Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mike Vecchione, Greg Stone "Fame Laughs"

Episode Date: December 20, 2021

This week we're joined by Mike Vecchione and Greg Stone to talk about their new show Macaroni Rascals, the pitfalls of air travel, Greg being a new dad, and what stalls growth in comedy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be free. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. He's back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. I'm keeping my time. I can't die you did. This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules.

Shut up! You're ruining this. Break the bar. Damn it. I'm sorry. It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. You know what, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to be back. I hope you guys enjoyed the last episode. I want to thank this is coming out. When the fuck is this coming out?

I don't even know when this is coming out. Anyways, I got a great show for you tonight. Cut that out. Cut that part out. I got a great show for you tonight, two of my guests have been on my show so long. Every time they're on, I love having them on. They're fucking hilarious stand-up comedians,

which is a requirement for the show and The good friends of mine. So let's give it up everybody For mr. Greg Stone and Michael Vecchio. What's up guys? Hey Bobby? What's up, man? How you doing man? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? Oh good flight back? I wouldn't get you're wearing it skankfest south, we were just at skankfest. Yes. That was a lot of fun. You took the earliest flight out, we were just talking.

I always take the early flight out. You don't like to wake up in the sun? I don't like waking up in the town that was just in. Like I'll do in my brand, I'm like, okay, I have these days that I'm doing. And then I like to sneak out of the, in the night. I don't wanna see the hotel lobby. I don't wanna do the hotel lobby again and I don't wanna be in traffic.

I don't wanna be at the airport. I don't wanna touch people. Airports stress me out. So if I can go at fucking four in the morning and get to the airport, I have everything that you could possibly get me through everything without talking to anybody. Like I check in online, I have my boarding pass on my phone,

I have clear global one, TSA, so I can just zip through shit. I don't fucking take out my ID, I don't take my shoes, I don't open nothing, I go through security, I go to the lounge, I get a fucking cup of coffee, a banana, and then I fucking sit by my cell and watch stupid videos, and then the plane comes, I board, I know exactly when it's boarding,

it sends it to my phone, and I do that slow crawl to the front, and then they go first class, or if I'm in like a Delta Plus, I go right before everybody, I just cut them off, I get on the plane, bag up in my seat, boom, all my shit and a little thing and I sit down and I'm done. Good off the plane. Same shit, cars coming up, Carmel, get in the car, get home and then I got home sat in a bench smoke the cigar the leaves are falling life was good speaking of board. I'm oh my god. Hello, I'm Greg Stone. Welcome to Friday

night Greg. Friday night. I just do pop my podcast on their podcasts now. I just make my podcast and I wish you would. Let's content. Let's continue. No, that's all right. I just want to say hello. You're going to take this. Just put this on my stream and we're good. That's what we should do. We should just take. I don't have a follow up on your story.

If one thing goes wrong in that elaborate process that you just laid out, do you flip out? You just completely lose. Give me a scenario. Your clear is not that they go, we don't understand. You're going to have to walk or the clear line is really long. See a sec.

Or, yeah, but somebody gives you a hard time. The car is not come, the guy makes a wrong turn and the car. I leave, I get to the airport two hours before a board. My God. So here's the deal. Anything could go wrong. Flat tire, bird hits the windshield, get fucking

car jacked. The lines along. I got to check something hat. I'm fucking, I'm there so early. Right. Flight kids canceled. Guess what? First flight out, they immediately because I'm Delta. Right. And I'm platinum. Yeah. Right. And I have a platinum Amax. Sorry, platinum Amax. I can get that right. Platinum Amax. Add the sound effect in. I, I, I, I, I, I, I just like,

when I get, when the flight gets canceled, they immediately put me on the rest of the flights on like in a seat. Wow. So I, I just want to get home. Yeah. You don't get thrown by anything. Because I just want to get home. Yeah. You don't get thrown by anything. Because I figure you're not sleeping that much

if you're leaving that early. So you're on no sleep. And that tends to make at least the macaroni rascals in the room a little cranky. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know that I probably should be abreast

of the nicknames that you guys have. Oh, well, you're technically, technically this is our podcast. There's a magnitude host here. You're the guest. We flipped. Well, welcome to macaroni rascals. I'm your host, Greg Stone.

This is my good friend, Mike Vecchio. Yeah. I heard you were flying around these days. So it's got a fun story about platinum being platinum. They call it Bobby platinum. Bobby. Oh, boy, you know,, easy that would be for me. I hate hosting.

I just fucking have guests. We could guess last time we were here, you had a, you set up a situation that was pretty Machiavellian where Mike Cannon came in and Mike and Greg, they were both the hosts of the podcast. I was told, you remember that? Did you know this? I was told I Do you remember that? Did you know this? Yeah, I was told I was the host,

and I think you set that up as a way to just, because we have, let's be honest, I haven't called you in a few Sundays. Okay. You don't call your father. And at all. I know you said I need to put him back in his place. I'm gonna, I was told I was guest host.

I told him it'd be hot meal waiting for me. I was, what is this? The army? Have we come to McIrney Rascals? You get a hot plate of pasta. The macaroni is ready. It's always al dente. Put the water on. First of all, I can't have carbs. You're not getting any pasta for me. All right. You chubby macaroni people. I can't do it. All right. Yeah. But it was fine. I know it's like you could, there's nothing you could do to me with. It would hurt, it it was fine. I know it's like you could there's nothing you could do to me with me. They would hurt me But did you understand what he did face you off with Mike cannon?

Yes, Bobby's a Italian an Irish cannon is Irish. You're an Italian. He took the sides of himself very star wars Oh, yeah, and then face them off against each other while he was gone watching probably from one of these cameras. Yeah Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm a while I watch all the shows I'm watching right now. Yeah, that's where I am. I watch all the shows in these cameras. I'm watching right now. This isn't me. I was dragging the bathroom. I was, he was good.

He was good. He wipes his ass with his left hand. And he looks, he looks at the toilet paper weight too much. He doesn't trust himself. Oh, you got a double check every time. You don't have to, the third, after the third wipe, you should be pretty sure. We like, because I'm, I did three now,

and I'm uncomfortable. Really? Yeah. Because I do a lot, too I did three now, and I'm uncomfortable. Really? Yeah. Because I do a lot, too high, I go too high. What does that mean? I wipe like upper back. Yeah. You ready to start?

Where do I start? I go from the, No, where? You start from the, From I just found out that you're supposed to do front to back. I've been doing back to front my whole life and just wiping it up my chest.

What am I doing? This isn't true, and it's really- It's how he boards a plane back to front my whole life and just wiping it up my chest. What am I doing? This isn't true and it's right how he boards a plane back to front But I mean the first of all the whole travel thing too. I've been doing it for so long. Dude, I used to travel Out of JFK back in the day before it was assassinated. Oh What's up to you? Pow. Give me one. All right, three of you assassinated. Oh, I'll send you pow. We don't want to thank you.

Give me one. All right, three of them. I think the bomb band ended up disappeared. I think you incinerated it. It was right here. I don't know where the vicar went. Yeah. I mean, back, dude, back in the day, there was no,

there was no getting on anything. There was no cutting a lot. There was just the line. Were you able to fucking line and you got to, and there was no room, like in the checkout, like they read the airports in the last 30 years. When I was flying before, I mean, LaGuardia was garbage.

I mean, fucking garbage. JFK was fucking, oh man, it was like, there was a little, people, you'd have to wait outside like to get into the airport part. There would be a line out the front door because there was no room. So you just in like cattle. Yeah. Just fucking jammed in. It was so stressful. So fucked. And if a plane got canceled back in the day, you had to get into another line and wait. And then and whatever they told you was just you had to suck it up and take it. But you just gonna play in these will walk through the

aisles go take its planes tickets and they think. I'll just give up. I'll just give up. I saw your eyes. Oh, what the your eyes on that I was a good train. I thought it was and I read your souls. Your souls with Greg. You should have said next stop Carson City. That would have been funny. I'm so tired.

Anyway, did you smoke on planes? Were you flying back when that was thing? I was just talking about something. The last time I smoked on a plane, I had gotten arrested in upstate New York where I played Conway on the Coulson by the way. Conway at the Coulson. Oh yeah, that's sick, where I played Colory on the Colson, by the way, Colmy, Ethicalsson. What? Oh, yeah. That's sicker. I played that. I, um, I got arrested. You got arrested. You got arrested, I, you did not.

I did, I do very well now. I'm gonna call him right now and find out. Yeah, the way he calls, I said, can you have Greg come on? Can't you get it? He can't say I sold out three nights a row because that will bother any comedian these days. It was the people that are selling out

is just mind boggling. Yeah. I just lie now. I don't care about credits. I don't care what you want. Oh, you got to have that special, great. Me too. I got it all.

