Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jim and Nikki Norton | True Love

Episode Date: April 7, 2024

This week Bobby sits down with Jim Norton and his wife Nikii. They talk about how they met and the process of getting her to America. They talk about their life living together and how Jim's friends have been supportive of their relationship. Follow Jim Norton https://www.jimnorton.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jimnorton/?hl=en Follow Nikki Norton https://www.instagram.com/msnikkinorton/?img_index=1 watch Sword fight https://www.youtube.com/@NikkiandJimNYC Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. We talked online very briefly and then I found out she had a very fun job.

And you found out I had a dick. I knew that the second we talked. Oh, you could tell. But yeah, he's the Sherlock Holmes talked. Oh, you could tell. But yeah, he's the Sherlock Holmes of... Yes, he really is. He's Columbo. Let me ask you one more question.

Sorry to bother you. Sorry to bother you. Are you a fully functional, the answer? I'm sorry. I found out what you are. Would you date me though if I was not fully functional? This is a real question. I wouldn't even email you.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now. I can email you. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. YKWD, YKWD. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules.

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With that, I've been excited about this for a long time and we're finally here. Max, who do we got? We have Jim and Nicky Norton. Yay! Nikki Norton. Yay! What's up, man? I'm so excited to have you guys here. Jim, I know like me and you, I'm like... But I feel like, we did a show together, we know, I have a friend. But yeah, it's like... I look at you as one of Jim's absolute closest friends because you're one of Jim's absolute closest friends because you're one of the very first friends of Jim circle that I met. One of the, yes, I remember

that. And I remember how much he was telling me about you and we had dinner at Montreal. That's right. We did. And with Dawn and Max with Dawn and Max. And then we, uh, you were over Thanksgiving. Yes. And Dawn is the most amazing cook. Can I say that was my first Thanksgiving ever at Bonnie's house ever. Oh, you guys don't do Thanksgiving. No, we won. You had two in number two. All but they weren't good. Proper Thanksgiving with a dinner plate. I was the other Thanksgiving in Canada. It was just at a restaurant at a hotel. It's like a hooker. It's not even the same thing. No hookers don't want turkey dinner. They just don't. They want to get it over with. Well, I have to say your wife is a fabulous cook. Amazing. Let me tell you something. I gotta,

I'm gonna, it kills me to say this. What? Because I don't, but she is. She's amazing. I married, I married, probably the best cook you could find. I married the best, I got the best wife, no offense. You got the best wife. No, you do. She's like from- Love is on. She's from like the 50s though. Like I got so hard, I got sexually aroused this morning. She was on her knees in the kitchen scrubbing the dishwasher.

Really? Who does that? But an old broad from the 50s. She had her hair up and like a little bandana. I'm obsessed with her. And she was scrubbing it and I was like, I was like, I'm gonna make eggs. She's like, I'll make them.

She said, I'll make them when I'm done. Not make them yourself. She goes, I'll make them when I'm done. Exactly. That's what we need in the Norton household. Instead of her running around in thigh highs with hundreds of them saying, take pictures of me. You know.

I'm tired. Do me a favor, please don't stop doing that. Thank you. I wish Dawn did that. You see her hot flash neck from Menopause. She will. Her blotchy tits. No, she's just running around in like slutty outfits,

which is nice sometimes, but it's like it's late, I'm tired. Hold on, you've always told me to dress more slutty and now you have a problem with it? I don't like the way you're doing your hands. You always tell me, why don't you put on like some new pants or something? See, I see. He's always had a problem with how I dress at home. Why don't I? No, no, I like how you dress, but I'm saying don't at night, like when I have to go to

bed in 40 minutes, that's when she does it. Well, you want me to dress more sexy, so you should be happy that I look like a hooker. But a little earlier love That's all I'm saying earlier, but she's not dead And I'm so happy that we can do this podcast at seven or eight or whatever time it is because I'm a night person Yes, I like to be up at night. I feel much more relaxed now than at 2 p.m. Yeah We're I understand that Jim has to get up early. Yeah, I've done his show and it messes my day up Yes, and I I get it that it's just a tough

thing. Why does it mess your day up? All those laughs! I share the same schedule as Jim now that we are married. I go to bed when he does. I gotta spit. Why? Because of you. You didn't like the little tickle?

No. Oh, come on. There's Because of you. Why? You didn't like the little tickle? No. Oh, come on. Somebody laughs. But you married a young girl. She's not your age. No, I know. You can't expect her. What is she going to do? Hang out by herself at night? Last night she slept in the living room because she wanted to stay up and take pictures. I'm like, it was midnight. I was in bed by one. I have to be in bed by 12 at the latest. Yeah, but that's a rare case. I'm usually always in bed when. Yeah, she usually goes to bed with me.

You go to bed together? Yeah. Well, that's great, because my wife sleeps in a bunk bed with a 10-year-old. Oh, yeah. I'm in the bed by myself at night. I would love that. No, you wouldn't.

I would. I hate it. I like that we're living together, but sleeping together would be much nicer if I had time to myself to sleep because I want her to do what she wants at night but she goes to bed when I do. I will stay up later from now on because I'm kind of done with this lifestyle. When I was single I used to stay up till 4, 5, 6, 7 a.m. and I know that I was younger

then but I get creative when it's dark out. I'm not creative when it's bright. I just don't feel it. It has to be complete. But then he has to also not be home because when he's home he kills the vibe. He announces everything. I'm gonna take a shower now, I'm gonna do this now and it's really annoying. That's what couples do. But it's a little graft in my mood every time you say that. A what? Like a little like... She's acting like she has this great vibe at home to create. I get up sometimes like I'll listen to techno music and have a great time and you're just like,

I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Techno music. Yeah. It makes me so happy. You're in his life. Oh, it doesn't make techno music is blaring in the house. Exactly. Why don't we just do poppers. Yes. But here's the thing. Um, let's, I mean, I just want to get it out there because it's the, you know, the elephant in the room. Hmm. You know, no, that's the elephant trunk in the room. She stepped on my joke with a better joke. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm like, dick. No, no. I was gonna say that. I've had too much dick talk lately.

So I know people are fed up with the dick talk. No more dick talk. No more dick talk. You guys met... Look, I've always said about Jim, you normalized sex with all of us, like comics. We can be brutal, we're out there, blah, blah, blah, even misogynistic and kind of homophobic,

but never in like a, but when you would come in, you're this Aussie dude from Jersey, you're a really edgy comedian, and you would talk about stuff on the radio and in your act, and we were like, I would always be like, this f***ed up, what? And everybody was like, dude, is that real? But it was, it was real. And you were just being as honest as you can.

The thing about you that is, you're a great writer, you're as fast as anybody, but you're one of the most vulnerable guys out there doing comedy. And then when you said that you met Nicky as anybody but you're the most vulnerable, one of the most vulnerable guys out there doing comedy. And then when you said that you met Nikki and you're really in love with this girl, and I remember the struggle you were going through

with trying to get her in the country and all the stuff you had to do, and then when you finally, all the pandemic happened, all the stuff you had to do then, and then when it finally happened and she was here, I was like, I've never seen a light click on in you where you became a guy I used to know. For a long time, you were kind of,

you had a dark cloud over you. It was a rough five years, yeah. But the light clicking on that you saw was when I realized I've made a mistake. No. Techno music. No, but that's so sweet of you Bobby. Because when I imagined my life, like when I lived home in Norway 10 years ago, I would never imagine this life at 30 or 40 because the world really was a little different 10

years ago. I would never imagine that just a friend of my husband would be nice to me at all. This is true. I really mean that. Yeah. Maybe I've just always lived life behind whatever, but I'm so surprised that so many of Jim's friends here in America have been so nice to me. Like the nicest and you're one of them, the nicest.

Well, no, because it's Jim kind of did that. You kind of not, not that I ever had, you know me, I never had no problem with any, I don't care sexuality, comics are great with that. That's why I hate when they fuck with comics about that stuff. It's like, are you crazy? Like Skankfest will get bad raps, and it's like, that is the most progressive festival I've ever been at. Joe DeRosa got blown by a transgender woman. I know, Nicky Fox.

On a podcast. Yeah, Nickle Fox. And we were all like, woo! The whole crowd was like, this is great. I was surprised that he was so, is this the right word? Nonchalant about it? Like, non-reactive. Like, he just said it, like, and that was it.

I was surprised by that. I was proud of Joe. Yeah. Yeah, but you're the guy that kind of made that all right to happen. Was that his first trans fuck? No. Come on. I mean, anyone who does, no one does their first trans fuck on a podcast.

It's the first one you talk about. Oh. Oh, it's 400th. Maybe the ones before were not that fully passable. I've never put that together. Yeah. I never did the math on that. Yeah, you never, it's like, does anybody who drunk drives

get arrested the first time? No. It's the 300th time. And he's not gonna stop till he goes to jail for it. He's going to take away his license. Well, I remember, you know, cause when I first met Jim, I was, I moved into a building, a high rise building. Yeah. In Manhattan. Yeah. In Manhattan. 43rd street. Yeah. And he, he lived in Jersey with fucking Jim Florentine. Yeah. So he was like, I want to move to the city. I want to move to the city.

I'm like, we'll move to this building. He's like, I don't know, where is it? I'm like, well, it's right on 43rd between 20th and 11th. It's a dormant building. It's kind of a new one. And he was a guy, and he's just barely listening. I go, yeah. And they have the,

oh, but it was right across the street, Edelweiss. Edelweiss. Edelweiss. And he literally, I didn't hear from him for like a week and a half. All of a sudden I just saw him in my lobby. He was just in the fucking lobby with a broker. Did you love this club?

I did, yeah. So were they stripping or like? Nope. I mean, I don't know. Did they show their cocks? Edelweiss had all trans girls in it. And it was, it had a diner, I'm gonna do it cause he's fumbling for some reason. The Edelweiss had all trans girls in it. It had a diner, I'm gonna do it,

cause he's fumbling for some reason. No, no, no, no, no, no. It had a diner connected with the Market Diner, famous diner in New York City. And it had parking spots. Like one of the only diners in Manhattan where you could pull your car into. And this was like in the 2000s?

