Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rich Vos, Mike Recine | Dream Watch
Episode Date: January 30, 2022This week Bobby is joined by Rich Vos and Mike Recine as we get into a dubious purchase of another person dream item, the dark corner of Mafia podcasting and working around the Mob! Learn more about y...our ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día.
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Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía.
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Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lía.
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Baby, we're startinglo sin pagar nunca. back again. Old school back in the day, we're all starting before them all. I'm P5K, I'm P5K, I'm P5K, I'm P5K. This podcast is so fun and crazy and there's no rules.
Shut up, you're ruining this.
We're the program, I'm sorry.
It's about this podcast.
This is an NPR.
That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show?
What's up everybody?
I'm the writer of this song.
Fuck me, life sucks, sometimes.
I had your money, my money, I had my money. Fuck me, life sucks, sometimes. I had you on your movie, I had you.
Welcome to YKWU.
And we're going live right now.
We're here.
And here you go.
This is what I wanted.
Believe it or not, Bob's walking on duty.
Everybody could be so free.
Smoking is dead, can't even say which.
Who could it be? I think he's the one who came up with you know what dude podcast and anyways we're back it's Tuesday we have an amazing show for you
tonight I'm very excited about this show one person I love the other person I like and let me
introduce you the person I love Micraseen is here we're supposed to have another guest yeah but
because I don't know what the fuck his problem is you You said he's eating. He's eating. Mm-hmm.
He's eating.
Yeah.
I don't understand him.
Yeah.
Anyways, I want to thank all the Patreon people
for being a part of the Patreon.
The Patreon every month gets stronger, bigger,
and I don't know what the fuck that means.
What do you think he's eating?
It's got to be hummus.
Yeah.
It's got to be some type of vegetable dish
and something mushy.
Just to get down those fake teeth.
I don't eat meat, yeah, because you can't.
Your teeth aren't real, that's why.
Anyways, you probably guessed who it is,
but it's like, come back.
He's just come back.
And you're absolutely right.
That's gonna go great today.
So I wanna thank all the Patreon. Patreon.com, Stats Robert Kelly. If you're absolutely right. That's gonna go great today. So I wanna thank all the Patreon.
Patreon.com, Sass Robert Kelly.
If you're not a member, you gotta go there,
become a member, this show, we do the extra YKWD,
you get it first, special episodes,
you get live from the shed episodes,
you get the countering Kelly on Fridays,
I got a new show coming out,
I get all kind of shit on there. For what? The price of two calm El Makiados.
Nothing.
Or maybe two, two of those egg ones. One of the egg sandwiches, the little egg things,
and a calm El Maki out. Or brevé latte and a goota bacon egg at Starbucks.
Anyways, go and make sure you're just watching it.
If you're a fucking freebie, which is cool,
I don't give a shit, just watch the show,
I love it, hit subscribe, hit the subscribe button,
hit the like, leave a comment, don't be a douche.
And they, yeah, just take your whole life, you know?
Just suck all of the three content.
I've been doing the podcast longer than anybody.
Just take, yeah.
Yeah, give to the new guy.
You are one of the original podcasts.
I am, yeah.
Yeah, thanks for bringing that up.
No, I am.
And I never stuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was too, I don't know what it was.
People complained that I had too many guys.
I just loved having fucking two, three fucking,
I had eight guys one night. Just eight having fucking two, three fucking eight. I had eight guys
one night. Yeah, yeah. Just eight comics in there. F***, trash in each other. Yeah. And it's more of,
um, I don't know, and we trashed each other. We were funny, you know, I don't want to ever. Yeah.
I still do that. I think it's fun, man. I don't know. What are you gonna do? Yeah. I've been doing
mine about five years, and I'm about to end it. And I'm excited. I'm doing a new podcast.
What's it called?
It's called The Sit Down with Mike Racine.
And it started off about the mafia.
So I had a show about the mafia.
And then,
Well, that sounds good.
Yeah, but then I got tired of doing research every week.
We did that for about two or maybe two or three years.
You get tired of,
because they're all rats.
Because they're all rats.
Yeah,
because they all have podcasts now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I couldn't compete with the guy, the murderer,
who was killing it on iTunes.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
That's funny.
They won't allow Trump on it.
I'm gonna go listen to the real, right, right.
With the cast, literally confessed to murder.
I murdered 17 people,
won't want to change so I'm in front of their child.
But I did my time.
Now, welcome to the podcast.
Make sure you subscribe, review.
My Patreon is murderaink.com slash Patreon slash murdered five,
17 people. Right. I mean, it's crazy. So Sammy, the bull has a podcast. I heard that he gets really
upset about like haters, which is very funny. Yeah, I did. If you troll, John Gotti's under boss.
If you troll Sammy, the bull's podcast, you're a troll. Like you deserve it.
You're a professional.
Trolling me, you're fat.
Oh good, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll never heard that one.
Your wife's tits are lopsided.
Okay, you're just stating obvious facts.
You don't have any?
You've erectile this function.
Yeah, your penis is small.
I know.
Your bald, you look like butter bean.
Go wow, you're a genius.
Oh, you have tits.
Yeah. I have tits. I'm saying genius. Oh, you've tits. Yeah.
All right, can you?
I'm saying.
Oh, you mean over the trial.
But if you throw John Gotti Jr. or Sammy the Bull,
we'll fucking Mafio, Marco, whatever the fuck their names are.
Dude, that's my biggest fear in comedy.
Yeah.
Like doing comedy in the New York area.
It happened to me one night and I got scared.
I don't know if they were mafia,
but I was at the stress factory,
you know, that place with the owner of that.
That's the best name for a comedy club, isn't it?
That's pretty good.
Well, when he's the owner, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When Vinnie Brand is the owner of the stress factory,
that he stresses you out from the second you book the gig.
Yeah.
To the second it's over.
I hope he does.
Even when you get your check, he makes you sit and talk to him.
Talk to him.
Yeah.
60 minutes in his office.
Yeah.
I was thinking, what do you think?
And what he does is he does that.
He pranks you.
He likes to.
He likes to prank, but he also, he does that thing where he...
It's a good Vinnie brand.
He upsells you.
You know, what?
What?
Oh, shut up.
And then he upsells, dude, you know, you're so amazing.
And he just pumps your ego and then he fucking deflates it.
Yeah, but I don't know why you didn't sell this weekend.
Oh great.
Thanks.
Anyways, I was there one night and these two dudes came in with their wives or girlfriends
or whatever and they came in right to the left of stage, came in late, and we're talking,
and I was like, shut the fuck up.
I fucked up.
But there was back in ONA days,
and a lot of ONA fans there, you could tell them,
because they're bald, and they look like they,
you know, they just came from a campfire,
AK across.
And now they're all on Reddit, right?
About AK, KKK, sorry. Well, well now they're only fans of the best
But they were fucking animals and I I remember that I was fucking with telling Sky to shut the fuck up
He was like you shut the fuck and he was he was from Staten Island
Yeah, and he was he there was a
Between I fucked I've dealt with guys before from stage. This guy had, he knew something I didn't.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
That was the vibe he was throwing my way.
But they were, they want to believe in.
That's good.
But I've still been scared that one day
I was gonna get a tap on the shoulder.
Hey, remember me?
Funk.
He's in the back of my head at an acting.
He had a wire.
Trying to get broccoli from my son
and I just fall next to him.
And I just slowly fade away
and see, mad at dad.
Yeah, you know.
What do you think's the worst way to go
if you get a mafia hit?
I think the Piano Wires got to be really bad.
Well, no, the Piano Wires, I feel like you have a shot
to get out of it.
If you get your hand under there and it cuts your hand,
you know, and you could maybe the Piano piano wire, if you can get something in there,
because I mean, he grabs you,
all you have to do is get your arm up,
there's some type of way.
Oh, there he is.
Why, how are you late?
How was your old?
I know, but how are you late?
That's such an old guy thing,
to be, he's somewhere early, but still be late.
I don't understand that, that's an old guy. Like,
you got into a, you got some type of food in a conversation you didn't want to let go of.
Then what, why are you late? I'm out of breath. I'm out of breath too. It's not your lung thing.
I was in a hospital in the morning from that operation. Oh yeah, yeah.
Because I was talking to what's the name I haven't seen.
Please don't die.
Oh no.
I don't want to have to fucking do a benefit for you.
I don't want, I don't want the rich boss benefit.
I don't want to have to show up at the stress factory.
That's not full.
Oh, you are an old, old man.
And you'll rich boss benefit
Yeah, Bobby
Vinnie Brand had lied to himself. Yeah, yeah
White my wife works the Patrice benefit every year what do you mean she works it she like she was okay
Yes, so
What did what does she do she's I guess she does
Mean joke and if you said it about my wife,
I'd wanna hit you with strangle you with piano wire.
Yeah, that's okay.
What does she do?
No, I guess she does the door or whatever.
She does, like, yeah.
That's nice, and she helps out with that.
Yeah.
And she's a comedian.
No.
What does she do?
She's a speech therapist.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
She worked at my wife.
Whose wife is a comedian?
Oh, yours. Oh. Oh. sorry. Yeah. She worked at my wife. Whose wife is a comedian? Oh, yours.
Dude, we're talking about first of all. What? What are you missing diamonds on your ring? No,
fucking white. Yeah, right on the edge day. Right there. The other side. Oh, no, what happened? Oh,
no, no, no, you're not. Okay. You'll retrace your steps and what? I know.
Pips. That's what you are. You're a pip.
Why are you?
Why? What happened?
What happened?
I feel horrible.
See you upset.
What just happened?
I think he's so much like watch.
He wants.
Oh, okay.
I got it.
What?
How you doing, Rich?
Pretty good.
Where he go?
He didn't go downstairs.
He's really committing to this right now.
I don't want you in my life.
I want to leave.
I want you to believe. I'm just going to go. I'm serious, listen to me. What?
We were having a good episode before.
I want you to leave me forever.
I want you to go, dude.
I want you to stay out of my life.
We have a great friendship.
It's no longer.
I hate you with every fight.
Everything I've ever thought about you,
behind your back is right.
Listen, you're a shit person.
You're a shit human being.
You're the worst human being.
You're garbage.
You know the show, are you garbage?
It's founded on everything that Vos is garbage
You're the worst
Shittiest friend you I don't like I'm serious doing it so they're like you think I'm kidding you
You I'm quitting you know those things that we go to I'm quitting though
Quitting hey on the show. They're like does your hoodie match your boots
They're like does your hoodie match your boots? buddy
is
what?
what?
what?
you're strong
Mike, I'm so serious
I'm not sure what's wrong though
I hate rich boss
he is the shittiest
you're not
you're not
you're not everything that everybody's ever said about you
is true
oh I feel bad you You're a bad fucking eye.
I can't believe you.
One time is, let me see it.
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
What do you think I'm gonna do?
Fucking, listen, when I got it, you're an asshole.
Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.
But did he buy a watch that you want?
This watch, first of all, I got this before. I didn't have it. He's an asshole. Listen, let's say something. He buy watch that you watch
First of all, I got this before he's an asshole. He did not he knew nothing about this watch
You're lying
Relax, you knew nothing about this watch. He knew nothing about any of it. I told him this is my dream watch
Listen to me. Look at me. I need you to stay with me because I wanna stab him.
I wanna smash that bottle and stab him
and then take the watch.
And you're on the run.
I was mesmerized by the watch.
Fuck you Racine.
I told him, the Skydweller Blue,
Blue Skydweller, shut you,
Blue Skydweller. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
It's all, to tell you the truth,
I'm not a big fan of this watch, I can barely see it.
Well, I gotta put my glasses on.
I like my other one better, but when I got it,
I called, because I was getting my wife out.
I called his guy, we talked to his guy,
and I said, if you get one, please get, call me. you know, if he gets it, I'll tell him to call.
And he goes, maybe I'll get, and this snake in the grass,
this fucking piece of shit, this garbage,
and I hooked him up with my guy.
No, I never, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I didn't go to your guy, I hooked you up with my guy.
You talked with my guy and you called the street.
No, I hooked you up.
This fucking, this rock fuck.
Only where I can describe him, this is cock fuck.
Oh God, I hate you.
I'm not even wasting swears.
I'm not even gonna waste good.
You think you did it to fuck with you a little bit?
He did it, this is what he is.
This is why he's garbage.
He's like garbage.
He won't let me talk.
Because you're fucking bad.
I know. My dream watch, me talk because you're fucking bad. I know.
My dream watch, I literally wanted this watch for years.
Two like two.
No.
Four.
No, you just, no.
You're a fettin' crazy person.
I'm coming, I'm only took me two months to get. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What the fuck? So wait. Can I tell you something?
I feel bad now.
Because I wasn't going to wear it.
Yeah. But it looks so good on you.
It does look really good on you.
Uh, yeah.
What did that cost?
15,000. Really?
Oh.
Hey, fucking, you got it for what it costs?
Yeah. You're a shit person. Can I tell you to story?
Can I tell you to score?
Listen, that's a lot of money. No, it's worth 35. Okay. I'm
Nebie. Oh
Can I explain what happened?
