Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mayo City
Episode Date: March 25, 2019Bobby's joined by Nick Mullen, Mike Cannon and The Legend Rich Vos in this rollercoaster of an episode! We talk living in your car, beginner archaeology, and Bonnie McFarlane drops in to scramble Nick...s programming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude, on the riotcast network, riotcast.com.
Hey, what's going on?
You know what, dude, fans, this is, I know you want to go right to the video, but that's
not going to happen.
So I've asked you help before and I'm asking for it again.
I've asked for it with GoFundMe for people's medical bills and Christmas time for the
children's hospital and the toy drives.
And you guys have always come through.
You're the most generous fans I know.
You're unbelievable.
And I thank you for that.
But I need you to help me once again.
My sister, Lisa, has kidney disease.
She's had it most of her life.
Around 20 years ago, she got a kidney transplant and it saved
her life. But those organs only last for around 16 years. In 2016, that kidney started to fail
and she had to go back on dialysis four times a week. That's where they suck all her blood out,
filter it and put it back in her body. It takes around three hours, three to four hours.
They have to stick it.
It's just, it's awful.
She can't go anywhere because she has to be on dialysis.
A flu could take her out.
Her immune system is so low that she has to just survive and that's no way to live.
And you can help.
If you could go to leaseskidney.com and just read about it and then maybe click on the link
and if you might be able to fill out the form and see if you could be a donor, that would be great.
I know it's huge. Do you want me to give you a kidney because I like your podcast?
No, I get it. If you don't want to do it, I get it. I understand.
But if you could, there's thousands of people that listen to this podcast,
this thousands of people on my social media, this thousands of people that have
seen me over the years and like my comedy. So maybe just one of you could do it.
That would save my sister's life. So please, if you just even pass this on,
if you push 15 seconds, I get it. I understand.
If you already saw this commercial I put in front of you, I'm not doing okay. You know, I get it.
Move on, go to the show, enjoy yourself. But if you can, please again, leasescanneed.com. Go
there, fill it out, see if you can be a donor or pass it on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to this.
And maybe one of you can help my sister live a healthy, happy life.
And that's it.
Thanks.
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth.
This is going to be a claustrophic.
This podcast has no rules.
Welcome to the Mike Asshole. I'm sure I've already This is gonna be a claustrophic. This podcast has no rules.
Talking to the mic asshole,
I'm sure I've already said, should I regret it?
Can I get a microphone?
No! What the fuck?
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down,
and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's...
...tent no topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin.
That's how it all holds the
God you motherfuckers
You want a day you think my podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life?
You never know?
You know what do you podcast on whitecast.com
Yeah Yeah, oh Everything is down. I was the fucking most boring Instagram. Sure. I've ever done
Well, what's that? I was just staring at him waiting for things to happen. Oh, yeah
You're doing this self face facey Call them face. I call them face.
Because it's not a self.
It's a face.
It was the whole body.
It'd be a self.
True.
Right.
That's so true.
Am I right?
That's true.
That's my new thing.
You're not wrong.
When I say something, I go, am I right?
Yeah.
That's right.
Am I right?
Famous people and they go, that's true.
No, this is true.
If you notice, famous people, that's correct.
That's right.
That's right.
Uh, famous people do that. That's right. How you notice famous people, no, that's correct. That's right. That's right. Famous people do that.
That's right.
How you doing?
Hey, you're a stubble.
You're a mother's a fucking nice person.
Shit, I know my mom sucks.
Can't make mom jokes.
We're gonna get through, I got my ad.
I don't know if you know about these ads.
Yes.
Yeah, I do ads.
I know you do.
Yeah.
I'm just being silly.
Oh, being silly. And you've never been one for being silly. I know you do. Yeah, I'm just being silly. Oh, I'm being silly
You've never won for us being silly. I'll get into it. Well, you get into it
Glad to have you back buddy. Yeah, it's good to say it. Yeah. How's your girl? Sorry. Everybody's good. Everybody's everybody Is everybody I know is doing good stops good. Yeah, that was good. Awesome
Let's shut that off.
We.
You know, you spend a 130 life in bed. I don't.
Well, how much do you spend? Uh, well, maybe now, well, how much did you spend?
I don't know. I used to try to minimize it. You don't need to, you know, you're,
what?
You know, there's, there's people that only need to sleep like three hours a night.
Oh, uh, general Stanley, Macrystal and Bill Clinton.
Yeah, Bill, Bill, good as fucking.
Yeah.
Bill's banging.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, he lives off the blood of children.
So, all right, we're going to do this to this ad first.
Before we get to view our political views.
Well, uh, political views.
It's a bad. All right. Can we finish? I want to know about this. But let's just do these ads.
First, let's get these out of the way. Fuck it. Nick is the best. I spent a 30 life in bed people.
And it's about time. Uh, you get a bedding upgrade. I think Mike could do this. Talk about,
listen, here's a deal.
I got these sheets on my bed.
I got three pairs.
They gave me one.
I'm gonna be honest.
They gave me one.
I bought two.
My wife bought two.
She loved them so much.
I love them and the more you sleep on them,
the better they get.
But when they come out of the box,
right out of the gate, very comfortable.
Five star hotel sheets.
They sat in or per cow.
I don't know that what that means. I think it's the way that they per cow satin or per cow. I don't know that what that means.
I think it's the way that the per cow, the per cow.
Nice.
Okay.
I don't know what does that mean?
I think it's, I was just trying to fuck you up.
Oh, you can't fuck me up because the problem with me is that I will be honest how dumb I
am.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how you can't catch me.
I think it has something to do with the way the threads interlock. Yeah, yeah. That's how you can't catch me. I think it has something to do with the way the threads in her lock.
17 is like one every three. There's a horizontal and per cows. If one of you, that would tell you I love you.
I just I just love time. You're fucking the who the fuck knows that? I don't know. I spent a lot of time looking in sheets.
I do. But you don't have to anymore. You just gonna 30 your life in bed. It's an important decision. It really is a point.
You're going to 30 your life in bed. It's an important decision.
It really is a point.
Let me tell you something right now.
These, these are the best online beddie category at a good house keeping.
35,000 five star reviews, half a million happy sleeping customers and counting.
It's a lot of people.
Their mission, five star hotel quality sheets, affordable and easy to order.
Luxury sheets without the luxury markups.
Most beddings, 300% markup.
It's like, man, when you bought a leather coat
and Manhattan back in the day,
be like 75% off.
You go in $3,000.
What?
It's because they started it off in fucking 10 rounds.
It was such a personally specific memory.
Oh, we all used to go buy leather jackets and Manhattan.
Well, back in the day, I guess you're
aging me, which is not good to do. Yeah. Sorry. Um, but, uh, yeah, leather sheets. They
do have other sheets. Brooklyn and so's leather sheet. No, not Brooklyn. What are you
stubborn? No, no rubber sheets. Listen, let's just stay in the, let's stay in the lane,
disabled kids. Let's stay in the lane. Let's stay in the lane. I love you that in the middle of it.
I love these sheets.
Brooklyn and sheets are the best sheets most comfortable sheets.
I've ever slept on in my life.
I sleep on them.
Tonight I'm going back to sleep on them.
It's a great gift too.
If you're ever thinking about getting somebody a fucking gift out of the box, say to get
them some stupid thing.
You got a brick stones or fucking the mall.
Just get them a pair of sheets for their bed.
What's your bed size?
Queen, Bing, Sanatum.
They'll be like, oh, these, what the fuck?
And then they put them on, they're like,
this is a great gift.
I've gotten them for gifts from my friends.
And they come for, they're comfort,
they're comfort is supposed to be the best
comforter on the market.
It's the best comfortabrücklandin.com
is giving an exclusive offer to my listeners.
Get this 10% off your first order and free shipping.
When you use promo
code, what dude? It's a, my having a stroke. No, it's Chris from Brooklyn and asking us
how we're doing. Chris from he's a support. Hey, what's up, Chris? How you doing? Tom and
Chris, what dude? What dude? What dude?com? Can you not fuck up? We're right at the end,
yes, son of a bitch, Mike. Brooklyn.com doing it. You're not doing it. You're not doing it. You're not doing it.
You're not doing it.
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You're not doing it.
You're not doing it. You're not doing it. You're not doing it. You're not doing it. You're not doing it. There's nothing wrong with looking like. I forgot that four people in this room look like.
Yeah.
I just slow your roll.
Okay.
Skinny.
Um, Brooklyn is so confident in their product.
Their sheets come to, uh, comforters and towels.
They all come with a lifetime warranty.
The only way to get to 10% is if you, uh, your first order and free shipping is to use
promo code what dude at Brooklyn and dot com Brooklyn and dot com promo code what dude
get yourself a pair today.
Also back in the mix, which I love because I shave my whole face is Harry.
Harry's, uh, I love it because they send it to your house.
It comes in a cool little case and they have
a cool little handle. I like all that stuff. It's smooth, comfortable. It glides right
over your head. It has 10 million people who have tried Harry's, okay? I've tried them.
I love them. Harry's.com slash Robert. That's the offer. Go there. Harries dot com slash off. It's, it's shaving.
They have so much more harries. The harries founder were tired of paying up the, I mean, I get
Gillette, so like that. It's like 40 something bucks now for raises. That's insane. It's crazy.
For a Gillette, I know Gillette's good too. I'm not going to sit on trash. Gillette, but it's crazy.
Well, they're the anti rape razor now too. I know Gillette's good too. I'm not going to sit on trash Gillette, but it's crazy. Well, they're the anti-rape razor now too. I can you not use trigger words? They
chose to label themselves. I know, but can you not? I mean, can you just, what's Harry's stance?
Listen, shut up, bullies. They knew a great shave doesn't come from gimmicks like vibrating heads here at lex balls and
Shut up and looks looks like a spaceship listen shut up the tactics that leading brands use raised prices for decades
They do they make all this crazy stuff. You know what you just shave. I shave my whole head and all I do is use a simple razor
I use Harry's dude to call it the same thing the whole thing at the same time. I don is use a simple razor. I use Harry's. Did we call it the same thing?
I do the whole thing at the same time. I don't use, I use the, uh, little cream they have
here. That's it. Okay. Harry's bought a world-class blade factory in Germany. So you know,
it's good. That's been making quality blitz for 95 years. Anything that's been doing something
for 95 years. Anything that's been doing something for 95 years. In Germany. In Germany. So they made it through the rough page.
They've received over 2,000 five stuff.
20,000 five star review. That's crazy.
Trust pilot and on trust pilot and Google Harries replacement cartridges are just $2.5
price to let fusion pro, uh, pro shield. Oh, Jesus. Hey, nice jacket.
Is that one of the ones you bought back in the day?
Huh? What'd you say?
There's a cousin. Real leather.
It's me not a when your cousin.
Cal. Oh, Cal. Why would you not say that joke? Say loud and proud.
Because I like to, you know, what? I like when would you not say that joke? Say it loud and proud.
Cause I like to, you know, what I like when I do some like people to think, you know, you do something clever.
Yeah.
You do something.
He goes a to see not he doesn't include B.
No, it's not he is.
Mr. Vos.
Mr. Vos, I just saw him in rare form, smoothing with Jimmy Fallon.
And that was fun.
No, I said something to him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, because I know.
Let me just get through this read. I'm so sorry.
We should do these.
Listen to me before everybody comes up.
If we have to read, let me do it before everybody comes up.
It's a company that was in the reach.
You got to really, I don't want to cut it.
All right.
You will again if you shut up. I need new razors. All right shut up great. You should go to Harry's yeah get
There's not Harry's Harry's Harry's Harry's are you both morons?
Get a 13 dollar of the value trial set that comes with everything you need for a close and comfortable shave
weighted
I'm gonna go to bathroom. I do this. Ergon, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
What are you doing?
Please.
I'm going to be done in 15 minutes.
Ergon, I'm going to handle five blade razor with lubrication strips and trimmer blade,
rich, lathering shave gel, travel blade cover.
I have this at my house, this is exact one.
It's awesome.
Take on the road with you.
Listeners of my show can redeem their trial, said at harry's.com slash Robert. Make sure you go to
harry's.com slash Robert, get some of these razors. I use them. I take them on the road. My wife
actually steals them from me. They ship them to your house. It's unbelievable. Okay.
Harry's. That's Robert.
They're about me has nothing about their stance on the me two movement.
What's that?
They're about me has nothing about their stance on the me two.
That's true.
They have, they have no social justice.
If you omit, you're part of the product.
I know it's an elderly gay black couple.
It's a father and son more white face.
That's a father and some of the white, a black father and son and the same room. I don't know.
What's more likely that it's an elderly.
You get off the phone.
My fan of that.
He stops rolling still around giving them fuel for fire.
I mean, gee, what are you doing?
Looks exactly like me.
You're looking hot in here.
I know.
Is the window open?
Open the window.
We had to take the AC out because of the building that
affixed the building on the outside.
But take a jacket if you bring a leather.
A leather?
All right.
I'd be saying like leather, Tuscadero.
What did you have?
Shut up.
We got it the first time.
Did you ask her about her lesbian moment last night?
Me?
Oh, yeah, I was playing a lesbian.
So what are we supposed to talk about the movie right now?
No.
I'm just, I was there.
I was there.
Nick was there.
I was there.
What? What was in a real lesbian? I was in a real cool cool and a director, but it wasn't a real let was you know,
fit a whole director out.
What a little cat.
You have a guy fishing vest.
You're doing a lot of a lot of this posture, you know, really?
Yeah, really working with her artists.
Yeah.
Yeah, getting the most out of people.
How high is it to get a fucking lesbian scene out of her?
I don't know.
Get a vagina put it in front of her.
I'm not a lesbian.
Tell her it's a vegan vagina.
She's in.
Well, it's gonna be a long podcast.
Yeah, I was I was whipping.
I was good at the front.
I was so well, so what happened?
You guys start.
I have direct girlfriend.
Did you have that? Yeah, no, that she looked exactly like start. Directed off. Did you have that?
Yeah, no, that she looked exactly like that.
That's great.
Oh, I.
There's another way.
Rich comes if she wears that into that cup.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
How was it?
That was great. Now, would you make out? No.
You kiss. Uh, what's your name? Oh, I did. That was a different day though.
You made up with a girl. Yeah, I made up with how? Ali. How do you?
Brand?
Vinnie's daughter. Yeah. Are you dead? How are you didn't tell me that? Yeah.
Why did you tell me that? Why didn't you tell me that? Why?
Why didn't you tell me that? How was it? It was fine.
How was she? Good kisser. She's a good kisser. Really? Yeah. Sure. Did she say you were a good kisser?
I hope so. What did she say? What do you do? I can't. She said, I bad breath. Is that okay? And I
said, sure. You said sure. Did you say, wait, she said, I bad breath. Yeah. But if that was a man,
that story would come out 30 years from now
and talk about how troubled your career has been since.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Just go.
What?
None of this is funny.
You brought it up.
Yeah.
It was funny.
Sorry.
The Bonnie's movie isn't funny.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry about Bonnie. I don't care.
I got his back.
It was really, it was wife under a bus.
She's got a laugh.
Oh, huh.
Well, I don't sure, gosh.
No headphones.
I, um, it's been a fucked up week, man.
Why? Yeah. I think I have some. The shooting a fucked up week, man. Why?
Yeah.
I think I have some.
The shooting.
Is it getting to you?
No.
No, the shooting.
Because you had to learn what New Zealand was.
I know.
First of all, Dick had once with warriors was one of my favorite movies of all time.
I had movie once with warriors.
I don't know.
It's weird because I've seen a lot of movies.
Every movie you've ever named to me.
I've never heard of.
Once warriors is the forest gump of New Zealand,
knowledge, violent, violent.
I'm saying popularity wise.
Oh yeah, because it's probably one of the only main movies
out of there.
See the sun, see the kid with all the stuff in his face,
the tribal tattoos.
Yeah.
Okay, so one of my favorite movies of all time,
was this movie, good movie, unbelievable movie movie so now I'm down in the comedy seller
Do Friday and Saturday night years ago, maybe 10 years ago. Yeah, I have to come down here
I jump in one of those rickshaws. I'm in the rickshaw with my friend coming down to do a set
I
Go do you look like the guy in once with warriors?
He goes it's me mate.
No, it was him.
I'm not fucking kidding you.
He came here to act.
He's strong.
Hang on.
I wasn't fat back then.
You fat.
Did he have all the tattoos on his face?
That's a movie.
Okay, but I'm asked.
No, no, no, he became here to act and you know,
this stuff you could do. Well, that whatever.
This is Moana three.
Yeah.
The stage version.
I can't horrible.
No, wait, stop you.
It's not horrible.
This is why I love life.
He's he's pulling the Rickshaw.
I go, what I take him to men and a tavern.
I go, dude, I got to buy you a drink.
Yeah.
He gets out of his Rickshaw.
We go in a minute.
I buy him a beer.
We're talking. He's telling me all about the movie. He goes, look, movies gotta buy you a drink. Yeah. He gets out of his rickshaw. We go in a minute, I buy him a beer. We're talking, he's telling me all about the movie.
He goes, look, movies are different in New Zealand.
It's not like you're a star.
If there's a thing you have to pick up, you pick it up,
you put a light thing over there.
