Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe Yannetty and Roger Nygard - Cinnamon Apple
Episode Date: August 31, 2020This episode is brought to you by MyBookie: Use the code (YKWD) and Mybookie will double your first deposit at https://bit.ly/MB_YKWD and EXPRESSVPN.com/YKWD, you can get an extra three months of Expr...essVPN for free! Writer and director of the newly re-released movie "Suckers!", Joe Yannetty and Roger Nygard join Bobby and Calta to give us the lowdown on Bobby coming up in Boston, how Joe helped him while he was in LA, and why you need to see this movie before you buy your next car! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah baby we're starting the podcast right now.
We're back. You know what to live. Welcome everybody.
It's the show.
YKW.
YKW.
I started the social media podcast.
The back. YKW.
YKW.
YKW.
YKW.
It's back again.
Hold school back in the day.
We're all starting before them all.
YKW. YKW. The podcast keeping my mind on you. I can't die.
This podcast is so fun and crazy and has no rules.
Shut up, you all whoinig this.
We're the more abandoned, the more sorry it's comedy podcast.
This is an NPR.
That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show?
This is the original original. You know what, dude?
Fuck are you drinking?
It's, uh, it's strawberry water.
I get shenan for drinking protein lemonade.
And you're drinking strawberry water with a strawberry in it.
You drink piss water out of a fucking jug from Leo, Leo to Machita.
That's MMA master piss.
Mm-hmm.
And I mix my drinks up. I mix them up. So what do you mean? You drink the same
piss water every show and the same thing that's not I mean it's if it came in
its own bottle I'd be okay with it but you're mixing that into a thing of water.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me. Yeah. All right. I mean, look, I'm all for you. I'm so happy
for you. Do you, I mean, do you get as excited as me when the things going and we're about to
enter the room and fucking, you know, and then it comes on and then we're here. And I know that
the lady bugs are here and we're here.
And you know what I mean?
I mean, I mean, I get so excited, happy.
Do you want to know the truth?
I, yes.
Yes.
I do get very excited.
In fact, do you know when you have something to do
during the day and in the back of your mind,
it's always like, oh, I fucking got something to do today.
I don't want to do. that never happens with this show.
I'm always excited when I go,
oh, I got to do the show tonight, except today.
Why?
I'm excited to do the show, Bobby.
It's that my wife, it's 704,
is not back from getting her nails done.
And now I'm in here with my daughter and her friend
on her iPad and my dog in here because my wife is too irresponsible to get home on time so I could do the show.
Oh my god, my dog's gonna shit on the floor. My daughter has to whisper just try me crazy. I'm in a good mood.
That's so, so, is the word insulting I'm looking for?
Very sparmtable.
She's home, get out.
Are you talking to your daughter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, let's go out.
What's wrong with you?
Don't talk to her like that.
Listen, freedom now.
All right, seven or five.
I'm not even mad at my wife anymore, five minutes. Sorry. You forgot to hang your calt the Kelly sign up behind you toe.
I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying? They give me shit every morning when I don't switch it to the morning show one.
Well, they should. Galbons like you. You sign dude. To me.
I was he gets mad.
Yeah.
So I think I have to ask you since you're the King of Zoom.
Yes. But I think that I'm going to get rid of this sign by a 32 inch
flat screen television that would go right there.
And then I could do everything digitally behind me.
Oh, that would be better.
Yeah, that's it.
And it would light up the back of your head.
And I'll have a little, you'd have a little separation on that side of your head.
I didn't tell you, I got a new webcam. I didn't tell you that.
I can tell.
You can because I don't think you can.
Yeah, no, it was because my I the webcam I was using was
my sons from when they had homeschool because of the pandemic. So when school and then I go,
hey, give me your webcam. Let me see if it's better. So I put it on here and I'm like, yeah, it's
better. And then last week when I was at the beach, I'm like, I don't want to spend a thousand
dollars on a webcam yet, but I do need to upgrade. So I spent like an hour researching best zoom webcam, best online video webcam, and they all pointed to this one.
So I ordered it, and within two days it was out my house.
So then I said to my son, I'm Monday, hey, do me a favor before the show starts.
Go get that new webcam and hook it up for me.
He comes in and he goes, you're an idiot.
I go, why you go, you put the same guy damn webcam, it's already. So I made her install and I gave
him his old one back and well, yeah. Well, it's a good webcam. I mean, you're not the
king of zoom. No, but you are, you know, good. You look good. I mean, you're not, I mean, as HD is me, 4K is me, you're 1080p,
but you still look great. Better than 99.9% of the people out there. I'm just a 1% of amazing. The guy said I look like a pit bull that they just have a show. Some kind
Rick. I would never make you buy that so I would send you that in trade of for
news. Nudes. Yeah. I like nudes too. We got a great show tonight for you guys.
First of all patreon.com.com says Robert Kelly watch it live. We have a great show tonight for you guys. First of all, patreon.com.sets. Robert Kelly, watch it live.
We have a great show.
A lot of you were saying, you don't know who the guests are.
You don't know them.
Well, one of them is a director.
He actually directed, I believe it's called Trekkies.
Much of you.
Yeah, the documentary.
Yeah.
Roger Nigar, don't be afraid to say his last name. A couple of you are afraid to attempt it. I understand the hard. Why?
Roger Nygard.
Did Trekkies and he also did the movie suckers, which my friend, my mentor from Boston, one of the guys that really helped me out at the beginning,
Joe Yonetti, who was a writer on Rosie and a big guy in the late 80s, early 90s,
and he moved to LA. And this was kind of a story about all him working as a car dealer in L.A.
Have one of those shady car dealerships and they're coming on tonight.
They're re-released in the movie.
Now I know you didn't watch them.
Did you watch the movie?
I saw I've seen the movie before.
So the whole you learn the whole thing about how when they, when they go in the back, they're
like, I gotta go talk to the finance guy, I gotta go talk to the other guy and they keep
going in the back and they tell you what, it's all bullshit and then the ball-tatted guys.
I remember I told you I thought the ball-tatted guy was Lawrence Tierney, but it's not
it's a guy that kind of looks like low-budget Lawrence Tierney.
Right.
I go play as the mob lawyer and all in every mob show or every
Yeah, you know, I'm sorry. I doubted you politics. I'm sorry. I doubted you
I'm sure has also worked with two of our heroes who Kevin Costner
Fuck you on what and as you call him Ben Affleck Ben Affleck
Is it Ben Affleck like the insurance? Yes. No call him Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck. Is it Ben Affleck like the insurance?
Yes, no, that's Affleck.
Ben Affleck, not Ben Affleck.
Is it a fleck or a fleck?
It's a fleck.
A fleck?
Whatever. I'm not saying anymore.
It's not something.
Well, just help me out.
Help me out.
I want to say Ben Affleck.
Ben, repeat after me.
Ben. And Fle Ben Affleck. Ben repeat after me. Ben Affleck.
Fleck. Right. Ben Affleck.
Ben Affleck.
Ben.
No, again, no, just do it again.
Ben.
Ben.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A. Anyway, he directed Ben Affleck in a man about town,
Kevin Costner in Black or White. What's Black or White? I never saw that. It's a movie about
Black or White. My bodyguard, wasn't that that movie? My bodyguard. Was that I think Roger was too young for that. No black or white. Nothing on the
get it. Oh, all right. Hey wait, there's more. A lot of aliens. Jim carry. He worked at Jim Carrey. On what? High strung.
I don't know that.
What's that one?
I don't know.
That probably was like before Jim Carrey was super famous.
Well,
Oh, it's Jim, Jim Carrey and Bob Odin Kirk.
And Bob over there.
He's great to.
I think Bob did one of that animation farm something.
Barnyard. Barnyard? Yeah, the kids barnyard with a
cow. Yeah, it was a good, it was actually a great movie with Kevin James was the
fucking pig. Yeah, by the way Roger also, I mean, suckers that you know, in
addition to Joey and Eddie, also also stars prisoner Laurie Loughlin.
Yes. You might know where S prisoner 875-022.
Yes. That's correct. She's in the movie and the movie is very, I mean you couldn't make
this movie today. Let's just put it out. Let's just say that. This movie could not be made today.
Do you know that Roger also edited some of the best television shows and directed some of
the best television shows on TV? What? Veepe, Kerberian Thuziatham,
Wow. Crashing and directed the office and the Bernie Mac show.
Wow.
You don't know about all that, did you?
No, I did not know about that. No, I like Roger. He's a good guy.
I don't know Roger, but I feel like Roger should be a guy we should be pitching shows to.
Roger could take fat science and run with it, make the Fat Olympics.
What was the other movie we came up with? I have so many.
You have so many, or we have so many? I have so many. I'm sitting on pilots.
What the fuck does that mean? I'll tell you, I'll tell you when Roger's on a pilot. I mean,
you're involved in all my, you're involved in all my problems. Fuck is involved, man.
in all my problems. Black is involved, man.
Wait, so I have one show called One Last Job,
but you're not right for the part.
Why?
Because you gotta be black.
That's racist.
It's not racist.
It's the character is black.
So it would be easy to have you play a black man
would be racist.
Well, can I just, is it one black man in the whole
show? It's one black man and one white man together. All right, I'm sorry. I was thinking about it.
I got to think out of the box. Maybe you play the white man. Maybe. The white man needs to be younger,
I think. He needs to be more like a, uh, Vince Vaughn and Twinger's kind of guy. What do you talk about dude? I have the skin of a Filipino boy
I look 20 years younger than I am you want to know the truth? I wrote the pilot with somebody in mind
I don't know if you're gonna want to hear it. I do
Chris the stuff know
I know I wrote it with Chris the Stefano and phase on love and phase on gave it a thumbs up.
Ice keeps anyone to produce it.
You wrote it already.
I wrote the I wrote the pilot.
And you never gave it to me to read.
No, I'm I wrote three pilots.
You grow pilots and you never gave it.
To me to read.
