Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Comedy Adjacent

Episode Date: August 29, 2016

This week! Tim Dillon hosts with guests Luis J Gomez, Yannis Pappas, Ramon Rivas, Dave Smith, and Paul Virzi! Booked by Luis and Joe, the assembled crew converse on matters pertaining to the Just For Laughs festival, comedy justice, and the search for the ideal rifle! Watch / Listen and enjoy!   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude. On the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com.

There's a comedy show creeps with kids It's August 3rd, yes creeps with kids Village underground creeps with kids Get your tickets today Robert Kelly creeps with kids K-R-E-P-S creeps with kids Bonnie McFarlane creeps with kids Get your tickets today

Ron Bennington hosts creeps with kids Lewis J. Gomez creeps with kids Call special services creeps with kids Get your tickets today Jim Flore and teen creeps with kids. ComedyCellar.com creeps with kids. Take their kids away. Creeps with kids.

Get your tickets today. Welcome to the Floodiest Podcast. I'm going to need to burn it. This is going to be a clutch that was here. Oh, yeah, I got to retweet that I flew over it. This was here. Go to the micass hall. There are black and white hair. It weathen a fly right here. The mic ass hall There are black and white

I get mic That was your like a comic I have a bunch of guys on it's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes It's at no topics no directions. I love doing it Way both sides of the coin That's how it all started. That's how it all started. You want a day, you think my podcast is popular enough?

I might affect some of these lines. You never know. That's what we're telling you. You know what to podcast on lightcast.com. All right, everybody. Welcome to YKWD. This is Tim Dillon, filling in for Bob Kelly who's in LA. Timmy!

Here to the game. Yeah. I appreciate that. This just became Long Island local radio. This is... Welcome to Suffolk Counties. You know what, dude? We're gonna be in Leviton tonight.

Ha ha ha. This is a Long Island Expressway show. It's like if Bobby Kelly franchise out, like they do the shitty markets. Just fat angry guys across the country. I do get bought into my right KWD franchise. I get 20% off the top. Bobby takes the rest.

By the way, we give it away. Dovry dig into new R reaches out there. Melville. Oh, man, it's good to be here. We're going to go through the room. We got a lot of funniest comics. You can do a Bobby doesn't make scope. We're going to do. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Bobby does. Out 100%.

Everybody. Because that you don't have to worry about the pressure of introducing it. No, no, we're going to have scope, but do it. This is what he does. And he does it well. Yeah, Queen's accent coming at you right now we got he's going to the all fall left we ever

own Revis hello cleanly clear while city of champions city of champions there you go man I like one relax another Hispanic person on the

end of the table is nice yeah man well he we have balanced out the brown well we have balanced out the brown. Well, we have to have you here, you know, for diversity. Right. That equals one black. Yeah.

That's true. Well, you're like not really. I'm a half Puerto Rican. You have to look. We'll see. What's the other half? Italian Irish. Italian.

Italian Irish. Italian Irish. Italian Irish. Yeah. Why does it work? It's so there. I didn't know you were Italian. Yeah, bro. It's so funny when I hear someone's Italian, I start liking them better.

Instead of getting started. No, Italians have that style. Like I like you just going on with the sound. Like I fucking knew I like this. I just remember you. I knew I hung with Louis Fowl. I knew I liked this game. Just figured it out.

So the Italian side is the real ad. Scoop a take control and the border against that. The fucking show. No, that's not me. It's the brown spot now. Okay, you're in trolling the show now Tim through it over to you. This is this is this is your time that we have Dave Smith everybody What's up? Thanks guys, that's nice. Let's go through it quick. Then we have Paul Verzi. Oh Flood City himself is back. Youngest poppers

But it's very, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh 25% Italian hey, that's all right. You'll take it better than on Puerto Rico How are you 100% Italian? No, no You're not Italian at all like I'm not even Italian. My mother is 100% Greek. He's half and half. Oh, okay, but that's, they're close. You're Greek Italian and Greek are close. My mother is 100% Greek. My father is 100% Sicilian. I'm Greek, too.

Are you? Yeah. You live in a 20% Greek. You have to be Greek. All right. I don't know, and now I just like you better now. Yeah, Irish, Italian and Greek. Tim, what are you, 100% Irish?

I'm Irish a little German. Yeah, you got Irish. I'm Irish. Dude Greek girls are so fucking hot and Greek dudes are so disgusting Excuse us. It really is like if you look at like all Greek chicks are fucking smoking hot across the board And then every time yeah, they are they're fucking hot. Yeah, everyone you're gonna take a firm stance on I'm a detective. Not one. Not your Greek fucking great grandmother.

That bitch is hot. But every time we meet a Greek dude, it's like a fucking hairy like greasy looking motherfucker. You're looking right at one that Lauren happens to be attracted to. Your whole line. Are you attracted to Janice Lauren? Absolutely. No. Lauren, what are you?

I'm Italian. Full Italian? Full bread. So silly or no? No.. Full Italian? Full bread. Cecilia, no. No. A Brutee. Brutee. What about John Stamos?

We're just going to forget about John Stamos. Oh, yeah, you know what? I take it back. There's one attractive. There's one attractive Greek guy. Yeah, Greek guy. And that's it. Like Italian, Italians can be attractive.

Puerto Ricans can be attractive. Greeks, just the women. You know, Irish people have a Irish win. Well, you heard it there from Lewis J. Goman was a fun If we just replace like a sociology professor The grapes This is gonna take all of three minutes

The chicks are hot every last one of them No, I he a right though you were gonna say The chicks are hot. Every last one of them. No, he's right, though. You were going to say, Irish chicks are one or the other. Irish chicks. It's beautiful, or it's an absolute shit. They look like cabbages, many of them. They age.

That's the thing. They're hot until about 40 to the old age. That's the evolution. That's the one or the other. I would say it's like maybe 10% of Irish chicks are hot like one out of every 10. But then there's a lot of there's a lot of masculine Irish. English Irish Scottish that's just a fucking disgusting.

Those are the chicks who will help you move. Yeah, those are made, you know, and in the early in the like the 20s in New York, the Irish maids were called like the maid was called a Bridget because it was always an Irish chick who was like a hard scrabble. Yes, he grows. You walk in your apartment just a disgusting Irish chick would and then go home and get a rascale by a husband. And that's how Irish chicks evolved into these monsters. I thought they were just picked forehead. Yeah, like when I grew up, when I grew up, I was surrounded by hard Irish women with psoriasis and sunburns and do a smoke cigarette in action

to like the seashells and just sit out to hammered and go fuck you. And like that's what makes our scary when you're a kid. Those are the type of women who will like hit other people's kids. Yeah, I've seen a Irish woman just well on somebody. Absolutely. Just Boston moms with like,

oh, four of us over tattoos. Have you ever been hit by another adult as a kid? Yeah, who'd you get hit by? Dude, we got this fucking woman. I mean, we were young. We might have been like fourth grade, but we were like throwing,

I think we were throwing water balloons at their cars. Oh yeah, we were being dead. That car is not that bad though. You get what do you kidnap me? This woman. How could it be worse? You throw it out. How could it be worse? It was shooting oozey.

It was in a plane. You throw that in a guy's windshield. He can't see fucking craft. You used to fill them with pass. We were throwing them in. I threw them in car. Well, he grew up with parents. There were some rules.

Yeah. He didn't go all the way crowbar to the front of a puppy. We just killed him. Oh, you used to use water balloons. We used to fill balloons with explosives. And then we would blow up cars, whatever. So you got mad at you for that? Somebody smacked you, because of that?

Yeah, this chick, so this fucking black black woman who I guess the crazy thing was She was walking by and I guess we had Throat it up. This was so crazy We had gotten her like I guess a couple weeks earlier. We did this regular way She's so she saw us throwing and put together she was like, oh those are the kids who got me and she chased me and I ran and I ran like into this apartment. There's no way you could have run a black person. No, I ran into an apartment. Some of the lippers are happening right in here.

Yeah, she was, this black chick was in amazing shape. Great. She just looked, she passed like five people who were running in the canals. I was like, she's gaining on me. There were hurdles. She caught me in like a vestibule of like a building. I couldn't get in because the door was like I was like oh shit. I'm trapped and then she came in and slapped me across the face

And then we both had a weird moment like I think she was kind of like I just hit a kid How old were you no? I was just kind of in shock. I fourth grade fifth grade so okay? So 13. Yeah, is that that's old enough to get that's what a region agent for great. Yeah What kind of day did you need to have to throw shit? That's people what kind of what like what kind of day did you have to have to like let's go reward ourselves? I block so over and I'm having a bad one we used to do pranks. We used to throw eggs There was a ballies gym in a town. I lived it at we used to

Island the ballet. Yeah, ballies It's what any micro friends work to this day. I need them or employed there as personal trainers and We would throw eggs at the at the windows and ballies while people are on the ellipticals and shit and none of them cared Like it was the work because we would just chuck eggs and nobody gave us shit So then we started throwing them a car and then people then we got a toxic cars do you do rocks at cars at cars on a white that's the Greek side of you just a little piece of shit animal Greek ugly side of you I never forget dude and there were three of us and we're just like winging them and we just hit and we just saw this kind of like stop and go back Jesus and they were coming and they were like they were we were gonna

get to share me we what we were doing was dangerous and ridiculous right and we had to go all the way in these shrubs like we were like in the middle of a bush like just scraped and and we ran up go all the way in these shrubs, like we were in the middle of a bush, like just scraped, and we ran up when we got out and cops were there, and they were like, you guys throwing rocks, and we're like, no, no, no, no, get out of here. But guys, it's called being white, you know?

It's throwing rocks, not. Good, you know what I mean? It's like, if you're black, you're like, you was throwing rocks, and what? They talk to Indodore rocks. Yeah, you show you what they're like. You can go, we're looking for some black people. Like, even that's black.

We're looking for some black people walking. That's how I know it's like that. She's cut over to like some black people, like coming from book club and they're like, oh, right, book them. Right. People are walking out of church. They're like, they were throwing rocks.

Rock throwing carries a mandatory minimum sentence of 17 years. What would you do with Cleveland growing up bad shit? Anything bad? I just was, I wasn't allowed to hang out with my bad cousins I like they wound up in prison and shit, but like I just had to stay away from them Really, yeah, but were they cool? Did you want to hang out with that? Yeah, cuz they sound great Even had like ninja stars and shit and they were like great weed. Yeah, yeah

Someone weed and shit. Yeah, probably They would let you smell their girlfriends Places on the fingers. These guys are the best. Yeah. And so you would not allowed to go near them. No, I mean I was but like it just wasn't like they Were just mean to me when I hang out with them. So I just didn't like I didn't like that. Yeah, we did you have bad family members? Yeah, but I'm a bad family member. You know like a guy that they would like stay away from no, no Didn't have one I wasn't a row or something this guy wasn't privileged to have a molester. Wow. I didn't have a molester either Yeah, nobody had a molester. I had a distant molester You sure you didn't have one I wish I had because you see yeah molested I see my last did I seem like I've continually been molested. Yeah, because you don't seem like a gay guy

I seem like you're straight but you enjoyed a dude sucking your dick at one lot and you never been able to go out with had to be molested because my body type is a type you have to get introduced to young and life Like very sorry, so I would have had a lot of those Get introduced to it. I hang I go out with their autistic and they look at the ground and I'm like, oh, okay. I get, I'm like an awful, and he can only kiss me when I'm sleeping. Yeah.

They're like, you gotta climb into my bed when I'm sleeping. Right, after what they, I make them say, let's not tell your parents. You, but, you, you, you, you, you, you, grind your grinder. I just picture guys showing up, be like, are you sure, dude? They, what, what, what, what's up, guy, hey, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up They will what is up guy? Hey, what is up?

He's got like fancy tightens, German. I got this bring the check over here. You're sucking who's dick first. Why not? Why don't you get the flag boy? Like do you get like the, like the, oh my god, are those the guys you date or no? No, not really. I mean I get, those guys like me,

and I don't go out with them, but I get like kind of, I feel like you date old gay dudes. No, I don't, I date young dudes like young weird. I don't do just fuck checks and this is all bullshit. I'll be hilarious for a fat wife and then nobody know. I'm like this is fucking brilliant. I'm explaining you. Yeah, this is the move. Okay. Being Lewis hatched this idea. Lewis is like listen, you got to be a fake. You want to get away with it? Sometimes your friend Lewis would be the guy who would come up with something like that You like listen don't say anything to anyone. I'll cover you. I'll make sure fucking brilliant

Yeah, cuz nobody's what you do. This how you do to get do this like hot do this. Yeah, right? Pretend your shit all the it's just Lewis has all the answers Pretend you're straight right just say I'm a straight guy and I want to experiment you will fucking get those little fucking dudes that want to get that straight come the funniest thing that's high level right there straight Come is the fucking highest level of come just imagine it in the sociology class Oh It's looking like. That concludes chapter one.

Great. Yeah. Now let's move on to where we weren't come. That's the one. The funny thing. One of the funny things Yana said was what I was going to show one day. And Yana's goes, it would I feel like

like if I tried to get into a gay bar there would be like, well, you just hit a gay bash. Why don't you get out of here? Yeah. What are you here to fucking? I feel like if you were like, you know, when those religious people

will argue that being gay is a choice. Yeah. I feel like if you were like you know when those religious people will argue that being gay is a choice Yeah, I feel like you would be like evidence of that But that's only this guy claims to be that only because only gay dudes you see or with the ones in the out there on TV And they're the ones that are crying and ice skating and dancing, you know what I mean? No, I know a few gay guys who I'm like they were born this way I feel like you're just being a dick. Well, this is a choice guys who I'm like they were born this way I feel like you're just being a dick. Well this is a choice. I'm just rooting it.

I sat down with my manager. He said you got to be something. His fat white guy is from uniform. And it's been good. Yeah. What you're gonna call what? When you when you you you you you have gay friends you have a gay friend you that's it that doesn't count.

