Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Cipha Sounds | Uptown Boys

Episode Date: May 14, 2023

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Hello, everybody. What's up? It was like a dramatic opening. I just put my head up like this. Hey, it's Robert Kelly. You know what, dude, we're back here at the comedy seller podcast network studios above the world famous comedy seller. I've been here for a long time doing this show and you guys have been here with me.

If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe. We're going to know a lot of new followers on YouTube. Hit the subscribe button and hit the like button and leave some comments. You son of a bitch. You want somebody on here? Let us know in the comments. We read them and make sure you go to patreon.com.sashrobercally. You want to get the show, watch it live, be in the chat with everybody right now, talking

shit, sending in questions. You can do that by joining patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. And also you can get the YKWD extra, call during Kelly before anybody else. And that's how you do it. Become a member of supporter of my Patreon. And for all you guys who are supporting right now, live in the chat, welcome, good to see you, fuck faces, the lady bugs are here. I almost died tonight. I almost got murdered. I 100% almost had my life taken for me today. We're going to be talking about it. I'm going to be talking with OG New Yorker who is part of this city

in part of the problem. So please give it up for Siphon. Hi buddy. I don't want to intro. I know dude. I'm what an intro. I mean, I'm telling you, I was on the subway today. Well, let's take number one. Why? Fuck the subway, it's disgusting. We're back in the 80s. So I should, look at, I can afford a car. Yes.

I shouldn't take cars. I mean, I shouldn't take the subway anymore. Wait, you drive here to the, I mean, I drive and I park my car and then I subway up and down. Where do you park your car? I park, well, if I'm doing the bonfire, Crackle Crackle, what's up son? What's up?

Big J, what's up kid? So if I'm going over there, I park it 50th and 8th and I walk over there and back and forth and then I'll come down here and go back up. Yeah. But if I'm here, if I want to appear at the end I park right around the corner and then I take the subway up and down. Yeah. Yes, I'm here, if I want to appear at the end, I park right on the corner. And then I take the subway up and down.

Yeah. Yes, of course that's what we should do, but there's an extra element of danger when you ride the subway, especially now, Dave. New York isn't safe. No, not no more. It's not safe. It was. It was.

It was Bloomberg was the fucking mayor. Well, yeah. Giuliani did it. Giuliani did it. Giuliani did it. Listen, people hate Giuliani. And I get why? Why? Because his hair, his eye is hair and it melted his ribs.

And he made all the guys who tried to hear the like, he's all this. Why? Because he went up in a room with a fucking idiot girl and got exposed for being a fluffy pervert. All the reasons. Maybe so, man. But he's like,

he cleaned up New York. He cleaned it up. He cleaned up New York and he was here as the mayor for September 11th. Well, that part doesn't. My. Yeah, but you need somebody like him. Yes, I agree.

You know, I wouldn't walk down there. Of course you wouldn't. I wouldn't walk down. You live way up there. Yeah, I wouldn't walk down there. Well, he cleaned it up. Yeah. And then the city and then in the before the pandemic, the city was thriving.

Right. I think gentrification fucked it up as far as the flavor. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Well, it's it. Gentrification fucked up the flavor a little bit. Yeah, but I like that. No, no, no, you like the safety.

I like gays. Love g safety. I like gays. Love gays. I love gays. But I say we unleash gays all over the world. And throw gays in Buffalo. Make Buffalo fun. You absolutely throw gays in Cleveland. You remember when

throw gays in Chicago will clean it up. Every fast food joint you see. I'm not gonna say something else. No. Okay, we're settled down with it. Every fast food joint you see. I'm not gonna say something else. No. Okay, let's settle that with it. Every fast food joint you see on Forteestreet used to be a local diner, mom and pop. Yeah, go Bob. Gabbages.

Gays moved in. Fucking fancy. Nice little. I'm, I'm telling you that I'm being devil's advocate. I'm telling you the other people's argument. I'm all for it. For what? For the how it is now Don't get your fictitious head

The white for what the white the white's are there The white. No the white look the gay whites. I love for this. Here's what happens. I think in New York the gays come in Yep, hey fucking fix everything. Yep. They make everything fun. They go to fucked up neighborhoods They're not scared. No, they're not scared Because they're fucking did they they're Persecuted to exactly right they go up there and they fucking go and a fuck them and make it nice and then what happened? Rich Why people yes move in and take it over the gaze become rich too gaze become rich because because why no dinks

I know it's I. You know dinks. I do, stop saying that. We talking about gays. Dinks. What's a dink? I have a dink. I like dink. No, a dink is a dual income.

No children. All right. Okay, there you go. The income notes are so imagine two guys. Imagine you and your buddy hanging out, living together, getting a apartment. Yeah, no kids, no kids. No plus kids. We got kids. No, we don't. We're not in this fantasy. You know, we get in the apartment. Yeah. No kids.

No fucking kids. We got kids. No, we don't. We're not in the fantasy. Me and you get together. Get together. No, awesome. It would be if me and you were fucking dinks.

It would be crazy. Dude, we'd be dinkin'. Because you made good money. I made good money. I made good money. You made good money. If we don't have to spend it on wife shit, kid shit, kid shit, fucking.

Ah. Just a nice apartment like this like why would we be nice? So we'd have we'd have fucking a duplex. Yeah, we'd have some fun shit and we'd have an outdoor space for my cigar shit. Yep. And maybe you could do some DJing shit parties. And no, there's no like,

we gotta change this, we gotta. No, no, minimalistic dude. We keep it, we have big TVs. We have a play, we have a car, and I'm a little bit of a hoarder. Yeah, where I live. No. I put that in an office. We get a dink office.

Yeah, we got a dink office. We get a dink office. A dink office? We get a dink office. And I used to have, before I'd have been there, we got to have an office in Jersey. Yeah, I lived in a city. Yeah.

I had an office in Nuttley, New Jersey. I said that's far. Paradise, bro. Nice. When everyone's coming into the city, I lived in a city. Yeah. I had an office in Nuttley, New Jersey. I said that's far. Paradise, bro. Nice. When everyone's coming into the city, I'm going out. Out. Got my own office parking lot.

Nice. The bagel shop down the corner, tying a restaurant the other way. It was heaven. That's what we do. Fucking cold. Dude, let's dump the wives, tell the kids to beat it, give them away.

I mean, you get in the apartment, we fight each other off. No, no, no, no, that's see that that that part Oh, I thought we were things no, you don't have to be gay to be dinged. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out I'm not in you stink you ruined the whole thing for me Am I the only guess yes, it's just me and you Am I the only guess? Yes, it's just me and you, brother. What happened? How come you used to have?

We don't do that. I didn't listen, man. Oh, God. I'm gonna tell you that each other, sure. I'm 50 too. Yeah. I can't do it anymore. I can't, I don't have the ability.

And these young bucks were coming in here and they were fucking, they just, you know, I like, I'm happy. I like, there's a little bit easy. I like having fun doing this shit and I get to a little spit a little more time that show you know what happens more people You add the longer the fucking show cuz everything so now it's like I'm here till three in the morning. Yeah, I gotta get out of here Yeah, I got it. I'm not a dink. Yeah, I gotta go home. We got where we're we're one income Angel dream. One income. Oh I One income, O-I-A-C, O-I-A-C.

What's that? I-O-K's, where I-I-O-K's. I-O-K's. Whoa, these smokies. That good. I wanna be a dank. You only got one kid, right? I got one kid. What are you gonna say like that for?

No, I was like, I know you do, but what are you, but it might work. I just get in a bad way. You say, you only got one, right? Like, you're, you're only got one extra mouth to feet. What is the right at the end of that? Does that make me less of a man? No, because I didn't jizzin' of a jiner and leave it in like you.

It's a, I'm talking about, I'm the homestie from my wife tonight. This should be some fucking retarded baby. I'll have a hair lip baby to prove you wrong. No, I'll have a baby come on, go, sniff, I dad. Well, wife was like, should we do a third? I'm like, what if it comes out or not?

I don't want to, like, we got two good ones. Yeah. Why are we risking it? Yeah, dude. Why are we got two good ones? Let's just leave it at that. I don't want it in a girl. Not even the R word, because I don't say that, could you do? I didn't say that.

I know, we'll beep that out. Beep that out, you son of a bitch. These cocksuckers trying to cancel me every week, Matt. Yeah, he really is. He'll leave the mic's hot at the end. They go, what do you think of black people? I think they're, you know, he really is. He'll leave the mic's hot at the end. They go, what do you think of black people? I think they're, you know, they're some things. Leigh Monk, a gaze. All right, yeah, trans weird. I know they are right. And they'll fucking leave it on the bottom of

it. But it's not the end of every episode. Fucking fucking think. Listen, here's a thing. It's not even that. It's that you, I don't want to get the kid with the birth defect. Yeah. I don't want the Gorbachev thing on the kid's head. Yeah. Because I rolled the dice with a chick whose pre-menopause and her pussy's dying. But did you feel like you took the risk with the one? No, we were right at the edge.

Right. Right, we were at the edge. She was 38, I was 40. Right. She was 40. 40 something. So we started doing it, she had a couple couple she had a miscarriage that sucked yeah That was the worst because we were like hey, I'm an idiot. I didn't read the rules on pregnancy

I'm having a baby so I'd like Billy burrows a Congratulations Yeah, so you did it man go for you kid and then I you know three days later. It's in the toilet Sometimes they go on the toilet Wow Sometimes you're gonna to flush them down. That's all right. It makes the vagina better, kid. You know, but we had Marx and I was so happy that it was like, we got one. Got it. And my wife was like, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Yeah. No more. I'm too old.

We ain't rolling the dice. Yeah, it's a dice roll. Yeah, I don't want to do a fun razor because I have to. Yeah. Hey, can you guys, can you guys help the, uh, the spine of Biffia? Smith or the, uh, what the fucking tooth coming out of my cheek foundation that I created for my dumb kid? You got two great ones. You got two boy girl, boy girl. Nice. I said, I'm done. Which one do you like better? Oh, this is, you can.

Yeah, you can. No. Yeah, 100%. I've talked to people that were, I've talked to everybody who had two kids and everybody goes, it switches, but I definitely like one thing. So who do I like better today?

That's what I'm asking. Today, right now, my son. Why? He's, my daughter's eight. Yeah, my son just turned five. Right. So he's cuter. Adoreal. Shooter. Yeah. He's doing all the fun shit. You know, the cute shit. He's like, sure. So innocent. Yeah. My daughter's got an attitude. Yeah. But she's my first. Yeah, but she's your first,

but the other one's cool. That's what happens. Daddy. Yeah. Right? Daddy. What does he call you? Yeah, daddy. Because you daddy. Yeah, or that T. That T. Why that T? I what does he call you? Yeah, daddy. Because you daddy? Yeah, or that T. That T, why that T? I don't know, he just makes it up. Also, he's like creative, like he makes shit up. Like what?

