Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Nate Bargatze, Luis J Gomez, Joe List, Dan Soder
Episode Date: November 6, 2022This week the Regs Luis J Gomez, Joe List and Dan Soder join Bobby along with the sniper Nate Bargatze making a return to the show! Our listeners can get 30% off mattresses PLUS 2 free pillows, or get... 40% off when you bundle a mattress with their award-winning adjustable base. Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for a limited time. Robert Kelly "Kill Box" AVAILABLE NOW at LouisCK.com Patreon.com/RobertKelly to watch Unedited and Ad Free PLUS Watch Episodes LIVE and GET Bonus Episodes https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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What's up everybody? It's your boy, the dude Robert Kelly.
We're back in the studio.
We had a couple episodes.
We got a couple episodes out of town at Skankfest.
Oh, fucking Christ.
Anyways, there you go.
How old are you that you're fucking Ringtonas winchimes?
You fucking old bitch.
That's a fucking the sound of bingo balls rolling
in a fucking thing, Tumblr.
You ruined it.
I don't care.
You should
At this point of the game you're
Dance not here. Nate's not here. Welcome. We try to get Louis up here. He said new. No, wow
No, no, Louis is gonna do a special YKWD with just me. That's boring
Not off the side of the way to utilize
Look did if you if Louis was up here with us, it'd be great.
We start trashing him, dude.
Yeah.
We started your gay chant at the
comedy seller because he wouldn't
come upstairs. You're not going to
do that with Louis. Can we
you pontificating and Louis
giving you fucking director
advice? Fuck off. That's
show stinks. Yeah. It should be
here. If Louis was here right now,
we'll be hilarious. I told him.
I told him to come up. Tell him
he's gay for not going out for his
Louis would say. I will go as is here, Joe List is here.
All right, you know what?
We have Napar Gatzis here,
little is coming and Dan Soda.
I want to thank everybody who bought my special, by the way.
Appreciate it.
LewisCK.com, all 18 of you.
Well, it was a little more than that.
We actually, the special did very well.
Very well.
The first week, you did amazing second week, third week,
still selling, LewisCK.com, kill box, go and get it.
Right now, if you're watching this, you should get that.
Anyways, I want to talk about a couple of things.
I wish the other two dudes were here.
Well, they'll come later.
Dude, Skankfast was the best.
It was incredible.
It was the best and there was a couple people,
I know one particular that was supposed to be there,
didn't come, whatever.
And I said, I, in all Syria, I said,
you don't miss it again.
You fucked up.
Who was that? I don't want to say.
Mark Norman.
Norman, who did not invite me to his wedding?
I didn't invite it either.
No.
Of course not.
Wow.
What a fucking climber.
Three star fucker, faggot Mark Norman is.
I mean, a lot of people come and meet me.
No, no, no, that's what you edited.
I don't want to edit anything.
That's fucking crazy, dude.
It's all, I know exactly where I stand with Mark Norman.
It's all good.
I didn't think we were like close friends like that, but you know, you think you'd get
an invite to his wedding.
Can I say something though?
I'm glad you don't have to go.
There is it.
New Orleans.
Really?
I was incredible.
You know what, the fly down there.
It wasn't good.
You just wanted the end.
You wanted the invite.
Would have sent a gift.
You would have, you just I wouldn't have went and I would have sent
again would have been a legion of skanks winter
I sent him a kilo of cratum
He's like that you lick what ivy
If you were to miss out on skankfest you would have said I'm fucking rattlesnake gear which is worth less long
You got to check you you got to check a cocaine for fennel here. Here's a testing kit.
But it was, I told you know, I tell everybody you got to be there. You got to be part
of this thing. By the way, there's a few guys that would be great that I think aren't
on your radar run on Hirschberg.
Ron.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah, he's okay. He's great. He's fantastic. I heard his he got a fucking ripped off. It's the funniest fucking thing in the world
That's what is that tell me that you know that?
No, it's not a joke. You know he got ripped off. You know this. I forgot. I know this. I swear to God. I'm old. I
Don't remember it. I'm asking you tell it. You tell it. Why you can't tell a story
You tell it now tell about a story guy. I don't know the whole story all I know is if you're not a story. You tell it now. I'm a story guy. I don't know the whole story. All I know is if you're not a story guy, what are you?
Yeah.
So all right.
So Ron, I'm an expert on God.
All right.
You know what?
You have a point, Joe.
There was this person who'd been scammed.
I don't like your adorable freckles.
And you know, I got freckles.
I got freckles.
Do you guys get older, dude?
I get in the sun.
My freckles pop.
It's really bugging me.
I'm just in Belize.
You get a little orphan Annie knows.
It's a bugger me. You're adorable. Thank you. Yeah, you're attractive.
Hey, bro. So there was a scam going around. And they were emailing comics.
This guy on Instagram, be like, Hey, do your funny comic or roast. Oh, yeah.
I was with him. You're right. I do know this. You know, sorry.
I was with him on the road. Yes, what happened?
You know, we were in Nebraska,
a South Dakota, and this fucking guy,
tell the story though, because they don't know it.
Yeah, so this guy starts to email people
and be like, hey, you know, I want you,
I'm roasting my friend or my wife or whatever it is.
We want to pay $300. We roast this person.
And most comics got caught on pretty quick.
Like this is obviously sort of weird scam.
It's like a weird profile.
So her mom's like, yeah, I'll do it, dude.
I would love to make $300.
This is fucking wild.
I'm doing fucking the movie podcasts.
But Joe lists, I make nothing, right?
We do that right, actually.
So maybe about 500 or more. All right. I'm. Actually. So eight minutes on Louis show on the road.
So the guy goes to pay Rannon.
And he pays Rannon $3,000. Right.
And he's like, Oh, I accidentally gave you too much money.
Can you send me back the $2,700, which is the difference?
So then Rannon goes, yeah, of course.
He sends it back to $2,700.
The other guy, he told me the story,
I go, you just got scammed.
Got scammed, yeah.
He goes, no, I go, dude.
Oh, while it was happening, he's,
while it happened.
I said, dude, you just got scammed.
Nobody sends extra money.
Nobody does that.
And then you can just cancel.
If you send somebody money, you can cancel it.
It's been a while, Platinum.
He did it.
Yeah, so yeah.
What a fuck.
I mean, I was there.
I go, dude, he was so crushed.
Because he had just moved.
He just spent a lot of money.
Oh, yeah, he moved into my house.
And he didn't have the, you know what I mean?
I mean, he had money left list face his name's Hersberg
At the end he has money somewhere. I don't think we can do that. Oh, yeah
Yeah, sorry, but hey cut that out yeah
Irish affairs Jew
Drops dropped. It's already dropped check it out
YouTube for free speaking of Jews right?
Yeah, but anyways, you should have run on its gang because he's one of the oldest.
First part sounds like the shittiest chocolate company ever.
First part chocolate.
You really get me today.
I like that.
First part chocolate.
First part chocolate.
We got it.
He's a guy that's always.
The half the size of a normal chocolate bar for some reason.
He's overlooked in these very funny.
Okay, all right.
Would the Skank fans like him you think?
Oh, yeah.
Who asked? Give me another one. Mush. With the skate fans liking me, think. Oh, yeah.
Why?
Who else?
Give me another one.
Why was it mush the other share?
Uh, next question.
Um, Ron on Hershberg.
Uh, who else?
Who's my,
Viny.
No, Viny was there.
Oh, Viny had a baby today.
I didn't even know about that.
He was there.
Viny had a baby today.
I know.
Congratulations.
He was there. Daniel Simonson. He was yesterday. He had the baby today. I know. Congratulations. He was there. Daniel Simonson was yesterday. He had the baby yesterday. These were all white guys. Stop looking at the timeline and thinking that's their timeline in life. He had the baby two days ago. It was no. It was today two days ago. He posted it.
You saw his thing today. I had blacks. Yeah, like a cluster of them. Yeah, we had two Ray.
Yeah.
Oh, I saw two Ray.
I hadn't seen him in a long time.
What a festival.
We'll say two blacks.
That's a two Ray in Godfrey.
And I know you had Will.
Will was there.
Will and there was two as what's his name too.
Yeah, they got Derek.
Derek was there.
Oh, Dave.
Was there.
A couple was there.
Yeah, a lot.
And you had the girl. What's your name?
Somebody. Kim Connid. Carmen Lynn. Black. Yeah.
I don't know. I don't know.
I'm a linchist Spanish. Where's the fine sign showed up? Yeah. She's she's friends with
Marina. That counts. She's she's a Irish affair. Jew is out now on YouTube. And by the way,
so is so is this year's material.
I haven't been on the show since my special end film came on.
Yeah, but I'm gonna fucking do Joe.
Well, I'm trying to get a plug.
Let Ari fucking have it, dude.
It's his day.
You really need your debt to ask me.
Well, Bobby,
he's been on his special even before.
No worries.
He's been on his special.
He pre-noted his special.
Well, I'm nervous.
I get nervous around.
Brown.
Brown's. I haven't been on it. We, a special. Well, I'm nervous. I get nervous around Brown. Brown's...
I haven't been on it.
We had a film you can be.
What do we all say?
We got a bonus pick with you.
LouisCK.com.
You got a bonus pick with me.
Got a bonus pick with LouisCK.
Why?
Fucking cock sucker.
Fucking cuts me out of his movie.
Yeah, but we showed it at Skankfest to those 11 folks.
Does it matter, dude? It doesn't matter, dude. Big screen. Then they're like, oh, we're gonna at Skankfest to those 11 folks. It doesn't matter.
Big screen. Then they're like, oh, we're gonna sell it with extra features on the website.
I know as you guys fucking do. You know, the Skank fans are retarded. They're gonna buy anything
with me in it. They spent fucking $10 in movies. See, uh, 18-second scene with me in it.
First of all, it was 15 and second of all. Uh, I don't have a second of all.
It was a great scene. Great scene, great film. What?
Great film.
Can I ask a question about that?
Yeah.
That scene, when Lewis did it, was actually a great intense fucked-up scene.
Why did you cut it?
Well, like, I know Lewis wanted to keep it, but you were like, I wanted out.
Why?
You're fucking up my shit.
Why?
You're fucking up my shit.
What do you mean?
I told him the opposite
Sorry, we've been Lewis said to me. He's like I'll take the hit right but when you told me you like do I just don't want
It's just too violent and he's too aggressive and it's like it's like he I gotta get it out of the movie It's not what this movie's about. No, I wanted it in yeah, yeah, yeah, you wanted it. I wanted it
Why your glasses pink tinted?
Because he's a fucking weird
a fucking weird. That's why I'm a hundred percent.
Yeah, you fucking want to see what it'll
Well, these are more in glasses that are actually glasses. You're just wearing stupid.
No, these are glasses inside. There's sunglasses once the sun hits them.
That transition, but they're not glasses. You don't need glasses.
I need sunglasses. Yeah, but it's nighttime. Put them in your pocket. They should ray band those glasses.
I like that. I like that. Yeah, nose is so adorable. You're, I hate the pinkness of your glasses.
I like the other ones. The blue ones are nice. What blue ones? Don't you have blue ones like that?
These are the ones. No. These are the ones one thing one other day at your party on fucking Rogan you fucking sell out bitch
Everyone go watch Rogan's the Bobby and Rogan's podcast and Bobby's in there trying to like sound smart and pontificate about horseshit
What do you mean you fuck you dude?
I'm sick of all these people dude. I'm sick of everybody. I gotta start calling everybody out
You've been sick for a long time. They're shit
Dude first of all talk about going on Rogan and trying to pontificate.
Nobody tried to pontificate more than you, you come down.
Dude, the way he's at the right.
It works.
Shut up.
Now, I know you'd even fucking watch it.
I didn't say.
I just watched the one clip where every time Rogan proved you wrong,
they went, eh, you were like, dude, the way you said it was wrong.
No, no, no.
Good job, fucking just feeding the trolls, Bob.
Good job.
Feed the fucking trolls.
I like the pets.
I like them.
I like them as pets.
Yeah.
What's a better movie?
Troll or pets?
Pets.
No, troll.
Troll is better.
What's wrong with you tonight?
Why are you so sensitive?
I'm not sensitive.
Well, you're very sensitive.
And why is your mustache a lighter brown?
Are you dying your mustache?
I'm not. I'm a new me, dude.
Believe me, you're a new me, dude.
You're being fucking...
You know sound new, you sound same old.
Do I?
A little bit.
I got a lot going on.
Like what?
You filming a documentary thing tomorrow?
For what?
Some sort of Tucker Carlson production company,
some racist right wing shit.
What?
Yeah, dude.
Speaking of documentaries,
you hit Dane Cook is doing a documentary.
A documentary?
I've told him about my documentary,
and then you come in with fucking Dane Faggot Cook's documentary.
Dane Cook also fuck him, dude.
I'll say that right now.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I love Lewis Burden the Down.
Hold on. You said you had a bone to pick with.
I got a bone pick with the cook dude.
He came with a gas digital on big time.
He thought I was like an intern, dude.
What are you talking about?
I think I cooked it gas digital.
He did a SDR show with Ralph Sutton and Big J sometimes.
Sometimes Matt Dogg matter.
I was Gino and really falls off.
Wow.
Woof.
Yeah.
And fucking Dean Cook came in with his fucking makeup girl.
And as he was like, he had a makeup girl for a podcast.
Yeah, he was wearing makeup on a podcast.
And he like, I was like, oh, hey, Dean Cook.
And you just said, I'm so glad that me and you are friends.
Yeah. Well, you can't do anything around him. This Cuck's not just revealing. I was like, oh, hey, Dean Cook. And you just said, I'm so glad that me and your friends,
you can't do anything around him.
This Cuck's not just revealing.
That's crazy to have a makeup artist
to come in on a fucking podcast.
That's a wild thing to do.
Nobody in the world does that.
And literally, I do podcasts.
This is all I do.
You know, you know, there's dead.
I've never seen a single person fucking do that.
Can I ask a question? Is your groin covered in cum?
Because it looks like it is.
Yeah, kind of.
Can we get a shot of this?
No, I spilled something on my crotch.
Okay, come.
Come.
Come here.
Is that the documentary you just getting come down?
Yeah.
What's the documentary?
Before you go to do fuck you, dude.
I want to know. I'm sorry.
Go ahead. Come on.
Don't say fuck you. Don't be so mean.
Which side are you on? Is it about you or your... I want to know I'm sorry. Go ahead. Come on. Don't say fuck you. Don't be so mean.
Which side are you on?
Is it about you or your?
Uh, they hit me up and they were like, oh, we want to do.
We filmed this thing and I was like, fine, I'll do it.
And I was like, and they were like, yeah, we're going to feed
film all these comics.
I'm like, great.
And then I saw the Chrissy mayor filmed it today and I was like, oh, shit, dude.
That was just me and Chrissy mayor.
I'm a fucking Nazi.
They're really going to prove it.
Oh, Jesus Christ a fucking Nazi. They're really gonna prove it. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's over.
Wow.
Is that all you got going on?
That's it.
And you're in love.
And you're a new man.
Why are you a new man?
I'm a new, I got a new girl.
You guys in love.
He's in love.
You know what though?
I can't, I've seen his new girl and she's,
I mean, she's outrageous.
I mean, I've heard a lot about her body.
I don't know anything about her personality. It's a little bit alarming. I mean, she's mentally disturbed I mean, I've heard a lot about her body. I don't know anything about her personality.
It's a little bit alarming.
I mean, she's mentally disturbed.
She's a little bit liars, but in a good way.
She's sweet, good conversation.
I've never talked to her.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Here's the thing, she's sent videos.
Do you have videos of her?
Really hot, you know?
No, she's awesome.
She's cool check, great check.
Yeah.
Yeah, professional dancer. Wow. she's awesome. She's cool, check, great check. Yeah. Yeah, professional dancer.
Wow.
Tours with Latin recording artists.
Hmm.
Oh, geez.
Have you heard Molluma?
No, no.
I don't know any artists now.
I'm feel like a Molluma is apparently a massive Latin recording artist.
Yeah.
Two, one of his dancers.
Right.
I'm the age where I don't know the SNL guests or hosts.
I don't know anything. I don't know any new music.
I know there's a fat black chick named Luzza.
Luzza? Lippa, what's her name?
Wish you performing your mirror.
Lippo? Lippo, what's her name?
Bobby was just looking at it.
That's all, that's all.
Bobby was just looking at a photo negative of himself.
He just did that joke in the mirror.
Yeah, that's very similar.
