Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Dan Soder | Be On Time

Episode Date: April 9, 2023

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Ah no no no no Domingos! Pizza! The fact that YKWD podcasts, YKWD's back again Home school, back in the day, we're all starting before them all YKWD, YKWD's podcast is so fun and crazy and there's no rules Shut up, you're ruining this Rupert Bargain, I'm sorry It's a comedy podcast, this is an NPR That's the podcast done

Is there any better show? This is the original. What's up everybody tonight is a special night YKWD but we've forewarned start this awesome show. Yes, this hat is awesome. I got an Amsterdam. It's a very Boston hat. I want to thank all the Patreon people. Thanks for supporting me. Patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly. You're watching the show live. You get to be in the chat. You get to suck your own pack. I should beep that because fucking YouTube will cancel us. And I want to, if you're watching us on YouTube, just hit the subscribe button, hit the like and hit the, you know, the comments. Talk about things, you know, fight with each other. Do something,

you know, I don't care. Do anything in there. I heard the young kids say that the algorithm, if the comments are going back, I'm wordy. I know. My guess is here. I fucking love them so much. I'm gonna get into a fucking, you guys know what to do. I don't know what to do. You do what you do. I'm gonna do what I do. And that's talked to other comedians and I love this guy so much. I mean, Dan Soda from the... From the road. From the road. From dansoda.com slash tour.

Not. Yeah, this is weird. This is for some, it was funny watching you talk yourself out of promoting it. Sure. You're like, don't just do a fuck. I don't know. I forget what it needs to be done. Praise, all you have to do is say,

praise to the algorithm. I do it. Praise to the algorithm. Praise to the algorithm. And you just got bumped up, dude. There's just guys that are at work and this just came across and now they're watching it and now they're gonna deep dive.

They're gonna find the fucking regs and they're gonna be like, these boys shouldn't be on it. Yeah, they're gonna deep dive. They're gonna find the fucking regs and they're gonna be like, these boys shouldn't be on it. Yeah, they're gonna cancel me. Don't do that. Unpraise the algorithm. No, do praise, all praise, the almighty algorithm. I wanna stay right where I'm at.

Alla algorithm. Alla algorithm. Danny. Hi buddy. It's been a wild, it's a crazy podcast for me. Yeah. But it's really crazy podcast for me. Yeah. But it's really not. No.

I feel like, We talk all the time. I feel like it in my brain like, oh, this is a thing and oh my God. But to me and you, what, you know, you and Jay, this is something you left the bonfire. Yeah. And I replaced you on the bonfire.

Yeah, dude, which is perfect. Imagine if it was someone else, just like a conic from LA that Jay was friends with, and it was just like, I just have to see him around at the comedy seller. This is the bonfire did what families settling the West did when they were on an Oregon trail, like a wagon trail, and like the dad would die,

the brother would step in. I step in, I'm not even a brother, like I'm a brother but I'm a cousin. Yeah, we were like, you were in our wagon trail. Yeah, I was in the back. Yeah, and I died and they were like, that Bobby in the steering wheel, pretty good. It was like, get Bobby up here.

He's gonna be guarding the women from now on. Yeah, that's doing voices. I get scared, can I be honest with you? Yeah, tell me. That I get nervous every time I do a voice. Why? Because you were there, you were there, and you did such good stuff.

Oh, I was just feeling it. You're always in my head going, not good. Don't do that, Bobby. It's not good. Bobby, don't do that voice. That's a voice I would do, Bobby. No, man, it's fucking perfect. It's been great watching you,

and it's like, I mean, due to it is weird. It's weird watching like the front one, your first of you's first day there on Monday. I'm like taking a dump looking at Twitter and the bonfire tweet something out and I was like, I don't know, that looks different. And then I clicked on it and it was like you and Jay and I was like, oh, that's nice.

Yeah. I mean, you're like, cool. Ah, I don't, but it was. It says'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Well, no, on the show when they say welcome back to the bonfire with big joke is in a Robert Kelly, you know, Robert Kelly, dude I can I feel I've offered this to DJ Lewin Jacob and I've said it before I can get Kyle can aim this to I can reach out to Kyle Canay and be like hey, can you can you do and Robert Kelly to sort of sound what if he says and what be fun if he says no Not a fan ain't doing it. I would want to come on the show and talk about

I know what you did to piss off. I don't even know, I know you met him. Someone tweeted at me, it was like, I think you should be the voice of like, and welcome back to the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocroson and Robert Kelly. That's perfect, who did that? A fan tweeted that at me.

That was me. That was your burner account? I have a burner account. I would do it. I mean, if J was comfortable with it. It's calm right now. I mean, he's letting him rest. Okay, whoa, whoa, something's up.

No, I just know Tuesday nights. I know my Jay. This is the thing I don't, I'm learning. Tuesday nights are his rest night. I'm learning Jay. I'm learning all kinds of things about him. He's so petty in Jay. I'm going to be such an ex-wife.

I'm such an ex-wife to you now. I got, Jay's Tuesday nights are where Jay relaxes. You should probably learn that. But you get mad. Learn about your man. You get mad when Jay actually hangs out with me on Tuesdays. No. Jay doesn't pick up my phone calls now. He doesn't. You know that. You know how Jay is. By the way, this isn't because I've left the von fire. Jay is horrible to get a hold of. I'm so glad you said this. He doesn't. He doesn't answer texts. I've used my higher power in AA to accept it.

Oh wow, you had to go to the AA playbook. I had to go to my higher power. Dang. I had to go to step three. Damn. And Alan. Of course. Of course.

No. He does a pick up or so what? But he does respond. It's just not in regular people times. Yes. It's in J-time. By the way, yeah. I hold no grudge against J. I know he's not going to pick up, but what I usually expect

is when he heads outside for a cigarette. Yeah. We're talking at that time and making bond connect. Don't talk about on Saturdays and Sundays, dude, I'm not talking about. Oh, we're actually living together. That's weird. Well, I'm living with J. there's a bit for the next day. I wouldn't do that.

It's been fun. It's been fun. I wouldn't do that, but I can't tell you. Let's just say Christine has a bad back. Whoa. Chinese finger trap with a wobbly egg. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah dude, it's been wild, but it's still weird to me

because you're my son. Yeah, you brought me, I mean, dude, I legitimately talked to Alan. But I look at your eyes now and I see a man. Oh, it's weird to me. Oh. Yeah, dude, it was like a weird, I talked to Jay and we've talked about it before,

but I talked to Jay about it about a year, like 10 months ago, like May, I was like, think I'm gonna step away at the end of the contract. No, and then he wanted to keep going. Of course. And when he said you, I was like, fucking yeah, we read his apartment, and he goes, think I'm gonna ask Bobby,

and I talked to Bobby, and he said he'd be down, and I was like, fucking yes, perfect. You know, it's so funny because I think of you two, and you guys are so be down and I was like, fuck in, yes. Perfect. You know, it's so funny because I think of you two and you guys are so perfect, everybody knows that. You guys, you're just donors that know the same stuff. You know, there's a magic that happened. You guys downplay it every time I try to compliment you. You always fucking downplay it.

Take a compliment, don't you? All right. What it is, is it's the same thing. I'm saying what it is. Okay. You agree. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Go ahead. The floor is yours. What are you going to say?

I was going to say it's like comics do that with each other. Jay and I just were able to do it for a very long period of time, which is make each other laugh. You guys make each other laugh. That's it. But it's so it's so good. Yeah, that's so amazing. And I loved going in there.

We all, like we all knew you go into the bonfire. You won't get a word in. That's what Joe said. You won't get a word in. Who's Jay Gomez is roasty? It was like, and you try to get a word in edge wise. And here's the thing though, you wind up watching because you guys are so funny.

It wasn't like a fuck these guys. It was like, you're like, oh shit, these guys are real for that. You're laughing. Yeah. And you get your shit in, you're like, oh shit, these guys are real for that. You're laughing. And you get your shit in, you got a pump in, but. So it's sad to see that, you know what I mean for me? And it was weird for me to be like, but I told Jay, 100%, but if you came to me and said Jay's living,

and you were like, I'd be like, yeah. But it's, I think you would go either way. And I think you were the you were the like I mean dude Cuzz of you got into the seller right because I got I remember you know what dude Yeah, I remember First people coming up to me being like oh her Jonah podcast right her John Robert Kelly's podcast You're really funny. Yeah, like shout out Derek and Raul in San Antonio coming to like the show And I was selling like 15 tickets

At the at the Riverside comedy club just bombing all week. The downtown one? The one that was in the mall. That looked like the zombie mall. And then I would just fucking bomb and like, you know what dude was the first thing where people were like, Hey, I mean, I'd come from the restaurant. Do you guys remember when you in the Rosa, you in the Rosa called me and dude,

it was like when you get a call from Robert Kelly, when you're a waiter at those comedos. So getting a call from a lieutenant general. You're like, yes sir, I got it. We're getting a call on the red line. And I like went into a hutch and I was like, oh, oh, and you're like, dude, what are you doing?

And you get the fucking restaurant. I'm like, yeah, Bobby, I'm closing lunch. I'm kind of slam right now. And you got, dude, well, what do you got tonight? I was like, nothing I'm like, yeah Bobby, I'm closing lunch, I'm kind of slamming right now. And you got, well, what do you got tonight? I was like, nothing, I was like, the home to Queens, you go, come off of it, we're gonna do a podcast. And I was like, okay, great.

And I was like, I got something to do. And I went and changed into my clothes down in the locker room. And I like, walk over to your house in the, in the house kitchen, smoking a cigarette, be like, all right, we're gonna do the podcast. And I walked in and you went toeroza beat the shit out of me on air for 60 minutes for Gator fight. Yeah.

Cause I put it up as my profile picture. It's one of the greatest YKWDs ever. It was a beating. When me and Deroza used to do it and then you came in. Yeah, but that was what I mean. You and Deroza had this like, you talked about like J and I. You and Deroza had this match where you guys were both. It was like perfect for each other.

Yeah, but the problem was that you have to turn in, it doesn't just turn Ijo. The thing with you guys, which is perfect, you guys, it was always fun and lighthearted. You never fought. Me and Derosa. Remember that episode we did there? Dude, I still got it.

It's fog, I mean. You guys were, you were doing a renovation. Because Derosa talks to you like he's gonna beat you the fuck up and I'm from Boston. Thank you. And when, and when, And I'm from Boston. Thank you. And when, and when, and what? I'll be, yeah. Thank you.

What? I want everyone that went through the NFC Championship drama that heard me lose my goddamn mind because Joe DeRose texted me when the 49ers were losing. And then I threatened him with violence. Yeah. Everyone went like, oh, that's crazy. And you go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't understand how DeRose talks to people. He talks to you like, he'll fight. Like he'll show up and fight you. Oh, that's crazy and you go no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no You and Deroza are two people that when you corner, you get a little fucking. I'm a little less now. Much so. I'm a little less now. Thanks to Max. Max, yes. All that energy is in Max. Like you got like, you got, now you're calm and you're like,

hello, I still get off the handle, but back in the day, at my peak ego and Deroza's, even Jay and Deroza used to to tell me you got better Bobby. When I was on the road with you. Yeah, you got better. They were like, you have no idea about you. What? You were better than.

Thank you. I'll say that to you too. Yeah. Is that you Jay? I remember I would fall asleep. My favorite road story. God damn it, dude. The one like I would you got me so mad And I couldn't do a god damn thing. What was that?