I'll just say it. I just lie now. I don't care. I've more than that one checks it. Yeah, I got more Netflix specials than any other comedian. Do you know that? No. I didn't know that.

It's not, yeah. It's true. It's true. It's Netflix Asia. I'm the sign felt of Italy. People don't know that. Yeah, that, it's true. It's true. It's not true. It's Netflix Asia. You don't get it here. I'm the sign felt of Italy. People don't know that. Yeah, that's what I do.

What's your credits might go on? I go, tell me I have more Netflix specials than other comedian and they do and the crowd goes, they still don't care. They still don't care. And no one checks. No one checks. I have nothing.

I've Calvin. He's a good boy. Calvin. You know what they did in, I know, congratulations buddy. Thanks, thanks. I haven't seen you since then. I know I've been I've been slept since then. Well, we've been at Skankfest. He's had a family and we're at Skankfest. Oh, yeah. The Virgin Careers. I know. I wasn't on. You can't go to Skankfest. No. Not with a child. Not with a child.

I know. Not with a real-ass baby. Thanks. He's met him. Hi, Tim. I gave Calvin. He comes over. Mike Vecchio comes over. Yeah. I just handed. I just put the baby in his arms. I went here you go And I just see Michael I've never held a baby. I've never held a baby this young before yeah, and I was like I just saw you Let me see if you give him like a two-foot dildo that was wet. He'd have the same What do I do with this they put both of them up there actually quite comfortable with that one I They put both of them up there. I'm actually quite comfortable with that one. Oh, I did one on myself. I love it. I did one. That's the big dog.

Woo-woo. Let me ask you a question. Just me. Because when I ask you to, I kid's there. I was saying my mind is fucked. I was like, I was like, listen, you do what you do because I know on around 20 minutes, your blood just goes on. Yeah.

And consistent,ecchio, right there. He's my net. I call him the net. He's the net. No grace and twins on this. He'll catch me every time. Get back in the reverence.

No, when I, when we had the baby, certain people showed up. Tom Papa was the first person with his daughters, came and visited me and Donald in the hospital to see the baby. He's just a solid guy, a family guy. Yeah, great guy. And then it was Dan, Kelly, and Joe.

Dan Kelly or Dan Soda and Kelly. Fistuka. Fistuka. And I believe Joe list. They came to the hospital? Yeah, they came to the hospital and they visited you. Who came to your hospital? Not even my dad to the hospital of visit, yeah. Who came to your hospital? Not even my dad.

None of your friends came and visited COVID. I was like, yeah, I'm not true. I'm not true though. You can visit the hospital, right? You can visit the hospital, right? No, we didn't really have any visitors. Cause there's the, you know, there's a George Washington Bridge.

It's hard to get over, you know? Yeah, there's a lot of, you know, I had good friends. I had friends. Did anyone come to the hospital? Yeah, they had a baby path, they had you know, I had good friends. I had friends. Did anyone come to the hospital? Yeah, they have to be happy. That's kind of spot. Yeah, a spot.

Who had a spot? Anthony DeVito had a spot. He didn't Anthony did not come to your hospital at 12 in the afternoon. He had a spot. He didn't come to visit the baby at the hospital. At the hospital. Dude, that's not good. Yeah, where was the hospital though?

It must have been far away. Yes. It's like 20 minutes. We got to go to the RFK bridge. It's hard to get over that RFK bridge. Yeah. Traffic in the toll. Yeah, I think they really love me. I mean, wow.

I tried to do a comedic stress. I heard it. I heard it work. Joe had that into the video. No, but they came saw me after, which was nice. I keep interrupting with nothing. It's not true. I went to bed at 2 a.m. and then nursed him straight till 6 a.m.

The 6 a.m. and then Tita took over from 6 to 9 and then I woke up at 10 to be here. Who's Tita? Tita is my nightmare. I'm kidding. Who's Tita? Tita is this, is my nightmare? I'm kidding. She's this lady I'm banging. Listen, so, so, but you have to wake up, because my wife, you don't know this when you have the baby, they can, if the woman can breastfeed as a man, you're excited because you don't have to wake up and feed them in the middle of the night.

You get to sleep, they have to wake up because you don't have milk coming out of your tits, colostrum or whatever the fuck is it. And so you bottle it, she bottles it. Oh, so she, I bottles it in her. Oh, she fucked you. She fucked me. She figured out the loophole.

Cause I was like, so I guess I'll just go to bed then. She's like, well, I'm putting these in a bottle. No, you should be like, this is too commercial. I mean, I like it more, I'm putting these in a bottle. You know, you should be like, this is too commercial. I mean, I like it more of an alt guy. Yeah, authentic. Yeah, that's not fresh milk. That's right. Do you should tell the colostrum dies 30%.

If you put it in a bottle, if it comes straight from the chat, we're gonna, you know, if he doesn't get it from the boob, that's how ADHD is formed. Everyone knows that. Yeah. Do you want two people on the house with that? That's how you say, this is not a joke. When they tested the baby to see if you was a boy.

Or what? They tested the baby. The baby. The baby. The rapper. The baby. The baby is a rapper. It is a baby.

My baby is also a rapper. Is it? Yeah. He's pretty nasty. That's right. Wait and a flam. Oh, wait. It's going to be a long podcast with a lot of these.

I like it, I like it. Yeah, go ahead. What was I saying? You were saying the baby's a rapper. Yeah, that was what Mike was saying. Are you kidding me? You were talking about your wife, breastfeeding. She was breastfeeding.

Yeah. And she was putting the stuff in the bottles. She put this stuff in the bottles. Oh my God! Let's take a 20-minute nap if you don't. Oh wait, no, no, you 80 HD. 80 HD. Oh yes. Back in the baby. God bless my, that's my main man. Yeah. That's not for that. I know. That was just for you. Yeah. She sees she goes with the doctor to test if it's a boy or a girl and she goes, serious as hell. She goes, do you know if there's a way to test if you'll have ADHD?

And I went, are you serious? Like, I was like, is that how you think of me? Like, she was worried that I was going to pass on my gene. That is literally the thing that makes me as the good man I am. You don't think that my wife went to her doctor, is there any way we can tell if he's going to be an angry cunt? This kid's gonna all have a temper like this. Is this baby gonna scream at people in traffic? Yeah, is this baby ever gonna fucking make a mountain

out of a molehead like everything? Is this baby gonna go in my wallet when I'm asleep? Yeah, is this baby gonna be insecure or is gonna have to do comedy to get accolades on a fucking social media platform or is he gonna have self-esteem? You wanna see a picture? Of your wife's vagina?

Yeah. No. Really? No. Why not? Because I would never look at a picture of your wife's vagina. Dude, this one is wild. No, I would never be able to meet her again.

You'd never get me to anyway. Why not? He keeps her in a room. I don't even meet her. I go to his house all the time. She won't come out. She won't come out of the room She has something going on. Tita. I just started screaming. Tita

She's in the other room making bamboo furniture Because Anthony DeVito and a wig Look at that coxucker. My god. This is my baby. I mean I'll be quiet kid at coxucker This is beauty and when he's so I'm need. I don't do don't say that. Well, is that offensive? To him, he doesn't care. He doesn't get this. He doesn't get me. But he doesn't get our kind of hammer. He does it. Oh my humor is going to come on.

And he's so pretty. Pretty. So pretty. He's masculine. He's a masculine man with many breasts and all. Detsu don't. Yeah. Oh, can I swap through the. I mean, you're going to see my wife with Jada. he's masculine. He's a masculine man with many breasts and all the suit on. Yeah. Oh, can I swap through the I mean you're gonna see my wife's vagina. That's fine. Oh my god. Do you get that framed? Yeah, man I tell you what you should delete that one It's just me doing I do skin to skin with him. I just get a skin in vacuum when he comes over to Lays on my belly Well, I was in bed last night my kid hadn't seen me for a week.

I was on the road. I came home excited to see me. I love him so much. We went out to dinner. We went. I was telling him we went to the go carts at the palisades. Oh, that's fun. RPM.

Well, it's fun. But here's the, you go in and you're like, okay, this is great. I'm gonna take him. He wants to go to the stuff. And I'm like, yeah, let's go. I'm fortunate enough. Thanks to the fans for Patreon, and for showing up my shows.

And I'm fortunate enough to bring Max the thing. So keep that fucking money coming. I am fortunate enough to go and take him. And he's not sure if to go to all go-car places. 50 bucks. It's 40 bucks, it's a lot of money on a fucking Monday night. You know what, my mother gave me a spoon.

