Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Colum Tyrrell | Dawncast

Episode Date: July 17, 2022

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Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Solicitate a tu beca en fundación la caixa.org Back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. I'm keeping my white kid dieting. This podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules. Shut up, you're ruining this! Where's the program? I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original original. You don't think you know. How bad is it that something happened on the computer and I instantly wanted to play my wife and she doesn't even know anything. I was like, what'd you do? She's not gonna get me. It ain't me. I'm so sorry for me, Dawn. I'm sorry. I apologize. Bobby, I'm not, I'm so sorry for me Don, I'm sorry. I Apologize

Bobby I'm not I'm saying sorry Well, don't fuck you. It's just See anyways, I'm saying sorry But I'm saying sorry For all of it Everything anyway, I'm sorry for you marrying me. I you should be in a better house in the woods Anyway, we're done with it. We're done. I'm in the woods Studio you're taking over my studio. How about this? You give me 20% of everything YKWD makes and you can have it

Who me? Yeah, you take over YKW League. I take over. I take over. You be the new dude. On the new dude. You're the new dude. I leave. I want 30%. You send them all to all the money.

It's a, it's a, you like, you like more people than I like. So I would just have to have the same forecasts every week. Whereas you have a nice, you, you know everyone. You have all same forecasts every week. Whereas you have a nice, you, you know everyone, you have it all these people come in. That's what it worked in it. It was the biggest. I said, why can't it be? And it's biggest have the same for people every week. That's that's that's it. Yeah, that was before that was before they could afford a microphone.

They all have to be regulars on a podcast. Well, that was actually before people were doing podcasts, and then I started inviting people on. I had people on really. Wait, didn't you have, sorry, but didn't you have like Nate? What's Nate used to be a regular? Nate was a rag, a Janus, Janus, it was a rag. What they before the video episodes are,

yeah, so where are they? Where are those episodes? They're up. I think they're on last one. They're audio versions. Not nice, right? What? And where do you get podcasts?

You can listen to this. Yeah, anywhere you get podcasts, you can listen to the YKWD. And we have the early versions. Johnis was, we called Nate the sniper because he would sit there the whole episode and just throw out four or five holy shit lines. Janus, let's be Janus.

That's from my podcast. I think he made an album out of that. We had all kinds of shit from Janus. Janus used to come in. Janus would come on the show and it would always be an epic episode with Yannis. Something would happen. We would always have a catchphrase or some type of saying after Yannis. Yeah, he's a lunatic, isn't he? So there's always something. Well, back then he was doing stand-up and he was doing the...

Whatever. Yeah, me that. And then he was doing stand up and he was doing the whatever. Yeah, me that. And then he actually, yeah, Yannis was fucking great. I mean, Yannis, his episodes were always murderous because Yannis knows how to answer questions but also ask questions. You do the same thing. You'll talk, but you'll get into it.

You'll start asking me questions. I like that. You know what I mean? I suppose to me having to just fucking steer the ship. You know? Yeah. That's why Lewis was great. Lewis was great. I tell you, if you go back, Lewis would come on, he would come on all the time. And then one day he came in with sunglasses and a rattle. And he invented the rattle. The rattle's like he invented it on the YKWD. I still have the rattle be over in the studio somewhere. His original rattle. He'd say something and he'd go, it's he's retarded. He was infuriating. It was infuriating. But it worked. Yeah. It worked.

The original rattle was coined in an altoid kit tin. Oh, yeah, that's it. The original rattle was. That's true. That's what a rattle. Yeah, the Puerto Riga Rattle. But he, yeah, and Joe, Joe list was the truth, but the original you want me in the original Oh, motherfucker, I'm all you know who was column no

Joe the rose the rose. Yeah, the rose. It was supposed to me me and the rose and now Our ego's are too big, man. Our egos are too big. We fought. We fought. I mean, dude, there's an episode I never released, because it was violent. I mean, would you release it now?

Now that's like it's not as harsh. I asked Rob Sprance to find it. I go, can you please find this episode? Because I'd like to, I would like to have DeRose back on. And I would like to have him back on and then reopen some old wounds. I put him, it's so funny. I knew this girl who was a friend of mine, Kathy. And she was crazy.

Crazy. But, you know and she was crazy, crazy. But she was cool, pretty girl, you know what I mean? And I hooked her and Derosa up on a date, and it ended very badly. And then I had them on the podcast, and it was fucking nuts, man. Just one date? Or like they were dating. One day, and she's fucking nuts, and Derosa was fucking nuts, and they went at it.

And the, I mean, dude, me and Derosa, but it was so fun. I mean, me and Derosa would just scream at each other. I had Ted Alexander on once, and Derosa was just attacking him. And I, I was trying to be funny and then the roast has said something to me and I snapped you know me I'm a fucking and we were just screaming at each other.

I don't think I ever released the episode there might be two episodes where I And it's only Joe Joe's the only time you never released an episode. No, I there was a time there was a time with Mike Lawrence. I'll tell you the times. I always I never edit. Very I've edited very rarely over 15 years of doing this. Mike Lawrence came on he was on toy hunter. Okay. And I was like, this all bullshit, right? It's all bullshit. What is it? It's just buying old toys or something. These these fucking nerds would go around and buy old toys. Like, this is an original rimco.

Yeah. You know, this is the first Barbie produced. They only had 70 of these. Some rare Lego malfunction. How the fucking Barbie produced. They only had 70 of these. Some rare Lego malfunction, I don't fucking stop. Some horned ship, right? So he came on and I had just got done doing a travel channel or something. And I knew that it was overproduced.

The one I was on was with Sharad, where we would, it was called Men vs. Food. We would go to, like a town, we went to Miami and we would go to like a town, we went to Miami, and we would go to nine different places and whoever tapped out first lost. So we would go to a pizza place and have a slice, then we go to the ice cream place, have an ice cream, then we go to the Cuban sandwich place, have a Cuban. And we go to like the Cleveland on the beach and have their tata tots. And by the time we got to the tata tots, Charada had already tapped out, he's done.

Yeah. So they took a bunch of tata tots off his plate made it look like he ate it. Because we still had five more restaurants. Otherwise the show would suck, yeah, yeah. We had the show would suck. So they over and then we went, I was eating all day because I'm a fucking tub of shit That sounds nice to be honest going to like eight different spots and just having a little bit. Oh

Dude, my I would have lost a foot in the first season, but It would have been my it was my dream job That sounds amazing. Just going to every state or city and trying to out-fuck-and-eat some other asshole. But so I asked my clients, I was like, you know, man, do they, do they overproduces it all, produce all bullshit? He goes, yeah, and he told me, he goes, yeah, it's all bullshit. That's all they had. I had that and they gave it to me like they are something I know I don't know the details but He said that on the podcast and I didn't realize how I Didn't realize how the internet work and what fucking trolls even my fans listening

they went immediately on Twitter to Travel channel You guys a fucking bullshit a travel channel. And we're like, you guys are fucking bullshit. You fucking. And Mike Lawrence calls me an hour after the show. His girlfriend got five shoes of producer on the show. She got him on that show. Yeah. And she got fired. Jesus. And it was like, dude, you got to take that down and we had to take the fucking whole episode down. Yeah, that's what we took that part out. Yeah. Everything to you members of food. What's that? Oh, you got it? Let's see it.

