Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Lightning Doesn't Strike Twice
Episode Date: September 16, 2019Guest host Luis J Gomez sits in while Bobby is filming in Vegas for Netflix! We fan the flames of Luis' newest comedy feud along with Yannis Pappas and Rosebud Baker Learn more about your ad choices. ...Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Now you stink.
You know what I mean? I'm not getting stuck in your mind, you're not getting stuck in your mind!
You know what I mean?
I'm not getting stuck in your mind, you're not getting stuck in your mind!
I'm not getting stuck in your mind, you're not getting stuck in your mind!
I'm not getting stuck in your mind, you're not getting stuck in your mind!
Is there an end to this or I just come in whenever I want? What's up dudes, it's your boy, Louis J. Gomez, taking over with this very white power
edition of the YKWD podcast.
You know white dudes, you know white, Where the fuck is Janice right now?
I don't know.
You have us here.
Kik, Kik.
Jesus.
Yeah, you just work with that.
The fuck are we?
I got, at least Ian's here.
That is true.
That no fence, no fence for us but,
but you called me fat at the top of the show.
And it didn't feel good.
I was yes-anding you.
Okay.
Do you think I'm fat for real?
I mean, you're looking a little thick.
You're deliciously, you're like Rihanna.
You're deliciously soft.
That's a compliment.
It's a, it's your...
Rihanna is my number one.
Take it anxiety.
Take it anxiety.
I went to Hawaii and that was my problem.
I went to...
Rihanna Sons.
To Hawaii and then I went to LA and then I fell off
because I was working out every day.
I was dieting, I've been dieting a couple of days now.
I'm back, but I went on a vacation or it was a business trip, but it was working out every day. I was dieting. I've been dieting a couple days now, I'm back.
But I went on a vacation, or it was a business trip,
but it was a vacation of sorts, and that's the problem.
So they'd actually hurt my feelings
because I felt like I was making progress,
and then Rose Bud said, I'm prompted.
She was like, you are fat.
For no reason at all.
So, one more thing.
Listen, I'm going through stuff,
so it was just to make me feel better.
We have, look, this I'm the special guest host
So if you know what dude real-ass podcast edition
Legion skanks edition white power edition Bobby Kelly. I don't know where he's at. Where's he at Vegas Vegas?
To Netflix
Well, he had filmed a filler episode that
Why won't you really? It was Brennan Sagalo in it Lou it was bad
Bad can we hear some of it right now?
I think we burned it. I think we burned it.
I think we burned the file.
I think we burned the file.
It's just on a hard drive recording this too.
Oh my God, I want to hear Brennan bumbling through
a fucking joke and then just saying something racist
and being like, sorry, I don't know.
Did somebody not show up?
Yeah, Brandon.
Yeah, Brandon.
Wow, okay, so, and that's that.
So you guys said, fuck it, we will roll the dice
with the Louis J. Gomez instead of release that's how bad it was
Okay, well Brennan stinks. I could have told you guys that before you guys had a mind
Crazy thing. Oh, that's too funny. Look, we have no show plan today. I saw it again as I was coming out
That good and good thing I saw it in because Janus Papus is not here
He's on his way. He's on his way. He's peace parked. Yeah. I've been going back and forth with comics on I bet it's back
you with coffee on Twitter. Um, about what? And it's sort of the honest is sort of with
the Anushka's about what? What? I have no respect for people on cameo. I've said this
for a long time. Uh, cameo is a garbage fucking platform. I will scream it from the mountain
tops. I love yonall. I love Chris D I
That I think are great comics good people that I consider friends and they're on camera. Are you on can you to yeah?
But I have it
Everybody's bullshit can I tell you came you hit me up? They asked me to do it
I was only for two days and I said this does not align with my values
I was only for two days and I said this does not align with my values. Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
You mean you got no idea.
You fucking whore.
You mean you got no requests.
I get requests and I send them for free.
You got fear on my back.
I send them for free requests.
He's like free requests.
Free requests.
Free requests.
We will not.
That's right.
Proph it all for fanbases.
That's right.
There's a one-two.
I'm going to do it. There's a fire in my mind. There's a cameon that side. There's real astudes on this side. We will not that's right all for fanbases Right come to the one
There's came you on that side. There's real as dudes on this side. Oh my god
I was coming up this year as I was going I should have said no to this
Nois is like Jesus Christ
Yeah, no both on came out what I have responded to a single cameo request in the last two months
How many are you getting all of them have I get like two a week
Really that's a lot that's a lot of cameo request who if I was gonna do a week I go on candy
I only I charge like ten bucks. I think what if somebody's like hey say the end word. What do you do you don't?
Don't do it. Lewis tried to go meet Lewis tried to trick me in one. He did, remember you said me up at one.
You know, something like Bobby tricked me with one too,
to promo him, but Louis this was funny.
What did you say?
I said, I was like, I'm Janus Popus and I'm a faggot.
Yeah, I have $20, that's it for my dignity.
Yeah, that's for my dignity.
I think I've made five grand on there.
Shut up. I believe that it's a platform where you can make money
And I don't want to make it contentious because me and current fish are now not friends because of the cameo argument
Yeah, we're literally not friends now it ended today
Why doggy doggy I thought I was like, Kren you're fucking really blocking my Twitter over this black you ever came
I got I did get mad. I'll tell you the whole story. Yeah, we'll get into it
Okay, so you can get into things with people on Twitter because it's never even talking to your friends
Because people put their own bias on it and then things are misconstrued and you gotta
Curin talking in person. I bet you would find common friends. We know we get along
Weirdly well Me, current, or friends, we literally, we get along it's weirdly well. Yeah.
Like, way better than what everyone fucking thinks.
Here's a little advice to everyone in the comedy community.
If you're gonna start an argument with Lewis,
just be prepared to exit itself.
It's gotta go.
Because there's gonna be a point where he's like,
you wanna just fucking fight this out?
Yeah.
I mean, you gotta start an argument with,
I always treat it with caution. Whenever I argue with Lewis, I'm like a step. I just like like I'm dealing with an actual like yeah
Like a cat. Yeah, you just kind of like
Yeah, what about maybe consider? I don't know just not arguing with my no
I'm not gonna change my opinions because my opinions are right and that's fine
Oh, you know you gotta have a spine, but your spine's got to have scoliosis so listen
You just would happen. I guess you're down Twitter. I say once every three to four months
I tweet something anti cameo. I get inspired. I see somebody post something about their dumb cameo and I go
You and I make so much more you know, I would question a cameo
But I would never do that to my fans because I'm not a scumbag. No, I just sold him infinite
My that to my fans because I'm not a scumbag. No, I just sell them infinite CBD, you get freedom, my freedom. You get freedom, freedom,
you kick dope, bro.
What is the difference between,
I just want to look at you.
What's the difference between making them pay
for something that you want them to pay for
as opposed to make them pay for something that they want?
I understand that, okay.
They want to get you.
Yes, I'll tell you at the point,
it's because Camio as a company is taking advantage of this little thing that we have this
Relationship we have with our fans. They're coming in. They're going oh, there's profit there
I want a middleman that relationship and I think it's just kind of gross
I in my opinion I am half
You didn't come up with yeah, no, that's not true
I have a festival with a whole point of the festival
is we hang out with the fans and we interact with them.
So I believe strong.
They're profiting off of that.
I believe you, but they're also getting three days worth
of incredible shows.
It's just non-stop content.
They're getting more, $200 or getting thousands
of dollars worth of comedy shows.
It's a really, really great value from them.
I feel like, and you said that you were like,
well, the fans really like it.
I think that you have from their perspective,
they're going, like, yeah, I'm paying 20 bucks,
30 bucks for a message from this person that I respect.
Or my friend, maybe it's their birthday,
and they get a happy birthday from them.
From their perspective, it's kind of a good deal.
I just feel like the company in itself
is taking advantage of something that they really,
it's really none of their fucking business.
It's like a company.
But they didn't build it, so they wired it again.
Yeah, yeah.
If you said, hey dude, I'll deliver personalized,
happy birthday messages for $5 and you donate to my fucking thing
or donate to a charity, it would be way less gross.
But the way cameo does it specifically, it just bothers me.
Regardless, we can just disagree on this.
There's a lot of comics that are very respected.
I think there's a lot more gross things in the world than cameo.
Yeah, and I don't take part of those things either,
for the most part, you know.
But that's my main issue with it ultimately. My main issue. She's getting to a week. What the fuck?
You have a character. I don't know about I don't respond to them because like whenever I do it
I feel like I'm like I'm not I'm not this person like whenever I'm like
Birthday, I just feel like this is so gross
Dude, I'm afraid I don't understand what's so gross about it. I'm afraid it's anymore gross and getting on stage
You're mean like hey guys fucking it's way more gross because you don't you there's no effort involved
You're just like walking down the street. We'll put some effort
And it's bad. Yeah, put you in a weird position where it's crazy
Christ we guys went back to the 80s
In a night you have a fucking lighting kit you set up for your cameos, okay?
She really have a ring light
Got us as a green screen
He's got a production team behind
We do that again
Do it one more time ready happy birthday. How you doing happy birthday to you?
And on the girls up there in the Brock let's do it again
Yeah, we hold that cigarette for a second. Let me take a look at you
I didn't feel it on that one so I cheated I'm afraid I'm afraid of doing cameo
And you know when you like go on an airplane
and you're like, I can turn my phone off.
Oh my god, I wonder how many messages I'll get.
And you get none when you land.
And that is sad.
I've never turned my phone to airplane mode.
And I always order wifi.
We do so much worse things to fans than give them videos
that they watch us perform and then go,
Hey, will you pay $20 for my dumb CD at Broadway comedy club?
No, but that's the thing that you've created and made.
It's good content that they're buying.
They're not asking for it.
They're not asking for it.
People ask me for cameo shit.
I don't stand outside.
Nobody stands outside except for Rich of Oswald, their CD.
So they are asking for it.
If somebody buys that CD, it's because they actively went to iTunes
or website whatever it is.
So I don't think that I understand what you're saying.
Yes.
G-shirts.
I feel icky like you don't feel icky son of a bug.
I that you want me to wish you a happy birthday.
It's like nobody wants them from you.
It's so weird.
People do motherfucker.
There's not enough people to do you up. Look, can you get me,
can you get tickets for Nikki's show?
Like, hey, can you do a camera
where you get Nikki on your camera?
I'm like, okay.
Look, I wouldn't, we can argue it all day long.
There's a lot of, like, are you?
Or would you fight it out?
You're hilarious comic,
you're hilarious comic,
Christy hilarious comic.
There's a lot of great comics that are on this.
So I'm saying it partially ingest,
but I really do feel that way.
I do kind of feel like it's a shitty platform regardless.
I feel like it puts you on top of a thing
where it's like making you bigger than you.
It's just, can I see the argument between you and Corinne
though that I haven't, that's very good.
Well, I don't know how this escalated to the point.
