Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Origin Story of the Comedy Cellar
Episode Date: October 29, 2017The origin story of the Comedy Cellar, taped in Las Vegas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com
Let's start this over and do some.
Inducing?
I recorded it on here.
I got double recording.
Thank God no one who worked for you made that.
Oh my God.
Hi, how you doing?
I got all the bullshit out of the show.
That's extra. That's extra that's nature on extra
The biggest Robert Kelly. You know what dude on the road lost Vegas Rio
I took a 20 minute hit anyways about my shitty room getting fucked in the butt and doing all this stuff and I
He crosses his leg like a winner, okay? So anyways, we're starting the show Liz my lovely
Person on the show that helps me yeah see
Before that you took such a great extension. No, we had it all right. I don't have that
I put her a road Lauren. I guess Lauren is a girl who used to work for Robert and they've had some kind of falling out
No, no, no, no
That he basically just called me his road lackey. No, I don't
It's also like scopo. This is terrible. You call said he mad about scopo is dad your dad control
I love scopo. I love scopo's dad, but scopo was you will not give you a deal on the guard
He'll raise our rates. Yeah. All right. Listen. Can you please introduce everybody and no stop calling people lackeys
lackeys, okay, Bill Grandfesta's here. Oh my God, he didn't know.
Oh, the founder of the comedy seller in 1981.
1981.
Now let him do that.
He was going to redo it again.
He was doing his thing.
I didn't do it in the first place.
She said he found the comedy seller and I didn't want.
I didn't say that about myself.
And you wanted to do a beautiful thing.
Beautiful story about how in 1981, we dug the audience out
with our bare hands from the street.
He got to love him.
I mean, guy, that's the second time he did it.
And just, I think it's better than the first time.
Yeah, it's better.
Yeah, and a little more.
Not too much.
Just that off.
What do you mean by content?
He was always the best.
Yeah, it's always the best.
You're a second take, guys.
Second take, guys.
I'm first take.
I'm just kind of clearing out the debris.
They call me second take Kelly.
Is that right?
Yeah, I just never, I never get past the first take.
I usually get, I usually don't get the audition. They go, no,
that was great. See you later. Thanks. How old are you? So yeah, 81. 81. I used to start
the show with zero people in the audience because his father made me and and the reason
why is because if people stick their heads in the comedy seller and they see nothing going on, there's nothing going on, and they leave.
But if there's a guy talking on stage, they go, oh, there's a show.
And they have a shot at least that they'll come in.
That's usually my gigs on the road.
They do the same thing.
I used to say people would come in the doorway and I would say, this is what we will do for zero people.
Imagine what we will do for zero people. Imagine what we will
do for you. I wonder if you did a really good joke but it was for zero people. Would you
do it again? Sure. I'll do the same DJs.
You said for us. This is a shitty podcast and a shit house tower on the 13th floor.
You're not the 13th floor. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? when this building was established, my room was actually made. When this was a new room in 1972,
that's when they had it.
And then they stopped having it in his tower,
the brand new tower.
Oh, they have the new beds?
Yeah, and the Jacuzzi.
You have a Jacuzzi?
Yeah, of course.
I'm gonna go shit.
I'm gonna shit on a mini bar.
You know what I used to do, Bill?
Well, I need a press of blood in the kitchen.
If I was ever on the road with somebody who had a better room than me, I would go,
I'd go, hey, man, let me check out this.
This is a great room.
Can I use your bathroom?
And I go piss in their tub.
And this is how you made friends.
This is how we made friends.
Sure.
We were making friends.
There's nothing better than getting their phone call.
Dude, you're a fact.
You're a fact.
You're a fact.
It's got 20 minutes to get to the show.
He's got to clean up the tub top. You were defending Harvey Weinstein.
What?
That is such a good point.
That is such fucking before you turned on the microphone. That is that I will fucking
be in the measly.
Vietname.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I did not defend our V at all.
I'm just saying that it is.
But wait a second.
But having defended him.
No.
Listen.
It's just funny.
And now a lady defended him again.
I think that now, I mean, look, these guys came up in a time when all this stuff
Wasn't acceptable but put up with or whatever and now they're getting called out on it
And I'm not saying they I think you know look the shit he did he should get called out on it's just you know
They came up in a time when you could when you could rape a woman look
You will look at mad men. That's when you could call, hey, broad, get in here
and slap your assistant or your on the butt.
And there was a.
15 years ago.
I'm just, look it, I'm telling you that there's the things
you, things that were accepted,
put up with back then.
Look, we're evolving.
We're becoming better people.
We're becoming better men.
We're treating women and we've done a lot of shit bad,
100 years ago. We're a
shittier people. We're better people now and he's getting called out and he should because
he's a fucking predator and he did some awful shit and you know, but like a guy like Ben
a flat. You're making the same argument they make to defend Columbus Day. What's Columbus
Day? What's wrong with Columbus Day? There's a big controversy because Columbus came and
he was brutal to a lot of people.
But in those days, that was that's what they did.
And apparently Columbus molested Ashley Judd.
So there's a...
I knew she was old. I'm telling you.
She looks.
Columbus said to Queen Isabella, give me your ship
and I'm going to get my hands on that Ashley Judd rack in a second.
That's right, you guys give me a chance lady.
And she didn't want to, but the king, king Furtanamp,
you want to learn history or not.
King Furtanamp said, listen, bitch, get this guy a ship
because he's gonna get a piece of Ashley Judd.
I gotta tell him Pills Mike down a little bit.
It's like 1981, then.
He's got five people just came in the crowd.
I only have two.
I'm not saying look at, I know.
I'm just saying, why do you think there's any truth to that?
I mean, you're the one who defended him in the first place
that actually got me thinking about it.
So explain what you said.
No, I'm saying.
Nice try, did not defend him. No, what I'm said, I was there. He said we should take down
the statues of Harvey Weinstein.
Right? And put him in a museum. Yeah. They should take back his
Oscars. This is what I think. No, I think you're wrong. I think that I'm wrong.
No, I think you're right that there was like, he told me like I'll kind of
imagine. All right, that's the end of the podcast. Thank you very much for
tuning into YKWD this week.'ll see you next week bye bye shut the
thing off shut it off throw something at that camera
alive um it's like a mad man not allowed to say he's wrong
that's the thing you know he's never said I'm right ever
oh I got you this is like a madman culture yes yes like I
get we slap a slap a girl. Yeah.
Yeah, that culture did exist.
You mean, yeah, but this.
What Harvey Weinstein is accused of.
Is totally something different.
Was never acceptable.
No, that video of him, anybody who was like, oh my God,
maybe that was an excuse.
You hear that video, you can hear the sliminess in what he was doing.
And to be that powerful, to have that much money, that much influence, it makes it even worse.
Because if you're in that position, you shouldn't be that fucked up with yourself and that twisted.
What is that?
Is that your phone?
Liz, will you make sure...
Who is it?
My vibrator is on.
Who is it? It's my is on. Who is it?
It's my wife.
Don't answer it.
Wait, wait, don't answer it.
Don't answer it.
Just push it to a thing and shut.
Can you swipe up and shut the thing off?
Carefully.
No, because everything is behind the stuff.
What's on?
Is it recording?
Yeah, it's recording.
Is it still recording?
Is it still recording?
It's really interesting for the podcast people to see this?
Oh my god. Usually that you see a scope all is it still recording?
Is it recording? Now it is. Are the numbers going?
Now it is. That's the list I like. I don't like timidly.
I only want to I don't want to put Harvey Weinstein, but I will make one point about sex about life.
Here it comes.
You said about sex.
Well, what about sex first?
It's trillions.
How do men can be compared to baseball?
Sex is all compared to baseball.
However, not in this way.
You know, when you're rounding, when you're rounding, when you're rounding third base,
yes, and the coach tells you, hold up, yes. And you ignore the sign. Yes. Yes. And you slide. If you get thrown
out of the plate, you're in big trouble. If you're safe, you're
a hero. It doesn't matter. So very often in sex, things like
taking out your dick is already masterbiting in front of this.
This is really just and the girls, but sometimes these things
get converted to and the girl, but sometimes these things get converted to yeah, and the girl changes and then it becomes okay. And then no harm, no
foul. We all there's every day all over the world. I know is our converted into
yeses. Yes, but it's not and one person's rejection. Yes, was another
person's. Yeah, she she she so you know how these things go. Well, but call me old fashioned. Yeah, but there's never been a time
old
Okay, oh fashion
My point we all been there like like no, no, no, we've not all been I never sold in a hotel
Have you ever been in up? Okay, you don't have to answer have I?
I have never been in a hotel room. Yes, where I've had a
Conversation or a meeting,
or even if it wasn't a business,
have you been talking to a woman alone in my hotel room,
excuse myself to go to the men's room
and come out in a robe with my shlong hanging out.
Well, right, I take it.
We'll just take the word hanging out,
just taking straight out.
