Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Sarcasm Award

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

We've got Anthony DeVito, Rosebud Baker, and Andy Haynes in with Bobby to talk about a new relationship, what's going on with Bobby's bellybutton, and how should we be treating women! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de ma mal, a Madrid. We're back. Welcome everybody to the show. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast.

I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. I'm the social media podcast. The cast is so fun and crazy and has no rules. Shut up, you all winning this! Work it more, damn it! I'm so sorry. It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the twerk at the end.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. New theme song. I did it that all day. It's so long. I have the charisma of a foot, so I really didn't go anywhere. Wow. But I did inspire that long. I have the charisma of a foot, so I really didn't go anywhere.

Wow. But I did inspire Joe Rogan, which I'm proud of. I'm proud of. You would have all these great podcasts if it wasn't for my shitty charisma and my disposition that has fucking helped me back like a lead weight since day one. Oh, if I could just pee just five seconds of Dean Cook's fucking charisma. Five seconds.

Yeah. You have a 21 year old girlfriend. She's 19. She's 19. I think so. Really? She's not of drinking age. I know that.

Oh, wow. Oh, here's the thing. I don't mind having a girlfriend as long as you have a wife too. I mean, you have some respect. Yeah. I have somebody just around you. If somebody to ground you in a wife too. I mean, you have some respect. Yeah. Have some fucking respect. Yeah. Just round you. Yeah, if somebody to ground you in a make you fucking dinner,

because this bitch is going to want to eat out every night. I'm going to go get a roast. Oh, she can't go roast. Oh, I can't. I can't slice garlic. What is a fucking night's year I'm going to cook? Fucking what's she going to air fry a potato? That's fucking hot.

Oh, come on. You should go to cook up a selfie, huh? My wife's going to fuck.? My wife made a sauce tonight. I'm like a homemade, abba-bba-boo. Oh my God. And I thought it was fucking too cold. Did she mean it? I did it.

One of the things she's getting ready is the right hook. All right, well, my friend. Wow. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Oh, no. You're gonna say, a tag is a hit the white. Take those swings, man. Don't, you know.

That's what they're doing. Take those swings, man. That's what they're doing. Taking swings. Now he's doubling down. Yeah. All right, let's introduce the podcast scenario. That's what I call it. It's a scenario.

Oh, it's a scene. Just at the scene, we have Anthony DeVito. Yes, gay. Sure. She is, they come. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's Greg Stone. Go ahead.

That's Greg Stone and my team. I fucked up. You had to get the Stone. Go find. Go ahead. That's Greg Stone and my teen, and I fucked up. You have to get a little bit of a teen. My teenie is gay as a wind chime for sure. Oh, he really is. Yeah. Oh, my God. He is gay here. The gayest hair in the biz. If he was old Hollywood, he would just be blowing Carrie Grant. Yeah.

And be like, hey, hey, hey, he talked like him too. Hey, you're minifig. It's like you're dick talk like I'm two. Hey, you're mind if I just act your dick tonight, I'm an extra. I do a little comedy. I know a guy named Don Riggles, a gopethorn. We have Rose Cod Baker and Andy Hay and so. Now, I mean, is it a secret that you got?

I mean, can I talk? I mean, you guys, without? I was gonna split you up because I didn't want, I preferred it. Now what happens if, you guys, Roswell just has such masculine energy. I said we both do, At least a masculine hat unlike somebody. Yeah, we switched hats and I,

He's wearing mine. He was working before the show. This is a fucking street job over what? Yeah, we're finally done with that project. The Broadway. You know, that was fucking on my right home. Yeah, out Andy. It's great. We're finally done with the, you know, the lines,

the lines are the hardest part. Yeah, you know, you can stick out in your career. You don't have to stick out in the line. True. All right, listen. Now, what happens if I like more than you? don't have to stick out in the line. True. All right, listen. What happened? How? Now, what happens if I like more than you? And then you break up. Do I have to stay with you?

Because I know you do. No, no, no, no. Oh, it's loyal to LA. Yeah, it's a loyalty thing. Oh, so your LA? No, she's going to LA. So just moving to LA. No, I'm not moving.

She's going to LA. I'm not moving to LA. I'm not. I have an apartment here. Yeah, but you live with him in LA? No, he's staying in my apartment. I live in New York. I'm in. I have an apartment here. Yeah, but you live with him in LA. No, he's staying in my apartment. I live in New York. In my apartment.

He lives in my apartment. He works all day construction. Hey, where do you live? Where's your apartment? To St. Grammarcy. You have an apartment in Grammarcy? Yes. That's such a great place.

Do I need to bring up? You haven't seen it yet? Rose, but you have this great place in your Grammarcy. Yet you're still leaving. Yeah. It's because Andy's there. Where are you going to LA? I've been there for the last two months.

So you're living in there? I'm there for pilot season. That's it. Pilot season? I don't know. What agent? What did Ken agent told you that? Listen, it didn't work out with the other thing,

but you got to come for pilot season. I'm shooting something in March. I have something I'm shooting. OK, it is a work out with the other thing, but you gotta come for part. I'm shooting something in March. I have something I'm shooting. Okay, it's a pull. It is a pull. Okay, listen. All right, before you start letting it out of the bottle before it comes to fruition,

let's back up a little bit, okay? He's depending on this show to go. Yeah. So we need to, he wants to move to New York and he needs that apartment paid for. Listen, I live in New York, buddy. Oh, you, you live here. I've been living here. Yeah. Okay, so you're Oh, you, you live here. I've been living here.

Yeah. Okay, so you're in New York, you're in LA for the last two months. Yeah. Whose house you staying in in LA? I'm swapping. Who's the apartment? I've been, the last two months, I stayed. Okay, so I, I subletted in January.

Are you in a sassin? Why is this taking so long? Because I can't remember where I've been. Are you in a subletted in January? Are you hunting Nazis? And in February, I stayed at a at a friends place in her bedroom, because she's staying in her living room at some point. I got her a free place, but she didn't want it because it's my ex-wife.

It's disgusting. You were married. Yeah. How long were you married for? Two years. Anthony knows. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Doing a half, I think. Really? Two years. Anthony knows. Yeah. Okay. Um, two and a half, I think. Really two years and was it was she a comic also. She is a comic. Whitney Cummings. Yes. Oh my God. He's with her. Huge and bank account. She owns a horse. I know. She's got multiple. Yeah, dude. I would have been horse rich. I would have wrapped my legs around her waist and I would have never let me go You could have came up with anybody like it's okay. You guys want some snacks To care the longer

He doesn't like everybody Every time she went away I kicked that llama right like that every time she went away, I kicked that llama right? Like, God. Kocsaka. I should be open for you. Not Julie, McCullough, you motherfucker. Anyway. Anyway.

So you were married, that's crazy. Yeah. That's not stupid. Now, she's a comic, I don't want to, I can probably... You can say her name. If you Google my name, her. Blinkopits. Yes Was actually Jessica Kiersten and

When she came out I was devastated really Wedding day She was going down on one of the caterers Technically going up or or rabbi had a stroke and oh good I was going to get out

there's no way that would fly not here. It's all over the world everywhere. But our Jewish, most of the stuff. I don't want to lump it there. We go. Listen, I love the hunters. It's a great job. And she's Jewish. Who's a good? Oh, it's not.

It's, it's Quentin Tarantino cheesy. Everyone, they're breaking into stuff. And it's, it's, I, it's a different style of show. It's not just a straight show that you think it's going to be. All of a sudden, they'll bust into some crazy Music and they'll do some sketches like almost like they did this one sketch. That was fucking great about About Racism like in the middle of it. They just cut back to the way it was

Yeah, and they have all these like white people and all these Germans and it's like They start talking about the how do you know when it's a Jew? And it's a game show. It's just like the most racist game show. And but they're not Nazis. They're regular people like us. Just be like, I don't know, because they have money. Dang.

Everything is right. I wish that was the whole show. Bobby Central has that coming out. OK, good. How do you know who in there adjoo? That sounds like comedy Seltro's brand now it is. The ending is a little crazy. And it's sad that you can do that now.

You can just use you have to wait like eight months to say the ending to a show. Yeah. But now I watched it because I was in Sarasota, Florida by myself. Right. And it was either watching the hunter on my iPad or fishing on my VR that I took for my kid.

I spent an hour fishing in the living room of my hotel room by myself. Literally. Literally. The glasses on? The PS4 one? No, the quest. Oh, no. That's the saddest image.

It's on my... You on the edge of a bed with those dumb fucking glasses. Bring up the... Oh, goggles. Bring up my Instagram. It's the saddest... Just rolling your arm for. I was, I was, I was actually,

like a blind man trying to swat a fly. It must look amazing, right? It's pretty fucked up that I'm on a boat, on a lake catching fish and the sound that's coming through and the wind noises and I, I do fish and it did relax me. And I was catching and you're literally holding the fish. You can watch specials like that now. You can actually watch a comedy show.

That's what I mean. You can go like be live in an audience with the little camera. Well, I actually was going to define it a little more for you because that's not what you said. Do you want me to leave? No, I like it. I like it. You're all going to like it. All right, that's hurtful and rude. I'm sorry.