So I'll tell you, I'll tell you.
I'll tell you, we never let a cameo ruin a friendship
That was solved with a cam people can't even not only can you guys not talk politics anymore nobody can even talk about
Talking about social media
Give me go on a tip-tock bitch
We'll have to take talk. I'll fight a mother fuck. We'll Love Rosebud's cameo. Oh, really quick, really quick.
Let me tell you what happened.
So I tweeted out yesterday, cameo sucks, whatever it is.
So then people are fucking rat scumbags.
So they tag Yannis and they tag Gilbert God for you.
They start tagging all these people that are on cameo.
But I want to defend it.
And Yannis starts, we have a little way for it.
It's fun with it, yeah.
We have a playful back and forth.
And it's fine, it is what it is.
Like I get why if you're on cameo, going to go like oh, I'll defend it cool
So the same thing essentially happened with Corinne
Who I will preface this by saying I love Corinne. I think she's great. I think she's funny
She's a way cooler chick than I could have ever imagined
This is gonna a little wacky right now, but down as bitch. She's a down as bitch. Yeah, so I
Tweeted this thing about came out.
So then she, tweet yesterday, let's see.
Lucia Gomez is in a bad guy.
We're two volatile of accommodation.
Thanks to everyone who supported her.
One of your brothers.
You're the one who's the best.
You're the best.
You're the best.
You're the best.
You're the best.
Three, two, three, two, three.
You know what?
No, it's great.
We are.
She's a community of mentally untimely
children.
We're children.
They're on drugs all the time.
When you hear how stupid this argument is,
you have to, it's so much dumber
than you could possibly fucking imagine, dude.
So, okay.
So, what the fuck?
So this is what happens.
She sees the cameo tweet and then she tweets,
for the next month I'm opening up my cameo again until my birthday
September 29th, if you donate $33, which is going to be my age, I will deliver a personal
message to you.
Very $3.
Hold on, I will deliver a personal message to Louis J Gomez and I will donate the money
to this LGBTQ friendly group, some charity because Louis likes a sucked dick.
Funny.
Obviously, very fun. Funny. Funny, obviously. Very fun.
So I never to be out trolled, quote her,
and then I say, cool, I don't even need cameo.
If you guys show me a screenshot
that you donated $33 to Trump's 2020 campaign,
I will send a personal message to Karin.
Okay.
Funny.
Yeah, period.
Okay. Yeah.
Somehow this devolved into me and
current up being friends anymore. Okay.
And I will say part of it is my fault
because I got I got sensitive and I got
heated but I'll explain why and I think
you guys are gonna agree with me on this.
Okay. So we go into this back and forth
and we're being playful for about 12 hours.
I'm talking about like I wake up at 7 o'clock
this morning and it is still going on
and we're just kind of taking little dicks
at each other and she's taking little shots. I'm taking little shots at one point. She tweets out just she just tweets out dot
Lewis Jay Gomez is trying to convince his fan his fan base to donate to Trump and then a joke with the Trump
Don't throwing the you know toilet paper to Puerto Ricans right and then I was like I was like all right
That's at a context not attached to anything. We. And then I was like, I was like, all right, that's at a context. It's not attached to anything we're even saying. It was like, she's just
saying to this very rabbit fan base that doesn't already like me that I'm
joining the drum. And I'm gonna, all right. And then I kind of play with it. And I
respond to it and you don't bitch. I was like, listen, I'm gonna fuck a regular
cousin. You know, like back in front of the manager. You know like back in
I want to see what
You know the kind of stuff I'm known for I just think to sample that bit. Boom, I don't think I was being that crazy.
I really don't.
You got to go to my...
You're pinned tweet, by the way, has got to be the craziest shit I've ever seen.
Oh, it's my pinned tweet.
If I didn't know you and went to your...
What's my pinned tweet?
It's like about your dad getting stuff.
Oh, yeah, I never got to tell him I love him for his abdudath.
I was like, they pulled up your Twitter earlier.
I was like, Jesus Christ.
But you know what this always happens,
but you get into like big fights and then you,
I just, I'll see the next like a month later,
you're going on tour with that person.
Yeah, I mean, that's her going on tour again.
Yeah, I saw a video where you and Bachelorette
were like, come on, let's go.
And then I'm like, they're gonna do,
they're gonna do cameos from the tour.
Yeah.
Sponsored by cameos.
Oh my God, that's so funny.
So she deleted the tweet because,
and there was another one, then she tweeted afterwards,
I guess there was an article about Milo
that he needed money that he's broke.
So she says,
she says,
Hey, Louis J. Gomez,
you wanna give Milo a job at gas digital?
I'm gonna like,
I sorry, I text, I was like,
Corinne,
you know, you're just painting me as like a Trump supporter.
These people don't know the whole conversation we have.
They don't know that we're friends.
Also, you're saying to a very specific audience
that is very like passionate about this stuff that I'm this guy, when you know that, you know me whole conversation we had. They don't know their real friends. I was like, you're saying to a very specific audience that is very like passionate about this stuff
that I'm this guy.
When you know that, you know me on a personal level.
She knows that I'm not that guy.
She knows I don't give a fuck about politics at all.
In any sense, I'm just being funny.
And then it became this just pissing contest
where neither of us would let the point go.
She was like, can I ask your Twitter?
Through text.
She was like, we're not gonna be friends anymore.
That's it, I'm blocking you on Twitter.
And I was like, all right, I guess we're, you're not. She was like, we're not gonna be friends anymore. That's it, I'm blocking you on Twitter. And I was like, all right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all This literally ended up being ball-busting that just got away from us and it turned in, but in my mind, I'm going like,
Corinne, since Skank Vestor, since we become friends,
like I brought you in the Skank Vest,
I tell my fans, and I'm not lying,
I tell my fans that you're funny and you're awesome,
and they embrace you.
She even tweeted, she was like,
I love your fan base because she knows firsthand
because she goes to Skank Vest
and she sees the type of fans that we have
that they're really passionate
and they're legitimately good people.
And I was like, then you could reciprocate
and we could have a ball busy thing.
We can low look for friends,
but now you're just out of context,
tweeting that I'm a Trump supporter
and that I'm supporting Milo.
And at the end of the day, I'm going like,
I don't really give a shit.
People think that about me anyway,
but it kind of sucks when it comes
from somebody that I think is supposed to be a friend.
Right.
Right.
You know?
Well, I mean, it happens though.
Whenever you're like, whenever you're ball-busting
with other comics, like sometimes you'll say something
and then they'll say something back and you'll be like,
oh, that one hurt.
But you know what I mean?
And then you just, but when it's on Twitter,
you can't just like exit.
You can't just be like, hey, that one,
that one, that one, that one's done.
And there's no new one.
There's no new one.
Oh, that's the point.
I was occasionally one will hit you.
It'll get through the comic book, but you're gonna get it. You can't do that. Well that's the point. I was a occasional one, we'll hit you. It'll get through the comic book,
who fans just like,
I'm not.
She's doing great.
No, you're joking.
Her dumb fans and your fans don't know that it's like a
important thing.
No, but my fans do know I'm joking.
They get it.
None of my fans support that.
So she started tweeting as well.
She was like, yeah, your fans were already
donating to Trump anyone.
I was like, no, they're not.
Don't paint our fucking fan base as this right wing.
They don't give a fuck about politics.
If you guys have literally everyone here has been
to Skankfest, you know what the fuck are fan bases.
Yeah, those guys can't vote.
They literally can't read.
They couldn't read the candidates' names
to vote for the right one.
They would have difficulty drawing the ex
in the box trying to eat the paper.
They just put the Skank down. Yeah, yeah.
Over the whole thing.
I think you should actually get a tax deduction
for giving those kids something to do.
Keeping them off the streets and out of schools.
The new dare, you should get a fucking jack from the government.
Yeah, and look, it's, it's, no, they're good fans, man.
Good, yeah.
They're running gang fest was, that is, I think, the most,
I was blown away by Skankfest this year.
It's just exponentially grown every year.
It was wild to see.
And they're so supportive.
And it's like, great.
And to everybody, to fucking female comics, to gay comics, people of color, if you go to
Skankfest, it looks like a fucking 90%, it looks like a heavy metal audience.
It's white guys.
And I guess the optics of that to, you know,
this sort of SJW culture, we go like,
wow, look at this fucking.
Yeah.
But you're so, it's just irresponsible to call
everyone a Trump supporter that just is white
or is, or people who aren't political
are now Trump supporters.
It's sort of crazy.
And I was gonna say something about the Skanks fans
and everything.
You're not saying like a retort?
Well, you know, I, talking to my hands, I'm gay.
So, um, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is a thing. That's really, I don't appreciate it. I really get it. I hope you really appreciate and respect that.
And just stop them picking on you.
And guess what?
Hold on, pull it.
No, no, it's not.
Picking on motherfucker, it's something I don't like being brought up.
Here's a thing.
What's that?
Just put that thing about my dad.
But they don't have any.
They don't have any.
They don't have any.
They don't have any.
They don't have any.
They don't have any.
Yeah, what happened?
They don't have anything brought up.
I bring it up almost every time I see it.
But that's different because here's the thing.
Your fans, they don't have. They don't know know how to be funny like you know how to be funny
So when fans try to come at you for shit. That's really personal
They don't actually have the skill set to be a funny person
They're just trying to be and it comes off like what the fuck
What I'm saying is when I approach it they go they go they're so cool that they go oh my god
I'm so sorry. You're totally right. I was just trying to have fun.
I'll delete it whatever.
And I'm like, wow, that's fucking cool.
I'm fucking because that happens with those people.
That happens sometimes with me too,
because I'll post something about my kid or my mom
or whatever it is on Instagram.
And I have family members who like,
they're not in this world.
Exactly, man.
So my cousins, I have like a bunch of fucking cousins
who like, I'll post something about my niece.
And somebody would be like, you know, just some fucking cousins who like, I'll post something about my niece and somebody will be like,
you know, just some fucking awful joke.
And I know they're joking.
They listen to Legion of Skanks, they're trying to be funny.
I know that our assholes big.
Yeah, what?
And then I'll have to literally say to them,
I'll have to respond with, she's three.
Right.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Yeah.
And then they delete it and go, they DM me.
I'm so sorry dude, I was just trying to be funny.
They truly don't know.
And to be honest with you, sometimes the fans. Wow, looks like we do the same thing. They DM me, I'm so sorry dude, I was just trying to be funny. They truly don't know and sometimes the fans wow looks like we do the same thing
They DM me though. I don't I don't DM them like a fucking fatherless dead faggot. That's what I don't do
I would never do it. You lost a friendship. Yeah, I know. What are you talking into?
Let them have a fucking dead dad fight. I want to see it
My dead dad will fuck up your dead dad.
My dad was strongest. Fuck my dad was literally killed in a knife fight.
Yeah, that's how bad you lost a knife like take it easy.
