Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bucco Bruce

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

With our guest unable to connect due to internet issues, YKWD becomes Calta and Kelly as our hosts take questions from the fans, whats happening with comedy culture and whats the difference between the Fonz and Henry Winkler! Follow @RobertKelly www.ykwdpodcast.com For advertising inquiries: [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're back. You know what's in live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast. YKW. YKW. He's back again. We're all starting before the mall. YKW.

YKW. YKW. YKW. YKW. YKW. YKW. YKW. YKW. Why can't I get it? My guess is so fun and crazy. And as a rule, you're ruining this. I'm sorry. I'm not getting my guess. This is an NPR. That's the point I've done.

Is there any better show? There's the original. I'm getting it. You didn't have me yourself. I'm the only one that's a professional in the show. And mush is supposed to hit the button now. Oh no, it's not, it's not mush's fault. No, it is. I cannot mute you. You're supposed to ask. Okay. I'll make sure I can ask if he's muted. No, there's a button I can press.

I said, first of all, I don't like this, this way we're starting off right now. You want to go, if you want to go be with your friends, don's a bite. I can press that said first of all, I don't like this this way was starting off right now. You want to go If you want to go be with your friends, don't be mad at me and my friend mush hang it on here. I It makes me so it makes me feel so good inside that you I'm mad right now that I was with these other people. I missed you so much. It was Joe Lest and Ari Shafir, right? And Joe's girlfriend. He's a good. It was Bushcraft Party boys. Joe's wife.

Yes, Joe's wife. Sorry. Where did he bring his girlfriend? No, his girlfriend stayed back. We brought his wife. That's queer. Why did Joe bring his wife to a guy's name? She's a comic, so it's queer. Why did you have to bring wife to a guy's name? She's a comic, so it's not. I like her. She's nice and in-bony as I like her a lot. Just saying. So, I mean, look, she's a comic, so she's in. You know what I mean? It's just bringing a comic. Your wife's a comic. Now it's Bushcraft Party Boys and one girl. Yeah, that's not the same as the whole man.

I like it. I wouldn't allow it. You should put your foot down to this is Bushcraft party boys. No, no girls. I think it's a, it's a, it's already done. You know, that's your party. Whatever you have to do. But we, I tried to do the cast from up in the mountain.

There was one spot at the campsite where I could get a, like, stuff would come in. And then it would shut down. Yeah. And I had one bar. I didn't get any, I didn't get any emails. I got nothing. So there she is. Look at gorgeous. So she was wearing a shirt. I was like, this is the best. I'll have her. You're muted by the way. You're muted. I'm mute yourself.

What's up there, lips? What's up? You look like you just had sex. I actually didn't have sex today yet. I know, but last night and every day of my life. So there's still time. You bang every day. No, if I bang every day, my vagina does hurt that. Really? Because it was a big old cock or you got a week vagina? Probably a combination of both. Wait with your hands. How big? Stop it. Your vagina is not that big. I knew that was coming, but I still enjoyed it. Your vagina is not that big. I knew that was coming, but I still enjoyed it. Mike, now Mike, are you really, are you really, were you really jealous of me yesterday

of being with other people? I wasn't jealous of you. I didn't want to be climbing a mountain, but I was jealous that you were with your other friends. Now listen, they're not fucking number one friend though. I'm hanging out with them just saying. Yeah, but if, look, if you lived here, we would go hiking on smaller trails. I'd be like, can't we just run the helicopter and take us to the top of the mountain? Yeah, exactly. You know what happened yesterday? So, you know, I'm the, I have all the shit, you know, me, I go into something, I go deep, right? I have all the gear, I've got all the cooking stuff, I'm, you know, blah, blah, I have the bear spray.

So I'm getting all my shit ready at like seven in the morning yesterday, I get up and I'm fucking, I have the bear spray and there's a, there's a safety thing on it and it drops as it drops, it pulls the safety thing off. And it hits the ground on the top and goes, this is all it did. That's it. On my fucking shots, right? Just a little spray on my crocs. And I was like, boy, so I wipe it off a little bit. It, let me tell you something, wipe it off a little bit. It, let me tell you something. It fucking, it felt like somebody boiled water and threw it on my feet. Oh, really? Yeah. So bad. And then I, I'm, I got, you know, they're coming. I got to go. It's for hours. I finally take a shot. I do all the stuff. It goes away a little bit. I'm in the car. We drive

up. I put my shoes on and put my socks on. As we're going up the mountain five minutes into the fucking hike, my feet start burning again. It feels like somebody threw the whole way up the mountain. I'm walking up. I'm trying to remember like I follow a couple Navy seals on Instagram. I'm trying to remember like I follow a couple Navy SEALs on Instagram. I'm trying to remember like inspirational sayings. I never give up. You could do it. I'm like, I got it. I'm going to have to go back. I got 70 pounds on my back. My feet are burned. What's in your backpack? Because he was gone for a month. Because we, I had to bring all the shit, man, we're gonna bring all the stuff. You were going on a day hike, you need a water bottle and trail mix. No, we stepped, we stayed over you fucking permanent idiot.

Okay, permanent, the fuck? You don't even believe in my growth? You jump into a story halfway through and you're fucking immediately, you didn't even, you didn't even know what the fuck happened. Let me finish the story, ask some questions. That's what's wrong with your generation. You used to accuse people. It always goes back to what's wrong with my generation. Yes, it stinks. But why would you open your ears, become a fucking ear instead of a mouth? You're right. I won't talk to a podcast. No, you should listen on the podcast a little more

to the story. and maybe ask a couple questions like an investigator. And then you'll get the information you need before you're fucking flip out your accusations to get. I don't need any of the. I mean, to me, what's our hands? Oh, so, so anyways, we get up there. I sent you a, you got the photo.

I just sent you bring up the photo. This is this is literally 10 feet away from our campsite It's it's fucking gorgeous. We got up there. It was beautiful. We got a site. We put the tents up everybody had their own little tents And then we lit the fire And then we went into this if Mike I'm trying to prolong this and just make it go longer because Mike will bring up the photo and it's going to come up. He's going to share the screen. Look at this fucking thing. Boom.

Yes. So now that that is, that's all granted. There is no dirt. There's no mud. That's just a fucking granite slab. And there's four of these that go down like it's like this is the top one. And then there's another one on and that's that's over your head by the waterfall. Like you can jump off those rocks and do it. Like it

was two hour hike up. It's kind of straight up. And then you get up there and we all jumped in that. It was fucking heaven. I mean, heaven, my feet cooled down. I was so fucking so beautiful, man. So I believe this is my first time seeing Joe lists shirtless. That's pretty impressive. I mean, you know, yeah, but he's going I see some impressive show me the other photo. That's the little movie. What? The little movie you sent me? What a technical. I mean, yeah, I'm making sure I'm bringing up the right thing. Hey, yeah, yeah, I think I said you two things, right? That's it.

Yeah. So anyway, I took all these things. I'm going to make a little video, my little videos that I make, you know, the bushcraft party boy video. No, I can't say that anymore. Bushcraft party people. I don't want that. Bushcraft party boys and one girl is what they want. That's good. Bushcraft party boys and the cock blocker.

And then I go, what if we add another girl? It's Bushcraft party boys and two girls. I mean, we're going to cut party couples. Why can it be boys and girls? Why, why a specific number of girls? Because what are we going to push craft party boys and girls? It's stupid. Well, I like it. It should be bushcraft party boys. And if a girl comes, you're a boy. No, if no girls should come, that's a whole point. I'm going to go hang out with Bobby and Ari and Joe and I want to be fat and naked and sureless. And so I'm not the worry about there's a girl there

and I'm going to impress her the whole time and I agree with you. I'm attending to agree with you now that we're you bring up valid points because you waited and got the information you needed and then came back at me and now I am green with you. And that's how life works. But I'm going through all these photos with Max today and this is just fucking look at this. I mean, he's so weird. I mean, I can do the shoes. What are we hiding?

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I don't play that one. You can't play that one. Please tell me an animal rapes him. No, he says something stupid, but, um, okay, that's it. I'm going to be surprised by Ari saying something stupid. Well, we can just look at it. We don't have to play it. I was, I was, so I was doing this, I was showing Max today, because he was like, let me see all the stuff. So I'm showing all the stuff.

And there's the waterfall and the campfire. And then there's just a picture of Ari with his hog out just a fat and his dick and balls. I've said this before, it looks like his face. It's an exact replica of his fucking face. He looks like his dick and balls. And Dawn is behind him. She starts cracking up. She sees this big fuck. She's like his dick and balls. And Dawn is behind him. She starts cracking up because she's this big fuck. She's like, baby, baby, baby, baby. And I'm like, I'm trying

to shuffle off Max. I want to see it again. I'm like, I know. I check it out again. I'm fucking, I re babysit. So anyways, it was a fucking beautiful trip. Um, Joe forgot his blanket. And then the next day he found it in his, the bot. I'm like, he goes, Oh, here it is. I'm like, you didn't look in your bag, your backpack. Like you didn't go all the way through the backpack. But it was amazing. We could, we had a fucking Fadena. We had a cup of dicks. What? A cup of dicks. What is it? Just we cook sausages and put them in a cup. And then we ate out of the cup. Look at the cup of dicks. Uh-huh.

You have to get me in the same water. What? The chat says you always look great in water. water. What? The chat says you always look great in water. And then, um, and then we, uh, it was great. I mean, we talked all night to like 1130. We went to bed, woke up early this morning, packed packing up though is a, it's the worst. The worst part. There's two parts that suck above camping. The first part is sleeping. Just when, you know, you think you have to go into that tent and have a good night's sleep. Never. It's the worst night's sleep ever. I don't care where the fuck it is. I had a stump going through the my fucking tent. And I didn't know it till fucking like 10 minutes into sleeping. I was too tired to get up. So I just slept on a stump. Ari's air mattress is just the noisiest thing ever. And then it was just fucking.

Did you sleep in the same tent? Well, Ari. Now, he has a he has a hammock. It's called hammock. It's a hammock with a a mattress in it. So you can sleep on your stomach and on your side. It's fucked that. That's not a bear shows up. That's like clams on a half shell for him. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You're a, you're a bershuto hanging in a fucking tree. But, um, I worth it to me. But, um, the next day that sucks. And the next day, um, you know, packing up fucking blows, because you can never put shit back the way he a fucking had it. You just fucking jamming, shit in a bag. You're forgetting shit and um, but it was great. Hiking back was

fucking awesome. It was beautiful. There we go. Look who's here. Hey, wow. Look, look, look how, oh my god, dude, you look so sexy. Rockstar. You look at me in the princess bride. My God. You do look like a DC comic villain. Oh, you did. You're muted. I'm new, buddy.

You have to unmute yourself. Hey. Autumn left. He's got it. Why DC and not Marvel, Mike? You're not quite there yet, buddy. He's got it. Why DC and not Marvel, Mike. You're not quite there yet, buddy. He has more mustache. You're skinny. You're too skinny. You're the kind of DC guy that would fight with the sword. Yeah, you do like if Dr. Strange just like let himself go for a weekend.

Still sexy. What's that, Baba? Hi, buddy. Yeah, get comfortable. Thank you for having me on, guys. It's always been quite the pursuit. Yeah, we need, we wanted you on for a couple of weeks. I'm glad you finally came on, Bobby. I miss you. And now he's frozen.

