Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Dumb Deluise

Episode Date: February 17, 2020

We have Adam Ferrara, Paul Virzi and Rich Vos all in for a killer episode! What's wrong with Vos' foot, what size is mans bed and what did we think of the Academy Awards! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de mao, a Madrid. which I am having right now. Do you hate me? Well, tune in to find out if you hate me. That doesn't make sense. It's called Mindful Metal Jacket. It's me sitting down with a comedian talking about anxiety and panic attacks and what we do to deal with it. A lot of meditation talks, some Buddhism, some mushroom, some sex, and a lot of farts.

And a few laughs because it's comedians. So check it out, enjoy it. Mindful Metal Podcast. Mindful Metal Jacket. some sex and a lot of farts and a few laughs because it's comedians. So check it out, enjoy it, mindful metal podcast. Mindful metal jacket, I got my own name wrong. Oh, I hate myself. Give it a listen. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com.

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back, you know what to do. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD is our first time in the social media podcast. YKWD is back again. We're all starting before them all. YKWD is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules.

Shut up, you all whoinig this. First of all, damn it, I'm so sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast has done. Is there any better show? Is this the original? The original.

Man, it should be a little longer. Well, he's the wrong one You put the wrong one There's one that has it's not for the guy who made it is an amazing guy. What's his name? Jimmy Page what's his name? Jimmy Page. What's his name? Jimmy Page. What? John Lennon. Not John Lennon.

Glennon. Glennon. John Glennon. John Lennon's son, John Glennon, made that and he fucking shortened it and made it great. And you keep throwing that one out. That's the dance mix. It's the pre-mix. It's just, it's perfectly like banana banana that boom bam to bump up

it the banana no map are you right there boom but that one more banana no map boom bam pop pop pop pop and you're done. It goes one too long eight banana. One feet too long. Okay I'm talking banana. All right well let's get this over with we got a podcast. Yeah. Anyways there's my camera. Hi how

are you everybody. Welcome to the Robert Kelly. You know what dude podcast coming you who live from the comedy seller laugh button studios above the comedy seller on a beautiful Monday night. It's raining out, but it's still beautiful Okay, anyways Fucking dead. We got patreon.com slash Stash, Robert Kelly, new members, to just get the new members that signed up. Do we have their names?

Fucking, I get to call you a fucking piece of shit. And everybody on Patreon gets to send him shit mail. Pitches e-cocks, to Mike. Fucking balls and everything. Mike, what's your email? With the producer one, not yours. No, no, no, no, I have to check those two or the arcade patreon at gmail.com Don't do that. That's mine. That's the patreon. Oh, yeah, sorry. You want to see them don't I me? I don't want to see it. I'm not lying when I say I get them. I don't want to see a dick dick does nothing for me

You know, we both looked at Justin's dick pick together. Let me tell you something. Justin Silviscock is fucking, look, it's art. What? He showed his, Justin's over showed his dick pick on the last episode. What? Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean art? He named it art. All right, I just got to get into this. It's Arthur. It's Arthur when it's hard. We have. It's hard when it's faster. Of course, fucking, Verzy. He was fucking rather than gay makes me laugh. And we got Adam Ferraro, one of my long-time friends.

One of the fun. I mean, fuck. I mean, a staple in the comedy community. Forever. Never dipped. Never dipped. Went dipped, never dipped. Went up, never dipped. Yeah. We know each other a lot. I was thinking I was talking about that.

Never went to the top, but you never dipped. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. Well, I keep looking at going, this is it. Fuck you, is this it? Is this it? You're fucked.

On a hit show for 10 years, this guy, this guy literally is, I mean, I mean, I remember watching you back in Boston. Yeah. And then when I got here, and then we became friends, I remember inviting me over his, he had a studio over in 14. I still got it. You still got it?

I still got that little, little, little off. Is that what you say when you come? No, I got a house in Santa Monica. I got a wife. They, they, they like, they like more room. Yeah, they like room. I got that little land Frank suite over there on the fort. Yeah, but it's a badass suite right over

their union park. And it's got a little loft bet underneath his father, Carpenter, master Carpenter, came in, made a fucking insane desk underneath. Just I remember watching, I got like, that was before I had my apartment, and it like motivated me. You, one of the guys, I was like,

I gotta get an apartment. You know what the first gig we did was in LA, I was like, I gotta get an apartment. You know what the first gig we did was in LA? It was at the improv. That's right. And like La Braia, something was one of those who were already in improv. And I had a middle, I had a host in middle

at those fucking clubs. And most of the guys that were rolling in were fucking Dildos, except for this guy. Well, I worked with Adam at Leavety Live. And it was right when you You let me come in. I think I was doing a guest spot or something I just came in and you were I was like thanks working on something I was working on something and I said thank you so much and you were like yeah And it was when the special was announced that I was gonna do the special and you go you go

What do you you go? What do you worry about because I tell you I got a special? I never forget that you go what are you worried about you go? You already you already did it You already got it. You go now now just run about? You go, you already, you already did it. You already got it. You go, now, now just run the base. Yeah, you already hit the home run. You go, he goes, he goes, you already did it. What are you, he goes, I could tell in your face

that you have some sort of, I'm like, now, you know, it's my first one and his comment and he just go, you go, just run the bases and I never forget that. But you know, it's funny about comedians especially lunatics like me and I'm sure you're the same way because you're a fucking lunatic. Wait a minute, what the fuck's that mean?

Yeah, I mean, exactly. Ha ha a minute, the fuck, no but. Comedians remember who is, we really remember who's good to us and who's bad to us and loving years later. Yeah, because I mean years. It does mean something. It means everything to us because you look at those, those are the guys you want.

First of all, I think we all want approval anyway. Because that's what I'm doing this. Right. If you don't get approval from your peers and guys you watch, like I want to be able to do that. It means. Well, it's funny to me that people say, uh, did your a psycho? Yeah, I'm a stand up comic. Yes. You fucking chooch. Yes. We're all fuck. Why would I ever fucking pick this shit?

You know, wait a minute and then deal with shit people like you. As a fucking good person who is well adjusted your a psycho. Wow. Yeah. I had no idea. I had no-adjusted. You're a psycho. Wow. I had no idea. I had no idea. I thought you were here, doctor. Yeah, thank you so much. And you're fucking well-adjusted.

You're dealing with me. Go fuck yourself. They were all fucked up. I mean, but that's what we do. That's how we do it. That's how we get. I mean, you are probably the least fucked up guy I know, which makes me think you're probably really fucked.

Oh, I'm really fucked up. Yeah, behind you. I've known me for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it, what helps you with the fucked upness of my fucked upness?

Because we all got a bag of shit. Yeah. Welcome to Earth. Here's your bag of shit. But what helps you with my fucked up, and this is if I can articulate it, and someone else comes up to me after the show and says, that's so fucked up on the same way.

Thank God. At least I put the fucked up to good use. It's almost like the only, I mean, look, I think there's funny people and then there's famous people. Okay, I think there's people that just wanna be famous, they don't give a fuck about the funny. Funny people are funny, whether they did stand up or not, whether they're on stage or not, you just,

you can't help but be funny. It's going to get into trouble. You're going to fucking lose friends over it. You might be trying to monetize it. Yeah. 500, I wanted both. But yeah, but you were, you were funny because you were Boston guys, New York guys, San Francisco guys.

They got that there's, there's a richness to it. Black guys. Black guys, San Francisco guys, they got that there's there's a richness to it. Black guys, black guys, shoes, shoes, well, I'm juiced a lot of pain, funny and a lot of pain. It's great if you get black ladies laughing. Yeah, that's one of the best laughs you can get. Oh, yeah, I cry. Oh, I got this, I got this, this, this, this, this big black lady laughing once.

And it was, she came up to me after the show and she gave me this, I disappeared. She just gave me a hug. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but when you get them not to laugh, who if there's nothing worse? Yeah, oh my God. There's nothing worse than people not laughing at.

Yeah, but a black lady not laughing at you. You feel like, like, you ain't even fucking, you ain't making me fucking nothing. And then they give you that sideways look after you did like three jokes that they didn't like. And I like, I'll try to say something to them, not over here, motherfucker. Yeah, not over here. You're like, they try to say something to me, not over here motherfucker. Yeah, not over here.

You're like, okay, I won't do it to you. But you're garbage on my curb. Yeah, I was just calling this fat white guy trash the whole show. I go, yeah, and you, not over here motherfucker. I won't, I won't, it's okay. I don't want to bother anybody. I had a lady walk out of me. She fucking thought I sucked.

Really? Yeah, she got some and in Hartford She got some free tickets where of course she Hartford Hartford Hartford can I say what I said Hartford I said Hartford in Israel Hartford Connecticut what the fuck you get a bus my balls out of a gate with the ho I didn't understand it at the first It's a fucking Hartford okay hard for how you want me to say it hard for Hartford just say miss how Just you could have said Connecticut. Well, it's in the hard for it. Okay, see see see what heartford nobody talks nobody says it like that What are you saying it like that it's hard for I said hard for it. Yeah, he doesn't even sound like a saying like foot at the end

Mike am I nuts? It doesn't matter. You're dragging an age Mike you fucking turned on me. I don't want you to sound foolish on the radio. What the Oh, no, he said Bullish Blake I have problems certain words. You know what's fucked up is when you when you perform with somebody and you that girl Oh Oh One of the funniest things ever.

I will tell you later. Yeah, you know, Bobby, I show, if a foot's ugly, I'll get sick. I'll get sick. If a foot's ugly, I can't eat. Like I can't eat you eat a lot of foot. No, I mean, if I see a fucked up foot, my appetite, like a foot is a thing.

When the fuck do you eat on the street? Let the beach, like let's say if you're at the beach. You fucked up foot. So I get to eat. So you're okay in a winter. I'm okay. Say you see a girl on here eating outside and she takes a little flip flop off.

Be canny. And then her fucking nougat sticks out. What like a bunion? Bunion, send your crazy. What if the big toe is over the other? Yeah, like it was, but like this one we saw, we saw one that was, we'll show you after. It was and I showed it to Bobby

And I never forget Bobby just looked at it and he squinted it and he went and he goes wait, dude That's not her hand and I fuck it. Yeah, it was bad look like she could hold a cup. Easy You got to go to bed and rest around it. It looked like a monkey foot. Yeah, like it could just grab a tree branch Swings like like she was here day. I dated a dancer once when I was a ballet dancer. And you were about. I heard dancers are I heard dancers got really jacked up. I was a no, I wasn't a ballet dancer, but I did it.

This girl was a ballet dancer. Yeah, the ankles up stunning. Yeah, ankles down just one big foot. You remember, remember 20,000 leagues on the seat who was wearing the beak on the on the squid. Yeah, that was the foot. He's so cool. What is it?