No I have gay friends. I got a I got a trainee friend great. I got a I got a bunch friend? Yeah. That's it? That doesn't count. No, I have gay friends. I have a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a bunch of gay friends. Which training friend? Who's the training friend? She's a friend of mine. She's cool. We got a dinner. She's a lot.

Okay. Oh, I know. She always goes to the rules and shows. Yeah, she loves her. Oh, great. Yeah, she's cool. I'm giving shit. You do what you want to do with your dick and asshole.

I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Right. You know what I'm gonna do. Do what you want to do with your dick and asshole. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, right You know, I'm a dude. You want to do with my dick and asshole, you know, it's free Yeah, I mean don't tell me what to do with my dick and asshole. I won't tell you to do the earth and great That's 100% 100% 100% Oh pussy Yeah, I'm gonna get better for you guys. What's in Cleveland? Is there like a The transgender thing is like the newest Yeah, I don't like yeah, I don't think they're like we can call Trannies.

No, transgender. I'm giving another five years. Lewis has another five years of saying that we're tranny. Yeah, he's grandfathered in. But I got another 30 or 40 days for the word nigger still. If you listen to it, we are though that it's like people of color or colored people. Like it's like such a small thing makes so much difference

And you're right, you know, even just ran e or trying. It's just such a funny thing to fight over like whether you go E or Like right at the end of the word. I think that's just like today's mentality. It's just cunts, you know, well I think it's like why are we just gonna change the word every 10 years and then decide that people using the old one are assholes? Like, why are we doing that? It's the same word, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's a, a mad about like the word faggot the word Tranny, but you know it's a good one that points out the example that they're just words cocksucker nobody brings that up nobody cares

Cocksucker that started like a great point. Yeah, it starts at like a George, but like nobody ever it's it doesn't mean that anymore. I mean this guy's a dick. Yeah same like Faggot doesn't mean like oh, let's go Bash that's a long Island the long Island version is cocksla. I mean you're a big It means you're a big Oxlop. Yeah, yeah, Faggot means vegan. I think Faggot is now meaning everything but gay. Yeah, it's like everything Faggot he decided was a front of a deer man I'm on friends. Yeah, you know what he was like what are you not eating tonight? What are you? But here's a thing here's wait here's wait here's the other study are you not eating tonight? What are you a bag? It isn't think here's a thing. Here's wait. Here's we here's the other study argument. I'm sucking that dick

What are you a bag? You do people do say it in a hateful way and so that becomes an issue people say hey? Fuck that fake like that's where people I thought it were the word came from and where the word came from was the sticks They called the sticks bags and then they burned them So that's where that's what it originally Wait a minute wait a minute. We all saw that episode of Louis II, you faggot. Yeah, it's not your way to go. I didn't even see it from Louis. I was actually told that.

And what is it, the sticks? In England, they called the sticks, cigarettes, they called them fags. Right. And they was a burner, burn a fag. Oh, like burn the gay guy. Right. Well, that's offensive.

Yeah. Yeah. That's somewhat offensive. Was that in Louis? Well, a flaming gay guy is the most day could ever be. You can't take the context out of words. You know, it's like, yeah, absolutely. End words, bad attitude.

But that's what the culture does now. But that's the point is that it's instead of like what Tim was kind of getting at, I think, is instead of people being offended by like what the meaning was or what the point someone was making is it's just become this like if you hit the no no word Yeah, people go like oh, I heard that word. Therefore you're bad. It doesn't matter. I like right which is horse shit Yeah, right, you know, it's like right what are we then the Canadian comic God? Yeah, you just got a friend Mike war yeah, but yeah, I'm friends with Mike, but he got his money from comics Yeah, which is great, which is great

Which is great, which is great. He did it quick now. We know what was that a tribunal? What are they what are they? What what exactly was the body that found him guilty human rights tribunal? That's such a scary fucking term Quebec is like a like a guest is what happens Quebec is where they're really crazy up there I mean, I guess in all of Canada like they don't really have anything like as clear as what we have with the first amendment Yeah, I don't have anything that just like protects you against shit like this. Yeah, but I guess only in Quebec Are they like really actually crazy enough to go after someone and it's cool that comics like chip that in and that's cool That we came together and found a way to like solve that but how crazy is that that's insane government Extorted this to yeah for tens of thousands of dollars. Let me just said a week came together

No, nobody just wrote I did when I do I'm an extorted this dude for tens of thousands of dollars. Let me just say to we came together and nobody in the swimming zone. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything.

Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything.

Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. Nobody just wrote anything. What a noble comment. When you know the ghost fund me though, you can't do the minimum. Like when you see everybody's like some comments gave 10, you can't fucking do that. Who does anonymous? Fuck you. Yeah, fucking anonymous.

I'm your man. I'm your man. I share the go fund me into me. That's my donation. I feel like 10 and I share it. By the way, Tim. I passed the buck. Tell the way.

I completely agree because I felt like my influence and my power as an influencer is gonna be more valuable than the $40 that I'm going to give you 20 bucks I'm going to share the go fund me That's potential I'm sick of go fuck cuz you're a go fund me this is a guy in Long Island who's a comic who is a go fund me goes like this Hey my car is a ye I probably got a year left on the car and the guys like I really want to see my kids Let's the fucking help me out. I'm like I've never owned a car. Yeah, that I confidently said oh in a year this could be you know, so some of these things

are insane. If I'm going to donate money to your go fund me your kid better be dying or you better like better be something crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy. I'm not going to share it. The one with crazy crazy. The comics go to his guy. That's really sad. I was sad one. Yeah. it's a great comic a Barsha brand and really funny guy. Oh my god. I died That's a type of shit you donate to yeah, you know, well, I'll donate to that one if you give it to me All right, everybody listening. That's the new bar. All right, so if you're trying to set up a go fund Yeah, you know if you child is not died fucking these. Yeah, that's it Have you ever set up a go fund me for anything? No know, if you child has not died, you're not talking about it. Yeah, that's it. Have you ever set up a go fund me for anything?

No, I always feel weird about like begging for money for my fans. Yeah, I did sell a t-shirt, I don't know. Yeah, I did years ago. We made a comedy documentary. We did a go fund me with it. And it was all people who'd been coming to comedy shows and Cleveland for years.

Right. And then we filmed it and then edited it. Well, you're a big force in that scene down there. You're at people have said you're the reason there's a comedy scene. Yeah, like I run this thing called accidentalcomedy.com so it's like a bunch of weekly and monthly shows and then a yearly comedy festival.

So it's just like a dense. Right, right. It's like the... I just imagine your cousins are using that website to wonder money. Yeah, for sure. What do you think about this? There's a comedy festival in New York

that was really controversial because it was called the center block festival there were charging white dudes i think i think it was kind of like a joke or a gag with a charging white guys was in a gag it wasn't a gag it wasn't a fucking okay was in a gag okay was it okay i get that you don't count as a white guy because you're a fucking no they put the book they put me on the thing i said no but they put you as paid a fruit bag i like that one that They put me on the thing, I said no, but they put you as paid a fruit bag. I like that one. A fruit bag. I'll explain to people what a fruit bag is.

We want a fruit bag. It's like a fucking bag of mangoes. No, what did it, what did it, it was charging? There was charging white guys more money. And that was a good promotional tool because they made so many people talk about like, there's so many festivals now, it's hard to kind of stand out. So them doing that just made, made everyone everyone mad but it also got them a lot of discrimination gets right yeah they charge a $25 fee to submit right as a young comic you may

pay 25 bucks as a watcher tape see if you can get it in this festival and if you were a minority or a woman they charge you 77 cents on the dollar because that's how much women's supposed to get paid. Yeah, but yeah, that's the idea, right? So it was just cute thing, but it was like fuck, fuck straight white guys. Basically cute little thing. It was just fuck straight white guy. I like that. You got mad because you're not straight white. I know. Yeah, you are. What do you think I like about Lewis and speaking as a straight white guy? Lewis always takes up the mantle of straight white guy. I appreciate that.

I really wish I had one. There are a few people do. No, you do see my face. But that's honest. I like that. I like that. Lewis has a very balanced perspective on race. And this is very like column-how he sees him.

Because you always raise in a white household. But you'll cite against white people in certain situations and whatever. I don't know. Lewis, how old were you when you stopped when you were like, I don't want, I wish I wasn't Hispanic. Like, when did that

Anything yeah, it says a capitalist race. He's got a middle initial Don't I'm kidding about that But what's funny is when I was a little kid I really did want to be white because I was in my neighborhood I grew up on a block. It was like all white trash So you said like beat me up and call me a nigger on a spick and fucking spit on me and I also wish I was white I say that and You know I tell you and I was racist family that wouldn't even like correct me. Yeah, they're like hey, I get it

Oh, wait no, wait no, this guy's Those guys out there in the street they got a point those guys out there in the street they got a point. No. Yeah. Yeah. You got to see that. That's see pictures from their point of view. Maybe one day we got pictures.

Imagine you're a demon, this big brown picture. Yeah. He comes the right answer. Yeah. What are you going to do? I have to give him a nice lickin. Yeah. He's saying your prayers, maybe it'll happen.

You're the one of the lucky ones. Yeah. You know what nobody admits? You know what nobody admits? You know what nobody admits? And nobody admits when they move into a neighborhood that like you got to find out what's in the neighborhood. You know. What do you mean nobody?

Nobody. Nobody. Nobody admits. There's a thing. What? That was very. That was so Italian. Because you know what?

I'm not trying to be racist. I'm just saying. It's a weird thing that nobody has missed. Back in the neighborhood. That is, Tommy, the stuff. You don't care how many fucking blots in your neighborhood. Well, it's not even that. It's like I look at the property value of the schools.

And when you talk to a real estate agent, that is like an underlying thing that's out there. And nobody talks, because when people go, hey, how's the neighborhood? How's the neighborhood is white people code for all their minorities there? It just is.

So when you say that to a real estate agent, he knows and he know, hey, the neighborhoods are really good. You've got my savior in your neighborhood. Oh, yeah. Pictures of fucking deer. Like, you put up on Facebook. There's some minorities in my neighborhood, but the number's one.

You're the Dominican deer. I'm not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's definitely not a bad thing. I don't know what I'm saying, but I'm saying good or bad, but definitely not bad. Yeah. No, you're right. Here's the point of the fucking white guy, and this is something to me in Ramonkin, like, you know, it's a little advantage that we have.

The privilege of being a brown person in America today is you can just kind of say, racer, shit. Like, I could say that you can't really say that What the thing about it is is every white people are the only ones or it seems really white men or straight white men Or whatever are the only ones held to this standard Everybody else is kind of like say whatever you want to but we're gonna put what white men say under a microscope And if it's if it's if it's deemed slightly offensive then we're gonna jump all over it's just fucking But look this thing with the Cinder block festival, like they got,

like traction and people were talking about them because of that. But like we've said this before, it's fucking disgusting to run a festival based off charging comics to submit. I mean, let me ask you, let me ask you. I was told about watching Skankfest on Fold was like, you guys just completely, and because you were, you're at a point where like you were able to get sponsors and all that type of shit, where most festivals starting out don't really have that, that type of base.

We didn't get sponsors. Okay. Well, we did it after the fact, but we booked it, and then you are listening. We booked it. Next year. We had a fan based built into our podcast, and we booked professional, really funny comedians,

and word of mouth, you know, kind of let it take off. And that was that you have to spend the money. It's a business. You can't just go, you can't come out and go, I'm just going to fucking charge, you know, a thousand comics, 25 bucks each and then start 25k profit and go, I mean, you can do it. But it's just a shitty way to do it. And then to do that and then try to disguise it as something noble because your charge is way more like fuck you do charging you're still charging minorities

yeah you're still living the most you're still living the most yeah yeah yeah yeah for my festival like I do a mix of like invitation and then like submissions for the last few spots but then I ran out the whole Cleveland Hostel so everyone who gets comes to Cleveland has somewhere to stay. Because on my festival, you just kind of fucked when you get there. You just kind of have to find a college, just crash on and come out of your pocket

for a whole town. So the thing with the minorities and women. What is it with us Paul? Sociology lesson. The thing. Paranthetical, the thing. The problem. Yeah.

No, but Lewis said something before. And it is a problem it's that because I've had I'm not going to mention names I don't want people to get in trouble with their jobs but I've had networks say look dude I'm just telling you right now they want women they're going heavy on women they're going heavy on women and when people say when a white one is straight white dude goes all right well let's kind of fucked up the thing that's cool now to say as well you guys had your time that's the acceptance that people like you guys you guys been crushing it.

You guys been crushing it forever. Let other people and it's also like we'll look at the stats. There's more of us. Yeah, have you thought about like touching it and like going into the lady? That's it. That's a change to tell you. Yeah, I'm going up in the lower east side of New York City. Right.

That's a gentle. That'd be hilarious if you just called me up on day like dude. But you see I just throw it for it dude I just start for it. Yeah, I'm living in You have to you have a funeral for you honest You speak at it is a straight white oppressor he's done Look the first. He's a good thing. It's a good thing and listen listen, isn't it? It was very, isn't it? Is it a good thing? I was just in a life for two months. And I was the only brown comic on most shows, maybe one or two others, unless it was like a Moebada Mondays or chocolate sundays or like Baron Vaughn's new Negroes.

And, but that's because I don't, that shows what about 200 years? Unless it was this one now. Unless there's those three shows that like a city with yeah, I know and And but that's me. I don't look at it I don't think it's diverse because I don't count women or gay people as diversity because they're usually white because they're not Like color wise. It's still very monochromatic. Yeah, but look I don't think but it may be the first if you look at comedy to say I mean I'm not saying diversity I actually think is is I think it's important. It's great. I think talent is what's really

Interversity for the sake of diversity Yes, but they are that you look at comedy and feel like there needs in any way to be some force diversity Comedy has historically been dominated by blacks and Jews It's been it's been an area where the some of the most persecuted groups have been able to dominate the idea that you need a force It didn't go well. What's the Asian count this year? I'm not gonna take something on here's the problem with the Jews though I just don't buy I do love diversity about comedy, but when I think of comedy like the diversity Well, they are what is the same listen. It's the same type of black guy It's the same type of gay dude. It's not diverse unless you have me sucking a dick

That's not it's not diverse to have a gay dude. That just sounds wrong. It's a big old fucking pause But that's diversity That's a brilliant point. It's like some 26 year old Yeah, and these are pounds who fucking sucks who I said who got you know high up at some some company because they They brown nose the whole time and then they they're like, yeah, we need diversity, meaning the same exact black character, the same exact gay character, the same exact gay guy. This isn't diversity at all, you're just fucking boring.

