Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jamie Kilstein, Rich Vos | #1 Pod in Westchester

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

We have Rich Vos and Jamie Kilstein to talk about his new album 25 Percent Capacity, doing things in the name of funny, New Episodes arrive every Sunday night, and look a Santa that tries to ruin the holiday with wokeness! For advertising opportunities email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? Si no, ¿por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid la Dición Especial de Madrid nos lia. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. ¿Sueñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de post-grato en el extranjero, de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitad tu beca en fundación lacaisa.org. Esto es la cámara que ha estado esperando.

¡¿Qué es eso? ¡¿Qué es eso? ¡¿Qué es eso? Comedian Robert Kelly, será performado en la vida, en el frente de la audiencia y la extremación en la vida de tu vida. ¡Ya es todo el mundo! Porque tu eres el hígrafo. an audience and streaming it right to your living room. You're all the shit, cause you're... cause you're a hair is feathered. January 30th, 2021.

Robert Kelly from Comedy Central, Netflix and HBO will be doing his hilarious crude but full-nurble stand-up live from the Wall Street theater and streaming it around the world, right to you. Robert Kelly live streamed pay-per-view from the Wall Street Theatre, January 30th, 2021. Go online, Partickets! Fucking yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show.

YKW, we're here with you. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW did back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules.

Stop up, you're ruining this. We're the more bad of a man. I'm sorry. It's comedy podcast. crazy and there's no rules. I'll help you on winning this. First of all, I'm gonna have a first-sorry It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original. You know what, dude? what's up everybody? Welcome back to the Know What Dude podcast. I'm the fucking dude. We got Gabby, we're here in Villain. Hello. Of course, we got mush in the background. We can't show his face because he's Mandalorian. That's the way. And we've got great guests today.

Gabby, we're going to do some beautiful guests. We have Rich Voss and Jamie Kielstein. Okay, first, okay, a couple things real quick. One, one, one, you know, put me before Jamie. I said you first. No, I'm second. I'm the headliner. Two.

Bobby said in his intro, he gave me a lecture before this podcast about saying you can't say you're a great guest. And in his intro, he said, is there any better podcast? That's the exact same thing. You said I'm being a fucking ironic and sarcastic and funny. You're being serious. I do not have a list of grievances and funny, you're being serious. I do not have a list of grievances, and I'm happy to be here.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Who's on your cup? Who's got a picture up? It's a little dog. It's a little fucking dog. Don't get more confused, you're a cup like you're fucking,

I feel like we're competitive with that. You have a there. I don't have anything on my cup. It's a very manly plain cup Who mine? Yes, yeah, I think it's probably a dollar store cup Are we are we are this is to see what you do you come in hot? I'm not now. I'm not hot now. You got Jamie's on his fucking toes Gabby staring off into the like what's gonna happen with these men today? What kind of balls? I don't know, I was trying to get somewhere, but I failed halfway through men.

And that's your Christmas list. I was also, I was on my toes before I messaged Gabby, I go, hey, who's gonna be on the show? Is it gonna be just like me and me and Bobby, you're gonna talk about about personal stuff or is it gonna be a show where everyone's calling me gay and she was like oh boss is on the show You will be being called gay. Oh, no, why are you not gay? Didn't I say Gabby? How can I like Jamie that I think he's a good guy Did say that you you've always both you guys have always been incredibly nice to me. I wish I could hang up right now. Me too. No, I, you know, he's, as a comic, you vote. You know, I respect this kind of people that really go out of the way to try to get better

and get on stage and do it. You know, and you should go to the open mics and get on wherever you could, you know, and just no easy rootiness, and you knew that from the beginning, and you still know, and now I would imagine. But, you know, and that's what I, you know, Bob, you just promised you we spent like that, you see that have, you know,

that hustle and try to get ahead. Does that make sense? Yeah. No, yeah, I agree with you 100%. I agree with somebody. I like somebody who was something and then it all fell apart and then they rebuilt stuff from the ground up and fucking kick ass and don't give up. And I think Jamie's one of those guys who Who did that, you know what I mean much like getting sober He Kind of got sober in his fucking this whole thing we're doing so that's why I kind of respect Jamie Oh, and he's always been a sweet guy's been a nice guy

You know people I hate that guy hate her fucker And I'm like well, they've never done nothing to me. So I can't really, you know, the only thing that they've done to me has been sweet and nice. So not anybody, not anybody that said that about you. No, but I mean, probably, but like that's also the thing. I'm not going to look at the comments at all. But that's also the thing about getting sober, right? Where you can, you can be fucking bitter and you can spend your time being like, fuck that guy.

I didn't get ahead because that guy got on this show or because like this girl fucking did this or whatever or you could just accept hey shit happened and I'm going to keep going and trying to be better or else you're just fucked. I mean there's only one comment from Ultimate Reject that I will look at about Vos I think we should look at that one because Because some comics do help, right, Mosh? Some comics do help. The comments sometimes will. First of all, Vos put out a couple pounds,

she can't even see my body. So, yes, I am a muscle. I'm putting out a couple pounds of muscle. That's what I am. I see the Jesus Christ. It's still not in John. What's that? It's still holy out of shot. I'm just, gosh, I'm just kidding. Oh god. What are you doing? You make a muscle like Max does. Just, no, I make it show. I don't know. I'll stick south as much as you can.

Well, we opened the human Sam together. The show ended with you taking your shirt off. And this is beginning with you flexing. Yes. They made you take your shirt off. And that one we went off camera, we all blew each other. That was the best part. All right, let's start off again. How's everybody doing?

Voss, I'll go with you first, out of respect. Well, do you want me to go second? Because you're a headliner? It doesn't matter. We're all here just to have a good time and try to do a good podcast. All right, that sounds good to me. So no more first or second, no more headliners or anything,

right? That's just ego. And when you ego is easing God out and God is back. Well, you just yelled at me 10 minutes ago, not even three minutes ago. This is great. Excuse me, the men are talking. Well, you just yelled at me 10 minutes ago, not even three minutes ago. Excuse me, the men are talking. Yeah, this goes for men, not women. I didn't yell it. Are you going to you, Gabby? All I did was say, you know, when you kept texting me to for peach, like, leave me alone. That's all.. Oh yeah, every time I text boss, he says, leave me alone.

Gabby, Gabby is a professional victim. What the fuck? Oh, if you say anything, they don't understand what getting beat up is or yelled at, or we got hit and beat and somebody's, we said something wrong, we get punched in the face. Her generation, if you say, leave me alone, you're yelling at me.

It's a different, you know what I mean? So you're getting yelled at and her getting yelled at are two different things, yeah? I'm just trying to explain, yeah, we don't take offense. Well, you know what I'm saying? Anything. Your generation of comics have had a tweeze, your two things.

Oh, sorry. I got to go somewhere. Well, your generation of Oh, sorry. I just had to go somewhere else. Well, you're in generation of comics. Yes. You get acclimated by the internet and by Twitter and Instagram. You know, my generation got acclimated by other comics. Yeah. I got acclimated by Red Skeleton.

