Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bobby and Luis Fight

Episode Date: August 21, 2017

This week on YKWD; We have a jam packed YKWD Dudes! We have guests Ralph Sutton, Casey Balsham and JP McDade with stop in's from the regulars Joe List and Luis J. Gomez Dude! Bobby and Luis get into it!! They have another epic back and forth that ends surprisingly well. Ralph debuts the YKWD new merch! T-Shirts, Sweat shirts and Coffee mugs dudes!! Coming soon! We talk about Joe's pre wedding jitters and hear about JP's childhood in CT. Casey has some killerrr come backs, and we do a hysterical Fuck, Marry, Kill. Luis? Big Jay? Or Dave Smith? Find out who Lauren picks! Listen/Watch/Share/Enjoy Dudes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost of fire. It's podcast, no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic-o? Oh, that's so fun.

That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down, and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin.

That's how it all holds. That's your motherfuckers. You want a day you think my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. You know, it's like, we're here.

Look back. It's so funny. You're finally out there. Wow, you were finally going to tattoo. You guys wasn't done by a fucking meth head in Yonkers. I know, I was specifically done by fucking meth head in Yonkers. No, I was sick of a job by a meth head in Yonkers. And then I look at it, it's skulls and fucking, and weird fucking Hawaiian flowers.

What are you banging a fucking Hawaiian, a Simone, why do you have these tropical flowers surrounded by skulls? Because these are, it's my birth flower, my son's birth flower, and his mother's birth flower. You have a birth flower? I have another birth flower. and his mother's birthflower. You have a birthflower? I have another birthflower. Every month it's a birthflower.

What a faggot you are. Who knows the birthflower? Did you have to look it up or you knew what it was? Well, I asked my boyfriend. He got it. He thought it makes sense. He knew it by heart. He thought it's a circle, right?

What's the other flower? Well, those are all the birthflowers and then the skulls are my parents. Oh, oh, the... Oh, sorry, yeah. You shouldn't laugh at that. Because they're dead. Listen, which one is the big skulls are my parents. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, from the heroin. What's the other flower, the big, big flower, the dominant flower? I don't remember which flower is which. Jesus Christ, Lewis. Yeah. Why would you get a tattoo of a flower? I got an outline like four years ago. How am I supposed to remember every fucking month's birth flower? I don't know. Google it. It's on your phone. Barrow somebody's

phone. Go to a fucking your house. Go to a library. Go on the internet. It's five seconds. Are you done? No. You know what's the best part? You didn't think about my idea to do the Garden of Birth Flowers. I just showed. Who wants a Garden of Birth Flowers? Dave Smith, woman, shut your face.

Oh, wow. I'm an affordable person. How the fuck do you, Dave Smith, woman, my producer. Yeah, my producer. My producers have come first. Slash producer of this podcast. Well, welcome to the, you just stopped in, which I love. I just popped in there.

I love when people just stop into the YK fucking W. Anybody can do that, guys, right above the comedy sellers? No. Really, you can't. You want to just pop in. Anybody can do that guys right above the comedy sellers. No. Really. We want to just pop in. You cannot do that live show. You cannot actually open your phone.

You literally can. Yeah. I mean, we'll stop you. So some fucking some volume will stop you on the second floor. But we'll we'll we'll filter the people through. We'll vet some people. Um, wasn't going to say to you to you, you guys getting a new studio. Yes.

I'm so excited. Ralph Sutton, the founder and president of the main and only president. The main. I'm not, I'm just speaking with you. We talk about the fuck. The little Rob Sprancy to me. He's the Donald Trump of gas digital. And you are the what?

I am the... Melania Trump I just suck his cock every night. Are you doing such a good job Ralph? Just your exotic girlfriend You're gonna throw away once you start making real money You guys get a new studio. Yeah, we didn't actually officially sign the leech up But we got approved and I would say that realistically. You would stop, you got approved. Yeah. We should be signing on the lease.

No, his name is on the lease. My name's obviously on the lease. Are you fucking dumb? Absolutely. Do you have a lawyer? Yeah, we have, there's a good guy close on it. So it's fine. What does that mean?

If you, as long as you pay the rent, as long as you don't rape, as long as you don't increase the price, in New York City, there's a good guy close. As long as you pay the rent every month, if you need to leave, you can leave. the price. In New York City, there's a good guy close. As long as you pay the rent every month, if you need to leave, you can leave. And just they keep the security. It's called the good guy close.

Okay, great. And because Lewis is known as a good guy. Right? I mean, the young comics around the guy Lewis, they can that as fucking rep? Yeah, everyone knows that. Wait, I thought they keep all the equipment too. And I was like,

No, no, you could take all your shit. Oh, fucking stories. I was, no, that's what I thought it was, because you said that. I looked it up, but you could take it. And then I was like, why wouldn't we just go? Oh cool. We're leaving in a week.

Let's take all of our equipment out. I will. Lauren introduced everybody. I I I I got saturated with the fucking Gomez. There's the flower garden. You're right. Maybe we have Casey ball. Shant.

Who's back? Who I've met on the wild. Casey ball sex. After the woman's march with Anthony Cume. Oh my God. Remember that. Oh, those are fucking crazy Talking about his experiences with we I think that was a crazy one who else was on that there was somebody else Paul Versey always Fucking brudds. Yeah, they're fucking running up the street. I was talking about it. Yeah, I just just went to his hour special

You were there. Yeah, I was in about it. I just just went to his hour special. I was there. You were there. I was in the back. VIP. I, uh, you know, have it snacks. Yeah, the book. I, uh, fucking me to it. You fucking thin twink. Uh, but, uh, we, yeah, he fucking murdered.

I went to Michelle's after party. Michelle Wolf, I heard murdered it too, uh, the night before before I didn't I didn't get to go fucking Keith Robbers and pulled the stroke fucking shit on me. What? Well, he was like, get another stroke. No, no, no, no, no. We were, we were both at spots and I wanted to go and he wanted to go and I was on before him.

And then I, you know, Keith would like to go before you and I go, fuck, all right, whatever. You know, he gets to go because it takes him longer to walk over to the theater. So he went, I didn like, oh fuck, all right, whatever. You know, he gets to go, because it takes him longer to walk over to the theater. So he went, I didn't get to go, but I heard you killed it. The after party was good. Food was all right.

Dan Sodor was there with his new girlfriend, who I fucking love. Well, you know, Dan's that guy. He's a serial monogamous, right? He is a, he just wants a family, you know, because his was just taken away. And his girlfriend is the shit. Really?

She's the cool, she's funny because we were making all these fucked up jokes and laugh and you know when the girl just sit there and you can see when they're like, she was cracking the fuck up like one of us, which was great. So anyway, and who else do we get on the show? We have Ralph Sutton here.

Ralph Sutton. Hello there. Like I said before, the owner of Rau Gas Digital and soon to be, we're going to join, we talk about joining the networks. Yes, we're going to join networks. Join networks in the mean. You will be co-owners. Yeah, and Rau and Lewis and Rob will be. He was in robber be We we I'm glad to have you back on it. It's been I'm looking over gonna have fucking sandwiches every day We're gonna have a buffet. I was on two years ago before you changed the whole studio Yeah, you were with the little table. Yeah, yeah, yeah I was what was the name scalaro got to a fight on the air that was so fucking crazy Wait, why are you and Brian Spar got into a fight on the air. That was so fucking crazy. Wait, why are you in blind splurging until fight?

He got mad at me because, you know, it was my first time doing this show. And I think that that time, there was like nine people in the studio. We used to have, we used to have around nine to 10 people. And I was, it was my, I was in, I was supposed to eight now. Well, it was supposed to be four.

And you're fucking, you know, I had a slimy Puerto Rican slip his way through the door. And I would then turn into eight, you fucking idiot. Huh? No, guests, guests. Four, they're not. Oh, no, no. We're talking, you can't.

There were no flowers. We're talking about guests on the show, not fucking extra people that helped do the show. There are. I used to run the show. If they all have microphones, they count. Anybody who has a microphone counts. They're not on mic, dude.

Stop just just shut up Let your boss talk Let me just let me take some water out of this It gets better. I already watch this It's a white kid every hole call with them shows This is I just put this on to get here. This whole thing is for you Settle down I know you want it all Lauren there's in the field as well Take your day, put it right on here. Day breakfast right in your cup. That's too big.

Lauren, there's in their feet as well. There's a shirt in their feet. Oh, thank you. Buddy, he looks great. Well, here's the thing is that we got a new you guys who I'm very proud of, by the way, that your studio, because I remember when you wanted to be over here and I was like, dude, just start your own fucking shit.

And then you and him did a show together and you and is that what happened? That's what I said to you. Are you fucking kidding me? Buddy, you wanted, you start your own fucking shit. And then you and him did a show together and you and is that what happened? That's what I said to you. Are you fucking kidding me? Buddy, you wanted, you wanted to be over at Ryakash and then you just started your own shit. You were on Ryakash? I was on Ryakash.

And what I tell you? I left. What I tell you? You said you wouldn't let me use the studio equipment. So I was like, oh, I don't want to be on the Ryakash. I said, go do your, you didn't say that. You said, I'll tell you what you said. I know Bobby. Call you a version of reality.

Is this ready? You said, I wish you would have fought for me more. Am I lying? I said, you said, I got to use all the shit. I go, it's not ready for you to use yet. I can't let you use it right now. I'm sorry. He's letting other motherfuckers come in the studio and use it. But now, whoever else uses the equipment, nobody, Nobody uses equipment in the studio. Not now they do. All right, let's go through the timeline, right? Just pass your timeline. Here's the fucking timeline.

This is why you're delusional. You said to me, as what was it? What was your podcast that was on here? Hammer fisting, hammer fisting. You said buddy, this is the way you presented to. Dude, we gotta use the fucking, we gotta use the video man. We gotta be use the whole studio.

I can't come in here and just, there's all this stuff and I need, I need to, I need to, I gotta let me finish. I gotta let me finish. It's all via podcast so everyone can check the history. This is a phone call, this is a phone call. I gotta, this is not a thing. Tell us the rubber.

I gotta do it to that part of my mind. Are you gonna fucking filibuster? Are you gonna let me talk? Are you just gonna yap over it? Like you always do to everybody. Let me talk and then you get the talk and then we'll go back I don't like that you miss filibuster correctly. Yeah exactly. Here's what you said you said buddy I want to use all the shit my show has to grow I need I should be able as a show in the network use everything in that studio

Before Legion by no this is Legion wanted to come to riot cast at one point. Yes, don't fucking do you fuck exactly. You little shit. And I said, no, you stay with fucking, you stay with the creek because that's, and I said back then, you have a studio, you have a beautiful, she loves you. You should make that your home base become what I became. Don't join my shit, go do your shit.

You're right, Bob. That's what I said. You don join my shit. Go do your shit. That's what I said. You know, I didn't do anything. I said you go do your best. You're taking bits and pieces that make you look awesome and fucking that's your version of history. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me just finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Now you said, I'm not done. So you'll finish when I finish though. How about we fucking go back to fourth? I said, I said, you said to me, I gotta use I go, you can't use it right now. It's not ready. We're figuring it all out.

When it's all ready, those people who are on this, in the studio will be able to use all the equipment. It's not ready. You said, well, if I can't use it, we gotta go somewhere else. I gotta go do my thing. And I said, okay dude, you can go do your thing.

And you went, you said to me, well I wish you would fight for me more. I wish you'd fucking fight for our show this gay can I say that no sort of go fight your doing renovations on the studio and then yeah you said oh yeah dude you can use a zoom recorder let me say yeah and then for a few weeks we use a zoom recorder yeah and then the studio was ready. This is like three weeks of saying, yeah, when the studio is ready, it's good. Then when the studio came back to be ready,

because you decided that the equipment was too delicate for me to use, that I was still going to have to be relegated to a zoom recorder. And then I said, dude, if you're gonna make me come into a studio and sit in record in a zoom recorder, I don't wanna do it on Ryecast anymore. And you said, cool. Yeah, that's exactly what I just said. Yo, good, no. Then I said, okay, go fuck yourself. I'm leaving. and a zoomer quarter. I don't want to do it on Ryke as anymore. And you said cool. Yeah, I was like, exactly what I just said.

Yo, good, no. Did I say, okay, go fuck yourself. I'm leaving. I wasn't going. And I said, and I said, okay, dude, go do you think, man? Okay. And you said, well, I wish you'd fight. I wish you would, you didn't say that.

You didn't say that. I don't really remember. I was just like, you did fight. I maybe jokingly. I was going to like, No, you were joking. It's a little, it's a little weird that this is the level of. This is really, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Why you couldn't use this this studio wasn't for back then

We switched over the studio wasn't for riot cast. It was for YKWD, right? You understand? The fact that I got you the fact that I got your show up here to do what you were doing was a favor Was a favor. Was a favor. You don't work the club at that time. Nobody fucking knows you. Here's a fucking guy that nobody knows coming up doing a crazy fucking hammer fisting podcast.

And they're like, who's this guy? That was all on my cloud card that I had you up here. When we switched this over, it was slowly going to become a studio. Okay. Four shows on the riot cast network where they could use all this shit, right? Until then, everybody had to kinda fucking do what they have to do.

Now shows that you use the studio fit Simmons, Greg Fitts him and uses the studio. You know what he does? He plugs his mics into zooms. He sits there and just uses the studio because we don't have somebody to teach him. What is what is your what's your family? My point is that you're fucking up in about way. Yeah, you did me a favor, Bobby. What a shitty way to run a podcast network. I'm saying that loser a favor. We don't do people favors. We only work with people

that deserve it. That's that's what I'm saying is that you owe me everything. It was of me. You still have a long, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a,

you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a,

you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still have a, you still, okay, it's not a company nice talking you go fuck yourself Where's Joe over here? Oh Sorry, I'm sorry more on you're more you're a moron

Cuz you're a fucking more cuz you're a piece of shit You have no respect for your elders or people that made you I made you big nothing any time I watch it you two on this show together, it always ends in this dynamic. No, it always starts in this dynamic. And then we have nothing. And then we have nothing. Because this bag can't fucking... Whoa.

This queen can't take this fucking spec. Whoa. And this one. And this one. And word. No. All right. Yeah, he can't take it.

That wasn't the end word I found. He doesn't, he can't take it. That wasn't the end word. He doesn't, he doesn't, he can't take the fact that one of my know everything, everything that I pushed him away to go find himself. Like a little baby bird. I said, hey, just go do your thing, man. You got it. Go do it. And he went and did it.

I'm proud of him. He was like my mom a bird except he kept on chewing up the food to spit on my mouth, but he would always swallow it. We didn't see that coming a fucking mile away. No, just a fucking laughin' over Joe, but the but the laugh over my fucking joke, Dickhead, right, Joe? If it weren't for Bobby, you'd be in LA right now. Thank you. Probably important.

You know what you'd be right now, a Mexican. You and I could have a show at the fucking improv on Wednesdays. Come on down, essays. I hate essays. I was never good at writing them. Huh? Thanks for helping me. I came in hot. Wow. I just saw FitzDog by the way.

You were. Good die. We know that you're going to Joe's wedding this weekend. Yes. He's the fucking boss, dog. I'm the boss. He's officiating it. Yeah, I'm a friend of yours. Yes, because you were the very. I'm a fucking man. You're a dainty. This is why he's a hunk of shit. That's why this has a piece of shit.

He has no support for his friend. Instead of going, hey man, that's fucking great. You're doing it. You suck. This place sucks. If this place didn't exist, you wouldn't fucking exist. Are you guys listening to fucking Bobby Kelly rant for the past 10 minutes about how much I fucking suck

and about how he made me and I'm not worth shit. And I was a fucking open micro loser that wasn't working this fucking club. And he brought me up here and fucking did me a fucking favor Ben he said You are a fagging you are quite the queen But a wicking rattlesnakes suck my dick. I fuck be a dress behind the back. She loved this Came on her face. James is really my son.

That'd be great. I'd love to take James. I would love to just take James up to Westchester. Him and Max become pals. No. No, James, not in any time I mentioned the word bully. He goes like Max, like Max the bully, right? Oh, that's what he teaches him. No, because his kid came over and took my kids

to Honours Bridge. That's not what I have. Grab this toy. My kid said, Floop right in his gut. No, that is fucking low. My kid pieces shit Bronx kid. A lesson.