Like he's like, he's a jokester. He does little pranks. I like that. Because he's a boy. Yeah, my son does that too. Yeah, just fucking a while ago. My daughter's too like nasty. What are you talking about?

Oh, attitude. You don't like your daughter. No, I love my daughter. I know, but you don't like her as much as the son. You said today, she's not gonna see this. Today, but he knows it. Max, she's not gonna send this to her. I come home.

I come home. This is the clip, by the way. Why daughter hates this kid? My daughter loves. I hate women. My daughter's always wanting to run a house going. Yo. YWK, what's your shit? You know what, dude? You fucking asshole. Why KWD? Oh, this was positive about all of

you comedians. You've been on my show. I'm the longest running podcast on the East Coast. I started it all. No. And you guys still come on and go, what KW what? The name of your show, the letters don't flow. What? They don't flow. Why KWD? No, that doesn't flow. Flow, man, what are you talking about? No, because I've been flowing for years because it's, it's when you think of why, yeah, the, you think of, um, yeah, the word why. No, you don't. Yeah, you, when you say why, like you start your podcast off, you say why, you say this this why? Don't touch my why. Oh, now it's uneven.

I have OCD. No, I just made it even. I'm fucked. Go ahead. So you think another word why? Yes. And then you say K, but it's no. It's an end sound, but it's a K.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So it's already, you're already fucking why? Why don't you fucking think of a better name? You know what I'm saying? Stop trying to make it hip hop and just leave it as rock and roll. You know what the, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, That is the way you got to describe it.

Yeah, you know what, dude, you're trying to go, you're trying to do this shit. Why? To the KWB. Whoa, shit. He fucked it up. You're 100% right now. I want to say something to you. And I mean this.

Okay. Listen, I'm joking. It's a comedy podcast. It's not a TED talk chillout. Right. Buddy, you really helped me out. Okay. And people don't know this.

I know this. This is going. People don't know this. Good. You really helped me out. When I, last year I got this surgery and I started losing weight and what happens when you lose weight, you got to throw out your clothes. And when you lose as much weight as I did, you got to throw it a lot of fucking close. Right? You said to me, yo man, I got hoodies. Let me tell you something. Whenipher sound has hoodie day or bag day or sweat pants day

I drove in from Westchester This motherfucker is giving away $300 hoodies, bro, and I'm what but here's the thing I gave hoodies you gave me a Lot of hoodies pants. Yep. You gave me sweat pants. You gave me hoodies. You gave me these t-shirts You were my you helped me transition. Yeah, but you gave me sweat pants, you gave me hoodies, you gave me these t-shirts. You were my, you helped me transition. But you helped me look good. I had to go on all these podcasts, I had to go on all these shows, right? Wait, because of the weight? No, because I had the special command. But I lost all this weight. And I was in that area, I was like, I was

thin, I was thinner, but I wasn't, you know what I mean? Of course. I could just roll in a t-shirt right now, right? Yeah. I had to wear something. And you gave me the pull-over hoodies that were a fucking magical. Fire, yeah. I mean, fire.

Fire, you gave me fire. You gave me fire. I gave you a couple that I didn't want to give up. Really? Yes. So I'll tell you which one you didn't want to give up. Which one? The ice cream one. you which one you didn't want to give up. Which one? The ice cream one.

The red one? The red one. It's a, you know what that is? That's not red. That's like like like lava red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's some other weird red. Like infrared.

It's infrared. Yeah, it's something. Yeah. It's not red. It's like this other red that makes you stand out more than other people were red. For sure. It's one of my favorite hoodies. Because I saw you at Skankfest in Vegas.

Yeah. And I didn't know you had the surgery and you were looking fucking so slim. And I'm very jealous of. And Liz was like, because they know Liz, right? People know Liz. I already know Liz. Everybody knows Liz. Liz, the GM of the comedy. So I'll have four, two.

I have all these clothes either. I get clothes for free. I have clothes from video shoots, music, things, whatever. So instead of giving a good will, I bring them here and Liz distributes them to different comics. She does. For people that work in them. Also, I have a deal with monster energy.

So I get tons of monster energy gear. She goes to all the cooks. They're all monster energy out. This is the thing, you put the sweaties, the hoodies, and the clothes in a monster energy bag. So you get a badass bag. You get a bag? Oh, good.

Dude, it's like, fun day. So Liz calls me up. She's like, Tuesday. Tuesday, be down here. Safest having this hoodie day. Sweep hands. I'll try to put what I can away for you. She grabbed it off for you.

She grabbed it off. She grabbed it. And then there's a couple I didn't want to give away. But what's one's that one? That one, yeah. That one. And another one you wear the zip up. Oh, did you get me too?

The what what 10 deep was it 10 deep dude? Here's it. The blue and green you gave me two zip ups and it, what, 10 deep, was it 10 deep? Dude, here's the, the blue and green. You give me two zip ups and it's called, what is it called when it fades down? It's called, what is it called when it fades down, Joe? At tie dye. No, it's, ah, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, You gave me a gray ombre light to dark gray and then the green to blue or some shit ombre Those are brand new dude those are the I never wore them dude. I've wore the I wore the fuck out of those

But the thing is I have so much respect for you and and the game I was like just give him the fucking give him give him good shit Give him good shit you gave me good shit. Oh, I for the next month every clip you had was me Dude I had that was I was in everything you gave your stage at the fucking whatever Portland Improvill whatever with the red hoodie Every podcast all the shit all my Instagram perfect I wish it was my brand. I would have been killing it. I fucking love it, dude.

You gave you hook me up so I actually got to look, you know, some of the stuff I was a little worried because I'm 50. Yeah. And it was like one of them is drugs. Cookies. Dude, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. 38 years.

And I'm sitting there like, yo man, you want some weed? And I'm like, now, they're like, what's up with the hoodie? I'm like, it's just a red hoodie I like it. And like, though, that's marijuana. Yeah, it's marijuana, right? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that you mother. The great bread.

Yeah, I wore that to an AA meeting. I don't even smoke. I wore that to an AA meeting. But also, also, it's bad if you're a drug or alcohol, right? But then also, we're trying to lose weight and we just have cookies. That's just two addictions. Two things I shouldn't have weed and food. But cookies is great.

I don't even smoke weed. But they take care of me. I did a 420 event. You know what I did with them? What? I did a 420 event during the pandemic. The last time, well, with a sagate. Bro, 420 event is me, Paul Rodriguez, Jeff Ross, a couple other comedians, everyone bombed except fucking sagget. He's a fucking, bro,

he went up there, everyone's fucking toasted. Weed it out. And they go, oh, I'm sick. He fucking killed it. He's, he dude, cuz he's only talking about me. People don't know how he's very edgy. So first, they think he's gonna go up and be, you know, what the hell? And he's gonna be full house dude. And he goes up and starts, and he's fast. And even in life when he talks to you, he's that guy.

He's, from his starts talking, it's joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. And one joke connects to every other joke all the way to the end. It's a weird, his tempo is fucking wild. Dave Chappelle's voicemail? No. Sag is still. Are you sure you don't get high? I'm positive.

Dude, I, I know. I know. I would say it, because I swear to God, I think you lie. Everybody thinks that. Because you look like you're basted. I can't know I'd say it because I swear to God I think you like everybody thinks that because you look like you're Basted I know you dude you how much money do you think I've lost looking like this Thousands I think I've lost a lot of money where I go to a meeting You mean the high or the other part what's other part the Puerto Rican part? How much how much money do you think I lost look at Puerto Rican part. How much, how much money do you think I lost? Look at Puerto Rican.

Oh, I think I've gone to meetings and people will like, this guy's fucking high. Yeah, dude, you, I gotta go tell people, I'm not, I never smoked a day in my life because you look, here's the thing. You look like Cookie Monster. You, I don't know what it is. Like, can you get something? You. I don't know what it is. Like, can you get something?

What? I don't know. Can you get an eye opener device? Oh, I'm fucking. What are you looking for right now? Sure, I got pulled over by the cops. I'm like, can you do look like Cookie Monster, dude? I got pulled over by the cops.

The cop takes me out of the car. He goes, how much, how much do you smoke? Like, where's the weed? I go, offside, never smoked a day in my life. He's like, buddy, come on, don't bullshit me. You know, the truth goes a long way. You know the cop talk. Yeah, sure.

I go, I've looked like this my entire life. What's up? He wants it. I go, I've looked this way my entire life. I never smoked a day in my life. He's like, come on, but I show him a baby picture. Ha, ha, ha. Wait, hold on. Let me show you real quick. Oh, it's a map. Where'd I go? Are you sure you're not high right now?

Maybe I'm high. Where's my baby picture? Oh, I fucking lost. Anyway, I show him a baby picture. Oh, it's right here. The first one, duh. I show him this face. Oh my God, you have look stones since you're a kid. The same fucking bags under my eyes, the cop goes, get out of here. Why didn't you say you don't smoke weed at all? Never. You don't do drugs. Never drink.

You don't drink. No. You're clean. I've drank five times in my life, four were by accident. What do you mean? I'm DJing, right? Right. I'm very famous in New York. I've told you just I'm DJ your ridiculously fat grab. I grab my what I think is my soda. I take a sip. I go, oh that's not

mine. Just that's it. I've done that. I've done that. I did that drink the whole shit. I'm the hard out. I've I've taken alcohol in places and people have brought me drinks. Take me a cranberry juice and they're here and they're oh, you don't drink? No, you fucking piece of shit. Tell me. I've actually drank a whole thing of cigarette butts, too. Oh, yeah. What like they were in a cup?

I was at an AA dance when I first got sober and I just go, Fridays and Saturday nights I go to this AA dance. AA dances? Dude, it's the craziest thing. Who's DJ? I give you the gig. Here's the thing. Yeah, they have a DJ you give me the gig? Here's the thing. Yeah, they have a DJ.

They have a DJ and they have a coffee. Right. It's all they have a coffee. They had no water, no soda. You go down and you have coffee and you dance and it always ends on the B-52s and stay ready to have it. But this is to get like the element of a bar club without alcohol. You have a dance.

So Friday night and Saturday night at a church basement, you'd have the St. Mary's young people's dance. So you go there and it was all young people trying to get sober or clean and we'd hang out and then we go dance. So you can have fun and not be around alcohol. So you could get pussy. Yeah. Is what it was. That's. Yeah, that's what it was. That's what it was.