Do you want me explain? Can I try it on? Oh no. Can I explain what happened?
Can I do whatever you want? Because it's the last time we're talking.
It's can do whatever.
Oh, listen, I called my jeweler.
I said, I want to get my wife a Rolex for Christmas.
And I got down her.
I talked to her as jeweler, by the way.
I talked to her.
I talked to her as jeweler.
And I told them, hey dude, if you ever get this,
please let me know.
In front of him.
In front of him, telling him,
you guys put the jewelry store together.
He was, no, on the phone.
He said, I wanna get this one, and the bill of the lot,
and he was like, okay, I said, I want this.
If you get this, Skydweller, blue guy, Skydweller.
If you could get it, I would really appreciate it.
Just give me a call.
And what happened, the guy called him, and he had,
not what, I called him, I got him fucking,
and he fucking took it.
No, no, no, no, fucking took it, he thought it, could've called me, it said, buddy called me. I got him fucking any fucking took it. No, no, no, fucking took it,
he thought it could have called me and said, buddy.
Yeah.
I know you really want this.
It's here.
You can buy it.
If you don't want it, if you can't get it,
I'm gonna get it, but I'll get it.
I mean, let me explain.
You can't just get.
Yeah, explain.
They had a conversation at the jeweler,
whether they were gonna soldier me or not.
They had to decide who you calling call my wife to tell her our
Friendships over know it isn't and you're present you ain't getting it
I'm sorry
Don
Yeah, don't you're on my podcast right now
Okay, hi max. How are you don't take me off speaker
Don you know you know rich boss right?
Yes, I know rich Rich Voss, right?
Yes, I know Rich.
Okay, I'm, I don't want his name mentioned
in the house.
Okay.
I don't want him, like, if it don't say,
like even if we meet somebody named Rich,
like I know your brother's Richard,
I want to call him something else.
Ricky, yeah, anything else.
Rich went and knows the watch I wanted.
You know the watch I want, right?
The skydwell of the blue, right?
The one I want.
The one I mean, desiring.
And he knows I wanted.
I told them all about it.
I told them everything.
It's the most complex role, X-EVER.
It's the hardest one to get.
And I talked to his jeweler.
I talked, and if you ever get one, please,
I'd like to get it.
He bought it behind my back.
I got it behind your back.
He bought it and he came in tonight
and he took his jacket off and just put his arm on the table
and didn't say anything.
Just to stick it in my face.
He got to watch, so our friendship's over.
I'm going to get over it.
Okay.
Okay.
You got it?
So his present, his present on the table,
I left it at the house back. So then
throw it out
I'm not kidding garbage. I want you to take it throw it in the garbage. Okay?
Tonight. Okay. Thank you. I love you. I love you. Okay. I love you Max. Bye.
Here's can I can I talk explain this sure first of all
When he when I got it. Yeah, it was a week before Christmas you weren't a Rubin
I don't want to tell you in your vacation. I didn't want to tell you that how about telling me Bobby
They have you watch a first of all. I'm gonna buy you right now. Oh, did you all have all this money? Did you really wear a headliner?
We don't I I put a new car last week.
This guy, I mean, the whole will only be filled.
I hope your new house burns now.
My face is my face.
And the only thing that's left is I hope to rent it.
And the only thing that's left is that watch.
And that's all you have to look at.
Your family's gone.
Everything's gone. All of it's gone. Your new car burns. Everything's gone. And all you got is that watch and that's all you have to look at your family's gone. Everything's gone.
All of it's gone. Your new car burns. Everything's gone. And all you got is that watch. Is
the only thing that survives and that's all you got left.
It's just so walk. So what?
It's a mix of five. For five. I did.
I did. Fifteen eight.
Well, if I sold it to I sold you for fifteen. I wouldn't make profit on you. I want I'll
buy it. I'll buy it for 15, eight.
15, eight. Oh, that's with the tax probably.
You're spilling stuff.
Yeah, I'm spilling my blood.
What's wrong with you?
You didn't want the watch until you...
Oh, no, I mean, I like it.
He didn't even understand the watch.
Yeah, he didn't even know about it.
And I'll tell you who did this before.
I can't you help me set it?
No. I won't help you in the program
If you call me and go do I'm gonna drink I I'll go you should I will fucking send uber booze to your hotel room
When I was shit club you're working
I'm gonna send I'm gonna send hookers to your shows so you cheat and lose body when I'm when
I'm gonna send hookers to your shows so you cheat and lose body when I'm when
I can't believe you did it. You know the work put your arm down before I lock it off
Mike here's a story this is the only story you need to know I told him I've been wanting this skydweller I've been wanting this guy
Not true he kept going what is it how it work? What is and I kept telling him?
Sound just like that
With the guy it didn't hook me up with shit Wall Street. Yeah, the other jeweler listen dude
He fucking I told him I this is the one and that talk to his guy and when the watch came in
He wasn't gonna sell to you
I would have no you wouldn't know I listen to me so you and you could have sold you could have said dude
I got your watch and I will fuck what is that?
I'm gonna be stolen to get the box. Yeah, you get everything when it papers everything
What yeah, of course it's a real watch, but here's what I'm trying to say no, please tell me it's fake
I'll show you to me. It's fake, I will fucking be your friend again.
It's fake.
Is it?
No.
No.
No.
I'm throwing your present out.
And it was a good one.
No, listen, I don't throw my present out.
I'm tossing it in the garbage.
No, I'm gonna give you a present.
I'm gonna give you his present.
Thanks.
I'm gonna send it to you.
Send me your address.
I'll text you.
You know what, fuck that.
I'm gonna come take you to lunch.
I'll give it to you. We'll lunch and I'll gonna come take you to lunch. I'll give it to you
We'll lunch and I'll give it to you. Okay. I hate him. I want to say to you
I hate him. Yeah, so much. Yeah. Yeah. What a garbage. I bought Bonnie a watch too. I roll it good
You can't get Rolexes anywhere and when I got there
I just he goes I got your wife's watch I went down there and he goes, I also have this
and we discussed it and we'll sell it to you.
They would, they would, listen to me.
You could have sold it to me.
You could have called me and said, buddy.
You're a dream.
You're a dream.
I think this is my dreams to have a tiny house.
I'm not asking to have your house.
You can have my house.
I'll give it to you.
We'll trade.
You can have my house.
For a lot.
You'll never come to my house.
I'll never ever ever ever ever.
I thought you would be happy for me.
I am not happy for you.
I hope you fail at everything.
I already have.
No, like I'm talking everything else.
I can't be fail.
You can't be.
You'll license when you have to renew it.
I hope you fail everything.
I hope you fail at all.
I hope you fill your next heart attack test.
I hope you, your next EKG failure.
I hope whatever test they do for cancer,
it comes back.
Yeah, good.
I hope that is something.
I hope that, I hope that cough means something more
than just a cough.
I hope you die and that you have fucking funeral after I speak and I lie about what a good person you were
Bonnie goes he wanted you to have I don't you know that you don't think you're getting a little worked up over a piece of jewelry
Yeah, Mike. Can I say something to you? Yeah? Yeah
It's not jewelry Mike. It's the fact that it only took me
It's not jewelry, Mike. It's a fact that it only took me too much.
But I felt for years, I've been trying to get this watch.
Four years, I've mission him out.
I've been trying to get this watch for four years.
Now Patrice, I got my watch, my brightening Super Avenger,
White Dial, and Patrice went out and bought the same watch.
And when I came in, he said, Bobby's got my watch.
And everybody at the table was like,
why did you buy his watch?
I was like, I didn't.
This is my, I've had it for two years.
This piece of shit, we're not bought my watch.
He did it.
I did that.
Well, you did it.
I did it.
This is just an Apple watch.
Okay.
But he has a nice roll.
Like it's not, I mean, I have two of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
I mean, my GMT, which I love,
I hope everything burns to the ground.
And you find out that you have our sick.
You find out that it's a sickness,
they don't know what it is.
But they weren't gonna sell the watch to Bobby.
They weren't gonna sell it to you.
But because I'm first touch,
they wouldn't sell it to you.
I'm telling you, they had it just as a matter.
If I was at my AP, right,
which is what they call it, APs, right. If I was at my AP, right, which is what they call it,
APs, right?
If I was at my guy and they said, look,
I know your buddy wanted this watch, whatever.
If I saw the watch that I know he wanted, I'd be like, dude,
I would buy it, I'd be like, listen, bro,
I can get your watch for you right now, I'll buy it,
and I'll give it to you, just give me the money,
and I would do that, and I would never take another man's dream. I would never do it. I would never take another man's dream.
I would never do it.
I would never take another man's dream.
You got a dream hired and watches.
Then a $15,000 Rolex, it's worth 35.
What's higher than that?
A sandwich shop?
What?
What?
What?
A fucking a TikTok that does well?
What?
What a podcast that gets a lot of fucking news.
No.
I'd rather have something that I can actually give my son.
Not a fucking whist-failing network.
Whist-failing.
Let that be something.
Let that be real.
Can I try it on?
That's too tight on me.
Let me try it.
No. Let me try it.
No, let me just see.
I would never ever in a million years
fuck with a $35,000 watch idiot.
Show him, too.
I've never touched something that.
I hope you fucking smash it out of it.
And you just don't know what you want.
Nobody's got a fucking...
Let him see.
Okay, it's nice.
It's nice and heavy.
It's really nice.
That put it on my wrist.
Don't it's too tight.
I get it's tight.
It's even tight on me.
Look at boss's wrist.
They're pretty.
I had a couple of rich.
I'm on my podcast right now.
Uh, you're on the podcast.
I'm, I'm rich boss.
You know rich, right?
I said, I'm so, would know rich, right? Of course. I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich.
I'm rich. I'm rich. I'm rich. I'm rich. I'm rich. I'm rich. Scott Wally right and you know what fucking Voscott behind my back
You know what he got?
He got my fucking watch Richard
He did that in spite of spite of course he did because you know that he knew that that was my dream watch and he got it He's got it right here. I want to throw it
I want to throw it
When did he take his rings off to give somebody a hand job to get that watch?
Who is who?
It's just because it's rich.
Rich who?
Down and so on.
Watch as a Switzerland.
Don't want to I hook you up with?
Yeah, apparently.
Oh, did you hook me up with that?
Oh, really?
Is that the guy that he's the fan that I gave you his number?
I hooked you up with him.
You didn't hook me up with him.
I hooked you.
You asked him.
Ask him a food. Did he hook you up? Did he hook you up? Me up with him. I asked him. Ask him. Did he hook you up?
Did he hook you up me up with you or did we just meet? So tell the truth. I'm running into him.
I started a liquor store on on Spring Street. What? And that's when I kind of kind of gave my
card. I was like, Oh, hey, that's what I actually said. I noticed you're washed more than your
comedy when you're on stage. Yeah. And that's great. And that's why I gave him a card.
Yeah, and then I gave it to him.
It's gonna give me a call.
He said he'd email once or twice, but...
He's well, this cock sucked, or a cock?
Voss's comedy.
Yeah, yeah, it's not, he's funny.
But I agree with you though.
He sticks.
Um, yeah, I'm holding it in my hand right now,
and I'm fucking sick to my stomach.
But, so he's a piece of shit.
You don't buy somebody else's dream watch, right?
Yeah, of course he knew you were there when we talked he knew I was he wasn't like that's like not good, right?
He wasn't there. I don't know
I
Okay, thank you. Thank you very much. First of all, let me speak to you. Put them over here.
Put this fucking fly by Nate Jouler.
Show the phone.
He's not a fly by, this is my fucking friend.
Have you bought anything from him?
Yeah, of course I did.
I bought a blue dial, date just, a fluted bezel.
Is that true?
You got a new Belie bracelet.
Okay.
Okay, so listen, what's his name, Rich?
I met him and I hooked you up with him.
Yes.
I called my jeweler a couple of months ago.
I go if you get to Skye Jordan, let me know.
So anyhow, before Christmas, listen, I try to get my wife or Rolex everywhere was sold
out, everywhere.
So I call my guy, go if you get, you know, the ladies watch, it was like six grand.
I forget what it did.
Whatever.
It's a regular Rolex.
I go, give me a call.
And so he call me, he goes, oh, I got, I got your watch.
He was only getting three watches.
He goes, I got your wife's watch and I got down there.
And behind his back, he pulls out, he goes, I also got you this.
And now wait a second, so he said, we discussed him and the owner, discussed whether they
would sell it to me or not,
because they probably have a list aligned down the block. So I bought it, right? Because I'm not a dummy,
and I didn't buy it going, oh, you know, I just bought it because I know it. I mean, is anybody else
as bored as I am with this? I mean, this is what the fuck am I, Bonnie? Are we on your podcast?
I can't do it.
I know.
I mean, if you're offered a piece, I'd be something like that.
He should have, yeah, but he should have,
I can't, I can't.
He should have got it for me.
He should have said, Bob, do you want it?
Because I'll get it.
They would have did jewelry store.
No, not to them dumb, dumb.
Call me, you buy it and then give me dibs on it.
