Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Colum Tyrrell, Raanan Hershberg "Snappy Names"

Episode Date: September 18, 2022

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Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de de mao a Madrid.

Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, un abici! Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o Sensación de Vivid. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Solicitate veca en fundación la caixa.org these back again. You know what, dude? What's up, everybody? We're back in the studio live. It's been months, maybe two months, maybe three months. Let's call it a year. I haven't been back here in a year. Let's make it, let's make it a year. How long has it been, Nikki? At least a month because you were on tour with Louis came back for one episode

and then went to the tiny home. I was in the tiny house for two months. So it's six months. That checks out. Yeah, that tracks. Back in the studio, New York City, Tuesday night, pussycat, then came over here, went to the cellar, talked to Rachel, talked to Sam, talked to Keith, dumb Keith, Colin Quinn, saw Liz, and now back up in New Nikki. We got a great show for you tonight. I'm very excited. One of my favorite young box. You know I fucking, you know I pick them.

Dan Soda Joe list. Lewis Gomez. I mean, all of them, and this is the new motherfucker, right here. Give it up for Colin. Stand up and applaud everybody. It was too much. It was too much. It was too much.

I got lost. And I said I got an embarrassed, too. I got lost. I didn't know where I was going. They hyped them. No, they were like, oh, it's just Colin. I got lost. Just Colin just Carl. I got lost. Just Carl.

Yeah, I got lost. Who else to find? Joe D'Rosa. Joe D'Rosa was the OG. He's the OG. You found him. He's the first one. Well, not wow.

I mean, no. Well, Jay and D'Rosa came together. They were a package deal. I think Keith brought those assholes. Oh, Joe D'Rosa came up with those. Yeah, he came up with Big J. Yeah, him and Big J. He just came brought those assholes. Oh, Joe D'Rose, okay, I'm up with those. Yeah, he came up with Big J. Yeah. Him and Big J, he came to the same thing. Oh, wow, I didn't know.

And we have another guest coming in. He's a little late, which is very unlike him. It's very unlike him giving his, you know, he's a very precise young man. Oh, he're so skinny. Thank you, buddy. You too. All right. Ronon is here.

Wow. It's like a whole different guy. I'm the same person. I'm the same person. You seem gentler. Are you happy in? They're not working. Are you happy?

Am I happier that I can tie my shoes? Yeah, I'm a little fucking happy. Yeah, all right. Am I happier that I'm gonna see my tie my shoes? Yeah, I'm a little fucking happy. Yeah, I'm happy. Am I happier that I'm gonna see my son grow up? Yeah, I'm a little fucking happier. Am I happier that I can wash my balls from behind? What? Yes.

Waster balls from behind. Yes. You don't have to do that, though. No, but if he can, go and do it. Oh, my, put a leg up, grab your sack from behind and scrub him up. I guess it's the idea that you couldn't be forced. Exactly, that's the point. But if you can't deconstruct myself.

If you can do it, you probably, like, I don't need to. If you can be able to do it. But the idea that you couldn't do it was the appealing. There's no reason why you shouldn't. What, what, what's that? Ains. I got keto. I actually got an 1985 Ains.

The original Ains. The original Hivea. Oh shit. I fuck it swall the teaspoon of it. I feel like the AIDS now, they don't even call you if it shows up on that. No, I got the, you have to call them. I got the strand that Tom Hanks got. I got the one.

Yeah, I'm out, I'm dying six months. Don is a lesbian moving into the tiny home and Max is going to call and Quinn and Jen. They're going to move up to our house. I'm going to fucking hit the pavement. I just watch Philadelphia on the plane the other day. Of course you did, you fucking sissy. There is a part in it. He likes to jerk off.

Fuck, go sleep. He likes to watch your nice romance. There's a part in it when someone's being hobophobic, but he says the... Me and Colum right now. But he says the funniest term for gay people. It's such a weird, this bartender goes, I agree with you about one thing, these 2D frudies make me sick.

And it's like, it's weird to be like homophobic and rhyming, like a fun way, like 2D frudies, a fun thing. Yeah, that reminds me of cereal. Yeah, I know. It's weird to sell like a fruity. It's not like a time of fruit loose, but also be bigoted. Bigoted and rhyming is just kinda just kinda, you know, we,

well you know they wrote that in because it was pillow bite her. It was nine other versions of that scene and someone came in and look, can we say 2D3? Oh, they call it pillow bite. Is that because if you're getting fuck in the ass, you bite a pillow? Yeah, you get a big pocket of butt.

You better put something in your mouth like that. It's not because maybe you have to bite while you're getting a fuck in the ass. To keep from what screaming? Dude, let me tell you, have you ever got a cock in your ass? You don't know how much that hurts. I remember I had a cock in a bag. Well, then you've been pegged?

Yeah. I think we talked about it last time. Oh, sorry. I actually told you that. You had that same shock. You had that same shock. Because I just can't see you getting fucked in the ass with a dildo. Thank you.

And I'm glad you don't eventually get a fuck call with you. I just also can't imagine. I feel like you were pressured and dildo. There's some guys I keep, some rich boss I can't. Yeah? Do you regret doing it? I don't regret it. You were dating some chickens.

You was like pressured you into doing this, right? And then she left. Anyway, she didn't pressure me. She asked and I'm the kind of guy who I just say, yes, just shit. See, sad. Yeah, just the cuck. Yeah, I just, you were asked, raped.

Yeah, he didn't want to do it. He was like, it's like Jim carries, you know, yes, man, that movie. I love that. You're like more like, I guess. You like that movie? Yeah, it's a good Saturday afternoon. So I was sick and I was like, with that movie,

it's a man, so it's all fun. But if it was a woman, it would just be her getting raped. That's the difference. For a woman, it's just like a series. I've watched that porn. Yeah. For a woman, yes, man, it's a series of me two situations. And for a man, it's just sky diving, screaming.

I can't believe that. Did you get to pick the penis? I forget if I asked you that. No,'t put that. Now, was did you get to pick the penis? I forget if I asked you that. No, she ordered something. She's Christ. She had no fucking say in the matter. No, when you get paged, you tend to not. It's hard to boss.

I want this still though in my ass, okay? Yeah, I'm called the shot. You're negotiating. You're definitely negotiating. Well, she ordered and she wanted to try it and... What color was that? Got this pillow, Biter. She's just going, let's go. I actually watched a video, a porn video.

No, I did. I watched a porn video with a strap on. Uh-huh. It got too mean. The girl was banging the guy. I don't like the guy. I'm not a dumb thing. Yeah, I don't know what I mean.

And it got, because I get, like, dude, I get, I start talking, like, giving the guy pep talks. Like, say something. Yeah, you stick up for yourself. Yeah, you start rooting. You want to bring him to the side and go, come on. Yeah, like, she was dignity. Yeah, she was talking down him,

and then she called him a little pig. I said, come on. You're like, it's too much. The black guy watching the hormones, like, get out of there, you're like, that works the porn, you're like, come on you're like it's too much the black guy watching harm was like get out of there You're like that or support you're like come on say something crap on point get out of there Right away It's also what you want them saying like you're the best yet you you would do it wouldn't you? I I think I I would do it. Yeah, not a no. I think I could find myself in a situation

Really? Yeah, you should know it's not that I like getting I like I like getting dominated you do Yeah, it's because I'm so dominant public, you know, we say this to be racist What a great interest What are you first of all? I know a lot of Jewish guys that are ended being dominated Well, can I just say this? I'm happy you said it was a race. Unlike whoopi Goldberg, you at least admit that Judaism is a race. That's already more woke, you know? Oh good, I'm glad.

Glad I'm woke to know. I'm not going to be looking. What, what, what, what, what, whoops. What, whoopi, whoops. I felt like a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. Much of wokeies on the street.

I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not going to be a splur. I'm not gonna have this time. This is my queer Jew guy, I'm getting canceled. Tookie, wookie. Now you're skinny, you're fucking worried about getting canceled, you're like, Oh yeah. I'm not getting canceled.

The chicks that can cancel me have fucking dying a cancer. They're all fucking junk. They don't have the energy to fuck. That was fun. I thought I'm not getting canceled. I've never done anything. Instead, you're like, the women are too old.

Yeah, this, yeah. I was talking to Keith about that. First of all, Keith, I was like, dude, all the meanest shit that's ever been done to me on the internet are said to me. And there's been some terrible things said to me on the internet. The meanest thing ever was somebody sent me

my net worth, a photo of my net worth. It fucked me up for a month. I was hurt by feeling so I was like, what the fuck? Oh, it's a celebrity network. It was so good for a month. I was like, what the fuck? Oh, it's a celebrity network. But what the right was, there's no chick who's gonna meet to me. Yeah. I think it my network. I think I'm saying it worked.

Was it accurate? It wasn't accurate, but it wasn't not accurate. It was more like they didn't add up, you know, my wife's car. It's a Honda CRV. It's boring. It's boring. It was more like CRV pouring. It's pouring. It was more like it wasn't enough that it should be on the network. Oh, three hundred thousand.

That's not bad. But I mean, it's not right. It hurts. It hurts. Well, it hurts because it feels like it shouldn't be on the list. It's just dude. Come on, dude. I'm an Abercali's American.

Irish American stand up and actor of network. Where are the bottom? Back to the bottom. It was his long-term. That's no for appearing. You're since long time day in cook in the org as toward the bottom. No, the bottom. No, the right there read that. No, the other one.

2020. Robber's Robber. Yeah. Robber's career received a huge boost in 2004 after he appeared on the CW show Ring My Bell, which start fellow comedian Doug Bell. Nice. Wait, do they bring you out to that? That's the, please don't click on it.

Please don't click on it. Please don't click on it. Please don't click on it. Please don't click on it. You gotta do it now. Please don't click on it. No! 5,000.

Doug Bell's fun. Wait, they'll list someone having that, wait, is that a Joker? That's it. That's Jim. Oh, that's Jordan, oh yeah. This one was a perfect thing. Oh, that's right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Stupid F-C-W show that he had that I was on that gave me my success Yeah, good see he has five thousand dollars. I Can't stand I can't stand them. They're so funny. I'm not picture though. That's not Jim in the pictures It yes. Yeah, that's Jim Wow Doug Bell. That's him doing the character, but this is my he's much thinner now, too It Doug Bell is that's him doing the character, but this is much thinner now too. It Doug Bell is terrible. That's like this year, right?

Oh, that's horrible. He just has his mouth open. He just does that a bit of stuff. Look at that, I'll flip. That bird lip. Look at that, it looks like somebody just ripped a beak off of a baby bird. Talking about Ron on.

No, not as juicy lips. What are you talking about? Oh, look at those fucking big, that's fucking taking that clean in that dildo off of you. I forget this, but it was all right. I didn't like getting packed. It was, she was rough. Of course.

Yeah. Yeah, no gr... You have to set the rules. Yeah. Nuts. This is nuts. I do, I'd be pushing, holding back the whole time too. Like, well, no, no.

I do a line about it my standard, but it is. I do say it is the way to explain it. Like, I did it because I like a finger in the ass. And then when I did it, it turns out a finger is the perfect size, which is like, I liked it on a finger. You know what I mean? Yeah, and start out with the small fingers. There's different size fingers to be put in asses.

You're right. She's like the pinky. You start here, you go over here, you're back here, over there, and then you go to the bottom. She had just tried the pinky, and I was like, for the next thing, can we try a black dildo? Black. Hey, you know that, I wouldn't walk by.

That's during my Tyson's call when he was in prison. Yeah, she's like, you want me to try about, index finger at first? No, no, no, no, we're beyond that. Yeah, you're right. So how'd you lose weight, man? I need to lose weight. My doctor told me to, I had to lose weight.

I'm at that point. What do you mean you died? What happened? I don't know. I went to the doctor and he told me I had to lose weight, which is, I thought you don't even allow to say anymore. You look, why not? I don't know.

Is it a fat shaming? No, it's fat shaming. Let me go. Look at this fat whore. Hey, fat tits. I'm trying to get my doctor, Kessel now. I'm like, on Twitter, like do it. Do your best Twitter, have a name.

Can't you let me call you a 2D-3D? Good, dude, you're not bad. What are you talking about? I don't know. I do diets and I fuck up and I get fat on every diet. Well, I mean, dude, it's, what'd you do? What's the secret? You gotta eat, right?

Yeah. You gotta move every day. Yeah. And you can, no sugar the secret? You gotta eat, right? Yeah. You gotta move every day. Yeah. And you can, no sugar, no grains, no carbs. I have no caffeine, no red meat. Wow, let's start out. Okay, and then just quickly became a nightmare. But here's, like, you gotta move around a little

and also no more joy in your life. I walk. I walk. Well, here's the thing, what joy am I missing? But you have caffeine, that's not caffeine? To caffeinated. Why can't you do caffeine? What do they have to do with it?

Because I, 51 and the caffeine, my heart rate was high. Oh, so that's not a losing weight thing. No, when you get older, it's like, dude, caffeine's not good for you. I know, it's a drug. It's not good for you. So while I was doing this, I'm like, I might as well do this. Okay, how do you feel without caffeine?