Shorado's Toby. I'm Robert Kelly. this is Men vs Food. That's how you eat, alright? It's the ultimate battle to see who can pack away the most grub. We're going to throw down everything from fancy pork chops to a pile of stone crab to gelato popsicles. One day, two men and pounds and pounds of amazing food. We're comedians and we've known each other for like 20 years. You're a good boy.

Thank you. We spent a lot of time eating on the road, but now we're going to go head to head in this new school eating contest. Eat it, eat it. Here's how it works. We go city to city and eat some of the best food in America. Ding, ding.

We'll head as many restaurants as we can order the same dish in each joint. And we both have to clear our plates to move to the next spot. We'll go all day and all night if we have to until one of us can eat another fight. Are you done? Are you the nice nice do you know what city's did you go to what one was the best one we just went to Miami and then they fucking never oh i thought you least got a season out of it now

that sharad didn't even use pizza he took like three bites and then they just he was probably drinking two Smoking smoking weed all day. I couldn't even sit in the van It was like a hundred and seven out and I had to stand outside because dummy. I'm recovering Alcohol and dragon egg this kid was just smoking lovers in the van. Yeah Yeah, dude, that was it. What's that? Are you guys even could that close or at the time? Oh, yeah What's that? Are you guys even that close or at the time? Oh, yeah, me and Sharad people don't know that me and Sharad have been really good friends for a long time

We actually did another we did a tour together. I've already I mentioned this before Lauren Michaels put together a Called Burleigh Bear Network. It was to compete with MTV. It was only for colleges, and I was a guest VJ on that. I would be like, hey, coming up, we got, you know, flak and the Google flak and googues. And so stay tuned. And so they put a tour together, a comedy tour

with me and Sharot, where we went to colleges and we did these shows. And I was the guest VJ of Burles to promote the Burley Bear Network. And Anne Harris, who was the head of Comedy Central, up until a couple of years ago, was just a young kid who was doing the tour with us working at Burley Bear Network. One kid who was doing the tour with us working at Berly Bear Network, you know? And yeah, it was crazy. And then we would go to, dude, that's back when we went to a college. And you go up, do the show inside of a fucking living room of a dorm of, you know, one of

those, you know, like a kind of pool. It was very much like animal house, dude. Okay. Yeah, I mean, dude, they were throwing frisbee that the glass shanty layer. We would go in the basement. Every room in the basement was themed bar that they made by themselves.

You walk into one room, everybody's in who skirts. You walk in the other room, they're all fucking dressed like army people. Oh, yeah, Sharadad I think Sharad finger bang some chick in the van it was nice it was nuts so doing colleges used to be fun now it's like just nerds I'm a comic that doesn't college now is just, yeah, the journalists, they pick all the right boxes, it's nuts. Oh, it's fucking terrible, dude. Oh, it's terrible.

They're magicians. Yeah, colleges became like the new cruise ships. Yeah. And then cruise ships, cruise ships are coming back for some reason. Love people are back in the cruise ships, they think it's good now. Oh, everybody's on the cruise.

My cult is on the cruise right now, but I would live in his room. He's got a two two four bedroom suite. Oh nice. Yeah The new ships are fucking great Yeah, the cruise ships are amazing all modern everything sweet and nice the old ones are a little fucked up Yeah, yeah, and The old ones are a little fucked up man. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the way you got the idea of,

in Louis, when you guys did bang bang, you ate two, there's a, you and Louis in that show, you did a bang bang, right? Were you 18 years back to back? Yeah. Had that had that? And I think to do with the man versus food, or was that just a,

No. Louis, you like to eat. No, Louie's a fat fuck like me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, me and Louie are very similar food wise. I mean, when we were on that European tour, the first, the first night that Louie came to dinner, yeah, I think it was in, we're in Sweden. We're in Sweden and the guy was like,

you have to go to this restaurant. When you eat with Louis, was that your first time in Sweden actually? No, second time. Second time. They're good looking people, right? They're good looking. It's all the same fucking bird walking that street, but yeah.

Whatever, yeah. Some of the girls are like working in Burger King and you're like, you should be a model. Yeah, you some of the girls are like working in Burger King and you're like you should be a model What are you doing? Yeah, but I found like all these girls in Sweden where we were plastic surgery dude and lips. Oh really? I Was there like 10 years ago might have changed. I don't remember. Oh, dude. I was disappointed It was a lot of plastic surgery a lot of makeup and the lips were done. It was like Really? Yeah, it was fucking weird and all the guys dressed the same. It's like and the thing was Sweden when you're walking down the street

Yeah, people don't move Oh, they don't know it's like they move it the last second, but it's like they're walking and walking and walking and they're waiting for you. Like it's almost like a game of chicken. It was. Where were you Stockholm? No, we went to Stockholm. The first place we went. No, no. No, name another one. Yadla. Nope. They only did the only shrewy faces of them. So I don't know anymore. I don't know where they don't talk a lot either. They're very quiet and reserved. Um, yeah, but they're gorgeous. That gorgeous. Dude, they're fucking gorgeous.

The restaurant he took us to, the, the Louie just, he just or is like, you guys like Caviar? We're like, yeah. And he just ordered two mugs of caviar. I'm like, this big and he just ordered two mugs of caviar. Like this big, like way too much. It was caviar from 25 people. And then he ordered a couple,

it just keeps orders. If he eats like me, dude. That's great. Yeah. I go to, when I got to Newport, I tried to go every year with my girlfriend up to Newport, Rhode Island, and over here and my girlfriend up to Newport Rhode Island and we just eat all day.

That's it. Just constantly. It's like we got a big breakfast, big lunch, big dinner and then we're just eating in between just all day. Just chowder, lobster base, lobster rolls. We go get some sandwiches. We go get the stuffies, you know, all those stuffed clams and shit like that. Stuffies.

Stuffies, yeah, that's what they call the stuffed, stuffed you know, all those stuffed clams and shit like that. Just the neckings. Did you call the stuffies? Stuffies, yeah. That's what they call the stuffies. They're called stuffed co-hogs. Is that how you pronounce it? Co-hog? Let me tell you something. Coming from New England, my whole life. Yeah.

I refuse to let you call them stuffies. What do you call them? They're called fucking, what do they call co-hogs? You know, really? Well, I don't know. I just replaced a week old. They're called fucking. What do they call co hogs? You know, really? Well, I don't know. I just replaced a week old. They called stuffies. So I call them up and tell them to stop.

They're fighting the noise and stuffies. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, people sleep on Rhode Island. Yeah, there you go. Stuff, they're stuff clamp. What do they call them? Stuff clams? Stuffed co-hogs.

Stuffed co-hogs. Yeah, those are so fucking good, dude. Yeah. The winglet, the winglethudes, the shit. It's the best. Yeah. Boston has better food in New England. Rhode Island, Boston has better food than New York City.

But like, what do you mean? How? You heard me. Like, like you mean? Name a food. Name a food. Pizza? Oh, he had to go to that one first. I kind of like, okay, sushi.

Sushi. Yeah, better sushi. Do you think this better sushi in Boston? Sure. We don't say sure. Yeah, maybe I know, maybe you're right. Yeah, you're right. I. We don't take sure. Maybe I know maybe you're right. Mexican food. Have a Mexican food. Have a bagels. About every food I fucking think of. What do you want me to say? Chicken wings? You can have chicken wings.

