Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Chunky Skippy

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

We're back with Paul Virzi, Yannis Pappas and Mike Calta in with Bobby as we continue our remote recordings! We get into possible betrayals, camping mishaps and who has the best personal cleaning methods. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma mal, a madrí. Right now! We're back, you know what's in live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. To the fact that YKWD podcasts. YKWD is back again. Old school is back in the day. We're all starting before them all.

YKWD. This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You're ruining this! Work the bar damn amount. Sorry. It's about any podcasts. And there's no rules. Shut up, you ruining this. Work it up, man. I'm sorry. It's not any podcast.

This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Yeah. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of you know what dude Alexa play

Fuck Alexa fucking blows fuck off Alexa. It's not happening Anyways Fucking day what day is it for this is a movie day 14 of the pandemic We're here. I'm in my shed. Gabby looks fucking strangely attractive tonight. Thank you. The first time I've just attractive. You don't need to strangely, but thank you. Whatever. Maybe because you look like a young Dutch boy. I always look like a young Dutch boy. That's why I'm back. I really love to meet you in Amsterdam at a cafe on a Friday night. Maybe it's also the Danica Patrick effect because she's surrounded by a bunch of ugly fucking guys. So you're like, wow.

You are. I'm just saying he's getting a little extra horned up tonight. And of course we have Paul a Verzy coming from the top of Westchester and we got a mishmike. We're supposed to have another guest. He's running late because he's I think he always runs late. I don't know. He's your best friend. He lives two doors down from your Verzy. Can you run down and look through his windows with that clock suckers doing? First of all, I think it's like six doors and no, I'm not leaving my house. He could, uh, I'm good. Are you gotten out? You don't know this, Mike.

Verzy and fucking Janus live on the same block. I almost bought a house on that plus across from Janus. Yeah. I mean, I love this house. It was fucking great. Right in our price range, I would have been on the same block. And my wife ex-nated because she was like, I, she didn't like the house. It was too fucking whatever, but it would have been crazy. But now, are you seeing, are you not talking to him

through this? Yeah. It's funny because he works past my house with his dog all the time. And me and my dog will be in the front. We just wave and talk to each other from the street and my front step. Are you kidding me? And his, his dog and my dog are super close. So he'll like let her off the leash and my dog and her dog just run around.

And me and him will talk like 30 yards apart. Mike, if you lived six doors down, I'd be at your house. Yeah, for sure. I'd be at your house. I'd be fucking eating. I'd be eating off. I'd be drinking out of your cup. I don't give a fuck what that.

I feel like my brother's like I can't believe my brother hasn't been here in three weeks. Like, he doesn't live that close to me, but it's odd that nobody's been in my house. Yeah, I don't understand that, Ver, does he have it? No, but you know, me and my wife are coming off the symptoms and me and my wife were pretty much told we had it. My doctor's in the front of my wife and I had it. I got you. Okay, I forgot that you had it. But I'm like 20-something days past it and And our the sense of smell and taste came back

both for me and my wife. But we just told just what the kids do. We want to just make sure the kids are all right. So we're just gonna wait like another 10 days before we take any chances. Make sure that everybody is good. But everybody's feeling good. But Yannis is not gonna take any chances either.

Yeah, apparently not taking chances on my podcast either. Well, yeah, that's not contagious. I mean, what a piece of shit. He left my network, by the way, and now he fucking blows off my podcast. If he doesn't come on this podcast, first thing I'm gonna do next time I see him is grab him by his fucking lapel.

Second thing, I'm done with him. I'm done with, Janice. If he misses this podcast, I'm done with him. I'm done with Janice. If he misses this podcast, I'm saying it right here. I'm done. We're done. Janice Poppiss can go fuck himself if he blows this part. I'll never talk to him again either. You know what's hilarious is when Janice does come on. You're gonna be like, hey, buddy, what's hilarious is when Janus does come on you're gonna be like, hey buddy, what's going on? No, not me. You just you just threatened assault. You just have time you see him. You're gonna fucking grab him and then he's gonna come out the hey buddy. What's going on? Oh, first of all, he doesn't ever wear a lapel. So I have no I said I said lapel. If he's not wearing a

pile, I'm not gonna do anything. Oh God. I hope he comes on with a lapel on right now. I don't even know what a fucking lapel is. I just said it. Um, now I got my new knife today guys. Two, look at that. Look at that. Huh? Look at that. Watch this. You ready? Oh, mother. Oh, look at that. Ah, oh, I'm ready for the populous. I think that's going to do. That's going to be great for the one guy you get when the rest of his fucking people storm your house. You got to get guns, Bobby. Yeah, that's gonna do that's gonna be great for the one guy you get when the rest of his fucking people storm your house You gotta get guns Bobby. Yeah, I got one yesterday. You didn't see the show yesterday. Oh shit I gotta I gotta shockwave the guys see the guy right there the other choppy guy Not him the other one the white variety The one the one that looks like mushy Mike if he had an older like all the brother of Moshi Mike

right there. Moshi Mike. He gave me. He gave me. He's got him. He got him. He sent me a fucking shotgun yesterday. I got the fucking. Look at this. I got the mini shells. I got the right shells I'm good. I'm good to go verse No, I'm getting I'm getting one or two of them. I'm not even joking I got a place the only place that's open right now. You want to go next time I go there? Yeah, yes Yes, tell me I'm not gonna say nothing watch this. Oh my god. We watch this. You want to see who the fuck I am, Burzy? I'm not gonna say nothing, watch this. Oh my God. You watch this, you wanna see who the fuck I am, Berzy?

Claire, you wanna see who the fuck I am? Hit your video button for God's sakes. Who me? No him. Oh yeah, you wanna see who I am? You wanna see the type of guy I am? The guy won't say nothing? What are you talking about?

What the fuck is saying already? Will you please go up to the top and put it on fucking speaker, the speaker view? Are you on your phone? Who? You. What?

Yes. Yes. All right. Turn your phone sideways. First of all, not as you're muted. Put on your video. Yeah, I miss put on your fucking video.

So you can see what kind of guy Bobby is. Turn the audio on too. Yeah, what's up Bobby? How are you? Westchester in the building. Hey, hey buddy, good to see you. Hey buddy. Hey buddy.

Great, thanks for coming on pal. I, you know, I, uh, I figured it was the right thing to do. I, I just, I just threatened your life, you clock, Saka. If you weren't coming on, I was going to grab you light by your lapel next time I saw you. And, uh, and fucking choke you out at the standup New York. Uh, what, what, what do you mean by the lapel? What is the fucking thirties? I don't know what a lapel is.

I just said it. I thought it was a funny word. Yeah. Yeah. Look, we're just a couple guys living with us just to live that kind of madman life. And it's a great thing. I know.

I love you. You know, Yonnes, there's no way Yonnes didn't just wake up from a nap, roll over, and hit the button on the phone. No, I actually came from a supermarket. It's a war zone out there, guys. We got COVID-19. Watch yourselves. Yeah, but out there, let me ask you guys

are in the middle of the fucking woods. You live on the same block. Versus he tells me you're not even hanging out. You're kind of staying away from each other. Yeah, you know what? Versus got the crown. I had the crown. But he's over it.

He's 28, 20 something days over it. Yeah, but it lingers until they know more. You know, I mean, I'm keeping them at arm's distance. Yeah. Yeah, plus we have. We've got to figure out the kids. I get it. Hey, we still talk from the street.

Yeah, you want to know it's funny, Bobby? Is I think for a while he actually thought that I gave it to him. And he was staying away from me. Like I was patient, Cero. He was treating me like I was that woman in Wuhan who was eating back. Versi, Versi will sh- Let me tell you something.

If it went down like zombie land, Versi will shut the door right on your knuckles. Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you something. We live, We live in an area that's so white that when me and Verzy meet up for lunch they ask us for our papers. That really is true. Me and Janice stand out. It's so like white Connecticut that when me and him go out and we just stand out as like intruders. It really is, dude. You guys have a horse people around you. Literally, yes.