I think it was 2011 the 49ers made the playoffs for the first for you know exactly how time The 49ers right has broke heights. Yeah, the 49ers made the playoffs for the first time and fucking like 10 years. And we were home against the Saints. And I was featuring for you at Go bananas. At bananas, at Hasbrook Heights, at the hotel. And you were like, and I called you worried. I was like, Bobby, the early game is the 49er Saints, but we have a seven o'clock show or like a 730 show.

Yeah. What the fuck are we gonna do when you go, dude, I already took care of it. Got us a hotel, we'll go out there, we'll have a pizza, you can watch your fucking game. Why am I retarded, Bubby? Cut the lines. Bad.

You go, you go, you go, what dude? You're gonna have to edit that on YouTube. Why? Because I'm trying to get jobs next. Oh yeah, get out. I'm just kidding, I got out. We're back. But I remember you being like, I got us a hotel,

where you get a pizza. Sure. Go downstairs, we'll do the gigs. We're driving to Jersey. I meet you in Hell's Kitchen, we're driving to Jersey. And you go, I gotta stop by the Apple Store real quick. And so we go by the Apple Store in Jersey and you take so long you take

40 minutes and you're like asking them about external hard drives. I'm a secret nerd. Yeah. And you go like, well, Dave, this one, I got like a PC. Can I hook it up? And the guy, the guy knows you guys a huge opian Anthony, huge, you know what do you think? Yeah. So they know me. So I'm like, waiting and I'm like, this is awesome, Bobby. And you go, and you keep like, when you know that it's taking too long, keep going like this. How cool is it they know who you want, dude? And you're like looking at the external hard drives and you keep going, how cool is that, dude? You got fans. And I'm like, yeah, Bobby, uh, kickoff is, it's coming up, dude, I will never forget this. We're like, we're like 20 minutes away

from the hotel kickoff in like 30. I forgot this until right now. And then we're walking, we're walking to the parking lot from the Apple Store. This is 2011. This motherfucker Robert Kelly, as we're walking you go, radio check, I gotta get something in there and I go, what?

And you go, I gotta get something in there, dude go what and you go I got to get something in there dude You got like it because you knew I was mad and so you just got mad on top of me to suppress that dude It was what you walked in there and I was like I was doing little kids side I was hot you was yeah, you were silence Gordon. Oh my god, and we got to the hotel And we turned to the hotel. And we turned on the TV, and the saints had drove down the field, but then there was a hit where the Niners got the ball. And I was like, four Niners got the ball.

And you go, say did. You're like, say, and I was like, no, no, you can't get out. That was why. Yeah, I remember being so mad at you, but I couldn't say shit because I was featuring for you. So I just had to be like, ugh. Well, you weren't like, Derosa was a pain.

Derosa, here's what Derosa does. He makes you feel like you're his feature. Dude, let me give you the list of people who do that. Tim Dylan did that. When he was featuring for me. I went out, we did like five gigs on the road one week and it felt like I was like, Tim Dylan was a feature for a week and a half. Well, he, I remember that weekend in Vermont, I was like, am I just closing your show?

Justin Silver. Oh. He'll do that on the road where I'd be like, yeah, I feel like we can go and do this. And you're like, oh, I wanted to do this. He's like, nah, I got to go work at. Bob, how much time are you going to do on the second show? Because I was going to do it. If I could do five. I'm gonna do this. And you're like, oh, I wanted to do this. He's like, nah, I gotta go work that. Bobby, how much time are you gonna do on the second shot? Cause I was gonna do it. If I could do five, I'm getting a name for clips.

And I love Justin. You're like, all right, all right, dude. Yeah, it's- Bobby, they gave me the light. Did you see it? There's some guys that you go on the road with. And you're like, Derosa made me.

Derosa, I could see being like that. Derosa made me. I had to go, here's the thing with him. I had to do a gig with him. Yeah. Leave him in the hotel for a night fly somewhere go do another corporate gig fly back pick him up and go do another gig, right? But I got I got a very short time frame to make this happen. Yeah to make this money. It's a heist So I got to drop him so I drop him off and There's a video store next door. So I know this story. Please keep going, but I know this story from Dorosis perspective.

Dorosis told me this story. So please continue. Okay. Yeah. Because I'm going to see how you how I want to see what you're I want to see what you. I don't like you. You believe him first. I do. All I know is his version. I know, that's not the, All I know is the Zack Snyder cut. I know the Joe DeRose cut. I need the Robert Kelly cut. I'm the Zack Snyder version.

I need the Robert Kelly cut. I'm not being the other guy. Okay, who was the other guy? Joss Whedon. Yeah, I'm the guy with the Joss Whedon. The Rose is Joss Whedon. Listen, here's the deal. Yeah.

I gotta go do this gig. I dropped my face, I say I'll be back tomorrow. Now this is at a time younger folks where you had to return movies. It wasn't all streaming. You could rent them and then you'd have to return them. I got the rent to car. I left, I had to take the car to the airport.

So we had to stay at the hotel. Sure. There was no Uber. I understand. But next door was some shit. You know what I mean? So I leave him there and I'm like, dude, we gotta go tomorrow.

We gotta go. So I go, do the show. I'm fucking panicking. I do the show. I think it was kind of hell gig or something. Sure. I drive, I fly back, get to the car, drive back to pick it. We gotta go.

He's not shalantly, you know what I mean? I, yeah, yeah, listen, I got to go return these movies, you know, Dero says, all right, man, yeah, how was it? Oh, that's great. All right, give me, give me a little bit. I got to get my stuff. I told you, we got to fucking go. Yeah, I told you, we got to find I'm coming, picking you up and we go, I well I gotta go return the movies I took what yeah look a fucking time for you to go in and fucking return your stupid Stevie D's that's Bobby be kind please rewind I was fucking Furious yeah cuz this fucker had me just doing his bidding when I said to him

I'm I'm coming back at this time. Be ready. You know I'm a time guy. You're a dude, I know you're a time guy. Me and Lewis. I'm a time guy. Me and Lewis didn't talk for two and a half hours all the way up to Mohican Sun.

Cause he was late. Not late. I told him when he calls me up the day before, I don't know how we're gonna lose. Easy. Yeah. He's another guy. Oh, he calls me up the day before, I don't know how we're gonna lose, easy. Yeah. He's another guy. Oh, he calls me up. He goes, uh, okay, I said, dude, meet me at the station.

I'll pick you up at the train station, white planes at 12 o'clock. He texts me at 10.30. Yo, Doug, what time is the train come? You're like 12 o'clock. Whatever time get you there at 12 is the time the fucking train. Oh, he wanted the train for a while.

He wanted the schedule for, he wanted me to find the schedule. So I'm furious. I'm like, this little fucker. I'm taking him with me. I don't fucking need it. I'll take a better con, a nicer comic. Someone who's treat me and get me shit.

Yeah, I'll go find a man that treats me right, but Lewis is just too hot. He calls me. He's too hot. I go to white plants, not there. He texts me. You want coffee, doggy? I go, what?

He went to the other train station because it had a Starbucks. I know it's a train station. Hard to tell. Yeah, hard to tell. Shout out Metro North. Starbucks is gone. It's actually, it's gone.

Gone, the closet. It was a beautiful Starbucks. COVID, Fau mess around North. Starbucks is gone. It's actually, it's gone. Gone, the closet. It was a beautiful Starbucks. COVID, Fauci, thanks. Damn. Anyways. Damn, that little Italian guy. Fucking took my Starbucks train to the city. That's a good, that was a good Starbucks.

I gotta go pick him up at a hard sale. But you can get a Starbucks. Huh? Good in Starbucks. I don't wanna fucking sell it. You just wanted him to be there. I want, dude, I was there. It's 1215. Yeah. You just wanted him to be there. I, dude, I was there. It's 12.15.

Yeah. He was late at the hot still. He came late, went to the wrong station intentionally, and told me to come pick him. I gotta go, I should have left. I should have just went. The people probably are like, who don't know comedy or probably like,

you're a psycho, you just add a different, but it is like, If you leave on the wrong time on a Thursday of Friday to go to Connecticut from New York, it's a six hour ride. Yeah, it's crazy. You have to leave at 12, 1230 to get there. But also you don't understand when you're coming up

and you're opening, there is this unspoken behavior of like, well, I'm with the headliner. You're not. The headliner, but that's what I mean. You're like, you gotta do what they need. I told you. So you do that coming up so that when you're there, you're like, hey.

Well, I mean, here's a deal, brother. You gotta have a little fucking, a little bit. And, and, and, and, and Derosa, none. Yeah, Derosa. That day, what do you say? I want to hear his status. Yeah, this is the Derosa. I don't like, first of all, I don't like a little chuckle

face. The derosa cut was he was like he had movies. He knew he had to return him. Sure. Had a certain time. I was like, and I think he admits fault. He was like, I didn't return him on time. He's like, Bobby, you know, it was no big deal. I said, to go next door and return him. And then Bobby screamed at me. Yeah. I think, you know, how Doreaus would like, really know that. No, I screamed. Oh, no, dude, I screamed. I screamed.

But like, I fucking hated him. Yeah. I hit him with my screams. She's just repeated that. I hit him with the scream. You just screamed. What the fuck? Yeah.

Cause he, here's the problem. If you just, here's my thing. If you just go dude, I fucked up. I'm sorry I'm late. It's my bag. I apologize. I fucking do it. Just go return the movies.

Hey, what's up, man? Dude, what the fuck? I told you, yeah man, all right. I'll be ready in a minute. But you're not ready now. He's like, what you're telling me? I just gotta return the movie. No, we had a big fight.

Then we're leaving. This is it. I don't know if you touched it part. We're leaving and he thought well He goes oh, I gotta return the movies. Oh on the way out. Yeah. Yeah, that's mad again Yeah, I'm gonna go to his dub subshop at him with a roll. Yeah, you're like you fucking piece of shit dude as we just By the way real quick. I gotta go yeah, I gotta go play a game of Sudoku and Bobby. Yep. Yep. You gotta wait for me. I'll fucking kill you.

Dude, waiting. Oh my god. Waiting is, it really, really hurts me. I don't know what it is. I just, be on fucking time. I used to, cause I got the shit scared out of me. My mom used to scare the shit out of me. Like you fucking, you're on time.

Yeah. At worst, if you call, I'll give you five minutes. That's it though. If you're five more than five minutes late You're grounded you're done right something you're losing something. I know I used to be so Do you remember what time we were swimming when I was like 10 and we went to like a development that was like out there Cuz it was like new and they had like a new pool sure And you could lie and be like I live at this fucking house and they'd let you in the pool

Yeah, and it was so fun. They had a diving board. Love poor Dan. Oh, we were just fucking swimming. I love, I love, I love project rat Dan. Oh, no, this is the burbs, baby. But we were swimming and I was like, this is the best day ever. And then we swam a little too long. We're just doing some back flips and shit off the diving board.

And I remember the fear of being like, no cell phones, there was no nothing. Sure. You just saw the clock at the pool And you're like I can't make a home in yeah, you're Indian tap India. We look at the sun. Yeah, you're like okay Get it and I just remember that ride being like Yeah, then getting there and she's like you 15 minutes late. You're losing video games and you're grounded for a week And like fuck yeah, man that swimming was fun I had my eyes hurt because I had been opening them under the pool

And that swimming was fun. I had my eyes hurt because I had been opening them under the pool. So I was like, I had like fucking, you know, the all red eyes. Staring up at the sun, watching it just take away. Also just fucking swimming underwater. You know what's time to go because the birds stop chirping? Yeah, do you open your eyes underwater in a pool? Yeah. Who doesn't?