And now he's frozen. We waited so long. You have a money just freezes, but he looks, he looks like he's listening. Let's just ask him questions. Damn. There you are. I changed my mind. Now you look like you pitch for the pirates in 79.

Are you there? Frozen again. Oh, there he is. He's moving. He's moving. Are you listening? He looks so, you look so manly, brother. You're so manly. Big Tom Selleigre now sideways. My God, he's such a good looking guy. We all gonna jerk off now. What's going on? I knew we should do the jerk off party early. guy. We all gonna jerk off now. What's going on? I think we should do the jerk off party early to you know, we should do it now. Um, yeah, it's good to know that success does not bring you good internet. I think he's actually staying at a family's house during the pandemic. So, oh, okay. Well, they have crappy internet. Well, yeah, I think, um, Gaff, you can get on an internet feed. have grabbed me on the map. Well, yeah, I think, um, Gaff, you can get on an internet feed.

Um, maybe, you know, and it's this time of night too. I don't know. I'm just making that big story. We can just stay like that and we're going to mock your looks the entire time when you can't find back. We don't need to do that. We can just fucking do something. I was positive. I mean, I just want to retreat. We don't need to go fucking mean. We can go with that. I'm retreat. Yes. I didn't get to the part that I wanted to tell you is that I told this morning we went by the waterfall and we all meditated. Oh, sweet Jesus. Now I'm glad I didn't go. What?

You wouldn't, Mike, if me and you went up there, just me and you, you helicoptered up, I hiked, right? Yeah. And I said, let's go by the waterfall and do some meditation. You wouldn't meditate. No, it's in turn to a J more story next thing. I feel your hand on my leg and like, no, no, no, no, no, Bobby, I love you. But if I'm going to blow somebody, it's not you. I'm going to blow Gary or somebody smoking hot. I'm not going to blow me. or somebody smoking hot, I'm not going to blow me. I don't want to give you any false expectations.

Okay, my wife been wearing these fucking mimos. She looks like Mrs. Roper. Fucking, I got a lie. Oh, I love it. You look great. How do you get away with saying that shit? I would never say that. She looks like that's crazy. Look at this fucking burn mock right here. Look, I have noticed that. What is that? I had Louis Gomez over Sunday, right? For Father's Day, a little barbecue with the kids going in the pool, right? Him and Jamesy and Max are really good friends. And I'm sitting me and him sitting by the pool. We have ice coffees.

I get, we both have smoke at cigars. We just both went in the pool. The kids are still having fun. I'm smoking my cigar. I've said one of the kids splashes. It comes over. The water hits the top of my cigar, the ash, and puts it right on my chest.

And ice cream, let me tell you something. I always think that I'm a man ice I screamed like a fucking three year old girl. Where the kids, my kid was a dude, you're right. Like Gary, can we help Gary? Can you call Gary? He just text me right now, say of the internet there is basically going down. Yeah, right.

So he's not able to get on right now. I think, all right, see if he can come back in or, he's checking, but he says he may not be able to come back. He may have to reschedule because he's crying, but it's not working. Okay, well, he'll try. I mean, I think it's a, well, we'll see what we can do. Yeah, but we have a lot to talk about

because we didn't have a show yesterday. And yeah, I tried to. What is that? Is it something you're neck, by the way? Do you listen to the show? I was talking to Gary. Sorry. What about that big what a cotton in your ear, Gramps?

What do you got going on there? What the hell is wrong with you? You look bad. First I thought you had inner ear monitors. I was like, oh, yeah, this guy. I just realized what he got swimmer's ear The worst minute to ever Great, I mean, what are we at that is it me and you against you against me now? Oh, you're my number one best friend

I'm telling you right now you're very vicious lately. You've been very vicious coming back from my retreat. I'm going to be honest with you. You have very. You've been treated for five minutes. It's a retreat. No, it was a hike where you meditated for five minutes. We meditated for 15 minutes. All right.

But a treat is it's a whole thing. There's a whole lesson learned. No, that's your retreat. My retreat is you it's a whole thing. There's a whole lesson learned. That's your retreat. My retreat is is what I did. Okay. So it's not the only thing about retreat. You can't tell somebody how to retreat. Okay. Sure. I wish you'd retreat into the other room. I wish you'd have a silent retreat.

That is what a retreat is actually. What? A quiet included place in which one can let rest and relax. That's what I did. Yep. I did a silent retreat when I was in eighth grade. How to go? Pretty good. I enjoy your ears. Silently? Well, I choose pretty well. You fuck the blind girl. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. one time when I first got in radio, there was a girl that did things to me in my car that later we found out she was a questionable intelligence. Oh, well, no, no, no, hold on. She seemed to have a, I get it. She seemed fine. But then the next week she showed up and she gave me a book that she wrote herself. There's a big chief tablet. No, it's handwritten. And it was handwritten. How many face? Handwritten. Four.

I like, no, it's more. And then she handwritten me a note, which I still have somewhere and you have to read how fantastic it is. What does that give us a bridge? Oh, it's drawings. It's said how she was so attracted to me and she always loved not skinny guys as her words. And she was polite about it. Yeah, but then she got dirty in it.

And then my wife found that and I had explained to my wife that that was an old letter that a girl of questionable intelligence wrote. She didn't make it any better. Yeah, but now I'm now I mean, people I tell the story because I'm an honest guy and now it's run with that I hooked up with a girl who's mentally challenged which isn't true. And then one time I had a guy at Universal Studios yelled my wife so I turned around and I told him I was gonna fucking kill him and he was pushing somebody in a wheelchair and now the story is I'd beat up a guy in a wheelchair at Universal Studios. So people tend to run with the facts. I wanted to beat up a guy in a wheelchair.

Why do you do that? And again, I did not do that. Oh, sorry. Yeah. You just threatened to. I heard you did that. Yeah, I've heard it a lot too, but that's not. And it's not my only time I've battled someone in a wheelchair.

Calvin, I think Gabby got a pep talk from somebody. Why? Because she's attacking. I mean, she's coming in. Liz, every time I'm too quiet on the podcast. You tell me I like it. I like it. I thought this is what you wanted.

I you know, I'll tell you what I want. What? Not that relax. I want you do you never have to worry about me wanting anything from you sexual. I know that. You do. I didn't go the same for me. I just want to point that out. I I know that. You do. I doesn't go the same for me.

I just want to point that out. I also know that. I would rather fuck that microphone than have anything to do with you physically. I would love to see you try to put this in your grasp. Easy. What? Come out.

I found out a friend of mine likes to get pegged. Who? All your friends like to get pegged. There's not one guy we had on the show that I don't think is a side queer. It's the truth. I'd never heard that. I wish we could name the episode that. I don't think I've ever said that before. It's fine. I've just learned that there's a lot more guys interested in homosexuality

than I had ever met. It's bisexual. I did lose just type in, wow, I'm now I'm scared of Calta. Why would I say, oh, no, no, but she has a handicap side, a wheelchair. I'm not hitting Lou, I can assure you of that. I don't hit anybody. No, no, it was the one guy wasn't even in a wheelchair. He was pushing an old lady in a wheelchair. And he got lippy with my wife.

And then the second guy, I haven't heard any grown man say lippy. I use all I say, Bobby cock and all sorts of other. Well, it was the other one you just said about the, the queer, the half bag. But I'm still in that. Sure. I don't even know. I have so many open stories right now. I don't even know where to go. I think I hate this is where we need you to go. We need you to finish them all with the

the side queer. No, I wasn't with the side queer. That was that was you that you like the friend that was being pegged. Oh, yeah. I guess you're great. All my friends like it in the butt. Which one to know is one that you found out about you? Listen. You never had anything in your butt. Yes, I have. I don't like it. What was it? I'm not like a finger in a hole. But if it was something I liked, I'd be like, yeah, jam that shit in. I'm, you know, not.

I thought it was supposed to be good for God. I keep asking my boyfriend to let me put some fingers in his butt and he says absolutely not, but I don't know how far you have to go, but there's never been a time where I was like, oh, I'm like, no, it made me realize that I should stop trying to do the girls to that the girls that don't want it. Like, there are some girls are like, do it in the butt. And then there's some girls that are like, no, no, no, no, no, and so you got to know which one. And once it happened to me, I was like, I'm sorry for all those girls that I tried to do it to. What about a girl really wants it in the butt? Does that love that? That's the kind of

girl you want to do. It's not a girl you're forcing it upon, not forcing it, but you don't want to say talking or into it. That's going on in your past. That's scary. Mike, when you meet a girl, you don't want to say talking her into it. That's going on in your past. That's scary. Michael, when you meet a girl, you don't know what she likes. So you have to try it until she says, no, and then you go, okay, that's cool. No, see, okay, no. What you do is you kind of, you ask first. And then that, I don't come from the dating app thing where you guys ask each other,

fucking 20 questions before you meet. I meet a girl at a bar. We make out of the bar. We go back to my house or her house and then she happens happen. And I go, Hey, and she bends over and all fours. And I get behind her and I go, cool, this is happening. She goes, no, no, wrong spot. I go, oh, it came up bad. That's it. Yeah. I'm not saying like, oh, no, you're going to like it. I'm saying no, no. We're from the school where if you hear out, out, out, out, no, no, no, no, then you take

it out. Like, no, doesn't mean no. It means wrong hole. Right. Yeah. Like did we close dolphins. We call it. Yeah, because I give you try to do it. And they go, that's an office. That's a good way to go. I'm sorry. Sorry. We're learning so much new. But this is a trick, Mike, I think. We need to come up with different ways to say shit. So that won't be offensive. They can get you for full bag, but they can't get you for side-quare. Because that's, I mean, that's, no.

And I call it a girl a dolphin. You can't get in trouble because they don't even know what the fuck that is. That's right. That's right. And yeah, and what else? So that's it. So then if a girl doesn't like that, then you don't do it. But if there's a girl like, yeah, do what else? So that's it. So then if a girl doesn't like that,

then you don't do it. But if there's a girl like, yeah, I do it, then you're into that shit. But that same girl will try to put something in your butt, and you're like, yeah, I'm out. I'm out. I don't want to do it. So what I'm saying is I've been turned into a dolphin once or twice,

more like a porpoise. I would say a whale. Probably, but I don't make the same, I didn't go. Right, Joe. Right, Joe? You fucking shitty fucking shitty troll. Listen to me, you don't throw my number one best friend. We're friends.

You don't call him a whale. It was appropriate, Gabby, and I understand it, and I allow it. Thank you, Bobby. You fucking don't, you back me up. I don't want Gabby feeling like she cannot insult us the way we insult her. You call her a New Jersey for all the time. Six whatever.

You've been bringing it back up is fucking hideous. Here's the thing with now all I can think about is your dirty little ass fingers. I'm not hurt. No, hers. But look, there's nothing little about those fucking ET. Just say, look at those. Yeah, those extra, extra nothing. That blobs over there.

The lottery doesn't want it as that. That's a dick. It's a dick with a boney elbow. Ah, look at those little witch fingers. How many? I've asked, I've asked and I actually wrote a comedy song about it and sang it to him and he also said We have to hear it. We have to hear it. No, I don't hear it. No, we have to hear it. It doesn't matter

You wrote a song. It's a comedy song. We have to hear it. I heard it. You're okay. Say it for you. Yeah, go ahead How many fingers do you want in your ass? How many have you had my boyfriend in the past? I heard this one Yeah, so I have what's it? What's your what's your limit? How many do you had my boyfriend in the past? I heard this one. Yeah. So I have, all right, what's your, what's your limit? How many do you like? Seven. Not you, Gabby. That's what? What is your finger limit?

