Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Hot Energy | Kerryn Feehan, Myka Fox, Lev Fer, Peter Fowler James

Episode Date: July 3, 2022

Kerryn Feehan sits in as guest host with guests Myka Fox, Lev Fer and Peter Fowler James Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Oh, whoa, I've been waiting months for this. Check this out. Oh no. All right, we have a special guest coming in. Your background, what is that? Hold on a second, somebody's teasing me. Hold on a second, that's not my fault. Okay, sorry.

This is on there. I think we definitely empowered you, Joe. We gave Joe's a template for how to nail each other. And this? West. Titty Joe. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Did you break your pants? No, man! I think that's it. Nope, you get this, shit. Did you break your pants? Oh, man! I think that's it. Nope, you get this too. Get this, get this, get this, get this, get this. I think I always been fun to be friends with you doing stand-up comedy all these years. So hit the button, click it, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.

You'll thank me later. patreon.com.a. Robert Kelly. I talked to Uncle Judy and Johnny Johnny Shacky on a date. It's got to be missed. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome, everybody. It's the show. YKW, we're back.

I started a social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW is back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. The fact that YKW did podcast YKW did back again Old school back in the day We're all starting before them all YKW did podcast is so fun and crazy And there's no rules

Shut up, you ruining this Brick of War, damn it, I'm sorry It's not any podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of You Know What, Dude,

with Special Edition guest host, Slot of the Month, Karen Elizabeth Feehan is here. You know what, Slot, back in effect, episode two of me hosting. So So blog that, Nicole. Make sure everybody knows that. I booked an exceptional panel of Jews and youngins. Really excited my friend, my friends, I think. I think these are my friends. I think all three of these people are my friends. I don't know if they're my close friends, but they're here. We'll start with the one with the most credits and industry,

hotness, and just the one who's making the most contributions to comedy in general. The CEO of Comedy Central, Micah Foxes here, you guys. Thank you, strong open care. Thank you so much. Real strong open. A lot of confidence. I'm working on it. Last time I was really high and bombed the whole time.

Thanks for coming, Micah. Thank you for having me. Mike had just put me in a commercial recently we'll get into it and then we'll go down the line of accomplishments. I guess we're gonna do the fat guy next. Really happy you're here. Lev Ferris here you guys runs a great show at the stand and has a podcast. I've been on TV. Yeah, but that's just when you block it. You're back. That has been on TV. No, love for us here. Really happy to have you. Love podcasting with you, buddy.

Thank you. You're funny. We're one of my favorite people. I know. And then little Peter. What's up, Karen? Peter James Fowler is here. Sorry, I'm sorry.

How old are you? 23. He's a child. Man, he's not his voice just cracked. I'm sorry. How old are you? 23. He's a child. Oh man. He's not, his voice just cracked. Oh man. Oh, come on.

Thanks for coming on, Peter. You can catch Peter at the stand. What else you got going on? Anything? Nothing really. Things are not good at all. I think he works in the Bronx. Things are going downhill quick.

Do you live up in the Bronx? Yeah. How have you not been mugged and assaulted yet? I'm just kind of tough. You know? Nope. It's like ability. Yeah. Who's going to rob this kid? Yeah, how have you not been mugged and assaulted yet? I'm just kind of tough, you know, nope, nope Ability yeah, who's gonna rob this kid come on. I don't know. It's pure charm right there I don't know like the only person broker than us is loser Kidnapping I can see robbery no they could tell me I could keep you as a pet. I'm moving

Someone I meant you have a job though. You pay rent Yeah, like you I prog you a far though, you pay rent. You are like, you probably have fired up for being here. Because you did you take off work? Yeah, I just did not show up at all. See, Micah's the seat, Micah like makes her own hours. She like makes commercials, like directs them. You know what I mean? Like, she doesn't have a boss.

Yeah, I'm just saying like, if you want to warm up to somebody that's, no, no, he's done a great job already. I'm trying to make her very much. Just been nagging me the whole time since I got you are 40 though well cut that cut it edit it she's 14 doesn't matter who care like 14 oh the second not affect women this is for this we look at the women next to us we are both like probably two of the youngest people like looking women our age easily.

Also, I'm kind of glad about it because like you're not even gonna make it to 40. You look like you've spined a bifida. I don't know what that said. That's the first time I've said that. You're not gonna make it to 40 and it wasn't to me. No, that's like wow. No, but my head wasn't both of your direction. I know.

Literally, it's a true accomplishment. You guys are doomed. I don't want to live to 40, honestly. That seems like a long ass time. Oh, okay. Maybe talk to a therapist about that. Just see if you get your whole life ahead of you, buddy. You know, I'm any more of Karen's pods you can do. Yeah, you can't wait. You know what? I do want to live to 40. Yeah, what do you get back? Shout out to Bobby Kelly. Thanks for letting me guess, host.

Yeah, where is he? I don't know probably in his like tiny house I think it's a regular size house and he It's a mansion He's always trying to find one tiny house in Vermont The walls keep getting smaller and smaller You're running out of it. It's just people to tour gasm right now They can be here. He was in Europe for a while. He was like in Italy. I like And now I don't know but luckily I'm here. He didn't even call me this time to ask me though

So I think I have to like are we even supposed to be here? No, I don't know. I don't know me at all That's the thing. He's gonna be like he would be pissed. Who's the lesbian? Actually You've done it before I have Mike has done it before I've only met Bobby once Yeah, I was hosting a show at the stand and he was doing a spot there And he walks up to me he goes who's next? I go oh, I don't know just whoever's running the show just let him know and he goes I'm gonna go next He said it to me like and I was like yeah, I don't give a fuck like I'll put you on the middle of this guy said

I don't give a shit then he comes on this pod and I heard him was like a yeah, I don't give a fuck. I'll put you on the middle of this guy's set. I don't give a shit. Then he comes on this pod, and I heard him. He was like a friend who was on the show. Love Google's his name. No, no, he didn't mention me. He goes, I'm at the stand, dude. He's telling this story. Like, he's in a leather jacket, like smokes behind him. He's like, I show up rockstar, you know?

I tell this kid, I go, who's hosting? He goes, I don't know. I go, I'm fucking next, buddy. I'm next. Okay, I just decided it. He said it as if I was trying to block him from going up. I was like, I don't give a fuck, dude. I respect you. I'll put you on the fuck you want.

And that's like you plan it ahead of time so he could tell the story. And first I'm gonna bust this kid's balls. Then I'm gonna talk about it. Yeah, I was like, dude, I'll put you on whatever the fuck you want. I don't give a shit. You do have a pretty good Bobby impression. Yeah, I'm needing a lot.

Yeah, it's like, I think the blocked airway. That's not what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's like, there's the compression. I don't, I'm like, is it an underactive thyroid? I don't know what it is. There's two kinds of fat sounds. There's the big, big, big, big, big, big. Yeah, and there's like,

eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. It's both just like sleep out. I can't wait till you guys are both. What? What? What? Oh, keep dreaming. What? Well, we're both fat.

Good luck. Well, never be fat. No, we love it, though. Well, die when you're putting a fat, dude. Totally. I think that's how women should be. Dead? Dead in fat.

Yeah, tell us more about your theories on how women should look. Okay, we're going for it. We're going for human form. You're more like marine mammal. We're trying to skinny. We're going for human form. You're more like a marine mammal. We're trying to stick with this species. All right, you guys want to play with one market? I think you look great. Go ahead, Peter.

I think you look great. Thanks, Peter. Who would you rather bang, Peter? Karen or Michael? Well, Karen and I have a connection. We, yeah, it's my bank account next to Peter. He's like, well, I don't have herpes yet. So I guess Karen Either way, do you have herpes? Oh my god. What do you think she's a loser?

She's not gonna fucking do it. I had herpes by 21 you fucking nerd nerd. If you don't have herpes, you're fucking loser I put a bag on it. You probably on a girl with herpes Bag her head away when she's having an outbreak. I don't even know what that means. Herpes is a big deal. Everybody's got herpes. All right. Look at him. Oh my God. You got to say shit. Look, that's what he trusted. His eyes are going to get so far off the side of us. How they're going to come right off. I know because he's he's probably like, I don't call it that. My mom said

it was chicken pox might do. It's cold sores. Cold sores are herpes. I heard. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm learning so much right now. I know. It's great. I love the education. You guys got a hot energy between you. You're a little fire and ice here. I'm hailing you the second and the day after he met Mike, he messaged me. He's like, Mike is really hot. Yeah, I really? Yeah. But he does this about everybody. Peter's a low p. No, don't throw me under the tree. No, Mike is the hottest 50 year old in the game, but Peter's like, she's low-key fucking every chick he meets. He's like, dude, have you met that girl, dude?