But I can ask you, I probably did work for him
from time to time, but I guess because they were intimidated.
Well, I mean, well, first of all, it's intimidated.
And secondly, some girls, you know, sexual sexuality or whatever, they might have been a little more
promiscuous.
And did I say promiscuous?
You know, they might have been, you know, I know girls that don't care, like sex and like to fuck around and like to do crazy stuff
But that girl in that tape. I mean look it sounded a little she had a recording anytime is somebody's recording something
It's a it's a thing. It's a little sting. Okay, but that's not like I don't want to do it
No, and he come in come in. No. I mean she said no
How many fucking times at girls says no? No means no and it scares the shit out of me because it won I
My instincts were off. I thought we were on the same page
sexually and then we I do something she's like no, I'm like oh shit. Okay, I'm I thought we were on the same page apparently
We're not I get fucking nervous because I don't want to go
out for big, you do something that someone didn't want sexually, you're in trouble, you're
in fucking trouble.
Also, there's this power differential that was at play, where he's this powerful guy,
and she's not, and if you let a guy like Harvey Weinstein get away with it, then the next
thing you know, you're gonna have the President of the United States getting blown in the
Oval Office, and we can't have some
wait a minute wait a minute that happened what happened what Bill Clinton you're
get out I swear he wouldn't that's so funny though it
amazes me how best president ever though I hear well that goes to what he's
saying if you're a great president you can get blown in the office listen if
peace and your wife will be like hey
Just ask me to I've never been with in some such a situation with the first the first. Oh, I'm sorry
The first answer was no
But then you beg completed
And then you got a yes, is that ever happened? Yeah, with my wife around a week ago I was like it's our anniversary coming up my birthday's coming. What else do I, what are the celebrations do I need for you to touch my penis? Please. But I'm, but I'm,
but she may be okay. I'm sorry. I said I was going to hurry. Why is he? He was again. What he
was accused of is over the, is this. These situations were different. Yeah.
You brought them in. Yeah. Under the guise of, there's no way, look at, there's no way you
need my hotel room. Yeah. There's no way you can stick up. There's no way you can stick up for Harvey Weinstein.
You can't.
There's no colorality though, but that's not a hard one.
Listen, there's no way you can stick up for him.
The stuff that's coming out.
And you know what the real shame of it is?
Well, and nobody's saying this because they're too polite.
He's Jewish.
And we don't need that because people people don't say oh there's goes a
Malester they go oh Jews you know what I'm saying and I would say to him Harvey if you're gonna behave like that at least take off the Yamaha
I can't believe you got the seller off the ground
I didn't I didn't it's under it's under the ground. It's under, it's under the ground. We were working hard to get to the gutter.
Can I, this is typical though. I wanted to talk about, I was going to talk about, my podcast
is a very, my podcast is a very light-hearted conversation. I was gonna talk about, but no one comes in and goes, what do you think about rape?
Uh, back in the five seconds.
What?
All right, Jesus.
I, no, I don't even know what I said about,
I don't even know what,
if I'm gonna get in trouble.
Listen, you started the comedy seller.
You can't prove it.
Which is really, I mean, okay okay here's what you did what you
were part of you started one of the greatest clubs in the world of all time
thank you I mean think about that sentence you started one of the greatest
clubs of all time in the world. Every comic knows about the comedy seller. The greatest of
the greats have played the comedy seller. And you know, now we're talking 42 shows a week,
43, 42 shows a week sold out. So we're talking 1981, you going, please don't leave yes please and Rick on
the piano la la la la come back in and we'll sing right and then to 42 shows a
week sold the fuck out three zero people from zero people to how many how many
people is 40 thousands yeah that's crazy week thousands a week yes and not
to mention the people they turn away.
Yes.
Because people they turn away.
And this has become, if you come to New York City and you like
stand-up comedy, you're going to the seller.
And you're going to try to go to the seller.
Because if you think you're just going to, how many times
have you been out of front now?
And there's like, can we buy tickets?
And the door guy goes, no.
You can get out of stand no you get you can get us
with the little love because it's
three juckels it's a really ridiculous that he can you know what I mean and
and in those times we chuckled for the completely opposite reason can you buy
ticket yeah come on what happened the total Yeah. I mean, give me a list of the comics that would go on a show on a Friday night or Saturday
night.
In the early days when we first started?
No, last week.
Do you know?
He's not nice.
That's what I was talking about.
Go ahead.
That was fun.
He was perfectly charming.
That was a great guy.
Absolutely.
He's such an ass.
He's low.
Go ahead. Bill Marr. That was a great guy. Absolutely. He's such an ass.
Hello.
Go ahead.
Bill Marr.
Wow.
Rita Rudner.
Oh my god.
Ron Darian.
Who?
Ron Darian was the funniest.
So far the ones he mentioned anyway.
Really?
He was really the one everybody looks forward to.
He was a great act Ron really great act
It's far better than John can Solomon that classic William Shatner impression. Yeah, I think Ron Daring was the first guy to do that
I would say that
What's his name Kevin?
Pollock Pollock yeah did the Ron Ron Darian with William Shatner which is derived from the Frank Gorshin
William Shatner, which was really influenced by the will Jordan
William Shatner you're not sure you know, which was which was a derivative of the rich little William Shatner
I've never seen what you. I have a question.
Ron Daryen.
Yeah.
So, Ron Daryen, Rita Ruddner, Bill Marr.
Who's the main one now?
Gilbert Godfrey.
I didn't interrupt you.
Gilbert Godfrey.
Gilbert Godfrey.
Gilbert Godfrey.
What about now?
What about now?
Richard Pryor, or Bill Cosby, or the Black?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Richard prior or Bill Cosby or the black
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am sorry. I don't want to bring Steen is a Jew don't bring up Bill Cosby when we talk about rape again. Oh
Here was one of the guys at white scene, you know, so but did these guys did these guys come down with they around?
Did they stop in
Oh, it was at the law was at a rep though because they they talk about comedy in the village at the
Can you please get off your phone during the I mean for one second?
That's not funny. Why you don't want to try to get on you listen
You don't trigger me on the good my wife stuff. I'm half Italian half Irish in Boston
You don't step on the g-my wife stuff. I'm half Italian half Irish from Boston. You know step on the wife thing
Doesn't mean it's not funny. No, that's actually true
What's
This one makes me sick. This one makes me sick about no it makes me sick to my stomach
He's one of the funniest guys I know it makes me sick that his father passed down a sense of humor to know
Because if he's just I
he's just a motherfucker but he's one of the fastest funniest assholes I know
because he'll say something like you motherfucker then you think about it
that was a fucking real good one god damn it that son of a bitch the club owner
shouldn't be funny that's my role but he is so so those guys came the Cosby's, the priors, the village, the village that those
guys used to talk about, like the Cafe Waw, which was a different Waw, then that Waw,
and the bitter end, and the village gate, that was the 60's.
Oh right, okay.
That was the 60's, maybe into the early 70's. Well, the Waw closed 68, so it really was the 60's, like 60s. Oh right, okay. That was the 60s, maybe into the early 70s.
Well, the walk closed, 68.
So it really was the 60s, like the 60s.
What made you want to, what made you want to start a club?
What, what did you see down there that you're like,
oh, do we do a comedy?
Did you, were you not getting in at the improv
and the other clubs?
No, seriously.
Was this an alternative comedy,
Eugene Murman explains that alternative comedy,
wasn't a different style of comedy,
it was just we were doing the same comedy,
just we were doing it at alternative venues
because these the comedy seller in Caroline's
wouldn't let us perform.
So we had to find a place, was that what the seller was?
Like let me find a place where I can get up whenever I want and do my thing
I
Would say there is an element of that although right from the beginning I said this has to be a business. Oh my rights here
This has it never leaves you
Yeah. Right from the beginning, I respected the fact that it needed to be a business, because
it couldn't exist for my jollies.
And that would have to be the number one thing.
And as a matter of fact, that actually hurt me as a performer in ways that I can get back
to.
But to answer your question, it was not the first comedy club that I started.
The first comedy club that I started, because I go way back now, in Boston, I was living in Boston
no way, yeah. And I was looking for a place to start in Boston, because that was in the days where
there were no places. Barkley and Downs had the comedy connection Boston and that was
it.
And so I said, well gee, maybe there's room for another comedy club.
And there was a place called the Springfield Street Saloon that was a Chuck Wagon Western
restaurant with wagon wheels and stage coaches.
I like it.
Right.
And they had a back room, a party room.
And that was my first one.
Right.
I put Stephen right on for the very first time
any place.
Wow.
And the audience just stared at him.
All right.
But, you know, he was just starting.
Yeah.
And Mitch K. Por, who went on to develop Lotus 123
and make $1 billion.
