Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bushcraft Party Boys

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

Bobby returns from primitive camping and guests Paul Virzi, Ian Fidance and surprise guest Rich Vos discuss the action and danger of the inaugural BPB excursion! Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...t podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a clash to fire. It's not a chance, no rules. I'm gonna the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic or something? No!
Starting point is 00:00:22 That was trying to keep it like a comic egg. I have a bunch of guys on it's just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it On a day my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's where we kill each other. You know what you do by just unwhitecast.com. I'm going to make a video about you. I'm going to make a video about you. I'm going to make a video about you. I'm going to make a video about you. I'm going to make the YouTube channel. You like me, WDW right now.
Starting point is 00:01:05 We live, Paul Versey, eInfinance, Gabby Mike, and Zach right now. It is a fuck, hey, Vos just showed the fuck up. Nice. What's going on? Richie Vos. I could hear your stupid voice all the way down the hallway. That's a good thing. That means that means my voice is a powerful voice.
Starting point is 00:01:25 It means it's you know how to project. It's good. I wish you know how to project funny. You came in and I was in in the middle of a fucking rant, like an opening. Oh, you were. You just started? If you put the headphones on once in your life, you'd be able to know right now. No, you can't hear the music was playing and stuff going on. I'm not into music. Oh God anyway Well, I didn't count my steps. I'm gonna start first of all I want to thank a laughable.com laughable Michael laughable Michael laughable
Starting point is 00:01:59 Fucking cock soccer No, that's your job. That's Gabby's job and your job, but when you're doing that job, then let her do that job That's my job. Is that new? Yeah, that's fucking cool. No, it's been there for fucking three years Are you kidding me? You haven't seen a giant Spray can painting of me. I didn't notice it. Oh, man. I'm getting scared for us. So is Bonnie Painting of me I didn't notice it. Oh man. I'm getting scared boss. So is Bonnie We were scared for Bonnie laughable.com the only Podcasting app you'll ever need go to your app store and get it. It's free
Starting point is 00:02:34 It is if you love podcasting laughable.com. I'm telling you I have it. I use it Introduce me to so many new podcasts so many new people. It's a spiral out of Dude not do that. This isn't your fucking podcast where you trash your sponsors No, that's why I don't get a sponsors. I can't because when you get them you go fucking this company sticks I love our companies. I love them shut up while my companies are on Love our companies. I love them. Shut up while my companies are on I don't I don't Exhaling wow exhale fucking away from the microphone I'm trying to breathe with all that fucking colonies got on Jesus Oh
Starting point is 00:03:12 Smell that my god Dude can you Got Bobby down all I can smell you down the street Jesus I don't have them I put one spray on spray too many Maybe cuz you know that zip it, zip baby cuz it's big Hebrew noses Jesus I stopped before the right. The right to blog that's you on you crime. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:30 That's one of those attacking the other knows. Comedy seller Vegas is open right now. Me and Vos are going to be there at the end of August. I can't wait. It's comedy seller Vegas at the Rio. This week it's Phil Hanley, Maria Franklin, Eddie F. Rickey-Villaz, the shows, the comedy seller shows here,
Starting point is 00:03:48 they're just putting them in Vegas. It's the funniest comedy club in town. You will not be disappointed. It's the nicest comedy club in town. It's not some fake ballroom where they hung up a couple paintings of comics that never fucking play Carl and stop by. Are you fucking crazy in Baltimore? Yeah, priors on you all go fuck yourselves in Baltimore
Starting point is 00:04:09 have a big thing of Carl and prior even though I like to club I like the owner anyways it's the fucking crazy club and about Westbury this is unbelievable again at that we shut up I'm sorry can you let me fucking plug sorry? You know if I stepped in your plugs you squish them So it's probably sell a Vegas dot com go to comedy seller Dot com hit the Vegas button check it out if you go to Vegas if you plan on going to Vegas Are you're in Vegas right now, go to it at the Rio, it's the club to go to patreon.com.
Starting point is 00:04:48 The new show, live from the shed with Ronnie Bees up right now, former members, that's patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. So, so far we have Ronnie Bee, we have Matt Sarah, UFC Welterweight Former Champion, and we have Colin Quinn. Next, we have,
Starting point is 00:05:04 we have Ross Myerson, is one of the top casting directors in New York, came to my shed, sat down, and we have Keith Robinson coming up too. We have this show. It only goes. I'm gonna throw hot tea in your face. Gabby, go get me hot hot tea no bag I just want tea bags I called you a bag Shut up He had to bring two people we get on these podcast I gotta sit right there You know guys
Starting point is 00:05:43 Stinking every aspect of life. Just fucking go to Patreon. All right, we got, let's just go do a show. I'm here, Ridge Vos. Oh, God, are you stinking? Fucking tight pants. Trying to fucking more somebody down at the fucking Christopher. He looks like you, if you embrace your junus.
Starting point is 00:06:04 He looks like me. He, you know, he's knows Italian, right? I don't care what he is He's Italian. I know he's a tall. You call them a hebe. Well, what the fuck? I got a little bit of Ashkenazi. I mean, oh you do Just a tip a couple hours. I will You can't smile Michael. Come here. Yes. Oh my god. You are you. This is the worst thing about boss He comes in heavy fuck you fight and then he shows his weakness. You can. Oh my God. You are. You. This is the worst thing about boss. He comes in heavy. Fuck you. And then he shows his weakness. You can't smell Michael. Oh, can you? Who gives a shit? My nose does. Anyways.
Starting point is 00:06:38 God. We don't do it. I get to do it. Burzy. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Burzy. I won't. I won't. We got, the infinite is finally back on the show. My sweetie Petiti. How you doing, buddy?
Starting point is 00:06:50 Hey baby, how are you? I'm blowing up. He's blowing. That's okay. He's doing all right. Thanks. You're good things. What do you hear about him?
Starting point is 00:06:58 Nothing. Ah. Come on, you must have heard something. No, I just see his name here and there. You there, you know a lot of podcast. He did Anthony Well, he's a staple on On on on Nikki Glazer show. Oh, yeah, I love now every week every week. He's on the radio. Yeah on the radio Wow, too big on anything to plug You know what I mean like a gig I'm gonna be a Vermont comedy club this week. How did you get that?
Starting point is 00:07:25 I like that lining no Yeah, it's fine No, it's a better. Oh, I love it. Yeah, it's a great club too. Yeah, I'm sorry Vermont but I'm not coming on comedy club. Yeah great club right in the fucking hotel. Yeah, and go go downtown Yeah, it is why do a ton of gigs? You don't get the hotel. Yeah. And go go downtown. I'm in the hotel. Yeah, it is. Why do a ton of gigs? You don't get the hotel. I get the hotel. When I was in the hotel.
Starting point is 00:07:48 The hotel is connected to the comedy club. Oh, yeah, it is. It's in the back. The club's in the back. I can't go through my friend dying in front of me. He's literally getting old in front of us. I can't do it. He goes, hey, have you always had that big thing?
Starting point is 00:08:04 Is that toast? Is that toast? Is that it? Really? Let me tell you something. Let me explain something. Because you're having a stroke. Really? Really? You're right. It's in the back of the hotel. You've got to still go outside the hotel to the club. Oh my god, I hate you. It's connected it's it's connected to same building I think it's not a hotel comedy club. It's a club Shepter from the hotel. Can you lean in that way? So it isn't have to fix the camera stop fucking sitin like a tired old man Maybe I'm tired Been shooting arrows. I did 40 my 40 uh managed under treadmill today really I hyped four hours out of fucking the Catskill Mountains this morning.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Whoa. Four hours in. That's great. Listen, that's a lot, man, with a backpack. 60 pounds. That's crazy. Why did you have a 60 pound backpack? I had to carry Joe. No. No. All right. Wasn't the best joke. It wasn't bad. It's already here. That's why it always starts here. I start on slow. And of course, we have, we're going to why it always starts here. I start off slow. And of course we have, we're gonna talk about this fucking trip, I just did Paul Verzi, who's very familiar with this trip that I just did.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Cause we did a podcast about it. And he snakes. Buddy, let me tell you something. Okay. There's Australia. No, he said he said there was fucking an area where there was hundreds of rattlesnakes But you had to walk
Starting point is 00:09:26 We're gonna get into it wait a second in the cat's skill. There's no fucking rattles That's what I thought they're not doing hot during Arizona Texas Vegas. There's no rattles This is why you're stupid because you just say shit. I know I'm not like I You've done over here. Are you crazy? I'm not crazy. You're saying there's no snake Not rattle to snakes, but there's not rattle your other look up second dumbest person I've ever met Connect so next to you Look up rattle snakes in the cat stop. Stop. Do not I was doing it before we told me thank you But do not listen to him ever
Starting point is 00:10:02 Don't care ever look up anything anything he tells you to look. Now what I want you to do is look up rattlesnakes and cats go. No. No. You think there are? Shut up, Voss. You're coming into hot.
Starting point is 00:10:14 This is what you're doing. I'm not being hot, I'm just being me. You're coming into hot. I can't say that. Versi, first of all, I want to just plug real quick. Voss, let me get our fucking plug in. Oh, get that out, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah. Yeah. Me and Voss, June 1st, which is a Friday, the WBAB Roger and JP's comedy riot. They did it six years ago. It was this big, huge thing they did. They stopped doing it. They're bringing it back and me and Voss are the ones they're bringing it back with. It's at Westbury, the theater at Westbury in in Long Island, June 1st, get your tickets now.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I think this around a thousand. That's a crazy room, that's in the round. There's a thousand tickets already sold. Oh, yeah. So get your fucking tickets, because it's gonna be half sold out. It's gonna be great, it's gonna be a lot of fun. Did they pick the winner of that contest?
Starting point is 00:11:01 I don't know who the winner, I don't know if they picked the winner yet. No, the winner, so you can be the opener for the show. You send in the tape to these guys, it's on their website and they're gonna pick the winner of the show who's probably gonna be attacked by Rich. Oh, I always take care of the new guys. Oh, shut up.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I'm always nice to do that. It's always nice. The first time I didn't talk you off the ledge after Gabby beat you down brutally at roast battle where you are still, you shouldn't be showing your face in New York After our long talk now you came back right after that It was guy was just saying yeah, you got blonde hair whore Yeah, yeah, you dad's in bon jovy fucking rich pitchcock
Starting point is 00:11:44 Yeah, yeah, you dad's in Bon Jovi fucking rich bitch cock If you have I had money I'd fucking be somebody what my relax If you could put a face if you could put a face on his roast it would be his It would be in that's how bad it was good visual joke on the podcast. Abby got a mom. It wasn't that gay. It was just bad. Mike, it was fucking, oh my god. I played a handsome battle. I actually listened to it. Me and my wife listened to it and just laughed one night.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Oh, god. No, I'm kidding. It was so rough. It was so rough. I almost quit comedy. He was that. He just, I won't do roast battle again. I won't judge it because it was so.
Starting point is 00:12:24 I got a bad night. My heart hurt. Yeah, that one. Oh, you know what? But the thing is you held your your your Only he held was the microphone and I wish he didn't do that. He fell down. It's just a good joke. He's literally laughing at you. We all are he fell down. He bounced a good joke He's literally laughing We all on he fell down he bounced back up and he's he's back out and he's next time He's crying are you crying no, he's laughing at me. They weren't laughing then so my feels better here. Why you crying? Why do you guys those are his eyes? I don't know those are his eyes. Yeah, he's okay
Starting point is 00:13:00 He has watery eyes like he just ate hot sauce all the time Renee's El Wiggares. I'll take it. I'll take it. Thank you. Hers is squinty. The orange is squinty. She always looks like she's crying.
Starting point is 00:13:12 All right, so anyways, we talked about it. I, Ari Shafir, Joe List. Now, all right, first of all, don't bring this up because what you do, I'm talking, you bring that up. Everybody looks at that. And then we're going to talk about rattlesnakes, okay? So bring it up when I'm I'm I asked for it The we we we decided I want to go camping our is like we should go camping We called Joe or like you want to do this, but we wanted to do not you go to campsite
Starting point is 00:13:39 We wanted to do it's called primitive camping you hike up into the mountains and there's these spots And it has a little fucking tent thing with a peon in it and it's just a little spot you can set up a camp like you can go get the wood you know make a little fire put your tents around and there's campground but but there's nobody around so we we went to this overlook pass it's two miles straight to fuck up. Do you got to put your food in a trash bag and tied over? It's called the bear bag. Yeah we went to this overlook pass. It's two miles straight to fuck up. Do you gotta put your food in a trash bag and tied over? It's called a bear bag. Yeah, we had to hang a bear bag. So we go two miles up the evening.
Starting point is 00:14:13 I almost hold on, even canned food. You gotta do that. Every smell, do canned food. Everything, there's smell, you have to put your toothpaste in it. I don't use toothpaste. I can't. I'm not sure if you use this fucking this fucking dickerick to wash his teeth. Um, so okay.
Starting point is 00:14:29 So, I put, we're so, I bought all the shit everybody bought the stuff. You know, you saw all the stuff I bought. I had two of everything. I got a hand mate, like fucking knives. You had two. Bushcraft knives. Yeah, but multiple. Customs.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Multiple custom knives. I have knife makers making me knives for bush crafting. and knives get you know bushcraft knives yeah but multiple custom multiple custom knives knife makers making me knives for bush crafting I've never been and I have to talk to them like I've been because I've researched it so I'm like yeah you know we might be doing a little uh little uh you know throwing in words I was uh what was it? There's a bunch of these fucking things you have to like batoning I might do a little batoning is the long going to be enough No, you packed enough he I went to a so I was at his house two days before whatever in the shed Mm-hmm he packed enough for days, but it was good for him and it would be prepared and he was out there for fucking what but it was
Starting point is 00:15:20 Breakfast they had a fucking bacon egg and cheese and then they fired So you go fishing. Well, here's the thing. A bacon egg and cheese in the morning. Here's a thing. I would go. I would go. I would go.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go.
