Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Just Stay Home | Rosebud Baker, Brendan Sagalow and Mike Feeney

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

This weeks YKWD Bobbys joined by Rosebud Baker, Brendan Sagalow and Mike Feeney to talk Brendans NEW album and room lighting, 80's metal haircuts, intergender body maintenance and turning heel on your... friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos lía.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las de circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.
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Starting point is 00:01:30 You're ruining this! We're the bargainer. I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This the original.
Starting point is 00:01:40 The original. Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Richie Everybody on this platform. Jo Rogan, Billy Burr, Berk, Christchah, Tom Sataro, whatever. Fucking Billy, Dr. Nudo, Saratara TV, and whoever these people are. Yeah. Yeah. I'm back. Look at me. I'm fucking side. Look at his fucking.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Ooh. What are you using? What kind of camera is that? None of your business, because I'm the king of zoom. I'll never give my seat kiss away to a goon. Welcome everybody to YKWD, the longest run and funny podcast on the East Coast. I may say that and I actually pulled up a, it was funny. I think came up, let me introduce everybody, Gabby,
Starting point is 00:02:46 introduce everybody and stop person your lips. Hello, I will continue to purse my lips. We have Rosebud Baker and Brendan Sagaloo. Hello. Hi, everybody. Hello. Of course, we have Mushi Mike in the background. Mushi there.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Hey. I think I believe I have a theory slowly dying or transitioning in San Antonio. Potato. What the fuck is happening? And Gabby, of course, is Gabby. I have a... is Gabby. I have a... You're running through, baby. So anyways, I was outside playing baseball with Max. I'm so glad he's playing fucking sports. You guys know nothing about this, because you're selfish young comedians. You want nothing to do with children,
Starting point is 00:03:41 but at some point, Rose Budden, when you're 50 and you decide to... You're. Yeah, because cats aren't doing it anymore for you. Okay, first of all, don't pay this like I'm some complete different person that you don't get to just make a joke about somebody else. Okay. I don't know what that means. I'm on Bobby's side. I'm going to be like, you're on Bobby's side because you're a sick offant. And Bobby, you're making a joke about a woman who's single living in Brooklyn when I'm married and I'm actively letting them finish inside me. So are you letting me crawl down your leg like usual?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Of course, like a lady. That's how my grandma taught me to do it. You know what's really good? And you can see it on her ankle. What, let me ask you question there. Let me ask you a question there. Fucking iron made in hair from 1987. Damn, damn, damn, damn.
Starting point is 00:04:53 You look at one father. You look at one father. You look at one father. We climb to the mountains. We see at least now the joke is about me. You were making up something else. It was bugging me. I thought he was talking about me.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Again, he really didn't have our hair. She really does have lead singer hair. Well, this is kind of want to change. You know, when Joe will be want to go to the half cut. What a day of no fun. Mean mean. Hi. Ah.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Ah. Ah. Woo. What's up? It comes most day. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Rob. Oh, my. Holy shit. comes motion. I'm for the holy shit. Rum for your life. Look up Lord far quad from Shrek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one that that's the one that I see whenever whenever I look in the mirror and I go, oh, that's what I see. What's,
Starting point is 00:06:05 anyways, listen, are you really, you're letting him fucking let it go? Yeah. And how does it, how does it, like, look, how does it feel? Well, how does that feel to let somebody do that inside, to have somebody put something in you, and then it in you, like, how does, I don't know how that feels like I would yeah
Starting point is 00:06:27 How does that feel what does it feel when hot come is inside of you? You don't feel the temperature of it. Oh, that's perfect. That's the guy same chest here, too. Yeah Max same tits It doesn't you don't feel a temperature of it, Brendan. Really? Because I've always been under the, you're not like, you're not like, oh, your come is cold. It's warm.
Starting point is 00:06:53 You're kind of freezing right now. Let us someone to you and it was cold. I'd be, I'm pretty sure that's like a situation where you're like I spell was just cast on me. Yeah. Oh, do you not like my cold goo? You just fucked a vampire. You just fucked a wizard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 So no, but what does it feel like like when you're having somebody ejaculate in you? Is there any difference? Can you feel a difference? Do you know when ejaculate in you, can't is there any difference? Can you feel a difference? Do you know when a guy comes in you is my question? You know what it feels like? This is the perfect, perfect description. You know when you haven't had enough potassium in your eyelid and your eyelid flickers, like your eyelid spasms?
Starting point is 00:07:39 Yeah. Feels like that inside you. That's exactly what it feels like. I feel like your vagina needs some sleep. Is what you're making. Yeah. Like your vagina is having a stroke.'s exactly what it feels like I feel like your vagina needs some sleep. Yeah, like you're Agnostic having a stroke feels like it feels like because you can feel her dick like doing the thing You know what I mean where it's like? You know, oh Yeah, yeah, you can feel it you can feel it coming, you know, you can't feel the calm
Starting point is 00:08:02 You don't feel the calm at all you don't feel the calm at all, but it does feel like the inside of you is twitching. You don't feel like your pH is just ruined immediately? No I do. You do feel that way? Yeah. I went into the bathroom. Yeah, we have a pool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:19 A pH level is your vagina's health essentially, like Pokemon your vaginal No, is there a Stig vaginal Environment is there a little stick you can get and put it in your pussy and then pull it out and see what College like a thermometer little dick then I'm Do that you can piss on it you can see if it if it changes colors and put it up to the bottle and see if you're healthy
Starting point is 00:08:47 or not. Yeah. Yeah. There's a rumbo they make specifically for that. Me and Brennan are just stepping on each other's jokes as we have 900 jokes. I just don't want you to say what I'm about to say. You have alkaline alkalinity in your put. What is up with vaginas? Nobody really knows. I mean, not even the doctors seem to understand what the fuck is going on. Because I'll go to the doctor and they'll be like, have you tried vinegar? And I'm like balsamic? Yeah, you want me to put it in me? Like they'll just ask you to like sit and uh googger or something. Sit what? When the doctor says, have you tried vinegar have you went i dated one for oh vinegar okay i
Starting point is 00:09:48 Jesus christ fucking edgelord edgelord in his pink room you really do look like a twitch stream douche bag i'm about to play halo 19. His audience is entirely Japanese. What's up, Pete? Gabby, your coffee cup is annoying and large. It's big, it's big, it's big. Yeah, it's so big. Look at big.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Big is my own. That's a soup cup. Yeah, put a bunch of tea in it trying to get this party started. I just, I don't understand because you have a hole in you that is open to the outside world. And stuff can go in it. It's pretty amazing that the body keeps you, I mean, you should die. If you have a vagina, you should be dead Yeah, with by the time you're seven. Well, the first time you wear jeans without underwear. You should be dead
Starting point is 00:10:52 Scariest thing you could ever do. Yeah, that's so disgusting. Yeah Why is that disgusting? It just makes me feel like itchy, you know, yeah What having a vagina of feel like itchy, you know. Yeah. You're so gross. What? Having a vagina of fantasizing about having one. No, vagina in jeans. I was about to say without any, I almost said panties. I'm still so uncomfortable. I'm full piece of shit without any panties.
