Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Pimps Don't Say Sometimes

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

We are joined by Mike Cannon, Casey James Salengo, and Keith Robinson! Keith gets a gift, we discuss STD maintenance and improving stage names! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what's up? Today's episode is brought to you by my bookie. For all your betting needs, this season, check out my bookie. Use promo code YKWD and they'll double your first deposit. You play, you win, you get paid. Yeah, didn't bring those guys. What is that? What's that? It's an old thing. My code is... Right?

It's from my ID. Alright, let's talk about you stealing my shirt. Ready? Really dude, really, really. Really. Where are you going, man? I'm just gonna stick it. Got me. All right, we got the old school YKWD in the house. We're coming up with a new,

we're coming up with a new, what the fuck? We're coming up with a, what happened? What happened to fucking like a GoPro? What do you get a fucking, what are you using here? Fucking Canon DSL, fucking 7, 4, 12D? Yes, baby. You sold it, looked like. It looked nice, right? Yeah, we'll talk about it. I do it, it really did look nice.

It bugged me. Usually people show you stuff, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking skim through it. How's it going? Is this fucking Scorsese? Is this Mean Streets? Sc's happening? Scorsese. Scorsese. Scorsese.

Anyways, we got, I'm back. We have Mike Candid's in the house. He's promoting something silly. I was just, I was literally just screaming at fucking sack and fucking Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because they fucked up yet again on the Patreon of all Patreon people. I'm so sorry. Yeah, those are the people you have to apologize. Well, I want to apologize to everybody, but the Sunday thing is up always. They're always up and saying, but Patreon, those people are fucking, you know, this stepping up, those are my YKWD fans who are like, look, I'm giving you a cup of coffee a month, dude.

I am buying you a Bobby K and the group of, I'm buying you a cup of coffee a month. Five bucks, I want that, live from the shed. Yeah. Which is this month, Burr, hour and 40 minutes and then I have an extra 15 minute clip. He tells a story, oh, I can't wait to put this up. We literally had to turn the cameras back on because he goes, I got a story to when

you, I caught you jerking off. When we live together. That is going up on Patreon, Patreon only. So I want to make sure that they, it gets up on Thursdays. Yeah. That makes sense. Sorry, buddy. You know, the fucking, you know, it doesn't, nobody's sorry.

It doesn't make sense. It makes absolutely sense. You have a job. Can you do this? Yes. Okay. And he was on vacation. He's on vacation mentally.

Uh-huh. Mush. Um, fucking owl face. Nobody, I don't care, listen, here's the thing, I don't care if you fuck up Mike. I fuck up all the time. But as soon as I fuck up, I just own it and I go, I fucked up. Let's go. What do I do?

And I problem solve and I fix it. I hate when people fuck up and they don't tell you until Saturday at 1.45. Well, where were you? I was sleeping. Why? I had five shows last night. I have a six-year-old. I have a Bernadoodle. All right, I have a slept in fucking years. Your glasses are literally fogged up. I'm angry, Gabby. I'm fucking angry. I need a new one. I'm fucking angry. I'm rock!

Good. I need a new one. Good. I need a new word. Chris, I need a new word. I mean, Bernadoodle can't possibly make your pissed if you say it. Bernadoodle, Bernadoodle, Bernadoodle. Doodles, doodles, doodles.

That's scary. You sound like a squirtle. Oh, what? I'm Pokemon. By the way, Max's hair. Yeah. Un-fucking-believeable. Who styled his hair for the first day of school?

He went, he wanted, um, who's that guy that Minecraft nerd with his wife? What's his name? Chris Angel. No, no, there's a Minecraft guy, a stash of the pee. He makes millions of dollars playing Minecraft with his wife in their house. And they live in one of those, you know, southern states where it costs five dollars for a mansion. And the taxes are 695 a year.

But you have a pool and you have all kinds of shit. Paint Minecraft couple. So why don't Vos and Bonnie just play Minecraft? Oh, they do. Oh, she does. She minecrafts that guy. His fucking, I'm trying to make minecraft work and I can't get it to work.

Fuck ass, suck ass. Oh, fucking, Bob, you stink here. Fucking bin, man. Wrap around your fucking. No, no, no. He's not a case of your fat fuck. Are you okay? You're in a silly, Billy mood.

No, no, that's not it. How's been a wife? That way, wait, wait. No, no, that's not it. How's it been, wife? No, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. He's good looking. He's got a propaganda. No, that's not them. They're hot.

No, they're not hot. It's actually me. No, they're not hot. Couple that plays Minecraft. Can you please just type in my sentences and they will come up Michael 2.0 you're actually you need No, no couple that plays Minecraft you did not type in anything You you need an update on 2.0 you need 5.0 Even type in that plays Minecraft

Type it in I don't want minecraft You get two little kids. Yeah, is this the thing that came up? No, before. No, scroll. His name's Peyton Pants, whatever. It's one of these fucking, I got to watch this shit all day. This couple that plays. No, that's not it. Human couple, put human couple. I fucking can't win. Anyways, he pressed in, pressed in, type in Preston. That's a hot name. Preston, well, he loves this guy and he goes,

I want Preston hair for first day of school. And so my wife took him down, I got him Preston hair. There he is, right there, look at his hair. Look at that hair. He successfully got pressed in hair. He successfully did. Yeah, holy shit. Oh, he did. When you turn the AC on eight minutes ago, you fucking cock suckers. Listen, I'm. Whoa. Watch that tone. You fuck. I will fucking shave your face with my tongue. It's been on all day. That's better tone. I like it. Change. It's a subtle change, dude.

It was a subtle change. It was the perfect change. First of all, Gabby's been thieving my shit. She comes up with, I come in here and see all my stuff on the table. Where is that from? Oh, I had it. I had it. That's all I could say. I bought a fucking $500 tripod.

Man, Frado, correct? Uh-huh. You love my tripod. I love it and I want to steal it. And I took a little piece. She took the one part of it that makes it cool. It's a quick release. So the top of it, you put this on your camera

and you pop it right off. Pop it back on. Pop it back on. Pop it up. Pop. Oh, you're good at that. I'm going to believe what I'm going to sound. I couldn't do it.

I'm looking for it for not days, not weeks, a month. Probably two months. No, we shot live from the shed was in the winter. No, no, no, I taught that when we did Mike Fiennes. That was fucking in the winter. Yeah, that was a long time ago. It was much of that. Yeah, I've had it for a while.

Kappy's winning film festivals across the country with your equipment. She has my camping. I needed these because I had a camp day with the kids this week and I'm looking for these things that keep the top up. She has them. She kept them in her fucking Jeep. For her main retreat.

Retreat. All right, fucking writers, union, guild, fucking hippie fest that she goes to. Oh, there's nothing to be. Oh my God, I just got back from another hippie fest. You're writing thing? Yeah. It was a writing residency.

Yeah, no, I'm sure you got a lot done. I wrote a feature in five days. You wrote a feature movie. Yeah. How many pages? 75. Yeah, let me tell you something. It could be 95.

What's it called? Chalka Chip Cookie? No. What's it, fucking by a leg? Tell me what a movie called Chalka Chip Cookie ought to be about. Chalka Chip Cookie? It'd be a, okay, right now. Tell me.

He's about a fat guy who gets parents die who want a bakery. Now, he has to run the bakery, he doesn't want to. And the people that work there, he doesn't even speak English. And he's fucking a right-wing guy. So he winds up hating that. He hates the business. he doesn't want to. The people that work there, he doesn't even speak English. And he's fucking a right-wing guy. So he winds up hating that. He hates the business. He doesn't always do what he's burning the cookies, losing company, all of a sudden the fucking guy,

the main Mexican baker guy, his sister shows up when she's gorgeous. They wind up talking. She likes chubby white guys. He shows him how to make a great cookie, the perfect cookie. And they put it on sale. They give it to make a great cookie, the perfect cookie, and they put it on sale. They give it to one kid by his, it takes it out and tells everybody, all of a sudden the place is fucking packed for these cookies that this Mexican woman, him and

her fall in love, okay? And they sell these cookies. Now the place is back, like it's never been. He needs to speak Spanish, he's learning Spanish, he likes the brothers, he's fucking loving it, and then Trump to put the woman. She goes fucking go. And he's like, what the fuck? No. Well, those friends are like, good, that broad needs to go. She's not here to fucking put the wall, put the wall, and now he's gonna make it decision.

Do I like my friends? Do I like my friends? And he's like, fuck that, he's gonna choose, he chooses love and he goes and gets her, he marries her, brings her back and they open and he doesn't hang with those guys anymore And he has the fucking great bakery with a fucking a rainbow flag on the front fags get to come in and have cookies There words

That's his that's here. That's not me. That was a character Bobby first of all that was a trilogy I came in half with this story and I was like I It's a great fight to what would try to go fucking Story about anything I'm a genius. I'm waiting. I throw me the ball. I'll catch it. That's all I'm waiting for Come on fucking somebody you caught her right there, baby. That's a baby. I'm waiting. I throw me the ball. I'll catch it. That's all I'm waiting for. Come on fucking somebody you caught right there, baby. Those poetic So all right, I can do it to everybody Michael Well, we have Mike Cannon with his own photographer over there

It's a video Mike Lavin the homeless Pimp on Instagram. He's so great. Yeah, so fucking good. Oh look at Gabby's plus just got wet Relax Instagram Bus is disgusting That's better. All right good. We want you relax. You're a PC shitter, right? Plus and first of all the show chasing Dancelango. Hey, hey, Dylan, I like Puss Puss. Snitch, Slick, and everyone say I'm good.

Slug fast. Slug fast. Stank, wrinkle. Come on, get it on. Stank fast. That was scary. I like stank, wrinkle. Stank, wrinkle.

All right. Spoil brisket. Ham wall. This is Jewish. This is Jewish for gentlemen. Anyways, yeah, so Gabby's been stealing my shit slowly and now she's returning it. So I really appreciate that. So you're welcome.

And there's a hole in the bottom of my tent. That you put that in there. That one, a rock hole. What does that mean? That means you fucking laid the tent on a rock and then danced inside the tent and rub the foot on the rock and it's shoof the bottom of the tent. Is it really? No, I'm lying. I'm making shit out. I never know. I never know. inside the tent and rub the foot on the rock and it's shoof the bottom of the tent. Is it really?

No, I'm lying, I'm making shit out. I never know. I never know. I flipped the tent over. Yeah, it's a new movie I'm gonna call a hole in the floor. Oh, cool, cool, cool. It's about a couple that go camping and they borrow a tent but the guys in the mob and they didn't know that

and they cut a hole in the fucking tent and they bring the tent back and the guys like, yeah, we'll use my fucking tent and the guy, hey, there cut a hole in the fucking tent. And they bring the tent back and the guys like, yeah, we'll use my fucking tent and the guy, there's a hole in the fucking tent, they all get wet. They get their shoes wet, that thing. And like, what the fuck you, and then he winds up getting killed, he goes, no, no, no, no, it's this fucking bro, the bar of my fucking tent.

And he winds up having a fucking murder of these two, but he doesn't want to murder them because he likes Gabby. He likes the little hippie shit. Oh, minute. Yeah, you're right. Of course you're right, I'm casting you. Oh, minute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Push your religion of caste. Oh, cool. Look. Anyways, you have to write it in four days.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Do you need kind of patching? No, I'll take it. I got it. A lot of venom in that. I got it. There's a lot of venom in that. No, it's fine. I'll take care of it.

I have patch. It's not a big deal. It tends, when they give you something, it's because that's going to happen. Yeah. When a company mail something, hey dude, here's a patch kit. Why would you mail me this? Oh, because it's going to fucking rip. Unavoidable. Yeah, like my air mattress, I fixed it twice.

You know, sure, if they saw me, they would have sent me extra patch kits. You fixed the air mattress. I've never had one break that I just tossed out. How did you, if you patched it up? Yeah, patch it up. I mean, go to a tub. You're a man. You go to a tub where you get a spray bottle

and you just spray it. And then when you see the bubbles or you're, you find it. And you put the glue on it. You clean it, put the glue on it, put the patch on it. That's great. And there you go. So, I have a, what's it called? It's a, no, it's a big wide sleeping pad.

