Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rosebud Baker "Donut"

Episode Date: February 12, 2023

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Original. Welcome everybody to the YKWD podcast where we're here live in the comedy seller studios. Above the world famous comedy seller, my guest this week is one of my favorite people in comedy. Let's give it up for Rosebud Baker, everybody. Oh wow, thanks. How was that? One of your favorite people. I mean, we're in show business. I feel like when people are like,

is she funny and you're like, she's nice. She's nice. One of my favorite people, what did you want? I mean, what did you want? I don't know, I'm just turning it into an insult. I don't know how to do it. I was not an insult. One of my favorite people. What did you want? I mean, what did you want? I don't know. I'm just turning it into an insult. I don't know how to. I was not an answer. One of my favorite. Oh, how about this? Let's do it again. Ready? Okay. Hey, what's going on? Everybody? YKWD podcast. Welcome live above the comedy seller at the comedy seller studios. We are here with one of the greatest

motherfucking bitches I've ever met. I mean, I mean. Sorry, okay. Oh, that's too much now. Oh yeah, well, I shouldn't let you do that. Let me try again. No, no, no, don't do this, Bob. Let me try one more time. Hey everybody, welcome to the comedy seller studios above the world famous comedy seller.

You know what, podcast is back. We're here live and I am here with one of the best things I've ever met. That's it. Rosebud Baker. That's it. Yeah, that's it. I mean, you got no umph, do you think? What are you talking about? It's got enough umph. I don't need to add something to Rosebud Baker. I mean, you got to add something to it. Okay, what would you do?

I want to hear it. I want to hear it. It's a fucking, what's your name? Rosebud Baker. No! Can we get me into it? What's your name? I'm not doing this for you.

You do it. What's your name? What's your name? I'm not doing this for you, you do it. What's your name? What's your name? Rosebud Baker. Hey. Hey. Oh God, I hated that. How are you? I hated that.

It felt like a self-help thing. You need self-help. I know. I know. Rosebud. I actually need help outside of myself. What? I need help from someone else.

I'm not qualified to help myself. What's going on with you? Why do you need help? It seems to me, now, it seems to me looking from an outsider's perspective. Right, everything's great. From one of your closest friends in the business. Right.

From probably your third best friend. Yeah. Hahaha. Third. Yeah, all right. Between three and 16. Okay. Is that fair? Is that fair?

Yeah, that's accurate. It seems like you're doing great. You're a writer on SNL, which is amazing. Right. You are young enough. Enough. Enough. You're young enough. You have a beautiful husband. Yeah. You have a nice

relationship that you're, you know, you're doing good with. Yeah. You have a nice apartment. You're looking for a home. Right. You make, you're making a little money. Everything's great. Yeah. So what, so what do I need? You look good in green, which is hard. I Mean, that's a hard thing to pull off. Grunt. Listen to me. And that's not just that that's Kelly green. I'm Kelly and I can't wear Kelly green. Okay. Well, thank you Yeah, for all of that. Yeah, and you're right and I don't There is no real issue, you know, this is why I go, I don't know, every time I check into therapy, every week I go,

I don't know why I'm bitching to you. I don't know what I'm, what I'm bitching about. Everything's great. This is everything I wanted in my life. So I'm, but nothing, but I am, I've never tired all the time because I'm running on adrenaline most of the day. So that's like an issue.

You know, I get sick every time I stop working, my whole body collapses. That's another thing that's been happening. What kind of white girl disease is that? I don't fucking know. That's like pilgrims. I never used to get sick. I would get sick once every seven years, probably.

And now I get sick like a, like, like, did you get the vaccine? Get the vaccine? Yeah. Did you get the booster? No. But it's not always COVID. There you go.

I have had COVID a lot of times, but it's not always COVID. No, I don't know. I have no idea. I think I'm the only contact that's had COVID as many times as Mark Norman. I've had AIDS as many times as much. I've had AIDS as many times as much. Hahaha. Six times. Yes.

I'll actually not six. I did five. Oh, Mark Norman in the 80s would definitely have AIDS. He'd be dead. Oh, he'd be fucking dead. We would have the first ones to go. He would have been exactly. They would have a movie about him.

Yeah. Yeah. He would have been, and then we were like, is Mark gay? They would have been, like, at the beginning when it was just a movie about him. Yeah. Yeah. He would have been, and then we were like, is Mark Gay? They would have been like at the beginning when it was just gay guys getting AIDS. Yeah. He would have been like, Mark was gay. How do you know he got AIDS?

He got AIDS. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he just, you put him dying under a piano track. Yeah. And you got like a Philadelphia story too, or whatever. Yeah.

They would, I could definitely see him in a Navy outfit. Yeah. Yeah, his dress whites at a at a at a party. Hey, it's comedy. I'm second dick. I don't know. He lives. He lives to sleeve up and he's got one of those little lesions. Yeah. He's got lesions. Yeah. He's got one. He's crazy. I remember like seeing movies where like those would appear. What do you mean? Growing up, I remember watching movies where you'd see the AIDS lesions. Like real time. As a kid and being like holy shit.

In the movie, see a background dance. I just go to fucking lesion pop on his head. Like part of the movie. Okay. And then going to school on Monday and being afraid to use like the fucking watering fountain. Yeah. Cause nobody because they were so weird about it. They did because you didn't know how you got it. Exactly. Yeah. And AIDS, AIDS when that came out, it was brutal. Yeah. Cause it's not only you're going to die, you're going to get a pot belly.

You're going to get a. You're, your knuckles are gonna swell and you're gonna get lesions which is just yeah everybody looked like fucking Frodo. You still have six months left and you look like. Yeah. Yeah. It's like god damn it. Yeah. God damn it. Yeah. Age was a mother fuck.

Was that you guys or was that Liz? Okay. That's them. All right. Now what do you for you? Who you attacked? No. You hear a noise like I said that you guys or was that Liz? Okay. That's them. All right. Who were you attacked? No. You hear a noise, you're like, is that you guys or is that Liz?

No, just, I know, I'm just checking. All right, check of what? Just checking the fucking surroundings. What, what are you? Fuck it. I mean, here's the thing. Here's the thing, when you called and you were like, oh, Keith can't make it.

I was like, damn, I'm gonna have to be fast. Why? Because Keith is fat. You guys will go, I'm not that Keith is fast, but you know. Keith is just taxing least slow. Lowest possible. Yeah.

But I haven't felt like being on lately. Do you know what I mean? I hear you. I'm not in the, I don't feel on very much lately. Here's what it feels like. I go through that. I go through that. Right? Yeah, I go through that. I go through that. Right.

Yeah, I go through that. You feel like comedy is like when you're fucking somebody and it's really good for a long time. And then I've never had that. And then I really fucked twice. And then I was like, then I could smell their body odor. Okay, well imagine imagine you had a dirty bitch. Imagine you had though.

And then you know, at a certain point you go like, should we like talk to each other, like get to know each other? That's like how I feel in comedy right now. Well, I mean, you can have those moments. Yeah. But usually when you see each other at a club or on a podcast, it's time to turn it on.

Yeah, you go and just. Not turn it on like, wow, hey, wow, you can do that. You know, just, you know, I mean, I had to learn to do that in the last year because I started doing podcasts. Right. But I was watching guys that go on, like, bird is always on fire. You're always so on fire. Andrew Schultz.

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of guys, Chrissy, these guys are on fire Yannis, you know, Tim, I'm like, wow, what I do, is I go on these shows and I kind of let my day or mood dictate their performance. And I was like, I don't do that with standup. Why would I do that with a podcast? You don't do that with standup? No, standup, let's go.

I want fucking go. I want to go out there, no matter what my day was, and how fucked up it was, or what bullshit, or how many people, I'm going out there. What's up, motherfucker? Let's do this. Let's have fun. Right.

Let's, I'm performing. It's my fucking job. I am not letting you down because of whatever mood or shit I'm in. Right. And I was like, why do I do that with podcasts? I'm like, I should go in and for an hour or two, have as much fun as I can have with that person.

Right. Right? Just be free, loose, who cares, say what you want and have a good time and translate that through that. And that way when you go out, you're like, oh, fuck, that one's suck. Right, yeah. I mean, some of them are going to suck anyway.

It's like, I've sucked them, even when I was trying, I've sucked. But I've been there as one I'm saying. You just like, fuck them out. And that's when I stay away. I'm not here being like, oh, I just don't, I don't feel like being here. I mean, you kind of, you're kind of saying, no, that's not what I'm saying. I mean, you're saying you don't want to be without Keith, which is fucked up. No, that's not. I'm your 16th desperate, you're saying you don't want to be without Keith, which is fucked up. No, that's not.

I'm your 16th best friend. Wouldn't be when we talked on the phone. Yes. And I told you you were my 13th best friend. Am I 13th? I was lying, but I didn't, I was saying I wanted to be here. You did, which shocked me. Really?

Yeah, because I called you up. I was a K, Keith canceled, and in my brain, most comedians would be like, all right, dude, well, okay, Keith canceled. And in my brain, most comedians were like, all right, dude, well, okay, that we'll do it another time. Because you had an out, but you were like, cool. And I was excited. You got me whipped up.

I was like, yeah, let's do it. All right. I'm fucking doing me and Rose, but hanging out, we're gonna talk some shift for a while. Yeah. But I did. I wanted to be here. I did.

I get into those moods too, but you know what I do? I kind of stay away. Where I go away. Right. Yeah, I you know what I do? I kind of stay away or I go away. Right. Yeah, I think that you, I, I want to say this. I can't be around comedy. When you're not in the mood to do it. All the time.

Look, I was at a comedy club seven nights a week. Yeah. Four years. Right. I was at the seller seven nights a week for years, or at another club. I never took a night off. You all were. I feel like that's what you do in the beginning anyway.

Right. And now I fucking stay away. Yeah. Usually Mondays and Sundays, I'm not, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm living a square life. You're really good about that. You'll take like, like conscious time off. Even before the pandemic, I remember you saying like you take, you

would take a month off a year. I take the summer off. Right. I take the summer off. I take June and August, July and August off. Now, I'm going to try, I'm doing it this summer. Yeah. Fuck it. Smart. Because I'll come back swinging. Right. You ain't, you think I, you, I think I'm getting out and I'll out and you come in and I'll come back. I'll go up last and I'll fucking smoke that crowd. Yeah. I'll smoke them. I feel like I'm on fire when I take a, a, a mid off like a couple weeks off. Sure. And then I come back. And I feel like, you know, stand up as like something I get to do again, rather than something I have to do that night. Yeah, there's certain comics that are just fucking crazy.