Starting point is 00:11:16 You guys have needed my favorite real diamond song. Hey, dude, but you have to feed my favorite ill diamond song. Hey, do you have to feed it? What? What? You're a generic bird. You saw a woman give birth. But do you have to feed it at all?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Is that an old fish? Hang on. I'm just saying you have to put stuff in it to keep it balanced. Manlenced. Jesus Christ. Do you have to put stuff in it to keep it balanced? Some balanced. Um, Jesus Christ. Imagine Bobby being your gynecologist. You got to put stuff in it to keep it balanced. I know you don't have to put stuff in it, but you, it like if there's actually yeah if you get a yeast infection you have to put like cream in it and then it's like
Starting point is 00:12:11 side of it. Yeah, and then it like drips out for the rest of the day. You're gonna put the cream in it. Like a hemorrhage. Like a hemorrhage. Yeah. And you have to put, I love that you know exactly what that was, too, by the way. Yeah. And he's got hemorrhoids. Why would you fuck? You can't just rat your husband out like that. Right.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Because I'm a husband. You can't just rat him out that he has ruins. What's the point of having a husband? You can't, but what the fuck does that mean? Well, I mean I can say whatever now So you married him just to fuck and get another 20 what the fuck? Partly now that have you seen his Roy's? No, they're not that bad How do you know and they're not that bad? I? Haven't seen them so I'm assuming they're not that bad. I haven't seen them. So I'm assuming they're not that bad.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Not adding up. Good catch brand and good catch. I haven't seen them. How would they be that bad? You said, I like come look at my hemorrhoids. They're so so bad. I need you to look at them. There was no right now. There was no conversation like that Which would lead to a divorce immediately Yeah, looks like that So you have to let me just ask you a question here So you have to put that in your vagina and then squeeze stuff in it Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:13:39 And then and then it stays in there and then it it it drips out all day And then and then it stays in there and that it drips out all day. It tells like a like yogurt into your underwear. Yeah, you got to do it at night so that it doesn't drip out all day. Yeah. Does it not feel comfortable to put the thing in you? Like would you want like, I don't know, say like a guy to do it? No, no one wants you to do that last thing I would want. No one wants a guy with painted nails.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Air pussy Yeah, nobody wants Can I ask another question now that we're on this? Yeah. How do you clean your vagina? Like is everybody the same? For a vagina? For a vagina. Better. For a vagina.
Starting point is 00:14:32 For a vagina. There's a lot of different ways you can clean it. How do you clean your stink recall? Is that better, Gabby? Horrible. Horrible. It's the worst thing I've ever heard. Yeah, how do you clean your cum dumps? I mean, I'm in my mid 30s and I've never heard something that disgusting
Starting point is 00:14:52 for a vagina. That's wild. That's stinking. Brinkle. That Brendan looks like he's zooming from inside of a vagina. Wow, it's so widen here. It's a little mystical. It is. It looks like the set of you for. Yeah. It's like Rhode Island. Do you? Let me ask you a question. Do you like, do you wash? Do you just rub the outside of it? Or do you put soap inside? You can't. So if a giant is our self cleaning, so you can't put soap inside of it. You'll walk up the pH. If you put soap inside of it. Walk up the pH. If you put soap inside of it, you'll fuck yourself up and it'll, and it'll,
Starting point is 00:15:30 everything will go haywire. So vaginas are like a bio dome. Yeah, exactly disgusting. I think I've read blogs that describe it that way. It's actually pretty amazing if you think of vagina is self cleans itself. Yeah. Take care of itself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Some of them. Some of them. Some of them. Some of them. Some of them. Some of them dirty themselves. Here's the thing. Some of them in the middle of trying to take care of themselves were treated badly and
Starting point is 00:16:02 just forgot how. Sarah was sorry. This isn't Sarah said, I picked the wrong episode to watch my family. Listen, it actually is a great episode because I'm not really, I'm really not trying to be discussing them over the genus. I'm trying, I'm asking questions with two girls that I don't know about vaginas. I've never about to ask. Now I know vaginas is like a biodome itself cleaning. Why am I hearing an echo? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:16:35 You know, Rosebud and Lately and so long this is this conversation is going on. Are you wearing headphones, Red Rosebud? No, I'm not. There's no echo when you talk. so I think it's coming from you. It's coming from, it's just sort of things too loud. Yeah, it's turning your volume down a little bit, Rosba. Okay, I'm turning it down. Is this better? Yeah. Why aren't our assholes self-cleaning? Wait, wait, stop! They are! I swear on our assholes self-cleaning. Wait, wait, stop! They are. I-I-I-I-stop!
Starting point is 00:17:06 They are! Stop! They are! They are! I learned about this recently. Your diet is what makes it so our-we have to wipe our asses. It's so disgusting. Dogs, no other-what are other animal wipes?
Starting point is 00:17:21 A dog can take-shht, pump out a log and go and sit on the couch. Wow. There's no wiping. They shit and it zips up and it's done. From the last time you had a wipe your dog's asshole. Very rare. My dog's asshole does not zip up after. Well, it scoots is up.
Starting point is 00:17:42 You know, like a little scoots. It scoots is. It sc, like a little it scoaches. It scoaches up. We're not supposed to we're supposed to shit and then get up. Do you have to take a shit? It's so healthy and nice. You don't have to wipe and there's nothing there. Yes, I have. That's what that's the way your shit's supposed to be. Yeah, it does. It pinches.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yep, you're supposed to pinch it off like a little sausage dispenser and walk away. That's the thing. It's clean cleaning. That just means the things we're putting in it is in dirty or the things that's coming out of it isn't dirty. I mean, if you get in technical, I was happy I had a fax about something. I'm sorry. I didn't know we're an asshole court.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I didn't understand. That's the fuck. I mean, would you learn improv? Asjection your honor. Sorry, I thought that deserves something. It deserves not. What it got, which was two laughs from you guys, you ladies. Yeah. So. Okay. Well, Bobby's not giving it anything. And I'm sorry, I was just confused. I was, I got mesmerized by fucking disco ball, fucking lights. Should I, should I change the lights? I know.
Starting point is 00:19:05 by fucking disco ball fucking lights. Should I change the lights? I know. Not at all. Leave them. They're perfect. Oh, I'm going to miss trying so hard to be Gabby's room. It's crazy. And Gabby's trying so hard to be the king of zoom. One day I'll get there. So anyways, I want to, a couple of things I want to talk about. Brendan, first of all, you have the albums came out. Yes, if you're listening to this in the future, yeah, it came out on Friday. Sorry, it would played on serious all weekend.