You know, anyways, Rich, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Thanks. Thanks for
Picking up the phone and uh, hey, if you get another GMT give me a call. Yeah, let me I want it. I'll buy it. I want to buy it
I'll push your office off my list. Yeah, I'll talk to you later. Bye
I won't lock
I hope it I hope it falls off. I hope you get mugged tonight. Oh, how great would that be?
It's funny. He's walking away and just four guys.
Four homeless people with fucking hepatitis
and with a needle hanging out there.
See? He even said, how could I not buy it?
Shut up.
I'm really happy for you. Good for you.
Are you mad at me if you're mad at me?
I'm not mad at you.
You are.
I swear to God.
I called people in the program
and I don't want to talk about it anymore,
but I'm not mad.
It'd be funny if a homeless person would give me the ring and he boss says no and they bite his finger off. Oh. Yeah, but that was the day they bite all the programming. I don't want to talk about it anymore, but I'm not mad. And it's funny if a homeless person would give me the ring
and the boss says no and they bite his finger off.
Oh, yeah, but that was the day they bite all the balls.
I said, I said I call somebody.
The minute they bite all his fingers off,
they take his ring and that watch his slither's off his wrist
and it smashes on the ground.
Yeah.
I even called and I said, what do I do?
And I wouldn't wear it.
But who?
A lady collecting candy.
No, I called a friend of mine that has the same disease as me.
And I said, listen, I got a watch that I had to get.
The fact that he knew, he didn't say anything.
Well, I know you like, he knows what he did.
Why didn't do anything?
I just, what I didn't do.
What I didn't do, I didn't do.
Well, I'm not a dummy.
The first thing you did was,
because I told them he had no idea about this.
Yeah.
I mean, I want to be honest.
I learned, listen.
You had no idea about tiny houses until you learned.
I want to tell him this is why, this is why Vos is.
Bobby have a tiny house.
Yeah, and I used to tell him for years
how bad I wanted an RV or a little mobile home
or a small, and he went out
of what a tiny house but I didn't go hey that's my dream yeah okay I was he
fulfilled he fulfilled another dream of his yeah you know he told me about to
watch and I looked at it go that's a nice watch that's not this not true I'm gonna
tell you why he's a piece of shit I just a lot of reasons no which is why he had no
idea about this watch well you, you got to learn.
Let me, can I say it without you chiming in every five seconds?
Okay, you got to learn.
But now he does know about it.
He knew it on his wrist every now and then.
But he knew nothing about this watch.
He liked the GMTs and stuff like that, right?
The yacht master I like.
He liked the yacht master,
but he had no idea about this watch.
This watch, the reason why this watch is so valuable and so desirable,
first of all has the blue dial.
But it's $15,000, $15,8 for the D-
$15,8 for the D- I don't know my idea about this watch. This watch, the reason why this watch is so valuable, and so desirable, first of all has the blue dial,
but it's $15,000, $15,000, $8,000 for the watch.
With taxes, it's like, it's over that.
But anyways, people don't know this.
Rolex, they are a nonprofit organization.
That's not true.
That's true.
It's absolutely true. I don't think that's true. That's true. It's absolutely true.
I don't think that's true.
I, uh, go ahead.
They just make watches for the,
I'm out of the good of their heart.
No, it's not that they think.
It's a proper sharing, I think.
People, it's, it's, he's an idiot.
Please, this, he just doesn't know anything.
I know one thing, when, when to buy a watch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha see if he's fucking, if he picks it, he's never ever.
Anyways, nonprofit organization, they make their money,
but then they don't aid the rest.
They, you know, and then they always get paid in something.
Everybody gets paid, but they donate the rest,
but they don't have to make like a brightening
when they get a hit watch.
They have to make as many as the other,
so when super avenger market,
when super avenger fucking are you just just
Step on everything anybody. I'm sorry. You jump in like a parrot. Um, he's repeating what I say
I
I want to do it. No, no, no, no, throw it at my dad.
No.
Go ahead.
You're gonna love it, too.
You would have loved it.
I'm still, you're still gonna give it to me.
That's not, no, I'm gonna get to Mike.
Listen.
Listen to this, you're getting it.
But the thing is, these watch, I can't tell you now.
These watches, because,
but it's a rich, boss style present.
But you can't, yeah, you might not like it.
Yeah, it's a rich boss style present, but you can't. Yeah, you might not like it.
It's a splash guard.
You can't.
It's the reason why Rolex is so like that watch,
he had no idea about that watch.
I said, he goes, I want the yacht master.
And I was like, I really, we were talking about like our dream
Rolexes that we want to get. And I said, I want the skydweller.
And I said, it's the most, I schooled them on the whole thing.
Why it was I wanted it.
And you know, it's worth double the price.
Want you to double, right?
And it's hard.
You think your listeners care about this because I feel like they're all poor.
Don't feel like it.
I don't know if they, they can. I don't know. I don't think they care about that. I think they care about what a principal. What a piece of shit.
What a piece of shit Voss is.
Voss is, it doesn't matter what it is.
It's the fact that I told him what it was.
He had no idea.
And he saw a way, just his little way.
Little Voss, I can make money.
No, I'm not sure.
I can double my money.
I can, I found, I wouldn't even have known, I'm not so nice double my money. Oh, I can I found I wouldn't even know about this watch and less and Bobby
But I can I want to call them tomorrow. I bet they were like do your friend want this and he
Don't even I bought so much different. They don't want this. Yeah, it's probably right. You can wipe your wipe your shirt
You white your fucking soul.
You're soul is going to fucking hell.
You feel horrible, I wasn't gonna wear it tonight.
Why do you not get mugged in New York?
Cops died this weekend.
You're wearing fucking 72 dollars worth of jewelry.
72 dollars.
I'm not sure.
And a fucking, I'm gonna actually. I want us to take a shoe. Dude, I'm gonna actually I want us take a shoes dude as well
I'm gonna walk you back to the car and as we're walking he's got a
I mean like you got $35,000 Rolex and then be something rich
Park rich boss was killed for his sneakers tonight
Rich boss dude I thought who what did somebody have a baby
Yeah, we got sneakers for little junior. Oh, I get it. I have a small feet
But I'm wearing tims tonight
Who's Tim?
Tim's Timberland. Oh, yeah
Listen I
Know you don't you I feel I do feel how I go I can I did that
Dane did the same thing Dane still went and bought my watch
Where did he buy them with the taste? He bought the brightling, same watch, gave me shit about the watch.
Everybody gave me, but then they went and bought it.
And then I can't wear brightling,
they're too big for me.
I have a little hand, you know,
a little, that watch is too big for your wrist.
No, yeah it is.
No, the same size is my GMT.
No, it's too big for you.
Do you still have your GMT?
Yeah.
Where are you getting money?
Oh, what? Because I buy Alexis?
No, because you sell 10 tickets a weekend.
I know.
I can't.
Okay, and that's bonus.
You would have.
I had bonus.
Bonnie giving you an allowance?
Go buy a Rolex.
Stop talking to me.
I'm what I want to.
Oh my God.
Where, from what?
Is your money, is your money like Leno's gig money?
That's my you just all a Bonnie's money space the bills your money. I pay to bills. I pay every dude
No, you don't listen to me. Listen, I do every weekend. No, there's only four people. It's not good second child
It was horrible 20 this week. Oh, I was okay. Let's move on. I apologize.
For what?
Not to you, to them.
For what?
And you near me.
There's no reason.
God, do you get, I didn't get my son exchange yet.
Can you deal with him?
I mean, he's the worst.
What do you mean?
I have a friend like him.
Yeah. Right. Would you do that to me?
Mike, if we were like closer. I don't have $15,000.
I know, but I know.
Let's look at that.
But if it was like, if you did,
a sandwich or something or like that.
If you did, yeah, say, you know, like the fucking gumbah,
whatever the sandwich is at, durosis place,
the godfather.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is it called?
I don't know, whatever.
And that was my favorite. And you could have, and I was like, dude, I gotta, they don't have the sandwich anymore. Would, yeah, yeah. What is it called? I don't know, whatever. And that was my favorite.
And I was like, dude, I don't have the sandwich anymore.
Would you buy it for me?
Or would you get it for yourself?
Oh, I was thinking of selling it to you, but I didn't want the juler to find out.
They won't.
Yeah, they always do when you insure it and do whatever.
Yeah, they track these things.
I was going to, yes, I asked Bonnie, I got to give this to Bobby, and then I go to the juler
will find out.
And they won't ever do anything.
I don't wanna ever talk about it again.
Oh, let's, let's, I just, I don't wanna,
let's wanna look at you on Zoom meetings.
And when you're talking, I just wanna,
when you, when you see me like this,
I just know I'm looking into your fucking soul.
Open both eyes.
I just call me, you be racist to me now. into your fucking soul. Open both eyes. He's calling me.
Are you being racist to me now?
Oh, you had one I have dead.
It's half dead, cause I fucking have dead.
You guys probably have too much money though.
I don't have too much money.
No.
No, I don't fucking too much money.
He's got too much money.
He's got a fucking, his, my, what do my wife do?
Make fucking, my wife doesn't,
cause wife's got fucking nine million fucking projects.
I'm my wife, she's got nine million projects,
writing, directing, selling.
He's on the road selling CDs.
Yeah, that's how I bought my wife's time in ring.
I know, he's still selling,
people are buying his CDs as like a,
as like a,
it's a joke.
Well, it's not a joke,
it's something they hang on the wall.
You can't use it, nobody has a CD player.
Yeah, I do, am I new car?
You know what I'm saying?
It came with a CD player.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's like 2020, 22 less.
They people still have like those portfolios of CDs
and they're flipping through a fun home.
Bob Kelly, Jim Norton, oh no let's get this one right reach
forces number five beep I got I got I'm making my seventh CD now
seven oh god well what I listen out I'm gassy why am I friends with you you're
gassy because the devil's inside your're stumping them and you're so.
No, yeah, bad things are gonna come to you.
I just made it happen.
Oh good, it just bounced off of me and it hit him.
That thing's already happened to him.
He's wearing Bill Bixby's outfit.
What are you, Dress, are you a substitute teacher?
Fuck the fuck.
Kids, calm down kids we were talking about it before
Before wife told me to wear the shirt
No, she's no no pod kid. No, no, no, I'm just saying before I was like
Foss me in front of my shirt you stupid bitch. I knew that was a bad idea
Fucking it is
Thank God he's not gonna give us homework.
He doesn't think of vigilante either in Queens.
It's a driver's head teacher.
Someone throws a knife out of me catches it.
Throws it in the table.
I know.
No, falling down.
Well, you had a pot,
we were talking about his podcast
before you came up and ruined our friendship
No, it's podcast. He was talking about it. You did a podcast on the mob. Mm-hmm. What was it called again? It's called it's called the sit down with Mike Racine. What are you doing right now? My wife sent me a video
Holo's another shirt
You should have what's the video?
I don't know you're gonna play it. No, yeah, tells what it is. How you doing? That'd be funny.
It's probably the baby.
How do you not have a phone cover?
It's, I got what size is that?
It's the iPhone 8.
That's why I got a good cover for you.
I had an 8, I'll give it to you.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not a nice person.
No, big boy, you give me a phone.
He's giving you an old phone cover.
He's brand new, basically.
Give me your dress, I'll give it to you tomorrow. Okay, you have an 8, that's an 8. Yeah, it's brand new basically. Give me your drug on the other side.
Basically.
Okay.
You have an eight, that's your eight?
Yeah, it's an eight.
Yeah, I'll get one.
Can you not sidetrack my podcast with your boring dribble?
I do.
God rewarded you with that watch.
What's that?
Because you're such a great guy.
You don't think I'm gonna be a phone.
If you don't think as we're going back to your car,
I'm screaming at the top of all you
of a $35,000 watch on your wrist.
You're crazy.
What's that for?
What's that for you hair?
What's that for you hair?
What's that for you hair?
But you were talking about your podcast,
but you, I don't understand it.
Why, did it die, you quitting it now?
Yeah, I think you've quit it already.
Why?
Because you're doing mom stuff and you got threatened?
No, but I just like, I just got tired of doing it.
How long were you doing it for?
Why did you decide that you're that, I think?
In the mall?
No, just because I felt like I needed some kind of hook
for the show, you know, because if somebody says how I have a podcast
It's about it's me
Compare fucking yeah stuff to stuff. Yeah, did you would you do this with that? Yeah, yeah Cheetos or fucking, you know cheese puffs
Yeah, do you have any mob a guest that you interviewed? No, I mean mob mob next mobsters. No
I just tell you, interviewed? I mean, mob.
No.
It's mobsters?
No.
Oh, okay.
So, you just...
You don't have any mobsters on it?
No.
I've just read a podcast on the mob.
Yeah, I'm sure.
From what town, somebody?
Huh?
What town?
Just all of it.
No, where were you?
Based out of Brooklyn.
In Brooklyn.
You mean, where the mob?
I mean, you're in New York and you didn't have any mob.
I guess I didn't.