No. to read. No, I'm I wrote three pilots. You grow pilots and you never gave it to me to
read. No, I did not. My other one's even better. Fuck is up with that. I don't know.
No, no, no. I'm going for the question right now. Lisa Bobby's a great actor. You can play black. That's how you get canceled.
Buddy, what the are you lying? No. Why wouldn't you let me read the pilots?
I don't because I did it before we started doing the show. And I don't know.
show and I don't know. I wrote that one. Yeah. I wrote another one called me and Wang. Yeah, you know, you know, it's about a guy who adopts a family who adopts a little Asian kid.
Man Wang. That's what you're going to call it. I mean, are you really that fucking dumb? No. You're gonna fucking pitch in these times.
What's the show name?
What's the show about?
It's about these family, Italian family.
Really living Tampa.
They drop a little Chinese baby.
Oh, what's it called?
Men Wang.
No, no, it's not about an Italian family.
It's not about Tampa.
And it's more like middle America.
And you're right. We should call it
Wang and I. Wang and I is the right way to say it. You shouldn't call it Wang and I. That sounds
like a porno. Wang and I just now Wang and I W A G and E Y E Wang and I and then you find out it's in for Wang and I
Wang and I know I was stopped. It's not even tricky. Oh yeah, you know you like it. I don't like
Wang and I Tuesday night time Wang and I sounds like a new dog breed. What is that? It's a Wang and I
Oh my Wang and I died How, Wang and I died.
How about I just shit and living room?
How do you call Wang and the elephant?
I'm not in it.
Oh, I forget.
No, you know, who's supposed to be in that?
Who I wrote, I wrote that for somebody too.
Yeah, that's it. That's interchangeable, but I had one person in mind when I wrote it.
Who Tom Carter.
Tom Carter for what?
To play the lead role Wang's father.
So Tom and Carrie Louise with their three little toe heads, adopt a little Chinese baby.
Wang. with their three little toe heads, adopt a little Chinese baby. He's like a wing. Tom plays like a midday talk show host,
like a local midday show,
you know, those shows that you comedians hate to go on.
Yeah.
And he wants to be like the next regist.
And his wife left her job when they got married
so that they could chase his dream.
She used to work at CNN.
Then they keep, she keeps to work at CNN. Then she keeps one, I have kids, but he keeps putting
it off because he's constantly on his job. So she convinced them to adopt the kid and he's like,
yeah, fuck it, whatever you want to do adopt the kid. So they adopt the kid and they get an Asian
kid because it's easier. And then he thinks he's getting called in for the regis promotion and he gets fired. And she has to go back to work at CNN and she becomes a huge hit again.
And now he needs stuck with the kid and he never wanted the kid in the first place.
So he hates being on the kid.
So he didn't want the kid and not only that, he got Wang.
He got he lost his job.
He lost his chance to become a regis and he stuck got Wang. He got he lost his job. Yeah, he lost his chance to become a
regiress and he stuck with Wang. And now he is with Wang and he didn't like Wang,
but then finds out that Wang, even though he's like four years old and doesn't
really talk a lot, is a fucking genius. And only Tom Carter knows about it. So he
started, he started doing stuff with Wang in order to entertain himself and have some fun to make money.
Then of course they get in trouble. Dependent how far down the road to go.
All right, Max wants to say hi. All right, Max, into the show. He can be the bully.
No, no, no, no, no. The first one, my son's not being a bully. He's an actual. Act or no, it doesn't matter. He's not.
It's not doing it. I refute.
What's Wang?
What's wrong with your eyes?
Why do they go that way?
Real quick.
Too.
Can I have them read a line for me?
High power.
I like the hair.
From New Hampshire.
What is it?
Maximus.
Get out. Go. Get out. Get out. Goodbye. Don't use son of a gun.
You right. I think his audition went well. He gets the part. He's hired. Bullie.
Little bully. What the heck? He already bullied bully the half-Asian kid for me.
Oh God, damn.
Well, anyways, that's, I mean, I didn't know Roger.
And you know, Joe, actually, Joe, my friend, Joe,
lives up in the Hampshire now.
He's got like a boat.
He's on a lake every day. He, uh, he was doing, um,
but I told, uh, back in the day, I mean, back in Boston, Joe was one of the guys, you know, one of the big guys.
And we got to get him to tell us the incident with him and Colin.
There's another movie called when comics stoodood Out, When Stand Up Stood Out.
And it's all about Stand Up Comedy in Boston,
when it started with we're talking Dennis Leary,
Lenny Clark, Steve Sweeney, Dawn Gav and Tony V,
Jimmy Tingle, all these guys started comedy where it wasn't.
And it was, they created this Boston style of comedy,
of a very smart and very in your face
and really funny non-stop, fuck you.
And they used to make guys audition in the kitchen. If you want it to be in the show,
they did shows for fucking blow and cash. And they all lived in a house called the barracks
over somewhere in fucking Boston, somewhere, and they used to party and fucking do shows and do
blow and get shit-faced. And they own the town. They were like rock stars.
And then when guys used to come in,
when they used to come in,
and when they used to come in the town,
like famous comics from New York or wherever,
they would front-load the show with all these heavy hitters.
And they would fucking just blow everybody off stage.
Do you remember?
I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember.
I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember.
I remember. I remember. I remember.. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember how I just made in Kelly kid all right with the fucking making the
to the comments a fucking fuck fest. Oh
right. Rick and the Rolex got us back. I mean it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't
matter. Just fucking stop with your bullshit. All right, make it funny. We get it.
Move on your fucking guns. I'll fucking douche you out of this room without a fucking heartbeat. Got it?
Should I have you do my Twitter account?
It's just these fucking guns. I mean, at least be funny. You know what I mean? He looks like a bloated. No shit. He looks like a blubber got stung by a big oh fuck yourself
Yeah, yeah, not at least you name change your name
So I have to save fucking Nat 1289. At least you did that Nathan Kelly
Fuck face. It's funny that he took my name
I'm gonna run him by your fucking sister before you put him in the fucking comments. Stop throwing every stop swinging at everything you fucking half a
queer. Anyways, so he's on tonight. We got to ask him about that. And then,
and I didn't know Roger. Roger did a lot of shit.
Roger's still doing a lot of shit. Roger's still doing a lot of shit.
Roger's got a huge, he worked on a lot of films
and a lot of editing, directing, and TV shows.
He did a lot of shit.
But if you look at like this movie right now,
it's, I mean, you can't, I mean, this movie's got
some crazy shit in it.
Yeah, this was the first movie to expose what bullshit the used car sales were or any car sales.
I never knew I never knew at least was a fucking of fuck fest.
You know, yeah, there we go. There's Roger.
I'm a little early, but here I am.
What's your early? I'm for you. You're an early guy.
I'm the organized guy. Yeah, Joe Yonetti is always the one I'm pulling around behind me.
Yes, you're the director and you produce. So you have to be organized.
Joe is talent and a writer. Disorganized. Yeah, he's a Starbucks right now waiting for his latte and
he's on a boat watching a sunset. Hi buddy, how are you? Good, thank you.
We are already broadcasting lives, no end words.
All right, the rest of the alphabet. Oh, the rest of the alphabet, yes.
Oh, the rest of the alphabet, yes. So anyways, yeah, Mike Calta here, and me,
mushies in the background somewhere.
But we were just talking about how much,
because I know you from suckers, I know you from Trekkies,
and Mike just read me your resume.
Apparently you're a big deal now.
I get where my way into the comedy business from the side door.
Apparently, yeah, I work with a lot of people who's, I guess they seem to agree
that I know what's funny, even if I'm not funny.
You are, I mean, you, you've worked on some of the funny
establish and shows in the last 20 years with deep and career enthusiasm in the
office. I mean, that's tremendous.
Yeah, the league and even like raising anatomy is, is, uh, I enjoyed it.
You don't think it's a comedy, but they have comedy scenes.
And my documentaries are comedies to me. I mean, they're real documentaries,
but I make them because they make me laugh because I think humanity is funny.
What, so I mean, that's not an outlive skit.
Was that an inspiration for you?
Where we're shattering or just gazing at you,
yells at all the trekkies where you're like,
because now everybody does stuff at Comic-Con's on it.
But Trekkies was really the first one to really go out there
and look at that weird fucking world.
Yeah, we were the first obviously.
I mean, there's been a lot of fan documentaries that came
after us. People saw Trekkies and it inspired them to make documentaries about the fandom of
Star Wars or the ex files or my little pony, whatever. I've seen that.
To me, what inspired me was a short, it was a 30 minute documentary called Mando Elvis. I don't know
if you've ever seen it. I know, I sound familiar. So it was, it got very little release, but
I saw it on VHS in the early 80s. And it's about super obsessed Elvis fans. Yeah. I never
forgot it. It stayed with me. And one thing I saw in there that I completely appropriated
for Trekkies was they had an Elvis, an auction of Elvis memorabilia. And what people were
paying for things that he might, someone might have touched that was near him, like the most
I did. I remember that now. That was insane. And then there were so many other things today had like a tooth that might have been Elvis's baby to that's like things like that. That was might have been. It might have been.
Might have been.
But then.
So I found that, you know, what people do. The key I think for me in making Trekkies and suckers or whatever I do is that I want people who are a part of that world
Whether it's Star Trek fans or car salesman or UFO fanatics or married people like my new documentary
I want them to be able to watch the documentary and
Laugh with me. We're making fun of the idea of what it is to be human
So I want them to be in on the joke as well.
Yeah. What's your new documentary about? It's called the truth about marriage. And I found the truth
and presented it and it's a comedy. Just a bunch of guys getting jerked off of a massage
collar at the end. It's complex and that's certainly one aspect of humanity. A bunch of wives that don't care.
What time are you coming home?
Wash your hands.
But one of the questions I asked in the documentary was,
and let's see how you answer.
Who is the boss in most relationships?
The man or the woman?
Oh, I know for sure.
It's easily my wife.
Why does everyone says that is universal agreement
that it's the women that's the boss?
