Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Colin Quinn | Reach

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

This week we've got Colin Quin joining Bobby as we get into why he couldn't come into studio, why Bob Dylan is a jerk, get a vocabulary lesson from Rich Vos, and what really makes a bully in todays world! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos lia. Un lumena que de mao, a Madrid.

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You're ruining this We're the poor man I'm sorry Thank you for having me podcast This is an NPR That's what the podcast does Is there any better show? This is the original

The original And where here we are and Colin is out of his frame. And who is that? Me. From when? Oh, about two years ago. Yeah, two years ago. I want to know who's creepy fingers around you, Nick. Who's funny Irish fingers around you?

My friend Lou, who died. Oh, okay. Well, there you go. That helped. That brings it right down. Welcome, everybody. You know what, dude? Podcasts.

We are streaming. We have the studio, we're back in the studio, but for this very special episode, we have to do Streamyard because this man has low T cells and apparently gets COVID anywhere he goes other than his house, the theater, and nine bakeries near his house. He can't, he's not allowed to do podcasts anymore. Is that correct? That is correct. I, although I did have to go to Boston Sports yesterday

and I felt like I may have gotten COVID from that place. They need to clean up a little bit. You went to Boston. Yeah. You went to Boston, who's showed you KC? KC, yeah. Good guy, like, very funny. Yep. So you, wait a minute, you went to Barstool.

Right. Hang on, which is an open building, everybody's everywhere, not everybody's vaccinated. No. It's just everywhere, I mean, it's all over the fucking place in there. How do you know not everyone's, but they're all vaccinated there? And then I go, I mean, it's all over the fucking place in there. How do you know not everyone's about to do all vaccinated there? And then I go, you go in the comedy cell, where you can't even walk in the building without

being vaccinated. Everything's clean every day into the studio with just me and you. I have to do this like this, like you're in prison, and I'm doing a CNN report, but, but, but so what fame is a motherfucker. Fame and power is a mother of fame. It's power. It's power. What do you call it reach? Well, well, fuck you and you reach.

I'm your friend. What about a hug? What about a hug? Let me, let me tell you something. You know, I hate podcasts. I've done my disloyalty is maybe do this podcast like 15 times. I debuts those words once. No, it's not. Listen, you can't, we can't go back. This is, this is why you're like, you have the blood of a Sicilian because you're

art, you, as soon as an argument comes up you're into it You already have your fucking your whole plan ready to go listen to me. So you're not I like that you position yourself was like hey you guys get hot under the collar me I just like to relax and live life like it But I'm saying is that let's get get to the, let's get to the, I want to fucking deal with this. Why? I want to fucking deal with fame. I want to talk about fame.

I want to talk about you call it reach. But well, in this case, it's not because they're famous. I don't know why it's so split. It's because they have reach. So my, my publicists said, listen, I think you should just do this. Go in there, I go, I can't, you know me, I hate doing all podcast.

I told them yesterday that I always tell you how I hate doing podcast, didn't I mean? And so I was like, oh, school, I didn't realize it was a hotbed of viruses in there. I made that up. I said that just to twist you. Just to win the argument. I lied to win the argument.

But that's a good thing about me is I will admit my lies. That's good. That is good. How many people want? I will admit it. Pretty almost awkwardly soon. Yeah. I was pretty early, but it was good.

It was a Mubby Too early in the podcast itself. But I mean, it really is. It was a Mubby-Tool early in the podcast itself. But I mean, it really is. It's funny because, you know, did you tell you a publicist you were doing this show? Yeah. What'd she say about this show? Nothing. She said, oh, yeah, you and Bobby Kelly. Oh, so I'm like a cousin.

Oh, yeah, your cousin, Mike. Good guy. So I'm like a cousin. Oh yeah, your cousin Mike. Oh, good guy. Anyways, going down and getting risk COVID with fucking Casey and the Sunshine Band. Maybe you go over the list of things I've turned it down. What is that?

Doing this publicity run. Okay, let's go over that list. I can't. It's too, you know what I mean? Yeah. Then I'm pissing them off twice. When I turn them down, and then when I'm breaking you about turning them all down. I don't want to go. You had a fun time yesterday because that's a fun podcast.

Yeah, it was fun. Here's that podcast you think, this is going to be uncomfortable or they're going to hit me with a stat. Hey, who pitched for the Red Sox in 1978? And it's like, but it was, it's KC is that podcast is so fucking goes by so fast. Bill Barnes Apollo would have known that by the way, who pitch for the Red Sox in 1878. Yeah, Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe, brother, Mike Lowe, Rob Lowe lay the pitch for the red socks in the uh, uh, 90s, uh,

in the uh, 2000, I know exactly. I hate stats people. Yeah. I do. But you're, you're a stats guy. What? You're a stats guy. I am. You're a stats guy with other shit, not sports. What, what are the stats? What would the stats? What are the movie sayings? But those are in stats. It's the same genre. It's the same thing. It's the same vein. What, you mean?

You're saying you hate people that retain information. Yes, yes, I think I am. I think if you want to bring am. I think if you want to Listen, what did you admit? I solve all your problems like last week, last time I was on I I solved the fact it's not that you hate Bob Dylan. It's just you hate all the people at love Because I kind of hate them too. I don't like them. I know I will I will not Bob Dylan a chance because of the people that fucking fawn over him. You must be happy that Bob Dylan got a little jammed up. Apparently he might have been, you know, a bit of a child molester back when he was young, you know.