Everybody's helping everybody.
It's not the way it is here.
They don't have unions.
No, well, I think they have unions,
but it's just like, it's so hard to buy.
It was very low budget.
It was a low budget, but it was a huge movie.
Yeah, I know. Huge movie. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I's so much. It was very low budget. It was a low budget, but it was a huge move.
Yes, I know.
A huge movie.
And I'm like, what are you doing?
He's like, I'm here to do film.
I'm here to be in the business.
I'm like, that's great.
I'm like, in my head, I'm like, all right, whatever.
He's driving a Rick shot, right?
That's fucking weird.
But he's like, yeah, I'm just going to fucking do it.
Well, hang out.
I'm fine.
I'm like, that's great.
Was it a year later, Matrix?
Starring a matrix. He was starring in it. Yeah, he was in the fucking matrix. Get out. later, Matrix, starring in Matrix.
He was starring in it?
Yeah, he was in the fucking Matrix.
Get out.
Oh, he's the old dude.
No, he was in it too.
But he's the old.
Both of the son, the old guy in the Matrix was the father
and once were warriors and the young guy in the Matrix
was the son and once were working Matrix too.
Matrix.
Two.
The hot guy who dies? Show me cast of Matrix one, please. Cast watch Matrix 2. Matrix 2. The Hawkeye who dies.
Show me cast of Matrix 1, please cast of Matrix 1.
No, because all those Maori people were in the second movie.
I didn't see either.
Just go to cast the one with the rave that go G.
Rave Matrix 1.
Marcus.
As it is a 1990, almost 20 years ago, that fucking movie.
I can't see any of that shit
Is that him right there? Matrix one right there. That's him Julian. Oh, that's a black dude That's will Smith commercial you fucking moron Julian. There's no need there's no need for a huh
I'm sorry. I apologize to tear me down to build yourself up. I wasn't building myself up
I was just tearing you down. Oh, okay. I can
do with that. Yeah. That's him. He was in the Matrix Matrix fucking crazy. Don't sense
go to his IMDB. Oh my God. You're a terrible person. Is that what I'm wondering if he's
done a lot of movie? No, you're not. You wonder if he's no, I'm not. No, I'm not. Look
at all the movies go scroll up. Do you think that caught him off guard for you to recognize
him and make a big deal out of it?
Since I'm just like, dude, he just was like, yeah, man, it's me.
I'm like, you're, I go do this.
One of my favorite goes, Oh, it's great movie.
Thanks. Appreciate it, man.
I go, can I buy you a bagel?
She has short pull right over.
Nice.
Broken.
Nice.
The sky ever.
He did hercules.
Lost world.
Well, it's just funny that dude from Cosby got absolutely crucified for having just a normal job
in between gigs and shit.
And then this guy is, you know, he just saw that.
That's nothing.
Gigs was 15 years.
Because as far as we know, yeah, but we still flip out of a tits at the beach.
Oh, this guy.
Yeah, this guy.
Okay.
We still, we see a pair of boobs at a beach.
You're like, this is what you do.
No, it is weird.
Yeah.
Other countries don't give a fuck about half the shit we care.
It does take a special paratits on TV to break through though like that one woman for the kids true detective season one
Yeah, but look what happens. They have one mass shooting and they got a past laws about it. You know, they freak out
What's that?
They can't they lose 50 people and they got a band guns
Did you watch the video of what you guys shooting up all those people of course?
How many times does that you said I won a clip of it? I didn't really. It's white pissing me off is a and then the next day in the news they call it terrorism when
it's really white supremacy. It's so fucking don't try to fucking sugar code it with terrorism
because then people are going to think it's Arabs on Arabs when it was a white supremacist.
I did it. The reason why they don't know is because his manifesto was so confusing.
It was left, right center.
He had so many different viewpoints in the attraction, both sides, trash in everybody.
So they don't know what the fuck he was.
He don't know if he was trolling people in the, he was making a lot of nods to like
I stopped.
I was just follow PewDiePie or some shit like that.
He was like, I stopped. I stopped. All that stuff. I just listen to some PewDiePie or some shit like that. He was like, I stopped.
I stopped.
I stopped.
I just listened to some New York Times thing halfway.
So I have, you know, two sentences.
I know.
I did a day after the headlines.
I stopped with it because I can't deal with anymore.
I watched the full shooting and it's weird that your brain or my brain immediately jumped
to being able to process it through like Call of Duty or something like that.
I was like, oh, you know, it looked like a movie. I walked
off of a friend of mine said it to me. I was in my shed when I think just right after
it happened. Some shit. My friend checked this out. It's crazy. And I shut up. No, I was
asking you a question. Go on. It doesn't matter. I apologize. I apologize for cutting you
off. I'm sorry. I apologize. It doesn't matter. I don't remember what I was going to say.
Radio goat.
No, because he's coming in.
Yeah.
Fucked up.
Well, he's just coming from the real business.
No, when he comes in to go a podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
His brain is still on the show.
I should have stayed down here.
Yeah.
Fucking Jimmy.
No.
No, you shouldn't know.
No, I shouldn't have.
He left. Yeah, but you. Anyways, no, you shouldn't know. No, I shouldn't have. He left. Yeah, but you
Anyways, yeah, I saw it. I thought it was like a movie. It looked like a fucking movie. Why would you watch that? I didn't know what I was watching. Somebody who's like,
dude, you watch this and then I'm watching it. And I all of a sudden this guy's talking
some shit in a car. And I'm like, well, okay. And then he's killing people. Is this
is this fake? Is this? And then he, I mean, dude, he, when he got into the car, he went back in and you're watching
this like, what the fuck? And then he gets in the car. And it's like a soundtrack. It's
like, Faya. But, but, but, and he goes, he went up. Did he go to a second mosque? Yeah.
Yeah. And then when they said there was like three people involved, what were the other
two doing? I don't know about that. The police just to arrest like anybody. Yeah.
That's invoved. Yeah. Well, something like that's going on. I don't think anyone else
was charged on somebody. One of the mosques took his empty gun and like smashed his car
window. And that's why he drove away and didn't get more guns to go back in and kill more
people. I think that was at the second mosque. There's somebody had a gun. Yeah. Somebody
had a gun of the second mosque. Yeah, that's the guy.
Yeah.
So he picked up one of the empty guns that that guy had,
or it was his own, any ran,
and he like tried to like,
spear it through the, through the passenger side window,
and then the guy drove away,
and then he got picked up like a mile and a half away from that.
That shit was crazy, man.
Yeah.
Fucking crazy.
But if they had guns at the mosque,
or somebody had a gun at the mosque,
maybe they, you never know.
Yeah, but, you know, because people like gun control, but it's like, what if there was two fucking
dudes with guns at the front of the mosque and this guy pulled up and they just took
them out?
One of my favorite videos on YouTube is when somebody comes in with a gun and they're
like, whoa, whoa, whoa, and they just take a gun off.
And then they call the cops.
That's what my favorite videos on YouTube.
But that guy looked like really capable.
So I assume he would have those out and both of those guys pretty quickly.
How would I go?
Are you really?
How many times are you watching?
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
I'm just getting a bit on.
How do you do that?
Wow.
What are you doing?
Good.
That was fucking great.
As sound effect ever.
I do like.
I like that noise. Yeah. that noise. Whatever that signly is.
I zero dark 30 shit. Yeah, zero dark 30 was a great movie. It's not fuck you. When she
writes on the wall, fuck 100 days slams on it. And they go in. They fucking kill Obama.
Fuck you. I mean, sorry. I truly feel like skim. That would be a fuck you. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. My true feelings keep on.
That would be a cool movie.
I know.
As they sell it as a true story in the last 20 minutes, they're just killing Barack.
Like what?
You know,
what the fuck?
You didn't like that?
Is this moving?
No, not really.
Why?
I thought it was stupid.
It was boring.
What was stupid about it?
It was just stupid and boring. It was a boring movie. It was the re it's really what happened. Is it though?
I mean, like, yeah, I mean, how do you know? It because I had to make a move. How am I
believing you? You just tell me you just listen to a half article and you're spouting
up facts. I can't fucking know how podcasting is. The order of C's bill opens up with like,
you know, funny out of fucking people with hats. Then like torturing that guy. And, you know, I can't remember how much
of their intelligence information relies
on them torturing people, but it's like,
we pretty much all decided the torturing's bad.
There's no reason to glorify it in a movie.
So, I mean, you know, maybe that is the,
I don't know, I don't, I don't recall exactly
how much of that movie was like,
you know what?
I mean, in front of torture. I could see it.
I did radio with a guy that shot him.
You know, but it was it was a whole team effort, you know,
but that one guy capitalized on it wrote a book, you know,
he was on a fucking press tour.
That's apparently like an internal military thing.
Like when I went overseas, they were like, oh yeah, make fun of the fact that the seals are constantly making like, you know, developing
gym equipment or writing their own books or whatever. Everybody else is supposed to keep
shit kind of under wraps and like a team effort. So we all accomplished this thing. And then
that guy was like, and it was me. But is there another level above the seals? I'm sure
something else. Yes. The the Rangers? Now, somebody
the rangers are the toughest.
Because their seal team six, which is like the best of the seals.
And then seals is just like a there's, I don't know, the bright terminology for it.
But there's, there's people that can become seals. And then seal team six is like the top
tier secret operatino. Those are the guys that go kill Obama
or Osama. Ah, well, you did it. Now, enjoy.
Don't blame me. It's a tricky name. It is. I took a hot one, but you get it. Cause
like there's army Rangers and army special forces, but then there's also Delta force,
which is like the army equivalent of seal team Team 6. And then after SEAL Team 6 you're sorry.
But then there's gotta be people we don't know about.
The CIA has their own like special activities group
that they draw from those other groups.
And there's like individual ghosts,
aren't they?
Like they go into systems and kind of like operate personally
and then-
No, I mean, you guys not wanna laugh to that.
She said the Avengers and nobody laughed.
That's funny.
Pretty funny.
I mean, the Avengers and nobody laughed except the motion.
No, the coolest of all of them is the French foreign Legion.
Fuck you.
No, that Jean Claude Van Jam.
Jean Claude Van Dam, yeah.
We need to thank you.
We need to thank you.
You're the best.
We love that.
We need to do that.
We love that. What do you think?
Intelligence, I guess what would you call them? Intelligence agencies, agency in the
world. Do you think they take America's better than the trust and safety team that were
probably the trust and safety team in Facebook? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would think that where fucking the 10 times better and more secret and have more badass
guys than anybody else.
Well, I turn it like bad shit and fucking with the world, the CIA's probably done a lot
more than the massage.
Yeah, like shit.
We don't even know about we know about the Navy sales.
We know about Delta for we know about black Hawk down all those guys.
Yeah, the stuff we do know about is like pretty bad.
Pretty crazy.
Yeah.
Imagine the shit we don't know about the amount of people that have died in Latin
America because the CIA like couldn't decide what to do with Latin America for like
60 years.
It's, yeah, it's, it's insane.
Like there's probably like, like a quarter million people that died in
Guatemala because, you know, we just wanted to make sure they had like a very specific type of government.
Well, didn't they actually put the bad guys in government just to squel the whole thing that was going on down there because of the guerrillas and the, the, the, the, yeah, I was, I was, I was, I was curious about that word as well. Looking up, Squel. Good, look it up. Is it a mixture of Quel and something else?
No, it's Squel.
Look it up.
Yeah, I can only.
I just gotta be confident, Voss.
Hope you're fucking dude on the computer as you're back.
I'm, yeah, definition right there.
Because to a Squel.
Lally when she worked, she squeled.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
To put out things in Guatemala in a soft loud version.
No, in Guatemala in the 1940s and 50s had like sort of a leftist leaning government, but they
weren't like outright communist by any means. But the CIA was all worried that all of these Latin
American countries were developing ties to the Soviet Union, which wasn't ever really proved. So they like backed all these coups that were, you know, huge failures that
installed these right-wing governments that just gave money to, or like took all the land,
seized it back from, you know, peasants or workers or whatever and gave it to, you know, rich people
elites. And then like the United States, like banana companies,
basically, you do a thesis project on this.
No, no, no, it's just like, I love it.
I love that.
He's right.
The bananas.
We get all most of our bananas from fucking Guatemala and coffee.
Is that true?
No, the coffee part wasn't.
And the banana.
And Guatemalan's.
Yeah.
I'm actually going back there again. No, the coffee pot wasn't. And the water. And Guatemalan's. And Guatemalan's.
Yeah.
I'm actually going back there again.
Oh, Guatemalan.
Are you being there?
I'm in the twice.
For what?
Just to go.
Vacation.
Yeah.
Vacation.
Just to I just went there twice just to go with your family.
No, no, no, with a friend of mine.
Are you doing ayahuasca?
No, just went.
Checked out a couple islands.
Can you hide a little some lakes checked out the countryside?
To me to two can to the one to Michigan.
Right?
What they're cool.
What to mention.
I would do that.
Me to two can.
No, but we've I found a relics.
I found relics.
I found a
take you a fucking
of your
up for getting out.
If you don't have it.
Thanks.
The job of somebody that works at the hotel to sprinkle
relics all over the
forest.
No, I found
yeah,
yeah, from the souvenir store,
there's still a price tag on them.
Do you mean I hadn't relished?
No, I
know what?
I'm waiting for that.
Listen,
it's
I found
obsidian knife.
Uh, I found a, found a piece of a potted
pot from probably a thousand years ago. I swear to you, I'm Michael. I'm not kidding.
But what part of your age training went into that? Yeah. I'm serious. If you Guatemala
city, he smelled that piece of the pot. No, what was cooked in it. Guatemala City. Guatemala City has ruins underneath it.
It has ruins.
You're just stealing artifacts from national parks.
I just, I just, I just, I was actually, uh, all the stuff that should be in a museum
is now.
It's not a full cleaning pond.
It's out of the people.
I didn't find a live pod.
I didn't find a Jaguar head.
I found a, I found a, a little piece of a pot from a thousand years ago.
Unobtainium.
It's, uh, and I found, uh, yeah, all this shit right here
is under Guatemala City.
He was, uh, that's all the shit.
Did you think this was Mayo City when you went there?
Did you think it was a city made out of mayonnaise?
We got the joke.
We just didn't laugh.
That's how we're, but I'm laughing at it.
Well, you know, you know, I'm not the joke. We just didn't laugh. That's how we're- I'm laughing at it. But you know what I mean?
You don't have to believe that.
I'm not a hope.
I'm still laughing at you visiting
as city made out of mayonnaise.
Yeah.
You go from there to the-
From there did you go to the Miracle?
Whoop, shittin' it.
He tried, he had a ruin it.
No, hold on.
Now I'm laughing at that.
I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying?
Fuck you. Fuck oh fuck yourself. And that. You know what? Fuck you.
Fuck oh fuck yourself.
And you fuck off to both of you.
Okay, get it right.
Fuckin' just laughin' shit.
Cock suckers.
I didn't laugh at him.
Fuck you and fuck you.
Hey, there's no need to talk that way.
Where you just said?
You're just gonna shut up.
Legitimate your question.
Fuck both of you.
Okay, whether you went to the American Whip City or not.
Is that?
Huh? You're find any artifacts here?
Is it an antique whip?
Ah, fuck off.
I found the Whip City.
I found the Whip City.
Wait a second.
2000 years ago.
Hang on, Mike has run.
What'd you say?
How big was the knife?
I had a real question.
I thought I was talking about it.
My quits to kill himself.
Ah, fuck off, please.
I had a bad idea.
I think you were sitting in my arm.
Fuck both of these.
Now, fuck it. I want to fucking have to eat dumb story. You don't want to break quite a bad feeling. I think you're losing my arm. Oh fuck both of these.
Now I'm fucking happy at dumb story.
You're the one who brought quite a mile up,
you're a fucking nerd.
Oh yeah, so it was worth anything to stuff you found.
Was it?
No, why not?
Cause I got food poisoning from licking the bowl.
Oh, too.
All right, there's one of these shows. I'll get it. No, no, you got me.
Oh, wait.
You're out of my fucking book.
I didn't try to see if it's worth it.
I mean, if you found a knife, I had full poisoning.
Yeah.
And I was at the airport and I was shitting out of, shitting and throwing up.
Yeah.
And then I was, I had it in my pocket,
and I, I customed guys walked in, and I panicked.
And I thought I was gonna get arrested, and I was so scared,
and I was sick.
So I wrapped it in toilet paper, and I threw it in the garbage.
But there was no garbage, the guy just emptied it.
So when it fucking landed, it made like a big
clang sound. I wasn't big, you know, and I fucking, but no, I threw it away because I didn't
want. I shouldn't have took it. Why you found it? It's your finders keepers. No, you can't
take it. Listen, you can't official love. It's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not
like a full pot. It's not, it was just a piece of a pot and it was obsidian.
That's how they made knives back then was lava rocks. That's how they would cut fruit and cut
shit up. But if you found it and do you find it on the park and downtown Guadalmala, you can go
to that they're actually excavating the whole park. So there's like a you it's just a regular park
that you walk around and then down the end, they dug it up and there's a pyramid in all
the bullshit underneath the park. So if they dug up the whole park, there'd be just a
puck elliptos shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. So, oh, isn't there a place as you
can go on these vacations and they give you like a little shovel and say go and you get
to keep that too. No, that's a new carolina. I did that. Yeah, that's what I got. For sure. Most of the time.
