Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rich Vos, Kerryn Feehan, Raanan Hershberg | Black Hole

Episode Date: April 10, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:29 Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitalo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informate en caixabank.es. Caixa Bank, tú y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las de circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. The fact that YKW did podcast, YKW did back again Old school back in the day, we're all starting before them all YKW did podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules
Starting point is 00:01:14 Shut up, you're ruining this! Rhythm or a hammer, I'm sorry, it's a comedy podcast This is an NPR, that's the podcast done! Is there any better show? This is the original original. It's the original. It's the original. It's the original.
Starting point is 00:01:28 It's the original. It's the original. It's the original. It's the original. It's the original. Hey, what's up everybody? It's Robert Kelly. We're back at the studio above the comedy show,
Starting point is 00:01:37 laugh button comedy show, studios. Stop looking at the camera. Like you've never done TV before. I mean, the picture is done. Yeah, I didn't even know it was a camera over there. Your mic's not working. Good. That over there. You're Mike's not working. Good, that's not my fault. It's not working.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Everybody, I want to thank all the Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, ladybugs. I want to say a special shout out to Sarah who, boss, she died. No, I wasn't told about Sarah. She's dead. Can I fuck, I really feel bad about this. It was terrible. Sarah, I wasn't told about Sarah. She's dead. Can I fuck I really feel bad about this. It was terrible. Sarah. She was part of into bang. She went to all she knows. You know her. It's so sad. Why are these mics known on guys? It's so sad. Sorry. It is. It was me. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:02:17 I'm sure you did too. You knew her. She was so nice. It felt like that's biggest smile. Karen Fihian, Robert, uh, Rich Voss here tonight. You're gonna be two people with hearts first. Why you dress like, uh, you're wearing a white shirt. You look a slutty, Jackie O. First of all, we both look like we're a nice couple. You look like, well, what are you dressing for? Oh, no, I just fell on my golf shirt, but I like that coat. Why, you, how disconnected are you?
Starting point is 00:02:44 I know you're a bad guy. That we're talking about somebody who passed away, and you start smashing her about her outfit. So on my golf shirt, but I like that code. Why, how disconnected are you? I know. That we're talking about somebody who passed away and you start smashing her about her outfit. I like her outfit. But. Good, good counter. See?
Starting point is 00:02:54 And what do you think Sarah was wearing when she died? Oh my God, you sicko. What's wrong with you? Oh, no, we're, yes. You do. From where, from where? Can we bring up a picture of her please?
Starting point is 00:03:04 You'll know her, you'll see your teeth and you'll know where right away. Jesus Christ. Oh, that's sad. I won't but she. It's not that she's she was a huge comedy fan. Okay, listen man, but one of the nicest people, she used to come to the J.O.P. party all the time. She was one of the ladybugs, but she was part of every, the bonfire, Bennington, ONA.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Oh, really? She loved, you and Bonnie, she loved comedy so much. Like, skank fast. She would like lose her mind. Like, love, legion of skank. Dave Shephow was at the stand. She flew in from wherever she was to come. She loved comedy.
Starting point is 00:03:43 She's seen me so many times, but not in her own. She's driven. She came to Detroit to see me, Jay and Ari. And I feel so bad. Really? And she passed away. That's what it was like a week ago. It was a week ago.
Starting point is 00:03:54 And after it, I wanted to pick two really passed away. No, we're just lying about a fucking someone dying. Yeah. She's dead. She's from what? I'm gonna get there. Can we fucking, she's dead. This is how you start a show off?
Starting point is 00:04:09 Well, you started it off that way. I didn't start off bringing it up. Someone who died, no, because you were looking at the camera. I was looking at those pictures. When you said to studio, I looked over there. I didn't look at the camera. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. I mean, I don't know if you would start off like that.
Starting point is 00:04:24 If you're watching on YouTube, hit the subscribe button, please support the show by just subscribing. You want to really be a supporter. You can go and support me at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. I want to thank all you guys. And I want to say, you know, Sarah was the best that I'm going to miss her.
Starting point is 00:04:40 She really was. She showed up at every study. Pretty, but it's not even that. She't it is she's pretty but she didn't hurt Yeah, she was really nice to look at but her energy was so positive. I mean she's not my type, but the thing is Yeah, that she was such a nice sweet Like this Such a nice sweet Star so off like this. How do this is life? This is what we're supposed to do. This is life. You do that at the end. You talk about it. I can't tell you why he knows nobody's gonna listen That why would you attack me? No, no, I didn't I was I was letting you talk. No, yeah, you said no one's gonna make it through I was letting you talk. They make it through it takes them a week
Starting point is 00:05:23 I was letting you talk they make it through it takes him a week I don't have a short dress to wiggle in for leave no matter reslips alone. Oh I'm sorry. I Like Karen her me. Yeah, me. Okay. Just then lips She doesn't have a thin lip bottom. Let's talk about on her face. Oh What do you like? What do you fucking only fans remember? Oh, you get afford me. Oh, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:05:53 This is, can we just go back to Sarah, please? Is it the dead girl? It's not a dead girl. Her name is Sarah and she was a beautiful fan of yours. I'm a man, Bonnie. Yes. I'm sure Bonnie. I love you, girl. Yeah. No, I'm telling you to. Listen to our Bonnie. Yes, well, Bonnie. I'm sure. I love you. Yeah. No, I'm telling you
Starting point is 00:06:06 to listen to our podcast. Yes. My wife hates me. Yeah. On left button. Oh God. Yes. She's plugging. No, why are you wearing camouflage? What the fuck? Yes, it is. It's a distraction. Hey, is that hang coming towards us? No, no, that's mean. I haven't seen anything mean to Bob in a long time. He just did. You said something meeting me hung up on me two days ago. I didn't hang up on you two days.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Oh, yeah, when you were talking about some show or something, machete or something or something. I can't. A machete? I can't. I hate him. Yeah, yeah. One of my best friends, I can't stand. Stand up.
Starting point is 00:06:47 So please, go to stand. Are I go find me or something for the family or for? What she married? Yeah, there is. The stand tweeted a go find me for her. The stand? Why the stand? I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just gonna take that money and buy more pizza dough. No, I got good pizza. What's she married? To the comedy game? To comedy.
Starting point is 00:07:10 She loved it. She was the best. I hung out with her. I bet she slept in the lot of comics. I used to. She didn't. What? She didn't sleep in a lot of comics.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I swear to God. All right. Yeah, well, you have. That's it. I was like, are you gonna save my cuz you tried? No, I never tried Bobby's married. I know I know just I don't head shot if you get a head shot a mouth I don't want your hopes and dreams. I don't have to fake listen to you and Good that's a good rule if you have a head shot. It's always been my roof since that even back when I was smoking hot I was like I don't I don't want to be with anybody with with a head shot
Starting point is 00:07:45 I don't want to have to know what didn't have ambition. I could have You know ambition than me. No, like to be no one has more vision than you No, but she I'm sorry. She like I'm as more mission than you and tattoos and tattoos and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and put in RV. No, you like I bought an RV. No, you did. I bought an A started new life. No, it's a mini A class. No, I bought an RV because he wanted one. So I bought one. No, you got some. I'm going to let it rot in a fucking yard. You don't have an RV. I do. You would have a picture of it if you had one. No, I would you want an RV? That's his dream. That's the each city that Bonnie sells a new show. Yeah, a little RV not a big one.
Starting point is 00:08:45 He wants a little RV because he knows that the day's coming when Bonnie's gonna give him a hot one. Well you and Bonnie's just gonna fly off into the distance. Oh, and he's gonna have to have a house. Why not? I don't, listen. I would love to travel around in an RV and do one nighters and play golf. Yeah, and just pull into a fucking park a lot and go to bed. Oh, your dream is literally most people's like,
Starting point is 00:09:10 this is what I want to get out of. It's a bit of a plot of pretty woman. You want to be a hooker. No, I'm just saying, you know, don't you, isn't it fucking all the responsibilities we have? It's just so fucking. what responsibility do you have? Mortgage insurance kids where the fuck do you want me to stop? I can keep going hitting at me. Can we stop there? I'm sorry. I didn't see you in your camouflage stop
Starting point is 00:09:39 Stop stop one half the gums out of your mouth. Yeah, fucking beauty just this Diablo burger with a doctor pepper to go. I'm gonna got a dim hurry. No, shut up, person of all. You know you got all the responsibilities. Yeah, but can I say something? Yeah, they're rewarning. They're what you work for in life.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Yes, but I have another wedding coming up to pay for. I have, you know, there's so much shit, responsibilities. Then sell you a fucking watch, I'll give you, I'll give you a 158 right now. How much cash? You know, first of all, you know, 158 right now, you know, like, guy, you know, I can't sell it.
Starting point is 00:10:14 You can't after a month, you can, legally, you know, you know, my jeweler will know, and I'll never sell to me again. You know, I don't want to talk about the watch. I don't want to talk about the watch. You know, do I want to talk about your little hands? You got another ring. No, I didn't know that one by accident I hope you get robbed tonight. Oh, God. Is that nice? Yeah, it's fucking great. I would love to see some guy running down the street with your hand I hope it's your my hand
Starting point is 00:10:44 I hope it's your my can I like that when I liked it I Would Sarah of like that no Dude you can't You're gonna suck me to the dead girl or the watch for the next hour. No, you make my posture just sink. No, I don't for the night's hour. No. You make my posture just sink. No, I'm just having a thing. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:11:05 No, I'm not. You can't, Sarah, I'm telling you, man. I thought she would have laughed at that. Can I finish my fucking sentence? She was. She was. Can I just finish my sentence about her and we can move on?
Starting point is 00:11:15 Okay. She was a real, real fucking beautiful comedy fan. She used to come into the JOP, and you know those people of the JOP. We're such a jerk off party. You've been in in it and they're very vicious and mean and crazy. She would come in and fucking be nice and not change who she is. She was the nicest person ever. She saw me, I've hung out with her after shows.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I feel terrible because after the Detroit show, I, she texted me that she's there. I got fucked up. I wanted to go get mom spaghetti with her in Kevin. And I just got caught up and I forgot to call her back. Oh, God. And I got so terrible about that. She nice. I'd say that if you have extra gluten and prevent
Starting point is 00:12:00 tartatai. So she had had that pasta with you. I don't think she had a hard time. I would have saved her life. She'd probably still be here today. Really? I hope you don't be gluten. Just kidding.
