Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - I Made Some Iced Tea

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

We have a hell of an episode with Robert Kelly and Guests Yannis Pappis, Mike Feeney, and Shuli Egar! We get into some hilarious banter and Yannis and Lauren go back and forth! Noam the owner of the Comedy cellar stops in and things get tense! We rip on Mike about his arm and things get a little heated! Watch/Listen/Share/Enjoy Dudes!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-effective podcast, no rules. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on.

It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's tapping the topics. No directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That's how it all holds the dots you love apart. I don't want to do anything.

My podcast is popular enough. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on flightcast.com. I Got the mic out already cuz it's Rannus up sound comedy club up town. I we're here another episode of YKVD. I am here the host Robert fucking P Kelly But you didn't know that middle initial comes with the glasses, huh? P. Well, I mean, I can't read me. I. I'm sorry. I don't know, what was this fucking glasses on glasses,

Cran? Before I fucking Greek? Yeah. Look at his face, they like, he's gonna punch your fucking teeth out. I, yeah, I can't really fucking, I can't, it's just a fact. I can't read, I can't read any of them. Just a fact. I've tried to fight it.

I can't read, no, my kid gets a toy. I try, I can't, I just get, I get my glan, I can't do it. Same thing happened to me now. Yeah, to read my phone, I gotta take my glasses off. To take them off. To take them off, just, because these are distance, so this is too close, so I gotta always take them off.

I got bifocals, because I can't read signs far away. Well, I'm driving. I'm about to go that way too. And there's no fucking line. Yep, they're called mysticals. Me and you who are about to get rocking chairs are you well well broadcasting from a VA hospital let's introduce everybody Lauren the producer of the show welcome to the show

Lauren hello how was your week how was your week? It was good. It was busy. Yeah, did you condition and shampoo? Um, no. Girls don't do that anymore. No, I do. I double wash and condition. And double wash? Shibbal wash. Yeah, if I did it, Dave Smith, I double wash. Oh, I mean, yeah.

I know he's a nice guy. Wait, you're glasses too now. Yeah. This is relationship look-alorn now. Why, she's a little more more conservative, little more homely. Turn nothing like this. She's trying to look like a libertarian. She has to look politically sad.

Dirty, but they read. Have you read all the homework Dave gave you? Oh, every night. All right, good bye. Hi Lauren, introduce yourself. We got Julia Gour in the house. Boo, boo, boo. You've been back, buddy.

How you doing? I'm great. Yeah. Awesome to be back. Thank you for having me as always. How was your father's house. Boo, boo, boo. You've been back, buddy. How you doing? I'm great. Yeah. Awesome to be back. Thank you for having me as always. How was your father's day? Oh, it was awesome. It was awesome.

Very low key. Walk up to the girls, giving me homemade cards that they made. Very cute, very nice. How old? Seven and two. So one did a really nice one. The other one just.

He's super. I was just sucked. Like who made this? Hinkley? I was like a mental patient And then we went to a street fair around the corner from the house and That's good. It's good. Where it went town in a story. Oh, okay, good. I thought it was in Manhattan No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's go to a street fair this summer in New York. Sounds fun. When I set on stage last week, I go, remember when New York City always we had to worry about was the Puerto Rican day parade, the good old days, just

your wife's tits getting shook a couple times by a nice Puerto Rican guy with a flag on his chest. Somebody drive by finger, you shake it off. That's a beautiful son, Dan. Puerto Rican driver, you actually hear them coming. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Um, that's why they can never be terrorists. No, I just hear them. Listen, so you have the kid.

Now, what I've learned on this Father's Day, it's not really a Father's Day at all. No. It's a Father and Kid Day. Yes, it's a completely opposite of Mother's Day. Mother's Day is, oh, you ticked sleep late. Here's breakfast. Bye.

I'll tick the kids out. Stay home. Father's Day is, hey, it's your time to spend with sleep late. Here's breakfast. Bye. I'll take the kids out, stay home. Father's Day is, hey, it's your time to spend with the kids. 100% right. What the fuck? It's bullshit. Bullshit is bullshit. You know, one mother's day, I got my wife a spa day, all day.

Boom, go to the spa, massage, face, whatever you want. The works. You know what I got this year? Eggs and cheese. That's right. With cheese in it. That's pretty good though. And it's not even an omelette. Cause you can't make a fucking omelette.

Cause she doesn't have to flip. One YouTube video, I'd have an omelette. She doesn't have to fucking time. So she just tries and then makes some scrambled eggs. It's all YouTube. Jesus. It really, it is not Father's Day is a sham. It's a scam. Father's Day is family day. It's a scam. Father's Day is family day.

Yeah, it's the same as every other fucking day. Father's Day should be this. I wake up and I hear nothing. No. And I go out and there's a remote control. Washed. Let me tell you. On the fucking day, right there.

Next to that is a fucking bagel with cream cheese. My actual father's day gift was the weekend before father's day when my wife took the kids up to her sisters for the weekend. And I stayed home, got to work, do stand up. Right. I was, no, didn't have to wake up early. But that wasn't father's day. But that was a gift.

But that's my point. I understand it was a gift. Yeah. But it was an unconscious gift. Sure. Okay. Father's day should, the house should be emptied. All right. You should wake up at six and go. Here's the real question. Goodbye. How did Father's Day end for you? Listen to me. I want to say

this first because I love my kid. Right. That's the problem is I love my kid so much. He wants to be with me so much. Yeah. That I don't want to I don't want to, I don't want to, but your wife, this is the fucking evil part about it. Are you alright? Yeah. What'd you just do? I just put some snooze into my up to look. I thought you were having a straw. I looked over you like this. Jesus. What's the pitch count at, y'all? Do it and do. Do it. What you're going to a frat party? Yeah. So, do you need a cup to spit in? No, no, it's swallow, it's Swedish. Oh, man. That's gay dip.

Yeah. You swallow. You swallow it, yeah. Yeah, it was a fucking nightmare. Yeah. Listen, here's the deal. I love my kid, I love hanging with him. And your wife uses that.

Your wife, when you kid, it's like, I say, hey, daddy's gonna go take a nap, but I wanna play with you and my wife will go, aww, you mother. That's right. You mother fucker. Or they go, he was asking about you. Oh, they do that.

You mother fucker. You should be like, listen, Bob, we gotta go. Daddy's gonna go take a nap today. Right, which my wife does a little bit, but here's a deal. Father's Day is not Father's Day. It should, it's family day. It's the day you get to spend.

Why? Because we're working our cunts off all week so that the electricity's on and there's cereal. Well, not, you guys are really hard. Shut up, you're not a dad. I wanna hear out of a fucking guy who's banging on 11 fuck you. I'm kind of a dad now you're not a dad Well, I was a shitty boyfriend to a lot of girls who then right after me had kids That's not that's exactly the same

Those kids wouldn't be here if I was a new shitty boy. Yeah, we all dated Puerto Ricans If anything you were a blessing. They found somebody mature and steady. I'm their destiny, father. Now, the mother's day is about relaxing as a mother. Yes, that's your day to relax. Father's day is work as a father, which is what we do every day.

It's time to spend with the family. You two guys, though. You guys play on the radio and on stage. It's not real work. What?. You two guys though, you guys play on the radio and on stage. It's not real work. What? I'm in the union, fucker. I don't know what you're making. Listen, you don't work.

We work, okay? You rely on your fucking jaw bones and your good fucking looks, okay? I have to work. My hair line, I work. Yeah, okay? They're trying to rip it out of my hands since I grew tits. Fuck you, Janice. Clock sucked and good-looking mother fucking cock fuck.

You're good-looking as three different people. I was a bad guy to a lot of ex-girlfriends, mom. I was a bad guy. I did, I had this Puerto Rican girl that had a kid right after I dumped her. Fuck you. Bobby, you're a father. I can relate.

I wasn't a good communicator at some of the chicks I was dating. Could I just, can you please do something with that line that you just said, because it's one of the best things I've ever heard my life? What? They've been trying to grab it out of my hands as soon as I grew 10.

It's fucking absolutely true. All right, hold on. Let's go to the arms. What have you got? How have you been besides awesome? I've been pretty good. No kids. Yes.

I'm dating in 11. Amor, don't fit your car. Lexus. Oh, sorry. Yeah, it's a Lexus. Yeah, it's a Lexus, sorry. I got some new, I got, I had some custom made radiator covers made. Yeah.

So they're coming on Wednesday, so that's good. That's good. Yeah. Do you find that like, like people who are your friends on Instagram who don't have kids? Do you find their Instagram feed just starts upsetting you more and more every day? I can't, I can't look at.

He has Instagram feed, annoys the fuck out of me. First of all, I scratch my rims on my car. Yeah, I had to buy a bouncy house a couple weeks ago. Those are the rims of fucking bouncy house. I would've went with the rims. Yeah, of course she did But it seconds me yeah second because you look and they're always summer on a hill with a sunset sure Yeah, taking a picture. They got nothing to do. Yeah, going on tours exploring

Well our third guest here Mike Fini His Instagram Fuck it settle down with our I don't like what we are, but it's my guess. I know you're on the Stern Show, but you don't fucking, you're trying to take over everything. I know you are. Hi, Pog, guys.

Bobby introduced her next. It's Cuck's out right here, you on Stern. This guy, I'm sure the store in sleep is gonna be shooly. Hey, hey, no. Yeah. Alright, what's up? What do you got, gorgeous? How are you, Bobby? How you a male?

I don't know. You are so androgynous. You are so good. What happened to your arm, first of all? You know what he's got to be castable. Torn laborum in the shoulder. Laborum, yes. Is that the same thing as a fucking pletaurus labor?

What is that? No, no, no, no. It's the muscle that's around the ball the ball and socket and that Split and then they just need to go in there and stitch it so you hit so you hit your wife Yeah, I just tried lifting my arm to hit her. I just fractured Are you married? I'm married. Yeah, look at his finger. How old you yeah 29. Oh shit. Yeah, you look a lot younger than 29 Yeah, that's you can grow a beard no no not even a little bit

I mean that would be crazy if I grew my whole do you have pubes I do okay? Because my from the from my like From my belt down. It's like a forest but everything from the belt up hairless like Lenny Marcus from the fuck It's like a forest but everything from the belt up hairless. You're like Lenny Marcus from the fuck Dick down. I guess you see Lenny Marcus on the shirt on it's like he's turning into a werewolf Discussing yeah, it is right here a labor room. Yeah, so see how did you tear it? I think initially it was either basketball or Maybe like trying to work out at the gym and just making it I think I've made a mistake of working out with Aaron Berg a few times

Oh, that's always good. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna tear your labor month in the steam room like trying to work out at the gym and just making it. I think I made a mistake of working out with Aaron Berg a few times. Oh, that's always good. Yeah, yeah. You're gonna tear your labor in the steam room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it wasn't.

I filmed on the fucking jerk and off night dudes in the steam room with the fucking Aaron Berg. You got to do it. You got to do it. Get about the cardio. You go on the fucking. You jerk off six guys. You're gonna fucking feel that.

You feel that? You feel that? He's cocks heavy after fucking eight minutes of jerking them up. And then you take the jizz and you rub the jizz in. That's your problem. You didn't rub the jizz in your labor. I put my labor before it though.

I gotta rub that fucking, that fucking Dominican jizz in there. You made him very New York. He's Canadian. Whatever. But he looks New York. It wouldn't have been funny is, hey, you got a jerk off dude.

He's a fun accent. Whip it out. Oh, it's actually, hey, Aaron Haber. Aaron Berg. I call them Aaron Haber. Why? I don't know. I don't know.

That's his name on Granger. That's another human being. And it's confused you people. So you tore your laborum. Yes. And you got this little see-through silky cast. I did have a little, a little mesh sling, yeah. Did you have a choice of cast? I didn't. I woke up with it.

They actually fucked me on the, you woke up with it. Yeah. What do you mean? I woke up in recovery from the surgery. Oh, the surgery from it. But they, they told me they were giving me this like one, this like black one that had this ball that would keep it from your arm. then they would also it was one at the end to squeeze it all this up and then I woke up with this little mesh thing. Do you know why?

Insurance. Is it my show where you are? Oh, I was just taking a guess. I know, but don't take guesses. It's not a fucking. This isn't a game show. I know there's no buzzer. It's no fun. It's going to be a buzzer. It's insurance. I had no idea. What a fucking guess. Well, here's the other thing now that it's kind of been like. Like there's looking at me. He's talking to me. Look at Bobby before he comes.