It wasn't a backyard digging shit in the dirt. I went to the park and just lied in a river. I mean, dude, you're gonna say that. You guys do such cool things for your kids. And it's like for me, it was like, yeah, we were washing the cars, like chores. Like wash the car. Yeah, might, might, I haven't seen you

wash the car, we're gonna wash the car together. Yeah. Yeah, we watch the car together. Yeah, we had toys made of wood. Yeah. Like wood. And a wood truck. You know what I mean? I mean, so I'm very fortunate to be able to have to sit.

And he started crying. He started flipping out. I don't want to go. We get to helmet on everything. He's crying. Flip and I don't want to go. I'm afraid of going. And mama's like max. It's unacceptable You have to you have to overcome your fear. I love that

I'm unacceptable and he's like but he's like any key It puts the eye I mean comes and grabs me dad. I don't want to go and he's holding me and my whole childhoods Right through my head. You know, I mean I just want to to go listening to you. You don't do it. You don't want to do. Sun. And we're both crying in my wife's like, you facts. But no, but I was like, listen, do you try? You know, try it if you don't want it. If you get it, get out. We'll be. So we had to spend like 10 minutes. He calmed down emotionally. Is it she's like, Max, you need to get over this, try. And he got in and he's fucking, we're going around real soon.

By the end, he's fucking smashing into stuff, give me the peace sign, throwing gang signs, riding like this. So, and then last night he jumps in the bed. He kicked me in the fucking nuts, he slept with us, he's so big now. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me besides getting married. Yeah. Yeah. It's so so you're gonna have so much fun with this kid.

That was a good save, by the way. Why? Besides getting married. That was a great. Can I say something? My wife looked at me and she went, I've never felt love like this before. And I went, you married me. I'm here.

And she was like, well, this is like, I like, I like you. I fucking guy. I love my wife. I miss my wife. I love my wife. I can look at my wife and fucking cry. I love her. And when I come home, I miss her just as much. I mean, she's not much of a fucking cunt as Max. I mean, she can be a fucking cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt.

I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not a cunt. I mean, she's not just as much. I mean, she's not much of a fucking cunt, is Max? I mean, she can be a fucking cunt. I mean, she's a tough bro. But this is the thing with your wife. This is the thing I was trying to,

I've been trying to like get my head around. Is it like my wife has earned her love, right? Like through like when I met her, you're passionate. And you're like, I wanna fuck, it's crazy. But then that goes away. And what you rely on is this building that you've put together. Block by block, I know her.

She's my partner. Her love has been earned and she's got my back and you deserve it. Love in my opinion is earned. This kid earned as far as like in a bank and emotional bank. Emotional bank. Is this going towards Bitcoin?

That's some great tips for the fans out there. Shemo, but the baby has not earned any of this love. It's just immediate evolutionary chemical and posture syndrome. I mean, take it away. What he means by that. And thank you for bringing it up because I have a book on it. You can't what I'm saying. There's this thing about, I think that real love is not the fucking immediate passion you have with someone. Real love is like through being with someone and... Yeah, because that's like a baby.

It's yours. Yeah. It's you. It's literally if you look down, whether you don't know it, you're seeing your cells. Unfortunately, your nose. Yeah, no, he got my wife's nose. Thank God. Fucking God.

Oh, God. Yeah, we didn't need that thing. But if the train him to work with the DEA, it's in the trunk. Get the kid. It's in the wheel well. That was a good one. I'm laughing at it still. Sometimes's in the real well. I'm sorry. Ooh, that was a good one. I'm laughing at it still.

Sometimes you like your own jokes a little too much. I hate that. I'm still good with the one. I said, we well, I got it out. We well is a funny word. That's a fucking great we well. We well. We well.

Yeah, but you love your kid. But I, yeah, I just don't like guys like do it. I miss my kid. Fucking fuck you. Get divorced then. Well, I love my kid more than I love yeah, I just don't like guys like do it. I miss my kid. I fucking fuck you. Get divorced then. Where I love my kid more than I love my wife. You shouldn't. It's a different type of love. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's my family. It's like they're one. I don't know if that makes sense. My wife and my kid and my family. It's the first and only thing that I give a fuck about. Everything else can leave.

Everything else can fail me. I kind of expect it. I love my friends. I love it. But what about the sponsors? The sponsors never fail. Should we go to a ad? They're fantastic.

Speaking of sponsors, we work.com. Get there. Yeah. I don't know. I just love coming home. To yesterday I came home. I was in my backyard. The leaves were fallen. I was smoking a cigar.

And I was like, fuck, I love my fucking life. It's great. We go out and do that. I mean, look, I have a we have a blast. Skankfest was fucking amazing, right. But coming home last night, it's a different, but it took me a minute to like it because my ego was telling me I shouldn't like it. Because if I like that and I've given up on comedy, or I've given up on,

I don't know. My, I've given up on hustle that chasing that dream and, you know I've somehow given up on it like I'm I'm a square You know what I mean right the hustle is overrated. I know these people It's a stupid tell Lewis Gomez that Fuck a guy no, but I mean like there's like I did around 10 years ago I was being carried around by a thousand people last week Okay, I should have listened to that. Goddamn Puerto Rico. And he did it, man. No, but there's work hard and there's like work smart, you know, like I think like I said,

Lewis Gomez was being carried around. Yeah, but he works, he made the smart, great thing. He makes people work hard for him. Yeah, and he's also doesn't mind taking wild risks. Yeah, he doesn't take, well, he takes more calculated risks, I think, but he's like, I think that he had this thing in his head. And it's like a fight, he's Tyler Durden, that's became like a fight club type. He's not just comedy, it's like boxing and wrestling and all this other stuff.

He's a professional heel. Yeah, it's crazy. That's what's that's a risk. That's a risk. It's a risk if you're going to try to be famous in mainstream famous, it's a risk. That's a risk. It's a risk if you're going to try to be famous in mainstream famous, it's a risk. If you're trying to be famous for your fan base, it is not a risk.

It's a risk for you personally. It's a risk for me to be like, I worry about it. It's a risk for you to be around. Yeah, I wouldn't be that. I'm not, he knows who he is. Yeah, like I'm not that guy. No, Lewis made a decision a long time ago. I'm this guy.

Yeah, right. And I like it. He decided that's who he was. And that's what a comic stew. They decide they go. There are a lot of comics are waiting for them to find who they are. The reality is, no, just choose who you are.

Right. And then fucking lean into it. Well, choose who you are, but make sure to aligns with who you actually are. That's why it works for Lewis. That's who we actually is. Right. Sure, sure. There's why it works for Lewis. That's who we actually is. Sure, sure.

There's some people that chose that edgy shit and it wasn't who they were, and then they had to stop doing it. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, at least they didn't have an alley. That's not her. Right, right.

That was a thing she chose to do. Made her a lot of money, very successful, and then she was like, I don't wanna do that anymore. Let me ask you this. So this is the thing I kinda noticed that gets me a little crazy. I feel like a lot of the mean comedians, off stage are usually some of the nicest people,

and then the guys who are like the super sweet guy on stage, I'm like, you're a fucking asshole. You know what I mean? That's an interesting option. That is. Yeah, like a lot of these guys who walk around, like they're like, I mean there are a lot of rarities, like Brian Regan is a great guy,

but like there's just come to comedians who pretend like, oh, I'm very into religion and I'm very into being clean. And then you meet them and you're like, you pretty much spit on my face. It is full of medical. Which is actually in the Bible. Yeah, so I'll spit on my face. Bang, bang, bang, bang.

Anyway, I wish when we did that one time, we formed something. I would, yeah, go look. Is there some kind of a sound effect. Yeah, we know we're adding that in. Okay, we're in post. Sorry for those of you who don't understand what in post is. Joe is.

Yeah, I think there's something, you know, what Lewis did, which he just picked aside. Yeah, he just picked aside. He just, I'm, ah, fuck him. We all have hopes of something happening. Well, we have hopes of mainstream success. Loonstream success. Realize after I think he did last comic standing in LA

when you were, we all did it. And he got balanced. And I think he had the realization, I actually talked to him about it, the realization that, oh, oh, this is not my path. This mainstream path is not my path. And he had the realization. I actually talked to him about it. The realization that, oh, oh, this is not my path. This mainstream path is not my path. And he made the decision. I'm gonna go all in the other way.

We still have like mainstream ambitions. You're in TV style, you're a great actor. And like TV stuff and like I was in a movie. And you know, it's like. Thanks, over here. Yeah, break. You have a baby. You have a baby.

You're macaroni rascals. Yeah, I got, yeah, I got a pocket. You guys have a baby. You have a baby. You're macaroni rascals. Yeah, I got, yeah, I got a podcast. You guys have a podcast together. Right. Yeah, calls great macaroni rascals. Right. Right. Let's just get that out.