I really want to fuck that girl, dude. Stop. How long are you talking about? How long do you laugh? Do you tell him all your a virgin? And it works. What are you doing? Is he just like, I'm dying, I have cancer.

What do you mean? On stage, six minutes. Yeah, I get off earlier Actually, um, it just depends on the girl. Oh, it depends how I'm about you Like a dump like a dumpy great like a dumpy grateful one. How long can you go? I'm going quick then There will warm dude the Patrick's You would come in like a fucking You would comment like a fucking I'd like to fuck you baby. Yeah, whatever we're doing, but you don't you like a roommate who's kind of like a senior lady?

Yeah, she's older. Yeah, so he has a tie, but we're not hooking out. No, no No, it's not a roommate. It's like a make-o-ish Yeah, it's a mishabasham. Yeah, she's doing a very godly nice thing. Yes And letting him crash on her yoga mat. She takes up collections for Peter Church every week and throws the singles on them. We're making money, dude. Well, it needs that money to grow his transition must have.

Yeah. Yes. God, he's got that tea, honey. I've been working on this a minute, dude, and it's not coming in. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, you're not ready yet, dude. How do you have that?

He fucking grown 48 year old man. Yeah, my body's dying He eats animals with the hair still on them Just a bunch of on the record. Oh, he even go down on Harry Puss. No, no really? Well, I don't really go down often in general. Yeah, because all the blood rushes to your fat head. He's like, he's always full. No, get this. My check doesn't like it. No one you do it.

Let me have a shot at it. We'll see. She's like growing hair out of protection. Fuck out of here. She's like, I can't have my legs falling asleep on. I know she needs to do stretches to get around his head. No, but it's too wet. She doesn't like the, she can't get. You're alive. Oh yeah, women hate it.

It's too wet. She needs like, she'll like rub wetness away. She needs a little friction. You never, it's girl sounds mind blowing to you. You know when you're rubbing the clip, it's like, wait. She just doesn't want pizza crumbs in there. I'm like trying to, I'm trying to see things from her perspective Well, cuz you like the suck. That's a different game. Yeah, I like to rub to them But I like a like a lubricated rubbing. Yeah, she likes like Like on a lubrication scale she wants like a four but that a suck would would remove the moisture. Yeah, you have to eat that

Yeah, she's not into the suck This she tried like she put a little pixie dust down there. Maybe she put a little peanut butter? I don't know. You can do it. I'm willing to do it. It's just, you know, she can tell by your defying. No, honestly, I get it.

I don't like it either. None of pressure. Yeah, not enough pressure. Yeah. None of pressure. I find too much pressure too fast. I got to write all this down with certain people. Look at these hands.

These are powerful hands. Right, but you don't have to fucking punch her. You don't know her. There, there, I'm like, why are you trying to restrict time? You're right. You're right. You're making that other. You think you want to fuck a guy that big and not get punched? You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. No, but I'm like a big pussy. I won't do the choking watcher. You got to him in. You got to be iner. You got him in you gotta be in charge You're gonna let him oh my god. When you choke him. They're like yeah, there's a man here. You know what I mean?

He's like I use my traceable lock Picture him on like a my razor scooter like a full body like Puerto Rican woman peers on a Let me dive in there And then he goes home on her piggyback. Yep What are you doing? I can't even feel this. You're going to be diving there. I'm good. And then he goes home on her piggyback. And then the middle of going down there. This sounds like a great date, honestly. I don't see what's wrong with this.

She's like, you want to go down to me. I was like, why don't you rather just skate? That's my video game. Peter, what's your line when you're trying to hit on a chick? What I say is, I grew up in a show like, hey, you're kind of cute. Can I get your number? You're kind of cute. That's how far you get in the compliment aisle. It's like a minute. Yeah, but he's good. You're kind of cute, can I get your number? You're kind of cute. That's how far you get in the compliment aisle.

It's like a minute. Yeah, but he's good. You're right. You're kind of cute. Can I get your number? And it works almost every time. So, you know. And then they pick up.

No, they give me their number. Yeah. And then I hang out with them and then I have sex with them. The way you said have sex with them, it feels like they are not on board with you. Yeah, right. They're there. They agreed to it. And I have sex. They're so much bigger. They are not on board with you. Yeah, they're there, they're there, they agreed to it. And I've sex with their bodies, their minds are somewhere else. Do you think if you met Micah in the wild, you could...

The wild? Maybe Micah was drinking. Maybe like during an apocalypse, if nobody left. Yeah, like maybe if I had like just broken up with someone and really wanted to like just get some distance. Yes. I'm down. She's in a very happy relation. We'll see in a couple months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Oh, shoot my shot. Let's go to Olive Garden. Uh, yeah, I do like an unlimited breadstick. Well, then never mind. Micah's rich. Speaking of unlimited breadsticks, love. Yeah, and the CEO of Comedy Central, I'm not just...

Good for you, bro. I'm not gonna hand you money. Stop it. I'm not gonna be like, please. Sherry has a more. I already gave all my cash to a homeless person. Sorry. The fuck? All right.

I'm kind and giving to. Sorry, Karen, you had something you wanted to say. Did you guys see machine gungelly? Kelly smashed a champagne glass on his face? No. No way. That's what he said and people ask him why he did it and he goes you know people clink a champagne glass like everyone's attention. He was like I didn't have a fork. So just use my face. Well also you don't do that with a fork and also there are easier ways to get the tattoos off your face. I agree. His whole crew seems so mentally stable. I'm

surprised that there was just a shock. Who's his crew? Megan Fox. seems so mentally stable. I'm surprised that there was his crew Megan Foxes. She's a piece to I guess she was worried she was upset that everybody was gonna get her aids I saw a story that like he put a shotgun in his mouth while on a phone call with her. Oh really yesterday on Twitter Or some shit. Did you see that? Oh wow. I can suck something big and black too Nope he didn't like it sounded good joke to me like that. Jews liked it didn't like it. It sounded good joke to me. I liked it. Jews liked it. Didn't like it. Suicide. It's not funny. Oh. Oh cool. Did someone you know kill themselves? Go on. No. Every girl is fucked. Right. Somebody said they were going to commit suicide. They said he was

kind of cute. No, it's shot like the new kids coming up in comedy. They they're fucking hot chicks and they're all retarded and like It's true perfect. It's I'm amazed at who's getting pussy nowadays. It's like the like it was the bar was low when I was you know Three years in now. It's like insane. It's Pete Dave's in dude in town. You he made us like is that what it is? I think so. It's us the bloodless skinnies us. Just the young boys did we're in right now. It at us, the bloodless skinnies. Us. Just the young boys did. We're in right now. It's our time. The vampires.

Well, it's posties like just so available now. Women's. Well, we had to be in time for two years. And now we all have to have babies. So we're out here. It's true. I think it's that the UN said we only have about 10 years left. And we're just like, yeah, fuck it, right?

The UN said that for real. Yeah, they came out with, it was totally overlooked because nobody gives a shit. But yeah, life is doomed, you won't make it to 40. I'm kind of relishing that the Supreme Court ruled against environmental protection. Yeah, right. See, I wouldn't want to be, I'm leaving with some easily aliens. I didn't know about that. But now I heard they're not even pushing the climate change stuff so much anymore because

apparently we're like really a risk of population decline. Well, we're all going to change climates when we go with aliens to a different planet. You're going to lay off the pot, kid. OK. OK, but OK, aliens are here. Do you think aliens are here? Aliens are so fucking here. You fucking would get into spaceship.

