Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Pandemic

Episode Date: March 15, 2020

In the midst of the Coronavirus panic in NYC, Bobby is joined by Chuck Nice, Jaye McBride and Monroe Martin to get thru the misinformation about the outbreak with help from Dr. Steve!    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma mal, a Madrid. Now! We're back, you know what to do. I welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I'm YKWD. I started the social media podcast. YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD.

I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD.

I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD. I'm YKWD are winning this Brick of ball game I'm sorry It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original

All right, that's right. We're here We're here We're here. We're here, everybody. We're here in downtown West Village. We are spraying everything. We came here to do this show live for you, the Patreon members, the YKWD members, the YouTube members, the people have been there when we all started this.

Before the fucking corona took out the planet, and we're here right now. Because we're comedians. We're not running scared. Right now everything has just happened. It's all kind of, Tom Hanks. Oh, damn. Tom Hanks.

Damn. Tom Hanks has got it. It's Tom, I'm going live. I'm going live, Mike. I'm going live right now on my my social media. I'm going to I'm going to put this on for a little bit. We got to go live. This is just to this is too much. There's Chuck nice. Yeah, man. Make a Chuck nice. What's happening? I got let me flip this around. How do you flip it? How do you flip it? I think a double tap there it is right there. Listen, we're live right now on Instagram.

We're live in the studio for the Patreon. We're gonna go live right here on Instagram for a little bit. We have Chuck Nices here. What's up, baby? Chuck Nices. How you doing, Chuck? Good to see you, man.

Chuck Nices. Let me flip that around. Chuck Nices live in the studio. You take it down. Did you take a subway? I did okay? Perrell you some Perrell, you know what? I don't touch it when I'm on the subway. I'm good You take it down. No, I don't even the lady who's by the way though. I carry gloves when I'm on the subway And I think and no I take them off when I don't touch them when I take them off. We got Jamie bride

Hey, Jay, you don't care about Corona do you? Don't give a shit that worse. You have had worse. This is nothing. Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ. I just love that you're proud of it and I'm with you. Okay. The fact that you're proud of it makes me with you. If anything, the Corona is gonna fight the other virus in my body. You're like Corona saving me. Are you kidding me? Corona is saving my life. We got, we got, we got, we got, I mean, look, right now, breaking news, breaking news.

Did you just told me this and I am freaked out right now? Tom Hanks, yeah. And his wife Rita Wilson. Rita Wilson. Coronavirus. Both of them. I mean, everybody loves Tom Hanks. And this, this is real, right?

Now, I mean, this, Tom Hanks has, this is real, right? Now, like Tom Hanks, he cuts down barriers. Yes. He's like Denzel. Everybody loves Denzel. He's not black. Why? He's Denzel. He has no actual affiliation with anything.

He's Tom Hanks. He played Mr. Rogers and people thought he was nicer than Mr. Todd. Exactly. That's how nice this guy is. Hang on, what's that guys? What do you want to do? Everyone's so wild. We should sell that pure on eBay.

You get like 50 bucks. I say, this is just come. It's clear. I, it might come. What are you eating? My calm apparently kills eggs in women's vaginas. You know what? I just, I was about to say, I would like to suck your dick.

But then I don't know why I was about to say that. The last dick you want to say. If I like to suck your dick, but then I don't know why I was about to say that. The last dick you wanna say. If I had a nickel. Let me say something. If coronavirus had a smell, it would be my dick. But anyways, we got, they shut down the NBA, is done for. Really? These are the two things I just learned since I've been

in this studio. Jesus. And it's totally freaking me out. Yes. Because you first told me, Tom Hanks, Rudy Wilson, and then my wife texted me, she was like, Tom Hanks and Rudy Wilson. Yeah, because you didn't believe me.

And I didn't believe you. Because I'm white. Exactly. Okay. Please, look at me. Why should I ever believe you? Okay. Like you told me, let's just, we're just going for a cruise.

Like, that's my history. Oh, no. Anyway, I still believe that's a seaman. I just still do. It is, it actually, however, however, here's the thing. Can I say this? You also said this. Yes. You told me about the NBA. Yes. Can you please give me some more information? We're getting the information. I haven't heard that at all. I'm telling you right now NBA right now the rest of the season is done and there's a 30 day ban on travel to Europe. They're done. That's a mistake.

That's a mistake. That's a mistake. Yes it is. That's the whole country. Nobody can fly in here from Europe. Yeah. You're done and that is not, did you know Italy listen to me?

It's not a mistake because a lot of people, Italy is shut down. Yeah, because they were like, we're good and now that's not a mistake. Right, the main thing is not a mistake. Who you don't need? I'll take that back, I'll take it back. It's maybe not a mistake.

500, I think 600 people died in Italy for this. They have more than any country except China. Dude, listen to me. More than any country except China. They're shut down. So this shit is real is what you're saying. Businesses in Milan, you are done. You can't open a store.

The only thing that's open is pharmacies and I think medical places. I mean, it's done. It's over. And Westchester where I live, it's round zero for the coronavirus. New Richel. One guy took a train and went to the synagogue.

Yes, he did. Over 100 people have now. Have it now. In that one area, that's how it spreads. So my kid has been out of school for the whole week. I didn't put him in, where's Tomari starts, he's gonna hate it. He starts at nine o'clock homeschool.

I'm gonna make him dumber. Home school is gonna be in our teacher. You need a biology teacher. I'll really fuck him up. Daddy, I got him back to school. You teach? No. He's gonna hire you.

Let's go say biology, you got me there? No, I can teach him. I would love to have you teach my kid. I need somebody. I have a math degree. You have a math? Yeah, how much you charge? What do you got?

Come on. I was doing a good standing. That would be for me. I had a transgender math teacher from my six year old son from Boston named Maximus. Of course we're open. Come on, because we're woke, we're woke. I mean, I get a special.

I get a special. I get a Netflix specialist. I'm woke. Bobby Kelly, the ally of the trans population. I know I am. I am. You totally are. From the beginning.

From the beginning. Even if you guys fail, Jay. I mean, everybody, not Jay. You are, you totally are. From the beginning. From the beginning. Even if you guys say, I mean, everybody, not you, Kelly, this meant before the, all right. So, am I, am I a wrong person? Am I unwoke if I, if I did not know you were transgender?

No, no, no, no, no. If you knew and then walked out in a hop. I was then unwoke. Okay, cool. Cause I'm just finding out right now. If you did, you'd be gullible.. Okay, cool. Because I'm just finding out right now. He didn't know you'd be gullible. No, seriously, I'm just finding out. He didn't shake it in.

Yeah, he didn't be near sighted. He didn't shake it in, not because of the corona. He just took it out. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. You son of a bitch. I like my dick, I'm giving it. That's so funny.

No, I'm sorry, did I? That's not an out thing, right? No, no, no, no, no, no. I said I'm just kidding. No, no, I think it's great, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. What's it in your act, fuck? Oh yeah, what's it's in your act, fuck. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right now on my Instagram. We are live on the we're going to cut this off in a second. So if you're not a member of my Patreon patreon.com Silesharabakhali, we're going to be calling Dr. Steve and we're going to ask him all the questions you want to ask. So if you have any questions, what's the email Mike?

RK Patreon at what? at gmail dot com rk patreon at gmail dot com ask your questions dr. steve will be answering him and he's one of the smartest guys I know and I know we joke around we bust balls of course but i'm telling you uh there's a lot of stuff he told me that made it a little easier for me to live but like what i'm i'm not gonna i'm not gonna bury the lead i fucking love you uh bob I love you. I do He's like Chuck. Do you not realize I don't care about this pandemic? I'm doing a show. Yeah I'm actually doing it. I'm gonna get there five bucks before they die. What's your fucking problem? Plus if I I need my Patreon support

Chuck if they die after they sign up right I still get my I still get it They need to earn that free t-shirt. They do you know harder is for them to cancel that? That's gonna be like eight months a year If they're relatively I'm like wait what's this five dollars we're paying for? Ten years from now The more people that sign up with this virus like isn't that Bobby Mania with a mess doesn't have something like that Where he's like a million dollars a year for the next 50 years? We got my room Martin Martin, coming up.

We're going live right now, patreon.com.sets.com. This episode of course will be up for everybody free on Sunday, but why wait till then? Go join right now if you're watching this. And Dr. Steve, I'm gonna call him right now on my phone, so you guys take care. Listen, Tom Hanks has this unbelievable. That's unbelievable.

This is serious now. Now it's no joke. See, but that's the the in a way that's pathetic and in a way it's kind of cool because people will actually take a note, like serious note of what's happening because it's how those are. I was going to a commercial break, but he just added another thought. So hang on. Sorry.

Sorry. No, because your TV's been a long time since I've done radio, man. So you're right. I'm a TV guy. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No, because your TV's been a long time since I've done radio, man. So, you're right. I'm a TV guy, like, I'm sorry. All right, say goodbye. Bye. Say goodbye. All right, there you go.

Whatever that was. What was that? All right, so go there right now. See you later. All right, let me put that and share on story. Okay, check it out. We're going to call Dr. Steve right now. So you have any questions? All right. This is the smartest guy. Listen. No, no, no,

you can ask about that burning. Yeah, whatever you have on your Becca, you're going to. What? Is your nipple falling off? Which one? There's the third one. The third one. That's what we're worried about. We're calling Dr. Steve, now we call him on Skype, right? Yes, he says. Okay, we're calling him on Skype. You got him? That one is up right there, that's too far with me.

Dr. Steve, Marco. Don't give out his thing. Yeah, don't give out a Skype address. Don't give it, no, that's not him. We're live. Just go up and check, Mike. It's okay for you to get up. You have two fucking interns that could help you out.

I don't know why the host, and show. You're asking, don't talk over me. I'll talk over me. Listen, no, go ahead. I'm done, I'm done. No, you're right. Did you get it?

I'm gonna tell you right now. All Dr. Steve, right now, we have the technology, we have a brand new studio. All right, here it is right there. Do you got it? Can you see it? All right, cool. We are new studio. All right, here it is right there. Do you got it? Can you see it? All right, cool. We are calling Dr. Steve right now,

and this is, I mean, this is gonna be epic. This is gonna be, because I talked to him, I'm telling you. I talked to him the other day, and he really, how do you know Dr. Steve? I'm just been friends of them. I've been friends of them for so long. He's a DJ, he was at the wedding.

Yeah. But he's really smart. He was on OP&Ant and him for so long. He's a DJ, he was at the wedding. Yeah. But he's really smart. He was on OP and Anthony for a long time. He was there, the doctor that they called. And he just knows everything. He's one of the smartest guys I know. And he plays synth. He goes to synth convections

where other synth guys who make their own synthesizers, it makes me, he's the biggest. Now, you know, why do you try to make me not like him? He's like, nilts shit and stuff like that. That's how good he is, that you can actually set him up in a way that I would not like him. And still I like him. I did, let me give this to Mike,

because he's having a hard time, because he's writing not, oh Mike, you gotta, I mean, it's, what did you write? I think there's definitely a spell, there's definitely a spell letter. But it is spelling shit wrong. I mean, it's, what did you write? I think there's definitely a spell. There's definitely a spell. But it is spelling shit wrong. I mean, it's DR. Doctor.

I mean, it's a, when did Mike? I love you, buddy, but you got a mush. You got to spell his name right. I mean, please. Do you see it? There it is. There it is. No, the one underneath it.

There it is. The one underneath it. The one underneath it. Was that it? There you got it. I do it is. There it is. No, the one underneath it. There it is. The one underneath it. The one that you got it. Was that it? I did it again. Are you sure? Because it was two. There was two of them.

But that was the one. It was the same. All right, there we go. That's it. That's him. Right there. I click on it. Call him.

Now say hi. Call him. Hit the button. There we go. There we go. Go beating. Come on, hit the button. There we go. There we go. Go beat him. Come on, everybody. Don't give it to him.

Sing, bell, ring. Doctor Steve. Doctor Steve. Herrona. Ask some questions, and he will answer. What a time now. Doctor Steve. How's it him you're trying to be?

Oh God, what an idiot to come back to. God be talking to me. Get him, get him. They close the goddamn air. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks, don't you know. Steve doesn't him you're trying to Oh God what an aunt to come back to Africa getting me Oh they close the god damn air Tom Hanks Tom Hanks don't you know you not even even Skype is afraid of Corona Dr. Steve has Corona Even Dr. Steve has Corona yet Oh man come on let's do it again ready one more time everybody. We got it in us. Here we go. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve.

Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. Where are you? People are dying. Oh God. on God to be God to fuck Come on! Oh man people are dying! Tom Hanks is his God who's next, thenzo! Who's next? If he's with a patient, it better be someone more important than Tom Hanks, but you know what that can't happen because there's no one more important than Tom Hanks. Oh my God. Plus, I mean I'm gonna have to call him old school real quick.

I mean, what the hell? Call him and tell him pick up a Skype. That's all. That's what I'm doing. Okay, I'm sorry, I know it's your show. My knees, yeah, well, you know, we're calling, we're calling, Steve?

Yep. We're calling you on Skype, but nobody's picking up. Oh, I didn't, did it ring? Yeah, it was don't, don't, don't, don't. Yep, we're calling you on Skype, but nobody's picking up Yeah, I was don't don't do Doctor Steve Doctor, I'm the phone doctor Steve All right, I'm gonna give you to Mike Mike here take this phone I want the interns can grab it for you Mike stop getting up have one you have two guys just sitting Did you fucking use some authority?