It was so girls could get laid and guys could get laid. And we're gonna go there. And we, well, it was awesome. And I remember going there and I remember, but here's the thing, I still live with my mom at the time because I got sober so young. Yeah. And I remember there was this girl there, man.

Oh my God, you're smoking. And the day I had to be home by 11. My mom, I don't know she wanted me home by 11. Dude I was only 16. She wanted me home by 11. Yeah, yeah, 16. I got so about 15. Holy shit. So I'm, she goes, you be home by 11, whatever. So I'm on the pay phone and I'm looking at the girl. She's over there and I'm on the phone pretending I'm talking like business. And I remember what I the girl, she's over there, and I'm on the phone, pretending I'm talking like business. And I remember when I had on, I had Z-caveri cheese pleated, pleated Z-caveri cheese with suspenders, white t-shirt, I had my crocket.

It was my crocket. It was my device. And I had the suit jacket with the, but I had the suit jacket in my arm and I had the t-shirt with the suspenders. And I was all wet from dancing, the B-52s. And I was, I was, I know there was only a couple songs left, but I was like, ma, please just let me stay another half hour and the girls looking at me. I'm like, yeah, just please go, what's up? And I took the coffee off the top and I just took a big sip and I had fucking just

cigarette butts hanging out of my mouth. And I went, I'll be home in five minutes. I'm coming home now. I just have to fall. I was like, I gotta go. I just looked over, she was dying her to come drug addict, squat friends would just laugh at me. Yeah, man.

Sober early. That's great that you never did it. Now, what? Here's the thing. You worked. Look, we, I've already talked no te hagas! ¿Qué? ¿Qué es la cosa? ¿Y tú? ¿Vamos? Yo he already contado con todo el que he hecho. ¿Y los que no saben? Yo he descubierto Rihanna,

tu trabajo en JC, JC, JC, tu trabajo en JC, JC Pennings, JC Pennings es un guay, tu trabajo. ¿Múscas contenido gratis? ¡I wanna be see! You worked it. You worked it. You worked it. You worked it. You worked it.

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Yeah. You're back on the radio at 94.7. Yeah. The block. The block, which is not the rock. Is that the rock? No, it's the block. Yep.

What made you go back to radio, bro? It's, it's, uh, money. Money? It was good money. Uh, it's, it's pretty good money, but they, they really went after me. What do you mean? They, the people at the station were really wanting me to be on that station. Is it just you?

Or is it, is it a, is it a show? Like, I'm on the, I'm on the bonfire, but it's not just Jay and me. It's Jacob. It's black loose. It's Lou. It's Christine. It's like a, it's almost like a sitcom. I got two, I got one, two interns with me sometimes. Okay. It's just me. Okay. Well, that's the time slot. And if it was a morning show, it'd be different. Right. It was morning show as a team. Right. But I do mid days, which is 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and you're doing yacht, you're doing yacht rock now, which is wild. No yacht rock. I'm kidding. It's it's it's hit by all get it. It's hip hop. It's hip hop, right? I mean, I love yacht rock. I didn't do man, but um, yeah, it's throwbacks. What's a throwback? It's from 92 to 2008. What time of the day you want? 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not perfect. Why? It's not proud to you. Why? I'm sitting in fucking rush hour traffic to get to work by 9.30 and then where the fuck do you live? I live up by you. You live in Westchester?

In Rockland. You live in Rockland? Yeah. Never told me. It's new. All right. Yeah. It's new. Dude, we're fucking uptown boys. We're fucking we're uptown. I actually have told

you. I said, I want to come to your shed. You told me and I never acknowledged it. Or you said you said your face was like, I don't want you in my house. That's true. It's a house. Yes, but the shed is fine. I'd love you in the shed. I don't want you in the house. Look at me. No, I definitely have you at my house. I stopped doing the shed thing. I stopped after the pandemic stopped. I come in the city now. I don't want to, I did the shed thing seven days a week. And as soon as we could come back down here,

I'm like, I'll do that a little bit, but I don't want to go back to that for a while. No, no, it was too much. Plus I had to fucking truck somebody out there and it was in the shed. Well, not me, much. Plus I had to fucking truck somebody out there. Yeah. It was in the shed. Well, not me, I drive. I know you would.

I can't stand these fucking, I drive tow. I can't stand these people, I don't drive, man. Why? What are you doing? What's not? How do you get around? Yeah, they, Well, what about the New Yorkers that don't know how to drive?

Yeah. Yeah, what are you doing? What about the New Yorkers that don't know how to take the subway? Oh, no, that's, I don't know. Who who's that Jim Norton learned a year and a half. No. How did he get around taxi? He drove. Oh, yeah, he drove. Yeah, drove. Yes. That's the way. I mean, that's plays from Long Island. No, he's from Jersey. Do you know, Jersey? Yeah, he's from Jersey. No, it's from Jersey. Oh, no? Yeah, it's from Jersey. I think you know what's from the island. No, it's from Jersey.

Oh, no. Same thing. It is, it is. Long Island is just trashy. So it's Staten Island, that's not a burrow. Yeah, that's Jersey. Yeah.

Yeah, dude, it's, it's, um, well, yeah, back on the radio. It's, you're back on the radio. I'm sorry, my fucking side tractor with all this other horse shit. You're back on the radio. But I don't, like, you got to go in ten, so ten of them on your traffic. But here's the thing,

you got to go in, do the radio from ten to two, and then you're home in the afternoon with the kids. Yeah, right? It's the five days a week. I got a drive drive back home and drive back to the city. Yeah, it's a lot. So you're coming, you're doing that. I see I only come in Tuesdays. I don't fuck around. It's not work like you thoughs. I don't feel like I don't work like you though. I don't have to, I don't have the weekend gigs like you. What are you talking about? You're on the road on the weekend. Oh, you comedy.

Yeah, for comedy. Yeah. Why? You have a radio show. No, that's not the same. Radio show. Radio show is not like it used to be. Dude, you have a lot of listeners.

94.7 is like a lock. It's not like a lock. I mean, I'm new, so I don't know the power of it yet, but it's not like it used to be. Really? When I was on hot 97, I said I was doing a show, sold out. Act. Not now. No, I mean, I haven't even tried it yet because it doesn't, doesn't feel like it is. You got to try it, dude.

What if you, I got to do a show, do a show, Jersey, upstate New York, Connecticut, do a show all around. Like I did, I did a New York comedy club at Stanford. How was it? It was great. It was super fun, but it wasn't packed. Now we'll shout it out on the radio. Really? Yeah.

How the fuck, how does that happen? I don't know. My radio fans don't consider me a comedian technically. They didn't follow me to comedy, really. That's weird. I know. Who are you telling? I'm telling you. This is a fuck off.

I think I'm telling you. I'm like, this is a wrap off. Yeah, right? So why don't you tell them? I tell them. That's why I post stuff. Do put the button. Ba-ba bap bap I'm doing comedy kankankank I'm doing comedy this week and bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap

this Friday this Friday night I'm gonna stand for the song bap bap bap come on see me bap bap bap bap bap I'm gonna stand for the song Sanford and Will the fuck is it? Sanford can I get bap bap bap bap bap I'm gonna jump yard I'm gonna throw me down a jug yard I don't know where the fuck is it? Sanford, get out of here. Bye bye, bye bye. I'm gonna jump yard. I'll perform it on a jug yard. I don't know where the fuck.

I can just share my pants. No, but it's good. Dude, I almost got killed today. Oh yeah, what happened? I'm in the subway. Yeah, this is not. What time? What time?

Was it 9th graders? No. Cause I don't fuck with the train. I don't fuck with the train. I don't fuck with the train. I'll ride the train from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. and then I'll get back on it seven to 10. But that, that three to six, it's rough. It's scary.

Yo, middle school and high schoolers, I'm not fucking with that, man. There's too many of them. Yo. And then I'll give a fuck, man. I'm not fucking with that. There's too many of them. Yo, and they don't give a fuck. Man, I got, I'll tell you how I almost got killed. I got, they recognized me once, right? Oh shit. They recognized me.

This is when I was like, this one I had like billboards in New York City, like hot 97 morning show. So they recognized me. Oh shit, Siphon South. So these surround me. It's all love. It's all great. Siphon South, Siphon South.

And then it turned one guy's ass. So he goes, yo, my cousin wraps. My cousin wraps. You got to take his demo as CD or whatever. I was like, all right, you got it. You have it. Nah, you got to, you got to get it. What? Well, what do you, I don't, what's his name? All right. First of all, you, can I stop you right here? Yeah. You went too far right there. Wow. I was going to, I will, man, I'll look it up. Keep it rolling. Well, look at him, how? That's a matter, he doesn't want it,

he just wants you to go, okay. Okay, you're right. You're going too far. You're right. You're right. And you're being a little, you're like, can I, this because I'm married. You're acting like my wife right now.

Uh-huh. A little path, you're being passive aggressive. All right, well, how do I find his name? Well, listen, you can't go find it, motherfucker. I agree with the kid. You're being an asshole. All right, where is it? You got it now?

I don't, I can hear my wife going, I'm gonna take your car, we'll find. Do you have the keys? I don't know, where are they? Well, where are they? If you need the car, where you get the keys? All right, well, I'm gonna go and do you need anything in town? I don't know, do I?

Do I need something? Do we need stuff? Let me check the closet. Yeah, it's due to issues. Yeah, right, you being a little aggressive. So go ahead, what do you do after that? So then, so then they, you know, it turned aggressive and they surrounded me.

Oh, cause they have to stick together. They had to. Yeah, that's right. So he turned aggressive. Turn aggressive. And they're like, they had to be, I want us ninth grade, but maybe eighth grade Oh And they surround me and I was like oh fuck so I look the one kid in the face. I go y'all are gonna jump me

And put me in the hospital. I know that but I'm taking you with me and I pointed a one guy I'm taking you with me and I pointed a one guy, I'm taking you with me. And what do you say? And they just got this. He went like this. Go ahead, mom. No, they got shocked. They got shocked.

And then the door open, not my stop. I just jumped off. Oh my, you pushed out. You left him in shock and they were like, oh, he jumped off the train. What the hell are fucking knife for a gun? Dude, a knife for a gun. There's 18 of them. They don't feed that. They'll jump. You're like little, little t he jumped off the track. What the hell are fucking knife, we're a gun. Dude, a knife or a gun, there's 18 of them. They don't feed that.

They'll jump, you're like little tussians and don't go down the track. There's no weapons I could take them. Let me tell you something today. I could say, I do the elbow, to, you know, the elbow and then the fist up, boom, boom. I'm sorry, what was that? You ever see like a 80s karate,

you do the elbow to the chest. Bang. Like right here in the box. Yeah, sure, I get it right. Solar plexus. Solar plexus. The clavicle, I don't know what that is. Yeah, sure, I get it right. The solo plexus. The solo plexus. The clavicle, I don't know what that is.