Basically connected to the bar. And it was a nightclub where all the trans girls would go. And so what you could do is just go to the bar and it was a nightclub where all the trans girls would go and so what you could do is just go to the diner and get eggs and just have these smoking hot girls flirting with you. Like semen. Yeah, on your face. But yeah, it was just like this, you know.

It's not like that anymore. No, you can't. Now it's all OnlyFans, text me and I'll meet you at your apartment. I only went in there once or twice actually and I didn't, I don't think I even hooked up in there. I just went in, it was like a strip club and you could get lap dancing, but I really didn't.

So these are trans girls stripping, showing their cocks. Did they strip? Yes. In Norway, strip clubs are illegal. So can you imagine how to me as a foreigner, this is unimaginable to me and sounds like a paradise? I could not even, my Norwegian mind could not even comprehend a strip club. How did you, how did you guys meet?

How did you meet this Aussie dude from Jersey and you're just a Norwegian goddess? I didn't even know what Jersey was, thank you. I didn't even know what Jersey was before I met Jim. Really? Then I realized he was from Jersey and I was like, oh cool, and then I realized it was kind of not cool cause Jersey is like blah.

I would rather want my man to be from California. Yeah, good, I hope you find one Like how they look from Boston, but I would never want to live in Boston. Yeah, but the men are good. Yes Are you from Boston? Yeah, we talked online very briefly and then I found out she had a very fun job And you found out I had a cock I knew that the second you we talked I mean Oh, you could tell but yeah yeah I mean I from somebody's shadow he's an expert yeah I yeah I can tell by something but I can buy the shadow from a plane I can have my somebody's ringtone he's the Sherlock Holmes of he just doesn't need that little spectacle not with me at least. He's Columbo.

Let me ask you one more question. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm sorry to bother you. Are you a fully functional the answer? But yeah, then I found out what she... Would you date me though if I was not fully functional? This is a real question. I wouldn't even email you.

I wouldn't even recommend a show for you to watch. You're fetishizing me. We talked online like I knew she was on cam. I didn't care. I don't give a fuck about that at all. People think she still does it. She's been retired for five years. I don't do webcam anymore.

Literally five years. But I started the day I turned 18. Literally the day I turned 18 on my birthday. I sent in my information And clothes in Norway in Norway. We my mother's apartment. Yes in my mother's house You're in them you live your parents. Yes, they know in a villa. I think so. No No, oh no, I told my mom something else that I was just you know I remember what she found out we knew each other when your mom found out

Yes, we did what I found when she found out. We knew each other when your mom found out. Yes, we did. We found out like three or four years later. But I was home with my mom and I would be like 18 and still in school and I would get like placer heels and stripper shoes and lingerie and lace. Delivered on the door every day and she's like, why were you affording this, perfumes? Were you making a lot of cash?

Oh, just online, you know. Were you making money? You must have been making good money. We make it money. You must be making good money. Yes some money Yeah, you make a money in Norway is if I was an only fans right now I would make ten times of what I made before Yeah, only fans is so much more lucrative 50% where I used to do it really but in Norway is it Accepted is it more accepted there like God not when I did it I was looked on if you smoke weed in, you're looked on as a junkie. The way that people smoke weed here,

if you're smoke dope in Norway, you're immediately a junkie. Really? Yes. What about transgender? Does that accepted there? Is that? It's, you know, I feel like we're going through the phase

that the gays did 20 years ago in Norway. Yeah. Because like they'll pretend and they'll be super like, oh yeah, we love everyone. Like that's the mindset, right? But the people really, and maybe it's because I'm very Norwegian, I couldn't look more Norwegian. Maybe they can see that, oh, that this was a man or, you know. But with me, I feel like they're much more, my experience in Norway is much more not transphobic. Right. Just not as good as it is. Was your family okay with it? They were okay with it, but it's I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia.

I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transphobia.

I'm not a big fan of the transphobia. I'm not a big fan of the transph months. And did you see a photo of him? Oh, we were FaceTiming him. I saw his Wikipedia and I was like, oh my God, he has a Wikipedia. He's got to have some money. Oh, can I please see his Wikipedia page? And he had a sexy picture where he was like in a bomber jacket and he just looked so... She liked the picture and it wasn't sexy. I looked awful in that picture. I like that picture of you. I know, it's a terrible picture I mean we we talked for seven months. I finally booked gigs over there to

Just have a reason to go I booked Oslo Amsterdam and I did on my metter was awesome. Yeah, and that's why I met her there and then she came to Amsterdam with me I loved Oslo had a blast in Oslo. So we started talking. Yeah, it was like literally God but you still look sexy there. No, she likes me when I'm heavier. I like when you grew your hair out a little bit too. I can't now though. I like you with the little hair.

That's terrific, but I can't, I have to go. You guys fight like a couple, it's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it is, you guys are like, you've been married for 20 years. Yes, it does feel that way. So you meet her, did you like, I mean, were you like, this is it, I'm in? Yeah, but I didn't, like again, the distance thing,

she wasn't allowed to come to the States because of some dumb ticket for pot. So we knew it was gonna be a long haul. I had no idea how many years it would take. I remember how frustrated you were. Oh, I was depressed for five years. On and off, in and out, in and out. I can't believe it was five years.

I can't, I think because of COVID kinda sucked up. That That made it worse. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I remember it was, I remember how miserable he was. He, I mean some 90 day two-year way like 90 day fiance. This was five fucking years This was a waiver for smoking weed. This is overcoming a charge of being some sort of a drug criminal You know, you're a criminal right the system it really doesn't matter It's really we had to overcome way more than I think anyone can ever manage. But at the end of the day, it made us a better couple because like we- I don't think we would be together if we didn't have that struggle. Right, because we wound up being forced to get to know each other. We would FaceTime every night, but we weren't having sex or seeing each other because she

was in another country. So you're forced to just know somebody. And like, do I want to talk to this person? FaceTimeing was hard. And we would talk every night. Of course it was hard, yeah. I went to school in Norway and this would talk every night. Facetime was hard. Of course it was hard, yeah. I went to school in Norway, and this man in America, hello, he's Facetiming me all manic

when it's like 12 midnight at my place, and he's like all riled up and I wanna go to bed. The time difference was crazy. He already talked me at 1 a.m. Jim, what are you doing? Now you're getting them back with your fucking techno music. Yes, much more bass. And I don't, by the way, I like the slutty clothes.

Don't get me wrong. I just, at 11.30 at night when I have to sleep, I'm just like, I gotta go to bed. Yes. But you, but like you are, dude, look, we're both in that age bracket. Yeah. Are you the same age?

He's a little older than me, not too much, but I'm 53. You look amazing. Thank you so much. You have the most perfect skin. Thank you so much. And when I first met you, you just now, I'm not saying you didn't look good before, but you look like a new person and amazing.

Oh, you came at Thanksgiving when I was 360, 350. Oh yeah. I, it's so- That's not even that long ago. Are you an ascetic? Two years. Huh? No, no. I got a stomach surgery. Oh my god. Yes. You look amazing. Thank you so much. I would have thought you were an ascetic because you look that good. Yeah. I, Yeah, I got the baby stomach surgery. Like it? Almost two years ago. It saved my life. I lost 140 pounds, I think.

It's crazy, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, it's just a- Don't you feel happy and re-energized in the world? The best part of it is that I can play with my kid. That's the best part of it. That's so sweet. I can now hang out with him.

I can, there was times where I, I mean it's sad. I mean I have jokes when I act about it, but going to amusement parks. I mean, I remember at Hershey Park, going on the roller coaster and they have, oh it's so humiliating. They have a Fatso chair. They have a regular, they have the roller coaster chair. So there's the line and then there's a fatso chair. They have a regular, they have the roller coaster chair.

So there's the line, and then there's this fatso chair. You have to get in it and then see if you can click the thing. And you have to, and I hurt myself. I was like, I saw our dude get up, couldn't click it, him and his daughter had to walk away. So I remember when I got in it, and I literally, I pulled it, it wasn't clicking, and I went, and I went.

And I was like. Because you weren't going to not do that with your son. Yeah. It hurt so bad. So you couldn't do the ride? Well, there was another time I couldn't do the ride either. The guy actually, I was in another roller coaster where we, the bar went down, I got,

and he goes, sir, you need to, I need to get another click out of this. And I was like, dude, this is fine, I'm good. He was like, look at your son. There was two feet from Max's chest and the bar. So he would have died because of my fatness. And that's happened to me on a bunch of rides. I remember one time, you know the spinny teacups?

That's my favorite ride. Well, not when you're 360 and your son's on the wrong side the physics I was on the wrong side and he was going dad Please and I was like, I'm trying and I'm literally ripping my shoulder out of it. I'm like, I'm so sorry Fun it was not he's crushing his son crushing really miss read After not after cuz he was like, ah, he was like, he was like, his rib, and he was like serious, it was not a fun thing.

But you see what I put up with, your story is like, oh I was crushing him, she goes, oh god that must be so much fun. I love it, I love it, it must be fun. Better than my wife, fake laughing. Not even laughing. Do I do that too, Jim? What?

The fake laugh. But I always call her out, like she'll do something to shut me up, I'll do something to show her, and she'll go, ha ha ha, and I stop fake laughing. I give him complimentary laughs. I don't like that,, Jim? What? The fake laugh. But I always call her out, like she'll do something to shut me up, I'll do something, she'll go, ha ha ha, I'm like stop fake laughing. I give him complimentary laughs. I don't like that, what does everyone? Ha ha ha.

Yeah, I always, it's a shitty titter, and I'm like just stop. Or like, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Yeah, I don't need it. I, well, it's almost perfect timing though, because the whole world in the last, I would say 10 years here, you know, trans is, you know, it's not as in as you think though,

like it's on the surface, people are like, they all say the right shit, but the day to day. But nobody hears the thing though. You can tell how people really feel about it. It's in everyone's mind, and it wasn't 10 fucking years ago. I mean, people forget that.

