Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Kyle Dunnigan | Just Leave
Episode Date: November 7, 2023This week Bobby is joined by Kyle Dunnigan to talk about Kyle writing for Inside Amy Schumer, how he does his impressions for his skits, and they talk about how it's become more common for comedians t...o have kids. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp.com/DUDE today to get 10% off your first month! This episode is sponsored by DraftKings Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW, sign up with promo code WHATDUDE, and new customers get a deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit $5 or more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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How is it though you're working with Amy, you know, Amy,
do you get to the point where you're like getting the fights
and shit of?
Oh, you just, I'm very, you know, flexible.
I just leave if something.
Well, what do you mean?
If something's like getting weird, I just leave.
You just quit, walk away.
Yeah, yeah, I just could go home.
No shit.
Yeah, I mean,
if I have you just left right now, I almost did. I almost did after I thought that
getty pick. Well, you're so fat I was. Yeah. No, um, yeah, I just don't fight. I can't
think of a time I ever really like dug my heels in. Right. Because I always just think
this is going gonna blow over
or am I gonna get upset.
This is something ridiculous.
I just, like, pretty much leave, usually.
Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now.
We're back, you know what, dude?
Live, welcome everybody to the show.
YKW.
YKW.
I started the social media podcast.
The fact that YKW did podcasts, YKW did back again.
Home school, back in the day, where it all started before them all.
I can't hide my KDi, it is.
Podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules.
Shut up, you all whoinig this!
Rupert Bargain, I'm sorry.
It's a comedy podcast.
This is an NPR.
That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show? This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show?
This is the original.
Original.
Hey, what's going on everybody?
Robert Kelly, we're back.
Comedy seller studios, New York City.
It hasn't fallen yet.
Or it might have fell. It might be gone. I'm kidding. No
We're live where the studios above the comedy seller you know what dude podcast if you are watching this in the
Patreon. Thank you if you're watching this on YouTube you want to help support the show go to patreon.com
slash Robert Kelly and just click it you put put the stuff in the thing, right?
It's right in there.
Click the link and just you can become a member.
It's like five bucks a month.
It's nothing.
Or you don't wanna do that because you're a shamanke.
And you wanna just watch it on YouTube for free.
That's fine too.
Just do me a favor.
Subscribe, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell.
It'll tell you when you're gonna do another show
and maybe like, maybe like that be nice
That's about it. So let's get into it. I have
One of I mean, I've known him for so long and he's in LA now and he found his thing and he's so funny so talented and
He's one of my favorites. Give it up for Kyle Dun done and get everybody. Thank you. We have no other.
I said that like there's a crowd.
I want an asshole.
You put a laugh.
No, we don't.
No, maybe for that.
Yeah, can we just add one there for him?
Yeah.
But you, um, I actually maybe moving here.
I am in LA, but my house is for sale.
Why?
I'm just sort of done with it.
I feel like LA is also just just when you hit a certain age,
you just feel like you gotta go.
Like you don't get invited to parties anymore.
Really?
You just get, like, they just leave you alone in your house
and then you go, they don't say leave,
but you feel like I need to leave.
I got, I lived in LA and I got that immediately.
Oh, okay.
In my youth, in my prime.
You they weren't your people.
No, they, it is that.
Yeah.
You, there's some people that can go to LA
and it's their people.
You fit in and there's some people that don't
and the people here don't fit.
Well, I'll tell you this, I was there for 23 years.
I don't need to say goodbye to anybody.
Really? I don't need to say goodbye to anybody. Really?
I don't need, I could just be here and there's no one crying,
like you're, I mean, a couple people are like,
oh, that sucks, you're leaving,
but really, like two people and they don't,
they're gonna be fine.
Nobody cares.
No, that's in their college, I just left and no one was like,
I made no friends, I mean, I must not be,
good at making friends, I mean, definitely not.
When you left here, people were sad, weren't they?
I mean, were they?
I mean, no.
I feel like they're happy I'm back.
No, I definitely feel like here,
because I don't get depressed.
Yeah.
My life, I just don't have like a heavyness to me,
but I got depressed there towards the end.
And that's why I left.
Just being isolated.
And then here, right away,
just interacting with people,
being social, you have to we social a little bit. Well, here to me, there's so many options. Yeah.
Brooklyn, if you don't like the city, you don't like the salad, you go to
Brooklyn, you can go uptown, you go to the stand. Yeah, there's there's
different groups. There's a lot of things, but another thing you, you're on the
street. That's it. LA, to me, was getting into a box, going to a box,
getting back into that buck, going back to that box.
No one is out on the streets.
No, and like you said, you had to get invited to that party.
Yeah.
And then when you did, you had to find parking,
which was annoying.
You had a parking a hill, turn your wheels that way.
I don't know why I stayed that long.
I mean, when I hear it, it's, there's nothing good.
Because you know what's out there?
Hope.
Oh, hope.
Oh, hope.
It has, it's a city with the illusion of hope.
Mm hmm.
And it's, right when you're like, I'm, it's like,
hey man, you were, what was I?
And then they get you to stay for a couple more months or years.
Is there anything worse than hope that does you could think of?
Not at this age.
My hope?
One of the worst things you can have is hope.
Having hope sucks.
When, like, what is it good for?
Other than, like, initially, it's the marshmallow test.
Is the marshmallow test?
No.
All right.
Well, this is like the greatest social experiment
they've ever done.
I was looking at seven days. But it's just they they give a kid a marshmallow and they go,
Hey, you can eat this marshmallow now or you can wait and we'll give you two marshmallows.
And then the kids who eat like the marshmallow right away, they are losers. All of them became
losers. Really? And the kids were like, Oh, wait, you know, because it's holding off and like,
this is actually not a good analogy, but that is an interesting thing. Keep going, because I like it.
I love marshmallows.
I'm gonna do this to my kids and I see if he's a loser.
I'm gonna go home.
This is gonna suck.
I'm gonna put a marshmallow, he's just gonna grab it.
And I'm like, fuck you loser.
Yeah, well, it's really what you're looking
at about everything.
If you hold off feeling good, everything's better for you.
Like go into the gym, not eating,
like everything painful
Yeah, if you wait and have patience and don't try to
immediately feel great. Yeah, and hope is that hope makes you feel good right away It does hope when the older you get in this business as a comic when hope dies
Mm-hmm. I feel like you can finally be creative and have fun.
Yeah, I spent a lot of years trying to just hang on.
Like, what are people doing that are successful?
And it was always like, talk about your family.
I'm my first start.
I was doing impressions and I guitar and my manager was like, don't do that.
And then I just didn't, which is what I should have been doing.
And I just was like, my family's weird,
my family isn't weird.
And then just years going by trying to do the thing
that everyone got made money on.
Are they the worst managers?
Honestly, they're doing what somebody else did
and became successful.
They're trying to replicate that to say,
he just did this, you do that too.
Not the way to go.
And instead of going,
because I don't look at it,
they're trying to help talent.
That's their job.
They, you have talent,
I'm gonna help you make connections, but they don't believe in everybody the same.
There's some of them with like, dude, you got it.
I love you.
You're great.
I'm, I got, I know what I can do for you.
And they do it.
You think it's serious right now or you just out of now.
You're just being a, you, did you mean that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Why?
No, it's one of you want to manage me.
No, I don't mean that about you.
I see nothing in you.
I mean, we're finished.
I know, I know.
No, but I'm saying.
I've ever talked in 30 years, but I'm not.
Well, I'm saying that the whole management thing is like.
I know the agent does that.
They're like money grab.
And that's their job.
It's good.
But the managers should go, what do I have here?
What should I do with this thing? What you should have he should have been like do what do you want to do?
Go do it. That's how do we do it? Right. Let's be different. No my first manager was just like
But I have a manager now and and she's good. I'll tell you why because she doesn't want to do
dump her call her right now. No, no, no, no
She's she's like a hard worker. Yeah, and
It's like you need somebody who like kind of doesn't want to do it, you know what I mean
They're just a hard worker and they're like all right. I'll do this, you know
I had a I had one good manager Jim Serpico
When he was into me. Yeah, because he was a creator
Yeah, that he created, he could do anything.
He was like, I wanna do this, I'll do it.
He would figure it out and do it.
And he liked to create, but he also would see what you do well
and put you in those positions.
He was great, but the problem is when they're not into you,
the breakup is the worst, because neither one,
you just hold, it's like a bad marriage.
You're waiting to catch somebody cheating on the
You know, so you can go fuck you. I
I had a manager
Drop me which boof
It's shocking because there I wasn't even I was just giving him money. You know, I mean like he he didn't want your money
I wasn't calling him annoying him or yeah, he just didn't want my money. That's bad
That's bad. They will hang on to you.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, why not?
Yeah, it's fucking money while you sleep.
I was playing, it wasn't even a golf game.
I was like, I gotta get off this course right now and be like, working harder, yeah.
I've had agents dump me while I was on set.
Oh.
For a film that I booked with them.
It was like, yeah, hey, it's over.
We're gonna, what?
I had a similar thing.
Yeah, it sucks.
I went, cause I rarely got things off auditioning,
going into a room like, huh, Kyle,
and this one thing I did, yeah.
Well, how do you do it?
Maybe that's one poem.
Yeah, maybe she, maybe she's working.
No, I went to the voice coach.
It was, that's good.
Okay.
I went in and then it was, go back five callbacks. It was for the show called Happy Okay. I went in and then it was go back five callbacks.
It was for the show called Happy Family.
You remember that NBC?
I do.
It was a medium hit.
But it was a recurring part.
It was like, here comes the rocket ship
and I get there and I can't read.
Like, and I'm not just saying that.
I don't know how to read.
What, what?
I can't read.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean?
Like you're from Kentucky.
You're picked it up. You don't know how to read.
I just never never know. I can like I read just very slowly and you can't put a script in front of me and have me not sound like stupid.
Yeah, I got. Can you try reading something for me?
Can you pull? Can I have your glasses? No.
Well then this is we got to still make it.
No, I'm good.. I'm getting it.
Because you get dude, can you bring something up?
I have a brief.
There's no way these look good to me by the way.
I look bad in my face.
Let me see.
I look bad in all glass.
Put them back on your face.
Put them back.
You look awesome.
That's a lie.
Dude, guys.
Because I've never looked good.
I'm going to take a picture of myself.
Dude, these guys are autistic.
They can't lie.
Hold on. Let me take a pic.