I can also give you the answer.
I'm the boss.
You're the, you're, where are all the boss?
But you're going to answer that question,
you're gonna say your wife because the truth is
that no matter how happy you are,
you're not happy if she's not happy.
That's right, I'm fucking delighted.
What I, I, I, I've been on the road for a month on tour in Canada. I was, she was miserable who missed me.
I was fucking delighted.
Hang it with, I was hanging out with other comics.
I was having a great time.
I'm sure you're in there.
Yeah.
Well, what are you talking about?
I'm the fucking king.
I get an, I get an email from somebody.
Read that.
Fill it out.
Sign it.
I go out to my shed. I hand her a check. What's her dinner? I'm the boss. Where do I get one of those?
You ever Massachusetts. She has American Indian and Polish in her. I don't know what that
mix is. I think she has a right. Well, you were in Canada too because she was like,
fuck him. All he does is give me the money and things he could do it every once.
Yeah, your wife, first of all,
Caldwell, your wife is not the boss.
I see you.
My, listen to me, I'm telling you right now,
if it comes down to making a decision between her and I,
I will do whatever she wants to do,
because I don't wanna deal with the bullshit
that comes afterwards making her the boss.
At the end of the day, I'm the one who's stronger.
I can always have her killed where I can always drag her out to the alligator.
I know deep in my heart, who runs the fucking show, but the truth is on a day to day
basis to make my marriage work.
She's the boss.
Here's here's my explanation or my theory.
It's a theory.
Yeah.
In any given relationship, there tends to be one person who is the more logical one,
and there's one who's the more emotional one.
It could be either the male or the female, either one could take that pole,
sometimes it switches, but in general,
someone is the more overall, more logical, and one is a more emotional.
Whenever there's a conflict and there's inevitably a conflict,
and you have to get back to happiness,
that means you have to come to an agreement of some kind, a return to happiness.
And the logical one wants to litigate and say, well, play back the tape. You said,
and see how right I am, the emotional one just wants to be heard, wants you to acknowledge that
they're hurting and maybe say, sorry, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong or who said what,
once you acknowledge and say, you know, you're right.
Let's hug.
Then you can get back to happiness.
And so emotion always trumps logic in a conflict.
I, I, I didn't hear a word you said.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm 50 this year, Roger. He's very right. What do we have? We haven't chicken thighs. What do I?
I don't.
I'm 50 this year, Roger.
I don't care.
If I walked in and she was, uh, she was banging my producer
mush.
I just like, what's up?
Let me know when you're done.
Me and Max are going to go swimming.
I don't, I mean, at this point, maybe five years ago, I would be like, okay, but now it's,
I think we're just holding on until one of us gets cancer.
Did you talk to the same sex couples too or just men and women?
Look at I missed.
What did I miss?
Prime, we're talking about your relationship, Joe, and why you're so successful in relationships.
It took him three times to get it right.
Took a lot more than three.
I only married three of them.
I was I was I was there for the middle one.
Woof.
Oh, you were there at the end of the first one.
I was there.
I was there at the end of the first marriage, Calta.
And I moved in.
First of all, the second wife, we were at Nick's comedy stop, waitress,
Smoker.
I told you the night, Smoker shows up.
Everybody wants to hook up, including me.
Joe's like, I'm going to go out with her.
We want to go to the billions when back when the billions was a thing, right?
You know, there was mostly Irish guys, like a couple Asian guys in the back.
Now it's just all Asians.
But we went and he took her out.
He's, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go out with her.
Within I go, I think I bet you money.
Didn't I bet you like 25 bucks?
Yes.
I think you bet me that you wouldn't go out with me at all.
Oh, at all.
He's got a greater six months later.
Wow.
It was you wrong.
It was you wrong months later? How do I get my
green screen on? I don't find it
out. This is some zoom. This is
something else. I know. I was I was
his best man, right? Calta. So I
take him I take him I take I'm like
do it. I'm going to take him. We're
going to go strip clubs. He's like I
don't want to I'm not into that. I don't do that. I'm like fuck you. We're gonna go strip clubs. He's like, I don't wanna, I'm not into that.
I don't do that.
I'm like, fuck you.
We're going to strip clubs.
It doesn't matter.
We're going to strip clubs.
And he goes, I don't, fuck.
So I bring him all the way to Rhode Island
because Rhode Island, they, you can hang in bang.
You can grab city.
You can bring him in the back room.
You can bring him pop one.
You can treat it like a titsi Pop one, two, three, three.
And we go in, we get all the way down
that we sit down, front row.
The girl comes out, he's like, all right, he's getting into it.
The girl looks through her legs at me and I go, Lisa,
she's gonna go.
I'm gonna go, we gotta go.
I'm talking to the girl. But she's like, I gotta work, I mean, Joe, we gotta go. I'm talking to the girl. I got to work.
I got to make money, but I can't do it in front of you.
I'm like, Joe, we gotta go.
He's like, you cock, Saka.
You got me all the way in.
I finally look at it.
Some ass.
And now we gotta go.
I want to take it until like this milk disco.
It was called the Vogue in in in in in Saga's Massachusetts. It was being
in with a bunch of old bros with
freckled tits. Just dancing to like
fucking yeah, like that. Not not if I
won't have to go get all the
disc ride. Remember that? Well, I
remember right before we left, I
said to my future wife, she said,
where are you going? I said, me and
Bob, I don't get blow jobs.
And she goes, what?
I go, what's bachelor party?
That's what you do.
You get a blow job before you get married.
She goes, you can't do that.
I go, I don't have a choice.
I have to do that.
And she goes, I'm telling you, mother.
No, that was the plan, though, Joe. You didn't know that. We were getting blow jobs that night. I'm telling you mother.
No, that was the plan though, Joe. You didn't know that we were getting blow jobs that night.
We were.
Yeah, we were.
Yeah.
I don't care if it was me and you and your fucking cool girl.
We were going to definitely cheers.
That was the last blow job that Joe ever got.
Good try.
Anyway. I'm sorry. I was thrown off by Joe having the
gay or drink than Bobby. A gay or drink. Look at yours now. Look about all your
children. Urban in Waterford crystal. Yeah. And then look at Bobby's strawberry and a mason jar.
Oh, man. Here's my healthy water. And then I said to Bobby, I said, I'm going to teach her how to do stand up.
And I swear to God, there wasn't even a half a second of a hesitation.
He goes, you fucking deserve everything you get.
I just got a god. Gal that was, fuck it idiot. Don't do it.
Oh, you know it.
Oh my god, it was terrible.
How did you?
What's that?
I go to LA.
I saw I go to LA.
The stripper. I met the stripper in Boston.
I mean, just on top of the mocha.
No, it's a theme here.
Yeah.
Smoker.
I mean, smoke.
She's in LA.
She's like, come out here begging me to come out there. I finally come out.
But you know, like a lot of things in my life is based on my fats. You know, she knew me at one of my skinnies.
And I was slipping into one of my like my fourth fat, right? And see you. She didn't she didn't know fat was approaching.
She knew me.
Yeah, she knew me at my third skinny when I was smoking body, but I was slowly slipping into my, my fourth fat, right?
You were deaf.
I'm gone.
And you had, when you had hard gone, you had, I was the little, I had hair.
So I show up in LA.
She picks me up.
I know within fucking 10 seconds, this brought us not into me,
but I'm supposed to be living with her for two months.
Oh, good.
I'm fucking fucked.
I'm out at a homose beach.
She's a stripper.
She's leaving, coming home late at night.
She sleeps in the bed.
I cried a nut-slapped tour.
She fucking kicks me off her.
Wants nothing to do with me.
Oh, I'd love to hear that phone call to her friend.
Hey, when I saw him, he had fucking hair.
He was skinny.
Now he's chubby and he's bald.
I don't know what the fuck to do.
And now he's here for two months.
I was terrible.
And then I remember I snapped in the middle of the night.
I was like, fuck this.
Fuck and I grabbed all my clothes.
I called Joe.
I go, do it. I'm out of here.
And he goes, you can come stay here.
So I stayed on his in his spare bedroom on a fucking blowup.
And that's it.
Blowup mattress with a bubble in it.
Yeah, but it was also his white closet.
So every morning I heard the her go,
snip, snip, snip, snip.
Why did you get in the closet?
She was getting dressed in the closet? She was getting ready.
She would better close up, but then I
was be fighting in the morning.
So I just slamming these hangers.
Click, click, click, slap, slap, slap.
And I'd be like, oh, I remember we would,
we'd be out in the lawn for fucking four hours,
talking about your argument.
That you guys turned into a brother and sister.
Yeah, because you went on the road for fucking three weeks and I was just starting to
what her? Well, it wasn't just me on the road. If you remember, it was right during while Roger and
I were working the deal with HBO. So we'd be on the phone with the producers of the movie,
the agents, the people from HBO, and Bobby and my ex-wife
are walking around pretending to have guns, like they're secret agents coming around the corners
and my house trying to shoot me while I'm having the most important conversation of my career.
They would be rollerblading in the courtyard at the house chasing each other.
He was so mad. He's on the phone.
He's fucking.
I was talking about this huge deal that's about to go down and we're fucking being three
year olds in the house.
And he would, I remember yelling at us like just to hold on.
Enough.
Enough.
Let's be cool.
We have mute.
You know, yeah.
Yeah.
It was a real phone.
And I'll tell you something about Bobby Kelly.
Absolutely hands down the easiest person
to scare the shit out of.
Yeah, I see that.
He would be in the shower.
I would go and get a milk crate
and put it right in front of the bathroom door.
I would stand on the milk crate, put my hands up in the air
and he would open the door in
a towel and I'd just go, hello. And he would scream like a little bitch for five minutes.
You almost fucking killed me once you cock suck.
He would scare me all the time like it was fucking, it was annoying. He did it like at least once a day, he tried
to fucking murder me with a scare.
Uh, him and my wife in the closet, I come in the house during the closet putting their
clothes back on. Pretending to scare me.