You have two guys just sitting here. Could you fucking use some authority? Oh, fuck, man. Now use the help. You need help. You have fucking chubby mush. I'm sorry. It's because of the corona. Brooklyn's finest is just sitting there this whole time.

Brooklyn's finest, I know. We got two coffee dwellers sitting there. All right? All right, let's try it one more time. Can we try it one more time please? You got the name wrong? Is it? What's that?

All right, let's go. One more time. That many people look like him. One sky. Oh shit. Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve. How are you?

Hang up, let's call again. We just like the song, Dr. Steve. All right, Steve, all right, everybody please. I would like for you. Oh, all right. All right, what the fuck was that? All right, I told you, he's a synth guy. He has all kinds of stuff.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, he's a board certified doctor, but he's also a board certified nerd. Okay, he really is. I mean, do you like 1920s radio sound effects? Yeah, he's walking up the stairs. And now here's the crowd noise from raising bull. Okay, everybody listening.

Here we. I think he really is a fully god. That's what we call. I thought everybody listening. I want to introduce you guys, know my show, you know Dr. Steve, we are calling him right now. There is a crisis we've talked before, Dr. Steve. We had, I mean, the earliest week

and you kind of settled me down, but listen man, things are getting, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, the NBA is shut down. You can't, Europe is done. I mean it's We're gonna do without South by Southwest this year. I was that was a festival motherfucker for this network That was supposed to be big for this network So I don't you know we're gonna do it. We're gonna. I love his response oops Yeah, do you say that when you misread a fucking tumor?

Oops. Oops. Sorry about that one. That one's gonna, whoo. That's a widow maker what you got in your chest. Yeah, I thought it was a pimple. I thought it was a pimple, I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

It's cancer. Yeah, you're gonna forget your kids. That's my thumb print, I'm sorry. Listen, Dr. Steve, we got checknice in the studio. Hey, Dr. Steve. Brand new record, by the way, just in case people are dying and they want to laugh, what's your record called? Oh, yeah, man. It's called uncomfortably hot dad.

Thank you for that. That's why I'm here, right? I'm promoting something. Well, I mean, people are dying, but yes. Yeah, but people are dying. And guess what? And we're all dying for many reasons. Yes. I have an album coming out on March 17th.

It's called uncomfortably hot dad. And it's one of the first albums with the laugh button. With the laugh rec label. So this is we're very proud of it and we're excited because he's one of the funniest guys. I've worked them many a time. Yes we have. And in Aruba and he just murdered. So you know what I mean? Of course we have Jay McBride, one of my my good friends one of the funniest young comics to hit New York in the last couple years. And I love that because sometimes when you tell people about oh you got to say it doesn't and then when they see them

like I saw him not that good. Everybody I've told about her is like oh my god. So people I love when people come to me you got to check out Jamie Brad I think I kind of founder. I'm kind of the one the reason why she's here. So, I told you, by the way, yeah. That's what you're saying. Yeah, I told everybody about it, but she gives me no credit.

Anyways, Ha, ha, ha. Liz Winstead gets all the credit. I get out of it. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Me letting her out for me and fucking Albany. I get nothing, nothing. Any game in my bit, I was here, I was on your podcast.

I was like the first real credit sort of thing. The biggest credit I had for the longest time. Yeah, I had you on my podcast. You Bailey J in that Russian. Oh, she's a, is she still around? Yes, I don't know. That Russian, please tell me. There's a, never mind.

Don't tell me. Forget it. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. And you're like, I wasn't going to tell you. I know, I know a couple guys that can tell you about that young lady. She got new boobs because it's one of somebody I know But we've got new boobs, but I was here too. Yeah, I showed Robin. Yeah, yeah, yeah Anyways, Dr. Steve. I apologize

Would you I digress but listen? Oh, no, no, I'm just imagining going on stage and saying you know her from the Robert Kelly podcast Well, that was hurtful and I don't think in this time of Christ. That is no bedside manner, sir. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's not one thing. It does as su-chu as a doctor. A doctor, Oz would not say something like that. I know you're in hospice, but don't take it out of me. Oh, here we go.

Now, we have questions, Mike, from our fans on Patreon. We have questions here in the studio. I believe the two interns that showed up, one of them has the virus, because it's not that hot in here. And he's sweating. But I- DeKetchup from avocado toast. Jesus, she really hates hipsters.

Anyways, something got her rang by a hipster in Albany. Nice tits and dick loser. Nice guys, you don't know. Give him a shot. Look, you got to knock down there, self-esteem before you have a shot. Okay, that's what works. Tell your dad tell Jim. He lived by it. Okay, listen to me. Okay, let's get back to this. Can you please give everybody your credits, tell them that you're a legit doctor, please. How are you a legit doctor? Please.

Yeah, well, I'm a practicing physician, and someday I'll get it right. That's our, our glistening effect. Who sound the effects of these? Stop, listen to me. Chuck, shut up, shut up. Shut up.

I'm gonna tell you, I know you get a little whipped up. Because I know you know that. Chuck, shut up, shut up. Shut up. I'm gonna tell you, I know you get a little whipped up. Because I know you know that. I'm gonna try to shut it for a long time. I should have told you, don't just eat it. Not only is it darker. Sorry.

Not only is it the wrong button. I told you it was in the herd. Yeah. But he's also very funny. Okay. Not to know. Not at all. He is funny.

He's a funny guy. Okay. He's he's very comedic And especially at this time of night after a day at the hospital, right? I'm an asshole. That's really what it is. It's not really Humor. Yeah, he's a little and he's from the South. Oh, okay, so Let's be careful without a doubt Especially YouTube. Right. Well, I'm not big. We're not big in the cell.

I'm big in the South on the phone. Okay, listen, Dr. Steve, please tell people. Yeah, okay. No, I've been in practice for 35 years. I'm a editor in chief of a national medical journal and I've got the longest running uncensored medical show in broadcast history on serious xm on the fact in talk uh... channel and and on and on and on left button life uh... and on say that what he's saying is say that you're on a network to

see that you should say that oh yeah that right has been that i was not'm the one that just got you ads. Yeah, that one. That one. I mean, I don't know why I don't know what you're doing tonight. It's really starting to bug me. I'm on the verge of hanging up on you. Okay. Yeah, you should be a cock. I mean, what the fuck? By the way, I mean, what I mean, I took, they, what is they dumped you on serious? And I was like, you're the best show we got. That's all I tell people. I love you. This is why I love you're the best show we got. That's all I tell people I love you Can you be my friend tonight?

This people dying Tom Hanks as Corona. I know it's awful. Yeah, please now listen a week ago you told me not to worry It's gonna be fine. No, you said no, he just said it's gonna be fine. Why why seriously? Okay, so Yeah, let's talk a little bit about just the death rate of this virus. Bobby, how old are you? I'm, that's none of your business. I'm 35 and if I'm in LA, in New York, I'm 49. Okay, so 40 to 49 years old. Yeah. The death rate from this virus, which is the virus's name is SARS-CoV-2. The disease it calls is COVID-19. There's no talk over that. A lot of us are.

Everyone that's listening to this has had a dozen corona viruses, probably even more in their lifetime. Most of the time, it causes a very self-limited illness that we call the common cold. And there are three strains of corona that are problems. And one of them is the original SARS virus. The second one is the MERS virus. That's the Middle East respiratory syndrome. And then this one, this COVID night, or, you know, the SARS-CoV-2 that causes COVID-19, and they can cause serious illness. Now, most people won't get this virus, and most people who do will not die. So if you're in the 40 to 49-year-old age bracket, the odds that you're going to die from this is 0.4%, which means you have a 99.6% chance of not dying from this at your age. Now, okay, if I gave you those odds that you would win in Vegas, you would take every

penny you have and bet it on black. And I'd lose. So, okay. We never met about 0.4% chance of losing losing but that's it. Those are pretty good odds It'd be really funny it'd be very funny if you do die for that we can replay this Memorial she was right she's put down the tombstone like point four percent I have a question now okay because I took Max out of school Monday The choice that me and Dom will like listen the fact that he now kids

Kids can get it really are a bit max take max out of school. No, I know you don't end max Believe me. It was my wife didn't want to do it I'm because my wife likes her free time my wife didn't want to do it. Because my wife likes her free time. And she just got a period. So she wanted to be alone this week, at least for three hours. It's great.

I took him out because I just figured that. And that was a true that children, I mean, they're not gonna get it. They could get it and not show any symptoms, but they give it to people. Yes. They're the ones that give it, right? That's always true with these damn viruses,

the kids get it and they just spread everybody. But in this case, this is very unusual because when we see influenza, we see this thing called a bimodal curve where you've got a lot of cases of fatalities in the very young and in the very old. And in this one so far, we've had 126,000 cases, 4,633 deaths worldwide, and zero kids from who are under 10 have died from this. Okay, so the kids are no kids are dying from this under 10. No, kids under 10.

Now between 10 to 19, their odds are like 0.2%. So 99.8% of all kids between 10 and 19, you know, under 20 but above 10, you know, their odds are fantastically great as well. No, I have a, I have a I haven't a people that least deserve it That's a matter of opinion You have more than one kid. I know I have three. Okay, that's why that's why I say that If you have one kid you have one kid you like shut the fuck yeah, you really love that kid

Yeah, you love that kid a lot right somebody to carry my name on and take my bread. Okay. And take care of his mom. So, but the thing, the reason why I took him out, I was talking to Nome. Nome's woman wrote a great article, the owner of the comedy style. He wrote a really compelling article

and a artsy-uncensored Facebook page about that they're the ones that are actually, they're the ones who are, you know, they're not going to get it, but they're taking it and spreading it to the house. So whoever's home is going to get it. So if Max gets it, I'm getting it, Don's getting it, and possibly our neighbors. So it's better just to keep the kids home.

Your home school teacher. Right? Well, my home school teacher, unfortunately, is me, Max, or kid. Well, you're off for a good job. That's what I was like. Oh, you're gonna come over? Well, I'll start to sound pretty good.

But that is, that's called social distancing. When you, the reason is, because kids do not know how to practice. Right. Proper hygiene, proper hand hygiene, proper sanitization, they're not aware. And so if you keep them away from each other, they can't spread and they can't bring it home to you.

Well, because I don't want to, that's the thing, is I don't, if I get it, I'm fucked. If I can't fly, if I have to, I'm the breadwinner. And this is the case with a lot of people. A lot of people don't have the ability to, if they have to get quarantined and not go to work, they don't have the money to pay for somebody to watch the kid or to go to work.

I mean, they have to come home and take care of that. Absolutely, man. And I can't afford to not work. What are we gonna do? Stop, stop lying. Get a go fund me? Mike, get a go fund me right now. Bobby started the dude go fund me.

Start it. Start it right now. So Doc, can I ask this? What is the best thing? I mean, there's a lot of panic right now. There's a great deal of concern and it's all warranted. Okay, even the panic right now is warranted because we see a lot of action

coming from governments and so forth. What is the best thing personally that we can do to protect ourselves and more importantly to protect other people? Yeah. So a couple of things. Don't go out and buy all the effing toilet paper that the grocery store has. It's idiotic. Okay. I've been to the grocery store and the shelves that are completely bear of things like toilet. I mean, how much defecation do you think you're going to be doing? A lot

if I get sick and I have diarrhea. It sounds like a challenge. You don't get diarrhea from this, that's the thing. Thank you for telling us that. Can I tell you something now? This is the information, and I just wanna introduce Monroe Martin, just sat down on the podcast.

We're talking to Dr. Steve. He's telling us everything we need to know about coronavirus. Do you have any questions? Please, what's that? I have a question too, at some point. Well, okay, yeah, absolutely. I want to get everybody's questions, okay? But I just heard that there was one of the guys

who was a friend of mine, read that one of the symptoms, he got diarrhea and then got a fever and then got the cough and then the fever and then that's it. He had the flu. So you're saying that the diarrhea, no, he got corona. Oh, he did. So, so, a comic?

So, no. So I'm talking, can I ask the doctor this before you guys chime in with your question? Well, could you let the doctor answer my question first, please? Yeah. All right, well, you don't even know. I know, but I'm fucking standing up for time. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah. Why don't white comics do that? I have. Oh, my god. You're standing up for each other all the fucking time. I don't know why comics do that You're gonna reach out the all the fucking time. I don't watch a language. Oh, sorry now I'm front of the doctor No, I want it and we're trying to monetize this Oh my man trying to get this on Facebook so we can help some people Absolutely make a little scratch your potty mouth is gonna ruin it So I'm gonna poke asshole gonna ruin it. I'm gonna blow up your mouth.

I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth.

I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth.

I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. I'm gonna blow up your mouth. What else can we do personally? Yes. That we can protect ourselves and more importantly,

protect each other. Because I think that's important for people to realize is like if you take measures to protect yourself, you're also protecting your fellow person. Okay, right. Did you just answer your own question? No. Because that's very egotistical of you.

You know what? I mean, that was very noble of him because I wouldn't ask for anybody else. I just asked for me like, what do I need to do? I back off that mic a little bit. It's a little hot. I apologize. We didn't test you Mike. I'm sorry, we're in a row. All right, Dr. Steve. Okay. One thing I want to backtrack just a little bit. I just while you guys were dialogging, I looked at gastrointestinal symptoms, and now they're saying, and this just came out, that it could be a new focus for coronavirus diagnosis.