They look great.
I don't believe it because I'm the your largest. You look great.
You look really good, dude.
I do kind of look cool.
You look cool, man.
I read this.
I want to hear you read.
I just, as fast as you can go.
Grap in Connecticut, fresh,
pros of D.
Well, I knew that.
Prussia, these are easy.
I know these things.
This is all about you.
Yeah, that's gotta be a sense.
But, anyway, quick story.
I, so I got this part and then we're doing the table read with, with the studio and the
network, you know, the whole thing.
It's the most nerve-wracking.
Everyone's like, haha, laughing at everything because they're all trying to be like, isn't
this good?
And they go, oh, we have some new lines for you.
Well, they were like, most of the lines were all different.
And I end up ahead. I'm like, well, this have some new lines for you. Well, they were like, most of the lines were all different. And I ended my head.
I'm like, well, this is over, you know?
And this is a big auditioning process.
So it's like, Laf Ha has hilarious coming to me.
And I'm like, if you were to go to this stable store,
not stable, if you're on this store, would you?
I read like that.
So, dead silence, and my line says,
so I was like, oh, I just got fired.
I didn't hear anything, I went back the next day
and they stopped, you know, the catcher
to come out before I walked into the thing.
The log, they're gonna go with somebody else,
but you're going to Iraq tomorrow, so you have that.
I was going to Iraq or nice to serve our country.
No, are you Navy SEAL?
I'm in the Cation.
You went in front of the Cation?
Yeah, I didn't.
Yeah, it was one of those USO drew care.
Right.
Oh, you would drew carry?
Yeah, we actually got a mortar attack, the hotel.
Yeah.
I was in a bombing too.
Yeah.
Yeah, Colin Quinn was doing a three o'clock show
at a marine base. I really bombed.
We all hit in bunkers.
Can I help that?
Yeah, I went to Iraq, man.
Did you do the USO tour?
Yeah, I went with Colin.
I went with Dane.
I went with Colin first time.
Yeah.
And then I went with Dane.
And you went with Drew Kerry.
I just had a flash of something I overheard on the train like 20 years ago.
What?
These two girls were taught they were going to year in Dane show somewhere at the,
you know, I don't know, Masses, Garwood, you guys were doing.
Yeah.
And they were talking who they wanted to fuck more.
I was such a funny conversation because one of those like, I don't want to fuck Bobby.
And they're like, what I'm fucking Dane.
And they're like, Bobby's more like edgy.
They were just these two girls.
True. Probably they had us down 13.
They were old enough. No way.
Fucking you guys. No, you don't know that. How old were they?
They weren't old enough. You can't judge a book by its cover.
I mean, now they're probably 30.
But anyway, do why did that story? Why did that story make me hot?
I mean, I thought about you. I'm like, dude, he knows he can know about.
I love the I love that you made them stupid. Thank you.
I love that there was stupid.
Which one wanted to fuck me the better look at one or the chubby one?
You know, they were they were behind me. So I was like listening to them.
Oh, shit. And they got up. I got a glimpse of them, but I don't really remember.
What they hot? It wasn't like I was like, whoa, but I wasn't like gross.
There were probably seven, sixes.
Year old?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
There were sixes year old.
And now he's married.
And they're married.
And I would say that you should feel pretty good about that.
I do.
Cause Dane was like the hottest thing,
but one of them was like, no, I want a fuck, bobby.
Oh, you say that again.
I love that. I needed that today. Yeah, no, I want a fuck Bobby. I say to you, I love that.
I needed that today.
Yeah, yeah, feels good.
It feels great.
I'm still thin.
Underage girl was like, I'm gonna fuck Eiji Kelly.
Yeah, like I think your edge just did it for her.
I was hot that weekend, that was pretty sexy.
Let's put up a pick.
Could we put a pick up?
You remember me, dude?
You were the hot comedian, Bobby Kelly. Let's put up a pick. Could we put a pick up? You remember me, dude?
You, you, you,
Yeah, the hot comedian, Bobby Kelly.
When I, when I first came and bring up sexy Bobby, please.
When I first, when I was first lost internet.
What?
The laptop just lost internet.
We're gonna get back.
When I first came to the seller,
you were the hot guy.
You don't remember I was good looking?
I don't remember you being like,
someone saying, hey, this is Bobby's like the hot guy.
I don't remember that. Dude, I was not saying you you being like someone saying, hey, this is Bobby's like the hawk. I don't remember that.
Dude, I was saying you were.
Dude, I was a coxmith back then.
I was pretty.
You had the confidence for that.
I think my confidence, I didn't have the good looks.
I think I bet you were fine.
I never was like, he's ugly.
I never thought that.
I just maybe wasn't your type.
I mean, you don't have to insult me.
I mean, I didn't, I didn't like notice like,
woo, that guy seems better looking the other guys.
But I never, dude, I was hanging out with
Rich Faw's gym, Norton and Chris on the other.
I had no, no, no, so not gays.
Maybe that that's hurting.
Like, I'm not, you're not gay.
I know it's shocking.
Why?
I would know.
I had so many gay questions.
Yeah, no, people, a lot of them,
I'm gay like when they first meet me.
Well, because I'm, you know what?
What?
Look, I'm not the manliest guy, that's all right.
And I'm in like a homosexual body, I feel like.
It's then, it's either a homosexual body
or a dude from New Hampshire.
Same thing.
Yeah, like not a, yeah, like the guy who owns the construction company.
Yeah.
Not the guy who works on the construction company.
He's not getting his hands dirty.
He's not getting his hands dirty anymore.
Right.
His wife does the accounting.
I'm.
You do, you go, you do the bidding.
You walk out at, we'll do it for 60,000.
I think the way I talk to is like, man,
like when I hear my, like, how I talk.
And I don't know why we can change how we talk.
You know, you like, you grab a way you talk
when you're younger and you think that's you,
but you could easily just change it.
And it's still you.
Well, people changed their voices all the time.
I remember when I was, I was just, I was on stage
over at the pussycat and there was a couple of gay,
look at that, come on kid.
All right, no, wait a minute, gay, look at that, come on kid. All right, no wait a minute though.
What, like first of all, it's like,
yeah, it's the lighting, you give a lot.
Buddy, help you there, that's like a professional shop,
but do you look a picture of him?
Look, that's me when you knew me.
I mean, are you out of your mind? Dude, I mean, you have
like a brand-o thing going. I mean, you mean good looking one of the greatest best looking
actors of all time. What the fuck? That's here like his brother. You're like Chad Pitt.
Nah, fuck you. He's going Chad. Who's Chad? Bring up Chad Pitt. Is there a Chad Pitt?
Brad Pitt has a brother named, no, his name is something else. He's a brother, but a Brad Pitt's brother brother
brother, and then sexy Bobby with hair, please when you get a shot that's not you know
What do you want to shop buddy back then there wasn't camera phones, but I mean you had to take that
with your friends back then that's when we had to get photo shoots remember we had a stand we had to take that to be with your friends back then. That's when we had to get photo shoots. Remember, we had a stand, we had to get a resume on the back of our thing.
They didn't touch it up.
I remember that.
They didn't touch that.
That's it does 13-year-old girl.
But that's before Photoshop.
Also, you're a comedian.
That picture looks like you're ready to like, fuck.
I'm an actor.
Slash.
comedian.
I'm both.
Okay.
I'm both.
That's fair. I've always been both. I'm both. That's fair.
I've always been both.
Did they ever cast you in like a mob movie?
Does it feel like that's what you belong?
Haven't yet, but it's my dream, bro.
Like you get killed.
Like I get killed.
You're an asshole.
That's what you call me?
No, I'm sorry.
Brad Pitt's brother.
Yeah, you look like that.
Like that.
Where I'd go, oh, that's like Brad Pitt kind of.
That's some thing you're like Marlon Brando.
I hate him.
Yeah.
He stakes Kevin Pitt.
Kevin?
Doug.
Doug is the worst name.
Doug.
Haha.
Keep it in looking at a baby and going,
Doug, I'm gonna name this adorable baby, Doug.
No.
That in Warren.
How do you look at a child go with Warren?
Warren's thanks.
What about a girl name, like Gladys?
Oh, like Gwen?
Gwen.
Oh, look at my little angel, Gwen.
What about the movie stars now are naming their kids
stupid names
Like like a on yeah for a long like rain
Shadow apple the card actions name that cuz some things it's stupid
Wow, how is that still going that card action thing should have been a that's the only that's on a fad
still going. That Kardashian thing should have been a, that's the only thing that's on a fad. Everything everyone forgets in two seconds. I'm the guy who's saying that song like
it. I don't know what the thing is like the bullshit pay and the bullshit pay and the
rich man or rich man. I'm in somewhere. You like that guy? No. Exactly. Who is that
what the guy know? Who is that guy? Who is that guy? It's a rich man north of Richmond.
Oh, that guy was a beard. Yeah, like that was Billy Burr's brother
Everyone already forgot about him and now who's that but the Kardashians live forever. Who's that?
Who's that who's that?
Who's that again?
Don't you if you say I swear to God if you say his brother that's him being honest. That's him
I'm being honest. I'm better looking than Brando. Do you want me to I want you we can move on no
I want you to honestly take a look as he zooms in now look
Okay, now look you are the guy that cast in a movie whose friends with a guy who's starring in the movie I which is good no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, which is good. No, no, no, no, no. That is not the guy.
You just called me not the guy.
It's not the guy.
I'm the guy.
It's very rare that someone's bread-pid or marlin' brando.
Boop, do it, it's friend.
You're a greaser next to him.
I'm the guy early.
Are you calling me?
Are you calling me?
What about that guy?
That guy.
Does that, that's who you know? That's the guy I know. Ha, ha, ha, That guy. That guy. That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy.
That guy. That guy. That guy. That guy. That guy. No, I wish it that's a get that's a getty image. You can't photoshop that
Wait a minute. Yeah, you got that big I
Didn't know that that's like you
I was 350
I saw you like that I would ignore you. I never I was in LA at the time
You would ignore me. What do you want by me?
Wow, I had to fuck why would I, I'm looking to eat you?
I don't know that.
Ah, shit.
Well, dude, so you-
It's been about life, by the way.
I just, yeah.
You watch that show?
No.
All right, it's people they eat where the fuck they want.
Yeah.