Yeah. Yeah, guys like that. Yeah, I even remember like my generation got it easy where in my generation if someone was stealing jokes, we didn't want to, you know, make a fuss about it because his agent might be looking at me or this guy liked him for Montreal or whatever. And then you read the stories about like caniston and Hicks were like some motherfucker fucker was stealing jokes and they were just be like a posse in Houston and they were just marched down to the clubs and essentially like old western drive him out of town. Yeah, well, I mean look what happened to Rogan when he came after Carlos Garcia. He got kicked out of his home club and he is agent fucking douche them. I mean, that's that's pretty fucking happy. And most people of well, that's frightening to most people though. I mean, there's not too many people that could come back from getting booted out of a club and losing your agent

and, you know, and, you know, most people, I mean, most comics are petrified about making it and don't understand that you're gonna lose your age in any ways. You guys care as much now that they're since podcasting is kind of like the big thing. Do you guys care as much about agents and reps and meetings and stuff like that or has a given you sort of this confidence to only do the shit you want to do now? One thing I can't care about something I really never had. And also too, I mean, success. The difference I've had, great success.

What do you, can you, me look what podcast I'm doing? This goes right on the resume. The thing is, I'm lucky. I live with a very talented comic. I'm married to who's basically a writer, director, showrunner. So if I'm not doing something on my own, we might be doing something together or she might be doing. She's sold a TV show. But what does it have to do with what he's doing? You're just trying to give fucking Bonnie's credits. You give Bonnie credits. Her credits fucking five times a day.

I'm gonna hear how good Bonnie's doing every fucking time I talk to you. Can we have one conversation where I listen, I am not saying that I love Bonnie. I think she's got all that, but every fucking time we gotta hear how great Bonnie is. All right, my wife's in that statistic. I don't have your out. Okay.

Hand him over to him. What was that? What was that? I was stopped. You took, he asked a simple question. I know. And I was saying we went into how all the fucking Bonnie's credits can I was fucking over it? I was going to answer his question. Can you answer it with your credit? Yes. Yes, it was going to go back. It's in full circle. Well, don't bring up somebody else. She's part of the circle. OK, listen, OK, OK, without fun, without fun.

OK, so no, I really don't. Yes, I haven't managed for certain things. But mostly everything that I get I get on my own because either a friend helped me with it or I created it myself or you know I'm not going on what you know when I did when I did a King of San Island I had a partner it's because Pete wanted me not because not because I Didn't have one because he didn't want me to Go the other way if you were married to Bonnie Pete would have wanted you

Yeah, yeah, right, so you know nowadays you're right. It doesn't matter as much Especially with this virus. Can I say something? I think you're wrong. I think with certain comedians like myself, like you, the certain comedians that have to kind of do it, do your thing, and you have to whatever whatever I got is from friends, whatever I always help friends or younger comics when I can like like because that's what the way I get things I don't really industry has never come knocking on my door, but I do believe the industry, whatever that is, does like certain comedians.

Yeah. So they really fucking cater to them. Yeah. But I think that's why too a lot of the younger generations are so careful online because the idea of burning bridges or this guy gets mad and tells his agent not to Put him out for this. I mean shit even the year the year that I was doing okay and getting things and had some heat Even my meetings that I would go to were guys who were like, hey, we love what you do It's like edgy and shit like that and then then they would be like, can you not do that?

And then they try to kind of turn you into one of their clients. And we're not, we're not industry, we've said and done stuff in the name of funny to eliminate, eliminate a lot of, a lot of potential. The things that you're afraid of are I believe are absolutely valid. People will say no, it's not true. I think it's valid that you'll be part of something or say something in the name of funny, whether it be on a radio show or a TV show or a podcast that people you know, you'll you'll be surprised who hears that shit. And when

your name comes up, it's like, yeah, nah, right. Yeah, we're good. Yeah, but also too, whatever that thing also can work in your favor. Well, years ago, they came to see me, this girl came to see me to do, they were going to use, they were using comics on Rosio Donald. Can I just say something? What? If you're talking about like situations where the industry came and saw you, you don't have to say years ago, we get it. Okay. See, here's the thing. You can try to tear someone down to build yourself up, but I don't have to do that because I'm secure where I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was unnecessary. You're right.

Vos, I apologize. I love Vos going from me into like, Alana, unquote, is like my favorite type of Vos. Listen, the many levels of Vos that you'll get in Vos. It's like having appetizers, dinner, and dessert. Yeah. I'm just a little bit more flexing to keep your side of the street clean and like, of

course, Broadway brings it back to food anyhow. It's like having a meat loaf and then a milkshake. Jesus. He looks great though. Shut the fuck up. I get it. So, here's, look, it doesn't matter. I did a line that was so offensive. And the screw that came to see me for Rosie goes, oh, that line was so funny. Now, because she was a comic, but she was also booking the show at the time. Most people would have saw that line, heard that line and said, we'll never use him. Right. So it depends who's looking and who's not. Look, when we did the HBO thing, HBO Max for Colin, we did it because Colin wanted

us. Yeah. HBO Max was not knocking down our door. Oh, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. Not saying no, no, no, no, no, not saying they won't for something else in the future because we proved ourselves one more time. Yeah. You know, you know, it's just a matter of time.

But they probably won't listen. Can I say something to? They probably won't in the future too. I think that they love a certain type of thing. And when even if we come in on the cloud of somebody else, we, unless it's a massive hit, right? We're still that person. They're still gonna go with that one,

this one, and that one. And look, it is what it is. You just, we just have to rely on some people can go and become favorites of the industry or whatever that is. And some people have to do it our way, which is just two different ways. And I don't think one's better than the other. But there's also something about doing it this way where it forces you just to be fucking undeniable. And, you know, like Shane Gillis said that. He's like, just be so fucking funny.

Just be undeniable. And you look like that. That's your ex-shane. Don't have a quote. Do listen, I love Shane. If you have a quote, Shane Gillis, like he's a profit and comedy, fucking four years in the business,

said, no, no, I think he won, and then got fucking publicity. Listen, we've been doing fucking, I had a fucking massage pot of joke, and fucking, fucking 10 years ago. I still got one now. Wong wong wong. All right, so fucking no, I mean, I'm one who couldn't have been completely disappeared from the industry. And like now is doing really well just because he,

well, change doing well because he would look, he coming up and got some pop off of that but industry Love I mean look at Shane has I don't know this to something about Shane, you know what I mean when you meet him Yeah, I met him the first time I fucking want to smash him with a shovel, but I liked him There's something about shame. I really like Shane. He has that thing I was and you kept interrupting me. So I did for a second. I thought you were going to head phones.

If you had headphones, I'll just say that. I'm just saying, Billy Burr has said that before too, yeah. Come undeniable. And I would use him in your next, when you give that example, use that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that. No, no, because also Shane was,

had famous people in the business and his family, Dobie Gillis was really big back in the day, so that helped Shane out. No one gets that reference. No one gets that reference. Only the oldest people on the plan. But you know, it's great shepherd in the room. Listen. Exactly. Um, I, I, I just, I like shame. I think that I think you were saying that was right is that the way, like I don't have

a manager or an agent right now, but I do love my, my, oh my god. Holy shit. Wow. The many love the stubby gillis. That looks like a young you. Um, I love my, I've had a, the same personal appearance agent since the second I moved to New York. Yeah. For over 20-something years. And I love being with him.

And I've had so many people try to get me to dump him, but I always sit there going, well, maybe he's not the best, you know, for you, but he's always made me money. He's always got me gigs. He's always looked out for me. So why would I fuck that up? Dude, this is a reference. Yeah, and this is why I asked you is because I have a music manager now.