Starting point is 00:15:42 I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. I would go. with your teeth wraps. Listen, when fish like a big, so we go up, we go up to this hike. You hike two miles and it's literally vertical. So I got 60 pounds in my back. You got Joe listen, I don't need it. Well, you need it.
Starting point is 00:15:57 You need tent and all the stuff, all the stuff. So we all got our stuff. We're going up there. I mean, 10 minutes in, I'm like, I'm regretting this. It's vertical in the car. I mean, no minutes in. I'm like, I'm regretting this. It's vertical. In the car, you mean? No, in the fucking height. Put your headphones on.
Starting point is 00:16:09 I got you. I got you. I love how you see it. It isn't fucking listen, Verzy. I think you're going in the car. I know how he says it's vertical. Like, it's a surprise. Like, you guys are going to go somewhere
Starting point is 00:16:18 and fucking jog downhill. I'll tell you this. You're hiking. Hang on, okay. You're right. You're still have to go up hill to get home. Listen, here's the deal, Verzy. Most hikes uphill to get home.
Starting point is 00:16:29 It's started off downhill. That's what I'm saying. Listen to me. I go in a little, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just intense, you stay in motion. I can't stand him. You're annoying.
Starting point is 00:16:42 It's new as well as physics. I'm gonna new in your physics right my fist in your face Here's it. Yeah, but no, I really want to Fucking give my knuckle sandwich homemade. Why did you cook that on the campfire? I don't like it, my both my ears. It hurts me. Anyways, listen. So the reason why I say vertical, most hikes kind of go like this, and it's not, you don't feel the vertical, you don't feel it.
Starting point is 00:17:13 This was just, I mean, it's a road up to a whole old hotel that was built in the 1800s that's ruins now. It's just the framework of these hotels at the top. Where is this? But how do people get castles in the framework of these hotels at the top. Where is this? But how did people get casted in the beginning? Let me finish. Okay. God, you're a fucking ass.
Starting point is 00:17:30 I'm just asking questions. Horse and buggy. Horse and buggy. Up the mountain? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:17:38 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Holy. What? hell? What killed the horse? Holy. No, I thought that was falling.
Starting point is 00:17:51 My fucking depth perception is off. No, seriously. Back in the day, you'd have to go down to the bottom of the hill. You would jump in a horse and buggy, and they would take you up to this beautiful ornate, insane overlook hotel for rich, it was crazy. And now it's all gone. It's burnt down a couple times. They rebuilt it.
Starting point is 00:18:10 And I think it was the 50s or something. Or maybe earlier than that in the early 1900s, it was fucking done. But now it's all ruined. But now, mind you, there's a lot of people hiking up this trail to the ruins. It's almost like running in canyon Kangian for the Catskills, okay? If you know that from Los Angeles. Boss, I will fucking kick you out of my studio. I'm literally stopping every fucking ten minutes. I'm like sitting on a rock
Starting point is 00:18:47 Taking my bag off. I'm dying 75 degrees. It felt like I was on the sun Shubby girls are walking by me going, are you okay? Dude was Ari walking around fine naked. Oh yeah, yeah. Joe list, he walked up that mountain like we were fucking on a subway platform. He fucking, he was just 20,000 feet ahead of us and then we'll come back and then come back down. Hey guys, we have a little stuff up here.
Starting point is 00:19:17 I would never go back to go back up. Every inch was a fucking, I was like an award to me. Every foot I was like, I went two more feet. So it was two miles total. Two miles up to the top. Now, when you get to the top, there's a stretch that's, there's like, everything I read about it, every video I watched of this hike on YouTube, there's rattlesnakes.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Timber rattlesnakes, hundreds of them. There was so many that I saw one video with this couple was like, look, we're just going to go home. They're video of the hike. They were like, we're just, we're just going home. Because they ran when you told me that's when I was like, I'm not so watch this. No, Michael, talk to us. Timber rattlesnakes, Timber rattlesnakes have a number of morphs biologist, if I'm Timber rattlesnakes have a number of morphs biologist fine timber rattlesnakes into two morphs light and dark morphs these are things that are on the Catskill mountains right here in the Catskill mountains. Oh the timber rattlesnake. Oh the more you mother fucker. The timber you didn't say the timber rattlesnake. I'm gonna first of all yeah the timber rattlesnake is like an eight foot six foot
Starting point is 00:20:20 eight foot rattlesnake. Yeah fuck that. That's that. Okay, and there's hundreds of them up there. Yeah, yeah, no, I would. Fuck that. Show the video. So we're walking up, I don't want to get the video. We're walking up to this place. So I did all the research on it. I understand, don't go near them.
Starting point is 00:20:36 If you know, if you get bit, what to do, blah, blah, blah, right? So we hike all the way to the ruins. We get up to the top. I break it up on a tine. Somebody got it The deli down down at the bottom. No I'm not your mind. Roughening. That's the times. I'm a bad Nup gobbagool in the fucking
Starting point is 00:20:57 Star provolone. Salt and pepper. Old chips. What do they call it? That's chip of the fucker world. Some pepper. Dude, I fucking, so anyways, we get up top there, we do our thing, now we have to head down to the fucking lake. X called Echo Lake.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Now this is a trail trail. This is like, it's an old riverbed, you have to walk down all the way, two more miles to this lake. So that's another, you know, whatever, hour and a half, hour, 45 minutes. So it's two hours up, almost two hours down, we get to the bottom of this lake.
Starting point is 00:21:32 We're in the middle of fucking nowhere. There's nobody there. It's just us, there was two gay guys in a hut. But then us, there was two guys in a hut. I don't know if they're gay, I would have, oh, to sue. Three guys, it's guys having fun. Two guys just go down the woods alone, they're fun. Miles and we're sucking.
Starting point is 00:21:51 We're sucking each other's, as soon as they have fun. Wait a minute, you asked me to go just me and you. I'm fucking, we're gonna blow each other. Can I go? And now, three guys, you don't suck dick. Two, you're fucking, it's fine. Does that mean nobody's gonna rat? This three is always that fucking rat.
Starting point is 00:22:07 I was wondering, did he tell? No. So, you wanna add it in, then we can fuck again. Now we're back in, but if it's for, we fuck. I'd rather hop on the train to Auschwitz, then go camping with you. I'm sorry, where were you wanna go? I mean, no, I said, no, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I wanna hear it again. I was like seeing, no one's dying there anymore. I'm totally talking to you. I'm those little denim overalls that kids wear. Auschwitz? Auschwitz, bagage. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Wait, tell me, before you go on, if you get bit by a rattlesnake up there, what, what do you do? Your gay friends gonna suck it out. That doesn't do anything, shall I? No, you have to get a bite on my dick, Rich, what, what, what do you do? Your gay friends gonna suck it out. That doesn't do anything. No, you have to get a bite on my dick, Rich. You have to, you're, you're kind of fucked. You have to get back down the hill, but you can't.
Starting point is 00:22:51 That's what I asked you. But you can't do it. You can't do it exercise. You can't get, you might, you might, you might have to send somebody down and then they'll send a Ranger up. You can call somebody, call a Ranger. You're self-sacred. See, but that's one of those packages that you bought, bought, that book bag that you bought that has all this shit.
Starting point is 00:23:06 What do you know, the first aid kit? No, what's the backpack that you got that's got a fire start? It's got all that. What is it called? That's his thing, that's what he's got. What do you mean, what's it called? Survival backpack?
Starting point is 00:23:16 The one that we went through, did that podcast. Oh, you mean my go bag? Your go bag. That's a go bag for an apocalypse for zombies. Yeah, that's not a bad example. I can't do that. Okay, what does so what Richa said is a survival kit that how come there's none? Uh, because you're not doing it.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Anodotin. How come there's no anti because it costs $25,000 for the rat. Yes, it does. If you go if you don't have health insurance, it's $25,000 for rattlesnake. Uh, and did you do that? No. I don't know the, can I stop? This is my podcast, so I just have to say this.
Starting point is 00:23:49 I don't know if that's true. And I'm not saying that's true, that's him. Look up, look up, DePrice, a rattlesnake. Yes, go ahead. Look up rattlesnake, and he's not. He's a price, DePrice, what, I don't know. He knows what he said. He's not the idiot. You're saying $25,,000 for any but here's what you do that. You have to rap auction
Starting point is 00:24:09 You have to wrap the you have to wrap the leg light 200 bucks versus That's rattlesnake. That's not that's not to turn For like 14,000 right there. Yeah, it's 25,000 right there. Look at that. Antivatum, $296. Wait a minute, you get it on, you get it on. Boys in a snake bite kit, 25 bucks. Yeah, you go to Ben's meadow, or you get a 25 bucks. That's a snake kit.
Starting point is 00:24:37 No, all that is, is it sucks the poison out. Rich can't read decibels. What does that say right there? 14,000. What does it say? Read it? According to Boyer's model a single-vile of antivenom that would cost more than $14,000 United States would cost 100 to 200 dollars in Mexico Would you take that chance? Would you if you got bit by a rattlesnake and someone said, okay, we'll give you the anti-vandom at the hospital in America Yeah, or you could take it for 200 dollars $200 from my guy who mows my lawn.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Okay, I had the anti-vandom. Easy, my job. Easy, my job. That's something people do. People go on with little vacations and just get medicine. I'm anti-vandom. Hang on one second, guys. There's a Mexican in the room. I forgot. Who? Who?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah. You can get... What? I just pulled it out from a doctor in Florida. I swear I went to this doctor some first-gen K-sync He said he goes look I sell bootleg Viagra on the side right so 10 10 pills for 70 dollars and I would never take him I went to my doctor this week. He said look you could take the chance Medicine though He said, look, you could take the chance. But don't let medicine though.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Viagra, bootleg viagra. So you won't fuck your ones. Bootleg, bootleg viagra. You can get them online. But I, no, this is something where you go to an actual doctor in Mexico and he does right, you get a prescription and he gets it. For what?
Starting point is 00:25:58 For almost anything really. Yeah, but you know, can I say something? Can I say something? No, in Mexico and in other countries, the law is like in a rubah, you can go in and just get shit from that you can't get here in the pharmacy because they're not as strict as we are here.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Well, some of them know FDA. It's more that it's the price, it's the big deal. It's like, like an asthma inhaler here is like $75 there. It's like, oh, it's 12, like it should be. Yeah, because you're not gonna charge a bunch of poor Mexicans 75 dollars. Just charge poor America. Because that's like oh it's 12 like it should be so yeah because they can't you're not gonna charge a bunch of poor Mexicans 75 alls just church poor America because that's like nine million pesos it's got more to do with that also too we send that to them at the manufacturers do yes our manufacturers anyhow I should have took this poison
Starting point is 00:26:39 a snake kit with me the last one yeah I should have took that because you just if you can get them and 25% of the bites from rattlesnakes are dry bites What? There's nothing in the no venom to dry bite So the chances are you first of all chances are you fucking kick in a rattlesnake and getting bit You know, if you're not an idiot pretty low pretty low and if you get bit you'll survive you might get a little Damage did you see any to your skit? We didn't see one fucking snake. It fucks your leg. Go ask him to go to rattlesnake bites.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Can you rattlesnake bites? Wait a minute stop. What they look like. Wait a second. Can you go to rattlesnake bites? What they look like after? I used to think they're rattles. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I even think their rattle was something. I used to think their rattle was poisonous though. Like I used to think that that was stuck there. That's where they they kept their breathing. That's just like their little like that's their warning Question that you might know the Like boss trying to talk here. Here's what you might know the answer to Any idea how he's harming himself in his career How is he harming himself? I know everybody's not by them like a snake. Listen to me. Listen to me. If you ate it, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a
Starting point is 00:27:54 rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a
Starting point is 00:28:02 rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you took a rabbit snake, if you to ride on snake, say you're like surviving, you have to eat. You can't you get one. You cut the head off to tail. Yeah. Can you? Don't show it. Coaching this. Oh, fucking show. Can you eat it?
Starting point is 00:28:14 If you cook the meat, you can eat a rouse. Yeah, you can cook the meat. Yeah, but the poison where's the poison? It's in its mouth. And it's head. There's a little part. There's a venom glands on top of the face. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to your mouth.
Starting point is 00:28:29 But, but yeah, I mean, look, if you see a rattlesnake, the greatest part about a rattlesnake, it rattles. So you're gonna hear it. It's not like a cobra that just fucking, or other snakes that will just like a viper will just snap your head in a tree. Can I say something without you getting upset? Oh God.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Here's a thing. It never worked with me. That's never worked with me. It's always made me upset. I know, I know. I know. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:28:59 You ask me if I can do it, and I don't know if I can do it, Paul. Here's the thing. Let me answer your question. No. Yeah. How's that? So go ahead. Okay, I can do it and I don't know if I can do it. Here's the thing. Let me answer your question. No. Yeah. How's that? So go ahead.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Okay, I can still talk though. Yeah, of course it's your microphone. It's called a podcast. You guys, you guys didn't. Who's you guys? You are in Joe. Yes. You didn't really go camping.
