Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Skankfest 2019: LIVE!
Episode Date: July 29, 2019We rock out Skankfest with Luis J Gomez, Joe List, Mike Cannon and Rich Vos joining Bobby! We go all out as Luis crowns a successor to his previous live show championship! Learn more about your ad cho...ices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth.
This is going to be a clash to fire.
It's podcast, it's no rules.
I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?
Can I get a microphone?
No, that's so far.
That was trying to keep it like a comic.
I have a bunch? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-catch.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down,
and sometimes it's hilarious,
sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin!
That's how it all holds her.
That's how you motherfuckers want her to do it.
My podcast is popular enough
where I might affect somebody's life.
You never know. What's up fuckers? I would stage dive like Lewis but I'd fucking kill one of you. How
you doing, you guys ready to fucking do this?
All right, of course fucking two people late
Lewis is nowhere to be found and fucking rich boss is trying to find a deal of parking
I'm using spot hero
But I want to give it up give it it up for Joe Liss, one of the regs. Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
What are you fucking dick van Dyke?
What was that?
It's a goof.
Oh, you're dead.
That was intentional.
That was a gag.
Oh, good.
Of course, Dan Soda's downstairs with this more popular show. Yes. He got another fat guy to be
around. Excellent, excellent booking job. I think the
bookers, the people that produce it might be on drugs between
you and I. I think everybody here is on drugs, except for me
and you. We're the only fucking sober guys here. Yeah, but we
blew each other. That's kind of like a drug. Yeah, especially
your long fucking cock.
I've seen Joe's cock a lot
because every time we FaceTime we'll be talking for like 20 minutes and then right at the end he just pulls the camera down and is dicks been out the whole time
and it's hard. Yeah, my heart is it's funnier.
Yeah, but we were talking about career shit. We're talking about life. I'm talking about sad shit
You'd think it's just rock hard the whole time. I really want your career
Fucking you can have it. Whoa look at this. We can do a little. Yeah, go ahead. Do you think go ahead jump on it
I'm sure the drummer will fucking love that
Is some fucking middle-age fucking long here to guide beat the shit out of you on stage
Those were fucking tuned, man!
Aren't you a middle-aged drummer?
No.
I played one on TV.
All right.
Yeah.
You can drum.
I can drum fucking AC-DC.
That's it.
They're pretty good.
They're all run.
They're all run.
Yeah, he's fucking gone.
We got, Eddie, can one of you fucking lunatics fight, whatever Adderall rant Lewis is on right now.
Gastiginal, we're gonna fucking, I'm telling you,
it's gonna be great, it's gonna be great.
It's gonna be good, we're gonna get OP, shut up.
Go find, you're not getting OP, it's not happening.
This isn't even the show, we've never done the show this way.
What, which is me and you?
Yeah, we have it.
No, this is stupid.
All right, bring mushy mic up.
Come on up, let's bring, you know, mush, give it up for mush.
That's the worst applause of the festival, hilarious.
Welcome to my channel.
You're all got better applause.
They love you.
What about Mike?
You want to come up, Mike Cheney?
Does anybody know Mike?
Like at least you get Mike.
I know Mike's tail over there.
That's Mike on Jesus Christ.
That's Mike Cannon at least.
No, but I said Mike because Mike Cannon took a step.
Oh yeah, look at me.
What about Mike Cannon?
You guys know Mike Cannon?
Yeah.
Get up here.
No, no, no, no, I didn't mean you come up.
I just, we'll see if they knew.
You know, Mike, I'm kidding.
Come up, Mike, get the fuck out of here beating
No, you can take this one. Do you think this is a good idea for a podcast Mike cannon cannon potter
What the fuck does that mean? It's like cannon fodder, but potter
All right, I will judge by the crowd's response now
Well, that's the case. You're gonna fire Mike.
I just want Mike taking hat off for a second. Does Mike look like an owl?
Mike looks like a dead damned lion.
We just blow his hair right off. It looks like one of those things.
I'm too stupid to know what that is.
I always thought those were the yellow things.
Um, yeah, has anybody found Lewis?
Oh, good.
Okay, good podcasting.
Way to put it up, you fucking cocks up.
Yeah, dude, we're gonna do it.
Where's, what about fucking rich boss?
Where's he?
From where?
From where?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Maybe he stopped at a speed therapist. From where?
Maybe he stopped at a speed therapist
That's fucked up. He's 62.
There is a ring store two blocks away.
Fuck boss, I like Mike. His. His rings bug me more than fucking anything.
It is one which looks stupid, but then two, and then a third one on the other hand.
What are they?
They're fucking diamonds.
I've never seen Vienna sausages shimmer.
Those are fucking breakfast sausages, those little fingers. He's scared.
When he points them at me, I feel like they're scared me. Yeah. Yeah. They're like little
fucking gypsy fingers like it's like a determined down syndrome kids. Can't say that anymore,
Mike. Yeah. You got to say retard at this festival. Oh, right up the gate. I'm kidding.
Look, the one girl just went that's terrible
That's the one girl at the festival. You know what I'm saying? Watch it back
I know there's a couple look. I see I can see five right? Yeah, where this five girls those guys over there
Sorry, they're not guys
God I They're not guys. Oh God. Hi, good to know.
Sorry, you.
There's one, two, three, four girls.
And then one chick just tripped.
But she works for the festival.
She does.
Oh, Jamie, do you want to come up?
Yeah.
Wow, he's cocky, huh?
Mike, do you guys know Mike?
Do you want Mike up here?
But he has Chris.
Oh, sorry.
That's Mike. Chris, Jamie, everybody. That's my Chris Cheney, everybody.
He's, he's, all right, all right, goodbye.
Listen, it's not working, Chris.
Who is that guy?
Is it on the photos now?
Because he's in, he's great.
He's a fucking great comic.
I'll let one a do a couple minutes.
Oh.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Apparently you're not as dumb as I thought you would be.
Oh, here he is, everybody, the fucking legend.
Right there, right there.
Sorry, I'm late, man.
What, why are you late?
I guess I walk from Jersey, you fucking asshole, traffic.
Every fucking highway coming to Brooklyn.
Yeah, it's Jersey going into
New York. I should have. I'm like, you never did traffic before. It's also, it's also Saturday.
So it's your people just milling about. First calm down, Jim Lewis, let's hair. It's a
hair cut. I fucking flew to get a hip haircut. I think so.
