Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mike Cannon, Greg Stone, Mike Vecchione | Double Booked
Episode Date: August 15, 2021This week Mike Cannon, Greg Stone and Mike Vecchione join a killer YKWD as we get into a guest host controversary, announce a NEW pocast, how having a child changes you, all while Greg and Cannon race... an edible to the episode finish line! Get the EXTRA 20 PLUS of YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hoy es un dÃa de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el dÃa.
¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene?
¿Sino por qué no te viene?
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso, que Madrid nos vÃa.
Hoy es un dÃa de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.
Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca.
Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado.
Por eso en Caisha Bank, ahora cuentas con un préstamo
para hacer realidad tus ilusiones.
Solicitalo desde el móvil, otra vez de tu gestor.
Informate en CaishaBank.es.
Caisha Bank, tu y yo, nosotros.
Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante
en el momento de la solicitud. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live.
Welcome, everybody.
It's the show.
YKW.
I started the social media podcast.
The fact that YKW did podcasts.
YKW did back again.
Old school, back in the day.
We're all starting before them all.
YKW did this podcast.
It's so fun and crazy.
And there's no rules.
Shut up, you all who in this. Break the bar. Damn it, man. I'm so crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you all winning this.
Work the ball, man.
I'm sorry.
It's not any podcast.
This is an NPR.
That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show?
This is the original original.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm here with two great guests. I also your guest
host Mike Cannon and I believe Ty goes to whoever's in the theme song. I well I believe I was
in the theme song. Were you? Yeah, you hear me. No, yeah, say welcome. I'm cool dude rock and roll.
Look at my body. I was what this podcast has no rules. Yeah, well what happened Mike
I'll let you be I'll let you double book double book. This is why KW. Yeah, you know what dude. Yes Robert F. Kelly who's not here
Who is not and if he was I would smack him across the face for trying a tear apart a friendship. Yeah, successfully. This is a power move to tear comedians apart.
When Bobby's not here, he does like to be,
what is it, spiral?
Is that the guy from Saw who just likes to throw out
little challenges to his,
to Jake Saw, right, to whoever, you know, comedians,
likes to throw a little piece of meat in between us
and someone who makes it out.
So he booked both of you and then went on vacation.
What a fucking move.
As hope. That's a power move.
Yes, it's a power move. Power move.
It's kind of dirty.
He said, he goes, he booked both of us as the host.
Just hosting as guest host.
And I don't know about you,
but I felt like I leveled up.
I came in, I thought I was like, oh wow,
what a nice thing for daddy to give me the keys to the car.
Listen, I remember the days when Soda would guest host,
when Janice would guest host Joe Liss.
And I was like, I'm next, baby.
I'm next.
Let's do this eventually.
You know, let's, let's, let's pop things off
with a big YKWD appearance.
And instead, instead, this is how we're going to do
a guest host like a duet.
See?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Welcome to It's Mike and Greg's We're Not Home,
too, and to the phone.
Yeah, no, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do,
I'm not gonna play his game.
Okay, I'm not gonna talk.
You're not gonna, that's it, you're out.
Okay, fantastic.
Well, I'm excited to be your guest host for the day.
I had never even been lobbed to me
that I was just a regular guest.
It was guest host first text.
We even fought over timing.
They really tried to get me in.
Because if they just like, yes,
you would, that's the end of the negotiation.
And Bobby, they don't call me for that.
No, that was Mike eight years ago.
Right.
Like then I'll come in, which is me now.
I'm just a regular guest.
Also, we have two hosts.
Neither one has brought in the guest. Oh, what? That's what Mike's not a good guest. Also, we have two hosts. Neither one has brought in the guest.
Oh, what?
That's what Mike's not a guest.
He's a brother.
Yeah.
And now where I go, Mike, Becky on the first.
Wait a minute.
Becky on the second goes.
We only go the same places now.
We are getting on.
We're getting on.
Great. Thank you for getting me in here.
And it's fine.
Well, let's welcome formally our guest, one of the greatest comedians, honestly of this
era.
Thank you. Mike, thank you. Well, thank you guys so muchians, honestly of this era. Thank you.
Michael, thank you.
Well, thank you guys so much for co-introducing me.
I love you're the only not host.
Yeah, I'm the not host and I'm not fighting for it either.
And I'm the only not Mike.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm pretty excited.
Three mics.
That takes my focus away.
There's three mics here, right?
Sorry, Neil.
Who's Neil? You know Brennan. He did three mics here, right? Sorry, Neil. Who's Neil?
Yeah, Brennan.
He did three mics.
Three mics.
Now we have four.
It's honestly the only logical progression to his show.
Oh, I'm waiting for everything you say to be an insult?
No, not at all.
Mike did notice though that I am wearing a history
hyenas t-shirt.
And I did wear this intentionally because I wanted to see,
I was perusing to see, I was
perusing my clothes and I was seeing what article of clothing would hurt the most people
in the room by wearing. And not only was this the biggest show on this network that just
basically stiff-armed Bobby on their way to success, inevitable breakup Nevitable breakup. But also, I think Mike was one of the heads
that they stepped on to get to their position.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Dima, though, tell me, brother.
No, Chris did no disrespect.
It was our podcast for maybe 12 hours.
What?
I don't know.
It was I mentioned it in hours.
And yeah, and then he was off to become a history of hyena.
Funny.
And then I was like, history podcast, this isena. Funny issue. And then I was like, history podcast is gonna be complex.
And then they're like,
Chas Pometarius Wild!
It's like, what the fuck are you doing?
It's got nothing to do with.
It's wild!
Oh, anything you say does eventually become history.
Here I, so it's all history.
What are you there PR guy?
Hey Mike, what did I say before the podcast?
Same team, same team.
Yeah.
Also, both Greg and I came in with a plan.
Right.
So my plan was Bobby, I just did, I helped co-host also,
Keltan Kelly earlier today.
It was a double day day.
Wow.
Yeah, it was pretty busy.
My utility guy, you're really fucking stepping it up.
That's right, it's either that or I have.
I'm sorry, but.
I'm not gonna implement him, I want a couple of minutes. Okay, I think you're great also. And you're a macaroni.
That's a rascal. Rascal. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's a hot new podcast that I heard about.
I'm excited for it. Yeah. Coming soon. I haven't listened to it. Coming soon. We're backlogging
a couple because we don't want the fans to get moist and not have a hard. And what we're doing
is we're also doing topical things
in back episodes.
Oh, that really is smart.
Do come out.
That really is smart.
I'm sure you about the past, the nostalgia.
Right, people want to be about nostalgic
about home-o-being kicked out of all.
Right, yeah, things like that just weeks ago.
Or a six-week history, I mean.
It's like, I love the 80s, but it's I love three weeks ago.
That'd be cool if you guys only recorded it while driving around Mohegan Sun in a scooter.
But my plan was to come in here and I know you're not a weed guy at all.
But Bobby, while I was doing Kelton and Kelly, was like,
don't do me a favor, don't do an edible for YKWD.
And I had never even thought of it.
I thought this was a big step up career wise.
I was very excited.
Yeah, right.
Step into the chair.
And now there's nothing I wanna do more
than taking edible with Greg.
Yeah, I mean, I'll do that.
And we'll play, we'll play Beat the Clock.
Right.
I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna say,
Bobby told you to guest host,
then you're the guest host.
I will take a kneel and I will just,
I'll just be really high.
Do you want a bite from the same box?
Yeah.
Okay, this is a hundred.
I'm going to take half.
You can do whatever you want.
Oh, 100 milligrams.
You're going to have to get me home, like.
We don't live in the same neighborhood.
Are you going to take a full 50?
I can sleep over.
Yeah, you can sleep over.
Ah.
No, no, no.
I'm going to need to.
50 will make me like cry.
Yeah. And I don't make me divorce my wife, because we make me do the things I've always wanted to do. Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, With a name like Sora. Yeah, never get up on your own supply. Japanese people are allergic to certain apple.
You keep it, are you half Japanese?
The other podcast I am, this is an inside joke
with no one even remembers about five years.
All right.
I'm trying to get caught up to speed.
So Mike, thanks for coming on the podcast.
Well, thank you guys for having me, whichever one.
It's a pleasure to have you on the health.
Thank you.
Yeah, let me ask you this.
Are you an emotional guy? Yes, you are. So do you actually cry? Yeah. Alone or is this a public show?
Right before this podcast, when I found out that the guests, those were, uh, no. Um, yeah, I will cry.
I cry. I when leaving Dan Soder, we just broke up our, um, our home, right to live with our, uh,
Katie's. And, um, oh, look and oh look at that both dating girls name Katie
That's awesome if the fans don't know if you've been living under our rock
We you're with kitty. I'm with a Katie and he's with the cake Kirk
Right he's with Katie right he's not like a Kirk. No, he's not come on man
I don't want to say her name because she is famous. Katie Kirk is wildly famous. I shouldn't have said that.