Oh, man. You can not start it. I started doing PT last week and they, and they told me they were like, oh, yeah, we got the post-op report. It seems like they didn't stitch your labor them back together at all. I don't know. Well, what the fuck did they do? And they were like, yeah, what they the post-op report it seems like they didn't uh... stitch your labor back together at all and all well what the fuck did they do and they're like yeah what they did is they went in there and there's like this hook that's near your shoulder they kind of shave that down a bit wow then they were like you had this like bursts of sack fluid that inflamed so we ripped that out and then they shaved something down to your

collarbones would be less pressure is like what about the torn labor they're like it was kind of just like frayed and I was like what the what the fuck is the only thing I like, yeah, it was kind of just like, frayed. I was like, well, what the fuck? This is the whole reason I did this. I can't tell me after. I was like, yeah, we decided to fuck it. Let's just see how this goes first. And well, you know what? Here's what I learned when I had my first knee surgery to repair my MCL and ACL.

How did you tear it? Playing touch football on tour, guys. Remember that shit? I said, oh, that's right. I need to, my knee, dude. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my knee, dude. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, I go into this doctor and he's like, oh, we're going to do the surgery. We're going to heat up the ligament and it's going to, you know, blah, blah, and we,

I go in, get the surgery, recover from the surgery, do all the fucking rehab, which is annoying. Right. And then I'm at some festival, music, huge music festival with Pete Corielli, and I got a big giant thing of Red Bull, because Red Bull is sponsoring it. I step off a curb, my knee folds. Oh, Jesus. Like sideways.

I throw the whole thing of Red Bull on Josh Spear's leather pants. Literally, he's hosting the show. Hall over him. Just fucking wet him. He's like, whatift store. I went to a, then I go to this fuck. I go to the, uh, real doctor, the guy who does the jets, up on the, up reset. And he's like, yeah. Hospital professor surgery. What's that? Hospital for special surgery. Why did you say that?

I had a stroke. I got so excited. I was like, what's that? I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke.

I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. I got a stroke. The guy who does the jets up on the Upper East Side. He's like, yeah. No, but hospital professor surgery. What's that? Hospital for Special Surgery? Why did you say that she's on the show? I got so excited.

Hospital for Special Surgery. Why did you get... I don't know. That's where I went. That was the other day where I did it. I went up there and the guy was a real white people shit right there. No, but the white... You're a white.

I'm sorry. You're white. Stop acting like you're not white. You're white. You're not a minority. You're not Greek. You're white, you're not a minority. You're not Greek, you're white. I'm Greek, I'm Greek.

You're a white guy with a Lexus and nice night. You're not, you're not white than me and him. I'm wearing a black belt. You're no one's more white than him. No, no, no. No. Although the dip in your upper lip's giving it a run for it. Yeah, I'm saying that.

Exactly. That's the right, that's the right. Fucking cock-sign. I'm going to see a college baseball game Jesus Christ fucking white people are sad in your ass. I Listen I agree with you. I agree with you. I argue with it with him. You know with us. He's the whitest

I argue with a Greek friend of mine all the time about that. Yeah, I'm like you're fucking white Yeah, yeah, what is his He's He's he's Greek. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't see ourselves as white. We see ourselves as Greek No, but it was about we nothing you are fucking white You're anybody in your family their Greek You're white although I will say this you throw an apron on Janus. Nobody thinks he's You're white, although I will say this. You throw an apron on, Janice.

Nobody thinks he's white. Nobody. No, you thought that's the owner of the Neptune diner. That's it, Janice. I've never seen a fucking apron on this cox out here. By the way, I am 25% Turkish. Oh, that makes everybody comfortable. Yeah, not all white.

No way, sorry, I fucking see you praying in a hallway. That's, uh, no, 10 minutes. So listen to me, girl, go ahead, just girl. Listen. Yes. So, yeah, but the doctor didn't even, he did a surgery they did on women eight years ago. They stopped doing it, that they did on women's shoulders. Onto your knee.

Onto your knee. On my knee. And they tried it on guys at ACLs at one point and they realize it doesn't work. So they stopped doing it The guy was like you should suit the doctor was like you should sue this guy I was like look I got to be a fucking Cleveland in three weeks. Yeah, fix this shit You know what I mean? Yeah, and he wound up fixing to give me a dead guy's ACL and fake but not all doc These doctors you got a dead guy's ACL in you. Yes, I do It was either that or take out a piece of my hammy and the hammy

Takes way longer to recover so you're walking somebody gave you I didn't give it to me. I took it Yeah, guys like give this to Robert Kelly and he's Some nice organ donor gave that to you. Well, I don't know if he was nice. He was your country was he a young I might have been a murderer. I know he know if he was nice. He was your country. Was he a young man? Yeah, he might have been a murderer. I know he was a 40 year old white guy. Which sucks. I want a Greek. I want a 20 year old black guy.

Yeah. Is that way if you start having dunk? Well, that way if you start having weird dreams, you know, that guy is in your body now. Yeah. I think the slam dunk joke would have been better. Yeah. Yeah, let me get it out there.

Yeah, it was really good. You just set a statement. The fuck happened, you're on fire. That's been here a while. Our timing's off, I'm sorry. So are you going back into fixture labrium? Well, they're going to see how this works. There's actually another fucked up thing in my shoulder.

They may need to operate on depending upon how this heals. There's like, what are you doing? Well, there's this thing that has Jesus Christ. There is apparently a lot of athletic injuries for a guy who's not an athlete. Maybe not even a guy. I was actually just thinking that.

Like if any of us wanted to transition and be transgender, it would take a lot. It would work out for you. It would take us years. It would take him a fucking name change. Yeah. You and me, I would go to bring my name. Have you ever had like semi long hair? It would take us years and we take him a fucking name change. Yeah, you I would go to bring my god have you ever had like semi long hair? Oh, I had hair down to my shoulder Yeah, I'm very Jesusy bellow the ball

I could you imagine if you open the door and the fucking tranny had those lips and eyes? Oh, yeah, how exciting I never got a couple of my lips before. Your first one. How is Dateline not hiring you? How is it gay? That was weird. Those succulent lips. I don't like it. I don't like it.

He took the compliment. It's stuck. The compliment stuck. Oh, look. Truth came out. That job. It's going to get me thrilled. No, but I didn't even notice the lips.

I was just looking at the cheek structure and hairline. I was like, you know what? He'd look like a chick. How does date, how does date line not hire you to be the decoy with the pervert show up at that? I thought I'd make some lemonade. You'd be perfect for it. I've been eating the voice. That's just the voice.

Don't you look just like who can I say something? It blows my mind that these fucking perverts, what look at man? Even animals. I had a fucking listen. I put peanut butter in a mouth strap, I catch the fucking chipmunks, who eat my strawberries. After the first chipmunk that it's fucking next snap,

the other ones were like, suck my deck and never touch it. You think perverts, once they walk in a house and they hear, hey, this cookie's on the table. You'd be like, I'm outta here. She's 12. I'm just looming up my asshole. I'm up here right there. And I'm like, wow, this cookie's on the table. You'd be like, I'm out of here. Just 12. I'm just looting up my ass hole.

I'm up here right there. You're like, wow, this is a little low. Yeah, that's cool. Hey, the door's open. Come on through the back door. And I'm on the cameras. Yeah, that's cool. You telling me you'd pass up the cookies?

You'd be like, you got me again. You got me again. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Put some fucking celery out there. You got me, you got me, you got me. There it is, it's a cover, man. Put some fucking celery out there. Yeah, I did. Got that. That'd be a great parody of the catcher predator.

Just people who are on diets and trying to trap them. Can you pull up? That was funny. I really would go, what kind of cookies? But I get off, and they're like, there, she said cookies. You're like, I'm just here for the cookies, actually. Yeah. Oh God, did the fucking voice,

but these fucking idiots can't stop. It's like, you know the whole way over there, they're going, I should go home. I should go home. Yeah, I should go home. Then they get there and it's like, I should go home. I shouldn't do this. And they walk up like fuck,

some of them walk up and go back. And then they come back and then they knock on that door and it opens and The girl disappears. Yeah, right? I'll just go fucking this appears right and then and you think you'd be like, oh, I got the wrong house. I'm out Yeah, yeah, I'm out. I'm fucking out. It's not good. I always thought the best legally how do they get them if they haven't actually Got anything because it's it's like 10 because yeah, well, I got she's fucking freaking out right now. What do you need baby? Whatever you want they have the conversation. No, I see your when our mouse starts going all over the place That means she's like I don't know

Following I want I want the top five yeah, go to the top five Predators I hope one of those is the one where the dude gets completely naked. He just gets in the kitchen, just starts taking off all of his clothes. All right, let me put this, can we, can we play this? Yeah, okay, here we go. This is in German, but we're not touching any. Is it German? No.

No, the title. The title. What'd you watch when you jerk off in German? I'm going to front door, Amanda. Let's make sure he sees that you're there. Oh, God. He's 34-year-old. You're there. Oh God. He's 34 year old Abelash boss Gail software development for a large computer come on his last steps of freedom. Oh, man. Look at a confident he is I walked in a free man

Name is Raj walked out of sexually Getting online with a decoy pretending to be 13 Hanward Han would you like to take me in your mouth? What is I'mwad Han would you like to take me in your mouth? What is I'm not sure how would you like to take me in your mouth? I'll tell you as 21 says we will learn as we go along He seems relieved when he sees our decoy and not a police stop Oh God look at me. I'd still be full. She looks fucking 26. Yeah, yeah, you put a blonde wig on Fini That's Fini right there standing in the house look at her though. She doesn you put a blonde wig on Fini. That's Fini right there Standard in the house look at her though. She doesn't look not as hot as Fini, but

Now thank you again, I love this podcast Fini, I'm doing wonders, but she looks old. Yeah, she doesn't look 13 No, go ahead develop They don't see the cameras What an asshole big afternoon He always has some quip when he comes out Like he came out like Mickey Rork in the rest of the earth through the curtains He's waiting to get a pop from the crowd find the next one. Oh, what does he really look like on the other side of the curtain just stretching, you know?

With spritz one of them is like right here go to this one. Oh, this guy's young I mean isn't this just Hang on stop. He's listen. This is it right here. It's always tea right so it's always on the table I'm leaving right unless it was Right. It's always on the table. I'm leaving. Right. Unless it was cookies. I made cookies on the table. I'd say what kind of cookies? And then I go in and proceed to get a rest. Yeah. rewind that just to come to the idea of you. You walk by and go, I have cookies you go, no thanks. She goes, it's helped me a reason and you run in naked for some reason at that point. It's fucking ridiculous.

I mean, she looks just like a camp on. Perfect buddy, God. Is his screen name? I made some tea at a table. Goodbye. Did you bring me my glasses? Oh, that's creepy. Yeah, that's a young man.

Oh, come on. This guy needs to go to jail. Oh, he's going right in after her. She looks just as young as Lauren did. Look, she got married. Stop. He fucking bagged Chris. He scared Chris. Yeah, he walked that where all the cameras are. Yeah, he went back. Go back. I don't think that guy was there for tea at all. Hey, look at this. Watch this. He's like, I'm fucking this.

Hey, when she stepped right over there, please. Yeah, please, I really drove this far for no reason You drove this car for no reason? I asked her What did you bring to her? Chocolate? She asked me He's going to get food for the decoy

I think she said that was one thing you're supposed to do And white chocolate? Yes sir, that's what I told her I was bringing What about condoms? Yes sir, I have them also, but that was not my intention. That's where to use it. I like blue animals. We're gonna use the condoms for it. She told me to bring them also.

So you did everything just cause she told me. Yes sir, I swear to you that is the reason. Let's go to the transcript. Hold on, I love when they go to the transcript. We say, my it's my favorite part. We say, I didn't say anything. I'm just here to give her chocolate. And then you look at the kids, it's like, I I'm gonna eat your ass hole with a spoon, little girl

I'm so glad I had a boy. I just would never this just I can't even with a boy. I don't even like this shit Yeah, just hearing some fucking oh Could you him? Oh, broodle just this guy with a hat. Yeah fucking him and him Her pictures like that Because she asked me to she asked you she wanted cookies. You're on her Did you say you are ready to have my thing? Oh? Yeah, what I meant was I was trying to get a baby babysitting job when she said that Yeah, what I meant by that was.

Bro, we're not selling it. I got what she was, I, it's when somebody talks, we gotta stop the video. All right, let's try and make jokes. I'm sorry. No, I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help because we,

what's that? Cause I'm controlling Lauren with my hand. Yeah. And we have hand gestures. And I'm not doing them. She's just looking at me like waiting for me to say something. No control. And I'm just, I'm just like this. Her world is a free market right now.