Starting point is 00:29:18 You might as well. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. My body. Is it devastation Oh, I can't feel my asshole. Here's it. When you're walking you didn't do that with three people Vogue is the best I don't give a fuck he's the best
Starting point is 00:29:43 There's the ones he needs, he gets out right. Yeah. They went camping, they only went for a down though. They had, listen, they had bacon egg and cheese in the morning. And he's walking around with Italian hairline. And they went for one, I'm saying, you did it was cute. Spend a night. Yes, you could do it.
Starting point is 00:30:02 It was a fuck up fuck I couldn't. I could do it with two slim gyms and a fucking and one coffee I'd make it through today through today. Let's listen to me first of all now with fucking gourmet Which is what you fucking look at it's been addicted fucking noon you know they brought a fond you kids Maybe we brought too much We think all right, man. We brought too much. No, we brought a little belt. I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:30:37 I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I literally was like, I cooked for 12 hours.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Hang on. I cooked three seralon steaks. Right, and rice, rice p-loff. What the hell? I'm not trying to be just, come on. I had three stills going. You had rice p-loff and steaks. Three stills.
Starting point is 00:31:02 We're not fucking a giflion hero. That sounds amazing. I wouldn't win if I would have known you had a fucking If you got a gluttonous fucking picnic Wasn't a tapping trip it was a buffet. They had a traveling buffet A buffet a buffet in the woods with Bobby Anybody bake his cookies? What the fuck? I was gonna break cookie.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Cookie down because I was gonna freeze it. Hopefully, it's gonna start around. I was gonna make a big cookie. One big one. I learned how to make a ham cookie. Yeah. That's a good ham cookie. That's what those custom knives are for.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Cut cookie down. Ah. They got down to the bottom of the hill and it was a holiday in. those custom knives are for Bottom of the hill who's a holiday in Version God I'm Fucking the Joe's a shoe chef Joe was a sous chef I'm
Starting point is 00:32:24 Come to mousse bush I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna come to Moosebush I'm gonna see if I get these photos up the you fuck suckers. Oh my god. Oh my god Listen to me. Oh fuck dude. First of all. I can't get up to you motherfucker really First of all I kicked up the you motherfucker really Listen I was gonna put up on the street, but I had a show Okay, here's the two-week-ins-a-go at the Sheraton and go ahead I'm gonna say I was gonna take a fuck. We get up to the top. We get up to the top and We make our way down this river bed. This is before FDA to stake. I had this I didn't have a stake yet Yeah, I mean I have a stake yet. Yeah, they got a lot of them. We didn't want to fucking stop a cook.
Starting point is 00:33:08 You got to sandwich it through in the back, right? So, we in our he split a sub at the top of the two, look at, you hiked vertical two fucking miles. It's with 60 pounds of produce in your bag. You know, I appreciate that. They're better, they're better be a hot dog truck. Those pounds of forehead meat are light. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:32 That's right. Virgins of fire. Shit. So we get up to the top. We make it through the path. Now there's there's it's called the fire Lookout and then you walk through this path a little further up It's a different trail and you get up to this big it's this big metal fucking stairway that goes up to the top And you can look out all the whole fucking cat skills and see fire shit or whatever the fireman used right but when you go there
Starting point is 00:34:05 that's what most of the rattlesnakes are they say and there's hundreds of them up there they say and there's tons of videos with people hikers running into these and there's um copper heads up there a lot of copper heads and they're up there but we will I was like you know what let's not even fucking go there let's just go to echo, because we were running late, we started late, because Donald Cooked, Donald Cooked Omelettes in Sausage and had muffins and English muffins for breakfast on the campsite. No, I'm at my house,
Starting point is 00:34:35 because we all slept at my house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You sleep outside to practice Your career you're gonna have to That was way too hard. I'm sorry. What do you say? Like a homeless so far too far so your menu yeah, hang on hang on. Let me get to the menu verse. Okay, okay We get we get deafened town We We get downtown. Where's your backpack? You just throwing stuff out now. So I know he's got nothing. I know But it wasn't but why would a no one to keep up with me and Versi the fact that Versi's keeping up with me is big Small Ian's a very funny guy. I know for ten
Starting point is 00:35:23 So this is the worst. Why am I doing this with you here? If you weren't here, we'd be having a nice conversation. It'd be based around you. So, anyways, we avoided that whole part, but this is what a snake bite looks like if you want to see it. It's pretty gross. a rattlesnake bite Yeah, they know what a fucking
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah, look at that aftermath of one. So yeah, what's that net? What's that that that's a skin graph? So basically so you're seeing fucking it is off well, I forget what they call it, but it eats Yeah, it eats it eats away the flesh. That's fucking yeah, it's crazy scroll down Yeah, it's fucking terrible man. I mean it's terrible Snakes they they bite a lot of dogs because yeah When you're up dogs just run around yeah, yeah You wouldn't want to bring your dog up to this one because it will run through the grass and get fucking now by one of these Snakes and you're done all right. came. We don't have to look anymore. Those $300 kits for pets by the way.
Starting point is 00:36:29 That's what they were smaller. The $300 kits for pets. They'll $300 miles. There you go. Versy. $300 kits for pets. Not humans. Look at that. Yeah. Humans are 14, 15, 20,000 dollars. Oh, look at that pinky. Where? Which one? The one all the way to the left down the bottom. Is that guy holding a globe? Or is that, what is that? That's the fucking skin, dude. That's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:52 That's what happens to you. Yeah, it fucks you up. Even if you get the, even if you get the anti-whatever event, anti-whatever, anti-whatever, if you're still scarred. So, but let me ask you this question. If you don't have access to a phone and you're fucking miles
Starting point is 00:37:05 out in the middle of nowhere, you have to keep your heart rate down as much as you can and not panic and try to get out. Because if your heart rate goes up, your blood's gonna be pushing the venom through your body. So you keep your heart rate down. That's what true grits about, basically. That would be true grit.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens at the end. What? True grit. Yeah, yeah, what happens at the end? What what true grit? Black breakfast That was just a stretch Grits Maybe Maybe just got it all like wrong. I'm gonna get two grits.
Starting point is 00:37:46 I was, I thought I was on my game. Fucking boss is fucking throwing them. Yeah, you guys. So, me and Vos, you'd first have the one. Bobby's bringing chicken palm rips. Don't worry. You can rock it. Hey, look what I got.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It's gonna be the best green of feasts you ever fucking see. Oh my God. So don'ts make a muffin. Bobby's cake. Here's me. Here's me your rock verse. Here's me you're wrong, Versey. We get down on this fucking lake. Now mind you, say we're down on the lake and someone gets bit. That's two miles up, two hours, two miles down to us. It's four, that's four. Are you
Starting point is 00:38:36 gonna fuck a stop laughing? I just picked your, I just picked your R. He's throwing up. Somebody go, quick, get bit by a snake. No, he ate too much. He's puke and cake. Oh, fuck. Get the antibedum now, no, it's just cake. There was too much frosting. She put too much frosting on the fucking thing. He loses his butt to a snake bite now, diabetes. Oh, he loses much to a snake bite. Oh, diabetes.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Oh, my God. When you when you when you when you're breaking when you unpack it like this. How many? Um, who carried the picnic tape? He had an inflatable picnic table. Alright, stop banging on the floors, alright? Stop those people underneath. Jesus Christ, this is like fucking deaf jam in here. Oh, this is the worst.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Alright, so anyways. Alright, so this I'm telling you I'm coming. Versi, I'm telling you. Listen, we might have brought up too much stuff, but... We get down, we had to... I think there's 10 campsites around this lake, but they're not campsites. I'm coming. I'm coming. Versi, I'm coming.
Starting point is 00:40:02 I'm telling you. Listen, we might have brought up too much stuff, but we get down, we had to, there's, I think there's 10 campsites around this lake, but they're not campsites, they're lean toots. Well, they have one, they only have one lean to, and there was two dudes in that. They took that right away. But off to the right, you got to keep walking around this whole lake. So it's first comfort served, you don't have to sign up or not? No, but there's nothing, it's not like a campsite. It's like, it's in no path.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Yeah. You kind of walk through the woods and there's campers, hikers have made these campsites over the years. So they went and got rocks and put them, like made it like a bunch of chairs out of these rocks, like slate. And then they made fire pits, like hikers did this shit, right? And the rangers, right?
Starting point is 00:40:44 So we find this one thing away from these guys. We don't want to be in there anybody. Went way around the other side of Lake. Now we gotta go get wood. We gotta build a fire. I gotta start cooking the rice peel off, because that takes a little longer to regular rice. But here's here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:40:58 You make a sound like these guys built you a hotel. And you walked outside, we got to get wood You had everything ready for you Already there But the last hikers left us wood you cost me camping Was that a ghost that I know the pizza delivery guy It's like what's the camping was that a ghost that I know the pizza delivery guy All right, but you got to tell it goes stories I just come out of the body. There's no fucking road in there. You kids know this is the fucking why it's primitive There's no you can't get the car where did you leave the car?
Starting point is 00:41:37 Just four miles away you port thing at the parking spot you can't get I said wouldn't be funny. We were sitting at the campsite. I said how funny would be if I just push my on button on my my car button and you're like beep beep and our car was like right right through the woods parking lot is right there that was your movie in the movie survived when the when the soccer team they were eat you know where they were eating a lot other live yeah the original one I think was called survival or a lot but there was like a city like right through the woods on the, or maybe that was a comedy.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Anyhow, but they weren't far. No, they weren't too far from. Fucking vertices on fire and you're a west. I'm not. I'm just saying we're bringing up. I'm really fucking throwing up those fingers. I think I'm a little tired. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:23 I'm just spinging the wet. It's been a while. Did anybody boil in the water for the spaghetti? I know you guys have fun, but you guys did what? 12 hours, right? 12 hours out. Hang on, no, no. It was four hours up, four hours down, get to the campsite. We had a set up camp.
Starting point is 00:42:41 We did all that shit. We had dinner. Fucking amazing dinner. I cooked steaks and we did have a great day. But what day did you go and come home? We went Monday, Monday and we came up this morning. But so anyways, we, um, we cooked after that. Now after we had to clean everything, put everything in the bear bags, hang it up in a tree, like 200 yards away. Um, and then we built this fucking sick fire. I had Cubans. I had to do it. I had to, I have the big Hoyos.
Starting point is 00:43:06 You know the big ones? Oh, I thought you brought Cubans to bust your table. Wait. I had a couple of Cuban sandwiches. Wait, no. How are you? Mrs. Shearers about to hang in the food in the tree.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Yeah. How far do you say it has to be from the camp? 200 feet. I think it is. 20,000 feet. How high up? I did around, I did around, it was 20 feet up, but then you hang it down four feet and around 10 feet off the ground.
Starting point is 00:43:35 So how do you get it up? You get it up, you throw it over with a rope. Are you get a rope and you get a carabiner? And then, but I attached that to a bag with a rock in it because you have, it has to be heavy enough to go over the branch You come right the fuck back down take the bag off then you take the the bear bag food put it on that carabiner Put your rope through the carabiner Heist it up hoist it up and then you get a stick and you wrap it around the rope tie it on just a little quick
Starting point is 00:44:04 Little almost like a loop knot, and then let go. And as the bag comes down, the stick goes up, hits the carabiner, and it stops it. But what should, and then you just look at that. And then you just look at that feeder, you just say, what's that? It's a bear bag. No, it's a bear. It doesn't come along because if you have all your food
Starting point is 00:44:22 at your campsite, the bears will come if they do, and they'll come right into the gifts. But if they come and they try to get this, they're 200 feet away from your campsite and they can't get it. Because it's just a little rope hanging down. You understand? So anyway, can't they climb trees though? Yeah, but it's four feet out.
Starting point is 00:44:39 So it's on a branch that they can't climb out on. They're not big enough to bring it. They just can't get it. They can't get it. And if they do, they got it. They deserve it. It's a lot harder for them to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:48 They deserve it. So, hey, guys, you earned this. You earned it. Yeah, good for you, bears. You know what? Hey, yo, get good work. You guys earned these freshly baked joggers of cookies. Well, there's only one big one.
Starting point is 00:45:02 I learned how to make a big one. It's a camp cookie. It's a camp cookie. It's a camp cooking camp. So you guys sit around a campfire and pass to go. Now wait, you, now Joe doesn't drink or party. You don't party. You already do like 40 much rooms or anything. No, I didn't do anything.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I was telling you, I brought these amazing Cubans I've had for I think two years in my, we've smoked the big ones though, not the smaller ones. The big ones. And we made fucking tea. It was, I know, I'm not a tea drinker. Where's the water from? We have the water.
Starting point is 00:45:37 There's soyer systems. It's, you can just dip it into the river. And then it filters it, so that's what we did. And you had the thing to purify it so that's what we did and you do you have the thing to purify it that's what it i just said that exact thing no i use it filters i'm not talking about purifies it yeah it is put on a coat so i anyways
Starting point is 00:45:56 wait i mean i'm gonna finish the story i know it you told me in the car all right goodbye less buried music fair listen to my wife hate me on rye kiss the same network patreon dot com for sledge for some body this week in new york monday through uh... Thursday i'll be at the begata then friday was very music fair
Starting point is 00:46:16 go to rich for stock up this week next week when it's not this week no next week next Friday but monday this sunday through there's a good book out of Rich, listen, hands down. Well, it's funny. Skies. Legend. Thank you. Off stage. On stage, he's good. On an off stage. I'm asked to stay into fucking solid good. Off stage. Funny. Sky walking. I'm gonna take a pee before I leave.