You straight up would. Aliens are totally fucking real. They're mad about the nuclear warfare. And that's like their main thing. That's where they keep showing off. They're like, you guys are going to blow up your planet and we're like whatever I'm serious right? Yeah, why would they do a fuck? There's a good

Probably a big house in the league probably farm us. We don't even know the probably farming the shit out of us right now We don't even we can't even feel it. It's the lady's to call Bobby right now Need a fucking get a hot air balloon and fly him in We need to do it. Like five of them. We can just hold a shirt in the air. Just with a basket underneath them. I heard Karen talking about aliens down there. Dude, I had to fly down. Whatever. I don't care. You guys, I'm getting a fucking like my alien boyfriend's going to be so hot and we're

going to go live on the beach on a different planet illegal alien boyfriend Karen Obviously, I want a hard work. That's what she be it's like the aliens are already here. They've taken our resources Like and they brought me a new cabana umbrella Who is our real though who would have thought the aliens would be such good cleaners? You don't think you you guys are smart. You know aliens are here. They're not here the Pentagon Bro has been dropping vids like net like I promise That's the that's the best thing Trump ever did for us was admit that we have aliens and nobody gave a fuck because he did everything else He did was so bad shit. I love that he united our country. Yeah, that's true

Brought us together. I would have never been friends with Karen if it wasn't for Trump Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. how he fucks chicks. He knows that at him. I thought anything. They're just like, shut up and fuck me, I guess.

They're like, I like trans. Are you trans? I could be. You could kind of pass, is it? I think I could, honestly. No, he's giving mad female to male energy with that stash. It's a droginous all over. We're in right now, dude.

He's got a little chubby face, you know, a skinny bud. It's a droginous all over. We're in right now, dude. It's because you got these are in. He's got a little chubby face. You know, a skinny vibe. Yeah. That's what it is. Very Elliott page to translate. Transpaced for sure. Dude, she's jacked. Have you seen her?

He's jacked. You fucking transphobus. Sorry, Elliott. Elliott, you look good though. Did you know better? Little pun. Yeah, I was a little pun. Thanks, guys.

Yeah, what? He was a woman then. Yeah. I wonder what he's doing. Just a bunch of chest and arm workout and listening to this podcast for sure. For the owner. Make him money. Yeah. I think he got fake abs. No joke. No. Oh, like Janet Jackson style. Oh, like, do you know Janet Jackson? I don't know any. I know her, her tit fell out at the Super Bowl. That was fine. Justin Timberlake ripped it out. Yeah, he did he did Justin you ripped it out. He licked it and put it back in He apologized. He put his thing down. He's upped it in reverse He did apologize. That's a missy Elliott reference. God. I hate this guy. Yeah, anything you're saying

You know that song you guys listen to little got it Little don't He's fired honestly. I'll say you're fire. He's super good And see one of the ones that like you know like kill each other and shoot his brother just out of a drug or us a little kid. Little what? Little kid. I've been a little fucked up about it. That's a Bobby's audience of 50-year-old boy. I like what? What the fuck is little got it? I'm telling you guys look up little got it right now. He's super good. You know what dude. The answer to the question you know what dude should just be

no. I like it No Karen gets super wet when you talk about she she doesn't understand. Oh makes me so confused I would totally realize I wish I was gay for my god. We'd be so ready. I think you guys would be a hot lesbian. We don't know how to spy now. We don't know how to spy now. We should honestly just do it anyway. I know. We'll let you guys clean it. I'm down. Karen's willing us to expose yourself with that writing ability.

This is an unbeatable talk. Straight to the top. If I fucking wrote Karen's only fan scripts, hold on, hold on, no, wait, this is actually a really good idea. Because that's what's missing from her only fan. It's high quality writing. And bigger boobs. I think there's a, I think there's a lot of... Mike, we need to write the broad size bigger.

Yeah. To that A into a D. I'll bring what they took out 20 years ago. I know, my dad had a breast reduction. You did? Mike, I did. No way. You did? Mike had. No way. That's right.

Yeah. Because I wanted to be respected as a writer. I didn't put our big jutsits away. So they were great. You put your big jutsits off? I had to do it. Why? They weren't cute.

Really? They weren't cute. They were like, they're great enough. They're like the seed. They're the seed. Yeah, pick. No, this was like, this was pre like selfie era. Oh my god.

Yeah. That's when they just like smash them up And they leak up the side like it was a hurt in your back or something or you just I still the fucked up spine over it Yeah, big old titties on the back. Yeah, I grow a spine one day Peter. Yeah, I hope not Or at least a bone were they like long Is that what you did a chop? Yeah, they were like asymmetrical. The area was where gigantic. It was like, and I'm like five, two. Yeah, it was a little shoulders. You can have giant cans on those little shoulders.

But I bet like when you had them in a bar or something, they look fucking great, but then when it came off. Well, they looked huge. Like, and also I had like old men like stopping me on the street, it was like really kind of upsetting. Like, excuse me, would you like to write for me at Paramount? No, they were like, excuse me, how are you standing upright? Yeah. I can picture it like cartoona, excuse me. Would you like to write for me at Paramount? No, they were like excuse me. How are you standing upright? Yeah, I can picture it like cartoonish almost. Yeah, it was really wild

Yeah, I would have killed to see these my best friend got up. You want to see like bad tits? They weren't bad. They were just wrong for her body. They were too big for her brain. I'm at point now though They were bad. They thought it's hot. It's like trying to still make them sexy. I'm like no, they were really bad I'm defending your dead tits. They're like, they're like, you know, like the pencil test, right? You know, right? Like I could get like an entire pencil cup.

Yeah. I'm just all pencil case. Yeah. I'm boxed pencil. Karen, do you ever think about getting tits as like an investment? No. I love my boobs. Karen's tits are great.

Thank you. I mean, wait till she's 50 then. I know. That would be seeing that I think is kind of a hot look. Like a 50 year old mom with like new tits. With the she's 50 then. I know. That would be seeing that I think is a kind of a hot look. Like a 50 year old mom with like new tips. With the bolt on. Yeah. It's like, I don't know like an old kind of classic car with like rims or something.

Yeah, I may still do it. Yeah, why not? Just pump up. Put a little pump up the volume. Pump up the volume. Pump up the volume. That's right. How much is it for like boobs?

10K. That's nothing. You can do that. You can get one at a time. That's fun too. That's like a niche audience right there My lopsided sense who likes it Like my like my politics leaning left Yeah, my you should write my only fan script though you should write a script for this part too

You should like you shouldn't let ask your girlfriend what I do on my own Okay, does she just she subscribed? Yeah, I've seen chat all the time If you look up Karen Fee in my first matter, I looked it up and it's just heard nude dude. I said I see what was going on You don't even talk on it though do you know why she makes money? You're off this podcast, but I can't shoot back. You know what dude you're fired You're off this podcast, but I can't shoot back. You know what dude you're fired Um apologies. I won't I won't make jokes about no more joking on the comedy comedy I almost got rest of the other day you guys won't hear about this. This is crazy So I was hoping to turn style was hop in the turn style because I am paying 275 That's ridiculous. You peasant. That's where I'm gonna give him to the government

You know, he says hop in the dress, all he walked under it. He's slid through the space. Jump under it. Okay, but I hopped it. I hopped it. I hopped it. Okay. And I was on the other side and I cops, like three of them.

We're all like, yoke two. And they were like, hey, you stop. And like, I had to stop and I walked back to them. And they were like, man. They were like, where's your mom? Man, bring your mustache over here. We know it's off of your basketball team, you little twerr, what are you selling?

Okay, so anyways, they stopped me. They stopped me. And they started asking me information about myself because they were gonna write me up a thing and I was like, I ain't telling you guys shit because it's like you have to pay $100. And they're not gonna do anything about it because it cops in New York, I feel like right now

like kind of little pussy. You know what I mean? They're not gonna do anything about it because it cops in New York, I feel like right now, like kind of little pussy. You know what I mean? They're not gonna do shit. Whoa, they're gonna be waiting for us outside. Would you fuck your bitches, dude? Would you say? Cops are pussy's honestly. I'm gonna roll out of those.

Blue lives matter. Aaron, why do you tell me you invited it to badass on the show? He's a fucking rocker, right? Holy shit, I underestimated him. Fuck the police. I mean, it's easier to be like, fuck the police if you don't even pay rent.

If you don't own anything like Bro honestly They are we're gonna set up a sanction fight between you and a young cadet. I can take him I know why don't you put on blackface and then say They are bro honestly, so this guy stopped interrupt your seat. He's like cops are not fire They're not they're not bus and for real for real No cat copy my ass had no swag. I don't fuck with them. I'm telling you okay So this guy fucking stops me dude and they're being dicks and they're like hey, we need your information

Shit and I was like I'm not giving you anything and then they wrote it They pulled out like this big sheet of paper and they start taking it on from my information and they didn't like search me Anything so I just gave like a fake name so they wrote me a ticket But I gave just like I wrote I told him my name was Jeff Williams I told them I'm Bobby Kelly But for I told him I was named Jeff Williams. I live in the like 79 241 79th Street So this is gonna send a fucking ticket to some guy named Jeff Williams to like on 79th Street It's guys are fucking stupid. They didn't ask for ID. No, they didn't ask for anything.