My bad.
Katie Kirk.
Who believed that?
Now you're talking about that.
We believe that?
The newscast.
You're talking about another Katie Kirk, who's the one who gave me a cup of coffee.
One cup of coffee, Katie?
Yeah.
Please, what's your name?
Anyway, this is what you get on Macaroni.
Yeah, this is what you get.
Fresh comedy. Fresh comedy. Fresh comedy. Anyway, this is what you get a macaroni. Yeah, this is what you get fresh
Fresh comedy fresh your past little parmesan
Incorrect statements. Go ahead. Sorry. Have you been overly emotion because I'm also my overly emotional moment Thank you for keeping us on track. I'm starting to see who the real guest host is now and
Greg you better don't fucking defy me because I'm gonna make a point here
I swear to god man you were supposed to have my fucking back on this.
I did have your back, but then you started fucking going AWOL.
I told you, you go AWOL sometimes.
Canon is fucking keeping us on conversation.
You know what? You're all over the place dude.
Take Roni Graskels is dead.
Yeah.
You left the podcast?
I killed it, but I'm back.
I can't do that to those eyes.
All right, because I was about to fucking ask Mike if he wanted it.
Would you do that? I know. It would be because about the fucking ask Mike if he wanted it. Would you do that?
I know.
It would be called, it would be called micaroni.
Micaroni podcast.
Yeah.
So funny.
Maybe you guys should do it.
All right.
Don't get vengeful.
It was just an idea.
It was a funny, it was a bad idea.
And it was a funny, we were laughing.
You know, who else are ideas?
Hitler.
And that's who you are right now.
Your podcast Hitler, you're destroying a race of emotions my emotions
Well, we were talking about emotions great segue Greg. We were talking about emotions and when I left
Soder I was just having breakfast on the other day and people people sometimes joke there like they're like
Oh, did it did was it hard leaving soda now you're living on your own and I look them right in their eyes and I go I cried in his arms
Crying right in his arms and they go well. yeah, you guys did live together for a long time.
And you just backpedal a little bit because they realize I'm serious.
Right.
Well, and it's not just that, but you guys had kind of the ideal, even romantic relations
side from, you know, I don't know how you got down physically, but just even sharing that
space and getting along the way you got along. That's like
That's better than that. Yeah, that's better than most women. You'll ever meet. Yeah, ever. Yes. God. It was great
So yes, I am emotional. Okay, that's right. Yeah, would you care to comment on how emotional you are? You are not emotional
I am a mom. You are a block of ice. You don't even smile at me anymore
You don't bring me flowers. You hardly talk to me.
That's not true. We're communicating all times randomly on text. Apparently this guy
text right. He's like, Hey, I just I text randomly sometime four in the morning. Hey, do
you want to do a segment? Yeah. So it's fun though is Greg will text me and then text
the same conversation we're having to me and say sorry wrong person.
Power move.
Like coming on a podcast and demanding to be the host.
Yeah.
So he works out his hot text on me, make sure it works.
Wait, when I said to you a real friend, what do you speak specifically yours?
What you're currently working on.
What you're currently working on.
Oh, my rap group.
Yeah, it's not a rap group.
You got a lot happening right now.
Are you really focused on macaroni rascals?
Are you gonna do this rap thing?
3% in everything right now.
I am 3% I have about 3% to get a macaroni.
But 3% of what I got is 100% of what everybody
in this room's got with a mic saw together got.
And you mic.
Holy shit, you're coming up,
some fucking crazy confidence.
My upset.
Shit.
Anyway, moving right along, what we saying?
I'm saying I'm high, I'm, I'm, I'm,
I'm, the edible works on me.
This is why I can't do this stuff.
It's that fast.
You just ate it.
Yes.
You're using it in an excuse.
Yeah.
My system burns through things at a, my body is a
fine-le-tune machine.
It burns through friendships.
You're a real cock in a head.
All right.
But I think Mike was asking since he's in the big chair,
are you emotional?
Well, I was actually, so emotional. I'm stable, I think, was asking since he's in the big chair. Are you emotional? Well, I was actually so emotion unstable. I think it's the word
I think this is how we do to make right grascals where it's just us and we have someone and we fight
And don't let this person talk
Maybe right
Yeah, right. Maybe right. Maybe right. Hamilton should be the third. Yeah.
He's the guy in my pocket.
That's a great idea.
It's just called fighting in front of the children.
And it's been a lot of fighting.
That's a different podcast.
I know, but we have a great rapport in terms of coming up with other podcasts.
It might not work.
Yeah, we got to know it.
It's important of doing it.
The very first podcast think tank where you come up with themes and it's almost like,
what was that?
Somebody made fun of family guy and how they come up
with their jokes.
I think it was probably South Park where it was like a
manatee that would swim randomly to two soccer balls
and it would compare to unlike things.
That's kind of what's happening.
So what was your question to me?
What?
Well, my question to you in terms of emotion was,
well, it just in terms of all of us,
because Mike, I don't, I would look at you
and not think you are openly emotional,
because you have this, you have kind of a very rough exterior
and just like, you know,
Rest in cop face.
Yes, 50s, dad, the neighbor from American beauty
who just so happens to be gay if you push him far enough,
but not outwardly emotion. With Greg.
Like a hitman.
Greg is about to have a kid.
Right.
You know, so is it a boy?
I don't know.
Is that even public knowledge?
I don't know.
I'm not going to decide when he's 30.
That's a good idea.
I'm not till he's 30.
That's good.
We're going to call him 3.57.
All newtch.
Neutral colors.
Yeah.
He's a 357 child being born in a story on October and he will be the number until he gets a certain age
And then he will pick his gender and he will pick his name and it is whatever he has done the best at
So that's cool if he's and sounds like you're kind of pushing a gender at him by calling him a he oh well
Yes, I would like him to be a he because I prefer men because they have bigger brown and women should all I would like to round all the women up
And start a war. Yeah, I would like to round all the women up
and start a war.
Yeah, I wanna go to the war physically.
All right.
Are there, are there, and because obviously
there are women that we can't take physically, you know,
you watch the Olympics, right?
You watch the Olympics in these ways.
It's a small box.
Greg doesn't think it's possible.
Oh, yeah.
Bring him in here.
Bring him in here.
And we'll set up it.
I would take, I'll fight any woman.
I would take a figure skater over you in a fist fight.
But you're saying straight fist fight.
Yeah, I can't beat anyone.
If we're bringing in cheating, I can take anyone.
Fist fight, street fight.
That's cheating allowed.
I mean, what cheating are you gonna bring in a table?
Showing them up in their house when they're asleep.
You know, cutting their breaklines.
Okay, you know, are you find a fight that's a
fight. It's a fight.
It's winter,
it's winter takes all life.
Okay, and so if that's the thing,
I'll win.
It's two in a ring, probably not,
unless, you know, you know,
I could, if I'm allowed knives or something,
or throwing a blowdark.
But they're allowed knives too, then.
Well, they're outknife somebody,
and they're pretty good with blades.
Right, you know, they can do a kick flip
and just slice your throat.
If it's anything goes all-win, that's solid.
Yeah, you know?
You ever see that hockey video?
I forget who it was, but it was a goalie in like the 70s
and he was still wearing the Jason mask.
And some dude like was on a breakaway
and he fell, kicked up his leg and slashed the goalie's
fucking throat and started spraying onto the ice.
Oh no, I never saw that.
Yeah, it's really troubling.
And I don't know.
What do they call that?
Dermutter by power forward.
Yeah, that's three minutes for murder.
Go in the box.
Go in.
There was a guy a few years ago, maybe like the past 10 years, that like someone fell
and got his throw by accident.
They ran out and they got him and he was saved.
But it was like he got the jugular. Oh shit.
And it was like, oh, you've got moments to live until like that.
He lived, but it was wow. Oh, we don't have to watch it.
Yeah. That's the one. Oh my God. Look at that spot.
I'm not looking. That's like, that's real deep up in there.
And it just started coming out. But you don't have to look what I was asking.
Deep up in there is Greg's middle name, by the way.
And there's new podcast.
Deep up in there.
Oh, okay.
You know what I get up in there?
Mm.
I push you, I guess.
Yeah.
Well, you must have at least once.
Not confident, rapper.
It's a funny.
Yeah, I'm up in the pussy, I think.
I ask them.
What were you gonna ask me?
What's the emotional thing?
Where are you going with this, Mike? I'm curious. Well, because you're gonna ask me? Yeah, what's the emotional thing? Where are you going with this, Mike?
I'm curious.
Well, because you're about to have a child,
I am surface emotional.
Once I had a kid, it was exponentially more.