Wow. Which I take credit for because. Lotus is a $1.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00 I'd be like what that's right and that's how Gary Saunders well, no, but he's a demajue by the way for you guys well
it's got to pour because it's software oh oh oh but seriously
um my point and I have one my point were you a sweat hog at any time in your life
my wife and since that I was okay, but yours said nothing about it. Oh
What I tell my wife
He got away with it. I thought maybe
I understand and I I'm not saying who doesn't. No, but that's not the point
It's a good one I gotta let it go
Hey, hey, all right
Yeah, but now I pitch him grabbing my wife's head
Finger pop of my wife
You and your baseball terminology. Good analogy for a lot of things. I'm missing to be cleansed after the fact. If it turns out right. Yeah, if Harvey just
had a sense of humor. So go ahead, Stephen, right? Stephen, we're really starting at the
beginning here, so we got to get moving. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing an hour, okay.
It's skateboarding. Oh, Mitch K. Porton, do you really want me to have any crowd back there?
I'm still where you're from, and I'm still where you're from.
So, so Mitch K. Porton who invented Lotus 1-3, the software,
I take credit for the development of that because I said to him,
Mitch, the comedy thing is not for you.
And he quit, he was hurt, but he went and he focused on where he should have focused.
So I take credit.
Anyway, and so that became the Ding Ho.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Geez.
Dude, you have the the the the the mightest touch.
I mean, you're the guy who created, I mean, the ding-hole for all you ding-bats out there who don't know is where the greatest comics from Boston came from.
I mean, that's the spot. And now you're talking about that, which is, I mean, in the history of comedy is fucking up there.
And now the comedy seller, I mean, you're the guy.
I'm the guy.
You should be the guy that opens every,
people should pay you to go in and survey,
like no, no comedy club here.
Like no, you could put a comedy club here.
Where do I feel it?
Yeah, you walk into a place, they have a brand new room,
but you're like no, we need to put the comedy club
with the Derrick Queen is.
That's where it's gonna be a hotspot.
That's in the back. That's exactly right. Wow, that's crazy. And then I had a radio show in Boston and
I think you're going okay and then the little club. But then we moved. I moved to New York,
started a place on the Upper West Side, which I hear Jerry is going to buy.
It was the Dallas Jones, Swiss L.A. Barbecue, on 72nd Street.
Well, no, it's actually called the West Side Common.
Is that it?
He's talking about West Side in the Park,
like on 72nd.
But I heard Jerry wasn't buying it.
Oh, he's not buying it.
Wow, now he's putting it up.
You hear it because he scares the shit out of me.
Yeah, please don't do this on my podcast. Oh, don't get yeah, don't give us inside information that you know because it's kind of ruined the whole trip
What's he gonna do there? Oh god strip club?
Jerry's doing a strip club
He's doing a strip club
So He's doing now. He's doing a strip club. Anyway, um, so it's all started.
So I did. I did. So I asked my side.
Her. I owe you just Colin Quinn right now.
As a text Jerry right now.
Now he's not ever gone. So we so there was a little room on the upper
west side. Yes. Um, and it was the back of the party.
We went to end that's who we started with.
We started with Bill Martinher and Rita and Daryl. Wow.
Jonathan Solomon and Gabe Abelson.
That's a word, that's a comic name you don't hear
anymore, Gabe.
Gabe.
He used to be a lot, a few Gabe's in comedy.
Now it's Gabriel.
Yeah, what happened to the name Gabe?
I want to bring it back.
You should have another kid name it Gabe.
I have to have a sec to me.
Oh, jeff.
Jeff still of, you're really adding just sunshine
to this podcast.
Bring up Harvey Weinstein, you've
vice-sector me, you bummed out about a new comedy club.
Jeff Stilson, you remember Jeff Stilson?
Oh, hello.
He's a bumming about the thing.
Of course I'm bumming about it.
What have I done?
Why? Why?
What did I do? Where did you hear that Jerry's doing that? I would rather he'd be here. I mean,
if you don't want to be a surprise, if it's true, we're doing it for me on a podcast.
Everybody. Where did you hear it? You can cut that out. No, I'm not having any of this out.
Do you think this is true? I don't know. I heard a rumor. So it's a rumor.
Jerry. When did you hear it? Jerry Jerry did Jerry call you
New York. I think I'm
It's too much from Natalie. Yeah, you can't it was in Adam. It's eight just say it was not it was not a man Okay, yeah, there you go
Anything out of Natty's mouth. He's okay with he knows it's a lie
And so right don't worry about it. Oh, it's having lunch at Jerry. He told me
Um, the reason I think he might not do it is not is because he's such good friends with
Chris mazilia Gotham
They're like pals. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if he would want to become a competitor to his yeah, he doesn't need the money
Yeah, maybe maybe it's maybe has a different concept of something that he thinks is
Wow, there you go
And there goes this part cast so anyways it was
mad at me so anyways back to you so that did you give Jerry the blessing I didn't
talk to him about it and then so but it was it was kind of working kind of
not but we had a couple of good reviews right you are post and a couple places
gave us good reviews right so I so then I so then I said it's not, it's not, it's, it's not happening.
Right. So I said, where else can I go? Yeah. And I called Don my rara.
Yeah. You know, don. I love Don. So I called Don.
I'm being.
And I said to Don, I said, where else should I go? He said, why don't you go to
the village? There's a ton of people. Yeah. So I went down to the village and I looked for places
that had upstairs, the downstairs, the back,
or something, something.
And then I walked past the comedy seller like three times.
Because in those days, it was not the welcoming kind of,
it was a staircase.
And well, no, it's what's going on down there.
Well, it's still a little, you know, I give people credit
to walk down those stairs.
All these just chubby, chubby foreigners making their way down that like, like this,
steep angle, steep angle staircase. I don't say it's actually the sign was a little bit lower.
Was it always banged ahead? I remember that. When did you upgrade?
My, my, my, my fallacy was a little I've raised the was right. It was a price that because the big the open picture windows and the
olive tree open out they were much bigger and we had to make them smaller and order to accommodate the signs.
Really? Wow. See there's a lot goes goes into this. People think go you just book comics.
Well, let me just fast forward a little bit. So far you go in and you meet Manny and you have to persuade him or is it easy?
I walked in I had the reviews with me. That's great. And I said
What are you doing with the room downstairs? Right. And he said it's a Brazilian Piano bar. What the fuck is that?
Yeah, Billy Blanco, right? Yeah, Billy Blanco and Anna was the other girl. The fear of less than
Billy Blanco, right? Yeah, Billy Blanco and Anna was the other girl,
the fearless name.
Was there a little rug rat running around going,
me, me, me, me, me?
No?
No, OK.
Come on.
I made Liz laugh.
I don't get it.
That's my audience.
The role-born will laugh at anything you say.
Whoa!
What the hell was that?
She's your, she's your Liz a road list
So she got you met my father. Yes, there's a problem with having somebody like no him on the podcast
He lose as soon as it's not about rape or politics
He look go ahead
All right guy well act a little interested because I know that my father took to bill
Immediately because they both came from kind of the same Yiddish culture
That so my people like kindred spirits in that yes, and we so it's true that a lot of things
A lot of success that Jews have is because
It's like a you know, yeah, they keep it in the family. They keep it in the family. Yeah, they keep it in the family
I thought you'd buy your lawyer
It really it really it really was that he really liked that
He actually couldn't get that really
So so show you yeah
Well, so uh, so yeah, so I said to him I said what are you doing And he said Brazilian Piano Bar and I repressed the that that that that
that like really I repressed that right. I said, okay, what time does it start?
Could you imagine if he just was like, no, Brazilian Piano, it's going to work.
It's got to work.
She works working.
Yeah, it worked.
Well, it was it was working.
And I said, well, what time do you get busy?
He says like 10 o'clock.
I said, okay. And I showed him the reviews. Yeah. I said well what time do you get busy? He says like 10 o'clock. I said okay, and I showed in the reviews
Yeah, I said I want to do a comedy room. Yeah, I will start at eight o'clock and we'll be out by the time the Brazilian Piano Bar started
And if any of your people come early, they can stay they come early
This is something going on the rooms live. Yeah, right? And if any var people want to stay they can stay
And then I will do a cover
We'll do a minimum and then it said it's better and then he said well basically he said
I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but it sounds like I can't lose and I said yeah, you can't look
Oh, we got a win a lot. I don't know. We're gonna win a little. I don't know
But we can't lose because there's no way to lose and so that's how the whole thing started now
Let me ask you this now now, how old are you
when this happened?
How old?
I was like, uh, 20?
Now did you go down and see the comedy
and go, what the fuck is this?
Well, you're like, what are they doing down here, Dad?
I mean, you saw the Brazilian piano bar.
Did you do that one?
I still remember.
Don't really look at that.
Nobody came in, his daughter came in, that's long ago. Nobody likes, you're, nobody, all right, listen, I could put a donkey rides in front of the seller, Nobody like
Result nobody. All right listen. I could put a donkey rides in front of the cellar be in for a month
Brazilian girls dancing around I'm in I'm sorry. I'm in let's do it. Hey, can we do let's bring it back
Let's bring it back in the pussy get one more show. Let's do it every Wednesday
Market for Brazilian music all right move on. Will you excited about
do it every Wednesday. I think the market for Brazilian music.
