can of...
Yeah, because we're sharing a room.
So I couldn't fucking the room,
so we just went to like a meadow
And I'm just like eating pussy in the there's just a breeze blowing off the bay into my ass
He was next to a cannon
Some guy died for something
And they they wanted him and there's just a little chubby guy eating fucking a nice ginger box right next
I came back his knees were dirty
It looks like he was gardening
Grass behind his
So
So now that you have because you're gonna get used to it not being there and you know what else is gonna happen
You you're gonna get a fix, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, eventually. It just needs the it's got a heel
So you broke it up. It broke. Yeah, I actually I saw I witnessed an assault happening
It doesn't in no one believes me, but yeah, I stepped in I just got the shit kicked out of me
And one of the guys just fucking and what actually happened is I bit it in the chicken wing too hard
I had to make a rule with Stavvy when we first started touring together. I go, you can't have the last one.
He's like, what do you mean?
I go, dude, you have to ask for the last one because we'd eat, I'd look up and it'd
just be gone.
Because I don't need, sometimes I'll stop and I'll just talk and do something.
And there's like three dumplings left and I look up and the dumplings
It got that's right and I'm like what the fuck he's like
You weren't done
Like no, I wasn't fucking it's not a marathon. Yeah
So we'd be on the road all the time and he we've sitting to talk it all of a sudden
You see stuff you quietly staring at me to be like yeah, are you gonna eat that?
Like a dog at the foot of the table just waiting, you know, just I just started to see Stavre quietly staring at me. I mean, are you gonna eat that? Yeah. You can have it.
Like a dog at the foot of the table just waiting, you know?
It's just,
Oh, remember the wing,
oh, I'll just give a little pat on the head.
You can have it,
but little buddy,
you can have it.
Put down some food.
Remember the wings we get up in the candlelight place?
Me.
Oh my god.
What a fucking time.
That was unbelievable.
Me and you eat wings.
It's the same way we just suck the meat on. Yeah. Like a fucking chicken cock. was unbelievable. Me and you ate wings the same way, we just suck the meat off.
Like a fucking chicken cock.
Have you seen, have you?
Yeah.
You know what, like Jesus Christ.
In cartoons, we're like a cartoon cat,
we put a whole fish in its mouth,
and just the bones would come out.
That's how we eat wings.
And he says, yeah.
I would, but Treesay, I remember watching
Treesey wings downstairs.
He was just suck.
Yeah.
The fucking meat would be gone.
Black magic.
The marrow. I don't know what you're gonna do. Black magic. Black or magic. He would just suck the fucking meat would be gone any black magic the marrow
Black girl magic
The culpatrice of black woman
This cuz he had titties
Shit black magic that's hilarious. I'm glad you said it
Wish Davor said we could take him down.
What a fuck. Come down to the stomach.
Kays, he says I'm a black people. Well, here we go. I mean, so you two, this is going
to come back, right?
Yeah, I'm going to get an implant at some point.
Are they going to have to make it the same color as the other teeth?
Yeah, yeah, they're going to come out of the hatch.
I had it done before. I had my tooth not.
Yeah, yeah. How long did it take the whole process?
Once you get the once you get the thing like once it all heals up then they put a you can put a bridge and
It's less expensive. Yeah, I don't want a bridge because I had a gap. I want my gap back
I want the gap back baby. It's 100% well. I'll tell you this
It's five times as much to have the thing put in because they have to surgically implant a post in there
I don't know and then that goes in then they put a temporary on top of that, and then that takes a while
for it because he got to wait for it to grow in.
I hope you don't get the gap.
I hope you get perfect movie star teeth.
Look at this, right?
There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
You have LAT.
No, no, absolutely not.
What, but you shut people like something different about stuff.
They don't know.
It's just you're a fucking amazing Superman smile. I just get them all white
The problem you should get a gap though because the pussy can get caught between your gap and that happened to me when I used to have a gap
Wait, you have a god because I got these two not that fucking blowing bats
Why were you eating pussy for sustenance?
What is going on?
You guys eat some nasty pussy. It wasn't a huge gap.
It was just like, you know, I was getting really enthusiastic.
They just got clipped on the top.
That's horrible.
Pussy Lips sounds just to be that thin to go.
It's not dental floss.
Well, you know, I was getting creative.
Angel hair pussy lips.
Is that what you're already doing?
Capillini.
Oh, I take some capers in here.
I'm more of a ricotta, man.
Oh, she's so awesome.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, too fast.
That's what the fuck is, this is disgusting.
That's what the fuck is ever.
Oh, fuck.
Wow.
That's some real truffle oil for you.
I'm here to say that your gap, I like it.
I mean, you're the one you have now.
Oh, good.
I think you look good, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
I think you pull, if anybody could pull it off,
I have a half a tooth right here.
When I was in sixth grade, Eddie Ragazini,
I was in the bathroom.
We were fucking, fucking around.
That's an interesting place, Paulus.
Yeah, that's a pretty good place to check for tooth pause. Yeah, that's not the truth.
He was the chipper tooth.
We were, I went to the stall, we were like chasing each other
in the hall, I ran into the bathroom, ran into the stall.
He kicked that fucking, I was like hiding like this.
Oh.
You do that.
Last thing in the world, I thought I was just gonna
fucking karate kick the door open.
Oh, shit.
I guess his mom put him in Taekwondo the week before
so he was all whipped up.
He kicked that thing and my two shattered and half.
Oh, dude, it was fucking painful.
And I've had to get it repaired over the years.
You're really gonna see it now, but.
No, I never was.
It's a fucking bummer.
That sucked.
For me, like having a half a tooth,
you look like a fucking weird.
I used to have, I had a flipper for years,
like a retainer that had a tooth in it for a long time.
Oh, yeah, hockey guy, I think.
Yeah, I had one too, but I lost it.
I had, because it's like,
It's probably the worst thing is this,
when you're in high school.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's probably the worst thing is this,
when you're in high school.
No, you go.
No, you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't listen, turn these off.
I got you to get things.
Come on, this better be good, it was a long boring anecdote
No, I'm trying to help you man, I'm just trying to help you now. I'd go get the fucking thing
And a nice fucking pussy to retain it
Yeah, I felt it. I was excited to tag it
I'm gonna piss that out at a fucking bar go. I think I swallowed the guy
Wasn't that worth it, but I mean
All right, well here's I mean let's get into this. This is I mean there's so much shit
I will here's I mean let's get into this. This is I mean there's so much shit Nick DePolo got fired. Why?
I'm gonna tell you fucking shitty audience member
My wife's a bitch
What call boss What? Kovas. I'm gonna say, who says, I literally
with this fucking thing he's gonna read.
All right, all right, all right.
Go ahead.
All right, go ahead.
He got fired today from serious side.
I think today or yesterday, from serious satellite radio.
Now, I'm gonna say this and I've said it before
and I'm not just saying it, I love Nick's show.
He was a little right for me. I am not that and I'm not just saying it. I love Nick's show. He was a little right for me.
I am not that and I'm a little more center leaning,
whether you believe it or not, stop roast.
But Nick, I think Nick was too.
I think for the joke or for the, you know,
blah, blah, blah to get his point across.
He went over here, but Nick was always funny,
trying to be funny, always had his point of view of view had his and I think it was something on
serious needed it wasn't like a such a left show or a safe show it was a show that lived on the
edge and and leaned right a little bit and and talked to a certain amount of people and gave
those people a show and also gave people on the left a show to call in and fucking debate
okay which I think is needed too
And he would always talk to people and he always tried to find the funny and he would bring shit up that you'd want to talk about
Didn't even know that you were like yeah, I fucking hate that and all that sucks
Or I want to say and he would he would do that now and he didn't he look if people set out rages
Lee awful thought he'd be like I'll go fuck yourself. That's not what I'm talking about
Yeah, there was a line with him. He wasn't he wasn't, he, look, if people set out ragiously awful fe, he'd be like, I'll go fuck yourself. That's not what I'm talking about. There was a line with him.
He wasn't, he wasn't just like a fucking asshole.
And he got fired from serious,
that was one of my favorite shows on serious.
I, you know, of course Jim and Sam,
I love Howard Stern.
I listened to Ron Bennington and I listened to Nick.
And I listened to Nick a lot because at that time,
so I was when I'm driving in the city. and I caught, and plus he's on my network.
I've had him, when he left already in Nick, we, me and Rob, were like, Nick should be doing
a radio show and he came to us and that show led to four days a week to this.
We're real proud of it, you know, to help him facilitate that. Right. And so
read this, what happened? Well, Nick DePaulo confirmed on Tuesday that he was fired from
serious XM over what he called a poorly worded tweet. DePaulo was the host of the Nick DePaulo
show, which aired Monday through Thursday on serious XM faction talk channel from 8 p.m.
to 10 p.m. Fans being to speculate that Nick had been fired when the
Apollo's Monday night show did not air. He was replaced with a replay of Craig
Ferguson's daily talk show. A look through serious XM's websites had proved
inconclusive as they had removed Nick's name from some places but not others.
I was a tweet. Yeah, go to the tweet. Find the tweet. Now here's a deal.
Why do they keep doing this to the this? I believe I know the the basic
Basis of the tweet. Oh kind of what it is here it is right here
Read his response. Hey guys. Yes, it's true. Serious acts have fired me for a poorly-worted tweet
That warranted suspension at best in my opinion. It's a total overreaction on their part
But these are the times we live in don't worry. I will reserve it soon. Thanks for all your support.
Nick is right. Twitter takes more people out than women.
Mental women will be the tweed. I want to see the tweed.
Women would have fucking main factor of taking men out at one point now.
What do you mean by taking them out? Taking them out. I mean, you could get a guy who fucking killed children
and to make money and slave people.
And then some woman would just fucking over.
You mean slaves?
You mean slave?
What are you talking about?
In slave people.
I was gonna say slave, but then I felt you over there
for that kind of thing.
I don't want to get fired from my own network.
Oh wait, was that it?
Go up, I'm sorry.
Were you saying this swamp or something? No, that's not. I can't say all that. No, own network. Oh wait, was that it? Go up. I'm sorry. We says, drain the swamp or something.
No, that's not.
I can't say all that.
No, let's just find it.
It's gone.
It's not on a Twitter thing.
Oh, go and find it and we're going to get back to you.
We're going to, don't stare at the screen while he finds it.
I still, it's got to the point now.
It's got to the point now where it shuts down.
Absolutely.
Fucking ridiculous.
Well, that's it.
Well, you don't even know what he said. So you can't, wait, I don't care what he said. Well, that's it. Well, that's just, you don't even know what he said.
So you can't wait.
I don't care what he said.
Well, why?
Because I, it's free speech.
It's fucking serious XM radio.
They have a show that's not, this isn't a Christian fucking network.
They can't be like, you can't have it.
You can't have someone out there and that's going on a ramp.
That's going, that's going as, you know, you say it's leaning a little right.
Whatever it is,
it doesn't matter.
He should be able to voice his fucking opinion.
Now, if they, if they don't support his opinion,
then, then, then say something, you know,
it's like, we don't support that,
but, but you don't fire a guy or suspend a guy
because he has a fucking opinion.
You know, he's not out there.
I'm sorry, I just, can I say something?
Can I say something? I don't care what I say
I think if you're if you're on a radio show you you have a podcast you should get off Twitter
Yeah, unless you're constantly being silly on Twitter. Mm-hmm. You will be fucking a group of people will take you the fuck out
Yeah, if I ever blow up on the fuck listen to me a
Yeah, if I ever blew up on the fuck listen to me
When a group of people decides that you're done you're done
It's corporate. It's corporate America. You're talking money to businesses If they don't give a fuck about Nick or me or you or Stavie or you
But how do you feel about like serious wiping you off like open anti the fact that they wiped everything they ever did on their website
I think it's insane like you have to go and YouTube to find that stuff now. Like, how do you feel
about like, you should at least, like, all right, we part ways, whatever you're not
going to pay me anymore. I'm done.
Well, why are they going to, I don't think they can do it legally. They'd have to still
pay them if they were using their content. But they still do anyway, and promotional stuff
most of the time. But if you, but Nick had, I'm sure they had to pay Nick out his contract.
I don't know. I would I would
They probably put a clause in about tweets and shit after they're anything. I don't know
Which is crazy. I feel like they can't have both ways. I can't tell the talent hey use your social media where you have thousands of
Puff thousands of followers to promote our show and bubble block because you need more listeners to subscribe
But they don't tweet
Kind of say some to own Benjamin just got kicked off of Twitter for a lifetime ban? He got also kicked off of Patreon.