I was online all the time. People didn't talk about trans before Caitlyn Jenner was on that magazine. I swear to God forget that. I was online all the time. People didn't talk about trans before Caitlyn Jenner was on that magazine. I swear to God. But here's the thing too, Jim. You gotta look at it too. You're a comic. We fuck with any weakness you have,

we fuck with each other. You can't expect people not to be like, to see you walk in with a smoking hot trans girl, and you're Jim, and yeah, love you Jim, and you, hey, what's going on? And it's just like, what the fuck? Oh, I don't, yeah, I don't know what I mean. People fucking with, like, people being funny,

I don't care less. Like thinking that I'm a gold digger. No, I don't care about either. But no, no, I'm just saying people are not, I don't mean the joking around shit, I mean, but people, you see how people really feel by the way they respond. What do you mean?

You can just tell. You can always tell. You know what I mean? Like, if people have a problem with it. Yeah, or if they just like, eh, or if they're a little weird, you can just read it. But let's be honest though, I feel like when I'm with you and you see us,

some people will have their first thought will be sexual, sex. Because I do think when people look at me, they think of sex. I'm not saying that I'm the sex bomb, but I did what I did. That's exactly what you're saying. I did what I did, and I think me, they think of sex. I'm not saying that I'm the sex bomb, but I did what I did. That's exactly what you're saying. I did what I did, and I think people

just affiliate me with sex. Well, can I say something? It's not that. It's you're beautiful, you dress sexy. Thank you, Rob. You're so nice. So it's like when people see you, it's like any hot,

if I see anybody that walks in that comes, you know what I'm saying? But people forget that if you see my nails, like I comes, you know, you know what I'm saying? But people forget that if you see my nails like I'm a farm girl, you know what? Are you really? Yeah, I used to clean horses hooves And had my own Now Jim has one I yes he has a wife with horse cock Well, you have to spell it out. They kind of got it Does that bother you?

No. No, not that part. That is, it's like. That is big. Is it bigger than yours? Yes. I mean, she wouldn't be in the country if it wasn't. You don't hire an immigration lawyer for six.

I'm not saying that. No. So you wouldn't put me in the country. You wouldn't put me in the country, you wouldn't get me in the country? Oh, I mean, look, no, it doesn't bother me. Oh, that's good. Does his bother you? No.

You go wah, wah. It was weird with uncut, I mean with cut, but. Oh, really? Yeah, she'd never been with a cut guy. Oh really? See the other way is weird to me. Yeah. You know?

I can imagine that, yeah. Yeah, like we had to make that decision with Max. Where, you know, it was so funny because they just take the kid out. Did they do it when you were born here? Yeah. Well what they do is they just come in and go we'll be right back.

So they just did it. Right. And we were like, all right, fuck it. Because we were like, should we, should we, no, no, we. And then the doctor came back, okay, he's all done. And we're like, oh, thank God. And everything was fine. Everything was fine, everything was good.

That's all that matters. He's gonna have a bigger piece than me, though. Oh, good for him, good for Max. Yeah, why? Good for, the bigger the penis, the better your life is. No one with a big dick has a bad life. Yes. You always got that going for you.

I just don't want him to tell me one day, be like, Dad, you'll be pissing in the woods hunting. Look at that little thing. He'll yell at you when he wants to use the car and you won't let him. You want to just fucking sit there with your small dick, Dad. But being tall and knowing that I have a big cock, I do feel like that I have some sort of a power move. Like I can say to the average guy, I have a big cock, I do feel like that I have some sort of a power move. Like I can say to the average guy,

I have a bigger dick than you. Does it really matter? Anything you say to me? No, and that is what a guy wants to hear from his wife in the mall. When you're arguing with a clerk. That's what I want to hear from some guy's wife in the mall. That's a good one.

Do you hear what she just said? I do feel like I have that. Do you, is it, do you, do you just go anywhere? Do you, I mean, do you guys just go anywhere out? I mean, no, just fuck it, right? Yeah, no one's, yeah, I don't care. Are you afraid to go to certain cities? No, he has held me in my hands every single country.

We've been to 10 countries. He's held my hand in every country. Yeah, I mean. He's a very dirty comic, but he's very sweetheart. We are, I'm not necessarily worried about, but'm aware like cuz I'm not naive like I would never go to the Middle East Like I would love to go to Dubai, but I'll never most of those guys We were in there guys we talked to Bailey J. And it was like mm-hmm She's a guy there's a bunch of those sheiks they do, but it's the immigrant. It's getting into the country

I'm worried about or the religious police or so. I'm not supporting that shit. I want to go see the Burj Khalifa, but now I can't go anywhere that's not safe for her. I, and I've said this to all everyone that I know and if you have a problem with it fine. I will never travel to Middle Eastern country because if you look on Wikipedia and you look at the LGBT summary for the Middle East most parts of it where it's Islam, everything is illegal. So even if I can be fined, like you can tell me that, but why the fuck would I want to go where the government can imprison me for being what? Who I am?

Right. Yeah, it's not worth the chance. And I'm going to be the conservative for saying that I wouldn't want to travel to the Middle East. I've had gay people tell me, because I said something like, Palestine, like why are you rooting for Palestine if they would kill you? You know what I mean? Right. And I feel like they attack me if I said something like Palestine like why are you rooting for Palestine if they would kill you you know what I mean Right and I feel like they attack me if I say that little do they realize they don't support you and would kill you right Yeah, so I feel like that makes sense right yeah, so I won't go anyplace like that. Yeah, all right I get you. I'm actually very liberal and hippie you are I'm a hippie really no war

No war Just in Jim's mouth I mean I'm a hippie. You are? I'm a hippie. Really? You're not? No war. No war. Just in Jim's mouth. I mean, it's not even a war. No, it's a tsunami. Well, I'd say we'll do more addict jokes. You know what I don't understand is when Jim delivers a joke, sometimes it'll get a laugh,

but if I do, it doesn't always, but it's funny. I liked it. Because you're awkward. I did too. Yes. She's it's funny. I liked it. Because you're awkward. I did too. She's a little awkward. You don't sound like you're from Norway either. You sound like you're from Long Island. Oh my God, so many people have been telling me

I have a New York accent. You do. Do I really? You do. I don't think I do. She likes you, I don't think, she sounds Norwegian. I can't believe that so many people say I sound like I'm from New York.

I mean, but like. I think they forget that I'm not maybe I think it's because That I'm foreign that that you it might be I don't know what it is But you sound like once in a while you get a little yentery Yes, you know I got my money You know like a little Long Island, yeah, yeah like Jim because I Feel like my English has evolved.

Yeah, I think your English is great. Thank you. I think it's great. I think it's fantastic. Yeah, I forget sometimes it's not our native language until here talking in Norwegian. And a lot of people. Can you talk Norwegian to me right now? I'm speaking Norwegian.

Yeah, no, no, I know. But what did you say? Yeah, I bring in Norwegian to New York. Saying I'm bringing Norway to New York. That's a great language. It's not though. Her and her father, I think they're screaming at each other. I think they're screaming at each other. I think they're screaming at each other. I think they're screaming at each other. I think they're screaming at each other. I think they, no, I know. But what did you say? Yeah, I bring in Norrige till New York, saying I'm bringing Norway to New York. That's a great language. It's not though her and her

father, I think they're screaming at each other. She's like, no, we're having a great chat. It's very hard. It's very clipped. Now you've been there. You've been to Norway a few times. Yeah. Her family likes me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I finally met her. Like I met her dad and her mom and her stepmom. They weren't, I don't her like I met her dad and her mom and her step mom. They weren't, I don't mean to be insulting. They weren't disappointed. I mean, this is why I love you too. This is why I love you.

When I found out you hate Chip. I hate Chip. Listen to me. Can we talk for a second? I fucking hate Chip. I fucking hate Chip. I cannot stand him. He fucking stinks. And you know why I love that you came into his hate you. I cannot stand him. He fucking stinks

I know I love that you came into his life because no more chip you killed chip. No, she didn't make shut up people You know shut up. I Wish I couldn't kill him. What about Doug? I do not like Doug. Doug is a douche I hate Doug. Oh, I hate dog, but I like him more than chip though. Chip is just annoying Look, I take it always wants to tickle my balls or do something stupid. Or like, toot on my pecker. Like, no thank you. I think I like Chip now.

I'm like, I'm crazy about Chip. God damn it, let me kiss it. Yeah, I hate that. And sometimes he'll speak into the microphone as Chip. Wait a minute. She hates that. What do you mean the microphone? Yeah. My car? Yeah. You used Chip to do it. Wait a minute. What do you mean the microphone? Yeah. My call? Yeah. And I live with Chip for two years. I like that Chip. She filmed all the stuff in the pandemic that we did for Chip. She filmed the whole Chip movie.

Horror movie. And she was in it by the way. Were you having second thoughts? Maybe I should go back to Norway. Yes, because Jim is a perfectionist and he wanted everything in that to be so perfect. And this was a real shoot. This was not me. Silly like so many fans. Well, he had his film crew, the director and a really professional camera. Right. No, no. It was just us two in the pandemic. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Asshole.

I'm just torturing this girl like you're fucking squasazi. But she was in the movie. I got her in the movie. I spoke to Chip. I did a voice. Oh, God. She did the voice of the, there was a woman called ELFH, Evil Lady from Hell. I wish that horror movie ended with Chip being murdered, but you were really killing him.

Are we able to see that for a minute? I'll show you Nikki's part. Yeah, bring up, bring up Chip's horror movie. Prepare to be scared, boys. Yes. Can I just say something. The fact that Chip hasn't been around. Do you like it?

I love it, and I love that you replaced it. You were the only one that could do it because his fans kept it going. I would go to shows and there'd be a Chip shirt. And then I'd look and there'd be a Doug shirt. And they'd be looking at me like this, looking at me like, because they know how much I hate it and I haven't hide a hair of that piece of shit.