The hoof. The hoof. I did it. My part is nice. It's okay. I'm going to go to Hartford. The important thing is to shame. I did it, dance once.

Our fucking knees were all fucked up too. Show was like hobbling around. I've had a weird knee braces. It's like, what do you play football? How old was this dance? 62. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

She was the Ken Ken. She was in gypsy oh god yeah, she was the Ken can She was in gypsy the musical the original You can sacrifice your sacrifice in the background every morning fucking annoying every morning You want coffee as no So I'm my name. Adam. Adam. It's not worth it. Look at that foot. Yeah. What did you do? How long did you did the foot that I'm bothering you when you don't know? Didn't bother me. See, some guys don't some guys could have passed a foot. I turn the lights out. It's still there. All right. You know, the foot. And then you got to look at it like this. If you if you're

reproduced with you had a baby with all. So you're just so this were you in a relationship with them. No, no, no, what are you a Viking? No, I'm saying like you then your kids got What are you? Listen, I always dream my son will be a field goal. Okay Like a very promise my dad versus a Spartan his kid comes out with one defect he throws him the back out by Fucking logs. Let me see that thing lift him up daddy loves you get any iceberg You did this You and your foot in a half oh That's gross. Yeah, what about the Tarantino movie once upon a time in Hollywood when she's driving in the car

And she has her feet has her feet up on the windshield Because Tarantino has a foot thing good. He does. Yeah, he murdered every ever what I put in the word once and it is auto field the rest of that Yeah, he's got a foot thing dude. He does? Yeah, he murdered every, every, what? I put in the word once and it is auto-filled the rest of that. Yeah, he's got a foot thing dude. Every movie, there it is right there. Look at the bottom of that. Oh, look at that, all yellow. 30. Yeah, but she's an actress.

Get it done. Cool props. Get some soap. No, but she was supposed to be a, she was supposed to be a dirty hip. Yeah, but not like that. Not that tippy dude. Look at that. That's like, well, she walking on curry supposed to be a dirty hip. Yeah, but not like that, not that tippy, dude. Look at that.

That's like, well, she walking on curry. There's a nugget. Look at the nugget on the left one, Paul. Look at the nugget, right there. I saw it. Look at the nugget. You'll never read again. Look at that nugget.

And look at that nugget, right there. He's pointing out the nuggets. Yeah. Get that face. No, Terrentino did it because he had Uma Thurman walking barefoot. He's got the model, like a Samuel Jackson. Give him a foot rub, man. He's got a foot thing, man. Every, and actually Pitt mentioned it at the sag,

no, the golden gloves. Did he? Yeah, he said he's got a foot. He said something about, what do you say? He said something about, he likes feet. He's got a foot fetish. Yeah, he's got a foot fetish. And this movie, there's the other one.

Look at those dirty feet right there. That's on the hottest chicken Hollywood. Look at our dirty feet. Isn't that weird? Yeah, that is. Like why wouldn't you clean that up? I think it's supposed to be like that, it's a movie. Yeah, but it's a gazillion dollar fucking movie. She went into theater with shoes on. She's a movie star. That's Sharon Tate. And they put her on screen with fucking mud feet. Like she was in a paca-lip-dough. I mean, you can't clean that up, that's a thing.

That's a fucking thing, he makes us. It's dirty feet. I think it's dirty feet. That's fucking gross. That looks like she was fucking. I don't like it. I don't like a nookin on the foot. I don't like the baby toe when the baby toe's dead.

Yeah. When it's just mushed. Yellow nail. Yeah, the yellow bottom, the baby toe's dead. Yeah. When it's just mushed. Yellow nail. Yeah, the yellow bottom. You got good feet, Gap. No. Wow.

I have big feet. I'm a tall girl. Yeah, I know. I can feel her energy as we were doing this. She was like, Yeah, can we talk about something else? Yeah, can we talk about something else? Like, if you guys thought it's-

I have big feet. I'm on the back. Are they proportioned or just big? Yeah, I'm a big girl. Don't be. Slip your podcast in. I did not mean to do that, but you just did. I know, I did for you. I'm on the back. Are they proportioned or just big? Yeah, I'm a big girl. Don't slip your podcast in. I did not mean to do that, but you just did. I know I did for you.

I love it. Which one is it? Is it the piggy head roast beef? Which one is fucked up the toe? No, they're just big. Did I see one? No. I'm not thinking much about you.

I'm not thinking much about you. You want to lose some weight? Look at a feet. Yeah, yeah. Is it bad? Is it bad? Is it bad? Is it bad? You have shoes on. I just want to see how big your foot is.

I have giant shoes on. I'll take my. Yeah. Oh, you're the best. Let's look at the holy shit. That's not a big foot. That's not. Yeah.

If you're fucking in the NBA, it's not. Fuck you talking about Larry Bird at small. That's what you're talking about. The foot on where it's the webbing between the toes. Look at that. That's that fucking thing. You know, she can'tbing between the toes. Look at that, that fucking thing. You know, she can't walk in the woods. People think they fucking found a yeti.

They're earth shakes. People fill that thing with cement and bring it back to the fucking National Geographic. With me, I don't care, small big. I just can't have it fucked up. All right. Really, yeah, I can't have it fucked up. I don't give a fuck about a big foot.

I dated a big foot girl, but Nuggets and dirty feet. If you get a dirty foot, get the fuck out of here. And moles. She's an easy thing to add. I don't like a mole. Excuse me. Excuse me. Look, yours is cute.

But if it was on my wife, I made my way for a move one. Yours is good. Yeah, she had a Nugget right here. I said, it's risen. You got to take it off. It's risen. It's risen. Like you thought.

Wait a minute. Did she take it off in three days of the comeback? I said, you made her do that. I said, if it's got a shadow, you got to get it off. What about Marilyn Monroe? Fucking horseshit. She could wipe it off. She put that on her makeup. I know. I don't mind a beauty mark. And I don't mind. Like, he's got a little cute one right there. I don't mind that, but my wife had a nugget. It's like, you know what I mean? Like you know the nuggets. Yeah. You could like you could kind of like it was basically it was a growth like a speed bag. You could hit it up All for it moved. Well hers didn't move, but it was risen. I was gonna get that you got to take that if we're gonna go any further

And I didn't say that of course I got to land that fuck that fucker down I said hey babe. What's that thing? She's a god. It's just a thing. Oh, so you were a gentleman about it. Hey babe. What's that thing? Did you point from of course the room when company was over to Don Juan? Hey, babe, what's that thing? Hey babe. What's that? You might have said that. How are you a tumor still on? Not those you fucking scumbag not that a brown one. It was like a you're a painter? Still on. Not those, you fucking scumbag. Not that, a brown one. It was like a beauty mark.

Like, okay, it was like that one right there. That's gotta go. That's fucking cancer. That's shit of the kids, old man. Now that's a baby gun injury. Look, it was right here on the little thing. You know who's got one? Batman. Who's got one? Batman.

Who's got to play Batman? Christian Bill. Five of them. Christian B- Who's the best one? Who's the guy? Who's the guy? He Christian Bale has a guy.

Who's the guy? Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne. I think his name was Bruce. It's gonna be a hardware to get through with you two fucking waps. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Ah. Oh. Right here. He's bring up. You all right? Was it Christian bail? Oh, Christian bail has a nugget in here, and he won't get rid of it. And I kind of respect it, but I understand it, but still it's, uh, it's a little fucking like Don had to get her as remote.

See it right there. Where? Don't have what it is. She had one of those. I never knew that until this. I noticed, buddy, it's my thing. I noticed Denzel's fucked up pinky. Nobody noticed it.

You ever see Denzel's fucked up pinky. Bring it up. No. When were you and why were you watching him? When did you notice that? I noticed everybody's fucking weird flaw. Why do you think that is? Because I fucking look for them

because I need you to be down on earth with me. And when Denzel had a fucked pink it was like he's one of us. No look at it. No, look at it Click it click it look at it. There it is. Oh, that's his fucked up pinky. No, how did nobody know? He just got a fucking photo. He just no dude. He look at it. It's fucked up. He just got it fixed fucked up It looks like an alien. I mean, I didn't nobody see that. Yeah, he's got a fucked up pinky Yeah, how did nobody see that? Yeah, dude, is he doing that? Oh, he got it fucked up. It got broke and then that's it And I used to notice it nobody got broke what around a corner. Yeah, I don't I'm not in the cast or just I'm not a fucked up Finger-picking researcher might have got some well, how did this happen? I'm inquisitive. I didn't I just just knew he did it. And if, look at, there it is. It's fucked up. You got to fix though. That's the fix. There it is. It's in movies and it's fucked up. So you do that because you do that

because- Don't take her thing. What? You jumping on her thing? No, what did she say? You got to break me down like something- No, no, no, no, why did she say? She was trying to do that girl thing where she breaks me down. Why do you think you do that because you really hate yourself? Why does that have to be a girl thing because it does because you get it girl thing. It's a big foot thing All right, you're yeti Everybody rich bosses here. How's it going? How you making out? How you doing? How you making out? What is it? What do you want? What do you want? How you making out rich voice makes in a way? How you making out? How you making out? You said it You said how you doing? He goes fine. You went you went further than you want to my show? How you making out rich voice makes in a Hey, how you making how you making out?

You said it you said how you doing he goes fine You went you went further than you had to no I went how you making out how you making out what with life You fucking asshole. Why are you so angry out of the game? Because you're coming at me all I do was say to an old pal how you making out? Yeah, but with with none of the no-fine content and and content you just went how you making out nobody uses that except for old people Oh really well. I'm old We're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom.

You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom.

You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom.

You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom. You're not in a phone, Tom She went on the kid where you should go. Stop making noise in front of the microphone because it's going, yeah. God is useless. Fuck it. So, God damn it, Michael. So, she was gone all the time. His microphone to his IQ. She was in LA all last week and I was home.

And then this, just left. And I was home, so I said, I'm going to come in. I'll look at this. Do you have any most of the sound of cows sleeping? That was just too mean And I've lost weight so fuck off. Yeah good Good. Oh, you're in a good mood. I've glad you came up. I'm in a great mood. I'm in a quick I get the number tonight. I'm in a good mood. What you went 15? No, five seventy What number pick three he does this he this is the big three

I just say what he was five seventy he looked at me verzy six dirty my birthday. Do you generate the number or do you have it? I pick it I play all my kids birthday some me and my wife's birthday hanging out with him as I guess 1982 and I'm hanging out with my friends fathers. He's gonna stop. He's gonna gamble plays numbers He's got to get a fucking newspaper. He's gonna fucking do the horses Number all right good for you. All right, you feel it. Hey, hey guys. I'll see you down at the club later You're fucking fuck suck He's hit the number, but he's he's spent three thousand weeks. He's spent spent. Hey, go fuck your son. My rage knows no fucking boundaries. I didn't spend. I play every week. No, every day,

every, oh, much better. What is it? What is it? What are you? No, a, a, a, a, a, how much do I spend a day? Yeah. The pencil. I win or lose. He spent he spent I guarantee he spent five something a week if you sit for five seven years, you're gonna put that back in you know, I'll play tomorrow. I'll play like $50 more so $50 tomorrow. I guarantee he spends like maybe 800 a week on fucking scratches. No, I've I've toured with you. He'll lie to you and go do that, I gotta go to the bathroom. I love boss at the casino when we were in Vegas. He's like, yeah, I went home, I was gonna go up but I stopped at the table for, I'm up to 30. Ha ha ha.