Well, you got a Patreon?
He got kicked off of Patreon.
I believe he was making like a 10 grand a month.
Yeah.
But how do you get kicked off Patreon?
What do you do?
Because they Patreon followed suit.
They followed suit?
Yeah.
They followed suit?
Yeah, I mean, I think it's for like in the past, I think it's been like if you've made like I don't know if it's been like hate speech or you've been like or
Viol or like
I just wish there's like violence or some shit like there was some group that like was
Stopping refugees from getting to save to your some shit that they kicked off. I mean
Seriously, no, no, some patreon. Yeah, yes, there was a podcast called stop a stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It was it was just like go-bo litter anti-refugee that were like what actively fucking them up
Oh, not having the Syrian refugees come here something like well
They they would go they went out somewhere and I'm probably totally butchering the stories
Probably they have a zoom and they would just like no wasn't even a podcast like video content
Video so they're just like your pain because patreon can of thing. Because Patreon can be anything. Patreon can be absolutely anything you want.
Like just like porn stuff.
Yeah, I mean, you could have, you could have podcasts.
You could have one on one podcasts.
You could have like shows from your show.
A shed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, anything you want.
Robert Kelly.
Yeah.
That's Robert Kelly.
I still just don't understand.
I understand that.
Do a tech show coming out?
No, thanks.
But what I don't understand is the fight back against free speech
because there's people that can do all kinds of weird shit
out there and nobody fucking says the thing.
If it's-
There's no multi-million dollar company that's, you know,
like attached to them.
That's the thing.
It is a free speech thing,
but at the end of the day, your employer,
like we all have to realize that-
But it's a, no, it's a, isn't it a personal business?
I mean, isn't it a private business isn't Twitter like look. This is our thing
You can be part of it, but these are the rules. Well, I mean, you I mean you
Well, here's the thing you look at look at Donald Trump with Donald Trump tweets on there some of his shit is pretty outrageous
The president. I know, but he's the president, but I'm just saying all the badger men. He's really good
No, but he's not the president. No, but I'm just saying what you say?
You'll get kicked off once he's not president.
We'll get kicked off once he's not president.
Because he brings too much to Twitter.
Like he's keeping Twitter alive.
Can I say something though?
He'll be the ex president.
And once you're a president, you're a fucking president.
You don't ever, you don't ever.
That's true.
For now, you still have seat.
Most people don't want to be president.
They want to be ex president.
Yeah, they want that.
You want to know how he'll be.
Bobby should be.
Bobby should be. He justident. They want that. You want to know how we get? You want to know how we get?
It's great.
We just trust the creation.
Why?
Because ex-president, the benefits you get and of being the, you get to go and do speeches
for fucking it and get the $1.
And spend your rest of your life just talking and people throwing money at you because
you are the ex-president.
Now, once you get indicted after your ex-president.
Well, if that happens, who's that happen to?
Two people, one person? Well, Nixon. happens, who's that happen to two people? One person?
Well, Nixon, then he got pardoned.
So then everything's bullshit.
Yeah, it's all what you're next president.
Everything's bullshit.
Let's just put it was played Russian Relent right now.
Um, you can't find it, but I found a thing.
Mike, look what I just text you.
Okay.
Maybe put it.
It would be a bit of a hard working Gabby over here.
Yeah. So the news during the show is a crazy getting a lot of compliments today
I love it
You know she looks like one of the first astronauts
She's like cash in our library. It just had his response. Yeah, but it shows what the tweet was about it doesn't say the exact week
Because they're not just reading you read it
it was about it doesn't say the exact week is a really you read it uh...
he did not indicate which tweet was considered a fireable offense but some
tweets from last friday about Fresno state professor
ronda jurora and her comments about the late barbrough bush were deleted from
to polos feed
so something
in that regard it was something like that was something like maybe one of
you shooters
if you're around that area.
It was, it was, it was,
it was first of all trying to be funny.
Right, right, right.
Second of all, he was, he, yeah, maybe,
maybe stepped over line with the shooter stuff
and all this stuff.
Okay.
But look at what happened to Ari.
When Ari got banned from Twitter for making a joke
at Berk Khrysher.
Yeah, that happens all the time.
You know, it's like,
any threat you's like,
and the threat you get, like, you get
to get in any threat of violence, they'll kick you out.
Except for.
But you can be a fucking neo-Nazi hate group
and they won't kick you out.
Exactly.
That's my point.
Yeah.
My point of your existence is to say,
oh, we don't want these people to be alive.
So your whole philosophy is violence
against a certain person.
But if you make a joke about,
I'm going to kill my best friend
and kick you out.
That's what I find.
And Ari is back on though,
somehow he managed to get back.
Because his people got in touch with them and was like,
oh, Ari's one of the funniest guys in the world right now,
you fucking idiots.
And he was joking.
Because some, but you can't even blame a guy or a girl
because you don't wanna get him, but he offended,
because it's a fun, or it could be a he-she.
Yeah.
I'm out of it.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined.
I don't think that's determined. I don't think that's determined. I don't think that's determined. I don't think that's determined. they don't have a great sense of humor. Anyways, where are they gonna read that and go?
And maybe, and believe it or not,
people don't know Ari and Bert.
And they might be like, whatever.
But that verified symbol should mean something.
You should be also be able to put it into fucking context.
Ari's got how many thousands of followers,
they're both comedians, like,
the verification.
Yeah.
I think Ari's not verified on purpose.
Cause he keeps getting,
no, he keeps undoing it. He keeps undoing it because he says if he's verified then they look at all then they then they start fucking getting a little more critical
Oh really? I don't think guys is if you're unverified it. It's like less less scrutiny. Oh, I think that's that's crazy
Yeah, I don't think but I mean he's back and he's got like 190,000 followers again, so fuck Twitter
I mean not fuck Twitter. I love Twitter.
I love Twitter.
That is a fucking thing.
It's like you either go like Ari and go fuck it
and you get me even more people
or you go like us and go, no Twitter's nice.
I'm sorry.
Please, they're not gonna check.
I'm gonna ban you guys if you fucking don't say anything.
You know what I mean?
I don't think anyone here is really in danger
of getting banned from Twitter. Oh yeah, watch this shit. Yeah. In fact, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think anyone here is really in danger of getting banned from Twitter.
Oh yeah, watch this shit.
Yeah.
That's the fact.
You won't do it.
You die, you fat queer.
You're gonna come in your dead fucking tooth hole.
And now see what happens.
It's great to be on your last show.
Yeah.
Well, they don't think about the other people
get fired, fuck that.
Oh, sorry.
I stepped on it, go ahead. Well, they don't think what the other people get fired. Andy F on it. Go ahead. Well, they don't think what the other people get finally Andy Fiori got fired from that show
He was a producer on that. Yeah, yeah, why do you always look like you're about to cry?
Sad is everything okay Mike? No, but
His emotions
Hatred yeah, self-loathing He's in touch with his emotions. Yeah. Yeah. hatred.
Self-loathing.
It was a rage.
Got him.
So do you think there's any blowback from this and they re-instate Nick or do you think this
is something where it's done?
I don't think so.
If they didn't bring back Opie and Anthony and whoever else the fuck they fired, they're
not bringing back Nick.
Yeah, but that is a total fucking different.
Nick didn't do anything in serious.
True.
Nothing.
He did it at his house on his phone.
It's a personal Twitter account.
It has nothing to do with serious satellite radio.
And he was making a joke.
And yes, he might have stepped over the line to some people.
I mean, who the fuck are we to say what's too far and what's not?
I mean
That's personal because there's certain things that offend my grandmother that wouldn't offend anybody in this room
Right, she's dead. No, I've never
Interracial marriage. No, I've never said something. You're right
Not interracial, but my grandmother. She's a devout Catholic. I mean, you know, Jesus,
Jesus, Jesus, whole life, church every day. Listen to it on the radio once Sunday, work
that the rectory, iron in the priest's shirt and wiping the come out of their underwear.
And the blood off the dicks. Oh, Jesus. Too far. Get out far Get out
Get out
I
Sorry guys
We were naming my
We were naming my son max
Oh, she was like we're gonna call him max. She goes no
I was like what?
Max Donald and Kelly we're gonna give you your your maiden name. We're gonna give him as his middle name She's like you can't call him. That's a Jewish name. I'm in my what? Max Donald and Kelly, we're gonna give, your maiden name, we're gonna give him as his middle name.
She's like, you can't call him, that's a Jewish name.
I don't know what.
I don't understand.
It is, Maxwell, there's a lot of Jewish kids named Max.
I found that out in Max's and T-Ball now,
and I yell, Max and nine kids turn around.
Huh?
That's why we're having a lot of fun.
At least he's the best Max, right? There's no point that Jews are good What? At least you want big bald man.
At least he's the best Max, right?
There's no point that you two are good at T-Bull.
He's the Aryan Max, right?
Now I call him, but I use his Roman Catholic Maximus.
Like a Maximus is only one motherfucker
stoically treasured.
Yeah, daddy.
In his Gladiator armor.
But, uh, but I had to to go, his name was Maximus.
I was gonna go, I had to go get, because there's a saint, you know, there's a saint Jew, you
know what I mean?
So I had to go get Saint Maximus, print it out, give it to my grandmother, and she's
like, well, I'll call him Maximus then.
And Larry, she wouldn't call him Max.
Well, she, of course she did after it.
But at the beginning, you know, I mean,
that's crazy.
You know, my grandfather's still called the neighbor colored.
He was like the colored guy next door,
had no idea, we had to tell him that.
I was a college away girl, said colored, the word colored.
And I was like, it's 2004, like,
when I booked you for the show,
she was like, who do you want to go to that colored guy?
That nerdy colored guy.
Fire from your own show.
You said doubling.
Let me ask you a question.
At what point does someone, and I've never said this before,
but what point does someone like Nick DePolo sue serious
and say you, it's an unfyable.
Like actually, and maybe set a precedence,
where all these motherfuckers stop getting their panties
in a bunch and say we're firing you for a personal tweet
It can't be done, but I shouldn't be able to do that
I mean you do that. That's part of the I mean I know we are all saying our Twitter's a person on shit
But the reality is just by being a comic or being whatever. It's like everything you do is part of like
It's like part of your brand or what would people associate with you and if you work with a company
They you're associated with them.
There's no way around.
But when you go to, okay,
so when you go to Patreon,
and it's, you know, you're saying,
okay, you're making money,
I'm paying you to let me do it the fuck I want.
And then you got a guy like Owen,
who's out what?
Well, Patreon, though, your fans are paying you.
The fans are paying you,
but Patreon's taking a fee, so.
That you're paying them.
Yeah.
That money goes to you, but they're taking a taking a fee so that you're paying them. Yeah, you're that money goes to you
But they're taking a piece of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah
So you're paying them because if your fans weren't behind you and backing you then a backing patreon
I can give a fuck about patreon they care about you
But they're they're allowing you to do that now how the fuck do you fire own Benjamin for privately
Nobody can see it unless you're a fan. I mean, it's kind
of hidden. I don't even know what happened. That's why I don't understand how you got
kicked out. Well, I was gonna say what the serious, I mean, they don't have to have a reason
to fire you. They can just like Bonnie and Rich got fired because they just canceled that
channel. So they don't, they don't have to, you got no, you got no shot with it. They
just cancel your show basically. They don't have to say, oh, it's because of your tweet. They're just like, oh, just don't want your show. So I mean, that's why they don't have to. Also, you got no shot with it. It is canceled your show, basically. They don't have to say, oh, it's because of your tweet.
They're like, oh, does that want your show?
So I mean, that's why they don't do that.
That's letting go.
That's what I mean.
They're not trying to do.
But I think this is an obvious, a much more obvious thing
is after the tweet, he was let go because of the tweet.
And I think that there is a fucking precedence to set there
and say, hey, you can't fire me for fucking free speech.
I have potty mouth.
Okay.
Fuck fuck fuck.
We're laughing.
Sorry, sorry.
This stuff pisses me off.
I really hate this stuff.
Because I just think it's so ridiculous.
The way this thing is now is so ridiculous.
I mean, you're in a comedy club now.
You have to be careful that someone doesn't have a cell phone.
This is taping what you're saying.