And even with the two of us, I just last an L, fired three people today. Yeah, crazy. I just love how they were having a serious conversation about diversity and comedy, and they were talking about Tim's hands with holding a cock. Listen, I'll say you,

don't talk by your contractor. What do you say, but what a great thing, what a great thing to have the pain that outside of your contractor jerking off. You put your pavement and then these boards are going to grip that weight source of joy. But the whole time he's jerking you off, you're like, does this change the price we agreed to?

Say, dance is your man at a great point. It sounds like I'm like a foreman at a union. It tells everybody, listen, I- Anthony, get over here. There's the job to be cut. I am gay also. Please sign up for health insurance if you need it. You know when it comes to comedy, everything comes out in the wash.

You know if you get something because you fit a demographic that the network's trying to promote, that's business, you know, that's what it is. In comedy, it comes out in the wash. Like if you're not funny, you don't have chops eventually. Yeah, but can I say this though? People are sheep in that, they don't actually know what they like.

The reason that NBC still fucking exists is because they go, all right, we're just gonna trust NBC to put the best show on. And then they go, okay, I like it. Does everybody else like it? Okay, I like that too. So if they're pushing a specific thing, if they're pushing an Asian woman in place of a dude, it's not like it's a market demand.

They're kind of creating that thing. And but it does, it has bad consequences too. I mean, look, you can, you can look at a, at, at like a, on comedy central with the news shows, like they clearly made a push to be like now that Stuart and Colbert were gone to make it a more like diverse group and it's like, okay, well It's fucking thank God. It's tanking and you know, I want to go to blow people for my politics But there were look. I think there were these There were a lot of people when it was when it was John Stewart and Colbert because they're like lefty guys

But you know a lot of people used to complain about those two the liberal complaint would be like Oh, it's just more white men and even when that cancel Colbert thing came up that that really came out that a lot of people were like Oh, you know if they're so liberal how come it's just white men up there and people just underestimated the fucking talent Those two are guys and hope they're not fucking fucking They're fucking brilliant comedians I did that show if you think you're just gonna find another guy like that right? I made it. Huh? He made it. Yeah, I mean think about the show was around before him It was yeah, he made it his own who was it?

I killed Great What did they fire from SNL Jay Farrow Jay Farrow John Rednitsky. Yeah, I don't know a terror I don't know the other guy no Jay and I know it'll tell you why they fired you from SNL. Jay Farrow. Jay Farrow. John Rydnitsky. Yeah. We're tearing kids out of guys. I don't know. I don't know the other guy. No, Jay. And I know. They don't tell you why they fired you from SNL. No, that's what they all said. He's cold blooded. No, no, no, no. Michael's cold. No, that's not. Karen Kim was in like almost every day. He was the good. He was a good and and Jay, both of them were in their sixth year with one more

year on the contract. Jay was a shock at one. He was. He did a lot of shit on that show. He did. Yeah, Obama. Yeah, Jessica guy a Obama. He did a lot of impressions. Great impressions. Yeah. He did. Thanks, go, Paul. Did you ever audition? Yeah. Long time ago. Long time ago. Long when I first started doing what impressions did you do? It was funny because they make you they make you sign a contract before you get on stage, which is crazy. Wow. Before the audition, you sign. They own you.

They own you. So just in case Lauren Michaels likes you, you're already signed. Wow. You're locked in and you know. He gets a piece of you like if you keep going. Yeah, yeah, okay. Smacked.

And what do you do? You do characters? When I did it, it was the year Rob Riggle got it. Okay. So what year was that? was 2004 okay four maybe yeah five latest maybe just price on us how old are you 75 I've been around a long time he's like it went with Steve Barton got it I was the gonna Steve Martin got it. Gilder Radner, my girlfriend got it, but I was,

I was, you guys come and go. No, so they, yeah, so it was like, I did, it was, it was the comic strip and I did stand up.

Okay. Cause I had the, yeah, I had a friend of mine managing me at the time who I grew up with. Sounds good. Sounds good. I didn't really get the right, I thought it was like New York and the, yeah, I'm a friend of mine managing me at the time who I grew up with Sounds good. I didn't really get the right. I thought I was in New York I'm No, no, my buddy and so I thought that I thought that it was like there was two auditions one was stand-up one was

Like characters when they do the on camera. I didn't know that it was like here's your audition And then if you get a call back, it's they want to look at you on camera, right? I went up there and did stand up and and at that time my stand up was horrific. So I basically, I didn't do bad, but. Do you wish you'd loop back around or do you like, I don't know? What are you gonna do, you know? My comedy's one failure after,

my career's one failure after that. Well, that's all comedy is, it's a failure. Lord was there, and he walked in, dude, and he's like, he got out of like his fucking like whatever, Catti, and he had two chicks with him him I mean, he's like a Don and then yeah like Tina Fey was there watching Horacio Sands was there watching and Yes, that's what it was Yeah, okay, is that just kill yeah, you guys

I was about your ass in that was I want to hear some of fucking impressions or something I don't know you know you're gonna bum me out with that story We all just quit now, like, this isn't heading anywhere good. Get the fuck out of here. That show. That shows now, what do you, you can't, the thing is, is that shows trying to stay relevant on TV in an era where nobody watches sketches on TV, right? I feel like they did have a little insurgents recently.

It got cooler again, very recently. Maybe it's because did a little insurgents recently. It got cooler again very recently. Maybe it's because I know some of the cast members. I feel like people talk about it again. Thanks for throwing that out. Anytime it's like a political year, they tend to catch like a cultural tailwind. Yeah, yeah. There's like McKinnon's Clinton impressions really, really good. So like the problem right that out for her. But all the clips, you know, everybody watches it and clips online the next day. Well, that's the thing everybody's watching. Well look at key appeal to key appeal We're so fucking funny and they were like we guys watch the show and stop giving us millions of like they love that they had millions of hits Yeah, but nobody was watching the show

Yeah, but where's TV TV even gonna be thing in five years? Is there any gonna be watching? I don't I don't broke this there's a Conan O'Brien set now matter What do you think you know what I mean? It doesn't seem to. I think it's a cool thing to have. No one thing matters. Right. That's what it is. It's a cool thing.

Getting fucking fans matter. Oh my God. That's it. That's it. No, that's a warm one. 100% what he just said is if you have people come to see you and you draw, I think podcasts are bigger than TV. I love it though.

It's pretty amazing, dude, because there's, I mean, me and Lewis talk about this quite a bit But me and Lewis are definitely guys who like I mean we've been in the comedy scene for a while now at this point And we are never got to the time of y'all Well, I'm ordered the time. We're not fucking ancient, but we've been doing this for a little bit And it's like we're not guys who have like like all these people in the industry pulling for us We're just not those guys who are like on the track Well the episode get this I think the re part of the reason is the episode of

the episode of your guys podcast. I was named to rape a retard Not sure if NBC's looking at that How do we make this a TV show? So basically the only one I was on We've been trying to rape Lewis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, if you're gonna make this point, I will just concede to the court

rape is a constant theme. I'm not leaving the state. So I'm not denying it. I'm leaving the state sometimes, and I get so nervous. Yes, my point is we're just out there doing rapey pod tests. You can plug it in and do everything right.

And the Indian word, but anyway, before Donna said this point,, I look forward to that Mjana said this was the point What I'm trying to say though is no matter what it is it's at this point no who gives a shit about the industry We go right to our fucking fans, dude like it doesn't matter. It's true fans listen to the podcast Like the Costco's other Costco comedy. What's up, dude? You know what late-night set is good for yeah to make a good tape for the internet looks awesome to buy Oh That's a checkbox for now a club will be like oh okay, we can bring you

Yeah, cuz it well they they're reactive no one like a fan They need to clip on the screen They need to clip it before you come the fans the fucking bookers the club owners everybody They're all just fucking cheap. They need to be told that you're funny. And it's just if the booker fucking likes you for Conan or or how good they are, what is he is ratings were? Cosmon C is ratings were fucking killing it. And then they literally had to go, no America, he's a joke thief.

See? And then they go, oh yeah, I guess that is how he bullshows out. But I'm just saying it's like literally like what he got he got taken down I played a few minutes now. I mean he's close to the clubs though. Yeah, but do you do His life is good by like our standards Three roommates that's the kiss of death dude if you get labeled about that talk about it guys. It's a new segment talk about it What's this about? What happened? All right, so

All right somebody stole the rapery talk somebody stole a rapery part bit and we're going after How about great with that meeting guys we love what you do? It's a little couple episodes. Alright. I got to... You'd actually, alright, Lewis actually had this experience of being up at Montréal last year and having like first meeting with agents. And they're just like, dude, we love you. We're on the verge of signing you.

This looks great. And then like the second meeting, like this woman just comes in and her face is pale like it goes. And they're like, we Googled you. And I'm telling you, I had an agent in Montreal, I'm not name names, tell me she was like, don't meet with other agents. She was like, oh my God, she was like, if you meet with another agent, I'll be furious with you. I'll be angry.

Lewis, I just found the Twitter handle at Ju Slayer. And, and again, this is you and you. You're leading a movement at Ju Slayer. I heard an agent told you they said there's in the intro to one of your podcasts, you still do something about Jews and they were like, can you bury that a little bit? Yeah, yeah. Because in the intro to the agent's gang, it said, smarmy army little bit? Yeah, yeah. It's like bury the Jews. In the interrelation of Skanktis, it's Smarmy Army stand up and put your fucking

Jew noses in the air. Oh my God. And Jew noses actually, listen to your podcast. You know, hey, all the antistimatic stuff, it's funny, like I get how it's funny. Yeah. And people don't even understand the language because when he said Smarmy Army put your, your, your juice in the air,

that was, he was signing with the juice. That was like the most positive thing about juice that Lewis said. I'm sitting next to two fucking juice as I'm saying it. You know the industry's not worse. I'm getting tight breath all over me. Yeah. So what were you talking about, about jokes, Evern?

Oh, yeah, here's this story. Okay, so, someone stole one of your jokes? No. I was gonna say. Put it out there. Oh, there we go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the dude from the show. Was talking what the dude from the stand the other. Yes. Can we talk like a comedy adjacent person was told that someone who got new faces was a joke.

So they did some online research and found that it was credible. So they went up and watched their new face. So we got a new face pretending to be gay. And then a lot of problems. And then the set they did it new faces was not stoned no borrowed material at all Okay, but it was all topical, but it was all topical. I could have been so then the How many adjacent yeah the comedy adjacent person was like so what should I do now? Like he's calling him a comedy adjacent. You're an educated mother

Trying to like make it kind of a little bit like some guy who's right on the internet Who's rights on the internet? Some faggot! Some faggot is a stare. Fucking snake in the grass! So he just didn't know what you're thinking now. You're doing the impression of me. It sounds like you're fucking about to explode. Oh, the names of the joke on fire.

So what if it's the comedy Jason person goes and fucking? Comedy Jason Faggot goes and... He like he doesn't know who like journalistically What should I do? I'm a reporter should I know? Okay, where's the deal? And the guy went and got new faces. He got new faces. Raptor on wrap. I don't know. I don't even worry about that. We don't want to out the guy. Yeah, we don't want to out the guy. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't know. this guy runs a comedy blog and he was like should I write about this and out this guy So here's the facts. Here's the facts in New York. I huh? No, no, here's the facts There's four jokes. He did the jokes on TV

So he did these jokes on TV the clips online have like a hundred thousand hundreds of thousands of views Gotcha. Yeah, the one joke was actually the full joke Yeah, one joke was actually the full joke from the guy in Australia who stole that joke and did it on Australia's got town. No, yeah, he did that one of the jokes was that guy's jokes. He did he did the joke that was stolen by that guy. stole that guy. Robyn hood. Yeah, I have no problem with that. Yeah, so that one of the jokes is that joke.

The other joke was he stole a joke from a guy who notoriously got busted with that joke. Yes, that's not. Yes, that's crazy. That's palsy. Yeah, it's posh genius. And then I know, I really don't have a problem with that. He's gonna end up on Tim's podcast. Right.

Look, look, there's no reason. I don't know the guy's name. I'm not, so I'm not gonna say the name, but I will say it. Maybe if he did steal it, I'm being very forgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not forgiving, I'm being very correct here. Right. We don't, I'm saying if he did steal it, the shows he did were like black.

So he did Shaxe stand up show. So it's like comedy. Yeah, the joke seemed to be like jokes from white comedians who would never, that those black audience. That's like when you, when Paul asked the real estate agent and goes, so has the neighborhood to go, well, there's Shaxe, I'll start comedy. Right down.

That's right down the block. So it was that joke. It was a normal Donald. He did a new bit. and they were very specific. I did it on a television set. He did them all on television sets. They were, but the jokes were very specific. It would be very difficult for these jokes to not be stolen.

There's no way. The one of them, let's say this is... Two of them, two of them that I heard, there's no way he didn't take it. No, this is what I don't like and this is what comics do. Who's gonna take it and they do it without a fear? Comics do it without a fear because depending on the level the person's at way he didn't take. Forth no, this is what I don't like. And this is what comics do. They do it with that fear. You know comics do it out of fear because depending on the level the person's at, they don't want they get more whispery

depending on how high the person is. The bottom line is when there's smoke, there's fire. If somebody gets called out for one that could be but when somebody gets called out on it, they're a fucking thief too. Yeah. You know, there's the thing. I also, it's not a premp.

Like you can have a premise, right? So like two similar premises is fine. when you get down to the punch right right when the punch line It's also what it's a very unique Not even work right unique punch like because there's I've heard people do Bits that have the same punch line. It's not that crazy Right to people come to come up with it any person that's some look clever some of I've seen I've seen come up you someone where you're like, dude, you're crazy to joke. It's just an easy thing.