All right, move on.
Will you excited about it?
No, I wasn't excited about it.
Really?
I was in college.
I wasn't really.
You didn't, the comedy said, they had these guys down there doing comedy.
Now did you, did you know it, it was, no, it was famous at that.
The people that you were bringing down weren't famous at the time.
No, not at all.
All I wanted to do was be like the fourth room in Manhattan.
There was the strip.
They were sketched. It was improv. I just wanted to be the fourth room. I just
wanted to eke out, you know, some kind of, yeah, some kind of living. Didn't
expect this, but did, but did this ever, did it ever come to fruition while you
were there? Yeah. Oh, we started selling out shows on Saturday and then now what was multiple shows and Friday and that but yes
Nothing like what no, um and Liz and SD have done since since I left. Yeah, let's just say no because we'll we'll have to hear about it
We've won there was one bonus content between him and my father and and I don't know that bill was wrong
But history proved him wrong but he might not have been wrong at the time that he was saying this
things may have changed. Yeah. Be fair to Bill. But Bill always regarded the week nights as a lost
cause. Bill very much felt that the weekends were the show. Yeah. And during the week it was whatever
you could do. And my father, I know No, I want I want to get so we could
It was like friction about getting the best names to come down during the week. Right. Remember this right? No, I don't remember any of this. Yeah, no, so
so and and we and it used to it used to bug my father
but it was many many years before the week nights actually started kicking in so I don't know that it was possible at the time that well
Was there I think
Well, it's funny because you
I mean to do comics instinctually you work weekends so it's in your brain you work weekends
You do spots in the week at crappy places just to work stuff up
But you go on the road and you work you work weekend
So it makes sense what you're saying from a comics point of view but there is these
uncanny his father did have these things that he would implement to be like what the fuck
is that and it worked his father was a a natural showman and the natural emprasario.
And even though comedy was a new genre for him,
the basic physics of show business cross all genres.
And he had a long history of being a shoman
in that neighborhood, in that milieu.
And he, yeah, you just used like nine big words
Nine big words. I just use nine I mean nine
English
Last one that's where you knew you
Maybe once you want to fuck me
Not why I seen oh Well, maybe one thing wants to fuck me. And not one thing.
Oh, well.
You know the French thing makes people crazy.
So, here you are, you open this up.
What makes you go buy-by?
What makes you let this up?
Did you make money?
It's just up and left. Oh, it this is story. He really up and left. No here's here's here's a
story. Did you get a gig? No no I it was the first time going to look at
some of the I don't know if Bill's still bitter about this but there was at one
time Bill did want to become a partner. Yes and we can talk about this right
doesn't matter no. It doesn't matter, be dead in 22 years. Who cares?
22. I have to choose all. We're very happy.
I have term life insurance. And I wanted to save a couple hundred dollars.
I'm only good to January of 2041.
And my father didn't, it wasn't, it was my father,
my father did not believe in partners,
because he had had a very, very bad experience.
Very bad experience.
And so they couldn't come to terms on that.
And I think at that point, maybe Bill then began to look
for other options. I don't know.
Yeah, well, I had to, I felt like,
I felt like I was at a crossroads.
I had done some interesting things.
Hang on one second, just shut the phone off.
Is that done?
Just shut the phone off.
Want me to text her while you're doing it?
I'll tell her we're doing podcasts.
No, just shut the, take it out.
Just take it out.
Unscrew the back.
And then, now just slide it up. I'll unscrew the back and then now just slide it up and then
I'm holding this position for the reason at all. Yeah, just hold that position. You don't have to hold that position.
It's not the old days. It's not film.
I'm very disciplined performer. I can hold this position.
You got it? I'm sorry Liz, thank you very much.
Did you hit record? Yes, it's written.
Okay, great. We're back.
Okay, good.
You're at a crossroads.
You're at a crossroads.
I was crossroads.
Yes.
I had been doing some interesting things in addition to the
comedy seller.
Yes. I had a radio show on WNBC in New York where I was on Saturday
and Sunday afternoon.
A wild-bill-grunt fest show.
The wild-bill-grunt fest show, which some people still
actually remember, like even in LA, people say,
are you the guy?
With his wife.
With, oh, let's show.
So.
Oh, she was the brains in that album.
Yeah.
Come on.
She was so best. She was the best. But he's the best. You know, he's the worst, but he's the best. I was glad it's on you not me. I'm half Irish and half Italian, so
No fuck with his wife. Hey, that came out wrong
It's something like that. I'm pretty sure and if I was tougher, I would know
So so you and your wife had a radio show?
No, it didn't even was so is that in Sunday afternoons from two to seven and then all And if I was tougher, I would know. So you and your wife had a radio show.
No, it didn't even bother us.
So is that any Sunday afternoon from two to seven?
And then also I would sit in, I would fill in
when Don I was was gone or so.
Wow.
So it was gone or Joey Reynolds was gone.
Wow.
And I would do all of that.
So it was a great gig.
Yeah.
And then I was doing, you're running the cellar.
Are you picking the gig? Are you making this? So they had to go through you. You were the gatekeeper. Yes, I was doing now you're running the seller are you picking the get you making us so they had to go through you
You were the gatekeeper. Yes, I was you had a lot of power you were wielding. Yes a lot of power now. Did you
Did you wield it in the right way? Oh did you ever take advantage of it like a Lucian like a
Yeah, hey Kelly come in here. No, just massage me. Yeah, he wants pots on Saturday.
No, be to Kelly Rogers that I would be saying that then put down the guitar and uh, you know,
nobody knows about this. Yeah, mind-bomb, you should have just let it die. Didn't you and Rita
Ruddner have a no. You fucked Rita Ruddner. No. Oh, it's an exclusive. Although, let me say that Rita is just,
has great boobs, just most graceful, you know, person.
Yeah, most graceful female comedian,
that's never been on the stage.
And the most disciplined writer,
she even those, she has a dancers mentality.
She was a dancer.
Yeah.
A Broadway show level dancer.
I was too.
Go ahead.
Okay. And she would have the composition notebooks and she'd always be writing jokes.
She took that same dancers discipline, yeah, joke writing.
Yeah.
And, uh, and she had that same point of view.
Right.
Always.
Right.
The one that she has now, she had back then.
Okay.
So did you or didn't you make out with her?
No.
Nothing at all. You started to parm with her, didn't you make out with her? No, you started to
harm with her, didn't you? No, I took I took I I I sublet her apartment from
her and didn't change any of the decor and so you know when women came over
they thought I was half a fruit, you know, yeah, half a fruit. You know, all
fruit. It's a fruit ball. Yeah, you have evening gowns hanging in the closet.
You're not half a fruit.
I'm the whole produce section.
Let me ask.
So you had all this power.
You were running this.
You had all this stuff going on in New York City.
I'll tell you, we did the exact opposite.
And Manny was on the same page with me, right from the beginning.
Yes.
We did the exact opposite.
The reason, to me, the DNA of the club boils down to how we treated, respected, liked
the comedians.
Yes.
I mean, it boils down to that.
It goes down, let me tell you, from a comedian who works there now, and I think almost 20 years
might be.
It comes down from the top yes
Okay, so when the door guy treatment respect when the waitress treats me respect even if they don't fucking wanna
They do it's because the the the owners and the managers everybody's like look you fucking treat these guys good
Not not that we can you know get out of line of beassholes,
but you go to some clubs, they don't give a fuck
when you're on stage, that the manager doesn't give a shit
about you, they just don't fucking care.
And if you care about the comedians,
the comedians care about the club,
the loyal to the club, the greatest comedians
wanna work there, then you have the greatest shows ever,
and it's this culmination of that.
So that's interesting that you say that.
It was right from the very beginning.
And like when I would say, guys, hey, come down.
I know it's a schlep to come down from the improv.
So we're going to pay you a little bit more than the other clubs, which they do too.
That's right.
So it started right then.
Yeah.
We're going to pay you a little more than the other clubs.
Still not going to pay you what you're actually worth.
But gonna pay you more.
So you know what was it?
10 cents a show.
10 cents a dance.
And also we said it's opposed to like some
of the uptown clubs where you get one drink to get
and you can order anything from this 16th part of the uptown clubs where you get one drink to get and you can order anything from this 16th part
of the menu.
We said, come down, eat, drink.
This is your place.
Having a gig at the salad when I first moved to New York
was dinner.
I mean, getting in at the salad to go down
and have chicken kebab with rice and Israeli salad and
a drink and a ca- and it was like free.
It was like, oh my god.
It was- are there plenty of restaurants at Seinfeld's club?
You don't know.
Just kidding.
That's actually true.
That's not my mind.
That's the good thing he understands.
That's the good thing he understands.