So it's more than I ever thought
that is just constantly pouring in.
I have tears at the lip of my lids at all times.
The levies are weak, they're ready to go down
and just over anything or kid related to something.
Mostly kid stuff and like family stuff
or anything like that.
Like you see a bike, just know what he's on it,
you see a bike.
That was a boy.
That's for a boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
Should we be queuing up cats in the cradle for this?
Yeah, I think we should unless I would get us taken off
a YouTube.
Oh yeah, that would.
You can have, yeah, I almost had avocado.
I can have a cato this.
Yeah, please.
I can have a cato.
They should do this MTV avocado.
And that's where everyone comes on
to Cercobain to bang and made guacamole.
Yeah, that's what I was about.
But like, why?
Why did that change for you?
What's with the emotional shift?
I think it's somehow an expansion
of your ability to care.
And I think that's, you know, whatever cliche people say, you know, your
heart grows a million sizes and you suddenly care about something more than
yourself. And I do think that's actually kind of a gradual change. I expected
it to be an instant. Right. My focus and discipline as a man instantly
changed. Like that was immediate. I stopped drinking.
I was like 100% there for my wife,
got her whatever she needed was really a great partner
during the pregnancy.
Same thing early in the birth of my child as well.
Like really there the whole time,
shared duties, all that stuff.
But I think as he gets older and he's like expressing himself and his love for me,
which is so comedian, like it's like, yeah, I guess I'll love you once you tell me you love me.
It's like it is grown so much that it's overwhelming at all times.
Wow. Yeah. So I'm curious. I'm just curious where you're at with that. If you feel...
I mean, a minute she said she was pregnant,
I started crying and I haven't stopped crying,
I just don't show it anymore.
I've just been on, it's crazy.
I've always been wildly in touch with my emotions,
easy to let them go, but it's like, yeah, it's the same.
I mean, when I realized when she got pregnant was it,
I was actually able to kill myself the whole time,
and now I can't.
Yeah, it's like, now I can't. Yeah.
It's like, now I can't kill myself.
But fucking three weeks ago, I'd have been great.
Yeah.
That was an easy way out.
Well, now I've got to live for this thing.
We just talked about it.
And I don't know if this is a normal thing
that dudes go through.
But the moment I found out my wife was pregnant,
I couldn't stop thinking about dying.
Like, not that I wanted to,
I was trying to prevent it from happening.
For the first time in my life,
I didn't want to, like I actively didn't want to.
I kind of was like, take it or leave it at most points of my life.
But, minute, that happened I went,
my wife was gonna die in childbirth,
or I am clearly gonna die young,
and all my kid to look back on me is my podcast.
And I'm gonna do this like my world with my head and I remember that my life right he
did a movie where he was like doing videos. Yeah, it's like oh my kids you have to go
back and be like oh Greg did a very racist character. My father taught me about Japanese people
in a way I didn't want to see and that's all there. You're gonna raise your kid through
a podcast. I think that's awesome. That's a movie. With ads.
Leave the ads in.
Let him learn the hard way.
Yes.
That's why I'm talking more about this is so my son actually has examples of me loving
him and not just hate speech.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, animals aren't supposed to kick in that quick.
I do feel something already.
No, yeah.
And for me personally, it goes like 15 to 20 minutes before the march starts happening.
Oh, yeah.
You know, some people are like an hour or whatever.
But what I've been doing also from the city
since I've been driving in and out,
and it's kind of, it's an easy drive.
Usually from Brooklyn to Spots,
to the seller was like 35 minutes.
That's about without traffic,
the amount of time it takes me to get here as well.
To, you know, Upper East, Upper West,
it's exponentially easier obviously,
and then all those different places.
So it's not that bad of a drive,
but what I've been doing is pop in a full one of these,
a hundo piece.
When you drive.
And then getting in my car and playing beat the other one.
Wow.
Yeah, that's really crazy.
But it also isn't one of those things where it's like,
it's not like I'm all of a sudden 10 beers deep
and like I can't see anything.
But it's kind of meditative in the sense
that you have to stay composed.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
You have to control your mind
and you have to work to control your mind.
This is the thing I couldn't handle with edibles.
I couldn't control my mind.
And it's actually a good exercise
into mentally controlling yourself.
I read a note to myself, not even joking,
that says you did this for fun,
so that when I start to fully lose it,
I go, this is for fun, you will come back
and just grab it, just grab onto whatever you can grab on,
and you'll hold onto the table and go,
this is for fun, and I have to look at that thing
and go, it's like Momento.
But then you're drugged up, self, right, it's another note.
This is out of control.
Hahaha.
Whoever thought this was fun must have been out of
their fucking mind. It's receiving me on that one. Macaroni.
She can bake. But I think that's the same different macaroni every time. That was more
of a rigatoni. Yeah. It's a bull and ace. I'm hanging on it. What on? How'd she look?
She had a great, usually a bull and a's on her bull and a's
It's a post oriented pocket as a meat sauce
Rippling down the leg all right pasta cast pasta cast the pasta cast. Yeah. How has nobody done that? I gotta ask you a question. Okay. How have you never done an album called cannon balls?
Why would I because it's amazing cannon balls cannon ball cannon ball. Right also white cannon and balls
Okay, I pictured him like jumping into a lake like the one we were just at right with as a cannon ball and his dick is out
Well, no why because kids want to listen to it too you if you listen to a kid if a kid listen
It's abuse that is child abuse making a child underage. Oh my cast podcast is a child abuse. Making a child underage, as in my cast podcast is a child abuse. That's like his album, album.
Oh, your album, right.
Joe Liss said a good, uh, a good,
against me now.
No, I'm not.
I'm asking if I was trying to fit the idea.
I could see the comments.
Get Greg off this thing.
Now that's about all of the crazy,
don't worry, that's crazy, Greg.
Anyway, we got a reminder, he's loved.
Yeah, you are very.
You're loved, yeah? Do you not know that? I know I me he's loved. You are very. You're loved.
Do you not know that?
I know I'm loved.
Yes, you do, right?
I first of all know both of you love me.
Very much.
But when the host thing came in,
we were doing like a bit about like whatever.
And I don't like that fake energy even of like fighting.
So especially with the drug.
So I'm like, I gotta get out of that.
I gotta get out of that.
It's all positive.
We should all join hands a little bit.
I like that.
Right? This is good. Yeah. My bit. Yeah, like that. Right. This is good
This is nice. Yeah, like sands are still cold always right are you ice cold? Do you so you don't sweat? No, I do okay
But I've been I'm warring sweat from I right now. Yeah, no, I'm I'm doing I'm doing a steam now right time steam and then cold showers
Cold shower thing. Let me tell you this is why I love Mike. I he is. Breathe through it, dude.
You heard the indigestion.
Breathe through it.
No, I'm talking about cold showers.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought I heard a gas bubble traveling up his
empty.
Well, I'll tell you what, I bought Greg dinner
and he'd even fight me for the check.
Yeah.
That's a new thing I'm doing.
When someone goes, I got this.
I go, okay. He didn't even fight me. He goes, okay, I go. I want to treat you and he goes, it's a new thing I'm doing. When someone goes, I got this, I go, okay.
He didn't even fight me, he goes, okay, I go.
I wanna treat you and he goes, it's fine.
Thank you.
Wow.
I said, I deserve it.
I went, I deserve it.
I said, you owe me, you owe me, pal.
And I said, you're doing the tip, right?
I don't have any money and I'm not doing well.
Dude, you ever consciously work on something like that
and then the littlest comment
just takes the entire house of cards down?
Like I'm really working on confidence and self love
and being like not impressed with myself
but like confident about my ability and on stage
and feeling really good about it.
And I'm like saying shit to Sagalo
and I'm like trying to big up both of us
and I'm talking like you know
Grandios and he's like you're your own biggest fan aren't you
He took the win right out of it. That's not a friend. I don't know what that is. It's not a friend. Yeah
Yeah, that yes, I don't have a comment. I was just saying yes
I don't have more. I was just agreeing.
Do you know what I all know?
Can you believe, I'm gonna talk about Gregg
like he's not here right now.
But can you believe that?
No, that doesn't even reach for the check.
It doesn't even reach for his wallet.
Well, here's, I'm doing a thing.
Not even the customary like.
Because you buy a check.
Can I go?
Yeah.
Can I go?
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. And you're also my Canon today?
So I do a thing where someone I pay the check and then I got to do four hours of fighting with this people and they take away from the payment Right, so I think a gracious. Thank you
Yes, and then I write it down and then I do them something they don't know about
So I'll go to your house and you're gonna walk in and why is the floor swept because I broke into your house
And I and I'm gonna wax the floor at sleeping, and I'll try to be quiet.
Once you wake up and she screams
and the police are coming,
but that's for you, that's for you.