I fucking flew to get him.
Glad I got you to make it to my favorite podcast.
And thank you for having me.
Sorry, I'm late.
Were you late because you were winning the Super Bowl?
No.
No.
I wish.
Listen, this is true.
I was getting it.
Can we listen?
Hold on.
I was late. Go ahead. I don't want we listen? Hold on. I was right.
Go ahead.
I don't want to go back in front of it.
We do mean to each other.
Wait, we have to start being nice.
That was nice.
Let's talk.
I'm saying a ring.
It's a super bowl ring.
Let's do another podcast, dude.
We'll talk about, you know, let's talk about like aliens.
Let's talk about, let's talk about, let's talk about, and even who throw the topic, we're going to cover it with no negativity. Stop running by talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Anyone who throw it a topic, we're going to cover it with no negativity.
Stop running by talk.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's talk about health.
Name up.
I'm trying to be positive.
Yeah, that's a positive thing.
I know what that means.
You should eat a sandwich and you should not eat one.
Okay.
I think mine was not.
You sound like you're eating a sandwich.
I guess good. See, sound like you're eating a sandwich
See how can you not be
We have to end this all right now. We have to be positive. Okay, let's be guys
Ain't no not no, we want to be PG. we want to make it, we want it to be huge. Name up.
What is it?
What's that?
But no.
Can we, I say we fucking burn this one.
We should make it, hell yeah.
Should we make it an annual thing?
We just burn, speaking of stupid hats, here comes one.
Where?
Where the fuck were you? Wait a minute, I have something for you Lewis. Lewis.
Lewis, that's right. We get it. You're gone. Sit down. Fucking 100 people know you out of here. Nobody knows you. Nobody in the business is senior special except for these 200 people
Funny idea. Let's have a festival with a
Radio Lewis you sit here Mike you sit right on the other side, but you might stick around my
Terry the masculinity you made him move further away
No, because I gotta talk to you and I don't want to fucking
Mike remind me I five for you to you, and I don't want to fucking make way. Hold on though.
Mike, remind me at five for you
to go put money in the meter from my phone.
I have something made for you.
What you have made for me?
Okay, Korea.
Korea.
A new special.
Listen.
Listen, no, wait, we have to.
I was so glad I was about to do stand up for the first time
since I released a special yesterday, and I have no jokes was so glad I was about to do stand-up for the first time since I released a special yesterday and I have no jokes.
And when I was about to say joke, I wish if you're interrupted and fucking pro wrestling took away my show and I was like, thank God.
You have a new, you have a new guy.
I have a new guy.
Let's hear what's the premise of the first show?
Oh, it's rape.
What are you doing, a double album?
You get a rape joke on the first one you're fucking Reacon
If Joe did a rape joke that'd be like wow you know a rape joke. We're like yeah, we get it
Joe you want a rape joke she'd have to be four with his strength, okay? That was a little wordy
Voss why why would you decide to put gum in your mouth before broadcast? Yeah, your mouth is wet and not wet.
I know.
You need to put bread in your gum.
Oh, no, no, no.
Sit over here, my.
Sit over here.
You got mine.
Sit there.
Drink, drink Lewis's coffee.
Listen.
So I am a little wet today.
Yeah, you excite me, Bobby. So anyways, Lewis, I got something made for you. You guys all
know that around a long time ago, Lewis did a blowjob competition with Bailey J. Lewis
hands down who fucking won Bailey J. She's a transgendered woman, really hot. Like we don't know.
Guys, training.
It's our audience, they don't speak to politically corrective.
Yeah, you have to train his late.
Joe.
It's the truth.
That's true.
That's true.
That's true.
That was fucking great.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
A couple of people did like a, ooh, and fuck you.
What have you ever come up with?
You fucking asshole. Fuck your mother. Fucking asshole. I appreciate it. A couple of people did like a ooh and fuck you. What have you ever come up with? You fucking asshole.
Fuck your mother. Fucking assholes. Jesus. Sorry. Sorry.
He's right. Fuck them for not like and play on words.
Fuck them. Okay. So far I'm for six. I think we're watching because he's on
somebody these shows that he's so present present we're watching him lose his mind
I
Thought Mike just said something
I love that thank you Joe. I appreciate it. Oh, what I know. Well, we'll talk later
All right, so I got something made for you guys
know that he sucked the mean dick.
I had, you know, because Lewis is fucking
doesn't give a shit, fuck you, I'll suck a dick,
I'll do a blood, because that's the way he is.
He doesn't give a fuck until he was on NBC
and he begged me to take the video down,
because he didn't even want it a shot at a real career.
And it didn't happen, so then he let me put it back up.
Well, it's about to happen again, because my son's about to be in age to Google me so I have to take it down again
Probably you're gonna make me take it down man come on don't live in the past you say the end word
You see the end word 900 times. Yeah, it was my son's first word
Guess who mommy's sleeping with? Is she really? Oh yeah, her new boyfriend's a black guy. Oh no! Good for her.
That's the best you guys are sure I will come.
That's an easy joke, but it's a good one.
That's a good one.
That's an idiot.
Oh, shit.
What we...
What's the gift?
I want to know the gift.
I got this gift for you because you're the champion.
You won.
Bailey packed the fuck out.
Yeah.
Mike, bring him his gift.
I hope it's Judy Carter's How to do Stand Up.
You put it right here Mike
Did he really you really blew me I want to know he blew me?
I put a dildo through my pants and he went up and sucked me off
But let me tell you so I said dildo right buddy was a dildo, but Lewis fuck Mike you get out of my fucking way
That means you are fucking
Mexican this is the only person that can eclipse Bobby.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Thank God I brought Canon on this fucking show instead.
We got you a champion, chip fucking belt.
Oh, Lewis Gomez.
Lewis Gomez.
Lewis Gomez.
Lewis, you're a champion.
Lewis, you're a champion.
Lewis, you're a champion.
The champion. You got to put it over your shoulder. It doesn. First day Gomez. First day Gomez. The champion.
You gotta put it over your shoulder.
It doesn't fit.
Listen.
Oh, the dip.
Oh.
You broke the dip.
Wow, a Norton chance.
What is this?
This is what you had made.
You mean, what are your fucking interns?
Yeah, Mike made it this afternoon.
Can it make this?
No, the other Mike, not him.
Just put it back on fix it.
Fix the cock.