His fucking Harlem kid got a nice lesson. From a Westchester, we'll see what happens the next time. James knows James knows one, two, one, two, one, two, pinch, knee, take down ground a pound It's somebody pulls you off and then Max nose fucking metal shovel in garage Toy shovel took thing off a fucking James's head James is the flower boy at the wedding Yeah, exactly. I just follow as a flower boy right here. I would have it would have been the best is that coffee

I would have been the best of that coffee later than the computer. I would have been ideal. Every time you come on the show, you have bad things to say. It's you. It's you. Every you come on, you go fuck him, beat it, fuck them.

You take them, you take them. You take the middle seat. Who takes the middle seat? I've never not been this person since you've known me. Yes, you have. You're the perfect sweet guy when I met him. No, I wasn't. I was a worse person. You were a sweet guy when I know I wasn't I was a worse person you were sweet I'm a dad now I want a business. I have a successful career Ralph runs it you fucking hustle. Come on

Lewis is a much better dick Lewis is a much better person. You're both very confrontational shut the fuck up Joe Faggot should the mind you fucking business Joe. Just go get married pussy. I need you dog I'm not gonna be there. I have my dogs really increased from around Lewis. Yeah, doggy I like doggy, though. Doggy is my shit. Is that yours? Yeah, doggy. You didn't take it from somewhere No, what do I take doggy from? No, I took dog from you and then I morphed into doggy All right, I wasn't accusing you of taking it from me. I just thought doggie was like the new cultural thing No, I'm saying that I I took dog I started saying dog because you were saying dog a lot and then I Put a little fucking twist on it, but you were saying dog non-ironically. I was saying it to make fun of you bro

Welcome to the worst conversation Who got doggy I got doggy I had a doggy it's the fucking cultural shit the fuck up All right, what you know what you name again? I'm doggy. I had a doggy. It's the fucking cultural shit. The fuck up All right, what you want to talk about again? What's your name again? I'm just taking this all in all right cool I want to know the story the people are gonna want to know the story of the equipment of the studio when they make a documentary Well the equipment of the studio now we have our shows that use the studio We have fine producers here that a fucking do shit with it. No, I don't have I don't have to use it I don't have I actually had Fitsy up here and he thought I was gonna just turn shit on

and plug shit in and I was like, I don't know, you used this fucking shit, what are you crazy? The only thing you turned on was me. Mm, wow. Cause the lips, wow. I mean, it's a compliment to me, but I just wow. I did okay. I thought the ladies laughed at it

and that's who I most wanna make laugh, is I don't know. Lauren fucking didn't even, her mouth didn't even open. Can we just make a commitment to not fight with each other from now on? Yeah, I'll do it. It's like what's going to be both of us. If you stop and sell, if you just acknowledge the fact that if it wasn't for me, you'd be an LA right now. Why were you going to go to LA?

If it wasn't for me, you'd be an LA right now. If it wasn't for me, you'd be in LL right now. If it wasn't for me. Probably would have moved back. Back in the day, right? You did the fucking network. Yes, not with the, and I wait a second. It's way after.

Wait a minute. It wasn't when you brought me to the network. What, no. I think I was off the network already. I was gonna go away. Before the network, I brought you to, you were in your house and I said, dude, I wanna bring you to this network.

I wanna get in. I wanna fucking expose you to everybody. Said I'm a fan of the show. Yes, and I said, dude, I want to bring you to this network. I want to get in. I want to fucking expose you to everybody. I said, I'm a fan of the show. Yes, and I want to expose you. And I brought you to the end. I brought you to the end of the time, you knew? Yes, I was. I was on the first episode.

He was. He was on the sixth. The reason I love Lewis is because he was a hustler. He's a fucking hustler, baby. And I want you to know. And he is a piece of shit like me. He's a confrontat. I saw him running down the street shirtless about to be arrested.

And I said, where you going? That fat load. That fat load. And yes, fat load. No, a shredded. Where are you? I'm not sure. I'm not going to peg you in the face.

Because every version of what you say is wrong. You're not, you weren't shredded. You were not shredded. You were chubby. Idiot. Idiot. It was when I met Beatrice. How would you get a fucking get along if you say stupid things like that fatty me you call me fatty?

You're that no I wasn't you're that you're coming in and he doesn't need you to fucking get his back Don't talk to my fucking producer some fucking like a like a smith girlfriend with the little nerdy fucking kid But when next to the fucking bullets a gig you hear that you're the fuck up Lauren two men are fucking talking If I was Dave and I Literally wait outside the stand of the spaded shovel And the fucking and then I'd have Lauren rub her fucking dehydrated box right on a show You like you make Lauren did you help me pick up the shovel it's too heavy? Lewis Lewis I'm gonna want, two, one, two,

Clanch, ground up. I don't like not being able to see Lauren. I don't, it's very nerve-wracking I have someone behind me. What are you gonna do? Listen. Oh, so here's the deal. Like Maverick and Goose.

And I brought you on this fucking network, right? And did I did not tell you? Trying not to fight with you. Did I did not tell you when you wanted fight with it. I did not tell you What do I want to say if you're not to do this? What do I have to say for you? I guess I should be goose actually. How about thank you. How many times can I say thank you? How many a puppet? I wanted I wanted I wanted right now I love you Bob. You should make them say Grazie's I want this because he's Puerto Rican I don't think they say grab do they say Grazie's I think so. Are they speaks me? No,'t think they say grass. Do they say grassiest? I think so.

Are they speaks Spanish? No, I think they say thank you. Thank you. I don't think they say, I don't think I have manners. They just cut people. There is no manners word for her. Thank you. That was a quick question.

Hi, so me and you aren't gonna fight anymore. Okay. We're gonna be on the same side. Same side. We are on the same side. We're gonna probably be never fight again. Because we're both the same person, right? Both crazy motherfuckers.

Yeah. So from now on, you're a lot now, but you, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha! Yeah. Listen. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it. Listen, you'll be fat again, trust me. You'll be back. Buddy, how many fats have you had? Uh, like three. Yeah, you got at least four in you. At least, we have one more in you.

If you make it, if you get like a TV show, I'll probably say it's not gonna happen until you're 50. When you're 50 when you're 50. You're coming back, baby. That'd be great. A Latino comic needs a bowl. Hey, man, this joke will have worked fucking 10 years ago. What did you say?

I said, a Latino comic should wear a bowling shirt. I wish you'd get fat for your hair. I wish you said that right after my hey, hey, I'm not going to get it because I could pass this over to you. Okay, say this, Bob. Please, here's what I look at. I will be back one more to you. Um, I say this, Bob, please. Here's what I will agree with you. I will be back one more time and when I, I will be, you're right.

And if I come back to being fat one more time, just like you, I will say that's the last time and I'll just let go completely for the rest of my life. And that'll be that. Well, I got, I'm going to come back again. What? And this is, you know that, here's the thing that scared you the last time, is that we were both,

you were just getting shredded and all of of a sudden I was thinner than you and I remember you looked at me and you got mad. I was getting fat. This Bobby's crazy was Christmas day. I was getting fat and Bobby had literally we were both the peak since I've known him which was like 302 pounds. The fucking best shape he was instance. I've known him. Yes, it was it was too listen But 276 or so. It was it was not you're a moron this See how he just says shit though, and if I was if I was just some weak fucking asshole Tard I'd be like who's it to but you're gonna tell this fuck head to shut the fuck up That's how he got invited to my wedding. I went

I was in my best man. He's gonna be fucking passing on mushrooms I was in my best man. He's gonna be fucking passing on mushrooms to the bathroom. And your mother's gonna get fucked. It's not only them, we're totally doing mushrooms that Joe's waiting. I really miss. I think I was pointing out.

I think I was pointing out. Where's the skateboard? I want to smack my head when he comes there. Listen, listen, here's the deal. I do like the skateboard. Stop, right? It's dope, it's dope. It's dope when you're going down the street

and you're not hitting any bumps and falling. Diably fucked twice not that bad. I hope it had worth it worth it Nothing would make me better if you're sitting there going yo, I'm a nickel board a f***ing and a f***ing cab You just go flying I see a camera just land in the gutter listen. Here's the deal That was that was just called a f***ing out of being wordy. I think you were not like a worthy warm up. That's the same. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Anyways, what was this, Handiah? Okay, this what happened. We were both trying to lose weight. We're both chubby. I was fatter than you at one point. Then this was like four, three years. Three years ago.

Three years ago. Three years ago. And what happened was I got on this no sugar no grain thing and it wasn't work. It was work and it wasn't work and all of a sudden it kicked in. Cotosis kicked in, right? You have halitosis. I've been meaning to ask.

No, you have herpes. That's insensitive Robert. I'm getting married. She doesn't know about it. She will because it's in my wedding vows. You know it's gonna happen right before you say I do? Don't say that. Don't say that.

If anyone here has a reason to be, you shouldn't be married. Just Dr. Wuxen with a clipboard. Hi. Hi, Dr. Wuxen. You said, and then what happened was, I was down, shit, 165. You didn't weigh 165.

165, 165. I am. We're right. Quick adjustment. That wasn't too small. Shit 165 you didn't wait 165 Right Everybody in her turn down me at once Everybody went what everyone started have a stroke we all turn into Keith's look wait a minute Keith's Yeah, so and then you went fuck I remember how angry you know it was like this is what type of person Lewis is I'm literally Finally losing the weight. I am down to two sixty five. I it's working. He went fuck No way you're fucking you know way you're fucking beating me his five foot six

Oh, you that's not true. Yeah, I'm five eight in a quarter A quarter of a ton. No. I thought that was pretty good. Five six in a quarter of a ton. I'm sorry. Let's just stop all that. Can we not find it? No, we're not done. This is the first time you're going to stop fighting. This is the problem. This is the problem is that I said I was giving you a compliment and you, because you're so not obsessed with the. I said, you don't have to give a compliment. That's your problem. I was about to know. No, because you can give a comment.

You can give a comment. I was saying, dude, you're a hustler. You're not a hustler. You actually told me specifically that people at a hustle are untounded. No, I did not say that. I just said, you're not talented. You miss and you're a hustler.

And you're a hustler. You're a bower. You're not talented, but you hustle. That's what I said You are a loser and you're Puerto Rican not all Puerto Rican's are losers. Yes. Yes. You miss you miss representing me You know what I'm sorry. Okay. I love you, Bobby. You're right. I love you too. I'm just go to Alan I went to Alan. I don't do it anymore. Of course he does and he's got fucking I am my own therapist What's your fucking bitch? As Alan's the therapist the comedian therapist. Who's your therapist? He's the best in the world. I do think you don't know because why would I know my therapist? Why are you getting angry?

That's just the quit that's the problem. I'm sorry you me you're a fuck you're a fuck you row I said I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry to I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up. We both fuck up We both we can recognize it in the moment that it happened Okay, they didn't admit that it was my fault or your fault them. Okay, we're here. We go. That was your fault So yeah my friends guys, I wonder what the guests think Us to He had a fucking huge bomb. We didn't even acknowledge it. What what was it? I know it was a couple minutes back you were yelling and you said the thing and the Bobby went Boo, and then you guys

Mended you said something. It's sucked. I got your Band-in I trust you That's my therapist make me trust my friends more I want to I want to get to you for a second. Yeah, sir is the last 15 minutes We never gonna fight again dude. Yeah, we're never gonna fight you fucking pussy Why do I have to have the bottom voice in that? Why is you call me a twink earlier? He loves twinkies. This is favorite food. I hate Twinkies. Where do I chalk anise? Well, it'll hate chocolate. I hate chocolate. I hate chocolate. It's so artificial.

You're my artificial. So, Frank, it's time. Don't talk to my partner. New shirts. We're getting it. Well, here we might be going. I think we're going to be this new company. Now we got gas digital gas digital Podcast network great podcast Ralph is the co founder and CEO of it Lewis is the executive something of it. We're just coloners. It's the easiest way to put it Kick ass and take namers on my card That was mine and my name on I worked for a company go juice president my business I just said get shit done because they didn't care about titles fuck yeah dog I like that shit. You have something to say about that say I like that better than taking what did you call what did you say yours was? kickass and take a name

What do you do with the names? Taking throw me the fucking file. Yeah, but you know References who's asked you to get say know, whoever gets in my web, bro Other podcasts network owners. Yeah, there's so much podcast drama. I had no idea There's no pot. We have a very bad job. We're gonna buy out right cast one day. Please Please keep me up What would be the money? I mean this Bobby for you to say for us to come to you right now I'm by like what we're doing as we're saying all of the podcasts are coming under the guest

as little banner. We have to give you amount of money. You guys are giving up everything you need. Just run your own podcast. You could use our studios, you use everything. What's the amount of money that you and Rob's friends would take? $152.

Please give me $150. I might have that on me right now. I'm not going. I think I have that on me right now. It'll get a. The Lawrence thing. Lawrence, you were the first to go. Really? How do we need Dave's girlfriend?

Yapping in the corner doing absolutely nothing. Oh, it does. She does a lot. Listen, here's a deal. It's a text. She's hot. I, uh, I can't call her hard. Now that she's Dave's girlfriend, I, I can't unsee her

as my best friend's girlfriend. So now she's just, whatever she is. It's done. Sister. Can't hit on me ever again. Yeah. I barely ever unsee her as my best friend's girlfriend. So now she's just Whatever she is done sister. Can't hit on me ever again. I barely ever hit on her. You did barely did Barely wow, I was making fun of her chin and her fucking thin lips. That was kind of a veiled So you're hitting on me No, I make fun of your lack of a chin. You have almost the exact like give the almost exact problem as Lauren Now I make one of your lack of a chin. You have almost the exact, like, you have the almost exact problem as Lauren. Me and Joe look alike.

No, you don't. Type two mouth. I got to put your heads to tall Big Bird. Put your thing about me. Put the mic up a little bit. Can you hear me? I want to get you in there. I want to hear you.

That was a good one. I, the podcast networks, we don't fight. We're actually, we're actually, I think that the shows that are on your network are on your network, Legion's a skanks. Legion, one Legion. Whatever the fuck it is.

It's not a multi-religion. I think that the Kumi Network fucked up by letting that show out. Oh, I could not agree on more. But because I really, $700 a month was the price that they wouldn't pay us more. $700 per month. And now that we know what Legion's hands generate

on the backend, like it's fucking crazy more like degenerates ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho He's getting married. He's got herpes, but that bitch don't give a fuck Thank you for trying at least what the f*** you froze white Oh, guys, we're trying to do it We're doing like our own like what are the clothes stop we do our own like version like stop where it's like To do like hit a beat the musical there's so much talent in this room can't even get over it oh wow that's great yeah great you need to take a half hour break so Bobby can recover from that bit. That whistle worked way better than I thought it would. We found that track. Apparently.

Robert, there's a man over there. He's going to be actually, he's helping produce the show now. He's going to be doing the video and he's one of the new guys. That white supremacist in the corner. He's not a white white because he has a son of a cute little shirt. Doesn't he kind of look like he should be fighting and T for members right now? He actually looks like an auntie from now. He looks like the op, he looks like a

United Right guy. Speaking of that, that's pretty crazy what happened this week. What? What? What? That a fucking, I mean, here's the thing that all this crazy shit happened. That that's that that's a throw a body into that car. Fucking animal. Fucking animals. That's right Anthony,'s a thorough body into that car Fucking animals Right Anthony come here baby. I'm with you. Whoo wipe out. Oh my god white pal You know white whatever man don't get into the who's in the woods You're not white the state

Who's in the way to the first one to get fucking? Let on fire at a KK K rally. Yeah, um, I Think it's crazy. They're, but they're ripping down these statues now. And then they're kicking the statue. It's making all this so funny. Do you know all of those nerds that broke their fucking toes on that statue. It is the funniest thing in the world.

Did they actually break a punching? I'm like, they had to. There's no way you cannot, you cannot toe kick a fucking metal statue over over again. Yeah. Just if you're wearing flip flops, people fucking idiots. That's like when they ripped down the Saddam statue when we won the war. The first time we did 20 years of peace ever since and they fucking they were just hitting their they were kicking it. You saw them kick the statue and then they hurt their

foot and they just take their flip flops off and just slap its face. Yeah, it's ridiculous that they're, I get it that they're, they're not slave masters or slave. It's the time they were in. You can't use what we are now to judge people for what they were then. Yeah, it's also stupid because you go, it's like, what were you actually doing? You want to tear down a fucking statue? It's not actually doing anything.