Uh, you know, looking back on that time too, I mean, I don't know what it was. It was like, like, who gives a fuck?
There was no pressure. I mean, you probably felt pressure because you were at a different
stage of the business than me. But I had nobody in my life. I'll go wherever the five
was sleeping on the floor, trying to get auditions, trying to get on stage.
I didn't give a shit.
Yeah, but then he saved my life.
I was gonna kill her.
I would have gone to jail.
He was like, because by then he,
don't move to LA and you moved in with Don.
Well, no, Don moved to LA.
Yeah, that was a weird time too,
because she moved to LA with this girl from Southie and they were living underneath two twins.
Just two good looking twins. It's like, yeah, I never asked her about it because I don't
want to hear about that weird story. But can I ask her?
Now you can't.
Thanks, Kevin.
Can we put in a broad new documentary? I'm not going to be a big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the
big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the a little too long. I think it was there for like three or four months. I go over there, they got no fight. She moved, she wound up coming over with me and Dawn.
She put on the couch.
Yeah, and Bobby, and Bobby's like, listen,
you're a big scary asshole and you got a stop.
And I'm like, I'm not doing anything.
He's like, you need therapy.
Yeah.
Hey, Joe, I have a question.
I remember at that time, is this, you would tell me stories and I wonder if it was about
Bobby. You would see you had a friend who you would tell that we were making this movie
suckers. And he didn't quite understand.
You were actually making a movie.
No, that wasn't Bobby.
Who was out of town?
Oh, your friend Tom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, we're making a movie and he didn't quite get it.
Yeah.
And because I told him, I said, you know, read the script
If you want to play something and then he showed up and on the set one day and he goes
You're making a movie
Well, what the fuck I told you he goes you up, but like this like a movie
It's like there's like 150 people there crew members and everything we had a whole car dealership we rented and
Believe it. Now it's like you could have been in it
But no one believed that I would have ever gotten a deal like that
So everyone was like yeah, right
I saw Joe doing stand-up at the Kambi and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach
Probably around 1988 or so.
What year did you move out to LA Joe?
86 or 87.
So he has soon after he was there
and I had just moved there myself around that same time
and I was working for Rowan's,
Joffie Moren, Brezner,
who's a management company.
And so I was there with my bosses
and we were watching comics and Jo was on stage
and telling stories about being growing up in Boston.
And I never forgot, I was remembered a lot of those stories and I said we should write about this. And so suckers wasn't the first script. It was maybe the second or third or fourth thing we wrote
together, but the first one we got made. And I always just liked how Joe tell stories about his
family and it just, it would just kill me, you know, we'll never go hungry. He slapped his mother's
ass. Or get me the ass, you know, his dad would discipline him. But get me, go get me, you know, we'll never go hungry. He's slap his mother's ass.
Or get me the ass, you know, his dad would discipline him. I get me, go get me one of those uh, insect the pdf's ass. That's the, you know, thick one.
I, I, I, I'm, I do a morning radio show here in Tampa and people always like, oh, you're
funny, you're funny. And I go, I am not nearly as funny as the people I grew up with. And I always
say the same thing. If I get somehow capture the stories that they tell,
in turn, that into a movie, people would love it.
But you need to really get those authentic people like Joe.
Like Uncle Cheesy.
You had this big, long story about his Uncle Cheesy.
And I always remembered that.
And I think we wrote about Uncle Cheesy once.
And there's shades of Uncle Cheesy and Reggie,
I think, and everything, every character,
there are elements of Uncle Cheesy. Yeahgie, I think in everything, every character, their
elements of Uncle Cheesy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you trying for?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you guys, you, you Joe come from the era of Boston comedy when it was, I mean,
fucking crazy when it was rock and roll.
I mean, it was, it was, it was Sweeney and Gavin and Noxy and Lenny and, I mean, it was, it was Sweeney and Gavin and Noxy and Lenny and I mean Tony V and you and
Kenny, right?
Steve and Rob.
That's like Steve and right.
Yeah, people don't understand how fucking every single show was like the funniest show
those people who ever see in their lives.
Well, every show had five of the funniest people ever.
You know, like the first shows I went to
were Barry Kriven's Stephen Wright, Jack Gallagher,
Kenny Rogers and Lenny Clark, Steve Sweeney.
Like all the headliners, like the biggest headliners in Boston
would be on one show at the Dengho. like all the headliners, like the biggest headliners in Boston
would be on one show at the Dengho and they do five shows
in this little tiny place.
Right.
And it was amazing.
And a few months, well, actually probably over a year ago now,
we did a show for Jimmy Smith in a theater.
And I remember sitting down right next to the stage
and Jack Gallagher was on. And was thinking what is what is that noise what is that feeling I got like this feeling like I was home.
And I was like oh my god that's the entire audience laughing so hard that they can't breathe.
And and and it like the entire show was like that from beginning to end.
And, and I didn't, you don't realize I was 20 years old.
I had never been to a live show before.
So you don't realize that these guys are like the best there is.
And, and then after I, I look back on that and wish I could have appreciated more
what I was witnessing.
They're still coming out of Boston too.
You like Bill Burst from Boston.
Yeah. Yeah.
Bobby's good friends with Bill.
Yeah. Jo list.
Jo list is another guy from Boston.
It's just fucking killing it.
I remember Lenny Clark was so huge at one point that he was Oprah's only guest on
the show. He did Oprah when she was live and he was this big funny white guy that
I know that guy used to see him on late night comedy shows all the time and I mean that was that's
That's a big spot in the late 80s early 90s to be on Oprah
You know as it was Paul McCartney and all the Schwarzenegger and Len Clark one day
You know one one time during the time when Bobby was starting out, I walked in and
uh, it was Bobby and Bill Burr and all these guys hanging out, Al Del Benny and Al's making
out with this chick that I know they're not going out. And I go, I go, what the hell's going
on here? And she goes, we're practicing our movie kiss. And I go, oh, let me try. And they break up and I kissed Al right on the lips
and Bobby ran two blocks away.
Like literally ran out of the club and ran away.
Like I'm not a judge running.
He ran away.
Yeah, I turned into a black guy
when he see the good magic trick.
I was like, wow, it's fucking ran.
Remember the time I hooked you up?
Remember the shot when you, when you,
I knew you'd bring this up.
I'll bring it up.
It's the apple, right?
It's the apple.
It's the apple.
Go ahead, tell the story.
I was so heartbroken.
My wife threw me out.
I had a two year old child.
I was devastated and all Bobby wanted to do was threw me out. I had a two-year-old child. I was devastated and all
Bobby wanted to do was get me laid. It's it. So I'm trying to do. It's just take
his mind off of it. He's a good-looking Italian guy. You know it's how to make a
great sauce and gravy. It's called gravy. Yeah, right. Well, I called sauce.
But, uh, Joe, do you call it gravy or sauce? Gravy.
If anything, what me is gravy.
Yeah, whatever he's Boston fucking crazy people.
I bring, I mean, this girl that I was kind of dating, but I really wasn't.
But she was looking for like she was beautiful.
I mean, she was looking gorgeous.
I mean, gorgeous.
She just got fake boobs.
Beautiful.
And she was looking for a boyfriend,
but I couldn't be that for her.
So I was like, I got somebody for you.
And I bring her over to Joe's house
and we're hanging out.
And he winds up, I don't know what he did.
He wanted me to make an apple. What is it? An apple.
Cinnamon apple. You dig out the center of the apple and you
put butter and cinnamon inside and you put it in the microwave.
And it makes this amazing apple. But that's what I do. You
know, Mike McDonald posted a TV show that I did with him in
like 1984. And there was a joke on there
that I had completely forgotten.
It's like walking into an Italian house
is like an alarm goes off quick, but something in his mouth.
So that's, he brings someone to my house.
I have to feed them.
And he wanted your penis, not a fucking apple, what's said?
Yeah, I know, but I didn't know.
I was a good boy back then.
And I didn't know that you were like,
I made it. I said, show me a new boobs. took them out. What, what do you need them out?
She took her, she took these beautiful fresh movies out there with Perfect. And you're like,
you want some more Apple? It's like, I was just, I was very hard broken. I was like,
getting laid wasn't on my mind at all. I was so naive. There was this other girl that, I don't know if I should tell this to her. I don't remember her name, but I was embedded in her and she goes, spank me.
And I'm like, did she just say spank me?
Like, what if I heard that wrong and I whack her in the ass and she goes what the fuck was that I said thank you
and then she moved to California and Roger Factor
you can you can you can give me a lead I know what to do where is Jimmy not
well that shit was I why am I telling these stories?
I'm gonna tell everybody going, I remember that,
like I was so naive, I met my wife when I was very young
and before I met her, there was nothing in my life
but comedy, I didn't care about women as much
as I cared about comedy.
And this girl is eating at my house,
so I got a meatball and I go, you want to taste this?
And I go to feed it to her and I go, do you mind eating off
of my fork?
She goes, I'm going to have your dick at my mouth
in five minutes.
You think I give a shit about the fork?
And I was like, oh, life has changed.
And it's going to taste like a meatball.
I remember when you kept telling me, I'm right, uh, well, you know, you guys, I remember when you, you, you kept telling me, I'm writing
this movie, I'm writing this movie.
And look, as a comic, you hear, we always say, I got this thing.
I got this thing.
And that thing never pans out the things, you know, very rarely because it's, it's very
hard to get something made, right?
And, and then I, when you got this made,
when you started doing this,
and I remember I went to the premiere.
And I mean, this was a fucking great movie.
Not to say like when you're going to see one of your friends' movies,
you kind of always bring your expectations down.
Because you don't want to, you don't want to,
you know, like, like, when somebody sends you a song,
hey, I wrote this, you want to hear it?
Yeah, sure, huh, boy.
You know, a lot of times it's like, fuck.
That's why I never think of my pilots.
So I was still going to read those your cocksucker.
I can't believe you have pilots.
You won't send me.