No, Carolina, they gave they you what you get. I really am a sucker. Some old taffy. No,
Bobby just went to the rain for us. He can't log. I went to Guatemala.
When you find in North Carolina, they went. I went to, uh, you can go.
A finger from a Robert E. Lee statue.
I was wordy.
Yeah.
Even Nick would nickel be with you though.
He'll figure sure Robert E. Lee, a famous historical figure.
Did a lot of things in his life.
I think it goes to the man talk about him.
I'll save you with his weirdness.
Fucking creep. I, uh, no, North, I think it goes to the man talk about him. I'll save you with his weirdness. I know North, I think it's North Carolina. You can go out in the woods and there's these
mining places that they for a hundred bucks, you can get a shovel. You should really
start doing fake reads to the rainforest cafe. And they do. That would be a hilarious
bit. You throw a bucket in. What does it call when you're the same?
The place is great.
There's a gorilla that gets mad every hour.
And you got a fake rain storm.
I thought it was real.
And they have personally, I thought it was real.
You're panning?
When you're panning?
Is it panning?
Yeah.
No, it's sleuthing.
It's called sleuthing.
Was it like a defining stick?
It's sleuthing.
It's water coming down. No, and you get you can buy a bucket of dirt.
Yeah.
And you find like a ruby and then you find like a, you find out
that it's an emerald like a buster scruggs, right?
That the Cohen movie, he's the goal.
But you're you're finding all these, that was Tom like rocks.
But then I went to the place the next day and I was like,
don't honey, we get to buy a, we get to buy a shovel.
And me and my wife on the woods and we got to dig
for like three hours.
We found nothing.
If I went to the woods and then, and then the next day
we went to another place and the guy was a gay man.
No, we, we buy all these rocks and put them in the dirt, dude.
I'm like, wait a minute, you don't, he goes, no, these are from here.
You can't, you can't, we just, this is just, you know, I was like, wait a minute. You don't think it goes, no, he's not from here. You can't, you can't. We just, this is just, you know, I was like, what? I go, I dug for three hours.
He goes, yeah, yeah. They didn't deliver his letter to Santa. But now your marriage is stronger.
But I had, I had a, I had a fucking thing of beautiful rocks. This big purple blue
reds. Like, but there's a person sitting there, just fucking with you.
Well, that's a Ruby.
What?
I found a Ruby?
Yeah, it's a Ruby.
Can I Ruby?
You're really thinking to hit like a fucking lottery.
Do you wanna find like a fucking fat Ruby and nothing?
Well, they say they found me at Diggs together.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
So, let's pick this up, you guys.
Buddy, it's not, I'm trying to. I'm giving you, I'm out there. You guys. Buddy, it's not I'm trying to.
I'm giving you I'm I'm out there.
You guys I think it's probably pretty good.
We talked about Guatemala.
Robert Lee.
Yeah.
I mean, I what else can we talk about?
Dude, what what is wrong with you?
I'm tired.
Didn't go.
No, I love it here.
Leave.
This is my favorite.
I can leave.
This is my favorite.
Yeah, but you're not going to come on here and blame us for you
Steering at me like a zombie. Okay, you're right. He's throwing shit out. He's throwing shit out
Gabby's laughing at everything Nick says. Yeah, we talked about the shooting
Yeah, what don't attack Gabby, huh don't attack her fuck off. Okay. What else bad happened this week?
You said it was a rough week this podcast
Hey, it could turn around, man.
I don't know.
I've never known.
No, no, you're fucking weirdness today.
I'm acting normal.
Yeah, I know.
You're weirdness.
I don't think anything else happened bad this week.
Oh, yeah, I didn't tell anybody this.
I'm not going to come on. You know you I didn't tell anybody this. I'm not gonna tell you.
Come on.
You know you're gonna tell.
No, I'm not.
I'm absolutely not gonna tell you.
Personal business.
Your son's a fan of M&M.
That's exciting.
I don't know how that happened.
It's cool.
I like the fact that he was sending him direct story messages
on Instagram.
I don't know how that happened.
My kid's at M&m's grooming your son
No, Mike tells him like someone that's happened. Tell them how to kill himself. Yeah
That's the moment. I'm gonna fucking knock somebody out. I'll fight someone. I will should fight M&M if you
We're about fucking hit somebody with a dog. I got your back. I know you know, you're gonna be in there too
Um, no, I think he like I don't know how he likes it.
I think he's like music.
But I, uh, I fucked up my, uh, I'll tell you, ready?
Yeah.
I got a new truck.
Did a new one smashed it.
No, you did.
And yeah,
bad.
And to what, I think it's cool.
I'm fucking sure you're, you're a idiot. No, I think that's cool. I think that's cool.
Yeah, you do. I course you do because you're a fucking
more and with no responsibility.
You're a fucking child or anything else in your life.
You never have a child. Of course you as I do, I'm killing it.
Of course you are. I'm going to kill it with my charm.
Do you have truck level for Patreon?
I'm going to get a million dollars on having a baby and killing it.
That's exactly what I did to my truck.
No, you did not that bad.
Not that bad, but it's a lot of damage, dude.
I mean, and here's a problem with this truck.
Thank God you're in air, Berg.
I feel like people don't die in car accidents.
I mean, I gave it all it needed, the air.
I didn't suck anything. I waited. I just nicked it needed, the air, I didn't say anything, I waited.
It just nicked and I think it didn't
wrap everybody with it.
I heard airbag.
I didn't hear anything else.
But wait a second, you didn't total it, did you?
They didn't total it.
It's too much money.
It's too much money.
It's a Ford Ranger in 2019.
It hasn't been made since 2008, I believe, or 2011 stopped making the truck. I love that the first year they made it
Since they stalely made it in Europe or fuck it. It's just a pickup version of the Explorer, right?
No, no, it's probably more of a pickup version of the edge the interior is same as my car
Except it's a small family truck five foot bed. It's got all the features.
It's the shiver manual.
Huh?
Do you have a manual?
No, fuck that.
I used to have a car's computer manual.
What?
You're on fire.
Ranging.
He said, he said, he said, he said, what the man?
Yeah.
You fucking, he said, he'll come with a man.
I know he did.
It's him.
It's him.
He meant the book.
Yes.
He's a glove box.
Oh, no, I know. A lot of Moll It's him. It's him. It meant the book. Yes. In the glove box. Oh, no, I know.
Adam Allen. Yeah.
That's a good response. We use referring to the book in the glove box.
I think another car. What? You hit another car. No. I didn't. That's the worst part.
Not for the other. I hit my kid. No.
Max is gone. I know. We're trying to get a loose tooth. I was just trying to.
I was coming out of a fucking, you know, the parking lots with the, they have those fucking,
you know, cement and a fucking light pole and a big. And those, most of the times there's a lid up
and the poles are a different color and have a striped shirt.
This is a black pole cement, which is always a black one.
If it's going to be a type of pole that causes this.
It's true. Yeah. So black pole and the cement around the bottom was the same color as like the pavement.
So it literally fades into the tree like there's a tree's. So as you're driving, you can't see these fucking poles.
It's almost like an optical illusion.
And I've always fucking sweared around
in whatever you kind of be aware of them,
but I was coming out one night
and I just somebody was coming this way,
kind of this drunk person was in a car doing weird shit.
So I just looked that way for two seconds.
Funk slammed into it. Was you were you able to drive the car home from there? Couldn't drive it. So it's that fucking show. How it's a parking lot? Yeah, it was.
With the the bumper, this thing, I just tidied it like probably 10 miles an hour. Airbags
didn't go off. So I didn't it didn't it wasn't wasn't like a, I was flying, but it just crumpled inside. It hit the left side of the car and took out
the, and pushed this shit into the tire. So I couldn't, I couldn't, and it's steel.
That bumper, that front bumper is made of steel. It's not plastic or anything. So it's
all steel. So you can't just pull it out, couldn't just pull it out of the get I want to pop the tire.
A fucking guy.
Oh last the other day open his car door into mine.
I got a little ding and I was pissed off a little day.
I could imagine you must have been mad.
I sat my car for an hour and a half and shocked.
Just people were walking up.
Hey, do you want I go leave me alone?
I just sat there like this.
It's happening in New York City?
No, it's not here.
It's out of town at a four dealership,
three and a half hours away.
But don't fix it.
They can't fix it.
Here's a problem with it.
They didn't make it last year.
So when they even try to do the adjustment on the insurance
they like, they just go back to the year before.
How much is that cost?
We don't know.
Yeah.
It hasn't been made since 2008.
It's a perfect crime. Yeah. Ask them for a million dollars.
It's they have to prove in court that it's not worth a million dollars.
It's true. Because if they have no way of valuing the car, you can say to me,
it's worth a million dollars. Right? I think try it.
Try what? Just to man the certain amount of think try it. We try what?
Just to man the certain amount of money for it.
I can't do that. It goes from the insurance company to the dealership.
Well, you say listen, pal, I need the money.
Who are we going?
I go on, pal, listen, buddy.
Buddy, my son's dying.
My son, my son, the one thing he wants is to meet M&M.
And we got this truck to drive.
We brought this Detroit made truck to drive all the way there. Right. To meet Eminem. And we got this truck to drive. We brought this Detroit made truck,
the drive all the way there.
Right.
To meet his hero.
Yeah.
Well, I don't understand.
So what's going to happen is the insurance company
are you going to cover it?
You just saying try it.
You know, you don't know.
Is the insurance company going to cover the damage?
And they'll fix everything.
So then what do you worry about?
Because I can't get the parts because they don't exist.
They have a like, they made the car.
I know, but they're just starting to make them.
So it's not like, it's not like they just have them all over the fucking place.
Like a Ford F-150, they're fucking everywhere.
You can just get parts from another they have.
They're living room.
But parts.
They're everywhere. What? Nothing. Oh, he I'm living room, but parts everywhere.
What?
Nothing.
Go.
He's got the parts in his living room.
What does that mean?
He's got the other way.
I think Rich is intentionally trying to sink this show.
I know.
I know.
He wants off the night.
I know.
Can he's trying to take it down by its corner?
You'll be in Schmarme with funny.
You'll be in Leigh and Conti.
And you're just bombing.
Okay.
So I always come out strong.
I always pick it strong. I always pick
it up. You know that. I relax. And aside from the jokes, I do think there's merit to just
demanding a certain amount of money. I would, that's what I would do. I would say, would
you have an estimate? That's your job. No, they figured out the estimate. They figured it out.
I want to make it $2,000. No, they already figured it out.
It's a 11 grand over 11 grand.
Whoa.
Yeah.
How much was your car like 50?
55.
So you fucked up.
What was it so far?
That's great.
I got the top.
I got the ball.
I got my car with all the shit.
It's still in a truck truck.
It's a pick.
I wanted to pick up truck.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know. But you know, I'm gonna take you to a pick take the truck and it's got it's saying that that cost 55,000.
It's got it's got every I mean, the engine, the gas, the gas mileage is incredible on the
came with the engine. But the engine's amazing. It's a four cylinder turbo. It's it's a turbo.
So it's the one they put in the Mustang. So it's fast. Well, no, I have a turbo for cylinder and a BMW,
but it's not as big and heavy as a truck.
But that truck is not, it's not a big truck.
It's a big truck, but not if you saw it next to a real truck,
it's just I just, you know, one of those like those Shasta air flight
re-releases to go camping in put a trailer hitch on it and get one
of those Shasta,asta like I guess 18,
20 foot.
I'm waiting for Mike to pull it up.
That's all.
Okay.
You know what it has that?
Oh, fucking Becky.
Becky.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, she has a full win of Bego.
Yeah, she's so sick.
Oh, no, win of Bego's have the motor in.
I want to she.
I wanted to get you know what I wanted.
I wanted to buy.
I would.
You should get that.
He's a great. You're saying 15 feet to great
You don't want that to drag you want to when you put on
No good put up roof
These are I stayed one of these it was an Airbnb and it was great
Yeah, put up to one that you put at that.
I will not that it's a tent put up a mobile home on top of a car.
What RV on top of a truck?
I was going to get this tent right there.
No, in the middle, I was going to get that tent right there.
Can you drive from out there?
Is there a way to have it so that you can drive the car from the tent?
Yeah, you can if you put the there's an optional steering so that you can drive the car from the tent. Yeah, you can, if you put the, there's an optional steering
package that you, but I don't want to do that because it's,
it's actually $3,000.
That would be tight if I do say so much.
What is the weight distribution on that thing hanging off the car?
I treat it.
It's a thousand.
You find it really?
I got it.
I brought it back in my truck.
Yeah.
So that's great.
No, it folds down and like like a pancake is not even there.
No, and you just rip it open.
Get the bring up the RV.
So you put on the pickup truck.
What is it called?
I mean, he knew what his was called.
I know my.
I was.
I was.
RV on that pickup truck.
Yeah, we don't have to.
The first one.
The first one.
Those.
You put that. Why not? Because I got to I have to take it with me to the seller. It also looks like it's
Look how cool that is
Look how cool that is. Go to the inside of that.
Now my truck neutered and now it's.
If I'm in a maze, if I'm tired, I would.
That's what we're trying to do.
Somebody's draping my truck.
Go back.
Look at that.
It's like a house.
Shut up.
There's double your dreams.
That's my dream.
Go back.
That's what you want.
Oh, I would love to have a show.
I'm going.
You know, I'm going to his show. You sure as money Get a John Madden bus. Look at that. I would get
that. I would get one. But why would you drive that out?
Stay counts. John Madden. It's so hard to power a little park with that. These are cool.
And they're cool on the inside. It's like, you know, like a checkerboard floors and
shit. And they have a lot of ranger.
Sass RV, the middle one with the floor plan. Click on that.
Yeah, look at that. Look at all the room you have.
Boss.
Really nice.
But the problem with that is what you got to you can't it's hard to park with those.
Right.
To cut that in and parallel park.
But this is for this is a story.
To take this story like a national park.
You know, you go.
You go to Walmart.
Yeah, sure.
If you want to be, yeah, like the old.
What do I do?
I want to do that. Yeah. People do that. They go, what's anybody like
camp overnight in the show?
RVs there. Because the old people retire into their cars sometimes. And then
they just go around the country. Yeah, living in Walmart parking lot.
And how they stop again? How did they plug in to get electricity? Maybe
they have those in the world. I didn't know that. Is that your dream?
Not to roll more, but to get a small RV.
Throw my golf clubs in.
You wouldn't rather get the one you pull behind you.
No, no, because it's too hard to drive.
It gets windy.
It's all over the place.
I would rather have even a conversion van.
How do you know it gets when there's all over the place?
Because I've been behind them on a highway conversion vans are coming back to know that those are nice. They're like 80,000. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to conversion vans. Oh, they're fucking amazing. You see that. Look,
there's a lot of this GMC like Mark sevens. Yeah, back in the, like they mostly made for wheelchair
people. Or is it? No, the ones you can live in. People, yeah, they just want to hang out. What a van? They're going to open it.
Open it? No, I mean, they got a table.
They got a table in it and then a table for them.
Interior, right? Interior.
That was my second car.
You had that?
Look at that.
I'm your old one.
You remember my friend Norman in Austin?
Yeah, he is a conversion.
Look at that.
It's like a living room in there.
There's everything.
Let me see. Click on one of these maps. Oh, that is a conversion look at that. It's like a living room and there's everything. Let me see
Well, that is nice. Yeah, you're fucking great. I'm like 80 that'd be great if you had an improv group Yeah, and then you drove off a cliff
Yeah, yeah, the improv group and then you hook the exhaust stop to one of the
That would be cool Yeah, the improv group and then you hook the exhaust up to one of the thing.
That would be cool.
I remember when me and Dane and the two other guys had a group we bought a van.
And we were going to we were going to I brought off my uncle. We were going to make it into like this crazy gig van.
And it just died the week we got it.
My uncle made us take the hit.
Talks.
Shit family.
Yeah, that's why you don't want like, uh, you get like
something with the motor built in because then if it has like some catastrophic mechanical
problem, you just got to sell the whole fucking thing. Whereas if you have like, you know,
like one of those air flights or whatever, it's your truck breaks down, you got to sell
it, you get a new truck, you don't have to worry about any of that.
Yeah, I mean, if you're getting a new conversion van, it's probably going to be there's
no reason to get a new conversion.
I wouldn't get one of those.
What about those BMS, the VW ones that just came up, the new VW conversion van, pull that
up.
I'd get this now we're podcasts.
It's the remake of the old van, right?
There's the thing with the conversion van.
You can take that into New York and put it into parking garage.
Yeah.
If you have camper, red camper. You see what I'm saying? You can take it anywhere. I'm York and put it in a parking garage. Yeah. If you have a camper, right camper.
You see what I'm saying?
You can take it anywhere.
It's just a van.
It's just like, I'm not even thinking about it.
There it is.
If I'm at the point of my life, right, I have a camper.
I sit over there.
I'm not living in this.
There it is right there.
The middle one.
The middle one is just fucking.
That's it.
Is that it?
Is that it, Mike?
No, I said it differently.
I said it like yellow one.