I hate them, we should get shirts. But I was doing Chip while you were here for a year and I just got bored with it, but now all this Chip talk. I wouldn't tell Jim to talk to us. No, no, no, no, do Chip again. Is making me. I'll show you where to go, hold on,

I'll show you where to go, we'll show you Nikki's part. I mean, this is, again, a frightening, zip into about halfway a little bit. Don't ever say zip in. You're right. You're not a film guy. Yeah, yeah. Hey, can you, is it, six ticks into the,

could you buzz in there a little bit further? Oh, I'm gonna throw up. A little further. That was her, right? No, no, no, she's not. I'm getting like, Oh, go back, go back, sorry, sorry, sorry. Keep going back. Right? No, no, no, she's not. I'm getting like fucked. Oh, go back, go back. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Keep going back. Right? No, she is not there. Right there. What is that? Wait, that's the evil lady from hell. ELFH. Wait.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Go ahead, hit play. If you want to be scared. This way I shall. What? Wait. So stupid.

ELFH. ELFH. Wow. What? Wait. So stupid. L.F.H. E.L.F.H. Oh, was that the same sign or a different sign? It's a different sign. They're in the hotel room.

We shot this in a Ritz in Toronto. I shot this. This was at a Ritz? Yeah. It's very frightening. Oh! I'm so embarrassed why your parts coming up I understand everything you understand nothing humiliate I know You don't understand film, writing.

Spirit. ELFH. I understand. You don't understand what an asshole you're being. I know who haunts me. Evil lady from hell. Evil lady. That was Nikki's big part.

Will you answer my questions, fair maiden from the underworld? And this was before we were public. It was like a little Easter egg for you guys. Yeah, evil lady. Evil lady from hell. Evil lady! No, no, commit to it. Come on, no, do it.

Come on, it's good. I would rather be in the pig pen at FistFest. We got our FistFest hoodie. We're going to show at FistFest. We're going to FistFest in New York. Oh no. Oh shit, Knuckles McGillicuddy. But here's the thing with the, because it's good, here's the thing with the sex thing, right?

You want to know, and I went through this like with Bailey and Matt, who are good friends of mine. Bailey and Matt. Yeah, me and Matt, I love May. He's one of my closest friends. She was one of the absolute first trans girls that I ever saw. So think about time, right?

Like you guys would probably look at me and her as the same age or whatever. She's probably the first, cause I remember when she was on the forums way back or being posted around online. She was one of the OGs. Yeah. Bailey J. She looks amazing. She's one of the first girls I ever saw. Yeah. Her husband, Matt is the greatest guy. I talked to him. He called me today. We talk all

the time. He's one of my great friends. I love him. But you know, people always ask me this. I always get, and I don't care. You know, I don't want to know either, because it's none of my business. Does he fuck her, does she fuck him? Does he get fucked in the, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't ask, I don't ask my other,

I don't ask Mike Kalta, does your wife eat your ass? I don't, that's none of my fucking business. It's his wife. So it's like. But I think of it this way, that's none of my fucking business. It's his wife. So it's like. But I think of it this way, there's two holes. So I'm assuming both are being used eventually. Like at least once. Yeah, I'm assuming a two car garage.

One of the, when I was talking about, I was talking about like questioning things one day with you. And you said, you know, you don't know nothing about questioning things like until you have your legs wrapped around your wife's bum and pushing her cock into your ass. That's why in a really emotional moment. It was an emotional moment. I was really emotional. I was like, makes sense, Jim.

But is it rude to ask someone if they do? Cause I don't care. Like I'll ask anyone, is it rude? You shouldn't ask questions like that. Like if you have anal sex. Married couples I think yes I think married couples But if you know them? Doesn't matter No I mean you could ask Don but I could ask him

I would be comfortable asking Don Yeah go ahead I don't ask people My wife's can I say something? Never seen my wife's asshole Really? Never seen Doll's butt hole I'm sitting next to her

Why not? You just never did? The fastest guy? No, I just, I don't know, she's never been into it. And I've never broached the, you know what I mean? I'm sure, I'm afraid at this point where I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna do this. You're like, I've been waiting fucking 30 years, you fucking get in there.

Fuck it, I'm gonna fuck you too. Like, I'm like, what if I open up Pandora's box? He'll love it. Jim's mouth. I liked it, I liked it. Your mouth is Pandora's box. I understood. Your cheeks are blushing.

I hate Chip, so I'm so glad you killed him. She did? No. He's gone. But not because of her. A lot of people think that I stripped him off and they're like, oh, we wouldn't have Chip back. But I never removed him entirely.

I just don't like the man. Yeah, well what's to like? Nothing. He's fun? He's not funny. Sure he is. He's not funny. I really hate Chip.

It's annoying. It is. My parents were like, grossed out. My son, when she sees Jim, she goes, ah, Chippa. Yeah. He goes, Chippa, when's Chippa coming over? He does have real fans. He does have real, where you going?

Just to show you. Chip? I'm sure you have me. What? What is it? Oh, wow. Oh, no, I didn't get them. You should.

I didn't get them. They're the same price. I know, those are the Ray-Ban. Facebook glasses, right? Yeah. Yeah. But we make a little two. No. No, I told you I want the sunglasses once. Um, but I need the wig. Why do you need the wig? For what? Because that chips. No, I can't. You kind of look chippish. I can fucking talk to you like this. Quit telling everybody's peck a sucker. God damn it, bae.

I hate it. I'm filming you. I don't want you to fuck. Piece of garbage. I hate him. Have you known Chip for a long time? I've known him his whole shit life. Right into the light we look.

God damn it, it's like the sun, babe. Yes. Here's the problem with it. He, it's like the sun, babe. Here's the problem with it. He has me on his show because I hate him. And people are like, do you really hate Chip? Yes. I don't like him. I told him, I go, no Chip.

Like we had a party. I'm like, no Chip. Chip can't make an appearance. You really didn't like Belle? Bug Del? I fucking hate Buggy Del. I don't think people understand what it's like to live with Jim Norton because he does characters with me at home every day.

I was there when they started. You understand? I knew Jim Norton as just the comic. Just the comic. And we would go get coffee at Starbucks every day and we lived in that building. And all of a sudden he started coming back with his, ah, you know, I need a mug. I don't like a mug. And he started doing these things, I'm like, what? Now, mind you, we're talking normal for years, all of a sudden we're walking, eh, I don't need a mug, I'm not a mug guy, I like a mug. And he started doing it, I'm like, what are you doing?

And it just gets worse. And then it started becoming a thing, and then it became a character. But they were there before you, like, I mean, not Chip developed over the years. Yeah, in here your whole life. No, no, no, no, no, no. In the 90s, Roger Davis, who eventually turned into Chip,

Roger Davis. Who's Roger Davis? He was years ago, RD, and he had a thing, and he had a brother, Stewie, and another brother, I think named Chet, who was burned all over his body except below the knees, so he always wore knickers to show off his unburned legs in the bottom. Or Roger Davis.

You know, if this was the 50s, he'd be put in a home. There was also, if he mentioned this to anybody, he'd be fucking strapped up, gone. Edgar was little mouth man. His tongue strapped. Uh, uh. Little mouth man became Edgar, like little mouth man. This is from like when I was 22, 23,

so I remember the girl I dated at the time when I was going, I like little mouth man. And it was the dirty uncle, all this from the early 90s. How could she like that? It's sexy and fun. Lunatics, that's why. She's a mental patient. Shit dip.

That's Edgar. Yeah, I hate Edgar's little baby fingernails. He does characters every day. But the one she hates the most no one has ever seen. I just, cause I can't do it. Romesh. Who was it?'t do it. Ramesh. Who was it? Ramesh.

I fucking hate Ramesh. What is Ramesh? And the only reason why he does this character is because I hate him. More than Chip and all the other characters. What is Ramesh? I don't like asking. It's some dude and he pulls his pants up and he's looking like this. What is that?

I know. And he'll just stare at me and poke me and try to dance to the techno music It's really I'll see if I have a picture of them to show you But it really does yeah and upset her only do it because it only do it and that's why that sets me even more Very sick of your fucking characters. I'm so with you. I'm sick of your fucking characters, too Oh look at your man hard to live with Jim. It's Jim. It's not easy. I think you're a delight. Yes, I do actually. Stupid question. Of course you do. No one thinks they're not a delight.

Of course you do. We had a fight yesterday because they didn't take my picture. Did you get into a fight? I got really annoyed and I'm like, how dare you not take my picture? When was it? Oh, that's Ramesh. Yes. Can you send that? We put that in the show.

Can you send that to my guy? I'll send you the picture, not the audio. And I deal with him every day. Why did you... When did you want him to take your picture? Because I did my makeup for two hours yesterday and I spent time looking great. I knew I looked great. And I'm like, Jim, just take my picture.

And he has a problem with it. You should literally be up from that sofa in a second don't like my picture. I like your hands Why don't she does it she gets mad at me cuz I gesture but then she gestures all the time She hates when I gesture you should just take my picture. Yeah What did you just go She's like. And when I cook in the kitchen. You cook?

Yeah. You use the oven in his house? Yes. No way. I do. This motherfucker, I was getting nervous. I love Jim. He would always come to our house and stuff.

But I'm like, Jim's such a great guy. He's fucking one of the best comedians. He's a great actor. He's got a great job. I was like, he's got this amazing apartment. And you go to his house for a party, and it's all delivered. It's like nothing.

And then, I remember he learned to take the subway at like 54. And he's like, oh dude, the subway's quick. Well I- You never took the subway before? You never told me that. I've been taking it for a couple of days. Because he's been trying to tell me to not spend so much money on black Ubers.

I didn't know you. I said get regular Ubers. No, I just did not let her take the subway. No. No, not the subway. No, I'm not saying to get the subway. I said get a regular Uber, but you see how she plays the poor card? And he wants me to take the subway.

No I don't. I said just take regular Ubers. Yeah, but you started taking the subway like four years ago. I didn't know that. No, I've been taking it for a while. I used to take it it from Upper West Side, but yeah, I didn't take it for years I was just taking it to the cellar one night. It was like, you know, it's really fat The subways in New York are fast and we're all like yeah, dude We've been here for 30 years

Like I know he says it to us like we're gonna go is it What is the subway? I grew up riding the sandwich shop? I grew up riding polo horses. So for me to take a... And you row them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jim will never leave me. No, he can't. Yeah, when I'm in the kitchen, that's when he'll talk to me. What do you cook? Oh, I make eggs. Yesterday I made eggs, rotisserie chicken, broccoli, and there's this- Did you, wait a minute, stop.