Are you kidding me? Well, somebody boarded it up from 65 there's a long time ago, but she said when she was like 15, he was a perv tour and you know, you can kind of see he's got that advice. It's like, you know, like a lot of, I feel like a lot of Chummers have that weird legs. But how old was he that matters? If he was, she was, but she was young, she was young, I forget how young she was, If he was young, you were like, whoa, even during the Rocky era, even during the 60s, when the whole rules were different. That was a big one. That was like, some of them just stand out. Oh, 12, yeah, 12. Yeah. But if if he was 13 that's not really No, I don't know how you know if he's if he's an adult that's terrible. Yeah, he's had me in his 20 He was 23. Oh, yeah, that's no good. Yeah. I mean, look kids kids explore each other

You know, I had sex with a 14 year old when I was You know, I mean, I mean am I I gonna fucking call, you know, whatever. That's just trying to figure out sex, especially. You ever told him since then? What's that? Have you ever told to him since then? It wasn't a him, it was a her. My name is Tawny, she was Milado,

and she was the love of my life. Tawny, I like that. And then I found out Dickie's soul, fucked her in front of the rectory. Oh, when my grandma was working there, that day in fucked her in front of the rectory. Oh. When my grandma was working there, that day in the bushes in front. Last for me.

Yeah, blast for me and Dickie, good for me. I'd do it. I won't let you know she's a whore. Why? Last for him too. Yeah. All right, much. Thank you very much. Wow. Yeah.

So I had to dump my love of my life because she banged my best friend, Dickie's soul. Yeah. So I had to dump my love of my life because she banged my best friend, Diggy Swarth. Yeah. Yeah, dude, listen. 23 and 12. That's just a holy shit. That's, that's, see, the certain stories, even in the wild times when people have a sex at 15,

60s, 60s, or better, people are crazy. Just think about it. Here's the 50s that we've tried to control themselves. They went, but the story that stands out still was Mackenzie Phillips fucking a father for like a year. John Phillips. I'm sorry. From fucking one day at a time. Yeah. And a father was from the Mamas and the Poppers, which was like this happy band. Hey, in fact, I think I've sent you a couple of, I think I've sent you a couple of mom's and pop songs. God of feeling that I'm wasting time. I did that time for Melia.

Yeah, people don't know this that you relentlessly, I think is the word to use. It's send me songs. You text me songs. At all hours of the day, I will get a song from you that infuriates me. No matter what you're moody is when you get that song. I am doubly, I mean, I get mad or I get mad or yes. Yeah. For years now, I think you've done it. Yeah, through the pandemic, at least. Yes, definitely through the pandemic. Yeah.

Yeah. And Mama's in the poppers, I didn't know he fucking... And that's what it is. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Well, she talked about it. It's lucky it happened and like the night, even when she boarded out, everyone was like,

whoa, but if it had been today, it would have been like, you know, a psychotic. Right. What happened? Is he still alive or he's going to be dead? No, I think he's dead. He's dead. So, wow. And Dylan, what's Dylan going to do? Write a song about it. She was only 12. I was 23, but it didn't matter that much to me. Hey, what about it?

The um, yeah, I mean, that was pretty good. Goddamn. Good. That was funny. But I mean, yeah, it mean that was pretty goddamn good. That was funny, but I mean Yeah, it's you know, but he always seems kind of straight. You know when you go to the cellar as you know Yeah, when when I first started going there in the 80s, some of man he's regular and it's still a couple by the way One yelled at me and moody the other day. I'll tell you about that. And then with some of these old regulars would come in and they'd be like, yeah, Bob Dylan was a scum egg. He was a prick. And uh, and there was just telling you these stories how he used to like just be a dick to everybody and hit the whimmy, hit his girlfriends. And then um, and Manny goes, yes, they wanted Bob Dylan to work here. And I didn't like his music. And everyone's like, what, Manny, I remember being at the table.

I was like, what? And you know what? I still don't like it. So I didn't care. Yeah. You're the only guy that didn't book Bob Dylan. Yeah, he's got taste. You know, he's got taste.

Let me just hang on. Hang on. Hush! He's got taste. Let me just hang on. Hey, go. Oh, yeah. I like that. Yeah, I try to do Kung Fu and it's my cheer.

I like it to come out. Yeah, he was, his songs were poems. I mean, if you, there was one song I heard the other day, I forget what movie it was. And it was just like, you know, I went down the street and had a nice cream. And saw a boy and he smiled at me. And I said, the sun comes down on Wednesday. It's like, who gives a shit? Well, I don't know if I can get that far, but I mean, I would say that there's some ludicrous interpreters. One of the most insane tone deaf things was that movie with Michelle Fyfer, a dangerous mice where she's an ex-Marine. She's a Marine.

She loves Bob Dylan already a Marine loves Bob Dylan is already a little strange. She goes into the hood, holds glasses black and she breaks through to them with Bob Dylan lyrics They might say maybe we said in 1963 no it was set when they have like a thousand hip-hop artists that they connect with and she's in there like I'll break through forget about Bob Dylan and somehow she broke through that was that was most somehow she broke through that was that was the most infuriating thing ever seen. Then she have to fight one of them too or something like that. Yes, she did.

She can fight. Yeah. Meal skills. And I mean, and like she's not exactly like a big sturdy character. Yeah. Yeah. If she'd reached in a bag and just took a gun out, I would have said,

all right, good. She'll shoot you. But she was like, could have wrist lock on like, you know, come to this like six, seven, two, four, you know. Yeah, that movie was fucking ridiculous. There was a lot of, there was a bunch of movies in that time where it was a teacher making a difference Yeah, there was the only one that really made sense was Who was it? Who's a black dude who just beat the shit out of the kids with a bat? Well, that was the only one who's a true story Morgan Freeman and Freeman yeah, and You know lean on, lean on me.

