Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Keith Robinson 4 Jamie Jones

Episode Date: February 10, 2011

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Alright, what's up? We're doing another, you know what dude, podcast. It's a little noisy in the background because we're at the comedy seller. My guest has a fucking big buddy, chicken cutlin' his mouth, which is good. He kept fucking up the intro, yapping. So now he has to keep his mouth shut, fully swallows. I'm with the very funny, very talented, very old Keith Robinson. What's up? What's up, Keith?

Can I speak now? You can speak now. I'm throwing all of Robert Bellin. We're throwing on Robert Pellet. Um, not the man. I do this podcast. I've done it with a bunch of motherfuckers, and now I'm doing it with you. That's a good thing.

It's a good thing? That's it, it's a good thing. Why is it a good thing? The sun wears is black, it's pretty much. It is, it's good that I'm here. The year of the dragon, the Chinese New Year, something like that? Yeah, not that you couldn't tell by his voice tone that he's black, but he is black.

I am black. He's very black. I'm a black dude. You're a black silly guy. Damn right, filly. Filly people are nothing but black. They're the blackers of the black. The blackers of the black are the black and the white are the white.

What do we mean they're black? What about DC? DC is pretty damn black. What about Crenshaw? Crenshaw is pretty black, but filly is just black because we've been through stuff. What? We have race rides in the 70s. What the fuck, so did LA.

They didn't have the race rides like that. Detroit. Detroit? No, nobody had like Philly. He's the type of call a national guard in on our race ride. Detroit, the whole white community left. But they should have. Why?

Of course, Motown. They know they had no place for themselves. The Ford industry was just about to go down so yeah there's nothing there for white people. White people left because black people were moving into the neighborhoods. Now I'm taking over and then they rioted and scared the shit out of all them. Burnt the fucking whole town down and people like fuck this I'm out here. Now they want to the suburbs. They want to the suburbs. They want to the Burnt the fucking whole town down and people like fuck this I'm out here Never move to the suburbs. They want to the suburbs. Yeah, they moved out of Detroit. They got the fuck out of Detroit That's why people do all the time they move into the suburbs and they circle back around back into the city

No, why people move out of the suburbs because the black people move in then the gays circle around behind the blacks And kick you guys out And then why people come back in after the gaze. We need the gaze to sweep out the area. The gaze scare you guys. That's how you check for the neighborhood. Gaze are your black people. As soon as the gaze move in, there's a black flight

in any neighborhood. But that's how I check when I go to move with neighborhoods. One time I moved in neighborhood and it was like, I moved in neighborhood. The best time to move in neighborhoods is summertime. That's where you know about a neighborhood. Well, you move in a winter time, there's no one out. And you don't know nothing about a neighborhood.

I moved in as one neighborhood in a winter time. It's a quiet neighborhood. As soon as it hits 65 degrees is gunshots because that's the weather. The weather means everything. Nobody's out. You know my you know my barometer I'm moving into a neighborhood. What? If there's more than three check caching places and unnamed fried chicken joints I'm not going. Papa dogs fried chicken I'm not going. What I see a gay guy walking a dog. I know it was the same Like this is the neighborhood. Yeah, I want to be a I want to move into game with where gay guys are fucking passionately kissing

Under a fucking white tree. That's that's where you got a good neighborhood There's always a great day. What's silky terriers and shit suits. I'm in pit bulls and check cash places. You don't want that Now what part of what part of failure did you're up in South fillet? What's that South fillet? It's by a lot of Italians some Irish yeah, some black hole really. Yeah. Is that what Geno steaks is? Yeah, that was all That's the whole that used to be the Italian Situation before the agents came and the used to be the Italian situation. Before the Asians came and then booted out the Italians. Asians are booting everybody.

Yeah. And the fucking Brazilians do. Yeah. A lot of Brazilians are fucking who, which I don't mind. You don't mind? No, of course not. Oh, sir. Do you?