Starting point is 00:46:43 You don't downstairs. I'm gonna take a pee before I leave you downstairs. All right Anyhow we We get up there. Thank you so much. You taking off Thank you so much for this bye Becky I didn't meet you, but nice to meet you on Paul Legion of skanks and she's helping produce Skank Fest this year Which is when is it Second weekend to July second weekend in July Skank Fest go to skankfest.com for tickets. I think it's so is it almost sold out
Starting point is 00:47:22 Yeah, single day passes. It's a fucking blast. The shows are insane. And she just gave me a fucking cute. Oh, that's a nice fucking thanks. Thanks for coming up, sweetie. I'll see you later. Take care. So check this out. Fucky faces. Now that the abermost is gone. Not yet. I know. So, so we we we were sitting there. We ate dinner. But look at man, I'm fucking dead. I'm done. A four hour hike uphill downhill. Downhill is worse than uphill because you're using your quads and your knees, right? I'm fucking done. I'll see you later. Later.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Father's day. I told you not yet. 90% sure. 90% Father's day, the roast, the legendary roast Bobby Kelley Jim Norton, Colin Florentine, everybody. Father's day on Vimeo will send out a bunch of stuff. You'll find it. One of the funniest roasts. I was there for that. It was incredible. Yeah, amazing.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Everybody killed. That's nothing. Anyhow, I'll see you later. I ain't five buddy. Bye, Heritage. See you, man. Close my phone. She's like, it's literally like with my grandfather.
Starting point is 00:48:38 He does this cool thing, makes his thing, gets a laugh. Where's my phone? Are we gonna, are we gonna, really? I'm not from my phone. Can you do a little one? Yeah, but you don't have to scream. Where's my phone? Are we gonna, are we gonna, really, I'm not from my phone, can you do a little one? Yeah, but you don't have to scream, where's my phone? Just look, young people. I'm a little hard of hearing, so I talk louder.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Yeah, but you don't need to go, where's my phone in panic, everybody? It's here. No one's here, Pat, ain't it? Yeah, but we all looked, we're doing a podcast, and you go, where's my's my phone like you couldn't find It's it's a day in the life of fucking one day camping shut up What the fuck are you laughing you big Indian?
Starting point is 00:49:19 I just look over is a big guy He'd be hiding behind Mike the whole time. I just look over you fucking really guy. He behind behind Mike the whole time. I just look over. You fucking really fans. You really big motherfucker. What's that? Yes, yes, Minnesota is, are you from Minnesota? Yeah, both of us. Minnesota is one of the most underrated and best comedy cities in America.
Starting point is 00:49:39 It's not underrated at all. We know that it's one of the best comedians know. Comedians know. Yeah, but if comedians know then people know Yeah, but not everybody likes to go out there not all come you know people here But oh, I heard that but they don't go. Oh a lot of comedians don't I say Acme comedy clubs are one of the best clubs in the country. All right. Well, I don't know why you're yelling at me I just like the people I talk to maybe cuz you fucking telling me I'm not a fucking primitive camper
Starting point is 00:50:04 I never said all the fucking said I was not a fucking primitive camper. No, no, no. I never said that all I was saying was in a park. I'm having cake. I just said, I mean, I was fucking having cupcakes. You were better than you do at home on this thing. You could have fucking done the two miles out of a treadmill and planted fucking fitness and you would ate worse. You would ate worse. You weren't having fucking muffins that day if you weren't doing that
Starting point is 00:50:27 Look there was rattlesnakes It was my last muffin I wanted to fucking muffin real camp it is your killer rattlesnake You have two pieces of beef jerky your killer rattlesnake my fish it all right look Camping in the fucking 20 Microwave with you to pop Could just made the jiffy pop on the fight. That's a good idea. That's a great idea. It's actually meant for that.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Yeah, about. Well, a little, not like that, but you know, I have it. Here's the deal. Oh. Dude, okay, so, so we do this hike. It is a brutal hike up and down. No, it really is.
Starting point is 00:51:02 It's not an easy hike. It's supposed to be a medium hike on all trails, the appets as medium. It's a little above medium if you ask a chubby guy like me. It's maybe medium for a hiker. For a guy who hasn't hiked, I did like a mile hike with Max on Sunday, you know what I mean? I thought I was all ready for this fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:51:22 I'm not. My body's devastated. So we get down to my feet hurt. Everything hurts. We don't go standing. Oh, fucking. Finally sitting down. Having tea.
Starting point is 00:51:32 It's the best cup of tea I've ever had. Smoking the cigar. These two, these Joe and Ari make a, they just make a great fire. You know, Joe will use a stick and nosewear to like Prop the calls and make it and then Ari has to blow on it because Joe's mouth too small It was one of the funnest things ever he went And nothing happened to the fire Joe's mouth was so small
Starting point is 00:52:00 I go I go what did you have one birthday candle on your birthday cake to you a fucking 17? All right, it's okay. Honey, let's try again. Nothing. So, so they had this fucking sick fire going. It's around a, I know, 10, 30 quarter of 11 smoke in this fucking cube and drink in a flat T. I mean, nobody around for miles, except for these two, oh, the guys, fucking each other. But no one else, right? Seriously, unfuckin' believable. You can hear every bird of frog, every fucking beavers. Just tons of beavers all around.
Starting point is 00:52:39 All the trees are fucking, like, you know, a tube of water to fish or no. It's a fucking lake right there. We're little camping at a lake, lake echo. Right there's a beaver dam, like right over here. So what about the stuff that we read, anything weird? Okay, so check this out. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:57 No ducks disappearing or? Fucking, so I go to bed early, I go to bed at 11, 11, 30, so I'm fucking wiped. I'm just done. These two young cats, they're still talking by the fire. So I get in my tent, I get everything, I get all my stuff, I'm just my blanket, my pillow, I'm fucking, I get there, it's just awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:15 I'm in my tent, the breeze is coming through the bottom of the tent through the tent, so I can feel this, like an AC coming through my tent. They're talking, you can hear him just, you know, yapping about philosophizing. Oh, you Netflix. Oh, no, maybe you need minorities, right? What do I say? So, so, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Then they're like, all right, fuck it, we're going to bed. They get in the camera, zip, zip, zip, you know, we all get into bed around one something, around one 10, one 15. I think around one something, around one 10, one 15. I think around one something, Joe goes, there's one of those dragonflies. So big dragonfly on my, outside of my tent, and I go like, oh, that's like in the review, right?
Starting point is 00:53:54 Remember the review? Yeah, yeah. This crazy, creepy review. I don't remember the dragonfly. Yeah, they're gonna say these are these dragonflies. Okay. So around five minutes later, it's dead. I mean, so quiet. I've never heard
Starting point is 00:54:06 this type of quiet. And then we hear this. They became like women like that in the bed. No, not you stop. I mean like that you stop him. Stop. I just I literally had sound in a video for these people Dude 100 yards away from our tent. Yeah, dude right there. I hear that at night all the time, but not that close Close and you know what you're in a fucking house with a phone right right no Cell service or have my sandwiches No, I know why they were fucking screaming at each other. It's my pretty cute though. Get the money down! Salami! Salami!
Starting point is 00:55:31 Praloo! Praloo! Moussa... Oh shit. Oh fuck dude. Oh shit. Oh fuck dude. Oh shit. Dude, we hear this shit. I'm talking. I mean. Did you all get up after like 10? We were all up. We did just with the bed.
Starting point is 00:55:56 I was still kind of going to the desk. What did you do? You did. Because I did all the research. So I told them about the snake bites, what you do. And I told them about bears. No worry, we hang the bear back. So I did all this research, so I told them about the snake bites, what you do, and I told them about bears, don't worry, we hang the bear back. So I did all this research about this particular hike
Starting point is 00:56:08 and all the stuff, but not one video or anything that I read, I talked to the park rangers, you know, Ranger Lee, I mean, I talked to all these people, right? And I literally, what do we have to worry about? I get, you know, we're all kind of new at this blah, blah, blah. Not one fucking person me so Joe goes Bob What do we do about that? And I go I don't know and Joe went what?
Starting point is 00:56:38 We sat there in silence for a half hour Maybe it was just a two gay guys having sex next to you. There she is. I should have took that to the roast battle. You could have word around your neck. Did you what so what time would you say you like went to bed bed like we did it. We didn't stayed up all night. Well here's the thing I had to wear my mouth guard because Because I snore The bear would have even ignored him I
Starting point is 00:57:23 We get what a see seepap was funny We all thought it was funny. You got a new comic era Get it even more seepap of the wood sounds a little something like this I'm not even joking around. I've done a lot of these and a lot of great ones on YKWD. My forehead hurts. I've never had the thing above my eyebrows fucking be sore I mean these lucky pigs are getting a good one So so we did we were in dead silence now so it's trying I mean it's like someone I I have my knife. I have, I have bear spray. Joe, Joe goes, Bob, what do we do? And I go, I have the bear spray.
Starting point is 00:58:33 He goes, well, what about me? Right? Who said that, Joe? So now we're sitting in the silence. I got my knife, I got my headlamp, I got bear spray. Headlamp? You're a fucking coal miner? No, you have to wear a headlamp, I got bare spread. Headlamp? You a fucking coalminer? No, you have to wear a headlamp.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Yeah, that's ridiculous. You have to wear a headlamp. How you gonna see it, night? Walkin' around. Flashlight. It's a flashlight for your head, dumb dumb. It makes sense for camping. It does, it makes everything.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Yeah, you're making a joke about something. Tennis shoes, thank tennis. How you doing? Hey, I'm with that. So fucking, I had baseball. 10 issues to pay tennis A hat in baseball it's the Sun's out just way you hear Listen, I'm trying to help you I love her. What are you thirsty? And you've ain't you want to live? Oh Shit I Compton with the gay gay sex where you don't want to die is
Starting point is 00:59:34 1984 joke When people die to wait Oh Republicans called it. Yeah. That's what Jesus called it. Um. So anyway, is, are you don't think you're mouth funny? Ah.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Ah. So anyways, so I mean, dude, it was so fucking quiet. I was almost, I almost wanted to start laughing because, listen, okay, I'm, I'm, I'm afraid, okay, but I got a knife, I got three knives. You know, I know Ari's a fucking Wolverine. I, I, I, I just, I just pictured you. We know what you're doing, right? So many things attached to your body. So, scared in the woods.
Starting point is 01:00:21 So, I got my knife, I gave Ari a knife. Ari has a knife. But I know Ari's a fucking, he's got a psycho too. Like I know he, if something attacked him, Ari would fucking fight it. But I know Joe has, Joe, you know, Joe's scared. He's a nervous guy. He literally had a fucking little tiny cut on his hand.
Starting point is 01:00:39 I'm talking, not even blood coming out of it. Paper cut. And he's sad to go in and yeah, he's gonna get infected. What are you saying about, for 45 minutes, and he's sad to go in, and yeah, he thinks he's gonna get infected. What are you saying? For 45 minutes, to the point where I was like, Joe, go get, he went, open, open the emergency first age joke.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Go to the refrigerator and get something to eat. So you get like this in your hungry. You're so nice. The snickers go very slow. You know what, you don't make lasagna, just go get the tray. Okay, I don't need this. A thousand band days in there, whatever you need, ointment. So, we got it literally.
Starting point is 01:01:17 If you saw this cut, there's a pharmacist behind the tree. God dog, fam, we brought him. It's a obaji girl. Chinese guy is chopping up. Joe, catch his shrimp in your mouth. I thought he was going to do onion volcano, but catch his shrimp in my mouth. I can't, I can't. I'm going to open your little mouth. I can't I can't I'm gonna change up I catch a pee
Starting point is 01:02:02 So we we uh I feel like I'm on a ride. So I feel like I'm on a fucking ride right now. Oh, God damn it. So he's got this little cut. I literally have to open the emergency first aid kit. It's sealed because you're supposed to use it in an emergency. So we have to open it up. He's just he's going through it. He's putting he opened up a thing of Bass attracin. What did he cut it on? Was he worried about like, I don't fucking know. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It wasn't it wasn't bleeding. It wasn't abrasion, not a cut. It wasn't bleeding. So he's like, oh my god. You know, my cuz he has he has the OCD thing, right? Where he starts going nuts. So he puts the thing on, he puts a bandit on, then he's just going through the first A kit, just rummaging through it, right?
Starting point is 01:02:49 Excuse me. So I know that Joe is in this fucking, I know Joe is in this tent, fucking terrifying. I almost started laughing at the fear, because I was scared, I was fucking scared. And it takes a lot to get me to that point. The hailing scared you. Listen, dude, it was really close. It takes a lot to get me to that point the howling scared you listen, dude It was really close. It's a pack of coyotes. Yeah, I don't want to fight. Yeah an animal
Starting point is 01:03:13 You gonna box it? Well, I don't want to fucking come here. I don't want to fucking fight. I don't want it You know what I mean? Are you acting out again? We got me I was doing it for me! No one else. We did it twice though. We got it the first time. I know, but make us laugh. What did you follow through? Make us laugh.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Make the people laugh. And they got her. I can make her laugh, was it? She fucking looked nothing. I make that broad laugh with nothing. I was just finger gestures. Oh, vagina is fucking. look it, she's nothing. She's easy fucking.
Starting point is 01:03:49 All right, it's what it is. That would be scary. That would be scary. That would be scary. That's why I was talking about the gun. Like that would scare me. Buddy, at that point, I'm not even kinversy. I heard you going,
Starting point is 01:04:00 say about a gun. No. In my head. If you had a gun, do it, you had a gun. Hey, have a, is that a fucking fuck? It's like, peshy who just go to the gun. If you had a gun, do it, if you had a gun. Hey, have a, is that a fucking fuck? It's like, peshy who just fucking in the helium. Is that a, get your head out. He's got a tray of sushi.