And it's like, it's hard to get these people, I think. How is it? No, you're in New York and you didn't have any mobbing. I guess I didn't try very hard, but then it's like,
it's hard to get these people, I think.
How was it?
No, you just reach out.
Dude, the mob, all the mob guys have their own show.
No, I know, but I did Bo Diel's podcast,
and I was like, this will be fun.
Who's that?
I don't know the guy that was in Goodfellas,
that he plays the cop in Goodfellas
at a rest, Henry Hillies he's like a famous cop.
Isn't a lot of Scorsese movies.
Can we bring him up?
So I did his podcast and I was like, oh, this will be fun, but it was like kind of a rough interview.
Why was it rough?
It's a rough interview.
I don't know, it just wasn't like, we didn't really chill, I guess.
You didn't chill with a mob guy?
Yeah.
I don't know, he's a cop.
He wasn't a mob guy.
Oh, he's a cop?
Yeah, yeah.
But he knew a lot of guys in there.
Is there anybody working on the computer
that can bring this guy up?
Yeah, what's his name?
Bo-bo-deedle.
Fucking, what are you doing?
Fucking playing, I got no games.
Yeah.
I was so fucking mad at boss.
I can't even be funny right now.
So I can't, I got, anyways, I'm praying to God right now.
I have power.
That's him? Yeah. He's been in a bunch of Scorsese movies. We got it. Anyways, I'm praying to God right now. I have power. That's him.
Yeah.
He's been in a bunch of Scorsese movies.
What are you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is he Italian?
Um, was he black?
I don't know.
He's a praise guy.
He looks black.
He's black.
Bo Bo.
He might be one of those guys like, uh, like, bread urns.
Maybe he's a tell.
What?
He gets laid a lot.
Yeah.
Um, I don't even remember him in good fellows. He he's a tell. What? He gets delayed a lot. Yeah. I don't even remember
him in good fellows. He must be a. He's the guy that arrests Henry Hill at the end of
the movie. He puts the gun to his head when he's in the car. And he says, don't, don't
move. I'll blow your brains. And Henry Hill says for a second, I thought I was dead. But
then I knew that guy was a cop because they were too loud. So you love the mob. Yeah, I guess.
I mean, it's interesting.
But then after doing the podcast for like three or four years,
I was like, there's not,
I don't really have much else to talk about.
And then the episodes are going YouTube
and then people would like find the episodes on YouTube
and be like, this is disrespectful to these, you know.
Oh, I'd be scared.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just,
especially you didn't trash them, do you?
I didn't trash them,
but they were like, I came here to learn about the mafia and you guys are just cracking jokes
You and you you and you yeah, it's two different worlds. Yeah, yeah, I had I had I had
And then the wife of a guy of a mob sir commented on a video and she said hi
This is so and so can you can you get in touch with me and you did I said you can email the show and she never emailed
Why did she want you to get do you know why I don't know? Why wouldn't you follow that?
Why wouldn't that why would I yeah? Why wouldn't you just call that and see what she said?
I said you can email the show and then she never she never did what responded to the comment
I said you can email us at this okay, she never reached out. Well, you said what you're not. Can you say where you call me? She said, can you get in touch with who was it?
You know, can you say what was? Yeah. Do you know Michael Francie's? Yeah. Yeah.
Who's that? His wife. Who's Michael Francie? She said, this is Denise Francie's.
Can you, can you, you'll know when, when Nikki brings him up? He has, he has,
he's on everything. He's on everything. Oh, he's not every, we just got to
fight with Sam of the Bull. With Sam of the Bull. Yeah. He, him and Sam of the Bull
just got to go to a big fight.
Yeah, this guy.
Wait, he's in every life.
His father, yeah, explain to what he was.
They were in the Colombo.
His father was like a high up in the Colombo family
and he had this like gas tax.
He was like a bright guy,
but he had this gas tax or something.
Yeah, that he figured out.
Oh, wait, is this guy really in the mob or he was on, he was on, he's really in the
party.
He got out.
He was really in the mob, but he got out now he's like a Christian motivation.
Yeah, he's Christian's life together, but he made a lot of money.
Oh, the gas tax.
What movie was that in?
That was in something where they were, it was in a couple documentaries where he talks
about it.
Oh, that's, I saw that.
I saw the documentary.
Yeah.
Inside the mirror.
No, the New York mob was about the five family.
Well, there was one Chicago mob, New York mob.
Yeah.
Different episodes and Nicky bring up his Wikipedia.
I think I did get out.
How did he get out of it?
Well, I think he went into witness protection.
I had one guy, I forget what was named today.
I was all over the internet.
I was watching one guy today and he was in jail for murder.
I think he did 10 years.
I think 10 years is murder.
Something like that.
Cause he's already cooperating.
Well, they didn't have a caught him red handed, blah, blah, blah.
But he, they was like, you consider yourself a rat.
And he was like, no, he goes, they ratted.
Yeah. So you rat on me. I rat on you. That's not me being a rat? And he was like, no. He goes, they ratted. Yeah.
So you rat on me.
I rat on you.
That's not me being a rat.
You're the fuck.
And he was so disgusted with the mafia
and all these people that just,
he goes, why didn't you go into witness protection?
For what?
He goes, for what?
That's like, dude.
That's just some tough shit.
Wait, wait, hey, rather than him,
that's why he wants your jail.
The mob, a lot of these guys, man, got pinched, got banned.
I mean, Giuliani, if I'm mistaken,
you probably know more about it than me.
He went after the mob, and it's almost sad
because-
It's self-hating.
But even if you like that Don Rickles movie,
what was it called, Mr., what was it called?
The documentary, Mr. what was it called? The documentary? Mr. Warmth, every comic
in there was like when the mob ran Vegas, it was awesome. Yeah. It was so cool because
they they just knew how to take care of people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They knew the bottom line.
They would make more money. Yeah. If they took care of us. And as soon as Howard Hughes and the industry took over
like the corporations, right?
Corporate America came over.
Corporate America ruins everything.
And they ruined Vegas, because they cared about,
they wanted the coffee place to make money.
They wanted the breakfast place to make.
They wanted everything to be profitable.
The mob will act, dude, as long as we're making that money
on, we're getting that skim off the gambling,
fuck it, and they used to have,
the lounges were the shit in Vegas back in the day.
The lounge, so you have the big room,
but they got rickles would play the lounge.
And Frank Sinatra would bring in everybody,
and they'd come in and they'd go on stage
in those little fucking weird lounges
at the Stardust.
And it was the place to be.
And you stay out all night and you're banging,
you're banging, you're partying, you're eating.
But they couldn't know the, it's too big.
The mob could not do Vegas now.
The mob's corporate now, the mob.
Yes, and so that was the was the I mean a lot of
Make legitimate money now. Yeah, of course to have businesses to have money with sucks
Yeah, but kind of interesting
But what interesting about John Goddie too is like he lived in a small house in Howard Beach
And he was like he wasn't really like like Paul Castellano lived in a big mansion
Yeah, and then but Goddie was just like yeah, I kind of like living here in my tiny house
and it was more about,
it wasn't really about making as much money as possible.
It was about like the lifestyle.
It was, but yeah, it was about the light, yeah.
Yeah, being the, me and the dawn.
Yeah.
And looking like a million bucks.
And being like a star.
And yeah, and coming in and they used to, you know,
for the Fourth of July and certain things,
used to give turkeys out and shit like that and that's what a friend of mine said
He was a black guy from East New York that I worked with and he said that John Gotti would come around to East New York and like hand out fireworks and stuff
Well kind of watch you got to have I don't know not not one that nice
Yeah, I mean I I like the's a, I like the mob.
I mean, I knew whatever.
I knew people in Boston that were,
that I don't know if they were in the mob,
but whatever, they were close to it.
Yeah.
The personalities are really interesting.
It's all by work that are in Boston.
I don't wanna say the name, but he was an officer.
Yeah.
Yeah, next.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you can say it.
I ain't there anymore.
Huh? I used to work the door at Caroline's. You remember Colin Kane, yeah, next. Yeah. Yeah, no, you can say it. I don't care anymore. Huh? I used to work the door at Caroline's. You remember Colin Cain. Yeah.
So he was on stage one time. And so so Mike, these Stefano was on the show as well.
Mike brought a couple of his friends. Yeah. Yeah. Mike knew real guys.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Mike, you're like, buddy, you come with me.
We'll go up to rails. We'll walk right in. I'm like, you mean the place that you can't walk right in?
He goes, no, we can. Who might you stafano the com or just Stefano? Wait,
like this to find is the fun. Christ the Stefano. Mike is the final Mike did who died?
Who died? Oh, yeah, yeah, he was he knew all the I wish it was you. That's not nice.
So what what about go ahead, tell the story?
Also, by the way, my wife said that before
Christa Stephanie went on stage
that the Patrice benefit, you were like,
Patrice, what a hate at you, by the way.
Why would you say that?
I didn't say that.
He said I said that.
Yeah.
He said I said that.
My wife said you said that.
Did I say that?
You said it.
Then I said it.
I was just told to a guy before he's going to say it.
No, I didn't say that.
Mike said I said that.
And then when he got off, I go,
not only, I didn't say it to Mike.
Mike went on and made the other guy goes,
Mike who?
The Stefano.
You mean Chris.
Chris, Chris the Stefano went on.
Are you all right?
Yeah, no, I'm not.
I feel horrible.
I'm not watching tonight.
If you're fucking, if something happens,
if you pass out, I'm taking it. Chrisus stuff and I went on. Yeah, and he goes, Varsad, Patricia,
hate me, which I did. I go, so after he was done, I walked on, I go, not only Patrice,
Sagitt, and Norm McDonald, what a hate of you. That's right. That's what I said.
I was on a show with Sagitt at Skankfest and I got off stage and then you were texting me,
so I didn't get to watch Bob Sagitt. I hosted hosted that show. Yeah, yeah, you are. Yeah. I was like, I better go help
Bobby with with Rose jokes. I'm sorry, but I'll get another chance to see Sagittal. I
fucking sat it well, that you learned a valuable. Yeah. The LA times someone called me and
goes, do you want to do an article in the LA Times about saying, oh, no, I didn't. I mean,
I knew him. I had this number. You did it?
And I said that.
But I said that, I said, listen,
I don't know him like that.
You know, so you should definitely whatever.
But I said, the person I did know
was one of the nicest guys I've ever met in the business.
You know, and I mean, just a quick sum,
you could have, you know him, you thought of him.
Yeah, I got this number on my phone.
Yeah, I knew him.
Yeah, but there's guys that were close to him that should be an article, not, you thought of him. I got his number on my phone. I knew him. Yeah, but there's guys that were close to him
that should be in the article.
Not, you know, I mean, I sat in a dressing room
for 45 minutes.
But it's good to have somebody who was on the,
a little bit on the outside because there's a lot more people
that have that relationship with them.
Yeah.
Then, you know, close.
They're like, who's rich?
Rich Voss has a shiny watch.
We should get him.
It is a pinion. They wouldn't say who's rich. Voss, that's ridiculous. There goes your
fucking iPhone cover. Holy, man, I'm glad you didn't hook up with Bob. I'll tell you
who is the nicest, sweetest guy I was, Louis Anderson. Have you ever met him? Yeah.
Nice. He called me funny. I was driving home from Laughlin Nevada at one of the saddest moments of my career. I was opening for
Bruce the little guy Bruce something Bruce fine that that was a little
Yeah, that worked with the Wayne's brothers Bruce fine this little guy. He's this big
Yeah, and he was headlining and I was middling.
And I was so sad.
The Lothlan is just so fucking sad.
And I'm driving home in the middle of the night.
I'm exhausted.
I just want to pull over and go to sleep.
And my phone rang.
And I was like, hello?
I'm like, who's this?
It's Louis.
Is this Robert? I'm like, hello. I'm like, who's this? It's Louis. Is this Robert? I'm like, yeah. He's like,
I saw a tourgasm. You're amazing. I was like, thank you, Louis. He's like, I just wanted to let
you know how wonderful you are. You're so I see bit them. Oh, I was like, thank you so much.
And he made me smile just his voice that it got me home. Oh, yeah, I
got your number. I fucked him. Nice. I went right to his house.
I said, come over now. I'll tell you to turn around. I'm in
Laughland. I'm doing the weekend. I'll tell you drive in home. I
was working in in Florida, Miami. So I'm down there. And this is when
Colin just said, Miami. No, wait, she's here. We know where we know
where Miami is.
So Colin Quinn and all these people
who tune HBO specials.
Why are you this fucking Colin Kane story?
Oh yeah, tell us to call this.
Oh, it's not.
You suck.
I didn't do it.
You did it.
I didn't do it.
You who did it?
Go back.
This is a new part of the show where you go back
and you fight out who down it.
Was it Bob and his fucking big mouth?
Or was it Voss and his dumbness
where he just keeps interrupting people
with his own thoughts?
Oh, Rolex, Molly's doing great.
Oh.
And you know, he called me.
I was crying and Louise and you're so funny.
I said thank you, that got me to the border.
Once I hit the fucking California.