You know what I mean?
That's bad ass.
She slips and compound fractures,
they're echoing.
Oh my God.
Then I visited the hospital and I'm like,
how did this happen?
Too much goddamn Mr. Clean on the floor.
Yeah.
We did just spend some time together though.
Yeah, we did, which was lovely.
And I remember telling you, I pulled you aside
and I went not really aside, but you were leaving.
And I was just like, not, I'm not drinking.
I'm not doing anything, right?
So I'm just like a lot of hanging out.
Yeah.
And mostly with Katie, but sometimes Katie
was out talking to other people.
And I was just hanging out, just watching the festivities,
watching people dance and this and that.
So I'm watching, now I'm gonna talk about you,
like you're not here.
So I'm watching Canon with his wife.
I'm like, and I know their story.
I know they've been together since childhood
and I know they have a child to get,
like all this stuff, and I'm just watching them together.
They're interactions, they're non-verbals
because I can't hear.
And I'm like, this is so beautiful.
It really is a beautiful thing.
You know, you see something you go,
oh, these guys haven't figured out, man. They haven't figured out. There's a lot of love, but it's kind of like an
it's an effortless love where they're just like, all right, baby, I'm in a dance in a little bit
together. It's like, I just back up, which is the non-verbal. It just seemed fun and effortless
the entire time and like a deep knowing of each other. Very intimate, but light, fun, effortless.
I got you, you got me, I know you super well,
and we love each other.
And it's just, it was such a good feeling coming off
that I had to pull them aside and tell them.
And you're saying that because you see
that I don't have it with my wife.
Actually, I've been to your home several times.
Haven't seen your wife.
And she works from home.
I haven't seen her.
You will never.
She exists in the darkness.
She's like a cat.
Did you look in the ceiling?
Because that's where she was.
Like an ninja.
My wife is the ever see Batman begins
where they're like B1 and he the
Razzal ghoul.
Razzal ghoul just comes.
That's my wife.
She's like a cat.
She'll be under the bed.
She's in the room.
She inhales, blue flowers and trips balls.
She does not like people. And that's what I love about her. I do other people stuff. She does all the hiding. And Ihales, blue flowers and trips balls. She does not like people, and that's what I love about her.
I do other people stuff.
She does all the hiding, and I put Katnip out for her.
Everyone's in the room.
She's rolls, licks the top of her top.
I'm just a cleaner.
Just a cleaner.
But I mean, my wife is my soda.
I was, sorry.
She's my boy.
I've no got to bring it back.
You got to bring it back to 2, five five in order for me to relate to it
Can we mention a question here real quick sure
I know I probably should save this from macaroni rascals premiering very soon on podcast now
With the patreon
Save your money kids. I didn't get to bring us up. I'm a little upset you married him at a gun
Really you couldn't keep it up down
No, I could I tried for years at the beginning when I was in my 20s.
And then in my 30s, I was just dating around.
Nothing seemed to stick.
And then we're in my 40s now and we're getting to the end of that.
And your kid's gonna be tainted.
Tainted.
Full of Italian.
I'm fucking lucky that Katie Hanna can even talk to me.
I'm really lucky.
I'm like, I mean, what's the kid gonna be beautiful?
I could never marry someone who's not a thing.
I don't understand how you don't see this clear set.
You're white.
I don't know how close I have to get you to be like Greg, your wife's Asian.
Your wife's, your wife is Asian, Greg.
Yeah, I know.
We've never seen her.
We've never seen her. I guess you've told us she's Asian. So I interrupted for that bit. Es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que es una cosa que me parece que me parece que que es una cosa que me parece que me parece que es una asignación. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.
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Volotea.
Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.
Esa Nicole, que es literalmente aquà es un escenario. the conditions in Volotea.com. Esnacol, that's literally here's the scenario.
That's the entire podcast of me, Fini and Sagalau.
It's miscommunication, infighting, and then eventually two against one.
Very fun.
But I am a little pissed off now that you mentioned that Mike married in Italian.
And I'm mad that she, who I don't know that well, married outside.
Madagun.
Yeah. I will say it was one of the more,
so watching I rewatch sopranos this year
for like the sixth time with my wife,
and I haven't been drinking, but I have been doing this.
I've been taking quite a bit of irritables.
And when you take irritables,
you really get into kind of behind the scenes,
like, oh, I'm gonna try to look through the acting
of what's happening and see the inspiration
and what they're working on as professionals.
And then I got thrown into this train of thought
where I was like, oh, fuck, do I actually love my wife
or do I just really like this show?
Oh, there it is.
What?
But I just possibly marry into this family
to be closer to the cast of the spread.
That's really funny.
That's really, I mean, what a high thought that is.
Oh my God.
But there is nothing more entertaining in the entire world
than watching my wife's like real,
Genzo Italian family.
Look at how I wish my son looks.
And just be alive.
You love it, don't you?
It's, there's part of me that is like,
you God damn right, I got,
thick ass come. It, it, it, it came through. It's, there's part of me that is like, you God damn right, I got, thick ass cumb.
It, it, it, it, it came through.
Wait till, I can't wait till my family sees
an Asian human being in their house
and how vaguely that, it's very fun.
My step that said something that was like,
so I said that, I don't wanna say it,
it's definitely racist as to today's standards
of racism, but this is a guy who thinks he's like being sweet.
Yeah, so he just makes the, and he's also not like a,
so that's the definition though, it's like in his heart,
if he's not racist, he's not racist,
he's just not saying the right thing.
Right.
Well, I'll, we'll be the judge.
Okay.
Ah, he goes.
Can't wait to see the kid.
What do you think about naming him, Ling Qing?
And Tita goes. And Tita goes,
Oh, that's my,
I'm not.
And Tita who loves him, loves him.
They love each other and he looks at Tita like,
good one, huh?
And I go,
George, man, what are you doing, pal?
You can't do this, right?
But he doesn't get it.
He's from an old world.
And I'm gonna need someone to start talking
to save me from this corner.
Did he fight in NAM?
Like, why does he, he's just like forced
Gumpian hardcore cops with three crazy man.
Harry's gonna everywhere.
Build World War II guns.
Doesn't have hate, but does not know that,
not even that that's not funny.
It's like he builds guns out of love.
Yeah, love guns.
How does that work?
He builds guns and they never to bring us together.
Charlie, no, I want you to stay. I want you to stay. Yeah, I need. How's that work? People's guns never to bring us together.
Gilly. No, I want you to stay.
I want you to stay.
Yeah, I need you to stay.
But Ken, in the way I look at you is especially
with that my kid is so Irish because my comment's super thick.
Um,
you take one of ours and Italian and this goes for your friend,
Fini, too.
That's right.
He picked one off also.
Yeah, very beautiful within, by the wayini too. That's right. E-picked one off also. Yeah.
Very beautiful, with it, by the way.
Yeah.
And you take one of ours, I take one of yours.
And again.
That is how, there you go.
Here's the thing though, is yeah, like,
this is an Italian boy that looks Irish.
So I think it smarts even a little more.
Because technically, he's supposed to live with us
what for the rest of his life?
That's the debate.
That's the rule in the basement.
With his own entrance.
Right, making it an apartment.
That's right.
I got my own entrance.
Did your mom do your laundry?
Well, yeah.
It's me loaf Wednesdays.
Go ahead Greg.
Oh, I forgot.
You didn't forget your second guest.
No, I am climbing the ladder.
Yeah, very fast.
Yeah, faster than I wanted to go.
And the thought I had was amazing.
And it is out of here.
Not even a trace.
If you mean this thing up like Dexter after a murder,
there's not even a speck of evidence
on what I was doing.
Not even a trail.
Something about, oh, this was it.
It's like, okay, but we don't go for Italians.
And they do, because we know what they've become.
You know what I mean?
We raise by Italian mothers, Italian families.
We see how absolutely I of the fucking minds,
right, get when they get older.
And we go, I gotta try something,
it's not fun, I think.
And I don't think you realize what you signed up for.
Now, I think there's something for cutting the genetic gene pool
because I'm 100% and I have cousins.
They were saying there's a joke. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a joke. Well, no, no, no. I wasn't a fact. Well, I'm gonna take it as I'm gonna take it.
Now I'm gonna go ahead and take a few serious
and I'm gonna really refute it, okay?
Please, because there's a real thought here, okay?
Just give me a little leeway.
Sure, okay.
As you gave me.
I'm 100%.
With everyone staring at me as if I was approaching
real reality on why we don't identify women.
But hit me about the genetics.
This is real, This is real.
The genetics need to be cut with something because I'm 100%
I got cousins who are 100% and I have one cousin who's half
Italian, half Scott Irish.
And he's, you could tell his bone structure is better.
He's taller.
It just, he has the right amount of bulk and the right
amount of muscle is skeletal.