Starting point is 00:19:38 It's been playing on serious all weekend. It had a four exclusive, which was very meaningful to me, because I used to listen to like, you know, I used to listen to you on Pandora. So it means a lot to me, you know. That's great, but you're excited. How was the response for people getting good response? It's great.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Yeah, yeah, everybody's really positive about it. And anyone who's negative isn't saying shit. I haven't gotten a negative review on it like a tweet to me or anything yet. So why would you say that? I know. I don't know. They're gonna flood in. Stop Gabby. Don't. Gabby. He's prompting it. How dare you. You're prompting it. No one do it. No one tell me. I'm gonna say something shitty about Brendan's album. I'm gonna do it. Okay. I'm gonna head to YouTube and I'm gonna head to Sirius and I'm gonna say something shitty about Brendan's album. I'm gonna head to YouTube and I'm gonna head to serious and If you're gonna leave the review what would the review be rose? Oh, no, don't do this. I okay. Here's here's those I was the same question
Starting point is 00:20:34 I asked no, I'm sure you didn't listen to it, but yeah go to say say your little review You know what you're real Snydery Mark in front of fun. Yeah, yeah, I'm not up, Brendan filter and not being fucking mean right now. I would say I Why is it when Brendan is bombing? Why does he bomb like this? He'll he'll say the joke He'll double down on the joke. He'll make it worse Then he'll apologize then he'll shit on the, and then he'll threaten to kill himself. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:06 That's what I would ask. Yes. I'd be like, why is that the phase is? And that all happens in the span of five seconds. Yeah. I've seen it. I go, wow, kids are weird. We should come in them.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Just kidding. I'm not a pedophile. I'm so sorry. I fucking hate myself. You guys suck. I'm going to kill myself. There's always one moment where you blame the audience. I fucking hate myself. You guys suck. I'm going to kill myself. There's always one moment where you blame the audience and then threaten suicide.
Starting point is 00:21:40 I love that you're doing kids weird. Look, you should come in them. He does. He does something so much worse. I turn I Turned I turn heel very fast if I feel like I don't like the audience if I don't like that I turn heel you turn heel on your friends too You've turned heel on me a couple times very fast. I will turn heel. I'm very sensitive Heal on me a couple times very fast. I will turn he on very sensitive.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Oh. I'm going to think like women like me. Yeah, I'm in like you because they know they're not you're not going to try to fuck them. Well, that can't be true. I've tried to fuck everybody in this room. Even you. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Well, are we recording? Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah. I love that. We did exactly what I was talking about. You did it. You did it. You leave him in silence for long enough. He will fully, you'll hear everything he's ever thought.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Yeah, yeah. And then he'll apologize. You didn't try to bang Rosebud, did you? No. No. Rosebud's a man. You've never tried to bang me. Why would you? Rosebud's a man in Gabby's a lizard. I don't want to bang anybody here. Exactly that. Where are you going this weekend Rosebud? Oh, I'm going to Naples Naples Comedy Club and then I'm going to Tampa Not Naples comedy club off the hook comedy club in Naples and then tonight you're doing there Two nights in Tampa and one night in Naples. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:23:27 He's only has your one night. What night? Tomorrow, tomorrow night, which is the 90th. Yeah. Yeah. Why is there the 19th? You'll be in off the
Starting point is 00:23:39 comedy club in Naples. Yeah. That's great. 20th and 21st. I'll be at sides, blitters in Tampa. That's awesome. And how what capacity? On Tuesday, Tuesday, the 19th. Right. Whatever. And what? What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Tuesday, 19th. Yeah. Okay. Tuesday, 19th. Thanks much. Yeah. Yeah. Mush just on mush dust. That's weird, that never happens. I know, I also hear my own echo now, so I'm turning myself down more. But, do you have headphones? Yeah, I do. Well, where are your headphones, you fucking nut? All right, I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I'll use that inside splitters check, get yourself some headphones. Yeah, make sure you make sure you Tampa and Southern Florida, make sure you go and and check her out if you're down there. Is it me now? No, it's not you. Maybe it's me. Hello. What's that? It was a little bit of both of you. Wow, looks like the king of zoom has been dethroned. Yeah, that's who's in town. The queen, baby. Me, the queen. Me, the queen on my dad's laptop from 2003. Wow. But to be fair, your dad could afford a laptop that was made for 2020 in 2003.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Sure. He likes to keep it old. Okay. I fixed it. Her dad has a time machine. That's how much money he has. So we were talking before about her going on the road and other comics. Yeah. I'm worried about it because there's comics that are talking shit about other comics going on the road. And the ones that are doing it have so much
Starting point is 00:25:26 Fucking money that they don't have to and make me want to fucking kill somebody. I get so pissed So fucking mad these comics that are like they're like you shouldn't be performing at all or inside It's like hey, I have bills. I don't know about you I have bills and I don't have any other skills here So what do you want me to do, man? What do you want me to do? I have no fucking idea. It's like listen if I had a writing job that I could do from my house I would do it and I wouldn't go on the road, but I don't have that and I
Starting point is 00:25:56 Got to make some money. So I'm going to fucking Tampa Which is like the asshole of the virus to do this fucking show. And go back to my hotel room and sit in there and then come home after I, they cut me a check. And it's like, you know, I, I just don't understand the, it's also these people that just have so much fucking money. And Bobby, you said it perfectly when you were like, it's the same storm, but it's not the same fucking boat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Well, it's true. Yeah, I think it's just, I mean, it's infuriating because these people sit upon their thrones and they don't have the same perspective, but they think they do. They're giving advice and they're telling people what the fuck to do from high up there and they don't understand Hey, you don't have to worry about anything Yeah, you don't have to but you're buying shit That for shits and giggles Right, and you you have you you have a couple houses or you have money in the bank you can last a couple years
Starting point is 00:27:03 You can last more than a couple of years. And you don't have the responsibility that some of us have. And like you said, you could do other things. If you're a stand-up comedian, the only thing you have is stand-up comedy. And this is the one thing, you're not breaking the law. You're not flying because you're not like taking a secret flight to Tampa and being smuggled in against the law. It's legal to book a flight, go to Tampa, get tested if you want to. You go to the club, they're legally open in Tampa. Yeah, yeah, and and you can
Starting point is 00:27:50 Quarantine yourself and the club stand the back don't talk to anybody. Use your own mic go to the hotel Don't find all the hotels are safe listen wall mart's open Ralph's is open all these places are doing their fucking jobs But you're telling comics hey your piece of shit You they really fuck it. I mean that's, that's some snobbery shit right there. Especially people who I swear to God if there are some people who I've read like tweets from that I'm like, this is somebody who could buy a house if they couldn't find a hotel room for one night. You know what I mean? And they have the fucking audacity to be like, don't do it. You know, be a good person. And I'm, don't do it, be a good person.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And I'm like, this isn't about being a good person, you're fucking rich. Hey, don't, how was it? How about this? You don't want people to do it? Donate a couple million dollars. Yeah. To these comics that need to go on the road to get food
Starting point is 00:28:40 and survive, donate a couple million dollars and give them money. Give them money. Yeah. Pay my house off. Pay my mortgage off. I'll stay home. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I'll pay the fuck off. Sell one of your houses or sell one of your fucking exotic animals or sell your fucking tiger or sell one of your fucking mint condition, you know, cars from the 1920s that you had redone. Sell one of your portions. Yeah, fuck up. Yeah, I'm a lady, a drug addict. I understand where you're coming from,
Starting point is 00:29:17 and you can have that conversation, but when you go publicly and try to shame comics that have to, do you go publicly and try to shame comics that have to, do you think I will travel? I can't even promote my gigs, because I feel like if I promote my gigs, I'm gonna get you on. You know, fuck that.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Fuck that, listen, we're trying to appease everybody. Those people don't give a fuck about you. They don't care about you. They're probably not even talking about you. You call them and say, I got to do, oh no, you can do it. I know you know how to do it safe. I've had those conversations with people. I know you, but some of these people, oh, okay, go fuck yourself. We're also like so, you know, at our level too, like we're so accustomed to like, oh man, if people don't like us,
Starting point is 00:30:06 then we're not going to get this and not get this opportunity. And we're at a time where nobody can help anybody. So I have lost all fucks to give on someone else's opinion. I need to do what I need to do. Fuck, I don't give a shit anymore. If you think what I'm doing is a bad thing, I have to make money. So unless you want to pay me, then I'm going to do what I got to do. si pensé que estoy haciendo una cosa tan buena, tengo que hacer lo que hay, así que si quieres pelear, entonces voy a hacer lo que he hecho.