I gave you the middle seat. Are you the middle seat? Yeah, that doesn't count if you keep saying that you like him more. I am kidding. He's only said it's my face. You're going to make your husband feel good. He's not my husband. I know you're going to dump him in a cup of milk.

Yeah, I'm going to leave him for a black guy. Yeah, once he gives you that rent money, he's fucking out. You know, you're just taking a leave him for a black guy again. Yeah. Listen, you really did go from one to the other. He will, he will leave me like notes when he goes on the road. And he's like, please stay away from basketball courts. Brown fried chicken. Brown fried chicken. Overweight white women.

Churches that happen for more than an hour. Yeah. The Lawrence fan convention. The mall. Any improv on a Sunday? The yellow suitin' podium. Any store that sells. I'm like, yes, Stacy Adams outlet.

These are sweet notes, but I can't share any of them because all of them have something racist at the end of them. Well, that's because her sexual history looks like a Kevin Hart laugh out of the heart. No! No! No! No!

No! Comedy Central tried to book Rosewood's sexual past. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part.

I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part.

I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my part. I'm not interrupting my time. I actually went on this diet nine, 10 weeks ago now. 10 weeks ago today. And I stopped eating sugar and carbs and dairy, right? And legumes, I don't even know a fucking legumes,

but I don't eat them. I stay away from the gooms. I eat them in the peanuts. Beans and peanuts. I don't eat beans and pe- I look like gooms better. Peans and peanuts sounds like a new improv group that commonly sent to a just sign Central Design for 19 show fucking deal

for five million dollars each. And it's all women. They incubated in digital for like two years. Yeah, beans and peanuts this summer. But I... Somebody didn't get booked on the show this week and is a little bit upset about that. No, I want tonight.

Are you really? Just the table. didn't get booked on the show this week. And is a little bit upset about that. No, I want tonight. Are you really? Just the go. But my father's was, when I was just eating, after there was like a week, I was just eating like root vegetables. Yeah, carrots. And potatoes and yams and sweet.

My, I remember, my dog, I fired it in bed, literally like this. My ass went. Something called a girlfriend. The dog's dogs hear like this and then and then and then it's like this and then

and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, the surgery you were gonna have. I thought you were gonna have a surgery. The one I told you about personally. Yeah. I don't know. I'm sober too, do you want to talk about that? Yeah, let's talk about more personal things. I, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was joking. This is a comedy pocket. Right. I was silly.

Yeah. Oh, God. Are you sure that I have to deal with this? I swear to God, I should have never fucking asked to bring an- I know you should have, I like him so much. It's upsetting. I'm, I'm, no, I should have never fucking asked to bring in. I know you should love. I like him so much. It's upsetting.

No, listen to me, look at me. I, I, the doctor that I asked, it was gonna do it. Yeah. When he said he wanted to do it, he's like, you have to go and see a dietician and lose 40 pounds. Right. And I was like, I'm not, I was like, oh, I was, okay, yeah.

I literally walked past the dietician. And I went like, I'm not, I was like, oh, I was, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I literally walked past the dietician. And I went home, I go, I don't want to see some middle-aged fucking white lady telling me about nutrients. Yeah. Calories in, calories out, go fuck your mother and your genetics. Yeah. I'm not doing it. And I blew it off.

And I was like, my therapist literally said, why don't you just be fat? Yeah. He gave up on me. Your therapist is Ray Ramon. Yeah. Very Bobby. He goes, he goes, why don't you just accept, just say, if you're not gonna try,

just be fat and love yourself for fat, be fat. And I was like, actually went, that sounds good. No one's ever said that. Why can't I just love myself? But that didn't happen. I came back from a rubah. When I was in a rubah, it just fucking something

and it's happened with drugs and alcohol. It happened with cigarettes. It happened with sex, kind of. Yeah. I just shut off. And I came back. The day I came back, I told my wife, tomorrow, Tuesday, last day, I'm done.

And she knows me well enough, I've done it with cigarettes and other things. Yeah. Well, she's like, okay, and she went out and I haven't touched any of that shit since. So I went back to him recently, he's at my cigar club. Uh-huh.

And we would, he's a, Wait, the doctor? The doctor. Yeah, the doctor is, he's fucking great. He's just a funny guy. You're a doctor, smoke Okay. Yeah, the doctor is he's fucking great. He's just a funny doctor. Smokes. Yeah, you're cigar club. Well cigars are actually water and tobacco. Oh, okay. That's what my dad told me when he gave me my first hang on hang on. That's what my dad told me when he would turn off the light.

when you would turn off the lights. I want to give you a sarcasm award. I want to pray for the greatest sarcasm since my quatt wife. Take this. I appreciate that. That's for you. Turn it upside down and look at the trophy. Put that in your pocket. Every time you say something nice to Andy, it makes me want to walk out of the room.

I thought it was me and I just gave him a sarcasm. Controphy. Oh, I thought that was real. No, that's not the truth. Okay, I'll stay. So anyway, were you like, how do I get a trophy? Yeah, I was like, this is bullshit. This is so competitive.

It's so crazy. I know. It's upsetting, I'm very competitive. That is. I was like, what the fuck? You mean upside down, come. I'm very competitive. That is f**k. I was like, what the f**k? He mean upside down, come. Yeah, right. Rosebud's getting a little bit of trouble.

He mean upside down, come on. Hey, weirdo, take it. Thank you. Yeah, there you go. How do you like me now? We're going to fight later. Less. Oh, Andy, take another one for that comment, man.

Damn it. But no, he does go to my cigar bar. Oh, Andy, take another one for that comment, man. Damn it. Yeah. But no, he does go to my cigar bar. Smoking cigars, yes, not the healthiest thing, but it's not cigarettes. Yeah. Cigarettes have chemicals. Cigars, you don't inhale. If you brush your teeth, like, you know, after you smoke a cigar, you know, you've been

smoking seven cigars a day and some guys are gonna hail them, chew on them. Most guys will smoke a cigar and wash them out that it's not really gonna affect you that much. And if you're gonna get fucking cancer, you're getting it no matter, even if you don't smoke cigars. But I talked to him recently, and I don't think I'm gonna do it.

I think I got it. I think I got it. This weekend, or not this weekend, when I got back Monday, I miss my family so much now because I created this life. Yeah. And it, it, it, it, it, it kind of sucks. Yeah. Because all the fears you have about meeting somebody, falling in love, getting a house, having a child, getting a dog, and having a life, and then your passion for your drive leaves. It's not that the drive leaves,

but what happens is is that you miss your life. So when I used to be able to go on the road for months, sleep on a car, I don't give a fuck. Let's do comedy, let's fucking go get some denies, and let's laugh, let's fucking bust each other's balls Yeah, that was fucking it. Yeah, and now I leave my kid for three days and I fucking get sad Yeah, I'm like Sunday. I want to be with him. I want to be with my wife Yeah, it's like your denny's used to be fulfilling, but then you have a family and you're like,

oh, I thought a Denny's was fulfilling. And you're like, Well, it is, it look at it is. It's amazing. It's fun. Hang it up with comics, being on the road, but it's like, I have this amazing life that I created in Westchester

in this three bedroom ranch. And I love it. And I love being around them. And it's true fucking happiness. And, you know, I always was afraid that true happiness was going to ruin my passion. And for a minute, for a minute, it does. And what you have to do when I'm trying to do now. Okay, because this is where the addiction comes in. So when you feel that, what do I do? I smoke, drink, fuck, eat. Yeah.

Right? Or put your passion, your addiction into comedy, and fame, trying to make it. Yeah. It's fucking make it. Fuck out. I'm gonna fucking murder. I'm gonna fucking bad.

Hey, how you doing? Fucking Hollywood Bob. Nice to be a scalps. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You know, whatever. I'm gonna do what I, you know, and do you shit, right? I don't think Hollywood barb is calling back. I don't think Hollywood barb is calling back.

I'm not mad. I gotta get on some decent podcast. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. But I would like to get on some different. All right, mission hill, we get it. I'm from Seattle. I'm from Seattle.

I can tell. I'm from the Cuntiest Part of Seattle. Oh, really? Couldn't tell. Can I have my cup back in the middle of it? You just want it. Thank you very much. I'm sure you'll win a back twat.

I'm sure you'll win a back twat. Rosebud is clutching. I don't know. But I think that's what is hard. Yeah. Is that I love... Now, being around them, I'm listening. As soon as I'm around, both of them, I'm like,

get me back on the fucking road. You know what I mean? It's hard. You know, with six roles, fucking hard. And him being so creative and being around adults so much, he's kind of mature. Mm-hmm. Mature? Mature? Mature?

To hear that with a boss in accent, I'm scary. That's not Boston, that is Australia. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Mature. Mature? Right. Mature. I am a mature.

All right, we got aluminium, right? Mature, mature. I'm a mature. So, I'm a human, huh? So, I don't know, I miss, I mean, I don't, I love it, but it's, so this, this weight thing is, and someone told me that you can't do it for him. You can't, listen, I get it. You read that, someone said it, I understand.