All right, you got it, so you have a tendency to kill it. Don't do it. I won't let you do it. What happened to what happened to Colin?
Yeah, I was just so Mike these the final had these friends that came to the show and then they were talking a lot and then Colin Quinn asked me
No, I'm sorry Colin Kane asked me to go to different people. Yeah, yeah, very very very different
What he asked me to go over and and and kick them out and then I so I
Why could say we're talking during the show.
We were talking during the show.
And then I walked over and the guy was like a pretty big guy
in a, in a minute.
So Mike, we're about to use the guy down.
Like he's on a show?
He was on the show.
Middling or what?
You were, I was a showcase.
So like a late night showcase.
Everybody's on the show and Colin Kane is on a showcase.
So I had a lot.
He's on a showcase.
So he's just, he's on a showcase too.
Yeah.
And he's telling you me to kick.
As another comedian.
Well, I was working the door.
Okay, you were working, I guess.
Yeah.
So he's like, can you kick them out?
And then so I went over and I was like,
you guys gotta keep it down.
And the guy was like, dude, it's a comedy show, relax.
And then I walked away.
And then Colin was like, why didn't you bounce them?
Right. But you worked worked that was your job.
Yeah, because they would have killed them.
They would have probably killed me.
Did you talk to Mike about them?
No.
You never talked to Mike about his friends.
No.
Why?
Cause I didn't, I guess I was scared of the guy.
And he's like, it was tennis.
I don't know.
Did what did Colin say anything to them? No, but he was
like, why didn't you why didn't you kick them out? He wanted me to kick them out. Is that
his boy? I've never talked to him. Is that the way he talks? Yeah, kind of. He's like,
why didn't you bounce them? Because it doesn't look, it's not a good look if I tell him,
they got to go and then nobody kicks them out. So he wanted me to like, he wanted me to
kick them out. You want to, he didn't want to deal with this guy who was like clearly, yeah. Did you work at Caroline's when I dress work there?
He dressed, I did 50 shows with him.
Did you work there with him?
No.
You were there late, yeah.
Yeah, you worked with him.
You let me in the Christmas party with you.
It was so nice.
My name, they invited me.
My name was it on the list.
I showed up and I was like, hey, Robert Kelly.
And the girl was like, I know, I know, I know.
I was like, I was like, fuck this. the girl was like, I don't know. I was like, I was like,
fuck this.
I was so mad.
I didn't want to go.
No, no, no, it was up stairs and in the place.
What?
And then he just goes,
booby, come on, he can go.
He's fine.
Go ahead, booby.
Yeah.
That was a thanks brother.
The nicest guy.
He was so nice.
And I want to run into him.
He's totally remember us.
He would remember me.
Not me.
Oh, easily.
Let me tell you,
you don't know famous people, do you you are you kidding me? I went into fucking
What's his name? Oh boy?
That's how famous he is
No, they're not the nearer very famous
From hotel Rwanda John Seedle and he came up to me at the golf course. He goes hey man
You're fucking great on the show. He was friends with the director
What you know last comic when I was on last, he goes, hey man, you're fucking great on the show. He was friends with the director. When I was on the last comic, when I was on the last comic,
he goes, I'm so.
So when you were on TV, another guy from TV recognized you.
That's not too far of a stretch.
He's not going, I don't know.
If Don Chito walked down the street with Bonnie,
who was directing his movie, he would walk by you.
He would have been, first of all, he would go nice watch.
That's the first thing he would say.
Is that the skydeweller? Do you remember me from last comic stand,
Dan?
No, nobody remembers the show.
I never mind the people on it.
No, no, he'll remember because he was friends with the director.
And I saw him at the golf course.
And he goes, Hey, you're great.
And like a dummy, I go, can we take a picture together? And his eyes drop. I went from Peer. because he was friends with the director and I saw him at the golf course and he goes, hey, you're great on the show.
And like it, dummy, I go,
can we take a picture together and his eyes drop?
I went from Peer.
I think he knows the things you say about black people.
I don't say anything negative about black people.
Not to their face.
No.
I recorded you saying it to me.
I'm gonna release that tomorrow
unless you hand over that fucking watch, you bitch.
What do you call it?
You know nervous. He got you. I'm not nervous. You kidding me. I shouldn't I shouldn't be a rat
You are right. I can't believe we talked about those I knew guys in Boston
I was just taught one of the kids he wasn't in the the mall, but he got adopted by a guy who was definitely in some shit.
And he was the nicest guy in the world.
I love them.
He was like one of my closest friends
when I first started comedy.
Like I hung out with Burr and Patrice at the clubs,
but most of the time I hung out like in the North End
with all these guys. I was waiting tables too.
Like this guy Jamie just got me the job
because it was easy money, cash, and I could do comedy.
And it was so fucking wild.
I love, I love those guys.
I love those guys.
I love the party firm.
Didn't you do a private party firm on my shirt?
Yeah, he would call me up on time.
He's like, what are you doing on the 14th?
And I was like, nothing, I thought we were gonna do something. He goes, good, you got a gig. I did. Yeah, he would call me up on time. He's like, what are you doing on the 14th? And I was like, nothing.
I thought we were going to do something.
He goes, good, you got a gig.
Oh, I'm like, where?
He's like, Ming.
So I'm like, Ming's has been closed for 10 years.
Not anymore.
Oh, come down now.
And he was like, right down the street from my house.
I go down to this Chinese restaurant that hasn't been opened in my life.
And there was lights and Mercedes and Catholics in the parking lot.
And I go in the tying guys, just wife beat us in the corner playing poker.
I sit at the table with Steven and this other guy,
and this guy, Moosey walks up.
This guy is fucking like seven feet tall and seven feet wide.
I know what you're gonna do the show.
I hope you're good.
I was like, what show?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Steven just told my, I got this guy. Right. Right. And I sit down and see how do you
put a set list together for a gig like that? He goes, he goes,
listen, Joe, the Bob, I just got out of fed prison assumption.
And we're throwing a bash here. And you're going to do it.
We're going to do comedy. And he goes, it's the wives. So you got
to be really respectful. You can't be an asshole. It's not
the girlfriends. So I was I'm
painting it. I'm sitting down and they had ribs and rice and then this dude came out
with lasagna. Yeah. He was my mother just made this and he put it on the table. It was
so good. I was in Chinese ribs and rice and lasagna. And so I went and I got this kid
from Lynn, the tying guy, the tying comic that wasn't good.
He sucked, because it's perfect.
He's gonna go up, he'll do all right, open the show up,
he'll blow, I'll go up and knock the doors off
for 25, 30 minutes.
I show up late, it's right down the street from my house.
I show up late, the show started.
I'm outside, I hear laughing.
And I'm like, what the fuck is that?
I go on, he's murdering.
Yeah.
He had 15 minutes of Italian jokes about his mom
and his grandma and he's on stage going,
why would you do that?
And they're fucking murdering.
Oh, Jesus.
And I'm like, no.
They're not very bright people.
Dude, I don't know if you should ask.
I didn't say that.
You know what, that guy, Moosey walked out because you better be as funny as him. Yeah, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. That guy
Moosey walked out because you better be as funny as him. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I'm not.
I don't have any. What do you, right? You're no. No, I, I had jokes, but they will only work in that
situation if he bombed. I can't follow a guy murdering with what they find funny.
Do you know what I mean?
Like if he needs to bring the bar down terribly
and then I come up and even if I stink, I'm good.
And I was definitely new and I went up and I was moosey.
I remember this guy grabbed the chair, turned around
and just sat right in the front row, staring at me. And it was moosey. I remember this guy grabbed the chair, turned around and just sat right in the front row,
staring at me.
And it was a dead silent.
And all these mob guys in suits.
Oh my God.
Just looking at me and I'm like,
the fuck, I know this guy was supposed to bomb.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I go and then I go,
I got this fucking gorilla.
And the, and it was like that pause.
And the place, they go, the buggerilla.
And they fucking, Moussie was like,
good to fuck them all the go, go, go.
And he was just, I'm fucking all right.
And then I go, and who's Ming?
And they were like, he's in the kitchen.
He's in there, he loves the horses.
That was when they drag out this old Chinese guy, Ming.
That's who was in jail?
No, that's the guy who owned the place.
And he bet the horses so they took the place
and fucking sizzled it to the ground and just kept it.
And they made him come back and cook for them
while they opened it back up for this.
And he's on the stage with this guy.
And he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
He's just this old, didn't speak really English. He's like, hello, and he's like, how long, how long? He's just this old, didn't speak really English.
He's like, hello, and he's just, it was weird.
And I trashed him and then I trashed him
and I got off and I was like, thank God,
I mean, it would have been a bad thing.
We did, there used to be a mob club
in Brooklyn tickles.
And sure it wasn't a strip club.
It was either tickles or toppers or two.
And what's his name?
It was in a pedophilia club or two and what's his name? There was an epiphelia club
It's a great name
Food open one of those in Germany somewhere. Yeah come to dickles
And leave you was on leave you does crowd working stuff and he picked they were gonna kill them
Yeah, and they they were really gonna fucking either kill them or beat him up
And the owner had to talk to guys out what did he say to you?
He was just fucking with people in the audience.
But these guys were all connected.
Some of them were probably made and he's fucking, you know,
whatever.
He has no clue.
He's just doing fucking horrible.
I mean, not being horrible to, you know,
and the owner had to talk to the guys
because he was connected and he said,
just get the fuck out of here.
Just get out of here.
Yeah, they were to fuck them. Dude, I was at a club where this mob guy just he threw a shoe at the
fucking comic took a shoe off saying stuff and the comic said something back and it went back for
a second. He took his like this really fancy Italian leather shoe and hummed it at this fucking kid.
And the kid was like, what the fuck?
And nobody did anything.
And then he goes, give me my shoe back.
You mean the kid walk over and hand the shoe back
that he just threw it his fucking head?
Listen, we want guys, I know that,
I get it, I get it, it's crime and all that. Yeah, but we love sensitive right?
Huh? They're a little sensitive.
No, it's respect. You got it. You got it. Is this the shit you did on the podcast?
Is this why you got people fucking well?
It was you just think that if you've killed people you could take a joke about yourself for what?
No, actually the exact opposite. Yeah. If you murder people, you're a sense of humor as limited.
I mean, I don't know what you're thinking
you alternative loser.
Yeah, you guys should take a joke, right?
No, they murder people.
We were doing it.
What do you think?
They find, no, but beating up different races funny.
Yeah, that's not a, that's not really. Yeah,
there's no you see we did it. That's what they don't hit you in the bat and go to hear this one.
But Mike, these defonna one time was like tough guys laugh and have a good time and
punks it like get offended. Maybe I don't know. I guess it happened on what you can ask them.
So yeah, we were doing a club. It was called's Up. And you know that Mike, I was gonna,
I was supposed to meet him for lunch one day
and he said he was actually meeting you
and I didn't meet him for lunch
and then I'd haven't seen him since.
So back at you with the Bob Sagat thing.
So we used to do this called Michael's
or something up in Westchester,
but it's where the giant, the giants of his club suck.
No, there was one that's Michael's Michael.
Michael, it was, it was where the giants had their spring training.
So they used to come in the shows.
Stevens comedy club.
And, and, you know, this comic was on Harry Freeman watches, and he was, he was fucking
bombing, right?
Right.
And one of the giants that was either L. T. or one of them, he was he was fucking bomb and right and one of the giants
it was either L tier one of them yells get off.
It goes I have to do this and get my money and how much you're getting paid?
He goes $60.
They go, here's a hundred.
Get off.
Thank you.
100 to quit.
Yeah, dude, I like I have a I have a I like mob guys.
I know I know you're not supposed to because they kill people and stuff like that.
Not all of them.
Not all of them.
It's seen, it bums me out that they fucking,
they figured out how to get to them.
And they, it bums me out that,
because I love that code of honor.
I mean, I just love that shit.
We're managers, you don't do this,
you don't do that, you don't rat, you don't fun,
and they have this thing in this thing of ours.
You don't buy a guy's wives.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you don't hurt women and children.
You don't buy a watch that your friend likes.
If we were in the mob, they would be killed.
No.
Oh, I'd have to run it by the uppers,
but I'm sure I'd get to beat him.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd get to do something, I'd get that watch.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'd get to do something. I'd get that watch. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely.
If I was an upper, if I was his boss,
if I was bigger than him in the mob,
I would take, not only would I take those rings off his finger
right now, I'd take that watch.
If I was a sculptor, but then again,
who knows or a man who makes potions?
Oh, that's an one John Song, sorry.
Kate it.
Yeah, well, we, uh, I did a mob club in Brooklyn once, the Brown Derby,
that was well known mob.
Yeah.
And I was scared to death.
I just didn't know crowd work.
And this is when I first started.
I stunk.
Right. I mean, I stink now, but I stunk stunk. And this is when I first started. I stunk.
I mean, I stunk now, but I stunk stunk.
And you don't know how you get these gigs.
It's funny now, I'm less scared of a mob guy or an Italian guy.
I'm more scared of a rich white woman
that used to be good-looking.
