Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Raccoon Paws
Episode Date: November 19, 2017A Tough Crowd reunion with Colin Quinn, Rich Vos and Keith Robinson joining Bobby for talk on the supposed Cellar boys club and comedy cool kids! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You know what dude on the riotcast network riotcast.com You never know.
You never know, Colin.
It might affect people.
Talking on the mic, sir.
No, you do not.
Oh, I'm the only guest here, so I really...
I don't know.
Is that loud enough for you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't hear anything in my headphones.
How's that?
Do you hear that?
No. Really? Now I hear it. Yeah, okay good
Is that loud enough here? Yeah, okay? Well alive?
Here we are doing YKW juice
Second podcast of the day because I'm going to lovely Ruba
That guy problems when you're going to R When are you going to Ruba?
I'm going to Ruba on Monday.
Nice.
For a Ruba Ray.
Beautiful Marriott Stalara Hotel on the beautiful Ruba, where the beach is beautiful.
I'll make sure to call you constantly.
Please don't call me constantly.
Why?
You know, because this is what you do, Quinn.
Every time I go away out of the country, you call me trying to jack up my phone bill.
It's not funny.
I don't have money like you.
I don't have you a fucking money.
I don't have fucking, you know, tough crowd money.
Oh, sorry, did I bring up a painful thing?
Yeah, I'm money.
I never got.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
If that's the second one on DVD,
you'll be a more than five millionaire. And you know what the funny thing was I had a deal not fun show
I had a deal with them. Yeah, where I would get half the DVD sales
Why won't they put them on on DVD? They just kept stalling and yeah, just making all kinds of interfering oh look
Oh, there you go Vos you're right here. Yeah, we started we got to go 5 30 you're late
It's 5 33 that you're sitting right there boss sitting next to me buddy. Yeah sit right down boss. It's okay
Can you not ruin the fucking show with your questions? You're a grown your 60 do whatever you want
Why they're Mike so low, by the way? All right,
there we go. Hey, Keith Robinson's here. Keith Robinson, KWR superstar AOL. AOL, you
don't sell the AOL. You're fucking asshole. No, you don't remember you used to pay for
the AOL. AOL were free for like two years. He came in one night. I'm still paying $30 a month.
He was paying $30 a month for AOL.
He just never fucking assholes hurt me off.
They didn't rip you off.
They're your dumb ass customers.
Who's this?
Hey, close.
Who the fuck is that pushy bastard?
That's Gabby.
That's Gabby.
That's Gabby.
That's Gabby.
Beautiful Gabby.
What are you gonna say now, you fucking, she's the white devil.
The white devil.
Yeah. I was just checking in.
Yeah, we call, we call, what do we call last week?
What do we call you?
Queen of the elves.
Queen of the elves, that's what we call the,
and call them be King of the elves.
You have a very elf nose.
We rule the elf kingdom.
Yes, exactly.
This is a compliment, like I said last week.
Yeah, it is real.
Did we start already? Yeah, talking to the microphone, put your headphones week. Yeah, it is real start already. Yeah talking to the microphone put your headphones on
We do I like wearing headphones
Oh
Something better
We help keep on with this headphones Gabby
On a fucking woman to help me out my head
I put my one hair false on a fucking woman. I help me out my head
But I'm trying to make it a race thing. I just oh
They're making everything a race thing. I just didn't want it to take 10 minutes Can you speed it up that I was gonna say before thank God I didn't say it?
Well, I was gonna say a black guy has never a five minutes late. They're either
Not there or they're they're like an hour late. Those two singers five minutes later.
He proved me wrong today.
He really did.
I guess it's a new world.
He did a good job.
You're here on time, buddy.
Why don't you be a little plighted and introduce us to the basement from Sugar Red.
Put your arms around me, baby.
He's like having a little three-year-old Jewish kid.
Can I go to the bathroom?
Can I have this my microphone doesn't work Keith has a stroke. He fucking did everything. I'm right
Look around put my own headphones on. I mean they're cock-eyed
They're not on both ears, but he did it. I didn't know I know I know I was a joke still but I know
And here's the I okay keep can't realize this into the microphone
Me key tonight Keith and I let me see And here's the guy. Okay, he can't realize this. Into the microphone.
Me and Keith and I, Keith and I, let me see.
Keith and I.
Oh, somebody's in there.
Me and Keith.
140, I know.
I know.
Amazing.
You had to get us here and get us out.
This is, this Jackass has to do his fucking show around
the corner.
He couldn't post one for 10 minutes.
Tell the four or eight people that are coming in the seat
as fucking horrible.
And it's horrible cousin who's been fucking dragging along for long
I don't know, okay it's fucking the show should be called horrible and fucking
horrible and and now we got a Russian jersey park our car park get worried about
getting towed yeah fuck this shit there was always a drag Tim Gage's name into
this name I don't know.
My name, I said you're awful cousin.
Yeah, we would never say his name.
Fucking Tim Gage and the enabler.
That's the name of the show.
You really?
That's fucking so staggs.
I haven't even seen it in a staggs.
Fucking cowches and fuck.
Let's talk about our family.
We got better and our reunions.
Tim, you two years and then I'll go up close with Ann Betsey
You fucking asshole nobody wants to see that crap
Is a couch comic
What really he needs a couch comic? I know he needs at least 30% of the audience relax
I tell you what Tim I told you not to do reunion material. I do the reunion material
You know what that fucking kid was right about the comic strip table.
The comedy set was a table.
He fucking nailed it.
You guys all meeting and exclusive.
Fuck you.
Oh, I would just skirt his shirt with us.
And she's not, can't say that.
You can't say to skirt.
You can't.
You can't.
You can't give me an option.
He gave me an option.
He said, I'll call you skirt or tuts.
And I cut your skirt.
You like that.
You haven't even, you haven't even,
you haven't even had to say tits.
You just couldn't get it out.
Wow.
I'm like that really backfire didn't it?
What I wanna ever do is fat tits joke.
Alright, so we're here.
I think Colin's show first of all, I've seen it.
Bob's at the top five.
I've come by and watched the whole guest spot.
No, this is all family. I tell you I did a guest spot
And it was it back fired on me then because gauge
99.9% of the time will fucking tank up front. I go call can I get on?
He was absolutely get on I go up this guy kills for the first time in
17 years
Yeah, fucking moon was going. It was blue. Yeah, I don't know what happened
It was a full-leaf clover. Something I walk in he's killing. Yeah, I go up and he brings me up
He goes, yeah, this guy. Yeah, he's been on a show whatever is a has a podcast
No, he goes fuck you on your podcast. Yeah, they just fuck you on your pocket. Brings me up. They hate me already
I tried improv. They wanted nothing to do back for vacation So he's heading it off for a while. So you can
I bombed and there's nothing worse to see a tim gauge giving you the rapid upside because you take it a hot one
And Liz's dumb face right next to him going yep get off
Tubby. Oh, it was the worst
The mic the mic is right here. What do you want me to do? I'm talking the mic the mic is right here
What do you want me to do? I look at the way everybody else is talking into the mic
I'm close enough if you had headphones on you'd be able to hear that you cannot come through I have bad ears if you were really talking
Into it. It wouldn't be this dry. Yeah
You're not bad ears
Bad ears you have listener you have bad hands
Okay, let me explain something what raccoon pause
That back just the guy came up with it tonight. I love it. Don't go dig through trash
And find you find your set from his cell wow too worthy. Oh
Yeah, it started out good would promise. Yeah, I'm the same team today. Yeah
Yeah, it started out good with promise. Yeah, I'm the same team today. Yeah, all right.
That microphone. That microphone's wet now.
Listen, I tell you what? This is what we table. This is the fucking macho boys. Oh, it isn't. It's fun.
It's what comics do and they've been doing it through history. No comics female comics. This because season young
Millennial comics came to this. This is what we do.
When we ask, when we say to Freddie Roman or that older crew, don't do what you do or
to, or the guys above us, no, they do what they do.
Can you take a less older crew?
Why do you say Freddie Roman?
You know, just because mom's maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dr. Menry coming out.
No.
Okay.
And listen to me, don't say mom's mabily until another year of fucking therapy.
You fucking stumbling, hawksucker.
Stumbling?
Oh my god, you've got a mooseucker!
At least he had a stroke!
I thought I got a way with it though.
I thought I...
He's a crazy...
No, our last name had a pause in it.
Mom's mabily! Come on man, I'm sensitive towards that. No, no, our last name had a pause in it. Oh, mom's made believe.
Come on, man.
I'm sensitive towards that.
I know.
I don't want to feel it.
I thought about that driving in.
And yeah, about what?
About people attacking Keith having a stroke.
Bobby being overweight or I have a
minute.
I'm not.
I have a speech.
I have a stroke.
It's like having a stroke.
Being overweight is like having a stroke. What's that? You're right. Being overweight is like having a stroke being a weight is like having a stroke
what's that?
being overweight is like having a stroke
why how is it like having a stroke?
i don't know
what about fucking con? what happened to him?
what has he got?
everything about him
and when you start with him
we can start with him sitting down at his HBO special
sports
special in Miami
can we slow down a little bit?
What? He was burning his leather.
Oh, you had a fucking,
and it wasn't even a New York coat.
It was a, it was a Pittsburgh pirate code
that someone gave him.
It was too big for him.
Number one, number two,
he had a gold chain.
Number three,
middle of a city sat down on the
edge of stage with a cigarette
and started pontificating like he was
at a park doing hamlet.
I was the first hipster. Common. Yes. I was the first old comic. Yeah.
Yeah, but he had an hour special. A lot of hour specials.
Oh, I got. I got an hour. You're talking to a little guy. Five albums already.