I say no, no fingers in the butt, but you could play around there for a second, but no actual. But why you want to do the hem if you don't want to do it? Because it's supposed to be good for guys. You're right, but it's not the butt. It's the prostate, which is up and in. So you really got to get those fucking hook it, but I'm gonna get those or sitting a whole fucking fingers that you have up in there. Exactly. I'm kind of born to do it.

Yeah, but you key. It first of all, that's a myth. I looked into it. It's all bullshit. But I looked into it. It means try to do it to himself since he was 13. I have stuck a finger in my own ass. It's like, it's like, it's like stab. It's like stabbing yourself. You can't do it. You think you can do it, but you can't stab yourself. It's taking a finger in your ass. It's just ridiculous. I've never done it. Now, when I clean my asshole, I can get in there.

I fucking take these two fingers, open it up and then you know, square it around open just to make sure there's no script it around. Yeah, I want to make sure there's no poop in there, you know, get all the speculum finger. Yeah, that's yeah, exactly. You go in there, you open it up and then you know, do do do do do do that's what proofs supposed to be all the way on the not We're not on the, not on the, no, poops not supposed to be in there. You're all shaking your head right now. I agree. I like to go in there and get a claim to.

Yes. Yes. Far up. Open it and then that's not that far up. That's like four inches and you're fucking scoop it around. You know, you read the rim. Oh, I thought you were opening your asshole and scooping it. Yeah, you wiped the top of the ketchup bottle clean. So there's no, you're run

with the thing, you do the rabbit. Yeah, eat better. I don't sell. He still gets makes you shit. Yeah, you shit like a fucking rabbit. Yeah, but you barely even have to wipe when you eat. You grew up in Jersey. That's why you don't know when and things smell bad. But you you put fingers in your butt, Gabby. No. Oh, good. What's the kind of want to hear the song? Can we hear the song? Let me go. Let me see. I have the lyrics. So I don't I haven't done it. I'm like too much. I'm gonna do it live. Find it. I hope it takes your 28 minutes to find it. Listen, Mike. Well, while you guys were gone yesterday because we didn didn't have a show we had a poll up on the Patreon. Oh, really? Fucking mush is all over it, man.

Whoa. Whoa. A guest host. Who would you rather have Rich Voss, Mike, Fini, Greg Stone, and a Galvin? I love that galvin be Greg Stoen. How the fuck to galvin not just win? Well, because I mean, half of my audience, half of your audience, and I don't know who's galvin is. That was the issue. Most people didn't even know who galvin was. And not and not okay. 90, 90, what how is Bobby Bobby is good.

And Galvin's dog Jake. Yeah, Calvin's been on you weren't here. We should have Gavin back on it. It was he was fun. We said great. Yeah. People are like shameless big. We got to get Shane. I love Shane.

Did you see today? Jeff Ross denied all allegations. So I believe Jeff Ross, no, not just because I like him the way he put it out there. He made it that he's been dealing with this for a long time that he believes that this girl has mental problems and that she's been coming after him for a while. And I kind of believe that you know more because you were there for the situation, but from what she said and what he said, it seems like he might be right. But the other one, the way I have no fucking idea.

Well, here's the deal. He came out and said that. So now I'm out. I'm done talking about it. I'm out. I'm not speculating about it. It's up to the courts. It's up. If she wants to press charges and he wants to defend himself and then whatever the court findings that said, as far as if he never came out and did that, I'd be like, whatever, that's crazy. But I'm out, you know, I don't want to fucking cause him any. If he's innocent and that's true, I don't want to cause him any fuck. I don't want to use whatever I have to fucking even harder. But if it's true and he did that piece of shit. Yeah, it's an odd thing to do. I mean, I understand mentally, I'm not excusing it whatsoever, but I was talking about yesterday, some of these people are fucking nerds, and all of a sudden,

they got famous, and they still want what they didn't have, a girl from high school. And I was in high school, I think that that's where they're at. I'm not, I don't want you to think I'm excusing in any way. I'm just psychologically trying to figure out why they would do something like that. Do you feel that way? Because you feel that way because you had sex with that girl who had mental problems. No, she did not have any mental things. She just wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Well, how about was she? But she a like a butter knife, but she could still cut you? She's a butter knife that can't get go through frozen butter. Yeah, I think so.

Go plastic knife. I should have known by her. We're rumors that she was wearing. She had like a brilliant room. Loomers. Yeah, so it's found call. She called the show that morning. My my my most gets a

two or three in a show and he's upset and we walk right over. That was a good one. If found call with their with their mother's name on it, not her. Okay, talk me through what you think of Blumarez. She had on like granny panties, but they weren't panties. They were kind of like like Nelly Olson would wear them from Little House in the prairie. They were like shorts almost, but they had like ruffles on the leg and elastic,

like it'll not ruffles, but elastic on the leg and then elastic at the top. Where'd you meet this girl? Yeah, it's exactly what she was wearing, those. Was she a reenactment actor? Was she a hulker in the 1800s? No, no. Hunter at a brothel?

Yes. I mean, I did pair and write a brothel. Yes. I mean, I did a pair and gave him an whiskey. Give me a dollar and now go around the world with you and give you a bath. It doesn't mean three liquorice whips. Yeah. Yeah. And then I taught her how to make ice.

It was one of Tommy throw a hot steak and a potato on for the kid. We're going to go upstairs and clean them up. I'll take you around the world and give you a bath. Jesus Christ. It was I hooked up with one of those girls a long time ago too. She was not, she was just in my class. She was a little slower than, but she liked me. You know, here's the thing too, all the stuff that's going on with people like, you know, we come on these shows, whether it be radio or comedy, even in our stand-up and we, we, we talk about these stories and we say, fucked up shit that we did in the past, whether it be sexually or whatever,

to deal with it. We deal with fucked up shit through laughter. And now the times have changed so much that people are going back 10 years, 15 years, and finding shit, I really believe that you can't fucking hold people accountable for shit they said in the name of funny or conversation 15, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago, it doesn't count because women were okay with it. Men were okay with it. It was okay with it.

I think women were just more crazy. First thing, you're out of your mind. You have no nothing. My mother, the first thing with fucking, literally got, excuse me, not many dicks, I saw that I didn't want to see. It was just a different mind. I don't listen.

Women were different back in the day. And you've become what you are now, which I think is great. I love how you are, Gabby, if you want, you've, you've become what you are now, which I, I think is great. I love how you are, Gabby. If you want to be honest, I love that you're a strong woman and that you take care of yourself. You like sex, but you want to be treated respectful. That's how I want my daughter to be treated. I want my daughter to be that way too.

But back of the day, our movies, everything was different. Every movie made was fucking pretty much date rape. And we didn't even know it. Yeah. So you can't hold the generation accountable. That was taught something from being a kid till their adulthood. And then when they're later in life, it's like, oh, that we don't do that anymore. It's like, okay, fine. Do you ever watch Happy Days? Gabby. Yeah, no. Happy Days, you know, Fondes, you know, Fondes, have you ever just seen Fondes? So Fondes was the cool guy and he was old or any hung out with these high school kids for

some reason. And he would give them advice on girls. And I was watching it one time and he goes, sometimes when the girl says, no, she really means Jess. And I was like, wow. But that's something you'd never say now. But back of the edge, they used to teach it. I used to take girls in the men's bathroom and fucking.

Not even hot. Get them all. That's not wrong. That's not wrong. He used to take girls in the men's bathroom to fucking fool around with them. And he would snap and they would just come to him. He would snap and these girls would come and they go in the men's room and do whatever they did. And he looked above a garage and he was banging, he was banging teenagers.

Yeah. Get a wall of fame, get a wall of pictures of girls that he had banged on the wall. And that was a, that's how long it was TV. Yeah. That's what I said. I mean, the best actor of all time. Because he's not very tall. He's not very good looking, but he made us believe he was the coolest guy in the world.

The whole time he was on that show. True. Oh, he was, is that your idol? Oh my idol. I like that. I watch that show a lot. But she was my idol and I met him. And I was happy with how nice he was,

but disappointed with how uncool he was. Yeah. He's a lot of what he's actually like. I'm not going to say that. and I met him and I was happy with how nice he was, but disappointed with how uncool he was. Yeah, he's a lot of what he's actually like. Very, very much so. He's just a kind, sweet old man. He loves fly fishing too. I love it. Yeah, he does. Big, big fly fisherman. I would love to hang out with him. Yeah, good to you. Yeah, great guy. Very nerdy. Very nerdy, very quiet talks like this. Touch my face when he talked to me like he's like a great big new grandfather. Yeah, he was like, oh, because I had interviewed him and then I met him a couple days later by chance and he was like, oh my god, he gave me one of those like old Jewish grandmother kind of thing. Yeah. Ew. Why, ew.

I don't know. Just made me say, ew, it just came out. I loved it. It warned my heart. I would love to be touched in the face by Henry Winkler. I hate it. Why, why do you say that? You don't know if you'd hate it.

I just know. Oh, you're so, what happened to you? What's going on with you? This is why you wouldn't, him would be be friends Bobby right there. Oh, yeah. Look at that. He'd hold you like that. Jesus Gabby, what happened to you? I'm just in a good mood. I can't have fun. This is you in a good mood. Just talking about Cox and ass play and yeah.

Did you find the words? Do you find it? No, I'm not. Come on. I just want everything, listen, I have to plug everything in. I'll do it next week. I swear. Right, it's a song about all our buds, thanks. We're inspiring. Do you know Gabby?

You know Gabby can really sing, right? Yes, I saw her play. I saw her sing Mrs. Jones. Is that right? When Bill Weathers died. Oh, yeah. No, it was a no sunshine. Ain't no sunshine.

I was it. Where is that? On Instagram. Most find that. I believe that's when I fell in love. Fell in love. I mean, you can't fall in love. You're 50.

Yeah, like a distant love. Like a pen pal. What if Gabby hit on you one night? Would you go for it? In a second. Don't tell you. You don't know my charms. Why involve me?

This isn't fucking fan fiction. I'm right here. I just asked him. I was wondering what if what, what do you do? If you hit on them and you went, ew, why would you say? I'll tell you the next thing or you're not going to fucking believe what happened. You better call me that night.

Right after I want to turn the phone on. Why do you have to say like that? You better call me that night right after I want to turn the phone on. I'm going to go to the morning. Why do you have to say like that? Was you guys are old? This just proves that you don't get it. Hmm proves you don't get it. Another 10 years again, but like, fuck, now I get it. Old guys where it's at.

I mean, I was I did dated 40 year old when I was 22. Yeah, you were just mad at somebody for that. No, he was talking about. Was it a base player for poison? No, he was talking about what's the base player for poison? No, he's actually in the royal family. The base player for poison wishes he was 42. You dated somebody in the royal family. Yeah, why'd you let that go?