Thick, three inches, but wide, because I'm a wide guy. Okay. I'm a wide, a wide foot, and a wide body. So when I'm a wide foot and a wide body. So when I have a sleeping pad, I usually don't fit on them, but I have this one and it's such a great one and it popped on me the first night, but I fixed it.

So I've never successfully slept on a pad or an air mattress in the wild. Like every time I've camped, I've gotten too drunk and just fall in the sleep next to it. Which is like an unglass or something. Unglass. Something awful is not possible at all. She's had a perfectly made bed and then I'm just face down in the corner.

I'm glass. Mike, take your phone out. Take your phone out. Get video me. Come on, faster than that, you slug fuck. You slug fuck. Oh yeah. You ready?

Yeah. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear Bobby. Happy birthday to me. Is it your birthday? No. Oh, why did you put stop?

I'm the director. I yell action. Are you video or are you storing? I'm the director. I, L, action. Are you video or are you storing? Are you ready? Are you ready? I'm sorry about this. No, it's the month. Today, I don't know what's happened.

This is great. He's not. Today is my 34 years of sobriety. Oh, there we go. Congratulations. Well, you remember your alcoholism, your downfall of your business. I've been drinking nine months.

Oh great, well, 34 years of sobriety today. Oh shit. What? Is that a whole system? No, that's a, I don't know what the fuck. I just reminded you of that drinking. I have to go through the light detector. I'm gonna sit on my thigh.

Oh, it's gross, right? Yeah, it's fucking gross. Is that an ingrown hair or is it. That's gross, right? Yeah. That's fucking gross. Is that an ingrown hair or is it? It's probably a sweat pimple. Let's get a look at it. Yeah.

Let's hold that out. Pop that thing out. Let's get a look. I'm gonna wear it. Is this still the same video? Oh, sorry. You never said cut. Still making the video.

I cut your fucking cock, Saka. You win. Too sad. Well, I got this great gift. Where are my glasses? I have a gift and it's sad, because I don't have it for everybody in here. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. I apologize. But I also have it for some of my staff. I might. How many people went camping? To comedy camp. How many people? Uh, comedy camp? How many people? Uh, 12.

Can we do it out loud in the start, guessing? Yeah, yeah, okay. Ready? Okay, I'll do the fingers. Dance owner. Bing. Uh, Christine. They're on a show together.

Big J. Well, I did Christine first. Why, because she's a woman. Yes. Yes, Aglow. Back to you. Excuse me. Oh, sorry.

Go running. I want a bone bone. OK. Becky. Yep. Chris. Yep. Me. Yep.

You. Yep. Fanny. Yep. Sagalo. Yep. That's it. Ari.

Yep. Is that it? Mush. Mush. Mush. Yep. That's 11. What's that?

Is that it? Yeah. OK. So we might have one for somebody. They got a fight to the death. Okay, I'll just take the box. My friend of mine, a fan of the podcast that I mentioned it last week made these amazing knives.

Set me a box. You made knives? We got knives. So everybody went, yeah, it's Keith. Keith is a dick on Instagram. He's Keith Edeck. Angry man is his name of his company. And he made these beautifulls from Rochester.

I went to his factory in the floor. And he made these beautiful knives for everybody. Wow, so cool. Who went to comedy camp? And it's a camp knife. It's a very pocket knife. It's got a nice little attachment for your waist, but when you're camping, it flips open and you hold it

like that and that's how it stays cut rope or... Kill someone. Cut a steak or eat your food. No, it's a real great little camp knife. You're keeping your backpack. It's nice. And it's not gonna hurt somebody, but it opens quick. It sharpens the motherfucker butt.

It actually says comedy camp 2019 on the blade. Oh my God. That's so nice, right? That's gorgeous. So I'd like to pass these out to my comedy camp people. Here you go. That's for you. Yeah. My dad's for you. He's not getting a gift. He give that to Chris. Mike, that's just you. You're just doing us not getting a gift. You give that to Chris. Chris, you get one. Mike, you get one.

And that's it, I think. Well, that's fun. You could have sagalos. I'll take sagalos. You give it to sagalos? Sure. You'll give it to sagalos. Yeah, you promise.

And for you. Okay, get this on. I want to get this. Sorry, I'll get it on mine. Will you get it? Okay, fun. There's a lot of fun tangles like there's a proof of it. Okay, here we go.

Okay, these are the comedy knives that were given to us by Keith at Angry Man. And this is Sagalos. You'll give it to him. Mike Cannon said that he will give Sagalos his knife. So here, you promise, right? Yeah. Okay. Even though he's just going to use it to itch his eggs a month. All right. Can you give it? Can you give it to, we have one for Fanny? Fanny too. Will you give it to Fanny? Yeah. I mean, I hope they don't go missing one of them.

I hope one of them don't go missing. I just got two knives. So there you go. Fanny and Sagal, there you knives for comedy camp. These are pretty great. Yes. Thank you very much, Keith. Very nice. Very great, right? We have another gift. Thank you. And if I have one extra, I can, I can, if we have extras, I'll give them to the other two Florentapists here. How do you say that? Florentapists? Florentapists. Thank you. You did great. That's one of Casey's. I do like it. I don't like you. All right. So we're back. We have some other people might be showing up. So you might have to pop to the couch. Gabby or maybe you, Mike. Gabby, what's going on? She dead. Maybe Gabby just got murdered. What's up? Who's here? Oh, he's coming up. Oh great cool. We can

Yeah, let's You guys could scoot over one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, scoot them over. Scoot them over. Let them sit over there. He's in these There he is. I got a lot of good. Can we put this water in front of Keith? What's up, buddy? No, you're right there. Your waters right there. Just grab your water What did you say? You're right there. No, you're right there. Your water's right there. Just grab your water. You always have a tap on that wire. What I... What did you say? What did you say? Tap on that wire.

Tap on that wire for one podcast. We have two people. No, I see like one, two, three, four. No, no, no, no. 3789, 10, 11. These are all people. The only people on the podcast are these two people. That's the producer.

He's doing something. What does she do? She let you in, two people. That's the producer. He's doing something. What does she do? She let you in, fuckface. I open the door. She gave me a finger when she let me in. She doesn't like? Look at this knife. What are you doing to my, what are you doing to my guest?

Sorry. Don't show him a knife. What the hell? Oh, hi. I'm from South Philly. I'm super farcass. Yeah. You ain't doing shit.

I'm super shit out of this farcass. What. I'm suing shit out of this parkass. What's up buddy? What's going on? What's your top of it for today? There's no topics on the show. I don't know if you've ever listened to the beginning. No topics. No directions.

I love doing it. There's no rules. It seems to be made up stories. Yeah. And giving of knives. Brother's Camping Equipment. I give gifts here and I have a gift for you. How's that?

What is it? Tell you right now, my friends at tooshie.com, okay? Which is one of the great new. I have one of those. I have that. You have it. How great I ever bought. It's the best.

It's the best. You have one too? Yeah. You have a tooshie? It's for cleaning your ass. It's so good. Okay, tooshie, you gotta go get yourself a two sheet. That's not the right stuff.

That's the right stuff. Yeah. Stop wiping your butt, stop washing with two sheet. They, they, they sent you Keith, when you broke your wrist, I told them, I told them my friends wrist is still. I don't want my ass. I call. I call.

I call. I call. You my ass. I can't get that way. You've heard nothing wrong, Dre. I go, who's wiping your ass? He goes, my son's mom and I like it. That bitch need to do some stuff. They sent me a free, free Tushie for you, Keith. This is for you. Is that a birthday?

I can put that on myself. You, I don't know about that. You still need to wipe. It's too cheap, yeah. You don't want it. It doesn't do it all of it. I don't think I can put that on myself. That's great. I don't know about that. You still need to watch. That's how you do it. It doesn't do it all of it. I don't think you can put that on yourself. That's so crazy shit.

Honey, you can't put it on himself. He's got a stroke and a broken wrist. How's he going to hold the screwdriver in his seat? I got a stroke and a broken wrist. Yeah. I can hold the screwdriver with his hand. All right. And then what?

Oh, it's going to take days. So what? It's supposed to make it easy. Fuck that. You just get a regular fucking bidet. This is too cheap. Better be good. I'm going to trash it.

Let me tell you something. If we were going to find out in the trash outside when we got to she, who the fuck does that? Don't trash the company that sent you a free fucking thing. Could you start? I want to say white my ass. My ass. My ass, white.

Say it. Call it that. You don't like to she. To the name, but name books. You don't like that we have to call me. I want to see a Tushie. Who does that? I think it's Tushie.

It's Tushie? Is it Tushie? Is it Tushie? Yeah. Where am I saying it's Tushie? You got me. You're saying Stanley Tushie. Yeah. That's Stanley Stanley Tucci. Yeah, great. Yeah, great.

Well, you know what, Tucci, Tucci stinks. They say you were fucking free today. You piece of garbage. Tell them that nobody who wipes their Tucci, they wiped their fucking ass. They're not wiping it to today. It's gonna shoot water up your bum. You're gonna do it. They're not wiping it to a day. It's gonna shoot water up your body. So what?

Yes, that's some way. You're gonna love it. You're gonna fucking love it. No, not in your life. Stop, stop, fuck. Can you just fake it for a second? Oh, man, thanks for the two sheets. Hold the box up.

Hold the box up. Hold the box up. Just hold the box up in front of them. Say it again. Thank you, man. Very much for the TUSHI. Oh, one more time, but we're feeling ready. What model is this?

The TUSHI 100. Oh, that's a TUSHI classic. Oh, that's cute. Man, the TUSHI classic. Oh my God, TUSHI classic. Do you love it? I love it. Yeah, you can't wait to wash your bum with it.

Oh, I'm not bummer. What about your son? You fucking assholes. It's a turn. No, but I'm saying you're making me mad by the using words that like you fucking. I hit. Alright, so your ass hole is going to be clean. I'm gonna find my ass hole or get clean. And I like it. There's two she one thousand. It's not the two two two. We stopped adding deluxe in 1000. It's not the 70s you asked. All. It's not a disco. Two two two two two she gold edition.

No, it's the classic. They say you're the classic. You don't get the goal one for free. Out of goal one? Yeah, they didn't say the classic. Is the goal one better? The goal one would be. What do you have?

I don't have I don't have the you. You don't have a to sheet I'm actually gonna I'm gonna buy I think I'm gonna buy one I'll tell you why because the one I have so hard to put on the seat it had it's fucking an annoying that Pop off the bottom part of the seat put that on put it back on you're fucking done and just hook up your T-split the water you shut the water off And just hook up, you teesplit the water, you shut the water off, flush, empty the bowl, put the teesplit on, tighten it up, you're done.

It's like a five minute process. Oh, two she's 4,000, it's gonna be good. Wait, stop saying 1,000. What? Stop putting numbers after the two-sheep row. It's a two-sheep classic. It's like you, you're a classic. Keith is a comedy classic.

I ever have a Tushy Pro. Well, we'll work on it, work on this and then we'll get to that fucking Tushy Pro, you fucking get grateful clock soccer. But there you go, how's that? I like it. You've never used a Bade ever, huh? Yes, I use it a day.

Well, what's up saying? I mean, you act like you hate it, you never would use it. I'm just saying that real men don't use bidets. That's all I'm saying. What the fuck does that mean? Real men takes a good wipe and leave shit in your ass all. One wipe. Spread it peanut butter.

One strong wipe. You don't even look at it. You get it. You get it. I don't know look at it. You don't even look at it. You get it out. I don't know, one world man is saying, I got to Tushy. I'm not out of here.

Listen, you, listen, when you clean your ass with a bidet, you, you could eat off of it. What? Yeah. Oh my god. Shit. Yeah. I caught that from the look.

That is kind of the point of getting one, right? Yeah, so you don't, because I'll talk about it for a bit. When you wipe with toilet paper, there's always a little peanut butter left. Yeah. No matter how much you wipe, they make them use it but they in prison.