It's the best. Of course you do. But that people get mad at you when you do that. Why? You shouldn't do that. Who says that? You know, dorks. Dorks of people that don't like fucking seeing everything in the deep blue.

Hey, drop a ring down there. Go get that. That's so fun. Why does that still get me excited? I don't know. If you toss something in a pool and you're like, go get that. I'm like, done. Here's a deal. I like to not use goggles.

Use goggles. You see shit. No, it gets flying around. Yeah, there it is. You see like little kid poop. Like keep in my eyes. I don't want to see anything. I used to gog, you see shit, no get flying around. Yeah, that's it. You see like little kid poop. Like keep in my eyes. I don't wanna see a dirty bandage. No, nothing. That I wouldn't, yeah.

I don't wanna see something that fell off an ankle. Yeah. Yeah, no, but you throw a quarter. Like a white string. Yeah, I don't wanna. I'll get down there and grab that fucking quarter. With your mouth. All right, listen.

So, I got another question for you. Okay. Because back in the day, I didn't have, I didn't have a problem with you, because I always say this to people. I never really ever had a problem with Dan Soda. And so because you never gave me one, you weren't an asshole. You were the nicest, you were a nice guy,

you never gave me shit. No, and I knew not to get too drunk. Yeah, you weren't an asshole. Yeah, I don't. So, hey, Joe, fight with Dan. Not really. Yeah. Not really because why?

Oh, because Dan's not an asshole. I yell at fucking assholes. Yeah. I mean, I love that I get the bull. But I also have, I suffer. I get the full brunt of this shit from these guys, right? Yeah. And there's never a Bobby fucking flipped out.

Why? Why? I want to know why. Three letters, one question. Why? That's never at these little fucking Turks. Never ask that question. Dude, I love that even in this like fucking,

in this ASMR setup you have now, if you know what, I love that your anger still spills out. Where it's still, you've cleaned up so much, but it there's still some there Chinese take over bring it dude, I told you I'll be the first first republic of China people's Median you're done. What's better than our overlords? Nothing and then I'm doing the garden What's better than the big red bear? Nothing.

Who's sick of white bread? You, Ming Dynasty again. I don't even know. I don't even know enough Chinese history. Let me ask you a question. Because you did the bonfire. I know people want to know. Those people are going to watch this.

They're like, why does dance sucks? No. It's why people want to know, they know why you left. I know you talked about it. Yeah. But it doesn't, you know, it's this great gig, this unbelievable fan base. Yeah.

It really is a just, these people who are into that show are sweet as pie. I mean, really, I mean, they really care, which is on the road. They're literally with this transition of being so cool with my family. Which I was a little nervous. Me too.

And Jay and I talked about it. And I was like, I knew I was prepared to take a lot of shit. I was prepared for people to be like, fuck you. You know, who do you think you are? Like all that shit because you're leaving. You're like walking away from a thing that by the way there's no problems with now we weren't having problems we were fine we're a great show just felt like it was time I just felt like what do you what do you want to do stand up I just want to do stand up for like a year I just want to like but why couldn't you do

stand up with the bonfire you can you can totally can totally do it. But what was it? But it just for the last eight years, I got to do the, but it takes energy. The bonfire takes a lot of energy. Sure. It's not, listen, I've had real jobs. I understand. But there's a difference in how you expel your, like me trying to be funny, which Jays an elite comedian.

Yeah. You know that. You can talk to Jay about, about Scotch tape. And it's funny. Yeah. But I felt like I was, I felt like, well, what if I just go do stand up? Like what I, I, I, I wasn't happy with where I was

stand up wise. But still I'm not. But like I wasn't happy. I was like I want to get like way better, like way better. And I just felt like, well, if I can stay out on the road, if I can go and like do, you know, like, we have stuff planned for the fall where I'm just like gone for weeks just being like this city, then this city, then staying here for a couple days, then going here.

And I could do that with the bonfire, but it was also like, I would be holding up a whole show. I would be holding up everybody being like, well, we gotta do the show. And you know, I mean, I understand because, look, I'm going on my vacation. Yeah. And there was a lot of work between everybody

to figure out how we can all do it. And I mean, I got to do billions the entire time I was there. And that was phenomenal. But I would go to bat for the bonfire and be like, hey, we can't do it on Tuesdays. Right. Because we have two episodes. Yeah.

I can do Monday or Wednesday or wait till I'm not on the road and I can do Thursday, Friday. You're telling, you're telling, you're telling me. Until show time that. And I'd be like, I have a radio show. Like, I have a full radio. That's sure.

That's my job. And they were cool with that. Yeah. Well, both of them kind of came together and found a way to like, bonfire was great about it. Jane, all of them were great about it. And billions was cool about it. Yeah.

They get it. They're all good. They get it. That's fucking, that's campers out front. Yeah, there's like, give me a hug. But they're listening right now. And they're, I told them to all sail front and the seller. And we're up here, just beep.

But their thing is with I, I didn't want to start resenting anybody. I didn't want to start. I wanted to go like, Well, you got to, can I just say you got a life now that you're starting. You have this beautiful girl. Yeah, fiance Katie, we're getting married.

You're getting married. Yeah. And look at, just in the two weeks that I've done it, I'm doing it week, you know, that I've done it a couple of months. But now that I'm solidly doing it. Yeah, now that you're locked in, you're the co-host. Now that I'm in with it, it's like Monday, I'm gone. Tuesday, I'm gone.

Wednesday? All day. Wednesday, I'm gone. Yeah, Tuesday's a day because you got to do two. You're doing Thursday's episodes. You can go on the road. So it's uh Well, listen again. It's I've done much worse jobs

I don't know you would have to fuck fuck these people. No, but I'm saying like I Point is that we know it's not it's a fun job. Yeah, we don't have to keep pressing like we we we know there's people out there banging fucking nail yeah, we get that yeah, but there is something to be said about talking for two hours. I'm impressed that Jay can do what he does. I'm so impressed that he does bonfire and skanks and SDR and other shit that I'm like blown away. Where I'm like, dude, how big is your fucking. Well, that's the thing that's happening to me right now is that I have all my other podcasts. Yeah. Yeah, I got the call third Kelly, I got the YKWD, and got my kid.

You're in a lot of bands. I'm in a lot of things too. Like today, I had to wake up, I had to do, I had to, gee, I did, even like Jim and Sam, I did Jim and Sam this morning. I did therapy, I did the bonfire, I did my show. I'm doing this. That's a day, go sleep.

Go to sleep, go home, go sleep. So it is a day, but it's, I guess what I'm saying to you Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitalo desde el móvil, otra vez de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las de circunstancias económico financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Las últimas tendencias en botas, comodidad diértilo desde 29 con 99.

Daishman, mucho por Andaya. No sólo eso, pero era... Nice man, mucho por and I. Not only that, but it was like, I'm a huge opian Anthony fan. I was obsessed with you and Jim and Burr and Patrice and like how I learned about Louis CK was from originally from Opian Anthony, Tough crowd, Opian Anthony. Like I can name the four things that made me want to be a comedian. Opian Anthony, Tough crowd, Dave Chappelle's killing him softly

in the documentary comedian. Like those are the four things, like I've loved stand up my whole life. But those are the four things where I was like, I wanna be a fucking New York guy. I like the way these guys are just fucking honest with each other and vicious and so funny. And I'd be obsessed listening to like Gerardo's album

or Norton's album, and I remember like meeting you for the first time at Caroline's with Joe List back when you had that awful goatee. And you were smoking cigarettes in the green room and the list was open for you. And I remember you were, I remember you meeting like it was like the second time you met List

and I was with him. And you were like, I wait from kid. And you know, and he's like, I'm from, I think you're like, I lived in, yeah, he's like, I lived in Everett before I moved. You go, my wife's from Everett. Don was in the green room. And you guys weren't even married yet.

No. And you go, I ain't, my girl's from Everett. And she was like, oh, are you from Everett? And they're talking about Jim's roast beef or whatever the fuck it is. It's fucking mics. It's mics, and I'm sorry, because it's, the shit.

It's so fucking mics. Dude, mics, Rofe Beef, what is the triple one? Yeah. The king. Yeah, yeah. It's got my what mics. I do. And mics, what is the triple one? Yeah. The King. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. On course, try to buy them.

They were like, go fuck yourselves. Yeah, cause on court, build across the street. And they were like, come in. We'll give you a, no. Tom Dustin, Alvin David and Joe Liss would take me to Mike every time I go to, oh my god, get a Pepsi and a can. They don't have Rose P. sandwiches in New York. You have a Pepsi and a can.

Oh my god. I love that. I love that meal. But I remember, I remember like meeting, like being around you guys. And being like, dude, I fucking love it. And then being able to, dude, I try to get a job at Syrias in 2007 and they're like, go fuck yourself. Really? And but that got me hired at K-Rock. Because Robert Cross, shout out Robert Cross. I hope he's still serious after those massive layovers. But he, he, he gave my air check tape to Danny at free FM, which, which K rock turned into free FM. Opian Anthony were in the morning. DePolo was in the afternoon. Yeah. J, J P and Elvis and like radio chick, Chuck Nice at a show. All those people. And they were like, we do music on the weekends.

They gave me an air check. When serious was like, we're not hiring. Yeah. K Rock was like, uh, come in. We're looking for overnight, which fucking baby. It didn't do so. Yeah. I fucking live to do overnight.

So they hired me to do overnight on the weekend. What did you do overnight? What did you do? I would do 10 PM to 2 AM on air. What, you talked? Yeah, I was like a DJ. You had a radio show? Yeah, soda.

I was soda on. What the fuck? On 3FM and then on WXRK, K-Rock when they brought it back. It was called what? WXRK. No, your show. Oh, I was just, I was just a jock. You didn't have a show.

You didn't say, hey. No, you used your speed brakes. Hey, welcome to Dan Soda. No. No, no, no, no, you go, hey, what's up, it's Soda. It's 40 minutes nonstop new rock, 92.3 K rock. And that's all you do. Like I remember Nate coming back from a gig

from a sold your old gig. Fat Nate? Yeah, fat, fat Nate with a fucking Applebee's cut off under a Vandy baseball shirt. And it called me, he's like, dude, look, and say our names on the radio or whatever. And I was like, that was STP, they're playing this functional family picnic,

Nate Bargatsy driving back from a gig and the thing and he called me back, he's like, my head, that was so cool. And like I did it with Jay. I gave Jay and Justin cold play tickets because they wanted to go as a joke. Oh really? And I fucking got him,

because I was just like, an open-micro that was doing check spots, but I was like, I had been doing comedy in Arizona. So when moved here and already done stand up right but i was like. I work in a k rock and then i got fired when they switched in two thousand nine they switched top 40 so i was just a waiter and i was like me fuck radio i was really better when you came on my podcast for the first time. I remember telling the rose on my disk it's the shit he got mad at Derozo, I'm like, this kid's the shit. He got mad at me. Yeah.

He hated that I loved you. Yeah, dude, I remember there was a classic, you know what, through the episode, where Joe, it's like we're in your kitchen and Joe's mad and he goes, oh, he does fucking three voices. That's all I just remember Derozo go, every time I do it, he go one and three. Well, I was like, shut up. But I was like, they're good time I do it, I go one and three. I was like, shut up.