Crap's, listen to me, that's the crack of gambling. I went to school on a hot eight, my mother hit a hot eight. He's into best, hard numbers. It's like when a Crap table's rolling. It's like your Frankenstein village. It's like that's burned amongst it. I'm telling you, when the crap table's hot, the head of the clan is high five and far apart.

Oh yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Where else am I going to get a heart-eating life? No-one else. No-one else. My mother would yell, we go down with Lanark City. I used to like going in Joey's Monty Carlo because we had no money for the room.

And Joey's Monty Carlo. because we had no money for the room. And Joey's Monty Carlo. I forgot watching a, when you put him in the pool. He said it like we all knew Joe. Well, he was God rest his soul. When you go to LA, you're going about LA, LA, in the city, we drive down it. And because the head rest came out, Mike, we'll get some mad dogs, 2020, and that car.

Sleep in the car. And if you had no money, if you only had like $10, you go eat at the Baltimore Grill, have the fucking white house. You got a cheese steak at the white house and you can't. Yeah, you bring your thunderbird down to the fucking driving. Will you hold on?

I used to play Quick Draw at bowling Alice. You're like, I've got to play it all. My mother would yell at me. You drove all the way down to Atlantic City, went to a crap table and you didn't buy the four. Why don't you buy the four? Eighth double. The fuck on it.

The idiot that I raised. You got to buy the four and ten months ago. Yeah. Yeah. We went down and I had a car. It had no, no back panel. Like you could see into the trunk. Yeah.

By the back seat. You had no back panel whatsoever by the trunk. And we pull up in, in valet. For me, my friend, in this car like car like where high rollers we had a hundred bucks each we must have lost it in five minutes we're calling everybody to wire us money everybody we're the craft they we hit we get paid in 20 foot out of the green ones the 20 foot out of the ship and we're like society chip with yelling like like we just won everything we get a 20 foot out of the chip so many at the table and I threw my I went fuck do my arms up and right when I did it

It was a waitress with a big tray of drinks Mm-hmm, and I just fucking threw all the drinks whenever you wear Go tough. I'm losing you said tough. Yeah, what am I gonna do? So I said sorry. Yeah, you say sorry Yeah, I said sorry. I didn't say tough. Why are you getting mad at me? I'm not the fucking waitress. I'm just asking You remind me of the waitress white what? He was cute Nice That's nice put a bed on the table for him see me and nickel split put the boys on the y'all we got a shoot a coming out

I just tell you about this fucking guy first of all He's hosting this weekend. He brings us up, except for me, you dig do good. The last show, you dig good. I do good every show for you. No, it is, Colin Quinn, you bring Colin up, doing us a huge favor. The Scott Sacker brings Colin up.

He goes, Jim Florentine had a cancel, he's sick, so we had a, who's, we're like, who would be available on a Saturday night? Cause it's a big night for most comedians And he goes, listen, John, I mean give it a go. We got to the letter cues That's actually funny That's great. He knew I was good. He didn't care That's not that's in care about that shit

Then he comes up to me he goes, do you mind if I bring Ron up, the guy you came to see? Is that gonna fall? Benning till every night. Benning kills. Benning kills. But I fuck. Yeah, you slaughter. Dude, he gets a standing ovation.

I go on and get a standing ovation. Two standing ovation same show. Never fucking happens. Yeah, ever. There's two people that don't get standing ovation. What are you gonna do? First of all, I know. I walk out cold and I fucking get them right from the beginning.

I've been on, let's say, listen to me. Don't, don't, don't, don't, I mean, Captain Hook comes. Listen to me. How many shows have we done about say 20, right? We've done 20. So I've been on stage 80 times. I hate you.

No, no, hold on 80. You do the man. I'm 80 for 80. This tomorrow you. Hey, don't know what I'm holding. Oh, you do the man. I'm 80 for 80. So you got a bet. This tomorrow, bet 20, bet 80. Okay. I'm going to play 28. But I'm fucking 80 for 82.

No, you don't go up 80. If you only been up 20 times, I go up four times in night, Bobby. And every two of you. You are 80, 80. Have you ever seen me have a bad set? Ever. Never.

Okay. And I never see you have one either. Okay, you kill. Thanks. We all kill. Okay, we all kill. And that's because it's just where we're seasoned pro. This is why I hate the math. He does because he does it by himself.

Don't I just did it with you? Show all work. You want what he does it in his car. Nobody goes, I've done the 20 shows. I've been up to, at 80 shows, I fucking killed. No, I do. I've done the 20 shows. I've been up to 80 shows. I fucking killed. No, I do. I don't kill every set.

And he waits to have this conversation. Yeah, that's what I drove into New York for. Let me tell you something. You know, let me tell you something. Listen to me and you're listening because everybody listens when you're talking to somebody. First of all, you get a first of all, no third of all, by the way, barely a second of all. He just likes saying first of all. And then he lays into this fucking fun fact and you're like, of all, no third of all by the way, barely a second of all. He's just like saying first of all.

And then he lays into this fucking fun fact and you're like, all right, fine. Remember him at the Rio at the seller? He'd go, you know, every fucking night, I got a fucking close this and everybody's killing and I got to do it. And then all of a sudden he'd get off and he'd be like, I think I'll follow you, hacks. I had to follow him, Bobby and Keith. Yeah, that's a thousand. I mean, I'm a big guy. I had to follow Lenny Clark and Leary for three years.

You had to follow them? I closed the rescue me comedy door every fucking year. No, after Lenny, you had to close it? Yeah, really. After Leary. Dennis would go up through a half hour. Right. Then Kenny Rajson goes up.

No, him too. Kenny, then there's a song. Then there's Lenny. Then there's another song. Then there's a song then his Lenny then there's another song and his mate what you follow yeah bring it home yeah but that's really follow the show the great show I replaced you one night yes you did and that's how I fucking kind of hooked up

a lyric no you hooked up with it's a better story can you fucking do this story oh I'm sorry I didn't know the truth was a problem. Wait, why wouldn't Lenny close it? Why wouldn't Lenny or Lenny? I mean, you killed. Why can we close it? Why? Because the skinny Irish fuck said you're closing, and that's why. Yeah, dude. Oh, I wouldn't put my foot down. Yeah, but it's actually... You wouldn't be a lot of the time.

And nobody would have heard that little foot. Now, Gabby puts a foot down. Yeah, the fucking house shagging. And it rains. Yeah. Put the mayor thinks there's another attack. I actually, I think that was a great show. And I did meet Leary on the.

You did a great job because it was just you and Dennis. Me, that no, Leary was there in. It's you and Dennis because that was the, that was, we did that show, Larry was there, is? It's you and Dennis, because that was, we did that show. There was always one episode, which is just, it was it's you two for the whole show. Yeah, you were fucking great. That was a good, that was,

but here's the fucking, my name. He's the sweetest. Here's the thing with that thing, right? When you book something like that, you really, you have these, just these delusions of this is it. Oh yeah. And I remember having that being in the trailer,

and in my head I was like, he's gonna fucking have Luis come back to New York and I'm going to be, I'm a detective, I'm going to the Academy, I had this whole thing set up in my head. That I was fucking first. No, it's just because it's what we do. I just, I didn't know.

I mean, you had the movie right, Rick. I didn't have sort of criminal minds last year. Are they gonna bring me back? I was a criminal. I was the criminal. Once they saw me, in the case, I'm done. But in my head, I'm like, I'm gonna change. They're gonna bring me.

No. I was so sure that it was gonna happen. And then, that was then 9-11 happened. Literally the first day of shooting. Oh wow. But you still shot it, you were great. We shot it and then we came back and shot it, but there was definitely a,

there was definitely a different tone on the set. I don't think it was anything you did. No, it was not what I did, but it was definitely a, there was definitely a different tone on the set. I don't think it was anything you did. No, it was not what I did, but it was definitely a different tone. And then the show got canceled. Great show, boss. Vaughn, the fucking job. Yeah, great show.

Vaughn, if you could do the job or rest to me, which one you have picked. What is Chris Rockney? If there were both of the money, they were both the money. Same money, same money, but they were both gonna go as long as they did to me They were extensions of the show. What are you doing? Have a side podcast your fucking cock just go downstairs

We're having a fucking podcast. This isn't you a fucking side conversations with this not an a meeting You're fucking old stop yelling it. No because he starts yet. This is what he does He's my buddy. I don't give a shit. There's no need to yell you get angry at you not him not him not him Definitely him sometimes him. I'll fuck that. I never get mad at you. Oh, sorry. Yeah guy. I mean do a new studio I like your table. It's just I like to know what you're doing boss. I like you treat me What you just what you do you you fuck up and then you do compliments and then you're gonna slam me I'm not gonna slam you. I like your table here comes Nice thanks

Anyways, we were having a good conversation. What's the wallet like that? No, no, I'm just curious because oh Don't have any side questions. He's still talking out. This is part of the podcast. The wallet. Well, he's asking a question we can put out. We can talk. You're doing a fucking another podcast. Why your glasses facing that angle? Because it's got a secret camera. And it's called the dickhead camera.

And I'm watching you. Oh, that's my. Why? Do you know what? Because Mike texted me stuff during the show. Who does? Mike. And I text him stuff.

So if the Mike's a hot or something needs to be put up, he just does it. You know what I mean? Do you do any more stuff in your life? I like it a lot. I'd endure. Well, the doors are close. We're getting rugs up here. Orient rugs. We're getting all new chairs. We're getting actually a custom table being built. These are going to go over there. That's all going to be sectioned off. So you'll be able to see Zach, no, you'll be able to see any of that bullshit and then on the wall We're gonna have all kinds of the shows up on the walls and then in the back Yeah, would you have these leather chairs or buy them from you? No, geez right here to red one

No, what are you gonna do with them? They're not mine. Who's are they? They're fucking nobs find out I'll buy it. Well, I think they're gonna stay in the studio. Look at him. He hit one number. He's buying furniture Yeah, but he doesn't buy it just buy like buying. You then? Yeah. It's Joe DeRosa. Did we get that thing in? You want to talk to Joe? Yeah. Hey, Joe, you're alive on the YKWD Adam Ferrara Paul Versey and, um, Rich Voss. Sorry. I know.