This thing over where these poor people,
and I look at that, I'm'm like fucking jealous. I mean they
get two pizzas, ice cream cake, every meal is a party. Yeah. And then I'm like, all right,
it's fat. But they all have girlfriends and boyfriends are all like, they, oh, there they
are. Oh, God. Yeah. Like that guy's having a great time. You think he's having a good time. He is like a
feats McDonald's and I mean, dude, look at that leg. The
leg is the size of my wife now. That's a middle aged housewife
right there. That leg. Yeah, fuck that leg. You'd fuck his leg.
You could fuck a lot of parts of their bodies. Yeah. I'd take that belly button.
I'd fucking, I mean, honestly, what would be, okay, well.
Yeah, but no one would find out.
No, I don't care if they find out.
You go to his house, he's gonna know about, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
But no one else is there.
He might not know, he's so fat.
He might not, if he's sleeping, he wouldn't.
He wouldn't.
But you have a jar of jelly jelly
Yeah, you would have 20 minutes to fuck his belly button. Yeah, I'm have to you have to finish
I'm on I would be finishing it. If you don't finish you don't get any of the money dude
I be in the lowest amount of money $3 no come on. I would take a Yazobar no come on
I I would take a Yazobar. No, come on. To go there.
And you have 20 minutes to do it.
I would do it.
I would do it.
I'd probably do it for a hundred dollar a Starbucks.
No, no, no, no.
There's a price.
Like, dude, I'm telling you the price.
I would go in there.
You have sex with Billy Button for a Starbucks.
If he was watching, like, if he was watching.
Like a good program.
Yeah, if he was watching, like, if he was watching a good program, yeah, if he was watching, like, um, maybe, uh,
swat. Okay.
The new one, not the old one.
Yeah, yeah, the new one with Honda, the black Honda.
And he's watching that just eating something.
And I'm just lying sideways this way.
Dude, I'd fucking, I'd fuck his mouth for 10 million dollars while he was eating soup.
Oh, you're right. That would be worse. I was thinking that would be better.
But that would be worse. No, it'd be worse. What would you? Why you would not fuck him?
No, I'm saying. I'm just thinking what is the price, the lowest, because there is a
price, like you, it would be evil of you not to have sex with his belly button for a
billion dollars. You could save all these children. Like it's selfish.
Would I have to save children?
No, you don't have to.
You can just keep it.
I can keep it.
But morally you'd have to have sex with his belly button
if you're somebody who would be giving that away.
I would have sex with this belly button
for shits and giggles.
All right.
I do it for Instagram followers.
I don't know if you're,
I mean maybe is he serious?
Do you guys know about an idea?
I think he's serious.
Yeah.
How much would it cost for you to do it?
Oh, see, here's my problem.
I don't think I could finish so I wouldn't get the money.
So then there's like that gamble.
Dude, why would you not be able to finish in that belly button?
You'd be on top of the sky trying to like
Oh, it's like fucking a water bed.
My kid's gonna see this.
This is gonna be sad someday. Well, he's someday. He's 10. He's gonna be dead.
Who's that? What is that? Can we put, can we photoshop your face on that guy? How long with that?
You don't have to just get the photo of me lying down in the bed. But your body was cut off in that
picture. Yeah, sure. He can do it in two seconds. Now, let me ask you question, dude,
because you were here, you were doing piano.
I remember watching you at the cellar.
You would always go down and just fucking kill it.
Sometimes not.
Nah, you killed a lot.
I remember having to follow you.
I feel like that's not good.
When someone kills a lot,
they're not trying new stuff enough.
I don't know about that.
I kill all the time.
Yeah, maybe you're right. I stink.
But you go up on the piano and do this stuff.
And then when you move to LA, you kind of went away for a bit.
You became a writer, right?
Yeah, I started writing for the people.
Who are you writing for?
What shows were you writing for?
I wrote in Sademi Schumer for four years.
How was that?
It was a really good job because I'm in the schedule. I didn't
realize how amazing it was because I did other jobs later, but we'd come in on Monday at
like one PM and fuck around. And then everyone would pitch like some ideas that you go, oh,
this guy's made a cheeseburger or whatever. He pitched real quick ideas. And then they
go, okay, right up cheeseburger and this other idea you
had, you write up this, everyone get assignments and send them in on Thursday. Then you have
three days off. And then you come in with your whatever, they give you notes and it was
very much like not there a lot. And it's a smart way to do it because you have to live
your life to come up with good ideas. Right. I wrote for another show and the, the, the,
the KED writers thing was like the longer they're here,
the funnier the show.
And we were just were stuck in this place with the no creativity
for like eight in the morning to nine and nine.
It was just like, I kept like pushing back.
We have to go and like go live in the show, you know,
didn't know.
Oh, show us in.
It was Sarah Salvin show wasn't her fault, but the head writer's fault.
Right.
Like, okay, I'm not in fault.
It's like hard to do a show.
The show is trying to like thread a needle.
How is it though you're working with Amy?
You know, Amy, do you get to the point where you're like getting the fights and
shit of?
No, you just like, I'm very, you know, flexible.
I just leave. If something else, what do you mean? It's a shit of, you know, it's just, I'm very, you know, flexible.
I just leave if something was,
what do you mean?
If something's like getting weird, I just leave.
Just quit, walk away.
Yeah, yeah, it's good to go home.
No shit.
Yeah, I mean,
if I have you just left right now,
that's what I almost did.
I almost did after I saw that Getty pick.
Well, you saw fat I was?
Yeah.
No, um, yeah. I just don't fight. I can't think of a time I ever really
like dug my heels in. Right. Because I always just think this is going to blow over or why am I going to
get upset? This is someone's ridiculous. I just like pretty much leave usually. Right. But those
shows you lasted on till they they ended yeah
Cuz I'm like four months a year know the whole year off good money right in front of my
Yeah, cuz in those residuals and I mean now I get checks for like eight cents, but yeah, but I needed that money
I needed money, you know, yeah, I still have a poverty mentality
I just can't get out.
I have to shake it, but I save things and I just think I'm not going to be okay.
But I don't think that anymore.
But like for a while, I have a little bit of it in me, but I need to relax a little bit.
You do this thing.
You do it.
I tell you, all of a sudden you came out of nowhere doing all these videos that were some,
I mean, you were still are probably the funniest guy
on the internet.
Oh, thank you.
For, and I, let's say no.
I think, no, I think I wrote that to you.
I was watching the stuff of your mom.
Yeah, you're very, yeah, thank you.
Yeah.
With that character, what's his name again?
Craig.
Craig is the fucking one of the funniest characters. Thank you, yeah. With that character, what's his name again? Craig.
Craig is the fucking one of the funniest characters.
Thank you.
And your mom, when you woke her up,
this video of you waking her up,
I have to know, is it,
are you really just staying in that character
and bothering your mother?
Well, the first shot of that,
she didn't know I was doing anything.
She was, I surprised her.
Because she's actually, if she's aware she's acting, it's, it's a lot of takes and it's,
she's very aware.
Yeah, yeah.
But if you just surprise her, she's very good.
Right.
Because she's like that.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Right.
So the first shot and then the rest were like kind of staged.
Okay.
Because she looked pissed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no
She's a good actress. Okay, you have to give her you know you have to some direction
So because man you bugging her there's one way you climb to tree in the backyard. Oh, yeah
Yeah, I mean is that her house is that yeah, yeah, yeah, so here you are in the backyard in the neighbor
The neighbor's looking like what the fuck out of the pile. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, probably why is he up a Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably.
Why is he up a tree?
Yeah, and she was acting it down.
Yeah, I got a good sport.
Buddy, fucking, I fell in love with it.
Oh, thanks.
It was so funny, so original and ridiculous.
And then you started doing all these other things.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden, you did one of my favorite things of all time, which I wish was
a real show on television.
This silvestre Stallone.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What was the name of it?
Well, I would do like the Kyle Dunning and show, and it was part of it.
A part of it.
It was, yeah, kind of like.
You would do him and you had Kurt on for a while.
Yeah. And then you had what's his name on?
Who's the other guy who come on once in a while?
Bush.
Oh, yeah, John Bush.
John Bush.
It's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He says hi by the way.
I like my kid.
I'm not getting one of the nicest guys in the fuck.
Yeah, yeah, really.
Ever.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, ever.
Great.
The genuinely good person.
And fun.
Like every day I'm almost doing the best. But he was great on that show. Yeah, the genuinely good person and like talking like every day almost the best.
But he was great on that show. Yeah. Yeah. But when you did, you did, when you would open up
with that thing, I don't know, it was, I don't know how you fucking do the face. Like I don't know
how you do the, and then you did Bill Mar and it's like, what the fuck? Then you start doing all
these things on Instagram,
and it's the funniest, best impressions of all of them.
Thank you.
And it's like, I'm like, why are they giving these other people
shows to do, you should just have a show.
I know, I just sort of like started doing it on my own
and because yeah, it did someone come to you and say,
no, and no, and no, offer or anything.
No one offered to do a sketch or a
Do SNL or to do anything now?
Have you ever auditioned all that a lot of support from people the Jerry Seinfeld Pomegranate movie and I've got a lot of things
What movie unfrosted hasn't come out yet? Oh really?
I'm not flexing. What was it about the
discovery of
The discovery of the pop tart like the invention of the pop tart,
like the invention of the pop tart.
It's a comedy.
A lot of big names are in it.
What is it?
It's the guy who invented the pop tart.
It's a story of the invention of the pop tart.
So it's just a funny story about that.
Yeah, I gave it up for Jerry.
This son of a bitch, when he does do a movie,
it's a weird angle that you don't think he's gonna do.
The B movie, I don't think he take that egg.
Yeah, great.
I don't think he thought this was gonna get me.
I think they wrote it during the pandemic
and they were like, this was gonna be fun
and then, not like bought it.
And who's not gonna, he's worth a half a gazillion dollars.
Oh, I know.
He could just do any, he could walk in here right now
and go, you too, whatever you wanna make, I'm making it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I sometimes I feel like I think, I think, they say,
they say never put your money into it, but like, I do have like some ideas for like movies,
just seem so daunting to like, I'm going to make a movie by myself. What would the movie
be? I make a crack movie because it'd be so easy to make. I don't understand why that
guy, like, you think of Borat, you think of other characters that people have done
in the past, you think of all the Sandler characters
that he've done, I mean, it's up there with all of them.
Well, you know, I have an interesting Hollywood story
about that, because this group called me,
like we have a million dollars,
we wanna make a Craig movie.