Mm-hmm. They use it. Yeah, that's called, that's called splash and water as it has all before you stick your fun. You know, boy, get over that sink. That's polite. That's just a lot.

You're really pissing down your ass. That's nice. But you're going to love this. It's going to be great. It comes with all the stuff. That's what we're good. I had a born before this. That was the harder to fucking put in.

And then, like, it wouldn't hit the hole. And I was like, bank shot had it born before this. That was the harder to fucking put in. And then like it wouldn't hit the hole. And I was like, bank shot it off my fucking tank. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a pool. Yeah, like a pool. I was like, lining up. Like sat dominoes.

Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I hits it every time, right? I haven't find it, it's incredible. I think every once you go out and get the two sheet out. I'm telling ya, I have one that has a heated seat, heated water. It has water that goes like pulses, goes back and forth. Oh my God. I have one that mine actually is a bidet and there's an enema function that makes it a hardest stream of water. So if you have little chunk stuck up in there

or go up there and get it out for you. Oh my God. Yeah, it's like, you see that mining where they use like hoses on the side of a mountain? That's what it is like. Just find hyroglyphics for millions of years ago. You shoot water in my ass over a minute and have it and then you have flop and it just starts coming out.

Is that the cold addition? No, that's the crazy addition. But it you have flop and it just starts coming out. Is that the goal edition? No, that's the crazy edition. But it's too much and it's too much. I'm going to get this for my house because it's easier and you can just keep the original seat. This one comes with the seat. I've gotten lost in it though before where I've sat on the toilet for an extra 10 minutes. I forgot.

Where am I? You got a 2-cheater? No, but gas digital has something similar and I've just taken a ship before my podcast and sat for way too long because it's so delightful. Yeah, your asshole gets fucking mushrooms on it. Yeah, shit. So much water in it. It's a nice ride.

It's a nice ride. I'm glad that they sent that to you. All right, good. Thank you, Arphatatushi. Yeah, Tushi. I can't believe I've never seen somebody furious over a gift. I mean, I could legitimately help him out. Yeah, but you did, you did have to wipe your ass.

Isn't that your ass wipe in hand the one you broke? This one? Yeah, so yeah, but when you use my stroke one, they get it for you. How I, you're rap PT. You rap, you rap PT. That's your PT. That's my you just wrap it. You wrap you wrap you wrap. You wrap you wrap. That's my PT you wrap.

PT around your fist. Just wipe it up and then I just it's expires out. Better that way. That's the one thing I get scared of as I get older is that I had one kid. I should have had couple because if I get older, as that I had one kid. I should have had couple, because if I'm like, you know, if I live, you know,

to late in life, and someone's gonna, and Dawn goes before me, which is probably what happens, what's gonna happen. You think? Well, my grandmother lived till 95. My grandfather 101, his whole side of the family, my mother's side, lived into their 90s and hundreds. Yeah, wow.

So her family lived to 80s and hundreds. Yeah. Wow. So her family lived into 80s, late 80s. So someone's gonna go. And I just, you know, for me, I just hope it's not me. And Max will probably hate me by then. I'm not wiping your ass. Oh, yeah, if you have been getting to do a two man job. What?

Yeah. Said the fat Mexican. I'd fly, no. Well, I got to be the fat Mexican. Look at him. Yeah, I get it. That's pretty accurate. You always, everybody should always have a backup kid.

Never have one kid. Yeah, but I'm talking about the same wife. No, I'm not good about that. You're dumb man. You have a backup kid that nobody knows about. You have a secret backup kid. You have a secret backup kid. Like a spy with a different house with a different passport in the wall. You got to have a backup kid.

My cover's blown. Go to Japan. You just had a kid, didn't you? I did, yeah. Yeah, you got to get a backup one now. All right, no, that's good advice. I have thought about that though before because the one kid will definitely get lost in his own life and there's one of them's going to fail.

I don't even worry about that, but one kid may be not be what you want to be in school or maybe in a complete flop. So you have two. Well, if he had two flop. Yeah. I know somebody with three flop. You have two left to get two flop. I know somebody with three flop. A dog Asian kid. I know a three flop. Yeah. We're working on three flops in my family. It's not like I can get it's flop and left and right. Well, it's over. You had a kid that you don't have. If you have two kids that mess up three kids that mess up get a Asian kid Just get one

They go up to good on the street. What do you find an Asian kid Keith? Chinatown. Oh, you can get them like a pack of Asians for a little bit of money Yeah, it's like it's like little kittens that boxes on the side of the road It's like little kittens that boxes on the side of the road Ten for another like a term pike right outside the tunnel who sell Taliban guys you guys are selling the perfume Victor watches Yeah, you want to you want the Asian I have six Asian babies in the back making sneakers and perfume bottles right now.

That's true. Small hands to get up in there. They're better than a Tushi. That's serviceable. Back in the day, they used to have people that wipe people's asses. Like the kings used to have people that wipe their ass. Could you imagine that having somebody wipe your ass hole? That's pretty cool. Didn't someone was just wiping his ass hole, so he can't imagine.

Didn't Matt Lauer get in trouble for that? Yeah. Wiping his ass hole? I couldn't let my wife wipe my ass hole. What? Oh, that'd be a wrap. What do you mean? It's your wife.

I don't want her wiping my ass hole. What? Oh, it's going to happen. I don't want her wiping my asshole. What? It's gonna happen. I remember I got your trajectory. What? trajectory. Wow. It's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen. Take a sip of what you got. I just said it. I said it right once. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

We, we know she, I got an in-grow in growing hair once near my sack. Like on my leg, but inside of my leg and it got infected. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And she was like, because she used to do aesthetician, she used to do it all the time. And she got infected first of all. Hmm. It was how do we get infected? It was an ingrown hair.

Didn't you see it? Oh, that's right. Did you try to pop it? Well, what happened was I called Dr. Steve and I was like, dude, there's this big cyst. And I got nervous. I thought I had cancer or something. He said, it's not cancer. It's probably just a cyst. You know, yeah, I assume you're going to leak out of the shelf. You're going to have to go get an operation. you know, yeah, she's you think I'll leak out itself. He can have to go get operation. Then he played the bass. And then, uh-huh. So, I just got to see Jimmy Stewart. I love it like that, Jimmy. It's interesting situation. It's a fair. It's a fair. It's a fair. It's a fair.

On the atoms. He was that. I'm very catch, you should remember, shout me. I'm going to, I'm, I'm, I was huge on Teen Wolf. He, he, he, he, he. It was the best thing on TV. They fired me, they showed me down the tubes. Ornie Adams. Um, no, I, uh, he, he told me it would, it would either pop, you know, pop it, leak on its own, like, so I was in bed one night and I felt like, my underwear was wet.

And I could smell it. Oh, no. That's the fuck. I went into Max's bathroom and it was like somebody cut me with a knife. And then I started to squeeze it and it was fucking just goggles and goo of pus. Exactly what it looks like. Yeah, and it smelled. How big was it?

It was big. Oh, my buddy had one of those right next to his asshole, like a huge borehole. He wasn't his asshole. No, I saw pictures of it. It was a fucking nightmare. He had it twice, it re-grue, and then apparently it turned into like Lyme disease or something. It turned into Lyme disease? I don't know. That's apparently what he got it from. and then apparently it turned into like Lyme disease or something. Like, are you trying to Lyme disease?

I don't know, that's apparently what he got it from. It was like part of the process of him getting Lyme and it taking over his body, but he had two sizable boils like on his asshole that also leaked out. He showed me a picture of it when he got it like, Draco's for the first time. It was interesting, because I was by myself,

I was like, oh my god, this is terrible. And then it got disturbing. Well, I couldn't call my wife, there was no way, I was like, oh my God, this is terrible. And then it got disturbing. And I couldn't call my wife, there was no way I was like, don't see this. And I sat there for an hour just cleaning, like squeezing it and cleaning it. And there's the whole barrel full of fucking smelly. All right, we get it. This is for your $20 a month Patreon. So you should have filmed this entire fucking perk. I'd be honest, didn't say it. It was terrible, dude. Terrible.

Would it smell like... Smelled like... You fucking freak! It smells like... Smelled like a cunt died. Yeah, yeah. You thought, if you found a lady on the side of the road, and her cunt was stabbed, but that's how she died

Yeah, I'm paying a pretty good pie. I'm sorry. I said too she it's too clean. I say content's too dirty I'm sorry Goldilocks. What do you want me to lie? Don't look at me like that. Say pussy. It was so sensual, it was uncomfortable. Sorry, Porsche. Trying to make me his bottom bitch, you know, like a mobster sex talk line. Sorry, Porsche, I beg you. Yeah, it's, well, it is scary though, because if I don't have, if I didn't have dawn, to like even talk to about it, it'd be a lonely existence, you know?

Well, no, you have thousands of podcasts listeners. Well, I'm talking about that nice. And later in life, I have Max, I have Dawn, and then we're done. We live in New York, our close family's all in Boston. Nobody lives in the country. No one's the strongest. And Max is not growing up paying 80 more attention.

Don, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all. First of all, first of all. What the hell was that? Don, don't dreams, don't dreams are dead, okay? She's not going anywhere. I murdered her hopes. She's got nothing. All right.

One tip bigger than the other. She ain't going nowhere. You don't go anywhere. You don't go. You don't go. No, she, she, where the fuck is she going? Whoa, where's she with the fuck is she going whoa? Where's she go? What's she gonna do?

Marriott, a middle-aged firefighter? What's she gonna do? That's a pretty nice guy. That's a pretty nice guy. That's so fun. We have a hero. Somebody that can save it in a fire. Yeah, she's not going anyway.

But you live by yourself sometimes. Wait, so you stop with your fucking, you got them secrets. Stop talking to me like a piss sometimes. Sit, push it. Just be key. What are you trying to be like a what? Stop trying to be like a piss sometimes, say it, push it. Just be cute. What are you, what are you, trying to be like a what? Stop trying to be like a pimp. A pimp, pimp, say sometimes.

Pimp. Pimp. Hey, be like, give me my money sometimes. I never thought of that. I was very demanding. Yeah. That's a true statement. But you mean it sometimes.

You want to live? I had somebody living with me for five years. See, this is the problem with me and you. What? Our friendship. You don't tell me anything about you. You know everything about me. I don't tell my girlfriend either.

I don't tell my girl for you. I think she built. It's such a piece of shit. You ask somebody, I live with you, Bob. Yeah. But you live alone now, right? Yeah. Right. And you're in a different place than you were before, though, right?

Yeah. All right. Cool. And you live alone? different place than you were before, though, right? Yeah. All right, cool. And you live alone? No, I live with my fiancee. Very nice. We just look like a man. I'm even saying everything. And I stretch out the fiancee.

No, you're saying it, it bothers me. I did, I'm sorry. I live with my fiancee. I'm sorry. It's the first question you asked me. I gotta feel pressure. Fucking Chevy Chase. Relax.

I'm sorry. When you get married. We're thinking November. We got engaged last month. That's the Chevy Chase. Relax. I'm sorry. When you get married. We're thinking November. We got engaged last month ago. We're going to speed it up. We're making it fast. Yeah. Yeah, you found him?

Is she a comedian? Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, we'll see. I keep telling her that. You're going to have to wait right here in the city. I get it now. We're going to try it out.

Whoever has more credits by November wins. She's going to have to get to work, baby. No, it's not fun. We're gonna try it out, but you're... Whoever has more credits by November wins. Yeah. She's gonna have to get the word, baby. No, she's not fun. Well, you're gonna have to do it. They're saying this all about her. I'm just gonna be mad about this. No, she's gonna be mad.

Oh, she was. Oh, shit. We don't listen to each other's podcasts, because there's gonna be something to piss the other one off. I'm so glad I married somebody who wanted nothing to do with a head shot. I am so glad that she wants nothing to do with this shit business. Because you know she would listen every week

and just yell at me when I got home. You killed whose dreams? Fuck you, you're good. You could do the fourth sad fucking and sure it's you fat fuckers. It's like which, which turns bigger? Which turns bigger? The left one, you fucking twang.