Starting point is 00:12:13 So. I feel sad. I feel sad, because I mean, I'm not saying that. I know everybody's going to story after this. You didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it. Everybody's going to story about ignoring her. No. This is. How can I? Why? Why? Why? With you two. You didn't do it on purpose. I don't know. Everybody's gonna serve out ignoring her. No
Starting point is 00:12:32 Why why why with you two you're just a mini you're a mini him with no rings Can I do the same size hands and I've one of those chairs? They're not doing anything with them. Oh, what are you gonna do? What do you get in there? Hold pet your little Yorkie? Can I know what are you gonna do with that chair? I'm gonna sit you with it, make $40. We're gonna do one tonight, come on. Big 40,000 a month. Come on, who are you gonna do some me-ship? You don't like those? I like the little ones.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Maybe I'll take one of those. Do you understand that? Can I just stop the show right now, Karen? Yeah. Do you see how his brain works? Yeah. We're talking about this thing, and then it is fucking brain.
Starting point is 00:13:04 He goes, can I have a chair? Who fucking does that? A beggar. Somebody can't afford a fucking roll out. A beggar. You are. You're a beggar. You're a fucking beggar. I didn't ask for both of them. I can't wait till Bonnie dumps you in your We had the same dreams Just you and you a classy Camper begging people from fucking shit. Hey, can I get that chair? Yeah, then I'm relevant look nice in front of my my camper He's gonna have a beggar dog
Starting point is 00:13:47 shoes. He's gonna have a beggar dog. Bigger vans. Stinks. Who wants to? Who asked for a chair? And look at him. They're nicely carved or old. They match a lot of my pictures. What do you mean they match them? 17th century Renaissance. Renaissance. Poor shit. Victorian. The Victorian, whatever. Those are not that era. That is a Moroccan theme chair.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I get that. That's what it is. Listen, those chairs would match in a Victorian setting. Yeah, would it? Yeah, I hate you. I can't share or want you to give me one of those chairs. I said, no, my chairs. I don't own the fucking building.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Who owns a chair? Those are gnomes chairs. Oh, what does that mean? Because he's another Jew, you're not going to get it. No, I'm just not going to go up to a stranger. I'm just saying I have a chair. You know gnome, he's your friend. Yeah, I know, but still.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Whatever. Anyhow, you're working together. Yeah, I know, but still. Whatever. Anyhow, we're working together. Yeah, we do a big show. I'm actually really excited. Two nights at the Seneca Casino. That's gonna be fun. The Bears Den, it's Robert Kelly and his friends. It would have been funner if you didn't take my watch.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I didn't take your watch. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We're gonna rent the camper. We're gonna drive a camper. We'll drive my camper up. First of all, your camper's a new hamster. You're lying camper.
Starting point is 00:15:09 It's in my driveway here. You said it was a new hamster. Oh my God. You should get a camper. If you make extra money. Yeah, you can go ahead. I'll put a pole in the bag. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:23 We could all do it. Yeah. I'll write it out together. There's got to be somebody who's into this. What's that? Me. Is Mark podcast for me. We call it the only sapper.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Can't press. Is that what I'm going to call the fa- What would I be on the internet? What would this be? If you're looking for me, what would you type in on the- B-E-L-U.G.A. B-E-L-E. Blue,
Starting point is 00:15:50 Baloochi. What's that mean? Balooca. I mean, it's a whale. Oh, not that that wasn't nice. What I should have said is, Boba, no, listen. B-E-L-E-B-R-I-T-Y. I'm bored. It was not
Starting point is 00:16:10 What I'm just connected He said blue blue Chey I would have been good Under I would look under Kindhearted what headliner Yeah, that's what people want to come to. Yeah. Well, yeah. A Nile.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Way back to come with her. A mild tempered. Dude, your expert is something you get to fucking. I'm your head, I mean. 10,000 hours. Holy shit. 10,000 hours. It's a lot.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Did your sister get married? Over the pandemic, yeah. Well, what's the, how does Well, how does your brain work? I need to know. So I wanted to start being an I know that the fight is a point of what there is. If I wanted to talk to Karen about Sarah for 10, 15 minutes, we could go into it,
Starting point is 00:16:56 we could go back and forth with stuff. And she'd have a conversation with me. You have fucking, you have ping ponged and pinballed, your brain, you went, Yeah, you have adult ADD HD I think. Yes, you do. That's almost different now. It's all timers.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Oh. See, it's me, you're mad. What do you want to know? Me? You. Oh, there's no reason to attack. I buddy. I swear it.
Starting point is 00:17:23 There's no reason. You know, I'm so glad you have a spot. The problem is when you point to finger at me, you're pointing three back at your show. When you point to finger at somebody, you're pointing three little things back at you. This feels like the backro of an AA meeting. We're all talking shit. Anyways, listen, here's what are you drinking? What the fuck I am not at small talking with you. Okay, let's get some stuff. I'm trying to But you can have a chair. Is she get mad? What are you drinking? I finished the thought can I finish the thought? Yeah, so can I plug the fucking day give it hell I put it up
Starting point is 00:18:02 Seneca casino the bears done me rich, Voss, the legend and the rattlesnake. Why'd you look at me when you said that? You know, uh, Lewis Gomez. Lewis J Gomez. So, uh, wow. I can't believe we're playing in a place you sleep. Very good.
Starting point is 00:18:22 He's back. He's back. But wait a second. I heard it's a great room. Lewis J Gomez. It's going to be a great room. Very good He's back I heard it's a great room Louis J. Gomez. It's gonna be a great room Joe's gonna open And then we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do But it's gonna be a fun weekend and we should figure out Joe's gonna come up We're gonna be vlogging the whole weekend. Yeah, me and Vos are gonna drive up together I was trying to talk my daughter in the going, but she won't go don't bring your kid. I'm not't want to there's nothing I don't know I don't know arena. I wanted to take her on the made it amissed But she's not gonna go. What what's that? The boat under Niagara Falls to made it amiss the maid of the made it's called the boat ride under Niagara Falls
Starting point is 00:18:58 Is it the maid of the mist? I mean town's really got to say a pencil head the maid of the fucking mist I'm a town sure we got to say a pencil head the maid of the fucking mist Couple more times pencil dick Listen I thought you were saying me It sounds like me Made of the mist you guys should all go together do like a wet t-shirt thing under the Niagara Falls Too worried we gotta go on it Yeah, look I did don't let him push you into being worthy you you'll get him back just slow down I'm mad just just you're there. I know just realized there's the problem. Yes, I know the problem
Starting point is 00:19:43 We all know your problem. I'm not going on that stupid thing. Why it's cool. There he is Round on your red over here, dude Round on Hershberg everybody big special this weekend filming Saturday night When Monday Monday night He will be at the Village Underground Village Underground Monday night. How many shows?
Starting point is 00:20:08 Uh, two shows eight and 10 eight and 10. He's filming a special. That's great. It's gonna be great. Village Underground and he's very funny. I tore with him, but Louis fucking murdered every night. Are they doing except for one night? What was the one night when Louis went up before us?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Oh, that was terrible. Louis Louis is very funny. He was like on the mic making jokes. We were cracking up. But one night he was like, ah, just go out there and fuck the crowd. And I said, no, you can't do that because once you're out there, they don't want you to.
Starting point is 00:20:38 No, that was actually okay. Except for me, it was a bad stuff for him later. It was weird, right? Wasn't that what it was? I think, well, I mean, you're an ego maniac, so you thought, thank you did well. I think Louis couldn't follow me, that's how I remember it. Yeah, that's not what happened.
Starting point is 00:20:52 What's that soul, Joel, I keep hearing about it. It's like this, I know. Oh, okay, sorry. I was like, man. Can you fill it in on the Chris Rock slap thing? I wrote for those Oscars. What? I wrote for those Oscars. What? I wrote for the Oscars.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Did you write in the slap? No, I wrote for Will. You wrote for this year for Will. No, I don't get it. Tell me. I'm a pizza. I didn't even know Jada had a sister. That's pretty good. I was really, I mean, I guess I was like so upset
Starting point is 00:21:29 by that whole thing for like days. Upset days about. No, the slap. Yeah. I was like outrage and everyone's like, who cares? Who's the best? We got a lot of people like who cares? We got bigger issues and then Louie wanna gram it out.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Your mom has to worry about her daughter. She didn't care at all. She's on flu. Her daughter is fucking showing her tush. You are upset. I timed it so bad I came. What? You came.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Two minutes after the slap. I gave a fuck because he's a comic. Yes. And it's such a, it's such a hamp- There's such a hamp- We there's such a hampic. We'll smith her to the great comic. But they're fucking hypocrites. They are really nice.
Starting point is 00:22:09 They talk about peace and we have to treat each other with kind of, we have to clean up the ocean's turtles, have straws in their noses, and then they just whack each other in the face when they hear something wrong. You think, well I can, well you think that was tough for Chris? Watch him try to do a black room.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I get like uncomfortable, black room. I get uncomfortable, I get uncomfortable just being at a party like being too loud and he fucking walked on stage. I know, it's great. It's like someone, you're like a danger to society. You can trust the fact that they didn't throw him out and dread that you fucking, that there's just a bunch of phonies. It's not fucking, I don't fucking hate well. I think Jada is a fucking evil
Starting point is 00:22:48 Fucking demon. She's an evil demon who fucking a demon does she's a demon I'll be back and oh my god. What are you a spell checker? You know how to spell we get it You have a great ass and you can spell if you're fucking two qualities Relax. I I think Jade is the fucking Will is a victim Will's a victim man. He got a fucking and he had to go do some stupid shit that she my wife If I ever got up on the night of my life, and I
Starting point is 00:23:26 mean, she would grab me by my fucking ear level. Go sit the fuck down. You're right. You're about to make fucking a little money. Right. And I get to leave you. I get to finally leave you and become a lesbian. Sit the fuck down.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Well, to be fair, she just an IRL. She did like, she didn't like you. You didn't see what she did. What was it, boy? She fucking gave him a look like I could take care of this and you know what I mean when your wife Gives you a look. Yeah, I had and she probably probably had to talk about it beforehand People talking about her fucking
Starting point is 00:23:57 You know alopecia was probably on edge You know just walk up and slap somebody you don't go from zero to 60 What I think you had a nervous breakdown. I think you like totally snapped after years of just like, oh my wife fucks all the guys. Oh my God. That was so funny. His son's friends, like the humiliation is so like, wow.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yeah, and he's a, he's a, he's a young buck too. Do you see that dude? Yeah. The guy that she fucked. Whenever he's in her entanglements. Her entanglement wasn't with like a young buck too. Do you see that dude? The guy that she fucked. Whenever he was in her entanglements. Her entanglement wasn't with like a young nerdy kid that needed help. Well, I think he was a-
Starting point is 00:24:31 My will was probably mad doubly because he probably wanted to fuck him too. Will's so gay. He's like, I don't think he's gay. I think he's so gay. How do you say, tell me. The way he hit Chris Rock was gay, like, if you're gonna fuck him.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Yeah, if you're gonna- He slapped like a drag queen. Yeah. The way he walked off and was gay Like a game if you're gonna fuck him. Yeah, I'm gonna slap like a drag queen Yeah, the way he walked off and like held his belt buckle like this is Jefferson It kind of look like a high five at first, and then it kind of became a slapper He almost like backed off with his shoulders like I Don't think I don't think I think he's gay and Jada pegs is shit out of him and looks like a little cow girl That make you gay You've been pegs. Yeah, I've been pegs by a man with his dick. I don't think your act was true I'm not making a peg in
Starting point is 00:25:20 It's an act of imagining I've been pegged by a guy's dick. That's right. Okay, you got peg by guy's dick Dude you gotta stop You just have to say you're gonna stop. You're gonna be sick. As long as you just say you're being pegged by a guy's dick. You got pegged by a dude? And not asked by a man. I'm gonna learn. You get pegged. That was a guy, but he had a deal though. He just pegged me with his dick.