You can have chicken wings Steak tips they have a Chinese food and Steamers the boss the Italian food is way better than New York used to be New York I'm not gonna say Brooklyn or whatever, but I'm telling you right now man hat and that Italian food stinks Yeah, probably yeah, I used to be the best. Now it's fucking garbage. Go down to the... It's all Mexican food now. I don't know Chinese now then.

I had a fucking roast beef sandwich in Boston. It was one of the best I've ever had. It was like a roubon, but it wasn't. Yeah, you can't roast beef in New York. It was a famous one. Do you know what it's called? In Boston, huh? Kelly's. Yeah, I think it what it's called in college, huh? Kelly's.

Yeah, I think it was Kelly's. Yeah. Any relation? No, I wish those fucking cocks are because of gazillionaires. That was the original roast beef place. That's on a beach, Reverb Beach. And it was in the summer when I was growing up, it was very similar to, you know, you're getting your car and you drive up and down

uh, Reverb Beach. Yeah. And you do big girls, you meet chicks, then you pull over, go to Kelly's and it would be open 24 hours a day. Yeah, the one on the left is the original. Click on the original. The original is the fucking bastard. So right on the beach, that thing all night long would be, uh, would be going all night long. You go there three in the morning get into it but a lot of fun the good old days the good old days yeah the good old day. Ron did you ever go to River Beach? Yeah. Used to cruise the beach to you more? Yeah. You ever meet a guy on the beach? Now you ever go there with your boyfriend? Good answer. Yeah you you had to think about it. You thought right. Yeah, did they? Now, let me ask you questions. They have anything. I picture

Ironman like this. You go to work, you go to the pub. Yeah, you have some type of pie. And then you go home. Yeah, kind of. We're not really pie people. That's the British, British and our pies, but it's pretty similar. We, Ila, Dublin's changed a lot. I've been gone for like eight years now. So Dublin is exploding with new restaurants and stuff like that, but we're not really a foodie people.

You know, give me a fuck about it. friend like friend of mine is visiting there right now And he asked me for recommendations and I couldn't give him any restaurant recommendations Because I was like, I don't think I've ever eaten now I'm like, I just, to my mind made by dinner It was crazy to go out for dinner, it was crazy What what what to go to dinner and Ireland is a big thing It was for me growing up And you know, but we'd go to like a Chinese restaurant,

like a nice Chinese restaurant or something. That was like a special occasion for communions and stuff. We'd all go to a Chinese, all you can eat Chinese restaurant. And it was like a special thing. No shit. Yeah, you'll just say, how long will I pour? Just eight. But the food that we have is like good, but it's not like fancy. It's always like What are I for breakfast? Yeah, what would like in Ireland? What would you wake up for breakfast? What would you have? Oh If it was like the weekend you have a full Irish breakfast, which is what is what which is two pieces of bacon? Which is Irish or British bacon, which is thick?

It's it's it's not, it's like a thick version of American bacon. You ever tried it? Yeah, I have. I love English breakfast. It's good. Yeah, then you get your Irish sausage. Then you got black and white pudding, pudding, which is blood sausage. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Blood sausage. The white one is no blood, and the black one is whiplood. Most people can't handle the black one. That's because they're a little bitch I love the black one. Yeah, the black. Yeah, I'm sure you do and Cut it loop it He makes it up my wife just raise her eyebrows. There we go. Look at that The trick is that a grill tomato. You put it in half and you put a, you had to fry it up or you put it in the grill and make beans, the eggs,

the toast, big mugoté. That's it. It's just all protein. There's like no vitamins. Like even the tomato is burnt. So that has anything that could be possibly healthy is gone. And who makes this? Like, you're already got to a cafe

or your mother would make it or I'd make it or whatever. Whoever would make it, you always have to make it for everyone. So that you'd all have a big breakfast, six of you sitting around. Okay, so what do you have there in the week? Like a bowl of fucking mush. A bowl of mush. Just the usual shit. It's always like a meat and two veg or a meat and three veg.

So it's always like, you got your chicken breast, potatoes, carrots, broccoli. And that's like your standard or it's like salmon, potatoes, carrots, broccoli. What are you guys doing for lunch? Do you guys do sandwiches? Yeah, sandwiches, yeah. I was kind of like, what? Like, you guys do sandwiches? Yeah, sandwiches, yeah. I was kinda like, what?

Like, you guys don't do tuna. We do do tuna, why not? You do peanut butter and jelly? No, that's only really, I don't even think you can get jelly in anywhere outside of America. Why the fuck, you got, why not? That's not a real thing, that jelly thing is made out of chemicals or something.

I don't know what that is. Someone made that in a lab Pilgates made that I don't know why people don't like PBJs And like you can't get a PBJ out of fucking the States. It's disgusting. It's fucking horrible if you didn't grow up with it It's nasty We have jelly you've jelly, but you've got jelly, which is like a Fake it's not real right not made out of fruit or anything, right? I don't think so.

No, it's not, it's like powdered or something. And we have jam, which is properly made out of strawberries and shit. Right. So that's different. But you don't do peanut butter. We do do peanut butter, yeah. You don't put them together.

Never. No. That's nasty. Have you ever had one? Yeah, I've never liked it. It's so good. But that's like I'll show you with the Vegemite. They eat that in the morning. It's like go. What is that? What's the Vegemite is? It's like Bavoral, is there something? Yeah. Black mush they put on toast in this. I love it. Yeah

Everyone has some horrible shit that they you guys love you know now seats mac and cheese either Americans They only like mac and cheese people Mac and cheese is the shit It's I think it's good if it's made right and it's like the real ingredients. I can't deal with any to like shitty fake cheese like the craft sporsher. Oh, I love the craft. You love that, right? That's nasty.

But you know what? It's all mac and cheese. But you know that's nasty, right? But you like eating it. You know it's like Cheetos are something where they're like, our cheese puffs swear it's not nice but you'll just eat the whole thing. Dude, mac and cheese in any version in any way is an Ali Boston market mac and cheese.

Ali craft mac and cheese. Ali the old, the tall little thin box of mac and cheese. I'll leave it out. I love mac and cheese tomato pasta and cheese. Get out of my face. It's a poor man's carbonara is what it is. Okay. That's what it is. Yeah. I make a good carbon. I look at that. Veggie Mike. What is it? It's a pace made

from Brewer's yeast extract. Oh, why? Because they're Australian. Australian people. Brewer's yeast. So that's the shit that didn't make it into a bear. Yeah I wasn't good enough They just scraped off the barrel and just ate it. It was burns at the end of the pa Just garbage man. I mean, I love Australian people. God bless you But you guys you really are just a weird group of fire. I mean just East on toast. What's wrong with you people?

Yeah. Yeah, it's grow up. I know, there's another one. There's a version. Does it think about Bavoral? Do you ever hear that? No, I think that's a similar thing. It's like a black spread that no one likes.

You either love it. Like one person will just eat it constantly all the time and no one else would eat it And it's like most hideous thing in the world. Bavaria I've tried bed you might and I was appalled at the person I was like you're you're a shit person Have you eaten weird shit like have you eaten like when I was in Thailand I had crickets and stuff I've eaten loads of maggots and things over the years like whatever But they fry those

Yeah, but I say nice and they spice it. They Yeah, it tastes like I had I had Dean, you know, are you dying? I don't die. Yeah, not I had Dean You fucking I'm in your mass hole Put that on your schedule, your douchebag. I have only eaten one bug, but I would eat bugs. I don't give a shit. I just wouldn't, you know those big worms that they, the big white worms they eat while they're still alive?