And he is doing more work than any comedy manager I've ever had. And he's not connected and I had to tell him what fucking Montreal was. And, you know, stuff like that. But he loves me and he works. And I stated his home. And like, I've never had that before, but my agents, as much as we talk about, you know,

look how big you can be with podcasts on your own and you make your own audience, they're still this fucking Stockholm syndrome part of me that, you know, I have agents who are like one of the bigger ones who have not called me back all of quarantine and I don't want to fire them and I made this album. They don't even know if I can make this album. My ex-manager, Brandstein, was the one who fucking

got me this album, and I don't want to take my agents off the fucking website because I'm still like, oh, doesn't that validate me? So as much shit as I talk about, you know, you can make your own thing and make your own community, there's still this fucking part of me that wants that like validation and I want the the CAAA PA whatever on my website and I just and hearing you guys talk about

not really having it or having a guy you had since you first moved to New York is fucking refreshing whereas because that's what I want. You know what? After him and I really should get a website. Yeah, there is no, but it's true. It's, I think you're really having that, uh, that gersh or that William Morris or CAA, it does, it does do something. It does, you know what I mean?

But, but if you're not doing anything and then you suddenly make money and then you have to give them a cut, it really is a fuck. You know what I mean, but if you're not doing anything and then you suddenly make money and then you have to give them a cut, it really is a fuck you know what you're saying, you're saying that personal appearance, the whole club scene, well that's done now anyhow, so it doesn't matter. But when it's back or when it was, it's all about numbers. Yeah, you know, it's back or when it was, it's all about numbers. You know, yes, Matt or an agent can get you, you know, even if your numbers aren't high, say, hey, look, take him. If you want him take, I'm not using any of us, but if you want him take him, if you want her take him, you know, they can take you. You're actually using me because that's my, that's my, no, no, I'm not using

I can take you to you using me because that's my that's my no, I'm not using literally I'm in that I'm I'm in a hammer her you're the her no, no, no, thank you, Bob you you do numbers and you kill on stage I do numbers, but I don't do listen man, I don't do numbers all the time I'm gonna I'll admit that I wish that the someplace I do great. Yeah. I mean, I was finally at a point last year before the shit hit where our tour was selling great. We were using each other to build each other up individually so that our solo dates were actually working.

But there's a lot that goes into that shit too. I learned that there's certain lot that goes into that shit too. I learned that there's certain months that you'll sell better than you will in other months. Like the summer, August, I don't work. I used to work in August. I would work my favorite clubs, and then I wouldn't sell as well as I did last time, and then my money would go down, and then once your money went down, they got you. And then I was like, I am not working any club that I love during shit months. I'm only working my clubs from September to March or April. And I'm not working holiday. I'm making sure I look at the weekends. And you know, because so many times I would work these clubs and I would kill it. And then I'd come back in a shit month,

like August, the last week in August, and nobody would come. And now I feel like shit. Yeah. And now they can bring everything down, not to mention clubs, but there was some clubs I was making, you know, a thousand dollars. And then they would bring me back at a shit weekend

and I Sal shitty and Then the next time they got to pay me way less and they bring me in a shit weekend again And I wasn't looking at the weeks that was coming in I was just I thought I could just go in and Sell fucking awesome like I was shapel, you know what I mean? That's I remember she ain't go with me. It's all about picking the weekend Well, that's how the improv's pretty much we did say that by the way. The improvs are funny, but it's weed in me out because I was doing great numbers, you know, at a point, then they go, well let's put them here, you know, and the numbers go

down and they or whatever. And then they would put me, you know, fucking Halloween weekend or shit, you know, or whatever. And then the numbers were fucking brutal and they go He's not doing numbers. Yeah, it depends, you know if you put in you know a major act during the bad weekends They're gonna do fucking numbers So whatever it's listen, it doesn't fucking matter really doesn't matter There is can I say something though there is something and I don't know what it is yet,

where people stick, yeah? Where what you're doing, what you're doing, people start sticking to it like they like it, you know what I mean? So you can sit there and say what you want about certain comedians that are doing well, but something they're doing is making people stick. You know, the agents and managers can't make the people show up, right?

So, the people that are selling well and making money, there's something that they're doing that people in a mass amounts like. And then, you know, me, you know, there's something that you're doing or I'm doing or whatever that where it's like, well, what are you doing that's not sticking? Yeah. But I think both things can be true. I think that they're going to be people who, you know, like you guys and they're going to be people who like kind of gaspied and they're going to be people who like me and whatever. But it's who is getting the publicity or the chances or the press to draw in the most people who then can decide if you stick or not.

You know what I mean? It's going to be a lot harder for me to find my audience if it's just me solo on social media and I'm not getting on TV and I'm not whatever, where some of these acts where we may go, well, that's questionable why so many people like them of course people are gonna fucking like them but they're exposed to so many more people that it's easier for them to find their audience. Well the bottom line is for me there is no better club comic than me. There's no better club comic. You could sit here and argue it but I am the most important. Bobby who's gone he keeps leaving the podcast is

All the podcast you've done this 80 times this month Boss, can you just do like a tight 20 for us? Well, Bob is on some of you. I don't fail I'm just I can't help it. I've been doing it so long. I've seen you fail You've never you've seen me fail in life, but you don't see me I have seen you fail. You've never seen me fail in life, but you don't see me fail on a stage. There you go. I thought that.

I apologize. I will say, when I fucking, I was so intimidated by you guys when I started at the Boston. And what I will say to fucking vouch is I would be making fucking excuses why I'm dying at the Boston Comedy Club in front of 20 people.

And it didn't matter how shitty the audience or how small the audience You guys would go in there and crush and destroy all my fucking excuses and I would just have to leave I would just be like oh all right. Well, I guess you can fucking you can do it Like the great Shane Gillis once said That's what we in Vos back in the when we first came to New York and we're working the Boston comedy. Yeah Well, she gave you your first shot at the Boston. He was running. Yeah, he was he was too What do you call it Boston? Bosch, you gum is killing everybody. Oh, okay. She's killing everybody. I mean you're literally

Chomping gum into a microphone Which is just mind-boggling to anybody listening. But you can't hear it. You're saying that the people listening, why don't you go by their names and get it out of the way to Frank and Mary. Sorry. And look, actually John, Loo, that JC, Crumbum, everybody's listening. And you know, my podcast gets thousands of listeners. Oh, come down. I know it does. Okay, I wouldn't do this if it was only, if it wasn't one of the biggest podcasts out of Westchester.

Oh, that's a fact. That is 100% real. Bad dreams. I'm gonna fuck, I want that as the opening show, Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea.

Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en vol go on. Yeah. No one could follow Regionny and the round guy. But I did. I did one night. You want to hear my first night in New York City, my first set, like when I moved here. Like I did two sets. I drove to Boston, from Boston to New York to do two sets. I did one, I got up a little quick one, and then I did one to actually perform in front of Barry Cats. I got an perform in front of Barry Cats.