I'm, I feel fantastic. Really? I have energy all day long. But how long do you take you to get to that place? It took me probably a month. Of suicidal. No, I wasn't suicidal at all. I, I did like a, just a liquid diet for a few. Like protein shakes and bone broth.

You kind of, you get the sugar out of your system and that's like withdrawing. Yeah, yeah, that sucks. Once you the sugar out of your system and that's like withdrawing. Yeah, yeah, that sucks. Once you get that out of your system, there's a lot of things I did, okay? But the main thing is moving and like walking. Just sit, just walk it. Yeah.

And then that release something, it just releases something in your brain. Yeah, yeah, there's something about walking and Just you know, it's just yeah, and I went away for two months. I went up into the country. Oh you want to My tiny house all strategic go out those all to everything out there everything in the last six months was planned Everything was planned. Everything was planned.

Even going like Louis tour, it all based around Louis tour. Even on Louis tour, I was walking every day. I was moving every day. America's the only country in the world that way. You're like, you know, we should be moving. Yeah. As humans, we should be moving. And everybody, I have a treadmill in my house.

I live in a nice suburb neighborhood, but you get paralyzed. You get paralyzed. With all the shit that you have, all the stuff that sidetracks you, all the anxiety, all the fear you have on a daily basis. As soon as you look at your phone, you're being judged,

or you're judging yourself against everything else, and then you shut down, and then when you go and you have food, it gives you releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good, and then you pass out, which is even better, because you don't have to feel or think, that's my Achilles. Yeah, I eat and go to sleep.

And then you go to sleep, and then it's all, you gotta go do spots, and then you don't work You don't do anything so to when I was in Europe doing that thing I walked everywhere. I was doing 10 to 20,000 steps Oh, you're you're with Louis and You didn't I did the thing with Louis it was I was a herb too with Louis for a month It was a month. I ate like a shit.

I didn't look up every fuck we did Rome. Yeah. We did Italy. We did Germany. We did Sweden. I woke up every single day and had a place to go. I had a goal too. I had a goal here today and I'm walking. I thought I would gain weight

because I was in Europe for like five weeks and I was eating like shit and I didn't gain any weight because you're walking so much. You walk so much, but the food is different too. Food is different. There's no poison in the food. Yeah.

And the bread is bread and everything's made to eat in the next couple of days. I mean, everything is fucking great over this. It's a different food. I'm not saying it's like, like go there and you'll get fat. I mean, there's this, your opinions of course. It leads for sure. But it's not like, but the pasta is different.

But also it's like the world, like there are so many places are not car, it's like a walking, so many walking towns. So you just say, Yeah, you walk everywhere, ride bikes or walk. Yeah. That's what I did. So then when I came back,

there was a lot of stuff that happened. And, you know, it's just, you know, I'm glad. I mean, you look great and, yeah. Yeah. I'm a fucking shocked. Yeah. It's been, I thought glad. I mean, you look great and yeah, I'm a fucking shocked. Yeah, it's been a, it's thought you were in Norton. I mean, it's been Norton.

Doug Bell. It's been a long, but there's a, it's been a long, like probably over a year, been trying to plan this out. Yeah, you look bad. You look bad. Buddy, you were getting rough, dude. It was, I was, I was, I was heavier than most defensive line players in football. I remember watching, I was watching the draft, and they put up the weight.

Oh, God. And I was like, I'm heavier than him. What were you? Three, 20. Up really? Yeah. Wow. Keep going.

When I, when we were like on the road or after that. Keep going, yeah. You went, you went 400? No, I was at, No, I hit four, did you? That's not. When I hit 300, I was like, fuck, and we have to stop. I was at 350.

Well, it happens, oh, you. Wow. 350 was what, my, was my peak. When I came back from Europe, I was 335. Wow. So, When you went to a doctor where they're like, you're gonna die or something.

No, you don't have to die right away. You lose a foot first. Oh, right. You know, fat people don't die right away. We become a pirate first. We become a pirate first. Here's the amazing thing about humans is that your body adapts.

Yeah. And number one, people around you, nobody, people care, but they don't care. Yeah. My wife, I love her, but hey, there's only so much she can do. She's not gonna sit there and go, I'm gonna fucking, it's not drugs, it's not alcohol, it's not gambling.

You're only hurting yourself. Right. So what are we, we're going out to get dinner, we're going for pizza. Everybody's having a great time. They can have one slice. It's not affecting them. It's no harm.

We went to pizza and I was fucking crying and shitting in my own pants. In the corner, they'd be like, we need to stop. But it's not, so it's like, nobody gives a fuck. Everybody let me get fat. Cause I feel like, at least for me, I feel this way, is some people have this gene in them and other people don't, this gene where well, you just gotta eat everything around you

because your body's telling you, you don't know where the next means is. This is grueling in your stomach. This is a cell called grueling. And in your stomach, the bigger you are, the more grueling cells you have. And those are the things that say, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, when you're not.

Yeah, so you get an appetizer, right? You get an appetizer, I would get, my wife would get an appetizer, I get an appetizer, and we'd eat that. And then we get a full meal, with a salad. Yeah, and then we get dessert. Yeah, and then cappuccinos. Yeah.

Now, I don't have an appetizer, I don't need an appetizer. I'll have a piece of salmon or a fish with vegetables and then I'll take most half of it home. You know what I've been doing, I've been throwing away food. Like I went to the hotel, I was in Canada. The bitch in the counter gave me two cookies, just warm. You can't say no, you can't be like.

Yeah, you can. But do you feel like the Grinch, like you can't do the way for me? No, you with the fuck, what are you talking about, you fat, but you feel like the Grinch like no, you can't either way from no You with the fuck what are you talking about your fat fuck? No I don't want to wake up. You just say I don't have any children with I don't know. I don't need the cookies You're giving you here's too warm cookie. Yeah, you can't be like take get the boy out of your hair And I think she's like here's a needle. Here's a spoon. I know it's fucked up that they give it to you without even asking You know, you can just say no, it was this. I got issue on the plane. Who can I'm in Canada? They don't have eating issues there.

Everyone they saw you and like this. I brought up stairs. I'm there like it's like you know, you know, you're I understand I get it. You ever see the movie flight Robert's or meckas where you see the little alcohol bottle in the room? Yeah, I'm like that was the cookies in the hotel room. I am too. I threw them in the toilet fluts you down the toilet But here's like the fans are coming in like good kids came in after Sorry, we ran out of cookies and they're in the fucking toilet because you can't just say no Or give it to like a homeless person Yeah, no, they don't deserve it. I've been throwing away food. I'm doing that. By food throw it away I have way I actually go to dinner

With my wife and I just go to dinner with my wife and I just get, I'll get my meal and I'll just take it home and I'll eat it the next day. And you don't have any cheap meal or anything like that? What, what, what, what? I don't need a cheap meal. I just, what, I just eat. Like dude, last night I had salmon, I had vegetables

and I had a, what was it? I had a, like a little tiny lemon potato. It's like talking had a, what was it? I had a, like, a little tiny lemon potato. It's like talking to, uh, with your, the surprise us. What's his name, Vito? Oh, Jesus. I'm blowing guys and I'm constructing something through. That's my trick.

That's what it is. I'm just sucking guys off of construction sites. That's all that's all the way. You caught me. I'm a blowing guys. If I had enough calm before noon, I'm not hungry for the rest of the day. That guy really got, he was kind of a bider character, then they really threw a lot of subplots

at him. He lost weight and was gay and had a whole thing. Well, I think because he lost weight in a lot of... You also played two characters, right? Oh, that was a lot of work. I played two characters, too, right? Wasn't he like a background guy in one of the seasons? I think it was the same character.

He just allowed the characters name or something. Really? Yeah, something weird about that. It was a weird thing, they liked them, so they brought them back. Oh yeah. They do that shit, because we're stupid. They know we're dumb.

So you're not care. But you didn't do Akins or like Keto or whatever. Well, I don't have, I don't eat any shit food. I don't just have shit food. I got like, yeah, like I have like the morning, I say it's sausage, two little sausage links and some eggs. And I'm done, I just don't eat that, I don't have that whole,

well I don't eat the meals that we eat are fucking nuts. Why do you do it? Cause you're an obsessive guy. So if you just focus, you're always addicted to shit, right? So now you're a monatic. So what are you addicted to now? Just, I'm not, I'm not the pump.

You don't think that it's a fucking pump, dude? I mean, look, the working out for me now. I hope you got fucking jacked and shredded. That'd be great. If, like, I work out, I do weights, because weights, if you're gonna lose weight and you wanna burn fat, you have to lift weights. You have to rip muscle, you have to rip muscle.

And then when it restores that muscle, it eats fat. It goes for fat. First, so you can do the treadmill all you want. You can run as, it's gonna do nothing. Tribal to, yeah. You do nothing. Running is gonna be bullshit for fat. I do the elliptical for 10 years with no garbage.

It's garbage. You can lift weights if you really go in, just lift weights, and rip that muscle, while you sleep, you'll be burning fat, because I need to restore these muscles and it just goes and eat your fucking fat. That's the way your body works. So I know that from the last time,

this is my sixth fat. You understand? So I know from my last fat how I did it, and I had this really, this body builder, MJ. She was Steve, the producer of Open Anthony, his wife. She fucking came and worked out with me for a week and told me everything about how to burn fat. I'd also like, red meat, fucks with me.

Chicken, I lose weight. You're blood type. It's all on your blood type. You kind of have no more steak, so. I can have steak, but I just don't have it right now. I just not eating, because I'm not gonna process that right. But also, I did a lot of things, man. And nutrition, there's so many things that I did. I think my new hour is, I've been working on it before

about losing weight called the final fat. And I couldn't lose the weight. I couldn't do the last one I couldn't do. I was too old. I was too much. And so this new hour is gonna be all about that. The six fats, it's gonna go from the first fat to the six fat.

I love the final fat. But it was like a solar show. Like a woolman show. Yeah, it's gonna be like a one-man show. But funny. Hopefully funny. I love the final fat. But it was like a solar show. Like a woolen mind show. Yeah, it's gonna be like a one-man show. But funny. Hopefully funny. No, no, no. We're not excused to just not tell jokes right now.

Carm like a Muslim and Amy. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, no, it's funny because I have a lot of my bits. I'm gonna, I saved a couple of the bits and the special so that I can have it in that hour. Yeah. But I'm gonna get, I'm getting, I did it tonight about losing weight.

But it's, what's your special, is it, when's it coming out wait when is your special gas should be talking on her I mean that that was but that's what he really of course of course of course. I wasn't even I wasn't even trying to be I was trying to Well, I forget I do podcast and then I'm just like I'm hanging out the podcast and forget to bring up the special I like you know talk about black gildos all the, and then I'm just like, I'm hanging out with the podcast, I forget to bring up the special, I like, you know, talk about black gildos all the time, and then I'm like, see you later, then after I was like, fuck. The hungry now, you're like, dude.

My specials coming out tomorrow. Wait, when does this come out? No, I'm fine. Okay, we're not stepping on mine. Mine's not coming out. Okay, you're the... When was the episode coming out? Where's yours coming out?

Mine is on, I sold it to YouTube. You sold it? They picked it out. They didn't want you to change anything. We talked about it. We decided that a special by me is what they're looking for out my YouTube page. Are you giving you a special away for free? Hell yeah baby. That's the new way.

What are you talking about? No. You guys hang on one second. I have to contain my rage. It's a new gen, this is a different world now. Witting. It's no, you gave up. You did. You turned down all those offers.

You turned down all those offers. You tried to sell it? I gave it to you fuck. I mean, that's a comedy central. They said it was too funny, it was ruining their brand. I don't know. I want to ask you something seriously. Yeah.

Because I just went through the Justin McKinney, who put his special on YouTube for free. Great, by the way. His special is unbelievable. Very funny. Did you try to sell it? I said to the, I talked to the comedy central YouTube page. That's it.

They didn't, I emailed them once and then they never got back in second time. You do have representations. Do I need a shift for you? They do some, but I wanted to put it on YouTube. At the end of the, look, it's not gonna be on Netflix. Can I say something about you though? Like for me to write a special takes you up two years.

Yeah, I, it has to be It has to be a personal thing. I'm not very topical. And it's kind of story-ish, you know what I mean? But you write your constantly coming up with new stuff. So for you to give a special out on YouTube, you'll have another one in a fucking month. Yeah, so you're already having it all, right? So I don't write like that.

But two years is pretty quick. That's very quick. I mean,'t write like that. But two years, it's pretty quick. That's very quick. I mean, for me, it is. Yeah, I know. I thought that's pretty quick, but I think your style of joke writing is, you're like Sam Morel. Yeah, funny jokes.

It's really, I mean, it's your opinion-based stuff. Rants, it's a lot of people like it. I'm unattractive, Sam Morel. That's how. That's successful. I mean, just Samaril. Oh, not anything. Samaril got attractive while I was away. I think he's not. No, I think he's rich now. He's hot for a certain type. He's got a little like you. Yeah. Yeah. If you like the movie,

Catty Shack is also your role. He's got a smoky voice. Um, he does. No, he does smoke. But, uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean to me. It's like is it tipping on it? He I mean that my Venmo's in the Capture so they do you open with the Venmo? You sure though because you said no one's watching to the end. No fans. I like that's just the average viewer is not watching. I know everyone It's the way you put the Venmo at the end. I put it on my captions. You should've done that. I can't put it on the end of it. You should've, you should've, you should've opened your special.