The clitoris, right? The clitoris. Right in the chest clitoris. And the chest clit. And then you, and then you hit him in the chest clit, then what? And that's up. Now, how fast can you think you can get that up? Because I have rode, I have a rotated club problem.

I can only go right here before you start here and click. And then I go, out, out, out. So, I think this is a young man's game. I think, boo, boo. Yeah, I think I can just do, I could do this. And then I go, hello. I can go, hi. I can just hit him.

I stopped right before it. I go, hi. And then you're done. Dude, I was on the train today. I came down here, parked the car. And I'm like, oh, let me walk up to 14th. I can eat it. You do a meter? No, I get the meter. I'm already took him, let me walk up to 14th. I can eat it. You do meter?

I get the meter. I'm already taking a big piece of shit. I'm fucking a lot. Okay. You think I'm still. Who's lot next to the view? Next to the view. There's too much.

Nothing. A lot's expensive. Yeah, make them money. All right, go ahead. I got weekend gigs. This weekend, I'm a fucking Stanford. If Thursday night, I'm at Sanford. It's a cold Sanford.

Stanford and so on. New York comedy club, and then I'm doing the mother ship. Oh, yeah. I'm excited Samford. It's a close Samford. New York comedy club and then I'm doing the mothership. Yeah. Excited about this. Regan's club. Let me tell you something. It's, it's, it's heard. It's amazing.

I can't wait to play it. I don't know how it's going to be the headline though. Just to sidetrack a little bit. I don't know how it, I did a 10 minute spot, fucking killer. Yeah. But I'm going to go up and headline. Not, I love you. Yeah. But I'm gonna go up and headline. Not I love you. Okay. But I, yeah, I'm, but you don't know that. What if they never know? What if they put like seven headline?

What if I got to go up after? Yeah, true. Yeah. And then Rogan, hey, then we jump on real quick. Yeah, yeah. It's my club. How you doing? Guys, you guys ready? For general. Please go nuts. I argue with you. You're always right. I am. But you know what? It's still going to be fun.

It doesn't matter. I would love it if Joe fucking jumped on the show. That being sane. But that's why I like the club. The hang upstairs, dude. I want to one of the greatest hangs. I mean, I sat down next to Russell Peters, smoking a bad, everybody's up there smoking something. And there's just people going on and off stage. It might be a Boston in the

right, the little 90s. Yeah. So anyways, I'm on the train. Now, you know, you walked to 14th, I walked to 14th, jump out of train, F and M, and then you go to go down to the L and then go back up because they fucked up the train system. When Bloomberg was here, Giuliani was here. They cleaned the trains. They had it nice. You went down there and they would, yeah, hosing the fucking stairs off every day. Yeah, they spent money on cleaning up the city. You don't like this mayor? No, oh, he's the next cop, he's a fucking coke addict. He's black.

Huh? Cause he's black. I didn't say that. He's black. Is he black? He's black. I didn't know that. Oh, you, I was gonna call it.

I thought his name was Evans. I thought he was Irish. I know, not because he's black. I love a black mayor. Just as long as you're not an asshole, the governor and the mayor gotta get people back on bail. Get him, get him in jail and get him in an institution where they can get help.

Here's a problem. You can fuck a maniac's walking down. And now they, you don't know, look at the guy with one slipper and shit in his pants, I know to stay away from him. Right. The Puerto Rico and no sleeves dress like he's fucking an emo. I didn't know. They dress to warn you.

They have the right attire to let you know. Yes. So come over this way. Hey, I don't have teeth. Stay away from me. Right. Yeah. Hey, I smell like corn and shit.

Don't come near me. My white wife, beater, is a yellow, gray, orange mixture. Yes, I'm holding a yellow, gray, orange mixture. Yes, I'm holding a dead fetus that I took out of my wife's vagina in an alley this morning. Stay back. So dude, this guy, I go this way, wrong way, I turn, I accidentally kind of almost bump into this guy. He misses me.

Motherfucker, fucking bitch, fucker. Watch where you fucking going. Fuck. I was like, dude, I was just shut the fuck up. I'm giving a fuck. Shut the fuck fucking. Well, that's why you fucked up. Why? I try to explain to him what you're doing. I was trying to be a passive aggressive. I was. But yes, I just cursed it. What was he? How'd he look? It was a point of reading, dude. No offense. No sleeves, tight stuff, thin, but not skinny. Young, bald, now, my age.

40 something. He looked like he, he looked dangerous. I get it. Right, dangerous. I know who he is. Yep, dangerous, dude. Fucking ain't taking it. He's not a criminal.

He was a criminal. Yeah, he was. He was a criminal back in the day. Right. He's got a fucking job now. What at any moment? He'll flip. Well, let's, let's say this.

So I go down my stairs, he goes down that way. I'm free, but now I gotta go this way. So now I see him. He's in front of me. Walking. And he goes, he's still talking, fucking bitch. Fag, but call me Fag, call me queer. Classic. But I'm not there.

I'm behind him. And I'm like, oh, fucking relax. Did you bump me? I do. No. You didn't even touch him, no. Oh my God. I said, I'm fucking relaxed, dude.

Yeah. And he was like, what bitch motherfucker? I go, shut the fuck up. Ooh. I was done. Really? And he what bitch motherfucker. I go shut the fuck up. Oh, I was done really and he came at me You said shut the fuck up. I was I was done I was a fuck you dude. I was so sick of his and I think it was a combination of a bunch of the shit. Yeah, you know I'm married at you came at me What do you do man to man? He came at me your face came at me to fight

And I pushed him I was like fucking get the fight Well, I didn't push him all the way because I had my snack bag from CVS my trisket with salami and cheese It's an aged cheddar forage at CVS and I had my phone in this hand and then I have my Louis Vuitton crossbody Yeah across here across the vitals So I pushed him with this hand You pushed him. Push him. Get the fuck away from me. Wow. And then I think he felt like that. He went back. Like, oh, this, you know, all right.

Yeah, it's going to be a fight. And he went, his phone fell and he was like, all right. That's the last thing you want to see when you push a Puerto Rican dude is a smile. You don't want to see this. All right. Okay. He went, okay. Smile. You don't want to see this. All right. Okay. He went, okay. Frank. Now you're gonna die. He pulled out a knife. He pulled out a knife. Fast. Also, that's the smile. Can I see your knife, Mo? Mo's here. Mo from tattoo. Why? Hey, can I have that knife? Yeah, but why do you have a knife? I'm not putting my fingerprints on it. No, he's, no, let me see.

Pass me that. I can't. Why? I can't touch that. This is craziness. So this is what I heard, ready? Shit. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, 14th Street? 14th Street. I mean, as quick as that was a guy,

my mother, like that, I heard that. And he was like, and he started coming at me. No, 100%. Bobby. Yeah, coming at me. He sliced my snack pack back from CVS. Are you serious? He sliced it. I put it up, I held it up.

He was coming at me. Now you wanna fuck around, you pussy. He's like, I knew you were a pussy. I was like, I said, you're gonna stab me over words. He's gonna come out. Not my greatest day. Is this real? I didn't know what to say.

What time was this? This is at 1.30. This is real? This is real. I said, do you think you didn't have one of my hoodies? I tried to be here. You would have ruined it. Dude, I tried to be like, I was like, you know,

you're a stab me over the word? Am I around? Nobody. We're at the L level. We're at the bottom. Shit. So he's coming at me and I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like running, like kind of running away back with my arm out.

Is that a knife that have nail clippers on it? No, that's just a thing. What's that there? That's just put on your cover? Oh, a little clip. Sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, look like a nail clip. Like it was a Swiss army knife.

It's a white guy knife. Yeah, I love white guy knife. Yeah, so you tell me that. I'm so white. Heck, can you pass it, then? Just a finger prison, your palms, dummy. That's how it's getting set up. So anyway, is can you pass it to him? Still fingerprints on your palms, dummy. That's how it's getting set up. So anyway, he's, what do you think you're killing hookers?

So, so anyway, so he's, he's literally coming at me like this. Fuck. He's coming at me, he wants to kill me. He didn't seem like a crazy person. He was like a criminal. Both. Shit. Both at this point

He's gonna stab me's gonna he's gonna cut me he wants to cut me to you know me go back over Bile why I didn't I went this way he I didn't know he's in front of me and then he he went down one Look if we had fought man to man. Yeah, it would have been fine You know what it would you when you when, like, come on, that's... When I pushed him, he was like, oh, I'm not gonna beat this guy. Yeah. He knew, he's not gonna beat me, right?

He knew I was like, I fuck you. Then he goes, I knew you were a fag. Wow. And I was like, because I'm running away. I'm like, dude, you have a knife. You're still conversing with the guy. I didn't say that. I said it in my head.

I was like, I said it actually after I left, I was like, I'm adding to the story because that's what you can do. There's nobody really knows. I was like, dude, you have a knife, man. What's this? A cash. And then, oh, there's footage. I don't know if that's all.

Just me blowing them, please leave it alone. I'm sorry, I bumped into you. Do you like turkey with trisket? So that was, he kicked my phone, dude. He kicks my phone. What do you mean, you're phone in your hand? He kicked me and my phone was in my hand and went flying onto the track.

No. I was in shock. Oh my. Sife, I went like this. You kicked my phone, dude. And he was like, I'm gonna kill you. I'm like, my phone. And he was like, what?

Did you feel like he was gonna kill you? Yeah. Really? Yeah, dude. Do you feel like he was trying to scare you? He was, or he would have asked you. Nope, he would have poked you. He would have poked me, man.

Wow. He would have cut my arm or cut my face. That's why I don't fuck with the train. He would have caught me just to let me know you pussy. And if he had caught me, I would have caught my arm or caught my face. That's why I don't fuck with the train. He would have caught me just to let me know you pussy. And if he had caught me, I would have had to fucking. Not but that's different. Cutting your face, you can't prove, this is a money maker, dude.

I know, but cutting you to prove a point or to lose all this weight. You can't kill you. You're a fucking scar. What have you had to ill scar? Now, if you had a scar under your chin, well, you already got rid of the double chin, and then he put a scar to make it look like a double chin.

Oh, fuck yeah, he'd be dead. I'd eat, I'd fucking cut his head off, eat it and become fat again on his body. He's, he, he, he, he. Anyways, so he kicks my phone dude, and I keep going, he's coming at me, and I'm like, my phone's on the tracks. And he's like, I'll fuck you, you fucking gay motherfucker.