It's just comedy. That was like a young man's game for me. 20s, early 30s. I had nothing, but then you build the life, and you all the stuff you want to comedy to give you gives it to you. Yeah. And then you want to enjoy it.

Right. And then you feel guilty for enjoying it. It's like, no, you stupid. Yeah. I think that's kind of when you were asking what the fuck is wrong with me. I was like, oh, I think that's really what it is. I got the life that I wanted out of comedy.

I mean, I'm doing great, you know? And it's just, so then you go well, what what is there to like chase after X? Yeah, because you're a fucking dirty addict. Because I'm a dirty drug addict alcohol. I mean, it's fucking and I know it's just you're a fucking dirty addict and you want we don't chase serenity. We chase adrenaline. We chase We don't chase serenity, we chase adrenaline, we chase holy shit. Right. And comedy gives us that.

Going to shows that we've, I gotta show Thursday for audience, I gotta fuck. Right. That freaks us out for months. Yeah. I gotta get on the plane. I gotta all that fucking,

I think you get to the hotel and you check, and then you wake up and they go to the gig and you look around and then they go, you ladies and gentlemen, give it up. For a, you're like, come on, what's up? And you do it and you're fucking bad. And they're like, good night. And then you go back to the green wool and they go, all right, next show starts in an hour. You're like, what?

I got to do it again. And then the next day and the next day. And then you come home to your family. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. Yeah, hi. Yeah, miss you. Can you take the dog out?

Yeah, oh, she pittled over. Okay, I'll get it. Right. Yeah. What's up, there she is. Liz. Liz. Liz.

Liz. Liz, my pussy, so big, get this. I know you have a tight little Italian vagina. You have a tight little of a, I want to get your vagina one of those hoodies in the same color. You know what I came up with? What? Ball beanies.

Keep your balls warm. Yeah. Don't think you that. Like a ball hat. Are we going back to our old home? What happened? Are you guys pan happened? I got Panicking I Got two fucking hot just the kid staring at a screen. It does seem oh they fucking it's they weird me out They fucked up something. I'm something fuck up just say what happened just say it

Well, here's a problem with their fucking heads and faces They always look like something like the fucking aliens like they're going to rip it off me like hi Bobby. Yeah, yeah, we are big fans. Yeah, from Neptune. They got to get I'll I'm from Kremlin on talk sky. You know, so you could just keep it cool from here up. Uh, also waking me out that mozzarella is sitting in the hallway like he's not even in the room. Yeah, mozzarella. Why don't you come over here? Why is he so far away? Where the mozzarella come from? Because he has a cheese show. Nobody saws cheese show.

I think the cheese show is becoming more popular. Am I correct, Joe? mozzarella has a podcast about cheese. mozzarella has a podcast about cheese. Here, Joe. Talkin' to that. It is not becoming more popular. Oh wow, that's my hair.

I made me shit my pants. That hurt so bad. That made me, that's what I'm saying. I made me shit my pants. That hurt so bad. That made me, that literally made my stomach upset. That was upsetting. That was upsetting. I really gave me diarrhea. Yeah, felt like he was saying that in a room alone by himself. Yeah.

My Lord, no, it has not become more popular. It has not become more popular. I wonder why. Hey, do you like Bri? I have a shop chatter for your age. I wonder why do you like free I have a shop chatter for your age. You're gonna make me say my name with more enthusiasm Yeah, you stuff of that. Oh, yeah, fuck it. She can't even say what's your name? It's Rosebud Baker Not there why it's not it weird anger. It's not it was no It's Rosebud Baker bitch. That was just more angry. Yeah, but it was real.

It comes from a piece about real. I know you can't move your face. It's just, it's so, yeah. Just from here up. I just, just from here up. And it's wearing off. How does the Andy know in New York? It's time.

How does Andy know we're excited about sex? He doesn't, and that's the idea. Yeah, so ball hats. Are we starting with your long balls again? Are your balls getting cold? I have big balls. The last time I was here, we were talking about Bobby's big balls. Big balls.

Do they hit the toilet water? No, I've peed on them though. I have peed on them. Yeah, weird thing. How? My shtemankia had a little goof in it, and it was hanging down. So here's my balls, right?

Here's my balls. Let me show this. Here's my balls. Right. Look at how I do this. We got it. I got it. I don't.

Here's my balls. And how do I do that? My shtemankia. Here's my balls. So much shtemankia was hanging down. I had a little stink, right? So my balls are here, my dick is here, had a little hang to it.

I started peeing when I was pooping. I didn't know I was gonna pee and it hit my ball. And there was a little looping it. And it shot up and shot out of the bathroom and went on the glass of the shower. That's fucking disgusting. And I was so, I was so fucking amazed. I called my wife in. I was like, I should like, wife in I was like I should like what I like

I just pissed to my balls and it shot into the shower glass and she went Clean it up you disgusting pig She was not oh that's disgusting. It is disgusting, but it is amazing. It's amazing. Oh fuck you by the way Why fuck you why fuck you for what? What happened for what happened all of a sudden? Oh, fuck you, by the way. Why? Fuck you. Why? Fuck you. For what? What happened? For what happened all of a sudden? Fuck you.

For what happened? You almost, thank God I have instincts. Can I have a napkin, please? What happened? Oh, I got one. Thank you, anyways. I have instincts. Liz, I have instincts.

And you know what I'm going? 2003. He's losing. I'm going on my instincts. Liz, my instincts. Okay.. And you know what, I'm going 2003. He's losing it. I'm going on my instincts. Liz, my instincts. Oh, fuck it. You know what, before Liz got here, I was like, maybe I'm not on enough.

And then I, now I'm realizing there's someone else to witness, I'm like, oh, he's like losing it. No, I'm not losing it. You're a little all over the place. No, it will all make sense. I'm slow drawing it right now. All right. Cause we're on a podcast.

This is slow. It's not slow. Okay. It's perfect. Great. I will say it one more time. Fuck you. Why did I miss?

I don't know. Well, here it comes. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm here on Friday night, doing my little spots. The last spot was a little rough to it.

You almost caught it. Oh, no. Oh, god, no. But I pulled out, I always pulled the nose out. Ah! Ah! Damn it. And then I landed it in.

I had to follow fucking two strokes Robinson. Yeah, he's down. Oh, oh, oh. He's doing it. And then Fadi Bumble, Addy goes up. I lost late. It's not too strong, but it's just the same. Yeah.

Anyways, I go up after Sam J is there. And Keith is there. Because after 1030 at the seller, it turns into deaf comedy jam upstairs on Friday night. Surround sound. And Rose Buds there, right? Who I consider black. And she was nominated.

She was. This is not a trick. Well, she's nominated for. Liz fucking, this is a separate story, but. What is it? Liz, so when I was writing for Chase show, and we got nominated for some dumb award that like nobody knows about,

it was called like the Black Real Awards. Yeah, yeah. And Shay called Liz and was like, can you put the Black Real nominee? What was it? I don't know, it's like Black Real Television, La Blanc, and he was like, can you add that to Rosebud's credit? And I didn't notice for like, and I was like, can you add that to Rosebud's credits?

And I didn't notice for like, and I was like, oh, I'll do you one better. That'll be her only credit. Yeah. And I didn't fucking notice. On my dumbass, didn't have looked at my own fucking credits in, oh yeah, there it is. There it is.

And it was two years ago, I'm not on there anymore. She didn't make the nom. Yeah, we didn't make it. It is on my IMDB, but I was like, it was like, I think it was like two or three months before I fucking noticed it. And the second I saw it, I knew it was Liz and Che. I was like, I know exactly who did this to make. I was fucking assholes.

Well, fuck you. All right, so go on. We're back. Go on. So I go upstairs and I say, fuck you. All right, so go on. We're back. Go on. So I go up stairs and I say, hey, listen, girls, I'm having a little festival that my home. Oh, yeah. Max is going away for the first New Year's.

Me and Donna gonna be home alone. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I need a little, I need a little advice from you, you two belly button flickers. Cause I know that Sam J and Rosebud, especially Rosebud is a bean flicker. You know what I mean? Okay.

Little fucking. Yeah, on the road. So like on the road. I wanna get a toy. I wanna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the road. So like on the road. So I'm like, I wanna get a toy. I wanna, I wanna surprise, I wanna get a toy. Like, well, I have sex in one kid, but the boom bag, but I wanna make, I wanna have her have some fun.

Right, that's nice of you. So I says, tell me which one to get. So they're like, so they bring up this, the rose. Yeah, look at her face. We bring it up. He's, okay. I'm curious. He's got it.

Yeah, because, he knows how it brings things work. He knows how it brings things work. Because I wanted to say, I, Rosebud vibrator. I had never heard of this before. Sam brought this up. Yeah, the one over to the, yeah. The second rose, second one.

But it's a clip, it's a clip sucker. Make that big. Yeah, that's what they call it. They, it's a clip sucker. Make that big. Yeah, that's what they call it. Fucking Andy, isn't that his nickname? Clipsucker? Clipsucker, that's what we all do. Yeah.

Yo, it's Andy Clipsucker. Heard. Sucking vibrator, Clipsucker, dildo, women, geez. It's Matt. All right, first of all, I got, I'm gonna say this right now, I got rubbed. Why, I got rubbed.

Why? I got fucking, because it's $19 on my head. I paid 50 bucks. Holy shit. And they were like, we're gonna give you 50% off. They were gonna charge me a hundred. They gave me 50. They pulled the old, oh man,

so you don't buy vibrators at the store. No, online. God, damn it. Yeah. $50. And they kept changing the price, because I was changing Dildos. Did you buy it at the place on?

No, I bought it near my house. Uh-huh. If you drive down the street and you're going on the highway and you're going on 287, right. Right to the right. There's a romantic dildostore. And then a very romantic dildostore. A romantic dildostore and then a kid's barking.

Bucking nuts. Going out of the highway. That's all the highway. Dildost swings. Well, that's how you keep the pedophiles away from the fucking playground. Yeah, it's like a net, like a pedophile net. Yeah. It's like a sticky trap for pedophiles. Right. So I went in there with the information that these women gave me, especially Rosebud. Well, okay. Let's be fair.