Hello, my name is Ron on Hersberg. Venmo. This is my Venmo. What you're about to watch is my job, but I'm giving my heart, my blood, sweat, and just way from free for your enjoyment. But if you feel it, here's my Venmo. You could send me five bucks.

It's a cup of coffee, actually cheaper than a Kamel Machia. You understand, I'm a Jew. I'm trying not to lean into what? We didn't try to lean into the other stuff. To start in expectations. I don't wanna start a show. I'm gonna start a show, give me money. I'm a weird.

Why not? I'm a weird sheet on the wear on my head. You wanna shock anybody if you're up. I'm a, I'm a, I'm lost. I spent 15,000 dollars. Wait, you have the live tipping? I know. Yep, wait, hold on, you have the live tipping set up, right? That's live, that's during the chat, right?

During the chat, you have that set up already? I think it's already set up on its own, right? I think. No. Do a test tonight. Okay, just do an unlisted live streaming thing tonight and make sure. But I love about column, he's not fucking around. Well, he's just, Cimads unlisted live streaming thing tonight and make sure. If I love about Column, he's not fucking around.

Well, he's just, Cimadsko, I didn't know anything about the... No, I didn't, shit. I didn't. It's guy knew about fucking football and beer. Now he's fucking... I know, people figure it out and then they fucking... Well, I just, I failed a lot of times, so just do a check. Yeah, I want to make sure I got a live chat in there.

How do I test it out though? Let's talk about this out. Yeah, I can do that on my podcast. I'm sorry. Can we go back to weight loss, please? What test it out though? Let's talk about this out. Okay. Can we do that on my podcast? I'm sorry. Can we go back to Weibo? What is this podcast about? Let's go back to calories.

Let's come out tomorrow. Well, it's out live right now. Oh, it's live? Yeah, there's people listening right now. Oh, right. Well, tomorrow night, it's 8 p.m. Wednesday, but it'll be out when you hear it. Just go tomorrow night, watch it live.

It's called Jog from the Underground. You can go to jogfromtheunderground.com and watch it. It's good. You know, I went to, you know, Louie came. He watched it. Why do you have a website? What?

If it's on YouTube, why do you have its own website? I just, so I don't have to say, type in my name on YouTube, because I have a weird fun. We don't all have snappy names. Snappy. Snappy. And my name is real.

Our Kelly is real snappy. Rob Kelly. Yeah,'s real snapping, Rob Kelly. Yeah, I kept going. Type it, go to YouTube, type in R-A-A-N-A-N-S-P-H-E, you know. So joke from the underground. You know, if that was your promo, H-E-R-S-H-E. My name is not good for comedy That's the idea that the viewer

3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1 Esta es la 3x1 señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3x1 en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line ¿Saparado? 3x1, 3x1 Ah no, no, no, no They're just putting it out there. They want to make people laugh. They don't care about, you know, restrictions or political correctness. They're just doing it the way it should be done. All right. They injected the bonament. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done.

They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done.

They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They're just doing it the way it should beness. They're just doing it the way it should be done. All right. They injected the bono medicine into the penis of paralyzed man. All right. We got a bunch of stuff out there and talking about horseshit. These guys are bringing shows to the podcast platform that people have been

waiting for like our family jewels. It's an awesome trivia-based drinking game podcast that you can play along right at home. There's a dozen of messed up series you can enjoy wherever you enjoy podcasts. So get on it. Go to Guy Times Presents and check out all the hilariously fucked up messed up and check out all the hilariously fucked up messed up awesome fun shows. Patreon people, I want to thank you for being a supporter on my Patreon. It means a lot to me that you hear. I don't take it for granted. I hope you guys are enjoying the content. If there's anything else you want from me or you think it would be cool on the site. Let me know, hit us up. And that's it. I just want to say thanks for being a supporter of my Patreon. All right.

All right, thanks, dude. Right. I did the VU, yeah. And everyone does it there. Yeah, I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even.

I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. I'm not even. This fucker was trying to convince me to do it at the fat black bar. Well, the fat black bar, I'll tell you why, I wanted you to think about that because, dude, listen, since I was the first one to film a special at the comedy cellar, Villagina.

Yeah, yeah. It's, there's been a million people have done it. So that backdrop is in everybody's special. Well, it looks like, it looks like a set. Well, Joe listed his thing. Joe, this Sam, I mean, I'm- No. Well, Joe listed his thing. Joe lists Sam. I mean, I'm- No, Joe lists has like his name and lights behind it. But it's still that iconic Rick Wall.

But I think like, I'm a bit of a, I don't want to say nobody, but like- No, we can say that. I'll say it. I'll say it. I'm a bit of a nobody. We're gonna put the captain on you right now. At nobody.

No, make sure, right now, time stamp. I'm a bit of a nobody, so sometimes I I think if I have the comedy seller behind me, it's a little, some kind of legitimacy. If someone's randomly living maybe 10 years ago. Yeah, I know. But what you need is a fucking TikTok agent. Fucking braids. You're in.

I know it's so depressing. Cowbid is so. So of saturated. Happy every 20 something years, comedy gets over saturated, and then it will fucking die, people won't go see it, it will filter itself out, you know what I mean? And then there you go.

Well, comedy now is like, it's definitely featuring the funniest people, which is the people who are hot, young, and really good at algorithms, which has always been the funniest people. Oh yeah. The people who are hot and young. How many now is good at social marketing?

How do you see us at something really interesting? It's like comedy now is acting. Yeah. What acting was, and he said podcasts are the new actors. Yeah. It's like you don't have to be good at comedy more. You have to be good at podcasting. Yes.

And be good at social media. And if you're good at social media and podcasting, you're a great comedian. But yes, somebody's got to get burnt because they build their fans on Instagram. They'll do these one-nighters and then they'll go sit there for 45 minutes and it's not good. So now they won't come back the following year. So we'll cycle it's way up. That's what we tell ourselves. I'm telling you, no, it hasn't been back in the it to the late 80s or the 90s. I'm telling you, no it happened back in the, at the late 80s, early 90s, evening at the improv, comedy calf hour,

Caroline's comedy, all these shows and every out and it's got saturated and they had to get, a pallet of people, they had to get, and it had to be clean for the funniest mother fuckers, pushed aside and it was the same thing. Rascals comedy half hour MTV's comedy have all the shit was happened and it got oversaturated. And then it fucking died. But then we stay on right? Well, if funny people stay on because you have no choice. Yeah, exactly. And then you

we're hanging on to this fucking this tree that's trying to shake you off and all these fucking losers get shook off and they go on to acting or some other form of hey I can we beat them at their own game by being too sad to leave the comedy game. I was born in the darkness. It's a bad that I've been through three booms and haven't had success from any of them. It's a very... How's it about that? Three booms, you haven't been through three booms? I? Three boobs, you have been through three boobs?

I don't know, I've been through a one boom. I've been through at 12, 13 years. How many boobs do you have? A boom and a half, a boom and a half. You're in your second, you're in your second boom. How big is a boom? A big is a boom. The half of your second boom.

Second boom and third fat. Yeah, third fat, remember my third fat. Such a beautiful fat. Yeah, oh, it was a great fat. My third fat, what was my third fat. Such a beautiful fat. Yeah. Oh, it was a great fat. My third fat, what was my third fat was, well, my second fat was with my, you know, my third fat I think was with my first real girlfriend. Oh, really?

I got so shredded in shape. I stole her away from her fiance. I was so good looking back then. Nice. And I threw the pants on the wall. I stole this, from her fiance. I was so good looking back then. Nice. And I threw the pants on the wall. I stole this, dude, this was, this was other sexy Bobby. This is just out of Juvie and rehab Bobby. And I got fucking ripped.

Yeah. And I met her. I'm currently sigratz on the neat shirt. Good, fuck yeah. I didn't have sleeves. Oh, okay. My flannel's in them, please. And I remember I hooked up with her.

I took her away from her fucking boyfriend, a fiance, who was my boss at my job. She came in to be a cashier. I met her one day that night I made out with her in the room, the restroom, not the room, the break room. I made out with her. I let her try my mother's fucking chicken catchatory

and we started making out. And then that night I met her and ate her ass haul up my Hyundai hatchback three doors. The first time you went to the eating the out the asshole? My that was my thing back then. Just go down, eat a girl's ass, and she'll lose her mind. Because there's no way her fiance was eating her ass. Because I knew there were too comfortable,

and you get too relaxed and sex. I went down there and she went, no, no, oh my God. Boom, and then take a quick swipe up top like Elizabeth. Get down there, fucking bluer. She had norgasm, we had sex, she dumped them the next day. You were just trying to get the chicken catchatory back that you gave to her. I didn't go inside, you know?

You're gonna go inside, you're not gonna go inside. We're not you. We're not gonna be a strapa. Yeah, but I remember, and then what, two years later, dude, slowly, I remember the day we were breaking up, we got a large cheese pizza, two tuna melts, each, one each. And I think some type of sprite.

And we went to a park under a tree, and it was like a hundred degrees out. And we ate all this food. We were just too fatties at this point. We ate all the food and fell asleep in the grass, like just hippos. And I remember waking up and she was sweating on her forehead and there was a fly on her eyelid.

And I'm like, we're done. It's over. Like fat? Oh, we both got fat. In the relationship. Yeah, we both got fat. She wound up cheating on me. And then...

Really, the cheater. She wound up fucking a hockey player at then... Really? The cheater? She wanted a hockey player at her college. And I had made, she had a sorority. And I airbrushed all the shirts for the sorority because I was in art school. And I remember I sped up like all night airbrushing these stupid shirts. And then she was just fucking this dude named Steve. Yeah, she left.

But then I got, and then that was it, that was my, that was my, that, that fat hurt. Because she broke up because I was a fucking fatso. I went from gorgeous to, I remember we used to go to karate together. And at the beginning it was awesome. At the end I split my gee. I just, how long? It's been a relationship.

The baggy. It was like two years. Okay. Yeah, two years. The baggy is suit of all time. Let's see if my son left me a message. I just want to say goodnight, mom too. Good night, daddy.

And I wanted a... He's very worried. I told you we're in bed now, right? Yeah, we're in bed. And we're just trying to go to sleep. I didn't have a wrap I was it right there Max. I love you so much. I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning but I mean should I end it right there you had me. I love you. Good night. Have she's trying to help him? But I'll see you.

Here we go. Maybe a little bit tonight, if I see you coming in. Okay, but you lost me. Sneakly. Sneakly, not a word. You're in fourth grade. Come on, correct them. You're the only one.

So TV, I love you. But, uh... You just whispered. I'll watch TV with you if you wake up. Did you hear that? This is voice mailer talking to him. Love you. He's trying to sneak down from the year. Bye.

Bye. Oh, too many. I told them. One is funny. Two is good. Three is too much. Wait, were you talking about that? That's a voice text. I love the kid. He sends me voice. I mean, I just I can't tell you I fucking want to I so once in a while I'll come home. I'll play the TV a little loud

So he'll wake up so he comes out and we'll watch like last night he came out. We just watched We watched Cry to kid TV show there We watched that a lot of TV show. There was a little over a guy. We watched that a little. It's a lot of fun. Dude, he's fucking nine. He's such a cool kid.

He comes out just a lot. They just lie on you, just on you. And he grabs my hand and it's just like, dude, fuck everything. That's one of the main reasons why my doctor, when you were talking before, I was prediabetic. Uh-huh.

Not a surprise to anybody. I thought you were talking before, I was prediabetic, not a surprise to anybody. I thought you were a post. But yeah, dude, it was bad. All my ailments went away. That's great. They're all gone. That's great. Rashes, isn't she? No, like my feet hurt, my back,

my, I had a pain behind my ear right here. If you touched right here, it was like somebody was stabbing me in the head. Jesus. And that was from being a fat fuck. Wow. Yeah. You know, 100 pounds to go, you'll get there.

60. 60? 60? Yeah. What's that then? What do you come in at then? I mean, I probably have 50 or 60. But what would you weigh then?

200. 200, you don't want to be less than 200. No. 220 is a good man's side. Maybe 220, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. Yeah, well you got to forget, I have muscle on me anyways.

Yeah, so I'm going to lose weight, but I'm gonna keep some of it because I'm working out, I'm turning it into, I'm turning the fat into muscle because I didn't wanna have like flabby, you know, my arms, I didn't want them to be just fucking flabby, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, you don't wanna get that whole like fucking gross stomach sink?