And I was like, cool.
And then I was like, I know this girl
and she'd be a good like, dumb and dumb or they could kind of be because she's even
Dumber than Craig and I had this idea for this movie and then they started talking to her and they're like we're doing a movie with her
Instead. I was like, okay. Who?
What the fuck guys? Hey guys, what the fuck?
You see that? Oh
My god, you look you know you look so content. Look at that.
Ha ha ha ha.
Look how happy you are.
I do.
Looks like you're eating getty.
Take it.
Like you ran out of food, but you're like,
hand me some getty tape.
I'm starving.
You just, you just tan your head.
All right, I do it.
I remember being that big and eating in bed
on in hotel rooms on the road.
God, that sounds so good. I remember being that big and eating in bed in hotel rooms on the road. God, that sounds so good.
I remember getting pizza and Chinese food.
You know, I bet you don't even regret that.
Not then. I love America because I just went and got a new stomach.
You did?
Yeah, I got the surgery.
You did win.
I got it a year ago, a little year and a few months ago.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
It just don't want to eat.
Give me a baby stomach. Yeah. Lost over 100 something pounds. Wow. And I'm back, yeah. All right. Yeah, they just don't want to eat. Give me a baby stomach.
Yeah.
Lost over 100 something pounds.
Wow.
And I'm back, baby.
Well, I'm back, you know, back, baby.
I'm almost back.
Well, you can blow those stitches out, you know,
if you're not careful.
Not stitches.
What do they do?
Well, it is stitches, but at the time.
I don't know.
That was my biggest fear, though,
is I was going to just panic at these three stitches.
Yeah.
It just bleed out into my stomach. People do that. Do I, yeah,'t know. That was my biggest fear, though, is I was just gonna panic at these three stitches, and just bleed out into my stomach.
People do that.
Do I, yeah, I know.
The doctor now, you know, you watch that.
That's the kind of about life you don't know that guy.
Why?
It looks like this.
The guy in 600 pound life, do you have a clip of this guy?
Doctor now in 600 pound life.
He goes, you ate too much food.
And he yells at the people, and they all lie to him.
They go, what did you eat this week?
Cause you're gained 50 pounds.
And they're like, I just had a salad
and I had some pineapple.
You like that, did you?
You'll see.
We're gonna bring up a clip.
Dude, how did you know when you could do these impressions?
You'll see something that hit you.
There he is.
Is that him?
He looks like he's gonna die.
Let me hear him.
He does it.
We don't know how much you've heard.
Don't eat. That's what that. Yeah, that's it. I'm gonna tell you how much you're fed. Don't eat that much.
Do you have to your last appointment?
You just have your bypass about two months ago.
And when you left the hospital, you were down to 546.
We'll start yelling at them at the next time.
So only nine pounds is said.
But Renee has lost almost 50 pounds at the same time.
He's calm here.
He's not even having fun.
Hey, guys, that's a yell and be like, don't get the foot.
What is going on with you?
I guess I mean wrong things.
You think it's funny?
You think it's funny?
Yes, you're my fan.
I had a gastric bypass.
She's a nice mashup.
Him and then just cut to you.
Third one. I'll just cut to you. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it.
I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do anyways. What are you? Oh shit. Dude, you're impressed.
I'm sure now.
You're impressed.
Slice the loan.
Has he ever seen it?
You know what?
We had Frank's to loan on.
And I don't know if he's been nice.
Do you remember that?
He's like, I show my brother we're crying laughing.
So he's trying to make me feel good,
but he didn't say that they're like,
I love it, dude.
I love it so much.
Because we're doing more.
I don't mean you're up the, but was on a career stage with another idea to like bring it back.
And how?
Um, just him explaining like the gods are strips of joy.
But if you could give me, you got to, could you give me a little bit?
Yeah, you know, it's like, well, please, goodbye.
Hey, hey, slide. How do you, it's good. He's good. Hey, what's my thing?
Hey, slide.
How do you, what's going on with the guys of strip?
I don't know.
You know, that's where, that's where they,
they use guys of strips.
You know, a lot of people are injured there.
That's where they came up with that.
Wait a minute.
So it's a strip, like a band-aid?
Yeah, you know, a guys of strip, you know,
it's a band-aid, you know?
Like a, yeah, that's where it came from. You know, listen, did the new, you know, it's a band-day, you know? Like a, yeah, that's what came from you, you
know, listen to the new, you know, this is a news more. This guy, let me ask you a question.
So the strip was like a band-aid. Yeah. And that's what the guys are strip. And I'll tell
you, I'm not going to eat any more of that dip they make because I don't eat teres dip. You mean hummus? Yeah
I'm pretty sure the Jewish people have hummus too though. No the hummus people are the ones that they're fighting with
The Jews the Jews look it all started a year ago like something like 80 90 years ago with a land belonged to
Abraham see this was happening like 80, 90 years ago, with a land belonged to Abraham. See? This was what happened, you know? And the Abraham, but God is is
Israel, who be got, who be got some other guy. And the
Palestinians, you got nothing. They be got nothing. That's how it
is, you know know that's what happened
And seen Kyle I'm telling you right now brother
The fact and I've said this before I've said this to my wife the fact that this guy doesn't have a show
Did somebody out there whatever whatever producer, whatever company,
doesn't come to you and say,
you have a fucking, you should have your own show.
I've resigned to the internet.
I've just, I wish I had money
because I would invest it in you.
That's why, what's wrong with you?
Because I'm passionate about my own.
Why didn't you take care of your money and invest it?
I did, I bought a tiny house and I bought I bought it land in a new stomach
Yeah, and I got a new stomach. Yeah 90,000 is it really I didn't pay I had insurance
Riders get insurance pays for that. Yeah
So you have a delicious life. Yeah, I'm an insurance. This is like here's $90,000 to get my son. Makeup for it.
100, but yes.
Okay.
Yeah, insurance.
I was wondering what all my monthly dues were going to.
Yeah.
You pick it and it's like a new stomach and I can live life
for five or six years.
Is that over?
I've been following.
Riders is, actors isn't.
It's not okay.
Yeah.
Buddy, that's the sliced alone show.
Well, you, you call Kurt Maska,
Kurt, buddy, still calling that.
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt.
Everyone calls him Kurt.
Dude, he's, he's curped to me.
And you're, and you're, in your home,
you're allowed to show that so.
But your, your home, I love that you,
your home is the, the background that's in Zoom.
Well, I don't know what it is, right?
That's a green screen, yeah.
And you do the thing and it looks the hat.
What is the program you used to do all this stuff?
The hats real.
Actually Mark Cohen made the hat.
You know Mark Cohen?
Oh, he knits, right?
I love amazing door hats.
Mark Cohen is, he's the host, actually,
in house host at the comedy
selling Vegas.
Yeah.
Fucking hilarious guy.
Great guy.
Great guy.
Holierous and he made that.
And he knits for me a years ago.
Yeah.
He knits.
He knits and he dated Sarah someone from the two.
Yep.
And you did.
Yep.
Yeah.
And he dated Bonnie McFuller.
Did he?
Yeah.
Before boss.
I don't know that. And you did too. No, it didn't. They did. No.
That's what she was never she was never dragged to me. No. I did think she was hot by she did not give me any vibes. Yeah.
And then she you know hooked up and she was gone and she was taken. Yeah, taken is right.
Taking like like in the movie taken
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Es raro.
A Comedian, como es marido por un tiempo, es un hombre.
Es como, ¿sabes, marido?
Yo tengo un hombre 10 años.
En el rato.
Es muy raro.
Es que es tu grupo.
Si usted ha marido.
Pero no es el otro.
Pues Patrice died, that was sad.
Keith had a kid when he was like fucking 17.
So you met him when he was 65.
I mean, like a family, like I'm the community
with a family, a career.
I'm not as a big family, too.
He's got a regular family.
But you're talking about,
do you care, do you care Louise?
Billy Burke.
Billy Burke. Billy Burke. You're talking about outliers, carry Louise, Billy Burr. Billy Burr.
Billy Burr.
Billy Burr is not a outlier.
No, that is a person.
I don't even know what the fuck it outlier is.
It's sort of like, okay,
why are you doing this?
What is this?
What is the number?
Does this help me think?
Okay.
A claw that circles the thing.
If you take how many people are married
that are in finance and have families
and how many people are in the comedians,
this is the L.
Okay, that's truth.
Okay.
If you say comedians are married and have family
and finance people, you're gonna see a huge difference.
It's all I'm saying.
Well, I, I, Eagle, I got a circle.
I'm Eagle.
I like it.
Oh, let me think, Eagle.
I think there's a lot of comedians that have kids.
And now the ones coming up have a lot of kids.
Yannis, Verzy, Fini, Canon, Jolist, kids, kids, kids, kids.
If I were to name a Rosebud Baker,
I would have named because you would run out
four hours before me if I could make it.
You're right.
But having a kid, here's the mic.
Up, BEE! mic. Up, beep!
Ha, ha, ha!
This guy.
Can you, that's me.
Can you, can you not tell me how you create that stuff?
Is that like a scene?
Oh no, it's a, it's a face swap app.
From what?
It's called face swap.
It's actually, it's funny story, not funny. Snap camera, I attach it to the live stream,
which is called Streamyard, but they canceled Snap camera.
They just deleted it for no reason.
Wow.
And so now I can't make new faces.
I gotta figure out something else.
I have a plan.
But I had to have a friend of mine.
He actually made my computer a server.
So I could still do it with the characters. He actually made my computer a server.
So I could still do it with the characters,
the faces that I have hot keys for,
this is getting boring.
No, no, good.
Can I tell you, I don't, it's so real
when you do these characters.
But you could tell, it's like a cartoon.
You could tell, but the buddy,
the character is so well done,
all I need is a little bit of the face and I'm in.
Like when you do Bill Maher, dude, it's crazy.
It's almost weird.
You know what I mean?
Have you seen the deep fake?
As opposed to what I do,
have you seen when they make it look exactly like?
No, what is it?
Okay. I'll show you. seen when they make it look exactly like. No, but okay.
I'll show you.
But they, um, it's a different thing and it's not as funny looking because it,
because your brain goes something's weird.
It's a uncanny value.
Is that a live gay nightclub that was on your phone?
Yeah.
Sorry.
I don't know that.
I know that song.
I don't know what time it is. And they said that song every night at nine o'clock. Just like clock. At the buckshot. Yeah, the buckshot. God, I love the buckshot.