But I was like, they're good. I love Joe Derosa. I love Joe Derosa because he introduced me to you and then you called me and my old Queen's apartment the one I lived in for fucking 15 years. I was in the kitchen sitting at the table eating and you called me and you go, I didn't have your numbers. I was like, pick it up and you go, it's Robert Kelly.

Can you open for me? It's SUNY Binghamton. Or it was like SUNY Delphi or some shit. Deli. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, definitely you go, okay, here's how it's going to work, dude. I'm meeting you after a gig. So you're going to take a bus up there,

and then I'll drive you home. And I took the bus. There was a subway that had dropped you off. We got subway, went to some fucking motel. I was at one and you were at the other, and then we came out, we both smoked. And I came outside and you were smoking, and I was like, hey, what's up, man?

And we just talked, and then I did the gig, and I got off stage and you go, you're funny. We'll do this again. And then you drove home, you drove me home, and I told you about my shitty uncle, my dad's half brother, and you got you got mad and it made it like, dude, I can't tell you what that meant to me. What do you mean?

You got mad at this guy, my half uncle. You guys so mad at him. You guys are fucking prick, dude. You like smoking, you guys are fucking prick. And then you gave me a little extra money when we got to your house. We got to your house and you go, dude, that was a good job.

You just fucking like a hundred extra. Hey, one second. It's not gonna happen, Joe. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, he's got it. He's got the money. Yeah, shit. So I just remember, he's good for it. Yeah, but he,

fucking Alan today. Alan's so happy for you. I'm glad you got the bonfire. Now you can pay more. I was like, whoa, Alan Chilbayba. And Chilbayba. Baby, you're gonna get your money. But what I was saying is that the whole reason I gave

that fucking biography was because when Jay and I were finally able to do the bonfire, which took so much finegling and hassling and like comedy central didn't know what they were doing. Sure, sure. Serious wanted us and I feel like serious knew what we were, but they were trying to get us away from comedy central. So I felt like they were like, come maybe.

You know, and then comedy central was like, we're going to do a show. We were on comedy central for five years, six years. Yeah. And then I ask you a question, faction talk. I have a thing. I heard you got paid 50 bucks a show when you first started. It was like a hundred dollars a day. And pizza.

No, it was just a hundred dollars. So you guys said for the love of the game. Jay didn't have any money. Jay didn't have a contract. So you're doing it for the love of the game. We did six test shows. For the love of the game. We knew what we had.

Okay, but you knew. Like we did the first test show in DJ Liu who's been there the best. We knew what we had. Okay, but you knew. Like we did the first test show. And DJ Liu, who's been there the best. He's a fucking genius. He's a fucking genius. He's the greatest engineer in the history of broadcast. I was telling Norton that today. He's so good. I was like, he's so good.

He's like, yeah, I don't like when they add, I go, Jim, it's not that. It's part of the joke, or it's a joke by itself. I laugh. The drops? I laugh at lose drops. I miss the drops. They're very funny.

I miss Jay. I miss the crew. I miss the drops. Yeah, it's over. Listen, the thing is, I don't know. I heard Radio Andy's looking for a new show and I'm like, okay, I just had five o'clock.

What's up, sisters? I was joking with Jay, I just had five o'clock. What's up, sisters? I was joking with you. I was gonna do that. But it was like, man, I knew how much like when the show was starting, how much Jay was like excited to work at serious where I was resentful, you know, because I was coming back to radio like you, plus he's so mad. I was just like, you pieces of shit fired me at 09. But with serious and commy central and with,

do Jay and Jacob and Christine and Andy Fury at first, then Black Lou. Oh, yeah, cause Andy was there before. Yeah, Andy was there. Where is Andy now? He's still at serious, he still works. Yeah, so I'm gonna, he's doing stand up. But he, he's for the DiPolo show

The Apollo hired him is like a Producer slash co-host and then that show went away and Andy, you know, it was just like well We're like we got black glue dude. Sorry our black stepdad's way cooler than you ever were But no, but he you know he comes on all I love black glue black loser man. He's the best. I miss all those guys I miss sweet sweet Jacob so much. And I was texting Christine and you know, like I'm gonna hang out with Jay and then I'm supposed to see him and hang out on Thursday that he's gonna leave and go do the bonfire. That's gonna be weird as fuck for me.

Because... Keep dropping my shit. But what it became was like... After a while I was like dude, I think I don't want this to end like on a that bum me out. This show is not I was but I was saying like the way it went down. Yeah, well, I see that was that was people that don't. Didn't like each other.

Yeah, but they were sticking together for the because together they were amazing. Um, unbelievable, but they didn't like each other, but together, they were amazing. Unbelievable. So what happened with this show, which I found out, I left last Wednesday, I was telling Jay this, I sometimes I would leave on A and I love on A. But I would leave feeling, oh, fucking drained, because it's like you're getting assaulted, you get a fight back, you're going to say mean things to other people, you're always in the mix, right?

That whole thing was amazing, but it took a lot. And it hurt, it's like, I mean, you and Voss, you guys took, look at, it's, you guys took a lot of abuse. It was fucking nuts, you know what I mean? But when you, I left last Wednesday after my first week, I was skipping to my car. Yeah, it's fun.

It's fun. It's fun. It's not a, and credit has to go honestly to Jay because he really does set He sets the table of like I've become so much funnier being around him Yeah, because of his natural outlook on life sure where he's just like, yeah, man. This is funny It's crazy and it's like oh, yeah, you'll look up after an hour good dude. All right now. I did yeah, and he's so positive Yeah, he's great. And so it's all about fun. It is.

And that show was so much fun, but I was starting to feel drained. I was starting to feel like, I knew when we started, I knew Jay wanted to do this. He said, like one time we had a, we had to have like a check-in dinner with Tommy Central or a lunch. He was always lunch.

They were like, we gotta see, you know, we gotta make sure that you guys are all right. They'd check our teeth, you know, like breeding horses. But they don't do that. Serious doesn't do that. No, Jim McClure's the motherfucking thing. Jim McClure is the shit.

He's the motherfucking man. What a fucking nice thing. Big Jim and Big Jim productions are on point, but they Comedy Central asked us, they're like, how long you guys wanna do this for? And Jay goes forever. Like, honestly with the sweetness of a child. He was like, forever, and I went, not that long.

I was like, I don't know, but I don't, that's a lot. I don't wanna do forever. And it never was like, being shitty. It was just kinda like, yeah, and I set it on the bonfire. I thought we're gonna do this like two, three years. Yeah. We did it eight, eight years, man. And we got to eight and I was like, I think I'm good.

Like, and I, J being the sweetheart of his at Skankfest South, we were watching Ellis Mania, we were watching the fights or whatever and J and I were smoking a joint and he like brought up something about the bonfire. And I went, what would you say if like, I told you my gas tanks get a little low on that? And he was like, buddy, you just tell me when and it's, it'll be cool. And I was like, I called Katie later.

Cause I, dude, you know, me, I'm a people pleaser. Sure. That's why you never got mad at me as a headman corporate dad. Yeah. Exactly. Dude, a guy in a front row, shout out the front, the dude in the front row of Buffalo helium, where I was talking about, I was saying on stage, like I'm really trying to work on not trying to be liked

so much, because I think it takes away from who I am. I'm like giving myself away in order for people to like me, and I want Jada like me, because I love him. I love him, he's one of my favorite people on earth. And so knowing I knew that they would hurt him if I left the bonfire. So I was racked with anxiety. And then I asked him that it's skankfast.

And he was like, yeah, man, I love you. Just tell me when, and dude, I slept that night. Like a baby. The first time ever. Like dude, I slept so deep, and I remember waking up in my hotel, confused where I was. I was like, that was a deep sleep.

It's funny, he came to me at JFL. Yeah. And he just nonchalantly, we were hanging out doing tummy time. Yeah, laying on your tumtums, watching TV. Yeah, we're having a great time doing tummy time. Oh, see, that's why it's another, you're another perfect villain.

So, I was talking about the show. Do it watching YouTube. Yeah. And doing tummy time. about the show. Do it watching YouTube. Yeah. And doing tummy time. And then he said he goes, would you ever like do the bonfire with me if Dan ever left like something like that? And I mean to me, that's just ridiculous talk. Whatever.

But I was like, do I'll do anything with you? Yeah, let's do it. So I'd love to work with Jay because Jay, you know, when he came up, I was in that mode of, you know, ego and I'm the shit and I was doing this and that and, you know, these younger fucks are coming up, you're a pain or I'll pain in the ass, whatever. And then we kind of fell out a little bit. He went and did his thing. I was over here doing my shit. But then we came back together at some point, and I just realized, my Jay is one of the sweetest dudes I know.

Big sweet, bro. Just sweet, funny. Yeah. I mean, and I've always loved them, but we kind of separate a little bit. Sure. And then we go back together, and I love being around the kid.

I love being around him. He makes me laugh. He's always just, I smile. And in my life in the last couple of years, I'm like, I'm done with people who don't make me smile. Yeah. I'm done with taxing people. Yeah.

I only want to be around people that light up my innards. Yeah. And he's one of them. There you go. So when he said that, I'm like, dude, I'll fucking do anything with you. But in all honesty. Yeah, you thought like.

Dude, in all honesty, up until a month ago, I was like, this ain't happening. Oh, really? You thought I was bullshit? I didn't think you were bullshit. I just thought that maybe, and I told Don this, I go listen, Don, none of this is real.

This is, you know, if Dan at any point wants his job back or figures something different out of, maybe they do this and that and they have you come in for that and this or whatever. You know, this isn't a real thing. This is Dan and Jay's thing. And then when I talk, I then I want to talk to you and I was like, oh shit, this is real.

And then I talked to Jay after that, and they're like, no, this is gonna happen. And I felt, I was like, I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it, because I like working with Jay. I wanna be home more. This is kind of a perfect match for me. I wanna be able to say no to more shit. My comedy is the best it's ever been.

I'm getting, I'm, you know, everything's great because of the special and I had a resurgent with it. So that's great. And this just came out of the blue. Yeah. And I was like, okay, this is great. And told I went in that first day, bro. Yeah.

It wasn't real. Until you sign on and you hear the new, it's the bonfire with a freak. That's a freak. Freaked man. Freaked man. Freaked man. and I call Jay, go listen Jay, you're so good at this, you're so that, and I don't know, I'm Jacob, and I know them,

but I don't know them like you. And he's so, he's like, Doug, you, a couple weeks, a month, you showed us gonna drop, everybody's cool, everybody loves you, and those guys have been fucking great. Yeah, they're the three. If they weren't, if they weren't all on board, it wouldn't work.

The reason I knew when I finally told Jay, like, because we talked about his gangfest, but then one day after we did like Tuesday shows and we were outside in dude, I had like, I had spent like five sessions with Alan being like, how do I say it? You just tell him, expect a reaction. Why, expect him to understand.

You know how Alan is. You should expect that. And finally, I was just like, Jay, do you think at the end of this contract, it was in May, I think in March, I think I'm done. And he was like, you sure? He goes, all right, well, you got time. So you can think about it.

He's the greatest. Great. And it really just became this thing of like, I went through a lot of cycles of being like, should I fucking do this? And honestly, at the end of the day, since I've left and stuff, it's still scary. But that's... How do you feel other moments where you like, dude, I fucked up. Close.