Starting point is 00:30:41 de 19 euros. Volotea. Sarifa sujeta a su disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. You shouldn't give a fuck and the people that are giving these little things out, you know, they just don't get it. They don't understand it. And they won't, because they don't live in the same atmosphere as you. They don't. And it's fucked up too, because it's like like I go on you know, there's really no
Starting point is 00:31:06 Real direction for us to turn in in terms of like what's okay? What's not okay because it's like I'll turn on the news and some fucking reporters like crying outside of a hospital Because like they've seen another person die this week and it's like Jesus Christ They're like please stay home and I'm like What the fuck like I'm like I gotta fuck like I got to pay my rent you know so you feel I mean I didn't see anybody chime in on Dave Chappelle when he was flying everybody into his compound yeah I didn't see I didn't see one of those fuckers chime in with a tweet, hey, Dave, you shouldn't be,
Starting point is 00:31:47 you should shut this down. Stop flying comics in from all over the country. To be part of this thing. I know you're doing it, say, no, of course they didn't, because he's Dave Chappelle. And Dave Chappelle found a way to do it safe, have a safe show. And then when someone had Corona,
Starting point is 00:32:02 he shut the fucking thing down. Comedy clubs do the same thing. If something happens, they'll shut it the fuck down. They'll do it. Yeah. They're annoyingly cautious about it. To the point where we're like, Jesus fucking Christ, they're like, they're wiping the mic between everybody. Yeah, they think we're going into a pack club. It's fucking nuts. And I go in.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Even a sold-out crowd is like, you're sold out. No one's, you're getting out at no one's you're getting 50% of the audience. So these comics that have sold out three shows. Yeah at 25 people to show My first question is Gabby are you okay? Yes, why all right? I'm just I got a lot of I got a lot of questions Why is it just this? No, you see are you looked a little like hot like red like I was worried but it might just be your lighting. It's the lighting is horrible. Well Gabby holds your breath in between talks so commercial lips. Well Gabby every time I join this Gabby always looks
Starting point is 00:33:13 like she's in like a model shoot. She's always got like her hair is like blowing in the background winds of the day. Now she's just like hoodie and red and just ready to go. I'm in my parents' base that there's a lot going on, bud. First of all, yeah. Gabby dresses like a fucking punk rock lead singer from the 70s. My shoe. I have a horrible outfit on, actually. It's just terrible.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Look at this. She's awful. Actually, my wife has those. That's actually my wife. That's like Mike Cannon's whole motif. That's how he dresses like now. He wears those pants and big hoodie. So we're just we're just talking about, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:51 Sagalo and Rosebud are going on the road and you know, these people are giving other comics are giving comic shit For having to take road gigs like there's somehow the car Why'd you get shit to? No, but I know exactly who you're talking about and it's the same. Yeah, of course. Yeah, we're thinking of a specific person. We're not talking about a specific person, but Brendan knows who we're who I know. No, what's I want to know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there was just there was a there was a comic Who made a post about it and You better fucking say who it was say it
Starting point is 00:34:30 Because they're one of your good friends. So we'll wait till I see one of my friends. No, no, no I don't know if you know who they are Bobby one of my friends Couple I've seen a couple of these fucking comics making statements. Yeah, whatever. And here's the thing, they're good. They're good. I'm friends with them.
Starting point is 00:34:51 They are good people, but you know, very high and mighty on social media while also. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me. Just say it. We can't say it in the private chat. Oh, okay. Can I say it in the private chat? But I feel like other people will see it. I don't say it in the private chat. Oh, okay. Can I say in the private chat? But I feel like other people see it. I don't trust the
Starting point is 00:35:07 Procure. I would chat you fucking idiot. It's just us. Yeah, they don't even know who they don't know who you're talking about. Yeah, we don't know you Yannis promise Yannis when out of his way to go do Rogan he's fucking he's throwing himself right into the covid petri dish But the other thing is people flying into the rug and every week and nobody's given him shit Nobody's telling those comics their ass. Oh, no, of course not. That's the thing It's like it's like these people are making these fucking crazy statements, you know, but you're also you have a lot of money. So if there's somebody you see that's going on the road as a millionaire, just call them up and go, Hey, dude, can I give you what are they paying you this week? Are they giving you two 2500 bucks? I'm gonna give you 3000,000, stay home. Because that, it means that much to me, stay home.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Okay, five, canceled, goodbye. If you're gonna go on, if you're gonna go on social media and you're gonna say, you know, please, please, just don't go. If you're gonna act like it's the most important fucking thing in the world to you, then, you know, put some money behind it. I guess. It's also missing from the specific posts of comments. I'm not talking about the millionaire comics that can give us money.