It's symbolism. So why are you guys physically fighting people and being violent over symbolism? Who gives the fuck? You just go rip shit down either. You know, if you want something removed, you go about it the fucking right way. Yeah, but when they go, yeah, like you tell Lewis that he can't use the equipment at the studio and they'll probably just remove himself to be honest. Thank God and it worked out. Fucking piece of shit. Now you have your own network. Are you right? I'm sorry, Bobby. You owe me. piece of shit now you have your own network. I'm sorry Bobby. You owe me.

If I kept you under my wing, you wouldn't have fly. I would have suffocated. I knew there was a fat joke. I was a fat joke. That was a good one. You should give it the bend down for that one. That was really good. I'm kidding.

Keep it. You should have it. What do you? Yeah, I just don't get it. I don't fucking understand. I mean, you're a white, white supremacist. All I know is I can never wear khakis again. No.

Why? Because all these, all these, uh, the racist nerds are wearing khakis in their polo shirts tucked in, which is objectively a great look, but they ruined it forever. Give me the band-in. No, I don't think you, you're, you're trying to be funny. No. Wow. I thought it was reading the opening

to his college dissertation. Webster's dictionary defines podcasting it. You didn't get dissertation out. I don't know. Then I got a couple of minutes. From her. It's not a bomb. I'm kidding.

The ball sex left, we all left. I'll be the left, right? I mean, you're a left wing liberal. You're a lefty. You lean left. Your tit does anyway. Oh. Oh.wing liberal. You're a lefty. You lean left. Your tit does anyway. Oh! Thank you.

Oh, shit. You're a bad guy. No one saved me. No one saved me. That was good. Uh, I'm not for, like, I'm not very political, but I just don't, I don't like that it's mean stuff right now. So if I'm a, being left doesn't want people to be mean

and violent. Well, it's like, when did the fucking left want to be violent. When did they get they come down fucking rip down and hey, we don't like this. We'll fucking light on fire break the windows burn it rip down a statue. Fuck off. Even if it does represent the way the way we used to be,

you can't just fucking do that shit. But I think people are cracking. I think people just don't know how else it like I mean I feel like it's everybody's destroying a fit. It's like a bunch of children doing a tantrum Yeah, nobody gets a fucking real life. Here's a thing. I was on the subway the other day in my fucking I went underground and you don't get service you're not on the internet and I'm like shoulder shoulder with a Muslim and a black and a Jill I'm like oh yeah, roll to New York. That's only New York You're not saying I'm not a Muslim though you go out of an uptick in Luzki, not in that Muslim though.

You go out of the country, you go out of this country and the world is the world. When I was in fucking Belgium on the beach, there was fucking black people, but white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the Belgian chocolate, it was there.

Those were whites that were. It was a fucking, a lady and a full burger in the ocean. Burger. You're an upspirker. You're two eating a burger. Burger. Let us intimate a burger. It's burger burger burger burger burger yeah let us intimate it's my burger burger

burger can the neighbor you know she was covered in sesame seeds did that was pretty good Trump was a big part of the burger movement burger burger Trump was a big part of the Berkler movement. Berkler. Berkler. I love what Joe is doing with this podcast.

It's great. I'm bringing the heat. He's going full. We are out of the city is very segregated. Even Boston. Boston is getting better, but I remember living here for like 10 years, and I would go home not that much. And then I went home for like a month and I was sitting there

I was like, oh my god. This is the widest fucking place in the world Boston is just Blacks live there Irish live there Italians live there, but that's so much of the country Chicago's Chicago's worst than Boston ever dreamed of being but white I can see you don't even see but that's even this neighborhood all these it's little Italy Chinatown I mean that's wrong the train together, but that's more held over you're not gonna have a new Chinatown That's just from when they immigrated here. Yeah, I call it. I was created. It's not like that now But there is like a story is the Greek neighborhood China town is like if you were to be the greatest

New York You know what happened? I can't do that I'm like in like Chicago in LA They have like highways that divide neighborhoods. So people never leave. They never cross over. There's like a little more awful app here.

People are. I don't. Look, here's the thing, right? Try this. Why people? Why people do not want fucking hood rat black people in their fucking neighborhoods? Let's stop pretend. The other young people, Lewis.

The young people like to like showing you the people from Harlem, when you go to a fucking project building, they do not want them in their neighborhood. They're pretending that they want this Kumbaya fucking world. The truth of the matter is, Lewis, what? No one's listening to you.

You did it. Anthony Kumbaya. Literally, your passion is going dead, don't dead ears. I'm listening. I'm listening. I was ears. I'm listening. I'm listening. I was kidding. I'm kidding. You hear that mom, you hear that dad?

My mom and dad are always listening to me. They're my shoulder. She's fine only with her. Love that you put your mom way in the back. Yeah, well, she's a hit me. She did? Yeah. I'm sure my dad did too, but he died before I had memory.

So he's the wagon three year old. Yeah, my memories, they weren't beating you. Where are you from, man? From Connecticut. Newtown, Connecticut. So you're from Connecticut. Now, as a white neighborhood. Yeah, extremely.

Extremely white. And did you have black friends growing up? A couple, but like they were in my house. Do you have Movia House? No. I went to a black friends house one time. with their nine black kids in my high school. Yeah, in order to get the JPs as you had a plan of Climate Beanstalk so the giant didn't let there's a lot wrong with your story Lewis It was so bad. It was funny. I thought it was okay

But you really did grow up a newtown Connecticut. I'm I did not not believe it. I Just trying to go further with it. That's all I'm trying to do interview boys. Thank you Don't worry fighting a more shut the fuck up. I know I'm kidding. You can talk one of you. Um You but you never went over a black person's house as a friend like one I didn't sleep over never no really Tell me about one black friend the acquaintance. If you have one eye open, it's really not sleep. She's... Oh, that's my valuables at home, yeah. But... My best thing.

I actually forgot that I grew up in my school, mostly black in Spanish kids. Yeah. It was probably half and half. I grew up in West Medved. South Medved was Italian. North Medford was Irish. West Medford was a mix. Well, I was just watching Torgas me the other day. You were kind of a black comic then.

I had to come from somewhere. I don't know. Oh, no. I hope yours comes from somewhere someday. I'll take it. I did used to bang stools. You know, I was a nice stool fucker back there. It was great though.

Shut up. Don't fucking. Don't fucking back out of it. We ain't called be loud and yet. With that motherfucker, he got diabetes. Did I talk like that? No, not really. I'm exactly okay.

I remember that joke. That was a good one. That's right. It was a good one until. I remember all Bobby jokes. Until everybody had a pants monster. Do you remember the Pista a good one until I remember all Bobby jokes until everybody had pants monster. Do you remember the Pista Panthers? I remember the you go to, uh, you go to like Fridays and then they give you, uh, they give you two spoons for you and your

girlfriend. It's like, just in case you want to share it. It's like you, you, you like you fucking motherfucker. And then, uh, that's my joke. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah, motherfucker. You don't tell that stuff. I mean, you talk about I actually go like this at the end, at the. Yeah, mother fucker. Yeah, mother fucker. I mean, I used to talk about it. I used to go like this at the end at the very beginning before. There's one video clip of me at the columns in next comedy stop. And I used to, uh, at the end of the joke, goes, That was a punch. There's a video of it. Brought it on ONA. Yeah. I was shredded though. I used to have I used to take flannels and ripped the sleeves off and button them

Yeah, but I was fucking I used to go up and fucking I'd be like fucking Bim bag Pim and they would laugh I'm gonna go to you in a Scally cap. Yeah, the videos out there Robert Patrick Kelly. I have rights Remember those are the guy asked you to park the car because he thought you were a Mexican. You know, my name's Patrick Cully. You know him from my boss and probably back in the day because you were a young comic in Boston. I saw him come through with Dane. I had a sticker in my first notebook and really thought he was a... You had a Bobby Kelly sticker on your phone?

Robert Kelly live.com. You are. Stop. I was right next to a picture of Dane Cook and I got tank top leaning against the door. I can't. Oh, I can't. What a homo. I had tank top leaning against the door. I can't. Oh, yeah. What a homo.

I thought. Bobby Kelly's sticker. I thought and still think. Fucking weird. Holy shit, I'm like, what are you wedding, dude? I'm sorry, Louis. I'm not going either. No, I'm fucking out.

Let's go. I'm going to drink. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I thought and still Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go'm trying to talk. Let us process the fact that you had a Bobby Kelly sticker on your notebook. I loved it. We Yes, I really liked it. I stand by it. Why are you rubbing your fingers on your glasses? What? I was opening them up. We what we are. I was just opening them up, buddy. Um, we um, what was the other joke I had though? You said the piss your pants monster. I Pist the pants. I'm the closet and then you had one of my favorite jokes of all time about When people want a guy bus balls too hard Fat and he goes yeah, I heard your mom sick that was about me. That was the joke was about me But I go there's always that guy who bus balls cuz I did it to Patrice

He was outside and he was like ah you fat motherfucker. I go yeah, aren't you a diabetes? You know Bobby I do And and I did that the call and two Bobby, I do. What the fuck? And, and I did that to Colin too, where he told me his back then, his wife had a miscarriage. Jesus.

Yeah, it was crazy. Everybody was like, oh, this is so bad. And then I was out front and we're just hanging out. He said, yeah, I shit, I miscarried. I go, I know, you told me. I told you what, what? He goes, what the fuck? I go, I was just trying to break the, you know.

Break the ice. Yeah, yeah. You used to have one where you, it was in your half hour. I was really, where I know all your old shit from, you know, break the ice. Yeah. Yeah. You said one where you, it was in your half hour. That was really where I know all your old shift from is where you're talking about how you're like, I'm fat, but you can still see right in here. There's like a little bit of hot guy like right in the lip and nose and eye area. You just fucking make a little hot face.

Yeah, but they used to have a lot of. Lewis is bouncing his new jokes under the guys of being your old joke. Thank you. Nice. For a little bit, Bobby. We, uh, no, I remember that. It was the sad part about that joke is that the reason why they laughed is because they could still see a man

inside of us. And now we're out of our man. Now it wouldn't work anymore. No, just, no, no, look, what do you say? I have to just go here. Yeah. See? Um, it's, well, I don't know where the fuck we went.

We were talking about you and Newport Connecticut being the widest person on the internet. Yeah, I think the issue was every time you asked a question, you asked another question before he started talking and then Lewis started yelling Puerto Rican things. So I really got in anywhere. Because I just, the fact is, is now you're into your city and you're around all these other races.

Are you used to it? Do you not, are you colorblind? No, I mean, half now, as a colorblind is bullshit. But I'm like, we're more comfortable with it. But it's it annoys me when people like from towns like mine are like congratulating themselves for not being racist. And it's like, you've never encountered another culture in your life. Like, you know, get some experience. Yeah. If you've ever hung out with a black, you will be racist. Everybody's fucking racist. I know.

I know. That's the sooner we realize that everyone is a little bit bigger. Did the sooner you realize, okay, cool. And we can co-exist. You can co-exist by like if you don't like the fucking Yankees and you hate Yankees fans, you can still go to work with the fucking Yankees fan. You don't have to punch each other in the fucking face. It's not about a Yankees game every day.

It's a little more than that. I think there's a word for it. It's called tolerance. Yeah, I think it's a little more than a Yankees fan. I think it goes a little further than you know. I think believing in stereotypes, those different than being like racist racist like I mean I waited tables for so many years. So there was definitely times I was like, yeah, nigs don't tip. I don't know. That will, that and not but also like you know like Asian people when they're like just raising all the time. So all the things like what are they doing? What are they raising? They're raising? Like fast and furious. It's like Asian people.

They're all Tokyo drifting around the restaurant. They just drive their car right away. It's L.A. It's L.A. Should I answer it? Yeah. Yeah. Change your life.

Change your life. This is big, big, big home. This is L.A. You're live on my podcast. Is this going to change my life? Who is this? It's Dom, or what are you doing? Oh, hey, Dom. You're live on the YKWD, what's happening?

I was hoping to do a podcast instead of talking to you. Are you in? I've been calling friends all day to see if I was on their podcast. I got to reach you. I wanted to talk about stuff with my credits. I was in Golden Girls, I don you to talk about some of my credits. I was in Golden Girls. I don't know if that still holds up.

Yeah, it definitely holds up with women. Hey, hey Arnold. Hey Arnold. I was earning in Hey Arnold. It does with women and fat men. Women and fat men. Yes. Would you consider me like a uh... stocky

no not be i would say your uh... i would say your uh... golf at golf at but not like uh... yeah no not like me fat that's a visceral fat you're like a delicious kind of that uh... yeah i'm at the fat i am at now i'm almost Santa Claus cute yeah it's adorable but now this podcast is this actually go out or onto the internet or is it just for you and i talking well there's around four or five people

in here right now and as soon as you uh came on the air joe list started checking his phone. Lewis Gomez went on. He's a Gomez. Lewis Gomez. Are you staying at a hotel in Boston? Yes, I am. Where did that? Where did they put you up? I don't know. I didn't get the info yet. I'll call up.

Yeah. They said to me, this is always good for a podcast. They were just going to give us gonna give me an amount of money and then you put your words up up, not to keen on that. Well, I'll find a hotel and I'll tell you which one to stay at. How's that sound? Yeah, would you do that? I don't know what to do. I will, buddy, for you, I do that.

Oh, there's the phone. Hi, buddy, let me call you. Let me call you in a couple of minutes when we're done with this. All right, thanks brother. Darmee, I'll see you later. Darmee, everybody. Legend.

He is a legend that you fucking just disrespected by ringing the bell on him. I was just trying to keep the laughs going. Well, he didn't have a dumb sticker on his notebook in high school. Oh, I got a great Darmee, I'm a rarest guy. You were a fan, too, you were a fan, right? Wait, I just realized we're not in a store.

We missed the whole biggest point of this all. You had fucking Bobby Kelly stickers when he was in high school. I mean, that's awesome. The head Robert Kelly live stickers back then. That's pretty cool. Fuck you. I was a hustler before you. I'm a hustler, baby. You're really worthy. That was a thing. You were one of the reasons why I stopped caring about like writing jokes.

And I was like, I could just fucking hustle. I didn't know who you were until last year. Yeah, I wish. I wish you would go back to writing jokes and I was like I could just fucking hustle. I didn't know. I wish you were in cell last year. Yeah, I wish I wish you would go back to writing jokes though. What are you gonna do? Are you still doing comedy? Oh kidding. I know I heard there was a buzz about you last week. Oh, it was the buzz. The buzz stayed this the place you were. You almost got arrested for reaping a chicken I can't wait for that buzz

Anyways, yes, I had a stickers Head stickers who is your merch guy? Huh, I forget who he was probably murk pump. I think he died Oh, he fucking died. It was a young guy. It was very sad. He fucking had a heart attack He's only like 32. Just grabbed his chest one day. I got all my shirts out though. That would have fucking been a nightmare. Speaking of fucking shirts, we all started out with how I was supposed to compliment by busting balls a little bit and then he got serious. We're not doing that anymore.

Guys, your best friend. We're cool now. We're cool now. We're not doing that anymore. You guys are best friends now. We're cool in that. We're cool now. Totally. I don't think it lasts the whole podcast, but I'll let you. Yeah, why are you gonna fucking do that? Yeah, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy fucking assholes. You expect us to fight. We're gonna fight before trying to have positive energy

made friends. Yeah, I got one of those, you know what, if you directed anger at me, and maybe it won't happen as much. Well, you can get one of these, you know what, do T shirts. Can you? They look kind of like my list of mania shirts.

Remember those ones? Yeah, you were ones yeah I gave you the money for I wrote you the check and I made you take it so you'd never fucking bring it up again first of all you're getting a little defensive sorry sorry you have a I like to put a yom shut up what's the check My Lord Come by Come by my Lord come by That's what Lawrence pussy says before day fucks her Relax, we got a way deeper voice Oh Slowly What's up?

So yeah, I gave you what money? What't a check. I gave what was it? I don't I don't remember it at all I gave you the money. Okay, I'll call my wife right now because my wife was just give him the money Stop not giving him the money Jesus Christ I have to listen to him bitch anymore about a basically fuck basically that's what it was we open our life to this guy Inviting everybody holiday Basically, that's what it was. We open our life to this guy, inviting everybody. Holiday, and we're gonna ask for anything, don't bring anything, give him career,

come sort of as podcasts. You know, anything wants you to go on the road a bunch, give him access to a bunch of 5,000s of fans. Yeah, man, he never, marry him for free, but man. Never took me on the road, didn't help me start my podcast. And plenty of holidays, plenty of holidays I was not invited.