That's crazy, because they never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never-

They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never-

They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never-

They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- They never- Yeah, I would think they would want you in the prison system. Yeah, you'd be a fun pond. Fresh meat. Have you guys ever been in jail? I didn't book anyone else. Karen, my pizza's here. Bobby Kelly, stop in the pod. This is going nowhere.

Wait, did you just ask me something? It's been a jail before. No, one time, Will winner and Kyle Ayers got arrested, though. We were all smoking pot in the West Village and the cops came and they arrested them, put them in handcuffs, took their backpack, looked at their backpack and the cop looked at me and said were you smoking?

And I am saying anything, he's like, I didn't think so and you let me go. Cop looks at you, he's like, are you M&M 69 and the only thing? You can go. You're captioning suck, but you changed my life. You've done your duty. Like have you been to jail?

Yeah, I got busted for smoking weed. Like, my first few years I was in New York. It wasn't even me, I was with a friend. She was getting me high and she started freaking out. And so I was like, I was smoking weed too, so I went with her to be kind of also thought it was like just kind of like, I want to see what it's, it was like the most like white privilege bullshit.

Ooh, right in the van. Plus I was like, I was also highest fuck. And I'm like, this is hilarious. Do this iron. Yeah, well, the whole van bless. I was like I was also highest fuck and I'm like this is hilarious Do this iron yeah, well the whole ride. I'm just like oh can we stop at Yafa Cafe? Get waffles first You guys like don't that's right come on It was and like when we get in there too like because it was they were just doing like sweeps You know, they just had to like fill a quote or whatever yeah, and we get in there and the precinct, these other cops just started slow clapping, like real hard and criminals, you got this.

Yeah, that's the thing. Just totally got clandered off the field. You got like a heckle that the precinct. The cops got heckled. Yeah. Were you in there though for a little bit or not? Like six hours, they held me in there. Were you hungry?

No, I think I was, I don't know, I remember having a really good time. I kept like climbing on the cage. I was like, no. No, I was a real wild one. There's like nothing you mentioned, that was a little parched. Yeah. When the weed started to wear off, I was like, okay, who's getting old?

This is boring. But the girl I went with, they put her in a different cell, she started like crying and said, oh my fucking god, we're like white women, they're literally, you can't do anything. I'm just picturing men like shitting in their hands and like smushing in in people's faces. That's what it was like for me when I was in. Good. Well they separate them in and the women.

Have you been arrested? So where did Peter go? I've been to Peter. Oh yeah. Really? Yeah, they couldn't shut up, dude. You've been to jail twice? Yeah, I swear.

For what? For lying about going to jail? For impersonating a man. For running away from home. For running away from home. con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sin fin de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Sorry Peter, why did you go to jail? I was arrested for weed and then I got arrested at Black Lives Matter protest too. I fucking knew it would be a protest dude. How did you get arrested at a protest? I was just there supporting my brothers and... He was an arm in arm with the cops.

Black Lives Matter arrested me and threw me in their jail dude. Where's their jail? You don't want it. No, but for real, it was great. It would have been a good opportunity, but yeah. Dude, with a whole ride over, you're like, my body type does not do well in jail. Dude, I was, I was gonna get raped for sure. You're gonna wipe first, where'd you go?

No, this is an Arizona. But I did like a couple hours the first time and then I like almost a full day the next time. You got arrested at a BLM protests in Arizona? Yeah, dude. There was only four of them. Yeah. We had to go to show our support, it was the only one.

But for real, it was Mad Scary. BLM protests in Arizona, it was like him, the Phoenix Suns and Wigtaison. Meaders like it was Mad Scary dude, being around that many black people. It was like all white people because they're Arizona and jail. So it's like just like,

just cracked out white people screaming and you're like, oh my God. All the protests were like, fucking all 20 year old white kids. I was like, these protests really need some diversity. I feel out white people screaming and you're like, oh my. All the protests were like fucking all 20-year-old white kids. It's like these protests really need some diversity. I feel like I fix that too. Every time I was a protest I'm like, I have a hit class. It's like the same time, you know. I would have gone. I gotta like, I gotta get a protein smoothie, you know, obviously. I'm not gonna let it go to waste. I'm not gonna let it go to wait, you know, and I'm like, I want to be like jacked for like the real apocalypse, you know. You white

piece of shit dude, not showing support for your brothers Oh please I've had a fucking black taking me Yeah, they're not complaining Black com matters. Yeah, no black guys like you need to do more Great, this has been really good so far. I've been trying hard bringing up stories But you guys just every time we have you guys just kill, dude. No, I think it's like a normal flow. Like, there's always so many on a podcast, you just fall, who wants to listen to it?

And it's like, we're just hanging out. Like, we're just having fun. Yeah, well, since he's been worrying the whole fucking way over of like, what if I had one planing? I've been here since one of those stories. You got here at fucking one. No, we did.

I'm gonna try to see if I can stay after a little bit too. Take it in. He's like, scared to go home. This is a cool place though. The studio? Yeah. Yeah. This light's pretty sick.

Go tree sun, you'll die in here. No way. I felt something odd. I don't know. Yeah, they just feel a fat 400-pound ghost. You have first year. There can only be one fat person in this room at a time. Legally.

It's an old building. I know. Whenever I guess I was for Bobby, it's nice for this chair to get a break. I know she's sinking into the divot. Parents usually like 10 inches taller. It gets a break when easier, too. No, it's gonna break.

It's gonna break. No, it's not Bobby. You're a nice guy. I'm not even there. You guys make fun of me, dude. I'm not even saying it. He's going to me, dude. What did you say, dude? He's gonna listen to us and be like, what the fuck, man? They just shit on me for an hour.

But we didn't. I love Bobby, he knows that. You just saying that now? Nope. Cover your track. He knows that I have a dead uncle, Bob. You really? I do.

I have a live uncle, Bob. You do? Yeah. Is he cool? No. Cool story. I know. He was a Michigan dude, he's weird. Mine was awesome. He's so like not hit on my friends

But like get us all wasted and like bring bring like limos and like his rich like older guy friends around It was awesome and they rape us We didn't cross bloodlines like it was all on the up and up. That's what she I have an uncle Bob, too You have an uncle Bob left or only have one uncle and I've seen him once in my life What who brother or mother brother my dad's brother, but they got a huge beef with my mom's over your mom's beef I'm not fucking it again. I don't Okay, what you say they fucking

No, my dad doesn't know to his brothers either. They like went to like homeless shelters and got all like cracked on on drugs and all this stuff Apple doesn't talk to his brothers either. They went to homeless shelters and got all cracked down on drugs and all this stuff. Apple doesn't fall for it. Yeah, I mean, I'm so cracked out. I mean, yeah, my family's not literal human garbage, but they were, they just talk. What do they talk? Do them have them? Yeah, they were, when they got married, it was like a giant rivalry. My dad's mom, the story goes like she told his to be wife,

like, like she was, it was like fuck Chris, she's like, this isn't gonna last, like I will make sure this ends like. But that's how that was in like the olden days. Like my mom's parents, what? What in the olden days? In the olden protested, in the olden times, 1960s, like my dad's 70s, my dad had to wait out on the porch. Like my grandparents wouldn't let him in my their house because he was like a bad like kind of like scummy dude. They don't want my mom not to, yeah, they told my mom not to marry him. They want to

pay for the wedding all the time. I was like, they were right. Honestly, based on your story. Yeah. And during that time, like a lot of shady guys got like normal, classy chicks. It's still happening. My mom respected his work ethic, I think. He came from like a really shitty place and like, you know, turned it around. They're still together. They are.

It sounds like your mom was just a whore. Yeah, mom was a big hoe. My dad was the first guy she slept with. Yeah, that's why he's got it there. It's just a little bit of a stoop. Is she a baddie on the low? Yeah. She runs mom's hot. Is she a baddie on the. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. She got it. Only grams I watch yeah She's really expressive sexually not

She was like she was like hi mama. I love she doesn't sell myself She's really yeah, my sister left me her baby in her will so I call my mom I was like hey, I get the baby. You don't have anything at the baby in her will is that what it is? Yeah, I mean I get it if I go dead baby Why is it no if like my sister and her husband die whatever I get the baby. I'm first in line with the baby. I know. That's so fucking tight. I can't get anywhere near my knees. No. No, maybe make up, make up Peter mask. Right. What even you can't get near your knees? No, I don't know. Like I know I'm not getting her if they die. Oh, yeah. Probably someone who my brother-in-law side gets her. Really?