Starting point is 00:25:34 He pegged me with his dick. I'm not gay. I'm so denial that a guy's a guy, but he has a deal though. And he just pegged me. It's not gay. Just don't use your dick. Oh, can I put my dick in for one minute? All right, one minute.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Put it in for one minute. I'm not gonna be a gr. I'm not gay. Just don't use your dick. Oh, can I put my dick in for one minute? All right, one minute, put it in for one minute. I'm not gonna get the egg. I'm not angry. I'm attractive. I got a peg by a woman. You got a peg with a strap on. Yeah, yeah. Was it a, is there a certain pegging dildo
Starting point is 00:25:57 or is it just any dildo? Is it like a peg? Do you go in and say, hey, I'm gonna get a peg, can I get a medium pegger? Like is there an interesting? You can't say that. I guess? I guess you can say that.
Starting point is 00:26:08 I guess you go in and show your asshole. I'm be like, what, what fits in here? You can just try it all. You can just show it off and be like, you know, like a ring, like a ring. I wear it outside, can I wear it? But I, she ordered it. So I don't, I mean, I don't.
Starting point is 00:26:20 They wash off the three different size pegs. You can sit on them. You can, well, she'll have a parallel.s. You can sit on them You're all the different colors from being in other people's asses. We're on the road for a month every night Just went up and be like my name's Ron and I've been pegs. That's like my opening line. I didn't listen to you one night Early that's crucial info though. I mean do you say that in passing at all or only on stage? Do you say that in passing at all or only on stage? Only on stage, not yeah. That makes me wonder how real it is. If I ask my wife to peg me, she'd leave me. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:49 She'd leave you? Because she'd seen what happens in the toilet. She's, she's, number, she's just old school. She doesn't like, you know, she's an old school chick from Boston. Yeah. You know what I mean? She'll fight a bitch and she's from, fuck down. I'm not fucking sticking something in your ass.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah. You're fucking, go stick your own shit in your ass. Don't use my dough, those, you fucking dirty cogs, I got you know, you're gonna eat my meatloaf and then you want me to go in there and your ass off? Oh, fucking way. I, she has really good meatloaf. I love meatloaf.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I got a message about this woman on Bumble who's like very cute. The fuck is Bumble. It's where they get, no wonder you know nothing about it. Yeah, I married with his family. You guys are lonely with no But you have fucking yeah, and I don't need to go On whatever fan base that I have what's with you. Yeah, I had fucking we're gonna check your DM requests right now I'm sure it's full of paggers
Starting point is 00:27:43 I Bumble is a daddy app where the woman messages you first. Oh really? I don't get a lot of messages But what the ones you do you get paying wow this girl is really cute Probably like hey does Louis still jerk off in front of people This girl was really cute like every pictures cute and then I looked trans But oh really, but did you look at you want to see the picture? I do don't show the camera because I don't want I'm not gonna show it to you show me Yeah, you know one gym noten to break up with his girlfriend
Starting point is 00:28:11 But I mean I honestly I've always said it was fucking cock block you I always said if you go all the way if you go all the way and it looks good all I'll fuck what's it? Oh a trans It's transphobic not to to really believe their women You have to have a liby liby. I was like a dick to prove that I'm woke as fuck. I could have tricked you and not and shown you and not told you. And you would have been like, she's hot, but I don't want to have a crisis. Dude, I would go home to my house, take my wife by her ankles, and she's sleeping and
Starting point is 00:28:43 drag her out of the, in the yard and throw all her shit on her head and toss max on her stomach for this She is And she had a vagina which I know I'm out. I'm out. What? I yeah, she has a vagina Wait a minute. How do you know she's not just like a seven eight regular woman who goes? I know it'll put me over the edge. I'll tell people are you high right now? I used to be a dude are you high right now? No, listen like a I used to be a dude. Are you high right now? No, listen to me. It's like a comic. You're trying to have a big singing for some reason.
Starting point is 00:29:27 You're like, hey, how do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. I think she's cute. I mean, I don't think God's are like, oh, she's cute. But what's your thing? I don't know if I want to fuck her. That looks like a girl to me. It's a girl.
Starting point is 00:29:41 That's a girl. It's not. That's a girl. I wasn't born one. That's fine, but she'd be. I'm sure that's fine. It's not that's a girl. I wasn't born one. That's fine But she be that's fine in your book. I understand I will I will just slowly becoming a man She is a fucking girl If you don't have sex with her, you don't believe in transgender rights because you have to like That's not true because that's the lie you're telling yourself so you can be by
Starting point is 00:30:04 True because that's the lie you're telling yourself so you can be by I don't want to fucker. Yeah, it's now do you understand how a vagina works that was made? I don't actually okay You need some stuff. Well, what do you mean? Well, it's not it's not It's a black hole right no suction. It's not a wallet. I mean, you fucking like a catchers. No, Jesus. It's like a fucking song. No. Things. No. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I don't mean to talk shit to the transgender community is a new pussy. Oh, it's or the science behind them. What's it like? What's it like? What's it like? Feehan, I want to fucking tackle you right now. You're such a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:30:43 No, I'm curious. I don't actually don't know. I don't need that. It's it's it's you have to use you have to use cream. You're such a piece of shit. No, I'm curious. I know I actually don't know anything It's it's it's you have to use you have to use cream you have you can't just I do that at any time They're always drawn to the giant ocean What you've glued every time they're like the pussy seal up on him He has to get one of those clams shutters toners to get inside of, I'm the one who made the joke. Okay, we're in.
Starting point is 00:31:07 We're in. Wait a minute, can we talk about, because where can they go? It is sort of like a black hole because it's not like it leads to the female reproductive system, you know? No, but it's, it's, it leads to a regular man's fucking fucking.
Starting point is 00:31:21 We can bring it up, can't we bring it up? You can show him. Sure. There's actually a really, I went down to black hole one night on the YouTube, a black hole. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I went down, I watched a bunch of the stuff, and it's interesting how they make it,
Starting point is 00:32:05 but it's how they make it. Like pay me a price. They can just take the penis becomes the clitoris or the lateness. Right. And the balls kinda go in and make the pocket, I would say a pocket, and that's where your penis can go in and out of.
Starting point is 00:32:21 So I get, so the, In between the balls, like those like, you know, there's like Chinese balls you hold in your I don't want to I don't want to say out of I don't remember it fully, but I'm pretty sure they just there's the animation. Do you have the
Starting point is 00:32:33 animation? I'm looking for it. Why is your voice so deep? Did you get even Jaina? Are you getting a dick put on? I'm looking for it. My name's Nicky. She's trying to visioning right now. Um, yeah, uh, there was a trans girl at a, um, My name's Nicky. She's trying to fish it in right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:45 It was a trans girl at a Starbucks once, and I don't wear a Louisiana. Oh, shit. Speaking of trans. They're running behind. Okay, cool. Fuck them. We're talking about, you run on.
Starting point is 00:33:01 So. Why you got two Jews with a list on them? It was a big deal. Oh, you're right. Yeah, but I could take a cove cove It's over me and me and you would have it. What were you talking about? What's talking about he got pegged by a girl and he's actually maybe hooking up with a trans girl Cuz this is it's gonna fuck you up too much from the process I'm gonna get the link. Because this is gonna fuck you up. Still went from the process, I want to. We were talking about.
Starting point is 00:33:26 All right, here we go. This is how it is. This is how they make a vagina. But this is how they make a vagina. Oh man. All right, here we go. Here we go. This is how they make it.
Starting point is 00:33:35 This is rich erect. This is rich erect. Yeah, kind of a couple of inches off of that. Oh. All right, so they take the penis out. I'm gonna pay money now. And then they make that. Okay, oh, so there you go. They take the penis out. I'm gonna pay money now. And then they make that, okay. Oh, so there you go.
Starting point is 00:33:47 They take the penis, turn, that's the shaft becomes the vagina hole. And then they take the head of it and that becomes the clip. Why cut off such a beautiful thing? And there's your vagina. It's a nice looking pussy. Wait, what did you, what did they do with the balls?
Starting point is 00:34:00 Looks like yours. What did they do with the ball? The ball is the clitoris, man. No, the head of the dick is it. That's where you pee. That's where they pee. That's where they pee. Yeah, they pee. They pee out of that. Where's the balls? I don't know. I'm saying shit. The balls are right there. Dude, the balls are the powers. Chin. The balls. The balls are the pussy. Yeah, the balls become the pussy. So they slice the
Starting point is 00:34:22 balls. The balls. Look, see, the balls are gone. They put it in its due. They make three wishes they take they take the the peanut keep going play it again play it again Sam go with the reversal they take the shaft so your penis boss will be very yeah you have a giant canal would be very small I have a decent penis hard there you go And then there's the peel Yeah, I'm I'd fuck that. What's it? You know, it's all the say it's it's it seems like that's what it is I've a John is just a what if what if she had a penis feel like the circumference of a penis is way larger than My personal tiny you mean was
Starting point is 00:35:01 Clitoris Tight pussy. No, I think just from I know what a penis looks like even the smallest ones right have you been with small penis yeah you know I've stopped handing out the favors what's up and not some participation trophies so I hate some good tries I hate my dick It's fucking nice. I mean everybody says that. No, I can prove it. Go ahead. What's up, Larry? I'm doing it, buddy. So wait, you met a training online?