Yeah, do they do that? I wouldn't do that, because that's like biting into a dick and a low chute in your mouth. I'm not doing that. I wanna go to them. I've never been. I wanna go to New Orleans. I've been just to eat. I tell you this, first time I went to New Orleans,

I hated it. The food was garbage. Yeah, I went with cook back in the day and we were doing the show. It was, I hated it. I hated it. The food sucked, everything. And then my uncle and I had shit food too.

And I, I remember Mark Lohman was on YKWD. And I was like, your food stinks. And he's like, you're crazy. It's the best food in the world. Why would you do that? You stink. And you fat. I'm kidding.

It's comedy. And I went back with Nick DePolo. and I just, I went to all the wrong places the first couple of times. Okay. And I went back, I went to like these restaurants I was told to go to. Oh, yeah. What are you getting? Poe boys and dude, I got a poe boy.

I got a fucking, what's that other stupid thing they tell you to get? Jumbalaya. Jumbalaya, but I got a po-boy, I got a fucking root. What's that other stupid thing they tell you to get? Jumbalaya. Jumbalaya, but I got a good one. Okay. Real good one. It was so good, dude. Gumbo. Gumbo assault.

Gumbo, dude, I got gumbo. That was just off the charts. Yeah. Me and Nick, the Apollo, we eating together. And you know the foods get when Nick just is nice. He's, he's, he stopped saying racial slurs. He stopped saying. He's not saying fucking mean shit.

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Yeah, that's a place I've never been to. We go for food. Yeah, it's a good place. I don't, I'm not really into the fucking whole stuff. But you don't drink. There'll be no point to involve being in part of it. They're drinking parade, if you don't. I don't know how that place is surviving though, because with all the woke bullshit,

you know some woke bitch walk down the street and start a bunch of guys throwing beads at a chick for kids. Yeah, that's an empowerment. There's a slut empowerment movement right now. It's like it's they're reclaiming their sexuality or something. Who? The horse. I don't know. It's like a thing. They all love them. It's fine. They're like, they're all pro only fans. Isn't it weird that they, they, they, they, all this stuff with treat women respect. We're not sexual. This we're not all about sex. We're humans too.

And as soon as the pandemic came, they all went and showed their assholes on fucking only fans for money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. none of them wrote, none of them wrote blogs, none of them wrote stories that would make you want to pay. No one, no one have had good opinions. Or anything they all immediately went to sleep. No, no good podcasts. Yeah, they didn't do anything creative at all. They got a dog and they fucking got an apron

and they threw their underwear in the corner. Yeah. And listen, I don't blame them. I don't give a shit. Yeah. If I could show my fucking dirty octopus for a couple shackles, I'd fucking do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. Absolutely. I'll whip my fucking saggy oysters out on camera. Yeah, for sure. I just like my nuts, cover my nuts and and peanut butter or whatever you want me to do I'll do anything I wonder if there is Got like some loser guy just fucking only fanning and making the ton of cash. There's got to be do you reckon there's like a straight guy who just

Just jerks out you have to be shredded. I think because women aren't paying to see that. So it's only gay men who are going to pay to see it. And they want you to be like fucking Hulk Hogan or something. I don't think so, dude. I think there's a fetish. You got to get into a fetish. Yeah. Yeah.

So you would be the Irish. You would be the Irish twink. Here's what I was thinking. I'd be the condiment guy. What? The condiment guy. So I like, I'll cover myself and catch up. Or you know, one week, and then the next week is,

you know, I'm more sad. Or something like that. You do it, and I'll do it with you, and I eat the ketchup off because I'm fucking hungry. He'll do the veggie might. Oh, dude. Yeah, I would be the, I would be the dead Tony a belly button hernia finish. Dude, there's a subratif for you.

A problem. Yeah, it would just be me with my fucking feet in front of the camera, my dead Tony, I wiggle it and push it in my belly button and let it pop back out. Jesus Christ. What we could do is put you in a wig and pretend you're a fat woman. That would make those feeders. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen any of these feeders. So they're like the 600 pound woman she can't move and the guys Washing her with a rag and stuff and everyone's watching live going bling bling and the money's coming on bling bling And they have to be like

It's crazy. Then then they pour like they'll pour like they'll blend food into it like it like a high-calorie food into like a book It and then they pour it down our fat fucking gullet. No, everyone's there going, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. Like I watch them as I swear. There's huge money in being feeders. Being what? A feeder. So I'd be a guy who gets a big huge girlfriend. And then why don't I just put a wig on and you come feed me.

I'm not poor. I'm not hard into your milk. Look, look, no way. Look, I bet you they make a million dollars a year. And he makes it. I'm going to spend a million five. What? But they spend a million five.

Yeah. The problem is, look, they make the money, but she can't get it. Wait a minute. Bravo, Bush. Bravo. Bravo, Bush. That was a good, they spend a million five on food. It's a big thing. Dude, they blend food down and stuff like they get like hot, like lard and shit and just pull it. Push it. Oh, you'll feed me. All right. I'm in. I mean, it's not nice food, man. It's pure just calorie intake. It's not. Well, I gotta see this. Do you have a video of this?

Oh my God, did you hear about this, Don? This feeders, we can make a lot of money. Max, where's the school? You just feed me. Let's go back to the market. Let's go back to the market. It's like the zoom. There's like feeding times, they'll watch,

and then they watch show our time. Where you have to get in, they'll under the folds and and shit they bring in a couple of Mexican kids to look at. And I'm involved. Mojima to find that job. And yeah, but people are into it and I don't know I think it's kind of immoral they say because them you're making that girl like disabled. she gets so fat that she's like disabled And they kind of say it's like and she loves it because she's just sitting there ballooning Yeah, that's moving seven

Oh, I don't what's that you never saw seven. I don't think so no I don't I don't even know if I want to continue this isn't Morgan Friedman Brad Pitt. Never heard of him. Oh my God. These guys knew. First of all, I know you're being in it yet. I've never heard of Seven, though, to be honest.

Listen to me. If you don't watch that movie, by the next time you're talking to you, I don't want to talk to you again. Okay. I'll watch your movie, by the next time you're talking to you, I don't want to talk to you again. Okay, I'll watch your show. It's not my show. I'll watch your favorite show. It's a movie. Stop saying show. Okay, all right. I don't like a European just call things things that I watch. I'll watch your film. I'll watch your show. It's not watching. I watch the film.

Yeah, dude, it's it's fucking one of the best. One of my one of my in my opinion, one of my favorite movies ever. I don't want to spoil it for you, but it's fucking amazing. And did they feed someone? Oh, yeah. Oh, look at that, dude. Morgan Freeman. Yeah. No, it's time. Can you do Morgan Freeman? No, that's mush. That was at his birthday party last year. Face first and spaghetti. Yeah, he fell asleep in the spaghetti. you got to see that. But so let me ask you more about this. This feeding thing. Do you have it? Is there any video of this? There's God. I remember watching documentaries on this years ago. Really? I remember watching documentaries on this year's ago. And people would pay and then they, they tip while they're watching live. How much do they make you think? Dude, these, some of these people get huge money.