I thought he opened up for you. I opened up for him begrudgingly. He called everyone to be like, I can not, I can fire this guy, right? And they're like, we talking about he's great. And then Bobby's like, I don't even like him. He did open up for me in Boston the first time any fucking murdered. But, Lou. Oh, it wasn't Boston. You already know what you're talking about. The Wilbur Theater. You're gonna know what you're talking about. You're gonna have this guy. You're so foolish, kid. You're talking about this guy In Boston I call up fucking is not even true. Oh, I

Started and I find out Nick the Paula likes guys who aren't funny in You know what you're talking about he goes up with the fucking he has a high like a typical Boston comic has a Guinness Every single thing is in correct goes up on the beer he He's fine. Hey, hey, hey, I lived here for five years for the Wilbur Even was a comedy venue. I never opened for you in Boston ever I don't be for the first time at Caroline's that's where we met and I won't for you And that's when you called Nick and he would say yeah, he's my son and then You know you got this revisionist history that I stuck boy. You really sucked I had credit sorry when I was well but theater you open that was after what you're talking about body He did you mom he did not do I've never

I've never bought listen to me Lewis look at me. I did not do good. I Well, I was taught I was told the neck. This is the next day. You're talking about Caroline's you fuck face. That was Caroline's hey, isn't it weird that me and Lewis are getting along and now Joe's We're in fucking uppity. You know, it's funny. Well, we always thought we were the problem But maybe Joe list was the common denominator. I think he is the common denominator Joe's the common denominator Joe the common denominator Well, are you Google denominator for Robert real quick? I know what denominator means was it me the best Did not what is that reference to terminator? Very Everyone was gonna kind of move on Joe

Move on from that. I hope no one moves on me like a bitch. Remember, Trump, he stinks, huh? Oh God. I'll tell you the real comedians are in Washington. I was giving it to Joe. I just hadn't gotten off the mic. I didn't have.

This is one of those shows where it's just, it's gonna be so bad that it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Anyways, it's great. Anyways back, I didn't even open view of the Wilbur. That never even happened. I literally never open view of the Wilbur. You don't know what you're talking about. You did open from it the Wilbur because I remember you opening up from the Wilbur at one time. They did. Thank you. I think you and Dan both. No, we did a thing on Long Island together. We'll go back in history and find out that you opened for me at the Wilbur and you'll

have to apologize. You opened for me at the Wilbur and they said, you're gonna go back in history? Yeah, I can maybe, I did history machine. Maybe I opened for the Wilbur. You wouldn't go back and fucking maybe kill Hitler or like, no, I want to go find out this. I'm just gonna find out. At one time to go back, you're gonna find out the answer to this question.

It's Joe was doing pretty good at carolins. Pretty good. Carolins. It was carolins for you. It was not, I don't, I was looking. You know for a fact that's where it happened. It was bad. I remember going out and I was like,

I think I said sorry. It's very old. That's just like you to kind of sell out another comic like that. Fuck someone over like that. Oh really? I remember that. I remember you did that. Oh really? I remember that. I remember you did that.

You did do that. Yeah, that's what he did. That's the kind of guy here. I had a tough set. I'll look at it. I had a tough set. And as comrades, he went up and just went, what a fat loser that was.

That's the kind of guy. I should be you. Look who got caught in his lie. Now you're a jerk in your own lie Girl I was guidelines. I did fun. I protect my fans here. I got a man from that club. It was great Yeah, he doesn't work. I didn't do it. He did it If you ever done that have you ever been in a situation where you had to do that work the opener Did so bad that you had to address it to separate yourself now really?

No, I saw a host get pulled from a show one time and no I got pulled placed that you had to address it to separate yourself. No. Really? No. So I saw a host get pulled from a show one time and no. I got pulled. I got pulled from a show. Is it a middle of a show? Yeah. Oh, that was when the Wilbur were together. No, he's been.

They had me close. Really? They fired you. Right. I actually had a lady grab the mic out of my hand. It's just quietly walk up behind me and when I went, ah, yeah. She took the mic out and thanks everybody. Robert. I was like, ah. yeah, um, she took the mic out. When thanks everybody. Robert.

I was like, uh, that must have been pretty sticker days. You saw the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I don't know who was it. I honestly don't know. It was like some bringer that I did at Eastville a couple years ago. I saw them turn a mic off on a guy one time, not in LA where there was like this, like it was like a bar show but he had packed it out and he just started and he thought somebody said something about him. And so he went in on the person and within like, and he was supposed to be the headliner.

And within like two minutes, they pulled the mics who was just on stage screaming and everybody was booing him. They just started like music. They pulled the mics on Pablo Francisco just a video of that episode a few weeks ago. Well, he was fine. They turned the mic off. They pulled the mic off. They pulled the mic off. They pulled the mic off. They pulled the mics, who was just on stage screaming and everybody was booing him, they just started like music. They pulled the mics on Pablo Francisco, just video that episode a few weeks ago.

Well, he was fun. They turned the lights on and turned them off and he still just yapping on the fucking stage. Oh, it's hilarious. I think that was sad. I don't know, whatever. Buddy, that was sad. That was sad to see somebody.

He's so funny. Who's very funny guy, but he's a mess. That drugs are, drugs are taking a lot of fucking people away from us And they're continuing to take people away from us. Hopefully they take a little Not the drugs he does They're gonna fucking just keep him around for a while, right? Yeah, um Well, they have to like literally like Drive to his out like bring him physically in the car and physically walk him into the club

So they've been back up headliners. I just don't know what did you say they have back up head liners Where he's a town that's what they do at the Wilbur also they get someone I saw that going after they apologize for him Yeah, you did it just you were at the Wilbur you open for me Maybe but you know for a fact that Caroline just the first time and you claim It's okay You open for me and you didn't do as good as you did. Now you're one of the best comedians out there. For sure.

Right now. You appreciate it. You're probably one of the best comics out there. In the room. For sure. Yeah. But back then, buddy, there was so much hype around you and it was all hype.

It was a balloon and the air went out. You're a balloon. This is the terrible podcast. It's just a little bit. That was great. It was a balloon and the air went out you're a balloon You're a balloon kid little more Boston came out You so you you know that for are you just I've heard that from multiple people working But like I don't mean to talk shit about it works for them. Oh, Florida people right? I opened up for him. Yeah, twice what half Pablo? We've a lot of people's bad as the N word, by the way. He was fucking hollered at people. He's very funny. Kills, but he was doing like the same thing. Like he does the same act

for like a long time. I don't get. Here's the way that I feel better. Okay. You know, I don't really know. Papa Francisco. I'm not like friends with him like that. He's a sad ass. Excellent. Anunciation. He's a celebrity. I don't know. I don't know if I just be for gaming. I used to have to work out better. Everybody gets paid spank celebrity. I don't know if I'm just a I don't know if I just be for me. I used to have to work out better Everybody gets paid skank fest. I was getting paid $25 What the fuck you got 25 It was 40 this last year. I got 40 this year. I get Lewis makes 10 million dollars off that fucking thing I also do it's not true actually we lost money shut up. I know I thought we're gonna make money

But we lost a little bit stop fucking stop all the blowing just stick to what you know I know I fucking asking everybody why you lost coming. No, but it's a good though. No, it's good to be honest It's worth it investment. We didn't lose enough money that it wasn't worth it. All right. We would just dump you So no, but the point is he's like a celebrity basically I don't do I feel bad for a guy that's fucking pumping drugs into his body and fucking rich and talking in a microphone First of all talking about Pablo Pablo is not a celebrity. I mean for for the Well for the sake of this story. He's a celebrity. You know, he's done very well. I'm gonna talk a shit about fucking Jim Norton Who's like a you know a friend or you know people that we know, this somebody who's not like connected to us.

I don't feel bad. I mean, it's a dude who got fucked up and it's kind of hilarious that he had an episode on stage and fell off. He fell off stage and just smashed his head on the side of the stage. It's not, it's not fun. It's a video. Pull it up. It's great.

I don't think that's for a lot of it. Lauren, can you pull that up, Baba? This is nothing. Then we already watch it. We already watched it. Yeah. Watch it on your own. Thanks. You know what? I'll talk about it.

You know what? I saw the video and it was sad, but then at the same time, I was like, I would love to headline a club. That'd be great. I love to get to that level where I'm getting pulled off. I never heard of this sort of modern element, bro. Yeah. Just watching.

So funny, though, like I do these clubs and I worry, like I want to kill so bad that they have to bring me back. Do you know what I mean? And this guy literally could just do drugs and they'll bring them back. They'll just have nine extra headliners. Someone will drive him to and from the he's so good and they love him so much that they'll do everything possible just to get him to the club. Me.

Well, no, I'm sorry on how good he is. The commentary how stupid people are. I watch him kill in a levity live and I was watching 400 people lose their minds for Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. I've heard him in his opener had a hack Arnold Schwarzenegger impression off to close out the whole thing. Not even exaggerating. That's what they did.

They both did Arnold impressions as a dueling Arnold impressions. He's like just doing the greatest hits to me. And you're like watching this, you're going like, this is literally the worst thing in the world. Like the worst type of comedy you could possibly imagine and I'm watching these people lose their shits and I'm going, cool. Like it's their fault.

It's not fucking, it's not that he's that good. People are idiots and actually deinspires me from doing comedy. Deans vibes. Is that what happened? Is that good? You blame me, blah blah, guy, for your shitty comedy career. Every time it's funny.

Look, I don't give a fuck who, you know, look comedy is subjectable, whatever you like you, what is it gonna give a subjectible? Subjective. Subjectible. Subjectible to getting de-inspired. It's very, yeah. Sometimes we do good, we do goodly comedy.

Listen, it's the last comic denominator. There should be the last podcast we ever do. Anybody in this room, we should shut it down. $135. That's my guy. It's gone down. There's 152 really. Look at his eyes lit up.

I got that on me. I don't know, man. Right now. I'm making it even 200 right now. Right. Can I just say something real quick, though? You did have these shirts. Gas digital is, you know, you went from a small network, couple podcasts out of your house.

Now you're getting a studio, you get a bunch of shows, really good shows. 14 shows now. 14 great shows. 14 great shows, really good show. Well, two of suck, but there's mostly they're good. Mostly. I like leading the skanks. And have. And you got now you're getting into the merchant. Into the merch side, we're trying to

you bag of stuff. Yeah, well, you Lewis called me up and and we talked a little bit. And then you know, I got busy, he got busy, whatever happened. And I called you up, I was like, listen, this is the deal. This is where we left off. What do you do? And we had this logo that a fan made, because we had that we have a bunch of logos that fans made, right, law? Yeah, we had a great, what is a ductive right now? It's hard to tell the lay on this couch.

What are you fucking 10? You know, hard is just don't do. She's a seven. Seven. She's a Jersey seven. I'm a hard Jersey Five. We had a bunch of fans submit a lot of great artwork, but this was the one that we like the best. Well, this is one of them. We like the lot of them. We like most of the great.

This is the one we like the best. And I sent it over to you and you had a bunch of stuff made up. You had the mug. The mug, which is right here. Yeah. Mug stands up. And here's a great thing about this is that you have this merch that you order today and it comes to you. Well, it'll come. Well,

we I got this for you. I think you asked for it on a Tuesday and I sent you a picture of the next day that we got it done. So we get a ship three to five days. Yeah, three to five days. It'll ship out. It's crazy. Yeah. like that logo would look cool on like a A mug or a t-shirt or a hoodie like the t-shirt like the old kind like 70s where it's got like just like a thin like a red Line here in a red line on that Red line the old baseball shirt. Yeah, kind of like an old baseball and that like full red sleeve just like the thin lining Like what is this fucking KVC? I'm just for the ladies give him like a old like

I brought you show. Put ease in church. Can you count more? Can you bring school? It'd be cool. I love free. I brought you a couple of things in there for her too. I got I got a run boys.

I can take it off. Thank you. I love everyone. All right. I see tonight. Roast Masters. Guys, if you want to come for your listen live, I think there's like ten tickets left. Free tickets.

Use the promo code RAP. Should we ask what we're going to do next? Yeah, I I thought we would but before Lewis Lee is before you take off real quick We're working on this next year for the fans. Yeah, and this is for the fans of Comedy podcasting New York comedy podcast. I think well, I would say New York or East Coast. Yeah We're working on like back in the day, they had a battle, the network stars, we have battle of the podcast stars.

Right, and it's gonna be ride cast versus compound media versus cast digital. That's right, maybe at a fourth, just to even it up. Stand up labs gets a buy. We're in the second round already. Well, I don't know what's coming. I don't know what's really a podcast. I don't know what they are. But we might really a podcast. I don't know what they are.

But we might get- I think it's a place that Reese Wars records their show. Maybe Death Squad if they want to make a flight. Maybe we do something like that. It's not fair to Anthony Cumie though. He's got a bunch of old men. What are they gonna do? I'm not gonna be able to battle.

We're not gonna fucking play tackle football. It's scary way of the back. I'm scared. What is the battle? We're gonna be doing tug of war. And a tug of war, do you think anything could cool me, I can beat the entire network by myself. And I get a tug of war. So then they're gonna be out for a second.

So that's fun. There's a thing you guys, guys, and I'll tell you this, Lou, surprise, surprise. One of the events, I get you. Make any, any, you, anything you want, you fuck. You are, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're not sorry. This how dumb you are, you fucking Puerto Rican rattlesnake. No, I, I get you.

Meaning you go, you switch teams for one, for one event. One event because you were here first, you're part of riot cast. Yeah, you are. Yeah, I'm out. The art gas digital is out of the whole thing.

No, I get 50% vote. Gas digital, gas digital, and Riot cast already agreed to it. No, 30%. You guys are physical things. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool.

It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very cool. It's gonna be very race. That's just our Dix. We pull our Dix out. We'll still be doing it by ourselves. We're going to get, I think, Auri or someone to get the skinny mic and the mustard jacket to commentate. We're going to be, we're going to, we don't, we don't, we have a park. We have a park.

It might be on an island. Thank you, stadium. It might be, it's going to be a park. We're going to have food. We're going to have a fence. We know. I thought we have a constant podcast going on for fans. And we're going to videotape it all first bet

We might get a live a band to play. Yeah, it's gonna be Pearl jam Good to roses. I told you not to say nothing. Mm-hmm. It's gonna be an all day event It's gonna be a Sunday. It's gonna be a Uniforms. Can I have a key? Oh, we're all ahead of you For that coming back to that is that these guys have this new merch thing that they're adding to Their network and and we're gonna want to check it out Yeah, and I think they did great work. We just

They show me the so you can take off little you got to go merch pump.com is a website that if you want to get t-shirts or Merch for any of the podcasts that we work with and now we're branching out and not just guess there's a little but Tuesday's But stories has all their merch on our site I can't take right cash for the mug the new Tuesday. We got a new mug. Yeah, great stuff. All right, let's can we get a shot of that? Look at that. I'll see you later. Lou. Lou, so I see tonight. So I fired from judging. I want to judge again someday. All right. Wait a minute. What about me? Can you take my place? No. I think it is like three or four shirts and three for hoodies.

And the zip one is yours. All right. Great. Let me see that. Let me see that Let me see that you go It's a big bag of stuff there for you. How great is that? It's on the sleeve. Oh wow look at that. That's nice. Huh? Yeah, nice stuff, right? Love it. Love it These are all the gift to you that are sweet in the deal and all right And then we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna put these up on the thing. Yeah, when as soon as you're ready So you can go ahead. We'll get it done ASAP well. All right. We're gonna we're gonna put these up on the thing. Yeah, when as soon as you're ready, you can go ahead, we'll get it done ASAP. Well, all right, we're gonna put this number right now.

YKWDSASAP. 917-2616831. If you love this hoodie, if you love these shirts, if you love this logo, call up right now. Hang on, I'll just say I get to buy. Or you're giving out Lucy's phone number. You know, my wife, once for my wife, it might be the white one.