Starting point is 00:35:35 A training? You can't say it in a training. What do you say? First of all, boss, say, we were in a meeting, some type, this group thing that we were talking, and there was a Transexual in there trans and fucking dumb talking about that movie
Starting point is 00:35:51 What he started dude? He started this idiot stuck dude. What's that movie with the No, I know worse Transy. Transy. Transy. No, it was transy. What's on later, Zamo? What's on later, Zamo?
Starting point is 00:36:11 The transy. And when he's like, right, it's all Transylvania, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And he goes, now, what do you say? How do they say it? Transy, transvesty? Transy, right?
Starting point is 00:36:22 I'm laughing my ass off because boss is just a freaking out person never came back. Ha ha. No, I wasn't being mean. I just I didn't know you can't say training anymore. No, no, no, I didn't mention it. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Sounds affectionate. You know, what do you say instead of transsexual? Transsexual. No, wait, transgender. Transgenderxual. No, wait, transgendered. Transgendered, yes, there's another one. I just did a show in Fort Myers and the host one night was a dude that became a girl,
Starting point is 00:36:54 but he was like an old, like at 55 or 50, it seems like kind of late, you know, because he was an ugly man. Not if you're getting a brand new pussy, because you're putting the same as a one year old. I don't know if it was cut off or he just put on bad wigs, but I said, are you like this in the day, or is this for your act, you know, some people.
Starting point is 00:37:15 You know, they have the female impersonators like a werewolf situation, or you always know a lot of guys that wear wigs now. The pandemic made a lot of people put wigs on. Yeah. You know, like male and female. Yes, we have. So any, she said no.
Starting point is 00:37:34 She doesn't all the time, but she, I don't want to piss her off with a shoes though. Train with sugar ray Leonard as a boxer. And I don't want to get beat up. It's so funny. You go to a certain person be like, do you wear this costume all the time or are they just that? Well, no, I said, no.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Is that we get hot down here in Florida? You can you golf in that thing? No, I wasn't being mean. That wasn't being mean in that. Of course, you know, a lot of people don't know. People, you know, but right now, you, you get a lot of girls. You get laid a lot. I don't, I don't I don't think so yeah you do he gets laid
Starting point is 00:38:09 he gets laid dude middle acts are getting laid on the road you headline on a road right yeah it's taking a special Monday at the village underground so it's my mailman but wait a second Can you get me a ride? Where are you originally from? I'll do a Vulcan Tucket. Oh, what shitty place I do there. Tommy Caravan. The guy fucking ripped me off. I hope her money. Did you? You make me off for a long time ago. Like a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:38:34 You made me off for that fucking criminal. He was like a comic. He had big shoes or something like. He owned a place but he was a bad... Well, there's been a couple people. There's Tom Sobel. No, it was right there. Sobel, I named Darrell.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Yeah, that asshole. Or Chris Bowers or no, not Darrell. Yeah, Chris was from Indiana. Yeah, yeah. He was a nice guy. No, Darrell, that guy. Yeah, he was a piece of shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:57 He ripped me off. Ah, just a scumbag. Yeah. These clubs, and it was like shit money to begin with. I was doing a door deal deal and they would take poker chips and put them like that's how many people walked in. He was just how many poker chips can I what? And then he goes and then military,
Starting point is 00:39:14 we gave them a discount and what the fuck? He beat me for like 500 bucks or something and I what are you gonna do? You just go fuck off and you leave and you live and learn that's all you live and learn in life and this is the voice and boss's head. We've all been a lot of show very cool. Wow. Before my hair was just looking at it you're like what is before it was happening. This is how we had in Fort Myers I
Starting point is 00:39:41 hit a major bonus. So it was good numbers. Shut up. Everybody gets good numbers from January until fucking June. No, I don't always do. I know. So you've never been on an app to date? A dating app? Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:02 No, but a true story. When I was trying to find my daughter, a babysitter, I went on care.com and I was looking at the profiles like it was a dating app because I never had one. And I would go, now that one's too chunky to watch my kid, right? Come on, all my devil dogs would be eating. But there was a real hot one who didn't know anything about kids, but I didn't care we would teach her. I went to meet her and she goes, where's your wife and kid?
Starting point is 00:40:27 I'm not bringing those cock blocks, right? And he's doing bits on that. I know. I just forget nuts. I've been in trouble. I don't think the dollar show before. You're not getting a bonus here. No.
Starting point is 00:40:40 No, I've never been on a date. Didn't have them back. Yeah, yeah. You've been, yeah. We would walk around the bar, me, my friend, a date didn't have them back. Yeah, yeah, you've been we would walk around the bar me my friend Is sound we people of the girls I would he will walk around and I'd follow him and I would see what girls were talking about him and point And Adam, you know, oh, if any of them look back look at him and point us and then I would say those girls The by catch. Yeah, I was like and then yeah, we were back in the day you had to approach women strangers, but now that's rape
Starting point is 00:41:05 So the dating apps are come. Why is that what do you mean? Yeah, dude? I used to love I used to do shows I used to be chicks from comedy. Yeah, yeah, mainly, but I would be I'd look out like fucking Van Halen and just Find I'm that I'm gonna hook her up and I would do all my I tell jokes Yeah, like boom bang bang laugh and I go what hook up and I would do all my, I tell jokes. You're like boom bang bang laugh and I go, what's up? You like that? You know, like, I go back, it worked. Oh yes, sexy bobby, dude, when I was fucking shredded. Dude, you outta your mind.
Starting point is 00:41:35 I'm not leaving. And then you see them, you'd hang out front. Hey, you were funny, you're funny, too. Come here for a second, where you going? Yeah, dump these fucking squares. Let's go get some Tauese, Kathy Reggio Kathy, Reggio, and I didn't spend any money. That don't drink. I don't use drugs.
Starting point is 00:41:49 So I would just go to the French roast. It's taking me a little French, let's get some tea and we'd hang out and we'd fucking, thinking of being doing real estate. And I should do that, you should do that. Now let's go, let me finger fuck you on a vestibule somewhere. I always ask you, even now I'll ask a girl
Starting point is 00:42:08 if she's ever been to a Hampton Inn, right? That's my good rap. Yeah. Yeah. I used to, I feel bad because a whole art form of for women too, of meeting somebody, like the little nuances of no fuck you and yeah There's there was that thing that you had to go through you had to go through this dance to get to the point of a kiss yes and
Starting point is 00:42:34 I you know to kiss somebody the to meet somebody Go somewhere with them. Are you gonna cry? Is that nice? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
Starting point is 00:42:48 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
Starting point is 00:42:56 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
Starting point is 00:43:04 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna Yeah. Adolescent boys. So it's not that they really want to be men. It's just like they don't want to be women because they're not having like the fun that it is to be a woman who gets hit on. Getting hit on, I mean, I would know. Is that where you're gonna say? No, it's gonna say it must be cool because you probably get hit on you. It's a cure of fucking small titted weirdos. A lever, a lever. I was talking around. a fucking small titted weird house. A lever, a lever. It's not good. Any devil's teeth. I was talking to Ronald. No.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I actually appreciate it. Listen, no, I'm saying that you, you must get in on all the time. All the time. And it must feel good in some way, right? That's why I still do upper mics. Yeah. But it's probably, I know comics that you should do that.
Starting point is 00:43:39 But is it annoying to you? Or do you like it seriously? I like it now. I'm old. You like it? Yeah. Not old. I'm getting you like it. Yeah, not old I'm getting old you're beating down, but you're not old That's worse things
Starting point is 00:43:50 Who are you 32? Yep And I a good way to gauge your age when you start liking boss is the worst I yes Boss will literally insult you and then compliment you and then insult you worse Within a half a second I never I look at you as a young gal. Thank you. Yeah, you're 65.
Starting point is 00:44:09 You look at everybody. You look at my father. You can't let me have just one compliment. Yeah, what are you training bra alone? I know. I was gonna tell by this is a bra. You might want to look into it. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Oh, hey, I was kidding. I'm okay with the after can I never approach Yeah, but that bothers me I say something guys like you shouldn't be getting late you should be fucking fixing shit and fucking sending rockets into We should be getting late. We should be in the now we can get a nerd And now you guys later without approach. He said we should be getting the now we can get a Nerd-green app and now you guys later without approach He says we should be there. He's talking about himself. I Could never like approach. I can't approach right now. I can't you shift
Starting point is 00:44:52 You show it to good show. Yeah, they'll come up to you. I have a woman comes up to me. That's different I never like you can't feel them out from this do you do any crowd work? I stop what stop stop stop Put your headphones on or leave the fucking podcast There's no need to be nasty no because you would do in radio. You're a legend and you still don't talk into the microphone I need your voice No one else is not talking to the microphone except for you. We need your gems Yeah, we need your gems. I love when you use them. I mean, if women approach me,
Starting point is 00:45:26 but I just couldn't ever get them. I mean, like, Stavros Hawkeyes, I mean, what, you know, a physical abomination, right? And he gets so much fucking put through it. Yeah, I mean, girl has a dream of fucking jackal. But he gets pussy from comedy, not from apps, right? You're saying you get it from comedy, right? Yeah, I get it from comedy.
Starting point is 00:45:44 But you're saying you use apps, though. I do it from the most of the- That's how you fill the seats at the comedy. Yeah but I've never I've never like gone up to- but back in the day before I was doing comedy or apps you would have to be at a bar and go up to a woman and start a conversation. You have to go conversation. I can never do that. Yeah. Then you on you this is the problem is they we I could do that. That's a fucking superhero power.
Starting point is 00:46:07 You could do math and read no big words, and no fucking French films, and I could fucking fight and get pussy. Oh, I mean, you have to get it all. Nurt, even the playing field, mother fucker. I don't like that. I don't like that nerds. She took away everything.
Starting point is 00:46:24 They're like, how do we get it? so we don't have to go up to girls? We'll just create a state of gap with the bubble and then it'll approach and then we'll know if they like us. Wait, wait, you're perfect. Why am I writing jokes for this asshole? I can be the star. It's perfect. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but you had to be on stage to meet girls.