Was it really especially me? I can't remember. It was, it was on, it was mostly Sam. Okay, but you were backing it up. I was backing it up, yeah. So, actually, Clint, you put it on the nipple. I was backing it up because she's, she's a fucking, I mean, she would know.

She eats pussy, she would know. You would really know. You've never eaten pussy. I mean, in college, yeah. I love that college somehow nullifies it. Yeah, I suck dick in college. We're partying, whatever. Yeah, fun. Yeah. I suck dick in college. We're partying, whatever. Yeah, fun.

Yeah. I suck dick at a bachelor party, yeah. Of course I did. But I'm saying not everybody sucks a cock at a bachelor party. I didn't need pussy enough to get good at it. Nobody has. Right, so.

Nobody has. I bet you Sam. I bet you Sam is. I'm seeding up. You know why you don't get good at it? Can I tell you from my perspective as a man who's eating way more pussy than both of you? I mean, yeah, because bitches are crazy.

No, because every pussy is way different. Wild living, yeah. Yeah, way different. So you have to learn, it's like, imagine getting a job cleaning the streets. Right. And every day you went down and they changed how you clean the streets.

Like sometimes the dirt was in the gutter, sometimes the dirt was in the middle street. Sometimes this dirt in the gutter is not the best. I mean, no, it's pretty good though. I think, you know, you're speaking to your fans. I think they get it. Dirt in the gutter. Yeah.

That's the name of my fans. Dirt in the gutter fans. So I go, I, and you walk into this place. I mean, they're fucking, hey, what's got two young girls, black Spanish. How you doing, welcome. They know how to get sucka Bob. Yeah, they do. Cause Bob lost a little weight.

This one's my favorite. I think this last night, no, my God, you like it. I like it too. We should probably get this one and you should get out. That's like what happens when I walk into it. They don't even know. That's what happens when I go walk into a fucking ace hardware. They go you want to drill? They go this dumb bitch and they just start throwing shit at me

And I'll be like yeah, I guess I'm gonna pay for whatever you're gonna get that you'll you should also get this one I know a new man of drill might help you out in this situation. Yep. You think so. Okay. I was a dumb bitch. I'm the dumb bitch. Yeah I mean I'm the dumb bitch. Yeah. I mean, I'm the dumbest bitch. But thank God I had instincts. And I know 20 years with the same Vajaggio with the same stink wrinkle. Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry.

Is that bad? Oh, no. No, that's not a good one. Brutal. That was. Fellas. I mean, almost, I'm not going to say it was bad. It was like Shakespearean.

Oh my lord. But it was. All right. Let's roll. Let's not paying attention. All right. All right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Stankable. Stankable. All right. Whatever. I'll come up with another name. All right. I'm not saying to you.

I'm just, I was just a reaction. Ooh, that got me. How about Pimento Loaf? That's better. That better? Yeah, definitely. Okay. It's got a cute. So I know her.

So at the last minute, I pull a fucking audible. Mm-hmm. And I go, how much for that one? And like, oh, if you get that one, it's 100 something dollars, but we'll give you 60% of that. We'll give you 50% of that. And blood. I mean, but we'll give you a 60% off of that, we'll give you a 50% off of that. And I mean, I got rubs. They sold it.

Fuck me, dude. Good for you. Type in purple vibrated with remote. Purple little, purple little vibrated with remote. I wanna see how much this cost. They charged me a hundred bucks for this thing. They said it was 130. Was it the rabbit?

I don't know, but they stick these stickers on. Like they used to do with leather jackets down here. Oh, they're like not. It's a 70% off leather jacket you walk in. Give me one and they were like $10,000. It was $50,000. Yeah, yeah. They just jack up the price.

All right, no, no, okay. Go down, scroll, no, no, no, no, no. Do you type in little? Scroll down, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Scroll down, keep going, purple. Okay, to the left, how much is that? To the second row down, to the left, right there, how much is that? All right, I didn't get ripped off that bad. That's the one I got.

That's exactly what I got. I paid $100, motherfucker. They saw a succul or a mile away. It's like, I bought a lickseroff of fucking horse truck. Well, I mean, did it work? This vibrato will heal any clitoris. Make any girl come. Big, little, little, fat labia, fat wing labia. Whatever you got, looks like a hamburger hot dog. Whatever you got down there, you put this little vibrator on there and purples the favorite color Did you know purple heels vagina clitoris is not only does it help or come it will help the pussy heel if she's got Warts if she's got genital warts if she's got crabs it will take care of them all come on now buy yourself one I'll give you a two for seven thousand dollars

Old Bobby Kelly fuck I, let me say something! ¡Dienes que he hecho con tu gente que me ha hecho de ti! Y esa cosa es... ¡¿Qué? ¿Qué? ¿Qué? ¿Tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno? Esta es la tres por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del tres por uno en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. 1, 3x1, 3x1 This is the 3x1 signal that means you can already take advantage of the 3x1 in half you're only asking for the online file

Is it ready? 3x1, 3x1 Ah no no no Dominos! Pizza! Number one, it's a rose Huh? So, visually, that's like making your girl come with a donut

I don't want a fucking thing that's something else. You know what I'm saying? Hey, I got a dog head. It's called the dog head. It's a little pug face. No, that's a different thing. It's like, it's an enabiot object. The kitten.

Okay. It's got an animal. All right. You didn't have a picture of Max's face on her. Oh my God. Just, it's a fucking rose. Wow. of Max's face on I just I'm fucking rose. Wow. It's not a big deal. I'm gonna have to cut that out. I don't cut anything on the shoulders. I mean, he is fucking. Oh look, they don't. Yeah, I'm not fucking using that.

I'm not using it. But you'll, but you will use a flashlight. No, I will not. I use the flashlight once and I came in it and then I had to clean it and it took seven weeks. I wound up cutting it with a knife and throwing it out. I let it dry in the sun for three days. But that's so my God. I was disgusting. My neighbor's thought. My neighbor's thought I killed a shark. It's like your shit. You got an infection. Oh, fucking stigs. There's no hole at the got an infection. Oh. It's something. Fucking stigs. There's no hole at the bottom. You have to take the vagina out of it, it's a cup.

And it makes the same sound as if you are cutting a real vagina out of a hooker. You're... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Gross. Oh, it's so fucking nasty. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh,. So you put the little juice in it. And first of all, they told me to get the wrong juice. Faster.

We didn't. The girls did. Now, they told me to get the right one. You need certain juice for these little rub. We didn't tell you to get any juice for it. No juice and no toy cleaner, by the way. I was just putting the dishwasher. I have a nine year old.

He was away. He was coming back. We're gonna forget it. You can't wash his dishes with food. Yeah. He can't. Hey dad, why does my school bedo come smell like cunt? Oh.

Oh. Oh my god. Well, son, let me tell you. Oh no. I got this new device. It cleans the junk. I'm gonna pass it down to you. Take this shopping and rub it on your mom's pussy.

Watch this. Look at that. It's already gone, son. Listen, so it's got the ridges on the top, so you pour the stuff in it. You can't clean it. You need to, you need to toothbrush to clean this fucking thing.

Bleh. That's gross. It's gross. I don't think you need a toothbrush if you clean it right afterwards. Yeah, but how do you get into the nooks and crannies? It's like a fucking Thomas's English muffin. It's gonna spawn.

Yeah. Oh yeah, I carry a sponge around. You know the spray thing on the sink and you know like the spray, like, yeah, that. You spray it in there, but then you, you got to get into the nuggets because the oil gets in the nuggets. It's not oil. No one is coming oil. No, first of all. First of all, It's not oil. No one is coming oil. No, first of all, first of all,

the juice, the, you got the, you can't put, this is what you forgot to tell me to you, fucking, how much do you put in? You fucking asshole. You piece of shit. You forgot to tell me you need lube. I would have lit my wife's vagina on fire. They didn't tell me I need lube?

They got for these hustlers. I must assume you guys have been married for 15 years. I'm assuming you got lube on a gallon container. Yeah. No, the keyword is married for fucking 15 years. There's no, we don't even have, we have ranch dressing in a gallon. We don't have lube.

What are you fucking nights? Loob. I think you got loob every time you fuck. No. I got nacho cheese on a push thing. No way. Okay. You think I go to Sam's club?

Hey, you get wet and slide. If I had explained that to you, if I'm like, okay, let's put ourselves back in the, in at the table. Okay. All right, I'm there. Let's go back. Wait. Okay. table. Okay. All right, I'm there.

Let's go back. Wait, okay, action. Okay, Bobby, you got to get this toy. Yeah, okay, what is it called? Oh, and it's called the Rosebud Baker. Don't, and don't forget to get Lou. Okay, why Lou, why don't you get Lou? You wouldn't have said that.

You wouldn't have been like, I know to get fucking Lou. What do you think I'm a fucking boy? This is why you have issues with men. No, this is why you don't, you understand yourself. I came to you, vulnerable at the table, asking for help. I'm a 50-till-year-of-man, and I went to you in Sanjay to help me with this situation.

Why would I turn on you? You say, I came to you. I was vulnerable. I was a little fucking weak deer in the woods, wobbling. What do I do with my wife's premenopause vagina? You've never been about weak deer in the woods a day in your life. That is not who you are. I don't know who you're remembering yourself to be. I'm very vulnerable.

But that was not very vulnerable. You were not very vulnerable. I was very vulnerable. You were everything that we suggest you were going, well, I don't, that's not gonna work because, listen, I've been married for 15 years and blah, blah, blah, blah. So it's, I hate your impression. It's not.

I, you don't fucking know. I just said I hate it. I don't even do one. Listen, dude. I don't wanna, don't give me any fucking recommendations for for some fucking 30-year-old pussy. I need a 52-year-old pussy toy. Oh, my God, please. Put my hat on.

Okay. Hold on a second. Oh, God. Okay. It's I got a wife from Boston. All right, she's not, if I bring home a fucking rose, she's gonna spit in my face and call me a faggot, all right? Don't fucking, don't fucking. Okay, that's Bobbi. Okay, fine, I'm gonna pass, I'm gonna let the loob slide.

Okay, I'm gonna let the loob slide. But here's the thing, you need loob. You do. Oh yeah, so if I was a cake, can you help me, I think I might get a Kia. You have a Kia, wouldn't you be like, okay, make sure you get gas, cause these things need gas.