I try to regular watch. Watch. You would have had sex for the 13-year-old. Why? Because it's because. Wait, you're a wild dump for that one too. When we get it, it's good. Ready? Oh, we're in the third base coach over there.

You're like a third base coach over there, huh? But we try to do that. Yeah, like a third base coach. Oh, but we try to do that. Good. Done. Good. It's just something that you do probably never have. I wanted to just help her study. My, my favorite one is when he, when he comes up the transcript, and he goes, uh, were you speaking to this girl? Yes. And he goes, I had some friends over for a party. And he goes, the party last seven days, because that's how many days you

talked to this fucking girl. Well, it's funny that this guy though walked in and he built up a head of steam. Because he came in from the car, walked through that fucking door, saw her a little bit. They always have a basket of laundry. I don't know why that doesn't tip. Yeah, what child is doing long? None. Yeah, what child was doing laundry And what child has hair like fucking rota from Mary Tyler Moore and makes tea. Makes tea.

Yeah, that didn't even look for tea. Yeah, okay. He went right in. Yeah, he can't use a stove at fucking nine. Yeah. But he's caught whether he comes in or not, right? This is just for the show when they get it. No, if he does not come in.

He does not come in. I believe if he does not come in, then it's just, well, the other things words, the other, how did they prove that he wasn't going to come in and just be like, you know what? Because that's they have the chat conversation. Because then he's in the, then he's in, it's like intent at that point with the danger in the mind. That's why they ask him to bring specific items. So it shows intent that he's, he's got one of these idiots. never goes. I was here to teach your lesson. I was here.

I wanted to teach him. I think somebody did. Yeah, that's happened. Yeah, sure. I have that footage where somebody's like, look, man, I'm trying to school. He's got this guy, you know, just pulled his pants down. He's a fucking, he has no dick.

Yeah. And it says no children. Yeah. And it has like a ghost boss assemble over his fucking badge. They also, they filmed this. I think for the most part in Georgia, because Georgia, you don't have to get consent to air your face on TV. So that's why they film this.

Did your research did you, Shuley? Yeah, well, I know we're not to go. What states to avoid when I'm on Tinder? Yeah. But that's why these guys, you know, they work in Georgia. Like, why would you sign a release? It blows my mind, but even with cops that blows my mind to show when you're watching people like just the white trash people just, you know, like shooting at their neighbors and then

being like, yeah, I'll sign a list. This is what I'm gonna be on TV. All right. When's it gonna be all right? What is true, some people being on TV is as fucking epic. Yeah. They don't give a shit. No, they don't come on. I'm on cops. Check out cops who gives a shit Yeah, I actually did I did remember real stories of a highway patrol hell yeah, I did an episode of that That's for you in the dramatization. Yeah, that's funny. One of the first huge real acting gigs I have a book was that those reenactments reenactments were so that rescue 911 remember the rescue 911 show they used to do William

Shatter use the host. Yeah, the reenactment. Those were like reenactment to do this reenactment So first of all we were getting chased by real cops in a car. They bought there was no budget Right, so they would just fucking rogue shoot these with no permits no stunt people So there's traffic on the street. What you guys are doing? They bought a car. They bought some shit car. They said I want you to do 70 up the road and then just cut the wheel and take that left up there. This residential. With the cops. Well, the cops shut this road down. So I'm in this car with this this actor nerd. Do I'm like fucking yeah. You have no training. I'm 21. I'm gonna be fucking you. You have a mullet at that point. Oh fucking

I'm always just going to be internet somewhere. I can't find it. I'm flying up the road Cops are behind us. I step on it. We hit that left. I go fucking gush hit a bump Oh fump you hear the axiogled Tang Like a like a tuning fork. And there's a camera right there waiting for us to go by. We just literally roll by and I look at the camera and I go, hey, and I wave,

because I just trash the car. We're all into a snow. Oh, it was fucking crazy. Yeah. Well, Oh, shit. What was that? Somebody's phone. Get your phone off the table, you fucking mook. No, boy. What's that somebody's phone get your phone off the table you fucking moock

Is a busy guy. I'm a I'm busier All right Jesus. I have a four-year-old. That's what I said anybody who doesn't have a fucking kid I'm busy. I'm way busier. Yeah, cuz I have a kid who goes I want you to be with me daddy It's not a contest huh? It is a contest. No, it's you know, you know, you're the only one without kids. You selfish cocks I don't like my cleaners and have any kids. He has he has a kid Estrogen comes out of his dick the shoots eggs out He gets ready to come and he just goes ready to come and he just goes, broop, to the next part of the terrible.

No, he don't. Did you have a fiat? No, I didn't have kids with you wife. I think someday that'd be cool. I mean, I think I'm a ways away from that. Can't wait to see your Instagram feed then. You fucking asshole. I know.

Party and all over the fucking world with his wife. We do, I do get jealous. The only thing that makes me happy is that Janice is friends with Paul Verzi who has kids too. That makes me happy. A lot of his friends have children, which makes me happy. We drag him down. I love kids. I love being a run kids.

Yeah, you love being a leavey. This is the first year of my life where I actually can appreciate being around a child. Like my entire life, I've always been like, you know, there's a baby or I find no, I'm just like get this thing away for, and this is the first year. I think it was because my, my cousin had a kid now. So she's like the baby in the family because I was the youngest one on both sides of my family.

So now I'm finally like, oh, I could see what kids are cute and they grow up and they try and like hug your leg and everyone they're trying to stand. It's pretty, uh, well, so the reason for the show date line, we just watch. Yeah. Why do you want kids someday? Yeah, I got to have kids, you know, just to somebody's around to watch the end of the world with my jeans and I mean, do you?

Is that really why you want a kid? Do you think someday to be around that your legacy or your, your name lives on or somebody to be around to take care of you later or? I think I want a kid because it's like what I'm supposed to do now because I'm done doing everything else. Like what getting ass play and. Yeah.

Three boxes at a time in Vegas. Yeah, yeah, like everything else is I have. I have no nuts on tits. He flipped that first page on the clipboard. He's like, oh, I guess kids next. All right. I have no more gizz in my balls. I have nothing. I have no will to do anything except go home.

It's my favorite thing to do is when I open the door and I'm home. So that means it's time for kids. I don't want to go out. I don't want to sit at a blast thing that means, Yarnis. No, no, no, I know what he's saying though. Yeah, I'm done partying. Sure. Because we feel that way too.

Yeah. And now that we have kids, but then you walk in, and then, but then you walk in the house. And then yeah, then you walk in the house, you like, get me. That's why I bought a shed. Right. I literally bought a shed.

I literally bought a shed. I was 17,000 feet humidor in your house. I have a shed and a fucking, and I literally have another place from, I literally bought another place for me to go. I had somebody drive, I had homage people, save my marriage. And they drop that sucker off and I go, I had somebody drive, I'm as people save my marriage.

And they drop that sucker off and I go, I gotta go do some work and I go in there. And that's it. I mean basically that's what you have. You have family time? Yeah. Or work. It can't be that bad.

It's not bad. It just was so spoiled now. It's just hard. You remember when grandparents would have like 14, three would die in the living room and they'd be like, all right, let's make three more. Yeah, but how much? I got one. but how much attention were you paid to as a kid by your parents or your grandparents? They're but you work that's right everybody work way harder to be a good a good

Let me tell you right now. Now you're an asshole. It's way harder to be a good dad than to just be a dad Yeah, you know, stand up saying yeah, I'm trying to be a good father, which is way harder. I am good, but it's a lot of work. Yeah. A lot of work, a lot of self, you have to really pay attention to what the fuck you're doing. Yeah. So, when you come home, it's not, you can't be selfish. My grandfather would come home from work and

You could not talk to him You could he yet came home read the paper smoked a cigar had dinner and after dinner you could talk to him Yeah, that's some crazy shit. I would love if I came home tonight after this shit And nobody could talk to me and I got got on my iPad Pro, the 12 inch one with my new keyboard. You love your gadgets. Oh, do I? I'm gonna buy an Osmo.

I'll tell you about it later. Uh-huh. Doesn't go when you pussy, so really. I don't have to steal. That's the old me now. I just had to know me. The new me is concerned about the market. I mean, once the last government,

last deal goes. Ron Paul is my new name. Why would you rail here? Oh god, imagine having a fucking have that date. And so anyway, it was a little, a little, a little, a little, two hours later. And then there you blow, blow, blow, blow. Yeah, but Dave doesn't show up.

Fuck up. He does. He does. When his face is buried in my mouth, I'm not going to do it in my mouth. He's still fucking terrible. Do you ever, at least he just talking politics or whatever, and you ever just take his head

and push it to the side? Nah, he doesn't do that often. They just hear him louder, because you're vagina-shears. Yeah. Is there an echo in here? Well, now it's huge. He goes down to the wrong. Ron Paul is the actual person that we should do people.

Listen to me, I am Dave Smith we need last government why is David an airport? is just holding holding Lauren over his head listen people skate fast is this weekend well you know what dude is Sunday at 1 o'clock to 2 o'clock see my megaphone girlfriend pussy. It is we're gonna be at Skankfeds the sun day. That's right.

Yeah. I just think that, you know, it is the greatest, you have two, which somehow to me would be easier. Well, it's not. That ain't even close. I'll tell you a lot. Can I tell you why? Can I just give you the case before you...

Before you shoot it down? Yeah. Because the other one has somebody to play with. My kid, when I come home, wants to play, I'm his friend. I'm his pal. Yeah. Okay.

And I don't want to see my kid play in a loan. Nobody does. That's some crazy shit. If you're a good parent, nobody wants to see it. Yeah, you see your kid just fucking talking Nobody does that's some crazy. It's your good parent nobody wants to see a kid Just fucking talking to somebody in the corner. We're fucking Legos. Yeah, I don't want that so me my kid I have I have you know the Incredibles sure I have the whole outfit He's he's dashed. I'm mr. Incredible. I mean granted my belt ripped off and there's a slip down the side I can't put the Velcro on the back. The game just turned into the incredible

Hulk. And my lower half, my lower half, oh, I look like a fucking 90 year old dyke. Just my fat pussy, my nuts turned into a fucking elephant's cont. It's, it really does. It looks like the bottom of an elephant's trunk. You should be on a pride. It's does. It looks like the bottom of an elephant's trunk. Like you should be on a pride slow way. Mike, as I put the first time with the costume on, my wife went, oh, baby. Oh, oh, oh. Like, I locked a finger off. I'm gonna go, a puppy got right over it. Oh, sorry.

Oh. Who's more self deprecating than me? Yeah. Oh, because that's the thing. Do you, would either of you, if you could do it over again, have a kid earlier later or with about the same time? I'm trying to change everything now in the next few years to that I will, you mean, look, I hopefully, I'm trying to change everything now in the next few years to that I will, you know, the food, the things I do, blah, blah, blah. That by the time I'm 50, I will be an okay and shape, healthy.

I mean, I'm taking all this bullshit out of my diet and blah, blah, blah, blah, and learning that and doing things and we're trying to change everything. You're trying to get sexy, blah, be back. Now try to get sexy, blah, be back. I'm just trying to take all the, I just want to take all the shit out of my diet, all the corn syrup, all the corn starches, all the fruit toasts, all the shit that the government, you know, I mean, God Christ, even strawberries, if they're not organic, they're loaded with

shit that they spray on them so that they, the bugs don't, it's fucking nuts. You just want to be able to see your deck. I don't care about being a little chubby. I would love to see my deck, bro. I would love this. Hey stranger, it's been a while. Why?

Why so shiny? I would love that, but I do want it. But having a kid young, I know these guys who had their kids young, and you're like, fuck, by the time they're 54, they're fucking free again. Yeah, but I think I was a lot more selfish younger than I am when I had the kid. Like I got my shit together a lot faster at the age we had our first kid because I was older, I think.

Well I actually heard Tucker Carlson given interview on the Gavin McGinnish show. Yeah. And he said the opposite. He goes I had my kids young, I had four kids young and it drove me to become successful because I had to feed these people. I had to put them to school. Yeah. I knew there was a deadline on a lot of the stuff with these people and it made me become what I am because I had to. And when I was younger, I mean, if I had a kid earlier, you know, you always say that maybe you wouldn't be in the business of luck, but it might have made me, I am way more efficient now.