So your friend that said that they had GI symptoms, may have actually been related to corona. They said there's a first paper, just came out, describes how investigators from shanghai china sought to document the symptoms of this virus and fever and dry cough and shortness of breath or present in most cases um... there were uh... there was a subset of people that had gastrointestinal symptoms along with it

and uh... they don't know the percentage yet so it looks like it's pretty low because we seems like we would have heard about it before that. Do you have a ding sound? You can put like Bobby one point, Dr. Zero. Get the earth out the bill. How about that?

Okay, no, you have a question. Now you have a question? Well, let me finish that one. Because I told you what not to do, which is don't just go by silly things, but let me tell you what to do. So if you want to protect yourself, the way this thing is transmitted is if I'm standing in a room, a football-sized room, say, and I cough, I will eject droplets of mucus that have each one of those may have billions of copies of this virus in it. Gravity will pull those to the ground. So they don't linger in the air. This is not airborne

transmitted. This is droplet transmitted. So all around me will be this sort of moat or fence of infectious particles. Now the way someone gets it now is if they reach down and touch one of those with their finger and then stick their finger in their nose or their mouth or their eyes. So stop touching your face. I'm sure you've seen the viral video of that HHS person saying, don't touch your face

and then she licked her finger to turn the page. That was amazing. I hope she gets it. It was amazing and it just shows, you know, she was instructing us and she couldn't even do it. So it's really hard to do. So if you are not symptomatic, you don't want to wear a mask. Unless you're one of these people that can't stop touching their face. So that's one way that a mask can help someone that doesn't have the virus is to keep them from put sticking their fingers in their stupid mouths and nose.

So some hot check that can't stop putting lip gloss on. Maybe she should wear a mask with what she does her Instagram stories. However, you just made a very good point. I didn't even think of this. Like that means any mask will do. You could go get a, that's right.

You could go get a like a painter's mask. If. You could go get a, like a painter's mask. If you're a person who touches your face and you could actually be helping, not because not to spread it, but just thanks Bobby. Sorry, thanks a lot. Bobby. That's free, some of that, yeah.

There we go. But yeah, okay, that makes sense. I've never heard anybody say that before, but that's cool. That was just, yeah. Thank you. Yeah, so you're right, you could use anything. Anything that would, you could tie your hands down so that you couldn't reach your face.

That would be another way, but you would look silly. Now, if you are symptomatic to protect other people, you must self-isolate. And you're gonna have to, if you go to healthcare and, you know, to seek treatment, you've got to have, wear a mask and those kinds of things. Should you do your healthcare workers are having to, if they see you in the hospital room, they've got to do the full personal protective equipment, the N95 mask, eye protection, gown and gloves. Now should you call beforehand?

Yes. And now you think that you might have it and you're gonna go get tested, you got a call first because if you're gonna go to your primary care, they may go, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't come here. But then you gotta say, well, then where do you want me to go? And there will be a place in your community that's set up for testing,

and they'll probably send you there. And if you don't have a mask when you walk in, they will immediately put one on you. And that's just to keep those droplets from just spraying everywhere. Right, giving, okay, what do you got there of? Well, actually, I was gonna ask how it's transmitted, but just to answer that, but also, is there still a shortage of tests for this?

There, here's the thing. So, you got to define shortage. So, if we wanted to test everyone in the United States right now, we don't have enough tests to do that, because it's hard to come up. So, the first thing you have to do is identify the protein on the surface that we can then detect. To do that, you've got to have samples. So you've got to have the samples, you've got to break them down. There's a lot of shit that goes in to make the first test. Then you've got to test it, make sure it works.

Now you've got to scale the thing up to 350 million units. That means 350 million boxes, 350 million, you know, the little plastic sheets that you put around it, you know, 350 million little bags. Yeah, they're not going to happen. No, it's not going to happen. So that we're not going to do. So right now we have enough testing to test people who are at risk, healthcare workers, people who have come in contact with people that are known cases, and people that show symptoms that are typical, which would be fever, cough, shortness of breath, and maybe diarrhea now.

All right, so I'm a hyperchondriac. I think I should be tested. I'm freaked the hell out. Tell me why should I get tested? Who am I? You shouldn't. But who am I? You shouldn't.

If you don't have the fever, if you don't have the cough, and if you don't have diarrhea, you should just stop it because you're clogging up the system. And let's just really have it. And let's just go ahead. If you're asymptomatic, but you got exposed to a known case, they will test you, because that's the perfect person to catch, because there are people are transmitting this virus when they don't have symptoms, they're still going about their daily routine.

Now they, no, no, no, no, no, Monroe, do you have a question? No, okay, good. So, I hope you can talk a little bit about what a thing called pre-test probability. So, if you have a very low pre-test probability. So if you have a very low pre-test probability of having a disease, let's just say heart disease and you're going to do a treadmill. That's a classic example. If you don't have chest pain, if you're 22, you don't have high cholesterol,

you don't have high blood pressure, the odds that you have coronary artery disease are very low, but if I put you on the treadmill, every once in a while you'll get somebody have a positive test. So the number of false positive tests will outweigh the number of true positive tests. Now, with these coronavirus tests, there shouldn't be that many false positive tests,

but there will be some. And so you want to test people that have at least a moderate pre-test probability before you throw them into the system. And that also saves you from just, you know, throwing tests away, doing them unnecessarily. So you have a question? Yeah, because according to the shade room,

which is on Instagram, they say black people can't get it. I know that isn't true. Oh, Jesus Christ. Come on. Why are you getting? Man. First of all, I said according to the shade room because wouldn't it be dope? First of all, what if all white people like the Source? If you're going to die, it's called the shade room. I know. But let you know whatever comes out of there is just ridiculous to begin with but come on doc. No Seriously, what if it goes it's actually true and No, no, no, I'm not gonna be happy because here's why it's not actually true And the second reason why I know it can't be true is because black people are predisposed to have more problems with health

Than any other people with respect to every freaking health problem there is. Come on, Doc. Am I right, Dr. Dr. Dr. Am I right? This is the loudest podcast I've ever done.

I am so sorry. No, it's okay. I have white neighbors so I know how you feel. Okay. I have white neighbors. I know how to do it. I just want to let you guys know, these mics do work both of you. I just heard of God. Turn your head phone up. do work both of you. I can't hear a god

Turn your head phone up. You must got this it on that turn your head phone up. I follow the cord. There's a hole This it online however I like the guitar My role brings up a very good point. I'm saying the shape room. I don't believe it any answer the question though I don't know how do I give the coronavirus to black people Any answer the question though. And a follow up question. How do I give the coronavirus to black people? Ha ha ha. I think it's through the end.

Okay. You just won the day, Jay. You just won the day. I'm sorry, that's it. Hey, Dr. Steve, is that, Dr. Steve, let me just say white power. Anyway, is that true? Is that true?

Don't say I want this to be monetized. No, you want to say that. That would have been out. White I want this to be monetized. No, you want this to be monetized. No, that would have helped. White power would definitely get a monetized. That's the only thing. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad.

Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad.

Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially when you're not too bad. Especially every settle down settle down settle down chuck your all whipped up settle down. So sorry. I told everybody don't I get you know me for a while. You know how I love you and you can do that. You can be you be you. I'm sorry I was a pandemic. I get it. I'm sorry. Now that's not true that black people don't get it right? No, there's An apathy continent right now now there's about a hundred cases.

So we'll see you over time. There was a very suspicious cause. Oh my, before you know, I just wanted to make sure that it was my turn. That's all right. No, it's very confusing, guys. So we got to be careful. It's very clear coronavirus doesn't discriminate against its victims based on race and what we really don't want to do is have this narrative that you know

Black folks can't get it so that so that they don't seek Health care, you know if they do get it. So it's a that's a very I think a dangerous narrative I'm excited was Marrow though and I thought all? Would that be a great movie with all the white people died from this? It was just black people here. And there was this two white people, me and Jim Norton. Yeah. Why are you two?

Why not? I wrote the movie, I mean. Okay. That's fine, dude. I can't be in my own movie. He's a shit. Seriously, serious question. What's the incubation period between the time where you may contract it,

where's the time when you start showing symptoms? And are you like communicable when you first get it, even though you aren't showing symptoms, or do you have to show symptoms in order to get it? Great question. We're just starting to learn this. Because it's very important. It's like, what is the rate of asymptomatic transmission of this disease? Because for example, when we eradicated smallpox,

it was very easy to do because there were no asymptomatic carriers. If someone had smallpox, they were shedding the virus. You go, vaccinate everyone around them. And then it was like putting a mode around this virus that couldn't spread to anybody else. And so we eradicated. There hadn't been a small box case in decades now. This one appears to have asymptomatic transmission. So, you know, the median is somewhere around five days. It can be five to 11 days from the time

that you contract until the time, the time that you're exposed to it till the time that you have symptoms. And you can have the symptoms for anywhere from another five to 14 days, maybe even 21 days. So, and how long are we shedding virus? Still don't know, 100% yet. And they're thinking at least three weeks.

So people who are exposed to the virus, but are not showing symptoms should probably be quarantined for 14 days. And people who have had it should probably be quarantined for anywhere from 14 to 21 days after they recover. So we'll see on that. Those numbers are still coming.

We'll have the very same. I have a question from Aaron. How, how, how Lee is that it? He wants to know, what do healthcare staff and doctors think about how they're being treated during this outbreak? Hmm. Well, I mean, they're dumping a lot of information in our labs on how to protect ourselves because, you know, here's the thing, if we get sick, then that's one less person that's

out there trying to do something about this. So if, and this seems unfair, but if a vaccine comes out, they'll hit the elderly and they'll hit healthcare workers before they hit anybody else. I would just assume get it and get it over with so that I can get into the trenches after I recover. You know, here's my second question. Can you get it twice? It's a very good question.

Unknown, unknown. There are some people that think that this thing is mutate. If it mutates, you can get it again. Yes. It's like norwalk virus. Norwalk virus is the puke and shit virus that you know, derails, cruise ships and other things. And you can get it more than once in influenza. You can get more than once. I mean, it's weird. We get a flu shot every year because it mutates, right? We get a flu shot every year because it mutates, right? So, once we have a vaccine for influenza that targets the immutable part of the influenza virus, then we will have a universal flu vaccine.

We can eradicate that crap forever. Let me ask you this, and I don't want to get too walky,ud with respect to, you know, jeans and your, your genetics, which kind of goes back to the shade room. Yes. Kind of. But I want to approach the shade room from a scientific standpoint, which is, is there a, is there, are there genetic variations that we have been able to determine cause someone to be more or less susceptible? Yes, there are risk factors. What are you just saying?

Some of those. He understood me. I heard it's acceptable. I don't know. I don't find any good questions. There are some's acceptable. I don't know. Yeah, good question. Genetics that would make you more susceptible. And right now, we don't have a real good line on that. But what we do is some other risk factors,

one of the biggest risk factors for dying from this disease is to have cardiovascular disease. So if you've had heart attacks, you've got stents, you're having angina, right, you know, at the time when you present their death rate is up to 10.5%. People with diabetes, chronic respiratory disease, high blood pressure, it's kind of hurdles my blood because I can't find anywhere, I have high blood pressure, but it's treated. I mean, my blood pressure is 110 over 70 this morning. So does that mean I'm an increased risk

risk risk with the treatment? With untreated. I'm going die. Okay. I have another serious question. I have another serious question. Aaron, Aaron J. Morris asked, and this, I have another friend of mine,

Mike Calta, who everybody knows. If, traveling, Aaron's going to Mexico, my friend's going on a cruise, as long as they're safe, and they wash their hands, and try not to touch their face. Are they dumb for doing these things? Should you cancel your vacations and your flights

if you don't have to go for work or whatever, and just say, I'm out and just stay home during this. Good question. It's an awesome question. I gotta be honest with you. I got awesome questions myself. You got good question. I got awesome questions.

I win so far. I got two great questions. Two great questions. I got a great question and an awesome question. That's like three great questions. I got myself a BL. question that's like three great questions if there's a bad question you play like a slide whistle I just I've got this right by saw that was my Saturday first show at Mohican Sun I'm struggling with my family myself because we're flying into Tampa this Saturday.

And my concern isn't so much getting there and being on the airplane and all that stuff. It's once we get there, if all of a sudden they restrict travel, it's how the hell are we're going to get home. And so this stuff can happen. I mean, I just heard that the president just now closed our borders to travel from uh... you're not right that that that that that that that that's pretty something coming up here

now he just he just closed the borders to your for thirty days you cannot uh... go in and out to your for thirty days the mba is done for the season did done no more games and tom hanks and and reed will mean, God. I mean, I mean, Forrest Gump has this. This is you know, and I'm joking around a side every it's weird. It does get a little more real Yeah, because famous people seem to always they're In the name of it from everything. They're never in a they're never in a major plane crash Right, right, right. They're never gonna say that if you're on a a major plane crash. Right, right. They're never in a major plane crash.

They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash.

They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash.

They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. They're never in a major plane crash. down like this. But now that Tom hangs, it's like, this is some real, this is real. So I mean, I mean, you're going to Tampa this week and that's pretty crazy. So no, is it, are you saying, it's all these?

Answer the question. You didn't ask one, you just tell me. He was telling us about the thing. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just saying I'm struggling with it as well. And, you know, it may not be up to us. At some point, they may just shut it as well. And it may not be up to us. At some point, they may just shut it all down.