Yeah, well, you're right one's bigger. You fat content. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So you're, you're, you're getting married. How long have you known her? I've known her about seven years. Well, that's a long time.

Yeah, I know her friends for a long time. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just go to that. I know her for seven years. What, what's up? Went your first hook up. Two and a half years ago. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no for a while. He broke her heart. She's blonde. She's blonde. Yeah. Yeah. You guys look pretty good. Yeah. Bruce Bruce. I am. Is she where she from? She's from Virginia, Fairfax Virginia. Okay. Yeah. And she should be doing comedy. How long? She's been doing comedy about seven. Yeah. So you know what you got in. Yeah, we both started around the same time and we had an open market Eastville comedy club

For three years and then hot spot is really hot spot. It was called the hot spot of comedy. Oh, it's good My why is it good now? It's New York New York comedy club. Oh, he bought it. Yeah, yeah, that room is fucking killer He's filled it's in Brooklyn man. Yeah, Brooklyn What do you mean he's feels Brooklyn? It moved to Brooklyn. If somebody's in Capt E's Phil, which doesn't make any fucking sounds, but it is they've been out there. They didn't want to change the brand, you know, loyalty that people had to use.

Yeah. They didn't think they would. Well, they kept it East Phil because they still underpay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they don't pay good. No, of course not. I think they paid 25 bucks on their fucking grand opening. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. If you're lucky. No, of course not. I think they paid 25 bucks on their fucking grand opening. Yeah, yeah, of course you're lucky Wow, that sucks. Yeah, all right. We put you to bone to pick with them. Don't Can't deal with a camera around his all fucking Tough talker. No, I was told I go by Ks James Slingo my body recommended me to pressure me But he recommended me to house and the guy goes there's got too many names and made pressure on me. But he recommended me to host and the guy goes, there's got too many names.

And I was like, what the fuck? That was it. So I guess I'm not getting in there. Five names you have. Three. What is it? KC James Salinga. Yeah, not one of them.

I did too late. I mean, I'm in the, I'm in the, it's not nobody knows you. I've got two, I've got two TV fans. The people are gonna agree to me. What TV credit? I was on, while I got a comedy central present. No one cares. comedy knocked out twice

What is coming to know I don't know is that I don't want everybody gets a trophy? No, I got kicked out the first time No trophy for me But yeah, no, I should drop one but it feels like yeah, you should no, it's not too late You could literally do it five years from now if you wanted to but I would drop it What's your name bring to the stage? Give me your name again, so Casey James Lungos my phone. All right, so you want me to bring them with that All right ladies young. How you guys doing? Hey man?

Hey, what's up? You guys ready for your next comedian? Come on, I want to hear you This guy's been on a bunch of things you saw him on comedy not Come on, I got one of you here. Yeah! Give it up. This guy's been on a bunch of things. You saw him on comedy Knockout Pice. You saw him on the premium one. Knockout.

Which is 15 minutes. On comedy set to the air, one time you'll never see him again, because they do 700 of them. Give it up for Casey James. Oh, what's his name? Ooh, I don't know what KC. You said Malingo. KCJ Malingo is pretty cool.

I'll just tell my Malingo. KCJ Malingo! I'm just kidding, I'm just going to go by Malingo. KCJ Malingo. It's too much. Listen to me, KCJ is a badass name. But there's a guy from America and I know he's more successful than me.

No, he's not. No, he's not. He does. You can't tell me I don't have any credits than say it's guys not more successful. Yeah. We are a comic, nobody gives a, that guy's a, that guy's a shame away.

That's true, that's true. Okay, because you're Robert K.J. Jane. I read you guys, hey guys, thanks so much for coming out tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Give it up for Mike Gannon. He was great.

Mike Gannon. Give it up for Mike Gannon. He's Robinson. Oh, yeah. So, how lucky were you to get Robert Kelly to stop? Oh, that's fucking cool. I could stop. First off, thank you.

Thank you for being funny. You guys had an opportunity to boom me, and you have not one funny bone in your body. I literally set you up to boom me, and you were like, woo, you low-castles. No, no, no. What about Gabby? Give it up for Gabby.

Don't want to care. No, no, no. You're criminal. Give it up for your server, Gabby. Yeah, yeah. Please, Tim. Now give it up. This next guy is on fire.

Oh, yeah. He's done a bunch of things. Very soon. He's getting married in November to a sweet hut who's also a comedian. things. He's getting married soon. He's getting married in November to a sweetheart who's also a comedian. Yeah. Give it up for Kasey James. Oh.

Yeah. Kasey, Kasey, Kasey, Kasey. He's so big, he's so cool. Yeah, that does sound better. You're right, Bobby. Right. Jump. Malenco. I'll done. Malenco. What is it? Malenco.

De-Case of James. De-Malenco. Malenco. Nobody prices right game. Yeah. You can't even be down TV with that. He had dreams of being a quarterback. Something like that. Yeah, yeah.

That's what. But, um, Yeah, I'll jump it. He's James Malenco. I'll dump my last name. I'll dump my comedian and girlfriend. And I'll come here and have. No, keep your, keep your, keep your, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I see what you know what I claim my to she I like to grow up a fistful of his hair He's fucking I don't know what he is Who's that huge boss to be woman for no reason? Why another crazy James? See there's already people that way it is more famous to me Casey James is he I don't know what he's like Gorgeous. Yeah, It's a hot beard. And it's a womanly beard. I've never seen a female beard.

Yeah. Yeah. Look at, look at Bonnie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's really hot, but something up with him, right? I mean, there's a deadness to his eyes.

It says, I don't know what's going. He looks like a mannequin at Strawberry. All that. To the top of the floor. Yeah. Is there a chocolate one? There's a topless one. Look at Mike.

Yeah, look at that. Oh, look, Casey, you're right there. Oh, he's under the top. Oh, there's me. There's a guy. There's a guy. Look at me, Mike. There he is.

That's a good looking pic. What a guy. Go back to the hands. No. Hey, Casey. What a guy. Go back to the hands. No. Hey, Casey. I think Casey James will weigh better. What about Casey's slango?

Drop the James. Slango? Yeah. You're worried about your dad's. No, I might not care about my dad, but. Why? You don't care about your dad. I care about him, but he doesn't care about his last name.

It's one of those names that like at Ellis Island, where they was like Polish and they're like, they couldn't spell dog. No, you just like it. So it's not really there's no heritage to it. Dude, Casey James, man. Just Casey James. Alright. Dude, Casey James. Think about signing that. Yeah. Casey James. I'm a dip in it. Yum pole. See in a J big. I'm sorry. I say Casey James. What do you say Gabby? What KC James? KC James. KC J Salango. KC J. No KC J. KC J. KC J. KC J. KC J. KC. KC. C. J. KC.

Salango. You like the last name. Yeah. And I would have stroke. I can pronounce it. So that's fucking. But it really is. He's the only one that is that all right. That's right. What about C J Salango? I'm gonna go to work in school. I love to do that. I want to work so bad. I want to do that so bad. I want to do that so later on in life, when Keith's working at Home Depot, I can go in and talk to him. I want to do that.

I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that.

I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to do that. I want to what works so bad. I want to do that. So bad. I want to do that. So later on in life, when Keith's working at Home Depot, I can go in and talk to him. I can't work at Home Depot now.

Yeah, you can. You just write at the door. I'm talking to Risen. Stay right at the door. Well, welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

He's not even funny, man. What? What the fuck? What the fuck? Nobody laughed, he was just so fast. Everybody laughed. No one felt bad. No one felt bad for you. And don't feel bad now, you fucking hit.

How am I involved? Because you started to feel bad for him, because he wanted you to feel bad for him. You get sense that I felt bad for him? Yes, you didn't, you laughed, and now you feel bad for him. Look at his fucking face. He did have a effective solemn voice.

The view is that Keith would kick you down a flat of stairs? Yeah, I understand that. Okay. Well, I understand. I saw it. I saw Keith Trench throw you in the outside the village underground last week where she came in. Remember what she was saying that she was there

to meet a friend that worked at the VU and she mispronounced her name. And Keith pounced on her like I've never seen anybody of her. At least say the name right, bitch. You're not. Man. Man.

Man. Don't good. Oh, so funny. Keith is one of the meanest people out of them. KC use Selingo. Yeah, well, oh my god, he's saying better, yeah. KC Selingo. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

I don't mind that. That's a good name. KC James Selingo's too much. It's too much, all right. The guy that he's filled had a point. No, he was right. I guess. Yeah, yeah. He was right. It was a good name. KC James Cylingo's too much. It's too much, all right. The guy at Eastfield had a point. No, he was right. I guess. Yeah, he was a good note.

He was right. It was a good note. All right, I'm going to take his advice so I can get an air and get $15 a set. Mark O'Hade is Cylingo. KC James Cylingo, too much. Too much, sorry. I go KC James because you never know how cool you can be. I never know, yeah.

You never know. What if you're a movie star? Fuck, man. I couldn't have reached my apex. never know how cool you can be. I never know, yeah. You never know, you can be, what if you're a movie star? Fuck, man, I couldn't have reached my apex. If I was just Casey James, fuck. If you, yeah, you can be, I could be doing, I could be doing full penetration on the big screen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just, you put in cards back at the fucking home, oh, Depot.

That's so funny because they don't even have graders there, but he's like, he just keeps showing up. He bought a neighbor. Whatever. We're gonna let him say. He's gonna let the Scally cap in an neighbor. I don't know his name, they just call him two wrists. Damn it. Damn it. I don't know his name. They just call him too wrist

Laughing at you Toshi You want a pee? Yeah, go pee. Yeah, I'll do that weird shit. You're on camera I'm on camera. Yeah That's right behind Take a left in the hall Yeah, right. Yeah. Melingo. That's right. That's right behind you. Go to the hallway, you fucking pirato. Take a left in the hall. It's mad on you. He's gone. It's mad on you.

He's gone. Call it. Come on. What's up? What do you have this guy on? It's all galley. I met him tonight. I have no idea.

You met him tonight. Fuck, Salingo. I'm coming in. I'm putting up with this shit. I buddy. It's her. Blame her. I'm trying to get new blood fresh blood in here. Yeah, new whites. Fresh batch of whites. New white.

I mean, you got a point. I mean, I didn't. I'm doing white. You got to crush. You're batch of whites. Yeah, look at the old whites are getting old. You got to cut my hair short just to fit in. You like the gray hair though?

Yeah, I don't mind it. I mean, I died at once for a thing and it oxidized in a real weird way. So it was like gray, blonde, and brown. Really? Yeah, it was unacceptable. How old are you? 34. You're very young.

Is that Irish? Yeah, yeah. So it's just what you just black Irish just awful You're so medicine in you hair. I didn't want it. It was just weird. It was they just You're just super no no no hair is sick. It's a medicine As a kid told me a long time ago. I used to dye my goatee. It was the worst Because you're like how we from backstreet boys It was the worst. You're like how we from Backstreet Boys. What's my liner in to fill the gaps?

I used to die my go to. Oh, here it comes. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, You blood we have in here. That's right. I'm a pretty cool guy. Thank you. Very nice. I'm sorry I missed that. Wow, you can listen to it if you want. I'm sorry. I think I won't. I remember me and Keith were both dying her fucking heads. Just dipping it in sink.

Are you still dipping? Are you still dipping? Yeah. When I can. I remember once I gave up one night when I just got lazy and I did it and I just had black all around my mouth. Look like black face, half black face. Sorry, I keep thinking about keep applying his dye

like a cat cleaning. It's all the way there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can way there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I can't do much. Yeah. I can laugh at him much. Yeah. I'll probably throw him. And every bathroom at every hotel was always just black spots everywhere. I felt bad for the maid because the tiles, I fuck up the tiles.

I was always so bad for that bitch. So I kept telling the town, I got got. That's beautiful, you look good. Now I just shave everything. I shave it all down. Everything except that in-grown hair. Yeah, big. You're only 30, 40, and you left that. I'm sorry.

Seven the in-grown hair he studded through. Chris, here's the deal, we don't laugh, you don't. I don't wanna hear it. Thank. I don't want to hear it. I think goodness you don't do the thin thing anymore, because there are some overweight fellas that try to like, you know, dictate the brand of the face. What did you just call me? What the fuck did you just call me?