That's a joke. I would call you instead of you walking to a podcast. Yeah. One of them hit the number. And you walk into the club and introduced a headliner. What did he say? He said you. He said, I still got it he said you're

walking to the club and introduced a headliner he's a cox he's so funny he makes me sick the vice-time yeah he's so fun I didn't stand on for that yeah all right buddy you got anything to I didn't sign on for this. All right, buddy, you got anything to plug? No, I'll see you. No show?

No show? No, I want you on my, it's Adam. I'm a guest at the stand. What would you say? I want him on my podcast. Hey, Adam Frauer wants you on his podcast. Well, he's in town. Can you do it? Absolutely.

Great. Yeah, Adam, hit me up. I have a number. I love lost. You Can you do it? Absolutely. Great. Great. Yeah, Adam hit me up. I have a great number. I have a lot of loss. Do you want a boss on? Adam. What? I'm sorry.

I wasn't listening. How you making out? What? Yes, I want a boss on. Hey, Joe, we can talk about gambling all night. Joe, what's your website? Younger. I hung up. What do you mean when you're in town you move to LA? I was back and forth

I still got the house there but still got the apartment here. Oh great man It's how you buy house. She's good. Good. Bonnie's good. Kids are good. I really buy a lot of that Vosso he started a side podcast again. You will stop It's not like that they call drops when I was plugging. Oh no. Something. I knew, I called back and said, I knew you were going to do that. I am. Vos is like heaven.

Vos is literally like, you're like heaven and old uncle around. You just can't yell that for fucking being an asshole. And as soon as you get another chance really how's that going? Well, you know what I said to him and brought me up do you want for some? I love that work you want for us on the podcast so I and I always I always want you on the podcast No, you said you have you want for us on your podcast Yes, so how am I not gonna say something to him? You're the one who set that up Fucking dumb dilla wean to him. You're the one who set that up. You fucking dumb deloies. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure he's used that I've been used in my life.

I think you have. I think I'm going in his eyes. That's new. There's a spark. That's funny. You run and you you read that down. Yeah fucking big Make me some wine Shit me So can we talk? Well so are you having this Christ? I saw you having a show at the underground.

I don't know if it's a riot car show, but I'm not on it. You weren't on it. It was tight. It was tonight. What the fuck? Can I tell you why you weren't on it? Why? Nobody likes you.

Why don't you do the job? No, no. I can do it. Because we were trying to have the shows on. We wanted you and we're gonna have you in Bonillon, but Bonny was away. So, and we had, we were so guy heavy, and we had two girls on,

Saranadrian, because their podcast is coming to riot cast, and they canceled last minute. And it wound up being Sucky, but you know, whatever and then crowd it was a great crowd upstairs are downstairs packed Great crowd. So it was a little guy heavy, you know, and I forgot Gabby. I should have Gabby come on and do a set Mike actually murdered which which room? What's underground downstairs? What what cat they're both downstairs. No, one's upstairs. Yeah, what the fat black is upstairs and the big rooms downstairs. Yeah, okay. The coffee over there. So to you later.

And he's fucking past. Um, anyways, yeah, we're gonna start doing this more. No, we're gonna start doing those more. And we want you and Bonnie to be on it as a podcast Yeah, like next time I'll have you know, Gabby beyond I'll have Mike on will have you will have I want Chip to do a show You know, and then have the we wanted y'all as anchors. They Chris bailed look crystals on the Chris on the cruise Yeah, so we set it up It was supposed to be podcast whatever I'll explain it to you. I get it We've literally talked about no topics. We're gonna park, whatever. I'll explain it to you later. I get it. We literally talked about no topics. We're going to talk about this. We'll go back to the feet.

I want to talk about that. Yeah, you're right. We did have a foot topic. We had a fucking great foot topic. Yeah. And if you listen to the intro, there's no topics. Well, you talk about feet. All right.

All right. I don't do topics. All right. All right. We just call the coffee. This is a comic hang. You understand? Yeah. So that's what we do. Okay, please don't take your foot off

No, he'll throw up. Oh my god. Oh There's only four Look at his toe verzy look at his pinky. You got to look at a pinky what? Verzy you got to look at the pinky you got to look at the pinky show them the pinky How is Rick bring the foot over what do you know next to a reactor? No show them the pinky there is no pinky show them the pinky no you got to look at show look at the pinky Look at the pinky. Oh, is it broken? Is it broken? You got Denzel's finger foot.

He's got the worst pinky. Oh my God. What high heels? I bought those. That's why you can only count the ninth theme. Oh my. Fuck you. Fuck it, Verzy. That foot is fucked up.

I'll give you $10 if you suck my dough. Oh, I fucked up. God, the fuck he lives in West Virginia. I would think about 10 grand. I'd have to think about 10 grand. I never think about 10. 10 grand? All right, 20 grand, 20 fucking grand. You put his toe in your mouth. Yeah.

You get the fuck who's gonna come up with 20 grand? I would. You would. I would, yeah. I put my toe in my mouth for $5, $50 right now. Couple scratch offs. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my god.

No. I got a 50 bucks right here. It says you don't stick that little, that nub in your mouth. I got a hundred bucks as you can't You talking to me on him. Oh, he's gonna put his own foot in his mouth. He'll break his hip for that money. We doesn't He doesn't He does you do No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We then you said we had a topic you brought the feedback in oh It's like show and tell when you bring up feet for me. Oh my god. Mm-hmm holy fuck what a foot

Anyways, I'm not the foot. It's the pride you have in the foot. That's that's the thing I What it's my dead toe, okay? It's the dead toe. Hey, what do you mean dead. Let's show the children. I can't move it buddy It's not it's part of the other toes now. It's just like the other toes have claimed that Yeah, those are just win battered our surgery fixing Surgery fix that why would I get it fixed who cares? Yeah, well, he's got fucking ten years left Why is he gonna get it? Well, that's really well 15 All right, wait a minute. What's the over? 20 20 how old are you? You like 52? Yeah, I believe 52 But you for you, you're looking good. You're keeping your age. Yeah, you work out. Well, I think about it. What do you want to fuck them?

Back in the day You work out? Well, I think about it. What do you want to fuck them? Listen, when you had the ringlets in your head, you're a good-looking man. Ferrar has always kind of kept his shit tight. I know. Back in the day, when you were a schoolteacher and that thing, well, with Bonnie, you had a little mullet. Oh, that my wife was that was her show. What? What are you talking about? When I was a school teacher, I'm looking at his face. And then I said, what are you talking about? Therefore, it's to him. Would you like me to ask you that question? No.

All right. Since it was your show. No, with Bonnie McFarlane had the show called his, what was called? History, a social study. Yeah, social study. I thought it was your show about you. Now, I was the gym teacher on this show

It was actually Julia Duffy Bonnie and me with teachers and then a bunch of kids. What's your call? What's the name of it? Stupid it was called six and out It was the show called it was called social studies. I need him to hold that so we can bring it up social social studies And you PN it was really a Duffy and you know, you don't produce it, Dolly Parton and Sandy Gown. So it's not. So at the premiere, right? We finished the first six episodes and we're at Planet Hollywood.

And it was a school show. So we all signed the lockers and we were gonna put it in Planet Hollywood. And Dolly standing next to me and Julia, the lady was on the show, was standing right here. Julia Duffy, the blonde. Look at him.

Where's Bonnie? Right there to the right. Where? Go one over to the right. Right there. Just click over to the right right there click on that she's in the middle there's where's body right there wait Sammy guy he got violent he runs all the roasts Sammy Gallon click on that that's why he keeps on hearing her is the sandy gallon that runs the roast I don't think I don't know but I know I just know we donate the lockers after the sixth episode and lean over to Julia I said I think we're canceled we're given the set away and she's like I don't say anything about Dali's wig who's the blonde

Julia Duffy that's Julia Duffy she always the wrong one Jesus fuck that's one and I can't believe Bonnie was famous she had a when she started comedy she had over a $200,000 development deal and her boyfriend I don't want to say his name why rich boss. I don't want to be spent a lot of it. I'm not gonna say the Host you comment all over in fucking Vegas He lived with her for five years that's fun. I'm gonna buy you a you want to give her a funny story You like said down. He goes she has a type You want to hear funny story a funny story?

You're on fire I wish Oh, you're on fire. I wish. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Bonnie had a cat that was sick. Yeah.

So her boyfriend had to put it to sleep. Right. You know, and she had this cat forever. And she was heartbroken. It's like two weeks later it was her birthday and she comes home. She's working on a show. And she doesn't see anything and she goes, didn't you get me a birthday present? And he goes, I put your cat to sleep for you two weeks ago

Did I was your best birthday present? It costs like five bills. What like 500 to put a cat out It's a pretty good. You're not when you're a Dalian. Yeah, I make one call. You don't see that cat You're going to backyard? You can get me pile of dirt. And that's what he can. You have to meet compost. Say it with me. Compose that thing dying of bushing.

That way, I mean, look at Adam. Go back to that, please. There's got to be better. Listen, first of all, looking how good looking. And you've held up for, I mean, Adam, you've held up. Bonnie looks the same. Bonnie looks the same. And Bonnie, you can, that network's out of business.

That's how old that is, that was a UPN. We do, that's Fox though. No, it was a UPN, a Channel Nine. Yeah, it was, UPN was Channel Nine, yeah. Fox was five when they came out. Yeah, what channel is fucking FX is on what?

On cable that's cable no, it's as cable fox is five, but you PN was you be it was you remember the WB You WB was 11. I'm telling you right now Bonnie looks exactly the same and you look very similar Is that in the 90s or is still the two? Yes, got me night and move out till like 90s and look at him He's right next to you. Yeah, I know. Look at Bonnie. Same thing. Yeah, God damn it.

Bring up Voss from 1992. I bet it looks better now. Well bring up you. Bring up you. Bring up Bobby on the job. I found a video of me today. Yeah. 10 years ago.

Yeah. You found it or you searched for it? No, I found it on a hard drive. I found a hard drive. I found a few of me today. Yeah. 10 years ago. Yeah. You found it or you searched for it. No, I found it on a hard drive. I found a hard drive. I found a few other things too. I was gonna say, don't put that back in the shed. No, 90, put 90, 90, put, no, put 85. What?

I had to go back to my hair was ugly. He got to go way back with Vos. He's been around since I liked the Ringland hair. Yes. When you had that curly, that curly hair. What's Ringland? Oh, like the very curly hair. like the Ringland hair. Yes, when you had that that that curly that what's Ringland? Oh, like that very girl like that Kenny G hair Rascals boss rascals dude. I fucking look so good. Yes. God damn it. So good you were in shape Shredded there. Yeah, there it is You can't eat fuck yeah, that's not how my head grew.