Lean on me. That one made sense. Yes. That was a consortium. Patterson. Well, Luke Gassett, the reason I said Luke Gassett is not because I'm a racist and they all look alike. I say, look, it's because he was with John Belushi in the principal. He was the janitor. You call me a racist. They've a movie about an inner city school and they make him play the janitor. me a racist, they've a movie about it in a city school and they make him play the channel. Little Gassard, who wanted to be a war on Jim Belushi's the principal. What did he want to be an academy award for? Officer General.

He wanted to be an academy award for that? I was hoping you'd just move along because I could be wrong. I was hoping. You know, you can lie the first time and you go, what do you want to carry me with for? Or was it a gentleman and you go, he wouldn't carry me with that and now I'm under scrutiny. Now my lie can't be mistaken for like, I didn't hear you cracker. I said he was yes mush Looking it up right now. Sorry. Sorry. I'm using these red It was 1982 mush since I'm the master of statistics as bought you know, well, you're not a master's statistics But you are you know, I mean let's be honest the last four specials were about historical events Yeah, you're right about Things that most people don't know

Yeah, you're right about things that most people don't know Yeah, you were correct call and it wasn't officer in the gentleman Most do me a favor go use some affron Nobody likes a stuff knows mush, but nobody wants a stuff knows on a microphone on a hot mic Anyways, yeah, you you You have a new thing out right now Yeah, it's coming out. I Don't know again. I don't understand what it is. You've never really told me about it

We've never really talked about it. Well, we've discussed all the specials a lot. Like, you obsessed with my real love of my life, my special I want to do about assholes. And bully, right, the whole thing about what's bully it, you know, that whole category. I still haven't done that one. I've done it, but I've never pulled it. I tell you, that's the one I think that would be is fucking almost needed. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I had to think today where fucking it bothers me too. Can I, I'll be honest with you.

Like, I know what a bully is. I've been bullied. Sure. Now, if you talk, stern to somebody you're a bully. Like, I've always thought a bully was somebody who grabbed you by your neck and told you to do something you had to do it. Or it made fun of you and it asked him to stop

and he said, fuck you and kept doing it. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I guess there's certain types of bullies. There's all kinds of bullies. There's all kinds of bullies. Like if you, I was doing this thing about what civilization is, civilization used to be,

you know, strongest survived and a kill you. Civilization means somebody who's Fiber just shorter than you and Doesn't have a muscle in his body can yell at you and you have to take it because he's your supervisor at work So that made you do it all depends there's different types of bullies, you know I mean that made me angry just that scenario that fake scenario. Yeah that made me angry just that scenario that fake scenario. Yeah, but it's the truth. And so that's what you would that shows about that shows about the different ways of bullying.

Right. I mean, cyber bullying cyber bullying, intellectual bullying, physical bullying, you know, woke bullying, all bullying, all of it. But that's my, this show has some of that laid in it, but it's really about, this is more about like, what social media has made us into personality-wise. Really, that's sort of what this is.

I think it's, to me, as a recovering alcoholic alcoholic trying to keep a shit together every day. Having this social media in my life makes it 10 times as hard as it used to be because you know, you want to be grateful. You don't want to be envious. You don't want to be frustrated. You don't want to be envious. You don't want to be frustrated. You don't want to have all these fucked up feelings. As soon as you go on social media, oh, look at that.

And then how did she get that? Oh, he's got a special. Oh, he's, look at that photo with his sold out craft. I was just there. I didn't, why don't they wear, it's just you inspire a lot of control. And then, never mind the shit that's going on, you know, with people trying to shut people up and everybody, this one is wants to be a woman,

this one's a horse, you got to call me this, and you can't say that and all the stuff, it's, it's so depressing, man. It's so sad. I told my wife, yes, although if you see me with my phone for more than 10 minutes looking at it, take it away from me. Yeah. Well, I, um, one of the jokes on my show is about how 15 years ago, if you wanted to go on the internet, you had to go to a cafe, drive to a cafe

and buy a cup of coffee and a muffin, to be on the internet. And if you were there for 20 minutes, people start looking at you like, what kind of a pervert, what business you have being on the internet more than 20 minutes. Yeah, you were a terrorist or your people file. You know, what's that? You're a terrorist or you're a pedophile if you are exactly, exactly. Yeah, I was trying to get a glance of his screen. Yeah, because it's unnatural that we should be on the internet for this many hours at that.

I look at my thing and it goes, how long? It's like seven hours. This is, my neck started hurting, Quinn. Cause I'm doing this and then all of a sudden, I went like this, I was like,

oh my God, I just had my head down like a hooker for a fucking hour, just looking at Facebook videos, little tiny videos of other people's lives or boat crashes or waves or a monkey or how to make a stake. It just goes on and on and on and you can't pull out of it. You can't. It's fascinating, you know. But it's terrible. It's terrible. It's fucking really bad. Yeah, because the bad part is not those videos. Those are the good part. I think you know, you're watching other lives. You're watching you're in

Venice Italy or you know, I mean you're in You know, central American jungle, but it's the other I don't think that I don't think that that's good either because here's the deal When you want to go to Venice Italy, you'd find a way to go to Venice Italy and enjoy it now You don't have to go you can just eat you'd find a way to go to Venice Italy and enjoy it. Now you don't have to go. You can just eat corn chips and salsa on your couch and watch other people that went. No, I agree. I mean, I just think it's tough. I'm the guy that just flipped his opinion.

