Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Fat Monica
Episode Date: November 20, 2017The Regulars Joe List Dan Soder and Luis J Gomez return for their take on the Louis CK news and wet neck kisses! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Bird.
This is gonna be a close to fucking.
It's not a bad show.
It's no rules.
What are the mic-ass holes?
I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?
Can I get a microphone?
No!
That's so fuck.
That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass.
I have a bunch of you guys on.
It's just us sitting down, yapping.
Sometimes it's hilarious.
Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin.
That's how it all holds the dots you love a part of.
I don't want to do anything.
My podcast is popular enough.
I might affect some of these lines.
You never know.
It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Popular I might affect some of these life you never know
I don't like it
Living in John at the end of Greece oh
Lucens or bad boy that she's found. Yeah.
Tell me about it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it.
You can smell it. You can smell it. You can smell it. You can smell it. You can smell it. She's hot, but she got a goofy voice. Oh, okay. Yeah Come on with some real project runway
Lovely face stupid voice, Dynaphya
Can I get a little more juice some headphones?
Yeah, you can have a scope. Hey, you can have a he's not new Chris Copa. Okay. That's a new guys act new guys act
Yeah, new Chris Copa is
a little more on how there it is is on that sweet chip show. Oh really? This is. It's on the chip show.
Oh, really?
This is new guys, Zach.
Oh, so you moved, you moved, new Chris Scopo.
You're at a breath.
I'm always at a breath.
I've learned that.
If you've listened to any of my videos on Instagram, I'm literally sitting in a chair
going, please be breathless.
Why do you have to microphone you fucking weird out?
Probably you're going to hate it. It's fun. Hey, could you turn my hands down? Yeah, can you have to microphone you fucking weird out? Probably you're gonna hate it.
That's not gonna be fun.
Hey, could you turn my cans down?
Yeah, can you actually turn mine down a little bit?
I like it blown out of the tits.
I like it.
It might be nice and loud.
I want to know.
I'm good right now.
Is that good? That's perfect.
What you just did is perfect.
Can you blast heavy metal music at all just through my can?
At all times, just through mine.
I'll blast something through your can.
Oh!
Hey!
How fun!
Fucking the ass. You know, what?
I thought we're having a thing where like dudes are united today.
We're not fucking with each other.
It's all penis on penis crime.
Yeah, we're just fucking gonna be taking shots at this one over here.
Which one?
Did the girl?
Why?
Why are we gonna take shots at her?
Yeah, this is men versus women right now.
That's not, it's not men versus women.
No,
tack on our fucking penises and balls.
Men versus women.
Gabby, guess what?
Now you can't leave.
Bro, that's from Goodfellas.
No, not Goodfellas.
From Bronxdale.
From Bronxdale.
Bronxdale.
Relax, when you jump that mic throat.
Well, they're not similar.
Can you just go put a bunch of people with just throw Bronxdale in there with Goodfellas
in the gut, they're like, The Goodfellas got by the Bronxdale.
The same guy, then it's, it's, it's, it's matter.
He's also in Marvin's room.
That was going to say that too. Bronxdale. That was their 30 grand Paul. God, by the, by the, guys, and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it fucking perfect. No, it's great. No, it's Texas. There we go. I don't even like a can.
Is he a DJ for like, Korn, what does he?
I don't understand what that is.
We just like a tattoo assistant.
Yeah.
I don't like that he has to punch up your jokes.
Dan, texting.
Men, men united.
Oh, no, no, no.
The court have a DJ by the way.
Yeah, yeah, they have a DJ.
Of course they do.
Why are you using two microphones?
Stop it.
You just give it a press conference. microphones stop it you just get a rest conference
I like it. It's a tiny mouth to big mics. We played a good game and
We're gonna we're gonna watch the tape make improvements my kids. I'm proud of my kids. I'm proud of my boys
I don't understand why it's meant against women. What does that mean?
Because Louis is provocative
He's what he's provocative body last word. I would have put it. That's what that He's provocative. He's not. It's the last word I would have put with
Louis. That's what that's why I just put a long article out called the
provocative life of Louis Jacob. No problem. Man. Oh, I read that
wrong. I am illiterate. Bobby don't play dumb. You know, it's a
war right now between men and women. And you had a fucking choose
aside. You know, everything. All right. Yeah. Sound is good. Yeah. He's
sure. Yeah. Are you getting all the sounds freaking out in the background right now? He's
dancing. Yeah. He's freaking out. Why are you freaking out? I'll make sure everyone
everyone's everybody's good. He's playing video games. The power went out. Uh, really
what we did in the last two weeks. So we had to reset everything. Take his microphone away.
What the fuck was that? That's my guess. That's mushy Mike. He talks once in a while and that was,
it's a mushy every time it drives me.
Mike, it's to the power went out.
No shit.
Yeah, we had to reset everything.
Okay, why are your forearms don't match the rest of your body?
What do you mean?
Nothing.
I just said that.
I should have said that.
It's a whole new team.
I've never met any of these people.
You've got me five times.
Very strange.
You, yeah, five times.
She's worked with you twice.
I know.
I know Mike for many years.
Yeah, I know.
A year, but I've never seen him here.
Yeah, he's the he's the he's the he's the he's the last December.
Yeah, he last December.
Yeah, but you weren't working on a show.
Oh, you were sitting in the back.
Do you count that time as one of my times?
Huh?
Can I take that off?
Cause that doesn't fucking.
Louis, you making him nervous.
No, he makes everybody nervous. That's right
You should be nervous around me. I'm the most powerful Louis and comedy now bitch
That was part of the gluey cats is way ahead of you
Louis Anderson is still got you to Louis Anderson. He's gonna be gone soon
Yeah, didn't he try to rape Tom cigar or somebody? Oh
No Tom Rhodes. That's it. He didn't try to rape Tom right? I swear to God, Tom Rhodes sold the story on this podcast. It got some traction
a bit of a Louie and here's in quarter to Minnesota, tell room and grabbed his dick and fucking tried to fucking
I was the road. It should be the road bag then. I need to retell it now. It'll it'll be the end of him. No, he did
He did talk about it recently on the thing. I'm saying now now changes say this moment
Who knows? This is your shot. I wake up every morning
and I just hit my to turn my computer on and like, oh, what's going to happen here?
Am I destroyed?
Lewis every morning. Is this the end?
Oh, it is. Oh, they counted all the times I said the end word.
Oh, 98. Someone put it in a YouTube video.
990 Naker times. That's just a fame barometer because I knew like nobody
Everybody wanted what is berthic what is rogue and think nobody asked what does Bob think about what happened to Louis
They would almost not one fan gave me shit for I haven't said a word about what happened to Louis
And not one word on social media and not one person what you need to give you if if you're not saying anything
Well, cuz that's your problem the people that are saying that you need to say something or bullshit
Yeah, that's all bullshit. That's all gang mentality. We're like I said something you say something
You have to say something because I you don't have to say shit. Right. It's very strange
It's all very strange everyone that everyone has their
Thing and they need to hear everyone else's thing. It's a very sick. It's a culture of it
Yeah, it's a culture of people yelling over each other much like this podcast, but we'll say it right now. We all stand with Louis
See this is where Lewis gets interesting because he takes hard he's a hard liner
Is the See, this is where Lewis gets interesting because he takes hard, he's a hard liner.
Is that right?
What am I going to do?
I see things black and white.
Am I going to say that, Louis, by being an adult man and asking a woman, hey, can I jerk
off in front of you?
Is that, does that make him a horrible person or a rapist or a sexual offender?
No, no, he should not be put in the same category as Harvey Weinstein or Kevin Spacey.
But it's a fat perverted chick.
Okay, wait a second. We're all perverts. Yeah, sure
Not everybody I'm joking on everybody. Yeah, I just go in real hard. I finished. We should all just take our dicks out and jerk on and so
Dirty I got a four dick salute. Yeah
Mike doesn't have a dick
No, I thought it was gonna be the four of us. I can't do that. Yeah, the staff that's they're using his job to that's power dynamics. Yeah, I'm Gabby. We're just kidding
My dick is a chef. She really does have a goofy voice. I don't
Know he
I said muppet once I said nothing
If she pops out of
To
Take it out
I don't feel like I'm going to say good. Please don't cut me down.
I'm feeling sorry for the flow.
And I'll say why this podcast is always so great.
And this is why we're all having fun right now.
It's because we're being trained to not shit on women.
And we're just treating like an equal.
This just happens to be the thing we're doing right now.
I know it is, okay?
But the problem is, it's really pretty cool.
10 years from now, when I got a hit show,
and she comes out, they made fun of me.
I want me a muppet.
If you watched the video.
I was cornered in the riot.
The only one that didn't say anything was the guy with the small mouth.
I figured his name, he's not in the business anymore.
He was feverishly jerking off.
So, can you guys from now on out of the business and you have a hit show?
Are you crazy?
It's my fantasy.
All right, fine.
Joe kind of looks like Beaker from the muppets.
Oh.
Hey.
I think your voice is regular.
I got a ready ready.
You're just playing that.
Hey, hey, stop, stop, stop.
What's up?
Let's say a few sentences.
How was your weekend?
It was really good.
You're so happy.
You're trying to pull me off.
I think you're done.
You have a boyfriend?
That's good.
No.
Why not?
I need multiple sentences.
Tell us about it.
You said so was cotton.
Why not vagina?
Why not vagina is this a hole for a hand?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Just a guy's hand that my ass right now.
If you came and made me a wall of clean up.
She was damn soda.
I don't know.
I tell you what I'll do in voices.
I stand with Louis, but not you three.
This is offensive. Well, back to Lou. Yeah, I don't with Louis, but not you three. This is offensive.
Well, back to Lou.
Yeah, I don't think he, I mean, okay.
He does not belong, this is what sucks.
This is what we're, I think this is what I'm having
a hard time struggling with.
You first of all, he's my friend.
Wait, he's my friend.
Ha, ha, ha.
Who?
Ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
That was, I'm not, I was the least as good not. I'm not. I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Mike when he laughs gets fatter. Like a blowfish? Guys are making me laugh.
That's all my friends.
Blowfish, Mike.
Guys, stop being humorous.
Picking out his chair if he keep being funny.
Leaking over the side.
Only so to know how a blowfish really does it.
Well, noise is in voices, baby.
I know it's a voices, the next album,
right off the press, from Skons' Records.
Oh, the white Michael Winter.
I, uh, I think that we're having a hard time
because, first of all, he's my friend.
I really love Louis.
He's done so much for me.
I'm, I had a kid because of Louis.
What?
Because he throws jizomethe in your car and put it in the car. No, because I talked to, I talked to him, kid because of Louis. What? Because did he throw his gizmo at you
and you caught it and put it in the pond?
No, because I talked to him at just for laughs.
Yeah.
When I first met him,
I'll hang out with him actually,
at the nasty show,
and we talked for days, you know,
and we became friends there.
And I...
At what point did he ask you
if you could trick her off in front of you?
Second day.
Yeah, he was,
because what are you doing? I didn't let him till Second day. Yeah. Yes, because what are you doing?
I didn't let up to the third.
Yeah.
Um, no, but he had a kid.
He made it to such a big load when he finally came.
He uh, that's the best.
It's called edging.
Yeah.
He, he, he, he, I was like, I like dance.
He uses, yeah, that's the best.
He really does.
He's called engine.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, we're close to the club. You don't call me like dog and then you like huge loads. Yeah, you're the best engine. Yeah, that's good. You're close to a company, you don't go home
and then you like huge loads.
Yeah, you're super silker.
Yeah, but if you don't,
if you don't do it for like four days before
and then do it, woof.
Four days.
Girls don't want you to end it.
You know, there's actually an antidote to it too.
If your wife is there, then it doesn't happen.
Girls, girls that bomb Dana perfectly.
I got it right here.
Girls don't like giant loads.
You know what I do? Cause my girlfriend girlfriend's a feminist when I eat her out and
said it's in the alphabet. I just write Trump on her pussy. There you go. All right.
Bang. Make sure that thing still works on all sides. That jokes. Wow. I saw I saw a sucky joke coming.
I we know those we know Lewis. We know Lewis. I call them lows. I call it. Louis. So well that he did bit voice at the end.
We're going instead.
That's a Trump.
Yeah, but then he did a three camera shoot look.
You went.
I should have did a Mr. Rope or just.
But I can't not try.
I sat on the show.
I yeah, please do make it funny. We love for you to try to do that. show. Yeah, please do. Make it funny.
We love for you to try.
I've been trying every time.
Listen, I think that it's because we're friends with them.
But I had my kid because if a guy like him,
I talked to him what a good daddy was.
What a, you know, I just was like, wow, if he can do it,
I can do it.
I was like, and we talked about being a dad and all that stuff.
And he was like, you should do it.
And he, and I was, it was like this turning point.
Like, when I was gonna get married,
or actually be with my chick for real,
I actually had a big conversation
with Colin Quinn about that.
Cause he had a situation we had,
he was married and things didn't work and blah, blah, blah.
And he gave me great advice on being married.
Now here I am married with a kid,
and Louis was part of that kid.
And I actually told him that like six months ago, I was like, you know, you're one of the
reasons I had a kid because I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I could be a
dad, you know. And so he was like, thanks, Bobby. You know, I feel like nothing can go wrong
in my life right now. Because yeah, what can I say? I'm 100%. There's nothing to worry
about with me. But I feel bad. You are okay. But the thing is, is that I think you have to, people are struggling with,
he's my friend. What happened to him is way too much.
We, it's, it's too much. It's, they took away everything.
I personally, I'm personally disgusted by his agents and managers dropping him
because it's such a shallow, obvious move.
Where they're like,
well, we don't work with him.
See, we're not bad.
We don't even condone that and it's like,
you fucking leeches.
That when the smoke clears in six months,
they start kicking around going, come on, buddy.
You know, I love you.
We just had to do that for the cameras.
What about the agents and managers
that are calling up trying to find out
what's going on with
his agents and managers. Oh, good for them. They're getting they're fucking getting a steam. Yeah, I got him coming
in for a meeting with cast digital next week. I'd be hilarious. All right, I'd be worried for Louis. I'd reach out to
a newer Joe and I'd be like, Hey, if you want like, tell Louis to go to Allen. He's on cast digital now.
He's on cast digital now. No, we're gonna call it.
We're gonna call it cum stain, a fluency K.
Michael Bissping.
Yeah.
I think that's where we're at now.
You have to, because everyone gets mad at you.
People are mad at a Z's for not leaving Dan Beckay.
That's it.
So it's like, but you have to do it.
It's not the manager's nature.
It's the whole culture.
No, that's his act.
They're mad at him for his act.
No, we got it. We got it. He's his act. They're mad at him for his act. No, we got it.
We, you know, you can't repeat it.
He's not a good comment.
What do you mean?
You didn't, you didn't.
I wish you had a puppet.
We could blame others on him.
Can I put my hand up your ass?
Oh, for the bed.
For the bed.
We need a bomb, dad.
That's why we need a, oh wait,
I didn't realize that was an attempted humor, dad.
No, you know what we do?
We need an attempt to muzzle. So you have to put a muzzle on.
Why would you even step on it?
He barely got out of that one.
I was his friend.
All right.
I put his hand out.
I put my hand out.
Dan's a good guy.
And I was watching Lewis.
Lewis was already on fire to my left.
So I looked at Joe and I went, we can get out of here.
Grab my hand.
California wildfires.
Hey, I'm a girl.
There's up there.
It's not a cool bro.
That's sensitive.
You're triggering me.
Well, do you have a girlfriend?
Do you have a new culture, bro?
You have a girlfriend?