Starting point is 01:04:13 He's got a blood milling meter. He stepped on my joke. You cock-sucker. How is my joke? I was trying to get out. What? And there's cock-sucker-made-and-sushi. I was gonna say I'm a fucking pound of fucking,
Starting point is 01:04:23 I'm about to fucking stakes. Right, I already hit stakes. You're gonna say I'm a fucking pound of fucking Fucking steaks Right already hit steaks you gotta think out of the box You know Shoesie trade was a good one. I really did like that's funny You didn't really do think out the box. I went back to steaks you to the left and that's what good comedy is She thought of me saying we I was trying to get that joke out I was really going and you kept like anyway
Starting point is 01:04:52 she's trying I was like oh such a good job so much better than mine fucks y'all I was gonna say stakes again whoa done I'm hoping to die. I'm like, close. So here's, so dude, here's the deal, okay? So it's sitting there dead silent. Now we're trying to, I'm like, you know what dude?
Starting point is 01:05:14 I'm going to bet, there's nothing I can do. I fantasize a little nose, sniffing through it and I'm gonna fucking stab its nose. I got the bear spray, but I'm gonna open up, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna open, I'm gonna come out of my tent, straight out and spray in a circle. Like fucking, a rock timer film, with the camera panning around me as I look down,
Starting point is 01:05:35 and I was gonna just kill every fucking dog there was. I would have done it. It's a bullet, it's a Rudyard Hock's hot dog. I would have thought that. I would have thought that. I would have thought that. I would have thought that. I would have thought that. It was my bad hard. Well, we have a good time today.
Starting point is 01:05:54 I mean, this one is wild. Yeah, it might expense. I wish this was NPR. I wish this was NPR. I wish this was NPR. I wish this was NPR. I wish this was MPR. I always shows on another, some other fucking interview, just one comic in me. So then what'd you do, Bobby? I've had the wolves.
Starting point is 01:06:08 I've had the, my show. It's a fucking hammering. Anybody else's show? That was on Robin right now. He'd be like, he's a chef left. That was on Robin right now. He'd be like, so then what'd you do? Do you remember the time when I ran into a frisley? I don't know why you guys didn't do a big tent
Starting point is 01:06:28 and all staying one together. Okay, because that's gay. I'm not fucking staying in the tent. No, no, no, no. Have you ever heard Ariesha fear fart? No. Let me tell you something. I got the nicest four person 10 for my family, okay? It's an orphan. Have you ever heard Aari Shafir fart? No. Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 01:06:48 It's brutal. It's like a... Okay, no. You know what, you win with that. You don't even have to go with it. I don't need to do that. I'm gonna replicate what his asshole sounds like, and this is no joke, ready?
Starting point is 01:06:59 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's one fight out of disaster. It's like a broken truck. What is he eating? Well, my wife has, we had a couple bags of beer.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Yeah, a lot of shit. Yeah, we had a lot of food. I know he's leaving out at least two things that we don't know. Clifffuck. So listen, so. So drop every break. Oh, every break.
Starting point is 01:07:37 I can blow back. You guys, you guys all dead in here. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. So we get, we, now it's, I don't know, 45 minutes later. I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna bed. Everybody's quiet. It's fucking dead silent.
Starting point is 01:07:51 And we're pretty much every is in their tent waiting to fucking die. And I fall asleep finally, and then I wake up and my, the, the, the, my side of my body. I bought a three inch, 30 inch wide, three inch high, air cushion for the, no, for the, it's a really high end one I bought off the eBay, but they're refurbished.
Starting point is 01:08:14 So instead of 180, they were 80, 60 bucks, right? Dum move. Around a 45 minutes later, I just feel my body is frozen on one side, decide. I'm just on the ground And I'm my fucking air mattress deflated Which was just humiliating Because after all the food I ate in my weight
Starting point is 01:08:35 It's like I can't even return it because if they go how much do you weigh? But like well, didn't you read the directions? Said 250 and under Which is on I can't even ride my kid's zip line. So, most rides I can't go on. The saddest league story ever. So, we're sitting there. We're sitting there and I'm pissed,
Starting point is 01:08:58 because now I got the fucking bear spray, I got all the stuff in the tank with me now, and then I look over and I didn't shut my tent, zipper, because when I grabbed all the stuff, the tent with me now, and then I look over and I didn't shut my tent. Zipper, because when I grabbed all the stuff, I forgot to shut it. So now I got, I literally had a grab on moth, the size of my head, and just crush it in my hand, because it was in my tent and just throw it,
Starting point is 01:09:17 I was fucking awful. So I'm rummaging, and I guess it must have sounded like I was being attacked. Because, because, Joe, Joe started panicking because he thinks I'm being attacked in my tent. Because it's just me, just this noise of somebody able to attempt flipping up, right? There he goes.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Robert, he's never gonna go, is Robert are you okay? I'm literally... I'm pissed, I go, yeah, why? I'm pissed because my fucking mattress just deflated. Am I just going to murder a fucking mothra? Am I fucking tent? So, I'm going to blow my stupid mattress back up. I'm out of breath. It's a fucking nightmare middle of the night. So I gotta blow my stupid mattress back up.
Starting point is 01:10:05 I'm out of breath. It's a fucking nightmare middle of the night. I gotta roll over one way, pull the mattress out from underneath my fucking torso, blow it up, and then roll back onto it. And now, I mean, every 20 minutes I'm sleeping and waking up, we've got hours before the sun comes up. I just wanted to go home.
Starting point is 01:10:27 At that point, it's like, I just, so none of us slept. We all woke up, I think it's six. That got no rain. That would have been the worst. Well, let here you go. We wake up, we, we, we, we like pack everything up. We make some tea. We have a couple cliff bars.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Eggs been a day. Well, no, I had eggs in bacon in the packages. We were supposed to have eggs. Eggs in bacon in the morning. I have these little packages for hot water. Unbelievable. We're the bottom of sleep. So we had tea and some little whatever packed up and goes. As soon as we hit the fucking trail, it just starts raining. It's wet. That got on the way out though.
Starting point is 01:11:17 So we're on the way out, exactly. But we got to go up this riverbed. That's the trail as an old riverbed. So we're walking up there. We made it up there real fast got up to the top coming down sucked Literally 15 minutes out before we'll go back to the car my shoulder fucking gives out like I have this bad shoulder thing And it just I took my bag off first sector rest I put it back on and tweaked it so I'm walking in my head. So my head is like oh I look like I have fucking like some type of spinal injury. I'm just sitting
Starting point is 01:11:56 there like this and I was like yo man yo what's wrong with your face like what's wrong. This hiker walks up this guy he's literally a fucking sleep slippers this fucking guy. He's in slippers like a hiker hiker He's in like a just a regular clothes with slippers hiking. I'm just fucking out. I just spent $7,000 on hiking to go up this guy's in slippers. He walks over and goes what's wrong? Like he knows something's wrong. What's wrong? I go my shoulder, he goes take your pack off, and he goes, give me your arm, and this guy stretched me, did all this shit to me on the fucking side of the mountain.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Then Ari, this is what a fucking, this is why Ari should fear is one of the, he's hilarious, but he's just a fucking great guy. And this is how you know a great guy, okay? Grabbed my bag. I carried it for you. He goes, I'll carry it. I go, no dude, I'm not doing that.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Ari is a good dude. I go, I got, we got 15 minutes left. I got it. He goes, dude, why are you gonna, who gives a fuck? I'll carry it. You already hurt yourself. I've done that a many times. I can do it.
Starting point is 01:13:00 I'll do it. And then you fuck it up even more. Yeah. He goes, just do it. He threw my bag on his front, had his bag on the back and walked down like the 15, 10 minutes. Manch is not unbelievable. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:15 So we got back down, we threw our shit in the car. I'm immediately went and got a small cheese, three chicken props, and ordered a fresh kind of fries. Ha ha ha. We ate like we, we ate like we, we ate like we, small cheese, three chicken pops, and order a fresh kind of fries. Ha ha ha ha. We ain't like we, we ain't like royalty. I've never seen anything. We ain't like we're out for four days. Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:13:35 What the fuck is he? I didn't eat like that at home. I wasn't in a woods. I didn't fucking eat like that. You all gained 10 pounds on this camping trip. I didn't. I'm gonna eat like that. This is fun.
Starting point is 01:13:45 We fucking ain't laying on somebody's business. We should have to buy pizza. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. You know how glad I am that I asked that question. Buddy, while we're fucking, we're initiating new people in the bushcraft party boys and
Starting point is 01:14:07 We're thinking about you. I'm in Well now I'm really on the list. I can't my whole life. I well settled down. I feel like I could do it Gabby we're already discussing you too hot. Come on. We can't bring We can bring a hot I hear yelling. It's just them outside my fucking tap like I want to see what the next man is gonna be but yeah He was the review of the menu before makes his decision We can't bring Zach because he's been recognized him. They're recognizing them up in the woods. Zach the killer's back. How do you know? We saw him up and over looked past. We killed the first girl. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Dude, come out of the woods with rattlesnakes on all Because he used to live at that abandoned hotel Bobby don't worry guys were good. I talked to him. I talked to him. We're good I'm gonna go talk to the coyotes after Now we talked about Gabby with Gabby's there's no way I'm not because I'd be too nervous First of all with you out there with fucking a bunch of push craft party boys. There's no way I'm not because I'd be too nervous. First of all with you out there with fucking a bunch of push craft party boys There's no way 12 hours in the woods you have to gang bang Well, here's the thing 12 hours if there's a coyote attack
Starting point is 01:15:40 Then you start have you have to start gang banging then you start having you have to start gang banging. You're gonna repotulate. Justin Kasey. Be funny if you say, oh, and then here, Gabby's tent open. Guys. Guys.
Starting point is 01:15:55 Guys. What's happening? It's just me and the woods going, oh. Oh. Oh. And land. Just eating cookies. Oh. Oh! I had lamps. Just eating cookies.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Oh! Dude, it was. No, I mean, we do want to do another one. Dude, I would love to. I think, all right, we get it. All right. I would, I don't want to go for a duds. Let's go longer than a day.
Starting point is 01:16:20 Hang on, settle down. You're gonna bring your own axe, or you chop your wood up. The re, I actually have a custom axe. I have to sit on my own axe too. I want. Settle down. You're gonna bring your own axe or you chop your wood up. I actually have a custom axe. I want a fish for dinner. Yes. Any of you don't catch it, you don't eat. I'm gonna get it.
Starting point is 01:16:31 But don't order it. You don't have Bobby Chazee. He's got to eat, are you? If we don't get it, if we don't fish, he's got real bombs. So there's no problem. Right. I think I think.
Starting point is 01:16:40 I got a salmon in my pocket. I actually do have a, I'm having a, I have my knife maker. Yeah. Yeah. My name is Bob. I just couldn't write through a cake. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Yeah. There's a hot knife through butter with this thing. Right. I have a new act being made. He may take, he gets old acts heads from the 30s at the bombs. How much of the bear bag? And he, how much was it? How much was in the bear bag it was a lot I mean the branch was bending the tree over the bear about to snap fish oh oh I forgot about this
Starting point is 01:17:14 I took my first shit in the woods whoa did you bring did you bring dude wipes did you bring wipes I brought of course I did no no savage no but I'm I don't mean I know you're gonna wipe yours, but did you bring the wipes wipes? What the fuck is a wipe wipe? Yeah a baby wipe Yeah, of course I did okay, okay, okay, we talked about it. We talked about it I brought a role a whole role, you know that that changed the whole game of your of wipe in your ass all like it's what baby wipes Yeah, so it's dude wipes. What's the difference? They make a bunch of wants for no, all right, no no, they're not. Well, you keep seeing dude wipes. It was actually on it was on shark tank. And then somebody gave me somebody gave me a baby wipes. So you know, baby, baby wipes. Well, there's a lot of different chemicals that are just like, and they're not flushable. Dude wipes are like
Starting point is 01:17:56 flush, thinner thinner. They're flushable. Yeah. And like, I guess they've, they made for men. And it's awesome. So you wipe your ass regularly. And then you just fucking finish it out with the wipe and your ass is Steve. That's what I did. Yeah. Well, I I didn't think I had to go the bathroom, but as soon as we got there, I Found a tree I dug a hole. I had to like go up against it and put it Dig a hole though. You have to bury your shit. You can't You just have it on time. It's illegal 150 feet away from the campsite you that I get but you got a bury It's illegal you have to dig a hole. Yeah, you can't you're getting trouble the bears aren't burying it
Starting point is 01:18:30 Well, I'm not a bear. I'm not a bear the human barely a human Fucking punny You fucking everything, aren't you here in all common? Good singers fucking puns Weird Weird face You're an all-common. Yeah. Backed out. Good singers. Fucking puns. Oh, man. Which will be without a weird, weird face. So yeah, I did. The shit I took was, I was like a horse.
Starting point is 01:18:53 I didn't dig the whole, I thought. Of course I was. Look what you ate. I'm not going to be like a Vietnamese egg roll. What are you talking about? I'm not going to be like a cat. It's not going to be a cat shit. It's going to be a...
Starting point is 01:19:05 I mean, shit, a pumpkin with everything. Yeah. It's going to be a mess. Ah. And look how he said it's a prize. Do you see how she's like a horse? I can't believe it. You know, you're 10-quarters meal.