It's gonna be weird if we don't tell people that. Please go check out the podcast, McWare. I also have the most Netflix specials of any of the other you have the most Netflix specials of the year. That's true. I knew that was gonna happen. Yeah, Mike Vickigan has a movie coming up with Christopher Walkett. I can't wait for that. I can't wait for it. That's a fuckingecchina has a movie come out with Christopher walk it

That's a fucking good. I mean how'd you get that? Would you mean him again a Starbucks? Right was it a Starbucks? Yeah, um Well, we set my point is we still have hopes of um, not hopes, but like a mainstream. I'd like some mainstream success, Right, right. I don't think I'm, I personally don't think I'm edgy as edgy as that crowd wants. I'm more into the jokes, regardless. Me too. I'm not that I'm into the joke. I mean, I like when you watch a comedian and you go, oh, I never thought of it that way.

And there's a lot of comedians who I go, yeah, I mean, of course, that's, of course, you think of that. Of course. And then you just saying, if a comedian can do a joke that you can do, in my opinion, not a good comedian, there's a lot of comedians right now who go like, yeah, any of the fans like him, because they think that's the joke they would write. And you go, no, I want to walk out of a show and go, I was fucking, that's a great perspective on that. Great. Right. Yeah. And I just like the N word. So one of the other. I'm not pounded on that. That's great. Right. And I just like the inward. So one of the other. I mean, what are the, I'm not pounded on that one. I'm gonna found on that one.

Anyways, yeah, great weekend, great stuff. I'm getting fucking old, dude. Well, I mean, I just like to keep going on what we were talking about, but the audience. Yeah. No, because I don't think of things from the, I think of things. I don't know about you guys. I don't like that. I changed the subject.

I changed my, you're on my phone. Listen, listen, I like the changes and you looked at me. Well, it was a great weekend. And you went, no, I have more to say. All right, I apologize.

Take over. I just recently started looking, you're on your phone now. No, can I tell you why? Can I tell you why? Making Bitcoin. No, I'm not buying Bitcoin. My ring has gone off a lot in my backdoor camera.

Yeah. Keeps going off, which is scaring the shit out of me. Because I'm like, is my biggest fear with this ring is that I'm going to turn it on one day and then I'm going to look and my wife's going to be, my wife and kid of being attacked by some Amazon driver and I'm gonna be here.

So it keeps going on and off and some, okay, there you go. Let's hope he has a mask on. He's gonna be attacking and he's gotta mean for a socially distanced. I gotta know a huge one. Hey, you know what, me for with those eyes, huh? You give me dirty eyes.

No, no, I'm giving you comedic or a team. Oh yeah, there's, back to what you were saying, my lab at Costello. But I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you with my changing of the topic. I just never thought of it from a, I just, we get so caught up in what I'm doing, what we're doing, like, you know, my set, my jokes,

what, where am I going from here to this to that to that. It's like, oh, no, how does the audience actually perceive you? Yeah. It's like, they're not as nuanced as we are. We're talking to the guy at the bar, which comics do you like? And he just gave us a list of kinds. Like, this is who I is out there and I see out there. I don't know you guys because you're not in my feed.

Yep. Like, they just, so it's very like they they're very we have the specific of the inside view of things like people on the outside of jobs and stuff like they know they're just like whatever comes across my feet. Yeah, I like that. I don't like that. And anything they're not looking for us. Right. They're not looking for these nuance things that we all know about inside the business. Yep. They're like that was pretty funny. That's suck. Yeah. They're not emotionally attached to it the way that we are. Do we talk about this? People always say shit like, you was pretty funny. I had sucked. They're not emotionally attached to it the way that we are. Do we talk about this?

People always say shit like, you know, find your voice, see who you are. It's like, no, get a leather jacket. Because that's all it means to them. You were the leather jacket comedian. Yeah. That's what they go. It's not like this. Like, I'm like, oh, I'm the comedian who has these views on this.

They don't see any of this shit. Just put on sunglasses. Get a little chain. That's who you are now. Can I stop you for a second, though? You're talking about two different things. What? Because you're talking about finding your voice is a real thing.

That means you're funny, really funny. When you find your voice of who you are and you enhance that and you know that's your mixture, that's your potion, that you can take anything that happens anywhere and it goes into your thing, Mike, you have your thing, you have your thing, I have my thing, that that's a real thing. The other thing you're talking about is being famous. Branding. There's this fame. Branding, it's what people's voice is. But there's fame and then there's funny. There's a lot of guys that are fucking hilarious that are not famous.

Right. But they do make a living. They do have houses and cars and put their kids through college. But yeah, they're putting up every fucking weekend sold out. Two more shows added the fucking, you know, through whatever theater. No, they're not doing that, but they're very successful in the middle. But they're very funny and they found their voice. So what I'm saying is that what do you want? What I'm saying, we can watch a comedian. Yeah, they could be, he could just be up there in a black t-shirt and jeans. en el momento de que eran muy funos y que se han encontrado en su voz. Pero lo que estoy diciendo es que... ¿Qué quieres? Lo que estoy diciendo es que se vea el comedian.

Y que se vea que se vea en un black t-shirt y jeans. Y nos vemos, yo creo que es un coche. Porque tenemos que ver con los comedians, pero con los audiencias, no se vea eso. Que es un coche. Cuando se vea el coche en su voz, y estoy pensando que... Yo no sé, man. ¡Pero, gente! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. people. County fans might, but not formal. If you tomorrow, if Netflix said we love you, we want to give you a special, both of you. Right.

And we're going to put everything behind you. Don't forget that all these people have publicists. Right. All these companies that the work of them have publicists, they're being injected into the eyes of people. Sure. You know, it's like, it's not a random, it's not just your fans are seeing your shit every week. Just your fans see your shit every week.

That's it. And you're hoping to grow that. How the fuck are you gonna grow it when it's just the same fucking people you're sending it to every week. Right. These other people are sending their shit to people that have never seen them.

And they're watching and going, who, what's this? What's that? So I'm about to leather jacket. It's about the eyes, you're getting yourself in front of these people. You're talking about my two different things though. But no, but you're...

I think that's a relevant part. I agree with what you're saying. But branding is a huge part of it also. Branding is fine, but I mean, I really was about, you go to a comedy show, you'd see nine comedians, right? The audience will see nine comedians, and they'll see the guy in the leather jacket and go,

oh, that's leather jacket guy. He's cool. That's why I, if you're thinking of a leather jacket, don't, I'm thinking best. You'd be a good, you'd be a good vest. I shaved my mustache and everyone forgot who I was. That was like, I was like, be a good vest. I shaved my mustache and everyone forgot who I was. That was like, I'm fucking Superman. I shaved my mustache and was like,

I, and that helped your career. I did nothing for my career. I had to sound like, in fact, kind of what I want. Just give him a note, you know what I mean? He's like, what's sound effect? Shhh. I would. Any of these are really happening,

or is this just a fun bit? You're going to make this guy do probably a side effects in? Yeah, and some of the shit. I don't know, dude. Let's create. Let's do. No, I love that. But I'm going to post creative talk later.

I don't know. I'm going to make my producer do all that. Yeah. I mean, it depends on what you want though. I think if you want fame and you if you're figuring out how to do that, just go get a fucking leather jacket and go make a choice. But can't you take your voice, what you're talking about,

the original thing that we all care about as comics and comedy fans and take your voice, but then brand it appropriately. So it's funneled so that people who are just driving a truck for a living and not really into all this, they recognize the brother. They're like, oh, let me check this guy out with a leather jacket and then they hear the voice and They're like, oh, let me check this guy out with a leather jacket. And then they hear the voice. And they're like, oh, I'm into this. So the combination

of like taking the voice and then branding it correctly. So that the Joe Schmo on the street gets dialed into it. What's my brand? Because I got the act. Yeah. Merge and Merge. Let's say I would love for someone to come here and sit down and go, Greg, here's the shirt you're gonna wear every show. This is how like, but that's the thing that these, that because certain comments make that choice. They're not asking somebody to make that for them. They're making that choice.

I, I me, I'm Bob, I don't, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go and I don't know if I can go and do something else. You know, what am I gonna do? When I have a catchphrase of some shit, you know what I mean? Zing-ity-doo-dah, huh? I mean, I don't have to fuck this. I just want the superficial shit. You want, you want to be, you want to be, I think every comic, at every stage wants to be somewhere else. They do not, as soon as we get to where we want it to go, we want to go somewhere else. Right. That's the sickness of comic.

I just want money. And as soon as you got money, you'd want more. That's right. I disagree. I agree with that. I think I'm maybe one of the only comedians who's fucking well-adjusted. I am very happy.