No, my grandmother.
You know, I'm fucking my Nana.
You had one.
Again?
She said I'm going.
Hey, you shut up.
Yeah.
She's in all my wedding photos.
Yeah, dude.
Your grandmother was at Annabelle's.
I had so many photos of ex-girlfriends in my wedding.
There's like three big breakups right after my thing.
Oh, me? Yeah, one? Another not- my thing. Me yet one another not named names.
Name names Sarah Tallah.
Mosh.
Yeah, dude, he has like,
you who else?
I don't know who you liar.
I don't know the other.
Are you lying?
No, I sort of got one of them.
I'm gonna guess one.
I don't guess one.
Mark Norman.
No, I think they're together.
Okay.
But people bring girls.
Who is Lily? I wasn't there was Okay. But people bring girls. Really?
I wasn't there was no.
Why can't you say I'm not saying you were really nilly.
I was not really.
I was a very special person to me at that moment in time.
And your finger is making me uncomfortable.
You given me savage finger.
It's a very old nose.
She left me in a very tough spot.
Yeah.
Between the chicken and the fucking ham.
In between dessert and dance.
What a set of those.
Hang on, what's that again?
Have you seen his monster in the pressure?
Yeah, I've seen it in the favor of don't.
That was fucking crazy.
I've never seen him try to do module man.
That was fucking wow.
That was bad.
He was just watching.
He tried to go higher and he doesn't realize
that his voice is three octaves higher than much a man So you go higher
As I was doing it I went why are you doing this? I looked at Lewis and he was already staring at me like this it was bad
Also the fingers you did for much a man other fingers you use in your own act
You like dude you fucking fuck I got it. I got it. I got it out. I acting it out. I got to act it out. Yeah
What are you looking for tissue guys and that made me laugh and snort try to
Give me one to I came
She's hard to funny me. She's hot. What are you talking about? Stop it. I can hear you in the other room
I
Don't forget Hey kids, did you know if you eat carrots at night you can see better in the dark?
Do you know what a lever is?
That's Bobby! Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I'm learning my way. I'm learning my way. I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way.
I'm learning my way. I'm learning my way. I'm learning my way. I'm. Are you all fucking? Yeah, you are. Is that sweet? Oh my god.
Lewis has a roller dex of age of conservative. He did this with her and it took all the heat off of Louis.
Yeah. I'll do. What if I told you the problem went deeper. Lewis, Jay Gomez, there's some blogger,
Jerkin off while they write it. That GQ piece is fucking ridiculous. I come from the GQ. About all men.
All male comedians.
All men.
This fucking guy.
I read it.
Clearly, this guy clearly wrote this in order to impress a girl.
It's Teddy's like, right, ladies, look at me.
Aren't I muscular?
Those big guys are mean.
You know what I like?
Happy stuff.
Fucking cool.
You fucking tool.
And GQ, you should be ashamed of yourself.
But they had Kevin Spacey on the cover.
Louis on the, Louis on the,
they've had all these guys on the cover.
It's a sub-battery.
It's a sub-battery.
It's a sub-battery.
It's a sub-battery.
It's a sub-battery.
The name of the article, why all comedy men are so awful.
Isn't that, this is the best though.
We go, Google the article by GQ
about how men and comedians are all awful.
You type in GQ and it says Stephen cobert man of the year
Yeah, who is on the community?
Yeah, who's a male comedian? Yeah, it's just really convenient when they want to forget
When they want it when it's like a group right now like male comedians. That's the buzz word to fucking nail
It's like let's get male comedian there it is right there
And he's and he's the face of it. Like, comedy men.
Yeah.
Why all comedy?
So that doesn't mean you're stand up.
That means improv.
That means writers.
That means fucking you're saying all men and comedy.
And they all.
We all know that.
If you're a man, what's this guy's name?
Drew McGarry.
Oh, he's a humorist.
Look him up.
Anybody that calls himself a humorist needs to be hit in the head with a brick.
They pissing off.
They're not allowed to escape. Bond fire. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Don't agree. Hold on. Don't read this. He goes. I can tell you which articles to go to go which paragraphs because okay
He basically tells the story of Richard prior and why Richard prior beat on his wife and was terrible
But he was still funny because he was honest. Then he shits on kinesen
Go down because he really starts getting self-right down Mike. Yeah, okay. Don't Mike go down if you feel comfortable going
Damn my I'm doing on the knife because it's my e-kili for sure
I'm not doing it. On the knife, it's making me for sin.
I put a curse on old male comedies.
And you're the ones who make mead and cheese.
I'm not your old cast, your old dude.
On the last superograph, on those two are fucking heroes.
Read those, Lewis.
OK, now let's talk about that community for a minute,
because it's very insular and very protective.
If you go by the list of the greatest communities of all time, it's a community that is harbored a great number.
Perhaps it just did a little disproportionate number of misogynists, abusers, and shitbag.
Whoa, stop one second. That's good writing.
You're fucking calling people shitbags?
I mean, this guy is calling people shitbag.
I don't even mind being a massage interested
Viewer or a shit bag. Just own it. Stop pretending we're good dudes. Are you not realizing this?
Stop pretending. But you stop it. Stop it. You can be a good guy and a fucking and a shit bag
Also, you can have a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. You're a dude when you're with your father when you're with your son
Not your father because he's dead.
And he was just shit back.
First off, we're always with our father
because our father's God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Ah.
So we're always with our father.
Dan, I will throw hot tears in my face.
When you're man, we're trying to pick out communities to get.
Lewis has got the fucking jail people.
I'm going after Christians.
Joe's going after the silent time.
Gabby's going after Muppets.
Yeah.
Puppets.
So I think that we just, but you when you're saying ship bags and you're saying abusers,
abusers, misogynists is one thing.
Abuser is a fucking whole other thing.
Yeah, and it's a whole other definition of abuser.
Were all abusers.
It sounds like they're going every woman I've
ever dated has been like, oh, he's a motion
aluminum and epilivities fucking crazy.
Yeah, dude, because if you're in love with somebody,
that's where it fucking goes when it goes south.
You become emotionally manipulated.
You get you get under each other's fucking nerves.
You get each other a little bit crazy.
Every single thing about so much passion.
Thank God.
I love it.
My wife.
But also, passionless, Joe.
I'm, you're not going to deal with any of that. You are. You are. You are. Passionless. Passionless. I'm it my way. But also passionless, Joe.
You're not going to deal with any of this.
Yeah, you are.
Passionless.
Passionless.
I'm the most passionate guy here.
No, you're not.
Just because you fucking talk like an animal and wave your arms and skip around your dumb
fucking seat.
Doesn't mean your passion.
It means you're dumb.
Look, he's speechless.
No, I'm passionate.
I just like that they're describing comedians the way that it's like a 1920s like vagabonds,
dirt bags, grotesque.
The last thing you got.
The dozens of women say Bill Cosby is a rapist.
Woody Allen's daughter, Sessie Rape, Derr, a claiming has denied.
Actress Tisha Campbell followed the law of students more or less.
I never knew this.
Claiming sexual harassment and battery on the set of Martin.
Her husband's so severe that she apparently had producers banning from the set of his own show. That is some fucking the set of Martin. Harassment, so severe that she apparently a producer's bandin from the set of his own show.
That is a fucking power there, Martin.
Yeah.
Martin was banned from the set of his own show.
Okay, that's how crazy it was.
Realized it to the week.
Oh, shit.
Even what we know about Holly with these days,
it's a wonder that they can accommodate her request.
These are not sad clowns.
These are very famous, very powerful men
who in hindsight appear to have used comedy to master the truth more than
Illuminate it. In fact, it's telling that CK fell upon the quote unquote, I have issues defense when woman woman said she confronted him about jacking off in front of women
When confronted comedians of a nasty habit of defense
Everybody does it's called being accused of something you get defensive when you're accused of something this guy's a fucking moral
of the responsiveness and playing up the background issues that drive up the crave yucks and for too
long in the comedy world is indulged that ruse letting a guy like ck invite your pity if he can
get laughing he's not inviting your pity he's getting laughs at you but he's one of the greatest
comedians but he just doesn't like that type of comedy he's an a lot of idiot but a lot of people
oh by the way you can also find this guy on
Arty Lang's podcast, just yucking it up about regular shit.
So if you want to see, yeah, it's pretty convenient
that this guy, all of a sudden now,
is a fucking truth teller.
And on the side of, I don't agree with that.
When he fucking, he talks about Arty and the article, right?
Yeah, he talks about Arty and then like the article.
Hey, there he is, Joe Lisbon.
By the way, he just talks about a scene from Louis where Louis takes out that heckler and
says like, you know what's that famous line where he's like, hey, look, a cunt's giving
birth to a cunt.
And because she talks and this guy's like, now, yes, I know it's fictitious.
But what does it really say?
And it's like, dude, you're fucking digging for nothing now.
You look like an asshole.
You look like a, like, I hope in five years, or however long it is when all this calms down,
we bring this back up to this guy.
No, it's two years.
He's trying to manipulate the narrative
because he wants people to like his style of comedy.
He's trying to talk about this, our comedy,
Louis style comedy.
Louis just does comedy. I don't
think it's a different thing. I think he just is a very good comedian, but he's very honest.
He's very honest with what he talks about. He talks about, you know, calling his kid
an asshole or he brought it even his show was a reflection of his life, which is brutally
honest as opposed to a three camera shoot of five friends that live in New York and have problems.
That's a horse shit show.
Louis was one of the first shows to actually show to show his friends.
What's that?
Friends was a good show.
That was six people.
It was fucking annoyed me.
You never had a grand problem.
I thought I had a grand problem.
Well of course, but I mean I thought it was fucking a dialogue before I think it's 90s.
You know, I was a big fan of Chandler.
It wasn't people that are reminded of people and so you know I kind of identify. I was more of a Joey. I get it's 90s. You know, I was a big fan of Chandler. It wasn't people said I
reminded of people and so you know, I kind of identify. I was more of a jelly. I get it, dude.
You're kind of the Ross. Yeah. I hate Ross. He's the worst character. No, he's a nerd.
He's a dinosaur. I hope you guys all get AIDS. Oh, well, leave it. I hate the show
friends and I hate my own friends See any
Sentence Joe's ever said you guys could all be the bitches in the other apartment
So Bobby your we got it fat one. What was there?
No, I should be fed a baby
Rachel Rachel no, no, Monica Monica Monica
No Monica Monica Monica Monica
Show fat Monica show me look just like him. I don't look like Monica. Who's Monica? Monica Courtney Cox from friends. I think her last name is Lewinsky. Hey
Images images might do it. Thanks at Google
Wow, that is the shirt in the bottom left.
That's 100% Bobby.
You're such a Monica.
Why is fat mine ever news?
Wow.
That and then she is
definitely like Gabby's Phoebe because she got the goofy voice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm with the goofy voice.
And then you guys are together.
You guys make Rachel.
That really is me guys.
I like it.
Nobody because no one brown was ever on the show.
Go back to the go back to the other page.
Yeah, that was the time when you could just be like, Hey, dude, all white cast dogs.
And the NBC went like this. Good.
If one of the, if one of the remains was black, they constantly accusing them of ceiling shit.
I think Tyrone. Where are my keys?
If man, I should have never taken a sublet.
I think it's a bullshit ass sublet.
I think that this guy is renting the couch
Robert's ready to get things back on track. I shut the fuck up. All right. We use side conversations. It's funny
I know it's shut up
Bobby, I'm sorry about those guys. No, it's okay take over
Go ahead, fat man.
Hey.
What the fuck?
Oh, I'm gonna miss this.
But this guy and the guy, who's the other guy?
The guy.
I mean, they're all latching themselves on to this.
They're writing both of them writing articles out of their own depth.
They don't know what they're like.
Guy Brannum wrote an article about burning down
the seller table, but he the boy.
No, I didn't know it was burning.
So the boys club at the seller table.
Yeah, but then which doesn't exist when people push back on him, he immediately fell
to the argument of it was metaphor.
It's not metaphor.
It's it's your terrible than you're a terrible writer.
And you have your own TV show.
So I know you're not that bad of a writer.
No, he he walks into the seller and like me still to the everybody feels uncomfortable walking to that back table
I constantly do and I look at what I'm wearing and be like
Can I finish a thought without you yapping over it? Sure. Yeah, you stupid fuck
Sorry, Bob. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I know you're fucking have your own show, but let me have mine for one second
Big J show. Yeah, that's true.
Both of you guys are right.
Um, I think that everybody feels intimidated
walking back there.
It's not a boys club.
It's, I feel fucking, it's a good comedian club.
It's a men's club.
You should feel intimidated walking back to that table.
It's, it's, that's what the table is.
Yeah, and we're in, and we're in.
And he's not in it.
And so he feels because of his own insecurities,
he added some type of monster to that table. And it's not in it. And so he feels because of his own insecurities, he added some type of monster to that table
and it's guys, it's straight men.
And it's not.
First of all, there's a lot of gay guys that sit at that table
and most of the straight men are fucking queens anyways
would fucking love trans to be at that table.
If there was trans comedians, you know,
do you know how much most of the straight guys at that table would love a hot tranny, not even just a regular trans goes to be at that
table.
Top of some of the top comics at the seller would want that.
Yeah, Norton would never have to leave and go somewhere else.
Yeah, he never rode the road.
Just constantly right there, but it is, I think a lot of this, this kind of culture and this
like, they want to take the intimidation out of everything.
Yeah.
Because they, they're uncomfortable with intimidation out of everything. Because they're uncomfortable with intimidation.
Because intimidation means that someone means behind it
and that's just like, like you said,
they're attributing a monster where there isn't one.
Yeah, but okay, so burn the fucking table down
and let me in your club, guy.
Oh, they won't.
Let me in your fucking, your festival club
that I don't get to go to.
Well, even when I do, I'm not even part of it.
I'm on the outskirts of it somehow. I do, I'm not even part of it. I'm on the, I'm on the skirt, the outskirts of it somehow.
Now, let me into your industry part of it.
Let me on your show.
Let me go to your fucking parties.
You spend your life making people feel uncomfortable around you.
And then you blame us for what are you doing?
What are you talking about?
And if you're going to be gay, you can't be that fat.
I got to be honest with you, you know, that your role just you know
I wondered your your gay dude
You're talking about me. Yeah, he's not talking about it. It's fun if you shut your eyes as pretend he is
I look that's why I'm mad. I look just like the guy you really do a little bit of a guy brand of more
I've I've seen that guy a few times. I've said hi to him and I've gotten he's like no, it's guy
What times I've said hi to him and I've gotten he's like no it's guy. What the
good joke. What was it? I said, I said, no it's guy. Yeah, I mean, I mean, the
flaw in the joke I think is you would never say, I saw Soda, I said, I said
Dan to him. That's where I think it doesn't line up. I'm literally laughing at my
jokes though. Yeah, you laugh at all your jokes. That's good.
But this guy for GQ's is trying to pile on.
He's just a pile on it.
Well, they're all trying to fucking pile on.
Don't you think?
Don't you think?
Don't you think a lot of people are trying to pile on to this?
Where, first of all, you can't really give your honest opinion about it.
No.
Because you'll be a lot of people, I mean,
it's very nuanced.
There's a lot of people.
I mean, it's very nuanced.
There's a lot of things, because people like,
oh, fuck these girls too, a dick shouldn't offend them.
I mean, I had to really think about that and go,
you know what, that's not true either.
I'm not fuck the girls, but here's the thing.
If a guy says to you, okay,
hey, I would love to masturbate in front of you.
And that sends you into fucking shocks
where you can't work anymore.