Like the rest of us are just walking around
like little apes, you know?
And he's just, I'm like, wow,
this hardcore Italian needs to be cut,
his was cut with some Scott Irish.
Yeah, well that's kind of why I,
I'm just trying to add a little.
No, not like he did it on purpose, Mike.
Oh, that's why I did it.
A little bit, that's why I begged my parents
to move in next door to my current wife
when I was 10 years old.
Because I said one day I wanted a drop of tan
in our honor.
That's all I wanted.
My wife is absolutely shredded.
She does physical work because she designs floral stuff
for big events. So she's like, she lives with you.
Yeah, well, we box under once in a while.
Yeah. Well, this actually to prove my dominance because I do think that she sometimes gets carried away
with her confidence because she wins the fair share of arguments, a lot of the time I'm the
irrational one. So in an effort to remind her of biology and what I am capable of if we walk past each other in the hallway every once in a while
I'll throw a shoulder at her just bumper bumper offer track
No, no, it's a charge power move. Yeah, it's a power move. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we'll step. I'm not gonna do it
But just know this body could tear you in half and I want to and what's she did what's her reaction? What's up?
you in half and that's still. And what's her reaction?
What's up?
What's up?
She would have no problem squaring up.
She would have absolutely squared up.
I'll put you in the hallway.
I've broken my wife's nose when we were kids.
Like because she was a really good basketball player
and she made varsity as a freshman.
Like she's really good.
And so me, my friend Timmy and her were all lived
within five houses of each other.
So we'd all work out and play and all the time, every single day, hoop, hoop, hoop.
And she'd go hard at us and we'd go fucking really hard at her and the amount of times
that we both just slammed the ball back into the bridge of her nose and she had bloody
noses and would have to like run home.
I mean, innumerable.
Wow.
Even innumerable.
Well, the great new word. I just learned innumerable. innumerable. Did I use it right, innumerable. Wow. Even innumerable.
Roll.
The great new word.
I just learned innumerable.
innumerable.
Did I use it right?
innumerable.
I've never even heard it before.
That's many.
You could have just said many.
So you had to fucking show us up.
I know.
I don't even know if I used it right.
There's a lot of times I say words that just feel right.
That's the way I speak.
It's good.
Give me the sounds that you get to sing.
Yeah, but sometimes it's the unword,
and that's not the way I speak.
Yeah.
Well, it does roll off the tongue.
Which one will it be for?
I don't think.
All right.
I don't even like, what would be for this?
It's like, that was like a bad guy in a movie last.
And I thought you were going to launch a tie rating out something.
Already barely holding it together. Remembering the main facts, I just keep coming going to launch it a tie rating out something already barely holding it together.
Remembering the main facts. I just keep coming back to they love you.
Yes. Right. You have a history of being funny.
Yeah. And you will get home.
Yeah. We'll get home. The last. You will be home.
History. Hyenas. History. Hyenas.
Is that what you want to do? The name of the podcast?
It's not taking it anymore? It's not taking anymore.
It's not taking the damn name.
It's like, we had a joke about it.
I forgot.
Do we? Paisons?
No, we wanted to do nostalgic wolves or something.
Like that?
Oh yeah.
Right.
The nostalgia jackals.
It's not your jackals.
But I got a new album coming down the 27th that will be available on. I didn't know we were doing plugs. I'll just jack. I'll just jack. Um, but I got a new album coming out in the 27th that will be available on.
I didn't know we were doing plugs.
Yeah, we can.
Let's plug.
We can go on track.
We can go on track.
Do we have any reads?
I don't have an album coming out.
We just said anything.
I just grabbed what was on the floor and threw it off the window.
But you do, right?
You're putting something out there.
Oh my god.
I do have an album coming out in the 27th.
It's a music album.
Yeah. Yeah, Night Cream. That's coming out soon. Oh my god, I do have an album coming out of the 27th. It's a music album.
Yeah.
Yeah, night cream.
That's coming out soon.
I'll play a track for you.
It's stuck me off.
Let's get together the three of us.
Some kind of lake experience.
Okay.
We just did it.
A note.
We did.
For the wedding.
I told you that.
That's the wedding.
Her wedding?
No. No, it's a Robbie and Casey.
Robbie and Casey.
Someone brings up this Robbie and Casey wedding one more time.
I'm gonna punch Mike in the face.
Why?
Not Mike, I love Mike.
Because all I could, because I was not invited.
And all I kept saying is what, how could I have been a better friend?
How could I have been a better friend to get that way?
I thought I was, I thought I was like, oh man, we love each other, you know?
I just realized, I just wasn't, I guess,
maybe if I had to just call a few more times.
You know, because I'm always in my head
about not being friendly enough to people
and when I'm friendly enough, no you're not.
Or maybe I'm not texting people enough,
people are like checking in.
This, you check in.
I try, I try, I just have to have been a band
with every person I've ever met.
I keep in touch with. Here's what I play. I clearly drop that play. Here's what I do because I also
don't have the band with. But I do get the sneaking thoughts every once in a while of like,
ah man, I feel like shitty. I haven't checked in on so and so. And usually in the past, I've just kind
of shoved that down and been like, ah whatever, I'll see it when I see him, I'll say something.
Right. I, when I get that thought, I immediately text the person.
That's great.
Immediately, because it's like you just gotta like,
hey, how you doing?
Hope you're well, even if it's that.
I always feel weird to be like, hey, how you doing?
I don't wanna talk right now, but I just want you to know
I still want to exist, and if you get married,
I'd love to be there.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I just didn't know that I'll be invited to a wedding.
That should be your text.
That's a great text. But, you know, they're doing good, so happy that everybody, you know. It'll be invited to a wedding. That should be your text. That's a great text.
But, you know, they're doing good.
I'm so happy that everybody is.
It was really a lot of fun.
Well, and I think that's probably why Nicole and I were in a good place, like ultra good
place.
We're, we're, we're, you just keep the fantasy going.
But I think that's where we got married.
We got married here.
Oh, that's what the feeling was recreated.
Yeah.
So it was five years later, we have a two-year-old son.
We probably had...
Building a life.
Building a life, you know, all that stuff.
Both of us are doing exactly what we want to do,
which is incredibly rare, difficult, and stressful.
So when it comes time to kind of acknowledge and be pumped about it,
I want to be able to give my full pumpage.
It's probably because I never had them as guests on my podcast.
We don't do guests. They were both on my podcast. That's how they might be.
We don't do guests.
They were both on Irish Goodbye.
We don't do guests.
That's where they met.
That's not true.
That's not true at all.
That's not true at all.
Um, I actually um, knew the pit, you and some of the other people there, but uh, some
of the people like I didn't know that well.
Mm-hmm.
Because it just wasn't my class of, you know, everybody's coming up with their class
of comics.
Yeah.
Right. Low class. Those were low class low class no they were just younger in the
state that's disappearing michael i mean regularly i'm the only literally the only
not my care you can send my ten ninety percent of these people i would have been right
now i just want to take them down a couple of notches because uh... i thought we were
close
anyway moving along uh... who's to the week
they were uh...
that's a segment of our pockets and i think we have a segment of our pockets called Chuchu the week.
Let's go on. So we name a chuchu.
Do you have an idea?
I'm going to let's let's workshop.
We have an idea. We might as well play it out.
We had a Cuomo today.
Yeah, because what do you do?
Step down.
Well, Mike gets mad at me because Chuchu so far, the three, we've done
Chuchu the week three times.
And every time I think it should be Larry Ness.
Every time it's Larry Ness.
I'm sure you're ruining Chuchu the week three times and every time I think it should be Larry Nassau. Every time it's Larry Nassau.
You're ruining Chuchit a week.
Like he do.
Amelacen, yeah, but I mean who's a bigger Chuch?
Yeah, I mean, it's hard to say.
I used to be a gymnastics coach.
Of course you were Mike.
Yeah.
I don't know what to do with that.
I met Larry, worked closely with him.
Hey, since I was supposed to be host
and I do one of my segments.
Yeah.
Just as hot body contest.
Yeah.
So you guys want to have to head on that.
But Chuchu the Week is going to be great merch.
That is Gama Chuch.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a great shirt that would be.
No, you could also get for the merch
is you could sell patches that like go and hang on top
of wherever, like in the area where it says,
Chucho the Week and then you get the boom right there.
You can sell additional patches with various faces on it
to indicate multiple Chuchas.
Wow, right.
Chucho the shirt.
It's pretty great.
Yeah, or like, well, you know how that goes,
have those markers, they're Erasable markers.
So you can write it on the shirt and then it washes off.
So whoever the Chucho the Week is you write your own on.
And it's like, Chucho the Week. You can use write it. whoever the cheuch is weak is you right your own on. And like I choose the weak.