I agree. Why you want to watch it instead of experience it makes no sense. Well, I'm just saying like, you know, most people like a lot of kids, we've lived both lives. We've lived, we're very, and we're gone. We're a whole generation of this is going where we've lived both. generation of this is going where we've lived both. We've had no internet, no no technology. We rode bikes, we played at parks, and we did illegal shit and tried not to get arrested. And now video games, internet, iPhones, social media, we've had both. We've lived in both of those. And I don't know. It seems to I'm I miss. I feel like this is sucks. The other day I was in my backyard. And I'm sitting

there and the leaves are coming down. It's warm out. But just a little chill. I had a fire going that was blazing in my solo stove. The kids had just made pumpkins, jackalandkins sitting there with flames in them. Dom was cooking dinner. You know, I could smell it. And I was looking around and I was like, this is so beautiful. And I took a video of it and put it on Instagram. And I was like, why did I have to share that? Right. Right. What is that? Right. What is that? Yeah. Like, why? Why can't I own that and have it and let it go in my brain? Like, why? To share that? Yeah. I mean, I feel like sharing it. Well, it's the same as when people tell you a story. It makes it last in a different way.

You know what I mean? It's just human instinct to be like, hey, this is beautiful. I'm gonna show people, you know, and they'll be like, that's beautiful. What a night. And then of course, most people, fuck you. I hope those leaves catch them fire. I'm throwing you down. I hope you put your hand in the stove you fucking asshole

Everybody's got to weigh in on everything That's that's the fucked up part about all this is that you put you have the desire Everybody has a desire to be, you know, iPhone has put a literal insane photo, video, camera in your hand, and they've given you these apps that made it idiot proof to make little short films of your life. And then we all think that we're fucking soda burgo, ansel atoms, and we have to put that out there to get, I've seen people go, hey, thanks guys for, and there's like two likes.

Like I saw people talking on videos, and they're like, you guys, you know, they're talking to these people, and there's three people in their video chat, and they're talking to them like there's thousands. Yeah. And it's, I'm like, I don't know, I don't fucking get it. I don't know what the, it's not, I'm not saying I'm, I'm fucking out of it. I'm in it.

Like the other day, I, what is that thing that makes me have to fucking, like what a Keith called, clout chasing. Right. Yeah. No, it's, it's really an insane, it's a crazy, crazy thing. And what was it before the internet? What did we do before? We just, everyone lived separately.

You know what I mean? No. Everyone lived, everyone lived separately. You had no idea. People would come back for vacation and tell you, you know, I was in Utah. So you know these moments, yeah, I've seen pictures in the magazine. Well, they have this thing, this underwear thing, you better get out of here. And then they tell you that story, and then we can't be in the back of your mind for a few years.

And that would be the end of it. Yeah. And you'd use that as fucking conversation pieces. And people would even, if somebody went somewhere, they wouldn't even tell you over the phone. I remember my sister went to school in Binghamton, New York, and we drove her on the phone. What's it like? She's like, I'll tell you when I get back.

And then they have to tell you the story. These people that live in the country and they do this and they go out, you know what I mean? Because they go to these truck things. They have, I remember somebody telling me about cow tipping. And I was like, what? And they go, they tip over cows.

Now I could probably look, I could probably see a thousand cows get tipped over in the next five minutes, you know? Yeah, you probably can see a thousand cows. You can see a cow gets slaughtered now. Yeah, it's right. Well, I watch my first thing that I loved about YouTube was rat videos. All the rats, I just love them. You know what I mean? Why? I don't know, but I used to love to look at rats, like around the corner of the cellar, by the McDonald's, it's closed down. Yeah.

Between the McDonald's and the park, I would go with all the car, I would take any comedian, Joe Yanetti probably won't win me. I'd take them to go, let's go look at the rats's and the park, I would go with all the car. I would take any comedian, Joe Yenetti probably won't win me. I'd take them and go, let's go look at the rats and I'd go, what? And you'd go to this, because they love little tunnels, like they love, you know, those things. They live under the brush there. Yeah, and they love the narrow, they love to go through narrow passageways. And we go between the tunnels and they love the tunnels.

So between the tunnels and that little park, you see hundreds of them just running back. It was the most horrifying, but you couldn't stop watching. I was standing for like an hour at like two in the morning watching these rats go back and forth. And now you watch one video and it's not the same thing, you know. It's, but it's all like here's a weird thing is last night. We're at the dinner table and We're talking about I got my leases up and we're talking about and you know get a new car within seconds. I had Fuckin' every Ford What that thing and it was like it's done like I know exactly the car I'm getting

I know exactly how much I want to pay for it. And it's done. Where before going through, I remember going to a car dealership with such anxiety, because I know that I was about to be raped. I was going to come home with a car I didn't even want. And they were going to get me because I'm a weak person inside and I don't know how to fucking like I'm a I'm a tough guy when you make me angry. When you're being nice to me and you're manipulating me, I kind of fucking turns me on. Right, right.

Yeah, there's something about that. And they probably know, those guys probably know the different types that we are. Yeah. Oh, this guy wants me to go, I'm an asshole. Oh, this guy wants me to go, they're assholes. So this guy wants me to go I'm an asshole. Oh this guy wants me to go their assholes So this guy wants me to go hey, you're cool. This guy wants me to get a you're buying this They probably could figure it all out after a while, you know like any job But they must hate they those guys hate it

You know, yeah, they hate the fact that everybody comes in hey, I know what I'm talking about now. They better readjust their whole life and you don't even to buy it for now. And doctors hate it, I know that. Because every doctor, when people walk in, they're like, you know, I get this pain. I looked it up, Mayo Clinic says it's this. It could be that, and then just sitting there

and feeling like, fuck you. Yeah, it's really funny. Dude, I was in with my doctor and he went on Google. I go, I swear to God, he went on Google. I told him on my foot, he wrote, foot, pain, ligament. And he just started reading Google. I'm like, I could do that.