I got an audition in front of Barry Cats, me and Al Dau Beni drove from New York, from Boston to New York to do our set. We got down there. Al Dau Beni went up and pretended to have a British accent. He did the whole night like this. And it was a last minute thing and he said, you know, I'm gonna just go up and do it like this. And it was a last-minute thing and he said, you know, I'm going to just go up and do it

like this. And Barry loved it. Oh, no. He took us out to eat after to a Chinese restaurant. And he was like, man, I really love that character you did. We should really, you know, really tried to, you know, write some stuff around it. And Gowd, Alda Beni was contemplating becoming English because of Barry Katz, okay? And I was fucking livid. He wanted nothing to do with me. I mean, my set, I mean, he wanted nothing to do with me. I was so sad, driving home, Al was on the phone talking. Yeah, he said he liked, you know,

and I just wanted to go fuck you, you fucking character. You just, anyways, when I moved here, I came to, and I believe, I came to the Boston Commonwealth. I believe Matt Frost told Mustafa, Mustafa, I'm sorry, Mustafa was a Mustafa who ran it to not make it easy on me. Yes.

Why? Why? He wanted me to fucking kill it. He wanted me to he wanted to fucking expose my superhero power. He needed to get mad. I needed to get stuck in I needed to get that. I'll stout that British accent, baby. Hello.

So I, uh, so he finally, I come down to the fucking club. I have the flu. Oh my god. I'm dying. I'm fucking dying. I have no insurance. I have, I think $85 to my name. I'm, I'm fucking dying any, but tonight was my night to go on and I'm about to go on

It was like I don't know fucking quarter or nine fucking J more comes in He comes up just leads around you go after J great Jim burrow comes in you gotta go back to Jim Now I've said well Jim was on Chappelle came in because they were buddies at that time, right? You go up there to Chappelle. And then he comes in and he goes, Ren Johnny and Round Guy came in and they go,

dude, you gotta close it after, Region and you round that going up. So dude, I'm not talking, I'm talking. Bob-oom, Bob-oom, Bob-oom, Bob-oom, and then fucking, what the fucking roof fell off. I got the flu. I'm like... DUDE, I go up and I fucking... I murdered. I fucking murdered.

I fucking... BASIC! I fucked a stool, I drank, it's come. I fucking... I blew it, I sucked it, I fucked it, I did it's come I Blue it I sucked it I fucked it I did it that poor stool would fucking me to me right now Every stool every stool in comedy called the cop plan I'm telling you dude I did everything I could and I fucking murdered and then Mustafa was like he gave me 20 bucks First time I made money in New York he gave me 20 bucks. First time I made money in New York, he gave me 20 bucks,

and I went home, I was like, fucking, then I had to get, I used that money to get flu medication. Yeah. Not to be like, super earnest, but what was your mentality? Go ahead, like, were there moments where you like, I'm gonna fucking leave, were there moments where you were legitimately almost star-struck and aw,

or were you like like hyping yourself up being like you have to fucking kill? Like what was it? No, as they came in, I got matter and matter. I'm like, fuck, what the fuck? I kept getting, I was like, oh, shit, of course. And then, you know, then she pal, I was like, are you fucking kidding me?

It's like a baby. But I came from Boston Boston so I had to follow Swini and Gavin and and and Patrice and Burr and Dane Kenny Rogers. I had a I had a I had a I had a I had a I had a follow those fucking guys Galman and and we're talking in downtown Boston where you if you didn't, you'd fucking be dragged off stage. You know what I mean? I've seen how at Nix when it's packed, someone died in there, it's not fucking pretty. And you had to go up after Kevin Knox, forget. I saw Quinn die.

I saw Quinn walk 500 people. A 500 people like leaving, whistling. Whistling. whistling. I mean dude it was crazy. And yeah, but so in my head I was just getting matter and matter. And then I didn't, but here's the lucky thing. I didn't know who read Johnny and I didn't know them.

I didn't know who, I knew who she'd tell us, but I didn't, I heard about shit, but I didn't know, I didn't know who's funny. I didn't know how funny he was. I had no perspective on how funny those guys were. So they just murdered, and I was just sitting there with the flu. You know, so it was just my turn to go up and I just fucking murdered it. Same thing with the seller.

They brought me over to the seller. My, it was a frosty was like, hey, you got to think next down the street. You got a little five minutes set. I just went in, hey, how you doing? I don't know who the fuck she was. I didn't know what the seller, my, my, my, it was a frosty was like, hey, you get a thing next down the street, you get a little five minute set. I just went in, hey, how you doing? I know the fuck she was. I didn't know what the seller was. I thought it was like a little shit club, whatever. I walked on fucking bone wax. Good night. Walked off. She's like, come see me at the model. I was like, fuck, all right. You know, those hot ladies at the door, smoking a cigarette, I'm like, I fucking do it. So that's so cool. You had no pressure because you had no idea. Yeah. I had no idea

That's why I always tell guys and girls. Sorry But it's anything get become a headliner. Don't come to New York to become good Become a headliner where you are on the road and then come and come to New York as a headliner But everybody thinks you're a new guy. You're a new guy. You're really gonna get five minute, ten minute spots. You're a headliner. You're gonna want murder. When I used to play in Chicago, Hannibal would fucking, no matter who was playing at this place

called the Lakeshore Theater, Hannibal would be like, hey, can I be a guest spot or can I open it? And he was already like kind of famous. And I think he had lived in New York, but he was living in Chicago. And he would just go there every fucking weekend. And I think he had lived in New York, but he was living in Chicago. And he would just go there every fucking weekend and I think there were a lot of Chicago guys, like Malania and those guys, they just got killer in these sort of like still cities, but like Denver, Austin, Chicago, whatever. And then they come to New York and those are

the people that you're like, wow, that guy got big so fast. And it's like, no, he just got good at a place where he could get good stage time. Right. It's what you're gonna do. There's a fucking. Fuck, Julie. It is. When you become, when you come to New York and you suck,

that you suck, you know, like I suck in Boston. And then I came to New York, fucking great. So when I got a chance to be the new guy, I was the great new guy. I was that new kid's fucking awesome. When you come to New York and you're the new person and you suck, oh, that she stinks. So he stinks. Right. It takes you eight couple of years to get that out of people's taste buds. Well, and they say that about your home club, too, where even like Vinny Brand will only know me as the guy who pathetically begged for

guest spots and like wash dishes one night when there was in the guest spot for a poll. You know, like that's just what I did. I was just pathetic and I bombed all the fucking time. And so they have fucking low bar people you bring up as analogies and shame Vinnie. And you think Vinnie's sharing the only one that knows you like that? Bobby, should I move to the classy painting room to make fun of me? Where are you? Are you in a museum? First of all, first of all, I couldn't get in service in my basement.

My house is too big so I went upstairs into my dining room. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Where do you get an Austin Tages gold frame like that? Where do you get a frame like I just done as one? Not just one, 12. Oh my God. I hope there's another fire. Oh my God.

I'm kidding. You know, I'm kidding. Yeah, Bobby's right. I came into New York. I'm kidding. Bobby's right, I came into New York. I was already doing comedy like fucking 12 years or who knows. I did stuff in New York here in the air, special shows. But when I came into New York, my first club I got into was Carolins, which at the time was the hottest club in New York. I remember one time I was working to Seller. I was a regular Seller and I was leaning on a piano and I wasn't having a great set.

I didn't know as she was in a hallway and I go, fuck this place, I don't need it. I got Caroline's, but she hurt me say it I got like two months she banned me but back then you know kind of you got into Caroline's back then you know and Boston and the seller you know and I mean that was the main club was Caroline's again and then it was easier to get into the other ones yeah Yeah. I got into Boston at the seller. I tried to get it at the strip, but that fucking goal would look like that. And I would kill. I'd go and kill and he would just, well, we don't know.