That's how it grew. You know how much pussy I got back then with those fucking feet? And you shoved it on your head. Oh, yeah. They thought those teeth were fucking thick. Wait a minute, that's not a arm. That's not a turn or a fucking.

Oh, that's how it grew. It's a fucking talk over my joke. That's good. So he was asking the question. I put your headphones on. They're on, Mike said. Oh, no, I don't want toes Fucking melted Mexican here head phone. Oh What the fuck Mexican here's melting Boba whoa with the Mexican thing. This is two thousand and I Mexican

I'm pro Mexican you are Mexican. You are? Yeah. I got property. What the fuck was that mean? You have property. I just hired a new guy. What the what kind of guy? A landscaper? Seems really good. He hasn't come yet because it's been too wet. See only thing wet in my house. Keep going. Anyways, I want to talk to Gabby ever anything. Yeah, she's added a bunch at the beginning. I'm just, because I miss you. You know what it's say what he does though, right?

He throws some out and then he complements you. If it doesn't miss, he makes it serious. If it doesn't miss, I mean, if it does miss, I'm sorry, you fucking piece of shit. Last night was the Oscars. Yeah, for the first time, I recorded them, I didn't watch a second. I wanted an Alimata and I fast through everything. I watched a whole thing from beginning in.

I thought, first of all, I thought Chris and Steve weren't we're funny. Chris and Wig is one of the funniest people alive. Chris and Wig right now, I am not fucking joking. Is hands down one of the funniest people like comic oh Communic actors fucking out there right now. Did you see the funny or then fucking will Farrell? Well, he was funny last night. Yeah, he is funny, but you kind of getting we get it with you I

I kind of get it. I love will he's funny, but it's like I dude my route. I get it But my rule off was those two together were fucking it was the funniest whole area who hosted nobody no host they don't do it nobody aren't you in the business no I don't watch that shit they take all those fucking speeches at the golden globes the highlights of it oh you thought those were bad wait last night what's great no I saw a piece of uh Joaquin Phoenixes and I was just when he started talking about cows I was like that I see why was M&M when a song that he did 20 years and his pants were heft down his ass and he gained a lot of weight yeah I think yeah why did it why did they do that song though because it won an Oscar oh and he wasn't

there he wasn't there he wasn't there to sing it they were talking about songs how important music is to a movie, that the song, you can't take the song out of the movie or the movie out of the song. And that's one of those songs. It's very important. The guy that's saying it's not here, but it's very important.

Well, he sang it last night, sang it last night, and it was a little, it was a little, I compare the Oscars now to the improvs. Like when they first opened, it was a really high class club. And now it's just, you know, it's kind of urban. You know what I mean? It's kind of, you know, they have earthquake and mama something coming. Everyone's gonna want to have somebody famous.

Somebody famous a role when they're working on an hour, you know what I mean? But it was, why do they paper the improv? I mean, do they paper the Oscars? Yeah. Now. What do you call it? But it was, it's, it's, Renee had to bring five people.

That would bring her. I look at, she was great. It's, it used to be this thing. It used to be an event. It used to be an event, the very classy event,, very proper. And now it's more of a party. Now, which I don't think is, is that bad? Now it's a musical. I think musical, but now it's a part of the ed fucking quest love DJ and put them in a wrap. And it's went down. I mean, there's more choices for entertainment. Yeah. So it's not like the, oh, we have to see because the

movies themselves are not drawing in the audience. So the event to celebrate these movies aren't gonna draw in the audience. Well, I don't know, dude. Did you see Parasite? Yes. I did not. I fucking one of the greatest movies I've seen this year.

I got it in my head. I got it in my head. What? Subtitles? Subtitles? I didn't see it. No, no subtitles. Okay.

No, yes, subtitles. Subtit subtitles subtitles right? So you paid attention Buddy, it's like a pocca lip. Though when a movie's that good you don't need fucking to know the language right? I'm sure I didn't I didn't see it. I had no interest in seems That's it. I gotta go to show up. That's it. Where? Around the corner. I'll come back. Oh good. I was worried I'll come back. All right. Good. I was worried.

I see a lot of us. Let's talk about that date. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, after the podcast. Five I see. Five I see. Five I see. Five.

You're not gonna say goodbye to me. Oh, Bob. Five. What is it? It's a toe. You have a gift. What is it? What is it? What is it? It's a toe. Do you have a gift? What is it? What is it? What? He's been saying that to me for a month. He's never brought it. I'm kidding. I was just kidding. That's one of make sure it's real

He's gonna go buy you something right now. Can we shut that door? That door should be shut there in see No, Bardor. Yes. Why why wouldn't we shut that level of seriousness that these actors take themselves? That's what that's what I find It's like we're not that important You know, they're not that important. They're trying to say these things that are just you know I get that they got the platform to do it But it's like nobody's ever just so fucking cool like that's what peshies is still the most epic one ever. He didn't even show up. Remember peshies? What do you say?

When he won for good fellas? What do you say? He goes it was an honor. Thank you. Yeah, and that's what you should fucking do. And you know, you should definitely do that. Make up ladies. And listen, I, what the fuck?

And what the fuck? Come on, man. We don't give a fuck you in the movie, and especially how bad skin he has. I love makeup people. I get it. I get it. Everybody's important on a film.

I get it. But, you know, being talent, so called, you know, or Lens Meat, whatever you wanna call me. Well, doing the shit they take Like lens me. Yeah, they call us that. That's what the crew will call actors lens meet get that lens meet in front of the fucking camera So we can go home. I've never heard that. Yeah, so here's a deal girls are called lens candy That's the hot girls are called lens. Yeah, really? Yeah, the producers at the producers studio once in a while. Okay. You stop hitting on my fuckers. Yes. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Anyways, uh, yeah, the producers and the crew are together and the actors at the other and you try to make some type of synergy and stuff like that. When it comes to an award show, you know, speed it up. They have the lattice. Speed it up. It's the lattice, speed it up. Stop wearing such extravagant neccaluses you fucking weirdo. She's a fake up lady. She stole it from props.

Well, listen, what do you make of me talking about, Bob? You talking about like turning a guy into fucking an L boy, or the shit that an Murphy did? Because that's crazy. Okay, crazy, but speed it up. We don't need to think, I understand this is your moment, you might never get it again.

Your stock just went through the fucking roof Now you get to charge more money You're the mother fuck you're an award-winning makeup or sound or fucking Folk whatever the speech doesn't take that away. You can still put that you so it's really worth it There it does from me going to bed up and up since 7 30 I got a six-year-old I got to wake up at 7 30 speed it to fuck up gladdest I don't want to hear that. And I want to thank fucking Montgomery.

Why do you watch it? You stood up and why do you stand up and watch it? I fast forwarded through most of, pretty much all the speeches. Okay. I fast forwarded through, except Brad Pitt's. Brad Pitt won Best Supporting. Best Supporting, but he had to get political. What did he say?

He said, he's fucking makeup ladies. How funny would that be? That would be funny. We got some plastic. The network did the necklace away. Well, you know, Will Farrell did make fun of the editing people. That was pretty funny. Well, he was like, we hate these people.

I was, they were like, I was, he said, I was in forest, gump. It was just, that was pretty funny it was just that was pretty funny. Wilfrere I was pretty fine with what did Brad Pitt say politically? He said, um, he, someone actually wrote it for him. And he, he, what is it? I'm going to get there. Yeah. I'm stalling because I'm not smart.

Okay. And I'm trying, I'm starting out when I, for score. Yeah. When I start fucking get a political, I really got to slow it down. I saw you, I saw you start getting red and start getting dirt. Yeah, you started to look it up. You want to go back to the feet? He said, I have 45 seconds to give this speech, which is 45 seconds longer than blah, blah,

blah had in the impeachment trials, saying that, you know, trying to trashing that they didn't have enough time to get this piece of shit. But his Golden Globe speech was like, quippy too, that you knew he didn't write that. Like they were like written jokes. Yeah, but so what? They should be written, they're actors.

They know they should have comics right there, jokes, so that they're fucking entertaining. This is still supposed to be a, we're not supposed to watch a real award show. It's supposed to still be fucking entertaining. And when you win, if you have the potential, you should say, I have common sense. I am a good person.

I have values. I know people want to go to sleep. I'm going to thank my family right there. Then my fucking people that got me here, and then the crew of the fucking shit that got me here. And I'm out. And probably the writer or director and you done. Your family, your cast, your crew, the studio, your agents, studio, I'm out. Thank you so much.

You guys are the best and then go right into the camera and thank you for watching this movie. Thank the people that you guys are the fucking best. Fuck the four film Leech in the Skanks or whatever the fuck they are. Who fucking that's them the leech anyway. And I'm very sure. Am I wrong? 45 seconds. I'm with enough.

No, I, yeah, I mean, I know what you think it's forever, but take your trophy because you'll go down in history. You remember fucking him. You know what I thank you. What are you saying? He's got a talent guy who said he wanted to have sex with everybody for it's a beautiful life. Oh yeah, but yeah, like he just still, he goes out on the hat,

be I want the sex with everybody. I would love to have the party. Yeah, yeah. And then he left and we're like, all right, I can do it. Roberto Benini. Yes, Roberto Benini on Leno. Could do that. Watch this fucking lunatic. He wants to have sex with everybody.

Yeah, right there. Click that. Watch this fucking lunatic. Come out. Look what he does. The poor Don Rickles almost breaks the poor guys back with his fucking. No fucking hijinks. Yeah, make it big.

Huge movie star. Watch this. Top comedian. It's all right. He was a comic. make it big watch this top comedian sorry now he's a Italian personality 91 years old please watch it yeah he's got Mike's gonna get to the point pause it and get to the

beliny guy and then replay it because I set Mike up to fill in that i'm sorry Mike here he comes go back go back go Go back. Go back. Go back Yeah, right there. There he is watch this fucking lunatic This guy enjoys life though Or he's high as a Georgia pine Yeah, that's a little excessive. This is all set up. You do that today, he's getting the fuck it.

Oh, that's suit tomorrow. He's suit. Look, he's hurting people. Look, he's hurting people. He was an Italian actor who won an Academy Award for a movie called What It Was Beautiful Life View. Look at him, he's hurting people people then made a creepy Pinocchio movie Mike that to the shoe Mike Hey took someone's high he's hand who's who's who's who's best studying game look look look he's gonna hurt somebody with his whole shit With that's his thing. No, that's his thing. That's this thing that makes him funny in Italy. There's physicality like Jerry Lewis

Okay That's just thing that makes him funny in Italy. His physicality, like Jerry Lewis. Look. Okay. Go, go, go, go, go three discs It's as an end though he keeps going Crickles Thank you for coming's gonna see you again. Okay, sorry. That's it? Thank you for coming. Nice to see you again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. I think I'm in love. Yeah. Do you need the personal trainer? Why are you holding it? I love it. I love it. Oh, yeah.