Starting point is 00:36:29 The comics that are on our level, the thing that's missing from these posts is them saying, I was emailed by a comics warehouse and I said no, blah, blah, blah. No idiot, you're not getting booked. So you have no fucking empathy for us that are having these opportunities that we don't think might ever come back and also the government isn't helping us. So what the fuck? You know, and you're living in one of the most expensive cities in the world. And also, this was supposed to go on for two months. Yeah. And then three months. It's going on a year now. They have the vaccine. They're rolling the shit out as slow as they could fucking possibly roll it out. And comics
Starting point is 00:37:11 have been deemed unessential from the get go, including artists and musicians and all these people just fuck you. Goodbye. Restaurants. I mean, it's, it's a hard thing to deal with. And I think we shouldn't be fucking. I understand because it's hard because people die. Like you don't know anybody. I didn't know anybody who fucking died. I didn't know what fucking soul. Everybody's like, people, millions of people who died. I go, I haven't met one. And then all of a sudden, I, I know one and then two, and then there's a bunch of people, oh, Oh shit people are really fucking falling off from this thing So it's you know and all the news sucks and there's no you know, I mean you're I'm not taking advice or news of fucking anything From some stupid comic on social media. I am not I'm not going. Hey, man
Starting point is 00:38:02 Hey, honey, guess what I just heard from fucking stupid on fucking Twitter, fuck you, you're a, I have a theory too and it's not even about like, you know, this person specifically whatever, but just people that are doing this is I feel like it's a, they're not getting opportunities like Brendan was saying, so it's a little more, it's a, it's a twinge of jealousy, but then it's also the thing of like how social media now has become into this high and mighty like, clapter audience where it's like, you go girl, you're saying the right thing
Starting point is 00:38:32 and that's what we all should be saying. So good for you for saying the obvious that people should be safe during a pandemic. Yeah. Yeah, I, I just think it's a bunch of snob shit. You're comics, man. It's just shut the fuck up. It's so snobby.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Shut the fuck up. Say what you want to say. And if there's people that are doing shit that you care about, call them up personally on the fucking phone. To go on social media is such a... You're just getting jerked off. You're just looking for the hearts. Like the great
Starting point is 00:39:05 Keith Robb. You're clout chasing motherfucker. You just saying because, you know, it's so oh my, so dangerous to say, Hey, don't stay home. That's so edgy. You're so risky. I also happen to know one or two of these offenders who who are doing like this, who started out being like, I can't believe anybody's doing shows, comics just fucking grow up and stop doing shows who are now going to be headlining some clubs in the very near future. And then their thing was like,
Starting point is 00:39:35 well, I saw these people are doing it and if they're okay, then I assume that I'm going to be fun. You're like, how quickly it turns when you get the offer. Yeah. So people forget that we used to get our decision making from our parents and our friends in ourselves, and then we would put all the information from people we trust, and then we, in our head,
Starting point is 00:39:58 and then we like, I'm gonna, you know, this is me, I'm gonna do this, right? Now, we go on stupid Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and we listen to some shithead who's got $10 million in their bank and for talent dick jokes and they got lucky because they got a part in something and we're listening to them like they're the fuck that you should be you should be evaluating the situation in your own head finding out your own facts and then making your decision on that Not on some twat who was a showrunner or on a fucking show Telling you how to live your fucking life, you know, right? Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:40:39 If if they said the if you weren't supposed to fly somebody somewhere You wouldn't be able to fly you wouldn't be able to fly. You wouldn't be able to buy a ticket. You wouldn't be able to stay in a hotel. I mean, that is very, very wrapped up in who the person is that said the thing. The chat is all upset. The chat is going off. I'm like, you don't know them. It doesn't matter. We know that. We know any other. We will tell you who it is in the extra 10 that only goes on patreon.com.sasrabbercal.com at the end of ykwd. We will name names. We're not going to pay for it because comics always do that.
Starting point is 00:41:22 You talk to it, but they don't say who. You know what bothers me about the fucking chat is that here's the thing It's like yeah, we talk shit and we don't say who because that's for us to know you guys get to be a part of the conversation But you just don't get to you know hate the same people that we hate No, baby. We fucking we did it. We look burnt the card in our hand in a basement in greens We did a we look burnt the card in our hand in a basement greens Yeah, this is fucking the mob baby we don't rat Even we don't like you we don't rat you out to the fucking public so they can
Starting point is 00:42:03 Fucking attack you even though psych comics because you know the second you know the second somebody in the chat Finds out who the person we're talking about is they're gonna clip this and tag them and be like And then be like well don't say it if you don't want people to clip it into a wreckly send it to them and start a fight I hope I hope so so this fucking episode shoots to the moon If that's what causes this episode to shoot to the moon I am gonna just become a scorched earth comedian. That's what causes this episode to shoot to the mode, I am going to just become a scorched earth comedian. That's what I'm going to be. Just fucking commenting on comedy, like every successful comedian.
Starting point is 00:42:33 It's going to shoot to Union Hall in Brooklyn. It's at most. If you do make it in that you give a scorched earth comedian and you make millions, can you please buy Brendan new light? Yeah. He loves this moment. I like the lighting. I think it's perfect.
Starting point is 00:42:53 I also did offer to change it. So you can't, you can't say no because Bobby went, no, keep it. You look like you're in a sex room and Prague right now. You look like someone right off screen sex room and Prague right now. Like someone right off screen is has an open tanning. You look like you're in a black woman's bedroom is actually what you look like. You look like all. Yeah, listen, we, you know, and we will name names in the extra 10 at the end. So if you want them, you get a, we will, we'll name two names, right?
Starting point is 00:43:28 Guys, two names. One big one. I'm not naming any fucking names. Why do these people need to know the fucking names? I don't want to get people to fucking join you. Oh, okay. Sorry. I'll name everybody.
Starting point is 00:43:40 I'm going on. Okay. Here we have five. I'll give you their numbers. We have a $500 tier where we will name the person. So you have to pay $500 and you will know. Nobody gives a fuck that much asshole. Why didn't you get it?
Starting point is 00:43:57 Why do you always get to go way too far? Way too far. We're joking and you'll again. Just kidding. What? a kid, right? I mean, we're like a fuck. Yeah, they're in the room. That's a bad guy. Cut.
Starting point is 00:44:11 I'm in the right line district in Amsterdam. It's beautiful. I know there's a guy downstairs waiting for you to come out to pay you to suck his cock in that room. That's a word. Wow. Pay you to suck his cock in that room I have massage music playing in the background Good my horses I do like Brendan's light though. I honestly I I kind of want lights like that Wow, this whole conversation makes me think that you think I give a shit when any of you think
Starting point is 00:44:42 that you think I give a shit when any of you think. I mean, I don't see a lot of work. A lot of work. You look like you're buying a lot of personality during the. Yeah, I'm like, you want to practice taking that compliment one more time. Yeah. No, this is the head Lord version. This is the blonde hair talking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:00 And mad and when I get mad. Who's to this ass out? Hey, Brandon, there you go, that's better. You look like Molly Ringwall now. You're coming in, you're coming in, Brandon. Brumper's branders is here. Branders. But now I'm frozen.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Come on. Uh oh. What do you told me to freeze? Frozen come on. Uh oh. What do you told me to freeze? I look like a piece of steak hanging on. I want to go on with ice to see you. Ice to see you. Hey, it's not bad much.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I mean, it's it's fucked up. But don't you think? Don't you think, do you ever wish that you could just get on Twitter? Do you ever think, I don't wish, but do you ever think about just getting on Twitter and calling that person out and going, hey, because I guarantee you a lot of times when people call other people out on Twitter, right? You know, that's why I love my hatem. Louis will fucking doesn't care. He'll go to a fucking war with somebody on Twitter. But Kevin Brennan.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, Kevin Brennan, these people don't care. And they'll fucking attack these people. These people are afraid of you. These people saying this, don't wanna be not liked. They don't want people hating them, especially other comics. They're saying this shit and nobody says anything to them. And you could say something, you could say,
Starting point is 00:46:29 hey dude, I gotta work, I don't have money. But here's the thing, is you have some type of dignity where you're not gonna, you know, like it's why we don't wanna name the names. We have some type of code, it's comics. I don't wanna make you look like a dickhead. You know what I mean? I don't wanna do what you're doing. I don't want to make you look like a dickhead. You don't even I don't want to fuck I don't want to do what you're doing. I don't want to go on Twitter use the platform as some soapbox and get other people to fucking attack you or make you feel like shit about yourself because you're not where I'm at. Right. Where do you have the time to we only have a significant a certain amount of energy during the day. So it's like,
Starting point is 00:47:05 why am I going to waste my energy fighting these? Well, I missed that. That's great one. That's the great one. I'm the best at this. I'm the best at this. You're the best at this. I'm the best at this.