Yeah, so you gotta, I'm 200, I wanna get to 180. If I get to 180, I can, no, no, no, no man should a I'm 200 I want to get to 180 if I get to 180 I can no No, no no no no man should be less than 200 pounds. Well, he's on five to two My taste I was in the Lord of the Rings Fuck is your very feet. Yeah, you're a fucking six foot Irishman Alone I know I got like yeah, I know in the fact goes into weird but it goes into my face Here's a funny part about when you lose a lot of weight I know, I got like, yeah, I know. The fact goes into weird, it goes into my face. Here's the funny part about,

Lou and you lose a lot of weight. Excuse me, face put, ice cubes in my mouth. It's when you lose the fat where it went on you last first. So you feel parts of your body, like the back of your head, your hips, like you start losing weight in those places first. And you're like, oh my God, like this, it's fucking weird. I was just saying, the body's amazing

that it can actually perform and let, I'm flying, I'm walking, I'm still working, I'm getting on planes, I'm wearing clothes. I mean, I shouldn't have been able to fucking move. Yeah. You know, and the body just said, fuck it, we're gonna work it out so you can keep doing what you're gonna do.

Then it starts breaking down. That's what was happening. My knee was going, my foot, everything was breaking down. I'm getting proud. I had my fucking weight lifted for a while, and I fucking, I was doing the elliptical, and I fucking hurt my back, and now my back, I'm in physical therapy, like an old lady.

The ellipticals terrible, you should walk. It is terrible, somehow the elliptical, you don't lose weight, and it fucks up your back. It's stupid, walk. Yeah, walk, walk, and then make it go on an incline. Just slowly bring it up, and that'll bring your heart rate to normal. All you have to do is go up and down, up and down.

For a minute, bring it up, get your heart rate up to 125, and then bring it back down.. Oh, you're a treadmill walk. All you have to do is go up and down, up and down. For a minute, bring it up. Get your heart rate up to 125, and then bring it back down. That's how you lose weight. Well, not walking, but it's weights. You know what I use a lot? The resistant bands. Yeah, no, I need you, but I fucking hurt my back, man.

I'm at that age now where I'm like, oh, I'm like in pain a lot. Yeah. And I go to physical therapy now. It's like, dude, it's, I feel fantastic now. That's great, bud. I can put, I can put, I can tie my shoes, you know. I mean, I'm, I'm kidding you.

You laugh, but it sucked because I had to sit on the bed, grab my foot, like the sock with my finger, and drag my foot onto the bed, put my shoe on, and all this mind I'm holding my breath, and it hurt, like it hurt to put my shoes on. That's not good. And look dude, those times, like my shoe was untied last week and my mother let me get it, I get the fuck away.

I just pulled my shoe up, tied my shoe, and my God, you never, don't tie my shoe. Those days are over. I'm fucking out of the chicks. I'm, my don't tie my shoe. Those days are over. I'm fucking out of the chicks. I'm not. My side chick ties my shoe. I'm a little fucking worried about that. What?

Get inside, get inside chicks. It is, you definitely don't want to be so fat that like you need someone else to tie your shoes. I tell you what though, I got married, I had a kid, and that's nine years. That's kind of when I gained all the weight. And the kid, the kid years. Well, the kid fucks it all up, right?

Because it's just like snacks everywhere. That it's a lot of hard work. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you't put that into something as an addict, you step, the food is a, you know, very sneaky awesome option. And then, you know, it's like, to, you know, these nine years of with the kid, really killed me.

But it had to do a lot with that. And it also protected my marriage. Oh, it kept you from... There was some weird thing that for me, that chick, if you wanted to fuck me, there's something mentally wrong with you. Right. Like if you want, like you like, you're into this.

Yeah. You're into this. You like a chubby guy with a dead toenail, belly button hurt. You would have to fuck someone who's like, have a fetish. Yeah, like some, I know some girls would like to put in some. They like me personally, and it would probably just suck my dick just to make me happy. Yeah, it's not like they're into me,

but if you wanted to fucking be my girlfriend or my side piece, you know, so you see Bobby back in the day, I get it. But now, like, there was a girl tonight. So you're fat to preserve the marriage. It saved me. You'd be eating like a junk food. And you'd be like, what do you do?

You'd be like, I'm trying to save our marriage, okay? Quit judging me. I'm gonna write that. Can I have that? Yeah, of course, yeah. Joe write that down. I'm gonna write that claim. Yeah, of course, yeah. Joe write that down.

But yeah, it was in a weird way. It makes you, it keeps you safe. You know, like you just come home and because nobody else fucking wants you. That is what keeps a relationship going is just reminding yourself that no one wants to fuck you. This is as good as it gets.

This is the way I do. I'm in a relationship now. I try to remind myself I'm like, no one wants to fuck me. Well, I'm scared now, because I did lose weight. So sexy. It's a curse.

Sexy Bobby's back a little bit, not fully. Yeah, yeah, but it's button out. Coming out of the show. I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm better than I was, right? You got swag. A little bit of show. I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm better than I was, right? You got to swag it. A little bit of swag.

And tonight there was a smoke and hot check hanging out. I did my show and she came by herself. And she kept talking to me after. She's just so, I mean, she's a gorgeous. And I had to go, I had to literally think about my wife and my kid and be like, it is just a nice person. Hey, thank you so much. Take care and walk away. Yeah. Because the old Bobby was like, it is just a nice person. Hey, thank you so much, take care and walk away.

Yeah. Because the old Bobby was like, let's go find a vestibule and fuck you see what you get in those pants. Let me eat that ass. Let me go pick this chick up like a six pack. You know what I mean? Let me go do some- Really feel the deal quickly.

It's a 1997 comedy seller, Bob. You know? But here's the thing, go farm delusional because I would try to go, hey, she's like, no, I love you in Max. I love following you on Instagram. Right, right, right. I don't want anything to do it.

You're still fat, you cock sucker. You're not as fat. Well, that's the thing too, is people compliment, I hate the compliments. I hate the people going, oh, you look good because I know I'm not. Well, the problem is if it was the opposite way, if you would gain 40 now, I haven't got Jesus to. Well no, it's when you lose weight. The worst part about

losing weight is everybody's a fucking dickhead because everybody's like, oh you look great. You know, what'd you do? What do you think? You know how you know what I did. Everybody knows what the fuck I stopped. You moved. Stop stopping my fat face. There's a bunch of things that I did, but it doesn't matter. I'm doing it good for you. You should be, and then there's the, yeah, but you're still fat.

Yeah, I know. And then there's the dude, stop losing weight. What do you get AIDS? What do you get cancer? You look sick now. So there's so, everybody's still, that doesn't happen with heroin. That doesn't happen with drugs or alcohol. They don't give a shit about you. They just, this, there's so many layers of losing weight and you'll still never be good enough or it'll be too much.

For everybody around you that let you get that way, talk behind your back, what if that fuck you are, we're getting worried about, I never heard, like Ari said to me, we were worried about you. Well, you never came to me, you fucking skinny, fucking cut, that's a hard, it's not. Well, yeah, why, it is true. People only care about you if you're inconveniencing them.

So if you're like, yeah, yeah. Every intervention is never like, I'm worried. It's like, no, you didn't show up. It's cause of heroin. You owe me money, you know? It's the taking your money, yeah. But it is tough to, it is tough to.

Like I had a friend of mine last night come to me and say, dude, stop losing weight, you look sick. Not the most. And like, okay, six months ago, he's like, dude, you gotta do some. Yeah. It's like, you can't win with people. No.

So the accolades, I don't live in. I can't, I don't live in the accolades because it means not, it's fine. Thank you. I worked, I worked my ass off. It's also confusing. I was saying, when you're like chubby or strong, it's weight, you get people say you look thin

more than any, more than any thin person. Thin person I never like, you look thin. But I, I get told I look thin all the time. I said it to you tonight. Yeah, just cause it's like, when you're chubby, you're always fluctuating. So when you're like, you look thin, you look thin. You probably never get that.

I was fat once. For a little bit. One when. Fucking more than our life. Body and mom's that edge. Chubby, I was too. 40 or something. Oh, that's my whole wake. That's my wake, I'm trying to get that. No, it's not too 30, 230 I was two 40 or something. Oh, I turned the pandemic.

That's my way that made me get to the top. No, it's a 30, 230 I was. Oh my God. Everyone is always set up. And everyone's like, yo, you're fat and I was a gift, right? I do remember you being fat for a little bit. Fuck you. Everyone is still fat.

Everyone's only telling me I'm thin all the time. It's confusing. But because you have a flat stomach. Not now, but I got fat face. You have a fucking horribly fat face. The door is going on. Yeah, you do. He does.

It's a dorkly little chubby. But it's fucking chubby. I just want you to help me find stuff. Well, I'm like George Costanza. George Costanza, you don't have a big stomach. Yeah, the fat character on the TV show. Yeah, you're a Hollywood fat. I'm Hollywood.

Yeah, you're like Jack Black fat. I know. Yeah, I was just fat. I was like, you were, I was Disney fat. You were you're like Jack Black fat. I know. Yeah. I was just fat. I was like you were I was disney fat You were I was cruise ship fat. No, you were famous comedians who died early Yeah, I was you were like a tradition. Yeah, I was expecting it. I was expecting it to be any day now Really? I was gonna be just like Bobby's gonna be nice. You were documed I'm gonna be my first comedian. I knew it. I thought. I know I need, now I need to be him.

You were documented about tormented genius. Yeah. Did you not lose weight? Never got it. Did you not lose weight? I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain weight, which was good. Because I mean, I don't want to call my duck killing Kelly. What?

Killing Kelly. Killing Kelly. He used to kill on stage, but now he's dead. Yeah, it's like, well, you're a fat of the kid. Good, I've told you, I've been fat six times. My first fat was when my mother left the evil stepfather, the first stepfather, abused me and beat the shit out of me. And he used to call my sister fat.

He used to, my sister was headway problems too. And I was in, I think it was a third, fourth grade. Okay, so you have this fast. First, from first grade to fifth grade, was I was tormented by the sky. And my life was hell. I went from a very awesome family, Irish Catholic family.

And then I went to this five years of really physically getting a hit and abused. Then when that ended, me and my mother and my sister were in this apartment with nothing. We had no money, you know, really no food. I mean, my mother worked seven days a week, six days a week, so I was alone, had no friends, I had nothing, I had no parents.

Yeah. I didn't have a parent, like helping me through this, you know, I had a lot of kids bully me. When I was a kid, I got bullied. You're being fat? No, I wasn't fat then. Are you worried? I got fat in fifth grade.

Okay. And what I would do is every morning, I was so scared of school and being alone That's a fact in fifth grade. Okay. And what I would do is every morning, I was so scared of school and being alone and just, I was so depressed, I was under depression. I didn't know it. It was back in the 80s, in 70s. Boston, that was it.

No depression. And I would go out the front door and go around the back with my little lunch and I'd go into the basement, into the corner and I had a blanket and a pillow and I would go in there and just fall asleep all day in depression and then I'd wake up on and eat my little snacks and I actually did that for two weeks.

And what happened was my teacher called my mom, one day I had to go get, I would run and go get more snacks. And I would have my milk money. And I'd go get like Susie Cues and stuff. That's when I was like 25 cents for a drink, ring ding or Susie Cues. And I was running to get my mid afternoon depression snack. And I ran into my mom.

And she was like, what are you out of school on on my half day? And then she was like, oh, it's great. Want to share a sub? I want to was like, oh, it's great. Wanna share a sub? I wanna get a steak bomb, which was a steak and cheese with everything. I was like, yeah. So this thing just turned into this amazing day.

So she gave me the money. I went and got a steak bomb. I got chips. I'm heading back with the steak bomb. I opened the door and she's standing like, like the exorcist at the end of the hall. My teacher had called. He said, hey, is Bobby okay?

He hasn't been in school for two weeks. What the fuck? She started, fuck it. You mother fuck, you know. You cocksuck screaming at me. Well, you haven't been in school. What have you been doing? Blah, you lied.

I mean, lost a shit. You really call you a cocksucker? That how it happens in Boston? Yeah, 100%. What a weird thing for a mob to. Wow. I mean, she called me a cocksucker that how it happens a boss the app 100% what a weird thing for a mob to I just call me a cocks x come me a motherfucker. Okay, that and she even weird Like no, no, no, no, you sexy little big your thanks a cock she wanted to fuck you Little fucking weird

You're so fucking weird. Why would you at school? Jerking off moment. You want to use my fucking strap on you, you're the mother. You're the mother, you realize that. So then she, I was like, no, no, not that. No. She, I remember she was yelling at me the whole time

and I was like, I was like, I think about was like, the steak was getting cold. This sub's getting cold. Yes. I swear to God, I was like, soon as she was done yelling, I'm like, do you want to put this in the oven? Or do you, what are we going to do? Is she fucking took the sub and threw it?

Oh no, that was the worst part. I was so sad. It was, it fucking crushed me. I feel like that whole thing just defined your life completely. Just like that. Well, I teach her. Chasing that sub. My teacher, Mr. Persio, there was a father son,

Pockeluck, Pockeluck supper, and he won't have taken meckler supper, and he wound up taking me to it. And then he wound up kind of taking me under his wing. And he was a big marathon runner, and he got me into running. And I wound up running, he took me to a one K. And I remember we did the Olympics. We did the six grade Olympics against other schools. And there was the 440, which wants around the track.

And I remember he came up to me, and I'm this little fat kid, and he was kind of taking me under his wing. And he came up to me, he was like, Kelly, you better win this. You better win this for me. I want this. You get me, and I remember going, yeah, and I started running. And I remember there was this skinny black kid that was, I mean, fast, fuck.

