Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rich Vos, Kerryn Feehan, Raanan Hershberg | Black Hole
Episode Date: April 10, 2022https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-in-memory-of-sara-lemesdahms Head to https://policygenius.com/YKWD to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Learn more about your ad ...choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Siempre que se mantenga las de circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. The fact that YKW did podcast, YKW did back again
Old school back in the day, we're all starting before them all
YKW did podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules
Shut up, you're ruining this!
Rhythm or a hammer, I'm sorry, it's a comedy podcast
This is an NPR, that's the podcast done!
Is there any better show?
This is the original original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
It's the original.
Hey, what's up everybody?
It's Robert Kelly.
We're back at the studio above the comedy show,
laugh button comedy show, studios.
Stop looking at the camera.
Like you've never done TV before.
I mean, the picture is done.
Yeah, I didn't even know it was a camera over there.
Your mic's not working. Good. That over there. You're Mike's not working.
Good, that's not my fault.
It's not working.
Everybody, I want to thank all the Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, ladybugs.
I want to say a special shout out to Sarah who,
boss, she died.
No, I wasn't told about Sarah.
She's dead.
Can I fuck, I really feel bad about this. It was terrible. Sarah, I wasn't told about Sarah. She's dead. Can I fuck I really feel bad about this.
It was terrible. Sarah. She was part of into bang. She went to all she knows. You know her.
It's so sad. Why are these mics known on guys? It's so sad. Sorry. It is. It was me. Yeah,
I'm sure you did too. You knew her. She was so nice. It felt like that's biggest smile. Karen Fihian, Robert, uh, Rich Voss here tonight.
You're gonna be two people with hearts first.
Why you dress like, uh, you're wearing a white shirt.
You look a slutty, Jackie O.
First of all, we both look like we're a nice couple.
You look like, well, what are you dressing for?
Oh, no, I just fell on my golf shirt, but I like that coat.
Why, you, how disconnected are you?
I know you're a bad guy. That we're talking about somebody who passed away, and you start smashing her about her outfit. So on my golf shirt, but I like that code. Why, how disconnected are you?
I know.
That we're talking about somebody who passed away
and you start smashing her about her outfit.
I like her outfit.
But.
Good, good counter.
See?
And what do you think Sarah was wearing
when she died?
Oh my God, you sicko.
What's wrong with you?
Oh, no, we're, yes.
You do.
From where, from where?
Can we bring up a picture of her please?
You'll know her, you'll see your teeth and you'll know where right away.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, that's sad.
I won't but she.
It's not that she's she was a huge comedy fan.
Okay, listen man, but one of the nicest people, she used to come to the J.O.P. party all the time.
She was one of the ladybugs, but she was part of every, the bonfire,
Bennington, ONA.
Oh, really?
She loved, you and Bonnie, she loved comedy so much.
Like, skank fast.
She would like lose her mind.
Like, love, legion of skank.
Dave Shephow was at the stand.
She flew in from wherever she was to come.
She loved comedy.
She's seen me so many times, but not in her own.
She's driven.
She came to Detroit to see me, Jay and Ari.
And I feel so bad.
Really?
And she passed away.
That's what it was like a week ago.
It was a week ago.
And after it, I wanted to pick two really passed away.
No, we're just lying about a fucking someone dying.
Yeah.
She's dead.
She's from what?
I'm gonna get there.
Can we fucking, she's dead.
This is how you start a show off?
Well, you started it off that way.
I didn't start off bringing it up.
Someone who died, no, because you were looking at the camera.
I was looking at those pictures.
When you said to studio, I looked over there.
I didn't look at the camera.
Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.
I mean, I don't know if you would start off like that.
If you're watching on YouTube,
hit the subscribe button, please support the show
by just subscribing.
You want to really be a supporter.
You can go and support me at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.
I want to thank all you guys.
And I want to say, you know, Sarah was the best
that I'm going to miss her.
She really was.
She showed up at every study.
Pretty, but it's not even that. She't it is she's pretty but she didn't hurt
Yeah, she was really nice to look at but her energy was so positive. I mean she's not my type, but the thing is
Yeah, that she was such a nice sweet
Like this Such a nice sweet Star so off like this. How do this is life? This is what we're supposed to do. This is life. You do that at the end. You talk about it. I can't tell you why he knows nobody's gonna listen
That why would you attack me? No, no, I didn't I was I was letting you talk. No, yeah, you said no one's gonna make it through
I was letting you talk. They make it through it takes them a week
I was letting you talk they make it through it takes him a week
I don't have a short dress to wiggle in for leave no matter reslips alone. Oh
I'm sorry. I Like Karen her me. Yeah, me. Okay. Just then lips
She doesn't have a thin lip bottom. Let's talk about on her face. Oh
What do you like?
What do you fucking only fans remember?
Oh, you get afford me.
Oh, that's what I'm saying.
This is, can we just go back to Sarah, please?
Is it the dead girl?
It's not a dead girl.
Her name is Sarah and she was a beautiful fan of yours.
I'm a man, Bonnie.
Yes.
I'm sure Bonnie.
I love you, girl. Yeah. No, I'm telling you to. Listen to our Bonnie. Yes, well, Bonnie. I'm sure. I love you. Yeah. No, I'm telling you
to listen to our podcast. Yes. My wife hates me. Yeah. On left button. Oh God. Yes. She's
plugging. No, why are you wearing camouflage?
What the fuck? Yes, it is. It's a distraction. Hey, is that hang coming towards us?
No, no, that's mean.
I haven't seen anything mean to Bob in a long time.
He just did.
You said something meeting me hung up on me two days ago.
I didn't hang up on you two days.
Oh, yeah, when you were talking about some show or something,
machete or something or something.
I can't.
A machete?
I can't.
I hate him. Yeah, yeah.
One of my best friends, I can't stand.
Stand up.
So please, go to stand.
Are I go find me or something for the family or for?
What she married?
Yeah, there is.
The stand tweeted a go find me for her.
The stand?
Why the stand?
I'm not sure.
I'm just like,
I'm just like,
I'm just like,
I'm just gonna take that money and buy more pizza dough.
No, I got good pizza.
What's she married?
To the comedy game?
To comedy.
She loved it.
She was the best.
I hung out with her.
I bet she slept in the lot of comics.
I used to.
She didn't.
What?
She didn't sleep in a lot of comics.
I swear to God.
All right.
Yeah, well, you have.
That's it.
I was like, are you gonna save my cuz you tried? No, I never tried Bobby's married. I know I know just I don't head shot if you get a head shot a mouth
I don't want your hopes and dreams. I don't have to fake listen to you and
Good that's a good rule if you have a head shot. It's always been my roof since that even back when I was smoking hot
I was like I don't I don't want to be with anybody with with a head shot
I don't want to have to know what didn't have ambition. I could have
You know ambition than me. No, like to be no one has more vision than you
No, but she I'm sorry. She like
I'm as more mission than you and tattoos
and tattoos and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and put in RV. No, you like I bought an RV. No, you did. I bought an A started new life. No, it's a mini A class. No, I bought an RV because he wanted one. So I bought one. No,
you got some. I'm going to let it rot in a fucking yard. You don't have an RV. I do. You
would have a picture of it if you had one. No, I would you want an RV? That's his dream.
That's the each city that Bonnie sells a new show. Yeah, a little RV not a big one.
He wants a little RV because he knows that the day's coming when Bonnie's gonna give him a hot one.
Well you and Bonnie's just gonna fly off into the distance.
Oh, and he's gonna have to have a house.
Why not?
I don't, listen.
I would love to travel around in an RV and do one nighters and play golf.
Yeah, and just pull into a fucking park a lot and go to bed.
Oh, your dream is literally most people's like,
this is what I want to get out of.
It's a bit of a plot of pretty woman.
You want to be a hooker.
No, I'm just saying, you know,
don't you, isn't it fucking all the responsibilities we have?
It's just so fucking. what responsibility do you have?
Mortgage insurance kids where the fuck do you want me to stop?
I can keep going hitting at me. Can we stop there? I'm sorry. I didn't see you in your camouflage stop
Stop stop one half the gums out of your mouth. Yeah, fucking beauty just this
Diablo burger with a doctor pepper to go.
I'm gonna got a dim hurry.
No, shut up, person of all.
You know you got all the responsibilities.
Yeah, but can I say something?
Yeah, they're rewarning.
They're what you work for in life.
Yes, but I have another wedding coming up to pay for.
I have, you know, there's so much shit, responsibilities.
Then sell you a fucking watch, I'll give you,
I'll give you a 158 right now.
How much cash?
You know, first of all, you know,
158 right now, you know, like,
guy, you know, I can't sell it.
You can't after a month, you can,
legally, you know, you know,
my jeweler will know, and I'll never sell to me again.
You know, I don't want to talk about the watch.
I don't want to talk about the watch.
You know, do I want to talk about your little hands? You got another ring. No, I didn't know that one by accident
I hope you get robbed tonight. Oh, God. Is that nice? Yeah, it's fucking great. I would love to see some guy running down the street with your hand
I hope it's your my hand
I hope it's your my can
I like that when I liked it I
Would Sarah of like that no
Dude you can't You're gonna suck me to the dead girl or the watch for the next hour. No, you make my posture just sink. No, I don't
for the night's hour. No.
You make my posture just sink.
No, I'm just having a thing.
No, I don't.
No, I'm not.
You can't, Sarah, I'm telling you, man.
I thought she would have laughed at that.
Can I finish my fucking sentence?
She was.
She was.
Can I just finish my sentence about her
and we can move on?
Okay.
She was a real, real fucking beautiful comedy fan.
She used to come into the JOP, and you know those people
of the JOP.
We're such a jerk off party. You've been in in it and they're very vicious and mean and crazy.
She would come in and fucking be nice and not change who she is.
She was the nicest person ever.
She saw me, I've hung out with her after shows.
I feel terrible because after the Detroit show, I, she texted me that she's there.
I got fucked up.
I wanted to go get mom spaghetti with her in Kevin.
And I just got caught up and I forgot to call her back.
Oh, God.