Starting point is 00:47:24 If you knew this song, that would be so much better. I do know the song. Sing it. But I forgot the lyrics actually. I'm Mr. Heat Miser. I'm Mr. Sun. I'm Mr. Heat Miser. I'm Mr. I'm Mr. I'm Mr. I'm Mr. I'm Mr.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Oh, yeah. That's all me. So that that's that what is it a movie some movie right? Are you kidding me? Santa Claus is coming to town. Yeah, you understand Rosebud was reading books by a huge fireplace Upstate when she was a baby not what What is it reading? Rosebud's family had immigrants performing those songs Please can I see my son?
Starting point is 00:48:06 Peter. He's a supervisor. Dude, he's my son. Rosebud was having martinis with Bill Murray when she was fucking tan. He looked at Bill Murray and said, no one will ever believe you. You know, there's a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You too I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.
Starting point is 00:48:34 I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. Well, he wraps it up. Funny when you one of your best friends is telling you to wrap it up. We start fading in the the wrap it up music. Why did you request them Rose, bud?
Starting point is 00:48:59 I was just curious if it was a movie. If it's that that little thing, if it's from a a movie it's Santa Claus is coming to town, right? Yeah, I think so or the old weird stop motion creepy one I think it's Rudolph. Oh Rudolph the Red and his reindeer I think so sorry, that's a year with that Santa Claus is what it's called oh I have no idea then Yeah, those movies that's I mean, I'll be honest. That's what I grew up on. Those were my childhood, that was my era of the 70s. That was right in my wheelhouse.
Starting point is 00:49:31 And it makes me sad because things have become so fast and so quick and so elaborate, like Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang and all those movies, I so excited having Max and getting to watch these things. And I remember, I think it was last year, maybe eight months ago. I think it was during the pandemic, maybe someone, I sat down and I got everybody ready and we got popcorn and we had all kinds of, it was awesome and I was like,
Starting point is 00:49:58 we're watching Cheety Cheety Bang Bang, they get a love it, it's so awesome. We'll sing the songs with, I've never realized what a boring fucking shitty shitty bang way. It takes a few minutes to take off and it barely gets off the runway with that stupid flying car and then and I mean they stop watching him and my wife went to bed and I was out by myself watching Chitty, Chitty, and I can't even know Chitty, we would go Chitty. I mean, sweet, sweet, sweet.
Starting point is 00:50:36 All the hits. It's no weird how many movies don't hold up, you know? It's why it's like, I just watched a point break for the first time ever last night and I was I talked to Saguaro right afterwards. I was ready to sky dive naked like I was fucking so amped up Swazie and Keanu Reeves in their both optimal hot and they're just both like adrenaline junk It's the best movie. It's just a blonde blonde Swazie blonde Swazie with a little fate a dusting of facial hair. Get out of my
Starting point is 00:51:07 life. A whisper if you will. A dusting of facial hair. Yeah, I have the idea of Fini being excited about point break point break. And then every once in a while going back to how hot he thought Kiano and Swasey was. I mean, I mean, I'm so mean, I mean, the surfing, the action
Starting point is 00:51:28 and like their dicks were there and everything. Yeah, and their abs were insane. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about it. Swazies not even like find a shirtless Swazie picture from this because it's really his feathered hair that's what makes it, because his chest isn't like bulked up, he doesn't have a six pack, it's not like crazy. You were talking about this way more than anyone thought. He's surfed her body. I'm like, first of all, I thought about it exactly as much as anybody who's ever seen point break.
Starting point is 00:51:58 That's exactly how much I've thought about it. You guys have clearly not seen point break, because otherwise, you'd be well involved in this conversation with me. I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you right now Listen to me. Listen to me. There's nobody Everybody and this is a sleeper and nobody nobody talks about it Jeff bridges in against all odds will I'll put him up against
Starting point is 00:52:18 I'll get Ryan Reynolds Patrick Swayze, Hiano. I'll even put him up against Brad Pitt. Why? Patrick Swayze looked like little even, even at even at P cottoness Patrick Swayze looks like his face was hit with a rock a little bit. He's got a little fucking crumb on him. He's got he's got a pinnacle gene where he's not he's not Brad Pitt pretty. He's like he's he's seems like he's obtainable. Yeah, but he's a thing with him. His chest to he's got the barrel chest. You know what I mean? He's got a little little fucking the like the original Superman chest. Yeah, yeah, bring up Jeff Bridges against all odds. The and make it big mush make them big the hottest
Starting point is 00:53:07 I mean at peak this is at this peak Shredded the best body bring him up bring it up big I'm pretty I'm pretty pushed. Man, it's not him. The other one. That's holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Yeah. You can't fuck with Jeff Bridges against all odds. The sexiest, the most, I mean, listen. Yeah. I mean, Brad Pitt Hart, look at him. Give me another pitch and mush. Give me another one. Yeah, I can't believe how good he looks
Starting point is 00:53:46 Give me some more mush Is he there is he gone, but it's just a lifestyle thing that if you stop like mush, are you there? I'm here all good style thing that if you stop mish are you there? I'm here. I'll take it. All of the knowledge me and say that you hear me. I know that you're not mushing me. Oh my God. For people in the chat that were yelling that I just saw a point prank for the first time. Yeah, I was four when it came out.
Starting point is 00:54:31 So I got around to it now. Get off my fucking ass about it. I don't know. Why are we eating yelling at the day? Careful because they'll turn on you. They started saying they were going to drop my weekend to go see DiPalo. And I was like, well, they're two separate nights. You guys can What? What we got so fucking mad. Why? Why? I don't I don't know. I was like, I saw somebody got mad and then they and then they were like, she ruined, she ruined the weekend for me. Like as if they were gonna come. Follow canceled and they put you in there.
Starting point is 00:55:08 No, depols after me. Yeah, check it out, man. Listen, if you don't think Rose, you don't go see Rosebud at size, but you're an idiot. If you're a comedy fan, if you're a type of comedy and you like a certain thing and you're like, you know, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:23 if you're like a wine, you like wine, okay, you know, if you're like a wine, you look like wine, okay, great. But if you're a full blown alcoholic comedy fan, you need to go see fucking Rosebud. She's hilarious. All three of these, all four of these. Well, all right. Come on. All five of those things.
Starting point is 00:55:39 All five, whatever, right? I mean, I'm completely crazy. I mean, listen, there is definitely. There's definitely way the compliment when you start just dollared it out I would go rosebud and fini and Brendan. Not an album coming out. Brendan, the genuine. Oh man. Now, Brandon, let me tell you something. Your album dude, your album is fucking hilarious man. It is, I just hilarious. It was filmed outside on top of a building in New York City
Starting point is 00:56:08 during the pandemic at a New York comedy club, I believe, right? Yeah, they're caught up. Right, pop up. And he fucking murdered it. He murdered it. And you guys can go check it out this Friday. You can purchase it.
Starting point is 00:56:24 And I suggest you go purchase it. Get yourself his album. Don't fucking steal it. You know, asshole, we're in a pandemic. It's $5. Don't get your Kamel Machiato and just get his thing. Do people stop stealing? I mean, like, is there Napster or anything anymore?