Oh, so long wait. The moment I'm overweight fellas. What the fuck was that? I called you a fella. We were talking about gray hair, not weight. Just cocksuck and combine two of my wings. The fact that you're a fella. What did you try to use on your hair? What?

I don't remember. I think whatever they have. Just remember? Yeah, my wife did it. And it came out good and it looked fine and it was passable for the project that I did. Your wife did it? Yeah, yeah. I had my wife one time. I it came out good and it looked fine and it was passable for the project that I did. You wife did it? Yeah, yeah.

I had my wife one time. I didn't have any medicine. So she told me to put eyeliner on my my goatee. And I put the black eyeliner on. But then I sweated and it kind of ran a little bit. I felt like such a fucking magician. I just felt terrible. I was in a town with this fuck to go to. You shaved all there. I shave it all. No, but a new sponsor of the podcast just jumped on board. And not this week, I think next week, they sent me this, I saw this commercial on TV. I think it was, it was on on TV, it was on Facebook. And they were like, hey, man, it was the guy. What's his name?

Terry Cruz. And he was like, The guy that got me, too. Did he? Oh, from the guy, yeah. Whatever. No, he me, yeah, he me too, someone else. Not the agent.

Didn't the, Terry Cruz got his balls going up. Yeah, look at my finger, both of you. Follow my finger. Stay right there. So no, he's Terry Cruz Fucking dumb millennials fucking squirrel He's dying for a topic Let's talk about this. It's topical. Terry. Who's got me to where are you gonna jump on that? I do

He he was not doing this thing. They obviously was like, yeah, man Don't nicky balls, no more. He did all this whole thing about shaving your nuts in the shower and no more blood because I've shaved my nuts with the razors and it looks like a murder scene. But this thing that come out with, I forget the name of it, it's a new sponsor of the show. Well, they didn't pay it till next week. So I will pay it next week, but Pubey.

No, not Pubey. Razors are good for when you want to hack an HPV ward off. That's pretty cool. He's a level factor. First of all, I was a little shaved. Not shaved. My shit real good. Hang on a second. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? I accidentally shaved a tag off once. A tag. A HPV ward? Yeah, yeah, but it wasn't fully done,

so I went to the dermatologist and he froze the rest. Yeah, I had to get a phrase. Holy shit, yo, what the fuck? Shit. Your dick looks like a tree trunk. Oh, I didn't, I don't have no- You're out of all. The kid of banging you've done in your life,

you've never caught anything. First of all, it's like a black guy having tattoos, you can barely see it. I got- He's the these tickets, freckles. It's like Morgan Freeman's face. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, a lumpy dick.

Come on, what do you got? No, I'll give you my stats through the year. All right. I got four committees. All right. What the fuck is committee? What is committee? Was that in the 70s? Four committees. What is a committee? Was that in the 70s? What's a committee?

You know, you know, I don't. I've never had a committee. You don't know. That's the drip, right? Everything's a drip. Four committees, two Gennies. Gennies. Gennies.

A Gong Girl. Two Gennies. Gannies. Gannies. Gannies. A gong girl. Two gannies and three crabs. Oh, a triple dabble. That's great man. That's what you did. That's good stuff. I've had double crabs. Double crabs.

I've had triple warts. Triple w crabs. Double crabs! I've had triple warts. Triple warts, double crabs. A figure skating move. I'm sorry, Tommy. I've never had any climped climmy. I never had any of that stuff. Never had any gummy. Never had no gummy.

No place to get the cypals. Nah. What'd you say? The cypals. You have cypals, though. What, you never had anything? Oh,. You have a cifle, so what, you live at anything? Cifles. This is what, 1960?

It's people, so get it. I don't know. Maybe I have it. You have have anything? No, I got tested a bunch. I got a pimple on my dick one time and I went out of guy look at it and it was this Polish doctor

and he just goes, it's a pimple. Stop, stop coming in here. It's a pimple. I said, say, make him do the test. Cause it's like, happened twice, but I just have a acne. How do you do it? You have acne on your deck? Well, I got one, where am I, Jake?

And then I got one first, but it was, I got a test of this, I don't know. The first mistake is going to a Polish stop. You're telling me, there are the only ones that are looking my deck. We stick to our own. But yeah, one time we got a people on my dick, but apparently it's just a pimple. Or I don't fucking know, I would have guessed I didn't wash.

Dracophadocan happen. Yeah, something was bad was going on, but they did all the tests. Dracophadocan, bacon grease. Mm-hmm. I wish I didn't ask. I wish I let that go under the dust. But yeah, no, I've had nothing. Nothing wish I let that go under the dust. But yeah, no, I've had nothing.

So nothing ever. How many girls have you been with though? 15. I know the exact number. I've been a lot of long-term relationship. Yeah. All right. Oh, that's good for you.

Thanks, all guys. My dick's been on so many tours of duty. And it feels good. How many tours of duty? That's a pretty hard time. He's dick freaks out of my old noises. I'm going to get the boards of duty. And it feels good. How many tours of duty? That's a pretty hard one. Keep the dick freaks out of loud noises. It's the 4th of July.

I got listed in 1981. I remember the day I went in. It was a RuPaul bush. This fat chick named the blouse and a friend Kathy. What's your name? I kept the blouse and a friend Kathy. What's your name? I kept the blouse. The blouse? Yeah.

I don't ruin the joke. Just don't regret nothing about it on your own later. That's like an asshole. What are you a regular person? What was the name? The blouse? Why? What's your stats?

Give me some stats. I just have HPV, which I think everybody has. No, that's baseline. I think so. What do you mean baseline? For both of us. But mostly people are dormant with it. Mine has popped up every once in a while during stressful situations. And I'll just get them

right off. What is it? I used to have no money, and this is fucking awful. Come on, throw it. Yeah, you will. I had no money. Dental floss. No, worse. I had no money, no health insurance. I used to rip it off with my hands with my nail, like just get in and tear off a fucking ward at the base of my deck. That's awesome. Yeah. Truly awful. I never had worse. No, I never. Thanks. He's for acting for normalizing my feet. I appreciate it. I'm not had war. No, I've never. Thanks Keith for acting for normalizing my feet.

I appreciate it. I'm not normalizing. But once you have it, you always have that. Yeah, yeah. And it comes up lasting cervical cancer inside my wife. Are you really? I'm not. I mean, it's been six weeks.

I've fucked it twice in seven years. She has nothing. She gets cervical. This is from another guy. From you. So you really, you just ripped your warts off. Yeah, yeah. Very nice.

Awful. What? What's your stats? HPV, baby. You've had a Milky Pops, Mayor. You better believe it. You had a protein shake in your pussy. Yeah.

Powdering. They call that muscle milk. All right. I think my, I feel like Mike's head something. What are you doing? Oh, I got it. I got it all. You got it all.

Super HPV. The Zass Hall. You get the wrong. Yeah, yeah. I've had my fun. So we all have this HPV. We all have all got HPV. Yeah, it says 80 estimated 80% of sexually we all have this HPV. We all have all got HPV. Yeah, it says, estimated 80% of sexually active people have never had an HPV.

You have it. You have it. You have it. I keep that so many on HPV. Yeah. He has HPV with a bunch of ease if he has. Yeah. He has the HPV we gave the Indians.

That's classic. HPV 1,000. Ah, Mike, do you have anything? Chris, you got anything? I don't believe that for a second. Really? Look at him. He has Zach Morris hair. He has everything.

Yeah, he looks like a dance boy from the 80s. Like, he'd always have roller skates on. Come up and fucking just sucking artists off in front of somebody. But he's not gay. He has a girlfriend at home that doesn't know. Just blowing any wall. Thank you, Chris. Thank you so much. I love your designs. He has a girlfriend at home that doesn't know. Just blowing any wall hall. Thank you, Chris.

Thank you so much. I love your designs. Everyone put one in my painting one. Yeah, that's weird, man. I feel bad that you had to do that, but now you just get em burnt off. Yeah, yeah. I told you, I said this on the podcast before,

you shouldn't get em burnt off. I talked to a doctor when I got I got a nugget taken off last year. Nugget. It just said General Troll warts. I called him a nugget. All right. I call him. He said HV. Yeah, HV Joe Troll warts a nugget. Yeah. H looks like a pop rock on his dog. It's two versions. Yeah. What? Huh? Huh? I mean, there is a lot of there are in man, especially because the only the only way it really affects us is if it comes out in a war. But mostly we're just outbreak monkeys that are giving it to women and they have to suffer what cancer. But I talked to the doctor who said he goes, he goes, we freeze them off now.

Oh, that's what I do. Yeah, because they used to burn them. And when they burn the warts off, the air, the smoke from the wart, whoever breathed that in would get the warts. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's not some witch doctors.

They're saying, you did facing the wall. I? Yeah. It's not some witch doctors. You're seeing it. Thank you. We're dead facing the next news. I'll call Dr. Steve now. They're taking a war shotty. I'll call Dr. Steve. Any doctor that you can get on phone now. I got a hot car.

I'll do it. Don't talk about that. I'll call Dr. Steve. I'll call Dr. Ward. I'm telling you right now, listen to me. Listen to me. Now call Dr. Steve. I'll call him right after this end fucking I have a smokey wart question

I gotta read this ad you guys if you found a hundred bucks in the street would you pick it up keep walking? If you found a hundred bucks in the street would you pick it up keep walking? I claim a warts Listen we'll stop this Mark that fucking time listen stupid stop it all right Stop it shut up. You don't do this on Amy's fucking podcast. I do what I want you know You got invited on the big guests. It's Steve Robbins What when they really have big guests. He doesn't choose what you want. That's fucked up. Are you kidding me? Wow When they really have big guests, he just let you on, that's fucked up.

Are you kidding me? Wow. Little snake. Ha ha ha. What? What the fuck is that? I do the read. What the fuck is that?

Oh, my God. What the fuck is going on? Well, we're going to get in trouble with the sponsor if we don't do the read read read. All right, check it out. If you found a hundred bucks on the street, would you pick it up, or would you keep walking? Of course you'd take the money. So why don't you keep picking up winning Oh, would you keep walking? Of course you take the money.

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That's a fact. These companies, they got a million of them, but this company is my company that I use when I place bets. I don't place a lot. I place a couple a year, but I have a friend's of mine, square friends that use my bookie and they're the best, okay? My friend Joe uses them. I have another friend of mine, Dougie uses them and my friend my friend, Paulie G. Usesmybookie.com.

They actually told me about my bookie before they became a sponsor in my show. I'm not a gambler, but look, if there's money on the table, I can win a hundred bucks here and there, and it's a no-brainer. Of course, I'm going to do it, and I've done it. I wouldn't be telling you guys to do this if it wasn't the best out there, okay? Do the smart thing. If you're going to bet this football season, bet with my bookie. That's all you have to do.

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Yeah, it's very nice. Mm-hmm. That's great. Thanks, guys. Thank you. They're a great company. I found out. Actually, you said to find $100.

I found a check earlier today for $155 made up to cash in the street. And you cash? I don't know what to do with it. Cash it. That's my- Can I get in trouble? for $155 made up to cash in the street. And you cash. I don't know what to do with it. Cash it. Can I get in trouble? Do you know, can I get in trouble for cash again? No.

Can they, they can't raise the back to me? No. Okay, I'm doing it. I'm cash it. No, I don't know. They need, first of all, they need cameras everywhere to see you like in the place, in the bank, all over the streets. They need cameras all over to see you who you were

and when you cast it with time you cast it. It's not like they have cameras everywhere. It's not like it's 2019 and they have cameras every, yes, Tommy, they'll catch you. What if I go to one of those check cashing plates? They won't catch me? I don't know what's going on. It's okay for you to catch me, right? It's fine, right?

