Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Dave Attell | Dave is the Best

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

This week Bobby sits down with Dave Attell, they talk about how Dave still has a flip phone, the differences between old school Pornography and OnlyFans, and how it was performing on black shows back in the day. FOLLOW DAVE ATTELL http://daveattell.com/ https://www.netflix.com/search?q=dave%20attell&jbv=81728938 Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Dude, um, you got a flip phone, dude. Can I see that? Sure, if you want. Who is that? Sorry, I'm on a podcast. Who is this? Yes? You have the wrong number. It's okay. Wow, a wrong number even. That's crazy, dude.

Where do you get these? Well, you first have to go back in time. No, uh, oh, you know, at a P.C. Richards or a Wiz. The Wiz, nobody even knows what Wiz is. Remember Wiz? Yeah, no, these are great though. That's great. It's not on the web at all, so it's off the grid. You have nothing you can't do anything with.

Nothing. Except phone calls. Text. Text and phone calls. Phone calls. Yeah. Yeah, maybe if the wind's right, you can send a picture. That's about it. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now.

We're back, you know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody, to the show. YKW, I started a social media podcast. The facts. The YKWD Podcast. YKWD's back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all.

YKWD. YKWD. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God help you ruining this. Where's the bar banner, man? Sorry, it's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR.

That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. Robert Kelly, go to Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly if you wanna support it. If not, then just hit the subscribe button. Click it right now before you watch any more. There's a lot of sneaky little suckers. You watch the show and then you don't subscribe. I don't care if you don't like it.

Just hit the subscribe, it's free. Why don't you give and then the universe will give back to you. Subscribe, like, comment, all that jazz. We have a great show today. I mean, this is, I'm very excited. I was excited, I get excited about all the shows, but this one I was really excited about.

Dave Attell, thank you for coming on You Know What Dude podcast. Hey, Bobby, it's been a while and I gotta tell you, I like this reboot, this new format. It's just mono a mono. Yeah. And I see you're definitely dressed up for it. I like that.

Well, I wanted to be dressed up for this. Nice. And I wanted to give you something a little different. I didn't want to, I wanted to throw you off a little bit. I didn't want you to come up and be like, oh same old dead Bob. I wanted you to come up and go, is he on Yellowstone? I was gonna say.

Is he the new John Dutton? You're kind of dressed for a poker tournament but and you're dressed for an Antifa rally We'll be right back now hit that subscribe button come on you heard the man Dave you've managed first of all yes, you're You're one of the, when people say to me, funniest you, but then I can back it up, because most people say, oh, funniest guy, but you, Patrice, I would think Colin Quinn,

but you have one of the funniest jokes, and I know I've, when you tell a joke over years and years, this is one of my favorite things that's ever happened at a comedy club Yeah, it's you but I know i've probably enhanced it and made it different, you know to embellish Yeah, because i'm a comic and yeah, maybe it didn't work one time and I just kind of said something You said dude And I'll try to not kill it and if I fuck it up. I'm sorry Uh at the the black night sunday night. You remember doing it?

Uh, I don't think it was called that but yeah No, that's what we call the behind-the-backs in the 50s. Maybe dark night. Yes Yeah, always packed like a mo better Monday or something like that or it was I was brief night something chocolate something Yeah, they saw the sundaes chocolate sundaes. I don't know why white people don't name our shows You know like banana Tuesdays. Mmm credit good Still married Thursday's white people don't name our shows. You know like Banana Tuesdays, Oatmeal. Good credit, Thursday. Still married, Thursdays.

Really took a turn here. Sorry, I apologize. Let's, we gotta go. It was at an inclusive show. It was at the inclusive show, and look at it. Chocolate Sundays at Boston was packed all the time and it was just killers, right? It was kind of scary.

It was tough, tough to follow for sure. Tough, I mean talent, I mean Patrice, Will. So many great acts. So many great acts, and they'd always be like, look man, come over. Yeah, very cool about that. All right, but I would get nervous. Oh, I was

terrified. Terrified. Because I felt that, first of all, the crowd themselves were promised something, which was like a night of great comedy. Right. Or no, a night of a certain type of comedy. Yeah. And then we kind of horned in on it, you know, like we gentrified the show and I didn't like... I felt bad for them, but then I also felt bad for me because I was like cracking cracking that crowd like if you did it Yeah, you were smiling for a week. If you didn't you like were basically, you know, it was a real humbler I used to call it like what a humbling that was it would make you question what you do Oh just everything about yourself, but I kind of disagree with us

They would take they would be like man, come over and do it. And they would put you to the test. Like okay, Bobby you're supposed to be funny as shit, you do good on these shows, come over on Sunday, we'll give you a spot. And I remember when they put me up my first time, they kept bumping me, bumping me, bumping me, and then at the end they'd be going up last.

I mean people were murdering. And then and then they went all right boom good night And talent went back up you guys that was great, and they turned the lights up and you go yo yo yo wait Whoa, whoa, whoa they did like a gimmick one more we got one more. Yeah turn those lights down. I was like no no no Huh, and they brought me up mm-hmm, and I did well Thank God yeah, but it was a like that first 30 seconds. Oh was tough, but you came in Yeah, and you did this joke. Oh, you walked in much like, you know you you didn't you know with Fubu You weren't dressed in all blue. Yeah you

You came in you go you just went right into it, right? You go, my father does things people don't do anymore. Do you remember this joke? No. My father does things people don't do anymore. He can shoe a horse. People don't shoe horses anymore. They take cars. My father can milk a cow. They don't milk cows anymore. They just get milk from the store. He can get a hookup pregnant, kick it down the flight of stairs, and blame it on the coloreds. People don't blame things on the coloreds anymore. I said that?

Dude, the place... Wow. There was a second of... No wonder I'm out of the presidential race. Damn it. Dude, the place exploded. They did? Buddy, they exploded so hard. I mean people, you know, running out, like what the fuck is that?

You killed so hard and it was so dangerous to me. And then you went on with your act and you just murdered for the rest of your set. Well, you called me on a great one because I remember so many, that one really was, and they were right, they're like do you think you could do these shows? And I was like, I don't think so, but I gotta try now,

because it was really a test. And I remember one time, I was like, I'll just do some crowd work, look at Talon, he's doing great, he's just talking to these people. So I'm like, hey, lady, and they all, I don't know how they did it, five women, turned their seats around. I didn't even know the seats moved.

They basically got up, took their seat and turned it facing the other way. I was like, wow. I was like, you know, I gotta give them like synchronize, you know, like they really were like, this is tough. You know, I've never seen that at a, what do we call it? College gig. You know, so. You remember colleges, man? Yeah. These are all like, you know, it's kind of good to like, I guess, revisit some of these these gigs that we had to do that like, you know, I was never a big college act, I assumed from Boston that you played away more colleges than I ever did. I did. That was like, that was when colleges when you could make a living doing colleges.

Yeah, a good living. Yeah, you can make a real you may get thousands of dollars just to travel the country doing colleges. I did. Naka thing thing we would talk about that all the time Yeah, I did this and where are you from? I'm from Long Island. So from Long Island So we don't have we have community colleges. No, we have a Hofstra. I remember in the boss Well in the Boston area was always like, you know, this guy's picking NACA and we know a lot of guys together You know Anthony Clark Anthony Clark game allACA, and we know a lot of guys together, you know, Anthony Clark, Dane, all these different people were like huge college acts.