You have a fucking problem.
Can I give you a little food for thought
that I had?
I would love food, but I don't think it's allowed
in the studio.
What happened?
I think that, okay.
Sorry, Mon.
Laser.
If you, I was just in a Marin about this topic,
because Mark Marin, he's very
good friends with them too.
And he said something that was interesting to me, because he said, you know, and you're
giving somebody a memory that they don't want forever.
Welcome to life.
I know, but, but that's what this memory forever.
But I got to have it.
I'm here.
But that's, like, I, and I gotta have it, I'm here. But that's like, and I was like,
do I have any of those memories?
And I remember when I did my step in AA
with a priest friend of mine, Father Ed,
we did this amazing four step.
It was this, to do your first four step
in alcoholics anonymous is a major thing.
And the person you do with, it's a major thing too.
And I did it with him.
I did it with him.
And the full step was when you write down
all the things you've done wrong, that you carry with you.
You blow a priest.
And you tell somebody else, another human being.
You literally just, it's a purge.
It's almost like a confession.
And I did it with him.
And then at the end of it, this is a guy
that I've known for years. And at the end of it, this is a guy that I've known for years.
And at the end of it, we stood up and he hugged
and then he kissed me on the neck,
like soft kiss me, wet kiss me on the neck.
You wanna see me, you wanna see me?
Boater check, come on.
Come on, then.
You know what I'm gonna tell you this?
Just hugging in this robe gets me good.
But it really, it really fucked me up.
Yeah.
No, I have that.
Now, here's the thing is, why don't you just leave?
Why don't you just say something?
Why don't you just say, no, it was 17.
And it's still young.
But it's like, it's 17, 18, maybe 18.
Hot, Bobby.
Hot.
Well, no, do you,
I agree.
18, no problem with the story here.
I swear to God, if you want a child, I know.
But before I hit that fucking story, you got to relax a little bit. I swear to God, if you're not a child, I know, but before I hit the other fucking story,
you gotta relax a little bit.
I was just so right over him.
No, I understand, he's got a funny line,
he wants to get it out, it was pretty good.
In the 18 hop hobby, I get it.
What I'm saying is that I have that with me to this day.
And when I think about it, when it happened,
I didn't tell anybody, when it happened,
I didn't say stop, I didn't go, what the fuck are you doing?
It happened, I froze.
I was like, what the fuck was that?
And then I was like, okay, I'll see you later,
if I had a head and I left and I was fucked up.
I was like, I wanted to go tell my sponsor,
who's a big iron worker guy from, you know,
and I didn't tell anybody,
because I was fucked up about it.
Like father, head, my friend,, I'm like shit. So you can't, Dan go first.
How wet of a kiss was it like a oh my.
You want me to show you?
Give me a hand.
I don't know, I don't want to see this.
This is gay.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Uh, Dan go first. How wet of a kiss was it like a oh my. You want me to show you?
Give me hand.
I don't know.
I don't want to see this.
This is gay.
Just kidding.
Oh, you did it around with you.
You know what would have been funny?
The fact that your hand is salty.
Yes.
I go last.
It's the last is best.
It's the time to go.
Yeah. I gotta be honest with you, yes, I understand it's a little is best. I'll take that out of your point.
I gotta be honest with you, yes, I understand it's a little bit traumatic and I understand
something that you affected you.
No, I didn't, I did not get over it.
I got over it Lewis, but I have it with me.
Yes, but that's a part of life.
You're gonna deal with adversity.
You're gonna deal with things and I dealt with crazy or shit.
I've had my mom like fuck me up and tell me really fucked up things and I've had people,
I've seen really fucked up shit as a little kid that like I've blocked out and I've like my mom like fuck me up and tell me really fucked up things and I've had people I've seen really fucked up shit
As a little kid that like I've blocked out and I've like pushed down like what and what I mean like the power
Let me make the point
My dad being stabbed to death like that's your experience. No, but if he started to be Batman
I have video of it check it out
I No, no, no. F surveillance. But I, you, you, Walmart, you don't get to, we, as human beings, we don't get to play
victim nonstop and get to get to draw from that nonstop and life and get to go, oh my
God, well, this is just my experience in life and I'm a victim.
People that do that are not successful.
That girl, no, that girl, the girl at the show, what happened now, we don't know what
happened.
This is the one thing that sucks about all this Louis admitted to it
Accepted it said you know said sorry whether people he didn't write the word sorry fuck off. Oh that was okay
It's too much. He did that but we haven't heard his side
You don't know the new launches of these conversations what happened with those girls
Did was there so you're saying that he said we'll go back to my room
They walked up to the room no conversation got to the room. He got naked. They left fuck you
Did we go back to a man's hotel room? I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck if this is for young men and women
You go back to a dude's hotel room. Yeah, let me explain to you something. He's trying to fuck you really if Ryan Hamilton takes
Somebody back I'm pretty sure they're gonna get ice cream
I'm pretty sure they're gonna watch goonies and get ice cream from
If I have a daughter one day Lenny Marcus invite you back to your room. You're gonna be fine. Yeah
There's not every guy. No, but I'm telling you know
You're gonna be fine with most guys 99% of the guys that are out there. You're gonna be fine with that's not the point
They're trying to fuck you that doesn't mean that you're not fine
Try even Lenny Marcus is trying to fuck you. doesn't mean that you're not fine. Try even let him or kiss is trying to fuck you
It may be no machine. Hold on any may not seven years. He may never get the fucking job done
But what happens is you are the guys who become powerful famous rich successful guys who have game guys who are confident
Those guys are told you can't have any of that anymore and that's crazy because if it's about the power and about being successful
Then technically I can't hook up with any woman that's less successful than me. They don't exist.
This is it. I'm done. He's a success story. There's nobody less successful than him. Yeah,
so successful at the bottom. No, he sang it to the bottom. Oh, yeah, I took it.
Because there's nobody beneath him because he's there. Yes. He's literally at the bottom of the stage. You have to walk up the homeless woman and go,
Hi.
Hi.
I want to watch her jerk off.
And they go, not again.
They go, sorry.
But you want to say, like, if you're, if your thing is to jerk off in front of women, right?
Yeah.
That's not, I don't think that's crazy.
We all have sexual perversions.
If this was a woman and it was a panic, it was a rich woman.
If it was a rich woman who liked to finger herself in front of pull boys,
people would be applauding her, exploring her sexuality and her being brave and her figuring
out what she's into.
She got a groove back.
Yeah, not a baby.
Louis was trying to get his groove back.
Hey, maybe, no too much of a stretch.
Look, we haven't heard the details of the thing, but you can't just dismiss these, you
can't just dismiss the people's, these girls feelings.
You can't just say, you're fucked up. feelings. You can't just say, fuck them.
You should know better or it's just checking off.
But can I, I'll say this, every woman I've talked to in my life,
my mother, people, my mother's friends, horse, my,
I mean, if you want to break it down,
they were like, I don't see what happened.
Nobody cares.
Our business cares.
The entertainment business cares.
Well, because nobody covers up a lot of other darker shit
by exposing this.
This is easier for the business to be like,
see, we're good people.
We're taking care of this.
My mother is so disgusted by this.
She wanted to start a petition.
She wanted to go get all her friends to sign a petition to get Louis, Louis stuff back because she does not understand.
Neither do I.
And she goes, you know, me, Dix, I've seen in my life that I didn't want to say we're adults.
But times have changed.
You know, you're right, but times have changed and he shouldn't be asking him to see his
deck at work, but it's simply a conversation between him and the producers.
It's a conversation between him and that woman. It's an apology or whatever it needs needs to be it is not a conversation for millions of people to be a part of your sexuality
Is your sexuality dude?
But we're just that you're into nobody has a right to fucking take that out and drag it through the mud
And if this was a woman, it would be called slut shaming it would be called fucking
They don't hold women to this standard. It is specifically a bigoted attack. What do you mean? We don't hold women to the standard?
We don't mean example. we don't hold women to the stand in we mean example? Tell me more bro
G.I. Jane you see that video what do you even see that pull it up?
Demi more
I'm here with the 14 year old right now Abby just flashed us she misread hold up Gabby sorry
I want now I want
G. I want everybody look at these
They were made of their made of pink felt
They got Google eyes on nipples
We got a some of our Gabby Kadebby it's the internet connection. I don't understand. What is this? What?
Pedophile incident what?
The 14 year old.
You lying.
What a hot she was back then.
Super hot.
God, let's get him all blown up.
What is this?
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember. I can't remember. I can't remember. I Demi Moore. Turn up the volume. He's like good jokes. Are you mad at me? Are you kidding? How hot is she?
Oh, fuck off. Dude, she was hot, huh? I never see the picture of her.
No sound. Okay. One more time.
Two. 14. Yes.
I'm the youngest producer in Hollywood
I like I play Louise manager I love mom and I hope they all love me
and I love them
fuck yeah
we meet again
publicity or out of your business
absolutely
if we're being totally honest
if this was reversed
can you imagine this?
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
can you imagine the way
what you said
are you kidding me
i literally want to pretend i'm that kidding
look at her eyes
look at her eyes
look at her eyes
look at her eyes
i mean
you have a mother fucking more but seriously honestly if this was reverse gender
What do you think the reaction would be if that was a training I'd come if that was that's a
Hoppin a 14 year old girl over this video would be Roman Plansky. I mean what would happen? Well, he raped the girl, but
That's it's a really Gabby Gabby as a as the only woman in this room right now
That's what we said Gabby. As the only woman in this room right now. Hey, that's what you think.
Thank you.
What do you think about that?
What do I think about what?
That.
That's gross.
That's gross.
I mean, but that's a little, you know, she looks like she's on
something.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
There you go.
She's playing it up for the camera, you know what I mean?
I just don't understand why they're only going after
male comedians right now.
It's all like all only male comedians.
Harvey Weinstein is one of the funniest comedians out there.
Guys, killer.
Guys got a killer in 15.
Because that's the flavor of it.
It's the flavor of the month right now.
Is to go after male comedians.
But they're not gonna have to go out.
What do you mean?
It's not a flavor of dust and hot.
It's like these art of the whole life.
It's been going on for a month.
No, but I'm saying like now they'll shift from,
it was like shifting for producers.
I think that the door was open with real pieces of shit,
like Harvey Wein's team, spacey.
The door was open and now what people do is,
they take their agenda and latch it onto something
and go as far as they can with it.
And this guy tried to latch on so we could take this table
down, get people against the comedy
seller, a club that he's not in, a club that he's probably doesn't like because what it
represents to him, which is stupid.
Guy, come down to the club, hang the fuck out.
You know, no more, I don't watch a set.
No more to set and actually laughed.
He's like, he never auditioned, but he's actually funny.
Guys, a pro. Yeah, I like the pro. He's like, he never auditioned, but he's actually funny. Guys are pro. Yeah. I know guy. He's a funny comment. And if he came down
and sat at the table, everybody would, I don't know. He would be fine. It just showed he didn't
know what he's talking about with a seller when he's like, by the way, this table where you'll
get laughed out of the place, if you say Kesha is better than Bruce Springsteen, you're like,
that's a great seller conversation. I think Kelly Clarkson is way better than Bruce Springsteen.
So bring it. Like, let's have that conversation with
Lasha. Are you supposed to carry Kelly Clarkson?
I would listen to before Bruce.
Sit you been gone.
Yeah, well, you know, I like I think everything that what's your name does.
So moving on.
I'm starting big.
The big new trend.
The big titted one.
Who?
The black hair.
No, the black hair big fat Kelly Kelly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no her songs are fucking amazing and I could cry at some of the songs. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christ has a 14 year old.
So what are we gonna do?
What are we, I hear's a deal, right?
We don't want to look at her face anymore.
We're gonna have, we're gonna get Gabby to make out with a fucking 12 year old and see how
to do.
Bring them in.
Hi, do you want to kiss me?
Hello kids.
I don't know you like her all the time.
Oh God, do I love her.
Look.
Oh, I love her.
She's like her because she's attainable. She's not. She's not attainable. If I saw Kelly Clarkson, I, do I love it? Look, oh, I love it. She's like a she's attainable.
She's not. She's not a table. If I saw Kelly Clarkson, I would try to fuck her. What does that mean?
Is that a shot? Yes. 100%. How do you how do you meet her if you have a shot?
I'm probably eating somewhere. Yeah. You're a miss food court. I'm like,
miss, please put that down. Here's a
foot of cheese for us. Can you know fat shame, please? What? Yeah, I'm gonna fat shame too. Bobby's
I'm gonna fat shame. I'm gonna CAD call. I'm gonna fucking be on Louie's side. One more
One more thing that I got one more thing. I got a I'm gonna be good dad to baby James
Pretty pretty cool thing. That's it. Yeah, so no, but Bob. Yeah, I've I've dealt with my own experience
It's me and me and Dan was talking about the far got here Yeah, so no, but Bob. Yeah, I've I've dealt with my own experience. Is this me?
I mean, Dan was talking about the far got here.
I understand that, but my point wasn't that you don't get over it.
My point was that you have it forever.
And if you had the chance not to have it,
yeah, if you had that opportunity,
you know, if you had the opportunity not to have it,
if someone didn't have the opportunity,
you have the opportunity.
Now, one, no, nobody should be able to click a button
and say, oh, my bad memories in the world are gone. That's what I'm saying. I'm the man. Now, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That clicker boy dude shut the fuck up what dude immediately said what click a media shut up cabbie
The meat he said now we know I don't know the name
Shut up Joe
Here come the man and bark
Listen galaxy
All right now I just want to get you all that too. I have my good. Yeah, I know my hand raised answered by the way
You what the four-step thing I'm the only one that's done for step
Let me just get my thing. I'm the only one that's done for a step.
I'm just gonna hand picked.
I'm saying that she immediately went
to the people and said, I'm done with this.
Like that bothered me.
And they had a deal with it.
So that, you know, I mean, that sucks.
But here's the thing.
And Lou, but here's the thing, Louie.
Said I'm sorry.
Said, look, I fucked up.
I did some fucked up shit.
I own it all.
And I guarantee that his manager, his agent, I don't know, but I did some fucked up shit. I own it all. And I guarantee that his
manager, his agent, I don't know, but I would say that he would say, look, guys, go do
your thing right now. You don't want to be around me. It's not enough. Yes. Take down the
pector. I don't think I don't think them. I think he had something to do with that.
Of course. I think you're right. Take down. I can't. I was not going to show up at comedy
clubs right now because he's going to put comedy clubs in a position Yeah, not the seller. No one's already said you come down right the fuck now put you up. No, no, I'm as backing Louis
She as he should loves Louis of course as he should loves Louis good
And we do too. Yeah, Joe your turn
Well, though when you did the fourth step kiss and the neck thing it would have been fun
I've after he kissed you the neck you pulled a pen out from your jacket went, I got to add a resentment. It would have been fun. If I had done it, you
know, 75. I wasn't in fucking shock in horror. I just got kissed by a fucking six year old
priest. Do you think he said you were salty too? Yeah. How was that? If you got kissed in the
neck, that was creepy. Even just thinking about it on my hand. Yeah, I mean, I've just like,
you want to feel it? Yeah, give me some. Come here.
Come on with this.
Where are we turning into here?
Go away once it on the neck.
We're coming to a very woke podcast.
I was knowing I'm getting a photo of this.
I'm just never done it out.
We have audio.
It's a compliment.
That's it.
You know, you liked it, Bobby.
He liked you.
Lewis lives a very central life.
How was that kiss though?
It was nice.
It was a nice look.
Can I give you a smile?
Yeah, can I give you a scenario?
Can I just give you an scenario?