Starting point is 00:46:41 You know, just walking up to them in a bar. I met Jimmy before. So did I, but there was Coke involved or party. I'm not chicken, and I do nice to go to A.A. I did a Friday and Saturday night. I usually get ahead in the parking lot of St. Mary's. Yes. Every fucking Friday and Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:46:55 That's bad. What do they call that? 13, 13 stepping. 13 stepping. Oh, it's terrible. I'll be back. That was either that or drink. You've gone too many steps.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Yeah, anyway, you know, I don't do anymore. I love doing cameos on your podcast Sorry, I didn't plan this me and Bonnie are gonna be at zany's Chicago this Friday And I'm gonna be I'm gonna be there too, but so fun look at us. Yeah this weekend. Well, I'm at Rosemont I didn't mean to step on you, but I really did I'm sorry, she's looking like a watch. I'm well, I'm at Rosemar I didn't mean to step on you, but I really did I met McGubbies this weekend I'm not ruining anything Ruining anything you can't ruin something she just called ruined she just called a brat. I like when she yells at me and calls me a brat
Starting point is 00:47:47 Okay, that was me 20 I close on our dates where she's gonna be this weekend with Aaron put them correct. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where are you going? Zamy and do it good don't Don't do your alternative I don't know where we are No, where the fuck you doing Plug your date like a regular person. Friday, two shows, seven and nine. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:09 And then Saturday, we're at this place called the Vixen. Awesome place. Yes. And it's gonna be me and Bonnie and some of us. Great fucking show. Yeah, we're gonna cross. It's gonna be great. You're gonna kill, go and check them out.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Make sure you check them out. Thank you. Yeah, I'm gonna be that Rosemont Thursday and Friday in Chicago and then downtown Chicago Saturday. Oh, they have two Zanies? Yeah, they got to. I think they have even more. But most importantly comes to my tape. Yeah, Monday, make sure you go. But go see that. That's a fucking killer show. It'll be a great show. That's a good Chicago comedy weekend. Anywho, yeah, I don yeah, I'm very fucking mad
Starting point is 00:48:47 that nerds have taken over the world. I mean, think about who, think about who the coolest motherfuckers are right now. Elon Musk, dude on the spectrum. Can't even look you in the eye while he's talking to you. You can't even see him dance. Ugh, fucking nuts. He was like, dance with a little flying robot one time.
Starting point is 00:49:04 He's like, now he owns Twitter. Autistic people think about it. A lot of it. Yeah, it's fucking done. I know. I mean, Facebook. Yeah, I don't know if he's cool, but yeah. It's not cool.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Fuck. Why are you, I thought you were listening cool people. I'm like, I don't know if it's cool. No, no, no. It used to be fucking cool is dead. Yeah. Cool is fucking dead. What's cool, yeah. What's cool, it used to be fucking cool is dead. Yeah, cool is fucking dead. What's cool, that?
Starting point is 00:49:28 I'm the cool thing now. Yeah, he knows about fucking foreign films and he speak another language. Speak a little Hebrew. No, that's always attractive. It's a pussy wet. I love it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:49:40 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Just spit on it. I love it. I love a gutter old conversation. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. It is a gross language. Can you speak a little? I can do a prayer.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I don't know. I need a Venevraith. Do a little more. That was kind of a ruchatah. Hello, hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, And woof. Yeah, and then they bob when they read and it's backwards. It's kind of weird. I feel like having a seizure. They're like, what is that?
Starting point is 00:50:09 What does that mean? The dovin'ing, the shaking? Is that what's called dovin'ing? The dovin'ing is praying. Are you just saying David different? Um. I don't know. They're trying to be in the moment in like pray,
Starting point is 00:50:24 so they're just trying to, what does that do? All the praying is repetition, so they're like just repeating these things they know by heart. They're just repeating it. So I guess they're just kind of using their whole body as they're doing that. I mean, there are some movements you do in prayer. Like there's certain prayers where you have to step forward
Starting point is 00:50:38 or step back. Like a dosi dough. Like electric slide. But that is just like kind of, wasn't that. That's like, you know, the dosi dough is like, we can go, I know what that is dumb dumb. Listen, wasn't, that's like, you know, that does you know, it's like we can go, I know what that is dumb dumb. Listen, what does the thing they wrap around their arms? Is that what it's called?
Starting point is 00:50:51 It looks like a heroin, like, yeah, it looks like, I was, I was at an airport one, this guy, instead of wrapping his arm up, I'm like, what the, are you about to boot up heroin? It looked fucking crazy. Obviously, you need some insulin? There's a, there's a, there's a prayer in there. It's the same prayer.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Must not make a small titty joke. Okay, okay. An old face joke. Fucking keep it up. Come on, come on. All right. I thought I had my, I thought I had my fun. Oh, boom.
Starting point is 00:51:16 You better find a little kid quick. Which jokes? I listen, I'm sorry. You're beautiful. You know, I think you're beautiful. Well, I'm not gonna go myself. Run on. I'm not talking to you. Oh. sorry you're beautiful. You know, I think you're beautiful. Well, I'm gonna go myself run on I'm not talking to you
Starting point is 00:51:28 So what's it I had nice eyes the other day, but I don't I don't think I have I think I've kind of You have nice eyes the rest of it's a little fucking puffy lines I Can't believe you get pussy You get a lot of it. I don't know if I get a lot. I like I like't believe you get pussy. You get a lot of it. I don't know if I get a lot of it. I like guys like you though. Yeah, what's a lot?
Starting point is 00:51:49 I like guys like that aren't afraid to explore, who don't care sexually. I don't go with, I like the tracking. Well, I don't care, yeah, Greg Stone's a similar, you know, I hate guys who like do a Dutch fucking gay, you're fair, I can blah, blah, and then you find out they did all this shit And you like to stop it Do I love Norton so much cuz he's so he's from the ghetto just of course he did it as jokes and we all thought he was joking
Starting point is 00:52:14 You know and then you go over his house and there's trash bags in the bathroom What are you doing? I got someone coming in a couple minutes But I Like I like that when people are open. Yeah, you know, I, you know, everyone's, you know, on some kind of, it's all spectrum, you know, I'm not like, if I wasn't married, I'd probably do some weird shit now. I like a little, sometimes I like getting like a little beat up and stuff like that. Yeah. Like, what does a little beat up mean? Well, the last girl I, like, wow, like what does a little beat up mean? Well, the last girl I was saying, she, I mean, she kind of liked it.
Starting point is 00:52:48 But she would like kind of like punch me hit me, you know, you would, would you hit her? No, no. Of course you could. She's like, it doesn't hurt. Like, you have to hire me to do it. Hey, too, kick him over and smack my girlfriend in the face while the fucker.
Starting point is 00:53:03 I just don't got it. I like how you think punch against sex is the point is to be even harder than the punch you got. I don't like that stuff. No. She liked it, she had a lot of anger and I don't mind. I don't like anger. Who you date and Jessica Kurshin?
Starting point is 00:53:20 What are you doing? Fucking choke me, I hate myself. You know what's it a lot, but she just, you know, I don't like a little, I sometimes I like it rough, yeah. You know why? Cause when you get hit, it's kind of nice cause you don't have to do anything.
Starting point is 00:53:31 You're just lying there. Being hit, if you're like, you know, what are you submissive one? Yeah. You get to just kind of chill out. You're not expected to make a partner climax or anything. Well, I always do that. But like,
Starting point is 00:53:44 I thought you'd just get the shit kicked out of you and pass out. How do you stay awake? But it is nice to just kind of lie there and just, you know. I mean, you know I don't know. I reach to the quiet. No, I do all the work. I'm very acrobatic.
Starting point is 00:53:58 You do all the work. You like to be in charge. Yeah, I like mirrors, I like cameras, I like a show, I like neighbors. Really? I love an Amazon delivery guy. Strolling by. I like mirrors, I like cameras, I like a show, I like neighbors. Really? I love an Amazon delivery guy. I'm scrolling by. I like that.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Oh, yeah, voyeuristic. I was very voyeur, what in my younger days? That's toddler being drug away from a window. Just scuttling. Get him out of there. Get him out of there. It's about to get weird. Get a little tami out of there. It just makes me sick. No, I like voyeurism was my thing back in the day.
Starting point is 00:54:28 I was just this girl. I believe that certain people you can be in love with and have good sex, but there's some people you're just supposed to fuck each other. Of course. I mean, you two are not supposed to be together. You're not supposed to fucking spend any holidays. But you two were made to fuck the shit out of each other.
Starting point is 00:54:47 And there's been girls in my life where it's like, listen. Fuck mates. I mean, but just when your penis goes in her vagina, you're in love. Like, I fucking love you. Yeah. And I've got to shame when you come. Well, as soon as you come, you're like, I need to leave.
Starting point is 00:55:04 I need to get out of here. I course. I've had a couple girls like that. One of them was, we were very voyeuristic and that was my, I love it. Like other people watching? No, not getting other people watching. I've had that. But public. But like, we had sex. Like, we had sex and she, like, was hanging out the window. And people were walking by. Like a studio apartment. It was like a second floor. So they couldn't get to her, like a pinata. Yeah, and just, fuck a bunch of dudes just grabbing her tits. They couldn't get to her.
Starting point is 00:55:34 The last girl was where she liked to do it in front of the window. We used to do drive-ins. Like we go to drive-ins, like Dunkin' Donuts. And she'd just be blowing me in the drive-ins. But that get whiteash real quick. You were like, we fucking the wind up like cool. They're like, she gave me a hand job behind a Wendy's at a dumpster.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Yeah, we like that. I like that shit. I like role-playing though a lot. Yeah. Yeah, do you role-play? Yeah. What is your go-to? Doctor patient.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Oh, it's mine. I tell you, are you the doctor or the patient? No, I'll be patient. Oh, you're the patient. Yeah. I like the fun. I tell you that's are you the doctor or the patient now? She's the oh you the patient. Yeah, I like to find I like to be the patient Skin tag skin tag Look my armpit. I would be the patient Jerk my fucking board Why I've been knew what I was I was an Israel recently and they have these really hot. It's like in Israel, all the jobs that are ugly people here are like hot people there. Like the TSA, Israel is like a fucking porno.
Starting point is 00:56:36 But the hot Israeli army women, I would love to be like a Palestinian guy being pulled over. So you pretend you're Palestinian. You want to be a prisoner of war. I want to be a prisoner of war. I want to be a prisoner of work. You want to get pegged with a machine gun. You want to have like a bomb strapped. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:50 You want to grenade in your mind. I want to put a chain around me like an obelgrub. Like a pig being roasted. Yeah. That's why I do think of that. Yeah, I would love that. Yeah. I'm Palestinian in my sexual fantasy. That's how well you are. You believe in both causes.