Here it is. Is this worth it? Yeah, sure.
Okay. Tax it today. Oh, wait. Am am I gonna be able to text from,
before I use text in one of your shits?
Can I, can I text this from,
from your phone?
Yeah, oh yeah, what's the number?
Can you, oh, can you beep it?
It's on, it's on your D.
No, we're live right now.
Okay, we're live.
Yeah, we're live.
What? Yeah, we're live. What?
Yeah, we're live.
I want to edit some of the stuff out.
What?
What are you talking drama mama?
I don't know some of it.
There's nothing you're gonna have to edit out.
There's something.
We need all of it.
DMs, you DM me.
To Bobby.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I got it.
You can just hand him your phone.
He'll send it to himself.
I'm so close.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize there was a live. I'm sorry, but you're fine. You have stuff on your phone that. He'll send it to himself. I'm so close. You can't, you can't. I didn't realize there was a lot of them.
Sorry, everybody.
You have stuff on your phone that you don't want people
to see.
Kind of.
If you have phone gone to the wrong hands,
would you be nervous?
You know what?
No.
Not really.
I wouldn't either.
I give, I think that's it.
I think that's a stage of life.
Like right now, my wife can be like,
give me your phone.
I'm like, I had a girlfriend just so suspicious of me and I gave her my combo and I'm just like,
check what everyone. Yeah. But there's a thing when someone just says,
jello's are suspicious. There's just nothing that will say, shade that that bottomless pit.
It's just because I, because we end up moving in together. And then I thought once that would
happen because she lived far away that she'd see I didn't do anything and she wouldn't be jealous
But like I'd go to the bathroom and my phone to be like this and I come back and be like that
You know she every time to the bathroom take a shower to check my phone. Yeah, it was
It was like in time. My wife could not could care less. Yeah, that's what happens after my wife could care less
She was those wives. It's like you should go fuck her. I mean if I said I've gone like him
I'm where you going? I'm going to strip club. She was like she literally when I was that big too. She looked me up. Go ahead
Now I think she might that's abusive of her
She didn't in like that's rude of you were going to strip club
But her for the look you up and down go ahead is really I was a pretty big boy like what am I gonna do waste money?
That does that beating foot
What is this?
Look, look at the difference.
Look at the face.
This is a very real.
I love Santino by the way.
Yeah.
A lot of you, French or Santino?
Yeah.
I'm in more up friendly, but like I like the guy and did his podcast.
It's lame to ask you, but I just really want you to just give me more Bill Mar.
When I heard, okay, pretty cool.
Just here's the thing.
Oh my god.
It's a con everything is condescending.
Oh really?
Bill, tell me about how you feel about Trader Joe's.
Like Trader Joe's has the worst parking lots.
Can we get a bigger part?
That's creepy.
It looks.
Yeah, it's not.
Do we have to buy our own bags?
Did they put that on you after?
So that's something I can do.
I'm not doing that.
But yeah, it's creepy, right?
I like Stallone.
Yeah, with those glasses.
That's the thing.
I'd have to do something like that
because that face, the face-wop thing is like deleted.
Yeah, I mean, look, when you do it,
the Stallone thing to me is one of the funniest characters.
And on the fuck because you're doing such an exaggerated version of them, but it's it is,
I've seen them in interviews. The little bone. You're, you're close. You know what I mean? Yeah.
I don't know how to monetize. I can't figure out how to monetize and make my life where I'm okay financially,
because I can do that every now and then,
but it's like, I can't weekly, every week do that.
You have to do this.
Can I help you?
Yeah, please.
I think you have to go to somebody, get some sponsors,
get a company, listen, get a company, get some sponsors to
get behind you.
I'm going to film a season.
I'm going to film this many episodes of my show where you're going to go back and do
your thing and have the, you know, all the characters you do, segments, like an SNL
thing.
And you're going to put it out.
It's going to be an hour show, half hour and a half half hour maybe, maybe make it quicker, you know what I mean?
And you're gonna put it out on, you know,
whatever, punchup.live, the new company there
that everybody's going on because it's,
you can do whatever you want, there's no editing,
there's no, they don't censor anything.
But here's the thing, you get all there,
you get all the emails, people have to watch up,
but you can charge.
So you charge, right? You get their emails emails people have to watch up, but you can charge so you charge
right You get their emails and you charge them so you have all the analytics and then that company will give you the money to film it and
produce it and
Then you charge $5 and then you go on everybody's podcast
Do you think and promote your season of your show.
You'll make hundreds of thousands of dollars.
What's this place called?
A punchup.live is a new social media thing
where they're allowing us like comics
to put up uncensored everything.
They're not censoring anybody.
Put up whatever you want,
but you, the way people get into it, to your thing.
They have to put their email in, and then you find out where your fans are all over.
This is a really good idea. I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna do that.
But I'm telling you, make a season.
Go write it.
Make a season.
Make like eight episodes like you would do for Amy or Sarah.
You've already done it.
Yeah.
And put it together, half hour, 45 minute shows.
So all you need, and then you can sell ad space inside of there.
And you can charge a fee, right?
Who's gonna sell the show?
Me, I sell it.
Dude, you sell it, you get an, like I have a, I have a fan,
he, she's an ad person that gets me ads for this show.
Yeah.
Go to her and say, look, we'll put this together.
And you go, look, you sell it.
And then you go and charge your fans five bucks for the season.
Five bucks, you get eight episodes or six episodes of my show.
Okay.
Because honestly, every year I go, I don't know how to,
how am I going to make money this year?
I have that thought every year.
I go for 30 years. I've had know how I'm gonna make money this year. I have that thought every year I go
But for 30 years I've had that thought you this is your time
This is your time
I'm gonna do this because because of what you I don't I can't do a fucking impression give me somebody
Marlon Brando's brother
Marlon
You know mom's been asking for you and you never come over.
You're a fat fuck when you do come over.
He really did not prove your point.
That was pretty good.
Was it good?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's pretty good.
Let me know the one.
Okay.
Um,
how about Taylor Swift?
We actually have some things for an impression off.
Ready if you want to do an.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
We have a couple of impressions. Ready if you want to do an Oh, yeah, we have a couple of impressions ready if you want to do one.
Okay, let's do that.
I don't have anything like material ready.
I should get a bit too ready.
I gotta do Ron DeSantis.
I have no idea how he talks.
Can you play a little bit of him?
Yeah, play a little Ron DeSantis.
I can do it.
We're gonna do an impression off.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, people. Ha! What are we doing. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay,
people. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
All right. Bill. Why is it? Okay, people. Bill, why did you
become a Republican? Oh, please. Is there really a choice?
There's not. Okay. Why why are you? Why are you? How about I ask you that?
Why are you?
He always hang the table now.
I noticed.
It's as big as always smoking a big ass plot.
Yeah.
I love him drunk on that show.
So please, none of those people.
He sees a club random.
He gets a podcast.
He's like, I'm like, yeah, yeah.
It's a weird setting too. It's like in his basement.
Yeah. And then he fight with rain Wilson or something. He fights a lot of people on that.
He does. He'll step in something because he's he's gets a little drunk and high. And then
he'll be like, well, I mean, trans people. They're not really the other sex. They're good.
If he's got a penis, he's a guy. He'll just say something. And he has to keep backtracking.
We should we should deepfake that and put that out as Bill.
Okay, whatever.
But that's going to happen very soon.
It probably is already happening.
But he where?
What you just showed me with Santino's podcast that his producer, whoever that is, God bless
him.
Sure, a nice guy.
But he's not NASA.
It's not, you know, it's not Disney.
Just some guy in a studio with a red headed Spanish guy.
Did that deep fake.
I know.
We're in trouble.
Yeah, no, I saw something today and it was like a Joe Rogan clip.
And then at the end, I realized it was not him.
It was AI, also AI voiced.
Like now they can grab the voice and the face
so you just don't.
I have an app on my phone that will,
I can record something and then put it in,
and it will say, oh, I want it to be in Spanish.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it will take my voice.
Yeah.
And it will talk.
Oh, that's cool.
Wanna hear this?
Wanna see some?
Yeah, the future, sure.
Dude, this is scaring the shit out of me.
Yeah, I mean, I don't have much time left.
I've been totally replaceable like a lot of jobs.
You can just get the person's voice.
Just to get out of it.
No, because the way you do Bill Mar and the way.
Speed it up.
Dude, the way you listen, I've seen a bunch of people
do impressions of people, but the way you do it,
there's something that let's go inside of you
when you do something alone.
There's something you let go and you, you're that guy.
But you're a version of Stallone,
which like even just now you're like, no, strips.
It's like, what?
Well, I like the goofy picture face better
than the real thing, because the real thing is,
I already watched this, ready?
I'm off switch this camera.
You just say plug yourself, ready?
Go.
Oh, check out KyleDunnington.com.
It's a great website where you can see a bunch of things.
I did.
Hey, great.
I'm gonna go there.
And then I'm going to change. What language would you like to be in? Ah. We have gonna go there. And then I'm going to change what language you like to be.
We have Russian Russian. Yes. Okay. Russian. I mean, that's weird. You're a Marxist. We're in real trouble with Russia right now, but whatever.
I think we forgot about Russia. We have Romania. I have where's Russia? God damn it. Chilico. Chinese.
Okay, I'll take Chinese.
That's pretty good, actually.
Uzbek, Turkish.
What's your Chinese?
Chinese.
Oh, I got Russian right here, Russian right here.
Okay, you ready?
Yeah.
Okay, this is how long it actually takes
in real time to do this.
We're gonna, now what, what happened?
Well, this doesn't work at all.
Hey, just a second.
Let's go.
Oh, here it goes.
Please wait 20 seconds.
Why would you go live?
I know why.
I had my phone off.
Out of respect.
I actually like live.
But we're live right now.
I'm gonna do this.
That's good because you don't have to, you know,
I would, I do a live show.
That's the only thing that's live.
And I do kind of like it,
because then you can't get worried about
editing you just let it go and it's done. I don't really I've never really edited this show because
I look alive. I knew I just I it's like
I've edited a couple times there's been two times I've edited this show one was from Mike Lawrence
You remember Mike Lawrence name since name sounds familiar. He's a writer, funny guy, beard.
Okay. He did the show. Yeah, I do remember.
Yeah, he's a really talented guy.
He wrote for the Schumer show.
Yeah, he did.
He did.