Starting point is 00:56:41 Yeah, Torrance. Yeah, of course there is. Oh, Torrance. If you're gonna, if you want to listen to it for free, let's do it on Spotify or Pandora or something, but at least if you're on Pandora, give us a thumbs up. Give me a thumbs up so that when you listen to me and then you give a thumbs up to Bobby's tracks or Fini's tracks will all be lumped together. You know, yeah, I don't want you to do that. I don't want to be lumped in.
Starting point is 00:57:04 I want to be lumped with other people like bird, petrice. But listen, listen. New materials, that way you want to be lumped into in this next floor. You have fucking climber. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. And it's been, what are we talking about here? We're like, well, we're so fucking, it's one of the greatest cops ever, but we're talking about it. Like, he's like, well, you know, he's right around the corner. So I don't want him to hear this. Like, what are we talking about? Jesus Christ, Peony.
Starting point is 00:57:36 No, it's just one. Peony's like, never ready. I'm on. Squarched earth, Peony. Here I come. Peony's just never experienced grief. He's a great baby. He's fucking fat guys.
Starting point is 00:57:52 And he's going to be a puddle on the floor. I die. Fannie will understand. Yeah. Yeah. We're not going to talk about you like your Patrice just to be here. Well, if I get a fedora, will you? And we're not going to talk about you like your Patrice just to be there. Well, if I get a fedora, will you? No, you got to know.
Starting point is 00:58:14 You're don't keep your bad. Yo, go. How do you how do you think? I don't really pass it up. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:21 You're gonna be all right. I'm up. How do you think you'd be brought up? Let's not do this either because I'm a very fragile state and I I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. I'm not going to get you. Dude and you haven't even sucked dick yet Well, we don't know about that. Have you have you have you been with the guy? No, no, never been with a guy. Not one. Are you gonna be? I don't know who knows who knows Yeah, world is my oyster. Okay, and I'm sick of these clams if you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:59:01 You know, you know, I feel about the wink and the guy Gotta tell Jay doesn't like it. The place this week. We are we are we're going to go into the extra 10 right now all the Patreon people. We're going to be talking about the skit that I filmed with these two knuckleheads this weekend. I feel like I feel like I had I feel like I did something wrong. I feel like I was I had the wrong information on the skit. But we'll talk about that in the extra 10. Rose Bud is going to name names. I'm in a name name. Social security numbers. I'm going to give phone numbers I'm gonna name names, I'm social security numbers. I'm gonna give phone numbers,
Starting point is 00:59:45 and I will give an artist's representation of the description. A renderer. Yes, yes. Well, actually, we're just gonna bring up that person. We're gonna bring up a website. Oh, it's a her. So listen, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.
Starting point is 00:59:59 If you wanna be remembered, all you guys are in the chat right now, you're already a member. So you guys will be here and hear it on the list of that JC Greg. No, Ken Cox, I can mother fuck a Lou everybody. Patreon.com, Sash Robert Kelly. And of course, what do you got? You got Brendan's brand new album is coming out Friday. Yeah, very good for you,
Starting point is 01:00:19 buddy. I'm not going to clap like it's a morning zoo show, but a meeting on zoom Jesus Christ The name of your album again is not now more than ever and how many tracks are on it? 17 Wow 17 tracks. That's awesome dude. So make sure you get that this Friday, anywhere you can buy comedy and thumbs up it on Pandora. And what, of course, Fini stopped in. I'm glad with that beautiful fucking transvestite Adam's apple he has. Look at that. Anyways, we're like to shove it off right away. I feel like I could check his thyroid through the screen. Me and Brendan haven't seen our Adam's apple and fuck what we can't see it. I have mashed potatoes. Damn it.
Starting point is 01:01:31 You guys have a podcast together. What is that? It's called what's the scenario and you can check it out on patreon.com slash scenario pod. And that is what that's coming to us soon, right? Yeah, yeah, and in a week or so, but, but it's just been it kept getting delayed. So we were going to launch it tomorrow, and then we remembered there's kind of a big event tomorrow that's probably going to be newsworthy. So we decided to wait or two days from now, I guess, right? Yeah. No more than that. It's the 20th. What is that? What is the beginning of the Civil War? You know, the beginning of the end. Everybody's cocking Civil War.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Do you understand how lazy 99% of this country is? The other way you're getting me to go down the street and do something is if there's food. Like literally some type of craft services at the war. I get package. I get package right an hour into a fight. What do you got, Fini? Mookey? You can check out. And I am Mike Fini social media Instagram. I was going to buy podcasts, Mike Fini comedy and subscribe to my YouTube, youtube.com slash Mike Fini comedy. Hilarious sketches, I mean, almost weekly at this point, these guys are not fucking around.
Starting point is 01:02:52 They are filming, writing, filming, directing, and getting it out there to you guys for free. They ain't asking for permission. They're not asking, I've, hey, do you think this is cool? Will you fuck it? They're just coming up with the idea and doing it and giving it to you. And that's what I love about these assholes. This next generation here in New York City, not fucking around.
Starting point is 01:03:15 And then making it happen even during this bullshit, which I love. And the sketches you put in out are fucking hilarious. Rosebud is this weekend or this Tuesday, the 19th will be at off the hook comedy club. That's in Naples, Florida. Yeah. She's going down there. It's, uh, I know Naples and off the hook and then side splitters on Wednesday, but Wednesday and Thursday, correct? Uh, yeah. And then I got a whole bunch of other dates on my website at the spread the fucking virus. I mean, how many dates are you doing?
Starting point is 01:03:49 A common rosebud just stayed home. It's not. Fuck you guys. And then I'm also recording an album at Zane's in Nashville. Oh my god. There's no fucking nothing. Zane is Oh, there's no fucking Zayn is
Starting point is 01:04:07 Yeah, they patched it up and And I checked I was like did you actually patch it up or did you like put you know a trash bag over your car window patch it up And they were like no, it's patched. It's for real like it's you're gonna be able to do the album so it's March 14th and two shows one night, Zimmy's Nashville, go get tickets to that, like immediately if you can, because I want people there. It's gonna be fun, it's my first album. Wow, that's really good.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. And make sure you check her out this weekend in Side Spliters. And they are safe, they are washing everything down. I know side splitters is spraying the seats after every show, washing everything, scrubbing the whole room. The mics are, you have your clean mics, they have a mic for everybody and the social distancing and there you go. It's a safe environment and you can go out and have fun. And I went to size putters and it was fine. So make sure you check out her when she does that.
Starting point is 01:05:10 And she has us podcasts too, correct? Yeah, I got two podcasts. Devils advocate with Rosebud Baker and then find your beach with my husband, Andy Haines. Both of them are available wherever you get your podcasts. And if you had to pick one to quit, which one would it be? Devils advocate. I'd quit the one I do by myself.