Anyways, you want to even cast me in them.
But when I saw the movie, I was like,
this fucking movie is great.
And I just recently watched it again.
You can't make this movie.
Not today.
Yeah, I mean, no anymore.
But let's just, most, you got the trailer.
Can we show the trailer real quick?
We got good casting though, too. We were lucky. We got very good
cast. We got somebody in the cast that's in a little trouble
right now, too, which is, oh, yeah, she could not have time
that better.
This is the trailer. Can you make it big?
There's no sound much. Is he from Newton?
His name is mush for a reason.
We've just been mushed.
It's okay.
You know that's a Newton thing mush.
mush what does that mean?
Okay, here we go.
There we go rewind it to the big. Oh god
The movie's called suckers.
I will work my ass off to get us out of this hole. You know that. He owes a bundle to a couple of bone breaking loan shark
And is getting pressure from his wife Donna to get a job
Reggie the sensitive sales manager of the Southside car dealership. Why would I buy a cup?
He loved me.
He trains his sales force to do anything.
And Barry's the mother!
This is a great card.
I mean anything.
Is it my friend?
Are you gonna buy this car, man?
To suck her every last cent out of the innocent victims that come onto his life.
It's him.
It's he.
In for any.
But Reggie isn't only dealing with cars.
And Bobby's lone chucks are calling in their loan.
Hey, listen.
We're waiting for you to get home.
That's when all hell breaks loose. and if
you think
you should see them in the
office
and You get. Did she get that or she?
Did she?
Do you see?
Yeah.
Yes.
What?
Do you see her naked?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, it's worth it.
Just I think I.
He wouldn't let me in the room.
What?
He wouldn't let me in the room.
Why would he?
Close set.
Hey, you can't come in here for this shot.
Some of a bitch.
And that's a lot of money. 20 years younger than 20 years younger and they had the girl.
You had a sex scene in the car, which they never show.
They never have a, you know, a little nude scene in movies anymore.
And there's other things about this movie.
I mean, you cannot fucking do.
Yeah, no, it's definitely a time capsule. It's a time capsule of that year of the 80s or 70s,
80s, early 90s of the way things were. And we try to make it as accurate as possible for the
way things were. But it's, you have to look at it through the prism of this is what things were
like then. And obviously the car business and a lot of things have
changed since then. Yeah, what is was that? I'm sorry, I got it, Mike. Do you cast most of those people like
like how does that work? Do you have to run them because it's your idea, it's your thought, do you
get the cast? Exactly which one do you want in there? Well, we had a casting director who brought in a
lot of people to read for the part. Everybody who got the part read for it and earned the part and and and we're the best we thought the best for the role.
I mean, Lewis Mandelor who plays Bobby, the new salesperson who's based on Joe's life,
he came in and had this East Coast accent. He was Joe and it wasn't until at the rap party when
we're hanging out, he's talking and he's coming up and going, hey mate, that was a great time.
And I'm, what's with the fake, you know,
I was really in accent.
He goes, oh, I'm an all-seman.
He hit it from a thought.
No, dude, that's very...
He had no idea.
How fucking good looking is that guy?
You know, the only, one of the only things
I wasn't really involved in was the casting,
because I was on the East Coast
while Roger was casting on the East Coast while Roger was casting
on the West Coast and one day I had a pass through LA flying to Hawaii to do a gig and they
were casting the part of my ex-wife and these gorgeous first of all I walk in with the
gay casting director and I look at his couch I I go, is that the casting couch? He goes, yes, it is.
I go, let's go.
And he looks me up and down and goes,
you're not my shape.
That's all.
So this girl comes in and she reads the lines
and she goes, you know what?
I just feel like I should be taking my clothes off
while I'm saying these words.
And I'm like, yes!
And the casting director goes, no, we're okay. You can go.
And I'm like, you selfish son of a bitch!
You're lucky. You're lucky she let that happen,
because she'd fucking take you out right now.
I will get her room. And Joe-Yunetti said, yes!
I wanted to take my clothes off.
There was something that happened though
that I didn't, that I learned for the first time
while we're casting this film.
When there's a nude role like that,
what they actresses do to signal their willingness
to be nude and to do a nude role.
So you don't hire somebody and you get there the day of
and they go, I don't do nude roles.
But it says in the script that you have sex
and so you want to avoid that.
They come in and they'll wear a skirt with no panties and they'll sit and they'll flash
you.
You're sitting you and the producers is maybe four or five people sitting on the couch
and you all looking right down the barrel like Sharon Stone or something.
That's how they threw their body language signal
that their game, their game.
They're not going to give you any trouble.
Wow.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
And then now, and there's racial stuff in here.
Lots of it.
But lots of it.
But it's funny because when you write something racist,
you always have to have the other side of it and you wind up
Getting away with that type of thing because of the way it ends
The way things happen the way things unfold right and yeah, like this this whole right
I mean this whole movie is based off of your experience working at a dealership, right, Joe?
Oh, man, you want to hear a cool story
about what you're talking about.
There's the actor in the movie is named as BT,
Black Ball Dude, and he has...
He's the end of comic named Brandon Torell.
Yeah, and he has a confrontation with Reggie.
So right before we shoot the scene,
I tell BT a true story about I sold a guy a car,
the guy was very well off, had perfect credit,
was he was either like a lawyer or a doctor or something.
And when I went and told my boss, my boss looked at the guy's
credit, he looked at the deal I made,
and it was a deal where the dealerships make a money,
I'm getting a decent commission,
and the guy's getting a fair deal on the car.
So everybody's happy, and he goes, okay,
go shake his hand, and I go, I shake the guy's hand,
we gotta get the car cleaned up,
and while we're waiting,
the customer walks out of my office,
and my boss sees that he's black,
and he calls me over
and he goes, Hey, you didn't tell me he was a tyrone. That's what he would call.
That's he can't be racist.
He raises YouTube's touch. Shout you down.
Joe was telling the reason he told that story is he got him all he told it to be T or
actor. He got him all wound up and angry before the scene. Oh yeah. Yeah. So he came into the scene with a full steam of anger.
Oh, and it was a true story. And I didn't even know what the guy was talking about. He's like,
you didn't tell me he was black. When we shoot the scene, if you watch the movie, you can see Daniel
jump up because BT reached down and grabbed him by the balls and he hits him in the chest
so hard. And me and Roger are watching going that was so awesome. And after the scene,
he goes up to BT and he goes, Hey, man, you don't have to hit me so hard like we got it.
And the lead bald guy, what's his name again? Daniel Benzoli.
Daniel Benz, he's been in everything, right? He's been in like a bunch of
long list, long list of credits. Yeah. Right after right before we shot the movie,
he was the star of his own show called Murder One where he was a lawyer and the whole
season was one trial. And it was, it was a, it was a lawyer and the whole season was one trial.
And it was a pretty successful show.
He is either the bad guy or the lawyer for the mob.
And everything.
He was a machine.
I mean, he would come in and run his lines in his trailer
over and over and over and over again,
because he had these big speeches to get out
and these sales meetings,
which was the opposite of Lewis Mandelor who would kind of just learn his lines a little bit because
he liked to come into the scene fresh. So there are two opposites who, and luckily the way they met
on screen, it really worked. Well, we have one of those scenes right now with him because he did have these fucking, rachful monologues,
pep talks that he would give these guys.
I mean, as an actor,
he must have just been like,
fucking, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
To have to just give this fucking speech,
just a fucking speech to people.
I mean, he does it a few times, which I love.
Did you, either one of you, see the similarity,
the first thing I thought of the first time
I saw Alec Baldwin in Glen Gary Glen Ross was suckers.
Yeah, that was, I mean, if you, if I had to pick,
I mean, I told Joe, this is, as we were writing the script,
to me, this is Glen Gary Glen Ross meets clerks
in a car dealership. Yeah, that's perfect.
That's great. Let's play that clip, Moshe. If you got it.
And here we go. He's a good guy, you know. I like you.
Fuck them before they fuck you and be reasonable.
They will.
My man is not that ill.
Let me tell you something, Greenpeace.
There is no room for loyalty in this blackout business.
You make your money and to hell with everybody else.
That deal really close to you?
We buried that fuck.
You won't even know what though he tries to get out three or four years from now.
And you
You could have made at least another half point in the interest. I made it up on the deal. What?
What did you say? Did you say enough?
Is that like when you get in your dick sucked and right before you come in?
Never it's never enough. I
Want to blow my load all over the place I'm not a man.
It's never enough.
I want to do it all over again. They got that. That's just verbatim from that's what Joe experienced in real life on a regular basis at the
dealership where he was working.
Yeah.
That guy worked for with the maniac.
Made a long money working for him, but he was crazy.
He was so racist.
And I'm working with people from Israel, from Iran, from Afghanistan, from Mexico, from Germany, from Russia, and everybody hates
each other.
But then when it comes time to make a deal, everybody loves each other till the deals made.
Fuck you.
I remember watching that movie and I didn't have a car yet.
I was probably like 17 or 18.
And I remember telling my mother, before I buy a car,
we have to watch that movie again and take notes.
It's sort of got,
because I felt like where I was gonna get him,
because now years later,
I mean, 20 years after that,
I buy my wife at least her Alexis.
And I have a gig I have to go to in the afternoon
on a Saturday, which was rare,
but I had to get there.
So we stopped by the Lexus dealership on a whim.
She falls in love with the cars. They know they got her hooked. So they're trying to get me and I'm like,
Look, just wrap it up. I gotta go. I gotta get out of here.
They're like, all right, and they come back. And this is one thing that they every card dealership I ever had,
he's settled on a term for the least. And this is as much. And then the my every mile over that's this much money.
And then they go, okay, and then they bring it back. And when you when you go to sign it it's fucking changed and they hope you don't know
Oh, and I'm like, thank you guys every mile over here is 50 cents as opposed we talked about 15 cents
All right, let me go in the back and talk to my guy and I knew from your movie that that was a complete
Crocker shit
I watch and I look at my wife and go do you really want this car and she goes yeah, I, yeah, I go, then just get the fucking car. And I go, I got to go.