You own that. Right, that's different. It's someone who'll have a very generic, a lot of the, a lot of the, a lot of the, a lot of the humor jokes are really easy fucking jokes that, yeah, anybody that's half a comic could come up with those things. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that Kurt Metzger's a joke, since day one.

I think it's also indicative of like, indicative. You mother sorry. Word after word. Tell us about the zeitgeist in which you're going to make your statement. I just think that like if this, if a comment comes up in a cluster of like peers, you check each other on that. That's what I said. Well, I agree.

You're kind of coming up like it sounds like this kid got like kind of cold from like a really young age to like, oh, you're like a teenage comic and we're going to call you along. Well, I know. As in the scene with people who were kind of busts his balls. He's not a New Yorker. I know. I know.

You guys right. But the blogger I'm like, dude, it's not your fucking battle and is a call my journal So I'm like you're not a journalist. No, you're not a comedy blog. Well, do not really are you pretend to be a fucking journalist right now You're not breaking a story it's some young fucking comic Nobody knows who you're gonna ruin this kids You have no life you know the show is you fucking dope., but here's the deal. I mean joke theory is joke theory. This is 100% the reason why it happens so rarely in our community is because of we please see jumping because of how it's police now this is a case where

that's some bar where there's if it was one then you like if there was one then you like yeah, two years still going like I but three three you start to question now forward It's like four fuck that got yeah One of them is a Norm Mcdonald Yeah, how could you not how could you maybe does the voice still no how no he does But this thing is like how could you if you know Norm Mcdonald's kind of first of all that fucking Norm Mcdonald is Just like one of the great No, I love Norm so like a a Norma Donald punchline is like,

how can anyone who's not Norma McDonald come up with a punchline? He is such a unique perspective on it. So you hear the punchline, you're like, you know, the joke in question is like a Tiger Woods joke. And like I had a Tiger Woods joke. A lot of people had Tiger Woods joke. Yeah.

This punchline. It was so bad. Was that the one we were talking about? I lost you a Tiger Woods joke. What was my Tiger Woods joke? No, no, no, no, it's good. Yeah. This punchline. It was so bad. Was that the one that lost you a Tiger Woods joke? What was my Tiger Woods joke? No, no, no, no, no, it's good. I bet it's good. Oh, I bet it's great. Come on.

It was like black people. Yeah, I was like, black people get so rady at sporting events. You ever hear them, they're like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, wait, no, no, Tiger Woods is now doing off. That was a bit boy Where's the rag is the rag gone? It's a bomb down That shit on your mouth. Yeah That is awful. Yeah, I said it was bad. It was one of my old jokes But that's the thing with the comedy journalism like there was it we went off to Montreal the bunch of kids one kid The guy a guy who writes a comedy blog. Just said he didn't like the guy

He's like that act wasn't for me and a guy who writes a comedy blog just said he didn't like the guy he's like that act wasn't for me and uh... people started flipping out and it's like but the same comedy journal so i think that it's like that nobody's reading this fucking blog it's not the same time and the wrong it gives us it's also a little bit weird though like you were saying with this guy who's like oh should i write about him it's like dude it's not like i understand if luise k is make some new movie and you're like oh i didn't feel like this was up to standard right you know

You're like a critic or something when you're like saying you think someone on the level of just got new faces sucks It's like just save your fucking opinion You're literally just trashing another dude. It's like me going on Facebook. You're just going you know at Yannis pop it Start fucking Louis J. Gomez comedy fucking Poppilot Crog. And now I'm fucking critiquing his eye. Are you saying that you came up with a name like that?

And you're not gonna do it. That guy said a lot of nice things about me. But the point is, like, great review. I got a great review. And you know what? He's gonna deal with criticism from the New York Times and from the New Yorker and from all the so who gives a shit just fucking toughen up and get over it.

And then I guess I understand I'm sorry to cut you out but I just understand I get there being a thing when there's someone else who's like in this world. It's just a little bit weird like I've never had this experience before but I know friends of mine who have had like articles written on one of these comedy sites that are kind of shitty to them. And then like the guys just hanging out at the bar like a few weeks later and you're just like, oh fuck you dude. And like I get it. Cause it's like, what are you doing? Like I'm grinding. You're clearly hanging around this level of comedy because you kind of like. It's like when Matt Taiybe writes something about Goldman Sachs he doesn't go fucking hang out. You know what I mean? Yeah exactly. Exactly. Like what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what My fault, but it's almost like if he was going after some I mean you know

Sorry Rast going after a bank that had like fucking $300 in capital and you're like who cares Here's what I think should be done with the kid. When it comes to, yeah. What about you, dude? You just sounded like you were the fucking meat, and that's a thing. It's like a commitment.

It's what we should do. Think of downstairs in a basement. It's what we should do. When it comes to people who are big and famous, you can't control that it's going to come out in the way where it's like on the internet, because they're so high up. So that's how it's going to, for a kid like this, who started his career, I think I kind of agree with you now. Now that I'm thinking about it's like on the internet because they're so high up. So that's, I was gonna, for a kid like this who started his career, I think I kind of agree with you.

Now, now I'm thinking about it. Like, I don't know if the guy should write the blog and put it out there. Approach him. It should be something, or not, it should be something now that comedians know that some comedian has to approach this kid and be like, look dude, maybe you did it, you were starting out, you know, you can't fucking do it again.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone's watching. I wanna hear this. can't fucking do it again. Yeah, everyone's watching. I wanna hear this. I wanna hear this. It's kind of shitty that sometimes like, a lot of people have a shitty experience in Montreal, like nothing happens with there are a cluster of people who are like kind of like grabbed and kind of pushed through the system.

And if this kid is one of those who gets grabbed and pushed through with stolen material. But how stupid is Montreal not know about it? How how does industry allow that look at a guy and go They're not they're so interested for bits out of probably a couple hundred bits of the kids doing now He's that is not a conger You had a fucking mind 100 What is he got 18 hours of material?

He's probably got tons of bangers. Yeah, he needs another one He can borrow my tiger woods Fucking cock but it's it's true of like if that was not available the visor is always ready to go Somebody's stealing jokes on off on off on grizzly pair who give like the fun and who cares off on off on grizzly pair who give like the fun who cares but if there if you see them start to have success Because mancy was killing it. Well, here's a thing right this is what this kid should be done right they she he should This guy who writes this blog. I said dude. There's an opportunity to write a really interesting piece about joke Thievery on a smaller level up to the highest level what Just really fucking funny. I'm still laughing.

Oh, and it hit my making fun of me. I just let it out, y'all. I like to be referred to Ms. Banger's. If you want, you can borrow that time. I'm sorry. You fucking. I was dying. No, but I think he should write a piece and say,

there is, I know it'd be like, I didn't. And in the article right like I'm not gonna out this fucking kid cuz I don't want to ruin his career But you know this is happening even on the smallest level or that guy should get a living breathing woman and Go to dinner Like level common and fucking gives it that's a guy. No, we got any of this. But you know, he remembers up a good point, man. It's like the guy, the guy that these jokes helped him, you know, ascend.

Yeah. He did them on TV. So that's where I'm kind of torn too, because I'm like, you did the jokes on TV. On what? I put it on LL. I put a lot of it on the industry and the Montreal people watching. Yeah. It's really known.

Because really, really like, hey, I'm the head of comedy development. I'm like, what did you? She goes, I went to Yale with the guy son. No, with their team. And she's like, I'd never been to a comedy show. Yes, I would have literally be like, I really like Adam Sandler. Yeah, like, I'm not a comedy. Yeah, no, some of them would be like, I'm never going to post. Like, they're Montreal. Paul's definitely right that they're if someone who's should know.

They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. on the festival a little bit for putting them up, but I'm almost because I don't know like you're talking about the world. Yes, no, you're you're right. I agree with you completely. Yeah, but you think it's

opportunity to his peers like it must be a thing amongst them, right? Like I don't know. He's not from New York. If he was from New York, or LA, it would, it would, Well, Yana said is right though. Somebody should call him over without writing a blog and be like, do listen, I know you're, you're young and shit, but this can't, this isn't going to fly. Let's call him. Let's get his number on., I'll take a break right now. We'll get him on the second half of the show I don't know. We gotta get us not what is a good name for I'll tell you his name You got it on the air, but cool. I'm not gonna say on the air. I gotta get out of here in a minute Can you sign it to us?

I mean, I'd love to have a money show I got a look at it. I gotta get out of that. All right, all right, listen, I love you guys. I got a plug a couple things. Yes, guys, Lewis is now going to plug a few things. I'm gonna plug a few. Oh, no, wait, where are you going? He's got a rose master. Oh, I'm only really good when I'm shooting on you. So by the way, guys, I do host the rose masters every other two. Lewis, he's 15% of Dave Smith are leaving. I host the Roast Masters. Every other Tuesday night at the stand at NYC stand at NYC.com for tickets. Who's battling tonight?

A bunch of people. I don't have time. I gotta go. We'll fall. It's just big time, Jim. Check out my other podcasts. Legion of Skanks, Realized Podcasts. Both available on the gas digital network.

Can I get those on the sticher? Also, Dave, can I just fucking do my plug? I gotta go. Tim Dylan also has an amazing podcast called Tim Dylan is going to hell on this and that works as well. Tim Dillon. And then also check out my podcast, something that I want to check out my serious XM radio show, The Countdown with Michael Bisping, Every Thursday night, 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

And I will be headlining comics at Mohican Sun Sun August 26th and 27th so come out and have some fucking fun it's gonna be a good time man alright that's it. Alright thanks Lewis for coming by and everybody's gonna go see at the stand. Yeah. I mean if you're out there tonight go see him at the stand tonight. Get out of your house and go fuck it. See Lewis, host of Rose Master Show. Check this out. Fuss ball. Fuss ball. It's your passion. Who likes football? Anyone like football? Is it your passion? Yeah. Love it. Sure. Playing one hand touch

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Only at draftkings.com, that draftkings.com, eligibility restrictions may apply, see website for details. Is anyone sick of roast battles? Does anybody sick of fucking roast battles? Is of rose battles is that we sick of fucking rose battles is it can we say that and not get in trouble it's uh... why would you get in trouble no i you know i mean i mean it's like it's annoying that every this all

anyone talks about is that he said it's a little bit of people it's on facebook about comic movies i like my glorin's that but no it's just like i'm not i think it'll run i think like every time i'm not creating rose battles that's why i probably don't like them but i learned i just i don't know it's just like, I'm not for it. I think it'll run it. I think like every time. I'm not creating Rose Battles. That's why I probably don't like them by, so I learned. I just, I don't know, it's just something about everybody.

I feel like Rose Battles is like the, the modern like Texas Holden poker. Right. It's hot right now. Yeah. But fun. Yeah, I mean, you know, people, it is, it is. It'll go out in itself. I like, yeah.

I like people like what, you know, honestly, I really love watching my Lawrence win that thing. No, he's great. I love watching his stuff. I like people who are really good at it. I like people like what the art and all honestly, I really love to watching Mike Lawrence win that thing and I love watching his stuff. I like people who are really good at it. It does bother me. I've talked about this with Lewis before. It bothers me. There's a few people who roast regularly, who suck at it and just get people who are good at it to write them jokes.

Right. And it's like, you see these, this really bothers me. It's this thing where these shitty comics, and then you see them walk on stage with like this confidence of like, because they've never been on stage with like six awesome jokes to rattle off. And so they feel so great, but you're like, you literally they'll go give five great ones and one that sucks and you're like, oh, that one is the one they wrote themselves.

That's the one they wrote. Yeah, the other five or something else. It's just weird when you see two guys who don't know each other, roast each other. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. That's other. Yeah, that's that's who look like or that all started with the Comedy Central roast getting real popular because they were it wasn't like a panel of peers are just like a panel of

I love that. I remember Patrice said that to me before he did the one Charlie she did the Charlie she was great but the reason he did that one is because he really respected Charlie she and that's the only He was like on some conspiracy theory 911 was in an inside job Shit and so was Charlie she and that's why he always said except for that was a one that he would do because he said He said that point the point you honest was making armor Patrice said that where he was like dude the reason like the dean the the old dean roasts were amazing is because they were all like Successful great friends right we're fucking ribbing each other, but they loved each other right now You have this dynamic where it's some like old celebrity and young hungry comedians who are just trying like tear them apart to make a name off

That's why the Frank that one that's why the James Franco one was good because they were genuine Yes, yes friends and you could feel that you could feel they were going out that night Well, you know what's never about the ones in the city now it's like two two guys but you'll comedy here And it's just cruel. There's no like one guy's like, you're a broke open bike. You walk dogs, it's come live on a floor. And then the guy goes, you fucking live on a floor too. And it's like, this is just mean.

Everybody knows both of these people on stage live on the doors. Yeah, why? You know why they do? There's nothing redeeming about comedy club the selling tickets and the way they're doing it is they know a lot of experienced comedians don't want to waste like dude I got to be honest with you if I'm gonna write 20 jokes right being on my fucking new out. It's not gonna be you know Telling you know Ian bag from Canada goes, what am I gonna fucking yell at my friend for living in a one bedroom?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like it's true It's like If he's one of the one bedroom he's killing it by the way. Yeah, it's like yeah, but I mean I do I gotta say though I do like that Mike Lawrence won that because I remember I remember taking a east to Ralphie Matt. That was that was that was the most amazing battle I've ever seen about it. But he cared. He cared like I was in the back of the stand, tell them why I don't do it, why I don't

like it. And he was telling me why he loves it, why he's going to do it. And then he was even getting as far as to be like, and if I go against him, he thinks that this is coming. So I'm going to make him wait to the end. Like he cared that much. So he really wanted to win and he deserved to win and if somebody gives a fuck at that level Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I agree with Dave

It's like the stand has a bunch of no-name comedians Yeah, and then like all these like celebrity experience judges and these guys And it's like what are people gonna do come see you roast? Yeah, what are people gonna do pay? Philadelphia to see you roast like what what what's the end game the roast one like when when it's your friends like they roasted me at the creek here right right was the funnest night yeah we got hammered good time we shit all over each other but we all knew each other right so it was like it was more a party for us which is what those Dean right we did that we did that with big J we had a roast for him and we had same type of thing like it was like all

friends it was love and that was a lot of fun yeah but the other stuff to me I just don't I also agree with what Paul was saying where it's like when they'll I've been asked by a couple of the different Rose shows to do it and it is almost like as a comic you feel like It's almost like a weirdly like it's a lot to ask You know it's like you're almost used to this like balance of like oh can you pop by and do a few minutes? And it's like yeah, I have an act. I'll come do a few minutes for you. Or you do a set. It's like, okay, 75 bucks, four, 15 minutes for your coffee. But to just say, like, can you write 10 minutes

for this show is a lot. Dude, I was at South by Southwest, and they were like, hey, you know, do you want to get out of the show? And I was like, what? They were like, you want to roast with Mark Norman. And I was like, no, right? So I do the show. And then I see Mark come in.