It's probably already been spiked. Yeah, that's what I figured, Ben's here. Shout out to Keith. Shout out to Keith. That's terrible already been spiked. Yeah, that's why figure best. He's got a check for 100 of yourself for 15 bucks. You want it? No, no, I don't know. What are you doing? Get off the phone. I want to talk about why Amy doesn't allow you on the podcast with big guess information. Is that true? That's not just allow them. You're not on those big ones. That's the ones I wanted to see you on. What big one? I'm the big yes.

They don't mean on those. I want you to talk to John Kerry. John Kerry. John Kerry. Who was on Jim Kerry? No, John Kerry. John Kerry. John Kerry was on.

The Democratic presidential nominee guy that was trying to run for the president and they didn't have you on. I wonder why. I wonder why I Wonder why I got it Yeah, but Bill Murray is on it. We have wasn't there in time. You weren't there in time. Yeah, or you will late for Bill Murray No Bill Murray just decided to come at the drop of the dime I mean like I'm coming I'm coming over now and and you weren't there so that's what they told you No, that's what I have. Really?

Yeah. So that's what they told you. Keith. I mean, I'm so excited. Bridget, Bridget and Rachel right here. Bridget wasn't there. Oh, really? Rachel wasn't there.

Really? Who was there? Rachel's in the car with me that kept working out. Where's the studio? The driver that he got me and I'd start driving around all over the place. I wouldn't trust Kevin's drivers. Jesus Christ.

He really, that's, that's, oh man. How scary was that? Were you nervous when that happened? Were you shocked? I shot, yeah. Yeah, I was shocked, but he's, he's okay. He's going to walk again, right? Yeah.

Yeah. And what happened to him? I don't know the details. I heard it was a fucking talk about. Did you see the car? I was a little shit over to see the car. Yeah, the whole roof was ripped off. Shit. And it looked awful.

Well, you're not gonna talk about what? I'm not gonna talk about what happened to him over the fucking radio. Fucking asshole. No, you don't have to tell us what really happened, what you know secretly. I'm talking about what happened to him in the, in the, what we know, what they gave the press.

What we know is his inspirational quotes post hospital are going to be unbearable. You know, I can do this. Yeah, awful. If I can do it, have a heart. Just him doing dips and shaking and just being like, I'm going to be back on top. And the rock behind the go-kevon. Just holding Kevin around his neck and the eye and paradise and one of his chains doing dips with Kevin on his neck.

And somebody said they should do a movie where Brian Cranston pushes him around. Oh, my God. Oh, the jokes are already. Yeah, of course they were. We're fucking comics, motherfucker. Oh, the jokes are already. Yeah, of course there were fucking comics, motherfucker. Well, I'm glad he's gonna be all right, because your gravy chain was about to end. I'm kidding, dude. Relax.

The fuck you know, man. Shut up, man. I'm joking. What the fuck, dude? You know, you should co-tales. You got co-tales, man. You got the best co-tales. Oh, fuck you, dude.ales man. You got the best co-tales. Oh fuck you do you had dain for long

Name my co-tales. They're all dead Co-tales wander so fat When you have a good one you have a good one now All right, shit. I know have known you have a good one. Shut up, let him finish laughing. Yeah, yeah, well, you're absolutely right. Oh, yeah, that's good. You still laughing.

Okay, okay, okay. Gabby, you still laughing on. He's a Christ. That doesn't get hurt. I picture me ripping Danes co-cales. There was shiny. I had a su-fight in my hand. We all talk about who you have the best co-tails in the business.

We all try to get co-tails. We all try to get callin'. Those co-tails, fuck it, fell the dust in our hands. He's the only one he got. He's got Wanda, you got Kevin, and you got Amy. God damn it. You're not a pick him. I didn't choose down.

Why did you say? They chose me. Are you writing a book? Sound real good. Sound a little poetic. Are you writing a book? Sound real good. Sound real poetic. Pakeeth is also very smart where he mentors a lot of young comics in hopes that they become something.

Yeah, I meant to do a playlist. You plant seeds. I got it. I meant to do a list in Dan Soda and Lewis Gomez. And they also thanks. See you later. Yeah, see you later. He stepped right on my fat chest on the way out of here.

Fucking radio show. his own network. Fucking Joe Lisk got married and is a Louise boy now. Fucking cock suckers. Yeah, you really, you really do cultivate young talent. Yeah. My free scene. My free scene of talent. You're seeing him, you're seeing him molested little kids.

What? Yeah, what? Of course. What? Of course. Have you been drinking? No, I haven't. No. What's wrong with you? I don't drink no more.

You quit drinking? I'm 34 years old, but today, buddy. 34 years today. Wow, that's really... Are you gonna fuck with me on that? Well, you can't even give me that. I'm just saying that. I truly, in all sincerity,'t even give me that. I'm just saying I truly in all sincerity.

Don't give a shit. Can we go back to picking on this Hucklebee? No, no, this is fun. You guys get into it. I'll go pee again if you want to Hucklebee. I'll go pee again if you want to Hucklebee. Hucklebee. Maybe she's that name. All right, I'll see James Hucklebee. Hucklebee. Maybe she's that name.

All right. Casey James Hucklebee. It's straight to the top. Grab my cut, Dale's boys. I'm a Hucklebee drink. Yeah, well, he is all right, which is great, because I would not want to fucking deal with that. Because Cav is, he is a motivational guy. He's, he's done a lot.

He's really fucking, you know, and he's done a, you know, it's good to see one of us get there. No, no, no, he's not one of you. What? He's black. He's black. I was saying one of us. We're all hanging out back in the day, in the day though. You're a fuck. He's not one of you

But the fuck you're claiming him as a as black man. Oh, this is identity politics What You heard me this you heard me. This is what you, this is what you guys do. I'm not an even father. I'm not an even father. I'm not an even father. I'm not an even father. I'm not an even father. Yeah, I'm so glad he's healthy.

But I heard, this is what I heard, is that he is driver, stepped on a gas, the car went out of control, because it's a fucking muscle car on those things. You can't be key. Huh? Very good. I bet it was rear view, rear wheel drive to they lose control really easily and he shot through the embankment, shot through the thing and went down embankment. Right? That's fucking. What do you Marissa Tomay and fucking I read TMZ quite a bit. It's is plazzy traction. He cares. My cousin, Jenny, shut up. It's impossible. I heard they have very substantial power in the back of the car.

I, uh, got you so hot she was. She still is. It's incredible. She still is. It's a wrestler. Isn't she playing Pete's mom and his movie? In Spider-Man. No, it's, it's, she's not me's she's not me. She's still smoking hot. You know, I was just still smoking hot and they tried to make her look ugly in

Justice League. You are Superman's mom. Who's that? Oh, Diane Lane. Diane Lane. Oh my god. Diane Lane has been fucking smoking since the outside of her. For no. You have a seer in the fucking the affair. Yes. Oh, that doggy style. A doggy style in the hallway is one of the others. I love to ask. I can't hear you. I asked his flat. I thought you, I know her you.

I didn't hear what I wanted to hear. I don't know. A die in lane. That's appealing for us with minimal reach. I know you can go through thickets with your dick. You need a fat ass just to make you dick have a challenge. My wife has an ass like a 13 year old white boy. Do they have the show that I have seen?

Can we show the fuck that you've seen? The fuck warning. The fuck in warning. There you go. There's the fucking Pittsburgh in yet. I was check off in a garage, but I'm sorry. That's a good center. Did they have it?

What's the scene, Michael? What? The one where she tries to get away from them in the hallway and he bends her over a bench and fucks her. Oh, is it called the affair? Is it called the affair? It's called the affair. Right?

No, that's the TV show. It's called, what's it called? I'm faithful. I'm faithful. Yeah. I'm so bad. Here we go. Bad to get in there. Cheats on Richard gear. Who puts, who puts, who puts you over the banister? Some, some French guy. Oh, the French guy. Yeah. I believe it's a Latino of some kind. And it's something some Latino French. Look at her in the tub. She's so pretty. She's very pretty. I let's not do this.

Gabby's here. Gabby's taping us all watching porn again. This is, I'm sending this to the police. I feel, you gotta look at videos. Mike, you never search porn on the internet. No, I'm Jack DeFi women. And I am filled to the brim right now. I've been at my mother-in-law's for the last like months.

Are you talking about comedy? Yeah, yeah. All right, listen. Hannah, come in. I don't want to hear about this. You don't fucking percolate it with coffee in it. You don't jerk off in your mother-in-laws? I mean, I've done it a few times in the shower just for maintenance, but for the most part with the kid with everything, you know,

it's like, hey, Jesse James, tough one. I asked the question, sorry. Jesse James, ask him. You don't jerk off in your mother-in-law? That's a hell of a question, Bob. Thank you. I also have trouble doing it standing. Why?

I don't know. Can't spread my toesies or flex my hips. I have any toesies. That way. There's issues on the phone. Okay. Is that him? I can't tell.

Is that what's his name? Gerard Depertise. Is it Gerard? No, that's um, the guy. Yeah, Vigo more and more. Vigo, he's hot. I love him. He's cool. Oh, geez. We're not showing this right? I mean, you can't show this right?

Showing up on it. What? You can't show it. Okay. I let's see it. All right, I can't watch this because now I'm getting Hornet or I'll get a hornet. Give me weird. He's gonna bonding. I'm gonna go have to rip're all getting horny. It's gonna be weird. He's gonna bonding. Yeah. I'm gonna go have to rip the warts off my deck and I'll be fucked up my wife. Because I didn't make fucking insurance with SAG.

Because I'm too tubby. Shucks. I just paused it, dude. Can you get it off? I could just hear like sex noises in my ears. And Bobby's just being breathing heavy. How is that? Is that you breathing? No, I'm making a joke right there.

I'm sorry. Well, it's very could be true. All right, I get that. Get the hell out of here. Are you getting out of here? Take your Tushy. No. That's you, baby.

Oh, I mean, Tushy, okay. Yeah, take your Tushy. Need help with it carrying it down the stairs? No, fuck that, is it, every? No. No. It's very light. And then I'm going to come need help with it carrying it down the stairs. No, fuck that. Is it every? No, it's very light. And then I'm going to come over here and install it. I'm going to install it. No, you're not.

Tonight. Listen, here's a deal. I'm going to put my two-sheet on myself. I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to put my two-sheet on. I want to come over and install it, please. Listen, because I know you're going to want to up giving it to one of your fucking aunts Yeah, you're gonna wind up going hey you want that to she and some aunts about I'll take it and I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna use you as my aunts own I'll take it

And I can have a whole conversation with you. Yeah, baby Listen, let me ask you a quick you get that to she where'd you get that? I was looking at that on Facebook and I was going to get one. Where'd you get that? Is that, how much is it expensive? Are you just doing the Popeye's woman voice? I do try my new sandwich. Buddy, that's for you.

I don't want you giving that away to somebody. If you're not going to use it, I'll code it. If you you're not gonna use it, I'll code it. If you're not gonna use it, I'll code it. I don't want to do it, my touche. Listen, it's not a touche, he's mine. If you're not gonna use it, I'll take it. His body has choice. Are you gonna put it on?

I'll come over and put it on for you. I know how to put it on. How do you put it on? Take the tallest seat off. I'll put it on. You're such a fucking seed. This is a little snowflake, fucking fucking fucking soccer. A grass of gift exchange, everything.

You're gonna face like, oh, this beautiful gift. What you gonna do with your touche? I'm not taking it, motherfucker. You're fucking taking it. I'm glad you guys are friends. Are you gonna take it? I'm taking a touche. You promise?

Are you gonna put it on? Yes! a Tushi. You promise? Are you gonna put it on? Yes. You're gonna show me video of it on. I'm gonna put, I'm gonna video take the whole sequence. Send it before or after of your asshole, just for proof. Yeah. Keep it on Tushi. I really want you to have this on.

I'm gonna send you my draws. What a Tushi. Kee's gonna go back to white underwear after the Tushy. I finally get to wear Tady White is again. Thank you, Tushy. I had to wear brown underwear for the longest time. I know, I'm definitely getting in Tushy. I think everybody should get to Tushy.