I knew you were gay. I don't know why I kept saying that. But first of all, you know that, right? What? He's gay. Well, I didn't have a, he's fighting demons. Listen, here's the thing. I had a David Bowie shirt and a Louis Vuitton cross-bonded

with a shirt jacket. Wait, that's David Bowie? This is the shirt, that's what I was dressed in. He was more, not insulting me, he was more evaluating my look at that boy. The bag, you had a bag of trisks. And these glasses, I like a bit fang on my JJM's. I mean, I looked like I just came.

The only thing that said to me was, the only thing he said to me was, my phone. Yeah. I went was my phone. Yeah, my phone's on the track. And I said, you're gonna stab somebody of words. Like that was like one of those, one of those Latter-day st. commercials.

I'm gonna stab you with over words. It's a school special. Yeah, like that's when I started breaking out and dance over words, you're gonna take a life over words. You're gonna take a life over words, you're gonna take my life over words, over words, and he's like, yeah, motherfucker, over words. It was so bad. I just kept staring at it,

and I think me repeating my phones on the tracks, flipped him out a little, cause he don't understand. I was more concerned, cause I had to post something at two o'clock because that's on Tuesday That's the time to post on Instagram to get the most likes and I was like I had a video I had a bone to pick video to put up And I had to get in touch with Danza. Holy shit. Is that fucking autistic kid here? Anyways, um, it's crazy to happen to now my he leaves, I hear a mumble in the way out.

All of a sudden, this is the weirdest part. I think white people are protected by middle aged white women and blouses. Yeah, because around five white women, like Martha Stewart, well, yeah, came out of nowhere and went, are you all right? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?

Did they see it? Yeah, coming down the side. I didn't know where they were, but they were all came up to me like, do you want us to call the police on him? Holy shit. Are you okay? And I was like, yeah, is this true blood?

I feel like I was in true blood. Like, and they were fairies. Like, we were watching from the darkness. Holy shit. We're here to protect you at all time. We protect the white people. We sense your Italian Irish. Even though you look like a Puerto Rican,

Dominican gay man. Oh, dude. Dude, it was weird. And I kind of walked away. I was like, I'm good. Then all of a sudden there was a guy in Orange Vest. I was like, yo, yo dude, the guy just attacked me with a knife. He goes, I saw it. What? Okay, thanks for doing something. You have a vest you son of me. Yeah. So this fucking whatever. So I'm like, my phone. He said, yeah, I can't get it.

I'm like, why? He goes, I can't. I go, can I jump down and get it? He goes, I wouldn't. Well, what are you not supposed to ask? Yeah, but the first time I have a bad knee and I don't want to jump down and not be able to get back up and then have to ask these white women to help drag me back up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you need us to help you back up, Chevy? You thought you lost weight, but you think you'd levitate back up? You don't have the upper body strength to pull your tubby ass back up off the train. And then he goes, the train's automatic. They don't stop. They just stop when, you know, if they see you,

it's just gonna go. Yeah. So all of a sudden, I'm sitting there, you know, sitting, right? Yeah. I see him. What the fuck is happening? I go up, I go up, so I have to go up to the top

and go back down to the other street because there's no control. I have to go to the booth. I go to the booth, I say I got attacked by a guy with a knife. Do you want us to call the cops? I go, no, my phone's on the tracks, I need my phone. That's all I care about. She goes, I just want to ask you.

Yeah, sure. It fell on the, like, you have the two rails. Yeah, and it's, it's on, it's over by the third rail. But it, okay, it's not gonna get crushed by the train. It is not, okay, that's where I would be turned. Well, at this point, I don't know. Okay. So I go up out of the street, go up over,

go to the lady, I say, hey, this just happened, I need my phone. Yeah. She goes, yeah, you get to, I gotta call somebody, there's a phone getter. Like if you drop something on the track, there's people that are, it shows it takes an hour. Oh, I'm like, God. That's too, I don't want to wait down there. What if he comes back?

Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, fuck, because you wanted to call the police. He was the phone getter. Oh, the police. Bit motherfucker. I got a clock in now. I get your fucking phone.

What if he changes whole attitude? Heist, how are you? I'm sorry, motherfucker. I got a clock in now. Get your fucking phone. No, but what if he changes whole attitude? How are you? I'm sorry, but what happened before? Sometimes I get a little crazy when I have to go to work. I was angry. I was angry. I had a couple of egg bites from Starbucks.

I feel much better. So, dude, and you know what? I like your outfit. Your cross-body. That's a Louis. Is that a real Louis? I can tell you. He goes, you know, there's a your outfit. Your cross-body, that's a Louis. Is that a real, that's a real Louis? I can tell you. He goes, you know, there's a conspiracy theory on how David Bowie predicted the birth of Kanye

West. What? Yeah. What? You never seen that? No. Sorry, this is a very interesting podcast of sidebars. Let's go.

It's a sidebar podcast. Go. So, look it back. There is what? A David Bowie album. I don't know which one on the cover. On the sign it says K West. It's like it looks like a nightclub sign like it's a name of a bar or a club. Okay. It says K West. Yeah. And it goes in the something. I don't know the lyric, but it's like in the year of 78. A genius born. Oh, there it is. Okay. So in that album, he says something about a

stinted. Read it. Okay, read it. No, my producer. I can't read glasses. Oh, you make Max read stuff. He used to do that on my podcast. Do you like Max? Huh? I like him as a person. Right. He's as a person. He's a good person. He's a good kid. What about producer? He wasn't a good producer. Really? He's right here. You know that, right?

Oh, now he is. Now he is. Now he is. He's trying to sabotage me four times. No, he needed your structure. Why? He didn't have structure. Of course he did. It was you and Will.

Yeah, I'm a structure. He has autism. What do you did. It was you and Will. Yeah, I'm structured. Guy has autism. What do you mean he doesn't need? He has structure in his brain. If you looked into his eyes, no, I'm sorry, he can't. He doesn't look at you. What does it say?

1972, David Bowie. I can't read past that. Please read it. It's really small. What? No, we can't, we, you're not on a mic, so it doesn't count. 1972, David Bowie channeled his alter ego ego Ziggy started us and became a rock star messenger

for aliens. At the time listeners heard the opening song five years and believed the message was that the earth only had five years left, but it was before it was destroyed. In the first verse, Bowie sings, news had just come over. We had five years left to cry. News guy wept and told us, Earth was really dying. Almost 44 years later, Earth is still here and it's become clear what the true message was. David Bowie was predicting the birth of Kanye West. Oh, okay, so that album was from 72. Yeah. And then five years from that Kanye was born.

So he predicted Kanye's, that's a stretch. Now there's more to it. It describes them. They were trying to express. And Kanye West, he doesn't say K West was born in Atlanta, Georgia exactly five years to the day after the album release. Years of his life, he began to run incredible creativity, trying to handle the world as he offered almost a half a century after the song's predictions. Well, there's one prediction. There was one. One of the other things in the song that Kanye has done, whatever it is.

I don't know how to love a song. Fuck a fat chick with a big ass. Who's she's not fat? You don't think she's fat. Kanye, what, I mean, Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Now maybe she's fat. She's, she had four kids.

All right, listen, I'm coming from a different place. My wife has the ass of a spated shovel. Chinese women go, you got flat ass Anyway, yeah, so anyway So that's it then it's so did they get the phone? Oh Here we go back to mine. So we went to a sidebar. We're back in so anyways Seaton was there. I go yo. Oh see I went to the lady. She's like get a go wait over there. I'll send the guy, right?

She let me use her phone, sweet lady. Call my wife. I literally just said, I've been attacked. No, I've been attacked by a guy with a knife. He tried to kill me. I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah.

Well, you need that. Listen, here's the thing. I was fine. Yeah. I could have told my wife later, but you need to, hey, I almost died. Right. I almost got killed.

Balance is out of the way. I want her to fucking be like, what? Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, you might have fucking lost the Chiching machine. Right. Yeah. You're gonna have to go do facials again.

Yeah. How's that? You're gonna have to, you know, do some weird shit. Yeah. You maybe give a fucking, you know, a couple of hand jobs. Does she have only fans? Not yet. Oh. I'll get her.

I'll get my wife to sell her feet. Yeah, she got nice feet and nice fingers. Yeah. Yeah. Except for the, you know what, take the feet back. She got a nub on one. The left foot I'd sell the hat. Some people like that.

I don't know about this one. But anyways, where I go back to the thing, I see seat and is there. Seat and is like, looks cool as a motherfucker. Did he see what happened? Nah, I go yo, he goes, hey, he's so, he's such a nice guy. Yeah, but you know, he's also like a fucking train. He's a killer.

Fucking martial arts master. He's a killer. He came a little too late. Dude, seconds. Yeah. And he goes, he goes, yo, where the fuck is he? I go, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

He wants to go find him. Yeah, he should. I don't wanna, has a train come since then? Trains, yes. So he wants, I'm like, now I just lost my phone. He goes, what? I go, my phone's on the tracks. Can you call it so I can see?

So he goes, oh, we go where it is. We think it's over here. It's all actually over there. Oh shit. So I hear it ringing over there. We go back, I'm like, it's right there somewhere. It's, we think it's over here. It's all actually over there. Oh shit. So I hear it ringing over there. We go back, I'm like, it's right there somewhere. He's like, oh man, I'm like, yeah, I need my phone. I can't, I can't go down there.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to see it in the down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah and kill a butterfly. We'll bring you up. Dude, so all of a sudden, brings me up. He goes, jumps down and he grabs my phone. He's coming back and I'm like, yo, yo, my wallet.

No. My wallet, because my wallet's on the back of my phone, like a magnet. So that fell off. So he handed me the phone. I'm like, yo, my wallet's over there. He's like, oh, fuck man. Come on, not yet, not yet. Dude, I need my wallet. It there. He's like, oh, fuck man. Come on, now you're in, now you're in.

Dude, I need my wall. It's a platinum M. X and a gold M. X. Where are you? How do you mind? I got my P. B. A. card in there. What if I get full no more? So it was over on the other side of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the you go, ooh, and he was gonna go electrocute him. And he picked it and dropped it and then picked it up and then came back, jumped up like a, like a body rabbit.

Did he do the arms? Pushed himself up and then he went up. Now he jumped and then did the arms. Shit. He did some parkour shit. He's fucking man is he good. Sick like that. And I was like dude, I was like dude, I owe you dinner.

I want to get you dinner. I'm getting you a steak. He's like, all right, let's go. I was like, nah, nah, not now. I could go to work. But you're going to serious. I was going to serious. So Friskos is right there.