It gets close to that. It gets close to like, shit, what did I do? I just built a thing and then I walk away from it. But then there's part of me that's like, I didn't walk away for, I wasn't, I had my reasons. My reasons were like, I know how good I wanna be at standup and I'm nowhere near there. So I need to go do something that scares the fuck out of me

and just go live on the road and just like right and just come up with like, you know, everyone's got YouTube specials now. I need a YouTube special. I need two YouTube specials. I need fucking and I want to start putting out 15 minute sets that are filmed beautifully because you can do that now on the fly. You could film a nice set. What are you going to do? So you're done with podcasting that way. I mean, for the time being, you know, I would probably say, what dude, you have to do, you have to do something. I know.

What do you have? What are you and Shane doing the podcast? No, that, I, I, when Shane and your podcast, we're gonna do, we're gonna do moon cycles. Shane and I do something super hip. When is Dan, Dano and Shaneo start? Yeah.

Dan and Shane's super podcast. What is that happen? I think the next thing I do will be like Will Sovins, you want to Will Sovins? Why are you explaining things to Will? I think the next thing I, I think the next thing. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why you, why you talk like that? I think the next thing will be something like this

where it's like, you know, kind of one on one. By yourself. I don't know. I don't know what it's gonna be. All I know is that where it's like, you know, kind of one on one by yourself. I don't know. I don't know what it's going to be. All I know is that there's this like, you just looked up. No, I was perfect. I was going to burp and then it's like,

I get gassy when I get nervous. I don't know what I want to do. I know I just know that I want to go get. Now, are you going to do? I just want to get better at staying. But what about TV? Now billions is coming back. Billions is ending gonna stay in a, are you gonna do, I just want to get better at staying. But what about TV? Billions is coming back. Billions is ending.

Are you, when are you starting to film? We're almost done. You're almost done. You're filming now. Yeah, they're filming the last season now. But I, I'm filming, you know, I don't want to give anything away. Yeah.

I'll be filming coming up. But it's, you're in it. Yeah, it's coming to an end. You don't die though. No one dies in billions. Okay. You lose your money. Okay now I don't know what's gonna. I get you really ins. Yeah, they got

Millions they got sense. Are you gonna be on sense? Probably not I mean bucks bucks Luce change I What are you gonna do? I don't know as a spin-off coming off with the old No, no, no, we're writing that cartoon right now that I had With with the WWE and NBC So we're like I don't audition. I mean, I told Jay. I was like if you think I'm not writing you a role You're an idiot Jay. Well Jay first and then you why Jay first because I left the show

Yeah, but I I left the show to do this show. You wouldn't, you wouldn't have had the show. True. I would, you know what? You know what? You know what? You're just thinking guacamole. Well, I gotta get, I had to hire an alright, you a role. No, we already had, I already taught it. You were about a role when we came up with the idea.

I don't do it. No, that's the worst when you come up with something and everything, do it then if and me. Yeah. But it, it's, um, I honestly felt like. Yeah, Voss wants to do comedy camp. I'm like just 65. You're a liability.

I can't get insurance. Yeah, don't come up with... I'm not bringing a fucking 65-year-old Jew up the top of a mountain. Yeah, the only way you're gonna find him is with one of those fucking metal detectors cause of all the rings. Yeah, he's gonna try to bring his golf clubs.

Yes, what do you mean? I lost a ring. We got a guy up here and find it. I got a call-bond. You go, the storm's coming in. Yeah, he brings rain erupt. She just makes everybody feel shitty and trashes us. She's smarter than everybody.

She's coded your website to make you look like an asshole. Yeah, but it is a thing. It hurts. It just feels weird. Yeah. It feels weird to shit, but it also is very exciting. And I've got. It must be the golden handcuffs are off you. It just feels like you get to go and be something or go and do stuff that you don't know what it is.

I just have had a lot more energy in my stand. Yeah. I've just been like, you guys want to fuck around? I'm like doing shit on stage that I've never done before because I'm like, I'm fuck, I'm figuring out. This is fun. And the fans still love you. Dude, they have been incredible. Yeah, they have been fucking incredible They have understood it on a level that I did not expect where they were like, hey man. We love you Yeah, we'll see what you got next. Yeah, we'll be there for that. Yep. Good luck. Right has been

80% of that 80 to 85% of it a lot it is And then there has been people that are very upset and like, fuck you. What are you doing? Put something out right now. Why don't you have anything? And those are like, all right, you know, I don't think you really. I haven't looked at anything. Yeah, there's been it, dude, it's been, I've been looking, you know, Twitter, I read where I'm taking a dump and positive with you.

They're like, I'm sad to see Dan Soder go, but love that Robert Kelly stepping in. Yeah, we have, we have it a good time, man. It's gonna be listening. I'm having a good time with Jay. This show, in the boys and the girl, that show, the bonfire wasn't me in Jay. It was me, Jay, Jacob, Christine, Lou, Black Lou. I learned that the first day. I went, oh my God. And you know where I learned that from Mike Calta it's a very similar set. Oh, Dude, he's got Spanish. She's got Carmen. He's got a sitcom cast You know what I mean? Yeah, you're the new you're the new Darrell Darrell or Aaron who was the one on a dream? I dream of I'm Kristie Ali. Okay. I don't want to be Darren. Oh, okay. And I'm Kristie Ali wait, so I am you are yeah

What's her name the blonde one? What's her name? Why can't we think- If I had a producer that had any fingers or speed, he'd tell us. Yeah, if I had your producers, dude. I can't. It's, yeah, you're Cristi Ali. I am. I'm Cristi Ali, you are.

This is bugging the shit out. I'm not going to eat him. Shelley Long. Barbara Eden. Barbara Eden. Can we have a fight? Go away. I'm going to throw a W at you.

Go away, you're done. You're fucking done here. Well, fuck is Barbara Eden. I don't even know. It's not a dream of Jeannie. No, oh, that's the other. We're talking about cheers now. We switched the cheers.

That was, that, this is old man talk. So you get, you're getting married. Yeah. And it must be, it must feel great that you can just spend Mondays and Tuesday nights with your chick. Yeah, I would, I would make sure I would take off like Tuesday nights and Wednesday nights when I was on the road So I do Tuesdays and Wednesdays at home. Yeah, but it must be great that you just home at that hour

We're freaking out about that. Why today? We were like we were doing something today and I was like oh, it's fucking 430 yeah, she goes what I should be it serious. Yeah, she was like that. That's weird And I was like she's like but she understood she you cuz your body's trained for eight years to be like You're fucking you know I started being like I started doing voices and you should at 5 p.m. She's like oh fuck this guy again, but it's it's crazy It's so weird cuz it's like It feels like I Graduated in high school. That's what the same feeling right where you're like the high school still there

Yeah, people's still there. People are still there. And I'm not. They still got smokey, he'll pride. I'm stupid, I gotta go back to high school. Yeah, but you, they're back to school. We're all gonna get married.

I found a way to do the Andrew Field. But it is like, which crazy is when you and I spoke, because we spoke a lot about like you coming in and taking over the show with Jay. It was crazy because everything I was saying I wanted to do to leave. Was what you were saying you wanted to not do to go on the show. Sure.

So you were going like, dude, I want to see my kid and my wife more. So I want to have a show, a radio show. I don't want to be on the road as much. I just want to, you know, and I was like, I want to go on the road. I just want to go on the fucking road and just do stand up. You know, I'm fucking, how weird it is for me today. Yeah. When I went to Jim and Sam,

I've been going there for about 15 years. Oh, yeah, now you check yourself in. Like, I came in and checked myself in. Yeah, you just walked to the studio. I was, I'm an employee. Yeah. It's going to be weird when I come back and see you guys. Yeah, at first time We don't we have to go downstairs. We have to go get check-in

You have to wait in the lobby for black Lou to come get me. I'll come get you. Come get me I'll come get you baby. Yeah, you come. Well, you're gonna be on air. Oh, yes, all right And let's I'm there with the whole show you're gonna be on air You're gonna come back and be with me. You're gonna guess toast with me. I'll guess host with anybody. Yeah You're gonna come back and be with me. You're gonna guest host with me. I'll guest host with anybody, dude. Yeah, I mean, let's take care of the whole life. Let's take care of the way.

I mean, I don't eat around too much. I'll wear my letter of jacket. With the big B on it, with the orange B. Well, yeah. Dude, you're gonna do so much great shit. I, I really have to say, man, like, I can't tell you, something that made me sad about it was really being like, man, this was great. Like like this is a I look stupid because I'm leaving a great thing

But I I know my reasons and I believe in my reasons, but I also am like man. This is cool Yeah, it was just cool to see just cool to make something like that and be like Man our fan base got it, you know, it was like jay like Knowing I remember fucking hanging out with Jay in like 2000 set, I used to open for Jay too, open for you, open for him. And I remember Jay being like, how much you love Stern. He like knows everything Stern's ever done. And it was so cool to be like, hey man,

you're working it serious. I said that to him before I left, I go, you have a fucking job it serious, but more than importantly, you have an're working as serious. I said that to him before I left. I go, you have a fucking job at serious, but more than importantly, you have an important show at serious. He's one of the funniest people on serious. And it's like I'm working with him. He's last week.

Jay is so fast. I knew he was funny, dude. I know it's you. But being a cross from him, I'm telling you, I skipped back to my car last Wednesday. It's fun. I call my life, I'm telling you, I skipped back to my car last Wednesday. It's fun. I call my life, I'm like, Don, that was great. It's such a good time.

And it is like, it's just one of those nice things where it's like, I get to walk away with everyone winning, which is a very fucking rare situation. You never get to do that. It's almost never happened. Almost never happened. And I got to walk away being like, it's still going. Yeah.

Bobby's in, Jay's fucking going. You guys are locked in later. And I get to go on the road and our fans aren't like Judas. You know, they're not good. You're not. No, they're like, hey, I'm bummed you're going. Dude, you guys created a great fan base. I feel like.

And it's like today, you know, I, when I left after two shows, I'm like, that's it. Yeah. It feels like, and honestly, dude, it felt like that after eight years. Jay and I would do two shows and you're like, we just be outside of the show like, oh, fuck. It's weird because I would hang out with you

out in front, see you all in front. and I will put now I'm out there yeah with my cigars I got little cigars I love it so I can be and me and Jay are walking to the store together oh yeah you go to the Starbucks you find out where there's there's two dunks by it I'll tell you everything dude I missed that bacon ranch pizza I fucking disgusting it's actually not that good, but I love it. It's gross, but it is good. It has a sauce. I know it's got fucking old ranch on it So now I want to know a couple things. What's your favorite? Tell me tell me your favorite guest of all time I'm all time yeah Fuck we've had some great ones. Tell me a couple Oli Sadeek

Fuck, we've had some great ones. Tell me a couple. Oli Sadeek. Oli Sadeek is one of my favorite guests we ever had. Cause he just came in and fucking got it. He just walked in, we barely knew him. He fucking got in the pocket and just would rip Tony Roberts. Unbelievable. Tony Roberts, the black comic.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the, the, the, the giant guy. No, you're thinking of Tony Robin. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. No, Tony Roberts. Another guy that's like, John Popper gave me his harmonica. There's just been moments he did. Yeah, like little Kim was walking by and we got her to come in and do a squat photo with us. How did you? How did you do that? You'll see. Jay just does it. He's just like a magic hat that. He's like, fuck me, go see if they want to do this. And then they come in. Jay has no problems about that.

But we always say the same thing. We act like we want them in. And then they come in and they're like, ooh. But it was, I mean, do there were moments where it's like, I have on record cry laughing in my phone. I have them clipped because I had to tell DJ Lou, like, can you clip that inside?