This is funny. This is taping what you're saying. This is funny, you ready?
This happened to me this weekend.
This is why I've tried not to,
you have a look out to the crowd and everybody's enjoying themselves,
but there's like one couple that are just staring at you.
And they just, they haven't liked you since you stepped up
or whatever.
And it might even be in your head.
You might, they might be just that.
They just don't have front row face.
Yeah, they just don't like that. You know what I mean, they just don't have front row face. They just don't like that.
You know what I mean?
They just don't.
So I've decided, there's two girls up, the last show, two girls, kind of pretty girls
up front.
And they were laughing, but they weren't really, every time I look at them, they would laugh,
almost like I made them laugh.
After the show, they came up, they were fucking, hey, can we get a photo?
It's like, I didn't even, I don't know.
Did you have a good time?
Like everybody else was hysterically loving,
but there was just one couple over to the right.
Redhead girl and this fucking, you know,
Mike the big little looking dude, right?
Just, you know, fucking quarter-roy's in flannel,
and, you know, and they would,
they kept talking to each other, kept talking.
And I didn't really see him laughing.
And I did the whole backstory in my head
because I'm a psychopath.
And I'm just sitting like, oh, these fucking guys,
they probably came to see me
because they saw me on the,
and probably hate my comment, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So then I fucking, at the end, I walked over,
I go, because she was talking to him again.
I go, hey you guys, you fucking not paying attention
to cock suckers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I said something to the guy.
And he, I said, you have, you, you know,
so I was talking about having a kid.
I go, you have kids?
And he's like, oh, no.
I go, that guy, he's the way he talked,
I thought he was drunk.
And I was like, Jesus, what the fuck?
Bob, Bob, I said something.
Well, no, he wasn't. And I go, and I said like, geez, what the fuck? Boba Boba said something. Well, no, he wasn't.
And I said something else to him and I was going off
and then he goes, he goes, yeah, that's really cool.
Make a fun.
I have a stutter and you're making fun
of somebody with a speech impediment.
And I go, fuck you.
You're talking.
I didn't know you stuttered.
How the fuck do I know?
You're trying to set me up to fucking look
to turn the crowd against me.
So now I'm a piece of shit that I'm making fun of stutters.
And you know what I said?
I immediately went, my little sister's stutters, motherfucker.
So I've dealt with stutter in my whole life.
And I was like, that's a complete lie.
That's what you're like.
That's what you're like.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, why?
I did have it.
I did have it.
And I told the story about my stuttering doula. Yeah
This chick came over. She was smoking she looked like a Cosby kid. That's how just beautiful just Carmel black
Kind of straight curly hair. Oh, she was so hot. She walked in she went. Hello very still
She came and sat down put all her stuff out,
her doll, all the technique, all this stuff,
and me and my wife were sitting there,
and she goes, okay, are you ready? Is tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt ttt tt tt ttt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t Yeah, I was thinking about everyone. Ah! That's Boston, baby.
Yeah.
That's the knee-jerk reaction.
It was so...
She put a curse on you.
She was so gorgeous.
She pulled out like three chicken bones and started waving them at your wife.
But the point of it is, is that, you know, I should have just kept my mouth shut.
You're bringing up being...
I'm gonna say whatever I want.
But I went in over there.
I should have just let them not like me, let them fuck.
And then they were talking again,
and I was like, you guys gonna leave?
You wanna leave?
She was like, yeah, we're gonna, I go, don't sneak leave.
That's, you can just go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go now, you're gonna cause a disruption
if you guys get up while I'm in the middle of a joke,
you're gonna ruin my joke. I go, you can't wait 10 more than five more minutes. Just go. Yeah, just take and they left
But I should have just kept my fucking mouth. I know you mean, but there's nothing wrong
I just I don't think you should keep your mouth should be should say whatever the fuck you want to say say whatever the heck you want to say
But but I just I mean I think it's to the point now where you literally have to make sure
Like I mean, I mean, she's always taping a special the comedy store one second one second. Do you go boom-boom's? No?
But she's always taping a show at the comedy
At the comedy store and he would have he would have someone at the door that they had to you had to put your cell phone in a basket
I love that before you came in the show. Yeah, you couldn't even have a cell phone in a basket. I love that. Before you came in the show, you couldn't even have a cell phone in the room.
Yeah.
He does the same thing.
He does like the bag thing that holds your phone to the ship.
Yeah, I think I've, there's no like guys are doing it.
Yeah, it's Rogan does it.
Does he?
Yeah.
There's no poor white guy.
Yeah.
None of us.
Yeah, I actually have Ziploc bag.
I just, I just put saran wrap so you can't really tell it to me.
No, my joke exception.
Just let it go.
Just let it go.
Zip bomb, Dana is a thank you.
We're out of our thank you, Gabby.
Put that right over your phone.
Come on, come on.
Long time, there you go.
We have a lot of fun.
We haven't used it in a long time.
LA in the house, everybody.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. We have a user in the long time L.A. in the house everybody Ooooooh
L.A. is that
Come on
Hey, thank you see you go right to the physical
Because you can't be fat in L.A.
Unless you're gonna die someday
Well you can't do actouts on a podcast
So he has to go to something
Ooooooh
That's good, come on we're fucking shit on L.A. now you motheruckers are off fucking. Well, can I go ahead and pass it over now?
No, that was just fucking.
We just turned on them.
That was it.
That was really fun.
Yeah.
It's just cut deep.
It just cut deep.
I got it.
All right.
That's just the way this podcast goes.
There's many, many angles that you've taken this.
One is don't be serious.
We think about brain drugs.
Yes, sir.
I think so. Catozus, thoughts. What is don't be serious? What do you think about brain drugs? What is brain drugs?
Contosis, thoughts.
I listen, I think you're right.
I think it's bullshit.
I feel bad.
Nick, if anybody should be on the radio and it's him and anybody should have that,
if serious needs a show like that, they do.
Every other fucking show is out there, you know,
kind of on both.
He was over here.
He was over here talking in a funny way.
And he wasn't way the fuck over there.
He's just funny as shit.
That's all there is to it.
It's like I don't agree with almost anything politically
with Nick the Paula, but like,
he's one of the funniest guys of all time and he should be on the fucking radio. There's no way, you know. And I don't even, I don't agree with almost anything politically with Nick Paul, but like he's one of the funniest guys of all time
He should be on the fucking radio. There's no way, you know, and I don't even really I don't know what it the tweet that he did
But it's like it was basically I I can't I don't know why I could find it, but
Hang on one second. It sounds like it was him it sounds like it was him talking about like threatening that fat lady that said
Fuck Barbara Bush or whatever, right? Like that's what happened. Yeah, yeah, There was like a professor that said I'm glad Barbara Bush is dead or I'm glad
George Bush's but also it's like
Good for her too. I don't give a fuck like I who gives a fuck about Barbara Bush the Bush family's bad people
I don't give a fuck if you joke about them
And it's like fine hit back at them, but yeah
You probably shouldn't get fired but at the same time as comedians, we do have this weird thing where we think we're above reality.
And it's like, yeah, we have freedom of speech, but if people don't fuck with what you say,
you might, and I don't think you should, your job should get, you know, people should
go after your job.
But at the end of the day, you still have consequences for what you say.
Like, if you say something truly fucking horrific and you have like advertisers on board, you
know, Bobby can't say like, let's do a fucking white gen, you know, there's white genocide who lose, you know, his advertisers.
Yeah, but here's, can I say something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can I say something?
And maybe part of Mike, I'm not sure, but Gabby's gone.
Okay, this white snow flags out.
I'm done.
She's going back to Brooklyn back to Brooklyn.
That voice to her. Howard Stern has said what about my voice? No his voice was basically audio blackface is what I was oh yeah
Her voice is a fucking my yeah constantly my voice. Oh my good. Yeah
That's like to be racist, just do it as Kermit. I don't like dykes or faggots.
I didn't know I was going to have a new cue to that.
I should just go, we're here.
What about black on black crime?
That's the only crime there is.
Oh fuck. That's the only crime there is
Great
How much questions look at Peter as you think of Howard star blotchy
She just covered up a very sensitive skin. I get teary you get blotchy that's our thing. That's our dirty afternoons.
You guys both have the qualities of lizards.
I miss my hot rock.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but you were you made it you were going to say like you're in the fucking lead in
rango.
But how was the joke?
Go to that fucking joke.
Fucking question me.
I know you question me.
Cause you're talking about Howard Stern saying whatever
to fucking get that.
Howard Stern has said the worst shit in the world,
but everyone loves him.
He has to juice and he makes so much money for them
that that's what they let it slide.
Any other thing that's what could mean that.
Also the climate was different when he became who he was.
Yeah, but he's true, but he's still not the guy he was.
Yeah, now he's the guy who's on fucking
where's the guy's got town.
He's got town.
He's like, he's off the hook.
But you know what I mean?
But that's who he is.
He's like a mainstream guy now.
Yeah, but can I say something about Howard what he did is he evolved with the times.
He's slowly,
well, not exactly because he said that shit about podcast and which is kind of like,
oh,
that's not what we're talking about though.
And he's changed his thing on podcasting too.
Yeah, because everyone should on them.
Yeah, because he,
but he exactly he evolved into,
we're talking about content.
He used to do crazy shit.
He used to have women ride a fucking vibrating machine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so, and not that long ago,
I mean, I'm not talking 10 years ago.
Not that long ago, it was okay to whip you dick out
and hypnotize a chick.
I don't know about that, Bob.
Interesting.
I'm not, yeah. Wow, that's really, it is three weeks ago. You could just whip your dig out, no one's telling me.
Oh, you know that's the first of all. First of all, catch your go to move.
You want to stop smoking or not?
Swap my dig out? No, I can't just whip it out. Are you crazy?
Mike said that. That's a good one. Yes.
This is why. If Gabby said that she has great personality and charisma, we'd all laugh.
Mike has the charisma of a fucking shoe.
He says the funny shit.
I was telling somebody this, like, oh Mike says really funny stuff, we just don't hear
it.
So it's on a lower fucking tone.
Right, right.
That our ears are.
Oh my god.
He just kind of mic'd at home.
There's just like a golden retriever just losing it outside I'm used to that being Scopo's chair. I think that's what it is. People are used to Scopo and people,
and they don't assume that I'm not gonna be funny.
It's a great ass for a big belly, I like it.
Grubby chair.
Yeah, I think it's, but I was talking to Colin about it,
and he was, when tough crowd was on, he predicted this shit.
That's why tough crowd got taken off.
Tough crowd, you had the daily show,
you had the Chappelle show.
Chappelle show was doing the most race shit ever.
I mean crazy stuff.
And then you had Colin getting fucked with every night
for trying to do the same shit, but it was him doing it.
And they took that fucking show off the air,
one of the great, I mean, come on.
It was a great show, yeah.
I mean, everybody, there's nobody's like,
oh, we don't want that show back.
And he predicted it back then that this political correctness
is gonna fuck us and it was coming.
And it's here now.
Candida's fucked, UK, UK, you fucked.
UK, the guy went to jail for teaching his dog,
how does, was it do yeah? Oh, yeah, the Hitler salute. He made a video, yeah. You K you fucked. You K the guy went to jail for teaching his dog.
How does was it?
Oh yeah, the Hitler salute.
He made a video.
Yeah, see Kyle.
Yeah, yeah.
It's great.
It's really good.
It's really funny.
I said it's only good if his girlfriend was Jewish.
Yeah.
If you say, you know, I mean, that's completing the bit.
Yeah.
It's scary man.
It's like having a, I'm forgetting.
I make one wrong mistake, but people will get get mad you you like no matter what it is if you had a black girlfriend
You taught your dog on a barker
But he's trying to be funny. Yeah, I'm trying to be oh
I mean it looks like he was show his dog
Yeah, hang on one second. Back up. He's like
he should be. He should be. He's like a punk. He doesn't really look like a punk.
Well, he's got two fucking stars. Those are the stars. You get those people.
I was rushing stars. Yeah. You ever see some promises? That doesn't look like an
Eastern Prime. Why is he a such a person? Not saying that's a strong thing. I mean, just
saying like a, well, he's like a bull. Yeah, I mean, he's got this like little. You can't,
you can't even joke about the N word. You't joke about the the fag word you can't joke about
I mean you can't know that info because it's a difference between which I do not say info
I put the it at the end of it
I cut the it off okay
Fag is
You can't know about that I cut the it off. Okay. That's it. Fag is fag. That's a fag.