If I get this as a wedding gift, it's your ass. What? The white one be the white one if I get this is a wedding gift It's your ass. What? Yeah, well my wife might be a black one in there too my wrong. I think she want one of the white one Is it two white ones? That's a zip that's a zippy for him. That's me. That's me Is it two whiteies? That's a white one right there and there's a by any of those about That's a white one right there and there's a black I knew there's a black Nice There's a couple that are all sent on the on the we got a lot of stuff Bobby says it on the tip and the others are on a in center all right

So let's while we're doing this ad here you can continue to look at Lauren Maybe try one of those on Lauren take your shirt off and put that on on camera come on have some I'm gonna say this I think the yellow one looks really cool. I actually it looks good on you. I took it I took this one because I liked it And this is the only read we have today, right? I'll leave the mug here Someone could wash it. You won't have my herbs. I checked this out. We need to bring this up that website up Can you bring this website up sweetie on the deep discount before we do the read Joe list is back in Action, that's a bit of fun podcast

Really fun You know Lewis is very controversial me and him really do but I hate that I've already goes in action. That's a bit of fun podcast. Really fun. You know Lewis is very controversial, me and him really do, but I hate that everybody goes, you're about the same, we're not. You're pretty close. You're an extreme. Shut up.

Shut up. We're not close. I am that, who would you pick? Him or me? Yeah. Pick in one and one. And what? Just hang out to go to dinner with

and have like spend a weekend with. Yeah. And what capacity? Up in the hamper a new Hampshire I go with you I want to do with around an act of that that link on the top page, dear, please Yeah, anyways Deep discount I'm gonna read this real quick deep discount calm is Is one of the sponsors of a show.

And Lauren's gonna go to that, bring up that page right there. Where is it, Laura? I really, I did use these guys. Because when we first got this, I was like, wait a minute, everything's digital now. Everything's digital, not everything's digital. And sometimes you go places and you don't have Wi-Fi. You didn't download fucking under the computer space or the hard drive. You can actually just bring a bunch

of DVDs. I still buy DVDs. I'm telling you right now. It still sell very well. Blu-ray still. Where's that page? That link right there. Click on that link.

Yeah, that's right here. Where is it? Is it just one page? Oh really. Can you read the top of that? And what does it say? See the link underneath the Roberts choice? Go to that page.

The Roberts choice. Not that page. Go to the Roberts choice. Go to that page. The Roberts choice, not that page. Go to the Roberts choice page. Read that. No, see the note where it says no. Yes. All right, please read that. And then click on that link right there.

Yes. Because I got a bunch of things I want to talk about. I picked a bunch of DVDs that I picked off. Every week when they send me these things, I get to pick a bunch of stuff. And they send you a bunch of stuff? I buy it. Oh, okay, Look at them.

Because it's deeply discounted. Right. It's a good title for the play. It's actually, it's a great title for the place. Everything is really deeply discounted. Here we go right here. Now, I'll tell you, scroll down, sweetie. That's all.

Okay, read here. I'm a nerd. Star Trek Voyager. I got it. Love it. You see, I like all the old Star Trek TV shows because I'm a dweeb and I really get it. Next generation was my favorite though.

It's a soap opera, right? Next generation was good. I got this because I wanted to see if I could be into it. And I'm gonna bring it with me on the road and I'm gonna watch it, you know, I'm gonna binge watch it late at night because I can't get whores, eat pizza or carbohydrates or sugars

or smoke crack or do math or drink alcohol or some trannies. So you're just going to turn to the moon. The only thing left is to watch Star Trek Voyager. Yeah, so I'm going to do what drug addicts and trannies do. I'm going to watch Voyager. Enterprise was also good when they brought back Enterprise. Rags to riches. What is that?

Oh my God. That was I grew up. That was a show that came out like in the like probably like late 80s about all these kids. I think they were orphans and then they lived with, but I don't know. I used to tape it on the TV and my mom tape. Well, let's read that. Go back. You right, Lauren. Yeah. Let's read that. What a, let's read the description of never heard of breakthrough to riches. Read the description.

Lauren, it's about the real last dude. Louis Gomez. Look at the butt, Lerga. How funny. Makes to riches. Never heard of it. Does your description? No, come on. This got I just remember my mom taped over. I know that name Jim Barney does a description right on it's really No, there's not really Right. I'm wrong. See I see Lewis was just called you content That's like one of those shows I never thought I would ever see your

I would never do that. I know you wouldn't that's why I'm right so rich is right there before Glee there was TV there was there was Rags the riches. One million. Fucking dummy. I'm you. Not you. The guy's name is Joey. Don't. One million are Nick Folly. Learn. You know, Joseph Lone.

Yeah. Playboy image could impede a highly profitable company merger. He's trying to negotiate. He dubs five orphan girls. Oh my God. Now bachelor neck must struggle between his time Consuming business commitments and the girls need for a real father. Yeah, and the girls are a mess and he brings all these rich parties It's a great time. Go to hardy boy. That was a fucking hardy boys. What's a LF season one? He actually played out

That's makeup that wasn wasn't the thing. Those are his original team. Come on. That was pretty good. I got one out of him. The hearty boys. Now, which here's the thing. I always thought the right hearty boy, which is, uh, is it David Cassidy?

That's the Cassidy. Cassidy. I'll meet you halfway. Okay, wait a minute. And Parker Stevenson, right? I think was at it. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. David Cassidy Cassidy on me to halfway. Okay, wait a minute and Parker Stevenson, right? I think was it hang on one second hang on one second David Cassidy is who? Which one the Patrick family? Okay, go back I think I love it on Cassidy who Sean cast go back to the thing Sean Cassidy's every kid

You went to high school back to that right? Yeah, but they're not related Cassidy's where they are They have to be related Sean Cassidy click on him. I want to see him for a second He I don't think he's that good looking. Oh I remember him Stop right there click on that the Sun no the top where you were right there You don't think that's a bad photo. He doesn't have a little down syndrome. That's a bad photo. He's not a fucking ellipse syndrome. That's a bad. Some guys have. I'm the fuck in the Olympics. I like a downy. I work at the Spaniard. Thank you. Lauren.

He looks tiny and we all know tall guys are objectively better looking. I could not agree more. Sometimes down he's okay. Channing Tatum's downy. Channing Tatum's got a wonky. Go back. Go back. Channing Tatum. Tipe him in. Chanting Tatum and I ball. Trying to find funny. Okay. Through the downy people.

Look how downey he is. I don't think he is at all. He's just smoky. He's smoky. These are actually pretty good. There's a difference between smoky and downey. Yeah, Downey is his eyes are smoky. You know who's Downey?

Remember the guy he was fucking hot? The guy that played quirky Thatcher in life goes on. He was actually, is that right? I thought he was just a great actor. I love this bit. I love it. It's a fun bit. actually, is that right? I thought he was just a great actor. I love this bit. I love it. It's a fun bit. I named an actual retard. I said the end word earlier. Let's go back to the side. He abbreviated this. He did. That was nice of him. I would like to get the hearty book. So anyways, I got the the Voyager and I would I think I might go back and get the

Enterprise Star Trek Enterprise is one of the only good ones of the ladder season I was the one before it's with the one with a yeah, that's it. That's the one with the worst Fucking song to those are the song was horrible. Can you play the song please Star Trek Enterprise theme song? It's the worst song ever written for a television. It was a good, it was something like, what's his name? Oh, Jesus Christ. The Michael Bolton was saying,

it's what it sounds like. Listen to this, this is just the worst. This is the only one that ever had singing in it. Listen, turn it up. You stop it, stop it, stop it. You can't play it, let's just stop it. Turn it up. We make much better theme music as a group.

Turn it up. Go ahead. This is it. Hell is so bad. This is Star Trek. That's how it works. It's weird. It's straight from the heart.

So glad I grew up cool. I didn't have to watch this show. I will touch the sky. And when I come home, I feel it, though. It's my mind. Scott Hacula of the heart. No, no, no, no. The heart will take me faith to believe. Joe, if you guys don't have a wedding photo. I can do. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and it's star Where's Spaggafee?

Yeah, I got faith Hey It's the worst but it was the only good pro series after next generation really my god. It's the worst Fucking theme song. It's got back. It was cool. Seven of nine was in that one, she's hot. DeepDiscount.com. Let's talk about deepDiscount.com. Let's turn that down a little bit. A website loaded with CDs,

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slash Robert Kelly. Deep discount eliminates the need to spend the night searching for something to watch a Netflix. Who had a great show? Oh, actually, was it Verzy? I think had a great joke about that. You go on Netflix and there's everything in the world to watch and you watch nothing. Yeah, it's overwhelming.

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great site, especially when you're on the road. I use that stuff We're like a nice hot blue Roy Also, I don't think Netflix does a lot of 4k so you can buy 4k and you can't buy 4k Yeah, big difference big fucking difference. Anyways, we're back Yeah, a lot of crazy shit. Here's the thing You know I watch these podcasts and I listen to a lot of stuff and everybody has These topics and stuff and I work kind of all over the place today But then you sit there and you go don't you have enough? Like to worry about your own fucking day

Then to to to to worry about the world Not only that one seven different shows are all talking about the same thing You don't have to be talking about the same thing. Yeah, I mean look man. What happened down there's crazy But it's happening every fucking day every day But there's a at my phone all day Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Fuck me You know and now at the clubs it's getting to the point where you say something Oh, I'm like do you realize I'm fucking joking a baby didn't just die

I almost just got fired for making a joke on Facebook when What's the name died? The guy from Lincoln Park and I host a rock event every year called Shiprocked and they got so insulted by it that they were going to take me off the festival for one joke. Look man, when you do a, when you're in a corporate thing like that, yeah, you can't you do when you think you can't. I didn't do it on, I didn't post it on their wall. I just posted it on the, But you're under their banner. Yeah. It's like when you do a college. If I was a college comic and then I went and did a podcast

of, you know, just smashing women and stuff, they're going to go, you know, go fuck yourself. Yeah. And I got, if I'm going to take that hit, you are, if I want to do colleges and make all that kind of money, shut your face. Yeah. And, you know, cruise ship same shit. You kind of got to keep keep your track shot on social media. Yeah. But it is crazy that they say like, you know, with all the stuff going on, everyone's like, oh, we need comedians more than ever now. But then they won't let us say they don't really mean that. They don't mean that. No, they it doesn't matter. They mean that. But it's like, doesn't matter. I had a club manager tell me not to talk about politics before I went on stage. It's great. Badam on the street.

In New York City. Yeah. I won't say who. But. Okay. We can all get. Wow. We sort of fucking coward.

People like you. How are we going to change? I'm still on the bridges. I'm not trying to burn them. Look, man, I understand what you're saying because you want to still get work at that club because you're still on the rise up. But it bought how much it it bother you that that person? Like, don't tell a comedian not to talk about anything.

I'm not the club owner, talk to him like that. Fuck you up, Bobby. I love his piss and vinegar right now. Do you get that political? Not really, I'll do a couple of dumb jokes about politics, but I'm not gonna be up there telling the truth, sitting on the stool. What was, what club owner would say that?

Did they have a problem? I don't think he even works in comedy anymore actually. Never mind, more. So it wasn't the club. So it was Lewis? So it wasn't a club owner, it was the manager. And they said don't do that because did they have a problem before you?

No, they said like, oh, this crowd's kind of rich, they're not gonna like it if you talk about Trump. So he was just giving you advice. So he has no idea what he's doing. Yeah. There's something about doing what you're doing and what gas digital is doing to try and give comics the power to make money on their own in a podcast

through something else where they don't need to listen to a club owner telling them what to do because they have their own revenue stream on their own. Well, I was telling somebody the other day we were walking to the street and where was aversi's thing and there was all these fans coming up, Hey Bobby, can I get a photo? And I was like, somebody was like, doesn't that bug you? Don't you find it? I go, absolutely not. I go, no, I, because I didn't, I wasn't given my fan base.

You know, I think me and all of us had a fucking scratch and crawl and turn over rocks to find fans. You know what I mean? We have to collect, as we go because of what we're doing and how we're doing it, we have to, we can't just, you know, no one's just saying here, here's a whole bunch of people that are gonna fucking love you. Exactly.

We have to build this fucking thing. We built this city. Tch. I'm gonna be too scared. Play the jokes. The Star Trek thing again, as a good song for that. Can you have that on cue? Oh, no. Breathe over.

But what we're doing is we're building up a fan base that will hopefully follow us around, sell out fucking theaters and clubs, so we don't have to fucking deal. Because when you're in front of your fans, you can say whatever you want, because they understand it. But when you're in front of your fans, you can say whatever you want because they understand it But when you're in front of a group of people in this half the rooms your fans the other half were given tickets because they had a fucking birthday that week You know what I mean? And now you're sitting you're gonna offend them. They're not they don't they don't it's not their fault They just would have never came to see you anyways. It's a little their fault. Why?

Because they're fucking cunts. They went to a comedy club. My mic is real hot little their fault why because they're fucking cuts they went to a comedy club my mic is real hot hot I was your fucking face thank you yeah you like that a complimented you yeah no one's ever said it though I don't know I think you're what

thanks Lauren you're gonna be hot I'm gonna have to know about nine hours if you want to get her piece ha ha ha ha ha ha ha get a quick herp listen yes I don't think they're I mean look you how do you blame somebody? They've got free tickets to one through a comedy show That's what you know what I like when clubs do when they put rated R show on my thing or even I would one time they did rated X and I was a good fucking do it

Yeah, let me put your dick out this. I want them to expect Yeah, like I'm to come out of my asshole. And then when it doesn't, and they're like, oh, it almost, that's like the nasty show thing they do in Montreal. They call it the nasty show, but it's just us doing our jokes. Right. I think it's smarter that way, because then there's no excuse that they're offended. They're idiots.

XXX. Exactly. Your fault. You knew that it was going to be a nasty show. And there you go. If you get offended, you're fucking idiot. Exactly your fault. You knew that it was gonna be a nasty show. And there you go. If you get offended, you're fucking idiot. Come in there.

But it also does put somebody in the psychological right frame of mind to hear nasty shit. I mean, I also, I'm sure you get it all the time with your podcast because we get it all the time where people were offended by something. Never. Never. We get it all the time.

I don't fucking get that shit. I ignore that shit. We, you know, with a podcast, it's so easy. Just stop listening, you know, that's the easiest answer. And they want people love being infuriated. People love being mad and they love to let you know about it. And it's just like, what the fuck is your problem? People love to get shit stopped.

Right. People love to get people fired. Do your Casper mattresses, please stop sponsoring this offensive podcast. That happens all the fucking time. It's crazy. People think that they matter and nobody fucking matters. It's the hey look at me generation that are in right now

that I matter as well. JP you matter. Yeah, you guys matter. But there's fans that will literally do that just to fuck with you. Of course. They can come on and they'll be like, they'll panic. Yeah, of course. Because it's like maybe one to people and it's the same person.

Yeah. And they start to panic. Years ago, I had a nationally syndicated radio show for 20 years. And they were these people that decided that I was too offensive for them. They wanted me off the air, and they started. The fan base. They started barraging the station to get me off the air.

And I have a tech background, so I just looked at the emails, and they came like, there's's 500 emails that came from three people It was the same IP address from the three it was three people just with different email address Yeah, but they do that now and people don't know that oh shit. There's the same dumb fucking I have this idiot that he tweets at me. He just gets different Twitter accounts all the time and he He'll email me once in a while. Oh, she, I don't know what they are. And they're just, I know it's them.

They don't think I know it's them, but I do. And I just fuck with them back. And then goodbye, fuck you. And then just scummy people, man. When I first started to get into this world with Legion of Skanks and all those people that I wasn't in that world at all. Hell that have been. They would get these these tweets to me all the time about problems on the network. And I would always give these normal answers until I started realizing,

oh, it's the same five idiots that are just trying to cause problems. That's just trying to find. But you know, and they also think they're funny because they don't understand the difference between being like funny mean comedian and they just call them out on like a WD. Oh, really? Yeah. Earlier today, he left early. We talked about that one. No, I don't case he wasn't that case. He was trying to defend something. He was trying to defend something that he thought I did wrong. And then I brought him on and we worked it out. But they're they I understand we're saying yeah But he did admit to just trying to get me pissed off with what he was doing

You and I taught when I had a dinner at your house like a year or two ago Yes, we talked about doing that choke hold like I think we called a troll tracer where we went That'd be great. We went to go find the people that were bouncing it on the clock It's been three years. I think it's okay to get away with it now. I did I've been busy We can write it now you talk. What did you do? I started an network. I got busy. I mean, yeah, I want to be busy in a Burger King bathroom. I still think by the way, it is a great idea. Let's do it. Let's do it. I don't do it. Okay. Just go find and you bring the person You find them you find the person that you find the person

that they're bitching about and you go with them to the person. We need. Here's what we need. Like a reverse catfish. I need a fucking high-end nerd hacker. Yeah. We need a big mother fucker or a medium sized mother fucker that can kill a big mother fucker. Right. I have the guy that could kill anybody. Okay. We got him. Oh Dante. No, no, I know somebody. Okay, you know Dante's on tug of war for battle the podcast stars. Oh, who's Network, okay, you get him. We have some bad knees though. Top show. I think you're on I you're on my show. You're on my side too. I can tell baby. You're on what show is beyond that he gets to get

this. every week. Dude, original, original members. I remember that's anyone original members. Right. Dude, he's a rag. It should be current members. It's my show. Soda Joe us.