And that's not a bad response. Think about this. In 1918, when the influenza pandemic hit, there was a parade. In Philadelphia, they said, well, we're by God having this parade anyway. And it led to a huge explosion of influenza cases. And that particular influenza killed people preferentially 20, 30 and 40. And so older people are actually protected from that virus.

But you know, they, and so when you look at the cases in Philadelphia, they spiked right after that parade. Whereas if you looked at other towns that restricted travel, and they barely knew what a virus was in 1918, you see a much more even sort of slow advance of the disease, which is good for everybody. We need to buy time for this and let it burn itself out. And even then the swine flu, or the flu pandemic of 1918, the worst pandemic known to man, killed 1% of the world's population.

Which doesn't seem, well, that means 99% of people didn't die, right? But it was 500 million people or something, some ridiculous number. Like, well, it was 5 billion, it was 50 million. What, shit, hang on a second. Now I can't do the math in my head. Elect, what's the cost?

What's the cost? What's the 1% of 5 billion? A lot. It's 50 million. It's 50 million. Okay, so 50 million people died that year. So it's an insane number, and that's just the magic of giant numbers, because it's hard for us to imagine a billion, much less, seven and a half billion.

Well, that one too, didn't the 1918 pandemic disappear for a little while in April and then come back into the fall and was worse or something like that? Yeah, if that's true, I don't remember that part of it. The numbers that though were quite insane. Think of it this way, 90% of people never got the virus. The vast majority of people never got the influenza that year. It was only affected 10% of the population, but 10% of those people died.

This is likely to be similar in the sense that most people won't get it and the vast majority of people who get it won't die. There will still be tragedy and the numbers are going to be staggering. But as a percentage, there'll be various. Now, they have it Westchester and Neuro Show. A hundred people have it from one guy. The National Guard is there. They quarantine a certain mile radius. And now, does that, I mean, people who tell me like, you're gonna get it. You're gonna get it. You're just gonna get it, so prepare to get it.

And you might get it, not have, I'll get a fever, you might, but you're probably not gonna die because you're age or whatever, but we're gonna get it. Is that, is, are we, because we're new to it? Well, how many people live in New Russia? There's a hundred people that have it, and they're already, you know, taking measures to limit it. So, you know, China has a billion people. The worldwide, there's still only 126,000 cases. Now, we're still very early into this.

But, you know, it's, if it's anything like the influenza pandemic, again, most people actually won't get it. And to the question about genetics, probably is some genetic factors in that. It's unlikely that any one virus will kill all of us, no matter how virulent it is, there will be some people that through some genetic factor are resistant to it. Right. Um, I, what do you love about that? But we don't know who those people are ahead of time. We'll only know after.

What's that? I was looking at Chuck and I was not in like, oh yeah, I told you. I told you. The same room was right. Yeah. Well, maybe. Now, I've read got the first death in Africa

from this virus was actually a German citizen. So it may be right, we'll see. Now, don't dance. Oh my God, it's so racist. It's like reverse racism right here on the YKWD. So let me ask this question though. I want to know, I mean, everybody's saying that some lady had batsuit and that's what happened.

I mean, and there's a video of some lady and how batsuit and it was, and then other people, like I heard on Rogan, maybe this was engineered. Maybe this is something that was put out there. I heard someone on the CDC actually talk about that. Some of them, they were saying like they found a a butcher that someone who butchered bats in Wuhan Actually, like came in contact that 90% sure think that's what happened. So is that what do you do know anything? Now nobody does

Here's the thing they first thought it came from a snake then it was suspicious that there's a virology lab in Wuhan then it was suspicious that there's a virology lab in Wuhan. The only way that you would know if this was a manufactured virus is if you if you sequenced the DNA and you find a serial number in it or somebody put their initials in it. You know it's that they have completely sequenced this thing. There doesn't seem to be anything artificial. It looks like it just is a standard coronavirus. If this is manufactured, well then it's merged, manufactured, it's SARS, manufactured. I mean, we've got these two other viruses. We don't feel like they were manufactured. It's most likely this is zoonotic. Coronavirus are zoonotic, which means that we get them through transmission from infected animals. And it could have been a snake, it could have

been a bat, who knows. I mean, who hasn't enjoyed a nice bat soup from time to time? I don't think we can blame it on her. But this is something that did jump species, is what you're saying. Yes, the coronaviruses are known to do that. Wow. So basically, what is the best case scenario and then give me the worst case scenario? Okay. Well. Is that another good question?

That was a very good question. No, let him say it. It doesn't count for me. It doesn't count for me. I'm sorry. Was that a good question or an awesome question? It's a very good question. Come on, very good.

That's one good, one very good in an awesome, I'm blowing you away. Go ahead. Oh, God, I feel so good, because I know I'm not smart enough to be him, but I can sure I'll be a good audience member. I mean, I should have been an Oprah, I mean, somebody. God, I'm good at just being a question-assure.

Go ahead. Absolutely. Now, I have to make up for shitting on your podcast at the a question asker. Go ahead. Absolutely. Now I have to make up for shitting on your podcast at the beginning of the episode. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'll take that.

Well, I know I feel bad. Now I forgot what you asked me. Oh, a worst case scenario. A worst case scenario, 100% of people get it. That's the worst case scenario. OK, can I have the second worst case? No, OK, well, let's talk about what that means. If 100% of people on the earth

get it. And the average death rate is say 3%. So let's just, let's run the numbers. I got to have, I got to ask echo again. Echo, what by a factor of ten two hundred and ten million so uh... it so that that would be the death toll if the uh... you know if everybody on earth got it but those would be the weak people any right but but but it was a deserve it however that that that would save social security uh... ha ha ha ha ha ha mean, at least for me. However, that's kind of that's kind of skewed because the fact is that children are very unlikely to die of this. So of the eight billion people on earth, however many of those are children, it's very unlikely that any of those, unless those who have pulmonary problems, they would,

they would not die. So 100% correct, but we're factoring that in because remember, people with diabetes have a 7.3% chance people with cardiovascular disease, 10.5, and so, you know, kids have a zero percent so you average it all together, you get about a 3% average. Okay, so 100% is... So that's the worst case.

Okay, what's the best case? The best case scenario is, like, you know, 10% of the worst case. Okay, what's the best case scenario? Like, you know, 10% of the population gets it, and so 90% doesn't get it, and 10% does, and of those 3%, you know, succumb to the disease, unless we can get, well, really, the absolute best case scenario is that we get a vaccine in the next couple of months and we just vaccinate the crap out of communities around cases and we just stop this thing and

it's in its tracks. And they are doing a clinical trial on a drug called Remdesivir. And it's in phase three clinical trial right now. Phase three means thousands of people. So they're throwing an antiviral? It's deceit. Yeah, it's an antiviral. It's a broad spectrum antiviral

that they've used. They've had some success in murs and SARS, but there were so few cases. It's hard to tell. We talked on my show today. If you have a 3% mortality rate, then how many people do you have to test before you can tell if this thing is preventing people from dying? Because 97% of the people you give it to are going to get better anyway.

Now, you just have to test Jenny McCarthy, and if it works on her, we're all going to get it. So, they're actually have something right now that they're testing that could be a vaccine. Well, right. OK, so the first thing that they did, and they did this several weeks ago, was to sequence the spike proteins.

Have you ever seen a picture of a coronavirus? Google electron microscope coronavirus. It's got these little spikes on the outside. That's very pretty. That's what it attaches to your cell. And then the membrane's merged, and then it splooges its viral RNA or DNA or, you know, in any way, it's genetic material into your cell. And then it takes over and starts making copies of itself.

So the spike protein would be a great target for a vaccine because if you can block that with your own antibodies, then it can't attach to the cell. So they synthesize that pretty quickly. That's actually a vaccine right there when you got it, but it's one dose. And now you got to test it, see if it actually works. Does it generate immunity to people make antibodies that are then protective? So now you've got to do a study. So you've got to have a population of people and you've got to see if their rate of getting

the illness is less than other people who are similarly exposed, all that stuff. So it all takes time. It takes time. Now, here's the problem that I have is that religion, the certain religious groups, and certain other groups are against vaccination. So, Hulves, what is it? Let me tell you something. All the people that say, why aren't getting a flu vaccine? I ain't never had a flu. Of course, we had 30,000 people in this country. That's a people in the country judge this year and nobody's back i'm sorry stepped on that what you say

now i'm just saying that thirty thousand people in this country have died already from influenza nobody gives a shit about that now those same people that are saying that stupid shit about the flu vaccine right are going to will be the first in line to get a corona vaccine be a bit But those people are, I mean, are we going to start taking the flu and vaccines and making people, even if you're religious, getting this stuff? Because I mean, Jesus, will we have the measles of back now, right? Yeah, well, I'm not sure what scripture refers to vaccines anywhere. So I'm not sure where this it refers to, you know, vaccines anywhere. So I'm I'm not sure where this is coming from from a religious standpoint.

Well, I said excuse do not get vaccines. Well, but New York was right trying to pass a lot to someone was saying religious liberty. They like some religions have the right to exempt them kids from vaccines. So it's one of the exceptions. I mean they asked for right. I mean, why? I mean, whatever, but I'm not saying it's cool, but, you know. I mean, I don't want to get it. I mean, you can do whatever you want. We're religion, I don't care. But if you're affecting everybody else because of that, isn't that, that's dangerous. They may, look, if you have a community of people

that say that and cite religious, then a religious preference, then they have to, if they're posing a risk to society, I think society has the right to isolate them from society. They don't have to get it, but they can't be part of society. You can't go to the public school if you're at risk for, uh, bringing coronavirus in there. For example, if we had an affected vaccine, everybody else was vaccinated.

Right. May I ask an unrelated question? Of course. Do you do radio? Your voice is very soothing. He told you he has a radio show. I'm the lap. That's how he has a radio show.

Thank you. He has a... Tell me your podcast is, one of my favorite podcasts, it's hilarious, but it's uncensored doctors. I mean, they talk like we talk really about everything. really about everything. And what's the name of the podcast? Tell everybody doctor Steve. Yeah, well, we have a show on serious exam called weird medicine and then I have a podcast called similarly weird medicine the podcast and Yeah, it's the we were the first

uncensored Medical show ever on broadcast radio. That's sort of our thing Yeah, and we still are. You know, they're doctor radio, they censor themselves, they're afraid to say certain things. And I like doing it this uncensored because we can get people who wouldn't listen to a medical show otherwise. So we actually give out good information and promote critical thinking and science, but it's guys in you know Dick questions and nuts and and you know poop jokes I've sent them pictures. He has a picture of my penis. Oh, so everyone I got it every time

I got I got the flu once and he goes send me a picture of your dad I need to see if there's a penis flu At some point it should have to sell Norton to stop sending dick pics? All right, I have a knock. I mean, so, okay, here we are. I mean, it's right outside, somebody outside this room, or maybe in this room.

Maybe in this room. I mean, we're doing comedy shows. We're just grabbing the black people. I know who it isn't. We're grabbing the, I hope you get it. I do. I do. And then we're grabbing the mic every night.

We're in these rooms with all these people. I mean, what you, I like that mic off. What? Wipe the mic off. Wipe the mic off. I'm actually thinking of bringing my own mic with a cover. Is that, that's not a bad idea, bro.

Is that a smart thing? It's okay to do as long as then what are you going to get the other mic off. So if you're going to take the other mic off and put yours on so that you can touch your lips to it, that's fine. But then you've got to still wash your hands after you've touched the, the coronavirus mic. Jesus. You know, you just have to be thinking of these things all the time.

You know, if I contaminated my hands and if i have and i got to stick my stupid hands in my face somewhere i so that that leads us to a good question what bob just said about the mic another good one i mean i'm your just killing it all right how long is

does this virus live on surfaces you talk about the microphone how long is the best question of the night what what and i'll tell you how to talk and wow perseverance you know what what just figuring it out you know i don't know why you asked you on the show you've been against me the whole time alright he doesn't like you

it's fine though but it's not that many of us in the room we stop bonding you like fucking women comics Just give a Johnny you're gonna go against me. Go ahead Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, how long is this little? He's wider than me. Go ahead That transmission is called fomite transmission when you Haka logi onto a table or more likely onto your hand and then you grab the bathroom door handle and then you go in and you leave behind Mucous with trillions of viral particles on them and then someone else comes along and touches that and then You know doesn't wash their hands because they're disgusting pig, and then they stick their hand in their face,

and then they get it. So that's called fomite transmission, and originally they thought that it was pro, it wouldn't be more than a day or two, and that's long for a virus. But now they're saying that under the right conditions, the stuff could last up to nine days on this days. So I mean, we're getting it. I had so many doorknob today, but soap and water kills it.

What about Perrell? It's so fragile. What about Perrell? Yeah, Perrell is probably fine. I mean, you know, soap and water is always better, but that's hard to do when you're in the car and you're handling money at the toll booth and stuff like that. Perrell is a good substitute. hard to do when you're in the car and you're handling money at the toll booth and stuff like that. Purell's a good substitute.

Toad with what is it? 1985. Yeah. If you have if you got to go to the toll booth, you'd be delighted. Yeah. If you didn't get easy past, you should die. You should be dead. You wrote clogging fucking coronavirus fish bag.

If you're on the way to the Cobbler. For the reason we're stuck at the way to the cobbler. If you're heading to the Habadassir, it's for the if you're using a token on the subway, those are filled with just germs. All right, well, I mean, Dr. Steve, I know you're gonna you worked all day. Thank you so much for staying up with us, answering our questions. If you got to go listen to his podcast, we're in medicine. It's on the laugh button podcast network. It's, he just did an episode on this with all his friends.