You can't do that.
You can't do the it.
We'll find out tomorrow.
I'm talking to you.
Yeah.
That's right.
Not sure if Queen has a bonnet's works.
Between a couple of queens.
It's fine.
Yeah.
Between two queens.
Between two bisexuals.
You can say fag.
And the view of Mateo, that be out of line.
Absolutely.
Two fat queens on HBO next.
Yeah. That's it. One's missing the two. Absolutely. Two fat queens on HBO next. Yeah.
That's do it.
One's missing the two.
One knocked that two that with his collar.
Two fat queens.
Oh, that's so funny.
I mean, you can't say shit anymore.
I mean, it's a weird time because even like as a black comment, on my show, right, we
did a black Panther review and we both loved it, like Macohos and I loved it.
And we're just like riffin' on it.
Big, so fun.
I can't pronounce the African names for shit.
Like I was very upfront about that.
And we got so much shit from black listeners
that never listened to our show,
but listen to that episode.
You guys butchered it, you fucking should be ashamed of yourself.
I hate your show, one star, one star, one star.
I'm like, these fucking motherfuckers.
Say it for us
I
Yeah, but those three right there
Just bark it like the dog
Do like Scooby Scooby
There's no
I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that.
I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. It's like you it's just a Marius I literally just almost turned around
Chief sneakers
They put blood guys try to rob stovie and so that get to they be all fuck no Yeah, I'm not going down that round. That is one of the
They would actually hand the perks they would hand them one of their gold
There you go brother. Yo son take it shit. You need it more than me
Just came early more the fuck
I but but we I know people like you we say you should be able to say the end word, okay?
But we don't use it anymore.
We don't wanna say it anymore, right?
I mean, I don't wanna, I mean, okay,
you should be able to say whatever you want,
but with certain things, there's consequences
when you're a part of something,
if you're doing your own thing
and it's absolutely 100% yours,
say whatever the fuck you want. Right. Right. And whoever
comes to that comes to that. I believe you should be able to do that. But I think that when a company
does say, okay, we have this platform for you to use, but we have to set up some rules because we
don't want to deal with really fucked up people. We don't want to deal with the racist, the pedophiles, the sexual
deviance. We don't want to deal with it.
But question. What if Nick DePaul, what if Nick had said the shit that he tweeted about
on his show? What do you've got to find? I don't think so. That's the crazy thing. I think
if Anthony said what he said, I think of Anthony said what he tweeted on ONA the next
day, he would have gone for it.
ONA would still be alive.
Well, but that's the only thing.
But here's the thing.
All right, so ONA would have definitely ended anyway.
Jim and Anthony would still have a show.
He would be allowed in the building.
I'll be in another room with his own fucking show.
But have you ever recovered to what OPA did to you?
Um, anything?
All right. So I'll be transfer that. Yeah, maybe maybe I was just I was calling Mike Roland. Oh, yeah
Wow
That is absolutely you look
I've never seen Roland. Oh my god. I'm mirror. I don't know what he looks like
Looks like you you fucking wide-eyed lizard
Mike you look he literally see people coming up behind him.
I was gonna double gangers after this.
Can you look up Jesse Jones comedy and then look at court?
Because he has, you have a double gager.
It's fucking freaking me out.
No, you look, that looks like Mike, right there.
No, that one right there.
Click on that.
No, that one over there.
The one you had, when I say click,
right there, when you had the thing on it, and I say click.
Now make that face turns side. Turn, look at the camera. Look the other way.
Look the other way. Now go the wider, open eyes. Now go, how are you like you
disgusted? Yeah, that's you.
Now what's the other guy you want it to look at? Jesse Jones comedy.
Jesse Jones. He used to be a comedian, run about your shows in New York.
What happened? Jesse Jones comedy Jesse Jones he used to be a comedian run about your shows in New York In many women pull up guys
Jones comedy there we go. Just look a big titties
Wow a little bit a little bit right to the left that guy with the glasses right your left from my left. Yeah, the guy with the glasses
Yeah, I would say my left
I got it with the glasses. Yeah.
I would say my left.
The glasses are the same.
Oh, Michael.
Oh my god, Mike.
To the left.
Right there.
Right there.
Yeah, right there.
The left of the screen.
The left of the screen.
What is going on?
No, your left is destroyed.
Just click the fucking button.
Right there.
Okay, a little bit.
Yeah.
A little bit.
No, all right.
Like if you were doing a character.
All you people would say to me anyway.
What?
Why is it?
What is that?
I can't wait for the flip around.
I can't wait till we get to the end of the road
and it turns around.
And all the people making fun of white guys on TV now,
it flips around with one white ghost.
You heard my feelings and it affected me.
And he sews a whole network for a fucking black gay show
that is just trashing white guys and some white guys like you know you affected my children
and my kids get me in front of its school and they get bullied because of this because
you think white males are stupid and dumb and we we haven't been in control for 30 years
we've been fast we've still got a good run. We got nothing done.
We're going to have a fucking team knock down.
In comedy, maybe, but through us the world,
I still undefeated.
We have to hire you.
You have handschakes again.
Yeah.
We're almost down the open.
What's up, motherfuckers?
Those torches.
What?
Open we heard that one
That wasn't a joke bitch
So that wasn't a joke
I didn't
Too late
I love you play okay, are you guys breaking up?
Your face I love you. I'm playing. Oh, okay. Are you guys breaking up? Why is it happening?
You're face to forget.
I can't do it.
I had a good one, but I'm not going to do it.
I feel like we're picking on my camera.
You do my, it's all right.
Yeah, we'll, man.
And then we picked on Roland too.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
Well, there you go.
It's not, it's a motherfucker.
You know, it's, uh, we're all going to be dead.
Another show has gone.
No, we're not going to be dead.
It's another show has gone. I don't know when, you know, there's, it's got to be dead. Another show is gone. No, we're not gonna be dead. Another show is gone.
I don't know when, you know,
there's got to be a point where some company says,
you know what, fuck off.
He was joking.
Well, the public had gone Patreon.
You know what I mean?
That is the nice thing about it.
You don't have to have advertised.
You don't have to have anyone that could fire you.
Yeah, but I think with serious satellite, that's great,
is yeah, you guys get that money,
but I think with serious satellite, you's great, is yeah, you guys get that money, but I think what's serious satellite,
you are exposed to everybody.
More reach, and for a show like him,
well, you guys just being silly, being goofy,
having fun, right?
You're not trying to change the fucking world.
He's actually trying to get his opinion across
and learn things and teach people stuff
and absorb stuff and have people come together
and maybe argue and hate each other or fight,
but at some point find some type of level playing field
where we're all just, you know, people trying to live.
That's what you think the Apollo show was doing?
You said that, you said that, you just made all of that up.
I thought it sounded great.
It sounded great.
It was great, but yeah, there's no way that's what it's about.
Wow, really, that sounds like a great show.
So, let's move's what it's about. Wow, really, that sounds like a great show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I can't just do that.
Change in the world, one guy at a time.
Dean, so is Michael Jackson's heel of the world and shit you lay on.
Okay, just like this.
Yeah, the book.
What is it?
Man in the mirror?
That's all right.
No, I know, different one.
He's one of the sing-that, didn't you?
Yeah, I did, I love that.
I'm just gonna crack this thing up.
You fucking LA queen.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, I'll take that.
How far are you smoking weed before? No, Nicky-a-team. He doesn been practicing that fucking LA queen. Hey. Hey. All right.
How about that?
Are you smoking weed before?
No, Nicka team.
He doesn't smoke weed.
All right.
He's the man.
Damn, but I'm gonna tear him right now.
No, she really just, I just wanted to know.
Do you have narcotics on your person?
Yeah, no.
He's in your pocket.
It's a little thing called the jewel.
It's like a little teen just to know that.
You from this.
Okay.
What a coincidence.
I quit smoking cigarettes. I quit smoking cigarettes in July. What is that? It's a nicotine. Can I see it? Yeah, so you as
Peter having a smoke what do you do it in you just smoke it
What do you do? That's it? Yeah, it blows up a little
It's a bomb. Yeah, get that away from me. Yeah, but you're back on cigarettes. Wait a
go. What the fuck? Get that away from me. Yeah, but I'm gonna get your back on cigarettes. Wait a minute. That's for it.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
How long's it been since you smoked now?
Five seconds.
Fuck.
He told you what it was.
Michael, you'll give me a pack of fucking America.
Jesus.
I want to pack America 100s.
Yeah.
I have some tic tacs at me to whiskey.
You want to try a merit 100. Yeah. I have some tic tacs that make it a whiskey.
Wanna try one of those too?
Yeah.
Hi.
This is not the funnier than me when a comic tries to joke
and two comics don't get it.
Let's do comic go.
What?
And the one comic goes, yeah.
I stand behind it.
Where are you?
You got it.
Zach, how you? You got it.
Zach, how you doing?
Pretty good.
Thanks.
Yeah, it's...
I love when Zach doesn't use the mic and he's the tech guy.
We had him shut his mic off, because he...
Well, the AC is over there and he doesn't really talk about it.
He says one thing at the end of the show, Zach, the new guy.
And then that's it.
So we shut his mic off.
You could have turned your mic back on, but it probably was too late. Um, yeah, it is fucking it is a it's a fucked up thing. But you know, like you do you a podcast. You guys say I read your shit.
Um, I mean, is your point where you're gonna have to like like you say Billy Burr, uh, Joe Rogan, they don't have to fucking worry about anything. Yeah, they're not going to pull the plug on themselves. Right, right, right.
Yeah, they're not going to pull the plug on themselves right right right you know unless Libson says the server But you could get your own server right? Well, that's one of the things Burr said a long time ago is he had an
advertiser that he made fun of when he was advertising it and he goes fuck him if they don't like it then don't pay me
You know, but you gave me the money. I'm gonna read this you wanted a live read. I think it's fucking ridiculous
I'm gonna laugh at it. If you you don't, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
And if you don't like it, then don't pay me.
Now they, he just shit on his hilarious.
Yeah, and now they pay him like twice as much
to do it all with that.
Well, when Viral, that's the funny thing.
Him shitting on it, got their company.
I had no idea what the fuck Sherry's bear is
until I saw it on Twitter.
It's just like some company that you,
or you're like, you buy fruit,
strawberries with chug cover strawberries
and shit like that, you know, that kind of shit.
Bunch of fruit, like me chocolate with strawberries and shit like that, you know, that kind of shit. But to fruit truck, me and Stavros,
Charlotte, Pascal, Drizzled in Caramel.
Shari's berries.
You know, but here's the thing, like I get reads,
like was it rich in Bonnie God reads when we first got them?
And they trash the fucking company.
Not only did they take the reads away from them,
they took them away from the network.
Now it's like shows that need the money or want the money.
You can't get it because one fucking show,
and they would look, they were trying to be funny,
but you can't, there is, who, you have to say,
in your brain, I don't want this money, fuck them.
I don't care if you want to do it, do it like Billy,
I don't give a fuck, bail.
But some people don't have that option.
It's easy for people to stand up on a fucking mountain of fucking money or a fame
and go, just fucking be you.
Right. Right.
I mean, you know what I'm saying?
You prefer.
When certain people can't, because certain people need that money.
So, okay, you want another ad money, rich and money, you can't trash them.
Because they'll fucking do shoot. Because you're not giving them a viral video. You're not
giving them a million people. You're giving them thousands,
maybe, maybe hundreds, maybe, maybe not even hundreds, maybe,
maybe 98 people, 20 people. But that's true, but that's true in
every profession. It's not just comedy. That's true in the
same way. You've got a guy, you, there's not an acting.
Not in the fucking, I mean, show business.
They, I mean, they'll take you out.
I mean, look, a company will stop working with you or they won't.
A company will say for money will stick with you, like a Billy thing.
And, and, and it's definitely on a level thing.
A guy like me, they'll tell me to go fuck myself.
A guy like Billy, are you right? Because you make myself. A guy like, Bill, are you right?
Because you made us a ton of cash.
It's all money.
It's all, that's what I'm saying.
I'm just saying I'm saying this.
Look what they did with Louis.
Oh, there's fucking.
Louis made everybody money.
Every single point, he can walk up to you and go, money.
He got caught, he got steamrolled into the worst possible time
that that ever could have happened. He got caught, he got steamrolled into the worst possible time
that that ever could have happened.