Yeah, it's not great because he's supposed to be sleeping
just put it down, put it down, put it down.
Awol's typically sleep during the day.
I liked that.
That was a good one.
All right, the Awol shit's not working.
I've noticed.
Yeah, look at the way you're excited.
You want to give the who do you like it?
That was an L joke
I already did that joke your hat. Oh, we're good. Sorry. Yeah. What are you gonna do with that?
What my instant is to suck that
You guys saw what happened when Ari Shafir tried to give me the suckers deck, right?
Yeah, so like you get my back. I say you give up the belt you put the belt up right now on the line
I put the I put the belt on the line right now anybody and I got a special fucking thing right now
Yes, I'm so we got some prizes. Yeah prizes
This is,
what? Oh.
That's right son.
We had Louis' actual cock.
This is a replica.
This is a replica of his day.
That's his day.
Hold on, I want to say this.
That is 80% hard.
I swear to God, dude, you know,
you know, un-sensitious,
a fuck a tube of gel.
I couldn't take a blue chew.
I had 30 minutes just today a fucka tube of gel.
I couldn't take a blue chew.
I had 30 minutes just today.
I ran out of here.
I was late for Doug Loves movies
because I was fucking a tube.
What?
Is that a wart or a fucking apocalypse?
It's not a wart.
Is that a big South American apocalypse, though, Vain?
What is that nugget right there?
The Vain?
Is that a Vain?
It's a Vain, don't you?
Look at him watch out. It's a V vein. Look, I got a nice shaped cock.
What do you do have a nice cock? That's pretty thick. That's a, you want to hold it?
I want to sleep with it. It's gonna look bigger in your hands. Ha have baby wipes. We have a baby wipe, Mikey got baby wipes, right?
Oh, you better even hotter, baby wipes.
Yeah.
Lewis, but who's gonna hold the deck?
I gotta put it in my pants.
You're gonna put it in your pants.
Yeah.
If somebody comes up and they pay for the first five volunteers,
okay, it appears that you can't be a woman
because this is being me two things.
So we gotta have dudes. No, this this how much women fucking suck, right?
We all want to watch a couple chicks come up here and suck a dick, but I'm not gonna fucking go, look, she's ready, look.
What's your hand down? It's not happening.
It's gotta be dudes, right? Because I'm not going to fucking career this.
Yeah, why would we want a chick to do it?
Yeah, I know. That's not fun.
I'd love to see this big hairy fucking wrestler just put down your fucking apocalyptic.
You're his spit on it.
You're dick.
My dick is thicker than that guy in the front row's body right there.
And also we both have AIDS.
Is this the link to get cut off quite a bit?
Yeah, the balls are cut off.
They didn't put the ball. Yeah, there's no balls. It cuts off quite a bit? Yeah, the balls are cut off. They didn't put the balls.
Yeah, there's no balls. It cuts off a little bit.
Here's the thing. I wasn't completely erect.
Fuck.
I wasn't completely erect. What do you want me to say?
I'm working on it.
I don't even know what you're talking about. That's a fine dick to me.
That's a fucking.
Also, I love how it fucking dog legs right.
Yeah. That's because it's tired.
No, it was weak.
I don't even know if his dick is high.
What's this little thing at the top?
It's the hole.
It's really good detail.
Look, it's the fucking hole.
It looks like a doctor, Sioux Street.
I really does.
Why can't I stop holding it?
I don't mind if I can't stop.
Once you touch it, you can't just get dicked. You have a long dick it. I don't mind if I can't stop. Once you touch it, you get it.
You have a long dick hole.
I know.
Yeah, it's like it's like a vagina.
Yeah, it looks like a, it looks like a,
it's more when baby James was born.
Yeah.
That's nice, dude.
I'm in place.
Nice.
Thanks, man.
But here's why I'm on a barricade anymore,
because I used to have a small dick.
I'm, I'm, when you were a small to have a small deck. I'm gonna put it on the side of the small deck.
This is my whole life.
But here's the thing.
I'm actually really impressed because,
no, that's not small.
I mean, the fact that you have Puerto Rican and half smurf.
That's a nice, that's a nice, uh,
because it's blue.
So was the joke?
Yeah. It's not like a wedding in preschool.? Yeah, it's going to be like a preschool.
Yeah, it's actually glow in the dark.
Is it?
I swear to God, it is.
Yeah, they get to keep the dick.
Of course, the winner can keep the dick.
Here's what they're going to get.
You get to keep the dick, okay?
You get an infinite CBD prize pack worth over $150.
You can wipe away the shame of what you just did.
Yeah.
You get a smoked honey prize pack, where do you be a few? You can wipe away the shame of what you just did
Smoke-toney prize pack ready to be a few the Vitt cartridge of smoke-toney who are fucking awesome They're so cool. They're a couple of drug addicts are in now
And overall you get the belt which is the most important part of all and you are the new YKWD
World Blowjob champion and I want to give you a t-shirt too. Mike, bring the t-shirt up here.
It's just one of Bobby's t-shirts.
And you get one of fucking Vos and Prince.
You get a ring.
Whatever ring you want.
That's it.
Just throw it up here.
Wow, these are the Y-K-W-D not merch pump printed t-shirts.
Yeah, well, fucking print them.
What are you going to say?
You got one printer in a fucking lunatic in there doing fucking one shirt a day. What are you going to say? You got one printer in a fucking lunatic in there doing fucking one shirt a day.
What are you going to say?
You're in a fucking one bedroom in the East Village.
What the fuck?
Get your shit to get a hat boy.
All right, who's up?
Who's going to blow Lewis?
I'd like to wait for it.
We got one right there.
One guy right there.
We're going to hit it.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Stand right here. One right here. We got one fucking mother fuckers.
Come on guys. Number two. Oh, yeah.
Boy, it's just gonna kill on the audio. Number two right here. We got number two.
Yeah.
That looks like a little.
That looks like a double Lewis. Look at that. You got a double Lewis. Hahaha. You got a smoke-toney prize bag in free weed, free CBD.
You get the dick.
It's your funny.
You could fuck, we had never thought Black Guy no way.
Get up here.
No way.
No fuck, no fuck, no fuck you.
Look at this.
I could have talked.
Now we're fucking 2019.
Yeah.
This is multi-culture, motherfuckers. A white guy, a Mexican and a Black 2019. Yeah. This is called the cultural mother bus,
a white guy, a Mexican and a black guy.