Starting point is 00:57:09 One in reality, when we get begged. But yeah, there is a raise your heart. Israeli, I've been with an Israeli girl just out of the army. It's so hot. Very pretty. She's discharged. She, no, she discharged all over.
Starting point is 00:57:23 She, I just fucking guys really worked that out on the air Discharge your you disjazz all of we got it. Why didn't you fucking writers room? Just shut up. You got it. You don't at least just I am no shoes. All right. She was good. She was good I knew what hot is really true hot shoes very hot coming out of his face. I am. No, she was all right. She was good. She was good. I knew what hot is really, she was hot. She was very hot.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Big tits, like little body, like really cute little face. This one had a big, nice big butt, but small titties, which I like too. I like that too. But yeah, but listen. So I like the nurse, I like the doctor,
Starting point is 00:58:04 the hospital thing too. Yeah, but it's hard to get a girl to accept her. Or get a commit, no, to commit, to commit. To what? To the role playing. The role. Not me, I would be acting. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:58:20 I thought I was staying character. Yeah, you have all the way to dinner. Before or after, if we're a fighting couple we're fighting in public Really fuck after yeah, oh my you gotta you gotta stick to the script mm-hmm Jesus Christ. Why are you tore? Want to talk to me? I fuck Bonnie. She's lame. What are you doing fucking? I'm going to bed I got a call rich you talk about me and Bonnie's sister all night and we're gonna be in zany's this weekend Got by tickets watch us Watch you guys, sister.
Starting point is 00:58:47 What is he gonna be carrying? What the fuck did you say? Probably spot, guys. So why nobody takes you seriously. We're not gonna, sister. We're gonna tell our awesome jokes. I don't know how disappointed they are. They think they're sistering
Starting point is 00:58:59 and they're just women doing comedy. Oh, boo. Boo. Sister. Sister. It just turns into that scene from Breque Weaver dream. I have to ask.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Jinks, I've never jinksed on that line. You guys have to ask that right now. We're discussing. We're both discussing. But so what, you're upset because, or you can't find a woman who can like, you know, I'm done dude, I'm out of the game. I'm with my chick.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Yeah. I'm hoping, I'm thinking that now that he's getting older and he's kinda going on overnight trips that we can start doing some weird shit again. And I'm thinking now that, I really like my wife. Like she's kept her shit together, I didn't. I feel terrible for her. But that's why I'm trying to get one last fucking
Starting point is 00:59:43 who-rider in for her. Yeah. But I feel like now we one last fucking who-rider in for her. Yeah. But I feel like now we'll start fucking around a little bit. Well, yeah, take getter from acting classes. Maybe like she's drowning. She can't do it. I have a whole bit in my eye. Oh, yeah, I know the bit.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Yeah, I actually know your material. She fuck, sorry, I did. I'll listen to you, man. I have to meditate before I go on. I know. I'm at a date. I like how your meditation is just zoning me out. I'm on a date.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Medicate. We, yeah, she doesn't act that well. Yeah, she's not. But you guys could swing. You could put up pineapple flag in front of your house and see who shows up. Such a fucking swinging is so fucking dumb. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:22 It's such a dumb. To me, it never works, ever. Only with ugly people, the swinging work, if you're hotrocious. Okay. When you're young and hot, the swingers that everybody wants, it just doesn't work. It's like when you go to a nude beach,
Starting point is 01:00:39 it's like ever the people you want to see. Well, listen man, I don't know if it's instinctually inside of you, there's a part where you're like, I just want to be with you and hang out and have fun. But you keep wanting to suck my friends' decks in front of me. I don't. Can we have a night off? You fucking horn. You're all about it.
Starting point is 01:00:56 I love that. I fucking journal. You're all about it. Not. Huh? You're cool with being not giving me. You don't have issues with it or. I'm not fine with it.
Starting point is 01:01:04 I just don't want to swing like I don't want to go I don't want to fucking every you know like I get it It's the small talk before the swing right is too much math involved It's too much Taking that out you know and just get straight to the everybody wears like eyes wide shut style masks Maybe something like that. There's too much math. There's too much all right You can do this and that you got to call me and blah blah. Maybe something like that. There's too much math. There's too much. All right, you can do this and that. You gotta call me and it's like, fuck that.
Starting point is 01:01:28 That's just takes all the funny rules to the end. Now, if I could go, if you two were a couple and you wanted to watch her blow me, I'm in. I'll fucking tap into that fucking wrestling match any day. So you're okay with this as long as you. As specific to your blows up from me. You gotta blow it up. Well, because, just to be clear, just to be clear. There should just be one rule me getting blown by someone other than my wife.
Starting point is 01:01:52 That's the only rule I'll play with. Somebody else's wife being a slap-back. Too much math. One dick. One slut. Let's go. Yeah, that seems like a lot of rules for me at that point. I've had that where girls, hey, I would like to blow you, but my guy's here, is that okay? Yeah, as long as he doesn't fucking put his dick on my shoulder. You've been blowing him for other guys watching. Good fuck yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I need you to take him for the polaroids. Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is before a cell phone camera. Oh yeah. Yeah, dude, I thought it was hot as shit. Wow. That swinging I think is cool, you know?
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yeah, random, random just, you know. You swinging your dick into a random sluts mouth. I get it was hot as shit. Wow. That swinging I think is cool, you know? Yeah. Random, random just, you know. You swinging your dick into a random sluts mouth. I get it. You like blowjacks. Very long way to get to that. Well, anything where I know that, you know, stand up. I don't.
Starting point is 01:02:38 I get it. I'm just like this is so complicated. You're like, I don't want anyone to have sex like my wife to cheat, but I will. I get a blowjob. I think that guys, a lot of guys that want that like swinging, it's like they don't want to fuck their wives anymore, but they're in to see and their wives get fucked.
Starting point is 01:02:56 Well, it's because that's what they can do outside. They feel too guilty for cheating, but they can watch their wives get fucked. But I also think that and they don't want to fuck them anymore. They want them to have, they want them to enjoy sex, right? But they don't want them to fall in love or have intimacy. They just want it to be sex.
Starting point is 01:03:13 So, but they might also be returned on by their wife if they watch someone else fuck her. Yeah. Yeah. Because someone else wants to fuck this. Or it will tag. Maybe she has more value than I thought. Fucking lopsided. I guess she's not a monster.
Starting point is 01:03:27 She can make it all with the saver life, but then she's getting her face smashed in my head. Yeah, you can't do the dishes, how you get your suck his nuts off. I like the idea of watching sex. So, perverse. And now have you ever watched anybody, like from a window,
Starting point is 01:03:45 like another apartment and somebody fucking or somebody be naked, is that thing? Waiting my whole life, I walk around at night, I stroll the streets, I've never seen any nudity in any window in my life. Nothing, nothing. I look, I'm like, so I look, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've had sex in cabs, I had sex on a cop car.
Starting point is 01:04:06 I have sex always with the kids. It's like fucking green eggs and ham. Yeah. I have sex on a boat. Sex on a cab is awesome. It's awesome if the cab is in on it. If you get the eyebrows. Yeah, if he's good to go.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah, if you see the eyebrows and you get the little, yeah. He's like, he's into it. He turns the meter off and joy. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had sex in in front of someone really yeah I think it's most I've done I've had sex in a bathroom with somebody or yourself Yeah, I've just I've jacked off in my own bag. I fucked in the cellar bathroom downstairs. The woman's bathroom Yeah, it was great during the show too. So nice wait, it's so small. Yeah, it was I was the show too, so nice. Wait, it's so small. Yeah, it was, I was smaller.
Starting point is 01:04:46 I was a smaller guy. Okay, obviously in the pictures of me when I back in the day, I was very in shape. Oh, it was so hot too, because girls kept coming in and they'd be like, wait, what? Like, because they would see four feet. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Are you guys doing coke in there? Yeah, fucking in the bathroom. Public banging, I used to love it. Like in these little vestibules that New York has, these little down, like the wow around the corner has a little down, go in there and make out and then start to fuck around, I like that stuff. New York's a good place to have sex in public.
Starting point is 01:05:20 Yeah. I used to go to the park. You really can't do Washington Square Park anymoreo because you get mugged robbed or arrested But you know what I did one night. I was real fucking scary wait I just rich texted me saying tell him to open the door. No, that was at 913 Never mind. I'm sorry. I just had I like reread something and I panicked Um, go on. Thanks very much. I apologize. Now everybody check their phone. I'm embarrassed.
Starting point is 01:05:46 It's a phone check time. Everybody. Well, I tell you one thing. I mean, I was actually supposed to host a 10 o'clock at the Sam I got canceled. Oh, wait, I'm going to the stand. Oh, wait, is that the no. I think I'm doing the other show.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Oh, the house shows canceled. Yeah. Well, they goes that topic. What was the topic? I'm done. Do you know that that rapper that topic. What was the topic? I'm done. You know that that rapper that they held up at his funeral? I think his name's Guru or Guru or Guru. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:06:12 He died. What are you talking about? And the people had his funeral and they took his dead body and propped him up in a nightclub and they're like party to round him. Nobody knows what you're talking about. I know, but doesn't that sound wild? No. I guess it's kind of like what awake is. I find all wakes weird.
Starting point is 01:06:26 At a nightclub though. Yeah, but you're a Jew. You guys want the body in the ground 24 hours. That's normal. I feel like I feel like you're all the weird, weird ones which are fucking weak in their body. Just nanor in a casket. Wearing all the jewelry that you're gonna take off before they shut that fucking thing. I'm like, why are Nana's lips sealed shut? Yeah, when did the Rolex go? Why does Grandpa look like a drag queen? Yeah. There's a safety pin in by your ear.