He just did his joke but different. I guess the negative makes sense the negative
It's black or you also better Joe way better joke. Well better. Yeah, but it was a takeoff of mine
We're full riffing dude. Also, it's cool riffing even if it's a negative you would be why
A black and white photo of a white guy the white guy's white. No, the white guys black the fuck are you talking about what guys black
You're an idiot dude. It's a negative negative. That's what I call a
Negative I'm saying negative all right stop if you hold it up what is the
I don't want that to be the name of the name of returning to my core values
I'm not selling out like dinkook this out before Nate gets here. Yeah, we can't I don't want that to be the name of the name of the returning to my core values. Jesus.
I'm not selling out like dinkook.
Look, this out before Nate gets here.
Yeah, we can't, he's settled down.
He's got a series, you know what I mean?
Bugachi.
Bugachi.
Bugachi.
Nate Bugachi.
Someone pull up a negative of a fuck, it's black and white.
It's like you're not.
Stop saying negative.
Look.
Okay.
It's a black lady.
That's not a negative.
That's like one of these. No, that's a negative.
That's a negative.
I like to hear it as negative now.
There we go.
Jesus.
I'm not even saying anything.
It's negative.
But is that a photo of a black lady?
I mean, I might have to be wrong.
Oh, I see on the bottom there, okay.
Yeah.
That's a negative.
It's a positive cake.
Is this the thing?
Irish affairs Jew on YouTube right now.
Is this the thing where you stare at it?
And then you look at the blank wall and you see her face that thugs fuck is that a hot
checker is that two old ladies yelling at each other. I don't know.
That's those where I don't know.
I'm saying shit. Optical illusion. Thank you. You know what? It's where you're in
skankfast next to your. I like it. Thank you. I think I was thinking of a black and white
photo. You know, black and white photo.
You know, black and white cookie.
Bobby's in now.
I'm black and white.
I'm on fire today.
I'm the only one who's attempting jokes.
You are.
You're bringing the heat.
Well, it's hard to get chime in.
Yeah.
You throw stuff and then you threaten our lives when we started attacking you.
Well, I had one and then you just took it and made it different.
I made it better.
It was a better joke.
Lizzo is the negative version of, I said negative, of Bobby Kelly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, going back to your thing is that I'm old too, and I don't remember.
I don't know anything that's going on and I feel old.
Yeah.
I feel, my kid sings songs in the car and I'm like, how do you know?
Who is this?
I have no idea who anybody is.
I'm stuck on Led Zeppelin,
Aris Smith, and the Foo Fighters.
All I got.
Who's your kid singing?
Yeah, I don't know.
All of a tree.
That's the rest of the rest.
Adam, was it all of a tree?
All of a tree.
All of a tree.
Yeah.
Tree?
Sounds like he's a little, you know what I mean? There he is right there. All of a tree. That. Yeah tree. Yeah sounds like he's a little You know what I mean there he is right there Oliver. That's diva and that's not
diva. That's all of a tree. He's got some good song. What's he sound like? Can we
hear it? Can we play a little bit of it? Probably not.
If you want to stay monetized. This is the core values bitch. Okay. Can you not? What? You do a bitch.
This is a core values.
Yeah, this is laugh by Kelly for
student.
We would call a bitch.
Yeah, she's fat.
Hunt.
Play the song.
That's what we would say to Kelly.
Kelly was a comic.
She's not a comedian.
Is she not Kelly?
Wasn't funny.
She's funny in the Kelly.
I would agree.
Hey.
What?
I can call her name.
Call her name.
She's called you.
Call Nicole.
Can I say you call Nicole.
Can I say this? Nicole.
She's Bob.
You could go as Oliver tree next year for Halloween.
Bob, you go as a fucking red oak.
Pull that, pull that photo back up.
Well, winter coat, a neon winter coat, a black wig, right?
Can you see it?
Actually, I can see that, Bob.
You kind of would be a good, healthy.
That you've lost all the weight.
You can still fat, it's gonna be a fat good, healthy guy. You've lost all the weight.
You can still be a fat overt.
I haven't lost all the weight.
I still have around 30 pounds to go.
That looks like your old head show.
That's the same guy.
That's the same guy.
Same guy.
Yes.
Well, what is it?
Balls on his chin.
And that one to the left.
Go to the left, front of the left.
Because he's kind of crazy.
That's what you let your son watch.
He's a skateboarder. I didn't watch that. That's what
you let your sun watch. No, listen to the music. It doesn't
watch. Please hear Oliver tree. This is crazy. I'm trying to be
monetized. It be core values. You'll make money. Money will come
and create the best shit possible. You can cut it out. Well,
can we just sing it? It out. That was a. I'll sing it. I want to
sing it. But it out. Wow. There we go.
What is this one?
Is this a good one?
I don't know.
I don't know any of his.
Well, Robin Schultz.
This isn't the comedian.
Andrew Schultz, you're thinking.
Robin Schultz.
Hey, guys.
Ah, Robert Schultz.
Hey, we got it.
Can we hear it?
You want this one or not?
Ah, what do you got?
Let me see the thing.
I'll tell you which one to play.
The whole Jesus Christ just play it. I know. She's getting panicky now. That's all settled.
She's freaking out. Well you told me that's not the good one. Yeah, it's not a good one.
Cowboys don't bribe. That's just body's body's righteous. So there's this bitch.
30 million views on Cowboys. Who's this bitch that's in it? She's hot.
30 million. He's jelly. He's diesel huh?
That's him? No, that's not him
There it is. No it is. It's just it's doctor. That's him.
Oh, but the music is here, my man. This isn't bad.
It's pretty good man. I'm gonna hear it.
That chick's not Come on baby, let's take one last ride. Bye. That checks out.
Do.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
That looks like something.
Bailey J. Right?
No, she's hot.
She's smoke show.
So is Baileyley Jay.
I like this too.
This guy is pretty good.
My first concert was co-eating Cambria.
What does that mean?
Yeah, it's a way of...
Stop trying to flex.
Yeah, stop flexing your kid.
You're flexing like a goof.
Yeah, stop flexing your kid.
It's a goofy.
Yeah, you're going.
My kid's first thing was,
you know, it's not being goofed.
I just point out that Dan is a fucking sellout cook and that Nate
Pagazzi, by the way, I have, I have info on Nate.
What?
I'm, I'm ready for it to draw.
What are you, he's gonna get rich enough where I can actually
blackmail him, which is amazing.
He's, I mean, he's right there now.
You think so?
Yeah.
What, what, what, what, what, what, what's Nate's net worth?
Those things are not accurate. Who cares? It's funny. All right.
I don't know what I can see. What do we think? What do you have? What the fuck?
I feel I say one thing. I feel like I'm gonna get you're gonna come across the table.
I'm gonna ask who can't if it's fake new. It's fake news.
It's no it's no good. It's fake. 10 million. He's way higher than that.
Monthly salary 100,000.
That's no, that's not annual income. Two mill. That doesn't add up.
It's not the salaries of 1000. It is anyone to taxes and all that stuff.
Yeah. Well, 100,000 for monthly would only be 1.2 million a year.
Yes. Yeah. So he's been doing it for around 10 years.
And there you go. This is that's low. Sorry.
That's a lot of money. 10 million. That's low for him.
That's low.
Definitely low.
Yeah, well, actually, Sarri, 100, that he's doing
Bridgestone Arena.
That's probably a quarter million dollars.
Yeah, but then taxes, manager agent, all that stuff.
They're not taking out taxes from there, dude.
Yeah, they are.
Free tax.
Yeah, but that's supposed to be free tax.
There's not.
Net worth.
Where am I at?
Mine said, I look the other day
It's 750,000. Yeah, well you are more than me which maybe sad someone on the internet some troll sent me my net worth
And I was and maybe hurt my well, that's because they were movie made money
The movie made money that's what they think 800 thou what what you went up 100
I went up 50 grants
How does this happen?
Wow, how much is Lewis Gomez Lewis?
Cheggo is that me and I was like who do you think who do you think who do you think who do you think more you lead at the jam
Purpose like an alpha thing you're trying to do like your fucking stop reading book
You're getting you're getting a little crazy. Yeah, I did not leave a J out on purpose. You did
Stop fucking not find it our. How much is it?
What is he?
Lower the mind.
Oh, I promise you my net worth is more than Joe's mind.
Lower, mind's lower.
Data birth April 1st, 1982.
What about five foot nine?
I'm six foot one.
You're not Lewis J Gomez.
Comedian writer.
Yeah, that's not him.
Yeah.
That's not it.
That's not it. There's so many inaccuracies. Five, that's not him.
That's not. I mean, there's so many inaccuracies. Five, nine, 30 30, 30, 30, 30, five, nine, yeah, now, I know your birthday.
April 1st, 1982.
That is true. That's power. Good friend.
You think you're worth more than me?
Net worth. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I mean, dude, Skankfest going back to that,
not to segue back to that. Yeah. Well, it's sold out. Yeah. How long to take to sell out?
Two minutes. Two. Really? Yeah.
I paid very little to the comics. They paid great.
Big, great. Better than any other festival.
I get paid better than any festival. You know, I know the truth.
I don't even know what I got paid. I don't even look.
I'll be there. Number one. That's what she's worth.
They paid great. They put you up in a fucking great hotel,
and they also got you out there nice.
And while you, they're most important thing,
you were treated like a fucking king.
Yeah. I go, dude, I need a chair.
I got you, Mr. Kelly.
Some would come back with a yellow shirt.
That was one guy, Greg.
We got a shout out to Greg and his wife.
Was amazing.
On the fucking mission.
Very attractive lady.
Christine.
Even in the green room, though, they, whatever you needed,
you got, they never fucking made you feel anything.
You walked in out security.
They knew who the fuck you were.
It's because it's put together by a former comic.
And any club or festival, that's an ex-comic.
They know how to do it.
It was great. It was the green one was great, the hang was great.
Um, all day.
It was really good.
It was almost too good. Don't stare at me. Why are you fucking man some lamp in me?
I'm not man some lamp in you. Just blink motherfucking. What's man some lamp and me? I'm not man to lamp you just blink motherfuckin
Man to lampin just fucking how about that great hang you me bread-earned
Starry cigars vecki-owned by the way
I'll say this about skankfest though one thing. I think we can all agree
Yeah, they could be a little bit better about letting you know when your sponsor
I think there's a lot of marijuana happening. What do you mean? I got fucking I thought it was great. They kept adding you to shows. That's fine. Are you bailing on me here?
I don't know what we're doing. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. Ready? They they would call me,
text me before you got this much time before you're going on. Well, we're going late. So you have
this much time. Okay. People are on me about my shows, but also what he was on me. They did not as in demand as Bobby.
Pull up our net worth again.
Dude, the thing is they did what your net worth even pull Bobby 300,000 300,000.
That's not it.
Which is.
We looked up to this guy for a while.
Which is 100.
I have my net worth is more than 573,
just talking to you real high.
Your house costs less than 300,000.
No, you're crazy.
Both of you, I own two homes.
I own two.
You own a tiny house.
I own two and a half acres in the white miles
in the hampshire and I own a tiny house.
Yeah, but what about the actual real estate value
on that house is $350,000 for the land and the home right now. I could take a loan, equity loan on that house is $350,000 for the land and the home right now.
I could take a loan, equity loan on that house
for $350,000.
I hope in New York, in Westchester,
has tripled in price.
Whoa.
And I only owe a very small amount on it.
So I own, I have so much equity,
I have at least four times that amount of money.
And then the, in equity.
And the house upstate, the tires on that are worth a couple
a couple thousand bucks easy
for I mean that's I
Thought my confidence was gonna get me through this
I thought I actually have both the astounders on now these are very low, but we've done this before
I'll tell this story on the festival the last night. We're having a great hang
So by the way both producers left. There's nobody in the room in it.
They're going to get the other guys.
I was up the, having a smoke,
the cigar, last night.
I'm calling motion just fucking in the bathroom right now.
I'm still here.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, wow.
She's like, four or four. I couldn't see her.
The last night I'm done. All my shows are done.
They sent me three shows on my itinerary. I lived through a nine. Yeah, and then the last
night I'm smoking a cigar. Vecchio comes up. I felt so sad. He goes, what the fuck? I go, what?
He goes, I just brought you up. I gave you a heartfelt intro.
He goes, I brought you, you never came out and I go, no one told me and I go, how did the crowd react?
He goes, you got a huge pop And then you just didn't come out.
Right.
Nobody told me.
Yeah, well, I mean, that happens, especially
in the last night, everybody's fucking exhausted.
But they snuck me on shows, but I told Christine,
I go, listen, one of them I did, the other one I was like,
I don't want to, I just did this show.
It was great.
I think you want to get like three to four stand ups
sets and then do the podcast.
Three is fine.
As many podcasts as you want, I'll do them.
You start to get self-conscious about the material.
Yeah, because you're like, these people come see one of them once and you're like,
all right, I got to make sure I do a different set each time.
But they, you know what they did this year is they had the names of the show.
So it was legend show.
So it was, this is like a kind of theme show, not really.
So it was this and then you did this show.
So they're all kind of different little gigs, which I liked, not as much stand up as the last year, Houston, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en
medianas a domicidio solo pidiendo el line.
¿Saparao?
3 por uno, 3 por uno.
Ah, no, no, no.
¡Dominos!
Pizza.
Y las últimas tendencias en botas, comodidad 10 de los desde 29 con 99.
Daisman, mucho por Andal. Nice man. Mucho por and I had a run down the strarious
Wow
Both were incredible. What year did you like better?
Houston or Vegas Vegas 100% Vegas 100% Vegas Dan Vegas. He like I don't know
I like them for different things. I like the
You said you're fucking dead shot off right down the middle. Don't want to piss anybody off don't make a decision. I was gonna say I like Houston better
You do not yeah, no you don't you say no you saying that because you're here. You want to push me
No, yeah, you fucking saying that because I said Vegas. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, say Vegas Vegas say Houston. No say say Houston
Houston got you corporate fuck
What I liked about Houston I'd then put me in a better mood
When I was there
Dan
What I liked about Houston is you could escape the craziness and just like go back to the hotel or like walk around and it was like quiet
You can escape because that is a fucking
Hotel is closer they agree that a great
dream room. Vegas brought anxiety.
The second you stepped outside of the room.
Dude, they had a great green room.
We've got a better
better in Vegas. Yes, it was.
And next up, we're going to have the
Bobby Kelly smoking lounge.
We smoked right in all the merch.
Yeah, all the more the
merch going inside next year.
And the Bobby Kelly smoking lounge will be
up. Wait, hold on. I didn't
announce where it's going to be yet.
Yeah. Okay. Don't say anything yet. Why not? When we were watching the Ellis fights, we were watching from the I think that's what we're going to be. I think that's what we're going to be. I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be.
I think that's what we're going to be. I think that's what we're going to be. I think that's what we're going to be. I look like you were just with those sunglasses on look at that 26 fatigue share those sunglasses look like you're selling bedazzled sweatshirts
No, okay, where's the bomb? Wow, it's right over there. Come in your way. Don't worry. Yeah, I thought that was pretty good
I'm gonna dig sum of a sign that one
Wow
Thanks, I think I'm taking it right off my fucking
Wake wasn't yeah, you're a good host Bobby. Yeah, they don't like me. Why why are you too mad at him? I'm bad
He lost weight and he got less funny Yeah, you're a good host, Bobby. Ah, they don't like me. Why, why are you two mad at him? I'm mad.
He lost weight and he got less funny.
He's not having a little bite in his nose.
Don't put that in his face.
There also goes stress-eating, rip something.
Ha, ha.
The doctor's gonna be like, Bobby, what are you doing?
Why were you doing that?
Bobby's fucking lap band is gonna go,
put the head out of the mouth of your all across the room.
Like a cartoon.
I ain't gonna lap in.
I've got to fucking gastric sleeve.
Whatever it is, They got a fucking.
They made my stomach smaller.
That's it.
They didn't put any lap bands.
I'm not Ralphie May did the burlap band.
Yeah.
And he ate through both two.
Like, band, we need an entire sleeve.
They put a sleeve of cookies into a stomach.
Yeah.
It's fun.
We're having fun.
We're having fun.
Would Nate Bigtime, everybody?
Yeah, big time.
He's supposed to be here.
Is it not coming now?
He's coming.
Help me out.
The show let out.
So he's downstairs kissing Louie.
Might be doing another set, maybe.
Nope.
They just let out the village underground around the corner.
Really?
So wow.
Wow.
I'm just letting you guys know.
Arena Nate.
Louie's in.
Louie said he's got a ghost.
I tell you this.
Fucking he's got dirt on Nate.
So if he doesn't have a ghost. I did dirt on fucking he's got dirt on Nate. So if he doesn't
I did dirt on eight. You have dirt on him dirt on him. What you got dirt on yourself, though?
I'll tell you. Yeah, wipe it off.
30 point. I'll tell you right now. I got some dirt on eight.
Well, you don't have what kind of dirt could you have on it?