So like, I gave the guy another minute, he didn't come out. I just walked back there.
Now, they're supposed to be giving up the finance officer about try, try to get it down
to that. I walk back there and the sales guy and the manager and the financial guy are
eating cake. And they're all. And I walked in and they all stop. And they
all just look at me and I go, I got a fucking go. If you want to do this, do it now. Or
I'm leaving. And I'll never be back on the side of town. And they were like, do it. Just
get it done. I was, and I learned that from 20 years prior watching suckers. I swore
to God. Right the fucking their back room.
You have a thing at the end, too, actually, a special edition.
Is it on the Blu-ray?
Where Joe walks you through buying a car on a on a board, a white board.
He tells you everything there is to know, don't do this.
Do this.
Don't do that.
They're going to do this.
Fuck them.
Don't say anything.
And and and it's it's pretty fucking that because I did that my first car in LA. I watched the end of the movie.
Yeah.
Shit. Don't say anything.
You know, I was working in Vegas. I was working. I think I was at the Trappocana.
And Roger goes, we got to shoot this. So I flew from Vegas to LA. He picked me up at the airport.
We went to a studio. We shot that. He drove me back to the airport. I flew from Vegas to LA. He picked me up at the airport. We went to a studio, we shot that.
He drove me back to the airport.
I flew back to Vegas and did my shows that night.
That's why my hair is a mess in that video.
Why?
By the way, don't think I haven't been cursing
your luxurious full head of hair this entire time.
Oh, good.
My hair is nuts.
I hate it.
I'm on a shave my head. And then beard, I hate this beard. My wife thinks it's nuts. I hate it. I'm on a shave my head. And then I hate this beard.
My wife thinks it's sexy.
She loves it.
I think everybody thinks I'm going to get parts now.
As a hitman, Roger keeps telling me I look like a hitman.
You he looks like a dog like a real dawn.
Or if they ever get rid of that world, the most interesting man.
You slide up in that shit.
Hey, you killed some of my people.
I killed some of your people. It's a negotiation. You you look in that shit. Hey, you killed some of my people. I killed some of
your people. It's a negotiation. You look like what's his name? A very famous actor. Those
in them will be Kevin Costner. He was a killer. Whoever it was. Yeah, he was he was the
guy that fit on the roof. What the fuck is his name?
Zero Marcel. No, the famous actor. He was older and he played like a Kevin Kossum was in the military
and he retired and he went and stayed with this guy and ends up falling in love with his
wife.
And then the Google is for you, but I know I was hoping our producer might be with James
almost.
No, no, no way better than looking at that.
Did you say you were hoping our producer would be on top of it?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, let me tell you what emotion I just sent you. What would you say you were hoping our producer would be on top of it? Yeah, yeah.
All right, let me tell you what emotion I just sent you. I just sent you a link.
If you go to this sales blog, Joe wrote a blog that essentially summarizes what that
the video you're referencing says.
So if someone wants to go read about, here's how you can avoid getting screwed.
You can go to that blog.
But do they still screw you the way they use it?
Yes.
Yes.
Why wouldn't they?
Well, because it seems like we were talking about this
the other day, back in the day,
people had shit cars, fucked up cars.
It seems like every car now is brand new.
Nobody's driving a bucket.
Everybody has a great car.
And there's so much competition
for cars now, as opposed to people
buying used cars back then, nobody has a fucking
used car anymore.
You're very rarely seeing used car lot, right?
Well, there's still out there, used cars.
Yeah, really.
So I can tell you as a guy who does
an endorsements for car dealerships, I do,
I do one for a very reputable place, like a large truck dealer. And they're, they're making money, but they're selling
cars super cheap. And you always wonder, well, how, I must be some sort of rip off. They're not,
they're dealing with such high volume of vehicles. They get the buy-em so cheap. So they're making a
little bit off of a lot of people as opposed to trying to rip each person off. And, and you know,
they may be ribbons of people off, not ripping off, but making a profit off of them,
you know what I mean?
But that's their business,
but they do it, they do it pretty good.
But I gotta tell you, over the years,
I have been, I have seen so many cases of fuckery at these places, new, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used, used back. This is broke. And a month later,
it's called a back charge or something. They take it out of your pay because they fix something
on a used car. I hated selling used cars. And they hit that from you, not from the dealership.
Well, part of it comes out of your, because it reduces your commission.
Your commission. Whatever the percentage was it, they reduce it by that much, but I only screwed really screwed
one guy because he.
I want to hear it.
All right.
So this young kid comes in.
He's from Iowa.
The car costs.
He kept saying this.
This car cost more than my parents first house and and and I spent two days with this guy.
He went and brought his wife.
And finally I come to a deal.
One of the best lines ever, my boss goes and talks to the guy
and the guy goes, I already have a car.
And my boss goes, listen, in Los Angeles,
your car is like your foot.
You need to get around. Ha just fucking thought of that.
Like, God, anything of that.
So the guy grinds me down and I go to my boss and I go, look, this is all I can get out
of this guy.
And I could have sold five cars in the amount of time I spent with this kid because he just
graduated college.
He was just got married and I felt bad.
And I go, this is the deal.
He says he'll buy the car right now for this.
And he goes, get this weak sock off my lot.
Like, that's the deal, take the deal,
get him the fuck out of here.
So I go back to the kid and he goes,
do you think you can make payment $20 less?
And I went, I'll be right back.
Now the deal I gave him, it's called a mini deal.
The minimum you would make on a car at this dealership was a hundred bucks.
I was making a hundred bucks.
I went back to my boss.
I said, right me a fucking lease for five years.
Make the payment this much.
Tell me this much of a down payment and my boss looks at me goes, are you serious?
I go, give me a fucking lease for those exact numbers.
I went back to the kid. I went, look, you want to buy this car. This is the only way you can buy this car.
Your wife doesn't want to put a lot down. You don't want to high payment. You got to lease the car.
This is the only thing you can do when he goes, well, can I get a stereo? I said, yeah, it's 20 bucks
a month more. He goes, okay. And he took the deal. Before he left the dealership, I had a $1,300 voucher in my pocket,
was the commission I made on that fucking car.
I was giving him such a good deal
and he would never know that I fucked him that bad
until he goes to trade in that car and they tell him,
he can't.
Well, that's funny because we have him here right now.
Michael, who's that Michael in?
You talked to him. You had jail after that. Does him and his girlfriend go to a fight?
He murdered her. That's all too common though. I think that's really just one
story. We talk to salesmen and this is they all tell their their best their
biggest longer stories and their best deals stories.
And it's, it's imagine if you're going to go buy a car
and you think you're going to get a good deal,
it's like saying, I'm going to go play tennis against
Andre Aguicy and I'm going to beat him.
And I practice once every three years and he practices
every day.
You've got no chance.
They're going to make money off of you.
If you serve and knock his wig off,
you had a chance.
You know, my
mind.
I always say the mindset you need to have is this is what I'm going to pay. I'm probably
going to get fogged, but at least I know I'm it's in my budget. And that's what we bring
Joe with you. That's what you do. And then Joe knows that that's what I did when I bought my car. I brought Joe with me and we negotiated and you just have to know what they're paying for the car.
Right. You know, my Clark Lenny's brother. Yeah.
But my my first I start making money as a comedian. I'm going to go lease a car. Mike comes with me. The guy gives me the first shot and my car goes.
Mike comes with me. The guy gives me the first shot and Mike Clark goes, that's a great fucking deal. You should take it. I'm like, shut the fucking copy. It's not a good deal. Take
it. And I got screwed so bad on that first. Please ever because Mike wouldn't shut up and
he thought it was funny that he, he helped the salesman.
My, my best friend owns a boutique car dealership where he sells like Lamborghini's and Ferrari's
to locally NHL players and athletes.
I'm sorry, what's that get Mike?
Who?
Pete.
What'd you call him?
Sorry, my other best friend.
My number two.
Number two.
Number two.
Number two.
Okay, check.
And his best thing is because he's dealing
with people who all have the money.
So they're not really haggling over the price.
And when somebody off the street tries to haggle with Pete, Pete does the takeaway.
He goes, it's not for everybody, buddy.
And once you say that to a fucking guy, you step, he goes, he's like, no, I'll fucking
I can take it.
I'll take it out by.
And then at that point, he's robbing people.
I have to learn to do this.
I know you're a radio guy.
I got to learn how to talk in my, my inside voice.
I can't do it.
I worked on radio with Swini.
I still couldn't do this.
I don't hear it.
All I hear is a whiny New Yorker with a list.
So I haven't heard nothing good about my voice.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
He has a magical voice and he knows it.
Don't let him fucking be humble.
I gave I gave much the the length for if people want to find the film where you can find it on
Vimeo on demand.
Yeah, starting Friday, it'll be available.
Now, I wanted to watch and it really is.
It's a it's an old school.
Good movie.
I mean, I remember no Bobby brought it up and I showed the trailer. I'm like, I fucking have seen it already. I remember
the movie. Well, you know why the movie is good because it has a, there's not just one plot.
You're not just following a couple or a guy. There's so many things going on. It's, it's,
it's a flies through the movie. This everybody everybody's kind of got from the the guy a bang in the girl getting the car stolen
To you know the guy bringing his fucking desk outside and fucking the guy out there
The everybody's got something going on you gave everybody a little thing to have that was
Really happy
That push that that pushes that movie right through to the end.
And then the ending, you're like, what the fuck?
What just happened?
Because you think it's going left and you guys go right.
And the ending scene is, is hilarious.
It's really funny.
It's very funny.
It's very fucked up.
It's very funny.
Well, it's to.
Well, we've restored it.
I've spent the last two and a half years,
I was just a backup producers who made the film
were good throw it in the trash
because they dissolved their company
and they weren't keeping all the almonds.
And I said, whoa, so I saved the negative,
just inches from getting thrown away.