No, not really. And of course you do not, right? You fucking move a poor Brazilian family next door. And a heartbeat. Yeah, I'll pay that fucking young daughter to clean my house, to clean my heartbeat. Yeah, I'll pay that fucking young daughter to clean my house, to clean my asshole. This is American money.

Not that for shit, real. I'm too to bear. Too to bear. Obligado. Mustard. Mustard. Well, here's the thing. We went to Brazil together.

Yes. And I didn't know you had a fear of heights. Oh my God, big time. We went up to the Jesus statue You know, it's so funny what I had a fear of heights, but the Brazil Brazilian prostitutes. I was all in You know, the Jesus statue scared to walk up there, but I don't lick a hooker's ass at a heart rate You'll get the AIDS in a second world of'll roll the dice, but govaboo you fall off the cliff. We went up to the top, literally the escalators, you can see off the side. And you stood on the escalator, and then I didn't know you were afraid.

On the escalator, it didn't move, got to the top, turned right back around, and went right back on the bottom the down escalator I never that it just hit me hard. I'm afraid I still not that bad Like I hit that hit me so hard. I just like no no no No, I'm gonna go deal with these hookers. Yeah, I can't deal with Whatever was a hooker at the top of the Jesus statue free Free hookers grab the top of the Jesus statue. Free. Yeah, free hookers at the top. You would have been up there. I don't know.

You would have swiped and a pussy over the edge. You can only fuck her on the edge. Half your foot hanging around. I would have fucked her right on that. You get more, I've been in some of the most dangerous neighborhoods. Yeah. The hookers. Right.

Just any neighborhood you drive in. That's weird though. I mean like, because when I used, most people think hulkers, you're thinking about Vegas or the internet now and a couple hundred bucks or a whorehouse. But I mean, I used to go for the $20 whore. Yeah. I mean, we used to call it the loop.

And there was a shitty neighborhood in Lynn when you go there You drive around and around and around and you find that bitch with white stuff in the corner of our mouth And our lips are all chocked out for 20 bucks with suck your dick in two seconds and get you off Well, that's what that's what it was I mean I used to always late at night like like four in the morning I would go and you're tired, but you still gone. Did you use the word wood? Woodgo? I would go, yeah. Like before, like it doesn't happen now? You know what? I've calm down.

I didn't, not like I used to, but you know, I was a piece of shit. I borrowed money from my girlfriend about for us to do. Nobody was more of a asshole than me. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You borrowed money from your girlfriend to go fuck a whore. Yes. I wanted her bad.

And I didn't come back. Full intentions of fucking the whore. Yes. It wasn't like I need some money, gonna buy some jeans and then fucked up and bought a whore. No. I said I need a rent money. A little bit on all I need is 200 rent money. Because I wanted to see her twice in a week.

How much was she? 100 whatever really yeah, she was great. What did you fucking and then one of those massage bottles? Have you ever fucking did the the street hookers? Yes all time Every what's the lowest price you paid for hooker? I used to rob what I used to give them money Do what I had to do and then we put it you know We act like we had a gun tell to give them money back do what I had to do, and then we act like we had a gun, and tell them to give them money back, and take the money back.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, we were pretty bad. That's funny, because I was with Patrice in Boston, and he was telling me that, you know, hookers don't like going with black guys. No. And he said, because they're afraid of them, and their pimps don't go with black guys,

and they know not to go. And he actually brought a whore over his at Camille and he said tell him Are you supposed to date black guys she was like now? There's a black hooker said no when I supposed to go with them. They're supposed to go with white guys White guys pay well black guys negotiate Yeah, no black do me tell you something you not just in hookers either right you guys will negotiate a slice of pizza What if you put it in half? If you cut it out, I still get the same effect. Get me to damn pizza. But we would, I would go there, but they would see me, but I could talk real good. I would talk to

them. Right. I thought I was a pin. Right. I didn't know how to be a pin so I would go down there and watch. I used to just watch the hookers. Watch hookers? Yes. And they would send me to the store to get him chocolates and Pepsi. So you had goals? Yeah, I wanted to do that. I thought that's how you became a pet. You did chores for first. I thought it was a way to be a pet.