I was like, all right, dude, I'm out. I don't really need you shit. And Starler, and she was one time, she's like, all right, dude, I'm out. I don't really need you shit. And Starla, she was one time, she's like, you did grow good. I was thinking, what? I go, what? I just murdered. What the fuck are you talking about?

But I, one thing I never hated them for it, because I always believed you get into the clubs that are your club, like that you fit into. I'm not gonna, I was never, look at, I never got in a Gotham. It just wasn't my club. I didn't hate those guys. I just understood that they were doing something different. Caroline's same thing. I got in the Boston Comedy Club and the Comedy Seller and I was, I was a rap, not to say that I, I work Caroline's, I love those guys. Gotham guys, I work with them all the time now. I love those guys.

I had to, there's a certain point, like you said, to bring it back to your, to the great Shane Gillis, is when you become undeniable, right? Is when they're like, a Bob, come over, let's just work, let's work together. That's, that's what happens. See, I fucked up. I, I started in New York, because I grew up in Jersey, and then I would, I was so fucking insecure back then that I would get into, well, first of all,

my seller audition, same with you. Like, I did not, I didn't even get mad. I got a seller audition like when I was five years in, poling out ready, ate my dick on stage. Literally, I remember shaking the host hand, and was like, I guess I'll see you up, Dan of New York. I apologize to SD, and then I don't think I've ever shown up there again.

Oh my God. It was awful. It was so bad. And it was like, but it was straight up fucking on me. But I never, even when I had some momentum, I would do my auditions, like Montreal editions, these auditions at the big clubs. But then if we had a good set, because I had a podcast back then, that's how I was making a living, I wouldn't keep showing up to try to get in the rotation. Like I always had sort of imposter syndrome, wherever

do well on this showcase. And then I would just kind of disappear. And I was starting to get like my own little like tiny niche audience. And I was like, it's almost like I bombed for so many fucking years when I showed up in New York when I was barking at the Boston or handing out flyers at the Boston, that then when I started to get some recognition,

I was like, I just don't want to fucking go back to bombing. I don't want to go back to that seller audition. And then I kind of pushed out. And that's when I went all in with the podcast, which backfired and in my life ended. Well, I'll tell you a standup New York at one point was such a hot club. You'd go there on a Tuesday and the lineup was,

you know, Mark Marin, Patrice, Gerardo, you know, Judy, I mean, major all headliners and that one, Carrie Hoffman owned it. It was, I got three TV shows out of stand-up New York. It was such a powerful club and then all of a sudden the fucking produce shows came in, the bringer shows and have those. That's what I think killed some of these comedy clubs is that instead of putting the lineup together

that would just murder every show, that people would be like, I gotta come back here. I gotta bring friends back. I gotta, I mean, that's what the seller wound up doing. It's like we're just going to pick funny people to play here. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter your race, vagina, no dick, whoever you are, past that five minutes,

will be like, yeah, she or he's funny, come back and work. Yeah, because then what happens is so many audience members, they go to these like three hour fucking shit shows, and they go, I guess this is what comes, I comedy, even when I would hand it out flyers for some of these shows, I'm like, I'm just lying to these people where I'm like, you never know who Shepel came by and all this stuff. And then suddenly they watch me walk on the stage. And they're like, oh, it's the guy who lied to me on the fucking street corner.

And then I did my Shamline. Yeah. Yeah. The Shambles with the clubs were, they were going, they went from a real comedy club to a quick fix, which never works in anything. They figured, get him into me, get him into me. No.

And they didn't care about, like I said, Santa New York had an upper West Side crowd, and they would keep coming back, because then the new owners came in and just whatever. And, but once it went to that bringer shape, once it went to, you know, produce just, it's like guys, you, it's not consistent. Comedy is consistency. Whether you're trying to be a comic or you're fucking putting on a show. If you consistently put on a great show as a comic, you consistently go to the club you wanna be a part of.

If you're there every night showing your face, you'll become part of their crew. And you'll get your opportunity, and then if you have the goods, then you'll be in the club. A lot of people too, they think that they get in the cellar. You know, like, oh, you've been in the cellar. No, dude, I got the seller

I got the one forty five spot or hosting For five to six years Okay, I was going up at and if Godfrues in front of you the one forty five was a three thirty spot Okay, so I was sitting around all fucking night waiting for my spot to get, you know, get fucking food to get a $20 bill and a fucking in some dinner. And that's I didn't care.

Like I wasn't sitting there. Most peep comics now are looking at fame and looking at how they can get something, I was just trying to get a set to get on stage to do comedy. I didn't care about any of the other shit. You know, the money was just to keep the roof over my head. You know, the comedy was the fucking thing that I loved and then the fellowship of being at the seller and hanging out all night being a part of that club All of us fucking with each other laughing have fun getting food doing a show and then killing it You know what I mean? I fucking love that because it's it sounds like such bullshit advice when a young comic Ask you and you just go you got to just fucking love it and They go, right, but how do I make money? And you're like, you got to just fucking

love it. Because if you're always thinking about the money, that's going to tone down your set. You're going to be less authentic. You're going to be shittier. You're going to be bitter. You're going to be bitter. You're resentful. Instead of just, I'm just fucking glad to be here. I want to be the best comic. Jamie, Jamie, back then you didn't have the internet where as a shitty comic you can become famous very fast back then they didn't have the comics who are shitty now who I would say shitty who who don't have the experience right to be a great comic can become very famous very fast because of of the social media, the internet.

All this stuff can happen real fast right now. They're all we can tell me how to do that. You can tell you're fine. I'm very happy. Okay, okay. Bill Gates couldn't help you. What I'm saying is that she bought it. He said Bill Gates, because he couldn't think of the president of Twitter.

It's too much. The owner of Gateway couldn't help you. What? Here, you know, Bobby was different than I was working the road so much before New York that I would get strong on the road. Like a lot of New York comics or comics would go into New York to work on their sets and build their sets up in New York. I'm sure Bobby, I don't know, but myself built up my material on the road. And then when I came into New York, it was easy to blow the fucking rooms away because then again, you know, we had time under our belts and we had doing hours and hours and hours on the road. You also don't just have a fucking seven minute set where if one of your jokes bombs,

you're like, all I have is seven minutes. Yes. But that's, you know, there's a difference of coming in after 10 years, eight years, 12 years, 15 years to somebody who's starting out and building up their sets. And now they're doing it on rooftops or in alleys. I think the best advice I ever got was from a rogan. To me, I asked him, I had a way to, what do I do, blah, blah, blah.

And he was like, just get on stage. Just get on stage. And what are you doing? Hey. Hey. Hello. Can you show Bobby your purple hair No, he can see I saw it. I saw it. I don't please please don't force us to be friends because it's uncomfortable for

I love Rayna I love her, but I hate when boss forces her to fucking to show Bobby She's a she's an adult little girl. Let her do her own thing. No, no, no, no, no. She wants to have dinner. She does what I told her to do. I apologize. I'm sorry. You're right. Uh, so wait, uh, you were saying the broken gave you a bite. What? What? What? You're right. You shut your mic off. There you go. What the fuck? You're good. You're good. We can hear you. I We can hear you here. I'll come. I can't hear. Oh, God. I can't take them. Hearing him. Hearing him not know we can hear him is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I have to.

Rogan said, just get on stage. And it was this where you already, no, I was just a new comic. I was probably opening the middle. You know what I mean? Yeah, sorry, just hearing. Well, it's like a grandparent is trying to figure out how to leave a voicemail. Please, be credible.