Yeah. You guys live next to a questrians. Yeah. We've got a lot of people out there. New hamster, it's crazy. Bobby, what happened to the whole thing? Do you want to see who the fuck I am? What is that?

Yeah, I told them. I told them. I said, listen, I threatened your life with a pal. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were going to, we were talking about the shotgun. I thought something was coming with the gun. I thought you were going to,

you think I'm going to threaten you, honest with a fucking shotgun? No, I thought you were going to show the gun you bought or something. Oh, the guns in the house, some of the bed with the fucking round in the chamber. What's that? I'm going to do it. I gave it to Max.

I told him to play with him the backyard. I said, you got him. You went bought a gun? Yeah, fucking guy. And buy it. My friend Mike Calta sent it to me in the mail. I drove to the late the gun lady in fucking Port Jehovah's New York.

And I picked it up yesterday. I drove home. I got fucking shells. I got fucking shells. I got fucking shells, I got mini shells, I ordered a flashlight, I got fucking all kinds of accessories, I got a fucking sheet, it's called a shabard, what is it called a shabard? Something, I don't know, whatever, I looked it up on you to, and then dude, I'm all set, I'm building a gun cabin tomorrow, nobody wants to fuck with me, I'm done, I'm not fucking around. Yeah, a gun cabin tomorrow. Nobody wants to fuck with me. I'm done.

I'm not fucking around. Yeah, me and Verzi were getting rifles. We're starting the militia. We're getting ready. The only place that's open if you want to take a ride is the gun lady. It's an hour away from me. Where is it? Is it in New York?

Port Jervis, New York. Okay. A lot of the border. You walk in, you fill out one form, eight seconds later, you're a fucking proud American. Nice, that's right by the border, that's where I get my fireworks over there. Yeah, it's fucking great.

The lady, the great, they get all new guns, like 400 bucks, you're walking out with a fucking nice fat shotgun with shells. I love it. Mike, Speak Florida is like the Wild West, dude. We went, I performed there at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville. And one of the comics was like, Hey, do you want to go shoot guns?

We went to this like, sing that look like a big metal shed. And the shit they allowed us to do, I was like, how they were just like, oh, you want to do this like gigantic, also small handguns. One guy had a desert eagle, but they weren't allowed. He wasn't allowed to shoot that there

because I would have taken the back door off the fucking drive. We did it. He's got one in his lap right now. He's got a desert eagle right there. How do you have a desert eagle or no? Yeah, I have a desert eagle, 50 caliber. What?

When I bought it, the guy goes, it's the bullet on that thing is huge. The guy goes, what are you buying this for? I go home protection. He goes, oh, that's good because if the guy robs your house, goes to your neighbor's house and hides behind her refrigerator, you can shoot him for the wall. Yeah, home protection against raptors. Dude, I, Mike, I picked me up at the everyone's time and he had a fucking pistol on the mic, the passenger seat. Like, like it was a bag of chips.

He's like, oh, sorry. And he threw it on the ground. He's like, I got to get that off. Welcome to court. That's right. Uh, by the way, you don't think it's odd that Verzy has a fucking firecracker dealer? God, I did. And so you went to his place on 4th of July and then he lights up the sky like the

Boston pops. I don't know why, but I hate fireworks. I never was into them until I was never into fireworks until I had a party and it all started because my little girl was three or four at the time and I could only get the ones that were legal at the supermarket in Connecticut and they were like little fountains and shit and I have all these people by the fire and we start light and shit up Chris and Taya were light and shit up. Oh, that was a fuck. That's because you're on your phone. That's all the weird butter.

When it was when it was over you just hear my little daughter's voice go, that was disappointing. For a fucking, for a year, I told everybody, watch what I do now. Watch what the fuck I do now. And Chris Italia brought up illegal rockets from the Bronx. I'm not, these things should have been on the Macy's, be honest. Be honest, we'll tell you more than me. How illegal were these things should have been on the Macy's, Yannis, Yannis will tell you more than me, how illegal were these things?

It looked like he needed a permit to do what he needed to do. Yeah, it was like Barton said, it looked like a minor league baseball team show. Yeah, like it was nuts. So every year I had to keep it going. And then Bobby came up last year, Burr came up last year, a couple other comments that Chrissy D came up.

So I had to do it. And right next to Port Service, Bobby, Bobby came up last year, Burr came up last year, a couple other comments that Chrissy D came up. So I had to do it. And right next to Port Service, Bobby, there's a huge Emporia, where I can Pennsylvania, and that's where I got it from. I like it. By the way, you know where they get them from. That's probably where you got your coronavirus from, they all come straight from China. Yeah.

Right in the gunpowder, right? Yeah, you better throw those fucking extra sparklers away. But dude, I swear to God, he was telling me about this fireworks, this party, the fire. And anytime someone says they got fire, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. In my brain, I'm like, God, it's great. It's gonna be great. And then all of a sudden, he breaks out these fucking, he, dude, he starts laying out these blocks.

Like, I mean, I'm like, what the fuck? And then the funniest part was, you see him light these things, and then you see Verzy running away for his life. And it starts rolling off. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I get him, I'll tell you this, I'm going to get slammed for this. I get very emotional with fireworks Or did you like I get it though? It's America. I feel it's America. I feel like it's dreams as they're going up

It's like me all my dreams of popping and I can do what I want and I love the you know America and all my dreams are popping I don't know Bobby you could have just kept it at I get emotional. We would have been with you. The dream thing was what really fucked it up. Listen, I'm trying to open up here in the fucking. I'm in a valley of fucking corona here. I haven't seen people. I can't afford my therapist anymore. I need to let this shit out. Yeah, Bobby, you might have had it. Bobby, you might, didn't you might have this thing or like didn't you lose sense of smell?

Can I say something, can I say something, Versi? With all you getting mad at me? I mean, I asked you a question. I know, but I'm gonna, it's part of what you're at. Can I say something with all you getting mad at me? Give it, yeah. You, you keep trying to drag me into this Corona thing, but you know, Not for nothing.

You keep trying to suck me in with you. And I've never, look, I had a couple of symptoms, but I've never been tested. Nobody ever said I had it. But you keep going, yeah, we had it. We had it. All right, I don't need fucking, y'all not talking to me. If I see him, okay? I thought you were going to be the one not talking to me, so I'm happy to be here. Well, let's get into that. I'm going to tell. We don't know about this, Clarksaka. And this is the funny part, because as I start,

people start to call me, I start to get more information about these fucking slime balls. I As you know years ago Are you ready for this? Do you want to put your head down like an ostrich or you want to fucking face it like a man? No, I'm here. Oh I'm laying on the bed like a teenage girl on the phone. I hope you boy Bobby does this Can you go put a little pell on real quick? I hope I hope he has no pants on his little ass knuckles pop out. I really like to see a nice guy ass knuckle. So history high in has came to us a few years ago. You know, they were a little, you know,

they're trying to get this shit off the ground and I got a call from Jim server. I want to put them on your network. We want to really promote them blah, blah, blah. We're going to start a Patreon and you're going to get a piece of the Patreon and you put them on and we're going to get, all right, I'll get them a producer. We'll pay some of the producer they'll play and we'll get this thing off the ground.

We'll give them the studio. My machine mic's going to be all this shit and everything was great. And then the thing starts to progress and they start to get a little more popular. And then they leave Jim Cerepricot, right? Okay. And they come to me and I says, listen, what I say to you, Patreon, that's your Patreon. I don't want you to take your Patreon. You don't have to give us any of that money. I want you guys to have it. Make your money so you can make your show better and have, oh, thank you so much, which was a dumb move on my park is they're making $70,000 a month

now on Patreon. I would be able to stay home. And then whatever they get more popular and I mean, I'm a big fan of the show. You know that right? Always been a fan. Put it on my new, big fan of you, Bob. Put it on my network, right? But what happens with networks, as soon as the show gets popular, they want to fucking leave.