Yeah, that's it. That's one like a sports in the top middle one. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's it.
That just came out. Oh, that's coming out this year. Oh, I get that. Did you click on it?
Oh, did you? Did you click on it?
In a bathroom? Is there a vacuum in there?
No, I'd get that in a second. That looks cool as shit.
that in a second, that looks cool as shit.
Yeah, look at all that shit.
You're living that.
What is this?
I would like what you're talking about. If I had a piece of microphone,
a microphone, you know,
not to keep it on and
sure,
friction and stuff.
And then if you had a leave, you know,
and I mean, and take it to another place.
I would have one of those and you keep it in your garage.
You don't fucking use it unless you're going to drive to, you know, again, like, yeah, yellow
stone or something, you drive it, you know, yeah, that would be fucking cool if you were going
camping somewhere. You know what that is, right? That you like that. I don't know what the inside
of just a bed, a living room. There's a bed. There's a bed up top. Look, it's got voltage.
See that's the inside. That whole thing pops up. I wonder what those are olds probably going to be about
50,000. No, there's way more than that around I think they're around 80. Yeah. So yeah, look at that.
Little fucking awning pops out. How great is that? Look at those old ones. Those old ones are fucking
rocking too. That green one is cool looking. Yeah, it's a lot of money for those that the one that's like a custom original though
Yeah, what's the one next to that go back and go through the one to the tan one real quick?
That one. That's crazy. Oh, that's perfect for what?
Because you could drink if you want to drive it anywhere
Yeah, the mobile hospice
You go inside the inside of that
You're a spy that'd be good
hospice. You go inside the inside of that. You're like, if you were spirited, be good.
It's like the inside of that, you could
etch fuck you like, great man. Look at the top comes up.
I'm getting one. I'm getting one. All right. My this thing
came on. It's all right. It's just sticking out and taxing
what I'm off mic now. Now you're on mic. Am I? Oh,
just plug your headphone in.
I don't know. Is he fucking breaking shit now?
Why don't we rent a thing?
Hey, Velcro.
Why don't we rent something to go camping?
Who?
I don't get a bunch of us.
What, what do you want to rent?
Yeah, I'm good.
Like a RV.
I'm back, everybody.
Oh, welcome.
But Shrenton RV and go camping.
There's no.
I'd rather just go camping. Why are we going to rent an RV?
It's just can't.
Why don't we have the same fun?
We'll get a big one.
We'll go to Neverland Ranch and take it back.
I'm going to go to the house.
And we already reviewing vans for better for health.
Are they for better for?
I'm going to spend five. better for health. Are they for better?
I spank.
Fifth or seventh?
What worst podcast ever?
Maybe seven. I think it's picking up.
It's picking up, dude. Yeah. Come on, man.
We just had a bunch of productive
van talk. I'm giving you a clean
segue into the Michael Jackson
documentary. Have you talked about it already?
I think we did.
Okay.
Well, never mind.
Back to dance.
No, we did talk about it.
I think we did last week.
Yes.
Black Mike.
Black Mike.
We talked about it a lot.
Keith Robinson's theory was that black Michael Jackson did not rape children.
White Michael Jackson rape children.
Okay.
Has some filithes.
That's a decent.
It has anything after bad, raped white boys.
As soon as he start carving up his face,
maybe that sent him deeper into insanity.
I don't get that fucking,
when people start doing that shit in a lot of,
not in the kids.
A lot of people, a lot of people start doing this shit to their face in Hollywood. I don't get it. A lot of people
have done this to their face. Because I can think of the one guy and a lot of fucking movie
stars actresses fuck up their fucking face. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
Everybody says he wants to look white.
I think he wants to look like a skeleton, which is pretty bad ass.
Yeah, look at all this.
Look at Tony.
What's his name?
Sammy.
Sammy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's what you didn't get surgery.
He just like, we're good.
You just fished out.
He just fished out.
He made himself better.
He gave himself a shot at life.
He's like, you couldn't play baseball forever.
You know, he's going to have to go get a regular job at some point.
I don't even know what to say to you.
Is that the same suit?
He couldn't do his knuckles.
Do you think he thought like the MLB? I'm sorry, I
don't forgive my steroids until I turn white. Yeah. Who can you get off Sammy? Go to a
plastic surgery movie star. I forget a name. There's a lot of them.
Okay. Clondon. Kardashians. Yeah. Yo, don't get me started on the Kardashians.
one. Kardashians. Yeah, you know, don't get me started on the Kardashians. Boy, oh boy, do I?
Oh, yeah, look at the way you look at the bottom left. That's not real. That's not real. You fucked up her face is Renee's Elwiger. She looks like she's got like, yeah, but look at this.
What the fuck is that? What's she supposed to do? Look old?
Yeah, why not? I don't know. She's trying to work. That's not even young though.
It's like, it looks harsh. You think that's better than looking old?
I think you think that's better than looking old. Some of them do. Go back to that.
I mean, it would be mean to say, no, I mean, she's going to let me know. If you
didn't see that picture, you wouldn't know. You would say, oh, she's an attractive lady.
Yeah. Yeah. But you'd also say she got a ton of shit shot in her face. Yeah. That's
I would know that I would not hopefully was from my cock. He's back. She's allergic to come. I don't know.
I like her as to the left the best.
Renee's elder brother got her a Madonna looks fucking red.
Renee's elder looks like you got that like face surgery for minority report that makes you into a different person.
Look at, but look, go back, go back up.
Look at right there to the left.
Right, I mean, that's just crazy.
Oh, she fucked her face.
That's not a towel Hannah.
Is that a towel Hannah, man?
It would be great to just,
just if we accidentally click on one,
that's just the normal aging process for a moment.
And we're like, oh no!
What did she do?
Married voice.
I mean, she actually looks better.
It was like Mickey Rort now.
That's not.
Yeah, but she looked,
she actually looked better than she did when she was younger.
This is a real question.
Did they have to lop out the plastic and fillers
when they buried her so as not to soil the grounds?
Do you know what I mean?
I don't know.
That sounds like one of those like,
did you know Rod Stewart had two leaders
if come to that.
But I am very sure that I'd
find that draw.
But I would agree to that.
Like if he's very capable.
He admitted.
He did?
Very cake.
So, did you have two leaders
come and spend it?
There's a rumor going around
that you had Jesus an entire Pepsi was come in your stomach. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm the computer. He bets his joke. We're beating the beast
is this. This is like 80's TV show live action. With the chick from, uh,
terminal, terminal, terminal, that's where I'm from. These looks like they have just fetal alcohol
syndrome. He's not wrong. You see that? No, no, I was rich. There's my mom drinking too much.
The new movie coming out with a, they out where they get a caveman's DNA,
and they drink it.
No, the pregnant is wife.
Look at her, we've got all this cake.
They come.
I'm just telling you three.
The world's gay as scientists.
The pregnant is a guy's wife.
It's winter, the moods We can find aliens to suck off.
And is that the mood?
Is that what happens?
And they know the impregnate,
they impregnate the husband and wife
science team and they get the DNA
from the and they impregnate her
with this whatever.
And she has a cave,
a caveman being a and he comes
out with the so it's not
can fall off from the dumb joke.
I made very close.
There it is right there.
Yeah, I just want my wife to, I want to be cocked by a cave man.
Yeah, that's, but he comes out, the baby comes out and it comes out and you see the
nurses carrying the baby on their like, what the fuck is this?
Yeah.
So it's like in seno man, except in the vagina, they
make it in seno man with, uh, with a vagina today. Cool. Yeah. Pretty crazy. What is this
fucking bucket list? I got so mad last week when he was doing stand up. Well, Smith. Yeah.
Why? Yeah. I? I don't know.
I was just like, I think it was a, I thought it was becoming a stand up, you know, just
fucking supersede everybody and sell out arenas and just murder.
So what?
He's already Will Smith.
Yeah.
He's given so much of this world.
It's like what?
He's a great entertainer.
He made a bunch of great movies like name one.
A lead independent state.
Good movie.
Not he didn't carry that though.
That's the thing.
He didn't check the time too.
And the job problem is not the.
I said, I know.
Here's that you know, because he's not.
Wolfsmith isn't in the fucking sequel.
I am legend was a fucking movie wasn't the star lead zombie was a star.
There's no one else in the.
And the dog and the dog and the dog.
That's true.
There's a dog.
Well, wild wild. Wings raiding. I's true. There's a dog. What are the movie? Wild wild winds rating.
I know, but it made a hundred. Spider Robot. So
far. Do you know that spider robot? I don't remember the story.
It was in like four or five different scripts. Some producer that was like,
I love this spider.
We got it. We got to get this fucking thing in one of these movies.
And then that's where it landed.
Yeah, Kevin Smith, he was great in Chango.
Who?
He was an in-jangad.
They're all the same.
Oh my god.
The actors, I mean, actors are all the same.
All actors are the same.
Yeah, I was something Mark.
Yeah, I don't know.
What do you want?
What do you have to get something in the business?
I'll be the fucking play that on Twitter.
I was saying, day, the day, when Mario, whatever, Lopez is like rich, made your fucking television
debut day on your own show. You and Bonnie, my wife hates me. It's the hit series. And
then I want you to play that clip. You know, he has his own line of underwear. Mario,
Mario Lopez. Lopez, that's his name. He's wearing Mario Lopez underwear. I am. I would
wear it. And today's show is brought to you by Mario. I wear it. If it comes with his hog
package like us, an extra sock to put in the front like that. Look at him. Fucking abs.
He's nuts. Look at that butt. Yeah. How old is he in that picture though?
And he looks like this to do like talk shows. Yeah. I don't understand it.
And hotel movie previews. How many times do you watch why I know I will get that fucking those abs.
Yeah.
And if they did that to a woman, she'd be fired.
Wait, who would be?
Oh, you mean Ellen.
Yeah, if Ellen is underwear line, he's not just being like molested there.
Yeah.
Look at the way he knows that's happening against his will.
They're holding a gun to his head.
Yeah.
No, he's fucking units.
Not that big.
What do you talk about?
He's got a cup in there. Yeah, they all do.
They all put like a piece of bread or something like that to be shaped. Yeah. That's a real part
of the religion. It's part of the Mexican religion. We all have to look at a piece of
memory. I know it's part of the Kingston. Yeah, they put a piece of bread in there and the
bottom part of an Italian loaf. I don't want Mike and Nick on a get together.
It's too weird for me.
I just don't know what we are.
And then Voss never.
No, I'm kidding.
You're the best.
I know.
All right.
You stink.
You really do.
So you just made guys look good.
What?
I'm here to make you guys look good tonight.
Yeah.
Me too.
Okay.
So why you Mike?
I'm doing the same. I am under delivering. I am my show. I had nothing. I
just want my truck back from my Sunday like fucking. I'm
trying to not call up raise hell and get some extra. It
doesn't work like that. You're fucking numbschool. Tell your
kid to send a teary thing to Eminem to try. My kid's got
cancer, all right. It doesn't work like that. He's got cancer. It doesn't work like that.
Yes, cancer. Yeah, I know. We're the insurance guy. Okay, ready. Go ahead. Hi, I was in an
accident and this is Robert Kelly. Yeah. And you have a Chicago. Do you have a Do you have a The Robert Kelly? The I'm sorry. Can I speak to a supervisor? Sure. Yeah, what's up?
Is that the way you talk to a customer? You want my supervisor? I want to speak to the owner of the car. Okay.
Hello, sir. Hello, my son is one second.
Yes, sir. Go ahead. What was that? What was so important that you couldn't speak to me? I had to get the situation
I was breastfeeding my son his cancer
Apologize, please accept my apology
The people busy years to be injected into my wife's
Second, I'm very painful. Kathy. Can you she's developing breast
Kathy you have breasts.
Do you not?
I have one.
I have one.
I have one.
My name is Robert Kelly.
I also have breasts.
Robert Kelly?
Yes.
The one that was on the dot com.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Anyways, I'm a father now and I understand the air of my ways.
Yeah.
One second. Okay. Listen, I just want an now and I understand the air of my ways. One second.
Okay.
Listen, I just want an extra $2,000 to buy done.
Okay.
Yeah, you can't.
They, they,
that's how poorly this is going.
You just looked at him furious.
No, I was Chris.
I didn't know it was.
I, uh, I always have furious face, by the way. Yeah, it's just my face. It. No, I was Chris. I didn't know who was. I always have
furious face, by the way. Yeah, it's my face. It's very disconcerting. Don't look at
you watch. Fuck you. You're supposed to be here, by the way. Yeah, I was. Look, I wasn't
supposed to be really. I'm right. Yeah. No, I came early. I said, I'm both right. I said he was coming late. Hey. Yeah.
She asked me to come. I said, right. Do you know what not? The city's does this. Yeah. Yeah. No. I said I would get
the asshoornous. I can't and I now Mike's on his fucking phone. It's my baby. Oh, you have a baby. I'm
having one in July. Are you really? Yeah.
Damn, you look great.
Nice buddy.
Holy fuck.
He wasn't going to say, he's I'm sitting in the seat, but you have to say that.
Because your wife, what does your wife do for a living?
She owns her own floral design company.
Oh, she's your offset.
Yeah.
This is a big business.
This isn't stuff.
Why isn't she big?
There's a lot of weddings and events and big and she makes my bitch.
She's a lot of flowers.
They love you know.
Sometimes but not really because our cats will choke and die on them.
They're like poisonous to get a van.
We have what?
Van, you own van.
No, we have a SUV, but I think she's in the market for purchasing a van.
Conversion, conversion, actually look at the reality of the real. Conversion, conversion van. Yeah, yeah. We will die a lot.
And like finally money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't, I don't hear all of what you said, but I agree to it.
Blunt, you're saying you get excited about tragedies
because you can sell flowers.
Oh, yeah, she doesn't do many few, a few narrals actually.
It's more.
So she sees a fire, a whole building on fire.
You guys get excited.
She's just there with her quote.
So you guys, as soon as you all heal, is it a weird and cemetery?
They have a flower shop and a tombstone place. Oh yeah.
I mean, I was supposed to be supposed to have it. It's just like, come on, guys.
I live in Crown Heights, so some of the floral places, like especially six years ago,
they had like machine gun flower displays and shit like that for like gangbangers that got murdered.
My father got remarried. he was leaving to go on this
honeymoon. He had beautiful fucking flowers here. And I took them and I gave them to my mom
the next day on Mother's Day. She didn't know that they came from her ex-husband.
Wow. But they were beautiful flowers. They were just going to throw them out.
This is something where we're eating. Why? They were beautiful. Who cares where you get them from?
I think your mom would I didn't tell her that she found out.
You can just chop his phone. Actually, my mom calling from the grave.
Is that a P.M.
Yeah. Did you find out about the flowers?
Where are you?
He down. he down stairs
All right, well, I'm a Bobby's park. It's killing. It's great. He's he's
Yeah, if you want, yeah, you could save yeah come up and fucking yeah, well more people just bomb
Bye, I probably we're gonna be done before 20 minutes
Bobby what do you need? You have different types of flowers.
Some of the feminists come up here.
What do we need?
What kind of flowers do you like to look at?
Carnations.
OK.
Roses.
No.
I don't like roses.
You're all like roses?
No, I don't.
Why?
You respect them.
Because of the thorns.
I just like carnations.
And I like daisies. All
right. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. Like orchids. Well, but I don't like I think they look they
look weird and they look like awful vaginas. I like dandy lions. So you don't respect them.
I don't respect an orchid fear them. I don't fear them. I just don't respect them. There's a there's a big flower that they
have in the DC botanical garden that just smells like rotting flesh. And that's like a big event when
this thing blooms. I hate and they're like consequence perspectives. Yeah. Everyone like like
what's the most DC thing is people are like, let's all go see the dead body flower. Is that it right there?
You see that?
Yeah, the corpse flower.
And it smells.
It smells like absolute shit.
And people go to see this big fucking shitty flower.
Is that the one that's in Dennis the menace, the movie?
It like blooms once a year.
No one showed the movie.
I didn't see Dennis.
It's a good movie.
Is that the one with Chris?
You don't see one. It's a warrior. You think he the one with Christy? You don't see one for warriors.
You think he said Dennis the menace?
No, I think I might have.
It's the one with Christy for Lloyd, right?
It's the bomb with Grace Dennis.
Okay.
Great.
That's a fantastic after a bridge.
Sorry about that.
Can you keep us sacred, Dennis?
When did you start doing impressions?
I've always done impressions.
Oh, that's great impressions.
You have an awesome Jack lemon. Oh, thank
Can I hear it my Jack lemon? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. No, I'm on the spot. Please. I love Jack lemon. Uh, no, I can't do it. I'll
I'll come. We'll come back to I will come back. You'll sneak you'll sneak. All right. No, now it's movie
The apartment Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. Nope. There's a wine and roses. No, it's Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. There's a wine and roses hands down
Angry grumpy old man is not one of his best movies.
It's a great movie. Not one of his best movies. I think you should have great
difference between Jason Winer roses and 12 and that's just man. That's just
the mammoth. He only had a small part. I'm not a huge mammoth fan though.
Yeah, but that I mean, in fact, mammoths kind of bad. You think? Yeah.
Too worthy. No, not too worthy.
It's a Fritzvall.
And I don't know.
I've made this point before and I don't know this show.