Of course. And I won. I fucked. Beat him. I fucking, I fucking, he's he racist. It was because he was black. He was like, fucking Hitler in the Olympics. He was a whinner.

He doesn't see it anymore, you know? I beat him because I had to beat him for Mr. D, not for the white race. No, I got it, sure. But I remember I gave him the medal and he was so, and then like, he then he took me to a marathon. I ran a one mile marathon, I came in ninth, and then I ran a five mile marathon.

He got me it, I lost all the weight. It was really crazy, he took me, that was my first fat and my first skinny through that fifth and sixth grade was terrible. I got fat at eight. Eight and I've kind of been struggling with it ever since. Eight was the most fuckable I've ever been. I was eight years old.

Two pedophiles. Two pedophiles, but I had the hottest body I've ever had. Right, eight is my kids age. Yeah, you were just a normal eight. That's third grade. Yeah, third grade. I got fat after third grade. I think we're all hot and third grade.

Well, it's great. I got fat after third grade. It's crazy if you're a fat child. If you're a fat child, it's like crazy. It ruined your, there's so much, it's nuts to have a fat baby. That's just, there's so much fat trauma that I've had to deal with that.

You, I mean, everyone's like, you know, talks about different sensitivities, but no one talks about like the fact that fact kids are always perceived as the bullying movies, even though the fact kids were getting bullied, which is like having a Holocaust movie where like the Jews are the bad guy. It's like a reverse.

I've seen it. I can show you some. I can show you some. Yeah, following us. Like, hey, Jews, it's a lot of them. I'm not fuck you might want to read. I mean, it affects you because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, He's not gonna get him up when I bite. Go laughter on the bite. Just keep going up and down. How the, he just goes home, is it? I'm gonna mayonnaise on his finger.

Loose way. Bye. Never thought I would reach these pieces, look like his, that fat fuck would aid him off. But you're not like, the problem is you're not fat, like you're not fat enough that people don't call them fat. You're just, I'm fat enough for people don't call them fat. You're just not. I'm fat enough for people to not feel guilty

about hurting my feelings. That's where I'm at. You're also your guy. You're a guy. I'm good looking. I'm good looking. I was shredded and I can get there. And it's worse because when I get fat,

they're almost like, fuck you. You should be that. Right, right, right. You shouldn't be this you fat fuck.'re almost like, fuck you, you should be that. Right, right, right. You shouldn't be this, you fat fuck. Right, right, right. On the fat people, I'm abrasive because. Well, the fat people, no, the skinny people are like, dude, you're not supposed to be this.

You're well, you're with us. Yeah, you got the vibe of a guy who has confidence. Yeah, like that. I mean, I get it, like even like the other night with Lizzo called all the fat girls on stage. Oh, no, I saw you didn't see that What was that on? I mean he's the stage was The dammit They thought it was an earthquake

I was at the yeah, it was at the m. He's correct. She won an Emmy for a documentary that fat woman our people to or whatever the fuck her messages No, we get it. We get it. That's what it was. Well, she brought all the fat chicks on stage. She was like, all you big women come on stage. Yeah, I'm not there. Which I'm for, it's like great. They're all for it.

Follow the capacity. It's a 40 minutes. Fire code guy comes out. Oh, we don't have that. Keenem, Keenem, we gotta get people off the stage. Yeah, yeah, fucking hand back out Yeah, the cameras take a long time. Yeah, wait, so she said fat woman come on stage with a catering at that fucking event Must have been so the fat women in the well they brought yeah, they brought all the big women out that's right wasn't a game show or something I don't know right what was she like?

Like the honestly, I think it's like a Thailand show where it's like fat. But they knew they were coming out. People weren't just pushing their fat wives out to stage, like get up there honey. You could have shuffled one in. Yeah, they knew what was happening. All these breed girls are on stage,

and I'm like, oh, waddled up. This is great. Feel good about who you are, 100%. But you're gonna die. Yeah. It's like, guys, I get it, I get it, but you're young and as a 51 year old fat person, all of a sudden, when you need gives out,

when your feet start getting pains, when you get nerve damage, and then all of a sudden you're looking at your kid and you're not gonna be around because you embrace being heavy. That's the problem. It's over correction. It's bad to be too shameful about being fat,

but it's also bad to be proud. You're proud about me. You can be proud of yourself and love yourself. Like my therapist, I think one of my, I think my last fat when I was, he's like, listen, either do what you have to do, or just be fat. Yeah, I love yourself, but you can't live in the middle.

Yeah, you can't be in the middle. You have to love yourself, no matter what the fuck you are. So make a decision. Which is the hardest thing to do in your fat. It's the hardest thing to do. I remember, this is really sad. I had a picture of me when I was like, 10 and I posted it for some show.

And my friend messaged me, he was like, you're so cute in that photo. And I never thought of myself as cute in that photo. I was 10 and I posted it for some show, and my friend messaged me, he's like, you're so cute in that photo, and I never thought of myself as cute in that photo. I was 10, and I was cute, but in my head, I'm like, you're a fat monster. I'm like so mean to myself. Well, dude, people don't realize that, you're the meanest you could ever beat.

We are the bullies, we are the worst to ourselves. Yeah, yeah, people don't understand. So, I mean, other than showing my net worth, I mean, which the fuck it still hurts me. I fucking love to get to that. So when is special coming out tonight? No, no, tomorrow night, Wednesday, September 14th, APF. You're watching this Sunday on YouTube.

No, they're watching live. Oh, they're watching live. Yeah, watch it tomorrow night, apparently to the algorithm God, we all pray for. Leave a comment, say, yes, leave a comment. Yeah, watch it tomorrow night. Uh, apparently to the the algorithm god, we all pray leave a comment say Yes, leave a comment. YKWD in the comments. Yeah, that helps. Yeah helps. It does why like live people actually come over 8 p.m. Eastern It's gonna be I'll be in the live chat. You can call me fat or whatever No, do that. Don't do that call me my fans The next Bobby Kelly this guy.

You need the mean comments, it's good for the algorithm. I want to talk about it. The mean comment helps a lot. I know. Yeah, I need them. Get them fucking angry. Get the people that fight. That is like a whole thread.

I thought I just want to be funny as a standout. No, no, you need people shit on you to make it happen. That's crazy. You live in a fucking dream world. If you think that. If no one calls you a failure in the comments, it means you're a very... You believe in Disney princesses and shit? Dude, there's no way. There's no thing as just being funny. First of all, I do. Fuck you.

No, being funny is... I want to read this. This is from you. This is from me? Oh, this is my gay post. Ca- Well, I didn't read this. It's from right now. Oh, you didn't? Okay. Not. Okay. I didn't understand. I may be skimmed it, but I didn a post. Caught? Well, I didn't read this. It's from right now. Oh, you didn't? Okay. Not. Okay.

I didn't understand. I may be skimmed it, but I didn't understand. Oh, I see. Okay. Will you want to read it? No. Why don't you read it? Let's see if it matters.

I can read it. I can read it. You read it. Should I read it? All right, so. Read it the way you wrote it. Let me explain it. The first one.

Read it. How it explained it to people. So the day I moved to New York. You don't have to look me in the eyes. All right, well, I'm just want you to know. The day I moved to New York was September 6th, 2014, and I just passed that anniversary, whatever. And I had this post, I walked to the seller, because I wanted to see the seller.

And I actually asked him to the security guy. It's gonna go in just to have a look at the stage and he was like, no, I was like, all right, cool. But then you walked out, Jen, you walked out, and I'm gonna go, fuck the Bobby Kelly. I was like, hi, and you're like, hi, and I'm gonna go. Cool. And then I posted about it.

They told me about it, read it, read the post. I go standing outside the world famous comedy seller in New York City last night. I can't afford to go in yet, but I hope to play there someday. I was like a little comedy slur. Yeah. Outside when Bobby Kelly came out from the olive tree restaurant upstairs,

I said hello, he said hello. Does that mean anything to you? No. Does it mean anything to me? Slightly at best. But you gotta make bitches believe you got emotions and ambition. Am I right?

That's not bad, because I couldn't be sincere. How bad is a slur that you can't mention it on the podcast? Oh, it's fact. But, yeah, a little, why don't I slur that you can't mention it on the podcast? Oh, it's fact, but a little closer. Why don't I slur when I use a little comedy? Six years ago? Nothing.

I was like, I'll be bad if you're not seriously. Actually, that means he likes me. With friends. I was, now you'll get canceled. If there's a blackout on a bobby-caller podcast. But this would be why don't I slur, could I possibly use?

Read the other part. All right, so this is my little post. I said, corny post. I just noticed it's been eight years since I moved to New York. I made this post on Facebook the day I moved here. And nowadays I do sometimes get to play the seller. It's fun. I know Bobby now.

I love him. And I'm guessing on his podcast again this Tuesday. Please check it out. Plugging. Always be plugging. These things I dreamed of once that I'm lucky to have now. Don't mean that much to me now. Dream Bigger is what I'm saying.

New York is a disgusting place with a whole lot of fun. I'm looking forward to eight more years of hanging over and stand up calmly with the world's best comedians in the world's smelliest city. And look how fat I was. Yeah, and I was a... Yeah, I asked Nicole at the semi-foward, she said me that. I was like, it's great.

Thanks, Nicole. I mean, that's the best picture of you guys. I did put, I, they really, yeah. It was a cute picture. And I'm happy that I know you. I'm like, we're friends. Well, buddy, I'm happy I know you.

But, what, what, what, what, it was the time when I remember being a fan, go, oh shit, that's probably, when I, when I love about this stuff, and I, I've, I've talked to you about, you know, before about things, is that you don't have, you always have to do a show up. Yeah.

You don't have to do much more than that. You're, you're going to write jokes, but just show, get on stage, show up and try to get on a stage. Yeah. And everything else kind of falls into place. It just does. If you're here, there's going to be a spot for you and things will happen. I don't know when, I don't know how long it takes.

Yeah. But it's going to happen. So you, know when, I don't know how long it takes, but it's gonna happen. So you work the seller. Yeah, you have your own podcast, right? Yeah, that's successful. I guess. I don't know if it's successful. It's a big cock-sucker.

Yeah, right? It will be. It will be. And you're a regular on my show, right? Yeah, things are good. It's funny to me, you know, when people just show the fuck up, just show up, and it's it. But this, I was also trying to remind myself

to be like, oh, I have actually achieved shit. Because all day, every day, I'm just like, fucking my life sucks. And then I'm kind of trying to remember, like, if you have good things to do, gratitude has not come down. And I'm so cynical too, too. It's like, even when the good things happen, I'm always like remember, like, I do have good things to do. Gravitatives not coming out. And I'm so cynical too, too. It's like even when the good things happen

and I was like, fuck this. So I'm trying to force myself to even try and enjoy certain things at that time. And then you get something. Somehow it just loses all that. It just fucking ruins it. Yeah, it's your goal. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, my goal, what is your goal? Your goal is to get that or make it to this vacation. But once you get it, basically, get to this vacation. But once you get it, it's like, get to this, yeah, once you get it, you're consciousness changes. You're now someone who has that thing so you no longer want it. I heard before, like, with a vacation,

you're looking forward to that vacation, hold on, then when you're on it, does it part of you that like hates because it's gonna end and then you, well, you need to have like two vacations constantly. Well, you need, I figured it out. Okay, you need to go on vacation for two months. Well, I figured it out. Okay. You need to go on vacation for two months.

No. For a baby this. No, what you need to do is when you're there is be present. Yeah. You need to wake up in the morning, you need to think about how awesome your day, how that you're there, think about it, and you need to be present for everything.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You have to be there. You can't be what I mean? You have to be there. You can't be here. You can't be here. You have to be there. This summer, the one thing that I did was I was present every day.

I went with it. One day, Max was, we were home, and we just went, we'd gone the car and listened to 80s rock music for three hours driving through the mountains. It was just being present. What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna go? What do we got?

What, fuck that. Just go, wake up, be present, and let that day kind of take you. You know what, feel it. You know what's really scary? It's no one is happy ever on their phone. No one is ever like, it's never happy. And yet it's mostly what we do. So most of our lives is not being happy.

You're always happy when you're not on your phone and you're forgotten that. I was a traffic today and everybody in the car around me was on their phone. No, it's all fine. You know me, I'm the worst. Oh, you're terrible. I'm bad on the phone.

I tried to make it black and white. You know, they can do that now. Like, the foam black and white. I didn't look at it any less. I just, I just felt like I was colorblind, but I still like watched it all the time. Yeah, but you can change the color. But you can also just shut it off.

I know. But it's tough because it's a tool that you kind of need. It's not a tool right now. What if I need to, you don't need it. What if I need to calculate? Right here. What if I need to, you don't need it. What if I need to calculate? Right here. What if I need to calculate? Calculate what?

Right now, I can get off the phone. I don't have to be on the phone here, but I'm trying to work out how much I can... It is? Look, I'm not saying, I'm not better than you. I'm the same as you. I woke up, it was yesterday or two days ago, and got on Instagram, the videos,

and all of a sudden it was one o'clock. It was awful. But I did acknowledge I was aware of what happened. They got me. They just got me. They got you. They got me.