But you can, you cannot fucking die for your kid. I could not grab my chest at a carnival for my kid. During a recital. Yeah. Yeah. I go. Fucking don't pull you on in a tomato patch. You're gonna do it for me. Can you imagine the fuck your son? The iPhone footage. I'm just, all of a sudden, it's on your stories. Yeah. So I am doing it for me to be around. And I'm doing it for me, of course, but it is, he's motivated.

Did you wanna have a kid when you? We never did. Me and my wife, I loved my wife, because we would look at families on the road, and we'd be on the plane going, fuck it, ugh. Yeah. Ugh. And then we'd, I remember getting our luggage

at the thing, and they'd be with this lady, just looking sweating, like just fucking damn for carrying shit. And I remember looking at the dad, and he's got something staying on his polo. He's got a fucking chair and a fucking other wagon. And they're just fucking waiting for nine bags. And they all look clammy and the kids are fucking,

and they'd be like, well, you guys stay in it. Me and Darby, like flip flop in. We know when nothing to get the fuck away from us. Yeah. Nothing to do with you. We just make it up. We would make it up. I swear to God.

I've set flip flop into a many of people. Because I want, we're not becoming friends. I don't want nothing to do with your shit kids. There's a guy in Sarasota still looking for the Flip Flop in. We should stay there, aren't they? Excuse me. I've found it nice. I love Flip Flops. It's better if there is actually one,

and he's getting crazy business Haven't been advertising Rubber a dream I flip flop in we got the comedy and a ribber rain. I was a producer. I swear to God He got work done. I swear to God. Oh, come on. I swear well, you know what? Segway back to my diet. I'm gonna ask him who is dermatologist. You know who got me on this diet? Who? Robore Tony V. Yeah. The legend from Boston. Yeah. Boston legend. Tony V.

One of the greatest guys. Yeah. And one of the greatest couple. And Rubberay, last time on a Rubber, they sat me down and I was just asking questions. Yeah. And when they said, you can have potatoes. I went, wait a minute, I can't have carbs. You can't have PC.

You can't have bread. You can't have pasta. You can't have cakes. You can have potatoes. I said, have bread, you can't have pasta, you can't have cakes. You can have potatoes. I said I can have a fucking breakfast potato as long as it's cooked in oil. No butter, no dairy. I said I can have a fucking baked potato. They went no sour cream, no butter. And you use ghee, olive oil, avocado. I was in. Okay. It's all I needed. Now here's the addiction part of me. I've had potato 17 times a day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With oxycodone.

I can't help it. You're telling me. You're like half old. I'm a man. I don't need you to be a raw potato. So I haven't really lost. You're going to get like a new thing. You know, this meant a man of potato.

I was going to get those little potatoes. Those little mini potatoes. Yeah. Yeah. Spot like a spider. Your doctor's like, I don't know how to tell you this. Oh my god. We're gonna be coming to Sput.

Have you, there is this guy that ate so much garlic that he got, he got a fucking growth in the back of his neck. I was watching the Dr. Pimple Popper, which we watched on the road. It's disgusting. If you haven't seen the show, it's just, I know what it is. I can't watch it. Okay. This woman cut garlic out of a man's neck.

No. A garlic clump. No. Drew in his neck. No. A garlic clove. No. Grue in his neck. No. Yes, I swear to God. We saw one. I was just trusting. Did you guys work on that?

No. That was so good. That was so good. I'm moving your ward back. I'm moving your ward back. I'm going to throw me back. I'm going to roll you out. I'm going to roll you out.

No, but we watched in the episode of Dr. Bimblebopper where it was like this woman at growth and they were like They were cutting the gross offer and like being like all right. We're gonna test them We'll see if they're like cancerous and she looked she looked like a potato. She had like all these little huge gross But she was so happy because she was about to get wetty or married wetty Wedding I don't remember sure here. Yeah, you have a house. I made it you You needed out of this broad Until you make it here and then you get your own place

And then you go back to the fucking bag with me. Yeah. I got it. I could post her Instagram. How many? You got a lot of followers off of me. No, I know. I know. Only Rose, and grandfather's ex.

I'm very blind. I'm a blue check. But you don't have a sarcasm trophy. She gets DMed by an ex-FL player once a week. No, but the lady, so they get the results back, and they're like, it's not cancerous, and she's crying because she's pretty old, and it wasn't a cancerous experience.

But it hurts because the tears is the scars. Yeah, exactly. And then the next slide, the next slide is RIP That Woman. She died. Yeah, that was the end of the episode slide is RIP that woman. Oh Yeah, that was the end of the episode. Why happiness we tried to Google They wouldn't be able to take it. It wouldn't answer the Google She just she was dead. So I think Dr. Pimplepoper should have stuck to dermatology and not so they killed a woman by taking her nuggets off No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We used to wrap about it, but we were like, I knew it. When I saw the world, I was like,

I love it, the nougat. When I was that, if I ever see it, a tugat, the nougat. If it was electrical socket, you plug it, the nougat. We did that for an hour and a half one day, driving up the Rochester. Would you do it to him? No, what do you say? He's the one I'm gonna put. I made my wife get a nougat off, she had a little mole. We did that for an hour and a half one day, driving up the Rochester. Would you do it to him? No, what do you say?

Easy, what I'm gonna do. I made my wife get a nugget off. She had a little mole. I told her back in the day, get that off your face. You want a chance with this guy. Yeah. I'm gonna get him on my armpit.

You're gonna have to deal with those or tie him off with dental floss until they die. But listen. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's fucking gross. Anything I get on my body, I get fucking, you can't get, I'm gonna tell you this right now too, if you get a nugget on your vagina or your fucking peepie, you gotta get it frozen

off, do not get it burned off. Yeah. Because they found out that when they were burning them off back in the day, because I've had nuggets burnt off and frozen off, because I fucked like a man. Yeah. I was in the 80s and 90s fucking just a stick man are rolling it in. Yeah. Full of nuggets. You have. You got a condom. Penpiece. What's that? Full of nuggets. I put a balloon on my dick once it didn't fit it. I've had all the genital warts But if you when you burn them the smoke would actually who are if they inhale that smoke no they get the warts Yeah, that's not true. Absolutely truly

Huggled Google it So they have to freeze them off that sounds like a guy trying to make an excuse for not cheating on his wife. How did I get the word? I didn't fuck anybody. Somebody was burning warts. You know how I am? You know how I love a fire?

I walk by a dog. I go in. I walk by a doctor's office, and the window open, and a big thing of what dust? I'm thinking about suing. the window open and a big thing of what dust? I'm thinking about Suin. But there are, there are, we have nine computers here. I'm just trying to find out.

He's on his phone. He's not even a fucking iPhone 11. It's an iPhone 6. He's trying to figure it out. OK, what do you got? No, because the good thing is. Burning Morse. It's not getting the answer I need yet,

but I will tell you as soon as I find it. Oh, somebody's been got that. That's a fucking. Yeah, what do you got no because the good burning more it's not getting the answer any yet But I will tell you so I find it. Oh somebody's been all that I didn't try to I fucking trained him I'm gonna train you next you fucking green meaning Why are you so offended that I'm wearing all I hate your Mary Tyler You got an age and goes her outfit sucks I forgot your outfits. This is the worst thing I said. I was making money, your outfit. She looks like a fucking crayon.

It bugs me. Okay, you don't wear all the same thing. I think it's great. It's my own. It's my own. I just couldn't say the fucking. From the monitor, I couldn't tell if it was leather or mesh. And it's neither.

And I wish it was mesh. It's quilled. And it's, I'll tell you what it's neither. And he wants to do what that mesh. It's quill and it's- Doesn't know what it is. I'll tell you what it is. I'm wearing one of the television show tonight and it's called, I'll tell you right now, it's one bone brand. They sent me this and it's for big guys, Chubby guys.

Chubby guys. Chubby guys. Who's this? Yeah, this is gonna look fucking fresh almighty. Oh, is it? Is that how you say it? Fresh almighty? It looks like your jacket has more.

Fresh almighty. It's a, please. Try it. Try it a couple different catch phrases. Fresh old man. You hear like this? Yeah, I'm just doing it at the table. Just do it backward Nixon.

Fresh almighty. I rented a boss the other night. He goes, I'm doing this now. And he like, that was how he greeted me like a sad old man. Yeah, he is. He just put out his ring. Honey because he catches something he could die. Yeah. So you can't really get a really.

He's got the immune system of Ryan White. Yes. Who's that? The first straight kid that died of AIDS. He had a he-mobile. I just laughed, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he had, he That guy. That kid. Both. Both. We were talking about that. Like, nobody dies of AIDS anymore. Yeah, they cured it, basically. That's cured.

And, uh, you can have a pill and fuck with, like, if you had AIDS. With AIDS. You could take a pill and just fuck her and knock it AIDS mostly. What do you think I'm doing? Thank God. That's actually got a special. Yeah, absolutely. Shoken up.