Did you make the rotisserie chicken? No, she bought it and he made it. Here's the thing. She's lying. Here's the thing, I can cook any meat, but I have a weird thing with chicken. I don't like chicken, so I will never ever prepare raw chicken.

I'll always order it to be a rotisserie, and even if it's already hot, I'll put it back in the oven. I'm weird with chicken. We do have that, what's that thing Jonathan gave us, that oven we have to use? Air fryer. The air fryer, we have one, we should use it. But our Gagnon oven is amazing.

It has a cook oven, you can bake it. I love that he brings up air fryer. And he still has the plastic. That was popular, it became popular 10 years ago. I know we haven't used it. She cooks that one Norwegian slop you make, which I don't like. It's thanks. It's not. She thinks it's great. It's not. My grandmother always used to make me. It's like old traditional Norwegian dish. What is it? What is it made of?

It's cabbage stew. Love it. Potatoes. No, love it. Bacon, but this thing. What is it made of? It's cabbage stew. Love it. Potatoes. No, love it. Bacon, but this thing. What's wrong with that? And then when the bacon cooks you put all the fat over the whole dish in the whole and the cabbage stew I make it from the bottom. It's really good. Oh, well you guys come over. Will you make that? Yeah, but he I don't cook for him so much because he has no sauces and no butter. It's very boring eating with him Jim Norton. If there's no butter in it. Tell me if this, if this, tell me if this, uh, can I get, uh, the cod with nothing? Nothing?

I know. Just no, no butter, no salt, nothing on it. And I'd like to get asparagus again, nothing on the side. Uh, thank you. And then he'll get his food and you'll get steak and blah, blah, blah. And he'll be like this. Let me try a little bit of that. Let me try a little bit.

And then you get the dirt. Let me try a little bit. Ten out of ten, you're so right. And then he'll eat like, he'll eat a whole other meal, but he'll make you feel like he's, oh, I'm eating so clean, no butter, not even salt. But you had half a mine. Yes.

You ate half a mine. Very kind of half a mine. You ate half a mine. It's not a compliment. You're acting like you're fucking not. You're eating. You're saying I'm eating really healthy and I know how to have fun with my friends. That's a great compliment. No, you're eating two meals. How are you eating only so healthy and cod with no butter and egg yolks all the time but your stomach is still a little.

You tell me you're fat all the time. Well because I'm not eating healthy. You have been. No, I haven't been. You lost weight. I lost weight, but I put my back on because she brings home candy. Jim is body, just not feel body confident right now,

but I tell him he looks amazing. I've never told him to change. No, she wants- Don't you agree, Bobby? He needs a little weight. No, she wants me to have a fucking stroke so she can do what she wants in the apartment. Like if I fucking drop dead,

it'll be all these fucking fruity but like she's gonna push enter on a computer and only fans is gonna come up in the brand new studio Marilyn fucking Monroe pictures on my kiss shit will be in the closet Miami Vice posters what'd you say I would do do OnlyFans for free. Why? Well, I know. I take that back because I want the money. Do you, are you, like my wife's a stay at home wife. Are you gonna just stay at home or is this something you wanna do?

That's what I've been doing. I don't think people understand that that's me for the last seven years. Yeah. Literally. That's yours. I went to Canada, I didn't have any friends. Why are people calling you a gold digger? You're that's yours. I went to Canada. I didn't mean I didn't have any friends Why are people calling you a gold digger? You're somebody's wife think the looks and that I'm foreign and you know

Yeah, that I probably did porn or webcam whatever you want to call it. Yeah, they don't understand the dynamic I get why people say it it's not offensive is just younger than Jim obvious sure Huge age difference and I think Jim is so open that he obviously likes me as his wife based on a lot of, you know, the sex part of it is a very big deal. He wouldn't date me if I had gotten my cock removed. That's not true. Of course it's true. You just shocked me.

Oh please. I'd send you an IG message. Hope you're well. Maybe someday you'll get over to the US. But no, it's a... Well, look at man, when you, when you, when you're, when you're, when you're, when you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship,

you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship, you're well. Hope you're well. Maybe someday you'll get over to the US. But no, it's a... Well, look at, man, when you are going, when you are attracted to transgendered women, you don't, you know, you don't wanna, that's part of it, is you like, you know,

and people, is it gay? It's another thing. It's not straight. I mean, it's just penis. It can't be. I mean, it's just penis. It can't be. And maybe it's because I am who I am, and I'm big and statuesque or whatever, but every single guy that I've been with, even if they think they just want to fuck me, it all ends up with my cock.

Every one of them. Like 99% of them. No, 100% actually. I don't even look at it. They all want to suck. I was talking to Bailey J about that. She's like, when I'm on, she's like, when she, I was like, do you want to be treated like a woman or do you want to, you know, do you like cock?

And she's like, well, uh, and I hope I get this right. She was like, when I'm on my hormones, I want to be fucked. Yeah. But if I go off, she's like, if I'm off my hormones, I turn into a,*** it. She goes, I just blow old Uber guys, old old Cubans. She is a trooper. That's so funny because yesterday I was thinking if I should go to my endocrinologist and up my estrogen dose

because she told me last year was a little low. And then I was also, that's a great reference by Bailey J. I also want to feel like a little f*** sometimes. Because I notice, I've been watching myself on the podcast and I'm like, Oh, that's a little testosterone there. So I get that ref great reference Bailey J. So, so, but you're going to, you're going to, is there anything you want to do? Is there any, you know what?

I feel so great in my own skin. No, but like a job. Like, do you have any, like he's a standup. He wants, no, I'm a traditional housewife. I don't want a job. No, but like a job. Like, do you have any, like he's a standup. He wants, I know you want to act. I don't want a job. Never, never want a job. She wants to be, can you imagine me having a job here in New York? Yes.

Cashier. No, unless this is something creative where I can wander around and do something that maybe he does. Yeah, but is that, that's what I mean. But is there anything you're looking like acting or I have to see wherever this writing or whatever we're doing with Jim goes, because we're kind of doing it unified and whatever I have to do or wanting to do. All that money gets split.

I'm very happy in life. Anything we make on the podcast or all that stuff, all that would be split. Just like one. Nothing yet. $800, that's not that much. Just to start. Well, I remember when me and Jay,

we first saw the, it was more of a vlog you were doing. That was the very beginning, yeah, yeah. Very beginning, which I loved. I just thought it was, I remember telling Dawn, I went home, I gotta watch this, Jim and Nikki are doing a vlog, and it was so compelling, it was so interesting, and I loved that it was on YouTube,

and I was like, this has gotta be a show. Because there's so many of these type of documentary, docu-series that are out there with these. I mean, it's just not, it's a quick. And so many people say that I want to be like a celebrity and this and that, and thank you that they say that I'm good on social media, I appreciate that. But this was Jim's idea.

I never pushed to be on YouTube. As a matter of fact, I pushed against it. I didn't want to be on YouTube. I felt like this was very invasive of my life I didn't want that angle of me or that shot and eventually I just said you know what fuck it put up whatever I don't care but this was not in my mind at all because that showed that you to me that this is real these guys are a couple I could tell by your little arguments,

by the way you talk to each other. I'm like, me and my wife, we relate to that. We were both like, this is great. This is a, you know, I immediately was like, Jim, you gotta do this. Someone's gotta buy this. You gotta sell this because I think it's an important thing too that we don't, when you think of transgendered,

you would think of a sex industry, right? And then it became politically woke, progressive, where it was like whatever, a swimmer, and I think we need to see transgendered couples. Relationships. We need a relationship where it's like, look man, will you just, this is just a couple. This is a dude from Jersey, rock and roll, hangs out, one of the fastest, funniest guys

walking the earth, everybody knows Jim, and this is his wife, Nikki, and she's transgendered, and the fact that you guys, your relationship at home, I mean the kiss poster thing, I mean when you took the poster off and you replaced it with a You replace it with a kiss poster and she's like what the fuck that is life. That's a that's a relationship Yeah, and I think it was I thought it was like someone someone should buy that By the way, we are doing vlog stuff, too

The reason is we're just getting the podcast up and going. We have so much footage shot that we want to edit and stuff. But I feel really lucky, Jim, that I landed you, so to say, that I even got the opportunity to have a husband in my life and someone who is as nice as Jim. Never imagine it. And people forget that. I feel really lucky. What about a dog or a kid or adding to the family? No, I've been telling Jim for the last days that I want a new iPhone, I want the dog.

You didn't get a fucking new iPhone? Listen, I want the new furniture. I know it's a great apartment and I'm not going to be the complaining cunt, but I want to have it to be cozy. If enough could be in this room, I could make it look cozy. And it's not cozy, this apartment. It's posters fucking everywhere. He's a fucking hoarder.

The closet, I can't even get my long dresses down because it's fucking stacked. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, I love you. And this is for months, Jim. Listen, Jim, I love you. It's for months you keep it this way. I love you so much. I hate it.

But here's the thing. Be right back. And I, I love, I love you. And I don't want to gang up on you. Cool. But appreciate that. Can't we just have a cozy apartment? We were at, I'm gonna say something right now.

It's terrible. I like to rock and roll. You're just lacy, man. I'm a rock and roller. We went to UFC 100. Jim didn't really know the UFC that much. They came in, it was at the beginning of it, and they invited Jim there, Jim was so nice enough to take me. Big event, I'm at the beginning of it, and they invited Jim there,

Jim was so nice enough to take me. Big event, I'm a big fan of UFC. I knew all the fighters, I've been following it since one. We interviewed Pat Barry, we interviewed JDS. Yeah, 10 years ago. Like these are guys, Jim didn't even know who was who, what was what. How long ago is this?

This is years ago. I knew some of the, I didn't know all the, I didn't know the, like I knew who Pat Barry was. He knew nobody. No, no, I knew who JDS was, I knew a bunch of them, but some of the right near I knew. He didn't know anybody. That's not true.