It could have happened today, nothing like
what happened would have happened.
Thank God.
I gotta take some.
And I'm a Gabby.
It's true, but don't you think that at that particular time,
when that particular thing happened,
it was the absolute worst time.
Yeah, because it's right.
The heat of like that.
Right.
Everybody was getting a ziz almost like a week or two later, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
James Franco had accusations.
That's sucked.
And he's about to get an Oscar nomination.
And he got, but he didn't suffer what Louis sucked for.
We're talking about this in the language of them suffering is kind of wild
You know, I mean especially if it's like here we go these are real
Accusations no one live
Yes, I know I'm serious though, especially the the I agree with you the the Franco thing Franco was like teaching classes and like
I think it was like I fucking a student. Yeah, you go do that with your jeans fricking you do comedy of college schools
Huh? do that with your jeans, freckles, you do comedy of college schools. Nothing to comedy and fucking students.
I don't have students, I don't have students.
They're proud.
This is coming out of your toes.
I'm having consensual sex with my kids.
This is coming from a guy comedy.
Boxed by a cannon outside.
I said, and this guy is saying that you can't
fuck a girl because she's in your class
and you're out by a cannon.
He posted, I mean, you should be careful about that.
There's a definite power dynamic there.
That's a very power dynamic.
Yeah.
No, it's not the same part of your own.
I don't know if that these people's lives, anyway.
You fucking manipulate them.
Yeah, you're fucking dumb.
You're fucking dumb.
Fuck, he was whole act this fucking.
It is not the same thing.
He got that tooth removed.
He puts him in.
It's better.
It's a clit holder.
How do you say that? That's he buzzing battery. It's a clip holder
Told you goes inside the mouth. So so you're saying that the girls that were in his class did not have consensual sex with him I all I'm saying is if you're okay if you're James Frank over right if they're having concern
I don't give a fuck who it is if they're if it's consensual sex. Yeah, it's consensual sex
It doesn't matter. It's by cannon. I doesn't matter if it's by a cannon or a hotel room
I love that a Gabby just agree with him because
he's more like.
Before he started talking, I was like, I agree.
I agree with him.
Everything you're gonna say?
Yes.
But I want to hit the guy I agree with.
I like it.
Lastly, and I agree with you.
He's like, yeah, yeah.
The old actor that looks like I'm walking dead,
I don't agree with him.
Yeah.
I don't even, I don't know him.
I've never seen him.
I don't agree with that guy.
I mean, all I'm saying is,
I agree with the guy. Put this in the language of like them being victims is wild. You know him I've never seen I don't agree with it. I mean all I'm saying is I agree with the language
It's like them being victims is wild, you know what I mean like to people that have the like it's not I don't think
James Franco is a victim of some fake story like this is some shit that happens
So let's say like let's say like you would come down you guys are like another level
You you fought one of your Patreon people right? That's not the same thing. She's like, oh, the Stavl, Stavl,
because I'm a different motherfucker.
Yeah, but he was, he was fucking like 16 year olds.
I'm just, I'm just, why is it not?
Why is it not, why is consensual sex different
for different people?
It's consensual sex.
Why is consensual sex different
when somebody changes their mind later?
That's, yeah, that's exactly, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
It's consensual, but all of a sudden now, I didn't want to do it.
Now there's a me too movement,
and I have second thoughts about maybe that wasn't the best thing to do.
It's just like, I'm not saying there's no difference between regrettable sex
and sex that you were pressured into,
but you shouldn't pressure people in the fucking sex.
That's the only difference.
Pressure them. If you're a professor and a chick's like pressure people in the fucking act. Can I say something? I'm just pressured.
But if you're a professor and a chick's like,
you're a steaming professor.
Why are you fucking your,
why are you fucking your students
of your fucking professor?
You know that you're a professor of your students.
Stop, Roscoz.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Why?
All you wanted was help on his history paper
and you brought him into the broom closet
and you made him do stuff for a name.
Why would you do that?
You know?
That's what I want to know.
And you still got to be. And you still got to be.
And you still got to be.
And you didn't give me a fuck today.
The stuff I did to your balls.
Because you cried after.
That's right.
Because you cried.
I mean,
I'm not going to be your face.
Look at that.
You know, this face could really use.
But my point is,
there's some professor in NYU that's fucked some of his students
whatever, and they're not saying anything
because it's not James Franco
And it's like so this chick's coming out going all sudden. Oh James Franco did this to me
Fuck you and the movement and the movement grabbed the hold of it like they grabbed the hold of Louis to what because that type of
Power and that's there's real guys who probably
We should go out and fucking find or expose but that gives you nothing
because there are no buddies.
They don't have it.
But these guys brought it all the way the fuck up and you have to lift it up as high as
you can and the tide comes up and takes as many motherfuckers as you can so that everybody's
scared shitless.
And the problem is, I'm going to take this.
I'm going to take this.
I'm going to take this.
Being scared though, it's like, what are we scared of?
Have you ever been a shitter girl? Have you ever been a shitter girl? Have you ever been a shitter girl? You're going to be fucking what are we? Have you ever have a good? You're gonna be fucking weird and creepy.
Have you ever?
You got to help everybody though.
I'm a fucking pussy.
I can ask you a question.
The idea that you would fuck someone that's not totally
into it is foreign to me.
Can you ask me a question?
Can I answer me a question?
Sure.
So I meet you after the show.
Hi.
And how do you pick up a girl?
What is your move?
I'll just talk.
I don't have a fucking move.
I talk to them and free.
But how do you get your dick in them? How does that transition? I'm not being an asshole. I don't have a fucking move. I talked them. And how do you get your dick in them?
How does that transition? I'm not being an asshole.
I'm not being facetious. I'm not trying to set you up right. I'm trying to figure out how you can you have to be aware of a person's
fucking of the vibe in the. But that's what I go.
Other people are doing.
Yeah, but that's what Aziz did.
I'm not saying.
The Aziz thing is everything.
What I'm saying is like, that's just Aziz these were just like, bad at fucking is that story?
That's what that story is.
Yeah, the fingers are through.
That's just really tetted.
But also it's like, what are we scared of?
What are we scared of that you have to be,
you have to make sure a woman is totally enthusiastic
when she fucks you.
Why is that a bad thing?
Well, well, no, but what bothers you?
It's not about, I don't want to,
I don't want to, hey, I want a sucky dick.
I hate that.
You're fucking leaves.
What a fucking clown suck in my dick.
My only thing is, you gotta go up to every fucking bite.
Cause like, I feel like Hollywood and everyone chooses
who they wanna go after, like, James Franco, Harvey Weinstein.
But like, Ryan Seacrest has people, like,
several people in the record,
has seen like, he harassed him,
but because he makes so much money for E and ABC
and everyone, no one wants to fucking touch him.
But here's the other thing too, like I'll even take this one,
even Harvey Weinz used the biggest fucking pig
in the world.
This guy's been Harvey Weinz, this guy's been funny.
Yeah, this guy's been funny.
I don't know, I'm trying to stop,
but I'm just breaking circles.
But this guy's a pig, but what I'm saying is,
this is brutal.
This guy is brutal.
Good, please, don't tweet this,
whatever you do, do not do what you're about to say.
But they're not.
They can tweet the N-word.
Nobody's going to do that.
Anybody in this room can tweet whatever we want.
I got 14 hundred followers and I bought all of them.
But I'm just saying that there's girls that went on the record with Harvey Weinstein.
Why didn't you buy a chain?
That we're showing up to because I lost a hundred
He's possibly doesn't even these even these people in Indonesia don't like me
terrible jokes. Just on that
He's not funny
Don't like don't like be ittered
But no there's girls that got on the bandwagon harby winestein that were showing up to his hotel room at 2.30 in the morning for readings, but I'm just saying they're not the predators. They're okay. Fine. They're
He is a predator, but there's women that are showing up at 2 o'clock in the morning. Just go back
to go for a reading. Okay, okay. Okay. Those women have no fucking power over Harvey Weinstein's entire fucking career. Fine.
They're opportunistic. Maybe they want to fuck to get famous.
That's fine, maybe they're lower level bad people than other people.
However, they, if Harvey Weinstein doesn't fuck them, his whole life is in fucking ruined.
They have no pressure over Harvey Weinstein.
Fine, they wanted to fuck that disgusting pig.
Fine, good for them, they fucked them, maybe they got into a fucking B movie.
But what about hundreds of women who had no desire to be fucked by that creepy motherfucker?
Don't wanna see them beat off a whole three hundred percent.
I'm not disagreeing with you.
You said it to me in this podcast,
women don't fuck you because of your looks.
Yeah, then what, stop.
Why do they fuck you?
Because of your what?
Personality because of our weenie.
Yeah.
Because you're on stage.
Let me just say something.
Yeah, it is.
It's because of who I am.
Stop.
It's stop.
You're out of your mind.
You're out of your mind.
Being on stage and what you do on stage is the first thing that draws them to you.
When you come off stage, you're same mother fuck.
You're funny.
You're quirky.
You're cute.
And all of a sudden in the same within hours, your dick is in them. Yes.
So what are you saying?
So okay, you're saying that,
but you're saying that this guy,
they wanna fuck this guy because of who he is,
because he has power over them.
To me, wait, wait, what you have is power.
Okay, because you don't have,
because physically you're a nightmare.
Yeah, yeah, sure, absolutely.
It's a real horror show what's going on here.
I agree with you.
No, but I'm saying, you're, that's your work.
No one's fucking me because of my looks.
Yeah, fucking you because of your power.
Because I'm not because of my power,
because I'm a person.
I remember you're a power over them.
You're a person now.
Because he's not gonna get them a movie role.
Yeah, I'm not gonna use your fucking life.
He's gonna get them a fucking dinner role.
There we go.
Yeah, I'm gonna get some role.
If they're quick enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not disagreeing with you that there are a bunch of people that were fucking abused.
And I would never get sucked off as a kid.
No, but I've been offered to.
Nice.
It's been nice.
But I'm just saying that for every 10 that he abused, for every 10 that he abused and
abused that, there's two of them there that were
fucking horrors that went up there and knew exactly what they're getting.
And I'm just saying that I'm just saying to that and I'm just saying that now that
crazy is that line is now the line's getting wider and wider and wider.
And now we're taking guys like Nick Topalo off the air because he's tweeting something
that we don't fucking are related.
Those two are related.
I think it's related. It's all related.
It's all moving.
It's all that movement.
And it is related.
I'll tell you what it's related about it is that you can just take people's lives away
because of something they said.
Their opinion.
Because of maybe one thing that happened, maybe, okay, see, let's take Harvey and say,
okay, here's a piece of shit.
He's a hunk of shit.
But now, because of, you can just start taking everybody's anything that's associated to sex without any information or
Court or nothing
Just a public opinion has said fuck it. Goodbye
All of it's gone now corporations have to go with the public
And they have to take it too to so now people are just like
What the fuck did I do right or wrong? You don't know?
You don't know what Aziz did you know you weren't there
We're not supposed to say I said the whole thing is I think the whole thing is just ballooned and it's gone from
It's gone from the sexual harassment that was that was very rightly outed this stuff a lot of stuff very very, I don't disagree with the fucking Harvey Weinstein being fucking
locked away.
I think the guy's a complete fucking dick.
You know, but I'm just saying, but now it's to the point where it's gone so far as guys
like Nick DePolo.
You don't think this is a result of that shit.
It's 100% a result of that.
I don't think DeP of that shit it's a hundred percent result of that i don't think the polish had been fired i think but i'm saying but that's a
result of all this shit that just kept as kept moving and moving and moving
and it's going to be a little bit here right now
you want to do what the people just outrageously in the wrong
i don't know i just i i just
in general sp spit it out.
I mean, I just say that it's gone.
I don't know.
I mean, I agree that people are being too,
that you know, to polish probably have his job.
I don't know what he tweeted exactly,
but it's a joke, he's a fucking comedian.
Yep.
And I do, I totally agree with that,
but I also understand that like, yeah,
whereas sometimes we're just fucking,
and people shouldn't go after people's jobs.
I think that's a weird move. But it's it's it's that that stupid if one group just
deems it bad or wrong, then it can be a hundred people.
I mean, I don't know.
I mean, less than a hundred people were offended by Nick's tweet.