Because he was he was too old for me and we what we couldn't make it work. Did Jeffrey Epstein introduce it to you? No. I can't introduce a work. Did Jeffrey Epstein introduce it to you? No. I used to him. My parents, my parents said I know about it. Everyone thought he was younger than he was. Was he in the royal family? Was he like a knight? Like was he was he a I uh he's now married into the royal family. Wow. And your day tattoo guy from Jersey. Well, he's from Arizona. Whatever. You know, you could just let the joke slide. That guy actually the the guy who's in the royal family on New Year's Eve this past New Years hit on me again. Well, you can't fault him. You can't say like he's fucking, I mean, you're a vage and you guys didn't go.

Yeah, I looked at me that night too. I'd fault them. Why? I, I, I find nothing about you attractive. How? I mean, you two thin, you, you fingers are two thin, you, you mean, you're too thin, you're fingers are too thin, you're, you're only your bum, you got no bum. I've had amazing bum. Let me see your bum. I never started. No, I didn't know you had legs. Let me see his least stand out.

Incredible legs. I'm five foot 10. Here's the thing. Is that every time I come to the podcast, I don't dress hot because you guys are gross and I don't want to insight any fuck is that why would we want to fuck that either I want nothing you're like a daughter to me with long fingers I want I want to Yeah, I let's play the video which most tracks is sexy every show and we have not said one bad thing to them What if much just stood up and he had a crop top on his shirt ended right there Ain't no sunshine when she's gone Only darkness everyday

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone In this house to the same no home anytime She goes away Why she goes away. Why she goes away. Anytime she goes away. There you go. Wow. Why it was here. Why do you even talk to us? That's why my long fingers work.

I could play guitar and piano. You could play a double guitar. Listen. Yeah, that's really good. I should have just been a pop star. I regret my decision. Yeah, you should, you should this comedy thing is so stupid. And plus cab, they're just going to as soon as you make it, they're going to rip you

down, they're going to find something you did or said somewhere and just fucking annihilate you. All the people you like are going to attack you someday for something you said on this show. And it's no will ruin my career. Oh, it's you're done. You're fine. And it which is ironic because it did start it. So it'll go full circle. There you have a book. Oh, whatever. It was really good.

Really good. Thanks. I love when I love when Mike, when people who sang and they go and they go somewhere else like that, you know, they're looking at the camera and then they just go away and they go and they go somewhere else like that. You know, they're looking at the carmen and then they just go away and they're looking at their somewhere else.

They don't care when they're making dumb faces because they know it sounds good. You always make a dumb face. You can't help it. I'm jealous of it. I play bass and I could not look more bored while I'm playing.

You do. You look, you look like you're like a fucking other song. And I like to do it. I just don't. It's really fun in me when you play bass because I don't see you. I don't know you as a musician. And then the first time I saw you up there, jamming, I was like, this is fucking weird. Like I just was staring at you and I felt weird because I was in the crowd just staring at you

for some reason. And I was like, what the fuck? I tell myself how to play even a floaty of the band. I was so fucking proud of myself. I'm playing with the band and we all start playing. I can kind of figure it out a little bit and somebody will be like, wrong string dummy. We're actually sad in my room with the guitar,

listened to it, played it, and I was like, oh my God, I have to 10 years of them. I actually learned some. It's sad, but what song was it? Sorry. What song was it? Even flow, the Pearl Jam song. Oh yeah.

Don't know why, Gabby. I feel like since I started doing comedy and maybe you feel us too, stop laughing when I just said I do comedy. I know, not that. You're not fucking drama, you know? No, JC just wrote in the chat just when I thought she couldn't get any sexier.

She fucking rocks. So I was laughing that, that, you know, all the shit I do give you, Gabby, I am your biggest PR person. You are I God damn right I am. You're the best. Do you launch my career? I love you. I love you. But don't you find Since I started doing comedy and maybe since you started you know You is that I can't play music seriously anymore like I think it's so dumb I'm in my head while I'm playing a song seriously. I think it's so dumb. I'm in my head while

I'm playing a song seriously. I'm making fun of myself. I'm like, this is gay. And for the record, I've never played music seriously. I have a very... Get the energy 2007 way to be clear. Yeah, yeah. Right. Gay in a New Jersey streetway, not in a homosexual way. Yeah, I'm absolutely wrong. What did you call it? You feel... What was the word you said, Mike? Yeah, right. Gay and a New Jersey streetway, not in a homosexual. I was a big. You caught you. Feel what was the word you said, Mike?

What did I say? I don't even know. Gays. What was it again? Side queer. Side queer. You felt side queer. I feel like I'm a bisexual, so I'm allowed to say gay. Are you though? You're not bisexual. You're, you're a vegan. That comes hand in hand. Yeah, I'll buy sexual. Are you the you're not bisexual you you're a vegan. That comes hand in hand. Yeah, bisexual are you. Bisexual. The comedy girl we're with. I've made out with a pound of girls. I've actually never had sex with a girl. That's not by that's not good. Well, I just decided recently. That's pretty short. I just say something Mike and you can back me up on this. If a guy makes that with another guy, that's bisexual.

If a girl makes that with a girl, that's just experimental. That's excess. That's just partying. Yeah, that's just partying. That's having fun. If I made that with a guy, that's pretty intimate. That's pretty sexual.

Why can't a girl and girl be intimate intimate? You got to go down the box I Think I'm gonna have a threesome with my boyfriend with a girl men That's with a girl I said What girl do you know the girl no? I am so it's random girl Yeah, do you have an idea of maybe it's somebody

you know? No. So you're going to find somebody. Yeah, maybe I'll take applications in my DMs. Hey, can we set something up on the Patreon where we can take applications to be? What tier is that, Bobby? The side the side plus. That's that's the hundred that's a hundred dollar tier. I might join I might join this fucking podcast. If you want to be side push in a threesome with that side queer side push. And my boyfriend's hot. Keep that in mind. He's like a let's him. He is. No, he doesn't want that. Yeah, I get it. No, no, no, he's six foot three and a 10. I'm six for three. That doesn't mean anything. He's hot remains between

Bobby, you thought you've seen a picture of him What do I get? What it why I what's the matter? Why he's like, no, it's not cool. Don't show my picture. Well, okay. No, he's just like in He's successful in his industry and doesn't want to be well known. He doesn't want to be torn apart. Oh, no, it's going to tear apart, especially if he's good looking. No, we won't tear him apart, but everyone who watches this podcast will find him and tear him apart. Can I just say something? That's true. You're absolutely right. they will do that. 100% true.

I get 3,000 dams a day of people tearing me apart from this podcast. Really? Yeah, they're, I mean, the thing about Bobby's fans, I feel like they'll roast you and be like, I love you though, huge fan. Yeah, I had a block one guy on Father's Day. Might put the thing up that Max gave me.

It's a sort of video. My dad is this. My dad is my hero. And what my dad is, you know, strong. My dad is, you know, loving. My dad is fabulous. And this guy wrote, I mean, the comments are all beautiful, really, fathers and blah, blah.

And then one guy wrote, he forgot obese. Whoa. But now I did laugh. But I had to block him out of principle. But I did, I did go flak and what? You know, it did get me for a second. And my rule is that it makes me laugh. I let you stay. But not on Father's Day. Sure. Agreed. Not on Father's Day. And not when it comes to my kid. Go find yourself. Um, Father's Day. Yeah, I had a great one.

I had Louis. Louis came over with James. We barbecued. We've sweat in the pool. Louis was on his phone all the whole time. So he really talked. I'll come Louis hasn't been on the show yet. I don't know. What did you say? It was games on Mondays, weren't they? Oh, that's not to be Monday.

I got a book on next week. Louiswell podcast on his own already. I'm asking for it, I'm just saying. He's always a Bobby's house. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Aamurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Sarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I don't know why he slipped through the cracks Plus me and Lewis have a long history Yeah, just fingers

If I was in jail I would lose to be myself me Because it seems like he's hairless I mean like if we were lifers and we're gonna be doing stuff to each other, I think he's gonna be fighting, I was his name Jason Ellis. Ellis. Yeah. He's gonna give us ass handed to him.

You think? Jason Ellis offered to fight me with one arm tied behind his back and I said, fucking done deal. And he's like, you know, mate, I fought MMA MMA fights before I'm like, I don't give a fuck I'm 200 pounds heavier than you I box and I fuck and you got one fucking arm then I get off the air nervous Like don't do it. He'll kill you know, I was like, okay, I'm out I'm gonna get my ass kicked back I have with one arm Who's that?

That's him that's Alice I say to Alice. I like him. I think he's funny. I do like him too. And I'm glad he the last like year or two. He finally just came. He was just like, you know what? I'm bisexual. I don't care. What? Yeah. What the fuck did that come from? He sleeps here. He likes guys. I don't care, but these things are shocking to me. Why? Because I'm not. And I'm very heterosexual. So when somebody says they're bisexual, that you never expected, it's a shock. I don't think any less of him. I don't think anything. I'm a good friend. He's fucking happy. But I could look at Jason Ellis and tell you I think he's a good looking guy, but I don't want to fuck him.

Well, that's a hot picture. Yeah. Jason Albus is a little sex with men and being by. Yeah, so I love that. I like when guys are just like, fuck it. I'm not hiding it. This is way. It was so sick. Like to be by and single. I was like, he's fucking awesome. Whoever you want. I don't think he's single though.

I think he has a girl. Oh, Mary. He has married. Yeah, he's married. Oh, but they're open, obviously. Yeah, I mean, don't think so. I'm fucking side queer. So, oh, so do I.

Road is everyone. Everybody in it. I'm fucking side queer. So oh, so do I. Road is everyone. Everybody. Let's get into this show list. J more. Who? Nor in. Oh, Norton. Side. Norton side straight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Side backwards. Munch. Nice. Um, I would say 80% of the guests on the show. Yeah, of course. Which is really, which is really surprising to me.

You think, wait a minute, you think I'm side gay. Oh, for sure. Side queer? For sure. And still my number one. You have no evidence. Because you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you tells you you're way wrong. That is 100% man would fake this. That's not. Science does not tell me that, okay?

Biology tells you the DNA, which makes up our very body structure tells you that that is DNA wise, amen. I do not, that Bailey J is so much a fucking woman. A beautiful, transgendered woman. Oh my God. Right. A bond girl. Right now, I'd be like, yes, let's bang.

And then she'd show me her giant dong. And I'd be like, I got a pass. And I'm sure she wouldn't care. Yes, she has. And it's huge. Yeah. Oh my God, she's so pretty. You like what you like, Gabby?

I agree with you 100% good for Jason Ellis that he's able to live a happy life and fuck whoever he wants him and everybody else. Now, you back to you being side-guer. Yep, back to me, let's go. You are fine making sweet love to belly J knowing that she has a huge con. I first of all, we kiss fuck. What does that mean? I'm not familiar with kiss fuck.

Kiss fuck. Yeah, you say it again. I still don't know what it means. I mean, I could put 200 together kissing while you're fucking. Yeah, like I'm I grabbed like she grabbed I grab her and she grabs me and we fucking we make out and we fuck That's what you're talking. What are you talking about? No, kiss fuck What? Yeah, it's like you really into it. You gotta be making it. You't like, you're making out real fucking like you're fucking, your mouth's a fucking and you're a fucking. So you're making out with our mouth.

And she's like, we're mouth, we're mouth fucking. Let's out, let's kiss fuck. And then all of a sudden she's penetrating your bum hole. No, I don't get penetrated. I can't have, Listen, I can't have some. All right, all right. You penetrate her bum hole. Giant wing, huge wind the knees every time you fuck her. Yeah, her balls keep bumping into my fucking my belly button hernia. You will. Well, I just finished.