And I got so terrible about that.
She nice.
I'd say that if you have extra gluten and prevent
tartatai.
So she had had that pasta with you.
I don't think she had a hard time.
I would have saved her life.
She'd probably still be here today.
Really?
I hope you don't be gluten.
Just kidding.
So.
I feel sad.
I feel sad, because I mean, I'm not saying that.
I know everybody's going to story after this.
You didn't do it on purpose.
I didn't do it.
Everybody's going to story about ignoring her.
No. This is. How can I? Why? Why? Why? With you two. You didn't do it on purpose. I don't know. Everybody's gonna serve out ignoring her. No
Why why why with you two you're just a mini you're a mini him with no rings Can I do the same size hands and I've one of those chairs? They're not doing anything with them. Oh, what are you gonna do?
What do you get in there? Hold pet your little Yorkie?
Can I know what are you gonna do with that chair? I'm gonna sit you with it, make $40.
We're gonna do one tonight, come on.
Big 40,000 a month.
Come on, who are you gonna do some me-ship?
You don't like those?
I like the little ones.
Maybe I'll take one of those.
Do you understand that?
Can I just stop the show right now, Karen?
Yeah.
Do you see how his brain works?
Yeah.
We're talking about this thing,
and then it is fucking brain.
He goes, can I have
a chair? Who fucking does that? A beggar. Somebody can't afford a fucking roll out. A beggar.
You are. You're a beggar. You're a fucking beggar. I didn't ask for both of them. I can't
wait till Bonnie dumps you in your We had the same dreams
Just you and you a classy
Camper begging people from fucking shit. Hey, can I get that chair?
Yeah, then I'm relevant look nice in front of my my camper
He's gonna have a beggar dog
shoes. He's gonna have a beggar dog. Bigger vans.
Stinks. Who wants to? Who asked for a chair? And look at him. They're nicely carved or old.
They match a lot of my pictures.
What do you mean they match them? 17th century Renaissance.
Renaissance. Poor shit. Victorian.
The Victorian, whatever.
Those are not that era.
That is a Moroccan theme chair.
I get that.
That's what it is.
Listen, those chairs would match in a Victorian setting.
Yeah, would it?
Yeah, I hate you.
I can't share or want you to give me one of those chairs.
I said, no, my chairs.
I don't own the fucking building.
Who owns a chair?
Those are gnomes chairs.
Oh, what does that mean?
Because he's another Jew, you're not going to get it.
No, I'm just not going to go up to a stranger.
I'm just saying I have a chair.
You know gnome, he's your friend.
Yeah, I know, but still.
Whatever.
Anyhow, you're working together. Yeah, I know, but still. Whatever. Anyhow, we're working together.
Yeah, we do a big show.
I'm actually really excited.
Two nights at the Seneca Casino.
That's gonna be fun.
The Bears Den, it's Robert Kelly and his friends.
It would have been funner if you didn't take my watch.
I didn't take your watch.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
We're gonna rent the camper.
We're gonna drive a camper. We'll drive my camper up.
First of all, your camper's a new hamster.
You're lying camper.
It's in my driveway here.
You said it was a new hamster.
Oh my God.
You should get a camper.
If you make extra money.
Yeah, you can go ahead.
I'll put a pole in the bag.
Yeah.
We could all do it.
Yeah.
I'll write it out together.
There's got to be somebody who's into this.
What's that?
Me.
Is Mark podcast for me.
We call it the only sapper.
Can't press.
Is that what I'm going to call the fa-
What would I be on the internet?
What would this be?
If you're looking for me, what would you type in on the-
B-E-L-U.G.A.
B-E-L-E.
Blue,
Baloochi.
What's that mean?
Balooca.
I mean, it's a whale.
Oh, not that that wasn't nice.
What I should have said is,
Boba, no, listen.
B-E-L-E-B-R-I-T-Y. I'm bored. It was not
What I'm just connected
He said blue blue Chey I would have been good
Under I would look under
Kindhearted what headliner
Yeah, that's what people want to come to.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
A Nile.
Way back to come with her.
A mild tempered.
Dude, your expert is something you get to fucking.
I'm your head, I mean.
10,000 hours.
Holy shit.
10,000 hours.
It's a lot.
Did your sister get married?
Over the pandemic, yeah.
Well, what's the, how does Well, how does your brain work?
I need to know.
So I wanted to start being an I know that
the fight is a point of what there is.
If I wanted to talk to Karen about Sarah
for 10, 15 minutes, we could go into it,
we could go back and forth with stuff.
And she'd have a conversation with me.
You have fucking, you have ping ponged and pinballed,
your brain, you went,
Yeah, you have adult ADD HD I think.
Yes, you do.
That's almost different now.
It's all timers.
Oh.
See, it's me, you're mad.
What do you want to know?
Me?
You.
Oh, there's no reason to attack.
I buddy.
I swear it.
There's no reason. You know, I'm so glad you have a spot.
The problem is when you point to finger at me, you're pointing three back at your show.
When you point to finger at somebody, you're pointing three little things back at you.
This feels like the backro of an AA meeting. We're all talking shit.
Anyways, listen, here's what are you drinking? What the fuck I am not at small talking with you. Okay, let's get some stuff. I'm trying to
But you can have a chair. Is she get mad? What are you drinking?
I finished the thought can I finish the thought? Yeah, so can I plug the fucking day give it hell
I put it up
Seneca casino the bears done me rich,
Voss, the legend and the rattlesnake.
Why'd you look at me when you said that?
You know, uh, Lewis Gomez.
Lewis J Gomez.
So, uh, wow.
I can't believe we're playing in a place you sleep.
Very good.
He's back. He's back.
But wait a second. I heard it's a great room. Lewis J Gomez. It's going to be a great room. Very good He's back
I heard it's a great room Louis J. Gomez. It's gonna be a great room Joe's gonna open And then we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do
But it's gonna be a fun weekend and we should figure out Joe's gonna come up
We're gonna be vlogging the whole weekend. Yeah, me and Vos are gonna drive up together
I was trying to talk my daughter in the going, but she won't go don't bring your kid. I'm not't want to there's nothing I don't know I don't know arena. I wanted to take her on the made it amissed
But she's not gonna go. What what's that?
The boat under Niagara Falls to made it amiss the maid of the made it's called the boat ride under Niagara Falls
Is it the maid of the mist? I mean town's really got to say a pencil head the maid of the fucking mist
I'm a town sure we got to say a pencil head the maid of the fucking mist
Couple more times pencil dick
Listen I thought you were saying me
It sounds like me
Made of the mist you guys should all go together do like a wet t-shirt thing under the Niagara Falls
Too worried we gotta go on it Yeah, look I did don't let him push you into being worthy you you'll get him back just slow down
I'm mad just just you're there. I know just realized there's the problem. Yes, I know the problem
We all know your problem. I'm not going on that stupid thing. Why it's cool. There he is
Round on your red over here, dude
Round on Hershberg everybody big special this weekend filming Saturday night
When
Monday Monday night
He will be at the
Village Underground Village Underground Monday night.
How many shows?
Uh, two shows eight and 10 eight and 10.
He's filming a special.
That's great.
It's gonna be great.
Village Underground and he's very funny.
I tore with him, but Louis fucking murdered every night.
Are they doing except for one night?
What was the one night when Louis went up before us?
Oh, that was terrible.
Louis Louis is very funny.
He was like on the mic making jokes.
We were cracking up.
But one night he was like,
ah, just go out there and fuck the crowd.
And I said, no, you can't do that
because once you're out there, they don't want you to.
No, that was actually okay.
Except for me, it was a bad stuff for him later.
It was weird, right?
Wasn't that what it was?
I think, well, I mean, you're an ego maniac,
so you thought, thank you did well.
I think Louis couldn't follow me, that's how I remember it.
Yeah, that's not what happened.
What's that soul, Joel, I keep hearing about it.
It's like this, I know.
Oh, okay, sorry.
I was like, man.
Can you fill it in on the Chris Rock slap thing?
I wrote for those Oscars. What? I wrote for those Oscars.
What?
I wrote for the Oscars.
Did you write in the slap?
No, I wrote for Will.
You wrote for this year for Will.
No, I don't get it.
Tell me.
I'm a pizza.
I didn't even know Jada had a sister.
That's pretty good. I was really, I mean, I guess I was like so upset
by that whole thing for like days.
Upset days about.
No, the slap.
Yeah.
I was like outrage and everyone's like, who cares?
Who's the best?
We got a lot of people like who cares?
We got bigger issues and then Louie wanna gram it out.
Your mom has to worry about her daughter.
She didn't care at all.
She's on flu.
Her daughter is fucking showing her tush.
You are upset.
I timed it so bad I came.
What?
You came.
Two minutes after the slap.
I gave a fuck because he's a comic.
Yes.
And it's such a, it's such a hamp-
There's such a hamp- We there's such a hampic.
We'll smith her to the great comic.
But they're fucking hypocrites.
They are really nice.
They talk about peace and we have to treat each other
with kind of, we have to clean up the ocean's turtles,
have straws in their noses,
and then they just whack each other in the face
when they hear something wrong.
You think, well I can,
well you think that was tough for Chris?
Watch him try to do a black room.
I get like uncomfortable, black room. I get uncomfortable, I get uncomfortable just being at a party
like being too loud and he fucking walked on stage.
I know, it's great.
It's like someone, you're like a danger to society.
You can trust the fact that they didn't throw him out
and dread that you fucking,
that there's just a bunch of phonies.
It's not fucking, I don't fucking hate well. I think Jada is a fucking evil
Fucking demon. She's an evil demon who fucking a demon does she's a demon
I'll be back and oh my god. What are you a spell checker? You know how to spell we get it
You have a great ass and you can spell if you're fucking two qualities
Relax. I
I think Jade is the fucking
Will is a victim
Will's a victim man. He got a fucking and he had to go do some stupid shit that she my wife
If I ever got up on the night of my life, and I
mean, she would grab me by my fucking ear level.
Go sit the fuck down.
You're right.
You're about to make fucking a little money.
Right.