I went from an old Chinese lady eating a huge octopus to a guy fishing in a canal, to a magnet fisher. It just keeps going on of these things that I kind of uh yeah and then all of a sudden I'm watching a whale explode and I'm like fuck it's a lot of stuff. What's a whale explode? Then you're watching porn. I mean for me it's like I go it's also all the you know the booth guys says you only you want to water the wait What's it not on the the Buddhist monk? Oh, you want to water? I think we know I thought you said it's not hot and then I thought it was like some youtuber Tits not hot you know it's not hot. No, it's a great Buddhist. It's not hot rest cancer We said you want to fucking double mesectomy. It's why I'm yeah, much of it if it's not hot

You want to water he said you want to water the righteous part of you, the righteous seeds, not the bad seeds, and Instagram waters, all the, I go through every 10 commandments. I'm a lot. I'm a lot. I'm a lot. But I said that to that on stage, it's the best and worst of the world, because you'll watch something really inspirational and emotional that it clicks with you.

And then all of a sudden you watch an effect I fall for diving. It's like, so you're going from here to here, but you have to wake up in the morning and you can't, when I can't look at that, I don't look at it. That's why I have a wrist watch. I have, dude, just use your phone. Fuck no, I go like this. It's quarter past 10. I look at my watch.

I have a watch because that's what people did. For hundreds of years. Yeah, right. As they went, it's this, instead of going this, because I do that. They get trapped. And all of a sudden, shit comes up. And I'm like, what happened on CNN?

And it's also like, you know, in a relationship, you know, it's tough to like just see all these hot people all the time, you know what I mean? It was so much easier to be in a relationship back in like the hundred gather times. You were just with the only fuckable person in like a 50 mile radius. You didn't get an alert every time there was a hot person

just existing, you know? You guys are on the dating apps? Yeah, you guys are mentally ill. It's awful. Yeah, I don't, you know, it's just like, but here's Yeah, you guys are mentally ill. It's awful. Yeah, I don't, you know, it's just like, but here's the thing, it doesn't need to be an option. No, you're right. It wasn't an option for life,

but it does get complicated with our career. It does not. It didn't get complicated for life. Yeah. Since God in your eyes Biology in your eyes made humans Right, you know Jews, but also believe in God. Yeah, but you don't Okay, as long as you're not assuming it's the juicing

No, I know Jews are fucking before them. I get it But we didn't we didn't do it up until for them I get it. But we didn't do it up until 10 years ago. Maybe five. I know. We didn't do it. You just, you let the will of the universe or whatever,

Chappin, you let your life happen. Yeah. And you were there in present when it happened to engage to like, oh, this person is in my life. And that's it. Now everybody wants to have their own will drive the car. I'm gonna meet somebody,

and I'm gonna meet a blonde who likes small dogs and fucking old movies. You're like something perfect, yeah. Yeah, and it's bullshit. Yeah, it's my wife. We, I swear to God, I wanted nothing to do with this broad. Yeah. She was the third best looking waitress

out there restaurant. I thought that was that. That's 100%. And it was an Apple piece. I dumped her for a fucking H.Y. hot shit. I'm all wild. And I'll say this what the apple is. I dumped her for a fucking H.R. Hutchett. And I'll say this, and to me, I say this, and I mean it now. She's the prettiest woman I've ever met,

and I fucking love her more than anything. I can look at my wife and start to cry of how lucky I am that I love her. I fucking love her, because she's something happened. It's, she's for me. Yeah. And, you know, it's weird how that happens. And I tried to drive that fucking, you know what I mean?

And this dating shit, this app thing, going on there and relying on some bullshit to set you up, it's garbage. And, well, I know a friend, I don't give a fuck. You should just cancel that shit and meet that person you're supposed to meet. Well, it's gonna happen no matter what. I've been in a relationship

I met her on the street. Yeah, but she's not the one for you. What? I mean, listen, I gotta get on to this other couple of things I really wanted to bring this up. We can talk about three things. I'll let you two pick it. All right. The queen died.

She did. Army hammer cannibal documentary or who does waitress in custody after putting hot wings in her vatch? Oh, I know what you're calling us to talk about. I remember this, the Army hammer, that's a documentary coming out, right? It's out now. Is it out? What's it out on? I don't know, but I've watched it. Oh, thanks for the info. I did watch Showtime. Yeah, yeah, watch it, yeah.

On what? I think it's Showtime. I don't know. Did you buy it? No, it's just one of the channels that I have. I don't know. Why did you watch? Or something like that?

Oh, look at you got all these channels now. You came here, you had nothing. My girlfriend has all these channels, so I watch for free, and I'm pretty sure she gets them from her parents. So I don't know how they showed up on the TV, but... Did you meet her on an app? I did not, I got fucking tricked at a Metz game.

I had a one night stand five years ago, and she still wit me somehow. You do what happened? I definitely wanted a Master! I wanted nothing to do with it. No, it's not a one night stand if you're with Thurb for five years. A tank's a plot in the whole analytical. We know what he might in like corny joke.

I got you back. Um, that's what he does. These, these rits apart movies. Oh, why do people hate the Jews so much? So, whoa. Hey, I defended the, hey, I thought you on my back. I got you back. No, I, first I defended Army Hammer for a second. Cause I just want to be a shit, you get stuff put in your back. I got your back, man. I first I defend an army hammer for a second

because I just want to be a shit, you get stuff put in your ass. Well, at first it just sounded like a cannibal fantasy that attacks and I'm like the foul judgment and sexting. Yeah. You know, but then it turned out he like, you hit a lot of fuck. There was a lot.

What did he do? I don't know. So he did, I think he did. He's pretty much the long story. Can I just stop? First of all, he sucked in Zorro. Oh, polka haunt is what was the most thing he was canceled? What was he in?

No, it was the Johnny Depp thing. No, what the, what the, what the, what the, yeah, yeah. It was Johnny Depp, it was called, Tete, uh, this, Tate, it was like, you're a movie thing. I, well, this movie sucked. It was like, Tate. Tate.

Yeah, it was called, no, Tate. Yeah, it was called Tate. But. Yeah, I was a called Tonto But it little feather Lone Ranger Christ Nicole I'm gonna fuck a stroke. Oh, I didn't even see the call forget that you Well, she's fucking two feet tall. Good other job. There's in there inside. Yes, low-rangeer. He sucks. It is junk Was he he doing anything?

Dude, that was supposed to move the bright brook him. He didn't have it. They kept on bringing him back. If he finally made it, we'll use a social network. Yeah, that was first. That's what got him to, let's make this a star. He sort of just made him so good looking, but he's not, he doesn't have it. Yeah.

Well, he does apparently have like, I don't even say this or something, what does he do? He like, okay, so now, it's breaks, the story breaks, I'm like, this is crazy, this poor guy was just being freaky. And you can text Shane. You can text someone saying,

I wanna cut you up and eat you. That's fine. That's what I thought. I'm on a barbecue your tits or whatever. I started deleting a lot of text what's that already there? That's my both worlds barbecue tits. I know, what's like, it's just my both worlds, barbecue and tits. I know.

It's just sex thing. If you guilty for the, the thing is I sex, I said I'm going to fuck you all night long. That's not true. It's just like, I sex my wife, hey, you want a foot rub to that? You know, you don't sex to reality. You know what I'm saying? Or it's like, step home your hair while we watch the good doctor. But here's the thing with a lot of B2 stuff, not all of you.

You want to be left alone for a half hour in the room before I come to bed. The problem is a lot of B2 stuff. There we go. It's someone gets in trouble and everyone jumps to conclusion because they're a monster. And then I'm like, wait till you find out the facts. And then a lot of times the facts aren't really bad. Yes. So what happened?

He was, I guess he was raping girls You know and works in cannibal. It's kind of you know look they would say one thing He says another we're waiting for his rebuttal, but you got to wait Here's it. There's been girls who said shit, and I'm you gotta believe all of them You gotta believe when all women yes garbage. They of course, live. It's garbage. Of course. You should take all allegations seriously. You don't believe all of them.

You take all of the, and hear both sides. And finally, let's go, and we're gonna look at Johnny Depp went through the shit and that bitch is lying. They all lie. Yeah. Well, I guess we don't really know. We do. She's a lot.

She's a fucking psycho and she lied on the stand. She shit was bent. Yeah, she shit was bent. She shit was bent. It's terrible shit was bent. Terrible human being. You don't do that. We haven't watched all the fucking shit, and everybody knows that bitch is out of her mind, mentally. So don't you think they could both be awful?

Johnny Depp's a piece of shit, but he didn't do what she said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I see where it's said. So you can't, so you have to wait, and he actually lost the case in England because she's a lying piece of shit.

Right, right. And then they brought it here and they, and through our better, no offense, our better Judicial, you'd say it. No, no, no, let them, let them learn. Judicial learn. Judicial, thank you. Judicial system.

Judicial. I don't know. Judicial system. Judicial system. Judicial. Judicial. Judicial. Judicial system. Judicial. I don't know. Judicial system. Judicial. Judicial. Judical. Judicial. Judicial system.

Judicial system. It's kind of judicial system. Whoa. Too much. He can say. He can't. No. Um.

I mean, dude, you can't. So we have to wait, I think. You have to wait to hear his side of it. And I'm not saying. No, he did it to a lot of girls. No, no, I think this is past that though. Oh, is it past? I don't know he was suggesting BDSM But then what he was actually doing was like raping the girls, right? And I think he was cutting into flesh which you got a half first before you cut it to flat He settled down. Yeah settle down

You can't just cut it to flesh. You say can I cut you know? Yeah, what then you do it? I think it was like cutting into the flesh. What Billy Burr's joke where he says, look, there's difference between no. No. And no, stop. No. So that's where he'll dance this line.

But I think that, I think it's bad. I don't think it's bad. It is bad. I think it's bad. Are you plus he's like that? No, look, he's fucked up, but it's more interesting. Whatever he did, he's another guy. Is he in the documentary?

He's not. No, he wouldn't respond. You can't, you, listen. I'm crazy if he'd walk. Anybody who, can I say something, they're making a documentary about something that hasn't been gone to court yet. They're making a documentary about something.

They're frying this guy. He also is an army of the documentary is an army, cannibal document. What's the name of it? House of hammer. House of hammer. So they're setting it up. Just the fact that you thought of it called cannibal documentary. It's called, you boy, the documentary is called Silent to the Labs. But the real thing is about his family. His family's that rich, did you know about the family? No, talk to me.

Well, they used to be multi-piliers. What's the different, what's it called? It's the fucking hammer. It's called shampoo, Satan. Armand Hammer. Armand Hammer was the guy who, no, he started like an oil company. I'm in hammer in shampoo.

In the 60s. He's making so much money. He had the biggest oil company in the world during the 70s, and he's $1 billion. Do they still have money? No. They lost it off.

They'll explain it all if you want me to give it a try. Okay, don't give it a try. That's the most interesting part, I think. Okay, so him tying up to the girl, the problem with the girl got to me, that happens. I'm too stupid because I will just go one way and I've learned over the last 10 years with these network TV shows

that they want you to hate this guy and they wanna ruin him and they won't put his side up and they're just getting you to watch. And until they should make this doc, you shouldn't be able to make a documentary on something until it's done. He's also just already, he's done.

I don't get, it's kinda done, but he's like, he's a point of it. And I think they had his lawyers talking for sure. But he's literally like working real estate in like some, in the Caribbean now. He's out of it. I don't know what the point of it is. He's in the Cayman Islands.

So it does seem like the cannibal islands? It does seem like it's kicking a cannibal when they're down. It does seem like a little like not necessary. Well, it's almost like, I hate the fact that we judge people and crucify them and hang them. It's like the witches. It's like we have laws and a judge in a courtroom for a reason.

File charges, bring them to court, each side gets a chance to prove that and then make a decision. And whatever that is, I'm for that. And the fact that that doesn't exist anymore, at all, I'm just supposed to believe a, some fucking does, some asshole network that put this shit out and then I'm like fuck this guy,

cause dude, I'm the guy that will hate somebody forever. Right, right. And then I find out that they didn't do it and I'm like, I'm sorry. I hate being that dumb asshole. Right, right. So it's like, and I hate the fact that it's like, sale and witch trials.

How many people have they hung out there to dry and it didn't come to fruition? Right, like here. You know what I mean? The witches are later on. I'm talking now with the me two thing. How many guys that they try to fucking take out? Fucking Cosby.

Fucking Cosby? No, Cosby. He's a phoenix. He's not a... Azeez. Yeah, he's a phoenix. Azeez. The guy from the Walking Dead.

TJ Miller. From the Walking Dead. The guy that does the TV show after. He's a pho season of the guy from the walking dead uh... t j miller from the walking dead uh... the guy that does the tv show after he's a walking dead uh... yeah uh... and him is where no that's a war you're

it's hard work hard work i mean it's like the disease was bad that was the worst one that's it is doesn't matter you'd name any of them there's plenty of them to say hey guys we should stop and go back to what we do, which is go to turn a blind eye. Right. Can we go back if something happened to you?