I'll just give you an scenario.
Bobby can kiss like a mother fucker.
Can I give you an scenario?
Wait, stop putting your hands up your APS.
You're such a Joey.
So, I don't like them, the fat kid.
What about the fat monica?
What about the fat monica?
You're fat monica.
Fat mon.
I don't even know fat.
I never watch this show.
Fat. We don't have a Rachel. It really is just Phoebe Fatmonica and then the three boys. You're fat mom! I'm not even watching the show. I'm fat.
We don't have a Rachel.
It really is just Phoebe, Fat Monica, and then the three boys.
So here's the deal, okay?
If you say here's the deal, you get five more here's the deal before we get all throw
something at you.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal.
All right, all right. Come on.
I got to say the deal. Say the deal. So I have why was that so fun?
It is how you deal with your personal shit. Now I was sound down a story, okay? I dealt with some shit a few years ago when I did Montreal
But what I want to do is let me tell the scenario guys hang on a second. What are you doing?
He's blowfishing. Yeah, don't traffic. Don't swap the microphone. Let me tell the story from the perspective of
A fucking we're gonna do a time to kill. I want you to close your eyes. And imagine
some woman a female comedian. Okay, a young comedian. It's summer in Quebec. It's
like talking about nice and humid. Uh, smell the poutine. Yep. Coming out the sex
shot. I'm hard. There's a young Puerto Rican comedian. I see him. No, hard.
I see him.
I see her.
She's fucking hot.
Oh, she got tattooed.
Wow, she's more body than face.
Well, she's not.
Oh, the face is decent.
She's mostly gone.
She's staging, but yeah, whatever.
I see her face.
She's middle age.
Yeah.
No, she's 37.
She's a young comedian.
She's 28.
She's definitely up there in the underwear.
She's walking out of a... She's walking out of a safe Catherine. She's not up there in the unwrap. She's walking out of a...
She's walking out of a St. Catherine's.
She's not regular new face.
She's coming out of a pizza store and
St. Catherine's here.
There's obviously an answer that's the
why she's there.
She's wearing her badge around her neck
because she's never been here before.
And doesn't realize that she's real out at the
fucking company's parties.
So she's all wide eyed.
She's ready to go.
So she goes and does some showcases
and she meets an agent from one of the most powerful agencies.
One of the big three letters.
One of the big ones.
C-A-N-A.
Oh, see, N-A-N-A.
It's not a word.
It's C-A-N-A.
Yeah, hey.
So it's what?
C-C-A-N.
So she meets this agent, okay.
A-B-C.
Agent.
Agent.
Ah, no!
It's not the seal! Yeah, I've got your triggering. Kedoba. Oh, Elliot. It was this agent A.B.C. A.G.E. Agent. Ah, no! It's not the seal!
Yeah, I've got your triggering.
Kiddoba.
Oh, Elliot.
It was an A.G.E.
Agent.
Yeah.
You are kind of a friend of me.
That's a Mockerain Ready Savage's A.G.E.
cousin.
We're some round of skin.
My name is Randy.
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
That's a savage.
Oh, yeah.
There's nobody funny on radio. There's nobody funny. Dude, Can I just be the fourth mic on anything you do?
I'm a quick comedy. I just want to be different when they isolate the audio and destroy my career at all of you.
I have. I'm back. So you're back and then Randy Wong.
So this young female comic she meets this.
You mean Ronnie Chang?
I'm sorry.
Is that a thing?
Sorry. Bobby Kelly he means Ronnie Chang
Bobby Kelly just called Ronnie Chang Randy Wong
Can I not say that funny no it's really funny
No, it's not before the articles written Bobby. It's like when when the role is known. I tweeted that text it to you You can't ever talk about text messages. Oh, Matt
Good terrible now it's even worse. It's like when the rolling stone
My life let Lewis finish
finish. Let's go. Ah,
so
really good.
Okay.
So,
it's going to sound bad now.
You look,
but you look worse,
but not let me say I look worse.
Anyways,
guys, back to that
Quebec night.
It was an Asian.
It was an Asian.
It was an agent.
Agent from NBC.
Yeah, it was an NBC.
NBC agent.
Cut to the chase. Can we please please can I be the puttering girl?
Hello guys, okay, thank you for coming. I love being here much. Oh my
Perfectly honest, I don't know
I don't know that body
We I don't know that body knows. This is you. What's up with stupid eyeballs? You're past that a lot of ass.
I hate being a mommy.
Well, being a mommy's heart,
you like to see your kid and you like,
it's my baby gonna be a pussy.
I think nobody can help me.
No. I'm not good at from a my baby
She sounds like she's great. Yeah, I just kill him you could tell she would be a super
I mean real-ass chick
So this is not feel like a material blows
Maybe I don't get it
Do you understand us for did this show every week? We'd be multi millionaires.
Maybe you fucked up dude.
You know, I did not.
You guys all left me.
No, you got a show in serious.
You could have locked us down.
I'll lock you down now.
I'll give you a fucking 25 25 25 25 dollars.
No, percent percent.
Percent percent.
It's called the regulars.
Every single one I can call it.
Why can't I be there? No, we'll call the regulars. The regulars. Yeah, we It's called the regular's, every year. We're not gonna call it YGWD.
No, we'll call it the regular's.
The regular's.
Yeah, we'll call it the regular's.
When we turn that into a radio show,
once you dump my calter and do a show with us.
What are you talking about?
Didn't you do on a radio show at my calter?
Or was that one time thing?
Maybe.
I love my calter.
My arch enemy, my calter.
He's not your arch enemy.
Enemy, my arch enemy.
Eminem is calv-face.
You got a radio show, so dick. Guys, let's get back to the issue. Yeah enemy. M&E is foul face. You got a radio show.
So dick.
Guys, let's get back to the issue.
Yeah, go back.
We're in Quebec.
We're in Quebec.
It's young Quebec.
This young Quebec.
Equipic.
There's a young heart.
Puerto Rican.
The agent comes up to this young Puerto Rican girl and the agent's like, look, I fucking
think you're great.
I want to I want to fucking work with you.
I'm going to sign you. And the young Puerto Rican girl's like, look, I fucking think you're great. I want to, I want to fucking work with you. I'm gonna sign you.
And the young Puerto Rican girls, like, that's incredible.
Agent says, don't even meet with another agency.
I'll be furious if meet with another agency.
Then the whole week in Montreal.
This is Asian hot.
No, agents are unattractive, you know,
not never attractive, a little heavy set.
Heavy set man.
Heavy set dude, heading on this hot Puerto Rican woman.
Why young Puerto Rican girls?
Jesus.
So now at this point, the whole. Why young Puerto Rican girls? Jesus.
So now at this point the whole week on the Puerto Rican Girls' hip won't leave her alone.
They're getting drunk together, the party and little weird things like the agent touches
the Puerto Rican girls' ass.
Grab the Puerto Rican girls' dick.
Nice.
Really? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's a hard spoiler He grabbed the pussy go for real, but yeah, the engine grabs the pussy. Wow. He grabbed the ass pussy
Oh
God we're gonna get a season to see for me honest
He's gonna shut down this whole thing
You can't do that no more
Which character is gonna serve it
Mr. Bono says you cannot do this character. So age grabs girls pussy.
And the girls is kind of like that.
How big was the pussy?
6.5.5.
Can I say this?
The pussy get heavy after the agent touched it?
No, because it's the pussy cut or uncut.
Yeah, that's a good question.
But the comedian, she's just kind. Oh, that's a good question.
But the comedian, she's just kind of like, you know what?
She was the agency, fuck it.
Like, I don't even give a shit.
Yeah, I'm just trying to...
Because she's a whorebag.
She's like, she's like, yeah, that's her problem.
She's the same, fucker.
I'll take anything.
I want it all.
Give it to me.
Gas digital.
Merch pop.
Fuck everybody.
She deserved what she got.
Yeah, got it.
So, they, uh, they go back to New York after the festival.
Wait a minute, they didn't go back to a room.
They never went back to a room.
But they come back to New York.
They come back to New York.
Together?
No, they come back to New York.
They meet up the offices and NBC offices
fucking meet the other agents.
Then the next night, the agent invites a young
Puerto Rican girl over her apartment
now the agent is married. Oh, okay.
Agents wife gets drunk goes to bed. Hang on one second. Oh, yeah, before you finish the story, I gotta do a
re-walk. This is perfect.
They're gonna have to fucking listen to the read phone time. They're gonna have a smile. I like it. I like deep discount.com.
People.
What the hell?
I love this company.
Bobby, you're so smart.
Deep did they get actually me on the front up there.
Deep discount.com is my favorite website.
That makes sense.
Not that's not a you have fucking piece of garbage.
It's one of my favorite sponsors and I actually go here and buy stuff
all the time. Last week I just bought the, excuse me, oh my god, I bought, what the hell
was this movie called dudes? I just bought it. Dude? Yeah, it's called dudes, so I bought
it. That's an old lady's movie, right? Yeah. Anyway, anyways, deep discount, dog, loyal
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The savings are ridiculous.
And right now, look, guess what?
What?
The savings are even more ridiculous.
It's nuts because the entire site is on sale.
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No need to leave your house
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Just see for yourself.
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Yeah. Did you sign up for it? I did. What are you doing?
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Watch them when you want. Check it out now now. Thank you deep discount back to Lewis. Hey guys
we're back the rape story of this little Puerto Rican girl. Real as podcast. I'm your
host, Lucy. I'm back. Puerto Graf. Can you upgrade it to at least lead in your skanks?
What? So it's a no, at least the least gang is old news man. They plateaued. They didn't
last podcast is the new flavor, baby. Is it really?
What if you like more of something in the serious satellite radio realm?
I'm gonna bonfire what a good show that is or if you like comedy check out Tuesdays with stories good
All right, I'll do it. No Gabby. What about you pop a talk?
We have muppet in the blowfish coming out. Yeah, really sounds like a good band Mike
That was a great one.
Right? No one scores, no one scores points from the scope. Oh, no, that's a fucking dead seat. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Well, look dude. Anything would have been funny. You can scope out. Not anything. Anything.
Deepo. Ready? Scopo's funny. I saw him recently. He's got some jokes. All right. He's gotten
funny. I take him on the road. He's really good. Yeah. Buddy, I took him on me two times. I saw him recently he's got some jokes. All right, he's gotten funnier. I take him on the road. He's really good. But I took him on me two times.
I called him up before the shows.
I went, buddy, please tell me, have you gotten funnier
than a year ago?
And he was like, I have.
Brought him, killed it two shows.
Yeah.
He's not so good, but he's not Lewis bad.
You know, he's writing that sweet spot.
I was going to say,
Suarez, but I felt like it was hurtfully very new to the city.
I finally could handle it better.
Let's get back to this. I have to explain my zings now.
The Lewis is good. Matt. That's fine.
It's not bad. He's hurt.
You hurt?
Joe has to fucking real cock sucker.
What?
Yeah, I've never sucked a cock.
So back to New York back to the poor.
Back to the future.
Dan, Dan, please bring us back to the story.
They come back to New York.
Last time last time to the story. They come back to the job.
A hot porter last time last time on the list of raped.
Yeah, on Lewis is a time to kill a hot porter recon female female
Porter recon comedian was in Montreal when a male agent at a very powerful
industry or agency hit on the Puerto Rican comedian.
Then back in New York, they were up to no good.
So they go to the offices meet next day,
agent invites young Puerto Rican girl comedian
back to her apartment, beautiful apartment or his apartment,
beautiful apartment, agents pop, listen,
agents wife, agents wife is sleeping, okay,
got a little drunk, agents wife is sleeping
in the back, this story's getting awesome.
So let me tell you, the agents are aggressively hitting
on the young female comedian.
All right, touching, yeah, touching,
grabbing her tips, trying to make out with her.
Yeah, really trying to make out.
Yeah, with the husband sleeping.
I mean, why sleeping female female comedians like,
whoa, you're what are you doing?
Your wife's here and she's like in the female agent. Now I just like, no, we have like an open thing. Don't even worry about it. ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces? ¡Athat woman was Lewis Jacob! ¡Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and the fact that you are the dumbest person I've ever met. She's not a dumbest, she's just not, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a muppet.
She's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet.
She's a dumbest, she's a muppet. She's a muppet. She's a muppet. She's a muppet. she's a muppet. Yeah. She was a hard, the hard to think when you got nothing to fold in.
I don't think in those terms.
Well, you know, I think about the letter Q.
She also touched me and it really made me hard.
Oh, all right.
So how did it, like, what happened after that?
Don't please don't hold this against me.
Listen, please.
All right, I've already lost a girl I like in that chair.
Please, just stay. It's not me. I'm here, don't worry. Lauren, I couldn't even, I've already lost a girl I like in that chair. Please just stay.
It's not me.
Lauren, I couldn't even, I couldn't even handle Lauren anymore because she fucking
when I started dating Dave.
So that was, she was pointless.
Lauren was pointless way before she became pointless.
What happened?
What?
What?
She had, she went, she didn't want to do the business.
She wanted to just live her life.
She got a nice job and she got a nice boyfriend and she's like, I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh, and she goes, I gotta go.
She left.
That's it. All right. I thought she was very funny. don't want to do this anymore. And she goes, I gotta go. She left, that's it.
That's very funny.
She was great.
She was great.
So what happened?
Oh, it was good.
Listen, enough about Lauren.
Let's just go to, I wanna ask a question, Louis.
You could take this person out.
This is not the first guy this guy's done that too.
Really?
You think he's his fucking first time?
100%.
Wow.
There's a lot of them.
Why would I?
Why wouldn't I?
I wanna ask why would I?
Yes, that's it.
Because the experience, the only thing that I'm annoyed about
was that this agent wasted my time.
It wasn't the coming onto me.
Did he grab your dick?
Yeah.
Did you kiss him?
Like full, full hand.
It was a shit.
It was a real shit.
Oh, look how it was a guy.
Wait a minute.
It was a woman.
It was a woman.
Wait a minute.
So the husband was a husband or a wife.
Husband.
So the husband's in the other room.
Yeah.
And he goes to sleep while you're on the couch with his wife.
Yeah.
Louis is looking good.
I mean, it's like when you're drinking doing drugs like party. You guys are partying. You're on the couch with his wife. Yeah. Yeah. Lewis is looking good. I mean, it's like when you're drinking
doing drugs like party.
You guys are partying.
You're on the couch.
How big is this apartment?
Really nice.
Really nice.
Upper West Upper East.
I'm not saying anything else.
In Manhattan, that's better than any of your places by far.
I loved your place.
You don't have to,
you better than his place in Hills Kitchen.
Wait, baby.
This is your problem, Lewis.
You always get to put people down to make a point.
Bobby's place is not nice.
Sure.
That's my life.
Make me so happy.
I got this fucking little dog trainer.
There.
Lou.
This story is unbelievable.
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie,
wait, wait, wait, this is amazing.
It's so,
Louie now, because I never call him Louie.
Louie, I'm the Louie.
Louie comes back.
You're the Louie.
The King is dead long lived the King.
Wow.
The Louis is dead long lived the King.
Are you doing a new hour every year?
Yeah.
Wow.
If you want to call it that, sure.
So, Louis.
Yeah.
You go up there.
Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis.
Louis, Louis, Louis.
Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis,
Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Lewis Lewis Lewis. Lewis Lewis Lewis. Lewis Lewis.
But it's an intro of Lewis walking from the subway.
We're skateboarding.
Where he's like, it's just angry bodega workers and cab drivers.
I'm fucking.
Lewis Lewis Lewis.
Lewis.
Then he walks by the seller.