You know, they want every show that I've ever had, they fucking were out, you know. And I get a call from, as soon as they, I got the double text message, hey, can we have a talk? They've never wanted to talk. I wanted to talk to these cock suckers for two years. You can never get one of them on the phone, right? But now they want to, so as soon as they call, we're going to, we're going to all things comedy. This is the funny part, though, is that they were like, yeah, and I go, well, can I give you my pitch? Yeah, sure,

absolutely. So I give my pitch. And then I go, well, let me send you over to Matt and the honest goes, yeah, that's cool. We'll definitely listen to him. But we're with all things comedy. It's not going to make a difference. I figured honesty was the best policy. Yeah, it would have been honest before you went to LA and shopped a show around behind our back. That's honest. No, we didn't do it. No, it wasn't then. It definitely wasn't then. No, I mean, I'm straight to you. You're not a straight shooter.

You didn't even, I didn't even know you weren't happy. Well, I mean, I bet, I mean, it's not about not being happy. It's about, you know, it's just about, you know, trying to grow and get bigger and, you know, you mean the reason why I sold most of my company to a bigger company so that shows like yours would be with 800 pound gorilla. The you guys you guys want to talk about fireworks again. You're seeing some fireworks right about now. No, but listen, here's the here. Look it, here's the honest to God deal. I've had many of shows. I've, you know, look, if you want to get down to the nitty gritty, Billy's first podcast was me saying you should do a podcast. I've always been behind comics

doing podcasts. The comedy seller, my wife hates me. Misery loves company, even Nick DePolo. We hooked him up with his show. And all these shows have moved on, blah, blah, blah. I get it, I understand the business. And I love both of you guys. But I mean, your show is one of our top shows. And you picked a really good time right in the middle of a pandemic to leave my fucking network and go, you know, so I can't make money out. But

no, that's good. Thank you for caring about my family and putting, you know, friends first. But the thing is I really, you know, I love all things comedy with friends with them. We work with them and you guys are over there. And then that's the way that's the way the business works, You know, so. Yeah. Well, I got, you know, I got all good things to say about Ryecast and of course, you use personally. So you personally always one of my favorites. So I, you know, definitely appreciate, you know,

all that happened in the past. What made you start looking for a new home? We weren't, it wasn't like we were, we were actively looking. We just want to grow the show is, you know, as quick and as big as possible. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's, just know that I know, okay? Know that I know. Don't say, don't bullshit, know that I know,

and just say, yeah, we were looking for another place. We were not, we were, we were not actively looking for another place. No, that's that's that we were doing. So people would just come in after you? No, well, you know, when you show gets, you show gets popular, you want to make more money, you want to move up and, you know, it becomes a thing where you start to,

start to think how can we make more money? Yeah, that's what I, yeah, we're talking about. How could we, you know, you know, be an LA more et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's we, you know, be, you know, be an L.A. more, et cetera, et cetera. It's just, you know, it's, it's all about a fit thing. It's all about a, a timing thing, a fit thing and, you know, I've never wanted my phone to just get off your guard. Y'all is fucking stinks at the business talk. I mean, these garbage, it's a fit thing.

Shut up. You're, he's garbage. It's a fitting shot up. You're a fucking conksucker. You just wanted, you guys want to be fucking famous. You went to LA where the podcasts are, and you're like, we gotta fucking do. You know, I can, I can love to be on the plane with you two fucking half breeds on the way home. We gotta go to fucking LA.

LA is no good. I know fucking do. We could bring go to fucking LA. LA is good. I know fucking do we could bring Mauricio to LA that they fucking kill over there Puerto Ricans Mexicans. Same thing. Fucking I know how it went. I'm happy for you. I hope I hope you get a lot of success excess. And I hope you feel it the same time. I talked to Burr about it and you guys all things comedy is a friend of Ryan Cast and 800 pound gorilla or so. So there you go. Man, the funny part is if all thing comedy buys us in a year and you're just right back where you started. Well that'd be great for you guys. Well, we'll see what happens. No, I'm happy. Are you happy at all things comedy? I'm happy doing the show, you know, so it's, and especially now, it's, you know,

it looks like it's going to be the only thing we got on the horizon as podcast because stand up comedy, who knows when it's coming back. Wow. It could be a year, you know, you don't know. Yeah, I mean, it really predictable. It's very, I was talking to Nick Mollon the other day and he was saying the same thing. It's like people think that people think that they're gonna go,

okay, the clubs can open and people are just gonna fly back and there's gonna be a, it going to be like the way it was. It's never going to be like it was for a lot of clubs and a lot of people. And I think you're right. That's why I'm all in on Patreon and doing this because this is this is it. This is how I make my living now. This is through my Patreon and live from the shed and meet this podcast and, you know, I don't know if standups coming back anytime soon. Yeah, I think, I think eventually it will, but it's going to, it's not going to be a clean cut like, yeah, they figured this thing out. I mean, until they get a vaccine

and or a cure, I mean, everyone's gonna be really hesitant to get into a room together. I think restaurants, they have another option they can do take out, but the bar business, any bar business is really gonna hurt. And you don't even talk to your friend, Verzy for God's sake, he lives down the street as your best friend.

Never mind stranger. You're not, I do Verzy over time. Yeah, but you stand on the side side of a hundred year rock wall. You guys know you could have called each other and I could be with my family right now, right? Well, Burzy, when I and your mic is on jump in and say something, but I've jumped in and says, you said, are you tourist sitting here going, I know what the fuck you said on the plane. I know what you did. I'm like, what the fuck? We moved on to the fucking virus. Yeah, we're on to the virus now.

We're not even talking about that. You listening? Yeah. I mean, no, no. We're talking about the virus. We're talking about stand up comedy. You might never come back. Listen, we're talking about having to do Patreon.

Make no mistake about this. And I would put this down as another fucking prediction that I'll be right on is, yeah, I'm the first one. What? We don't know the first one. No, I'm just saying of many. What can you give us? Can you give us one? So we have a reference? Okay, I'll give you one. I'll give you one. The week before Tom Brady, glue his knee out in 07, I said he's going to get hurt for the rest of the year after this game

and he was there you go. Okay. So since so seven, you've been making predictions. What? No, sorry, but I wasn't on seven. Seven was a giant Super Bowl. Here's a thing with podcasts being as big as they are. And with comedy boom, make no mistake, too. We were during the biggest comedy boom when this happened. That's a fact.

The biggest comedy boom when this happened. That's a fact. It's the biggest comedy boom when this happened, okay? All the clubs in New York and LA that were established and staples were thriving, sold out all the time on weekends, everything like that. Now there's a lack of that. So you have to watch your favorite comedians wear through fucking telephones, through Zoom, through all of this shit that we're doing.

And what's gonna happen is, when people do get the clearance and people are itching to go out, comedy is gonna come back with a fucking vengeance. And I think it's gonna, but you're right. When it first opens up, people are gonna be hesitant to fill the room. But when a vaccine comes,

or when everybody is comfortable, maybe it is a year, maybe it's seven, eight months, who knows? But when that happens, I think it's gonna be fucking bigger and better just like it was because you're missing this. You can't see your favorites. You can't, you know, people are doing stand-up in their fucking apartments right now

in front of nobody and people are gonna miss it. I really believe that. Comedy is, I don't think it's going anywhere. And I think that the podcast will be good for now And they're gonna continue to go but dude you want to see your favorite comedians fucking on stage with a crowd telling jokes doing crowd work People are gonna miss that. That's just my opinion. Can I say something you might be right because I was actually talking to a normal about this and the 1918 of flu Situation I mean it shut down the fucking United States. And as soon as it was done, the roaring 20s happened.