Yes. Give me a new jacket. At least, at least the days just invited me to go hold on with the text of just invited me to go home on the other text of my wife. You know who else hates it is the mafia. Oh yeah, they can't do nothing. Because every one of them is on fucking on the internet telling stories.

Yeah, they all have podcasts. They all have podcasts. ¿Cómo fue? ¿Ella es podcast? No hay podcast, m-mob guys es podcast. Es increíble que todos los excepto un hombre tiene podcast. ¿Y qué? ¡Y eso! ¡Y yo no sé cómo ha hecho esto! Pero ha hecho esto. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volote it. Yeah. And people still comment on the Robert Kelly and sometimes Colin Quinn. I just had another other day. Someone listened to all, I think it was 11 hours of us.

Right. I'm doing it. But yeah, you've, you've, you've kept away from it. Good to you. God bless you. It's just not into it. Not, you know. Not only radio, I was over radio shows back in the day.

I just don't like it. Yeah. Honestly, I don't even like, even when I did a weekend update, I didn't like doing it. You look like weekend update. You're so good at weekend update. That's that. That wasn't the consensus, but thank you.

But I don't like that kind of stuff. What do you mean, what was the consensus that you? Oh, you're early internet days. Here's what was funny. The internet just started. It was like chat rooms, but it was like before, like early chat rooms. Yeah, well, yeah, I remember instant messenger head chat rooms.

Yes. Yeah, you're going romance, 18 plus, yeah, all that shit, yeah. And one of them was That fat face sucks at weekend updates and then it was the first like I got it early on I remember telling Patrice and Nick and those guys on top crowd like you guys are soft because I had already experienced Just the abuse of the internet by 98 99 that's crazy He's fat. He stinks all still. And then by the time Tucker, people hate us, I was like, tough it up because I was so used to it from that. But it was, oh, yeah, they killed me. They killed me. Really? And it's not hard to do.

I'll be true. Those days because it was like unique. And then, of course, the people in shorts start reading that stuff. you know what I mean? That was your early days and they take it seriously. They still fucking read it and take it seriously They still take it seriously. They still take it seriously. I went into an audition I forget for I think it was for UFC something. Yeah for a show on Spike yeah, and I walked in them everyone's on their phones. I was like, I go, what the, hey guys, I'm here. Can you get off your phone? They were like, oh, we're just looking at you on the internet.

They were looking at all my social media. Oh my God, it's horrible. That's horrible. It's the way it is. And you can't even go, get off your phone because there you have C guys. You can go, hey, get off that phone and fucking pay attention to me. Because they'll be like, oh, you want me to pay attention? On the rest of the phone, they UFC guys you can go hey get off that phone and fucking pay attention to me

Because they'll be like oh you want to pay attention on the rest of them film this guy putting in a goddamn rear naked chokehold Yeah, dude, that's the way it is now dude. Yeah, it is. I mean eat look at it's it's funny too because they had the We're talking about this yesterday They had the Dave Chappelle. Yeah, and then they had the walkout. had Chappelle's answer to them. And then they went back and found stuff on the trans woman that put the walkout together. A bunch of racist tweets towards Asians. It was like, you know, just her smashing, I just smashed my phone over those Asian bitches head,

you know, I mean, just her being a homophobic and racist. Right, right. And all her tweets. So you, I don't think there's anybody alive who isn't caught out there somewhere. That's right, That's right. That's right. Because we're all fucked up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's really insane. It's insane that this is what it comes to though. You want to, you know, I mean, everything's on record forever. It's the craziest society. I mean, yeah, wait, I mean, it's out there forever. You, I think there's gonna be this companies

that you can pay like thousands to just go wipe you clean. There are, but they do that all the time, but they can't wipe you clean. Why? Because there's always somebody in some small town that recorded it somewhere, you know what I mean? There's some piece of shit in fucking Syracuse. Yeah.

Everything ever said on Opie and Anthony by all of us. I have to rise in by our name. So I don't even bother with that stuff because I'm like it's all there, you know what I mean? It doesn't. Tough crowd was crazy. It's so funny because uh, oh yeah, but it's funny because the um oh When I was shooting that stuff last week. I was shooting that thing last week. I was like this is such an old-fashioned thing to be doing You know what I mean? Can you explain what you're doing? Yeah, so shooting uh

So over the pandemic I started writing these monologues. And I'm always, you know, better than anybody because you read my, my stuff over the years. And I'm always like, Hey, I think this is getting made. And I'm always like, Oh, and then you know, I mean, yeah, this is it. And then, yeah, it falls apart. But, uh, and it's funny because I've never cracked up for it. It's never, it's never made me insane, but a little piece just hardens in you every time.

So eventually you end up with that bitter laugh that like, you know, you're one twice divorced aunt had with their like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, when they go, I think I'm in love. Ha ha ha ha. They taught us like 19. Why are you laughing at me? That's how you get.

But so anyway, so I started writing these monologues. And I was like, you know, I'm obsessed with people in a certain way. So I wrote like 30 of them. So then this guy, Benny Piazza, the actor from Board of Ackempite, local Luciano, he reads and he goes, we should do these, you know. And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, which everybody says, you know, he goes, listen, I'll get the crew as I'm sure, sure. He puts together this crew of people, he puts together all the locations,

he turns it to a producer, starts putting down all this pre-production stuff. Put it all together. So, so me and him put up the money. You know, it wasn't that much money. And he got the DP, he got all the lighting, the sound, all people he knows, all doing it for almost nothing. That's what I was thinking about this last week, remember to remember how enthusiastic everybody in show business, everybody in show business except two people have a shit attitude, comedians and musicians. Yes.