And sat on
it for a while and finally got around to re-scanning the negative. You scan every individual frame
into 4K and then re-color corrected all the way through and make a brand new master,
which looks seven times, eight, a hundred times better than the original standard deaf version
that was released on HBO in 2000.
Wow, that's crazy. Every frame you had to scan? That's how you do it. Yeah, you put it through a
machine and it scans each individual frame. And after that you color correct it, then you take
that master and you give it to an expert, they're called dust busters. They go through and look at
every frame and paint out the dust,
at least at least the egregious dust so that it looks beautiful.
Wow, crazy. And if someone just asked one of our ladybugs here, do you have any crazy stories from crashing? Oh, I worked on season one, yeah, with Pete Pee Holmes and company and Judd Appetow,
as they were figuring that show out. Yeah. I love it.
I love it.
Pete was awesome. He's so funny. He come in. He only works four or five hours a day. That's his like sweet spot of energy and and and he's really on and focused on it and then at the end of the day, it's like, okay, five p.m. and he's out of there and We'd spend a lot of that time just talking about life and and the meaning of life and existentialism and it was so much fun
Going to work on that show for that reason, right?
Bobby and I just did a show with him last November
Well, well, he was on
Leary's comics come home. Yeah, yeah, they canceled it this year, man. That was that was so sad
Yeah, that was a cremine. That's what is that 16,000 people? Yeah, yeah fucking nuts
Now now speaking of you doing comedy back then you're in this movie other movie when comics go and stand up stood out
Yeah, you tell a story because people don't know that when people
back in the day, when headliners would come into Boston, you
guys are like, I go, fuck yourself. You're making this much
money. And you guys would fucking go on before them and just
level the room. And then just sit in the back and watch them
fucking squander. And And tell us a story about Colin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it was Nick's comedy stop.
And back then, Nick's like, there was no middle ground.
Either you destroyed or they fucking hated you.
And Colin, like in Boston, it was like, if you're, if you
ever ran into anybody, went, oh, the fucking guy's in Boston or assholes, you know
that that guy was a fucking dick because all you had to be in Boston was a good guy.
And if you were funny enough, then, then you were welcomed in. And, and everybody
loved Colin. And Colin was funny. and he was a great fucking guy.
So he goes on after, I think it was me and Sweeney.
Yeah.
And people are just, just because he's from New York,
like no other reason.
They hear New York and Bostonians just fucking go after him
and won't let him talk and they're just tearing him apart.
And he's like, fuck this
and he's ready to walk off stage. And I jumped up on stage and I was like, Hey, this guy's
with me. He's cool. He's okay. And tell him you're from East Boston. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They were like, you walked through the fucking room. No, like it was a fucking nice long walk through the crowd.
You weren't gonna make it.
Yeah, yeah, there was one guy.
It was the worst fucking night of his life.
He went on after me and Sweeney.
And actually, Joyce Calhéwick, the lady that did the reviews
was there.
And this guy, I don't know, should I say his name? He, he, he, he went on. Joyce Carl Heywick, the lady that did the reviews was there.
And this guy, I don't know, should I say his name?
He, he, he, he, he fucking died.
Horrible death.
Like 200 people walk out on him.
And he goes to his hotel room next door in between shows.
And he had it in his contract that anyone that went on
before him had to work clean.
So I work clean, sweety works clean. The first show he goes back to
Zotaro and gets the worst review of his life. And it pissed off
me in Sweden because the lady said, the people, the first two
guys were much funnier. And I'm like, you could have said my name.
And I was kind of new. So now he comes back after this horrible
review, and he has to do the second show.
So he's downstairs and he's pacing and he's nervous,
wrecked and I go on and have a great show,
second show, Sweeney's fucking destroying
and Sweeney introduces him and he's not there.
So Sweeney goes into another routine.
I run downstairs, I'm like,
hey man, he just introduced you as he's
running up the stairs. This is the line. Swini is saying a buck and a ham for a chocolate
chip cookie. What the fuck you got in it? The body of Christ. And the guy goes, Oh, no.
And he goes back down the stairs and I had to grab him and he came up and he went on.
It was horrible. And like a month later, I'm at the improv in Los Angeles. And he came up and he went on it was horrible and like a month later I'm at the improv in Los Angeles and he walks in and I go, hey, how you doing man?
He goes like he doesn't know who I am he goes. Yeah, yeah, and he walked by me and I went hey
I open for you at nicks about a month ago and he goes back. Oh, I'm really sorry man
That's nice to see you again. He was all like fucking humble then
But we that happened to a lot of people and
Twice I remember calling really
He did it again. He walked 500 people
They're whistling they're all listening
And they fucking why and he's on stage going off apparently he wants some dick jokes, okay?
And it wasn't the comedians. It was the audience. The
audience. The it was like a sports team. It was it was both.
Because I was there some nights. And in the forehead line or whoever the
fuck it was, Don Gavin's hosting what? And it's sweet doing a fucking
guest spot. Oh fuck. And then go up and just step on their necks. All right, bye-bye.
And then fucking you guys ready for the he was on evening at the improv. He's from fucking Toledo.
You know what though? There were two guys that well three guys really that didn't give a shit.
And the first one was Seinfeld. Like I remember watching Seinfeld going, man, he went on after,
and I wasn't on the show, but I was there to see it.
He went on after the best of the best,
worked squeaky clean and still had a great set.
And I was like, wow, you can really do that.
And then after the show,
he said some really nice things about Boston to me.
He said how much he liked it. And the other guy, Leno, because Leno was from the area.
So he knew. And then the third guy was Pat. Oh, what was Pat's last name, the real Italian
Pat Cooper. Pat Cooper went up after me and Sweeney. And he went, look at this. I was just in Vegas,
his big neon signs. I got a fucking stamp says, Nick's,
Yannetti's got shit stains on his jacket. Sweeney looks like a
fucking homeless person. He's shit all over us and fucking
destroyed, man. This old time guy who knew how to get down
and dirty and he fucking crushed it.
Those were the only three guys that did really well.
So this, I'm excited, this movie's coming back out.
And where mush, where can we, where can we see this again, Roger?
Where can we see this again?
You can go to my doc or my website or Joe's website Roger and I guard calm or Yenetti.com or
Vimeo on demand and it's also on Blu-ray on Amazon
Perfect you guys gonna go check this movie out
hilarious movie they don't make them like this anymore and
Then you learn what I'll classic
I would say you thousands you'll save you thousands. You'll
save you thousands of dollars on your next car purchase. And you get a little CNA and some
crazy fucked up jokes. The movie is called suckers. Movies called suckers. Yes. And now
Rob Raven said that. We have now. We said it. We talked about it a lot
before. Roger, what else you're working on? What do you put me in?
The, well, the, my prior documentary we talked about is called The Truth About
Marriage. The one before that is called The Nature of Existence. And before
that, six days in Roswell about UFO fanatics. And of course, I made the Trekkies
documentaries. So that's my entire resume of documentaries. Right now I'm
cutting the Showtime documentary
about the history of the comedy store,
which is going to premiere on Showtime, October 4th,
five episodes, Mike Binder is directing it.
And so you direct, you write, you edit,
thank you Mike, I was getting there you cuck,
I really did stutter on that one.
And I've been in nothing that you do, so I take offense.
I need to, like, you need to,
Ryan, you were in something that you did.
What?
You in a thing, weren't you, didn't you edit the thing
that he did for Larry David that he had to
insult a buckner oh yeah oh Bill Buckner I cut the Bill Buckner episode of
Kirby Enthusiasm and you were too mean
you see that shit Roger yes yeah kept telling us Mike they kept telling us
bring it down they said, God do whatever you want. So we come out of the gate Hey, Buckney, you fucking fag you think and they're like no, no, no, no, no
They literally kept bringing us down. I actually then I go back and go back and go back get a time machine
Go back to 86 and bang your knees. You fucking asshole
They go us all the way down to a buckney you stink
They go all the way down to a buck that you stink. So we're like whatever, right?
So then they go, okay, do one more take, do it out.
You guys, we got it to do, do your thing.
So I'm like, okay, Buckner, you're a loser.
And the kid next to me goes, hey, Buckner, go fuck your mother.
Everyone's like, why would he say that?
That's one of my favorites.
That is of all the curb your enthusiasm episodes.
I've edited that certainly my among my favorites,
if not the favorite because it's got such a great ending.
And Buckner redeems himself in such a terrific way.
Yeah. And yeah.
And now, you know,
who's a big fly fisherman?
We were talking about, I know he's dead, yeah,
he's dead, he sucks.
Too bad, his daughter was in the episode two, I believe, right?
That's why he's...
Right, yeah.
That's right.
Am I having a stroke or is Roger's video a little,
blurry?
You have a stroke.
Okay, nice knowing you guys. I'm
like going to be cast your my pilots. He's more than I am. Oh, when he talks, wait,
when he talks, wait, say something Roger. I keep trying to get Joe to write another script
with me. And it's not easy, but I'm working on it. And so maybe the key is Joe,
let's write a script with a nice role for Bobby Kelly.
Hey, listen, Joe's old news now.
I used to work at a Docks in Bayon, New Jersey.
I got stories out of the ass.
We can do a whole different kind of script
and come up with a whole different movie.
Joe, what was it?
I used to work at the Docks in Bayon, New Jersey.
Oh my God.
The warehouses, oh went to talk about characters.
Black guys, white guys, Iranians all run by the mob.
Oh, dude. Dude. I grew up with that's what I grew up with.
I don't like Joe. You just cut me and you out of the fucking
deal.
No, I don't actually gonna have Joe's gonna play the mob guy.
So he's in the movie between the free capacity.
Not going to get the guy that Joe kills.
Joe, Joe is the assassin and you're the hapless guy who doesn't see it coming.
And we need to get the guy, if the ball guy from suckers to back so that he could play
the warehouse manager and yell at everybody.
Yeah, we're just too old.
We did every, every scene.
No, he's, you know, he's around.