Yeah. About with AIDS. But it's you with her living with her. It's living with AIDS. It's living with Aids. It's about your life. Yeah, paying over apartment and fucking Murray Hill. Where are you again? I took off the immune system.

I took off the immune system of her apartment. It's what cup do I drink out of? You know, they did cure Aids, which is fascinating to me. And I remember Chris had a great bit. He talked about this. He thought he goes, man, there's AIDS. But this is right when AIDS is a copy of AIDS. Oh, OK.

He goes, man, there should be a behind the music with AIDS. I go the door. Hey, what's up? Whatever happens. It's just thousands of gay guys who killed on the sidewalks, did the quilts. Ah. Oh my god.

That was so funny. No, he's a funny guy, but he's dead now. That's his hat behind me. God damn it, it's out of a bitch. Where is it? It's not there. It's right there. Oh, it's over there.

They moved it for some reason, because it didn't look good. Then it went to dead black guys. Happy, huh? That's sad. They haven't moved in the box. I want to read this real quick, if you don't mind. These are all beautiful people who went to my Patreon,

because I go on, what the fuck was that? It was my fucking vape. I knew it was coming. I was like, I saw the dust settling. I was like, it's fucking countdown till Bob gets on me. I'm not gonna say that. What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's Brim Brulee's flavor because he only likes the gay flavors and he bought that. Why are you making fun of me? Why are you making fun of me? I'm bought the fucking pods for you.

But he moved here for you. For all sensualness. He moved here for you, plus himself. She's getting me readin' rat around the computer. Yeah, you don't have to. She hangs outside of the Staples Center and wearing a fake. Quaid it first.

Quaid it first. Stayin' at the outfit. Hopefully, one day, someone will come. Uh, if you guys just, this is definitely not working out. Hopefully one day someone will come. This is definitely not working out. Let me tell you something. You dump him for our sinny hollum. I'm not.

I really won't. I really won't. Because it's really working out. Really? Yeah, it will. Why? Because I just know that it will. Scaring him.

No, unfortunately we're very in love. Really? Yeah. Why can't you not scared. No, unfortunately, we're very in love. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I can't you look at me and say it. We're very in love. Because he's so in love with me. You can't. No, it eats everyone. It's trying to make eye contact with her to see if she's gonna throw me under the bus. That's good that you're in love. Yeah. Because he has nobody. He's been with someone for 10 years. Oh, yeah. She doesn't. Yeah. Actually, yeah. I read that blog. That was pretty popular.

That's a private comedian's wives blog that my wife is a part of the story. She's called me a hated fat fuck. Yeah. Hateful filled. Yeah, that was it. How long you been with your chick? Six and a half years. That's a lot.

She Italian. Half Italian, half Jewish. Wow. Perfect. Now do you have to become a Jewish? No. No, she's, yeah. Her dad was Jewish.

So she's not really a dad. She's off. So she can be Catholic. You're a Catholic. Yes, she can be my Catholic. Are you a Catholic? No. But you believe in Jesus.

Um, I don't think so. What?? No, but you believe in Jesus. But I just, I don't think so. What? Yeah. You don't believe in Jesus now. Are you cut? What do you look? Cut. Yeah, I think I'm always confused by that.

Did you circumcised? Yeah, it looks like. Does your dick look like a soup dumpling? Yeah, it looks normal. Yeah, you mean some visuals and then I can kind of tell you. You ever see a soup dumpling? Does your dick look like an animal that lives at the bottom of see a soup dumpling? Does your dick look like an animal that lives at the bottom of the ocean?

Yeah. Does your dick look like an animal that eats ants? Yeah, I guess it kind of could. I could see my dick eating some ants. Yeah. So Anthony was half circumcised is what we're getting at, right? No, I think I circumcised means it looks like a bike helmet, right? It's got just a helmet.

Yes. Just a helmet doesn't have a hood. Yes, that's what I got. Yeah. Yes. Wow. It's crazy you're just finding this out. Yeah, this is a pain.

No, no, it's like I know it, but I always get confused. He's lived on a special community of state. I just, I just, I just, this week, don't make fun of me in the wild boys. I'm a best friend. I just, he gets off the me in the wild boys My best friends He gets off the tuxedo metro north The fucking far stop Somebody dated a hillbilly. I uh, I go hiking. I just got yelled at for chewing gum

Where right here? I just got a I got yelled at by one of the staff people here, one of the producers just told me to take my gum out. What do you mean? I was chewing gum on. They could hear it and there and there's people who listen and get a fucking bitch. So I'm not going to tell you who it was, but I got in this room. I just got you. I got texted. Take your gum out. Fatso. It was Gabby. No, Gabby would say. That is something I would say, but I did it. That's a phrase. He's this Gabby. Wow.

I did it. You shouldn't be chewing gum. It's disrespectful. I fucked up. Yeah. I took it out and I acknowledged it. I want the fans that listening know that I know. That's what I don't want to do.

I don't need it anymore. Right. So I just let them know it's over. The gum is out of my mouth. That's good. I'm sorry. And it has sugar in it. And I shouldn't be eating it. That's so funny because the fans will bitch that you're chewing gum. And then they'll be like, but now it's gone. It was a far. Yeah,

there will be one fan. I like the gum. It relax. Yeah. I liked the chewing sounds. It was ASMR for me. Do you listen ASMR? No, I don't. It creeps me out. I love it. What is it? Check who has giant boobs. What is it? What is it? It's a whisper. That's not about whisperin' for you.

Oh, you get tingles when you, this, like, certain. Try it right now. You're a douche and little fool me out. Shut my mouth. It's the tits that are giving you tingles. It's not the whisperin'. I just whisper, try. Bobby, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm applying

applicator your face. I don't really know what you say. You're doing great. You're doing great. You're doing great. I love you. I'm washing your face. I don't have to be, I'm looking your face.

I love you. Did you get goose bumps? Oh, well, he's got him. I live in Westchester if you want to come up to, uh, uh, live up there. Oh, there's also. You like hiking. I'm right there at the old, actually looked at a house in Westchester if you want to come up to live up there. Oh, there's also you like hiking. I'm right there at the old.

They actually looked at a house in Westchester. Really? You guys going to move up to Westchester? Not even. Or did you just look on Zillow? Can I show you the? Oh, that was awesome. Yeah, it was.

Yeah, it was. It was in purchase. Yeah. Okay. That's a little far up. I don't think I'd move up there. If you want to do shows in the city, you'll fucking murder yourself. But you could you could do it.

This was an incredible house. Versi and Janus live up in North, North Salem, which is kind of just a cross from that or down. Yeah. But that's an hour and 40 minutes away. We're really trying to lock down the new Rochelle scene, you know what I mean? Well, don't go there if you're going to have a kid. I'm not trying to.

No, we're not trying to lock down anything. If you, I'm telling you right now and I don't know why couples, comedy couples or guys that live together, fuck Brooklyn, fuck rent, you could rent a house in launchmont or new or shell, because you know, you don't care about the school system. Yeah, right there. And you could get a fucking slam and pad and you're in the city. But I, I think I want to have a game. I ain't got one second, I gotta stop. No, but I thought about that for a minute. Can I stop for a second?

I'm sorry. I got this fucking cackling. Opioid addict. What? What? What? Slam and bad was for it. I think you know.

You can get a house with a backyard, a pool, all kind of, for not the same exact money you pay for rent in the city. Yeah, I'm going to live off the Hudson line. I want to do like awesoning. Do you get awesoning? But that's that's actually a little rough. You I'd rather if you if you look at beacons fucking Rob's very yeah, yeah,

jobs ferry Irvington is the shit. What's the other one? Cold spring cold springs is so nice. There's all there's all that's pretty. It's very pretty up there. Do you have a house up there? No, I just love it. I know a famous comedian that just bought land up there

in his building house. I'm not telling anybody. Is it bill? No, it's a bill. Does he not coming back? I figured it was not dead. I have second by for just a fucking hundred acres dead. Cold springs dead. I have second by for just a fucking a hundred acres dead Cold springs dead

Fucking Pills yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Why Andy lived there? We're in the Rosebud. I was there Just to live for free until I get murdered in the school shooting Just to live for free until I get murdered in a school shooting. Why are you in a school? I just hang out with them. I hope that happens. I really do.

I'm helping you get shot because of that hat. That hat would keep him from getting shot. No, it's a school shooting. It's hunting orange. Yeah, but the opposite. You're a school shooting. You're looking for people. Yeah, opposite. We know how to just to kid your drawn towards the bright orange. Yeah, if you're in the woods for a deer and save him at a school shooting, he'd be like, I'm gonna shoot that.

That's so easy. Who's that guy with a drone surfboard at skateboard. Oh, yeah. I should have that 36-year-old. It was actually cool. 37. That's what I say. I was sad. I was 30 seconds. Who's that guy who makes his own cards for holidays? I was sad.

I was sad. I was sad. I was 30 seconds. Who's that guy who makes his own cards for holidays? I include some of the jams that I put together. What? The little party. The little party.

The little party What happened? Anthony's had them. Very nice. It's been all my friends. Every year I look forward to it. The apples are from Duchess County. LAUGHTER I...