Musicians pretend they don't have a shit attitude, at least we admit we have a shitty attitude. Yeah, we're just shitty, yes. Actors are the friendliest and screen screen writers have a shit out of two two writers have a shitty attitude. Yeah, right? Well, cuz writers think they're better than everybody Yeah, writers, comedians and musicians actors These people and these camera people all the light all the

You know production people they're all just like, we love this. We love this. So Vinny and Catherine Roducci, who is the greatest. Oh my God. Her stories alone could be like five movies, just a child of law. She's Thomas Suresvon, she was seven. I was crying with laughter, they were so great.

And who is that? Oh, she was in the Bronx Tale. She was the wife in the Bronx Tale. And she was Arty Bukko's wife on Sprano's. Show me. My favorite. Yes, I sure do. Yes, text.

She was the print. What did she say? Oh. Oh, really? I mean, she was the prettiest on out say oh oh really she I mean she was the prettiest on out of all the sopranos why there was a beautiful richie's wife right was it rich you know what was the there was a Christopher's wife was of course beautiful I liked her better than Christopher's wife Adriana yeah she was she and then and then who's the first boss that died from cancer?

I can't remember his name. His wife was hot too. Remember something junior Jackie Aprilio Jackie's wife Jackie Aprilio's wife. She was hot when she was on. She was on the whole thing. She was coming out. They went to Paris together. Oh, yeah, she was hot. Yeah, she was hot, but number one was her in a great the wife had a great voice Yes Yeah, calm calm Right calm ass be voice. Yeah, calm. Why are you gonna bring this up in Paris? Yeah, it's depressing. It's morbid Why are you gonna bring this up in Paris? Yeah, it's depressing. It's morbid. Yeah, she had a great rack

By the way, I was you watching it right before the many sense of Newark and I was like Why did they go to Paris? There was no reason for it none Whoa, and then afterwards they come back from Paris and they go, how is Paris? It was amazing. And it's like, why? Why? I don't begrudge them. But I'm just saying that I had nothing to do with the show.

What's the matter? But she had to go to Paris. Why? Because she had to get out of there and go do what she's always wanted to do. That Tony said we do and we never do. He always lies to me. He always says this. He always says that fuck you. I'm going to Paris. We're buying bags and you ain't coming. Well, guess what? What? Here's why I should be in charge of a show like that. Obviously, I'm not his level, but here's where I'm better because I would have have to get to Paris and do what you really would have done called

Furio and said I'm in Paris fly over and let's do this. Oh, yeah, dude. Wow Yes, I didn't even fucking think of that. I wouldn't even a fuck. I wouldn't even a thought of that I want to say get your ass on one of those planes I wouldn't even have thought of that. I would have said get your ass on one of those planes. Yeah. That's over here and eat this fucking new work fucking fuzzy. Yes. You know, he would have been there

in fucking an hour and a half. Yeah. He would have gotten a gondola and fucking been there. Yes. Oh my God. Why didn't she, that's the one thing. Uncomfortable. She always had uncomfortable fuck. I mean, everybody except for Furia. Yes. Yeah. The priest. Guys, stop. I'd rather see the priest fuck around with AJ than fuck away with Camela. Yes. You know, the the piece of

shaman is like, come on. Leave the guy alone. His wife just died. Camela, you know, the the construction worker is like, come on, leave the guy alone. His wife just died. Kameli, you lonely broad. Leave Malone. Yes, yes, that a serial made all the bar is it's 12. Oh my God. That's what they should have done. By the way, nothing's better in the history of speaking instruction than when what's his

name, my boyfriend, the girl daughter's boyfriend comes out of the porta party and Vito Vito, he's too. It's too. It's from space. Yeah, you like the yaggy know the meds You're going to the fucking game You're going to the fucking game. Woo! One of the best moments in history of anything on TV ever. Thank you. I mean, you, and that kid was funny. Perfect casting that kid and he feel straight in his face.

He always did. You like your race horse in there. He comments on his piss stream. I don't know what was that. He was just, yeah, a big his hog was. Ah boy. Oh, yeah. He's right.

Yeah, that was. The status was when he got killed. Ah boy. I am. You're greatest. Yeah, I was. The service was when he got killed. And then what's the name Phil? Go see. Believe me. They go, we love to.

He goes, I love to. He was like a brother and Lord to me. He goes. What is it? Let me tell you. Let me tell you one of three things. Oh, I remember that day of expression so much. Couple of three things. Couple of three things was my favorite. That's it. Couple of three things. Um, that show was one of the funniest shows ever. Oh, there it is. There he is. God damn it. And people shit on the acting. I liked that they weren't great at it. They came across genuine.

You know, it's funny to say that because I'm he's the thing like Paulie will it like these guys there's a there's a life inside them that just came out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they don't know enough to not just to kind of be who they are. Yeah. And that's interesting to me. And who should Tony acting? I thought the acting was good. Now, some of the acting, Richie Jr. was stupid. Pooh. Yeah, there was a couple.

I love that kid though. He was just a cocky little asshole. Who's banging out Tony's daughter. Let me ask you a question. So you had this lady. what's your name again? Catherine Naducci. Catherine Naducci, bring her up. I mean, she is gorgeous.

But so what are you doing? You wrote these monologues. How many monologues we shot them? In different locations in the Bronx? No, just two of them. Okay, let's do it. But in different locations, it took three days. Different locations in the Bronx. So getting the location. So she's helping us with all she knows everybody. She's like talking to this one, getting us everything. We got a church. We're in everything for like just great for nothing, you know, and

You know, we just work we get up, you know, get five thirty six in a morning every morning. Just you would it like you said It's it's a different energy than commit comedy But it's nice to do it, you know so then we shot these monologues and now gonna edit them and then Bring into certain places see if they interested in doing nothing but the beauty of today is if everybody turns it down Put it on YouTube Good stuff. It's interesting stuff, you know hang on. I'm so sorry. God Hang on

I like the opening song to um To uh stream yard. What what do you mean? They have a great song when you're waiting. What is it? I What what do you mean? They have a great song when you're waiting. What is it? I you'll have to play it. It's been almost an hour. I forgot all about, but I was like, this is a real catchy tune. Rich keeps calling me. Rich Foss is calling me. It's just something.