We too. I need you to do it. I love it. I love it. I shut it. All right. Oh, yeah. We too. We're going to be in the house. Do I hope? I shut it up. How funny.

This is, man. That's Italy funny. And that's America funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you yelling? You need a personal training.

I love Italy too much. You lost the war. But whatever. How fucking great is Don Rickles? Yeah. God damn it. I fucking, I suck that I didn't meet him. Oh, I did. Oh, thank you. I did. Let's talk about it. Yeah goddamn it. I fucking I sucked that I didn't meet him. Oh, I did. Oh, thank you. Let's talk about it. That's it. Any other dreams? I

get big hug. You ever got a Harley too? Because I want to one of those. Where? I got a hauling. No, you have a fucking old car. I got a ride-cars studio in my house with a new table. I got nice feet. Yeah, you have an old car, tell me, don't you? Yeah, say a 70-duce in the corner. Jesus Christ. How fucking great is that? Yeah, I was you have an old car tell you don't you yeah say a 70 doose in the corner Jesus Christ How fucking great is that yeah, you you you went to West in Chicago What did you say to me? I said you went to West. Yes. You were gonna said tell me you wanted to buy a car You want to buy an old car. I don't I don't I got a new house first. We're moving Moving where you moving we're going up. No. Yeah, we're up where up, you know, I'm Ketona. Okay

Bedford South Salem But I don't know if I'm gonna go over to Salem but I don't know I don't think we fit in with those people now, you know, we should go I fit in with you and fucking Yannis, but the other people I think are a little too fucking country for me Where are you? I'm up on that area. I know the Westchester. You know, we earthy's the fucking him and his wife Literally the fucking saints of the mother fucker now Janus moves up There maybe I should move up that we take over we just take over We're trying it. We don't want to move to with us. We don't want to we want to move a little blue collar All right, we want a little fucking regular Joe

There you go where heartburn Cut for heartburn my Santa room now, but Katona's nice Katona's a little more, but yeah, but it's not blue color not bad for book in trip Katona schools. Yeah, so it's a little Yeah, it's a little more blue call could you do me a favor? Can you print that a little? I'm 50 Jesus Christ White on that page. You have a lot of room, Gabby. Fuck it with me.

Look at all the fucking... Yeah, that's on me. You're fucking 18. What the fuck? From now on, big, big, big. Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna... My head's gonna explode with this fucking shit. Brooklyn is the best.

You don't Brooklyn is? Tell me. Let me tell you something. I have a bed. Good. And my bed is called Jerusalem. We named our bed. What? What? Jerusalem a bed. Jerusalem. Yeah, that's your name. Your cell. That's the name of the bed when we bought it. This is

a Jerusalem. Oh, it's a that's the type of bed. That's the bed's name. The name. The name is the queen. Yeah, every queen's the type of bed. That's the bed's name. The bed's name. The name is Juicilla. I was bed-queen. Yeah. Queen is the type. Juicilla's the name. No, I have a king.

Juicilla. King Juicilla. God, all right. I have a king Juicilla. I'm the few guys that make it me like, I'm the fucked up one here. Well, I mean, you know, you're bed has a name.

You didn't name your bed. You name your bed? No. What the fuck were you doing? What in the head? You have a king or a queen? I got a queen or a queen. What the fuck is it? Who are you? You have a king or a queen? I got a queen or a queen. What the fuck is it?

Who are you? You have a fucking, how many bedrooms you have in your house? I'm a, what, I got a king. Cause we're men. What do you have? You have a fucking queen? I have a queen. You have a queen?

Yes. What's your queen's name? What's your queen's name? I don't know. You don't have a fucking, first of all. I should have said my wife, that what my wife's name would have been a good name. You see, you don't. You're Adam Oli. I know,'t know. You don't have a fucking, first of all. I should have said my wife, that what my wife's name would have been a good name. You say you don't have a good name.

You don't have a good name. You don't have a good name. I know, I know. Adam, he has a queen bed. Wait a minute, wait a minute. He has a house, he has a children. I'm right here. He ought to do that.

I don't know when somebody talks about you in front of you and doesn't look at you, that I can't handle. I listen. I can't handle my fucking friend having a queen bed. But what a queen bed. But a queen size. Because it's for women. It's for college students.

Actually, it's for no less women. It's for fucking. It is for nameless women. Yes, it's for young couples that just got their first pad to wait. I would like to I would like a king actually. If listen to me, hook it up. Well, this is not for this isn't the mattress. What? Of course, I have a listen

I have a king bed named Lucila with a five inch Terry cloth pillow. You know, my my foot's not bad. Do you got Mike? I have a full He lives in a bucket and Brooklyn. What are you talking about? I want to get into my room. I can't have a king. All right, everybody else in here, everybody will be here. But he, he, he, he's got a for easy lives in a bonsai apartment. He has no room. Yeah. You got a bug pants with two other guys. Yeah, yeah, but what do you have?

I have a fall. Bubba, they're fucking children. You're in a, you're in a doubt. Okay. In Westchester, in a nameless bed, two, two cars, two kids. Lexus. Yeah. Did you name your children?

Thank you. To a cello. Thank you. Did a children have names? Yeah, did you name your children? Thank you, or Silla, all right. You're the children have names. Yeah, they got you're a lazy fuck Who the fuck has a queen bed? Wow, man. All right. What the fuck? All right, you know what? What's with the headphones? I fuck a work in here. Why you don't take it out of my headphones you got a queen bed You're mad, but it's not a kid here. Can you Can you help a mic? No, no, don't go crazy. No, no, no, don't yell at us. And then when we ask, we're gonna help, don't tell us no. I projected.

You projected. You know what, yeah, I got a... What's your mother's name? My mother? Yeah, what's your name? Do not name your bed, Christine. No, no, no, no. I was named...

I was named... And name it. Yeah. Author. I'll give you this. What. I would get a king and name it. Yeah. Author. I'll give you this. What? I'll get a king. Please.

I'm not naming a bed. Get a king. I'm an adult. Let's get a king and then we talk. Did you name the bed? Did you name your car? No, I'm not an asshole. I can actually see a name in a car.

I name my car. What's your car? My low. That's cute. Listen, can I do this ad real quick? Because when you get your king bed like us men, because men have a king bed, you're a man, Verzy. You'll get a king bed someday soon, hopefully.

We can maybe if there's a mattress company out there, they can hook him up. Name your bed, Drusilla. Listen, you just said I'm a man. I didn't name it, that's the name it came with. Came with. That's the name it comes with. It's called Drusilla.

He got the bed right there. He got a rescue bed with Delta. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, making your home beautiful is the ultimate form of self care. It's called the child's broken. Is ultimate form of self care. And what a better time than the new year to take care of yourself.

You spend a 30-year life in your sheets. Don't you want them to be insanely comfortable? It's true. You should be insanely comfortable. And sheets, I got these sheets, they gave me a pair. I'm gonna be fucking right out of the honest with you. They set me a pair of sheets for Dracilla King pillowcases. King Dracilla, what's the threat count for King Drusilla?

Cousin, here's a deal. Fuck the threat count. Fuck it all. These sheets right here, company founded by a husband and wife, Team Vicki, and Rich Fulop, who wanted to find beautiful home essentials that didn't cost an arm and a leg. The mission to make everybody comfortable. From you to me, to rich people, to poor people,

you don't have to have a ton of cash. They cut out the middle man, because by the time they get to Macy's, 300% markup, okay? 300% mark, they want all luxury products without the luxury markups. That's why these people the best. They have, I think, was it 35,000 five star reviews

on these sheets? I bought two more pairs. Don went and bought them myself. That's, you know, something's good because we get shit sent to us. You got your pockets. You get stiff stuff and you use it, you promote it, thanks for the money and then you move on. But when this shit, something's really good like these sheets. I went and bought two more pairs myself out of my pocket because that's how great they are. What makes the sheets great? I don't know. It's just good like these sheets. I went in about two more pairs myself out of my pocket because that's how great they are. What makes the sheets great?

I don't know. It's just like when I- They're soft. They're soft, but they're cold and woo- Oh, the cold. See, any cold. Cold and warm. Any cold.

It's comfortable though. It's not like, they don't get hot, but they don't get cold. It's not like, it's like perfect. I don't know. I don't know. Dude, let me tell you something. I come home after being on the road and I jump into that bed. It's like dude, I'm fucking love. Yeah, it makes me love my house. Yeah, my king

Bed. Yeah, I'll get it. Okay Listen, do I have did you mark? I don't know what you marked him didn't mark I highlighted what you shouldn't say what I should say yes All right, and the things I shouldn't say I read Because you didn't tell me what the fucking highlighted means you read it. Yeah, well, it does in the acting world, but in the regular world means I'm crossing this out. No, no, it means read it.

All right. Real quick. Are you hearing this? Yeah, we're just doing it. Oh, I've got to find Hina scenes, like look. Okay. Oh, late show downstairs. This new year it's time.

Somebody stole Vos's foot. That's an angel. Actually, I want to stay corrected. I said 35,000. They have 50,000 five star reviews. And 50,000? 50,000. That's a lot.

That's a good sample. Yeah, dude. 50,000 is impressive. You know what's more impressive? They got more money out of you. it's more impressive. They got more money out of you. That's more impressive. They did get more like Brooklyn and was the first DTC bedding company, meaning they work directly with manufacturers and directly with the customers. No, no, man. DTC stands for direct to customer. Yes, sir. All right. Just a great product in service.

They've moved beyond the bed and now they have essentials for your bathroom, like towels, shower curtains, bath mats. They have everything, ultra soft, long lounge wear, and that's like PJs. But you don't wear, but I actually saw a couple of them. It's socks. I think I might get up. Look at that, nice little t-shirt and some little panties.

What are you sleeping? I sleep in usually my underwear on the t-shirt. Yeah. And I have socks on the case something happens in my mind. I have socks on because I can't find my toenail cutter. And I got a wife. Are you serious? Yeah, I got to cut my toenails.

I'm like, I got to put these socks on. Wait a minute, you got a bed on a t-shirt? If I, yeah, I wear a t-shirt sometimes. I take it off sometimes if it's hot. What's Bobby loses? What are you painting a picture in your head? No, when you roll a car, the thing I fucking, I mean, you think I wear my white shirt?

Not with these sheets, these are DTC sheets, directly fuck the customer. You think I want to, my wife. What do you think? What a plan with kid, kid, Queenie? This man, King size bed, oh, kind of shit. Thank you. He reached into his pocket, I need to more.