You know what guys?
Guys, take it easy too much.
Chief.
Guys, how do you break attention?
This one my dad's about to die.
Here's the thing you might have.
Your dad doesn't even know you exist.
He's, that's my mom, so my dad, my dad's dying.
My dad wasn't there for me emotionally.
Yeah, yeah.
But you have a yacht.
I do get to go on his boat.
I would take a boat over emotional support.
No, I'm kidding.
I knew it was better than both of your situations
so that's why I said it.
How much does your family not even get what you do?
They don't understand it at all.
It's so far.
I can imagine it's like a huge step down.
You're like homeless and drug addicts.
It's 100% I was thinking that last night
because I went to a fucking Monday night Raw,
and I was like, oh, wow, this is,
I don't know why I feel like I belong here. And then I was like, oh, wow, this is, I don't know why I feel like I belong here.
And then I was like, oh, it's because I've left my roots behind.
Like I don't even know.
Like when I open for Amy, she sent us menus and I forgot that when you order from a rich
restaurant, everything is like, all a cart.
So I ordered steak and I was like, oh, it'll come with mashed potatoes and fucking
the string beans and it all just can't,
I just got a steak.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, I've forgotten everything.
Yeah, it's so funny because it's a different world
because I grew up so shitty and poor.
The fact that I'm doing anything
that can be considered at all successful,
it's like my family is like holy shit.
Like it's so impressive.
But it's like when you're from like a family
that has money and success and like just real values, this is like a money and success and just real values, this is a huge step down.
Yeah, it's a huge step down.
And now they're like a reversal lad in.
Yeah.
Like made yourself into a riff-riff street.
They actually have conversations among themselves on holidays to not say things around
her don't say she's mentally like they think you're mentally like you're
all. She's a loose can. Yeah, just kind of like stay away from be careful. Yeah, I'm surprised I'm
still in the family like I'll get emails from my grandmother and I'm like am I still supposed to be
on this list like of people that she emails to pray for some sick person like you know, like
like I don't I don't know I don't even relate anymore and I'm and my dad and I don't talk
Yeah, so we're not we're not speaking right now because he he found my Twitter and now we're not speaking why what what what upset him
What was too many cameos I I miss I
Have no respect for yourself for your family. He saw he saw a picture her and see it
That's where we draw the line.
I slept through my sister's graduation
and then I started tweeting out my family's responses
to me sleeping through it.
Like all the texts that I was getting worse.
They were just like, my mom was like,
you'll be missed, which is like what you say
about an acquaintance that died.
It was just the responses were too funny to not share.
And then he responded to me and was like, uh, he was like, I can't, I can't, I should
find the text.
It was so mean.
So he was like, I can't believe you shared like tweet this.
You bitch.
No.
Oh my God.
And I was like, oh my God.
Did you tweet it?
No.
If you were funny, you would have fucking tweeted.
I know.
I know.
I know. But I was, but I didn't do it because of my mom.
Wait, did you bitch where you argue with Lewis?
I know.
I was like, and my dad's cool.
I know, we're like the same person.
I'm like, he doesn't realize that he's the reason why I'm funny.
You know what I mean?
And that I respect him for that.
But like, I don't know.
Is there like X, Y, and Z that you would have to do
or achieve that they would be like we had you have our blessing
No, it's too late for that. Yeah, I think I think I've been on TV
So are you out of the wheel? I honestly feel like I am like my sisters all called me that day and they were like just so you know
Will will include you in the
They were like we'll get you that bad though
They you know why because this is what happens And you got to look at it from their perspective.
This happened to somebody else recently.
They tweeted out something.
Well, they tweeted out something
that like their family member said or their friend said.
And it's like, from there,
they don't live in a world where they're so exposed.
And it's like, that's mortifying for some people.
Like a personal text being like shared.
Yeah.
But from their perspective,
like they're like, oh my God dude,
my trust has been completely, and in all my work, I'm we're going like you do I screenshot my friends dumb things all the time
And they do the same thing to me and it's funny, but they don't they didn't sign up for it
Right, you almost have to consider their perspective where it's like you know, they don't
You know, it's a choice to be this exposed. Yeah, I'm like I don't have to use them for a bit like I can I when they
There's anything there's a million things you use. When they responded and they were like,
we're pissed at you, I was just like,
oh okay, so I just deleted it and I was like,
I don't care, you know, like I can come up with shit myself.
I don't need to like name,
and I didn't put their names in it or anything,
but I was just like, all right,
I'm not this committed to this that I have to.
Did you delete the tweets?
Yeah, yeah, I'm like,
You just reached out to your dad though.
No, I'm not reaching out to him.
There's no fucking way.
If he dies tomorrow, you'll regret it.
Mm, probably.
Yeah.
My mom was a piece of shit who never gave me anything
and I regret not fixing things with her before she died.
But that's because when somebody dies,
we want to rewrite the narrative and be like,
oh, well, it was my fault and blah, blah, blah.
No, my mom was a fucking heron addict hooker piece of shit.
Yeah.
None of it was my fault, okay?
She deserved everything she got coming.
So then why do I feel guilty?
Because I told her that.
If you got better grades, she probably wouldn't do that.
But I didn't tell my dad any of this.
I didn't tell my dad.
It was the last thing I said to her
before she died.
You know?
But I didn't tell my dad any of that.
He just came at me like that.
So I'm like, now I'm just waiting for him to apologize.
Cause I wanna talk to him,
but I'm not going to make myself.
It's like a real Karin and Lewis.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I just tweeted, you know, all right.
I'm texting Karin, I'm sorry right now.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I'm sorry.
Go for it.
Look at you, Lewis is growing in weight.
This is dumb.
You're great hope we can still be friends.
We are both you out of our minds.
Don't do that.
You fucking come.
The podcast sucks, the podcast works.
Hey, that's my podcast.
No, whatever, whichever one.
2019 is a wild era.
It's crazy.
I saw that video a while away. is! I saw that video.
I saw that video of you and Kurt almost find out it was going like, we are now at a point
where a real fight is, there's an audience for it.
There was like an audience watching a real fight.
Well, we also live our lives so exposed that it's like, yeah dude, if I'm ever going to
hash something out, it should never be on a podcast.
Yeah.
Or just you and Karin's fight, that's a public fight.
Yeah. It wasn't a fight until the very end.
But people are watching it like it's entertainment.
Well, that's the other thing.
That's the other point.
They're watching it like it's wrestling.
Karin was like, they don't know that we're friends a lot of these people.
They think we're going back and forth because I'm watching some my fans say shitty things
around.
I'm going to like, I'm not actually trying to elicit like people saying me shit.
Yeah, but you know what the fuck is going to have.
I know, but what point am I supposed to back down
so I thought Karin
content calls me out specifically tags me
calls me gay as I suck dick and she's opening her cameo
so am I not supposed to respond to that?
she's trolling me
well first of all you should tell her that's fucking homophobic
and what she doing super homophobic
and she's using it as a pejorative gay
it's very true
first of all that's not right
yeah and I mean that I mean that right? She's using it as a pejorative gate. It's very true. First of all, that's not right.
And I mean that.
I mean that.
Right?
Right?
Right.
You're not fully gay.
So you're a gay-ish.
Yeah.
So you.
Yeah, I am gay-ish.
Yeah.
I think is that a pejorative?
It sounded like a pejorative.
It's celebratory.
What does pejorative mean?
I don't know.
Pejorative means you as an insult.
But yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah. All right. Does your family know you don't know pejorative
Wow
I should use it when I when my dad reaches out. Yeah, you should be like look are you calling me a bitch?
It's a word that's an insult not an insult in
Yeah, you fucking pejorative
It's describing what what the insult is. Yeah, like the word Jew.
The word Jew can be used as a pejorative when you're talking to someone who's Jew.
Who's tagging her and why can't I be declips?
Now she's mad at me because I'm talking about it on why can't I be a day?
She's doing a special, the story.
Oh, okay.
So she's watching this live?
No, she's doing the fucking story.
Oh god damn it.
Now I'm in trouble for that.
Yeah, but with the takeaway is just talking,
you were talking about how good she is.
I know, it's a theory.
It's fucking tired of getting a boyfriend,
you'll fight that guy.
I can sick of it.
Seriously, dude, like a brother, I can't listen.
Listen, listen, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I know Karen. I know Karen very well. You got to just back off now
You got a back off
Back off
That's gonna make that would be if you really want to apologize you got a back off. I did apologize
No, I'm saying the real apology would be you shutting the fuck up. No! That would be in a bulletin. That's the way life works. You don't get somebody to bully you.
That is the way life works.
You're being an adult!
No, yes, no, no.
You can't just come so.
No, I will not be bullied and then go cool.
I guess I'm the asshole.
That's self-awareness and acceptance.
You weren't bullied.
Give me the righteous bandana.
The bomb bandana.
It is the righteous, the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana.
It's the right way bandana. It's the right way bandana. It's the right way bandana. It's the right way bandana the bomb bandana it's the righteous the right way
bandana
I wear it with pride
and that word is not a pejority
you gotta do a story where
you gotta do a story where Lewis
apologized to Corrine
can we do a new story please
and tagger this time did you tagger
did you tagger you fucking bitch Wow Lewis is fucking ready to go on everybody
Who sorry you want? I'm on every man's side. She couldn't be more neutral in this Lewis
She hasn't said anything I hate her you're yelling
Are we doing a story now?
Are we doing a story go okay? I would like to apologize to Corinne Fisher and I hope she watches the entire
episode where I said nothing but fucking good things about your Corinne. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Just say Trump 2020 at the end of it. You just plug cameo now now Lewis what kind of meeting is this what kind of power do we have what are you talking about now
Sorry to make you do white power, but you don't
You got a plug cameo with you really meant you plug cameo you would do a cameo apology if you were real
You know what if you guys put me $33 I I will apologize to anybody you want on Cameo.
Wait, I got a good idea. Why don't you why don't you pay for a cameo request from her to apologize to apology?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, well,
I'm not saying you apologize.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody.
I'm not saying you apologize to anybody. I'm not saying you apologize to anybody. I'm not saying you apologize to anybody. I'm not saying you apologize to anybody. I'm not saying you I don't want to solve this
I
Was it what do you suggest?
We're gonna come here right now and I'm making her apologize to me. Oh my god. Yes, that's what I had oh my god
The rattlesnake is taking its final form as a troll.
I'm dead ass.
Here.
Here.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah, shit.
Incredible.
All right, this is the end of my podcast.
Well, I guess this is the end of my podcast.
No, she knows you're on her side.
Yeah, you're there.
But all you gotta do is apologize to your dad and you're fine.
God damn it, I'll never do that.
All right, I'll never do it.
I would rather, I would rather, no way.
I'm definitely, I'm different than you.
It's a blue blood rattlesnake.
What did you say?
What did you say?
Number is gonna be up 30.
No, obviously don't pull my phone number.