And I guess he was doing it against like Jay Larson. And he's like, dude, he's like, what the fuck did I say? Yes, it is for because I was in my hotel and all day figuring stuff out. I don't even really know this guy's got like, it's very stressful. And it's like, you don't know if the joke's gonna work. You've never tried them before.

Well, you're acting, you can, you can, you can do that. And you don't know the first. That's the thing. You don't know the guy. That's the fucking thing. They reach people research each other. Well, you know what the crowd, when you don't know the guys just mean, when you know the guys just mean when you know this like the love

And the crowd feels that the same way a crowd feels if a comedian's comfortable They feel like this guy love somebody a friend of mine. I love this another comic product of a good point It's decontextualized. It's comedy for people that don't need to know anything about anything like to like no matter How smart your act is how good your act is? Thank you very much appreciate you know yeah I mean but you're a good example come on just appreciate that you know nice to hear one but you talk about religion you talk about shit like you need to know something to get a joke something but in a roast battle you can walk in knowing nothing about

anything no frame of reference you don't have to be engaged at all and you could just sit there and go that fact guys fat and fat and it's like, oh I get it. The jokes are gonna run out too. Yeah, dad left just like when your dad left and it's like, all right, let's also be real. I mean roasting in general. It's usually what works with roast writing is kind of dumb dad. So it's not as if you know it's fun but it's like a glorified yo mama contest at the end of the day. It's not 100% like really know, it's fun, but it's like a glorified yo mama contest at the end of the day. It's not 100%. Like, really high level standup

is a much more impressive, much more difficult thing to do. Is Cleveland, are they starting to do this? Is Cleveland? Well, yeah, the comedy, Jason, people are coming in. Like a bunch of like newer. It depends on which a Jason person we're talking about. They're coming in, you know. Yeah, just a bunch of newer people.

They ask me to do what others do. I got a thomper. I got his voice already. Yeah, just a bunch of newer people. There's me, but I'm just, I'm not a thomps. I got his face already. Yeah, I got his voice already. They have something in New York called Open Mike Fight Club, which is insane, and it's Open Mike Comedians. One guy goes in dressed like a clan guy and got his ass kicked.

Oh, yeah. Like this is, what did they do though? What did they do? One guy got up. Yeah. One guy got up and pushed him in the face. What's that guy got up? Scope will go to these mics. Yeah. I guy got up and push them in the face. Yeah, I got a scope.

I'll go see these mics. Yeah, I don't really know, but there's a scope. No, there's a post new faces. Post new fit. Listen, I got a lot of stuff. That's going to be a walk at home tonight. Yeah, it's the velvet deal with the animal planet. The, I'll tell you right now, though, it's fucking, it's crazy.

This is how crazy this guy shows up at a clan Alpha and gets his and gets punched in a face, which you would imagine would happen. Yeah, like that's It's like Full of people who know each other so it's like you get up in a clan outfit. That's kind of me Another for it to have been another comic Yeah, that's the thing that just makes it that pushes me off It's like yeah, it's like that dude was like bragging online about it Well, you also shouldn't do anything. You're not willing to get beat up over after the show

That's always my opinion on how to do and there is a flip side to this I guess so dude if you want to be the guy It just seems a little convenient to me that he picked on some tiny little white dude who didn't want to fight Wait a minute. This is a joke. There's lots of people who say racist shit in their act all the time. Go fight someone who wants to fucking fight back. No, the fact that it's another comedians bullshit. I agree, I agree. But that is the friction.

But the flip side to this roasting is if you're a three, four year comic, and you want to get in front of the book or at the stand. If you want to get in front of the page, and then you're like, they're not putting me up here on a regular set. So let me go shit on some people and show my chops at that. And then I'll get on their side

So you got to look at it and here's the fucked up thing is that you're not just getting an opportunity to go get up in front of Patrick Like the book or at the stand like a oh here go do five minutes of your standup You're getting on in this environment where I've seen people go when it goes bad It can go really bad and then you're literally up there. You're not gonna be up there You're gonna bomb then you're gonna have like Mike Lawrence Dan Soder and be up there. You're going to bomb. Then you're going to have like, Mike Lawrence, Dan Soder and Big J. It's hair you apart. Rip you apart.

Patrick's going to watch you get, but you know, I've seen people bomb and Jeff Ross came in and watch. Let me tell you something. If you're a three year comic and you're trying to make it in this scene, to have Big J. Mike Lawrence, Jeff Ross, and Patrick all watch you eat a dick. It's tough.

It's not good for you. Let me tell you what you want. I did it. I did it. San Germain Rose. I bombed horribly in front of Fox a comedy central Patrick and it sucked but after that it was like you do need those gut punches and comedy. Sure. I'm saying you don't want to fucking bomb in front of the mountain. I still keep a match. You all go down and flames and it's like you need that on TV though, too, right? Yeah. Listen, that that that

unwrapped that unwrapped, the unwrapped, the unwrapped new faces show is like, the half that crowd is like industry. Yeah, it's not a great crowd. There's so many industry guys there, like looking, so they're not laughers, you know, I remember I did it. Well, I was, you were on the unwrapped show then. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was I did it Well, I was when you were on the unrep show then no no no rep show. Yeah, all right

I was seeing I was on the rep show too, so I just I don't know what the fuck I think it's funny They had to make the unrep show because everyone who's doing new faces was already on TV and check Yeah, I just yeah, I mean you're doing five minutes Right, but he said they did five it's six six,? Here's the thing, it's five. It's six. Six. But here's my thing, listen, the comedy's a weird place now because people are more excited about Rose Battling, that naked comedy shows, that fucking underwater comedy, on acid, comedy, get fucked and do comedy. Like, jerk off one.

Like the alternative show now was just getting on stage and you got a jerk off during a set. But at the club, you got to collect the idea. Right, come on the fucking floor the most alternative show is just getting on stage and the other water was my favorite because the the improv you had me at comedy underwater the improv lab in LA started to have all these weird like niches shows and like their strongest show with the regular crowd as comedian you should know which is just a straight stand-up show

At this point you have to picture as a theme. Yeah, I got this crazy theme. We booked funny comics, right? They all do really listen. We're gonna throw shit at him everybody. It's a I love the I love the creek But I walk in a creek sometimes and I walk in and it's a guy dressed like an old Borsh belt guy and like someone's playing a piano And like somebody else is dancing around and there's street people in the audience. I go, what the fuck is going on? But you know what that is, Jim?

That's all kind of reinvent the wheel. That goes away. Yeah. Rosbales, I did. I said, I've said no to every theme show that they asked me to do the naked one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did one with where you used to get.

Remember the one we have to get high and then get on stage. And I run. And like, I was up there and you used to get. Remember the one we had to get high and then get on stage? And I run. And like, I was up there and I was so high. And I'm like, why am I doing this? What's the, what's the point? Why are we doing this? Yeah.

And so it's sort of anti-comedy. It's like, let's go fucking watch a comedian be high. It's like, dude, I don't want to be one. I was comedy when I'm high. I have more. So why are people in this room? Some people can do it. For me, I don't smoke weed

Yeah, but you don't need a steam show for that. Yeah, I just smoked the blunt like an hour before I filmed my comedy central special Yeah, yeah, it's just weird like to seem I like to have through that Nice he was sitting on it the whole he was like No, that I got a half coming out I'm not gonna let him know that I got a half coming out. When is that coming out of August 20th? He's ready. He's ready with the date. Oh, he's ready.

There man. Very good. No, that's just ch... He's a chomerrion. And that's by the way. That's great. The live podcast, maybe the new thing. That might be the new thing.

People are into it. People like live podcast. I think just dope podcast is like... Who said that? Like Nate was saying it and I remember when I did Anything that you do in a podcast now on a dope one your numbers go more than well Dave. Dave did Joe Rogan's you got a big bump Yeah, you said you did Rogan's and it was like more Twitter followers than it's pretty it's pretty amazing man It's it's more I mean it's I don't know what there's definitely still some like

Some like prestige that goes along with getting like a tonight show or a Conan or something like that But dude doing a podcast especially when it's something like targeted toward kind of what I do when the audience He has his into that yet dude. I like I mean I got a huge bump on Twitter my podcast all that You get a lot of followers. I mean I'm talking like I got like probably Because it's also easier for people to like if you missed the to a tonight show airing like maybe you'll watch it online the next day or maybe you'll forget about it. You also see you didn't see six minutes of me telling jokes.

You was three hours of an in-depth conversation. And it's just one of you. I'm going to be doing your five. You've been doing it for as you've had a long time. This December six years, man. Well, I've made you start doing it versus you fact long time this this December six years man Well, what made you start doing that because you were like going on the road with bar I know and stuff and then you started doing that Podcast like what was that was that just like the next thing for you?

I just was like fuck it. Let me try it and I started to do People love your show. That's one of the ones I hear no when I go when I go on the road Everybody's like you got to get leagian the skanks on there, but no, I just well. That's a ginormous platform No, it was just something that I actually got a boy sometimes don't know of a way to remember our member you were talking outside the stand you said it was rough you had to learn how to do it. It took me to like 45 episodes I've done that just did 269. She's and it took me about in my 40s

to be like, I have a show now, like I get it. I have the segments. I know how to do it. It flows, you know, getting audience involved. And then all of a sudden, you tag team with other shows. Right. Yeah, that's how you do it.

Yeah. You know, but yeah. I remember Yannis was doing this stuff like years ago. It was a, you were podcasting, number one. I mean, but you were doing the podcast, which we all really like kind of thought was a cool thing And then when you were doing with the characters and the videos, I remember when Janus was doing shows and getting and you were Just the one getting your own audience

No, whatever you do the whole thing No, I fucking Nate always reminds me of that we were doing a podcast in oh eight or nine Wow, and we didn't do it right man. We weren't consistent with it. We didn't, you know. Yeah. And it was mostly my fault. I just didn't think that they were going to. You didn't know what was going to happen.

Dude, I didn't believe it at all. I give Lewis a lot of credit, dude. I thought it was so stupid to start doing the podcasting stuff. Bobby really believed in it. And Lewis believed in it and stuff. And literally, I've been doing comedy like a little over 10 years now is the only success that I've had is all built off podcast shit. It's off skanks getting Rogan getting like my podcast doing

good like others. I've got nothing. I mean I did the festival stupid just for labs festival but that didn't do much for me. I've gotten like nothing. You get no now but now we actually have fans that come out and see you and want to see your growth and the key to all this is that in comedy especially now where there's so many outlets so many comedians the key is having your own fan base that's what it comes on that's what it is that's what you have a

consistent with the show yeah have you know i have it it's um... you know it's not huge it's yeah but it's there it's a big i saw people this was usually like snake your own carolines to see you and these were guys from long time yeah yeah yeah you know, so it's like that's you know You got and you got to do the podcast consistently on the time like a state I think it's gonna come out on Wednesday night or Thursday Have it come out in that time all the time because those people in their cubicles are driving that long drive to work

They that's when they count on it. I think it's part of A comedian's career now. I think you have to have a comedian with out of office. I mean, it's making a big mistake. Back in the day when they're like, okay, what's your TV sitcom? What's this? It's like the thing you have to have right now. I have to have either a podcast or some sort of online. Like if you have a YouTube channel,

it's sort of a net. That's how you keep talking to these people. You know, it's like such a, I like it something like a, like, like, Gary Veter, right? Who's, or like Sam Morel did this year, Gary did last year, America's got talent and I had like a big run on that. So it's like, okay, right? Who's, or like Sam Morel did this year, Gary did last year, America's Got Talent, and I had like a big run on that.

So it's like, okay, all of a sudden, he's launched into this big, big show, one of the biggest shows in America, and he's like, on there all the time. He's gone. But now he's the guy from last season's America's Got Talent. Next year, he's two seasons ago. I mean, that's like, if you don't have something

where you're like, you're talking, when you get a new fan, if they become a fan of your podcast, now they're hearing from you like every week or a few times a week or whatever it is. It's just, you've been in a fan-bath. And here's the best part, they can't take it from you. You can't be fired from your podcast.

It's always yours. The people have to fucking hear you if they want to. So you get banned from Twitter and iTunes until you do raping or retargeting. You guys got banned from iTunes? No, no, no. No, but people have been before but truthfully from what I understand most of the time What people have been kicked off YouTube and iTunes it's literally stuff where they're going at like don't even know I'm very anti-PC, but if you're tweeting like like die nigger at black people

I don't really care if you get kicked off Okay, yeah kick that guy off. That's fine I also like if you have a job and you're employed and you tweet that shit You can't blame the people for firing you if you know, it's like I don't believe it right There's something like I completely believe in free speech But I don't believe in the idea that there's like no repercussions Yeah, right Yeah, if you if you put something out there if you're like calling some 15 year old a faggot or something like that Yeah, then they want to be like, oh, this is by the way

Dan who works down it. Yeah, sure. Because then, well, then it just, it's the same thing. It kind of defines edgy the way that the PC police are kind of defined comedy out of existence. Yeah. If you say, I can say anything all the time, then you define edgy out of people that are indeed whose life is defined by being anti PC are insane too. say anything all the time. No, then you define. You define. And you define it. And you define it.