So go listen to him, call into his show. It's one of my favorite shows that we have on the network. And he's one of the smartest guys and one of the funniest guys and just a damn good nice guy. So Dr. Steve, thank you so much. Do you see how I did that with you and like what you did with my podcast? That's okay.

Don't worry about it. And I believe the greatest question doesn't, I still win because I have two good questions, a great question and an awesome question. I think I, however, I had the best question of the night Bobby well are you one okay you want I mean I don't know why he did that but right at the end you come in and win all right but all right Steve I love you thanks so much buddy all right man you two man okay bye yeah that was good just calling back one more time yeah just calling call man real quick I just go ahead just call them call them out real quick. I just go ahead and just call them on you. Oh, yeah, I just want to see

All right Dr. Steve Dr. Steve We're out to pick up man. Sorry. We just wanted to get the song down. Okay. I won't pick up. I see it. I'm gonna Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. I love that song. Oh Skype rocks it with that little song. That is a very cool little song. You can do any song with that. That's awesome.

All right, so we're back live. That was, I mean, that was great. He's great. He's great. He's great. I mean, all the people on Patreon, because you gave me, because you remember my Patreon, you're going to live. You have a chance.

All the people watching this, all these people watching it on Sunday for free, you're probably dead. And you could have this, all these people watching it on Sunday for free, you're probably dead. And you could have lived. You should have gotten the vaccine from Patreon. You could have lived, but you're dead now, because you got it. And now you could have,

you're passing this from the afterlife. Yeah, you could have lived. You're a cheap piece of shit. So there you go. So join Patreon, maybe next pandemic you'll live, because I have a direct line to Dr. Steve. And I really don't like you. I mean, Jesus Monroe. I love you, Dolman. I love you too, buddy. You're not scared about getting this. No, Jesus. We live in New York

because you're black, though Monroe. No, just because you live in New York, you're going to get infected by something. And I said earlier, I'm like, you know how many comics got fucking herpes that be sharing joints and shit? Maybe I have to tell you that I'm like, I'm gonna get such herpes from sharing a joint. Just want to let you know.

You can't herpes and flex to suck a dick afterwards. No, my cold sore is herpes and flex. Oh, well, why would you smoke a joint after somebody who you visibly can see? It does, but that's not how that works. You can have them, you can shed the disease without having an outbreak. Yeah, you stuck up for one more.

Yeah, that's why I'm fighting out. 92% of the American population have herpes. You're absolutely correct, Camel. Exactly. If people be out there just smoking it up. And Bobby, I don't. Although, the chicken pox is a type of herpes, so that's part of why that is the most correct.

Yeah, so I'm like, I'm gonna get something from somebody. But this is, can I say, you're on? You're on? I don't know, I grew. I just wanna say something though. What up? I understand your logic, it's dumb, but that's okay. I get it, but you know.

I have good health I lit a jet just went to the doctor like two months ago. I have a good heart I got good lungs. You're like like Three oh my fine. I'm like who's gonna die my Nana? Yeah, but two months before the case in Wuhan happened He just said who's gonna die my Nana. It's about time. I'm in waiting for that house. I love this I love you Monroe. I love you. I'll be a wait for that house. I love this guy. I love you, Monroe.

That was funny. I listen, I don't want you to die, Monroe. I'm not. I don't want you to, but I think that, I think because not only can you give it to a bunch of people. Yeah. If you're not careful, you're not, because you're around comedy shows, you're around comedy,

you're, that's the thing we have to worry about. We have to consider spreading this. But you did spreading, you did fucking all over the microphone. That's my microphone. That's my microphone. Let me ask you, other people, do this to studio. This is why you're dumb, because you just assume shit. No, this is why you're dumb.

You take it with you. This is why you're dumb. We just bought this. I have two of them, and they're only mine. They're only used by me and as soon as I'm done, we spray them. When I did a show last night, I had a mic cover, one of these black ones that I put on the mic so that I am not spreading anything to anybody else. I washed my hands with Paral before I woke up. I washed the microphone. So you're telling me, let's just go, let's just,

because everybody's thinking, where are the ones at risk? Because they don't change the actual numbers. What I'm saying is that you should have a cut, like we should have a cover, our tool, our only tool is no matter how hard you don't put that, you're gonna get that on your mouth, okay? You should at least try to protect yourself.

And if you have it, protect the other jackass that's going on here. I like how he's talking to me like I have it. Like, I think you do have it. I don't. You look like you have it. I think you got it and you're just trying to divert the attention.

I know you do. You live near New Rochelle. New Rochelle. You live on the fucking sticks. Yeah. You'll have it before any of us. Here's what's funny about that is that you would think that it would be in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Subway, and it's in New Rochelle. I mean, where it deserves to be. Oh, you don't like white people do you? I'm fucking much. You don't like white people. I love white people. No, you don't. I don't want you to get that sound. He doesn't like white don't I don't want you to get that sound

But he doesn't like I don't want you to get that sound, but I love white people. He doesn't like white people He wants white first of all he came in I know that's not it's a white person these thank God winking going back and forth if I did any that shit I'd be fucking out of the business by the way this is right if I get any of it. Yeah Yeah, I'm about sick of sale where you like I was okay If I get any of it, yeah, I'd be out of it about sick of sale. Where you like? Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! No, I like y'all. No, you're fine. No, see the way he said, y'all, I don't give a shit about you. He wants us dead. He wants us dead. That's why it doesn't keep. He'll take this and spread it. I guarantee he's going to get it, eventually, and then do all the open mics in Brooklyn, and try to kill all the up and come and beard and white guys and little chubby white chicks coming up. I'd be all right, but that's not fair.

He's going to get on the stand. He's going to come over to the cellar. Just, just give me one spot, please. I'd be alright, but I'd be totally cool with that. He's gonna get on the stand. He's gonna come over to the seller Just you just give me one spot, please and just take out a tell when me Knorten I said Keith see you even pause that keep Yeah, we want all we want all my kids to take a break I mean Jesus Christ. I got to tell you something. Yeah, you just give me a great idea What which is bringing your own mic cover. I'm doing that starting this weekend.

I'm doing that starting this weekend. I'm serious. I have my own. I actually worked at the casino this weekend. I was terrified. I brought my kid. I brought my, and I know that my kid and my wife and we're not, if we get it,

we're probably, the odds are in our favor. I don't wanna get it. Yeah, you don't wanna get it. I just don't wanna get it because I'm lazy and I don't want to get it. Yeah, you don't want to get it. I just don't want to get it because I'm lazy and I don't want to get it and give it to somebody. Well, plus, I mean, having the flu sucks, and this sounds just as bad or worse since people thought, I didn't like you got it.

And you have to be suck. And it's three weeks. But you have to be quarantined. I mean, the flu, you kind of quarantine yourself anyways, but this, you have a fucking, like a scarlet letter. A scarlet letter on your chest, man. Especially if you're a comic,

who the fuck's gonna go to your show? No, if you're gonna be like, you'll, sorry. If you have a coronavirus, you're still going to show as your nasi. I forget my show. If you have the coronavirus and you're still performing shows,

you're an asshole. But you know this comics that are gonna get sick, and look at one thing I hate about comedians, I fucking hate it. If you're sick, stay the fuck home. There's no comedian who's ever gonna do that. And they all go, I'm good now. Yeah.

I'm sorry, can you show me your degree on your wall? Yeah, I'm not contagious. Well, I'm not sick. It's the first thing they say. And then they hack up a lung and then they say, no, but this is the last stage I'm gonna because they need that 25 bucks or whatever the fuck spot it is Or they don't want to lose their little

Whatever they are in the the fucking comedy world, you know because they finally got Patrick finally game of fucking 1290 Fucking 45 spot at the stand following fucking stoverros, you know, and it's like dude you just took out Five headliners who make the living row. I make my this is my job. This isn't a fucking. I don't do this as a side thing I I have to go to fucking Cleveland this weekend pay my mortgage and you took me out, you fucking 15-minute hackaroo. Stay home. And I am a, I make them even here at the seller before this shit. I told you I was downstairs one night,

doing a fucking show when they used to have the Schwama wheel downstairs, remember? Back in the day, before you guys came here, down in the front window where this chair's now, was the kitchen. That's right. And they had a big, shwama, like mums. But I think it was better than mums.

Okay. I was such a fat fuck I'd come in, I knew the shwama guy, and he'd cut me me off and put it on a napkin. I'd go outside and go all the way and just eat me. Just a little fat bob Kelly, he had no money. I was just getting cello spots. It was keto, before keto was cool. Oh god, a little fat bob Kelly had no money. I was just getting cello spots. It was keto before keto was cool. Got a little fatso with a nap.

A greasy nap. A greasy nap. But I remember one night I'm doing a show downstairs and I did, I get on stage and I'm doing, you know, I was really on the jet of real. I used to sweat every night and I went, like that to the mic, wow! And I sucked in a piece of meat out of the microphone

and I went, and I went, and I spitted out and it flew through the air and landed in the ladies eye. Okay? Now add corona to that. I mean, what the fuck? I mean, I'm sorry, but stay the fuck home. You should we should all have these, these little, these little mic covers right here. You should go to B and H, get one, put it on your microphone. We should all have these little mic covers right here. I'll protect it.

Go to B&H, get one, put it on your microphone, and you should wipe the mic handle off. Because we hold it, and that's where it is, too. Nine days at last. That's crazy. We're getting it. He's up to three weeks, up to three weeks, he says. Listen, dude, comics are gonna be, we're susceptible. That's why I told Mike, I told Mike,

come up here, you spray everything I touch and we got two new mic covers. By the way, he changed that cover he's talking to right now, right before the show. So I'm the other cover. There it is, there's the other. You gonna get it though, Bob? No, I'm gonna try not.

Cause you're white. You'll get it before me because you're getting it because you're white Because oh, he'll be going to get it you travel a lot more. You're gonna get it before me because you you have to take the train I try you're a Yeah, I'll be whipping no, you're getting it because you share joints with people I don't know so it's just saying that's why but that's why I see how like how That's why that's why I see how like I'm a little bit share so much that's why I'm like all y'all just go and give something to each other anyway Yeah comics down there smoking weed they share drinks all this shit is nasty question. What's up?

I know it's okay You're talking like you're fucking about to drop an album like yo What's up check this out give me a beat give me a beat I'm in row when I ain't gonna get it. I tell you that's why I tell you to forget it My name is motherfucker. I'm on the mic. I'm tall as a fucking mic. And I oh shit. This is going south I know it is I'll keep rap it. He started and that's why I throw an virus only hits white people. Yes, that was bad Listen man, yeah, man you you don't smoke you don't do weed right no I stopped I did and I stopped you don't drink liquor You don't know I love this guy. Well, I'll tell you man all that stuff. I did and I stopped and I was just like I didn't like the

I didn't like the environment of places you In that's it. That's the reason I stopped Because you're most people who drink and smoke like I feel like when they're really really Communal thing is just a bunch of sadness on top of sad and this try and make each other feel bad. I'm like, I'll need that shit I'll need your insecurity. I'll need that so I'll just stop I respect you for that. That's why I like you. I think I did, man. I, I, the Monroe is, you've always been a little individual.

Even though I know you come in, you're black, I'm black, let's tack Bobby and hope he dies. I understand that. I never hope you got it. Unless I don't get invited to this next cookout. How do you invite it to the cookout? What's the cookout? Oh, never mind. I'm happy now that you didn't get invited to this next cookout. Howdy, you invited to the cookout. What's the cookout? Oh, and never mind, I'm happy now

that you didn't get invited either. Wait a minute. Buddy, I invite, listen. No. No, hold on. I don't just need. There's no cookout. He knows a cookout every fucking summer.

Listen, I told you. Stake tips and shit. If you don't make eye contact, you're not coming. Listen, I told Keith, he has four black people he can invite. It's always Marina and half a bond. That's on Keith. That's not my fault, that's Keith, I have Dante. Vaughn was there.

Marina, Keith. Dante and Vaughn should count as one. That's one. And that's a two more spot. Why? Why Dante? I like that. Dante's one. Why? Why, Dante? I'm like, that's it. Dante's one.

Why? Because he has like bones in his ears and he drives a motorcycle. Why? I gotta tell you, that might knock him down a notch. Because he has even one. He's like a white guy. Yeah, well, he really is like fucking... Whitney from Morgan or a war.

Whitney from the Bobby, you have a cookout every year? Listen, dude. Listen, Chuck. I'm gonna tell you right now. No. We have just become friends. No, we have known each other for almost 20 years. Do you have a cookout over here? Listen dude, listen Chuck. I'm gonna tell you right now. We have just become friends. No, we have known each other for almost 20 years. That is a factor.

That is a fact too. That's a fact. And wait a minute, I am tonight just now hearing about a cookout. Well you can come now because you're calling me out and you can't, because you threw me into the bus with Chuck Knives. So how's that?

You have a news box. You know what? Here's the deal. I'm cool with that. I'm bus with Jack Mouse. So how's that? You have a news you know what? Here's the deal. I'm cool with that. I'm fine with that too. Because I know wherever you live is about to be quarantined. That's what I'm saying. I love this kid.