I don't have an hour special. We know. We know. you're the only one of the rooms
We don't you to try that like hey guys. I'm gonna call myself out for about to call you
I don't try to beat us to the punch
Amonation made a movie that was
That made a fucking make a movie your wife made a fucking did not make a movie My wife and I made a movie your wife made a movie. We made a white hold up us three. I'm not as in it
Yeah, that's all that gets my will all the stars in movie came because body was there
Absolutely nothing. Yeah
If it was a story about
You did nothing. Let me talk for now. That's that right you
Absolutely You did nothing let me talk for not that right you Absolutely
I've never heard you talk clear
It's loud declare
That's the key you just have to be angry can I just point out that when people re we watch this yeah on you
I want them to back up and voice goes like this grab his hat. Are you crazy?
That's what I did 30s character
Right what That's what I did 30s character Anyhow you're right what we know we're right
Yeah, I wrote for two Oscars how many you guys wrote for two Oscars?
Who cares you cares? What did you write for the Oscars?
Two Oscars more prestigious because everybody has no body giving me the own hour special that I wrote and had on the show.
Wait, but voice makes a good point.
Tell us some of your Oscar jokes that made it on the air because I don't remember it.
It's that big one, pal.
And I don't want to do it.
He signed the secrets.
Hey, you're not allowed to say what you're doing.
Robert De Niro, how's your face?
Oh, look at Merrill Street.
Yeah, I've seen better.
Hey, he's called Johansson.
Can I buy you a house? I'm out of that world. Yeah, I've seen better. Hey, he's called your hands. Can I buy you a house?
Hey, hey, hey, Pacino, I love you work two sugars black
Yeah, where's the black people at?
Black people love me. Ben's out. How you doing? Is that your wife kind of hot?
How you doing? Is that your wife? Kind of hot. Holly Berry, I need to coach you just something.
Do you want to hear something fucking funny?
You're telling us?
We just did. We were doing it. We don't need you.
It's so true.
I was listening on Sirius and he played from some of my stuff from 18 years ago.
Horrific. That it's so bad.
And someone listening to it,
can we bring that up, Rich Voss,
I'm talking right into it.
19, I'm talking right into it.
You don't go.
No, just, what?
Rich Voss, 2015, who's he?
No, you didn't.
That's the same Rich Voss, that's the same.
Def Jam, Def Jam.
You broke the five CDs.
Def Jam, let's listen to his Def Jam set.
No, no, I'll leave if you play that shit.
Come on, just one right there.
One.
Why do you want to play a man?
Pay a man.
No, I'll pay a man.
This is your thing he's had off and punched through it.
Ha, ha, ha.
God, who is that?
That's just too hard.
Oh my God, shit, that was way going nowhere.
Way to go.
That's a way.
That's going to get somebody else out here.
Yeah, ready for you next time. See, yeah. Yeah. Ready for you next time. See, yeah. This is it, that's a way that's gonna get somebody else out here Yeah, ready for you next time see yeah
This brother right here has appeared on showtime at the Apollo and he is here tonight to make history
Yeah, you'll see what I mean y'all! Ritzfah! So good job! Uh-oh!
Yeah!
Hang on a second.
You're the first comic on Jeff. White comic on Jeff Tim?
Yeah, after five years.
SELLO.
Yeah, we go.
A lot of sisters in the house checking me out, huh?
Stop, stop, stop.
I heard that on the Oscars.
Look, I'm going to cut this off. I heard that on the Oscars
I'm not gonna come up here and do this opian Anthony shit. Where were you?
You killed on this He's got a point all right. Let's get let's get all right. I don't want to hurt you feeling no
I speak you killed on this I didn't bring up you wait. Well, you know you I didn't know you that I was I've watched this before I pander They made me wear that outfit of course you pair who made you wear that
Now who made you wear that George Lopez?
Hey
Yo, I said you do podcast you gotta wear my stuff. Oh
You're gonna write for me. I say you got to fucking win my my solo shirt
And my my uncle's hat company needs you to wear the hats man
You gotta wear dude those are almond picking hats on
Don't get greedy. I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it from the professional of greedy.
When boss tells you to shut up, you shut the fuck up.
But it does make good point, which is Russell Simmons would make him wear,
because he's trying to promote his line of clothes.
Stop it.
So he wanted this fucking open micr.
Do you know how many fucking people be cringe when he saw that
bad form shared on you?
No, you know, many, many open micrs He told, I got a, he wore that like that.
It gave it to me free.
I get free fat farm.
He wore it for a year's, three.
I never wore it again after I had that.
Yeah, you did.
You still have it?
I save all my TV stuff.
All of it.
What are you, who are you?
The Beatles?
No, because he got both shirts.
He really believes I swear to God.
Somebody's gonna ask for it someday
and they're gonna frame it and put it like a hard rock
You really did that's two-neighboros
Trying to I was it tell me tell me tell me what I tell me what was it
Don't let him do it
it. Come on, don't let them do it. Go let them win. Go in, don't let them win. You say, you say, don't do your stuff. I said,
both shirts. That was funny. You're a bad mouth. All right. You're right.
Is it? I still have all tough. I get nervous. I don't have your tough
crowd stuff. No. You don't? I did more shows. I have. Have you
tough crowd stuff? I have a couple shirts from tough crowd. I have a
hat from tough crowd. And I think I have a a tough crowd stuff? I have a couple shirts from Tough Crowd. I have a hat from Tough Crowd.
And I think I have a jacket.
You know what I found from Tough Crowd?
What?
Remember the first iPod?
Oh, I know.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They gave you an iPod, one of the originals
with the spinny dial.
Yeah, and it said Tough Crowd on the back.
You gave it to me.
I have that.
I got that from the Oscars.
I'll take it without saying I got the tough crowd. There you go
The Oscars again, but I keep stepping on my I why would you even fucking have to step on my
I post have the same I pop we don't I have one from tough crowd which is a better show
Tough crowd is a better show my gift I got the Oscars was you been bringing up this fucking gift bag
It's not a credit. It's not a credit
I mean, I listen. I still have I still have a quick
Wave in your finger right everybody. I have that I tell I have the windbreaker that you gave when the show was canceled
We all got those I didn't get one. I consider it would have been a 10
I wasn't fat.
I'm not gonna say another one because no, I don't care.
I was in easy way out.
It's stupid.
It's not it's God.
Do it.
Do it.
No, it's easy to take.
Alright, if you do another fat joke, you have to pay me $20.
Right.
Yeah.
And if you do, if you say anything negative about me, we're not negative.
The whole thing.
You just did one. Give me the fucking 20. There was a fat joke. If you say anything negative about me, we're not negative the whole thing
Can't we ever get together? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no right now. Keith are always going to be. You guys are doing it tomorrow. Jim and Sam. Tomorrow. Jim and Sam. That's a radio show. We're going to be doing it tomorrow. I tell you,
there's a, I'll bring up something that is interest. That was, he's going to bring it up right
now on the internet. You probably, you on the internet. I'm trying to talk like you guys to understand. We all sound like Colin reading
a teleprompter on Tough Crowd.
Wow.
All right, whatever.
Fuck off.
You know what?
I threw one out there trying to zing him.
Why is he untouchable?
Um, not if you're a priest. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm so fired. I'm so fired.
That was a good one.
Someone sent me this today.
Black student wrote the racist message that shook the Air Force Academy school says.
So with the Air Force Academy, remember when they wrote this guy, I believe it was a general,
right? It was saying, yeah, this general came out and give this amazing speech about how it will not be tolerated
Racism someone wrote the N word all over the place on this air force base turns out
You were black black kid. Yeah, what what are you looking at me for it?
Yes, because you're a black kid did it. Listen, I'm glad he did it
I first of all I like your show Nick
But what I'm trying to say is I
What the fuck when
No step on my toes fucking shit me what hey hold on let me talk to you. Hey, what are you doing?
I call for a break you tell me it's a break don't fuck up. I'm gonna miss
Here with Nick you you ask shout out is my show
Now what's the deal with the black kid?
What do you want to save him?
Well, all right, so you don't think this,
and this has happened before,
this happened with Jewish anti-Semitic stuff written
and it was wanna be in a Jewish kid.
This is happening, this is happening a lot.
But you're talking about one time
at a full of times it happens.
That's been written about by people throughout history and it's done so one time.
And it's same thing with Jewish cemeteries being desigrated or what?
I should desigrate it.
You barely said desigrated.
No, I mean, that way I could this possibly be, I want to see how this no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Like a black guy wrote graffiti on something he wasn't supposed to write on and I think it's right. Wait a minute it is.
I don't think that's gonna work.
We should be in the Air Force and I'm gonna tell you why.
It's how Joyce is when you're first.
Whoa!
There's a lot of math.
First of all.
Whoa!
Sweet Jesus!
And you can't get a transfer on a plane.
That was funny. That, that, that, was a little school. It was fun. Yeah
I joined the Navy actually I can't join the Navy for one day you did one day
What what is that possible happy happy better Wednesday by the way?
How you know join the Navy and I back out like a man. How can you back out mother made him back out like a man?
When you join though, aren't you in what you sign? You got a couple mother came in andtenham any contract you have a day or two days
Shut up boss. The one time is gonna be Jewish yeah
The one time yeah, I believe it. I just don't believe you have any Jewish credibility
prison lawyer
He put out you start David
He put on your star David. He just look like a prison lawyer.
Yeah.
Hey.
S.A. and tell you what you got to do.
Go see Rich and Sue Block.
You guys get started.
You know what?
He's been down for like 11 years.
He knows his stuff.
You mean the Spanish guy?
All right.
Ask him to take up the star David.
He hides it.
Well, he's just started to get his ass kicked.
I've been studying your case.
I'm thinking about something.