He's a Christian.
You got dirt on it. They always got dirt. They always are saying that's so
fantastic. 30s of all the people. Yeah.
30s of all the people. Yeah. Not all the people. Yeah, I mean 30s of all the people.
Yeah, not all the people.
Yeah, fall well documentary on Hulu.
Yeah.
Dan engaged.
Yay.
Dude, I mean, you're, this is insane.
Even with that beard, she said yes.
Joe doesn't like it.
It's a little, it's a bit puby.
Yeah, it's a, it's a two puby.
Dude, it's very, it's a two pubie good. It's very it's very north west
I said he looks like he's playing bass and tap. Yeah, I hate your reference. It's a terrible
Hands-opening for the screaming trees tomorrow. Shout-out screaming trees. They'll mark Lanigan RIP
Yeah, he died. Oh, she's so did Steve the door guy here at the seller God bless. Go. We're just just fucking shocked on the news out there.
Oh, guys, I think oil's down. I should fear fucking Mike.
He's got a baby. Uh, Mike. He's got a baby. This guy's getting married.
A baby, but Dan's engaged. Hey, I'm asking question. Dan's in gay.
Yeah. Yeah. You get it. I, I, I, I, you excited. You feel good? Yeah, it's, it was, I I get a bite me. You're winning. I'm like Mark Norman. Of course. Of course you're coming to my wedding
What's been what's been fun is like like people have been tweeting at me and someone was like, please put Mike McDaniel
Who's my childhood friend now the head coach of the dolphins? Yeah next to big J
They're like trying to they're trying to fantasy book my life and being like you got to sit this person
Where are you gonna do you know we don't have to travel do we I don't know
Be it ever Katie's family's from yes from mess. All right. I'll do that. I'll do that
Yeah, it's just from framing here, but I don't want you to fucking Denver. I don't want to
Hey, I don't know anyway. I don't want to be I'm gonna fucking
Altitude sickness during your whole wedding.
He's a sucked dude, but he's like,
I'm gonna fucking hit it.
I don't care about love.
I didn't drink enough water.
It's fucking sucks.
If you get altitude sickness in Denver, you're a fucking...
Dude, I got altitude sickness like a mother.
Really?
Yeah, it was.
Oh, fuck.
You.
Yeah.
That's why.
Cause...
Drinking alcohol.
Covered for a lot.
No, I didn't drink alcohol.
Anyways, everyone's like,
everyone's like, you gotta drink water.
And I was like, fuck water.
Yeah, then they're like this.
They go, I need to sit down.
It's too much.
Yeah, dude, just living is too much.
Dude, by the way, it makes you a superhero
with boozing when you grow up there.
And then you go to like, fucking sea level.
And you're like, what's up, motherfucker?
It's our Montgomery career.
Yeah.
Sea level.
There was nobody's talking about your Montgomery career. Bobby, we don't even get it. Bobby. Yeah. I was trashing myself.
That that that can't make up. I don't make it up by when you trash yourself and
it bombs is like nothing happened. Shut up. No, it's not.
It's not you. You're not being by. A bomb is a bomb is a bomb. Hey. Yeah.
A bomb. I just not going Hey, I got a good
How did you do it man?
Uh, surprised her we were just where we are.
We win away.
He has skills.
He put it inside of his ass when she was pegging him.
She found it.
Yeah, I went, oh, oh, did baby find the nugget?
Baby find the nugget.
She went, this is gross, dude.
And I was, keep digging a little fucking worm.
He dig in and then she went, oh, gross, Dan. And I went, keep digging your little fucking worm. Keep digging.
And then she went, oh my god, I hit something.
I go, a milk, a milk.
And that's like, he's not shooting all over the place
that she fucking, you know, I'm gonna shit covered right now.
You end up a dill thing.
And I went, I would keep the change, you filthy animal.
No, we went away to the cat skills.
Like fucking Jack Benny.
Yeah, he started doing like an old-timey bit
We did we actually played the piano on a champagne
I went play me off Katie now play with me for the rest of my life
Patrick Swayze teach you the dance
Oh
Try it up what do you mean really the leg from dirty dance and his gone? It's just a field now. They shot it in Virginia
No, they shot it in the cat skills
Well, the lake is in the cat's place in the cat skills. No, the lake that they shot it
Fucking your
It's producer. Well, I watch the fucking thing on Netflix. Why do you have to hate women bring up the lake?
Because it was
Lewis, this is how you ask for it new Kelly for Fistuca, can we please see the clip?
The clip.
There we go.
Mysterious dirty leg filming up with, yeah, there you go.
Oh, there it is.
Where is it?
It's gone.
That's what it was.
Go back.
One of the top say is filling up.
No, go down.
Filling up with water 12 years after it dried up.
Oh, now it's filling back up.
Bobby, you're wrong.
Yeah, but it dried up.
Hembroke, Virginia.
Oh.
Wow. And point goes to list. All right. It's filling back up Bobby your wrong. Yeah, but it dried up. Hembroke Virginia. Oh
Wow Point goes the list all right. Well, it did dry out my original point. So did your fucking wife's
I don't like you're doing Dennis Miller. I don't like the Dennis Miller years of Joe's career
Where so you did it you come up was it at night was it after?
Set the set the tone. So Danny, I'm doing not the tone.
Yeah, yeah, you pretend you can. Oh, God, you get enough.
Fucking horny. You fucking, you fucking, you fucking, you fucking, you
fucking, you. I want, I want to pack my cat in your ass.
I'm just on the fucking accent alone. What are you from fucking Vermont?
So bad so bad my kick no, no, no, that is to try that again. I'm gonna pick my kick no no
What are you?
Fucking horrible are you too are Ari's let's hear your fucking He's from Boston
A W Yeah, I like that. Yeah, well I wasn't saying it was I was pork your car was packing my or packing my cock
I was packing my cat. Yeah, that's what you're saying pack my cat. It's cock. Oh my cock
Cock I want to pack my cork in your ass
You're making my penis going to pack my cork in your ass. I know. I'm telling you right now, you're making my penis
go into my body.
I'm going to put my penis into your body, dear.
There we go.
Now this is more than, that was more the speed
this past weekend.
All right.
So what happened?
It do.
Now, wait a minute.
Get looking, Kate, his eyes.
No, no, no, no.
Looking, Kate, you're not going to besmirch.
Who the fuck?
One of the best moments of my life
by looking at this dirty border.
Look who's here. Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh, fucking. one of the best moments of my life by looking at this dirty border.
Hey,
oh,
Oh,
fucking
Nate Bugatti everybody.
Nancy.
Nancy.
Oh,
Bugatti.
Abogutsha.
Dan,
Dan just gotten gay.
She's telling us the story.
Are we going to catch you up?
Are you fear is got a special,
Mike Finietta baby,
Bobby lost a bunch of weight. I, my net worth is terrible.
Is net worth? He's the poorest person in the room.
It's hilarious. Almost three times.
You have 10 million, but your net worth is 10 million, by the way.
Ah, that's low.
Oh, you looked it up.
No, there's one.
Is this on?
Yeah.
Oh, you need the thing?
Oh, I got a plug.
No, it's, it's plugged in.
I turned it all over.
He turned it all over. It was Dan's weekend in the cat skills.
Is this thing going to be?
Hello, hello.
There's a network thing on mine that says, it's all wrong.
And it says like my, my like brothers,
or my brother's name is Wurf, Wurf, or Getsey.
That's a great name.
Can we start calling your brother then?
In his state university, which is in all black college.
I didn't go to any college.
Yeah.
And it's like, that's the biggest, most furious.
I don't believe.
I would not step foot on one of those liberal campuses.
Nate, my uncle that I don't talk to found one of those articles
that are like written by AI.
It doesn't make any sense.
It says I have black hair and I'm five foot six.
And it says I'm worth like two million dollars.
And my shitty uncle that I don't talk to emailed me it
and he goes, congratulations on getting married.
This was like a year ago.
I was like, I'm not married.
And then I looked at the article and I was like,
hey, do you leave me alone?
It's a road back.
I was like, I don't want to fuck it.
You told your uncle to leave you alone?
Yeah, he sucks.
Everyone has shitty uncle too.
I love all my, I love all too. I love all my great.
I love home.
By the way, Bob, the first time I open for you, Bobby.
The first time I was on a suini on a wanta or on a wanta.
Whatever it was.
I was only on suini.
I was on the on to.
Bobby was driving back to his apartment in the city.
And I was telling him about my uncle and I didn't know, Bobby.
And I'm telling him about how my uncle sucks or whatever.
And Bobby is smoking a cigarette.
He goes, you fuck that guy.
You ever see him fucking punch him in the fucking face.
And I remember being like, thank you for standing up for me.
What happened to that guy?
I got to know.
I told him to fuck off.
No, me, the fucking that Bobby.
I don't know.
You became a record producer with those glasses.
I should start smoking again.
I'm start smoking again.
Yeah. Go discover a boy band.
You look like the guy that does an impersonation of Bobby Kelly. You look like your pastor.
This is the guy that you guys Bobby that 50 years ago. You look like a civil war ghost. Oh, thank
you. There it is. Bomb that up. Yeah. Swish. Good to be home, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Lieutenant like you were an officer, huh? You were an officer. Yeah, we did some stuff.
You know, we had a, we got another thing brewing up down there.
We're coming. Don't worry.
There's a sequel on the way.
I remember this recently.
Do you remember this?
I don't know if we've ever spoken about this.
The first time I opened up for Nate on the road,
years and years and years ago, we're in a hotel.
And like Nate's a legit Christian.
And he always has been since the moment I met him.
And I had this idea that I was good
When I first started going the road I was like I'm gonna steal the
666 page out of every Bible in every hotel damn your bad dude
Nights even right now shake you
Yeah, why would you do that? I mean I don't need for Lewis. He's like and then all assemble it all together
And frame picture. I just can't believe there's that many pages
Yeah, so I started to rip it out of the Bible in front of me
Jesus and the look on his face. He was like man, what are you doing?
You can't do that. I was kidding. I wasn't really gonna do it
It was like after one end of the Bible. I
That's why we're friends because I'll know once we die we'll never see each other again
You know it's a one serving friendship.
I know.
What's your plan?
I know what it's just going.
I've read all about this.
This isn't forever.
There's just one mortal life.
They don't have Bibles anymore in hotels.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
I've seen a baguette in Vegas.
Did you open the drawer and not in Vegas?
There was no Bible in the... I think less, drawing out in Vegas. There was no Bible in the
I look I think less there's less. There's no Bible. There's probably less Bible, but I think
all I mean, I mean, that's a majority. You guys also. Yeah, they do. I think I did say it. I
think that I know, not you. I did. I did say it as a Gideon. I did say it. Yeah, you don't know
that. I look at every time I go. I look to do you think, Oh, what are you doing? I'm making this up.
Yes. I think you're
I do. He's ripping pages out of everything. He's a
bougie doggy don't come at me like that dude. I'm trying to figure out this fake web science as you have a higher
network to me coming at me like that. Yeah, he's really used to saying
your I'm you're a
If you're staying close to the Bible, he's being he's treating you boogeyy Lewis is net worth is literally everything he owns. They counted on my body right now.
No, no.
I carry all of my money at all times.
He doesn't call it out because of his net worth.
I gotta put on my net worth.
They include his rent.
Yeah.
All my drugs.
That wasn't terrible.
I call for it.
You do have a lot of drugs, man.
What?
How is that your party the other day?
First of all Lewis puts on the best party party. Well drugs were at this party was a kids party
When the kids party was over
They became the adult party pulled out a fucking giant ziplock bag full of fucking weed. Oh, that's not a drug
This is a weed. It's legal. Also, listen to Jersey. It's legal is legal in New York
I was so it's not a drug of it's a weed. It's legal. It also lives in New Jersey. It's legal. Is legal in New York. Oh, so it's not a drug of illegal drug.
Yeah, I'm a drug of drug of plant that makes so
perky drug. Perky sets on a drug.
Not a plant.
You idiot drug.
It's a drug.
You guys doorks as perkis that grow in trees.
Bobby Woods, Joe.
Thank you.
1974 for weed.
No.
You tell him he's done.
I was.
Tell him.
Tell him, Bobby.
You went to jail when you were four?
That's when Bobby quit drinking
His his his dude I fuck I tipped over the sippy cup. I said no more there. I'm fucking out
I can't Apple juice and vodka was too good for me. We're all like in our 30s. Don't Bob
Who quit really when you quit? He's like 11?
What happened to you dude? You were learning multiple patient tables
and knocking and booze out of your life?
No, this is gonna happen.
I was gonna swing my way.
Listen, you fucking pussies.
I had a rough life.
You guys were fucking doing bullshit.
And me and Lewis were on the streets trying to make up all.
But I also have not quit.
I'm still boozing like a fucking man.
And I, like, you had, what do you have a year of like?
37 years of sobriety.
How many years were you drinking?
I drank from 10 to 11.
I was drinking Seagramp 7 to 10.
And I quit when I was 15, drinking in drugs.
And I did drugs while you were a little fucking pussy up
and we're in Rockville, Rockville,
Rockaway Plans.
They have a thing you can roll your cart goes up backwards.
Yeah.
Remember we drove to that.
We did.
What is that?
Spook our road.
Well, you can't say that.
Right.
Yeah.
The most has got some opinions.
Let him out.
Yeah.
I blocked.
Yeah.
Porto Monquiavina.
You didn't go.
Great place.
I got a spade shoot.
I'm not.
It's right there. Jesus Christ. What?
Yeah, this is locked behind a big money wall.
Yeah, this is unhackable.
You got to pay.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
What is Spook Rock Road?
Well, the Spook Rock.
What is it?
It's a place for us.
It's a dead shot.
Come on, dude.
That was not okay.
That was killed.
He was stabbed.
He was stabbed. My son, dude. That was not okay. That was not okay. He was pulled up.
You dad was killed.
He was stabbed.
He was stabbed.
He was stabbed.
My son thinks he died in a car accident.
I don't know.
I don't really.
And he was telling me he was a fighter pilot.
I've always wanted to think that.
I've always wanted to think that guy.
I wanted him to know that it was somebody that did something wrong.
I said a drunk driver killed him.
So he knows there's like a person that did something wrong. That he might send my dad.
Oh my god.
There's going to be a moment where James is dramatic when he's older
and he goes, my grandfather died because of a drunk driver.
And then he's going to go, hey, I know.
You know what, he was, he was a pin.
He's one day he's going to go.
He deserved to be gutted like a little.
I already make a shirt with it.
One day he's going to go to Lewis,
because I think I'll start calling you Lewis.
You know, you say in my pop-hop was stabbed by a transformer. I really like to I really like to I really like to I really like to I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to
I really like to I really like to I really like to to I really like to I think he's going to tell them the truth.
I almost told them as we were reading and Harry Potter,
when Harry Potter found out that his parents were actually killed by Voldemort and Jonathan
Carax.
There was a moment.
There was a moment.
There was a moment where you're like, here we go.
Let him lose.
This is the moment.
Lewis, I fucking hate you.
You had a moment. Better if Lewis might be it Lewis fucks it up because
Your grandpa's a wizard
Your grandpa's a wizard any fucking got killed by the old aboard you cannot be named
So why
Hey, I have this be my duty as Godfather to tell him?
Yeah, that's how I'll just pop in.
How you doing?
Neighbor Getzi.
You might probably don't remember me, but you're grandfather.
I was around from three to six months.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you're holding a new MMA fights together.
They don't stab each other.
Nate.
I know, but you see what he's like, uh, good.
You're your grandfather's dad.
What are they?
No, dude.
Wow.
I can't believe they know.
And some guy knocked down on the eighth round with Jake Paul.
But anyway, you're, uh, you're, you're.
Well, look at that grounded pound.
Speaking of ground, your grandfather's not.
But he's the grounded bounce. Wow, look at that ground in pound. Speaking of ground. Your grandfather was not the guest.
He's just grounded.
You're going to post snap of the streets of like a night.
But also now your son has to be afraid of dying in a car wreck.
Yeah, well, he's not of you.
He's not he's not walking around with anxiety.
I feel like there's more anxiety.
Are you kidding me?
The son of Lewis?
Yeah.
You have to have constantly.
Games is you walk into a target and you're like,
yeah, dad's going to blow. No, James James.
It's funny. You say that's going to blow up.
G does blow up. Yeah.
Yeah. James absolutely a couple of moments in front of them.
But nothing that crazy. That you know, at the, uh, the thing was,
that was indoor skydiving, but I was completely justified.
It ended with literally both his son and my son going, damn,
Bob, you're kind of a pussy
in there, dude.
Damn, look at that.
You Alfred, you Alfred Bobby in front of his son.
What we put out is son lives with you.