Did you do me some? I just have it in my phone. Of like, commercial reads I'd tell DJ Lou, like, hey, can you clip that? And so I did two of these things. I just have it in my phone. Of like, commercial reads were Jay and I were making each other laugh. Oh, am I bombing on those? It's supposed to be. I had a Hulu read yesterday. Yeah, dude.

Hulu, and Jay was like, hey man, he literally went, hey, you're gonna work those out. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. He was giving me some weird talk. We had one where like, we were making fun of Welch's grape juice and it got back to them and they got so mad. Oh really? We had one where we were making fun of Welch's grape juice, and it got back to them, and they got so mad. Oh, really? We had one where we made fun of Uber,

where we were like, with Uber's sent us reads, and they were like, improv these, and we were like, I don't think you want to do that. And we were talking about stealing kids and driving them over state borders, and they wrote us an email that was like, what the fuck were you guys talking about? They were like, we were not condone kidnapping of any kind.

And they like got legitimately mad at us in a way that I was like, damn this is fun. It's fun because serious doesn't think you're the best. So they leave you alone. Right. And it is so fun. Oh, good. And the live shows rule, wait till you see Jacob on a live show. Wait till you see. Right. And it is so fun. Oh, good. And the live shows rule. Wait, T.C. Jacob on a live show. Wait, T.C. that motherfucker. What is the live show? Live bonfires, dude.

We do them at the village underground once Christmas. Yeah. Do a live live in Austin at Moon Tower. I know you guys are doing Moon Tower. I know. Cause I think it's too new. But they're going to get you a white cowboy suit, baby. You got to go to Justin and not Al's boots, something like that. What? Dude, you gotta go to a cowboy fit. Yeah, I'm so sad we're not doing it. Dude, you'll go. I thought we were doing it.

Well, they didn't fly the crew down there. That's what happened, because Jacob gets into it, to Jacob on a live show. I really like Jacob. Jacob kills every live show we've ever had. He makes me laugh. Yeah, he's the best. And then DJ Liu, with like the drops he comes up with

for the live shows, Christine organizes like a motherfucked. Don't start crying. Well, you're gonna be married this year. I think 2024. Oh, you're really, you're waiting. It's 25, you're gonna get married, you're gonna write some stuff, you're gonna do stand up, you got a lot of stuff going on.

It's a very crazy, it's crazy, but it's good crazy. It's scary. Yeah. It's definitely like, but it's also fun as fuck. Like Arnie was like, what are you doing this week at, I was like in Vancouver doing shows and he's like, do you have anything to do before? I was like, no, he's like, come out to Seattle and open for me.

And I went out to Seattle, the historic Moore theater, got to open for Ari. And then we drove up to Vancouver and I was like, this is the shit I was talking about. Yeah, just like. Yeah, I feel that with the bonfire. No, but I went and did Toronto on a Wednesday. Yeah.

It shows on a Wednesday. And was like, it's a show and then I'll do my, you can do whatever you want. Whatever I want. You want to do whatever a Wednesday. It shows on a Wednesday. And was like, it's showing that I'll do my, you can do whatever you want. Whatever I want. You want to do whatever you want. You have freedom. You need a little freedom. You need a little, you need a little freedom to grow

as a comedian, as a performer. Yeah. Now you're as a husband, a fiance. A partner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my dog's happy that I'm around a little bit more now during the days.

Yeah, that's good, man. I mean, you know, it's a... Do you guys are going to be fucking phenomenal? Yeah, no, we have a fun, man. I told Donald I was talking, I go, all of them doing is I'm going to have fun. Yeah. That's it.

I'm just going in and have fun with Jay. Yeah, that's all. That's exactly it. And it really is like... It's weird where I'm at in life right now. I wouldn't have been able to do this two years ago. Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to do this two years ago. Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to do it.

I wasn't there. But that's what I'm saying. Everything happens for a reason. It's a weird thing that I got the surgery. I got my head together. I've done a lot of things in the last couple of years. And now you get to enjoy it. And now all of a sudden it's like, oh, this is weird.

And what's weird is I'm like, I like go into my head to be like, who's mad at me for leaving the bonfire? Cause that's what my brain does all the time. Yeah, yeah. Who's mad at me? I'm always like, someone's mad at me, I suck. I'm mad at me, someone else's mad at me.

Right. Who's mad at me? And I keep being like, who's mad at me? I'm like, no one really. No. No one that I love. Nobody is. No one that I love is mad at me.

No. Everyone's pretty happy. Yeah. I can imagine there love. Nobody is. No one that I love is mad at me. No. Everyone's pretty happy. Yeah. I can imagine there's feelings, like I'm sure Jay is upset. Like Jay and I have talked on the phone and he's like, do you miss it? I'm like, yeah, dude, I miss you. I miss you like a motherfucker.

Right. I was like, I miss hanging out with you. And Jay was honest with me. He's like, that's the thing I'm sad about is I'm not gonna see you as much. Yeah. Just because he's not, because we're not. Yeah.

And I call the weird on the phone a couple days ago and he goes, so this is it. We're just funny and private now. And I go, I mean, on as a guest mother, fuck, I got live dates, the plug. Yeah. But it's like, it was, I have this feeling of like, I'm waiting to see who's mad at me. And then when I go through my mental checklist and no one's mad at me, you know what it feels like when you look at the clock and you have three more hours to sleep.

Right. You know, when you look and you go, I got, I got three out. That's how I feel right now. I'm like, who's mad about? Oh, oh, yeah. It was time. That was probably the worst analogy. That was terrible.

Right? We had a shit. No, please. No, no, I'm just fuck. I don't even know. Fuck hunt. I mean, fuck. Fuck.

Shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's my fucking dildo. Demonetize it. All you want. That shit. Piss. Yeah. Say the end word. I don't even know. Fuck hunt. Fuck hunt shit piss. Yeah, it's my fucking dildo. Demon times it all you want. That shit piss. Yeah, say the N word. I don't care.

I don't do that. Good. You better back off. I don't say the word no. No. No. Well, Dan, it's a new stage of your life. I mean, it's weird because it's a new stage of my life too.

It's a new stage of J's life. A lot of people's lives are changing. Can I tell you you've made it easier for me? Why is that? Because you're you and you're a milder brother. It's like my two older brothers are doing the show. And I can just talk to you guys. I don't have to be it because I think that's what drives people crazy as silence or not

communicating. 100%. And you just eat your own brain. And I can call J and be like, dude, I got a hang. And he's like, let's hang. I can call you and be like, hey, how's it going? Or you called me? I call you, I call Jay.

Yeah. And I love it. I love the communication and I love like. I'm still waiting, I'm just, Jay is so great, but I'm still waiting for you already come up here. Jay's going to hide, you know, Jay's not in it. Like, she's gonna, like I'm waiting for him to go, hey man, I don't know if this is happening.

Like, you know what I mean? Oh, like he's having a hard time with it. No, like, you know, like, hey man, I don't know if we're gonna, this is gonna work out. I'm gonna, oh, you think he's gonna be like, hey, we gave it a shot. Yeah, dude, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna do Josh Mondays. Justin on Wednesday. Justin on Wednesday. DeRose was on Tuesdays. Yeah. If you wanna do Wednesday, you know what Deros was on Tuesdays. Yeah. If you want to do Wednesday. Yeah. It's perfect.

Yeah. And it's going to be like he even nailed it. Your shoulders are going to drop and you're going to be like, like, pardon me, thinks that this is an elaborate plan for you to just get away for a year. And then you like, come back and like, Jay, take me back. No, it's like, you guys plan the talk to you. You leave for a year. We'll put Bobby in. They'll and they'll come in put a mail will do the nine month thing you come back in that much Do you think and then you come back and we'll whip it out? Jay said he had a nightmare

He was like, dude. I was having nightmares that you were like hey, I want to I'm Like because they got your contract taking care sure he's start having nightmares I was like I want back in yeah Like dude, you know hard it was for me to fucking tell everybody't want back in. Yeah. This is what, like dude, you know, hard it was for me to fucking tell everybody that I wanted out. Yeah, well, it's hard, it was hard for me too when it became real, but I mean, now it's not. Now it's easy.

Now you're out, dude. You're gone. See ya. And I'm over here winning 6 p.m. rocket league tournaments. So see me there on the PS. We got questions for you, dude. I got questions for you. You know, I order food real quick.

What? Can I order food before this place closes? Yeah, God, dude. Okay, ready? Yeah. All right, hold on. What's this? What is this?

Call me Abby. What is this over here? Do you want me to do the? Where's the questions? Hold on, I'm gonna do, you look at the questions, I'm gonna do this call publicly. The last page'm gonna do the... Where's the questions? Hold on, I'm gonna do... You look at the questions, I'm gonna do this call publicly. The last page.

What is the other page? This one's from the monologues. Oh, this guy wants to... He brings monologues every week. He wants me to act with all the people. Yeah, me? Hi, can I put an order in for pickup? Yes, sure, I wouldn't do it right.

Can I get an order of Gioza? Oh boy. Dumpling. Gioza, right? Yeah, pork Gioza. Fried boy. Dumpling. Poor Geoza, right? Yeah, poor Geoza. Fried. Sweet potato tempura roll. Mm-hmm.

That's good. A Broadway roll. One. Oh yeah. Can I get a Philadelphia roll? One. And a dragon roll. What the hell? What the hell?

And then two Thai iced teas. Jesus Christ, that's the flot of calories. Okay. And then, and actually, I'm gonna do in a Coke. For us, two Coke's. Two iced tea, right? Yes, please. Okay, it's in here.

No, it's gonna be it. Okay, is that game for No. 15K? Ah, you fucked us. Hold on, can you get me in it? No hold on can you get me without mute? It's a live Yeah, I'll be there in about 20 minutes. Yeah, I called earlier. Okay, thank you. Bye. Number one, dance order. Nice guy.

You really are. That sounds like you do. I'm going to start streaming video games. Number one, nice guy. Who would you order for? Come on. Is that for you, Ian? Yeah, I'm taking it back to the lady.

Lady. They have good sushi to the lady. Lady. They have good sushi around the corner. Me, I'm really. Yeah, Liz turned me on to it and then... Right around the corner. Fucking good, you know.

Here, the comedy seller bought the McDonald's. Are you serious? They bought the McDonald's. Are you fucking with me? They're opening a new comedy seller at the McDonald's. Like a theater type of thing, small theater. Yeah, it's happening. It's done.

But this is still cool, right? The main thing. They're gonna have five clubs. That's cool. You're gonna have the comedy seller, OG, comedy seller, VU, comedy seller, plus, comedy seller, bar, and the comedy seller theater. Colin Quinn always would, whenever I'd see him,

he'd be like at the village underground he goes, you know the McDonald's from outside, the world famous from world star hip-hop fights. I always loved it. It's a comedy seller. That's crazy. There's gonna be a brand new podcast studio. Woo!

So there you go. Might see a regs. Did you see the tweet where someone, I don't know if it was a Twitter on the screen, someone was like, Bobby should on the Christmas episode replace Soda with Big J. I genuinely was like, dude, that's fucking hilarious.

It would never happen. It would be very fun. I would never do that. Unless you want to cancel, you want to quit my show too. Don't, I never walk away from you. No, what? We should do a regs, like once a month. Yeah, dude, I got nothing but that's doing.

Let's do it and spend, we'll just split the money. Yeah, me, you, Lewis and Joe. That's it like once a month. Yeah, dude, I got nothing but that's doing. Let's do it and spend, we'll just split the money. Yeah, me, you, Lewis and Joe. That's it, once a month. If you guys want that, let us know. Bring the regs back, dude. All right, ready? This is from Mike Hunt. This is not gonna be good.