Come on, dude, I got a show to do. Oh, you should have brought a Delphi. What the fuck am I doing? I'm sit by himself. Delphi. I had to go do a show. I'm gonna take him, I'm taking him to, I'm taking him out. You gotta take him.

I'm taking him out and I'm getting him a steak. You know why you gotta take seat now? Why? He went and grabbed your phone, grabbed your wallet, great. But he was gonna, but if he was there when that shit happened, it would have, it would have, it would have been worth the dinner. We couldn't have fought. If I had somebody, what do you mean we?

Why, why, why you been this? Why you in this? I see him with a fucked a guy and why you can stay out of it? The guy had a knife. See him with a fucking, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck the guy on water, you can stay out of it. The guy on a knife. See, you're gonna fucking walk, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, that didn't work out of it. He would like, good, yeah. Ash, elbow, face to the face.

What would you have done if you got attacked by a knife? Wilding man. No, I, okay. Would you do what I did? Here's no, here's my problem. What? My problem is I, I fight very hard. I'm like, Bill Bixby an incredible hook. I have a switch that I go red instantly.

So my superpower is to avoid the moments of going red. So if that would have happened, I would have just went completely away from that guy away. Just walked away. Yeah, even like, even like at the beginning. Yeah, even at the beginning. I tried to do that. And you can't take it, you can't take shit. Somebody giving you shit. I can take shit. The reason why I can take shit is because I get scared of hot,

when I flip and it's, you know, it's the same thing with me. I don't want to wind up in jail. Like if I flip exactly, I don't want to wind up in Breaker's from murder. I don't want to go to jail. I don't want to go to jail. Him killing me. Look, if he cut me, if he got at me, I would have to fucking, I'd have to, yeah, I would have to fucking throw. I would have grabbed him, I'd have to, I would have to fucking throw, I

would have grabbed him and thrown him on the tracks by his head. I would have just thrown him on the tracks and left him. Yeah, I would walk the way. I would have went and got cops, guy attacked me. You know what I mean? And my phone's on the track. I'm not saying I would be like, listen, my phone's on the track. She was decapitated. That phone is now evidence, sir. Wow, I need my wallet. Can I get my wallet? Bro, I have a fucking switch that I know I will go to jail if I go red and I don't want to go to jail because in jail, you can't be red all the time. You know what I mean?

That shit happens in an emotional moment. Yeah. So I've been in situations. They used to be my boy, Big Cav. I was a brother. He used to roll with me everywhere. He was my road manager, but he was a big guy. People used to think he was used to be my boy, Big Cav, used to roll with me everywhere. He was my road manager, but he was a big guy.

People used to think he was a good guy. His name's Big Cav. He wasn't a security, but he was a big guy. And he used to, like, keep people away from me because in certain moments, he's like, I'm not here to protect Syf. I'm here to protect you from Syf. Yeah, right.

And it was just, and it's bad. And every time I've done it, it's not, you know, maybe 10 times in my life, but every time I've done it, I felt horrible about it. So I try to avoid those situations. Yeah, that thing, the thing that I was ready to fight this guy,

and that was stupid too. Even if I heard him, here's the thing, I go to jail. You're the one that, yeah, you're the one that I go to jail. Yeah, I go to jail. So I mean, if there's no video of him hitting you for, even with that is fucking, we're such in a topsy terbi world nowadays, even if there's video of him

punching you first, you know, you might get straight white mailed. I don't, I wouldn't do that. I would fake an accent. If they interview me like this guy come up to me. They put me in a push me I push him back and I say that's not going to fly. I'm going to hit you with my fist. Your accent is I got scar face Miami. Like a idiot. You want to fuck? I told you I told told him to say, take the back of the bad guy. Sanitarium, not Sanitation.

Sanitation. That's how funny is Scarface, by the way. No, that's the first Scarface is hilarious. Aneterium, I said Sanitarium. Sanitarium, not Sanitation. Yeah, dude, I'm like, oh, this is gonna be a good movie. Can you bring that clip up? How funny? I wrote that in my notes.

I was watching Scarface recently. There are so many fucking... Uh, what, what are you doing? How you doing? I'll show you right now. Okay, and he goes over to the kid. Watch this. This guy's going to make a fool of himself.

Uh, uh, uh, he slams him in the face. It's funny. What was that? What are you doing? Are you found it? This is the standardarium. I play it. So, so, what's your tello? Tello, when you told me you're tellingo, I toldo, I was in sanitation. Didn't go for it. So, tation.

Yeah, I told you to tello, it. So, take it. Yeah. I told you to tell them, do us in a sanitary. Sanitary. Yeah. You didn't tell me. I told you to tell you you have TB, and you was in a sanitary.

You was cured. Why do you tell me that? You should have kept your mouth shut Exit it I just started I said you had TV I do in a set of them I told you that told the city and how would you face it's like you fucking idiot It's great what a funny movie. It's got somebody funny fucking parts. All right, listen man. No, sidebar. Sidebar, go.

You know Spielberg directed just the part where the guy at the end where the guys that are going to kill Tony come up the stairs. Yeah. If you watch the whole movie, Scarface is a cheesy movie. It's cheesy. Now the whole movie. That it wasn't. No, no, it's still is a cheesy movie. It's cheesy now. The whole movie. That it wasn't. No, no, it's still good.

It was. It wasn't back that now. But it's when you watch all the other parts with that part, all that shit, it's cheesy. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, it's a fucking beautiful cinematic moment. Music because who did that? The Palmer? Yeah.

The Palmer goes, hey, they all used to support each other. Copa, Lucas, Spielberg, they used to go to each other sets. And he goes, hey, can you shoot this stair ship when the guys are coming up with the machine guns up the stairs? And he goes, I'll give you the B, you gave him the B camera crew. Right. And if you watch it, it's a fucking beautiful moment, like almost like a ballet. When they go up to the step that's framed,

never in the movie is there a shot like that. And then they're coming up to steps, and they go in the room, and then it goes back to the palm which is fucking, but up to stairs, a Spielberg. No shit, I didn't know that. Yeah, that's what I'm here for.

Nice side to random. Well, I got questions. Okay, first of all, I want you to check him out. 97 and 94.7. The blind you and please follow me on Instagram at cipher sounds. Yeah. Max put my name on the bottom. Well, I got to know about this sidebar. What's this thing with the Welch's grape jelly? You got no big fight with Thompson girl with who? Thompson girl. Saguera? You got no fight with him? About. Oh, yes, yes, yes, oh, you're so about.

What is that? Okay. Biggie has a famous line. You know, biggie, no Tories, B.I.G. I do. All right. All right. You know, some white people don't know that we call them biggie.

I know that he's biggie. All right. Some people say no Tories, B.I.G. because that's the legal name. He's dead. He has a line. He says, um, um, they're going to get food after the club. He goes, um,

cheese, uh, what did he say? Cheese, cheese, cheese, eggs, steak, cheese, eggs and welches grape. Okay. And for the longest, people don't know what he meant by welches grape. First of all, a lot of people out of New York City thought he meant grape jelly because he's fat. Yeah. So they're like, oh, he's ordering eggs. He probably had toast.

He was putting grape jelly on. Is that what Tugora thought? I thought some people thought is grape juice. Tugora said jelly. He said jelly. Yeah, he said. Okay. Some people thought, I'd have. He said jelly. He said jelly. Yeah, he said okay. Some people thought I'd have even heard the jelly. The argument in New York was grape soda or grape juice.

Okay. Then when I put that up, because I asked little C's who was big, he's right here man. People started coming back with like no grape jelly. Yeah. I'm like jelly wasn't even in the in the game in the in the conversation. Right. Is grape soda. So that's a New York thing. People didn't even know there was Welch's grape soda. Really? Have you ever seen it? Of course I have. You look in New York. Yeah. I think I don't get that stuff because that's just diabetes. Yeah, I don't think it's a nationwide thing. Yeah.

So they didn't know what he was talking about. So they're like, we have armed breakfasts. He's having breakfast. We would have grape juice. I'm like, it's not breakfasts at four in the morning. Right. It's still fucking club food. Yeah. Soda, grape soda. Okay. So what was the current? What's the problem? He said, jelly. It's not jelly. It's definitely not jelly. It's soda. a hundred percent. I could understand it being grape juice or grape soda having an argument. Right. Jelly was never, he said I had steak, cheese eggs, and Welch's grape. He doesn't mention toast at all. Yeah, but why would I've never seen a rapper eat toast?

No, rapper's he toast. Oh, sorry. No, there probably was toast. That was the most racist thing I've ever said. There probably was toast. No matter if I guarantee is he toast. Oh, sorry. I know there probably was toast. That was the most racist thing I've ever said There probably was toast. No matter if I guarantee there was toast then why wouldn't it be grape jelly? There might have been grape jelly That's not he was what he was talking about your friend who knew was the right-hand man said it was grape soda grape soda grape soda

But that's the thing because big he loved grape soda. He loved of course he did. I mean, let's not that's the thing because Biggie loved Grape Soda. But he loved, of course he did. I mean, that's not about stereotypes. Nope, I didn't say that. So, but I got it from the source and then Tom is like, nah, I had to be jelly. What do you, I'm in, don't. Tom, that mind your business, Tom. This is what I do. Tom, you want to talk about race cars and Q-tips?

Yeah, this is what I do. Yeah, you want to talk about baseball cards, like a tie-carb and some shit like that. Yeah, I wouldn't even question you. No, why would you? But this is, I don't know. You want to talk about khakis and fucking quarter royals? I already knew it was grape soda just because of Biggie's age.

You had a question in James Taylor's lyrics. No, right? I don't even think, I don't even think tears from heaven is about his son. That's Eric Clapton. That's what I meant. Right. Wait, James Taylor and James Taylor. No, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, just telling. He's the Fulky guy. Fulky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like James Taylor. So get Segur though, you know, Segur is an interesting guy. Why? Dude, I mean, yes, he speaks. First boy, he speaks Spanish. He's Spanish. I didn't know his mom is Latino. He's Latin as mom is real Latino. Yeah. And he does something. He does shows in full Spanish. I've seen him. And big huge crowds. Yeah, I've seen him. Like this guy's famous in two different worlds. Yeah. And we don't even know about the, like he doesn't do a podcast in Spanish, so we don't see it. Now, and he's got, I mean, and he's such a sweet nice guy. Him and his wife are the nicest. Yeah. So sweet. Anyways, plug for cigar, but he doesn't know what the fuck he's

talking about. No, not when it comes now. No, he is a hip-hop head though. He's, is that a hip-hop head? I'm a hip-hop head. No, why? No, you're not a hip-hop head. I look like one when I wear you clothes. You know, you definitely. If I had one of your hoodies on, that guy wouldn't have fucked up. Right?