A bit of one. Hello. Hello. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Are you there, Rich, Rich, Rich, Rich. Are you there, Rich?

Hello. What's wrong? Yes. Can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you. I'm doing YKWD live with Colin Quinn right now. Whoa, man. How do you get college? You son of a bitch.

Believe it or not, he's a hard get. He doesn't do podcasts unless you have, what was the word you're used? Well, there you go, Bobby's got a hot podcast. You're a hot commodity. You can gain driving to the podcast. But you can vote for him. He's in his house.

He wouldn't come out of it. He doesn't do podcasts in studio. He's not allowed to go to a place because he got COVID twice. And Les, you have reach. He did bar stool yesterday, went to bed. Okay, let's not be pissed. Regress about it. Drop it.

So he's calling you from stat nylon. It's only stat nylon. He doesn't live in stat nylon. It's calling Quinn. I know, but he's so

so far. Shout them in at the amount as well be it. You fucking joke block. You think, uh, what do you call it? What do you mean yes? You're home and you're lonely because it's raining, so you can't play golf. No, no, let me tell you something.

Ken Franklin wanna be. I'm in Las Vegas right now, and I could have played golf, but I can't so today, because I have other important things to do Like what I'm gonna walk your car Blackjack No, I'm gonna walk your target get my supplies Food for the week What's that nothing you say you say sex toys

Sam hey Sam did you said sex toys. Yeah, Sam. Hey Sam. Did you say sex toys Sam? My god, this is you know what I'm gonna let you guys go back to your boring Monday podcast, right? And it was not Somebody's been picking into the dictionary somebody's been picking into the dictionary. Does Bonnie have you on a new word a week regimen? Look, I'm about to become very popular, so you need to get your shit together. Monday. What's it Tuesday?

No, Monday. You can do it. You're stupid. We're having a very nice conversation. Talking about all kinds of acting and things. And then you come on and now Collins and a fucking, we're all in front of mean moods. Yeah. You're sitting there kissing bread, Garrett's ass for a week,

for a week of a mini headliner. We do boss. Yeah. And Bobby's kissing bread, loud, right there. But this is how jealous I am. Who? One part, I don't. Bobby was just, Bobby was just a...

Bobby was... Bobby was... This is how low self-esteem and jealousy I am. When Bobby was imitating Bonnie going, I'm going to be very famous, or I have things going on. I for a second thought he was talking about himself, I'm going, what the fuck did Bobby have going on? Right, and across my mind, then I realize you're talking about Bonnie and it all came together. You see what I'm saying? Hey, listen, you know, I'm not right. And I cross my mind. Then I realize you're talking about bonding. And I get all came together.

You see what I'm saying? Hey, listen, you know, I'm just talking. You're not all talking about. What? How long are you in Vegas for? I hang up on. How long are you in Vegas for? I hang up on them.

Oh, you in Vegas for? I hang up on them. Oh, good. Yeah, that was a cool for. That was uncalled for. Oh, yeah. But that was great. I'm glad we got voice as you wore.

I'm glad we got voice. I'm glad we got voice. I'm glad we. Oh, yeah, but that was great. I'm glad we got voice as he watched the target in the sun, in the desert sun. 120 out. He's walking to get nuts, veggie burgis and some coffee supplies. He's getting supplies. It's like the only place you can actually still get room service. Is the only place that has 19 restaurants at any hotel you're in. And he's going to go stock up his hotel room. You know what? I'm not in a fraction because I do the same thing everywhere I go. What do you mean you do the same thing?

I go to CVS or Target and I stock up on supplies. What supplies? Can we go over this? People think. Okay, ready? Yeah. I buy a mini, like a mini, bag of, you know, like some kind of like little candles

and stuff like that for the room. If somebody's room smells, people have been in there for too long. Okay. And I'll buy a couple of bags of nuts, even though, so I dilute myself, I'm not going to eat like a beast, even though I end up eating like a beast. Maybe a couple of six-pack of diet coke, a bunch of bottles of Fiji water or small water, because you know, they'll tell water's a little, and it's a charge of like 20 dollars. And you know, the hotel was a little and it started charging you like 20 dollars. And you know, you get dehydrated in those rooms. And then whatever else I need, you know,

sometimes I get some, you know, maybe a six pack of kind bars. Maybe some tea bags. You know, sometimes you want your own soap. If it's a shitty hotel, they have shitty soap, I'll buy a different bar of soap or something. What do you do with the soap when you leave? Leave it.

What do you do with the extra waters? Leave it. So everything else you just leave in the hotel room, whatever you don't use, except for that. If you use pocket, it's too much of a pain, yes. What if it explodes all of your clothes? So except for the nuts. Yeah, because if you take liquids on a plane, I don't even know if that's still a rule,

but I don't even want to find out, you know, it's an up-and-off hassle. I still wish I hadn't taken my laptop out. Every time they go, laptop out, I'm fuming, every time. You don't have to do that anymore if you get clear on TSA. Yeah. Yeah. You should be TSA. You know you should be TSA.

I know. It takes two seconds. Yeah, I had it. I don't know what happened. If you had it, you still have it. It didn't look like that on my last flight, but it's a little, no, I was in a weird location. Sometimes you get those local locations. They don't abide by the rules of the FAA.