That's the good thing he understands.
That's the good thing he understands.
That's the good thing.
That's the good thing.
That's the good thing. That's the good thing. That's the good thing. That's the good thing. That's the only one that's mine. Natham and just Cole. Natham and just Cole, he said he was wrong.
And he was wrong to tell me in Spread Such Rumor.
So here you go.
So I said, but now did you know Noam back then?
I knew him because.
But here's my message.
Did you like him?
Yes, you want to know something?
I don't know that I ever said this to you.
He didn't say it yet.
Let him say it.
It might not be good.
No, but there, there were times where, you know, five and sons have their, you know,
their fights, their friction. Yeah, friction. Yeah. And, and he would say some,
man, he would say something to me, whatever. And I would say, hey, you know, relax.
Yeah. You son. And by the way, he's your son. Yeah. So, you know,. Yeah, you son and by the way is your son. Yeah, so you know
You got to give him some some slack some understand yes because he's got a little bit of you in him
So, you know, where's that gonna go? Yeah, so it's just all relax and you know, yeah, thank you Bill
You're welcome
I mean, I don't know what you're thinking I'm for you just
He took he was you did try to tell my father to ease up on me a little bit.
All right.
You know, there's an old rabbinical story.
So he says.
I mean, father's alive, he probably haven't.
Now I'm kidding.
There's a rabbinical story about an old rabbi in the 1800s,
and he was in the marketplace, and his, I can't believe I'm kidding.
This is the first rabbinical story on any white
Ever go look up rabbinical
Spaws right now and say Siri what does rabbinical mean? It's you have to say like this
Rebinehle
It's next to genre and will you
And so he was in the marketplace and his student said, rabbi, is there anybody
here in the marketplace who's guaranteed a place in heaven? Yes. And the rabbi looks
around and he says, no. And then two people walk in, two guys walk in and they dress weird
and they don't have fringes on the clothes and he says, those two. And so the students
are on over and go, what do you do? What do you do? And they say, we're comedians. We're comedians. And we make, with people who are sad, we make them
laugh. And when they're quarrels, we try to bring peace. Yeah. And so even the rabbis taught
that comedians are guaranteed a place in heaven. Right. Is this true? This is true. This
is true. Oh, thank God. I've done so much bad shit. With all this wine scene stuff coming up, I'm like I'm going to help.
It's a matter of fact my rabbi made this part of his sermon in Yom Kippur, which we just
had.
That's kid off your phone.
Get off the phone for 10 seconds.
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
1310.
So and then in 1982 yes and then in fourth grade. So what are you
knocking with your eyebrows? Oh come on here. Oh God. This is Mark Cohen just showed up
Sit down sit on over here sit right here sit right here Liz grat let them have that no sit over here
Yeah
Hi buddy. How are you?
How are you? Oh my god? This is I feel like I'm in a bummitch for right now. Are we a Jewish camp?
We're a camp hour crash right now
Yeah, move down here move over here move down here. You get in the camera. Let me check
They got a Jewish frost a father for three years are being comfortable right now
No, we are. Wait a minute. I'm not in the shot. Wait a second. No you're in the shot. I know you like my foster father. Back up a little bit.
Now I'm uncomfortable. Oh, I think you're good living.
You're good.
Jesus, man.
I knew it.
I knew what's wrong, came in.
The speed on this bug gets.
Who is this?
Jesus, you speak of this.
All right, listen.
So we're all the way up to, we're up to where fourth grade.
Where he started.
No, no, the comedy's salary.
And he's had all the things going on in him and Manny. He wanted a piece. So be a partner. Manny was basically like, no, the comedy seller and he's he had all the things going on and him and Manny He wanted a piece of be a partner. Manny was basically like no
He can't you know he saved you know know no man is relationship among numerous times
No, I'm not I'm just said that that in the in the balance of things that goes back to the rabbinical story
Yeah, that people who I know we're all bunch comedy horrors but in terms of yes actually believing in what one does I feel like if I
could cure cancer I'd be out someplace in a lab curing cancer I can't cure
cancer. I think the rabbi's had to hurt Robert's ass.
Yeah I don't think that's a great it. That's a great joke.
That's a great joke.
And I did it because I love my son.
Don't take that out of context.
See the joke before you write that blog on that one.
I'm not sure what context that would work in, but go ahead.
He had baby rash.
So you start to come and say, now, Yeah. All right, so you started the comedy,
now, now this thing, now Mark, you were there when he was there,
or did you come after him?
Oh, no, no, he was there.
I was there pretty close, but you had already been going for a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he's asking if you came to the comedy seller after I'd left.
Yes, as a matter of fact, but I, the full.
No, no, no, you came to the comedy seller while I was still there.
Correct, right.
Yes.
But you weren't there the first night I was there.
SD.
SD was there.
SD called another club.
Right.
Yes.
And they sent me down.
Yes.
And I worked out good for like two weeks.
And then I got in trouble with Rick.
Why?
Why?
Why would you do?
I don't know.
What'd you do?
I didn't really do anything.
I did a pair.
I remember Queen of the Road.
I used to do it.
Queen of the Road. Wasn't that Rick? No. That remember Queen of the Road, I used to do Queen of the Road. Wasn't that Rick? That's Queen of the Road.
Oh, wow.
See, I made it funny.
Wow, you didn't go to the gutter.
He went right to the gutter.
Who's going to hell now?
Go ahead.
But so he thought, he didn't know where it was coming from.
He thought I was against the homo section.
If they speak.
Oh, sorry. And as far as I actually kicked out of the seller for a little while.
Really?
But then you and Rick became fast friends.
We're very good friends.
I mean, it was a fun to say.
You know, can you say hissy fit?
Rick, Rick, like my father never, you can't say hissy fit.
You can't say hissy fit.
My father always defended you.
At that point.
Yeah.
Cloddy.
Cloddy was a big Mark Kohn fan.
Your father had a girlfriend? Yeah, yeah. This is before Avah. I always defended you. At that point, Claudi was a big Mark Owen fan.
Your father had a girlfriend?
Yeah, yeah, this is before I was.
Did you turn the mic off?
Did Liz turn off with the thumb?
Oh, okay, go ahead.
So, but was that, but I don't, we were actually banned?
I was, yeah, the SD said don't come by anymore.
Oh my God.
For like a couple of weeks, I don't know how I ended.
I did.
But you sure that was because of some,
that, or she didn't see your set.
She said that she had a bavocca shop for the 15th time before we got so good.
I don't know what that means.
Google that too.
She had a bavocca shop.
Oh, Jews!
So it sounds worse than it was, but that really worked out.
So now, so was the seller?
Can you get off your phone?
You're like a 13 year old girl. It it's somebody texting me about about a comedian right and all I can read so far was it was consensual
We'll talk about it. No, no, no, wait
Okay, of course you yes, what are we watching you?
So let me finish but that's what made's what I asked somebody who used to work there.
Like, you remember when you was at, was that okay?
I hardly wise your mind when she said no, it was consensual.
What you did.
It wasn't me.
Oh, sorry.
What?
Some comedian and some girl did?
Really?
And said it was consensual.
Wow.
Wow.
It's years ago.
Okay, so listen.
Do I know the girl?
Do I know the comedian?
Yes. Really? In rhymes. We're going to do that to us. So the girl yeah, do I know the girl? Yes, do I know the comedian? Yes
Really really? We're gonna do that to us it runs with booey DK
Booey DK booey
He's Robinson He threw up and said
What's up? With blonde L. Herodin
You've all referenced the couch
And this cat knows how to
We know it's not tick chrome
We know it's not tick chrome. Oh, sorry
I just said his name Listen, so so now the comedy sellers poppin right now, right? Yeah, it's killing you come in
So it wasn't killing well when I when I when I was good when I was left when I left yes, we were doing three
You leave a good terms absolutely. Okay, okay
You live a good terms? Absolutely.
Okay.
When he's pumping, when I started, it was jammed.
We were doing three shows on Saturday.
My doing, that's a joke.
Three shows on Friday, two shows on Friday.
Two shows on Saturday.
Two shows on Friday.
And then one long show every other night of the week.
Like a continuous show.
Yeah, no, yeah, that's what they used to have.
When I started the seller, I remember she would call you up to
host and you just you'd want to cry because it was from nine to two and less godfrey was
on the last spot. Then it was nine to three because he would he would ignore the light.
And then I like 20 minutes over the light and you'd flick it on off. He goes, Oh, do you
give me the light? I
Said I said I said it lighten his money on fire
I would hold his money in the in the thing and I'd light it on fire, but you want to know something about those long hours
Some people turn back to their advantage school. It was school
That's right. It was good. I'm seeing John Stewart as And John Stewart, as a matter of fact, look that up to.
John Stewart.
Is he Jewish too?
Yes.
He actually, he told us to do the LA Times.
They did an interview with him and among the things he talked about was how I would give
him midnight to two, to host.