And I get to leave you.
I get to finally leave you and become a lesbian.
Sit the fuck down.
Well, to be fair, she just an IRL.
She did like, she didn't like you.
You didn't see what she did.
What was it, boy?
She fucking gave him a look like
I could take care of this and you know what I mean when your wife
Gives you a look. Yeah, I had and she probably probably had to talk about it beforehand
People talking about her fucking
You know alopecia was probably on edge
You know just walk up and slap somebody you don't go from zero to 60
What I think you had a nervous breakdown.
I think you like totally snapped after years of just like,
oh my wife fucks all the guys.
Oh my God.
That was so funny.
His son's friends, like the humiliation is so like, wow.
Yeah, and he's a, he's a, he's a young buck too.
Do you see that dude?
Yeah.
The guy that she fucked.
Whenever he's in her entanglements. Her entanglement wasn't with like a young buck too. Do you see that dude? The guy that she fucked. Whenever he was in her entanglements.
Her entanglement wasn't with like a young nerdy kid
that needed help.
Well, I think he was a-
My will was probably mad doubly
because he probably wanted to fuck him too.
Will's so gay.
He's like, I don't think he's gay.
I think he's so gay.
How do you say, tell me.
The way he hit Chris Rock was gay,
like, if you're gonna fuck him.
Yeah, if you're gonna- He slapped like a drag queen. Yeah. The way he walked off and was gay Like a game if you're gonna fuck him. Yeah, I'm gonna slap like a drag queen
Yeah, the way he walked off and like held his belt buckle like this is Jefferson
It kind of look like a high five at first, and then it kind of became a slapper
He almost like backed off with his shoulders like I
Don't think I don't think I think he's gay and Jada pegs is shit out of him and looks like a little cow girl
That make you gay
You've been pegs. Yeah, I've been pegs by a man with his dick. I don't think your act was true
I'm not making a peg in
It's an act of imagining I've been pegged by a guy's dick. That's right. Okay, you got peg by guy's dick
Dude you gotta stop You just have to say you're gonna stop. You're gonna be sick. As long as you just say you're being pegged by a guy's dick.
You got pegged by a dude?
And not asked by a man.
I'm gonna learn.
You get pegged.
That was a guy, but he had a deal though.
He just pegged me with his dick.
He pegged me with his dick.
I'm not gay.
I'm so denial that a guy's a guy, but he has a deal though.
And he just pegged me.
It's not gay.
Just don't use your dick.
Oh, can I put my dick in for one minute?
All right, one minute.
Put it in for one minute. I'm not gonna be a gr. I'm not gay. Just don't use your dick. Oh, can I put my dick in for one minute? All right, one minute, put it in for one minute.
I'm not gonna get the egg.
I'm not angry.
I'm attractive.
I got a peg by a woman.
You got a peg with a strap on.
Yeah, yeah.
Was it a, is there a certain pegging dildo
or is it just any dildo?
Is it like a peg?
Do you go in and say, hey, I'm gonna get a peg,
can I get a medium pegger?
Like is there an interesting?
You can't say that.
I guess?
I guess you can say that.
I guess you go in and show your asshole.
I'm be like, what, what fits in here?
You can just try it all.
You can just show it off and be like, you know,
like a ring, like a ring.
I wear it outside, can I wear it?
But I, she ordered it.
So I don't, I mean, I don't.
They wash off the three different size pegs.
You can sit on them. You can, well, she'll have a parallel.s. You can sit on them You're all the different colors from being in other people's asses. We're on the road for a month every night
Just went up and be like my name's Ron and I've been pegs. That's like my opening line. I didn't listen to you one night
Early that's crucial info though. I mean do you say that in passing at all or only on stage?
Do you say that in passing at all or only on stage? Only on stage, not yeah.
That makes me wonder how real it is.
If I ask my wife to peg me, she'd leave me.
Really?
She'd leave you?
Because she'd seen what happens in the toilet.
She's, she's, number, she's just old school.
She doesn't like, you know, she's an old school chick from Boston.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
She'll fight a bitch and she's from, fuck down.
I'm not fucking sticking something in your ass.
Yeah.
You're fucking, go stick your own shit in your ass.
Don't use my dough, those, you fucking dirty cogs,
I got you know, you're gonna eat my meatloaf
and then you want me to go in there and your ass off?
Oh, fucking way.
I, she has really good meatloaf.
I love meatloaf.
I got a message about this woman on Bumble
who's like very cute.
The fuck is Bumble.
It's where they get, no wonder you know nothing about it.
Yeah, I married with his family. You guys are lonely with no
But you have fucking yeah, and I don't need to go
On whatever fan base that I have what's with you. Yeah, I had fucking we're gonna check your DM requests right now
I'm sure it's full of paggers
I
Bumble is a daddy app where the woman messages you first. Oh really? I don't get a lot of messages
But what the ones you do you get paying wow this girl is really cute
Probably like hey does Louis still jerk off in front of people
This girl was really cute like every pictures cute and then I looked trans
But oh really, but did you look at you want to see the picture?
I do don't show the camera because I don't want I'm not gonna show it to you show me
Yeah, you know one gym noten to break up with his girlfriend
But I mean I honestly I've always said it was fucking cock block you
I always said if you go all the way if you go all the way and it looks good all I'll fuck what's it? Oh a trans
It's transphobic not to to really believe their women
You have to have a liby liby.
I was like a dick to prove that I'm woke as fuck.
I could have tricked you and not and shown you and not told you.
And you would have been like, she's hot, but I don't want to have a crisis.
Dude, I would go home to my house, take my wife by her ankles, and she's sleeping and
drag her out of the, in the yard and throw all her shit on her head and toss max on her stomach for this
She is
And she had a vagina which I know I'm out. I'm out. What?
I yeah, she has a vagina
Wait a minute. How do you know she's not just like a seven eight regular woman who goes?
I know it'll put me over the edge. I'll tell people are you high right now? I used to be a dude are you high right now?
No, listen like a I used to be a dude. Are you high right now? No, listen to me. It's like a comic.
You're trying to have a big singing for some reason.
You're like, hey, how do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah.
I think she's cute.
I mean, I don't think God's are like, oh, she's cute.
But what's your thing?
I don't know if I want to fuck her.
That looks like a girl to me.
It's a girl.
That's a girl.
It's not.
That's a girl.
I wasn't born one.
That's fine, but she'd be. I'm sure that's fine. It's not that's a girl. I wasn't born one. That's fine But she be that's fine in your book. I understand I will I will just slowly becoming a man
She is a fucking girl
If you don't have sex with her, you don't believe in transgender rights because you have to like
That's not true because that's the lie you're telling yourself so you can be by
True because that's the lie you're telling yourself so you can be by
I don't want to fucker. Yeah, it's now do you understand how a vagina works that was made? I don't actually okay You need some stuff. Well, what do you mean? Well, it's not it's not
It's a black hole right no suction. It's not a wallet. I mean, you fucking like a catchers. No, Jesus.
It's like a fucking song.
No.
Things.
No.
Sorry.
I don't mean to talk shit to the transgender community
is a new pussy.
Oh, it's or the science behind them.
What's it like?
What's it like?
What's it like?
Feehan, I want to fucking tackle you right now.
You're such a piece of shit.
No, I'm curious.
I don't actually don't know.
I don't need that. It's it's it's you have to use you have to use cream. You're such a piece of shit. No, I'm curious. I know I actually don't know anything
It's it's it's you have to use you have to use cream you have you can't just I do that at any time
They're always drawn to the giant ocean
What you've glued every time they're like the pussy seal up on him
He has to get one of those clams shutters toners to get inside of, I'm the one who made the joke.
Okay, we're in.
We're in.
Wait a minute, can we talk about,
because where can they go?
It is sort of like a black hole
because it's not like it leads
to the female reproductive system, you know?
No, but it's, it's,
it leads to a regular man's fucking fucking.
We can bring it up, can't we bring it up?
You can show him.
Sure.
There's actually a really, I went down to black hole one night on the YouTube, a black hole. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de pelÃcula y un sincÃn de aventuras te esperan.
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Volotea.
Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I went down, I watched a bunch of the stuff, and it's interesting how they make it,
but it's how they make it.
Like pay me a price.
They can just take the penis becomes the clitoris
or the lateness.
Right.
And the balls kinda go in and make the pocket,
I would say a pocket, and that's where your penis
can go in and out of.
So I get, so the,
In between the balls,
like those like, you know,
there's like Chinese balls you hold in your
I don't want to I don't want to say out of
I don't remember it fully,
but I'm pretty sure they just
there's the animation. Do you have the
animation? I'm looking for it.
Why is your voice so deep?
Did you get even Jaina?
Are you getting a dick put on?
I'm looking for it. My name's Nicky.
She's trying to visioning right now.
Um, yeah, uh,
there was a trans girl at a, um, My name's Nicky. She's trying to fish it in right now. Yeah.
It was a trans girl at a Starbucks once,
and I don't wear a Louisiana.
Oh, shit.
Speaking of trans.
They're running behind.
Okay, cool.
Fuck them.
We're talking about, you run on.
So.
Why you got two Jews with a list on them? It was a big deal. Oh, you're right. Yeah, but I could take a cove cove
It's over me and me and you would have it. What were you talking about?
What's talking about he got pegged by a girl and he's actually maybe hooking up with a trans girl
Cuz this is it's gonna fuck you up too much from the process
I'm gonna get the link. Because this is gonna fuck you up.
Still went from the process, I want to.
We were talking about.
All right, here we go.
This is how it is.
This is how they make a vagina.
But this is how they make a vagina.
Oh man.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
This is how they make it.
This is rich erect.
This is rich erect.
Yeah, kind of a couple of inches off of that.
Oh.
All right, so they take the penis out.
I'm gonna pay money now.
And then they make that. Okay, oh, so there you go. They take the penis out. I'm gonna pay money now. And then they make that, okay.
Oh, so there you go.
They take the penis, turn, that's the shaft
becomes the vagina hole.
And then they take the head of it
and that becomes the clip.
Why cut off such a beautiful thing?