So you got him chocolate milk and Pepsi? Yeah. Really a Le Verne and Shirley? No, you get him chocolate and Pepsi because they help cap him up. They didn't have five hour drink back then. They didn't have those energy drinks. And they had those energy drinks. But they had coke. And coke.

And uh, I'm cocaine. I'm cocaine. No, but they were, you know, that's not all of them was on cocaine. They couldn't get it at the time. But I got them a lot of Pepsi. They're like ask for Pepsi. And chocolate.

So you were, you were the water boy. I was the horse. But that's when I thought you started. I was humble. Did you go up and go up? Mama, mama, mama mama mama mama said You the devil that was it not I was just my humbles be beginning to be in the pit right I Will go go run chores farm look up for the cops, right? And I thought you know, I made a one-time a game you give you the money that I thought you turned on

Yeah, for your change bitch you ain't getting no change right hey, change. Right? And they chase me with a straight razor. Hahaha. My dumbass thought that's what you did. How old were you? I was like 17. So that was like 50 years ago. You son of a bitch. I'm sorry.

This is 48 years ago. So you're like 17 trying to be a pimp. Trying to be a pimp. Really? But I didn't know how to do it. You don't go to look up how to be a Pimp on it. I do have to give it to you. I mean, one of the first guys ever to massage Pollyworth was you in Philly.

I've been before in Philly one time, but you brought me in and you negotiated. I wound up paying, I think it was $100. You wound up paying like $48. Not hundred bucks you wound up paying like forty eight Not even an even numb like an even fifty it was forty eight. You like how much you pay? I was like a hundred you dumb motherfucker. Didn't you talk her down? I didn't know it was a flea market I didn't know I don't know you can hang it with pussy You have to hang it. You got it. You can have it with pussy because it's still you know

Because look you got a look at there's no pussy shortage You have to have a lane. You got it, you can have one with Pussy. Because it's still, you know, because look, you gotta look at it, there's no Pussy shortage. Well, I mean, there's a Pussy. The market better Pussy. Well, I think now with the internet though, I think four is way more expensive. I think it's way more expensive. You can always tell by the price of a Gmail.

Before the internet, they were like 70 bucks. Now it's like, literally just flat 150 to 200. I mean, It's like literally just flat one fifty two hundred I mean it's like you're a hot chick with a dick you this should be a discount You come with a cock well the agent. I think the only ones that can charge you worth the agent why Because it's acceptable fuck that those cock suckers should charge you less I mean they're fucking there's a million of them doing it if anybody's fucking in the sex trade It's those ones. I mean and they do charge less. I mean massage Paula now They've got it down to a science because of the internet and everybody can just go on the internet

It's it's flat 70 bucks 60 bucks to go in you get the massage and it's another fucking the rest of the hundred Yeah, yeah, I'm not a box to get a fucking a hundred bucks But Asian the Asian they do they They do, they do you right. They give you wash, you're up real good. But now you know what they don't have. What they used to have when we first went, they had hot chicks in there and they would fucking, whatever you want it, you could negotiate. Now it's no negotiation.

And then they're just the old bitches that are massaged. They just give you a good massage and they jerk you off. Maybe play with your rump. I want to play with you. I want to play with you so much. I had a John name. What do you mean? My John name was Steve. They knew you had to prepare. Really? That's how you know you're going alive. How you doing a lot? You always ask you, what's your name? Steve. What job? I had a John job. How do you know you're going to let us, when you go up and they go, hi, Steve,

and you hand you your coffee mug with Steve on it. And you're coffee the way you like it. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's how you know. But that's it. It was a, it was, you know, but that's the whole thing. When I went there and they knew I had my job,

what do you do for living? I mean cars there What's your name Steve? I had a John name and a John job Well, here's the deal is it try to tell me you're a comic and they're like what? Now I have no clue it's standard comedy. I think you're a cop you tell me because It is get the fuck out. I always have that fucking problem. I have that cop barrel chest.