You just write it.
It's the doodle bear, the original doodle bear.
I'm the doodle doodle do.
Remember that thing where you write it as a kid,
when you throw it in the washing machine.
And it's that seems like a good theme song.
We're also trying to work out theme.
Yeah, I remember going to a boy's house when I was,
oh, yeah, doodle bear.
Doodle bear.
I was after my time, but that's a great idea. I was at a friend's house when I was in second
grade and his sister had a doodle bear and he drew swastikas all over her doodle bear.
And yeah, I don't think they ever came out all that well. I don't know if you needed a
certain detergent, but whatever they were using just couldn't get the hate out of that
bear. Dude, my friend Rob, my friend Rob in high school,
he sat in front of me in a class.
Every time we would hand our homework forward,
he would draw a swastika and he would write a thing
that said, I like this with an arrow pointing to it,
which I think is so wildly crazy.
Teethro would pull me aside and she goes,
Greg, I want to talk to you,
do you know how hateful this is?
And I went, I did not draw a swastika on my homework.
And if I did, do you think I'm also gonna write a line
that says, I like this?
And she just was like, I had to go to like,
I had to have a meeting with a principal,
and I had to be like, it's Rob
or Sutton Rob, which is laugh and laugh and laugh.
And eventually the principal was like,
we really don't think you're doing it.
I'm like, show me any other evidence
that I would do such a thing, you know,
and they were like, but it was like classic move by Rob.
Did you have to get a Jewish lawyer?
Did kids do that a lot in law?
Jewish lawyers like vandalize when you were young?
Not really.
I went to bat for this kid, Raphael, who I loved, who, um, someone he was like, people
made, people didn't like him, but I liked him.
He's, someone wrote Raphael on the school,
and he got in trouble for it, and I went to everyone else,
and he didn't fucking do it.
Who would write their own fucking name?
Who would write their own fucking name on the thing?
That's a fucking, that's he was sent up,
that's his own setup.
And then I see him washing it, and I was like,
man, they fucking got you, that's fucked up,
and he was like, nah, man, I wrote it.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
why would you write your own name on the school yard, dude?
Because I knew they wouldn't think I would.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, there is a fair amount of it.
Some kid got expelled because he wrote on this date,
I'm gonna blow up the school.
Oh, and that's a crazy thing to write.
Blurped it into the bench outside of the book.
What about your name or what about a girl's name?
Yeah, you know?
Yeah, to be able to do that.
We wouldn't be able to do that.
Take them down.
Take them down, but get the right in their names on things.
That was just, then you get in trouble for it.
And the girls like that was so touching.
I had a suffer for it now.
One of my buddies, so his mother, did you have that one house
where you just went to party?
Like, you know, one kid whose mom was either beaten,
but draglled and disheartened by every kid or she was just never home.
There was that place.
So my buddy Tim and Rob, they had their mother,
Britta, who was like both great and also just like so frantic.
She couldn't like get us to just listen
and not break the rules and have huge parties at her house
and all this shit.
So her name just kind of became a punchline after a while.
So my buddy, one winter drew an entire,
like a huge dick across the,
in like with the heel of his boot,
in the snow, in the tennis court,
and wrote,
Britta Sucks, Donkey Balls.
And the entire school was alerted,
and everybody took like disposable camera pictures.
It was pre-cell phone, pre-editing, going viral,
but it analog went viral throughout our school
where everybody went to look at this thing
and people were like passing around hard copies
of the pictures.
Wow.
What about the her kids?
I mean, they were like egging it on.
They were egging it on.
They were super into it.
They were supering it on. That's their mom sucks dick.
Yeah, they were super into it.
I mean, that her mom sucks white cold dick.
Donkey balls.
Donkey balls.
Cold snowy donkey balls.
But is that a thing of the past now where you go,
because you go to a public bathroom,
you remember they used to just be filled with graffiti.
All kinds of racist stuff, suck my dick, fuck your sister.
It's like, not there sister. It's like not there
anymore. It's all on the internet. Twitter. Twitter is the insomnet. They kind of go to
run the bathroom and go, I think I got a lot of me. I think I'm good. Unless you go to
Big Island in Hawaii, there's the most Japanese hate you'll ever read on the outside of public
stalls. Yeah, it must be a Pearl Harbor thing or something. I mean, even gas stations, which that used to be the place.
Yes. But even gas stations, they don't have much on.
I don't know. I don't know. People are like, I'm not going to get the word out here.
Right. It's not effective.
Wait for my time.
They say like Bill Gates bending over to get $100 is like him losing money.
That's like an internet troll writing on a bathroom stall.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. This isn't worth my time.
But maybe that'll be the new way
that all of these groups convene.
Like it used to be like, you know,
what parlor got knocked off and Twitter used to be a place
and everybody's getting taken off and all that shit.
Maybe they'll go back to like the mob days
where it's all, you know, we can't talk.
We'll just write messages inside a certain truck.
It's a clubhouse still a thing.
I don't know.
Facebook has a clubhouse version.
Like, I think Twitter also has one and Spotify has one.
So it's broken.
So like, they just, they came out with a good idea.
It was hot for eight seconds and then everybody was like, thanks.
They forgot to pat and yeah, you know, everyone will, oh fuck!
Why don't think anybody wants it?
I think people love the podcast because they don't have to,
they can listen to something and they don't have to interact.
But maybe people do like to interact sometimes,
but I don't think it's that much interaction.
Yeah, I mean, I think when it comes down to it,
most people, including myself,
know that they don't have a lot to add.
Right.
To a company, right, right.
And I'm saying that.
Especially if you're listening to something that's not your expert field of expertise.
That's what I mean.
You're like, yeah, yeah, I'm just going to listen to these guys talk and I'm having this
feeling, but I don't need to contribute.
Yeah.
What am I going to say to like Jada Kess, the main day to hip hop?
You're going to be like, it's awesome.
You're like, excuse me, Mr. Kess.
Yeah.
I'd like to do you have something?
No. Oh, I thought you were going to tell us it was something to do, excuse me, Mr. Kiss. I'd like to, do you have something?
Oh, I thought you were gonna tell us
it was time to do some producer stuff.
Oh, okay.
You're sweaty.
I gotta always sweat.
Me too.
I didn't wanna tell you about this kid from high school.
This is from a while ago to bring it back.
Scuzzy tone went to the bathroom pay phone
called in a bomb threat.
They immediately saw that on the caller ID
that the phone was coming from the
for the health, the Catholic,
here, a thing.
And you just see the security guards radio go up,
like, who's at the phone?
And they were like, hang on,
they walked over and they're like, come with me.
And I remember them being like,
is there really a bomb here?
And he was like, no.
And then he got suspended or like expelled,
like called an abom threat from this this like to the school from the fucking thing
Do you want to expel somebody who's threatening to build a bomb because then he has the time to do it?
I
Need this is exactly as much time as I need to build a bomb. I guess it depends it depends on how expensive his prison library is
That might be a writer down. Is that something? I think so
Library is that might be a writer down is that something I think so
Right it's a more just what I do is I just scream with the producer remember I said this we gotta keep going
That's like the one I don't I felt so I've had joke before I'm sorry. I'll never punch you. I love you What I know we're good. Oh, man. Let's catch it up to you
I'm barely catching up to it. It is
Soccer punches you. I got your back.
I got your I got Mike's back if you suck her punch him. If you were he means he don't want to
throw in the broad rage and fucking a pack Mike Suarez. I know I would have to pull you off.
What wouldn't you cool me off is okay. Pull you off of him. I'm not gonna let you kill Mike Suarez.
I say this. You start going after one of those guys over there.
Yeah.
The good fellas over there.
I'm punching them too.
Little ones.
The little ones.
I actually think Nicole could kick the shit out of you.
Probably, but if Becky owns on them, I'll go down.
I die, it's called die fighting.
I think Nicole might be able to take Becky.
And she'll take both of them.
Not in wrestling.
Well, I probably won't.
She's a D1 athlete.
Oh, I know.
I take it back. No loyalty. There's no loyalty this day in age. It's pretty crazy. No loyalty. There is loyalty to a mic
No, there's not loyal you're looking at it wrong, huh? You're in a drug-fueled rage. Okay, okay?
You attack mic for note or something you've misconstrued which never happens
I
Have to fucking save Mike. I'm saving the macaroni rascals,
and I'm saving you from yourself.
It's not betraying you.
Why is everything betrayal with you?
Everything is betrayal.
Everything is betrayal with you.
Power move or it's betrayal.
It's betrayal because I'm constantly living in a people
of which constantly in my head is, are you a coward?
Everything is Greg.
What do you Marty McFly?
Through the filter of are you a coward? How would a coward answer this? Did you answer like a coward?