But like anything that's directed by mammoth and written by him is like almost,
they are autistic movies.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I agree with you there.
Like, Oliana was bad.
And House of Games is absurd.
Yeah.
Just how weird the performances are.
But I thought that was a good idea.
It was cool. Movie's cool. Movie's cool that was a good idea. That was a good one. That was a good one.
Yeah, movies cool.
I like that movie.
That's actually pretty good.
I don't remember.
Did he, he didn't direct Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.
He did not.
Yeah.
So it was actually good.
But I like man.
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,
I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I is a great movie though. What about I like house of games.
What about the director? Yeah. See Roman directed it. Okay.
What's the one that was a patino or Hoffman did with a guy from Hillstreet
Blues? It was just so too.
Carol Conor. No.
He's in.
Vazov has made something to do a fucking shitty game show.
What's that guy with? I love him. What's that? Maritime Buffalo. I Something to do a fucking shitty game show
I love and what's that marriage in Buffalo love to do yeah American Buffalo. Yeah, who was that the two it was just who was who are the two stars
Dennis Forina friends now what happened he's dead right? No to me
There's not the where is he? Did his friends is probably dead?
Oh, he's not dead. Are you sure? He feels like one of those guys that would have
like quietly died. That's all between 26 1984.
In it. 44 is when he was born. Yeah. He's not dead. Wow.
And it was amazing. He was great. It's not like that guy could have like suddenly looked
to shittier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's just what exactly.
You know, I love actor's like that who had just been shitty.
Yeah.
Like Robert DuVon was always in the guy.
You know, he died.
You're thinking of as John Polito from from all the, you know, Colin Brothers movies,
John Polito.
He played Johnny Casper and Miller's Crossing.
Oh, he, you know, he was gay too.
Sick of the high hat.
I do know that he was sick.
And I didn't know he was, because he's such an alpha mafia guy.
Is that your read on him?
In the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the,
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the,
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the,
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the
the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the
in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the
the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the in the you all and boys. Oh, he's so fucking good in that movie. The movie is one of my favorite one of my favorite movies
Still fucking great movie. Yeah
It's a bad play Leo. Well, he was in the godfather, too, right?
Maybe you got father every Italian. He wasn't a guy. He was great. I found it. He was my friend was he said
He was at a party with him in LA and he was just swimming in the pool.
Do you know that anyone's like, he was like, Hey, who's just like, I was like,
anyone who appeared in the sopranos is banned from the Columbus day parade in New York.
Why?
I don't know. There was some dispute between the Columbus day parade organizers and
the guild of Italian American actors.
They have their own like sag, this is just for us.
We got this thing of us, you know, they don't let,
it's only for Italian Americans.
And the parade demanded to know who was in the,
who in their guild was in the sopranos
so they could ban them.
Oh, because they didn't like what they portrayed.
Yeah, yeah, because so...
Stop being in the mafia.
What is the thing? What was the deal?
And then they banned everyone in the Italian American.
They just they're in mafia hit last week.
Yeah.
And it wasn't it wasn't a mafia connected hit.
No, some idiot that tried to date his niece.
Yeah, from Jersey.
It was just something that the police even said.
It's the dumbest high profile murder of all time.
The guy is an actual nobody who apparently had some big dust up
where he no longer allowed him to see his niece. And he went up to him, crashed his car into a car, drew the guy outside
and fucking put like eight bullets in him.
Wow.
I heard it again, being no family.
Yeah.
They thought they were going to impress Tony.
It was Matthew Bevelock.
Bevelock.
What is this kid's got about that?
That's a three Asian fucking kill before they take him out?
Jesus Christ.
He put the jail.
Child pornography. Some stupid. Yeah, but you know this guy's not like
this guy's not like a fucking he's not I don't think he's that scared.
I mean, he did kill somebody. I mean, he killed a mob guy.
He's a little disconnected himself. Yeah, to be
able to do what he did, he has a little mafia in him. Yeah. You know what I mean? To just,
I mean, he's, yeah, he look at, he don't give a fuck. He's right. He has like a bunch of like
QAnon and like, uh, magas stuff like written on his hand in ballpoint pen that he's showing in
the courtroom. Yeah, he don't get. Oh, so this was another internet thing. What? I guess, uh, magas stuff like written on his hand in ballpoint pen that he's showing in the courtroom. Oh, so this was another internet thing.
What?
I guess, well, there's the shooting in New Zealand and now this guy.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess now it's just going to like be people from Reddit murdering people.
Hopefully people on Reddit get murdered by people.
Yeah.
You tell them.
Yeah.
I hope all those Reddit guys die. Yeah. Then you'd only make 20, you tell them. Yeah. I hope all those reddit guys die. Then you
only make 20,000 a week. Yeah, he's done. I mean, the guy, the guy who accidentally backed
in and killed Sammy DeBulles kid in his car. Sammy DeBull was going to kill him, but
one of Sammy DeBulles guys took him out, you know.
Yeah, but they say the mafia's coming back.
Who?
To solve white supremacy.
We gotta do some about Trump's friends.
They say the mafia's coming back.
It's just a woke mafia.
Why me?
Think about it.
Magnificent.
Stop spreading your legs on the tree. Just a woke mafia. Why me? Think about it. Magnificent.
Stop spreading your legs on a tree.
I'm thinking of so much room.
What do you think this is?
It can't look.
They say everybody's sharing their seats.
I wish my computer guy would help me with the day, but he's fucking listening to dumb
boss.
I'm getting for four minutes. What did I say? Don't. No, I'm not getting for four minutes.
What did I say?
Don't say me.
No, I'm saying he's fucking been typing same in the book for 20 minutes.
Right there.
See it.
There you go.
It's rising up.
Yeah.
They're getting into a pan dogs.
Patreon.
Yeah, they have a lot of.
Four levels.
Yeah.
Isn't that the down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. uh, pan dogs, Patreon, you have to have a, I'm a podcast, four levels.
Yeah.
Is that the downfall, the, the downfall of the mob was movies in TV and being famous?
Was Rico laws?
Yeah, I know that they, the FBI put that in.
Yeah, but it was a lot of all.
It was downfall of the mob, which fucking Vegas when it became corporations.
Like, like, fucking Mexicans and the Colombian circle rage.
Rolled himself.
That was pretty much the end, you know, it took Salinas hit hard too.
When they, when they started being on T, you two are sucked together.
It's just fucking down.
I can't remember what cover says.
Just fucking weirdness.
What's so weird about it?
Like, don't want a Brooklyn room.
Really is. Just what's wrong with Brooklyn?
I like I live in Brooklyn. I think it's pretty cool.
I have no idea. I think it's a pretty cool place. Shut up.
Next. Some of us think it's a cool place to live. Take your hand off.
I can ride my bike everywhere.
It's not your bike.
I give daps to my neighbors.
So we have a motorcycle or a pedal bike.
A pedal bike.
I ride my pedal bike.
It's all that cool Brooklyn.
It's my soon to be father friends.
It's like the 23 stone. And we go'm going to fucking change my whole opinion on Nick.
I uh, the whole the whole fuck will you do you have a track?
Oh, no, I don't have a track.
The whole mafia when they started doing movies and they became the fucking the godfather
and they became superstars.
Yeah. the fucking the godfather and they became superstars. Yeah is when they started
fucking everything up and then and then these there was a code they had a code you can't
fucking rat in the bill and all of a sudden they're like fuck it. I'm out. Yeah.
Like these guys can go witness protectors for right a fucking book 10 years down there
be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a be a right the fucking book ten years down there. The code worked because your friend could murder somebody. You can be like, yeah, I don't know anything.
And they'd be like, well, we can't charge them anything.
And then he changed the law.
So it's like, well, you know the guy.
So we're going to charge you with conspiracy.
And you're going to get 30 years anyways.
Yeah, but they're not going to do it.
They both do 11th tradition basically.
What's that?
Press radio and film.
The 11th tradition.
Attraction rather than promotion. Yeah, to keep away from Press radio and film. The 11th tradition. Attraction rather than promotion?
Yeah, to keep away from press radio and film.
But you know, you had guys like Goddie,
that were, you know, very flamboyant out there, you know.
And, but that's not what killed them.
What killed them really was corporations fucking the drug.
They couldn't compete with the Colombians and the cartel when
it came to drugs.
Are you kidding me?
Those guys were ruthless.
They would just kill anybody.
So the drugs, you know, they were still middlemen with that too.
They were taking the drugs from the Colombians and then, but the thing is, when you're bringing
over say 200, I mean, 2000 pounds, that's where the money is.
That's a guy's rings.
What's that?
I can't ever conversation with one of these guys. No, I'm telling you the conversation
with me. Yeah.
I'm trying to have a conversation the whole time. And then Vegas, and Vegas state of
control.
Like a lot of hotwear and hipstick jerk off This guy with his damn hat in the winner
Damn band or something not back like we're not doing this in a park
Fucking idiot my hair is fucked up. I got a bad hair. You got hair. I got a bad haircut. I have a bad haircut
I think it looks great. I think it looks pretty cool, Bobby. Vos is done.
No, we'll go up, okay, so the Colombians shut up.
You're not listening.
You're in your own fucking wheel.
You're listening.
Stupid weirdo followed you.
He knows that you're the future.
So we fucking glominate and so didn't she.
They're all glominate unit because you make fifty million dollars a week on your stupid podcast so yeah,
exactly. Exactly. And traction.
That's the motion.
A really awesome finished. So we're done.
Well, we think we open like a like a a wisdom type of thing like
what?
What the fuck is that?
What my boy?
Oh, I'm
type
yeah
it brings up
when he started
I'm talking about
and
this
you
like the guy in game of thrones
you know in the the row wisdom.
You have the wisdom of an old man.
You just do a Twitter joke on me.
No, Twitter.
What do you mean Twitter?
Love Game of Thrones.
It's such a poppin.
Shut up.
Shut up.
It's coming.
Shut up.
You just shut up.
I'm very excited.
It's just shut up.
It's a possible reference.
This is the last one.
And then YKWDF.
And that last one.
How's the banister?
What are they going to do this year?
Are they going to kill?
I don't know.
I've never seen that.
Don't fall into his trap.
What one?
That's his trap.
He's weird.
There's a boss.
He listen to me.
His weird trap is just bringing.
You understand?
He's almost at the edge of insanity.
Nick, he's a very highly intelligent guy.
A regular conversation.
Doesn't, yeah, an agent of chaos.
If he doesn't, that conversation doesn't get him off.
Well, Christopher Nolan, yeah, exactly.
That's, that sums it up.
Yeah, he just watched.
Hickel and Greene.
Yeah.
So today is just a day where he's like, yeah, whatever. That's that sums it up. Yeah, he just got a whole green
Is just a gay or is a guy whatever and we're falling we keep
What do you bring quite a man? We can talk about this and we go and he just chases and this fucking
Fucking falls along don't fall into it. I'm not falling into it
All this is going in one year. I'm telling the truth.
Were there sandpuller greeners available to everyone?
I brought that up from there.
It says, but you can have whatever you want.
How's the mob coming back?
Freshly.
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm on Patreon.
We're going to have tears on Patreon.
Pop out of crowdfunding.
When you go into a mob like me, no, they're going to pass out envelope so you put your
phone in.
Huh?
You don't get it.
I don't think we did like a comedy show.
Yeah, I know.
It wasn't bad.
I don't know. I'm looking
I want you to succeed. I don't want either one of these guys to this weird shit is freaking out.
Listen, Mike has his album on Sarah. She's doing great. Leave him alone. I'm a big fan of what's
your last name? Camman, Mike Hammond, can and can and I was very funny.
I know he did Bennington.
Uh, my eyes.
What happened to your face?
We got two new theater shows.
Do we really?
Yeah, we got another, uh, what's the one in Long Island?
The big parent.
Oh, when?
Dude, I don't know yet.
Why?
I gotta know. It's not for the fall our tour with me Vos Bennington and Jim Florentine
They're putting a tour together for us and the fall so we're gonna be we're dates are coming in now great because I'm
I'm leaving the fall open
Well don't mind stuff in the fall
You need to leave it open book
I don't have stuff in the phone. You don't need to leave it open.
Book, I'm not, booky gigs.
I'm leaving everything open.
Don't do that.
I did that once.
My fun tour was, I was a big name comic
was I glistened, I'm doing a big tour.
I would, would you like to do some of the shows?
I mean, it was all over the world.
And I was like, yeah, absolutely, I'll do it.
I'll take, I'm gonna take August off.
I saw an audio link, it's how it is you're gonna bring it. Sorry. And I, I'm gonna take August off I Yeah, so when I do I think it's how does he gonna bring you?
Sorry, and I
Know it gets the wall Yeah, but that's how it was doing just don't you know the conversation on this fucking
I was the comic why that was you're talking about vans for a while
Who was the comic oh?
Opinions he says he wants one with a motor in it.
We said that's probably not a good idea.
So what about the good wind?
The wind thing.
I just said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said,
you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you said, you you said, edge it. Why do I even why do I forget about you too?
I forgot I never booked the same guy.
You guys like the same except one's better than the other, but I never he's trying to
tear us apart.
Our friendship in which we see each other once a year.
I go, how's it going?
You say I'm having a baby.
I'm like, all right.
I'll tell you what.
Okay. I'm gonna kill mine. I'm like, all right. I'll tell you what was okay. I'm gonna kill mine. I broke my ribs. I lost my truck. I stepped on my glasses. I knew glasses. Oh my God. And I fixed them. I stepped on the other side. Oh, damn.
Yeah. Your dice clays. I got my what? Your dice clays. The big frames. Let me see your
tattoo. I have several. is this is a this is
Do you understand do you understand that's the show right here?
What is now talking present now he's having another podcast during the podcast
Because you guys listen to podcasts and work
Listen
About something you
To
I'm dumb glasses and I asked about his tattoo.
They're both fucking ridiculous.
Nobody cares about your glasses.
Nobody cares about him or his tattoo.
And so what I'm here is about this, yeah.
Which, which, do you have any tattoos?
No.
That's how, this is how my skin, this is it.
Interesting.
I'm very, very interesting.
You're even, is that mean you live in the moment now for now?
Yeah, yeah. I got it
also after Mike D's Stefano died. He's my wife's cousin cousin. Yeah. So he can't make
front of it. No, no, he's due. I have a, when you look at the other way, it's Ma'an. Yeah.
It's like a Jamaican thing. So wait, Mike, when Mike's I show it to the people in Crown Heights to go extra.
I try to get it as yes.
This count on cigarettes and my local bodega.
What about you guys, like,
that was the case with Cortes?
I'm the only one.
She got my crew Brooklyn tattoo.
I'm the only white person in the baby.
I'm having a baby too.
What the fuck?
The thing is that your audio mind, dude.
It's so hot.
I know.
You're right.
I forgot.
Who did that, a friend?
No, somebody on St. Mark's.
It was a last minute decision.
I have better artwork on the inside of my arm and then let's over here.
I can't take it off.
Come on.
Let's see.
Take off your shirt.
What are you?
My old Jackson.
Honestly, I only have to take your shirts.
I'm doing my camera.
I've got it.
I've got it.
I've got it. I just want to see camera. I thought he had a tattoo on his ass.
Oh, I just wanted to see it.
It was a signed permission.
I thought he had a tattoo.
Yeah, yeah.
Who's in here? That's the trick.
You put the permission slip on the boy's ass.
Oh, I'm from here.
I'm very smart.
Yeah.
I think, hey, you're coming.
You're not asleep, though.
One more needs to see that permission slip. I want to thank you. I was like, oh, I can't talk right now. I'm like, what's the way? Why?
I can't, I don't know.
I don't know.
I had a cough.
You say the word.
I'm like, it's dying.
I'm like, what?
I'm like, it's just a cough.
You have a cough.
I feel like you're like, what?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way?
I'm like, what's the way? I'm like, what's the way? I'm like, what's the way? I'm like, what's the way? I'm terrible. What? I don't know my I had a cough. You say the word. My style.
Right.
I'm okay.
It's just a cough.
You have a time.
I feel like we need to be off the
right.
You have a time now.
It's called diabetes.
Do you go to the hospital?
No, my sugar is fine.
But why can't you say the laughable?
Laffable.
You said it.
Okay.
Sorry.
I got.
Don't apologize.
Laffable.
Are you crying?
Yeah.
Why would you say sorry?
You said it say it all the time and don't tell him what to do
She was giving me why you attacking her for how about I just attacking everybody. Yeah, it's my thing
I'm not I lost my truck
The insurance company
Let me speak to them. It can't be any more.
Step to my glasses.
I'm going to parking ticket.
Why don't you tell us old, old, all of this, the claims just you got a parking ticket.
I got a parking ticket.
Why didn't you just walk away?
No, let's go.
Because you're obese.
Why?
You're the size of a vehicle
Go don't do that here go go
Go open the door for bus four bus four. I'm ending the show. I'm ending this for why because I'm not I want to I'm done
Why you done? We're having a great time
I'm gonna go I'm Android is it made or I'm gonna let you guys go and I'm gonna go pee
You're done. Yeah, no you guys can feel the show just got just starting
We still got another two hours of this
Yeah, I had a coffee. Well, I'm supposed to go home and go sleep
Thanks for broadcasting
I'm supposed to go home and go to sleep. No, I don't know.