And he came on my show and he was on the toy show, remember, the toy hunter?
Where the guys would go around and hunt toys.
No.
He was on the show and I was like, dude,
this show's bullshit, right?
It's like, that's overproduced, right?
He goes, yeah.
He said that.
Oh.
One of the fans of my show went and fun.
And this was right when Twitter and went to Twitter
and went to the guy was doing his show.
They just said it.
That afternoon, his girlfriend, who's the producer
on that show, they were said it. That afternoon, his girlfriend, who's the producer on that show,
they were gonna fire her.
Oh, because of what was said on the podcast.
He goes, dude, can you please, please take that down.
And I was like, yeah, and I took the whole lap down.
And then another one I did when John Corbett,
I took actually two down.
Two down.
Okay, here you go.
This down.
No, take this down.
Ready, here you go.
Two things I did.
Here we go.
Okay, caption.
Here we go.
Ready?
Where is it?
That's not what I welcome.
Check out Kyle's ID. Oh, that's just you. Wait, mate, didn't do it. Ready? Where is it? That's not what I love. Shut down, I don't know.
Oh, that's just you.
Where mate didn't do it.
What?
Danny, put this in Russian for me.
God, that doesn't work at all.
That sucked. That failed.
I mean, this was...
Danny, figure that out.
This is the thing that I needed out.
I needed a Russian.
We can. Huh?
This is the thing that I needed out if we can't.
We don't edit anything out.
That's the best part of my show.
I think people appreciate it.
I think people appreciate it. And the bad and the ugly. Yeah, people like that. That's the best part of my show. I think people appreciate it.
And the bad and the ugly.
Yeah, people like that. They get the real deal.
I'm actually, I should do a, well, whatever.
But like, podcast is so easy to do.
I should do a living.
What I do, what I do is take you to a wall.
No, no, no.
I want to have an easy life.
Like, no, don't do this. This is just this is saturated.
Dude, you you're a thing that you do is one of the funniest things on the internet.
People just people just want to be friends. Who's that?
There was a Trump hands. What a total disaster. This whole thing's a total disaster. Believe me, this here is a fun hang. That's all people want.
No, all they care about. They don't. There's a couple of people who want you to make something.
No, most of them want to make. Is that a guy I can be friends with? I'm buying tickets to the show.
Nope. And I listen to this. No. No, I'm telling you right now, produce your show.
Have have have a segment, segment,
have a TV show, make it, like you were doing.
I just released a TV show, episode type TV show
for us, press on YouTube and Instagram today,
and no one cares.
Because you didn't promote it.
I did a little bit.
You haven't.
You have to go on.
That's what I'm saying.
Six to eight episodes, go away.
Make your money, get a sponsor, do something,
make it, put it all together like a special.
That's your hour, like I did my hour special.
Your hour special. Your hour special.
Go make that.
Maybe not even eight episodes.
Maybe just do two hour show that you go out and you have people pay for.
Join your thing, give you five bucks, and then you can do the tour.
Go on Rogan again.
Go on all the podcast.
Go watch my thing.
It's this much everybody.
I agree with you, and I think it's a great idea,
and I'm gonna do that.
I think adding this one element is crucial,
which is, like, because when I was doing like
a semi-weekly show, I was able to promote my show,
I was able to promote.
Now I kind of did disappear, and I've been work on this thing,
and I wasn't able to promote,
and the views just like dropped so hard because I'm not online a lot because we because as soon as you go away
You're out of the rhythm baby. I mean they punish you. You're out of the album. That's why I need like a podcast weekly on and you are out of the you were in my fucking face every day.
All I watched was your shit. See, it's not on your feet anymore.
Yeah, the Alga dump chest spit you out. So now it's like I begrudgingly feel like I got
to do like a weekly thing. I don't know if you have to do a weekly, but you can read
edit clips, make smaller clips, put it back out. Still like it's like the people who see
it have seen it. So you got, tell
me your characters you're doing the show. I just got Wendell, which is part of the most
popular character. I do Wendell for me. It's like this app. He said big head. He's like
very sickly, but he's a very positive guy. He's, he loves books. He talks like this.
It's like a, you have to see the, the face thing. The, thing. The feminine man that you incurred to. Oh, the posties, yeah.
Buddy.
I mean, can we bring that up?
I want to do a, and I do think I,
you guys and your dump sweaters and your energy
that you guys do with each other.
Yeah, we did a live show.
And we're, we can do it at the Joe Rogan's Club,
which, like I have books that Adam wants us to do it. Yeah, but we did it once here at Largo
I had to show a Largo and we would just introduce people and
It was really fun and I think that's to make it also film and that could be something are you encouraged?
Still friends. Yeah, yeah, we talked yesterday. Yeah, he you two you together. Just yeah, we're gonna do a great straight man
too. Yeah, yeah, he's a good
What's the other character you do? What's his name a Craig?
And I was Craig what's up? Yeah, how's Craig go? Can I hear like this? Go on gas
as
I like working with pop rats and yeah, that guy. How does he feel about the juice?
I mean, I like I like jazz like orange jazz apple. No, no, no, no, I'm does he feel about the juice? I mean, I like juice.
I orange juice, that, but you know, no, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I said the juice.
Oh, okay.
How do you like juice people?
You're for them, right?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, me?
No.
Craig.
I'm going to pass.
Oh, you?
I love everybody.
I know.
It's funny.
You don't like juice.
I didn't know that. No, they're great.
I've actually dated most of Jewish women.
I know.
I like Jewish women.
You dated fame, dude.
No.
I did a lot of mostly unfamous.
Sneaky.
I've only dated one famous person.
You dated Sneaky Jewish women?
I did go at least just silverstone twice.
But we didn't.
Are you kidding me?
And I was like yeah when
a
What four years ago five years ago wow yeah, you dated her
Well, no, we went out twice and she wasn't that into me. Why did you go how'd you meet up with her?
Is on app stop it. Yeah the famous people app? Yeah. What's it called?
Go right out.
Oh, right.
Goals and tug it.
But she was so sweet.
And I've never met someone I had less in common with.
I mean, we couldn't even say a sentence that was,
and she's very sweet.
And um,
Did you do this?
What is this?
Did you, did you,
did you see? I am woman here, me roar. You do this? What is this?
I am woman here. Me roar. Oh my God. I hate them.
I do the Star Wars one. That's like a quicker one so that we don't have a long form. Or do I fuck some? Yeah, you fuck something. I'm paying on right quick.
I'm going to do something really that Russian thing went well.
Dude, I'm telling you right now. We're going to do it again. Okay.
We're going to try it one more time. Ready? Here we go. Ready? Yeah. Look at me. Say it. Hey guys, uh, make sure you stay in school and hey, don't do drugs. Drugs aren't cool.
All right, you ready?
I thought it was a really good. A solid message.
Fucking great. Here we go. It's almost done.
How awesome is this? Ready? One, two, three.
Please wait. It said, please wait.
No, it's good. Bobby, don't be about hard on yourself.
It's good. I like that.
Oh, here we go. Why is it not working?
There you go.
Why is it not working? Let's try it one more time. Ready?
Hey guys, make sure you're
staying.
Why?
I think I have a question.
That was Russian.
There you go.
Ready? Here we go.
Here we go. One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
Ready. We're going to take.
We're going to go again. One more time. Ready. Here we go. One, two, one more time. One more time. One more time. Right here we go. Ready, we're gonna say, we're gonna say, I gotta go again.
One more time.
Right here we go.
One, two, three, go.
Hi, this app doesn't work.
No matter how many times you try,
it just doesn't work.
Hi.
Here we go.
And we're gonna, we're gonna go from here.
Okay.
They were your sponsor.
They'd be so upset right now.
And you said Italian?
I'd like Chinese.
And you said that, that feels like the furthest from it.
You want Chinese?
Okay, here we go, Chinese.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Yeah, I mean, am I ready?
I'm past ready into...
I got you, dude.
I just know. This is I got you, dude.
This is an app on my phone.
I did it wrongly.
Now you're talking slowly so you can hopefully this will work.
I did it.
I am not doing that.
I wrongly did it and now it's ready.
The app didn't fail.
I failed.
And I am waiting for it to function correctly
because of my flaws.
Okay, when it's done, you'll hear this.
That even, that doesn't work.
Nothing works.
Can you do Denzel?
I never try to do Denzel. How does he talk? I feel like,
are you ready? Wait a minute. Are you ready? Yeah.
That's my voice. That's your voice and the captions are in Chinese. It's like the world is turning to a place I just got to check out.
I feel like, is that crazy?
And we are going, you could feel it that there's no stopping.
That's the one thing about humans.
I think our purpose is to make the machines.
Okay, that's, it's never gonna stop.
Like that's why we're here to make the machines.
That will replace us.
That will create another universe.
Cause you know, everything reproduces.
And the universe probably reproduces itself too.
And they needed these biological things
to make the machines.
That's what we're doing. That's what we're dark ones? Exactly. Exactly. I dropped my glasses.
All right, we're gonna do, we're gonna do this.
Those are very expensive glasses.
You probably wanna do, they do feel, but holiday.
All right, ready?
We're gonna do Dessantis.
Who can do it better?
I gotta, okay, I gotta do a hero, Mike.
We're gonna hear him, he's got it.
Ready?
Bring it up.
What are you, the app?
Can you bring it up?
You fuck face.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna hear him. We're gonna hear him. He's got it. Ready? Bring it up.
What are you, the app?
Can you bring it up?
You fuck face.
What do you have star wars up?
That was his pussy show.
Oh yeah, let me see that real quick.
This is the show that just came out, right?
No, that's a good.
Just what I was going to say.
Oh, this is the pussy out.
Wow, I was like, dude.
We just reviewing masculine films.
The pussy is the podcast about women, four, by men, who's more women.
Last episode, we promised to review some of the most toxic male movies of the last century.
And we thought we would start with the review of one of the most famous The Star Wars.
Now, I haven't seen the film, but I've heard enough to review it and
have a strong opinion about it. I know there's a bunch of different Star Wars
is which film is this? This is the first film but it identifies as
the fourth one. I've heard that I know if I was the fourth one. Is there a rich sky jacket? Oh, he is a weak-skilling Jack patriarchal hero's journey type.
This is the original trailer from 1977 and we're just going to give you guys our review
of the Star Wars.
All right, already, Michael, I'm hearing excuses like this happened a long time ago.
It happened far away.