He also said, no, no, it takes some money. He also said he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, I gotta do this. Hey, I gotta do this read you bring it up. Penises. Well, what are you reading a novel? I mean, all right. Well, she on the line that I went dyslexic on it because she didn't tell me read this I let it stuff. It's kind of common knowledge to read the stuff, right? No, it's not. Yeah. Well, you should tell me anyways, because I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking act right now. You're doing a great job, Gab. Thanks so much. Cut. We're going again, I didn't believe it. You're doing a good job, Gab. I really appreciate it.

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Anyways, what is that? More highlighted stuff. All right, we got to wrap this up. Anyway, what was Dick? The way he took the picture you can see his abs as well. So it was kind of like a well-rounded. It was like a, like, you like the composition. Sure. It was like an Italian sculpture. Yeah, I see it was a fresh guys. It was a photo shoot It was like he's like dude. I got pitch. I got let me see this and he shot and we were both like oh my god

It was like a photo shoot like with reservations did this Like one of the indeed took it yeah, like a Lieberman fucking yeah, yeah took this shot You know, I mean it's Yeah, like, Lieberman fucking took this shot. You know what I mean? It's like one of those. And he had a nice piece. He had a great piece. Yeah, you know, if I, I was in that same position to be a different sculpture, you know what I mean?

It still be art, but it would just be a weird art. Like a Renaissance woman. What, do you call me? It's gonna be a fat lady. We're buckets. Anyways, yeah, last night was fucking whatever. I think, are we done with the Oscars? We're done, right?

That's it. We know who won, it's over. Yeah, Funny's tweet, Bailey J said, I believe that the conductor in the orchestra is unnecessary. Oh, she had a funny suspicion that it might be unnecessary. Just that fucking idiot, come on like this.

Yeah, that was hilarious. I think I'm done with all that. I don't know, are we old? Is that it? I haven't watched a minute of the last couple. I just won't. It's not an event anyway. We covered it.

It doesn't mean nothing. It's not like a Super Bowl where there's, I'm gonna watch that every year. Yeah. You know, I'm invested in it. If I got in a movie that happened to be, even a small part, I would watch to see if my friends and the people,

okay, that's one, one more for next year yeah if you get a job exactly I don't I don't understand we fight if we all we all wind up booking a film this year and it winds up being in the Oscars and we're like we love that we're like you know it's it's not it's not a year without the Oscar we go up give a pull it up you can sheets, but not my ass. I'm up to go on like this. We shouldn't eat as many pigs as we climb. It changes real. I only have 45 seconds to save the animal. Enough with the feet. I changed my gardener from Mexican to white. That's what you should do. You can't say anything opposite of what the main thing is. Remember what's his name got fucked?

Oh, Gary Oldman. What he said. Gary Oldman went up and he just goes, America's been great to me. America's this country's given me the opportunity to do all that shit and he got like fucking ostracized. He didn't say anything about a president. He didn't say anything about,

he just said this country's been amazing to me. And like you said, how about, how about last night where Renee Zellweger couldn't even say police. She had to say first responders. You can't, she said, I want to thank our firefighters and our first responders. Because if you said police, they would be like, fuck you.

Like being a police officer now is a bad thing in the news or our industry. Was she directed to do that or was that on her? Why wouldn't you say firefighters, police? You don't, they're not first responders, they're police. No, but a first responders can also be like, say, the cops, the cops are them, you know, first responders I think of,

yes. Maybe she got a ticket that day. I don't know, but it's just weird. It's just weird. And they also changed this very subtle. It used to say men and women, right? Remember, it was always men and women. We were all being ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, right? But men and women, they switched it. Now they say women and men. It's always women first with everything now. It's never men first. Yeah, which I don't give a fuck, do whatever you want. I look at it this way. Suddenly, just the change, the change is happening

where, you know, look, all the shit that they did for all those years is being wiped away and they're just doing it. You know, I mean, I don't give a fuck, men, women, women, men, go fuck yourself. It doesn't matter to me. I got a six year old. I'm fucking, I just want to nap at some point during the day. I want to take a shit that doesn't fucking cut up like a deliist machine. And I'd like to take a nap. But so socially, if you, if you have a good stool, everything's all right with the world. I think that's

what everybody if you got is if you think about it, yeah. If you're gut is good, you're a happy person. I have, my wife has been to probiotic diets. Who? Roast sour crowd. Okay, you like sour crowd? Eat a couple of Roast sour crowd. A cup? A cup in the morning, after about a week, you're shit clean.

A cup? A cup of sour crowd. What are you talking about? Fremented foods in your system. What do you mean you're shit clean? Clean. You ain't got a wipe, nothing. What do you mean you shit clean? Clean. You ain't got a wipe, nothing. What do you mean clean?

Clean. That was good. It just comes out. Yeah, shoots a shooter roll out. Oh, it's like a no wiper. That's it. Like rope, clean break, like a rope, clean break, snip it. That's it.

Sour crop. Yeah. When to eat it in the afternoon or the morning, you have to wake up and eat sour crock. I get up morning, shove you sour crock, you fucking. German. I can't do that. Why? What a fucking do that? I have a hard time believing you can never not eat okay? I think you can eat that hurt my feelings. I'm sorry. I've been on the diet for eight weeks tomorrow This will you look good? No, don't back out of that back in I'm fucking cock suck out. Okay, I'm in it.

Eat my fucking sourcrow. I'll get it. Eat the sourcrow. You wake up in the morning and you have a cup of sourcrow. Yeah, okay. Rolls out of that. Rolls out of that. Yeah.

Cucumber, whole cup of cup of sourcrow. I don't know what it's said in the book. What do you mean? Drain, drained, right? Yeah, drained of that. You could even drink the sourcrow juice if you want. Cleanse everything out. What the fuck is going on drinking? Now you're gonna drink it? Yeah. Drinkrain up. You could even drink the salad croutch juice if you want. Cleanse everything out. What the fuck is going on drinking?

Now you're gonna drink it? Yeah. Drinking it. You've done this before. Why are you gonna make it about that? I'm not making it about that. I'm saying you're used to it. He's trying to make it right there.

I'm not making. I'm trying to help you. What? And you're yelling at me. Don't bring me into this shit. Ha ha ha. No, I'm not. I'm gonna try it.

No, you're not. Fermented foods are really good. The cops are good bugs. What about the Korean kimchi? Kimchi. Yes, have that. Could I do that instead? Yes, you can.

Because I don't think I could do a cup of salad. Do you take pills? A cup of kimchi? What? Do you take diet pills? Why, what are you going? No, like diet pills. No.

You don't. No. Do you look, I mean, it's annoying. Oh no. You should see the fat naked man who lives in my mirror. Holy shit. I was walking to the gym yesterday. I'm standing by buddy's house.

I'm like, oh my god. Dude, you look good. You've kept, I mean, dude, you're one of those guys. Here's the thing though, it doesn't stay off. You have one little fucking thing on the side. Yeah, but dude, you're fucking movie star thin. No. All right, so look at me.

I have to lose. Yeah, but here's the star, then. All right, so look at me. I have to lose. Yeah, but here's the thing, you did it twice, because when I first met you ripped, you read it ripped, then you got big, then you got thin again. Yeah, this is my sex fat. Really? So that means you can do it again?

Or I can do it again, but I'll never get harder. I'm the older you get. Hey, it does. But it wasn't that long ago that you were... You're right, it does get harder. But here's the thing, you've been on this fat for a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, what the fuck? What the fuck you come and at it? Like, that's all I'm saying because you said, Oh, I could go back and this. I've been on this fat for a minute. Yes, I've been on it since I had the kid. It started when I had it hard to get your figure

back. But you, I'm, I could never be you. Right you I could never be you right I can never be this You were better than I was never that I was you are Thanks Mike there's no way you can bring up Bobby no, no, I don't want to see it. All right I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it bring up the sheets no because it makes me feel bad I'm the foot I can't tell you how fucking happy I was when Gabby wrote in both your fucking name for the text message. I knew it was going to be just a fun show.

I mean, Voss kind of ruined it, but you know, he just is just a fucking mush. But I can't tell you where I'm going to fucking me and you are going to go smoke. By the way, thank you so much for what you did because what you did was really fucking nice. I was a comedy on state and people are going Bobby Kelly's Instagram at a nowhere you just plug my dates when you didn't have to do that that's where I was there so that was really really nice and I did tell people in my neighborhood to come out and see you guys at richfield that was that was very nice here's what bothers me about it's what I

went oh I thought you meant something about me I I was like, oh, there's a problem with me. It's not what I meant. It's your nameless bed. No, it's the queen bed. He has a queen bed, fucking and furious me. Lexus, no, fucking queen bed. I mean, what the fuck? Two Lexus. Two. I got a, my wife's got the 200 trucks.

And I have the E-S-350. Two Lexus, I love that. Nice car. Two Lexus. Here's a box. It's the Lexi. Here's a polys me. I fucking flow. I got a 19352 left. I love it. Listen to me, I love it. Two Lexus. Heads of bugs. It's the Lexi. Heads of bugs. I fucking flow.

I got a 19. Listen, I'm about to give a speech. Go ahead, go ahead, go. Hold on. You know my speech. Hold on, you're the band. You know I fucking, yeah. When I give a speech, now, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, okay. And for best makeup. For end of the podcast speech, the winner is Robert Yeah, yeah, okay. And for best make up. Ha ha going? How great would that be if that was an Oscar speech? Where somebody goes, you know, after everything goes, wait, what was I saying? Something written down. Listen to me. Yeah.

When if you're sitting there and you're putting up on your thing, sold out shows Saturday night and you're sold out, don't promote your sellout that's already done. Go find a friend and promote their show. You fucking self-centered cock suckin'. Look what I did, fucking. Now I'm not sayin' every time, sometimes.

But to put up just sold out and not, it's like you're done, your job's done. The club's happy, you're done, the theater's done clubs happy you're done the theaters done you sold out now You just mushing it in people's faces. Yeah, maybe needed your plug. Yeah, to help them sell 20 more tickets So they get a fucking sell out. You're right. I want you to sell out you to sell out me to sell out We all sell out. We all make money. We're all fucking happy that he's Oprah and we all get a fucking bed Yeah, and Alexis too fucking happy that he's Oprah and we all get a fucking bed. Yeah. And the Lexus too. Yeah. And a fucking old double quad CC. Yeah. What do you suck sickle stroke? Sickle stroke.

Whatever you have. It's a blood disease. That's right. Yeah. You're a car nut, huh? I like it. Yeah. I don't know. I don't the budget or the room. But I like what's your favorite? What's your go to like my car to car? I have 19. I have the year the Lex the first year of the Lexus came out. I know I'm gonna I gotta go. I know. What are you talking about? You keep looking at the phone and you got it. I didn't look at the phone. I got a buzz. Okay. You got a buzz. No, we're good. I just you you wanted to fucking run some shit tonight, right? Yeah, we need to talk. All right, we need to say like that.