You gave him a great home, the rest of us are shit. You're all, the rest of us came up like mushrooms. Just like all of you. He said he's well adjusted. I think I am. Have you listened to any of your podcasts? No. I hate myself.

I hate myself. But are you? I'm not well adjusted, but I think I think just. You said you're well, you were the most well adjusted. I believe I'm said it was the most well adjusted. I am. I'm not well adjusted, but I think I just said you're well. You were the most well adjusted. I believe I said it was the most well adjusted. I am. I'm pretty well adjusted. I'm pretty happy.

I get along with whatever I don't. Being happy has nothing to do with well adjusted. You're psychotic. What's well adjusted me? I've talked to you on the phone, dude. Yeah. I mean, my emotions, I was tired one day after getting off the phone with you.

What? Is it? Yeah, because you talked the whole time. Is it? Oh, come on. I got something on there. Yeah, you did it. You got to tag on the end. Yeah, I know.

It makes this work. The team effort. No, no, no. I mean, not well, I guess well adjusted. I don't know if that's right word. I mean, like, I'm not like, there is not this giant void. I'm more worried about money than I am about. People who have a, like, who have a lot of money

talk too much. What do you mean? I know they just talk too much. That's the cocaine. No, it's the fact that they have, it's the fact that was a verbal bomb. I don't know what I am. I don't know where it went.

It was right here. No, I think that when you have so much money, what do you think about that feeling? We know people, right? That have so much money, that do think about that feeling? We know people, right? That have so much money that they'll never worry about it again. Right. Their kids won't have to worry. Right.

Imagine the relief that you have in your life. Imagine right now, you have millions in the bank. You'll never have to worry about money again. You'll never have to worry about that is a, that is a, I don't know, the percentage. But to take that off, you'll plate, make sure a different person. Well, then you have other challenges to worry about. If you're a comic and you have millions and millions of dollars in the bank and you

have millions of fans or whatever, now you kind of have to worry about the fact of what they're laughing at. And do you even care anymore about being in the clubs every night like we are and writing these. I have millions of dollars in the bank. Why am I in the clubs every night? Like there's guys like a tell and Louis, those guys will be in the club every night no matter what. Those guys that aren't in the clubs every night that are still, it was funny, right? They did I go away? No, there's, what I'm saying is after you have the millions and millions of dollars

and you don't want for anything, right? It's like, okay, where's your desire now? Yeah, see, that's what I, what I want in my career is not Ray Romano Doring, everybody loves Raymond. I want Ray Romano now, where it's all done, but you can walk into a club and people go, oh, I love that guy. Yeah, you don't want all the the benefits you want none of the work.

No, I, but that's the thing. It's not to sound like shitty, but like I work my ass. I work my, I probably, I'm the most, when I'll just hit hardworking people. But, but like, but like, I don't want the mega fame. I just want the like, hey, we don't worry. You just worry about doing spots, you know, we're about being money, he can be artistic as I like to be our

but Bobby, if I'm wrong, like you're gonna want after you get there, you're gonna want something else. Like Ray Romano now wants to direct. Yeah, you want to be saved. What's good for that? Look at Jim Carrey started painting. Ugh, I mean, that's when usually somebody gets a horse or an ostrich.

Right. I mean, I want a sack. I don't want a need. Does that make sense? I want a want. I don't want a need. Meaning like, I want a want to always be. What book are you reading?

What book am I pushing? It's Greg Stones. I'd be well adjusted. And with not a lot of money. It's available on Apple Book. But I don't think it works that way. In terms of like a diamond is made from pressure and that makes a diamond a diamond Which is you're in the club, you're under the fire, you're putting yourself in the situation and that's how good comedy is coming out

Good comedy isn't coming out from you being on a fucking horse farm. No, no, I don't disagree that when I started for the first eight years of my County career every show I needed to kill because I needed that next to get booked again. But once I got some in your mind, in your mind, in your mind, you needed to get booked. I want the religious. And that's good. That's not in his mind though. But that actually works. Yeah.

That does what? That actually works. What's the club when they get the waitresses and the people that he kills? That pushes you further and further and that makes you from an MC to a middle or to a headline and very fast, you're doing mediocre. They're gonna keep you in that spot and suck you dry as an MC for a while. And then, you know, so yeah, killing is, I think.

Let me just finish this point. I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah, but I'm rambling. No, but like the beginning, don't ever, don't ever cut my rambling. It makes me wanna rambl more. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, WD is brought to you by Laura. The healthy snack. Follow me. Greg Stone to find out the rest of this tweet. No, but like needing that money pushed me. But once I got some money, that was when I was able to finally be free and really explore shit because that pressure of not having to make every joke fucking kill

allowed me to go to different places. Right. Can I make an observation? Now that's in your mind. Told me. And it's totally in your mind. And the fact what Bobby said too, it's like, yeah, this is, I'll be more successful if I do this. But that's because you're giving the club or whoever's evaluating the power.

Right. And you're being attached to it instead of being like, you know, I'm going to experiment the way I'm going to explain how the power because they have the money. I was afraid of no money. Right. Now I'm a very real thing. Starving artists to me is kind of almost bullshit. You have to the power because they have the money. I was afraid of no money. Right. Now I'm a fan to a very real thing. Starving artists to me is kind of almost bullshit. You have to be just a little bit hungry artist.

You can't be starving because you just can't, it's just too much pressure. No, when I was starving in New York City, I was at the clubs every night, staying out until, I had the latest spot, but I was there early. What do you think it was your best comedic? Dude, I needed to become artistically, how were you? Artistic, it was great.

I was fucking trying to, I was fucking sucking, licking, loving, stand-up comedy. That's all I gave a fuck about four years. And it was hard to pull myself away from that to go fall in love with my wife. I did everything I possibly could to ruin that relationship. Thank God she loved me enough to fucking see me through my bullshit, right?

Right. And then I realized like Micah saying is that I didn't, I don't, I can, I can come over here and be a human that have a life. You know what I mean? My life was stand-up comedy. I didn't care where I slept, what I ate, where I went. I think you fuck what type of hotel, nothing. And then I was like, oh, I want to have a life and I went and had a life and then I had a child. And, but I can still do that stuff. It's the fear. It's my own fear that holds me back from trying new jokes

out on the road because I want to kill. I want people to like it. But in reality, me bombing for five minutes with a new bit in around a year, I'll have a new hour. Right, right, right. Yeah, and then you kind of realize that, oh, it doesn't matter, nobody gives a fuck about that bomb.

Nobody cares that I sucked for five minutes or 10 minutes of during my set and they laughed, but we're talking about, I don't I just feel like money is one thing. And then what we do is another. And if you want both, you have to, you know, very few people get both, like become a holy shit comedian and have fame, that type of holy shit comedian and have fame, that type of holy shit fame.

Right, right, right. It's why there's only a few people that have that. Right. And a few people keep it. Yeah. And it's interesting to see even people who don't get that level of fame but have things happen to them how they handle it.

It's a different kind of challenge. There's a lot of people that aren't fucking hilariously funny that have a lot of things. Yes, yes. But that, I mean, I've always been like, fuck that, but I, I've always been like, fuck that, but I'm just trying to realize that it's just a hole that needs to be filled.

Right. Someone's gonna fill it. I just don't, I don't wanna do that. Yeah, that's not me. I don't wanna do it, but if you're doing it, who do what? Sorry, do what? What do you mean?

If you're not hilarious, you're not listening to me. So maybe he's not listening to you. He's listening to a different podcast on that. No, no, no, no, I'm listening, sorry. Now, if you're not hilarious, you're not listening to me. Now listen to me. So maybe you're listening to a different podcast. No, no, no, I was thinking, sorry. No, if you're not hilariously funny but you have a significant amount of fame. Right, right, right. I look at it like that too.

Oh, that's not what I want to tell you. I told Louis, I was talking the other day. I told him the name drop, you know, Louis. We have a sound effect for that? Yeah, chitching. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Or in some some circles boo. I, I, um, yeah, I, uh, I was like, if I get like a million and a half or two million, I'm, I'm deleting Twitter. I'm, I'm done.