So, you know. Anthony Clark was probably one of the funniest guys to ever come out of Boston. True. And people don't know who he is, and it makes me sad. It's, it is definitely like another one of those of like, you know, generational things of where like, I remember seeing him before he was famous during while he

was famous and he always was just like gifted performer. You know? Sometimes when you don't have to work that hard for it. You know what I mean? It feels like he always like you know like like you know how like a lot of guys like they might be headlining but they kind of still have the feel of like you know like you know this guy's not really comfortable headline Like he always seems like he's the closer, you know, he is the final. He's the he's the act Yeah, you know he would walk in to the member the comedy connection in Faneuil Hall Yeah, I love that club one of my best rooms ever. Yeah, and he would walk in when we were all coming up and just Murder. Yeah, like I've never seen somebody murder I think Boston like when you talk about like hard gigs,

like being, this has been talked about ad nausea by New York comics talking about going to Boston in the eighties and you know, early nineties, how difficult it was for us to break into that local scene. And it was just like, it really was pretty much everything you've heard, like the local locals, and I'm talking about much everything you've heard like the local locals And I'm talking about legends, you know Like the Lenny Clarkson all those guys were still all in town there

Yeah, and those guys could just show up at any minute and just hey, you don't mind if I do a little time I know and you like yeah, why not and you don't know that guy that well And then you realize that these guys are like killers, you know, like there's no following that guy, right? There's Lenny right now Killers, you know, like there's no following that guy. Right. There's Lenny right now When you moved to New York, I remember You came here. It's like a wave of Boston guys came down like refugees You came down we were in comedy and Richards. Yeah, you guys came down and it was Dane then Ber then Patrice then me but before you guys It was Dane, then Burr, then Patrice, then me.

But before you guys, it was, you know, oh, what's his name? There was a couple of guys that came in before you guys too. Oh. And then Galman, Galman came too. Right, okay, well, you guys came down, and like you guys had all that, I think you guys had more road experience than a lot of us did.

You know what we did? We were in Boston We stayed there until we could had an act like 45 minutes mm-hmm of like killer stuff Yeah, and then we came here as the new guys Well, why did you guys come here if you were making so much money up there like because we because so the future right now Because the guys that were there Tony V's Lenny Clark Steve Sweeney's they weren't leaving Okay, you understand so there's nowhere to go so we're not gonna buy never knew that you're not gonna bump were there Tony V's Lenny Clark Steve Sweeney's they weren't leaving okay you understand so there's nowhere to go so we're not gonna buy never knew that

you're not gonna bump Tony V out of his headline spot isn't there was we had to get the fuck out we had to go because there's nowhere to go they weren't leaving that was to Sweeney and Gavin and you know you guys was you know Nick De But before you guys was, you know, Nick DiPaolo and Louie. Nick, yeah, that was, yeah. Because those were the first guys that, they were like my generation of comedy, so I was like, wow. Rogan, Rogan from his book.

Rogan, these guys, I was like, these guys are way better. They're like, just like, they're better at this. Like, they have done different, you know, like, I think, I didn't understand it until I was playing at a Chinese restaurant in Boston. I was like, I get it now. I get what you guys went through. We're like the Navy SEALs. We're the top tier. And then New York Comics, we felt like we're

the army. You guys were like the Marines. Like in the movie, the Warriors, you were the Warriors. Yeah, we were the Warriors. We were the thin Lizzy's. Yeah, the orphans. The orphans. Remember that? Yes. We thought we thin Lizzy's. Yeah. The orphans. The orphans. Remember that? Yes.

We thought we were bigger than we were. Dude, I don't know how old you are, but I would, I guess this is for maybe Colin too, but I can watch that movie. I love that movie. If I ever saw a gang with, with, with Yankee uniforms on, I'd laugh. I know. You know what I mean? If I saw a gang with just leather vests and belt buckles, I'd be like, these fucking assholes. You know what I mean? I just watched that movie. I rewatched, you ever see this movie, Vampires with James Woods? Dude.

It's like such a great bad movie. Great movie. It's such a good movie. The opening scene when they're going into the thing and he's such a hard ass. James Wood is just a little, he's Dan Adaman's uncle. Yeah, it's funny. But he's put a leather jacket on him with some sunglasses. He's a bad ass.

And then it's just them celebrating at the motel. Yeah. It's like, come on, Padre, you gotta blow up some steam. You know, so it's still like written in an hour, shot in two weeks kind of thing. But yeah, I love that stuff. And I also, to this day day when I go back to Boston, since that town has changed,

now they say New York changed, I think Boston has changed dramatically. It's changed a lot. To the point of like, I talk to Greg Fitzsimmons all the time, guys who grew up there, and how different it is. And the Wilbur is like where you play now. And I can't really do more than two shows there.

I wish I could stay for the whole weekend, but I can only do two. That's my ticket sales. But like playing the Connection there, I feel like I really did grow as a comic I guess you could say. Connection was my, it was like a 400 seater that felt like a 200 seater. It was really cool. And it was in the middle of Faneuil Hall which was a tourist attraction so you could always fill it up with your fans and then people just going to find something to do. And it was just like this kill box.

I love the Wilbur, it was great, but I play Laugh Boston because. Oh I play there too. Yeah I love it, it's just easier to sell, you know, it's a comedy club. But that used to be Knicks, right? No. No, what's the one that used to be Knicks?

Knicks is across the street from the Wilbur. Yeah. And it was, that was one of the best rooms in the country, but that was a hard room. That was a tough room. That room, if you weren't on your game, they'd let you know. That was 500-seater, and they would do upstairs

and downstairs. And then you had the Charles Playhouse on the corner, which is like an 80-seater. And then you had Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault across through the little mall. So you'd do upstairs, downstairs, over there, go to Dick's, come back upstairs, downstairs. You could do like five shows in a night at that time.

I think- So imagine bombing there and then having to drive the four hours back to New York. Did you bomb? Oh, I felt like that was a really difficult situation. That was really tough on me. And another thing that I realized is like, it's okay not to know sports that well in New York. There you better know every everybody's birthday.

You better know like their averages, all that kind of stuff. I was that guy growing up and then I grew out of it and now they consider me a pussy. I hang out with my little brother and his friends and like we're fucking dude. You don't know nothing about the Bruins. I'm like, I don yeah, I have a kid I don't care. I don't care about sports anymore But that was like how a guy can like hey We need you to do some like say they go to a boss and guy like we need you to do like I don't know something happen. We need you to about three hours. Okay, I'll take everyone through the spring training

Pick up an hour, you know, like basically killed the time with just sports jargon. What were you gonna do before comedy? Were you gonna be something, I was gonna be an art teacher. I don't know, I think everything I wanted to do has been replaced by AI now. Like, you know, I wanted to. You wanted to be a fuck doll? Yeah, I wanted to be, yeah, pleasure, pleasure bottom.