So you went in for one day and you went home
and your mother was like, you're out of your mind?
No, no, no, I was going into a service and I backed out.
I was a lot and said I was going to Miami.
I could go to Miami.
I could be. What? It's not club Miami. I go to Miami. Be. What?
It's not clubbing.
I'm making fucking asshole.
I've never associated the Navy with Miami.
What is that, go anywhere?
I want to say that I choose Miami.
What is fucking what's his name from dog day after noon?
Which Wyoming your next step?
Yeah.
No, but they did lie to me.
And I can swim as much as I wanted. Well, yeah, you can if you'd like. You can jump out the boat. Yeah, but they did lie to me. I can swim as much as I wanted. Well, yeah, you can.
If you're about to bump, yeah, but they gave me the basketball. Yeah, they said I couldn't
have played ball. They said, yeah, you can play ball. And I found out I was going to instead
of Miami's great lakes. The Great Lakes. Yeah, I'm state freezing. Yeah, I'm state. He thinks
the Great Lakes is upstate. Now, the Great Lakes is all about a part of the more upstate, state. He thinks his great legs is upstate. Now, the great legs is all part of the more upstate, actually.
Thank you.
Michigan.
Yeah, no, no.
There she goes.
Yeah, and what do you think Buffalo's on?
I can be after every.
What Buffalo?
What is Buffalo?
All right, shut up.
I messed up.
You didn't mess up.
It had a stroke, man.
How Jesus went like that.
I mean, look, I'm dumb, but I'm not going to be dumb when it comes to the great legs.
That's it. Most of my gigs are lately.
Fucking eerie, buffalo.
Mother lied to me, that's the point.
Yeah, but no, so you went home and your mother, your mother...
I went home and I went home.
You said, I'm going to Miami?
No, I said, I don't want to go now.
I don't want to go to the next day.
Why did your mother, you brought your mother up, though?
How did that...
She brought me, she had to go with me.
I was still 17. And I went down me who she had to go with me? I'm still 17
And I went down it. They want to fit me out. I was filled up here brawn cherry took me seven minutes and a the navy guy was like
Yeah, you're gone. I'm like, I don't want to go. You said shut up little bitch. You go on really?
My mom said don't call my little bitch. I said yeah, my get it
You dumb bitch shut your mouth. Tell you dumb bitch kid to shut up
Gangster, you know my mom was a gang plus you were 18 so yeah, I was out but still
And you know that but my my man who's gone in rooms she's at my son don't want to go
This is this ain't going to fuck
But they did tell her like hey, you can get some money if he goes you can get this my money
And you ran out of the change my
She almost changed the wow how much money
Wow
Right, I'm so glad you're not talking it into the microphone.
I know. Not a side mic. That almost wiped out half the stuff you said already.
You're right. You're right. That was so bad. You right.
If you say clean it especially to set you guys up. No, that didn't set us up.
It just put the whole room to you. You do look like a black guy that was in the Navy though.
Huh? You have that Navy look. Yeah. Well Well a lot of a lot of people go to the neighborhood in the hood
No, you look you look like a Navy dude
Yeah, you do like not like in shape, but thin
I'm a shape you're not in shape. All right. I'm not in shape, but still half a user shape. Oh
Like that mentally. Wow. What are you doing?
So much more. Yeah. God. Jesus Christ falls. What are you going to do in the man? You know
hard. You know I was in the sea cadets. You that? A superhero takes when this cat has the
sea that's
that's
that's
that's
what's right there.
Where's the picture of you?
So the left become a sea kid at right there.
Click on that.
That I did this.
Where are you?
Where are you when you're sea kid?
That outfit.
My mother still has the outfit.
Show me a picture, Bob.
Okay.
I want to say first of all, I was getting in trouble
with drinking and drugs.
And so the Cikidettes was next.
The neighbor up to street was in a full-fledged Cikidette guy.
Oh, boy, this is a story going where I think he's going.
No, Bob.
He lit the loan and invited me over.
There's nothing.
And we had drilling practice twice a week.
Bob has a hashtag, me too.
There's nothing. Bob has a hashtag me too. This is a...
This is a good dance.
There's Bob.
So...
It's not me.
What the...
The chubby girl in a lesbian is this.
Bob.
So...
Oh, all right.
Oh, oh, oh.
So I
Yeah, they
Did you guys do it? You practice bowling?
No, so cookie
No, I'm gonna
Go ahead and see get that cookie
That's so flour-seeds in the neighborhood
Seek it that flour- flower she has the greeting cards.
I'm not a tapie.
No one heard of see get that.
No, Bob. Did you hear Mike just slip in tapie?
Tapie.
Mushy Mike just went tapie.
Listen, so they put me into it.
I go down, you go down to the Coast Guard place and in the North end of Boston.
And they give you get a suit. You get a wooden gun.
Whoa.
And you learn how to do the military salute
and you learn how to do the about face and a left right.
And so with your wooden gun.
And then we would go in March.
He would make me go down the park.
He would make him go.
Come on here, we now we're getting close.
Oh yeah. Go down to the park.
Let me get get dangerous with the wooden gun.
So you get splinters, right?
So we go down the park and we'd have to practice.
We have marching, you'd have to march.
And you know, left, left, left, right, left,
and then you'd spin the gun
and you'd do the military salute with the gun.
And then we'd go to gun and you'd do the military salute with the gun and then
we'd go to battleships and paint battleships.
Wait a minute, that's like, you were an intern for the Navy.
We had a paint battleship.
And then we got the CK.
Fucking Bobby intern in a little cadet outfit.
Hey look man, they tried to get me out of trouble
but it worked for like a month, maybe two months.
I actually learned how to do all the military salute stuff
and we went one on a ward at a marching thing
and then I remember one night.
I think the night we did the marching and we won, you know, like an addict, you
need to celebrate more. So I went and hung out with my friends at the park. And I remember
we ripped off a pizza guy. We were hungry. So we ordered dominoes. And then I wait, I
wait, we just got somebody's front porch. You're winning. Give up the pizza. We waited on
the front porch and I was in this crack eject uniform and I waited on some ladies from porch
And I was like I did a bread back I got to go around the back
And I remember I was going around the back halfway around
I was this guy caught wind he started chasing me and I remember I had a hop of fence in my my fucking bell
Ball I'm gonna hook the top of the fence and the pizza fell on top of me and
You keep no I got out of the seat at that pizza fell on top of me. And uh, you keep going.
No, I got out of the seat at that.
I got away. Yeah.
I remember, yeah, well, that's when I got started
doing real drinking and drug and I.
We withdraw for a dude for a pound of pot that way.
We said, wait here and went into front door
and went out the back door.
Yeah, we would just go to somebody's house
and order pizza, but I'm right back there,
I go around the basement in my apartment
and we just just jump the fence and be gone.
And the guy would just be waiting on somebody's front porch.
And that comes off and he sees a nice guy in the sea kid.
That's how he goes.
Just can't rip me off.
Yeah.
He's in the amazing the armed forces at 13 full of paint.
Um, so it was 13.
13.
Oh, so it was like the boy scouts.
Yeah.
It's the boy scouts of the name. Yeah. Yeah. Oh now you're on board. No
He wore a boy scout
The worst part of that story is that they went for fucking Domino's pizza in Boston
It's like some of the greatest pizzas around the Domino's when it first came out sucked when it first came out different
I
Disagree when it first came out it was a new Domino's pizza stinks Domino's dots are the only reason it's still in different. I disagree. When it first came out, it was a new, yeah.
Dominos Pizza stinks.
Dominos dots are the only reason it's selling business.
Oh my god.
Spoke like a true fatty.
Hey, I'm not the one that my first big robbery was a pizza.
Was my first big robbery was a mafia-owned fucking pizza store.
Really good pizza.
LaCosha's.
No, no, LaCosha's.
What was it called?
Ah, Deepa Squalies.
What do you mean you walked in a robdom
No, I was I was drunk and high and I was trying to pick up the girl working there and then we won a problem
Just circumstance no my friend my friend what
So how much time did you spend in jail Bob? I want to know why?
You need to go to jail. he wants a juby yeah we
went to juby jail it wasn't jail how many times something you spent a jail that's
what I wrote you know you've been in jail jail no now you did you went for a
night or two oh that's not jail jail that's not even counting it's
counting you think I want to count it did Tom and counting give a jump suit? I wanted him, Chris and came out on a month's, one day. Did it not?
That's cool.
I really did, it was one day.
Didn't I, I'd be there?
I wish his comedy career was like that.
Whoa.
Yeah, I was in for a little bit, that's it.
So everybody was like, Valspin and Jill.
I never been a Jill.
I did, Colin's been a Holden cell at least.
Oh yeah, I just did, no, I just did holdy cells. No, I just did home in my local city. I never went been a judge. I've been a colonist. I've been a colonist so at least. I just did not. I just did not.
I just did home in my local city.
I never went to county.
Donateeal though, it really is getting arrested
that feeling of being in the back of that car
knowing that you have no more choices.
Like you're doing what these fuckers tell you to do
for the next whatever it is.
It's got to be one of the most,
I, it sucks that I felt it,
but I'm kinda glad in my lifetime I know what that,
when I see people get arrested on TV,
I'm like, oh, fuck me.
That, once you're in that car, what's that?
What?
I get angry.
Yeah, and then we get in the car, I get mad.
This is how dumb I was, my brother got arrested.
Front of him, I got me, not the side.
My brother, stop talking like a, you do the podcast like a cholo
you know what I'm saying you know I see we dropped the cell man
I see like he's my driving yeah yeah my brother my brother got arrested so we
went to bail him out me and my mom and then we get there and they go his older
brothers here he's got a warrant to certainly through me, so, but I was only in local jail,
and I was here many times, but I tried to be like,
I was in jail a lot, so I burnt my name up
in the ceiling with a lighter.