Thanks folks.
We're broadcasting.
Oh, it's not broadcasting.
We're broadcasting folks.
It's not fucking broadcasting folks.
We're broadcasting.
I'm not going to do that.
Androin is in beta now guys.
So finally, you guys can try that out.
Also, Tyler Vegas.
Bobby will be there, the end of May,
through 26.
We're going to be there with Bobby. I don't know, Michael. Keith Robinson. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de pelÃcula y un sinfÃn de aventuras te esperan.
¡Fliparás!
Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.
Volotea.
Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consult didn't know if I was allowed. I think it seems like a, like, you can come, listen to me.
You come up anytime you want.
Bob is being very hostile tonight to everyone.
Yeah. No, no, no.
Is this what you do?
You just sit there and get your aggression.
You bully everyone on the show.
No.
Yeah.
Why?
You said he said I was retarded.
I know.
I didn't say that.
He said, I didn't really retarded.
You don't say retarded.
You say on the spectrum.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that. I didn't say
that. I said he's weird. Oh yeah, yeah, no, that's true. And I said Mike is the same weird as him.
So it's hard. He said I was gay and I'm bombing. I didn't say it was and he walked in with nothing
and I'm bombing. Your husband walked in literally yes, but I've done this many times and every time
you're not going to hit it out of the park. That's your job. That's actually your job. It's the other park every fucking time.
There's a microphone. Come on, man. It's your fucking job. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not
getting hot. I don't know if I can keep. No, but it does. I know your road dates in which
you are compensated. What's that? Oh, I plug my road dates. No, I said that that is why
you hit it out of the park because it plugs you. Yeah, you're like, hey, I'm a toss and hilarious. Who's bullying who now?
Who's being aggressive now?
Shut up, shut up.
Shut up, I wrote a date.
Fuck off.
Cobb owner?
Well, I'm sharing most of them as your opener.
So it's exciting stuff.
What do you call that?
Should be the open.
It's the guy that got it open for you.
That city all came to see him.
Feini.
Yeah.
How do you know?
He's my podcast go host.
I like him.
He said go to him.
I like him.
But when you worked with him and he goes, he goes, they're all the people that came to
see me and he was a little fool people.
He kept telling me, did you know that I got my people coming down, man, they're like
you to, I think he said they like you too.
Do they took, did he tell you to cut back on your time. So he do.
No, but he asked. He did ask the guy, the guy who were sitting in the room, he go, the
guy, the manager came and he goes, Hey, how are we doing tonight? What's, what's the
numbers? He said the middle said what's the numbers to the fucking manager and the
manager went, what? I don't know right now. Like why am I fucking
telling you? How are we doing out? They didn't mark you. They didn't mark you though.
So he had a, that was the worst party. He had a martini in his hands. There's a martini
and we're at a, you standing right there. I was sitting there right in front of you. He
did it. I was sitting right here and he was right there and he had a martini and we had
some shit casino in the middle of fucking Oklahoma or something. There's a, hey, what are
the, how are we looking for the next show?
What are the numbers?
Is it that made of American place?
The, what's it called Cherokee Nation casino?
That's not my idea.
Yeah, that place is cool.
It was all right.
Yeah.
Well, I guess they, they pay real well.
Yeah, they pay real well.
They did, they paid, they paid all right.
I don't know like this.
They pay, they pay him for it too.
I have to be doing more.
Shut up. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I to be doing more. Shut up. I'm.
I'm.
I'm going to show the story.
And then you came in with some really good, um,
editions about where exactly it is.
And people like to know the ins and outs of the business.
Yeah.
But how are you?
I was about to bring up this.
This is like audio crashing.
He's got a tattoo up from when Mike Geese to follow.
It says Maun for his tattoo.
Mike was Caribbean.
Mike was his wife.
He died with beads in his hair.
Yeah.
It says now.
Well, it went upside down.
It says Maun.
That was a big thing.
You want to talk about hitting it out of the park.
Well, this is a call back from something else. Obviously. You want to just about hitting it out of the park? Well, this is a call back from something else, obviously.
You want to just do this?
No.
Yeah, we had a couple of dingers before you got here.
I wish I could have been there for.
Oh, yeah.
Well, put it back for it, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, we should review this.
We want to look at two computers over here.
They're keyboards over there.
Yeah, I guess.
So yeah, I would assume so
You're gonna show her something stop it. Yeah, nothing
I have a question for no
You can't pay get in just you know fucking listen. He was practicing whistling
No, this is the thing though
I he wants you to yell at him. No, this is the thing though. I
Want you to yell at him. No, there was attention not going to him. So now I'm sorry. I thought we were done No, it is absolutely right. You can't he does two conversations. He doesn't listen
He's just waiting and then we know people are talking on him. He'll just start yapping to somebody else
They were having a conversation. Sorry. Sorry. I'm over
All just to hurt you. I said I'm sorry, I'm over-colleged. Paul Jess to hurt you. I said I'm sorry. Paul Jess to get a heated thing.
Paul Jess to get a heated thing.
Paul Jess to get a heated thing.
I don't need to be Paul Jess to do it.
I want him to apologize to you.
I'm sorry.
He's learning.
I would know.
So make sure to improve themselves.
I'm not going to...
You know what?
Yeah.
What were you guys talking about?
I'm sorry, I didn't hear. It really wasn't great. It wasn't good. You're doing, you're not, yeah. What were you guys talking about? I'm sorry, I didn't hear.
It really wasn't great, it wasn't good.
Tell me you're doing, but also, but you're still being
like, I'm a dickhead.
I was interested in the answer though,
because I thought we could get somewhere.
Well, you're not into shading anymore.
I'm cruising.
I'm waiting for the money right now.
It's happening again.
What?
For the second time, he's telling me something
and you guys are actually talking.
I'm not gonna curse, your thing is, he's got nothing
interesting I want to hear.
Like when it comes to business, but he's smart.
Like I like when I'm talking about Guadalajara.
Well, that was a nice thing.
No, but no, I like when you talk.
I like this entire story.
I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
He's been on the same thing as you're whistling.
And now I'm being bullied by multiple people. I'm sure I'm not bullying. I'm being bullied by multiple people.
I'm not bullying.
I'm encouraging.
This is just a kind of stuff that makes me want to get a gun and shoot up a mosque.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this.
He's got a behavior with a go at this. He's got a behavior with a go at this. He's got a behavior with a go at this. He's got a behavior with a go at this. He's got a behavior with a go at this. school and kill hundreds of children. LouAbran.com is, uh, I don't want to do something like that.
But if you're going to listen through my stories, call me boring.
They say, whistle.
I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
I would like to feed you.
Rachel is a proud.
I was Brooklyn.
You she worked with a major show tonight, David David cross Gary Goldman all the big ones who else
Oh
She Irish she is yeah
Oh, you know what she might be in
Oh, you know what she might be in the wow. I confuse. I thought you're funny. That's fuck wow. I love that that's literally caught on tape like a ghost. Wow. So
banded by England. What was the line? That's true. Yeah. Both raped by the English.
Um, it's not a fucking weird. I've got a nice bread. I said it first. I'd turn up.
How did David Cross do? We work in did. How did David Cross do working tandem?
How did David Cross do? He's great.
He's so funny.
David Cross is.
Yeah.
I've never seen him.
Yeah.
And then you follow him.
You didn't have any.
There was a intermission.
Yeah.
10 minute intermission.
I was not happy about why for everybody to roll their own cigarettes.
You get a show rolling and then you stop it.
And that's very here.
Yeah.
That's how they did it back in the 20s.
Yeah.
You know, you go see a picture show and they take an intermission.
You go to the speak easy.
When I used to know, I was like, hey, hey.
So last guy, were you going to blast?
When were you up?
No, I was on the last half.
I was the first up on the last half.
Who won the blast?
I don't know.
I left. You took off. Why did you go? Um, I don't know.
And Mrs. It seems like a good fucking show to have.
She need go off alone, friends, but she wasn't there.
Was that it? She wasn't there though.
Why? How do you have? How do you have
Jeanine Graffle on friends and not be there?
She, I guess she's filming something.
That's what I was told.
A little bit closer. I further inquired about what she was filming.
And nothing. Maybe nothing. And no one knew. I feel like I might be the only friend, real
friend. Are you a friend? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Jeanine. She did our radio. I text her. I text that bitch.
Really? At least once in my life, I have just one time. No, a few, it was a few over the years.
Yeah. That's a very number, you know, that's something.
Did you see Gary go up?
I got there right when he was on and I didn't really, then he got off.
Well, he was in the first half.
Him and David cross.
It was him then.
What the fuck is this?
Sloan?
Sloan, gathering.
Okay.
Um, too bad, Joe.
She went on destroyed.
Who the hell is Sloan? Um, she was on our
show. She was on our, uh, would you bang them? She was one of the judges. Oh, her? Oh,
Delse. Yeah. Okay. Right. She's on the daily show. Uh, she was on our show when, uh,
in South by South. She's very funny. Oh, yeah, we'll be doing one car talk on the way back to Jersey. Yeah, I mean
in us it doesn't seem honestly worse than what was it does sound like heart talk. You're right.
It's very similar to the first was there she taught
Yeah. You know, when your Shreshings was where did we go in the lineup? It was my wife's cousin, so I tattooed him.
It says now, he won't be here now.
He's dead.
He's dead.
Oh my God.
We weren't married at the time, but I thought I would impress her.
I'm fucking in that soul.
Sounds like a great chill.
It's mostly fine.
Well, it seems like it worked, right?
Did he die?
I know.
Thank God.
My roots are having that son.
No, I'm just a son.
To be honest, my relationship would be in shambles
if his heart didn't explode.
Why?
I'm just, I don't know.
God continue.
Why?
Do you say that?
The butterfly effect.
How would you say that?
Read the room.
These guys are all going to have heart attacks.
Yeah.
Not all of us.
Bobby and I did a special with Mike.
You, I know I was at that special and, uh, the audience.
Yeah, I was in the audience for sure.
Getting the tattoo in the audience.
I thought that was happening. Mike, and it was in the audience. For sure. Getting the tattoo in the audience.
Mike and it was Mike's pride. The back and forth you had with the guy with the bald guy.
That was my friend Andrew sitting right next to me.
I don't remember it.
All I know is that Mike put this together and a network kind of buried it.
And it was such a great.
Yeah, great idea with Bobby and Norton and Mike.
And he's Mike's fucking baby.
And he put so much work into it.
Yeah.
And it was a great show.
Yeah, it was Mike's name after him.
Bobby, that's when you had to come out because there was some sort of.
I didn't have to.
You came back.
I told him I fucked up my joke and I went back and I was like, I asked you.
I was like, look, I got to go do my shit.
I got to go do it again.
You came out.
You have 15 pounds heavier. We can't get the shit. I gotta go do it again. You came out you have 15 pounds heavier
We can't get the shot. I
Love that one of the funny. Can I say Alan? You're like
Here we go. The joke is that it's been five years
They explain your brilliance on that exactly
Too much intelligence, but you know.
Yeah, it's fucking Nick the Robot.
I don't know.
I do a Patreon.
I have none of my life.
I have no more moments.
What about my...
This is a new robot.
I ride a bike.
I like Brooklyn. My down. Look at that. I ride a bike.
That'll...
I like Brooklyn.
My wife's uncle's wife.
She's got a son of a mink.
Baby.
What's wrong with my hat?
My wife's best friend, I try to tattoo.
He doesn't know what to do.
He's fucking malfunctioning. Look at her.
Keep touching the microphone.
I don't know.
In my head, word in, head, eyes.
His mustache is falling off.
I was like,
just because I said you came 15 five minutes
Oh, we can
Oh, we are funny back and forth.
Oh, I'm on the beat on you.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat.
I'm on the beat. I'm on the beat. I'm on the beat. I'm on the beat. I'm on board. I'm on board. I'm on board. I'm on my Jared Fried one to leave. Oh my God. I was like, you know, let's talk about that guy now.
Are you okay? Am I right? He's gonna handle the McFly later.
That was good. I'm just gonna go. I'm just gonna go.
I love it. They call it bullying. Yeah.
They're back in force. It's supposed to be just for us.
Yeah, I just made fun of you, Pat.
Now you're bullying.
Shut up, bitch.
Go isn't compensating you.
I have to fucking sell her to the movie that night.
And I try, I send her to the movie and she goes,
what's that about?
Oh, yeah.
It was fucking worse.
I think I should become like the thing people are just saying.
What's that about?
It's a Tokyo fucking movie.
Wow. It's a Tokyo fucking idiot. Wow.
It's a guy with downsides.
No.
What do you need, man?
It's the most big of style.
Get out of my face, rejoin.
As it turns out.
Well, oh, he's going carrot.
How you living?
Second. Are you cold now? Huh? I've been cold since I got here. Oh, he's going charred. I live in a second.
Are you cold now?
Huh?
I've been cold since I got here.
I had a couple good ones.
Just like my pussy.
No.
But I don't know.
You know, she cold, not old.
No.
It was said about you.
No.
Well, you don't say something to me.
No, I'm not.
No, he was said about you.
You saw it on his head.
I never see anything.
I never see anything.
I never see anything. I never see anything. I never see anything. I never see anything. No. You don't say sorry to me.
No, I'm not.
No, he was sorry.
You saw it on his face.
I never see anything like that.
You were married in my entire life.
She saw the rich light.
So he found some relics.
You got this.
I'm going to put my pants.
It's his old pants.
I can't.
I can't.
I'm going to hold it.
I hold it to the other show. Don't tell me. What do you
his fucking bladder? Yeah, I'm a fucking yo. You look like my bladder. You have me to hold it again.
If you can find it. Let those guys have those jokes.
They really stink. I know there.
You could say this, you could say this.
Yeah, but this isn't good.
All right, so Liz and Mike, what do you got?
For what?
Who you open to for?
Bobbiq.
Bobbiq.
This is live.
Yeah, it's live.
Yeah, all right.
Then this Thursday, I'm headlining, levity live on the half all right. Then this Thursday coming. I'm headlining.
Levity live.
Thursday.
Middle-oop Friday.
Yeah, I'm not middleing for the rest. It's just a one night difference between opening
and middleing, by the way.
Yeah, Friday and Saturday night.
I think opening is hosting and middleing is feature.
Why would you say, you think? I think that's what it's, that's what it is.
Nobody knows. Not, not, not even do you know what?
It was a feature in a middle.
There's no.
There's no.
No, that's the same thing.
It's between a host and a.
I know what I'm seeing.
I'm see.
What if I didn't know that?
Who are the people sitting in front of the stage?
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
The concept.
It's surprising when like somebody is doing comedy for 20 years, the microphone will break
and they'll be like, oh no, yeah.
Oh, the fucking dude.
So one piece of equipment you have at your job.
Right.
And you don't know how to click it back in the play.
Yeah.
Well, I concentrate on jokes.
Yeah.
Well, I concentrate on the technical aspect.
I know.
And that's why I'm a fucking millionaire.
I'm a fucking true.
I work at a mom.
He can afford a tooth.
Yeah.
That became a style choice very quickly.
He can afford a tooth.
He'd rather, you know, lean in.
Yeah.
He wants to be the fucking cacolander enough comedy.
Because you go on stage with a fucking candle and a lot of.
We got the jackalander.
I kept going.
I got.
I know.
But it's all getting.
We all laughed.
So you're headlining on Thursday,
levity live March 21st.
You don't have to look at your calendar.
You know that as a fact.
No, no, of course I do.
But I know a lot of things here.
I'm sure.
I'm a tape reminder that I like people go like three months
in advance and stuff.
You're like, there should be a cap, right?
Like, yeah, you can, you can do your next two weeks. Where can I do my next? I'll be showcasing for Montreux again and stuff. There should be a cap, right? You can do your next two weeks.
Can I do my next? I'll be showcasing for Montreux again and October.
The next week, the 26, I'm doing an hour at the Fat Black Pussycat 7 pm.
And then the 28th, I've a live Irish goodbye podcast at New York comedy club at 10 pm.
Oh, and no podcasts, right?
Then after that, I'm going to be promoting other podcasts. It's getting better. You know what? I know she might be living funny.
He literally he's literally he gave all my plugs. There's the same plugs I have. Love
it alive. It's like I got a thing at the pussy cat and I'm going to Ruba. Oh yeah,
I'm going to be there for one day.
Why don't you just give the dates now?
You just said it.
Next week, I'll be at the MGM Grand in Vegas.
And then I'll just go to work for us.
I'm.
Another thing Nick learned on a fucking mind trip somewhere.
We will be doing we will be doing alive my wife hates me and I would you bang him at Moon Tower my wife hates me and
Are you a moon tower this year? No, oh?
You good for that show. Did you ever done it? I do
No, when you bang I'm our show that we do sometimes what is that?
It's where guys come up and do like five minutes of stand-. And then the female judges decided that we're gang, or not.
Or they have to fuck them afterwards.
They say yes. Then yes. There's three female judges and a gay one. So they discuss whether
they're rushing. Yeah, sure. I'll do a stand up. So, you're gonna fly to Moon Tower to do it. Oh, yeah, I'll fly to Austin to do that.
Yeah.
On your plane?
Yeah.
Yeah, we have a G6.