And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it.

And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it.

And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define it. And you define condemn that. To be bad. And they don't want you to be able to do it. It's amazing how much they end up mirroring each other.

Right, so similar. So it's all a terrorist. It pisses everybody off, but I'd say social justice warriors and Trump supporters are so similar. Yeah, it's shocking how similar they are. Like if you get one, first off, they get butt hurt so easily. I mean, there's one, you're one comment

that they don't like away from their like, what's it do from South Park? The trade parker was a nice don. Yeah, he said Matt Stone and trade parker said the far left and the far right is the same person. Literally, you can't tell him about it. I don't listen. They don't change. Because they can't never.

They won't even watch. They think both sides are right. They won't even watch. They never go, oh, that was a good point. You never go like, I have a good point. What's the point? You said it's religious. It's all like, it's like these tenants that you worship.

Yeah, it changes. And it's not a matter of like, oh, I actually came to this conclusion. It's just like, this is my thing. This is my whole. Ultimately, the great thing about being a comedian though, is I think past all this shit, if you're consistently funny, it's the closest thing to sports. It's not as pure as sports. But it is the closest thing, because you may get passed up on something now or this or that. But ultimately, if you keep going, people will recognize that you're on the body.

When you're skills evolved, people will go. When it gets fun. I deny it. When it gets fun, I deny it was always been hard. And you take a chance on doing something on your own. Like you said, you've been doing your podcast six years. Yeah. No one made you know what I asked you to do that show. And you take a chance on doing something on your own like you said you've been doing your podcast six years

Yeah, no one no one made you no one asked you to do that shit I'm gonna do it. He was court order First like no actually I was court order I was drunk. I hit some kids comedy this scene for as much as we bitch about the scene And there's a lot of shit in the industry that I don't I don't love but I mean you look at other games like like music It is dude. There are some Reddably talented musicians. I mean like fucking incredibly talented who have nothing so hard nothing It's it's very rare that you'd show me someone who's been doing comedy 15 20 years who's incredibly talented who has nothing

They almost always have at least something maybe sometimes like they should have a little bit more than they do But it's pretty much always like they're in the game. They're working, commenting. They're making a living office. Which is a unbelievable thing. That's the goal. When you think about it, if you're only a skull book can tell you that right now, how great.

That would feel. Exactly. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if you didn't have to see a garbage truck ever again? I would fucking pray every day. Sm know, smell of garbage is money though. Yeah, and that's the most queen's taping ever. It's not a garbage is mine. Yeah, that should be when you go to Queens. That's money. Why you don't work? Is that what you do? I used to work in the back of a truck by working in the I work for a company. Yeah. Oh, she's front-off. When did you? When did

you get just comedy? When did you get to the point where it was just comedy? When I got rid of all these comedy adjacent people in my life. First you've been doing just comedy for a long time. No, 2007, 2007, days and I made the jump. I was broke, but I made the jump. Probably not working like six or seven, oh, six oh seven. Okay, I'm new. I'm six months. Yeah, six months. I love it. I like it a lot, but it's the last six months of a lot of hard work. hard work And I'm like I was a lot of like trying to figure out like you know what to fucking what to do like you did it right Man you waited a little bit. I waited and I went up there and smash yeah I waited but now it's also like well like perspective and you had a voice yeah But I also now got to figure out like how do you organize it day and

Get up and ride and do you have because you're used to like having to go to work. I fucking, you know what I mean? You're gonna blossom because you have that time to think about. I go to the big old place, the bakery I spent an hour in there. And we go for walks in a story. We go for walks. It's like we live in the life of an old people. Well, what's his name? But you have to, you have to decompress so your brain can come. I think there's something about that that's a big advantage. I, my advice usually, and I don't know, maybe this is just me pushing myself on others,

but I'm always like, if you really want to do comedy, I think get out of the day job as soon as you can, even if it's premature, quit, go ahead. There's something about being a full-time comic that just puts you in a mentality that's different. That when you, when you're working and you have to be this phony, you really have intensely phony a job makeshift.

You know, all that kind of like, hey, sir, how can I help? Like, that's bullshit. That is not you as a person. It's what I think it is. And then you have to do that. So it's nice to just be a comic and live in the like, what is my take on this?

Sure, but I think it is good. Listen, I think it is good to get beaten up a little bit. And I think it's a kid. Sure. Never had a day job and it came right from a liberal arts college, Mommy, Daddy's money. Oh, no, I agree. I think you should work at some point. I was like, and you got to eat. I mean, you got to, you got to, right, the balance of the two, I struggle with it for years. Like I had a day job. You got to eat. You got to survive. You got a money. Yeah. You were a grief counselor for 9 11.

I was sick. Let to just stand there day job Crazy To crazy job. It wasn't a grief counselor. We were case workers, right doing disaster relief So that's big shit. We brought like people who lost fans. I honestly had a thing called modern comedian Yeah, honest is one of the only modern comedians. It's really good because there's a lot of shit in it It's like because it's like a mini documentary with like this crazy music But he'll be like I got shot I And then like and then it cuts the derose like I'm working out a new bit

So because like this I've done 15 open mics this week in y'all know this is like yeah the towers fell and I want to go Talk to the people. I was going to say cheese. By the way, it was an awkward morning because the bullet just came out of my ass. By the way, still one of the most fascinating things to me is the Steve Rennazese thing. Yeah, so fascinating. Crazy. What a, because it's not just making up a lot of it.

Now what's fascinating, what is the thing to you that gets you about? Dad, he did it and that he stuck to it. And that is so verifiable. That's what's crazy about it. That you would make up, well, I forget the exact details, but he was like, yeah, I worked for Merrill Lynch and Building Two or something like that.

And I hope you go like, wait a minute. Wait, what? That's like a thing to say. There was no Merrill Lynch, and either of the buildings, you never worked for Merrill. Like, it was like, all these things, there's a paper trail. I think he's been good to me, and like, he's so cool. He's like a friend of mine when I said,

Paul, Paul's like, he's a man. He's not gonna get some pastries I mean it's just it's a tough one because it's a big lie I think it just it think it just build the blood I mean there's no way he's not good He kept talking about it though Shut the fuck up That's what I'm saying

That's the point is like dude He when you go first of all If you for fun like for comedians It's not a lot that makes us laugh Yeah You know we got to see like a puppy killed or something Yeah Yeah It's something good for a dentist If you for fun like for comedians is not a lot that makes us laugh. Yeah, you know We got to see like a puppy killed or something good Hope on you gave me a visual

Like going back and listening to his Marin is fucking hilarious knowing right now She did a home episode Details about details about the town it's on another level because you you have the knowledge that the whole story is but he's like yeah smoke was over here we're looking for a fire you know he's like the whole story in detail how he got what do you think hat what should happen to a guy like that that's a so see open exactly what happened exactly what happened him just

bomb everyone yeah you should have to bomb a roast battle. That should be here. Oh, was it bad? It was bad. Yeah, it was bad. He tried to get out of a rage, joke out. He couldn't even do it. That was really bad.

By the way, I think there were people who reacted. Or how the great line he goes from one to 10, I give that a ground zero. That was great line. People got, when the live first came out, there are some of these people who are like, their reaction was almost like, you know know he should be hung and you're almost like alright you didn't hurt anybody it's just a very strange thing to

make up and it's very well made up lies but that's a really I love why I love buyers but you can't get around the fact that it's offensive to the people who lost nothing is funnier than somebody lying in your face when you know it's a lie. I think buying is hilarious. I love it. It's my favorite day. It's fucking hilarious. You'll find joy in it. It's so far into like me. I can't, I just can't, I can't live like that. But the fact that somebody could just, yeah, tell your story.

It's happening. It's fucking hilarious. It's fucking hilarious. I think that- So Steve comes in. We call it 9-11 Steve. But you know what it is man? I do think it's kind of indicative of the times a little bit. You see that comedy, we're talking about all these theme comedy and diversity. Comedy and being funny has become like the third Yeah, the third most important thing as far as the industries Consumbing funny is not number one at all industry looks at yours. Yeah, I'll always the biggest one No, what the the biggest thing is like they look at you and they are they time it's money Okay, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Do you represent a coveted demographic? Do you mirror a coveted, are you young? Are you, were trying to get this growing Latino?

I mean, I work for a network that its whole business model was trying to capitalize on the dollars of the growing boom, first second generation, first and second generation, Latin Americans, a whole fucking network. You're talking about Disney and Univision put millions, hundreds of millions of dollars into the network. First and second generation rate-

To try to capitalize. So it's like things now are kind of gauged that like is he Latin? Is he a woman, can he speak to the woman demographic? Yeah, he is. It's like things like that. So with Steve Renizici, it's like he had this story that made him unique and he can use it.

And also it's like you said, everyone loves kind of a victim story. So if there's ever thing like I lived through it or I we love to celebrate someone's tough day. It's not just a white guy. He's a white guy that fucking sprinted out of tower two. I mean I never I'll be honest I wish I kind of knew earlier. I may like I wish I because like I didn't talk about getting shot till I did that modern comedian. Yeah. I didn't talk about getting shot till I did that modern comedian

Yeah, I didn't talk about it on stage ever until he wanted to do it on that I never talked about 9 11 just second I know Coulda fucking or just I said I forgot y'all has had gotten shot and I said because and I sent a clip I was on Fox Mrs. Reddye and I thought and I forgot what I even said on the thing I thought oh y'all should be excited because I got a stupid TV thing Because he put me on a show like years ago and I forgot it was be defending gun ownership and the whole mind Was like yeah, fuck these people I would should have a gun. I said the Tiana So I'm like isn't this hilarious and he writes back. He's like not really no

Yeah, and I'm like oh Yeah, I think he just sets on like that. And he remembers it. I'm like, no, I think he did. He's fucking resented in years. He resented in years. He was easy. I said, listen, nobody said I said fucking I was like, he's in this hilarious.

Oh, because it was the Daily Show. The Daily Show used a clip of me saying something about guns, like Obama, not crying about certain things. And Obama, not caring about gunfire. And I said to the guy, and he just kind of wrote back. Guns and Obama not crying about certain things and Obama not can't but come on And I said to the guy and he honest kind of wrote back. He was just like yeah great Do you get in TV time? But like you know he's like he said something about guns He's like I know the Americans don't want the toys of death taken away or something like that like we can I think you were making fun of Obama for crying right yeah, yeah, which I thought was being a pus about that whole sandy hook that's right let me say this about the

people who are pro-gun they have this fucking like they have that thing where they don't listen to your argument they just think it's you're against guns right that's not what gun controls about right like yeah but that's on both sides dude that's that's gun there's a lot of gun control people. I know who are like that I'm sure there is and you correct like the thing they said and then they repeat that same thing to I'm sure there is but it's like the point is is like is it's about Regulating it's about regulating something that can cause mass destruction quickly that has done that you know That's what it that's what it's about. That's what it is.

And it's like everyone always shouts that fucking Chicago example, which is my favorite. Because nobody ever goes in adept about what that Chicago, because the Chicago example is actually the best example for gun control universal. Because the reason why there's so many guns on the street in Chicago is because the laws are so lax in Indiana and neighboring Fuckin' yeah, where they go to gun shows and buy them and sell them

So if it doesn't that make the argument more or less, I don't want to get too dragged Doesn't make the argument that basically then they'll still come in for Mexico Mexico is essentially gonna be our unregulated now with that wall That's not Hey, that's right It's a good point of now We're gonna have to have a tape of policy. America runs around selling guns to other countries.

I think to just say the problem in Chicago is that there's lack of laws in Indiana. That's not true. You don't see any of this violent crime happening. Look, I was in Chicago a couple of weeks ago. Even when you go to Chicago, the violence is still over there. It's not like you go to Chicago and the violence is right here. It's this little tiny port of the south side of Chicago, and that's where all these gun deaths are happening.

And when you go to the fucking north side or fucking West Chicago, it's nice, and nobody's dying there. There's a lot of problems going on. A lot of the social issues, prohibitions of drugs, gang related problems. There's a ton of shit going on, but the is these same-lacks gun laws that you're complaining about exist for all these other cultures where the people aren't killing themselves look I say the thing to look at is repeal of prohibition do we have a crazy gang violence murder problem in this country when we had prohibition we repealed it

it all went away legalized drugs you get rid of it 70 80 percent of this fucking gang violence go away well that's true and there's cultural elements to it and everything like that But a ban on assault weapons and a background. That's not gonna do a Chicago did Nobody dies in Chicago of fucking AR 15s. No, it's all handguns out there But they do die because the guns get on the street in poor neighborhoods where there's a lot of crime and drug violence So illegally though, there's already laws against that no other fucking people have guns legally yeah but it is a poor neighborhood and that's why that's why the guns are so high in demand over there the guns aren't high in demand in uh... in uh... the suburbs of chicago because it's a safe neighborhood the police protect that neighborhood

well i mean looking texas that it's fairly safe and there's high demand for guns people on i it. I don't think it's just cut and dry. Is there anything I think, I think, total, if you enforce the gun laws and I don't think, and it's also listen. When you've done guy 10 to your own guns? I don't know, guns. I should. Somebody looks like me and sounds like this shouldn't. But I have a red flag. I'm a walking red flag.

I'm like, Trump's got ideas. They're like, all right, thanks for coming. But no, here's the deal. I think that if you look at it and you go, but there's also people and I'm a guy like you I agree with a lot of it. We use it, but when somebody goes, hey, how about a background check for three days at a gun show or online and somebody goes, no, That takes away my rights. Most gun owners support Most gun owners support background checks. And a good, a good, I don't understand how you're supporting a assault weapons ban. I don't understand.

That's what I'm for. That's a universal background check. Because if you're paranoid about the government, you think that the government's gonna put you on a list. Right. And when you go to overthrow, because it's always worse, Kacenera, it's always worse.

Right. There will always be gun violence. There will, there will, yet people who are motivated enough will get fucking guns illegally, you know? But it's like, Oh, look, I mean, you see what's happening in Nissan. I mean, people will take up a fucking truck and throw it out of people.