Yeah. Because I have my life where I don't need, right? You know what I mean? It's all relative. I have this and I get, if I can get that, I'm fucking good. I'm deleting it all. I'm not fucking, I'm nope, fuck off. I'm not, I'll do social media as a fun thing. Right, right, right. I'll do crafts. How much more fun would social media be

if you could just have fun on there? You just make stupid videos and not worry about the fucking algorithm. Can I ask a serious question though? Like I'm sorry, Greg, to cut you off about the algorithm. I wanted to get into the ins and outs of the algorithm. Yeah, please talk about it. If you had whatever your number, like, bore, bore, or rhythm, I'll give it. We talked about it. I did that board joke before the beginning. I was called back to your joke. And we gave you a pound for that. I'll put you back to the great one today. I'm speaking of

you said somebody's blood sugars go down. That's when they get the little 20. I just hands are in his pockets. He's getting sleepy. But don't you worry. He'll have a labyrinth. Come back in a minute. Go ahead. What do you got Mike? If you hit your number, whatever your number is, yeah, 18 million. Yeah. I mind mine's two million. It used to be 10. Then I went down to five. As I get older in this business, it's 1.5. $60,'s two million. It used to be 10, then it went down to five. As I get older into this business, $1.5. $1.5. $60,000 a year.

I just want to make what a plumber makes. Yeah, I got 1.5 amount of the business. 1.5, please. You hit your number. It's beyond your number. Let's go double your number, whatever you're doing. I wish a million had hated me so much and hated my comedy so much

that he paid me that money right now. Just, all right, you're out, right? I'll sign it. I've begun. He paid you to delete your social media. I'm tired of getting these posts. Yeah, I wish there was a million of that hated me. Like really, just fuck you up, homely, you fucking hack.

And he just gave me that money right now. I'd leave. If you had your number times two, would that affect your work ethic on the road in the clubs? Would that affect your, you have to really ask yourself that question. Would it make me lazier? No, it would make you better. Would it make you better?

It would make you better because you wouldn't care. I'm saying. I know, I'm agreeing with you. But you have to care somewhat about, you have to care about the joke. You can't just be like, you can't just be like, yeah, this is, this bit is good. This is good enough.

It's fine. You know, you know, instead of poor Bobby would have worked it and worked it and worked it until it's like, oh, this is punched up all the way through. Now you would have went on, I would have went on to say, I would have went off on it because I don't care. Like he's saying, I, okay, fame, you have to see somebody like when you go downstairs at the cell, yeah, you go on stage, fame, you ever see somebody, like when you go down stairs at the cellar, you go on stage, dude, you better fucking be funny, right? Watch Shepel go on. Yeah, he gets 10

minutes of fucking whatever you want to talk about, right? Right. Chris, yeah. Louis, they all famous people get five to 10 minutes of, you don't have to be funny, and we still love you, we're just looking at you. Yes, you don't get that right so when you get that when you get to go on stage Yeah And that's the thing that famous people never fucking do just do this and do famous people love to tell you what to do I want guys like dude you got to get a you got to get a car dude. You got to get like an old car That's the thing oh really you mean a $60,000. Oh, right. Oh, okay. You got to get like an old car. That's the thing. Oh, really? You mean a $60,000?

Oh, right. Oh, okay, I'll just, let me get it. Yeah. Let me finance my house and get a second mortgage. And shut up. You know what my mom is like, you should get an SNL. Yeah. Exactly.

Famous people who like your mom. Exactly. Why don't you get on Ricky Lake? Oh, it's not on anymore. It's irrelevant. Fat talk. No, you're right. So when you have that money,

money is a huge thing. We're doing something that shouldn't, I mean, the, I mean, dude, you shouldn't get paid. I mean, what we do is crazy in the fact that we can actually make a great doctor money and that's a low level comedian. A first year doctor. Apple store genius money here.

Well, but you know what I'm saying? You can make that money. Right, but money takes away a lot of fucking fear. What I'm saying, fear. Like I've seen like, like you have like Chris Rock and these guys go on downstairs. It's now they have to, just comedically forget the money. They have to now decipher how hard the joke hits

because people are overlapping at them because they're famous. So it's a harder to get a money. They have to now decipher how hard the joke hits because people are overlapping at them because they're famous. So it's a harder to get a read on what's good and what's not. I think you're right about that. I think in some way, they give you, they definitely give you more than they should. So you might do a joke that will like Jesus Christ. There's a lot of comics that their third album is like, ooh, because they are getting those laughs, those undeserving laughs, those fame laughs, right?

That what you're saying? And then it's hard for them to, especially if they have their own audience and these guys aren't dropping it to the clubs a lot. So they're just, they're getting huge laughs off stuff that's not objectively funny. So let me flip the flip side of that coin, right? I don't know if this is the same thing,

but if I get on stage, my opening, my act is my pilot episode, right? It's you are immediately learning who I am, whether you trust me, whether you like me, or whatever, right? When a famous guy comes on stage, the crowd already knows who that person is. So to what you're saying in a little bit different point

is that they don't have to immediately prove who they are. So, they are given a little bit of like, oh, I know you, I trust you, and you can go to a different place. So, I would say that a lot of it is objectively funny, but you and I can't do it because we haven't, the crowd doesn't know us yet. They don't know that we're safe, they don't know whatever.

So, they get to do the middle of their season act. Is it objectively funny or is it not funny enough? It's not funny enough. It depends on who they are. I mean, like if you're at the seller. I mean, funny is funny, right? I mean, no, there's different levels. There's different levels of what a joke gets.

These jokes, you ever have that joke where it's like, it's okay, it needs something else. It needs either a tag or it needs a harder punch or maybe I'm not getting into it correctly. Maybe I'm not the lead in, isn't making them feel comfortable enough because the punch is a little edgy and they're cringing a little bit.

It's like, I gotta like work it a little bit more. It's doing okay. What I have people need something more. Yeah, but there's some people that are good writers and some people that are fucking just funny. There's some people that are both, I mean, you should, yeah. So, I mean, some people that charisma is just,

off the fucking charts, you right? Right, but the thing is, and this speaks outside of money too, maybe people comedy fans, us, the waitresses, we can all tell who's doing what. I can, when I'm watching somebody, even if I've never met them, I know what a high skill level is. And I know all the smoke and mirrors. I know all the, and we all do them.

I'm not shitting on anybody, but it's like, we know all of those ins and outs and smoke and mirrors and tricks that people do to get last. So I know the difference between, and we all do something that legitimately takes work and is built from the ground up foundation wise and something that legitimately takes work and is built from the ground up foundation wise and something that's misdirections and is getting the crowd to laugh.

No, I agree. I agree with that, but I also just think that like, there is, it's so funny because I had such a point, but I've been interrupted so many fucking times that I forgot. You're blaming us. I'm blaming, yeah, I'm blaming you. No, I'm not blaming you.

No, I'm saying is I agree with you, but I just think that there's like, there is something to, I need my lera bar. Now I can't remember what I was gonna say. That's what I apologize. This isn't going well for me. I'm gonna vibe, you guys hate me.

Good, it's what you do. You come in hot. Yeah, you're fucking, you just, I'm gonna have to see our dash go. You afterburn, and then you can't go in it, you gotta fucking pull the cord. No, no, I just, I think that like we we look at comedians and we're like, oh like that guy's great. We know what they're doing. Right. But I think that like if we didn't have to prove

who we are every second on stage, it will sometimes will allow you to become more artistic because you're trusted to go to go to go to. Like, well, Mike is saying you don't have to prove that. Right. You can, you know, I understand what you don't need money to do that. You can just do it. Right. And take the hit. Right. But what you're saying, and I agree with you, it's so much easier. Yes. Yeah. For people who have that money to take the risk. But did they get that fame and money from doing what he said? Well, they're great pilot episode. but it's just everyone seen it.

You say that again. I'm gonna throw a knife at you. That's a great analogy. Now, but like if I walk on stage opening joke, I go, here's why pedophiles are cool, right? They're gonna fuck this guy. But if Louis, here's what, here's what. CK walks on and goes, here's why pedophiles cool. They go, oh, I've trusted him.

I know where he's going. He doesn't have to do this. So his first joke story starting here. So by the end, he can go even further. You can't do that. I can't do it. You can't do it. So what you can, to get into your pedophile,

now you have to figure out a way to do that. Yeah. And then do you want to be the pet, do you want to be that guy? Yeah, you want to be that guy? Do you want to be the pedophile guy? I want to be the pedophile. Yeah. The guy. Yeah. No, that's the old. Yeah, no, that's the old one.

Can I make one more point? Of course. Okay, the other point that I never thought of before that I'm just now getting into that I'm starting to realize, it's a lot of it is because I get so caught up in my own act and is the joke hitting, how funny is it? Is it punched up all the way through?

Real meticulous about what I'm doing. How does the audience feel? Right. How do they feel while you're doing your hour? Does it make them feel like when Sebastian goes up and he's doing it, first of all, Sebastian's very slow, he talks very slow and methodic and older people, his fan base skews older, they can hear him.

Like I'll be up sometimes in my aunt, like who was like in her seventies, older people, his fan base skews older, they can hear him. Yeah. Like, I'll be up sometimes in my aunt, like, who was like in her 70s, was like, I can't, it's too fat, you're talking too fast. Yeah. My mother was like, you're talking too fast, slow down. He slows everything down so these people can really, they'll sit and though, no, I'm in syrup. I'm like, who's fan base, that's what he's got?