Remember when they did that back in the day,
when you burnt your name up?
How did you have a lighter?
Well, back then you were allowed to have a cigarette
and a cigarette and stuff.
This was, this was in 1752.
Yeah, I was marching for his people. Oh, I was in the 1952. Yeah. When I was marking for his people.
Oh, I thought it was funny.
I remember I was in Jimmy Joe.
We used to smoke.
I used to smoke.
I remember smoking on a plane at 15.
At 15.
14.15.
Smoking just lighting up on a plane.
Walking through a supermarket having a cigarette.
I remember asking the flight attendant for a match.
And she was like, okay, one second honey. I was smoking my pro wreaths on a plane. I was 14. Can you imagine?
If you saw a fortune, you're all just light up and the flight attendant just lighted up.
Okay, honey. Can I get you some cookies? I'm just trying to picture your parents walking out of
the airport going, we don't have them anymore. Thank God. Wow. Wow. This is called the bomb bandanna put that on your microphone, please
You just such an old fucking asshole who does that
I saw a great movie last night
This is gonna be stupid. It's better be the best movie ever. No, and it's been out for years,
and I kept nan nan with Robert DeVol,
and Robert Downey, the judge.
Oh, I never saw that move.
Fucking good movie, man.
All right, what do we go on?
So what do you want to do?
Fucking talk about movie here?
Let's talk about movie.
How many to make?
I'm talking about movie that none of us have seen,
except him.
What I really want to talk about is the
the because this is the group is the attack on the seller
Yeah, the boys club. Well, you know on the boys club and now this guy since then has been attacked by
Everybody and and and told these out of his mind everybody and anybody, but he hasn't he hasn't retracted it
He hasn't said sorry. He hasn't he I know it's it's you know
I it's like oh my god. This is the sorry. What do you want? Do you want something apology from people? Yeah
Bob you kid me what no, I don't apologize even somebody I would like somebody to go you know
I would like fuck that. What do you mean with it what we're not guys? It'll give me like we need a full apology
Yeah, and they mean nothing anyhow apologies
He that's what he felt he wrote it. So now he has to suffer the consequences of dealing with all the people that disagree with
I'm sorry, nothing. I'm just I'm talking to the guys at work to sell it regularly
I wrote about the stand table and I'll tell you right now
It's outside it's kind of right in front on second.
Not only two people.
It's a doorway next door to the stand, but still.
Do you need to article about the comment?
Oh, forget.
Say it.
You're right. We don't know fucking apology.
Who gets it?
If we already know the guys are douchebag.
So if he came on and go, oh, I'm sorry.
We still think he's a fucking douchebag.
That's all.
No, but I think when you brought up the other day,
we were talking about it was my favorite take.
Ready?
Do you remember what you said?
I said that, okay, you want that table gone.
Okay, you can have it.
Take it.
You said it's a shit fucking table.
It's a comedy.
Take it.
You can have it, but let us into your world.
Let me into writing, let me into festivals. Right. festivals right let me into the business let me into you know
We use the truth most of the exclusion it goes on in comedy is not the comedy
Exactly the other way, you know, I mean yeah, it's all the people who pretend to be outcast on outsiders
They're the ones that exclude you know saying you're right. It's how it's been for 20 years
It's for 20 years.
We've, like for some reason it's this men thing.
And now GQ wrote an article today about all men
in comedy or awful.
Why all?
Who's gonna argue with that?
Well, I'm not arguing with that.
Prenable.
Prenable.
I said, yeah, but where, where,
I remember, look across the table from you
and now argue that.
Well, maybe they get a point, all right.
Oh no. Yeah, they got an absolute point. I a absolute I never I never listen. I never had a visual to put
Maybe what they should have done is not use Louis
They should have just put our faces on the article and ask and everybody were like yeah
That's the reason it's all bullshit the most fun ever in life. I've had in comedy comes from the comedy seller table and hanging out you guys
Patrice and that's the fun just because we do what we do we didn't.
Yes, what the whole is we never said if you're gay, if you're a woman, you can't sit here.
If you sat there, then you dealt with what you dealt with.
It didn't see that whole thing is about discrimination.
That's not about being a fucking asshole comment.
The last thing to bug me is that we are that table.
I've never seen anybody discriminate it against.
I've seen gays, straights.
I've seen trans people at that table.
I haven't seen no trans there.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, you have.
You just haven't realized it.
They didn't realize it.
Not only that, but I want to
I want to see the other girls eat.
We're bringing passables.
Exactly.
We're more. They've been more than welcome.
Yeah, and I'll tell you something else.
That's what I said too.
Everybody at that table is gay.
He's gay, but also everybody at that table gets the closer you are, the worst trashings
anyone's ever gotten.
More we knew, people just were new, they might have get a couple of slaps, but the brutality
of the trashes we gave each other. That's what it was. I think I think I think it's that. I think it's the trashings
and it's the meanness, but it was all to each other.
It's to each other. Yeah. I know. But I even said it was just, you know, but it's been
built up so much over the years through tough crowd through opian Anthony through the things
we talk about
that that table has this thing and people talk about it like it's a living, breathing
fucking monster for some of these comics.
When anybody can come down, sit at that fucking table and yeah, you might get hit, but if
you do, it's because people like you.
Right.
Nobody has ever fucking trash somebody that they don't like. The only thing about
that table is if you don't work the club, you don't shit there. And most of the time
you know, but it didn't work to come on out. I was still sat there. I wasn't working
there all the time. But I still was there. Bustin Choms. Yeah. You know, the table is just
a group of people, just messing that's not when each other.
But they call it a boys club, which I guess if you
back that boys club energy, I understand, but it's so
stupid. You know, I mean, it's just a bunch of people.
Blake is a busting boy.
That's what we love to do.
But we love to do for more.
We talk politics.
We talk current events.
So we talked about whatever was going on.
And we do what does that mean? What does that mean? It doesn't mean we talk current events so we talked about whatever was going on and we what does that mean what does that mean we talk politics well you know it's also
it's also a serious side to the table
oh no shot up you ruining this listen to me listen to me why you have to ruin everything
listen to me you're living in the past alright
okay listen to me walk it down memory lane, fucking Marty.
What I'm trying to see. No't always about bus and we did have great
But so what if it's about bus and child so what saying that's part of it?
Nobody's offended by the fact that we're a political no no no no, but I'm saying never once did anybody say you can't sit here because you're
Lady but all I'm saying is you just waited I was in the middle of like a kind of a thoughtful thing if you just waited two or
Minus I did you I'm with your horse shit. I'm so ruined everything
That's not where headphones you can't hear I
Right next
Balls no, cuz Lewis was up here before I don't know if these were his headphones. They were not putting on a fucking Puerto Rican
Headphone have them Gabby. Sorry, stop fucking you're on this team
No, let Gabby talk. Yeah, let Gabby talk. I will Gabby, stop fucking you're on this team. You're on this team. No, let Gabby talk.
Listen, let Gabby talk.
Well, Gabby, go ahead, talk.
Hey, talk, Gabby.
What do you think?
I actually have a little bit of a point.
Oh.
All right, what do you have?
I feel like we're new comics and we've been coming in and out
of our dozen of Gabby.
All right.
We have your synatus.
Cool.
Cool. No, but I've been in the olive tree with you guys a million times and I'm new and no one has ever seen my stand-up
It doesn't matter, but everyone's completely nice
And everyone is gracious and the I don't know
But the point I'm complimenting you
What up point is that we're not supposed to you know supposed to say we're nice and gracious
We're supposed to say and you guys are busting our jobs. Well, it's all we're gonna find.
That's supposed to say gracious.
I mean, just look like you're nice and gracious and rural.
But you've never.
No, no, everyone's making fun of everyone,
but it's not like they're like, get the fuck out.
But it's not even how it was.
It's just me, you know, here's the problem.
This is one thing I said that you're Scandinavian, by the way.
I know I'm Polish.
Oh, hey, can you stop by the way?
Why? You're staring at it going, what are you? You don't know where I was going'm Polish. Oh, hey, can you stop by the way? Why you're staring at it going what are you?
You don't know where I was going with where we going. Where are we going?
I'm going to bring up a friend of us
This preference for dolls can maybe girls
All right, who Norton?
I was I know Norton I know he did That sounds a little weird.
I was on his podcast for like a second.
Yeah, you were.
Two is a chip, Shelper.
Anyways, that's chip, by the way.
It's not Norton.
Chip?
Yeah, we have to fuck.
All right, chip.
Oh, two million views.
Yeah, good.
It's the worst.
So the guy making a table on fucking Facebook. Oh. Well, here's the point is that the guy said there's 17% women, female comics at the table,
and 1% gay comics working at the table.
And I'm sitting there going 1% gay.
Have you ever listened to a comment?
We were at the dinner the other night.
Yeah.
Most of the male comics, straight male comics at the dinner.
Right.
We all had the originators.
And we all, and we're all talking about how many dicks
we put near our face.
Wait, what dinner?
You don't get invited.
Oh, I don't know what any of these dinners.
What do you want to do?
Go.
Should we invite Vos?
I won't bring Bonnie.
And you can come.
You're in. That was the key. It's a guy's dinner, right? It's, Bonnie. And you can come. You're in.
That was the key.
It's a guy's dinner, right?
It's kind of...
No, it's not a guy's dinner.
This is awkward, but it's like...
No, let me handle this.
Boss, you're not invited.
Now, let's continue.
Okay, I don't need to come to your dinner.