Yeah, he's around.
Oh, sorry.
But sorry about that.
Well, we get to get Lewis. Lewis is Yeah, he's around. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry about that.
Well, we can get Lewis.
Lewis is actually making movies about all this stuff too.
He's busy.
We can get Laurie in five months.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
When does he comes out all hardened with tattoos?
Fucking like a cholo.
You want to hear a far-fetched thing?
Bobby told you about my second wife.
So my first wife is what Laurie Lockelin is based on. Her character is based on my second wife. So my first wife is what Laurie Locklin is based on her characters
based on my first wife. And I made her so much nicer than my ex-wife. And then we showed the movie
to people and they were like, we hate that fucking woman. And we had to cut out so much of her stuff.
People fucking hated her. I was like, what was I married to?
Shit, my daughter's gonna watch this.
Joe is earlier about Anthony Quinn,
who is, as well as trying to dig out the movie
of his revenge in the disaster.
So, Zorba, not, what, not, not,
Tim, remember.
I was wrong.
Over the great.
Wrong side of the mess of a payment.
I put, I put Joe in the marriage documentary and I asked Joe
what is the worst thing about being married and he said I don't like somebody touching all my stuff
and I said Joe if you get married again so he's thinking of getting married a third time I said
something's gonna get broken and he said yeah I know he did it anyway. Yeah, but this one. How's the marriage going, Joe?
I honest to God, like I couldn't.
My neighbor makes fun of me,
and only Bobby will truly understand this.
No matter what I do, my wife goes, okay.
And this woman will fucking kill me.
She was born in Dublin, Ireland.
She has an Italian last name,
because her great,
great grandfather was Italian. She is like, I'm not exaggerating. She's the strongest,
like physically strongest woman I've ever known in my life. And she will fucking kill
me. I just before I came on here, I had to yell at her to stop making noise upstairs
because she's trying to fix the hot tub. She's
got the refrigerator out. She got a whole wall. She's trying to get to the fucking power for the
jacuzzi jets and the tub. I love it. I had the yelder. I loved that. I'll show you the tag. Stop
fucking walking around because this mic picks up everything and she's walking around upstairs and I'm so happy to have you. I'm so happy to have you. I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you.
I'm so happy to have you. I'm so happy to have you. I'm telling you I'm working on something. So I might be up there sooner than later.
Get some strippers up there, Jill. If you want Bobby to show up, get some strippers on your boat.
His wife is the greatest lady. I've never met anyone that would put up with more shit than his wife.
Don't fucking ruin the stripper line with my wife.
Roger, it's good to talk to you again. It's good to see. Likewise.
I, you know, I am available. So let's get something going.
Yeah, you're netty. Who? I'm done with you.
You're netty. Me and you, he's going to be fucking hook it up with
Kalta.
Joe doesn't know any strippers. He's useless.
Oh man, I went out with strippers.
My brother ratted on me. My mother said, what's her name?
I said, she's not a stripper. She said, what's her name?
Is it Autumn blue?
All right, man. Well, listen, check out the movie, everybody.
Check out Joe's website. And if you see him, go see a standup comedy
and go watch some of Rogers movies because
Jackie is fucking amazing.
I'm going to go check out that area 51 one and six days in Roswell.
Always fucking funny, but always interesting.
Always got a comedy slang to it.
So thanks for coming on guys.
Really appreciate it.
That was fun.
Thank you.
You guys take care, man.
Rodgers ahead of his time because Rodgers got a bunch of documentaries and pilots that are all about
almost, he was like reality before reality. Like he did documentaries about weird fucking people and now that's all that's on TV. He did the Trekkie thing. He's got a couple of the ones. He's got one
about a preacher. He's got one about people who run around chase auctions
called the Possum Run.
I mean, he was ahead of his time with that stuff.
Yeah, yeah, he was, I think, and he's really, I mean,
I mean, this movie, it really fucking talented.
I like this movie a lot.
Yeah, it was good.
I mean, I rewatched it again this last week.
And it's one of those movies.
You can just sit down and watch over and over again.
Yeah.
Anywho, that was a great show.
Good stuff.
Good to talk to Joe.
You know, he was my fucking mentor, dude.
He was like, there wasn't for him.
I wouldn't be doing comedy. He's got that quality about him.
Like, it's fatherly and not an old guy kind of way.
Yeah. And he would let me do my, a lot of guys wouldn't let me do my standup
back then. They wanted me to be clean and, and, and, and, and be fucking
politically correct or whatever. He let me just go up on all his shows.
And I would open for him and fucking,
he didn't give a fuck what I did. Yeah. You know, you know, many, many times that he let me stay at his
house or, you know, took me in. What are you looking at? What's going on over there? You're watching the
game? One one. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for I'm, I'm opening up about my good friend and
you're worried about a fucking hot. I will never be that guy that appreciates and the mental story.
All right, great show.
Mars one day, what do we have tomorrow tomorrow? What do we get? I don't know where moushes.
Tomorrow, we do not have a guest, but Thursday we have Rich Voss and Friday we have
Ann Verg.
Wooey!
That's not here, remember.
Why don't you have Thursday?
Thursday is my son's birthday.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
I'll tell you what, I'll be honest with you about some.
Yeah, please.
On Friday show.
Yeah.
I will tell you everything that I bought for my son
for his 14th birthday.
Give me an idea of what you think you
spend on your son money-wise for his 14th birthday.
$1,000.
Would you spend $1, dollars on max for the birthday?
Everybody's working.
What are you talking about? I did.
If you add everything up that I spend,
a barbecue clown, Ben and Jerry's.
Yeah, I'm not.
I'm not.
All right, you want to throw the party in.
I'm spending.
I'm spending fucking five grand.
I think I'm getting close to that right now.
I mean, we're approaching five grand. Yeah, I mean, we're cutting it down. I mean, this year we cut it down, but he only turned 14
once. That's, you know, it's his first year in high school. He's getting fucked because he's got
to do high school from home. Yeah, plus you got a job. You're making some good money.
And my those will spend it. You're not taking it with you. We're going to any V's for his birthday.
I love any V's. I want that seafood tower so bad.
Would you ever go on a vacation just to eat food?
What?
I'm thinking about going to San Francisco for the weekend just to eat.
Why?
It's a shit city.
I know.
I just want to go there to eat.
Go to eat.
Open right now. Well, that's the thing
That's why I'm not going because Tampa fly straight to San Francisco and Swiggy's from San Francisco
So I probably convinced him to go although that pitch isn't eat, but I want to fly two San Francisco eat lunch dinner
Go to bed wake up the next day eat breakfast lunch and dinner and then come home on Sunday
Yeah, I don't understand I don't why don't, I, why would you go there?
Just go to fucking somewhere better than that.
I want to go to eat this is my thing. I want to go to each place and eat food
that's known from that place. What are you going to eat? What's San,
San Francisco's not known for food. See food. No Boston.
Well, I definitely want different kind of seafood, but definitely,
I mean, I've eaten lobster and main. I would love to go to Boston. I would love to go to Maryland and
get crabs. Okay, I did once. I got, I got crabs in Boston. I'm a red hero. You know,
you know, I beat you. I beat you. I beat you. I don't know how to comment in the comments, but yes,
Arty Lang has been on my show several times.
How is already doing?
Does anybody know?
I don't know, but that's kind of good.
No, no hearing about Arty is usually good.
No news is good.
Genose.
And then you bailed out of the little video for a second.
What happened?
Me?
Yes, my disappeared. I hit the fucking wrong button and it
logged me out. So I had to log back in right away.
The thing now moushes on top and you're on bottom.
Now you're on the left and I'm on the right.
That's fine. I don't mind that.
Yeah, fucking San Francisco stinks.
I love San Fran to go there, but to go there for food is ridiculous.
There's nothing that they're known for.
I don't see food, Chappino.
They're not known for seafood, buddy.
What name is your Delhi chocolate?
Name a San Francisco dish.
Chappino.
A dish. Iino. A dish.
That is a dish.
What is it?
Would you say mush?
I'm not gonna repeat it,
because I already know what's gonna happen.
I didn't hear any of it at all.
That's it, who's that guy?
Exactly.
Why don't, it's out of context now.
Well, whatever. Listen, they do not have a dish.
Did you have this and fucking Pacino is not a dish seafood,
Chappino, CIO, PPI, nobody knows San Francisco for see.
Look at Miami Cuban sandwich Boston, clam chowda,
Maine lobster, New York pizza.
Florida, nothing, Tampa, nothing. Okay, great. Philly, steak and cheese.
Boom, Buffalo, Wayne. Pete and I were so fat together that after a Eagles box game,
we went to Genos and got cheese steaks because you had to.
And then what's the one across street? Peats. Is it peat? I don't know, but they're like rival. Cheese steak. And when we got back
to the hotel, we were like, well, why do we go to Genos? Not the other one. They're both famous.
So we sent a cab driver before Uber Eats to go get us cheese things from the other place.
We're like, we're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're like, we're here. We invented
oberides for sure. You invented two fact guys and Philly invented
Uber Eats. Pete's. I'd eat it if it was here. Dude, I'd say
right now, I did the same thing. I went from pizza to genos, but
the best place is Tony looks. I think now we have to go back.
Tony looks to get the pork we have to go back. Tony
Luke's to get the pork sandwich
with the broccoli. And there's
another place inside of a food
joint inside a downtown
Philly. Unfuckin' believable.
But all right, so tomorrow
night we'll be here at seven o'clock.
Same time since you know, my
culture mush.
Want to make the announcements here.
I make sure you follow YKWD at YKWD on jeep on Instagram, follow us on Twitter, follow us on Facebook.
Make sure you go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly,
Koutin Kelly, Monday through Sunday,
Suicide Day, Jerk off party on Saturday nights.
We dress up, have fun with the fans on Zoom.
Okay, let's, you guys hang in here for a second
when we're in the show, but you guys have a great night
and we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Bye-bye.
Bye, yeah.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
you