No, not to a 52 year old man. So anyways, I'm gonna look at the loop slide. So they tell me I need loop. Then they tell me I need toy cleaner. Okay. I'm gonna look at that slide too. That feels like an upside. That 100% feels like an upside.

You can do maxes toys too. I actually clean some of his legals. Oh my God, get it right now. You talk to me about the dishwasher and then you're cleaning back. It's a spray bottle. Oh my bottle. Max is sitting in his room spraying all of his toys. I cleaned my keyboard off in the office. It works on anything. It's a cleaner. It's not just

dick cleaners. It's not just a vibrator. Oh Lord of mercy. So the rose stinks. And here's another reason why it stinks. It makes gross sounds. Oh, it does. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess it's like a aquarium sounds.

Mm-hmm. Not even like vibrator sounds, but like. It's gross. And then I said, cause I, you know, I told you, my wife's from Everett, Massachusetts. Yeah. You can put this on your nipple down. Don't touch my nipples. That does nothing for me.

Yeah. She's like, she's like fucking Bruce Willis. Don't touch my nipples. It does nothing for me. So, so, so, so, I, I'm down there for a couple of minutes and I, it's not working. Okay. She's over it.

She's like, you know, and look at I'm taking a risk. Yeah. I'm doing a, I went for your help. Yeah, I know. And you sent me down into the fucking, the trenches with a gun that doesn't work. I should have said what I thought, which was I don't think you need to be bringing home a toy.

Cause here's the thing, if somebody bring, if Andy brought home a toy, I'd be like, oh my God, I got to like pretend. Yeah. Well, here's where my instincts knowing my wife, I bought that purple one, the little boom. Cause I know what she likes. The last time I used one, Hawaii, Maui, during the day.

How long goes was that? 2009. Yeah, but you know what? I remember at a little tiny silver bullet that my mom took. What? She's stoles. She's sticking out of my pocket.

They even know. Years later, she's like, where did you get that little thing? I'm like, what? That little silver bullet you had in your pocket. Why did you have it in your pocket? Because I was carrying around. I was using it on my wife every once in a while.

You said the last time you used it was 2009 in Hawaii. Yeah, and then my mom took it in 2011. You just for two years just had it in your pocket. Yeah, we chavaly threw it into my bag. Okay. And then I had my pocket one day. It was a key chain one. That's weird.

How are we gonna do? Okay. Okay. Oh God. I don't know what to have. That's weird. I will. Okay. Oh God. I don't know what that is. So she didn't like it. So, but I got the other one and thank God I pulled that out and I knew I found the, you know what to do with it.

Well, this is what you're going to do, fellas. This is what you're going to do. You put it down and then you see this, ready? Like that. And then her vagina will fucking shut down. It's like, it's like a, it's like, it's like, it's like, and then her nipples go ting and you just, you go like this. Hold your breath. But he stopped. Sorry. That was fucking serious. I went for so long.

Just this. If we hadn't said anything, it would still be going that. It would have passed out. I would have passed out. Oh my god. So anyways. I was going to shut up and open the past out.

It just like, all right. Well, we wound up having a great night. I'm glad. I'm glad. Great everything. Yeah. I said this on the, I do a YK2B extra. I said this, I believe, no, I said this on Catherine Kelly. My wife was so smart because the whole night was planned out.

She went to the food to supermarket dinner. We have a hot chicken. You ever have hot chicken? You get butter, put it in a pan, a lot of it. Then you put cut up chicken, you brown it, and then you put Frank's red hot sauce in it. Oh, okay, okay. Over white rice, it's so good.

She's going to buy that. I went to the Dildo store, the, you know. Right. The cox, the romantic Dildo store. The romantic Dildo store. Right by the swings. By the swings, by the playground. And by 27.

Right, right. People listen to this, but I got out of the highway. I spun a wheel, you spilled a Dildo, you spilled a Dic wheel on the one. I want a cock ring and I want it you win stuff What else do you get I got a little tiny dough that you want it? Yeah, I'll bring it in next week tomorrow I'll bring it in tomorrow he comes back tomorrow. He's like my mom took You want the Rose because I got to get rid of that. No, I don't want to use Rose. What's wrong with you? You're washing? Give it to Sam. It was slightly used

Because slightly you yeah, I mean if I was selling it on eBay it'd be great Rose what's wrong with you? You're washing. Give it to Sam. It was slightly used. It was slightly used. Yeah, I mean, if I'm selling it on eBay, it'd be great compression. It's hard. Give it to Sam. Oh yeah. Samo. Jay.

Sam doesn't want it. Anyways, I have it. I don't know what to do. I'll give it. You don't want it. No, I don't want it. You told us it sucked. Yeah.

And you fucking said you. Oh my god. I've never said I used it. You lied to me. I never said I used it. You lied to me. I never said I used it. You lied. That's 100% not. You lied.

No, I didn't see. No, you heard something that I didn't say. This bitch is. Oh my God. This bitch is, she's corporate fucking rose butt. She's corporate rose butt. I never, I never, I never fucking said I used it. Oh my God.

She's double talk. No, no. But you didn't say you didn't. You're, but you didn't say you didn't you're crazy You didn't say you didn't you're losing now. I'm this is she say oh my god She's a little bit. She's a bad one. I'm gaslight You're losing your mind I mean you you said it was good. I didn't say that though. Oh Liz, Liz, Liz is... I said, listen, if the dyke next to me likes it,

you should buy it. And she would know. The dyke. Yeah, Sam Jay. Big dyke. All right, well, it was terrible, but this white daughter is so smart. She goes, I'm coming home.

I'm like, all right, great, we're gonna eat. Then we'll have sex on the watch TV. She's like, we should have sex for us. I'm like, all right, great. We're gonna eat. Then we'll have sex on watch TV. She's like, we should have sex for us. I'm like it's seven, 15. The sun just went down. She goes, let's we should listen. She knows you, Bob. We're gonna eat, we're gonna be exited. We're gonna, you know, someone's gonna start toot and it's not gonna be right. She's so right. We went and had sex at like 720.

We were done by 726. Oh, big night in the Kelly house. Then we cooked, I'm smelling cake. Am I dying? Just stupid thing. I hate you. I'm dear you. I thought I was having a stroke.

Fuck. God, fucking just scared the shit out of me. Smiling cake. Fuck. I'm like I scared the shit out of me. Smelling cake. I'm like, I'm dying, this is it. Old fat tit is going out, smelling cake. You held your breath too long. Wow. I'm smelling cake in my die.

I'm just fucking glazing. I'm so sorry, I'm feeling you've died. I might actually laugh. This would really go viral. I would hate myself for the rest of my life, but I would laugh. I'd laugh if you died. I would laugh if you died. I would laugh if you died. I would laugh if you died. I would'm feeling you died, I might actually laugh. This would really go viral. I would hate myself for the rest of my life, but I would laugh.

I would laugh if you died. Right, we would be like, oh no, it would take us a minute to react. I'm most sorry. You guys are moving from the window. And I would be dying laughing for like a minute. You wouldn't have flowers on my cashew with these little rose bells.

Rose dildos on my face. Just a butcher, just be throwing them in my I would start a petition to put that quote on your tombstone He smelled cake and then he died Robert Kelly Yeah Sorry, right after we ate I was on the couch just toot my face off.

Oh, I was so good. Yeah, that's great. That's a good night. It was a great, what'd you do new years? You worked, didn't you? No, I came here and there was so many balloons I decided to believe. Yeah, it was a lot.

It really is a lot. What the fuck? Dude, you don't know what I did. Why? There was so many balloons that I was like this is I can't be around I'm so many balloons. I gotta go home and watch I was stressful I watched barbarian on the couch. You weren't here. You don't even know somebody sent me a photo and I went Oh my god. Yeah, like I was shocked. Yeah, why?

Festive you go listen, it looked great if you were in the mood was it gold no gold is the village underground Which no him says is quote to classy? Whatever and then Pinyata what what like rainbow Singolio is is everywhere else how many shows were sold out all of them how many shows Two four six eight. We only do eight shows Wow, and then New Year's. How was it? Insane. Why? 16 shows because we had brunch as well. Who was hosting?

brunch. No, then the New Year's shows in the comedy seller. It was John Laster in the bar It was Will Solvance in the lounge. It was a rubare in the village underground. It was my yard Wow, they rang in the New Year's in that's how they the New, it was a ruby ray in the village underground. It was my yard. They rang in the New Year's. And that's how the New Year's was rung in. Wow. I mean, I remember hosting, and it was just the comedy spot, two shows. Yeah.

How was it? It's a little fucking stressful coordinating for countdowns all at the same, like, you don't know where to go, what to do. It's a lot. It's gotta be crazy. I'm happy it's done. I'm seeing it.

But I know I'm officially old, because I didn't give one fuck about New Year's Day. Oh yeah, I mean, I have never done. I was like, I was like, I was like, all right, well, okay, it's 12.03,

I gotta do inventory, I gotta count this, I gotta do this, it's past, you know, let's go on. I was asleep, but I was asleep like 12 seconds before midnight. John, what we are.

I think I was here and then Amina was here and both of us looked around and we went, I don't wanna be here and I was like, you wanna go watch a movie? Because Andy was at Gotham and so we went home, watch a movie, Amina fell asleep on my couch and I was like, get up and she was like, Uber's too expensive, I'm sleeping over,

I was like, you're not sleeping over, I fucking paid for an Uberber and kicked around the way. You did? You're nice. Why did you kick her out? New Year's Eve Uber. I was like, I don't want somebody in my house. I don't want.

That is a fucking. Dude, that's listen, you know what a New Year's Eve Uber is? A married woman, I don't want to have a sleep over her. That's like $400. That's an expensive fuck uber. Can you not say it like I fucking sexually assaulted you? No, I'm saying.

It wasn't like that. I'm a married woman. I don't want somebody at my house. I'm saying I'm an adult. I don't wanna have sleep over. Well, say it like that, dude. That's what I'm saying. Well, you talked to me like a merchant marine.

I don't like it. I don't know how you made that about you. It was about Amina. I fucking mean it. Wow. How much was it? 200? No, it was about Amina. I fuck Amina. Oh. How much was it? 200? No, it was like 60 bucks.

That's not fair. That is nothing. That's nothing to get somebody out of my house. Yeah, that's where it is. So when did any come home? Andy came home like right before Amina passed out. Oh really? Yeah.