Don't worry about it.
I'm bringing up my store privilege.
Something trying to create distance between themselves and their accountability.
Are you guys making this up on the spot?
We talked before and we kind of go like because I mean, dude, it's so fucking fun.
It's just why I love the show.
I go go back to DeSantis.
This is why I love DeSantis.
Why I love DeSantis?
I think it sucks like this.
Nope.
If I were to guess, no.
I'm around DeSantis.
Nope.
I'm running for president.
Nope.
Oh, God, there you go.
Well, he looks like a Disney cartoon guy.
Three.
I'll put him up in nice hotels.
Taxpayers spend free to the illegal alien,
and yet the best that they were able to do for the people caught,
Americans caught in Israel,
was either dump them in Cyprus or in Greece,
and then charge them for that.
And then they just have to somehow get home.
So we did an executive order at the end of last week,
said, we'll mobilize our emergency response folks.
We'll get planes there to bring Floridians back home
from Israel.
And so we were able to land the first plane last night,
271 people.
And the thing about it, my wife and I were there
at Tampa Airport welcoming people back.
There were 91 children on that plane, Sean.
I mean, I had a woman come up to me saying,
you know, her six-year-old daughter is saying. I got itold daughter was saying, okay, I don't have a tone on this one. Go ahead.
I bought 96 children and me and my wife kept them. My wife and I, we got skymiles to get
these fucking kids over from Tampa Tampa Florida that he had a place
You're just doing me as Ron DeSantis. I feel like I
Feel like I was pretty close. Yeah, I you and that one who's next you do that his voice is so boring
It's almost like it's boring. Oh crap you can all right. Here we go. I got him go ahead. Don't want to go first. Yeah
All right, here we go. I got him. Go ahead. Don't want to go first. Yeah
Come on man
Hey, hey, hey proud. Did you shit my pants or did I come on man? I mean I mean serious
Fucking guy, I'll give you that one. I mean, I was close to though
Yeah, no, it's I did him I did him two years from now
I got him I just have a sound. I got I got I got my
Okay, are you one that one?
I think that heroin you just got a shave the head of the I mean he looks like a mushroom.
It's just it looks like a nuclear explosion is His whole head looks like that. His head stigs. Chairman Mao, we could literally get murdered for that.
Do you know that?
Well, we just did.
Oh, I, mm-hmm.
Yeah, I released like a Swifties thing today,
which I'm a little nervous about.
What is this?
It's a fresh present.
It's like, I do a sitcom.
This is my last one for a while,
but it took a, it's in the White House.
It's like a fresh, fresh, fresh print thing, but it's like,
can we, where is it on YouTube?
Yeah, I just put it up there.
Are YouTube? What?
Kyle done it.
Sash Kyle done again.
Go to YouTube.
YouTube.com.
How many people, how many people you go?
How many people do you get following you on the, how many?
Almost 4,000 on YouTube.
It's great.
Dude, you should have fucking seven.
I make no money.
Buddy, we gotta change it.
I don't know.
You're one of the funniest
social media, YouTube, influencer, whatever the fuck
you wanna call yourself.
I make the little shit in the mouth.
You make the best content.
I think you, Shane Gillis,
he makes good money.
Make great money.
Yeah, I don't know what I did wrong.
But you know what I mean?
Nobody knows you did it.
You gotta get, hmm.
Well, the algorithm got me good.
Got me good this year.
Cause I stopped posting.
I had a nervous breakdown.
Not really.
I was like, I gotta stop.
It was so much work.
I mean, it was literally working
morning till I passed out. I had no social life for a year. Why don't you get help? I got three on I gotta stop. It was so much work. I mean, it was literally working morning until I passed out.
I had no social life for a year.
Why did you get help?
I got three on a physical health.
I tried and I honestly, like,
it's very hard to find people who work hard.
It's very hard.
And then, and now I just spend money
and I hire people to help me.
So it's from media, just not,
watch this.
It's not happening.
Joe, open those nuts for me.
Wow, look at Joe go.
Ha ha ha.
Faster.
Wow.
Putting nuts in my hands, just not like six.
Six to 10.
Wow.
Six to 10.
Six to 10.
Six to 10.
Good praise.
That's it.
Thank you.
That's oh he's, you were flying pretty close to the sun.
He had about eight and he went for another one more.
Why'd you get more loaf?
I don't know how to do that.
Like how'd you, I think maybe I don't have the't have the dude, I'll tell you how to do it. You go to a comedy club,
poor Skittles, out of your pocket, and they'll follow you, and then bring them to the seller
and give them stage time. If you give them five minutes, you don't. Five minutes, the seller.
Yeah. I guarantee five minutes. They're all open this five minutes. Oh, open this. Yeah, Danny.
Danny open this for me. I've always been a kind of a open that open that open that
Yeah, they kind of a loaner. I think it's carried over into my business
I don't I haven't seen it put a able to put a team together at all
You need a fucking team. I know I don't know how to do it. You got to do it put the lid back on please Danny
Wow Thank you. I don't know how to do it. You got to do it. Put the lid back on, please Danny. Wow.
Thank you.
I don't know how to do it.
I told you skittles and I tried.
I actually, for years, people had helped.
And it was like, I had to keep doing it myself.
I was like, paying people.
I'm like, do you have a problem with the way people do things,
not your way?
I think I'm pretty, I'm a,
well, I'm a little bit picky about certain things,
but things, I wasn't very
picky about.
They were getting so messed up and I bring that back up.
You're full max.
Stop touching things.
Yeah.
Max is the worst.
Is that you, Max?
No, he's standing.
I think I'm very close to figuring it out, though.
I think I'm very close to figuring out how I can make money in, in, in, in show business.
But I think you should be very rich right now.
You should see where I live.
You live in a small house.
No, I live in a closet.
What?
I live in, if you, it's not quite big enough for a closet.
You have a house.
Well, no, I'm living here right now.
I'm renting a place.
Here. But it's unacceptable for a grown man
to be living where I'm living.
It's $3,000 a month.
It's so expensive.
Is it in Manhattan?
Yeah, it's 10th, 3rd Avenue.
Do you want to rent the area?
Do you want to rent my shed for 1,500 a month?
Where is it?
Westchester.
Nah.
I want to be able to walk to the clubs.
You can walk, it would take a long time, but you could do it.
Okay, let's talk after the show. All right, let's talk after the show.
All right, this is your show explaining me what it's called.
It's called the Fresh Pres of DC.
It's kind of based on the Fresh Prince, but it's Biden,
and he's like on a hat sideways, and he's...
I've seen this.
I've seen the other episode of this.
Yeah.
It's layers.
It's my brand new one.
It's just out now.
Go, yeah, hey, here you go.
You see Taylor, if the economy stays strong, the incumbent president will lose his wins. Yeah, hey, there you go
Nancy Pelosi
If you don't do this I could lose my rear-action
Oh, well, we tried. Thanks for coming in, Tigger. It's a gailore. You might have believed some of your hair behind for me to sniff on.
Of course.
Oh, cherish it.
I love your house.
Sir, that was wildly in a brood.
It's Ben Shapiro.
No better for it.
It was a plan B.
Hey, Doug!
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Where did he come from?
They're all over the place, man.
I raised a f***ing video.
It's guy, a guy doesn't even believe videos.
Hey, Doug, I need you to make some fun. Oh.
Hi y'all, I'm Taylor too, and it's nice to meet you.
Ha-ha!
Oh, hello.
I'm like a legend, T-shirt.
It smells like a nice mill, it's on tape,
It's on pentesmal, my finger.
Oh, Jesus, she's so retarded.
That's why you make two.
My guitar is my boyfriend.
Sir, have you any idea how devastating the optics would be?
If you murdered a mentally challenged Taylor Swift
in the Oval Office, they don't stole your f***ing idiot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Is that settled? Well, I was born and raised in Scran P.A.
Lifeguard by the pools where I spent my day till a dude named Cornpile.
Wasn't that cool?
Started making trouble at the swimming pool.
So I took a chain.
Rock it around my mouth.
He's taking me like 200 hours to make.
Well, all right, stop.
Listen to me.
Listen.
I'm gonna tell you right now.
All right, stop the thing. Just stop me. I mean, they don't listen. They don't listen. They don't listen. I'm gonna tell you right now. All right, stop the thing.
Just stop me, I mean, they don't listen, they're not.
They don't listen.
They don't listen.
You need to get people.
Just some people to help you, dude.
You gotta stop doing it.
Now, what happened with the last one you made,
the faces were better.
Oh, yeah, they canceled the face swap.
So, can you get?
No, they canceled it. There's just So can you get no, they canceled it.
There's just gone.
It's gone.
They deleted it.
I have Biden's the same face.
Right.
So it's been a ferd.
Right.
So it's Nancy, but yeah, Taylor was like a different type of face.
A face.
Is there anything that you can.
No.
No.
You can't contact the company and have him just give it to you.
Not the camera.
Contact them. You don't know how to contact them. You can to you. Up camera. Contact them.
You don't know how to contact them. You can't contact like these people.
All right.
All right.
Hold on to the main try.
I mean, could you just,
you're running the show now,
and I'll give you 10%.
You just figure out how to make money.
Okay.
Give it to him.
What if I make you a gazillionaire?
That's great. Please do that. All right. I'm gonna do it. I get questions for you
You call them now. Yeah, okay. Good. Can you put it on your snap camera?
Hi
Could I have your thing that you delete it? I can okay? Thank you. I wish I called you earlier
Yeah, they're just gonna see you but to me. But if you don't try,
that you're right.
That was, they might give it to me.
But if you don't try, you'll never know.
I think I did kind of try,
but there was like no number for,
just contact them.
Car, I'll look at it.
I'm gonna put that in my list.
I got a list of things I'm doing.
All right, let's ask a question.
Oh yeah.
A question from the fans.
What?
Yeah.
Okay. What's wrong? No, I'm just trying to have fans. fans. What? Yeah. Okay.
What's wrong?
Why do you have such a low self-esteem?
I mean, do I?
Buddy, you're hilarious.
Thank you.
I feel like it's, it's just like,
there's this block where I don't understand
from making the things to making
the money.
Like I don't, like it's just like a blind spot I have.
Not sure what the-
You have to-
First of all, you have to build it up.
You have to get help.
You can't fucking, you can't, you have to, you have people going, no, cut that, do this.
That's great.
This is awesome.