What you find him. He is great. Monroe, you are great, man. I really dig this guy. He's very, he's very clean. He's like straight ads. Fucking very Kendrick Lamar. I really dig this guy. He's very he's very he's he's clean almost He's like straight ads fucking very Kendrick Lamar like I don't know poolful a lick it. I like it

Yeah, yeah, he's very funny. I wish he wasn't that funny tonight I wish I was receiving end of all this what shit And I'm proud I can die my bar my kids barbacue is done This is sad night for me. Listen, you can come to the barbecue. Listen, I'm inviting you right now. Okay. So when we have it, when you hear about it,

I will try, here, I'll tell you why, I don't get the invite. I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why. A lot of people don't get the invite because of, I usually invite Colin, Keith, Norton, and Voss. And that's it.

And then I go, oh, I gotta invite, I gotta invite Rachel, fuck Rachel. I gotta invite Amy, okay. Oh, I gotta, I gotta invite, oh shit. I remember one year Carmen was, Carmen, what's, Carmen Lynn, Carmen Lynn was mad. And I invited her, she never came.

A lot of people I invite, and Patricia Steph, this problem too, never come. And then it's like, go fuck yourself. You asked me to come of people I invite, and Patricia you have this problem, too, never come. And then say, go fuck yourself. You ask me to come and then I invite you and then go fuck yourself. You're not getting the invite. But you are asking, and you are invited right now. So when you hear about it,

if I don't invite you, call me, or you just come. But by yourself, don't put, tote, I don't want, you can bring your wife. But not for the philly comics. That's what it is. That's why I don't get the invite, because you don't want me bringing my friend. No, I like your friend. You can bring your wife. But not for the Philly comics. That's what it is. That's why I don't get the invite. Cause you don't want me bring them up, friend. No, I like your friend.

Well, nobody wants that. Well, you know, I'm not, that's what young comics do. They want to bring in somebody else. Cause they feel like somebody is the ride. Buddy, I don't care. You know what somebody else? It's two more hand burgers, two more hot dogs,

and five more steps. And I don't have the money for people I don't know. So you can come, okay? And that's it, you bring your wife, please bring your wife. That would be great. You and your wife are invited. Chuck, next year. Next year.

Oh my God. Chuck, you can talk. 2021, Chuck. And you can bring your kids. How many kids, three kids? You like three kids. I know, I asked you, how many? I got, I mean how old?

I have a 19 year old, a 14 year old, and a five year old. All know, I asked you how many. I mean, how old? I have a 19 year old, a 14 year old, and a five year old. All right, bring the five year old. The other two are gonna bomb everybody else. We on their phones going, we go now, can we leave? Do you have any vegan? You know what, you're absolutely right. I feel that way about the others.

They're not in fight. Listen, five year old. Five year old, they have a bouncy house, a magician. Really, do you do it? Dude, I got everything up there. I mean, it is a kid. I got everything up there. I mean it is a kid I got a zip line. I got I built the pirate ship and We'll be playing last time we was playing something

It was me Joe list somebody else. Oh Cornhole Cornhole. Yeah, that's a great Not that cornhole You throw the bean bags in the hole. Oh, yeah, okay, you know, they have a professional Cool, you know, we call that where I get to back toss, but that's okay. You guys call a corner. Yeah, you like to go for it. Yeah I don't know who to listen to because you're both They have a professional whole league. I've watched see that right and it's like no one's in shape. It's like they're We're see them bowling. Yeah, well, I mean what are you gonna be? Do you ever see people who play darts? Fat mutants, I mean that's drinking beer. What do you think they're doing push-ups?

I mean, it's a it was invented for drunk people to go, ah We remember the football game with the piece of paper. I love guys. We will invent a sport a sport Out of tin foil a bug, and a toothpick. And we will have everybody in the place just chanting it and doing it and there'll be a guy going, I won! My brothers would invent games like that. They would throw the football, but they'd be like, all right, you have to let it.

They'd throw it as hard as they can. And be like, it has to hit you square in the chest before you can use your hands. And they would go back and forth. They looked like they had the shit kicked out of them while they're there. Oh no. No. All right.

Shows over. All right, y'all. Thanks, Dr. C. You're welcome. And listen, this was beautiful. Listen, guys, the great show. It was in my shirt. No, seriously, I love you.

I did that for a reason. I did that for a reason. It's going to be there for nine days, nine days. Inside my hoodie, the way you should sneeze is inside of your jacket or in your elbow. Not on my hands, my hands are free. Now I sneezed, it's inside, didn't touch the mic, my mic by the way.

And now I'm gonna use that. You're gonna give somebody a hug. That was a corona burp, man. What? You're gonna give Liz a hug, You're gonna give me a hug. I don't touch anybody, dude, I bow. I'm like fucking Buddha. I can write.

I've heard sea. I bow everybody now. I really do. The Japanese say have a right, right? They got it right. Bowling, you know? I'm not, you know, I used to give Karyam and Dowshirt. I always thought that that thing with not touching people

was a rich guy disease. Because when you're coming up, in my head I was like, when you're coming up and you're trying to make it or you're trying to be successful, you kind of don't wanna be, you don't wanna be, you know, I don't shake. Because people take that as fuck you.

It's what I call a press the flesh. Yeah, I kiss shaking hands and kissing babies. Right now, I should've listened to how he men dial how to write. Dal had it right. He had it right. Why do we touch each other? It's such an old-fashioned, horseshit, alpha male. Let me see how hard you shake.

Horsehit, I am bowing at everybody like I'm a kung fu master. I tell people that my father issues, but that's a different thing. He's also OCD, which is, you know, it's not like he made this. It's not like he's making a choice. You know what? You know what I think from now on I'm going to start something new. Yeah, but you know that he's watching the news going, I've been doing this for years. I was right.

And I told all you fucks and now you're doing it my way. It's true. Right. I want to invent. You know what I wish I did, and I think I'm definitely gonna do this because this is gonna happen again. As soon as this one's over, I am buying raw,

I wanna buy patreon.com, such Robert Kelly, hand sanitizer, and I'm gonna sell it as my merch at the show. You should do that now. I know, you, my way. Base mask with one of those things printed on it. Yeah, right? Yeah, but I'm trying to show you something.

Seriously, Bob, you know, this is the only second idea I've ever given you. One, the other was you did a joke and it was about you doing something on a snow thing. And it was so funny. You know, I don't watch comics, but I watched you do that joke. And I was like, after you got off stage, I don't know if you remember this I said bro, you need to find somebody to animate that joke. Yeah, you'll get

Five million views. Yep. Do you remember that I do yeah, and I actually recorded it and I have the actual audio It's I got to find I can't pay 70 grand as some animator. I know so one of my fans out there hang on I'm doing this go ahead one of the fans out there hang on, I'm doing this. One of the fans out there, I don't know if you want to animate it, as up to you. And you should, because guess what? You'll get your 70 grand back with no problem. All right, listen, now, I'm not in the joke.

Will you stop giving my money away? I need a Rolex fucking Skydweller blue face, 22 grand. All right? However, the other thing is, don't worry about the Pure Rel, because you can't get that right now Yes, so here's the other thing you Do 99% isopropyl get little spray bottles put it in spray on your hand. It's the same as that It's straight it's like the straight alcohol. Yeah, it's the same thing

You just spray it and it's just spray out the hands what happens with people is that it's hurting their hands It's trying their hands. Right. And so then what you do now is you follow that up with the Robert Kelly hand lotion. Right. Go right behind this. This fans, that's not what they would be using it for. Well, there you go. Why do I get my show?

I would be going, Well, that's the Robert Kelly face mask. Yeah. So now you're selling even more tickets. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a reason. Now I got two you're selling even more tickets. There's a, now I got two reasons to come to a show. Matt Richards is telling me.

Well, there's something else in the two. That's what Matt Richards is. We get a mic over there. Yeah, he's telling me where you said, Mike, can you, can you get a mic over there? What did he say? What? He said, Aliveira. Hang on one second. What'd you say? No, you can't get a mic over there? What did he say? What? He said, Alavira. I think I want a second. What did you say? Alavira.

No, you can't have a mic over there. We gotta set everything up, but there will be one over here. Okay, great. What did he say though, because I didn't hear it? Alavira and alcohol, Matt's hand sanitizer. That's what's in it, but there's some other stuff too. There are actually prisoners in New York, I believe, Cuomo, right?

Yeah, yeah. Is having them make hand sanitizer. I saw that. But it's only 65 cents an hour. Yeah, it's 65 cents an hour. What would they give a shit? What else can they give to? Everybody's bitching. You're not paying them enough.

They fucking murdered people. Not at all about that. They shot people level eyes. Oh, like a you stay up. What else have they got to do? They have to do. They have to do this whole book bag. How about this there? What about the ones that just stole book bags? How about this one?

How about this one? You're making 65 cents an hour. Beat and you're not just sitting gen pop doing pushups. You're saving, you're actually getting with Jesus. So whoever you believe in, you're helping the world again. So take the 65 cents an hour, shut your face,

get some new ports, some Polyman 100s. I some rammed out the commissary. All right, and I said another brand, just so it's not not totally racist. I mean, but that is the black brand. Even both of them are really a black brand. What's the other brand? Why don't you just throw in some new ports

or some cools, I mean, whatever, whatever you smoke, whatever it is you keep people. Whatever the diverse cigarettes, stories, whatever you're smoking, whatever it is you, you people. Whatever the first cigarette store I'm gonna sell. All of them in 100s are black guys and middle-aged white women says, you're actually right. I am right, I'm totally right.

I had a mother-in-law, can you go down and get me polyming 100s? The ones with the- Bobby. I just, I think that this whole thing is going to get a lot worse. And I think as comics, it's, man. There's gonna be like 10 cities and shit that are like quarantined.

You understand that they're gonna cancel shows. They're gonna cancel shows. They already did. They cancel Southwest. Yeah, but they cancel that and I'll tell you why. That's a fuss. They didn't cancel that. The city canceled it

Yeah, because the world comes to that moon tower is just the people from that area that's still going on Yes, because it's We're comics are coming in yeah, and where it's just a it's a smaller thing It's not the world coming in for that. It's just us and there it's the people around there coming to the shows South by Southwest is literally the world. They have a tech floor. There's like 40,000 people coming through. Too many people, so the city canceled it.

Not South by Southwest. I had a fundraiser in Long Island, canceled. What is it? A fundraiser in Long Island, canceled. Well, the canceling stuff like that, because it's like that's happening here. It's like, you know, they don't need to do that. They can wait on that.

They can do the fundraiser again. Comedy clubs, that's how they make comedy songs and the stand, that's how they make them. The stand, uh, uh, cancer shows, the stand. Yeah, but that's because the comedy couldn't fill the room. I said, oh, damn. Yeah. Oh.

Damn, Bobby, you were on the line up. I'm sorry. It's, it's Stavros' pizza pizza night. Uh, we can't fill. I'm sorry. It's, it's Star Wars is pizza pizza night. We can't fill. I wonder why. No, I'm kidding. Star Wars, I say that because I love him and I know he could fill the room.

That's why. Of course. Okay. By the way, you're scaring the crap out of me. I'm actually starting to, I'm starting to hope that Monroe is right that my people can't get it. Yeah, but if you don't even know,

you're right. I've heard it. I'm not that. First Yeah, but I don't even know. You're right. I've heard it. First of all, you don't want that. No, you're going to put, you're going to play all black rooms. Come on, Chuck. Chuck, nice. Yeah, we've made it. Give it up for Chuck, nice.

Hey, guys. You guys see me on the today show? All right. We have a great time. You'll be fucked. You have to change your name oh Chuck D Something oh god. Oh god. That was worth that was what's coming here right there what you just did

Dr. H has an album coming out when I yes, I do Yes, I'm an album coming out on March 17 March 17 thought uncom. It's not uncomfortably hot dead a title that totally betrays Exactly what he just said about me So it is a hilarious album. It's very funny. It is coming out on a laugh button live. Yes Records it's one of our first albums that I'm coming out with and we're very proud of it very proud of you and and you should I mean he's one of the funniest guys. I mean, in Aruba, I gotta fall, this fucking asshole. I love it. And he just goes, and he murders that will.

You know, he just goes up, he's like, hey, what's up? We're just talking and they go, chuck nice. Oh, right back. And he just goes up, and the place flips out, and they comes off. All right, dude.

I'll see you after. Maybe we'll go get some assaid bowl. Yeah. And it's unbelievable. But I'm not doing anything to you because he does the same thing. So it's cool. But I appreciate that. You're right. Unbelievable, man. I can't. This is you got to get this out. I'm download is coming out and everything. It's coming out on every single thing. So no matter where you, you know, whatever it is that you're doing your thing on, because what it's their Pandora and serious and Spotify and it's their Pandora and Syrias and Spotify

and you know, I'm really not that dirty. I'm not, I'm really not that dirty. I'm not, I'm not mean, I'm not dirty, I'm not political, but at the same time, I'm not safe. Yeah. I hate a lot of shit. Yeah. And I let that put, you know what, I'm actually,

I hate to say this. I'm a very of shit. And I let that put, you know what? I'm actually, I hate to say this. I'm a very compassionate, loving person. And I, it's very hard for me to be like, I love a guy like you who, and I mean this you and Norton, Patrice had this too, at least he did with me. Right. I don't know.

You know, Todd Lynn was this way with me. I don't know. You know, Todd Lynn was this way with me. I don't know. I know Todd Lynn, a lot of people said he was an asshole, but he was that way with me. But he was with me. And so, like, and I think it's because I really do like people. I don't, I'm not a conflict driven person. Like, I love hanging around and watching you guys talk to one another. And I don't join in the conversation because they cut each other up.