I'm sorry, pleasure bottom? I wanted to, I wanted to do I Wanted to travel a lot and then I realized that like, you know when people say travel They're thinking like, you know, you're on the Great Wall of China. Yeah, like hey look at me on the Eiffel Tower It's not like hey Des Moines, Iowa, you know, like I realized domestic travel That's what I kind of ended up doing but I've done, I had many opportunities to do way more international, but I don't know, I feel like when I started comedy, which is another like old man talking thing,

it's like a lot of these guys like tried things and failed at them and they became comics. It was like the drain, like there was a lot of like bad lawyers and just like finance guys and like a lot of divorce guys who had a meltdown, and then just guys who like, just disappointing their parents. That's all it was, just like,

my parents wanted me to do something else, and I'm doing this, and that, fuck them. Comedy was punk rock. Yeah, and then it became winners. Like a lot of winners came into comedy, and I was like, whoa, you had other options, I don't know why you're doing this, because this is really a lot of hanging out.

Yeah. Like that's another thing I see with the younger guys, is just like, you know, a lot of the job is just hanging out. You know, it's like. Yeah, like Matt Rife could have been a soap opera star, an action movie star, or a, you know, a gay roller skating porn guy. He's got a great look.

He could have done so many things. And here's the audience that like, you know, the talk about like the unicorn like The woman audience really difficult. It is the unicorn. Yeah my my my girl I get some hot girls once in a while, but most girls look like my wife. Yeah, which I love I love my crowd. Yeah, I could talk about it for hours My crowd is great and all the guys that bring with me all the people that come on the road They're like, well, yeah your crowd really loves material

They love jokes and like they get it and they don't take it like there's no moans and groans in there. And when there are, then I'm like, oh, this is like that early show where people just saw a poster in the mall or something like that. But on the coast, that's where you see all this moaning and groaning going on. Do you see that too?

Well, I don't really play like- You do your own thing. I found out like maybe eight years ago, ten years ago, I was like okay I was watching this guy who had regions like he could sell. He did good in certain regions selling, I forget what he said, selling whatever. He goes yeah I just go here, here, these are my regions, this is what I, and they take these. And I was like oh I'm just gonna find, I'm good at these regions. I'm good in Florida, I'm good go here, here, these are my regions. This is what I, and they take these. And I was like, oh, I'm just gonna find, I'm good at these regions. I'm good in Florida, I'm good over here,

I'm good up in New York and New England. I'm not good in LA, I'm not good in California, maybe San Antonio, blah, blah, blah. I'm just gonna play these 15 clubs every year. And then we can add a few because I didn't wanna, I got sick of going to places that there's no, I don't wanna go to Winnipeg and just feel like shit. Oh, cause they're gonna turn it out.

Yeah, it's like I'm not gonna sell here. The only way I'm gonna sell here is if I do some type of Canadian show with Mr. D's, you know what I mean? Oh, I see, yeah. Or, you know, I just, it just, I was like, fuck it, I can just do this, I'll make this much money at the low end, which pays everything,

and then some, and I'm happy. Everything else is gravy. I tried to make everything else gravy, like, you know, so I got it, you know what I mean? So I could, cause I was not enjoying myself anymore. You ever get to a point where you're just like, the fuck am I doing? Oh, all the time.

You do? I'll be that way in five hours the fuck am I doing? Oh, all the time. You do? I'll be that way in five hours when I'm staying in front of the Newark airport. That's like my therapy, is standing in front of that airport, just looking into the, looking at planes taking off. At least they're leaving, that's great.

It's a sad thing when you gotta wake up early, get in the car, get your bag, check your bag, go through security, get on the thing, go on the plane, get down, they pick you up, go to the hotel, hopefully you can check in, get in your room, now what? Wait for the show, do the show, and then after you're done.

It's a ticking thing until you leave again. Until you leave again, yeah. Well, I will say one thing that I've been very lucky with my crowd is that a lot of them stuck with me. There's new people, thanks to all of you guys, I guess, talking about the old days and old comics and I'm one of them. So some of them come to check me out. And there are a lot of super comedy fans out there.

I think that that's something I didn't see when I first started doing comedy, that it was really a knife fight. And I think you can agree with that, that there was a lot of like, so you think you're funny and then you'd have to prove it. And now I think that when I see these TikTok, whatever this thing that going on with the crowd work, I'm like, you know, crowd work was something you did to save your life, you know?

And now like there are people that are better at it, and there's people that can't really do it. But like the whole idea of turning it into like this, like, you know, kind of like free form parkour, you know, like kind of thing. But I'm like, you know, we used to do that because like nothing else was working. And then like some of us got better out of it.

Some of us got better as comics and didn't have to do anything and people were listening, but nobody was listening. That's why we were doing it. So it wasn't like, you know, hey, I'm just gonna do a ton of crowd work. The whole thing, the whole thing changed, man. Yeah.

So I'll change. And you, do you have Instagram? Do you have to take, you don't have any? I have all that stuff. I don't really. You don't use it? I have a, no, I have Instagram you have to take to you know all that stuff I don't you know use it I have a no I have a web person that like she kind of like it's kind of like an assisted living facility She brings me the messages I tell her what to say and then she puts them out

But I would say that like you can lose a lot of time in the day to that you can also There's a lot of more ways to waste time instead of like getting down to the work Which is listening to a tape and working on the jokes. So I have my period of where I'm super, right now I just did a special, so I need new material. And I wanted to do it short, because I feel like people's attention span is so all over the place.

Mine's 37 minutes, and now I'm even thinking that's too long, what do you think? You did a special for 37 minutes? Yeah, it's for Netflix. I don't think so anymore because I think, you know, back in the day, a special, you got chosen by HBO or Comedy Central to do an hour and oh my God, there was this big special event.

Now, everybody and their mother with the technology can do a special and put it out there and people will watch it and get millions of views. So, like, and you have to churn shit out so much to stay in the thing, like stay in that mix of, oh, that's one of the greats. That's, you know, and guys like Louis were putting out,

and Berg started putting specials out every hour. When I was coming up, you put a special out every two or three years you had two or three years to build up that new hour and now it's like just get it out dude go do it because you have to stay relevant and that's how you're gonna sell tape you can't do yeah I'm a radio you still radio yeah used to be in the paper yeah you used to have all the clubs do not promote anything anymore yeah that's true they don't promote shit. You are your own promoter.

That's why I feel like it's more of a job now. So when the younger comics, I'm like, I feel for you in a way, but a lot of them have grown up in that world of self-promotion. So it's nothing new to them. There's some guys that are so good at it. Yeah, and it really is like, you know,

it impresses me how much work they put into it. You know, cause to me, like the comedy itself is an exhausting experience. That part of it, like, doing the comedy, getting to the gig, getting the gig. All that, yeah, the logistics. Getting the material, and then now you have to, I have to go fucking comment on comments. Right, and then there's the other thing of just like when you said about the hour special and like, you know, there was there was generations of guys who didn't put anything out because they were touring. They were in Vegas. You want to see this guy? There's no tape. You got to go to Vegas

and see this guy like Leno and all these different people who were like power acts, you know? And, uh, you know, part of me is like, you know, that's kind of cool. But in today's world where these guys are pumping out maybe every 16, 18 months, something else is coming out. I'm like, that's kind of cool. But in today's world where these guys are pumping out, maybe every 16, 18 months, something else is coming out. I'm like, it's amazing that they can churn like that. Because, you know. I think it, I think it. Hold on a second, I'm getting. It's an old phone.