You know, scares me to no end.
Or some girl with pink hair.
Or with a phone and she's filming you.
Like what did you say?
Oh yeah dude, I'm pretty.
That's your fide of two young girls
with wool hats on inside.
Yeah.
I was a guy who does my tattoos.
He builds motorcycles.
He's friends, he has a big outdoor thing every year.
He has all this property.
And he goes, you want to host it. And I go, you know, for a thousand dollars worth of free tattoo work.
I go, yeah, why not? They'll be fun. And I, and it's all bikers. And I get, we don't need to know all the details.
So I get there. I go on stage and it's all fucking hell's angles.
And I just go up to introduce myself and I go, I gotta get out of here.
Because if I say the wrong thing to one guy,
I'm, don't kill you.
Don't fucking beat the fuck out of you.
Isn't that just when you do your material?
Like, sometimes you can't.
I mean, sometimes you can't.
I wouldn't are outside and it's tense and muse
and everything.
Sometimes you, sometimes you have to do crowd work.
You have to, you know, like like I it's like that thing where
Shit sorry guys. It's that thing where where
Your
You know when they when Deadpool they had to like kill them to make his X-Men power happen. I didn't see it. You know, it's like Deadpool
Why did you have to say it like you're better than me? I didn't see it. You never saw Deadpool? No. Why did you have to say it like you're better than me?
I just had to see it.
No, but you said it in a tone,
oh, I don't watch that shit.
That's what I heard.
Oh, no, I just, I was trying to make the joke like,
it was a spoiler.
Anyways, I'm kidding.
Come on, yeah.
At whatever.
Well, now the thing doesn't make sense. I mean, your personality just kills things. Yeah, whatever. Um, well, now the thing doesn't make sense.
I mean, your personality just kills things.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, really, autism or something.
No, probably it's probably some form on mild.
No, probably.
You can't hold my eye for fucking three seconds.
Although, one I try to rip that way and count something.
Sorry, I don't worry about it, Racine.
Oh, they finally, my specials coming out.
Are you doing this now?
I'm looking to see so I can promote it.
Oh God, I hate them.
I really do.
Why am I friends with them?
Because I'm a good guy.
You're not.
I didn't tell you when you were in a room.
I had it.
I didn't want to ruin your vacation. I didn't. Do you see how it's all about him, though? No, it's about you. I don't good guy. You're not. I didn't tell you when you were in a room. I had it. I didn't want to ruin your vacation.
I didn't.
Do you see how it's all about him though?
No, it's about you.
I don't want to.
He's saying he's, I don't want to get back into it.
I don't get it.
I'm a good guy.
Good for the watch.
I hope you hope the watch lasts a long time.
I hope you enjoy forever.
I really do.
I hope you enjoy the watch.
I'm happy for you.
I love you that you have a tiny house.
I'm happy for you.
You'll never be invited.
Well, I can't forget.
It's a tiny house.
You can only have one person. Six people. Six people. In my house. Can'll never be invited. Well, I can't say it's a tiny house. You can only have one person, six people in my house.
Can I come? No, I'm putting a fish in a pole.
You'll never come to that ever, ever,
unless you let me have that one.
What about your next barbecue?
No, we're not going to that.
I want to invite you to that.
Not because of the watch, just because you two fucking vegans are a pain in the
ass. I'm going to put you a beet burgers on my fucking grill
and ruin my fucking grill.
I'm not a beet of a vegetarian.
Hey, hey guy, we brought our own burgers.
Oh great, let me throw that horse shit on my grill
and fucking cook it for seven hours.
I don't even know when it's done.
You cook it for four hours.
It's the same colors when you put it on.
Fucking beet burgers. Eat it on. Yeah. Fucking beatburgers.
Beat it.
Impossible burger.
Oh, it stinks.
You're impossible to fucking cook for.
You're in your fucking stupid couscous family.
Oh, there's no need for anger and reason.
Sorry, you guys coming up, you want.
I feel horrible now.
I really do.
You should boss.
It's a, you're, you're, no, I felt that I didn't wear both of
them.
All right, it will come back to you. No, what do you know, do
karma is a good I believe in karma. I said that today. I believe
yeah, I believe in the two and I believe that a fucking
lightning bolt will hit a tree and
Smash down on your new Lexus and your arm will be out and it'll cut that arm off and you'll wake up
And they'll be like where's my watch and like we can see a watch and some fire fire said on his wrist
What model is your Lexus?
2022
He's got a brand new Lexus and he has to get a watch. Nothing fills the
hole right in that little tiny belly. He's empty. Oh, Mike, he's empty. He's emptier than
fucking anything. He's emptier than that. Oh, good adlib. I was thinking about some. I was
wondering if he's emptier than a canteen in the desert. I was going to do a water world reference.
He's emptier than that oil tanker in water world than Dennis Hopper, but then it was just
going too much.
It was too wordy.
You got anything, punch it up or seen what he got.
He's emptier than my mother's, my mother's pussy.
That's good.
You have to go dirty.
I mean, yeah, the womb was. That's good. You have to go dirty. I mean, you have the womb.
Yes.
Yes.
So I'm doing this mafia podcast.
And John Gottlie's daughter called me and said, again, touch me.
And I didn't do it.
I said, email me.
Wasn't John Gottlie's gone?
No.
How the fuck?
No.
You could have the biggest podcast on the planet.
You interview him.
You get people that were.
You get top.
No, but he can't because he's too. Why? You could, I could do it because we have some type of decorum,
a little respect for these people. This guy's a lunatic, he will go for the fucking laugh
and his child will be fucking a danger. You understand? He has to stop doing it. He's not mentally fit.
He does to do a podcast about murderers while the murderers are still around.
Like all those guys are getting out of jail now. And they all have podcasts. So when they
have friends and family, find out that they're doing pod, which is, it's nuts to me that the mafia, the code of silence, and now they're literally on iTunes is fucking
baffling to me.
The world is upside down.
Yeah, but it's almost like it's all fake.
You think these are, well, didn't they have, like the whole, the whole, the, all these
values that they espoused, they're, they're just, they're not real.
Well, that's all school stuff.
But wait, didn't, those was a TV show like mobsters wives
or something, right?
Mob wives.
Yeah, yeah, and they were real,
when they were real, when they real,
yeah, Sammy the Bulls daughter was on it.
No, well, what about what was the one with the kids
with the great, growing up, Goddy?
With the great hair.
I think that was growing up, Goddy.
Remember the kid's hair was so fucking,
yeah, it was Victoria Goddy. Remember the kid's hair was so fucking. Yeah, it was Victoria Goddard.
And she lived in a mansion.
Yeah.
In her dad's mansion, right?
Yeah.
Or was it hers?
I, yeah, I, I don't know.
Where did they live in tote, not in Staten Island?
It was Staten Island, right?
It might have been.
Toad Hill.
Well, that was where, it's all the nice houses over there.
Yeah, yeah.
Some big.
But that was so fascinating to watch them just be a regular family.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean? Just, Just, but I knew people like that.
In Boston, I remember one year I was at, I was in, I worked at this restaurant and a guy
came in, Richie, whatever.
I'm not gonna say his whole name, but what his name was Richie.
And he just got out of prison.
And my friend Steve was like, Bobby, I want you sit down, have dinner with us.
So I sit down, have dinner with him and Richie.
And this guy was a serious, you could feel,
his energy was so alpha and so,
it was just intoxicating to be around that type of person.
And we sat and we had lunch. And I was like, Katie was telling you, he's a comic, he's trying to be that that type of person. And we sat and we had lunch.
And I was like,
can he was telling you,
he's a comic, he's trying to be that, blah, blah.
And he's like, I like you, you're a good kid,
you know, whatever.
I'm sober, I don't drink, I don't do,
I worked with kids, you know,
and Joey, all in all that shit.
I had no part of that life.
And so I'm driving around one night.
And this other kid
was a friend of mine who was in comedy. He ran a couple comedy clubs. It was, you know, kind of side queer, right? And I got a call.
I've never heard that term before. Side queer? Yeah. Yeah. Side queer. And I get a call.
It's when we had to use payphones. I had a page or I think I got a little, I-quare. And I get a call. Just want me to use payphones. I had a page there, I think.
I got a little, I got a page.
I call the number at a payphone.
It's this guy.
The side-quare?
The side-quare?
No, no, no, no, no.
Richie.
Bobby, this is Richie.
What are you doing?
All mom guys say that to you, by the way.
What are you doing?
And you should always have something in the can.
I'm at my grandmother's.
I'm going to my mom's.
I'm on a date because if you say nothing,
if you say nothing, good, commit you're in.
Shitty friends do that too.
They go, what are you doing tomorrow?
Yeah, yeah.
Can you help me move?
I know.
So what happened?
So he goes, what are you doing?
And I fucked up.
I said nothing because I was just panicking.
He goes, come over.
And he gave me his address.
That's when you had to find, there was no map quest.
I had to ask people, I got to drive.
So over by the, you had to give landmark,
by the cemetery, by the, you know, the sub shop.
And take a left, you had to pull over,
you had to get to the sub shop and then go,
hey, where's, it's right there, you know?
And I got to this house, this beautiful house,
the statue's out front, it was really nice.
And I opened the door and there he is.
And he's like, hey, and I go on the table
and there's my friend, my side queer friend,
at the table, looking like, I'm like,
are they gonna kill him?
Like, he was like, hey, what's up?
I was like, what are you doing, man Like, he was like, hey, what's up? I was like, what are you doing, man?
And he was like, don't tell them.
Like, don't, he was related to them.
Oh, oh.
It was like, do please, nobody knows.
Oh, I was just like, it was so funny.
Well, why did he tell you to come over?
Well, the guy, he talked to him, he knew,
he's a guy, know him.
He's a guy talking to his kid, he's in,
oh yeah, he's a friend of mine.
Get him to fuck, and he goes, I say go over there,
and I'm sitting at this guy's table,
the nicest fucking people, the wife, the kids,
and there was so fucking awesome, so nice,
and so interesting, and so charismatic,
and that's rich in his family.
His family, and then he goes,
what are you doing with Thanksgiving? And I'm like, I'm having it with my family. Yeah, come over
Yeah, I don't leave my family on Thanksgiving. Yeah, good family
I left my family my mom's like where are you going? I'm going to Richie's house and I had to go over to his house
Martha, he was like the little kid I was like to get why do you hang out with your shitty family on a holiday when you could, you gonna, he's like the kid in Bronx tale. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Plagino. But he's like 35. Yeah. I'm just, I'm phallazino. Fatsio. Yo, I, I had to leave
my family. It was a weirdest thing. And I go over there and I'm sitting there on Thanksgiving
with this family. And it was awesome. The food was way better, right? I had an Irish Catholic family.
It was like fucking galaish.
I go over there, it was fucking homemade meatballs.
The wife was like, do you like lasagna?
I'm like, yes.
And I'm sitting in the living room.
It was crazy, crazy.
But, you know, I just think those people are fascinating and really cool and charismatic and it sucks
that they really can't be too close.
So they murder people.
It sucks that they murder people.
And you could remove the murder out of it.
Well, I don't know about that either,
because they do kill bad people.
Yeah, so like they're just killing women and children.
No, right?
No, they don't do that.
It depends who they kill. Who do they, who do mob guys kill? Other people? They and children. No, right? No, they don't do that. It depends who they kill.
Who do they, who do mob guys kill?
Other people?
The cops, right?
I hear you, right?
Unless you own a store and you're not paying
and you're fucking, is that, that's a weird thing?
They don't, they don't really kill cops
or like prosecutors or judges either
because it's just too much paying attention.
Well, right?
The Mexican cartels will do that.
They'll kill anybody.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Mexican cartels kind of took over, correct?
Yeah, I think.
Because there's a loyalty to them that is,
you'll just be murdered.
Yeah, I don't know as much about them.
Well, please don't do a podcast on that.
On the Mexican cartel.
I don't want you cracking jokes.
Okay, everybody.
Let me tell you something.
I want you watch all those shows.
They're ruthless.
Yeah, the cart.
I mean, no. It's, they go after innocent people too.
What do you mean?
Like, there's some documentary that I watched
where there was a lime farm or something
in the owner of the lime farm didn't want to pay the cartels.
So the cartels wiped out the workers of the lime farm,
just these poor farmers, the kids and stuff too. Yeah, they felt like 15 people. Wow, that's just the owner of the farm didn, just these like poor farmers, you know, the kids and stuff too.
Yeah, they feel like 15 people.
Wow, that's just the owner of the farm didn't want to-
And they probably killed them in a vicious way, too, yeah.
Yeah, they, I mean, they decapitate people.
They hate it from bridges.
Like just people who like aren't even involved.
They hang you from bridges.
Yeah, they're pretty bad.
That's like that way in that-
Imagine if your boss didn't wanna pay a cartel,
and you just, you know, you're just working
at Burger King or something.
And he kills all the Burger King workers.
He just comes in and he just get wiped out one day
because you dumbed Boston,
give him free burgers.
Yeah.
And 36 bucks a week.