We max max, Max, Max, Max, Max Lewis is dad.
He goes, I'm staying with my uncle Bobby, but my dad Lewis, I see a real bad ass.
Lewis is teaching him for the next five years to be a man.
No, we played good cop, bad cop, but I will say good cop I will say, I went into that role comes off like some bitch shit. But
what you, you did was our red cop is fucking like, I have. Don't you back up to what
happened? You're 10 minutes. Stop this. I had to fucking become the woman in the relationship.
It was because I had to protect the king. Calm down, calm down, honey.
No, I didn't.
First of all, we were at the thing.
We bought indoor skydiving for Christmas presents.
What did you want to do?
I don't know what it is.
I'm starting investment there.
I got some top golfs outside of Nashville that are doing
quite well.
Explain indoor sky.
It's like Shaq.
He's got 145 laundry man.
He goes, I'm also getting in bed with Papa Jones.
Explain.
Please explain.
I just opened my 17th derrick queens.
That might be the Greg D'Rotto.
Like you know, an indoor skydiving is.
I mean, it's what it is.
And that's the, with the D'Rotto, said it with, on last comic statement when he said what is it was it was
Craig Robinson Craig Robinson was like we're in a break and he was like everyone
check out my movie hot tub time machine Draldo goes what's it about
what happened so you go there indoor sky
right Robinson really got the last laugh there though am guys? Yeah, that's he's pretty fat now
He's next yeah, I don't know you know Greg is a plaque on the wall at the stress factory black
Of the wall. Yeah, what?
And we all long to have a plaque at the stress
Is it the payphone
He we go to this thing we're sitting there where you know where the kids are all suited up ready to go and uh they're waiting in line and you
you Jim no did max max fucked up max max let me explain it it's my kid yeah okay
and he's max started the story max got a little nervous it was his turn he backed out he goes out he goes out in and goes, I'll go next. Let me in the
girl behind him. You go, right? Well, James already did a flight. James went first.
Did great. I mean, because he was so he'd and collab. Yeah, but the guy was holding James bum like holding his back with his finger
No, I mean like yeah, James went and did it and then Max was supposed to go next and Max was nervous He built so he let the girl behind him go ahead of him the girl had girl had glasses
She gets in the glasses rip off her fucking face go up into the fan
and face, go up into the fan and face. What's the hell do you?
Sure.
Yeah.
Who wants to get all the, all the, all the, all the,
the, in the goggles.
She had glasses on, underneath the goggles.
But that's not what, the goggles fell off.
No, it was not.
It was.
The goggles.
Let's go go.
Yeah.
Googlet.
We got it.
Yeah.
It was not, that is 100% not true.
I remember her glasses.
I remember her glasses.
You were too busy being afraid of the staff. I was afraid of the staff. I remember her glasses. I remember her glasses. You were too busy being afraid of the staff.
I was afraid of the staff.
I remember.
I was just scared.
Dude, they know so much about giant fans.
I'm so scared of the fans.
I was afraid of you.
Regardless, the glasses hit the fan.
Well, James is into a skydiving.
Because your grandpa was killed.
First of all, he's a villain. He's just knife in there. God, as like your family training.
Yeah. The goggles are you they don't break their rubber. They do. They do.
They do. They do.
Roller's break. That's how his son was born.
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Listen, it was her glasses came glasses came off smashed they had to shut the whole thing down because the glass
They had to make sure they shattered they shattered and there was shards of glass of flying around flying through the fan
Right and every time they went to try to reshotted turn it down and turn around like they just need to hear like a little
Like a little piece of glasses
So they couldn't bring it so it was they made us wait for a long time
I want to and they worked our half of glasses. So they couldn't bring it. So it was they made us wait for a long time. And they
worked our half. It was very very airline like there. It was like the first 45 to 50 minutes or so.
I didn't realize I was kind of sitting there. The kids were playing. But I really see him
tension when he when the lids when he's when it started boiling. The lid was going. Hey,
man. You know, I was talking to him trying to, keep it gays. And he's like, hey, is it me or we have not flown in?
Look, look, look, there's such a mirror.
We've been grounded for too long.
I was like, I think they're working it out.
But this is a long, fucking out.
They've got to say something though.
You can't just leave me sitting there like a fucking jerk off.
And Louis, the other families were like, yeah.
So he became the kid. Everyone started getting upset. And I started like, like. So he became the kid.
Everyone started getting upset.
And then I started like cheat, like being the fucking
Lewis Levy, and the guy came over and
starts talking to him and he disrespected Lewis.
How did he disrespect you?
I think he walked away from you or something.
No, I was a little bit aggressive.
A little bit, right?
I was holding the kids, they were shaking.
And the kids were fucking cheering me.
They were like this. We were all like this. It's okay. It's okay. They're going
Bobby. You're our new mommy. They're both breastfeeding. God, this is the most
amount of milk I've ever seen in a person. Back from Bobby. My God. Oh my
Lord. I'll never starve again. Oh my God. This milk every baby that walked
through with Bobby just said. Bobby. I'm starting to leak. Oh my God, this milk. Every baby that walked through the Bobby D's day,
Bobby gets lit.
Dude, I'm starting to leak.
I'm hearing another baby cry, dude.
So what happens?
So the guy, I'm going, like, what's going on here?
They got to a little thing.
No, so the guy walked away.
He was the way.
It pissed me the fuck off.
Right, what is it?
They would not give refunds.
Right.
Well, they did.
No.
They let you come back.
Yes. It's not a refund, dude. Well, first of all, I paid for it. I don't know.
It doesn't matter. It was a gift of James. It was a gift from me and Don to
keep it.
Let me say something very clearly. Okay.
We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, I'm not saying I'm not saying I paid for it like that. I'm saying it was a present sort of the same. It's even. It's all. And every time it comes over my heart. So I will say that
I probably give for you. Listen, and you're fit. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like here's a gift for the kids.
Like James is one of our Max's best friend.
He's family.
So we wanted to do something.
And his dad is not doing that well.
Yeah, I reject his dad's dad's dad's dad's little better than me on his fucking.
At least twice you get his Bobby.
I don't do well because this gun is like a rent.
I got 800,000 in the back.
But one of the houses you can drive.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
You can't drive.
We took the wheels off the tiny one.
Sorry.
So anyways, I was just sitting there trying to protect the kids
because I know Lewis.
And once the other families went, yeah.
And Lewis is like, I got it.
I got it.
And he went over and goes, excuse me. Excuse me. And the guy was went, yeah. And Lewis is like, I got it. I got it. And he went over, go, excuse me, excuse me.
And the guy was like, sir, and he had that tone,
that, sir, we're doing the best we can.
This is procedure.
And Lewis says, I don't give a fuck about, listen,
we went and he went off and the guy got a little uppity with.
Yeah, it was fucking ghetto, doggy.
He was a fucking other poor weekend.
Yeah, he was a poor weekend.
So then it turned into a
fucking. I started smelling each other but like like a like a like a like a papa. What are you gonna do
race? Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I'm gonna be like, but I'm gonna be like Bobby's going. It's time right
little boys. Just stay here with me. Well, Max was like, yeah, get him, Lewis. Yeah, fuck. James
is like not again. Yeah, James is, James sees it seven days a week.
Max is like, dude, I love an Uncle Lewis,
goes fucking crazy.
So you're saying an illegal indoor scriven,
Skydiving ring, in New Jersey was not professional.
What you're saying?
What do you mean,
sounds illegal?
Sounds illegal.
Sounds illegal.
Just gonna guys back yard with a big fan.
Yeah.
We'll throw them up.
Let me help the land
Well, I like you treat this place like it's a Disney world. You're like I can't believe can you play this guys?
Like that?
Roger, I do know this thing is a pretty impressive facility. It's pretty impressive
Yeah, it was and he went at it with the guy did you win?
Did we get our money back? No, we got vouchers to come back another day and I yelled we will never be back
Yeah, and I'm like
We want to come back. No, we're never not to this location. We'll be at one of your sister companies
We never went back, but he
Max really was he was really disappointed in me. He was really we were driving on his head like what he was like Lewis was so cool
Really? I love it. I was like Lewis was so cool. Really?
I love it. I was like, Hey, I go listen, it's not you don't want to yell at people like that.
You can handle it a different way. He goes that. That's the way to handle it.
Yeah, oh, he's crazy. Then I drove up next to Bobby in my outie.
I don't like that. Hey, Max, we're having kid. Hey, Max, they're going.
Hey, Max, we're having candy for breakfast.
Hey, Max, we're having a kid. Hey, Max, they go. Hey, Max, we're having candy for breakfast.
No, Max had you fucking suck. He max goes, can I please drive with him?
That's so funny. So I'm in my truck alone.
Yeah, trying to have a James, James tries to make you feel better. James is a sweetie. So he gets in. He goes, hey, it's okay.
Is this the day that made you lose weight when they didn't get all the way up in the fan when you got in? Yeah, they go.
We got it cranked up as far as it goes.
Bobby's this.
I'll just point it.
There they go.
He's not going right.
Yeah, that's just the technique.
Bobby's just laying on the bottom of the net.
I was like, he goes cranked up.
He goes, can I have a word with you on the side?
Listen, I got this thing on a loan.
Yeah.
I can't let it try to long.
It's a lever that says low power medium power
high power and holy shit. I was good. You pulled that out. I didn't think you were going
to do it. I was nervous. Dude, did that hurt though? Max going like Lewis ruled. Well,
look, it kind of turned me on. Anyways, Lewis, I did turn into the bitch. I was like, you
who? He just, he likes when I get a little alpha, a little Latino. Yeah, it was, I always liked it. I like it if I'm at a safe distance.
It was, it was, if I have no involvement in this.
I don't know, he goes off, I've come down a lot, by the way.
It's very scary.
When you go off, it's scary.
I don't call that often.
Because I have to, I gotta do, I can't back them up.
I gotta protect the kids.
I gotta get them out of that.
Classic hunter-gatherer relationship.
Yeah, you would be in the boat on the Titanic.
You would have walked off. I need to put my children on here. I go that way.
You're playing the same song. Play Pantera.
If we're going to sink, we're going to sink to something that rocks ass.
I'm heckling the band. You fucking who plays a cello? What are you an Asian bitch?
But it max ever get to go?
No, neither one of them.
Not a jam.
What?
James Flick.
Oh, James went.
Max never went.
Yeah.
I mean, we're going to back.
I still have the tickets.
Have you just given Max's voucher to James?
What do you mean?
We got two new vouchers.
I know, but it seems like Max doesn't.
Well, Max will go.
I want to show up right before y'all get in and just throw goggles in there.
Literally.
Well, here's the girl who's glasses.
Do you want to go with it?
It was goggles.
It was not.
My thing was this.
They could have.
They could have.
They could have.
Why would they literally give us?
Why would they let you put something on this break in the thing?
Why would they let you?
Where's the thing?
If they follow up your head,
that you put them on the goggles over them.
You're fucking wrong.
No, I'm not.
I won't do the
God's I swear my son's like I swear my fucking big life off
I swear I'm not
His
I'm gonna die more value. Yes, you have to put up two things
The place they give a PlayStation or something I
Sir your kids half white made my son get son. Maybe I'll son get fucking butt fuck to death by a giant block.
Can I just say this as an outsider and this makes more sense for it to be glasses because
the goggles wouldn't break because I don't break goggles every time.
They don't break because the goggles don't fly off your head.
Okay, can I ask you?
Can I ask one question?
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Why would they give you something that if it comes off, it breaks.
It doesn't come off.
What?
It does. What was the fucking front of the goggles, man, of plastic?
Plastic.
They broke.
They did not.
I'm telling you they broke.
Our glasses went in the back.
You're a moron.
You're not supposed to go on with your dumb glasses.
The guy can check it.
It will under a goggles.
He's making up a whole, by the way, we told the story on Legion of Skanks.
I'll bet you $100.
When was the first time you were out there?
I'll bet you $100.
That our Legion of Skanks said we said it was goggles.
That no, it was glasses. I don't know what we said. I was like, of skanks that we said was goggles that no it was glasses
I don't know how are you proving it then I'm proving it will go back. I'll go back check the the news
I'll go back the blog you're asking about who was the cold ones or glasses they go that guy died like
James is cool. He's probably awake. Yeah, James is probably doing his homework awake
Max is just doing pushups pretending to be Lewis
James is probably doing his homework awake. Max is just doing pushups pretending to be Lewis.
He goes, he goes, Mom, am I point a weekend?
No.
Let's vote.
Do you think?
Do you think?
I'm just going to say, yeah, let's vote.
I'll vote on it.
I'll vote on it.
Why are there proof?
And why are the proof that I'm saying is valid?
Let them vote on it.
Let me make a point.
No, because you got to make the point.
Let them vote.
No. Let me make a point for they vote. Why? to make the point. Let them vote. And then you make your point. Let me make a point for they vote.
Why would you?
Why?
Because I don't want them to pick yourself.
Good.
We told the story fresh.
The two days after it happened, I'm going to go to the skanks.
So we knew exactly what happened.
You're misremembering because you're an old hag.
You're an old fag.
So.
Wow.
All right.
Wow.
Right.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Nate, who do you think is right?
You know, I'll go with Bobby because I don't think you guys are going to go with Bobby. And I already went a rock. Yes, kid. Yeah. Wait, who do you think is right? Uh, you know, there's, I'll go with Bobby, because I don't think you guys are going to
go with Bobby.
And I already went with Bobby.
Uh, I could go with Bobby.
I can go with Bobby.
You guys are, you guys are wrong.
It's, it's glasses.
Why would it be goggles?
Yeah.
goggles don't break.
I'll go with Lewis.
Later you goggles are glasses.
I'll go goggles.
How would you go?
I'll go goggles.
No, you just went with me.
You can, I can go with it.
I'm the only one who can you prove we can go
This is the week of the week of the stanks episode where we talked about it in depth
What the fuck does that mean because lead you to skanks is you were on the show you your time the podcast
You were on the show you told the story you fat fucking he's not fat anymore. You can't say that. Yeah, you're
I know Bobby looks much better now than you. Yeah, it's getting
all white. Yeah, there's another Bobby walking around. They use their all of that and build
another thing. They go Bobby to yeah, Bobby to come down. He opened. Lewis, how percentage-wise,
how sure are you 100% 100 and how 110? That's impossible. That's not not. I'll tell you why. Okay. First of all, the goggles that they give you
protect your eyes from the wind. They would not give you something like they
wouldn't give you something that would break. If something falls off, it flew it
in to the fan. Yeah. They don't have a net or something.
Blue out to the fan. If you put plastic in a fan it would rip not smash
Whatever your dumb black particles from glass. It wasn't class. It was plastic. It was shards
I'm starting to think it might be Louis. I'm 100% positive. Yeah, Louis's
Conviction is you told the story
Honestly, can I say something right now?
Bobby when you were when you were fat, you were a much better
arguer.
I'm just going to say.
You know what?
I'm back.
Fuck you.
And fuck you.
Thank you Nate.
Appreciate it.
Oh Nate Nate.
I didn't fully trade.
I'm just saying lose to starting to get me by his
disfigured.
How is your passion as pulled me?
Yeah.
I'm going to get buried.
I wasn't.
I would let you take you have confection.
You're dumb. What? Confections. This is big. Yeah, I'm gonna get very I wasn't I'll let you take you have confection your dumb what?
I'll have to
This is how good you know what that was close to bomb the other but honestly got me
You're dumb. Okay. Think about it. Okay. I'm dumb. So what I'm a dumb guy that thinks Lewis is right
Let me try to get you back Jeremiah Johnson, okay? I'm gonna chop this big tree
I'll take that the glass get you back Jeremiah Johnson, okay? I'm gonna chop this big tree.
I'll take that.
The glasses.
Shut up.
You know what the glasses they use?
The beard bandwagon, I mean.
You know the glasses they use, the sky-deving,
they're rubber, they're made of plastic.
The this part that goes in the face with rubber,
the front part is made of hard plastic.
Hard plastic, right?
Some would say plastic five or six,
if you're in the plastic one.
It wasn't a tiny pair of glasses, it was a big fucking thing someone bring up with the glasses to have it the simul we're Kelly for stew
We can all visualize it everyone knows exactly what we're talking about the same one
You would get in a shop like like like like stuff world we're two someone in the chat find the episode where we talk about it
And finally look at Bobby Kelly and gasses on every dark harm
Search for him find right after the thing,
and find the moment where Bobby tells the story,
and he will tell it as goggles.
It's not goggles.
Her glass is fell off.
Hold on, let's take a moment.
I have an idea.
Take a moment.
Yeah.
Take a breath.
Both of you.
Breathe.
For a moment, open up the possibility.
In your mind, let your mind open like a sky.