It'll happen. You see it in the Boston bombings, and it'll make part of the dream. But that's the same as the example. But it does seem to me that those are the same people who you make the argument for banning AR-15s against. I mean, look, banning these AR-15s, the truth is that most of the time, you're talking about these mass shootings, they're people who pass background checks, who plot this

out for a long time. Those people are the governments. The government is using to do that. You know, it's all kind of things. No, I think Patsy, whatever it is. You got to get into the specifics of each person who did it. I think there's a lot of good evidence that a lot of those kids who got those guns should not have been able to get those guns Of course not

Like three time yeah, but you gotta think something okay I The kid in Arizona. Is this Sunday dinner? The kid in Arizona had no fucking eyebrows. I do, I do more. I do more. He does, he does. He's a great, overzy.

He's got no free. But I'm afraid to do it. It's not that great. It's fucking fantastic. It's not that great. Come on. Go ahead, do it. It's not that great.

Come on. You know, it's perfect. I got a hair. You know who did a good one the other night was Dan Soder. Let me tell you what, I've been doing a hair. You know who did a good one the other night was Dan Soder. Let me tell you right I've been doing a podcast since 1994 I did a podcast that is a good one. That is a good one. I had one listener. I know it was me Mother night open for Bill Burke. There were one billion big

Stadium and there were animals animals came to watch us see you and became different do I whisper that is good no because every time I talk to Paul he's standing outside to stand he's smoking a cigar

and he's blowing smoke when you're doing what you're doing he says nobody gives me good advice it will be outside to stand he's smoking a cigar and he's always blowing air and he's like

I like you you don't you don't have a thing you don't go on with a superman Mail I don't know does that kid really have That's more like it on stage voice It's kind of like an essence thing I sometimes I tell the audience because sometimes I do the perfect job They don't laugh at it. I say hey fuck you That's a whole big

That's the whole thing. That's great. That's great. Dan Soder did a good one too. Soder's great. Bobby's is terrible. Bobby just said dad, you know, he said he got himself. Bobby does him in a higher voice. He had a higher voice.

Yeah, what the fuck is that? That's you, dude. I think it's four waters. How about that? Both of you are killing it. Yeah. No time. Yeah, this AC is not as good as you.

It was funny when Lewis told me, you know, book me for this and whatever. He was like, all right, you, Tim, a dave, or all going to me. Just please, no politics. So dude, we had to do one. We had to do one. I'll sit down with you, but look it. Don't make my head hurt.

The fuckin' bring a book shit. I'm just upping a book, fake shit. I just thought, look, I believe in freedom and Janice's economy. But we can agree to this, really. I said, I said the honest, and then I just looked up the message and I actually wrote to Janice. Yeah, what is it? This is exactly what happened. I sent him the thing and then I said, which was funny.

This is what I write. So I go, I go, hey, you may find this funny. He's like, good to see you on TV. I wouldn't use funny as what I find it. And he he goes I didn't cry after any of these shootings and nobody cares He goes I really this is he's been sarcastic because I really do think it's the most important thing to critique however Daddy cried that is and then oh, I got fucking Yeah, he's like this city goes and I and I was I felt bad and I was like I thought you know, it's cool Then he writes that so he's like yeah, he's like he can't pick away our favorite toy

We're grown adults if you want to get murdered by them. That's her fucking business. So this is what I wrote I wrote well, I know you've been shot. I can't really win this argument But I'm glad you didn't die and I enjoyed bar four immensely great shot That was funny. Yeah, that was good. You know, I'm funny We were both being sarcastic. We were being funny. Yeah, but you went a little I went a little bit about that Yeah, I got to admit that was a little uncalled for no, but listen you have been shot. I have no right to fucking You know what I mean? I've not been shot Well, what's the cause? We'll get shot. What's the closest feeling to being shot like you had since then or before that?

You just you know like it is such a help lit like you know, it's so unfair like you can't It's so daunting when someone points a gun at you You you're your your help look Here's the thing about the guns. It does depend who owns the gun You know what I mean the gun itself the wider the better is not the problem assault weapons and like sniper rifles Those aren't defense weapon, you know, you know, it's a fucking assault rifle It's a weapon of war the more people to have that then what's the difference between a civilian Location and a battleground if everyone's walking around open carry with fucking, you know, it's about it's about putting you know

Just being sort of reasonable and understanding that this is a dangerous thing like like you know like prescription drugs are regulated Things like that and you say old people will always get oxy. Yeah, but it's not about Stopping people from it's kind of trying to curtail the problem as much as you can. Otherwise, what's the point of any loss? Right. I mean, but it's a point. No, I'm always gonna. Yeah. People are always gonna shoot. It's gonna. I think you have it. I think people say, are they gonna run over you with a truck? Yeah, but it's gonna happen. And it's weird. You can't ban trucks, but here's the difference between trucks and guns. Trucks. You can. Never registration. Oh, you have to do all that shit. That's one point point But the more point is like trucks have a function in society other than killing people you can't ban truck You can't ban knives because what the fuck you gonna slice your chicken with

Crazy people are gonna do crazy shit, but what you can't do with a knife easily You can still do it is like kill 20 kids and fucking a couple of guns But guns also serve other purposes for protection, hunting, and those are great. And I'm for that, dude. I'm not anti-gun. So there are lots of like, and in fact, there's lots of data on this

that you can look up, but guns actually do prevent data. The guns do prevent a tremendous amount of crime. The thing is you can't measure it as easily as you can. The gun deaths. But guns prevent a lot of crime. You can go look at, there's this one department of justice stats. And that's great. But you see, that's as easily as you can, the gun deaths, but guns prevent a lot of crime. You can go look at there's this one department of justice stat.

That's great. But you see that's not my argument. Right, right. You see that the people always against what I'm saying always know I'm responding directly to what you were saying. When you're saying there's not these other uses for it, like a car has other uses, I'm saying there are positive uses.

No killing people. Stop it killing someone. No, but it's not just killing someone. Say someone like a saying having armed security at a venue might actually deescalate any violence that would have happened. So this is the thing that gun control advocates don't really wrap up. But it only deescalates because other people have guns. So it's like you get a gun.

But the fact that some other would be guy with a gun sees they have armed security and goes, fuck, not gonna shoot anybody up tonight. Not gonna start a fist fight. Not gonna pull my Dice Podcast part two You know what my head's hurting I'll say that right now

Where is he now? We were young Lewis might have been right? Share gun I have a lot of land and I got big I got deer and I got deer and I got sometimes just like rabbit fucking coyotes Right so I wanted something but my wife was like I'm in coyotes. There was one yeah everywhere man, okay, so my wife was like now wife was like you got kids your sons into action movies Right, I wanted to get a dog and I you know, he's not a guard dog So the whole thing is what you got one good. That's what my bid. I should have got a gun. He's um He's a rescue is an island dog from Aruba. Okay, and he's awesome, but he's just he's a wild like an island look from Aruba He and he's awesome, but he's just, he's a wild like an island dog from Aruba. He's just fucking hanging out.

He's smoking hot. I'm a buzzer now. I would have a gun. Yeah, I would. Sure. If I lived in a country, I would have a fucking gun. Yeah. Yeah.

I grew up with it. I grew up like around guns. I saw guns and it was responsive. I would have known. One of my favorite jokes you have is like, I forget the first part of it, the second part of it is like, you walk down a street, push, you can't even, you can punch three o'clock in the morning, you're like, oh, Trump's got some good points.

You know, it depends on what your experience is like that day. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That fucking day, absolutely. We're all still interested pieces. At the end of the day, you got to try to keep the goal is, and I think what you're saying is trying to keep guns away from unstable, yeah, mentally unstable, mentally unstable people should not be able to go get everyone

in Greece. No, I agree, I agree, but it's also like it should be like how we're in that we are safer than humans have ever been in history like violent crime is at a 30 year low. And there's it's like they show you all this crazy shit on the news, right? But we're actually just the most Pacific safest generation ever. But it's never been a safer But we do have the most like mass shootings well give Europe a chance to catch And I catch not doing everything we do a lot of roast battles

We have an outbreak of roast battles happening. Nobody is safe I'm the singer You know you gotta get a gun. No, You know, you're going to get a gun, Tim? No, I don't think I'm going to get a gun. Maybe the sour cream gun, a taco belt. You see that? You see in that gun where they shoot sour cream on a chalupa? I think it just sprays.

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I'm not a gun, dude. It has never wanted. I don't care. You imagine if everyone was armed and you see it, you're not on the trial. No, it'd be ridiculous. Dude, a fucking simple fight will turn into a...

To defend like a Quentin Tarantino movie, right? I agree with you. Look, at the end of the day, like, I'm a second amendment guy, but I'm a Northe... I'm a New York Jew. I've never owned a gun in my life. I can't really wrap my head around how a people in Texas have the gun ownership rate they have.

That's your culture. But that's the thing is that it's what they do. It's what different culture. And I'm just very humble when I go out of that. That's the thing about America. Because the truth is, lots of different cultures live with guns all over the place. And there isn't violence. There's people who are ashamed. There's people who are ashamed.

And there isn't violence. There's people who are ashamed. There's people who are ashamed. It's a hundred reasons. You know what I mean? There's people who are right. There are other factors. There's, look, there's other factors involved in it. it right but when you look at some of the stuff like open carrier salt

rifles and a lack of gun gun show loop holes where you could just go in and fucking buy whatever nobody asks any questions and things like that and how they're different by state-to-state it's not hard to see how you could just the the the flow of guns no I'm with you. What about the dude on the couch? What do you think about guns? What are you giving them, Mike? This guy's me sitting here the whole time. This is Doug.

Yeah, Doug. We never introduced him. Doug looks like every mass shooter for the last five years. He's the guy that stole the jokes on Newfoundland. Yeah, he's the guy stole the jokes. So I feel like we should give Doug a chance to say something. It looks like Nick Cody. Doesn't he need a little bit?

Not really. All right. Not an Australian either. Doesn't he a little bit? Not really. All right. Not Australian either. Yeah. No, I'm just a fan. This is the second time I've sat in. Oh, cool. It's awesome.

Thank you for having me. Piotr, you just here to look at Lauren. Yeah, right. I hear this couple of comments. Got a gun, don't you? You got a gun? Yeah, I have a couple. He's like one of my pants.

Hey! I like to see your bomb of try to take it. What kind of guns you got? You have any guns, Ramon? my pants. Hey! I'd like to see your bum try to take it. What kind of guns you got? You have any guns remote? Nah man, I got weed. That's good. And adjacent stuff. You shotgun. I love the comedy adjacent. I'm taking that with me for my lifetime. I love it man. I'll give you to hear them next week. So I try to say something to me and then I'm like you're comedy adjacent man. I don't I don't really fuck, you're comedy adjacent man, I don't, I don't, I don't really fuck with people who are comedy adjacent.

I don't, man. By the way, by the way, I had to tell you this, Blazer Ramon is one of the dopest fucking Twitter feeds after all. Oh, thanks for that. Yeah, that was my wrestler. That was my wrestler too, back in the day. Scott Hall, right?

Razor Ramon was a lot of fun. Yeah, as many of you came to me, I was herminaric. He's alive, right razor bone was a lot of fun. Yeah, is he a lot right razor bone still I So the documentary about Jake the snake amazing I'm a great Well, I would take the snake Amazing How many now yeah, I did of course he is why wouldn't you know what I mean?

I feel like pro-wrestlers community. There is like a similarity there just to despair hopelessness we're fucking in best westerns yeah limping to a lot of great what a great doc yeah I was going the great show you know that was that was sad that we do that that wrestlers are comedians that put themselves through fucking like we don't have to do that at least nobody thought Hulk Hogan would like own galker you know what I mean because because of a fucking sex tape yeah that's amazing he never thought I'd watch Hulk Hogan with like own galker. You know what I mean? Because of a fucking sex tape. That's amazing. Never thought I'd watch Hulk Hogan

bang some other dudes like for five minutes. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. You didn't watch the video? No, I don't like shit like that. Dude, it's like the most awkward sex tape

I've ever seen in my life too. It's like he's like banging them for like three minutes and then he's like, oh, I think I'm gonna fart. Like, it's like a weird, it's like a weird. Oh, he needs to say that. He's not even trying to hug. No, but he starts going like, I feel so bloated at one point. He really did.

It's like, it is a weird. It makes noises. Oh, old man noises. It's like, oh, why did they eat turkey right before this? Right. That guy's son, his son, didn't kill somebody like an accident. Yeah, car accident. Yeah, right?

They got soup for a lot of money too. Soup for a lot of money. The. Yeah, right? They got super a lot of money too. Super a lot of drunk driving right? Yeah. Man, the Hogan's. It's a rough. Tim, do you use the word, do you use the word Faggot or no? He calls me a Faggot every other day.

I mean, sometimes it's go, but I don't use it on stage. Sometimes it's go, sometimes it's go, sometimes it's go, but he's got to be the Faggot. But in all seriousness, like you're offended by it? No, I don't care. You know, I think if you use it offensively, you can use it offensively. You know, I don't say it I think if you use it offensively, you can use it offensively. I don't say it on st-

I got maybe one joke about being ganked, maybe two jokes, and that's it. And then the rest of it is screaming about Saudis. I feel like it's more interesting and funner. But I don't use it. I don't have a problem with it. Like, you know, they're a dude to make it funny. That's the thing, if you use a word like that,

the emphasis is, you have to make it really funny. Yeah. That's the thing with that. Louis did it. Louis used the N word and made it really funny. Like, I would never do that, because I don't know, I don't even know. I'm knowing near good enough to make that word funny.

And maybe I never will. But it's gotta just come to you. It's like the way any joke you think of it comes to you. Like, if something really funny comes to you, if it's funny enough, that's like the beautiful natural ebb and flow of comedy that if you're gonna say something really offensive like you get this natural balance that then the punch has to be that strong right or it's a true if you if you get too serious on the topic like you could

get really serious in a joke but then the coming punchline has to get hit hard enough to just different every group of people is different and that's a great thing about comedy. It's like, there's going to be a group of people. If everything goes the right way, there'll be a group of people that really dig and get what you're doing. And it doesn't have to be everybody.