He goes into a bar basement.
Into the gas digital studios.
They hand him a bucket to pick a spot out.
He walks up to the seller. Hein shaking her head, he's like,
all right.
I hear it if a dollar beats a swan.
They kick you out.
I'm 75 cents.
I'm like, hey, please.
If you don't film that, you're a fucking
urinating.
I'll film it.
Let's film it.
I'll film it.
We'll do it.
I'll film it.
Let's film it.
We'll film it on your website for five bucks.
Yeah. I mean, Bobby, I will book a new movie with you. You're gonna walk the best of seven. We'll snow it on your website for five bucks. Yeah!
Dude, I mean, I will book a crew to film that.
Yes, we need to film that.
In the next week.
We need to film.
Lewis Lewis Lewis.
I want to be the guy that gives the finger.
Yeah, I have this.
I walked by her there.
He walked by every club.
Because he goes by carolines now.
Don't do that.
He goes by golf, somebody that shot the door.
Yeah, carolines for doors, do you know what I mean? He goes by the golf and they shut the door. Yeah, you can't find the doors. It goes by the Gotham.
They literally fucking just shut everything down.
The lights go off at comedy seller.
Everyone's in there just.
Everybody is in the front line outside freezes.
Like they don't see him.
Dude, listen, so your upstairs in this beautiful apartment,
dormant building, I would imagine.
Yeah.
And you hangin' on watchin' TV,
the husband's like, I'm tired, I'm goin' to bed.
Did he wake?
And you got all I got to bed.
This story is insane.
I wanna know who it is, he's a fat dude.
He's a fat dude.
You know what, I would never leave my wife
on a couch with Louis.
I do this, I go, I'm gonna go to bed.
She's like, okay, you know what I do?
He knew, right?
Can we reveal this after the show?
I'll tell you after the show.
He knew right?
I'll wonder if he'll have the show.
You know it's funny.
I can't wait.
Yo, I mean, I'm telling you right now, Joe,
you'll fucking, you'll know.
Louis, Louis, did the last, I knew it,
I knew it, he knew the husband knew, right?
I think the husband kinda, it was okay with it.
There's another detail that I don't want to give about that.
Why?
Because I don't want, to be honest with you,
once again, I don't, he's not that kind of person.
He's not gonna reveal this person.
I'm just not trying to fucking room people
for trying to fuck, were adults.
I don't care that this person was powerful,
and it was in a position above me that could help me out.
I, I assessed it and I didn't fuck her,
and I said, all right, it's not worth it for me.
That's not what I want to do, and I walked away from it.
And now I don't get out of that agency,
but the truth is, I have an agent now
that fucking loves me and then I have-
Did you suck his dick?
I sucked his cock.
The first hundred million,
I'm gonna dumb this thing.
I'm gonna lose those, I know how this works.
Is your wife gonna go to bed?
And then he was like,
I fuck you.
After losing, after losing,
lose bloom as well as I could, dude.
I, why did you do that?
I honestly, that started with me just asking what your ideas for some shows are.
I'm at an agent. I'm a secretary.
I asked a question though. So, and seriousness, what happened after the night in the apartment?
How did the relationship deteriorate or like, did you say, hey, are you reping me or what?
She didn't sign me. Yeah, it was like a weird thing.
But like, was it a thing where she said, I can't go to jerk off or meeting?
Dan's going to crack one out,
cause he's a pervert.
But don't you think that was like,
she took advantage of you in a way?
Not like you did it,
but like she was like,
listen, if you get a little sexy with me,
I was like,
I don't know if that's a power.
I don't know that she would have signed me if I fucked her.
In my head, I didn't,
can I be honest with you?
I'm real.
If I fucked her,
that would have muddied things up if she signed me. It was kinda like really what was going on in my head. If you fucked her. In my head, I didn't, can I be honest with you? Yeah. If I fucked her, that would have muddy things up if she signed me.
It was kinda like really what was going on in my head.
If you fucked her,
if you fucked her,
I guarantee she probably would have signed you.
Maybe.
The reason why she,
yeah, she probably would have,
she probably felt,
now it's uncomfortable.
You made her uncomfortable.
You made her uncomfortable
because she thought you were into it.
She was reading the signs wrong.
And if you fucked her,
it would have been great.
And then you didn't.
Now she has to worry about you telling people that you did that. On a podcast. If you fucked, there would have been great. And then you didn't. Now she has to worry about you telling people
that you did that.
On a podcast.
If you fucked her, then at least you
would be on the same plane.
Yeah.
I have you, you were into it too.
Maybe.
Yeah.
But here's the truth.
I just don't look at that.
Why don't you try a color and try to fuck her?
I don't think that that's the worst thing
that a human being can do.
I think that is what we're gonna fuck.
But that's personal.
Some people do.
No, right. You can't, you can't sexually, you can't put your but that's personal. Some people do. No, right.
You can't, you can't sexually, you can't put your sexuality on.
But I can't everybody.
Because they're putting their sexuality on us.
They're, they're making it.
I understand that.
They're trying to hold us to their standard, right?
So my standard is that, you know, I deal with things
in a certain way and it isn't something that affected me
where it made me have to go into therapy
or it affected my career in a way where I feel like,
I don't believe that it'd be in a better place in my career if I
would have fucked that chicken sign with that age.
That reminds me of this thing.
It's brand new podcast on ride cast called Four Corners with Lenny Marcus.
You got to go check it out.
Go to ridecats.com and the story is great for advertising.
Yeah.
Lenny Marcus and his partner Neil came up with a brand new. It's with a
Tyson huh? No, right? No, young. No, how great would it have been if he grabbed
arms from no, oh, that would have been great Vince click on it. Please bring it to me.
There we go right there. Oh, I don't know I agree man. No, it's not Eric McMahon.
That's Neil is his partner. That was a guest. Eric McMahon. Yeah. What do they do?
Have you done it yet?
Lewis?
No.
Dan?
No.
Have you done Joe?
I know.
Boy, you got to get you on the show.
They bring you on the show.
The first 15 minutes is about you.
Then they have three more quarters, 15 minutes of pop.
You talk about stuff, whatever they bring up.
It's a very interesting show.
It's an hour on the dot every episode,
and they have five episodes right now to check it out.
Four corners right now, go check it out on riotcast.com.
I can't believe this story exists,
but I've never heard of anybody actually,
guys always say that we'll women do it to guys,
and you never really hear of a story, this real.
This is depth of what happens with me., this real, this is depth of, and this is actual,
this is fucking sexual harassment.
Yeah, 100%.
What happens to this person?
Say hi.
I say hi.
I was more upset that power.
Why did you say no?
I was more upset that,
no, trust me.
She literally said don't meet other agents.
That was the thing that made me kind of like,
well, that's fucked up.
You shouldn't have waited some time.
Because you don't want your dick all sloppy
from other pussy.
Oh, that sweet reagent pussy.
But that was your dick, Tissac, C-A-A,
and I don't like it.
But I gotta be honest with you,
it's like, let's just,
let's just be, that's APA.
I,
that's William Morris, stay away.
I think everybody, you said said it to your mom,
but it's like everybody kind of is in reality.
When you speak to everybody,
you just have a conversation.
If you go to your coworker right now and say,
hey, do you think Louie should have,
you know, is a dirt bag and should lose his jobs
because he asked women to show his dick to them?
They go, no, it's crazy.
Not everybody.
Most people.
Most people.
There's a lot of people on the other side.
There's a lot of it.
Those are the people that have a big
loud loud voice on the internet right right those are the others are it's a select few people I'm done a Twitter by the way
I'm done I'm fully fucking I'm off Facebook I'm done I don't mind Facebook
I like Facebook because I've kind of catered it to what I like and I've blocked a lot of fuck you people and I do like Facebook. I like insurance fine Twitter. I'm done with I'm fucking done
It's great. It's the sickest place on the fucking internet best thing ever to was take it off my phone
It does nothing for fucking sale promotion it does
Promotion that does nothing for me. I get everything Facebook Instagram and Facebook. I get people from really Twitter does God Bosh for me
That's nothing I
Don't even know about that I don't give a fuck 280 characters that for everybody. I like a hundred and I was so excited went Dan told me that you were off Twitter
It's great not off it. I'm just I don't have it on my phone
I believe you go home and check it on your computer
Yeah, that was it my nose was in my phone all the time.
I just ended up reading it.
I go to people that I like and I read my mentions
and then I go to people that I like and check it on.
Like I like your tweets.
I usually like, there's a couple of people
that I usually check in with them.
I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a tweeter.
I'm not, I just, I tried to be this thing.
I'm like, that's not my thing.
I don't do it.
So people are really good at it.
I'm not, I don't like it. Why can't people are really good at it, I'm not good at it. I'm not. I don't like it.
Why can't we?
Lewis engages it well.
Like Lewis has funny tweets.
Yeah, Lewis just, but Lewis is like, not afraid to tweet,
and he'll just tweet whatever.
Yeah.
That's good for him.
I don't like it.
What if there was a Twitter that,
what if there was a social media that we could use as comics
to just promote each other's shit?
So people would, isn't that what some people are doing? Like Rogan and all those guys are just promoting each other shit. So people would, isn't that what some people are doing,
like Rogan and all those guys are just promoting each other
and getting people into.
That West Coast contingent, like, is fucking amazing.
They have a good group.
It's amazing, man.
Did you ever talk to them?
What do you mean, no, what?
Okay.
The other hot on paper.
We're gonna have like a real hot, we're on the boat.
Let me tell you something, my,
and I'm friends with a lot of LA guys in New York
guys, but there's a major difference when you're
on a table with New York comics or a table with LA
comics, dude.
New York comics are all just in a conversation,
trying to make each other laugh.
But the only thing that's important is trying to fucking get
that laugh out of everybody.
At the, when you're on a commercial in the LA table, it's
like literally like everyone's kind of like on their phones.
And then they'll mention what they got going on.
They'll say, like, oh, you got to tell me about that.
It's always like industry related, but it's never any bit of humor or just trying to.
Maybe that's what they're most successful. Yeah, probably. That's why we're funnier.
Yeah, let's stop doing it. Let's stop being friends and being funnier.
And let's really help each other promote shit.
I, the only time I've noticed it is one time I was with a couple LA comics in LA and I tried Bustin Balls and it did go all through hell at all. I was like, yeah, right?
You're in a second deck and they're like, what?
You're like, oh.
Yeah, so you guys are going to go to the improv later.
Yeah.
You know, I was like, I hope you bombed tonight.
It's like, why would you say that?
It's my dream.
I'm living my art.
You're like, oh, because you suck.
You suck.
Because you're an asshole.
Yeah, I don't know. Jump in front of a bus.
Why would you say those things?
Your mother sucks cox in hell.
What?
Joe, do you got one before?
No, I mean, yeah, he was just out there.
I lost.
I was there.
Did you like it, Ellen?
I love LA.
I think Joe's flipped.
Joe's in LA.
When I go to LA, I hang out with my friends from five years ago.
Chris Walsh, I hang out with, you know, Tom.
I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I'm going to flipped. Joe's in it. Joe's in it. I love the sip. When I go to LA, I hang out with my friends from
I hang out with Chris Walsh. I hang out with, you know, Tommy
Johnniegan and Henry Phillips. So I think I think I think that
they do support each other though. I mean, crazy, crazy.
Yeah, we don't do that. But I don't know why we do. I try to
like, what's everyone? I'll see somebody while see somebody like oh all right this guy's here
Let me just fucking tweet out to anybody that this guy's over here. Yeah, we need to be we could be better at it
I think we can have like a a thing where it's like okay
Let's all promote each other this way here guys
I have to like that if somebody does that there's some random comment just tweeted out my thing that I'm gonna be there
You think you're mocking I'm like what are you doing buddy?
What the fuck is why I get an asshole? You know what cuz I get that too comment just tweeted out my thing that I'm gonna be there. You would think you're mocking. I'm like, what are you doing, buddy? Why?
What the fuck is wrong with the, why?
I get it in Assault.
You know what?
Cause I get that too.
Cause I'm like, are you think, what you think you're gonna help me?
You think I can't fucking go to comedy?
I don't know why you do these jokes.
You start going to there.
I would love all of you to tweet that I'll be in Charlottesville
on Thursday.
We have four tickets sold.
I feel Charlottesville feeling I feel bad Thursday.
But God, seriously, go with the club's name.
Give him more southern. The South sucks, dude, for like comedy.
I've never done well going to the South.
I have to be because you yell the N word too much.
No, we love it.
That's a great.
Yeah, it was not for Mott, you fucking asshole.
I but no, I've heard that from like Jay, like it's not good for like podcast audiences.
Like when you go down certain areas, Tennessee wasn't't good Florida was okay. I did good in Tennessee. I'm doing zany's soon
I did all right in zany's too. I did I did you know what though
I still know what the Tampa Tampa I fucking kill yeah murder in Tampa. I was a good comedy city
Oh, it's great. Yeah, and they pay you all to I tell you what can I just say this real quick the comedy connection murder Island on believe it was god damn it those guys great clubs great towns awesome. That's great
Tell us the shit
They got fucking titty but they fucking pay you what you should get paid and let you bring your own fucking feature
If you want to
Dan they got titty buzz titty buzz
feature if you want to get it
that
that that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that
that that that that
that that that that
that that that that that
that that that that
that that that that
that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I worked the shoulders. What's going on? What's going on back? What you like when he was all seven of my arms? Feel free to finish on one of my giant star-of-a-mines.
Free.
Um, Jesus Christ.
Um, yeah, unbelievable.
But here's the thing, I did Friday, Saturday,
sold out all the shows, and then I had a gig and chick a pee.
Yeah, I feel bad.
I canceled it.
We canceled it.
Yeah, you did a cooler gig.
Tell the folks at home.
Well, I did that, but I
21 tickets sold and I was like, guy, I'm gonna drive all the way to the
guy. Brandon books it. No, I was going to check it. Be away from my kid another fucking day, which I don't like to do.
It's in Western mass and I talked to the guy. The guy great probably like 60 70 people there was a hot room
I did it. Yeah, I know I know I talked to Nate about it. I called Nate
I was like he was like I was sold out when he did it. Yeah, but the patch were on that night. Oh boy
I was like, but he was like I get it the guy was the sweetest guy ever and the club
I've heard nothing but insane reviews about it actually is a very fun room. We're gonna redo.
You know what we should do?
We should all go out there when it all four of us.
Let's do it the weekend and work in Providence
and then we can just all get that out of the world.
We should go do it one night.
On a Sunday night, just go do a gig out there.
Perfect, I'll close.
Salad will fuck out.
Huh?
You can close, aren't you?
I can do it.
Let me go second.
At this point, we could all three of us close.
That's not close.
What does that mean? You'd have to go up first. First all three of us close. What's that mean?
You'd have to go up first.
First.
You know those.
I, no, but I feel bad for the guy, but fucking,
I didn't want to go from selling out the weekend
to 21 people.
So your ego didn't want to take the hit.
I didn't want to do that, but also,
I didn't want to, he's going to waste money.
He's going to lose money to have me come in.
Let's just, let's do it another time
and try to sell it to fuck out.
Let's do it on the Pat's out on it.
Let me come down.
I'll tell you this,
I've done the connection when the Pat's are in the playoffs.
playoffs?
I just wanna talk about playoffs.
And I made him wait to start the show
until after the Pat's Ravens game,
because it was a playoff game.
I'm like,
did you not start in the show in the fourth quarter of the Pat's game? God it's going to be one of the best rooms in the country. It's great.
They took it from a shit room. You get that thing cooking.