There you go. That's what I'm talking about. I keep the money. Beautiful benefits. Oh, that just infuriates. Stop, dammit. Stop, look, that fucking makes me out. Who wrote that? Don't read it. Don't read it. Beautiful benefits. But whoever wrote that. It's for Halloween. Yeah, but that at least

sold it to like 15 wife. How about the front? They're like, oh, it's so kitschy. On the front, it's made for you. It says booty cleaner. I'm sweating out on the front. That's what it says. Booty cleaner. I was on Waivenium butt, start washing with a douchey. Yeah. On the side here, Suzanne said, yeah, I'm pretty sure you can eat off my butthole.

That's a real quote, right, sir. No, sir. You can print that and sell it in a store. Let's hope you can. You can't, where can you sell it? That's why I love this company. That's crazy. All these companies now, like the Razer company that jumped on, TUSHI, they're like,

you know what, fuck it. Let's be funny. That's what gives a shit. Your asshole's dirty. Now you can eat asshole again because, you know, you cleaned it with the TUSHI. Did you ever worry about a TUSHI? I worry about this. Buddy, yes.

That was my thing back in the day. You know that. Right, but you ate a lot of Tushies. No, I got my Tushy eating. That was my thing. I can't believe you. I used to like that a lot. You know that.

I used to have the bartender downstairs do it. You can't say this on this part. Why not? Why not? It was 26 years ago. 20 something years ago. You were in a position of power. You were one of the acts.

I've never been in the position. I can literally stick my fingers and gabbier right now. She wouldn't be able to do anything. Nothing could happen to my career. She'd be like, Robert Kelly, they'd be like, what am I gonna do? It's not worth it. Bobby would have ankles up to his ears

as not a position of power. So it's just gonna say, how dare you? I wouldn't do that. I'd be like my sister. My little sister that steals shit from me. Oh my God, what'd she say about that? She's still fucking everything. Popular forms up categories right now. that's still shit for me. Oh, my God. That's the most popular form. She's still fucking everything.

She's still fucking everything. I'm still wearing subcategory right now. Oh, no. Mm-hmm. I can't believe you just said, shut up. Just take a joke. What are you, what are you, an actress?

Are you a comedian? Oh, actress. No, you're not. Everything. No, you're not. You're everything. She's a singer. I hate her.

She's a producer. I'm a touche. And the dancer. Caff. Caff, me Keith. Caff. I'm so tired of coming off. I'm so. She's a producer. I'm a tooshi dancer. Kath. Kath, me Keith. Kath. I'm so tired of coming off. Me and Keith are the tithiest people in this party. I can't.

Okay. All right, Keith, what do you got, buddy? Keith's going to wash his face with the tooshie. He's going to start on his sink. He's going to use it to get water. No, October 15th, three girls won Keith's back up, baby boy. What is that? Yeah.

Three girls won Keith, the podcast. There's a key for Keith. One Keith. I hate that character. Only one Keith. Yeah, what are they gonna realize that you're a piece of shh? Or they were real. I was like, there's the object. Carbitch. Yeah, what are they gonna realize that you're a piece of Are they real?

Really just they have the enemy is in the room. That's right. Yeah, they don't know you have everybody give it get their stats, please Have your fans give their stats. What do you mean? Hey, well, I wanted to know some stats Stats of what? SDD's oh stats you want stats. Okay. Good.? STDs. STDs. Oh, stats. You want stats. Okay. Good. So you can write in on stats.

You can, you want Twitter on your Instagram. Let's get your Instagram going. I don't want to get it going. What's your Twitter? My Twitter is one key through Robinson. One key through Robinson at one key through Robinson. That one key through Robinson. And key through Robinson 438.

Some Russian bitch stole my first one. I said that some Russian bitch stole my first one. Will you banging her? No. How'd she take it? Oh, no. You're so stupid. How would you not verify it though?

It requires two hands. Easy. Oh, wait, man. What the heck? What the heck? What the heck? What the heck? You can't't call a Mexican like that. I can't call them a fucking Mexican.

I do it again, do it again. I can call them man, I can call them man. They're rapists and somehow good people. So that's it. Yeah, all right. So there you go. Two girls in a Keith. Three girls, one key.

One rich girl, two mediocre girls and a fucking black dude. No, man, say right. All right, Keith girls in one cup. Three girls, one key. Three girls, one key, three of my friends, three of my friends, and one of and Keith. And Michael, you have something special. You have a camera guy here, filming. Yeah, I mean, I have no release date for it yet, but let's not get carried away. Just fucking tell us release date for it yet, but uh, let's not get carried away. Just fucking tell us release date for what?

For I'm, I'm just filming a thing where I'm going to come out with a, I'm doing another album and I'm going to do a visual pro element to it and release it on, on YouTube and it's going to feature a lot of my heroes. Keith, I'd love to get you on actually. I'm in. All right. He's already out there. I'm sorry. I don't know. I just got to call any of us a hero and we're're yeah, what do you need?

Yeah, but we'll wake up early. I'll come in. Well, it is honestly a tip of the cap tool out of the guys that got me. Say tip of the caddy. I'm going to hit you with his two sheet. Fucking asshole. Hey guys, I just want to. Hey, and I'll see you later, buddy. Bye, Robert says. I want Travis. That's nice meeting you. I want a video of that too, she going up.

But yeah, I mean, it's not a, it's not for public consumption just yet, but the idea is something. What are your comedy? Yeah. Man. That was hilarious. What is it, though? Just tell us what do you stop giving excuses and tell us what it is.

You want me to give the entire premise of the thing? Well, just a little bit of it. You give why is your camera guy here? Why are you here tonight? Well, I'm going to be interviewing you after the show as a brief thing because I don't know. I don't know if I want to give the premise away. I don't.

Yeah, the premise is basically about me getting into the comedy seller and what a big deal it is for me to be performing alongside guys like you, Keith, Norton, Colin, you know, Voss, Bonnie, everybody, all the guys that I grew up, you know, KC. You worked at comedy selling? Yeah, it's started. He's hilarious. He does? Yeah.

When did you start? Like a month ago, a month or two. Cool. We'll put it into that Pretty sure it's a live track. I'm whispering it to STC See that guy bomb there. I can't believe he said dirty Muslim I mean, let it just actually wouldn't deer him death It's my closer All right, cool. All right. What else you got that Mike? I'm on the road a shitload a September 20th. I'm doing two shows at the Philly punchline headlining Mr

Michael Fini one of your favorite human beings is gonna be there with me Guys co-headlining or is he mittling for you? He's mittling. Oh, he had a fucking bump back down, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know, he's yeah, he's a great comic in his own right You have his knife. I have his knife for sure great comment sticking it in his own right. You have his knife. I have his knife for sure. Great comics sticking it in his back right now. But no, he's, you know, it's one of those things where he wants to get into the club. So of course, he's going to. What is September 20th? What day is that? That is a Friday. So Friday and Saturday. I'm doing no, just one night. Two showers. Yeah. And then I'm going to be in Fairfield, Connecticut after that on the 28th and Chicago. I'm headlining Zane's downtown

Which I'm really excited for the fifth six Fini's going to be there with me as well And then on the seventh we're doing a live Irish goodbye podcast. All right good man. Great. All my dates my cannon comedy dot com There you go buddy. Good having you on. Thanks so much for having me. Good seeing you live pod so fucking fun dude Skankfest I haven't been on since since then. Those are the fun. Is that where is that fun? It's on YouTube for the parts you can't see. And Patreon. And if you want to go to Patreon right now, you know, I know people do consistently, oh, we do an extra podcast. What I do for you guys, I film, I do content. And then I

put stuff up that you can't get like I do the life in the Sheds. Billy Burrows up there right now, it's fucking amazing. One of my favorites I do. But we've done Colin Quinn, Bennington, Vos, Keith is on it. We've done so many of these life in the Sheds and it's an awesome show. There's something that happens in my shed where you just kind of chill and hang because there's no crew. There's nobody there. You know, so it's just you want to yapping.

And you just found that awesome one this last weekend. I just did an awesome one last weekend with who's making that fucking noise? I think it's my heart. That, I think it's my heart. I think it's you, isn't it? It's someone's share. Not me. Yeah, it's like a chair noise. I don't know where it's going. Who's fucking noise is that?

It's where's the bottom of the side? I keep paying them out. Somebody find out who that is. Is that you? I'm a hell, I blew my breath all the time. It's you. Oh, sorry. It's loose floorboards. Hang on. Stop. Stop moving. Who is that? I'm not moving.

Is there a ghost in here? It is weird. Here with your headphones off. What is that, Zach? I think it's just the gate picking up the AC that comes in. But it's not in the audio version. I don't like it. I don't want it. I don't want it.

What is that? It's a weird noise. Maybe it's phones work different. Why would you have this in my podcast? Was that what it was? It's still happening. What? This is the love part of Hadoop.

I listen, I want hang on. Sorry. Mike, leave the room. Okay. We're just gonna find a who this is. Leave the room, Mike. Oh my God, it's still happening to mischievous. I want you to leave the room. All right. I'm waiting for you to say that.. Oh my god, it's still happening to miss your companions. I'm so

sorry. I want you to leave the room. All right. I'm waiting for you to say that. Go with my name. I got a bathroom. Go in the bathroom. It's Mike. All person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person.

I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. I'm not going to be a person. What is that?

Stop it! What the fuck? Anyways, Patreon. Yeah, you guys come back. He didn't have to leave. It wasn't you. I just want to see you guys would suck each other off on the bathroom real quick.

I'm thinking about it. Patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly. Go up there right now. We have the skanks, the full one, the whole blood job competition. If you want to see something funny, I don't know why it's funny, but straight guys blowing other guys. Indigate. And one gay, that was fascinating. He was incredible, Roshan. She's fucking beautiful. How it goes for Larius, the gay guy was hot.

God, what? What? I don't know, Pete Pete, that hobo up top, he really gave it his all. All of them had really good technique, a shocking amount of straight men in giant quotes, truly know how to suck it. Jesus, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I just, I was so in, I wanted them to win. I won't let them. I was into it. And then also you crowd surfing on the other side. Crowd surfing, everything's there. Patreon.com, says Robert Kelly. Please go to Comedy Cell. I'm going to Comedy Cell of Vegas.

I'm there Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Ooh. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and then Thursday, I'm taping the degenerates, Netflix show, Miss Pat, Jim Norton just got added. No shit. Jim Norton, Miss Pat, Adrian Appaluchi, Nikki Glazer, Donnell Rollins. What a killer fucking lineup, holy shit. Yeah.

Tim Dylan turned it down. Turn it down. Why? Yeah. I just didn't want to do it. And I respect him. No, he's, he's, we talked about. He's, he's fucking told us yet. I like, I love Tim. So anyways, that's what we're doing. It'd be his comedy cell of Vegas. Lathable.com. Go there. If you love podcasting, go to laughable.com, download their app. Do we still have to do this? You let us know. Well, can we contact him? Does he still want us to do this? I mean, it is a great app, but I don't know if we don't get anything from him anymore, right?

Contact him. Find out if he's alive. And if the comp is the app still there. Yeah, the app still there. Yeah, I mean, I love the app But I don't want to keep yapping if if this company's just Shat the bed. He was here earlier this year gave a socks. Oh Yeah, this year when it was cold out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be cold out again. Exactly. Yeah, that's the long time You're people, the apocalyptic people, the long time. Son come down, must sacrifice.

Anyways, we gotta remember to be happy. For all my merch is up there, remember to be happy. I gotta get somebody a shirt, a friend of mine wants a YKWD3X. Can we get him one? Yeah, can you get that for me soon? If I give you an address, will you mail it to them? Well, maybe next I won't be here for two weeks. Shit. I should have called you earlier, Chrissy. All right, we'll figure it out.

I'll talk to you about it. Anyways, there you go. Look at those beautiful shirts hoodies. Everything's up there. The new Buddha with the glasses is up there. We got there you go boom Buddha Bobby. Buddha dude is up there. It's beautiful shirt. I love that shirt. Everybody compa's been that shirt I was worried at like some Chinese restaurant and I feel bad. I'm gonna go this one Propreation. It's like going Jesus the fat Jesus Just me eating getting stuff on the shirt. Um stop roast. Yeah, so there you go. And of course creeps for kids is is happening creeps with kids. Go to the website get your tickets. It's going down me Bennington, Voss, quarantine.