Yeah. You look like her mom though. I look exactly like my niece. Probably why they don't. They don't want me. I live in New York and they think I'm poverty-stricken. They can't get over. What about my little sister?

She's like, you make porn. You want a baby, right? Yeah. What? Yeah, that is crazy. It's crazy. She's like, will you make him move to New York? I'm like, well, he has to help with the business. He's like, will you make him move to New York?

I'm like, well, he has to help with the business. He's the whole of the light up, he's up to, he's just getting a fucking free ride. So long tree building. She's like, it's not incest if I just jack his dick off with my feet. Oh, my God. He's fucking 10.

I've got to learn other world works. I'm like, I can't get anywhere near my niece. Meanwhile, I've already got plans, I was like, we could do some twin action or at least some mom daughters. Yeah, well, that looks just like me. It's great. Like when baby birds mothers abandon them, they put a bird mask on and then they feed the baby that way.

Like, that's what makes me like, like, you're so similar to the mom. Wouldn't they want to just put you in there? Yeah, I mean, I don't look like my sister. I just dye my hair brown maybe. You kind of look like a bird, though. Thank you so much. Okay. A hot bird. Do you have any siblings you'd fuck Peter? Um, no.

Not anymore. Cool segue. What a great topic that will flourish for the next 15 minutes. That was the fucking joke, Karen. I know it's almost like these people shouldn't be hosting it. Who is? I should have never come here on a say. It's on Karen. I don't know. How many people did you call before Peter said yes? There was a couple I bet. I was thinking about it. Too much right.

A far down the list. I think we're doing great guys. I think we're having a fun time. It's interesting. I think we should take some calls. Beater sponsors. Should I open up my DMs? Yeah.

Oh my god. I actually do want to see those. Do you get weird ones? Some of them. Some of them are pretty tame right now. I just hate it when guys are like, you should. I hate when you start a sentence when you should. I fucking believe. Even if I should do the thing. Even if you're right, like you should make your bad or like you. That's why I won't lose weight. Because people tell you should. No, unfulfilled advice is worse than like a hate crime or like racism. Are you sure they're saying you should or they calling you a shed? You should.

You should shed 20 pounds. I like fat left. I gained like seven pounds of the pandemic. That's it. Seven hard in each body part. My neck, my back. pounds of the pandemic. That's it? Seven. In each body part. Yeah. My neck, my back. You see on his Instagram though, dude,

that's all pictures from like four years ago. I love it. It's not true. I post videos all the time. Only from the head up though, I see. Yeah, I'm a collarbones up kind of guy. Seven pounds isn't that bad for an entire two years. No, I get 80 fucking pounds, you know?

There it is. What do you bait me here? What happened? We had to get to the truth. This is a journalist. 80 pounds? Yeah, something like that. What do you bait me here? What happened? We had to get to the truth This is a journalism 80 pounds. Yeah, something like that. That's what we're what were you eating? What were you doing? Not as girlfriend's pussy. I mean it has how do you I don't how do you even gain 80? Like three years that's three times the national average and the nation is fat as shit. Oh

My god I like I like the statistics. My I'm riled. Oh, are you fucking kidding me? I love it. I love that stats. Americans gained 30 pounds and I thought that's 16. No, 30. I was eating like three grub hubs a day. Yeah. What's going on? The average American. And those are just the delivery guys. Yeah. What's going on with them? They're just getting fat as fuck. They just weren't they didn't have to

walk to their car That was good You guys stepped all over here. It's like a matter nothing matters. No, no god fat lab. Here's a problem fat Lebs getting a lot of positive reinforcement. Yeah, I think he's staying fat. Well everything in my house is getting reinforced I'm just going to get a little bit awake when the sun is a week your body Metabolizes food quicker. No way. Yeah way I did they even tell you eat meals out in the sun Wait really? I don't know that yeah, it makes you a total retarded bullshit care. This is Carons of Breatharian. Thank you. It's it's a breatherian It's it's people who just believe they can photosynthesize.

If you just go outside, you can live off air and the sun. Hold on, I had Nicole look up some of these facts. You ever look at overweight facts? I had her mean. I had her look at how. She thought about her guests, and she was like, how can I make the most positive impact? She's like, I need love to lose weight and peed her to gain weight.

Now, this list that she's printed out is pretty funny because the question is, how can you get better sleep when overweight? The first one is exercise. The second one is find a mattress that works for you. So maybe that's why I broke through my bed frame. Yeah, and So maybe that's why I broke through my bed frame so I'm on the floor now and Select food carefully another study found that eating within 30 to 60 minutes at that time You chose to do this stuff while Bobby's not here usually yeah, because Bobby doesn't like hearing these Within 30,000 I've been eating in the sun for a year. It hasn't helped you. Oh, yeah People think I am the sun. I'm gonna get you

I think you need a'm gonna get you. I think you need a dog to get you on a better sleep schedule. It's not that. I'm actually down like nine pounds right now. Yeah. And why? When you stop carrying around that man purse. Thank you.

When did you have a man purse? I'm very like a Gucci purse. I thought I still have a Gucci purse. Yeah. And I'm Gucci to sell it actively. It's covered in grease It's fried Let us don't taste so good when you fry it. I learned Enough about fat love

Let's talk about skinny hot love. He was a good looking guy. Dude you never got to meet the pictures Yeah, beautiful man. You remember hot love. Do I? That was like a fucking rock star. Oh, we brought him up. Oh, he's up. I'm gonna call him so good. Oh, you know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying.

That's yeah. That's sit on that good face. Rest in peace. Is this like that galvanacous thing where you couldn't handle all the positive attention so you had to like make yourself ugly, I'm pretty good. No, I did, here's like, me at my natural is like, I will eat 10,000 calories a day.

That's me, like if I just let it rock, you realize that's unnatural though. No, but that's what my body is like. Super natural. Super natural. All of us are wired to eat a lot. It's called survival. You have to buy a hack.

Buy a hack. Look at this, that's a live hack. But I'm glad I gained weight. I feel like I gained a lot of positive. Olivia, is that the real one? What? Isn't there a famous model name? Oh, no, I thought that was a famous model. Olivia Cooper. Cooper. Yes, you are. Hope. Is that a famous model? Where's that leather jacket now? Is it like in shreds all over your

bedroom? I actually have it hanging in the closet. You're some day. Some day I'll be back in it one day. I got Margarine on the lining. Just even the cow, wasn't this fat. But look at the one two to the right of that. That's a fun because that's what you in the water. But the sunglasses. Oh Chris. No, old me and new me.

Oh, oh. You and Chris. Nice little edit. That's funny. Yeah. I'll get back there. That's nothing. I'm rooting for you.

You know that. I'm just shot me such a no I believe in you. Are you funnier though now? Because of like, do you think it makes you funnier to be a little... I think I'm just funnier because I'm getting older. Yeah. But, you know. I say, you can't...

Also, there is nothing hot about hot guys. Yeah. It's offensive. Yeah, there's no successful hot guys in comedy. Good point. No, I mean, but who do you like? Who do you like? What hot guy comics do you like?

Kristie. Yeah, Kristie. Daniel Tosh. Daniel Tosh. Norma McDonald was fucking hot. Norm sexy. Watching that is like last special. I was like laughing out loud. It's just him. I mean, that was not his hottest. Yeah, that's what you were right. I know. I knew what I was doing. Did like die. Then I said, Norm was not attractive. Yes, you're waiting hilarious. When he weekend update, like, like, like, he wasn't, nobody was like, he's a hot guy.

He was sexy and tall. Yeah, I think like if you cast him in a different light, you would see like how hot it, it's just because he was funny and like had that vibe, but he was heavy, chase was sexy. Yeah. Um, fucking Michael. Yeah, look at Norma Donald there.

Cutie. He looks like something's pranks and not good. Looks good. With those look at Norma Donald there. Cutie. He looks like something's pranks the knockout. It looks good. It looks good. With those piercing blue eyes, who's hot? I think this being on film is doing a lot of, a lot of favors. Yeah, but who else?