Right. And I am such an open book now on trying to learn as much as I can to better my brain and better my productivity than I was when I was 20 or even in my 30s. Now I'm like, okay, I have an hour. What can I do? Because I need to feed this fucking kid in five years. And I'm going to be dead soon. And the beauty thing about where you're at right now in your career is you can pick and

choose where you're going and what you're doing whereas if you would have had this kid younger and you have to do these gigs and you have to do these spots and you can't not be there for the family. You know you're in a different position back then at least now you're a lot more flexible with being able to be there for your family look Look, how many comics do you know that have a family and it's one or the other? They either stop doing comedy or they end up getting a divorce. Well, you know, it's tough. Well, they, ah. Well, what do you mean?

What do you mean? There's a lot of comics that I know that had, that start, were doing comedy. They weren't at a huge level. They had a wife, they had kids, and now they gotta go out and grind, and they gotta, and they gotta get better. They gotta, they gotta perform. They gotta do the wife, they had kids, and now they got to go out and grind, and they got to, and they got to get better, they got to, they got to perform, they got to do the spots, they got to go on the road, and the wife is at home all day with the kid.

Where it should be. No escape. And that takes a toll. You know? I agree. That's like what my wife would say if like I ever approached the wife, The conversation chat. It's always just my turkish sultan. You guys have good switch rings at any time. People do history that better joke. We got it. We got it. You're being fucking Colin Quinnesk. But yeah, that would that would be one of her fears that she's like, I don't want to be a single mom. Basically, you know, I mean, even if it mean, even if we're still married,

if it's like, if I'm on the road a lot or something and then she's just home alone raising a child alone, that's tough. Yeah, but first of all, it's totally opposite. Comics spend way more time with their kids than other guys. Because if you do the math, break down the math. A guy who works in nine to five or,

he's got to wake up and get there. Yeah. It's 5.30. It's six o'clock. He's gone before the kid gets up. Yeah. Okay, and then he comes home, five o'clock, he gets home at six, six, 30. The kids go to bed at eight.

You're spending a couple hours with a maybe if you get home on time. Okay, and then you basically have Saturday and Sunday. What do I have? I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I can a lot of weekends. Friday, Friday, Monday, you. I was trying to make a joke. It was good, I guess.

You're gonna get defensive. I should have took the hit. That's what we're doing here. I should have took the hit. I admit it. All right, but it did hurt. My summer's a little, my summer's a little light. So we spend way more time than we then most dads do.

I wake up and my kid he jumps and about me and then you know, I'm with them all day long all day long Also, it's great because all you all day long It's like your friends come over their comedians and like grown kids. Yeah, like I always thought about what Versi's kids like their life over their comedians and like grown kids. Yeah. Like I always start about what versies kids, like their life, when they look back on their life, being young, how awesome it's gonna be to know, just like the funniest people in the world are just always there.

I mean, my people say that, your people say, I did not know what you guys name them. Who's that guy? I know him from somewhere. My people say that, but your, his kids are gonna go, what is he doing? What's he hanging out with some guy that dress like a girl I have a picture of my kid at the comics come home. It's a black and white I took with me

And Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy's the nicest guy on the fucking He's so cool and he it matches in the middle. And he looks so cool. And Jimmy's like, fucking what? I'm like, that kid's gonna look at that photo something and go, what happened to your career, Dad? Like, what the fuck? What?

Why? What the fuck? Right there, kid. Like, Look at man, I think you would make a great dad. I would not you. I think you're gonna make a shit of worse than so what are you guys going to adopt Asian? I think I bet. No, I would never 19 year old. I would never, you know, stop a trans baby. To catch a predator or other children.

Yeah, picture-versed. Can I help you do adopt a kid and he's way tougher and macho than you? Yeah. Well, I hear this. I seriously, I've never identified with a father like who I would think I would be more than like Phil Dumpfee and modern family.

Like I think that that like stupid like kind of a part like I that. Every time I see him, I'm just like, I when I watch a show I know we're supposed to laugh at him, but I'm like, he's a terrific parent. I think everything he's doing is right. Who knows how to fix steps? Nobody, nobody knows how to do that.

Well, my wife is a little too bossed and for me, a little, because she's out there teaching them, she put like the bases out and put a ball out, and she's teaching, and I went, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pop, pop, no, you pop up now you got to let Boston be Boston come on. I go you don't teach him how to fucking you don't teach him how to play baseball Bob, but you animals do now my wife's not fucking teaching my kid how to catch Yeah, you got to do that. That's me. Yeah, let her teach Boston the girls do that too, don't they?

Yeah, let her teach all the boss and the girls do that too, don't they? Yeah, well, how come they weren't in field of dreams then, y'all? Yes, right? I just father and son. Boston is like the most, but that fucking baseball gender equal fucking city. You walk around women are just walking around in bell bottoms and red socks hats. You know, you're like, oh, let's be enough fucking work. Let me get the joke out. Madam, thank you.

Go ahead. Let's let's let up fucking work it's a joke out Thank you Keep going That a pack of lesbians coming for me or am I indoor chest there? Thank you And I spilled water Just cuz I want to watch you clean And I spilled water. Oh, no. No. Just because I want to watch you clean. Oh, Jesus Christ. Hey, leave my girlfriend alone.

I repeat, leave my girlfriend alone. That's the problem. Like, dating, two comics are dating. Navdavs can be like, how can you fucking sit to my girlfriend? You like to watch? I'm like, I'm joking, man. Yeah, that's my girl. I'm in love with her. No, no, no, Dave's's day. I would never say that if Dave didn't have to take it

I'm just gonna name in I'm just joking. You know that I take it and Lauren's Lauren's her loyalty lies here first. She told me oh, yeah, dump Dave if you want if you wanted to she'll dump them for the show right Lauren Wow Right Lauren My girlfriend loves me I'm speaking through her vagina right now What the fuck have you told him? Or did you just announce it first in a podcast? Lewis Gomez I swear Did lose David

She has a giant Shivering tell me who shivered no, no, I'll be Dave was it in the rain. I'll be Davey her This is I'm feeling stuff Tell me who's shiver. No, no, I'll be Dave. Was it in the right? I'll be Davey be her So hey, um wait This is I'm feeling stuff Feeling a lot of things law Doesn't he know he started to play the location moon sugar. I want to tell you something. Yeah Yeah, and I've never felt this way about anybody or anything except legions of skanks. And we're on Paul, right?

And Lewis. Yeah. Because he forced me. Yeah. Law. Yeah. Yeah, Davey. No.

Yeah, Davey. I don't know if I can. I'm scared. Just out of the way. I'm scared. I can't help it. I I'm scared I'm scared I Can't help it. I'm scared. I'm scared too. I'm scared. Why am I from Boston? Just don't hurt me. I don't want to get hurt either. Yeah, you know, I talk a lot right? Yeah, real I

Sometimes you don't listen to other people's points. You just keep going and going and going from one angle. But that's not what I'm talking about right now. But I understand. I understand. It's what your podcast fans need. Listen. It's what Lewis says you have to do to keep the numbers up.

I guess digital. Listen, you got to promise me. Look at me. Look. I'm going to tell you something right now. You got to promise me. Promise me. Promise me from the heart of hearts from where you lie that you won't tell Lewis. I told you He'll get mad at me and he'll hit me with a fidget spinner

Promise me I promise you Dave from the bottom of my trashy new jersey My trashy new jersey heart. I want to say this so you know I mean it. Okay, so I'm gonna go down here Lauren I'm speaking inside your vagina right now Lauren can you Lauren I love you baby I'm gonna say it's the whole neighborhood can hear me. I love Lauren Lauren Neighborhoods all in there You love them huh? Yeah, so who said first? I know that was a great play. We just did. Yeah, it's great

What do you do you said it first set a first, right? What? No, he said it first. Yes. Wow. Now, when you said he said it first, did you feel obligated to say it back? Or did you want to? I want it. And when did he force you to start?

You're obligated. When did he force you to start dressing like you're about to be a guest? No, he's a boss business. Yeah. Like you're about to go on Kennedy. She used to dress all lighthearted. Now she dresses like she's gonna be on Legion of Skanks every day.

Christine give you a uniform before. Okay, now Briggett really came up with this. And so you have to follow this. Okay, it has to be black and it has to be fucking fringy and wavy, okay? Is that a jeans have to show your ass? Are those prescription or? No, that's what I feel.

Yeah. You can either wear glasses, mittens, or like warmers, that's it. You have to look skanky but intelligent, but you might know something. Now let's practice your skank hands, throw them up. Throw them up. Let's see if you know the skank hands.

Throw them up. The little diamond that they do. Is this diamond? It's from Diamond Delas page, isn't it? It's not as if they just took his leg. Gangfest this week and Sunday, why can't we be the, we have Lewis Gomez, Danso and Joe list. I'll be there too.

You coming on. I will be on the skankfest on Saturday night. Oh, Saturday night. You got a Saturday night. Yeah, the fucking founder of everything. I'll be there on Sunday afternoon. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Party, would you do Skarik first? Yeah. fucking founder of everything. I'll be there in Sunday. Sunday afternoon. Party. Would you do Skypast? Yeah.

Okay, cool. Sunday at one o'clock. We're doing nooner. What's this fucking church? Prime slot, Bobby. Yeah. Prime slot. Yeah. No, I think I think a home. Well, is it? At least you have time to be a good dad, play with the kid after that. You know, I'm going to tell my wife it's had fun from one to seven.

Oh, God. All right. let's do this read real quick and don't fast forward through it. You know, this is how it sucks. It really is. It's like this how we pay the bill. So back bone, the YKWD. Yeah. Yeah. The backbone. One of them. Come the backbone. This is actually a good sponsor that I actually love. Do you like movies? Bobby, I love movies ever seen you like TV shows love them. Do you like music big fan? Of course you are of Melissa Etheridge You tell me you don't like Melissa Etheridge lock as you know the words and they're staying your heart Wow, that's a nice falsetto. Yeah, that's his voice he uses on weekends

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The name says it all, deepdiscount.com. Everything is deeply discounted. You'll find new releases too. Out this week, T2 train spotting, which is the first train spotting was very good. Did you see it? They made the second one. They made a second one, which I didn't know either, but you know you can do. What can you do, Bobby? Right now you go to deep dish down deep deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep.

Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep. Deep Yes, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, Dup, I mean, EMMA Gregor is insane in Fargo this year. Have you seen Fargo this year? That's why I love television. It's changed so much. Fargo this year, every year is a different set of amazing actors. And this year, EMMA Gregor, he plays two different people. He plays his own brother, which is insane. But trains it off.

Pulls it off. Yeah. Trainspotting, the beginning of the year, and then all of a sudden, you're like, he does it. Train spotting, which is 20 years old, which is crazy. Wow. And what's his name? From elementary, he was one of my favorite actors

who was in hacking with Angelina Judge Lee. His name alludes me right now. He's one of my favorite actors. He was in hackers, he was in trainsbodding, and he's also, he's elementary, plays Sherlock Holmes. On the TV show, do you watch that show? I don't know. One of my favorite shows, elementary. Yeah, the TV show right there, that guy. What's his name? The guy. She's gonna pull it up any fucking day now Yeah, I keep talking and it comes up. It's more the interiors You know, we're getting new internet up here by the way

It's instantaneous. It's the fastest internet on the planet earth is coming to Ryakash studio via downstairs It's in you you upload something instantaneous nice download something. It's there. That's it So you want we won't have these delays when I ask you for what's his name? Johnny Lee Miller Okay So you can get that now Here's the thing This that I can't wait to see this movie to get you copying now of

Trainspotting to on DVD blu-ray ultra HD for a really great price. At deepdiscount.com or click there logo, found on my website. Of course you'll find a bunch of my material, all of our materials on there. Do you have a CD, Shule? Not yet, I'm recording one though. I have an old DVD from 2010, but... Oh, sure, it's not on deep disk,

guys, it's on deep disk now? Not yet, no, can't be. Can't I put it on deep disk count? I mean, how do you discount it anymore? It'll, it'll be there, it'll be there eventually. Yeah. Yeah, you'll be able to go to the free section of deep discount.

This point, it costs deeply. Yeah. It costs us money to put it on our side. I'd say, you can get it now if you say hi to me. Well, my material's on deepdiscount.com too. Support our sponsor and be good to yourself. Buy it on it. Watch it when you want.

Check it out now. That's it. And what is it? DeepDiscount.com. Thank you very much for listening to the sponsor. And back to the program at hand. Can I get my album on here? Yeah, yeah, you can.