No, I wouldn't say, you want to go stab somebody together. I'm a sissy and I just like, adamant. Fuck it out. Are we got creashes for you? Ready for this? Chuckle fucker 808. Oh God. Somebody together. Yeah. I'm a sissy and I just like, Adam and fuck it up. Oh, we got crashes for you, ready for this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chuckle fucker 808. Oh, God.

Who are your top five rappers and comedians? Oh, God, I hate top fives. I hate this. Biggest number one. Biggest number one. Biggest number one. Biggest above a list. All right, so he's number one.

Yeah. Biggest number one. Andre 3000 from Outcast. Really? Is he making technology now? Does he have a job? He has all kinds of tech shitties doing. No, yes.

I don't know about that. I never heard that. Maybe I'm wrong. Go ahead. Um, Jayde-Kiss from the locks. Okay. He lives up by you. You should go visit him.

Where? Up in Yorkers. No shit. Yeah. I don't go there. Uh, Biggie Biggie. What I say, Biggie? You said Biggie. You said Andre. Andre.

Jayde kiss. Jayde kiss. Um, rappers. And when I say rappers, it's about like actual rappers. Eminem. Ah. Come on, the white boy. It's like, that's not going to do it white.

He said, I need a combination. It can't just be that you rap. I need the songs also. Doggy fresh. No. Okay. JZ's in there. JZ's for. JZ and then. One more.

One more. That's always tough. One more. Run DMC. I go, you know what? I go like Kill a Mike. Who the fuck? Kill a Mike.

You know where the jewels can I have a little, no, can you do me a favor? Yeah. Cause my kid's getting into hip hop. He's getting into two genres that I really like. Yeah. He's getting into hip hop and he's getting into like metal. Metal.

He loves like, he, and when he drums, so he has a double, he wants to, I gave him a double. Yeah. And what the two pedals, yeah, he loves metal. And he's in two bass shows, the two pedals. It's put two pedals on one drum on one drum two pedals Okay, it's called double pedals. Yeah, what okay your song a little bit. No, you got to go run the jewels what You know run the jewel song what the fuck is that run the jewels is a group that kill a mic is in will you make me a mix tape? Give me a list. I want a list I want to know. I want to get some songs.

I'll give you the song. I'll give you the song. Fat JC, ready? What fashion do you have for the comedians? Oh yeah, go ahead, comedians. Okay, I got Patrice. Louis. Okay.

Chappelle. All right. Chappelle. Look, I already. And and Rory Skolval. If I'm if Rory's on this list and I'm not on this, well, what is this? What is the list? It's your fucking top five comedians of all time. Go ahead, Rory Skolval. Rory Skolval.

Okay, go ahead. You get to be Kelly. Two more. Five trees. Yeah, one more. One more. Rory. Bobby Kelly. Okay, I'm four. You got two. Bobby Kelly. Two more. Five trees. Yeah, one more. One more. Rory. Bobby Kelly. Okay. I'm four. One more five. No, Rory. Patrice.

Patrice. Shepel. Oh, Shepel. Yeah. That's five. Rory. Now, you don't have to put me on. Who would you really put on? Go ahead. What did I say? That's a Patrice. How dare you even fucking answer that? That was a trick question. Oh, you're on this shit. You're on the. No, no. Who is it? Tell me. pretries. How dare you even fucking answer that? That was a trick question. You're on this shit.

No, no, who is it? Tell me, go ahead. No, who is it? You can pick somebody. I bought, you know, I bought live from the underground. Yeah, I was going, it's good. Which one's you like better? Which one's you like better?

Well, I like the kill box. Thanks buddy. But only because it's newer, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. All right, here we go. Ready? What fashion advice would you give a Bobby O'Kellie? You're still going down?

Yeah. You gotta go with just clean classics. What's that mean? Like polo shirts. I can't do polo. Why? I don't like polos. Well, black, black what?

T-shirts. Okay. Black jeans, okay. Keep it basic until you get to where you wanna be. Give me a wide shoe, that's cool. Why, you gotta go Jordans. Why can't you hook me up with fucking apes? No, I'm not there no more.

Get back. No, I'm the pandemic. Pandemic fucked it up. Fuck, dude, I want some apes. What's on you? I wear a 10 and a half wide. They don't do halves. Who?

Get me 11. Sneaker Colby. Get me 11. Yeah. Is it from England, right? Japan. Like I said, Japan, right? Yeah.

Don't correct me in my pocket. They're the halfs. I didn't correct you. I was adding on. I have a knife. All right, here we go. Why are the story working with little Kim? Oh, little Kim.

Yeah, two maps from Lou. Okay, give me a, we're in the fucking sticks. I used to DJ for little Kim in the late 90s, the late 1900s. We're in the sticks of South Carolina. So there's these two, the twins, they were from her neighborhood in Brooklyn, a soul drugs in South Carolina. So there's these two twins, they were from her neighborhood in Brooklyn, they sold drugs in South Carolina. So they wanted to do a show. A lot of drug dealers put on shows to clean up their money. Yeah. Make it, you know, lawn lawn lawn. Yeah. So you do this show. I mean, we're in the fucking boonie sticks. Some ghetto

fucking boony sticks some ghetto. Just country town but black, right? So we get there, we drive, we had a like 50 pasture van, we drive down there, I go set up the DJ shit, getting ready for the show. Little Kim's in the green room, the green room walks out onto the stage, right? So she's in the green room. So I'm waiting, I'm like,

waiting for her to come out to start the show, so she's not gonna go back there, she's flipping out. She's like, wait for her to come out to start the show. So she's not gonna go back there. She's flipping out. She's like, y'all motherfuckers don't have my money. What the fuck is the problem? Y'all motherfuckers, I gave you a discount. I'm down here. I drove, I flew all the way down here.

I'm down at your show. Where's the fucking money? And they're like, can we don't have, because they're like, waiting to get the money from the door. Right. But the party is like, there's a lot of people there, but it get the money from the door. But the party is like, there's a lot of people there, but it's technically a flop.

Like in a spot that holds 2,000, there's 200 people. Oh shit. Which is a flop. But in just 200 people still a lot of people. Sure, it's like a Joderosa show. So, so. Call the flop. So, they don't have the rest of the money.

Yeah. So she's like, I'm not performing and she's flipping out because she knows them. She fucking flips the table over. Right. All the money that they had on there, which was like a quarter of what it was supposed to be. She fucking flips the table over and she's like,

we're going, we're leaving. I'm all my records turn table. All that shit's across the club because the DJ move was on the other side. Oh, no So she said we leave it now So I go run to the fucking cuz they'll leave me. I know they'll leave me. Yeah, I go run to the DJ boob I started taking my needles off take my records the other DJ's like what's going on? I'm like, I don't know I don't know so she comes all out onto the stage

Mind you it's like you, two in the morning, people are ready for the show. The show shows, shows will be at midnight. Right. She walks out onto the stage. The crowd goes crazy thinking she's about to perform. And we just start walking off the stage. And I'm still on the other side of the room. And I hear, hey, yo, she hear, hey yo, she's leaving you. She's leaving. I'm like, oh no, then they fuck it.

So I'm trying to get through to get to the to my group. They start to all guns all coming out. It's the South like everyone. They put everyone pulls out guns. We get in the van and get down get down everybody down All windows pop Bullets you that you shooting at us The van fucking takes off goes over the curb we're fucking bouncing around

The all the windows out all of them Accepted windshield right fucking pop pop out Jesus yeah, man And that's not the first shootout we were in. My fucking God, I'm worried about getting stabbed by a fucking skinny Puerto Rican on the trial. All right, we got a couple more. Can you hang in there for this? Oh, we got two more.

You ready? She's got coffee bones, Mr. Sounds. How did your name come about? And would you be able to give Bobby clothing again as dressing himself has not worked out. What do you mean you look fine. He's being a fucking he's from England and they don't know how to they're humor is fucking stupid. I love dry humor. And here's his just awful though. Yeah.

It's roughly bones. Well, but I love it. He's from stupid name. He's from he's from Manchester, Manchester. I'm sure. Well manchester. What's your name? A manchester. I love that show from Manchester. Which one? The two women cops. You know, this good, my sight sound is this fucking comedian on his phone the whole time, like a shitty audience member. What do you mean? He's just on his phone.

You're in my view. Pay attention on the face. He's listening to the audio class. He's just on his phone. You're in my view. Pay attention on me. He's listening to the audio podcast. He's checking his stupid Instagram. When you listen to a podcast. When you listen to a podcast. If you come up to the show, and you're an audience member in my show, which is very rare,

you listen to the show. But you can't know has a part of his body. Listen's Scott and Bailey, that's it. Yeah, Max is good. When you listen to a podcast, you're on your phone doing other things, you don't stare. Look at me, phone. Look at me.

He's live. I don't want to look at his dumb fucking millennial asshole face on his stupid phone. Worrying about how many people liked him tonight. Well, how many liked him? Go sit over there if you want to get on your phone, your fucking asshole. You ever put up an Instagram and it doesn't do well all the time.

I'm down and go to put it up again and it gets the exact same amount of you all the time. Okay, this clip is worth 25 hundred views. It's me. Are you ready? Yeah. What do you think about me? What do you think about my job? I think I dress good now.

What you? Yeah, he's being a jackass. Yeah. All right. How did you think about me? What do you think about my drink? I think I dress good now. What, you're just good. He's being a jackass. All right, how did you get your name? Oh, Scythe sounds, it's a dumb. Just Scythe was a, it's a very 90s hip hop term. It means 360 degrees. So back in the 90s, we were all scientific and metaphorical and shit.

And like, that's why like when you rhyme and a Scythe for it's a circle, or when you smoke, they're like, oh, we're smoking in a cypher. It's cause it's a circle. So a cypher's like a circle and then I was like, oh, but sounds is like a DJ. You know what, you're right, it's gay. I just move on.

That's a gay thing I've ever heard. The name is destroying. It is. It's stupid. So I just changed it to Louis Diaz. Is that your name? Yeah. Only if you change it to Lewis J Diaz.

Hi J is from J we're going to first your pal as the DJ for show must have been W Y L D B. I don't know wild wild B. Yeah, most of it wild B. All right. So apparently he's trying to assimilate. Yeah, was he a Micro manager on the show like Jackie Gleason or more about letting you do your own thing. Did you have to type it like this? Finitically you piece of shit like Ruben of Simmons on jam. No, not a Micro manager. Very very much a type of guy that lets you do your own thing. But I wasn't on the, I was never in the sketches. I was just part of the part where he filmed the wraparounds, you know, where he would talk to the audience.