Andy came home. Amina was so upset because she doesn't like scary movies. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna watch the Little Mermaid. I'm gonna watch, I wanna watch something that is terrifying. Smile. And then I watched that. I saw that.

Was it good? Oh my god, it's so good. Oh, it's fucking freaking good. I haven't seen it. It's good. Is it scary though? Yeah, it's disturbing as fuck. Is it demonic?

It's not that scary. It's like, it's scary, but Yeah, it's disturbing as fuck. Is it demonic? It's not that scary. It's like, it's scary, but it's not like, I don't know, I didn't disturb me. I like jump scares and I had a bunch of those. It was disturbing. How many of you guys, you guys came out of the gate, going, eh! Now you're like, it's, you know, it's all right.

I didn't want to walk it. Why are you pulling back up? I watched it, it fucking pissed me off because it's like, it's freaky. These motherfuckers smiling at you. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What harm would you watch?

I watched Barbarian, which is hilarious. It's funny. It's scary. It's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I get weird at the end, but it is so funny. Yeah. At the end, it's even funnier. It's crazy.

That crazy move that he pulls when he's like, go get your baby. I just, I mean, it's, it's, it's, I don't want to like, physics can't even, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. You fucked us with physics.

Yeah. I'm literally buying all your horse shit. And then if I throw a, something off of something and then something else, you can't flip it. Yeah, I know. And they flipped it. I know, I know.

And I'm like, you guys, now I'm stupid. I'm dumb, but now I have to be stupid. I was really upset about that. And then Andy was like, no, she just weighs, she weighs more. So she, and I was like, all right, I'll buy that. Because I was like, I don't want it to ruin the whole movie for me. I wish Andy was with me because that would help me.

Yeah. That dumb, well, that would work for me. Yeah. Yeah, the movie was all right, but they haven't made a scary movie in a while. That's not true. What? Name one. Mid-Summer is scary.

I won't see it. Oh, I will not see it. I'll see it. I'll watch it. I'm going to watch that this weekend. What's the other one that he did the one before mid-summer? Yeah, I saw that one. The yeah, no, I saw that. That was scary, but it wasn't it wasn't that crazy at the end, but not that crazy because when they go into that stupid demon shit. Yeah, and it's like we have you. Yeah, we're in your treehouse. It's like go fuck. I don't like when scary movies get too artistic.

Like, I loved the conjuring was, I still think is like one of the best horror movies ever. Conjuring was good, but it got a little weird. The exercise is the best movie ever. The exercise is, I mean, they're basically the same. Yeah, but the exercise is real. If you watch the exercise again, now you're gonna be like, this sucks.

No way. Yeah. Fuck. You got. God dammit. Yeah. It's like poltergeist. Like you're like, yeah, this was good for when it came out. But now I watch it and it just is like, campy.

Okay. I'll watch it. I'll let you know. Yeah. So then you had, did you guys, you know, do married stuff for, you just went to bed? No, we went to bed. We didn't do anything. Do you get, Danny?

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. On the Lord's day. On the Lord's day. During the day. Yeah. That is so Italian of you. I know. I should have been in church. Who fucks on a Sunday? That's a great time to fall. I do. You don't have anything to do on a Sunday. Day time, Sunday fucking. And then yeah. No, no, before brunch. Well, I had a work brunch. So, and then I was, I was here until about four, went home, passed out at a come home walk the dog, passed out, had to be back here. And then after work. That's great. So, I'm not daytime fucking on Sunday. Yeah, why not? What's wrong with daytime fucking? I'm scared of it. I'm scared of D time fucking.

I don't know, I like D time fucking. I don't, I, I have a D time fucking year. You should. You know what I think it is because I have a kid. You know, send him to school and D time fuck. So like tomorrow he goes to school. Yeah. Once that bus turns the corner. There's no bus. What do you think I am a fucking animal? We drive to school

Fuck it put my kid on a dirty bus Right, so you get back home and then daytime fuck yeah Yeah, but that's morning fuck. It's daytime. That's morning. What time is school? School is at 8 30 What time do you get morning fucks are probably best for for me anyway because that's like your hormones are your testosterone the highest in the beginning of the day. No, it isn't. Yeah, it is. Oh, come on. You don't like to be woken up by a blowjob and then no fuck what? Excuse me. I don't. That's crazy. I don't. I likeels. You're gonna buy Instagram Reels. You're gonna buy Instagram Reels. You're gonna buy Instagram Reels.

I like a Chinese lady cooking some weird shit and a guy catching eels in a fucking Coca-Cola cup. Oh, honey. Yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta just try it one time. Daytime fucking. Because I swear to God hormonally, for men, that's the best time.

Okay, here's what you two don't understand. Because you guys are apparently both slut-bagged. I married to a decent woman. Oh my God. Who's not going to blow me at 847 in the morning. No, but when you come back from school, from dropping max off. I don't drop them off. She does that.

All right, so when she gets back, I'm kidding, I do it sometimes. Sometimes. I don't drop him off. She does that. All right. So when she gets back, I'm kidding. I do it sometimes. Sometimes. I thought you guys are going to attack her, but apparently you didn't. You had to. Yeah. That big should go women.

That's the job. Well, we're respecting your schedule. Thank you. Okay. So somebody drops Max. I get up at the house. You guys fuck every day. I get up at 73730 every day with Max.

I have breakfast. We all have more in the umbrella. And then I can go back to bed. Okay. Okay. So after we drop him off, what happens? Then you come back or she comes back? I come or she comes back. I'm there. What do we do now? Now you make a move. Now you, you prepared yourself. You get, get the little purple thing. Your little purple one. She's's not gonna let me do that for a while. What did you do to her? No, I just know that she's gonna make listen. We don't I got you to do. No, but you know just you've been married to her for how long? Okay, we get let's just say. It doesn't have to be an hour. I have to make the move. You should make the move. Yeah. Okay, so how do I get her out of her? The seven different patterns of clothes she's wearing.

I mean, my wife dresses like a homeless person. Seven days out of the way. I mean, I swear to God. Bobby. What, she found a bag on the side of the road. Checkered a hoodie, then a hat, then fucking gray black with a bleach stain, and then slippers.

So how does my dick get hard at fucking Mrs. Roper? How? Well, if she's dropping them off, you have to just sit at home and watch the porn. So you want me to watch it? You're already watching Instagram Reels. Okay, yeah, which is awesome. And on your phone, yeah.

So just go on your only fans and like watch whatever you want. Well, I don't do, I only, I don't, I don't pay for porn. I would never pay for only fans. So on your phone fans and like watch whatever I don't do. I only I don't I don't pay for porn I would never pay for only fans. So on your phone in lieu of the real Okay, so you want me to watch a little porn. Yeah, get yourself and then my wife comes home and then I'm sitting there on the bed with my dick out I mean, that's a little okay, I'm asking don't fucking come and be like I'm dirty You who is it trying to get you to do weird shit? It's not weird. I have a sex with your wife. So I watch porn. I'm watching porn. I'm watching. You who is it trying to get me to do weird shit? It's not weird. Have it sex with your wife. So I watch porn.

I'm watching porn. I'm watching a little porn. She's dropping the kid off. I'm dropping a little porn. I'm getting all worked up, right? And she comes home. Hey, home. What do I say then?

I just picture Bobby like painting his around his ankles with his dick and his hand. I'm like, oh my god. On the dick and his leg on the phone. One of you asked, oh, all right, she's home. What do I do now, Rose? But Liz, talk to me. Talk to me, Ghost. She's looking at me like I'm weird.

I don't think she likes it. She just shut the door to the bedroom. I'm in here with a dog. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's a young person's game. Yeah. You don't day bang when you're 50 up. All right, so if you plan, if you have to plan, if you're scheduling sex, then why don't you schedule a day time? Yeah, but we have to schedule a day when it's like kind of rainy out. So the sun's not just shooting through the window.

I mean, I feel like that could be tomorrow, right? It's going to rain tomorrow. Right. Let's look at the weather. I think it's supposed to be nasty. Is it bad when, oh, I can't see that. What? You can't do that. Is it bad when what? It's going to rain tomorrow. 70% chance of rain, Bobby. Tomorrow could be the day. Okay. So I bring her in the bedroom and do what? Bobby, you have a child. It's not like you've never had sex with her. You know, but you guys are asked, you know, you know, you know, what, make me happy. Liz, listen, I want to tell you, you bring her in the bedroom. You start taking her clothes off. Why? Why do I want to start taking her?

What is she? Amish. You are the way that I'm just taking it. What is she? Amish. You were her bonnet. The way that I'm picturing, you know, you just said she'd dress. The way you just said she'd dress, she's wearing several cardigan layers. So you start removing her 16th card again. Yes, okay. You know, you unzip her parka underneath the card again. Take the hoodie off. Siphah, sound hoodie.

Start slipping one up, move off the other. Yes, okay. You're right. Yeah. And then, you know, you get down to business. Okay. All right. Show a little initiative. Yeah.

Make it a little bit for her. Why can't you? Not this for you. Oh God, there's nothing worse than morning vage. Oh, just a sleepy pussy. Just, what's up? What's up? No, what are you doing? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't have one cup of coffee. Just daring you to cry. But you've been up since 7am. Everyone's had breakfast. She's been in, she's been in at places. Nothing, she's not even, she doesn't get into it. Sounds like peeling an octopus off the side of a boat.

Fuck. Just fucking... Oh, god. I'm sorry. We're not getting monetized. Let's just go all the way. You're right. You're right.

You're right. I'll try it, but I... You do it home. Try it. This is what I hate about you. Why? And you. Because you're doing the same shit you did to me the other night. No, I'm not. Yeah.

I was I was I gave you way less advice the other night than I'm giving you now. I was leaving you completely out to drive. So if Andy came home. Yeah. At 930 in the morning. And he came home and he started taking you clothes off. And he was going to go down and zing and heard a little bzzz. What would you do, Rosebud? Yep. Yep. Say it. Go ahead.

I'd probably be like, what are you doing? I have to be honest. Honestly, I'd be like, I haven't shit today. Oh, I need to. My life doesn't shit. My life doesn't shit. My life doesn't shit. But everyone have to say it three times. Get out doesn't shit. My wife doesn't shit. My wife doesn't shit. But everyone have to say three times, get out of my head. I'll have to remember now you've been up for

two and a half hours, three hours. That's time everyone comes back home and is in the same place again. Oh, that's great. Because I because realistically, if he was to say to me, if he was to say to me realistically, what are you going to do in the next three hours? What are you? I'm going to have two cups of coffee. I'm going to take a shit. The size of a baseball bat. You know, but Andy would be like, what are you going to do in the next three hours? What are you, what are you honest? I'm gonna have two cups of coffee. I'm gonna take a shit, the size of a baseball bat. You can get a x-ray. No, but Andy would be like, what are you gonna do in the next three hours?