Yeah, my mic, my mic, my mic.
You as you fucking head, dude.
That's why he's trying to fix it.
He's saying let's not do that
That's why I don't oh, oh, oh, yeah, don't just don't you doesn't need to be yelled at
Hold on time out everyone in the room can see my phone number. I don't give a shit about you guys in my number
Your card oh, yeah, are you guys gonna steal my credit card? Yeah, well, yeah, he's been to someone by her family. She might she me. Yeah, yeah listen
I need the $43 on your credit card.
Yeah. It's your Lewis's card. Um, my man. Go ahead. Lewis, Jay Gomez. Uh, uh,
what would be funny if we saw Lewis's real name? You get a fraud alert immediately. If
it wasn't like weed or CBD oil, were buying. Like this isn't Lewis.
So my truck's a corner.
So, oh, and I need to use some cheering up.
So, yeah, right, right. Please say, Hey bitch, I thought you were going to start.
Hey bitch.
Oh, okay, please say it in quotes.
Lewis, I am.
No, hey, I'm Korean Fisher.
I'm Korean Fisher. Hey, I'm Korean Fisher.
Korean Fisher.
Hey, I'm Korean Fisher.
Of the guys we got it.
What is it?
Of the formerly popular podcast guys we've got.
Yeah, that's a goody.
And beating the horse into the deck ground to less lonely girls.
And the way less known to less lonely girls and he way less known to put a
parentheses lightning doesn't strike twice
lightning my dad already left me me. It's lightning. Lightning that lightning.
My dad already left me.
Come on, why can't I be D in there?
My guess murder will.
Lightning.
There's an E.
There's an E holy shit.
It's not even.
Yeah, where you still.
All right, lightning doesn't.
This is inferior.
Zach cannot spell.
You're spelling lightning wrong.
It's fine.
It doesn't matter.
Okay.
Lightning doesn't strike twice. It's only lightning wrong and It's fine. It doesn't matter. Okay. Um, lightning doesn't strike eyes. I'm currently in the formally popular podcast guys, we fucked in the way less known
to Lesley girls. Like this is strike twice in parentheses. I would just like, I would
just like to formally apologize to the Puerto Rican rattlesnake. To formally apologize to the,
formally, oh my God. Really formally.
Read it from here, that's why.
I would like to formally apologize
to the formally in shape, Louis J. Gomez.
No, we're not, we're not hurting me here.
I'd like to formally apologize
to the Puerto Rican rattlesnake
for my insubordination. I For
My insubordination
Shown on Twitter or so too many too many oh
So we reached the max just leave it
It's a combination for the four-year-oldake Trump 2020 done Trump 2020. That's it.
Yeah.
After rattlesnake Trump 2020 or build that wall will work as well.
Trump.
Interchangeable.
We'll both work.
Oh my god.
Okay.
Yeah.
Alright now do you have my email address?
You figured out.
I mean, I got it.
Oh.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
If you honest, you're fucked. This is so funny. If you honest has a black heart.
Yeah, yeah.
Karen will think this is funny.
If Karen does think this is funny,
I don't want to be your friend.
I swear to God, if she doesn't open this up
and laugh her fucking tits off of her,
this is fucking hilarious.
That's it.
We don't need to be friends in fucking life.
This is the funniest thing ever.
She's gonna love it.
This is the funniest thing ever.
She's gonna love it.
She's gonna love it. She's gonna love it. This is the funniest thing ever
If she doesn't do it you should complain to can't going to Smith. I'm gonna report her account. I'm gonna pay my $33
Do they get their money back if you don't do it. Yeah, Lewis James. Yeah, I'm not. Lewis James, Godness. Don't fucking read my fucking email address.
You stupid fucking dumb idiot.
You don't have it on your website?
No, I'm my personal email address on my website.
Hmm, yeah.
Let's do a read.
I, people were doing, they were,
they were signing me up for like coming to,
times with having AIDS,
the mailing lists, and like coming out to your family. And like I, there was a time where one guy would sign me up for like coming to terms with having AIDS, the mailing lists, and like coming
out to your family.
And like, I, there was a time where one guy would sign me up for like three or four mailing
lists a day.
And it was, it's not, it's only seven seconds of work to click on subscribe four times,
but it bothers you.
About the 30th day, you're like, oh, you fucking hate unsubscribing for email lists.
This sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Did you book it?
Well, I can give them my zip code one oh two six find me bitches
I shouldn't go to my zip code. We put that out. I mean, this is funny. This is truly a funny thing Yeah, when when's it gonna go your request is it immediately? Oh wow, yeah, please
That's great. She just got a notification. Oh, man. Oh, it's good. I think she heard literally her head's gonna explode
Is it gonna go right through
Yeah, you get enough occasion to meet a notification immediately. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh boy.
This is.
I have two freaks out right now.
Too funny.
She's obviously thinks it's funny
because that tweet she sent was funny.
I know, but I don't.
She sent me right now.
She's not happy with me.
The humor calibrator is a little bit off
in terms of like labeling you and your fans as Trump supporters.
Yeah, I just, I,
I think humor's there.
It's just a little off from the center of funny.
I just don't, it's fine.
I just feel like there are so many Trump supporters.
This whole thing of using Trump supporters
a pejorative.
Word of the day.
Word of the day is like, I can't believe people are still doing that. Yeah, it's like
Do you understand how much that's gonna backfire again? It's like half the country is Trump supporters
They're like a lot of most of them are just good normal people
Yeah, yeah, they don't want to be told what to do or what to think yeah, I mean, you know
And you're also I mean your hamsters motto is live for your die. Yeah, you create
Trump supporters. They're creating more
Alt-right. They're creating more young white guys who are supporting that side because you these guys don't talk. You can't be that
You guys don't give a fuck though. I don't give I'm voting not only white. I mean this whole the way the media frames it
It's like the majority of white women voted for him
40 something percent of Hispanics voted for him. something percent of his spanics voted for him
like immigrants he's the most popular
legal immigrants love trump
i mean he's the most popular republican president among the
i was in texas and i thought some some ex-cats and texas
and i was like i was almost hate Trump and they're like no i love Trump
like wait what
i thought all Mexicans would hate him and i could have a whole my head around
immigrant parents love because we just hear so much of like this New York
Liberal attitude. I didn't even get into conversation. I don't even know why they love them. I was like that's fucking crazy. I don't feel like I don't feel like I even hear that much of the
Liberal attitude in the comedy world, but really?
Yeah, I mean I really?
What? Yeah, I don't I mean I hear
Have you been a Sarah Silverman's Instagram lately?
I mean I hear I hear, I hear,
is it like, cause you don't smell something
cause you smell it so often,
or you're just, are you a suit at this point?
Maybe, I probably,
but I check in with Pat and I was like,
there's like a couple,
there's a couple of comics that are really crazy about it,
you know, but then there's the ones that I know
are usually like in the middle,
like they're like, both sides are wrong.
So like all our friends, but like people are insane about.
I feel like there's two extremes,
and then there's a lot more people
who are somewhere in the middle,
and they're just like having to choose.
Yes, I think in life,
but I don't think in the entertainment industry,
I think specifically,
comics who are encouraged to have a perspective and an attitude,
and honestly, when comics have nothing going on,
the only thing they have going on
is sort of that side they're choosing now.
And that's what they're getting their likes on.
That's what they're getting their retweets on.
It's like they sort of pick a political side.
And this has created an identity.
It's the new goth.
It's the new fucking goth kid is picking one of those identities.
And-
That's what I said about trends and non-binary.
Yeah, Ian.
Wait, what?
What? What? Oh, when we were talking last time. Oh yeah, Ian. Wait, what? What?
What?
Oh, when we were talking last night?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I can think of my head right now.
I can think of probably like eight comedians
who are Trump supporters that, but pretend not to be.
Oh, yeah.
He's, I mean, it's not, yeah.
It's like, they're everywhere.
I have a friend who stays in a Trump hotel
every time he comes to New York.
Yeah, I know when we were talking about it.
I know when we were talking about it. Because we got, yeah.
Because he has some work show so much,
but he would never, ever, ever say it.
I can't say it.
I mean, and I know what, I'm thinking about like eight
like successful, like, you know,
because it tax reasons?
No, they just, because of the culture,
they just can't say it.
Yeah, you can't say it.
Yeah, the other night,
they feel like a comic on stage,
asked in the crowd, like, who are you
a sports drum and this black family from Atlanta was like
Woo!
And the in re in what the fuck?
What happened?
What just happened?
Something come out.
I didn't kick anything.
I might have legs that have moved.
Did all the mics cut out?
Oh, that's right there.
Okay, sorry.
Dude, when this black family said they support a drum and you just saw in real time, the comics had explode of like,
but like, what, you've been conditioned to-
Yeah, I love that.
Me, Democrat.
I love that.
Mental eugenics.
Wait, was I on that show with you?
I feel like you turned to me and you were like,
I remember being on a show with you
where you like turned to me and you were like,
what the, did you see that?
No, this was a Caroline's, you know what I mean? Oh, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, okay. No, maybe you were telling me about it. Trump would not have won without women.
He wouldn't have won without white women.
He wouldn't have won.
He wouldn't have won without Hispanics.
He's like, he just won't have won.
So it's like this, the way it's framed
is like so hilariously false.
You're going like, you're living in a fantasy land
and you continue to.
And one way is it framed you're saying.
It's framed is like, these angry white guys
in the rust belt and like, they all banded together and were like you know what racism won fuck a people
yeah it's what the narrative is that Trump is a racist president who's trying to you know kill people
yeah he's trying to kill brown people and people it's just it's the whole narrative is just silly
I I stay out of it I don't't, I don't, I think literally anybody
who's the president of the United States,
I think inherently you have to be a bad person to get there,
to even navigate the world, to get where you are the person,
and you play that political game where you're the fucking
president, I think you have to,
I feel the same way about gas digital.
Yeah, to become a serial, you have to hurt people.
You don't get anything in life, if you a CEO of gas digital, you have to hurt people.
You don't get anything in life of proof if you rise up at the top, baby.
But I mean, anybody, whether it was Hillary or Trump or whoever, these are people that
will sell the lives of people in thousands of people in countries for nothing.
I mean, we're, we're, but it's the same, even in the entertainment industry, like it's
like to get there, you gotta be a fucking, you gotta have like cold, lizard blood.
It's kind of natural.
But the difference is there's not much more at stake
when you're in the entertainment industry.
It's not people's lives in the rest of the state.
Yeah, people's aren't at stake.
What's at stake is your own personal security,
your family's personal security.
So it's a little different.
Yeah, it's very different.
I don't mind people being a narcissist
and trying to become the absolute best comedian possible.
But to become the president and ens signed death a once for entire countries,
you have to be pretty fucked up and disconnected
from humanity.
So the idea that any of these people are gonna be good
for the country, I go, yeah, they're fucking evil.