I've tried, but it's a, I've paid a lot of money
for help that I've had to keep like firing because it hasn't been helping.
Are you okay? What? Mentally? I think I'm okay. Are you sure? I'm not great, but I'm like,
I'm happy and content. Yeah. But when I think about, like, I feel like I'm screwing up financially, but I don't exactly
know what to do.
I think all you have to do is get some help, get some nerdy dudes to help you.
But you always say help.
Like I have gotten help.
Yeah.
And they haven't helped.
And I keep spending money on help.
I mean, I do the same thing, but they do open the nuts for you if you need them or get
you a coffee or open your water, which is help.
I mean, I would like an assistant like that. That would be, it would load stress on a serious note before we get to these questions on a serious Kyle.
Yeah.
You have, you struck something that it's working.
You need to just put in a couple months of filming that stuff and then put it somewhere
where you can say, hey guys, if you wanna come over here,
it's five bucks.
There's a few episodes of this show that I created
and hope you like it.
Yeah, and then see what that does.
I'm gonna do that.
I'm also kind of debating that or make it like,
here's a special,
because it does take way longer to to write
this make it an hour didn't it's what's his name do that.
Guys, oh, Fanny now, Gail, Shane, Gail, what they did was because sketch it takes way
longer to write, especially so they made it like a previewing party where they showed it and talked about it.
And why don't you do that?
I could do that.
100% could do that.
But another thing you can do is promote that like a special like you're not going to do
an hour of standup, go and do this, put that out there and put it somewhere where you
can charge money and then go do a live show.
That's what you need to do.
And then go promote it. Yeah. Yeah. I think you got to go on then go do a live show. That's what you need to do and then go promote it.
Yeah, who?
Yeah.
You gotta go on the rounds of the podcast, dude.
You gotta keep showing your face.
Yeah.
You can't go out once and do Bill Maher and it goes viral
and then go dis a fucking peer.
I mean, I just shot a special.
Where is it?
Stand up.
Where?
It's being edited right now.
When is it coming out?
I mean, are you selling it?
I'm deciding what to do with it.
I'm not sure.
I might use it to sell to like a Netflix type of thing.
You got to get that out there.
I saw you stand up when I saw when I was at the call.
Yeah, yeah.
You're a fuck hilarious.
Oh, thank you.
You're hilarious, dude.
I'm going to tell you, you look at my finger. Follow my finger.'m gonna tell you, you don't look at my finger.
Follow my finger.
Over here, it's over here.
Look at my finger.
Follow my finger.
Yeah.
You're hilarious, Kyle.
You're fucking funny.
You found your thing.
Now do it.
Your grade stand up and you're funny at these characters you've created and these impressions.
Yeah, I gotta figure out how to...
I'll make a special, and we'll see what that goes.
But it does feel like I gotta be every week pumping out,
shit, which I hate, but I'll repot that,
because the algorithm does just, it disappears.
How easy to just get that stupid thing on Snapchat
to put the face on it and just do a,
go on the news, once or twice a week
and go out and be fucking Biden. It just gets old
Because it's here. It's it's like you can be yourself every week for an hour
But the characters you don't want to overexpose them like you only want to see the Debbie downer sketch three times
Then you're like enough of this dude the stuff. What's the long you did on this show right now about Syria and the Gaza strip if you did that on
If you did that on Instagram, it would be a fucking viral thing. And if you
had somewhere to go from there to watch more of that, but longer version to pay, you'd
get people to do it.
I'm going to need to hire someone like you with your mind that knows what to do because
I've been doing this and I've been paying people and it's not been working.
Okay. We'll pay the right people to help you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is that?
Go blue.
I went to go blue.
That's me.
Um, I was going, uh, we were extracting from being, uh, what do you
call it?
Therapist telling you, will you?
Uh, he has, uh, but, uh, but, but, but if we make this special,
yes, uh, characters, yes, impressions, but people could buy it.
Yes, five dollars, less than coffee coffees, now seven.
Wait, answer the questions as him.
Okay.
Zach has a question.
Can you describe,
Zach, it sounds like someone being shocked
to his day is that electrifying?
Yeah, as he has it.
Can you describe,
can you describe Kurt Metzger's penis as Trump?
Look, it's a total disaster.
It looks like a mushroom.
People say Trump's going to mushroom penis.
Good.
What a mushroom penis he's got, total disaster.
Okay, Tom Frost.
Who's that?
It's a guy.
Tom Frost is in my podcast.
Oh, I thought you wanted me to do an impression of Tom Frost.
No, would you rather buy and get reelected or stop doing fresh,
pret, uh, present DC, uh, but do it as, uh, do it as Biden.
All right.
Uh, look, look, come on, man.
We, we, if, if, uh, if we, if, look, here's the thing.
Come on, man.
Look, if, if, if, election comes along, you have two guys, man, If we're if look here's a thing come on man look it
Elections comes along to you two guys man, not guy. Do you know the thing come on
Fucking guy
I Fuckin love you so much
Okay, Jane Butler has a question. You think technology grows.
As technology grows, you'll start to use more deepfakes
for your videos.
Do that as sliced along.
But you know, it's true that as technology plugs along,
we always incorporate this, you know what I'm saying?
Like at one point, you would go to the store on a horse, you know, and you changed the horse's tires.
We never called tires back then.
They were called horse shoes, but they had no races.
So what they do, you know, is they take nails and they would nail the shoe.
Now, if coming along with it,
it would become a kind of species.
So you ask your question, yes,
I would use regular lace-up shoes.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Dude, you are one of the funniest.
You make me laugh, dude.
I got a fucking affinity for you.
I love your stuff. I please
Figure it out if I can help you in any way
At all I will fuck I will be there. I appreciate that I want I don't want to see him down like like literally
I am very lucky and I'm financially fine. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I
Got money. I got money. I'm fine because you really that's the only thing
I'm kind of I'm very satisfied and very happy. And I'm so very lucky. You want it. You
should be a millionaire. I would like more money because but I don't need more money. You
know what I really know. I look a bigger space. But that's all you're in the closet. I'm
going to closet. But I'm, you know, I'm out. I'm out as a straight man. You're in a closet. I'm gonna closet, but I'm, you know, still not in the closet. No, I'm out.
I'm out as a straight man. You're out of his straight.
I had to come out to my parents. Are you living a closet?
My parents found porn, like pictures of girls in my bed.
I think my dad was like, oh, he's okay.
I really think it was relieved. Yeah, I think he would be against the gay guy.
But I think he was like singing dancing with my mom and those younger guys.
I thought you were gay. Yeah. Yeah, but I knew you did it girls. Yeah, yeah, I knew you did it
The chicks. Yeah. Yeah, you banged a lot of chicks. Yeah, I am my porn my porn search betrays my gay lifestyle is there's there's a gay stuff. You're a man's man. You're a car. Heterot, Heterot. You're a cocksmith. You know what?
I, I, I, I need to probably settle down because I, I, I, you know, you're still banging?
Yeah, I, I think I, I think I got stopped dating.
I think I should settle down.
Yeah.
Think that's the healthy thing to do.
You're going to get a girlfriend.
Yeah, although you know, when it comes up, I, it's,, it doesn't seem to happen. You know,
yeah, I think the bar is pretty low though, to be honest with you. Really? Yeah, like, just
don't be crazy. Like I just got on some crazy dates. Yeah, good luck with that. I don't
know. It's a to be in a relationship. They're crazy. Like to date you, you can't, what do you,
yeah, like I probably talk to a date a little bit.
Dude, comics, it's tough to date.
Weird, to date you, you know what I mean?
I don't wanna know, I don't know, I don't wanna know.
I'm just saying dude.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Why not great?
I mean dude, you're a little fucking crazy. I mean comics are. No, but I think I'm nice. You know what not great. I mean, dude, you're a little fucking crazy.
I mean, comics are.
No, but I think I'm nice.
You know what I mean?
You're a sweetheart.
I'll be very, I'm very nice to my girlfriend.
One of the nicest guys I've met in the business.
Hey, thanks.
I mean, not John Bush, nice.
No.
That's ridiculous, but you're nice.
Yeah.
You get a special coming out sometime soon.
Mm-hmm.
You got your website, YouTube.
Websites rocking. You got your website, YouTube. Websites, rock and...
You got the YouTube.
YouTube, yeah.
And you can go watch all the other stuff.
Where can they watch the other things
on the YouTube channel?
Yeah, my Instagram and YouTube are...
What was that?
This is just, this is for my business hands.
Oh, your business hands.
Yeah, good business mode.
Yeah, and you gotta go check out Kyle Dunn again.
Hands down. I'm a bit. I don't
really watch TV that much anymore. I'm watching YouTube and funny things and creators. Yeah.
And hands down one of my favorites. Thank you. One of my favorites, man. You, the stuff you put out
makes me fucking howl and it's interesting and it's original. So go check
him out. That makes me so happy. Yeah. We're gonna be playing anyway. Soon. No, I'm gonna be here
in New York for a while. Just trying to get there. Yeah, seller. Come to the seller. If you see him
on the schedule, get your ass down to the comedy seller. Hilarious. Um, what's this? We got dates.
Is that me? Okay. You got my date.
Robbin go live.com.
Kansas City coming up.
Boston's coming up.
The comics come home.
Uh, I got a, I got a shitload of dates.
But you're going out town.
Um, yeah.
I mean, check me out.
I'm all over the place.
Jesus Christ.
I want to kill myself.
Stop.
Um, oh, that's June.
You got, you're, you're, you're spreading it out.
You're all right.
Uh, but here's a deal.
Bond fire Monday through Thursday on serious XM with big Jay Ocasin on Faction Talk 103.
Make sure you check me out over there.
Of course I have loan to pick podcasts with Paul Verzi, which is killing it.
Make sure you follow me over there and comicwearables.com.
Go there for the merch.
You want anything YKWD.
And if you're at the shows, I give you a big fat hug.
We got the new hats going up.
They should be up there already, but we got the new hats going up from Skankfest and the
regs is up there too.
The reg shirt and fuck the cheques pot.
All that stuff.
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Guys, what do you got?
Social media's max Marcus comedy.
Danny Braff on Instagram and the cheese show on YouTube.
You guys are the best fans in the world.
Thanks for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Kyle Dunn again. I fucking love him.
Make sure you check him out and let him know you heard him from the YKWD podcast. We'll see you next time on you know what, dude?
Podcast.
next time on You Know What Dude Podcast.