Yeah.
I never understood that though.
Why would they, why do they tax the local businesses?
Because that's just about making as much money, I think.
Yeah, but how much money are you really making off a local,
what, a 500 bucks a week?
What is it?
Yeah, but it's a lot of business.
I wonder, because they never tell you what that is.
In the movies, they always just.
Protection, yeah, they protect them.
You go at the money, we're gonna put the,
and it's like, they give them this little envelope,
and it's like, well, how much is it?
Yeah.
Because if it's only a couple hundred,
I would just be like yeah man whatever you need.
I'll give it to you.
Yeah.
Yeah, why not fuck not.
I'm gonna pay how much money for security cameras.
Yeah.
And I'll just pay them mob to, yeah come on in.
But if it's, look if it's two grand a week,
it's like suck my deck.
I'd rather think the beaten.
Hang my wife and children.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And what do you do, Af?
Well I only have one wife and kid and you got him. And what do you do, Af? Well, I only have one wife and kid, and you got him.
So what are you gonna do now?
What are you gonna do now, Thump Guy?
It's a weird thing, man, the Mafia.
I wish, I mean, you can't even do a movie on them anymore,
really, right?
What do you mean?
I mean, I wasn't gonna start out with one of them.
I think that genre's kind of over though,
because it's not really like as relevant as it used to be.
The fucking Jewish Mafia in New York, and do you ever do stuff on them? I think that genre is kind of over though because there's not it's not really like as relevant as it used to be the
Fucking Jewish mafia in New York and did you ever do stuff on them like bugs? You see a girl in my last a little a little bit. We did a couple episodes on those guys were fucking rules
Yeah, that's shouts. Yeah
They were but they're not anymore. No, no
Yeah, the Jewish mafia was pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, that whole thing is just gone.
The lower east side.
But I think what happened was like the Jewish mob
and the Irish mob, their kids ended up going into
like the upper echelons of society.
And the Italians were like,
nah, we're gonna go because they just liked crime a lot.
The Irish mob, what do you call it?
Did you ever stay to grace?
What the fuck would they call those Irish?
No, they had a name for them. Look at Africa. Okay. They were fucking she can look it up
She has a she has a super computer the Irish mob what what they called the I don't remember
You can know who like when what what era? I love that you're going to the west like the west the westies. He's a specialist. Yeah, there you go
You ever the book I read the book was way better the movie the movie
I hate what people say that's the last book I read intelligent. I haven't read a book since I got the book was way better
Let me tell you the last book I read was not better than the movie Harry Potter was a way better movie that's book.
So you didn't read Harry Potter.
It did.
Took you three years.
No, it took me eight months, but I read it.
It read us.
It's fucking grueling.
That and the vampire listats almost took my life away.
I haven't read those fucking books.
I used to read all the mob books and autobiographies.
I don't do that anymore.
I used to all the time. I used to get books and stuff,ies. I don't do that anymore. I used to all the time.
I used to get books and stuff,
but now I just go to YouTube.
Yeah.
Like the other night I sat and I learned all about general patent.
That's cool.
Because he was, you know, he, this guy would go into the hospital
and these guys are shell shocked. They're
literally fucking crazy from the war. What war was that?
We're gonna war too. Thank you. God. I mean you're a fucking Jew. You should know that.
No, I was just kidding. That was your war. Yeah, you started it. Yeah, you guys are we smart? Yeah, we're being smart.
So what happened?
You're the one that dragged us in through.
Yeah, you're the one that some guy bought Hitler's watch.
Yeah, it was some Jewish guy.
So what did you like this?
Hitler was like, you fucking ass.
That's my watch.
Kill them all.
Well, he was a, he was just a brutal guy.
He went in and he slapped a guy on the hospital.
And he was kind of like,
I can't believe he had no arms.
Yeah, and he told you know,
George C Scott played him in the movie.
Not his voice was not that.
His voice was way different than that.
It was almost weird hearing his speech.
And he was very smart, but he doesn't sound as smart.
When he gave that speech in front of the flag,
it was like, wow, that's a man.
He doesn't say, it sounds like he's a regular dude
giving him a speech.
But he slapped the guy on the hospital
because he was, he was shell shocked.
He was, he was scared and he was crying.
He's being a pussy.
And he was being a pussy to, to patent and he slapped him.
And he said, you should be brought in front of a firing squad.
And he got into a lot of trouble for that.
There was, there was also another.
He's in the Improved's Cancel him, huh?
The Improved's canceled him. I get it. Oh, patent all is well. There was there was also another props cancel him huh the improvs canceled them
I get it. Oh pat and all is well. No, no
No, I just hear Jamie got in trouble. What kind of trouble can you get him back then?
Dude when you slap a dude in the hospital that's he's in general doesn't matter dude. You can't do that shit
He actually took I believe I'm probably wrong, but 300 and there was 300 and something troops
and 10 tanks into a part of Germany to take over. And they found out his son-in-law was cal captive
by the Germans.
And he came back with like 30 people and no tanks.
And he got into a lot of shit
because he wasn't supposed to do,
you can't just go rescue relatives
in the middle of a world
or use all those men.
All those people are dead
because he just was like,
fuck it, let's go get Gary.
I'll get him relaxed.
You fucking twat.
Daddy, daddy, I know, I know.
But the saying that he might have been murdered.
Oh yeah, yeah, because he died in a car accident. Yeah, the saying that is he might have been murdered.
Oh yeah, yeah, because he died in a car accident.
Yeah, the saying that a truck just fucking
just went and drove into his car.
Yeah.
So the saying he might have been murdered
who wanted to kill him.
The government, they just didn't, you know, they,
well, he was just too much of a loud mouth there.
Yeah, he was just too much of a rebellion. That. Yeah, he was just too much of a rebellion.
That was my carter and all those guys were like,
McCarthy, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, McCarthy, not McCarthy.
Right?
Now he's got me dumb.
Yeah.
I cannot speak.
I was talking about the Beatles.
No.
That's my,
I don't, you know, I can go read a book on that shit or I can just sit there and I
Literally just let it play on my pillow at night
Yeah, yeah, then I and he learned all about this shit
Yeah, it's fun and they're shorter than reading and you have pillow talk with patent and shorter than reading a book
And you know a lot of times in a book but when the patent die When they truck hit him. No, I know
He died I never liked during the war after the war he died
I think the war was still going on
1945 yeah, so right at the end of the world right at the end of the war. He died. Yeah, look at him
Yeah, he's
Um, yeah, he's, he's, uh, yeah.
I mean, that Jesus Christ, that guy's a man.
I mean, look at those. They don't make that dude anymore.
You know what I mean?
Look at they make fucking little finger rich.
Oh, you're a man.
Go back to that.
Show the car accident.
Oh, look at that.
Go back to that page, if you can.
Yeah, reading books, I get it,
but there's a lot of fucking filler
in a lot of these books, just, yeah.
And my brain, I have a learning disability.
Yeah.
I have dyslexia and I have all kinds of shit.
Do you do the audio books?
I like audio books, yeah.
I can do audio books, yeah.
I just got an audiobook on the really,
I can't wait to read it on AA,
on how AA alcoholics anonymous was started,
like the whole thing,
and I can't wait to,
you can understand,
like alcoholics anonymous,
two guys started it.
Like one guy really started it, and then he was getting sober alone
What was his name? Well, he tried to go he he went to England. There's a bunch of shit before he got it started over here
Oh Bill yeah, yeah
It's it's fascinating. He has a house in Manhattan doesn't he?
I don't I want you to go to his house when I was in Ohio. Dr. Bob and Bill W. But Bill W. In the top 100 most influential
people of the century, Bill W. was in it, but not Dr. Bob, which I don't get. Bill W. started
AA with him with Dr. Bob. We're Dr. Bob, but he, you know, I don't know,
I'm gonna read, I'm gonna listen to this audiobook,
but yeah, and Ebbie was your third person, right?
Ebbie was the third person.
Well, there was the first hundred.
Yeah, but that third person in, in, yeah.
Well, yeah, what happened was, is that it was,
I think a hundred people, and there was a lady too.
There was one lady at the beginning of it.
But yeah, it was just a bunch of dudes
trying not to drink and the basic,
basically what he discovered is that he was trying to get people,
he couldn't get people to help.
Like nobody would stick.
Doctors, he couldn't get,
couldn't get any adults and doctors.
But he was trying to go help people,
but all these people kept failing and drinking,
but by him helping other people, he wasn't drinking.
Like that feeling on that,
so he figured out that one of the main things to do
to get sober for somebody who has alcoholism
is to help other, try to help another alcoholic to be sober.
Not that they're gonna do it,
but you by you doing that will keep you sober,
which is pretty well.
He would go into hospitals and talk to Dr. Drunks
before he met Dr. Bob.
Yeah.
Dr. Bob was one of those Drunks.
Yeah. He also, Dr. Bob was a fucking,
he's new surgery's shaking. Yeah, he and
Bill W went to England as he therapy. Look at that car wreck. That's it right there. Yeah,
he was, the windshields not fucked up. It's just a front. Yeah, but he, what he, what happened
was he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he
went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went,
he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went,
he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went really great though to be that truck driver, to kill an old man with your truck.
That must make you feel pretty powerful.
He didn't have a seatbelt on,
so he smashed his head open.
Of course he did.
Yeah, he smashed it.
Well, they didn't have fucking seatbelts back then.
We started wearing seatbelts in 1990.
You know what I mean?
School buses didn't have them for,
they do now.
Now they do.
But nobody wore their seatbelt on the,
nobody wore a seatbelt in the 70s 80s
Nobody you've got you cut them out you tuck them in yeah, you tuck them into the back seat
Yeah, and then they figured out that all these people are flying through the windshield my parents and the people from the back seat
A little bit killing the people in the front seat my parents on our honeymoon
Went off the road down a ditch and hit a tree and both of them went through the windshield on our honeymoon
Where why do you think dad was distracted driving the car?
I don't know what happened.
Did we see the movie Garpe?
No, but he wasn't blind.
They were laying on their,
was she was sucking his dick?
Yes, you're right.
No, your mom was sucking your dad's dick.
No, they, she wouldn't have been on the windshield then, dummy.
Oh, that's just quick.
No, as you see.
As you see, I'm not putting that in my mouth. Right through the windshield, down. Really? then, dummy. Oh, that's just quick. No, as you me. As you saw me, she was like, I'm not putting that in my mouth.
Right through the windshield down.
Really?
And that's back when windshields were fucking like
extra glass.
They were fucking.
Yeah, do back in the day, they used those windshields
now in bodegas.
Yeah, dude, windshields now you can just smash
and they crystallize.
windshields back then were like fucking an inch thing. You can make an aquarium they crystallize. Windshields back then were like,
fucking an inch thing.
You can make an aquarium out of a fucking cage.
You could go down to the fucking Mariana trench
with those fucking windshields.
They were the Alcapone windshields.
Yeah, terrible.
Go on, do one of the-
Oh my suck.
They were laying on the hood.
Oh, hardy, should have both been dead.
And what happened to them?
They were rushed at a hospital
and they were, you know, it was under honeymoon or whatever.
Really?
What a shit honeymoon.
Yeah, well, next time fly.
They did.
Maybe Voss, maybe Voss's mom was driving
and his dad was eating her pussy.
Yeah.
Well, on the road.
That's why he shouldn't do a podcast.
He was good.
Yeah, no, I'm telling you.
We're seeing you.
You can't, no Phil, don't do a,
no, he's always trying to be funny
He doesn't care. It's like Bonnie very similar. You don't know I fucking do anything
I want you to do a podcast on like I'm ballet seamstress like dress making
Parkes every month on some different job. Okay. Yeah, how's that sound? Yeah, that's good. Like the guys who make coolers.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, they won't come to kill me.
He's gonna snap.
Why do you say that?
Because he's got that in him.
I like it.
I don't think he has it.
I think Racine is just,
I think he's fucking one of the nicest guys ever for me.
Oh, look at him.
That's the kind of guy that everybody goes,
oh yeah, he was a great paper.
Do you have that in you, you think? Yeah, I think I'm due for something, yeah, he was a great paper. Do you have that in you, you think?
Yeah, I think I'm due for something, yeah.
I think I'm due for it.
I'm fucking, I'm petrified.
You can't read people.
Buddy, I read people, but I was trying to befriend
his psychonist so that I wouldn't be the one he kills
when he does not.
He come to me and go, dude, thanks for believing in me.
And he'd fucking murder you.
What do you think I'm sending him a fucking phone cover?
Thanks for the phone cover, boss.
Nobody kills you.
He takes your watch and hands it to me.
Thanks for not thinking I'm crazy.
Are you really, do you have that in you, you think?
No, I don't think so.
But I guess when I was a kid, got bullied and stuff and I never really like yeah
I never really like stood up for myself. What they do, you know
I just like who was it finger you just kids
They fingered me
Listen we would do it. We're gonna go to I'm sorry. We go to Patreon.com, Sasha Robert Kelly. If you're a fan, we got all these fan questions
from the Patreon coming in from you guys.