You got to go into the world of being a, like a crazy fetish. That's where the money is. Well, the guy is always skinny. The guy is always just some twinky little kid who cares about his body. Right. Yeah. And she's always just, oh, oh, right. And they're asking questions and they go, oh, and the subtitles at the bottom. She said she loves it.

She's like, oh, well, you know, you got to make a living. I wouldn't. Don't want to judge anyone. Wow. It's so amazing that technology has made that. That an actual fucking viable job. Yeah. I mean, that's a job. You can make thousands of dollars off of being on the,

on the, on the stupid camera on the internet feeding that person to death. Yeah. I mean, you know we're going to, it, the world's over. We're, we're done. It's over. I don't max is the last generation to make it out. But whatever kids he has, it's going to be a fucking nightmare. This plan, asteroids coming, the aliens are coming, something's happening because there's no way we can keep doing this shit that we're doing and the wrath of something not fucking affect this planet. I'm telling you right now, we're the dinosaurs. They're going to find our bones in two billion years and be like, wow, these guys,

they're going to find some fat chip bones like this lying on a coach. You found it. Oh, my God. This is 2012. So she's, she wasn't weighed out anymore. Yeah, she's a lot less difference underground. Wow, she does not eat all that. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I could. She doesn't, honestly, the funny thing is

this is 10 years ago, doesn't seem that big anymore. Like, that's like, that's not big. That's not crazy big. That's not fucking. Well, she gets fat in her stomach. She doesn't get fat in her arms.

What I've learned being fat over all this time, column, is that everybody gets fat in different places. You know what I mean? Like when I get fat, my legs don't get fat. My arms really don't get that fat. Yeah. I, it all goes to my stomach. Yeah. And when I, and when you lose weight, because I've been losing weight, you can feel it going to like the the fact that did go to your legs or your arms or your hips or you know you can feel that go first. That's the first fact to go. The last fact to come is the first fact to go. It's a weird feeling. Okay. I couldn't time I couldn't like a couple of few weeks ago when I was putting my shoes on, I would have to sit down to put my shoes on.

Okay. Now I can stand up and put both shoes on my feet, which is because I lost some type of fat somewhere that not allowing me to fucking put my shoes on, which is sad, but that's the way it is. What are you walking up there? You're hiking there and get out there. I'm walking every morning.

We're working all day and I'm doing, I just got a kettlebell. I got the rubber bands too. Yeah. So I'm doing the rubber bands. Yeah, every day. Every day wake up six. Get that tea patching. I'm doing the rubber bands. Yeah, every day, wake up, sticks. Get that deep patching. I'm sleeping like I'm sleeping like I'm 10.

Okay, nice. Where are you, man? No, we're in the hamstring. White mountains. New I'm sure. Yeah, it's so funny though. I'm seeing a bunch of fans like I'm at Walmart or at the store and like Bob Kelly. Why are you here? And I'm like, I live here now. All'm at Walmart or at the store and like Bob Kelly, why are you here?

And I'm like, I live here now. All right, hope to see you up here. I'm like, well, pardon me, not, but yeah. Yeah, fucking, it's amazing up here, dude. It's, yeah, it's the best. Plus Max is a camp. He came home last night at 8.30, a 9.30, right? 9.30. 8. home last night at 830 or 930 right 930 830 last night. So he went to camp

yesterday at 830. He came home at 830. Kanoon, everything he went on a boat. He went fishing. He kind of bass. I mean, it's fun. What's that? It's just like an adventure camp. Is that what they call it or what would they call it? Camp? Just regular camp and then they just do all this You know, you know, differentiate over here No, it's just camp. I mean, yeah, we'd assume it would be adventurous You know, they have like different they have that out of like sports camp and then I have like adventure camp And then they'll have some other type of bullshit Here's more generic yeah, hang on second. Is anybody talking to you? This is not your podcast

I'm not she's right. You're fucking stutter in there Bobby can't to save the day Sit down there will you and get Bobby I mean yeah, I guess they do but we they don't call it adventure camp Well, that's what I told an island like this is adventure camp. This is sports camp. This is transitioning camp And they have this is Swan Lake's camp and it's more of like it's camp But it's the largest camp. It's preparing them to be out in the world and I see it isn't well then it's come Learning camp fires. Okay, I'm just tapping out

No, you don't know the information Oh, fuck you I love that you're bonding with her. You don't even know if you're liking it Don't doesn't come on screen Yeah, all right, so it's will do this camp. Yeah, yeah I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game.

I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. I'm not going to be a fan of the game. yeah, I'll give you a ant I'll give you a little sleeping bag. That'd be amazing. We just hike up. We hike up into the mountains. We make camp. Eat light of fire. Oh fuck yeah. Hang a bear bag and fucking hang out. Yeah, that'd be amazing. I'd love to do that.

All right, you're in. Next time we go. All right. Yeah, that please. Thanks. Yeah, you, that, that, please, thanks. Yeah, you don't have camp. Did you never want to camp when you were a kid? We did a little bit, but not a lot, not a lot. And I camped at a fucking music festival. Does that count? No, no, no, no. Now, and I want to go out to like the desert, desert in Joshua Tree or something.

Yeah, I'm not into that shit either. No, what's the other festival? Burning man. Yeah, I'm not into that shit. Dude, it's just, you know, tits and love. You don't like that? No, I'm not into hippie shit. And I've seen tits, I'm good with tits.

I don't need to walk around and see some because you can't touch him. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I want some hot chicken with the tits out. Just making me all fucking wound up and I gotta go sleep and attempt with you in the middle of with no AC fuck. With those big goggles on because it's a storm. Yeah. I gotta live like mad max for fucking a weekend. And Ari's on Ari's on acid beside you. it's a storm. I got to live like mad max for fucking a weekend. And Ari's on Ari's on acid beside you. He's fucking naked. His naked just whipping his dick out and slapping on my thigh. Fuck that. FY, listen, there's no more dawn.

Okay, so get over the dawn thing. All right, nobody dawn. Yes, dawn. We want more dawn. Don't you be a guest? Dickie wants more dawn. No, I'm going to veto that. There we want more dawn. Don't you be a guest think he wants more done. No, I'm gonna veto that. There's no more dawn. All right. Yeah Right on It's a shank though because the shatter on podcasts are so many good names Like don of the dead yeah, what else? Yeah, since the dawn of time we need one more the crack of dawn one I don't know Yeah, it's since the dawn of time. We're one more the crack of dawn. One more.

I don't know. And me? I'm, I'm either right or I'm, I'm dawn. Is that good? It's a new dawn. It's a new day. Oh, it's a new dawn. It's a new day. That's great. There you go. I think you could use the music. Fucking. It's a new dawn. It's a new day.

I'm bad. You sing? Yeah. Let me hear it. Do I sing that song? Yeah, let me. It's a new dawn. It's a new day. And I'm feeling good. Don but don't go on everybody The confidence you did with you just saying that makes I want to throw my computer out this fucking window right now Was that not good? It was kind of bad and good You know confidence where you were like, you've seen karaoke now, yeah. I do see karaoke, yeah. I knew it.