And there's your vagina.
It's a nice looking pussy.
Wait, what did you, what did they do with the balls?
Looks like yours.
What did they do with the ball?
The ball is the clitoris, man.
No, the head of the dick is it. That's where you pee. That's where they pee. That's where they
pee. Yeah, they pee. They pee out of that. Where's the balls? I
don't know. I'm saying shit. The balls are right there. Dude,
the balls are the powers. Chin. The balls. The balls are the
pussy. Yeah, the balls become the pussy. So they slice the
balls. The balls. Look, see, the balls are gone. They put
it in its due. They make three wishes they take they take the the peanut keep going
play it again play it again Sam go with the reversal they take the shaft so your
penis boss will be very yeah you have a giant canal would be very small I have a
decent penis hard there you go And then there's the peel
Yeah, I'm I'd fuck that. What's it? You know, it's all the say it's it's it seems like that's what it is
I've a John is just a what if what if she had a penis feel like the circumference of a penis is way larger than
My personal tiny you mean was
Clitoris
Tight pussy. No, I think just from I know what a penis
looks like even the smallest ones right have you been with small penis yeah you
know I've stopped handing out the favors what's up and not some participation trophies
so I hate some good tries I hate my dick It's fucking nice. I mean everybody says that. No, I can prove it. Go ahead.
What's up, Larry?
I'm doing it, buddy.
So wait, you met a training online?
A training?
You can't say it in a training.
What do you say?
First of all, boss, say,
we were in a meeting,
some type, this group thing that we were talking,
and there was a
Transexual in there trans and fucking dumb talking about that movie
What he started dude? He started this idiot stuck dude. What's that movie with the
No, I know worse
Transy.
Transy.
Transy.
No, it was transy.
What's on later, Zamo?
What's on later, Zamo?
The transy.
And when he's like, right, it's all Transylvania, right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
And he goes, now, what do you say?
How do they say it?
Transy, transvesty?
Transy, right?
I'm laughing my ass off because boss is just a
freaking out person never came back.
Ha ha.
No, I wasn't being mean.
I just I didn't know you can't say
training anymore.
No, no, no, I didn't mention it.
Uh-huh.
Sounds affectionate.
You know, what do you say instead of
transsexual?
Transsexual.
No, wait, transgender. Transgenderxual. No, wait, transgendered.
Transgendered, yes, there's another one.
I just did a show in Fort Myers
and the host one night was a dude that became a girl,
but he was like an old, like at 55 or 50,
it seems like kind of late, you know,
because he was an ugly man.
Not if you're getting a brand new pussy,
because you're putting the same as a one year old.
I don't know if it was cut off or he just put on bad wigs,
but I said, are you like this in the day,
or is this for your act, you know, some people.
You know, they have the female impersonators
like a werewolf situation, or you always
know a lot of guys that wear wigs now.
The pandemic made a lot of people put wigs on.
Yeah.
You know, like male and female.
Yes, we have.
So any, she said no.
She doesn't all the time, but she,
I don't want to piss her off with a shoes though.
Train with sugar ray Leonard as a boxer.
And I don't want to get beat up.
It's so funny.
You go to a certain person be like, do you wear this costume all the time
or are they just that?
Well, no, I said, no.
Is that we get hot down here in Florida?
You can you golf in that thing?
No, I wasn't being mean.
That wasn't being mean in that.
Of course, you know, a lot of people don't know.
People, you know, but right now, you,
you get a lot of girls.
You get laid a lot. I don't, I don't I don't think so yeah you do he gets laid
he gets laid dude middle acts are getting laid on the road you headline on a road right yeah it's
taking a special Monday at the village underground so it's my mailman but wait a second Can you get me a ride? Where are you originally from? I'll do a Vulcan Tucket. Oh, what shitty place I do there.
Tommy Caravan.
The guy fucking ripped me off.
I hope her money.
Did you?
You make me off for a long time ago.
Like a long time ago.
You made me off for that fucking criminal.
He was like a comic.
He had big shoes or something like.
He owned a place but he was a bad...
Well, there's been a couple people.
There's Tom Sobel.
No, it was right there.
Sobel, I named Darrell.
Yeah, that asshole.
Or Chris Bowers or no, not Darrell.
Yeah, Chris was from Indiana.
Yeah, yeah.
He was a nice guy.
No, Darrell, that guy.
Yeah, he was a piece of shit.
Yeah.
He ripped me off.
Ah, just a scumbag.
Yeah.
These clubs, and it was like shit money to begin with.
I was doing a door deal deal and they would take poker chips
and put them like that's how many people walked in.
He was just how many poker chips can I what?
And then he goes and then military,
we gave them a discount and what the fuck?
He beat me for like 500 bucks or something
and I what are you gonna do?
You just go fuck off and you leave
and you live and learn that's all you live and learn in life and this is
the voice and boss's head.
We've all been a lot of show very cool. Wow. Before my hair was just looking at it
you're like what is before it was happening. This is how we had in Fort Myers I
hit a major bonus. So it was good numbers.
Shut up.
Everybody gets good numbers from January until fucking June.
No, I don't always do.
I know.
So you've never been on an app to date?
A dating app?
Yes.
No, but a true story.
When I was trying to find my daughter,
a babysitter, I went on care.com and I was looking at the profiles like it was a dating
app because I never had one. And I would go, now that one's too chunky to watch my kid,
right? Come on, all my devil dogs would be eating. But there was a real hot one who didn't
know anything about kids, but I didn't care we would teach her.
I went to meet her and she goes,
where's your wife and kid?
I'm not bringing those cock blocks, right?
And he's doing bits on that.
I know.
I just forget nuts.
I've been in trouble.
I don't think the dollar show before.
You're not getting a bonus here.
No.
No, I've never been on a date.
Didn't have them back.
Yeah, yeah.
You've been, yeah.
We would walk around the bar, me, my friend, a date didn't have them back. Yeah, yeah, you've been we would walk around the bar me my friend
Is sound we people of the girls I would he will walk around and I'd follow him and I would see what girls were talking about him and point
And Adam, you know, oh, if any of them look back look at him and point us and then I would say those girls
The by catch. Yeah, I was like and then yeah, we were back in the day you had to approach women strangers, but now that's rape
So the dating apps are come. Why is that what do you mean? Yeah, dude? I used to love I used to do shows
I used to be chicks from comedy. Yeah, yeah, mainly, but I would be I'd look out like fucking Van Halen and just
Find I'm that I'm gonna hook her up and I would do all my I tell jokes
Yeah, like boom bang bang laugh and I go what hook up and I would do all my, I tell jokes. You're like boom bang bang laugh and I go, what's up?
You like that?
You know, like, I go back, it worked.
Oh yes, sexy bobby, dude, when I was fucking shredded.
Dude, you outta your mind.
I'm not leaving.
And then you see them, you'd hang out front.
Hey, you were funny, you're funny, too.
Come here for a second, where you going?
Yeah, dump these fucking squares.
Let's go get some Tauese, Kathy Reggio Kathy, Reggio, and I didn't spend any money.
That don't drink.
I don't use drugs.
So I would just go to the French roast.
It's taking me a little French, let's get some tea
and we'd hang out and we'd fucking,
thinking of being doing real estate.
And I should do that, you should do that.
Now let's go, let me finger fuck you
on a vestibule somewhere.
I always ask you, even now I'll ask a girl
if she's ever been to a Hampton Inn, right?
That's my good rap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I used to, I feel bad because a whole art form
of for women too, of meeting somebody,
like the little nuances of no fuck you and yeah
There's there was that thing that you had to go through you had to go through this dance to get to the point of a kiss yes and
I you know to kiss somebody the to meet somebody
Go somewhere with them. Are you gonna cry?
Is that nice? I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna Yeah. Adolescent boys. So it's not that they really want to be men.
It's just like they don't want to be women because they're not having like the fun that it is to be a woman who gets hit on.
Getting hit on, I mean, I would know.
Is that where you're gonna say? No, it's gonna say it must be cool because you probably get hit on you.
It's a cure of fucking small titted weirdos. A lever, a lever.
I was talking around. a fucking small titted weird house. A lever, a lever. It's not good. Any devil's teeth.
I was talking to Ronald.
No.
I actually appreciate it.
Listen, no, I'm saying that you,
you must get in on all the time.
All the time.
And it must feel good in some way, right?
That's why I still do upper mics.
Yeah.
But it's probably, I know comics that you should do that.
But is it annoying to you?
Or do you like it seriously?
I like it now.
I'm old.
You like it?
Yeah. Not old. I'm getting you like it. Yeah, not old
I'm getting old you're beating down, but you're not old
That's worse things
Who are you 32? Yep
And I a good way to gauge your age when you start liking boss is the worst
I yes
Boss will literally insult you and then compliment you and then insult you worse
Within a half a second
I never I look at you as a young gal.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're 65.
You look at everybody.
You look at my father.
You can't let me have just one compliment.
Yeah, what are you training bra alone?
I know.
I was gonna tell by this is a bra.
You might want to look into it.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, hey, I was kidding.
I'm okay with the after can I never approach
Yeah, but that bothers me
I say something guys like you shouldn't be getting late you should be fucking fixing shit and fucking sending rockets into
We should be getting late. We should be in the now we can get a nerd
And now you guys later without approach. He said we should be getting the now we can get a Nerd-green app and now you guys later without approach
He says we should be there. He's talking about himself. I
Could never like approach. I can't approach right now. I can't you shift
You show it to good show. Yeah, they'll come up to you. I have a woman comes up to me. That's different
I never like you can't feel them out from this do you do any crowd work? I stop what stop stop stop
Put your headphones on or leave the fucking podcast
There's no need to be nasty no because you would do in radio. You're a legend and you still don't talk into the microphone
I need your voice
No one else is not talking to the microphone except for you. We need your gems
Yeah, we need your gems. I love when you use them.
I mean, if women approach me,
but I just couldn't ever get them.
I mean, like, Stavros Hawkeyes,
I mean, what, you know, a physical abomination, right?
And he gets so much fucking put through it.
Yeah, I mean, girl has a dream of fucking jackal.