As we're talking about technology, you pull out a flip phone. Oh, good news, the rider's strike is over. Oh, yay! Sorry, slow wifi. Then I can stop doing this. Dude, you have a flip phone, dude. Can I see that?

Sure, if you want. Who is that? Sorry, I'm on a podcast. Who is this? Yes? You have the wrong number. It's okay. Wow, a wrong number even. That's crazy dude. Where do you get these? Well you first have to go back in time.

No, uh, oh you know, at a P.C. Richards or a Wiz. The Wiz, nobody even knows what Wiz is. Remember Wiz? Yeah, no, these are great though. That's great. It's not on the web at all, so it's off the grid. You have nothing you can't do anything with. Nothing. Except phone calls. Text. Text and phone calls.

Phone calls. Yeah. Maybe if the wind's right, you can send a picture. That's about it. You had such a crazy big show on Comedy Central at a time when I think Tough Crowd, you, Chappelle, that was an epic time to have a show. This is a good topic to talk about,

which is Comedy Central and how that, I'm sure when you were in Boston, you were a young comic. I remember when you came here, you were like ready to fight. I said this about Greg, so I'm saying it about you. It's like, you were real Boston. You looked like you could fight and dance. Because they were both important in Boston. Either you're an egghead or you're not a fight

and you can dance. So I was like, Comedy Central was so important to comedy. It was like really where all of us kind of cut our teeth. It was like one of those things where like the people who were running Comedy Central were only like maybe 10 years older than the rest of us. So it's kind of an MTV kind of vibe. Like there was comedy.

They were TV people, but they were comedy people as well. So they would go to the clubs and they would talk to us. And then the agents and all that kind of manager stuff that came a little bit later because they would just kind of see us at these the comedy at the Montreal Comedy Fest, all these different places. And then they were like, well, okay, we're gonna do a show with you. We see that you're a road guy,

we're gonna do a show, what's your idea? And I gave them the Insomniac idea, and that really touched the chord with a lot of people. It didn't really lead to incredible money or anything. I think a lot of people think- You didn't get money for that? No, I made okay money, but it didn't lead to, and by the way, I could have kept doing it,

but I only have one liver. But the other thing about it is just like, you know, it's really about access and it's really about, you know, you talk about travel, like how difficult it was to travel with a crew and you're there for, you know, multiple days and all that kinds of, but like, poor me. But now there's a trillion travel shows out there.

A lot of them do it better quicker cheaper A lot of them also have interesting takes like God rest his soul Anthony Bourdain. There was never a guy like that I mean, I thought his thing with food and how culture is you know Like it was really a great concept and it proved itself over and over again So that guy was a genius, you know, but for me in my drinking party show Whatever it was it helped it helped sell tickets, but it also was a double-edged sword, which is like, you do wanna tell jokes

and people screaming out, take a shot. That was a few years of my life. But I would say that, Cami Central, for me, Jon Stewart, of course, all the people that are now like real successful, kinda started there. And now what is Cami Central? Like, I don't know, what is it? Is it an offshore company now?

Like, where is it? Like, what's going on here? Is it an LLC? Like, what goes on? Is it a school? Like, what do they do there? It's part daycare and part daily show. Yeah, well, I think it's daily show in South Park

that run, keep the lights on. They don't even have a building. The building's gone. Amazing. They don't have a building building. The building's gone. Amazing. Yeah, I mean, they went totally, I mean, it's all digital now. They don't need to. They didn't see that.

They didn't see the future. And I guess, Well, Netflix murdered them. For sure. Netflix was like, all right, you're just gonna take these people, we're gonna take everybody else. If you remember Netflix's first hour specials, they took everybody. And it was guys were like, you know, it was a guy with

a dog and you know, who juggled. Really? Yeah, they had Tom Segura, Bill Burr, and then fucking magic dudes. And they had a bunch of different, they were just like, let's just take all these people. And all of a sudden people are like, there's another option, why don't you add another option? It's like, fuck you, goodbye, and they went over there. And then.

Netflix also benefited from the, you know, they got all that content from all these networks because they also didn't believe in digital. They're like, CBS, ABC, whatever, yeah, sure, we'll lease out our stuff. It's easy money for us and they realized that they also were shooting themselves in the foot because... But they didn't realize is that like technology is always going to get better and smaller and it's going to be, you know, the average idiot is going to be able to use it someday. And they

didn't understand like cameras, like the average average I got three autistic kids running a five camera shoot I love it I put an open hold on once and I answer it the problem with this phone is it doesn't turn on speak a phone do speak a phone can you speak if I'm on a podcast right now hello oh whoa who is that I don't know know who that is. I think it was Nikki Haley. Too late, I was getting messages from her all week. She said, she was so mean. So don't answer, that's going to be. It's off now, everyone, OK?

Relax. Now it'll just vibrate in my pants. So yeah, I mean, you're a young guy, right? I'm not young anymore, dude. No, I'm saying the whole idea is like, you're a young guy, you got an idea for a show, you're a young guy, right? You come. I'm not young anymore, dude. No, I'm saying like, the whole idea is like, you know, you're a young guy, you got an idea for a show, you're a comic, you know, you're trying to build that following, you got all these different things

you wanna do, and then it's like, okay, do you go out for pilot season? Remember pilot season? I was always too ugly for it, but I would go out there, they would go, hey, you know, you might wanna go out there, and I'm like, I don't think I'm an actor, to be honest, I'm not an actor, and I really don't think I'm that castable. They're like, hey, you know, you might want to go out there. And I'm like, I don't think I'm an actor, to be honest. I'm not an actor.

And I really don't think I'm that castable. But you never know. So come on out here. You know, you got miles. Come on out. But that wasn't my deal. People don't understand what pilot season was, is that I don't know.

I forget when it was. Let's just say January to March. There was a time when they bought all the shows. Before that, now they need to fill all those shows with actors, and as a young comic, you would go to LA for two months, and your agent would send you out on as many auditions as you could, and hopefully you booked a pilot, and if you got that pilot,

success and blah blah blah followed after that. 99% of us didn't get a pilot. But the, see I never really did that two month embedded in LA kind of thing. I did. I was on the road but I know guys who went out there and it's like they went out there with a drinking problem, they came back with a Coke, pot problem

because there was just so much sitting around. There's not as much stand up in LA. Patrice said Bob Kelly went to LA for pilot season, a sexy Italian, he came back a fat Mexican. I came back like 60 pounds heavier. I did a- And dead inside. I remember doing a pilot and how like,

for people who don't know the process, they got the whole cast together at the end of the pilot and everybody's so pumped. They take a picture of the whole cast together at the end of the pilot, everybody's so pumped. They take a picture of the whole cast, like those pictures you see, like, you know, live in single or like whatever. It's like the whole cast back to back and everything. And every, and they do that.