I'm gonna go and do whatever the fuck I can do in my life
to be absolutely as successful as possible,
give my kid everything that he needs to give,
regardless of whoever's in fucking power.
Because it doesn't matter, whoever's there
isn't gonna affect what I do.
Regardless, it's really, I really, truly believe that
on the deepest, deepest level, I have my own path
and that's not one of the variables that are gonna affect it.
And I think everyone should kind of feel that way
because the reality is nobody really fucking knows
what's going on behind this.
I don't know why I feel this way
and I don't know how it would pan out,
but I do feel like eventually we're just gonna find out that we don't need a fucking president. Like I don't know how it would how it would pan out, but I do feel like eventually we're just going to find out that we don't need a fucking president.
Like I don't know how it's going to be.
Oh, like the hoes of the Oscars?
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly like that.
Or just be better with that.
Like, because I do, I agree, like I think that we're, it doesn't seem to make that much
of a fucking dent in people's lives.
No, it doesn't.
Well, with the exception of the fact that like he's making these fucking horrible decisions,
he's putting like kids in cages and he's a fucking monster and I.
And he was going to meet with the Taliban, the Taliban to have like negotiation.
I'm sure he says it's Taliban.
I just, I'm not sure.
You play him saying that.
Yeah, Taliban.
Taliban.
Taliban.
Taliban.
Well, that's why we have the president.
So there's a face to put on all those things.
Yeah, but people can't handle there being
an abstract concept of who's in charge.
Right, and-
Which I also kind of get too, because let me tell you something.
You try to fucking contact Instagram.
There's no person.
You just write a fucking,
you put a ticket out into the ether and you're like,
all right, well, that's it.
No one's dealing with it.
That type of thing I understand that you need to personify it.
There needs to be a person.
It was like, remember that pharmaceutical guy,
Martin Scroly, that is every pharmaceutical company.
They jack up the price of medications,
but because it was a person,
it was an actual person, a name, a guy,
the douchey guy who bought the fucking DMX tapes
over the fucking, people wanted to hate that guy so badly,
but it's like he wasn't actually doing anything
that all these other companies were doing.
They're dope too. Right, right. Well, we got this, only the human species, People wanted to hit that guy so badly, but it's like he wasn't actually doing anything that all these other companies were doing. Other don't do.
Right, right.
Well, we got this, only the human species
is the only species where you have such a wide variety
of vast gap in intelligence.
You know, if you're a cheetah, you're pretty much a cheetah.
Yeah.
Every other animal is like pretty much that.
It's like, there's no range where it goes from like,
Elon Musk level intelligence. It's fucking cheetahs just fucking. It's like, skank range where it goes from like Elon Musk level intelligence.
Fucking cheetahs just like skank fest fan. You know what I mean? It's like. So how do
you manage that? Like how do you manage? You need, you need like plotting evil people
just just kind of to deal with all the stupidity. I mean like well, you need that you need
sort of like to have creativity or ingenuity or any of that.
You need sort of that evil need for greatness. You need that evil need to try to get laid.
That's where, that's where, that's how people figured out how to get to the fucking moon.
Some dude was trying to get his dick sucked. Okay, simple as that. That was the whole motivation
for getting to the fucking moon, building sky scrapers, building fucking Apple.
These guys wanted to feel like the shit and they wanted to get their dick sucked,
and that's where they created great fucking things.
And when you sort of kill that,
I feel like we are kind of dulling down who we are
as a society in terms of productivity.
I think we should be figuring our own ways
to encourage that while respecting other people's boundaries.
Yeah, well, I think we just have to continue
to keep figuring out
ways to keep poor people outside of Nantucket and places like that. Like they just, you got to keep,
you can't have the floodgates open for people being like, I have a voice too. And you're like, what do
you got to say? And you're like, it's like hands, you know, you got to keep those people.
Well, that's the other thing is like,
back in the day.
You use a pejorative against them.
Back in the day.
In order to share an idea with a thousand people,
and you had to be fucking motivated,
you had to go and do some shit.
A thousand people, you had to gather them.
You had to print fires and hand them out.
And it was so much work.
It would take hours, if not days, to contact a thousand people
and share an idea with them
And now any idiot can just share any idea without any thought
Nothing, dude, and then we give a ledity to it the more people see it. Oh, no, dude
There's people who will like speed of information also doesn't allow us to sit reflect and look at how it affects us
You know, we just respond immediately
That's it. There's no and just yell a Korean
We used to what we did use to sit on the toilet though,
and used to take a shit and think about
how your day could be better.
You spent 15 minutes going, dude.
How could I be better person today?
Like looking out on the window.
Yeah, dude.
And now you're just on your phone.
You're always, you've got a game going on.
You're just, you're so distracted
from making yourself a better person.
And I think that is the major downside of technology.
And that's something that we don't know
how to handle as a society just shit. And I think they're gonna limit the amount of screen time in the future. I think that's all major downside of technology. And that's something that we don't know how to handle as a society just shit.
And I think they're gonna limit the amount
of screen time in the future.
I think that's all gonna be like some FCC shit.
In the future, you'll be like,
you only get a certain amount of hours a day,
you're phone.
Yeah, it's a 1984 hour of hate.
Yeah.
Just look at Twitter for one hour and feel your outrage
and then get it out.
It's crazy.
What I've said is like all the things we used to complain about
and be negative about, I kind of miss and think,
like, oh, and now, like, oh, I see why it was good.
Like, remember how you say,
like, oh, there's real no difference between the parties,
Democrats and Republicans are kind of the same.
And now it's like, there's a far right and a far left
and like, Trump's the president, you're going like,
you know, yeah, it was better back
when the parties were the same and like,
but they are still the same.
They're both still saying the same shit.
They're both like,
everyone that disagrees with me should fucking die.
Everyone that disagrees with me is a fucking idiot.
So knowledgeable about everyone's opinions, emotions,
and every bit of news it comes out.
Before it was like, there were only five news stories a day,
and you spent the rest of the day
interacting with people and thinking.
Well, and then now you're getting a barrage
of all this bad news.
And as humans, we're born, and we have empathy,
so you feel for these things, and then it just dictates your emotion
and how you attack other things.
But like, it used to be like the guys
who all became presidents on the right
or left side of the aisle,
they all went to Yale together,
they kinda knew each other.
They all knew each other.
Right, it's like back where they leaned
to the left and right,
and they knew how to act and,
they went to Yale,
they're still doing that.
But it's like, no,
well, I mean, they are,
but like Trump is president.
Well, Trump was a new,
you have a look at the nation, but he was a New York Democrat, but he's like no, no, well, I mean they are but like Trump is Trump was a new you have a look at But he was a New York
But he's like a he's a celebrity like he's actually a celebrity game show host
He's a celebrity
He's a mom lord from Queen. Yeah, he's like a celebrity and he kind of broke it
And you're going like, oh, this is we should probably go back to like a conspiracy controlling the country
That's a good thing. That's a good thing when guys meet and go like,
how do we keep this in order?
But that's what Mitch McConnell's trying to do
when it's totally fucking the country.
I support it.
Fuck you.
Whatever it is, whatever people in fucking line,
I support it.
But the difference was it used to be both sides
conspiring now, it's just one side
when he called to control, I would say.
Yeah, yeah.
Like there was some form of reaching across the aisle
and then now it is just completely not backing down,
and making the other person apologize to you on camera.
No, I think that DC, that's what it is.
DC is doing the same shit that they,
It truly is.
That DC is still doing the same shit they've always done.
It's just that the rhetoric is so much more fire.
The rhetoric, rhetoric.
I mean rhetoric.
Oh, sorry, the rhetoric. Wow, that's a real so much more fire. Retort rhetoric. I mean rhetoric. Oh, sorry, the rhetoric.
Wow, that's a real teleban.
Okay.
I was gonna say, like,
the rhetoric is still, is just more extreme than it always was.
For sure.
So like because of Twitter,
it's like, is Jesus.
Oh, no, it's Jesus.
But I think they're still doing the same shit.
They're still having dinners together
and like, shaking hands at the end of it. Yeah, I think more we want. We need terror, so I'll support. But I think they're still doing the same shit. They're still having dinners together and like Shake and hands at the end of it. I think I agree with Rose, but I think it's marketing and I think it's part of like you know
Fox News has this narrative and then MSNBC has a different narrative and they sort of set up this thing
You go like all those guys are evil those guys are evil and the reality is behind closed doors
They're all just fucking counting money. They're all helping each other out. And they're distracting us without rage.
So that's why whenever somebody goes extreme
on one side of the other,
I'm like, you're just a fucking idiot.
Yeah, I agree.
I think you're a fucking adult.
Even if you even consider yourself on one side of the other,
if you just, if you call yourself
I'm a Democrat or a Republican,
I think you're a fucking adult.
I would really do.
I'll give you this example.
It did use to like fucking extreme.
When the Amazon, when the Amazon deal got rejected in New York, what?
When the Amazon was gonna come here, they were gonna move the renforge.
All the Democrats, you know, all the local Democrats for the most part were in favor of
it.
Obviously Republicans were in favor of it.
It was the progressive wing that kind of rejected it.
That's a new thing.
And they, so they used to be similar in that they would they would both they would both
Accept Amazon one Amazon to come and now there's a progressive wing going whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
No, that's not for the people and they are about but it's about the people
Or is it about some other issue? What do you not that they're trying to block because I'm just saying it's evidence of that things are different now that
But I think that's not a case for a long time. They've always been lobbying against each other
with they would always have like,
I watched a very limited knowledge about politics
and social issues, but I can think of an example
of how the UFC wasn't legal in New York.
Yeah, it's all UFC.
It wasn't legal in New York,
but it had nothing to do with the UFC
and nothing to do with the most large.
For the Trump is like Bellator.
I'm just saying they're split now.
The left is split, the left is split the right is split
Yeah, not a response to what happened with the tea party and
Shut the fuck up exactly this
Talk about the tell the fucking politics pop this over here
I didn't start it. Yeah, you did
I'm the line that pushes all over the edge though is when you said what about the tea party?
Yeah, no, we know it was because we were saying Trump 2020 and then I I did start it because I said that we're framing Trump
We were saying Trump 2020 and then I did start it because I said that we're framing Trump Yeah, there it is.
Let's just pull it take the blade.
Let's pull it back.
Check in with our friend Karin.
Did Karin text you?
Let's see.
Let's check in with our pal Karin.
Well, she texted me.
Oh boy, I'm living your entire life like a WWE match, which I feel like is.
Yeah.
Nash can be mad because I read that text.
She's cutting a promo.
As well.
I don't even know.
She tweeted that we're not friends anymore.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
Yeah speaking of wrestling we went and saw Rolla say and how fucking fun was it? It was my first time seeing a wrestling like any wrestling thing
Five yeah, I've been changed really it was fucking great electric
Yeah, it's so funny. I was like and by the way
You think America's divided and then you walk into a fucking rest
WWE event and you're like holy shit look at all these people
No religion, no politics, no right, I mean no money for sure but like not
But like sports in general I think sports it sports entertainment movies like you said in the movie theater
There's 300 people watching the same movie laughing at the same time
movies like you said in the movie theater there's three people watching the same movie laughing at the same time.