Mike Hunt, all right, let Mike, sorry, he gotta take my analogy out, I don't know, say it. Mike Hunt. Mike Hunt, I knew a kid named Mike Hunt in my little school could fight like a motherfucker. Always wear this dirty ass chief starter jacket. And then lights gonna do, just beat the shit. Lights can guy beat the shit out of people.

Really? I mean beat the shit out of people. You're like, damn, you grew up with the name Mike Hunt. Ha ha ha ha. Ready? Dan. Hi. Congratulations on the engagement.

Thank you. Thanks for all the years on the bonfire. You're the man. Thanks Bobby You have been amazing with Jay and I can't wait for what's next Huh, Dan? It's a question. Okay. Thank you for that Mike. Yeah, sir Dan if you and Katie had to have a roommate forever would would you rather have Joe or Sarah, Mike, Katie or Jay or Christine? Mike, Vekkyone. Really? Mike and Katie. Mike and Katie. Yeah. Why would throw me a dawn in the mix?

We don't really know. I don't really know about your home life too much. I don't really know how I know how Mike moves domestically. I lived with Vekkyone for 10 years. I love Katie Hanigan. Katie and Katie and your friends. I lived with Vekky on for 10 years. I love Katie Hanigan. Katie and Katie and your friends. Dude, Katie Hanigan, Mike Vekky owns. Don't say it. Don't say it. Dude, it was so funny.

Don't say she cooks better than Don. No, no, no, no, no, I'm sure. Dude, Don's American. Chop, showy. Oh my God. So good. Dude, we were watching cheer. There was like a show on Netflix called cheer

about cheer leaders or whatever. And in the beginning of the show, they say like, hey, in this town with this small community college, they have like a great cheerleading squad. They have a fruit cake factory where they make fruit cake. It's like this town in Texas, right? So it noten works.

Dude, Katie Hanigan was late. Becky Yone, Mike, Katie and I are all watching this show. Mike and Katie comes home after spots Katie Hanigan comes home and she's like this is what we're living just Becky and I are living together in Queens before the pandemic. Yep. Drops her bag off comes and sits on the couch. We're all making fun of this cheerleading show or whatever and Katie goes, huh, talk about sending them back to the fruit cake factory. Mike Katie and Katie Hannigan doesn't really know her at that point and she's like, it looks like,

who's this homophob? Just thinking that she's making for these gay kids on the show, it's gonna be like, pause. No, no, no, there is a fruit cake factory in the town. But watching her explain it and Katie being like, okay, good, all right, I didn't know. It was so funny. Watching her be like, what the fuck?

You girls were bossing me. Yeah, she's like, I can fruit cake Boston. Yeah, I said fucking fruitcake factory. I got the exit, it's 1000. So fucking funny. All right, check it out. So you pick Mike and Kate. Yeah, all right. I've done the time.

I know how Becky lives. I, you do. Yeah. How was it like? Great. It's the best room. Yeah, dude. Really?

It's like living with a World War II veteran. Everything's tidy. He just sits on the, from when the sun's going on, he's on the front porch on a fold-out chair, everything's tidy. He just sits on the, from, when the sun's starting to go down, he's on the front porch on a fold out chair. Oh, yes. Really? I'm not joking.

He used to take one of my wrestling fold out chairs that I got from a wrestling paper view and just go sit on our stoop. Ha, ha, ha, it was beautiful. I ready, this is from Lou. Okay. If you could remake like a movie, a famous comedy special

Who's would it who's would you do? What do you mean like if you can remake a comedy like a movie if what I cover it? Yeah, like cover a stand-up special Yeah, famous comedy special for easily Killin' them softly Dave Chappelle no shit. It's my favorite hour easily. Oh really not even like a close. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff.

They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff.

They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They've got a lot of stuff. They. Just a tip was great. I didn't know that. It was great. Yeah, it was a great album.

Live from the village underground. Remember you guys came to that? Can I tell you one of my regrets in life? What? I didn't have Lewis open for me. Yeah. I should have had all three of you go up. I should have all you three knuckleheads.

And I should have when I got you guys, and we were doing the rags all the time, I didn't know what was happening. None of us did. Here's the, I'm a comic. I'm not a podcast, right? I did podcasting because because I liked it and I wanted to suck my fans that liked me from ONA. Yeah I wanted to build a better fan base for me totally and then you guys came along. I'm like these guys are fucking great Yeah, but I wish that on my special. I had you guys in it. Oh, that would have been fun

I fucked up live at the village under the way By the way go watch that set. It is Bobby fucking Crush it. It's on it's on Amazon. Oh my God live from the village underground go watch it bend over No, there's no this is the guy's name. Okay. I'm working on standing up for myself You know that's why you left the book. Yeah, I got to start seeing that for myself. Tell us the first time you busted a nut. I mean, I was gonna take offense to this. I remember I used to, cause I didn't jerk off like this until I was like,

13? I just jerk off. I would wrap boxers around my dick and then I would walk it till I came on the couch. I'd dry out my couch till I came. What? In like boxers. I'm like, I'm bust inside. I give my target three pack haines, cream pies. I remember I used to. And I busted to a Shannon Tweed movie.

I just jerk off with my friend. Yeah, that's weird. How are you making that weird? I was fucking boxers. And you're like, I jerked off with the dude, you're weird. You were young. But I didn't have any stuff. So I thought my, you know, just the saliva, I formed like a foam. And I thought I was like, I came too. And it was just the white stuff from the saliva,

the friction. You wanted to show you where I'm in. Yeah. I remember the first time I busted, I was like, what is this? I think the first time I busted was in a check. All right. And she spit it out on my jacket.

It was gross. Do the first blow job. Maybe that's why I hate jizz so much. From that. Yeah. Yeah, that just horror, horror experience. See, the first blow job I ever got, I was like, whoa, whoa, what is this? It was like she was sucking the soul out of me.

I was like, haha. Yeah. And I'm busted. And then she fucking opened it, a little came out soul out of me. I'm like, I'm busted. And then she fucking opened a little, came out of my belly and I was like, yeah! But I was like, a hairless at the time. So I was like, fucking 15. I was like, yeah.

You have the first blow of a job. We should shout out. We should shout out. Shout out to Lauren. Yeah. I hope you're safe. I'm gonna shout out Kimber, the white lion from Lincoln, Jr. High.

Shout out, Tiggs. Love you. She might not be alive. You ready? It takes a hope you're cool. Sion Z rage. Okay. Sion's the rage. Sion's the rage. How long has Dan been on fighter and the kid subreddit? Oh, they go. They're going for trolls. Everyone looks at subreddit. What is that? It's a subreddit on, it's a, I don't go to Reddit. Oh, it's like a place where they bash Brennan Shob's podcast. Oh, really?

Well, comics, all the comics have, because when you hear about it, you're like, you know, there's this whole subreddit, like bashing all the LA comics and you're like, let me take a look at that. Oh, really? Every, every besides Bobby, all the younger folks, not the old folks home, all the young folks have gone and looked because it's like a spectacle.

But I don't, I don't know, I looked a couple times during the pandemic and then I was like, I would suck if that was, if that, if I were in his position, I was thought that, like, that would fucking suck. I don't, I don't go to that shit at all. I just, I used to go to the, You never used to go to the ONA? No, are you fucking nuts? Dude, ONA subreddit. I had to deal with Jim Norton call me fat.

You think I want 19 other people call me fat? I used to go to the ONA subreddit when I would, it's bad. When I first got on ONA, I went on the subreddit and there was like nice things. They're like, all right, you know, Sotars doing well on the show. I made Anthony laugh with a lot one show.

And they're like, right. And then it turned. And when it turned, boy, boy, suicide hotline. I was like, damn, dude, I might fucking do it right here in the bathroom. Vicki was gonna have to pick my dumb body out of the bathtub. I remember Lewis told me, I go, he was a reddit thing. I go, should I go to reddit?

Cause Bobby, I never seen Lewis this series. Cause Bobby, you should never go to Reddit. He was right. He was right. Because the times I have checked in, I'm like, like, there's a bonfire subreddit and I'm like, you know what? Just for my mental health, I don't go near that.

No, he meant for me. Yeah, but I mean like, he was like this. Bobby, you, I did the job. Like, apparently, I went on on a fucking I was on a plane Yeah, and you can search your name from the comments and I don't know why but I was like I'm gonna search my name Dude I was Depressed wow for it fucked me up for real in a way where I was like dude I suck at life

For like yeah, three because you're finding stuff that by the way I suck at life for like two or three because you're finding stuff that by the way, not that mean, it's just the way it hits. Where they're like, I don't think he's funny. And you're like, that's what I say. It's like your brain's talking back to you. But Fighter in the Kid subreddit was like A place

where everyone was like, oh, you know, they're shitting on bread and shop of Brian Calon. And you'd be like, oh, really? And you go look and then another comic would talk about it. And you're like, I looked at that oh, you know, they're shitting on bread and shop of Brian Calon. And you'd be like, oh, really? And you go look, and then another comic would talk about it. And you're like, I looked at that place, you know? And then there was some shit going on with Annie Letterman, who we both love, that I went and read the Reddit.

So I was like, it was like gossip. It's like, really? What did they say about her? There was like her and job had a problem. Oh, the thing. Yeah, I heard about that. Everyone heard about it. You just got to go to the place where you read it you fill in and you're like, okay, you know Just some homeless cats. That's what they call themselves. Yeah, they're just sitting there. I don't know man

It's just pf. Chanks. It's what it's what I I Realized like I wouldn't want that like I would that would suck so bad if you found out a hundred thousand like have you ever Have you been doing a show and in the audience you see like three young guys standing like this? And you know, they're gonna go talk shit about you on the internet. And they just like, you know, they're like, and in my head, I see them going, yeah, he's not Billy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I almost want to go, fuck you. It's so crazy you say that. Yeah. Cause I never thought, I look up to you. You're like, my brother, but I never thought, oh yeah, you're Bill Berzer friend. Yeah. They ain't cooks your friend. Like I have like, my-, you, Bill Berger, your friend, they ain't cooks your friend. Like I have like, and my, Lucy Kay is my friend.

Lucy Kay. Yeah, Patrice was my friend. Yeah, Patrice, I'm like, I'm looking at him and I'm watching them being like, he's no Norman. He's no Shane Gillis. He's no Big J. Right, which, yeah, which I'm not. You know, but it's also like, you,

but everyone goes through that. Yeah, I don't, I think, I don't know. Well, you know, yeah, everybody goes through that. everyone goes through that. Yeah, I think, I don't know. Well, you know, yeah, everybody goes through that. Everybody goes through that. But people like us will admit it. Other people immediately bury it and just, it goes away. That's what I want to get away from. Well, because we don't have ego.

A lot of guys deal with ego and like narcissism, where we deal with confidence and self-esteem, because we're always trying to be real. We're going to Allen, we're trying to deal with our shit. And when you don't, yeah, dude, when you live in a real life like that, you're faced with your own shit. But here's the thing though,

like those guys that talk shit are funny. What do you mean? They're funny. Like they say, people have talked shit about me and I've been like, that's objectively funny. Of course. Like they get me and I'm like, God, that was a good one.

It's a good one, but then you get a good one, that's funny and that's funny. Okay, now I don't like it. I love it. I love it. And Uncle. No, that was good. That was good.