Who's days is on a different network? Dude, he's ragged. We have to give this. Lewis, Lewis is on your network. Lewis Soda Joe and Joey Roses. Rags. I can do it. People will think I'm Joe. It I'm gonna be on your team.

I'm gonna have to, we have about this. Like you do. Joe, if he was on a fucking Jersey too. Like you do of Wadir in a for court. You're stuck for Joe. Sorry, I'm sorry, but you get your radio voice

that got fucking shit off in that a show. Just really overpowers everybody. Yeah, I'm sorry. Okay, what is that? But you know what, Wadir is where you get to choose a jury. And you get to say yes or no to certain people.

Yes. I think all three members should have the right to do that What do you mean when we put together our teams? So you could say someone that doesn't belong on a team on our team and I could say the same about your team Which we each get like two or three yeses or no, but I'm not just some guest in the show. I carry the shot for years I'd like to deny that. I mean, stand up wise. Just came into your own podcast. You were good out of the gate. Apparently you were terrible. The comic I felt long ago from when I didn't stand here. Why do you feel sick? I don't. I got a bellyache. I think

of me just maybe I had some bad chicken. You get married in three days. Tomorrow morning, really. Are you guys going to a city hall tomorrow? No. you already did Bobby's marrying us. Did you actually get ordained? Yeah, no you did not And he's damed I was I remember you got a somewhat some club promoter gave us a Vespa with a sufi on it and I wanted it Was it can I have that he goes now? Thank God. You know you're right around the city with a suit. on it and I wanted it. I was like, can I have that? He goes, no. Thank God. You know, you're right around the state with a Su. You guys would fuck it for rocks at me.

I'm gonna be fucked. I would laugh so hard. If you sift by me. I would die. With a Sufi's best part. By the way, that logo should definitely be on a shirt. That's a great logo. Yeah.

That's great. Let's try to get it on a. I want it actually on the hood of the hoodie. On the back of a hoodie. So when you pull the hoodie up, that's it. Oh, you zip it. Yeah, we can do that. That's a different process.

It's a different process. It's called sublimation, but we can make that out of it. I don't know. Stop. You got to get in a merge and be an agent. We can go relax with your sublimation. I did a lot of research, man. I'm sorry.

I know. That'd be good if you could zip it all the way up. Yeah, that's it. If you do that, you can do it. Or if the'd be good if you could zip it all the way up. Yeah, that's it. If you do that, you can do it. Or if the face was there and you could put it in those were your eyes on your eyes. You know what? You get a little character with yourself

with your design. All right, get a call. If she's designing your shirt, she's you're taking over the merch department. Listen, I know what people buy. Buy them. All right, I'm a dumb buyer. So I don't see what the fuck you doing.

Let's go on Shark Tank. We're going to go around Bobby Kelly hoodies with the eyes as the eyes. It'd be great. Come on. We'll sell 10. Yeah, I would like that on the honey. That looks good.

There it is. Sublimation. What we talking about, you're getting married in three days. Now Joe, here's the thing. I can you say three days and he says tomorrow. Because it's gonna come out later. Yeah. Well, we should just tell them.

What? Say what? Just tell them. Sarah and I broke up. It's over. Me and Joran love. I'm dumping dawn. Yeah.

And I'm getting max. Dump and done. Yeah, dumping dawn. That's the name of the clock fest. What? I'm very anxious. I think I don't know if I have food point. When can you get food poisoning?

You're not, you don't have food poisoning. Why are you finding food poisoning? By a chicken an hour ago. Could I be could I have food point chicken from you could have eaten something before and the chicken is pushing it out. Yeah, you probably just have to sound so medical. I just pooped where very quickie was it wet quickie was dry. Is your drinking tea? Yeah, I was sitting by to settle down with his fucking he's not sick stop trying out about his bells

He's getting married. I had chick filet yesterday wasn't hop oh God Look at me stop talking you're nervous. You're getting married Yes, okay, you're making a commitment so no one's ever gonna see a penis forever except for her You're done you're gonna get married you're gonna have a kid're gonna get a house. When I have a kid or a house, you will get a house. You keep saying no. You don't want a kid? Not particularly no. Yeah, you'll have them someday. Great. 59 years old, Bubby. Not 59. I'm sad I missed her. They threw a fake bachelor at party after our soccer game. Yeah, it's fun. I mean, I was there. I don't know You have a woman's comic soccer game. No, it's so Ed soccer

It's me and Sarah and Christian Polanco and Justin Perez and Irene Morales and Alex Pavon on The bunch of links. All soccer is women. Yeah Well, I guess after the game on Saturday, they brought a bunch of little penis straws and had a lick of fake little batch the right French thing It's fun. You guys do all these young comics. Are you Millennial comics still much? Of course not a millennial neither is Sarah. What are you? Generation wise it's a million she's 40 is she really I shouldn't have said that we take that out and post No, she's not 40 she's only 35. She's skewed younger show business 39. We're not generate. We're not millenials. We're generation why wait You think generation why a millennial your progen

No, that's the same thing. I said about you under 30 that's what I said about you when you open for me I too now cuz I'm getting anxious, you know, you're fine. You're gonna be fine. They're married you marriage suit you I'm wearing a suit to the wedding. So what? You should wear a suit. Do I have to wear a suit? Yes. You're not wearing a suit. You gotta wear a collar.

A white collar. Are you going? Where am I merged? Oh, yeah. Is anybody here going? Just me? I'm gonna show up as for a guest. Oh, millennials, also known as generation wide.

Yeah, fucking. You're a millennial. You're a millennial. I'm a millennial. You are. You have the same attitude. People under 30 are millennials. But are you're a millennial? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, They're all dumb stupid. You know why it's stupid? You never invite me You know, I didn't invite you and you came and you poo pooed. Are you a boomer? You fucking poo pooed I didn't poo poo. You fucking lied to me. Not in lie. I got a balloon. I had a party You came you brought shit. We ate it and you got upset you brought things to the this is very bobby move You brought a bunch of stuff to the party everybody enjoyed it and then you went, though they ate my phone This is what this is the very fun. This is what the millennial sucked dick, right?

I'm not a millennial. You're a millennial. 36 years old. You're a millennial. You're a millennial. Yeah, you're a millennial. I would suck a dick if it was presented to me in a nice way. This is how he's a fucking idiot.

First of all, you said, hey dude, I'm gonna party. All your friends are gonna be there. Like Mike, like Gary, Dan. No, I said the guy, the of folks. I said I show up like that. I didn't say your friends. Yeah, he said my friends all the people you know. So I bring my wife my kid my family and a bunch of snacks. Don't add your family. You do. You said my wife my kids my family. That's one group. That's not three different things.

That's not the way the kid is your family. You didn't bring your uncle and your aunts and your grandson. I built it up. My wife, my kid, my family. Oh, I said it. All right. I'm tired of my children. I emphasize. I make, I fucking make it dramatic. All right, fine. Okay.

And I show up with all the stuff to see my friends. First of all, he says it's going to be a balloon, right? He puts the balloon. Yeah. A fucking inch off the ground. was pretty bird an inch off the ground that gave me a short string so then we're looking for a balloon for four hours in central park I literally just had a walk around this big field looking for there's a hundred million people I dropped a pin how old does Max I finally baby

baby so I finally got a little bit I finally get over to this fucking stupid balloon that's an inch off the ground and it's a bunch of I don't know who he's fucking just bearded millennial fuck and they went to her who goes to a fucking party and don't they don't bring anything I brought a shit I put it together. They're gonna sheet in a fucking frisbee and that's supposed to be a barbecue Savages Savages What is done because if you brought if everybody brought something we would have all had food that we could have shared But these savage little fucking no money making Brooklyn fucking creaking the cave clock suckers. I live in Queens

I live in Queens. I work here and I bought the balloon. Not this. And the sheep. And the sheep. So I bring a whole bunch of snacks from my family and friends that aren't there. I put them down. Was there.

Gullman was there. Buddy, these fucking open micers. Yeah. Fuckin' j... Fuckin' catapillars. They fucking took everything. Catapillars. Catapillars. That's stupid. That's. Catapillars. You make that stupid.

That's only catapillar. I get where he was the kid. Thank you. Catapillars. They give along leaves. You made leaves. I wish you had left because I they weren't like fucking.

They weren't like rats. They were like slow little fucking chubby lazy catapillars like that. Oh, that's definitely. Hey, we turned into butterflies. Okay. Just when the catapillar thought all hope was lost, lazy caterpillar like that. Oh, hey, we turned into butterflies, okay? Just when the caterpillar thought all hope was lost, he turned to a butterfly.

It was awful. You ever hear that? I go, where long did you say? I stayed fucking 20 minutes out of get the fuck out of it. And then he left and then cook and Gary Gullman and Louis CK showed up and you know, keep robbing and being brought to us. Yeah,oss.

Bob, why'd you bring any snacks? Where's all the snacks you brought? Stupid. Listen, if you're gonna do an impression, that was flawless. No, it was not flawless. Let's see, have a retainer in. You've got to get better all the time.

I had a retainer. What's your name? I don't like how your brain works. You hear one thing, I had a retainer. I did. And I had a getting big name Spunky and I just say, I want Spunky. Hey, we know you want Spunky.

No, I'm getting married tomorrow. Everyone's show their tits. Bobby, you start. Joe, you getting married. Now, here's the deal. Yeah. Where you going on your honeymoon? Uh, why I'm really blowing up. Oh boy. It's there Pick it up. Oh, she's

Collar caller. Give her call. I'm not gonna call it on the phone Caller here. What's the number? We're here. Let's get a number. Give her call. I don't know her number She's on the train. She'll get scared. It's gay What was the question called on please? Where are you going on your honeymoon? Oh, we're going to lagoon. I don't want to tell you what people just show up. They're not going to show up. You're not that fucking popular for a fan to go, Hey, let me get a fucking ticket to laguna wherever that is. And just this fuck with Joe. Listen, it's in Mexico. Yeah, people are gonna fly to Mexico to fuck with you. My fans don't have that money.

Our fans, all of our fans, including you, Connecticut. Thank you. But the wedding is actually on Friday or Saturday. Saturday. Hello. Dawn. Yes. You're on the podcast.

OK, where are you? I'm at play, please. So there's a bunch of screaming kids. That's okay. Jolus is getting Jolus is getting married Saturday, correct? Yeah. And I got to marry him. Yeah. Did you get a babysitter?

Yes. For how many hours? Um, I don't know for like from four or five, four clock, so 11 or something like that. How much is that going to run me? I don't know. 15 an hour. 15 an hour. 15 an hour. So what's that? What are we going to, what are we talking? 120 bucks. Six hours, seven hours. This is the math.

Do we tip? Do we don't tip or write? No. Do you have to tip me? We feed her, though. We have to feed her. You guys are going to be there in dinner time. So we got a feeder. So it's going to cost me around 150 bucks, right?

Yeah, probably. Great. Okay. What about Friday? We have an a party Friday that you're invited to Friday night We have a party. I'm gonna probably go myself, okay? You can bring max is invited Max is invited. I guess Max can come to that one Where's the party in Terry town? Don't say where cuz they will show They'll they'll make the trip to tarry town, fucking asshole. Alright, so, alright. Alright, bye bye. Alright, have fun. Alright, to be next time, you know, have something else. You know, I thought you'd have some more. Well, I'm trying to keep an

eye on Mac with like 75 kids running around. So, in your having a conversation with me, but a baby sit up for a wedding on the weekend Two Shay Jesus Christ. All right. Goodbye. I love you. Bye Bye Hang up Can I can I give you a pointer tipper, a tippy? Yeah. You're gonna give me a tip on marriage. I've been married a thousand times. Not on marriage on podcast.

What? You call last week, you call a donut. The guy who had a fucking shirtless half-in-shape guy on his live podcast and invited the whole industry down. You wanna give me tips? I was ripped. You wanna give me? We made a mistake.

He was half ripped? He was he the Two you that guy's huge, but he had three apps. You he's huge. All right. I could get in shape six months. I could be him. Okay He was very in shape. Okay, what's your tip? You're gonna get God fucking love you You're gonna get dawn involved in the bits last week. You like you're doing this whole bit I don't even know we don't have a babysitter I didn't know I was doing your wedding I thought it was like tober then you called on she's like yeah what are you talking about we're doing what we're having a babysitter can I tell you why you suck on this she know and it's why I'm gonna tell you

why anytime something happens where you can get on your dumb phone you get on your dumb phone because you're a millennial You're the bully Don't talk to about you're a bully. Why am I about how to define it bully to you is millennial to me Except you are a bully and I'm not a millennial. I'm not a bully. Why am I a bully? What if I bullied you into you're yelling at me right now You're shouting at me. That's that's that's that's not that's a action shout stand shout come on come on come on baby I hope one of you chokes I really should also have a retainer funky all right will you dance at my wedding now whoa dance I dance I dance I dance that I let Marcus is wedding I took this one's gonna be better. I went and took

Jim Norton I dragged him out of the dance floor Was it just to you? Me my wife there was a bunch of people were all comics. I was like come on like dude you feel uncomfortable? The fuck you banged tranny shit in this picture And I mean if you do this that's a moves maybe move. Maybe, you know, what was your move? I love your moves, puppy. What's your move? It's not that.

It's not whatever snapping. No, that is. Snap, listen, snapping fingers is one of the fun. When you, when people dance and they, and they, I want to fucking punch you in your face. I want to punch you lacking animal bone on the boom. I hate it. I'm just saying is you should email Don and say hey, we're doing a bit. It's gonna be fun. I don't know. I'm gonna go baby. I fucked. There's a wedding. She's like, what do you talk about? We already knew about this. I wanted to find out how much I had.

No, that was my one of the corner. But last week, this isn't. I wanted to find out how much it's gonna cost me. You said 500 on the phone earlier. All the fold disclosure. Bobby made me feel bad. He much it's gonna cost me you said 500 on the phone earlier all the full disclosure Yeah, Bobby made me feel bad. He said this is gonna cost me 500 bucks. It's kind of she tells me let's add it up Box an hour. Let's add it up fuck face 150 for babysitter. No. Yes, hours 15 bucks that 15 30 45 60 75 90 105 bucks 105 I got a feeder plus pizza Peter that's pizza bucks plus plus sodas

Bobby got a fridge with seltzer built into it coasters napkins We're at 110 bucks. They're gonna have to rent a movie. Let's say 125 25 bucks 200 125 bucks 125 for the's go ahead and say 200. Do you just count that? Let's say 125 bucks. 125. 125 for the baby sinner, because that's gonna be legit,

because if we're an hour late, that's more money. And you say get the pay for a dinner. 125 for you. For years of friendship. 125 bucks. Then I got to, I bought you a gift, which cost me some money.

If it's not cash, take it back. We're broke. But then I get cash, then I'm fucking throwing in an envelope great I'm thrown in I'm throwing a 75 bucks 75 bucks cash you grant I hope giving you 75 dollars cash nice That's not bad right now. It's 3450 each that's not even a plate You're not going. I know we got a cash we're giving you. Great. And then envelope. Great. When somebody gets fucking married and you're in it and you go to it, it cost you at least five bills.

I wouldn't know because I wasn't invited to yours. Yeah, because nobody was. You know why? Because I'm a fucking friend of everybody's. And I didn't invite anybody. I went and got married. And it didn't cost my friends a fucking nickel. And they went to the wedding.

It was on their fucking computer. They got to watch a skip from their home or gig. They didn't have to pass up on a show, or lose money, or travel, or fly, or fucking give us anything. They just went and watched us get married by ourselves. And then when we were done, we were fucking on a honeymoon.

And there's nobody lost fucking money. Nobody had a fucking go to the bank, a savings account, and put a nothing, nothing. It costs, if you had three people get married in a month, that's $1,500. Do you have that? Done. I got that.