I'm kind of built, but I'm still fat. You know what I mean? I got a shaved head so I can just blend in, and shut up with a backpack or something. What they say something about what they try to do sometimes is what they try to do is they try to tell you like when you go to me to prostitute, do you want to touch a cop?

Yeah. To see if you'll... To cop test. Yeah, and they have you touch them too. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, when I used to pick up street hookers, I used to pick up the $20 horse, and as soon as you get in the car with them,

they grab your dip. Yeah. And they tell you to grab their tits. Because that's a trap. If you do that shit, you're a cop, then you're a trapman, so yeah. Well, the cops are so crooked, that's the whole thing. It really doesn't work, because the cops,

like, I never did it. Jesus, or I'm not gonna believe, you know, they don't give a shit. Yeah, the dick tests never really work. Right. Well, your dick it would, mine it wouldn't. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, fucking big clubber lane.

Uh, uh, let me ask you a question. You started comedy how long ago? What? You started comedy how long ago? I don't hear you, what did you say? I...what the fuck? In the 80s. You mean in 80?

In the 80s. In the 80s? In the 80s. Alright, well, alright, whatever you fucking weirdo, who gives a shit? So you must? Yeah, because you asked me to call it because I'm trying to get to a long time. A long time. A long time.

You was hit. I've been doing it a long time. Jesus, I'm with you. Go ahead. I see you. You've been doing comedy a long time. Yes. I met you at a Nacka convention.

Yes, you did. I had a nice Nacka convention. I had a lovely young lady with me. Right. And you were fucking bunking me with stupid questions. Because I had just started comedy in the improv group, Al and the monkeys with Dane Cook. And I wanted to know how you got into clubs and what you do. And I followed you to the elevator, or you were exhausted, and you had some hot chick.

I was trying to get laid, man. I just did a set. I don't think I got one college from that set. You think I want to hear your horse shit? Hey, what, not what comedy goes that? I beat it. You call me player. And you basically blew me the fuck off. Yes, I did ask a question But I'm sorry. It's like a half a question with your eyes shut and I was like yeah Yeah, and they tried to shut me the fuck up

But I was trying to get late now you understand though. Well, and then years later Life may have it. Yes, and you were happy about that. Well, here's the thing is that years later I moved to New York signed with the same company personal appearance company New York entertainment and they booked us a gig together So that's that's that's crazy that I got like you more than me. Well, here's the thing I don't know the guy like me more than you but when we showed up at the college con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sin fin de aventuras te esperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Everybody knew when they see Robert Kelly, Robert Kelly was out for blood. Everybody knew it. It was no secret that Robert Kelly was a pain in the ass because after he killed, he's gonna stand in the back of the room and peer at you with those sharp eyes. He did knew that you were gonna sit in the back and look at you and say, how the fuck is he doing? Follow that motherfucker.

You had that about you. Follow it now. Yeah, and that died. Yeah, that dies Now I have can I go home? Can I get home please? Please get me home. Well your headlight and all over the place and you may see that guy in the audience You may see you in the audience. Oh, I see. Oh, look at you. Oh, you see them all the time. Yeah, yeah They're looking back. Oh, yeah, see what you got. Yeah, yeah, it's a motherfucking

Let me ask your question You you've been doing this for a fucking long time. You're on the one to psych shit. You have many pops right in your career I mean movies ups and downs. We all have that's the one thing I didn't have back then everything was up Because I was coming from the bottom so everything was up and you go up and down You go up and down and I just recently you had another big pop where you're a fucking guest host or What do they call what was your role? I was a You know some dude sidekick some sidekick do on the one the sideshow where you know come in Do do a little something and you know

try to build something but that never happened. But it just didn't happen. Well the show was on for a while. The show was on for a season. We did 24 episodes. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. But it didn't happen. The money wasn't right. With Fox they'd have the proper money to have a special guest that they needed. It was a lot of stuff. Did you get paid good though? It's alright. Really? Yeah, it was okay.

Wow. You know, it was alright. It was enough for me to live in LA and still keep my apartment in. And live and make a little money. Make money. I had a great time in LA. Was it a good experience? No, being on the show?