Dude, they were nuts. Listen man, you got to understand, we're in day 17 or whatever it is, and people are going nuts, man. People are going fucking nuts, they're complaining. And think about that, this is 2020. These people have fucking PS4s, Xboxes. You can watch every season of fucking, you know, breaking bad and the liar and the sopranos.

You can watch anything and do anything you want. If there was ever a time to be in a fucking pandemic, it's in 2020 in a fucking house with everything at your fingertips, and people are already complaining and not happy with it. When I'm gonna say this, when you find out that there's gonna be an all-star comedy lineup at the Comedy Cellar,

and there's clearance, that fucking plate, there's still assholes in a park playing fucking Frisbee and riding bikes now. I mean, they should be shot and beaten with that, as far as I'm concerned right now. But when they get clearance, they're gonna be online. So I believe, and I think that's a good point, Bobby. Look, the roaring 20s after because people are tired of it.

People are gonna get tired of being told to stay in. And when the government says, you know what, go out, it's at your own risk. You're still gonna have something. But when it's really clear, and if there is go out, it's at your own risk, you're still going to have something. But when it's really clear, and if there is a vaccine, it's over. Everything is going to thrive. You think fucking movie theaters are going to come back? When it's all said and done, of course.

Movie theaters are on the way out anyway. Movie theaters are on the way out. I think malls are done, movie theaters are done. And one small thing about 1918 Spanish fluid that maybe no mist or maybe we're missing right now is World War One happened right after that. So a whole bunch of people died. So the roaring 20s, this is a dark, this is a dark truth about post wars, especially wars that killed that many people.

It's a boom for the economy because there's less people so there's so many jobs. So that's just something. I'm worried about, I think we're headed for depression, not a recession. Ooh, fucking interesting. Now that's why I'm bummed that we'll lose in the history of hyenas because that would have been a great episode. Fucking went from this one to that one.

Yeah, but there's a thing too. We did it already on ride gas. I don't mean to, I'm not trying to shoot down what you guys are saying, but if you actually look at the numbers, to even compare this to the Spanish flu is an insult to the people that died of the Spanish flu. The Spanish flu wiped out 57 million people. If let's just say this for example, because right now, the death toll, I'm being serious though.

I'm sorry, I just when you threaten me, you're like, dude, you're insulting, why does everything have to be mob with you? No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying. Let me tell you that's an insult to all the fucking people that died of this. I'm innocent. I'm innocent.

All right, all right, all right, what I'm saying is this. And they have no medicine back then. You gotta fucking rot in tooth, you died back in that. What, you're right, and I'm saying is this and they have no medicine back then look you got a you got a fucking rotten tooth you died back in that right I'm not right and I'm not saying I'm not I'm not arguing that What I'm saying is they showed the death thing right now is zero point zero zero zero zero one seven if we lose and God forbid If we lose a hundred and fifty thousand to000 people, that is terrible, that is awful, okay, it's terrible. But 57 million people and all of a sudden people started coming out again.

When they get a hold of this thing, I was actually talking to Burr and Burr was telling me, I mean his opinion was that he was just like Italy is starting to, Italy is starting to come back already a little bit. So it's like, let's just say we're in for seven months. You think Bobby that if the comedy seller open, I'm just and I'm being hypothetical here. If the comedy seller opened up the weekend before Thanksgiving, right? They opened up the weekend before Thanksgiving and there's an all-star lineup over there. You don't think that place is going to be bad?

Yeah, honestly, no. Are you shaking your head this, if he's not going to ask, are you going to be on the lineup? No. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, that's for sure. I won't be on the lineup. But the tourists aren't coming to New York. They're not, nobody's going to, at the beginning, the clubs that are still standing are not going to be able to just have post the regular lineup.

Nobody's going to come up just to see a lineup. They're going to come out to see the comedians who have fan bases who can get people in a room. So I think what's going to happen after this is there's there's going to kind of the comedians who are going to thrive or survive through this are going to everyone's going to reexamine how this business works because we all make money now on live appearances and now The ones who can get people in a room for a live appearance and have a lot more value to the club Nobody's doing nobody's just happy to have the spots to work out anymore Because they get a chance to maybe get on a TV show now It's more of a collaboration where the club's going. I got to get these guys in there We're doing a collaboration where they're making money, I'm making money. It's Tim Dillan and friends or Bobby Kelly and friends.

He gets a piece of the door, maybe a piece of the bar. It's a little bit more of a promoter deal, as opposed to, hey, here's just a line up of it guys. I think the exact opposite, man, I think some of these clubs are gonna be like, go fuck you, we'll give the tickets away, we'll pay you $1,500 to do six shows. It's going to be like after 2008, the improvs and all that. We'll give you a $1,500 for six shows Thursday through Sunday. And we'll, 2008 was pre-internet. That was before guys.

Yeah, they don't give it, they need people to buy the food and the drinks. They don't give a fuck about the comics. They need, they need, come in there. We're not going to give you the door. We're going to set, we're going to give away the tickets for free. Give them away, give them all away. And then get them in, get them in to get food and drinks. That's it. They

make their money, they make the majority of their money off of that. They're a restaurant with entertainment. Okay. I think the way they'll fill the room is by, you know, people who have, you know, podcasts or YouTube followings or whatever, they'll be able to fill the room by getting those people in there to do shows. Yeah, but they're not going to want to, they're not going to want to, they might do that during the week. Give me like, I'll give you Wednesday and we'll make a deal. But even now at the peak of comedy, the comedy clubs, even my, my shows that I would do would be like, all right, we want 70, 70%.

You get 70%. We get 30%. We get the bar and the, no comedy clubs giving you booze. Unless you're selling them the fuck out for six shows. Right. No, I mean, getting a piece of the bar, that's, that's ambitious, but you know, if Dave should be able to ask for the piece of the bar, they'd give him a piece of the bar.

He just doesn't need it, he isn't care. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, of course, they'd give Dave should be able to their first born if you fucking walk in, they'd fucking give him a good job in the back. I'm not saying it's gonna stay like that. I'm just saying at the outset, at the beginning, just to kickstart it, if I think if clubs are smart, that's what they would do to kickstart it.

I don't think they would, they go to a regular lineup. Here's our past guys, here's eight guys on the lineup. I think you go with the people who you feel like can fill the room with fan bases. And comedy may change after this. I know, you know, because a lot of companies are going to change. A lot of companies are saying, oh, a lot of people

can do their jobs from home. They can use Zoom. You know, everything's digital. There's going to be less business travel, more Zoom, more conference calls, less travel. I mean, we just don't know what the world's gonna look like on the other side of this. I think it's worse.

What I'm saying, Verzi, is like, the Spanish flu killed so many people, and then right after that World War I killed so many people that it was in a horrible way that the silver lining that it's horrible to say was that it was a boom for the economy because there was so many jobs for such a small population. And now, that's not the case. A very small amount of people are going to die, but a lot of jobs are going to be rendered useless

and there's going to be a reshuffle here that's going to really cause a disruption to the economy. And we're going to fall into a deep a deep deep deep fucking recession borderline depression. That's great on that note. I want to do a read My god, dude, my culture was watching another show the whole time While you were talking I just sign up for all things comedy all things comedy. I check it out, man. Listen, and I've been, this is a company that I'm very excited about, and I've been a part of this whole cause for over 15 years.

I got one of these when I was called gay for having one, literally, made fun of for having one of these. Twelve of paper is as short as a shortage. You can't get it, all right? You know who doesn't need it? Me, all right? I'm using a bidet baby. Break up your toilet paper,

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Buddy, I'm telling you right now I've been using I've been using a bidet for over 16 years. I got a bidet back in my house when I was on 47th Street between 9th and 10th. And I mean, I clean my butt. I have the cleanest asshole in the world. I swear to God. No, you don't. No, you don't. Yeah, I absolutely. I know. I mean, I'll, I'll, I clean my butt. I have the cleanest ass hole in the world. I swear to God. No, you don't. No, you don't. Yeah, absolutely. I don't even, I'll give you say that. So matter of fact, you see my asshole.