Starting point is 01:19:17 What do you know? He's going to top down stakes with Rice Pee-Lo. I don't know what would happen. And now there's room for dumplings. So... What are you crying? Yeah, and now there's room for dumplings What are you crying? Uh, uh, so So your telling is about your shit So I get to the picture
Starting point is 01:19:37 I mean, sometimes you know put two into the guy that was so after like, yeah I find Yeah, I try to raise He told us everything that he fucking ain't I took a life altering dumb what do you know but I shit the whole I shit so much the bears were like what the fuck is that I shit I shit I shit I shit so much that I I it was enough for the whole So I had to I had to dig a hole next to it and connect You think I never dug a whole book? I swear to God! You think I never dug a whole book?
Starting point is 01:20:28 What are you putting a coyote car in your seat? I'm fucking off! I took a horse! It's a funny thing! It was a podcast! It's a funny thing! He talked about everything and he was surprised. Oh, you have to name this podcast, Horset.
Starting point is 01:20:47 It's the funny thing that I heard. I like Hayori Gargets. Oh, my God. Dude. I've never, I haven't laughed like this high. Oh, my fucking face hurts. I thought this was going to go a totally different way. By the way, I thought you guys could be interested in my story.
Starting point is 01:21:10 I thought you guys were gonna be, what happened next? I thought he was going in a totally different direction. He's like the flurry of the tolia camping. Yeah, this is camping in a cooking show. We're gonna show on the food network. I literally drove in here and I was like, these guys are gonna be so into this story. We all never agree, it's...
Starting point is 01:21:42 Oh my god. I think I'm can tear it up I worked out Mother good this I shouldn't know better You two fucking ass Don't boss came up why would I even think why would everything this would be like a nice interview So then Bobby, what, so Bobby, what kind of equipment did you have? Well, that's funny, you asked that. I had a, I had a 3FUL 10.
Starting point is 01:22:16 It's from China. It's ultra light. I want to talk about my stuff so bad. Like I'm gonna have to go on like a camping podcast. I'll find a bushcraft podcast. Well, next time, the next time we go, we've, I mean, we're not doing that cooking shit. We're gonna bring like a package of hot dogs
Starting point is 01:22:40 and maybe Udels and Lulers and look out for one drink. I hope I'm not on that one can I get one like this please The fuck is that I don't want to do that Here you guys complain the whole way up the mountain how this one sucks We coby beef at this point on the mountain last time Here Paul get bubble gum last time was unreal though There's a skiddle go fuck yourself Here's a slim gym until eight tonight. Yeah, it's Starvier's self-bagged
Starting point is 01:23:21 Wow, I'm not saying that I'm just saying that I brought three stoves I brought three I mean I brought three cooking stuff. I brought an alcohol stove I brought a gas little stove and I brought my firebox stove that you put wooden That's the only this is the only can't be true. I heard where people gain weight You're supposed to lose fucking weight can't be tricked by her where people gain weight you're supposed to lose fucking weight came back your body is that you were stuffing it for 12 fucking hours fucking cruise ship you know what I'm saying you gain eight pounds on a cruise
Starting point is 01:23:53 next one we're gonna have Lenny Marcus actually do some comedy you woke up and then one in your pants fence. Oh my god. Oh my god. Dude, Mike's throwing out zingers at the end of just killers. There's no chance for him to live. He's like, hey, in any pants fence. I'm like, he's swinging kid. I fucking like it.
Starting point is 01:24:22 You know you're going to have a good evil one coming out of you. Oh God It's unbelievable. Well, I think the chicken palm the piece of the story Bobby. We oh my god We We We're not gonna next time we go we're bringing tea We, uh, yeah, we're not gonna, next time we go, we're bringing tea, like coffee, I brought coffee. There's no need for coffee.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Coffee doesn't taste good. I mean, it was fine. Well, coffee's, yeah, I mean coffee, coffee, cream, and sugar. Coffee, keep your, I'm a coffee, like, black or like with a little something, and the morning is one thing. Memibu, let me taste a hot cup of tea,
Starting point is 01:25:03 a big fucking thing you put on the fire. I love tea, too, it's good. And then maybe a little sweet, it was just fucking great with a tea, because the coffee isn't, like tea refreshes you, you know what I mean? Like coffee dries me out. It was pretty amazing though. I mean, we literally dinked dunk in your fucking, water bladder into a river, and just fucking drinking it was crazy cool.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Did you guys fish or no? I didn't bring my fish in equipment, but if we go back to that hike, I will bring my fly rod. Or I'll bring a spinner, I'll probably bring a spinner because there's no way to go in, but I would definitely bring something next time I go. Absolutely, because there's trout in that water. You can see them rising just before the the summit down and when the sun came up
Starting point is 01:25:48 It was mission in general so much fun. Yeah, you can Like stick like you smoke a stick like fish. It would be great. Yeah, you could fish this lake There's a lot of shit though. It's hard to get out, you know, but do this beaver everywhere to this fucking massive beaver everywhere It was not that If we went if we went we'd have to go like on a Monday again when nobody's up there right and I mean we're gonna put together another crew to go back What next we're gonna do is uh forget it has it's a waterfall You hike up to this awesome waterfall. Oh, come on, let me go. Let me go. Yeah, but you don't have any hiking equipment.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Yes, I do. What do you have? Not a lot. But a little bit. Do you have a tent? You need a tent? Yeah, what kind of tent do you have? Don't know.
Starting point is 01:26:37 What do you mean you don't know? I don't know what kind of tent it is. I have an old tent. Yeah, but is it a one person or two person? It can't be like a five person tent. You're a Coleman, you're dad to know. a five person tent you a Coleman you dad get a tent I'll get a tent you'll get everything. Yeah, then I tell you to get yes, you want to dance. So does not go You know what you got up
Starting point is 01:26:55 Shut up you bitch I'll go I'll get the tent. Yeah, we do characters in the moonlight the moonlight Look i odys pop me out funny how honestly though what me and you at the top of a mountain in the dark would probably be listen romantic it would be it would be I said I said to both of those guys I go the only thing that could have made it funny is if Verzy was here the pure panic in his head, but Bobby, dude, fucking answer me, dude. What the fuck was that? What the fuck? Dude, I can't get out of my tent.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Oh my god, that was weird. You would have lost your mind. If you lived through that, and it was that exact sound, Puba, that's pretty much exactly what we heard. A hundred fucking yards away. A football field away, right there, which is not that far, when you're dealing with, like, the middle of nowhere,
Starting point is 01:27:57 a pack of coyotes making that noise, and we didn't know what it was. I mean, we knew it wasn't wolves, but then we're like, is there wolves? You know what I mean? And what do coyote eat? I found out that coyotes don't eat adults. They usually take children or small dogs. Cats, cats, a lot of chickens. Yeah. Yeah, they take small things. They take little prey that they can handle. But we didn't know that. We just said that, but I was like, if Verzy was here, it would be so funny. Just hearing
Starting point is 01:28:23 you fucking, dude, dude, what the fuck man? I would have told you we should have had a gun. I would have fucked. I would have told I would have said we're not bringing entire restaurant that attracts. So well, we the next time we go with not we're we're bringing package of hot dogs, maybe noodles and noodles because it's super. Been great. This is not for you make with water like the noodles and shit like that.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Yeah, just just that shit because youin' yeah, just that shit. Because you really didn't cook in that meal, was a pain in the ass. Because I had to cook this fucking three, I had three serlons. Right. And I had three bags of fucking rice peel if I had a cook. And I had to bring all that equipment to cook it.
Starting point is 01:29:03 It was a fucking nightmare to bring all that shit. So next time, light on the, everybody brings their own little food, what you want to eat. Yeah. And you carry it. And that's it. And then you cook it in a little,
Starting point is 01:29:14 these Stanley cops and water. That's you get to bring water, that, tea, simple shit, smoke stokes, and then we're done. So if you want to go, I'm, we're putting together bushcraft party boys too and we gotta kinda go through the people cause you gotta make sure you fit.
Starting point is 01:29:31 No, here's the thing, you gotta have the right people. If you're gonna go into woods with somebody and like, cause it is a bonding experience and if something happens, you wanna know somebody that you like and trust. When I say something though,
Starting point is 01:29:40 every, as soon as we get up there, everybody just started doing the thing that they knew. I started setting up the cooking stuff and, but I started eating, already did the 10. But I knew how to set up all the tents. Like I knew Joe, I researched their tents. I know how to start fires. Yeah, I started the fire.
Starting point is 01:30:01 I started the fire. So me and Joe started the fire. Yeah, but you started the fire when you get to the top. You said, yeah. No, right when we got to the bottom of the, with the lake was, right there. I set up your site. I set up, I, me and Joe started the fire,
Starting point is 01:30:14 then I started the fire in the little stove. So I got stuff going. So what happened? You hike and then come back down? You hike up the mountain and you come back down to the other side with the lake is. And that's where you're set up. That's where we are in the middle of nowhere.
Starting point is 01:30:26 Like dude, it's a it's a five four hour and three and a half four hour hike that way or go back up the mountain to two hours that way. And you didn't see anybody other than the two guys. It was two hours. It was two hours. Oh no dude. And one guy with the shoulder. No, we saw people going up to the Bruins, but staying overnight, which is echo lake. If you go to echo lake, you're staying. You're not going back up.
Starting point is 01:30:52 You know, so we, those two guys were over in the lean two. Yeah, we didn't see anybody. And they went to bed like fucking eight. It was like nine. Right when I got dark out, there was no, you know, they were just in bed. We were sucking each other off. I don't know what the fuck they were doing.
Starting point is 01:31:04 But you know, we were up pretty late. But yeah, no, dude, the next one we do, I think, we go up to, there's a less traveled hiking trail, but it's up these falls, and you see this beautiful waterfall, and then you go to the top of that, and you make camp up top there, and then we just hang out, but are you supposed to get, do a sick hike, right?
Starting point is 01:31:24 Really a motherfucker way, like, uh, get to somewhere. That's what that like, there needs to be like in my eyes, what I like hiking are reward like the ruins that old hotel. I get to see this. I just hiked all the way the fuck up. And this is what I get. And then okay, we're going to do the second half, which is the lake. And now sitting around smoking bats
Starting point is 01:31:45 Having tea with my bodies. No, you can't swim in there. You could but I would never do that shit But that's that's the fuck that's just yucky gooey fucking the beavers ever I don't want to fuck with a beaver beaver's aggressive Dude I when I fly fish in my boat up in the hamstring with the beavers are they come right over and just fucking slap the right next Year boat out of the slap there to scare the fucking piss out Almost fell out of my boat Was like what the fuck is it? Little you on the lake by myself. I went what the fuck is that?
Starting point is 01:32:21 Fucking asshole for miles Some poor lady in her fucking cottage. What the fuck is that? Oh, shit. Crazy. But if we do it, but very key who you bring. Because if you bring somebody and they're just sittin' there, it's like, fuck dad.
Starting point is 01:32:39 And if they don't, and if they beat like, look me, we all kind of snapped at each, you're gonna snap at each other, because the hike is a hard hike. And there's all that point where I got mad, and then, you know, I told you to have one. He's always got a couple hanging in there.
Starting point is 01:32:57 Joe kind of got a little pissed, and Ari got mad at me, because he was putting his tent together, and he was just, it was like an hour, and I was like, dude, what are you doing? What are you doing? Stakes are done. I just made, I made a dinner,
Starting point is 01:33:09 but in the time you're putting your tent, and it was like, oh, we're gonna fuck it and you gotta, then he come over and you kind of apologize. So it's like these little minutes of fuck use because you tired or annoyed. And then it all goes away. So you have to make sure that your friends, you can't just go up there with fucking anybody,
Starting point is 01:33:24 and then they turn into a twat four hours out of nowhere, and you're fucking screaming at somebody on a lake. Yeah, the last thing I want to do is lose a friend on this fucking thing. So, but yeah, so we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna pick up the next thing. We thought of you, but you just, literally everybody was like, she's too hot.
Starting point is 01:33:42 You don't wanna fucking be around a hot chick. Millen nowhere. I could be around you, cause you're like my little sister. You know what I mean? But if you wanna go, I'll tell them. You wanna go? Can you, we're very, listen, the things we say are horrid.
Starting point is 01:33:59 Baby, I'm trash. Listen, no, you're not this trash. You're a liberal vegan trash. The shit we said, our careers would be taken away. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
Starting point is 01:34:12 There was a point where we tested how far we were out. That's great. So I don't want you, I don't want to deal with you as fucking I want to go home I don't want to be in these cock-sucking races fucking pieces of shit. I'm gonna walk you up a fucking mountain You follow me up your father mesus with a helicopter at the ruins Bon Jovi helicopter He's playing the organ. Shut through the eyes!
Starting point is 01:34:47 I just got a hug on me, I surprised. Fuck it, but she does this devil horn. Can't be in a bad name. Now! Fireworks go off. Bon Jovi's in one of the windows of the ruins. Just a silhouette Cowboy
Starting point is 01:35:12 I will definitely we talked about verzy is a good we love verzy be funny Just because you if God forbid the car. Oh you would have been a little bit. Yeah Should I just stay home I live in the woods Hear the shit all the time, but I got a door I will we didn't think we were trying to think we can only come up with like four people that could do it You know they make I know yani wouldn't do it. I already told me yeah Well, yeah, cuz he's doesn't want to fucking crease his sneakers Tell me. Yeah, well, yeah, because he's doesn't want to fucking crease his sneakers.