He knew a couple, but not, not like, I was, you know. You were a big fan of the UFC. I was a big fan of the UFC. He was a lesser fan, let's put it that way. But somebody had a glove, that's why you're a hoarder. Some, and this is why he, it's a thing. Somebody had a glove. That's why you're a hoarder. And this is why he had, it's a thing. Somebody had a glove. The fighter's gloves that they signed.

And he saw that and he went like this. And he went and bought 35 pairs of gloves. And he made me go ask fighters, or he would go ask, because he didn't know who they were. He'd be like, who's that? Should I get him to sign of love and I'd be like, you don't even know who he is But yes, that's machida. Thank you. The champion literally but that's true quantity Lightbulbs he bought fucking 30 of them scrubs to wash the sink 40 of them

You bought 35 pairs of why would you listen piss my pants go ahead? Why would you listen to that lie that I bought a bunch of light bulbs? You didn't buy 30 things? No. She's lying. She just says things. What? I mean, I gotta agree with that.

I mean, my wife says shit. She'll say anything in the moment. Yeah. Like if we were kidnapped, do you know how fast she would say anything to get out of there and leave me alone? She just says things. She would not leave you. Yeah, no, I do hoard though, but not- and then you get out of there and leave me alone. She just says things. She would not leave you.

Yeah, no, I do hoard though, but not not. You are, man, when it comes to fan shit. Yeah. When it comes to, I'm not autographs anymore, I don't get anything. Posts, dude, you, it's a problem. Like, posters and memorabilia. Yeah.

It's like a, it's like, and it's just all over the place like I know we went to your house We're all mad at you went to your house You didn't have any photos of us, but you had photos of people you didn't know take a poll of all the audience Who would you rather display Bob's picture or a glove signed by Ali? I? Mean you got a point And a Muhammad Ali glove that I got him to sign. Yeah, but it was like going to a museum.

Thank you. When you went to your house. Well, you're welcome. I had to see it for free, I didn't even charge you. I've never stayed at yours. No, no one stays at my house. We live, Clive, I haven't stayed at yours either. That's weird, right?

No, we, what are we, 15? I drive home. I went to yours a couple of times. Yeah, you've been to my house, you're always welcome. I've been to yours many. But we don't sleep over, I just drive home. It is. We live in the same building. Hey, do you want to sleep over? I'm gonna get in the elevator and go 17 floors to my apartment. I know. Yeah. Um, well, I think that like that

show, welcome back. Nikki's back. Um, the apartment has to change. Just be a little more. Yes, I can think of one change that would make the apartment a lot nicer. I want new furniture and just cosiness. Buddy, when I moved in with Dawn, I had a poster. I love your place. I had a poster of, I think it was Bruce Lee. She threw it out. Yeah.

Clothes she doesn't like that I wear, she shrinks them. Just puts them in the... I love Dawn. I'm at the point now where I'm thinking the same thing. Yeah, she shrinks, like I'll come, where's my, where's my WrestleMania shirt? And I'll go to put it on and my belly button's sticking out. Would you shrink it?

And she's like, no, and she just starts laughing. Nothing on the wall is mine. Nothing, couch, no decoration. I've added nothing. I had to buy, this is how fucked up it is. I had to buy a shed. There's a shed in the backyard. That's my, she goes, she walked in,

she goes, you can put all this shit. She takes all my stuff and just tucks it in the shed. By the way, not one picture of me in the shed. Yeah, there is. No, there's not. 100% there is. Where? It's not facing cameras, it's facing me. You, Patrice, Manny.

Spongebob show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're hoping I wind up with those guys soon. No, sir, I don't want you to at all. He doesn't even have photos of his family. I do, I do so. I do too.

I have a picture of you, I have a picture of you, I have a picture of you kneeling down in front of a hooker in Brazil while Patrice was teaching you vibrate. Oh yeah. I have that picture too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have that.

Did Patrice also have fun in Brazil? Oh yeah, of course he did. Have you been to Brazil? Went together, yep. I have to piss too. Yeah, go piss. Yeah, I went to Brazil. I've always wanted to go to Brazil. We had a such a good time. We had a really good time. I think I would love Brazil. We had a good

time. I gotta kind of, because I'm married now, I gotta kind of chill out on the... Of course. But we had a good time in Brazil. This was like 10 years ago? More. 20? More. Oh my god, really? I don't know. I don't know. My wife doesn't listen to stuff, but God forbid. No, we weren't married. We weren know my wife doesn't listen to stuff, but god forbid no I we weren't married. We weren't married. He died. I think ten years ago, right? How when did Patrice die so I would have never met him no, but he would have loved you I hope so he would have loved you I remember one time I dated a girl I have there was this beautiful girl that worked over at

The Boston Comedy Club. 2011. 2011. Wow. How, wow. I was like 16 then, in high school. Jesus Christ. When he died.

That's over 10 years. You think he would like me? He would have loved you. I think he would like me. He would have made fun of Norton. Yeah. Patrice. He would have made fun of you.

Sure. But in a joking way. No, he would have loved you. He would have asked the most. He seems very have loved you. He would have asked the most. He seems very huggable. He would have asked questions that were offensive. You know what I mean? He would have asked, you know what I mean?

He asked. Jim told me he likes fish, aquarium. What type of a weird, inserted. I thought you meant pussy. No. I didn't know what fish meant. You're saying something about what he liked, and you just jump in, I heard he likes fish. No, I thought that was what fish he was saying. He was saying something that we liked it. You just jump in.

I heard he likes fish. No, I thought that was a very nice quality of Petrie's that he liked little aquarium, aquatic life. That's a sign of being relaxed person in the mind and state of body. There are that almost dying every day and you need something to calm you down. Yeah.

Instead of a steak and cheese and a pizza, the you-hoo. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wait, what do you mean he would go with the glass dildos? He'd bring, not glass dildos, he'd bring vibrators. Yeah, he had glass ones too. And glass dildos. He liked to put them in? Expensive. Yeah, because I don't know if he couldn't fuck or didn't want to fuck.

He would get hookers and make them come. Well, it's probably if it aids, it'll only get on the dildo. Maybe that's why the dildos were glass. I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud. What did you say? Maybe he'm just thinking out loud. So, you know, what did you say? He didn't hear you. I didn't get it. Maybe he would just so the AIDS or HIV wouldn't get on him. It would go on the dildo so he could still play and have fun by inserting. I mean, maybe, no, we didn't care. But maybe that's why there were glass. None of us cared about AIDS. Yeah. No, no, no. We didn't

get about AIDS. Yeah. We looked up, we Googled AIDS before we went and Yeah, no, not at all. We didn't give a shit about AIDS. We looked up, we Googled AIDS before we went and said, ah, it's not that bad. We were like, fine, let's go. Wait, so you got them in with hookers and you never questioned that? No, I did. I wore condoms when they made me,

but there was a couple that didn't. When they made you? Yeah, there was one who was like, you're special. And I threw the condom away and made love to it. We had sex with condoms. We didn't do that. I did. He was an outlaw. No. I was reckless. Yeah, you're special. And I threw the condom away and made love to him. We had sex with condoms. We didn't do that. I did. He was an outlaw.

I was reckless. Yeah, he was reckless. And I took one swipe. I took one lizard. Oh, yeah. That was it? At the thermos, she was smoking hot. And she was like, oh, you leaky, leaky.

And I went, oh, OK. Yeah, but no, we were pretty safe there. We were safe. But, yeah, Patrice. I love Brazil. He had all these dildos. So, you know, he had a just, and he would buy, every time he would go, he would buy more dildos.

We called him Dr. Dildo. So I was talking to Patrice's mom. Did I ever tell you this story? I don't know. So I'm talking to his mom, and she's so funny. She's like, I'm like, do you ever have any of Patrice's stuff, like what did you do with all his stuff? She's like, Bobby, it's a funny thing.

You know, when he died I called up Vaughn and I said, sweetie, all his stuff is in the storage unit. You can have whatever you want, just go down and get it. And you know, the only thing she wanted, there was a suitcase full of dildos. And that's all she wanted. I go, what? She goes, yeah, there was a James Bond looking metal

suitcase, he had custom made, and if you opened it up there was dildos strategically placed. He was like a dildo spy. I was fucking howling. He had so many of those fucking things. Yes he did. The bag would clink. Yeah, I remember the bag clinking.

Cause he started out, he didn't have the, that's why he got the custom metal case. Oh. Like cameras. Oh really? Because he'd be, he'd have to put it on the conveyor belt, and I remember he'd hear it clink, and then he'd just stare at the TSA person,

cause it would go through the, it would go through the x-ray, and you'd see them like this, they'd be like, and he'd be like, and he'd just shrug his shoulders. He had a specialty suitcase for his dildos. This was a duffel bag. There might be a picture of it. In my first book, I had a picture of me and Patrice in the whorehouse and we were wearing robes and we were just wiped out.

I don't know if the duffel bag is visible and that might not have been, but I remember that locker room downstairs. That was a fun time. But yeah, so. How long were you there? Oh, a few days. I mean, five weeks. No, not like a week.

And you remembered. Did you ever go to trans there? No, did not. Yeah, did not. Would that have scared you? Maybe, but it would have been one of those things. I was 2003, but it's over 20 years ago. So I was quieter about things then.

I might have done it, but I honestly didn't really think to do it. I was weird. And you really didn't need it. Also, where would you have gone? Like I didn't know the areas. It's very dangerous. You gotta be careful.

Where was your first trans girl? Oh, I mean just, New Brunswick, I'm sure. Yeah, probably 18, 19. 18, 19? Did you like it? At first I didn't know what it was. Like I knew, but I didn't know that they were.

I would always feel to make sure the breasts were real. And some cop told me, they get implants. I was like, oh, I didn't know. So, so when did you... It was dumb. When did you, what was your first penis encounter with a trans girl? Oh, around that time, I think.

Good question. In that area, in that area, I think. I don't remember, actually, I don't remember. You don't remember it? No, good question. And then you, but then, like the first time, was it awful? Did she be like, you suck dick bad?