OK. And open up the possibility that you mind. Let your mind open like a sky. Okay. And open up the
possibility that you could. And indoor sky that you could. That you could be wrong. Maybe
I'm wrong. Me? Yeah. Both of you. No, he's wrong. Well, then if we're both wrong, there's
the whole point of the argument. That may be is dumb open up the possibility that it's the glasses that have thrown us off all these.
You're wrong. Those are goggles.
I mean, that's like, that was perfect.
How did you get cut from that movie? That was perfect. That's really good.
So anyways, you fucking snapped and he turned me into the girl.
Your mommy, your mommy, Bobby.
Look, if I'm in a situation, though, I'll be honest out of anybody in this room,
I'd want him. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Yes, our toughest friend. I mean, it will go. It was likes to go you.
It would go you and then you.
I think I could fight. And I would think of a brief for a fights. It's not a fight. It's something went down. I
would want meaning like a customer service issue. Anything anything like a
network. I'm gonna tell you about cost or option. Somebody bringing that
pancake to Santa Waffle. I would want you. Not a volcano. No. What? Like he's
gonna fight the volcano. Excuse me. It's I'm the point of rigorados big lava. Oh my god it burned off my hair. I didn't think this grew James your father was
Stead for your father was your grandfather was also eating by a volcano
lava you're out of your mind worst guy to have why why you talking physical threat
What are you talking a waitress rings the physical threat? What are you talking? You're talking a waitress brings the wrong order.
I'm great.
You're not the fucking ass.
I'm the fucking ass.
I'm the fucking ass.
You're gonna fucking start shaking.
Hey, you're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
You're gonna eat it.
I'm going to put fear in her fucking soul.
I'm going to put fear in her fucking soul. I'm going to put fear in her fucking soul. I'm going to put fear in her fucking soul. I'm going to put fear in her fucking soul. I, you will never get in one or wrong. The first one.
No, no, no.
You don't want fifth gear Lewis.
You want old third gear Danny.
So coming in there, I'm making her feel good.
I'm telling her working conditions are a little way.
And your food won't get spinning and mine will.
No, and I want to get the right food.
I want her to spend it by the way.
No, no, no, no.
We're going to have a great meal.
No, I would rather than just run it with she walks away.
He goes, be.
Yeah, you know, he's a good noisy back. So she goes, beep. Yeah, I do noise. There's no way to back her up. She goes, I love
sweet heart. I love. It's a shit. Oh my God. She goes, do Ronnie
Dangerfield? Like, hey, I have some pancakes for no
chug. No, because Dan's almost as bad as Lewis now.
Because it's been going to Alan too long. And Alan's like, you're a pussy.
Yeah, he is. He's right. I'm I get the wrong man. Dan has like,
Dan, hold on. Fucking dude. You fucking bitch. I don't do that
That's a good big
You guys don't even know me. This is not my time right now. No, but has it Dan. Can I say this? Yeah, you're right
Joe and I've noticed that last year or so you snap. Yeah, he's tough guy
You're a snap. I used to snap Louis knew me when I snapped when I was under cover cycle pop
Yeah, snap crackle soda pop. I used to fucking when I used to.
I was a crackle crackle came from.
No, I don't know.
No, you stick up for yourself way too much.
Woo.
I never did it.
It's too, yeah, but it's 38 years on this planet with that.
No, that's not true.
You big touch and it's like, whoa.
I just had this.
We're in Vegas at the sports book and we're talking about comics.
You start talking like this.
That guy sucks.
This guy's like, he sucks.
This guy sucks and I'm like, dude, there's like nine fans right here.
They're really weird.
I'll put cases on everyone.
They're wearing audience laments,
it's like, I don't give a shit, and I'm like,
who are you crazy?
Who are you saying, sir?
Oh, of them.
Oh, my God, who do you want to know?
You whispered him in your right hand.
I was going after everybody.
I forgot specifically who he was.
I don't remember either.
Whisper, don't lie, five.
No, I'm gonna try to remember.
There's no, most of the lineup. Alala, alala, alala, I'm gonna try to remember. There's no most of the lineup
I'm talking about how the festival could have been planned better
I've come down any massive. Yeah, so if I honestly I've taken that energy. Thank you And I use it. He used my energy now. How did you do it? And that's all I got a wife?
I'm just
pussy. He's got a big bitch. No, I'm just happy. You're now. I think I you I get a lot of money in the bank
Why wouldn't you be happy? Not that much half as much as me. Uh, no, I think I might have less stresses that make me so
Now I deal with the stress versus dealing with the stress of being broke the stress of having a dysfunctional relationship the stress of like all the other shit whatever the stress is just sort of the stress.
Yeah, boring.
I don't even know what that meant.
I don't I had me lost stress.
That was like that was like a that was like a thing where I would have to reread it four times.
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
I don't even know
What are the books? Stress is the stress, but now it's the stress of the stress that wouldn't be on an a wall
You guys cover my nose is bleeding
This dress
We can be another while I love a ice coffee. Oh, I love a green tea. Yeah. That's right. You guys would take your pants off and rub Dix.
I'm engaged. So it's not what I'm fucking up.
Yeah. It's like hot or Kelly for stuka. Oh, that's how you get up with honey.
Not with all right. Listen, you get a tea a tea with honey.
Green tea green tea. No honey. Am I a don't can lie latte with
a milk and a with one squeeze my tits
the other free. What do you
want? Is this what you need?
Uh, an ice coffee with cream.
Ice coffee with cream. What do
you want? I'm alright. Mine.
I think a diet coke.
They a diet coke. Yeah. You got
it. A diet coke. Yeah.
Take my out. Damn, dude.
I want to tell you how poor
you're fucking sloughed with
nothing in it. What?
The sugar. I'll pull your staff
is it? I want to know your staff's not worth. What did that
cord don't go through? It's will go through that. That's a what if you get
bounced? We're sending with a cash option. Should we pull up the
sores? I love you. Thank you. What?
Ice coffee with wow, dude. He just green tea with honey, diet coke. Yeah.
Hot coffee with an old book latte with one
splendid. Oh my god.
Let's check.
Let's check.
Text him, Nicole.
There's a problem with my fucking old milk latte.
Suarez, I got you.
Oh, milk, milk.
You wanted an oat milk.
Okay.
Milk.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
What an asshole.
Oh, you want a shot.
Oh, milk.
You want to shut the fuck up. What? He mean like a you're a shot. Oh, come here. Shut the fuck up.
What's he mean like a tree?
You wanna think I did it?
You think you're a milk?
Oh, milk latte.
Stop saying oak.
Oak.
You keep saying oak.
I do not.
There you do.
Dude.
All right, taxi.
He'll taxi to you, man.
What do you want?
What do you want, Bobby?
I'm good.
I don't want anything.
I got the water and I'm good with this. His fucking lap bands about to fucking...
He doesn't have a lap band. He has a sleeve dude full sleeve.
He's got fucking flames going down his stomach. He's got a dragon full sleeve.
He's got a whole Chinese dragon. He's got a fucking pirate ship.
Dude, he has a fucking world war one battle scene. I'm gonna go home. These guys got two koi fish
One day's will poop it out. He's like
He just goes back to normal. Bobby
Don I think the sleeves out of me. There's a sleeve staying forever. It's not a sleeve dude
You know you you fucking said it's a sleeve. Yeah, five fucking times
It's called the gastric sleeve, but it's not a thing that they just make's a sleeve. Yeah, five fucking times. Listen, it's called the gastric sleeve,
but it's not a thing that they just make your stomach smaller.
Yeah.
The band is a little band that goes around your shit.
The sleeve, they just make your stomach smaller.
So my stomach's huge.
They make it the size of a banana.
When does it come back?
It can, if you can make your stomach bigger again.
You never want to do that though.
Why would you? Why would you? You can, but you don't. That's a can. It's so good,
dude. I have a lot of way to lose. I know, but I'm telling you right now. That was
fucking quick. I mean, I mean, we saw your bottom up. Yeah, you look like a weeble wobble.
We got it. But I'm sorry. I know. Okay. You know what it is is you look weak now
So
You play symbols and Gabby's
You're right now arm wrestling. Yes, dude comes it where I'm sitting you guys arm wrestle no good
This is no good
You don't want to be called out for it. Yeah, I'll go fucking arm wrestle
You look like you're back to the you're the monopoly guy and now you're like, where you been man?
Like you just retired off
I just haven't had
I just haven't had the I'm reading it. It's getting a bomb in. I never thought we'd see now that you guys shame me for saying this about it
Yeah, I hope someone fucking tears a rotator cups you hope you hope it's like the fly in one of their arms Bobby and
Water bottle make room for Lewis's arm to land. Hey, what's this podcast about?
About dudes being dudes
There we go. There we go straight up Bobby Lewis. They got no Mike move his Mike move arm wrestling
Guys, we're gonna have to call this fight
Hey, it's Dan Soder
Hey, what's up? It's your boy DS
Bob and Kelly on the right Louis
Stregum on the left
It's pronating this is this is oh
Bobby did a bit early
Lewis Lewis got you Lewis is much heavier than you are right now two out of three
Ready hold on guys hold your arms together hold them together. You can hold ready
Look at your pro. No, you gotta put it
Straight up wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Straight up ready wait wait wait wait wait the grip is all my grip is all good
It's back again go over the top
Wait wait wait
Oh Lewis got him do this is very strong. All right. it was the goggles. Now, let me do Joe.
What?
Come on.
What the fuck is that?
I bet you Bobby can be Joe.
Yeah, he's got bigger arms.
Yeah, of course.
Lewis is very good show to show.
Lewis got Joe got sleeves on his arms.
Yeah.
Check it out.
I liked it.
Thanks, man.
You got it.
Yeah.
Good job, guys.
You guys, yeah.
That was something.
That was really cool. It was good to have been job, guys, you guys. Yeah, that was something that was really cool.
That was good to have been doing this podcast a long time. Yeah, never
I mean, finally, finally, the arm wrestling happened. Yeah, so finally happened.
The prophecy of 2012 is half now. Somebody else has to host.
Why the fuck you're talking? You're gonna be gas, dude. I'm not gas. I'm good.
We can hear it. Gaswick Bobby. Gas digital. There it is.
Hey, I'm fucking rocking. I'm in the best shape I've been in in nine years.
Yeah, but you don't actually have a shape.
I would say like, you're like water.
Your shape is water.
Whoa.
Yo, you're getting that banana.
Oh, yeah, that was in a drum.
That was a flat tire.
I don't even know what it was.
That was in a joke.
It was worse than his riddle sentencing at earlier.
Yeah, what was it?
Stress on stress.
I got stress about stress and now stress is stress. Do you play Whirlpool? No, no
You're so playing Whirlpool. No, you're not. Why?
It's it's word of the day. You guess it. Louis is good at it. There's nothing I take a dump in the morning and look at Twitter
And I always see Louis being like got it today try fact today. I did Whirlpool Quarital on octurtal
Yeah, you're fucking nerdle
yeah
funny I like that why don't they pay you more money
has you're so good I don't think people know it
I don't like that I don't like dumb people who do get new words and that's how
they become smart and then they slip them in I don't like it people who do get new words and that's how they become smart. And then they slip them in.
I don't like it.
You're dumb.
You're anept.
Which was today's world world?
How many time, how many, how many time you got it for?
What happened? You have to spell it?
They give you clues.
So they, yeah, you, I'm just kidding.
Nobody cares.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Look at his dumb face. I, yeah. Oh. No, it is sweet that you thought somebody gave his shit. I'm just kidding, nobody cares. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's been sounded like an autograph. He said Raven, it's spelled R-E-Y.
Come on, this is fun.
This is good, clean fun.
Oh, those things.
Oh, that was terrible.
You'll see, both of you.
You'll see what?
That's something a shooter says.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Obviously.
Yeah.
Lewis would be the only mass shooter
that you would hear coming.
Oh, he'd be like, I'm going to shoot all over you.
I know.
I think this guy's going to be good.
They would be like, did you see it coming?
Like, there's multiple podcasts.
He cleared out.
Said the name.
Yeah.
He's pointing out and when the day he's going to do it,
quite the profile.
Oh, someone came back that quick, impossible. Yeah. He's fat out when the day he's gonna do it. You can build quite the profile. Oh someone came back that quick impossible
Yeah, it's that it's much he's gonna be out of breath and almost die when he gets up to stare
I didn't even want my drink. I just wanted to take off for a while
I just needed a break from his fucking awkward tortoise staring
That was good. I just was you know, we were looking to see if he came in when he said it
Yeah, it was fun. I just was you know, we were looking to see if he came in when you said it. Yeah, Max. He's got a
World of Four flights to stairs though.
Anyways, we got questions for you guys. We got questions. Yeah, friends want to talk to you guys because it's a big episode because you guys are on the
Rags the rags and it's a Nate Nate. I think who looks the most different from the first time you I think you
Remember you yeah, but I've been up and down. I've been here. You've been the same for a long time. You look the same. Yeah, you're the same. Dan looks very different.
Yeah, it looks different, but you lost a lot of weight and somehow got good looking. I don't
know. Yeah, they got hot. Yeah, they got a redneck hot. Yeah, like country hot. Yeah, like redneck
sex. I think I'm I think what's that? The same. You'd say that redneck sex like redneck when they find I mean, what should I ready be in here?
He passed out on the stairs just dead on the stairs
He's covered in hot everything
There's some African guy going why is this man dead right here?
Liz Liz who is the man that he's dead on this day?
Liz is fine. I don't know why this man is dead. Thank you. That's for reggaer coke, but that's all right
I'm joking. I'm joking. You just run down here? better Yeah, yeah, we got we got this funny
What are you doing Joe?
You just got a fat butt. I don't like Joe's back dude. I don't know Joe had cake
No, he's got donks dude Joey cakes
Joey cakes is perfect. Oh, Joey cake. dude, Joe with all that ass, dude.
Why'd you get a big deal?
Damn, Joe, can we watch you put, Joe, can we watch you put it in the jeans?
Can you do that thing where the butt drops in your jeans?
Oh sure, I was doing squats today, you guys.
There you were.
There you were.
Yeah, doggy.
All right, let me show you.
Yeah, go ahead, Joe, show a nice ass.
Look at that.
Yeah, dude, show that butt. Put it in the jeans.
Yeah, dude, put it up.
Pull it up.
Sheath underwear, nice.
Pull it up in the jeans though.
Oh, look at that.
That's the money show.
Let's start getting started.
Lower nice, right?
Sheath underwear.
Is that one of your sponsors?
No.
What?
Should be the best, dude.
Robert Patton.
I got him at the Skankfest.
Get your Sheath underwear folks.
Robert Patton.
Guys, I'm a Tommy John House, so I just want to let you know. Use code Tuesday. Go your sheath underwear folks. Robert Patton. Guys, I'm a Tommy John house.
So I just want to use code Tuesday. Go go use the code bonfire.
Although she right there you weren't. Yeah. Is that one where the balls go in? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're doing.
All right. My girl just sent me a video for dancing.
Yeah, but she's are we are. He's first of all, it was on its story.
We are. It's not in this story. It's the same. What? She just sent me this one.
Yeah, but it's the same one. What are you doing? There's a dang cook documentary.
Yeah, it's coming up
What are you?
Not building our phones. He's just watching a documentary on daincook. What are you gonna do guys? I'm reading. Sorry, go ahead
A documentary on daincook is in development the comedian is working with Canadian broadcaster super channel Canadian broadcaster
What's he doing? He's from Canada
Super channel the Bruce braise for in, praise for impact the Dane Cook story. Why does it always, you
know the name of it was going to
be something crazy. Yeah, it's
going to be like dick slapping
all over or something. I'll take
that. Savage the dock will
chronicle Cook story. Are you
going to be involved with this
professional groomer, Dane
Cook. Yeah. The meteoric rise
to start them with a bus. The
meteoric rising his pants every time he was around a teenage girl
Every time he went by a candy store
Rock hard
Busy stage presence as he was wrangling this emerging new fangled thing called social media
Is this a new story or a sponsor? I don't know this is essentially creating the basic blueprint for people
I don't know. No, this is essentially creating the basic blueprint
for people I need to build an audience for real.
While the early odds were a fantastic time for cook,
they also gave birth to his wife.
They also gave birth to a personal blows.
They really did.
I think it's like close.
I mean, we're like, you know, early odds.
How old is she?
She's like 20.
Get it. She's like 20. She was conceived
Back of a tourgasm bus
No, she was conceived enough that she did know of my spaces. They like she definitely she definitely can't she was born after
Tourgasm. Yeah, dude. She was a hundred percent born after
That's ridiculous. He was back. He was back to a club act.
2000.
What?
But we did it.
Sarah and I were doing this math the other day because I think he's like 27 years older than
her.