I fucking knew it. You have karaoke confidence. Karaoke call it. Karaoke call it. I'm doing the Cesar kick. I'm doing the Cesar kick. Oh, they hate me. They hate me. I karaoke. What's the Cesar kick? The Cesar kick. I'm doing the Cesar kick. They hate me. They hate me. I carry. Okay. What's the Cesar kick? The Cesar kick?

They got to do this. Ah, you'll trust me. When you see it, you'll know it. What's the Cesar kick? You got to go. You like, yeah, just get up and do them. Like, um, Anderson's like, it's a fucking the Cesar kick. Are you wearing shorts? I don't have anything on underneath this Anyways, how's New York doing man? I haven't been there in a little bit great good

Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone's thumbs They're good. Yeah, I'm working the seller now for a while. It's been going good. You got it at the seller. I got in. Yeah. Oh good for you, dude. Thanks man. Yeah, who got you in? And no one. Boom. I think big J. It's confusing. It's confusing. I did Big J's show. Yeah. And I think potentially Liz saw me or someone told S.E. that I went well. And then I asked to audition and S.E. asked for a tape and then she just passed me. So I never, I don't know. I never really got, I didn't ask any questions. I just I just got in. You you got in without auditioning. Yeah. Wow. Dude, I've never heard of that.

Rept by the streets. Dude, she'd be crazy not to the to be crazy not to pass me. You can't Yeah, I don't know. I never listen. I didn't want to get bogged down in the details because I didn't even understood if I got passed or not and confusing. And then one day I was just on the line up and I was like, I guess I'm in, I didn't want to get bogged down in the details because I didn't even understood if I got passed or not and Confusing and then one day I was just on the line up and I was like, I guess I'm in I guess They must be so short staffed of comedians. They need they need the variety Publish all the all the straight white men Won't stay out late like you you went what time do you do your show at eight o'clock and then you're home?

It's not my dick. I did the 145 spot there closed every show for 20 years. I know, but now you won't do it. Well, dude, I got a fucking, you know, I'm 51 and I'm fucking tired at 10.35. What do you want to do? I left it up to you. You and all you clock suckers to take left it up to you you would all you

Clarksackers to take over the helm and you guys just failed You failed you started you started treating comedy like art. It's guys, you know No one's ever watched my act. I mean like he it's art. It's all pussy parts and diarrhea and AIDS. There's not a single part of people go very high, bro. That's not your first album. Busy fans, Busy Farts, diarrhea and AIDS. Yeah, that's it.

That's that's my bread and butter right there. And that's everybody's bread and butter. Well, the problem is is when you're when you're doing jokes like that and they're killing and then you go, I need to do something more profound. And then it just doesn't get those laughs. Yeah, you go fuck it. No more existential. It's, yeah, I know it's, uh, and if you listen to anybody, it is all pussy, farts, diarrhea and AIDS. I mean, even if I talk about the French Revolution, just some sort of fucking

Diary and they even Carlin went to pussy farts and AIDS and diary of a point. Yeah, there's no religion god queeps years pal even prior, all the greats were pussyfarts. Probably I did do a lot of fucking, like fucking, even like his profound stuff was like fuck, fuck. Oh, prior said fuck. Yeah.

He's fucking motherfuckers. It was motherfuckers. Yeah. motherfuckers. That was his fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Mother fucking. Mother fucking. That was his fuck. Yeah. Yeah. That's why it's so funny with comics. You know, that's such low brows go fuck yourself. Yeah. Funny's funny. If it's funny, it's funny. If it doesn't matter what you're talking

about, if it's dirty or clean, you know, there's clean guys, I love Ryan Hamilton. Gary Gorman's a fucking genius, but he doesn't matter, you know what I mean? I do, I think it's more important to be interested, even if you're talking about shit, it's like to be interested, because some people are clean, but they're just not interested.

Bye, baby. Take him to truck. Oh, okay, bye. Say goodbye to Don, everybody. You're a favorite fucking friend. Bye. Bye gone everybody. I don't fucking friend Don I mean I bring you here you love me and then you turn on me as soon as this broad opens their mouth What's prior alive when you started in comedy when did he die? No, I prior was life. Yeah, prior was absolutely

Was he he was he was like sick and old, was he? Well, not at the beginning of it, but at the end, yeah, I remember I saw him in front of the comedy store one night, getting a wheel chair, or he was in a wheel chair getting in the limo. Okay. He was very sick, couldn't really talk. And he was doing his performance?

I think he said he's tried a little bit of something like that. He was doing something. Yeah, it wasn't pretty, you know. But yeah, he was sick. The one I wish I met was Don Rickles, man. Don Rickles is one of my favorite comedians. Even though if you look back, there was a, it was a little easier back then to do stand-up because you had an act and your act was your thing and you can add to it, but you're act like if you look at Don Rickles, he did a lot of same jokes on

the tonight show that he did. He did him repeats. Joan Rivers repeated a lot on Johnny Carson. They would go on with jokes. They would write jokes to talk in conversation to be on the tonight show, to kill. Make Johnny laugh, and then you have these people fill up these rooms in Vegas and all over the country. But they repeated a lot. I spent the drive up here. I watched Joan Rivers over

and all her Carson. I watched the documentary on her. And Joan Rivers was, God damn it, she was one of the funniest people ever. Yeah, I mean, her jokes were fucking great. And she was a die hard, die hard, defendant of free speech in the fuck the woke. And yeah dude, she was, you know, she was one of the big ones man. You know, I never really mentioned her when I talk about my favorite comics, but I'm actually gonna start.

She was amazing. Watch your carcins, watch all those. They're fucking great. And then you see her live act and she's improv and she's fucking with people. She's saying a rage of shit. And then she's telling members, she used to go, oh, please, please.

Well, grow up, grow up. She used to go, oh, oh, oh. Remember that thing she used to do? Yeah, I guess. Oh, oh, oh, oh, remember that thing she used to do. Yeah, I guess. And yes, Bush, she was around. How long did her career was worth? 40, 50 years.

Something crazy like that. Yeah, dude. You gotta be, you gotta be something special to do that. But they were fucking with it. When the woke things started happening, the political wreck stuff started happening back in the 90s. Late 90s and then into the 2000s, they would try to get her. I mean, there's one interview with her with a news lady or the interviewer was like,

is it bothered you that when you say certain things and I know you bring it to the edge, you're a little edgy and some people people might get offended, and she snapped. On this note. She's like, oh, who are you doing? What are you doing? Nobody should get offended. It's comedy, it's joke. You tried this interview, became some type of,

and she attacked this lady. Oh, nice. And this, Fony, Fony interviewer, who, I mean, they're all a dime a dozen little phony puppets that these stupid networks put into play to do these dumb interviews. They suck. They're spineless, fake, fucking hypocrites. Every one of them, fuck them all.

They're all scumbags. And, and Joan just stuck it to her, just nailed her with it. I think I think she walked off the episode, she walked off the interview too. Nice, good. Yeah, Joan Rivers did it, of course, but trees that epic video of him smashing that lady on Fox News.