And he said that's when he really learned the most.
That's when he came up with Yinnlock.
Google that.
Do you have a Torah?
Put the fuck in the eyes.
No, can I say something to that?
I agree with that, because I used to have to nine to two.
And it was just, when you first got it,
like oh my God, but halfway through a two year de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la idea de la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de pelÃcula y un sincÃn de aventuras desperan.
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Go with somebody, now somebody bumps, you got to get them, let them go.
And you had to learn how to, to let a crowd go when you got them and get them back and
give up your ego to the show.
Give up your ego to the show.
Learn that part.
Well, what a talk.
We're going to learn that.
We're going to learn that.
We're going to learn that. That would have what a talk. It taught me.
We're going to learn that.
That would have been a way.
I did learn that because by,
by, it's not debatable.
It says the man with the biggest ego in the room.
Okay.
I didn't say it.
But the weird thing is when you move from,
when you go from New York to LA,
I was like, hey, let me MC and they're
like, okay, and then I get a call from some of the managers like, don't MC at the clubs
in LA because you'll be the MC.
The MC is like the worst guy on the show.
I'm like, that doesn't make sense.
It should be the best guy or one of the, you know, yeah.
Well, you know what I mean?
It should be something that can do what you said.
That's right.
Get the back out.
But people always hate hosting, but it's like middle, like even on the road, I always say,
the middleer is the worst spot because it's the best spot.
You do 20 minutes, it doesn't matter.
You can kill it, you're best 20.
Nobody get, no way to the shows on you.
You're not selling tickets, you're not opening up the room,
you don't have to go, the host is the hardest,
but you learn the most because you have to learn how to control that massive crowd
and get them, and as soon as you get them,
let them go to the next guy.
I love the middle though, that's on the road
and it's just spend the whole week trying to bury you.
The headliner, it's like, you know,
I'm gonna get, so I can headline.
Yeah.
I like that too, never happens.
Yeah, I don't think that's horrible.
Yeah, that's what I was about. The road, we do the road. I I know that's the place outside of New York City.
Yeah, outside, yes. That's you know, sleep. What are you doing now? What do you have going on?
Nobody else is getting in. I mean, you're on the phone. I'm at the door. No, no mess. Look at no mess a lot of stuff going on
I've been this was lying this morning
And I heard you guys were having a good time. We have it. You must have heard us laugh. I heard the fake laughter
I heard the fake laughter. That was for me.
Listen, well, I mean, now you, I just want to wrap this up now.
I can talk, well, having such a good time,
because gnome is deteriorated.
I know gnome.
You don't need me.
You don't need me.
No, no, because I need you because we're getting into your era.
We're going to be getting into your era because I'm trying to 1940s.
These fucking mule and grims want to just yap.
I hosted it.
It was two or nine.
And then I came in and I took the thing over and then I was in it.
Yeah, please, bill left.
We didn't know.
And was it like, is there life after Bill Grunfess?
Like, what are we going to do?
Like, like, there was a, most people life after Bill grunt fest like what are we gonna do like like there was a
Most people probably thought we were done right just for the record. Yes, that's how it said the business
It was holding back for the 20 years. You're a wait on manny's chest
Time Rick became funny
Lusion
I don't call it an illusion
Important
Illusion I didn't know Rick was gay
I just read it. I don't know his was gay. I didn't know Rick was gay. He's mad at God.
I didn't know his gay for the first time.
He wasn't gay when I was fucking out for the first time.
The first three years I was working in the cellar
and then Pete Coralie comes off stage.
One night he goes, Jesus, guys, gay.
And I go, I go, I go, Rick.
He's like, he's gay, he goes, dude.
And he points in, Rick, going, you can sacrifice his sacra, stand in the back row.
And I was like, oh my God, I never knew it.
You know, Gator, it goes off when? It was sucker before Rick though, right? Yes
Before Rick Charles Hooker was there for like a year. He was great. He was great
So great, but then but where did you go?
I would tell that and you and you and you what happened you became a writer on a show correct? Yeah, yeah
What happened was this before I left I had done a couple of Russian robber?
Liz I've only there in his own time what happened was this, before I left, I had done a couple of Russian robber. Don't rush him.
Let's have fun there in his own time.
You were talking to the political story.
Go ahead.
So I wished, I like his words.
I have done the couple of.
I had them in fifth grade.
And then I had done a couple of, one time.
You were in one of my specials. Yes, the chicken the chicken that ate Christmas. I
Did a couple of specials for VH1. Yes VH1
Wanted to do because I had the radio show in NBC. Yes, I had the comedy sellers
Yes, and VH1 started becoming interested or let's do a comedy special. You know, let's do
So I never thought so how else are you gonna find out?
So why do you turn to a rabbi?
What are you gonna do?
Never gonna do it.
I'll tell you right now if you should.
You're face.
Phil Ash has become less Jewish to impersonate a rabbi. I said great idea, great idea, but here's the problem't I knew something they didn't know which is I had no act
I do not have an act you a bit of the salad with stand
My I've did not feel that my act yes would withstand the scrutiny of a stand-up because you were you were a host
I was an essence of a host. Yes, I was an entertainer. I didn't have you know I neverer. I never became as good as I wanted to be as a comic.
But my point is in.
And so we did the first special.
I said, how about this?
For the same amount of money that you're going to spend on the stand-up,
I'll write a whole script and it'll be a thing and it'll be like a romantic comedy and I wrote this thing and Jessica
Tuck who was a soap opera star at the time she was like it was like a Harry Met Sally
And we use the music videos of course a tell in the story and it went great
It went and when you were like writing it as it was going right?
Do I remember that correctly? I might be right. Well, you have to adjust as you go.
But so that went really well and they gave me a second one
that Mark was in.
It was called the Chicken the Eight Christmas.
And it was in, and he played, it was about a guy,
a real asshole, like a real, I played the asshole.
Typecasting.
And he's about a guy who worked for a a chemical waste company.
Have you been dying to tell the story for a long time?
I told the last night.
Okay.
You can't get him, Faber.
We haven't got him yet.
I have to be right. can't get them fair we haven't got them yet that
that
that's going to be in his
and
i stole from some place completely
so uh... i played a guy who uh... we chemical waste company we didn't make the the chemicals. We just made the waste and these things work on batteries
Yeah, we need to speed this shit up, okay
Where so let's show you right on so then not the first one that the good one
That's what turned me on to the idea of maybe writing right going's going to be the thing. Because at that point I was 34.
I looked in the mirror and I said,
you know something, I've had this shot,
I have a dish out in the dish out.
If I was going to become a star, it would be happening.
It's not happening.
But the writing was cutting through
when people started.
Hang on one second.
Okay, go ahead.
I went to LA with my scripts under my arms and I just schmoozed people and I would say
meet people every place I'd say, and they would say, what do you do?
I'd say, I'm a writer.
And they would tell me, I'd love to read your stuff sometime.
Cool.
And instead of, everybody says, I'd love to read your stuff sometime.
But I would hand them my stuff.
Oh my God.
And hand them an envelope with three scripts in it.
Wow. And that's what they would say. They would say, wow. I Oh my God. And hand them an envelope with three scripts in it. Wow.
And that's what they would say.
They would say, wow.
Yeah, it was kidding.
Exactly.
And but about one more person.
You had homework from people.
Yes.
But about 25% of the people that I gave scripts to actually
would call me and say, hey, I enjoyed it.
Or whatever.
Really?
So whatever.
That's a good person.
And then one, that is a good person.
And then one of them called to say, we
want to option this thing.
Hey, my name is Loretta. I met you on a bus. You gave me this script
I'm sorry. I'm the president. Oh, I love my
Step to my point sign. You're fucking ass. I was doing a black. What were you gonna say?
I did a black lady in a bus was one of the ladies that he had a character with a backstory. I did a black lady in a bus
I had a character with a backstory. I did a black lady on a bus.
Loretta, I'm Loretta.
You gave me the spirit on the bus.
I think it was good.
You know what I mean?
We stepped on my punchline.
When it buried Ivan show up.
I really thought I saw the light in the tunnel.
Like what?
No, it's a fucking, we're at another fucking strip.
Another tunnel.
Get to the good one, would you?
It's a trouble.
Oh my god.
Can you not make us read this is like reading the story
All right, so I was called who's on the president. It was about a comedian okay who for publicity stunt runs for president
And it's definitely wins bill nobody's gonna buy it now
definitely wins. Bill, nobody's gonna buy it now. All right. No, they're making it. I'm making it. No, they have this thing in the mayor. There's about an entertainer who runs from
mayor and wins. It's a black guy. You wouldn't be injured. I love black people. Why would you say that?
I don't have no glass at my comedy show, but all first. Because they're late. Now I'm getting
out. Come on, we can make fun of the Jews not the blacks
George is black right judge
So so absolutely so we do a table again. I get it. We do a table read here's who the table read is Yeah, are you gonna go to Kvel? Okay, okay?