Stone Cold at the end of it was like where's
Salvo Conno and fucking went up to Salvo Conno and
all the time Madison Square Garden was like
give it up for my buddy.
We're you guys also
shared.
We're you guys said what's out.
We are in the nosebleeds.
But we saw it on the jumbo.
We did.
We saw it on the jumbo. Yes did. We saw the jumbo, Trump.
Yes. South stretch a great guy. You forget that he, oh, yeah, this guy's like really
famous. He's like next level famous. I was like, did he do cameo? Check him out.
Does he do cameo? There's no interesting. He would get way too many requests.
Yeah. Yeah. Chris DeLia has the best cameo. It's $50,000. If I had his money,
I would do that. That's great. It It's not for a massive. That's great.
That's funny.
It's hilarious.
That's great.
Dude, yeah, it was so wild to see like every fucking part
of society together like, I love your shirt.
That's awesome.
Yeah, tap the belt.
It was like, wow, we just need to have everyone live
in Madison Square Garden.
We'll be totally fine.
Comedy used to be like that too.
We're like, you brought people together, you know?
It does still.
It does kind of, but-
They're trying to change the infrastructure
of entertainment in general.
So they're trying to inject politics
and social issues into all entertainment now,
which is psychotic, but it's like, no, no.
We can just laugh at dumb jokes, you know?
Like, they're,
Oh, I wrestling is great.
It's not like, I'm winning for as a woman.
It's like, no.
Yeah, but now you can be funny for a certain audience and then just stop. You don't have to be like, it's great. It's not like, I'm winning for as a woman. It's like, no. Yeah, but now you can be funny for a certain audience
and then just stop.
You don't have to be like,
I mean, how do I get, make these people laugh?
You just go like, these are my people and that's it.
It's done.
And everyone has their own thing
and they build the walls and they go like,
this is my crowd and that's it.
I think I hate that.
You should be able to play anywhere and make it work.
Yeah, I think that there's,
I don't think there's that many people that can just play to, and a specific audience and just make it work. Yeah, I think that there's, I don't think there's that many people that can just play to,
and a specific audience and just make them laugh.
I think it's kinda hard.
I think it's real, like the claptor audience,
like they're not really laughing,
you know what I'm saying?
Like those audiences won't laugh at real comics.
So it's almost like,
it's not even the same thing.
It's almost like they're doing these speeches
that are sort of like humorous or whatever,
but it's like you're a fuck,
you're honest a killer,
by the way, great special dude.
Thank you. Thank you. Go watch it on YouTube. a killer, but a great special dude, fucking awesome.
Thank you.
Go watch it on YouTube.
That's what Yonah's pop is blowing the light.
You guys literally watch it for fucking free,
which is incredibly,
you did it with Andrew Schultz,
productions incredible,
sounds great, looks great,
every fucking clip is killer.
Yonah's is a murderer,
but Yonah's you're also a political comic
to a certain degree,
you talk about issue social issues,
you get into that,
you would have a hard time going and killing
in some of these rooms.
But I try to talk about it in a way
where I put the comedy first.
Of course.
I want the people who wouldn't agree with me to laugh.
I wouldn't even, I wouldn't call you a political comic.
I think that you tow the line sometimes
of certain stuff and online you'd like to talk about it more.
But I try to tone down on that
because that's a problem.
That's a mental, that's what my mental illness shows. Well that's what I'm like fucking going on a rant. I'm going like, who am I try to tone down on that because that's that's a problem. That's a mental That's what my mental illness shows. Yeah, what I'm like fucking going on a random going like what who am I talking to?
Yeah, yeah, it's almost like when you're high and you write a poem and you like the next day when I calm down
I'm going like are you getting high?
Like what am I doing who am I talking to?
You just see all the rappers you're like look at this damage I've done I always feel like an old man telling a story whenever I talk about politics online
I'm like nobody's listening to me nobody
People tweet directly at Trump like comics you like what do you do? Like do you think he's gonna answer you?
Who is this for what are you doing your tweeting at Trump like yeah
You're fucking a real comics
He was at first so I can see why they were doing that
Yeah, yeah, it'll be like some fucking open my comic from Brooklyn. Oh, yeah, like all right dude nice hair Trump
and you're like, all right dude. Nice hair, Trump.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, that's what the thing about the internet is,
it sort of gave us all like a conduit
to express our mental illness.
Totally.
Like, you know, you can see people's like, you know,
when I see like the memes come out,
I'm like, this person's going through in something, you know,
and like there's four with fucking deep quotes in a row.
Right.
All right, when someone's profile picture is like an ocean with fucking deep quotes in a row. Right. Right.
When someone's profile picture is like an ocean with a dog and the sun, it's like, they
just got out of rehab.
Yeah.
We just announced to the world our fucking, oh yeah.
How unstable we are.
I mean, when I'm like manic, I make more like Instagram stories.
Yeah.
And then when I'm not posting, it's like, oh, I'm depressed.
I anytime I'm bored, anytime I'm traveling, if I want to flight.
Oh yeah.
You see, I'm just like an aerobic, I want to fight Yeah, you see I'm just like in a row like
I'm
Frag, Frag, Frag, Frag, Frag,
Arguing with people for no reason like responding to every little thing right. I'm sitting on a runway
Just with nothing to do and I'm bored and I get 80 and I'm staring at my photo alone in a hotel room refreshing the page say something again
You're like, please whatever I write a long thing, it just no,
like, I'm failing at life at that moment.
I should be at the gym, I should be doing something.
Or if I post like, four stories of my dog in a row,
I'm like, so lonely.
Right, right, right, right.
Like, I'm like, I'm waiting for somebody to text me back
and I know they're not going to.
Yeah, and we're only doing it for likes.
It's like, the only reason I'm not, is that dopamine?. Yeah, like why am I showing you my dog for the fifth time?
Yeah, absolutely nobody gives a fuck about my dog. You don't have people like I notice when I when I'm in shape
I end up posting a lot of Jim selfies and then when I'm out of shape I judge people who post
I'm like you are the fucking worst, but I can't see it. It's fucking crazy.
Everything we had in other videos
or reflection myself.
In my mind, that perspective will just change.
Like, do you know what that looks pretty good?
They need to see this.
It's psychotic.
Yeah, it's narcissism.
Yeah, but I, because when I need to be told
that I'm doing well, and that's what motivates me
to lose weight, that's what motivates me to keep going.
So once I lose weight and I'm in shape for a while
and people stop noticing it, they stop going,
oh dude, you look good, you lost a little bit of weight.
Then I get bored and then I go, well, get fat again.
Fuck and then people will notice me for something else
and then they start calling me fat.
You know what I do?
I literally will go, I'll watch somebody
who's in shape post like a half naked selfie, right?
And they're a comic and then I'll try to do it
and then I'll be like, people are gonna say, I'm not funny if I do this so I won't do it. But I've been in great shape
for like six years and I can't fucking post. Like whenever I post something I'll take it down
because I'll be like, everybody's gonna be like, I'm not funny. You know what I mean? It's like
this, it's constant. You got a couple bikini shots out there. We've seen that. Oh yeah, yeah.
I give myself a week. All right, on the beach, June 2016. I remember that beach, I
Remember that beach
Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz you're not a slux
I
We are
Yeah, yeah, we are Screnching
I'm looking at the sun
This is fucking great
Just know that like when a guy looks at your profile
He's looking for vacation
Yeah, that's what I put on the three in a row
Titty
This is why I can't
Screenshot, use that one later
I'm telling you dude, that's why I can't upload this
Hey, don't fly to yourself, I do it Mateo
You just got rejected from a glory home That's why I can't Don't fly to yourself. I do it Mateo
You just got rejected from a glory home
It's way back I think you were still together with
The beach on the Bright sun yeah, she did like a little dance thing. I remember was like a one piece
One-piece bandsuit. Yeah, it's stick guys just we want to see it. We want it. Yeah, yeah
Get us mostly you're so fucking like you're beautiful
So it stands out cuz you don't do it. You don't do it. You're like literally like a fucking
Like I try to avoid it because I because I don't want people to look at me like that
I want people to look at me as a comment. I posted that fucking bikini shot. We were all like, God, yeah.
She got a funny day.
If you were so a little more thirst trap, we would have never remembered that exact shot.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You remember naming Karen Fihenshot right now?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The one where her ass was out was just spreading the bubble.
Which one?
You don't say.
That's why while I feel like if you do it once a year,
then people go, oh shit.
Dude, we've got members specifics.
Memorable, yeah.
We've such good, yeah.
We've got my soul beach.
We've got our own.
I think I saw a beach.
Can we see a beach?
Oh yeah, this old Rosemasters posters.
Wait, go down.
There it is.
We heard, go back, go back.
There we go.
There's one right there.
There's one right there.
There's the best off the one that was her by herself.
Yeah, yes.
Wait, go down.
This is scary.
No, that's not it either.
I probably deleted it.
I think it might have been a stories.
No, you know what it was on Seatons?
Nope.
It was it might have been on Seatons.
Yeah, it was not.
Or maybe she went back and deleted it.
I probably deleted it.
She might have got a call from father.
Oh, I thought.
Her own. Her own. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no deleted it she might have got a call from father I was on your Instagram
we saw your buttocks
we so now we're in winner you
I think I deleted it I must have deleted it
some untisable photos you know there You know, there is a shame the family.
It's hilarious, you guys think.
It's got a monocle.
It's my dad's like the monopoly guys.
And to my son, I'm right there.
The owl on my shoulder is a six.
The photo showed him by a bottle
We may have an issue here
Your daughter is
Bostalamu has brought to my attention
She seems to be hanging out with a chocolate family
We hope you retire this photo.
We just cannot have you be seen with a black man in a pack.
God damn.
Yeah.
Was that a problem with your family's you're dating a black guy?
Yes.
No.
No, it wasn't.
Not at all.
No.
I mean, we're so white that we would, you know, it's like when you, uh...
Are they like excited about it? Like, yeah, we all so white that we would, you know, it's like when you like exciting about it like yeah
We all make chicken for dinner like they're just on a touch that we're excited. No, my family wasn't what they weren't weird
They eat
Do they eat the same type of food that we they weren't weird about it. Just have quarter waters at the dinner table
We got you a pack of gushes sir
How do we put menthol and chicken?
Tonight we have Popeyes.
That's more, you guys are responding like low class white people.
Like really, like, really, up on the white people.
Oh, hello, take a look at us.
Yeah, who the fuck are you talking to, Roseba?
Listen, upper class white people just pretend like they can't see color and everyone's
white to them.
Do you know what I mean?