He's clean too. He's clean. And clean is a big thing. And when the people are watching him You could these Italian families speaks to our pot like these women who brought their women who brought their families into watch him There's this sense of pride and the sense of like do you you used to do that? But they're not well I've had people bring people to see me and they were embarrassed

Because they forgot of what fucking a piece of shit I got. You understand? Yeah, they forgot that I'm gonna say a lot of fucked up shit. Right. And you don't know what I'm gonna do in between. Right. Because I sometimes I go off and they be like, my mom is a little, yeah. So with a guy like Sebastian or, you know, you're gonna be seen by more people, and they're gonna be able to bring them to you, watch you at work, your stuff is gonna be shared more, because of the content, and what you're talking about.

Think about your content, you're the pedophilia guy. Yeah, big time. But the people who come and see you, if you're like super edgy, nobody's gonna come and say, like they wanna feel that, like they're out. You know, it's like, how are they feeling while they're in? It's what Lewis did. Going back full circle.

Yes. I'm not, I don't want to have that fan base. I want this fan base. I want the Skank fan base. I want the ONA, O, P, and the fucking Howard Stern. They have, I want this fan base. I want the Skank fan base. I want the ONA old peat and the fucking Howard's know, they have I want those people. He went and got them. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he's got and they support him. And that's there. There's a ceiling to it. You know, there's, you know, it's not going to be, but he's okay with that. Sure. It's so he made that choice.

I'm going to I'm going to be Lewis J. Gomez. Yeah.. So he made that choice. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be Lewis Jay Gomez. Yeah. The fucking rattlesnake. I'm gonna put it on a Pinyata suit and beat the shit out of my fans. Right. Who would think of that? Right.

You know what I mean? I'm gonna have sex with every girl comic with a tattoo. Who does the Lewis Jay Gomez story end? That's what I want to know. What is the last page on that book? Just, it's tax fraud. He doesn't understand that he only makes 30% of all that money. And then the documentary to follow.

Yeah. And then it's like a 19 girl comedians. The three time I thought I'd do is me chewing him with video. The Capitol riots is like, is this the end of the Louis J. Gomez story and he'll And you know, I guarantee you throw if there was a festival in jail There is now be the world ends before he does I guarantee we're all being a jail parking lot It's doing a fucking show damn it roasting him while he's It's giving Gabe real this the stone cold stunner at the gate heaven. Because he picked, this is it. Yeah.

Also, the mean comedian who's also one of the nicest people in the world, as we were talking about before. Well, the stomas, man, I mean, I'm telling you. Yeah. He is a, in his heart, is a fucking beautiful guy. Yeah. I mean, you can see him with his,

look at a guy with his kid. That's who the guy is. Look at a guy with his kid. That's who the guy is. Look at a guy with his kid. You look at Lewis with his kid, man. Sweetest motherfucker in the world. Well, it's always taken care of me for almost no reason. So always fuck. He's just looking, man, I'm a fucking old man.

I met that little piece of shit, and we've, we went, that we've gone fucking head to head a bunch of times, but I've all 100% been in this corner. Even when I wanted to fucking hit him on a shovel. But, you know, cause I, I've all 100% been in his corner. Even when I wanted to fucking hit him with a shovel. But, you know, because I've always saw something in him and saw myself in him. And, you know, he's, I'm very proud of that kid. I'm very proud of him that he's, you know,

he's become a better person and he's still a piece of shit. I don't know if that makes sense. He's a better person, but he's still a piece of shit. I don't know if that makes sense. He's a better person but he's still a piece of shit. Is which who he is. So God bless him. And, but yeah, but money is a big thing man. Having some money, having a little money makes you, you go like this, right?

This is what money does. Yeah. You know, I say to my wife all the time, are we good? And she's like, we're good. I'm like, cool, because I've said it in the past where I'm like, we good. You're gonna have to go work. Yeah. I'm like, all right, I'll go work.

That's a shitty feeling to have. Can I tell you the biggest thing right now? I'm just gonna be open and vulnerable as hell. Please. I honestly, because this is the thing it's getting me. This is why I'm just like off and whatever. But it's like, one second, whole still furniture. Ha ha ha ha.

No, go ahead. What do you get? No, I don't know how to explain this, but it's like, and I don't know if this is just me not realizing, not being proud of my station and being like, hey, look, you know, you're okay so far. But like, this kid that came, I love him. And there's nothing I do when I hold him.

I'm like, man, like, no matter what, if I ruined my career for this worth it. This is the thing that would happen, that that's okay. But I just don't think I had gotten far enough. I was working 16-hour days, almost every day, before he came. Now the kid's here, and I cannot do that. And I go, man, if I wasn't able to make it before, how the fuck with limited work and giving a shit about this kid and really caring. Cause I just, everyone I know who has a kid

got past that little hump first. And I just hadn't gotten past that every club I headline, literally what you mail me and be like, hey, can you come back and feature or headline again? Like, it's like, it's a constant fight because I don't draw or whatever. That like, now I'm like,

I just didn't get to where I needed to be before this fucking kid came. And I just, the water is right above the lips right now. And I just am fucking horrified, horrified. And I need Mike Vicki-owned to go do Joe Rogan so that our goddamn podcast can do well. But I do understand what you're saying. I do understand what you're saying,

but I don't think, I used to think that way. I don't think that's how it works though. I really don't think says the guy with no kid or wife. I feel like, yeah, I feel like there's a road says the guy with no responsibility. Nothing tying him down says the guy who lived with Dan's head of a 20 years. Says the guy has rent. That's $488, but has with a best new man or bit says the guy. I got the new man. Says the guy who fasts every other day

Emotionally fast too, which I think is funny. He only shows up lunch. Don't I just can I take this one? Sure You have a kid. Yeah, you have a wife you have a family and you're nervous. Yeah That is one of his that is what I could, that is what, that fear and that heavy rock that wakes you up in the middle of that, which I still have by the way, okay, I still have it. Still wake up at three in the morning. My roof just fucking started leaking. I can't pound the way I can't for. You what?

I can't pound, because if I pound the way I did before, I won't be this kid's life the way I wanted. That's not true understand this The coffee Understand this Most guys most guys fathers wake up Before the kids up they're off to work on a train in a car in traffic going to a job. They come home 6 o'clock at home seven eight

Kids in bed by it. They see home, six o'clock at home, seven, eight kids and bad buy it. They see their kid on Saturdays and Sundays. Okay. And those are the days that they usually take some time for themselves. Still, okay. We see our kids all fucking the time. All the time. The only time we're not going to see him is maybe on Fridays and Saturday nights. Okay. Well, home Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesday, Thursday, okay? And we see them during the day. We see them all day. You're gonna be with your kid all day.

Breakfast lunch, dinner, middle of the night. We work for hours. Dude, you're gonna see your kid more than most dads see their kids. And this kid is going to make you, maybe that's saying, babies come with two bags of gold. Every baby comes with two bags of gold. You will, you're, and not to get too weird, but the universe is gonna come.

You're gonna stop talking about this right now. No, I believe it's on that right now, because I'm about to fucking rock. No, let him finish. You're breaking me immediately. The universe is gonna give you and that baby, what you need to make it. You're up to your lip, but you're not. You're right

where you're supposed to be. Yeah. Because all you need is a roof over your head, some food for your mouths and each other. That's it. All the other shit you don't need. A kiss after respect me, let's I have a conversation. You can't respect you. You know what you think? You can't love you. I don't get live at conflict. Why do you have, it's never gonna be a college. You have the most Netflix festivals of anybody. How could you get your perspective? Dude, I'm telling you right now. I believe that's right. It is coming, it will come to you.

You have to, if you're thinking, if you're thinking about how much you love your kid and how great for you, and be with that. The other stuff comes because of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing, you're waking up, you're doing a podcast, we're going to funny skies in the business.

You guys are working hard, you're doing your own show, you're putting it out there, you're fucking hilarious, and that stuff will come to you. It will come to you. You have to keep creating. You can't worry about the outcome. You have to worry about right now what it is you're doing. You can't worry about what it's going to get you.

You're going to be fine. And you are fine. Think of all the fucking immigrants that came here that lived on top of each other. And I thought, what the me? I do think about them. I'm talking about. We're going to be talking about illegal Mexican on the patriot. I'm a patriot. I'm extra right now. If you want to stick around, please stick around for the page. You guys, we're going to go, we are going to Patreon right now. If you want to stick around, please stick around for the page. You guys, we're going to go, we are going to Patreon right now, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you guys fans of the Robert Kelly podcast, please head over there and become a member. We do a little extra over there with these guys every week. You also get to watch the show live. You get to be part of the chat and be part of the show.