Ow, ow, ow, ow. You're hurting me, you're hurting me. Yeah got that. Out of it. And uncle. No, that was good. That was good. Ow, ow, ow, ow. You're hurting me. You're hurting me. Yeah. Yeah, one guy said that. You can only take too much. One guy said about the bonfire goes,

this is my 9-11. And I almost hit the floor. I was like, Jesus Christ. I mean, my God, man. That's funny. Yeah. That was funny. That is funny.

There was people, I mean, there was like tweets. I saw that were like, you know, guessing what I was gonna do and like that stuff and you're like, that's so funny. And it's like, man, it was so hard to leave that that stuff I don't even pay attention to because I'm still like, still doing it. I miss my guys. I miss my buddies.

I miss those are my friends. Those are my guys now. I don't know, don't forget who forged them in fire. I'm just gonna say, you know, I'm gonna come back. No, I'll do this and. Tell Jacob I miss him. Listen, Jacob's not allowed to talk to you anymore. Okay.

Okay. No. I mean, listen, bro, they miss you. They love you. I mean, you could see it in their eyes the first couple of days. Yeah. You know, it was, it was, it in their eyes the first couple of days. Yeah. You know, it was, it was, it was weird because it was like, huh. Yeah.

And then like day five, like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Okay. But I promise you, and I news, and I talked, I told you this on the phone, within a month, they're going to be like, the most important thing I think and for Jay is that the show goes on and it keeps happening. Yeah. I think that's what Jay, Jay is the most important thing I think and for Jay is that the show goes on and it keeps happening Yeah, I think that's what Jay is the most important thing to him and to me too I am there to facilitate a fun time for a couple hours with big Jay Okas and the crew

That's it and you know you will be missed But I'm so excited for what you're gonna do bro. You're gonna kill it You're gonna be doing so much crazy shit And it and it's all this is what I'm glad we're finally doing. Yeah, what LA comics did. Yeah, we're helping each other I mean for real LA comics made each other millionaires. It's like we're so we're sitting around Comic orientated. Yeah, I'm a standup and that's a solo thing. I gotta go do my stuff. That's why regret Fuck I had you Joe Lewis on this fucking podcast every day every week

I just didn't I was like I'm a standup I'm not fuck and if I had any fucking sense of shows are bangers dude dude those shows are the regs Those shows are fucking bangers bangers. I'm telling you right now. That is young hungry lion. I mean dude It was you know fucking scary it was for me when you guys got your teeth Oh, and your mains coming in because you guys all came in at first and you were playing with each other like little cubs And I was a hair and I was just sitting there Taking chunks, dude you came up with Dude, you came up with it. Man, what the fuck?

Where? Lewis came in one day? Oh man. I love that. That would, that might have been one of my, I mean, it's just like, it's just part of my life where I'm like, that was beautiful.

It was so beautiful. I remember, I remember moving here, and you were at a mini fridge, and you're like, I put some beers in there for the guests, in case. And Joe and I killed it. I think we killed like 12 to 18 beers in an for the guests in case in Joe and I killed it I think we killed like 12 to 18 beers in an hour. Yep between the two of us and I remember Joe Well Joe like I used to get in his drunken because I said the fucking give this beer

See it's like I don't know fucking a lot of dudes. I said I'm a couple. It was an hour and a half But I fucking quit and I quit drinking 10 years ago We would do sometimes we do three hour shows dude and dude I remember when new people would come in, I would have somebody new come in with you guys. My God. Chris Gopo took a beat. Woof.

Kelly Fistuka. I mean, God bless, God bless. I don't know how she didn't take her life. I remember one joke specifically that upset her that I felt bad about, where she was like, she made the announcement like I did on the bonfire where she's like, oh, and everyone to know, I'm leaving, you know what, dude?

And I go, yeah, that's the sound of the boat by Kelly. Mm, like that, and everyone's laughing, and it's like Kelly be like, like there was rain coming down on her face, she was like, dead. When you said, yeah, mate and Jesus. Oh, mate and Jesus. Fat Kelly for Stucco dude. Joe list

Lewis Jay Gomez. I mean we watch Lewis create the go mites We thought we saw him create the go mites. We saw him create the character Puerto Rican Rouse yep and go mites right by being like he remember when he walked in with sunglasses and everyone's like and a rabbit Yeah, and we're like what are you doing? And we're like, what are you doing? And he was creating a real-oster? Wrestler. Yeah, and he did it. He's genius. And then when we had, I was, we did the first live podcast.

I remember that. I remember because Anthony Kumio was in the audience. Yeah. When we were at the village. Yeah. It was right after I auditioned for SNL. Yup. And Anthony was there and he goes,

how does my seat feel? Because everyone was going in to fill in for him. Yeah. Remember the first, the why could live feel? Because everyone was going in to fill in for him. Yeah. Remember the first, the why could live, why could there be these things to do? How funny they were. I have a poster in my apartment. I used to get the poster people.

With the one that you did the deli coffee cup. Yeah. That was with me and Joe DeRosa. I was on the road with Guinness, corporate Dan. Yeah, corporate Dan. I was shilling that mud water Yeah, I remember Do we so I mean if if if we never did it back then yeah, and now I'm glad that podcasts are doing it Fuck yeah, and we're helping each other out. Yeah, do we would have had a you know what you'd subreddit

That if they were there and they would have hated us and we'd gone and been like I love Lewis this week I love list yeah, Or leave Kelly alone posts. Oh my God. Oh man, there would have been a, you know, everyone would have been like, do you remember when she was like, I'm gonna play my stand up and then Joe list goes, I'm gonna be nice.

I'm gonna tell a joke just to show you how it goes on podcast and he did one of his jokes and then Kelly hit the cricket strap and all of us looked at her like, you're fucking dead. And then she played that clip and we felt zero remorse going on on her because she took a shot at her. Buddy, we were like, Kelly deserves an award. She was unbelievable.

She deserves an award. Unbelievable. She was a female comic on one of the fucking roughest Meanest mean fastest mean funniest podcasts. I'm talking. I hope she's good. I'm sure she is but yeah, I mean do you guys whoof that was that was brutal. Yeah, we've been through, dude, think of all the evolutions and all the little things me and you have been through, all of us, all the... That's why I love, man, that's why I said, if you go back and look at the history, it's

just, it's perfect that you... Solid foundation of comics. But that you took over, you know what? I mean, that you took over bomb fires. It was fucking rules. I love you, man. I love you, buddy. You changed my life.

You helped me go from being like a guy that's doing some city spots and bar shows to be in like, I felt like, because of you, I felt like a New York comic. Sitting down at the seller. Goddamn. One last story before we, this is my favorite one. I was on the road with Bobby a lot. A lot. And he got me into the seller.

And I'm obsessed with Colin and Jim. Like Colin and Jim were probably two guys that like like I was unhealthy when I'd get around. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, do you remember here, joke? 2001, I was like doing that to Norton the other week and he was like, you can see him being like, this fucking weirdo. I was downstairs watching. I think it was, I forget who was. I was watching someone downstairs on the runner seats at the seller. I just got in and Jim Norton comes downstairs. He goes, hey, come up here, come up here.

I'm like, what's up? He goes, we got a question. And I go upstairs to the table and it's Colin, Jim, Lenny Marcus, Keith, one other person, might have been Modi or somebody. Somebody was sitting around. He sat me down at the table and I go, does Bobby bully you? I go, no, Bobby doesn't bully me. And they go, we know you're on the road with him. Does he bully you? I go, no, Bobby doesn't bully me. And they go, we know you're on the road with him.

Does he bully you? I go, no. And Colin's like, you can tell us. This is safe space. And Jim goes, if he does, this is where you say it, because we can stand up for you. And Keith goes, I don't know it. I just know Bobby's fucking me to you.

Just say it. You stupid new comic, you're too worried. And I go, no, Bobby's really good to me. Bobby's really good to me. He goes, he never screams at you. And I go, he does yell at me a lot. And the table, oh, oh, and as I say that, Bobby's walking in and Keith goes, hey, he was saying you're bullying him.

And Bobby looks me furious. He goes, I don't fucking bully you. And I go, I didn't say that dude. It was one of the scaradest, I'm every- That was comedy court. Yeah dude, but I remember he is, he's bullied you and I go, he does yell sometimes.

Ah, the dude. It's a fat jay, fuck you. Oh my god. That's a big jay, that's fat motherfucker. Call me out, they wanted me to pay him more money. I remember that, but I'm telling you dude, I remember that specifically being like, this is awesome.

I remember you, Deroze Keith calling me. Oh. I got a gig, Psych, Keith and Joe are on the phone. Keith was like, he has stupid fucking fortenitis. I remember laying there smiling. You guys were beating on me like a drum, and I was just like, this is awesome. I had grown up, you're all grown's upies.

Yeah, I love you. You can marry, you're fucking moving on. You guys. I'll move to your neighborhood, bother you all the time. Do it, brother, do it, brother. Yeah, I love you. Well, I love you two, man. And, I mean, this is, you know, we'll see you back

on the bonfire. Why don't you come on when I need somebody. Next time, yeah. Is that cool? Yeah. All right. Can I say it? Yeah.

Crackle, crackle, crackle, crackle, crackle, maybe. All right. You guys, make sure you check out Dan Soda. You can see me live at Robert KelliLive.com. I'm gonna be everywhere at comics, comedy works, Moon Tower, just for laughs, Uncle Vinnie's. Me and Jay got a whole huge tour of Europe that we're doing with the Bonhe Fire.

Ah, fuck you. Oh, God. Oh, now they're all in house. It's CAA, and now all this tour you can have in just because I didn't want to go to the same fucking company. He's the whole shit at the end. They go like, what? Oh, seriously though, we do have a tour that's starting.

It's a hundred city tour. It's in arenas. No, fuck yourself. All right, nice to have you. Just go to my website, make sure you check out, and make sure you check out the bonfire on... SiriusXM, FaxonTalk103. SiriusXM..com with who?

Oh, with Rob with big jay Anderson and Robert Kelly. You're listening to the bonfire with big jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. I'm going to be the new voiceover guy. I think it's perfect. I think you pitch it to

Jay. I'm going to do Jay tomorrow. We just did. We'll pitch it to Jay. And I'll do that. And the fan that said that. Thank you. Because I hope it lives in him for me that I do that.

I love when you get a Southern accent where you get sincere. Thank you. I just want to let everyone know that really great. Like Paul with death. Dan Soda dot com. Get your income. Go see him. Yeah.

I'm on the road a lot. And I'm announcing the back half of dates doing some fun gigs. This guy right here is one of my favorite people walking the earth. I love the death. I love you. And time to go get that sushi. You want to get a sushi for his beautiful soon to be wife Go sushi and go to comicwearables.com if for all the YKWG gear and

Make sure you subscribe like comment robacadolive.com Joe right Joe Russell, right? Yeah, you guys gonna work. It's a veryclimatic to you guys like you guys are at the end Like me and Dan on this moment. I got a fucking say max. What do you got? Max Marcus comedy. I mean how anticlimactic come on dude. Good Joe. What do you got get someone some thing? Jokes Russell on Instagram. That's fun and we got at me Mike Vswaras. We get Danny what? Shut up the money. Breath Danny graph makes you check him out. I got all these autistic kids work on the show now. That's what you always did, dude.

Yeah. Sometimes out of those retarded love the cold comes a diamond. Name one. Me and List. Oh, yes. Yes. And Lewis. I got the yellow is yes.

I give Lewis to do my fuckers of hustle. He's the mother fucker. I love that kid. We'll see you guys next time on You Know What, Dad. More of my voice in the intro. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. you you