But every three to six months, we ought to delve frisk up. And it's always always I don't eat red meat, but it's also see that's why you're not
invited, but it's also because it's all people that are here all the time like Tom
Papa. People that are here every night. He's he lives in LA. Yeah. I'm here on
weekends, I'm in town, I go on the road a lot. I'm sorry.
I go to my family. What do you want to do? What do you want to come to the dinner?
No, no, no, We can vote on it.
And 1150 on Sunday is not the weekend, but all right.
Um,
uh,
uh, technically here Friday, if the 12 past four o'clock on Thursday, you're right.
I stay corrected.
Oh, nothing. Oh, good.
I, but I think that you got such a long cab ride to think of a stunt.
Uh, uh,
I was on the e-training. Actually, he takes the train.
He's like Al Pacino in the fucking, the devil's movie. Fuck, I didn't is Scott. It was on the e-training actually. He takes the train, he's like Al Pacino in the fucking
The Devil's movie.
Fuck I didn't have it.
What was it?
The Devil's Avenue.
Shit Mike, you could have helped me out.
I just think it's fucking ridiculous.
I don't go to those dinner.
No, it's weird that it doesn't.
No, I think that's right.
Right at the point.
You don't go to the dinner.
I used to go.
No you didn't. Yeah, what? Uh huh. You don't go to the day. I used to go. No you didn't yeah, what?
Why can't we why can't we just fuck why why these people
There's why do they hate us why do they hate why they st what is this fucking hating men thing?
I don't know what the fuck it is
What is it who hey man You saying alternative comics hate man,
liberal comics hate man, women hate man.
There's an article today, all men are awful.
They get it, uh, the boys' club should be burned down.
I feel like I've done nothing but help comics,
women comics, I've had women on my show.
I've had gay people on my show.
I'm a bob.
Can you stop?
You're not a pillar.
You're not helping anybody.
You're fucking asshole. Like, you're fucking asshole Like your old Bobby helped me
What do you do?
I help you to the third fucking floor of a fucking attic studio setup
Let me tell you something
Gabby is your sixth woman that you had on your podcast
I'm not sure
I've had a lot of women on this show
And most of them
And they leave the country
I was trying to I was gonna say many of them have this show. Okay, yes. And most of them, and they leave the country. I was trying to,
I was gonna say many of them have fled, you know,
in the States.
That's not true.
I've had a lot of,
I love female comics.
He made a fucking
shut up,
profile-female pro women.
Shut up, boys.
What is it?
Shut up, everybody.
If you keep telling people to shut up,
no one's gonna talk at the point.
Yes.
Why don't you shut up with telling people to shut up?
If you fucking didn't live,
cock, sucker.
I know, fucking, fucking box cutter lips.
Yeah!
Fucking pointed with those lips.
Popp it nose, shut up.
Jesus Christ.
I thought you were fucking barred.
You didn't win here.
You didn't win here.
You guys pontificate like, we've done nothing but supporting and powering.
Yeah.
You two idiots.
What have you done?
What have you done?
You faces.
I've done nothing.
Number 10 I do. Who do we suddenly like? I've done nothing and I'm pretending I do. Who do it suddenly like I've done nothing but help women
Why do they hate us?
I got the fuck up. You can act like a man
Why do they hate us?
Please I just farted. I killed it. I get nervous. I said I can't imagine farted. Yeah
I've done nothing all my life, but treating women with respect shut up
Even after my mom abandoned me
This is not gonna be as funny as what just happened
This is not gonna be as funny as what just happened
Here's the deal what so much who likes and dislikes you I know
You already ruined the lives
You're the cover I
Just just admit I'm asshole. I admit it
You're a fucking everybody knows it look how you're talking What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck? What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
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I wonder what he would say right now, father shit was going on.
No, he's saying that the reason is responsible for 90% of any hate we feel.
Is he such a cocksucker on the tape?
Can you please do your best to chew those mints with your old mouth and stop spitting on my microphone?
Oh my God.
They're bigger than his lip.
I like him.
Hi.
You're a light pepper.
I need one from him.
So I mean, look at, here's a deal.
This is what I'm getting from the older people in this group.
No, but I don't like that we have to make it excuse for what it is.
What it is.
Yeah, man, we are awful at time.
You're right. Who gives a fuck?
Yeah.
Fuck is we're all pieces of shit.
But why say men work comics.
We're fucking, we're not working at fucking Apple and doing this at
Apple, you know, Apple or Apple bees.
We're having these Apple.
That's what we do Apple bees Apple we do
What do we do? We fucking
Trash each other we have a good time
I'm not not the same I'm saying it's bad or good. I'm saying I think that sums up voices career
He goes you don't think they do it? Proving hasn't been to LA.
He's whole Korea.
You're finished, you've never even been to LA.
Have you ever been on stage at any of the LA clubs?
I'm a regular at the improv.
That's a lot.
I'll tell you what.
I'll fly you there right now, I guarantee.
Oh really?
You won't get on.
I guarantee that I won't get in the showroom.
I get you at the bar.
You are a bad driver. That's what I haveroom. I get I get the bar
If we flew you there right now straight to the improv the guy the dog go y'all man. It's 15 dollars Hey, and then you have to go I'm rich lost the fuck I am
Hey essay
I wrote on two Oscars
You have to take the hat off
I work I work factory.
The impot.
I go in and ask you where you work.
I'm going to say this right now.
And I need to say this, man.
Please say it.
Oh, say it.
You had like about five stroke jokes, seven fat jokes.
No, five fucker.
I had two.
Seven fat jokes.
I don't like it.
Okay, damn it.
Three good ones.
Two kind of flop.
But three of those trick jokes from fucking
Last one was amazing
The balls to spit it out that got into it come on
I think voice is honestly never been to Los Angeles because he asked you about the Los Angeles comics
No, I didn't I said they're not like some come on said they like to do that
Well, I've gone out there and you bust balls
and people are like, oh, she's sitting there.
They don't, I don't think they do.
You go to the comedy store, don't do it out back.
But it's all the, yeah, I've seen it.
Yeah, and look, we are who we are.
He wasn't at that table.
If us four and all, if we were at fucking standing outside
the comic strip, we'd still be who the fuck we are
And that's not to do with our tables who we are and I said that earlier balls. Yeah, yeah
He said it earlier. No, my stroke voice you can hear it. Yeah, I'm not talking about your show ever again
No, I hurt my feelings. I'm gonna close on that one
He's lying
He's talking about again. He won't make it through this podcast
Not making another joke. Does it really bother you the people in front of you stroke?
Of course.
But I'm a lad would piss me off.
It pisses me off.
Fuck off man.
Listen.
Oh my life.
Oh my life.
Oh my life.
There's a body.
Shut up Bob.
Bob is trying to series it inside.
Yeah.
I'm not trying to be insightful.
I'm trying to be serious.
I'm not trying to be insightful.
Yeah.
It bothers me when people talk about my list.
Yeah, bothers me.
Everybody gets offended by that.
They're human beings.
So what does that mean?
It means we've set up the rules where it's too bad.
You got to take it.
Comics, yeah.
What we all type of comics, yeah.
Yeah, take it.
Take it.
What it is.
You take it.
The oldest rule and, you know,
it's what I'm breaking balls.
You break balls, how you break balls. Some, you know, it's the one I'm breaking balls. You break balls.
How you break balls?
You don't think it goes too far sometimes?
It goes too far, but that's what you gotta take it too far.
You gotta take it too far to know it's too far.
But I think, can I say something though on this?
I disagree in one sense.
I think that by what you have to, if you're gonna fuck with somebody, a bus balls,
and I think we kinda do it naturally here,
or at the table.
We put each other over too.
So when we're out, like me and you did radio,
we're not gonna, we're not gonna,
fucking, I'm not gonna bury you.
Now, and I'm, we can make a couple jokes here and there,
but we're still gonna put each other over.
I'm gonna be in Voster Radio.
We fuck with each other, but we also laugh at each other shit
so that they know that.
Right.
That we're friends.
You can't just fucking.
Can't be.
No, I hate when people do that shit.
You can't just fucking slam slam and not listen
or not get the person over.
No, wait, wait, wait, what was that again?
I said, you can't just, what?
I know, I'm listening. No, you're right. I don't like when people do that when they throw you under the button just to, you can't just, what? I know, I'm listening.
No, you're right.
I don't like when people do that when they throw you
under the butt just to, you know.
Yeah.
You have to, you have to, so that the people know listening,
it's not like, because if I'm just sitting there smashing,
you smashing, you smashing, you smashing, you,
and me and Keith are just doing that.
People are gonna be like, oh, Vos is a fucking idiot.
Right.
But if we smash you and you smash me, and we have a good time. I just doing that. People are gonna be like, God, Vos is a fucking idiot. Right. But if we smash you and you smash me,
and we have a good time.
Well, someone out there.
I'm sorry, Navy man.
Is that disrespectful?
No, sorry sir.
That flew out of your mouth was.
What?
Nothing.
So, was that Thanksgiving joke?
I,
she said turkey.
Forget that so.
Who says, who eats turkey on a fucking Tuesday?
Vos, you're on a fucking plan. I forget that so who says who eats turkey on fucking Tuesday
You're on a fucking plan You could eat turkey on a Tuesday when you have downstairs listen. I had a chicken color. Oh good
Is it it's so fucking good? I hate when you do that. I hate when you fucking switch modes and because you know
I was gonna go so good because it's food and I love the chicken color
So you didn't get me that time your cocksucker, your little fucking tricks,
your little fucking hand tricks.
But you know what I'm saying?
Like, yeah, but here's the thing to work.
So good friends, all of us, you know, and that was good Patrice and Norton.
Sure.