They pretend like, they'll just pretend like nothing's happening.
How do you not see color?
They're so loud.
They can hear color.
No, they can hear color.
No, no, what they do is they pretend and then they whisper about it behind.
Right.
Yeah, whisper about it behind it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like, it's almost like, they see it as like an inflection and they're trying
to figure out how to solve it.
My favorite T-shirt company.
What?
Infliction.
Infliction.
We'll be right back after these months.
That's it.
We'll take that bomb down a back.
That's very much.
Woo!
Bomber Ruski, thank you very much.
What was that movie?
Get out.
That's how I imagine your family.
It is like that.
That's literally what I imagine. Yeah, it is like that. That's literally what I imagine.
Yeah, it is like that.
Okay.
On my dad's side, my mom's side is totally different.
My mom's like an artist.
Yeah, so my mom does not post voodoo hexes on black people.
She's not like that.
But my dad's side is very, it's weird like that.
You know, like, I remember we went to like a family reunion once and there was, we was in South Carolina
and it's like, everyone who was a guest at this resort was white and everyone that worked there was black and I was like, this just feels like
Oh heaven
I was like, this is like a perfect society. What is going on?
I heard that one hit the catcher's mouth.
That was heat.
It just came in 97.
It was not so.
I was like, this is crazy.
That was the first time where I saw my family and I went, oh, we're bad people.
No.
I mean, it's South Carolina though, right?
It's like that, that's it.
Yeah, I mean, it was part of like what goes on in South Carolina.
But at the same time, I was just like,
this feels wrong to be here.
Right, right, right.
I don't know, man, I just, well, there's power.
Some people in your, the two generations ago,
they had some serious power.
Well, yeah, but it's weird because, you know,
even in like really powerful families,
you have like the black sheep, you know?
And like I have an uncle who's got-
I was seeing.
I've got, no, not even.
I got an uncle, first of all.
Like my uncle was, she's got Hep C,
met his wife in rehab, he has two kids, one of them has-
Hell yeah.
Two kids with like guys in prison,
what are you like excited right now?
You're like touching me.
He rarely hears about other people, what would have to say?
Yeah.
He feels like, nice to meet a brother.
So you know, there's like, and then my grandfather's like
paying to put them through rehab several times.
And it's just like, it's just nuts.
Like it's like these crazy, you know, there's money behind it,
but we gotta keep other people in our family a secret.
And I don't know, the whole thing weirds me out.
Like that whole side of the family just weirds me the fuck out.
So I just haven't been too up.
Why, what weren't you out about?
I'm curious, I'm very curious.
I think it's not even,
it's just that I've never felt like I was in it.
You know what I mean?
Even when I was a kid, I felt like I didn't belong there.
Because people were, I don't like licking the asshole of somebody
that I never even understood why my grandfather was powerful.
I was just like, oh, we gotta go to another one of these work events
and it was like at the White House.
But like, I just, I don't know, I just never felt like I was.
You never felt like that was a world
that you wanted to be a part of.
You were like, you felt like an outsider as a kid
kind of looking at.
That's, I felt the same thing about my family
because they were all white.
So I just felt like, I was literally the only little brown kid
in this family and it just never felt fucking,
it just felt weird.
Yeah, you just always feel like,
and people were always making a big deal out of my behavior
Like my behavior was always a problem. I was too loud. I was too like yeah, so I was just like fuck this whole
Exactly, don't eat like that don't sit like that
Don't and I was like what the fuck can I do, you know, so I just I think I think totally
But you're eating like a savage. Yeah
It's interesting because a lot of times you feel that like see
People want the thing. They're not like you you know rich people always pretend like they're ashamed of it Like when you're young you remember when your kids like yeah, my my rich friends back. I'm not rich
Yeah, I'm not rich shut up bitch. You're fucking rich. Yeah, you own a house
Yeah, and some reason we be angry. I got two pairs of jeans.
Yeah, we were in a bed, not a pool.
If you own a house in my mind, I was like,
how the fuck, it's to this damn,
like what is even the first step?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How would I go, but not being Puerto Rican?
I don't even know.
I make enough money to own a house.
I know for a fact, I make more money
than people that own houses.
Yeah, you do.
But, what do I do?
How do I even fucking fucking I contact a bank?
It's very easy. Do I win them a line of chase and I get one of those slips like this
or a house one instead of a deposit slip? No, my best friend bought a house last year. I feel
the same way when she was going through it. I was just like, what are you? What are you?
80 years old? You're crying a house. It's your deed. Can I see your deed? Yeah.
Grandpa, it's very easy actually. If you, you know, you just go, yeah, you go to a bank
and yeah, get alone and get-
But what is the first step?
Do I literally show up at Chase and go?
I wanna buy house.
I just show up at a buy house.
That's crazy.
Stop looking online at houses,
then get yourself a real estate agent
to show you the houses and to represent you.
And then,
you don't get a real estate agent.
You say when you rent an apartment,
like you just go through the steps.
You know how you figured out how to rent your own apartment?
I falsify documents.
Yeah, basically. That's how you get a how to rent your own apartment. I falsify documents. Yeah, basically.
That's how you get a house.
But you get the bank to help you.
You don't have to, by the way,
you don't have to have good credit,
or let me give you a little bit of scam advice here, okay.
You can falsify all of those documents.
The only thing you can't fuck this credit, though.
The only thing you can, well, I don't know,
rents a good, nobody's fucking credit.
You're renting, rents a good one.
Still I wouldn't recommend it.
If you can't get an apartment, I would easily recommend it. Oh, if you I wouldn't recommend it. If you can't get an apartment, I would easily recommend it.
Oh, if you can't get an apartment.
If you can't get an apartment,
you know, then you can't fake his credit.
Your credit, but the reality is, dude,
a lot of the times,
they don't even run the fucking credit.
So what they do is those,
the old-
He run the credit every fucking time on me,
every time I've rented an apartment.
I say, handful times they have him
because I lie every time and say,
I have good credit and I,
my credit's better now, but back in the day, I had a bismo credit and I would go yeah my credit's great
I would just pretend because I worked for a real estate office and it's depending what they decided to charge a hundred dollars two hundred
$200 that application fee is a bullshit arbitrary fee you could run somebody's credit for six bucks online
Okay, that it's all the whole thing so what they do is they make thousands of dollars in applications
Thousands and thousands and thousands and then they picked two or three candidates that they do is they make thousands of dollars in applications, thousands and thousands and thousands,
and then they pick two or three candidates that they like,
and they only run the credit on those people.
So you can kind of slip through on the credit side,
but you can get templates for tax documents,
you can get templates for letters of employment,
banking statements, you can literally get everything
and just fill it all in.
There's websites that you could falsify everything.
There you go.
How would love to see a sketch where Lewis is telling people out of buy a house.
That's his tent talk.
He's just walking them through how to fucking scam the banks.
We're going to talk about loopholes, ladies and gentlemen.
And they're like, how did you buy your house?
He's like, I've never bought a house.
I have no idea.
We all got a little criminal part of our brains.
Well, I do a little segment here.
We do it on the Realize Podcast.
Shout out Realize Podcasts.
Gaston, in fact, let's do some plugs really quick
because we got a little bit of time left here on the show.
Real quick, let's go around the room and get plugs out of the way
and then we'll talk about some of these delightful scams
that my fans have sent in.
Because you guys, you don't have to pay for Starbucks.
You can get fucking discount sheets,
free meals, there's a lot of things
you can get in the world that I'm gonna teach a lot
of people how to do this in just a minute.
But let's go around the room, Rosebud,
what would you like to plug?
I will be at JFL 42 at the end of the month,
co-headlining with my go host, Corinne Fisher.
Yay.
And, yeah, at JFL 42 Toronto, tickets are on my website, www.rosebudbaker.com.
You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at RosebudBaker.
That's about it.
My podcast has been plugged.
Yes, it has.
Go watch my special, blow in the light.
You can just go on YouTube, blow in the light.
Just put it in.
Janus Papis or blow in the light, it comes up.
Hell yeah.
This Saturday, I'm gonna be in Lancaster Dutch Alp and Theater with David Tell.
Next weekend, Friday, I'm in Rochester, New York, Saturday, Buffalo.
Tickets available on my website, eand.eand5DS.com, and I'm gonna be in Europe, October,
7 to 20th, and you can find all that info on my website.
That Europe.
Yeah. That Europe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that chick.
I think I'm going to work with her on some dates.
Yes, bro.
Yeah, I'm doing a bunch of stuff next year next spring.
Yeah, I'm going to fucking London, Berlin, Prague, Warsaw, Switzerland, Norway.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
Do.
Yeah, guys, grab my special Louis Shagomish presents Louis Shagomish presents
Louis Shagomish.com.agom as Louis Shagomish presents Louis Shagomis.com
Yeah, you guys can purchase it or you can listen to it for free if you guys are on
Spotify or Pandora any of those
Apps as well you guys can listen to the album for free a lot of the clips are available on YouTube as well
Dude I've been checking it out man. I really don't like it. Thanks
I really don't like it. Thanks, man.
You got some wide dates coming up.
The Louis Shagamas and Kurt Metzger,
the Shen and Well tour,
coming to a city near you, September 20th and 21st,
Nashville.
We're gonna be in Kalamazoo and Detroit in December.
We got Boston coming up in January,
funny bones, all the recirculous Albany, Connecticut,
Winnipeg, San Francisco,
lots of dates coming up throughout the end of the year
and the beginning of the year.
So make sure you guys are gonna lose.
Shake on, Ms. Prasence, Lwish, Shake on, Ms. O'Connor.
That's gonna be a lot of fun.
That's because of fucking monster.
He's a killer.
I got a bunch of new material that I've worked on
since the special as well.
I think you guys are gonna really,
I got to, I have a joke that is about,
you know the video of me sucking Bobby Kelly's dick?
Yes.
That's been clipped out.
It's just a 10s that can clip of me sucking a dick.
Do you know that?
People have brought that up to me that don't aren't even
doing it. They have no idea.
They're like, what the fuck is that?
I think it's a real dick.
They're like, is it real dick?
People approached me at a wedding.
It was very funny.
I wrote a whole six minute bit about the whole experience
everything and I think fans of this show will really like it.
So come out to those live dates.
Some dates by myself as well.
Los Angeles, October 6th through 9th. The uncle Vinnie's down the shore November 6th through 9th and
a lot of other stuff coming up. So check out the other podcasts, Real-Ass Podcasts, Believe
You Me, and Legionist Gangs, all available on the Gast Digital Network.
How long does it take you as it come up with new material after you burn it for a special?
Because I have such a fear of putting out an album and just having...
Mine came out April 1st and I had 12 new minutes.
Yeah, it takes a little while. Yeah, I'm not. He's just from the Mark Norman Joe list.
I know. These guys are turning over to the real fast. Such a fucking
joke. What I do now is I open with brand new stuff and then I go into I got
the advice from Nate actually Nate because he puts out new shit all the
time and he takes a pause and goes, well, if you guys see the special and then he
goes into the stuff from the special.