Like, you might not be the world. You know what I mean? Like, you're right, too. If you have a funny rape joke, it's got to be a monster. It's got to be a monster. It's got to be brilliant. If you're going to have to, if you're doing a retarded, kid joke, like that's the one that's called slow babies. Yeah. It's got to be monster. It's gotta be a monster. It's gotta be brilliant. If you're going to have to, if you're doing a retarded kid joke,

like that's the one that's called slow babies. Yeah, it's gotta be good. It tells a bit on his new thing was brilliant. It was so funny that fucking special needs Bitty did. It's gotta be good. It's gotta be good. And that's the common you get every night, you do it, you're getting feedback.

That's a great thing about this art form is opposed to like, other is like, you could, you could, you could. Well, that's, but that's why these social justice warriors are fucking retarded and don't understand comedy at all. These guys are getting away with rape joke. And they're showing like joke is there harsh it's not going to do well. It's like if there's no punch to it and if it's and if it's an un like an inhuman. You have to just ignore them. You actually have to go harder.

Yeah, you actually not only ignore them go harder and don't apologize. But too many comics are afraid. That's the thing you can't apologize because that's the worst thing you could do. They're afraid of losing shit. No, you notice. Well, you know, but you notice the ones who didn't apologize. The story will completely. You remember the way Natasha Ligero. I, she said, I'm not apologizing. Yeah. She said that she said some about veterans and then the story was fucking done It's when you a pod, but you know I oh gosh apologize because fucking Viacom yes, for Seleendon I opened for Joe coin Chicago in 2011 when he said faggot on stage and like he wanted to be getting like fired from Chelsea handler pilot like lost it like his manager let him go and like it was like a crazy

Spin because like it went from like if you're on Chelsea Handler. Yeah, you gotta know that that's kind of their It went from like the the dude's blog picked wrote. He's like I enjoyed the show But he said faggot on stage and then huffington post picked it up the next day. It wasn't even bad, right? Yeah, it wasn't like his zipper his zipper was down for like the first 20 minutes of his set and someone noticed and he's like, oh, is it been down the whole time? And some guy was like, yeah, I saw it. And he's like, oh, what are you looking at my dick for? Are you a faggot? Offhand the same way, like if someone stands up in the front row and you're like, oh, what are

you going to the shit? Like it's not. Did he get a laugh? He got a laugh. And then it was just literally in the middle of set, like nothing. Huffington Post picked it up and said, like, this is after reports, he set a rant similar to tracing Morgan's on stage at a college got booed all Tracing that for you know what it is to NBC. There's so much media and so many like we nobody works a real job in this

Nobody nobody nobody wants to get hits on their blog and shit go to Williamsburg assos fuckers. What are you gonna mention to me? You I'm not gonna mention the name, but this thing really got me fucking yeah Twisted is this fucking article on CNN about this, it's kind of like a joke blog about how it would be great if Michael Phelps passed the flag carrying responsibilities to that Muslim African American fencer. No, yeah, right. It's like, you know, you just give and Trump supporters their wings when you say dumb shit like that.

I mean, it's like this is athletics This is he was oh what bell did yeah, oh there you go. Yeah, I like the guy I would what he had what happened but the article was just fucking it was no, I'm glad you brought that up because it actually actually Said this guy needs to shut the fuck up. Yeah, I don't get it I don't I don't know him and I actually have friends my friend Joe Bartonick knows him from San Francisco He's a nice guy is a nice guy, but but you know what that aside and I didn't want to talk bad about a comedian But the fact that this guy is going he should have Michael and here's the funny It's not because he's the most decorated Olympian ever

He's the most decorated who else you want to carry but not only that he's going back and he's yeah But and that's funny that you say that because he went to rehab and wasn't going to go back. Then he decides he's going to go to his fifth Olympic Games, which is a record. And they make them captain of the swim team. Who else? Who else? And I think there are there are comedians out there.

There was an effect change more than one. And here's what he's doing. And that's what he was saying. He was saying that he should Michael Phelps in this one. Haven't white guys enough Haven't there been enough white guy haven't you guys had enough? Why not pass it over and I know he's doing it for his show or whatever but it's in raging It's in raging because it's one has nothing to do with the other. It's ridiculous

It's yeah, but I think yonis is really right and this way I know there's a lot of like liberal Friends of mine who aren't like you know crazy social justice warrior who are like, they realize this is what's leading to Trump. And all those people, you want to keep like kind of like, shaming, you want to basically, if you're answer the last 200 years of racism, is to now be racist against white people, and look for the excuse to bash white people constantly, it's like, okay, your average, like, whatever the IQ of the average Trump supporter who's out there at a rally is. That person who's not like this fucking genius who doesn't have a, people like to think of their own group as good. It's a very natural human tendency to be like, my uncle made the best chili, my family is the best at this, our local restaurants is the best art. They want their team to win, and if you keep fucking raking people over the coals like your team is bad white people did bad throughout history eventually they just want someone who stands up like like our team rock feeding into the church of

Georgia yeah our team is cool yeah totally and here's the thing about it it's like it serves his purpose it's like she's wearing a hojeebe so that would be like a good thing right but it's like look the hojajibe if we want to talk about it Yeah, it means a lot of different things to a lot of different people man. It's not fun to the women in Iran Like I understand some people see this Like guys like the become a belt unwittingly start doing the bidding of fascist and tyrant That's what liberals do and I mean I want to get on a thing But the reality is that when he starts saying things like that

Like oh it would be good. It showcases diversity is like Yeah, maybe maybe and maybe not the reality is that there's a lot of people who don't want to wear that garment You know, and it's the Olympics and it's kind of irrelevant to her. She's a fuck fuck. I'm fencer You know, she's a fucking fencer It's a first time she can have a fucking birthday hat on her By the way, as long as she wins for the US of A So this is the crazy thing this is what I was saying about comedy before where you wait It's been over represented by blacks and Jews. It's bringing this victimhood to an area that doesn't need it The Olympics

The greatest Olympic moment in modern history was Muhammad Ali carrying that torture At 96 the Olympics where you think there hasn't been black athletes represented. Yeah. I mean, you out of your mind, what is sprinting? What is all of track and field? What is the NBA players aren't even staying in the players village? They're not because they are multi-million dollar properties that move around like like Nike's like Carmelo Anthony's going where? No, no, no, no, he's like what are you talking about it's just like inserting victimhood and he got the backlash and you know it's like you you

sometimes that's what people would listen to what I love he want I like I like Ann but Ann culture and I try to get into my pocket this is somebody who just wants to throw acid around. Like that's what Ann wants to do. Well, she knows what she's doing. But she knows what she's selling books. She's selling books. Like, she's got to show us.

And he wants people to, yeah. She want to fucking, he listen to the back legs. Yeah, but those people fucking, those people have fucking low moral character that they're only saying it for their own. They're the same person. They're the different sides. They're not the better men to decide. No, but they don't want that. They don't care about that. But you could same person. Just different size. This is not the better minutes to side. No, they don't like that.

They don't care about that. Well, you could tell, like, the different, when we talk, we're talking, you know what I might say? I didn't think about that, what you may say, I didn't think about it. Right. You know, we're trying to figure out what the problem is. Those people are out there going, trying to sell on Bob's. They're trying to, they've also got better careers than we do.

No, they've got better careers. You know, that's a problem in this country. Yeah, it's true. It's fucking op-ed kind of pointing. Like, it's their own self-aggrandizement. It's not a dialectic about what they're saying. It's amazing how much that team mentality shit. I do a lot of shows at Fox News, and it's amazing how much

when you get there. You're just like, it's like, when you like, if you insult Hillary or insult the Democrats to jail, I said in a Fox News screen. I said, the fucking, I said, the country is run by crime families and then the older public is a fox with yet a Clintons I'm like the Bushes are in bed with Saudis. What do you think like their Boy Scouts and then all of a sudden they get they get out of it by the other side's bullshit.

Yeah. It's all fake. Let's plug some dates here. That's really we've solved the problem. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, we got half hours coming out. Remont tells where you're going to be. We didn't even get to Lauren's divorce. Oh, come on. I didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, no, not to say that. Yeah. Take care about that. Sorry. Well, that's not supposed to be. I think it's a talk about it. Oh, shit. Congratulations. Thank you. She's a free agent right now. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens.

I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens.

I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. I can't wait to see what happens. How long how long ago did this happen? It's pretty recent, but it's been about a year now. Yeah. Oh shit Did you get to like could cold him before you left him? What does that mean that like you had another man take you in front of it? It's the war that he like I've never heard a pronounced phone by the way Was there a a Jason person in your Soros when Ramones on the fuck You him and an adjacent person sleeping with you while you watch him do your kids no, no, okay, I'm 29 Zero okay, I love how that's young now

We like leave it you really like like 30 adult like 30 adult 29 30 30 is great for later That's when you stop like you're like you're past your problem. Yeah, yeah 30 is awesome for a dude Yeah, 30 is awesome for a dude not for me I'm sorry I'm not happy because I'm gonna get the leftovers guys with kids happy because I'm going to get the leftover. It's guys with kids. But you're having a boy. You have you if you know what it gets a divorce if like it wasn't going good right.

Yeah, she's she's got a good point though. Like I'm still single and I assure you I'm broken. Yeah. So probably most people you're going to meet. No, they got a bag. All right. Well, that's a great note to end on. Everybody's broken. And uh, Ramon, what's going on? I will be August 26 through through 28th is my comedy festival and Cleveland called Accidental Comedy Fest. If you go to accidentalcomedy.com,

you get info on all the comics and musicians and podcasts that are happening that weekend. And then my half hour special airs on the 26th and I will be in Atlanta at the relapse theater in September. Awesome. Is that part of Red Clay or no? No, that's like a week before. I do.

Red Clay, I'm excited about that. Oh, land is amazing. I had such a great time. It's awesome. Dave Smith. Hey, buddy. I'm in the city the whole month, but I am opening for Nate at Caroline's. Great.

On the 26th. They've got you. Yeah, Nate Bugazzi. Great comedian. And good friend of all of ours. And yeah, Legion of Skanks every Wednesday. I do part of the problem. Also on the gas digital network. Monday's and Friday's. I did that. I had of all of ours. And yeah, Legion of Skanks every Wednesday, I do part of the problem, also on the gas digital network,

Monday's and Friday's. I did that, I had a lot of fun. And follow me on Twitter, Comic Dave Smith, all that good stuff, yeah. Puffers. This Saturday? Why are you doing it? This Saturday.

I'm gonna be one of my favorite clubs. I like it because you can play. I love you get lower every time. Bring your family. This club tonight's a Columbus. It's connected. I'm actually going to be as connected. No, I'm going to.

Saturday, I'll be at Rockwell's in Pelham, the 13th. I love the room, actually. It's in Westchester. And then I will be headlining with co-headlining with Joe Bartonick at Mohican Sun Comics at Mohican Sun September 9th and 10th. And then I will be headlining the Tempe Arizona improv Wednesday, September 21st.

Great, y'all. I will be in Philadelphia from the 25th to the 27th at the Philadelphia punchline. So get your tickets there available online. Also my album is out right now on iTunes. My first album called Let Me Be Yon. So go pick that up please. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming.

Scope bow. If you listen to the live, I got a show tomorrow night with Derek Gaines, at Leavety Live. And then Friday, I'm at the tomorrow night with Derek Gaines in levity live and then Friday I'm at the brokerage with Andrew Schultz come check that out. Do you have anything to plug in a couch? We let people on the couch plug anything you sure all right Lauren just at Lauren Cabero and Twitter and Instagram okay you get like deep ego and then I'll do Bobby's Okay, I'm gonna do my my shit. What a great job you did, Phil. You did it, Phil. It was a great job.

Yeah, thank you very much. No idea that Bobby's not here. Ah. I'm gonna be at the Empire Casino, which, Sean Donnelly, on August 17th, 18th to the 20th, I'll be in the Vermont Community Club with Dan Soder, podcast Tim Dylan's going to hell, where we defend crime families, dictators, mob bosses.

We defend evil people in society because nobody's doing that right now. We do it. Talking about the gotty kid. What gotty kid? We use stop with the queens fucking gotty. Five, seven, seven, up, and non-defending the Saudis. Not the fucking gotty kid. Fucking nuts.

People. I got a couple shows coming up. August 15th, I'll be at the mocking bird in the East Village. And then on September 15th, I'll be doing a show at the Creek and the Cave. So you can check that out. All right. Yeah, my website is blazeramon.com. Blazeramon.com. Anybody want to throw some websites out? At Tim J. Dylan, D-I-L-L-L-L-O-N on Twitter.

And now we have Bobby Kelly. The man who's not here. Lauren's going to tell you some dates. Go to River Kelly live. dot com on August 30th. We're doing a live show creeps with kids at the village underground. It's going to be Bobby Jim Florentine, Von Erichrolin and Louis J Gomez. It's gonna be a great time.

Louis J Gomez. Premium membership. It'll be on the premium. Yes, so it'll be behind the walls. We have to be a premium member to get that one ninety nine. September 9th 10th, he's going to be true story tour, laugh it up, Pekipsey, New York, September 16th, 17th at the Vermont Community Club in Burlington, Vermont, and just go to Robert Carroll Live for all his dates. Also, my new podcast, Robo vs. The Dog, with me and James Madden matter and it's you can find it on SoundCloud

And it'll be available on iTunes very soon Robo vs the dog, okay, hey everybody would want to if you want to email Yeah, it's a sit on the couch like Doug dig go to ykwd producer at rikast.com And if you want to send anything in you go just 117 McDougal Street 1 0 0 1-0-1-2, Care of Robert Kelly. All right. Good job, Timmy Dillard. Thanks for coming out. All right, guys. Have a good night.

You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now, go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the Internet. ¡Nunca vamos a ir a los chiles de trabajo! Chiles de trabajo. Check out riotcast.com por todos los podcasts en el internet. Y todos los frutos y todos los frutos. ¡Soy!

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