You think we're almost Bill more wow played, played the guy. Yeah, they're cute. Okay, Larry Miller played his his agent. Okay, who becomes the chief of staff? Okay in the way. Yeah
Mickey Dolan's directed Wow
Yeah, George Wallace was oh my god was Uncle Phil. Yeah, and
Anyway, so you can imagine how funny that table read way that's crazy. I mean
That's a pretty epic those guys are all hilarious and you know, and then I got my first job to make it's long story short
Yes, it's a way for that
You got my first job the show got canceled and then Matt about you got made and I was with the pilot
Yes, oh with the matter you were the pilot as a writer. Yeah. As the head writer? No, no.
You were producer? I was a writer producer throughout the show from the beginning. Wow.
And he came head writer. You became head writer, right? No. I was a super writer who gave head.
How do you think I got the job? I was supervising producer the show.. I wrote more episodes than anybody else ever wrote. That's amazing.
So you were one of the writers on the show, I mean a hit show for what, eight years,
nine years, seven years. And then, sorry. So that did very well. And then, you know, development
deals after that. And then other stuff. And then I did, and then one of the things that
I, you know, in my career, is I did a thing for show the things that I you know micro is I did a
thing for showtime with Richard prior where I actually produced Richard's last two projects
of his life really so I'm saying that's what killed him but the point is now the point
is there's actually title pages that say written by Richard Pryor and Billy Gregg.
Wow.
Which is crazy.
Did you frame that?
Frame it, laminated it, have a wallet size.
Hand it to people at Starbucks.
Would you like to read something?
You were three scripts.
You were a little Bill Grunfuss, right?
Or is that a joke?
Remember that were you a little Bill Grunfuss?
No, it was Wild Bill Grunfuss.
Wild Bill Grunfuss.
No, I'm talking about when you were naked.
You were a little Mark mark. That's it
Although the girls named you all the waitresses. Um, so now but you are I'm gonna wrap this up
But you guys came in you came in after that now you're in the cellar right before me, right? Yeah
Yes, and now it starts kicking in but I remember when I came to the seller it was dead
I mean we'd be there on a Monday a Tuesday a Wednesday
Nobody was there. We'd have to perform in front of maybe 15 people 10 people keep going and then people would slowly filter in and out
And there were times that man he would make the wait. I mean there was no not one person
Yeah, and he would make the waiters to sit there
So there was somebody in the comedians have to go up right just so somebody would see a show going on
And now and then business dipped you know in the 90s have to go up. Right. So somebody would see a show going on, you know. And now, and then, business dipped, you know, in the 90s, I guess,
there was a, every place.
Late 90s.
Every place.
It's mid 90s.
Yeah, mid 90s to the,
and then in 2000s, it picked up.
But now here we are again, it's saturated again.
It's never been like this.
It's never been like this, but it's,
is do you think it's gonna die?
Do you think it's gonna go back down?
All right, relax.
No, but you guys, it's usually in New York. Why do you say that? In New York, it's is do you think it's going to die do you think it's going to go back down alright relax but you guys it's the in New York why why do you say in New York it's
a different world comedy wise well I mean it's it's it's saturated maybe in New York
but I think comedy now comedy now in New York especially but around I mean comics became
the new rock stars people started seeing comedians like they saw bands like aros miss sound of the garden all around
I mean these comics big comics
Burseled out the garden and he doesn't have a show right just on the strength of his standup and and and what do you do?
What do you mean he doesn't have a show? He doesn't have a TV he does have a TV
He is probably from YouTube videos and whatever's going and he has a special. He has a TV show on
I met a square guard stop stop stop stop. He is special. He has a TV show on. He's got a Madison Square guard.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
He has a TV show on Netflix.
What TV show is it?
It's animated TV show about his family.
It's a very honest second season.
So he does have a show.
Yes, he did prior to that, but I don't want to say
he doesn't have a show.
They do have a show because I'm going to hit.
Damn, that'll have to show.
Tell him to shut his face.
He has shut.
How great is it, not a huge?
No, he is great. He's unbelievable. On the merit shut his face. His show, that's how great he is, not him. Now he is great.
He is unbelievable.
On the merit of his standup is what you're saying.
But even beyond the comedy,
people used to come and see plays
or go to the theater or stuff.
Now you come to New York City,
you're going to a comedy club.
And it's the seller.
I mean, you're coming to the seller to see a show.
And on top of that, as I recently learned,
that not only is the cellar, like, the comedy show,
but in all of New York's attractions
across all the attractions, the comedy cellar
is like the number two thing.
What's number one?
A trip advisor.
It's Mark.
You got a punchline?
The comic strip.
Wow. I think I'm over like a big apple bus or something. I mean, I don't know if I could
I could have I could have I couldn't have set you up any and I didn't have an attitude to us
I should have let you I should have gave you a data right it out
Are people developing in New York still though? Yes, people like you that are six. Well, here's the thing in New York now is that you can,
I'm famous from, I have fame, believe it or not,
from the Comedy Seller.
I have, when I go on the road, now,
they're like, we saw you the first time
at the Comedy Seller.
Like they would see me like on Louis,
or they saw me in Sex Drugs,
or OP Anthony Fans, or even this podcast.
People come up to me like, do it on a friend of the podcast.
A lot of people come up and go, oh, we went on vacation and we saw you at the seller.
And why are you doing the same act?
You're on the road, you've had six years.
Please don't repeat the thoughts in your head.
I know.
I've had jokes I've been doing for 40 years.
No, I read.
I read.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
I'm just.
What year did you start at the seller?
I started.
It had to be, wow, the boat ride is 2,099. started it had to be Wow the boat ride is
2,099 so it had to be a year before that or two years ago, so 98
97 97 98 I started I think I was in at the Boston comedy club first
Then I remember my my agent a manager at the time was a guy. We're gonna do a spot at this club
I was like cool and I walked over I didn't know about that's the didn't know about the history
I was just over at the Boston you know going up after Chappelle J more brewer Patrice
You know what I mean it was Boston comedy club at that time had all the young
Holy shit's coming up, okay, and you guys were over at the cell and then
So I remember I went over there and he's like, oh, you got to do five minutes and I met SD I was like, hey, how you doing nice to meet you?
blah blah blah okay, you go up and but I went up and just fucking murdered for five minutes and I walked off
I was like, all right cool. She's like, okay, give a call. And I got in and then I've been in ever since.
But I was 145 spot for years.
That's why I love guys bitching.
These fucking young guys come in now.
And they're like, they think they, you know,
they deserve it.
Well, they know it's, they think it's a bad thing.
Well, you don't.
And it's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing.
The 145 spot to close the show to end the show
Is they want somebody who's can do it number one wasn't empty that two o'clock?
It wasn't like sometimes sometimes it was but you know what you know what complaining now?
It's not empty what no now. It's a full room, but it's it's it is crazy that you know these some you who I want earlier spots
It's like earn them. Yeah, I had a fucking Ernam.
I remember when I finally said,
I was a guest, you know, I'd like,
and she was like, okay,
and she gave me an earlier spot and it was hosting.
That sounds like nine to fucking two now.
So I took that, whatever.
I quit hosting because I think those spots push you
to become better, and I think they also they
You know when you when you want to be here on the schedule you got to keep keep fucking working hard and it got me out of those spots
I mean look I still close all the fucking shows. It's not get carried away. Am I right? I'm still bitching half the time
Oh, it's just annoying. I gotta go up at the end of every five because I oh, it's a cut. I hate this too because you're so good
It's a it's a compliment go fuck yourself
They want me to clean up whatever mess there's gonna be if the guys too famous and nobody can follow after guys
Thanks and I gotta go up and clean up the best of when the show was pumping though the middle show
You'd have a spot and they go okay go on do three minutes
Cuz I'd have to we got to get the show over oh
I got that I got to get the show over. Oh, I got that.
I got to repeat jokes.
I got, when I used to host, I used to host, I used to do,
I didn't know what jokes I did.
It'd be like quarter of two and I do,
I remember one night I did the same joke
and I went, why are you guys not laughing at that?
Cause I knew it killed and like you just did it.
You did it to my set.
You did the same jokes.
Oh my God. Crazy. And
I once a day is too much. At the end of the night, sometimes Mark Cohen, and Rick and John Stewart,
there were nights where the people wouldn't leave. And so we would try to drive them out. But just
by being as bad and as stupid as possible, but it just got funnier.
That's hilarious.
And the people wouldn't leave
because they were, they were,
wanted to see what these idiots do.
They used to, when I had a set,
they used to know them,
and they would send up a tray of six, seven vodka shots.
Really?
Yeah. Why?
I would drink them during my set.
What are you gonna drink?
And they would all get a kick,
and then towards the end,
I would get two drugs, so they would make like three vodka and three water, and then I would drink them during my sleep. And they would all get a kick. And then, towards the end, I would get two drugs,
so they would make like three vodka and three water.