Yeah.
We just did one gay guy and we know you're out there.
He's got a gay.
He's got a black.
We got a double header, two checks.
Wow.
Fuck.
Yeah, that was amazing.
You're going to get a sick palm out of this deal.
This guy's going to make me actually come.
Wait, that was the most amazing gay reveal ever.
You were like Wolverine.
No, the best nailist ever.
Look at his nail pie.
Look at his nail pie.
No, that's not what you're saying.
It's fucking amazing.
Is that how you came up to your parents?
Just.
Yes.
That was awesome.
Anymore, we didn't have five.
I love that you're like, give me five.
Come on, we need two more people that can do this.
It's crazy.
I find, you know what, hold on, hold on.
I will throw in a free pair of tickets to the next,
which was announced today,
so maybe you guys got in a flyer.
Skankfest South, Skankfest in Houston, March 28th, 29th,
Skankfest, Skankfest, the first ever non-New York City skankfest,
we're still doing skankfest in New York,
but you get a free pair of all access passes
to Skankfest South at the Secret Group in Houston.
March 28th, 29th, 2020.
Wow.
We got somebody else.
Yeah, number four.
We, we saw it.
We saw it.
We saw it.
Come on, from a church of what's happening now.
That's the way. Wow.
Look at that.
We have a celebrity competitor.
We have a puppy and Lewis is stunt up.
I know.
You have to do with the backpack on.
That's the only way it gets hard.
I love it. The fucking least of that.
Lee, I hope you went all of this right now.
I'm going to throw in two tickets, VIP backstage, creeps with kids.
One of our shows coming up in October, me, Vos, Bennington, and Florentine in New York,
in New York area.
You guys get those tickets free still.
This is the last day, too.
You get to-
I said back.
I don't know if that's great.
It feels like a charity auction, but there's no charity. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard.
This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. This is the standard. I think five things. Move over here. Go over this.
By the way, can we talk about for a moment when Mike's dog was sick and then Lewis was like,
every all of us will put in a thousand bucks and then Lewis never fucking put in.
No, I only want to put in the fucking nut.
You never put it in.
Well, where's Mike Suarez?
Suarez.
Suarez.
Where did he put it in? After the dog died. Hold on, where's Mike Suarez? Suarez. Suarez. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but Boston, I put money in, you put like 25 bucks for 5 to 2.
Yeah, but Vos put it in there.
They put 250, you put last, but you told me it was gonna be.
I told you it's gonna be last, because I don't like you as much as they do.
I don't like it at all.
Who him?
Yeah.
You don't like Mike Suarez?
Yeah.
How he's a good guy.
Come on.
It's not to like a service fat. Yeah, that's your fan base asshole.
Yeah, look, are you looking at it
in these people?
No, there's your
taking the evolution of me
looking bulldog up here.
All right, let's get to some dick
sucking for God's sakes.
We should just say fuck it and
just blow each other.
Let's just do that.
But if I was at all funny, I would have painted my dick blue before the show.
And taking a blue chill.
Yeah.
So you agree you're not funny.
What's the stage-diving policy here?
We do it!
If you listen to I-Stage-Dove to Open-Up Legion Sanchez today, this crowd will lift you
fucking front and back right now, Joe.
What about me?
We will need some heavy machinery to assist.
It's like the opposite of the macy's day parade
Cannon Potter
Boss feel free to say something I can't go. Joe. Joe. Have you ever crowdsurfed?
From the 90s. What are you shit me? I'm a fucking rock and roll. You've crowdsurfed? From the 90s, what are you, shit me?
I'm a fucking rock and roll.
You crowdsurf, where'd you crowdsurf?
What's your concept?
WBCN River Rave.
Thank you.
She was there.
I got a witness.
No, I crowdsurfed all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So crowdsurf is gangfests right now.
All right, what do you guys think?
Joe, take your wallet.
Take your wallet out.
Joe, take your wallet out.
Take your wallet out.
Joe, take your wallet.
Take your wallet out.
Joe, take your wallet out.
Don't let it in your wallet.
Just take your wallet.
Why, there's no money.
Yeah.
And leave it.
And I did it yesterday.
They literally pulled my pants out and
it's fingered my ass hole.
Leave you still.
No, no, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe,
Wait, wait, wait, Joe,
lose the fucking necklaces.
Not the necklaces. The glasses. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe Joe wait wait wait, Joe lose the fucking necklaces
Give you a hundred dollars if you throw them against home
A hundred dollars you hawks immigrants that fucking ball Joe
Joe bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it bring it back bring it back bring it back bring it bring it back bring it back bring it back Fuck you. Bobby Kelly is gonna go crowdsurf right now. Oh my god.
Yeah, Bobby Kelly.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm going to stop! I'm going to stop! I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop!
I'm going to stop! I'm going done. I'm quitting the business. That was the best thing I ever did. Look how tired
everybody is. Like you worked on the railroad. Was fucked up. There's no photographing evidence
because everyone was using both their hands.
I love what chanting Bobby.
We should be chanting Skats.
Skats.
Skats.
Skats.
Skats.
Skats.
Everybody's too tired to chant.
Are those fun thing guys?
That lady was so scared.
And that thing guy was like
Well, I fucking just a huge hole over here, so thank you for whoever came and ran over and saved my ass over there
Oh, that was the greatest thing ever. That was fun. All right. Who's sucking a dick?
Let's get back to business who's winning that fucking dick out
All right, I just baby wiped it off,
slipped that suck.
What the fuck, I'm sober, you asshole.
That smells good, what is that?
Ah!
All right, ready?
All right, get up here, come around.
I'm doing it, who are the judges?
Well, where are the judges?
And there are the judges, we're gonna go buy applause.
Oh, okay.
Now listen, I want you to stop, before you do this, don't think you just gonna come up
and put a dig in your mouth.
Think about moves.
Think about what you like, what you don't like.
Think about, you know what I mean?
Think about the children.
Maybe Ditto, his ass a little.
Stop then.
Be creative.
Be unique.
Don't just stop.
Well look how fucking nervous this Mexican is.
Do you really think sweating?
I know. He's sweating like Trump is coming in the room.
War is, war is.
Boss is back. Boss is back. Boss has a stupid hat. Boss is a stick.
No, all right.
Are you ready? Who's going first?
You want to go first?
We're going older. We're going up with our names.
I love that he's acting like he doesn't have a socket deck.