We have I mean, look at these dates. We scroll back up your fuck face. Starts October. Redding, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, PA, Huntington, New York, Boston, mass, Red Bank, New Jersey, Staten Island, New York, Eastern Pennsylvania. Awesome. Is that, are you fucking with me, somebody? What? No, I'm getting more dates. No, I heard the noise. It's a full ghost in here. It's like a ghost.

Full ghost. I want to we have to after the show, we have to find out what it is. I'm doing anyways, they're all up there. It's going down Boston's almost sold out Chicago almost sold out Huntington's almost sold out. Get your tickets now. Creeps with kids.com. Get your girl, get on this, get your friends. This is going to be the comedy show of the mother fucking century. Bannington, Voss, me, Florentine, four killers. It's going to be crazy and it's $30 a ticket. You're not going to find a cheaper show. It's just not going to happen.

It doesn't exist with four murderers, 30 bucks. Let's see. The cheapest show you'll find. Um, anyways, what do you got my friend? I find me at Casey J. Selingo. I'm on a platform. We'll change in that. Right? I was just called good by Malango. I got a podcast called the Good, the Dad and the Ugly. I'm touring. You see Dad or a good, the dad and the ugly. What's the dad part? We just call our buddy dad. He's like a father like figure.

And then I'm the good because I'm a nice guy and our friend pad is ugly. What happens when you become a father? And that dad guy, he's got become better than I guess. He's got become a better man. I'm fucking, it's a dumb fucking name, but it's a good podcast. You guys have a lot of dumb names. It's kind of my thing. I wouldn't like that. Okay. I'm gonna it's a dumb fucking name, but it's a good podcast. You guys have a lot of dumb names. It's kind of my thing. I wouldn't like that.

Okay, I'm gonna give it. Okay. I'm touring Florida. You can see the dates there. On my Instagram check it out. It's about it. Yeah, I mean, I'm pleasantly surprised. I was kind of mad at gap.

I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. I mean, you know, I get thatantly surprised. I was kind of mad at Gabb. Like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. I mean, you know, I get that a lot. I was like, I don't know this fucking dude, Gabb. I was trying to get new blood. I'm like, yeah, can we have funny blood? I mean, I don't. Pure Aryan blood.

Pure as a dream. I mean, no, I like Gabb about it. How do you feel now? I feel better. Better, not great, but better. No, I mean, you know, it was great You were great. Hey, thanks. You weren't like Keith funny. No, of course not of course not You are Mike, but my expectations are funny. Well, the good part of that brought my expectations down so long Oh, yeah, that you you fucking skyrocketed baby. This is great

This is like talking my dad. Yeah, you can you can take a hit. Yeah, it took a nice pounding for me and Keith. I fucking love it. Yeah, you weren't a fucking pushwack about it. I'm not a pushwack. No, you're not. You can all take me out back and beat the shit out of me. Put it on the Patreon. But no, it was good having you on.

Thank you. Appreciate it. I mean, not a reg. I mean, that's all I mean, it was one time. Yeah, some of the plug. No, you can come back. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, if like we, not a reg. I mean, it's not a reg. No, I mean, it has one time. It has some of the plug. No, you can come back. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, if like, if like, somebody does a show,

you live around here. I live in Bushwick, but I'm around here a lot. Since I'm doing the sellover. No, it was great. It was great having you on. I'm glad you had a congratulations on the sellout. Check his moon landing bit. I'm not watching this.

I'm not watching this. I'm pretty good. You think I'm a fan? I mean, he did good. Okay. I didn't do a career. Keith was a murderer. I was more for the pop-up. It was if a Keith was be a mediocre show. It I mean, he did good. Okay. I didn't do a favor. He was a murderer. I was more for the puppet.

For those of a Keith, it's me, a mediocre show. It's true, it's true. I invited the black guy up to spice things up. I love how you think you're the only one listening. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're very good dude. Thank you.

What do you got, buddy? I'm at Mike Abrucci on all social media. I got a podcast called A Little Time. And yeah, I don't know. I'm doing stand up. I don't know. When are you guys gonna give this podcast stuff up? I don't know.

When are we supposed to? Are you talking to you for me? I'm talking to yourself. I'm talking to all you guys. What are you guys gonna realize is not gonna work? Probably pretty soon. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Thanks a couple of weeks. I'm riding into the fucking ground. How many people listen to your podcast? Fucking 15 more than yours. That's not true. I'm glad into the fucking ground. How many people listen to your podcast? Fucking 15 more than yours. That's not true. I don't know. No, that's not true.

Stop acting like we were like, what? Yeah. Wait a minute. What am I doing? I'm Mike, you have to get on his social media. I just don't want you to hit me when the cameras are off like usual. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I don't mean to embarrass you. I'm just saying I want you to focus more on this show. No, no. I can't wait to quit my podcast to type on the computer. What else you got, Mikey? Uh, that's it. I do stand up around, but I don't know how to host a show.

So find me, I guess. I don't know. I posted online. So elusive. Find. I don't know. I posted online. So elusive. Find me to stand up around. He does your show all the time, right? The fat black show. Yeah. What do you mean?

He's so damn funny. Yeah. I'm just co-signing, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. great. Okay. What do you think? Great is. I think, first of all, I think Billy Burr is great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And are they close to them? Yes. They're like a hair under the hood. I hate you.

I hope his camera breaks. I just runs out of space. Yeah, I hope his camera breaks and he doesn't have enough money to get another one. Everything's shot on an iPhone. Seven. Gabs, what do you got besides fucking hippie jeans? Okay. I host a show, first ones of every month, at the way station, Brooklyn called Jiggy with it.

Follow me on Instagram, Akebi is Brian. I have a podcast called Unabashed podcast on iTunes and Spotify. All right, cool. Yeah, that's it. Thank you for my ropeback. You're welcome. And thank you for my quick release. Quick release. Thank you for letting me borrow your text.

I'll break you around my paws. That was me. Who did that? I don't know. But also, it sounded very sexual. Thank you for my quick release. I was trying to pause. Yeah, that's it.

So are you good? Yeah. Chris, what do you get? I get immense fashion podcasts. I'm not gonna talk to you. I'm not gonna talk to you. What a clear, you can't. So, I'm gonna check it out.

You're skinny and have all you hair. This right? Yup, and then I make Bobby's merch in a couple of other people so you can hit me up if you want me to design you something but not that Cheney C-e-n-e-y. It's unbelievable designer. Yeah. Really, he fucking, really great.

That was the ferragamo level. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whoey. That was like, you were right at the end, too. That's what I love doing the credits at the end. I always slow, people think that the show's over when I start doing this stuff.

But the best part of this show to me is this, because always someone gets a nice hot one in, right before about to hang up. Look at Mike just waiting, like a little puppy first treat. You feel bad for Mike? Yeah. I love Mike. Okay.

More than any of you. That's a lie. That's true. More than you. Is that a lie? Oh my God. What? You didn't love me more.

I'd be gone. What are you working? You work on your acting ability? Yes. Wait, wait. I love Mike more than you. Hey, one more time. I love Mike way more than you. I like that.

Jalen. That was chilling. Is this the same thing? It's true. He did not. Are we going to have the podcast up from now on sellers? This podcast that you're on Patreon, you can have it available on Thursdays. Right Sundays for every every other regular people. Zach? Yes.

All right, you guys know the deal. Zach, what do you got? Did I? I'm sorry, stop, stop, stop. I'm sorry, stop, stop, stop, do it. But that's fine. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm just fucking.

Zach, do you have a sound cloud? No, shut up. Yeah. Mike, shut up. No, don't thumbs up him. My producer has to work. It doesn't need you fucking asking fucking personal questions. He's a phenomenal rapper.

Shut up. We know that. Zach, will you put one of your wraps up in front of the set, at the end of this episode? Yeah. Our Zach will put his wrap up at the end of this episode and you can see he, he or his wraps there. He, he, it's weird how good he is.

It makes me sick. He's really good. It's really good wraps. I He, it's weird how good he is. It makes me sick. He's really good. It's really good wraps. I mean, it's really good music. I'm not gonna go wraps. It's good music. Mike, what do you have besides a fairly recipe? Yeah.

You look like a fucking hornet hive. Hornet hive? I think it was more like a stung by much hornets. No, your face looks like a big hornet. Your face looks like it's be hanging a tree and having bugs going anonymous Please pick it up look wait pick it up pick it up. They go the one the first one. They go the first one Come on now Like a face. I know

That's what I'm saying Mike has a podcast called I can't can't wait for this to be over You know that I'll say it Everybody listens all my fans wait to the end. Oh, no. Yeah, they all listen Fucking pussy tomorrow. Are you a generation? Yeah, you don't cock shut up pussy. Tomorrow you're a generation, you fucking care. You don't cock shit up. Pussy, yeah. What? Oh, son. You are a cock.

You, Fini, but you know who's the biggest cock? Oh, sagalo. Oh, he's a cock extra. Oh, he is. He is cliff cock stubble. I hope he keeps his knife. I hope he keeps his knife. I'm totally keeping it.

I'm keeping Fini's too. Are you really keeping both of his knives? I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday.

I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday.

I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my son on his 11th birthday. I'm gonna give it to my. I think you're going to do. Mike, what are you up, buddy? I have you listening live this weekend, be in San Antonio at left out loud, featuring for Julian McCullough. You can follow me on Instagram at Mike V. Suarez. I'm supposed to be at stress factory with you, according to Vinny, and next month, whenever you're there.

Are you coming? Yeah, cool. You told me last time to come with you. I'm cool, so. Am I hosting that? I don't know, are you? I think I am. All right, cool.

There you go. Yeah, YKWD. I'm really busy that week and I actually is your home. What do you want to do a spot? Yeah, sure. I don't know if it's going to happen, but I'll try. Thank you.

Yeah, I have to do my job. How are you going to fit them and Vinny doing 50 uptime? Yeah. If Vinny does 50, I'll do 30 in walkoff. That's what I mean, whatever, right? I don't, I don't even fucking deal with it in my head anymore. I just, I just, I just, I'm sorry. No, it is. It's just a weird thing for fucking over 15 years.

He's been doing that to comics that we love him. We're like, we're like his friends. And he just goes on and just says, fuck you, it's my club. And it's like, don't do that. You go through the whole gamut of fuck, why would you do it? Can you not do that?

Hey man, I didn't let, what the fuck, why would you, don't fucking do that? Tell him not to do that. Now it's like, dude, I don't care. I don't do whatever you, it doesn't affect me. I don't give a fuck. I'm going up, I'm doing this. And if it does affect me, I'll just not come.

I'll just not show up. Yeah, because I don't fucking, I don't need the money anymore. Like I used to need the money. That sounds great. Well, no, I do need it. Don't get me wrong. I'm working there because I need it. But it's nothing is worth my fucking peace of mind anymore.

So if I have fun at a club, I'll go. If I don't, I'll just work somewhere else. I'll just go fucking, there's plenty of guys that have one nighters in Jersey, I can go do and do a door deal and make the same money, you know? True. So it doesn't matter. But last time we did the club, it was actually,

he was great and the club was great in Bridgeport. Yeah, Bridgeport. It was awesome. It was a great weekend and the manager there's great. He's a real good guy, takes care of you. Yeah. So, okay. Sam Hunter, he was awesome.

And you're friends with, you have parents or friends with Vin. Yeah. All right, so you already set that up, right? Yeah. All right, good. So you guys were all set. I choose just texting him. So, I'm gonna, I know. Dad, get you already set that up right? Yeah, all right. Good. So you guys Well, she's just texting us. Oh, so I know dad get in on the phone Fucking mics already middleing that that Mexican

Follow me at at Mike Vs. Wars Instagram follow the podcast that why could it be dude podcast and follow Bobby at Robert Kelly live make sure you check on every Sunday for pancakes on days and That's it. Zach, what do you got? Zach, the new guy. So you guys, the best fans in the world. Thanks for listening yet again. YKW did. con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha sido una gran parte de la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

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