Joe Wall said, Bobby, keep smoking keep smoking used to guy like that. You're not helping your argument. I can't use for Joey's not arguing it. I mean, look, if you got to go by standard, like black and white, I would, I guess I, you know, I've, I've, I've had three Sims with guy friends. Well so high, but I've never touched the other guy I never touched the other guy either But I never looked at the other guy and with each other that's that's naturally sexual. I did high five a couple of friends of mine where we're doing it. That's the thing. Fucking devil horns. You believe this is happening, Dane could. Dane never did it with Dane.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, never did it with Dane. Dane is a monster though, man. Dane is a- You're right. Dane doesn't seem like you'd share with you. He is a monster. He is a-

That was a good way. Like he's- He knows how to bang, you know what I mean? He's a, I've peaked in a couple of times. You know, like, look, be like, whoa shit, I'm walking out. I'm, you know, I remember, I have a 10th of the time we met witches. This is back in, this is back in bean town, right? I was probably at my fucking one of my hottest ever, right?

And with DownReview Beach, it was kind of a hang. When you drive your car down, you get a roast beef sandwich. You sit over by the wall. There's all kinds of chicks and the cars go up. So me and Dana are out there. And this girl sticks her head out. She goes, nice ass. Something like that, Tamara, you like that? She's smoking hot blonde. I'm like, yeah, Polo was, they pulled up, we stopped talking to him.

We're like, let's hang out. They're like, we're going back to a place in Salem. We're like, all right, cool. So we follow them back to their place and they live in this like fucking house from the 1600s. You know what I mean? It's got like, you know, the fucking, the bottom of the house touches the pavement, you know, I mean, it's got like, you know, the, the, the, the fucking, the, the bottom of the house touches the pavement, you know, like the charm house. Yeah, it used

to be like a, they had a root seller in the basement, you know, they open the fridge and all they had was I have a new. We go up, they live in the top of part, which is basically a converted attic. And, and they, they start telling it, oh, we'll, we'll, which is basically a converted attic and they, they start telling it, oh, we're witches. And I was like, a fuck, we're in Salem. And then they go, we'll be right back and they just start showering together. And I'm like, panicking. I'm like, oh, they're gonna fucking hacks us. They're gonna kill us. They're gonna do something. Dame picks up the guitar and he starts playing it. And they come out naked. And I'm like, team, what are we doing? What's going on? He goes, Bobby, get your fucking shit together.

Room. What's up, ladies? And he's not playing the song. I used to live with my buddy Pete. I used to hang up with this chick that was so, she was the hostess. I met her at a restaurant. Yeah. Like this little petite thing with short blonde hair. was so she was the hostess I met at a restaurant. Yeah, it was like this little petite thing with short blonde hair. Yeah. The first night I got her home. I had no idea. Took her close-up. She was covered in fucking tattoos. It was hot, but I had no idea. I'm being like black ones too. Like, anyway, so Pete comes in my bed one night and I'm on the bed and he hears a shower. So he just opens a bathroom door and thinks I'm in there and he pokes his head and he goes, hey, an old senior, hi. And he goes, Okay, my bad. And he closes

the door. He goes, Dennis Robbins and you're about to walk out. Jesus Christ. Yeah, no more sex talk, though. It's all done. Huh? What? It's all done. What's done? Sex talk. Well, it's not. Yeah.

You're white talking? No, I mean, people don't want to hear that shit anymore. Yeah, they do. You just don't be gross or creepy. Yeah, just from the gross that you want to jam her fingers and a boyfriend of the. Yeah, that's fine. I asked him.

He said, no, I'm not going to do it. What is gross and creepy? You know, no. Don't laugh about, you know, what was that one video going around where that guy, that comic was laughing about having girls blow him to get spots at, uh, ADS. Yeah. I wasn't going to say it. Um, I don't be fucking creepy like that, you don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.

I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.

I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.

I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I had a girl make me a book one time, just point that out. And that's Romantics in a sad way. And wrote it in her blimmers. Yeah, fuck pilgrims. It's consensually. What do you mean?

Oh, by the way, I confirmed that she was, I found her on her occupation one, I knew that she was above board, she was a forest Ranger. She was a forest Ranger. She was a forest Ranger. You begged a dim-witted forest Ranger. Which ironically was named my first band. The forest, franchise. Dim-witted forest Ranger. She's wanted to have been that fucked up. She was in charge of a forest. I'm going to force Frank. Dimitri's heart. She wanted to have been that fucked up.

She was in charge of a forest. Yeah, she had a little she locked up in dusk. Get lighting fires. Oh, man, the worst is she blew me in my firebird with teetops. Roll that sounds hot. Look at Gabby's face that makes your citrus stomach. Oh, I just don't know what it that is. A fire, a firebird. Yeah, I'm in my 20s.

I don't I have a G-carrot. It's a fucking car. It's not a candy from my youth. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, off that you would have to take these glass panels off the top of your roof and put them in bags and then put them in your trunk. Wow. So you want to hear the funniest thing is that one time I'm driving that car over the bridge,

there was a windy winter day in Florida, and I could hear my teeth have rattling and I looked up and I could see that the lock wasn't on. And I reached up to put the lock on and the wind went, just pulled it right off my car. And I watched it go over my car and into the water and then the big splash come up. I was like, fuck, it was so cool. I almost let the other one go. And I realized there was a guy behind me on a motorcycle and I was so grateful that the first one didn't fly off and hit that guy because I would just kept going. Oh my god. That's fucking hilarious. Oh shit. The chat's asking what your thoughts on Joey Diaz's thing are.

I mean, I don't know. I haven't listened to it. I don't really fucking, I'm not into really gossip, man. I'm not into the fucking all this bullshit. I like Joey Diaz, man. I think he's a fucking great guy. He's from a different generation where things were different back then. If he doesn't give a fuck and his fans don't give a fuck, okay, fine, man, I don't give a fuck either. You know what I'm saying? I know Joey, he's a fucking great guy. He's always been nice to me. I know, look, you talk about rock bands, you know, every rock band, I mean, all that crazy shit,

how do you get backstage? Look at all the movies with rock bands. It's always a fucking girl blowing, fucking some dude at a gate toabes to blow the drummer. I mean, that's different. Oh, why? Because there's no, they're not trying to reach a career goal by blowing you. He was laughing about, listen, he was watching about this. Let me just correct you real quick. A career goal, right? Don't kid yourself, hook it up with fuck, becoming, hook it up with a lead singer of a band and becoming his girlfriend, and then maybe eventually becoming his wife and fucking never and being set for life

is a career goal at some point. Yeah. What Joey Diaz is talking about is that girls were blowing him to get stage time girls who wanted a blow rock stars Their goal was to blow rock stars. Thank God bless. It was What before what To fuck them for however knows how lie why would they different than any the guy that they knew down the street? What what were they getting out of it?

different than any the guy that they knew down the street. What were they getting out of it? What were they getting? But what were they getting out of it? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes you just don't know. No, that's not true. They were super seeding a line that couldn't get past. They didn't have the VIP ticket. They didn't, they weren't a member of the band. They weren't part of the absolute. You're just a girl going to the show, but if you blow that guy, you get backstage to be with the guy you wanna be with. That's having a, that's doing something sexual to get somewhere. Same thing, it's the same thing.

It has nothing to do with your career. Congrats, you blew a guy in a cement room that's curing off. That's different than like wanting to get walking in your dad's body. I said details. So that's what every backstage looks like. It's a cement brick room with a one

curtain and a book with chips. Let me answer your question. Joey Diaz comes out and says and I'm choosing a friend. For example, yeah, that's that's the way I was in the in the 90s. Now I realize how fucked up that is. I should never done that. Then what?

If he genuinely means it, then God bless you grew. Yeah, but everybody grows. I'm not the same guy I was back then. I would never I would never do that shit and admit it on a fucking podcast. I think it was stupid. It was stupid. It was stupid to laugh about. On a, listen, it's a comedy fucking show. Okay. And it's not fucking TRL. It's not fun to do you. But it was funny. And you're saying that unless it's funny to you it's

not funny his fans find him hilarious his fans might not have the same values you have his fans girls and guys might think differently than you so who are you to say because I don't think it's morally right or funny it's wrong that's I mean you can that, but I just don't agree with it.

You can say it. But my sister OEG has is funny. Like, I think his comedy is funny. I've seen him live. He's funny. I don't think laughing about like, I don't, I know, I understand, but that's the way you feel. And that's why you don't hang out with people like that.

But we don't talk like you're on a podcast that maybe we don't do that stuff. I think it's different being a female comic in the comedy world and you deal with creepy shit and like understanding where that is coming from. Look, but it's it's hard for women anywhere being a waitress is hard for women being being a anything is hard for women because there's always sex involved. Okay. So being a female comic is, yeah, it's it's hard. But the I know that everywhere. I know guys that have been sexually assaulted from female, famous female comedians that have done shit, that that have done shit, that if they were called out

on it, they would be fucking canceled, but they wouldn't be because they're female. That's probably not true. Uh, yeah, probably is. If you call out a sexual assault, I'm sure. I don't know. I just don't think that, you know, he's got a fan base that is, and he's like, whatever, look, would I do that? Would I, I don't fuck with standup comedians, anyways, I don't did a girl with a headshot. That was my fucking rule. If you have a headshot,

I want nothing to do with you. Sure, but like just because your fans are laughing, does that mean one guy in the KKK has a bunch of fans and he's talking about fuck black people and everyone's like he is fans. Let them think what they will probably you're bringing up the KKK like there's no variables. There's no levels of shit. No, I'm just making you racist. You're either a racist piece of shit or you're not. I'm just making a comparison. There's no comparison. That's not the comparison, Gabby. I don't understand. I'm talking about a guy. You're talking about a guy who's done fucked up shit. And like if you found out your dad did some weird shit like that to a girl backstage to get, hey, you want tickets? You want to hang with us? You got to do

this with that. Would you be mad? Yeah. And you'd call him out and have him say, fucking, you'd call him out on Twitter and get him canceled and have all the people on Twitter. I would go up to him. I'm like, why are you? But you grip. Okay, that's fine, but that's not what's happening. They're trying to take away everything from this guy.

I think that if he came out and was like, listen, I fucked up. I think it says more about the comedy industry than it does about Joe E.D.S. Look, I don't, I don't agree. Like I would never say to a girl, hey, you have to blow me for something. I would only, the only thing that turns me on is when I say it is important. When a girl wants to, when a girl wants to be with me, that's the only thing that turns me on. I wouldn't, I hate having to get a girl into me. The only way that really turns me on is when a girl fucking is into me.

When a girl's like, I want to fucking be with you. That was it. So to say, hey, you can do this, but you gotta do this. I'm not into that. That's not my thing. That's what you would say. Well, I haven't listened to it.

I'll have to listen to it, but I'm sure, you know, you'd have to, you'd have to do. What about the girls who did it? Are they mad? They may not even exist. He's kind of talking shit. Yeah, he's an e-combellicist story. Well, I say something too. I've learned about all the love of these LA guys.