If there's a good up view, file the charges, file them. Get this guy behind bars. Present your case. I mean, he'll answer the thing. One to trial. She's's like he wanted me to suck his dick i said no he looked upset and i want and then while he was in my pussy and i was coming in his mouth i felt uncomfortable i want i wanted to have an a but he got you know christian i yeah i get it you know they're doing a louis thing on showtime you know

that that's fantastic yeah and they won't even contact him so it's just a it's a once so what they're doing contact me thing on showtime, you know that? Well, that's fantastic. Yeah. And they won't even contact him. So it's just a one, so what they're doing, they're contacting me. I am gonna do it just for that credit. I mean, the showtime on the poster. They did show up like dressed silly. They're doing a one-sided documentary. That's not documentaries.

No. That's propaganda. It's also like, it's propaganda. It's TMZ shit. Yeah, you're right. It's people magazine shit. It's like putting JLo and. It's TMZ shit. Yeah, you're right. It's people magazine shit. I it's like putting JLo and Ben there in trouble. They're fine. Yeah, you got married. Yeah, but I'll buy the magazine. It's it's clickbait. We like watching people fall. Yeah, if you can't get his side of it,

then you're lying. Yes, then you're bullshit. I agree. If you can't get Louis side of it, if you can't get both sides and let people come to an honest conclusion, then fuck your documentaries, bullshit. And you're just trying to get people, you're just taking a guy and rubbing his face through the mud again. Yeah, I'm gonna be on there being like,

are you really gonna be on it? No, I'm sure I can. I'm gonna be on it being like, I would like to tell me, I'm part of the Me Too store. I'm like, one time he told me the entire plot of a movie for the second time 28 more comedians of course terrible the door was closed

I would rather just jacked off I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off.

I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. I would rather have just jacked off. the, the, the, give me two. Ireland, the English talk Ireland. Yeah, no shit, they were conquering everything. Yeah, that's, that's, that's one reason. Hey, look at the Romans did it, the Egyptians did it,

the Greeks did it, the Greeks did it. I know, I know. So you're supposed to, you're out there. She is. She, I mean, she's not much of a, she should hate all the bad, you should hate nearly all of them. She didn't do it. I know she didn't fucking do it, but she represented.

Who gives a fuck? So why are they wrong? What is she supposed to do, go, hey, I want to give up this. I want her to give up all this. She was born into a horrible situation. Yeah, let her, I mean, it's fun. It's fun. First of all, you don't get to enjoy many old women dying.

Don't take this from me. You know, this is a good opportunity first. I have a little bit of fun. Listen, so they fucked with Ireland. They made you come here. They fucked with everyone. What they make you become Protestants? Or Catholics, what was the deal with you guys?

They brought over Protestants. They didn't change anywhere. They just brought them in. Yeah. They brought them in from afar. Hey man, you should have fought harder. Well, we did, 800 years later. Yeah, wow.

When we got some guns, when we finally got some guns, we did it. Yeah, I mean, everyone made fun of it. I don't know finally got some guns we did it. I didn't yeah I mean everyone made fun of her. I don't know. I'm so like I'm good I don't know you won when they were they were like like we're out Here's the problem is that I would have been good if she died in like the seven these are something because you would have been like Had a little bit left. This is not a victory her living all the way to being an old content What don't don't you is it better that they like long live the king now? Fuck him, too.

Finally a man's in charge. But not, finally a man's in charge. Yes. She put it happen. Long live the queen. What the fuck is this? What is this thing to say? What is it, the sausage fingers?

Have you seen the king's hands? Yeah. Oh, they're nuts. What is that? That's a gut. But her death is sad. It's sad for all the knights and wizards and dragons. Here's, but, Daria, who's gonna reign and Darria now?

Say long live the king now, right? Yeah, but here's the thing, the control. It's cool. The control, the British monarch, the only ones that survived post World War I. All the other ones came chrome and down. You sound like you're doing the drunk history right now. Well, they are, that is true.

Do that show where you're going? Yeah, they changed. All the other kings and queens stayed up in the castle, they were the first one to ever come down and shake hands with the fucking people. So the whole people were like, oh, they're one of us. It's a huge marketing thing, because they don't offer to people any benefit.

But they're just the most paid for unemployed people in the world. What is up with that? What's the deal? That pinky ring. It's like, that's about to pop off and fucking. Yeah, dude. That's about the shutter window. Yeah, he's got, he's got, he's an alcohol.

Is it? Yeah, what it is? Google what it is. What are they calling it? They can't keep, they can't allow him to be an alcohol. Are there real pictures? There's two more real. Yeah, they're literally just calling it sausage fingers. He looks like he was bitten by a real thing. Cobra or something.

Yeah, that's how I see my hands. Kamil gets fingered like a motherfucker. I bet you she's a... Jop the royal hand. Wow, maybe he just has big hands. But his speech that he gave, right, the day after or whatever. Well, my mother has died. Everyone should watch that in interest because he's,

they don't offer anything. It's just a in interest because they don't offer ananda. It's just a big thing where they pretend like we're royal. And at any moment the magic will be broken. Everyone's like, get these fucking cons out of here. Like all the other people did. So it's like, it's interesting to see them continue this lie. They know their line. Everyone knows their line.

Yeah, but those medals are real. The medals, he is the most decorated. Well, it's also funny that there's like die hard. Their son, like everyone knows their son, fucks underage girl. Exactly, which one? You with him. Andrew. And he was at Epstein's Island.

There was a whole interview where he's like, you're not. And where he sweated all over the woman and he's like, well, actually, I couldn't swear. It's so weird. Like everyone is just like, yeah, he fucks kids, but what can you do? And they use king.

A prince. But yeah, he's not fucking little boys. He better be doing something with that privilege. You better be. It is worrisome that, like, if you make like a billion dollars or you just have everything, do you just go like, I guess I should fuck kids next. I think that's like all these celebrities.

It's what is Jesus Christ. Like, out. I think that's like all these celebrities. It's good. It's good. Jesus Christ. It's like gout. Yeah, that's the most horrible foot. He's got fucking Nikki Glazer's foot. I don't know. Well, I'm into this. It's often shabin' can we come painful?

I feel bad for him. What, he's got the gout? Is that... That to light us. His gout was something for me. He's got a graphic part. That's a condition, dude. That's not just him. That's something. part. That's a condition, dude. That's not just him.

That's something. Good, fuck them. They can't. I don't know, I don't, we should skip and just go straight to one of the babies. Have a little royal baby. I don't think she was king baby. I don't think she was so awkward.

Like, he's gonna have the, he has to have a baby, right? He has fucking loads of kids. All right, so who's gonna be the king baby? The, the, the, the bald one's son. But Andrew is no longer in the running since you fuck kids, right that kid. He was never though He was next he was never next in line. Who's next in line? Andrew is his brother Andrew's his younger brother. Oh, I thought that was a son Who's in line if he dies who be his son the bald one the ball? Harry I don't know Harry styles

It's only a, wait a minute. They only have six names. I'm gonna ask the stupid, that King is the Queen's wife, right? The Queen's husband, right? What? No, that's his, he's getting bagged.

That's, wait, that's in her son? That was the month, yes, he's 70. He's 112 years old. What? She was going, he's,

that's her son. He's, he's 78. That's not, that was no husband. He's gonna die soon. That's, her son is like's 78. I thought that was no husband. He's gonna die soon That's how her son is like a huh. Did you see? Did you see her husband? Yeah, he he was a what was his name? I don't know

Phil Charles maybe the Charles they all have the same name. It's hard to see a fucking crib if he a lot No, he died. But look at him. He was a picture him He was hilarious. I thought that was the husband. No, no Work watch the watch the husband show the husband also you can't marry into the bloodline You don't mean you don't know King because so that's your oldest He's dead now Did they have show the other picture of him it looks like a temper from Star Wars Jesus. Yeah, that's the dark Sith. Ah Show the other one of them it's like my ball, and he was fucking the Queen and they're like there. There you go

That's the one That's cuz he was banging his cousin for so long They definitely have the thing where they like died and they just gave him some to keep them going. Oh my god Yeah, there you go. That's a corpse. That's him. Look at him. That's the corpse. You find the dirt that was from like south. That's like an old the Anderson. You're not you're not supposed to be in your nineties. No one in their nineties. That's like rich. That's gross going to tape his ninth out.

People listening to it. Um, that. I don't really like it. You should watch the speech he gives, because he goes to the nation now more than ever, we need the royal family. It's a, it's a, because when you're not part of that belief, it's the craziest thing in the world. They're keeping these people

and they have certain powers that they've lost over the years. So if you lose the king, if you lose the patriarchy, and you lose all that horse shit, no one's going to respect you. That family, you mean? England. Oh, all that, no one's gonna respect you. That family, you mean? England.

Oh, England? And nobody's gonna respect England. That whole thing with them, that they have the king and they have the queen and they have, you know, all that, there's something about that, the royalty of it is kind of part of, it's part of that, it's retarded. Yeah, you're from Ireland and you have a...

Some things are retarded, but also... It's like in order to land or lost Disneyland or whatever. Yes. It wouldn't be Florida. It's a dump, yeah. Yeah. What are we gonna have? Exactly.

You're right, right. You need shit to people there, though. Because they're fucking brainwashed retards. All right, well, listen. They are. Fucking relax. All right, before you start bombing England again. We didn't, we just called for our freedom.

Yeah, after he's gonna go back to Hell's Kitchen. I'm head, I'm head and over there to my powder. Alright, so, now the last thing I wanted to tell you, we have questions for you guys, we gotta wrap up. Oh, yeah. The last thing I wanted to ask you, the waitress puttin' fuckin' wings in her purse. Whoops.

Yeah, so apparently this was against customer she didn't like. Wait a minute. This wasn't like a trick that they paid more to get. This was, this wasn't, this wasn't like getting the Daytona sauce on it. Like, what is the story? Victoria's special. She was a waitress and she put hot wings in her purse.

She was a former waitress. I have a burger in my nose. Can you have a tissue anybody? For a hot wing. And when customers didn't like the customer, she would dip her fucking pussy. That sounds opposite of me. That sounds like it would hurt her, right? Well, putting the weight out, I mean,

the hot sauce, just a regular. It's nuts. If you put the guys like, these are the best wings I've ever had. If you put hot sauce in your vagina, that's like, you feel the burn. Well, not all wings are hot. And it would also just wash off the sauce, right?

Kind of. Wouldn't it just be like a, like, I feel like this are dry. They're like, they're sauceless now. You've just got a pussy full of buffalo sauce. What if you thought of buffalo sauce, but you just thought on her period? She was on her period for a lot of them. That was the thing.

So she just put blood on you. She got a little blood on her. That's when you get it. Thanks, Joe. That's a good sauce. Can I get the period? Here's the thing. If no one tells you, That's when you get it. Thanks, Joe. That's a good sauce. Can I get the period? Here's the thing. If no one tells you, that's a victimless crime. If you never find out, I'm sure just I've ate shit and just piss over the years. Those guys are fun. Why don't you get a

caught? How'd she get caught? I don't know. That's the camera off me. No, zoom in there. I know where the bugger went, guys. Four months ago, he couldn't even reach his face. This is incredible. This is a new man. You would get home and get Don told of the picture. I get it. I don't know.

That was just terrible. I had to fuck a little rogue bugger. I don't know how she got caught. Who caught it? I think they saw her doing it. That's funny. That's great. They were hard to think to talk to get out of.

Oh, I met the fooders. I love fooders. Really? I didn't like it. I loved it. And then I fell out of love with it. We didn't know. I went down to Tampa and Mike Calta.

That's his go-to place. And I taught me about the Daytona style, which is when they put the sauce and then they put it on the grill, and they grill them. So it's good? No food is good, the wings are good. Okay?

And I learned a lot, and plus the chicks are smoking. And they're all at that age where like they might, you could get one, like they're attainable, because they don't know where they're going in life yet, but they do have some ideas, but you could literally go, hey, you wanna come live with me?

Yeah. Tiny house in the hamper. I'm like, okay, that sounds good. So they're smoking hot, and they give you hook strip or vibe, where they kinda like you when they might not, but whatever, so I do like it. But if I have a saw,

when you start sticking stuff in your badge with blood, that's where I draw the line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The blood is blocked. The blood, I call me crazy, but when I go to a restaurant, I don't like my chicken being put in a bowl.

You're crazy. You're crazy. You're really crazy. Yeah, here's also the thing though. Someone goes to you, hey, look, one of the waitresses has been putting period blood on the wings. You do shoulda go, which one? You would choose one.

You've got to go not her, not her. It was the chubby chick with the mole. I'd be like, you fucking, you terrible person. Yeah, if it was the skinny blonde, you were like, Yeah, if it was a smoking port of rickid, was that Oh, I'd let her fucking stick it in her ass. I'll fucking walk you had diarrhea. She looks like, I mean, she looks like the type of person that's evilized though. She's about to kill a baby. She's super cute though. Yeah, I would, I would, yeah, I would have her bleed over my mind. I mean, what kind of savage are you when you go, I'm

going to stick, I'm going to stick this wing in my period pussy. And I'm going you go I'm gonna stick I'm gonna stick this wing in my period pussy And I'm gonna I'm gonna put it back on this plate. That's I'm gonna watch you meet it. Oh what else she's been doing I mean I think she has issues. I don't think Daytona That's the blood now I can't eat it. You just ruined it for me. I did not she some poor area She ruined it for you. Wow. She fuck it. I'm not. She, some poor, yeah. She ruined them for you. Wow, she fuck it, I'm done. It looks like day four of the pure. Yeah, that's clumped up.