That's not, that's not even a real, that's not true. Well, it sounds like it could be though. It doesn't sound, I can't, I can't take you right now. Thank you. I, I don't think that you're a snack pack or, I would call it a snack pack. That is not supplies. Rich Voss goes and gets veggie burgers, buns,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, buns, farm demands. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Yeah, he gets. He's in the room. Like a college kid. Like he doesn't have a hot plate. No, he has a kettle. He brings his own kettle. He brings his own George Foreman mini grill.

I'm not listening to me. No, listen to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me. I was at the real. We all went for a vacation together. Me, Vos, Keith, Verzy. Let's all go. We'll be in Vegas for a few days together. We'll have fun. We'll go to dinner. We'll go have a lot of good time to show us. I go to his room. He asked me if he wanted a veggie burger. And I went how, and he had a George Foreman mini grill in his, and he was cooking burgers. Oh, it's the greatest.

Yeah. So that is supplies. What you got was snacks. You got snacks. He is supplies. What you got was snacks. You got snacks. He got supplies. But I mean, how could you not love a guy that brings George Foreman, Grill on a not just on the road doing a gig, but when you guys are going to have like a part time, you're going to go out to eat every meal, boss balls, and he still brings a George boy who's like

fucking, I don't know what time those guys are getting up. I do things my way. That's Vos, but Vos takes stuff from places though. Like if he goes somewhere else, he'll, we went, okay, here's what really fucked me up with Vos. This is what made me, I don't know what the word is, repel him or he discussed me or it just made me like We're at the buffet at the Rio and he went and got a bunch of food And then he got a sandwich and he rolled it in a napkin and stuck in his pocket

Yeah, that's that's I'm hearing it. I went I go, is there something wrong with the power grid? Like is it something that you know that I don't know? Is there an attack about to happen? He goes, no, why? I go, because you just put a sandwich in your pocket like a fucking homeless person. That's terrible. I Go we're going to dinner tonight on the club Liz nom was Get let going up have a steak dinner on them. I'm nice one. He goes. It's for golfing tomorrow

So he takes a sandwich out with golf and he takes the sandwich out the next day. He starts eating it. I mean, two things about that. One is who gulps with a guy that takes a sandwich out in the middle of the golf game and starts eating it. I don't know. And here it is a day later. The sandwich is already like dried out. Yeah. And this idiot's it is a day later, the sandwich is already like dried out.

Yeah. And this idiot's bringing it a day later. It's wrapped in a napkin, it's not even in tin foil. In a tin foil, no. Not even a syran wrap, no. Jesus Christ. No. Here, here, here. This is what Voss has done though.

It's like Norton with sex. He's pushed the limits so past what you, that it's, you're fine with it. Yeah. He doesn't bother you. Nothing bothers you. You can say anything. Hey, it's just Norton. Voss, same shit.

I worry if there's going to be a character, one of Bonnie's movies that is going to force voice to stare at himself on screen and then hang himself. So she has a character that has a George woman grill on the road and take sandwiches and wraps them up. It's not going to be pretty. Just alone. Like we should make a movie. That's what being you should write.

We'll write the wrestler for comedy. All right. Starring Voss. Yeah. We let him act in it too. Oh, that's so funny. Okay. He yeah, he Thinly bailed imitation of us. Yes, we can't see us. All right cool. Who would play John Dittorro

John Dittorro only we and so he can't see us instead of golf. We're making he goes to batting cages every day Yeah, how about it? How about John Stewart would be better? Right? John Stewart. Right. How about Jonah Hill? We get Jessica Kirschian to play. Boss.

Ha. Oh, my God. He is fucking one of the kind. Right. Before you interrupt it, we're going to, I want to go into, we're going to, we go into, we're almost done here with the YKWD YouTube version. We go into the Patreon version for a couple of minutes. If you want to watch the extra footage Just go to patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly Become a member all the patreon.com people right now

My patreon people the lady bugs. I want to say thank you for being a part of that and I hope you enjoy the content And if there's anything else you want to see please hit me up on that Colin Quinn is doing another project Right now stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber Kelly See you there, Colin Quinn. You're the best. Thank you for being on I'll talk to you later I will see you at the cell. I'll be there tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll see you. I love you.

I'll see you guys later. And make sure you check out Colin Quinn on Twitter and check out all his stuff. He's got a show coming out. You're going to want to see. You can leave Colin. You can take it. I'm going to be promoting you.

Make sure you check out all his stuff on that he's coming out with his tour. And everything he does, cop show, he's one of the greats. We were talking about that in the J.O.P. party on Saturday and he is one of the greats, hands down, and as a human being, one of my best friends and I love him so much. So there you go.

I hope this has been a great episode for you, because it's been a great one for me. Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving to everybody. I hope you had a great day. I hope you weren't so politically correct that you couldn't enjoy yourself. You know, it's just a day for us to get together as families and friends, have some good food,

and be grateful for the things you have in life, look around you, and put a smile on your face, because it's really not that bad, right, mush? Exactly, it's been great, this year's been awesome so far. Why did that bother me? I don't know, but I'm happy this year. I don't know why you said that. Just made me go fuck him. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, great Rob Dukes from Exodus. And it is gonna be available just to you Patreon members. So thank you for being a part of this every month. I hope you enjoyed it.

Colin Quinn was awesome. Much thanks for doing this. Nicole, thanks for being a part of it. And we'll see you next week on, you know what? Do we have to do something else, right? I don't know, we have to do that separately. So let's not break the magic. All right, well listen, do me a favor and go to YouTube too if you're a

Patreon like subscribe and comment. Love you guys, see you guys next week. You know what the podcast later. You've been listening to YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. you