No, because I was a kid, please, you know, Monster Rain, I was a fucking old pro. Yeah, but that, oh. You learned on your friends helped you. I was a kid, yeah, it was great. I was like playing the fucking flute up and down the line. Right. But there is a dick, like it's, you know,

you consider yourself, what do you consider yourself? Gay, bi, what? I mean, you can't, I'm not gay. I believe that. Because I do like women, but you can't say straight either. It's impossible to say straight when there's a dick involved. And like, I imagine if you're with a trans woman who has a vagina, even then, it's like... Boo.

I don't know. Sorry. Yes. I don't know. It's definitely not straight. 110% not. Oh, I don't know if there's a vagina. I don't know maybe I don't know But you still have the trans identity there, but you but it depends on what you like I don't know the answer that I don't think any man who dates trans women are straight. I

Don't know about that. Well. I don't think so Yeah Yeah, there's no there's no conclusion to this fest I just, yeah, there's no conclusion to come to. FistFest, October. Oh yeah, and Sword Fight is our podcast. Yeah, Sword Fight is your podcast. It's a great name for a podcast. Thank you.

And the artwork is good. They just did some... And the artwork is self-explanatory because we get so many questions. Who has the bigger dick? Hello, I have the bigger sword. Does that bug you? No. Okay.

Did you see the... Did you see the... My saber is big. Did you see the... I didn't see the logo, no, I saw the first episode where it went from vlog into podcast. I love that by the way. We're doing that more. Yeah. I think you should do that. I've never seen a podcast do that. It goes from just hanging out. You're like, what is this crazy shit? And then all of a sudden the show is up. The background's up and it's into the show. Yeah. I like that a lot.

I really think you should keep doing the vlog. I think you should put an outline together. You should put a whole treatment together and you should go and pitch this. Get knows, but you need to do that because someone will pick this show up and I think it would be a great show for the whole, for everybody to kind of get over whatever it is and be like,

this is a great, you're a great conduit to make people, you know what I mean? Like, nobody cares, just be happy. The business though, as you know, it really is filled with people who say the right thing, but there's a lot of frauds in our business and a lot of ideological frauds in our business. Yeah. And they say they want this, but there's a lot of frauds in our business and a lot of ideological frauds in our business.

And they say they want this, and we want representation, and they don't even want to take meetings. We're not entitled to anything. Like, because she's trying, it doesn't entitle us to a show. But when somebody won't have a meeting with you, you're like, you're a fucking fraud. They won't have a meeting, really.

Some places would, no. Name it! No, I'll tell you, here's why. Shit! Only because- Would've been a viral clip! No, only because they'll just- What does it rhyme with?

Tamazon? Well, let me also say- Actually, they wouldn't, no. Amazon wouldn't meet with us, but- Really? But, you know, whatever. But they actually wouldn't, no. But yesterday, maybe it's because because you know, Jim is on Fox

Yesterday I shared like a little snippet where I'm like, oh my god My husband's on Fox News and I lost 200 followers to that. No, it's okay. I don't know. Why I don't know I don't know. I guess everyone's like hello. He's just on Fox. Does that make me people hated me for that? I think some people hated me for that, I think some people hated me for that. And I'm not a conservative trans woman, I'm just, my husband's unfucked. I wanna say the fucking left have become very religious. Do you like that? I'm from Norway, I don't know what.

We actually had a fan, that JC made a logo for you. Oh my God. Can we bring up that logo? Do you see my swerd bobby, the pink one? Yeah, and he put it like, mine is limp. Oh, yours is just a worm. Yeah. it's not a logo that we made it was Could be just bring it up

I made a fucking creative decision In the middle of the fucking pot you didn't like being corrected not that one the boat both of them the one of both Oh Viking no the one of both of them. Oh, a Viking? No, the one of both of them. Oh, he's such a, yeah, there you go. Wow. Look at that. That's beautiful. That's your face, Jim.

That's very Norwegian. Is that, oh. I didn't even notice that. Is it really? Yes. That is me. That's what your mother wanted you to get. Hold on.

You know, bumped out your mother. Show your mother that. I wish I was born female now. Bobby, you gave me gender dysphoria. Why? I'm joking. Oh, sorry. You look, that's you.

And that's him. A hot bitch. That's him with the... I love it. Is this AI? How incredible. Can they get that mug? Can someone send me that?

Cause I'm in love. I don't want the beard though. Why? Why? You're a fucking Viking. I don't want a beard. You don't have a beard anymore. I want to look like, oh my god. Can I see? There you go. What about that? Wow. Oh my goodness. Jim, you look so handsome. You look beautiful. This is such a nice surprise. This is a fat JC made these few. That's Jim. That's my god. Wow my God. I love you with a beard and a viking. No you don't. You would hate me with a beard.

I wish you were a viking. No you don't. Why? Why don't you dress like a viking? Put a viking outfit. Why? Fucking Hagar the Horrible is a douche. Nobody likes Hagar.

Who's that? First of all, nobody knows who. Stop with your smartness. That's the only viking I can think of. Nobody knows a viking. Hagar the Horrible. Nobody knows him. You read a book.

You're a smart guy. You don't know who Hagar is? No, stop with your smartness. That's the only Viking I can think of. Nobody knows a Viking. Hagar the Horrible. Nobody knows him. You read a book, you're a smart guy. You don't know who Hagar is? No. Look up Hagar the Horrible. You'll know exactly who he is.

He was a Sunday comic book, like on the Sunday Funnies in the fucking newspaper. I don't think he was a real Viking. The Sunday Funnies? How old do you think I am? I don't know. He was not a real Viking. You get the Sunday paper?

You get the coupons? Hagar the Horrible was a fucking, he was in the in the newspapers I don't remember that as an old I'm gonna claim Remember hey, why the horrible fucking oh him? Oh my god. They have cartoons in Norway Yeah, but that was a JC made those feel thank you Yeah, you on your Wikipedia dude. It says your age, but it doesn't say when you were born.

Did you know that? No. It did before. It did? When were you born? 68. 68. Yeah, it doesn't say that.

Oh, there it is. Jim Norton was born in 1968. That's so funny. 68. Yeah, it's not a big secret, but 68. I was, it's so funny this weekend, they, you know, the drag thing. First of all

Oh, I want to drag Queen drag Queen we went to they have a drag show I do Mohican sons so you do the show right after the show They have a drag show and they want you the fuck out of the dressing room I mean, it's just the way the casino So every time I do that place I would come out of the dressing room and there'd be three drag queens Just I honey angry not even oh hurry the fuck up that place, I would come out of the dressing room and there'd be three drag queens just standing there, getting angry. Hi honey. Not even. Oh.

Hurry the fuck up. Yeah. Because this is serious shit. So they gotta get dressed. You have to look like a woman tonight, Bobby. Yeah. They gotta go from their day job being a merchant marine to fucking Liza Minnelli and they gotta do it fast.

So I come out, this time I'm out there taking photos, doing pictures, and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna get my stuff. And Danny's, Bobby, and I'm like, I'm just gonna get my stuff. He's like, Bobby, and I'm walking fast. I just wanna get my bag, I wanna go. So I'm going to the tree. He's like, Bobby, Bobby, I'm like, Danny, shut the fuck.

I'm so angry, because he keeps saying my name. And I'm like, I'm going to get my bag, I'll be right back. Yeah, you're trying to see a dick under a skirt. I didn't even know they were in there. I forgot about him, so I just, he goes, Bobby, you're trying to see a dick under a skirt. I didn't even know they were in there. I forgot about them. So I just, he goes, Bobby, and I just go, shut the fuck up. I open the door and it's just some,

some guy trying to put nylons on with lipstick and eye shadow and he just looks at me, you fuck you. And I just see it and he's like, I told you. And I'm like, I'm so sorry, I apologize. That's what Jim would have said too, but he would have stood there for 20 more seconds. Yeah, sorry. Sorry.

In Montreal, there was a drag show after one of the comedy shows. Yeah, I took Max to it. Yeah. Yeah, and I got shit for that too. Oh, God. It's so funny. They're campy, they're not sexual.

Look, I wouldn't want drag queens coming in and reading bedtime stories because I feel like, you know, look, there's a certain age that you can take your son to a drag show. But if you're a Christian and you don't believe in, you believe in certain things, I respect that. You can't just make, force people to believe your ideology. I took my kid to a drag show. I don't care. You know what I mean? It doesn't matter. That's because you're going there to the venue.

Well, I've had Bailey J was at his second birthday party. His 55th. He was sitting next to Dolores, my, you know, six, eighty, seven year old neighbor who was an athlete. So he, it doesn't matter. His, he's in the world. Our neighbors across the street are gay. We spend Fourth of July with them.

Every Fourth of July, they're the best. These two guys are the best. They follow- You wanna see where they shoot the fireworks? Stop. They follow the rules of the city. So nothing, no fireworks over six feet. And there's a hose running at all times. So they can wet the city.

But, Mag, we have a good time. You know what I mean? But, like, the... The drag queens get wet? This is what my life is. I mean... This is... You know I'm thinking the makeup.

No, no, no. This is one story combined into, this is what I, this has to be a show. But this is what my life is. It's two stories off. Netflix, Amazon, whoever it is, you have to make this a show. And also on transgender inclusivity.

Hello. I saw that, I was such a states person. I mean, it really should be inclusivity, hello. I saw that was such a, what a states person. I mean it really should be a show dude. I, me and Jay were watching, we were talking about it. I, me and Dawn watched it, Max watched a little bit of it. Oh thanks. And it was so funny just knowing you and knowing you

and you guys bicker and fight but you love each other so much. Yes we do. And it's real and you can tell. Anybody who's in a relationship. That's not natural. That is natural. Put your hand. My wife, if Dawn did it, I would do it.