Let's see, but if it's less, if it's less than a thousand people, you're out of your
mind for taking his job away. But see, they go so far as like's less than a thousand people you're out of your mind for taking his job away
But see they go so far as like why if this is such an offensive
All thing and whatever why not go to Nick DePaul have Nick DePaulos
Arace the tweet come out and do something hey raced it. Yeah suspend him
You know, yeah, it's not just pay something like that
But now to go and say fuck you were taking your fucking job. We're taking your livelihood
Yeah, we're taking it fucking job, we're taking your livelihood. We're taking it as an absolute hit.
Yeah, we're giving it as far as we can possibly take it.
Let me tell you some Facebook,
fuck you.
On all these people need to stop fucking being bullied,
pushed around by a few fucking small groups
who want to fucking tell people what they say or do
and what's funny or not.
They need to go, you know what, yeah,
there could be a consequence or some reviewed
and have some type of dialogue
of where he was coming from and what he meant
and let him think about it.
Maybe he goes, you know what,
that was a little out of line.
I was trying to be funny and I fucked up,
which we do is comics, okay?
Fuck you.
And because he's over on the right,
the immediately just take it out.
And they should hit pause for a second. Like we should taken out. They should hit pause for a second,
like we should, on Twitter.
You should hit pause for a second
before you put your fucking joke up to the world
and expose yourself to be shot at.
Cause that's what they're waiting for.
Twitter, I can't wait.
Don't tweet when you're drunk, you know.
Fuck Twitter.
I don't know why the fuck people tweet.
You know, if you don't understand Twitter
from Colin Quinn's Twitter account,
how fucking ridiculous it is,
the best Twitter account.
If you're using Twitter as a medium
to get your fuck, you're an idiot.
You're a fucking idiot.
I mean, Nick, he has a radio show to do that.
Over here, and his people were listening,
and maybe he should have got suspended,
or are talking to or whatever he relaxed,
but you can't fucking just take it away from it. It's ridiculous. You know,
taking away Louise fucking like really. Do white to mop everything too, right?
FX white tomorrow. Every, but everybody everybody wiped him off.
HBO too. Everybody wiped him off. Netflix wiped him off. Everybody wiped him off.
And for something that happened 15 years ago, there was, can I masturbate in front of you? Yes. Oh no. Okay. It is weird
because Louis is exactly what you're supposed to do in theory, which is affirmative consent.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And they fucking took him out because they wanted to. And any, I'm
not gonna say it again, but I say the fuck. People get off on this shit. Remember like what
Aziz was at the Golden Globes. I remember everyone looked mad like solemn around the master to any any, I'm not gonna say it again, but I say to fuck you. People get off on this shit.
Remember like what Aziz was at the Golden Globes?
I remember everyone looked mad like solemn around the
master of non-cast and stuff, right?
You're like, that's weird.
And then there's whispers like, next ones is Aziz,
next ones is Aziz, the article's coming out.
And then a winner.
We knew the thing with Franko was coming out.
People get off on that shit.
We heard the whole thing with Franko was coming out.
That Franko thing has been in the news though for years.
But it came out right before the Oscar vote.
It was Apple before that though.
But who brings it out?
And the Louis thing's been out for you.
15 years ago, a lot of the ship.
15 years ago, he was in a healthy relationship right now.
Two beautiful daughters put him, so many women in power,
women in power in this business that before they put him
in power, he did.
He forced companies to give, take a show.
He forced people to fucking put women in power
of his company where they probably would enough.
And now these are the same people that go,
we need women in minor.
Fuck, this guy did it.
And then you took him out for something
that happened 15 years ago because a group
And not really that not really that that what happened it actually been talked about in podcast actually before this whole thing Actually broke so someone made a point of rolling it into all this other shit someone was after him
That's just not someone not someone
People yes a whole group of people. That's group of fucking people needed that,
needed that to be attached to their thing,
to lift it up and have us more gravity to it.
They needed more gravity.
And you know what, a real sexual assault guy
who isn't famous, wasn't enough.
The real guys, that's what promise is like okay
You took out this guy, but now go take a fucking real you're taking away from people who really got fucking assaulted
Who really need this movement to fucking help them in their shit job at Walmart or or subway or wherever the fuck they're being?
Yeah, abused and now you know the worst places to be abused
Well, that is true though. I do think, I mean, people that work at the lower,
there isn't that much representation
for people that are lower class who are dealing with
sexual violence that like, on a daily basis.
I want you to be on fire.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
But at the same time though, it's not like,
it's not an either or thing either.
Like you could do both.
If there's fucking predators in show business
and there's predators in fucking,
I love it.
It's hardware that's like,
the same predators, there've been predators in show business for,'s predators in fucking I love it. It's hardware that's like the same.
There have been predators and show business for,
I've been doing, I've been working since 84.
Yeah, let's get into this getting sucked off stuff.
Yeah, tell me, there used to be a ton of like
these gay, casting director.
What is going on?
What is going on?
What is going on?
What is going on?
I wish I could tell you.
Yeah, I can't remember.
I don't know.
I never got that job.
I never got the callback for that one.
It wasn't in standby.
I tried.
I just did a little bit now and it's callback.
But no, the whole thing was is like, I remember going back in like 86 when you auditioned, there
was like a soap operas and they were all run by these gay casting directors.
And they would tell you pretty much like, hey, listen, you fucking mess around this dude,
you can get a fucking, you can get on a,
you can get on general hospital, get on this show.
It's like, are you fucking serious?
And they're like, oh yeah.
And I knew guys that fucking probably did that.
Yeah, you know, but it was like,
you just do mouthful, fucking saying.
Yeah, probably.
I knew some guys that made me,
well, I knew some guys that I used to be a class of these guys.
I was in a class with these guys.
And one of these guys, I was like,
fuck, this guy got on that show off a quick
and we're like, oh yeah, he needs really good friends
with the casting director.
Oh yeah, now I will listen to me casting people
in New York City.
I will suck you on this.
I'll put the whole and the nut in my mouth.
You get me on a fucking cop show? You're 12 seasons.
I want to syndicate, all right?
Sorry.
I want to do comedy and fucking like in January.
Are you just on a show?
I was, I need it on the one hand.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd probably suck dick to be on TV.
I guess.
I think so.
You'd suck dick to be on fucking a podcast.
Get over here. I'd like to get over here. Yeah. Yeah. Mike was very pushy. Oh, so you'd suck dick to be on fucking a podcast
Mike was very pushy
I think
What's the most famous paretidys you've ever seen? IRL
Famous IRL yeah in real life. Yeah famous titties. Yeah, you've been an actor in one second I love his fucking women strong don't attack. Hey, what's the famous titties?
He said guys. I'm a I'm a multitude and And that's just, that was just about getting in trouble.
But that's what you're doing.
I'm an advocate for women's rights, and you're like,
ooh, titty meat.
What?
You can like fucking, and not, and like, want to fuck women
and not want them to get raped.
Yeah, but you're asking him to expose a personal,
a famous girl's titty that he saw in private,
that she wanted private.
Okay.
And you're saying bring it out on a pot,
and describe my tits to some mushy Greek kid
from Baltimore.
Okay, that is district-backed.
I'll tell you a couple.
There we go, yeah.
Yeah.
Having said, I would never do that.
I would never do that.
I don't believe this, tell me.
Yeah.
So toxic to stuff.
Talk to my name, name you pulled the podcast.
So I'm not gonna say anything.
We'll do it off. We'll do it off, yeah the podcast so I'm not gonna say anything
Yeah, yeah, that's because you want to
I want to thank right now Joey Mueller for being
$25 I mean hell yeah big Joe. Oh my God. There's so many 25 dollar people, fans on my podcast, I, my channel,
on my Patreon, Robert Kelly,
slash Robert Kelly.
You guys are amazing.
And I want to thank Joey Immula right now
for being one of those guys.
Thanks for supporting me and supporting my channel.
One more step to that recorded bang bang.
Yeah, it's seven, dude, do you wanna do the bang bang with me?
Right now?
No, it's seven hundred and fifty Patreon members.
I'm doing a bang bang.
Oh yeah.
And I wanna do it with the person, but with somebody else.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Yeah, you do it.
All right, cool.
You've asked like five people at this point.
I think I'm gonna do it with a bunch of fucking people.
It's not, cool. Why do you want just me doing a this point. I think I'm gonna do it with a bunch of fucking people. It's not cool.
Why do you want just me doing a bang bang?
No, I'm really gonna make sure you remember.
Get all the gold.
Who else is in the mix?
Tim probably.
Tim?
Tim's in it.
I think Dan's in it.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, hell yeah.
You can be in it.
I love how you're just inviting me.
I'm gonna be in the corner.
You can't be in the corner.
I'm fucking vegan.
Oh really?
I don't even know what a bang bang is.
I'm busy that week.
Yeah.
Flying you in from LA. know what a bang bang I'm busy that week. Yeah
Flying you in for me
What's a bang bang post you can't do a bang bang with that little belly? Hey fuck you. I can eat what are you gonna? I'm a fry
Let's get let's do a bang bang in a swarma with you today before we came here
I had a salad. I'm actually kind of keeping it clean. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I feel bad
I wrote my bike here.
We have a bike. Yeah, I guarantee it's a silly bike. You can see it's a little silver galley. It's cute. It's cute. No, I think it's silly. I think you have a silly bike. It looks kind of like Peewee's bike.
Yeah. Yeah. Why would you fuck around?
It's not ridiculous. You're not like one of those tall bikes. No, no.
So that come town money look at you. That come town money gets you a high bike.
Yeah.
A circus bike from 1820.
Mouso, the original road this.
I mean, but that is a line.
I want to go back to this.
There is a line.
What is the line when you say, okay, we don't want to assault women.
We don't want to make women feel we don't want to make women feel uncomfortable,
we want to empower women, but, you know,
tell me, let me see your tits, you know what I mean?
How do you do that?
What is the line?
So when you say, oh, hey, let me tell me
about some famous titties you're seeing.
Yeah, but we talk about famous dicks as women.
Okay, but, okay, there's the line too.
Where's the line for you guys?
Yeah.
I mean, is there a line for women too?
Because once you start fucking going, no, no, no,
it's gonna affect you guys someday too.
Absolutely.
Where you're gonna be like, what?
I mean, let me ask you a question, Gab.
What's up?
And when a guy is with you, did I ask you this already?
I have no idea what you're about to say.
When a guy's with you, do you want a guy to,
how would you mind the guys passionate,
kissing you, making out with you,
and then all of a sudden, there's dicks out
and your hands on it.
Is that a bad thing?
I mean, no, I'm serious, because, I mean,
that to me is the progression of sex.
Right, right, right.
I think there's a difference between like,
the natural progression of making out to having sex
or like someone grabbing your hand
and putting it on their dick.
Like, we'll get there.
We know it's there.
I know you have it.
Right.
Yeah, I don't usually whoop it out.
You let them grab and take it out.
Because that's like the lead.
They're taking the lead.
My move was fucking take it out.
Like make out kiss, kiss.
And then I take it out and
they'd be like what are you doing I'm like yeah I would play
koi
oh my god what is that
how do you think that yeah a loop with your penis
oh what's this
he's using She is a new. Yeah. How did that get here?
I forgot my underwear again.
Oh no.
Silly me.
Next week there's a article about Bobby and the New Yorker.
Just going around flashing with me.
Oh look man, you'd have to, my wife would have to be
in that fucking, I mean that's how I met her.
I have that joke of my act.
That she rock.
Yeah, she said my dick on a rock for a nice cream
on her first day.
I took that dick out of waved it.
She was like, what now?
I was like, get on it.
Yeah.
Now she's gonna house in a kid.
Yeah.
You're sweating.
I mean, where is the line?
Yeah.
I mean, where is it?
Yeah, but if she didn't want to,
she wouldn't have sucked your dick on a rock.
I don't think she wanted to, Gab.
I don't think she wanted to.
Wait, Julie, she did. At least not on a rock. I don't think she wanted to, Gab. I don't think she wanted to. Wait, Julie, J.
I did.
At least not on a rock.
I made it.
I actually made it.
Were you showing her pictures of ice cream on your face?
I put my hands in.
Oh, yeah, what do you want, girl?
I put my hand.
This is a cone.
This is my cone.
I get what it is.
Fucking, fucking he-haw.
I think I did take it out inappropriately.
I did.
I put my hand in her hair and made a fist
and then twisted and made it to a handle
and put it on kitty.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
It's hot, right?
Yeah.
I need to leave.