Yeah, because you get to know what to do and what not to do. So the experience was, it was on its money because not going to be specific. So, I don't want you to burn bridges on my shitty podcast. Nope, then I'm almost going to hear it. You're not going to have anything I want to say. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific.

You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific.

You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific. You're going to have to be specific so I don't wait to burn bridges on my shitty podcast right? No, then I was gonna hear nothing I want to say you beat me to the fuck Fuck this fucking guy. Go ahead. I just say anything right I could say hey. I hate it wander no one's gonna hair

I Hope she hears it and fucking she's a big fan of it and come back and fucking give you a nice verbal I gotta get rid of this. I gotta get rid of it. I feel like I'm on a first 48 hours How great is that show? I love that show really I watch it over and over here Like I'm fucking I'm not though cuz he's fucking first of all the detectives They're not Tubbs and Crockett right they usually fact eyes like me and you and fat chicks. Yeah, and it's like they're lazy, they smoke.

And they pick on kids, like 17, 18. Yeah, they're like, we can outsmart a kid. Watch what we do. Yeah, really? Yeah, it's kind of, they're not as cool of badass as, you know, an ametial kind of breaks that in. Sometimes they don't fucking catch the guy in 48 hours And he kept me watching the whole damn thing. You never court this guy you mother fucking I watch the whole show

You need to watch fucking dead files or dead cases the other show to pick up on this fucking dumb show And then you get to watch the history channel Here's later the fuck it's fine with the fuck happened to that guy you got go Google names what happened? How many years of this guy get? Yeah, you know He's they probably did solve the case because it's like eight months since they shot that dumb pilot I tell you I Do like I like you won't like them because they're very white guy shows Man versus wild white guy show you right dirty jobs

Man versus wild white guy show you right dirty jobs Another white guy thing. I like Pond star you know what I thought I did what right and I end up loving I never understand my ho what kind of Watches the food shit. I get a food stuff who watches it and I'm sitting there and I'm there for hours watching food shit I couldn't I could not not watch it. It's fucking crazy I want it to food shit like it was a crime show I Watch this cramble up some good because I went up a good state. That's when you get know dude It's like I'd rather watch fucking Anthony Boydano bizarre foods. Yeah eat some shit and cook up some shit

Then fucker watch some chick get fucking double penetration in the asshole. That's exactly what it is. I couldn't believe I'm watching this food shit for hours. I couldn't get my eyes off it. Why do you cook at your house? No, I don't have to do nothing. But I'm just watching an amazement. How do you not cook and live?

I get somebody to cook for. Ooh, a girl. You have a girlfriend? I have a pre-man. You have a female? Yeah. I would A girl. You have a girlfriend? I have a female. You have a female? Yeah. But I would hope so. That just cooks. Is that what you call her a female cook? I'll hold. A what? A hoe. You don't call her a hoe or a face. Yes I do. Really? I'm like come here and hold bitching. You know what I wish I had. I really swear I wish I had like a

contraption where I can sit on a sofa and relax right on a couch and buzz and she just brings a shit without talking to me. So if they had a robot, I want them to be the robot. You want it, no, but if they had a robot that could fucking suck and fuck you and cook for you, you would have that instead of a human being girl. I would. Really? All the time.

Yes. You could play Xbox on her face. Yeah. Yeah. She's got babies for me too. Her pussy can turn her remote control. Yes, all the time. She can have babies.

Yeah. What do you mean? You want babies? From the robot that I can get rid of them if I want. You want them? They're robot babies. You can't, you want a fucking load in a robot? Yeah, I want you to. What the robot? Yeah, I'm what you love.

There's just jeans and cells in her. But I would ask you what the pregnancy to be a month. Why? Because it's a long time I hear a bitch in the morning. But it's a robot. Well, I'm sorry, but I would want it to be a month. And then I have my babies. You want a baby?

What the fuck are you talking about? You fucking alternative asshole? What are you trying to do a fucking set down a Joesroom? No, let's do it. I want a robot baby. Shut the fuck up. I want a robot baby. Explain yourself.