And I am not good at that because I am an angry person underneath at all. I'm in therapy for a very long time to deal with the fact that I have very deep anger issues. And I don't want anyone to bring that out of me. You know, because it starts off like, yeah, you know, Bill Bixby, yeah, and then I'll go Bixby walking I'm going, hey, how's that go? Right, and then two minutes I'm like, my fuck, fuck, I'll kill you fucking like how did like and I don't I don't ever want that But what I love is when I see comedians who are But what I love is when I see comedians who are detached

enough from the situation, not themselves, but the situation where they can enjoy that kind of exchange. Well, we do that. And I love it. We do that all the time. I don't do it with everybody. I really don't. There's certain people that I know, look, I'm not gonna do it with you.

Our relationship is different. And that's cool. And I had to learn that over the years because when I first started hanging out with all these guys, you know, look, I'm not gonna do it you. Our relationship is different. And that's cool, and I had to learn that over the years because when I first started hanging out with all these guys, you know, and the fans do it too, and it's like, listen, relax, you know what I'm saying? I get it, but you know, just stop it. You don't know me.

So many guys have blocked, and they're like, I love you, I'm such a, well, they'll calm me, fucking whale. Exactly. You know what I mean? I know you. I'm still a human being, I have feelings. Well, I was just doing what Jim know.

I know, but he's my friend and I love him. Well, that doesn't make sense. I know like even the other night last night We were doing the show. We were doing the y'all kicked me out. Oh, we kicked him out. It was so funny I wait and then he was sitting at the table and we were like beat it and we made them that's a laugh And then he was over by the bar and we kept going And then me and Keith were like, yo man, get, he's got to go. That's funny. And Liz was like, go to table 17. He's like, what?

There's nothing to do. There's nothing to do. There's nothing to do. He's still the seating chart of the cell. That's hilarious. And he was so mad. Because sometimes, look, sometimes I get it. I've gotten it.

Right. There's more than one Keith is turning the whole table. He's merciless though, yeah. And the only thing you do is sit there and take it Yeah, shut your face and if you got a good one try it's probably gonna work and take the hit But there is a a certain level of there's a lot of love that goes into that. That's the deal You know, I mean I wish I had that I wish I had the ability to do that to like play Yeah, and it's real play I mean, I wish I had that. I wish I had the ability to do that, to like play. And it's real play.

And you know, that's why I'm in therapy. I'm working on, I can't wait to get to a point where I can just fuck around with somebody. You know what I mean? I mean, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? I'm gonna do that. I would just stay you, a phony.

I, I would just be you for this. Don't ever. I don't want you coming in. Hey, what's up, fat fucker? you come in Hey, what's up fat fuck? You know, hey, what's up, dude? I mean stop. Yeah, it's yeah, you're it's just it's not gonna You're not like that either though. Yeah, no I hate I'm not like a bus balls kind of person No, you're funny. Yeah, you you make me laugh hanging out and talking but you've never you've never you're not that person Yeah, like one time I was here it like, it was like Mike Lawrence and Mark Norman

who is hysterical, but then they just get out of bus and you tell it, I feel like I can't. You know what I mean? And it's great, I could like, love listening to it, but I can't really answer. And those two guys are like, just joking, just incredible. It's so funny.

It's just, it's like, it's coming out of a computer. Right. Like you are, have a beard, it smells like shit. But. So I just sit back and watch at that point, but yeah, no, I'm totally not like that Yeah, do you now will you ever like that with all the comics you came up with? Not real. I mean I had three brothers. I still have three brothers So like with them I would do it, but it gets to a point you're just like I

I don't know and people like I don't know you well, and I would be like call you fat You know what I mean or the call you sweaty really fuck, you know, it's like I don't know you well, and I would be like call you fat You know what I mean or the call you sweaty really fuck, you know, it's like I don't I don't She just did it Let me take out my let me take out my my notes No, but just did call me fat No, you said of someone called you I get it all the time. Yeah, so like I don't want to do that because that's not me and I don't think yeah It's like what you've done it Not on it night. It's not alone do that because that's not me. And I don't think that's like. That's just mean. What you've done it?

Not out of date. It's not a low. Yeah, that's everything. No, fuck that because you got to take that back. He goes, I want to get to these last night. No, I didn't say slap your titties. What'd you say? What'd you say?

Because there's putting a lot of a layer of mic down. I was like, make sure you get it between them titties. Oh, that's much better. That actually has some jazz to it. So much better. It was like a song some jazz to it. So much better. It was like a song. There's no violence like the slapping of the titties. There's a caressing the titties.

I met the first time I met you, I walked to the back table. I had on like a cardigan and Keith introduced me. And he was like, hey, this young fellow Monroe and I extended my hand. He was like, I don't like your fucking sweater, dude. He was like, your sweater looks like you write hand poems. And like, for like 40 minutes, you just stood there and fucking just dug into him and I just stood there.

I didn't know you. But I liked it. I was like, fuck it, all right. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Hey, there is something about it. That's very funny. I do remember that night.

That sweater sucked. It was a terrible sweater. It was a terrible sweater. It was like one of my old Navy sales when they got to sell everything. Yeah, there's like, yo, it was $2. Get this shit. It looked like somebody definitely didn't worth it.

Somebody molested somebody in that sweater at some point. Like that was a crime scene sweater. Just some middle-aged white guy. That was a terrible sweater. Bald and guy, he guys want wanna go for ice cream, right? Had like a big neck before. Oh, I have a PS4. I'm like, you got my, are you okay?

All right, when is this show over? How long have we been describing this? No, we're, we got, well, we're gonna, I wrap it up. I'm in the host, I'll take care of it. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm over once he's, please. This is the problem with you. And I'm gonna say, not a problem, but this is a problem.

And I know what you're going to say in your right. Because you are used to running shows. I am. Because you, I want to go through your credit to them. What are you doing right now? The shows are on. Oh, God. Well, this at this time, I'm doing a podcast called StarTalkSports

Edition, okay, with a former soccer player named Gary O'Reilly. I'm doing StarTalk with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. All right, stop right there. Stop right there. Neil deGrasse? I listen, man. Yeah, damn. I love that guy.

And I'll tell you why. I just posted what he did this thing. I don't know what this interview when he talked about children. Okay, and raising kids. Yes. Do you have that video Mike? I'm sorry my bothering you. No, I'm sorry. Did I bug you? We were not listening to what I said you know what? Oh, okay, maybe listen to my fucking show Neil the grass. Can you please tell him he's I said I do it so with Dr. Neil de Graz Tyson on my Instagram where I put that video with him he put he made a video that touched my heart really thought I mean listen man It is everything I thought in my heart about raising my child really didn't, you just, I felt it.

I knew it. And I think it, and I just, he put it to word. Wow. And I loved it. And I reposted it on my thing. And I actually sent him a message, DM. That's fair. And it was a long shot, I know.

But not that, I mean, he's been on, Jim and Sammy's been on the opening of the show. And I know you know him too. So we're not that far mean he's been on Jim and Sammy's been on the opening of the show Yeah, and I know you know him too So we're not that far away from each other and I do have a blue check next to my name I mean you should take that into it Yeah, that's not for just any bitty right? I Don't know how to do that But here's the thing is I I just I posted it I tagged him in it and

I'm waiting for Mike's face to actually look up and tell me that he has it. It's on my Instagram. You could go on my Instagram on the computer, not on your phone, on the fucking huge computer we have. I mean, am I pissing you off? Am I asking too much of my producer? I just love it.

He hates being over there. Usually Mike, listen, this is why Mike's, he's usually over here with me me and there's somebody over there, but he's doing this right now. It's already up. Where is it? Do you got it? Oh my God. This is how I do another podcast called Not So Nice Advice.

It's just me. And I need to, this is how I need to be the way you are on this. It's, I forget it. Okay, well anyway, you put this up there and I set this message, scroll down. It's scroll down, scroll down, keep scrolling. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, keep going.

It's over there, the puddle. Hit the puddle. Can we play this? All right, what? I mean, this is amazing. If go to my Instagram, robocad live on Instagram and watch this clip, we're gonna play it right now, but, I mean,

our sources of chaos. Okay, rewind it again, please. Can you, I don't know what you do. I just click it, play it, it's okay. Good. Kids, our sources of chaos and disorder. Yes. Get over that fact.

I was in Central Park and it rained a little earlier so there were puddles in some of the walkways. I saw a woman walking with her kid. The kid has galoshes on and a grain coat on. And this is big juicy muddy puddle right there. I said, please let the kid jump in the puddle. You know the kid wants to jump in the puddle. The kid is like three or four.

And what does the mother do? Close the kid around to prevent that from happening. That was a bit of curiosity in that moment that was extinguished. What does the mother do? Close the kid around to prevent that from happening. That was a bit of curiosity in that moment that was extinguished. Wow. Gone. Kids are sources of chaos and disorder.

Get over that fact. And where does the disorder come from? It's because they are experimenting with their environment. Everything is new to them. Everything. You splash the water. There is new to them. Everything. You splash the water, there's mud, it's fun. You get to see the cause and effect

of a force, downward force operating on a fluid. You don't have kids with the intent of retaining a clean house. These are non-commentsary goals. People ask about raising their kids. They ask about education. So I can just tell you that what has to change with our kids, Curiosity provided it does not kill them.

If it meant we had extra work, I would do that extra work. And on the other side of that is school should, as a minimum, preserve that curiosity for you. When you come down the steps on the last day of school, you should be sad that school is over. Not happy. Saying, gee, I got to go two or three months without learning anything. And the fact that you're happy that school is over means something is not working in there. You're not enjoying the learning process. If Einstein were here and we're talking with Einstein,

we can talk for hours and hours and hours. You know what question will never come out of our mouths? What college did you go to? I want to go to that same college. I bet most of your people who have sat in this chair, it's not about what college they went to. It's about their own initiative, their own ambitions, their own curiosity.

That is not taught in school. Sadly, school they view you as this empty vessel that they pour information in, you test it over here, you get a high grade, you're praised. Is that who become the shakers and movers of the world? I don't think so. So I can just tell you that what has to change, your task is less to instill curiosity in your kids than it is to make sure you don't squash which is already there. They'll retain that curiosity through the turbulent middle school years into high school and what is an adult scientist? But a kid who's never lost the curiosity.

There you go. Click that out. That's why I love that guy, man. Yeah, that's it. That's why I love him. This is how we end, right? I'll tell you that, I mean, first of all, that sound bed you could put on a banana bed for a red recipe. Yeah, it would be like this is the most epic banana bread recipe ever. I get it to that sound bed you could put on a banana bed, Fred Restonby, and we're like,

this is the most epic banana bed recipe ever. I get it to the sound bed. That sound bed is like from what I'm having. Cups of flour. Two men, right. Discovery chub. I mean, you can do that. Sound bed's pretty epic.

I had a two table spoon, it's a vanilla. I had it. Two four old bananas. One virus to black men who can never get it. One chubby white guy who did. Podcasts that made all podcasts possible. But you're right. I love him for that. And you know what?

It's funny that you you play that because I've seen you with your son. Yeah. And that is who you are, which is son. I just why you resonate. That've seen you with your son. And that is who you are with your son. It's just why you resonate. That's why that resonates with you. This helped me right now with him because he's at an age where he's being defined. Of course he is.

And I'm discovering who he is. I don't wanna yell at him. He wants his existence. I do, I do, once in a while. I'll be like, Max, and I'm like, and me and my wife put, he said, we're always Bobby, just bring it down. Don, let's go, you know what I mean?

Because you're not gonna get through it. I just, it's not who we are. We're from Boston. But listen, we would yell that, we would yell that as kids. Our moms, our dad, Bobby, put that down, you fuck. Don, shut, you know, I mean, that's who we were raised as. So to break that cycle is hard. And we do it once in a while, but know, I mean, that's who we were raised as. So to break that cycle is hard. And we do it once in a while, but we check each other.

But that video right there, when I watch that, and I watched it more than once, and it keeps me, it let him jump off the curb, let him run through the bushes, let him pick up a ball. Absolutely. I really believe. So let me just say this, I have three children and a lot of my standup

is about how much I cannot stand my kids. Okay, but the truth is, the greatest privilege I have on this earth is being a father and I love it. I love it, which is why I'm able to do standup about how much I hate my kids. Honestly, that's most of my standup is about how much I hate your kids. It's that's most of my stand is about how much I hate your kids. It's really weird.

It's the weird that you're here. Yeah, that was great. Thank you. Apparently she has a hard time busting ball. I know. Yeah, that's me. I was like, wow. Somehow that all goes out the window.

It just goes into the shitter with me. I just never heard of me. I mean, literally, he had me. He's like, let me tell you something. I was like, oh my God, and he's like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, yeah. But, but, but, but. I love him. I really do. He's just great and He was talking and he was just going into you know the way he does it He can go just think it just take a room over and everybody's asked him a couple of quick about black holes in space

Yeah, and then I went can I say something? How's the field to be off the love boat? Oh My god, and nobody left. Of course they didn't I thought I thought he was left with that I thought he looked like Isaac I just got that oh my god and it tanks so fucking He's so funny. He looked at me like what I get it, but you were on a comment That's I mean for me to take that you got a comedian like he's funny though He is funny and he's on that show and we do and for me and I've never it's not like I mean I call them Isaac from the love book that is a fucking great line. That's listen

That's funny to us. I fucked up but well you know when you're like the greatest science communicator on the face of the earth and An astrophysicist who has 30 books and somebody says I loved you in the love boat You used to be a championship collegiate wrestler. You're like I will fucking break your nut. All right Listen, I get that but I am a fan. I wouldn't have said it. I mean, that's a pretty funny line It is a funny line Listen, I mean, but I just want to say that you know if you could repair I can't be around famous people I ruined every relationship. I can't talk. I just fuck it up I did Chris Evans. We could have been pals. I fucked it up. I fuck them up I just I sent them a text and I I went good meeting instead of you

I sent them a text and I weren't good meeting instead of you. They never talked to me back then. You're a little neurotic. Oh, I love you. That's probably not what. No, exactly what happened. Really? Oh yeah.