All right, what's your album called? Let me be honest. That's us. We gave you that. Um, yeah. Oh, by the way, Bobby, thanks. I mean, you didn't even did really well. It's a good pun. I got the characters. So I said, you know, he's telling you it's a good part. I know we made

I'm my show. Bobby turns out it's got late. Well, to be fair, yours was let's be honest and you would back in. Yeah, you'd go let's be honest and you guys would make fun of me for 40 minutes straight. Yes. Yeah, that was fun. It was a lot of fun. And you took that. I took that hit on like you, which your fragile ego. I took the hit. You took the hit. I took the hit you took the head. I took the hit yeah, but that actually when you set out of fragile main want to throw a bottle A beer at your head not have any beer you know I have a bottle. It's called the Lewis bottle It's my Lewis bottle. It's a case of emergency. I smash it in the neck clock sucka I'm coming at you for a rear-naked chokehold

I'll believe it Bobby I know I know like so That was one of the best fights ever Ah, why was it really? Especially when he fell in the chair Sitting right there The funniest thing ever We had this big fight on the show me and Lewis

Because we're both boneheads We're both fucking assholes You're literally the same guy Well, let's not get carried away. All right way more successful And I go to therapy. I'm trying He's just saying I'm a fucking bully deal with it and then I'll punch your wife in the face, okay? I Mean he owns it at least that you really go one or two is ways without personality

You own it and fucking fuck you roll the dice. Oh you trying to become a better person over 40 years? So I'm this way, he's that way. And we had this big fucking, I'm fucking leaving because I'm in the face. I'm like fuck you. Wait, wait, wait. I can go listen to this. Oh yeah, whatever.

So does it. I think it's called wait for it. Yeah, wait for it. And he, he's yelling, I'm fucking like fuck you. What was that over? Rose battle. Rose battle. Was it Rose battle? No, well, you'm fucking like fuck you. What was that over? Rose battle. Rose battle. Was it Rose battle?

No, it was over him. No, it was over him. No, it was because I was sticking up for a fellow comedian on V. I don't like, look, here's a deal. We can sit here right now and rip apart. I'll bring up fucking Liza Slesinger and I'm friends with Liza I'm friends with all in all these new and we could sit here and fucking trash And we can all pick sides and argue over it. I fuck cool who's starting? Oh We're not doing that. I don't give a fuck. It's like I already should fear said it best on it

Just call them up call if you're a comic call the other comic and go hey What the fuck are you saying? What if you don't know him, though? Who gives a fuck? Did it, you know him now? But what if you want a lot of attention for what you're gonna say? Look, how do you do it that? I understand why you do it because it was done in the open. So you're gonna respond in the open.

I understand why people do it. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying, me and him were having this argument and we actually had a conversation night before in private that he just brought out in the open. And he was like, well, that's not what you said. And I'm like, oh God, you know, because I care about him, I care about the other person, I care about,

you know, anybody who's on the show, I give a fuck about. And I didn't, I'm not just trashing somebody because you say, because I have a dick between my legs. Even Deepo? Mm. All right, so there's exceptions. We're also not just representing Robert Kelly,

representing Ryan Cass, and there's, you know. I mean, yes, but here it is. I'm from friends with you, and he doesn't like you. Right. That doesn't mean I don't have to like you. How many times I've fucking done this in this shit business where a comic friend of mine came up to me and said that fucking bitch Fuck her she did this that this now, and I'm such a loyal fuck. You're like Amy's my friend

Don't say that I'm like now But I'm saying like oh and then I'll write that person off like fuck you And I'm like you treated my friend like shit and then two months later I'll see them at the bar fucking hanging out and I'm like dude. What the fuck? Oh, we made up. It's cool I was fucked up. I was a little wrong. Well, tell me Cuz I fucking didn't like them for you now you're on the outs now They don't like me because I treated him like shit for you and you're a fucking phony cock fuck They don't get your street code that street code

You got beef. I got beef. It's still how I that's how I live right, but it's it's it's dumb I don't live that way anymore because we're adults because if I like you and I like them I'm not you do like me right why who's fucking insecure now? What are you saying if I'm talking to you from inside Lawrence have self-esteem, you fucking fat freak. I know you're not fat. I love you, I love you. You're so smart. He is. He is so smart. I love that she thinks Dave is smart. He is so smart. He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. He's smart. For the group that he hangs out with. If he hung out with Nomen's his fram, he'd be a dumb bow. He's so so classy. He doesn't work in a jail. Did the dog judge dance by the T-shirts?

He borrows from Lewis. You know who goes? So what he wears buttoned downs that are supposed to be tucked in and too big. So what he, I'm bigger than the inner group of both naked Alright Especially was really good and smart it was really small. It was really good There was 13 people there and they all loved it

And Lewis went around and sat in different chairs for the different shots I love it It was actually pretty good And Lewis went around and sat in different chairs, but in different shots. And he left him. It was actually a pretty good special. I'm actually pretty honored to be a part of it. I tell you, they broke his fucking legroom. It was like, you better do this special. Okay, it's good. Tell people it was full.

Oh, you got it on bar. Oh, ow. Here's your pay. Come on, unlock. Anyways, two fucking gorillas went at it and we boy, he's gonna leave and I was telling him to go fuck himself and he got his bag on and was well, that was a funny spot.

Lou, he got mad, you know, Lou is a big mother fucker and he gets mad and but he didn't have a backpacker. He had like a purse messenger bed. So he had to put it all, he had to like put his purse on. Fuck you. And he had to like,. He had like a purse messenger. So he had to put it all he had to like put his purse on Fuck you and he had like And adjust it like a purse and that was pretty funny if you watch it It's pretty funny and then he sat back down and he fucking went to throw a kick at Dan Soda And he fucking kick at Dan Soda. Well just joking

And he flipped off his chair. Oh there. It's great. I literally I grabbed that camera camera and put right like like TMZ I had it on his fucking head. I am a piece of shit. So you guys made up and everything's fine. Look, man. Of course, we all make up with the fuck where we're lunatics. Well, that's what people don't stand. Well, you're a fucking lunatic. Oh, you're a come on, dude.

Get out of here. I am so stable. You're not stable. I am very stable. You're not, buddy, you like me, which makes you not stable. You're not stable. I am very stable. You're not buddy. You like me, which makes you not stable Okay, I'm emotional. I got anybody not like you Bobby Yeah, thank you from invite me tell me to your son's barbecue. No, no, what do you mean? Yeah? You're welcome. Thanks for coming. I can you invite me you get you get you invited me 13 minutes before it was happening

It doesn't matter Jesus Christ. Well, you remembered, that's what it was. You were like, oh yeah. Two and Yandes. Two. That's not true. I was one of those. You should name that in XCD. And Yandes.

And now he will, though, you came up with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What, wait, what's the name of your CD? Let's be honest. And you go, no, he said no, Bobby. You guys came up with, let's be honest.

Right, no. This is the same thing. That's the different you're doing the vanilla ice Billy Joel under pressure. No, my nose, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Nobody cares what it really is. He just made fun of her fucking leg. He's making a phone chat. Oh, right, that's what she turned on you. Yeah, I know. She's saying I'm not good. Yeah.

Hey, it's not that I thought you dated a fucking mediocre cop. She's fucking, she's a bang-naughton. We wouldn't be talking. Like, I was known as the okay. Give her time. This is the first time. No. I'm joking.

Come on, it's a joke. I mean I mean God what's happening in this fucking room? Fucking sense in I'm gonna fucking joke Jesus Christ, what is the fucking Ted talking here? No, don't say that. That's me That's what we do here Me That's what we do That's what we do That's what we do What do We do mean here

We'll fuck you Yeah, it's great. Don't agree Thank you Oh Lord's on fire Lord's on fire Let him have it Fuck you

But she Greek fuck you Did you go from Greek? Fuck it! Yeah, thank you! Did you go from Greek? She is Greek. What a whore. Oh, listen, like it's overplaying your head. Yeah, get a little cat. I mean, it's supposed to come with a joke, but I just did. Yeah, I know you don't know how to do those yet, but.

Come on! She was talking! She was talking! God, he was talking about Dave! Oh, no, you! She was talking! She was talking! God, he was talking about D! No, you're not! He's talking! There we go!

That's the YKWD I know. I always forget which letters are. I know you don't get it. You leaned into reading. What are you on, Susie? Yes! I'm sorry. Sorry, we're talking about Lewis and I start screaming

Here's the thing is you literally have a blow-up fuck you fight with us. You could call the next day What's up, dude? What's going on? He's like a Vietnam Valley What's up, dude? Hey, can you do? Buddy, we just had a real lesson? Broke us in the middle of it. Buddy, we just had a knife fight in front of the stand. And we, are you okay? Okay, cool.

Can you do it? You cut Max. That was a good one. Is he okay? Yeah, that was like, is he okay? Can you still, can you, are you available? Anyways, I got a piss. That was very funny.

I, yeah, that we had a big, we had a big mother fucker thing, but I think podcasts interesting with that shit because the one thing that you can count on, I think even on this show, look, I listen to, I've been starting to listen to some podcasts and they're very interviewee. What are you listening to? What are you liking these days?

Shouly's podcast? No. Do youly's podcast? No I don't Look at I listen to like rogue Rogan's podcast is very interview-y But I find with that podcast the information you get is Almost better than television things depending on you. It's coming from you. Well, I mean look I think the one thing I love about Rogan is that he knows a lot of shit. Yeah.

Very opinionated, but very informed. But he also will learn shit. He's not the guy that he will be like, oh, I didn't know that, you know what I mean? Oh, he'll look something up and figure it out right on the show. Very intelligent. But has the guess he has on, has stepped up a lot.

So when you watch that, it's almost like shit, I didn't know that and I'll go off and go YouTube, whatever the fuck they were talking about. Do I listen to the whole show? Absolutely not, I can't do that. I don't know if it's the comic on my ADD or OCD or whatever the fuck I have. Some shows he does are like three and a half hours long. Right, but it's like this show I find is more of a, you know, not to be cliche of a comic hang.

Right. People come on the show. It doesn't matter who you are. We fucking smash each other. But there's also a lot of dialogue and interesting shit set about fatherhood, not having a kid or maybe something. I mean, we, I think we hit, you know, but when we have these moments,

I don't think there's anybody I've snapped on people, people have snapped on me on here, and I kind of like that. It's like one thing that makes the Stern Show not to kiss your fucking ass because it has nothing to do with you, but you're on the show. We're on the show.

The one thing you love about the Stern Show is if there's a, when you and Gary, I listen to whatever the fuck that was, you and Gary fought it out on the fucking air. In front of how you guys have it out on the air. It's the most compelling shit in the world. I was talking to Colin about this. And it keeps the show together

because you have to work it out. It's out in the open. You're not walking around being passive aggressive. You're not building up resentment for years. You're not holding these tickets, and then one day it's exploding. It's coming out when it happens. You're fighting it out, and then however long it takes,

you get through it, and you'll be friends again. And you're right. That's compelling shit to me. We get along better now and we ever have. And we're good We're good buddies now and but it's like you forget how real Shit gets even though you're working for a show and everybody you know you vent to people throughout the course of your day and people talk and

Word gets back and next thing you know people know Messages are sent and you're it's on the air and now you know what what are you gonna do? You got it you got to stand up and and and argue your point right and so and that person's not gonna back down either But there's why I mean nobody fucks with Howard. No, nobody does I mean you can't not it was will be there ever one for him No, who's gonna fuck with him? Yeah, no, but the thing that he allows is to have it out on the air But even he has it out. I guess I guess I take that back because he does have it out with the like Scott the engineer will fucking the the shit's going on with him. I love that shit. I love when people fight for real.

When there's a show and it's MPRE or interview and it's very and it's like, I like it. I think Rogan's is the only one I can listen to. I can listen to Bertu because he rants on him. You know, he'll just go off on a tangent. Mark Marin does good interview. Stern. I can listen to Stern do interviews. Stern's the best interviewer I've ever heard.

I think he's really good. Best interviewer like just comes out. There's no meat left on that. Oh, he like really is. Yeah, he's just amazing. He just comes across so interested in he asked the questions. You feel like every you want to know. Yeah, yeah, he's into it 110%.

It's really weird how much the show has changed, too. Because I just found in my, I have this, you know, all this memorabilia, I found the poster, the Leroy Newman poster, that I got when I bought his book. Yeah. Because I was a fan back in the day. I used to watch that, you know, I used to work

with mentally retarded people. Did you? I worked with day. I used to watch that channel, I used to work with mentally retarded people. I worked with them, I lived with them, and then I did an overnight shift at another house where I would go and stay, and it was Saturday night, and what I would do is watch Stern on whatever cable channel it was, and I was, that was my fucking greatest thing ever. You used to be on Channel 9 back there, right?