In other words, it's like I have this, you know, like okay, you said you want a robot. Yes. All right, yes, but that robot I want to have babies with. How? It's not possible ever robot babies You you can't how does a robot baby? You have to build a F***ing eyes my spur and then those what and it shoots me a robot baby It's fucking stupid that doesn't exist. It can never exist. You're fucking idiot

What a robot bitch don't exist. It does. Where? Fucking Japan, dude. Oh, swear to God. He know what? They have to say anything about Japan and I have to blame it. You're good. You're good. You can say anything in the outskirts. Because those cock suckers build everything.

They have actually in some, this fucking nut, I forget his name, builds robots. This is a fucking genius. So, in the, instead of having a secretary at the front desk, it's a robot with the, I think the N3G skin, which is like human skin, and it looks like a human, or an Asian, if you're racist. And she talks, she knows when you're there. They have senses in the eye and I mean they could

literally, they could make it fuckable. They could put a pussy in it, mouth in it. What's the fuck about it? No, so how far off is the babies? As whole, you can't fuck something and come in it, you come dies. Now, what is going to be a thing of eggs in there? What if they could make that? If they could rate in that one thing. What they could create?

Will you come and it brings something that... Like a metal baby robot? You're an asshole. What? I want to fucking smash my eyes on it. You're a man. Well, in Japan they might have it. I don't know. What?

Why could they have a metal baby come out? But you... You have a kid. Yeah, I'm going to kid you at it. I only't know. Yeah. Why? Why could they have a medal maybe come out? But you, you, you have a kid. Yeah, I'm gonna kid you at it. I only got one. That's not enough. If he fucks up, I'm done. So you're gonna have another kid? You need it, you gotta have another kid.

Why? Just one kid is not good. Why? My son doesn't, what if he's a complete failure? How old is it? He's 16. So you might know by that. He's had it that, yeah, he's a complete failure? How old is it? He's 16 so you might know But yeah, he's a little shaky really yeah, he may be fucking working at the corner Chinese store So you're on another one just a yeah, I can have a genius. You want a prodigy? Yes, this is fucking when you're like 90

Yeah, I don't give a shit so when you're like well, you're black. So when you're like 70. Yes I want nothing nothing Black eyes die you're a lot of white guys. What do you want? Don't you want a kid that got some shit going for some really? I want a fucking I wouldn't mind having a little shit dick like me Nah, I wouldn't mind having a little I mean if I have a prodigy I'm gonna be that dumb dad That's standing behind them. I'm gonna have to live in his hopes and dreams, because he can play the piano and fucking speak Japanese three months out of my wife's gun. And I'm just a dummy that knows secret codes of videos,

video games. I mean, I'm gonna be able to take him to chest tournaments and fucking quit my career and bank everything on this asshole. And hope he doesn't lose it and go fucking mental. Or fucking just realize what a shit dick is. Dad is dumb. So the only reason you don't want your kids to be that dude is because you.

Yeah, I don't want to be God. I don't want competition. I don't want to competition. I mean, it would be nice because if everything be nice, because if everything worked out with the Prodigy, he could literally pay for everything up until he's 18. I'll take all that little fucking cock-secret money and put it right in my Swiss bank account and rob that confline. So I have no problem, I'll be his manager's whole fucking 18, all his 18 years on the planet.

I will take everything from him. So I wouldn't have to worry about and he take care of me later in life Awesome, but he's gonna be angry like the different strokes, too But this parents took all his money. Yeah, but they took all his money and that fucking dummy had no more money later in life We're talking prodigy. We're not talking fucking Man-baby actor who's actually older than he is he just looks like he's 10 but he's actually 17 But if you take on the number of your disease, suppose you take all your Proud of these money. Yeah, you take all his money. Yeah, he's gonna be angry later on it. I was not because he's a prodigy

He'll make more money and he'll it might not gonna be about money It's gonna be a filthy from ripping your kid off fuck no, I invented you you country I invented him I Did it if I didn't come inside of my wife and meet her egg He wouldn't a fucking been alive I invented invention yeah, it is I invented him. I made him like Frankenstein I put your little shit together and locked out and fuck you. Yeah, you owe me you owe me little shit together and locked out. And fuck you, yeah, you owe me. You owe me, yeah.