Okay. Remember the show we did like seven years ago,
it was Tom Dustin was headlining. Oh,
it's providence. Yeah, providence. It was me, you Nate, Tom, and big
out and big out. Wow. What a show. Yeah, it's fucking fun.
It's weird. I think I would I would
I would ask him over you and Jay. No, it's Dave and Jay. Lewis is in there. I would love for us to
actually for maybe us four started, but we start promoting each other stuff every week. Lewis,
can you do that? No. Why can't you do it? There's a beneath me in your head.
Well, you don't have the gig. You're not having a gig every week. Every week where you headline next week.
I will be Friday night and Mayberry Connecticut and Saturday
night. I'll be in Buffalo, New York. Um, and then December
eighth, I'll be in Chicago. There you go. There you go.
Now I say I get why that agent hit on you.
I'm a sweet cupcake. So you know what Can I say, I get why that agent hit on you? I'm not a sweet cupcake.
So looking at this.
You know what, Gabby, do you want me to fucking?
What's up?
Go and murder him.
What is up?
What did you say, Gap?
She said hardcore sweet cupcakes, huh?
That's the name of the club.
Where?
An Oakville Connecticut.
Hardcore sweet cupcakes.
You were gonna cupcake store?
I'm sorry, I'm stuck.
I think I am.
Can I open for you? Yeah. I'll come. Stop. I think I am. Can I open for you?
Yeah.
I'll come.
You don't have to pay me anything.
I'll pick you up.
I'll drive you there and take you home.
I love how you're Eminem,
you took the jerk away from everybody else.
Probably goes, yes, I will work for cupcakes.
Yes, I do love desserts.
Yes, sometimes I do pass out.
Yeah, all right. Well, all right, we'll promote you right now, dude. Yes, sometimes I do pass out Yeah, all right well that I all right. We'll promote you right now, dude
12 you're gonna be at levity live
Yes, how was it?
Well, I'm gonna sit here and fucking brag about how you got four tickets old 21 tickets I just go hey guys things are coming out to move on
I'm not gonna make him brag about how you got four tickets all 21 tickets all I just go hey guys thanks for coming out Do we move on?
Smartest shit in the world sexy and I saw I saw the three shows I'm alright with it.
Jesus.
And the weekend the fuck chicken.
Chicken be chicken be chicken be chicken be chicken.
Come on on people.
It was fun.
That's what somebody said to me.
It's a fun.
I'm like dude, I'm not into fun.
Okay.
I want to have good shows, but all right.
So never ever 17th hardcore
So sweet cut
I've never sweet this is the worst name for comedy club. I know it's not a comic is just some dude show
I don't know hardcore. I'm sure it's dope. I know he's that he's pay man
He said you come out and fucking do it. Okay, let's do it. I'm not above anything motherfucker
If you pay me for hold on shop if you pay me
Of course if you pay me $500 and it's driving distance,
I will come and do anyway.
I'll pay you $500 not to do that gig.
Done. I'm getting full.
I asked for five and they said no.
By the way, Lewis just played that perfectly.
He goes, I'm gonna stay home.
By the way, that's a fight night.
I'm gonna laugh at Chicago Illinois.
What's the second one? What's that? Nietzsche's. What is that? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
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I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Factory Chicago the 18 two shows two shows in the 15th at Philly comedy club Pennsylvania
Yeah, I think we should start promoting each other more. I think if I see if I'm gonna start doing it for you guys
If I see you guys doing shit, I'm gonna stop from I think if we start if we build up a massive
Almost like mailing list between all of us New York comics and start promoting each other
So you would just there tell them to go see me. I'll tell them to go see you.
We'll get all the same fans and build up a fucking army.
And then when you Louis involved in this, he needs some help.
Yeah. Someone can let him open. He's opening for Louis. He got Louis featuring for
a little jerk on the front of him. I make him watch me jerk off.
Yeah, he goes out of the field., he goes. I don't like this. You can see me on Netflix.
I'm the guy hugging Louis on his special 2017 is the name of the special.
He didn't ask me for the hug.
Did you get anything related on him?
Are you sad?
What's that?
We're both sad.
Very sad.
Very sad too.
The only silver lining is that Joe Liss doesn't have to play the garden anymore.
How about these people? Some of these people we talked about it, the naiva te. This is like
I read like the Boston comedians is like a page, a post or whatever, like a, you know,
a big thread. That's some people were like, well, now that he's gone, they should give these
opportunities to other comedians. And then some guys like, well, he usually would rent
out his own room. It's like he was getting booked and like, well, that place can rent
out the room to other comics.
I'm like, yeah, maybe they can slip someone else into the Madison garden eight times.
Rent it out. Go whatever fucking dumb,
Twitty fucking unfunny female comic or gay,
the things that they're going to take Louie's place now.
Go rent out the garden.
See how many tickets you sell you fucking morons?
Well, that's simple.
Is that, here's, let me tell you why Louie's going to be fine.
Because if Louie rented a theater tomorrow
Everyone would still fucking come his fans would come the people that are not that are that are abandoning Louis They're not comedy fans. There's some dumb fucking feminist talk that read some blog that Louie probably got praised in
It's a very small it's a very small percentage of people that are abandoning Louie most people most people are
are Still fans wise, but HBO.
Yeah.
HBO Netflix, FX, managers, agents, but the, because here's the thing, the industry has to do
that.
They're just literally doing, it's like, you know, when in Blackjack, where you have to
hit on fucking 15 or whatever the deal is, right?
You just, you have to, you gotta play that card.
That's it.
Simple as that.
That's what they have to do. They got to dump. They got to do it. They know. Larry behind closed
doors. People in HBO going to Louis. Yeah. Fucking sucks. Dude. Obviously we'll see in a year.
Do you think that's what most of the conversations are? Yes. Buddy. Listen, they just had Mel Gibson
on the good morning. America show. He's doing a fucking comedy. Yeah. A dead comedy.
Now, he's raising up the Jews and getting drunk and fuck with you. I just I just hope that Louis is okay. I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Louis, are you okay? The old Louis. Hold Louis. Oh,
Billy. Yeah. I mean, you it's also the other things like when you go
like this kind of pilot on you go to your device right and you fucking win at the table. And he's been winning and winning and winning and winning and winning and winning.
And now he's got to take a fucking couple nights off of the table and he'll be back. I don't feel bad for Louis because he's still got and winning and winning and winning. And now he's gotta take a fucking couple nights off with the table.
And he'll be back.
I don't feel bad for Louis because he's still got
all those fucking chips.
He's still got a yacht.
He's still a billionaire.
He's still considered the funniest.
Nobody feels bad.
Oh, first of all, you just said I feel bad for Louis.
Nobody feels bad.
Let me finish the sentence.
Dumb dumb.
Nobody feels bad for Louis because his monetary,
a monetary shit about boats and houses and money.
We feel bad for Louis because emotionally,
he's in a fucked up place.
He's got kids, he's got a family.
Well, the world is piling on him.
The world piling on top of him and putting him
with rapists and pedophiles, which he does not belong in,
and he can't do anything about this.
And he has to sit there and let people do it.
I'm sure Louis's not sitting there going to pour me,
but I feel bad for my friend that he's going through
this psychological fucking nightmare.
But knowing Louis, I know he will get,
he will find growth out of this.
He will find something out of this to bring to something,
to his life personally.
He will evolve through this.
It's gonna be, yeah.
But also worth noting, he lost about $50 million
in 10 hours.
Yeah, that was crazy.
I know, but I don't think he cares,
he doesn't care about that.
No, I don't care about that,
but I think he cares more about the fact
that he can't make the things he was making.
He likes to make stuff.
He's a creative person.
When you're, when that's taken away from you,
when that ability to make, I mean,
yeah, but a lot of us going on stage is a great,
like even though it's our job,
it's our thing we love and sometimes look forward to
when we're going through shit.
Can I see you?
Yeah, can I?
I know, I understand.
I don't know.
What I was saying is,
but I've watched like when Chris Rock was going through
his divorce, I watched in a moment where Chris Rock
and Louis had a conversation
and they were like kind of like talking about standard.
He can't do it now, fuck all of you.
Fuck all of you. I'm not using all'm not a sexual harassment. I just take everything
I'm taking away everything
You took off in front of me. I didn't you took off in front of me
I'm saying
Operating
I think with bombs as if Louis loves he really has an eclectic group of friends that he's
very nice to and that he does.
You ever go over Louis house with me and Joe's been over there?
He has this beautiful relationship with all these people, actors, actresses, regular
people with their and they all their kids come over and friends and you sit down, he's
in the kitchen cooking.
It's like this, you're like, wow, this is other side of Louis
who's very social and so giving, so giving, you know,
personally, that it's like, I feel bad that he's alone right now
or wherever the fuck he is.
And that is all kind of fucked up.
He just puts in his bitches and money around everything.
He's like, let's go full-montied.
He's doing blows. He's just jerking off front You're right. Let's go full mountain. As cool as blow.
I was like, I'm just checking out front of hookers
and he bought.
Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
He goes, I'm on a yacht, I'm in an national waters.
Oh, these girls are crazy.
And sucking and fucking, that's the Louis way.
You know what the CK stands for?
It stands through.
Sucking and fucking, you just gotta pull the floor.
I don't need to spell. I'm rich bitch
Joe's I got no none of it. It's fucking
I just felt suck CK bitch
My mouth
Well, it's a spit it back into mine
My mouth Well, it's a speedy back into mine up
All right relax Joe
Well, sometimes it gets too big I don't know what to say my thing was I was thinking the opposite bit
But you hear the toilet flush and then Louis comes out and pajamas from the you know the attic
It's right for kids is way better stop it's great kids don't say that in our fantasy
No, no, not yours Dan wasn't involved in that you were It's right for kids. It's way better. Stop it. Great. Great kids. Don't say that. In our fantasy.
No, not yours. Dan wasn't involved in that.
You were, I wasn't involved in that.
That was international waters.
That's the thing.
I was.
Those are kids.
But as long as you know the fantasy,
I created was all legal and maritime law would find
legal.
A maritime.
Yeah, that's not.
It's whoever's flagged they raise.
I was just on a boat.
Because I know what I'm saying.
I understand, Joe.
It's sad. Yeah, what's the matter? What's the matter? I'm just on a boat, my, because I know the was. I'm saying, I understand, Joe, it's sad.
Yeah, it's sad.
I'm just trying to get off this.
It's a bar, but it's also just great.
Like I talked to people and, or I've read,
I've read too much, I should get off this whole for me.
But some people were like, well, if he,
well, we'll see how he behaves now.
Maybe he goes to rehab or therapy,
and if he starts giving back to the community,
and you're like, guys, he already did that.
This happened 12 to 15 years ago.
All done so much for-
All five of the incidents.
They, they, these three women just,
I'm just asking you to say that because we need this,
if someone's listening right now,
you need that clarification.
Yeah, I think people just skip parts,
I think a lot of people didn't even read the thing.
And people just taken that these women were in a corner. They hear it
That's not a good thing. Even people who read it when they're telling the story
They condense it to fit their their what they you know how they want to yeah
How quick they need to say it to get their point of view my wife read the story and then she said something to him
I kind of that's not even true. You made that up and it was for the defensive Louis
I was like you can't just say that you have to
2002 as well. It's like it's can't just say that. You have to.
2002 as well.
It's a different time.
Do you limp biscuits on top?
There's only two genders back then.
Five is true.
Yeah, dude.
You got to take one of them.
They, I watched the thing on ABC News.
They had one of the women in the one that said no.
And he didn't remember.
Is that the chick's name?
Yeah.
So they did a little segment with her and they show her
telling the story. And by the way, I have Yeah, so they did a little segment with her and they show her telling the story.
And by the way, I have no, I don't begrudge any of these women.
They should tell the story, that's fine.
I begrudge the people that read the story and go,
ah, he should fucking lose all his money.
Yeah, good, these people that are taking such joy
and supposedly liberal people taking joy in a guy,
just going down and losing all this stuff
like FX is no longer paying him residuals
That's his money. He did that's crazy
That's he's losing his own money for something that happened 15 years ago
And so he won't he'll just he's just taking it but
I read though it's all the ABC news, which is a news thing they show her they ask her the story
She tells the story which she should do and she said you know
He walked up to me
He got really close to my face and said can I masturbate in front of you in your dressing room
Which is fucking weird and sexual harassment in the workplace and then it cuts away
That's the end it cuts back to the newscasters going well. He's a blah blah blah
They purposefully you they were in the editing room and went she obviously the next part of the story is I said no
He got embarrassed and walked away. Yeah the editor of ABC news went we don't need that
part put that get out of that we don't need the part where he says she says we have
he's on clicking in and they have to compete with regular television shows and the dramas
and game of throw these news people is how they look in the fucking mirror. Coming up at 10, how are we sleeping? No, how they, they fucking, CNN,
they edit these things, they fabricate these scenarios
and people sit there and believe me, it's like garbage.
I don't know how they fight, all these news,
all this news is garbage.
It's just bothering when you, like, you have a,
but they're not even reading this shit.
It's like shit it's like
it's all fucking garbage it's somebody's
whatever that they're all biased they have their own agenda and then they
print it and people read that and know that's fact and it's not
yeah it's just uh... weird to be like well we'll see what he does if he can
give back to give back to the community like that guy he's been giving back i
did a show and during north carolina the bathroom during the bathroom thing last year,
all these people, Bruce Springsteen, Progynt, they all canceled the North Carolina gigs.
Louis was like, no, no, we should go to North Carolina.
Don't punish our fans who were liberals.
He said and just donate the money.
He tried to, he reached out to Bruce Springsteen, he tried to get him to do the same.
They never responded.
So he did the show.
He donated all the money, $181 thousand dollars of his money to the LGBT
They never thanked or anything. That's neither here nor there and it was just quiet. It didn't pick up nobody
250 thousand dollars made his own special so that on his own website a million dollars in a fucking day
250 thousand dollars of it went to charity another
250 thousand dollars as it went he gave bonuses to the people that have been
working for him and helped make it. And he gave that money to them. And he's, he's brought,
you know, Rachel, fine, stand on the road and Michelle Wolfe and he brought Joe on the
road. Get her. I'm a girl. So he told me he's gonna bring, he told me he was gonna bring
me on the road and never call me back and the patriarchy. And then also, I mean, I, you know,
Pamela's show, which he's done great work on and
it helped get that.
He helped get TIG show in the air, obviously.
No, but if she's actually, that's interesting too, because she's come out against him.
Well, she took the payment and then I don't really know because she, she was like, I can't
work for someone that I heard all these rumors about.
Like, well, you have the problem.
Yeah, I haven't liked her since she was on Leans World.
She actually said, that's pretty good. This is what's weird. She said, she said, I can't talk about what, we had an, has to use a solution. I haven't liked her since she was on Leanne's world. She actually said, this is what's weird,
but she said, she said, I can't talk about what,
we had an incident, I can't talk about it.
I don't feel comfortable talking about it,
but then she did an episode on a show
of a guy jerking off in front of her
and how uncomfortable is for a woman
to have a guy jerk off.
So she made it sound like Louis did that to her too,
when that's not even near true.
The incident isn't sexual, it can't be sexual.
What you said, oh, does it,
so you're making people think that he did something to you too,
maybe sexual, you're actually adding,
piling onto this.
And now that he's come out and said, look, this is a deal,
how can we have even send anything now?
Why did you say it before he put his name on your show?
I think she found out after. No, but that maybe.
Who knows? But everyone's that everyone else says these rooms have been around
for years. It's the worst kept secret. Yada Yada.