Channel 9, I was in Boston though. So I don't think it was Channel 9, but it was Channel 9 there. It was whatever cable access was in Boston. That show, like it blew Saturday night live out of the water. Way out of the water. Like it was so ahead of its time and so edgy

and fucking funny man. I got the TV show when I was living in LA before I heard the radio show. So that was my first experience of Howard was this TV show where there, you know, pranking celebrities and playing homeless Hollywood squares and that was crazy shit.

I'm like, what the fuck is this? It's crazy, because Channel 9 in New York, for people that don't know, when I moved to New York City and I moved up to a Billy's apartment on 97th and I remember turning the cable on for the first night by myself and it was just this chick dancing with her tits out. Robin Burnt?

Yep. I'm watching Baby Wants to Bang your box. Right? It was always that weird red filter over everything. I'm sitting there with the remote on the couch because they didn't have that in Boston. Right. And I'm sitting there and she's dancing. And it tits her out.

And I think there was a, then the next show was a cop, a guy in a cop outfit. And another guy was just ripping his toes out of his slacks socks and sucking on his toes. And I was, I remember calling my mom going, mom, I don't know what the fuck's happening. I thought it was a channel burr order and I was, but then I found out that it was like, it was just cable access.

Yeah, for people who don't know, that was like a long running New York City local access TV show that Robin Bird had. But the commercials were all porn. Yeah, because yeah, that's where it shows. It was all hey guys Right when it's a commercial. Hey guys That trainee wants to you like it daddy call 8 9 9 7 9 9 9 6 inches Yeah, the hormone treatment wasn't as good back in the What's up?

My name's Daniel. Yeah, they all look like Monroe. She's petting her beard like a bomb villain. But it was I'm a watch in that. We can't show it on here, but if you get YouTube, YouTube that shit. They would always dance at the end. She would make everyone dance. Yeah, what's that she would just make everyone dance And even if it was like some naked guy, he just be dancing was limp

Yeah, like a big muffa hair just like dancing weird Most of it was like 70s and it was just like reruns so out all the 90s right wasn't it like 70s and 80s? Well, no, no, it was not I think she still had it was strong Into the 90s 90s 90s because I mean I mean 90s I definitely watched that because I used to come on it like 11 or midnight or something Are you from New York spilt a lot of seam into that show really? Yeah, um, you spilt it to put it in hand He's got a drink it that it fell there. He's walking across the room with a handful of jizz.

Well, there is a time when you're trying to drink. Oh, shit. I need the tide stick. Just love drinking off the prep. He sounded so unbelievable what he said that. I spilled a lot of semen Right fellas, I'm just one of the guys Don't you guys spill a lot of semen we all have sex right?

Spilt a lot of the semen now guys I made it when you're fucking a pussy And you're just fucking And it's like never ending. A lot of Siemens falls out of your spills out of your mouth. No, I mean, no. I had a really weird setup for like, for like an adolescent teen because I used to have, I had a water bed.

Like I went from a race car bed when I was a child and then went right to a water bed. There was no, I never had a mattress, so like... You fucking Dudley Moore. I was like, it was like right to a water bed. There was no, I'd never had a mattress so like. You fucking doodly moored. I was like, it was like, some seventies porn starship where I've just sit on this bed and then I would be, I would turn it on late, I just little tiny TV in the corner of my room and I'm just watching this

and I like, the bathroom used to be next to my mom's room so I was like, I'm not gonna get anything to clean this up so I didn't know what to do with commoners. Lizzy. I just, I would like, I would like, come and then was like, I'm not gonna get anything to clean this up. So I didn't know what to do with common. I just, I would like, I would like, come and then just like, just like, just like spill it, spill it back into the bed. It's a water bed. It's like, dude, I can't tell you,

he said, I had a water, I remember water beds were the worst. When I were, I had a wide, a king size water bed. Oh my gosh. Which is like illegal. It's 400 pounds of water. Yeah, if that was... 800, what he was on it.

I was... No, it was Kevin, he knew it was... Yeah, I know, that's the problem. We knew it was Kevin. Shame on you, Yonis. He's gone for a second. He went the same as a king size water bed, but... Ah!

I just doubled it. I just doubled it number. I remember. I was the wait. Pocking doubled it number. I remember. I was the wait. Pocking on a water bed was impossible. It was terrible. Yeah, cause you did the rhythm.

It's like, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, and you were to hear, ow, swish, swish. Yeah, swish. Just even fill it enough, yeah. Oh, the word, you ever have it? I have one time, the power, one time the power went out

in our house overnight and like water bed It's got to be like 90 degrees otherwise you're but and it went down to like 60 and I woke up the Trambling this hype of thermo. Yeah, jizzical jizzicles on your My tummy You're not what a teenage devil water bed. That's what I'm saying. I'm not your parents fucking seven. My parents also had a water. She's got a discount. I got a water bed.

I got to tell you it was so it was fucking awesome. That thing was pretty cool though, man. Come on, you didn't like the water better. I like the water. But when I first got it, but then you didn't know. I had a young adult 20. I had a 20. Well, right? No, I had a young adult 20, we're on part 20.

What parents get their kids a fucking water? Nothing better was with a hot water bed and then the AC cranking, so it's like cold, but then you're also still, it was the great, it was the great. I remember jerking off in the water bed though. It was terrific. And I had a king size, so I'm in the middle of it. And it was literally jerking off on a raft

in the middle of the ocean. Because you literally had to, I understand the spilling. Spilling, no, they got it. Yeah, yeah. Because in a regular bed getting out of it without spilling jizz on your fucking sock, but getting out, you had to like, scooch and wave for the wave to kind of hit the side and then push you over again. It was like, I was definitely lapping you.

It was almost like a tie. Good. Uh, yeah, water beds were a fun. I mean, water beds were the shit. That was mine right there. See the one to the weight of the right, the wood. That one, I had that water bed. I had the one to the left pretty much.

It would look like that or more. Or that one, I had the wood water bed. I had the board and everything. Oh, dude, mine was wood. If you fucking banged your head on that word That's just a jacuzzi. Yeah, she's so comfortable. She's literally as sometimes Look I'm getting smarter that's a fucking pool you moron Sleep pool. It's flea in it. It's just you think listen one of my Chris angel

What am I Jesus? Water beds their Jesus? I'm gonna investigate this. Water beds. They're beds. Well, that's a bed on water. That's a bed on water, you fucking... Surrounded by a remote. Oh, God. I got the mic. I'm so sorry to all of you.

That we're even debating this. Wait a minute, I gotta investigate this. It's not a water bed. All right, I'm wrong. Listen, honey, let this one go. I can still hear you. Did I tell you I love you today? Yeah, you did.

In between Rand Paul's book passages. You slipped it in. As you said, you slipped it in. Oh! Striking in there Oh my god, and I quote you said unregulated free You know you know you're gonna be talking shit about tonight Basement apartment

Yeah, this is going too far You want me to say something I'm gonna say something. I'll call them right now! You want me to say something? I'm gonna say something. I'll call them right now. I'll have Lewis say something. I have my phone in here. I'll have Luke. Don't fucking slander my talent. Okay, the specials coming out and gas digital

in two weeks. You can't be slander. I was that you just hear fidgets, but it says you're sleeping. It's like the live seer window. You wake up in the little night dogs It's like the new warriors young is come out to play What just like flex into your wall

Doing this in the corner Poor James has no fidget No, if it just been a... Daddy! I love Dave, he's very smart and a good guy. Oh, thank you. And the walk back, you know? You're really wrickled. Wreckled the shit out of that.

We all love Dave. We wouldn't even talk about him if we didn't love Dave. Yeah. We don't like him as much as Lauren, but we like Dave. I don't think I've ever mentioned Dave until Lauren's not a date him. He was the third skank for a long time. There was Ringo. No, he wasn't even Curly.

He was shampoos. Oh boy. That's a shampoos. Nobody wants to be shampoos. Lauren's the sh- No, not. Oh, that's the mean to say like on this podcast. Could be worse. With Curly Joe.

We love so show. I used to leave this podcast in question my whole life. Yeah. Maybe. Shit me. Listen, technically Lauren that is a bed with water. Thank you. No, sleep with water. Yeah., with water, not a water bed.

A water bed, a foil to give us. That is a bed with water. That top one isn't a water bed either. No, that's a bed on water. Yeah, see how it works. Keep going, let's do more, do you want more? That is dug into the water. That is cream.

Oh my God. What? You can put the cream on top of the coffee. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Is that not cool? Am I alone here? Yeah, it's called Dave until I'm right there.

Wait, that's how it goes. But here's the thing. They'll show everything. They'll have the thing called the bag that you can put the cream in too. Ah. What? What?

Oh. You know, I passed that along for just that weird life That was good you guys skip that everybody felt that right Real bro, I'm gonna get up and leave and put a pocketbook on yeah, fuck you Bobby I'm leaving why cuz I'm gonna fucking hit you with my vagina because I'm a real ass chick now Shit no, what happened? Oh, does she have an Instagram? Oh? Why Fucking you do where you go That's not you got to learn how to play

The owner of everything is here I was gonna yeah, we're gonna while he that's cool Yeah, I want to talk to you about that too. All right. Is it nice? Yeah, beautiful. Is it nice? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great great guy beautiful room. He's a good guy, right? Sweetheart. Have you done it before? Yeah last time I went to my folks live out there. So last time I was folks live in Vegas Yeah, yeah, I'm new for folks live out there. So last time I went to my folks live in Vegas. Yeah, yeah. I lived there for 12 years, I got here. No shit. I got here from New York.

No, everybody does, but no. Where are you from? Originally born in Israel and then lived in the West Coast. What? Mochlamac. Mochlamac. Mochlamac. Don't move.

He offi. Yeah. Don't let my paterico. Who cares? Shut the fuck up. But I'm going to be a fan of you. I'm going to be a fan of you. No, I don't want to let my peterico. Who cares? Shut the fuck up. He got three words right. I know the rest of us. I don't want to let Hollywood know.

I know a few Jews. But I lived in Vegas for 12 years. And last time we went to visit my folks, I tweeted on my saying, hey, I'm like, I'm in town. If you guys want me to do a guest spot and they hit me up, they're like, come on down, do a guest spot. He was there and he asked me if I ever wanted to come back and work.

And now, is this the time you're coming back or did you get back before? No, no, this is the time I'm coming back. This is your first time working that club for a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to hear how it works out. You know, Vegas, the one thing about Vegas that always was fucked up to me

is that you had to work the whole week. Yeah. But they had like 16 shows. Yeah. And that was the way Vegas works for so long. And then they started mixing that up a little bit. And I heard that this is just a show a night. Yeah. Just one show a night, Monday to Sunday.

I think the headliner does 30 minutes tops. 30 minutes tops. Yeah. I think it's like four or five dudes on a bill. Right. And, you know, doing 20 20 25 minutes. That's great It's great. And you stay you're even staying in the MGM you stay in the big towers. Yeah, they get they get they get Which are fucking really nice beautiful would drop the kids off with my folks. Oh really we got a little vacation

Nice nice. Yeah, um Lauren You okay. Yeah, are you sure? Yeah, she's got a thick skin between No, how you okay? Yeah, are you sure? Yeah, there's a difference. She's got a thick skin between No, how you doing? Are you all right you seem a little out of it? What happened? Where what? Yeah, that's We already talked. We already dealt with that.

Depot. We did. Is that still up there? Yeah, because we started the show. I'm going to take down the other. Oh, shit. No, it pisses you off, right? Yeah.

Well, because I get your phones in all kinds of stuff. Right. Right. I agree. I agree I agree Yeah, I agree I agree All right, I told you the shows real I'm actually gonna take off to he off too. He's behind the, he's behind the Chris side. Well, I have to pee.

Oh, I got it. Uh, Lauren, take over the show. Yeah. What's the name Chris? What? Chris Hans. Oh, Chris Hans. Behind the Chris Hanson.

Curving. I love it. Yeah, they should know also the how that there's a curtain in the house. How great. Yeah, but how great is it? How great is it? He came, he went in one side and came out the other side.

And I was like, you all right? And he was like, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. I was like, why? Oh, cause of these fucking dirty dishes that somebody deceivingly left up here. Oh my God.

Woo! And you're an excellent listener. You let him get it off his chest. Well, I don't know if it's off. You received it. I received it. I don't know if I received it. I think somebody else has got to receive it.

Somebody already received it. Yeah. And it wasn't me, but I think it was received twice. I think it was you said, you, uh, feels like it might be a third time. I know. Is he coming back out now? I'm coming back out.

I always go back out. Whoo. That was hot I Should have the last load of laundry. Oh my god Wow, that was great. That was just uncomfortable. Yeah, I feel uncomfortable Yeah, if you were on that show just uncomfortable. Yeah, I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. If you were on that show, seriously, how many cookies you think you'd get down before Hanson had time to come out?