Ha, ha, ha. How does your kid owe you? Because I made him. I'm sick. I made him. You owe your kid. Fuck you, dude. I ruined everything by coming inside of a woman

and letting you grow for nine months. I'm not hitting her in the gut with a baseball bat. Fuck you. I allowed you to live. I fuck you, I allowed you to live. What the fuck? I allowed you to live. You can't get arrested for this shit. Listen, I could have fucking shot you on my belly in the shower on a massage table. But you let this as a kid though.

You're a kid. Little Bobby, you see. Yeah. What are you gonna name your kid? It's a boy. What are you gonna name? some cool I'm gonna name my kid at first and middle name cool so we can dump my shit last name Kelly Like fucking the middle name might be steel like Jacob steel some

Some middle name cool and then a cool first name so we can just shit all over that second dumb name. You're not calling me a mapp of you? Bob. Bob is an awful name. What do I call you? Bob? Shut the fuck up in here. Asshole, shit name. My mother was gonna name me Nicholas which would have been Nicholas Kelly. How great is that? That's a good name. Fuck, oh yeah. Why not name your kid, Nicholas Kelly? But she named, even if she gave me that as a middle name, I'd be Robert Nicholas. That's a movie star name right there.

Starry, Robert Kelly. Ugh, there's no ring to it whatsoever. Well, my son is named after me, man. Yeah, well Keith Robinson, I mean, Wesley Robinson, he's named after me. See now you get a cool middle name. He would say a name as mom. But if he becomes famous, he's definitely gonna dump.

He ain't gonna become famous. Dump that dumb Robinson and put Wesley. My son. Keith Wesley is a fucking cool name. Keith Wesley is a good man. If you were smart, you would have dumped that 30 years ago when you got in the business and you could have been somebody. Well, I like me. Your name have been somebody. I like me. Your name stays. I like me. I like Robinson. You should be a baseball player

in the fucking in the 40s. I know it was another Keith Robinson. Who was in the... what's that? Negro. The power Rangers. He was on the power rangers, he's in dream girl. He was a more successful keeper officer. And he started out as Keith D Robison, but he got someone who's damn successful. He was like, I fuck that out of Keith. Let him switch his name, put the initial name.

Are you a sag? Yes. Are you a switcher name? Yeah, I just fucking... Because he got more successful. And he's like, checkmate. Well, Rob Arkelly. So deal with that.

Oh, I already got you, yeah. Deal with that thing. Deal with getting, I can kick off a MySpace twice because of that fucking time. That made me happy that you got me involved. Why? Because it's the way I supposed to be. Why?

We. I'll be back. I don't sleep. What's up, baby? We're at 30. I was young, got to go. Hang on one second. If those are two white comics, you told them to beat it.

You're into the black comics, you get a bond, go fuck yourself. That's my black history. The white podcast. Black history. Alright, well that's about it anyways. It's Black History Month. It's Black History Month. This is dedicated to Black History Month? I don't even know what it's about.

What the fuck is that? I don't even know what we're... You put around black dudes a lot. I know, but I don't know what... I don't know why it's a month. You don't know why it's a month? Why isn't it just a day, like, Black Day? What the fuck? Why doesn't it have it's a month? Why isn't it just a day like black day? What the fuck?

Why does it have to be a month? Ask some of your fans and your podcasts why it has to be a month. Look, let's not do black fans. I get two, but let's not ask them. I want to ask your fans. Oh Jesus. Fans of Robert Kelly, can you please let them know why? No, let you know. What's your Facebook page?

What the fuck is my Facebook page? Keep your up. Just kidding. WR, not the famous one, the other one. Yeah, the other one. And I still got Alwell, man. I got Alwell. You suck. You just stink technology wise, you know that? Alwell, I was paying 29.99. You're paying for Alwell?