And we were saying like sat with that woman, his wife is Sarah's age now.
And she like goes out and does some comes home.
She'll have like a 74 year old.
That's insane. That's insane. Isn't like a 74 year old. That's insane.
That's insane.
Isn't that weird to think like?
That's insane.
He's not sure what I'm like.
But he still has the same energy.
He comes in like overacting everything.
He goes hands in.
He's like, you ever go take your pills?
And you're like, where are my pills?
And I'm like, that goddamn Philippine a nurse took it.
And she was all like, I'm cooking rice.
Never cook rice.
Never cook rice is a Filipino nurse.
He walked down to the mailbox, like a dinosaur,
like a T-Rex, he just with his hand.
He never gets the mail.
Do you ever wondering who's at your door
and you're going to be
Hello, it's almost as fun as I do
Seen aisle sign felt is always fun. Where am I?
Who are you?
You know what you're right. What's the deal with I forgot? What's the deal with?
But this documentary would be if if anybody needs a documentary,
I mean his career was wild.
It was insane, dude.
Yeah, dang was awesome.
I love it.
It was awesome.
I thought that the show you're called
was legitimately a great special.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Dan created a genre of comedy.
Yeah, I mean, dude, he had so many people,
in fact, Joe,
Joe Liss was the first.
Joe Liss used to use the acronym, and we first started hanging out, Joe, Joe list was a real Andrew Schultz. So, you know,
Joe list used the acronym.
And we first started hanging out when we
watched somebody do a day in impression.
He called an ADI.
Yes, another day in impression.
But then, but then you read these kind of quotes.
And you go like, yeah,
but he had been, I mean, this dude was like Steve Martin.
Like, got bigger than common.
He was on the billboard.
Top 10.
But then
Cook stated that the dig into the treasure trove that is my past has been cathartic, magical and wild. Yeah, that's
where he fell apart with his dog brother dude like his brother took all his money, like
his story is unreal. It's insane. And then he got a child ride. Pretty cool. Yeah. Any
wears makeup on podcasts. Is this is this crazy? Yeah. Yeah. And then he, uh, and then he turned his back on the
to Jerry. And he turned here to Gary. And he wanted, he wanted a family of pure
Valerian blood. You watching it. Yeah. A lot of the house dragon.
I have a lot of my face. We want to fuck my family members. So, so
horny watching these family members. Well, you only have one.
So so horny watching these family members. Well, you only have one.
So.
Man, no, no, no, no, that's Lewis's story.
Lewis really only has one family.
Yeah, it's a sister.
I respect the shit out of it.
I mean, they're all dead.
Christmas is easy.
Yeah, have you guys?
Yeah, I was so fast.
You'll have one.
Sorry, though.
Have you guys seen Danes special from his house?
No, no.
You guys are all lying. I haven't seen it trust me all hey
I'll watch house. He shot a special add his back yard back
Yeah, yeah, talk with him or you know, we haven't talked in a long time. How long has it been since you talked?
How old Max Max is
He's nine. Yeah, probably eight eight years since you talked. Yeah. Wow. Damn.
Do you just girlfriend was finishing fifth grade? Him and Gary Goldman still
close? I don't know. Max and his girlfriend. I want to take a wild guess. Him
and the goal still close. He's still hanging out a bit. Max and his girlfriend
or in his wife were closer and aged than he and his wife are. Max and his
girlfriend. Max and body sun cooks and Dan cooks wife for closer and aged.
He said it so it sounded dumb, but it made sounded like Max had a girlfriend.
Yeah, it sounded like a word for all.
Most of the
from Dan Connolly call Kyle Skui. That's made up.
No, Connack and Bowsky.
It's for me.
It's for me.
Lewis Connack.
Would you ever consider doing Skankfest in Boston
and changing up, taking different parts of the country?
Would you rather commit to a couple of venues?
Even to take a time around?
Well, they have the Tea Party there.
Good.
We're doing Boston.
That'd be a good place for it, by the way.
It has to be the right venue, but yeah, I'm probably not Boston.
Fenway Park. Are you going to do it and different? Is it just going to be New
York and Vegas? Are you going to go other places? I will have an announcement
shortly. Let's find the venues have to really be open to a lot. What about you?
What about you?
Crane? Yeah. No. So you that's interesting. So you might do it somewhere else.
Ukraine, Russia. a Tampa, Tampa vehicle.
We've talked to a lot of different places.
We will be making decisions shortly.
Dan, you said earlier.
But once a year, once a year, it's not going to be any bigger
than it was last year.
We don't want it to be, it can't get too big.
If it, if it, if it, don't worry about that.
Yeah.
I think we saw that in two minutes.
I rely on the fucking joke.
It's a fucking joke.
It's a fucking joke.
You know, well, you can't take a hit.
You know, they're wondering.
What is going on?
That wasn't a ball.
That was a hurtful.
No, you know, no, I think it could be the biggest festival of all time.
It can't be.
It's already the best.
It can't be the best.
You'll, you will lose the experience.
If it's 5,000 or 10,000 people, it can't be a party.
It's not going to feel that way.
No, no, I think it's got to be what it is where they sell that quick.
Yeah, yeah, it's so fucking fun.
It is fun.
Jimmy Buffett concerts don't feel like a party.
Yeah, it was too many people.
Too many people.
You got enough money.
They do feel it was interesting.
I got you, but it's great.
So next year Vegas.
Yeah, but Jimmy Buffett isn't hanging out with all the fans.
No, it's playing Mark Reade.
No.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
We all fucking hang out with each other for one fucking weekend.
We're all.
I like it.
Yes, I like it.
It's a great vibe with that.
Airbaguettes hang out.
It's good for myself to steam.
I feel like God.
It's the fans are so fucking great.
I will. I will say away from the venue
It would be nice if fans introduced themselves instead of walking up gone. What's up? You big headed
Frag. Oh, there you go. Not check. Yeah, this guy walked up to me because I was at McDonald's and
despising McDonald's guy goes, what the fuck are you doing here? And I went, excuse me? Anyway, so I can't believe you know, the vibe of the leader
kind of acts like that. So the tone is being set. He was a very nice guy. We ended up talking.
No, Lewis is very nice guy, but Lewis will walk up. I mean, I'm saying the vibe. Yeah,
you're right. They do. They do. Yeah. I told I told the story recently about the the Uncle
Uncle chick in Canada. Remember that?
I've been Donald.
Yeah, McDonald's.
I just told that to somebody. Who do I fucking tell that to?
What is that?
What's the uncle?
Check.
Oh, we go to, I mean, it was great.
We go to Montreal and was, I was best radio.
Yeah, yeah.
We go to Montreal and we're at the club there.
And there was a nickel back concert.
And so the, is it in you? It's, yeah. As I say, so there was a nickel back concert and so the is it in you what's yeah
So there are giant nickel back fans them and me
But they're all when he says giant. They're also a large people. Yeah, these are their houses every fucking person is a
Yeah, they'd seal
They could but they would murder you everybody with their hands. Yeah, they're very like it's a whatever
It's not like American Indians here,
where they're kind of like, they're not, these were a large people.
Yeah.
Let's just say we haven't taken their land.
Native American.
Yeah, Native American.
Native.
Yeah.
Please.
Sorry.
I mean, you know what?
In your Canadian.
What would you call them?
I don't know.
What's a racist term for an Indian?
Redskins.
We don't know.
Indian.
All right.
All right. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, so we're sitting there and we're waiting in line
McDonald's it's a zoo going on in there.
Oh, all right.
Well, I don't know if I've been.
That's not a good.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You know, I know.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
It was crazy.
It was like going on because they're animals.
Several of them are animals.
A lot of different.
They're chirping.
Yeah.
Jesus.
No. Oh, they of different than their chirping. And Jesus. No.
They're waiting for their slop.
So Lewis starts talking to one,
I'm talking to like two brothers that are,
I mean, the size of houses and then Lewis gets one
of the sisters and just next thing I know,
he's just, Lewis is sitting on the counter of the McDonald's.
It's like all the videos you see on TV.
It's Lewis is sitting on the counter
and just like going to town. What? Now they didn't speak English either. So it
was just through pure grunts. So what? She just liked your fair mums. What did they
use for that weekend? Grunts. I got this bitch to make out of me. I was like, oh, she's Yeah, he also left to the pin through 5,000.
But then the brothers started
getting mad that I was like just
finger banging their sister online.
The tunnels in front of every
on the register, not like off the side.
Like on where you get your McDonald's.
Yeah, there's a lot.
This is don't you see how he
looks? She looked like mush.
I'm not even exaggerating what she looked like. We're maybe in this big on old.
It's seven minutes. We're maybe in this McDonald's for seven minutes. It's not like this
was a two day trip. Seven minutes. All this happens. And then we leave with my
wife. He says people aren't even going to take the shot. That's a that's a story about
taking the shot. He says your friend's boldness is upset his brother. He says for his sister is his largest
house, but he says like a salmon out of the water. My sister is as large as a
T.P. Yeah. For you cannot have her as a house. Your friend is aggressive like a
hungry wolf. He needs to let my sister alone. He needs to marry her. Yeah. For you are
no part of our trying. Excuse me, man, men who rapes,
man who rapes.
If you could just whisper your lines to Dan, your voice is not, you don't have it.
I'm jumping in on the riff, dude. Yeah, I'm sorry. We're riffing over.
Yeah, great. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying.
It's sorry. Sorry, Joe. This side of the table is Rift City. Rift City.
Rift, a clock. Rift o'clock Get down the river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river river You're sister right now. Eight off riftler. Yeah. Good.
Good stuff.
It's going on Patreon, right?
It's good stuff.
Is this Patreon?
We want this to be a real.
That was my bone.
Yeah.
That was my bone.
It's going on Sunday.
So Bobby, my thorn is that this is on Patreon.
It goes on, are we not doing that?
It goes on YouTube Sunday.
My rose.
What are you talking about?
It comes out on YouTube Sunday.
I wouldn't have done this.
It was on a Patreon. It comes out on a Patreon. And then Sunday it comes out. How many people are watching talking about? It comes out on YouTube Sunday. I wouldn't have. They watch it live now. I'm major and then Sunday it comes out.
How many people watching right now?
100, 500, 10,000? Are people watching right now? Yes. Oh, they are. Yeah. Just. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for me. That's the
bus of these. We're talking about goggles for 45 minutes. Wow. I love the gargle The dog was asking Nate. Good. Googly.
Oh, this is so to tell Bobby.
Next time he has, this is from Ultimate Reject.
Has Nate on Ask Him a story about the wedding he went to where they gave some.
Oh my God.
Lotto ticket.
What is that?
Oh, when they gave the Lotto ticket.
I think you did that as a bit, didn't you?
I did as a bit.
It's never made it and I actually might do it as a bit again.
So I can tell you the material.
But I'll just tell you.
I'm going to put it as well.
Lotto ticket is great. A lot of things. Great.
Uh huh. You're uncle. Oh my God. Dude, I'm sorry. The lotto ticket is what he said. Yeah.
Yeah. It wasn't. So my, my uncle, they would buy my dad's side the family. They do. They
love pranks. It's very fun and they're magical. Yeah. You're Uncle Steve. Yeah. He goes, Hey, Nate, for this next track, I'm gonna have a bat cut.
My asshole. Are you ready? Hey, I'm Nate, Uncle Steve.
Oh, and this is a family wedding.
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
Steve, those voice makes me thirsty.
You want, Jimmy water? I've been crying across the desert.
We did realize podcasts with Bobby and Steve. I mean, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going fucking hit him, dude. It was a fucking crazy energy at first. And see what it does.
Whole fucking thing, dude.
Like a long set up.
And Bobby, I could see Bobby waiting to smash it.
Just waiting for it to bomb and smash it.
And then he nailed it.
He got it.
At the end, I go, thank, I told him that.
I go, I'm so glad you hit it because I was scared.
And he goes, and what were you gonna do?
I can eat this shit.
You gonna net worth the $500,000?
I just, I giggled you all the way over here.
You're a fucking loser.
Hey, maybe you can be in that game documentary
about him and his baby, bro.
I would book that.
I would make more money off of wild boys
and get out of your entire career.
There was more money in that vanilla.
Oh god, damn it, give me that.
I fucked up.
No, you'd get that vanilla.
You're a hard man.
Give me a cigarette. Give me a cigarette. I need a light and put it out on my nuts.
Doing great, Dan. Thanks. So, God. My, uh, so, uh, they bought, they
buy fake lottery tickets. You buy them when you scratch off as you
went in grand. Yeah. And so they just put a mix of them with real
lottery tickets and they just put on a table. So when someone comes in
they'll be like, Hey, we scratch them off. So like a cousin comes in, they're like,
hey, scratch it.
Let's see if we win.
You know, whatever.
He scratches off like a couple that are real.
And he's like, didn't win, didn't win.
And then he gets to the one that's fake and he scratches it.
And it says it wins 10 grand.
And he just goes, huh, didn't win
and put his pocket in the left.
So he stole 10,000 of, you know,
but it just completely exposed his character.
Yeah, and he just left Tigran not enough to even like it's some of you like, where are
you going to go?
You're gonna see us again.
But didn't he like not come back for years?
Didn't come back for a few years and showed up at my cousin Tuesday's wedding, which I
have talked about.
Yeah, with your aunt and uncle Friday.
Yeah, then that's yeah, that's my great uncle punched my great aunt in the face. Hi, because he wanted to
go watch the markets. He fan wage tradition. Yeah, just normal stuff. That's how they give
away their pride. Yeah, yeah. And then, uh, then so then he came back and as the first time
we've seen him in like a long time, because he last in the summer, he stole a fake tin
grand from him. And it was like, oh yeah, another loser.
I get out of here.
Just left immediately.
That's so fun.
And it's not enough money to get like, you're like,
where are you going to go to the Bahama?
You think you're going to start a new life?
You can't go get a new face.
You can go to Bahamas for 10 grand.
You go for three grand.
But it's not enough to be like, I can say goodbye
to my family forever.
Just getting awkward, because that was Bobby's net worth when we look
I
You guys can't go away. You're gonna money like this.
Like they fucking give that away in one scratch ticket.
Bobby's like you can buy two houses a new Hampshire for them.
Yeah, yeah. I turned down your net worth to do this tonight.
I
Heart
I
Got a call wrong though. College with Nate. Yeah, he opened I used to do fucking juniors last laugh with Nate
I do like fucking banquet halls and holiday ends. We just did uncle Dale firehouse show
Yeah, you guys both did it Tim Dylan did it and Stavros did I've never done higher well
That's good and I read like an hour and a house of my favorite. I was my favorite. I was the best
I was drinking more. I was the best.
I was drinking more.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I reprocracker.
I reprocracker.
Fucking rules.
I Bobby.
This is to me from KB.
If you had to have one of the regs moving with you for a year, who would it be?
And why wouldn't it be Lewis?
Yeah, great question.
It obviously be me.
I could read.
I could do voices when I bring in stories. You Matt, you'd have, you know, Max and him's best friends. Brothers living
together. You'd have me. You need it. Please settle down. Please settle down. I'll say
nothing else. 100% without even batting an eyelash. It's not you. What? Because I know
you during the day is just, you wouldn't even talk to me. Bobby, I would talk to you.
I'm fun.
You're fun now, but there's a certain time.
Bobby, I'll be honest with you.
You need the money.
Yeah.
You can use the room.
Bobby, I'll be honest with you.
I felt like I came here knowing you're going to offer a room to me.
You're on the phone with Laura.
You go listen, Bobby's going to make a pitch.
And Laura would love it.
Yeah. Laura would love it.
Laura would love it.
She listens to you all the time.
He's gonna buy his daughter your house as a playhouse.
He goes, look, I got you in.
It's too small.
He's just, who lives in a small house?
She goes, father, I don't wanna live in this tiny house.
It's three bedrooms with no basement.
I would, as I pulled my car up and run over your tiny house
and smacked shit.
And you go, I think I hit something.
It wouldn't be you, because you'll be.
First of all, if you're gonna live me for a year,
I wouldn't want it to be disappointed.
I wouldn't even be there, because I worked so much.
That's true, his work hallmark.
You would definitely not be Joe.
Bobby's probably a ranch.
Definitely would be, that's a great thing.
Joe would be a great man. I thought for something, I thought for sure it would be me.
It's not you.
I'm gonna tell you why.
Bobby Bottle Ranch because he thought it was made of sauce.
Yeah.
Ranch is a sauce, dude.
You're dumb.
Bobby Bottle Ranch because he thought it was made of sauce.
No, Bobby Bottle Ranch because he thought it was the sauce.
Not made of sauce.
Yeah.
It doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
Ranch isn't made of ranch.
Yeah.