Starting point is 01:35:43 Well, yeah. It's... Bloody, I got my sneakers, a fucking crease. He's a fucking Jordan 279s. Yeah, I don't think he'd do it. Chrissy D might. Chrissy might. Yeah, he dresses, I mean, even though it's like really high-end fashion, he dresses in a
Starting point is 01:36:03 lot of camo. He might go... I mean, even though it's like really high-end fashion, he dresses in a lot of camo. You know what's, I know it's supposed to be a man thing as far as like privacy and that's what I would want, but if there was like four of us or certain characters filming it somehow would be so hilarious. Well, yeah, that's the thing. You know, I mean, like even like a GoPro or just like something funny, but I get it.
Starting point is 01:36:24 I get how it compromises the ruins of Brotherhood. It know, I mean, like even like a GoPro or just like something funny, but I get it. I get how it compromises the. I'm the brotherhood. I don't it does. It definitely does. And I agree with that. I would. Everything can't be. Not here.
Starting point is 01:36:34 Look, it's hard because I get it. There's just, it's just a point where I actually pitched a show about like this. Once where you take like generation of comedians. So you would take like, you know, somebody said, he said, how are you gonna get him out? Oh, no, Dommarir, we're gonna drop him in half a fucking parachute. Hey, guys,
Starting point is 01:36:49 I'm down in the parachute, but I think I'm gonna hit the leg. Bada Bing, bada boom. Hey, there's an auto. What the fuck is this? Get me out of here. That was pretty good. But I get that. Yeah, it's like, you don't want to tape. You don't want to, but you don't want to tape. We can't, the things said would be so fun. We can you do a podcast up there?
Starting point is 01:37:08 We did a podcast for Joe the night before in my shed. We did a podcast in the car on the way there, and then we did a podcast on the way back. So it's going on a skeptic tank. But on the way back, I forgot to turn Joe's mic on. So it's just on skeptic tank, but on the way back I forgot to turn Joe's mic on so it's just him and background I think I Yeah, I fucked up, but no We did a fireball. Yes, we did a partner. Here's the thing with that first of all carrying that shit in is gonna be a nightmare
Starting point is 01:37:39 Second of all it we we're doing this to get away from all this shit Yeah, we're doing this to be in the middle of fucking nowhere and just talk And no no phones no cell service. Yeah, there's no nobody was on their phones Nobody fucking tweeting nobody looked at emails nobody was like hey give me one sec. You're all eating I can't tweet I got mail on my fingers. So, we didn't bring condiments. So, I forgot that in the house. I did. I forgot a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 01:38:18 You planned on bringing condiments. So, yeah, there was none of that. So, the whole point of it is for comics for us to go out and just and hang out. And but you have to bring people that work together. Like Joe and Ari went and just got wood and came back with a bunch of wood. I kept the fire going, then me and Joe went and found
Starting point is 01:38:41 a bear bag tree. I told them what a bear bag was, I told them what tree I needed. He went and found a fucking tree. And I told them what a bear bag was it told my tree. I needed he went and found a fucking tree And then I we all went and I showed him how to hang a bear bag and blah blah Then went back when we all did shit and even the next day I don't have to worry about you and your tent like Joe and his tandem We all put our shit back together and and ready to go everybody Did their own shit? So you want to make sure that you don't want to sit there and go go do it. Can you help me? I don't want to I mean a little bit. Yeah, we I helped you a little bit here
Starting point is 01:39:09 and there, you know, but you want everybody to kind of have their own shit. I don't want to bring somebody who's just going to not do work. Right. And then push off. Right. That asshole. So I'll see, you know, Mike, you can't go. No, I'm too poor and I can't do it. Yeah, I mean, but I do have a tent versi for you if you wanna go. You know what I think? I really wanna go. All right, whoever goes, maybe you,
Starting point is 01:39:33 you know what, you could buy your tent. Maybe if he goes, I'll use your tent. Yeah, he could use my separate tent. You, I'll tell you what tent to get. Okay. You can spend a couple hundred on a tent, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:44 Yeah, what about you? Sure. Yeah. Okay, cool. So maybe we'll do that next time. I'll see. It's got to go through the bushcraft party boy executive board. Yeah. And once we make the decision, we'll be adding more people to the next trip. Nice. Probably one more person. I can't do it. I loved it, man. Yeah. It was the best. Yeah. I mean, you'd have to be able to deal with Shafir's asshole Like personally or in a lot of manner. Here's the thing I wake up this morning and what are you here? I'm taking a piss outside my tent because I was no idea. It was not leaving my tent on night So I'm taking a piss. I'm in mind the way on my shoes, okay, and my shirt
Starting point is 01:40:18 I look over and I you know are he gets out of his tent walks over and I look over Completely naked and I already gets out of his tent, walks over, and I look over, completely naked. Yeah. I'm like, dude, put your fucking, you know what I mean? Like he just walks out naked, and you're like, oh Jesus Christ, just this fucking big Jewish thick hog. His dick looks exactly like his face.
Starting point is 01:40:40 So I'm like, you know, I don't, you know what I'm saying? I don't want you to be like, you know, me hashtag me too. If you see ever and later and you'll see all their hogs. Well, we're also gonna have fucking manners if she's there. It's like everyone's gonna go get me. No, that's a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, listen, I don't want to walk around your cock out is what I'm saying. Hey, buddy, if I want to, if I want to fucking rest my cock
Starting point is 01:41:07 on a rock next to your shoulder, while you're having a fucking cigar and have you go, what the fuck it and scream like you saw a coyote? Not that I can rest my dick on anything, but if I could, I mean, that's the thing is we're going out there to fucking, you know, say whatever you want to do. It doesn't, nobody's, it's here. Right. You know, it's is we're going out there to fucking you know say whatever you want to it doesn't nobody's
Starting point is 01:41:25 It's here, right? You know it's we're not there's nothing. It's just us hanging. Yeah, so that's what it is if you can deal with that Then you're good. I don't want Are you not to fucking get negative? That's what he wants to do is a joke, right? Yeah, I mean I Don't care to see it, but yeah, dude, you think I want, what are you saying? I don't want to fucking see him naked either. He just fucking did it, but it did make me go, what the fuck is it? What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:41:52 Yeah, yeah. It was like I was sitting there and it's beautiful. The lake is shimmering. First thing in the morning, we survived the night and then he's just sitting there naked. We were in Phoenix doing a festival. Yeah. And they had a podcast studio that was like a aork glass storefront. Yeah, and you see all the studio audience there
Starting point is 01:42:08 And you just see everybody and just are his buck naked just sitting on the podcast just people on the street walking by the storefront Just looking he's there naked. I think he pissed on somebody I don't like it. No, many other but yeah, you piss on me. I'll fucking murder you You know, I mean, but I would love to show you after that. Yeah, we're gonna we'll have to vet you make sure you're okay You could that means fine. Well vet you and then if there's a point where you're like, yeah, maybe not you know what I mean I'll put your name in I'll put your name in too. Thank you, but all right. Well, I took a fucking hot one on this one but Yes, this is a tough one
Starting point is 01:42:43 The funnest podcast I been on in my life. All right, what do we got? What else do we have? Oh, there it is, the fucking coyotes. Beautiful fucking animal though, isn't it? Mm-hmm. What's that yelling? What do you mean, eh, look at that color.
Starting point is 01:42:54 No, it's not. I'm not wearing majestic. Okay, yeah, June 1st, I just want to tell you guys, Westbury, theater, me and Vos. I mean, it's a killer show. And it's a beautiful venue. And with selling tickets tickets like hotcakes. So get your tickets now. Don't wait. Go to my website, get tickets there.
Starting point is 01:43:11 McCurdy's mother fucker. I'm back at McCurdy's in Sarasota, Florida. Then I'm at Vermont, Burlington, and I'm going camping again after Vermont. Burlington Vermont on the, I can't use scrolling too fast and you passed it. I'm old, you gotta slow down down June 14th to the 16th. I'm doing that gig and then me and Dawn and the kid are driving back and doing a K.O.A. It's a K.O.A. It's like a family campsite. Oh, you know, you pull up until a lot of certain 36 and a half. Yeah, I'm, you know, I'm fucking going to cook again. So anyways, fat back pussycat, you guys did great by the way. That was a great show the other night.
Starting point is 01:43:50 Thank you. Yeah, she hosted Fat Black Mike featured, and then I went up, Iru's late. It was a great, that was a fun crowd, right? It was really fun. Great crowd. And it was go to robbercully, rob, Robert Kelly live.com. I'm going to cap city Austin for the first time. And then of course, get your tickets for me hosting the
Starting point is 01:44:11 national show in Montreal. Uh, I'm very honored to be asked to do that. That's one of my favorite shows I've done in a million fucking times, but now I'm hosting it. How much fun did we have in Montreal? I do. Going to get dim sum and just Montreal is the fucking best. I just remember you with the fucking... Hey, you wanna get some yogurt? No, no. No, no, no. They have frozen yogurt and I go, yeah,
Starting point is 01:44:32 and they didn't have gummy bears. No, then you walk it. No, you want frozen yogurt? No, I want a frozen yogurt. They have gummy bears. Many gummy bears. I don't even know what the fuck that means. Me, you, and Bob Marley.
Starting point is 01:44:44 Bob Marley went so that awful movie Pacific Rim. I didn't think it was awful. It was dark It was just remember how dark it was in the cinema. I was you know silly, but Roll much fight in the ocean. What do you do? Creams with kids. I just booked it again August 14th Ron Bennington. This is a village underground. Do you've done that before right? All right, I'm on that one. You're on that one. Yeah, you are Kristi. Yeah, yeah, uh, it's it's one of my favorite shows that I produce
Starting point is 01:45:15 Ron Bennington and Gail hosted Hopefully if Gail's there because she's pregnant And it's and then we have the all I just tutored I must be nervous nice We got a great line of verisies on it. I the Christie's on it. I think who else is on it big J's on it It's great. It's gonna be a killer show creeps with kids. It's about it's a show about parenting We all do stand up and then we do a panel at the end about how we parent as just fucking crazy comics So check that out. What do you got in? I am going to be at Vermont comedy club this
Starting point is 01:45:53 Friday Saturday opening for Nikik laser right and so you I mean you're fucking with her now Yeah, I mean she's been really kind to me. That's great man. She's gonna take me out a lot. Yeah, so good man Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's so fun doing that. Yeah, man. Really really really fun. That's awesome I'll do like a pre-tape once a week and then I'm in there live every Thursday too. So how many days is she there? She's there money to Thursday money to Thursday So well, we'll do sometimes we'll do a pre-tape. That's like every other week and then I'm there every Thursday On the show and then I'll sneak in do Bennington after it's too, which is like great. I love that He's oh it's a best man God, I love doing his show the live from the shed episode is out now
Starting point is 01:46:34 Yeah, that can I tell you right now to FYI edited By Gabby yourself look she edited my fucking show by Gabby yourself. Look, she edited my fucking show, live from the shed at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. The great Ron Bennington scroll down to the show. It is live from the show right there. Ron Benning edited,
Starting point is 01:46:56 do you see Jim Sierbiko edited it usually, and then Gabby stepped up and she said, can you do it and she fucking did it and killed it. Thanks. It's great. That's awesome. Bennington is the best. You two together, man.
Starting point is 01:47:09 Must have been amazing. Oh, it's so good. Oh, that's so good. I mean, those two, I mean, I'm not gonna watch it, but I, I, I, I'm kidding. I will watch it. I will watch it because those are two of my favorites. Yeah, Bennington's great.
Starting point is 01:47:20 Yeah, he's been really good. You, Bennington and Nikki have been so kind to me, man. It's just, I, well, you're a nice guy. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. But yeah, it's kind to me, man. It's just, I, well, you're a nice guy. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. But yeah, it's a cool man. I am. Are you gonna cry?
Starting point is 01:47:30 No, I'm not gonna cry. And cry. Little right. Listen, I just want to say, Paul, it was really nice to be here next year. There's another act out. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 01:47:39 Ah. Ah. Ah. Hey, also, I just sort of, I'm going to have a week of the Creek Creek June 19 to the 22nd. Creek in the cave. Long Island City. I'm going to do.
Starting point is 01:47:51 I'm going to do an Irish club too, man. Yeah, yeah. If you live in Queens, Long Island, go to that club, support the shows. Go to his week at the Creek. Have you had any of that club? If it wasn't for that club, Dan Soda, Joe, so many guys, Mark Norman, they wouldn't fucking be doing comedy. That's where they went to fucking do shit.
Starting point is 01:48:09 I mean, Legion of Skanks, because of fucking that club, give him a home. That place is the best place to go. Rebecca is the shit. Fail and get better and keep getting better. Exactly. Go get a burrito and go watch it. Rebecca is the best. A week at the creek. Yep. Thank you. Um, what do you get?
Starting point is 01:48:28 I don't can you pull it? I'm I know me to be I just add it. It's I got a podcast. What's your brand new brand new website? You got it. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, no, those are just oh, the benefit, yeah,, unfortunately the benefit from my brother-in-law is they we have to change it We have to scrap it so it was supposed to be June 10. I don't even want to get into it on podcast. Why just just shit happened So what does that mean? It shit just went bad with the venue and I pulled it. I pulled it So so you you pulled it what yeah? From the venue I pulled it from the venue. Did they give you a hard time?
Starting point is 01:49:07 No, they gave me a hard time, but we're supposed to do it June 10th, and it just didn't get up there properly. It wasn't promoted properly, and I'm not doing that to my brother-in-law's cause. Rest is soul. So we're gonna, we're gonna get another man. Jesus, that hurts my heart. Yeah, no, did you say that line to them? What?