Yeah, that was great. Yeah, she had a very similar one. I was excited too. But Joan was the best man. Joan Rivers was the shit She was doing fucked up comedy back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah She was hot too when she's young right not one day in her life, which she ever fucking hot Literally, I thought I saw a young young like her first

It wasn't literally I thought I saw a young young like her first Whatever I'm gonna do bring that up bring up Joe Rivers. I mean don't ever is hot naked You're you're out of your fucking mind and you love you love a polio look Yeah, yeah, I guess you're you're out of your fucking mind look at those nostrils you're out of your fucking mind. Look at those nostrils. Go look at the top right there like the more modern version of her. Yeah the latest version. Don't tell the left of that. Yeah look at that. You wouldn't crack that open. No dude. Somebody are you crazy? That looks like a fucking old Bobby dog. Are you out of your mind? Dude all day. all day with what? That's it that's that's top shelf

with the ones who are left with the crazy shirt No, not that crazy shirt up one you alluded dick with the fucking colored one with the purple background Oh my god, I can't stand you. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's top notch. Dude, top notch. What? That looks like fucking Ryan Hamilton and drag. That's stupid shirt. I hate that shirt. If a Donovan came home with that shirt, I'd fucking fucking throw into the woods. Looks like church glass. It really does. Looks like a gay chessboard.

Mark that she's not one day in a life. I mean, but she made fun of it. That was the greatest thing. She knew she was just a dog. Yeah. Yeah. She had a lot of jokes about being a fucking dog man. She was funny man. Very funny. Like, um, what's his name? That's before any surgery. Oh my god, man. That's good. Yeah. No. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, Frank or something Won melinsky that's your name Yeah, very funny man very funny. Oh My god, yeah So we get these we got these questions we have the questions. We have any questions, fam? Yeah, I sent them in the chat. Oh, thank you.

Also, but just so I'm going on vacation tomorrow. I'm going to somewhere near Tampa. I'm flying into like Sarah Saratosa or something. Do you know that? Saratoga. Saratoga. No, Sarasota. Sarasota, yeah. And then I'm staying in some place that has like a fake name. Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Saratoga Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a great question. But Florida is like, no. What could I get Cuban food, I guess, but this isn't. Is that only in Miami?

Get a fucking Cuban sandwich. No, dude. Sarah, Sarah Soda is one of the hottest places to go. It's the best beach in the country. The best, the best beach in the country is in Sarasota and one of the best comedy clubs in the country is in Sarasota too. I think it's called Barbosa's. It's called Barbosa. You have to, Cafe Barbosa, dude. Go there, the guy who runs it is the fucking best.

He's the best. That's the club? No, it's Cafe Barbosa is the restaurant you need to go to an eat. Cafe Barbosa. Cafe Barbosa, man. It is the best food you'll have. He takes that to me.

Yes. Look it up to me. Please. Yeah, look it up on Instagram. Cafe Barbosa. Bring up some of that food if you get a chance. My lord. And then I'm doing side splitters on Sunday to 17th. Please come out. Yeah, anybody, you got to go check out column.

He's again, you like this. Pissed shit AIDS diarrhea. Yeah, if you like fucking pussy farts diarrhea and AIDS, where if you have any of those three. Yeah, come on, then. Don't you think a pussy fart is rude of a woman? Um, yeah, but I'm not like cracking them out the dinner table, Eddie. Yeah, but a pussy fart, isn't that rude?

Um, I think it's mostly, it is rude. It's definitely rude for sure. I think it's rude. Early on lady like, I'll tell you that. I know. And they blow it off like he he. They yeah, they go. And then they yeah, what a yeah, they laugh like like a Japanese school girl.

There you go. Look at this food, dude. Scroll through that. Oh, Lord, dude. Oh my God. Dude, the food at this restaurant will knock you dick off. Oh, you'll knock you fucking dick off the pizza, theas the meatballs everything. It's fucking to die for You'll love it dude. You'll love it. Oh my god. Look at that. What grandma pizza fucking Suck up. All right. Get it off. It's gonna make me hungry. I gotta have a protein shake Yeah, I do I think pussy farts of rude You know, if you fought it during sex out of your assholes, you'd probably be disgusted, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Why isn't it different when they fart through their pussy? I think it's a, it's a, because it's different. How? Because

the fart from your pussy's not like gas. It's like trapped there. Your dick is bringing in air or something. Yeah, well, it brings in somehow your dick can through the force brings air in and it creates too much. Creates like a vacuum type thing and it has to pop out. Well, man, do me a favor. Why don't you do some kiegos and get your push back together?

That's fair. They should not. And the girls are blaming it on the penis. Listen, that's not. Well, stop getting blown up by you. Bach. Have a regular, have a regular dick in you once in a while and stop having so much extra air.

That's there's, there has to be a science. Oh yeah, I'll have somebody step step on your stomach before you bang somebody. Yeah, do some stretch it. Do something some yoga. Yeah, get that. Get that hot air balloon out of your fucking plus.

I need to hear that. I don't grow shit. Yeah, it's a it's a noise too. That's like fed up. It's always shit. Yeah it's a it's a noise too that's like fed up it's always like yeah it sounds like a pussy fucks down like a fucking annoyed lion like a like a fucking horse who's just sick of the day fucking horses just sick of the day. Shit. All right. Listen, let's get to some of these questions. You're going to wrap this up.

All right. Do you hear about the, uh, here we go. Hey, Colin, Colin, yes. What you dream? The dream? Patreon tier? My oh at a thousand subscribers. I'll quit my day job That's it so how much is it? A thousand people a Thousand people and you quit your day job. I'll quit driving trucks But that's not even a

Fuck face everybody would do that Whatever It's not even a tear that's just if you join my page you're not getting to quit my day job. Yeah, no shit Yeah, that's exactly it What do you want me to say I'll fuck a buy a pair of Jordans? It's the same shit. It's all it's all gimmick It's all it's all just horse shit. I know and ask Everybody if I get if I get a thousand patreon members, I'm gonna fucking quit my day job All right, but that's not as impressive

Is this podcast? Okay, okay. Oh, that's your podcast is your day job. Is that what you're saying? Yes. You did something like at 2000, my another tiny home. You're just telling them what you're using the money for. All right, here we go.

How about the $1,000 you're using the money for. All right, here we go. I want the one for $1,000. You can rent the tiny home. You don't have to be more than that because I know whoever rented this fat JC would just jizz everywhere he could jizz for the whole weekend. And then he would just, he would send me pictures of him jizzing over the years. Just me and Don lying in bed and he'd send me a picture of him jizzing right where my pillow is. I can't believe Norm's Norma Donald special got nominated. Oh yeah, for an Emmy. Did you see it? No. It wasn't good, was it? Moosh, did you see it? Yeah, it was, it's just him talking to himself and he can tell he's just trying to get

the jokes recorded, but he's not really performing. What? I don't know. Look, I didn't watch it yet, but just so many things to fucking watch constantly. But why didn't he just record it properly? Is that because of pandemic? So this was the material he had done before the pandemic and then during the pandemic, he was like, all right, let me just record

this just in case. Yeah. Well, and he was really sick. So he was supposed to go in and get surgery. So he was recording it just in case he died. I don't know. Yeah, he made the best of a bad situation. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. What are you saying Bobby doesn't deserve an Emmy? You're saying it dead man Doesn't deserve yeah, I'm saying yes, no it doesn't a fucking Emmy is a great special Yeah, okay, just because you're fucking a lot of people die a lot of people shit happens to people and just because you squeak out of fucking Zoom and then you stupid whoever it is puts it out on Netflix And here's a ton of money. I know everybody loves Norm. I get it. I get it. He's what he's a fucking hilarious comedian

But an Emmy what is an Emmy now? Is an Emmy just a fucking? Is that just You know some type of charitable thing or is an Emmy and Emmy? Yeah. Is an Emmy a fucking award for the best stand-up or is Emmy? If you get sick or something happens or if you have MS or if you have some disease or if you're this or that, you get to be nominated for an Emmy. Yeah, but yeah, so the guy who has a fucking holy shit special this year

Fucking special is yes the battalion To a special that's not that good. His special's not that good. Did Louis? Louis got nominated for something We get nominated now for a Grammy. Yeah, yeah, you won the brand. He didn't get nominated for a Grammy. For a Grammy, yeah, yeah. You won the Grammy. You didn't get nominated for an Emmy. What's the, I honestly genuinely don't know the difference. What is the difference between these two? Emmy is basically TV and Grammy is audio. Did he get nominated for an Emmy?