And I go, why do they do it now? I mean, like, you know, they could do it down the road. They're like, no, it's better to do it now. Yeah. Because like people are gonna be replaced. Yeah. The show itself was just gonna be shelved. So it's kind of like one of those,

you're thinking, this is so funny. I don't even feel like, I want to just scream right now. It's so exciting. And they're like, no, let's get this done. That would be a great show. If you could somehow get the pilots that never got picked up. I'd love it. If me and you could just be like, all right,

today's pilot was with Jim Brewer and Dave Chappelle called buddies that never got picked up. If me and you could just be like, alright today's pilot was with Jim Brewer and Dave Chappelle called Buddies. That never got picked up and we just watch it and comment on it. It would be so much fun to see all of these crushed dreams. I think that's what we call it. We could have a juicer there with drinking orange crushes. I mean, I've had pilots.

You must have pilots. Like I said, I was never an actor. I wanted to be you had a thing called you had a game show though Oh, I did a reboot of the Gong show and I knew immediately when no you had your own show Oh, that was the show you were on dude Would I self-produce that that was before everybody was self you came down this the pussycat? Yeah, the bar one night and you're like yo, dude. I'm doing a I got this thing I'm doing it's a kind of a pile that I'm putting on by myself It's a game

And I was like what and it was very elaborate very thought out a lot of money put into it You put a lot of money into it. Mm-hmm. It's everything but the actual gameplay. That was the thing It's like that cards made I had a puppet. I had a puppet that squirted there was like endless amounts of fluids all over the players they were really good sports you had a do you know what we want I was the die it was a die but it was a whole like skeleton like this was before you know the whole like skeleton thing so he was like a sassy talking skeleton and yeah he would you know basically can is this a our show yeah okay he would, you know, basically, is this our show? Yeah.

Okay. He would come on the players, you know, he was just coming on everybody. He would roast them as the show went and then if you got, if you get lost, you would get shot in the face. Yeah. With a big load. With a big load. And it was actual cream.

And like we bought a creamer and like my guy Ben, who we're working on another game by the way, this guy Ben. You didn working on another game by the way this guy Ben You know people and you would ruin people Yeah, it was like and my whole storage area stunk of this cream and I was like, oh my god And then it took me Bobby till this year to throw out that puppet you threw it out I had to get rid of him. Why he was like I was like, I'm never gonna use You should almost child size and I was like tell my'm never gonna use them. And he almost child-sized, and I was like, tell my doorman to go, I'm bringing up a skeleton. It's an actual prop.

This is not a missing cold case or anything like that. Can you help me? And we're both lifting it like a dead body, like goodbye, buddy. What if you killed John Benet Ramsey and then you made a game show out of it and that's how you get rid of the body? That's more of an offshore kind of thing.

You know what I'm saying? I think that's a three mile limit game. That game, dude, I remember and then. We all had a great time though. We had a great time, but you had, Gilbert Godfrey was the voice, which was brilliant. But he totally. He bailed.

He totally was not, I don't think he got it and like that was the other thing about Gilbert. Like Gilbert was good that way where you could like, he, talk about acting, like I think he really wanted to be a bigger movie guy than he was because he was always so good in movies. If they got him and let him do what he does. But he basically would say, like he would say,

can you do this, can you do this, can you do this? And he'd be like, okay. But like he doesn't get the concept, like he wasn't like that. And I was like, you know what, I got the right guy and we don't have enough time to like get him comfortable with it, so I felt bad that I didn't use him correctly.

But you had me do it. Yeah, no, you were great, so was Ari doing it. You had Ari and me do it and Big Jay, I believe. Anybody who lost or won got to be the puppet for a while and it was like kind of like, I already got these guys here, let's see what I can come up with. I thought it was a great idea and I thought it was funny.

The only part that sucked was getting that cum on you. Yeah, it really was like... It was before the pandemic. When fluids were cool. Yeah, you couldn't do that now. What's the new game show? Can you talk about it? Not yet. I mean, we're still working on it. But I have to say, when people go,

do you ever want to do it? It's like, no. I just wanted to get some... I love that people can put content up just when they want to. But I never really figured out what ever want to do it? It's like, no, I just wanted to get some, I love that people can put content up just like when they want to, but it's like, I never really figured out what I wanted to do, so I just wanted to do something simple and whatever, but this is, again, cost me a ton of money. But back then, you had to put the money up

and then you had to try to sell it. If you didn't sell it, you got fucked. Right, now. Now, you can throw it right up and people, you can throw it right on YouTube, on PunchUp.live, and you could say, all right, it's a dollar an episode, and people, your fans would just come and watch it.

And you can, you're the network now, which they didn't have when you were doing that. I will be putting up more clips from my special, but also like, I have rights now to a lot of other content like that of other shows. Like what? Like the Dave's Old Porn show that was on lot of other content like that of other shows. Like what? Like the Dave's Old Porn show that was on Showtime. Yeah, that was your show after...

No, no, I had done that. That was after... Insomnia, yeah, yeah. Insomnia. And that was another one. Like, I've done a bunch of shows where I actually... Explain that show again? That was like retro tribute to classic erotic porn.

And like, you've seen other versions of this kind of thing, you know, like What's like a behind the green door all those classic films? so we would try and get the original actors in and then comics to kind of like Wingman them and like talk about the scenes and how different they were and it was hilarious because they really are like so many over-the-top dramatic porn movies. Not like today's OnlyFans, which is kind of like, you know how everything defaults down to the easiest, quickest, cheapest way.

OnlyFans is, there's nothing easier than that. You don't even leave your house. If you're classy, you put new sheets on your bed. That's OnlyFans. But this was like, they'd have these elaborate situations, car chases, fights. They rented a castle. Yeah, it was like, you know, all these different themes and a lot of frustrated directors and stuff like that.

So it was great to get them in. And it's funny how a lot of the original people that we had in there who were out of the business kind of got a bump back in. Like they're like, you know, like, you know, like- From the show. Well, I don't think from the show. I just think from like people discovering their old work and they kind of getting offers like, you know, like- From the show. Well, I don't think from the show. I just think from like people discovering their old work and they kind of getting offers

like, hey, do you want to come back in and, you know, shoot a couple of scenes? So I'm hoping they make money now because I didn't really make that much money back in the day. No, but they, I mean, you can make so much money on OnlyFans or- Yeah, what do you think of that whole platform? Like I don't know anything about it. If I had a pussy, I'd be great. Well, you know-

If I was a girl, it'd be cool because I mean there's no guys who make any money on it's really just I don't know is it guys that make money on only fans I guess foot things are you gonna have abs I don't know okay I mean I mean I I mean if I went on you have to be into this and I don't know how much of a fetish you know this is you know there's someone out there if there's a chick who likes you know weird belly buttons and dead toenails you know if that's a thing in some country I might make a lot of money but I don't think so I think only fans like they're trying to they're trying to click they want to get comedy in there

they want to get podcasts they want to get comedy in there. They want to get podcasts. They want to get, uh, standups to do regular shit. Cause they don't want to just be best just porn, but you can't, you can't undo it. Oh, for sure. You can't, it's going to be over the top 10 only fans. People are men. Who is it? Uh, just, I just saw the, we have to get them in here. One's down.