Jesus Christ. Jesus. Yeah, me. If you walk in his plastic on the floor. Jesus Christ, you fucking yeah, me don't what if you walk in his plastic on the floor I have a Ford Ranger. All right, let's change. I got a new Ford. No, I love it. Yeah, the new one that just came out Okay, 2019 they didn't make it since 2011 they finally came out with it. I fucking love it It's all they drive trucks drive like caddies now fucking go it has everything mm-hmm Yeah, automatic high beams, automatic windshield wipers. Got it, you're right. You know what else drives like caddies? All that horses.

You know what else drives like caddies? Caddies are horses shit. Who has a fucking killer like? Oh, I would get a CT SV. I have fucking. Supercharged 675 horsepower. You kidding me? No, you get a double pass.

I will never not have a Lex. I'm not even kidding. I will never not have a Lexus in having this happy. It's the one of the greatest things that's ever happened in my life. Like, I- You gotta raise your goals.

I wanted my wife to get a Lexus and she wouldn't do it. What's going on? She got the Honda and then she bought it. She's like, I'm just gonna buy this car. She's like, I don't need it, you don't need it, we don't need it person. Yeah, but I got a Lexus for a price of that. I got a Lexus for a, I got a Lexus price of that. I got what I got Alexis for

a I got Alexis with 23,000 miles. You bought it and I bought it and it's when I put a hundred thousand miles on it in three years and it is glass. I mean, this thing is perring like a fucking kitten. It's the best. It's the best. And then by just by right now, I bought it right out because I live up. I live up. I got to I got to drive I'm Lisa my wife is Lisa and hers is three company. Yeah, I Lisa I bought a company what you have your own company Like my own like LL type of thing. Yeah, yeah, what's it called Paul Versey LLC? You need to give it a name I mean what you need to give it a fucking name your bed your company

Fuck I was wrong with your fault. What the fuck? You know what we're gonna end this. If that is your name, is that your name? Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, listen, Adam, what do you got, Bubba? Oh, my podcast, the Adam for a podcast, 30 minutes you never get back,

and my friend Bobby Kelly's gonna do an interview with me. I got Jay Leno, Kevin James, he's FACO's coming up. You're really going downhill with me. Now you're going to put me on like a holiday weekend. Look a photo to have and you want to. So yeah, I'm very excited. Plugging that.

And then that's I got my new album comes out next month. So and and and you're show what's the show? Why women kill on CBS oil access. Yeah, it's with Lucy Liu, Jennifer Goodwin, myself, Alicia Coppola plays my wife, and so on CBS streaming, which means that's an hour to explain to my mother. What channel? Stream your ass. I mean, that was... It's easy for me to hire the cast and act it out in a living room.

I mean, is there anybody who's fucking stood the test of time than this fucking guy? I mean, hasn't lost a beat. Great dude, and great fucking guy. And you're so good that people remember it man. This guy is important thing in this fucking game. I'm gonna buy you a bed. This guy has saved me. Saved me from fuck, because you know, I got a fucking temper on it.

I'm gonna tell you. No, you? I'm joking. I know, man, man. Save him, save him. But he fucking has literally walked me off the edge a couple times. It's like, Ed, dude, don't do that.

This is why I had, this might have happened. Trust me. Mm. And I'd be like, yeah, you're right. And I just take me right out of the thing, get the thing over with and move on, get your money a couple of times. I mean, fucking top five star motherfuckers.

Love you, bud. And another five star, of course you're my friend. I mean, we've, you know, I don't know as much about you as I know him because I've known him for longer. So I mean, in the end, it might not work. Right now, by the way, you're a good guy. I did find a couple of things that started me about you tonight. Yeah.

The name was bed. Yeah. Queen bed. Queen bed. Queen bed. And the feet thing. Yeah. But thing like you can't be held responsible Yeah, but let's can be for the bed size. Yeah, so let's pick up the pick up the game. Let's get the ball Versi my one of the fucking funniest guys going right now. I mean no shit and

He's got a special. Yeah special call. I'll say this treatment on comedy central right now and The Versi effect podcast of course and please come out to levity live, man. Tickets are moving and I really want it to be bigger and better than it was last time. So levity live, March 5th through the 8th. And then I will be at McGubby's at the end of March. I think the 26th, 27th and 28th, McGubby's Joe Kausen Baltimore.

So check those out for more dates. Go to PaulVersi.com, check out my Instagram and my Twitter. Bobby, thank you for having me. Have you done CB Live in Phoenix? So check those out for more dates go to Paul Versey dot com check out my Instagram and my Twitter. Bobby Thank you for having me and have been done CB live in Phoenix because I'm there 27 through 29 of February Do the club did no I did to be yeah, I did tempi last year, but I'm doing this one this year. Okay. Oh, I heard something about I heard yeah, okay. It's a great club both of them are tempi and that one's mm-hmm Well, that was just a comedy on state. I don't know what's beating that dude. Nothing beats it. I mean, I know chequespot. No chequespot.

No chequespot. If you heckle your thrown out, you're they have a fucking putting green of pool table, a massage chair, a fucking big screen. What are you working a Brookstone? It was in a... You might, the green one might as well have been. Every staff member there is the fucking nicest pro

and the people that own it, the two daughters and the father and the mother of the fucking greatest people alive. They are. Hotel is fucking top notch. Sagarbar down the street. The town is awesome. That's awesome.

I'm telling you, but there's no check spot. If every club could just get their shit together and stop this fucking harassment. You told me that great trip. He told me that great trip. And because I said, you know, when somebody's talking or somebody's doing something, you kind of walk on the stage and you kind of look at them.

But I remember you saying that during the check spot, you'll go and you'll play that. Play that. I remember you told me too, a lot of times headliners tell you things or people that you've, you know, that you have been doing it for a long time that you just kind of like, yeah, I'll great. You know, but then there are certain people that say things that are like yeah, like this fucking dude gets it

Yeah, what if I what what what what tell me one of mine You've told me a bunch yeah, I got to tell me one guy right no, you know people Yeah, I know but you tell me no, I don't want to embarrass you I love you to just say it. You know, you got to do this interview. You got to do this interview No, of course I do Well, what is it? You said one time You said Robert Patron dot com slash Robert We shot two episodes of the show.-self one time. Why do you say me? It's self-by-self. Everybody says me.

It's the only dream. You fucking mob told you those two. Love your children. I said, that's a fucking game. Listen, love your aunt first in your life. Listen, if your wife's not happy, at patreon.com.sus. Robert Kelly, I love you guys.

Cross the degree, not in between. If you're a member, if you love this podcast, if you watch this podcast on YouTube, become a member if you can. Patreon.com.sust.robercally. Join up, it's like, I think it's five bucks at the bottom level and you're in, you get the podcast first, you get, you get, you get, one-on-one, you get live from the shed, gym, no one in Anthony.

I think we're shooting our e-next week. I'm getting one of the big guys. I'm getting one of the big guys. I think we're shooting our e next week cool. I'm getting I'm getting one of the big guys. Oh, I'm getting one of the big guys live from the shed is y'all to hook this year. So when this new season starts I'm getting one of the big guys for you so you want to join become a member now. Patreon.com. St about kelly go join for a final show join that show uh... we listen to what you guys were saying it's uh... we're making a lot

easy for you to find those episodes all in one place on the patreon yeah we're working out the patreon figuring out all those episodes life in the shed be very easy for you to find uh... and of course this show uh... is up there before anybody gets it yes what else do we got michael uh... we can be creeps with kids at the Grand Machine Theater on the four work. Yeah, you take it, man. Almost sold out.

You know what? Almost sold out. Yeah, it's gonna be sold out. Special guest air probably as well. Yep. Maybe more of Jim's sick again. So. Yeah.

No, Jim's gonna be there. No, maybe more if he's sick again. I mean, Colin was there this week is what I'm saying. We're gonna have, we're actually gonna have his guest there in Atlanta and in the fucking blah, blah, blah Colin was there this week is what I'm saying. We're going to have we're actually going to have his guest there in in in Atlanta and in the fucking blah, blah, blah. Awesome. And you have Tampa also coming up.

Tampa coming up and do I with a group of kids? Oh, yeah, Tampa. That's a big one. Oh, yeah, creeps your kids.com. Buy you tickets. Gab, what do you get besides if you're watching live? You're going to be in. Oh, a Columbus Cincinnati for for Valentine's with the tap sprupporium, the walrus and the

Winchester Winchester this weekend Thursday Friday Saturday, Ohio. Get your tickets. Pack this place out. It's the perfect Valentine's Day. We dine, times day. Yeah, times day. All times day with me. Spend say with me spend it with me I'll tell you all the All the time. I spend you dude on Instagram probably at Robert Kelly live and probably Gabby at Gabby is Brian And I have a podcast called unabashed podcast. I have a bunch of monthly shows one at the stand called our time of the week First Tuesday of every month one of Brooklyn called jiggy with a show. First Wednesday of every month, then I have a new show coming. See you. What do you got?

Follow me on Instagram at Mike Vswores. You can also hear me on History Ahena's that podcast. I'll be at Gotham with the honest and Sergio at the end of the month and Uncle Vinnie's with the honest. Awesome. Thanks. What do you got, Chrissy? Oh, and we'll all be at Skankfest, too. No, um, thanks.

Thanks. Uh, not that cheesy. Yeah. What do you see? H E. Any why hang on one second. You're live on the podcast. Oh, hi, Don. Hey, hi, hi.

What is it? And you're all right. You never call me this late You're the what a flight question all right, okay, everything's okay Okay, yeah, what's the name of our bed Don What's that name what's the name of the bed? What's what do we call our bed? Jerusalem. Boom. What's the size of our bed? King. Bang. I love you. I'll talk to you later.

Bye. Paul has a queen bed. I gotta go. Bye. Bye. I'll see you guys. What do you guys? Spit it out. Come on. Oh, not that chaining C H E and E Y and Bible. He's merch. Remember to get brand new merch. I'm going to show you right now. Listen, he just did all these. You got the Y K W D Kelly face. We have we have listen, pajamas, sweatpants, shirt, dude, Y K W D right here. Look at that. We have the new rock and roll YKWD shirts you got the Beatles you got AC DC you got Bon Jovi right how fucking great is

that we got we got Van Halen and who's the fuck is that kiss we got kiss a bunch of them up there those are going on the site and we also have Wu Tang motherfucker YKWD Wu Tang, motherfucker. YKWD Wu Tang. We got the street sign. All the Sennu cigar one. Fuck you dude. That's insane. On the back, fucking, I love it. And you got the mug. We are the dudes. Get the mug. Get the get the fucking mug. Get a shirt. Join the Patreon. Become a member a member become a dude we are the dude zack what do you got? Zach the new guy see you guys next week you've been listening to the yk wd podcast thanks for listening

to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shining.

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