Right. So I was the DJ on that part, but he was always, he always lets you do your art. He shows you. That Chappelle has never, Chappelle has never given me a direction whatsoever. Really? Never. Never, Shepel has never given me a direction whatsoever. Really? Never. Of all the shows I've done with him, I've DJed for him, I've opened up for him, I've hosted his shows,

every, I ran the whole gambit. Sometimes it's just me and him. He's never said, you know, do 15, no jokes like this, play this, nothing. Nothing. Never. How's the scratch? this, nothing. Nothing. Never. How's the scratch? Oh, it's good. He pays you good.

It's good. It's not great. I don't think any of them pay you good. It's never great. Louis pays. Louis pays great. Louis. Louis pays great.

Louis hates me. Yeah, that's true. No, Louis doesn't like my comedy. What are you talking about? He doesn't. How do you know that? I know. I went on the road with him. And what happened? I did. Let me tell you what I went on the road with Louis. If he brought you on the road, that means he liked you. I think he likes me as a person. Right. I went on the road with Louis. I'll tell you exactly when the literally the week before we locked down. Yeah. Remember where he shot that special in a rush? Yeah.

I opened for that special. Okay. We did like six shows before a lot, huh? Did you get a Rolex? No. I mean, I get it wrong. I was waiting, but I'll tell you what he did. He did.

Like, remember, we would just get into the pandemic. Sure. He, I'm literally standing next to him when he's like, Hey, is there any way we could shoot this This weekend in DC because this world's about to shut down and all these producers running around trying to figure out how to shoot this and he did it Then we go into like the pandemic so we're like two months in three months in no money coming in and he sends me a fucking check He sent me, maybe three grand. You see.

From the special. Yeah. Like he gave everybody money. He gave me money too. Well, that, he sent, he called me up and said, listen, you need help. I was like, dude, it's bad. Yeah, I'm a millionaire, but when I,

I'll call you when I need it. That way you know I need it. But I don't want to pull that trigger yet. No, I gotta go do what I have to do, try to make money in my own. And then he sent me a check anyways. I didn't even want it. I wanted every sent me.

I wanted it all. No, I was sent me a check, I was like, it was an absolute honor to be on a row in Louis. The best, no, but it was. What, fuck was at me a check, I was like, it was an absolute honor to be on a roll with Louie. The best, no, but it was, what fuck, he didn't like me though. He does like you. From on a roll with me and Adrian Apollucci. Yeah, he's on a side watching her, falling over laughing. I'm on a stage, silence from the wings.

Right. Silence. Because Adrian, first of all, is miserable. And then she's watching your set. No, him. Oh, yeah. He was on the side. Oh, he was laughing at her.

At her, but not me. He's never used me again. Yeah, he does like you. Anyways, next question. You're absolutely right. You're fucking staying. Well, I love Louis though. Now, he's the bad.

I love Louis. Alan Hill. His cypher still doing shows with Will Sovents, where they both take the stage with each other that goes up after their set. So I had it. Soul Joe's last summer. Very cool. That's from. Oh, wow. You still doing that? Yeah. We do it every Wednesday. It's called the chemistry set at the comedy seller. We do every every Wednesday 1030. That show as soldiers was fucking empty. Really? So I respect that guy for saying that. Thank you. Thank you. It was fun show. But when you do is you go up with him and do what? We host together. We came up with the show during the pandemic. How do you understand? Well, no, I

don't understand. Well, that's why it's so funny. Okay, we go on stage together. We bring up a comic you should call it. What did he say? Oh guess what the Haitian just says. Oh my god. Yeah, it's fucking it's fun, but he is. Yeah, he's We did a podcast called talk clearly or where we know it's on our network. I couldn't right there. The things right couldn't do it anymore. Why? Because we beat the joke to death of will not be able to say certain words. Don't you do it once a month? Do it once a month? Yes.

All right, we'll do once a month. Max now he's a good producer, he'll produce it. Yeah, because we would beat the same joke. Yeah, of course. Well, he can't speak. He has mush mouth. Yeah. You also wore a mask every episode.

Yeah, what's up with that? Oh, I don't know. What's he wearing? Listen, I see people with masks on episode. Yeah, what's up with that? Oh, I'm a little... What's he wearing? Listen, I see people with masks on now. No, no, no. Unless you're 90, I think you're fucking crazy. Yo, I respect the people. You know, there was always those people, the Asians,

that wore a mask on a plane when they were sick. Yeah. But before the pandemic, sure. Like, they were like, oh, I'm sick. And where the ones who went? Look at this. I've been to Japan like 20 times. Yeah.

If they're sick, they wear the mask to be considered. Right. I respect that in Japan like 20 times. Yeah. If they're sick, they wear the mask to be considered. Right. I respect that. Or on a plane. Will wears was wearing some kind of fucking gas mask. Yeah. So kind of with filters and holes in it. And then and then would wear one of those like, is that almost like a turtle neck that

comes up? Yeah, it's a hunting thing. Yeah, he would put it over the gas mask. Right. Sometimes he would come in here with a bike helmet on. There's something mentally wrong with him. And it's bike helmet sunglasses, gas mask and hunters mask. And keep it on.

And not address it. Yep, not like I'm like, what's up with the like, why the helmet? Yeah, what did he say? I don't, I don't like the way I look. Well, neither we, we don't want you to cover it. I like you don't like the way you look on a podcast. What you go on stage with no mask. He's still wears it. It's, I saw the other night. It's inferior. I don't, he should be put away. Maybe he has something and doesn't want to spread. What? I don't know what to do. I don't know. I put away. Maybe he has something and doesn't want to spread what? I don't know what to do. He has.

I don't know. I told him to say he was in a sanitarium. He's I'm I say, he said sanitarium. I said, I told you to say, what the fuck? What do we be before? I listen, dude, I'm going to wrap this up. Side you gotta go. You got a, you got a great show on from 10 in the morning to two in the afternoon on 90 for point, point seven, the block,

the block. Yeah. Thank you. Go check it out and make sure you go to my website, robocatolive.com. I'm all over the place. I'm at Boston with Ron Bennington this week. Ooh. Yeah, it's going to be worth the majestic theater.

Get your tickets now. I'm in Cincinnati. I'm in Columbus. I'm in Columbus. I'm hanging out with, of course, with, I think Eric is coming on that, right? Eric and Aaron Putnam are going to be doing those little road tours we do to calm. We're all over the fucking place. Go to robbercatchlive.com, check out all my dates and make sure you get, check out Killbox, the audio version and the actual video versions on LouisCK.com and Apple and all that stuff. If you want just the audio and comicwearables.com, you want all YKWD

gear, go there, use co-work ladybugs. And where's your website, my friend? My website sucks. It's just sitevisounds.com. That's good. Way to promote that. It's not, I don't have none there. Well, you should. What's the fucking, I'm fucking up. All right, you are fucking. What does that one have a go down? What do you want? What do you want? Tell me what you want.

What down little, why does that one hat have, look different than all the other pictures? Because it's different and it's not my hat. What does it say? Who's hat is that? Oh, that's the, that's the Skagfest hat. Oh, that's a good hat. Yeah, that's a good hat.

You want one? No, no, no. Okay, thanks. I'd rather have a, what, you know what, dude. I rather What you know what dude? What you know what dude. All right, I'll give you one I mean you got one. I'll get you whatever you want guys. Give you plugs, please fast max Marcus comedy jokes Russell on Instagram and the cheese show on YouTube Who's all these guys at Danny breath?

That's a three tizzy's man. Why are they doing that? And the plug's gotta go in the beginning of the middle. Dude, don't mind listening this far. This is the three tizzy's. Once I said Louis doesn't like me, they go, why are we listening? No, they didn't. They're listening right now because they know the three tizzy's are dead.

Oh tizzy's. Look at them. Which one's autistic? Which one has weird hair and which one's autistic? Oh shit. What? Why it's way different? The pitch that has a sketch and you just burned it as a stupid throwaway. Wait, why do you got Danny? We're gonna have a sketch. The sketch would have been better.

We're gonna do it. Danny up here. Why do I have that? I like guys with hairy knees and arms. That's why. It looks like he's wearing jeans. I fucked with Danny. What do you mean you fucked with him? No, I fucked with him. That's's a good thing We had sex many times. No, not I fuck Danny. You said you fucked him. No, I fucks with him What's the fuck? He put money in my pocket during the pandemic. What do you do? It just shows with him He's a great show in Jersey. I love Danny Yeah, Danny is the best and that's jokes rostle over there. Who's he do? He's a dirty. He does everything videos Editor, he's the best. That's killing it.

You have to shit. This, yeah, but they're all autistic and fucking weird. They can only feel like like Joe's awesome on everything, like video and stuff like that. But then he has the common sense of a fucking 92 year old Jewish lady. He knows nothing. Like I saw him trying to open a door once. He didn't know what to do. He said pull, he he was like, huh?

What? You know what I'm saying? But he could take a part of MoPet and do it and in a video, really good. And then you got, you got fucking Tizzy, Tizzy won over here. The number one Tizzy. You got autistic Dan Boy, who's awesome at videos, very funny. And in a big piece, he got a big, big, big question, though. And then you got little Max, who, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big So most is not autistic. He lets us know that he's just a mass murderer of women. He's killed

women. But if you look and then Eric over here who I yelled at, he is a funny young comedian, just move to the city does video editing Chicago. So you, so you only put people down with you that do can also do video editing. You gotta have something to bring this up. You smart. You think I'm hiring these. Remember back in the day for the jokes. Remember back in, I know we got to go. Remember back in the day for their jokes? Remember back in, I know we gotta go. Remember back in the day when a comic wanted to try to get on here. And be like, hey, I'll drive. Yeah, that's the new version of I'll drive.

Yeah, do some videos. I'll do a fucking Instagram reel. Then we got Aaron over there. Aaron Putnam, who's sitting like he fucking owns a place which is bothering me since he's sad. He's sitting like Andrew Schulte. Ah, sucka, bugs me. Oh, him and his raspy voice.

What does he do? What does he stand up comedian and then he produces tours? Oh, fuck, it's great man. Yeah, good tours. He does great tours. What, man? I mean, I got a lot of good people in my life. I don't got shit.

I'm very, and that's Mo right there. That's my friend Mo. Right there, look at Mo. I don't know Mo. Yeah, that's Mo. Yeah, where did we meet again? Skankfest? Oh, Aaron Schulte. He does, he Yeah, it's Mo. Yeah, where did we meet again? It's Gangfess.

He does, he's a rep for Tatooayee, one of my favorite cigars. Ooh, yeah. So there you go. All right, well, now you know, dude. See you guys next week on You Know What, Dad. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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