Starting point is 01:49:20 No, no, no, I just email. It was just an email and I'm like, I don't want to do this to my brother's car. God's rest is soul. No, I didn't talk to them. I didn't talk to them. I just email it was just an email and I don't want to do it. My brother's car guys rest his soul No, I didn't use that. I didn't talk to them. I just said that email. They know. Oh, they know, but they should oh really they know Oh really yeah, they know, but we're gonna change that and I'm gonna do it and say venue No No, no, so we're falling out so I'm not gonna say it's a fallen out, but it's just I'm walking from it this year So it's just wow. Yeah, we've done it there three years in a row It's been amazing shit, and we're gonna so that's gonna be changed
Starting point is 01:49:52 But yeah, I just have right now I'm back from the road everything's local. Oh, I'm doing that June 11th That thing in Pleasantville with you and Benning is Bennington on it. I forgot Do we plug that? Is it on mine? No, shit. I'm supposed to put that. Yeah, but that's that's a thing, right? That's a thing man. Yeah, when is that plug it? June 11th at Pleasantville and I think the lineup was like me you Nathan Mackintosh already laying Jesus Christ Yeah me you Nathan Mackintosh alreadyed a couple of other people doing that I'm going on in the middle. I'm not fucking waiting on life for that shit
Starting point is 01:50:29 What I'm going on that this what happens with benefits. This is what they fucking do It's like you get two guys to do an hour Yeah, and call the fucking night. Yeah, but with the benefit they they want to load it up 19 fucking one guy says, get it and then all this guy, I'll do it, I'll do, all of a sudden you have fucking 12 guys on a benefit show. Yeah. And they always want me to go at the end.
Starting point is 01:50:58 Well, you gotta go on the end. Because you're, you've been doing it for so long, you've been doing it, you're the, no you're the get no no no no no no no no Yeah, I'm not waiting I'm not waiting for fucking maybe already shows up or not Right you understand and then I'm not fucking doing that. Yeah fucking nine get three guys Two guys three guys at max. Yeah, just fucking God damn it, you know And then go off a bid someone goes over five minutes, everybody goes over, now you wait in an hour.
Starting point is 01:51:28 Crowd, look, nobody wants to see comedy for two hours. You're acting like it's already a disaster. We're gonna be in a theater. Like, we don't know yet. All right, you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
Starting point is 01:51:39 I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm be a nice set up. I'm just saying, you're closer. You got a new website. I got other, yeah, other, for other dates and stuff, actually, be and added now, check out the new website, PaulVersi.com.
Starting point is 01:51:53 Also, please check out TVE, the Versi Effect podcast. I want to thank you again, and, Ryan Kess, and Zach, for letting me do the last TVE we did was me and Jerry Farara and we had a great TV the version effect I said that's you doing the TV no very similar to YKWD well well first of all I know he is cornered I've been doing my podcast for eight years I actually have acronyms I'm gonna say something okay first of all I call it the verzy effect but people show me with TV I'm just saying I've been doing the only one with initials. Can I get a podcast? EMI, this is Wild World IFW.
Starting point is 01:52:30 He's trying to get that up for a fucking half hour. Just got just interview Scott Crawford from salad days documentary. Check it out. It's really great. That was nice. That was nice. It's such a fucking new the new version, the new comics that are out there. Fuck you old shit dicks. Hey guys, I'm gonna promote my shit right now while you two old fucking douchebags fight it out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:51 Oh, this Thursday. Right, thanks Paul, thanks for letting me out during that one. Couldn't get a fucking, a fucking half a chuckle out of you. I just took a fucking hot one in the face. I took you to the fuck suckers. You didn't take a hot one, you were with us, it was very. Yeah, it was, we were laughing with you.
Starting point is 01:53:07 All right, what else you got? No, check out the Versa Effect podcast. I had a great one with Jerry Ferrara, and this was awesome. We loved using this studio, and thanks, Zach, to that was great. Yeah, and that's it. And Comedy Solar Vegas. Yeah, Comedy Solar Vegas, that's in, that's gonna be in August. Yeah, Bobby. Me, you, Keith, and that's it. I'm comedy-seller Vegas. Yeah, oh comedy-seller Vegas. That's in that that's gonna be in August Yeah, Bobby me you Keith and Vos yeah, that's gonna be crazy. Yeah, you book your tickets now motherfuckers
Starting point is 01:53:32 That's gonna be a sick weekend stay at the Rio you see us popping around Vos is gonna have me up a some god Fucking godly hour to play golf. Yeah, cuz you can't play golf in August out in the sun It's like 115 degrees. Yeah, you're getting to play early. Yeah. So I'm going to be end up smoking sticks with you late and then waking up early doing that. But we'll have a good time with that. And I got more, uh, yeah, and I got more dates, uh, coming up on the end. Please subscribe to my Patreon. My Patreon, uh, I'm throw extras on there. I just put a two hour Patreon that me and Bobby did, which was talking about his, it was like pre camping. Yeah. And uh,
Starting point is 01:54:04 it was, we had so much fun smoke and things. We did a whole scenario that almost happened. That was weird. Yeah, you guys, check that out. We talked about something that was a hypothetical and then he gave a review, it was actually bizarre. I said, what happens if this happens, or that happens?
Starting point is 01:54:17 And then we read a review of something that actually happened. So it was weird, check that out. That's on both of ours, that's a duel, right? That's a duel. It's a duel. It's going up on one-on-one this week on mine Okay, my patreon it goes up on my one-on-one for my patreon people only yes So yeah, and like I said for more dates check that out check out the pockets. Thank you for having me Yeah, you got you the fucking best. I don't want to read the review. I sent it to Verzi. Okay, you ready? This is the fucking review
Starting point is 01:54:43 That somebody wrote about this thing that we just went on. Wasn't a pretty weird review. Ari? Ari. I mean, I was literally looking at Ari's face on my phone. Verzi, sorry, Verz. Yeah, you thought naked. I don't have to review your cock, suck it. GameFightInst.com. Don't be a douchebag can you keep you shit together? I know I was trying to be a fucking man I'm my show be a should be a man. Don't be a little girl. I was trying I wasn't be a little girl move. Hey man I tried to do it as a bit. Yeah, don't do bits. You're right. We don't do bits on the YKWD Well, I don't know what happened. I was I don't know I'm just fucking bus to this balls
Starting point is 01:55:24 But you're not helping me so now it just looks like I'm being mean to little. Oh, I don't know what happened. I was I don't know. I'm just fucking busted as balls, but you're not helping me. So now it just looks like I'm being mean to a little bit. Oh, no, you know, it's funny. I got quiet because you did so you did it so serious and I go, oh, did something happen? Did I miss something? I'm a real good actor. You are a good actor. Well, fucking mean by that. You know, you're just good. What the fuck do you mean by that? The way you the way you commit? Well, I don't know what to say what the fuck you're saying though. Wow. You you're good you commit. Well, I don't know what to say with the fuck you're saying though. Wow. You good at stories. You just the one story in my fucking town of fucking story.
Starting point is 01:55:49 I was trying to close the show. But you step in with the fucking. You mother fucking you almost had a. What do you got Mike? All right. This weekend, I'll be at the comic strip in O'Pasto, Texas with Nick Garra I just because you someone said are you crying and I just realized you always your eyes They're glistening they're always glistening. I like it though that
Starting point is 01:56:17 Left out last Antonio. I'll be there with Liz Meal for two days at six on the Wednesday Thursday first 6.566 and oh, they're having us back at this convention called Acon and Fort Worth, to the Nurtcore Comedy next month. And then I'll be at improv. What? Just always look like you're fighting a disease when you're trying to talk. I am.
Starting point is 01:56:39 All right, guys. So be your asthma, I'm always fighting. Oh, do you really? Yeah, I didn't know that. Why do you think I have this inhaler? Why do you think he coughs all the time? I've done it. You guys have been making Oh, do you really? Yeah, I didn't know that. Why do you, man. All right, what do you got, Gabs? If you're listening live, I have my live, I mean, my monthly show tomorrow at the way station.
Starting point is 01:57:10 Ian did it. Ian did it. And then next month, it's May 27th, and what are you laughing at? And I also have a new podcast with Katie Hanigan called A Pod Calipse. Listen to it, it's really fun. It was just a two difference between the plugs.
Starting point is 01:57:22 When Mike does it, I have a concern look when he's plugging his stuff and my eyebrows do this. When Gabby does it, I'm just like lit up like, oh, this is crazy. Gabby's like, I've got a new show happening and it's amazing in my own show. Again, it's still going on. Mike's like, I'm gonna die.
Starting point is 01:57:43 I'm gonna be fucking free die I am opening for Jared free This what happens when you have a trust fund and no money so Shit okay, where the fuck is my god First of all even if she had a trust fund doesn't mean that she has it now So I mean it's she someone has I mean what is that mean? I don't you don't have a trust fund now sucks So they just give you the money now. I mean, oh my god. What are you doing? Mike is hating on me a lot lately. I mean, you know what? I answer all the emails and No, you don't you missed a couple
Starting point is 01:58:20 He's wait he wants round two roast bad He's like Rocky and Rocky for running up mountains He's waiting for this shit. He wants Listen Michael Open my cut my inhaler is coming bring it bring the straight from the gas tube Let me snore the gas what's going on? What do you Mike? What did I do to you?
Starting point is 01:58:47 Bobby little stick little stick. Look at you trying to fucking my whole team's fall to buy. Yeah, yeah, you're kidding right? Yeah, I'm kidding. You're kidding. Yeah, trust me. Look at you're gonna have to
Starting point is 01:58:58 take the trust fund joke every once in a while just because I mean you do have something coming your way later. Let's be honest. Let me tell you that. If you went in blue dudes and did heroin for the next 10 years and then got your shit together, you'll still have some money somewhere, right? Thank you.
Starting point is 01:59:17 If Mike, the only way he's going to have the money you have right now is a 22 year old on your own that you make. Don't ever. Don't ever. He's to marry your brother is the only way I on your own that you make. Don't need organs. He's to marry your brother is the only way I could do that. Jesus Christ, how are you funny now? Shit. Why did you say the sh- the fucking- the roast?
Starting point is 01:59:33 What the fuck? Listen, what is it growing in here? Did you write a roast over the weekend to try out on my show? Oh, this is me not writing jokes. This is BBB Funny. Well, first of all, it's too much. It's too much. Gabby's a sweet girl. She's great. She's a great producer. She's great partner. She killed the
Starting point is 01:59:50 roast bad. I think the next time they should have the tournament, she should be in there. She'll probably win. This is the weirdest ending to any show, Mike. If you ever do this to me again, I love you. When the show great show up until the end, the end thing just lags. It's just, I mean, we had a nice out bobby the We want to do he's fucking throwing grenades at Gabby's face. You know what happened? This kid has claws Now he's doing I love about Ian just you can't say something without Italian
Starting point is 02:00:22 I'm Italian. That's the thing. You're doing it again. That's the, that's the hat you're in gay. Hey. Versi, that's the half fruit side. It looks to me, it looks to me. Well, you're not gay though. You're not gay. You're bisexual.
Starting point is 02:00:35 What are you? Yeah, I'm not gay. Yeah, the half. I'm bisexual. Half. So, every, every, every elections like, I like huffin' dawn. You know, what can you do? I'm a throw up.
Starting point is 02:00:43 I'm a throw up. You can't go. That was wild. I'm gonna throw up. You can't go. That was wild. I say wild camping. Well yeah, you have to do that's the best place to hoff a dog. How do you say it? Yeah, you hear a little earl.
Starting point is 02:00:52 Plus I wanted to bring hot dogs next time. And now I can bring them. There's something about him hoff and dogs. I will. You come out to take a leak, you just see. And hold it like before them. I want to thank. We didn't announce the people on the couch. I Want to thank we didn't announce the people on the couch Mike. Can you please announce these people?
Starting point is 02:01:13 I'm Jeff hi Jeffery Carla Carla you guys have a good time All right, thank you for coming. We got you from Minnesota, right and you just hear visiting All right, well anybody you guys thanks for coming in. I'm glad you guys are awesome by the way. I've been to comedy shows. No, we've just been up at Anthony's all day all night yesterday. Right. He's today went up the bonfire before we came here.
Starting point is 02:01:36 Right. Oh, Jesus. You guys are killing. Yeah. When do you leave Saturday? So we're milking this for everything we can get. So you guys got to do some stand-up shows. Yeah, we'd like to hopefully some point this weekend or even tonight
Starting point is 02:01:47 But the whole goal of the trip was just a run a week. It just straight comedy shit Wow You die hard shit You come to New York now and just do podcasts you got do you got to listen to mine now cuz I mean let's be honest like kill Okay, so I better I better better fuck get a fan of this what the fuck Do that to me what what do you what do you you are you get me the opportunity This guy is guy this guy always gives me time to shine this guy's the best listen by the way I would not be I would not be in a comedy seller for wasn't for Bobby stop We put it that is true. That's not true
Starting point is 02:02:27 Listen everybody who gets in needs somebody to you know, it's like a fraternity Is not everybody who get needs somebody and you have said enough nice things and that's why I'm there So I thank you but I'll be a gentleman and I'll never forget it everybody. I'll never forget. Okay. Thank you Okay, I'll give you the last word. Okay. No, no, it's a more more thing. I shouldn't but I should I this guy is a father like I have never All right, you guys are the best fans of the world make sure you go to my patreon sign up I love you guys the best fans of the world see you next week. You know what? You've been listening to the ykwd podcast
Starting point is 02:03:07 Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás!
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