But he gets pussy from comedy, not from apps, right?
You're saying you get it from comedy, right?
Yeah, I get it from comedy.
But you're saying you use apps, though. I do it from the most
of the- That's how you fill the seats at the comedy. Yeah but I've never I've never
like gone up to- but back in the day before I was doing comedy or apps
you would have to be at a bar and go up to a woman and start a conversation.
You have to go conversation. I can never do that. Yeah.
Then you on you this is the problem is they we
I could do that.
That's a fucking superhero power.
You could do math and read no big words,
and no fucking French films,
and I could fucking fight and get pussy.
Oh, I mean, you have to get it all.
Nurt, even the playing field, mother fucker.
I don't like that.
I don't like that nerds.
She took away everything.
They're like, how do we get it? so we don't have to go up to girls?
We'll just create a state of gap with the bubble and then it'll approach and then we'll know if they like us.
Wait, wait, you're perfect.
Why am I writing jokes for this asshole?
I can be the star.
It's perfect.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, but you had to be on stage to meet girls.
You know, just walking up to them in a bar.
I met Jimmy before.
So did I, but there was Coke involved or party.
I'm not chicken, and I do nice to go to A.A.
I did a Friday and Saturday night.
I usually get ahead in the parking lot of St. Mary's.
Yes.
Every fucking Friday and Saturday night.
That's bad.
What do they call that?
13, 13 stepping.
13 stepping.
Oh, it's terrible.
I'll be back.
That was either that or drink.
You've gone too many steps.
Yeah, anyway, you know, I don't do anymore. I love doing cameos on your podcast
Sorry, I didn't plan this me and Bonnie are gonna be at zany's Chicago this Friday
And I'm gonna be I'm gonna be there too, but so fun look at us. Yeah this weekend. Well, I'm at Rosemont
I didn't mean to step on you, but I really did
I'm sorry, she's looking like a watch. I'm well, I'm at Rosemar I didn't mean to step on you, but I really did
I met McGubbies this weekend
I'm not ruining anything
Ruining anything you can't ruin something she just called ruined she just called a brat. I like when she yells at me and calls me a brat
Okay, that was me 20
I close on our dates where she's gonna be this weekend with Aaron put them correct. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where are you going?
Zamy and do it good don't
Don't do your alternative
I don't know where we are
No, where the fuck you doing Plug your date like a regular person.
Friday, two shows, seven and nine.
Yes.
And then Saturday, we're at this place called the Vixen.
Awesome place.
Yes.
And it's gonna be me and Bonnie and some of us.
Great fucking show.
Yeah, we're gonna cross.
It's gonna be great.
You're gonna kill, go and check them out.
Make sure you check them out.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm gonna be that Rosemont Thursday and Friday in Chicago
and then downtown Chicago Saturday. Oh, they have two Zanies? Yeah, they got to. I think they have
even more. But most importantly comes to my
tape. Yeah, Monday, make sure you go. But go see that. That's a fucking killer show.
It'll be a great show. That's a good Chicago comedy weekend.
Anywho, yeah, I don yeah, I'm very fucking mad
that nerds have taken over the world.
I mean, think about who,
think about who the coolest motherfuckers are right now.
Elon Musk, dude on the spectrum.
Can't even look you in the eye while he's talking to you.
You can't even see him dance.
Ugh, fucking nuts.
He was like, dance with a little flying robot one time.
He's like, now he owns Twitter.
Autistic people think about it.
A lot of it.
Yeah, it's fucking done.
I know.
I mean, Facebook.
Yeah, I don't know if he's cool, but yeah.
It's not cool.
Fuck.
Why are you, I thought you were listening cool people.
I'm like, I don't know if it's cool.
No, no, no.
It used to be fucking cool is dead.
Yeah.
Cool is fucking dead. What's cool, yeah. What's cool, it used to be fucking cool is dead. Yeah, cool is fucking dead.
What's cool, that?
I'm the cool thing now.
Yeah, he knows about fucking foreign films
and he speak another language.
Speak a little Hebrew.
No, that's always attractive.
It's a pussy wet.
I love it.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Just spit on it.
I love it.
I love a gutter old conversation. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I love it.
It is a gross language.
Can you speak a little?
I can do a prayer.
I don't know.
I need a Venevraith.
Do a little more.
That was kind of a ruchatah.
Hello, hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, and hello, And woof. Yeah, and then they bob when they read and it's backwards.
It's kind of weird.
I feel like having a seizure.
They're like, what is that?
What does that mean?
The dovin'ing, the shaking?
Is that what's called dovin'ing?
The dovin'ing is praying.
Are you just saying David different?
Um.
I don't know.
They're trying to be in the moment in like pray,
so they're just trying to, what does that do?
All the praying is repetition,
so they're like just repeating these things they know by heart.
They're just repeating it.
So I guess they're just kind of using their whole body
as they're doing that.
I mean, there are some movements you do in prayer.
Like there's certain prayers where you have to step forward
or step back.
Like a dosi dough.
Like electric slide.
But that is just like kind of, wasn't that.
That's like, you know, the dosi dough is like, we can go, I know what that is dumb dumb. Listen, wasn't, that's like, you know, that does you know,
it's like we can go, I know what that is dumb dumb.
Listen, what does the thing they wrap around their arms?
Is that what it's called?
It looks like a heroin, like, yeah, it looks like,
I was, I was at an airport one, this guy,
instead of wrapping his arm up, I'm like,
what the, are you about to boot up heroin?
It looked fucking crazy.
Obviously, you need some insulin?
There's a, there's a, there's a prayer in there.
It's the same prayer.
Must not make a small titty joke.
Okay, okay.
An old face joke.
Fucking keep it up.
Come on, come on.
All right.
I thought I had my, I thought I had my fun.
Oh, boom.
You better find a little kid quick.
Which jokes?
I listen, I'm sorry.
You're beautiful.
You know, I think you're beautiful.
Well, I'm not gonna go myself.
Run on.
I'm not talking to you. Oh. sorry you're beautiful. You know, I think you're beautiful. Well, I'm gonna go myself run on I'm not talking to you
So what's it I had nice eyes the other day, but I don't I don't think I have I think I've kind of
You have nice eyes the rest of it's a little fucking puffy lines
I
Can't believe you get pussy You get a lot of it. I don't know if I get a lot. I like I like't believe you get pussy.
You get a lot of it.
I don't know if I get a lot of it.
I like guys like you though.
Yeah, what's a lot?
I like guys like that aren't afraid to explore,
who don't care sexually.
I don't go with, I like the tracking.
Well, I don't care, yeah, Greg Stone's a similar,
you know, I hate guys who like do a Dutch fucking gay,
you're fair, I can blah, blah, and then you find out they did all this shit
And you like to stop it
Do I love Norton so much cuz he's so he's from the ghetto just of course he did it as jokes and we all thought he was joking
You know and then you go over his house and there's trash bags in the bathroom
What are you doing? I got someone coming in a couple minutes
But I Like I like that when people are open.
Yeah, you know, I, you know, everyone's, you know, on some kind of, it's all spectrum,
you know, I'm not like, if I wasn't married, I'd probably do some weird shit now.
I like a little, sometimes I like getting like a little beat up and stuff like that.
Yeah. Like, what does a little beat up mean? Well, the last girl I, like, wow, like what does a little beat up mean?
Well, the last girl I was saying, she, I mean, she kind of liked it.
But she would like kind of like punch me hit me, you know,
you would, would you hit her?
No, no.
Of course you could.
She's like, it doesn't hurt.
Like, you have to hire me to do it.
Hey, too, kick him over and smack my girlfriend in the face while the
fucker.
I just don't got it.
I like how you think punch against sex is the point
is to be even harder than the punch you got.
I don't like that stuff.
No.
She liked it, she had a lot of anger and I don't mind.
I don't like anger.
Who you date and Jessica Kurshin?
What are you doing?
Fucking choke me, I hate myself.
You know what's it a lot, but she just, you know,
I don't like a little,
I sometimes I like it rough, yeah.
You know why?
Cause when you get hit, it's kind of nice
cause you don't have to do anything.
You're just lying there.
Being hit, if you're like, you know,
what are you submissive one?
Yeah.
You get to just kind of chill out.
You're not expected to make a partner climax or anything.
Well, I always do that.
But like,
I thought you'd just get the shit kicked out
of you and pass out.
How do you stay awake?
But it is nice to just kind of lie there and just, you know.
I mean, you know I don't know.
I reach to the quiet.
No, I do all the work.
I'm very acrobatic.
You do all the work.
You like to be in charge.
Yeah, I like mirrors, I like cameras,
I like a show, I like neighbors.
Really? I love an Amazon delivery guy. Strolling by. I like mirrors, I like cameras, I like a show, I like neighbors. Really?
I love an Amazon delivery guy.
I'm scrolling by.
I like that.
Oh, yeah, voyeuristic.
I was very voyeur, what in my younger days?
That's toddler being drug away from a window.
Just scuttling.
Get him out of there. Get him out of there.
It's about to get weird. Get a little tami out of there.
It just makes me sick.
No, I like voyeurism was my thing back in the day.
I was just this girl.
I believe that certain people you can be in love with
and have good sex, but there's some people
you're just supposed to fuck each other.
Of course.
I mean, you two are not supposed to be together.
You're not supposed to fucking spend any holidays.
But you two were made to fuck the shit out of each other.
And there's been girls in my life where it's like, listen.
Fuck mates.
I mean, but just when your penis goes in her vagina,
you're in love.
Like, I fucking love you.
Yeah.
And I've got to shame when you come.
Well, as soon as you come, you're like, I need to leave.
I need to get out of here. I course. I've had a couple girls like that. One of them was, we were very
voyeuristic and that was my, I love it. Like other people watching? No, not getting other people
watching. I've had that. But public. But like, we had sex. Like, we had sex and she, like, was
hanging out the window. And people were walking by. Like a studio apartment.
It was like a second floor.
So they couldn't get to her, like a pinata.
Yeah, and just, fuck a bunch of dudes just grabbing her tits.