Honestly, that's gonna, that you're gonna actually finish. Right. And I'm gonna have no answer. You're gonna say poop. No, because if it's two hours since I woke up, I've already shit. You wake up and, right away. Yeah. Wow.

Like clockwork. You too. Yeah. Wow, women are magical. My. Wow. Like clockwork. Yeah. Wow. Women are magical. My wife shits once a month and you can hear it. Sounds like this. Oh my god. That's awful. That's awful. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I say to him, all right, you got a point. Like if he like, if he argued with me, I'd be like, all right, you got a point. And then I'd give it, you know, because it takes a little convincing. Like I, it's weird for me, because I like, I like for him to make the first move.

I like for him to be the one who initiates, but I also respect my schedule. Can we share this? Dominate me, but respect my schedule. You're on my Google calendar. I don't know. It's been years. She's on my Google. It's fucking nuts. So weird. I don't know. That's insane. I have no idea why, but I am. I just added her by accident. Literally, that's why today I was like, you gotta go, you gotta go right now. You have three minutes. Yeah, it's a sex is a weird thing. I think it will come.

Liz, get into his Google calendar and put in sex with me. Do I have to schedule that? No, don't kill me. I'm kidding, I'm not scheduling that. Don't want to do that. She is. Yeah, look, when you have a hitting, I'm not scheduling that. Don't want to do that. She is.

She is. Look, when you have a kid, it's a little different. And now it's like coming out of the clouds. It's like, well, we have time now. We do think, it's like, whoa, like Max can go away. He knows how to wipe his own ass now. Right. That's a big thing in life.

Yeah. When you learn how to wipe your own ass, you are free to go, it's like you can go to other planets. I mean, you can go, you could cruise space travel. Right. I mean, he'd go wherever he wants. Right. Hey, Max, you're gonna come with us on a safari

to kill a tiger. He can go. So now you guys gotta fuck again. Yeah. You got to put the effort in. I did. Not just one night. I fucking did it. I'm proud of you sabotaged by saboteurs. No, you it worked out. It worked out because my instincts came in. Great. And the two chicks and the house techs work sex shop by the swings off of 286. Yeah. They helped you. Yeah.

They did. I mean, they did. They raped me. They raped me. They raped me. $230, I expected on juice. Oh, my God. What do you want to do?

What do you want to do? I didn't know how they didn't tell me that it cost the rose cost 20. They said, go buy it. All right. Well, so you got fucked twice. That's honestly in one night. Let me be bitchin' about. Ah, fuck me.

You gotta learn to fuck your wife again. And here's the cool part is that it's been so fucking long, new. That it's new all over again. No, I mean, I actually, we had a great time. I had a great seat. I had a good time. So you're the only one at this table

that got fucked on New Year's Eve, you are. Yeah. Yeah. You're in a good time. Yeah, now get some, you're the only one at this table that got fucked on New Year's Eve. You are. Yeah. Yeah. You're in a great position. I am, and I go, how chicken? And you go, how chicken? Yeah.

You really fell asleep farting. You want? I did. I did. I fucking hate New Year's Eve. I had to wait until the next day, like it would come on. I was tired.

Yeah. Lots of work. Yeah. I had to go home, shower, then. Yeah. Get laid. Yeah. You really want to go home, shower, then get laid. Yeah. You really won New Year's Eve, Bobby. I did.

Yeah. I had a good New Year. Rosebud was traumatized by Amina and balloons. Yeah. It was a lot. I mean, honestly, Amina was traumatized by me. She did not want to watch that movie. She was upset the whole time.

She was like, can we please watch a little mermaid? Can I ask you a question? I was laughing my ass off. I mean, that's a good question. Yeah. Like, if I'm going to come to your ass off. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. If I'm gonna come to your house, not that I've ever been invited, you're always invited,

but you're gonna come in and be like, this is why you gotta move out. This is why you gotta move up state. Find me. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,

yeah, see, this is why you gotta move up state because you're in here. When are you gonna have a kid? What are you gonna build a family? You're barreling towards 40. I don't know what you're doing. You got to, this is too small for any person. You're gonna, where are you gonna put a stroller?

You know, that's what you're gonna do. You're gonna walk into my house and insult my, I am not. Yes, you are. You're gonna insult the square footage. You're gonna tell me, I feel like, I'm gonna invest in real estate. You're gonna come, you are. You're going to insult the square footage. You're going to tell me, I feel like, I'm going to invest in real estate.

You're going to come, you're going to come to me at my house. And you're going to have, you're going to have a good time. You're going to come over. We're going to have nice snacks. We're going to watch a movie. Yeah. I got a big couch. I got recliners.

I got a knife from, I go to your house. It seems to me like you have like one couch that's artsy. It's not really that comfortable. No, it's a good kid. And then you got some Andy found a mid-century something on the streets and redid it. And you know, it's orange and fucking, you know, gay flag. That is not true.

And then, and then I'm gonna go for snacks. And you're gonna come out with some fucking cheese that you a great grandmother made Rosebud Baker the third The first and then Andy's gonna make sure my apartment hang on a second What is yeah, there's your coach there's your there's your coach right there the most uncomfortable coach ever Jesus no, that is horrible. No, I'm an adult. Hey, this couch, actually every time you buy a layer, we donate, we choose to children in Africa and Guatemala.

That is a horrible couch. What are you doing? Where's my living room? I don't know, but it's killing my podcast. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. What do you got? You got this my old living room, but I don't know where it is.

But it doesn't, but we don't have a shitty couch. We got a really nice couch. Okay, you got a nice couch. And you do, I guarantee you have an uncomfortable chair in the living room. No. Is it wood? No.

What is it? It's like in a pollstered chair. Okay. Now, you can ask Liz, Liz has seen my apartment. I just want to know. We've seen pictures. What snacks are you? What snacks are we getting?

Those are bad. I know it. I know it. Some type of... See, Dawn is an amazing cook. When I have snacks, they're good. I got Bri. I know it. I know it. Bri is good. Bri's great.

Bri's delicious, Bobby. What are you saying? Bri. Esportsarella. Motsarella. Bri. Good or bad. Thumbs up. Thumbs down. Bri. Stinks. Bri sucks. Bri sucks.

I will fucking go to my deathbed. Bree stinks. And the people eat the fucking outside of Bree, you suck too. And the fact that you melt Bree and you dip your dumb track is in it, you stink. Bree, sucks. Bree, sucks. I hate it. I'll never like it.

And then I see it. I want to step on it. I want to step on all Bree. Bree is fucking stupid cheese. It's dumb cheese. It's delicious. It's really good. fucking stupid cheese. It's dumb cheese. It's delicious, really good. It's delicious. It's not.

That's why it's good. Ugh, it's not. It's delicious. It's not. It stinks. What else you got? Bri is fantastic. It stinks.

It's the worst of these. I don't know what else we got. Honestly, I don't care because I don't eat in my house. I don't. I leave my house to eat. So you got nothing. I kind of thought that. I go to your house. I don't. I leave my house to eat. So you got nothing. I kind of thought that I got to your house. We're gonna watch a movie.

Oh, this is great. Would you like a biscuit from when Jesus was alive? And and and breach ease. It's always like because Andy's out of town. So it's always just like the food that I've eaten that I didn't I didn't even bother to throw away. I just throw it back in the pantry. And I just, I eat like someone that's just been

through a divorce. And Andy comes home and he's just like, what the fuck? Learn how to like, stock the fridge. Yeah, it's just you feeding a mouse that you be friended. Yeah, pretty much. All right, listen, I got, I got co-s my glasses. There I got questions for you.

Here we go. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I thought he died years ago. Yeah, he's not like the current Pope. Well, what the fuck is he if he's not the Pope? The like, I mean, it's the old Pope. Yeah, he's, Oh, he's a Pope that was? Yeah. Oh, so he was an old Pope, so we don't give a shit about old Pope. I mean, I literally thought that you had to die

to not be Pope anymore. Yes. You could step down. He was old and, you know, What'd he get caught? No, no, this German, no, no, no. That him dead? No, that's, that's,

That's no, he's dead. That's him lying in state. Yeah, he's definitely dead. No, no, no, no, that him dead. No, that's, that's no, that it is. That's him lying in state. Yeah. He's definitely. Well, wait a minute. That's him. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I saw the pope when I went to, uh, it feels like he shouldn't be able to put somebody's dead photo on the internet. What is the Pope? He's lying in state. He's the pope. Whatever. I guess, but he's going to end up underneath the, yeah, the silica anyway.

Um, him and his red shoes. Is he wearing his, he's wearing black shoes? Interesting. What does that mean? He was known for his red shoes Benedict like that was his you know, there was some bishop that didn't like his red shoes Just slip the black ones on maybe cuz that was he what's he doing? Oh my god? What's he doing? What is he doing? You seeing the ring? Oh? The ring you got a kiss of dead guys ring. It's the Pope ring. I thought it was like the reverse of a circumcision in the two-stage. You know, stop it.

At the end, Catholics blow the priest. Oh, okay. Poor Benedict. That's crazy that you got a kiss of dead guys hands. Why can't they move their hands up to his belly button? I mean, this is just nuts. You don't. I don't want to.

Nobody wants to see that. Just got a look. That looks like he's, I mean, that's terrible. Oh, it's I don't want to. Nobody wants to see that. Just got it. That looks like he's, I mean, that's a terrible, really bad. There was a really good movie. Fuck, that movie about the two popes, about this one, about Dead Benedict and the current hope. Oh, with Anthony Hopkins. It was actually really good. Was it?

A pop movie that's good. Yeah, it was about, you know, the two popes. Whatever the fuck it was. That's what it's called. It's called the two pop. Yeah, because the German Benedict, he stepped down and then the South American stepped up to the plate.

And so it's about their sort of change of power. They're power dynamic and they're. Well, the German one wasn't he, wasn't he have a lot of stuff, like a lot of... I don't know, but he was like, you know, he was very German, Germanic in the way that he dealt with things. And then the South American is more like of the people, you know, that type of shit.