I had three grand on being someone's main of honor. My sister's getting married in Columbia and March. Missouri or South America? South America. Oh wow. Is this like, is she okay with this? Is she being forced to hit this? Yeah, we're calling it married.

But really, she's kidnapped and she has a cookie in her asshole. No, she's good. Her boyfriend and her fiance has family over there. It's actually not that expensive from New York. It's a third world country. I know. That's why everything's really true. I hate it.

I left early. I loved it. I went to Medellin. Oh, I was in car. Well, I'm going to go to the touristy place. I'm going to go to Cartagena. That's like just colors and you can eat fish for like a dollar. You just call them colors.

No, I'm not the color. Yeah, the color. No, the houses are all colorful. It's beautiful. But it's a massive. Have you been to marriage? Have you been to some of it? I've been to marriage.

Have you been to some? I got fucked up because she was still Yeah, I You're talking about the colors I Have you been to a wedding in a wet? Yeah, I've been to a few minutes. Yeah, and how much it had cost you? I had to the suit that I had around 160 right and then cuz you had they give you one You do it through a service. I had to fly down there twice because I was in the batch the party So I was like yeah, yeah, that cost you money.

Batch it. Probably it's all told like 700 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. What? I got it. I got three grand on my best friend's wedding. You got ripped off.

Is it best friend Beyonce? What is happening? Oh, she was fianceing. They're fun. Weddings are fun. They're okay. I hate weddings. I love them.

Joe's weddings. I tell you what, Joe's wedding sounds fun open bar. I can make up some money that way. I don't drink Wedding for the shit, but why don't you drink? I don't drink. I was fun. Have some fun. You don't drink either We're gonna drink Sarah and I I will teach you right in your That's a that's a classy move. You're neither of you drinking it out of an open bar. Yeah, because we care. We care.

People are flying. I have never been to a staff bar wedding in my life. They spend a lot of money. They bitch about it. So we wanted to have an open bar. And you get fed. Nice meal too. They have a little weenered dogs.

We have Marilyn Crab kicked it that way. You're doing hot dogs at a wedding. That's the appetizer. You pick a zir... You pick a zirb? Yes. Oh, Bobbi's a dirty man. Wasn pick your bobbies. Yes. Oh, Bobby's Bobby's Ernie, man. Wasn't that your nickname in high school? And the show now.

I gave it a lot of blue jobs, all right? Those lips. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to poor guys. Oh my god. How do you give it?

I give it really good. Do you? Yeah. Show me. Yeah. Dad, no. Listen, here's a deal. You get married this weekend. We're already got married. This came out. It's going to be a great time. I'm just saying that it's, you know, it's a lot of pressure on me. Yeah. No, it's about you. For sure. Definitely. I need everyone to leave it. I need to talk to me. I'm very nervous. Yeah. Have you ever Remy read anyone before? What have you ever read on before? I've had I've had a lot of I've had three people ask me to do it and I've said no to everybody Joe asked me to do it and I said yes

That was so cool. Try it again. Do it again. No, don't do it. No, I'll ruin it if I do it again. Just try listen. Nothing. I said yes, but now I'm a little Well, he keeps telling me say whatever you want, but don't say that do this, but don't do well I'm like I said, you know, you say hey this cut in this bag and then you're like okay great, and I'm like no, don't say that Why that be fun. Yeah, I got some tips for you Do you we can you I married I married my friends in Denver. Can we talk after that? You want to tell me now? Tell me now.

No, I'll tell me now. Well, I found and I got this tip from somebody else. You have them each. It sounds cheesy when you say it out loud, but it was like, you have them each pick a word and then they tell you something that they think exemplifies marriage and all that stuff. And then you kind of, you don't tell them until, no, you hate that. Wow. But it's good, because if you actually make up the thing

and you can find like the different meanings for both of those and you can take it on a tangent. Listen to me, look at me, look at me. It was fun, it was good. Let me ask you a question. Were your friends in Denver with a comics? No, they were. Were there any other comics gonna be there?

There was this one child in the front row that fucking killed. You interrupted my speech. It was great. You understand. If I went, hey guys, pick a word. No, you don't tell them. I doesn't matter. Separately, and you say Joe picked this word in Sarah, pick this word. I would be fucking smashed every podcast, every fucking anything. And then and then Chubby went, Joe picked

Sapphire. No, it has to be wedding world. You don't pick a color. I'm not fucking doing that. That's the worst. All you have to do is be better than Lewis's Gary Vieter best. What was that? You heard about it. We played it on the thing, I think. He read it at the live WKWD. The crazy. It's so bad. It's wild. Didn't he say that he wanted to give the network as a gift to his son he talked his is downry it was so brutal he talked about how hard comedy is and how nobody gets it and we're at this wedding can I please replicate that sometimes when I'm selling my merch on gastage you're. It's not so easy. It was like 12 comics and 200 real people.

And he's like, it's a brotherhood. We're in the, he said, he said in the trenches. It's like veterans in there and like people that work. He's like, you guys don't know what it is like to do a 15 minute set at the stand. He honestly, Jesus. It was so bad. We're in the trenches.

He never mentioned Allie wants it makes me happier that he's your partner Hey, let me reverse this anytime want to come over rough you come over here I will say this everything like he gets a lot of shit obviously he does we I do things that he does he that would never do So it's a good in a way yeah, no, but he Yeah, no, but he is. There is no better promoter, like, you know, person get it out there. Like, no, he's the why we have so many followers, I think, is because of him. I'm not that guy. Yeah, I view.

I'm not that guy at all. I'll get things working. No, don't get me wrong. Lewis is better than you. Yeah. I'm just saying he's crazy. I'd rather have Lewis on the show right now. Yeah, I agree.

I'm kidding. Now he's, he's a great promoter. We were joking. Why don't we have to defend him? Fuck him. She doesn't like him for real. We like him for real. Do you like Lewis?

Yeah. Wow, I just think he believes the arm, the arm's on just one of his shirts, you know? Just one of them just leave the arms on, buddy. Maybe not Camel Cargo shorts one time on stage. Something else. I don't think you'd like him that much. I don't care for his aesthetic choices, but I like to wear jeans. I can't picture them in jeans. Nothing. I don't think I've ever seen it. He's too boxy. He's too boxy. I think

I've seen Jay or Lewis ever wear anything but those shorts. Mm hmm. Jay wears the long jeans long jeans shorts. I've never seen either of them in pants. That's such a weird thing to have to keep up like into your 50s. But yet I've never seen Dave in shorts. Dave has the same outfit. He rolls. I've never seen him enjoy. He wears basketball shorts. It's been 90 degrees and he'll come to the studio in jeans. All three of them have uniforms. Yeah. They all three of them have you can make action figures with the three on there. I was wearing the same thing. It is it is smart. If it works out. If it like becomes really big they're always wearing the same thing. It is smart, if it works out,

if it becomes really big, it's like the smartest thing ever. There'll be fucking multi-millionaires. If this is it, and then it slowly peeders down into their 50s and 60s, and then you have to wear gloves, mittens, and Florida. And if it falls, or is it? You know, you're fucking 80 and you hip broke because you're still on a fucking nickel board. I don't I mean

I don't know. Fuck Mary kill Jay Lewis Dave. Let's go. All right Married day. You have to play. What are you talking about? You can play You know, I day we got a Mary Dave. Okay, so he's All Married day All right, I don't want to kill any of them. No, I got to stop you unfunny ass. I got it. I killed Lewis so they get, hey, I get the company. Listen, wait, you first, you go first. I'm Marion J because he's great at crowd work. I'm going to fuck Lewis to humble him a little bit. And I'm going to kill, I'm going to kill Dave because he's a libertarian. Okay.

I'm going to kill Lewis to get the company for sure. I'm gonna. I hope that really happens. I would have I read about that on TMZ fuck Dave because he's got that book. What's that? He seems more gentle Dave. So I fuck Dave. Fuck was that and I'd marry Jay because he has the most money on them. Okay great. I like that. That's good choices. Two marriages for Jay. Sound choices. Good. Two financial decisions. Well, I'm Jewish. What's going to happen? Oh, gross. Are you Jewish?

Oh, yeah. Get it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you I know why I didn't bring it up because I thought of it. I just got it. I know how it goes. I get thoughtful. I think on Mary Lewis were very close. Although he might hit me snaps a lot. Is he going to the wedding?

Gary, yeah, he'll be there. Damn it. I know, he's very volatile though. I hope I start to suck and he booze me. And then he goes up and marries you. And then he goes into a thing about loyalty and trenches. I know that's about the loyalty bad. I guess I got to kill you marry Lewis.

I guess they got a married Lewis. I guess I'd fuck Dave. He's petite. You're going to kill Jay. I guess I got to kill Jay. Why would you kill Jay? I usually went left. You wouldn't just kill him.

Would you fuck Jay? No, that's not how the game works. I got to kill him? He's the only one left. You wouldn't just kill him, would you fuck Jay? No, that's not how the game works, I gotta kill him. All right, so he's dead. But I mean, if I'm looking at the show, he's the only one on there, oh my God. No, I'm kidding. All right, there you go, what would you do? I guess I would, I mean, there's part of me

that wants to kill Lewis, but there's part of me that also is like, no, you fuck Lewis, it's probably been crazy. And then, you know, I'm gonna see. Listen, that was the most fucking honest woman thing like no you fuck loads are probably being crazy. And then you know, I'm just really listening. That was the most fucking honest woman thing I've ever heard on the show. Because the whole show just like shut up, fuck him,

ugh blah, hope he dies. I think I'd fuck up. I'd probably be pretty crazy. So you fucking lose. Yes. But because it would only also be that one time and then it'd be like shut up about it. And then. I fucked her. She's on it'd be like shut up about it And then I talked her

That's just on my network down it And then she's got a podcast go got girls Lewis is fucked Yeah, I'm not a kid. It's the biggest podcast coming out. I mean, I guess you could I guess I would probably marry Dave I know cuz I mean he's he did and you killed Jay I Wouldn't want to while this is no one's fucking Jay Everyone's either marrying or He's 300 pounds He's a small packer. I've seen he's got a little red fat chubby guy dick. It's got a little glove on it

Let me get it if he had a dick gloves He just cuts the top off a con I Of course you're marrying your guy, of course. I mean, I'm murderous. You know you're in front of Dave. But you still have to feel the same way, but you'd try to fuck him once if you could. So you should kill Jay because Dave is so close with Lewis.

That would be hurt for the husband. Yeah, but that's like a whole Christine thing. I'd feel bad. I guess. I'd be really killing you. You're not looking up for your man, though. Who are you fucking? Fucking Dave. Who are you marrying? Oh, no, I'm marrying Dave. Who you fucking?

Can't get out of I'll fuck Jay. I'm not fucking Lewis. You wouldn't fuck Lewis. Yeah, I'd murder I have this like a lengthy murder what if you can murder what if we mix it for you and say you can you could murder fuck What if we mix it for you and say you can you can murder fuck Lewis One two one two clenched ground and pound fuck dead she killed me God so you you you you'd fuck Jay in murder Lewis. Yeah, really. What do you think they're above? Yeah, okay? I definitely fuck Lewis cuz I know he sucks dick Well, I know he just fucking take my pecker. Fucking reach onto my sack. He got all the grasshopper.

He spit on it. Fingered butt. Oh, I'd fuck him. I'd fuck him right in his fucking gray asshole. I know it's gray. Face fuck him. He's fucking asshole looks like a Yankee fan face. Just gray fucking stubbly. Disappointed. Just as fucking his orangutan

assholes like three different colors go dark light and then just gray. He's got a neopalt on the asshole. Yeah. Oh, I'd fucking I'd fucking and he'd start talking. I'd stick my dick in further. Ah, stop it, dude. That's in the, ah, all right. All right, all right, we're not gonna fight again. Dave, I would, I would, I would actually kill Dave. Bobby. I'll tell you why.

You're the only one. I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd marry Jay. So I think me and Jay, I spent the week. We have a lovely life. Yeah, you know, I spent the, I spent the weekend with Jay in the woods with Ari. And he likes listening into music and lying around.

I was I was cooking. You're basically married that weekend anyway. It was just we had a nice little beautiful relationship. I mean, he just he's just a sweet guy. Jay is not. Jay can be vicious. Jay can attack. Nice.

This guy in the world, but he is a very I didn't understand how sweet Jay was until I would hang out with him in Montreal. He's just a sweet guy. I feel like this whole thing was done just so you could admit you want to. And then I would fucking I would murder. I picture you two in bathtubs next to each other. Yeah, big bath times. You get stuck in them.

Why not just one jacuzzi? Are you want to get the stock? I was commercial. Yeah, you know, get stuck in. I already have bandana. Oh, God. I'm going to get you. I'm'm gonna get you a band in a shirt. Can you make those?

Um, and I would kill Dave for two reasons. Why? This this fucking libertarian we get it. That's a lot of it. We're at the same patch. Yeah, let me tell you something about oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, and the Republicans and the Democrats and down the middle and blah, blah, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, and the Republicans and the Democrats, and down the middle and blah, blah, blah, blah, and the world and society. Fucking shut up. And I would get you back fully. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

100%. Because the fact that them, I don't wanna, never would ever do it, but the fact that there was the potential that one night after Adam left, I'd been able to been over this fucking thing. And stick it right in your rum. It kept me going.

And now that that fucking thing is just fucking, I would murder that little thin fucking little. Why are you going to wait until I leave? Who? Why are you going to wait until I leave? That's the first thing you said all that. You fucking creeps. I don't know where that was going.

Oh, it was so great. It was like American Psycho really quick. Let's wrap this up, man. This is a great show. Duh. Duh, another podcast down the fucking tubes. Last week I got in the books. And that down the tubes.

No, I meant down the tubes. This one was fucking mediocre at best. How long have you had the web address Robert Kelly live? A long time. Like 20 years. Yeah. Since sticker days. Since sticker days.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the stickers, yeah. I used to have the best websites in the world. I'm actually gonna put one of my old websites up. If I put my old website up, you'll flip out how great it was. Do it. I literally me walk across the top. Grab the microphone James Bond style the microphone explodes goes into little fucking like microphone heads for the like things to do

And then the middle of the thing becomes a liquid ball of me Because it was just It took too long to load now. It just was now it have it anymore? Because it was just too long. It took too long to load. No, it just was now load great. Yeah. It was just, Ben Bailey said it best. Bob Kelly's website is more famous than him. Like my website was winning awards and nobody knew might stand up. But your new 2016 tour date one is great. Yeah. Who was doing your site back then? I got it. He's supposed to fix that my guy Here's what happened with web guys you get them and they love it and they want to do it and they're all yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then you know, he did everybody's website bur burns brewer. I mean everybody Everybody's I'm just saying he did everybody's website Judah Everybody my guy and then websites became so easy that anybody does them. And now he's got this great job and his kids are older. They actually can travel now. So he's not, he doesn't do anybody's website. He still does mine.

Whatever, it's a long, fun. I need a web guy. My web guy's amazing, dude. How much? I gotta say on the air, but it wasn't, does he cheap? I wouldn't say he's cheap, but he's a good web guy. Are you looking for someone just to update or you look someone to redesign it? I need both. There's updates you can get someone to do relatively easily, but a redesign is again, we expensive. I need up

I need someone to always update my shit. I'll give you my best info. I think I know somebody. Why are you taking him over me? Because he's a he runs a network like me. I know but look at this site. It's great. Hello, I'm the list. Who did the cartoon thing? Yeah, that's the comedy artwork. I love him. He's really a John's does a draw to she's another comic and she does it. I okay, that's great.

It's just the same, that's my site. I have to go. I've used the same template these days. Yeah, you copied my site. Is it wordpress? It looks like it's wordpress. Yes, it's a wordpress. It's the same one I use. You said that last time in pressing? It looks like it's a word press. It's not word press. You said that last time. He's in the email and said it's not word

press. I whatever. It's something better. Why does he listen? He listened. He's a fan. Tom to give me a fucking nice deal. And let's look at it. All right. I love that. The fucking warrior. The ultimate warrior. The ultimate warrior was the best. Oh, thanks. We should have you all love it. Oh, that's really sweet. It's a great website. I feel inferior now. What do you got? Got McDadebaby.com on Twitter, at JP, on the Scrumming Data. I got a couple of dates.