One has down syndrome. That was a hundred percent. And they do erotic stuff or they do other things? Like trick? Really? There's no way they can come on cue? That would be... Yeah, so you know, there's that.

It's like those guys who hit the basketball from like a mile away. And they go, whoa! You do that with cum? Yeah. Ha. Well, that would be that with cum? Yeah. Ha. And he just. Well that would be that puppet. Ha ha. He really would clean up.

So you shot, who shot your special? Scott Gowlick, he also is the director of the AVN Awards where that's where I originally met him. He did my road work thing. He's a really good guy, loves comedy, and really goes above and beyond. Like with me, like we were editing for so long, we had some technical problems, but at the end of the day

it was really just me deciding on stuff. And to be honest, when I said 37 minutes, I wish it was 30 minutes now, because now everybody's doing around a 40 minute special. So I get that the audience doesn't have that much time to watch something, because I know when I watch something, I pause it, I get something to eat, I make a phone call, I do a lot of different things, then I jump back in.

And like, in a way, comedy shouldn't be experienced that way, like it should be like boom, like this is it. You know, like you're at the show. Well you're giving them as a little taste and then you want them to come see you live. I want them to come see me live. And I feel like you're the same thing. When you see you live, I've seen you on TV,

you're great, you're awesome, but there's something else that you do live that is just not a lot of people have. Well, I think we can say that for everybody because that was a nice compliment, but I'm saying like the pandemic. Thanks for ruining it by adding everybody. Well, I was just gonna say that the pandemic taught us

that zooming wasn't going to replace comedy because remember for a while there was like these zoom shows are pretty awesome. I never did one. And like I was like, yeah, like who finds this like you have to be the loneliest person in the world. But there's some comics that can do a zoom show. There's some guys who I don't like guys like you and me. You have to get up there and you feel like that person didn't like that joke you didn't like that okay like you do that yeah that's part of the like a tell experience is that there might be a joke

that they didn't get and you will acknowledge that sure will be in that room and you'll make that funny and then you'll go off and then you'll do a you'll you'll be like I'm sorry that was dirty and then you'll do something even more terrible and they'll let and then you get them into it somehow I think every show should be different or like every night is different especially in a club world as you know like yeah I remember I was just in ACME great club American Comedy Club in in San Diego oh American Club yeah these are all like great clubs from the road and I was like look, look how cool this is. And like, you know, the the guys putting the checks down, you know, because it's like last call and all because he's doing his job. No, I'm like,

I'm like, you know how difficult think about like a Broadway show where they did that and like how cool that would be to see them have to deal with that. Yeah. Like how much fun that would be like the miserable or something or something or the Wicked and they're putting checks down on everybody like do you want another drink that weird conversation they have. We don't take that kind of thing as they're up there singing their little heads off. So I'm like there's something about comedy that is still balls. I know but it's so unnecessary at this point. It's so unnecessary for a club. I get back in the day when they didn't understand sure money. I feel like it's part of it. Nobody's using cash. They're just swiping a car. It's done. Mm-hmm

Nobody gives a fuck. That's a great club with like a pumped audience Yeah, and like there's a couple of them out there like you know I can I We wouldn't have enough time to name all the great clubs that I feel like helped me get to the next level of just being a better comic. Right. Because it's still the clubs that build the comic and I think, here we are above the seller and I like that you put that in the intro because it really is now this is an iconic place. It's an iconic place.

It's like everybody from overseas, like how many times have you done a show here? I do all the late shows. Yeah. There's people with their travel bags at the show they're coming either right from the airport They're going to the airport from the club I mean every show I do at the pussycat on Tuesdays this I mean all over the world Yeah, Slovenia some shit last week amazing Muslims sit next to a you know Israeli I mean

German I mean, it's all the wars. Yeah, right there. You know what I mean? German, I mean, all the wars are right there. You know what I mean? It's a little UN. Yeah, it's a little UN at the clubs, which I love. I used to not like that, but I think I just said that because someone said that, dude, what the fuck, man? It's all tourists. I kind of like that now, because if your shit works

in front of everybody, you're working. It's another humbling, I mean, I wouldn't say that like, you know, I'm knocking it out of the park here, but I am trying to do new stuff and also like, you know, I'm old, so I wanna see who I can follow. I still go on last and I wanna see if I'm able to follow these people. It's crazy.

But the thing about it is like, it's not my crowd. So a lot of things that are given are not in front of a showcase crowd. You know, there's a lot of things that you're like, I can't believe you moaned at that one. You're gonna hate this next one then, because that one is, you know, I consider that one clean.

But you're the guy that most comics like, dude, he's my favorite. Who's your top favorite comedian? You're always at the top of. No way. I made it. You did. Thanks, buddy.

But you know that. You know that. People meet you, like, dude, you're my favorite comedian. I feel like I'm a team player. I think we all are at this point. There's no really, I'm not jealous of anybody. If anything, I feel like I've always been in competition with myself, and I think you get it too,

that there's a lot more to life than this. Unfortunately, I don't think I have much of a life, but honestly, there's the actual cloud of funny. And like, you're trying to capture it that, like, I don't, you know, you're doing your own thing. You're doing your thing. So I'm just a part of the scene, you know, like, I don't know, was that too esoteric or no, that was great. I think this chair kind of matched that kind of weird. No, but I'm saying like these three fucking autistic kids right here, they love you. They've never come.

Thanks, fellas. They've never said, they've never said, oh, you're one of my favorite comics, to me. As soon as you were on, they're like, David Tellez on, David Tellez on. No, I think the last time we actually sat together on a show was at the Skang Fest. Skang Fest, yeah.

But it was another thing that I felt that, like, as the old band, I was like, this is great. You guys put on your own festival. Look at this crowd, like a super pumped comedy crowd, very polite, out in the heat, standing out there, waiting on shows and stuff like that. I was like, man, this is really, and Christine, who put it together with Louis,

I was like, wow, you know. And Rebecca, Rebecca Trent. Yeah, I'm like, a lot of you guys talk about doing this and you guys did it. They did it and look how weird this is. They did that and Montreal's gone. Is it gone or is it going to be re-imagined? It's gone.

You really think so? It's bankrupt. Yeah, but there's a lot of things that are bankrupt. I mean, they might not, how about this, it's gone this year. Oh, okay. there's a lot of things that are bankrupt. I mean they might not have this it's gone this year. Okay. It's not a common. Wow. What about the new faces? That title's up for grabs. Yeah, it was not awesome. But my first my you know my first Montreal was with you. Did you were you on the Dirty Show? It was me, you, Louie, Jim, Nick, Jim Jeffries.

Yes, I remember that one, yeah. That was like one of the best shows I've ever been on. And... Montreal's where I met Doug Stanhope, who was my favorite comic. He's your favorite comic? Yeah, and like, you know, for years and years. And that is also where Mitch Hedberg, of course,

you know, like really popped and really went to the next level. Was Mitch funny? Mitch was great. To be honest, when people always go, hey, Dave, a lot of people take over your matter. I see more of Mitch Hedberg in a lot of these new comics than I see of pretty much anybody else.