I know.
He's acting all coy.
Like I've never done this before.
He's playing, accepting my truck on 95.
He looks like he's in under the bridge blow job.
He looks like he's going, all right.
I put your hoodie right here.
What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,
what are you, these are professional.
He's a professional. Watch's a professional watch out.
He's playing boy.
What time you go ring the bell in the tower tonight.
Will you hold the mic up for Lewis?
So he can put the mic down.
What do you mean?
I want your hands free.
Okay.
We put that up.
We put that up there.
Just hold the mic up to Lewis's face.
Under the bridge blow job guy underrated line of the day.
I wait, wait, wait, wait, I gotta get a portrait photo of this.
Oh, that's, I'm really trying to make my dick bigger.
I can't.
There you go.
Take it easy.
Oh, I got it.
Give me a little kiss.
I ready?
All right, now on the count of three.
How long has he had?
I'm gonna have to tell the heat coach.
Two minutes.
No, not two minutes. You're gonna know not to move
you. What are you? What are you?
Game. No, yeah, it's all gonna have hard off. Two minutes each. No, I want you.
10 seconds. Come on, man. We got to do it. We do 15 seconds. You start with a little
bit. I'm gonna kiss. Joe's gonna time it. 10 seconds. Here we go. You're not gonna
really get in a real judgment in 10 seconds of a blowjob. Here we go. you're not gonna really get in real judgment in 10 seconds of a blowjob I went you put the cry your mouth out. You want some water here wet your lips. I'm deducting points already
Mike Mike were with the judges. I will deduct points for that this man is disgusting. Oh
Yeah, yeah
You're gonna get age from a fake dick
Put the put the CBD fucking pen down here, little dick?
I know.
It's weird.
All right, whatever.
15 seconds, 15 seconds, three seconds.
Three, two, one, go.
Go.
Oh.
The puppy dog.
He's doing the puppy dog.
I like that.
All right, like that.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh, good technique. Wait, you only got five seconds. Five seconds. I like that oh
Good technique wait you only got five seconds put that in your mouth
Times up I was fucking good
That was exactly what I like. That's, yo man, every move.
Hold on, here's my card.
Give me a, have you ever been in a BMW?
That was very good job.
I liked the little, what's your name?
I think you're, what's your name?
His name is Winner.
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Petener Pete. Pete, Pete, Pete.
That's the big, I Pete.
The only problem Bobby is he did a lot of,
he's four guy.
I like that.
Yeah, no, he's four.
I like that.
We got one good for him.
Let's judge it like Americans, Americans fucking.
I go first and say I was going to call my cox act.
Yes.
You should go last.
Yeah.
Because you're the guy.
Fine, yeah.
You're Simon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got to judge you. Yeah. Because you're the guy. Yeah. You're Simon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he put it in his mouth long enough. I mean, for me, I would have came that quick.
But I thought the four-er playing was good up front.
Here's the thing, if I may go next.
Yes.
Yeah, you only have 15 seconds, so you can only allow to do a snippet.
So we only have to assume what the rest of the blowjob would be.
You're right.
He did a nice little tease, and then a deep throw.
He showed his intangible.
He showed the different moves.
He knocked his face around a little bit. He butter got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible.
He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's got to load his intangible. He's like the dog that can't catch a piece of bread. I like that. I haven't seen that in a long time.
Yeah.
So I like that.
You came, you went in the fucking archives,
pulled out the puppy dogs,
and then you did the corner of the cob,
and the last second you did the fight.
Yeah.
And you did, this is what I liked about it.
You did one.
You did one, that fucking book.
That's all you got now.
And we're,
I hope Jenny, when you are, is upsetting me a little bit to be honest
Yeah, I'm comfortable. I'm like you when he did the puppy dog. He did it without peanut butter
Boss boss
I was half a one boss
All right, so you guys I should actually love first because I have a little bit
of a different perspective on this, okay? You said that earlier. Couple things. Couple things.
Number one, well, you guys should have the information that I'm going to give you.
Was that a sightline joke? He, wow, he bit my dick a bunch. He did, he did. He bit it.
He wasn't just butter in the corn. He was fucking trying to chomp that shit on.
It was a hate crime. Sorry, you know what? That fucking, yeah.
You had to duck some points there.
The other thing, the whole butter on the bread, right?
Let me tell you something, he's a stubbly motherfucker.
The tip of my cock is very sensitive.
It's fucking, I'm getting a fucking blow job.
It's wet, it's sloppy.
You start to scrape my dick
against a stubbly fucking beard like that.
It's got food particles in it.
There's no way I'm coming from whatever the fuck was going on.
It's like a burlopad was washing the tip of my dick.
And that's why you should go last, though,
because we give our thing and then you give the real
part of the fight.
All right, so let's, all right, here you go.
Give it up for him right now.
Come back again.
Come on.
What's your name?
P-P.
What's your name?
P-P.
P-P. Good job. name? P-P-P.
P-P.
Good job.
All right.
So stick around and then we'll come back to you.
He's going to stay there because the audience will vote based off our judging at the end, right?
What's your name?
Pedro.
Pedro.
Okay.
He's got the right shirt on.
Let me see.
Turn to the crowd.
Let me see.
I know.
Do you think that hatch going to trick ISIS?
This is going to be. It does look like
you're taking your citizenship test. I love this country.
I'm cool. I'm cool. Get down. Get to your position. Let me
take a photo. Wait, get in there. Wait, hold on. Let them call
you. Uncle. I ready. Joe's gonna time there. Wait, hold on, let them call you uncle.
All right, ready? Joe's gonna time it.
Oh, yes, I'm a second.
Can you play some like mariachi band music or something?
Now, keep in mind,
we'll get the production up here on time.
That goes fast.
You have 15 seconds to suck that dick.
There comes El Stavros.
All right, are you ready?
Ready, set, go.
Ooh. Oh. Are you ready? Ready? Set, go! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Yeah!
Time's up! Time's up. What the fuck was that?
El stop Rosso El stop Rosso
El stop Rosso El stop Rosso El stop Rosso Oh fucking Bobby if this isn't a TV show
What the fuck that was awesome out of the box
Oh, yes, give it that's amazing dude. I think they should also make them do that to stay in the country
That's amazing dude. I think they should also make them do that to stay in the country.
To get their kids out of the cage.
That's a two real man, two real.
War in 2020.