First of all, if I was there to do what those guys are doing, which is pedophilia, and they had cookies, I think the pedophilia would over... Just became your second favorite thing would be so you So you think my cookies think my one addiction would outweigh the other It depends on the cookies and I think Chris Hanson might even make a comment. He come on go wow Nobody's ever nobody's ever finished them all. I'll tell you this You can go you're free. You're free. That's all you have

Yeah, that's all you do is finish them all. Nobody ever got a chance. That was the secret Easter egg in the whole. The good news, bad news here is they never arrest anybody in the house. You have to leave the house to get arrested. Bobby will technically finish them all. Oh, he's not leaving without those gouges. When they taste them and tackle him in the front lawn,

they're all coming back up. Yeah, but he'll have a full belly. Yeah, I'll be in fucking prison tonight night like those other assholes were hungry. I just ate a whole sleeve of thinments. Let me find if the Girl Scout cookies do, which was kind of both. Both my addictions didn't want. Hang on, I'll be right up. There's a cookies I'm selling around the table.

And she told me not to touch them and I ate them. I'm a double fucking piece of shit. I think I even remember one of the guys after Chris Hansen sat down. He just kept biting on the cookies. Cause he's probably thinking, you know, I might as well have some cookies. I'm going into the slammer.

I think that was more nerves. I think if there was a dog shit, he'd start nibbling on it. I think it was more nerves. When that guy got naked though, and that one he was holding, I think he was holding like a six pack of beer like in front of, and he starts interrogating him and he's doing the whole thing and then he eventually just goes, eh, he can go ahead and put your pants back on and he's like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

But he's like, what's up? Did he ask that guy? What do you have planned here? I don't know, babysitting. What's up, buddy? I'm going to play, uh, I'm talking the mic. I'm going to play a song on Tom Papa's Radio I don't know the podcast or radio show anymore. It's I don't know I think it's both it's both. Yeah. What is it? What is it come to Papa? At every time every time Papa project is calling am I is that tonight? Are you on it? No, what am I doing tonight? I'm doing chips podcast after this. Uh oh, chipshippers, I'm chiphippers and part,

the hit, number one hit, it's a fucking hit. Have you been on it yet? No, I don't want to be on it. Why? It's like improv. It's not improv. It's not? No, you know what improv, you just fucking,

you know, you don't, you know, you just. I just imagine like those, what was the Martin Short show where he plays the character? Jiminy Glick. Yeah, it's like, you see the people Jiminy Glick. Yeah, it seems you can't do that. You can't just be interviewed. Talk to Chip Chipperson. I can do it. You should do it. You'd be great on it. I also haven't been invited. Well, I'm gonna get you an invite. Okay. The person that books it also leaves dirty glasses inside your area. also leaves dirty glasses inside your area. Oh, you got him. You got him, Bobby.

We're all safe. I can't. I can't believe. Anyways, um, so listen to me. Yeah, listen, um, my friend, I thought that was tomorrow night. Oh, no, don't tell me that. I think it's tomorrow. No, it's today.

It's today. Are you sure? I'm because I'm sure. I'm sure. All right. Okay. Because I'm doing tomorrow at the village's today. It's today. It's today. Are you sure? I'm sure. I'm sure. All right. Okay. Cause I'm doing tomorrow at the ville, the Pussycat at the Fabbal Pussycat. My show.

Yeah. Which is sold out. Is it? Yeah. It's sold out. Why'd you do it up stairs? Why'd you do in the big room? I did it in the big room last time. Sold it out. I, um, I figured I go back and forth. Cause I, I just, I like that room up there. I like working it. And I'm gonna use my a different camera and I'm gonna tape it. Did you put cameras up there yet?

No, okay. No because I heard you you told me you were yeah We're going to you told me you put and you get in the Wi-Fi up here, which is what again? It's stealth Wi-Fi. It's one gigabyte up in one gigabyte down It's Adam'sabyte up and one gigabyte down. It's Adam's. It just popped through this fucking man. So did you, it's sick. It's by far the fastest internet you can get. That's a company, no? It's a stock.

Hey, is there, if I bring like trash bags and I promise to clean up unlike other people, can I masturbate here? Like you have it already. It's literally a flat. Look at the dicks and slush head behind me. I actually just in the mail yesterday received a black light flashlight.

You did? Yeah, I can bring it here if you want. That's an episode. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. You just do it on the comics clothes. I'm an imprint of fucking Norton's balls and dick right here with a bigger dick on the other side touching each other Sorry, talking joke

Yeah, there's just to be a tranny and then I'm gonna go is that all right unless you got something else for me. I got a goal. I got nothing else for you It was good to see how was your father's day. I thought we were Thank you. I thank you very much. Congratulations. I thought we were supposed to see each other on file. And as usual when we plan something with the Kelly's, it's canceled by some lame unbelievable excuse. Wow. How the fuck are you?

Now I know I got invited 13 minutes before the barbecue. Oh, it's a pattern. I don't. I don't. Oh, it is a pattern. No, no, no, I like no, I don't. I don't. I don't. No, no, no, no, I like no, I don't. There is a difference. Oh, yeah, Janice. Why didn't he won't say, yeah, no, no, it was in Fight Paul Versey. I give. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I'll see you tomorrow at the the baby's bristles. Okay, Robert, why didn't you come to the brist? Oh, I had a movie

shoot. Oh, I can't help that. It's like a movie shoot. No, no, no, no, as you don't you come to the brisk? Oh, I had a movie shoot. Oh, I can't help that They just make a movie shoot. No Good night as you don't know about the baby's breath. You don't know about you don't know about you have no idea You know idea about what about movies? I'll put me down Listen to me now with all due're an idiot. Let me explain to you. I'm gonna tell you. I show business works. Correct. Correct. I'm gonna tell you this.

You get your call time the night before, sometimes at 12 o'clock, they changed my call time today. It was supposed to be night. One day, I was supposed to be there at 11 a.m. They told me no coming to five. Because they, whatever they filmed that day or how father they got back or how much ground they made up, depends on what you'll call time is.

That's why I didn't make that thing. Father's Day, I'll be honest with you. I did not know. As opposed to the previous one. I was honest with you on that too. So you don't answer the redone. Absolutely. Because I was dying to go, let me tell you something.

I love Jewish events. I really do. The food is so fucking amazing. And no, no, the food was really good. Oh God. I remember the first press we went to for Manny. He invited. He invited all goyum. We all showed up calling me, And he had, I'm talking a spread of bagels and locks. It was so good, we ate it all. We, me, it's called, it's called Zafati too, and Norton was a fatso too at the time. We ate it all before the bris. And I guess you're supposed to wait. So, Moti's doing the bris and Moti's bullshit.

And he's, you know, Vom Belam, Kaya, Kaya, Kaya, Kaya, Kaya, I'm doing that. And the goyem ate all the locks and bagels. And we were, I literally had a bagel in my mouth. Of course. I looked at Kaya, who had one till he goes, we not to see these.

Because everybody else was around the kid getting his peepee cut. I really wanted to go to that. That was that first brisk. We invited all the comedian, the whole comedy family. But this one we thought we would just invite our most intimate friends. We didn't invite any.

So really the only comedian invited was Robert. I was very, but I swear to God, ask the fucking rude. I loved all, and there's another one because Dawn said she would come, and then she wasn't available to come. Wow. I don't know, listen, I don't know about that bitch. I don't know what that fucking line That fucking line second shit was going.

You know, we're not talking. So listen, I don't need to. I can't listen. So, but the father's day, I didn't know we were supposed to come over on father's day. I didn't even know we were supposed to come over on father's day. I didn't know either. You son of a bitch. I didn't.

No, I heard that I heard that day that we were supposed to do something with you. I would have loved, because I love going over you house. First of all, I love it because my kid plays with his kids, okay, and they get along now. They're all on a great stage. But he's also got a million toys everywhere,

and it's, they're kind of sectioned in goods that's like play areas. You know what I mean? And he's got this fucking sick heated built in pool. Who likes? I mean, the other day I ran home from set and went right to your house, jumped right in and they left us, they went to the movies and they were like, I'd just stay here.

Locked the, I fucking love going to your house. I love it. Plus I like hanging out with him, we get to talk. I don't have friends up there, we get to do man talk for a minute. But I don't know who's, you smoke cigar? No. Once in a while, he will. He'll speak. It get to do man talk for a minute. But I don't know who's first. You smoke cigar?

Once in a while, he will. He'll speak. It's embarrassing to see me smoke a cigar. It's like a pedophile blowing a kid for the first time. Just like this. Mm. Ah. Ah.

That was a good description. Listen. If you've ever seen that, like I had no good. A lot of pedophilia on this app. I know. Pedophilia app. There you go. I don't understand how men smoke cigars.

Like my eyes start watering, my mouth tastes bad. It's like, I can't believe these people do this for pleasure. I can't do it. He said the same thing about other things. Listen. But he gets it. But I do it because my friend Robert, you know, wants me to do it. So it's my new friend.

He bends you in. I'm the friend. That's out of friend. I'm an inch. Listen, I've been for him too. Yeah. Yeah, I do anything for you. Anything.

Okay. What do you need? Well, I didn't, I wasn't invited. I wasn't invited. No, he may be right about that. I was not invited for Father's Day. Let me tell you, one thing you don't do on Father's Day is invite yourself over some of the man's house because his day, my day was hanging out with the family.

We were talking about this known. Father's Day is not Father's Day. Mother's Day is Mother's Day. She gets to be alone, you take the kids out, she does her own thing, goes to a spa, has breakfast and bed. Father's Day is family day. That's the day you get shit on Father's Day. I

gotta get a kiss. I gotta what? I didn't get I didn't get a kiss. I got fucking scramble eggs with ham because she doesn't make a fucking omelette. She said cheese before. Cheese too. There was cheese in him. I forgot about the ham. I'm just have lean. Why you gotta thank you. And I got a card. It's a show here. I got a card. I got one card. I got a card. You got a card. I got actually my kids made got one card. I got a card. I got a card. I got, actually, my kids made me great cards. Name me cry. My kid gave me a great card too.

I have it, my shed that I built. That's what you need a shed. That's sweet. That's sweet, no guys. Yeah, yeah, my wife did nothing to me. Yeah, but it's like my wife, I mean, it's just, it's not like you think that you would get the day to yourself or you'd get to go and do like me and you would get to hang out on Sunday. Go to get a stick.

Massage. Something. Go. Right. Do something together, but we're not. It's really you get to spend time with your family, right? All day long. And the end of the day, I was exhausted.

I'll be honest. But hey, you're a father. Yeah, no, it's the same exact, it's like Mother's Day is like, you get to clock out from being a mom today. And Father's Day is like, let's see you be a dad all day today. And it's like, that's what I do every fucking day. Yeah.

Yeah. And I got two cards from my kids. And it was very sweet. Yeah, I mean, I love them. They're great. But maybe have a little gift. Maybe have something. Maybe a present from the wife with used via your money

So it's from you right eventually I'll buy myself something But that's a thing you know what my wife said two a week ago I bought myself something on the on Amazon she goes happy father's day. Yeah, I go no no no no no no no Oh, yeah happy fucking me day. I just bought that I didn't what the fuck is that? I came on the night with flowers out of the blue Huh we guilty about something My daughter on father she's can we go see your father's grave? She's where's your father buried that's what Max said to me too and and I said well He's actually buried right across your four-old house

So can we go visit him? I said yeah, she goes can we look inside and see him? I'm like no you can't do that is underground. She. So, can we go visit him? I say, yeah, she goes, can we look inside and see him? I'm like, no, you can't do that. He's underground. She goes, well, can we dig it up? And I'm like, well, he's five. I say, yeah, we could, we can't not allow to dig it up. But even if we did, when a body's underground for a long time, the flesh goes away and it becomes just a skeleton. She goes, well, how do you know that? I say, well, I know because science, science a skeleton. She goes, well, how do you know that? I said, well, I know because science knows this. She goes, well, but how do they know it's true? I said, well, I'm sure of this. And she said, I thought they used to say

Pluto was a planet. Wow, she's right. Wow, that's smart. She wants evidence. She wants to see the body. Habiest Corpus. I want to see it. Bring me the body.

You're actually not. I was so proud of her. You're from now. I was so proud of her. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now.

You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. You're from now. I was at Tom's house.