So I sort of do that and you sort of let the audience
know so the people that are in on it and know.
Well, wouldn't it be better to start out
strong with shit that works and then go into new?
I think when you have the audience that knows you
that are fans to see, you want to get everyone really excited.
Oh, so they don't want to be like,
oh, I've heard that.
Oh, I got to get your stuff.
And I think they only remember,
they don't remember what's gonna happen in the middle.
They're gonna remember your opening, they're gonna that. Oh, I got. And I think they only remember, they don't remember what's gonna happen in the middle. They're gonna remember your opening,
they're gonna remember your closing, right?
And if you do new shit,
that you're opening and closing,
I think they, you almost tricked them into believing
this whole completely different show.
Right.
I guess I get Bobby's dates in here.
Go to Robert Carly Live.com for Bobby's dates.
Here, when we're watching this,
thank you everyone who came up to see him
at Side Splitters and everyone who's always taping
of the debtorates for Netflix in Las Vegas. Yeah. You can see him at the stress fancy. I can see him. Me,ters and everyone who's always taping of the dead are it's for Netflix in Las Vegas. Yeah
You can see him at the stress factory me him and Gabby
The first week in a October
And I'm the waitress
Mike's a really good comic Mike's got some work to do I've never seen Gabby
Not many people
Yeah, Mike is very funny.
And also check out the creams with kids tour. It's going to start in Reading, Pennsylvania, October, what a fucking killer tour. Bobby
Kelly, Ron Benning, dinner, which was
what a fucking year for comedy coming up. Yeah, that's a
generous thing on.
Miller. Yeah, I think it's killer. Yeah, check out the podcast
that I could have been podcasted. Try out Bobby at Robert I'm sure it's sing on L.A. It looks great. Yeah, I think. I think it's killer. Yeah.
Check out the podcast at WIKEYTOBEDE Podcast, try out Bobby at Robert Kelly Live on Instagram,
check me out at MikekeesWorers and Gabby.
At Gabby is Brian.
I have a podcast called Una Bash podcast and I have a show every first Wednesday of the
month at the way station in Brooklyn and Ian's done it.
And listen to History Hyenas.
Oh, History Hyenas.
Oh, yes.
Wait, go back to that picture because it looks like Ron Bennington lost his leg to diabetes
in the night.
That's so funny. Holy shit.
For a second, I was like, the Ron loses leg.
Where is his leg?
Oh, yeah, you can check me, Yannis, Kristi, and Zach on History hyenas.
It's a great podcast.
It's www.yannis.com for our merch.
And we have Summer Ray on this week.
Yeah, it's coming up that episode.
It's coming up.
I'm so excited to get merch.
That can't do you have anything. Hey, you can check me out on Instagram at human
places that ease a three and I make merch as well for this podcast. Remember to be
happy.com slash shop the twoson number. Chris. Cool. Oh, yeah, let's give everyone
plugs, huh? Yeah, we all get the plug this Christu I'll be sitting here next week
Backling in the back. Yeah, we're in a large sweatshirt
I got a bench fashion podcast and I designed the merch for the show here
So yeah, you could follow me at not that cheney cheney and EY at
I animal and Instagram. There's a lot of podcasts in the world at this moment
Sure, yeah, my podcast sex in the city is available on iTunes, Spotify and Google Play.
Thank you.
Yesterday I did Ted Alexander's podcast where he calls you randomly and like,
oh, that's great.
And I was on my way to do my podcast.
I was going like, this is just getting weird.
Right.
I'm doing a podcast on a way to do another podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is my first podcast of the day.
Yeah. Oh, another one. Last thing to, this is my first podcast of the day. Yeah
Last thing to say Robert Kelly's patreon that Robert Kelly
Dick already
Lucky
Now my call to come
Bill Burz and special out watch the first 10 minutes of it Pretty good. There's gonna be a Ron Bayington on Mass
with Colin Quinn, the Cersei, the Underground.
That's gonna be amazing.
When he's plugging just other things.
It's nothing to do with anyone here.
I'm gonna lunch after this.
I'm gonna fill these, probably at the salad place.
I'm gonna play in the bass.
I might be joining, Yannis.
You have to see us do in the first Mexico call.
You have to set that out.
We might be getting floppled,
but Moon is after this.
He's close.
I'll be right back home.
I'll be right back home.
She's not again.
Just got a promotion to show.
My girlfriend just started teaching preschool in Harlem.
Oh, shit.
She's my wife.
I call her my girlfriend with the fucks over me.
Yannis will be getting divorced.
Yeah, coming up in the fall.
I don't call for these.
I want to thank everybody who came out to my wedding,
shot out, really appreciate.
A lot of guys came out.
It was a great turnout. Great show. It was great turnout great show really appreciate it
Thanks guys. I'm leaving here. I'm planning Zach's bachelor party. We're doing it tonight. I'm going who's going
Handful comics big J and Ori will be there. Oh good. So we're plugging who's going to
Finally got Lewis to be part of the bit who's playing Zach's
And finally got Lewis to be part of the bit who's plays that
I texted who do I text I texted
Somebody's gonna cut the first one of the producers that place takes one of the producers of us like I was like I was like I'm gonna ask batch of party we have hookers to dance and fuck us
My god, oh my god, dude literally. I went to a batch of party last night. It was fucking wrestling. We all matching t-shirts
I was dancing to mans right? Yeah, yeah, I don't even know the bar afterwards. No, dude. We all have matching t-shirts. I was dancing to your mans right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did anything dreamy happened?
Did anything dreamy happened?
No, dude, we had the most wholesome fun
with one crimey.
Sober time in the world.
You went so fucking fast.
You went so fast.
That's what it was.
That's what it was.
It was so fun.
Yes, it was so fun.
It was so fun.
It was sober.
It was so intense.
It was sober.
It was silly.
There was shelter and stone cold. What Morty a wine?
Suck my dick and tonight it's gonna be the polar opposite where someone's gonna die of a pill over
Do it no girls allowed at our bachelor party
I didn't realize I was the only girl invited. I thought that other girls were gonna be there
What a girl. I don't know. It really made me question my whole sexuality.
Did you get your virtual world guy the whole time?
Yeah. You're an angry little boy trapped in a hot, delicious girl's heart.
I just want to skateboard.
Delicious hot girl.
Rosebud's got a fucking slingshot in her back pocket.
Yeah, she's right overalls on the back.
She's like fat, bitch.
She's fucking.
You want to go down to the creek?
I'm not gonna throw a fucking Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson.
I've been naughty.
Do you want to go get snakes in the creek?
You guys, I always thought that I had sex appeal,
but I guess it doesn't.
I guess it's just we we all invited a little bit of
the fucking-
The sex appeal of the one, Amalop.
Nice, nice, thank you so much.
Well, you know what?
You said what?
Fuck.
Real quick, I'll give you guys a couple great scams to pull off.
Maybe you guys can add to this.
And the scams-
Stop with the scams.
Scams had juice segment from the real-ass podcast.
Actually, I love scams.
Less night.
I helped Rosebud get money off of a vape
and I fucking love the eggling. You were the only vape, and I fucking love the haggling.
You were the only one who enjoyed that interview.
I love haggling.
What happened?
I walked into a fucking vape store,
and Ian tried to haggle for a fucking vape charger.
How much money did I get you off?
You got me half off.
Yeah, you tell me.
You're welcome.
Yup.
It was half off, yeah.
Yup. Then he tried to skim off the,
he was like, you know,
give me the 20 that I saved you.
Well, we're not gonna tell that.
I'm not doing that.
I was fucking around, it was a band.
He was.
But if he gave me the money,
it would have kept him.
I saw Ian outside of a bar recently.
Yeah.
He walked up to me,
he just got into free slice of pizza from Joe's pizza.
He's like, do you have a napkin?
I just came all over myself. You're so happy that it's free slice of pizza. Joe's pizza. He's like, do you have a nap? Can I just came all over myself?
You're so happy that it's free slice of pizza.
And I just come from a different era.
I just grew up watching Bobby Kelly and Vals
and Patrice and all these guys bust each other's balls.
Some of these two hot chicks outside of this bar.
So did I.
By the way, Ian walks up with Irene Morales.
And he goes, oh, I got this free slice.
It's so good. I'm so happy to be free.
And I was like, Zane, if you want a free size you're so happy and I just
Smack this like that
I slapped it under the floor and
Notmatic nobody left
All the women were hard words and were hard for the hard for the stuff. Why would you do that?
Why would you ever do that to another human?
Hardly showed up because he got sauce on your shoe.
I got the whole size of me to slap down to my shoe.
And then I start overlapping, like extra because nobody else is laughing.
And I'm sweating now because there's pizza on my shoe.
And no one's, I'm bombing right now.
Like a leather Jordan.
I really don't know.
I really don't know.
Walked away, won't look at me.
So I think Iron Realist officially hates me now from this interaction.
Well, she hates you before.
But also, dude, and then I do water on loose.
I almost threw it on him.
And so mad dude, he was literally almost tears in his eyes.
No, I did that to Michael Blosson.
I did that to Michael Blosson like two years ago.
So funny.
And I swatted a salad out of his hands.
He's like, I do wait so fucking long to get this salad.
It tastes like shit. And I was like, so fuck your salad. And I swatted it salad out of his hands. He's like, I had to wait so fucking long to get the salad. It tastes like shit.
And I was like, so fuck your salad.
And I swatted it and it hit a cab.
And I've never been so, I mean, I literally thought Michael was going to hit me.
I was like, he was so fucking mad.
He was so mad that I went to buy him a sandwich.
I was like, it's sorry.
I was like, man, for a second, but then I always find the positive things.
I said, you know, it's better that I didn't eat the second slice of pizza because my belly didn't need it so thank you Lewis for being a friend. Yeah, Lewis need somebody to do that
Slap the food out of your mouth.
All right, that's the end of the episode. I got the last job. Bye. We can wrap this one actually. It is. It's about an hour and a half. Perfect.
All right. Look, you guys are fucking dope. Thank you, Robert Kelly. The great Robert Kelly.
Yes.
For letting me do it. He's gonna. I've seen his 50. He's gonna crush the degenerates.
Yeah. It's gonna be so fucking fun. Yeah. He's a monster. It's Jim Norton as well.
Adrian, Nicky, Adrian, fucking believable comics. Miss Pat. Yeah, so it's gonna be pretty awesome.
And, you know, I'm looking for a new agent
because they didn't even get me,
my tapes are metered for it.
So anyway, if you guys are out there
and looking to rep,
commuting with a lot of downside.
Ha ha ha.
Woo.
Very problematic as not much upside.
Yeah, that's it.
No, I'm kidding, obviously, I love my agent.
Um, that's it.
That's it.
Goodbye.
Hey, thank you.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Back to your shitty jobs.