Is that the first dick you ever sucked?
Oh, I don't get it.
He.
Oh, boy.
You haven't found an answer.
Those carol ones get lonely.
Would you suck a dick for a taco once?
Oh Jesus.
You said this is true.
That was fucking good.
All right, let's go.
Listen, that was fucking perfect.
The way you're fucking, you could be breastfeeding this audience.
That fucking, listen to me.
We're listening.
Oh, unbelievable. It're listening. Unbelievable.
It was beautiful.
I want to give you my card.
Good job.
I love it.
Oh, I love it.
Now, I thought that was amazing.
It was a good, they got the crowd into it.
It was very enthusiastic.
However, as a heterosexual man, if I brought a lady home
and she did that, I'd be like, I got a retarded person here.
No offense, I'm not saying you're retarded, but that was, it was real all over the place.
I like Lewis, yes, handing him my stuff, I think I'm in the face, I thought that was
a good, but for me personally, I'm a kind of a head case, it would be hard for me to
ejaculate under those circumstances.
You know what, Joe, I'm gonna say something because I thought,
because you were a little nervous up front
and then you went, fuck it.
Woo!
And you ripped that shirt up and you used your assets,
which is your fact.
Ha!
I liked that, right?
That was good.
But I got to agree with,
I mean, it was fucking awesome.
You made the gay guy nervous, okay?
The gay guy was doing the work.
The gay guy was like, oh shit,
I got some work to do.
But I gotta agree with Joe.
I mean, I didn't even think of that
is that if a girl did that, I might, you know,
get your shit together, relax.
I might do that.
You say I would slap her.
That's what you said, you'd hit her like back in the day.
I'd say that.
You said you'd kick her, or you say it's you,
you can't.
Yeah, I said I love my wife. Connor. I said, I love my wife.
Okay.
I agree.
Those are very specific kind of blowjob.
That was a cocaine blowjob.
That was the roughest.
You just really jumped into it.
And unless you're also on cocaine,
I don't think you're gonna come.
Can I say it seems like Mike has been blown the most of all of us.
I do have a good stockpile of calories.
But yeah, I mean, I thought it was good, ambitious and enthusiastic, as Joe said.
And it looked like you wanted to win, for sure.
But I guess we're going to see where everybody else comes in.
What about you, Lou?
I mean, I don't know what these other judges are talking about.
Elstoff Rosso was the fucking king.
Yeah.
I mean, he came out and the creativity was there
He looked at the little mits as am I got lost in the moment reason sort of like give me those little like love slaps
Like the fuck is it was your dream come true you blowing you
All you think of that's what this festival is. Yeah, you blowing.
Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe.
All right, Hastamanyana.
All right. Here we go.
What's the, what's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's have you been gay your whole life? Have you ever had pussy?
That's a genuine person.
Hold on, give my microphone to talk into it.
Jesus Christ.
Never had pussy.
You might like it though.
Now, can we get, if you don't mind saying, how many dicks do you think you've sucked in
your life?
If you don't mind, I don't want to put pressure on you.
Oh, I.
All right.
So, yeah, so a bunch.
Okay. Have you ever, like have you right. So, yeah, so a bunch. Okay.
Have you ever, like, have you ever
sucked like a Puerto Rican dick and you have to pull the skin down and go to your beans
or fall and down and stuff?
Well, I'm from the South, so it's usually K-so.
Oh, yeah.
It's got to be horrible, right?
You haven't had a dick.
You like cut or uncut?
I'm equal opportunity.
Yeah.
You like uncut?
You like when you get a shuffle it back and it You like gunpipe?
You like when you get a shuffle of back
and it smells like soup dumplings?
Has your never snap back and hit you in the eye?
Let's go.
All right, let's do it.
Let's do it.
And look at those fake edition.
I know, they're not fake.
Again, 15 seconds goes very quick.
In fact, everything's going to go about 18.
Hang on.
Listen, I know you think, I know you got confidence going in, you think you got it.
But let me tell you something, bro, it's on the line.
Represent, this is game month, this is some serious shit now.
If you lose to a chubby Mexican, I know.
I know. You're a fucking losing your gatecock.
Yeah, all the time.
Now get down there, let me get a fucking photo.
You're like, can I just say he had a great line.
He said they're taking all the jobs.
That's great.
Bobby also won't be posting any of these pictures.
These are completely for personal.
I will be.
All right.
That deserve more.
That was pretty good.
All right, five three two one go
Mother
Yeah, yeah, oh my god now that's professional
Four three two one
Somebody has to follow him
Wait you you should
Jesus by the way that was only because he was blind
You should have you should have went last wipe your mouth sweetie
You do know you don't need to get pushy you are a pro
That was amazing
Wow, I mean first of all Ridic ridiculous that we didn't have you go last. Also, that was amazing because you had all the pressure.
You're like the Golden State Warriors.
You have to win.
You're the favorite.
I don't know, do you look like the forgotten curry?
I'm not too smart, asshole. I would say that's like the best looking bow jump I've ever seen.
Yeah.
I tell you right now, I mean, I was a little nervous because of what went before you,
it was amazing.
The two guys before you're amazing.
And I thought you might have cracked down the pressure, but it only made you better.
Black fucking said, fucking, oh, bad.
Fucking wet, no teeth. I mean what the look at you dancing and then you went for the nipple
You went for the nipple cuz you know what fucking what a shwami here is
Here's a come unless you're hurting him a little bit
Not to mention look at the glistening tongue ring. We didn't even consider
Also, I don't know if I know the people in the front row saw it.
Right before he did it, he did this move where he bit his tongue ring and looked at me in
the eye too much.
Oh my God.
Let me see that, do that to me again.
Oh my God, that's fucking worse.
Lewis is actual dick, got hard and pushed the fake dick.
Further down his throat.
Yeah, that was it.
Yeah, I mean, look, I got to be honest with you.
Like, I love the creativity from El Stavroso, but Rashad, talking, he came in and I didn't
realize what a blowjob was supposed to be.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Until a few minutes ago. Like, I'm thinking of all the women in my life.
That really phoned it the fucking. Yeah. I mean, it's all bells and whistles with these
brats. This guy is a machine. I think what it is is women don't love car. I think we're Sean loves car. I'd like to say that. Yeah, that was that was a blue collar blow
job. Yeah. Yes. I think we all have caught by the fucking response to this gag. All right, we got
we still got another guy. We got what God is it? Thank you very much. Give it up. Yeah.