Please, Ben, come back in. Don't just sign right. He can't do sign language. I mean, the pain just fits everything. When he's squinting, he looks so determined, which is really cute. He's like, no turned you turn your volume up volume volume that looks like you're fingering him volume I want this the last volume always got oh thank god

oh wait can you hear us are you back no turn turn your watch can you please help him call him don't text him, can you please help him? Call him. Don't text him. Just call him and help him. No, but did that advice help you? Or were you like, because I remember sometimes that I would ask comics I looked up to for advice and it,

like I'd be like, how do you get an agent? I'd be like, just get on stage. And you're like, where, where, where, but like, how do I get paid to, like, just get better at comedy? And I'd be like, fuck yourself. But that is, that is the only answer. I feel like I heard that in the beginning and I was like, all right, but like,

give me some joke writing something or whatever. And then the, well, I mean, I've been doing it five years now, which is nothing. But now I'm like, oh, that makes, that's the only piece of advice there possibly is. I did get when people like Louie and a bunch of people were like, it takes eight years to find your voice. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

How does that get me an agent? I'm using my own voice. And then eight years happens and you're like, it takes eight years to find your voice. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? How does that give me an agent? I'm using my own voice. And then eight years happens. And you're like, Oh, I was imitating a comedian for eight years. Yeah. The best of 10 years, 12 years. And I, Valuis, Louis actually gave a great example of when you're a good comic. He said that the first six years is just like first through sixth grade. And then you have seventh and eighth grade. And then there's four years of high school and then four years of college. And by the time that's done, you're a fucking good comic.

And then once you get out of college, you whip out your cock. It's a tale of old time. That's not your adjoison. That's graduation. But I mean, this year, this is not the, this year is the first year that I've talked about fucking relationships on stage.

Because for the longest time, I was like, it has to be political, it has to have this agenda. And I'm like, this is the best stuff I've ever done because I actually give a shit about it. And it's stuff I'm actually going through. And instead of a math problem, instead of a fucking math problem, instead of, well, okay, I have an anti-war bit, I have an anti-gun but I guess I got to write an abortion thing now.

And I want to bring something up because I know you are political. And Voss is here too. Yep. Who's very political? Jamie, since you're very pro-Trump, was it hard for you on stage to get away with that stuff? No, so I've always been on the wrong side of the business spectrum with political comedy. So I started being political fucking after 9-11

when no one wanted political stuff at all. Then that's when I started going overseas to make money. I would literally, dude, there was a time where I played the fucking Sydney Opera House, got back to New York, and I couldn't get booked at New York Comedy Club. Like, nothing, I would have to go overseas, make money, come back, and call the money's gone,

go overseas. Then under Obama, when I got on Conan, my co, I've not been invited back. The set went fine, but they got so much fucking hate mail because I talked about the same. Should I talk about under Bush? I did a bunch of anti-war, don't be racist shit, but it was Obama. People were like, we don't criticize Obama. Then fucking Trump becomes president. Everyone's doing Trump jokes. And I go, yeah, I don't want to be like everyone else. And so I don't, now that I can finally be a lefty comedian, I think I

have one, I had one Trump joke. And it was about how Trump was funny. It was very bad. All of it. You're like a moron. I would, I would, I would have became the guy you were a fucking eight years ago. It's just Trump that elected. I would have had a beret like him. Bobby, what were you going to ask him? I'm sorry. I cut you to elect it. I would have had a beret like him. Bobby, what were you going to ask him? I'm sorry. I cut you off about political. Well, I saw this today. It fucking made me so angry. I'm here. So.

Sorry. No. I thought you like. You broke his heart. No, I thought you were. I was going. Oh, you broke his heart. No, fuck the fuck. There's nothing but trash, mate. So I'm old and stupid. All right. I might be.

These are all facts. I'm old. I'm old. I mean, you guys don't get it. I got it. I'm so wonderful. It's so wonderful. I saw this today.

Somebody said it to me. And it made me it to me and it made me so fucking mad. It made me so fucking mad. Listen, I'm not a Catholic. I'm not a Christian. I'm a Catholic by my family. What I'm saying is I don't go to church every Sunday. We didn't baptize Max. But I don't hate Catholics.

And I don't hate Christians. And I don't hate Christians. And I don't care what you want to fucking do with your spare time. If it's something with religion, that's fine. Jewish people, I have a temple behind my house. God bless you every Saturday night. There's light shining right through my fucking window. And they can't call me watching.

Your Jewish name drop has nothing to do with you having Jewish friends you're like I happen to be located by a fucking temple. And I don't like what they're doing on the day night. I have to get another life situation. And it bothers me actually. I'm going on the street. Go ahead. I'm fine with all that shit.

And I, in Christmas, I don't want to say happy holidays. I say Merry Christmas. Yeah. Because that's my fucking holiday. in Christmas, I don't want to say happy holidays. I say Merry Christmas. Because that's my fucking holiday. And I remember one night fucking Chappelle, I walked out off stage and I was like, hey, man, Merry Christmas, he goes, I don't celebrate Christmas motherfucker.

And I was like, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I didn't know you went to prison like Tyson and he came out of fucking Muslim. I didn't know. I don't, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. like Tyson. He came out of fucking Muslim. I didn't know I don't I don't I'm sorry I don't know what to say. I was just saying Mary christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas But Merry Christmas to you. I think it would be that the fucking you know what I mean? But I don't care about that. I say Merry Christmas to people. I don't say happy holidays

You know that I say once in a while right but mainly Merry Christmas and Yes, you know that I say once in a while, right, but mainly Merry Christmas and I if you go to see Santa if Santa Claus gets hired if you become a Santa Claus you are not fucking you You're Santa and therefore you have to take on all the traits that Santa takes on You cannot fucking bring your political horseshit left this fucking bullshitted. If you're taking that job as an actor, you have to be fucking Santa. Is this about this man? I thought that was handed out the AOC pins. That's your upside. He's a fucking twat too. Yep, not him. Mike, play this video. Mike, play this video. Mike, play the video. No, no, no, no, didn't even make sense. Where's the video? One of the Jews from this vinegar. I got Mike.

Turn it up. What? No, no, no guts. No, not even a nerve gun. No, if your dad wants to get it for you, that's fine, but I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What do you think? Oh no! This is cringing. This is bad. Mike let it play till the end. Oh fuck, I can't hear any of it. Oh my god.

There you go, Santa. There you go, you fucking piece of shit. There you go, Santa. There you go, you fucking piece of shit. Wow. There you go, you fat fucking actor. You fucking suck enough to teach, you fucking pretending to be a fucking fake character, to getting your stupid money during someone else's holiday that you don't believe in, and you're gonna force your fucking shit down a little kid's throat that doesn't even understand guns.

So take away fucking star wars, because there's lasers, take away fucking every movie, because his lasers, take away fucking every movie, take away every western, take everything off TV with cops. Don't show fucking anything with any gun, a laser, a cannon, a fucking superhero power. Go fuck yourself, you fat piece of shit. You piece of fucking shit.

Stop with your gun shit. It's all right. It's fucking guns. It's a nerfed gun That was it's like swords they like guns. They like fucking video games fuck video game. Fuck it all then Let's just live in fucking peace and harmony you cock suckers And then we can have everybody every other country just come over and fucking give us a nice wall up with a fucking With a with a with a bat because we're helpless cock suckers and sand a suits. Well, she's suggested cars and trucks and those contribute to global warning.