Oh, my fuck. She saved it. There's a couple of clots on that thing right there. Let's wrap this up. This is, what's in the blue cheese? This is unwanted, I wanna know. I'm in dischecked. All right, here we go.

Q&A with guests, here we go. This is for who? This is to you guys. I don't even know if you could know this. This is a weird thing for one. This is for either from one of the fans. Who has a better watch, Bobby or Rich Voss? What's your watch, Voss?

This watch is not my Rolex. Bring up Skydweller. Voss is a black Skydweller. Fossils in black Skydweller. Jubilee bracelet and blue Skydweller. What the fuck in clamshell bracelet, what are they called? This is a French watch. I bought this in Paris. It's called a lip.

It's from France. It's a French watch company. It's an automatic and it's a beautiful little watch. It's a like everyday type of watch I can wear. And so if they steal this from me in New York City, it's only four or 500 bucks. Okay. This one's actually worth if 800 bucks.

I have a few to resell, but it's a beautiful watch. I love it. That's my watch. This guy, I got this guy. That's my watch. I got this guy on Amazon. Yeah, you should. It's my watch. This guy, I got this guy. That's my watch. I got this guy on Amazon. Yeah, you should. It's a Nixon.

Yeah. And look, it lights up though. Oh, it makes this noise. Look. You can never get in the attack. I go. That's my watch. That's my watch.

And people come to help me. That's my watch. Yeah. Now bring up. That's all right. Rich Foss's watch. That's your best watch. Okay, no, he's not a Jubilee. He's the one in the middle. Down bring up, it's all right. Rich Voss's watch. That's your best watch. Okay, no, he's not a Jubilee, he's the one in the middle.

Down, down, down, down. You just had it. Over to the left, over to the left. Oh, down, and the, down, over to the right. Over to the right, right, and back, back, one, one, back, right there, that one. That's Rich Voss's. I feel like they're all the same one.

That's Rich Voss's, and here's mine. mine ready wait keep the tabs up she can go back and forth how did you delete she she's she's all right she'll get back to it that's mine and then yours is the big one the bigger version no it's just the same size but she doesn't have it up she's making huge compared to this it's the same big is your the ground ground floor, our club. That's boss. See, the bracelet is different. I like to, are they both have blue?

Because I like to want to blue. You like the blue? That's rich or yours? That's rich. I like rich as more. You like rich as more. Even with that, you like that one better. I was saying blue back then.

Your bracelet has the, mine did you believe bracelet? It's a little fancier bracelet. Because it has the thing. Riches at net worth, they'll just say that watch yeah yeah yeah you have bodies that worth under it yeah also seven million dollars Rolex under his wife name you like the blue one which one do you yeah blue all day much better than yours there you go you look cheap I like blue blue is really nice for four four hundred thousand oh he's rich and a new man here for the deal is that including the watch no but look at it says comedian body McFarlane

uh... that's included his watch you're right it's more expensive than mine uh... it's the same exact price by the way but his is a little worth a little more uh... okay which one of uh... uh... of you close uh... closures to starting and only which one which one of you closer to starting an only fence bench and Blow Karen out of the water which one are you gonna start it only fence bench? I Mean I'm not really I

Don't have the right body for I think you can do it. I could do it easy. I'm always what would you do an only fence? I here's my fancy the generous term for people just jack up to you Only fans. Here's my fans is a generous term for people just jack up to you. That is true. What are you gonna do here's the thing with that is there is a shelf life on showing your asshole for $5. Yeah. And you can never have a boyfriend.

No, not one that loves you. That's what I mean. Have you ever been on only fans? I used to go out like never been on it. I used to go on it because I like like no girl. I used to go on it, because I'd like, no girl in the studio. You gotta see, if you know girl, you gotta see them. You gotta just, it just, it's just, oh, but I'm not saying that I didn't Google hurt cancer.

You didn't go on reddit. I'm not paying for it. I don't want to give it to her. You feel creepy, because you might know the people, but it's actually the only time you're actually giving money. Like you should feel good about it. You're giving money to people, it's the one time you're, it's weird to say shouldn't feel good about it. You're giving money to people. It's the one time you're...

It's weird to say someone, hey, I saw your naked photo because I was so curious. Well, you don't have to tell them that. Hey, just sickly jerk off. That's why I mess it. But I had a problem. That's why I messed. I had a problem.

I started like subscribing to a lot of people's. It's one click. And then this one one was so beautiful. And every day she'd be like $3 to see these pictures of my tents. And I kept on doing it. And it became like a financial Problem like I was like losing a lot of money. Yeah, you know why?

Because you're a fucking degenerate piece of shit. I know I know it was that hates themselves But she was just so hot this girl and and so I and every day was like $3 to see these topics I kept on and I saw it in my like budget. That's when you have a Name after decided. Yeah, so hot So hot. Oh, I wanna know. I wanna know who this hot girl is. This is to Ron on, for me, baby. Ron on, let me see my glasses, before I fucking up again. Who had a better performance of fourth-use lie,

Robert Kelly on Nick DePaul? These are all like fucking dick questions. I know. Just to put you down. Yeah, these are, who came up with these? Your Patreon members. I mean, this is all. Those are both, I mean, they're both made performances. Yeah, these are who came up with these? Your Patreon members. I mean, those are both, I mean, they're both made performances.

Yeah, they're two different performances. They're both pretty great. Well, I mean, you don't have to answer that. That's just, but they are both, I'd say they're both like the standout supporting performance. They're both like pretty amazing, you know? Yeah, I mean, you really, with Nick, you're really like, believe he's racist. I don't know how he does it, yeah, I mean, you really, with Nick, you really like believe he's racist.

I don't know how he does it, but I don't know. We'll kind of method acting, he did, but you really believe he stepped out of a box. Yeah, Nick was great. Nick, he had to learn. Yeah. The part, the part where he's trying to pour alcohol in Joe's mouth like in the beginning.

I love the actual dance. See the dramatic dance we've seen. It was so beautiful. He improved that. All right. Yeah, Louie just told him to do it and he did it and it wound up matching with the music. And it was such a surreal moment in the movie and it was so I thought it was so. Yeah, I remember seeing Nick and he had so much passion and he did that dance and it so I thought it was so you had to see Nick and he had so much

passion and he did that dance and it was I thought it was amazing. You remember you was editing it on the bus that part we were there. That's right. Remember I got a chair because it was standing in the bus for hours watching him edit them. That was a totally different movie than he edited. That was the most impressed I was with Louis. It was the foul like oh this is like the fact that he could Literally edit a movie himself which is already rare for director while on a tour bus going to shows where he's doing a new hour

After special just came out that's where I was like yeah, he is he's a different. He's he's really Very good at juggling multiple projects. He's a different. he's a different. Yeah, yeah, but I was like, that was like in a very bright, but yeah, you both do a great performance, you know? You have to answer. Yeah, I believe that you're sober. You must end friends with Joe. You must, you both have, you both really, yeah, it's really going all outside your range.

You're playing a guy from Boston. Almost a man of credit. You both were really yeah, it's really going all outside your rage Play a play a guy from Boston must have been incredible. No, but you're both you're both a man But you must do more act in the Nick. I don't know if I've ever seen Nick and I know Nick is great He was actually in an Amy Schumer sketch 12 angry men or something to be that and he was yeah, I mean dude He was fantastic and he was great. He's, Nick is a good actor man. He's real. He's got a lot of anger and passion and he really, he knows how to harness that to do what he does.

He's really great. I love, he's really great. I like Nick's that. But I feel like you could be in some great, like dramatic roles. Yeah, well, fucking tell somebody. I don't know, yeah. I fucking last, I mean, you could be in some great, like, dramatic roles. Yeah, well, fucking tell somebody. I don't know, yeah. Yeah, I fucking lashed, I mean, you know.

You really, yeah, you're attached to yourself, dude. Oh. Lewis, like what's he put, Lewis can put you on Skankfest. Lewis, I'm gonna put you in the movie. I've never attached myself to that kid. What do you, I mean, I- You literally opened the show,

I'm gonna, I found Lewis, I found this guy. I found them, they attached themselves to me. Okay, yeah. Then they let me I found them, they had to have themselves to meet. Okay, yeah. Then they let me go as soon as they had fame. Really just my snip sniping. That's why those two losers are here. I was like, I'm so next to them. When is your, we got to wrap this up.

We went really long. I was only doing an hour tonight. Oh. And we went up to doing almost two. Hey, when is your special? Tonight, tomorrow. No, no, no, no, tomorrow, tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Eastern. And I'd love for you to watch it live. Go watch it live. I'll be in the chat. Tomorrow, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You can see it on my Instagram link. My Instagram is Ron on Comedy, R-A-A-N-A-N.

Comedy. What's your last name? But yeah, but watch my special. It's all I have. Very funny fucking guy. Hilarious clips on Instagram. Thank you. I'll check it out.

Can I let my son watch it? Yeah, I think so. All right, cool. I do have a bag. If you can't sleep. What? I have a pegging bed. Yeah, I'll skip that bag. If you can't sleep. What? I have a pegging bed. Yeah, I'll skip that one. But you don't skip that part.

But you can watch the other stuff. He said, I think so. He's like, it's a bit weird. He comes and he gets fucked in the ass with the buildup. We just got to learn. You know kids, he's gonna know anything about children. Kids these days, are you kidding me? We'll just skip that part.

Yeah, he's on with that. I'm gonna tell him what pegging is. Oh, you know, it's like committing a crime. I'm like, you know like Legos. It's a with that. I'm gonna tell him what pegging is. Oh, you know, it's like committing a crime. I'm like, you know, like Lego. It's a bit longer. What do you think I'm like, fuck it, a chilled sack. It was like a bomb. You pretty clean.

You have a lot of things. I am clean, but I have a peck. Some men are full of shame, son. And they want to get that out of the ass. Yeah, look at that one. It's all clean. What do you got, buddy? And you can check out my podcast,

The Column Terrel Podcast. That's available everywhere. What do you got buddy? And you can check out my podcast call them Terrell podcast that's available everywhere and if you're in Ireland and England I'm doing some dates in December. Where do I gotta go to fucking Ireland in England? I don't know Louis Dune the tour. Why don't you go with him? I want to go by myself. Well then just go do your show together and well Do you have fans because I don't have any fans? Yes So what do I just rent in the studio? Rent the room? You'll go take book the things and then I go and we fill the room and then you go up first

and I go up after you. You're performing at the Mouch chunk opera house. Yep. I got a lot of dates coming up. Robert Keller Live.com, LaFactory, Chicago, McKenry next week, Montchunk Opera House, Newtown Theater, and of course, Skank Fest is coming up and then CB Live, Hilarities, Comics come home.

I mean, I got a lot of dates, man. Rhode Island, my favorite one of my favorite clubs of all time, go get the new shirt, fuck the check spot, especially for a comedian. Get the goddamn shirt, wear it at your clubs. Let's get this check spot out of these fucking clubs so we can do our hour headlining set without being interrupted with your fucking math

because you're banging a waitress. Which clubs don't do the check spots, like on the road? Some of them don't. How many cell does it? On the road, I mean. I feel like if anyone, Vesonis didn't do great during it is you I don't want it to I know I know I know I'm building this thing up I have an hour is like this is the last 15 But you're probably hilarious where I want to step on it. Let's go. No, it kills me

Because they're all they get vulnerable to the ending. What's that? They get vulnerable to the ending like when you're in the last 15 minutes. Yeah, it's just me crying over to get vulnerable to the ending like when you're in the last 15 minutes. Just me crying over. Kind of kind of got off getting pegged while they're going. That's $12 for that same gray. Yeah. I want to thank Joe at jokes. Rysole, I want to thank new Nikki.

It's good to see you new Nikki. I missed you. At Mike V. Shores for being there all some along. While we did the stream yard while I was up in the shed, not the shed, the fucking tiny house. I'm getting a shed this week. I'm going back up there

because we had a shed delivered. So I'm going back up to the tiny house this weekend. So I'll be doing a culture and Kelly from up there. I'm very excited to go back up there. And then, and that's it. We got subscribe. If you're watching this on you to do me a favor, just subscribe. We got to get you, you know, the numbers up. Let's go. I mean, they're

going up, smoking. Now you cocks like I was just watching this and moving on. Let's go. Hit the subscribe. What does it cost you to subscribe, like, and then comment. You can call not me, but run on a fat fuck. I mean, that's just said, right? I gotta get people... Whatever, I should hear the meaner, whatever. It's all about the algorithm, man. Let's get this algorithm. We'll find one joke in the hour,

and just be like, that's been done. And they love that. Just find one random little thing. You can find a lot more than just one joke, or you can say that. And that's it. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Bolotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. you