And also you get a bunch of the stuff, live from the shed, you get to call through in Kelly and Friday, you get to watch all the shows live. So much stuff on my Patreon for you guys, so much content I put up there. So become a member, pick a level, get on there. And if not, it's always free on Sundays for everybody. So if you see you can watch it.

But anyways, yeah, dude, you're going to be fine. I think you're going to be fine. Yeah, it's scary. It's yeah, man, it's real scary. Life is fucking terrifying. Isn't it? The first kind of like even during COVID, there was no break because I just pivoted to something else. This is the first time it's like, no, I'm not doing this. I'm being with this kid to be in here. I'm taking care of my wife. But you got to remember this too, and this is hard for me is you got to go away from your kid to to take care of your kid Yeah, my kid came to me It was a lot of two weeks ago and I was on the road and we were in the middle of the night He's and he's like I go I came home. I came home and

It was 10 30 he stayed up to me, hadn't seen me in four days. He stayed up to see me and I was leaving the next morning, at 4.30 in the morning. And I were in bed and he's hugging me. And he's like, when do you leave? And I go, I go, I go leaving a couple hours. And he started hyperventilating crying. And he was like, Dad, why, please, just don't go.

You don't have to go. And he was like, Dad, I don't need anything. He's like, I, why, please just don't go. You don't have to go. And he was like, Dad, I don't, he goes, I don't need anything. He's like, I don't need any presence. I don't want anything. We can just stay home and eat and just don't go. And I was like, well, I gotta make money to, give us stuff so we can, he goes, we don't have to go to a room.

We don't have to do any of this stuff. I'll just be with me. Please don't leave me. And I was like, yeah, it feels great. And I love that he loves me. And it broke my heart. But in reality, it was like, yeah, it feels great. And I love that he loves me and it broke my heart. But in reality, it's like, Max, I got to go do this stuff. I'll be home. And I'm spending all day Monday. I'm coming home Tuesday night, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I will be with you. You know what I mean? Sure. I'm gonna have a blast. And in reality, too,

dude, as soon as you leave, I'm gonna think about you. I'm not even kidding, I call them on FaceTime from the airport, all emotional still and he's like, get that, listen, hey, I talked to mom, Henry Danger's on. And I'll give him five. I mean, they do, but they don't. Sure, sure. So, you're gonna be fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When that be something, if your wife was sleeping with a guy named Henry Danger. And that's how you found out. when that is something if your wife was sleeping with a guy named Henry danger. And that's how you found out. I just. Yeah. We don't have that. We don't even have Nickelodeon on our cable.

Oh, shit. Oh, I got coffee in my nose. How gross is that? I have brown bookers. All right, man, that's YKW for this week. YKWD for this week. Shit. Of course, we have Greg Stone.

Your podcasts are. Friday night Greg. It's every, it's Friday night energy. It's every it's Friday night energy. Everyone's in the morning. And then my wonderful podcast with Mike Vicki on macaroni rascals, that both are great. Both are really funny. But ours is a Patreon.

Macaroni rascals, it gets released, right? It's a regular podcast. It's a radio. It's nine. We have for 10 episodes. Do you think it's only a Patreon? Mike, now we've reversed a lot of podcasts. A lot of people. You want a 10 episode. Do you think it's only a Patreon? No, we have three versions. We have a lot of podcasts.

A lot of people. You want to just do one with me. So is that what you want to just do with me? Yeah. Greg, you're out. I'm sorry. How funny. Um, yeah, it's, uh, I got to put the Patreon on there, right?

Patreon.com, backslice macroony, Rascals to subscribe. No, no, you can get it for free. And then for, uh, to get the video and to get it early, you go to Patreon and you can, you subscribe and you get that. And what is our, uh, we have a $10, uh, uh, it's the, it's, uh, it's a, it's a made, made, made, made, you have five dollars. I'm falling asleep. The envelope's a little like a five dollars is the envelope. The envelope's a little like, we respect it. We respect it, but the envelope's a little like. And the $10 full membership. And check out my other, I'm sorry, are you done?

No. I was literally plugging your podcast. Okay, I was plugging your podcast. We don't have this down to it. For the gumads. For the gumads. I mean, it's fucking nuts, you guys are so bad. Okay.

People love it. Mike Vecchione investigates is my podcast on gas digital. Please subscribe, turn it, tune into that. I need a lot of help there. Mike Vekion investigates and macaroni rascals and check out my dates. MikeVekion.com and at Comic Mike V on all social media platforms at comic mic V and I appreciate a follow. Can I get a kind of plug my stuff too because I get to finish my plug because I'm very

good. Yeah. I always free my fuck. Follow me on Instagram Greg F stone I'm putting up a lot of clips and it's fun and I also read what I do is I put all Mike's clips on my Instagram so you don't need to follow him. So I just you get to for one. You get it's clips of Michael. That's not true. Anyway, I love you, buddy.

I love you, buddy. Listen, you guys are two of the funniest guys I know. And it's always a pleasure having you on. We're going to go to a little extra right now to into the show. Go over there and check it out and make sure you check out Robert Kelly live. Calm for all my dates. And I'm not going gonna put you through all the shit they just put you through that was just tough, it was tough. I wanna thank Nikki, new Nikki, my producer.

I wanna thank Mike V. Schwarris at Mike V. Schwarris. And I wanna thank Joe Russell, the magician. Check out his cheese show, please, at YouTube. Just type in cheese show. It's the only one on YouTube. And him and his lovely wife soon to be. Do this crazy, awesome cheese show every week. Funny.

It's cheesy. And it's cheesy. To the regular of the cheesy and this cheesy. I get nothing. That fucking plug sucked all my energy out of me. And we'll be back next week. On You Know What Dude, you guys are the best fans of the world.

We'll see you next week. You know what the... Stick around, it's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber kelly. See you there. All right, Well listen. This has been a special a patreon dish I knew we're gonna long was like 15 minutes 20 minutes We did a half hour because I love the you guys the I love doing podcasts with you too

I swear to god. I'm so glad you guys got together and did a show a good chemistry good chemistry But you guys a good chemistry with anybody you do a show with. It's a true fucking town. I mean alone Not that interesting, but when you know what somebody else To fill up that other space, so they wonder we were it was zero times zero That should be the name of the fuck You do the math Not for nothing This podcast not for nothing.

You got to go to Patreon. All right, listen, Gregie, thank you so much. God bless you and your baby. Love you, thank you. And I'm telling you, you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

Because you are a hard worker, a good person, and you know how to get shit done. That's it. You do things. You don't let shit fail, You know, you don't. And this is going to actually, this is going to propel you to the next place you want to be is by having that much pressure

to get the engine going. So, all right. Now Mike, now you do me. You're a super talented, you're a super talented human being. I think that's what's going to push you over the top. I think you're super talented. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm going to say that the pressure is going to make you better than you are.

No, I love you. Oh, I know. I love you. Super talented. I think you're better. I'm a super talented. I mean, super talented. It's nuts. But listen, you're a talent. Put the super in front of you. You know, he meant soup or he's super talented. And of course, back you know, you're the best man. You fucking. Well, if I was good seeing this weekend, yeah, it's fun. And great watching a fight together. Great hanging.

Oh, it was good, man. I love. One guy was talking to me. I was a getaway for me. He took over me. Was that he only just has that he can just deal with these fucking people. I kept going, don't touch me. I was gonna snap his finger back.

He's gonna take a side pistol because he's from Houston shooting. I will see you guys, of course. Check out Robert Kelly live.com on my dates. Check out comic wearables.com. I got that new YKWD hat up there from Skankfest is going up there. So if you start and you want it, you like to, which I got a lot of hits about that. They sold out at Skankfest. They're up on, they will be, if they're not now, very soon up on comic wearables.com, sister, pink, bells, YKWD. We got that YKWD hat up

there. Excuse me. Sorry about that. That was disgusting. And we got a new, we got a new pancake Sunday coming out. We're going to be joining with bare mountain syrup. This is going to be helping us out. And we're going to put a package deal together for pancake Sunday hat, candle and syrup. So there you go. Check it out. We're going to be doing a special thing for that too. If you post you a pancake Sunday, hashtag pancake Sunday and tag the podcast in it, you're going to get your own little package for free. We're going to pick one or two of you guys and send you a pancake Sunday package deal. And I have to piss. So we got to wrap this up.

Make sure you go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and become a member of my Patreon and support all the stuff that I do creatively. You're the best fans of the world. We'll see you next week. You know what? The later. I want one of those hats. Those are dope. See your shitty jobs.