But you have a secret cam in my ass. No, you just, you just said you have the cleanest ass hole in the world. That's so arrogant and just fucking crazy. You don't know. Why is that arrogant, Verzy? You just said I have the cleanest ass hole in the world. Yeah, that's, that's it. I mean, I don't even have I have the cleanest asshole in the world. Yeah, that's, that's it.

I mean, you don't even have, I mean, there's no world. Yeah, I mean, though, you're like assuming there's no women in the world. Every single woman has a cleaner asshole than every single guy. Okay, I'll say this. I have one of the cleanest assholes

out of all the men I know in the world. You're talking about these cleanest assholes in your household. I agree with you, Bobby, because your skin is like a dolphin skin. So it's easy to clean. It's rubbery. I don't get testosterone fucking chin like you, Janice. I mean, you look like fucking Joe Rogan's fucking chin.

I'm just, I'm just, you know, I'm not that overweight. You're a gorgeous young Greek boy is what you are. I'm just, I'm just, you know, I'm not that overweight. You're, you're, you're a gorgeous young Greek boy is what you are. I'm stunning. Well, you're not stunning. No, I'm, yeah, I'm kind of, I'm, I'm almost good looking. We know the deal. Now you're a good looking guy. You are almost like if you squint your eyes, it's kind of like John Stamos. Pretty good. Yeah. Quint. Yeah. If you catch me at the right angle at the right time,

I'm okay. Otherwise, it's, at the right time, I'm okay. Otherwise, it's, yeah, I'm good and ugly on the, you could be in the sitting at the same table with me and see four different people. There's no way you can tell me very easy to use that. Keith Hernandez just from in beard coloring. Where is he? Looks like the guy on the box. It's so pretty.

I want to just tell you that I know my asshole is cleaner than you. Rosie looks like the guy on the box. It's so worth it. I want to just tell you that I know my assholes cleaner than yours. That's what it's about though. Let's just get that out of the way. I said my asshole. That's just say your assholes clean too. Why can't we both have clean assholes? Here's what I do.

Okay, here's what you do. Here's what I do. I wipe normal. Cool. With normal paper. Spread peanut butter. No, no, what you do. Here's what I do. I wipe normal. Go? With normal paper. Spread peanut butter. No, no, no, that's normal paper. Then what I do, did you freeze?

No, I'm just looking at you. Unless it's take a shower, it's not as clean as me. No, you're wrong. Here's what I do. I wipe normal, like, you know, and then, then when that's done and clean and everything is good, then I go to the baby wipes wipes and with the fucking baby wipes, you get in there and then you are clean as a whistle.

So I go regular wipes, then multiple baby wipes, and then sometimes just to dry it off, just to finish it off, I'll take another dry one to clean it off. It's over. Baba, I clean my asshole with a beam of water. I learned how to open my asshole like a dolphin hole, okay? I, you ever see the way they mine the fucking, the rock and they just shoot water on the side

and it just crumbles down? I get in my asshole and I clean my asshole inside. Probably three inches I can get in there with the beam and it cleans it all out. There's no shit in my intestines. I know you're fucking pulling out. I mean now you're fucking colon. I was fucking asshole. Oh no. Bobby, Bobby's not in the heat of the truth. He's not too filling out of his mouth. Bobby, Bobby's on, he's telling the truth. He knocked two fillings out of his mouth. What are you saying?

I'm holding a water from the eye. I do, when I'm, look at, I do this back and forth with the beam. Or I get the right, I get, I go an inch beyond my seam of my sack and then I go an inch back and then I go back and forth. I clean everything, dude. You could take a fucking paper plate, put it on my ass

all, nothing comes off. Can I tell you what else first, and you gotta think about it, I know they say they're disposable, but my buddy owns a plumber, he owns a shop, and they build up in your pipes. Oh no, I don't, I don't, no, no, no, no, I don't flush him. What do you do with him? Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh in a bag, in a plastic bag. Wow. Next to the garbage. You keep, you keep ship baby webs in the house?

No, I didn't say that. I said, I wipe and then we have a plastic bag and we throw it out. So the ship baby wipe goes in the plastic bag. Goes in a plastic bag and thrown out. Oh my, and then goes, Everything up high? But here's the thing, yeah, but there's nothing.

Yes, yes, every time. And then, but there's their clean. They're clean. It's just, it's just like a one over to make sure. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's no way, it's clean. Let me tell you something, Verzy, I want you to do this tonight.

Get peanut butter, chunky, wipe it on your arm. Get peanut butter, wipe it on your arm, right? And then get toilet paper, just wipe it off. And then get a baby wipe, and then wipe again, and look on the baby wipe, this boopie on it. and then wipe again and look on the baby wipe this boop on it And that's what you got on your baby wipe. Why do you wipe or shit the consistency of peanut butter? Yeah, I don't think everybody shit's chunky skippy Then get whatever your shit is I don't't know what he have in the house.

What are you, yogurt? Are you a fucking Snickers bar? Whatever you get. I, listen, I'll tell you this, I'll tell you this too, Verzy, I'm telling you, this is why I love Verzy. Well, I'm taking him camping and I'm trying to explain to him, listen, we got a shit outside, and he's like, he didn't even compute this, like what?

And then I go, if you have to shit, you have to dig a hole, he's like, what the fuck? I have this thing, and you, I had a, you know, and you dig, and then you shit, and then you cover the shit, and he's like, I don't understand. Yeah, I would feel the same way. That's like, why are we going back in time?

Why is that? How is this a good time? How is that a good time? What are the worst, I can be one of the worst nights of my life. I can't really say. I don't know, this is actually not a joke. I'm not even joking around.

Let me finish before you fit. Because this is how great Verzi is. We're driving up an hour and a half into this ride. He looks, he goes, I got it. I go, what? He goes, we're going to go right now. We're going to McDonald's right here. The next stop, we're getting fucking mechmic muffins.

We're going to fill up. We're going to eat two of them. Then we're going to Dunkin' Donuts. We're getting two large ice coffees. We're going to down them. By the time we're done, we're going to have to shit. We're going to shit at Dunkin' Donuts. We're going to fucking, we're gonna down them. By the time we're done, we're gonna have to shit. We're gonna shit at Dunkin' Donuts. We're gonna fucking, we're gonna shit. Everything's gonna get pushed out. We won't have to shit till tomorrow when we get back to the house. And it worked.

We went, we got sandwiches, we do ice coffees. We both fucking shit everything out, right? And then we didn't have to shit for the next day. He invented a new process for camping. Yeah. My father looks like big pussy from the sopranos. Like he looked at you, and he was like, in and out of my life when I was a kid, and one time he was in, I was in Boy Scouts when we were going to camp.

And I was like, Dad, were you coming to the camping trip? And he was like, I don't fuck you on a camera. I go, please, you never come. And he's like, all right. So he's like, I'm taking Fat Jean with me. I go, please, you never come and he's like, all right. So he's like, I'm taking Fat Jean with me. So my dad and Fat Jean came to the boys, got Cam and Trip. And then in the middle of the night, they were gone. And I came out of my tent, I looked around,

they were just gone, I don't know where they went. And it turned out Fat Jean had to take your ship so they went home shit and then came back, they make me laugh. I mean, it was, it was the coldest mess you know. shit and then came back to me. I mean it was it was it was the coldest mess. We're going up the mountain. We're an hour and a half up a mountain. Right. I mean an hour and a half up the mountain and for it I would walk and I go you got your blanket versus goes what?