Sure. Give it up. I'm gonna feel we're gonna be hearing a lot from Roshan.
You know, you know, we guys in the audience right now going,
fuck, I should have did it.
Now let me ask you this, are there any more gay people here?
Because you guys might want to fuck.
You're sitting with two of them.
I'm just saying if I was gay and available and in the crowd,
I'd be fucking silent up to Roshan after this.
I don't think we can, I know.
We can't just do, we can't just do a bunch of gay guys. That's a fuck up. I'm saying they hang up to Roshan after this show. I don't think we can just do a bunch of the gay guys.
That's a club.
I'm saying they should fuck us.
Look, a lot of people here, but they don't mix races.
So, yeah.
We got one more guy.
And listen, now here he comes.
Come on up, dude.
Listen.
Lee, the great Lee, sorry.
And like a co-host and producer if Joey D.S. is podcast.
Brother, what's happening now?
If pressure is fucking on.
I don't know.
Here's the thing, I'm gonna say this.
I told you to say.
I can't wait.
Did you watch this?
Yeah, watch it.
I think there's no pressure.
I don't know.
Sorry, no fent for Sean, but watch that.
Nobody, nobody, nobody expect that from him.
Do you have a power watcher?
I can't wait until fucking Tuesday
in the next Joey D.S. podcast.
He was like, what the fuck, that's your new car?
You want to say something, you're sucking up a message.
Let me ask you, Joe, you said something.
You said the pressure is not on.
No pressure, because he's just no chance of him winning
He's like the I disagree. I think you look at me
I think you can dig down deep. I think you got it in you. I think you can do whatever you want
I think you got it in you and I think if you dig deep enough and you remember your mother and your father your aunts and uncles
And you do it for that fucking family yours the people that love you
All right ready set no Oh, suck that there. Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
He's riding the rodeo!
He's riding the rodeo!
Stay on!
Stay on!
Keep going!
Get through!
Riding!
Riding!
Riding!
Suck that dick! Suck that dick! Suck that dick! Riding, riding, riding, something, something, something, something, come.
All right, that's 40 seconds.
Whoops.
How are you feeling?
We almost lost the monitor.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, because somebody pushed that back up.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, that should be facing us.
It looked like Lewis was getting blown at to zoo.
Which time?
Wow.
I got to give you a little bit of insight here because you have to know this.
This is a little Lewis is on a breath.
I mean, that's a good blow job.
Yeah, he's on a breath too.
I've never been winded after I got my dick sucked before.
You never got your dick sucked by me.
No.
No, I haven't.
Holy shit, dude.
So let's go, Rich, what do you got?
Wait, when Lewis has to go for it,
he said, you want to go first?
I have to.
So Lee, I mean, I'm fucking his face, like brutally, right?
And he grabs me and he fucking pulls me and I'm fucking his face, brutally, right? And he grabs me and he fucking pulls me
and I'm fucking him.
And then I turned away from the audience
when I put my foot up on the monitor,
the monitor knocked down, and I'm friends with Lee.
I know Lee.
So I took the dick out of his mouth
and I put it to the side of his face
and it was like, I'll just fuck the side of his face.
For no reason, because you guys can see this, Lee took it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. He put it back in took it. He took it. He took it. He took it.
He took it.
He put it back in his mouth.
There's no reason.
There was no reason before.
That's your instinct.
That's inside you.
You can't be taught that.
You're gonna have that in you.
He fucked out.
You're not today, motherfucker.
Not today.
You're not the game. That's the not today. All of the game.
That's the Rocky moment.
I'll break you.
Yeah.
I should have.
Oh, retarge, love the zoo.
I'll also align from Rocky.
What do you think?
Listen, I thought he gave it all he had.
I thought it was just him getting up to stairs was tough. And the fact
that he can't go back to LA now at least, you know, well, that was just when, what's that? I know.
It was good. It was good. Okay, Joe. It was very, very good. We're not to the final part yet,
right? The audience is voting. We're giving audience feedback. Yeah, it was very, very good.
Tough fact to follow and you did a great job following it.
I would say, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I'll leave it at that.
Very good.
I feel like there would have to be teeth involved
with a blow job that aggressive.
I mean, again, similar to my second assessment,
it would be a little wacky in real life.
I, let me tell you something, kid.
I believe in you. I don't in you and you fucking came through.
I thought you were going to feel when you first put that cock, look at me.
When you first put that cock in your mouth, I was like, this is going to stink and something
came out of you.
Something came into him.
And Lewis pushed you to the limits.
He was like, I you want to play? You want to the limits. He was like, I, you want to play?
You want to play?
And you were like, I'll fucking play.
And then when that cock flopped out of your mouth,
you said, eh, and you, that's instinct.
I liked what you did.
I liked what you did.
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
Me too.
You gave your all.
I agree.
I agree.
I agree.
Everybody, everybody who was real fired up for you, they wanted to see a good show. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree.
Everybody, everybody who was real fired up for you,
they wanted to see a good show.
They were pumped initially.
And then you kind of fell into a rut
where everybody was like, well, we've seen this technique before.
But like a good comic digs out after a bomb.
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know.
You got to work.
Yeah.
You dug in your heels.
You won them back with some fucking vigorous-
That was like falling out of the fucking box.
I was like falling to David Tell.
Yeah.
I know.
Fucking West Coast, Mike Bachetti was great.
I like them.
All right, three.
I have never seen a blowjob in a polo shirt in my life.
Yeah, wait.
You're fucking-
Let's bring them all back on stage.
Come on.
Lisa, it.
El Stavroso.
Rashad and Pete Pete.
So first and second place have to blow each other, right?
Yeah, now we gotta go down to a round robin.
And that's where you have to eat asshole. It's funny that this is White People's version of 8 Mile.
Yeah, one of you should wore a hoodie.
We're shot.
All right, so I guess we go.
I want to do it right now.
I'll go out there, hang on.
Well, once more time, it's an infinite CVD prize pack worth of $150.
Some small, tiny vape cartridges, two tickets to Skankfest Houston, a wide-came unit T-shirt,
tickets to creeps with kids backstage actions, VIP access, holy shit, the biggest prize
package that's ever been offered at any show at Skankfest.
Put your hands together, motherfucker.
So you ready for this?
Are you ready?
Are you ready? Are you ready?