Starting point is 01:06:52 I don't like, I don't like wakes, I find them. Wakes are fucking ridiculous and they should stop them. Close the casket. Not even close the casket, just get it like the juice. Get them in the ground. Juice and mobsters are gonna get shot on the face. Get them in the fucking ground. Go to the church, get them in the ground. Juice and mobsters are going to get shot on the face. They're the ones who are in the back. Get them in the fucking ground. Go to the church, cemetery back to the house,
Starting point is 01:07:08 and let's say goodbye to this person because they're over. You don't need to. Yeah, we don't need to sit there for four hours. Yeah. If you're in the family, it sucks, too, because you have to stand and say the same thing over, thank you for coming.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Thank you for coming. I hope. And you have to, the people make you cry over and over, too. Yeah. So there's always that one. I'm so sorry, then people make you cry over and over too. Yeah. So there's always that one. So sorry, then. I'm going to go like, hey, man.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Or you're done crying and they're still crying and they just think you're a monster and you're like, no, I've cried. You know, I don't know. People on Twitter will just tweet like awful things like like my, that's been just, I mean, that means he like tragedies. You know, this, this, this spectrum of Twitter where it'll just be like, yeah, the terrible. My son got hit by a car today and dead
Starting point is 01:07:49 and I have four types of AIDS. Please retweet this, you know? Yeah, and my uncle's funeral I wore a crop top. Might take a selfie, I was like, hey, shout out. Nice. All right, P Uncle Bob. But someone the other day tweeted, my son just blew his hand off.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Uncle Bob, is that a role play? I, I'll do that one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uncle Robert. Someone, someone tweeted the other day. And son blew his head off. My son just blew his head off. I'm numb.
Starting point is 01:08:16 I'm like, who describes their son as blowing their head off? First of all, you should never, that shouldn't be out there. I know. But also for the other, what did you say killed like, ended ended his life blow his head off? It's like, what do you want to do, ma'am?
Starting point is 01:08:29 Your son is committed suicide. She's like, I'm gonna tweet about it. I'm gonna tweet about it. I get those likes. I'm trying to go by. I'll be honest, I find them funny just because they should not be on Twitter. Like one person once I couldn't stop laughing.
Starting point is 01:08:40 They tweeted just got over cancer cancer and now I have COVID. It was like something I was just like, Oh, that's funny. That's just the kick of the nuts. That's funny. For my son just blew his head off. I'm numb. Like, you're not really numb.
Starting point is 01:08:57 He's more numb than you. I mean, yeah, it's like stupid. That's stupid. I don't get those, these tweets aren't happening whether just like my husband exploded today Childers eaten by a bear police like this you say he's in English I have a I overemphasized teeth. It's a speech impediment and you make your fun of it as a head time It's fucking terrible get it together. We'll back the class
Starting point is 01:09:20 It's a hate crime hate it's no Manhattan. I do that for every Manhattan. Yeah. I think I have a list. You have a list. I'm overcorrect by overly pronouncing. We're going to have to put subtitles on the show. You would loss. It's like Jewish loony tips in there.
Starting point is 01:09:41 I listen. We got a Kara Fehan and Bonnie McFarlane doing a show in Chicago this weekend at Zaini's. And then you're doing what's the other place called? The Vixen on Saturday. Zaini's on Friday, the Vixen on Saturday. You got to go see them because they're fucking hilarious. And Ronan is taping a special here at the Comedy Cell at the VU Monday night. Take it still available, not that many.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Let's fill it up, come down here, watch him crushU Monday night. Take it still available, not that many. Let's fill it up. Come down here, watch him crush it Monday night. And this weekend you'll be, I'll be at Zanez in Chicago this weekend, Rosemont Thursday and Friday and Saturday downtown Zanez. And yeah, for a link to my special, just go to my Instagram. It's the wings of the bio. on comedy all right and end comedy check it out very funny guy both these people are very funny and Also, we're gonna go to the comedy seller. We're gonna go what the fuck ways I go We're gonna go to the patreon only part around 15 minutes. I have questions from all the fans For Karen fianne We have questions for run on I know boss went downstairs
Starting point is 01:10:44 So there's no questions for him but We got if you have any questions for Ron on please type him in now Nicky will get them Check it out comic Roadhouse moving in son. That's next week Not this weekend next weekend. I will be there. Don't scroll yet April 21st Through the 23rd and then I got that special shot. Where's, go up a little bit please. Can you scroll up? Well, I, I gotta plug this show for people who live.
Starting point is 01:11:14 April 15th, I will be at, I'll be at April 15th and 16th. Niagara Falls, Bears Den Casino with Lewis Jay Gomez, the rattlesnake and the the legend rich boss. And me, we will be there doing a show Friday and Saturday, one show a night. In the Bearsden, it's going to be epic. So come down and see the show hang out with us after maybe do a little gambling. So that's the 15th and the 16th. And of course, I'm shooting my special May 27th.
Starting point is 01:11:45 I mean, May 7th in St. Pete, Florida, uh, at coastal creative and the great Louis CK is directing it. So it's going to be awesome. I can't wait. Uh, I'm fucking nervous. I'm fucked up, but I'm very excited to do it. So if you can't come down, I'm going to be releasing those tickets this Thursday or Friday. There'll be a pre sale for all you Patreon people, Ladybugs, we'll get the tickets first
Starting point is 01:12:11 so you can sit up front and then everybody else will be the next day after 12 o'clock. So go to my website, robocadialive.com, go to comicwearapples.com, use code word Ladybug, get your YKWD gear. On the tour with Ari, I saw a lot of YKWD merch out there. I want to thank you guys for getting it. Use code word ladybug. Like I said, 20% off, hats, sweatshirts, shirts, everything. You get the Robert Kelly face pancake Sunday. You're great. Not you and sister ping shirt down the bottom. So make sure you go there. And of course, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You love the show on YouTube?
Starting point is 01:12:45 Subscribe. Like it. Comment. I want to know what you think about the, I want to know what you guys think about the Will Smith thing. If you guys, I want to know, because a lot of people were surprisingly, some not a lot, some were on Will's side secretly.
Starting point is 01:13:00 Like fuck Chris. Oh, you just point to yourself. Oh, my mom. Oh, your mom. It was, it was, it was so infuriating Oh my mom. Oh, your mom. I was it. It was it was it's so infuriating. Some people were on Will's side. There was not a lot. Mo most of you is on Chris's side, but some were on Will's side. We're going to talk about that in the Patreon version only. What you can talk now. Go ahead. If you have something to say,
Starting point is 01:13:17 go ahead. Well, as you can say, obviously the people who like completely supported Will Smith were few, but there were a lot of people, and I consider this the worst person, that people would go, what Will Smith did was wrong, but it was also wrong for Chris Rock to make that joke. Because those people are the problem, because those people are equating jokes with violence, and acting like it's an complicated issue when it's not.
Starting point is 01:13:39 So, and there was a lot of people who went in that direction. But you have to look at, too too is all the people in that room who didn't come to Chris's aid. Yeah, it's a hit. They went to his aid. I know. And then they gave him an award and then they stood up because they, in the moment where you, like,
Starting point is 01:13:58 what should we do, everybody chose to do the wrong thing. Not one person chose to do the right thing. After hearing, it's ones that Will Smith obviously snapped, but even after he snapped, he come back on stage except an Oscar, does not apologize to Chris Rock once. So there's no, he's literally thanks everyone. His wife laughed, which he saw him slap him.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Yeah, he chuckled. He literally thanked everyone else. He was like, I wanna apologize. He was like, apologize to Venus and Serena. Denzel, Denzel went at it. He tried to defend. He's the one who came the closest to defending Will Smith. Yeah, but he's, there's just psychos.
Starting point is 01:14:34 He's like, He's like, He's like in a fucking... I understand what he's saying. Old Scientology rant. Well, Denzel is not a scientist. Will is, I get it, but he basically said, and it's true, you know what, you can take the go,
Starting point is 01:14:49 at your moment, a lot of times, when you have these moments of greatness, fucking things, you can make a decision to fuck it up. You can do something that will ruin it. Yes. And that's happened a lot of times in my life where you, I'm here, it's happened, and then I fucked it up because of my energy, my fear, my insecurity.
Starting point is 01:15:12 I've done shit to fuck shit up. And that's what he was basically saying is these moments. I can empathize with Will Smith, but what I won't tolerate is people empathize with him before the empathize is good rock. Absolutely. I felt like a lot of people skipped Chris Rock and went to their empathy for Will Smith.
Starting point is 01:15:30 And they literally felt like people didn't care that he got slapped. Like it wasn't even part of the problem. I don't like the used potty words on the... And it's like... I don't like that. Some people are like saying the race card, like like... It's like it's all but there's no white people involved Dude all the whole Oscars were black the whole production was black people like they gave
Starting point is 01:15:54 Behind the scenes was all run by a black crew Like this was the first year that the Oscars were all black like they they let black people run everything The point is sometimes it's not about race. Will Smith is just a douchebag. And being a douchebag transcends race. Yeah, it was, it was fucking. I think he's just kind of a joke. That is so funny that he,
Starting point is 01:16:16 people would bring out this enough that he was literally just came out with a TV show where people are teaching him how to be a stand of comic. A joke guy. It's so bad. And then I assume one of them was just like Sean Patten, just to fuck with him, was like, oh, if you don't like a joke, someone says you punched them.
Starting point is 01:16:32 That's what we do in standup. That's his own act. Everybody, isn't it weird though? We're in the Patreon version right now. Go to patreon.com.cest. We're on our kill live.com. We get questions for Karen, Fihian, and probably some questions for Ronan. Stick around, we got questions for Karen, Fihin, and probably some questions for, uh, uh,
Starting point is 01:16:45 round on. Stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now, exclusively on patreon.com slash a Robert Kelly. See you there. I want to tell you about a amazing company that me and my wife found.
Starting point is 01:17:03 We've been going to the Hampshire for the last 30 years vacationing, and we love it up there. We've been renting, and we've been a guest, and we've always wanted to own, but we couldn't afford it. It was just out of our reach. Until we found Tiny Homes of Maine. This company is amazing. It's a husband and wife, it's a family-owned business, and they make the most amazing tiny homes
Starting point is 01:17:26 on the market. They're built to withstand main winters, and they look amazing. They're fully customizable, and they have three different sizes. You should check them out. If you're thinking about having a second home, or maybeizing or, you know, just having an office, go tiny and go to tiny homes of made. The company is amazing and they help you every single step of the way. From finding the right one for you, from making it from the ground up and to finding about the laws in your area and financing, you couldn't go with a more amazing company and a more amazing family than tiny homes of men.
Starting point is 01:18:13 Did you like my present? I got you. Yeah, I haven't used it yet. What is it this week? It's a traveling water pick. Yeah. You like it, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:22 You haven't used it yet? Well, no, I, because I haven't traveled really. You should use that. He hasn't gone down on Bonnie. You have to use a water pick, what stuff comes out? No, to get her wet. Oh. All right, listen, make sure you check out Karen Fien
Starting point is 01:18:36 and Bonnie McFarlane this weekend in Zaini's very funny show. Yeah. And make sure you check out Rich Voss. My wife hates me. And also this week, I'll stop looking at the camera. I thought there was a,
Starting point is 01:18:48 I am, that's my camera. I look at it, it's like I can deliver this. No, fuck me up every time. I'm trying to do my thing and you're like, what's over there? What, cause the plugs used to come on and I was gonna give some dates.