They make up a lot of shit just to have stories. I'm serious. I've learned this too that they're trying to do these things. Remember Brad Williams did that whole thing. We made just lied about something to have something that he thought would be funny and interesting. And then it's like, you know, I don't know. And that's more about him. Look then what it's like, you know, I don't know. Look at how it's turned. How it's turned. Did all that weird shit back in the day. You know, he, I mean,

he said the N word and all the shit. He came on and goes, Oh, great. That was where I was at. I'm not there now. And there you go. Outdone by nobody said. That's part of the reason why you get so away with it, because if Joey Diaz were going to follow it up with, I can't believe we used to be like that and things change about love, then it would be more acceptable, but because they left that end, they celebrated it still almost like you still like, I'd fucking do it again tomorrow, you know what I mean? I'm not saying, I didn't listen to it, I'm going by what I heard tonight. I'm just saying, it's, I get what Gabby is is saying and I get what you're saying.

And in the shit that happened in the past, happened in the past, but if you still haven't changed for the past, then you're the same fucking guy and you deserve what's coming to you. I think it's going to be a whole different ballpark. I mean, from Max, I have that bit in my act, but it's like it's going to be hard to teach Max about women because I can't use any of my techniques. What do you mean? My technique is bleep. Well, you dig out.

What if she says no, just say, I go, come on. That was my technique. Come on. It's like a cute and just make your dick look real cute for a couple of seconds. Cute. Well, that's how I got fucking dawn. You're a a face on it. Yeah, draw a little happy face like this. Great kiss me. Come on. Yeah, it's a, I look, I think all the stuff that's happened and is I think it's all good. I think kids are gonna grow up healthier.

They're gonna have way less fucking sex issues about sex. They're gonna fucking, they're, I mean, it's great for everybody, good. But I just don't like when people just go back and to a cloud chase, go back and try to take everybody out for things that happened in the past. Sometimes I think though, because it happened to another comic a couple weeks ago, a theme

of comic. And I'm like, someone's digging for a reason, you know, like maybe like this one comic that called out, got called out, was like very alt and very like perceivably woke. But you must have been a real bitch for someone to be like, you know, fuck you. I'm going to go digging, you know, this is going to this canceled culture is going to fucking turn on itself because people are going to get so used to it that they're not going to give a fuck. And now the people that really need to be have things taken seriously thinking, but again, whatever, You're just canceling people.

It's what they do. And you know, these trolls exist out there. There's a guy who's a troll on Reddit changed his profile pic to a black guy. Black lives matter. He put then went into a thing and just started talking stuff. And he got like, fuck at a hundred thousand likes. And he's a troll. He's not even real. He doesn't give a fuck about anybody. He was just trying to fuck with this one person and got all these people to fuck with him. And he's not even a black guy. He's some white guy troll. His name is Arisha here. The internet. The internet's a fucking. I would love to delete it all. Yeah. Except for the show. That's it.

swear to God, I love being in a room with just fans that know who you are, know when you're kidding, can take you serious, they like what you do, and there you go. I think that's what comedy is headed is you're just going to have your fucking fans. They'll show up at your shows, you'll be famous, you'll be able to sell tickets, we can sell tickets, make your money and people are happy. Being fucking ultra famous, they just attack you. They go after you. They go after everyone. Mark Norman, they're going after. Or what?

Same shit. Bandoot cute. That's being too adorable. It's all over the socket place. Yeah, yeah, going after everybody. I can't believe Jason Ellis is bisexual. That is blown by my mind. A ball that takes you everywhere.

You can't believe that. I mean, no. I don't know. I just tune it. So that's all that I do now. You can tell by your face, your eyes crossed. What the hell? Your eyes spun like a slot machine. Cause I hit a fucking cup of Dicks last night. So, so is it true? Joe's wife was like, well, come on. I got you all up here. Let's just do it. Oh my god. Why would you say that? Oh, don't tell me. Oh, you stop with your

fucking dumb shit that you do. He's such an instigator. He's such a, he just makes shit up and says it. It's such a fucking asshole. You really are. You're a great actor too, by the way. I didn't ever give you this. You're a great actor. I'm a good WWE actor. Yeah. Yeah. your great actor. I'm a good WWE actor. Yeah, yeah. I mean, let me tell you something. Don would never do it, but I'd love to get her up hiking into a temperature. She fuck you if there's not a shower and a regular toilet. She's not going. All right, so that brings us to our next conversation, which is why our wives get along. So are you going to come here? wives get along. So are you going to come here? Well, Don read your text wrong. Don read your wife's text wrong. Okay. Because she said she feels so bad. She read that as she's very sick. No, she feels bad emotionally because she doesn't want to screw up your vacation plans.

We, right. She, my wife tested positive after I tested positive. I have still been asymptomatic. I had one day where I had a headache and I feel fine. My daughter is fine. I think she had it. She's staying at my mother's house. My son got tested today.

He's fine. No symptoms. So I think by the time you get here, everything will be fine. My kids will have antibodies, we'll test for antibodies, but it's cutting it pretty close. So we didn't want you guys to come here, not knowing with the dates being so close. You know what I mean?

Also, we could cancel and do it a little bit later on. In the month, like, I want to do what you're comfortable with. Well, I mean, nobody, but the kids are going to, I just, how'd you just care about your kids getting it? No, I, Joey got tested today. And I'm positive Julianna had it. I mean, Julianna is going to get tested probably for anybody's next, but no, I'm not. I mean, when I had it, I had already been living in the house with it, and I didn't know that's how my wife got it. And I'm all over my kids. And Joey didn't get, you didn't even get sick. So he took, he took the two tests. He took

the antibody tests on the nose to wipe tests. So by the end of this week, we'll know if Joey has it. So really a man is the only one we have to worry about. I don't know what kind of airline ticket you have. So I don't know if they're refundable, if you have the cancel at a certain time. Refundable, but you know, it's, I don't know, like I don't give a fuck because I have the antibodies. I'm pretty sure Max added. Dawn doesn't have it, didn't get it. And you know, I don't want to go on vacation and then I'm fucking, you know, now I got to fucking, I got to do the bills, the dishes and the laundry because,

you know, dawn's gone. You know, I'm going to have to be somebody quick. She gets it from my family. She won every symptoms. Yeah. My mic is sensitive. What do you think you can hear everything? When you talk loud, and then I talk, it your shut yours out. Why is that? Because you have your settings wrong, and I don't know how to fix it because I didn't set mine out. Yeah.

Like I get here, your walls breathing. My walls are breathing? Yeah, I get here at whatever noise you have a fan or whatever it is in the background. Oh really, I do have a fan. All right, I'll fix that. It have a fan, whatever is in the background. Oh, really? I do have a fan. All right, I'll fix that. It's not bad.

Is that better? No. That's not better. Okay, we'll fix it. I'm on the fly because that's what it, and you sound fine. You sound fine. I don't know, Mike.

I really, I was, I mean, this is, I was so looking forward to this. And you're fucking that. We got a dog watcher. We, you know, people. I really, I was, I mean, this is, I was so looking forward to this. And there you two fucking have a dog watcher. We, you know, people are going to stay at the house where flying out, it was going to be fucking epic. I mean, I was like, what's that? My pool is all pervading. They lowered the temperature.

So it's not as warm. Thank God. Fucking Jesus Christ. I showed you the picture. They got the alligator out of the back. We're ready for you guys. That was not your alligator. That was a 17 foot fuckin' monster. And it was from somewhere else, okay? It was not on the third hole. I'm sorry.

But I don't know. I don't know. I think that, uh, smoke a brisket. Yeah, I know. You know, I mean a Boston butt tonight. What? I know. You know, I mean, a Boston butt tonight. What? I got a Boston butt right here for you. I put it on at 10 o'clock in the morning and I just ate it right before the show. I don't know. What the fuck?

What do we do? Well, I mean, look, let's wait until midweek. Let's wait till Thursday. You know, we have a couple of days. Joey will get his results back and then we'll know what's happened. Yeah, I mean, how many weeks is it away? It's not. It's a week from this Thursday. Jesus Christ.

Fucking a. I love the, this is on YouTube right now and the trolls on YouTube are fucking the the Patreon people hate the trolls on YouTube Yeah, I'm having to silence a lot of people Why was on what I love how come I can't read this I love to read it to listen It's just nonsense. I mean, what is it? You talk to us talk to us. Talk to us. Just keep putting our IP Joe Rogan over and over again Oh, that's country shit. It's just I not even like again. What do I call you fat a bunch? That's it. Me? No. Oh, yeah, that I'm sad. How do you not get away with fat? I mean, it's unfuckable able to me. You're like Patrice. You don't Patrice. No one never calls you guys fat. Oh, I wouldn't say never. Gabby has like three times tonight alone. That's true. That's a joke.

three times tonight alone. That's true. That's a joke. Well, you know, I still hurt my fucking feelings, Gabby. Yeah, Gabby. That's very acting. That was my acting. That was my acting. I'm sorry, and I've changed. You. All right. I forgive you. Change accepted. Yeah, your fact. Yeah, I'll be silly. I don't have any feelings. So don't fall for that. That's what we should start, Mark, of fat shaming thing. So anybody who's called us fat, we can cancel Gabby. What about this? We'll play these things if we're calling her, you call it a fat fat. So I'm going to every time I mean you cry in the video, like, you know, I know that we're heavy, but sometimes you know, we're trying to do something about it and having a young, perfect girl with blonde hair and, you know, all I heard was perfect.

I have a question, maybe Gary, can I please don't say any names? Cause I don't need a lawsuit. I used to work for a guy who used to make guys take their dicks out so that he could see him because he was impressed by the size of him. He used to want me to rub his head and wear a loan. He'd be like, I think we rub my head and I'm like, are you fucking serious? And I was like straight out of New York. So I was like, well, fuck yourself and not rub anybody's head.

That guy I think could have got fucking whacked into me too thing. Yeah. He was, yeah, but nobody ever wanted to come. I was the only one who came on and said it all the time, because he was the boss of all the people that he used to do it to. Who is this a famous person? It's a, yes, it's so many people know. But famous in like rock and roll movies. There was so many in radio, there was so many, don't say famous in like rock and roll movies.

There was somebody in radio. It was somebody don't say any names that I can't afford another lawsuit. Okay. But it was somebody that I would end in the managerial position. I mean, did you show him your pack up? No. But other guys did. Why?

Well, I was not, I was not falling for any of those fucking rain air games. I, you know, I was telling P.D. other than I'm in a fraternity. And when I was in a fraternity, there was no, I was trying to explain to my son, nobody fucking, nobody did gays stuff to me. Nobody whacked me with a paddle. Nobody did any of that shit. We went through our own fucking hell stuff, but I was the first one to go. I'm not doing any of that shit. So I wasn't taking my pecker out. I'm sorry. It's funny. I just don't understand why guys. I like meeting a girl and fucking trying to

get it, you know, trying to get something going physically, mentally, the whole game, and then kissing, and then touching and loving, and then seeing where it went. I mean, that whole process of just like meeting a girl and, you know, trying to kind of, you know, fall, you know, get into some ecstasy and love real quick and making out and all that shit. I don't understand why you have to do all these little tricks. Why you have to come up with all these little fucking, why would you supersede the fucking good part about fucking around with somebody, which is the, you know, talking, flirting, red light green lights, and then the kiss, and then touch in and fucking, you

know, see what I mean? I love all that shit's the interest of part of sex. You're the supersier. You're the one who takes your daycams like what's up? Well, I mean, at some point you got to take it out and let us see what you got. Yeah, I mean, that's funny. Someone just wrote the fucking chat. The who the guy you're talking about, they said it. It sounds like they did his name. It sounds like, yeah, I know, I know, I know. It was very funny. It made me laugh.