They really have seen what he done, or if they didn't, they organically defaulted into what he did. But he really had an influence outside of just the realm of the people who knew him. I think that it trickled down generationally. A lot of guys did you though. A lot of guys coming up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but. I mean look, I think when we came up, a lot of guys did Anthony Clark. Really? Yeah, a lot of guys, because it's, people don't understand that when you're coming up, you're absorbing. And on the way to becoming whoever the fuck you are,

you're going to observe people you love, right? And then you work through it. Colin was such an inspiration on so many of us. I mean, he was the smartest guy, he was quick. I mean, he was also like the real deal guy. He really had done stuff, he was from Brooklyn, all that kind of stuff. And I was like, yeah man, like you know,

this is what it's about, like seeing those guys in front of a crowd, Havy, those were the guys who were working here, you know, so. Havy was the king I heard. Havy was, to this day, like I owe him so many props, we used to come and watch him, even when I was at NYU, we would come over and he would be on stage. You went to NYU?

Yeah. For what? Right down the street. Film and television. Oh no, no, no. Before it became, you know protest before you was This capital to you. Are you for the Jews back then? Yeah, whatever was the at the time there? I think it was pretty much it's always been that No, but you know what I'm saying like

He really is a another guy who like still does it which is kind of cool and you know all those legends of the Montreal Comedy Festival too, like you know, Bobby Slayton and Dom Irerra. Those guys were like, it was great to hang with them. Yeah, I would, Dom always made me laugh. He was so funny. So funny, but the thing about Dom too, he didn't give a fuck.

He would just, he would go up and kill. I did the comics come home. I went up and murdered. He went up after me. He went, yeah, give it up for Bobby Kelly. Very funny. You'll forget about him in a couple minutes. And he just went up and murdered.

Just murdered. And, but I feel bad the comic, like Montreal was one of the funnest for me. I know there was a lot of bullshit with it and a lot of whatever, everybody had, you know, they don't pick, who gives, I thought they picked young people, they let the veteran comics, the, you know,

they had such a swath of everybody who were doing it. And then we all hung out, you got to hang out with comics you never would actually hang out with, or friends, you know what I mean? Like that week, the Nasty Show, how fun was that? I mean, that, I had week the nasty show how fun was that? I mean that I Had done it. It's like I would say that when Bobby was the host Yeah, that was its heyday and the crowds were smart

But they liked it dirty and then I remember doing it years and years later and it was like they're kind of just angry Drunk and they are filthy and it was like one of those were like, you know, you started the show I went I went last time I did it wasn't even dirty. Oh really?. And it was like one of those where like, you know, you started the show. I went, last time I did it, it wasn't even dirty. Oh really? Yeah, it was like, that's actually clean. Like what the fuck is that? Like there were people complaining that it wasn't dirty enough.

Really? It was just a show. Yeah. Yeah. I should have had that skeleton puppet, really. That would be, you know. Just come all over the audience? Yeah. Why'd you throw it out, dude? I know.

I would have bought that for $3,000. Oh my God. My wife would've bought it. It's somewhere in a landfill right now. Someone could come on her. With his arm of like deliverance. Get me out of here. I was gonna say like, that's sad because, you know,

they were pushing a lie there for a long time. Like you come here and you get a manager and agent. And I remember going there and I was like, I see all the guys that would book me on the road already. And I had to talk, I know these people, so I would talk to them and all that kind of stuff. And I'd be like, so what are you guys doing here? They're like, we're looking for new acts.

We're just looking for, you know. It was an excuse for people to go. Yeah, get out. But it was an excuse for us to get together, which at the end I still thought was great. It was like camp for us. We could all kind of hang out. It's a beautiful town.

It's a great town, great festival. They also kind of liked the fact that we were comics. It was kind of like you were- Loved it, they loved it. A little rock star, more like Formula One kind of guy. I thought I'm gonna miss the, I'm so sad it's gone. I love Skank Fest, and I'm glad it's, I'm so glad that something like that is there,

but Montreal Comedy Festival is my thing, and I'm gonna miss all those people. We're not gonna see those people. Just to trash the French. That was great. You gotta give it to them. What's up with, you have this recorder now that you use. Where did that come from, dude?

I started playing before the pandemic, but then when I had all that pandemic time, I could not stop. What is this? Oh, I didn't know it, oh. What is that? Where did that come from? I don't know, dude. What is this? I didn't know it. Oh, what is that? Where did that come from? I don't know, dude. That's from Amy show, a life with Beth.

Well, did you, did you play a rabbi? I played type. I played myself. I played myself there. That's actually in the temple that both of us were both from the same town. That was the temple that we both kind of grew up in. So really, and I just did a fundraiser for them, by the way. But yeah, no, I'm not sure.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's actually in the temple that both of us, we're both from the same town. That was the temple that we both kind of grew up in. Really? And I just did a fundraiser for them, by the way. But yeah, no, I've been doing that for a while now. Unfortunately, I'm able to play all the notes, but I can't remember the songs. So my own Onset Dibentia is hitting me as I'm like,

they say playing an instrument helps your memory. So I'm doing it every day. I So I'm like doing it every day, like I just started again, like doing it every day, trying to remember these tunes. It's like, you know, it's like sad. It's very sad. So how did you add it to your act? I figured why not?

Just the next level, you know? I feel like that's the one thing that kind of fell apart in like comedy and like maybe, you know, the whole idea of being like entertaining people, like I gotta make a point and I was like you know I'm not that guy and I just want like the laughs you know you know be selfish I want laughs and like I felt like for a while comedy was like way too serious right like it was kind of like you know I don't get it you know like

why you guys you know nobody came here for a speech right yeah they got to the point where it's like we're gonna do a comedy show without an audience yeah well You know like why you guys you know nobody came here for a speech right? Yeah, they got to the point Where it's like I'm gonna do a comedy show without an audience Yeah, well now we'll do it without a mic, but it's also like you know like you see these slow cat blinks coming out Of the crowd like oh my god. I can't believe you know this is my one night out. Yeah, right Whatever, but thanks for knowing my stuff, buddy. This is a real Taking me through the whole you you know, the whole thing. So how did you guys, you know,

how did you pick this team for your show? I didn't pick them. Yeah? They picked me. I like that. Yeah, they picked me. Yeah, Joe Russell, who has a cheese show. Do you like cheese?

Not really. Are you gonna smoke right now? I won't, unless you don't want me to. No, no, you can't smoke in here. Okay, can I hold it though? You can hold it, yes, you can. Ava's upstairs. Oh really? Where can you smoke indoors?