Because he's famous. I think the fame makes you better looking than you are. No. Yeah, I agree. One of the greats. Jim Jeffries is attractive. Yeah, there's a time when I would have. Trevor Noah is a good looking man

He's also the funniest guy Michael Costa great looking guy very funny. That's looking. I don't think we're on this list love It's an old love for 2015 I love how Andy Sandberg is at the top of the hot guy Jews really do run the media. Trevor Noah's number three, that's not right. I mean, college host is hot. Boberna, I fucking God. Chris Hardwick's a little guy.

I could take him in a fight. No, but look, the funniest guys, you were never like. Anthony Jocelyn Nick was pretty hot. I like how there's no black guys, though. Yeah, that's a great point. Clearly, you didn't make this list. There's a lot of hot black guys. Dan Cook's 14.

A&Lara. All right, so there's hot. Dan Cook's four hot. But you see a hot, I hate fucking hot guy comics. Immediately, I hate that. Like Matt, Matt Rive. Yeah, I never met him, but I'm just gonna mean to him where I do for no reason.

Did he? Yeah, he said the N word and I got like, when? Theo Vaughn's like hot. He's hot. But he slashes stage in comedy. They're like quote unquote attracted. They're not hot dude like like a model like a male model Like a hot dude. That's a whole other game like Matt Reif is like he could have a professional modeling career. That guy is model hot. Right. That's It can when you're modeling no one can hear you say the N word right? right that's that's and when you're modeling no one can hear you say the N word right so this is a legend we can't just out the kid like does we don't know they did it no no he did it I heard it myself I mean what's the point you

think that you're gonna be more successful now that you're less hot no I think if I just get down and like if I split the difference in the food you're eating, cut it all in half. No, if I lose like a hundred pounds. You gained a hundred though. So that's losing. No, I think if I lose 50 pounds, that's the sweet spot right there. Oh, I'm like, but you do think being too hot is holding back your comedy career. I don't think it holds you back. I just think it's fucking gay. Yeah, honestly, I think it's really gay. It's hard to be gay. I hate not having to do it for sure.

And also, my comedy was all like, y'all, are you guys fucking? It was like hot guy comedy. It was fucking gay. Wait, that's your face's problem? Your face dictates what your mouth does? No, I mean, that's like, your life, like what you're experiencing is what your material is gonna be.

So if you're like a hot kid and you're just fucking chicks, like that's gonna be your material. And who the fuck wants to hear that? Like, it's whack. Yeah, Peter. I mean, I talk about some pretty deep stuff. You're a hot guy. You're like Leonardo DiCaprio, hot kind of.

You think so? And what's eating Gilbert Gray? I know, I know. I know. So you can be like, after he drowned in the Titanic. No, just the part. She should have let him on that little raft. Bitch.

Poor. She's a fucking bitch. He could have fit up there with his dainty frame. Now he was poor, she knew it, she was doing it. Later, president. She was like, thanks for the pic. And he had a good personality. If my parents ever see that we survived together.

Right. That money will dry up. Good. If my parents ever see that we survive together That money will dry up Good We tagged it. Let's move on. Hey What do you think Micah that was that sigh about? What do you want? What do you got to get off your flat chest now Micah? It's not flat Okay, well compared to his left I am Who has the biggest titties that's pulling out?

By the way, who did who did your boob job? I could use a oh god doctor Well compared to his love I am. Who has the biggest titties? Let's pull him out and see. By the way, who did your boob job? I could use a... Oh, God, Dr. Stank and Vitch. Mangala, have you heard of the hang-o? Old Joe. That's a big guy, right? What?

Is that that Nazi? Yeah. The angel of... Oh, he's so well read. He's very smart. Now, back to Joe Biden and the transatlantic. Okay, so he... I don't know what's going on the news at all ever.

It's a problem. Well, I mean, we're not allowed to have abortions anymore. We are in New York. We are in New York. But the lines are going to get really long. The lines are going to be long. Coming up here, to get abortions. Oh, the subortion line is.

That's going to be the worst part is all the fucking torists. I'm just being like I'm sad They're gonna be a stop on the city bus tour. They're these poor women Who came up from the South to get abortions What do you guys think? I don't know. I'm baron. Um, are you really? No? She's fucking baron Trump not yet. Oh my god. I would He's tall. He's like six seven. Yeah, and then Nazi. It's fucking bear and Trump. Not yet. Oh my god, I would. He's tall.

He's like 6'7." Yeah. And then Nazi. It's like totally my type. I've already fucked one of those. Pretty good. Hi, Nazi. You're like a little self-loathing.

Oh, I love it. No, they feel so bad about the whole Hitler thing. Thank you. Yeah, that's right. That's very good. Yeah, that's really great. Do you know how like Republican senators like always like they, they're like giving. Yeah, that's really great. Do you know how like Republican senators like they search like black women on you porn

and all that shit? I'm a Republican senator. Yeah. Black women are hot, dude. I'm into it. Anytime I take Adderall, I'll just start looking at black women porn. I don't know what's going on.

Just your Adderall's what day is. Oh my god, someone raised the price on Adderall. I was like, well, you're like hyper focused. I can pay attention to this woman. I think it's one of the only different. And I'm like, but it's honestly like, I'm into it. All right. It's a change.

Only when you're on drugs, the implications here are not possible. Well, I'm on Adderall a lot. So it's like Black Lives Matter when I'm on drugs. I'm on Adderall. Good. I mean, all these topics'm gonna monitor all. Good. I mean, all these topics have been really good so far. You did nothing.

What do you mean? You're fucking hosting a show you did do any work. I'm too much weed before this, Karen. What are you talking about? I've kept this going. Like, this I've been the glue. You're not. Yeah, it's like slowing everything down

and it really gets stuck to it. You're gonna be turned into glue. Where else are we gonna go? What else are we gonna do? If I don't slow it down, it's good. It's too hot. I don't know, let's take a call. So many jobs. Nicole, do we going to go? What else are we going to do? If I don't slow it down, it's good. It's too hot. I don't know. Let's take a call. So many jobs.

Nicole, do we have any calls? No, yet. We can engage with the chat, though. Oh, there's a chat. Oh, there's a chat. No, I don't want to see this. That's quiet, Nancy. Nicole, do we have any hot chat things that are being said?

Not too hot, but do you have anything that you want to... How do we ask want to ask us Hey chat We have the train to the check his papers. What did you print out? This is all about your diet plan Beatsy and sleep now is this paper edible? This is like when are you guest hosted? He asked me to find like fun news stories And I was like can you just find stuff about fat people?

And sleep and cats all it is is Karen's like research Wait, you want to talk about cats? Get into it. My cat fucking caught a mouse yesterday. It was awesome. You have mice in your apartment? No, shoot. We have a backyard because I'm rich. This is a fire. Oh my god. Okay. Okay, be this fire. Fire. I can't believe we're locked out of that bathroom that coffee went right through me. Now I have to poop. Um, go on about your cat. You poop in public. You can poop on my chest. I'll poop anywhere. It's gross. On your chest. No, I didn't say that. I'll slide right off. Would you do that? You're a little nipples, but I'm what I shit on Peter's chest.

Of course. For real? For free. This is because he wants it so bad. Oh my God, you are a little fecal freak. It's very true. That's what I did. Would you like Karen to show on your chest?

No. If she was black and you were on that at all. He's like touching his little penis right now. He's like, no, no, no, no, no no. Honestly, Karen, I wouldn't let you show my chest unless that's what happens, you know what I mean? Poetry. Poetry is important. Unless that's what happens. Yeah, like if it's happening and you're like, I'm gonna show you your chest to be like, okay, I'm moving in the moment. I'm like, yes, let's do it. Oh my god, that's worth it to me. Fuck, I'm care. Right? I know. every time like Peter like leaves a greener with the sand. I like what I'm like a

Peter like what am I? I leave going am I gonna fuck Karen? You go you she's super old. Do you don't do it? Yeah, but then I'm also like People are like Karen don't say that stuff. I love are you good fuck me? Karen? Are you insane? You have no radar at all you never know. Yes, she is are you fucking bad shit? I think I used to be better. When you could hold your own body weight. We have these like spring. When you could switch positions. We have these springs going to the ceiling now. Right. She just sits on the swing. No.

No, I used to put it more over. No, no, no. I used to put it more over. I used to put it more over. I used to put it more over. I used to put it more over. I used to put it more of a no, now he's more like a trampoline and she just bounces off him. He's the float. What do you want? That's a theme too though. I said you're fat. I said it to your face.