Fuck it, baby. Yeah. Yeah, no one really cares. I guess because you don't have to elect a new Pope. Well, here's the football player yesterday. Oh my God. Okay, can you stop? Can you stop?

It's crazy. But can you stop? I'm sorry. Can you stop? I will. I said the Pope died, you get nothing out of you. I say'm sorry. Can you stop? I will. I said the Pope died. You get nothing out of you. I say a football player.

You don't even know his name. And you're about to shed tears. No, it's. What happened? I think it's pretty traumatic. I think that. What? I explain this to me because last night, and I'll tell you, a football player.

I saw. Okay. So I'm like, okay, there's people crying. There's everybody's losing their minds. There was a cop attacked with a machete in Times Square on New Year's Eve. Nobody gives a fuck. That happens all the time, especially in this town.

You have a citizen app. There's a lot of machete isn't it? This isn't fucking the Amazon jungle hunt. Nobody gives a shit about that cop. I mean, I do. Uh, all right, sorry, he, sorry, sorry, woke. Sorry, he was cut by a machete, but like he, what is it?

I mean, so what is that? He's not a football player. Obviously, we give more. No, he's a life protector. Okay. Well, we give more. I said about a famous football player than we do about a cop. My problem.

I don't think it's the thing I'm saying. It's like, I, not that I don't care about this guy, but it's like, I had more empathy. This pork hop was trying to protect everybody to have a good time. The world was there. And the guy came out with a machete, hit him in the head. I know it's fucked up.

It's very fucked up. All I'm saying is, that's not gonna get like a bunch of people talking on Twitter to say, I don't think it's that I don't care. They don't. I don't think it's that, why? Don't care. They don't. I don't think it's that people don't care. It's just nobody really knew.

It's like, we all watched that happen on TV. So obviously. And I think that's what it is. I understand it's sad, but why are people flipping out? Like, oh my God. Because collectively, as just like his teammates who are next to him and the opponents right across from him and the people in the stands on TV,

we all watched a person go into cardiac arrest and die on the field. Is he dead? No, he's in critical condition and be resuscitated and have someone fight to save this man's life on live TV and that is really traumatic, watching that and when it's that explains it. I just think, because here's the thing.

And I think that's what I find so. I saw aftermath of just people talking about and crying like these interviews was like tearing up. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Why are they, I understand, but these guys are pro athletes. They're on a lot of stuff. They do a lot of things. They're hard.

I mean, they've been this, you know, you're, you, these are, you know, this does happen to these type of peat, you know what I mean? And it's like, okay, it sucks, but people would like, it's almost like they saw a school shooting. It had that vibe, which I didn't, I just didn't understand, but that, that explains it. I also think that I Mean there's if it was Tom Brady. I understand I

Would fucking be in tears right now I'd be like now I'm I bet you shouldn't you fucking left him you fucking slide this is your fault With Tampa is TV is TV brak This is your fault. You're gonna have no soul. I don't care if it's with Tampa. It's TV. It's TV, bro. Gronk, you cock sucker, you left them. I mean, do you know the guy's name?

No, I don't. What position does he play for? He play position does he play for? I know he plays for the Buffalo Bells. A ball. He plays for the Bibles. Darryl Darryl. Darryl. Darryl.

And it's you guys even know who he is and you feel. No, yeah. I. All right, this is like, does that make sense though? It's like, I've watched somebody die in front of me more than once, right? Because you're Italian and that's what Gini's do.

You murder people. And it's, but you murder people who go against the family. The Pope, it was the other Pope sitting Pope was like, listen, he's sick. This shit's not going to go on much longer. Everybody pray for him and then he died. This dude, I don't think anyone that was shoulder to shoulder with him two seconds before expected him to feel the entire feel to die next to him. And then what do you do? I didn't see that part. I just saw the aftermath. I was like, what the fuck? I think with the police officer, I'm sure for the people around him at that point,

it was fucking crazy traumatic. And they're gonna have PTSD from that. I'm not, I'm asking, you know what I'm saying? I'm not, I'm just saying it didn't make, but that makes sense. Yeah, anybody that was watching that happen in Times Square is like, I mean, I was like this. That's all they fucking trickered about.

Yeah. I was like, dude, what happened to like, oh, this guy, oh my God. And I was like, Oh, that stinks. I'm gonna go check out Tulsa King. You guys in. New episode of the Pulsa King. It's, you know, there's one thing you watch. It's a good show. You watch someone. Tell the Sheridan's this shit. You know, you watch someone blow their Achilles and you're like, ah, that sucks. Blow their knee.

Ah, that sucks. Blow the Pope. Blow the pope. That's that'd be crazy. We just started. But you don't, you don't, we're not used to our custom to watching somebody die in front of our eyes on national television. No, okay. And we're watching. Yeah. I guess I'm on you. You know, it's a lot. It's, I mean, now let's say it's tragic and all that. Yeah. And I think that's what was so shocking. That's especially for those people around them and post to him. I mean, we had two, didn't we have two crazy things happen on New Year's?

The machete thing and there was something else too, right? Yeah, something like that. I did also- What the fuck just happened to you? Sorry, I didn't do anything. I wanna go back because I was like, Oh, here we go, politically correct Rosebud. No, I'm not being politically correct.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bumically correct Rosebud. No, I'm not being politically correct. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm saying that. Let me say this so I can keep my job. No, I'm not saying, honestly, please. Okay. I was saying that earlier when I was like, nobody gives a shit about that cop.

Yeah. I'm not saying nobody actually gives a shit about that. I'm saying nobody saw that happen. Right, I know you. So, you know what I mean? I know you say it. I know you care about cops. Yeah. Sure. Let's try that, and I know you care about cops.

Yeah. Sure. Let's try that again. I know you care about cops. Cool. Good. Did you sign the defundable thing? Did you do it?

No. Okay. I thought that was a bad idea. I love cops. I love mall. Yeah. I love our troops. I love the flag.

I love standing for the fucking national anthem. I love the thing goes, wow, I cry. Yeah. I cry at like the Super Bowl when everybody is like, oh, hey, and they have some chicken. And the dog, holy, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, we're all like, ah, hey. And the fuck, I love it. I love it. I'm so patriotic.

I know. Are you patriotic? I don't know. Wow, you are. You love this country. Yeah. It's a weird thing being patriotic. I have a jacket that Tony has,

and it comes with a flag. Oh, yeah, yeah. You put a flag on it. I wore the flag out, and people like to do it with the folks comes with a flag. Oh yeah, yeah. You put a flag on it. I wore the flag out and people like to do it with the folks up with the flag. I was like, what? It's the country you live in. Yeah.

I love this country. Great. I love the flag. Are you gonna put a flag on your house when you get one? No. I'm gonna put one up for you. Yeah.

I'm just gonna put one over here. I'm gonna put one over here all the time. I'm gonna make it so you're okay in the suburbs. You and Andy. Yeah. So you'll be able to live. I'm gonna put a flag up that way when your house catches on fire and somebody breaks in, they'll come. Instead of, they'll come to help. 134 Salem Street. Oh yeah, those hippies.

Fuck yeah. You mean the ones with the fucking. The black lives matter. So they have the black lives matter. The fruity flag up front. Yeah. You mean the ones with the fucking... The Black Lives Matter stuff. They have the Black Lives Matter and the fruity flag off front. Yeah, let them deal with it. Click. You. Yeah, they got that trick-a-treat flag off front.

Yeah, let them figure it out. I don't like having anything on my house that says something about who I am or what I believe. Wow. I don't either. I don't want anything on that. I got a flag. That sort of says something about who you are and what you believe.

Yeah, an American that believes is country. I just want my house to look like a house. I don't want it. I don't need a bumper sticker on my car either. I don't understand, I bumper stickers are stupid. I don't understand why the flag had become a bad thing. I think it happened. Every other country. I think it happened. Every other country.

I think it happened when the Capitol got fucking. Oh no. You know, I think that's when it started to feel like. No, no. At least for white people, that's when it started to feel like. No white people, fuck it, no. Yeah, because we saw, we saw other white people

storming the Capitol and we went with like big ass flags. It was only six of them. It was only six people. No, that's not the best of them. Fuck. It was only six people. I mean six started it. There's so much. Everybody else kind of got pulled into it. They're like, hey, where we going?

Wanna go to the mall? And then they were all of a sudden they were in the capital. Like, how did we get in here? Oh my God, what's happening? USA, Trump Trump Trump. They're like, I don't fucking know. Yeah, crazy. Some of these running out with mace.

I'm so, I'm such a dick at brought up, such a serious, we were talking about food and pussy. You believe in America, Rosebud? She has to, it's inner blood. There's no, but that's the thing when you know somebody that's working for the government, you know it's bullshit anyway. You know the people who fucking run around with the flag are like, they think that they have any kind of power.

It's like, you don't. They're all doing it behind your back. It's not about that. It's like you don't. They're all doing it behind your back. It's not about that. It's about the flag for you. The flag represents that we're all in this together. Uh-huh. We're all in it together. It's, I mean, I, yeah, and we're always evolving and coming together and figuring shit out as a country, as opposed to other places that kind of want to stay the same. Yeah, and I liked that about America. Fuck yeah.

But I also recognize that it's a fucking, they're selling you a thing. Yeah. And you're buying it and it's, that's what it is. Well, then enjoy the Olympics because you can't. What? Cause you're an American and you don't give a fuck about the flag. Yeah. What? Yeah you're an American and you don't give a fuck about the flag.

What? I don't know. Okay. I'm like, but I love you. Well, enjoy the Olympics. Yeah, because you can't. Well, you can't. You can't go to the Olympics.

You can't, because everything is a flag. I can't, I love flags. You can't go to the Olympics. I, why? This year, you couldn't. Why? Because it's in the fucking desert and you would have died I you would have died of heat exhaustion I I can go to the Olympics because I love the flag. I can buy Olympic merch. You can't I can know you can't cuz you'll have a

Flag of America. I can buy a fotsumer. I can buy whatever the fuck I want I got a flag in my window or not. Yeah. I think that's what you can hate America. I can't free in the world. And cops and hope they can hit with the machetes and still live here. God, let's all get out. Oh my God. And that I love. Say the rest of the lyrics, do you know? Stand beside her and guide her.