So I think she would have been the only one that everyone knew about Louis
Jerk now. I'm from a women. This is something that like has been, I mean,
probably six, seven years. I you hear about things like that.
All right. Unbelievable. But I mean, it's like, you're, and I can be honest with you, I
think we have a responsibility to be vocal and speak out and actually give our opinions
on this and everyone's being very silent on social media because everyone's afraid of
the shit that they're going to lose.
I'm being silent on social media because it's, first of all, I don't, I don't do that shit
well. I don't, I can do this well.
I can actually have a full conversation about it
and learn things that like I've listened to Burr,
I've listened to Marin, I've listened to a bunch of people
on both, I read a bunch of shit about it
to form an opinion.
Because I'm not good right away,
just tweeting some shit.
But I'm also saying that's also a problem with our current cultures
If you don't tweet about it, it means you don't have a stance. That's not true at all
We did it we we spent this whole episode talking about it
I talked about it yesterday on the bonfire
So I use a lot of my outlets. You hear the thing like not everybody listens to the podcast and I almost feel like and I'm saying
I'm saying you guys look you don't have a responsibility. I that's a wrong word to use
I do feel like more people should be giving their honest opinion because most people feel the way we
all feel in this room. This is the conversation and every. Yeah, but this is social media. I mean,
this is a. You can fall in the social media. You're gonna twist this out. Yeah, I tweet this episode
out to everybody. You can find. You can find hard to find my opinion. And the people that are reading
Twitter for my opinion don't know me. They're just they're just following me on a website.
I can Twitter. I'm saying that. Gabby're just they're just following me on a website.
Twitter.
I'm saying that what do you think you're a woman?
What do you think of this whole thing?
I think it's tricky.
I think it came out at a time where all of this really bad shit
was happening.
What the fuck?
I can't even talk.
I want to get a butt on.
I want to hear.
Don't do it when your parents give you a butt on.
I mean, Gabby, I'm so sorry. we need to hear Gabby's opinions
I can't legit about no go Gabby we need you don't have a muppet boys need to be legit
I'm a woman you are powerful ovaries can you just tell us you and smoke a cigarette before you do the next show
Yeah, all right. He's the kill. I think I can fuck fuck put your smuck away. I think it came out
At a bad time with Harvey and that really fucked up shit
Don't ever fucking okay. Yeah, oh
I
Think it's not that bad. I think he recovered from it forever go to fucked up thing
He did he apologized he was completely honest. It's that happened to me. I'd be like you're it
What happened to Lewis? What happened to Lewis is worse? So my mom
I told my mom about this and my mom goes Dan Dan A used to work with attorneys all the time.
She's like, you don't think they got drunk and flashed her dicks at me?
That has.
She goes, they would do it.
And by the way, they're the attorneys,
my mom's the mediator, so she works for them.
And she'd be like, she'd be like this, put your fucking cock away.
Can I see this the next day when they saw her?
And they'd be like, hey, Trish, sorry, I got a little hammered, huh?
Let's go into this mediation.
And my mom was like, I never held it against them.
I just, I always was like, you know, kind of, don't get drunk with fucking co-workers don't go back to people's hotel rooms
I don't want me to say yeah, it's not really really looking good for a dick pull out right now
I wore the wrong bell buckle. I got cocky this morning. So things dig I this this is my show timer
When this thing starts hurting we got to end the show
Because you guys want to see something special, but you remember like, do you remember? I think he asked them and they said yes, but that's still tricky because he was using his power.
Yes, yes, yes.
What are the girls comics things?
What are the buzz around the young comics?
I think everyone doesn't know what to think because we all love Louis, but it's also like we've all been in this.
Are they girls?
Have you been in a situation like that?
I think everyone's been like a little too sexual when you don't want them to, you know.
I was like, don't do that.
No, I wanna, that's interesting.
You say that.
It's so funny.
I know that energy where you're like trying to be sexual
and girls like, let's not do that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm not like, this is why I'm not
sexual with female comics.
I've dated a couple at this point,
but I don't just fuck female comics
because the truth is, it's gonna get weird
no matter what, when you fuck, it gets weird eventually.
I mean, you have to be working with them and you're in this environment where everyone's
got an opinion, everyone's got social media, and it's almost like an addictive thing.
It's almost like, well, yeah, if you give, even a weird sexual experience with this
chick, as a comedian, it's almost like the thing she's gonna go to in her mind, if she's
even a good comic, if there's this weird thing in her fucking life, so it's like, there's
no upside to that.
Gabby. I think this is different, though, because like these are, you know, lower in the
rank comics, they're, you know, rising. And they go to Louise Hotel Room thinking that
they're going to get advice or be chummy or like, but that's crazy. They were supposed
to slow. What if you open up for Louis and he was like, come back to my hotel room?
It's not it's not out of the, look, it's not out of the comedy community after a gig to say,
let's go back to the room and party.
It's not a, it's not a weird thing.
I didn't a check.
I would always assume you're trying to fuck.
Two checks, two checks.
It's not a weird thing to assume that we're just gonna go hang out
and not fuck.
I'm thinking, I'm trying to fuck those two checks.
I got one of this thing, one of this thing.
I never invite in checks back to my hotel room
if I'm not trying to fuck them,
but I make it also very clear.
But also that someone they just did a show with.
But we don't know. Wait a second.
Stop, stop.
We don't know what happened.
We never heard.
So we're all guesstimating on this shit.
We never heard Louis side of it.
We never heard what they said to him.
I heard Louis said of it.
What?
What?
It's not my story to tell.
Exactly. You can't tell that.
That's his story to tell. Exactly. You can't tell that.
That's his story to tell.
Bro, some people know, some people know things.
Bonnie and I were at the stand last night just laughing thinking about two girls and like
a winner.
Parker's is Louis's buck naked.
It's funny.
It's funny to think like two women are in heavy coats and he's like, yeah.
It's like, well in the Gokka article, which is, from 2012, whatever, I think it was the Gokka, one of the articles, it said they
gave a sarc, he asked if he could match it, and they give a sarcastic thumbs up, which,
if you're in the realm of sexual art, maybe don't use the sarcastic thumbs up.
No, maybe use the sure butter.
No, it's not.
It's automatic, no thumbs down.
But that, I mean, that might be here, so also, by the way, it's automatic, no thumbs down.
That might be here too.
Also, by the way, it's a blog, so I don't know,
because they said that the story is fake,
so I know what's real.
But if that part's real, don't use a sarcastic thumbs up.
Sarkastic dirty.
Sarkastic dirty talking, we're like, yes, fuck me.
Somebody actually said fuck me so hard.
But that could all be fake.
Some of the actually said they were joking
about it the next day too.
It's like I was joking and I was like, yeah, jerk off.
Like they were actually telling people
the story in a funny way.
Of course.
They weren't, they weren't, they weren't not,
they weren't like, we're never fucking,
they were talking like,
I found it.
There are, there are girls that I know
and this happens, any New Yorker,
this like, to talk to any fucking New Yorkers
who's been written the subways for 10 years,
you've watched some creepy, fucking homos dude jerk off, right?
Dietrich.
I remember the dudes.
And I'm gonna tell you right now, there's some women,
I'm not discounting the experience of the woman
that that really is traumatic for her.
But Jesus Christ dude, if you can't go to work anymore
because some fucking homos guy jerks off for you,
move out of New York City because it's gonna happen again.
I know, but here's the thing,
that image that they have now forever,
you can't take away, it does want somebody,
and you can't say fuck you that shouldn't,
when they get on the train now, it's like getting mugged.
You're gonna be scared.
You're gonna be like, oh, is there a guy jerk?
Is that guy jerk?
It's this uncomfortable feeling.
So you're gonna work happy, like your life, love new,
and now the sun you're getting on the train,
fucked up and scared.
Am I gonna see this again?
Fuck, and you're twitching, which sucks for people.
You can't tell somebody to just shake that off,
because not everybody can just shake shit off.
Some people are more sensitive than others.
And that's great Taylor Swift song.
Huh?
So you can't just say fuck, you have to acknowledge that.
I know you could acknowledge it, but I can say,
no, you have to move on.
I mean, you can move on, absolutely. I'm sure that you could do it, but it doesn't. They did move on. I think they did acknowledge it, but I can say, no, you have to move on. I mean, you can move on, absolutely.
I'm sure that you do, but it doesn't.
I think they did move on.
I think they did move on.
And now there was an article.
I mean, they haven't, it's not like they've been,
for years being like, fuck Louis, take a damn.
Yeah, they did move on.
They moved on.
Everyone moved on.
And then they are going, this Weinstein stuff came out.
Yeah, and so they wrote this article.
So my issue, again, is not with these women.
And I feel bad that they went through that.
If it was traumatic... dramatic it sounds dramatic
i've got every woman i know i mean
that ultimately this is all a good thing the harry winestein the cause be because
it's making every guy go i better not fuck around or do you hear it shatting
work which is a positive and clearly it's a fucking epidemic i literally don't
know a woman that doesn't have a story of harassment or
you had one you were getting to know you have plenty of sure
but I'm saying you you had one you said I feel like everyone's had an assumption
that someone's coming on to them when you're looking for like mentorship or
like a little you know you go back with a male comedian and you're like okay
either he's gonna give me really good advice or he's gonna try to fuck me you
know like it's but let me say can I
it's not a male comedian I take, you're blowing that, you know, man.
And that's just not a male comedian, I take that back.
Gabby, in knowing that, right?
And that's part of the temperature of the world
and men are typically trying to fuck women.
That's just the reality, we're adults here.
And vice versa.
When you make the decision to go back to a person's hotel room
and you say that in your head,
you're like, all right,
you're gonna give me advice to try to fuck me,
you're still saying, hey,
there's that door number two. Yeah, you're definitely, all right, he's gonna give me advice, he's gonna fuck me. You're still saying, hey, there's that, there's that door number two.
Yeah, you're definitely aware.
So you need to sit there and go, okay,
well, if he goes for door number two,
I should have been aware.
By no means is even right to grab you, touch you,
assault you, but at the same time,
I feel like every man has a right to take a shot.
What is the problem with taking a shot?
Okay, but if your shot is,
okay, but you're going from front of a girl.
I think we kind of laid out way to say we
laid out for guys. I will for like I said before, we used to
watch movies like porkeys where guys, it was okay to see a movie
where guys were watching girls shower and then sticking their
dicks through a hole. That was all right. In mo you can't put do a
movie like that anymore. We've changed. We. Right? We've changed. We've involved.
Four, these five starting to answer.
But, right, I mean, it was pretty crazy back then.
Now, you cut to, with things we do now, where you,
we set it out like first base, kiss.
If a girl's kissing you and you can kiss,
then you maybe touch a booby.
And then you go to second, third base, and then fourth.
There's no rule there.
You could put a girl on the other hand on a girl's thigh.
What if that's your thing?
If you're moved to fuck a chick is I want to, hey,
now I'm so up.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think that's a little aggressive.
I don't lose Jay trying to get in and in and in.
Let me say this.
What did you say?
They're one of the women that enjoy a guy doing that.
That's what they want.
They want a man.
Put her hand on her thigh.
And she's not wearing any panties. And she's that guy. like, I want him to fucking. I'm such a naughty girl.
I just thought of a great idea for a podcast. The Lewis J train. You and Jared Fried, bro.
Whoa.
Oh, bro.
Hey, bro, and a white bro.
White bro, brown bro. I can't be so bad.
White bro, brown bro.
You diabetes is the second one.
You drank like fucking five bottles of water.
I'm going to wrap this up.
We'll just repeat it.
I think this is a good show. I'm trying to like fucking five bottles of water. I'm gonna wrap this up. We just repeat it.
I think this is a good show.
Can I just say this real quick, too?
I have.
Again, and I think it's a positive,
and I think that obviously there's excessive misogyny
in the world in all fields.
And, but to me, the crazy, sick, weird thing
is that we live in a fucking time and society
that you can lose everything you worked for for 30 years in 10 hours for a thing you
did 14 years ago.
Just saddest thing in the world.
I mean, that is not a crime, that is not illegal, that is not anything that has infringed
upon the rights of anybody in any legitimate, tangible way.
In some crazy sort of, you know,
I think you're political, you know, under the microscope
by, by, you know, certain definition,
I guess you could say that he crossed the line,
but that is, that line is up for debate.
That line in society, it's a huge disparaging,
the disparagement between where people believe that line is.
I just thought, I think what Joe's saying is true,
that what happened to him was
overkill. What happened to him was a reaction to all this other shit that's going on. And I don't
think Louis deserved to be in the category that they shoved him in. It's irresponsible.
Took away everything from him like he was some type of predator. And he's not. Louis is one of the nicest, most beautiful human beings
ever met and he's helped me with, I'm sorry.
He's helped me with fatherhood.
I've called him in situations where I didn't know what to do
because I didn't, I don't have a dad. I don't have a fucking dad and I've called them and I've talked to him and he's helped me be a better dad and a better husband in
fucked up situations
so
To have him put in some predatory fucking piece of shit category you don't know Louis
You took one thing a couple mistakes.
Things that he feels bad for now 10, 15 years later. Well, now these are how father and a friend and
his life is different. And you, uh, I think you should be ashamed of yourself that we can either,
you know, we can't see the, the, the, that, okay, this man is not that.
He's not a rapist. He's not a pedophile. He's not an assalter. And um, it's talking to you,
then. No, I just think that I say, and the patriarchy, I think we should not, well, I think,
I think we should take a second to see, I know we joke, but we should take a second as comedians and as as this fucking industry
to to look at this and maybe maybe get instant replay, maybe hit instant replay and look at it again and go,
you know what? I think we fucking went a little too far with this guy. I don't think anyone's
doubting that we went too far. Some people are some people say you should get jail time. Well,
there's there's girls that are on Facebook now saying anybody defending Louis
don't book them at your show.
You hear these Facebook groups like this check.
I get, I still get screenshots from checks.
I don't think you should defend.
But that's, you know what I'm saying?
They're saying people that are defending and like, uh, they're making it a black and white
issue.
But they're like reaching, they're trying to reach out to industry.
They're in high five.
They're not, I don't think anybody defends anything.
And I think these women, we should be there for them. If, absolutely. And if these women are think these women, we should be there for them.
If these women are affected by this,
you should be there for them.
And they are.
And we should be there for Louis.
Well, that's what's awesome.
But I think that as humans, we all make mistakes.
And I also think we need to fucking call out opportunists
that are using this fucked up situation
in order to fucking perpetuate their career
that's based on mediocrity.
Yeah, Guy, random.
Not Guy. I'm talking about other people. Yeah, Guy. Random. Not guy.
I'm talking about other people.
Yeah, Guy, Brandon, we're talking about you.
That's what Dan means.
I think Guy's funny, but I think I think guys was a little out of school.
I'm sorry.
We didn't answer to this guy, Brandon's gay.
I mean, he is gay.
He's pretty confirmed on that.
He knows he's gay.
Sorry.
Well, there you go.
So I'm going to get something.
My bell.
But I'm saying, I think as comics, we need to fucking, we need to remember who these
people are that are opportunists and when this shit cools off
They need to be reminded that we that we were hate you
I hate you so much guys. I got invite me into your Facebook group so we can talk about lose day and go mo
I'll get to the industry first. I'll say he's a bad man. Hey man in five years
We're gonna look back on this and go and all this shit that's happening
We're evolving my son and your son
Are gonna be better for all this stuff. Yeah, right. I actually thought that the other thing my kid
I think look my son is gonna grow up in it where there's my kid
My kid
But it is my kids gonna be weird. I'm saying that I seriously I was thinking about this because I think about you two because you're gonna be more extinct. My kids gonna be more extinct. I'm saying that I was seriously.