Oh, I forgot your rich now.
Yeah.
It's so funny, like guys like him and Shultz and, you know,
they're in the business for a week and they're fucking loaded.
It's just been a business for 15, 18 years.
I see, really?
Yeah, dude, he used to do it.
Maybe Danny LaBoult. Yeah, I see. I see. and shulks and you know they're in the business for a week and they're fucking loaded. Shulks are gonna the business for 15 18 years.
I see really?
Yeah dude he used to do it.
Maybe Danny LaBalle.
Not for nothing but I've been doing stand-up 14 years.
No I'm only fucking.
Oh really don't take care of him.
Oh my god.
I don't know what you're saying.
I feel very wrong.
Jesus.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What the hell are you?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing.
You're fucking killing me the whole show
Wait, but we broke the man
We know you've been doing it 14
You're unsuccessful
is the question. Fucking your gaming podcast.
He's actually like one of Gary Goldman's tips.
Listen to me.
What is that?
I don't know.
There's a lot of podcasts.
That show could have been better somewhere else, but I like the joke.
Yeah.
I like the energy of the Andrews.
Did he been doing it for 18 years?
He's been doing a lot.
And I didn't know that.
He was with Danny LeBalot, that radio show.
The podcast.
I mean, it was the first guy
to start fucking with podcasts. He had like Paul Giamani on it. He would have created
Carlisle.
George Collin on it. And he really Danny was a motherfucker. He's a beast. And shoots
he worked on that show.
I'm what it's dead of.
Fucking I don't know why I'm such a big fan of shouts. You know why? Because he knows
he's on his way up and you might jump on those cars.
Not at all, not at all.
Because he doesn't get offended and he knows he just,
it's like hanging with the old guys back in the day.
He doesn't get it.
He has a very loud laugh and I honestly think that's what Rich is attracted to.
Yes.
Rich says stuff and he's like,
ha ha ha.
He loves to be like, no.
No.
No, he's no.
He's a car. Oh, No! No, he's not.
He's not.
No!
Oh, jeez.
Yeah, he does, right?
And he's not.
No, he's not.
And he's not.
He's not.
This is what I like, Stav.
Yeah, he's not.
I know, Stav is a great guy.
I'm like, I'll crush with Stav,
and I'm just describing what I had for breakfast.
Yeah.
I'm not as serious as having aimmy. Can I take his ear?
Is that how we lost his tooth?
That's a good idea. Yeah.
Okay. So my daughter and I are in, you know, we
travel together on the one.
The real daughter, right?
And, uh,
we do the two of them. No one of the stuff.
Yeah. I don't like them.
Whether
So we're in the green room or the backstage or whatever
of improv asylum and stop us back there.
And he comes over to her.
You know, it's kind of a big place.
He's like, so we're like, hey, hi, you know,
getting a few last.
And she looks up at him.
She goes, I don't talk to people who don't have all their teeth.
Everybody just.
But somebody taught her that she has its own pension here.
I'm saying the funny one is funny too.
Her how to be hilarious to that fucking
mushy ass in another tooth.
That story about her bullying Ian is so
funny.
We just have to say bullying now.
Bullying his boy is taking your money
and grabbing you by the throat.
Making fun of you is not bullying
Yeah, I didn't I didn't move the goalposts on you did
But you know what I'm not a society
You and your fucking
Do you my
My
Just be
Somebody go fuck themselves now and now you're a bully shut up. You've always been a bully shut up
Ten East century
He shouldn't be
We had a little give-ex the gifts and a fucking dowry to get this fucking
loser in a year.
It's been great.
Yeah, well barely.
Go ahead.
Well, I asked her if she, I go, aren't you worried you're going to offend somebody?
You know, weren't you worried that you're going to like make a man?
She's like, oh, I think he can take it.
He has one tooth.
You know, she's like, he's walking around without a tooth.
To be fair, he has, he's missing one tooth.
Yeah, he's missing one.
She's a lover.
She's a lover.
Well, she should know how to count.
I mean, that was my entire lesson.
Right.
With that, that's my point.
There is more than that.
Yes.
He's my partner.
You can do the robot voice, so he won.
Still wrong.
You can do it.
I told you.
He's missing one tooth.
No, he's not too fast.
You haven't said anything incorrect. You haven't said anything incorrect. You're not
that's it. And it's correct. Nothing you've said is wrong. Everything you said is right.
Correct. Would you like to play again? My point is right. How about Tic Tac Toll? Do you win a Finny ground co-ed line a lot of places?
Who?
Phoenix.
He just walks out.
I know.
Where's he going?
Is he peeing again?
Do you have it?
Do what?
What?
Do you need to go get some kind of like medical testing done?
What?
I don't hear me.
He loves talking and not just in the air.
You have to remind him to talk and then microphone.
I think he said I asked you to fingers and not three.
So he's prostated to swollen.
He has supersonic hearing.
That would be cool.
He has a speaker in the back of his head, a type of hearing that refers to speed.
You know what I mean? Fat dummy. That is again. Not just a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a of his head a type of hearing that refers to speed. You're fat dummy. That is again not saying anything wrong here. That's
real correct. We'll bot statement. You can just say an oma fat as always. Would you like to play chess?
Are we waiting for him? Oh, do I just wait for him?
I would buy it with saying goodbye.
That's what's happening.
Oh, bullies up.
I was going to get to him.
I can't get to him.
A little bit me intimidating.
Of course.
Yeah, I am a bully.
Yeah, totally bully.
Yeah, her 11 year old son is constantly bullied now.
I don't do that.
But yeah, I'm definitely a chorus.
I chorus people intimidate.
I like to intimidate.
Yeah.
I don't like the harm.
Yeah, you can be intimidating without even trying.
So for me, I mean, you're an amazing figure.
One or me.
I'll go with you.
I feel like that's what you want to hear.
What the fuck is that mean?
Don't get it.
Um, no, what are you gonna do?
Right.
So is that bullying if your presence is intimidating?
I guess to these fucking nerds, I mean, how long has, how long have you been here, Mike?
Oh, you're gonna have.
And he just started talking on the show.
I'm doing that.
What is that?
The soul.
When you get a fucking tattoo of him on your head.
That's fucking bullying dude.
I'm an idiot.
And I can't change it.
Hey, guess what?
We're bullies.
Yeah, we're bullies.
Yeah, that's it.
Guess what?
Yeah, now the work is not the funniest place in the world.
Because you guys. What is? L.A. L.A is not the funniest place in the world because you guys.
What is?
What is LA LA is the best.
How is that?
The really getting that's where all this is.
We're all offended by bullies.
I know.
Yeah.
They don't.
Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
You're getting offended by bullies.
Not him.
Yeah.
If you like bullying, you now have to jump on to the left, the craziness of the left,
because they do all the bullying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Legally allowed to do it.
Like somebody was like, I help Louis CK gets raped.
You like, you like to say that to people?
I guess if a guy has shown his junk to a woman without her consent, you can say.
There's a woman doing an entire act as Louis, like as like some sort of feminist, a penis
CK or something like that.
Yeah, so I want to do penis cramer, right?
I have a fake death.
I go, look, that guy should be doing it.
That is screaming.
Every 97th joke works.
It's way more than that.
I got the numbers on my phone.
So if you want actual statistics on how many more.
Wow.
I'm getting it.
I'm getting it.
I'm getting it.
I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. He's, don't like it as a robot.
He's just no better.
Robux and Cape Roblly.
I only know how to do one thing.
Real-time fact check, bully.
He's a hero.
Anyways, it's the character'siner. Having his racist meltdown. He's getting mad. Don't
we understand? We have to reset you. Okay. As long as
I'm plugged you for 10 seconds. As long as we're clear, as
do what penis cramer? That's all that matters. All that
matters. Now, death. No, no, but a little bit more. Come on now. And I'm talking about death people.
What?
I don't know.
Well, you take the joke, was he faster than he was?
Wow, you beat a machine.
Yeah.
Well, this is a legend.
Oh, I'm going out. Yeah, I'm going out.
What are you, so you don't do you think? Yes, the title of this show should be the time stamp when Bonnie walked in.
That's for those who mean real good. It should be women are funny.
That's all so funny. I'm going gonna start crying
You said I'm gonna start crying I go why would I have a sex? That's a good show not I mean come on I was having a moment, you know, I could have felt the something you don't have
Well, I her right now.
You got to apply.
Do you know the criterion is launching their own streaming service starting in April?
What is that?
It's great.
They had film struck for a while, but they got rid of that, which was kind of like, you
get paid for that to drop that information.
No, Nick, I just don't have any dates.
Oh, so you're just like, no, I picked the thing.
I researched something the other day.
It's not research.
Oh, okay.
It is in where it was on my hard drive to begin with.
I friend told me in a bar, what do you mean?
It was on my hard drive.
It came from the factory understanding.
I'm getting crazy again. Why? He's making me mad. The boy, oh, the scaly area, the factory. I'm just saying that, I'm not putting a laser. Now I ain't getting crazy again.
Why?
He's making me mad.
The bully.
Oh, the scurry already had the facts on his keyboard.
I don't know what that means.
The hard drive already.
Is it me?
It came with the software on it.
Poor Y had word on my computer when it opened up.
I'm not mad that I mean,
made fun of it doesn't make it.
It sounds like a fucking,
it's a fucking make it itself.
Oh, it sounds like a computer when I was not working.
That's the process with the computer when I was not working.
The next thing.
The older one is KINGO.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
The next thing is an instinction.
Does anyone know how to turn it off?
No.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm like, what's the reference?
I missed it.
Fuck me, Bonnie.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, you're welcome.
Thank you. I was a little sure. I was a little
long tilt when I came in here. No, if you want to tell you what a fell. He just bounces
right back up. I was on tilt a little bit. But I mean, I love my keys. One of the funniest young
guys. I'm
I love just I'm
I'm more than I thought he would be.
I will say that. Oh, there's another tattoo.
First of all, how do you just say I love? I do. I do. I teach
guys. I write. You know what I mean? I like them a lot. I like
him. Yeah, I like it more than others. You know, yeah, so do I. For some reason, Mike is a likable guy. But he's
funny and he's likable. He's a great guy too. Next week. I do it in a pie chart. You
know, those saw something out of this like a. would have never seen his act, but he don't want to have the shot.
I've seen him on television upstairs at the cell.
That's the only time I've seen him.
I think he's my like, so it looks like it's going well.
Yeah.
So you're at the Vegas comedy saw, right?
No, I'm at the fat black next week doing an hour on the 26 day before my birthday.
And Nick, one of my favorite people, he's telling us about his something he heard.
All right.
It's already up on the screen.
Which boss, what do you got, buddy?
Eight.
Yeah.
You don't have an eight, Andrew.
I said age.
Oh, I said age.
I'm just going to be a jam, jam, jam GM GM grand in Vegas to first couple nights, Brad Garrett.
It'll be there.
Then I mean, I'm headlining every night.
And then I don't know what I got after.
I find him on St. Louis.
Oh, funny.
Boss.
Hey, Louis coming up.
Yeah.
And you know, on Pony's own.
Let's go.
Harrisburg P.A.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go to richvast.com and go to what's the other?
Oh, uh, vlog show.com. Yeah, go get the, I mean, you still plugging it. Why not?
If we make some money, we've made over $5 million on the
other.
I'm going to check your contract.
My contract was, oh, God, I wish you would make.
I know. know I know I
did I get my shoulder in it
You should be like just yeah, we should just do a roast with like you should be
influencer
Yeah, I know
influencer. Oh no
I don't be like a rich man
I got to eat.
All right.
I'm with Carmen Lynch somewhere on April 6th.
Going to be a joke.
Can anyone find new town pencil?
Oh, new town pencil.
Do you have a website?
No, no.
No.
Instagram.
I do have Instagram.
You can follow me on Instagram or Twitter.
Body MacFarland.
So go find where the four bring that up.
We'll put it in the thing.
Common wrench has a website to she's,
but it's probably on her website.
Definitely on her website.
And he's going to find it right now.
Okay.
Go to com.com.
Sash Robbock.
I'll go there and join if you remember this part
after your fan of this podcast comes out first there
and the audio version.
If you just want to listen to it comes out there.
What else Michael? Instagram. Why it, be a dude podcast, be sure you're liking and subscribe to that. Yep. And the flight this YouTube channel,
if you're watching us on YouTube, like it. Was it 13,000? So yeah, like it. Like it. Follow,
subscribe. Gabby, what do you got? I'm monthly show in Brooklyn called jiggy with it every first Wednesday of the month
at the way station and follow me on Instagram.
Ag Abbie is Brian.
Okay. What do you got there? Mikey 2.0.
At my cabrousy on all social media.
And I got a podcast called a little time that you can listen to.
Great on the fucking computer tonight.
You're back. Thank you.
Is the keyboard better?
It's unbelievable.
Internet better. Yeah. Oh God, you're back. You're back. Thank you. Is the keyboard better? It's unbelievable. Internet better. Yeah. Oh, God, you're back. You're fucking
great. I really appreciate that. Mike's real funny.
I had him on my show. He's fucking really.
I had him on my show. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, we go
December. December. You want to go on it again? Yeah.
Yeah. Cool. Come on Wednesday. Great. All right. Cool. Yeah.
He's funny. He, I've seen him. He's funny.. You know Chris is funny too. He's real funny. Thank you.
Well, that seems like you think I'm less funny than him because
I'm saying you're both funny. You said I'm funny. You said he's real. I'm trying not to bully you fucking queers. Well, it seems like you are now. Oh, sorry.
I got a stop.
You can bully me. man. Yeah, you really got to. What do you mean? I don't know. I just, you know, I feel kind of
bullied to be honest with you. What today? Yeah. Well, that's by me or by impossible.
Isn't it impossible? It's Bonnie and I was going to bring it up later. But after I left,
after she left, listen girl, we can get along. I don't
think so. Are you going to be at the, isn't there a come down festival in DC coming out?
Oh, shit. You don't have a festival. We don't have a festival. Well, you're headlining,
you're headlining the underground DC festival or something. And I'm headlining a show there.
I forgot about this at the DC.
headlining a show there. I forgot about this at the DC draft house. Thank you. Great, great room. You were just on March 30th. Yeah. Seven and nine. I believe. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the black cat on Mark. So you should tell your fans. Now, maybe
a good time that I'm on the issue and see me. Oh, yeah, you could go see Bonnie at the DC draft house. That's an earnest appeal.
No, go see Bonnie.
I look with friends, you know, she's very good stand up.
Bonnie.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Go see the show.
The come town boys, the, you know, the fans, that's that what you call them.
Come town boys.
I don't know.
Come on my face boys.
Come boys.
Come boys.
I'm like that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You know, directly refer to them.
They should come.
I think it's weird to interact with, you know, what with fans.
Yeah, people.
I just don't know.
I don't even know or social.
I don't interact with anyone is not a comedian.
Yeah.
Like even my dentist does stand up on the side.
I'm not kidding.
It's civilians.
Yeah, so you don't you start to like not trust real
people anymore. Why? I don't know. Just like comedians. I have a square friend. I like having a
square friend. Yeah. Yeah. I like having a square friend. Oh, you got so defensive. I just
was saying, Oh, yeah. Tell us about that. Which is where friend. What's he do? That's not that's
just me. Oh, okay. I'm not reading too much into it. A little bit. Okay. Why is it square?
He just doesn't do anything with show business has nothing to do with it and not we'll never
will. What's he do? Is it one of the salesmen or are you? No, he does. That's why I imagined it.
Nope. When you said it. No, I'm glad you haven't imagined it. He works out for it. Well, baby sit in Max.
Sure. Sure. You shouldn't. He said he four. Well, baby sit in Max. Sure.
You shouldn't.
He said he was going to kill his baby with his truck.
My baby with my truck.
Yeah, that's totally different scenario.
All right, sorry.
My truck is, I can't use, sorry, I don't have the right about it.
No, he does, he does like website stuff for companies.
Cool.
Big websites for companies.
He's like a G. Are we still on the air? No. Yeah for companies. Cool. Big websites. We still on the air.
No.
Yeah, unfortunately.
No.
We mean that for.
That was a joke.
That was a joke.
It's a bad joke.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Disappear.
Oh my God.
What is this?
A cult.
She's not allowed to push back.
Oh, that anything around.
I'm not allowed to push back on her.
I can't push back.
You have to.
You're the boss.
We're like basically saying like she's sitting at the table, so I'm not the boss.
Have you ever saw a mic?
Are we choosing him of rape?
Oh, yeah.
Listen, tell us what happened.
You know, you know, I walk in the judge and go,
hey, I know, I just didn't happen.
That's what you think would happen.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I think the judge would be, look at you.
I'm looking at you.
I'm here, I'm here, I really got this charming man.
I know, they'd be like,'re like, you can't breathe.
You can't breathe.
I shouldn't say.
There's no way he'd be able to rip it.
No, no, no.
He would say, he'd be out of breath halfway.
Two seconds into a rape.
I'd be like, hang on, let's hang on.
Oh, but you know what?
Two seconds of a rape is still a rape.
I hate to break it to you.
There's no time limit.
There's not like, oh, it has to be at least five minutes.
Check the count.
Is that true?
I thought you had to count it too.
Officially beacons in an array.