Where are bra? Hey, what's up? Hey, I'm... That was pretty funny, Mike. Guys, give me a sec. Thanks for coming on the show. I'm going to read this, right, Gab? Everything highlighted.

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So you don't have to go to the doctor's office waiting line at the pharmacy. It ships right to your door in a discrete package. So you just, my six year old is going to think it's candy. Right? They made it in the USA, which I love. And since Blutu prepares and ships direct, they're cheaper than the pharmacy.

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All right, let's get back to the show. People, what do you think about that? You like some blue Chew? I, I didn't think I was gonna like him this much. I know, me either. Yeah, nobody does. It's surprising. Well, Gabby was like, she wants to bring her boyfriend.

I was just gonna be a nightmare. I go, I don't fucking know him. He's been there since he went to L.A. I was like, what are you trying to get me not to like him more? And then I go, I said that she goes, he's funny. I go, yeah, to you. You're a fucking two year vet. No, he's funny.

Three. Three, shut up. Andy's been doing it for how long? 15. 15. You're not letting me set it up because you're defending him. I'm actually setting him up to go, yes, he's funny. Yeah, yeah, stop sticking up.

You are a steady was funny. Stop sticking up for the guy you're going to dump in three months. I'm not going to. I know you're in love. I'm in love. I know. And are studying was funny. Stop sticking up for the guy you're gonna dump in three months. I'm not going to. I know you're in love. I'm in love. I know and you need to. And I'm not 25. Right.

So I have plans in your apartment. Huh? Do you have plants? No. Do you have a cat? No, I have a dog. Do you have a dog at the apartment? Well, he's in boarding right now.

Why? Because I came back from LA. So when you're staying at the apartment, he's with you. She's living in LA till April. I'm splitting time because I'm just a comic. I'm not like a show business person. So it doesn't make sense to be a... So you just, you're like, are you sure? You just want to do it? No, I'd love to be on television and write for television. Obviously, you'd have to be an idiot not to want to make like four grand to sit in a conference room. But I do better in New York than I do in LA. So I have to make money.

Does that make sense? No, it's absolutely probably because if you're a comic, you can make money here. Yeah, you can't make any money in LA that give you like eight dollars and then they like are like, we gave you 10% off of your flank steak and you're like, they steak and sober and they but we pay you in drink tickets. Oh, man, diet Pepsi. It is a weird thing, but you know, we got together around 20 years ago here, a little maybe a little less than that. We got together and forced the clubs to just clubs to change their fucking ways. Yeah, they need to do that in LA. I'm actually surprised some of those like, are you specifically or somebody like that who's more. He's New York now. He's at the store. Yeah, but need to do that in LA. I'm actually surprised some of those like, are you specifically or somebody like that who's more now to the store? Yeah, but he still plays the store.

Yeah, but he's more here now. But yeah, I don't understand why we actually all got together and we were like, fuck, we need to get in the comedy seller was the first club to do it. And they paid more than everybody else. They were like, we're not gonna do $25 more. We're gonna do, we said it's $75, we're gonna do $85. Yeah.

And, yeah. Which we used to get paid food. Well, it's crazy. On the weekends? On the weekends, you got $50, everybody. Okay. And we all got together, it was so funny, because it was all like Dave, Tau, and Patrice,

I mean, it was all, and then fucking a bunch of open micers that have been doing comedy and they were just, can I shut up? No, you can't ask anything. This is about you. This is for you in 10 years. Nobody gives a fuck. What if I shut up? Crazy to me that when you're in LA, everybody's doing their A material on these shows that don't fucking pay. That's the crazy thing to me because it's if the clubs aren't paying, why are you giving them your best shit?

Why aren't you just trying shit out? Well, how much is, like, what's one of the rooms? Let's do the math, ready? What's one of the rooms? The store? Okay, so the store. What's the store? The store does pay decent money for a weekend's.

And they also give people the door, they give a door deal, I believe, right? That's the main room on the weekend. On the main room on weekends. So, like, they've a door deal, I believe, right? That's the main room on the weekend. On the main room on the weekend. So like they've actually offered me to go in there and do a door deal at the main room. I just didn't want to do it because I was like, well, if I don't sell it, I'm just going to suck. No, you're going to be Bob Kelly and seven YKWD fans that are really scared fans.

Yeah, yeah. I've never made more than 10 bucks on a spot at the improv though. Well, if they sell, that's a 300 seat room, right? 300, how much is it? The main room, the main room. 20 bucks. Yeah, 20, 25, six grand a show. Yeah, there's a guy that sells it out every Saturday, Brian Monarch.

Yeah, I mean, that's crazy money. Yeah, good money. Who is that Brian Monarch? Oh, good. But I, I did. I'm sorry. No, no, I just think that there's something out there. There's a reason why they don't do it. Maybe we don't know because the rant to blah, blah, blah, but you know, you should, they probably should get together and get at least more than seven or 10 bucks during the week. You should get maybe 20 bucks. I the improv got better though.

I don't know about the factory. I don't work there anymore because the booker changes like every three months. But is it a J Davis now? Is it? Yeah. I don't know. Amen.

Denver met J Davis. I know. No way. From the fucking documentary. No shit. Yeah. They should do that. We did that and we in a change and it was great.

It was fucking awesome. Yeah, you can make a living here doing stand up. We think about this, Eleanor. Yeah. Yes, not. This four shows on Friday here. This four shows, three shows at the village, no four shows at the VU.

And then there's three shows at the Pussycat in a block. This is like, this is like Boston back in its heyday in New York right now. Did you make a lot of money in Boston back then? I didn't because I was just coming up. But I mean could you. Yeah, those guys never left. Yeah, yeah, they've left. You didn't have to leave. Yeah. And I talked to like Tony Vee about that. Why didn't you leave? Because we invented it. It didn't exist. Yeah. We're the ones who invented comedy in Boston. We went and got the club

We put everything together We put the comics together and then we went over here and then people started doing it and now You know you get paid a certain amount of money and we didn't have to leave. Why are we gonna give that to you? Why are we gonna go to you know over there? We'll just stay here. They raise families I mean these guys have some of them, you know, live happy, good lives. Some of them don't. They didn't save their money or fucking taxes, whack them at certain times.

But some of the guys, you know, did it right? And why would you fucking leave? Now Boston's crazy. Imagine owning a house in Boston now. You know, my grandfather's house was $13,000 when they got it. It's 850 now. Wow. $850,000 for a fucking house, a little tiny,

little shitty house. So, yeah, Boston comedy was, but, you know, you know, you can make a living there. You can still do it too, I guess. I could stay in the city sometimes. Sometimes I could, It's like you can make a personal living, but you would like with the kid and stuff, I don't know.

And you're not factoring in like insurance, right? I get SAG. So you book. I have and I have it. You know what I mean? Like there was, I think one year I had to pay, man, it was like, I think it was 1,800 a box a month. Yeah, that's the.

And then when I get it, it's 300 bucks a month. Yeah. A sum of 300 to quarter. 300 to quarter. Some, some weird show. So good. It's the best. I want to see if I can do that this year.

WGA insurance, you can get like a, like a nurse will come over and like brush your teeth. Three. Oh, the writer's guild is awesome. It's crazy. But I, I can't, when I had that shit, it was awesome. But I, I had that for a year. Yeah, I saw. I have you have it because of the because of Noah show. Yeah, are you on Noah show?

No, no garden shorts and Clayton English. They had like a sports comedy show. Yeah, like we've run on for a week and then they just canceled the order. But they still paid you, but they still paid out because it was contracted. Yeah, summer. So it was like, so I kept the insurance. So I have it for like another year or whatever. So I kept the insurance so I had it for another year. So yeah, it's like crazy. Literally like chiropractor massage.

Yeah. Here's the thing is I got it and I never you I just didn't fucking look into it. Yeah. And I'm so sad that I didn't do all that crazy shit because it's the best. I'm an ally. I'm going to get surgeries when I get it real yeah, no reason Holler New spine Just go in there just be like I want a new spine That over to get the spider man Gonna get Wolverine metal bones

I'm gonna dog nose Real good, you know like they do you see to get his tremor fixed Yeah, I'm gonna get my her. It's real good. You know, like they do. He's gonna get his tremor fixed. I'm gonna get my hernia and my belly button fixed. Oh, God. It looks like a... What? Have you ever Googled a hernia in a belly button? Yeah, it looks like a image surgeon.

Oh, Rodic. It looks like a baby doing a thumbs up. Yeah. You're doing great. Oh, we got the internet now. Look at my little kid. Look at him. Oh, Yeah. You're doing great. Hey, really? Oh, we got the internet now. Look at my little kid. Look at him.

Oh, good. Wow, we lost two teeth in one day? Uh, three in a week. We still didn't see the, we didn't see the, uh, what's it called? The, the, what? Virtual reality. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, the fish. It was a huge story. I don't want to look at it. Bobby, he looks like you. Well, look, if you know my thanks, buddy, I don't know. I'm a grown-up. I don't know.