Yeah I left it in the car because the band so walking the dog fucked everything up he left his blanket in the cold he's like I'm he's like I'm good right I'm good I'm I'm like yeah and we get up we get up this mountain it drops like 15 degrees it's with the sun goes, if fucking drops to like 62 degrees. It was freezing, Deanna, you know me. Yeah, okay, I can't handle this shit. And Bobby's up there and he's fucking, you know, knives around, he's got no shoes on,

he's up to his ankles in a creek, excited. You know, he's exacinous, beautiful. Then he takes both of his hands down and he takes water from the creek with both of his hands and he splashes it over his head and he starts doing this shit. And he's just, when his head is beautiful, this is nature.

I was counting the hours. I couldn't get the fuck out of there quick. He's don't where I'm gonna cook us something good. He's boiling some fucking plastic bag with beef in it. It was good. It was fucking good. Don't, my food. Let me tell you something. It was good. It was fucking dope. My food, let me tell you something. It was good.

I just said it was good. I'm like Bobby Flay on a fucking mountain. Yeah, no, it was. We had sausage, we had Italian sausage. Yeah. You cooked fucking to perfection, by the way. And you, and you were, you turned into a little mountain man. You're out there getting fucking wood.

And you came back with all the wood for the fire. I broke your saw You broke it twice. You broke my Yeah, I broke your saw twice, but then I have no no blanket. It gets freezing It's a I'm in a paper thin tent. I had to put basketball shorts over my head to I was I was shivering through the night And I heard Bobby snore and, sleeping like snow fucking white in a, he's, this kid is sleeping. He's snoring, he's sleeping his, you know, whatever the hammock is waving back and forth.

And I was miserable, fucking miserable. And then he woke up like happy making coffee. How bad did you want to get out of there in the morning? Oh, I mean, I was literally, I just couldn't wait to walk in. It actually made me like, it made me 5% like Bobby Lester like. Like, I love Bobby, but there's a scar. There's a scar in my soul because of that night.

But first of all, he shows up, I go, we're going hiking. He shows up with night camouflage, night keys. He goes, if he's good, I'm, we're going to hit hiking. He shows up with night camouflage, night keys. He goes, he goes, are these good? I'm like, no. They're fucking Jordans. What are you doing? Listen, I'm just not an outdoor, listen, at the end of the day, there are certain kids that are outdoor kids, and there are certain kids that belong in a bucket. That thing made you a better person. Being able to know that you stayed outside on that, you started a fire, you cooked, we smoked stokes. You stayed doing her coyotes.

I mean, there was shit walking around the tent. Yeah, there was shit walking around the tent. Yeah, here's what it may be. It made me a type of person. Wait a second, wait a second. I mean, we're strange to not attack you. What? Wait a second, you guys smoked stokes?

Yeah. You guys are real fucking outdoorsmen. Yeah, but you know me though, Yannis, it was 11 and Bobby's going, oh, you want to call it a night? And I'm just going to stay out here. I just want Bobby made that list because we stayed outside, we slept under dirt.

We cooked our own feet, we hunted the owner, and we smoked a few sticks. I mean, we're out, you know, it's like, yeah, that was the one thing that didn't belong. You can do that. Yeah, but stokes, you can't go hiking without a fucking bat, dude. No, you got it. You got to have a puff. Buddy, we will buy it.

We will buy it. You guys want to get a fucking puff tonight? I love a puff, but I can't. I'll do a puff with you. I don't know about fucking verisies. You got the crown. I don't know about the crown. We don't know about fucking veris. He's got the crown. I don't know about the crown. We don't know about the Prince

over here with the crown. Yeah. Mike, you got a picture of a Prince with a crown. Doesn't belong to Woods. Mike, you got questions? Yeah, there's a question from the chat.

People want to know how Gabby's dad is doing after he got the corona. Oh, he's good. He said he said that. Huh? If he wakes, he never had to go to the hospital. He's sober for the first time in his life and loving that.

Is he sober? You're the better. Your dad's home. He hasn't drank fun. No, and no drinking. Wow. And she was, he's the first one for you. He was probably 10.

What? Is he Corona free? Not yet. They just got retested. I smoked pot with you dad once. You did? Yeah, and I never, I don't really smoke pot. But after a show, we went back to the hotel.

And he was like, come out to my room. Some of you, my buddy went out to the room and they bust out of joint. And I was like, how do I not smoke pot with the guy from on Jovi? I got to do this side. I did. And I was like, one of I not smoke pot with a guy from on Jovi? I got to do this. I did. And that was like one of the first time to smoke pot. That's awesome. Yeah, your her father can fucking drink, man. I've never I've never seen somebody be able to put down fucking alcohol.

And he puts it down. He's the same dude from here to here. He's so nice. Like he goes to like he's been to a couple comedy shows and I was at he went to the creeps with kids. And then he went to the and then he also saw me one time at the fat black and he's always been like such a great comedy fan, man. When I brought him the creeps with kids, I was taking pictures and I was like, just stay here, stay at the comedy table, don't move. I'll be right back. And I took, I want to say seven pictures. I came back, He had six empty vodka sodas in front of him.

He was fucking hammered. He was repeating Yamannika's jokes full volume back at her. Yamannika wasn't on the show. It wasn't crazy against it. It was different. All right. I'm going to scream in Yamannika. Jokes are as vast. Speaking of the truth, Gabby, how wild is that that you were around Jovi when you were young? It's fucking nuts. It was normal for us. Yeah, it's crazy though, you know, like and you went to the concerts like in the fucking heyday now like what? Hold on, you like

Yeah, so you went like you saw them like still like when they did like with a dead did giant stadium? They still they still do it. Yeah, they still fucking could do stadiums. I was at giant stadium 89 the first time they played it Wow That's crazy. That is crazy because you weren't even thought yet You're probably the worst nightmare your father could have at that point. Could you imagine the end twins? Oh, yeah, that's right. But here's the thing, the whole band had kids at the same time.

So we were all fucking monsters. There was like 10 of us. Wow. Wow. Imagine that. Imagine growing up in a fucking killer band. Just growing up. One of the biggest bands in the country. In the world.

Yeah, in the world. Yeah. The world. I mean, I saw Bon Jovi at like a fair, like one of those fucking, you know, general admission, just walk up and as close as you can get, you can get. I saw him at the Orphium,

which is I think 25, 3000 seats, and I saw them at a big arena. And then I took Max, Max. That was the greatest fucking night ever when I took Max. I mean, he was on my show, they're singing all the songs. And then- And they're singing Montreal, right, Gabby?

What? I was at a, I was in Montreal and I ended up getting tickets to a hockey game, the make-beliefs. And I think there was like a Bonnachoby banner of the Garthick, big in Montreal and I ended up getting tickets to a hockey game, the make-beliefs. And I think there was like a Bon Jovi banner. Like, aren't they big in Montreal? Or didn't they always play that arena? I think so.

I don't know. I love that I know more about that banner than you do. Oh, hands down. Yeah. I did Lenny Marcus' podcast and he did like a multiple choice questions about Bon Jovi. I got two right out of 30. Wow. I was like, you're from New Jersey and um, um, it's okay. That's the gays thing about me. I can tell you whatever you want

to know about your dad and the band. What do you know? What happened to Jay Davis? What? You also wanted to know what happened to Jay Davis. He's back to handing out fucking flyers. No, he's not. I mean, he was actually, Jay Davis was the head, the head booker at the laugh factory in Los Angeles and he booked all the laugh factories. I don't know if he still does, but he was the, the motherfucker at the laugh factory for a couple years. That's just the last recently, you know?

Yeah. And then do you guys have any new hobbies you're doing now that you're in quarantine? factory for a couple of years. That's just the last recently, you know. And then do you guys have any new hobbies you're doing now that you're in quarantine? Yeah, drinking drinking, drinking brews during the day. Are you drinking during the day? Yeah, I'm having a couple beers and having a couple of cold ones on occasion. Yeah. Are you nervous? Yana said all. No, not at all. I was born in this darkness.