And Kevin, you know, that's what we, like I said,
what the fuck, we're going to change our personalities because some fucking gem oak from the
comic strip comes down and we're going to all of a sudden be, you know, different, no,
if you're going to come, if we're going to walk into a bunch of construction guys, you
know, where they're having lunch, are we walking, we're going to have to deal with construction
guys stuff.
That's it, that's it, makes sense.
So this is what we fucking do.
And people I talked about this,
we're gonna be the same as we always were.
We're not gonna advance in this career,
but we're gonna die with our pride.
Do you think it is affected our careers?
Yes, not mine.
Yes, yes it has.
What do you get?
Yes it has, because there's people in this business
that look at guys like us, and go, oh, those were
the guys that picked on us in high school.
Yeah.
Those were the bullies.
And they daily see the aggressive stuff that comes out of it.
They don't see the heart football.
They don't see the fact that I came diapers with my kids growing up.
And I was at all their games.
And I'm 30.
I'm a good person. I'm a good person. It's at all their games and I'm 30.
I'm a good person.
I'm a good person.
It not a good person.
I thought he was, please tell me he's being ironic when he says
going all the games.
Yeah, they were good at best.
Mike's when you were joking, we were saying that you know,
Mike, I'm going to throw up.
Yeah.
I throw up.
Why?
That don't see the real balls.
Nobody exactly. They don't see what I don't. I felt fucking moment. They don't see the real balls. Nobody exactly.
They don't see what I don't.
I felt fucking moment.
They don't see the rich boss.
Might do one of those commercials.
They don't see me when I'm trying to help us,
stranded.
Like those bikers go, they don't see me
out the whole lady across the street.
When I bring toys for tots, they don't see the hellsings.
They'll say, dude, the toy runs every year.
No, my daughter makes her team wall state
That's not the point. Well, that congratulations my point it president, but still that's great Yeah, but nobody she's a good person that you'll get dad or not exactly so but you can't see also too in comedy
A lot of us are
Be bad. I can tell it's gonna be bad
I say about that.
He doesn't have it right now.
No, I'm telling you.
He's finding it.
No, I'm not finding it.
You're finding it now.
Can I tell you?
When I see you start moving stuff with your hands
and arranging stuff like you,
oh, when you put the wall, you're finding it.
You don't have it.
You're brain, this is what you have,
this is your problem, Voss.
This is what happens with you.
You start yapping and you feel like,
I'll think of something when I get there.
Oh, I got it, what is it?
When I've done interviews or on my other radio shows and your name comes up, I go probably
the nicest person in the world.
What?
Yes.
Bobby's one of the nicest.
What am I working for the Peace Corps?
What about funny?
You fucking jackass.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll take funny.
No, I would like to ask.
I'm like one of the nicest people you'll ever mean. I can't I can't look
I've been one of the funniest fucking guys out there. Okay, the biggest the biggest insult the comedy. What about Bobby Kelly?
Dude he can act one of my friend. He can ask your good actor shut up
I don't want good actor fucking
I look at you and I see drummer
I look at you and I see drummer what I'm saying
I look at you and I see Dumber
Word what I'm
That's why I say
Turkey
You finally squeeze the turkey joke and you want to call back what you never got one
That's true people
People I hate hearing you pontific eight. What was your point? You don't have a point
Lost doesn't I gotta go be an important opener at 629
It's 629
No, you said 630 you can't leave it 629
Colin has nowhere you shows not listen first of all you flies down
Your flies down yeah, he's gonna do it. He's like important first of all you shows not till 7
It's gonna do it. It's gonna be fine.
First of all, you show's not till 7th.
I know, but I gotta do my prep for my notes.
I can just say goodbye.
I'm saying goodbye right now.
No, into the microphone so I can record it.
Yeah, say goodbye.
Bye guys.
Bye.
Do you have anything to promote?
Do you have any gigs?
No, guys.
You have no gigs.
I have a couple I can't really remember them right now.
I know you'll line up.
I know what you're up to.
You have no, this is it.
No, you know, where am I? Where am I, where am I can't really remember them right now. I know you'll line up. I know you're up to You have no this is it. No, you don't where am I where am I where am I this week?
Probably fucking a rhubo again
This weekend. Yeah
This is weird. He knows my schedule
That was good. I'm in Rhode Island. I call and I love you buddy. Thanks for coming on. All right
I like you you like he says I like it. I love you buddy. Thanks for coming on. All right. I like you. You like he says I love you
Why would you say he has no ass? It's horrible. Do you see a bad idea? You know, Colin does have an awful
Miss
Jesus listen, I'm gonna be big. He was big. Oh Colin. We mean fat. No, a big he was big business
He was big in the business. He was big to fat too though.
Just, oh, bring Colin up Gary Shade Sandler Show.
No, I'll be, bring, watch this, watch this.
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We're back to the show.
See how quick that was.
Oh my God.
Oh, please.
Did anybody, I thought there were a bunch of people
that wanted to come in for today's show no and December okay great
Did you go to cat calling Quinn on that show episode episode episode
What's up? Who cares if he was yeah, I know judge people by that. Hey, they even trash me the whole time
I trash oh my gosh, you're twice what's wrong?
That what did you do?
You call me stupid, you're a cop.
You're a cop, really?
Wait, go back.
Go back.
That's last comic.
That's top left, top left.
Over, over.
No.
Yeah, there he is.
Yeah, he was a big boy.
Wasn't worth it, Clay.
Now, he gets the show, get the show. Get the video,, Clay? No, he's the one that's worth it, Clay. Now, he's the show.
Get the show.
Get the video.
Do video.
Do video.
Go to YouTube.
Just go to the video.
Just get the video.
Just go down.
Just put Gary Conquan on.
I can't put And.
But what is the joke about this?
Scroll down.
You can't see it.
Fuck it.
Just fuck it.
Deep ditch.
Get off your phone. You're doing it. I'm it. It's to just fuck it. Yeah deep bitch get off your phone
You're doing you're doing I'm done. It's over
We just got lost what the you baby?
Whoa, what do you want your mouth? You can't talk to women like that anymore? You cannot talk no, you can't that that's even worse as worse
Don't talk about precious white woman like that
I don't talk about precious white woman like that
Pressure you can't call a precious white woman deep dish
Deep discount not pizza you dumb dumb. Oh, you really you know, it's so funny. You fucking all the assos lose steam 40 minutes in
Yeah, you dig you lost steam
Deep digital yeah, it's deep discount you fucking dummy deep
Exactly
Jesus christ we carried this one again
We got to do this again. You didn't carry nothing Vos
You didn't hold anything with those hands
Why is your bother me you did a fucking fat joke when you promise we wouldn't do a Fat joke. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, you did
Yeah, I didn't have turkey what are you talking turkey shooting out of my nose is in a fat joke? No, that at all
Why's your voice get high? You know what bosses line he starts singing in sentences
We have to go to the Ron Bennington thing tonight. Yeah, we don't have to it's gonna be fun. I
Love it. I love Ron show where yes
Hard rock hard rock. Oh, yeah, you want to go? No, why?
What are you doing to want to go? No, why? Because I don't. What do you do tonight? I'm gonna shoot you to him.
There's enough. Enough white guy shit.
What the fuck does that mean?
It's white guy shit.
What's white guy shit?
What y'all gonna do is white guy shit.
You can go over to counterline some shorter
some black show there tonight.
It's a couple of blocks right here.
What's black guy shit?
What?
What is black guy shit?
It's black guy shit.
Pull over.
It's a black guy shit black guy shit ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha uh... uh... darrell hanna she goes who's that uh... why would you tell her that
are people supposed to know
no who she looks like
now why would you know why would you know daryl hanner
that was a lot of the book art is
well first of all you said you're like that's because you want to have to
with them
first of all little fucking snitch
you're right i did say splash
okay what a little
he doesn't say one word of the whole podcast and all the 70 fucking
does is he said, he said,
Taffy's dad him with a fucking toothbrush. What I'm saying with a toothbrush.
What do you want?
Yes, because he's snitch.
So I was on your side stupid.
There you go. The hired help call me stupid
Where Mexican I am right now
He said you dress like a Mexican you miss more Mexican than him right now, oh cuz I can't get kicked out of the country
I'm loving it at bomb
Yeah
Billed up
My game
I know you'll remember when when Ben Bailey keep going when Ben Bailey came in on the fucking
Patrice Rouse and just fucking killed from all the years that we know we don't remember that we remember him
Bob and after him whoa your bomb the best blah blah. Oh, don't please don't maybe bring it up. Please bring it up. Please don't bring it up
The best thing when they turned the lights out and he was like, I don't give a shit
That's black shit right there. That was that was that's black shit. It's just like tin cup
People remember that
Okay, they don't like what tin cup when in the movie where he on the 18th hole where he kept what going for the grunt of fucking
Renee rooster said if you wouldn't want the open big deal, but now everybody remember you getting your 12
He's quote Renee Russo
Yes, and 10 cup on golf movie
He only got me is
You only got me you can ever quote his his cat you! He only got one ear you can have a quarter is...
His catty shack!
If you ever gonna quote a golf movie,
you know, Renee Rousseau?
Yeah!
And Tin Cup!
I'm gonna y'all seem Tin Cup!
You know, Lone!
Kees, you know, fucking Lone!
He is from the road!
You'll be all alone in fucking two years! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That was pretty fine. You really are on the fucking clothes to stand on the corner, fucking third in McDougal,
just shaking a can.
Nah, nah, nah.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, don't go, no.
Say, say what?
Say, we had a great time we're out of here.
Oh, we what time, just go, tell?
We have around 20 more minutes.
Which 20 more minutes?
Fuck that.
I'm out of here. What do you them? Fuck that. I'm outta here.
What do you want?
What do you have to do?
Why do you hold your audience hostage just so long?
A podcast supposed to be an hour.
It's not my audience.