They would have me up until five months ago. I was paying 29. How did you get out of it? I called those motherfuckers. It was over in India. So what'd you say? What'd you say? I'm like, hey man, I'm paying 29. Oh, sorry, they're the little Indian guy. And I said, well, I want to get recoup some of this money. I said, what's the email address? I said, well, you can't email. You got to write an actual physical letter. What you don't do? Or who writes a physical letter to AOL? Anybody does. It's AOL. You ruined a fucking India trip because you don't write

physical letters. It's AOL? No, actually it's backwards. Because you wouldn't, tight you wouldn't email a letter. I wouldn't tell you. But it's AOL. So what? So why don't they have an email address? Why don't American online have an email?

I get what you say. I understand. They should have AOL at AOL. Right. There you go. There you go. Where's my money? Just that simple. Just write them a fucking email. I mean write them a letter. It's over. But I figured out that he would get over on everybody over 40. Why Because we nobody check I got to check now, too because I'm still paying I'm still paying Motherfucker's got me That it worked I'm paying for my wife Yeah, they're so I'm paying 60 I'm paying 60 a month

You may got you all $50 I had to call one that just left it she got got rid of him about a year go whatever Can you keep everybody, the payment stuff. But you can still keep your email because it's free now. I'm afraid. But Jesus. But they were still charged. We need mother fuckers was still charged. Well, you know what you can do.

I think too, is that the credit card I use for them, I think it's just gone. So I think I don't pay for it anyways. I was paying for it. I'm going to look into that, your mother. I remember they told me to come update my card. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, what the fuck? There's some assholes, man.

They got me good. And you got your new iPad now, because of me. I got the iPad. I love that. But you hated it. I love it, man. When I got it, I deserve an apology. I'm sorry, the iPad is the shit. Are you going to When I got it. Yes. I deserve an apology. I'm sorry to

iPad is the shit. Are you gonna get the new one? Yes. You are. Yes I am of course. What are you gonna do your own one? I'm gonna sell it. Give it to my son whoever. Give it away. Right. I gotta find a way to get all that bullshit off there. All the dirt. All the dirt. Just all you got to do. Sink it up. Restore it to brand new. Sink it new and up. Rest restore it to the old version and it's done. Really? No, I'm lying. You get the heart off the heart.

It's not ruined the podcast with an anti-climate getting me teaching you fucking technology. I'm trying to get rid of all of them. I'm just have to take all my computers and toss them. I always worry about them. If I leave the house, get in a bad accident. They go through my computer. Oh, you're done, dude. Yeah, they go in and try to, they have like in a state sale,

an apartment sale, and they get all your shit. Your family's gonna know what a piece of shit you have. Oh, definitely. Oh, fuck. Brutal. That makes me want to go home and light my apartment on fire right now. Is that the only way I'm getting rid of my smart is if I burn it. That's the first thing I'm gonna give a good friend a key to the apartment.

If Keith dies, no run, get the computer, nothing else. Get those computer. As soon as you hear about my death, you run to that place and take all the computers. Anything metal that looks hard drives you with a wire in it, you unplug and take with you. Oh, but it just runs. Take it. I will keep, thanks for doing this with me. You can check out Keith on Facebook. You get a website?

No, you know I got them down on website. I got L. Well, you think I got a fucking website? Please make me out on Facebook Facebook man. That's my website I thought it KW KW are super star and L. Well dot cods. You just give me your email dummy. Oh now you can have a lot of fucking creeps emailing you So what dude? You don't want to get rid of You're an idiot. What do you want?? Superstar day at well.com, baby.

Hang on, first of all, I'm recording on my iPhone. You just spoke into the iPad, dummy. He really are an old-ass old-ass iPad. He's related to the iPhone. No, he is. I can't say. That's it. That's it.

Keith Robinson, this is podcast number something. You know what dude with Keith Robinson. Number 48, I talked to you later. I'm using the radio. Shut up, don't talk. I mean, what the fuck? You're just an ex-so. I can't just go back and redo everything.

Uh. Ha. Let's just go back and redo everything.