I met in the chat for the record. I have no idea what they're saying. Lou wrote talking is overrated. That's my kind of girl. That's right, Lou. Let's get right to it. Lou, a girl. Yes. You never figured out if you're creepy. What's that? She also said she doesn't find either of you creepy.

I don't find you guys creepy. Well, Sharon, he sent you one of the sexual bobby and she'd pick Bobby over me. No. But gradually, and I think it's because she's known me a little longer, I secretly think it's you. Well, that's not secret time. I don't know what that means, you fucking side queer,

but listen, that's my favorite. Yeah, what a fucking weird time. It's a weird, I wonder if the generation before this went through this. I wonder if my grandfather went through this and my, you know, my stepdad went through this. Like, I wonder. My grandmother died last year. She was 91. And I used to call her on it. For years, I've been calling her on the year. I'm a two with 90, 91.

And I used to call her on, for years, I've been calling her on the air. Like everybody knows her. So I asked her one time and she was like, probably a minute late 80s. I call her up one day and I go, who in our family is gay? And she's like, I don't know, and why would you ask me that? She got all upset and I go, think about it. Statistically, we have to have more gay people in our family. There's only one that I could think of, and even that guy is, I think, bisexual.

So who are the other ones? Oh, she was so fucking annoyed that I asked her that. But think about it now. I mean, how many causes of gay people there must have been in my family? Yeah. Statistically, there has to be. So much people in my family are gay. Oh, what? So what's all my family are gay? Oh, what?

So many people in my family are gay. Yeah, it's well, supposedly they aren't in my family, but I'm sure they are. All right. That generation of people sex, like my grandfather, you don't talk about sex. You don't, you know what I mean? I mean, I was about to go and they slept in separate beds. They would have sex and go back to their bed. You know, um know what I mean? I mean, that was about when they slept in separate beds. They would have sex and go back to their bed, you know, um, what's that kind of sounds awesome to have your own room now. So I have my own room five nights a week and it's pretty fucking fantastic.

And I bet my wife loves it even more than I do. I don't like it. I don't want my wife's. She'll fall asleep with Max. They'll go in and read a book and she'll fall asleep. And sometimes she doesn't come to the bed. I can't like it. I don't when my wife's she'll fall asleep with Max. They'll go in and read a book and she'll fall asleep and Sometimes she doesn't come to the bed. I can't sleep. I don't sleep right I don't I if she's not in the bed with me. I fucking you guys cuddle Yeah, some nights will cuddle I'll reach over and we'll hold hands. Well my wife's not into that at all

She's never been in the entire like not when we're sleeping. I don't mean. I mean, like we still in the couch and she's all up on my shit. But I mean, like at night, she doesn't want me to hold her or not. She wants to turn over and go to sleep. My wife at one point will fucking let go and whip over to the other side and kick the covers absolutely. Yeah. You know, you won't snuggle all night. She'll snuggle for a couple minutes. And then you can feel her fingers stop moving on my hand. And then she got to like slips out and then rolls over. I finally got away. Yes, she finally got away from her fucking attacker. Um, did you guys do the bang bang? No, we don't like is we're gonna die at die at. Well, we could still do a bang bang. Just got it a whole 30 bang bang. We could do it. Yeah, we could still do a bang bang. Just got to do a whole 30 bang bang. We

could do it. Yeah, we could do a whole 30 bang bang. When we're if I do come, I really want to go. I don't want to cancel anything. I don't want you to cancel it. We would just have to be careful in your house. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Hey, so we have I made reservations. We have reservations on 4th of July. We're going to see everybody, Joe, a cafe about Boso on Sunday. We're locked in. And I took that guy's advice. I made a baker in the wife reservations for Friday. I say, I say we keep everything intact. Let me talk to my chick. And then, you know, you're here's the thing. You're not going to fuck us if you don't come. We're going either way.

Yeah, I know, but I it's it's yeah. Yep, I know, but it's kind of it's I mean, it would suck, wouldn't it? If we don't come, yes, we were dying for you to come. Like my daughter is so fucking excited. You know, that big playhouse that my daughter has in the back yard? Oh my god. So I bought furniture and rug for it and everything, so the kids got a ball. All right, well, I guess we'll make a decision tomorrow. Let me talk to Don, you know. Put your foot down and be like, we're going. We're your fucking mask, we're going.

Take that headband and move it down over your nose because we're going. But here's the thing. I almost say, look, if we're gonna go out on the plane, if we go to the airport, we'll go to the restaurants, we have to be, you know what I mean? We have to be careful anyways. So if we're at their house, we just have to, we have to be, you know what I mean? We have to be careful anyways. So for at their house, we just have to be careful.

You can't stay six feet away from everybody. If we're at the place, we can kind of stay away from people, you know? But when is the contagious thing over 14 days? No, the quarantine they wanted, a quarantine for 14 days, but it's already been, it's already been over a week. For me, it's already been two weeks. What about, so for her, it's already a week. It's over a week. So by the time we go, it's going to be two weeks. Yes. That's 14 days. Right. And we, and she's not moved. She's quarantine. And she's not moved. She's quarantine. And she's not sick. There's scally girl cold.

Like you know, exactly what I had. I'm going to talk to her tonight. I think we should go. But whatever I told her, it's up to her. Whatever she said, I will not. Whatever she feels comfortable with. I mean, we'll take the hit on the airfare, I guess. And, you know, whatever.

I mean, that's, you know, you know, what are you going to do? You know, I'm just going to have to, you know, I don't know. that's, you know, you know, what are you gonna do? You know, I'm just gonna have to, you know, I don't know. I don't fucking know. I wanna go. I'm ready to go. I wanna get the fuck out. I wanna go down there.

Well, the July fucking restaurants. But now everybody I talked to was like, fucking, Tampa is fucked. All the people have fucking. Everybody has, I'm like, well, how many people are dying? Nobody. Are you sure? people have fucking everybody has, and I'm like, well, how many people are dying? Nobody. Are you sure? Please, diet. Look at me.

I mean, I mean, you're definitely, how would you use you? Come, why? What? What? What? Oh, look at that little mouth thing you did. That was sexy.

Two things for quick. Brian from the Patreon got his Tushy today. He said it's working great. The best thing ever. Great. I love the Tushy. And then you stored once a note, did you keep that Russian hat you had in that shoot you did? Me? Yeah. What Russian hat? Said you had a sexy Russian hat and you use in a shoot. Oh, yes, I do. Look at that ass. Oh, those those photos are just fucking they've haunted me for fucking years.

Wanted sexy fucking Bobby. I did all these photos with a hat and fucking Xbox remote and a scarf. I had a scarf on sexy. They were talking about when your father on last, I'm like, I have his Russian ass. Which father? Gabby's father. Oh. Yeah, I said, crumbum said a bunch of restaurants in his town are closing again. All the restaurants are closing again. A bunch here and tested too. Yeah, everything's going back. Fuck you. Close. I don't care because we got a full fucking kitchen where we're staying and I'll cook every night away after. Well, Uber eats in every fucking night if we have to. All right, well, let's get it done. Gabby's lost fucking full fucking energy. She came

in hot. You guys are making like making logistics. This is the only way I like to talk. I don't like to talk on the phone and Bobby on text. So we have to hammer everything out here on the podcast. That's true. I don't like texting. And he hits the phone. After we sign off, he'll call me. I won't answer. Then we'll text later and then we'll talk him. And so it's so it's true that you don't answer. The lies you've told me. Another room or I was doing something else. It was a lie. When we sign off here, I go and do work for a while. I do commercials and stuff. I have to cut commercials and other production stuff. So I do that before I go to bed so that I'm ready for tomorrow You just put on such bad voice

When I'm done here when I'm done here. Yeah That's my work And then we go to bed If only I talked to my kids like that Can't we look like Cameron Diaz and Charlie's Angels? That's an awesome compliment. Thank you. Okay. I you don't have to I know it was a compliment So, can't we look at Cameron Diaz and Charlie's Angels? That's an awesome compliment, thank you. Okay, you don't have to, I know it was a compliment.

I gave it, you don't have to fucking give me a check mark. I know, I know. I know. I can't even say thank you. Just say thank you. Don't say that's awesome. Like you get defensive. Don't be so defensive.

That wasn't defensive. Oh my God, give me a compliment. Let me show you what you did. Say something to me. I think your head is perfectly round in a cool way. That's a compliment. And yeah, that's awesome. So I'll take it. I said it like that. Yeah. You fucking did. I meant like that's a really good compliment. Thank you so much. Wow. I'm honored. Way better. Way better.

I think it's I think it's what his head. No, it's it's I love it. Top of his perfect. Are you in New York? Who mush Friday, I'll be for the weekend. Then I come back and then I have to get some stuff. Are you not coming back to New York ever?

Oh, I am. Once the studio is back open, I will be. Okay. Don't look at the camera. Don't look down. I'm not down. I'm up. Look up to to your right.

I look at Gary the whole show. I know you do. All right. Well, listen, this has been a fucking, I'm sorry about Gary. He's in a rough spot. It was going to be fun. Gary Goldman had a grot as my stash. And he cannot be on the show tonight.

Yeah, it's taking up a lot of time. You look like a swashmuckler. We will get somebody, we will get somebody else. Doesn't he look like, you know you know, gangster New York, uh, Oh, the, the butcher. What they get with the glass eye. Yeah, the butcher. He looks exactly like, what's that actor's name?

It's fucking Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel Lewis. He looks like Daniel, Daniel Lewis right now. Wow. That's a good one. That's a very good one, Gabby. I know what the good one. That's why I said it.

Thanks. Like, can you put up? Can you pull up Buckco Bruce real quick? Bucko what? Bucko Bruce the old 10 baby buckeniers logo. That's what he looks like. Yes, it's not quick. Can you just say pull it up? Don't add the word quick or fast. Would you be surprised? If one day, yeah one day, oh no, the one there.

Oh, there you go. Oh, shit. That would have been great if he was here. I love that. Would you be surprised one day if you woke up and text mushed in, text your back and then you text me and I'm like, I don't know. And then Ellen text one of us and was like, I'm a friend of bad news. Mike jumped off the bridge last night.

Oh, don't say that. Please don't say that, Mike. Not funny. Like heart attack. I didn't say it to be funny. I said, would you be surprised? Mike, I would, first of all, that breaks my heart because little mushy, you know, when Gabby beat him at that rose battle so badly, I thought that was kind of, oh, I want to see that. Where is that? Do you ever? That was a hot one.

Which most basically at one point was just like, yeah, you can't, your dad's rich. I said three jokes that nobody got, but Rick Krohn got the next day. What were they? Do you remember them? I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun.

I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun.

I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. I said, that would be a lot of fun. and chubby, tiff, fucking cock sucker. We knew the way you, here's the thing, the reason why you said it with a hatred. It literally came out like real. Like it wasn't a joke.