Yeah. Bullshit. You're at Tom's house. When I was two years older, whatever. That's smart, right? That's very smart. That's a Pluto. Yeah, I thought you read Tom's house when I was two years older whatever That's smart right that's very that's for Pluto. Yeah, I gotta go. All right have fun. Thank you Thank you, give it up now grads again, buddy Yeah, I'm doing our chips podcast that I'll be over there unless they got a reshoot And he won't be there we Yeah, well first of all That really did happen. I would never blow. I really was looking't be there. We, um, yeah, well, first of all, that really did happen.

I would never blow. I really was looking forward to going to his press. I do love Jewish events. I went to my first, uh, I went to Jim Sherpaco's boys, uh, um, bar mitzvah, bar mitzvah. I went to my first bar mitzvah. You love Jewish events so much. You can't remember what they're called. Well, I just, I blanked my brains going it's a you love Jewish friends so much you can't remember what they're called Well, I just I blanked my brains going. I'm getting old. They bring up to light a candle Nah, he see threat. I don't I would have got nervous. Yeah, but no, he didn't thank God But it was a really really cool bomb it's for two. I got the kid. I Had a custom made date star David Fidget spinner

It's fucking insane. This guy didn't rip it off from you on the way there. Wow. Hey. It's all right. You were fucking killing it for a fucking hour. Even the car runs out of gas at some point. Get off your phone, Stemake.

What are you fucking 19? Get off your phone. You know what? You're the worst. I thought I could sneak it in. How? I'm looking at you I'm more on now. I look at you fucking where you dumb thumb going. Is that what you want me front? I want you to watch yeah because you can't fucking stay off your phone you fucking night in your old girl

You're like a hot chick drunk in the front row at a fucking improv True, please call them hot Take that How's that huh? You fucking high hat from the owner. Yeah, okay High hat from the owner. No, no, okay. No, I know. Yeah, no, you don't get to fucking was that you that put them back there? Yeah Yeah, she fucking was storing glasses like we were in a shitty apartment in the East Village He looked out for you. Oh, you. I did.

Yeah, you didn't throw under the bus. Yeah, he knows. You know, he fucking they found him before me. I got the, I got the call. Oh, I, hey, I got a fucking. A good leader takes the hit. Oh man, like LeBron. Captain goes down with the shit.

Yeah, no, not a fucking good leader. Fucking teaches the other person how to be a leader and take the hit and fucking own your shit. And then don't let do it again. Good leader watches the other person eat to be a leader and take the hit and fucking own your shit. And then don't let do it again. Good leader. Good leader watches the other person eat a shit sandwich. I thought a good leader does. So that it says boy that was awkward. Yeah. Nice shit. So here's the thing though. I thought it I stopped it at a I stopped it at a certain point. Like there was going up a ladder and I stopped it at this point of the ladder before got here and here and then here there's three other heirs I stopped it but someone

said fuck that and it fucking went to here I've seen no him in action I've seen him on that next wrong of a ladder not the following two just that next one and it is not pretty yeah that was he was pretty pissed off but there you go. It was it was great segue. It does I love a real the shows real dude. Yeah, we're real You know what? Dude, where the realest podcast in the world? Those are the ones fucking just push stuff behind curtains like glasses from other shows This fucking show look how fucking sad she is.

She's oblivious, she's in love right now. I know, she's thinking about fucking Sunday, Legion to Skicks. All right, listen, we're gonna wrap this up. Great show, unbelievable fun time. I mean, I love when all you guys are on, thanks for coming on. Thanks for coming on. What do you got my friend? Oh, real quick. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck was it? If you want to be a member on the show, I'll come in and visit the show. If you're a

comic and we haven't had you on and you want to come on, you know, we think we should know about you too. Email Lauren at YKWD producer at ryakess.com. If you are a comic and you want to come on, you can always message me on my Facebook at Lauren Gubera. And if you want to become a premium member, all you have to do is download the Robert Kelly's You Know A Dude app. And it's only $199 a month. Yes.

And you get the first 10 episodes for free. Always. And we put stuff Colin Quinn is going up tonight my one-on-one with Colin Quinn for premium members only it will be up late tonight It'll be up tomorrow. It's gonna be up for premium members only last week I put Nick the Apollo up we put the podcast at Irish affair in Denmark I'm gonna have a bunch of stuff going up there from just for laughs festival and we're gonna be Look, so I really appreciate all you premium members who joined. We'll try I love the Bobby. I have you did

Yeah, of course, buddy. Yeah, I mean that's fucking great. Thanks man. By the way the creeps with kids. That's up there now Yeah phenomenal great phenomenal Kierzen's just a beast. Oh, I love it. I love it So we got a bunch of stuff a bunch of videos up there creeps with kids live is up there. It's it's No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, always be free, at least the latest episode will be free, but we need your support as fans. We're coming up with another way to go for you fans to help us keep doing this and keep doing it at a higher level. We took this from my house to here and it's through you fans and we need that support. So I want to thank all you fans that have donated to pay

pal over the years and now to the premium member and to the new ventures that we're going to mean. Adam are going to be talking and we're mean. Cerebral Colour Talk. We're talking about a way that we can have fans really get this podcast to where we can be because you know Lauren and other than leaving dishes and shit like that, she really works hard and Adam works hard and I work hard to we all try to make the show the best So thank you so much, and let's with all that fucking shit that you probably fast forwarded over because you're a Tawatt. Oh, you're itchy feels better. Good off you phone you fucking cocks up get my plugs up. Oh, sorry. Go ahead

See that was good I was doing yeah, yeah, you weren't learning to do what were you doing? I was getting my plugs right now What were you doing really responded to attacks? You are a fucking vagina really I could have lied. He was honest Bobby. I was honest The cops if you robbed the bank absolutely You're an artist. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There's a next album. There scouting it out for the Williamsburg Brooklyn for the next two weeks. I'm working at the black box. Saturday. No shows on Saturday. Walk.

Don't drive. We have 17 shows on Sunday. Bring your own candle. Show us my candle. Saturday, I've been Orlando at sackcomedylab. sackcomedylab.com. What are these places? What is this box in a lab?

What is this? Don't worry about it, Bob. No, I won't. I don't want to know. What is this box in a lab? What is this? Don't worry about it, Bob. No, I Want to know what is this? This sounds fucking interesting a bot. It's a venue you bookshows out when you don't have an agent You gotta get up to work buddy. Yeah, I think that's great. No, it's a great because you're relying on your fans and yourself Yeah, and you get to make the money. Yeah, no, they're they're too awesome Trying to fucking promote it. I appreciate it. I'm fucking it You saw you st. Tucker everybody so sensitive around here. I know look at what you started now everybody's defensive You did it. Yeah, she can't even think cuz you know

You did it, y'all this I'm saying this from her vagina. You didn't You did it. I could still hear you. You're like Trump. And then first week of July, I'm in Vegas, Brad Garrett's comedy club. I wanna hear about that place. Yeah, yeah. I'll come back with details for you.

Who else is on the show with you there? You know what? I don't know. And then in August, I'm doing a festival event Hoover called the Cannifest. It's a cannabis festival where I'm not performing. I'm just meeting greet and people come and get high with me Out in that case for that you'd be surprised

There to yeah, all right cool that fly out in two seconds. Let's go. Let's go. Let's do it. I'll go with you All right, I'll do a meet in Greek. They'll be like who you? I love you buddy, and thank you for having me as always got it Me and great guys really awesome. What do you got please? I? San Francisco Go to my website. Yeah, it's peps. Wow You had fucking 18 minutes you went on your phone to return a fucking text to a fucking bimbo But you couldn't go on the phone to get your shit. It was, um, oh, it was important. What?

What was it? He doesn't want to say it was my girlfriend. What she said, what are we having for dinner tonight? No, she said, who's that bitch on Bobby's cock guy, who just called me a bitch. Right. So I love to see a cat fight. She says she's coming here now and she wants to fight. I would love to see.

Yeah. to see a cat she says she's coming here now and she wants to I would love to see the rage would come out of this little fucking kitten oh I know I have to settle for less Dave doesn't have a car DC in July Arlington Drive House yeah go to my website follow me on Twitter yana's perhaps okay great what do you get great I'll also be at Skankfest on Sunday. Awesome. 30 in the afternoon.

You're on after us. Yeah. Oh great. But I'll be there. Yeah. Also, you can go to my website, MikeFenicomedy.com or at I am MikeFenic on Twitter, Instagram, all that stuff. I'll be July 7th.

I'll be at Wisecrackers and Mohican Sun. That's a good time. I guess no response. What is it? Okay. That's going that's a good time. Guess no response. Why does it? Okay, that's going to be a good song. Stop, stop. Mohican son in the Polk news.

Oh, there's a Mohican son in the Polk. Apparently it's fucking gorgeous. Okay, cool. The room. But regardless, run a show on the offensive at New York comedy club. Would love to have Bobby Kelly do it sometime. It best you once off Aaron once on air. So I heard it's the thought that counts.

So I heard it. Where is it? New York comedy club. I would do it. I just worked there. I did a Chris Scopo show. Yeah, I heard it was a great show. Right.

He's doing Scopo show then. He's got to do your show. Yeah, you know, you think. But then also please check out my podcast. I wish goodbye podcast. My Canon and I. Knight, a fun time. Shuley's on one of the episodes, was really fun. Well, my Canon was just on a couple weeks ago.

He's a great guy. Great guy. Great guy. So good. Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of good people on the show. These are good guys. I really do. You're like a Lord Michaels, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, except without the money or the success of the respect. Foxhuck is talking to his girl. You're looking down at your phone. He's the only I got the week the other one Produced a coming to fuck off Fucking storing glasses like a chip I think her and David living up here practicing for your bartending license I call him he fucking calls me three days later. Yeah, what did you want? What? The fuck is so you texted me 911? What's up? So good for you for your

success and your podcast. What do you got there? Adam. You found me Twitter at Rec Room Audio. Awesome. Rec Room NY dot com. Oh, and you listen to my podcast funny for fighter with Justin Silver and Tracy Funny for five isn't that his dog show? Yeah, it's a day we talk about dogs. That's great. Yeah, I will not that much. Yeah, not to make a podcast Look the fast Barry catch and say where did they go in five years? You know, it's funny. You knew about it. You forgot about it. You made fun of me already about that. Yeah.

It's ridiculous that you do a show about dogs. You two smoke, you two hottest comics in New York, and you two fucking queens are going, I love shit to fuck off. Just do a show about pussy. Thanks for having us. You're the hottest, the two hottest comics in New York. I am not that good looking.

You've been bigging me up. Well, here's a deal. I, you're right. Yeah. I look if I said that to Justin, he would have been like, you're right. You're like, hey, thanks. I'm almost good looking. All right, stop with the podcast about dogs.

Would you? I mean, it's ridiculous. It's a dead end fucking. Guys, we're doing a lot podcast about schnauzers. Did you get, trying to get my show back on CBS, man? I think you can help me. I'll be me and you. You'll be my assistant.

See, Lauren, I got to take it too. You know? That's what happens. What's up? Lauren, what do you got besides a fucking libertarian boyfriend? Just outlawing Kubara and your dates are June 23rd. You're going to be at the by him theater. That's just weak.

If you listen in live, that was this week. If you're not, then it's not. Yeah. And then you're going to Montreal on July. The lineup for just the last nasty show this year is this is the lineup. And I don't even know how they're gonna do I mean, it's okay Irish affairs hosting God free

Yamannika Big J myself Jimmy car They just I don't even understand it. It's not in shows, right? I don't get it. Wow. I don't know who's going where I mean first I mean I hope Carpenter goes last uh at least I go before him um that would be great I mean the show is fucking nuts goffries I'm murderer you know I'm a league is a fucking assassin yeah but dude I've I've been downstairs I watch I watch rock Romano car all three of them go up, destroy, and you had to close out the show and you fucking annihilate.

You're a killer. You are. You are. You're killing the kill. See, that's a good thing about this bucket. People, we, we, we tear each other down, but we build it right back up. Oh, wow. Should we place Sarah McLaughlin for that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it.

I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it.

I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it.

I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record it. I'm gonna record folks. And then I'm going to New Hampshire in August. But go to Robert Kaye Live.com for all my website, all my dates. And make sure you go. If you go and come up to me, it's to how you listen to me on the podcast. Support all these people on the show. Go to their shows. When you see them support them live, it most time is at 25 bucks and a couple drinks. You're going to do that at a bar anyways, but go see these guys. I have only funny people on the show. I really, I don't have unfunny people on the show. Really do.

Sometimes I have- Not for two episodes anyway. Sometimes. You're not doing a row. If I do, no. Please support these guys. You guys are the best fans of the world. You know what, dude?

Thanks for listening. these guys you guys are the best fans of the world you know what dude thanks you listen con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.