Who got nominated? Well, it's not on TV then. Luis wasn't on TV. And I guess, although is Netflix technically TV, I don't know what the fuck. Extremely now. It's like, it's really on TV then Louise was on TV. I guess although is Netflix technically TV? I don't know what the fucking Extreme me now. It's like it's really convoluted now. You know how it is. It's the industry. They have these things where it looks good to fucking vote for I know I know, but it's just this such fun. They're so transparent. Yeah, like last remember last year didn't they nominate that you know that curly Herodid one that she cut off Trump's head. What's her name? didn't they nominate that you know that curly-headed one that she cut off Trump's head what's her name?

Cathy Griffin. Yeah, Cathy Griffin. She got nominated for something for a special that no one ever watched ever, you know, and it's just like they're just taking all these boxes of putting up these people. They're not really... They're not watching all these specials, are they? I don't know. I don't know, but I got fucking the kids coming... all the kids are coming back to the house right now. So let's get to your occasions.

He was not nominated. It was Chappelle, Adele, Harry Potter, Norm McDonnell, and one last time. It was for outstanding variety special. It wasn't just for fun. Okay. Chappelle, Ryan Yahoo. How many potatoes did your family consumed during the potato famine?

Stupid. Probably enough to survive. I don't know. All right, you should just hit 36. Fucking dumb question. Max O'Connor, Irish American and Puerto Rican woman. FMK. Fuck my- I'm gonna say max O'Connor Irish American and Puerto Rican woman FM K book my

Fuck Mary kill okay an Irish American and Puerto Rican who would you fuck who would you marry who would you kill that's a good question Oh, so does an Irish an American and a Puerto Rican yeah, I would I Would marry the Irish one. Okay, I would probably fuck the Puerto Rican Bingo and then kill the American. Yeah, you go to get up, booby. It's a little shit up. Get in call the fuck on the minute. You want to talk to me. Bobby, I made you a cup of tea. I like coffee you whore.

Okay. Okay. No fucking. Bobby, I made you a proper breakfast. Yeah. I want pancakes, you can't. I don't want blood sausage every day. Who you listen to the Puerto Rican?

I don't know. You do not marry the Puerto Rican. You kill't know. You do not marry the Puerto Rican. You kill you fuck her. You fuck her Puerto Rican. The best sex in my life is a Puerto Rican. And then I marry the American like I did because I love the stars and stripes. And I love that America. I don't have the wrong hat on. But listen, and then I kill that dumb Irish chick. That's fair. All right ready? St. Ben callie as a fellow truck driver. I want you to quit your job and do this full time.

How close are you? Not close at all. Trust me, but I will wait. We'll be both waiting a while. Well, buddy, I'm telling you right now you're one of my favorites and I 100% guarantee you're gonna get there You keep plugging away keep doing this. You're in at the cell. If you look at your career It's already progressed in the last year a fucking ton when a lot of guys haven't gotten 15 years You've gotten the last year. So keep it up, keep kicking ass. That's the trouble. Funny, I need to make money. I know, you're gonna get there. Trust me.

Where is the money, Buffy? I spent a lot of years, 350 for rent, eating fucking Chinese food, once a day and at the seller, once a day, and that's it, and I had no money. I had to take the bus to gigs. I had to take the bus, I mean day, and that's it, and I had no money, I had to take the busted gigs. I had to do it.

I mean, it was terrible for years. But I'm telling you, man, you, you're one of those guys that has got it. You got the drive, you got the willpower, and you're fucking hilarious. So, you beat the power. Call everybody where you're going to be again. Yeah, I'm coming up in Tampa. Side splitters July 17th, then I've got dates coming up in only pleasant,

Boston, rally, North Carolina, and Vegas and some other stuff. You can get all of those tickets at columnterral.com. Thank you. There you go, brother. And come back on again when I'm back in town. When you're back. when you're back August Let's do a let's do a man versus food

New like Chinatown in New York or something and we'll make it for the patreon All right, we'll do something. We'll just eat our fucking faces off. I'm not really eating like that anymore dude Well, I'll do I'll do a wish rod. Why don't you why don't you do it in front of me and see how long I can last with that fucking trying to get some. How's that? Yeah. Why don't I feed you? Yeah, you will reverse it. A fat man feeds a skinny man. Yeah, but you don't feed me that much just a little. Yeah, it's a little bit. We'll put it on Patreon. Reverse it. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. All right. Listen, I got to wrap this up. Mike Vs. For us, check him out.

We have the names. Oh, let's read the names. Bring them up. Call him. You read him. All right. Where are they? Night there. We got John Durcott.

John Deco. And I say how much? No, just keep code? John Deco. Hey, how much? Now just keep going. John Deco, Zach, Jerry, Jerry Ari. Jerry Ari. Jerry Ari. Malicious Rift. Woo.

Jay O'Poe, Peterman. John, Alaman. Kippie's downstairs neighbor. From, must be IU garbage, friends. Max O'Connor Turner W. Petit pet it. Turner you pet it and that was the mall. man I want to thank you guys for being a member. I hope you like to shout out and thanks for being a part of this. Hope you stay with us tomorrow. One question before we leave.

Yeah. What tier would it be for you and Colin do that See the thing Jesus that's what I was telling you about look Chugan just chugan large. That's just like a pizza blended up with yogurt and then the But you're on a diet so you can be slim fast. So what how much here would that be? That would be the five hundred dollars tier. Okay, $500. Call them, we'll shotgun or flip-flas to Bobby guys. Yeah, perfect. All right, listen, I'm going to wrap this up.

Much what do you got? I follow me at Mike Vs. Whereas if you're watching live, I'll be at the stand on Thursday. And maybe in Florida in August, we'll find out what's happening. You're in. Okay, cool. And then I'll be at the actually finally got a touch on me

yesterday. I said, yeah. I'm going to be on for Charlotte with the hilarious Bobby Kelly, opening not on tour with but opening for Bobby Kelly. Yes, I know. I hate that when the middle of the dude and I'm on tour. No, you're not.

Alright, of course, new Nikki, you're the best thanks for putting this together. We'll be back next Tuesday right here live from the tiny house. And we're doing the extra episode, I think on Thursday. I'm going to get in here. So I think on Thursday. I think on Thursday.

So you guys are the best, like, subscribe, and comments. Max, say goodbye. Goodbye. How was camp? How was camp? Great. What'd you do today? We can do it to Moon Island in my back hurts in my arms hurts and I feel like I'm gonna die. All right, well we'll see you guys next week on You Know What The

Listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com you