I don't know. Get your masks. Um, yeah, I don't think it's in the story. What are you? What were we just looking up right now? Hurnia and the Billy. Oh, her knee. I'm belly button.

Do you not a spell it? Why don't you just show it? I'm I a umbilical hernia. Yes. Oh, I want to say Hurnia. Yes. Oh, blip. I'm going to say, oh, which one do you think mine is?

I'll be honest with you. I think it's that one with the hand on it. Like it's like the guy's pregnant. Like that one? That one? That one? That one pregnancy shot. Okay.

I think it's the one that looks like a penis head coming out of a to the left of that. Where, where to the left? Yeah, that one right there. Oh, Jesus. Look at that. Where, where to the left? Yeah, that one right there. Oh, Jesus. Looks like I think that is a penis. I think he's somebody's docking with his belly button. That's Mateo Lane's new headshot. What's that?

I think it's one down into the right. That one that looks kind of like a... That one looks like a nipple. Yeah, it looks a little bit like a nipple I think that which one do you think it is? Okay, the one all the way to the right last row right there You know that one yeah, have you seen me naked Gabby? Did I nail it? No Mike what it was one it's from me that one also wow you guys are both right? Which one? Oh that's what it is. Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah, it just looks like a fuck well

Well, what happened was does it hurt here? No, but here's what happened because the belly button her knee is the most common one that you can get And it's it's usually doesn't do anything you can live with it forever I'm getting it fixed from the dark that was supposed to do the stomach surgery. Oh, he does it all he was supposed to go in and fixed that When he did this stomach surgery But Oh, he does it all. He was supposed to go in and fix that when he did this, I was stomach surgery. But when... Met him in a cigar shop. He just said he got open my stomach. He works out of a medispa.

He's coming, some kind of two-for-one, do you know? Yeah, he's gonna give me filler and then he's gonna fix my her knee. There's no man's man between New York and Connecticut where you can get an upright surgery. He's actually an Indian guy and he sells cars. He does. He does her knee surgery. cars. I'm just hurting a certain piece. I'm not getting a Lincoln to go with this Ernie in there.

But he just had to fly to Haiti. Yeah. Been meaning to go anyway. But it starts out like this. All of a sudden it feels like my belly button, it feels like the wall of your belly button isn't there. Like what the fuck is that? Like it's gone.

And then, um, all of a sudden there's like a little, it's, little your intestine coming out of the- I heard it. Oh, what was that? I had a hernia. You did. When I was 10, I got a hernia. Of course.

Really? Somewhere. I got it from- Why, of course. Just what you like it? Yeah, I do I really do Could you show it? He's just got this is how I show it I was training for what the fuck that's what I was doing wait you were what training for ski race. Oh, right? You're a skier. I was you don't even look like a the fuck? That's what I was doing. Wait, you were what? Training for ski racers. Oh, right.

You're a skier? I was. You don't even look like a skier. That's, can I have that for you? It's the ice. You know, look like you've been on a stick. Oh, there's something fast. Come on.

You know, look like you have a GoPro fucking deal. He's got great thighs. Yeah. What? He's got great thighs. All right. I'm saying. I don't even know what that, but what is that?

What's that? I've never been, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never been, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've saying. I don't even know what that is. What is that? She makes me laugh. She makes me laugh. I've never been... I've never... The wax stuff. So what happened? Where'd it come out of the side? What on tight?

Like growing. Those are the worst. Those are the worst. Those are dangerous and they can hurt. Yeah. And I woke up screaming and my mom came into my room and she goes, shut up. Jesus.

And so he's dating his mom now. Yeah. That's what I'm dating, really. Yeah. And so he's dating his mom now. Yeah, that's why I'm dating Rose. It makes sense. The only way I can come is if you ignore my needs. So that's what happened. That's beautiful. So and they had to fix it back then. They had to go and do a mesh, the mesh. I think I was so young they didn't have to use the mesh. Oh really? It was just 10 and they just sort of backed up and I couldn't, you know, do lunges for here. Here's a problem with Facebook is that they, you know, as soon as I had this thing, I must have Googled it. And now all the shit comes up on Facebook about don't get the

mesh surgery. If you got a mess and it's like making me freaking me out, right, that you shouldn't get it. And it's all I think that best is only bad if it's in your groin. I don't think it's bad if it's in your stomach. Well, I don't fucking know, but I'm all paranoid now, but I got to get it fixed because I can't, if I lose this weight, I already look like an old pepper without my shirt on. I got to get my, I got to go back to the gym and get everything tight. And I'm not going to, I'm not going to do this far just to have this fucked up stupid belly button.

And I'm fat. So it doesn't really look that bad, but if I sit now What age looks like now you have a tail body look curt aids I'm in here. I'm still in here. I won't kill you, but I'll make you look weird I'm gonna be a friend how long we been together I've been with my friend. How long have we been together? Yeah. Is the voice of a hernia? Yeah, that's how it's all.

Louisiana. Yeah, it's the monkey game. It's the Southern hernia. I'm a Southern hernia. What's it to you, Miss Baker? It's how we are the hurricane. Yeah, we've been through so much. It's like vaguely racist.

I think it's all the way, but I don't know. I don't know. Well, but it really worked there. It wasn't like in know. It wasn't like slave voice or anything. It was just, you know, like, why are you generalizing slave voices? Oh, but it's me. Yeah. Everybody do their best slave voice. Ow! That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's, I'm gonna get a phone call. Her dad's gonna fight Liz, you gotta cut her out of everything. I did, yeah. Yeah, 10 million. Everything is you done. I hope you get a nice big deal. You're gonna be the next superstar of something, and you have to, I have to pay me off because you want everything.

It's a dissous, though, from Bob Kelly. Bob Kelly. I've listened to episodes I've done of this podcast where I'm like oh shit. Yep. Oh, oh, you That's gonna fuck me over. Yep, so weird that you guys are both white women and you're scared of those Nothing bad happens to you guys besides sexual assault Yeah, and nobody's ever touched you in here. Let me tell you something if I get caught for saying something on this podcast I'm I'm saying Bobby's erase it a rape it. Oh, I'm writing that's a three-art. I'm saying Bobby's eraser, a rapist. Oh, I'm writing that's a three-art.

I'm gonna see. I'm gonna write three articles. I'm gonna call Vulture. I'm gonna hit on every white woman I know. I think your track record says you're not racist. So. Yeah. Because you've got so many black guys.

Ha. Ha. You being sarcastic? No. Ha. Thank you, great. Well, that's the way it's the acting. Oh, yeah.

Well, here's the thing. I think about that a lot too, because I probably this podcast started before any of this shit was, we knew any of this was going. So if you want to come back and get somebody, you get everybody on this fucking show. But it's ridiculous to do because where comics, you really can't take that away. So if you're trying to be famous, yeah, if you're trying to be funny, you really don't have anything to worry about. Right. Because funny will always overcome fame, just always does. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. So if someone, you gotta say you're gonna show on NBC.

So now you have nothing to worry about, because you're a funny Gabby, I'd be panicking. But I, I'll find you. But I'm gonna be famous. Yes. That's, I'm going for the other half. Yeah.

I knew you really, I'm gonna be big. No, but I don't think you have to worry about it. Because what do you, what are they gonna do? You're gonna be on a show, they're gonna bring this up, and then you're gonna be like, yeah, I said that. I was making fun of people, it was a joke.

Yeah. Who gives, we have to get over it sometime. Well, it's funny. Don't we have to get over it? Like, yeah, I think podcasts, I think of as like, life insurance, but they'll also kill you. You know what I mean? For comics, it's like, they will end your career,

but they will keep it going because that's where you build the fan base that's loyal enough to just like show up. Yes, but also like even like, I think it was Pete Davidson was getting attacked by the LGBTQ. QIA. Thanks, COC.

New you'd know. Seattle. I was. YZ, Orange Hats. Yeah. QIA thanks coc knew you'd know Seattle wisey Orange hats I'm wearing this hat for all of my comrades Really shines word play But shines with wordplay. But I don't know who's it. Oh, Pete Davidson. He, what'd you say? What are you going to say? What did he do? Was it on his back?

My mother does that to me. Don't ever do that to me, Michael. But Pete Davidson, keep going, Fanny. Pete, an audience member that heckles you and then tells you to go on. Oh, no, Pete Davidson got attacked for his, the promo over show. He talks about gay guys being touchy feel grabby, grab assy and whatever. And they got offended. And they were like, they walk right up to a straight woman and grab her boobs and all that shit. And it's like my girlfriend.

It's like, what the fuck? How do I know your gay? But it was just a joke, whatever harmless. Yeah. I don't judge the joke. I'm judging that they tried to go after him. And women will like, fuck you. It happens all the time.

Women, a group, finally will like, yeah. Yeah. It happens. I've had a lot of gay friends or gay guys sexually assault me basically because they're gay. And black teens are scary. Yeah, they try to ride that way.

Rose but Baker. Rose but Baker. Rose but Baker. Gabby. Gabby Brian. Gabby Brown. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

You guys are going to both lose your deal with the view early. Yeah. It's going to be called the vista. They're going to have to call it the point of view. It's one point of view that we see, Nutterbath, everybody else is awesome. Um, yeah, I don't think you have for your body. Gabby, definitely does.