They're not on there yet. I'm gonna be in NIAC. Bring up your website. What's your website? McDadebaby.com. I'll give you a few. Keep Jo's up, too. Just keep mull up.

I got a, I'll be at NIAC. What's that? The NIAC Community Village Theater on September 8th. That's a Friday. What's at the Village Theater? Same time. Me apparently. All right. Go to his, yeah, they go to his day. I haven't had all the dates, but yeah, just Squarespace. I did then like five minutes.

It's nice. Yeah, Wix and Squarespace now make things so easy. It's so easy. Yeah. I am. All right. Well, don't scroll. Can we show his? I'm trying to get to the audience. I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to. I love you. I love you.

Right over this computer. I'm going, honey. I didn't mean to. I love you. I love you. Right over this computer. As soon as Dave's dead. Oh, I hope Dave's, I hope his new special comes out. It's so good. Any explodes off of it and it becomes huge. Hopefully, leave skanks and dumps her.

And stuff. Stop stating Jeanine Graffalo. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy for him. All right. God. What else is that it? Filly September 23rd.

I'm doing a half hour there. It's come to you that. Filly. What? Good. Good comedy theater. Filly. What?

Oh, what is that? You fill it off your Pennsylvania, Bobby. Are you doing I know what club there's a lot of clubs. It's called the good, good comedy theater. It's relatively new place. Awesome. Yeah.

Really good. Yeah. I'm playing the punchline out there. Yeah. The new stuff. I love it. But I love theaters. Yeah, it's like a black box. It's like, yes.

50 people. 100 seats, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Just you. No, there's a couple of features I'm doing that long as it. Right.

What do you got besides the network? I love the network. I have a beautiful side. I did it on my own. It's really not that beautiful. But is it? I am Ralph Sutton. I did it on my own. But it's just a that's original. Yeah. Oh, it's easy It was available Ralph Sutton was taken. I know Rob Kelly was taken. Yeah, so you got to come up and do lives Hosting ship rock to which is already sold out so you can't come even if you want to do and I go on it sometime

Yeah, I love to bring you on very good you it. Um, is that it right there? That is me. Yeah, that's me doing a charity auction for cancer right there and get you in. Is that it right there? That is me. Yeah. That's me doing a charity auction for cancer right there. Wow. And let's see what else. Of course, gas digital network. We're moving into our studio. I believe September 1st, which I'm very excited about and merge pump.com. That's great, buddy. And thank you for these shirts. Yeah. Thank you for the mug. I know. And of course, the big battle that works stars next year. That's going to work on that. We're going to go to dinner next week. We'll talk about that. We're gonna work this out, man. That's gonna be so much fun. It's gonna be a blast. The fans are gonna fucking love it.

And I love that we're gonna join all fans of all the networks. Yes, that's great. I'm really am so excited about it. I'm telling you, you know, I saw this was great about VersaE Special. And this is what I took from it. He killed it, of course. He's so funny. But he had the whole thing all set up with a company and they tried

to fuck him and he backed out. Now, if you back, same company that I backed out with by the way, but his fucking friends, Bill Burr, Pete Davidson, Bill Burr's agent, Mike Berkowitz, these guys stepped up and said, we got you. Fuck it, we got you. And he got to do it the way he wanted to. We got you. And he got to do it the way he wanted to. We got you. You're gonna do it the way you wanted to, where you wanted to do it. And everybody sold the place to fuck out.

He asked all his friends, all his comic friends retweeted it, people went and bought tickets, two shows sold the fuck out. And that's it. That's all we have to do. Right, we just did it with Dave Special, same thing. All we have to do. Take it back just did it with Dave special. Same thing. Oh, we have to do Yeah, take it take it back because we should all be doing it together and he got it

He's got a the deal. He got his way better. Yeah, absolutely and and you know These people's a fucking monster David since a monster they can help him sell it. They're involved It's it's the way it should be I agree could not agree more. I think so. That's why I gave Lewis everything. Yeah, you made Lewis. I made, I'm, he gets so mad. I know, it's great. And really is. He do it on purpose a little bit.

I do, but he gets mad. Look, let me tell you something. I know that he's, look man, anytime I've done a skank thing or anything like that, the fans are, those fans of the sweetest in the world to me. Yeah, the best. They're the best. So I know that that comes from them. So I the sweetest in the world to me. Yeah, the best. They're the best. So I know that that comes from them. So I'm just I like fuck with them.

Joe, what do you got? Comedianjolis.com. This comes out on Monday this weekend. Yeah, this weekend at the Tempe improv with Norman. We're doing a live podcast on Thursday. We're co-headlining all weekend. We've never done it before. Hey, hey, so come on out and then

October Rooster T feathers and sunny veil and Tuesdays with stories where we're doing fun stuff over there and I got your factory coming up. You guys are co-headlining. Yeah, we'll see how it works I'm Burlington December 21st to the 20th. Yeah, I can't wait. What about stress factor you headlining that? Yes There's Vinnie on the show. I don't know. What about stress factor? You had lining that? Yes. Is Vinnie on the show? I don't know. Is he going to do a 45 in front of you?

I don't know. But comedianjilist.com. And then you can go to merch.com slash Tuesdays to get your Tuesdays with stories gear. Yeah, the mugs are going to be up on Monday. All right, mugs. I heard it. Mugs are up there.

When are these going to be up? Well, you guys are on board. I'll get it up. Well, we get a pick to thing. Well, I want to pick, I got a look at the stuff. Yeah, of course. I think I brought you like three different types of hoodies, a couple of different types of shirts.

Where's my hoodie? I want to take my hoodie off right now. Yeah, they don't see the hoodie. I don't have it there somewhere. Give me that hoodie. The zip up. The zip up. I'm gonna put that on right now.

Merch pump. We'll come up with the name. But this is your, It's my, it's my company, the other one. Gas did another commercial. I don't even know, I think it was, same thing with gas digital, Lewis and I were shooting back a hundred ideas and then we hit it.

I don't remember, gas was his, that I know, but I don't remember who was merch pump. All right, we'll say you. I don't know, I'm not, I'm, guess. I was trying to come up with a kitschy name. Can we get a lady shirt? Yeah, of course she can. We're going to get the shirt.

What was the shirt you wanted? That is a nice city. All bass. Come on. We're not like a like a basic body suit. Yeah, we like our shirts. We also we have thin hoodies and thick hoodies. These are the thinner ones.

I wanted the thick one. Yeah, I have a thick one also. You know, we do. But for the zipper one, I'm not sure. I can get you a fix in for sure. We can. I like a thick zipper with the white. Okay. We I have a thick one also. You do. We do. But the zipper one. I can get you a fix. I'm sure I can get you a fix. I'm sure we can. Yeah, okay. We'll get that done for you. Kind of sexy. I like it. All right. There you go. Um, I know people who watch me now zip it fat boy.

Look like a fat elf. Um, all right. What do you got? Sweetie? Um, is that okay? That I call you that? Are you going to actually judge me? Tuts would be better. Tuts. I like tuts. Tuts is friends being my grandfathers. How about doll face? How about broad? Man, you can push in it. No, anything is fine. I'm Casey Volchim.com. I have no dates on my website. This is the biggest thing I've ever done. And I've got, no, really, I have a, I don don't I don't update my calendar. Oh my god. What a cool pick. I'm lazy. That's her. That's me. You're smoking a cigar you smoke cigars sometimes Um, but we just got the biggest owner But you're married to it. Aren't you married to a comedian right? We're dating. Yeah. Oh shit. Wow We're dating Well, I Oh, shit. Wow. You're really fucking through that.

We're dating. Well, I'm trying to push for more. I asked him to stay on the train if I could have a baby and we're waiting for an answer. Is it a good idea? Without marriage? Yeah, he can fucking walk right away. Yeah.

Don't get married. Don't get has of his Toyota Yaris. A Yaris. I've got, we're just gonna take Toyota Yaris. A Yaris. I've got. Is he from Aruba? We're going to Toyota Yaris. I actually don't even know what kind of car it is. I need a water.

Gay like that. You can have this one. Is it open? Oh, thanks. No. But I do have standup on the spot coming up on August 23rd. You're going to drink out of your open water? I'm not Toyota Yaris.

I'm just trying to help. What do you got? Standup on the spot on something like that. I'm not too eager to. I was just trying to help. What do you got? Stand up on the spot on, yeah, something like that, something like that. Yaris pop it. It might not be a Yaris, it might be, but it's something equally as square and gay.

I kind of like it, I don't like it. Fucking libertarian. I like it. It doesn't cost me a mission. I mean, I'm going to come to war now. Is that all you have? Is that one gay? So I have 10, well, I'm in kind of war now. Is that all you have is that one gig? So I have one at God tonight. You are God tonight.

I got him tonight. Can I say that? I got him. Oh, we got this one goddamn hit. I told you, fucking hell. I got it. Okay, wait, stand up for this bottom, the 23rd at New York comedy club.

It's very fun. It's, you know, you don't get to save material. You have to go based on audience suggestions and we have a good time. Yeah, that sounds fucking great. Yeah. Yeah. I was kidding. I hate it. I was, you know, stand up.

Let's not do stand up anymore. Let's fucking make jokes up on the spot. Yes. Why not? I don't know because it's fucking, I don't know. It's hard to enjoy jokes, but good. And then I'm going on vacation first. With who?

Me and Robbie were doing a Budapest Croatian Spain. Woo! And then I'm going through the main comedy festival that will do nothing for the career. vacation first was who mean Robbie were doing Budapest Croatians Bane The main comedy festival that will do nothing where I get to jump off of there's no comedy festival that does anything for anybody's career I know but this is except for my yeah, I don't have nothing for anybody. Yeah, what a two-feel I got management I love a comics think that's something that's a pain in the ass. I'm mad at it. Huh? Who's your management? Don't worry about it.

That's what's in the office. It's an amen for a man. Don't worry about it. There's a cool name. Don't worry about it. What you meant don't worry about it. Is that? Oh my god, that's so good.

You're within two. That's funny. You don't want to say it. Are they big? No, smaller outfit. You can't swap out. You can't swap out. You can't swap out. You can't swap out. You can't swap out. You can't swap out. You can't say it. Are they big? No smaller outfit but You can't smile outfit. Do you call them an outfit?

What are the fucking gang with guns? Yeah. The small outfit from the west of the from the bad lane. What's the other small outfit? What is it? Corner booth entertainment. Why do you say? Yeah, the bathroom. She's corner booth. Yeah. That's always the that's the booth you wanted to find. At Comic Con, the corner booth. Um, all right. So now that's good man. Good. I'm glad you get management.

Um, what else? That's it. That's a main comedy festival. That's a fun festival. I only one syllable state. I know. I heard it's just tiny. But you were straight. I was always lying. Um, it's I guess you stay like in a lake house and you kind of like bait. Oh, that's a call. I guess you stay like in a lake house and you kind of like Bates. Was it? Oh pick it up. Answer.

Answer it. Put up the mic. I will. You know what, dude, podcast right now. Put him on speaker. Oh, dumb dumb. The podcast. The speaker.

I'm not going. You hit it. Okay. Hey, what did you want? you want will oh it stars I hear Hey, can I give you a podcast tip? Hey thin fingers What something about us why uh... please hang up on him what something about it why would we think i could hear i can hear him he's in the studio never mind on speaker phone i don't understand will so

vince i'll call you back will let me talk to real quick let me talk to all about what's the talk to you he's racist but racist i would be racist what the fuck is that what do you know what's in there he's got serratids serratids I wish I thought it was it's no I met you and her have the same tits pretty king I'm ripped she's a seat cup, bro. She just found out.

She's so loud. Yeah. Where is Will? He's not even on the phone. Nothing's happening right now. He's not even on the phone. Will. Oh, that's not, oh, that's Sarah.

Sorry. I just called Sarah. I love that she didn't pick up you. All right. What do I got? Let's end it. Let's end it. We got to go.

Great if you'd bank of Boston Benefit in the Wilbur theater. That's that's actually Boston this Thursday night. I'm at the Wilbur theater with Dom Iraira Gary Galman. It's a great benefit. It's unbelievable. It's for the greater food bank of Boston done by Maddie in the morning, which I'm on tomorrow morning. He's one of the great radio guys in Boston. I love them to death. What else do we got? Drafthouse September 2nd and then helium at Buffalo 15 16th September 1st and 2nd. I will be at the comedy draft the draft house comedy in Washington DC. And then I'm going to helium comedy club the 15th and 16th of September. And then the 23rd, 28th and 29th, I will be at side splitters in Tampa. Oh, I miss that. No, 23rd year be at Summerville. 23rd, I'm actually, I'm getting comic of the year.

I just, I'm announcing that. At the Bobby Comedy Conference. I'm so excited. I'm fucking it, you have to excited. Bobby Kelly Comedy Festival. At my house. September 23rd. Submible Theater Boston Comedy Festival.

So that's gonna be something out of word, which is pretty cool. Jim McEw is gonna be there. And I might do a live YKWD from there. I don't know yet. And then, yeah, October 5th, 6th, we just booked this. And 7th, the Philly punchline, which I love that fucking.

I love that comedy club. Tacoma comedy club, October 7th. October 12th. October 12th. 13th, 14th. Yeah, there you go. So go to my website, laugh at a Boston Trio. I got a shitload of dates.

I went, I literally had nothing a month ago. Oh my god, look at all this. Yeah, we have a lot. I mean, we got a lot of stuff going on on my website. The tour is up there. It just all came through and Robacolidlive.com for all my dates. Make sure you come to the show. Make sure you tell me you listen to the podcast and support all these comments. Go to the shows. Tell them you heard them on the

YKWD. This is how we do it. It's you guys showing up. We do this shit for you guys. You come to our show, support us live, pay a couple bucks for a ticket and a two drink minimum and we have a fun time. That's a great show guys. Thank you. I want to thank Adam. I want to thank what do you got, sweetie? It's just out there in C Cabera. I love you. Yeah, you're on so many shows though. What else you got? I have a show at Samton, New York next Thursday, the 24th. What's it called? Pre-Nap.

Pre-Nap with with Marmar. Right. Which the far, I mean, the advertisement it would have been doing it a year now. So it's our one year anniversary. That's great. Congratulations. What do you got, Adam?

Requiem audio on social media. Great. Follow me. I will. Okay. I think I I do see you there. Hey, yeah, you do Who's this and then Zach is helping me out what Zach you got a Twitter? Oh EPI XZ29 anywhere Give me that a give me that a good wow Adam Adam Adam. This is the guy that's taken over for you I'm playing with the next block chart. He's a little aggressive and scary. I think the buy fertilizer hit me. I'm hurt for him. No, no, no.

Too aggressive. Well, we don't want a guy who can actually hurt people. We none of us can actually hurt people. Oh, okay, we just, that's my bad. Yes. Oh. Hey. There she is.

Here comes the bride. All dressed in khaki blue, clites. Who did that? I would cut in the thing. Congratulations, Sarah. And who she looks enthused. All right, so you're going to be here. Are you going to come in next week?

He's out of town next week, but he'll be back in a couple of weeks. I guess I'm representing him now. I say we Excited very excited. Yeah, we're having a good time over here. Well, it's gonna be weird You're gonna be the only one you can be right next to me. I'm gonna be talking to you. We'll both be here for a while though All right good man. It's gonna be good. I need you to not kill anybody while you're away Well, you know, if you kill somebody, tell us about it, come back. We'll break talk about it on there. All right, guys, that's it.

You guys are the best fans of the world. You know what, everybody, what's up, dudes? What's up, dude? Fans of the YKWD, check it out. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Thanks for watching it, whatever the fucking way you did it on laughable.com, which is a great way to do it.

I want to thank all you guys, but I want you to do me a favor. August 29th, Netflix, Ryan Hamilton, happy face. His new one hour special will be out. August 29th, Netflix, you have to check it out. He's a friend of mine, fan of the show. He's a fan. He's not a fan of my show. Fuck, I had it. He's on. Come on. He's a guest of the show he's one is a fan. He's not a fan of my show. Fuck I had it. He's on come on. He's a guest of your show

Just watch the happy face Netflix August 20th. I suck at this. No, you're great. I know because I go into it and I try to do it like a professional Hey guys Netflix like I'm some fucking morning zoo guy and I'm a mush mouth asshole from Boston just 29 Netflix what I love a mushy mouth Will you are you gonna do you want me I'll take that as a no happy face Ryan Hamilton Netflix August 29th watch it You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

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