Starting point is 01:05:31 That's the one. Yeah, it's more fun to do it with my husband, for sure. Oh, and, and anyways, all right. So there you go. Gabby, what do you got besides fucking a weird face? What was that? You look like a fan General
Starting point is 01:05:51 This I was so general A weird face something that you cannot change So I feel that makes me feel medium offended. Oh All right, come on, three company hair. What do you got? My hair is getting wider and higher as the show goes on. You get a comment. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:06:14 What? I have an Instagram, Acabi's Brian, and Twitter. I have a podcast, Anabash podcast, and I have a comedy newsletter I put out every month where you can subscribe. You shut the fuck up in my in my bio in my Instagram Twitter. I gotta read that. I gotta read that newsletter. You've told me eight times you've read it. I just want to ask a question. What made you say, hey, I want to write things again and have people
Starting point is 01:06:36 read them. That's so. All right, I mean, I'm doing a pilot with you. I know you are, but we're not going to have people read it. They're going to watch it. Yeah, in eight years, I'm trying to get things going in the meantime. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Right. Much I like your face. Thank you. I'm going to win.
Starting point is 01:07:03 I'm trying to smash. Much what do you got a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt.
Starting point is 01:07:12 I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt.
Starting point is 01:07:20 I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna wear a shirt. I'm gonna of weird faces. I really do. I look like I just showed somebody my dick. Yeah, that's the, do you want to touch it? Face. That's like when the club owner comes into the green room and they catch me with my cock out, I'm just like,
Starting point is 01:07:38 um, yes, the 30th, I'm doing a live paper view. This is scary in the fuck out of me by the way. People are going, I think Mo's going in here in the chat and it's gonna be live around the world. Paper view, you can order it, do viewings, get your friends, get your family, sit around. I am just nervous. I haven't done shows us so long, it's live.
Starting point is 01:08:02 If I bomb live, that's gonna be nuts. If I bomb live, that's going to be nuts. If I bomb live, that's going to be forever. I'm going to be the guy. Hey, did you see that fucking chubby comic from America? I'm going to rewatch it. I'm going to rewatch it a lot of times if you bomb. I have never seen you bomb. And I say that with a lot of hate.
Starting point is 01:08:26 I love. You a lot of hate. I don't love you. You might have the heart. I've never seen Bobby bomb either. It would be great. That's why I would honestly agree it. Humanize. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:36 I am going to be at the Soul Joles this Saturday night. Yes. I'm sorry. Crazy rich comics that have so much money they can just stay home and they're fucking second house and ride around in a fucking segue. I have to work this Saturday at a, you know, socially distance club out in a tent outside in Rue deomba, Pennsylvania. One of the one of the best tents you'll be able to perform in this year, I think.
Starting point is 01:09:11 I love that place. Very excited about this week. Is it he is going to be extra 10 right now? What's that? Is it heated? Soldiers, it's heated. Yes, it's heated. This Saturday night. So check that out.
Starting point is 01:09:22 I had something else to tell you. Oh, fuck. Anyways, we're going to the extra 10 right now. If you wanna be part of that extra 10 minutes of YKWD, it is only on patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, a price of a cup of coffee. You can get in that and you get a culture in Kelly live every week, you get the extra Friday show me
Starting point is 01:09:42 and Mike Cald to the Saturday night jerk off party. You get the link to that. You get so much in the patreon.com.com session rubber Kelly if you remember it. So why don't you fucking join if you're a fan of mine and you're a fan you had fun right now for the last hour and 17 minutes or seven or eight minutes. Join up. I'll see you then. I'll see you guys next week.
Starting point is 01:10:02 You know what the are you guys know I don't know if you know it's been every week we name some Patreon people that joined up. We have a list of names. Basically, we do, I read the names of all the people, but if you guys can help me out, the $10 people, or the $25 people get a little extra something. Fini, maybe you can help me out here if you see one. And you have a lot of something. We have a lot of tens and we have 125. I got to put on the bottom. So, all right, we'll make it big. I can't see.
Starting point is 01:10:36 I mean, obviously Vincent Van Blubb has got my attention. Hang on now. How about you? Megaboob. That's what I thought it was. I thought it was Meg to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that.
Starting point is 01:10:52 I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to do making a I'm too old. Oh the bottom the bottom right corner. The bottom right corner. Oh yeah. A little thing that I'll make you a full screen. Thank you,
Starting point is 01:11:10 mush. Okay, here we go. You ready? All right, so I'll give you a thing and this is basically you I do it a little extra something for the 10 dollar people and this is here we go. You ready? Ready. Trevor. 10 bucks baby. School. Look. School. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:11:28 Whoa. Whoa. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Peop. Look at the next one. That was like watching your hero die. That was just the most corporate chili just for $10. Like a fucking slot machine.
Starting point is 01:11:55 It really hit me up set. It did. It didn't hurt. I thought you did not get LHD. Traveling if you like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob.
Starting point is 01:12:29 I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob.
Starting point is 01:12:37 I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. You're trying to entertain a toddler. It's Marcy.
Starting point is 01:12:45 Marcy Coo-Tubs. Koo-Tubs. Koo-Tub. Koo-Tub's. Welcome to the program. Okay, rose by you go. Okay, Oliver 4th. Oliver 4th.
Starting point is 01:12:59 Ten pounds a month. Wow, holy shit. Great. That's amazing. well you you got so much money head over to find your beach podcast all right mega Bob 777. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it more and more every time every time I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and more and more every time and I like it more and I like it more and more every time and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like it more and I like And we got one more We got one more ready everybody do it together One more thing he just from you
Starting point is 01:14:47 Like a turkey Chill chill chill chill chill. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's like watching your hero die. Is it? I told me Superman was invincible and yet. All right, listen guys, Fini, you're the best. I love what you're doing. What you guys are doing in this fucking pandemic, you kick and ask, you podcast, this kick and ask, your album, everything is kicking butt, your crew is, I love it. So keep it going, make sure you support their podcast, support their albums, and support them on fucking Patreon. Go to the Patrons if you can and support them. I mean, don't leave here, stay here and pay more money here first, but go that, no,
Starting point is 01:15:22 I'm kidding. Go check them out. And Rosebud tomorrow night she will be at the fucking Naples Off the World Comedy Club. And then the two nights after that, I will be at Side Splitters in Tampa. You can check out my other dates at my website rosebudbaker.com and come to Zany's Nashville March 14th for my album recording. That's it.
Starting point is 01:15:45 That'll be great. I mean, these are the motherfuckers. These are the next guys and girls coming up. So no joke, funny, funny people. Gabby, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. Sign up for my comedy newsletter. And mush, what do you have?
Starting point is 01:16:02 I'm Mike Beeswores and we did our plugs already. Okay. Okay. Well, Mike, I'm going to himself. I'll take his plug. I risk a buy. Check it out. All right. There you go. Checked me out the 30th and this weekend at Soul Joe's and I had something else to plug, but I forget the final was. I have something. I'm coming out next Monday. Is that coming out next Monday? Yeah. If you point your finger once again. I didn something to be up next Monday. Is that coming out next Monday? Yeah. If you point your finger once again, I didn't make the click sound. Did you notice that I caught myself in froze and retracted like a fishing line? Because you're here. We'll come back and break your fuck.
Starting point is 01:16:38 See you guys next week. You're the best fans in the world. You know what? Later. I haven't had it. in the world. You know what good later. I have a maddie. you

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