Let me hear you right here
I'm gonna be peepie
Wow, interesting Wow peepie. Hold your dignity for nothing. Let me hear you
Right here El Stavroso
El stop Rosso. El stop Rosso.
Next up is right here, right here.
And let me hear you right here.
The great slide.
All right, you guys take off.
You touch day.
Go. You guys walk over here.
Stand on that side.
Don't leave. Don't solve.
You did a good job.
You're all winners.
We're all winners.
I'm not talking. That's his posturing.
Right here.
We're shot.
Right here. We're shot. Right here.
That's the first time.
Hold here.
Right here.
Hold here.
Right here.
Hold here.
This one.
There's the winner.
We're shot.
There's your winner.
He gets his butt cocked, dildo belt.
He gets the infinite CBD price package worth over $150.
You know what Rashad, I'm going to throw in a tattoo for free as well.
Downstairs at the tattoo shop. I think it's hilarious.
We'll never be able to see it.
A Bobby, Bobby, smoke 20 big cartridges.
Any one of them that came up here can come back.
Skatech, any one of our shows.
And I want to get carried away.
Let's have the four of them.
It's only for us.
Anyone you guys want to come to the show,
you can come to the show, right?
How's that?
Anyone you guys want tickets?
They don't want to come.
We're doing kids.
You got tickets, you got tickets,
you got tickets.
Look under your seats.
You got, I'm kidding.
Give it up for these guys.
Oh, these girls.
All right. All right.
It's fantastic.
Oh, that was.
We can't follow that.
I know.
I see it in contest right now.
Who I see in my can is asshole.
We could have reburned Vos's hat.
Give me my hat so you don't burn it.
I'm not burning a flag.
What do you
have to your mind? To be permission to burn bosses hat or no. That T-shirt to him.
I told Bobby the last time he was supposed to be my bosses hat was at the creek where
the cats running around and fucking if Bobby gets what I you know how much you could
pay for the hell wants to burn maybe they don't want to burn Vos's hat. Neither do. Maybe some of you guys might get stupid hat.
Burn that hat.
Burn that hat.
Burn that hat.
Listen, if you come up with a hundred bucks,
you can burn my hat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You got 10 somebody somebody worked over time
Oh
He's got a hundred right here
Hey, come on up you get the burn it wait a second. No way. Well hold on. This is just a starting bid
Give him that.
Give him that.
I don't want to take his hundred dollars.
No, it's the other 50 goes to St. Cune.
St. Jew?
Yeah.
Let me ask you.
No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
stretch the bid out, fuck face, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stretch the
bit of fuck facing at 10 more minutes.
You ever did a podcast before asshole?
Get some water.
I mean, wait a minute, let's just sit to the tar hat now.
Let's just throw it around the room and see what these fuckers want to do with that.
Hold on.
Give it a nice smell, see what happens.
He's, by the way, he says a car trunk full of those hats. Yeah, from he sells them ever shows.
We need a lot of water because there's no way this is fire codes.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get about.
I was going to get a bucket of water before we, where's the hat?
Who has the hat on?
They threw it back up.
Wait a second.
You know, we got rich.
You look good in it.
You know, fucking good in it.
It looks way more appropriate than that
man, man.
Yeah.
Lewis looks like the bassist of No Doubt. Mike's going to be, Mike's on fire. Mike has
never been funny. I should have seen it. This fucking bass is fucking magic for you. You know, I just realized I need to have for tonight, so.
No, no, no, huh?
It will go by your new one.
This is Brooklyn.
There's nine stores with those fucking stuff.
Yeah, but I feel bad taking a hundred bucks from this guy.
What do you do for living?
You saw art?
He didn't get a bug for it ever.
He makes more money than us.
Don't feel bad. He's a lot of fun. He got a forward at it, right? He makes more money than us.
Don't feel bad.
He's the youngest son from home improvement.
What did you write shit before this podcast?
I mean, that's fucking written.
Who has that reference in the fucking can?
What the fuck is that?
Sir, what nationality are you, sir?
No, yeah, you.
You're Mexican and Italian.
It looks like a superhero, like a little Mexican superhero,
doesn't it?
It does.
It's a very good shape.
He's very good shape.
What do you do, sir?
What do you call him?
The pizza barber shop.
What the fuck?
This guy's, I mean, it's not.
Cannonball, cannonball, cannonball, cannonball. This guy's I mean it's not in ball in ball
in ball
in ball
This is the only festival that doesn't have water
I have water
I know they have water
Every kind of drug ever made in the back
We don't forgot water
Here we go
Here we go
What are you doing? Here we go Here we go
What's going what are you doing?
Where's his hat? Another hat fuck you
No way no way no fucking way
No, he went this the better one. It's the better one
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right in his nose. That's a stat, that's a fact, right? You, oh, shit.
They really all picking their nose into your hat, Rich.
Don't put it in the chin.
Look at these, he's become.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
He's so mad.
That's a hat you're burning.
All right.
Wait, Rich, stay up here.
I got you a nice lighter, right here.
We're gonna smell when they burn.
Let's push that down.
Probably gonna stay down there.
No, you can still do it, right?
Burn that hat.
Burn that hat.
Burn that hat.
Burn that hat burn that hack burn that hack Wow
Oh shit and we're on fire
It's plants melting yeah, give me a we're done thick it burned all the way for the audio listeners
It burned through and through
Listen wow look at that fire holy shit the roofs on fire people are freaking out
You never help that's like fall in the gay guy blowing people
You never help. That's like falling a gay guy blowing people.
That's the fact.
That's salvageable.
All right, we're gonna get the fuck out of here.
You guys, I wanna thank you YKW Defense.
Bump, bump. Can I say something?
Yes, can I say something?
Let me tell you something right now,
that's a fucking fact.
Without Robert Kelly, this man right here,
this vessel would not exist.
This is a fact. Here's the Godfather of Skankfest.
I wouldn't be podcasting today.
I wouldn't be in New York today.
I wouldn't be doing any of the shit that I've been doing
without this man.
And piggybacking off of the incredible ideas
and the shit that he came up with.
Because he was the first motherfucker
of your social media right.
First motherfucker with a cool website.
Putting out clips for podcasts.
YKDBD is the original fucking OG hilarious fucking love you guys yeah and I love you
you guys are the best fans in the fucking world.
We'll see you guys next year.
Take care.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Now go back to your shitty jobs.
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