Of course, Karen's good at bed. You don't have a thriving only fans if you're not aware of your bottom. You throw it back. I've been told. I remember I had sex with one guy for the first time and he kept like, I didn't know it's like this. Here's how you know Karen's good in bed. She's a fucking wild alcoholic and she has so much of a business. Like horrendous mean monstrous alcoholic who probably kicks people out in the middle of a heat business. Like horrendous, mean, monstrous alcoholic

who probably kicks people out in the middle of sucking their dick, but they come back and watch. Oh my God, you're so right. I used to do the wildest fucking shit when I was in blackouts. I would just like come to. So when she wore black face drinks, I said, Karen, you come to.

I would come to. So that's some day I hope I do. Oh, come day. I would come to as I come out of a blackout and just be pounding on some guy's apartment door. Oh my god. And like, not remember who was behind that door? Why I was trying to get in there?

Where my clothes were? It's like a drunk game show. Oh my god. What's behind the door? I'm in all the time. I would like, always talk about how I love the red socks. And it was always a running joke with these regulars at this bar where I worked to put me in a Yankee's jersey. So I'd wake up in a Yankee's jersey like every fucking day. Sounds like you got rapes. I did. I would

like go to war like bartending my pistons that I peed before. I was vile. Kind of hot. Thanks. I thought they called you red sock because of your pussy. Yeah, like we two sock big red thick tube sock What does it has a lot of feet knit? Yeah, stop drinking. It's hard not too crazy. Yeah, I got too crazy, man You never heard about Karen drunk stories. I've heard stories, but I like I've never really heard the bookers to go fuck themselves I've heard about that but that worked for her. She's a wild good. Yeah, that work kept her kicked out for how many years But in the lawn run it paid off. Yeah, he loves that story. He does actually he brings it up a lot playing the long game. He likes to say that I'm the first comic that's gone from band to paid.

He likes that idea. Micah Sommi tried to fit myself into a newspaper dispenser once, you know, those like, you know, those like free circular stuff. She was like, Hey guys, watch this. We're like, okay, bye know those like free circular stuff. She was like, hey guys watch this. We're like, okay, bye. See you later Karen. I'm trying to fit my whole self. It's disgusting.

She's like out magazine. How about in magazine container? You go, Mike, can I used to be what? Mica, not that she was. I wasn't a naveler. Yes, you can say it. She didn't know, because when I first met Mica, we were hanging out.

I wasn't drinking. But I would hang out and I would like smoke pot a little and like I'm like a fun energy A little is okay. Yeah, that's much times a week. Micah got so my we were on like a train like a subway platform And she was already drunk and she was like why are you fucking drink? And I was like the next day I was like yeah Micah's right wait Why don't I do I inspire you to get it off the wagon up for the first real life? That's so cool. Are you sober, Micah?

No. I can handle my shit like a guy there with a doll. Oh yeah. It's hot. Yep, it is hot. I can't even say, I'm not even an asshole and I'm drunk. I'm just more fun. Yeah, me too.

Second I have a drink, I'm so much nicer. Yeah. I'm so nice when I'm drinking. Yeah, because your insulin's back regular. I'm gonna fill my feet again. Let's start moving. So how long have you been sober up, Minnetna? This time four years, a lot less, four years.

Was there like what happened that made you go I got stop drinking? There's so many things. There's so many things. So many wet beds, so many concussions. Asian men. Only one. And he was hot.

He was hot. was hot member shall show each he's show gun we've to fucking the stocky fridge really yeah it's actually better for your metabolism if you fuck them outside though see I know but also like cryotherapy burns like 600 calories so is it I don't believe in any of that ship I'm I'm throwing you in that cryo chamber. That's true. I can't even cool. Oh, let's listen to you, Captain Health. Shut the fuck up. You can't fit in the cryo chamber.

Why do you cry about it? What is a cryo chamber? It is subsettled temperatures. And you got to say in there, the max is three minutes and 30 seconds. So like a Lizzo song. You think it's three minutes, you're burning 600 fucking calories.

Yeah, because it hurts. It's physically pain. It's like getting frostb're burning 600 fucking calories. Yeah, because you're it hurts. It's physically, it's like getting frostbite almost. It's right at the edge of frostbite. So how do they, like that's the thing is, how do they prevent it from actually hurting you? They don't. I think I'd design something. Like that's really how long do you stay in it?

I've done the full 330 before. You're an insane person. Yeah, you put on a song and you dance around. What's starts to happen to You started like just gay like your your skin hurts like you've been left out in the cold. But it's supposed to like it feels like a breakup. Yeah. It reminds you of certain X's. It's hypothermia. No, they make you wear a mask so your nose isn't going to hypothermia. But then afterwards like like, your every temperature feels perfect to you, whether it's a little cold out or a little too hot out.

Yeah, if you're going to the very bottom. That helps since you're going through menopause. Word, sweaty bitch. That's right. Are you really going through menopause care? Never bib. I'm never for you. I'm never for you.

I'll never go through it for you. Mine went through it 10 years ago. That's great. I'm never good. My mom went through and she got crazy for a couple of weeks. Really? Yeah. Just a couple of weeks? Stop breastfeeding you.

She started breastfeeding you. She started breastfeeding you. She became like, we or did she was screaming and shitting? And then like my dad had to be like, hey dude, she's going through menopause. And I was like, oh, fine. I'll stop fucking jerking off in the living room. What?

I'm not going my room. No, I'm not going my room. And then you said she's giving menopause. Yeah. I'm not fucking. Karen's not doing that, dude. Oh my god. I never thought of that. He's giving men a pause. Yeah, I'm not fucking carries out doing that dude. Oh my god I never thought of that he's so smart

My god Joan rivers over here. So what would it? All right fuck me for trying you know you can't even fucking throw a little little something a little levity out there We have we have levity the name of your first album. He's levity dead there. We have we have a lot of the name of your first album. He's levity dead. Um, levity live. I don't know. I guess that's for the headliners only that joke. I wouldn't know about that. I wouldn't either. We're all just features. Shut up. I'm headlining Zany's in Chicago September 11th. Who's the? I'm with you there, dude. Oh, right. You're gonna be on the road? You're just going on the road.

It's a little weird. Michigan. You guys are going to fuck for sure. Oh, that's why I did it. Step right, who's that guy? You. You. You're the guy with a shot.

What? One hotel room for sure. I'm not doing separate. I already told the guy I was going to sleep on your floor. No, you're not. He's probably going to sleep in whatever podcast you guys find. Oh, yeah, we're going to do it. We've got to do an only thing. It's from live from. Doesn't it feel weird, though're not. Well, it's probably gonna sleep in whatever podcast you guys We gotta do it. We gotta do an only fans from live from isn't it feel weird though that we're gonna be in Chicago on 9-11 I just feel like I'm betraying New York. Well Chicago is fat in New York

So it's fine. Oh, it's true. That's true. I didn't think about it that way But also it's not we'll be celebrating and like do they really call it fat in New York? I do wait You're performing on September 11th Yeah, that's like I feel I know What's gonna be Chicago's 911? No 911 you guys are like speaking of going down Yeah, everybody come out to that We've been podcasting for over an hour right now out of here just about yeah Can we do some plugs go around and people can plug their shit?

Okay, cool. Hey guys. I'm still in charge and now it's time for you guys to plug your shit Trying to go first left. I know you got yours right. You love everyone keep listening. You love vlogging Your face I'd be to get it out Supposed you're dimensioned in Just if you're watching this on YouTube, just type in love for on YouTube, stop listening to this bullshit and go subscribe to my good podcast. And uh, yeah, that's pretty much it. Sure. Bobby's gonna walk me back with big open arms. No,

no, kidding. But yes, it's just a subscribe on YouTube. I'm on Instagram. I leave you if you are. And uh, this uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Oh, come on. Come on, you can't come on. No, you can't come on. I'm not gonna get both on a less good pod that while you're on a pod. I already asked you and you fucking you you bailed you hit me up a day of and it was like I was hung over. I I had you on the phone and he's like I had an essay do the next day. And I didn't do it. Like a best friend that's Spanish. Um, essay.

Oh, that's hacked, dude. OK. I feel bad. Keep listening to this show. You want to plug anything, Peter? Mike, you want to plug it? All right. Go.