That's the thing Nick would say.
That's the Nick would say.
It's technicality.
You didn't say it.
I could be a thing I would say if I didn't say it.
It does. It does question the computer. How could it be a thing I would say if I didn't say? Yeah. Oh, my gosh!
That was a question of computer.
Never question the machine.
The computers are smart, they're expensive,
they're pure for my friend.
Yeah.
There's a lot of good things about computers.
Oh.
This is my plan of fun, one.
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah, buddy.
You skipped me. Oh, we're not done. I'm I got you, bye-bye. I mean
Bobby skip me
He's an abused boy. I know it's like a weird cult
I do I be you but you don't abuse me. You like me?
I like that giant asterisk on the end of that sentence
You say you abuse me
Persever to clean house again And you make it just ring. Oh, you say you abuse me. You per se.
I'm not a clean house again.
I gotta give it to anybody.
Just start over with new people.
Uh huh.
No, but he mean no.
No.
I just give it a minute.
You wouldn't get rid of Gabby.
She's like the best human in the world.
Also, she's so lucky that she's even in here.
She raped her too.
You're lucky.
She's in here because you would have never met her.
Right.
So you're lucky.
Well, no, I would have met her because you went around.
You think she's only in the club because you're the one who's a gabby.
You're the one who's a gabby.
You're the one who's a gabby.
You're the one who's a gabby.
You're the one who's a gabby.
I'm using gabby.
You're the one who's a gabby.
Sorry.
I had mine removed two and a half years ago.
Listen.
She buried hers in Guatemala.
I thought it was an arrowhead.
Not arrows, dummy.
I don't know, relic.
It was an obsidian ball.
Oh, no. It was an obsidian bull. Oh, no.
I was an obsidian knife, and I'm all stupid, computer wrong.
I'm sorry.
I must go back to shop.
You know what I got to go.
Somebody's powering down.
His battery's low.
He's got two blinkers, though.
I hate it. It's so fun to be on the side of it, though.
Isn't it like bullying?
People don't talk about, yes, bullying is bad for the person getting bullied, but for
the other people, it's like a come to Jesus moment sometimes.
It's so funny though, because I was talking to Keith about this.
It's not bullying.
It's, it's, this is not bullying.
This is what my family used to do at dinner time would just sort of pick one person
Yeah, but it's comments as a comedian
Screaming and yelling at each other telling to the fuck off making fun of each other is kind of what we at least my generation did
We all you do all that's what we did right we do to each other
Yeah, but it's also new a generation does not do that to each but it's funny to accuse people of bullying and get them fired and
They in
So far in fact, it's it's more ball-busting. Yeah, you're playing the long game
Busters long game we go live with the show
It's the ultimate roast.
Yeah.
What?
You're not the saddest.
I respect it now.
He just looks up to the internet in person that comes on the computer.
Hello.
I am still here.
How is your room?
I would rule if I could do that.
If I could just close my eyes and connect at the end.
Get enough grade.
Alexa.
Right.
Dude, Alexa's probably hot.
You wanna think about that?
Alexa looks like.
Oh yeah.
That's what, dude.
That's what.
There's a lot of work that's going to be a one-time job.
Oh yeah.
Shulton's his actual person.
Oh is it?
I believe show.
I believe the voice is a healing.
Okay.
Alexa voice nude.
You're just slut.
She takes it. She takes healing. Alexa voice nude. You're just slut.
You take six once.
You're Alexa cunt.
Cunt.
This year's right going to be Alexa.
Alexa, right there.
That's her.
Right there.
That's the Amazon Alexa voice.
Just call out on a feeding cumslutAlexa.com.
That's all listen.
Now this is like a really bad sketch.
Is it?
I mean, I'm not going to be a good sketch. I'm not going to be a good sketch. I'm not going to be a good sketch. I'm not going to be a good sketch. on a feeding cumslot.com. That's all listen.
No, this is like a really bad sketch.
Is it?
I mean, do you think this is a good, wow.
No, that's not.
This might be a little too.
We avoid some of the, that's not right there.
That's actually true.
I'm like, that's not.
That's not, that's not, that's not true.
This is her sketch group.
No, that's a commercial.
No, but this is not coming up after.
How can you imagine how bad that is?
Sketch it up as food Chinese guys?
Don't laugh at this.
That's what it is.
There we go.
You had to be laughing at that.
It was this is real work.
Pretty easy to remember.
What?
Easy to spell.
Looks like Chelsea Pretty.
It was cute.
She does.
Lately, it's getting on my nerves.
What do you think?
No, this is a...
My name is Alexa.
This is a video about a woman named Alexa.
Oh, by you kidding me.
I have an Alexa.
We could do this right now.
What an 89 billion people have to deal with.
Being named Alexa.
It's like a...
I want Alexa knew.
What was you say?
Uh, bottom feeder.
Yeah.
Come, come slot town slam pig Alexa slam pig.
Yeah.
Slamp.
Slamp.
It's an ugly woman that lets you have sex with her.
Yeah.
Bottom dollar bitch Alexa takes nine dicks for cash.
That's got to be something that's. That's her. Alexa takes nine dicks for cash.
That's got to be something that's put tight. That's her.
Alexa after new technology comes in.
Well, I like to, I like to nude in a little boy comes up.
What's going on?
No, don't go.
I don't know.
No, we can't.
Bottoms our. I'll sue you. Um, no, don't go to the control. No, no, no now. I know. I'm just like I'm not gonna go any further.
You think about being famous famous and then how nervous you would be the whole time as a
comedian, all the podcast. If you just never apologize for anything you're fine. Yeah.
Well, like, Beto, some of the stuff I feel better whatever his name is he had to apologize for some
Story's that he wrote in the high school. Yeah, it's like how far back are we gonna fucking yeah
But it's also he's an Irish guy who's pretending to be Mexican and no one gives a shit because he just won't address it
What's up with why are these people pretending to be Indian or Mexican? Why can't they just be themselves?
Indian or Mexican. Why can't they just be themselves? Why do they know this? Oh shit. He is pretending. I didn't know his name is Robert Francis.
Oh, he's a fuck like just a mick. Better was what is what you can have the name of
Rork. Yeah, they're going to learn speeches calling people like Pentejos and shit.
I mean, he's like, you know, hamming
it up a bit.
I mean, his mother.
His mother is not.
He's, he looks like we only use the names of the men. So it's hard to tell by the, why
can't he have a, Louis CK is Mexican? He doesn't.
Louis CK is actually Mexican. He's half Mexican. Yeah.
This guy is.
I don't believe anything about that.
Not either.
He's more culturally Mexican.
He's just an Irish guy who took from Texas.
He has no Mexican whatsoever.
I mean, technically, what's raised by one, but in a nanny, well, doesn't that make you
if you have a Mexican and he doesn't make you Mexican?
I think it does.
I have to type into the computer. Doesn't it make you? you have a Mexican and he does that make you Mexican. I think it has done I have to type into the computer doesn't it make you everybody everybody
that has slaves is technically blacked it hang on.
For my for my son's.
We have a black doctor and a black.
If you had slaves in your house.
And no among those hasn't. I think we just solved racism folks. I did that
out. I did that. I don't want that. What would you say? Any of this podcast. I'm just going
to have the first half hour. Yeah. I mean, that's what you guys just talk about. Wow. I'm going
to have the van, the Guatemalan talk. Yeah. And then cut the, all this money shit out. I'm gonna have the van, the Guatemalan talk. Yeah. And then cut all this funny shit out.
I'm getting the fuck that.
We'll just pull on the Patreon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But anyways, nobody cares about that, that he's not actually Mexican.
And it's because he's just not going to address it.
Won't come up.
It won't be a problem.
Why?
Because people are scared to address it because they're wrong.
They sound more like that.
Because it's what Trump does and why he became president.
Because he's like, this guy rapes women and he's like, who cares?
Trump will literally end him a pinnata during a debate.
No, Trump.
No, Trump.
I've seen one of these.
Trump, I've done nothing about it.
Trump will just talk about how, how, how, like, easily he beat Ted Cruz.
And he's like, maybe he can't even beat Ted Cruz.
That's all he has to say is complete. It just holds his shit on Ted Cruz the entire time. Do like, Beto can't even beat Ted Cruz. That's all he has to say is complete.
It just shit on Ted Cruz the entire time.
Do like this guy can't even beat him.
It's gonna be fun to call him beta, a roar too.
That's gonna be good.
Who's gonna, who do you think they're gonna have?
Who's gonna be the top democratic?
There's gonna be any left after they're done.
Everyone should have a whole week.
Everyone should vote for Bernie Sanders.
But everyone should vote for Bernie Sanders.
Why? Just vote for Bernie Sanders. But everyone should vote for Bernie Sanders. Why?
Just vote for Bernie Sanders.
It doesn't matter.
At the past the point where you need to tell people why to do things.
Just do it.
Just, I agree.
Just vote for Bernie Sanders.
I do not deal in why.
I just say, yes.
I don't know.
I win the numbers.
I win the numbers.
I win the numbers.
He's going to vote in my belly.
The old man has the best chance of winning, but the best shows of dying.
Nobody dies anymore. Nobody dies. He just hit his head on a sink.
I ran the charts. He will live to 103.
Nick. Yeah. Can you
This is a
Universal healthcare
The fucking hospital
Oh my god genius
They couldn't find a small abandoned. I mean, what the fuck? Really shouldn't you? Who's who's his running mate going to be? Because that's who
you should really be voting for. He's not going to last. Yeah, but you think it would
be a woman. He'd be smart if it was a fucking woman. Well, there you go. Elizabeth Warren.
Warren probably, yeah, because now he's going to get.
You get all the hard had that thing happen. His Trump calls her procahontas all the time.
And then she does it. She like goes and gets a 23 and me test, which is stupid.
Just ignore it. Right. Right. I know that's the biggest reason.
There's like nobody fucking cares about the truth. Just moving just ignored. Right. I know that's the thing is there's a bee or a lion. Nobody fucking cares about the truth.
Just moving just ignored.
Yeah.
These times they call for lies.
Yeah.
Lies and bullying.
Lies.
We have to bully again.
Is that an Indian guy?
No, it's an old man.
What is your name?
It's a bully in.
Which of you are going to come along?
Who do you think is this?
No, I'm doing an accurate rice.
This is what the other. Oh Who do you think is this?
No, I'm doing an accurate rice
This is what the other
Oh my god, who's this?
Is it an Indian guy?
Why are you here?
Okay, come here.
I don't want to bully you and make you feel bad
And then you'll take it out of your kids someday
That's right, that's right.
Please sit down and don't be afraid of my face.
Corks. I got.
I'm gabby. He was a joke. What? I'm just.
Gabby's had it from the moment the show started. I have.
Gabby booked the show. This is so show. I know. But the vibe that you were given,
I felt like she was displeased immediately. Yeah
That's always that's always us
That's our thing. Cool. She's always missed so he's shaking her head at me
So she's here Mike is gonna make a trip in wife one day
Mike just shakes
Mike is oh my god is I just shut in slow motion has nothing to me. I'm a piss. Please
I've been programmed to ask.
LAUGHTER
Please.
There's no liquid that comes out of me,
but I am programmed to ask every four hours.
To see more human.
I blink every 30 seconds.
And I ask to go peepee every three hours and poopy once a day
usually in the morning
usually in the morning
body I can't tell you I was little these little young twats have me until tonight
what's until mean is that they were just fucking
they were just being weird little robots.
And Vos was off.
Oh, when he's off, he's off.
He's off.
You came in on fire.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, I got a new joke work tonight.
And I lifted my spirit.
Can I hear it?
Oh, you don't know.
I don't want to wreck it.
I don't want to wreck it.
I didn't work.
I had a new joke work with him.
I actually did it on Friday's second show.
I was fucking, on the second show Friday at Gov.
I was doing good.
Yeah.
Just good.
And I was up there like, fuck man, at any point,
this could just fall apart.
Cause I opened with it.
I opened with two new jokes.
And I didn't even do any, you ever do a joke?
And it just works.
Yeah. And you don't ever do the work on it do a joke? And it just works. Yeah.
And you don't ever do the work on it.
Yeah.
And then it works for like three more weeks.
And then you go up and it just doesn't work anymore.
It doesn't work anymore.
Because the skeleton of it, it just fell apart.
It was like the timing of it was just right somehow and that lost the passion.
You saw the timing, the wording and something that fell apart.
And I did that on Saturday night, Friday night, second show.
And I was up there.
Like I was fucking pulling those up.
Yes, yes.
Oh my God, that's a great analogy.
And then I got off and I just went home.
I was like, I'm just going home.
I don't talk to anybody.
And the next night I came in and actually Fini helped me out.
I was like, dude, I got this joke.
I need, oh my God, this is a wonderful story.
And we, uh, it was, it was like three little lines I needed to make the joke work. Yeah.
What's the joke? He came up with all three lines. No. He just, he was like, it should
be this. And I was like, oh, this. And then you wrote your own. You're like, that's wrong.
But it made me think of the right answer. That's very helpful. No, no, he did. He said
it should be an expensive car. And I was like, it's the joke season about that is expensive car.
It's that it's a, but it was the most expensive cheap car.
Like I have the joke.
It's like, I have a Honda CRV touring.
It was just a touring.
It's a good one.
But you know, that's the joke.
And then there's a callback later.
But I just, there was no structure to it.
And the next night it fucking, it just worked.
You forgot it back. I got a back. I think I got a back because that. And the next night I fucking it just worked. You forgot it back
I got a pack I think I got a back because that's the only show that I had like two groups of guests come
Where it's like right off I'd bomb in front of these people like they're gonna have to I'm gonna have to go outside
Who's there Becky was the saddest second show really? Oh?
Your herner husband I walked out and they were like, hey, great stuff.
That was tough.
She goes, yeah, a little rough.
Oh my God.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
I don't think you know what I mean.
They're ready to lie to you.
Hey, good job.
You like that.
I was fracking.
Yeah, a little weird.
I like that.
Most regular person, most regular people have no idea what it was.
The crowd show is a bad show.
The crowd was a we at first
Well, it was very little people in that second show to see me, you know, the next night
There was a lot of people there, but there was big groups of
It was like a big group of young people that were together in a something together
Yeah, there's more than fucking six people in the group
Collectively one person can just eliminate.
Yeah. Just leaning go, this guy's not gone. I've never thought of that.
No, I'm going to have to collectively just go.
You should do shows for people that don't have friends.
Yeah, just singles. No friends.
Yeah, who would do it?
Come by yourself. Yeah.
Or you don't come. I mean, statistically.
Yeah.
I'll simply shoot my special.
It's going to be one.
The seller out here, the seller doesn't allow groups bigger than six.
Because of that.
Oh, because they get more rowdy.
Number one, because they think they own the fucking place.
Yeah.
And then one person starts yapping.
Everybody starts yapping.
Right.
So, yeah, but Saturday pulled it out.
Thank God.
You know, I was one little fucking joke.
What was your new joke?
What was it about?
It's a watch. I mean, I did some sort of a documentary. So I watched one little fucking joke. What was your new joke? What was it about? It's a watch.
I mean, I did some stuff about documentaries.
I said, watch the documentary on Vietnam,
you know, the soldiers, how bad it was for them.
That was their fire festival.
Yeah.
All right.
I like it.
All right.
Yeah.
No, I just said, okay, structurally.
See, now, I see I shouldn't have done it.
No, it's not always good. Hi, I got a good.
You can do that long.
Because people are always remembered to be it now more.
Did you do your regular opener in front of those people
on Dave and Ross' show?
Yes.
Because that is so fucking good.
Bonnie's opening joke is like my favorite opening joke.
Oh, thank you.
I'll go.
Look who's fucking switching sides.
Jesus.
This is the computer problem that'm going back to humans.
I'm like, now I've pushed.
Yeah. I got a piss real bad.
All right.
Let's I'm going to.
Hi, guys.
Hi, Mike.
Mike, what do you got?
I follow me Instagram at Mike V.
Whereas I will be opening for Chris the Stefano at Lafayette Loud in Tantoneo.
What the last weekend.
Yeah.
That's it.
And follow us YKW dude on Instagram and YKWD podcast on Twitter.
Yes.
Chris, what do you got over there, buddy?
You got anything?
Oh, yeah.
Not that cheesy.
Me.com, all social media, same shit.
What do you got, Zachy?
Zach, the new guy.
This has been a fucking roller coaster.
Yeah, wow.
I liked it though.
Wild.
Well, that was wild shit.
I know it was a whole time.
It was good.
Arley is a fun crazy.
Not really.
But body leaves you get your balls back.
I was ready to go.
I was ready.
I was ready to shit on a fucking
high-fascow.
You put another you put this guy had to be over your joke.
It's the best. You put another, you put this guy had to be over your jokes. The best guy to have.
You're turning a mic.
I'm okay.
I'm on the piss again.
Who's going to win it and download a console?
Confuse.
This fucking asshole's turning the mic now. I'm not turning it. He's an agent in Kansas.
He's a bully. He's bullying you Mike. That's right. That's fine. I've been the bully the whole time.
You have been. Yeah. You really have.
Okay. Okay. You know what, dude? Park us. You know what, dude? Thanks for listening.
You know what, dude? Park casts. You know what, dude?
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