Starting point is 01:19:01 Cause I'm in Muguys this weekend. There's your camera right there. In Muguys this weekend, then the following weekend with Bobby and Lewis Gomez, and then, don't skim over that, I'm right here. And then, well, you can use that in your... The Bears Den, the Bears Den, at the Seneca Casino. 15th and 16th.
Starting point is 01:19:16 And then, it's gonna be the funniest show with Joe Russell. Funny show ever, we're gonna vlog the whole thing. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Then I had the comedy connection in Rhode Island, Island my favorite one of my favorite club owners and clubs that I love I love Corey yeah it's great so I got a lot of you coming up where are you headlined in anywhere soon I'm gonna be at Roar comedy club in Springfield Massachusetts May 13th I love that club comedy hub Houston
Starting point is 01:19:40 April 28th it's great check her out very. I want to thank all my fans who are... Don't you do like an extra time after it? We just did it. I got to read the names. Can you read the names real quick? Yeah, you read them. I read it and see them. Right there.
Starting point is 01:19:54 She'll make them big for you. Hold on, let me get my glasses. She'll make them big for you. All right. While you're doing that, I'm going to read my... Hey, I want to thank my new small business tear sponsor, Gunter Log Group. If we've learned anything this past two years, it's been to be prepared.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Not just in terms of food, water, and toilet paper, also getting a legal house in order before it's too late. Look at, nobody has all that money. And let's, a will let your loved ones, you know, know how to distribute your estate after you die. And the man, if we've learned anything, you never know when it's coming. Very sad day today, I love you Sarah.
Starting point is 01:20:27 Regardless of the size of the estate, at least you can consider the will and a medical power return to your DNR directive so that your loved ones don't have to decide whether to pull the plug on you during the most painful part of their lives. And at the end of the day, it is one of the most loving things you can do
Starting point is 01:20:46 for your loved ones, okay? So make sure you go check it out. If you're any rent taxes, contact Kyler, a Gunter Law Group, for a free 30 minute consultation. Discuss your options with her. Or just go to Gunter Law Group, dot com. Email Kyler, KYLA, directly at Kyler, at Gunter Law Group, dot com. Just give her ayla at gantrloggroup.com.
Starting point is 01:21:05 Just give your bus, 682-224-1967. Just set up your consultation today. And if you mention YKWD, she'll knock off 25% off of her fee. This is legal advertisement, is not intended to specific legal advice. There you go, gantrlog group, very cool. Get your will in order, you got a will? Yeah. Okay. You got a will. End away. What does that mean? A will in a way. There's a will. There's a way.
Starting point is 01:21:32 I don't know you with that fast. I read this. Go. Who's reading you? You. I'll read you. We would can't when he starts fumbling take over Gabby Alecia Yes, Donald land. Yes on his feet all the time Kyle P graves where Sarah is What the fuck man, I'm trying to make it. That's not funny. Sorry. He died today. Oh today Funny sorry died today. Oh today today. Oh, I didn't know she had told us a while ago. Oh, that said I didn't know that it's just Kyle P Uh, I didn't know that
Starting point is 01:22:17 Come down. I didn't know that that's sad. Oh That's hard. I didn't know that today Harry rudder, which kind of sounds like Harry rudder. Yeah. James Rothman, Anders. Oh, yeah. Don't help him. Don't help him. Of course, guard. Who has two ways? Raleo. Raleo.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Raleo. Raleo. Raleo. Richard Frank, Rob Cruz, Tyler M. R D'Amars, elevators only to heaven. Mad, what the fuck? That was, I say heaven, she's in heaven. I don't get you, dude. Oh, let's go.
Starting point is 01:23:00 Sam, was, was next. Did you switch? Did you read about Matt? You just get Matt. I didn't, Matt. Okay, big deal. I hear you. Go read that one on the mat.
Starting point is 01:23:10 Oh, switch key. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, so, oh, look at that. Propact. Sam, you were me. Sam, Paznik. Yeah. Leanne Carr.
Starting point is 01:23:23 Yeah. Matt, McGalister. Yeah.ister, James Healy, Greg Allen. Yeah, I feel bad for that. I know that happened today. Yeah, she passed today, man. Yeah, sad. That's sad. I wish I, I want to find out her.
Starting point is 01:23:39 I'm sad. And now I'm sad. You made me feel sad. No, you made yourself feel sad. And I feel sad. I, you made yourself feel sad. And I feel sad. I'm gonna go eat downstairs. I'm gonna come with me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:51 Are you going home? No, I'm gonna hang out. I don't get to get out that much in the city. All right. This is maybe feel old. I'm just gonna go home. No, don't go home. I'm going home.
Starting point is 01:24:00 We'll have dessert. Are you going? We'll have cupcakes. I'm not having cupcakes. I can't eat cupcakes. Where are you going? Why? have cupcakes. I'm not having cupcakes. I can't eat cupcakes. Where are you going? Why? We know.
Starting point is 01:24:08 Put your teeth in. You're going to hang out? Oh, we're going home. Oh, no, you can hang out with us. I love that coat. It's cool, right? It's fucking a varsity coat and you've never played a sport. I can play a sport.
Starting point is 01:24:18 I played soccer, softball, games. Oh, really? You blew the football team. She earned it. Oh, no, I feel horrible about. Oh, I'm feel horrible about. Oh, I'm gonna donate tonight. Okay, you should.
Starting point is 01:24:28 Yeah, all right, there you go. Oh wow. How you donating, Bobby, you don't eat. And you don't swallow. We're alone. Why, she fucking smidstats it all the time. It's me. It's me.
Starting point is 01:24:42 I'm a whole food. She's so poor. And I'm stupid. Yeah, dumb. I'm not dumb. You're dubby, he's fat. I'm a wh I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm dumb. I'm dumb. You're dumb, he's fat. I'm a whore. We all make a good living yet.
Starting point is 01:24:51 I go to the family. How much are you going to donate? 100 bucks. That's just a tip of your finger. You make 20,000 bucks a month. how much you don't know I'll match you One of my donate. I'm a center family five CDs. Oh my god merch. You're sending her in marriage What are you gonna donate Bobby? I'm gonna probably do I'll do 100 I always do a hundred he's got look. He's wearing of thousands of dollars. Yeah, they're trying to get the 10, 10,000. Yeah. Now, who, how do the stand
Starting point is 01:25:31 do this? How, how do they, maybe they know? I don't know. Two words, Paul Italian. Why did she go to the stand? I don't know if I met her. She's in Chicago. She had to be at our big show when we did Chicago, right? Well, I'm going to give a few hundred. So when we did creeps, she had to be there. She was there at a lot of them. Yeah, she's been to a lot of your shows. She's been to a ton of my shows. She's been to the J.O.P. party a lot.
Starting point is 01:26:02 Well, for friends and family, I loved her. They were in Chicago. They would buy tickets to my nabani show to show their support. to the J.O.P. party a lot. Well, for friends and family, loved her. As you come. And they were in Chicago. They would buy tickets to mine in Bonnie's show to show their support. It is sad for what? For spirit. And laugh with us.
Starting point is 01:26:16 Because she no longer can. I made jokes because I don't know how to handle. I can't be around you, too. I don't know how to handle. Bonnie is rubbed off too much on her. Okay, she's like it's hot She's hanging out with Bonnie rubbing on me. What's that? It's like it's her giggle gets you soft Her giggle is an extra pill
Starting point is 01:26:39 No, here's the thing. I don't know how to handle stuff like that So I try to make jokes but but deep down, I feel bad. Like I always try to put a mask on, and I'm sorry if I offended anybody over this, and it's, you know what I mean? I tried. I didn't, I didn't cry when my mom died, oh, like a couple of weeks ago.
Starting point is 01:26:58 What when did your mom die? A while ago. Four or five years ago. Yeah, and you just let it, you just let it. I laid a bed. Yeah, just, I try to. Yeah, and you just let it. You just let it. I laid a bet. Yeah, I just, I try to cover with you, but it is sad. And so our family, everybody's always saying how tough and you know, never sensitive, like never gets to him, like always just a thick, hard shell of a man.
Starting point is 01:27:17 She looks like a pointer. A what? A pointer. Like a dog when those point are great, you know with the little point so I'm great You are great. You're Santa great. You're my favorite You're my favorite I don't get he failed. I felt I felt I couldn't put it to get I had to call you a dog Didn't know a dog it was said pointer like a point center It's the wrong dog. Yeah, you met like you you met like a great too. Like an Irish point ahead of a great
Starting point is 01:27:47 yeah, she looks like a like a silky terrier. She's very lovely. Yeah, I love Karen. Pure breath. I like her. She's funny. She's fun. Say that word love too much. I love this. I like her a lot. I like her. I like her a lot. You're dying. I like her. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.
Starting point is 01:28:05 Hahaha. Hahaha. I really loved everybody on their way out. I mean, I hate her jacket sticks. I love her jacket. You have kidnaps like a blows. Are you kidding me? That's the kind of jacket you get if you were like on the wrestling team or I don't like
Starting point is 01:28:20 I don't like a fucking ZK have a reach. Well, you go to a sock hop after this. Yeah. Yeah, let's go to the soda jerk first. Would you blow a guy in a delorean? I would. What the fuck? You thought my was bad?
Starting point is 01:28:31 That was a good one. That was a fucking back to the future, though. Very specific. Oh, thank you. That was a great one. I didn't just call her, you look like a stinger. You look like a pointer stinging bitch of a dog. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Oh my god. That's a lot of, oh my God. Did you hear that? What do you do? He just farted so loud. We're gonna end the show. I don't believe you. I felt the current.
Starting point is 01:28:58 It was a jet stream. I want to thank you for coming on. It was a good hang of it. Oh, thanks for having me, always. I'll see you next time. And thanks for taking over the other night for a co-s. Okay. I was on the show you rocked it. Everybody loved you What are you talking about? I don't know. It was the most popular show this year. I don't know. I swear to God I'm kidding. It wasn't it did very bad. I got like three thousand
Starting point is 01:29:19 We'll see you guys next week on you know what See you guys next week on You Know What That! you

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