It will. Thank you, Jay. I went from being anti gun to being like, I have to commit a mass shooting. That was the crazy. Here's the problem. The problem is I agree. Probably with you everybody here like different political we all agree on so much fucking more than we think we do right even though I want Strictor

Gun laws I talk to people who are fucking gun owners I talked to a cop yesterday I talked to because I want to learn from people who know more about guns than fucking I do and I talked to because I want to learn from people who know more about guns than fucking I do and Usually when you get off Twitter and you talk one-on-one and you can go back and forth There's a ton of gray area. Jamie Jamie. It's not about that Yeah, that's another conversation you have Where I'm going with that is what she does what she is fucking doing is so insane that it's a heat It was a he it sounds like a sheet listen to me. it's a heat. It was a heat.

It sounded like a sheet. Listen to me, stop for one second. It's Santa Claus. He's a he. Santa Claus. It's a mall Santa Claus. It's a he and he and he fucking said, you can't get a gun to a kid.

Listen, you don't have to say no. You can say, all right, let's see what we can do. And we'll keep it moving. You fat fuck. Nobody give, listen, a year from now, he's going to find out that you're a phony fat fuck actor on SAG, getting fucking 300 dollars an hour. Fuck you. I got out. That's a non-union gig. I met another word that rhyme with that. Sorry. I mean, real quick, where I was going with that though, is like, I fucking agree with you.

And it's people like that who do such fucking insane things that make and get highlighted that make the rational people on both sides. Just go fucking look at that person. Everything that person was insane. And I went with that. Listen, that fucking guy. and here's the thing, he didn't even get up to console that fucking kid.

He didn't even fucking do anything. He had no empathy for that fucking child. This kid has not seen his friends in a year, has not had a fucking holiday with pals of teachers or anything in a year. He's been alone for a fucking year as a young kid, okay? And now he goes to San Adamal. Where's a mask? Waits in the line.

Get up front. What do you want? And you tell him, no, that guy should be fired. Fucking never to fucking near be children. You should never be near children. Never be fucking near children. I remember when my daughter was seven, I bought her four land mines for Christmas.

And I said, listen, you're gonna have to learn to how to deal with obstacles in your life. And I placed them around the backyard, and I say go. And I place them around the backyard, right? And I say go. And she's fine. Can you bring her into show, Bobby, the lemons? Start a friendship. Yeah.

Could she place them around the yard and have you walk around with a blindfold? Yeah, I mean, I mean, you play like that or so fucking performative. And they're not doing it to you. There is no way. The best case scenario, you're not doing it to there is no way the best case scenario you're not helping that child by saying that that kid has no ill intentions with a fucking

toy gun and didn't even try to explain it didn't even try to just was so shitty and made that kid feel like there was a wrong answer to give the fucking Santa Claus. He talked to a child he talked to a child like he talked to some fuck face at a bar. Like he was like, no, can't do that. Maybe your father can, listen, listen, you fucking piece of garbage. All you have to do is go, all right, we'll see what we can do and keep it moving. And then go home and tell you dumb wife or your husband or whoever the fuck you live with say, you know what?

I don't like doing this. Then don't do it. The job is Give the kids what they want. That's it. That's the job. The job is to say okay and make a kid happy That he saw some fictional fucking fat fuck that doesn't exist Okay, cuz you know, I wish I wish I could get the credit for all the shit I'm buying my kid I could have some fucking that fat fuck all the credit, you know what I'm saying? I get nothing I get Santa's so awesome. I didn't get a letter. This should be cookies Wait for me at night daddy. I put these cookies out. I love you so much Thanks for working so hard and doing a podcast in the shed every fucking day.

Pay the fucking bills and get me the basketball that I wanted. Here's 15 cookies. Eat away, chub, chub. Fucking best podcast in Westchester in a shed. Sir, yeah, I don't know. I mean, dude, even what you were saying with the Merry Christmas thing,

where it's like, I'm, I say Merry Christmas all the fucking time because it makes me happy because it's nostalgic because it's a holiday about fucking wonderment. And like, I don't see it as a political, it just makes me fucking happy to say it. And it just makes other people happy. There is something. So, I don't know, it's almost like cathartic. When you say Merry Christmas to someone, it just makes you fucking feel good. Yeah, look Most of the rhetoric on like the love to try and a fucking stop Christmas Dude, I love Christmas so fucking much, but then you see bullshit like this and you're like who did this help? You only made a child cry

Yeah, what a piece of shit and it's it's it's And the guy is just a fucking god. What are you laughing at? What I Talk so bad Not at all I agree with Go ahead with you guy. I do say Mary holidays Gary holidays. I just like to throw people off No, we listen. We got two Christmas trees here, you know, but I don't care if you say happy holidays either

No, I don't care if you say happy Hanukkah. I'll say happy Hanukkah back Why people get so disturbed or fucking some somebody saying Merry Christmas? Why that bothers somebody is beyond me It's beyond me why is it fucking why does your father people to say the pleasure of allegiance in a school? It's fucking people and their fucking agenda. So people are so fucking far, far left or far right. You know the a pledge of allegiance? Yes, to the flag, I'd say right now.

You know, right now. To the East. And up what you're doing, you're not supposed to do it, sitting. I play the head off. You're just going to see his torso. You can't say that. You can't say what you had on it. You're not supposed to do it. Sit and I play. I think you had on. We're just going to see his torso. You can't say that we. You can't say what you had on, dude.

With the United States of America, do you need to make a choice? You can't. One nation under God, individual liberty and justice for all. Thank you. Amen. Amen.

You don't have any after that. You say that after? I don't. No, she's from the woke schools where you don't, you don't, you don't say anything. Well, you don't say amen. I'm about this where you don't you don't you don't say anything We don't have about this I grew up in public school in New Jersey My no means woke. Yeah, let's and your character on the show is woke. That's what What today what's today do you know what today is yes? No, not you Gabby Gabby. Do you know what today is?

Monday, okay Yes, no, not you Gabby Gabby. Do you know what today is Monday? Okay What is it the 71st anniversary of Pearl Harbor? Do you understand where this generation is they have no fucking they have no they don't care about history of The country the country doesn't really mean shit to them. Not that they hate our country, but they don't give a fuck about our country the way my generation, your generation, and generation before that did. They'd rather, they don't care about the fucking old dudes with the dumb hats with the ships. Eh, fuck them. They don't give a shit.

I don't know. Jamie, did you know that it was the anniversary of Pearl Harbor? No, and I'm fucking Hawaiian. So I really fucked up. Oh great, so it's up to me. Yeah. No, I'm gaming's in your generation. He's not in our generation. You're true. Well, he's above her.

He's a little above her. But yeah, they don't fucking. I mean, I'm in the middle. Like I think that the looking to criticize shit just because you want to outwoke your friend, which I've done before, is different. And there's part of me that thinks that there is something very patriotic about criticizing

the country you love, right? Like, just like when you criticize your family harshly, I love America therefore I wanna stand. I'm not gonna blindly agree with every decision that we make, but doing that without being educated without also seeing the good that's happened in America. That's where things get fucked up. But there is a middle ground where yeah, of course you should be able to criticize it. That's what the Constitution says. Yeah, apps are fucking loot. But I think that the thing that

But I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I think that the thing that kids don't care about America, the way we were brought up to care about America, Pearl Harbor, World War I II, the Vietnam War, my father was in the Vietnam War. The Pledge of Allegiance, the flag, the Star Spangled Banner, all that shit, you know, I love all that stuff, but kids today could give a shit about it.