And then I would drink them with the hygiene.
I wouldn't know, but I would.
Now, you knew all these guys coming up,
but you went in a totally different way.
Comedy wasn't your thing, Dom.
No.
I thought you were talking to me.
I'm like, wow, that's fucking brutal.
You dropped.
Mark, I was.
No, listen. That's what Bobby said. Wow, that's fucking brutal. You dropped it. Mark, I was. You dropped it.
No, listen, that's what he said.
Listen, let me finish.
So now comedy seems to be your thing.
Well, you've seen him play music.
Wow, his father.
But his father, comedy wasn't your father's thing
the whole time.
It became his thing. And he really took care of it
Nurtured it and the he started the table. I mean we can say that people claim that they started he started the table correct
It wasn't it wasn't calling or was it who nick the Paula? What did he say?
Man we need a place really there's no place where to sit down.
We need someplace we can sit.
And he did it.
Yeah, that's great.
I have a little bit of a jag on that particular story,
but you go ahead.
Oh, what?
Go ahead.
A little bit of a, man and I used, man he would say,
the comedians are spread out all over the olive tree.
So they're taking up all the tables.
And I said to him, well, perhaps we should,
you know, kind of collect, collect, I chose you.
Well, I didn't use the word, you know,
the comedian's table.
But you said a table.
Yes, but comedians would sit at it.
He didn't listen to me until Nick said,
and then it'd be like valedine.
And then you would have to get invited over.
I still play that the chicken kebab was too garlicky for a year
That's how I said you got yeah, well and then one day Jerry Seinfeld came in and said
It's a little garlicky man. That was it
Yeah, I want to who else is like that my wife
I wonder who else has that trace. Oh, wait
Huh, no, no, no, no, nobody's something about me. Huh? You have something about me.
No, no, nobody's talking about you.
You don't have people behind you that work with you all the time just looking at the back
you head right now, pointing at you like this as soon as I said that.
Nobody did that.
But also in my...
You said you had some problems.
How many is my thing now?
Is that what I'm talking about?
No, also what?
Say it, go ahead.
Take a hit.
No, I don't remember.
I don't know if that I I know it's
interesting but I just trying to understand
the dynamic of my father somehow because
he bill was really the man at the time
yes yes and because it wasn't my father
on the line yeah it was easier for him
to say no to the table yes then when he
was fully involved in it right and then
he's like no we need a comedy you're right right. You have to be in those shoes to really see
it. Oh, because he didn't understand that they needed that. I just, I can't picture
him having said, no, except that you were asking for. He's like, no, we can't devote a table
to some comedians, you know. Yeah. But unless the Egyptian. It's, it's, I think it's, it's
that kind of thing like where I can I can tell
Is a different between him going hey, manny. Maybe we should have a table and they're going what the fuck I got this fat
Jubrod from fjorkers yap in my ear. I've given me a table, manny also
Also, there's that how many was in our main income at that time the sea Yeah, or maybe a lot busy I don't know what you're with
Now is it true very busy very busy
was a little bit of a business at the time
Which don't you miss doing what you used to do with the law?
I mean like you still still does it Friday nights really I saw that video yeah
At the all of tree no, but I mean like with the band we have a band pieces I do miss it I had to choose
what to do I couldn't do it all and you'll understand this you can explain to Robert um
what am I I'm right here I can understand oh okay sorry uh we on the we on the building
where the comedy seller is right we on the real estate and in the law I had like three more
years on my lease. And so I
had to throw in what I could count on, which was the
comedy-seller. And what a good choice it was. I mean,
come on. Well, I don't know. I mean, it is because you went
over to the village underground and music was there. And
now it's comedy. And now there's a comedy club upstairs.
And pretty soon you're going to make the bar into a comedy
club.
He means good choice like because's business wise. Well, I mean business wise
It's a pleasure either the comedy star that I'm up because you're not because you're a performer
You're not up there and yeah, that's exactly like the in the law it was you you were a star
I was well, it's not just I was you ran you ran it. I I arranged the music
I it was so if it was successful
When it was a line around the corner wise I did that right in the comedy seller
You guys write the jokes. Yes, so it's not I mean, I'm happy
Right and I I do understand that that I would you're a big part of that
There's something about facilitating it which matters big big party
And I and I could point to some I can't talk about them
I guess but I can point to some key decisions that were made which made a huge difference. Yeah nevertheless. Yes. I can't take pride. Yes. You kill. Yeah. It's still you. Yes. Yes. You giving us. They're the ones. They're the ones walking
out going that was the best that I ever had. But they don't understand that that to facilitate that thing had something to do with the two. I just turn on the lights.
Like, what do I do?
Well, Liz does it.
You don't do that.
Liz does it.
And George actually makes lights available.
So yeah, you don't do shit.
You're right.
And it's certain way you're right.
You make good choices on people to do things for you.
Yeah.
Well, so you play at the playing the all-tree on Friday and I keep playing, but it's amazing. It's not like the warm things.
It's not like I do get pleasure.
Very loud, but it's good.
I do get pleasure on the cell.
Yes, but not the pleasure that I wish I got out of it.
Right.
But you could someday, if you wanted to go back to playing but I mean it's yeah
I'm also lost so much in my hearing. I don't think it's a good idea. Is that your phone?
This is my lawn because I
Jeff why chunk is calling?
Well, we're gonna wrap this up right now because now he's getting on the phone with a lawyer
Where he we're all here in Vegas. Can you not?
Can you Christmas bells on his phone? Oh my God. I love that he plays dumb with electronics.
I tried to turn the phone off that I'm on all day long.
It was hung up.
All right, listen, we're here in Vegas.
We're not going to say anything.
But it's, what?
What?
No.
I've said it many times on my show.
Really?
Look into the camera.
I thought that's what this was before.
What?
What are you?
Why did you just turn to Italian? I thought this is that this is a four that Tourette's thing is gonna
We're gonna be opening in Las Vegas
A fee a cafe while this is gonna be fantastic you're playing in Las Vegas
Where are you gonna open it? What?
What and I set up that's where you can open it at the real we're right right now
Wow, that's a page and casino small room, but it will put We'll put it in my room. Just a worse room ever.
It really is.
It's just a terrible week by the way.
You know, the molding is coming off the tub.
Before we even get the club open,
because you would not insult the real.
I'm kidding.
Who the hell would put a club in this channel?
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
This actually, this is very beautiful. It is. It isn't it. I tell you this is why the every
I this cut this is why the casinos great. I'll tell you why every room is a sweet
Yeah, this one every no all the month. No, no, no, no, just the real just the real just the real
Oh molding even do right?
It's all sweet hotel. It keeps the water in the tub. Listen, no
Listen It's all sweet hotel. Keeps the water in the tub. Listen, no, no, no. Listen.
Listen.
It's a, no, no, no.
It is.
Every room's a suite, which is awesome.
To have a big room like this and a great pool.
Yeah, beautiful pool.
It's a great casino.
And I heard they have a great comedy club opening up.
I tell you what, not some point.
Not a great one.
Not the best.
Oh, oh.
And if it wasn't for you, and if it wasn't for you,
and if it wasn't for George, and if it wasn't for Liz,
and if it wasn't for me, and of course, the light switch.
If it wasn't for me.
If it wasn't for me.
I was a boy.
If it wasn't for Manny having a son to keep turning the lights on.
All right, Liz and man, next time I come to Vegas, I want to do another one.
You're in LA, right?
Yes, next time you're all the time.
Next time I want to do one on the the when you took over I'd like to do
another thing on the number. He wasn't even halfway finished. But I know. I know. But I can't. He's a writer.
They talk. It was mad about you at 25 years ago. Was that 25 years ago? 25 years ago. Let me see 91 to 91 to 99.
I'm sorry to call I want to 99
All right, see when he looks up China now he's a he's a comedy consultant in China. I what is that I adapt I adapt
Do you speak Chinese? No, that's amazing but I know how I did I adapt shows for the Chinese audience really
I met about you was a big hit in China. Wow. It's not just translating you have to anthropologically
Look it to anthropologically, look it up. Anthropologically, uh, adapt to the stories. So you're on camera. Get off the
phone to, uh, oh god, you got to talk. I ended on a, on the whole light switch thing.
We're ended. Now he's back in with five silver words again. Oh my god. The one
of you father didn't want to table with just him sitting at it. I mean, you sit there
on, oh, night fucking, you sit there all night,
fucking, you know, man, let me say something, man, he got had a
jury planning on the median table. Oh, God, let you know what I'm not doing this. Give
it up for everybody, Bill Greff has Mark Cohen, um, um, um, no, no,
home. Uh, he goes, he thought I was talking about him. We got George, we got Liz. This
is another why live white KWD. You got George, we got Liz. This is another live YKWD.
You got two of them this week.
This one is definitely my favorite.
Thanks for listening, and we'll see you guys next time on,
you know what?
You've been listening to YKWD Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
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