You and we were like, oh, God, what the fuck was that? And her fast joke was something you told me the night at the, the lesbian Jolti. She doesn't even know why that jerk was funny. Attacking me. He's attacking me for no reason. What is it? What were your jokes? Not very good. Let's watch.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at me. Everything he tries to get me back for that one roast battle that didn't matter every time I make fun of you, you get butt hurt. So I don't make fun of you on the show anymore. I listen. I watch his roast battle somewhere. Can we watch it next week, Gab? Sure. It's a, it's on roast battle somewhere. Well, can we watch it next week, Gab?

Sure, it's on gas digits also where? But mush, we'll get it from Lewis. Maybe we have Lewis on next week. Musch and I are never going to get along and it's your fault because you keep every time we get into a good place, you just bring it back up and you bring it back up and then he you reignite his hate for me and then it's going to be a cycle trauma. Can I say something Gabby? What? and then you reignite his hate for me and that it's gonna be a cycle trauma. Can I say something Gabby?

He needs to get over that. The reason why I brought it up is because of Gabby. Oh, who you man at? I'm out of myself for not doing like a job that night. See that Gab, he worked through it. Right? You like shine it over here. Because every time I make one of Gabby, it doesn't? You like shine it over here.

Because every time I make one of Gabby, it doesn't come off like a joke. It comes off like with a tone of voice. Like I'm angry at my wife. So it's I can't, you know what? I mean, you know, I mean, yes. So it doesn't come off like it's funny. So I can't make fun of her yet,

because it's not coming out right. See that Gabby, he learned, he changed. You see, he's hot. He can change. And you can change. And I can change. Michael never change. We can all change.

But how come it's funny when Bobby gets on every day and then salt's Gabby and says she's ugly and. And he said she's ugly. Because he loves that she's ugly. But I've never said she's ugly. I said. He loves me. I do. I love her. But I've never said she's ugly. I said she's a Jersey six. And it's obvious satire because it's just so unrealistic that people just assume right away that it's a joke. He's like, I fucking grossed out by the thought of you sexually. That's what he says. Yeah. People around the world heard that and gasped. Fucking whatever.

I remember we first started doing this show and Bobby tags me up to go, you really think Gabby's pretty? I go, yeah, he's real pretty. He's like, yeah. Wow, it makes me worried for him mentally. First of all, that was a text to you. And now I know, be careful what I text you. No, you've said the same thing on the air. Who's that? Who else did?

Nobody. I need to say hi. No, I don't want you saying hi to anybody. Why? What if it was what I have, you've lost your high privileges when you treat my family like listeners. No, no, I have to rebuild the my relationship with my aunt. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Because he fucking treated Maxi like a fucking like a homeless person that eats fucking fucches for fucking $50. That's why he did his fucking radio shit to little Maxi. Max came in with two handfuls of hair. Because he just got his haircut and he was so proud that he got his haircut and he

walks in and he's like, look, I cut my hair. And Calta, not knowing because his fucking evil gene runs through him. And it comes out like a fucking laser beam goes eat it. And little Matt loves Mike so much. And really, he just wants to say hi and make Mike laugh. And he goes, huh? And he put it his mouth. Number one could have fucking choked. Number two, he made a fucking little girl fucking, I mean, a little guy, a little boy, sorry. I just read something on the thing. He made a little guy, I just eat, and he immediately

was like, fuck, he was choking, and the dog was here. She was like, what the fuck? Yeah, he treat, because he's not a fucking homeless guy that lives in a fucking car. Okay. He's my. The idea. I don't think he do it. What do you think a fucking six year old would do when one of his idols says do something? The idea was so gross. I thought he go, oh, no. My first thought I was going to say was to throw that Bobby, but I thought he might do that. So I didn't say that.

No, no, no, no, no. First thought should be high max. Good to see it, buddy. See you soon. Bye. That's my kid. Ultimate respect. I would never, if Juliana came on, go, well, go eat you here.

I would never do that to her. In a million. To fuck off. Yeah, but she might not. And I would never be the person to do that. Well, I'm never going to do it again. Well, I don't believe you. You know what? You apologize and he's changed.

And you have to accept, accept that because I admitted I was wrong and I apologize. And I will never do it again. Gabby, you don't know, listen, you don't know what you deal with. You know, you're a smart woman, Gabby. Don't let men tell you you're not. Yeah. There's no Gabby. I'm, I'm trying to help you right now. Okay. Help me. What do you think?

He is not. Now, Mosh has jumped off a bridge. Listen. No, honestly, God, if he did jump on a winner right now, and we're going to be like, I told you, you would be on here very sad, but you'd call me go, dude, he fucking did it. Yeah. And I'd be like, I told you, you would, we'd be on here very sad, but you'd call me go, dude, he fucking did it. Yeah.

And I'd be like, how the fuck are we going to get on tomorrow? Max. Oh, no. Thank you for understanding, Gabby. Hi. You're my higher intelligence. So you, so Matt, you, Gabby, you understand he doesn't understand that. She doesn't understand.

She doesn't do that to Max. No, no, she understand, she doesn't understand that. She doesn't understand. She doesn't do that to Max. No, no, she understand that made a mistake. Oh, hey, where's Max? Is he there? Let me take a bite of him. Nope. You lost him, you lost Max privileges.

I can't, I can't, I'm come here and I don't talk to him. No, you will talk to him in person. You won't, because I know how, I can't, I'm coming here and I don't talk to him. No, you will talk to him in person. You will, because I know how, I look at, you listen, I know how you are when you have a micro-friendly, but I also know how you are at your house and in the car. It's a different person. True. There's something inside of you that is fucking inherently evil. No, I would, that's cool though. Fearless is more like a not evil. I don't want to do always do bad

things. You made a guy eat the shit off of your foot. It was not shit. It was dry skin and it was feed the cheney. I put it over pasta and he was able to eat it over pasta. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Probably for Bonde be taking it. And that was $100. A hundred bucks in the eight feet of cheese. Very full. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Gabby. Trust me, Gabby. All right. Listen, call the Kelly. You know what, dude, whatever the fuck we're doing, I miss you. I miss you. I'm gonna say that. I missed you last night. I am happy that we're doing. I miss you. I miss you. I'm going to say that I missed you last night. I am happy that we're back together. I am too. I was so excited to do this tonight. It's excited to get every look right now. I was like, I'm not doing the other show, by the way.

Oh, I know. I'm sorry. I sent the mass email. We're texting a big dick tattoo guy. So it's almost over. Time's so working. I thought you're talking about? Big dick tattoo guy? So it's almost over time. So we're working on that. I thought you're talking about sure. Rod small, because that's his hosting tonight. All right, well, no, not at all. All right, listen, Gabby.

Yeah, I will. Tomorrow, I think we're going to get our shit together this week. Do you want to write tomorrow? Well, we don't have any notes or to. No, we got to we got to come up with this six episodes. So let's write that there. You guys need me to punch anything up. We'll know you read it if you want. Yeah.

You want to read it? I'd love to. All right. You read it. 10 30. 10 30 Thursday. Third no. No, Wednesday tomorrow.

I can't do tomorrow. Okay. Thursday. No, Wednesday tomorrow. I can't do tomorrow. Okay, Thursday. What do you say guys? Next week we get Lewis Gomez. Okay, try. Yeah, get ready to try and sometime in July. That's when we'll be back in the city. Oh, no, Gary.

Gary will be back July 19th. So we'll get him then. Totally. All right. Cool. All right, Mike. I know I won't talk to you tonight, and I'm not going to text you.

So I guess I'll just see you tomorrow. If you talk to Don or anything changes tonight, feel free to text me. Well, I can call you. You can. Hi, man. I love you, number one friend. I'm waiting to see you. And what do we got? What do we got to do here?

Do we have any reads or anything? Do we have to read the names? Ooh. Let's do this. Don't forget everybody, YKWD fans, patreon.com.com. I mean, we go every night and then Saturday night we have the jerk off party. We will let all you guys come hang in, but it's only people remember patreon.com. Slusher Robert Kelly, a fans of culture and Kelly get to come in. So for the price of a Kamamakiado, I think

it's the most content on Patreon we do. And we also have the nayshows up on. If you want to check out the show, we have shows available right now on the YouTube page. You can check out. We're going to have more shows this week we're putting up from here, but live and in person and you gotta join the club and we have some other news coming up too. And here we go, mush, what do you got? All right, here we go, ready? These are the names. Here we go. Thank you for being a member of the Patreon. Thank you for the new members joining.

We like to read your names. I also have to get the stickers to the other members. Here we go. It is the best thing in the pandemic. Mike, are you ready? Why is this car ever coming to the jerk off party? Oh, Amelia. What's up? Here we go. Mike C Brad DeCaca, or a Kakarot. Oh, you got again. Mike C Brad the Carco. Perfect.

That is better. Amelia Cedihidi. Chris Brian Kalalinga. Ryan Kavigliano. Kavigliano. Matt Carrhart. Zach Klein. Marty Reed.

Christopher B. Sinden. No. These didn't. Tom Davis, Sean Griffin, John Smith, Stephen, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle Phillips, Michaela Phillips. Michaela? Blake Thomas Timothy two shirts, Timothy two shirts. John Clevver, Clevver. Josh Clevver. Mayank. And solid snake.

Thank you so much for being members. And Steve and you're the best nice 10 dollar member. We love you. You missed Kavigliano is a $25. Remember where? Bigly on. I don't know. Come back. Go back. Timmy two shirts and Brian Kavigliano are in the 25 hour month club. And guess what? I hear you guys. Yes. What?

in the 25 hour month club. And guess what? You guys guess what? Guess what I ordered. Ryan Califatliano. What's up, buddy? I ordered stickers. They should be arriving at your house by July 1. Fuckin' a and I'm, we're going to get merged too. We're going to get a shirt called the Ladybug. And we want, we're going to need, we're going to need all of your, I don't, we're going to try to get all of you in. I think we talked about this mic where we put everybody's little face on a ladybug. And it's going to be the cluster of genital warts on somebody's

asshole. So you're not going to be, you'll be only will know what the Ladybug means, the Ladybugs. And if you want to be a Ladybug, please send your little face shot to Mike Mush. What's the email? Why could it be the, why could it be you do it at gmail.com? There you go. And you will maybe be on the shirt after the final design is done, right? And thanks to Mush, we have a Twitter at Calton Kelly.

Bob Bam, even though I hate Twitter, I don't use it. I think it's a waste of time. And it's just a bunch of twat heads on it. Instagram the way to go. Poo. Gabby. Yeah. Great seeing you. Great seeing you.

Great talking to you. And you know what, Gabby? But your good kid. Sage is pretty. You're a to you and you know what Gabby? But you're a good kid. Say she's pretty. You're a good kid. I like it. Tell us. Pretty.

Let me see. Let me look at it real quick. I got fucking sunflower. Make a stop. Stop. Thank you. Make Gabby big. Yeah.

This is objectifying me. Gabby makes me big every show. So make it. Oh my god. It must not. It must be so unfun to be this generation where everything is just defensive. You have to everything has a word to it. That's objectifying. That's

sexist. That's just immoral. You're so annoying. So a taxing and I'm annoying. It's annoying. It's fucking, what a taxing fucking life they live. They live by Mike Mush, see you later. Bridges. I don't do it on the line. You're the one with the line. You're the one with the line. Bobby. You guys, what's the line? What's the name of the show? No, I know the name of the show. I'm not, are we ending it right now?

You said yes, he said bye. You guys are the best fans in the world. You know what, dude? We'll see you next week. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.