If you have questions, send them in right now
and new Nikki will put them over to me.
And I want to talk about this bully thing with you.
Oh sure, yeah.
Because my kid's kind of going through it now.
Really?
Yeah. Oh, that's. Because my kids kind of going through it now.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's horrible.
And so, yeah, it's weird.
But anyways, where are you gonna be this weekend?
At the next closet, oh next weekend?
Yeah, you at the Plaza this weekend?
And you tell them, now yeah, that's a great room.
Is it?
Yeah, do.
I was thinking of something for me and you. Tell me. We do a residency at the Plaza. I was try yeah, go ahead and see how he is no go ahead
I thought himself, but you see what he did. I start no I was gonna ask you if you wanted to do a residency
That's a still my idea at my house. Do you want to move in with me?
I'm gonna do with that
I
Was thinking we do a residency at the Plaza for a month.
We do it for more than two years.
What do you and us do a residency?
But we do stand up, then we come out together,
and we just smash the crowd like an old school.
Like we used to do.
Yeah, like an old school Don Rickles type thing.
You know what I mean?
And we trash people, we, we trash people.
We make fun of people.
And you know, can I mediate that?
No.
Well, it's funny that you did do that already.
It's gangfest.
Yeah, that's fun.
Oh, we had, we had, we scared to come out on stage with this.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, because you were peeking your head out though.
Well, I wanted to watch you guys.
And I, I didn't know where else to watch.
Cause I was next.
So I went to watch.
Do we have a reputation of being mean people?
No.
No, through the other comics.
No, no, no, no.
What other comics say about us?
I said that he's just a stand up guy.
No, it's generous with his phone cases.
I really do want that phone case.
You're gonna get it.
Yeah.
Write your address, I'll mail it tomorrow.
Okay.
iPhone 8, right?
Yeah.
I'll buy you a brand new, whatever one you want.
This is on your iPhone 8 case. I will buy you a brand new whatever one you buy phone 8 case
I will buy your brand new one off of the apple set you pick yeah, if you take his and burn it when he gets
I want you to shit on it and then burn it in your backyard. You can burn shit. Hey, can yours again
Yeah, it's vegetable shit. I guess he just hate so I can talk to him about a residency
I'm thinking we could do a residency
just hate. So I can talk to him about a residency.
I'm thinking we could do a residency
where we, you know, and we do it old school.
We just Friday and Saturday.
We have to brand it old school blah, blah, blah.
We charge this much for a ticket and you come in
and, you know, we fuck with you.
Yeah.
Zach Amico is like, I wouldn't have known what to do out there
if I was on stage with with Bobby and Voss
Why why he's quick? Well cuz you guys are you but you guys are quick with you guys are used to doing
Crowd work where you fuck with people and I don't not everybody you not everybody's as good as you guys, but you were great
Yeah, but I was just I just went like he was far
I did like a mid like a bit out of it. I thought it was great
That's it. Yeah, but this is what you did you found your funny, not to go back to my Deadpool thing
that you didn't fucking get at the first time,
but they had to torture you.
I just don't really watch Marvel.
I'll put it.
Well, they had to put him in a situation
where he had to become, your powers came out.
And that's what happens to I believe really funny people.
Really funny people.
Not people who learn this fucking formula. I'm talking about
really funny people. You put them in a fucked up situation and their default is to be
funnier. That's Keith's philosophy, back at a bus funny. The kids that sat on the back
of the bus going to school were the funny kids. The kids up front were, you know, the comics
now that bring their
computers to the cellar and fucking write in the table and not sitting back and trash
each other and build ourselves up by carrying other people down.
Where are you going to be this weekend? I'll be in Rochester and Buffalo this weekend,
so Thursday night I'll be in Buffalo.
The funny bone?
No, some, shh, some bar,, some I'm doing like a bar show.
But then I'm doing comedy at the Carlson and Rochester.
It's great man, great club, love that club.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so Thursday night I'm just doing like
a little bar show in Buffalo.
Fucking great, yeah, fucking put that down.
I love those shows.
Yeah, I love putting the string of shows like that.
Yeah, it's me, you make more, I might listen.
I did, if I didn't make it the money, you make money,
but you also get to perform in like a different place every night
People that want to see comedy you know a club and these five shows at the same venue
It's like fuck man. This is such the Roops. It's so horseshit. Yeah, it's such it 1980s
You know way of doing stand-up. I like when you yeah, I wish you, I wish we'd get to go into these clubs
like Friday night and then I go to their other clubs
Saturday.
And someone comes and you know what I mean?
You could just pop around a little bit.
Well, the thing is too, and you do the moment.
We do a couple cities in a weekend.
Yeah, I love doing that.
I love doing that.
And you take your fingers.
That's why.
Just when you do these other clubs
that are paper in the rooms and they're there,
you know, they gotta have two items
in chicken bones or wings.
It's fucking, you know, some people,
it's miserable, but then when you go into a place,
like Bobby says a bar, maybe a hundred seats,
two, whatever, they're there.
Yeah, yeah.
They don't have it there all the time.
Yeah. So I just hope I get people out.
Well, yeah, the ticket links in my social media bio.
Yeah, go to, tell them that.
It's just a mic recene on Twitter
and recene my go on Instagram.
All right, go check him out.
Very funny. Very funny.
I want to, I tell your wife every time I share every year,
you're one of the funniest.
He was truly one of the funniest guys in New York.
That, you know, I've heard about you before I met you which to me when that happened
You know I'm can I say yeah, I have just hit me but I'll have shot
Yes, I didn't say I wasn't cutting you off. I just I mean you took my watch
Do you want to take my show to how can I do that you can just ask
Fuck it. I'll leave from my fucking do a residency here
I was doing Boston.
Then I went and did a guest spot somewhere killed.
He went on after me and had no fucking problem.
I think you did that with me one time too, didn't ya?
Where was it in Boston?
It was a hideout I think.
Yeah, it was a little, he went on,
I'm going this fucking guy is so funny.
And you're not an easy actor follow, I'm impossible.
He went out with no problem.
I mean, in a club, if I didn't have, if I didn't hour, he wouldn't have a shot, but, you know, but he fucking killed.
He killed. I've gone to Bethlehem, not after an hour. Not after an hour. I have never.
I can go up after you do. You could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could, you, you could, you, you could, you could, you, you could, you, you could, you could, you, you could, you, you could, you, you could, you could, you, you could, you, you could, I have to send you the model. They're boredom. Yeah. What do you do? You just, you have to fucking let him sit for a second and then like, okay, we're back.
No, very funny guy.
Make sure you check him out.
And of course, the legend, Rich Foss, make sure you go and check out all his shows, check
out his podcast.
My wife hates me.
It's one of my favorite podcasts.
It truly is. The way they argue, I mean, Bonnie says exactly what I wanted to say when
I wanted to say it, when you just, I mean, you start talking and I, I'm in my car going
fucking, ah, and that comes out of her, which is hilarious.
And then Louis Anderson calls.
Anyways, we have a new segment that we're gonna start.
What's it called?
Apologies.
Apologies, because every day somebody's apologizing
for something, do you know what's her name?
Who's married to RFK?
Yeah, Cheryl Heinz.
Cheryl Heinz, that was funny.
She had a politicized for what he's fucking saying.
He said that the vaccine, the COVID restrictions are like being like Anne Frank.
You know, she at least had Jews got the hide he said or something.
Oh, really?
Something like that.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
How did they always compare everything to Hitler to Jews, the holocaust, hiding in the
attic?
Jesus, give us a fucking break for a week.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny.
You guys are great.
I did Anthony's podcast, he was like unbelievable.
What do you mean?
Let's talk about that.
We'll go into the Patreon extras right now.
We're going to be reading the names of all the new Patreon people.
Thanks for joining.
I hope you're enjoying the podcast and the new format.
We're pulling out.
And if there's anybody you want to see on the show, anything you want to see, or anything,
what are you doing?
I thought you were reading.
So what's the new format?
What we do, like an hour or so here, and then we go to the Patreon extras and we take
questions and reading names and we were doing that.
You were doing that forever.
Every time I been, here, you do that.
Boss, I can't, the level of, I don't know why you love me.
You said, you did I have for you.
I knew.
It's not really a new format.
It's nuts to me.
I hope when you do snap, he's around.
I hope whenever that comes out, it comes out towards him.
I hope whatever came out of your ears just now.
Okay.
All right, we'll see you.
So stick around, we'll go to patreon.com.
What do you want?
You guys gonna pee or something?
Yeah, you might.
Yeah, go to pee.
I got an 11, 10 in your comedy.
Yeah, we're gonna wrap it up.
How do you get that?
I beg for it.
Let me see here.
We're gonna read the names.
It's to the left. Yeah, don't be a left couch.
Anyways, Voss needs to be closer to his mic. Okay. I can't be any closer. Yeah, you could
That's funny. This is funny. All right, here we are. I got all these questions right could. Um, that's funny.
This is funny.
Ah, here we are.
I got all these questions right now.
Anyways, we're here.
Voss, I can't believe you got the watch.
It's fucking mind-numbing.
Can you at least read these names for me?
But, co-cologic.
What the fuck?
I love co-cologic.
Welcome, co-cologic.
Gotta read that.
There's nothing to read. It says co-cologic. Welcome, co-cologic. Gotta read that.
There's nothing to read. It says, co-cologic, no address.
I can't.
Where am I reading?
You think we're reading there?
We're just reading their names.
These are new people that are on.
Oh, I tell you what, I said,
a co-cologic read that.
I thought he wrote,
you wanted me to read something in Europe.
And he didn't write.
No, we're just reading the names.
What do you mean, Spidey?
Spidey, what?
I don't know.
I gotta get a new friend.
I need somebody to help you.
All right, Hannah, boy.
Yes, yeah, like to surf.
Oh, do you?
Uh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, Bobby, buddy Lee, buddy Lee.
Okay.
Max, Ben, Sam Squire, Tom, oh fuck yourself.
Sean Grant, as in Gary, Nure, you know what?
Look at this.
What a dub beat it.
Just new, new Nerf Funganger.
Oh, new Fung gangster.
Yeah, really because a lot of gangsters,
first names are near Fung.
You fucking idiot, Zog.
You're all bunch of fucking zeros, Joey Watts.
How about you Watts in front of a train, okay?
Brady Rambus.
Daniel, our name in Chris Cole, Joe Higgins,
Anthony, something.
Tim McHugh. McHugh, that's what people say.
McHugh, McHugh, McHugh, Stevie Shredder, Shedder, Stevie Shredder, the
throw that microwave. Stevie Shedder, please. Chris Christian, non-Jew, Mr.
Bakalava
Alex Nathaniel Day look at all this why didn't I stay on fucking on a patreon about him?
Oh, yeah, we blew your so smart. You're good at this
Joe truck truck so and I'm not fucking Shane Gillis of fucking Tim Dylan
No, but you sure alright. We got some fans at a loyal
Thank you very much. Good you you probably make 50,000 extra a month.
A month?
Dude, if I made 50,000 a month, I wouldn't be your friend.
Like, if I, all that, I wouldn't I send a check.
Listen.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I got this.
He always fucking pulls me back in. He pulls me back in. I try to get out and
he's got a good one. Um, stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing
now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber kelly. See you there.
Kelly, I want to thank everybody for coming on.
Micraseen, thanks for being here.
Am I missing something?
What do I gotta do, Nikki?
No, you're good.
I wanna thank Rich Fawas for coming on.
It was a great show.
It's good to see you again, buddy.
You too.
I haven't seen you since, Ganker.
Listen, I'm gonna tell you the truth.
And if this comes between our friendship,
I'll sell it to you.
If this is, it does.
I'm sorry about that.
No, it doesn't.
It literally is coming between us.
No, it isn't.
No, you're bigger than that.
Ask me again.
Yeah, I'm not bigger than that.
You are.
You're a good person.
Probably not talk to you.
Well, how are we going to do a residency?
I'm not, it's kidding.
I'm not doing anything with you.
Let's do it.
I'll tell you.
I'll find some, Mike, you have a kid, right?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, good.
Wanna do a tour together?
Yeah, great.
I got you.
We're good.
Yeah, enjoy your friend watch.
Anyways, Rich Voss, make sure you go check him out.
One of the funniest guys in the business.
Microsine, another funny motherfucker.
Thanks for coming on, guys.
RobertKettleLive.com, go to comicwearables.com,
get all your YKWD gear, like these new hoodies are in,
and you get the pullover, you get the zip down,
you get the hats, the boss shut up,
and the fucking hat is so cool.
I got the hat with the skull.
Oh, that shit is dope, man.
I hate you.
It's fucking dope.
Kids stand up.
I want it.
Fuck rap.
RobertKillerLive.com, go there for all my shit, It's fucking dope. Kids stand up. I want it. Fuck. Ad a wrap.
RobertKillerlive.com go there for all my shit and Patreon.com.
That's Robert Kelly.
Thanks for supporting the channel.
Thanks for supporting me and hit subscribe.
Like, comment and enjoy your weekend.
We'll see you next week.
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