I mean, what would you do though, Gab? What if you get, I mean, you're trying to be famous, right? What? You're trying to be famous, right? No. What do you want to be funny or famous? Funny. Okay, there you go. You have no to worry about. Nothing.

I mean, I want to have a house with Florida ceiling windows. Big bathtub. Yeah, really big marble everything. I want a sunken living room. Oh, you want to want a sunken living room? The apartment in the later seasons of Mad Men. Mid-century contemporary. Just fuck my, they're not in my life.

Oh. Woof. Woof. Don't worry, it's not you. It's like a different woman. I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure Cool We're all good and hot Green We're friends. We're cool. My deals if you fuck my wife I get to fuck you Place keeps All right, I'm like I said I'm like I'm going on top I want your legs wrapped around me a little talk glass of fucking I look like we're doing couples yoga. That's what I'm gonna do.

Acro yoga. I'm gonna come in your nuts. This show, this is... Wow. This one's not getting monetized. Let's call this non-monetized. I didn't make money on YouTube this week. Fuck it, crap.

Damn. We didn't let me read the names. Yes, I did the setup for it though. I gotta read these real quick. Let's put the breaks on this show. patreon.com.sasrabbercalie. I'm so far. Thank you so much for joining.

I'm looking at the camera. Are you in show business? You look like you were looking at God. I thought another was a camera behind me. What do you think would this thing? I think we have high quality. It really looks like you were like, thank you to my Patreon, Paul. It looked like you were going into a prayer.

I love it. I have a prayer, Praetion. Thank you so much. Thank you, Lord Father, our Patreon. Thank you for giving me money, a cup of coffee, each. That Starbucks, not a ducking doughnut. This is ASMR. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of. Oh, I like that callback. All right. So listen, these are all beautiful. Thank you.

I, you know, as we a very old YKWD. Yeah. This man's like, shut up. I, uh, also like old YKWD. Yeah. This is probably the new members of my Patreon. Tim, well, now I really, this is where, uh, my, my, Mike likes me reading these because it shows how fucking stupid I am.

Tim Wolfgang, Jeff N's Mingur, Mike likes me reading these because it shows how fucking stupid I am. Kim Wolfgang, Jeff Endsminger, Willis Rothell, Rothell, Joe McMow and thank you. Daniel Connick-Esk was Daniel Connick-Coskey, Tana Rollins, Jam, oh, Jam, bam, Jam. But that one, that one, that one, Jam, was that a Michael Jackson son. Greg Brighawatts, Jeremy Semmelburns, Duante Boosey. None of these could be right. I actually, Chris Kertzow, Brandon Barthock.

Brandon, Bob Alberting. Tracy Hapa. Brent Douglas. Joe Messenger. Messenger. Yep. Daniel watching so much. And not know how to read.

It's the word. Dave Kelly. Jake Stoker. Rawl. Friend. Oh. Jake Stoker, Rawl, uh, Friendo. I'll be your partner. It's either Dennis or Denise. Uh, Dennis or Denise.

Which one? Which one has an e on the end of the one end? Are you doing a key in peel schedule? A, A, Ron, Salt Damon, Paul Millett, MT Bono, Brad Evans, Bobi, Ricky Forrest, Henry Crabdope, and a Tute, and a Netshoot, and a cutting-am. Wait, yo, Matt!

Wait, we got one again. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. Crabdap and a Tute. And grab Dabba Doobie. And then grab Dabba Doobie. He's not gonna throw.

Boby was my favorite. He's joking with me. Henry cracked open a tuten now has fumes to boot-cutting him. Michael Weaver, Rafael Gomez, Justin, Kristie Ma, is Johnston. Ben Gunter, Southeast Asian Moosie Boy. Found you. Found you. Southeast Asian Moosie Boy.

He finally found you, Bobby. They're just trying to fucking criminalize you. I'm trying to make me look. All right, ready? Devon Mortar. These people are trying to fucking criminalize you. I'm trying to make me look, all right, ready? Devon mortar. These people are talking, they're trying to get him killed. Lock head and gourd. What?

Two more. Two more. Where? On the back of the second, on the front of the second. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I didn't look like an ass enough. We have to put paid scopes. Now you're gonna look like I have fucking dementia. You cuck suck up. Thank you for being a member of patreon.com. So I swear Robert Kelly, if you listen to this podcast, if you're a fan of the podcast, please join Patreon.

Whatever level you want to join, you want to be a dude, join the five bug, if you want to be a fucking baller, please join 25 bucks, 10 bucks, whatever you have. The live from the shed is up there organized now. You guys been asking Mike Busted has asked this week, putting into our so you want to watch all the life of Colin Quinn, Ron Bennington, Rich Voss. Let me so many. We just did. Norton is coming out tomorrow. We got any other car Anthony Cumia. We got, um, uh, any other comment. We had to, Anthony Cumia.

We got, um, uh, I got, uh, I got some, I got a producer up there. I got a casting director. We had Gabby's father. Um, I mean, that was a crazy one when you dad came up. That's fun. Um, all the, huh? And it's all up and we get our issue fear. We just shot last week too, which was really fun. So if you want to join patreon.com slash robber Kelly, become a member, even if you support

this podcast, all my one on one's are up there. And every podcast here, you get early before everybody else. That's a ton of shit. So get up there, get on it, become a member. Don't fuck around. Just because I need 700 members. We have four 300 and something. We need 700 by August

Or I'm I'm quitting the party Do you hear that booby? Your clown friends Mousy boy, yeah, if you don't Tell your friends southeast and you should move you boy. I need a we know you got other action boys I need a lot of you We know you got other action boys. I need a lot of you. It's got to be a lot of Moosey Boy. Three things I need.

I need a new house in Upper Westchester. I need a lake house and I need a Rolex Skydweller. OK, that's 20 grand. So I need you guys to help me. I really hope Moosey Boy isn't a racial slur, because it feels like it is. I'll take a Rolex ratio. I just said it three times.

All right, I'll take it. Rolex Datejust 3-1. I just want to be times. All right, I'll take it Rolex. They just really want to be clear. I don't know what I'm saying. All right. Well, this I got to go downstairs and shoot. I wish we were going to wrap up a little bit here because I got to go downstairs, right? Can you text Liz, please? Okay. To see how much time I have. We're going to find out because we want to keep going. Now, real quick, where what do you get going on? Bob okay, what do you get?

I'm recording an album river with me at the I'm trying to talk about Always stepping on me no problem stepping over to the plate say sorry It's a nupe. Doing an album April. Who you film with? A tape in a way. Just on my own.

Really? Because we have a brand new record label, a laugh button with the syndicate and 800 pound gorilla. You should talk to them. Yeah, but then I got to share my money. It's not going to be that much. But if you go with us, we can really get it out there on serious satellite radio. We'll talk after. Yeah, we'll talk after it.

It's at the punchline though. In San Francisco, in San Francisco, I lost my favorite club. Yeah, great as Molly. It's I thought it was in Philly. She's the best. It's in San Fran. Yeah thought it was in Philly. She's the best. It's in San Fran. Yeah, everyone there. Oh, that's awesome.

That's the original. Are you telling? I just miss, I miss, I never mind. I wouldn't, here's your shot. You ready? I was too busy thinking about it. All right, go ahead. Thank you.

You know what? You fucked it up again. I got a pot. I got my own podcast dropping March 3rd with all things comedy. What's it called? Devils advocate with Rosebud Baker. Oh cool. And I have, I'm excited.

That's it. I mean, yeah, that's it. And you're out in LA right now. Oh, and I'm going to be in Huntsville with Andy on March. Who's Andy? Don't worry about it. Okay. Nobody.

March 6 and 7. That's sad. That's a little pack. Mark six and seven. And you guys doing shows together? Yeah. Okay. Now, can I ask this question real quick? Yeah.

Who's headlighting? Usually me, but she's headlighting. Not usually you. It's pretty even. We've gone back and forth. I think it's been... This is not going to work out. I think it will.

Listen. Well, here's the thing. The odds are good. Want so much attention, she has gotten all these reps and they're just working her, their asses off. So I have to kind of like,

you know, I have to get some of the draft of, you know, the cash flow, just to kind of work in the part. Yeah, shooting out myself. I don't know Wednesday and fucking Pekipsi. What are you doing it again? San Francisco. Oh, sorry.

Yeah. She's. Third largest city in the United States. One of the most famous clubs. She's a, uh, anywhere. Yeah, I got home now. But she's doing like a mall in Alabama. Let's fucking celebrate her.

Listen, I'm settling for less in a lot of different areas of my life at the moment. Oh, man. Like black men eat pussy. Oh, God. Let me tell you something. We'll talk about it later. Okay.

But they eat a lot more than pussy. And we can get it. Wait, stop, stop, stop. 11-11, let's make a wish. He won't go near my ass. It's 11-11, make a wish. Wish for that. That was my wish for you too.