Mike has a podcast. All right. I have a podcast. Great hang with Mike and Tim, me and my dumb fat boyfriend. Do basically this, but funnier. And I don't feel bad anymore. And you know, follow me on all socials at m y k a f o x I run Twitter and Instagram. They're both my own platforms that I own. You have a very good Twitter. Thank you very much

The sweets great Twitter run a live show every Friday every Friday live from outer space at Cobra Club If you ever want to go to Bushwick and do a coke in front of a bathroom with no mirror, then fucking come hang out. A lot of takers. A lot of takers. Can I tell them to follow me on Instagram? I don't have any Instagram. Go ahead. Can you guys follow me on Instagram at Peter James Fowler? Cool plug.

Oh, by the way, Boston August 4th. Come get tickets. There you go. Where in Boston? I'm playing the Holocaust Memorial. Nice, nice. No, it's actually across the street. He's trying to pick up some shoes. There you go. Where in Boston? I'm playing the Holocaust Memorial. Nice, nice. No, it's actually across the street.

He's trying to pick up some shoes. No, come to the fucking Boston, August 4th at the White Bowl Tavern. There's a fun room upstairs. I'm sure. I'm good. Yeah, we're all hungry. Yeah, come see me and Peter and Chicago, and then we have dates in Michigan, and then I'll be in Florida.

Well, first I'll be in Vegas, the end of October and then Florida in November. And yeah, everybody follow me everywhere, thank you. Thanks for listening to Bobby's podcast. I'm, I wish he was fucking here. I was excited to do this. Wait a put a fucking downer at the right, and I'm just like, don't include that, Nicole. No, I'm just, I was excited to fucking do a part with the guys into watchers. I mean it was well now that you've given him such a

Reason the rebook you can get another We all have to have diarrhea. All right. Thanks for listening you guys We're gonna do what's about that. We're gonna do a little extra maybe but I don't know Maybe we'll be have a little patreon thing, but thanks for listening to this, subscribe, like, etc. blah blah blah, you know what dude, etc. For fans of OP and Anthony, Guy Times presents is the only comedy podcast network in the history of podcasting to have injected boner medicine into the penis of a paralyzed man for the sake of content. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, with over 10 different series all available on the same feed, including Girl Times, Yo, Future Me, our family, Jules, and more.

It's almost like shock, jock radio never left at all. Guy Times presents, check it out, you guys, look into them. Is that okay, Nicole? Mm-hmm. Okay. And what do you think? Should we do a little extra for Baytron?

Is there anything to do or their name's to read? Or is there anything? Do you think it's necessary or not really? Stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber kelly. See you there. Karen Feehan stepped in for me yesterday.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. And I didn't want to do a stream yard. I wanted to have a live episode in the studio. She stepped in. I heard she did a good job. I hope you guys liked the show. But I did want to make sure that I got on face with you guys, so you guys have something

else to listen to. So you get bang for your bug, the, the, the, the, the Jew and the baboo. No, you guys come up with the names for the show and I'll tell you which one's right. It's me and R is your fear. You guys throw names at us and whatever one's closest, I'll tell you. Here we go.

Ready? Here we go. You bring them up mush as they come up. We shot a new podcast, me and Ari, it's coming out, I think in the month or the end of the end of the summer. I don't know, it's coming out. We shot early, early August, or early August, we shot a bunch of episodes already. It's video audio. Or early on because we shot a bunch of episodes already. It's video audio. And I think it's unique shades and the amazing racist.

No, no, no, no, no. Is that it? You guys, that's all you got? The septic tank? No, no, great. Watches and snows is... Oh, that hurts my things. Yeah, laughed too much dude. I got my stitches and we're fucking a flop out. My fucking intestines were shoot out on the camera. Oh, anyways. It's obviously it's 10 the man.

They make one again. No, it is not 10 Sam Adams. Samuel, you know what he brought? Ah, you're funny cut. Stop. All right, we can take Ow Don't do another one. Okay, that's funny. I don't want Shit That was a good one man. You know what he bro? it. That was a goa man. You know what he bro? Oh fuck yeah listen it's called two cigar two comics two what is it called? Two comics two cigars. There you go two comics two cigars and here's Ray Wilson. Alright let's play it let's play it let's play it and then cut. Let's play it, let's play it, anything.

Two, two, two comics, two cigars. Two comics, two cigars, two comics, two cigars. That's the fucking thing. That's a good title. Holy shit, the depth of depth of depth of depth. Yeah. An hour, an hour and a half. Two comics, two cigars. That's it, well that's it.

Two comics, two cigars. A little bit of it was to be about the cigar. Yeah. And the rest of just conversation, while we're smoking said cigar. One hour, but two comets and two cigars. Here we are. You can have any two comets. It doesn't have to be us.

It doesn't have to be us. It can be, it can be both comets. Half the time could be you and I together. The other half the time could be either me and somebody else, you and else or two other people it's an hour long it's however long it takes you to smoke a cigar I love it one comic is better than the other they both think it's and one comic two cigars the one comic that's better than the other is not that in shape but the other one is What? What? Come. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Very shackles and shmackles Stop, yeah, please don't bring anymore up

Fuckin mother Dude two comics two cigars that's the fun. We've already filmed a bunch of them. I Film stuff without Ari. And there's other comics that have filmed stuff. So it's any two comics can do this. Mike Fini, Mike Cannon can film it, smoke the same cigar. And then it's kind of a bro show. I get it, ladies. But you guys like this stuff.

You like it. You are fat. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. My voice is mad molding. Okay. I'm fat J.C. heard every day when he went to school. You are fat. Okay. Where's math? So yes. I, we filmed a couple episodes. I'm very excited about it. It's coming out in August. It's, I think it's gonna be, you know,

other comics hopefully grab hold of it and take it and do it. You have to rate the cigar. The only thing you have to do is talk about the cigar a little bit and then rate the cigar at the end. None one five or a box. Cause we want, it was about cigars. We love cigars. Me and R.E. love smoking a cigar together. We're passionate about it.

So we wanted to do a podcast, but we just couldn't figure out what it was. I think we finally did. He's done a couple with other people. I've done some with other people. It's just gonna keep going. And it's all for your luscious entertainment. So there you go.

That's coming out, all right? I have to go pee. I have to pee. I gotta go pee. I gotta go take my meds. And I just wanna say, much first of all, thank you for coming in here. And on last minute, like you always do,

you apply a little fucking Mexican. That's when I call him my pliable little Mexican. patreon.com, stash, rubber, Kelly, that's where you go. And that's where you got this tonight. Me, behind the scenes, whatever you guys want to know about. We talked about whatever that means. I don't even know what I'm saying.

Comicwearables.com. I haven't talked to him in a while. Kevin has not contacted me in a while Are you guys not buying nobody's buying any merch? I mean get a fucking hat Get a t-shirt you fucks those hats are great. They have to great the t-shirts are great, man Get a guy the empty shirt If there's a catch phrase we said that you think belongs on a shirt, let us know. If you have a message on the cotton, yeah, you guys ever want to catch phrase. We have to say something that you think would be funny.

We'll put it on a shirt right away. We'll get it out there for you. We're here to facilitate you. Your comic needs, your fucking, your entertainment needs, your fashion needs, comicrables.com, and make sure you subscribe. Like and comment comment please. Caltor and Kelly will be going tomorrow morning. I'm sorry I didn't go today.

Mike was very busy. He had a lot of stuff going on. Thank you Melissa. Good seeing you last night. Thank you Lou. I love you so much. It was good chatting with you. Crumb, love you.

Thanks for coming in here. And to be honest with you guys, St. Ben and what's up, I'm gonna be coming in here a little more by myself for the YKWD Patreon people. Thank you, Fat J.C. Good seeing you, pal. Chopper, what's up?

I'm gonna be coming in here and doing these a little more with you guys. Chris, what's up, buddy? And I hope you guys enjoy them. If there's things you want us to talk about, me to just bring it up, let's do it. Let's get it done. This is an easy fucking thing

and I want to start doing more of these for you Patreon people. Patreon, you guys are a fucking shit. So Lou, you know what? For you, Lou, we're gonna play this. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink.

But then they solve their common problem and help others. You guys tomorrow on Calthur and Kelly, hope you can join the requirement for membership next week's Tuesday, YKWD back in our No-Dews or fees, most love you at Mike Vsware as self-support ever check them out. AA is not allied with any sect denomination. I love all you guys. I gotta go take a pill and go to bed. I'm not You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.

Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. you