They couldn't get to her.
The last girl was where she liked to do it in front of the window.
We used to do drive-ins.
Like we go to drive-ins, like Dunkin' Donuts.
And she'd just be blowing me in the drive-ins.
But that get whiteash real quick.
You were like, we fucking the wind up like cool.
They're like, she gave me a hand job
behind a Wendy's at a dumpster.
Yeah, we like that.
I like that shit.
I like role-playing though a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, do you role-play?
Yeah.
What is your go-to?
Doctor patient.
Oh, it's mine.
I tell you, are you the doctor or the patient?
No, I'll be patient. Oh, you're the patient. Yeah. I like the fun. I tell you that's are you the doctor or the patient now? She's the oh you the patient. Yeah, I like to find I like to be the patient
Skin tag skin tag
Look my armpit. I would be the patient
Jerk my fucking board
Why I've been knew what I was I was an Israel recently and they have these really hot. It's like in Israel, all the jobs that are ugly people here are like hot people there.
Like the TSA, Israel is like a fucking porno.
But the hot Israeli army women, I would love to be like a Palestinian guy being pulled
over.
So you pretend you're Palestinian.
You want to be a prisoner of war.
I want to be a prisoner of war. I want to be a prisoner of work.
You want to get pegged with a machine gun.
You want to have like a bomb strapped.
Yeah. Yeah.
You want to grenade in your mind.
I want to put a chain around me like an obelgrub.
Like a pig being roasted.
Yeah. That's why I do think of that.
Yeah, I would love that.
Yeah.
I'm Palestinian in my sexual fantasy.
That's how well you are. You believe in both causes.
One in reality, when we get begged.
But yeah, there is a raise your heart.
Israeli, I've been with an Israeli girl
just out of the army.
It's so hot.
Very pretty.
She's discharged.
She, no, she discharged all over.
She, I just fucking guys really worked that out on the air
Discharge your you disjazz all of we got it. Why didn't you fucking writers room?
Just shut up. You got it. You don't at least just
I am no shoes. All right. She was good. She was good
I knew what hot is really true hot shoes very hot coming out of his face. I am. No, she was all right. She was good. She was good.
I knew what hot is really,
she was hot.
She was very hot.
Big tits, like little body,
like really cute little face.
This one had a big, nice big butt,
but small titties, which I like too.
I like that too.
But yeah, but listen.
So I like the nurse,
I like the doctor,
the hospital thing too.
Yeah, but it's hard to get a girl to accept her.
Or get a commit, no, to commit, to commit.
To what?
To the role playing.
The role.
Not me, I would be acting.
Let's go.
I thought I was staying character.
Yeah, you have all the way to dinner.
Before or after, if we're a fighting couple we're fighting in public
Really fuck after yeah, oh my you gotta you gotta stick to the script mm-hmm Jesus Christ. Why are you tore?
Want to talk to me? I fuck Bonnie. She's lame. What are you doing fucking? I'm going to bed
I got a call rich you talk about me and Bonnie's sister all night and we're gonna be in zany's this weekend
Got by tickets watch us
Watch you guys, sister.
What is he gonna be carrying?
What the fuck did you say?
Probably spot, guys.
So why nobody takes you seriously.
We're not gonna, sister.
We're gonna tell our awesome jokes.
I don't know how disappointed they are.
They think they're sistering
and they're just women doing comedy.
Oh, boo.
Boo.
Sister.
Sister.
It just turns into that scene from
Breque Weaver dream.
I have to ask.
Jinks, I've never jinksed on that line.
You guys have to ask that right now.
We're discussing.
We're both discussing.
But so what, you're upset because,
or you can't find a woman who can like,
you know, I'm done dude, I'm out of the game.
I'm with my chick.
Yeah.
I'm hoping, I'm thinking that now that he's getting older
and he's kinda going on overnight trips
that we can start doing some weird shit again.
And I'm thinking now that, I really like my wife.
Like she's kept her shit together, I didn't.
I feel terrible for her.
But that's why I'm trying to get one last fucking
who-rider in for her.
Yeah. But I feel like now we one last fucking who-rider in for her. Yeah.
But I feel like now we'll start fucking around a little bit.
Well, yeah, take getter from acting classes.
Maybe like she's drowning.
She can't do it.
I have a whole bit in my eye.
Oh, yeah, I know the bit.
Yeah, I actually know your material.
She fuck, sorry, I did.
I'll listen to you, man.
I have to meditate before I go on.
I know.
I'm at a date.
I like how your meditation is just zoning me out.
I'm on a date.
Medicate.
We, yeah, she doesn't act that well.
Yeah, she's not.
But you guys could swing.
You could put up pineapple flag in front of your house
and see who shows up.
Such a fucking swinging is so fucking dumb.
Yeah.
It's such a dumb.
To me, it never works, ever.
Only with ugly people, the swinging work,
if you're hotrocious.
Okay.
When you're young and hot,
the swingers that everybody wants, it just doesn't work.
It's like when you go to a nude beach,
it's like ever the people you want to see.
Well, listen man, I don't know if it's instinctually
inside of you, there's a part where you're like, I just want to be with you and hang out and have fun.
But you keep wanting to suck my friends' decks in front of me.
I don't.
Can we have a night off?
You fucking horn.
You're all about it.
I love that.
I fucking journal.
You're all about it.
Not.
Huh?
You're cool with being not giving me.
You don't have issues with it or.
I'm not fine with it.
I just don't want to swing like I don't want to go
I don't want to fucking every you know like I get it
It's the small talk before the swing right is too much math involved
It's too much
Taking that out you know and just get straight to the everybody wears like eyes wide shut style masks
Maybe something like that. There's too much math. There's too much all right
You can do this and that you got to call me and blah blah. Maybe something like that. There's too much math. There's too much. All right, you can do this and that.
You gotta call me and it's like, fuck that.
That's just takes all the funny rules to the end.
Now, if I could go, if you two were a couple
and you wanted to watch her blow me, I'm in.
I'll fucking tap into that fucking wrestling match any day.
So you're okay with this as long as you.
As specific to your blows up from me.
You gotta blow it up. Well, because, just to be clear, just to be clear.
There should just be one rule me getting blown by someone other than my wife.
That's the only rule I'll play with. Somebody else's wife being a slap-back.
Too much math. One dick. One slut. Let's go.
Yeah, that seems like a lot of rules for me at that point.
I've had that where girls, hey, I would like to blow you,
but my guy's here, is that okay?
Yeah, as long as he doesn't fucking put his dick on my shoulder.
You've been blowing him for other guys watching.
Good fuck yeah.
I need you to take him for the polaroids.
Huh?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is before a cell phone camera.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, dude, I thought it was hot as shit.
Wow.
That swinging I think is cool, you know?
Yeah, random, random just, you know. You swinging your dick into a random sluts mouth. I get it was hot as shit. Wow. That swinging I think is cool, you know? Yeah.
Random, random just, you know.
You swinging your dick into a random sluts mouth.
I get it.
You like blowjacks.
Very long way to get to that.
Well, anything where I know that, you know, stand up.
I don't.
I get it.
I'm just like this is so complicated.
You're like, I don't want anyone to have sex like my wife to cheat, but I will.
I get a blowjob.
I think that guys, a lot of guys that want
that like swinging, it's like they don't want to
fuck their wives anymore, but they're in to see
and their wives get fucked.
Well, it's because that's what they can do outside.
They feel too guilty for cheating,
but they can watch their wives get fucked.
But I also think that and they don't want to
fuck them anymore.
They want them to have, they want them to enjoy sex, right?
But they don't want them to fall in love or have intimacy.
They just want it to be sex.
So, but they might also be returned on by their wife if they watch someone else fuck her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because someone else wants to fuck this.
Or it will tag.
Maybe she has more value than I thought.
Fucking lopsided.
I guess she's not a monster.
She can make it all with the saver life,
but then she's getting her face smashed in my head.
Yeah, you can't do the dishes,
how you get your suck his nuts off.
I like the idea of watching sex.
So, perverse.
And now have you ever watched anybody,
like from a window,
like another apartment and somebody fucking
or somebody be naked, is that thing?
Waiting my whole life, I walk around at night,
I stroll the streets, I've never seen any nudity
in any window in my life.
Nothing, nothing.
I look, I'm like, so I look, I, I, I, I, I, I,
I've had sex in cabs, I had sex on a cop car.
I have sex always with the kids.
It's like fucking green eggs and ham.
Yeah.
I have sex on a boat.
Sex on a cab is awesome.
It's awesome if the cab is in on it.
If you get the eyebrows.
Yeah, if he's good to go.
Yeah, if you see the eyebrows and you get the little,
yeah.
He's like, he's into it.
He turns the meter off and joy.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had sex in in front of someone really yeah
I think it's most I've done I've had sex in a bathroom with somebody or yourself
Yeah, I've just I've jacked off in my own bag. I fucked in the cellar bathroom downstairs. The woman's bathroom
Yeah, it was great during the show too. So nice wait, it's so small. Yeah, it was I was the show too, so nice. Wait, it's so small. Yeah, it was, I was smaller.
I was a smaller guy.
Okay, obviously in the pictures of me when I back in the day,
I was very in shape.
Oh, it was so hot too,
because girls kept coming in and they'd be like,
wait, what?
Like, because they would see four feet.
Yeah.
Are you guys doing coke in there?
Yeah, fucking in the bathroom.
Public banging, I used to love it.
Like in these little vestibules that New York has,
these little down, like the wow around the corner
has a little down, go in there and make out
and then start to fuck around, I like that stuff.
New York's a good place to have sex in public.
Yeah.
I used to go to the park.
You really can't do Washington Square Park anymoreo because you get mugged robbed or arrested
But you know what I did one night. I was real fucking scary wait
I just rich texted me saying tell him to open the door. No, that was at 913
Never mind. I'm sorry. I just had I like reread something and I panicked
Um, go on. Thanks very much. I apologize. Now everybody check their phone.
I'm embarrassed.
It's a phone check time.
Everybody.
Well, I tell you one thing.