All right, relax. I'm sorry. You got a special coming out. Yes, I do. And it's on Netflix. Yeah, oh, March 26th, Netflix, called Hot Cross on Netflix. Yeah, oh March 26 Netflix called hot cross buns What does that mean? You'll have to tune in to check it out You're learning it and it's really funny

The one thing that is difficult is finding a name for a special because so many have done like Netflix puts out a hundred a year So yeah, like whatever you think is out there. It's already been taken. So you got to really dig deep, right? You know, and did they did they buy it after you know, I guess what is it their their new deal? Whatever it is. What's that where they get to show for a couple years? Oh, they own it years Whatever they'll rebuy it, but this is for the fans. It's also for I guess it's for me You know in a way because like I hadn't done something in a while. I wanted to put something out I didn't want it to be long, so forgive me if you're, you know,

if you're bored, because I really kind of went out of my way to make sure that like, people will watch it, you know, and you know, it's not too serious, everything in it is a joke, so don't get all crazy, you know. People get crazy with jokes now. They get crazy, but I think it's, no, I think they're coming back around

with shit. Yeah, no, we're lucky. We're pretty lucky. Comedy's never been better, and the boom continues, as they say. Well, it's great because, I mean, Netflix, to be on Netflix, that's awesome. Half Hour, and if it pops on there,

you're worldwide now. Back when Netflix first started, it was just America and Canada a little bit. Now you get famous on Netflix, you can go anywhere in the world. Right. Which is nuts. I can't leave the country though.

Why? My mom has dementia, so I can't really be that far away flight-wise. Oh shit. That's what's taking me out of this whole space. I thought it was some type of drug thing. No, no, no, no, no. I thought you were gonna come on.

Cause man, I got arrested for cocaine back in 87. Nothing like that. I got to go like I got to be a flight away. You know what I'm saying? Even these connecting flights I'm afraid of them. Does someone take care of your mom? Yeah. No, I have around the clock care. It's super expensive, dude. It is. Yeah. No one talks about that at this student loan reimbursement, whatever that is. But yeah, round the clock, six figures, easy a year. And keeps me on the road, but it also is the best way to go. And to be honest, there's a lot of people

probably in our same generation who are now dealing with this of older parents and having to take care of them. And I'm lucky, because my sister is the primary care, all the doctor appointments, so much work. And it really is like, whatever you thought you were gonna do with your years, that becomes your job as well.

So my sister is a teacher, she's already helping people and now she's doing this, so she's a real angel. I pay the bills, I go out, I do what I can, it's my house, I do all that kind of stuff there. So if anything, I would say to anybody who's going through that, I do what I can, it's my house. I do all that kind of stuff there. So if anything, I would say to anybody who's going through that, I feel for you, and like honestly, it is a hard road. And when people come to the show and they go,

I understand like my dad is going through that and all that kind of stuff. So the other, to make it funny, would be just saying that like, enjoy the years you have. Like I'm saying like, you know, right now you're wearing a cowboy hat cause you want to. Oh, I forgot I was wearing it.

I forgot I was, well I used to, I had a thing in my actor, I was like, you know, when somebody, cause my grandmother died and I was like, it's terrible when you get that call that, you know, oh she's dead and you're like, oh shit, but it's kind of great because you can, they're not hurting anymore. True, yeah.

The phone call you don't want is they're sick. Because then you're like, fuck, they're going to need rides. Shit. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, fuck, I got to take it to dialysis. How many days? Yes. Can't we just get an Uber?

And then they might need it. My sister needed a kidney. It's like, fuck, I'm doing good. I work so hard. I don't want to give a kidney. Oh, is that true? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I don't want to. That's real deal. That's lifetime movies. But she got a kid, Neil, next door neighbor gave her a kidney. God bless. Yeah. What's up, Neil? Yeah. Good for you. Thank you. How do you, how do you like hit it back? Like an edible array? Like what do you Like what do you send them on the holidays? I think she gave them a hand job.

I think something like that. No kidding, this kidney is really. Thank you, take one of these. Picture of her, like drinking, like power drinking. But I would say that when you get older, no one ever talked about this. No, I know. It's kind of like the life we live,

and you got a kid, so that's also so much a thing. So when you do go on the road, like the fans should appreciate it, because it really is difficult. I don't wanna go on the road, but you should also, I appreciate the fact that you can go on the road and make that money. You know, because some people go away.

Oh yeah. Like it is still a drain, people go away. There's comics I know, and I'm like, where are they? They don't go out They're gone. It's done. It's over. Well. Yeah, you become too famous Well, you can't go play the clubs because it's kind of you know, I was you playing arenas now You got to go back to LOL and San Antonio. It's fucked you up. That is true. You don't do it I'm I love that we can you know, like we don't give a fuck with comics. I'll go I'll play this I'll do that

I'll go I don't care. I'll do a one-nighter. Let me just get up and work on my act I'm with you and you're I mean you're a comics comic I know you fucking heard that but you are one of the legends in New York, dude, and you got to check out a special It's on Netflix. It's March 26. Yes, can't get it's caught cross buns It's only 37 minutes, which which I can watch you for hours. 37 minutes, three laughs. But they're big laughs. Huge. It's a non-stop laugh. Honestly, Bobby, it's like a punchline festival in there. Or as you would call it, a joke rodeo. Make sure you check them out. We got a couple questions for you for the Patreon fans

if you can stick around for a couple minutes. All right, if you want to stick around and check out the questions that you guys asked them, even if you're not in Patreon, you can ask the questions. Just go to the YouTube page in the comments, ask the questions and we'll send that. What's the email they can use? You ask the questions through Patreon.

So you have to subscribe to the Patreon. page subscribe to patreon ask the questions and then there you go they'll have rope and then and if you and if you want to come in make sure you go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly that's where we're going to go right now if not subscribe Dave thanks so much thank you for having me and dates your crew there yeah what are your dates man you got some dates David tell calm and you can see my dates. All right, David, you do know, you have no internet presence. You don't care.

You have somebody do it, which I respect. No, yeah, no. I keep eyes on it. You keep eyes on it? Yeah, this is, you know, it's not a... Do you respond to fans? Yeah, we do. Oh, good.

We sure do. All right, good, man. And, you know, what was I going to say? I got a big comedy mothership coming up. Oh, that's a great one coming up good one I mean tip of the hat to Rogan man that place you can't go though. Nobody can go to your comedy mothership Why cuz it's all sold out oops? Well go to go go back to mine for a second mine are not so Good get you couldn't get him. I'm gonna be there this

The Saturday, I mean keep scrolling because I can't read The fifth and the sixth I got a lot of great ones. I got I got Sides putters coming up. No, I got Poughkeepsie I got Houston. I got comedy mothership. I'm gonna be at Robert Kelly live comm I got Lafayette Club 337 you You played that. Poughkeepsie. Do you even like have to drive to that kids? You just walk from your house there?

No, no, go to, it's only like 40 minutes away. Oh, look at your merch. I love it. You want something? What do you want? Oh dude, yeah. Give me something. I'll give you a box of checks, Bart.

You want that one? We should have talked about merch all the time. I love it. All right, Robert, go to comicgravels.com.com, use code word Ladybugs to get it 20% off. There you go, move on. We're going to go to Patreon. Thank you guys. You guys are the best fans in the world.

We'll see you next time on You Know What, Dude? Oh, guys, plug your dates. Sorry. Max Marcus Comedy, all social media. I'll be at the Dojo of Comedy in Morris Plains, New Jersey on March 23rd and 28th. Follow me on Instagram, at Danny Braff, and follow Joe Russell at Instagram at Jokes Russell and The Cheese Show on YouTube. And we'll see you next time on You Know What Dude podcast.

You know what dude, see you later. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.