I was thinking about this because I think about you too
because you're in the same situation as me.
We have this kid and we're trying to raise him
but the way we were raised was fucked up.
Our kids aren't gonna do this type of stuff.
They're gonna treat women better.
That's great.
We, this, I wish we could, my kids aren't,
we're gonna,
they're gonna be better human beings than we were.
I'm like, people think I'm such an asshole,
but it's like, I am such a fucking faggot
when it comes to my kids.
Nobody.
I really am.
Like, look at this.
Wow, I want to take one step backwards
as you're trying to stuff forward.
I'm trying.
But no, my son,
well, people are like,
oh, would you care if your son was gay?
It's like, my son can literally play
with whatever toys he wants.
If you want to do it if my son wants to wear a fucking bow
and his hair, I wouldn't give a shit.
My kid, my kid, Halloween had an Ursula wig on
and was literally playing with the braid, like,
daddy, that was a gay man, rock and roll buddy.
You said, you're a gay man?
No, he was gay, man, he was gay.
Get that shit out of my face, son.
Was it your trick?
Was it your Monica wig? Same wig? Ursula, from, uh, that's out of my face, son. Was it your, was it your Monica wig?
Same way.
Oh, from, uh, from, uh, that's a little more amazing.
Yeah, such brother and sister, but it's like, you know, I look, you're, uh, we're, we're
at a way different time, obviously, but you can also expect a different program.
People, people are programmed from the time they're fucking one years old to the time
they're four years old, and it's really parents.
It's the parents responsibility to fucking do the right thing during that time.
So you're asking the entire generations of people to be reprogrammed and to
undo. It's okay to do that. No, no, it is. No, no, no, it's okay to have these
things blow up and have people go, what the fuck to have a conversation.
And to share ideas and to come and say, Hey, look, we need to learn from each
other. But you say, if you don't think the way that I think you can have a career,
fuck that. That's crazy. That's what's scary.
The spirit of comedy. It is an attack on comedy.
That GQ article is fucking crazy.
That's crazy. You want all the comics to be women and gays.
Have fun with that fucking me. That is sexist.
That's reverse sexism. Yeah.
Of course, that's crazy shit.
Say this too real quick. Please because there is, there's also like, um, of course. That's crazy shit. Can I just say this too real quick?
Please.
Because there's also like, I don't know the right word, like, symmetric or a science behind
the, like I've seen some of these, I read too much, but people like there should be two
women on every show in the city.
But some of those I'm like, you just can't work.
There's not enough women doing comedy.
I book Rose Masters every week.
We book whoever is fucking available because it's whoever we can fucking get
Sometimes all women sometimes there's no women, but I never go dude
You know what we need some more dudes. There's too many fucking women in the show my point is crazy
There's like people there like every women if you are a funny woman if you are a funny fucking woman
Guess what you will fucking make a lot of money period
I've never seen your stand up, but if you're slightly good keep at it
You'll have a fucking career guaranteed my there is not one single funny
I finished my
Got there's not one name one point that's a little of my point
Can you please let him make it? No, I make this one. What can I will us what listen?
Well, we got it. No, you tell you just let him make the point
Jesus, so they say like there's not one single
I'm gonna make the point. Jesus.
So they say that there's not one single funny.
It was pretty funny.
There should be two women on every show, but I'm like, there's, there's 10 clubs and
another 20 bar shows.
And they don't factor in that, like, some women have a night, they take a night off, they
have a kid, they're on the road, or they're not even attempting to get into some of these
clubs.
Like, bookers of the Patrick Millions not going out to Williamsburg to find what you have
to try to get into these clubs.
Yeah. And it's like, so there's an alignment.
So if you want two women on every show, there's 50 shows happening at night. So that's like,
there's a lot of spots. Some of you just can't run to. I've booked a show. Sarah is a woman.
She booked a show and she's like, I couldn't get any women. I tried to get women. It's just
it. It's not, you can't just force women to do comedy.
We can't do this. This war doing it, which is great, but it's like some of these things you're like that's not physically scientifically possible
You also have those spots you can't ask for equality and results
You can't ask for like it to be like why is there more female comedians? It's like swimming drop out
There's more men some men stick with it. I don't know there's people have been around
It's just it's a numbers game well
You know what it is it's because at every club there is some man that is making women afraid to be there.
And in every, in every meeting in every agency,
there is some man that is using his power and his intimidation
in order to make a woman.
So I don't know what I'm going to do.
I just wanted to, I just wanted to LA last year
when I took all those meetings.
It was mostly, it was mostly women and gay men.
I had four.
And every fucking, I went to seven meetings.
I have six odds.
I did not sick, there was not one meeting,
one meeting I went to where it was two straight men.
But there was women, there was a woman
in the gay man in the meeting too.
Exactly the same thing happened to me last week.
Four meetings, three women, one man.
I had one meeting.
One gay guy, dance soda.
And I was like, but it was mostly,
don't worry, I got that cut.
I don't understand these meetings. Every meeting I had was women and I have no, but it was I don't worry, I got that cover. I don't understand these meat.
Every meeting I had was women and I have no problem with it.
There were great people, women and gay men.
It was great.
There was a one female or gay man who is funny, a comedian,
who is funny, legitimately funny.
That at the very least isn't on the track to being successful.
Where do they exist?
Oh my god, the dead chick is so funny.
How does she not have anything? Amber Nelson. She should be on the
craft. I don't know if she has enough stuff though. I don't know what's going on in her
career, but I think every Nelson, I be the funniest person. I can name. I can name. I can
name five of them now. Who is she? I never met Amber Nelson. Oh, she's like, oh, yeah,
her. She's got a worry scovels opening. She's also been on TV a bunch. She's had a bunch
of writing stuff. I don't know. It's not like she's you're right. She's not not having success
I don't it would be one way to say maybe she's not a household name. Not every woman. You are not success. That's what you mean
No, I'm talking about less successful than me. I'm talking about like right where's a woman who is as funny as
Just a funny woman who's not at least going there the only thing that isn't that's maybe in her way is the the amount of time that she's been doing
I think there's a I think everything is changed. It's not a boys club. It's it's maybe in our way, is the amount of time that she's been doing it. I think there's a, I think everything has changed.
It's not a boys club.
It's, it's, you know, I think it is,
I think networks, the email comedian today,
I think that, I think networks are really trying hard
to put women directors, writers,
people are gonna hate that I say this,
but this is a real thing.
I had a legitimate role, like a big role on a show,
and they go, you're a white guy.
We can't give you this role. Are you kidding me? No, that totally happens all the time.
I went out like, well, yeah, why do you know that, Gabby?
Cause I went to theater school. A bunch of my friends are, you know, white guy actors
who are just like not getting as many. They legitimately the cast and
even white. You see what they do with Hamilton? They booked all blacks.
But they call me the cast director called me and was like, I just want to say,
like, your call back was unbelievable. We think you were great
And I was like, yeah, I know like you're a white guy. We got to go with diversity. I had an agent and the comic strip years ago an agent
A powerful agency. I just can't I have too many white guys and let's happens every single
But listen, I also understand that there is a there is a there's a balance to that and I have a fucking
Prove like a diversity and I understand that but I'm saying like there is moments
If you think that white guys like this is a point
I don't want to say who made this point but a friend of ours was like, you know guy brand
I'm saying
These gay guys are saying like all these straight men control the industry. He goes. I'm hearing guy brand
I'm say that and I'm hearing I forget what the other example was and he goes they have TV shows
I'm staring at my savings account watching it dwindle because I'm a straight white guy.
And I'm fucking worried I'm gonna be homeless.
But people,
how do we control the industry if you're?
Because when you get power,
when you get the control,
you want all of it.
You want more of it.
Yeah, it's like,
it's like what white guys did.
It's hard in the day.
It doesn't exist anymore.
And they can't fathom. It's like dude
It's not that way for white guys.
I'm gonna drink the natural time. Just people put your wife
Want to be rich and a rich man want to be king and a king ain't satisfied
Joe list everything. Yeah, nice
Joe this way you're gonna be spring. Let's check this out Thursday
Charlotte'sville this, if you're listening
live, Charlottesville to Southern, and then December 1st, the second Hasbrook Heights in
banana. Yes, got sold. Yes, got sold. Yeah, let's say, uh, no, the guy who wants
Grossman joint now. That's why I got broken. I'll fucking my, I want to say right now,
my favorite club in the world, bananas, Habers, I'll probably never I want to say right now my favorite club in the world bananas have was I I'll probably never work there fucking again now
Fuck I'm
I love those two
Once every seven years I get booked there
Vermont comedy club in Burlington, Vermont December 21st through the 23rd and then I'll be in a lot of fans in the tri-state area.
We'll be in Pekipsi, Mark Norman and I co-headlining at my honies Irish pub New Year's Eve. Great. Grand Rapids. I haven't put in the website yet.
Grand Rapids. There you go. Another club. I don't work. What's your factory? Really? What? No. Why not? Cause I, I, I want to register something.
I literally at, I love any, but fucking no.
I asked, I think for $200 more and they said no.
So I said goodbye.
That's crazy.
Yep.
Yeah.
So there you go.
But that's all right.
I'm going to find a fucking theater.
I'll find some theater in New Jersey.
New Jersey is one of my favorite places in the world to perform.
Those are my fucking people.
Bobby, why don't you just rent the fucking small small small small small small small Jersey is one of my favorite places in the world to perform. Those are my fucking people.
Bobby, why don't you just rent the fucking small small small small.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it on one of their fucking nights too.
That's what I'm gonna do.
That's literally what I do.
Cause nobody will book me.
I just book my own venues.
I don't know.
I don't know where got cupcake factory.
I want to work on that.
They book me.
That place actually book.
I was joking.
I just wanted to say. I do. I do. I want to have a whole factory just to show for the employees as they throw cupcakes in my mouth.
They watch every good joke throw them a cupcake.
And so to cap city, another club I don't work.
Okay.
No, the third is the oddest way to plug gigs.
Is this a guy upset by clubs that his friends are working?
Maybe you're looking at eggs for them bopping. Fucking dickhead.
Working fucking calves.
I love fucking sidespotters and I love comedy connections.
No, this, this actually club.
Man, get your foot off.
I would have touched up.
Look at those wrinkles.
I went to that club.
Yellow fucking cricket teeth.
I went to that.
That's what's drinking.
Alright guys, enough for your shit.
I gotta end the show.
I can't even get a sentence out in this goddamn pod.
You fucking do a suckling thing.
It's fucking easier to get out of a hotel room with Luis. He can't even get a sentence out in this gutting pot. You're fucking to a sock and fucking easier to get out of a hotel room with Luis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
the truth steps in at the end.
Cap City. No, this club is great club. I actually are. I love Austin. And I went to this club to
do some rose battleship for Ross. Beautiful club. 30th. First second. Just put my fucking
page is set up after the individual show. Just November 30th through December 2nd.
Thanks for being awesome. It looks great. And then he's gonna start filming. Don't listen
to these. He's starting to film season three. We're halfway through season three, bud. God
damn it. I can't wait what a bad and then I
I'm funny bone in Albany. I'm so met funny bone in Albany. Yeah, I'm doing the Albany funny bone and that looks that
They don't play in San Francisco. I don't know. I mean, we're naming the place don't talk about
I know I like we're like we have to have a group. We just
Plug everyone's like what the fuck do all right here. We go check it out. I'm gonna be this actually this week
It's already done, but if you listen to live comics come home,
Saturday night, then I'm going to the Rubigig.
I'm gonna be there, a whole there, shit fuck,
to the 28th, I believe I'm doing that.
Then I go straight to American Comedy Club
on the 30th through the,
second, I love that club, great club.
And then I'm going to San Antonio, LL, with my friend, Mushi Mike's going to be there.
Two brothers.
I'm going to go to my brother's dog.
And I'm going to, I'm going to actually do Yonkers, which is great.
I'm going to, first time ever, it's 10 minutes away from my house.
I'm going to do this gig at the Ridge Hill Mall.
It was Haw comedy club.
They changed it to Yonkers.
New owner.
A guy's supposed to be a good
guy. Nick Paul was the old owners of piece of fucking that shit. That's what I heard. I said,
I had several kind of from the practical jokers tell everyone to throw bricks of the window that
place. Well, this new guy is supposed to be legit. He changed the whole thing and then I'm doing the
big theater and St. Petersburg with Mike Calta. Is that all right? And they're crew.
And then the brokerage of that Saturday night, Gotham Comedy Club, right before Christmas
with two cute Mike Feney and John Fish, funny bone Albany.
Yeah.
Comedy shop.
I don't think you did it.
You're working.
Comedy shop.
Funny bone hardford.
I got it.
Let's take a picture.
Lafactor Chicago.
Oh, dance. Gov. There's McGuire. McGub. Let's take a picture. Lafactor Chicago. Oh
governors McGuire
Mugubis I'm a love Robert Kelly live com guys. I love all three of you guys and my new crew
Yeah, I love you guys too Instagram and all that crap you guys like the videos
What you think my at Mike Vs. War is hey guys also if you want to make videos
This sent them to us. Why can it be producer? If you have, guys, also, if you want to make videos, uh, this sent them to us. So why can't it be producer?
If you have any drops or anything like that, you want to send us, we'd love to have them for you.
Yeah, this is a new one. This is what Mike made of you, which I make.
Makes me happy.
Did you see that?
Ah, it makes me happy. Um, laughable.com.
This app, if you listen to podcasts, you want to download this app.
Uh, laughable is probably the number one app
out there for podcasts listening.
The great part about the app, it's actually,
if you listen to me and Lewis is on it
and you see Lewis, it will show you Lewis's face
and then it will show you every other show
podcasts he's on and from there you can find
more podcasts, more people and so it's a rabbit hole of awesome podcasts
and awesome comedians.
You gotta go download the app, it's free, laughable,
and they also start selling tickets off of there.
They're gonna start doing shows.
If you have your own show,
they have their own ticketing system, Lou.
So you can actually use them.
I have my own shows.
I have my own ticketing platform from ThurmerchPump.com.
That's great.
All right, so you know, cut.
My own ticketing platform from through merch pump.com. That's great. All right. See you married you know, come on
Where you guys get YKWD hoodies and chip chip emerge as well do you want get a BD hoodie? It's my favorite. This is the new hoodie right here It's so good pump.com slash YKWD guys
I was gonna promote that last okay, and check out the truth shirts. Those are coming any day
No, we are we are there fucking reach start to you nine times. I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I To brush your teeth, kids. I'm very grateful. Up, up, up, up, up, please.
Look at this.
Look at that.
These hoodies.
I'm telling you right now, I thought,
you could check.
These hoodies right now, I'm telling you,
are a mate.
Shut up.
Let me fucking get it out.
Then you fucking jerk.
Listen, Dan, we gotta take the picture.
Stop, stop, stop.
Stop, stop, Dan, don't leave.
Wait, this hoodie, I'm not even kidding you buddy.
It's the best hoodie I've ever had.
I need one.
Merch.
The sleeves are great.
It's light, but heavy.
The color is awesome.
YKWD, go get your hoodies right now.
The went is here, dude.
And make sure you go.
Merch, pop dog.
You get Tuesday's shirts on there too.
Yeah, we're gonna get the truth the truth's coming up
I'm gonna talk to Ralph and I'm so good at business here. We go promote this to
Four corners. Four corners. Yeah, what's right? Right cast dot com for corners Lenny Marcus and his pal
What's his name?
Neil Jojo the answer. I don't all right's it. Thank you for listening. You know what, Dad!
Woo!
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
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