Ranch is the sauce. You thought the ranch, please don't just take it. Ranch isn't made of ranch. Yeah, ranch is the sauce. Yum, yum, yum.
You thought the ranch, please don't just take it.
Don't.
It's not, it's not your embarrassing yourself, Louis.
Oh, God.
I'm not going to rethink this now.
We, Dan, it wouldn't be a, why?
Wait, why?
Tell me why isn't it me?
Why isn't it me?
Jo, jo, jo, jo, jo, jo.
You're curpees, Jo, jo.
He's going to be doing voices.
Yeah.
Awesome.
You're going to get fucking, you're going to get 50 new roommates or one you we could meditate together
You could fuck my wife in front of me for a couple bucks. I'm in Joe. I'd love to fuck Zara. What an elevator pitch
Yeah, we could be meditating. I mean we talk every day. I talk we talk more
Who's your closest friend out of all these people at this point?
Don't say you're gonna
This point you're gonna bum it's me. I'm gonna bum Dan out who's your closest friend out of all these people at this point. Don't say. You're gonna bump at this point. You're gonna bum it's me.
I'm not gonna bum Dan out.
Who's your closest friend?
It's Anna.
I'm everyone in this room.
Well, today, because we only live in the day, it'd be Nate.
I'm very good to see you, man.
Oh, you just like being around money.
Yeah.
No.
But I was using this exam, Bobby, because you've been doing
comedy long.
I would have to do you tell me to go get something.
I gotta go get it.
Because that's the I like to I like to stay in the comedy you're the senior is like
Nate go get your credit card
No, I go get my guy to go grab it, but I definitely would I would get it to you I would get it to you
Yeah, I love that black card. Yeah, come to my stupid platinum. No, I have a
Normal card you know a black card. No, no
Take us take it back right now. Wait, man. I ain't know if Lewis is getting better. I'm getting worse. But we've made the same joke a few times tonight. Uh, who more of a lot of your attacks. And it's not cool. People don't like that. Um, what the way you attack Joe, I would say Joe talk more than anybody.
Yeah.
Yeah, we talk daily.
Yeah, we talk pretty much daily and it's text daily and it's substance.
It's substance.
A lot of substance.
Yeah.
Um, but Lewis, I hang out with more.
Mm hmm.
And we do things like I go to Lewis's house.
I would leave my son.
If I had to pick somebody from my son to live with,
it would be 100% Nate.
Nate, because he's a lot of money.
And it's not going away.
Shola.
You're gonna hit by the IRS in a couple years.
It's all gonna go away.
And honestly, I'll just leave your kid in a fire here. I'll just leave your kid in a firehouse.
Yeah, I understand. If you get daned up, you drop me off. I'm going to drop that kid off at the FDNY.
Yeah, and we know Joe hates kids. That's ridiculous. No, I'm sorry. Max hates Joe.
He hates me. He loves Ari. Joe's just a shadoum. No, I. No, I Same with kids. I think you are my kid. You're terrible. I think of the five of us
I skip the most work to be with kids and I don't even have kids
What you ever want to get that is that to the fucking
The same kids you don't like all kids Lewis is good with all kids all could you just see
Honestly, I'm a dog guy, so yeah, you're not good with all kids. Oh, could you just see? I'm honestly, honestly, I'm a dog guy. So you're not going kids.
You don't know that.
You don't know that.
I'm out there fucking literally, you know, every kid literally inspired me to do kid parties.
You've never seen me in action.
I'm unbelievable.
You're not good with kids.
You're good with two kids.
Out of your mind.
He's got a couple of good tricks at the kids like.
Yeah.
I was the only one talking to James at that party.
We went and rolled together and I let him call me a pussy. He did it. He went, he went,
hey, James, I'm gonna tell you something right now, James. And don't forget about this.
Have you felt this couch? I'm not even familiar with that term because I don't do drugs because
I'm a good with kids. Also, Dan, can I get with kids? What are you Italian? I'm a good with kids.
Face is covered in old man. Pubicare. Yeah, no, Dan's not good with kids. You know,
fucking know that way. That look at the way I will tell you right now. I did freak out Joe's
little cousins at Thanksgiving when they came over. I'm high and a little girl.
And then I felt bad. I had to go outside and smoke a cigarette. I mean, I love you, dude,
but you just not good. You don't know that I'm excellent. I'm incredible with kids. I'm great with kids. I'm unbelievable. I'm great with kids. I just
come where I'm supposed to. I would I literally dropped me and don't me and don't drop Max
off with Lewis. Don't think about it. They don't call them fucking. Yeah, no, we don't
think about it. I know he's all right with Lewis. Yeah. If I left Max with you, you'd probably be like,
hey, he can pick him up.
It's not working out.
Max would come back and go, Uncle Dan's incredible at madden.
He didn't let me win one game.
No, I call Max and I'd be like,
where's Dan?
I don't know.
He fell asleep.
I dedicated my special to children.
You guys ever do that?
You did not dedicate a sp- what did you do?
The children in general.
No, two specific children.
That's the thing. And I love them. Which ones? I don't general. No, two specific children. Which man I love them.
Which ones?
I don't know.
They live on the street.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I met him in a burger king.
Nate would be good with kids.
You have kids.
Well, as nanny's good with kids.
Yeah, but he has a kid.
He doesn't seem 14 years old.
He doesn't even know her name.
He has a good girl.
Nate is a slave.
Nate is a slave that breast feeds his children.
You have a nanny?
No.
You go nett, you've been out in a road way.
You don't want to drink me by your voice.
It's not my fault if she doesn't know who's paying for all this.
Do you know who my father is?
Do you know who my father is. You know who my father is. You know who my father is.
My father gets older.
But she was a baby.
I used to know, your horrible blam ball gets here.
I'm horrible blam ball gets here.
I am the princess of Southern comedy.
I pictured it's stand doing this
and it just cuts to a kid like this.
KICKERS
KICKERS is like this.
I said the meme of the little girl.
Like yeah, I did.
No, there it would call my daughter and do voices for her.
We need the poos.
You used to blow her mind in the chit-
When she hit an age when a didn't, man was out of bomb.
That sucks.
Well, we got bomb.
I bombed on my Halloween party, my magic show.
Oh my god.
You did it.
Oh my god.
I was sitting on my bed.
I was sitting on my bed.
You put, can I say real quick before you get this?
Bombing for a child hurts beyond
my little, my, my cousin son.
I'm a shut up.
I murdered with this.
Cause you're hack.
My actual, come to my full act.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Made actually murders for children.
It's like,
Hey, kids go like this.
You might write it.
It's happening.
It's happening.
So here last year my Halloween party, we did Dr. Death.
And the kids went down and it's good for the kids.
When they opened the door, it looked like a hospital room and it was blood on the walls.
How do you bring this up by your grandfather?
This...
You've walked in there.
Why do you just show a body stabbed and go? I had a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair and a hair go? I had a hairring. I had a herrington on a table. I was taking body parts out. I guess heart was beating. Yeah, fantastic. James four years old.
This is. I should you not only two kids would go in the room. Like all the other kids were horrified.
They were like, and we're like, we got to pull it back this year. It was too much. Max was horrified.
Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Leave Max with them. That's not good. That's what he's talking about.
That's what he's talking about.
That's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that's I Be on a knee identifying with max at the fucking goggle place
It's been turned into the goggle story now. I love
Definitely goggles
I'd be on this side
You love money
Mother fucker by the way all three of us have plenty of money. We got enough. I'm doing all right Yeah, we got enough a little show called a bill
You have
Thousand yeah, shit, you said sorry
I said that on my roast last year folks
Yeah, then when I bombed because I was forced to do a roast because Louis throws his own birthday
parties at Skankford.
I killed.
I don't know if you were saying that.
I'm just saying that.
Sorry.
So do you think that personal?
Sorry, Dan.
What?
I forced all my friends to do a roast.
I apologize.
I loved it.
Yeah, because you did great.
At a great time.
Yeah.
No.
You murdered.
I did listen.
I love it. It was a fun roast and it was amazing.
It was a lot of fun.
So yeah, so I did Dr. I did Dr. I did a fight.
I did it.
What?
You're an asshole.
Nothing a big fat guy there.
Well, it wasn't you though.
Yeah, we were roasting him.
Shadow of Bobby.
Where's Bobby?
Exactly.
I was just a car and you shadow of Bobby.
No, so Dr. Death last year, the kids, it was too much.
So it was like, I this year, I got to pull it back a little bit. We'll do Creepy Death last year the kids it was too much. So it's like this
year I'm gonna pull it back a little bit. We'll do creepy the clown. We'll do a scary clown.
And you name it. Yeah, creepy the clown. Okay, and you know I'm setting it up all day
and go to the kids and was like, Hey kids, is it more pedophile stuff? What's one of you?
Am I gonna punch? Oh, I'm in a piece of candy said, brand my mouth. Who wants to suck the candy out of me?
I mean, you're too old for long.
Who wants to have a shirtless
hook with the clik?
You have to find the candy.
You have to find the candy.
You have to go to the ride
and anybody out or go to the left.
You had to find the candy.
No hands.
Oh.
So we have, my sisters this year. So we open the doors to the shed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, punch man. I grabbed Max by the way. Yeah, he punched Max and then Max body slammed him
And this gives like half the max the size and everyone like I'm mad at Max
Yep, and Max came over to me. He's like dead. He punched me. I was like so I power-volved
I go and I was like it's okay. Just say sorry. He's younger, but you did the right thing. Yeah, I go say sorry
But you did the exact right so this kid as soon as the door opens the door swinging open
I'm like, ha ha ha ha, hey kids.
He goes suck my balls clown,
and then all the kids started laughing.
Oh, and then everyone started going suck my balls clown.
No, I was trying to get tricks.
Just bombing dude, I'm talking about like,
nobody's paying attention to this.
Did you feel the flops?
Could you feel the flops?
Yeah, I'm starting to sweat dude.
That's how I'm standing up over again.
I was not gonna stick eye just watching it.
It was the best thing I've seen in years.
It was better than Vosbombing in the V.U.
Did your kids even enjoy a PG-rated movie
or is it just not enough for them?
They watched it in the fake movie.
Lewis has to do a bambi edit
where he goes, I get bambi here.
And they go, I'm on board this.
Okay, I'll listen.
I'm a pussy when it comes to shit like that.
A lot of her sad.
Yeah, like Bobby's fucking showing Max.
What?
You're showing him front of the 13th?
I did not.
You said you were going to.
I was joking.
Okay, I got yelled at by Don, she said no.
I showed James half of my own street and his mom.
Yeah.
Really picturescapped him, she's not happy.
Yeah, I think Nightmare has to be.
Oh yeah, that's crazy.
It's worse than Friday. There is an absolute.
No, because Nightmare on the street is so cheesy looking.
No, no, no, no, no.
The first one's pretty, do you remember the blood?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, Johnny Depp, it's okay.
It's a butterfly.
Also, it's about a guy that goes into your dreams.
Yeah.
That's going to fuck with you.
If you're not a kid, if you're not a kid,
it's the one that's going to fuck with you.
It's a kid, if you're not a kid,
it's the one that's going to fuck with you.
It's the one that's going to abuse the children in order. But you can're not a kid. If you're not a kid, it's the white kids in the first one. He abused his children in murder. But you can't
implied. I'd rather get fucked than just abused and killed by the way, camp crystal
lake is where Jason is. So when you're a kid, you're like, well, not you know that you
go to that. It would still exist in Jersey. No, it's a good. That's what you can still
go to it. They drained it though. They don't.
You can have the sign up.
You've drained the cabins.
They all that.
You can visit it right now if you want to.
That's how Bobby used to breathe.
Those him up the stairs.
And for the
That was good.
Yeah, but light marinara demonstrate is a hundred percent worse.
Yeah, it is.
Why show them Chucky
and he liked Chucky.
Show them Chucky wanted
Chucky to.
And I was allowed to watch
the movie.
Tells like 29.
Well, you know, I mean, he
hasn't watched like really
anything like that was
scary.
That's the scariest thing
he's watched and we tried
to watch that.
I'm shooting halfway
through the kids were a
little freaked out. Max watched Beetlejuice and he was like, it's stuck. Yeah, that was scary. That's the scariest thing he's watched. And we tried to watch that man. I'm shooting halfway through.
The kids were a little freaked out.
Max watched Beetlejuice.
And he was like, it's stuck.
Yeah, that's nothing.
He loved Beetlejuice.
Yeah.
But that's not scary.
Yeah.
It's not a scary movie.
I think both your kids are going to get removed from both of you.
I think social services are going to watch this.
I don't.
Probably show up.
We don't let them do anything.
Yeah.
We're not. He's seen some titties at this point.
And Italy, he saw it.
He saw our story in Austin.
He saw titties.
And then when you're at camping,
you guys change your shirts.
Yep.
Look at titties.
Yeah, no, yeah.
Yeah, no, no, we got of us.
Well, I was trying to, you know,
yeah, you should have.
So, you know,
Barton Springs in Austin is like the like spring like it's a talk.
You're back.
It does suck.
It does suck.
What, Barton?
Yeah, it's too fucking cold.
The water's ice cold.
I hate that.
I mean, I need warm water.
Stop it.
I need a warm ocean, a warm heated pool.
I'm not getting in a cold fucking body.
You too.
Yeah, I don't like to wangling.
You like Cape Cod.
I like Maine. Fuck. I like cold water. Oh? Yeah, I don't like. You're like Cape Cod, don't you?
I like Maine.
Fuck, I hate cold ones.
That's why I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
An hour and a half to get in.
You think you're a younger than me, dude?
You look like shit.
Of course.
You look like a fucking skeleton, dude.
No, I'm smooth.
I'm smooth.
I'm smooth.
I'm smooth.
Bobby's very smooth.
Bobby looks like he sleeps in lotion.
You can be smooth and blotchy.
Blotchy is a color.
You can be blotchy.
Smooth and take away everything from this podcast.
I'm gonna take away Joe God.
You can be smooth and blotchy.
Yeah, no, you, uh,
no, I like Barnes brings too cold.
But there, uh, it's, uh, tops optional.
And there's a lot of kids there.
So if you're a girl and you're in Barnes where you take your titties out, you're just a piece of shit. There's no, like, it's top's optional. And there's a lot of kids there. So if you're a girl and you're in part
where you take your titties out,
you're just a piece of shit.
There's not like, it's not like you just want to be a whore.
So there was a few chicks with their tits out
and James saw some titties and I just watched it.
Like I just watched him like become a man.
That's awesome.
The first time this is the moment where I was like,
did you do this? Did you go?
No, he does this.
Well, the girl was like there and he was just talking
and was like, I don't ah, I guess he was.
Look at that.
And then I just watched him stare for a full minute
and I just tapped him on the show.
I was like, hello, he's like, what?
He was like, it's natural.
It's like, you know, that's just the human body.
So, yeah, yeah.
It's just the human body.
It's not even a move.
I don't even care.
Whatever, do you, this room suits you tight?
I think this room suits you tight.
I don't know what's going on over here.
He's like, it's not a move.
I'm not ready to fight you, dad. It's natural. He made the big room in the water. I'm't know what's going on over here. He's like, it's not going to fight you, Dad.
It's natural.
He made the big thing in the water.
I gotta go swim.
I gotta go swim right now.
I gotta swim right now.
Also, Dad, I think you're gay.
I gotta get out of here.
And then Italy and Italy and Chick-watera.
Where?
Where is it?
Chick-water.
What is it?
Chick-water.
Chick-water.
He's the beach.
Joe. Joe. Good chick-watera. What a chick with titties chick with titties. That was the beach
Good chick with teta it was yeah, there was you know tops optional for the bitches
Yeah, dude, I guess you grow up a little
Time that was great. Are we doing a father son trip the ship with the kids? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna try it You know, you always say I will do it. I will definitely do it. I think about Greece
I go to the walk it. Think about Greece.
How many days?
How many days?
Greece?
Five, six.
Greece?
Greece?
I can't go to Greece without land on.
Why can't you use Greece without land on?
I don't know, somewhere fun like Orlando.
You know, fucking Greece?
Something Greece.
What we went to Italy last year,
I like international.
Not a chick you're trying to fuck to your son.
New home. I know, it's I know little Greece is for the family. Yeah me and you let's go to Guatemala somewhere
Quite a model. I was trying to get your kids taken you trying to not have kids. Well, sell them
I'm bringing the family to Costa Rica in February. Why do we you know what we do? Let's go to Jamaica
I've been to Jamaica a hundred times. That's only that's only for Jamaica and March
That's only for Lewis's smash pieces did no that's not your my girl my girl is like no, I was like let's been to Jamaica a hundred times. That's only that's only for Jamaica and March. That's only for Lewis's smash pieces, dude. No, that's not
your. My girl. My girl is like, no, I was like, let's go to Jamaica. She's like, are you out of your fucking mind? I know we do right now.