Who's a vet as a game? Yeah. Do the mouthish, do the valleys, do the little elbow the shows. See? You don't even know the lyrics. I do the lyrics, do the little, out of the shows. God, you don't even know the lyrics. I do the lyrics, but I'm 52, I have Alzheimer's. Oh, no. What's your name again?

What? I'm doing Saunas, it's getting better. Now, we can do one of two things. We can just end it and talk about a couple things, ask the questions, or we can call for each of us. Oh, why? In. What do you think? Why?

We could just end it and go get some food. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good to me. This is a question for Keith Robinson. Can you answer it? Or you answer it? Oh, let's go.

I'm ready. Okay. Keith Robinson. I'll get the answer. It's women can't fly. And that's all he said. That's so dummy. Why can't he? That's all he said. That's so dummy. Why can't he?

That's all he said about you guys understand that all you women comics love Keith Robinson. Yeah. And get behind him. And he is the biggest. He's the devil. You understand? But he owns it. We know that he owns it. He owns it. Oh, is that how you do it? Oh, let somebody tell Crystal Lear and Louis, please. Oh, he's not learning it. Come on. Keith Maybe if Louis came on the podcast he goes, well, I look really good jerking off. It does. I've seen it and it looks good Keep promise him wishing him good health and steady recovery from his show. Whatever off What a search question.

Who does Keith hate the most? Are there choices? I don't know. Are there choices? Maximus? No, that was the full question. Who does Keith hate the women or women's characters? You know, who I would say between me, you and you.

Who does he hate the most? And boss boss versus beyond. Who does he hate the most? I would say between me, you and you, who does he hate the most? And Vos, Vos versus beyond. Who does he hate the most? I would say Vos. Nurses. Nurses. Why does he hate nurses? He hates nurses.

Why? Because they told him what to do when he has to do it. Yeah. And nobody tells. And they treat him like a patient. Yeah. Nobody talks to Keith Rollins in this way. Yeah. Nurses. Yeah, he doesn't believe he like a patient. No, but it talks to Keith Rollins in this way. Yeah, nurses.

Yeah, he doesn't believe he needs a hospital, he's a man, or help. There's a third question, but he didn't print it. Oh, okay, okay, well that's a good one too. All right, great. It says Rob D, and then there's nothing. Oh, I would over here, it's a for prox. Thanks. How heavy is the SNL workload versus workload for a tour?

You mean the great question, the only good question on all the questions? You have it over there. Thanks, Max. Thanks for. This is the work. Thanks, Max. Appreciate that.

Hey, that's great. I mean, if you want to be on the show, just say, I'll let you ask the questions. From now on, Max, you ask all the questions. He's holding all the questions. I mean, not the only good one. The good one. This is the question I get.

Who does Keith Hade most, one to 10? And then Keith Robinson, good luck, Strokey. I got like mascara in my eye right now. Better than what usually gets in your eye. That's right. Usually, in like once every year. Oh, fucking feed him more. He'll fucking be able to shoot his year once a year when I know him an apology for being mean.

Yeah. Um, that's so crack. Let's see. Uh, I guess it's, but well, it's worse. It's heavier. It's like it's, because it's 16 hours a day versus, you know, three nights a week. How many days? Six days. Six days a week, you get Sundays off.

Yeah. But you're a fucking dumb because you're party don't like. No, I don't really, I don't go to the parties. Oh, you don't, you don't, you have to. You're supposed to. Why don't you? I go when I am like, when it's time to go. When I know that it's been too long since I've been.

Oh, okay, okay. And I'll probably just get fired for not going. I don't go enough. I'm supposed to go and I don't go. But I'm also like, do you want me to show up for work and do a good job or do you want me to show how did you get the job? I got a text from one of the producers and said, would you be interested in writing this season? And then what happened? And I said, yeah. But how did you, how do you get a writing job? Do you have to fill it up, do a certain thing?

I did a packet like once, five years ago. What's a packet? Explain to me. You write the sketches, you do the weekend update jokes, and then you send that in. That's it? Yeah. So sketches and weekend update. How many sketches?

I think it's like three to four sketches. And then we get up to, we, and then how many jokes we can update? Like three, two, two, to three pages and we can update jokes. Wow, that's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. And you send it in and you have to do that every week.

Every, every week you have to. No, you have to do that once a year. That was the package. That was like the package. You have to do it once a year. Not anymore, you're in. Yeah, if you're submitting for us and how you have to send in a year. That was the package. That was like the package. You have to do it once a year, not anymore, you're in. Yeah, if you're submitting for SNL, you have to send in a package.

So you're in now and you work six days a week when they're in season. When is the SNL season? From like September to May. Wow. Yeah, Rosebud's miserable and she's, she works a lot. She's really thrilled about it. She works a lot. She's really thrilled.

I can't, and you make, it works a lot. And you make $400 a week. That is fucking, $400 a month. That is fucking crazy. I mean, when I do the math, I'm like, the amount of money I'm given away to managers, lawyer agent.

I'm like, I'm not making enough. Well, people think you make, if you make 20 grand, you're giving 10% to a manager, 10% to an agent, 5% to a lawyer. It's like, what the fuck? And then you're giving 2% or something to money management people, right? You're running money.

I feel bad for my agents. Every time they call me, I'm mad at them. And it's like, it's only because I have to give them money. Yes. And you're doing their jobs. I'm just like, it's like this part of my brain that's like, it's only because I have to give them money. Yes, and you're working. They're doing their jobs. I'm just like, it's like this part of my brain that's like, fuck, I just fucking key. You know, because the amount of work is so fucking crazy

that I'm like, that's really what it is. And but once they get the job, they don't work anymore. Yeah. Yeah, for that job. Right. You can't do anything. You're there from September to May. Exactly. And if you're gonna do something, it probably has to be with that company. Yeah, for that job. Right. You can't do anything. You have to you're there from September to Met. Exactly. And if you're going to do something, it probably has to be with that company. Yeah. Wow. Well,

that's not true. I mean, I'm doing other shit. It's not fucking interesting when you say that. I made it interesting. I made a little, little thing for people to find out and to gossip about now. It's now it's okay. It made me I was like, no, I want people to know I and to gossip about now, it's, yeah, but it's okay. It made me, it made me, I was like, no, I want people to know I'm still employable. Liz, what do you got besides a fucking tight, tight schedule? I thought I was gonna go, Bobbi, work, I got a lot of fucking work. That's what I got.

Yeah, always work in every single day. What day do you have off Sunday? Maybe a little bit now. Not right now, because there's brunch. I need a lot of fucking work. That's what I got. Yeah, always work in every single day. What day do you have off Sunday? Maybe something a little bit now. Not right now, because there's brunch. I need a vacation. I just can't decide if it's a hot weather vacation or cold weather. Hot, hot. I feel like hot. Definitely hot. Don't go to a cold fucking place. Yeah, I'm like, oh, like Iceland. No, or yeah, maybe, I don't know.

But I feel like hot. I feel like I'm gonna be... What are you gonna go eat shark and Iceland? What are you going to Iceland for? I, I, you know, I feel like I'm gonna go eat shark and Iceland. What are you going to Iceland for? I give him no. I wanted she's not vacation. I was just saying it. I was just being a joke. I was that I was trying to be fun. Sorry. I'm autistic. Yeah, I know I got a laugh. You got what do you think of Charlie Rose? It wasn't yeah, so why would you go down there? I mean, I'm gonna fucking give a fuck He doesn't care. Go to Bobby doesn't care. I'm not going to a Rubo. What a last guy. You should go to Rome. I should go to Rome.

But if I'll never leave, if I go to Rome, I'll never fucking leave. If you leave me again, I'll kill you. See? And what are you gonna do besides get my special on Louis CK.com kill box? $10. I own it.

Right there. Look at that fucking thing. That's not it. That's it. There it is. Great. Yeah, I'm fucking still. It's people still buying it.

I'm people that spread the word, buy it. I bought it. You did? Yeah, of course. I bought it too. I bought it in front of you. It's came first. I know you did.

I can't wait. I'm going Moon Tower. Are you doing Moon Tower? No, I'm not doing any JFLs shit this year. Look at all these albums up there. What is all that? I mean, this is nuts. My old manager put all this stuff in it. I get no money from this. I don't even know where the shit goes. I don't even know where the money is for that.

You really should. Yeah. Where are you, Bobby? To Rob. What? Where are you this, where is... I'm all over the place. Go to robacalive. Yeah. Where are you, Bobby? What? Where are you this? Where's I'm all over the place? Go to robacadelive.com. Where are you? This coming weekend, I'm in Lexington, Kentucky. Yeah. What's the website that you can go find on all you day? Rosebud Baker.com RosebudBaker.com, you gotta go

see your hilarious. I'm on the road every weekend that we're off of SNL. You're a great. Go see her now because she's going back and she won't be done till May. And then in May, she'll probably fucking hang her. That's not true. I've got dates between now and May. So I'm telling them that so that they buy tickets. What? I mean, that's not true, guys.

I made a mistake. I just want to buy you two. I mean, what the fuck? I'm trying to sell true, guys. I made a mistake. I want to buy you the money. I made what the fuck? I'm trying to sell tickets, Bobby. Well, sell tickets. I'm not selling tickets like you are. I got to fucking, I got to let people know when I'm on the road. I do too.

What do you think my website is for? They're checking for you. They're not going like, when can I see Rosebud? How are they? They're not, when can I see Rosebud? I like that care. Are They're not, well, when can I see Rosebud? Well, I like that care. Are you gonna add that to SNL? Let's write a skit for it right now.

Oh. Jesus Christ. There you go. Let's go eat. All right, listen. I want to thank everybody who listens to podcasts. Make sure you're watching this on YouTube. Just hit the subscribe button.

And I also want to thank Guy Types Presents. It's the only podcast network. In the world that ejected a big fat boner into the medicine, big fat paralyzed penis of podcast and checked them out. They get all kinds of stuff. Guidance presents. They get filming jewels.

It's a goddamn drinking based trivia podcast. Go check them out. Guidance present. Make sure you go to click subscribe, like and comment. Go to comicwearables.com. I got all my YKWD merch up there. If you forgot to get somebody, like and comment. Go to comicwearables.com. I got all my YKWD merch up there. If you forgot to get somebody, Chris is present, Yamaha present,

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It's nuts. I mean, I'm gonna take and play Blackjack this weekend. I just end this thing. We'll see you guys next week. And you know what, third, later. Later. Later. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan.

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