Make me, I hope it happens. You want to eat your butthole? I don't, there's some private stuff that I can't share. But you... I don't wife, did fucking deal. Did you ask a question? Does her, it does her ass look like my bellybutt? Yes, it does.

It does not. It looks like Quato from the Puerto Rico. I see my grandma's face in it. Wait. It's not for me. I see my grandma's face in it. Why won't you eat her butt? You can see your heart beat.

He's very vanilla in bed. That's not true. I just- What the fuck is wrong with- Literally all I- The only thing I don't do- He says it on stage. It's literally the only thing I vanilla in bed. That's not true. I just... Oh, what the fuck is wrong with this? I literally... The only thing I don't do... He says it on stage. It's literally the only thing I have.

Why won't you eat us? He doesn't really talk dirty either that much. Are you... I fucking... He says I'm really beautiful and that he loves me. Oh, fuck off. I'm so... It's so stupid. All these dumb women want to be treated like shit in the bedroom.

Why can't I find a nice guy? Because you want to be desecrated. Like fucking ISIS. Like you want your pussy treated like ISIS is treating a Buddhist fucking temple. Can I say something real quick? I want to say something. I got worked up and I'm with ya.

Cause I went to buy a book the other day. Now I bought Harry Potter and then I was gonna get this book. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. Yeah. But I, and then I go in. That was the book.

I go in and I start reading these fucking books that my wife got. Here's the fucking, you know, okay, you know, you want to be treated with respect and everything. Okay, for me, but apparently, you have the other guy, wicked, disaster, tricked, true, what? Cove it. These are the book she bought and she read.

Like, you're already read. They're like mystery, Cove it. Dance things. Yes, sweet disgrace. Lover reborn. This is going rock me. Yeah. Rock me.

How about this? How about this? The rebel? The rebel? The rebel? Unforgettable lady, all right? Leaping hearts? What the fuck? Romo for hire?

Hearts of gold. Holiday bound with a lady tied up. What the fuck is this? Who would do it? South Asian moosey boy. Pleasure nights. Pleasure, and then you got Rob Losebook. South Asian Moosey Pleasure nights That you got Rob Lose book Oh, listen to the rad dude cast right oh, yeah right on it

I'm right on it charging that boat up. Oh my god something just happened to my ear I'm just gonna so rad dude cast. Yeah, let's the rad Who's on this with Greg Stohn and Brendan Aaron. I love you guys, man You guys I tell you I found you guys by accident really well you came on the show Yeah, they was she booked them and I was like what no, oh somebody booked. I was a you I don't know you can't guys came on. I was like oh this is gonna be weird You know because I always had the answer or I had you you know, Joe and Lewis, it was this fucking, just machine, we were just murdering.

And then as soon as they got some success from my podcast, they just cut me off and cook off and stole everything I gave them and fucking moved on. Yeah, okay, good, Dan, fucking, bonfire. Sounds very similar to the fucking, right cast, okay, fucking gas, dude, you know, nice talking to you.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But anyways, God bless, my service. right cast okay fucking gas did you know nice talking to you But anyways God bless Anyways Oh my god the neck roll great The red dude cast lost appearance. Let's get rid of the chairs. What's up? Oh Really? Oh, yeah, we like a mobile room What Greg was digging in the chair. Oh, right. Yeah, he was also the chair. Oh, yeah, we used to get curtains.

Yeah, we had to get curtains. And we had to get rid of the chairs because we made him get naked. What do we play? Whoever's for the takeoff clothes. Yeah, whoever's trying to do a clean podcast because I want to get monetized. And I can't, I've been,

we don't really, we really get monetized. You have to be clean to monetize. Yeah, you do. And, um do and and I Gonna go But yeah, they I was very happy to find and you know what I was very happy to find you too and now through her I found you very funny. I hope you guys make it if you don't you can come back individually

Let me tell you something we're gonna make it. I know I mean to him But it's on post when I'm nice to him. It's disgusting. How many, how many years do I have? Huh? How many years do I yet? I think we're in it for a long haul. Okay, so I give you three years. Huh? Three years, if you make it past three years, I'll give you a hundred dollars.

That's it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Robbie. Thank you. Thank you so much for Facebook. That's the best. Book in Daddy Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. It's the best fucking daddy warbox across the table. If we make it all for us a quarter.

Hold on. If we make it three years, you have to buy us dinner at the herb farm. What's the herb farm you had in there? What's that place upstate? The fucking. Oh, the, um, what's that? The inn? Yeah.

Yeah. What is it? It's like a $500 meal. Yeah. Oh, without the courses. You know, I'm talking about the data. Yeah, they got sweet potato. We've probably never been there since you're offering $100 as a reward. But first of all, I've been to Noma in open Denmark.

Yeah. It was $600 a pop. Okay. The best restaurant in the world. Was it good? It was unfuckin' believable. Yeah. And I regret that me and fucking Ari,

before we, I was like, no pictures, we go to remember it for some stupid gum reason. We should've took photos of everything. I don't remember anything we ate. I'm like, fuck it, 50 years old. I'm like, fuck, I don't have it. The memory gone. I wanted the picture of the reindeer,

the fried reindeer moss on a rock. I don't got it. Clark's saying they had ants that he's like, I mean, chocolate out of a mushroom.. I don't got it. Clark's second hand answer. He's like, lemon. I mean, chocolate out of a mushroom. And I don't remember it. All right. Anyways, I say 100 bucks.

If you don't want, I mean, it's yeah, fine. We'll do it. I'll take 100 bucks. I 100 bucks. What do I get? 100 bucks. You can have our kids. Okay.

Okay. What do you got? What do I get? Read my things real quick. Bobbi at Robert Kelly live. Call me Uncle Bobby. I love that. I want to.

Okay. I love that. The Patreon at Robert Kelly live. You're the Harnia. Bobby will be at MacGuby's this weekend. If you're watching on the Patreon, Creeps with Kids, Grab a seat theater, Tampa, Atlanta, Detroit,

appreciate it. Creams with Kids.com go there, get where everywhere. We're still doing this thing. We had one show in Philly sold it out and went to over 20 theaters across the Easton Seabird. So hopefully we'll take it over to the middle of the country up into Canada and we'll keep it going. We'll, I know you guys are all emailing me, come here,

come there, we're trying. That's Jack, Beth, South, and Moon Tower. Yep, and South by Southwest. That's all these South by. I'm going all three of them, yeah, good. We'll come and do the podcast with me. I will. We're doing it there live.

And then are you going to? Greg and I will both be there. Fuck, yeah. That's gonna be a good podcast. Oh, coming to. You coming to? Yeah, maybe not. But you guys.

You guys are very cool. We'll do. You need you to a one on one. No, it's a guy I have to sell Rosebud's merch. You come to yeah, maybe not but you guys Need you a one-on-one I have to sell Rosebud's merch That's what he said the first time first time we had sex he pulls out he goes I'm not I'm never selling your merch What do you get Gavin? Besides awful taste. Yeah, but you know what? It matches your outfit. I was a pencil pouch. I have a show at the stand first Tuesday of every month.

Listen to this lineup. She's got more the fucking divino. Go ahead. Everyone said, every first Wednesday, I'll jiggy with it in Brooklyn. I'm going to be in LA at the comedy store on the 6th of April at APM. Don't and I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast available everywhere. Follow me on Instagram, I'll be his bride. Yeah, fucking enthusiasm and your drive. You love it. I do love it.

All right, what do you got? Follow me at Mike Kisores. You can also hear me on history, IE does, with the honestist of Papa, his aggressive, effido and I help out with Keping Jail as well. He, yeah, you're fucking doing a lot of shit. And you're fucking kicking ass comedy wise. I need to talk to you after this. No, no, no, no. Yes, I know. Please talk to all things comedy tonight.

No, they're the fucking shit. Talk to them. Come over here. You want to like that? You want to come over here? Come over here. Come on over here. Come on over here. Come to the new come to papa. Come on over here. Do it alone. Come to the new come to Papa. Yeah.

But you know, we're a lot. Leave the big, the big pond where you're a little fish. Come to the little. I was really just wondering if I could borrow the studio. Everyone's in a while. Yeah, for 150 bucks. Great. Yeah, there you go.

Make your money. It's all about money. I am making money. Well, then pay it. Um, so anyways, what do you got? Oh, come on. I make you know every week not that Chinese C H E. E. N. E. Y. Buy Bobby's merch and you can buy DeVito's merch too. I made that shit too. Oh, yeah, he's the best. He's the you

can talk to him. Want to talk to him? Yeah. Oh, this is them. They want to sell my merch with Andy? A partnership. You look like you sell. She'd sell essential oils after a show. She does. Um, all right. So what else we got? That's it for dinner? Are we forgetting something?

Come on. Isn't there a list of things that was supposed to say? You did the list. We did them all. We did the list. Yeah. We did. Zach, what are you got?

That's you. You have apparently you don't have a mic. He's under a table. don't have a mic. He's under a table. You not have a mic. Why? Because they're all over here. He said, Zach, we need a mic for Zach.

Win! Oh, anyways, you guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next week. You know what? The listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. to the listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

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