I mean, I was actually supposed to host a 10 o'clock at the
Sam I got canceled.
Oh, wait, I'm going to the stand.
Oh, wait, is that the no.
I think I'm doing the other show.
Oh, the house shows canceled.
Yeah.
Well, they goes that topic.
What was the topic?
I'm done. Do you know that that rapper that topic. What was the topic? I'm done.
You know that that rapper that they held up at his funeral?
I think his name's Guru or Guru or Guru.
What are you talking about?
He died.
What are you talking about?
And the people had his funeral and they took his dead body and propped him up in a nightclub
and they're like party to round him.
Nobody knows what you're talking about.
I know, but doesn't that sound wild?
No.
I guess it's kind of like what awake is. I find all wakes weird.
At a nightclub though. Yeah, but you're a Jew. You guys want the body in the ground 24 hours.
That's normal. I feel like I feel like you're all the weird, weird ones which are
fucking weak in their body. Just nanor in a casket. Wearing all the jewelry that you're
gonna take off before they shut that fucking thing. I'm like, why are Nana's lips sealed shut?
Yeah, when did the Rolex go?
Why does Grandpa look like a drag queen?
Yeah.
There's a safety pin in by your ear.
I don't like, I don't like wakes, I find them.
Wakes are fucking ridiculous and they should stop them.
Close the casket.
Not even close the casket, just get it like the juice.
Get them in the ground.
Juice and mobsters are gonna get shot on the face.
Get them in the fucking ground. Go to the church, get them in the ground. Juice and mobsters are going to get shot on the face. They're the ones who are in the back. Get them in the fucking ground.
Go to the church, cemetery back to the house,
and let's say goodbye to this person
because they're over.
You don't need to.
Yeah, we don't need to sit there for four hours.
Yeah.
If you're in the family, it sucks, too,
because you have to stand and say the same thing over,
thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
I hope.
And you have to, the people make you cry
over and over, too.
Yeah. So there's always that one. I'm so sorry, then people make you cry over and over too. Yeah.
So there's always that one.
So sorry, then.
I'm going to go like, hey, man.
Or you're done crying and they're still crying and they just think you're a monster and
you're like, no, I've cried.
You know, I don't know.
People on Twitter will just tweet like awful things like like my, that's been just,
I mean, that means he like tragedies.
You know, this, this, this spectrum of Twitter where it'll just be like,
yeah, the terrible.
My son got hit by a car today and dead
and I have four types of AIDS.
Please retweet this, you know?
Yeah, and my uncle's funeral I wore a crop top.
Might take a selfie, I was like, hey, shout out.
Nice.
All right, P Uncle Bob.
But someone the other day tweeted,
my son just blew his hand off.
Uncle Bob, is that a role play?
I, I'll do that one.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Uncle Robert.
Someone, someone tweeted the other day.
And son blew his head off.
My son just blew his head off.
I'm numb.
I'm like, who describes their son
as blowing their head off?
First of all, you should never,
that shouldn't be out there.
I know.
But also for the other,
what did you say killed like, ended ended his life blow his head off?
It's like, what do you want to do, ma'am?
Your son is committed suicide.
She's like, I'm gonna tweet about it.
I'm gonna tweet about it.
I get those likes.
I'm trying to go by.
I'll be honest, I find them funny
just because they should not be on Twitter.
Like one person once I couldn't stop laughing.
They tweeted just got over cancer cancer and now I have COVID.
It was like something I was just like,
Oh, that's funny.
That's just the kick of the nuts.
That's funny.
For my son just blew his head off.
I'm numb.
Like, you're not really numb.
He's more numb than you.
I mean, yeah, it's like stupid.
That's stupid.
I don't get those, these tweets aren't happening
whether just like my husband exploded today
Childers eaten by a bear police like this you say he's in
English I have a I overemphasized teeth. It's a speech impediment and you make your fun of it as a head time
It's fucking terrible get it together. We'll back the class
It's a hate crime hate it's no Manhattan. I do that for every Manhattan.
Yeah.
I think I have a list.
You have a list.
I'm overcorrect by overly pronouncing.
We're going to have to put subtitles on the show.
You would loss.
It's like Jewish loony tips in there.
I listen.
We got a Kara Fehan and Bonnie McFarlane doing a show in Chicago this weekend at Zaini's.
And then you're doing what's the other place called?
The Vixen on Saturday.
Zaini's on Friday, the Vixen on Saturday.
You got to go see them because they're fucking hilarious.
And Ronan is taping a special here at the Comedy Cell at the VU Monday night.
Take it still available, not that many.
Let's fill it up, come down here, watch him crushU Monday night. Take it still available, not that many. Let's fill it up. Come down here,
watch him crush it Monday night. And this weekend you'll be, I'll be at Zanez in Chicago this weekend,
Rosemont Thursday and Friday and Saturday downtown Zanez. And yeah, for a link to my special,
just go to my Instagram. It's the wings of the bio. on comedy all right and end comedy check it out very funny guy both these people are very funny and
Also, we're gonna go to the comedy seller. We're gonna go what the fuck ways I go
We're gonna go to the patreon only part around 15 minutes. I have questions from all the fans
For Karen fianne
We have questions for run on I know boss went downstairs
So there's no questions for him but
We got if you have any questions for Ron on please type him in now Nicky will get them
Check it out comic Roadhouse moving in son. That's next week
Not this weekend next weekend. I will be there. Don't scroll yet April 21st
Through the 23rd and then I got that special shot.
Where's, go up a little bit please.
Can you scroll up?
Well, I, I gotta plug this show for people who live.
April 15th, I will be at,
I'll be at April 15th and 16th.
Niagara Falls, Bears Den Casino with Lewis Jay Gomez,
the rattlesnake and the the legend rich boss. And me, we will be there doing a show Friday and Saturday, one show a night.
In the Bearsden, it's going to be epic.
So come down and see the show hang out with us after maybe do a little gambling.
So that's the 15th and the 16th.
And of course, I'm shooting my special May 27th.
I mean, May 7th in St. Pete, Florida, uh, at coastal creative and the great
Louis CK is directing it.
So it's going to be awesome.
I can't wait.
Uh, I'm fucking nervous.
I'm fucked up, but I'm very excited to do it.
So if you can't come down, I'm going to be releasing those tickets this Thursday or Friday.
There'll be a pre sale for all you Patreon people, Ladybugs, we'll get the tickets first
so you can sit up front and then everybody else will be the next day after 12 o'clock.
So go to my website, robocadialive.com, go to comicwearapples.com, use code word Ladybug,
get your YKWD gear.
On the tour with Ari, I saw a lot of YKWD merch
out there. I want to thank you guys for getting it. Use code word ladybug. Like I said, 20%
off, hats, sweatshirts, shirts, everything. You get the Robert Kelly face pancake Sunday.
You're great. Not you and sister ping shirt down the bottom. So make sure you go there.
And of course, patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You love the show on YouTube?
Subscribe.
Like it.
Comment.
I want to know what you think about the,
I want to know what you guys think about the Will Smith thing.
If you guys, I want to know,
because a lot of people were surprisingly,
some not a lot, some were on Will's side secretly.
Like fuck Chris.
Oh, you just point to yourself.
Oh, my mom.
Oh, your mom.
It was, it was, it was so infuriating Oh my mom. Oh, your mom. I was it.
It was it was it's so infuriating. Some people were on Will's side. There was not a lot. Mo
most of you is on Chris's side, but some were on Will's side. We're going to talk about that in
the Patreon version only. What you can talk now. Go ahead. If you have something to say,
go ahead. Well, as you can say, obviously the people who like completely supported Will Smith
were few, but there were a lot of people, and I consider this the worst person,
that people would go,
what Will Smith did was wrong,
but it was also wrong for Chris Rock to make that joke.
Because those people are the problem,
because those people are equating jokes with violence,
and acting like it's an complicated issue when it's not.
So, and there was a lot of people who went in that direction.
But you have to look at, too too is all the people in that room
who didn't come to Chris's aid.
Yeah, it's a hit.
They went to his aid.
I know.
And then they gave him an award and then they stood up
because they, in the moment where you, like,
what should we do, everybody chose to do the wrong thing.
Not one person chose to do the right thing.
After hearing, it's ones that Will Smith obviously snapped,
but even after he snapped,
he come back on stage except an Oscar,
does not apologize to Chris Rock once.
So there's no, he's literally thanks everyone.
His wife laughed, which he saw him slap him.
Yeah, he chuckled.
He literally thanked everyone else.
He was like, I wanna apologize.
He was like, apologize to Venus and Serena.
Denzel, Denzel went at it.
He tried to defend.
He's the one who came the closest to defending Will Smith.
Yeah, but he's, there's just psychos.
He's like,
He's like,
He's like in a fucking...
I understand what he's saying.
Old Scientology rant.
Well, Denzel is not a scientist.
Will is, I get it, but he basically said,
and it's true, you know what, you can take the go,
at your moment, a lot of times,
when you have these moments of greatness,
fucking things, you can make a decision to fuck it up.
You can do something that will ruin it.
Yes.
And that's happened a lot of times in my life where you,
I'm here, it's happened, and then I fucked it up
because of my energy, my fear, my insecurity.
I've done shit to fuck shit up.
And that's what he was basically saying
is these moments.
I can empathize with Will Smith,
but what I won't tolerate is people empathize
with him before the empathize is good rock.
Absolutely.
I felt like a lot of people skipped Chris Rock and went to their empathy for Will Smith.
And they literally felt like people didn't care that he got slapped.
Like it wasn't even part of the problem.
I don't like the used potty words on the...
And it's like...
I don't like that.
Some people are like saying the race card, like like...
It's like it's all but there's no white people involved
Dude all the whole Oscars were black the whole production was black people like they gave
Behind the scenes was all run by a black crew
Like this was the first year that the Oscars were all black like they they let black people run everything
The point is sometimes it's not about race.
Will Smith is just a douchebag.
And being a douchebag transcends race.
Yeah, it was, it was fucking.
I think he's just kind of a joke.
That is so funny that he,
people would bring out this enough that he was literally just came out
with a TV show where people are teaching him how to be a stand of comic.