Oh, and then it's just John. I just, yeah, well, it's amazing. Sometimes you just gotta, you know, not. Yeah, I should not. I should have, I should have, I should have just, I should have just, not, not. That just makes him a shitty person. I didn't hear you, what? I said, I just make He's just got it. What not? And that's just make him a shitty person. I didn't hear you what I said that just makes him a shitty person

No, he's not it go. Ah, he's good meeting you two man. That's a little weird No, I was I was and I was and I was sad that no that night he gave me his number and that night I texted him like Like the movie swingers at like two in the morning and the mayor was like, no, don't do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. And I did it in a good meeting. It's like, what? I fucking need it.

I did that with Cuba good in June. You did? Yeah, I did. The same thing. I texted him after we met. We hung out for a night and we got, was it the same night where he was like, no, he's fucked this baby.

Well, he got him. Well, some money. It was from me. No. No. I bloke. I killed him. No, he was a lot of fun to hang out with.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And then I texted him and of course I shouldn't have done that. Yeah. You know, I should not, I should have let it go. Yeah, you're, you know, I don't care who you are. You're the fat chick. It's right.

Or with famous people. There you go. Yeah. You know, it's like, you know, but I, you know, I was't care who you are. You're the fat chick, right? Or with famous people. There you go. Yeah, you know, it's like, you know. But I, you know, I was like, he was just like, hey man, you know, you want to do movies? I was like, I do not want to do movies. That's not who I am. He was like, you know what? I should introduce you to Oprah.

I shouldn't say fat chick. I should just say fat guy, because I'm me. I should know why I just threw fat girls, Chubby girls under the bus. I could just say me, you know what I mean? I'm me in the relationship. Chubby girls are like it right now. So, you know.

If you live in Philly, they always been it. Fat girls are the best. Are you from Philly? So am I. Okay, right? Hi. Yeah. I know I felt something.

I can't wait for you guys to have never met. We have not. This is the first time we have ever met, like formal. He's like formally mad. I have seen you at the clubs like, you know, what's up, but we've never introduced ourselves. Oh, God, that's what my show does. It brings people together.

Yeah, once a month, Bobby brings two black people who have never had a kid. Once a month. Yeah. Once a year. What do you think? Oh, shit. I'm glad.

And I've taught black people here here than that is cookout. Oh my God. Jay is like on fire right now. She's doing it. I love it. So what's the other show you're on? And then I have a podcast that I do called Not So Nice Advice, which I put out once every six months.

Which I wasn't doing news too though, right? I still do political commentary as well Yeah, you know, and you know, it's funny as most people don't know me as a standup comedian That's why I put the album out really that's why I was happy to put the album I was like okay, left, you know what I mean? I'm left button. I'm gonna do this. Yeah, I'm gonna actually do this because People don't know me as a standup. They think I'm a TV guy. I think you're pressing out. Right, they think I'm a TV guy. That's what they think. They don't know that.

It's not a bad thing. No, I guess it's not. Good thing, yeah. But they don't know that all that TV crap came from the fact that somebody saw me on a stage. Yeah. You know, anyway, go ahead. Now, when was your last album before this one?

Never. Oh, really? That's the first album. Oh, wow. I mean, I don't understand. What you've heard? Oh, really? This is the first round. Oh, wow. I mean, I don't even need to get it. I don't understand. The reason why I did this is because, you know, Emilio, from Emilio owns, what's the club?

New York, New York, New York. And Emilio, thank you. Emilio's a good friend of mine. He was just like, you know what? You should put out an album when I work with these people. And you know what, you should do it. And I was like, I just have never thought of anything. Here's the thing.

I'm going to be very honest. I love doing comedy. Yeah. I've never done comedy for like money. Yeah. I do it because I am addicted to this. I wish I did not ever have to do comedy again, but I have to do it.

That's all I can explain. I never want to do this shit. It's the most awful business in the world. Yeah. Who would do this? Yeah. And I the most awful business in the world. Yeah, who would do this? Yeah, and I can't stop myself from doing it Yeah, and so he was like you're amazing. You're funny. You need to do that And so that's how we he is doing a lot of good stuff over there, and I love that he's put this Club back on track. He did and he actually is allowing comics which the comedy seller has done for years to create

Yes, I love you know as allowing comics, which the comedy seller has done for years, to create. Yes, I love. I mean, it was a fun, I'm writing my new hour at the pussycat, which I get that hour to work my stuff like last night, to be able to go up and do this thing that's a little different than what I can do at the club. Speaking of that, I do want to go. We got to wrap up, right Mike? All right, relax.

I say when we wrap up, okay? I agree with you. Okay, Mike said he's in a shit mode. Why ain't a shit mode? He wasn't when he got here. Yeah, you're in a good mode. I think it's you Bobby. It's not me.

I know him. He's never like this. Look at his holding his head up. Look at this. All right, sweetie. We're gonna let him. I got real quick.. Look at his hold on his head up, because I'm sorry, I'm sorry. All right, sweetie. We're gonna get, we're gonna let him. I, I, I, I real quick. What do you got going on, Jay?

I don't have much of anything. There's, I got my career as the coronavirus. So this, this podcast, this is it. This is the highlight. Everything else has been canceled. No, not, not a lot this summer I've planned on being on a few different states down south, but I'll announce that on my website,

just Jay McBride, to AYE, MCBR, but I'll now tell my website just jmigbride to a white e. I mean I'm CB are fucking I'm gonna say it deliciously funny. Well, thank you. I mean, that's a great. That's my I just made that up. Okay. I mean really funny I mean when I met you and I said this before I was like alright, whatever you're gonna go on I read you at the radio station whatever something. Oh great Right and you came on I was like alright. We'll what this is. And she went up and just fucking killed it. And I was like, oh my God, and so different. Usually when you have like openers or whatever,

yeah, it's like, okay, I watch a couple minutes of it, I see it, done it. Here comes a t-shirt, fucking sail. Right at the end. Hey guys, before you go, I'm filming team, team, team, team, team, team, team, team, team, team. And I mean, fucking money, I get better as a comic, you become a headliner, then you get money. That's how it works. Anyways, now say your t-shirts, team, team, team, team, team. And I mean, fucking money. Get better as a comic, you become a headliner.

Then you get money, that's how it works. Anyways, now say your secrets, get a bracelet, a mug, a pussy, do whatever you gotta do. Cuff him if you're ready to fucking better hour. No, but anyways, I digress. She went up and, I mean, blew me away. Original, out of the gate, making risks, funny, and is hilarious.

So you get a chance to check her out, please do, and I'll go to her website. get a chance to check her out, please do. And I go to a website. I appreciate that. You got it, no problem. And Monroe, my, Oh, this should about to get canceled, but I still say it, I'm at House of Comedy next weekend.

It's in the mall. So that's just about, at Mall of America. Yeah. Okay. The Glasgow International Comedy Festival in Scotland. Yeah, you can't go anywhere. So fucking see me here on this podcast.

Do you want to come back next week? I'm gonna come back next week, please. You like fucking sick? No, right. He turned a statement into a question all at the same time. My foster kid, I got to take feed him. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha see he's one of the young I got a podcast but I know need a lot of apologies. Yeah, but you never mind. What man? You couldn't wait a beat. We hit this. Look at us. Look I was waiting and waiting and waiting. What are you gonna do? You're gonna you do a podcast with it's 12 at night. Now we're going right downstairs of the seller. Yeah, poppin Castigio the way you're gonna be out by 945. We do it in the afternoon. The neighbors upstairs are like, keep it down. You're gonna fucking, you're gonna lesbian couple upstairs.

Keep it down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let me say this, Bobby. And I mean, I know we gotta go, but, and I gotta go, by when I say we, I love you, man. You're a sweetheart. Thank you.

You're the best. I've known you forever. You've always been the same guy since I met you man. You're a sweetheart. Thank you. You're the best. I've known you forever. Yeah You've always been the same guy since I met you. I thought I got better, but okay I'm gonna I'm gonna therapy for 10 years. I thought I thought I evolved a little bit No, but good. Maybe a little more therapy. Okay But seriously thanks. I hope I can come back. Yes, and I'm not promoting anything And and thanks for having me on you got it buddy. I love you Chuck'm not promoting anything. Absolutely. And thanks for having me on. You got it, buddy. I love you Chuck.

Jay, thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me. I'm going to be Mike. I'm going to do my things because you can't do it because we need a microphone over there. We'll get one next time. We got go to robacadolive.com for all my dates. Creepswithkids.com.

We are this weekend. I think there's literally eight tickets left for the Grammacy. And I think it might be sold out, but they there's literally eight tickets left for the uh... gramma seed and might think it might be sold out but they release in these VIP tickets so make sure apparently a fucking trucks packing up those are the tickets and we got turning stones creeps with kids dot com bevel the cab at theater

uh... we got we as a few a bunch of show we just added dc we're adding a uh... Atlantic cities up uh... Atlantis we as a few a bunch of show we just added dc we're adding a uh... uh... Atlantic cities up uh... and land this up there i'm sorry tampa tickets let's go get on it uh... creeps the kids dot com and if you're watching the case creeps the kids of the case if you're watching this if you're fan of this podcast i need you

right now to go to patreon dot com slash robber Kelly become a member just do it. It's a price of a cup of coffee. Get on board. Help us. Keep this stuff going. Creating. We get live from the shed.

Ari Schaffer's episode is going up next. Jim Norton's is up right now. We got Anthony Coomany is going up. Dennis Leary is shooting it. We got a bunch of other guests that were shooting for this season. Last season's up to with Quinn and Robinson and Voss and Bennington. It's all up there. Plus you get this podcast before anybody else. It goes live stream when we shoot it to you and then you get it before everybody on Thursday. I believe it goes up on the recorder thing.

Audio. All you truckers out there. All right, if you listen into me here, become a member, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. We want to hit a thousand members by the end of the year and we want you to help us do that. So go there, become a member, if you're a fan, become a fan there. And then Mike, what do you have? Just say it, I'll do it.

I'll be open with his name as a manager theater. I can't hear you, what'd you say? March 19th? March 19th? Grammacy theater. What are you doing there? Opening for the hyenas. What about us? Not now. You're fucking over there with those clock suckers. Is that why you pissed? Did you do a hyenas today? Did you all were you with Chris today? What that oh really all right well usually when he's with the hyenas I get a little shit treatment He's a little because they you know those young weirdos Well, they appreciate well whatever they do, I don't know what they are.

You know, go ahead, buddy. What do you, I totally, I high-in is, Skankfest, would you, or why are you gonna be in the evening? Skankfest, yeah, that might be canceled. I know Lewis is like, we're not canceling anything. All right, cool.

That's good. I'm pretty sure you have the whole fan base has fucking something, we're gonna do nine different diseases But no, Skankfest is happening. They're not canceling We're doing that live YKWD. What else you got? Because a massive head is scratch really stretch those headphones out And we got two new guys here. What's your name? Mike what? What? Gin Jewish muzzle tough. You're not Jewish. What are you?

Cuban Italian with burger at the end? Are you a you're not a boxer? Okay, the audience last year was a boxer. We have he's not he's actually coming to help out the show and we got like I'm just glad that every stereo tried They tried to affix you failed so good for you his name Kingsburg. Yeah, I mean that's not like a lawyer. Of course. He's of course you kidding me He's just Cuban Italian. He's prune. She should be Tony fucking Sanchezzo or something The fucking Ginsburg what what Cuban or a talent has Berg at the end of his name you tell me I know I'm being racist. It's me. What's your name? Saul Ginsburg? What are you Jewish? No, I'm not Italian

Fuck I mean Peruvian Yeah, all Ginsburg. Yeah, that's very good and we got of course our clip master general What's your name man John John Donovan? I like making that if you guys love the clips we got coming out He's making them which I love yeah. If you guys love the clips we got coming out, he's making them, which I love. Yeah, he's just very cool. Fucking great. It takes him 17 hours to make,

but we're trying to shorten that. Takes a long time, right? Yeah, well, I was learning how to do it. He literally learned how to do it and then did it. And I was like, these are awesome. I was like, how many can you make? He was, I don't know, one a week. And I was like, well, can you speed that up?

He goes, do it. I just taught myself how to do it. That's awesome. Because he's a genius. Well, yeah, can you speed that up? He goes, dude, I just taught myself how to do it. That's awesome. Because he's a genius. Well, yeah, I liked John. He looks like he makes like fair trade locally source coffee and brook. I love it.

But he's the guy who goes out into the jungle and gets the bean. Well, yes. Because he's cute. Guatemala. He's a cute name, Ginsburg. Yeah. Listen, we make a deal.

All right. Anybody who's a watchtale, please contact me, I need a watch. Are you a watchscarf real? I will be once they get me on this hand. All right, you guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next time. You know what, dude. con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos,

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