I'm going to bat them, just pat it off. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, pat it off. I'm very, very disgusting.
Yeah, I mean, everybody's inappropriate.
I mean, I guarantee your dad's a rock star.
If we're gonna take them all, that's the one thing to do.
Oh yeah, rock star is like,
they all fucked kids and shit.
Yeah, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really,
it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really,
it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really,
it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, Oh
Like Bowie fuck kids like
Oh, we fuck kids. Yeah, they all find kids. They all had like four or 15 year old like
Mistresses or it's like that's a fucking kid. It's
I'm sweating. I'm starting like that guy in my own. But if you have to move this area, if you have to, if you're gonna look at everybody,
if you're gonna start taking these people out,
you have to go in all these rock stars
you're fucking in love with,
all these famous motherfuckers that sing,
take them out.
Yeah.
You gotta take them out.
How the fuck, it was all about pussy.
Every Molly crew gone.
Jovi, you know,
you gotta take them out. You, take him out. Yeah. You got to take him out. How the fuck, it was all about pussy.
Every Molly crew gone.
Jovi fucking out.
Dick, too.
Fucking all them, a fucking gone.
So we're gonna go back to my 50s where everyone wore,
like, that's groupie shit, like groupie.
That's what is happening.
I always when he killed that famous black guy
and took his music.
I think, no, there's a difference between. There's definitely a dead. Allegedly. Happening Alice when he killed that famous black guy for taking took his music
I think no there's a difference between
Allegedly there's definitely a dead black guy and don't you talk shit about Elvis again. I swear to God
When you last time you listen to Elvis Bobby last week
Fuck you, you're? I have a fucking right? Burn love. No, that's a great song.
I'm so good song.
Hunk of Hunk of Burn, I'm gonna love.
I used to love, I used to be obsessed out eldest Elvis as a little kid.
Yeah, Elvis.
Elvis is my roommate's name. It's weird, yeah.
Elvis is great, listen, Elvis has his place.
He does, and when you're a little kid, absolutely.
Elvis was the absolute coolest man ever.
For a minute, he was. For a minute. Towards the end, he was very uncool. Yeah little kid, absolutely. Elvis was the absolute coolest man ever.
For a minute, he was.
For a minute.
Towards the end, he was very uncle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got his house in his wallet.
He's a little sickened with an accident shit.
And if you go to his house, you look out and say,
there's ain't that much.
Yeah, I think I can get this.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen it.
You walk in, you're like, that's the jungle room.
Yeah.
I got a closet bigger in the T-C-V room.
It's like, yeah.
I almost bought a house like this in Westchester.
But it had higher ceilings. That fucking house is tiny man when you're in there.
I was just how stanksy. I'm gonna say it. I'll say it. Nice piece of property.
Nice piece of property but the house is shit. It's a tear down. You know.
You've got four steps in the front. You fucking asshole. You're Elvis.
Get a fucking staircase.
Yeah, it's nice for Memphis.
Yeah, he's got a regular staircase where he fucking died.
Not even lay up there.
Really?
I'm not, I don't get to walk up to the shitter.
Where he fucking dies.
What?
The price still smells.
All right.
Pass that over to the fuck.
Thank God I got rid of it. Thank God. Now,
I go, put it right over there. You know, it's like to. Alright. Oh,
but you know, your buddy, your, you, that you did the show with John,
used to have, he bought his American Express card and his birth certificate.
So he had, there's actually a birth document where the doctor that delivered
Elvis and his dead stillborn
brother is on the page before. So it says Aaron Presley is on the page before and then
Elvis is on the next page. I don't know that he and his daughter Jesse, Jesse, Aaron
Presley. And I actually buried on the property.
There he is. He has what bombers have comes in you just have Yeah, he was a twin. I don't know that Elvis was a twin. Elvis was a twin as
Stoborn twin brother. That's why I'm
I'm doing it on you. Yeah, there's I look like a baby elephant, but that's
Aaron Elvis.
Aaron Elvis. Jesse
If you make another 25-dollar
issue my patreon you win baby Elvis's brother Aaron. Yeah, I just he
Garrett. Yeah, Jesse Garrett. If you go if you go to his if you go there
Those are shitty days in across the street the neighborhoods just to throw shit. Oh terrible. Yeah, it's terrible
And then they have this fucking house that you go up in and
It is a fuckage. It's all like shag carpeting the kitchen stinks
It hasn't changed since what the 70 77 yeah Yeah, no, you think you would fucking,
I don't know, wouldn't be so, were they going to do redo the place and go, well, you
never see Frank Sinatra's joint from back then? You never see, you never see, there's a
lot of famous people that had smoke and fucking pads. Yeah, but Sinatra died in what 90 something
he was 20 years later. Yeah, but still, I mean, he could have, back then his house was still
the shit. Probably back in the, so not just house back in the shit. Look at later. Yeah, but still, I mean, he could have, back then his house was still the shit.
Probably.
So not just house back in the shit, look at that.
Yeah, but that's probably the best.
But he also lived in Memphis.
You know, we're not talking about Memphis,
a country kid from Mississippi.
Yeah, I know, but those don't I'm saying
as he fucking had cheesy taste.
Yeah, he's like,
horrible, hell this is,
this is where Jack and I was probably
getting fed up with him,
peanut butter sandwich.
Yeah, he had a racket ball
of court in the back.
Look at that house. That house. Yeah, it wasn't the end of the racket ball. Yeah. You had a racket ball court in the back. That's everything.
Oh yeah, wasn't the Indoor racket ball?
Yeah, it was in the racket ball.
Yeah, that house is still the shit.
Sonata.
Now go to Elvis's house.
Watch this.
Watch this fucking.
It's probably a lot of pussy juice in the air pool.
Yeah, I mean, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata,
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata.
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata,
Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata. Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata. Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata. Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata. Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata, Sonata. Son then I said it, then you said it. Are you listening? No. He literally said that's all and I would
push it. And then you went, that's all pushing.
A huge centipede over joke.
Yeah.
There's a lot of pushing jokes. That's all pushing jokes.
Look at this. And she's turned.
Oh God. That's her dick. It was probably all kinds of I fucking decorated like cat Von D would decorate it
Fucking weird vampire look at that full-mo
They sell it. No, that's not Graceland
That's Graceland right there, isn't it? Yeah, that's it right there real right there. That's Grayson
Yeah, just looks like a suburban. Yeah, looks like a shitty fucking head to shitty little house. It's all it is
His wife is banging though. Oh, which one? Lisa Pressley. I like that right there that the grave is I mean
It's still a little cheesy. You could have done better than that. I think it's brother
I think he's brother his brother his mom. Yeah, brother's mom and his dad. I want to pyramid. I want just a full pyramid
Pyramid
When I die I want to be buried with a servant.
They tend to me in the afterlife. Like I did with Kelby, I should put him in the hall of them.
I think I was the only cool one. I still love divas ashes on my bureau. Really? I gotta dump those
this. Yeah, yeah. I just want people to want to be dumped.
Where would Diva want to be dumped?
I think in Boston and in Boston Harbor.
Nice.
No, she's actually a LA dog.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, look at the court.
This is actually cool, but again, it's a little fun.
I can give it to you.
Quarer, you take Diva back to LA with you.
A dumper in Culver City.
It's not just pools.
Of course, I will.
Yeah.
Just in the LaG Guardia trash can.
There was a beautiful ceremony. It was a beautiful ceremony. A lot of people cried.
P.S.A. Get rid of that. Okay. Do you want to mail it now? You have to check that pocket.
If you want to mail it now, you have to check that pocket
See some fucking Puerto Rican middle-aged woman amtie it out and keep the box
You just see it in flowers in it now. Yeah, you go to your dentist. I
Keep my change
Yeah, how stinks out of stinks. Yeah, I I love Elvis But his house stinks look at that. It's his house. His plane was cool. The The now it's all the way to the plane was playing fucking blows from the
Seven even have a private plane back then is pretty cool. Yeah, he had a jet
He didn't have like a cool. What's the plan?
First of all, it was easy to have a private plane back then that it is now really no, I just made that
I said it was such conviction
His was his was a serious
Yeah, that's all you really look at that. Yeah, I mean that's not a that's not like a
Sessner G5. That's ugly. I know I kind of like it. I like it. There's a bed in there too
Yeah, if you look up on all sprites if you played the bass for the Parkridge family that
Played really fucking good. That playing stinks. I don't know for the 70s. I'll give him the plan. I'll give him the plan
I'm looking at those chairs. Yeah, all right playing was cool the plan is across the street by the way
Yeah, it's right. Oh, yeah, so you just walk it. I guess that's kind of cool for that
That's bad ass for I mean that's your private plane in the 70s
Yeah, no, you're right. He didn't fit in that chair in the fucking 80s
He did because he was dead, but
All right, you fucking fact checker I'm a fucking hell. Well, the 80s he did because he was dead, but... Yeah, what a piece of it.
Wow, alright, we fucking fact checkers.
Let's go to another podcast, okay?
You fucking nerd?
Well, take him with you on the way out.
I'm gonna keep the fucking blotchy blonde.
Ah, I can.
Alright, well, I'm gonna wrap this up.
I think we've solved nothing again on this podcast.
No, we never do.
We never do. Why do we talk about anything serious? I was just gonna do bits, you know?. No, we never do. We never do.
Why do we talk about anything serious?
I was just gonna do bits, you know.
We did, we had a lot of fun.
I mean, you got a little heated.
Yeah, you started yelling at everybody.
You yelled not at everybody at court.
He yelled at the door.
No, I think technically it branded.
Was it branded?
It was like a hate crime, I was like,
what were you yelling at him for?
I was just like, I was like, get away from my wallet.
I see you looking at it.
I'm like, that like get away from my wall. I see you looking at
Again, they've already said they were I think they have a t-shirt that says that
You know probably here's deal you either don't do any of it. Are you go all the way? Yeah, you go all the way and say fuck you
Take us out. Yeah, I mean seriously, I feel, look at, I think like that
with Owen Benjamin, I think he's a funny, talented,
really funny guy, smart guy.
I just, it's like, you know, what the fuck?
You know, if, you know, first of all,
if you're gonna do this stuff, this is gonna happen,
you have to figure it's gonna happen.
He'll find somewhere else to go. The fact that Patreon took him off. I think they should just pause. He's still on there. Is he?
Yeah, they're monitoring his page. Good. Don't fuck let him who gives a fuck
Just don't listen. Why can't people not listen when the fuck did why does everybody have to?
What the fuck don't listen move the fuck on, why does everybody have to fuck? What the fuck?
Don't listen, move the fuck on.
Yeah, block him, whatever.
There's so much music I don't like.
There's a bunch of movies I can't fucking stand.
There's all kinds of shit that stinks.
And I just don't watch it and I don't listen to it.
And I don't need to fucking tell anybody either.
Or you know that fucking girl who gives a fuck.
Yeah, it is weird that it's like,
you can't just have
different tastes.
I mean, nothing necessarily is the same thing,
but it feels like if you just aren't into the same shit,
people will argue with you now.
Yeah, you can not like certain things
and not be a fucking racist.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.
No, you have to like black people.
You have to like them.
You don't have to like them, you can tolerate.
I'm Black Panther tolerance
Look at black pant there was not a great movie. Let's just be controlling some classic Bob
Glimmer in his eyes waiting for
Boston by the try to get back I watched it twice I watched it once on a movie that I bought from when you guys are like
I watched it twice I watched it once on a movie that I bought from when you guys are like
Keep moving I was like let me give it a real show I paid for it
That's great. No dude. I mean the movie was all right. I mean it was a good movie. It's right three
Huh, it's rocky three not the
That's that's the best way to
The other but it's rocky three. It was it was good. This is a lot of blood people. Yeah, exactly why.
Yeah.
There's one black guy.
Anything.
It was only one black guy.
It was every black guy.
Rocky movie.
Well, Murray takes a rocket to that gym.
Oh, he's a crew bat.
That was two, right?
That was three.
That was three with a creed when he got fucked up by Mr. T.
Hey, woman.
Hey, woman.
I think that was the best one.
I think Rocky won and then go right to three, right?
You need to because that's how it begins to amp you in.
Yeah, two is good, but three is better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So four is you gotta watch for now because Cree too, he's gonna fight Dregos son, which
is gonna be insane.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
That's read rules.
It's gonna fuck up Cree because Cree too is gonna just be silly.