It's my guest, dummy.
Where's your guest at?
You are.
We are.
What the fuck?
This is the dumbest show ever fucking put together.
The three dummies.
That's what we should call it.
The three dumb dummies.
Smart.
You're not smart.
Definitely not smart.
You're not even dressed smart.
Talk about it.
Tint and cup.
You dress like you fucking airbrushing some with it.
I'm not.
Fucking suck.
I don't don't redo my joke.
Okay.
I know.
I fucking sucks.
But you can't do an hour 20. You can't do 20 more minutes.
No, we can't. First of all, it's been an hour and 12 right now.
Yeah. That was 12. I guess they're supposed to be an hour long walk.
No, they're really the study show.
Well, you've never read a study on anything. No, 32 minutes.
Who said that?
The study show. No, that's the line. 26 32 minutes. No,
six podcasts. You always get your late. So it's gonna be 32 minutes.
Whoa. Wow. That was racist. That was racist. That was just
sad. Okay. So that was black podcast. Here's what I said. Well,
you tried to squeeze a black top podcast is what should be? No, I don't like that. Let's do it.
25.4 minutes.
Boom!
Even if someone misses.
That's not.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. we're not gonna say mean shit to each other. Now I don't like that
25.4 minutes
Even if someone doesn't
Listen to podcast that's you're going over all the
Time is what people listen to how I can eat it You gotta gotta know this stuff man. I know what I'm talking about
You know what you fucking tired make me annoyed. I'm not tired. You seem tired. No, I'm not
All right, so I'm gonna just know I'm podcast. You don't know shit
You probably just read that on the way in and brought it up. You got lucky
I don't know how to read you read
I don't know how's read you're right. I don't know how you do that.
I'm always together.
How's everybody doing?
Everybody alright?
Everybody alright?
This is so good.
I'm not fuck.
I'm gonna wrap this up.
He's getting, he's getting, I'm gonna do it.
Why don't we have a dish when they root so right here in Tinkup.
Why don't we have a,
I remember that movie.
That's a costner had hair. I've railed a discussion of what?
Let's get some real discussion.
What year was that, by the way, 1997?
Look, I'm not interested in 10 fucking cops.
But it's, but it's real.
It's 20 years ago.
It's a 20 year old movie he's bringing up as a reference.
Yeah, but why?
Is that too old?
It's a golf movie from 20 years ago that didn't
mediocre. No, they always rerun it on the golf channel. That mean, that's the channel
we're on every weekend. We usually call each other on the phone. Do you watch in this?
That's all. Look at Renee Russo. Can you get your phone off the table because it's vibrating?
Renany Russo's not hot. Hello. Don't answer the phone on the show. I
Wish she was here. Why don't invite her? Can I call you back? We're almost done. We're wrapping it up.
I'm doing Bobby put it on the pot put it on the speaker hold on hold on. I'll put you up speaker
No, go ahead. Bonnie wants what's it talk to you?
Bonnie.
I watched 10 cups.
What?
Does Rich make you watch shitty movies from the 90s?
Well, he makes you watch movies that they always have to have like a gun in the post
search.
Why?
Because you like to get shot at. like a gun in the post-cert. I'm wearing a coat of the hat. I'm wearing a coat of the hat.
Why?
Because she likes to get shot at.
I don't know.
She's like, I don't know what it is.
Move you with the big horn and her jail cell is back.
I'll get it.
Who else is in the car? Who are I heard laughing I hope it's Lewis Gomez
all right Romeo me you uptown Bonnie Bonnie Bonnie Bonnie Why is rich dressing like a cholo? I like flannels. I got. I was like, have you been watching a lot of them? It's bunching the time now.
That's how you're supposed to wear a flannel.
No, you're not.
I thought you said you liked it the other night.
Who?
You fucking schizophrenic.
I forget how this broke.
Oh, hey, Keith.
It's Keith.
Keith.
Oh, Keith, you'll pay anything just to get away from you.
Hey, Bonnie, what do you think about Bonnie?
What do you think about all the stuff going on with Louis?
You made me hang up on my wife.
I didn't make you do anything. I wouldn't have done how. All right, let's wrap this up. What?
What I'm gonna wrap it up nice website boss. Who did you website?
Oh, that that's a great where is that that's the same place that Dave us with show the special right?
I shot my I didn't hear it but I shot an hour special same place. No, that's a
Stress factory, but I put my own backdrop drop oh you did that look nice so what's up what do you got coming up yeah this week and i'll
be at the best club in the world it isn't how great is it don't at the comedy
connection and and providence wrote island yep
quarry you know the sun club owners that watch and care and yep love comedy
yep i mean by he i only by like four club owners to my roast. He was one of them. Right.
Just a great guy. The club is great. It's it's set up perfect. Yeah. So I'm at the also too. I think December 8th and 9th. I'm at the
Velvito room in Austin. That's great. Velvito room. that's great. It's fucking cool room. To, uh, uh, room. Great one.
Come on, stop belching.
Buddy, I can't help it.
I'm gonna see you now with that.
Come to CBE, comedy connection or in Austin
that the Velvita room December 8th and 9th.
Oh, man.
You've got to reach Vos,
the Velvita comedy.
That was called out of, I don't know, dude.
I'm just fucking trying to, I'm trying to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go other. I work you work with Jesus Christ. What the fuck? I've been working 30 years. I remember
everybody's open for me. Thirty three more. And little more. No, 33. You've been working
more than anybody in this room. I know I got 31 years sober and I did it like two years
before that. Okay. You don't remember the little machine mic. Well, what club?
LOL. Fantonia. Fucking club. The guy does no advertisements's the biggest club. He's a billionaire. Is he?
He oh, they use her own lock went to ends his family and so on. Yeah, look king to it
Whatever, of course you would know how would you not know it with that outfit
Have you ever done that room? Have you ever done the big one with a with a no
Yes, I've done the big room. I see by the movie theater
I say and you go up the escalator
And you see you see a line and you're like excited, but then you realize they're going to see
And the dog to see you
That whole property he does. Oh, hey, what do you want?
Well, I want some advertisement when I have a cheat bearing
Oh Jesus Christ. What?
What?
Fucking lester.
You can't say it unless you got it.
I got it.
You don't.
You don't have it.
You try to catch it mid-air.
Sometimes I do.
You do.
Sometimes you do.
A lot of times you don't.
The last one of the funniest in a business.
Thank you for having me.
I'll say it.
One of the funniest. What do you got there, Keith?
What?
Where are you?
I'm at also at the Velvita room.
No, you're not.
You'd never be, you'd never,
if something, the Velvita room,
who's gonna give me, like, beat it.
You'd hang out, I don't like cheese, motherfucker.
I got a 24, man.
I'm in a, you didn't even have a website.
Yes, down.
What do you mean down?
It's not down. I couldn't afford it. It cut it all. Are you kidding me? No, I'm fucking, yes, I'm in a you don't have a website. Yes down. What do you mean down? It's not good for it. It cut it all are you kidding me?
No, I'm fucking yes. I'm kidding you. Oh, but it is
You know what I'm trying to put it back on it's gonna put it back on who's they?
Who's they you suck?
Who the team who's your team you never fucking team stop talking like it Kevin Hart or the rock?
All right Jack asked from Philly. Shit.
Good boy. No, my team is putting them back up now. Who's it? You don't fucking kid. I'm gonna hit you with a bottle. I'm You don't have a team. You don't have a team. Absolutely. You don't have a team. What who's in your team? My name one person in your team Joey?
Who's in your team name one person in your team Joey?
Joey and who else Mike Mike Mike Mike. No, he don't have a Mike Mike. Yeah, Joey and Mike Mike. You don't have any fucking team with that bladder with that diabetes fucking pre diabetes asshole go
God, this is the fucking word. You know what this show he's saying he's got? Oh God, this is the fucking word.
You know what, this show, he's saying he's gonna team.
His website is down.
He says his website is down, which is impossible.
No, my team is going to be a big part of it.
It costs $2 to keep your website up a month.
You have a team?
No, he doesn't have a team.
I do have a team.
He says Joey and Mike Mike is his team.
Nobody is a team. Who Joey and Mike Mike is his team
Nobody is a team who's your team? I just told you Joey Mike what is Mike Mike do Luther?
Nobody named Luther does web stuff. He's in the warriors. Yeah
Jackass what is your website? What's the name of your website?
Don't worry about I'm trying to promote you
Are you on Twitter? Yes, I'm on what your net what your Twitter name?
One key for I'm one I am because I'm the number one mother fucking key for I was in that
Jesus oh shit. He got yeah, he got street. Oh there he's right there always with this. That's a good shot Where you where your kid is my son. That's good. I keep seeing you.
I'm sorry.
How old is he?
Good.
18.
No, it's 23.
23?
You can date their press of right girl over there.
You can't really?
I'm 23.
Oh, you're 23?
Yeah.
What's the oldest guy you've ever been with?
Oh, 39.
No fucking life.
Oh, gee.
There's actually a funny story about that that I can not say on it.
Oh wow. I want to hear it.
I'm not gonna get any story yet.
You can't let your markers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, her mentor.
That's like my dad.
Yeah.
But that who wasn't my dad thing, that was who, Lenny thing.
No, he wasn't.
She's done a Lenny's shoulders without a shirt on.
Lenny is a precious angel.
He really is.
He's speaking of Lenny.
He's got a brand new podcast. Won't you promote that?
Yeah. Four corners.
Watch it. It's amazing.
It's on riotcast.com.
It's also on iTunes.
Brand new podcast called Four Corners.
I'm starting my podcast too.
What is that?
With Lenny Marcus, what's your
score? I'll start my team.
Your team with who?
With who?