Do you love him? Yes. You do, right? Well, I love you too, but this was just. Just be more of a gentleman when you're taking come on She's right. You should you should open the door for me. Yeah, you should always wait to order food Until I ordered he never does that. It's like you said before I can I have the car? Here's why I do it. You should always let me order to be courteous. No, no, I do butter her bread

No, you don't butter your wife bread No, that's every time you bring the bread to the table and I taught Max this. You don't butter your wife's bread? No. Every time the bread comes to the table, and I taught Max this, you butter your mom's, I butter her bread, and I put the bread over the dog. I wouldn't butter her bread if she was in an iron lung. Ha ha ha ha! By the way, I saw a picture of him today in the Iron Man lung, and he kinda looked like you. He did not look like me. Fat and old.

Oh yeah. He's pitching Nicky. Can you put it in my bed? Yeah, no. Could you imagine other things? Great position. Yeah, but it would be a fun show, I think, and we're gonna get it done. I can't stop. Someone's gotta pick it up, dude, because I think with you and her,

you guys are such a great couple, and it's such a funny show. Thank you. Thanks, Bumpy. And I love that you guys are out there, and you're not. You've known us since day one. Because I know you put it,

you had to hide a lot of stuff. Sure. You had to hide who you were, and you had to hide everything that was going on, and that must have killed you for those years, and you two. Yes. But I saw how much it fucking burdened you, and then now I see you and the clouds have gone and the sun came out, and I don't mean to be fucking stupid

with this, but it really is, when I see you now, you're happy. You know what I mean? I am. Thank you so much, Bobby, and the reason why we didn't tell that many people, only the closest of Jim, was because if we don't know if they're gonna tell me yes or no, yeah, then what? I didn't want to go through it on the air because I don't have a big mouth and if I was I didn't want her You got them better yes, if you didn't you do now

Good luck for good. Yeah, good luck. Lookgars face. He good. It was already. Is he good at bed? Wonderful. I love my sex with Jim. Me too. Love it. We have fabulous. We're perfect for each other sexually, mentally, physically. Yeah.

Love his touch. I love his smell. Yeah. My wife. I love your wife. Oh, talk to her about my touch and smell. Well, you know, she doesn't like it. She doesn her about my touch and smell. Well, you know, she doesn't like it? She doesn't like your touch and smell?

No, dude. The one thing you're very happy about, that your wife has a penis, you'll never have to go through old vagina phase. Oh, yeah. When they just get angry for no reason. When the vag starts to die, they're just like, don't touch me. Leave me alone.

I'm hoping she gets through it quick and we can go back. Menopause, you mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Pre-menopause is worse. Yeah, I've heard. Is she on hormones? Like little?

I don't know what she's doing. She's taking stuff. I got this power fan at the house, and when I see her neck get blotchy, I just shoot it in her face. And she goes like this. I tell. I feel for her. I also

get hot flashes like insane. You do? From what? From my hormones probably. Yeah. Insane. I tell Jim feel my back. It'll be like a pool of flashes. It's a really un-fun moment. I don't like that. But it doesn't smell. It's just. No you don't smell. Do you want Jim to take testosterone? No. I don't want him to take anything. I'm very, be natural, please. That's good, good, yeah. That's great, man. Yeah. I would hate him with testosterone.

Are you, like, you're in the UFC, too. Is anybody, like, is everybody cool? Everybody's great? No one, I mean, on this, she knows Matt. We've met Matt, she came at me when I interviewed Trump. Oh, I love Matt. Do you, tell me if this is right. I feel like the right is more, has turned into the left

and the left has turned to the right. I feel like the right back in the 80s was Christian and God and the right is more tolerable now than the left is. The left, if you don't do exactly, especially, if you don't toe the line, if you don't say what you're supposed to say, if you're doing anything out of it,

they're gonna fucking write you off as something fucked up what you're supposed to say. If you're doing anything out of it, they're going to fucking write you off as something fucked up and you're bad and you're not representing right. You guys are like the most politically split place I've ever been. In Norway, even when they vote for prime minister, they have different levels. Like, we're not like left, right. I don't feel like it's that where I'm from. I mean, no one has said anything. I'm sure people have their feelings, but they've all been, I mean, Dana wrote a letter

I needed for immigration because I do work for UFC and I couldn't leave the States. And Dana was very generous and wrote a letter. He was one great guy. No one has been, like none of the fighters, I mean, I'm on social media with Nikki, none of the fighters have said anything. How they feel is one thing.

Everyone has been so nice. But no one has been shitty. How they feel is one thing. So nice. No one has been shitty. But they also live in a predominantly. I think they know everyone watches. I think everyone knows about trans porn. It's very big. You see how popular it is.

There's a lot of people that people would believe watch it. I think most men have. I believe that a lot of them. What is it? Transporn? Yeah, it's not saying they jerk off to it. It's like a trans girl. Naked. Yeah. What happens? A lot of times they get blown or they Yeah, it's- I'm not saying they jerk off to it. It's like a trans growing naked. Yeah, what happens?

A lot of times they get blown or they fuck. It's really- I know, I stumbled on it. There's those like babysitting trans porn though, right? Uh, no, but I- however there was, I'd be very interested in finding a link to report it to you. I'll send it to you later. Thank you. Brassers have their own transection now. What?

Brassers, they have their own transection now. Yeah. They do? Yes. Really? So I look at they have their own transection now. They didn't have that. They do? Yes. Really? So I look at that as like straight-ish. Yeah, I can recommend some wonderful girls for you. No, I'm good. I'm poor.

I'm stuck with my old vagina. Okay. I'm happy. I'm just hoping her click gets bigger. I'm bummed, Vigans. Gone. I know you guys are gonna go because you're gonna get up in the morning.

He's gonna dance. I'm gonna, yes. She has a photo shoot. We have, you're gonna get up in the morning. I get up gonna dance We have we're gonna be going to patreon right now, yeah If you guys are watching this we're gonna get questions So if you want to hear the questions that you guys ask go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly You have to check out their podcast Right now Nikki and Jim's podcast, it's called Sword Fight. Sword Fight, which is hilarious.

Check out their YouTube page. They have a bunch of vlogs up there. Adorable couple. I love you guys so much. Make sure you check out Jim. He's on Jim and Sam Every Morning, one of the most popular shows on Sirius. I love both you and Jim, you, you and Sam, Sambo.

Uh... Thank you. I'm on the road too. Can I say I got Oklahoma, Houston and Dallas. Austin is sold out, but, uh, by the time this airs, uh, Oklahoma, Houston and Dallas. Are you traveling with Manal or are you just staying home? Yeah. I prefer to stay at home.

Yeah. She's coming to Austin with me. Uh, cause we're doing, we had asked to do a podcast down there. But Austin is fun because... What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What podcast? It's Laura Compton's first date.

I've done it and then she reached out and she goes, I want you to do it with Nikki. I went to- Is that the sexy blonde girl? Yeah, yeah, she's great. She does great podcast. Yeah, we had her on Bonfire. She was nice.

Very, very cool. Austin is fun. Austin's a fun town. That's great. You doing mothership or what? Yeah. You sold out already, right? Yeah, it's been sold out.

That show is, that's just- Brogan's the best. Yeah. I mean, the- I love his club too. His comedy club. That show is just... Rogan's the best. Yeah. I mean, did he create it? I love his club too. His comedy club. I had so much fun there when I was there. She went there with the, it'd be the first time, yeah.

It was fabulous. Yeah, Rogan, Adam, they just treat you great. Love it. Fantastic place. So nice. So make sure you check out all that stuff. Make sure you follow Nicky on social media. Yes.

What's your, what is your... Ms. Nicky Norton, Ms. Nicky Norton. Ms. Nicky Norton, make sure you follow Jim. You probably already do. If you your, what is your? Ms. Nikki Norton, Ms. Nikki Norton. Ms. Nikki Norton, to make sure you follow Jim, you probably already do. If you follow me, you definitely follow him. And it's Nikki and Jim NYC is our YouTube. Nikki and Jim NYC is the YouTube. Jim insisted on Nikki being first, not moi.

No, I like the alliteration of it better. Nikki and Jim, and Jim and Nikki. I just didn't like the N sounds. It should have been Jim. And I got dates, RobertKellyLive.com. I'm gonna be at Houston, I'm gonna be at Austin, at the Mothership, I think all my shows are pretty much sold out.

There might be one of the shows Friday that still has tickets. Lafayette, I'm San Antonio, Boston, Sarasota, Florida, McCurdy's, I'm all over the place. Me and Paul Verzi are doing Bone to Pick Live at the Red Clay Comedy Fest. So make sure you get tickets to that. It's a live podcast, the Bone to Pick.

I don't know when this is coming out, but if not me, I know, it's probably already gone. Get your tickets for Bob Kelly. Yeah, please, god damn it. Get your tickets for Bob-O. What is Red Fest? Red Clay Comedy Fest. Just a comedy festival.

And make sure you go to comedy What the fuck is it? Comic-wearable thank you Danny. He hates when I fuck up here is tone. Yeah comic-wearable. I heard dumb Comic-wearables calm buy all the merch up there. We got YKW do we get fat Robert Kelly? We got fat Robert Kelly. We got the shirt. We got I want a shirt Jim whatever you want. You can have tell me what Really? I want the with your face on it. You want fat Bobby? Yeah, I'm gonna be getting sexy Bobby up there soon I'll get that both you want both. Yeah Session them which one you what a smoke session We like it. Are you smoke weed? Yeah, that's great for you. I just one thing I could do a smoke weed. Yeah, it was sober

What's okay? Um, make sure you goGribbles.com and that's it. Guys, what do you got? Max Marcus Comedy, all social media. Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff and come to Comedy Averve in Summerville, New Jersey every month. And go to YouTube, type in The Cheese Show. Okay, so that's anticlimactic. The Cheese Show.

Just got to whip it up at the end. I like it. No, make sure you follow these guys. I'm telling you right now, hilarious. I bring them on the road with me. So if you have a chance, go up to them, follow them. Make sure these guys, fucking hilarious. And they're the reason why the podcast is doing so well, is you and these three nerds back there.

So I wanna thank you guys. And we'll see you guys next time on YKWD you know what dude you're the best fans see ya you've been listening to the YKWD podcast thanks for listening now go back to your shitty jobs