I'm very confident. So you don't get, I mean, you're financially you're all set. So you don't give a fuck, right? Yeah, I saved a lot of money. You know, I saved, I saved. And, you know, I definitely took the hit when I bought, when I bought this house, but I, you know, I got the three month moratorium

on mortgage. I recommend everybody do that. Where'd you get that? You call your bank and you just tell them and they just, they know penalty, they let you off the hook. All the banks are doing it. So it's real simple. You just call whatever you bank you're with

and tell them that you don't even have to tell me. Usually you could do it on the website or, you know, and they just, no questions asked. They give you three months off on your rent, no penalty or I'm sorry on your mortgage and it doesn't fuck with your credit at all. They add it to the end of your mortgage, so you're still taking the age of the pay now. Right, you just push it back another three months, so you know I'm just I'm not thinking too far ahead and yeah I mean you know my career has always been online, so you know I'm just, I'm not thinking too far ahead. And yeah, I mean, you know, my career's always been online. So, you know, I'm kind of, I'm still here.

Would you be as comfortable if you were selling Ryan Kast? I feel like Bane, you know, when this happened, I feel horrible for comedians who are out of work and stuff like that. But for me, it's like, it's always been this, there's always been the approach anyway. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I feel like Bane, you know, when this happened, I feel horrible for comedians who are out of work and stuff like that.

But for me, it's like, it's always been this, there's always been the approach anyway, is digital. Right. Well, I'm glad that I had my Patreon set up and had a head start on this shit, you know, and with all the life and the sheds, I had a couple of those in the can. And it is, you know, because there are people who are trying to get this shit going right now, and it all the live from the Sheds, I had a couple of those in the can. And it is, you know,

because there are people who are trying to get the shit going right now and it's like, fuck. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's the error where you, I think you just really got to try to be an entrepreneur and you got to try to, you know, figure out ways to make money outside of, you know, getting live work right now. Did anybody, did anybody see the comics?

First of all, I want to bring this up too. Mike, bring up that website. This is great. Mike but Bigley have put this together with a couple of his other famous friends. And this is for clubs that for the wait staffs. And I want to promote this. We got basically, scroll up Mike faster.

Faster, no, I'm kidding. But all these clubs, funny bone, UCB, Zainey's, the comedy seller, stand up. So yeah, stop right there. So basically right here, these guys, Mike, but Billy, every day is going to jump on Instagram live, him and his friends, John Malaney, Gary Gumball, and Nikki Glazer all these people and they're working out new jokes but they're also raising money for a comedy club wait steps. Scroll down. Go to the comedy seller one. I think this is great that he did this and I'm very happy. They raised $67,000 for the comedy seller wait staff. for the comedy seller wait staff. And this is great because without the bartenders,

the waiters and the employees at the comedy seller, I mean, what are we gonna do? What are they gonna do? They're fucked, they're fucked. They live in New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the planet. And they have no income. And this is actually

comedians are fuck too. So I'm glad they're doing it for comedians as well. It's like yeah, comedians waste staff everyone's fuck. Tell me about it, you know, but it's funny because it's like newer comedians. It's like, okay, if you make 12,000 or under you can get some money. But what 12,000 or under you can get some money. But what this comedian there's a lot of comedians that make 100,000 I said this before and it's almost like you can't get you can't get unemployment you can't get a you can see you just fucked The middle class always gets fucked. It's a little yeah, you know what though two though man like at the end of the day You just have to adapt anyway It's like you got to just adapt to it You're gonna figure something out if somebody's got to go out there and and work or do something or figure something out online

Then you just do that too man, especially like if you got kids or whatever like I was talking to bread Ernst on my podcast and he's like look if I got to go and do something to do get money You know, it's like you're just gonna end up figuring it out. Plus, if you're a comic and you're only making 12 grand or less, you were probably doing something anyway to supplement income more. You know, so you could, you're not in mean like, you were probably, if you're just making 12 grand,

you really can't live on that in New York City. Yeah, well, they're actually giving the comedy clubs all over the country. So it would be one thing if they were helping just one, but they're actually giving the comedy clubs all over the country. So it would be one thing if they were helping just one, but they're helping them. It's amazing what they're doing. And that comedy, anything made like 350,000 for those comedians.

It's really amazing that those comedians did that. One thing about the comedy community, we might be fucked up, we might be, we might be mental illness, we may have all the shit that we have, OCD, and this and that, but I gotta tell you something, man, the comedy community, when somebody gets sick or when somebody passes away,

or when shit like this happens, the comedy community is some of the most beautiful people that you could ever, like they just band together, man, because we're all the same,. That's really fucking dope. Except when you have a network, you know? But the thing is, then you just backstab us. But listen, the thing is, no. Yeah.

Yannis, you know I'm kidding, Yannis. I know. You know what square? I love you and Chrissy D. I love both of you guys so much. You know, and I, anything I can do to help you guys succeed, I'm behind it. And you know, and I, anything I can do to help you guys succeed, I'm behind it. And you know, it's likewise too. So I mean, you could have helped me with helping my

network. And that would have succeeded. But in the middle of a pandemic, you took money out of my kid's mouth. It's all right. Do you think, buddy? I hope you guys succeed. And I'm glad you saved money because I didn't. But listen, here's a thing. That's why I want to thank my Patreon fans because without you, Motherfuckers, I love you. I love fucking Motherfuckers. How great would it be if at the end of this Bobby called Yon as an acid five grand? Five grand.

Five grand. Five grand. What are you, a fucking nuts? I want more than five five. I'd ask you for fucking 25 grand. What the fuck? I do want to thank all these people. I got a bunch of people that wanna thank.

Mike, it didn't come in again. I'm sorry, pal. You're not sending it to the right thing or whatever, but let me just check here. Yeah, here it is, buddy. I gotta do the Patreon people. You ready? These people are all new people that joined up.

Charlie R, Chad Fly, Kathy Gilles, oh shit, I know her. She's James Kono, Sean and PJ Hunt PJ Hunt actually PJ Hunt. I apologize. Bear with me made me this fucking knife right here made this knife for me. This is the bush graft party boy knife. I gotta get it cleaned up, but he made this knife. He's a beautiful knife maker, blacksmith. We got PJ Hunt, we got Tracy DeRouche, Sarah D Rob Adams, Richard Clark,

Samantha Maddox, Ty Fox, Matthew Tuttle, Darryl Lee, Chris X Crongram, Ernest, Mike Booth, Philip Malone, Michelle Totten, Mike Clark Clayson, Jennifer. Give it a stroke. Mike Cleason, Joseph Mazzella, Christopher, Chris McElson, Frank LePage, Mark Cooper, Randy Hanna, Julie, Guzman, Eric Libby, Leslie, Mike Sims, Diddy, Diddy, Delboy, Diddy, Diddy, Sign Up,

Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, Sign Up, Edward Optimus, Bradley Lau, Jack Potolatsky, Jeff, Jeff, Jim Landry. Jim Landry was the guy who killed Bobby. No. Jim, Jesus Christ, Jim Landry Bradley, where the fuck is Jim Landry? Jim Landry, where were we? Jim Landry, Jim Landry, Frank Lapage. Did I read him? Jim Land, there we go. Matthew is Andrew Delusche, Nathan Kelly, Cody, Shulotta, Michael Evlman, Renato, Renato. That's Brazilian Ryan Coons. That's racist. Ryan, Ryan Shepard, Brian Balma, Susie Goole, Steve Blake Cole., Cole. That's not a real name.

And then we'll read the rest next week. Those are all Patreon people. But yeah, dude, I gotta, I mean, let me tell you something right now. I have to thank my Patreon people. I mean, these fucking, they've stepped up, they've joined, they've become part of this. And I'm, and I'm, look, I'm doing a show every night. Me and Mike do a show every night. We do the YKWD, of course. And, and then I get the live from the shed. I got some unboxing. I'm going to do this company right here. And there's a couple of companies that set me stuff. So I'm doing a ton of extra shit.