BB Mike Mike Luther Luther I'll start my team. Your team with who? With who? BB.
Mike Mike.
No, Luther.
Luther.
And Joey and Joey.
What?
And team.
Where is your team from?
The Mafia?
Joey and Mike Mike?
Billy's quiet.
Hey, who's that?
Yo, I don't want to say this too.
Free meek meals.
Who's that?
You don't know meek meals?
No. Fuck this shit, man. Who's meek meals? Does anybody know who meek mills who's that you don't know meek mills. No fuck this shit man. Who's make mells?
Does anybody know who meek mills is who is it?
What is it rapper what do you do you did meek mill songs and do nothing?
Well, why do we have to free him it because he's in jail right now? So what was he in jail for what's he in jail for?
Parole about volition so he's in jail because he broke parole. No, I'm not freeing anybody.
He was just riding a bike.
Yeah, well, he shouldn't be doing it if he's not,
he's did he ride out of the air?
You just like this regular white guy.
All right, come on, you been in jail before?
You know, I'm a fuck you free, free motherfucker.
Who, what's his name, meet me?
Meek Mill's, meek, you know.
Free meek Mill.
Just go check my fuckers riding a bike
that wasn't his drink.
No, he's, he's with a gun.
No, no, no, no, there we go.
He's a millionaire. What do you do? I told you what he did. It is. So they arrested
for just riding the bike. The judge was full of shit. Okay. The judges full of shit. She was on
them too much and she sent me to jail for some little shit. Throw down a little bit. What?
Let's go down. Right in the bike. He's riding this dirt bike going whatever and then oh dirt bike.
Yeah.
And she's throwing gel.
And so free mick mills and filly balls, sadly, there are black folks going through the same
uh radicalized injustice within the justice system.
Yeah.
That meek meek meek meek mills has experienced for over a decade.
Every single day this requires more than just why you're
ready to perform why you lost soccer, what you think of the
rise of the Swift. Oh, well, I'm trying to read it with emphasis.
No, just reading your voice. Not mine. I'll read.
Let me try it again. Go ahead. Do it.
And saying thing that you did deep dish, whatever.
Sadly, there are black people black folk going through the same
radical injustices within
the justice system that Meek Mills has experienced for over a decade, every single, darshtay.
Darshtay.
This requires more than just gradual reform and laws.
Black people.
Can't do it a white person.
What?
You want a black comic, do a white person.
Why don't you do it then, read it.
I can't read.
Why?
I wear my head of bale. Real like an essay. Why don't you do it then read it? I can't read why?
I wear my head of bill real like an essay. Yo sadly sadly up in this small file. Let me see it again Read like you read balls read it. Don't don't get really there are black folks going through the same radicalize
injustices within the justice system that meek mills has experienced for over a decade
every single day.
This requires more than just gradually forming laws requires a swift overhaul.
Yeah, very good.
You dig what I'm saying, my fuck.
Nobody talks like that.
Nobody talks like that.
Nobody.
Me and BB.
Mike Mike Mike.
Mike Mike. All right.
So here's my dates, the 30th.
30th is first and second.
I'll be at the San Diego American comedy company, which I'm very excited about.
Please, if you live in California, come down and see me in San Diego on November 30th through
the second.
And then I'm going straight to a LL comedy club with my mushy Mike. We're going to be there for
the A. She Mike is in a house. She might kick the last day. The best eight nine and ten.
You'll mic Mike. And then the new Yonkers comedy club, a new owner, new everything over
in Yonkers. I'm going to be doing one night there there and then I go to my happy theater with Mike Calta,
who I love, and then the brokerage bell more
on that Saturday.
That's three nights in a row, one in Yonkers,
one in Tampa, I mean, St. Pete,
and then the next night in the brokerage comedy club,
which I love those guys over there.
And then Gotham, I'm gonna be there for Christmas.
So if you wanna do, if you Jewish,
yeah, I know if you're anybody go see Bobby. He's gonna kill
It's gonna be a great. Oh, what a good guy you are
No, I listen if he does well you do well my friends do well. We all do well. Please support all of us
I want to thank
Gabby
Gaby
Hey, what's up? Gabby what's your Twitter? What do you got? I've Instagram. It's Gabby is Brian and then next week
I'm gonna be at asbury in as, New Jersey at the same. I love that bus. It's gonna be a fun comedy show
You know you know the same. Oh, yeah, it's great. Yeah, it was on a show
I don't know. I was the same. He used to drive the Volvo P 1800. He's your old reference. It's me old
It's just Mike out this big show. He does every year. Yeah, it's fucked said he was gonna put me on it
Are you worried about him? I'm gonna call him now me all is this my Calthus be so he does every year yeah this fuck said he was going to put me on it
are you worried about him i'm gonna call him now call him he said all you'll do the next one
can you get him on air i'm gonna get him on air right now um also if you want to
I'm gonna call my calthus go ahead quickly if you want to send fan stuff um send it to YKWD
podcast uh the comedy seller 117 McDougal Street New York New York 112 to send fan stuff, send it to YKWD podcast, the comedy seller, 117 McDougal
Street, New York, New York, 112, send us fan stuff, or if you want to come to one of
the shows and sit on the couch, email YKWDproducer at ryecast.com.
Yeah, people, a lot of people are on their couch right now.
Yeah, we have a bunch of people here now.
We actually had a bunch of people email today, too, want to come in.
That's true. Yeah, so we do have a lot of people that come in,
which is we do the night shows.
Well, there's no one here now.
Yeah, well, leave them.
I would leave them a message.
How do you want to leave them a message?
Okay, I'll call them back.
Call them back.
Follow us on our new Instagram,
YKWDude podcast.
That's the one that's currently active.
We have one.
We don't use any more.
Yeah.
So we got going on there.
Also, when you email us at YKWD producer, send us any videos you make. Up. So it's second Michael.
D-D-Rabber. You're on live YKWD. Yeah. I know, Joe. I was doing all the time.
Thank you, buddy. I love your show, too. Your show is the number one show. Yeah, what about what about walls? Oh hold on Mike how you been it's Voss rich Voss has a bone to pick what you Mike Mike
Now here's the thing I think Mike and every time I go to his area I go on a show
We have a great time. Yes one of the best shows. Yeah, I was doing a podcast once. Yep. And I was just
naming radio hosts that I love. And for some reason I for I slipped and did not say his name.
But he knows I do. No, it's worse than that. It's worse than that. Why? It was a podcast.
It was a magazine or a course. No, no, no. It no no let him finish
you not only did not
you mentioned
like some other shit shows
no no it was what you
will tell you who it was it was a
podcast it was this guy
uh... chuck something
they turn it into an article
but you're right i did i did
forget you you know you know i'm a big fan of yours, but that's okay
Even if you don't think so you know I am
Before you what you say you're a big you're a big fan of my cops is when you want to go golfing in Florida
No, that's not true when he was I when he was coming up to series. I remember trying to get him
Into something on here. What is the point now the point is the point is I also harbor resentment
But it's your so last year to you before you said you were gonna put me on your next big show
And then when I tweeted you you never responded
now that's okay if i don't do your big show that that's all right
but i don't want to burn the bridge if i'm ever in your area again
you know i don't know that i'm completely never heard
i'm a huge response and i always thought your point since
that's how i'm standing with the first time
but you want to hear the worst thing i'm
i'm walking up the hill and i'm standing with you first time. But you want to hear the worst thing. I'm walking up the hill.
It's tough to ask Jesus Christ.
You don't want to go out of the water.
You're doing good, buddy.
Keep going, OK?
Thank you, Bobby.
And if you want to do the show, I'd be happy to.
I tell you, it's just like don't book any other
actual show on the side of Prove it.
Oh, no, here's here's the thing.
I'm booked.
No, that's absolutely true.
That's true. But here's the deal. I'm booked this year, but I'm just saying next year, consider me just
consider me because I would love to come down and do this. So for next year when you're
the only December 13th, if you want to go, we're still planning it out. I'd love to have you.
I'll please book lost. I can't. I'm booked. I'm booked. The fit. You got to cancel it. I already booked my flight and cancel it in Ohio. I can't do that to a club.
Cancel them. No, they would like that club would like. I can't say the club to do it. I would love to do it, but I'm making like four grand at the club. And you know what I mean?
I don't want to don't cancel the club. But next year when you do it and listen, I swear to God guy forgot and you know uh... i hope we still have a relationship
scaring a much of them because i'm a big i'm a big fan
and he knows
i'm kidding i think you wish flying for the rest of the life
like jokler
i can't hear from the show
but uh...
but the whole thing is that uh... i was just lost your boss and i really don't
give a shit about
uh... i don't expect every day from going to meet all kinds.
All right, well great, listen, we gotta run.
Anyhow.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
All right, listen, Mike, please don't die up the hill.
Take it slow.
Oh, my head's top of the hill.
How many can you, I'm 35 pounds lighter.
I can't see you see it, but by the way, so.
Did you really lose 35 pounds?
Yeah, I really did. Why you letting Bobby book your show? Jesus Christ. Found later Did you really lose 35 pounds?
Why you letting Bobby book your show
Jesus Christ he's gonna put on anybody he could follow of course You're gonna yeah Bobby who's gonna put on his fucking knees flunk. He's not working his fucking podcast
What can that a no-legged
I just I just beg I said yeah put false on I literally just went yeah put
false on you and I'm wrecked and I'm getting I'm working I'm working a
fucking T-bone sauce very steak place oh really fucking food
I like I love you buddy I'll talk to you later can we go talk to you later Mike I
I love you buddy, I'll talk to you later. Can we go talk to you later Mike?
I did forget it.
I did some dumb thing with Cadillac.
Yeah, that's it.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
You know what, dude?
Ha ha ha. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
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