No one's laughing almost be coward
I was kidding about that joke before I would never let them attack you
Sorry
You were just kidding. I just thought this was all kidding
I'm not going I know we were kidding about some things,
but I was serious about the attack
on your threat on your lives.
I thought that was not there too.
If I say something and then I pause, just laugh.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter what I said.
Do you have this talk with the audiences
before you go up?
Yeah.
I'm gonna leave you a space.
Please say a advantage of it.
Listen, read the rhythm.
Don't listen to the word. I'm gonna get up. space. Please take advantage of it. Listen, read the rhythm. Don't listen to the word.
I'm gonna give up.
I need just 25 bucks.
The first 10 minutes of Greg said his rules.
Yes.
That would actually be a good idea.
Establish what you think they should be doing.
Right. It's not bad.
It's kind of putting responsibility on the product.
Yes.
Stay much less. Yeah, well of putting responsibility on the product. Yes. They're much left.
Yeah, well, they are expecting certain things,
so their expectations are kind of outlined
for you to be funny, but it's fair
to give them expectations also.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
I'm expecting you to laugh at me.
I'm expecting you to laugh.
I sometimes do that with casino crowds.
Like in a fun kind of way,
but you have to be constructive where you're like,
I know what this is.
I know what you think this is.
We need to come together as a unit
to make this tolerable for all of us.
You know, everyone's well.
There's some casino crowds where they wanna take
their loss out on you.
Or they just don't, you aren't Tony Bennett.
Whoever the fuck, super pissed.
Yeah, if it's an Indian casino and a joke doesn't work, I'll go, wow, I don't know.
I thought that was pretty funny.
I guess I have to send you smoke signals.
Thanks.
Sometimes they laugh and they go, I take it back.
Tomorrow from your culture.
I take it back.
Give her.
I did. I was jumping on with you. I, uh, and I casino, uh, you know, I'm having trouble
processing that through my liver. What?
They have bad livers. I just laughed because that's. Is it an enzyme? Is that what it is?
And they don't know but I think it's racist
that we're talking about it.
That's just, we're gonna call your liver.
We're gonna rename it from him?
What I'm wrestling with now is my feelings for Bobby
for leading me up.
He sent you guys both emails at the same time,
giving you the green light.
The host is five seconds.
I told Mike, and Mike told me,
so it might have been the maybe Mike got a rod.
It was a mistake on my part, yeah.
I think Gabby got legit
Piss that I answered your call and didn't respond to her text at first, but I was driving
Right, but also and I love and you know, I love you Mike
But Mike, I mean, it's really great speech to was like this is just a great thing for you
This is it and we're gonna move people over and it's like Bobby just passing that torch
And I got here and it was like that Bobby does you like you
Bobby, and he actually asked for Greg Rogale.
And he's listening to this and it's a test.
And we're gonna put his name on the title.
That's fine.
I only did a hundred of these fucking zoom things
over the pandemic where them that were wildly brutal.
Okay, I think we should,
as the guest, I feel like the need to redirect this. As the host, I was going to stay on that for as long as possible.
That was going to get someplace real.
That's 90% of what we're going to get.
We let it drop.
Yeah.
And we let the fans fucking sit in it for a while because it makes it and makes them uncomfortable.
It's half black stairs. It's really, yeah.
Have you guys actually recorded in an episode?
Three, three, two, two, two.
Okay.
All right.
So this is a real thing.
I thought this has been a bit and then Mike started talking about it too and I'm like,
oh no, this is a real pro.
Oh no, this is a real pro.
Macaroni, right?
Ascoles premiering soon.
ASAP.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, we did his podcast and it was fun.
And then I said, come do mine tomorrow.
It was fun.
And we're like, let's do that one.
Yeah.
And then let's keep going.
You know, we're not like committing,
but it's like, we'll just keep fucking
and eventually getting married.
Right.
And then when you have enough stockpiled,
you'll just kind of release them without having to worry
about the consistency of recording every week.
Yeah, and we're gonna release some of them
called the Lost Tapes, and that'll get people's attentions,
and we're also gonna do reactions to stuff.
It's like whatever Cuomo something, our reaction.
So it's all Italian.
Yeah, yeah.
We're gonna react to Italian things mostly.
Voice over dog videos.
We're gonna do.
Whether it's this animal, and what would he say
if he was Italian? a lot of those,
which I think would be hilarious.
I mean, we should think of him.
Pranks, prank phone calls?
Would you prank phone calls?
It's the talking.
It's the pranos for life.
You're gonna judge all of our conditions.
Yeah, OG, yeah.
Now, I think the food sampling thing is great.
Yeah.
Yeah, because you can go so many places
with it, it's like this stinks.
You stink.
Oh, God.
You stink.
Just like something, something connected to it.
That's not really connected to it.
Every episode you pick up the check, and I never fight for it.
Right.
Right.
And then you go to the bathroom, and I just have a moment where I talk shit about you
to another person.
This guy never reaches first fucking wall.
This guy squeezes in the ankle to eight with screams.
Let me ask this.
Was it closer to 100 or around 50?
It was around 50.
Okay.
Because 100, that would have been...
100, that was a favor.
Yeah, 100.
That's like for a real.
And I would, and I don't, he owes me.
He owes me. Because he moved that, I'm moves out of me. He moved out of a story. I moved out of a story. I'd heard his feelings
really did. And I told him on his birthday. Oh, yeah. He had a couple and I pulled him aside.
I go at the beer garden. Yeah. Yeah. I said, listen, I wish you would have. I said, listen,
unwrapped it. I could unwrap this just for the Patreon members
because we're doing 20 additional minutes for the Patreon.
That was the YKWD show.
That was our, we love you.
Do you have anything to promote Greg
before we go behind the paywall?
Yeah, check out my podcast, Ryan and I Greg.
It's not as funny as I was on this one.
I'm even worse on that one.
And also, actually, I was pretty, I don't
know, I don't know, spiraling for no reason. And then, I got a new album coming out on February
27th August 27th August 27th, I was told not to promote because we
have problems uploading it to Spotify. Okay, go on night cream. Night cream. It might be
on the 27th, but maybe not. I got to make sure I got you with my main man. Yeah, it's exciting. As somebody who has had an advanced copy of this album,
God damn, do I really enjoy it.
I suddenly sent it to him.
It's very fun.
I hope he'd watch and go, I love this.
But then I sent it to him and then it went,
I mean, wrong text.
He's got too scared.
No, don't look at it.
Open it.
I see.
All right, it's my turn to promote.
Yes.
Okay.
At Comic Mike V on all social media platforms, Comic Mike V.com for Linktree and Mike Vekio
investigates my podcast.
Please download it and give it a five star rating and review.
I need help.
Look out for our new podcast, mine and Greg's macaroni rascals.
This is the first platform we've really been announcing it.
So we're excited about it. It's going to be a big one. I'm excited for you.
I think this is it. This is your, are you going to be garbage?
Well, we keep trying to say, are you a tailion?
You have to respond. I'm not. And we go, you sure? Yeah.
That's all.
That's all.
And for me, if you're listening live on Patreon, first of all, thank you for tuning
into Bobby's podcast and not turning it off at the site of our faces without Bobby,
that's exciting.
Tomorrow, August 11th, I will be with Brendan Sagalow, Mike Feney, and myself at SoulJoles
in Royarsford.
Nice.
We have stand up, half podcast, we got some special guests,
some characters that are coming out,
which if you're familiar with me and Brendan,
you know what I'm saying?
It's the Rigatones.
We're doing Frank Rigatone and Mary Jean Rigatone.
Very excited about it.
That date is gonna be super fun.
At the end of the month, I'm on Long Island.
I'm doing Bohemia for the Friday, the 27th,
and then I'm doing Levitown, which is my father's hometown on the 28th.
Very excited about those dates.
Then I do a run in October.
All dates, mycanoncomedy.com, my YouTube,
mycanoncomedy.
I do a web series called Mike Takes Edibles.
I did an hour-long poker game, actually.
Slash Interview with Robert Kelly,
which was super fun.
The second episode, I just filmed with Mr. Gary Stove,
Greg Stone over here, and man, is it funny. I just filmed with Mr. Gary Stove, Greg Stone over here,
and man, is it funny? I just got the copy for it. It looks very fantastic. It's gonna be up a
case for you. I didn't know you guys are doing a secret project together. We did. We shot an hour-long
poker special. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, but all of that is up on the YouTube, Mike Cannon Comedy,
and then on this network, here's a scenario that's with me, Fini, Sagalo.
It's a brand new podcast.
We're loving it.
It's all hypotheticals.
What if scenarios?
Would you rather that type of fun, super lazy improv, but it's us.
It's the three of us.
And that's what makes it special.
Then we got the Patreon.
I'll get to you in a second.
I'm sorry.
I've so much going on.