So I really can't thank you guys during this. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, man. I'm panicking one day and then I'm happy. Today was a good day. We're in the backyard with the kid and the wife. Don't waste any time panicking.

That's what I say. I would think is don't waste any time panicking. Just adapt and move and go Don't think about it. Just just adapt. We're comedians. We're survivors We've created our own thing from the beginning. Just just go just figure it out and go just It's always been his and Chrissy's theme just go Pack it up and go and even think about it The price everything they do Yeah, pack it up and go and even think about it.

They're twice everything they do. I think twice about it. You've everything behind. I mean, if there's nothing to do, yeah, just take it. Just go with it. I mean, it's really, I mean, it's fucking crazy. You guys really just fucking. I love, do they call you going? You call me up to you guys are like really concerned, but as soon as it sounded like, uh, there was a pause. Yeah, there was a pause. There was a pause. And as soon as it sounded like

I didn't get what they were saying, Janus goes, Oh, no, we're not, we're definitely done where you were going. I didn't want to, I didn't want to, I didn't want to do any false hope. I didn't want to do any, I wanted to be going to help. He could he could offer us the world. We're fucking out God bless, though, Bobby. Love you so much, kid. I mean, love you so much, Bobby. But yeah, we're gone. Go fuck. Listen, I don't know. We've overcome. We've got to move on. We're going to send you some stuff to fill out to get on unemployment and wave your fucking mortgage for a couple of months. Listen, here's it there. Yeah, well, it was funny when Chris started it and he was like fumbling a little bit and

you went, just get it out, you start a rebrand. Oh, Chris was like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, really, really was fucking, da, da, da, Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob He really fucking at least y'all y'all is he got to give y'all his credit for just being a man about it though. Y'all this has done this before. He treated me like a fat chick he was fucking. Yeah, look, honey, Bobo, listen, I love you, but yeah, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm done. I'm out. Is it the man they write off?

Yeah, no, I just, yeah, I wanted to make sure you knew that, you know, it's just, of course, it's just, you know, I love you. It has nothing to do with you or anything. I love you personally. It's always tough when you mix business with friendship, it's just, I love you. It has nothing to do with you or anything. I love you personally. It's always tough when you mix business with friendship. It's always tough. Oh, no, it's not that tough, buddy. I hold no ill will to you.

Here he is right now telling me that, we're gonna wrap this sucker up. Maxi, come here, kid. Look at he's wearing. Look at you hang on my shirt. Let me shut this off in the back, damn buddy. Let me get Chrissy D. What's up buddy Mike got him this shirt. I've never seen a more excited in my life. He flipped out runner. He hasn't taken it off. I like it.

Give me kiss buddy. What the? Break him. Yeah! All right. I'll see you later. I'll be out in a little bit. Love you kid. I went out the glass to real to find me. So, and I thought to cheer you. And actually I had a good idea. But remember that light thing that goes on. It being a little wordy. Can I finish? I'll be right out. Listen guys, I'm yadis. Thanks for coming on and thanks for, you know, thanks for sitting up and paying attention. Appreciate it. He's not You're a fucking drama mean from us as camera shake though. I know it's fucking I feel like I'm having a fucking stroke in my right eye. Oh, sorry. Goodbye. Get out of here. All right. Thank you. I love you so much. Look guys.

Next time we get together, we smoke some bats, Verzy, Janus, after this pandemic, or at least when we find out Verzy doesn't have it anymore. Yeah, I got to make sure my fucking bags are clear. And then we'll go. Yeah, Verzy, what do you got, buddy?

I mean, besides Corona. I don't know, I'm gonna be a sweatpants for the next fucking 62 days. What do I got? No. Check me out. In Harold, Randall and Keith Hernandez are going to do their Beards Tomorrow Live. No, I'm watching new YouTube page this week so you can check that out. Also, get me on Instagram and Twitter and check out the VersaEffect which is now we're doing live zooms with the comics every Thursday so you can check

that out and all that stuff is on lunch. Buddy, one of my favorite people in the world thanks for coming on and I can't wait to see you again. Janice, I mean I guess you're going to plug another network. So go ahead. My podcast is called History, Hyetus, and Chris is definitely myself. Where would we find that? That sounds awesome. You can find that wherever you listen to podcasts. And please watch my special, which is on YouTube called Blowing the Light.

It's free. Check it out. Yeah, yeah, let's look. I love you, buddy. And stay safe up there and hope to see you soon with folks and bats. Gabby, what do you got besides purse lips? Okay.

Every Thursday at 8 p.m., I'm going live on the stands Instagram with different comics talking about quarantine. And Bobby's on this Thursday. And I've asked for the podcast available everywhere. You got to get better internet connection. You jived out on that.

What happened? It's chiving out. Okay. Well, follow me on Instagram. All right, Baba. Mike Calta, Mike Calta in the mornings every day, five days a week. He's going into work. He's pumping out on the bone, get the app on your iPhone or Android.

And you can listen to him. I listen to it all the time. When I'm up in the morning, I put on fucking the bone. I listen to Mike Calta. One of the funniest shows. Three people from Tiger King on this week. Three. Three. Hi. Three. He doesn't fuck around.

Uh, and of course me and Mike Calta, every night, seven o'clock, we're right here on my Patreon Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you're a fan of mine and, uh, my comedy, my podcast, this podcast, if you're watching it, go join patreon.com. You're getting, I mean, a show every night, the podcast before anybody else audio in video and you're getting life in the shed. Ari Sheffield's up right now. Anthony Cumi is coming at the end of the month.

Go join the Patreon right now. It's a fucking cup of coffee. So, what's up? No, I gotta go. Take care, man. Love you guys. Right in the middle of my fucking thing, really? No, no, no, no. You said, what's up? I was just gonna click off. Go ahead. I know, but I was right in the middle of a speech.

I was fucking thank you and all that, and I got them in the thing and the Patreon. It was beautiful. Okay. Well, you went sideways with the phone again, and then you interrupted Wow patreon.com Mike, what do you got besides an awful hairline like V-Spares on Instagram? Yeah, you can see me on call to in Kelly every night. I'm also on his grainas with yana. Whoa

You taking my producer! Are you taking the my producer? As part of the deal, we had to have Mikey's a big part of the team. I mean, he's essential. He's not the fuck as I swear. Mikey's a big part, you know, Mikey emoji face. Oh, right, our podcast. We call him a emoji face because his face looks like an emoji. He looks like a Funko pop.

You got a big thing. All right. I'm doing a weekly thing on my own too, at some point. So, what the fuck is that? I don't have a name for it yet, so. Oh. So you're the name for it, but all things name for it yet. Oh. She's checking her heart. All thing comedy bought it already.

I'm actually going to all things comedy too. YKWD is going to riot cast. I mean, I'm out. No, we'll see you guys later. Be safe and I'll talk to you soon. See you later, guys. ¡Ahh, sí, les guste! un segundo. ¿Puedo abrirlo ya? ¿Sí? ¿Tonde estamos? Estamos en mi pueblo. ¿Este es tu pueblo? Sí, pero si es un pueblo chito precioso y tú decías que era muy feo. Bueno, ahora es bonito. ¿Y cuando dejo de ser un pueblo feo? Cuando pensé que podía ser bonito. Sí, hombre,

¿qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito y ocurre? Este viernes uno de diciembre Euro millones sorteó un superbote especial de 200 millones de euros. Euro millones. No hay nada más grande. Lo querías de recuerda que jueres con responsabilidad y solo si eres mayor de especial de 200 millones de euros. Euro millones. No hay nada más grande. Lo te haría a te recuerda que jueres con responsabilidad y solo si eres mayor de da.