Do you think that it's just America kids, or do you think it's also, I'm just plugging in my computer, or do you think it's also just social media, instant gratification, shit like that, where we just don't care about a ton anymore. I don't care about a ton anymore. I don't care about anything. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I don't even know what I't look it. It happens. Our generation before us thought that we what you didn't even know it's Pearl Harbor Day. I know. Okay. Okay. First of all, I'm hungover. So I didn't even look at a calendar. Secondly, yeah. I don't know what's the date is. It's a pandemic. I want to tell

you. What did a calendar just turn on your Twitter. There's 19 fucking photos of fucking memorial in Hawaii. I didn't check Twitter today Wow, okay, you dumb. I feel like my generation is the the first like kid and Gen X to like actually look at politics and reform and actually care about everyone else. And that's why this fight country is going to shit. Why? What do you want? What do you want? Do you know what else today is? This is the 17th year anniversary where Bobby bombed after Al Delbeni in front of Barry

Katz. 20-25, by the way. That's all my calendar. I do have that. I never- I never said I bombed. Okay. I never said I bombed. Even though I did done do well. I did. I can do well. And he give you a heads up. Hey, man, I'm gonna go do a fucking British accent or was that the jarring to you? Dude, he he was he would do it every once in a while. So like in Boston, every once in a

while, he'd just go on and you know, and we thought it was funny, but he had an act and then he went up and he was like, hello, you know, he had like one joke at the beginning. Like, you know, I went, a bag, you know, in my country, they call this a bag. And he did some cigarette bag joke that worked, but and then he did the rest of his act as that character. I was like, wow. That was incredible.

It was so fucking funny. Carla Bow used to come out sometimes every 10. He was real religious and it was so fucking funny. That's pretty funny. It was, but he would do this whole like Christian thing and be real pleasant. I, I need to talk about your about what you're here to promote. See, that's when you know I'm having a good time. It's been an hour already and we haven't even

fucking mentioned what you're here to promote. So why don't we tell people what you're here to promote? I have my first stand-up album out in like eight fucking years. It's called 25% Capacity. I wrote it this year in quarantine by myself and then performed it. I think it's a fucking funny shit I it's the first time I've done comedy just trying to be fucking funny and talk about the shit I'm going through without the kind of Agenda we were talking about I did it in front of like 25 fucking mass people at a warehouse in Denver, Colorado

And I'm really proud of it man like I can't listen to my old stand-up and masked people at a warehouse in Denver, Colorado. And I'm really proud of it, man. Like, I can't listen to my old stand up. I can't really listen to this either, but I know I'm proud of it. It's actually- How much is it? How, what do you mean? To buy it.

Where can you get it? Everywhere. So I can spotify Amazon, whatever fucking albums call it. It's either eight bucks or you can stream it for free on Spotify or- Great. Just even if you don't like, just put it on fucking mute. whatever fucking albums call it's either eight bucks or you can stream it for free on Spotify or great. Just even if you don't like just put it on fucking mute. Look, there's something very redemptive about my story and let's get it to number one and

that's all I fucking want. And then let's what what do you mean by? I mean, if you really want to take a shot at the kinds of Santa Claus's that will make children cry, get me to number one and you'll make all of them mad is what I'm trying to say That's great that you know the first album is usually so fucking funny because you have so many years of built up like here six album right here right six one uh that and uh four of them were all number one I know Bobby's god wait is that the fucking Hamilton cover yeah yeah but I'm incredible it's so funny because when I did the CD but how can you step on his plug he's plug. He's he you know he has a CD to plug. His album in eight years lost his

career lost everything had to start over from the ground up. He's literally cleansed himself baptized himself rebirth himself into a new Jamie. Here he is today on the show fucking being great fun for us. Oh my God. Oh, he is fucking bit. Well, thank you, Bobby. I do have to say that when I, after I did fucking the year, whenever I saw you and Voss on Jim and Sam's, it was just, cause I don't know if you've ever done this,

but like when I, when I left stand up, I just started saying fuck stand up. Like it wasn't, like there was that bitterness, right? Where I'm like, fuck, I didn't want any comedy specials, I didn't do that, anything. And then, I'm sorry, wait a minute. I don't know. Yeah, but you have to do the extra 10 and this would be a great thing for that.

Oh, yeah, let's. I want to talk about the extra 10 and another thing too. And Lou brought up a great thing if you can bring it up in the extra 10. We'll talk about this because you did have to start over. It's your first album in eight years. It's available on everything right now. You can get albums on. Make sure you go check it out. It's 25% is the name of the album in eight years. It's available on everything right now. You can get albums on. Make sure you go check it out. It's 25% is the name of the album. I believe you're right.

25% capacity. 25% capacity. Make sure you go check it out. And we're going to find out, much bring up lose comment. I'll say it again. Lose comment made, we're going to talk about this. Why did you have it, baby? Oh, boy, baby. But wait a second. Because I was too funny. But wait a second, baby. Did you have an album before? This is your first album in comedy?

No. No, it's eight years. He said in eight years because my, all of my fucking lefty, mick, cuck albums were all number one, as well. And then I disappeared. And then I thought I would never make a standup album again. And then, yeah, so the last one I had was like about eight years ago. So we're going to go to the extra 10 right now, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you want the extra 10 every week, we do an extra 10 minutes.

That was in an over an hour of YKWD, but we go in extra 10 with our guests. It goes on patreon.com.sets rubber Kelly if you're a member of this if you love my Podcast go to patreon.com.sets rubber Kelly right now and become a member you should be over there Supporting me over there especially during this fucking pandemic. She's son of a bitches So make sure you go over there and sign up today and Gabby make sure you get his album boss. What do you got? up today and Gabby make sure you get his album Voss what do you got? No, by his album, I'm not trying to promote anything. That's why I love you.

Jamie, Jamie, here's the thing. Send me a link on Twitter and I'll repost it or I'll be tweeted or whatever. Oh, thanks buddy. You don't follow me. So I will text you. Voss, can you do that? I'm trying to, I'm trying to wrap up the show and you fucking go off on tangents about send me a link That's like a personal thing. I'm trying to help but help him. I'm trying to wrap up the first part of the show

We're gonna go into the nut park and you I said you have anything to plug you just go no go his CD I'm not talking to him What was that? Yeah, we were at Gab wrap up Gabby. Gabby, what are you going to get? Wait, we're already 14 minutes over. So what's the difference if we go two more minutes over? Gabby, what do you got? You can let's know my podcast on a bash podcast. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Gabby is Brian. I have a comedy newsletter monthly. Sign up for that with the link in my bios. Moch, what do you got? Follow me at my Facebook, my Facebook, my Instagram, and me, Greg Stunner, and the

David O. Do a Mandalorian recap every week. And it's a great show. And make sure you guys, everybody, this show, when you sign up for Patreon, you get this show live, the day we shoot it on Monday, unended it. So make sure you go to patreon.com, subscribe to Kelly. There you go. And if you go to YouTube, subscribe and like it, right? Voss is actually getting his fucking shot collar hat on.

It's great. Why are you changing hats? All right, you guys are the best. You know what? Go ahead and get your pants right now. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. you