What's gonna suck those back down when people box you could die.
Now they're not letting you die.
You can't die in boxing now.
People don't get, you know, because the ref is,
they're so on top.
Back then, they fucking pussy's now not dying in the ring.
Oh, they're fucking, who's 15 rounds.
15 rounds and they would just let a guy go,
woo, yeah, yeah.
Just be on the ropes, fucking getting hit.
Yeah. Oh, they used to get, I of a buddy who killed a guy in the ring Jesus
right this comes up now
let's say by nick the power for 40 more minutes
yeah
the house is
nothing left to try to steal this fucking boring
shit. This boring ship into the fucking end. You fucking know I'm murderer.
You got to answer right questions.
All right. Well listen, I want to thank you guys for coming on. I missed you so much.
I missed you. I missed you and I missed all three of you. Haven't seen you so
long. How's your buddy Mike doing?
It's good, it's good.
All right, we're gonna get you guys back on together.
I love when you're on together.
All right.
How did you miss me at all?
I didn't know.
I hadn't heard from you in so long.
You called me out of the blue and I was,
I got a panic attack.
I was like, what the fuck, Bobby?
Oh, shit, did I do something?
What did you do?
What did you do? Nothing. What did you do? What did you do?
What did you say?
Why are you gonna read our dates instead?
It's last five episodes how much he needs you.
I wanted to say before we take off.
Next Tuesday, you two are doing a roast battle.
Oh yeah, at the stand.
At the stand, roast battle, I talked to Lewis J Gomez and this is going to be an
epic fight between you two okay I see somebody's weak I mean it's a strong word buddy Gabby is coming
to take you out yeah look at her look at her look at those serial killer glasses she bought it she
got caught you better listen to me, you better come with it.
You got come to you understand?
You better fuck look. No, no, no.
No, you know, I'm gonna have to talk to you after the show.
Your confidence is low. What's up with you?
Huh? Are you gonna kill her?
Are you gonna murder me?
No, what?
He has a tated.
This is psychological trickery.
Yeah. He's doing some weird shit right now
I guarantee he's got a fucking no he went back to San Antonio and got every fucking little dirty Mexican
Can I say that sure you can but I mean they just
Don't have friends down there
All right, so next yeah, I feel like he's gonna pull something out of the bag. I
Mean I am a very talented comic, but I mean that's not good at roast battle
That's actually a bump right there. It's like I'm I'm funnier than you on stage
But you can probably beat me a battling roast thing. It's a different skill. It's fucking
Well, we'll say next the bar low next
It's fucking I don't know what will say next the bar low next
We're gonna sell this event
Tuesday just a one-off I think it'll be really fun I'm gonna be if you come out and watch it you're gonna have a great time like what five jokes
It'll be it'll be the best-rust battle. It's been there in quite a while. Oh, shit
I want to say I'm not jumping on that bandwagon. I got booked again Jesus Christ
I didn't do well. I'd be one of these people's there again. This Sunday night I will be at the Friday, Saturday,
but the seller fucking bunch of shows. And this Sunday night, I'm actually at a
fact black pussycat and you two, uh,
queers are coming on, right? Yeah. I think I'll be doing a couple minutes each.
Uh, I don't know. We'll probably have to separate you so we don't kill the show right away.
Fucking burriest. I don't know, we'll probably have to separate you so you don't kill the show right away Stand up, I'm not the waitress
Do you want to come on do a set this weekend sure are you around this weekend? Yeah Sunday Sunday you're out. Yeah, all right cool
Are you out? Are you around? Are you around? You got plans?
Yeah, we're gonna be try back at film festival Bob. Yeah, I'm gonna for what I'm doing press for what my movie park
You oh, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, we get the depressant shit. All right, cool. There's dope. All right cool
And then what else do I have though? I'm looking on my thing here on my slack app,
and there's nothing at the end.
We have anything else in the app?
You know, just your dates.
Oh, yeah.
Bananas, I fucking love bananas.
I'm there next week.
May 4th, May 5th, May 12th, Treehouse, May 18th,
19th Charlie Goodnight's back at the fact
black pussy cat, then me and Vos, June 1st, Westbury theater, Westbury, New York, it's a huge gig.
It is going to be unbelievable. Me and Rich Voss are going to fucking kill it in the
round. So check it out. That would be cool.
McCurdy's then I got fact black again. I'm all over the fucking place.
I'm at laughing skull. Lantern, I'm coming.
It's keeps growing. I'm at Austin, Texas. I am in to the big venue now.
Metropolis. It's fucking 1500 people, I think, more than that.
And it's a big like when it was at these clubs, so it was intimate.
It was small. Yeah. Now it's a big venue. It's, you know, I'm in
the last year, our, our he's a fear hosted. He just, he just went
out there and took a hot one.
You're like, why is he hosting?
You know, he's like, so what's up?
Yeah, yeah, welcome to the Montreal Montreal.
I mean, it's like, what?
Like, who's this fucking schedule?
But then he picked it up.
I'm doing a live podcast out there too.
I'm doing live podcast out in Montreal.
I got a lot of stuff going on and I'm working till Goddamn New Year.
So check out my robbercaliolive.com.
Make sure you go to patreon.com slash robbercali.
If you are a fan of mine and you are part of this
over here paying on the premium, dump it, get off it.
Please come over to Patreon.
Check it out, patreon slash robacallie.
It's growing every day and I really appreciate you guys
Support me over there. We get a bunch of stuff. I am gonna do a tech show tech talk with Bobby and friends the one I used to do
Every once in a while is coming back to Patreon. What's up? I never said what a bang bang was. She asked you like five times
Oh, yeah, you need two meals back to back for Ryzen Bell
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you have a back to back. Verizon bill. Oh yeah.
So you have a meal at specific restaurant?
There was one of the episodes of Louis.
We were trying to lose weight.
We're going to go to the gym because we couldn't get chicks.
And we were looking at girls, we were too fat.
And then I was like, we should go to the gym.
He was like, we should go to the gym.
Let's go.
But we have to do a bank bank first.
And it is a, yeah, we go and have a meal, a full meal,
like at an Indian place and then
you go right to a diner have another full meal you're basically forcing a bottom if you're a
drug addict and be like just doing pure cocaine and then fucking boot into it some hair
get some heroin okay we've done playing a band back you like that's the funny thing is that
all the other thing that all the time oh yeah we just did that all the time. Yeah, we just, that's how we ate.
Oh my God, there's shots.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun on that tour.
We had a lot of good food.
Absolutely.
Cleaver, remember that one was wild.
We fucking, we went, we went,
we went, fought to an Italian place.
Fought to a talent.
That was a fun one.
I was a diet on that one.
I'm telling you right now, I'm back to the hotel room, dude. That's where I got my belly button hurt. That was a that one. Telling you right now I'm back to the hotel room dude.
That's where I got my belly button hurt.
That was a tough one.
Sure, that was my fucking intestines ripped open my belly button.
And then I believe we got pizza after the shows.
Yes we did.
That's right.
Yeah, we're a nightmare.
It's a fire.
I bought a massive pie.
Oh.
That I do, yes.
Yes.
Oh, we ate so good.
I know a guy that murdered somebody.
This weekend I'm at Virginia Beach funny bone in two weeks. I'll be at comedy zone in Charlotte.
Okay, cool. There you go. You beat. I get no events up there.
I never want my stuff. What do you got, Stavvy? Please follow me on Instagram, Stavvy Baby 2.
It has another thing that fucking pisses me off
that you got taken off.
I know, yeah.
I mean, you built this thing from nothing.
I'm finally back up there though.
But it's original, it's growing.
You made a little mistake.
It was a little maybe a little too far.
I don't know what it was,
because I don't, it wasn't that-
It wasn't that-
It wasn't that, it really wasn't that.
Yeah, I think I got reported for like,
there was some weird thing where I got reported
it's a spam or abuse or something,
which I don't understand at all.
I make it sound like you're making fun of fat people
for some reason.
Yeah, I don't know.
Either way, I think I'm good now.
I hit rear abuse, I think it was abuse when I hit.
Yeah.
I did that by accident.
But Stavvy Baby II, the world's number one plus-size erotic male model.
So please check that out.
Listen to Come Town on iTunes and also on YouTube.
I mean, they get enough.
And you can plug me on your show.
Yeah, we're actually doing a live show in Baltimore on Sunday the 6th. So our month may 6th.
So we just, as I said, the first time I'm announcing it.
So come onto that monthly show, right?
We do a twice a show twice a month, the second and fourth Monday of every month at, come
on everybody in, in Bedstuy.
What Max, he's missing you, buddy.
I miss Max.
He's actually asked for you.
Let's, let's, I want to come to this house. Yeah. Do do a Sunday have some food. I love it. The weather's good now. He really does
Yes, but what's that? I was the boss. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I miss max. He should come up. Yeah, we have a boy
We should come up before the party though. We have the party coming up the June second week or next week
Let me know okay. No, we'll barbecue have some food. I love it. I'm smoking yes play with them
I'm not doing any bad substances. No smoking anymore.
Yeah, well fucking hang out. All right.
Well hang. All right, whatever that means. I mean, you're still fucking
seducing women. Yeah.
I'm not, I'm celibate now.
Well, you're power. No, no, no.
Of course not. You're not.
You're a snout, you're a finger right now.
Smell that tooth.
It was medically removed. It smells fine. Thank you very much.
His tooth out of you rotted out from pussy juice.
It's very acidic. They don't tell you. The dental damage for your teeth.
What do you got my friend? People who listen to this live. I am doing a week
residency at the Creek and a Cave along Allen City. Some PMs of free show.
Got some fun people on that. I'm gonna have a hour.
And then I'm at Union Hall on Tuesday on Tuesday May 1st hosting the show there. Is that your show? Yeah, yeah, yeah
What's it called?
Don't think once I was really drunk when I came up with it. It was bad. It's a bad. I love your post
Good name actually. Oh, I do this whatever. It's good to see you
Thank you, and then check out my movie podcast medium popcorn niggas spoil movies
Well, I will stop saying it so if simple. If you're going to say it, just say it.
It's so uncomfortable.
Niggas spoiling movies.
Jesus.
Oh, and then I'm at the stress factory on a Tuesday, May.
All right. Cool.
What is that for?
That's just a clue.
OK.
I know what it is.
Running Maker Bound.
All right.
Cool.
What do you got, Michael?
I'll be at Lafayette Lans, Antony, next month,
with Big J.O.G.R.C.N.
We'll be at the El Paso comic strip with Nick Gare next month. And I'll be at theown, San Antonio next month, with Big Jail Gerson, we at the El Paso comic strip
with Nick Garan next month,
and I'll be at the improv in San Antonio,
headlining in August.
If you guys watched my live thing last night
on Instagram or it's on Facebook or now you can go watch it.
I have a,
misery loves company,
piece of art framed that I'm giving away,
if you're a fan of it. I have it.
So if you want it, you have to join Patreon. No, I'm kidding. You can just email me. I'm
going to give it to a fan. So if you want it, but it wouldn't hurt if you joined Patreon.
Don't name it. I mean, if you're a member of Patreon, it might be free. Yeah.
Why am I going to get it signed for you? But no, I have. You just signed Rich Boss on it.
Yeah, Rich Boss wasn't in it.
It was Kevin Brennan.
Kevin Brennan Liz.
Oh, yes.
Oh, you got all the other on the sign it.
It was Kevin Brennan Liz and Lenny.
Lenny, I remember.
Oh, yeah, original.
I remember that.
I remember he went down we were on tour, the whole
kerfuffle.
Yeah.
Good work.
That's all money on the cruise.
Yeah, a few weeks ago.
What in Washington Square Park?
No, it's not.
It's in Bahamas.
It was cruise.
It's in Miami.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm going to cruise at a men's bath.
What's your name?
My assless chaps.
Yeah, what do you got, Ben?
I'll be in bars and basements all over Brooklyn.
I have a monthly show at the way station in Brooklyn.
That's on the 30th this month.
And then I have a new podcast called
A Pod Colips with Katie Hanigan.
So check that out.
That's fun.
And you know, that's, that's it.
And next week you guys are battling each other.
Zach.
You guys are the best fans in the world.
Zach, what do you got?
Zach, the new guy.
I love you. We'll see you guys next world. Zach, what do you got? Zach, then you good. I love you.
We'll see you guys next week.
You know what, Dad?
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Check out riotcast.com
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