No, keep doing it.
It shouldn't close the podcast out.
I will not.
Patreon.com slash scenario pod.
That's for our Patreon for our podcast. We do all of our bonus stuff. All of our web series go up early there.
We have exclusive content. We do two bonus podcast episodes per week and then we do
several videos per week. Stand up vlogs. You name it. It's all up there. It's our production hub. Check it out for as low as five bucks.
That was great. I should have did all that. Oh, that was really really good.
Really good. Yeah.
Appreciate it.
And we have you even say your Patreon great?
No, I gotta say on Thursday, I'm also doing a Friday night Greg at Roy and Roy are
referred for Soul Jules and Night Cream is performing live.
Yes.
Yeah, we're going to be doing the band is going to be out, we're going to end the
clothes on the show on some music.
And Soul Jules said, I am not canceling no matter what. Yes, we're gonna be doing the band is gonna be out we're gonna end the clothes on the show on some music and
Soldjol said I am not canceling no matter what
Testing the ability of me performing to nobody excellent and on Greg Stowe
podcast what's it?
The great stone zone patreon has got so much great stuff on it so many so many great things so many great things
So many great things and this is going alive right now. Yes. I'll be at the St. Louis funny bone this Thursday,
August 12th through Sunday, August 15th. So if you're in St. Louis, Missouri, come out
to see me at the funny bone. Good damn right. And go see Bobby Kelly live at the comedy
connection to Rhode Island this weekend, August 12th through the 15th. He'll be at the punchline Philadelphia the week after August 26th and 28th. I don't
know, two weeks after. He will be at the comedy works in Saratoga Springs Thursday, September
2nd through September 4th and side splitters at Tampa, Florida, September 10th through
the 12th. I will be with Bobby at side splitters and Province... province ralund also on the twenty second i will be and say i'm twenty out laugh out loud that Sunday
doing a show by myself and uh... so please go get tickets of that because
i was supposed to be the weekend we honest he canceled that's when i think
you can get me because jeth Ross is bringing somebody else
god damn come out to that
numbers for mikey
yeah right right and go to comic wearcom. Great comic, by the way.
I don't know if people will ever tell you how great
a comic book.
Oh, thank you.
Funny guy.
I don't know if people ever tell you.
Oh, is that the worst way to put that?
It was kind of a funny way to put it.
It's a fun way to put it.
I don't think you've ever heard this.
I don't think you could.
You could.
I'm sorry.
You can get the damn soda or squiggly, the Robert Kelly, R.H.
Refear, Mike Kelton, more coming soon.
The fuck Doug Bell is almost out.
Kelton Bell, sister ping, W.I.K.W.D., not you, the Captain Kelly, Pancake Sunday Hat,
W.I.K.W.D. hats, all that comic wearables.com.
I thought those were pogs for a second.
I got fucking pumped.
I thought those are hat and pogs.
And you get free pancake mix with the pancakes on day.
Oh, yeah.
And go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, sign up.
Just $5 a month is what we start.
Get the extra 20, which we're about to go to right now.
Get the bonus episode of Cal2 and Kelly, watch live,
all that stuff, and the new episodes of What's in the Box.
Tech Talk with Bobby and friends, a lot of other bonus content on there as well.
I mean Bobby's got the most content I've ever seen. He's got brunch foods.
We've got pancakes for Silver Star listeners.
For our Silver Star.
It's like how many levels does Bobby have?
It's just a tube of his.
I mean Bobby should just fucking be teaching a business
course in this at this point.
Bobby Kelly the flame flower.
The kids love it.
Is he individually scooping like Ange Mima's
one case, one for you, one for you?
One for you.
How does that, how is that man manufactured?
Bobby's got a different podcast for every room
in his house, Bobby in the shed.
Bobby cool. Bobby in the his house Bobby in the shed
Bobby in the yard Bobby in the spare bedroom Bobby and Bobby is with a mirror
Bobby on Bobby
I guess that'll about do it for us. Thanks for tuning in
I'm joking right yeah Also Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Also my dad died in the 11, so I connected you.
1981, I 11, when I was born.
The real.
So I just, you know, we're still bombing on a show,
bombing on a podcast with two of your best friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we were just talking about how much we love
watching people bomb.
I know.
Because here's the thing, when you bomb a show,
you're still going to talk.
When you bomb a podcast, you just are now a guest.
You just sit there wanting to be just listen.
You guys seem to have been a good job.
Well, no, I've been great.
I think you would have been great.
Go to say that.
And she cries during the Holocaust readings
or that she cries during the 9-11 readings, Michael.
All right, let's go to traffic.
Like, ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. or that TGT tries during the 9-11 reading to Michael. All right, let's go to traffic. Yeah.
We're reading the Patreon names.
We got the Patreon names.
Hell yeah.
The Pull them up right there.
We also have our read from our business sponsor,
on our business level.
Wicked good, good wholesale furniture.
Come in, wicked good deals on all your name,
paying furniture.
Sorry, percent off.
Retail prices. Just go over the Phyllisburg Bridge. They're located furniture, sorry, percent off retail prices.
Just go over the Phil'sburg Bridge,
they're located at 316, town center boulevard,
Eastern PA, or go to wickedgoodferenture.com.
Can you make it bigger?
Yes, please.
That's what she said.
Nice.
This is all one month.
This is all this week.
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The color of me doing well. Are we thanking each person? month. This is all this week. Wow. Jesus Christ.
Tell me. Do we want to? Are we thanking each person? Yeah, he's going to say other names trying to say it funny. I mean, this first one is guaranteed to come out
funny. That's going to burn you more because of my uncultured self. That's going to burn you at
the end. Why you start with Jordan Welch? Patreon only, right? Michelle Salvi.
Yeah.
I did it, okay, right?
An Italian Indian.
Yeah.
Greg, this is you.
Oh, let's go down.
Yeah.
You've seen him on MTV's Dick Suckin contest.
Jordan Welch.
Is that what you're not saying?
I swear.
Yeah, I'm not.
It's a good guy.
Or a good girl.
Jason M. Hughes,
and I have friends who I wrestle with in college,
John and Russ Hughes, so that's a great name.
That guy's barely,
and throw some people around.
All right.
That's the guy.
So, Austin Brody.
That's stream sports.
Yeah, dude, that sounds not your sucking down a do
and doing a rail off a toilet.
Wow, well, from West Minnesota,
he lays in at about 67 pounds
and makes all of the destroyer.
He is,
let's Isaac Solomond for Solomon, one of them.
Coming to the main stage.
I'm a mile from you guys.
Mike Blackman.
Friendships are over here.
Who's probably a white supremacist.
Right.
Let's just keep moving.
What's happening here?
Austin Wiseman.
I'm just getting Austin's.
Austin Brody from before.
I don't know, man.
I said that too enthusiastic. I'm sorry
I think the editables catching up with me now Greg and I'm freaking out
Hi, Alessu. I noticed used to be on my patreon and unsubscribed lastly. Wow. I think
Another funny to run into here. Yeah, we're not in no. Are you couldn't come to my party?
We hear you are at Sammy's party good to see you. You could he know donated five and five dozen. Yeah
Kevin
Royardin
It's Reardon Reardon. Yeah, yeah, I would have guessed Royer's ferd Pennsylvania
Matt
Han
Imagine you paid that Han yeah, you said I wanted to say it like the street fighter thing,
but then I realized there's nothing left.
My next, your next.
Imagine that you wanted to do a Patreon.
You donate just to hear your name,
hear Bobby say your name,
and then you get the guest boss.
You get great.
He's got to do this again next week.
Yeah, it does not fair.
We could get this before.
Guciano, Guciano, nice Italian.
You'd be a fan of macaroni rascals.
Macaroni.
Guciano, getting it.
You getting it.
We all getting it.
He probably did it on purpose.
That was a good point.
Yeah.
Do you think for our podcast,
we should make merch macaroni and acquises?
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
And they're boiled so they burn you when you put them on.
Like that.
The peace trying not to injure your put them on. I like that. The peace of the ancient hands.
Have you got to eat them?
Okay.
People like being abused.
That's what I noticed.
That's what I heard about.
Scottie C.
Who is our final Patreon guest?
One more.
One special.
Oh, mother fucking nature.
So $25, remember?
So thank you, motherfucker nature.
motherfucker nature, thank you, MFN, good man.
Good man or woman could be either.
All right, let's go to the phones.
I think that's the soad, right?
That's the soad, the soad dog.
I've never said that before, I've said it so naturally.
I hate my stuff.
You're really dead.
That this whole episode is a win just for that moment.
But that was it.
Thank you very much everybody.
This has been a pleasure and a dream come true career wise to go to guest host this show.
Where do we get our check? That's what they're saying. I'll see you in the next one.
Well, say this line. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
you