A joke guy.
It's so bad.
And then I assume one of them was just like
Sean Patten, just to fuck with him,
was like, oh, if you don't like a joke,
someone says you punched them.
That's what we do in standup.
That's his own act.
Everybody, isn't it weird though?
We're in the Patreon version right now.
Go to patreon.com.cest.
We're on our kill live.com.
We get questions for Karen, Fihian,
and probably some questions for Ronan. Stick around, we got questions for Karen, Fihin, and probably some questions for, uh, uh,
round on.
Stick around.
It's not over yet.
This episode of YKWD is continuing now,
exclusively on patreon.com slash a Robert Kelly.
See you there.
I want to tell you about a amazing company
that me and my wife found.
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Did you like my present?
I got you.
Yeah, I haven't used it yet.
What is it this week?
It's a traveling water pick.
Yeah.
You like it, right?
Yeah.
You haven't used it yet?
Well, no, I, because I haven't traveled really. You should use that.
He hasn't gone down on Bonnie.
You have to use a water pick,
what stuff comes out?
No, to get her wet.
Oh.
All right, listen, make sure you check out Karen Fien
and Bonnie McFarlane this weekend in Zaini's
very funny show.
Yeah.
And make sure you check out Rich Voss.
My wife hates me.
And also this week,
I'll stop looking at the camera.
I thought there was a,
I am, that's my camera.
I look at it,
it's like I can deliver this.
No, fuck me up every time.
I'm trying to do my thing and you're like,
what's over there?
What, cause the plugs used to come on
and I was gonna give some dates.
Cause I'm in Muguys this weekend.
There's your camera right there.
In Muguys this weekend, then the following weekend
with Bobby and Lewis Gomez, and then,
don't skim over that, I'm right here.
And then, well, you can use that in your...
The Bears Den, the Bears Den, at the Seneca Casino.
15th and 16th.
And then, it's gonna be the funniest show with Joe Russell.
Funny show ever, we're gonna vlog the whole thing.
It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Then I had the comedy connection in Rhode Island, Island my favorite one of my favorite club owners and
clubs that I love I love Corey yeah it's great so I got a lot of you coming up
where are you headlined in anywhere soon I'm gonna be at Roar comedy club in
Springfield Massachusetts May 13th I love that club comedy hub Houston
April 28th it's great check her out very. I want to thank all my fans who are...
Don't you do like an extra time after it?
We just did it.
I got to read the names.
Can you read the names real quick?
Yeah, you read them.
I read it and see them.
Right there.
She'll make them big for you.
Hold on, let me get my glasses.
She'll make them big for you.
All right.
While you're doing that, I'm going to read my...
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There you go, gantrlog group, very cool.
Get your will in order, you got a will? Yeah. Okay. You got a will. End away.
What does that mean? A will in a way. There's a will. There's a way.
I don't know you with that fast. I read this. Go.
Who's reading you? You. I'll read you. We would can't when he starts fumbling take over Gabby Alecia
Yes, Donald land. Yes on his feet all the time
Kyle P graves where Sarah is
What the fuck man, I'm trying to make it. That's not funny. Sorry. He died today. Oh today
Funny sorry died today. Oh today today. Oh, I didn't know she had told us a while ago. Oh, that said
I didn't know that it's just Kyle P
Uh, I didn't know that
Come down. I didn't know that that's sad. Oh
That's hard. I didn't know that today Harry rudder, which kind of sounds like Harry rudder. Yeah. James Rothman, Anders. Oh, yeah.
Don't help him.
Don't help him.
Of course, guard.
Who has two ways?
Raleo.
Raleo.
Raleo.
Raleo.
Raleo.
Richard Frank, Rob Cruz, Tyler M. R D'Amars, elevators only to heaven.
Mad, what the fuck?
That was, I say heaven, she's in heaven.
I don't get you, dude.
Oh, let's go.
Sam, was, was next.
Did you switch?
Did you read about Matt?
You just get Matt.
I didn't, Matt.
Okay, big deal.
I hear you.
Go read that one on the mat.
Oh, switch key.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, so, oh, look at that.
Propact.
Sam, you were me.
Sam, Paznik.
Yeah.
Leanne Carr.
Yeah.
Matt, McGalister. Yeah.ister, James Healy, Greg Allen.
Yeah, I feel bad for that.
I know that happened today.
Yeah, she passed today, man.
Yeah, sad.
That's sad.
I wish I, I want to find out her.
I'm sad.
And now I'm sad.
You made me feel sad.
No, you made yourself feel sad.
And I feel sad. I, you made yourself feel sad. And I feel sad.
I'm gonna go eat downstairs.
I'm gonna come with me.
Yeah.
Are you going home?
No, I'm gonna hang out.
I don't get to get out that much in the city.
All right.
This is maybe feel old.
I'm just gonna go home.
No, don't go home.
I'm going home.
We'll have dessert.
Are you going?
We'll have cupcakes.
I'm not having cupcakes.
I can't eat cupcakes. Where are you going? Why? have cupcakes. I'm not having cupcakes. I can't eat cupcakes.
Where are you going?
Why?
We know.
Put your teeth in.
You're going to hang out?
Oh, we're going home.
Oh, no, you can hang out with us.
I love that coat.
It's cool, right?
It's fucking a varsity coat and you've never played a sport.
I can play a sport.
I played soccer, softball, games.
Oh, really?
You blew the football team.
She earned it.
Oh, no, I feel horrible about.
Oh, I'm feel horrible about.
Oh, I'm gonna donate tonight.
Okay, you should.
Yeah, all right, there you go.
Oh wow.
How you donating, Bobby, you don't eat.
And you don't swallow.
We're alone.
Why, she fucking smidstats it all the time.
It's me.
It's me.
I'm a whole food.
She's so poor.
And I'm stupid. Yeah, dumb. I'm not dumb. You're dubby, he's fat. I'm a wh I'm stupid. I'm stupid.
I'm dumb.
I'm dumb.
You're dumb, he's fat.
I'm a whore.
We all make a good living yet.
I go to the family.
How much are you going to donate?
100 bucks.
That's just a tip of your finger.
You make 20,000 bucks a month. how much you don't know I'll match you
One of my donate. I'm a center family five CDs. Oh my god merch. You're sending her in marriage
What are you gonna donate Bobby? I'm gonna probably do I'll do 100
I always do a hundred he's got look. He's wearing of thousands of dollars. Yeah, they're trying to get the 10, 10,000. Yeah. Now, who, how do the stand
do this? How, how do they, maybe they know? I don't know. Two words, Paul Italian. Why did
she go to the stand? I don't know if I met her. She's in Chicago. She had to be at our big show when we did Chicago, right?
Well, I'm going to give a few hundred.
So when we did creeps, she had to be there.
She was there at a lot of them.
Yeah, she's been to a lot of your shows.
She's been to a ton of my shows.
She's been to the J.O.P. party a lot.
Well, for friends and family, I loved her.
They were in Chicago. They would buy tickets to my nabani show to show their support. to the J.O.P. party a lot. Well, for friends and family, loved her. As you come.
And they were in Chicago.
They would buy tickets to mine in Bonnie's show
to show their support.
It is sad for what?
For spirit.
And laugh with us.
Because she no longer can.
I made jokes because I don't know how to handle.
I can't be around you, too.
I don't know how to handle.
Bonnie is rubbed off too much on her. Okay, she's like it's hot
She's hanging out with Bonnie rubbing on me. What's that?
It's like it's her giggle gets you soft
Her giggle is an extra pill
No, here's the thing. I don't know how to handle stuff like that
So I try to make jokes but but deep down, I feel bad.
Like I always try to put a mask on,
and I'm sorry if I offended anybody over this,
and it's, you know what I mean?
I tried.
I didn't, I didn't cry when my mom died,
oh, like a couple of weeks ago.
What when did your mom die?
A while ago.
Four or five years ago.
Yeah, and you just let it, you just let it.
I laid a bed. Yeah, just, I try to. Yeah, and you just let it. You just let it. I laid a bet.
Yeah, I just, I try to cover with you, but it is sad.
And so our family, everybody's always saying how tough and you know, never sensitive, like
never gets to him, like always just a thick, hard shell of a man.
She looks like a pointer.
A what?
A pointer.
Like a dog when those point are great, you know with the little point so I'm great
You are great. You're Santa great. You're my favorite
You're my favorite I don't get he failed. I felt I felt I couldn't put it to get I had to call you a dog
Didn't know a dog it was said pointer like a point center
It's the wrong dog. Yeah, you met like you you met like a great too. Like an Irish point ahead of a great
yeah, she looks like a like a silky terrier. She's very lovely. Yeah, I love
Karen. Pure breath. I like her. She's funny. She's fun. Say that word
love too much. I love this. I like her a lot. I like her.
I like her a lot. You're dying.
I like her.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
I really loved everybody on their way out.
I mean, I hate her jacket sticks.
I love her jacket.
You have kidnaps like a blows.
Are you kidding me?
That's the kind of jacket you get if you were like on the wrestling team or I don't like
I don't like a fucking ZK have a reach.
Well, you go to a sock hop after this.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's go to the soda jerk first.
Would you blow a guy in a delorean?
I would.
What the fuck?
You thought my was bad?
That was a good one.
That was a fucking back to the future, though.
Very specific.
Oh, thank you.
That was a great one.
I didn't just call her, you look like a stinger.
You look like a pointer stinging bitch of a dog.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
That's a lot of, oh my God.
Did you hear that?
What do you do?
He just farted so loud.
We're gonna end the show.
I don't believe you.
I felt the current.
It was a jet stream.
I want to thank you for coming on.
It was a good hang of it.
Oh, thanks for having me, always.
I'll see you next time.
And thanks for taking over the other night for a co-s. Okay. I was on the show you rocked it. Everybody loved you
What are you talking about? I don't know. It was the most popular show this year. I don't know. I swear to God
I'm kidding. It wasn't it did very bad. I got like three thousand
We'll see you guys next week on you know what
See you guys next week on You Know What That! you