I go into the same place you bring every girl. We go. We go. We go to we rent in our V in in Arizona and we go to
And you drive to believe that's a good guy. He's like, he rents in our V. We turn it into a house. Yeah, go to Monta, like
I just did I was up. Yeah, I don't think you should though
I actually kind of liked that one. It was good. It wasn't a bomb. Yeah, I'm not gonna give it to him. Yeah me neither
But I he know why he was so excited, but I read it if I read it on paper. I would I would go
That's one. Yeah, if you read it on paper with somebody else's voice. Yeah, Nate's right get an RV go to fucking air
I said it. I said it. I said it first. He just said that's a good look.
Like the on say is text me. It sucks. Where are you going to get a
retard? Oh, she fucking takes it back. She can't. I gave it to her.
I liked it. I say I say we rent an RV. We go state-to-state national parks.
Yeah. And then we what? Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. I want to go.
And you go to the bottom of the go to bottom of the hike.
And you go, we could one day maybe do this.
I can you get back in the RV and drive.
We go tonight.
Today is not the day.
It's a kingpin.
But today ride down into the Grand Canyon.
That's dangerous.
Why?
Take a donkey.
That's more dangerous.
That's not a donkey.
Donkeys don't crash like a helicopter.
Donkeys get it.
Yeah, donkeys do.
I'm not going to fucking go.
Yeah, I don't want to do a benefit for a helicopter crash.
Yeah, it's not good for my brand.
Plus I can't have that.
Kobe.
Oh, yeah.
Irish affair. YouTube right now.
Or yeah, go watch Jew on YouTube.
Go to Vegas, ask what we don't know more about Vegas.
We could go to Vegas.
We're gonna Vegas for the kids.
We're gonna go to international place. I let's about the biggest shooting. We could go to Vegas. We're going to Vegas for the kids. We're going to go to an international place
and do some culture.
Let's go.
Then we go to the national parks.
Like you should.
It's not a lot of stuff.
I don't want that.
Let's go to Germany.
Well, they'll fucking they'll have you been to a national park.
You ever been to the
Germany really good.
Yeah, I haven't.
You go to your yellow stuff.
It's like you see every like the bears and
the white stuff and it's I mean, it's unreal.
Yeah, go to yo, spree.
Watch Davey five hours of comedy.
Badlands, badlands.
It's like being on another planet.
It's great.
That night, the stars, it's like you can see Gallic.
Oh my God.
You guys are sucking each other off by the act.
What's no one is doing?
I'm going to maybe go to Greece or France or Sweden.
Why do you hate this?
Why are you doing this?
Why do you hate America?
I mean, why do you hate this country? It's not interesting. You've never been the
they've been everywhere you've named name where have you been there?
When you've been to Montana. When have you been to Yale?
Never been to Montana. When have you been to Yale?
Yes, I have.
Coral Springs. That's in Florida, you jackass.
America. I don't think you know all of America.
I don't I just don't think you I think you think
where is where is Mount Rushmore?
What state that where is Mount Rushmore?
Yeah, they don't repeat it.
Yes, you heard me Montana.
No, no, he's right.
He's right.
He's right.
Bobby South.
He's right.
Go to Montana, ask where Mount Rushmore is.
Mate, you know where Mount Rushmore is.
I've been to Mount Rushmore.
Where is that?
South Dakota.
Yeah. So, you know, why another I did a show there.
They had a show and they chiseled Nate's face into it.
Nates on top of George Washington.
I've been officially every state except Alaska is doing.
I've been to Alaska.
Me too.
Alaska.
By the way,
I'm going to go to the sky they're trying to club him.
Yeah, that's good.
Our food would have been better.
Yeah. I know we'll punch that up in post.
Now, by the end of the shoot.
I'm telling you, man, go to Alaska in the summer.
They can go, oh, look at him.
He's hot.
They go, harder, and then they look at Lewis and they go, you
gave him my sister in the bottles.
He goes, this is it.
He goes, get into finger, finger, finger.
They would remember him.
The comic club I didn't mount in South Dakota.
Uh, it was that there's like a, it was in a hotel, but they left a parrot.
They got the first show.
There's a parrot in the room.
And so you go on stage, but no one's there.
And they leave the parrot in the parrot.
Heckles you.
That's fine.
The whole show.
And it's just ruins the show.
And the whole time he goes that way, they can talk on the parrot. Yeah. Bruce the parrot kind of says your jokes a little bit the whole time. Who's that right there? I think it's poppin' parent.
Yeah.
Who's the parent?
It kind of says your jokes a little bit back and forth.
Does he have a manager?
Can we get him on the road?
Oh, mine.
Then, so the show's horrible.
And then we got to do another show.
That's something funny.
Raw.
Second show, the parent's gone.
And I go, where's the parent?
They go, well, we got a room that he stays in.
So he could have stayed in that room during the first show?
I thought he had to stay in.
Raw!
And then I know we only do it on purpose for the first show.
Rock, hurt it.
Paralepic.
No, fuck, Ron.
Call back.
Rock, who cleaned?
Rock.
Lightable.
Rock, boring.
Dating is hard.
Rock, Ricky, we get it, you got kids.
What?
Next. It's a blood check. Rock. This is hard. Brack. Ricky, we get it, you got kids. What?
Next.
It's a blood chicken.
Brack.
That's my favorite.
Brack.
Throwing up and then just your mouth.
Brack.
Brack.
Brack.
Brack.
I like crackers.
Brack.
This is parody, brush.
That's exactly like himself.
Brack.
I like crackers. This is Lewis fresh. That's exactly like himself. You're right.
I want a cracker.
This is Lewis doing a chicken.
But go.
Hey, you guys ever hear my you guys ever hear my donkey impression?
He.
I'm a donkey.
You know, James is playing donkey in the town play of a strike the musical. Wow. That's awesome.
And the age group is 9 to 14. He's 9 years old.
He's one of the youngest people he got to the second largest role in the play.
James did sing. Is it? Do you think with the color of his skin?
Oh, come on. Lead is in black face when he auditioned.
I gotta read the names. You guys want to, I want to smoke a cigar and I got
no too late, right? Late at night. I don don't know I got to get dinner from downstairs and go what are you doing
we're doing a fuck Bobby's podcast used to be three to four hours no it wasn't
it was two it was the afternoon yeah good the whole day around two hours we
we I would literally and I just so you know I would do another two hours
okay cool let's go have fun I'm gonna then leave you fucking asshole. Okay. Bye. Bye.
Bye. I hope I hope you go home and Katie's getting
playing out.
By Harris. Can you read those names? Oh, he's downstairs.
Hey, I'll see if we can come on. We read those as fast as you can.
Yeah. Well, like the microphone machine guy. What? What?
Well, you've heard that I got to do an ad read now.
Yeah. Okay. I'll do it. Swores.
Let me see.
I'll do it real quick, right?
Here we go.
Oh, you've heard the guy, guy times presents
is the only podcast network in the world
besides castigil, I think.
Two of injected bone and medicine
into the penis of paralyzed man contact.
But now you probably want to know the other shows
on the network, our family Jules is an awesome
trivia based drinking game podcast that you can play along with your friends right at home.
Uh, uh, uh, guide times, uh, feed alongside over a dozen other messed up series.
They get a bunch of shows on this network that are really fun, really cool.
And, uh, and they don't, uh're not pittin' a lick, but.
You can read the names, huh?
Okay, okay, there you go.
So make sure you check them out.
Read that top thing again, Guy Times.
Oh, yeah, you've heard of that.
Guy Times presents.
They're so good at it.
Is the only podcast network in the world
to have injected boner medicine
into the penis of a paralyzed man for content.
But now you probably wanna know
what the other shows are.
Make it yours, make it yours.
Our family jewels is an awesome trivia based drinking podcast that you could play along.
Our family jewels.
Brrrr. Brrrr.
Hey guys, you guys ready for the name?
My parakeet. Yes.
Great thing to read them as a parent.
Hi.
Brrrr.
How fine? Brrrr.
Brrrr.
Brrrr.
From Phoenix, brrrr. Archie, from Phoenix, rock, archa, archa, scopa,
rock, five dollars,
rock, rock, Derek Blankenship.
Rock your liberal because you're poor.
Rock, Steve Goldensky,
rock up in your mom.
Rock David Knox,
rock, Sergium, and Dosa,
rock, Frank Morgan,
rock, Lester,
rock,
hmm, rock, Israel Stern Stern, Brock Stephen Papaya,
Brock Bingo Bango, Brock Dominic Mancini,
Brock Savory Robert, Brock A hug,
Brock Max Crow, Brock Christine, Brock Lev,
Brock Josh Mitchell, Brock Brian Dinger,
Brock Yonnie's cheese flees,
and Chris's German piece make my ginger snaps
me. Brock Michael Alexander. Brock love my will. Brock McFan the show. Brock
topsy Brock Jeff Brown or Don.
Uh, Joe list has a movie on Lewis CK dot com.
I'm ready to lie. Well, great movie that hand. Why do you think Lewis CK? It's Lewis.
It's not Lewis. Lewis. No, great movie that hand. Why do you think Lewis CK? It's Lewis. It's not Louis. It's Louis. No, the
website is Louis or you can
find it at 4thflymovie.com
if it's easier. And I also have
a special on YouTube because
you're not old Louis K.com.
This year material this year's
material. It's great. That right
now and link it to my web. Thank
you, Dan.
movies great, specials great.
Of course, you dance soda
hap I'm so happy you can gauge buddy. Thanks buddy.. Of course you. Dan Soda.
I'm so happy you can gauge, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
Grats, buddy.
And you got a bonfire every week and you got, what else you got coming up?
Uh, dancoda.com for live dates.
I'll be in Nashville.
I'll be in Philadelphia.
I will be in Detroit and HBO Max.
You can stream my special son of a Gary.
Killer special.
Killer special.
We were there.
We were there.
Yeah. Everybody here. I was there. No. I was I was not I wasn't asked. Yeah, you were I was not asked you were there
You're asked I was not there. He wasn't there. He asked you. I came in. I'm you were on the road. You were on the
Pro you surprised me. I was so funny. I was I was mad at Nate in the morning and then he showed up and I was like well
I feel stupid and then Nate not not always Nate there, he's the centerpiece of the photo celebrating the special.
Yeah.
I haven't seen Lewis in two years.
And when I walked by Lewis, he goes,
what's up?
And they just kept walking.
Wow.
Yeah.
He was, you're doing that tonight.
He did that tonight.
No, I didn't do that tonight.
These, because they were so tall.
He went, he went, what's up?
And then he like, like pushed me out of the way
to go talk to Todd Barry.
Oh, he was beat.
Talk Barry. Talk to him. Talk Barry.. No, he was beat. Talk Barry.
Talk something I was being.
Talk Barry.
Talk Barry with.
Talk Barry with.
He went, Hey, it was pretty cool.
I just made Lewis look like a giant pussy.
You got that guy.
I was being polite.
I was talking to Todd and I came back to you.
Do you know that I saved your life?
Oh, because he's going to move away.
You, oh, yeah, Nate had you, You were a week away from going to LA.
And you know what happened? I'd be opening for Nate.
I'd be a clean comic right now. I'd be opening in fucking. Oh, he would have found
Christ. I think Lewis, you think you had a crush to the out in LA.
No. You would have crushed it. No matter he went, you would have been his.
He would have been LA. He would have just owned.
He would have a podcast with Sean. He would have punched every comic in LA in the face.
No, Lewis would have done great.
No, it would have moved.
Bobby, you said this, Bobby, you said this.
This was the, the reason I stayed.
Yeah.
And it's the advice that you gave me.
And it's the reason why it needs right.
Wherever you go there, you are.
Yeah.
Wow.
No, but I meant that in a bad way.
I meant that you're going to go out there and murder everybody. Yeah. Well, no, but I meant that in a bad way. I meant that you're going to go out there and murder
everybody. Stay here. Stay here. No, he did great. I know he'd be great here, but he would have
been Lewis would have made. They know and they never would know what to how to handle.
It's a different vibe. He wouldn't have been a different thing. And also like, if I did,
I we we lean so deeply into this legion of also like, if I did, we leaned so deeply
into this legion of Skank, Skankfast,
Gassage and the thing, which was the right move.
I think I would have probably tried to hide that shit.
And I would have become like an LA guy,
I would have been nervous about getting fucking canceled
for no shit versus.
You never been that.
You're not going to just change who you are.
You're exactly who you are.
You've always been who you are.
I think I've had a lot of people to have because of you because we've been friends.
I do a lot of stuff very good and a lot of it's because of you because I
would see you if you did something stupid you would always like just say the truth.
Like you would mess up and I'd be like you just messed up and you're like I know I just messed up.
And like I do that in my real life now because I because I would see you you're you're.
I want to put the decimal point in the wrong place. He goes I have 20 million. Oh my god silly me
But it's like I thought I got only paid a hundred thousand dollars to show and it was a clean mill
I got a clean millie
This won't happen. You know what I'm wrong
You were the Nate would have fucking abandoned you went back to Nashville now
You would have been best friends at Rogan and you'd be
Literally selling out of rena's right now, maybe yeah, it would you would you would have been best friends with Rogan and you'd be literally selling
out of rena's right now, maybe. Yeah. It was you would you would you would have been you
could do whatever you wanted to do wherever. I moved it back to Nashville because it was
I started being a road. I tried an audition. I was going to audition, but you you I mean,
we were all at the beginning. You were doing nothing. You're I mean, we're all doing nothing,
but you're handing out flyers. You're doing all you built all this out of nothing. Why can't
you go to LA and build that? They they they like you go there and have that energy there?
I mean you're just gonna run but I think be me being a part of New York and that being a part of my personality
I think that's it you don't go from you to being like you know, you're right
But I think it does change you though. There's certain things I think I've been successful no matter what it doesn't matter
I genuinely believe I agree Whether it's fucking I think one does change you though, there are certain things. I think it would have been successful no matter what. It doesn't matter, I genuinely believe it.
I agree.
Whether it's fucking what.
I think one day that will happen.
Bobbi?
Got him.
Oh no.
Nate, you got a special.
I just taped one and I'm hoping it's gonna come out January.
I can't say where.
I can't say where, but it'll be.
I'll let it be.
Netflix.
No.
Not Netflix. You don't want Netflix now. I can't. where, but it'll be I'll let it reflect. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So, um, there's a comic, uh, Michael J. Something. He's on a comic.
It's an actor. He's a black comic that does Michael Jr. Michael Jr. Yeah. I mean, he does
the very funny guy and he performs at churches. Yeah. And he's crystal clean. And then he does Q&A
with the, I've seen all of the Facebook now. Yeah. It must be making that tonic. Cash. Yeah,
those guys do it. There's another comment. Leanne Morgan, that she booked wonderful, wonderful, she doesn't do churches, but she's
become her own thing, but she did a dry bar blew up. She's in her 50s, like did comedy
forever. And like just, you know, did the South just, you know, had little things and
everybody took off and she's the sweetest person you ever meet. And then this all took
off. And now she's doing theaters and stuff,
and it all blew up from just dry bar and everything.
But that's everything.
It's all if you have an act.
That's the, if you have an act, no one can do it.
Fuck.
Speaking of acts, Irish affairs,
New specials, again.
I want to plug it for them.
It's on YouTube right now.
It's called Jew. I gotta say that, I gotta say it differently. You do the voice for me,
so it doesn't sound great. Hey, you're gonna go punch a podcast. It's called Jew.
It's on YouTube. Hey, very, very great. There you go. And my special LewisCK.com,
my special kill boxes up there. Go buy it. Go see everybody's special. Get the movie.
Support everything. You guys, uh,
what else do I have to do anything else? I love you guys. I love you guys. Nicole,
new Nikki. Thanks so much. Robert killer live.com for all my dates. Comics come home. I'm
going to bought back to Boston first time in three years and comic wearables right now.
Get the new shirt. Fuck the checks.
Boss of skanks.com. Particularly in my shows. I'll be in Saratoga Springs next week, Miami the week after.
Toronto's coming up.
DC.
A lot of stuff.
A lot of stuff going on, of course.
Support.
And I love being with all of y'all.
Hey, we can't be back.
We're so glad.
It's just awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, pull your dates.
That's where I was.
Into the microphone, though.
Now, I have a show, November 23rd in San Antonio, Texas.
Let us say a comedy club.
Please come see that.
And I'll be with Dan beginning of Houston.
Houston, I'll be in the summer.
Great.
I hope you're safe.
Congratulations.
I will, Shay.
Love you.
I'll see you guys next week.
You guys are the best fans of the world.
We'll see you next week.
You know what?
You know what?
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.
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